The Fighter & The Kid - Josh Wolf Talks TRT, “Bro Science” & Feeling 20 Again | TFATK Ep. 1177

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

Brendan Schaub, Bryan Callen, and guest Josh Wolf get real about TRT (testosterone replacement therapy), aging, and what actually happens when you start.They break down the difference between “bro science” and medically supervised TRT, including energy levels, recovery, libido, and overall health. Callen explains why he started TRT despite already being in shape, while Schaub shares mistakes he made early on without proper bloodwork.The conversation also dives into how hormones affect performance, mental clarity, and daily life—plus whether TRT is becoming more common for men as they age.On top of that, the guys get into hilarious and wild stories from the road, including chaotic comedy club moments and real-life situations you can’t make up.If you’re curious about TRT, fitness, aging, or just love unfiltered comedy podcasts, this episode hits everything.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is really the fighter and the kid. Come on, baby. You're a grandpa to nine. You've got nine grandchildren and you're 56. Well, let's introduce. It's Josh Wolf, one of my favorite people. The best. And a great comic and a great human being.

You're at Cap City this weekend? Cap City this weekend. Cap City, great club, man. Great club. I just talked to Mark Grossman yesterday. Great club. Great club. And you'll sell well there.

Yeah, yeah. I love, but I've always come to, even the old Cap City. Remember that old room? Yep. I loved that old room. I like those in the strip mall. Yeah. Yeah.

But I like those long, kind of flat looking. Yeah, I love that shit. It's a great, I love that place. I remember the old cap cities. Yeah. That's what I was always. Oh, God, I love that. A low ceiling comedy club is where all of the energy comes flying out.

I have so many great members. of that. Yeah. And then there's opposite because when you do San Antonio, it's like the ceilings. It's like crazy. In that place in Minneapolis, in the mall, the mall of America. It's just a little, it's a little cavernous. The first time I went, the manager was like, hey, you ever played here?

And I said, no. And he was like, just so you know, he said, unless this place is sold out, a lot of times you'll see them laughing, you just won't hear him. And I was like, what? Yeah. They're right in front of me. And he goes, yeah, but the last straight up. That was a club where a guy had a seizure in my front row, a seizure.

And, you know, I mean, I mean, mass exodus. Just, ah, what the ablance? Stretcher. That's the end of that show, you know. But yeah, you're right. If it's not packed, and even if it is, it's. Those laughs escape. It's just.

We had a woman, you know, I do a residency. I live in Vegas. I have a residency there. That's fucking right. You live in Vegas now, dude. And this woman passed out out of her, you know that noise a head makes when it hits something like that? You hear from toddlers a lot. Yeah, yeah, when they fall without their hands.

And they're like, oh, you're sure can cut. Oh, God. She fell. And it made that noise where even in the middle of the show, everyone was like, you know what's up. Oh, my, yikes. Fucking God. Bleeding from the brain. And then when she got up.

up. It's so funny when people get up and they're like, I'm fine and you look at them and they have like a, I'm like, no, you're not. You're not fine. Dude, I was at the rodeo with my family and there's this little kid and like, overall is going to be more country. But the dad has him standing on the top of the bleachers. And he can tell, he's probably five or six. Oh, Christ. I get so nervous. And I'm just like, if I can just, do you mind if I touch the kid? I'm not. Yeah. Do you mind? Not touching kid, but he's fine. He got him. I'm like, all right. Kid. What a surprise. And I was like, I was mad at the dad.

I'm like, you fucking idiot. The kid's crying, crying. And then dad's like, he's fine. I'm like, you want to ice or something? He's like, no, he's fine. And then the kid for the rest of the road, he was just a bunch of energy. Restorota just, yeah, man. Clearly.

Yeah, kids concussed. Yeah. He's just staring at a shitty dad of the year. You just staring at the horses like, fuck. The dad's like, you good, boy. How many times were you concussed in high school football and nobody gave a thought? Oh, dude.

A million? Well, you might have given people constructions. I got them, too, at college, too. They just called getting your bell rung. And then I was the guy, because I was full back, and I was the wedge buster on kickoff, too. So I remember going to a film study on, like, Sunday. They'd be like, all right, let's watch shop, get fucked up here.

And it was like, yeah. And then even then, I'm like, this can't be good. Like, I'm known as the meathead. No concussions in baseball, though. Dude, zero. You know what I'm saying? Zero. Although the kid this past weekend did the pitcher took a straight

Hard line drive to the throat. No. Stud pitcher's name's Hill. He's throwing heat. They're like nine and ten throwing like 58, 60 at this age. That's so insane. That's at 60 feet, right? Yeah.

They're not on the full field yet. No, not in full field. I mean, throwing heat. Ting, coo. He's like, goes to the ground. I'm like, again, Texas dads. He all right. Get on up now.

Get on up. Bree, son, get on up. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, I'm, you know, I'm Colorado. I'm like, oh, my, guys, he all right? And the dad's like, don't touch him, don't touch him. And he's like, Bree, son. And he's pitched the rest of the game.

That is a different. Oh, they're just. Stud. It's a different mentality. It's a different mentality. But, dude, you look great. You're on, and you two got this in common. I've been, I've been on it for a hot second.

Yeah, it's my first week. We're the TRT boys. We're the TRT boys. What a good new boy band. Now, TRT. Oh, what's up? Oh, my God. Dude,

laser and jump, put your hands together for TRT. They can't dance and they can't sing, but they are TRT boys. No rhythm either. No rhythm. But they got energy.

Yep. The guy on the left is Jewish and the guy in the middle of Samoan. Gang, can, can't, gang, gang, gang. The oldest dudes with the smallest nuts. Yeah. That's right. Oh, you're nuts.

My nuts haven't, my nuts haven't been on it long enough. Oh, okay. Eventually your nuts go, I think our work's done. They've pulled up shop. They're going back to their original home. Yeah. Mine are like the size of like small grapes. Are they?

Yeah. You're taking a lot. I'm not taking a lot. I'm taking very little. But I have to tell you. But why did you get on it? Because you've always been shredded. We were just talking about this.

Usually when people like start to lose like the definition, the muscle and like lose some weight, that's when guys are like, I should probably do something. It wasn't. anything the way I looked honestly that's thanks for bringing that that's a baby dick so that is not great doesn't make your dick shrink that's a tiny dick whose dick is that yeah that's a tough

look that's a tough look that looks like child's dick so honestly it looks like a thumb yeah big balls on the left though it honest it's it looks like Brett Farve's dick yeah his dick look like yeah I love that guy yeah

I tip that pig that Dick pick. It's the only dick pick I've kept on my phone, but it made me laugh. I'm like, this dude, it looks like a thumb with no nail. Yeah, he's awesome. But who convinced you to do TRT? Honestly, it had nothing to do with the way I looked. It had to do with, I love working out, man. It's like, I have an addictive personality. And so if I don't get to the gym, it's not good for me. So, but my workouts were, and my recovery was just dragging. Yeah, dude. After that first half hour, I was like, I don't got it. Especially the recovery.

That's when you're like, dude, what the hell's going on? I couldn't walk up the stairs in my fucking house after that day. So I was like, I'm going to try this. Plus, I travel a lot. You know? That beat you up. People don't realize it. Like, you're flying and all that.

Get in out your routine. And when you're touring, you're doing, for me, like I would work out and then I would do, I'd be out stage for at least two and a half hours a night. And, you know, I found myself for the fact. first time being really tired. In the middle of shows. Like as in, like, I do my first show and I was like, I don't want to go out there. I'm tired.

And then by the end of it, I was like, oh, I'm going home. And once I got back, I got on TRT, I literally don't have that anymore. I have that energy again. Be how long I've been telling you? There's some weird taboo thing with TRT, be like, oh, steroids, like, let's say you're a deficient vitamin D. Yeah. And you go to the doctor and then like, hey, we did the blood,

work, your vitamin E so low. Okay, we're just going to get back to optimal levels. Yes. That's the same thing as testosterone, but it's way more important. Waste to well, ways to well, got deep in it. So Ways to well, like Denaise was like, she goes, look, your overall high, testosterone is high, but you've got to look at your free testosterone. You've got to look at what's available.

You've got to look at your sex binding hormone, your sex hormone binding gobule, which is when you get older, especially in Mediterranean descent, it's higher and it sucks up all the testosterone. Yeah, it's not utilizing. Yeah, if you understand somebody who really understands the endocrine system, she was like, I'm just telling you, you know, I'm not telling you to do it. There are other things you can do. I go, well, let's just do it.

Let me see what happens. Boom, boom. Yeah, with Ways to Well, like I've been on TRT for so long. Ways to Well. Ways to Well is like a peptide clinic, health clinic. It's close to here. It's a health clinic. If you want to go, can definitely say you.

I do because I want to get into these peptides. Got you. Say less. I got you. My boy, Brigham will connect you after this. It's close to here. Really? But, because I was on TRT forever, dude.

When I retired first thing, I was like, where's the testosterone? But how come? How come you, because you've always been a big dude. Yeah, but training as much. Yeah, but I think energy, especially once I started having kids, like keeping up with those critters, and then really just energy. Like this morning, like now I'm good. Like this morning, my baby girl walking me up at 3.30. And once I'm up, I'm up.

There's no. Really? Let me go give her, yeah, yeah. Oh, you can't go back to bed? No. If Billy wakes me up at two. three, that's all right. That's, that's, so I've been up since three.

I'm good, baby. I'm fucking great. Yeah. I'll go from here. I get two shows. I got to do this workout that they get a film. And then I'll take target of practice. I'll be on my feet for two and a half hours.

Yeah. I'll go home. I'm good, dude. I'm good. But my thing is T.R.T. This is where the taboo comes from. There was bro science. So I was doing like, you say you're doing five.

I was doing like 12. Whoa. Correct. And I was like, 12, uh, 12. things. How much are you doing? I do a total of 80 milligrams a week. So I do that much in the syringe

in the eight I use. Every other day. So I was doing, but my thing is I was doing 12 because this is where the bro signs comes in. No one, I just got a prescription from some random dude that made it happen this random doctor.

No one did my blood work. So I was doing all this stuff. I wasn't feeling great. My libido was shot. I had all these issues. You also had a little bit of stuff. So when I went to Waze the Well, they actually did blood work and broke it down. Like, first of all, you're doing way too much.

Like, this is why you're feeling like this. And then added some peptides. Your boy's kicking it now. Cooking, dude. Yeah, you got to do it with the supervision of a doctor. First thing I asked you, because a lot of people just do it on their own. I'm like, hold it. You got to look at your levels and have somebody really knows what the fuck they're doing

because it's a very delicate process. I do. I am going to do what you suggested, though, which is break it up. I just put it all of the... My producing is, really good because what happens is so every other day, I'll do like a very small amount because you don't get these spikes. You don't get this like high. So if you take sip and eight, some people do it, but I'm saying for somebody my age, like they were telling me, just try to do

try to microdose. Everyone should because if you do five or whatever is eight I use all at once, your test song goes whoop. And then throughout the week, it's going back down. So by Saturday, Sunday, you're like, oh man, but by breaking it up, then you're constantly like this. when my doctor said that I was going to have increased libido and I told my wife she she was like well I want you to know I'm not on testosterone so those days are over yeah she was like you're going to figure out what you're going to do with that but I think the quote she said was hard pass and a flaccid pass yeah pass yeah no so I'm passing on that my wife is 23 years younger and when I say I woke up this

morning with a dick that would blunt a cat's claw. If a cat came and attacked my dick, the cat would come out with blunt claws. That's how hard it was. You've never really had a problem with your wiener. I never have, but it's, it's teenage hard. It's actually. I mean, I'm 18. Has your wife, how's your wife feel? Does she have? She feels good. See, but we, I have, I have this buddy, I don't say who I don't want to give away, but so his wife was constantly taking naps, not waking up for the kids, like not, you know, just, No energy, just kind of a bummer to be around. And so my wife was like, man, she should probably get your blood work checked out.

So we sent her to Waste her well. She does her blood work. And they're like, oh, my God. Yeah. Like, first of all, it's not only for guys, your testosterone, there's zero. Yeah. It's important for women, too. Like, it's zero.

I'm going to have her good test. Yeah. So, and then she did this. Dude, her husband was like, buddy, you saved our marriage. God. Like, she's a different person. And it's all hormones, right? Yeah, it's all hormones.

And he's like, I had no clue about it. of this. He's like, since she's done it, it's like, we've gone back 20 years. Does she, do they have to balance the estrogen also? They do all of that. Yeah, they do all that. But it's such a minuscule amount for women. Yeah. I mean, she has a huge cock now.

Yeah. Her energy's there. I mean, she can put her clear. Dude, you're right. And she's a beer. But her energy's there, dude. You're right about the testosterone for women, which I didn't know. Yeah.

They will, they will manipulate that because women, if you're really healthy, you have a certain level of testosterone as well as progesterone. It's a balance. act, right? But to your point, like, if your hormones are off, you are fucked, and most people are walking around, they don't get enough sleep, they don't eat right, they've got stress, all these things, that's already throwing things off, then with age, then, you know. But then also, when your testosterone is low, like your immune system shots, you get sick more. Yes.

Like, it's so important. I'm, I'm really interested as to how it's going to change my body, because I've always been kind of, Jack. Yeah, it's going to be sick. I've always been probably put on a little weight. Like I've, I've put on maybe so far three pounds. But in your dick. Just in your tummy. And just in my tummy.

I've seen it. Just in your tummy. You have some love handles now? No. They call them TRT love handles. No, I don't have. Just kidding.

Okay. That'll be your name in the group. Love handles. Yes. I got a little pimple on my neck and I'm so paranoid staff. And I was like, I have staff. And they're like, at the studio.

Ingrown hair. Or you're taking TRT and you're getting pimples. I was like, What the fuck? You jump right to staff? Right away. He's like, I'm so afraid of it.

I'm so afraid of it. That's what you're afraid? Well, because staff's no joke and so I'm rolling around a lot and, and, you know, I'm just always worried about it. I'd be, if you're, if you're seeing the benefits from T.R.T. Like, there's so many beneficial peptides, too. It's wild. I have one. And when you go to Ways the Well, you're like, what?

Can I just say, can I just say where I noticed it? Like, I know it sounds without, but like my hand speed. I know it sounds weird, but like when I was hitting Mitz, when I posted that thing. Like the difference in, like I was hitting this and I saw, I did a video, somebody took it and I was like, oh, that I'm, I was so slow. And I, and then I was just slower. I was just fucking, and I took after TRT, like I feel like my hands are like I'm just stronger. I'm faster. Sounds like when you send some Gina Carrano's wet. Just kidding. Love it. Yeah. She looks slow on the main. Oh, she does? Yeah. Yeah, but, you know. Well, I, is she fighting again? She's right in Ronda May 14th. how old are they she's older than she's 39 no she's 40

she's over 40 is ronda also over 40 ronda might be 39 39 38 she's 39 is that a fight you're interested in watching um uh yeah i'm a degenerate i'll watch bum's fight

off 6th street i'll watch i'll watch bums yeah i mean dude i'll break it down like if his left hand a little higher but um but yeah i'll watch the yeah

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Like, what is, I remember Gina fighting early on. Dude, she hasn't fought in 15 years. Yeah, so is that? She's been doing movies. Ronda should be a minus 4,000? Because of her wrestling. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah. She's going to. Is that the only reason she's taking the fight? Because she's minus 4,000. Yeah, probably good reason. Like, they offered me a fight in the fight. was very tough. Like, you offer me, this is like a few months ago.

I'm like, but buddy, come out. We're doing it. Yeah. But if you get, if I was a minus fourth down, I'm like, yeah, I'll do it. Yeah, I'll, fuck yeah, I'll do it. Who would be, who would be a guy without, you could probably maybe name some names? I say, okay, I got, look, Brennan, two million dollars. Okay.

Two million dollars. Flap fee? Flat fee. You offered Connor Ben, 15, though. Let me go, let me go through some, okay, how much you want? I'm more famous. All right. All right.

All right. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, who are they all I'm taking? my, I'm taking a random boxer. Yeah, kind of Zufa boxing off from 15 mil for one five. Yeah, Connor Benzo, I'm more exciting. Yeah, I'm more famous. So I got to stand my game.

And, all due respect, there are people who would be like, I would like I would like to see Brendan maybe get, right? Yeah, but so that would in, I'm only getting a lot of eyeballs. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? I'm giving you five mil after taxes. We got, we got three mil in the bank, okay? Oh, yeah. Pretty nice.

Now, that's nice. Now I'm going to go through some names. Don't get. Be realistic, though. Don't be realistic, though. Don't be like, Chuck. I'm going to. And I'm going to and I want you to just relax.

Alistair over him. Now. Is there drug testing? There is not. Because neither one of us can pass. There is not. There is. We both testing. Yeah. There is no drug testing. There's no drug.

Yeah, I'm trying. You went. Yes. Okay. That's right. You went like vegan too for a while? So yeah. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Okay. So you're in for Alice. Pretty good right there. His head is massive. He's looking pretty jacked.

Keep going. Yeah, who's next? Yeah, keep going. Okay. What about one of the Diaz brothers? I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. I'll fight both of them.

I'm going to say it. Brock Lezner. No fucking. Now, hold on. Absolutely. You what? Fuck, yes. You know how many eyeballs that we get?

He would do it 100%. Yeah, but you know how many eyeballs you might leave with? Nah, I don't know. What do you do knock me out? I don't know. I can't box. He can't box. No, no.

He's such a surprise. Big dude. He's a big dude. And he's older, I would do it. But you know who's got really good jiu-jitsu? That guy. Real good jiu-jitsu. How big you think Brock Lesnar is?

Very big. Very big. But, you know, he's Bam-Bam. He's a strong boy. Oh, dude. I'm every bit of $250. He's a strong boy, though. I've seen him wrap out.

And his jiu-jitsu is, is a problemo. God, he's looking jacking. He's a nightmare. He's a nightmare. He's a nightmare. Is that recent? We're all nervous. we're all very nervous.

We're all very nervous. Yeah. It's not fun. Yeah. He's jacked out of his mind. But my guess is your cardio's better, Bubba. Yeah, cardio's way better. Your cardio's way better.

He's going to run right at you, right? That's what's going to happen. Yeah, there's no, there's no, like, mystery of what he's going to do. He's going to try. Which, that would be ideal. I know. So I like the fight. I like the fight.

I like the fight. Okay. In your mind, you've got to survive the first, how many minutes? Probably three minutes. Yeah. And then, and then Brock's got a problem because he's got very good cardio. Yeah. And his jiu-s-s-a-pore.

So, you know, it's going to be. It would be more than five-mell to fight, probably. What's that? You got to pay me more than five-mills because they would probably pay him if it was like MVP, like Netflix. But I'm saying five. I'm saying five because I can't pay him 40. But if I give you 40, you're going to play everything. You're going to fight everybody, right?

What if we send you to Japan and do one of those five-on-one fights? Oh, that'd be cool. I would love to see that. Yeah. I got like medieval girls. Yeah, that'd be sick. How about, would you run it back with Andre? Orlovsky?

Ah, man, he's active. He's active. I wouldn't fight him in Bearnuckle. I'd fight him in M.MA. Yeah, he's active, though, isn't he? On, like, a Netflix card, I would do it. Yeah. Again, you can't test me.

When's the last time? How long is the worst has you fought? Uh, I retired in, this year's been 11 years? Damn, that's a lot of miles on that body. Does it, like, 11 years removed from getting punched in the face? something that you would have to be like I'm gonna have to feel this oh yeah like they they couldn't be like hey you got a two month notice I'm like no no I need eight months to get back on track at least make it presentable yeah and then I you know things have to come to a whole like you know

I'm probably missing some practice like coach my kids baseball and football like I don't know if it's worth it you know man when Andre was young he was he looked amazing in 2000 I remember seeing him in person I was at that fight it's a tough gig dude dude I remember I remember I I remember the first time I got punched in the face in a fight. I was like, yeah, I don't like this. Nobody does. This is not. Andre had cancer, Bubba?

Yeah. What do you have? What kind of cancer? I don't know. I forgot. We talked about it, too. What is it? He beat it, though.

Are you beating 2024? He's had cancer twice? I think three times or something. Yeah, three time. Three time kids are coming back. Tumor removed from kidney. Holy shit. Yeah, that's not good.

Kidney cancer. Jesus. If you're going to get a cancer, that's the cancer. cancer to get, actually. Is it a cancer? That's not good. That's not good at all. That is three times.

How's life in Vegas, brother? My guy. Hot. It's not hotter than here. Are you? So for three months, first of all, first of all,

it's dry heat and it's way easier. Our heat, Bubba, our heat make no mistake. I don't think it's shit. I don't think it's shit. So I don't like humid at all. I don't like it at all. I like humidity.

No, no, no, no. But vague. Vegas, dude, I'm telling you the best kept secret about Vegas is the weather. Yeah. So three months a year, it's rough, but I lived in the fucking valley. That's what I'm saying. So there were three months of the year where I didn't go outside either.

That's the point. Everyone goes, get ready for that take seat. I'm like, man, the valley was 106, 108. And heavy. 45 days straight? At least. Yeah, dude. And hot.

Vegas. So we were, we were 70 degrees last week. Yeah. 75 degrees. It's beautiful. It's fucking. To me 80. Let's me 88.

What's that? You like living there. I love it. Listen, man, I like being removed. I don't need to be in it anymore. I got my residency there, so I get, I get two nights a week in town where I just drive down and fuck around and do whatever I want. And where you doing that at? At Kimmel's.

Oh, sick. Do you go to the wise guys, too? I don't do wise guys because Kimmel's has me there. But Sundays and Mondays, it's just me and Lunel. So I do my show, she does her show. And do they pack it in? Yeah, dude, it's great. Great.

It's, and the thing. about Vegas, man, is that when people, like, I don't like Vegas, I'm like, well, then you don't like anything. Because everything, you have everything. Well, that's the same when people are like, oh, L.A., Hollywood, it's like, yeah, bitch, I don't live in Hollywood. Yeah. Like, that's a it would be like, I don't like Austin because of Sixth Street.

Like, no one in Austin's going to Sixth Street. Like, the suburbs are amazing. It's like, if you, when you were living in L.A., if somebody was like, hey, let's go to Universal City Walk, you'd be like, yeah, call me when you absolutely not. Yeah, yeah. I'm never fucking going. Never. I'd go to the strip.

Twice a week for my shows. You know, my wife's been out of town shooting a movie, so I'll go down and gamble every now and then because I take some mushrooms and go down there. But the food is fucking next level. Yeah, it's good restaurants. Next level. Next level.

Your kids are older, but also good school systems out there too. But also, buddy. Have either one of you been to the sphere yet? No. I drove by it. Fuck. You went to it? Oh, man.

To the Eagles or some shit? I'm I 90? I don't know, man. I don't know who else was there. I went and saw Zach Brown there. Oh, I love Zach Brown. The Eagles. I don't know who else had residency there, though, you know?

Everybody. Yeah. I went and saw the dead. Fucking amazing. I'm going to go see Metallica. Oh, I would love that. And I'm going to go see Backstreet Boys. Oh, that'd be fun.

Oh, come on, dude. I know all those. Wait, is Justin Timberlake going to be part of it or no? not the backstreet boys hey boomer the fuck who is he in excess jump off the balcony NSX jump off the balcony in sync boomers he was in sync that's who you backstreet boards are who back I don't know I know who they are but I don't listen to that because I'm I'm a straight man and I'm but you should know though you don't know but they're like you don't though you I don't like their music oh no they're some sloppers you don't think

Backstreet Boys has some good songs. Are you just saying that because you're all testosterone and you're discharged? I think it's terrible. I don't like that kind of music, really. I never want to. It's too. No, it's too. It's too canned.

It's a little too. I'm an artist, guys. What do you, what do you listen to? What do you listen to? I mean, you know. Jethro Toll. You don't listen.

I'm a tall, I'm a tall freak. I love the flute. If the flute's not in the bucket, I'm not going to have music. I'm not going to listen to flute. If there's no flute. You don't listen to a ton of music.

I only listen to music when my kids are in the car. Otherwise, I'm listening to a podcast. Yeah, me too. I never listen to music. My wife is a music girl. She listens and she always has music in the house. Buddy,

I don't have you can relate to this when your son's playing baseball. When I'm driving at 7 a.m. To a game, dude, it's fucking Metallica, Rage Against a Machine. Oh, yeah. M&M. How great, by the way, dude, is watching your kid play baseball.

Best thing on the planet. So Jacob Wolf, my son was a phenomenal. Really? Dude, can I tell you? Don't you, hate to interrupt you, don't you think because he's good, it makes the experience better? Yes.

Like, there's some dads where the kids just don't have any. We're not having the same experience. No, no. Jacob, at nine years old, I'll remember this forever, man. I had to pull him off first base crying because it was the first time he had ever gotten out. Oh, my God. He just didn't really. And I was like, dude, you're out.

He was like, what? And I'm like, yeah, you have to come back to the bench. What do you mean? Yeah, he was like, well, it's baseball. So there's three out. I'm one of them. I'm always on base. And like, you actually.

Not this time. Yeah, you're out. Yeah. He couldn't fucking. You know, he went to. It was amazing. My wife and I, my wife and I went to see a friend of mine and his son was playing lacrosse.

And my wife. My wife was laughing so. so hard because his son was running away from the ball and was running he would run straight up he was he looked like he was done have it he looked like he was barefoot on on on on pebbles he just don't have it he didn't have it and the ball would be there right there and he would go like this and he's like all right come on to me let's go i don't know what that's like now that's so so did were you coaching too oh yeah is it the best dude what's up daddy got so your son played for how long He played until he was a sophomore, and then he moved to a school that just didn't have baseball.

And you guys, you guys were playing in the Valley? Yeah, we were in the Valley. And he didn't want to do the travel thing. Honestly, he didn't want to do the travel. I get it, dude. It's a lot, dude. It's a lot. A lot.

He's gone all day, dude. He's literally for 12 hours, he's outside on a Saturday and Sunday. Here's the truth. Oh, and then practice four times a week. I just, in the people, Jacob was like, did you have travel ball? And I said,

when I was growing up, no, our parents didn't like us that much. They weren't dropped. Never. But my dad, if my dad had been like, you want me to drive an hour

and sit on a field for six hours while you play three, I have shit to do. Get the fuck. Yeah. Unless you're going to be the greatest baseball. It's such a business now. That's the,

what is the correlation between size and skill in terms of when, right now it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Until they hit puberty. Until they hit puberty, you don't know what they got. You need some size, though, to play in the majors? No.

Not in baseball. The thing about baseball, and I don't know about the other sports, but the kids, like, you know, like there was an Armenian kid I grew up with who had a mustache when he was 11, and he dominated, but he never grew. Until, yeah. So you just don't know until everybody's not. So you'll tell a team, like, especially we went in Houston, like the top 20 teams in the nation.

Yeah. And you'll see the coach literally was like, I'm taking all the kids hit puberty. We're going to dominate you little bitches that have it. And they're throwing 60, 65 changeups, fucking curveball splitters. It's like, cool. Enjoy it for now.

Yeah. Because once these kiddos hit that, you'll catch up. We'll catch up. Yeah. I explain this to Tiger all the time. I'm like, buddy, what's all good? Because he struggled. These kids were fucking pitching heat.

Top 20 teams in the nation. But it's good for them to. It's good to a certain. extent. Like, you just want all failure. But also, once you go to travel ball, it takes away the innocence. It's no longer just about fun. Now, it's super competitive. It's such a bummer, though. It's a bummer. It's like, I never had that until I was like in college. Yeah. Like, this isn't good. But baseball for me, out of all the sports, by far the best. The best one. And it's the best one to go watch. You're outside. It's good weather. You're not in a gym in the winter or a rink in the

I mean, you remember, did you go to hot, play hockey at all? Honestly. The skates were like at 5 a.m. Yep. To get a rink. It was a fucking, when Jacob was like, I had to tell him. He was like, I want to play hockey. I'm like, you're going to have to get yourself there.

You think I'm getting up at four to get you a rink by five? Nightmare. Zero percent chance. But baseball's great weather. You're outside. I just, it was my favorite sport to coach and to watch him play and all that shit. I freaking love. it, dude. Is your son good?

Yeah. What's his thing? It's both of them. So my oldest tiger, his thing... Are they huge? TIGER's massive, yeah. He's 10. He's just a big kid. Dude, he's a... He's a... He's a, like, a 260-foot home run. He's got... He's got a neck this thick. He's got traps.

It's so weird. He's just a... He's athletic, big kid. Do you got him working out? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I got my six-year-old working. T-R-T yet? No, we're thinking about. For sure, peptides. But the cheat code is, is obviously, Tiger's this beast, super strong, can hit the ball,

million miles. But then the younger brothers used to play with the older kids. So the younger ones, such a monster. Like, his fundamentals are crazy. For six, crazy. Like, he's, you know, I coach his team. He's the only kid, really, there's not to make kids even on Tigers travel ball team, but he's six playing, you know, in the upper division.

And like last year when we first got there, they put him with the eight U team because he was dominating the five year olds. Come on. So he's five playing with eight. So now he's on like the six U, the better kids. They do tryouts for five and six year olds now. No fucking way. There's trouts. Because there's NL and AAL.

The AOL is first timers. Kids want to see if it's for them. The NLs are kids that can cook. So he's prep stepping at six, dude. And I don't have to tell him to do this. Literally prep stepping. Talking about turning two. I'm like, blah, blah.

I like where your heads at. Yeah. There's no turning two because that kid at first base you're going to shit his pants if you throw the ball that hard, dude. There's no turning two. So stop to me. Turning two.

Her play second base. He'll field the ball, step on second. You get the kid out and go for a double play and throw it to first. And he throws so hard the kid's like, dude, what the fuck? I'm like, you got to quit saying turning two for me.

It's freaking everybody out. They're sick, dude. You're freaking out with your genetics. Yeah, they're looking for their capricson and their orange slice. Yeah, that kid's staring at the sun and you're talking about turning two. As a regular guy, I remember playing baseball and some of those standout kids, this kid Mike Gomez,

like he ended up playing, I think, pro, semi-pro. And when I remember, I was nine, and I remember he was a pitcher. And I remember going, I can't see that ball. Also, I'm afraid of that. Also, I'm afraid. Here's what's crazy about Texas sports is like yesterday, like Tiger pitches and we go to the field early. I mean, him warm up before he warms with the team.

That's just our thing. we talk and tell the ball back and forth. And the coach, he's on another team, the Mustangs, played for the Mustangs, but they have all sorts of age group. He comes over and he's telling him, like, teach him some technique he should do. And I'm like, holy fuck, dude, that guy pitched in two World Series. He's the all-time league strikette leader for, I think, the Texas Rangers, like superstar, like Hall of Famer.

Crazy. And he's teaching Tiger. And I look over in the head guy, coach at University of Texas. he's like a legend in the area he's the head of the mustangs Josh Sanders he took kids from six year olds to 16 and out of the 11 kids I think nine got drafted in MLB

dude so it's like there's I just look out and the coaching in Texas is bananas when I was growing up and we all played three sports none of us just played one but even like because I'm sure the fields here are pristine

right yeah dude they were dicey. Like the ball, dirt. Yo, my God, you never knew where the ball was going to jump. And honestly, like, the people who umpired the games were drunk.

Yeah, yeah. No, no one's into it. No. There's barely anybody in the stand. Nobody's putting money into. It's a different animal now. How many kids do you have? I have three kids.

Okay, you only have three. You have three? Total of three. I thought you had five kids. Sometimes it feels like it. And you guys know, and you saw Jacob, He opens for me now.

So great. He's been doing for a while, right? This is kind of, this will be, I think, his fourth year. It's the best time I have ever had on the road. It's the greatest thing in the world. I honestly, as soon as he started touring with me, I actually, I stopped thinking about tickets. I stopped thinking about anything. It's bigger than that, Bubba.

You made it. You made it. It is the absolute dream. I we started in separate hotel rooms and then it was like three months in he was like dude let's just get a yeah what are we doing what are we doing he said let's just hang out bunk up bud i'm doing that with my son my son's a natural cop 14 though it i'm telling you right now it will change the game for you i need some time but you know yes but but it's like it's so good and it's gonna be 70 i'll be 70 and my son'll be 20 it'll be hilarious hey guys what's going on

yeah you're gonna be able to be able to that moon you're gonna be able to You can be opening for a hand. I'm losing my voice. That'd be great. But you're doing it right, man. Forget the ticket sales and all that. Like the experience and the time with your kiddo. Like I told my, and it's the only thing I'm ever present and aware of.

I realize that these times are going to go fast. Yes. So like the last tournament, we're driving there at 6.30 in the morning. I get him a latte for the early games, like drinking black coffee or whatever. And we're driving. I go, I look at all, buddy, you know, this is the best time of my life right now. I said it's the best time my life and I go,

we maybe have four years left of this. We have four years. And he's like, what? I'm like, buddy, you're 10. So when you're 14, you're gonna be in high school. I can't be driving any of the games. I said, I'll be there, but there's no more of this. And by the way, when you're 14,

you won't want me driving you. That's why I told him, I'm like, things are gonna change, bud. Like right now I'm your hero and we spend all this time together. We have four years left of this, bud. So if you strike you, Strike out. Just snow.

Just no. You go from Tiger to daddy's little disappointment. And you don't want to be daddy's little disappointment. Don't fuck this out. Don't fuck up my life. But that's why I love my youngest. He's just getting started so I can redo it with him. Jacob said to me a couple weeks ago, we were driving home.

And he's a guy in his 20s, so he's not too sentimental. But he did stop. We were in red light, and he stopped. And he looked at me, and he goes, I just want you. you to know, this is the best time of my life. Oh, God. You should have gone, this is your response should have been gay. Yeah, I did tell him.

I was like, listen, let's keep the gay shit. Don't get gay on me. That's crazy. He recognizes it, though, especially at 20. Dude, he and I are, look, I'm still his dad, but we're buddies, man. We're fucking straight up. He fucks with me all the time, which I love. I've started eating sardines.

Oh, wow. And he, and I, to torture him, I eat him in the hotel room, you know. And I'll just leave them to can by his pillow. Is he single? Yes. Is that weird? Like, it'd be weird. Like, me and tea are closer, but I can't imagine talking to me about chicks.

Well, here's the thing. There's a fine line, right? So we do a 10. Yeah. Well, I know, but I'm saying when he's 20. We do him talking to him like, dad, this chick the other. The only thing we don't talk about. That's it.

That's what we don't talk about. Yeah. Somebody asked, we do a Q&A, right? And somebody asked him, do you guys talk about it? do you guys talk to each other about sex? Great question. And he said, are you asking me if I ask him how he fucks my mom? And the people were like, good point.

I was like, yeah, we don't talk about. Next question. That's the one thing we're going to, but, dude, we talk about everything. You know, when I put him in, I don't know if I had to put him into sober living. No, I'm aware. And, but I felt so privileged, dude, for him to feel so comfortable with me to just, just text me and be like, hey, I got some problems. Yeah.

Because if we weren't close. You did your job, Josh. Yeah, that's how you know you're doing it, right? You did your job. He was open enough where he's not scared or embarrassed. Everybody in this room, everybody's room will never have regrets. We will, you know, I think the biggest sin a father can commit is leaving and not being there for his kids.

Yeah. And you never get over it as a kid. And it is, to me, I lose all respect for any man. if you have to live in a different, I live in a different state than my 14 year old, my 17 year old, but there's not a day that goes by that I'm not facetiming with them. There's not a day that goes by where I'm not planning to go and see them.

No matter what you've got to do to be in your children's lives so that they know that they're the most important thing to you, it's all that matters. And when I see people who are not like that, you know, I just, and I understand, you know, sometimes you have to work and you're gone, but you have to be in your children's lives, man.

And all of us here have, like, we'll never have that. But for Jacob to be that comfortable with you, I mean, you're doing, doing this job. So I'm saying, you've done your job. You're doing it right. I appreciate that. I'm going to tell you what gave me perspective. You know, I had kids before anybody. Yeah.

So when I remember, I would go to auditions, literally with him in a baby Bjorn, and I would do my audition. Dude, you were legendary for that. Like, you were the guy, you were the comic with all. And I thought it was five kids. The stories, you know, people add shit. You got five kids. You see, I was like, what the fuck? You know, we were a couple of fuck around Charlie's, right?

You know, all of us were. Josh's responsibilities. Oh, Josh had responsibilities having to be home raising kids. I was like. That was the perspective. When I drove home from the audition, everybody else I knew, thought about the audition. You were single dad. Yeah.

So they thought about it all day. What did I do wrong? I can't wait for my age. As soon as I left that audition, I didn't have time for it. I didn't have time for it. I didn't even think about it because I had other more important things to do. What was your routine as a single dad there? You'd wake up, get them ready for school.

Yep, I woke up. How old were they when mom left? I'll call it 6, 4 and 1 and 1. That's very hard. Thick of it. 6.4 and 1⁄2. But also you had to explain to your children what was going on. Well, she had been around less and less.

Yeah. So it was easier. It was your transition. Was it like cold turkey? No, no. It was easier. and she had been around, but I had been doing it essentially anyways.

Yeah. You know, and I would go, dude. You know, places like the improv and a laugh factory and the comedy store were all so kind to me because they knew. I was like, I have to bring my three kids. And at the improv, just one of the staff would sit with them and they'd eat ice cream and I'd go on stage and I would always ask them, first, I'd just need first.

Let me go up first. I didn't end comedy store. I mean, Joey watched them, but probably not. Joey Diaz? Yeah. Joey was their babysitter.

No. I did not know that. That's not. I've never enjoyed his baby. That is so awesome. Like cock suckers. Joey was their babysit. He was probably great.

Oh my God. Can I tell you? So he used to. Joey Diaz was, Joey Diaz babysit your children. Go. He would, you know when you spell words around kids?

Yeah. So I asked him one, we were at my daughter's birthday party. I go, hey dude, where's the C-A-N-D-Y? And he goes, I put it in the D-R-A-W.

And I go, D-R-A-W. I go, what is it? He goes, D-R-A-W. I go, I don't know what that is. He says,

it's in the draw. It's not how you spell it. He goes, yeah, but that's how I say it. I go, yeah, but you got to spell it. We all got to be together on how you spell it. Dude,

you know, Joey has a baby girl. I think she's 12 or 13 now. Yeah, she's being in softball. She's in softball. So me and me and her at the companion, we're talking about, we're talking about like the crazy parents

and the dads. He goes, oh, fuck, I just, he goes, I fucking, I take my,

my edibles and I fucking zone out, man, I zone out. He was, and he has the other parents doing edibles with them. Just watching their kids, like,

just zoned out. But imagine having Joey is a baseball dad with you. No. The, fucking. But back then, Joey was also 3.50? Yeah, big boy. He's much thinner now.

Yeah, he's healthier now. But he was three, and he would just, he was, as long as I made turkey burgers, he was like, I will babysit for turkey burgers. But he babies have for turkey burgers. Dude, how have your wife write this script? Oh, a comic trying to make it with three fucking kids. Uncle Joey Diaz is the babysitter? Think about that script, dude. That TV show was.

bought twice. I'm sure. It was bought twice when I was younger. That would crush. The problem was, one of the big notes in the network was, can we tone down the Joey character? I'm like, no. Do you want a hit or not?

Town down the Joey character. Yeah, they were like, you want him to tone down stand up? Watch what he does to a room. Oh, I've always said, if you want to see a room get 15 minutes of Joe Diaz in the OR, shatter. Fuck you. Or the main room. Main room.

Yeah. But it's like, you know, full house, there's Uncle Joey. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. This is him on edibles. My God. It would crush. You like full house?

This crushes. They kept saying, it doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem real. I'm like, he doesn't. Yeah. I agree. I'll bring him in. I'll bring it down.

I'll sit with him for three minutes and he will. And you're in. You're going to love him. Do you remember at the comedy store? And I forget it was if it was either his dick or his nuts. But he and Ron Jeremy had, like a, they, like, showed their nuts on stage to, to, like, have a nut off. No, I do not remember that.

Oh, my God. I'm an artist, so I don't do that kind of stuff. He used to wear the jeans with no, with a rip right here. Right. So he would call it the Cuban, the Cuban egg roll slips up, you know? And I'm like, yeah, but on stage, just, we stop doing that. But he, legit, oh, my God. And Ron Jeremy died.

What? Yeah. I thought he went to jail. In prison, though, right? He was being, no, he was found to be, he had such bad dementia that he couldn't stand trial. But he was accused by like some crazy number of women. The idea that that dude was a, I mean, dick aside, a porn star. He was the hedgehog of porn.

They called him the, let me say it again, they called him the hedgehog of porn. God. Imagine the high school him being like, I'd be the biggest porn star ever like, good luck with that. I would see him at the connoisseur and run the other way, man. Oh, he's not dead. He, right? Oh. Declining health?

This is 2023, though. Dude, he got into stand-up for a little while. I believe he's dead. I think he passed away. I'm almost positive. Or, I mean... No, he's 73. No, he's alive, yeah.

What? Do you think in jail people ask to see his dick? A hundred percent. Don't you think? He's not in jail. Wasn't he in jail? Yeah, he was in jail for a while. Was he?

Yeah. Ryan's way off on all this. He was in jail. It's no longer in jail. Wow. But he was, and there's a picture of him in the mask, and he just looks atrocious. I think I'd be the first thing, too. I'd be like, I'd just need to see you.

What's up, man? I got four to seven years. Let me see that dick. Yeah, I don't get to see too many new things in here. Let's take a look. Man, I've been a fan for a while. Do you mind? Can you just hit it on the table?

I'll give you a pack of smokes if you get that cock out for me. How many ramen do you need? You mind if I watch the lady boy suck you off, man? I'll give you two packs smokes. Yeah. No, I got to tell you, man. People have asked me a lot about why would you let Joey babysit. But my thing with babysitting was always this.

I would rather, he loved my kids. So sure, they heard fuck or whatever. But he's a good person. He's a good dude. He loved my kids. And if shit went down, I knew he was going to care more than a $15 an hour babysitter. You know? Isn't that crazy?

That's what's funny about that. Some people. you would never have a man babysit your children but if it was Joey Diaz you'd be like I trust him which is counterintuitive I know we lived in this building where there was a drug dealer on every

three floors drug dealer on every floor and in Hollywood this was back when you remember the Denny's on sunset near that guitar center where there used to be hookers walking up and down

so it was a banana's place do you ever go back to L.A.? I do. Do you do the store and stuff still? When I go back, I don't generally perform there. No, my brothers live there. My parents just move there. I haven't performed the last five times I've gone.

I get plenty of stage time. You're good. And I'm going to tell you something for real. And I love, the thing I do miss is chopping it up in back. Yeah, that was the best. I miss that. But I want to chop. That's not there anymore, though.

I want to chop it up. I don't want to talk about how many views. I don't want to I just want to talk to my friends Yeah Yeah And L.A And I understand it

Because we all live there When you step out of there You go oh you're always Comparing yourself Or you're always like one Right and I That's hard not to out there though Because you're a rat

That's literally That's like the label of success It's how the machine keeps going Correct You never get the carrot You're like oh I got this But you know what's really gonna make me happy If I get this

Although Although, you know, there are a lot of actors now who are literally going to Sacramento and saying, you guys are making it impossible for us to live in Los Angeles because nothing is shot here anymore. It's so expensive. So they're trying to get tax. Yeah, they've ran Hollywood out. Yeah. It's hard of the movie.

Why shooting in New Orleans? Yeah. That makes sense. Everybody shoots everywhere else but Los Angeles. And Los Angeles was chosen as the hub because the weather was predictable. Yeah. So you never had to worry about rain or anything. You could just predict and it was always perfect.

No, the business is. The whole infrastructure there. They made it impossible for the business. Way to go, New Zealand. Yeah. Way to go, guys. It's just, it's Sacramento in general. But way to go. Way to go. All of these. The thing you're known for best has left. Yeah. It's in Atlanta. And we'll just print money to get ourselves out of the problem, you know. It's a bummer.

It's sad for the below the line people. It's not just below the line people. Because they're like, I can't, I definitely can't. You can't even be a dentist and a doctor and buy a house nowadays. Like houses are insane. In the, in the valley, imagine me in a college here. Imagine being like, starting a new family. You're like 28, 29, maybe 30. You're not even... The average house price in the valley is a million, two?

Yeah. What? That is exactly right. And nobody can afford that. In Woodland Hills is 1.1 million dollars. The average median house. What are you going to do? Woodland Hills used to be, when we first got there,

if you wanted to buy a big fucking place for zero dollars, you would go out to... And so you go to Sacramento without making it political about Republican or Democratic. But anytime you have a majority of like of it's all blue. It's all Democrats. It's all socialists. And all they want to do is keep taxing. And what happens like in New York, Amy Clovichar. Amy Clobuchar. Amy Klobuchar goes, yeah, she goes, get on a bus and get out of here. Cool. And they did. And now she's saying, hey, we don't have a tax base to pay anything. What a surprise, Amy. You made an impossible for anybody that works and produces to make do business there. What you want is you want to, you want to like make incentives to people, create start business. is so you can hire people. But my thing is, I think they did us a solid, because if things are getting it's so bad there, I would have never left.

And then you're in the rat race. Yeah. Then when I get out here, I'm like, oh, fuck. You would have never done this amount of time with baseball. Never. I couldn't. No. I couldn't.

No. There's no way. I couldn't. What I do love, but Vegas is, is very split. It's a very purple place. Yes. And because it's so purple. I like that.

That's a good thing. Yeah. Nobody talks about it. Balance. There's zero. I'm just asking for balance, man. I'd love a purple. The purple is great.

I think they all suck. So purple, cool. Yeah. You don't want one way or the other. The other thing, the great thing about Vegas is there's no real rules. It's true. It's like, but, but medicine is terrible. Is it?

People with money fly other places for important things. The cops in Vegas don't fuck around though, right? Not down on the strip, dude. Yeah. There's no. They don't, there's no fuck about. No, there's no fuck about. But I, you know, I got really sick at the last year.

I lost like 30 pounds. What? I was on the infectious disease floor for like six days. What? What happened? I had these two bacterial gut infections at the same time. The CDC fucking called me, dude. They called me and they, and they were like, hey, we need to know where one of these bacteria came from.

Because if it's in Nevada, we need to close a lot of places down. And she said, This was crazy. She said to me, she said, I'm going to ask you a question. I need a real answer. I said, okay. She said, have you been in contact with a goat? And I was like, come again?

Yeah, I was like, are you asking me if I fuck Tom Brady? I would, you know? Is that an offer? You know? She's like, sir, we're being serious. She really asked you if you came in contact with a goat. In contact with a goat. You fuck goats.

That's what I asked. The answer is I used a condom and it's not your business. This is what I said to. I couldn't help being a I'm a I said to her so are you asking me for in a nice way

if I had sex with a goat and she said did you? And I said no this is hilarious but if I did I'm wearing a condom

I'm not raw dog and a goat like I'm not an animal I'm not an animal I'm a gentleman you lead it toward water it's going to back up naturally yeah in. It was fucking crazy. But it was, but when I, so there's a bacteria you can catch from a goat.

From a goat. I had that and then I had also. There you go. Which is why the Bible says don't have sex with animals. Wait, but how did you get it? So at petting zoo. I had sex with a goat. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't sex. It blew me. Oh, petting zoo. Petting zoo. I was at a farm in New Mexico. Wow. And there's not a lot of purell at the farm. It's not a petting zoo. And they said some of the goats carry this bacteria. And I also had this thing called C. diff, which was, man, I lost 15 pounds in seven days. What is C diff? C diff is a bacteria in your gut. How did you get that? Um, it's why I don't do meat and greets with everybody anymore. Wow. It is like, antibiotic is it can only get from fucking dolphins. We're like, what the fuck is going on here? So three times a day for over two days is a low end. It says watery

diarrhea three times a day for over two days. It's hard to explain the amount of shit that was coming out of my body. You ever seen what cholera looks like? You ever seen? Oh, chin. Wait, but how did you get rid of this? So I ended up in the, because it caused, the two of them caused a partial ilias in my colon. What's an ilias? It's like a paralysis. And so when I went, the doctor was like, hey, video. You're like, this is what causes sepsis. so drive to the hospital right now he said because if you get sepsis to your house

yeah you could die my friend's sister died of that recently he was like you need to have sepsis while you're already in the hospital so I went there six days dude and I was 30 pounds off of this my brother was I posted a picture online

and my brother called me right away he was hey dude I go hey and he goes how you doing you look you don't look great you're looking kind of Auschwitzie and I said yeah yeah it's not bad I was like It's not good. Yeah, he was like, take that picture down, by the way.

Yeah, get it down. Yeah, that's not a good one. Damn, so you were in some serious shit for me. Yeah, it took me, I bet you. So after I get out of the hospital, I don't think I was back to normal. Probably two months. Jesus. Probably two months.

But point of the story, my people were like, are you going to go to a hospital here in Nevada? I would fly. They were like, fly to Los Angeles. Yeah, see, that's the one. I mean, the hospitals in Austin are really good, but the best healthcare is Los Angeles. Yeah. Like all the, like there's people from all around. Ced or Sinai and shit.

They fly to L.A. Because the healthcare. Go to YouTube, Jen. Bring up a cholera patient and take a look at what happens when you are, you have cholera, which used to be. How do you get cholera? So cholera is a bacteria, and I believe you get it from dirty water. No children. Just there's a, there's a video.

of a person's ass and there's shit flying out of it, but it's a water hose. Why did you see this video? Because you guys need to see it. But none of us had this. Wait, what's that? Oh, cool, Josh, you had this crazy infection. Dude, I'm going to one up you.

I never had it. Don't know anybody who had it. Check this out. Yeah, well, cholera was a major problem. Wait, what is that thing? What's that? I don't know. Sanitation.

Is that a cholera, serious disease. can strike. Caused by the bacterium vibrio cholera Yeah. A person made in cholera by drinking water for eating food that's been tainted

by the cholera bacteria. Dude is so bad. People would, you die of, you basically die of dehydration. This is so, C diff, cholera can spread like wildfire.

People over the age of 70, 75, so like pretty soon for you. Yes. They die. Yeah, they die. Jesus. They die. So it's like,

the guy who in the back, in the hospital who cleaned my bathroom, I felt so bad, I felt so bad for him. By the third day, he walked in and he goes, how's it looking in there? I was like, I wouldn't want to go in there, dude.

I'd give it five. Days. I would not. Come back on Friday. It's not good. It was not good. I've been unlucky. I've been super lucky because I don't get sick very often.

But I seemed like I had meningitis. I had this C-diff shit. I've had some things. things that took me down. My friend got an amoeba. We were in Venice and we were all doing the raw food diet. Oh. And there was the raw food market.

And so we were drinking green juice and eating raw meat and doing all that bullshit raw milk. And my friend, he's well-known actor. He goes, no, I got an amoeba, dude. And he was. What does that mean? Done. Same thing. You just shit like beyond, you know.

Lose weight, though. My abs like the good. Yeah. That would be a shred bill. God, you can't. All those things that you can get in the wild. Like, there's a reason that we have sanitation and what a huge, huge development that was

for human health and longevity. Sanitation and nutrition and then vaccines. Those three are, we don't have the problems that usually most of the world did forever. Well, there's a reason that when you poop, it goes underwater and shoots a long way away from you. Yes. Because that's why, dude,

if I'm walking into a port of pot, it's the biggest emergency of all time oh my god all time at those baseball fields it's your only decision it's hot oh my god so some teenage kid comes out and I go in there it's just a pile of shit and like that is they'll shit anywhere the planes boys planes are bad too planes are fucking bad planes can be bad people but I'll know too like when it's an early morning game we leave at six because I take my creet team like pre-workout before we hit the road. I'm like, this creatine's going to hit in about an hour.

I'm going to use that porter potty, but at least it's early. Creatine does that too? Yeah, it makes you shit. Yeah, I take so much. How much do you take? 20 grams. Why do you take so much? What I do.

I think, hey, 20 grams. See if that does something to your kidneys. I think it's supposed to increase your, it'd be good for your brain. Yeah, it's good for your brain. Yeah, apparently, though, I mean, you're bigger, but apparently the 5 to 10 milligrams is good for your brain, but then when you take more, it can be a little bit to see what it says. I don't know if I'm right about this.

It only does if you're not taken. If you're not taken damage. No. While high unnecessary doses, 20 grams day for extended periods can put extra stress in the kidneys. Yeah. Stress on the kidneys, yeah.

Yeah, so just be a little bit careful. I mean, 20. I've been doing it for 10 years all the once. Do you cycle it? I'm not a giant pussy. I also drink a lot. Hey, grandpa. Hey, boomer.

Hey, boomer. I'm not a boomer. Yeah, you are. not that old actually. Take it easy. I'm not a boomer. You're Gen X. I'm Gen X. Are you on the cusp? But I'm 59. Yeah. I'm a boomer. It's just boomer takes. What are you, what are you, how are you feeling about 60? I think about it every 15 minutes. And I, and I, and I, yesterday, I was, I was full on wrestling and doing takedowns. You know who's the best about getting older and, like, ticket sales? Jim Norton. You ever talk about it? No. He's so great. He's like,

I peaked in 2017. It is what it is. Yeah. And he goes, the club managers were like, man, it's weird. You didn't sell out. He's like, the curtain's up. He's like, yeah, the curtain's up. He's like, but there's like, I'm going to stop you there, brother.

It's not the rodeo. It's not the rodeo. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. I got it, man.

I got it. That's right. Happened to me. I was in. Jim's the best. Have you been to the club in Alpharet of Georgia? I have, and I like it. I love it.

I had great shows there. Me too. I had one show that was light, and they were, like, going through all these reasons. They were like, you know, it could be, could be. I'm like, it could just be that nobody wanted to come to the show. I mean, it's all good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you don't have to do this.

Yeah, I've had those talks. That's the WMBAs in town. And they're fucking, they're playing at seven. Your shows at seven. I'm like, oh, you think there's a correlation. We have the same fan base? Oh, gotcha. Yeah.

You don't have to do this. I'm a big nose in Houston. They go, the first, every other show is great, but the first show, was light and I go oof this can be he goes no no no listen rodeos in town Luke Luke Luke whatever his name is right he's playing at the the stadium I'm like that's not my fan base yeah and that's not an excuse 10 million people here yeah I just rodeo I'm like this is a disaster remember we went to Alabama you like I called Brian I'm like how's it looking it was a little light man but the manager said there's a gymnastics tournament in town

And you were kind of buying, I go, buddy, but buddy, it's just light. Okay, it's just light. We got to swallow this pill. Was it Birmingham? It was Huntsville. It's Huntsville. Oh, I love that club, dude. Yeah.

That's a great show since. Yeah, but you remember that? Oh, yeah. I had no idea that NASA was in Huntsville. Yeah, yeah. And so the first time I was there, there was a table, and I wasn't expecting to see Indians and Asian. I wasn't expecting to see those.

You're thinking south, southern. Now, now, now there is some Alabama. Oh, for sure. And I had a table full of Alabama. And I said, I did this joke. I go, I'm not going to make a difference in life. Like my zero emissions engine sucks. Trying to get protons to stick to a helium mysotrope is like pulling teeth.

The electrons are like, I'm going here and the protons. And anyway, sorry, that's a physics joke. You people aren't educated. And usually blah, and this woman goes, speak for yourself, motherfucker. I'm educated. Just this real Southern girl. She took that shit serious. I was like, whoa.

Hey, you missed my ironic joke. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Define ironic. So what was the last time you did hunting? It's been a minute. To your point, though, the South, if you make fun of them for being dumb, like, call Theo von Dumb. Yeah, yeah.

No, it's a problem. You know how like you, people call me dumb. Okay. Call Theo von Dumb. Yeah. Because in the South, that's been a thing like, oh, you're just dumb redneck. Buddy, call Theo, redneck or dumb? Yeah.

It's like, Marty McFly, call him chicken. You're like, whoa. Whoa. Good reference, dude. brother? Yeah. Old school. Remember that?

Did you give a movie reference you thought he and I would get it? I knew you would get it. He's still like, is that Matrix? No, that would be back to the future. Yeah. But for, yeah, if you call, like, Theo's proper south, call Theo dumb. Because we used to do King and sing and roast each other. And then, you know, I was making fun for being dumb and all this stuff.

And if I have to show, he's like, hey, motherfucker, quit calling me dumb, man. Really? Yeah. And I was like, oh, I didn't know what he's triggering for it. He's like, yeah, man. Or like, I call him a redneck. he's like that's the that's the Marty

McFly chicken don't call me redneck shit yeah I was like on my bat well don't call me though I don't like it even but we're insulting each other but I thought we were like roast each other

but we're both though you know yeah there are certain things there's certain triggers yeah what's your thing I never had you know there's something right I'm I um I kind of

I like I know who I am and I but I take it easy no no I I think that I think we don't like being called certain things in front of the world where you have to defend yourself, right? Like, so I think a lack of respect. Yeah. A lack of respect.

If I think you're being serious or you want to really do something, like we fuck around with each other, right? But if I see somebody in there trying to belittle me or they're, they're, they're actually being mean? Yeah. Yeah. And if they're doing it publicly, if they're doing it publicly, or they're, they're, they're a friend, they're insecure and they do that,

then you're like, but I'm not going to say anything. I'm probably just going to, I'm just going to go, hmm. You know what's interesting, dude. I think a lot of being able to figure out, like, when people are serious and joking, I've gotten that from being on stage and talking to the audience. I can, when I'm on stage,

there'll be times where I'll talk to somebody for like a minute. I'm like, hey, get him out of here. You know, yeah. Oh, I just, this is... You're doing a long ago, you can tell. I know right away. I'm like, he has bad intentions. Yeah, this is not the person. Yeah, he's going to be a problem as we keep going. Yeah, but there's some people like, why'd you let that person go? They were drunk.

Yeah. They weren't. I've been doing wrong enough. I know how this ends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For some reason, I have other flaws, you know, and I, but I don't, yeah, but I don't take those. I've never taken certain things personally, even personal insults, and I don't know why. I think part of it is, and that's not a good thing, because sometimes you can, it can be mistaken for just being a pushover.

but I think I have to say that for me I figured out a long time ago that when somebody's insulting you they are having a problem yeah there's something going on oh yeah like I'll see it and I'll go because I'm I'm not I'm not I'm not that I don't when I see it I go something it's almost like you're doing okay what's going on over there with you yeah what's happening but the same thing with kids like tiger's having this I don't know why kids want to pick on tiger but there's this kid in the neighborhood. He's a good kid, but like, you know, he doesn't really have a spore or anything. And Tiger's like, yeah, he's been really mean.

He keeps picking on me. I'm like, all right. My first instinct is violence. By the way, it's not inappropriate. It's not inappropriate. So Tiger's opening up to me and his mom about this. And I go, well, this is simple, buddy. Punch him in the face.

And he'll stop. and you're not getting you in trouble, just suck him in the face, and it's going to stop, because he's doing it to you because he thinks you're going to put up with it. How long is he going to go on? He's like, a few weeks,

and I'm like, you just punch him in the face. Joanna's like, probably not. Hold on. Start with the chest. Then I dial it back. I'm like, that's probably bad advice, his dad. And I said, buddy, but think about, this kid, he's big and athletic,

but his parents haven't put him into sports, so he's probably insecure. And you're this stud, baseball, football player. So he's doing his head until he cried I said I said what you can't do is You can kill him with kindness Like go maybe ask him to play catch And then help him throw the baseball

And you're gonna get his guard down Now if you ask him play baseball and he's still doing the thing Then you beat him about it. But I'll tell you what Punchment's stomach What I've learned early on also And I learned this By with an unfortunate incident

You never know what's happening in that kid's house Yeah You never know what's happening. Yeah, he's not doing this because he's happy with the way thing. See, that's how, that's how I never know. Always approach it. I always, and I don't think that's necessarily always good. That's not always the way, but I've learned that at 40.

I know. It's not always the way. We both have, right? I mean. Now I'm down to fight. Yeah. Now I'm at the point where I'm 40th few. I've done the nice thing.

You always had to be, you always had to eat shit because you're like, well, you know. Always. I'm a big guy here. Oh, especially. But, dude, if you hit somebody, he wouldn't hit him. No, no, no. He wouldn't hit him. He'd go like this. Look, he'd go like this, and he goes like this, he goes around your body, and he'd go like this.

And he'd just bring you in a little bit. Like a boa? And then you'd poo your pants. And he's sick. And one of your ribs are- Your die, really. When your ribs would go, yeah. No, but my thing, like if, let's see I had an issue with a comic when I was, when I was doing stand-up, if I would have that person at the comedy store at the improv or laugh, I'd ever, I'd have you. Yeah. That's, see, that's why we can't have them. So I never did it.

But now I step back, if those people continue to talk. shit. I see on the street and now it's like, what's up, man? The best was watching. What's up, dude? The best was watching. Nobody's talking shit to you. No, not these days. Oh, yeah, they do.

No, not these days. No, no, the best was watching and, oh, I love him. I love Nate Diaz. I love him. But watching you in Gucci boots and Nate calling you a pussy and you going, I have no problem with you, Nate, and you kind of doing this. Trying to be cool. Yeah, trying to be cool.

Dude, what did I text you the other day? And it's still one of my favorite things in, oh, that's right. In what world? I go back and look at that clip every now and then It's so fucking funny to me Come down. No, no, you should let him What do? Volume punch me, motherfucker?

That's the one that fucking killed. Here's my thing with Nate though is like And again, I'm cool. If you want to fight, whatever you want to do, Bubba, I'm down. You're barking up the wrong tree. 250 pounds. I'm on TRT, peptides. I'm a fucking night thing.

Nobody wants that. I don't want that. You don't want that. I don't understand. his issues. He probably just had it. He probably, look, man. I don't understand his issues.

Like my, and if they put us in a room, I'd be like, what's going on, but? Yeah. Like what, is it the Connor McGregor thing where you didn't understand I was doing a bit? Like, my, my job for showtime, the reason they hired me was to convince the public that Connor McGreg had a chance. That doesn't mean I actually believe it. Fighters are sense. It doesn't mean that.

Athletes are sensitive. It doesn't mean I was picking him over you. It has nothing to do with you. So if that's it, you're barking up the wrong. true. Athletes are sensitive. We did a long time ago. When David Ortiz retired, we did a roast

of him. It was like one of the first, right? And I was like, are you sure you want to do this? Because most athletes have asked, say no. And he goes, I don't understand most English. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Okay. I'm not going to understand what they're saying to me, right?

But most, that's why, it's got to be somebody so, like, Brady, he doesn't give a. Even Brady got pissed. He got pissed. Tony Hinchcliff. Yeah, he didn't like it. He was a K motherfucker. Yeah, but the divorce stuff.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a K motherfucker. And you see that. Well, Tom Brady. Tom Brady, like anybody, Tom Brady's very sensitive about everything. He's a sensitive guy. Like, he's just doing that roast.

Like, you looked over at Tony. He was like, be careful, motherfucker. Like, you, that dog kind of came out. He's like, all right, dude. I got to tell you, I'm, here's where I'm at. I don't give a fuck what anybody says to me. I really don't. If you're going to threaten me or if there's going to be some,

if the danger, you're fucking with my wife or my kids, that's different. But it doesn't, but like online, no. At this point in time. But we're more battle tested.

It's like, when it's so much like, all right, there's nothing you can do about it. A lot of people love me. A lot of people hate me. What are you going to, what are you going to do?

Also, also, you don't know me. No. Now, if it was somebody you knew, like your brother or a comic that you knew that you grew, that you were on the road together,

and then you're like, whoa, what the fuck is this? Yeah. that don't know you, it's like, and even then sometimes people are hurt and they're lashing out because you didn't. See, that's my excuse, because there's also, there's, sure, there's some of that. But then some people are, yeah, that. But I'm saying if it's an unknown person that's throwing this hate, people go, well, you don't know what they're going through.

I don't give a fuck. That's just a bad person. I don't take that. I've never taken it seriously. No, no, no, no. Random somebody who doesn't know me? It doesn't, I can't. Sometimes for fun, because I'm the youngest of four boys and I grew up bothering people, right?

if somebody says them online and I know I can like rage bait them, if I have an extra five minutes, I might just because I know they're in their house mad, that kind of gives me a partial hard on. You know what I happened to me in Denver? I didn't tell you. I'm with Mel who is, who works at the comedy. Yeah, she's great.

She's an older woman. And I love her. She's from New York and she's great. And I was in the car and I'm, I was done radio. I'm tired. It's, you know. Doing more than radio. Yeah, and Rick and Kathy, awesome.

Yeah, love that. Oh, I love them. Yeah, the best. We talked about you. And all of a sudden, I just hear, boom, this, like, I thought we hit something or, I don't know, somebody ran in, and it was a guy who hit the window. And he was kind of a stocky, working class kind of guy, probably in his 40s. And I went, what the fuck like that?

And I guess he said she hit him, his car, which she didn't. He was trying to touch him. She got close, maybe? No, he was parked, and she said. said when he backed up, you backed up, you hit my truck. And we didn't. I would have felt it, but maybe we touched it. Boom, he hits it.

And I fucking got out of the truck. Did you say anything? Yeah, I go, what the fuck? It was so good. I go, what the fuck are you talking about? I go, what the fuck are you? I didn't touch, nobody touched your fucking car. I wasn't being fucking drive.

And now I'm in his face like this. And I'm like, I'm going to fight this guy in the snow. Because I, you know, my temper. I saw red, okay? and then I realize he doesn't want to fight because he can see that he's kind of in the wrong and I'm mad and also I should have said

you're talking about a 75 year old woman here you fuck son of a bitch I didn't do that but I was so confused so we end up I walk him like he's backing up I'm walking him towards car and we're stand there shouting and then I think he realized hey we're both men of a certain age

there's no upside here there's no damage on your truck he's an idiot somebody's going to pull muscle he's an idiot somebody's going to pull a muscle. You for sure. I don't want to fight.

It's snowing. And I'm, and I'm, it's morning and nobody wants to do this. He's kind of tough too. He's gonna, I'm gonna have my hands full. He works with his hands.

He works with his hands. Probably a brick layer or something like that. So I'm, I'm, it's already like, it's already like, what the fuck are we doing? And then he just,

he goes, yeah, whatever, man. And he gets back and I go, and I go, yeah. And yeah, and I said, yeah, and I said, yeah, you're fucking, I'm getting back in my truck. And something like that.

And he goes, and he goes, you don't even know, it's not even a truck. And I was like, SUV, whatever, I don't kill a fuck. That's what, yeah. That's how we ended it. And he got to, we both felt like idiots. But he felt like a bigger idiot, and he should have. That was so inappropriate. I can't imagine, because I drive with Jacob, and he's got that young man anger on the road.

Yeah, like, getting mad at people. No, don't do that. I know. It's not worth. Steve Burns like that. Steve Burns always down the fight. I'm like, Steve, I love you so much. He's always down to fight.

But you're not a fighter. Steve, you're not a fight. I love Steve. He's ready to go. That's why he got his jaw broken by that Armenian guy. He'll beat up. Yeah, he goes, we want to ride. The guy's like, in a minute, smoking like that.

Apparently, Steve goes, Steve goes, well, what the fuck? And I guess Steve spit. He didn't mean to, but the guy goes, you spit on my car? And he goes, he spit on whatever. And Steve goes, what the fuck? And the guy was obviously an Armenian boxer. Kind of a big guy. And I got, bat, bat, bat, bat.

Two, Buck, it broke, toothed him. Like that, you know, it's like, but yeah. There are guys like that. Steve, when I was living in Nashville, one night got so drunk at my show. He's the best. And by the way, dude, on stage riffing with him. He's so good. By the way, he's a monster comic.

Steve Burns a monster comic. When people say, you know, I hear people talk about crowd work and whatever. I would say mind your own fucking business and let people entertain their crowd. It's not your crowd. So why do you give a fuck? Yeah, who gives fuck? But what Steve does, Steve doesn't have party tricks. Some crowdwork people do the same jokes, right?

Steve's are new. It's legit crowdwork and crushes. Crushes, crushes. He, we had to take him and drop him off in his front. yard drunk and just drop him out of the Uber at one of our shows. He needs a lot of fast food. Oh, he loves fast food. That's right.

Loves McDonald's. Yeah. Loves Waffle House. Yeah, that's fine cuisine for him. No apologies. And can sleep anywhere. And he lives in Nashville?

He lives in Nashville. He lives in Nashville. He moved there before. Yeah, yeah. Most of us, yeah. But he, dude, he's, the, the Nashville over COVID, the comedy at I looked at the house. He was fucking amazing.

Yeah, we considered Nashville. Yeah. Did you? Yeah. Looked it out. It was between Nashville. I like Knoxville even in Franklin. But we looked out there and here.

We looked there. We looked here. We looked Vegas. But Vegas for us was just, man. Who else is in bed? Joe Coy's out there. He went out there for a while. I mean, he's got a place out there.

But he's not like properly out there. He lives on a spaceship. Alonzo Bowden. Oh, is he out there? How's he doing? How's he doing? He's good, man. But he's the same as me.

I'm like, you want to come down on my show on Monday? He's like, dude, it's Monday. I'm not leaving my house. How's he making a living? Is he still doing the road? He tours? He's also, dude. Here's the thing.

He's got a wife and kids. I don't know. There's so many great comics right now. So many. Great. It's hard to go. More than ever. Because nobody's retiring.

Bowdo. Why would I do something different? Yeah. I mean, like, and out with Jay, dude. Dude, have you had any shows recently? with anybody like audience members getting tough or physical?

No. I almost got a fight with the guy and then he ran off. In Calgary. He ran off. Yeah. This is the only first time he was being such a heckling dick

that I... You've almost been in two fights in about a month. I have actually. What? You were on stage? That's my TRT. No, don't blame on Tarty.

It has nothing about it. It's just you're stressed. I'm the same way. But people are dicks. Yeah, but they've always been dicks. What do you stress about? I'm not, I'm fine. I just, I just get a little, yeah, I just get a little, yeah, I, I, yeah, maybe, maybe, but

the guy's being a dick and I was like, hey, shut the fuck up. People have always been dick, yeah. You never, you almost fight the guy from the stage? There was a, there was a moment, and then I saw him between shows and he was walking towards me, and I, and I saw him, and he didn't see me, and I turned around and ran the other way. I bet that guy, so I didn't want to deal with it, because I would have had to have said something, and again, it was outside and cold, and I don't want to fight the cold, also, I don't fight.

Yeah. You know, I was mad then, but I, you know, I, but when you're stressed, it's like, you're just down to, you know, it's like, fuck it. It's very true. What's up, dude? You want to take your anger out on them. That's 100% true. Yeah.

You've got to be aware of it. There was a time when I was going to the worst of my, my shit where I, I promise you, I would have fought anyone right then and there. I mean, I wanted it. I literally wanted it. I was like, if there's a dick out there, I'm going to, I'm going to punch them immediately. You say some dick? A dick.

Oh, good. You're gonna go on dick, dick slapping? What? What? You're gonna- There's a dick that he suck. I'm your guy. I was so stressed I was looking for a cock.

It just popped out. Yeah. No pun intended. Wait, do you, have you always been of the guy who wants to fight? No, I don't fight. I'm not that guy. I've never been that guy. I'll avoid it at all.

I get mad immediately and then I don't hold on to it at all. Like, I'll talk a big game and literally, while I'm talking the big game, like with this guy, I don't want to do this. Like, I come to my senses immediately. No, no, I don't really have an anger. My whole joke is like, man, dude, when I was younger, no, I wasn't crazy. Yeah. No, I wasn't.

I was always sensible. That's why I'm not in jail or dead or anything that's over. Because I would always be like, I don't want to do this. Yeah, but I think when you've been stressed out and then you just want to put all the anger into that. Yeah, yeah. You're more apt to do something out. Irrational. Yeah.

So for me, stress ends up with drugs. Oh, it does? Not fighting. What kind of drugs? Currently? Not like, my drugs, like, my drugs, like, I'm. I take mushrooms and smoke weed and, you know, acid every now and then some ketamine. But besides that, I'm sober.

Yeah. But I take three grams of mushrooms before I go on stage on Friday night. You take three grams? Before a lot. Wait, wait, wait. But three grams is a serious dose. Yeah. So before my Friday.

How are you able to do it so long? Friday night late show. So this Friday, tomorrow night, tomorrow night, every Friday night, every Friday night, I take three grams of mushrooms and I go on stage. and it's amazing. It's the fucking best time. People are like, do they have a good time? I'm like, I don't, I don't know.

I had a great. I had a great. I was crushing as far as I know. There was one time. And did your kiddo do it too? He doesn't. There was one, he takes care of me. He's the, he's the D.D.

There was one time on stage. It was actually at Cap City where I was up there and it was towards the end of the show and I was pretty high. And I was, I kept talking to Jacob. And then I turned around. I was like, dude, you know what I'm saying? He hadn't been on stage in like a half hour. Yeah. And the audience-

Do you ever find yourself staring at something for too long? Oh, yeah. And last week, when I moved my head, people's faces kind of moved with me. Three grams is a lot. Oh, it was pretty, but, but dude. You were done mushrooms, B? Oh, you would love those.

Maybe a microdose a long time ago. Probably ever do them? Oh, I've done seven grams of mushrooms. He did, he did, they called what they called the God dose? Hero trip. It didn't go well. He was butt naked on the ground in a fetal position yelling out some obscene words. Yeah.

And farting non-stop. Yeah, it was a nightmare. I had to be rescued by my wife. He went to some retreat. He was at a ceremony with people who bring their own pillows. It was not, it didn't go well. It was outside. Wait, wait, wait.

And we can't say the word he was saying, but it's hilarious. I don't know. Apparently I was, I was screaming lots of things that are absolutely inappropriate. Why were you naked? I don't remember any of it. No, I wasn't naked. I was, I was farting very loud and hard, though. and I was, I thought I was in hell

and I was trying to get somebody's attention. I was trying to get somebody to pay attention to me to get me out of hell so I was saying the most outrageous stuff because nobody was listening to me and then I was asking for a manager because I was in hell and I needed to speak to a manager to get out

because I hit a portal. It was a dentist. It was a fucking disaster. Were you a mushroom taker? So to go from none to seven is crazy. I've taken. But you asked for it, remember? Yeah, well, I was, I was,

I was, I took three grams. I was in Mother Earth's, Mother Earth's vagina. It was incredible. I, I was talking to a genie. It was great. And then they invited me

to partake in more medicine and I took four grams. Those people didn't take care of you. It went very bad. That's a huge jump, dude. I don't remember any of it. When I tell you, I don't remember any of it.

But didn't you do it to like, be kind of? My friend told me what happened. My other friend ran away. He took off. Hell yeah. High on mushrooms? Yeah, my friend,

my friend freaked me out because he freaked out And so we have to get out of here now and he was pulling me to my feet and I was like, ah! And I went crazy. I was also going through shit. It was bad.

But didn't you do it to like, I was in a bad state of mind. That's not a time to take mushrooms. I was in a bad state of mind. If your mind is in hell, that's where you're triple. If your mind's in hell, yeah. And my mind was not good.

Yeah, I, I, I, I, mushrooms for me are my absolute favorite. And the next day I'm fine. And I feel like, No hangover. No hangover, but I also feel like calm and like at peace. after I take mushrooms.

And being on stage doing it, and a lot of times I'll just take, I'll be like, let's see where this goes. You guys ask me some questions. Interesting. And let's see what happens. As long as you're having fun, though. Oh, my God, dude.

Oh, I got an update for you. I went to the dentist yesterday. It's a horror show. Because I go, I'm terrified of the dentist. My wife forced me to go. So I go, the guy was, his son plays 11 you. He's like, bro, what's up? Mustang's like, oh, this is cool.

This is going. We know each other. And then I go, I'll be honest with you, man, if you get out that silver little hook, I'm leaving. He goes, we don't need to do that with technology. We can just do x-rays and all the stuff. I can tell you what's wrong with your teeth just from all the pictures we take. Cool, say less. They do all the pictures.

And then he's in there with like his assistant. And he's like, L1 disaster, 17 cracked, 14 cracked, 16 cracked, 18 cracked, 18 cracked. All my, the back ones are literally cracked in half. Because when I lift, I grind my teeth. Damn. Or I'm lifting hard. I grind my teeth. He's like, well, we got to, you got to wear a mouthpiece when he left.

I'm like, that ain't happening. Yeah. He's like, well, we got to figure it out, man. But he's like, so here's the thing. It's only going to get worse. And you have an overbite. I'm like, buddy, I'm 43. Yeah.

Don't go fuck by an overbite. Yeah. It is what it is at this point. But he was like, but the crack teeth is your issue. That's going to get really, really bad for you. And painful. That's what he said, he goes, because I'm in pain now all the time. He's like, it's going to get way worse.

He's like, so my recommendation is you come back, we're going to put you asleep. And he goes, and I'll knock it all out in about an hour. And then you'll be good to go for a long time. Wow. What's he going to do for you? I got to get crowns. It's a, oh, buddy. Just so you know, when whoever drives home from there, if they ask you personal questions, you'll answer them.

Yeah, I know. So be very careful about who's driving you home. I know. I might have to drive you home. You better go pick them up. Yeah. For real. Yeah.

Because you're just going to be. Yeah, I don't need that. Yeah. So they're going to get an anesthesiologist. It's supposed to call today on schedule appointment. He's like, yeah, I'll be done about hour or two and not get all that. Real. It's going to be more than an hour, by the way.

Yes. But he's probably telling me an hour. It could be six hours. Yeah. It's going to be a manual process. Once he gets in there, he's going to go, ooh. Yeah. What are they going to do with the credit?

Is they going to replace them? Well, they got to probably pick them. Yeah. So you're going to have to grind your teeth down and then cap them. I hate the, I don't mind the sound of the drill. It's the smell of the hurting tooth. I fucking hate all of it. Boys, I got to run.

We've been near two hours. But I love this. You've been a hot second. Let's wrap it up. Brother, you're going to be at Cap City. Yeah, Cap City, man. Well, we love you, man. I love seeing you guys.

I want to let you know how happy I am for both you. It's great to see you It's great to see you You're still one of the funniest dudes man I know I reach out to you every now and then Because we're around the same age You're still doing it But I love watching your clips and shit dude

Thank you brother I do very much The TRT boys With a TRT boys I'm telling you the boy band is not the worst idea It's not the worst idea Which one of us is the dancer I'm the sexy one

He's probably the dancer I'm just like the hype man I'm the dancer I can dance You're the puff? Come on come on Take that, take that. Yeah.

Josh Wolf, everybody. We love you, brother. You're the absolute best. You're at Cap Cities. This weekend. Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy Club, that's the residency. They're the Comedy Bar in Toronto. I'm all over the place.

You're all over, dude. Well, we love you, man. Thanks for having me. Guys, come see me up for a Vermont, California, April 10 and 11. I will. All right, kids. Oh, go watch my new TV show on Tubey. Your heads Gone Wild.

It's available now, all four episodes. Hit it, Chin. This is the final kid. We're out, but watch this video. I hate terrorist and electric car Why you're trying to go so fast? 10,000 horsepower That's the BFD there

That's it BFD stands for Bigfoot's dick Cam Shown Super rare portion Maybe you overbuilt the trans a little bit If you're gonna party You can't be blowing trains We're gonna see if we can make

Brand new shop shit his pants I think that car's going to head them harder than we can probably hit other people. Oh, wow. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. You swear? If I'm mine, I'm dying. This is the mindset. Free.

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