The Fighter & The Kid - Sorry, You Gotta Go | TFATK Ep. 910

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

Brendan Schaub shows Bryan Callen how to do the submission Holly Holm tapped to and the guys talk Shohei Ohtani trade talks, Bryan bumping into his old girlfriend, Brendan's family trip to Knotts Berry Farm, Troy Aikman's body at 56, current events around the world and much more! DraftKings - Promo Code: Fighter Chime - https://chime.com/fighter House Of Macadamias - For a limited time, Fighter and the Kid listeners a free box of 45% macadamia snack bars - one of each flavor - when you visit houseofmacadamias.com/tfak plus 20% off your entire order with code TFAK

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All right, guys, I want to, first of all, I'm a little out of breath right now. And not because me and Brennan were wrestling and not because Brennan complimented my ass by comparing it to Holly home. You jumped on me like a spider-monger. She's got a fantastic lower body. And when somebody compares my body to that body,

I'm gonna- You got aroused and jump me, dude. I jumped you, but I'm more out of breath because you're talking about, you just described a porn scene that got me all kinds of hot and bothered. I don't approve. See, it's possible to not approve of a porn scene.

It's possible to not approve of a situation, and still get hot and bothered. That's a devil talking. Yeah. That's the devil. And sometimes the devil is somebody you gotta learn got to learn. How do you ignore?

Well, yeah, I don't want a backstory to my pornos. Like I don't need a... No. No. I don't need an MTV's on-plugged. No. No, no, no, no. I fast forward to a long list.

I'll take a highlight reel, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, just give me the nitty gritty. That's right. Now, what gets you going is... Big cannon, number one. Big cannon. You need a big cannon. And one that's bigger than yours, just so you can see it that? Big cannon, number one. Big cannon. Need a big cannon? And what?

That's a big cannon. And you were just so you can see what a liar your girl is. You're like, oh, you're acting like my can. My piece is gonna do the same thing that that cannon's gonna do. But I happen to know that that cannon is, well, they're professionals. You know what?

They're guys that are, like, they're pro athletes. They're professional. That's what they do. And I ain't one of them. And that what? They're guys that are like they're pro athletes. They're a professional That's what they do and I ain't one of them. No, that's the truth And that's okay, but I don't watch them being a I'm similar like that when I watch our boy put it down Like he just has a talent. This is guy giving talent I was giving a compliment and now I'm a straight man, but unless there's a big old cannon. I like it Well, I had I like it. I was giving a compliment. It was two females I don't like it. Well, I had to, I had to like it.

I was giving it a compliment. If it's two females, they're scissoring. Does nothing for me. Nothing, nothing at all. I might as well watch Planet Earth. I'll go right to sleep. If it's two females, dude, I will pass that so fast. I know, some guys are into it.

I need, I need, no straight guy. I need a guy who's way more muscular. That's weird, no straight guy. Dude, if there's not a wiener of a, you pay, bro. Here's what I need, here's what I need. I need a guy who's got a better body than me preferably darker skin a much bigger cannon tattoos and a girl who you know Probably is similar to what my girl looks like so I can feel bad on the soft

No, no, I don't like to watch ones that look like my girl. Oh really? No, and there's a lot that look like my girl Yeah, like in the porn world big ass big tittitty small waist. I like to mix it up. Okay Like to mix it up. I like to mix it up. I like the the male female Yin Yang thing. That's two got to have that. That's number one. I had a compliment them an old girl friend the female on female No, I got have you ever had a compliment from an old girlfriend where you went? I was talking to an old old girlfriend, old girlfriend. She reached out to you, you ran into it. By accident, uh, talking about her, her kid, her son. Oh, you ran through at that friend convention. We had a great talk. We had a great talk. And she said, uh, something to the effect of you, uh, she complimented my, my, uh, Dickey?

No, my, my quietest skills. You're what? My, my, my, my, uh, my, uh, tonguey, my tongue skills. Oh, with that, with that mouth down. Yeah, she, with that mouth down. She said, she said, uh, uh, nobody better.

And she said, and you would make me laugh a lot. And she used it. And I said, I said, I need you laughing, come a lot. She goes, yeah, so of course I liked you. Yeah. And I went and that's a joke I make. That's a, I said, while doing it, you laugh and come a lot. She goes, yeah, so of course I liked you. Yeah. And I went, and that's a joke I make. That's a joke I have in my stand. I read them and I was like,

you know what? And she goes, so it made total sense. And then I looked at her and I got volunteer. I go, my thick game isn't bad. She goes, not at all. But she didn't, I had to. I had to do that. She had better.

I could have let it go. She had better. There you go. She had better. We're comfortable. She didn't bring it up. Aggressive. You There you go. She had better. We're comfortable. She didn't bring it up. Aggressive.

You're at like Ralph? And she went, what that mouth do daddy? You went, well, Amy, so good to see you. It's very funny. You said it because it was in Ralph's. It was in Home Depot aisle. Oh, even Saturn. Yeah.

Saturn. Right? Hey, hey, hey. Hey, what do you, hey. I haven't seen him in 25 years. This is my project. You can't let it Home Depot. Oh, I don't know anything. No, you don is my project. Can I have a Home Depot?

Oh, I don't know anything. No, you don't know nothing. Oh, we mean, hey, oh, because I kinda know my way around Home Depot. A little bit, but I know nothing. I'm a little bit of a hand-in-it, you. If you said to me, go get a washer for the sink, I'd be like, oh, you don't know what you're doing. What?

Dude, that is, dude, Home Depot. For the real, bro. The real dude. My father-in-law. That's some daddy shit. My father-in-law, my ex-wife, my father-in- bro, the real dude. My father and I, that's some daddy shit. My father and I, my ex-wife, my father and I, knew I had to fix everything. Yeah.

I went to Home Depot one time and he goes, go ahead and get one of the washers and we'll get a thing and I'm like, oh, and he goes, you don't know what that is, do you? I go, I don't. Oh, when you watch Home Depot, you might as well have a rainbow across your chest. It's not for you.

And I fake my, I fake my way in Home Depot. My excuse, I go, I grew up overseas, he goes, no, you grew up rich. I was like, I didn't have that much money. I had enough money, so we couldn't call anybody. Yes, you had to do it. You had money. Yeah, my dad took me to a place called Builder Square.

And it was just like Home Depot, but like the mom and pop shop, so we'd go there every weekend. So I know my way around a little bit. My following mom, Mr. Handyman, we walk in there. I don't think I'm gay. So I'll go, oh, you get the paint buckets and I'll go find the washers and I just ask somebody. You got it. I'm like in time. I don't know where it's at. You have an apron on, sir. I don't know anything.

My father, my father grew up with no money and he grew up having to do all that shit So now my dad if you ask him to do I mean anything bro if you say can you screw in that light bulb for real He won't do it because it reminds of him when he was really poor So he has it he has an emotional block my mother goes I can't get him to screw in a light bulb because it reminds of him when he had to he had to work Construct back in the day he had to do he had it he was a jackhammer guy because it was bigger Yeah, so he had to do that real meanly manual labor. He's a do it. He won't do any of it. I like He's like, no, no, I'll pay you motherfucker. I'll pay you. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I'm gonna do it on my long. Yeah Do I want to not spray your farm with the fam this weekend? Just on just on a whim with Sunday

You won't be stuck in the house all day with the kiddos. These kids are nuts. I don't mind. So you gotta get that, no. It's not sparing, it might be the best part because it's not woke Disney and it's not packed. Disney's so packed, it's annoying now. That's so expensive. Unless you do VIP, which is, it costs all the dollars. I mean, each person be, no, 500, that's hilarious. I know.

No, for the fast pass, it's a nightmare. So Disney's been a nightmare in their wokes. I stay away from it. Universal's packed because they have Mario World and, you know, they're VIPs pretty expensive. But then, uh, great dad. Oh, dude, dude. You see all the red? Here's why you fell in love with Joanna. And here's why Joanna is my favorite. You're trying to tips on this? No, that was before I was, I was, I was always one of the sets. That's the attention. Well, it's just be clear here. That's actually not why you fell in love with me. No, there's tons of that. I remember what happened.

She, when she saw my children, my wife at the time said, look at how she looks at these kids. Look at the way she, look at how she's so connected to those kids. I said to you, look, that woman, that's wifey right there. Look at how great she is with the kids.

And she had class. Yeah, yeah. We all class, you know? I'm knowing that really makes it less classy. Yeah. But look at Boston. I don't know why he's throwing up the hangloose, but that's new for him. Oh, look at that, too. He's all with the thing.

How old is he now? He's three. How well do they get along? Oh, dude. I mean, I admire him. Like, they get along. They share a room together. Is your son 18 or 19? How old is he? He's 22. He's Dominican.

He's got her on us. Get a baseball 100% Dominican. Yeah, I think. Yeah. But so they want it, you know, they want the toys there and stuff. And I was going to wait to the end, wait to then. And then walking through and some guy recognized me, he goes, come on, job. You crush this game. I was like, I'm always pretty good at carnival games. It's the one where you hit. And he goes, you just gotta get over 100 and he can win any toy. I said, well, I'm gonna need two. He goes, get over 100 and you can get it.

Do I crut? I hit 140 the first time and 122 the second. Oh, you're dead. Boom! We got hit right in the middle. Got those two damn toys. I said that. Yeah, but you're still a piece of shit, dude.

Boom! That's better, but you're a, you know what? You annoy the shit out of me. You're on band-band? No, because you're not, no, because you didn't do it right. You could have done better. You could have done better. Yeah, you're on the positive, man.

No, but you know what the promise is. You gotta go. You go there, you go there? Yeah. No toys for the kids. Oh, I know this. I go there, I go there. I go there. I go there, they go.

You can't come back, you know what? I have leverage, bro. You know how like Denny can't gamble and Vegas? Yeah. I can't gamble and Vegas? Yeah. I can't play games that carnival. No, I'm black ball dudes, for reals. They went, do not come back. They said you can play the rides,

you can't play the carnival game. I need to get a phone hands. You did it the last one. You slide your hand down so you get more torque and then bring it down. I don't need to do that. That's for you, simple tens. And I just went, cool, bam, bam.

Gugush, give me the toy. I need one for the younger one. Give me the toy. Give me the toy. I said, oh, that me the toy. Nine-need one for the young one. Give that, gugush, give me the toy. And I said, oh, that's a basketball, and the rims small and the ball's bigger. Say less. Swish, next. You don't have to touch.

Swish, you don't have to touch it. Hit the first one. I know, you have to. That's how we won the third time. Baseball, let me say that ball. Then you go, shink, like a otonic. Well, no, I throw as fast as you and hard. No, you know that, right?

Because we played dodgeball remember? Hey, you go to carnival. You go to carnival? throw as fast as you and hard You know that right? No, no. Because we played dodge ball, remember that? Hey, you go to carnival? Yeah. You go to carnival? Kids get no toys, sat day for that, right? No, no, no. They're all dead of a pussy, you know those way around home depot? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that. Yeah. Uh, Oh, Tony, what do you think of this whole situation? Oh, Tony,

just playing baseball, right? He's really the best effort. Right? Oh, Tony? Yep. That kid ethnicity is he? Huh? What is this? Tony? Yeah. Japanese. Splash of it. Yeah. Yeah, got some. He's got some position. Does he play? Sure, stone. No, no, he used to play it. No, what's he play now? Yes. What's he play now? Second base. Nope. No, he used to play it. Nope. What's he play now? What's he play now?

Second base. Nope. Where? Which one are you talking about? Otoni? Yeah, the whole round leader. Outfield. Nope.

Catcher. Nope. He's a pitcher, dude. Yeah. He did. He pitches. He's the best pitcher in baseball. Then he's also the best hitter.

What? And I don't know this is. I'm not saying anything like it. He might be the best player at the... Oh And Gusty Baker who played with Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, he goes, I've never seen anything like it. He might be the best player ever. Oh, this is, he is Japanese. And he's in Korean. Japanese and Korean. Oh, I don't know.

I think he's just Japanese. No, he's a splash of Korean, I thought, right, Jim? I don't know. He might be, I think they Korean but grew up in China. I mean, Japan, that's also, how do you not know this, Jim? I think they aim show time. Is he 100% Japanese? Yeah, I'm from what I'm saying.

Is he played for the Japanese team? Hold on, he might be. Hold on. No, he's Japanese. He's only 29. And he's that good. Yeah, they think he's like the best ever to do it. What? And here's the thing, the angel suck, which is weird, because they have trout too.

The angel suck. And he's gonna be a free agent at the end of the year, and he's gonna pay all the money in the world. All the money. And he knows the way around home people. He's gonna pay all the money in the world. He's not a way around home people. He's gonna pay all the money in the world. He's got a God in Japan, all right? Oh, dude.

He's like a K-pop star in Japan. He what? Because he's good looking, he's tall. He's like a K-pop star in Japan. He's what everyone. He's a God. Yeah, it's Bukaki Tusei, nice, right? Yeah, and he, what makes him so great,

just his insane- Well, think about, there haven't been a guy like him since Babe Ruth. Remember Babe Ruth could throw Uh-huh, and then also hit he can do both don't take that picture though, right? You look ugly there, but don't do that. That's where it's younger. Yeah, don't be in a corner like that Yeah, I don't yeah, he needs us to be like oh, oh, you can't be leaning. Yeah, it's a corner like that He just says his PR team. Yeah, just like that. Just stand there like that. That's what I like stupid there too

Wow, yeah, I don't know man. I hear you go. He's like yeah That's what you go boss got it. Yeah, I don't know, man. But here you go. He's like, yeah. Yeah, so you go, boss got it. There you go. Yeah. But he, yeah, man, he's just, he's like the Babe Ruth, but current, but better, better than Babe. Cause Babe play against all white guys,

so it doesn't count. Yeah. There's no Dominican store in junk, bitch. Right, right? And he's hitting whatever he wants. Whatever, hitting all the home runs. But here's the problem, I'll wrap this up. He's gonna be a free agent at the end of the year,

thinking he paid all the money. So if you're the angels, I don't know when the trading deadline is gonna become soon. If you're the angels, he's leaving, because you guys suck all the home depot cocks. He's leaving. So you trade him now and get a bunch of money and picks, or you think you have a shot and ride out through the season

and he's your best player, and then you know He's got it then a free agency. You can't sign them. So once you just trade them now so you can get some some value But what's a great picture? The best picture in the league and he's best hitter in the league He's he's Babe Ruth, but on steroids in Japanese. I'm not saying he's on steroids So one thing about Japanese is that they're they're work ethic and their practice like the book of five rings No, shit samurai shit. Yep, the same right. Suzuki. and they're practiced. Like the book of five rings. No shit.

Samurai shit. Yup, the Samurai shit. Suzuki, he was his name, Suzuki, the guy who was phenomenal. He had a room in his house where he would only practice swing. He practiced his swing over and over again. Let's take a little break. Let's take a little break, dude, because you may not think

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Good looking dude. Each hero. Each hero. Each hero. Dude, fuck each hero. Think about Master Splinter. What he did with five teenage turtles. All right. Yes.

And think what he did with them? Yes. You're right. There he is. Each hero. Oh yeah, each hero was great. Man, if you went to the mayor's. I mean, he's tiny.

You went to the, he's one of the greatest centers of all time. If you went to the mayor'sers that south was or the North Pacific Dude Because the All-String game with their his he had the biggest applause because think about so much Asian up there If you went to the Giants we set the rumors fillies because fillies have the most like money and draft picks And so how does he will go like that? You know, it's in me the biggest contract Because he knows how to manage that that pressure to right is Japanese That Japanese, yeah, no, slater. Yeah, there's a huge part like the difference in getting there and staying there

You know some guys have trouble staying there. Yeah, like they choke in the regular in the in the playoffs No, he's a baller wasn't that the knock on Alex would read guys no Alex was good No, I'm not you compared to daregator was the problem. Yeah, because they said that during the playoffs it wouldn't perform the way. And that's where you get your value. Charles Barkley talked to us in Shaq. He said they should wait to get MVP to the end of the year, don't do in regular season. Because if you're a key player, your number should go up 5, 10, 15 points when you get to the playoffs.

Because that's when it counts. That's when the team needs you more. That's when the Kobe would go off, Shaq would go off bar all the greats get better when the pressure is on That's crazy and then some guys don't like Kyle Murray who won come back play the year the SPs shout to Pat McVew Crush It hosting it but Murray won Jamal sorry Jamal Murray won to come back play the year for the nuggets He he's decent in the regular season, playouts game, and he's a superstar.

That's what you want. That's what you pay those guys. Yes, he just steps up. Yeah, but look, this can be interesting to see what happens though, Tony. All I watch is baseball now, because my son, all we watch is baseball. I like quarterback was really cool.

I told you watch quarterback, you know, understand, because how great the key that I wanted you to see, paid man's an exact producer on it and he goes I might be biased but quarterback is the toughest position all professional sports. I agree with that. He goes because the ball you get the ball every single play the focus is on you every single play. Target on your back.

The number of regia to make just before the snap after the snap. No, it's insane. It's not only is it insane but like watching what I think that the secret to Kansas chiefs Patrick Mahomes thing is of course athleticism and free stuff, but he's loving he loves the game He's it's almost like it's a game to him. He's playing pick up You know baseball was this thing. He's a baseball god. Yeah, Alex Rodriguez is godfather Alex when he was in high school goes going the draft you got drafty get you that draft, he goes, go in the draft, forget football. Now, Alex goes, thank God, you didn't listen to me.

I think he's the best to ever do it, even now. We never seen anything like it. Here's my caveat with that. So it follows three quarterbacks. It follows Patrick Holmes. Patrick Mahomes, it follows the- Markers Marietta. Marietta for the Atlanta Falcons. That it follows Home homeboy the white nerdy guy who actually love so nerdy

But such a so so in a so it's a regular guy and like really sentimental He had a great quote because he gets a lot of hate. What's his name? He's for the on the Vikings quarterback for the Vikings I'm starter Kirk cousins Kirk cousins so he he's the opposite of the he's the opposite of the of like patch my homes He's not showy, but he just wins and so he's that minister in there. They're damn good last year But he gets a lot of hate and then nowhere ever puts them in the top 10 But he always puts up numbers and he goes my grandma always said the best thing to me. She goes I they could see me walk on water and they say it's because you can't walk as a marker that your marker that you said

She was the premier of England. She said I Could be what I could walk on water and my haters would say, it's because I can't swim. Yeah, and that's a great quote. I'm gonna steal that now. That quote, I'm not gonna mind of me that. Yeah, yeah, but he said that he's like, it's a great quote for me,

and that's the way he deals with it. He's on social media and stuff. He drives a van. So you know Margaret Thatcher, you know Margaret Thatcher was the conservative prime minister of England. When England had a long run of liberal, the Labor Party had taken over and then the Tories took over and she was the prime minister and they said she put the great back in Great

Britain. She brought the economy back and everything. Yep. But the Ronald Reagan of England. But yeah, so Kurt,us it's just a it's a real difference and I would say this I Patch with homes comes off as kind of like a frat bro a little bit because his mom bra I think the part is a game them but everything's well bra this and like even his trash talk It's sometimes I don't want to see all that now. It's made me more fan of Kurt Cusins even though

We're complete opposite. He's under like fashion or a car or shoe. All he cares about is football. Like his wife dressed some of these nerdy, Eddie Bauer outfits. He ain't got a flying fuck about anything. Just cause he's such a good family man. So I love, that show made me more of a fan of his. The passenger homes, I'm like,

I still love him, but it didn't make me the better. But something that's really interesting is that, there's a guy named David Foster Wallace wrote a book, wrote an essay called, he drives that van, but I's really interesting. David Foster Wallace wrote an essay called, he drives that van, but I know. Insane as that. What's his name? David Foster Wallace wrote an essay called, How Tracy Awesome Broke My Heart.

Tracy Awesome was 14 years old and won Wimmelton. You watched Wimmelton yesterday, 14. And then she did an interview and he was expecting to hear stuff and he said a Lot of times they need to study on all the physical geniuses all the big-time winners And when you see like really big-time winners like someone like Patrick Mahomes part of what makes them so big and good They're about just that. Yeah, they're not they're not they're not gonna they they simplify the process So even when all the heat is on like in in sports science, they look that their heart rates

and stuff, some of the greatest of all time, no matter like Derek's cheater, they were just playing ball, and it didn't matter. Their heart rate doesn't go up. Yeah, they were just playing ball. They keep everything simple. That's what Kurt Cutten said. They go, you know, we about like the way you dress you

is, one less thing you have to worry about, all you care about is football. You're like, God, dog, damn. And that's, and the pressure, the pressure. You are, I don't think anybody can understand that pressure unless you've been there. You know, how does it all start in quarterback in the NFL?

32 positions. But isn't it the same in college almost? Like, isn't it, isn't it? When you're starting quarterback in college and those big colleges with those stadiums, it's crazy pressure, right? Crazy pressure, but you're not playing against the very elite where,

like you saw in that game, if you watched the, either the second first episode with Mirroda, like he fumbles us, it's third and one, and he fumbles a snap and they were gonna knee and win the game, NFL, there's zero room for error. So they go, cool, get the ball, kick the game when field goal use, mother fuck. That, that's margin ofivare so small in NFL.

College is a way bigger margin. Yes. You make mistakes and recover. You're such a good athlete. Everyone's as athletic as you are in the NFL. What the one fucking air your screwed, man. It's fascinating. Ain't it good? Yes.

Yes. And you believe they don't show back to my home's brother. You see I accused that sexual assault. I bet he was more involved than I cut it, cut it, cut it. He's a moron too. moron. Take talk and he like they have video he grabs this lady in the bar the owner and his force is tongue down her mouth. She like puts some way and keeps doing it to get charged with it. It'll go away but it's just a bad look for patching my homes. His brother really. Unbelievable.

But that shows good. He's yeah, he's got, and he's been dating that girl. I think he's known that girl since seventh grade or something. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. Fifth grade, I don't know what it is.

That's a nice school sweetheart. Keeping it simple. Wife, kids, bad age. Yeah, no five. I know. I know. But it's about football, though. Throw a touch on it.

It's not about getting your takes out. Well, it's something, you know, listen. Can you imagine being a young man in Miami I'm not saying I'm just saying football but it would be there are some distractions and passing homes went to Miami to play the Miami dolphins thing but I'm I'm well let me ask you this I wonder if Dan who's the quarterback for Miami forever I'm getting old dammarino dammarino he didn't get laid at all bring up dammarino when he was young

all from pithburg with that with that long here he didn't girls and we get that afro yeah girls and like him he wasn't he wasn't bigger than average greatest quarterback to never win his his eyes were blue and he didn't have that yet girls didn't like it all to me troikman wasn't slaying not only football back in the day troikman at Oklahoma The girls didn't like it. Oh, tell me Troy Ackman wasn't slaying in not only footballs back in the day. Troy Binnout, Oklahoma. I'm sorry, UCLA. Well, we know because he got caught

with that tweet when he thought that was a way that was a while ago, but he knows a dime piece girlfriend. Oh, he knows. Troy Ackman. Troy Ackman was a stud. Do you ever see Troy with his shirt off when he was young?

He still has? No, he's Jack. He's Jack. He's Jack now. That's him right now. Let's just give him a two week to go. That's him now. That's him right now. Let's give out two weeks ago. That's him now. That's him right now. Come on some Dimes. He's just suck it on him. Yeah, a man. So hands fingers this long spider hands spider super stud

Intense That's him now. Oh look. There's a picture of you and me on the beach. There we are. There we are. Is that his dad? It's Jimmy Johnson, you piece of shit. Oh, that's shit. Only great scouts of all time. Still handsome.

No trichments of time, dude. Look at him, you still got abs. What are you talking about? No, I'm with you, man. I said he's a time. But Jimmy Johnson doesn't. But I mean, the trichment is how old now? 50?

That's impressive. Big jaw. Big jaw. Big hand. 56. He's 50. Come on. Probably should get all the quenakis.

How about that, right? That would make sense. He's from West Covina. I was just there. You were just there, Bob. I would have done a fucking tribute to him. Oh no. Troy Eggman's from West Covina. How do they not have a road name after Troy Akman?

How's the laugh acting I call Troy Akman's laugh actor and now he's a single guy? Two kids well nice girl now. This is does Jordan are they two girls? He's got a girl. Let me see his girl. You talking about his daughter? No, no lay low for a girlfriend Girl you time on his daughter. No, lay low for little girlfriend. Oh His girlfriend's crashing it. She was in the picture. They brought up. Yeah, we don't look at his kids And it's weird. I thought he wanted to see his kids Girl friend. Oh man. I know. Read the room, bro What she do Just I'd take care of that yeah, just generally impossibly hot

Decides to take care of that yeah, just done generally impossibly hot For it yeah, but I want to see pictures so I don't care that much. I thought you wouldn't see what she does No, we don't need an article Instagram's private Cell director cool. Okay, we'll look at there. She is great mustache Yeah, oh you bet your sweet ass. She's gorgeous. Yeah, it's Troy. Dude, you think he's hanging out with water? Yeah, quarterbacks, quarterbacks dude, just fine.

He's awesome. He's living it, dude. Look at him. He looks fantastic. Oh, how jealous of him. Somebody said, you look good. I don't look good at all. I look like, look at him.

He's same, he's what I wanna be. It's not fair. It's just not fair. Yeah, they're crushy. Good looking couple. He's got the blue shirt, brings out his blue eyes. Big John. Got him. Yeah. Got to be about your size, Bob. Oh, yeah. He might be. Dude, he might be six three. Is he six four? Maybe taller than that. She's 34 by the way. He's seven feet tall. Very similar to you, Brian. What's that? He's 56.. She's 34 by the way. All very some of you Brian. What's that he's 56 his girls 34 There you go. So many similarities six four six four all all six four two. Yeah, it's a big kid Here's my favorite screw up. Damn. He played at West, go Vina high

Not so's man How did then I have a street name that from Brennan will be in West, Kovina and Kovina next year in one year so get your tickets Probably or would do you and me there I thought we should do. It's a great club 100% I'll text them after this It's such a good club. Let's do it Yeah, I'll shout to Troy. I mean, I would have to be happy to do that. Do that sooner than later. Yeah, be an easy one to do Easy to do, but I'm glad you got into quarterback. They'll give you a little Yeah He's it to do, buddy. I'm glad you got it in the quarterback though. Give you a little. Yeah. Yeah, and I didn't realize how bad,

how many hits they take. I didn't realize that. Games different now though. They don't take us many of these too. Still getting a win knockout. I'm still getting pushed to the ground. So, good. Good.

Good. Good. Good. Good. One time it's so much safer now. It's because I'm on the ground. And he's like, ah, ah, he had to win that guy. And that giant dude is just, he's just kind of sitting like this looking off

like that. Then he goes, you'll be all right. The task him gets it. Yeah. Yeah. No, thanks. Yeah. I want to, it's, I'm surprised Patrick Holmes gave him all that access. Tell me about the best player in the NFL is that he can follow me around. We've never seen that. Yeah, that's true. No one does that. You got two cams following you all the time. All times. And then you forget they're there actually after a while. You seem pretty good. Or not.

But I'm sure they have all rights to it. So how many episodes are I'm only through two? I don't know how many episodes is it, Jen? What's it called again? Quarterback on Netflix. I need a new show to watch, man. I finished Game of Thrones for the third time. Yeah, I watched Ted Lasso first season

I did something I just can't I can't get into the sill I don't want silly show. I like murder like mystery horror Take part. You know what I did see it's too much not too much. I like nuts Dude listen, I have people like stand up if like stand up, come to the blue room this weekend in the... Springfield. Springfield, the 100-year-old Willie's gonna perform with you. But people wonder why my skin looks the way it does.

They wonder why I have energy all day long. Does some of it have to do with the fact that I eat macadamia and nuts every day? I don't know, but I eat macadamia and that's every day, and I know that the rarest, not the most expensive, but how some macadamia makes it's every day. And I know that the rarest, not the most expensive, but house of macadamia makes it very possible and affordable for me to do so. Well, you tell me the house of macadamia

is have made macadamia nuts, not just for the elite rich. Dude, not only that. How, dude. Not only that, but it's so expensive. It doesn't have as many carbs as cashews or almonds, okay? They say they have the best fat profile. But how do they get the price so low

that I can eat them in a row? Because they work with 90 plus farmers. They're vertically integrated, you idiot. Any more dumb questions? How about I slap you in the mouth? Yeah, but tell you what, how about I put a bunch of McAdamia nuts in your mouth and then I slap your mouth for good measure?

Okay, can I, if you do it, can you put them covered in chocolate? Yes, I'll put them in chocolate. You take a slap to the mouth with chocolate. I'll take a chocolatey slap to the mouth with chocolate. I'll take a chocolatey, slat. White chocolate you want, you want milk chocolate. What do you want?

I got everything. Dude, I want a creamy nut butter. Nut butter is so good, man. Dude, you got, if you have a macadamia bar, I'm gonna freak out, dude. You make 45% macadamia snack bars. I got macadamia nut, I go. But are they filled with all sorts of sugar?

Virgin macadamia oil, which I only co-pins now. Yeah, but it sounds tasty, but they're filled with all sorts of sugar. go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, We're gifting a free box of 45% of the minute. So in other words, the snack bars have 45% pure macadamia nut. One of each flavor, when you visit houseofmacadamias.com slash T F A K house of macadamias.com slash T F K plus plus we're gonna give you 20% of your entire order. What do you say to close F A K? I'm a nut clause. Man, you a nut clause. I'm a nut on you. I'm a say? I'm a nut clause man. You a nut clause. I'm a nut on you. I'm a nut. I'm a nut. Who? You what?

Yeah. Yeah. No, with my macadamia. Oh, okay. I'll make a ring. I'm gonna make a ring on your face. Okay. Just throw a bunch of nuts in my mouth. You know, but you know, it's a bunch of nuts. I know. So when we went away to find out, I don't want to do that. It's so creepy. Not too creepy. You know, I did see four is good. I saw killer robots

on Netflix. No, I'm out. Oh, dude, I like AI. So this scared me though, because these two scientists said, let's put in Chad Gbt or AI Let's see if they can come up with different concoctions for chemical weapons and The artificial I think Chad Dbt or I came up with 40,000 40,000 different chemical weapons and They all worked and the White House got a hold of it and the White House brought them to their thing It said hey, what do we do about this? And they were like we don't know anybody can access this well

They are accessing it and now there's a race. There's an AI race and And they tried to have a global pause they were like listen if we don't have a clue on said you're gonna have autonomous robots that don't need a human to kill and by the way There's already this AI arms race because the AI is going to crush anybody who's not right so America and China We're like and Russia. We're like no, we're not doing that because I don't trust you that's that's that's why Elon and Federman we're like can we put a pause paul in this and as i could we would think about the book

but the criminals at the dark side that stop i'm not sure you think that they're gonna stop the no also also uh... with uh... gene editing what where you can mess with viruses and stuff that's like no we're fine i i think that's all scared what do you do about it nothing did well you know you know you know what I thought about? What? If AI can come up with ways to create it, AI can also come up ways to neutralize it and destroy it. So like, I have this thought that I wonder if it just becomes this battle within AI, where it's like fighting. It's good. Yeah.

Evil. Yeah. But then it's like, if you keep extrapolating, it's a race. It's a race. So even computers have a race of good and evil. Yeah. But it's all based off who's controlling it. Yeah, but like, I don't know, it's hard not to think about in an spiritual dimension.

Like, it's hard not to think that who, what is going on? Like, what are we creating? Our own gods, our own gods our own our own Distruction god yeah gods all knowing right that's AI. Yeah, and and then where's it go? Have every mess with chat to be to your AI? I have did you type in should I wear sandals with jeans? What did they? Have you done that it said flip flops if they're very expensive. Is okay. Are okay? If it's, if, if, if my God says something different. Really? Yeah.

It, it said that you're a little too lazy to put, to, to kind of put your foot in a prison and choose to feel like a prison lately. Yeah. And why were pants? Are they making you mad a little bit? No, my chat, but GB said, didn't say anything. I didn't. Okay.

It said if you had a gay pride event, fire away, were said didn't say anything. Oh, didn't okay It said it if you're at a gay pride event fire away where your sandals Yeah, and all other situations especially airport and studio. I don't do it in air. I don't wear air ports No, no, no, thank you. No airports. That's chat GBD I said am I gay if I watch a girl on girl porn? It said absolutely so again. Okay, my god's different Yeah, your gods are different and your chat GPT will tell you different things Huh interesting all right did chat. What is that? I think about having those those laces on top of the other laces to make sure everything is okay Yeah, my chat GPT I typed that in and said lit really really because

You need those laces to keep the other laces climbing getting crazy. No, it's climb rope. Oh, so if you were driving I take that out So in other words you're in case your feet your shoes fly off your feet No, I could just when I like let's say someone came in right out on laces. Huh kill you They're called mission possible. Oh, so you can go wrote something. Yeah. Yeah, huh kill you Oh, okay, I don't know do you throw it over them. Yeah, I guess I'm tired. I'm up Point is I need a new show I started watching American Horror Story for the third time season one good I think it's the greatest TV series of all time 11 seasons dude and they're all fucking five American horror short The first season was unbelievable. Oh, dude. I never saw it after that. Oh really? There's better see that most fans think season one's best. I've seen season one the house is great. The covenant is great. The silence great.

That season two might be the best season. The the cult ones great where it's super um political. This cult leader. He's like super pro Trump. It's so good. That one's great. The last one's great in New York with a gay killer. They're all, to be that long, what's it, Murphy doesn't? The Ryan Murphy's genius. My God. The Ryan Murphy did glee. And Ryan Murphy knows his Syracuse.

If you know Syracuse, like the boy, he puts subtle hints in all of it, like the Richard Ramez, Charles Manhand. Hold on. Did you see who they caught, the New York architect? Did I call it Tay-Bull? Oh, the guy on Long Island? Yeah. He it today? Oh, the guy in Long Island.

Yeah. He looks like. Yeah. He's a giant. Big dude. And he owns a consulting and architecture firm. I remember this. I remember when they knew he called the wife.

You say Gilgo? Gilgo. Yeah, he called the woman he killed. He called her sister and taunted her on a burner phone. Because he's a saint. He had a bunch of burner phones, burning couchs up. He had a bunch of torture porn. burner counting on the cat, right? Yeah, they caught them.

They caught them because they found his here and his sisters and wives here. His wife's here. But they caught and then they saved that DNA from, you know, they're talking about two on four, I think. Okay. And they saved the DNA from that here that they found the scene.

And then they thought he was a suspect. This phabets was eating pizza and left DNA in the pizza. So they cross-pollinated the pizza with the strings of hair. Boom, come. That's FBI for you. But they've been looking for this guy, because this was 10, this is 15 years ago. I remember it.

And they're finding parts of bodies. 10 body part, 10 bodies that they found. But they, they only have him on four right now, but they think it's up to 10. They found like a, a top female toddler. Yeah, it's sad. It's a sad, an Asian man. Well, but they can get up to 10. They found like a, a top female toddler. So it's sad. So it's sad, an Asian male. Most of them all escorts.

Most of them are escorts. Yeah, he's a sadist. They found, you got away with it. Also, you know, no syraculers stop after 50, because they're too old and you know, their bodies. So most of them have 50. He was 51 when they last murdered, they said. Oh.

And they said it's on herd of, a syraculure be older than 51. Really? Yeah. You two old. Hey, I'm gonna fuck around with these ho. You see how big he is compared to everybody. I was like, hold on.

Is he a giant? Basically like John Wayne Gacy. John Wayne Gacy was big too. Bring him up with all the law enforcement guys. Do I'll tell you right now, ain't nobody, ain't nobody compared to Ed Camper. The co-aid killer, six, nine daddy, oh, and had the IQ of Albert Einstein look at his face

Look at the closer look at how big he is there just tower. They said he towered over everybody Just take all that big he is he's they say he's not a camp when I met him his hand was so big But he ate a camper. He's pretty big dude. Ed Kimber six nine, right? That's a big boy three three forty Look at his evil face like look at look at his, look at that. Look at how much, look at him. She's, errrrr. What's weird is he had kids and shit? Oh yeah, family man. Oh yeah, wife.

He would do it when his wife would leave. Six, four, he's more, he's way more than two, 40. So he's six, four, yeah. I can't bear six, eight, six, nine. Oh. That's strange, so you gotta wait with it for a while. Six, eight, eight. But that's how these silly killers get away with it.

Like the BTK killer, like he was at the church. He was a church-goer, family man, so no one suspects it. But the FBI agents, they're retired now. They called this. They said, you guys are looking the wrong place. This is a family man who can blend in so he can get caught. He's doing normal stuff. You gotta look around the neighborhoods because he had a Colorado avalanche.

And one of the pimps where his girl was murdered by this guy, the pimco's, I saw Colorado avalanche, you know, the GMC avalanches, Chevy avalanches. I saw one of those at the, that took the girl away. It's a Chevy avalanche. So that's how they found him. Because he parked his avalanche on the side of the street and like, well, who's is that?

And they started looking into him. But apparently they've been focused on him for like eight weeks until they got the DNA from the crisis. No, they watched him actually since 2022. They've been watching him. They've been studying him and they were collecting DNA evidence from the bottles and stuff. So they go through his trash and get evidence

and then go from there. So I didn't heard of him before this. No, but I remember that I remember thinking this guy is so awful because he was a sadist. I read a book about the worst of the serial killers because he had, they found torture porn on his, honestly. No, but this guy was, like, he called the sister of one of the victims and taunted her. And that's a sadist. That's a guy who gets off on, like putting people through pain.

So I remember thinking, I hope they catch this scumbag. Do you speak in a circular? How about the homegirl from the Charles Manson got out? I know. Newson would always appeal and not let her out. And then she spent 50 years in prison. 53 years in prison. Here's my only caveat with this.

I think she went in when she was 18 or 16. She was 16 or 18. She's a very different person. Yeah. She's a very different person. You got it. You got it. She was the youngest one.

Yeah. She's a different human being. Boy, man, and dude, he, his, his, his brotha women were not tens. Let me, let me go back to those women. Munch two's make a six. We get a little self respect. Well, they were, they Well, they were young.

But on the left of the mustache. I got one on the left of the mustache. And she was actually commit all the murders. Is that what they, those, I don't know. The girl who, so I'll tell you right now, so the girl on the right who got, got out. She never murdered anybody. She was there and she didn't go to the police,

but she did the law Bianca murders and I think it was at Felix. It was at Felix? It was at the Tate House, I think. No, it's not. Kimberly Oxford. No, no, no, there's those, there's those, there's those, he did kill people.

She did it. What she did is after text walked and stabbed the woman, he goes, you gotta do something. So she took a knife and stabbed, she was already dead, stabbed her eight times in the back. She was already dead though. So she never officially murdered anybody, but she did stab a dead body.

But then she admitted saying that she stabbed 16 times in the lower back. And then I went to like the Wikipedia. I'll go back to that please. Yeah, but she was already dead. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. She never killed anybody. Might as well though. I mean, who knows?

Those lobby on cameras are awful, man. Ah, is a wife and husband horrible? And they just went in and killed the husband, the wife heard it and think, it's bad. Bad bad. She stabbed her 16 times and then lower it back. When she was already dead though It looks like she was she was still calling for Harval she was like 18 Yeah Low-speeless that's not even close to where the sheer and Tates and Beverly Hills Jim

You know more about this now. Yeah. Yeah, I got my black belt in the ship about it So where are the other killers I got my black belt in the shit. Too bad about it. So where are the other killers? They're all still in jail? The text Watson, he's in a prison in Texas. He's wrote in several books about it. And the other two, I think are dead. Yeah, the two are dead from cancer.

Almost everyone's died of cancer. Oh, really? Yeah. Charles Wants and died of cancer. The other two women died in prison. She's the only one that's left. Yeah How old is she 70 something? She was 53 years. She went in when she was 16.

Is that 18? 18. Look at that one. She was the youngest one. Oh, she was 19. What a life and now she's a different person. 73. Yeah, you can see her how like she's a different person. The message is to be what you have around the podcast? I don't know. It's very sad. It's the whole thing is sad. Tell me about the most famous murder in American history. Which I don't think it deserves that just because it involves sharing Tate. It's the biggest.

You got you got you got you can't move on unless you forgive after that after all that time. It's like it's over. It's over. It's over. 53 years, long time, it's a lifetime. So, Sharon Tates' sister was on nightline and gave a few talking points here, or gave a few statements. I pray that I was grilling my teeth and every kisser was smiling, every pleasure action. Oh, wow, that's dark.

Yeah, it's terrible, but super dark. It's over, man. She's also 19, you know, that's dark. Yeah, it's terrible, but super dark. It's over, man. She's also 19, you know, and easily influenced. Yes. Man, it's an always pick on the people that had no identity. She's the person that you're seeing, there is a very different person, literally a different person.

Maybe, literally. Maybe. I think so. I think you change. I think, I mean, 73. Yeah, there are no evil people. We don't know, there's some just bad people. I think that's a person who was just so probably dumb and brainwashed and

Listen, I'm a far cry from you on must bat 19 you you couldn't convince me to stab so 19 times And then she wrote into the body and then took blood and wrote pigs on the wall and helped her sculptor Because man said make it witchy is it possible though sometimes that people like gang members who do some terrible shit then they're 45 and they're just a different dude you know there's a lot of that right? You I don't think there's a lot of that. That's what's wrong with prison. No there is. I think you're a different person. Now it comes a murder. I don't think so. If you're able to do something that dark,

I don't know. So it's a model citizen and you know, there's... But one of the things that they say is like the reason we recruit 18-year-olds is because you can get 18-year-olds to believe in a lot of stuff. And the way you get an army to march and kill is not through you get them to, and there's been written about a lot. That's why propaganda is very powerful. You get them to march under symbols and under slogans.

Yeah, meaning. And you teach them that the enemy is, if by killing the enemy, the world's a better place. I mean, that's ISIS. That's ISIS. That's ISIS, all of it. Yeah, all of it. It happened to the Japanese soldiers.

Yeah, Nazis. So young men, young men, yeah, young men do terrible things. And when they get older and they get perspective on the world They go oh my god. I know so I think there's a lot of that and I think that You know when you're 19 and you're and you've had time 53 years to reflect now now a serial killer who was killing a lot of people and got off on it There's no doubt that yeah, there's no good man. They should be killed. Pedophiles, there's no count. Oh, no, you get one. Yeah, if you're 18, you just have to score your last kid.

If you're 53, you can't go out, you're just a kid. No, no, no, no, no. Because that's something that's in them and I agree. To me, you are sick and you didn't get better. You're just waiting, okay? Yeah, I agree. With this kind of stuff, it's like you can see why they let her out. It's like, yeah.

Here's the other thing, she's out, 79. Yeah, 70. You can't do yeah. Here's the other thing, she's out 79. Yeah, you can do shit. What's she gonna do? Let's say she was still that demon and wants to kill people. 79. Well, they let that guy out of chop that woman's arms off. Yes.

And then he raped her. And oh, guess what? He was in the 70s. And guess what? He did it again. Yeah. What a surprise. Guys different, right?

Yeah. I know the whole gender, you know, gender stuff. No, no, no, no. Give me gun. Yeah, give me gun. Yeah, give me gun, you did that crime. I'm gonna shoot you, like I don't want you to be in jail. We just gotta get rid of you. Part of it's DIC-2, because good behavior,

you know you can get out earlier than you're supposed to. So it's like John Wayne Gacy, he was in prison. He went to prison for a less than a young man. He was in prison and he was supposed to do like eight years, but he got out I think in a year or two for good behavior. He knew he'd get out and then do it again. So it's always dicey, it's tough. I want to make that decision.

Dude, if you molest, if you're an adult, then you have engaged in child rape or something. We gotta kill you. You gotta go. You gotta go. Taxpayer shouldn't be paid. Now maybe in 20 years, they'll be able to do something to your brain where you don't remember it. You gotta go. You gotta go. Taxpayers shouldn't be paying. Now maybe in 20 years, they'll be able to do something to your brain

where you don't remember it, and you're not that person anymore, okay? But until then, you gotta go. Yeah, I agree. You gots to go. I was the model I get. I was the model I get. I would go like this, watch.

I'd go, what do you do? You gotta go. You gotta go. There you go. Go ahead and give me, start, start, to tell me what he did, and then just start maybe saying, what we could sense from God watch watch watch watch watch watch. Vinnie stitch on his left.

Yeah, man, yeah, he's just. Gotta go. No, but just hear me out. Vinnie says that he gave him some information to help us out. Give us some time to get up. But did he snitch? Yeah. Gotta go.

Okay, and your nicknames gotta go count. Gotta go, yeah, they call me, we gotta go count. Gotta go count. I gotta go, I gotta go, that's my nickname. Gotta go. They're gonna say, now ifames gotta go count gotta go. Yeah, they call me gotta go I gotta go talk gotta go. That's my nickname gotta go. They're gonna say now if you go to go In court. No, you're the judge and ask me what my name. They're gonna go. They're gonna go now You don't want to go to gotta go count cuz you know you can say you gotta go go to did you have fun breadin? No, you have fun though. Is that what you say before you kill them? No, no, no, whatever they make a mistake Oh, that's terrible. You have fun though. I sure do it. All right. You're not a good officer? No, no, no, no, whatever they're making a mistake. Oh, that's terrible. Do you have fun though? You sure do it.

All right. You're not a good enforcer. No, no, no, do you know what I do? George, listen. What's up? Brandon, you know I love him. He's a Marine. He does what I tell him.

But he's not enforcing the law. And that makes me look bad. And all he keeps asking is, did you have fun though? That's what I have to do. What do you gotta do? It's gotta go. Gotta go, Calon. It's gotta go.

It's gotta go. I'm saying, why did you do that? I'd be more of a fun, my guy. Yeah, now in court, I'm arrested. Now you're the judge, say, did they call you gotta go, Calon? I'll say, sir, we have on record that your nickname was gotta go, Calon. I have a reactive bladder, you wanna?

It's okay. And an explosive diarrhea. I gotta go and react of bladder you want And an explosive diarrhea I gotta go. I live off and muffins and bananas And judge who let me go go. Did you have fun though? I go you know, I kind of did as many people Smoffy enforcers can do it. Talk to Sammy the bull. Sammy the bull is like I nothing had I wouldn't feel anything Shadows brother along the back of the head, yeah. So is your path.

What do you got, kid? All right. The first one I thought was pretty crazy. So kid, his head was decapitated, I saw this and I didn't even look into him. I'm like, what the fuck, that? Yeah, so decapitated as in the spinal, whatever, that bone, the base of the skull to the, your spinal bone, it got detached. But the ligaments, the, that bone, the base of the skull to your spinal bone,

it got detached, but the ligaments, the veins and all that stuff, the blood supply, it was still there, but the head was detached from the kid, because he got hit by a car, and then he got flown into a hospital and the doctors were able to do it. Oh, it says internally decapitated. But inside the neck, the skin, everything was still intact.

Especially your kids flopping over from the bone. Yeah, just located in the head, but he's everything's still intact. Especially your kids flopping over from the bone. Yeah. Just located ahead, but he's perfectly fine now. Oh, thank God. Oh, that's him there. That's him right here in the middle. The two doctors have fixed him. Oh my God, that's impressive.

God, those doctors, Jesus Christ. Little incredible. He's on the left. Jesus Christ. Thank goodness it's that big. My God. Like I said, forget everything. Internally decapitated.

Yeah, and it shows likeally decapitated. Yeah. And it shows like a diagram right here. So just at the base it's separated. Yeah. Well, that's interesting. That's insane. That's insane for Western medicine. They say 75% or more people that this happens to,

they die like before they get to the hospital. Of course. So because the internal bleeding, all the critical. Everything, yeah. Your head's off. Your head's off. critical... Everything, yeah. Your head's off. Your head's off. Your head's off.

Your head fell off. They say cutting your head off is painless. Who says that? Right? Well, the guillotine would come down and cut your head off and... Oh yeah, who'd you interview? The mouth would be...

The mouth of the frayers. Who'd you interview? That's like when they go, shark don't like taste humans. Really? What shark told you that? Yeah. Really? Well, I would imagine it's got to hurt a little bit, That's like when they go sharked on like taste humans really what shark told you that yeah really well I would imagine it's got a hurt a little bit although the brain can live without oxygen for five minutes So you still rolling around look at you might be able to see your body your own body with that medieval times when they cut your head off

And just rolling around look or they the mouth would still be mouthing prayers are saying stuff like oh my god my bike Yeah Interesting What else you got you know when you get choked out you're out are saying stuff like oh my god. So my bike. Yeah. Interesting. What else you got, Jen? But you know when you get choked out, you're out. So when you get your head chopped off, you're probably out. You go right out. You don't know.

It's like getting knocked out. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, hopefully, right? Yeah. I don't think you're gonna go by medieval fucking guilty. No, glad to be out there. Jesus. I don't wanna get my head out.

How about the fuck? Yeah. I mean, the choke out, there's no real pain. It's just like, you know. But that, don't pain, it gets your, no, it gets so fast, like your body can't, I don't know. I don't know.

It's like I was watching this TikTok or Instagram influencer and you know, crazy rush or something. She's like, that's huge. She's like, woo, hang on, car's like woo. No, no, no. Yeah, dude.er, something like that. She was hot and she was like, woo, hang on the car. She's like, woo. No, no, no. Dude, awful way to go. She's all woo, dude. 45 miles an hour.

She's dead. Yeah, yeah, you gotta go. Guy went, you gotta go. It was on TikTok or what? I don't know, one of those things, but it made World Star. I don't say I was TikTok, made World Star. I poor girl.

But also, don't hang out at cars. I didn't know that was gonna tell you, don't do that, big time. Made world stuff. Poor girl. But also don't hang out at cards. 45 miles an hour. I didn't tell you, don't do that, but then you just, boom! Oh, then she's like, yay! Boom! And then it goes back. What a way to die.

Don't for the grand, baby. What is she hit? Who knows? There's much matter. A light post. Oh, well, that's not gonna get. They're not forgiving. They're not, yeah, it's not gonna get you.

A light post, what happened? Yeah, that's it. What was that? yeah, it's not gonna give you. Well, I post what, what happened? Yeah, they're not. What was that? Yeah, you can't stick your fucking head out the window. Her whole body's out too, so it's like a- They can't do that. It's like my friend, we were 60 miles an hour, my idiot friend goes out on the,

he's on the windshield on the highway. He's on the windshield, hold my, ah, we're all laughing. Terminator two, like the guy in Terminator two. It's not good, it's not good. That's not fun. I'm old, should I him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him.

I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him.

I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him.

I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. I'm gonna throw all off him. He never got any shots off? No. Yeah, he got your shots off. He's in his shots off. Then the guy hit a bump and then he blew off. And then the cop even told the cops are following him.

Just get him, I'm fine, I'm fine. But then he had a broken back when he went to the hospital. Yeah, I'm broken back. Yeah. You don't realize, like even going 20 miles an hour and you hit your phone. So if you're in a car and you drive toward a cop, when he tells you to stop,

that's you're allowed to shoot him right in the face. That's a give. I know, I'm sure he could have, have he didn't want to do it we probably didn't want to lose his job you could see the cop being thrown off that's about to case scenario dirt yeah broke his back yeah Carol Iowa yeah the video hasn't just been released in LA. They let him go. You got a shoot him out In LA he got recruited. He's now head of the LAPD. Yeah Jesus Christ. Yeah, I get that's just a good cop. He don't want to take the guy's life Sky was on a drift for two months two months fishing gear with his dog always bring fishing gear last weight though This is a real castaway the castaway

I think he was gone for like years. He said it was just like the castaway and he looked like him too. But this is after two months. Two months. He had a tiny boat too. By the way, you're out of the function. In the middle of the Pacific.

They found them. And that's how big the Pacific is. He survived off of raw fish and rainwater. Him and his dog, they both survived. Raw fish and rainwater, baby. You think that's called him? He thinks he called him. Check out the boat. Apparently he's called him. Check out the boat.

Apparently he's really healthy. That's his boat. Great. That was a beer. He's a little scared. His beard is probably super clean. Least of his words. Yeah.

Bro, we always have, because it's hot out, so we have, you know, we live in the valley. We have the lizards around the pool. There's chillin. Yeah. My son catches one. Cute look and lizard. This thing, I'll give it to him with this thing with cute.

His dad can't keep him, I'll show it wide out. The lizard needs more friends. Let's toss him in. I can't bring it into this. I'll give it to him. Let's toss him in there. Oh, fun. Because he's just gonna die out here

from a bird or the weather. Sure. We'll toss him in there. My big bearity dragon, he's big now. He's sick. He's like this long. I'm like a motherfucker. The big bearity dragon.

What? Who's the new kid? He's your friend. You can toss him in with beer. Big now it's thick he's like this like a motherfucker big the big bearty dragon went Who's a new kid? All right, he's your friend. Oh you toss him in with beer. I toss him in the beardies have three beardies Oh, no the beard he goes who's the new kid? I went that's your friend be nice. He went he got a go Dude my son like look their friends. They're nose to nose. I'm like look they're kissing I'm like look they're kissing. Hulk, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, because polar bears in the zoo go, I'm gonna eat that baby. That's polar bear, right? We're talking about lizards here. Same thing. I didn't know they get down like that. Oh, and then my son goes, they just,

They make the same shit. Then my son goes, maybe it was just that one, they didn't get long. So he catches another one. And we'll see how it goes. Dude, I got the fucking Ted Bundy of beard dragons. No, that was, we taught him in there, he goes, the fuck?

Honk! I'm like, oh, this is insane. He's not lonely. He'll just do it. Oh, no, no, no, he hungry. He's fat. I'll take a picture. He fat So my coin remember how they all got decimated and killed Guess what I think they hit one of them late eggs. Oh, there's a bunch more in there. Just one one Oh, it's one hiding hiding alone smart and our Googleled quite get lonely. So I'm going to buy some more Coil I'm gonna keep stocking it. Do I have my fish? Really a great looking cooler. Yeah, I like a coin You know you could put a well you have to buy a heater at the lot of work for you

But if you heated that bad boy up you could put a big air wand in there When I get raccoons Really oh no they eat monkeys, bro You're called jumping monkey fish. Yeah, but I don't have any small areas. How small? It's just small for that. How small?

What are you talking about here? It's like a little pond, little little. Like the size of this carpet? Yeah. That's good for your wanna? You go back and forth in circles. Yeah. Yeah, don't say.

Yep, don't that out, John. Like, my friend, my friend, once time we got in the pool and my friend goes Scream and jump that was what it's it what is it? And I was like he grew up in the city. You know what it was a baby bunny Yeah, the bottom of the pool. No, it was alive and it was it got stuck You probably a guy and I saved it I go. It's a fucking baby bunny city. So like what is it city slicker city slicker and a half She's got shit point is Don't toss random lizards in with your bearded dude

There's a video on nature's metal where a duck is getting taken out by a Turtle sometimes turtles go me that duck and they do metal where a duck is getting taken out by a turtle. Sometimes turtles go, we're gonna eat that duck and they do. Yeah, they're hungry enough. Yeah, they're hungry enough. Like a snapping turtle? Well horses, there's that video of that horse. You see that video of that horse?

Fucking that dude up. And when I say fucking that dude up, the horse is over him, grabbing it and smout and shaking it and doing it. Well the guy dude though, The guy must've done something. Because what's his... The horse was like, I've had enough of you. Wasn't that donkey?

No, that's a donkey. Donkey's will do that. This is a large horse. I can't think of any more terrifying. And you go, oh my god. Yeah, but it was a guy hitting it and stuff because they just don't attack it. There's something going on.

It might've been a stallion. And it might've tried to fuck it. Not people do that. No, I know what you're at on this. You see Mr. Hands? Well, let look this up. Horse bites. Chin people do that. No, I know you're out on this. You see Mr. Hands? Well, let's look this up. Horse bites. Chin bring up Mr. Hands for more.

Oh, it's a tack man. No. Do you like to watch Mr. Hands once a month? No, this is where the horse is over him and shaking him. Hey, you might want to just go horse attacks man. Hey, you know what's crazy? Is that on that Mr. Hands video? You know the video we watch, really guy goes, oh, no, what's up? Right there, dude. You know what's crazy? Is that on that Mr. Hands video? You know the video we watch,

really guy goes, oh, the horse. Yeah, right there, dude. You know that's not the video that killed him? That's not the horse that killed him. It was after that. What's this? What's it?

Wow, good for the horse, man. Yeah, man, get up on that tree, too. That works as angry. Horses, dude. Yikes. Horses, stupid, man. Well, the stupid, but that thing ain't messing around. You must have hurt the horse try sleeping with it

Maybe Maybe the horse is not inviting me today. What you're not riding me today horses scare me. What are you gonna say? Yeah, I'm saying with Mr. Hands video back to Mr. Hands the video we watch really is That you know that that was just a good time for him that didn't kill him He died after the fact he went back in and they don't have that footage He went back in from yeah around to yeah, no, I think he went to a party didn't get help and then no But that video's not from that that was the time with a horse really no, that was just a good time really yeah news to me dude Good Lord Mr. Hands. I don't know what to say about any of that dude

Real freak. Yeah. What else you got, kid? Um, this, so this, someone found, I guess this is a doctor or a lawyer, something found in an internal memo with the in and out executives. And they say, no we're a mask.

They're saying that it's actually a, it's a mandate. You cannot wear a mask, unless you have a doctor's note. Thank God. But I mean, like, if they want to wear a mask, then we're gonna have to wear a mask. But they said, America. So that's kind of going against, you know, and Chick-fil-A. And if they don't do it, and it's opposite. So it shows the numbers of in and out and Chick-fil-A in and out goes

no mass mass or illegal Chick-fil-A goes, we want mask sales. So they could get terminated if they don't do this. Love it. I don't think it should be able to get fired. I know that's kind of each their own. It is America is America should be whatever they want. Yeah, let me do whatever they want Bomb within an allocate hate hate plusies not everyone needs to wear a mask But they want them to see the smiles and everything so that's the molecular biologist named doctor looking friends. Yeah, let me sense Yeah, unless you have a medical but like hey, we need smiles We don't want this weird creepy mass. They don't reminds people that we're in a dictatorship for a little bit. Man and person, the TSA agents had different airports and totally epic performance.

So it's funny. Keep going, Jen. What else you got? Um, hold on one sec. This one, okay. I was looking into this since July 16th. Oh my god. Yesterday.

So apparently this woman, she saw a toddler on the side of a freeway. She stopped her car and then she suddenly disappeared after that. She called her sister and I think she called 911 as well. Aliens. But then she suddenly got returned home like two days later. And it's always been she- I've known her before he's finished his story. Look at how skeptical my eyes are.

I know. I smell. I smell. Yeah, I smell bullshit. I smell bullshit. So apparently she was distraught, didn't talk. There's no, in the police, we're gonna investigate her after, you know, after she kind of calms down from this thing.

But it's very weird. So the most recent thing I heard so far was there was a sort of a go-fund me type of thing that happened for the missing persons if you can find her and it went up to like $68,000. And her boyfriend said, oh yeah, she was kidnapped, but she hasn't really said she was kidnapped yet. You guys following?

Yeah, sometimes up. Sometimes up. Sometimes definitely up. Yeah, it sounds like a worse involved. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no fun though. Yeah, fun. Yeah, thanks. Wanna have fun? I don't know, I'm, yeah, fun though. Yeah, my legs have been sore. My legs have been sore.

That's all. My legs have been a little sore. I like to tell shitty stories. I got to start a heart, because you said you had to do it. Yeah, she started touching my leg. Fun though. Oh, yeah. Fun though.

Hey, man. This is your big gay friend. Yeah, fun though. You had a big ton. Yeah, second ball is anything. Thank you, ball. Yeah. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Weatherman he was in sort of a fender bender some road rage thing and this guy walks up and by the way It's the other guy's fault. So I just which one's a weatherman the one dressed like a door. Yes Oh the weatherman gets hit he got completely missed this guy looks like Play boy with the guy's where he is. It's with an obscenity in there.

You hit my blank car and I replied, no, you hit my car. Look at this. Whoops! Great. Okay, look at this. What happened? Did that Floyd Mayweather? What do you guys think?

Who's fault here? Who's that fault here? Who's in the car above? The Prius is a guy to hit him Well, it's clearly the Prius is fault, but the guy could have said the guy could have slowed down Driving a Prius. Yeah, what the ponytail he looked kind of Asian too Right with you're here didn't look kind of Asian. He looked Asian. I was Asian, bro. Was he straight up Asian?

Yeah. I said, that's pretty Asian. Muscular, strong looking Asian guy. Boy, did he, boy did he, I'm more, forget, oh yeah, he's Asian. Give me all the felonies you want, but this punch is what I'm wearing about. Oh, that's an Asian.

You missed the meteorologist. And it caused me a long time to. And he's like this, whoop. The guy went anyways. So, whoop. Well, what he did was, he went like that first. And he was like this, whoop! The guy went anyways, so... He's kind of caught me. Well, what he did was he threw, he went like that first. And we guys went, whoop! Anyway dude, you hit my car.

What had been better if he slipped, boom! And came right back, I'm gonna say everybody. And you're all just lit him up. And that's what he looks like now. He's changed it. He had a total makeover. But that's it, that's all the current events we had. Yeah.

Alright, man. Well, guys, do you have fun? Do you have fun, though? Do you have fun, though? That's the name of the new tours. Do you have fun, though? July 28th, Shob and Friends, Pasadena, IZOVS One Show Friday night, July 29th.

We have Cobbass's Fight Companion with Cheeto Vera and some very funny friends. Yeah, I love Cheeto. That Shob and Friends of Pasadena of Pestina ice house July 28th I think it's an APM show Once you're only then Phoenix there's on a stand-up live two shows Friday August 11th in Phoenix. I'll be at JT's wings most of the time anyways cuz I'm fat Oh, oh, I almost said oh, oh my hot Nebraska one night only August 16th August 16th, Kansas City, one night only, August 17th,

I'll be having barbecue at both spots. Liberty Township, Ohio's, August 30th, Columbus, Ohio, August 31st, Spokane, Washington, September 21st through the 23rd. All right, love you guys. Blue room, no, blue room, Missouri. This weekend Friday, Saturday, the blue room in Missouri, and Williams can open for you.

Huh? Willy, willy, I mean,. And Will is gonna open for you. Huh? Will, you have to have him open for you. Oh yeah? I could. No, I'm bringing my feature, but you have to have him. Will, you get this. Oh no, he won't let us send, because he's a hundred. He legit, a hundred years old.

But he opens for everybody there. For Nick's work to me, he's the best. For your Griffin, he's a hundred. Great, there I am. Look at that, cute. You're gonna love that Great. There I am. Look at that. Cute. You're gonna love that city, dude. Ooh, I like that the new look on the podcast.

Let me see my website. Improventario, July 27, 28, 29. Oh man, look at how that's great. Look before my eye, before my eye surgery, look at that right there. You guys wonder why I got eye surgery? Holy shit. Never have.

Look at that. My pastos, look at us. The two of us, young guys. Young. A couple of young cats, no gram, I beard. Wow, man, tears. All right, kids, love you. That's it.

Wait, go back to that. See you Wednesday. I admit I have billbell on Wednesday. What's that? Okay. On Angela's cordos, thanks buddy. I don't know who that is. I didn't do this.

I'm loving my new website. I got it. Hey man, figure it out on your own. I gotta go. Sorry, man. See you guys. Love you.