The Fighter & The Kid - Steve Lemme & Kevin Heffernan | TFATK Ep. 908

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

Brendan Schaub and Bryan Callen welcome in Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers fame (or Starship Troopers according to Bryan) and the guys talk Steve's rendezvous with his teacher, Kevin's law degrees, Brendan auditioning for one of their shows, Super Troopers being a cult classic, their new show Tacoma FD, current events around the world and much more! DraftKings - Promo Code: Fighter House Of Macadamias - For a limited time, Fighter and the Kid listeners a free box of 45% macadamia snack bars - one of each flavor - when you visit houseofmacadamias.com/tfak plus 20% off your entire order with code TFAK

Yes we did, because we got it again. It's the fight only in the kid. This is really the fight only kid. Come on, man. I just debunk conspiracies. Sam believes everything's conspiracy. Wait, you debunk them or you promote them? Sam's a conspiracy theorist.

I say, and I debunk them. God, I got it. Or I'm coming in and I'll leave, though, right? Well, it's tough when you're talking like a flat Earth Earth. They know they're sh- Yeah. Are you a people? That's what's fun. You're like, it's round like live, are you?

But come on dude, they're round, they're like, yeah, but- And when they're like, have their black, they'll know you're in flat earth. I don't know if you've tried it, they've steamrolled through. Well, that's a problem. It's stupid. You also are arguing in the same plane. And there's facts and no facts.

The fundamental difference between a conspiracy theorist myself is this,acy theorists actually believe there's a small group of people that have the ability to control literally everything. And, and plan. Yes, your head. And so the problem with anything is that people have different points of view. Go to a barber shop and there'll be six different points of view. Human beings aren't like that. Everybody has a different way to solve a problem.

Everybody has sees a different problem. Everybody believes this isn't a problem. This isn't a problem. How it affects them? The Fed has their idea of what to do in inflation and Congress has their idea of what's politically expedient. It goes on and on. So the idea that there's this small group of bankers,

and by the way, most conspiracy theories usually have the Jews at the top. The globalists. The globalists. Yeah, the globalists, which is, which is code for Jews. Right. You know, but, but if you look at it at the end of the day, you're like, you think that they, and by the way, they're in the Vatican, the Buckingham Palace. Sure.

But the Vatican Buckingham Palace is somewhere in Antarctica or Switzerland. And the TSA, I've heard they're in the TSA. And the TSA, yeah. And the tracks. Yeah, the problem is, the problem is like some of the stuff they've gotten right, so then they're like, well everything's right to share. But some of it, they're dead on. That's the issue.

They're dead on, but not in the causes. They might be dead on, so for example, you could say, there are money, there are money. This is why you guys on just talking about this. No, there are money interests that align. You can have corporate interests, and they can, if big tech and corporate they start can they sort of big for like minded big for me

everybody's making money off of narrative i can see people kind of going well they're all good so be you can't say that they're all broke up and just happen is right twice a dot well that's there's are they scared or they confident it's a community so there are a lot of them. It can be terrified, right? Of like the thing that's out there. Those are the ones to stay at home. The ones like Sam are great,

because Sam is just a comedian who loves the idea that, you know, there are, Sam has a deep, deep moral compass. You know, Sam tripling. He's one of the great comics that not enough people know about. And so. Oh, he hasn't been canceled, it was beyond me. He's one of the great comics that not enough people know about. He hasn't been canceled. He's like a 90s comic. It's on the stuff he says on Staging. What are you doing? He's always funny. He's an amazing

Podcast and he's just awesome. But also I think you can sparse people. The conspiracy is always more entertaining than actual truth. So it's way more fun. It's way, yes. It's way more fun. It's a Hollywood movie. What is the conspiracy that they've been correct about? I mean, we'll get banned from YouTube, but the pandemic, they were right on that, like the whole control, all that stuff, they're right on that, JFK obviously the big one.

The one that we don't know of JFK. Oh, come on. Oh, we don't know, right? Come on. The government doesn't just do. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I understand that. Come on. That one. So easy. It's very, it's very, it's very, it's very enticing to think, but I don't know that we have, we still don't have any actual measurable. But why is that? Like that in the wild? I can't really didn't exist. Yeah. Of course. But why is that though? They

still have documents that they won't release. Even Trump was like, I'm going to release it. You really some of was like, I'm gonna release it. You really some of was like, I can't release this. Yeah, I don't know. What do you think of it? Do I think that there were people in power who could have probably orchestrated the assassination of a president probably?

Because JFK was against... Curtis LeMand was against the most foreign Cuba. Curtis LeMand was no strength to kill lots of people. He didn't want to go to war. Termins in especially Japanese. That one's easy though, that's on the main goal. Yeah, but I mean, we're talking about, you know,

60 years ago now, right? But it's also possible, it's also possible that one lone gunman killed somebody. It's also possible that happens. More often than not, a lone gunman does something like assassinate someone or kill people. So, I always go with the sort of the least sexy option, which is yes, could be.

I hear you. Most signs point towards the could be. Almost the majority signs point. But when people start talking about politics, I've had my friend who has done a lot of killing, and said, hey dude, you guys don't know what the fuck you're talking about, we're gonna come to politics. That is exactly how a head can go sometimes.

Take it from a guy who's done a lot of head shots. You know, so we don't know. I mean, again, it's like, all of us are talking. I hear you. Do you listen to all of our stone who literally has his master's and get dead? I did, I did. And I think that that story can do.

You listen to Robert F Kennedy, who it's it's his uncle like people would know more than us Is what I'm saying yeah? I don't know 60 years ago. I'm saying they know more than us though. He just said his buddy I don't know. He says you know window. Did you see the window? Yeah, that's a shot. I could take Yeah, I count of course it is With that old gun. How does that very accurate? God M1 hey, it was an M1. I shot the year for much farther away Okay, so that that shot as the cars coming that shot is the moving car is as easy to make as you can imagine It is all of stone beg the different and also

You saw it, but maybe see will recreate that shot and couldn't do it That's that an algorithm It was a little bit crazy. I mean, they do all of stone little bit crazy guy. Yes, and also a little cookie Maybe see it. Did it that's for the No, I don't know. I don't know. I feel like it Little drunk can you see how I think so you know, please see how we want to put that much time Do it like sure sure there's a full documentary and then a movie about it to yeah, and what is he saying? Not a hard he says he's one hundred percent positive. There's more than one shooter and it was not just the loan

She sure sure and the government was involved You argue that you're you might be right. We can already have for 60 years I might be a conspiracy that I can see getting behind I'm not saying that I have to know I've forgotten about it It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this.

It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this.

It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's been so long since I've talked about this. It's a laundry detergent commercial where they were like, this gets out tough stains.

We snuck into the Smithsonian and got JFK's blood stained shirt. And we've got JFK written in white on the shirt, but we made that joke on stage and there was a fucking gasp from the audience. And my father, who's from Argentina, got me right after the show came up to me. He's like, don't you ever do that and sketch again. JFK was a great man.

Don't you ever do that again? And I think Kevin was getting the same thing. I was. He couldn't touch it. And you know, that was 40 years after the fact that you're still good. You said to me, I'm going to do that joke all the time now. It was a funny bit. I mean, it was a, it was a commercial, we should have a parody. But isn't that the JFK murder, it's interesting, because when you go to Dallas, there's like,

there were like Asian people like, you know, they have the X, they're like laying the street, taking selfies. You're like, a guy died here. I know it's been 60 years, but it's still dark, man. Yeah, like, people have fun with their like, like with the picture, like, what's that? There's a line of people. Sure. And then I always grabbed a tour towards the one, the guy who gives the tours. There's the real, you know, the, the, the woke tour, the soy tour. That he does, what is that? I was in the CIA, but like,

but so there's a tour for the sheep. I'm alright. And then there's, and there's always like, the weird guy with the live patch is like, you want the real truth or what you should do? So you jump in like his old tab like, you can go down yeah it's like ten bucks sure you don't wear house oh yeah he had a guy do it

the jack k thing is the one thing that you kind of go you you're a hundred and ten percent yeah because you've read books on it yeah I love it yeah I think it's interesting how many times are you taking a tour oh every time on there and it's not the fake tour not the one you I I patched it up. But don't you, don't you want to hear that point of view though? Like, I've heard it though. I know all that. So I've done the real tour.

My first time went there, I was like, of course. Well, he, the Arbigaw is always apparently like a patriot. He wasn't a communist. Like, he went over to Russia. He went to Cuba and Russia. He went to Russia and gave up, and wanted to give up his citizenship here and work for Russia.

Wasn't that the, wasn't the idea? I think all of a sudden said the idea was that he might have been a spy for us like CIA. So he was doing that because he was an actual staunch anti-communist. And it tangled web. Oh, it does. That's a moving shot in there. Well, that's crazy. It's in mafia.

It gets a D. Yeah, that's what's weird. How did Jack, why did Jack will be shoot him? That makes no sense. Then he had cancer and died. And then Jack will be when he was in prison, they would never let him do a deal. Yeah, that's what's weird. Why did Jack will be shoot him? That makes no sense. Then he had cancer and died. And then Jack will be when he was in prison. They would never let him do an interview. He was like, hey, I want to tell the truth.

I'm like, oh, you figured out. And then he died of cancer. It's all weird, man. But you guys keep going on your regular tours, okay? But though, am I a woke sheep, man? I mean, you're a sheep, yeah. You're gonna take whatever you can. But you could find out the truth tomorrow and it wouldn't matter

Because it was 60 fucking years Could have been a could have been a communist conspiracy, but the Soviet Union is a different you know Whatever doesn't fucking matter sick the only way that was surprised like it was an alien No, I'm like whoa if there's what an alien if it's an alien. Yes That would be like this is insane But I feel like then we know more shit about the you're bossing i grew up in canada

can i get yeah whereabouts uh... new haven you're pat west haven can i get now i'm uh... giants fan giant new york football giants we've seen that was you i'm new york city but you speak Spanish uh... my father's and immigrant now that you now that you said your Argentian, all I can see is a Spanish man in front of me.

Yeah, he's Latino. He's the most successful Latino showrunner in Hollywood. I did that in the past. I like that. Do you speak Spanish? See Joao Amucho. Oh wow. Do you speak Spanish?

You get your CVs. So my wife is like super Mexican. Okay. I mean, at 40, I'm not gonna pick up Spanish. Is New York Mexican and Italian? Splash of Italian. She speaks Italian. So is it?

Yeah, well, lemme, so the Argentina faction came from Italy, like five generations ago. They moved to Argentina and the marches. It's Spanish for lemming. Do your kids speak Spanish? That's what I'm talking about. I brought it. We're giving them Spanish classes. Like they take Spanish classes. You didn't speak in the house, them grow up? I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it.

I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it.

I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it.

I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used to it. I'm not used that right. Yeah, he came to New York when he was 30 His dad was that one guy in that you know English class that got the teacher Yeah, when you always think that might happen. Yeah, he got it right factor Well, cuz it's funny cuz he told us only Montanier. I'm gonna get her. Yeah, God Well, that's the left that's the left a fucked her well guys. That's kind of aggressive There's a thing about about 70 years ago

So that shit yeah, that was 65 I feel like it'd be easy to pick up your English teacher, but every guy in that class is trying to do it Oh, because you, everyone, every lad stud in that class. I took a foreign language. I took a foreign language in the, you fucked the teacher. Yeah.

You did? Yeah. Are you one up in his parents' story right now? I've known forever. Yeah. It happened. What language? French.

So you were in a class learning French. I was taking a private, I was trying to do a French teacher. And this older a class learning French. I was taking a private. And you fucked your French teacher? And this older man taught him French. So it's pretty cool man. Stay in the story. That's a story man. That's hot. And the French guy's not circumcised.

John Jacques was my teacher. You would teach it. John Jacques would teach you French. You'd suck them off, right? Listen, he'd come here and fight as a woman. We just buck them. No, I don't. You do a little bit.

He can mess around with it. I mess around with it. I fucked a teacher, we just buck them. No, I know. You do a little bit. You can mess around with it. I messed around with it. I fucked up teachers' wife. You did. What? One of my high school teachers. Flight, flat, a teacher.

What? Where's wife? You did? Yeah. You just got it. So this was your teacher. He was my teacher. You were a senior.

No, so it was the next year when I was a freshman in college. He was a sixth grade. Oh. So the next year I was a freshman in college. It was six grade. Oh. So the next year I was a freshman college, I was back in New York and we ran into each other. You don't say that. You're like, you want to get drinks? She said, how is Mr. Patterson doing? Was that kind of a take?

How old was she and were they swingers? So she was like 30 or 32. And you're 21? I was like 18 or 19. Ooh boy. And if that's the other way, then that's it. Let's say edit the story. That's dangerous.

But now this is cool. Yeah, this is a good one. Yeah, she had that mustache or no? I did not have that mustache. You were clearly in the picture. I don't know what happened. I was charming. Yeah, I was on my game.

Fuck you. And what's your name? You have long hair, then you have long hair? No, not yet. Okay. I bet the husband's like, I love fine-todd, oh, I know that guy. Yeah. Oh, fuck, he fucked my wife. Yeah, he probably not around anymore.

He probably knows. How was he? They're divorced. They might have been swingers or maybe... Well, she confessed that they hadn't had sex in two years. Oh, okay. Well, I mean, it's your duty. I mean, did you have sex in two years. Oh, okay Okay, well you can't leave you to win. It's your duty I did you have sex in their marital bed. I did and their marital bed But not that first time that first time actually oh more one more one

Well the first time well we had an affair. We had a CD little affair. Wow. This is hot the first the first time I Actually fucked her in an alley. Oh boy. In New York City, because she couldn't go to her house, and I was living at home with my parents. Yeah. And so we did it in an alley. Kind of gross. Wow, in New York, standing up.

Standing up. Up west side of Vermont. Up or west. Wow. And then I went back to college, but she and I kept in touch. And then when I came back to the city the next time, we started to meet in like poorly lit restaurants, and then I went to their house. He was out of town.

Okay. And I butt-fucked her. Oh God, now we're really fine on some stuff. Yeah. You're a closet burp. Look at you. You're really fine on stuff. I'm so over you when you had to.

Why'd you look this way and this way? I'm so over you. I'm so over you. Why'd you look this way and this way? I just wanted to make sure he's not around. That was me and this is it. I don't want anybody to hear this. Have you ever had this happening? Dude, that is hilarious. I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had,

I had that not ready for that. Maybe let's take a little break with our friends from Tacoma FD to the funniest guys in the business. Let me, Kevin Haffner. Because you guys, if you love money, you can make bank with our friends at Draftking Sportsbook. You could win big with money lines, props, parlays,

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details and say specific responsible gambling resources, bonus bets, expire, seven days after issuance, eligibility and deposit restrictions apply terms at sportsbook.com.draftKings.com slash baseball term. If you're still listening, download DraftKings, promo code is fighter. Just a correction So it's the numbers 888-7897777 and terms at sportsbook.drafkings.com Slash baseball terms don't yell at us, too, and just making sure all right. I had I had this happen I had a very very close friend very close friend. Okay. Okay. His long time girlfriend They had broken up. We were all hanging out. Okay, okay. His long-time girlfriend, they had broken up,

we were all hanging out. Yeah. We were all hanging out. I got, for whatever reason, I got the idea that it was okay for me to have sex with his girlfriend. Never okay. But the way he was talking, you thought it was okay. Yeah, because the way he was talking was like you know, he was like you guys are hitting it off And I was like green fucking like it's one of my closest friends to this day. Yeah, I go home my kid I take her home to his place. Oh Jesus player your piece of shit you came up and we Yeah, we we didn't have sex. I got I got a bone Look look at this thing and then she goes and then she said and I was like, whoo I didn't even mention to him. I figured he knew we were talking. I'd I would happen

He wasn't staying there. We stay with another girl. I'm the liability, huh? Yeah, yeah around your girl man, and then where's the car and she goes like this to me? She goes literally a month later She goes whenever you don't tell him he would die Close like you and I Don't be selfish Don't be selfish, but I mean I was like Hey my friend like are you still friends? Yeah, where my closest friends to this day? He doesn't know you sure do he doesn't know you sure do know about I know and then and then I remember in high school

Same situation. Yeah Same situation that he had graduated, but he was my friend and And it's a different friend. Yeah, and she made it seem like he was fine and then it's a different friend. Yeah, and then she made it seem like he was fine. And then so I had sex with her. Okay, and then she stayed back up. I'm talking to him on the phone, and I'm like, ha ha, and I was like,

hey, you know, I was gonna be like, thanks. And she goes, don't bring it up. And I go, hey, help stupid, or I'm like, what the fuck is going on? So that's the, I like like, she's like, what? This is insane. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me,'s the, that's the answer. I like like, he's like, what? This is insane. Hey, hey, you're just like therapy. Yeah So get off your chest man and I yeah, who else who else?

Listen man I'll show you at one time you stop by my house There's not a shot your kids are mine because your children are the size of me already and there's Free their answers big as mine could they could they beat you up? My son will be this kid is his kid is got his genetics and he's a gorilla There's seven in February. But they're the first biggest mine. Could they beat you up? My seven year old beat you. His kid has got his genetics and he's a gorilla. Yeah, baseball today. You know, I mean, you guys have kiddos.

He had baseball games like this high elite company made the cut for baseball. So he's all nervous. And I think it's good for him but I go to drop him off at camp this morning. And all the kids, because they're on like travel teams and like all baddies and seven through 10. But you see all the kids like playing together,

I took a picture of Santa Brian and go, I call this picture the loneliest boy in the world. Because all the kids are out there playing, and he's in the dugout just with his glove and no one's talking to him. And it's a dad, I'm like, breaks your heart. I was like, oh no, but I went through that.

I'm like, yeah, I can't be like, hey, Tiger, meat, whatever, you know. So I just had to leave him. I was like, oh no. He's so cute. Yeah. Yeah, but his neck is this neck. I don't know if you I just had to leave. Well, I was like, oh, no. He's so cute. How long was that picture? But his neck is this thick. He's just sitting there like this.

Somebody's gonna come on. He's probably gonna come on. Somebody's gonna come on. A story about a school like that. He's probably fucking the manager's wife too. You might be. Good chance to. Well, like there's a special bench.

And if you're feeling lonely, you go sit in the bench and there are other kids know that you want them to come talk to you. Where's that at? Some friend of mine said it like they're kids. That's an L.A. Yeah, because it's like, it's that same thing. The kids sit in there like lonely.

And now if the kids sit on that bench, the other kids know they should go talk to them to be nice to them. Man, we are hope those other kids know that. That's like the... But not at the bottom. I was just gonna call that the loser bench. That's right. I think I'd have the guts to go sit on that bench either.

Well, what do you, you know, you... Is there a cool bench on my side on the gold pool? Maybe. Maybe it's the pool bench. I think I don't know. I just want'd have the guts to go sit on that bench either. Well, what do you, you know, you're a cool bench on my set on the gold pool. Maybe it's the cool bench. I don't know. I just think I don't want people to come talk to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But as a parent, like I remember my parents dropped me out

when I was in sixth grade at the University of Colorado football camp and you're staying in the dorm for two weeks. Yeah. I don't have any friends. I did the exact thing. I did the exact thing. You know, you used to learn those kind of hardships. You know, we got heartbreak and it's a hardships. You know what I mean? It's heartbreaking.

It's a dad. I went to it. We make friends, buddy. I went to a soccer camp when I was 11 in Connecticut. And I told all the kids that I was a street fighter from New York City. Yeah. And they believed in me. They fucking believed in me.

They believed in me. We also had so many. And then the older kids, like the 14 year old kids came down to our floor at a fucking rumble. And I was in my fucking dorm room and I heard one of them go like, Hey, you watch out. We got a guy here who's a street fighter from New York City. I was fucking under the cover.

I don't know what the fuck come out there. I would have got my ass there. I had a guy, Nick, Nick, my buddy said it was my feature, said that a guy asked him, a guy goes, Hey, how would you talk about some comic, maybe a preacher of loss and who's an awesome guy? Love preacher. But he was like, he should fight Brendan, they should do a fight. And I was like, don't, you can't get that twisted now. Don't preach a loss and athletic adversity.

Oh, because preacher wants to fight, right? Yeah, but you, that's the advantage. Preacher lost in athletic adversity. Oh, because Preacher wants to fight, right? Yeah, but you, that'd be a passage. No, what I, or what I, I know, but I was like, and Nick, Nick who is a rustler of the, the gangus, that would be a very bad idea for anybody. For everybody involved. Anybody who's not applied for me. Preacher's a great guy.

But do you have a thing like, so I was saying, Steve came and did that episode of Tacoma FD and like he brought hit You know he was getting ready for that Nagano fight and so his trainers were with them second fight Yeah, the second fight and so he was working out while we were while we were shooting But I was like first stepe and his trainer I was like this must be fucking annoying because everybody who has done any sort of mixed martial arts arresting is coming up to them.

And with advice and like this is what I do, maybe we could like I could train with you. And then because notting and taking it, you know, he's used to it. Yeah, but how was he on set? He's a good dude. He's like such a good person. Such a good guy. Yeah. The biggest head on that.

I'm not I'm saying physically the biggest head of ever seen Huge head is so it was funny because we like the plot of the episode is he comes and does like our firefighters have a podcast And he does their podcast, but they've been trashing him and he just stops bikes He's doing a fight in Tacoma and he's looking at all the firefighter houses and so he he does their podcast But then he finds out that they were trashing him. Oh, it's funny. And so he comes back and fucking kicks the shit out of all of them. And so our AD was like, do you want to get like some stunt doubles in here?

Because like sometimes these like real fighters get excited and they can hurt people. And I was like, no, it's going to be fine. It's going to be like, you know, like he's just slapping them Yeah, and so it's TV it'll be totally fine. Steve. I know that the first take He's supposed to smack the guy gay who plays like crystal six foot four guy He takes the first swing and you know gave us supposed to go down and all of a sudden Steve it looks in we're because we're like shooting from behind a door. And he's like, holy shit, I hit him. I hit him for real.

And we all start laughing. We think it's a little bit they're doing. And he's like, no, I seriously, I hit you're fucking guy. And now we see all these crew members going over. He's all, yeah. His fingertip clipped our guy's nose. And that knock him, that fucking knocked him to the ground. But it was like a holy shit, he that fucking got him. Yeah, yeah, to the ground, but it was like a like a holy shit.

He fucking really hit him and like steep baby felt terrible. Every felt terrible. Was that what season was that? Cause we guys on season five now. Four now. That was still. You still stay like everything else on true TV's been canceled, except for Tacoma.

I think true TV's been canceled. I read every I just never there's nothing. It's just Tacoma. Tacoma. Tacoma. The actual joke. Oh, that there's nothing there. It's the Tacoma of the... Tacoma of the... Trutvismen, track track track track. Oh, that's on that time. What's funny is Tacoma, I audition for the first season.

Yeah, yeah. I audition for the first season. That's when I realized, like, Hollywood, like, I was like, I'm big, I'll stick out, and I go, because they're all like big firefighters, though, Rollas was the lead for. And I sit down, like, oh, everybody looks like me, but better.

I was like, that's how I was like, what is happening right now. I said down like oh everybody looks like me but better Like To me That was like the guy who got the part like you guys were in the waiting room together Yeah, and then first of when he walked in we were like, huh look at his biceps Oh, I was rock hard when he sat down like, oh, I'm not getting this at least I got to see what was this a role for a fighter For no fire fire fire. Oh for a fire. Yeah, but it was like the big the big dumb fire fighter He's like like he's big and fucking jacked and that and this guy came up with a mustache and he's a beautiful Oh, he's a beautiful man and his wife's we were like holy fuck his name. What's his name?

name is Gabe Hogan Gabe Hogan. Oh, right when I saw a great. Please. Yeah. Oh, that's a great man Gabe Hogan Gabriel Hogan Yeah, there you go. That's a big handsome son of a bitch. Yeah, there you go. Oh, well come on You're not gonna get yeah, he's a firefighter. I mean, I'm what are you doing? Oh, well, come on. You're not going to get, yeah, he's a firefighter. I mean, what are we doing? I mean, what are you doing? You're not getting that part? I called my agent, like you ever seen Gabe Hogan? You piece of shit.

You send me on this goddamn audition. Yeah, click on that middle one. Go back up a little bit. That one, the right below, right below. This one? Yeah. He's also like, look at he's a fucking cock, too. Like, he's like like he's, like,

he played a, it's a big kid. Yeah, he's done like, he started, he's Canadian. He should always have a mustache, by the way. It's a good look on him. Yeah, it's a good look on the mustache then.

Yeah, never shave the mustache. Yeah. But he's the one that get that steep A hit and he just went down like a fucking. I bet man. Nothing. Yeah, there he is, and it took home a hat. Yeah, there he goes.

But here's the thing, it did a good job though. It's supposed to be a done man. You did a good job. It's really hard to act on. You really did. It's really hard to act on it. Like, yeah, not like, like Woody Housen did it in cheers. Like a dumb guy, but like...

He could be acting like he was always watching a Disney movie, right? Yeah. Yeah. And it's a really fucking, I think it's, like that part was where we learned that. We're like, holy shit. Like nobody is nailing this and this guy came in. Yeah, I heard my friends, you guys said, hmm, don't act them, just play yourself. But just, you know, over it, you're over acting.

Just do what you do in home or alive, was it? But it says really dumb guy and you're like, we know, just play yourself here. That's exactly right. But you know, that's like, I played a guy, I got the part, but then we didn't shoot it. But I remember I had a great note from an acting teacher because there was a huge rock in the way.

And you know, they were like, the idea is how do we get it out of the way and the line is we can burn it Let's burn it. He's so dumb right now So the dumb way to do it. I first I was doing I was like well, let's just burn it You know right and he's like no, man. You're smarter than everybody in the room yeah with people so i was like guys let's burn it out of the way right and i think i was well but it's made of rock and i'm like and i have matches you know and i got the part because i but I wouldn't have, but that's how dumb people are like, you're a fucking idiot.

The positive. Yeah, well, I have the evidence that there are UFOs because it's in on the internet. The base of my career. Yeah, it's confidence. Yeah, it's confidence. You have your dead wrong, it's always how it is. It's dumb as shit people and we all have some of that in us

My am I used to have arguments with my father and I would and I'd be fucking And my father was just a nightmare with that he'd go wow Did you see the part where you sped up? Do you see how your words sped up that's the part where you just made that stuff up? Sometimes when you're arguing, I wish there was just a white flag, really, enough. All right, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Just let me out of here, man.

Especially to get into Marginville, there's a debater. Or my brother. Or your brother's key. You're between two hours, dude. Here's the fucking flag of your all. Your brother has everything. There's something else. He's just mentioned, and will not retreat.

Doesn't raise his voice, but he's right here. He's holding his ground. It's like playing tennis against a guy who's always gonna hit it back. He's right here with all the information. Don't get in, well, this Porsche is better. What? This team's better. This guy's better.

This guy's a better shooter. Don't do that unless you use your life flag. Like a fried dough mass. Why does he do that though? Was it something in his childhood that makes him my dad likes argue too. I like to argue so I think you should have family dynamic.

But he doesn't realize when he wins. The ones at my side you've got to almost come to blows. When sorry about it's easy to be a parent. And he doesn't have kids. I was gonna fight him. They're having a mom. We were in the middle of a job. And you're like,

you're a casino. We just got to one show and you can't. And they're both really like a two-on-a-manager. And I just had my first son and we're like, don't throw it man, kids not sleeping and I'm exhausted. We have stage, we're like eating after the show. And I know he's like,

I mean, being a mom's not a job. It's not a job. It's easy, I was like, what? And he's like, it's fucking, you wanna feed the kid? It's fucking easy, I'm like, you don't know what you're talking about. And he wouldn't get off of it.

I mean, I'm in this face. It's like this, because you're fucking in it. I'm like, dude, we gotta stop you're talking about. Then he wouldn't get off of it. I mean, I'm in this phase. Like this, because you're a fucking idiot. Oh my, dude, we gotta stop. It was like the brother I was in. Older younger. Older. And he's not backing down,

and it doesn't matter, Brennan's a heavyweight, and you have to see, it doesn't matter. He would have fought him right then, right there. It wouldn't have mattered. It was gonna be, Did you guys fight physically? No, I'm younger. Younger, yes.

Yeah, awfully. Yeah, horrible. I'm gonna write it, did you get the best of you? Oh, my record's like one in 2000. No, I'm younger. Younger, yes. Yeah, awfully. Yeah, horrible. I mean, did he get the best of you? Oh, my record's like one in 2000. But the one was good. Yeah, yeah. I mean, at some point, you must have come to the place where you could get the chance.

By the time I did, we were best friends, so there's no need to beat him up. But the man I wish had those skills when I was younger. Yeah. But he made you the man you are today. Yeah, there you go. Oh, wow. Yeah.

I used to fight with my sister. My older sister. She's in your one in 2000, okay? Yeah. Older sisters are always strong. She was a ballerina. She was a fucking ballerina. That's what I was doing.

And she would, she would, she'd two moves. She'd call me over and either punch me in the nose. Or she'd give me a flying kick like in the chest. That's true. And then you passed out, yeah. But finally I joined the wrestling team and one time I kicked her ass and held her with a pillow. When I brought it up she was crying

and she never fucked me in. What'd you dad like to do? That's a girl. What the fuck are you doing? No, he wasn't home. My mom was there though. Yeah. My sister, my daughter beats the shit out of her.

Like she'll just kick my son. My son, like I try to teach him stuff and he's just not. He's just more of a puppet. He's just like a magician. Your daughter's a minus 1700 again. My daughter is a full grown woman. But she's still 15 and my son,

just he keeps doing this because he wants the pain. And finally, she just goes, Goosh with one of her big legs. She's got her mom's legs. Yeah, long. She has long viking legs. Goosh, right in his chest. Like he's a, hey, campry.

It's just fucking a disease. What, how was he though? He's younger. He's 11, he's gonna be 12 years. Well, so there'll be a time though, where. Yeah, he hasn't had a- I don't know dude. I don't know if there's the time.

She's seen his kids like his dog. Yeah, it's a savage man. Does she have a back as muscular as yours? Nobody does. I'm just gonna ask. You see how I set you up for that? What a fucking great guest, man. You know what I'm gonna say, it's a pull-up regime. Do we have, do you guys have a back as muscular as yours. Nobody does. I'm just gonna ask. You see how I set you up for that? What a fucking great guest, man. You know what I'm saying?

It's a pull-up regime. Do you guys have a minute? Okay, so what you do is you take your stuff. I have never done a pull-up in my life. Not even a one. That's crazy, because the first thing I've never done a one-up. I've never done a one-up.

Look at you, Kevin, his pull-up. I know. I know. Number once. You're not a big exercise guy. I do exercise, but I can't do a pull- I can't do exercise wise. What am I doing exercise? Don't take this back I don't like to look at you know when you're interviewing in your cop and somebody goes

Where did I put the where I where was I? Where was I on that thing? Do I exercise? Do I? I mean, why? He didn't hear the question. Well, I was like, well, then also get sticy, because Brian, you know, he likes exercise, I think he knows exercise. And so it gets sticy too. He's gonna ask you that to give his recommendations. Sure.

And then the viewership of the podcast. I'll give, I'll give, I'll give you supplement ideas. You're a professional exercise, or I'll give you a record. No, I'll tell you this. At that moment, when you're asking him that question, I think Kevin could read this too.

Like, your eyes had the most delight in them so far of this session. No, I can just hope this is ready. This was the best, my neighbor. I'm a dick, my neighbor. So we should play tennis sometime. I'm such a piece of shit. And I go, I go, I go like this, I go.

Yeah, but are you good? And he's like, he's like, he goes, I mean, yeah, I hit the ball, I go, yeah, but are you good? And he's like, he's like, he's kind of, he goes, I mean, yeah, I hit the ball, I go. I go, let me see a stroke. And he goes, he goes, he's a two grown man. He's like, I got to go for that. He's fair. I go, I just, I go, you don't follow through,

I can't play with you. I just don't know. I go, and I was 90% serious. Are your kids in sports? Yeah, big time. Yeah my daughter plays She plays you know on the college at level now. Oh damn she plays lacrosse and Cross country lovely my wife is I thought I mean, you know, I'm an athletic guy don't get me wrong, Calon I'm not saying what I'm saying I never gonna pull it before that's one thing I've never done and I never will okay

I can't even in my school like middle school never I was the kid who couldn't climb the road again. I didn't in gym class you to climb the rope Never climb the rope. You have to pull up you everybody has the lots like me It's true and you know, I have brought up your back every time I see you stand up comedy Usually the whole routine is about your back. It's pretty and the sinew usually the whole routine is about your back. It's pretty much it. And the sinew. It's the sinew.

I'm a one-note comic. I'm a one-note guy. It works though. Yeah, maybe. And squats sometimes. Squats. I have the squat. Did your kids want to get into Hollywood?

At all. They have. We put them in Tacoma a little bit. They've gone through stretches where they have. We put them in super troopers, the last super troopers movie. But it's kind of like, we have this kind of family that makes these shows and these movies and they know everybody and like they know the crew and the sound guy's been with us

for 25 years and comes to my house for barbecue. So it's like, you know, when they do it, it's like family. Yeah, it's not like an uncomfortable like going to a set or auditioning or whatever. So they don't have any aspirations to do it, you know? But super troopers is truly a cult classic though. Yeah, tell me if this is right or wrong.

This is the urban legend going around online. The super troopers just DVD sales was over $100 million. Oh yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah. $100 million, Brian. So you guys got some cash. No, we didn't get the deal that we Brian. So you guys got some cash. No, we didn't funny because the deal the deal that we made We all we wanted was to have a movie in one theater like back then we were you know

We made that movie independently for a million bucks Tina Myers in front of mine. Oh really love her Tina Myers she's in super troopers Dina or Tina? Dina. Dina. Well, let me just, let me make sure the podcast came to Screeching Hope. Hey! I'm sorry.

What part is she? Is that her? No, she's in Starship Troopers. She's in Starship Troopers. I'm sorry, stupid. You fucking... You want to put the stupid guy? You fucking asshole.

I love you guys at all about Super Troopers and yours. Morgan Freeman's a friend of mine. Do you still think it's a call classic? Do you think it's still thinking it's a classic, that's a cannon? Oh, can you talk to his a- You know, you piece of shit. That's the one I sat next to a guy in a plane. And he asked me about my career,

and I was talking about super troopers, and he's like, I love that fucking movie. And you're awesome in it. I was like, thank you very much. He's asking questions about the film business. We're talking 30 fucking minutes on the plane. And at the end, he's like, and what was the budget?

I was like a million and quarters, like a million and a quarter. What about all the bugs? And I was like, you're thinking of starship troopers. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What movie do you talk about? I'm like super-tributed, he's like, oh, I've never heard of that movie. Meanwhile, he said he'd love me.

That's my ex-laptop movie. It's a movie we play cops, Colin. It's a movie we're gonna play cops. I thought it was me. Mike Weaver's in it. Your's my best detective movie. It's a movie with a play cop's talent. Yeah, it's a movie where we play cops. I thought it was weird. Mike Weaver's in it. Your friends are Mike Weaver. I love Mike Weaver's the best. Pull it over.

I'm flabbergasted. Yeah, I'm so sorry, guys. I knew it was you, no sound. Rhymes, I got love that movie. I can't tell. And as you're telling us where he goes, Tom Hanks is a friend. I was like, what?

No, I was testing you guys to make sure you guys were the real guys. God, a guy. We have a lot of deep fakes in here. Yeah, I think I have a recovery. It's also kind of like maybe Dina is the one who's been telling you the bullshit story. Right?

I mean, you know, the shit. She maybe she is. But you guys made that move and hopes to be in one theater. We want to be in one theater and they put us on, I think like 1200 screens. But the deal we made at the time was like preposterous.

Like the claim by the studio was that the amount of money they were gonna spend, like they weren't gonna break even until we had made $100 million. Oof. And we're, you know, but also the guy put the money up. I mean, we sold our firstborn child, you know. There's a guy who put up a million bucks. He's whatever it took, right?

Yeah, whatever it took. Man, I'm sorry. He did very well, but Yeah, whatever it took. Man, I'm sorry. He did very well. But like, it was also in that moment, it doesn't exist anymore, but when DVD was king, it was like, they could make them for five cents, and they sell them for 20 bucks. It's hard and hard to make money, right?

Like, off film, because you guys are in that, we're writing a film, shooting a film, selling a film. It's very hard to make money, isn't it? Well, yeah, because it depends on who distributes it. You can't, it's hard to find out how much money they spend, you know? Yeah, which is why you take the feeds up from. Yeah, because they're gonna fuck you.

They're gonna, one hundred percent. Yeah, that idea, if I'm gonna get back end points, okay, once the movie starts, it turns a profit, okay. But then you guys came up where, like you guys, I know New York and Connecticut, but you guys met where, like how did this dynamic deal come together? We went to college together We went to Colgate University in upside New York. So all of us are like school five. We're two space school Good to face very good school. Yeah good school. He hated me. What did you study?

political science You as a fine arts as a painter you were a painter yeah he is a good for fucking smashers he really does yeah or beret did you do you know did you know she your fucking girl

yeah did you go that went well along with the gay phase though did you have that a lot of guys or you know listen you say that but like the whole thing was my friend spurber was like dude let's be art majors. And he was like, I've been to the art studio, there are so many hot chicks over there. He's like, and they drink wine.

He's like, let's go drink wine and paint things and hang out with these chicks. I was like, I'm so fucking in. Yeah, exactly what I wanted. In your dad's saying, did you not go, but do you like money? Yeah, my father I wanted. In your dad's saying, did you go, but do you like money? Yeah, my father would have been like, cool over here.

What did you say to me? I would have gotten shit. You think I paid for you to go and call you, you could pay? Tell me, you would have punched me in the face for real, like that. And here's the thing. So my father was a chemical engineer in Argentina.

Oh, wow. And at age 30, he was like, there must be a better, he said it in Spanish, but there must be a better life in America. And so he left Argentina at age 30 and came to America. He didn't speak any English. He couldn't get a job because they were like, fuck this English teacher. First of all, you have to learn English.

We know, and also you have to have an American degree in chemical engineering. So now he had to go back to chemical engineering school. So he's already done this. So another four years in chemical engineering and he's learning English at the same time. He couldn't get a job so he was selling hot dogs in Times Square and he was a dishwasher at a restaurant. God, they, he fucked his English teacher. Yes, anyway. My mom then went on to be a Spanish teacher. Well, he did, and it's clear that he fucked her on the first night, because, uh, because he said then he was like, the first day was dinner, the second day was breakfast

together. You're gulking it. Dirty. So your mother, all the fun she could do, she, well, you know, it's a, it's a custom in Argentina when you fall in love with a woman, you follow her home to make sure she gets home safely. Well, that's a salt, bro. And I was like, that's fucking stalking. Yeah, near the mega salt. Yeah, and he was like, no, no, this is a flirtation. You, you let her know you are a following her home.

I'm like, that's fucking worse. Let's do it. That's like, I'm gonna be right behind you. Yeah, I'm here on the subway. On the subway. Ah! Anyway, whatever subway. I'm here on the subway. I'm here on the subway. I'm here on the subway. Anyway, whatever.

So he got his chemical engineering degree in America after learning English to study that shit. Then he got like a master's in business administration did all that shit. Rose to a nice position. But my mom became a teacher at a very elite private school in New York City. And so they sent me there. They had to spend a shit ton of money that they didn't have. So my dad was in debt every year to send my sister and me to that school.

And then senior year, I dropped out of college. Wow. And because of entertainment? No, I couldn't be a fucking... I drunkenly severed my is tendon the day before classes started and i couldn't get to i couldn't make it to class for the first couple of weeks and so i was just behind at thanksgiving i i stayed home damn and so like i'm that party how do you sever your ten uh... like a fake karate fight and i

fucking kicked through a like a glass door oh no shit yeah severed forty four so that injury so then when where does the the theater and like the The improv come together for you guys Yeah, so that was our jute that was my junior year senior year my senior year J. Chatterseg are one of the guys He said fucking he was in starship troopers. Yeah, the bugs. He was in the super He was in space ship troopers, but yeah, he used to direct a lot of theopers. Yeah, the bugs. He was in the super he was in space troopers, but he used to direct a lot of the schools. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and he He kind of he had been in Chicago and he wanted to start a comedy group at college at Colgate

There's nothing like it there. So he started he kind of gathered a bunch of people together And we did it like an improv show sketch show and it was you know The five guys who were left were part of that original group So the five guys who were still broken lizard or whatever so So we did shows at Colgate and and we kind of did comedy shows and Stand-up shows and shit like that, you know, and then then we moved to New York. How's Jay? Good. Yeah, and he's doing well. He's directing. He's directing. He's doing, he's doing what to stand up now.

He's just special next week. He's gonna shoot it in Chicago. No shit. Yeah. So he's been, he's been traveling on the last day. Funny guy. Yeah, he's good. He's good. But yeah, he's directing a lot of TV and and then you know, we made another movie, we had a movie that came on April called Quasi. It's on Hulu. And so we were doing that for a while. And, but you know, the Dean of Myers is in that movie. We still see him regularly.

I'm not actually directed it. Now, are you doing any standup? You guys are both doing standup? We haven't done it a while. I think since Tacoma started, we just haven't had time. Yeah, it's been five years because... There's the new movie, quasi. Are we real, isn't it? Like, it's great.

What do you think? It's a medieval. It's about the hunchback. That looks like real hunchback. What the fuck, what that cost you? Yeah. It was, we did it on the cheap. We did it, I wouldn't have cost us. I don't know, it was under 15 million bucks.

It's a bulls-a-poster. And we shot it up in Santa Clarita. And we built a French medieval village up there and we shot a hunchback That's so great up there. Let me let me place the hunchback. Who directed it? I did he did And then in Tacoma, why Tacoma? Why Tacoma? Fire. Because that was the, we were trying to, look, we reverse engineered it. Super Troopers 2 was coming out and we were like, all right, we got to get on TV. Because we've done like 14, we'd sold like 14 TV shows and

one reason or another, they wouldn't make it. We shoot a pilot, it wouldn't make it, you know. And so we were like, people like us with our mustaches, what other jobs? We had mustaches and we're like people like us with our moustaches. What other jobs have moustaches and we're like fire fighters All right, so what's the hook and we're like well super troopers was High patrol men on the most deserted stretch of highway in the country What's the equivalent of that firefighter were like the rainiest city in the country? Nothing to fucking do and so they're and we were in Tacoma at the time we were doing it to come a comedy club great Great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great were doing the Tacoma Comedy Club great great great club the best

Yeah, we're we're we're there for the weekend. It was like you know overcast and whatever like Right here man. What the firefighters do here's rain all the fucking time So we so whatever so then we did we announced the show we were doing shows in Seattle and And the manager the club came back and he's like, hey, there's a bunch of Tacoma firefighters here. They want to talk to you. They're like, oh shit. And so we went out after the show and talked to them and they were pissed.

Because the word had got around in the press that it was the rainiest city. And they're like, we just want you to know, we fight a lot of fires. And we were kind of scared or whatever and like they're kind of you know get mad at us And then after the whole conversation the guy like pulls out a business car and he goes I also do technical consulting Thank buddy Then we became friends with those guys like we actually premiered to com FD at a charity event Oh, that's cool. I'm a fighter. Yeah, and that guy was there. Do you have a real loyal cult following? Yeah, I mean it's crazy because like Oh, that's cool. Firefighters. Yeah. And that guy was there. Do you have a real loyal cult following? Yeah.

I mean, it's crazy, because like, there's what, like, three or four million firefighters in the country or whatever. And, you know, they all, all the firefighters shows on TV are those ones where it's like, you know, there's a lot of crying and it's, you know, dramatic and soot. And they just, yeah, they want wanna see the show where they're fucking around

in the station. That's what they do all the time. Yeah, the other time. So I think ours was the first one that, you know, something that did that and, you know, I have a family of firefighters and my cousin is our technical consultant. He hangs out in the set and he gives us stories

and makes sure we look right. And you know, people say that it's very accurate to the firefighter they don't like me everybody's just like they're so hot they're really good she's intense Tom boys but hot shit guys do a lot of risk curls their forearms and no joke yeah and then you you got me. I've never been a pull-up guys Well, I'd rather have a firm and like you look at the way they're standing. Oh Yeah, don't fuck with those guys. Yeah, baby oil. Can we get more oil on his arm? Please see those firefighters take themselves too serious. Yeah, the black guy looks so uncomfortable

Well, that's it. And look at the loser fucking naked. Yeah, it's aminem Look at the loser lady doctor in the back left She looks like you wonder it or she would look like she wanted it on this But that's why we do those things as a like we do shots like that as a joke That's so ridiculous That's so ridiculous

Chicago fire Get the Tacoma FD Season 3 poster up there please Watch this look at this fucking shit right here Season 2 Season 2? I'll get Season 2 You got to shoot it. We're Woodland Hills. Oh really?

Right on the burial and Irwin. Oh fuck. Yeah, we built this Always over there. There you go. Yeah, we found this like empty office complex. Yeah, that one that Black build the station inside of it. So dumb. Look at that fucking sweet poster. Even she has a mustache Yeah, it's really back. It's really funny, but so funny. That's really funny. It's a comedy, because otherwise you would think we were just as fucking hot as a Chicago fire. Yeah, like Chicago fire department. Yeah, so you gotta put a mustache in there.

That's hilarious. Let's take a little break, because it's time for some nuts in your mouth, daddy. It's time for less carbs. It's time for nuts that are 33% less in carbs. I'm on the vegan paleo-kiddle friendly. I'm talking about the best profile you can get. I'm talking about nuts.

You're talking about these better. They're like avocados on steroids, bro. Dip macadamia, it's chocolate. Macadamia, macadamia nuts. Yeah, they've got rare omega-7 fatty acids that has been led, that can support natural collagen production, glucose metabolism. So if you have problems with, you know, your blood sugar, and it reduces inflammation, and it's also been linked to longevity and fat loss, which is why world record

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No added sugar or artificial ingredients. Give it a scound. Dude, they have variety of flavors, like blueberry, coconut, white, plain chocolate, regular chocolate. You know what I'm gonna do? If you wanna try out that variety box, you can take a free box of macadamia, and you can go for white chocolate and plain chocolate.

How about you get a free box of 45% macadamia snack bars? One of each flavor, then pick your favorite, then order the whole box of them. When you visit houseamacadamia.com slash TFAK, plus, 20% off your entire order with the code T F A K get you some academia nuts in your mouth. How some act a me is dot com slash T F A K um, but I don't know. I mean to go back to think firefighters, they love it. They they, they, they, they, they get now they just give us their stories. You know what I mean?

And we'll, you know, there's a, that's, each one of them's got like a hundred great stories, you know? Oh, fine. And you just, you know, that's how you write it. You just come up with like an idea and then just go. Yeah. Yeah. That was a 50th birthday party for somebody. And we were partying late night and our friend was standing up drinking a beer and he just

fucking collapsed in this hotel room. And I was like, I got down there. I was like, I revived him. I did some of my firefighter training. I was like, Hey, what's your name? He said his name. I was like, do you know who, I was like, I revived him. I did some of my firefighter training. I was like, hey, what's your name? He said his name. I was like, do you know who I am? He said my name.

I said, do you know what year it is? Do you know where you are? And he's like, yeah, yeah. I was like, I think you should stay down there. He's like, I'm fine. He stood up, was up for another minute, and then fucking collapsed again. And this time, he almost hit his head like on an end table.

And I was like, to be able to do a people in the room, I'm calling the fire, I'm calling 911. And people are like, I don't think you should. You know, he's been doing coke. And I was like, definitely call the fire. And like I'm calling them, like he's fucking, he's, he's green, whatever color he was. So they came, they like revived him. They did the whole fucking shit, put him through tests and everything. And meanwhile, while that's going on, a female firefighter whispers in my ear. She's like, are you Eddie Penisi? I was like, I am. I am.

Can I get a picture with you after this? You may. You may. That's pretty awesome. Did you hear the bunch of cops? Was that a convention? And they had run into this suite, this hotel room suite. And there's like literally 30 or 40 of them.

And they're all in this, they're all kind of sitting around. I think they're waiting to watch a game or something. They're all sitting around, some on the bed, some on the chairs, the drink in, the talking. It's just like a great kind of love us. A dude comes in with a gun and tries to rob them. What? He just doesn't know.

Didn't know they're cops, because, but all you watch is, all I know and all the cops are like And they just jump on them at the same time they basically all jumped on Russell the gun from them and stuff like that and then when they they kind of got the gun away from them He was dead Holy shit. He had a heart attack holy Holy shit. He was doing the cops now? What's that? No, he just died trying to rob them.

And they got the gun away and he just ended up dying on the hotel somewhere. Get out of here, bro. I'm notifying. Yeah, that, I mean, that happens. That kind of shit, we have a lot of cops stories. Just because of super troopers. We were doing not star-chip troopers.

You must get some crazy stories. We were doing a show in Missouri, a weekend in Missouri on Thursday night after that show. We were like, Thursday's when we typically don't party at all because you got to wake up for some Friday morning. Radio and all that shit. But we pulled into the hotel on Thursday anyway to check in and they're probably like 50 Missouri state

cop cars in the parking lot and they were having their convention there. And so, you know, whatever, we did our show, we got back on Thursday night. I was in his hotel room, we were going over the game plan for the morning. Stone Cold sober, I go and I get in the elevator. We say goodnight.

We say goodnight. I get in the elevator with all these fucking cops. And then one of them goes, you boys like Mexico, which is one of my lines from Super Troopers. And I was like, the one with the, yeah. As you, yeah, you got me and they're like, you're fucking coming, partying with us. And it was that, it was

them in a hotel, we're just sitting around passing bottles of whiskey. Good time. You know, 30 minutes later, we're driving a 7 11 in a squad car to get cigarettes, you know, the whole fucking thing. And these guys fucked me up. But they all use the key phrases you use in super troopers. My father-in-laws highway patrol officer, they all use the, yeah, you get fucking with each other. Yeah, it's like all of them follow it.

I'm sure we get fooled over speeding. But you guys probably drive the speed limit, but if you, if you, if you don't, if you take the road the way I do if you take Yeah, yeah, and when I take the road, so I'm not gonna pull over and they go They go loves you and super troopers What me and they go I know You can do full ups. What do you do for your back? I know. You go way more athletic than those. You can do full ups.

What do you do for your back? Why not? And I couldn't fit my back in their uniforms. You know what forms do you have? Yeah, so you can. Or my cock. Or my cock. I did get pulled over doing 120.

And the guy leaned in as I can mystery of any idea how super trooper. You thought I'd be Vegas. I was doing 110 miles an hour and the Espatia lie, right? I wasn't doing 110. I was going very fast though. And I get pulled over and speech wrapped and the guy from World's Thomas, you know, they all watch that too.

He just looks and he goes like that. He goes, he goes, what's gonna have next season? I go, I'm not telling you where shit. I know, that was it. The last time I got pulled over was right here, because you know, there's a sheriff's, you know, there's a sheriff's station right here. I got pulled over driving to,

there was a construction thing, so I was driving to the coma set. I had a firefighter code on. Yeah. And the guy pulled me over, and it was like six o'clock in the morning, because I rolled through the stop sign. And there he was. And he was like, you know, are you a firefighter? And I was like, no, I, this one you sound like, you know,

pussy. No, I shoot a firefighter show. So it was, oh, you're an actor. I was like, yeah, because I recognize you. Are you, you mean anything I know? And I was like, I was in a movie called Super Troopers. And he goes, oh, and then he let me, he just let me go. You have a good time, you know. And, and it's like I was in a movie called Super Troopers, and he goes, oh, and then he let me, he just let me go. You have a good time, you know. And, but it was right, this is the last time. Right here, right on the other side. If you're an actor, you're gonna get fucked.

You're a comic. If you make people laugh a lot of times, you know, it's like, you get off. But if you make a movie about cops, then you're set. We've been, you know, so many times, we've been let out of tickets, you know. Oh yeah. You got pulled over for speeding to go through out of pitch at the, uh, Yeah, we were throwing out first pitch at the Padres game. I'd be nervous about that. How'd you do?

That time, I actually, I saw the picture of a recently, I did pretty well, but I have bounced it a couple of times. Yeah, I have bounced it. Like, I went when I was at Kevin Bayes-Jay, I was practicing throwing. It's actually a lot farther than it's left farther and also like the you know, it's like a weird like you get that one moment adrenaline and you kind of on there. Have you ever done? I have it. I'd love to though. Yeah, love to Theo did it with the Arizona timebacks and people forget how athletic feel It's for the reason he did it. He did I told him if you want to go viral like he should have done like the 50 cent Like I think 50 cent did that on purpose You do yeah, there's no way. How do you not throw a ball?

Well, what about well? It's throwing motion was all it's also everything was a night like Chandler say car Just did it at the Cubs this last a couple months ago Fucking he practiced because he's a huge coach and he can finally get the chance it was for a quasi the movie quasi practice practice practice and then Just embarrassed like it didn't even get halfway to the mind to the catcher I'm like 50 cents because that was so crazy. You know Jeff die. He that he his goal I think it's the only thing to stand up his goals to pitch at every major league stadium I think he's done 30 of them Wow, he's thrown it in there man. Well, you know Look at his hand look at hand. Look at how I know just see you know, there's a chance he never threw it. No way. That's

that's there's a chance he you don't grow up in New York. That's embarrassing. No, it is though. It's he probably never threw a ball, dude. I don't know. That's very bad. Like do you see Connor threw it to the ball well, but then when he threw for the for the Dallas Cowboys, football you're so sure now is now I only came out yes it was like what about your basketball oh what about your boy the basketball but that's what that was 50 cents that was bad yeah that's right you know drop in the New York or the

basketball which one yeah no fucking ball dude yeah you're from the fucking Bronx you live next to the Yankee yeah dude you know so ball what about who's that basketball player who threw the ball terribly the best the number one draft pick in the NBA right now. Oh, they're super tall. Oh, when when when B1. One who beat up Britney Spears. There's a pitch. You know, it's his security guard slap Britney Spears. Have you seen that? That's a top one. Yeah, the top one too. Do you see this? Well now real quick, he's 7'4".

Yeah, and he looks so tall. And he thinks he's 7'5". What country's he from though? France. He's from France. So it's like now like he grew up playing baseball. Oh no. He's not a throw.

It's the first time he's seen a ball. Yeah, that's terrible. That wasn't terrible for him. He's not, that's terrible. He's not bad. It might be good for you, Carol, but that's terrible. Can I let her roll off your finger too? I know.

Your back prevents you from really throwing the back muscles.. You're back. He's got no back muscles. That's the problem. Too many back muscles. Do you ever see Bush when he was president? W. Bush, though, family owns the Texas Ranger. It's true. There you go. That's it. That's it. That's it. From the mound, too. That's pretty good. How Biden throw that? Let me know how it goes. Exactly. That's a good throw right there. Not bad, though. I wonder if there's any of our pitches anywhere.

Shander Sekar is the one that he threw the dirt is up there. The Cubs, the Shander Sekar? The guy's belt rolled it in. That makes me sad. Did he go up and then roll? Yeah, I think he just... The last one I did was at the Charlotte Knights. Yeah, and you were talking about...

He was talking, is a big game about that. He was like, I'm mind-released. He was like, you're gonna fucking bounce this. You're putting this in the drama fucking channel. CHN-D-R-A. Yep. No, D-R-A. I'm minor league baseball. He's like you're gonna fucking bounce this you're putting this in the drama And DRA Yep, no DRA OCK S E K a J R took me a long time to figure out They don't even have it in there. It's his name so worth it. It's not worth it. That's a bad

It was his middle name is Jumbelingham, which means big cock So worth it. Same worth it, that's a bad it was. His middle name is Jumbo Lingam, which means big cock. He's a jumbo. Jumbo. You're a middle name, right? Is that your middle name? Jumbo.

On the street. Brian Jumbo Lingam, in the sock circles. In the, uh, origin, give some corn bars. Sure. I think you're gonna find that one. You won't find that one. You might find it. Oh, there it is.

There it is. I'll tick-tock. Riggly field, uh, that's a big deal. His, his, his dreams the night, man. Riggly with his last. The night man really that's his that's his name from Starship troopers That was his name in the movie from starship troopers Starship Nobody's in the Oh

It's up to the side the crowd's not feeling it. There feeling it. Remember, he had one of our buddies bring a baseball and a baseball to the night before we did a screening. So he could throw at the... Yeah, you got a practice. You could practice. Yeah, you got a practice. He did a little bit, it just didn't help out. The mound's up too.

Yeah. Because like the dodges, you can elect to go from the mound or closer. Yeah. You see the card, Ashings, Kevin Hart, they all do it closer. You got to get on the mound. I'm getting on the fucking mound. We did the dodges on the mound.

We did the mound. You did the mound, yeah, you got to. But people don't realize the mound, it's higher. So it's kind of thrown down. When I was doing school, I was working with a lot of kid actors. I cannot, I was playing the coach, right? So I cannot tell you how many kids couldn't throw a ball, 14 year old. Sure.

Probably would act as, when I'm telling you, I'm telling you, they grew up acting and I'm playing with kids. They couldn't throw a ball 14 year old. Sure. When I'm telling you, I'm telling you. They grew up acting. They couldn't throw a baseball or a football. It was just unimaginable. It's not what they do though. Never done it. You supposed to teach him your coach. And these kids are supposed to teach him.

Where are you coach? I'll teach you. Mom, the dad was around. The mom was like, thank you. Oh, good actress tonight. I remember there's a famous actress and her, she, son didn't have a father. And I spent some time with him.

And I was so apparent to me this young boy who was probably 11, I don't know, had never just been around a guy. Never been a fucking around a guy who could teach him how to do shit. I'll teach him how to, like, do you, like, guy stuff. We were fucking around with a ball football.

Fix his balls. Fix your balls. Throw a punch. Throw a spiral. Hey, he just likes a pizza. Yeah, I'm saying it. I'm in the butt. Yeah, I'm in the butt.

Doing the butt. Yeah, but don't look around that way. Well, you need a father for you to teach you, like, you know, just make sure. Look around. You know, you need a father figure for to teach you like you know just make sure look what you know You need a father figure for whatever is it my my nephew My two nephews torture my younger nephew is there younger brother But you need brothers or men around to fuck with you a little bit. Yeah, he's you

Yeah, you're not so sensitive. Yeah, I'm gonna teach you about the house of pain. Yeah It's a pain in this world, But that's how guys test each other, they fuck with each other. It's like, come on man, we're just bonding here. We're just fucking on. Yeah, it's not serious. Instead of taking it. What do you got, Chin?

All right, first one is from this Northwestern coach. So this is not. Okay, so let me be honest here. So this coach, it's hazing. So Patrick Fitzgerald, he was an all-American linebacker at Northwestern University. He went, that I've told you, when I went to University of Colorado football camp,

he was my coach and he was all, Oh no, shit, he was off to me. He made, he's like, oh, you never make it your feet are too big. You know, obviously I made it. So suck on that. So that's what I've, I've never liked a guy. I've never liked a guy, but he is a good coach. So this article comes out. You knew him? Yes. He's very mean to me as a kid. Really? Yeah. Super mean. Said my feet were too big. I'll never make it. So that's

cool. So you loved seeing this story. I don't with this. But what I think is going on says Northwestern players, alleged hazing, clues, barbaric, coarse sexual acts. Yeah. Yeah. When you go down, when you read about it, I grew up in locker rooms. Yeah, sure. And when you read this, like, oh, it's just a bunch of gay dudes on Northwestern. That's all this is. Like, some of the hazy.

So it said the current player claimed coach Pat Fitzgerald who's spending without pay for two weeks, it's gonna be way longer than that after this. Oh, it might have been aware. He was not hazing. No, no. But he wasn't one of the guys. But if a freshman messed up, they have a sign

where they circle around their head. He would throw that sign up when the kid messed up. When the older players know, go for him. That's supposedly with these kids. I see, I see. So they call it running. So I'm involved being restrained by a group of eight to 10 upper class men dressed in math

who would then dry hump the victim in a dark locker room. Okay. In shock and experience as fresh see your fellow freshman teammates get ran, keep going. But then it gets really homophobic. Keep going down. Everyone just look at each other and be like, bro, fits and knows about this.

Everyone joins in because he's the coach. There's a part there, keep going. And is it a fact that the coach knew that the subject don't make it had performed in Bearcrawling? Bearcrawling, so they'd run around. They called the car wash in which some players would stand naked at the entrance of the showers and spin around, forcing anyone to enter to rub up against them.

It's like, I grew up in locker room, man. That stuff, I've been in a million locker rooms. Nobody ever was naked in the shower rubbing up against them. Yeah, no, no. I think just some of the North Western players are scared to come out of the closet. Yeah, it's really weird. Is that weird?

I'm gonna put my dick all over you, dude. You better take it. This is hazy. I've heard plenty of those stories though. Hold your arms above your head and start clapping because I'm gonna fucking dick mash you. I've heard of those stories though. Yeah, like that kind of shit going on.

Yeah, me too. They're called when guys like each other. To me fuck. Yeah. In the butt. Yeah, it straddles the going on. Yeah, me too. They're called when guys like each other. Fuck. Yeah. In the butt. Yeah, it straddles the line a little bit, but, I mean, I've heard that. There's a fine line.

There is. I don't believe it. But it was never a routine thing where like, it's Friday, shower day, like we're all gonna pull out. No, but like, you know, like circle jerks and shit like that, you know, I've never done it either. I mean, I'm just saying, I've heard stories. I mean, I heard this that I thought was a good mind fuck.

These Navy SEALs were freezing on this rock and the waves were crashing over them and the instructor goes, first guy who gets a hard on, if you get, if one of you guys can get a hard on this freezing cold, you can fucking get out of here. Yeah, mission possible. Now that, now I'm doing, I can't if I'm- Sure, to get a hard one, right?

That's where you use your mind. It's not, haze it. No, that's more like a mind- See, I would be fine because I'm always hard. Oh, no, we looked down just ahead of us just to get it possible. It's a Latin thing, right here. It's still rude, yeah. It's a Latino thing. All's still rude. It's a Latino thing.

All right, so that guy could fire? He's spending two weeks suspension for investigation. Can I get him a call? But then more kids came up. But then I heard today on the news that the kid that started all this wanted to get him fired so they don't know how real it is. Can I say, okay. The kid had like a vendetta.

Sure, sure, sure. That happens a lot too now. Yeah, that happens a lot too now. Yeah, that happens a lot. Who's your canceled culture? Like get him. Like if you don't get playing time, or whatever it is, you're gonna throw.

Yeah, that's so fucked up. They said a former player and a current player, so whatever that is. But if that guy was beloved, it wouldn't stick. I mean, I think it may be you know. It might be because in your story, that the guy is not that great of a guy, you know, maybe that's not to me Now maybe you've done a rough day or a fleet your feet were to 11. Do you?

Is that like the one like like like let's say you're in a bar like obviously your professional fighter You're trained to not get pissed off at people like because I'm sure guys come up here and want to fight never never never Steve guys are always trying to fucking this bike is hanging out bars Never never You guys are always trying to fucking this like these hang out bars Right okay, but like with the feet if somebody was like yeah, what's up big foot with that fucking trigger? No, not at all. It takes they don't have to hit my kid or wife or something. Okay, you take a lot. Okay, I'm a ton Okay, okay, okay, are you you're not mad at me right now for saying no not at all big feet are cool, man You know what I kind of poke this here about big feet, right? Yeah, you know, you know, you get says put on

Thanks, bro. You know what they say about Big Feet, right? You know, you know, you get a good sense of what I'm saying. Thanks, bro. You said you, man. You want to put your whole foot over here, man, right? No, no. Kind of feet, little foot. Big back. Big back, soft feet. Big back.

All right, let's just see you and get a heart on first, guys. Come on, here we go. Let's go. Here we go, guys. Yeah, it's already hard. All right, here we go. So this one real quick. So apparently, people noticed after the whole, you know,

Kid Rock protesting against Bud Light. Apparently some fans notice that Kid Rock's bars were still selling, we still selling Bud Light. We drove by the bar in Nashville. So were they still selling Bud Light? These all? I don't know, probably. Well people were taking pictures of themselves in his bar.

Yeah, so there's one picture here. I think the whole thing's like there. It is silly, but yeah. I drink by light and I drink by the wide area. I don't care what you guys fucking say. Exactly. If you don't care what you guys say. I don't care.

I mean, I'd assume you'd suck me off, but sure. That will too. Well, I was at the Padre's game. I was with my brother and my opener Brett Forte. And I don't really drink beer. I don't drink it, but they want beer. So I'm like, you guys get some beer, so you're going on the app. And I see it's like Modella, Cors, it's like $16, $16,

Bud Light, $7. It's like the price is so much of it. Oh, they're dropping, huh? So I order the beer, they're not Bud Light, right? Well, you did because it was cheaper. No, I didn't, I didn't want that heat. So when the guy came over, I go, he meant real quick, How long you been doing

this? He's like, Oh man, 30 years. I was cool. I said, I said, anybody ordered Bud Light today? It was not one, not a single. But I got to tell them half the price. He does, it does get like, they're worried about what people are going to say or the way they're going to look. That's insane. I'll just buy the Bud Light, put them in a clear cup and save money. There are some places, there are some places like in the US, like South Carolina where I was just at Greenville, great town. Have you done Greenville?

No. Great town. But it's the Bible belt. Yeah. And there are some things that it's a, it's still, it's still to a degree, like if you just go outside that town, it's a segregated part of the world. Yeah, yeah.

And there are certain things that are, you don't make fun of certain things. It's a really weird thing, because it's kind of like, there's an LGBT community there. And that's kind of, yeah. But overall, if you start making fun of white people, which sometimes I do in my act now,

be careful, because you gotta make sure it's couched with other shit, because they clam up. They're just like black MC was like, do you see how tight they got when you started making fun of black white people? I was like, I know, I was just, but with also but it's just a miscalculation. It's like, no, you're demo dude. It's like me making fun of dudes. No, you're demo. No, you're demo dude. I guess that one, who gives a fuck. I mean, really, it's just No, you're a damn- No, you're a damn- No, you're a damn- I guess, who gives a fuck? I mean, really, it's just fucking beer, right? And these people are still like, this fucking assholes like shooting the beer

with a machine gun? It's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen. He's a gay, he's a- It's a fucking beer. Who gives a shit? Well, I think people are so tired of the gender ideology, not because- I guess so, but-

You're a matter of the cancel culture, and that's cancel culture. Yeah, but that's an economic boycott. That might be a little bit... Same thing, it's the same thing. It's still can't. Under a different name. You can't be, I get his point.

But I think the reason why people are... People are triggered because it's when it's forced. It's like, dude, don't pick a side, just make... I can't. Why? I would say that it's triggered because there's something inside of them. No, I don't think so. It might be gay. I think in this case surprising to people that they, for most Americans, the line that you draw, is when you start trying to indoctrinate children into your what's called ideologies.

Yeah, that's a dog whistle. That's a dog whistle. It is not going off. It is not going off. I'm with him on this, like most like transgender and stuff like that. They don't, they don't subscribe to that. I agree. That's a small minority. That's like saying all people are telling her in the mafia.

No, your algorithm is lying to you. Right. Yeah, like most trans people are like, what? We don't want a dance front of kids. Right. But they push that. And that's the way she ends up. It's also selling.

But it's also a small drag down there to make people angry. People don't like what's very interesting about a man on the drag right there. Yes, but what's funny about America and I was like pride used to be a thing where you were gay, you were on the outside looking in and it was like, you know, it was very hard to be gay.

We're gonna have a parade and just celebrate survival. Pride has now been co-opted by every corporation. So you're mainstream and it's all, you've just been enveloped into the capitalist market structure. It's all good. And I think people see a lot of these corporations using trans, using this stuff as just a way to sell more product.

They don't like being, they don't like being sh- shul- too. And I do think that this gender, this idea that, for example, biological men in women's sports, biological men being able to say, I'm a woman and I'm going to a female president getting two inmates pregnant like they didn't call for- Oh, come on, that is awesome. That did happen. That did not happen.

That happened here in California. No way. Look it up. Okay. Not only that. Okay. And then saying, well, I can be in a women's locker room as a fully intact male and my daughter's changing in that. Now, that may be rare, but that is what happens with people

as they go. It may be that those are stories that are sensational, which I agree with. They are. It's definitely the outline. It does definitely the outline. But if that becomes, see, oh, then you're a post.

Oh yeah, okay. All right, but it is, but it did happen. Okay. And in Scotland now you have people with the new law where you can say, I'm a woman, after three months, you don't have to have anything, you can just have a beard, whatever. If you are a woman, you are put in a Scottish prison now there's now a

referendum say hold on if you're a sexual assault you know if you've committed a sexual assault you can't do that what i'm saying is that there's no difference gender ideology has has become a an issue people have to deal with and parents go wait well to become people because some people are amplifying it more than it really exists. I agree with you. That's a nice one. I think it's very rare.

I don't know anybody who's dealing with it. Do you? Like, I don't know. I was talking to anybody who's like anti-gay, anti-gay. Well, I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this one story. Yeah, I want to know where you. I'll tell you this one story.

Is that my kids play sports. My daughter plays, my daughter plays lacrosse. And remember the first thing I went to, and there was a kid out there, my daughter plays, my daughter's played lacrosse. And I remember the first thing I went to, and there was a kid out there, a trans kid, who was biological boy, playing in the girl's league. And I was like, what the fuck? Scorched 60 goals. Yeah, no, didn't score 60 goals,

because they didn't. Yeah. And so I was like, what the fuck? And I was furious, and I was furious, and I went to my daughters, and I was like, doesn't that piss you off? And I was like, that thing, and their position is totally different.

We look at it as a fairness thing. They don't look at it that way, right? They said to me, dad, everyone feels like they everyone should have the chance to belong to something. Everyone should have the chance to belong. And that kid, how do you play in the cross should belong.

How do you feel about Leah Thomas? Leah Thomas is such an outlier. But you know what this is? And it exists, but who gives it not that such an outlier. But you know what this, and it exists, but who gives it not that big an outlier? Who gives it shit? It is an outlier. It's the exception.

That's the one everyone calls. It's not like every pool you go to, there's a transgender. There are thousands of kids playing lacrosse and soccer, whatever. And CWA picked it up as an acceptable law. That's where it gets law. So hold on, so let me just keep going. Yeah.

So you have your daughter who is a biological female. Yeah. She has worked very hard for her all-American status. This is where we're into this fairness thing. Go ahead. Yes. Yeah. And by the way, there are scholarships involved and everything else. And a kid in high school who's a biological male, the first three biological males, come along and take that all American status and that doesn't happen but okay. It does not happen but okay. It happens for his example, that one time, but my thing with the lacrosse, I mean, that doesn't trump up.

But that doesn't bother you though. You don't have to. It doesn't bother me because you know what, as society, we should have a world where people are comfortable being who they are and And who gives a fuck about who wins the 14 year old girls lacrosse team. The girls too. And who fuck the girls too? No, they don't.

Because I've talked to them about it. But let me show you the character. I talked to him. I told you. Would you care if that transgender player that from male to female, let's say he or whatever he goes by pronouns, let's say he scored 60 goals

and gave your daughter a concussion because he's biologically a male. Then would you like, hold on here. Now just because that person was bad at lacrosse, so you think that the bio-loss, but it's gonna be the problem. It's gonna be the problem. So you're saying, you're saying biological males,

if they identify as females, it'd be allowed to be in any female sport. This is the problem, is that you guys think that there are people out there who are trying to get ahead and playing in these other sports, but they just want to be a part of a team. Like anybody else. I think the majority, and they should be. I think the majority of a transgender team.

No, because then it's separate but equal, right? Isn't that the same exact thing? So then you think that being, so this is very important though. Yeah. So you're saying that? So then you think that being, so this is very important though. Yeah. So you're saying that, you're saying that that female or a male is a feeling. Oh, he's great. Say that again. You're saying that a male or a man or a woman is a feeling, it's just a feeling, right?

Well, I don't know, I don't experience that situation. But we have to have a standard because if we're gonna move forward with policy at the level of detest. Sure, okay. You have to be able to define these things. So if you are going to say that it's a man, I'm a man, you know, I'm a 20 year old man, I'm 64, whatever I am,

and I'm going to now get into women's swimming and be the greatest female swimmer and be recognized for it, which is what happened with Leah Thomas, who by the way is a fully intact male and was in the locker room with those women, okay? Okay. Fully intact. They did not feel comfortable.

I don't know that's the case, but okay. That is the case. I don't know that's the case. But it is because I followed it. You were in the locker room with them? No, I've listened to Routy Gaines and the other people talk about it. The other women were, were, were, said. Is Routy Gaines the woman who woman who yes and she's she was the best

swimmer in the country i guess and she not i guess kev you're saying i guess no no i'm saying i'm saying i don't really hold much stock in what she says why she was the best swimmer in the country well she worked really hard to be that so you're saying that in by the way she tied and they gave leotamas the award you know why because she? Because she's a, she's a, but be real quick, Leah Thomas was ranked what when she was a male. 435.

Was she ranked now as a female? Number one, that's not fair. That's a problem. But see, that's my point. You're worried about fairness. I'm supposed to be a female. I know I'm worried about, but then you should play sports.

So I don't think that's true. I mean, why should you now plan a team and have, I mean, that's the, but we say, because if you can, if you play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long.

I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long.

I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. I don't know how to play sports for so long. have that experience too. They should have that experience. Yes, but we should also have something called fairness. Men, can I give you a point?

I know, but that's my point. That's my point. You're looking at it from this perspective of fairness and then these people don't look at it that way. That they do women are known. Women for the vast majority of females, athletes and mothers in this country, vast majority, well over 75%. That's, this is a stat.

Let me just give you some stats. Well over 75%, but it might be 85% Disagree with you. How do you get your stats from how do you know that take these poles that can and where they take it Poles all the time bring it up. Some different multiple sources buddy. I'm telling you I All the women I feel I meet are like shocked that that men are all of a sudden trying to protect the women's sports There are tons of pros of women's sports tons of them and the first one and that for top ten of them are having nothing to do the transition so let's go back to this so again you think that a man or a woman is a feeling so it's just a

declaration and if it is a declaration okay but yeah then what are you saying because we have to come to a see i'm saying that i have nothing against trans people i'm saying what i don't even know what it means to be trans people. I couldn't even experience it. And neither can you. You don't know what it most, and I'll be comfortable in your own skin. You know, I guess it's in sports.

Look, you don't know. I'm going to come to a world. Look at this. Look at this. We've had this conversation. This is this is every time. I do it. Kevin, every pull.

But it doesn't matter. Forget that. Absolutely. Forget that pull. What I'm trying to say is I think that's a hell of a Relevant what I have to do is this we have to at least come to a conclusion. Yeah at the level of detail to run policy That's fine. It does matter fairness does matter so And that conclusion should come to the point where we don't shit on people for who they are But saying what about what they are? They're vilified. These people are being vilified. There's no question about it

I think I think Lea Thomas is a grifter. I really think that she did it to be number one. Yes, I do. See, that's the difference. That's, I don't believe that. And you think she did just a few. I think she did it because she is the best female swimmer in the world.

Women's women, you say Leot Thomas. Well, I don't know, that's semantics. It's not semantics when the answer to the title is on the line. I know, I don't even, who cares? No, but there's the point. I know, but you're gonna create rules that will vilify people.

We have rules. Because you want to figure out what's fair to you, right? No, no, but they don't look at it that way. We have rules, my friend. And the rules are that we have women's and men's sports for a very specific reason and that reason is that i'll give it to you the best fifteen year old and under soccer players in the country yeah beat the u.s. national women's team five to nothing fifteen and under boys do you know that story i don't okay

that is the that is the that is the discrepancy physically between men and women And that's just a fact. Oh, I see. Yes, that's fine So when you when you come in there and take a woman's Olympic silver medal gold medal bronze medal away because you are And who did that who did that when you are? That much stronger well, what medals have been taken away? Who did it? You know me at times and taking a minute Olympic Well for anybody no she took an NCAA Championship and second place and she changed the whole race She decided all of a sudden that she was a woman, but if that's a priority game. What's your name? Routing game? Riley gains

Yeah, right if she came up to that podium and she said you know what I get it. I get it You guys are upset and I'm upset too But the real it is I'm confident in my abilities and the skills and what I've done in my life. And I'm proud to live in a country. I'm proud to live in a country and be part of an organization that is inclusive and that helps people feel like they belong to something that they're comfortable with. We're very inclusive. No, we're not. Be comfortable who we are. If she said that, I'd wear a fucking t-shirt, but she didn't. She went around the country,

like, you know, sponsored by turning point, or these fucking places are. Yeah, she did. Yeah, she absolutely did. She's a common sense and fairness. No, you know, she sounds like. She sounds petty. She sounds petty.

Kevin, she's, she's, stack of sacrifice to her whole life to be the best partner. But Kevin, she's, she's sacrificed her whole life to be the best part of her life. But Kevin, let me ask you this, would you have a problem? Like, I know it's all like, did you have fun though, right? But it's also, what if more transgenders start going into female sports, and then now it's not just Leah Thompson, now one through five are placing that were formerly

men, now they're female. Right. And then finance female. You got to do something. And then women cannot compete. That's what's gonna happen, they're not gonna compete. I don't think that's gonna happen. I know it's gonna happen, but that's the slippery slope of argument, right? That's the slippery slope. You open that door,

but if you open that door, and the men are like, hold up. Maybe we figured out what the situation is then, but I don't know that's gonna happen. Do you think though that there is, that we should have a conversation around the definitions of a man and a woman and should those include biology or should they just include the idea that I say this so I should be included.

Because if you're sure, sure, this include biology. Okay, but that's what I'm saying is that we have to figure that's what I object to. Yeah. When a new gender ideology comes along and says, by the way, I'm a woman, I've decided, and you have to acknowledge that. That is a religious point of view, right? So the ideas don't that made me because I have a new birth, I'm reborn. It's very similar to actually,

it's very similar to Christianity. I guess, but I feel like what you're doing is trivializing that decision and that announcement. And I think people struggle with that for a very long time. At some point, because I think you're saying like, hey, I've just decided I'm just gonna be a woman. I've just decided that,

but I think people struggle with that for a long time. Of course they do. It's a very hard thing, especially with the animosity that goes with it. Well, you're doing a saying, hey, there are people who have real gender dysphoria and they kill themselves as a result. Correct.

They do. Let's figure that out. So you're coming from this from a very compassionate, inclusive way. And God bless. Yes. I'm not arguing that you're wrong in that respect that we're all right.

But then you don't have the same compassionate when it comes to the sports. Yeah. Like as long as there be a mental participant. I guess but I think it's equal. I think it's equal. I think. same compassionate when it comes to the sports. You like, yeah, as long as there being a part is I guess, but I don't think it's equal. I think, oh, so you think the inclusion. I think whoever, I think the inclusion in our society

is more important than whoever wins the 15 year old soccer game. Let me ask you a question. That's what I believe. Kevin, let me ask you. And we have to sacrifice one for the other sometimes. Okay, so then, so then whatever I say, I am, you're gonna lose a lot of games. Yeah, we might, we might.

But who cares But why can't what Ryan was saying why can't there be why can't there be another? You know, what if I said I was black and I want you to treat me like I'm black and I want benefits as a black person I didn't use the Hitler. I want to be able to do it all What would you say then because that's a feeling? No, I don't think that's not the same thing. It why tell me why logically Logically why well because well first of all, I don't think that's not the same thing. It why? Tell me why, logically. Logically why? Well, because, first of all, I don't think that we understand

what it means to be a French. It's more plausible that I have some black in me than I'd be intersex, right? Sure. So you can do your 23 and me. My friend's 18% African American, but he looks Italian as fuck, right? I think it's Frank Grillo.

Now Frank could say, by the way, I actually have some African American, I'm sub-Saharan African, and I want you to treat me as black what so so we could what about that i don't think it's the same thing why why i don't think that there's a uh... that same struggle i don't think there's an internal struggle trying to figure

out you know who you are i know that's our problem let's get a pull up bar and let's see what the fuck happens i'll lose i want to see i want to see your back. I'll lose. But he does not care. Oh, he doesn't care. But I don't care. But you know what I'm saying, though? You don't see that there's a lot of problems.

I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems.

I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don't think there's a lot of problems. I don're running a society, we probably do. We probably do. But I think whatever role I make would go more towards the inclusiveness as opposed to the fairness,

which I think we're different there. Okay, so you're different. But don't you, you have to have fairness in sports, right? But you're saying sport, we'd rather than be old. I guess so. I guess so. But being fair is inclusive, right?

So isn't being fair, fair and inclusion are absolutely lockstep shoulder to shoulder. I don't know that they are. So I would say this, to be inclusive, like I want to be included in this, if you exclude me it's unfair, right? So if I'm over here, I'm unfair. I think when you introduce someone who has a physical advantage because that they were born with,

because they are males and it's a physical activity. It seems to me that that person's presence is rather exclusionary to the entire field that has been practicing. I don't buy that. I don't buy that. I don't buy that. So then Lebron James should be able to join the top. I think you're just twisting words around

to fit what you want them to be. I'm not. Lebron James should be able to join the top words around if you want them to be. I'm not. LeBron James should be able to join the WMBA and score 1,000 points. Do you have to say I'm gonna, I know I'm used to it. But that's not a real situation. But when you're headed that way, when I don't know who you are, I don't know who you are. What if we do though, right?

So you have to do it. We'll deal with that when it happens. But we don't have to. We're dealing with it now. Leotops is a classic, you say? That's one person. It's one person. It's one with that when it happens, but we don't have to deal with it. We're dealing with it now, Lea Thompson. We're not. That's one person. It's one person. It's one person.

But it happens. And it's the one that every, it's that boogie man. Everyone wants to talk about it. And there was a great deal of activity to make sure it happened a lot. But I think of enough people come out, like transgender come out, that they can have their own league, right?

Would that be okay? Is that the answer? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I'm not transgender, so I don't know. I think what it is, you just feel like the, it's interesting, because you, you are, you hold inclusion to be the highest rig, I'm not in the highest regard. And when it comes to sports, well, I think it's an individual perception of what fairness is. Right. You know, and I think that's different from people. That's fair.

It's the perfect. Yeah, I think at high level sports, but you have the collegiate level when you talk about champions and NCAA That the fairness it there has to be fair they'll have to start from the same even in high school I mean high school sure, but I'm talking about major consequences in college level. Oh, yeah You know, you're talking about scholarships. You're talking about and also what you're doing I think it's you are you know, taking the one also, what you're doing is you're taking the ball and rolling down the field is getting moss, and the moss really isn't there. Like, it's, there's just fear of this problem

that I don't think it exists. I think it exists, but not the level of things that you have over it. It's not that I have the anxiety over it. It's what I think we're going down a slippery slope. I'm not anxious about the individual. I'm not anxious about the individual. I'm not anxious about the individuals. I get anxious about the actual mindset

and ideology that goes along with it. And that ideology is not logical because it's impossible. Because what you were then saying is that how someone feels, what you're doing two things. You're doing two things. Well, I don't know. You're putting a definition on it. That may not be the right definition.

We are getting rid of categories. But you're doing two things. Well, I don't know. You're putting a definition on it. That may not be the right definition. We are getting rid of cataracts. But you're talking about the gender situation being about someone how they feel or whatever. I mean, I can't speak to that. Neither can you. I can't speak to how you have an experience. Because societies ordered a long gender, there are gender lines, right?

So should we get rid of the idea? Some people would argue there aren't. So should we get rid of the idea? Should we get rid of pronouns altogether? Well, the pronouns are another thing. You guys get so hooked up. You guys, I'm sorry, I don't mean to say that, but people who are ready to know what to do. I didn't know what pronouns were until I was forced to say my pronouns. I don't give a sh- I mean, like, whenever you want to call, I don't give a sh-

I don't give a sh- about pronouns. Right. You know, call yourself whatever you want to be called. But sh- I care if you get upset at me if I met, like, I don't care. You should about pronouns. Right. You know, call yourself whatever you want to be called. But shut the air. I care if you get upset at me if I met, like I'm just supposed to know you're from... Yeah, but you're, that's the same as someone getting upset at something stupid. Everyone gets upset. Like they're being, like,

you're not good at it. They're being men's and women's sports. Should there be men's, yes. They should. Why? Yes. Why? Because I think predominantly that's the situation.

Okay, but I mean, what I'm trying to say, and I agree, but what I'm saying is that there's a demarcation there, right? There are men and male and female sports are men and women, right? And why is that? Probably because it may, We know where that is.

Yeah, it's more coming. So when you were, Serena Williams said, I don't wanna play you any Murray, you've crushed me, the best tennis player. She, I think Serena said the number 500 tennis player,

the men's tennis player, she would never change the position. Yeah, some crazy. The 300 players have to be so. And so, so that's why we have, I love watching tennis, right? So I'm watching Wilmilton now. I love watching the women just as much

as I love watching the men. I love watching female MMA fighters, pretty much just as much as I love watching the women. I really do. Because I think sometimes the skill level, I don't. In a lot of these, but the skill level in a. Yeah, I really do. Because I think sometimes the skill level, I don't. In a lot of these,

but the skill level in a lot of these forces, really similar. They're just not a strong fast, all that stuff. Yeah. But I enjoy watching them, because I like watching the competition. I like the ferocity of competition. I root for certain players.

We got it. Right? Yeah. That is probably why, because the playing field becomes more competitive and fairer, frankly. Right? And so to introduce a man who is inconsequential in the mail field at a thousand, comes

in and wins, you don't see a problem with that. It may be a problem, but that's an outlier. And the reality is, the way I look at it is we love playing sports. We all do. We've played sports, right? And we do it partly because of the camaraderie and to be a part of something, and to be a part of a team. And people should have that opportunity.

And I think that the, I think it's a far in frequent situation than what you're talking about. It's just an infrequent thing where it doesn't really affect the world or us as opposed to vilifying a group of people who just want to be a part of society, a part of the belong to something. And I think that feeling is more important than every kind of permutation you can think of of a slippery slope of how it undermines our world somehow. You know what I mean? She won the swimming thing. Who gives a fuck? He couldn't have named 10 swimmers before she did it. And I know it's offensive to the people

who maybe in your mind should have that position. But like I said, if I was that person, I'd be like, you know what? I believe in inclusivity. And I believe that this person feel like they should belong. And I will make that sacrifice, right? That's what Jesus Christ did.

You'll make that person. That? That's what Jesus Christ did. You'll make that sacrifice. That was Jesus Christ. Yes. I love your generosity of spirit, right? I think, and I understand where it's coming from, it's that I start to go, hold on now, you cannot run a side of that way without defining certain things. Wow.

And if I can, what a man and woman is. With that. I mean, look at L.A.s doing that, we're crushing it. So yeah, right? So children, so what happens, Cap, as it goes into, it goes, it really does bleed into children. It really does,

now you start calling, you start calling irreparable, irreparable surgeries, irreparable drugs like puberty blockers. That causes a real ally again. Boogie men. Boogie men. So then if that's a boogie man, please tell me why the Tavistock clinic in England has over a thousand lawsuits.

I don't know. I can't do it. I can't speak to that. I do. Yeah. A thousand lawsuits and you can't force to shut down. You also thought you were in Starship Troopers. Yes, that's just right.

You know what I'm saying? Does that really get us all? We've got to have these conversations and define those things. Otherwise, what happens is it becomes cave. I guess my thing is I think as a parent I have a baby girl on the way. If she was the one that Lea Thompson be,

I would be fury. Right now. I would, and I'd be like, what kind of feeling? Yeah, I'd be on Fox, but I she would have that feel she might not my daughter Well, she's not gonna eat they didn't stand the podium not gonna eat yeah, right? That's too bad. No, it's too bad, but it's also understandable. I told you understandable. Yeah, I don't know Yeah, I think it's kind of an ally and you know what if I were those girls, I don't know I feel like I would say you the great deal expected to I would say you know you understand what this person is going through and

You want to be supportive? Well, they did and by the way they also knew I think that's they're also told if they speak up That they would be fine who told them by the by the NC double a swimming I'd be surprised that and they all said that had. And they all said that. And I'd be surprised that had. And if you're so surprised by it, why was Riley Gaines and you can see it on video, you can just bring it up, why was she not able to get out of her fucking classroom when those activists wouldn't let her out and they were screaming at her? Well, I thought different, I've been around.

I've been around. These people are all, I've been around. I've had different reviews of that. I heard someone had a hand on her shoulder. Have you seen the video? Yeah, I've seen it. Okay. I guess what gets nice for me is I think there's some people that actually it's a very small percentage.

I'm about less than 1% of the population in North America. The world I don't know, but in North America 1%, I think some people are actually born in the wrong body and it must be awful, I can't imagine. And I think there's some people where it's, it could be a mental health thing. Where they feel like they need the surgery, they get the surgery, we've seen people

that get the surgery, they're more suicidal, maybe they made a mistake. I think that's where you can line. And you can line up. That's where lines get blurred, you know? Yes. I think there's some people, it must be off, like getting mad.

Yeah, yeah, sure. And then there's somewhere's just like, you're just confused at 12. Yeah, I'm not think there's any kind of blanket statement about it, you know, it affects people the same way or whatever it is. So I don't disagree. I think we get muddled up with the ideas.

Like you don't wanna make fun of somebody for being, you know, for, like I don't either. And I don't want them to feel that. And they are a group, they are a group people despite, they are group people who have been vilified. And they're misunderstood. Yes, yes. And they don't have a lot of champions.

I'm not into that. Yeah, yeah. You know, I don't wanna hurt somebody. It's like we've had, we've had transgender people on this podcast. Do we have it? Yes, we have. Who?

Warrior Princess, the Navy Seal? Oh, yeah, Kristen Beck, the Navy Seal. I mean, don't act like it's like it's once a week. Yeah, but I've had one Navy Seal. I worked on Mad TV with somebody who was a fully, fully transitioned. Yeah. So this guy who's trying not to sound right now.

Like, I have a black friend. But is that, no, that guy eating z exists. That coffee. The gender dysphoria, whatever you want to call it exists. And the suicide rate is higher. It's so so here's a stat for you just to back you up for that. I have another standard people kill themselves almost at a 40. I think it's 47% 42 between 42 and 47. Now, that's terrible, right? You know, even in slavery, back in slavery, like in the United States, the suicide rate wasn't that high.

So the only people that have the same suicide rate are paranoid skits or frenix. So it's a fucking terrible thing. So if you have a child that kills themselves because of their transgender, this is where the passion comes in. Because people are like, well, how do we stop this? Well, you're saying they kill themselves because they're transgender or because they're denying who they are? I think it's because they were born in the wrong body and and unfortunately I'm just saying your status is in favor of what is that is that is that?

No, I understand I understand the passion behind trying to protect them. I understand the understanding of what you're doing to storm the cap No, I understand you say hey man I like we need like why not be inclusive like I get it. Yeah, I just think I Think it's worth going about the wrong way going about being close the wrong way. Yeah, I do I think we're going about it and I don't think it's Even a fraction of a big as a problem when our I agree with that I agree with that. Yeah, I think you're right. I think I think I think it makes a fortune. The news makes a fortune of taking these these extreme examples and your algorithm lies just

Who you know this guy, am I right? No, I just worry about that he stuck it to you. I don't know that I did stick it to you But I mean boy, when an old tangent though, didn't we? Oh boy. I enjoyed it. You've said zero words. Yeah, and I appreciate that. But I've never had a conversation with conversations. I've never had anybody defend it like that. Oh, I love it. I live for this conflict. So Kevin is a as a lawyer in two states. Are you? I am. Yeah. You're a lawyer. Yeah. Ah, you, you have your law degree. I do. Get the fuck out of here. He represented a time. A fight in the fuck out of here. He represent a Find a fucking cover. He's out there what I would have done. What cases do you what do you what do you?

study I Graduate from law school and then we started making movies I remember would you go to law school? I went to Brooklyn law school you mother fucker. You lawyer. He's a smart fucking dude I'm in the hustle over here. I've had these conversations with him several times. It's tough to win, right? Well, you know what, there is no winning. That's the thing. Well, because he's a lawyer. He's a lawyer.

And lawyers focus on the fucking outlying situations. No, but it's, you know, it's interesting though, because it's like, it is as a professional debater, you realize that there are, like, there are times where it's like, there's no fucking point in having this conversation because whatever you say there's going to be Another we know we arrived at a conclusion. Oh, I don't know you read that completely The inclusion is more important than fairness and he's not American. He's also a cop's on American So we know he's a communist very American

And I drink fucking Budweiser too, like an American. Like a Bud Light. American's drink Budweiser. I think Dylan Mulfayne, that transgender woman is trolling everybody anyway. Well now she's pissed, right? She's pissed at Bud Light because they didn't stick by her. Right.

I think Bud Light needs to lean in to him, just go gay or? If I'm there, am I really leaning in? That was the Farley wasn't that farly like bud gay, but gay was it was that Farley Remember their big commercial when I was kid was like what Yeah, they could redo that What's your state? Yeah California? No, this was great Schmitz gay. Yeah, that's right. Oh, this is oh, we can't play but we'll play it's for us. That's great California no this was great Oh, this is we can't play a bit. Well, it's for us. That's great So funny I'm a fan if I'm but I just lean into it like they sponsor the gay pride thing Yeah, people I guess ridiculous. I'm like no, they're doing exactly what they should do like at least have some audience

Well, that definitely the market got moved a little bit on them, I guess. So I don't know, maybe that's part of the problem. Yeah, I don't know. Three billion. Yeah, people took that, they have not recovered. No, right? It keeps, yeah. No, but they will.

Yeah, well, they should. They should budwize her, bro. Yeah, they're budwize. The king of beer. Yeah, a little time out, he'll be fine. Americans, Americans really just, Americans can't hold the attention span. Americans are like, remember like the hole in the ozone liner or a layer or fucking acid rain? We're like, I don't know if I can

announce or we just forget about shit. It just goes away. It just depends or it ruins them. Like sometimes it can ruin companies. It'll ruin, yeah. Well, Budweiser's not going anywhere. No, I said bear it. They'll be alright. Yeah, people are like, you drink them. Well, Budweiser's not going anywhere. No, I so bear. That'd be all right. Yeah, that should be all right. People are like, you drink them. I drink Budweiser. People are like this.

I love Budweiser. You got a Budweiser. Beer can on ice is one of the finest. But would you drink it? I like a podjase game and there's like a bunch of people around. Yeah. Really? Yeah.

Most of the guys I was doing shows in Kovena and there's these guys and they were, they came in and they were a picture of their arms were all like this and like, what's behind your back? Like, I was like, what's going on? And I thought it was gonna shoot me. And the guys like, no, they came in and they were a picture of their arms where I was like, this one, what's behind your back? Like, what's going on? I thought it was gonna shoot me. And the guys like, no, no, no, no, no.

And they're butt-like. I was like, I'm like, I don't give a shit. I'm like, you're gay, but I'm gay. I'm like, shit. Yeah, I don't care. And they're like, can we take the picture out the butt-like? I'm like, you guys care, huh?

They're like, oh yeah. But you don't drink beer. You don't care. Are you a beard guy? I went to order butt-like. Yeah, no. See, but just because- Cause you don't like butt- like by light or just because you know i don't like when they push it down my throat

i like it but they don't they send me out of the guy okay i like peroni but we we we we had a marine call my on my other show goal now and uh... he's like in the barracks like he's a marines ginship over it and i I said he real quick man. Is there buttlight on like the premises like no no no no no. And he's like oh no man we don't play that shit. I'm like well hold on. You won't drink buttlight he's like no no no no. I'm like well I though like it's just that's so crazy. Yeah me too. I was like yeah that's crazy because it's like I find that my version of that is I love my badays. I love my fucking badays.

I like an ex bad day. I like it. But there is a whole chunk of dudes who are like, that's gay. I'm like, what is gay about a baday? And they're like, pretty sitting in your asshole. And I'm like, so you have a dirty fucking asshole homo fob. Yeah.

You stay there. I have the fucking most spotless asshole on this planet. Yeah, it is, yeah, it is weird what hill they die. Oh, you know, I was like, man, that is gay. Turn on the UFC. Let's watch these guys. You know, it's like, all right. But I do think that we are all fucking being told to look over here when the big problems

were over here, right? So to here, to like, like the train, that would be one. Well, the thing that's like the train, like fucking now the culture worth between right wing and left wing Republican Democrats is about things like this. It's about like fucking transgender shit, right? Or don't say gay and stuff like that. When inflation and the big things, like the real money issue, which is the amount of money we're spending and what they were statistics are on stuff, that's what actually matters.

And how much we're actually spending and career point yeah that's not sexy man no not really all of us are talking about leotamas we should be talking about fucking no we say all is you well he's a lawyer we talked about it yeah yeah I'm gonna say we came to common ground. No, he doesn't believe the girl should have sports. You guys like the days? I love it. I drank it. I drank it. I was a kid. I thought it was a water fountain. My uncle had one I've never seen him. This is sick. So, what about the toilet? Do you have one in your house? Either you guys? No, I wash my ass in the sink. He doesn't at restaurants. I've seen it. Disgusting. I mean, don't sink restaurants, but I've done it. You've done it before.

Your wife sent me a picture of you doing it, in a restaurant. When I've been in a restaurant, I've been in multiple restaurants. But like your pants are down by the sink, and he's going, just give me a second, open the door, I'm like, this is all right. And I gotta go eat finger food.

Did I stick my ass in the sink, right in front of you? Yeah, dude, and I enjoyed it. We're close. I would have a bad day. I enjoy them when people have one of my zodiacs. Oh, damn, what did you? I have three in my house. Slight flex, dude.

You have three. I do. Is it the toilet or did you add on to that? No, no, I got that. He had to put in his trailer on the set. He had the teamsters put, let me just say, fucking, let me just say something. The day in his trailer.

You want to know, God's, he asked me if, like, yes, I'll drink a bud light. I went up to the fucking most hairy tattooed fucking team today in his trailer. You want to know God's, and you're asking me if, like, yes, I'll drink a bud light. I went up to the fucking most hairy tattooed fucking teamster in season two, because the president of the network sent us bidets. Really? Well, because he and I were at dinner, we were talking about that we're sensitive Ainess people.

He was like, have you tried a bidet? I'm like, no, and he's like, I'm sending you. Send you a bidet? What's a sense of Ainess person? Sensitive A, like, if I, like on Sundays, if I've taken like three poops or something like that, my butthole gets irritated. Yeah, sometimes I underwear a night, man. I'm like, how? I'm forwarding. I gotta fix it. I gotta clean my shitter.

Because then I'm in that category. Yeah, exactly. Maybe you stayed about day, bro. Yeah, I gotta get that Tacoma money, dude. Yeah, well, you know, so I went up to the fucking teamster. This guy is definitely like, you know, Hell's Angel. Probably. And I was like, I know you hear some pussy-ass actor shit. And this is going to be pussy-ear and more

act-ery than anything you've ever heard. But will you please install a bidet in my trailer? And he fucking laughed at me. He was like, that is the fucking pussy-ass act. You should have ever fucking heard of in my life. And he went and did it. And then we did an episode about my character getting a bidet and to come after you.

Season three started, that teamster came up to me. He's like, brother, like I do. I went and finally got a fucking bidet. That shit, I live by that shit. That is the fucking, because of you, I got that fucking bidet. Keep your ass whole clean. It does, starts. Otherwise you got shit in your bag. Well, and I tell people, you can clean it because of you. I got that fucking way. Keep your ass whole clean. That starts. Otherwise you guys shit in your, you know.

Well, and I tell people, you can clean your ass all the ways. I mean, you know. Well, there's no way, like toilet day guys. He's a, no, no. He's a non-b day. Here's what I don't like about the bidet. This is my problem with it.

Was that, it's not in closing. It's not in closing. Well, it's not, there's no hot water setting on the one that we had, right? So it's cold water. Cold water, cold water shooting up your ass off. And I get hot, cause you can get no hot water setting on the one that we had right so it's cold water cold water Shoot in your ass. Oh, and I get because you get the hot. Yes, but you're up in days are like everywhere Yeah, it's a but so like the cold thing is like like to me that's a fucking wake up pick me up

And the morning that's better than a shot of espresso. It's like a nice cold ice cold on you like that. Oh, yeah It's just just praise everywhere though like. Like it is a mess, right? Well, it's wet. Well, you have to be like everything. Like everything. I prefer a faucet going down. That way you can clean it. This one.

This one. I don't splash it. That's not how I do it. You go like this. Do you put your finger? You don't know how I clean my asshole. I've seen it, dude. Do you put your finger in your ass to clean it?

I sure don't. You mean, do I go like this? I don't like it in the shower? I don't mean to get inside of my shitter. So let me just say this. I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say this.

I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say that. You do? Well, I'll just get in there and clean out. You're just gonna clean out my shitter. You're just gonna clean out my shitter. No, I don't like, you know, insert. Do you sit on his fingers?

No. What I'm saying is that if you are baking a cake, and you've got your frosting tube. Yeah. You've got your frosting on the cake, and you've got your frosting tube, you've got your frosting on the cake, and then you wipe, you wash that nozzle, you wipe it clean everything, they're still frosting inside the nozzle. I suck it out.

I don't know what you're eating. I don't know what you're eating. A lot of parts of loaf. I'm clean. So you think. So you think, hey man, this is getting crazy. You got a dirty asshole. Damn it.

I think it's clean, but it, this is getting crazy. You got a dirty asshole. Oh damn it. Yeah, a dirty asshole. I think it's claimed, but it's dirty on the inside. Because, because I'm a fucking master, a badaman. And I will, I'll sit there for like 20 extra minutes and fire the, I'll fire it. Get it up there. My butt, until my butt has no more room

and sprays it back out and stuff comes out. You're a giga, it's like, what time? It's not time for that. Like what comes out? He's a super bottom. Like food. Carrots. Carrots.

Corn. Everything. Like, you know, like, like, um, a bird, a small bird. Like, like a film, like films, you know, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, Oh, you might need those, man. You think?

You think I'm gonna do that? I'm gonna do that up in there, yeah. But I haven't had a skid mark in five years. That's what makes me John and I haven't had an itch. Oh my underwear. You don't clean your shitter? I tried my best. You're the worst.

He'll sit on a fucking public John with, he's just like fuck. I don't care. Oh see, wife's twice and he's also. That's why I tell my wife when she kept buying white underwear. I'm like, what are you doing? You know we eat dark colors. Camouflage is best. Do you?

Do you? I'm just getting shit colors. Chemiflog is best. De... You do. I'm just gonna get shit-stage. You get shit-colored underwear. Get brown. Brown stuff to find. Are you a blind wiper? Like, will you just wipe and... And smell like...

Man, this is a nightmare. Cause I'm like, I get out of here. Have you ever met a person that doesn't look? I think an hour. Would you say? Have you ever met a person that doesn't look? I've never seen a person like this. I feel like I have.

You definitely have. Yeah. We know a guy. No, not me person like this before. I feel like I have. You definitely have. We know a guy. You? No, not me. No, no, no. His ass is right now. He's not going to let me off his ass right now.

He's not going to let me off his ass right now. He's not going to let me off his ass right now. He's not going to let me off his ass right now. You could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I, I could, I could, I, I could, I, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I'm not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times.

You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times.

You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times.

You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. You're not getting happy times. What did you do to punch it? He tombstone powder. Oh, he's between them right now. But maybe if she just got out of the water, it wouldn't be a problem. I'm in charge. He's staring it down. She's on a boat. That's a lemon shark out of the rest. Oh, she's on the shark. She's on the shark. They can just walk out of the water.

I don't find this to be a very threatening situation. Yeah. I've read that you fucking rescued somebody from like a burning vehicle. Yeah. Right off the one on one. That's fucking here? Yeah. That's like a burning vehicle. Yeah, right off the one on one. That's fucking here. Yeah. That's like real fucking shit.

Yeah, it was intense. Super intense. And I, and I, I've been some like high trauma stuff and I was supposed to go to this double date dinner. I still showed up the dinner and I was just like, they're like, are you okay?

And I'd blood on my shirt. And they're like, what the fuck happened? And I was like, I should probably traumatize. I was like, I should probably go. Yeah, and I'd blood on my shirt and they're like what is the fuck happened? I was like I should probably Is it should probably go yeah, and I left yeah, were you were you a little fucked up? Yeah, glass. Oh really? Oh, he's not bad shit. Yeah, but but they the cops brought them in to be a witness to this because the guy tried to kill his family and You said that it was amazing everything Everything was on video, like everything. Oh man, they brought me in,

the California highway patrol brought me in to co-operate the story, right? So, and I'm going through everything and they write it down, write it down. And then he was like, as a promise, like TMZ's calling, and he's like, you know, sometimes celebrities, I was like, I'm not a celebrity,

like sometimes celebrities will make things up, so the news gets out there, I was like, I'm not celebrity, like sometimes celebrities will make things up so the news gets out there, I'm like, I don't want this going anywhere man. Like that's not why I did it. I'll give my story and get out of here. And so I tell him, I'm like, all right, cool man, he checks out, I'm like, yeah, no shit. So I'm leaving, he's like, you wanna see something?

And they show up on the laptop, and they have a laptop, and there's cameras all over the 101, all over the highways. They definitely have everything. I really, so he had it. So I was going to do a nice dinner side on these tight jeans and Gucci boots. And he's like, you see my porch go flying by.

The accident happens and he's see me running and my tight jeans and Gucci. He's like, you know, I'm like, I think so. They see me run through gasoline because it was a gasoline truck that the father ran into trying to commit suicide with him and his family. Oh my God. And he gets out of the car and I hit him in the car. Kids in the car.

How old? The wife died. There's four kids or three kids in the car. Like I think the oldest spray nine or ten. Oh, Jesus. Nine or ten and then I was run through gas and I remember just all the strong gasoline smell. And then when I got to the car, the, you know, mom's gone. But I didn't know what was going on.

And I thought they just got hit. And I see this guy running like this, like, chubbier like my ex-student, father, the father. Run away from the scene. I'm like, where the fuck is he going? But he's going down the 101 and then a car goes, boom hits him.

I see him boom, fall, like, well, he's dead. I'm gonna get these kids. And I look over and he pops up like a night stock, like the white walker. And he's like, whoa. Gets up and keeps running. I'm like, what the fuck is he, why was he doing that?

Because he tried to get the family. Then I got the kids out, handed off. I was like, I want nothing to do with, jump back in my car and go to dinner. Oh my God. With the cops that they're like, man, we wish you were to stay. Because that dad came back around

and he was trying to do like death by police, suicide by police. He was like trying to fight us. Like we'd love for you to put on a show for us, we came back. I'm like, boy, what have I ever? If I knew he was trying to kill his kids, I would've given him as a show. Sure, okay.

It was intense. Pull his head off his spine. Yeah, I was really fucking horrible. Oh, dude. And the kid was so young, like his mom, he's like, I want my mom and I'm like, where's your mom? He's like, she's in the front, I go to look. And the mom's, you know, bad, bad brains. And like, oh, don't look.

I'm trying to ask him his favorite like Disney movie. So I hand to the lady and she's like, I'll take him this way. I'm like, don't go that way. Go that way. She's like, why am I like, I don't want him to see his mom. It's gonna affect him the rest of his life. Go that way. But I'm still in communication with,

so the kids went with their aunt. And that we raised a bunch of money for their go that way. But I'm still in communication with, so the kids went with their aunt, and that we raised a bunch of money for their go fund me, and the kids are doing better now. Okay, yeah, damn it. Oh, horrible thing. Jesus. Yeah, it was tough. Oh man.

Horrible, man. So off. Good for you though, man. Fucking hero. I was driving the gas lane truck. How do you think I finished? You're out of a bitch. You started out.

You started out. See what I did there? You made the guy coming down the road. That was you. That's a vehicle cutter right there. You made the guy coming down the road. That was you. That's a vehicle cutter right there. That's a treat to fire. That's a treat to fire. Why is this podcast so heavy about the fuck's going on?

Guys, we've really covered it. Fucking really. We covered Grig- There was like, so heavy. So heavy. And you know, I was just arguing for America, can't we? You're right, you're right. How bad was that?

I'm gonna take your video. It's just me off. What's he just doing? Just standing there looking at the camera. He was just like this. Okay, right you're right. How bad was that undertaker video Just do it just stand there like this life's like I am so scared right now. Thank God my night and shining armor Yeah, the shark was like oh my god I don't want to fuck with him Shark wanted to eat the undertaker you eat the undertaker You know or here's a quick one real quick, because Jamie Foxx has been out in the news for a while. People have no idea what's going on with him,

but he was in public on a boat. I'm on a boat. There he is. He looks fine. Ah. Everyone's still like his face. He seems all right. Yeah, he's also.

What do you, what do you know? We don't know the facts, right? No one knows anything about it. Is that him golf? That top golf, yeah. Wait, who's that? That's him, fucking lie. He's okay.

I'm so fucking excited. Oh, it's playing golf. Playing golf. I thought he was gone. He was partially blind. He was pretty all sorts of. It looks good. And then his daughter came out cause the news ran

with the daughter came out. That's not, it was just with him yesterday. He's fine. It looks good. So wait, was it all me? Bullshit though? No, he was in the a meast today he's fine. It looks good. But that's the way with it all me that's it though that no he was in the house for a long time and what is known about he had a stroke and he had the shot and that led to his stroke. Oh, that's the rumor, but who knows what's real and then obviously the media runs with her like yeah, he's never gonna be the same and then here he is on a

fucking yacht with hose and stuff doing this thing Seems like he's alright. You guys ever worked with him. No So I've seen him around like he um he lives over. Yeah, he lives a area. Yeah, I've seen him around. Yeah, but he's great Like I so fucking talented. Oh, man. Did you work with my beef the most time? I never were them I've spent a little time with him. Yeah,, and a couple of times, and he's great. It's such a great guy, but I'm such a fan. Oh yeah, because who's not? He's like the black Brian Kellen.

That's what they say on the show. I don't know if it's back. Is it broad as you're doing? He's very sinewy. It's not. It's not. It is annoying when they compete, guys. I'm better at whipping sports, like if I have to play tennis

where you whip your body or you, you know, but in straight power sports, he's better. He's got more power. What's this? So a Georgian mayor, he saw a house on a lake. He thought it was his, he was like, this is my dream house.

He approached it, the homeowner held him at gunpoint until the police arrived. He responded to this is my dream house. He approached it the homeowner held him at gunpoint until the police arrived He responded to this was yelling you know who to F.I. Am and Wasn't very happy a lot of blood and were the police in the force of the town that he was the mayor in or is a different town It's the same time Kevin you can represent him because this is a last example of racial profiling This is where being black is different than being white where people like I get arrested for looking at a house and the guy was like, no he broke in the house, bro.

Yeah, so his thing, his alibi was, he thought he broke into a house. He was like, I'm in the air. Yeah, like this is my house. He broke into the house. Broke into the house. Wait, wait, he broke into the house. I thought he was looking at the house. I'm having broken into the lake house. He thought it was He's like, this is the problem. Wait, wait, he broke into the house. I thought he was looking at the house. I'm having broken into the lake house.

He thought it was an abandoned house. So that's the thing. I don't know if he broke in or not, but he was in this person's house. And the guy yelled at him several times and he replies, do you know who the fuck I am? And then I'm the mayor, I'll wait for my police to get here and see what happens

and they arrested us now. And then he apologized to the police. I thought he might have killed someone else. Fucked up. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Oh, that's interesting. He was also in previous hot water for spending a thousand dollars of government money on a TikTok. Uh-oh. Celebrate the 50th anniversary of that. It's like it looks a little rundown to me. Yeah. I think well, I think you're always in trouble and I don't, you know, maybe you guys have done this before. I don't know. Yeah. But when have done this before I don't know yeah, but When you say do you know who I am

That's that's always a thing. That's an issue. That's always that that's you know, you know, you're in a wrong place Yeah, it's also not good to do you know who I am so it's not good to Break into a house. I don't know Sure, I like that Brian was like this the problem a problem with the American man. Poor black guy. I think what the fuck are we talking about dude? Yeah, I'm serious. You're the problem. I didn't realize that. Come on, count.

No, he's the liberal. He's the fucking guy who wants to be inclusive. I guess by people should be able to break in that. I think my more moderate. And then that. No, it's okay. He's the little more moderate. Yeah.

The mayor made it. He made it really, really. He knew he was trans-spider. He was transgendered. He was transgendered. So he knows that's a crime as long as you so we're on law Is that it chin that's it then wow you guys have stuff to plug? We're been such a heavy fucking day. I know Well, you know we're getting out of there like you saved the family and the mom died right? I just yes, if you what? I didn't know.

I just, like, yes, you brought that. You brought that in mind. You were having fun about the days. And I was like, yeah, this is fun. Hey, you saw a dead lady, right? I didn't know any of that. To me, in my mind, you were like fucking slow motion running with like a bit of a woman.

No, that's if I told the story. And that's that, because I lie back with you. Yeah, with your eyes. Now, I picked her up and revived her. Yeah. Let's see see Tacoma FD Season four premieres July 20th July 20th season four Go Meddits true TV on true TV with on-core broadcasts on TBS and then the first three seasons are on

Mac counts blonde is yawning in the middle of your oh my god. I'm so sorry. Yeah Super troopers But for the record I love you both your some of my favorites. I just this. Yeah, we love you guys Thank you guys. Thank you I was born that you were you were fucking killing me on school, so we had a good time. We did a good time Yeah, we did good time. That's fun. Yeah, we got canceled Blue room Missouri are you plug is hurry? I'll be there Friday July 21st July 22nd and then I'm at the Onterruim such a great right?

Ambrace my 20th 29th look at that the upper right one. What are you what Joker are you telling there? It's about a bird something probably about a bird something shitty probably about a bird. Something, probably about a bird. Something shitty. Probably about a bird. God, that looks like the hackiest, I looked like the hackiest asshole. Who's doing my pictures? You are, are you doing yourself or no? You got somebody? Yeah, I got somebody. You got a person doing that?

Yeah, I'm the worst. Look at that, look at this shot though. Look at this, this is a fucking good looking shot right here. It's good. Yeah, look at that. What's up? I just watched the WAM documentary on Netflix. Which one?

WAM. It's a, WAM, they just came in. George Michael? Yeah, George Michael. I'll tell him before, no, that's, that's culture club.

What is WAM, is, WAM is George Michael? No, that's not. Carole the squisper. Yeah, I never come to me. I'm dancing, yeah. No, that's culture club.

I'm never going to be. Wait, before I go go. Oh, wait me up before I go. Yeah, that's culture club. I'm never. Wait, before I go go. Oh, wait me up before I go. Yeah, that's why I'm that's what you do. That's what I was like. It's great. If you know, if you like, wait, but the, but the real thing is that like George Michaels is always like well lit like that.

Looking good. Like, good hair. Good, fucking, like, good hair. Oh, gotcha. And I mean, so that's a laugh after you're lighting this. Oh, good hair though. I'll take it, man. I'll take it, man. I, it's good good hair, dude.

I got a bunch of tour dates coming up in August to be announced by then this week. Next one around, I'm at the laugh actor Thursday night. I'm sorry, I'm at the comedy store Thursday night. Lafactory I think Friday Saturday doing spots in LA. Shopping friends at Pasadena, ice house July 28th, APM show I think. Spokans on there, Skankfest Vegas, Niagara Falls,

we got a bunch coming up, so stay tuned. Spokaneokane was to Tacoma. You should go see the firehouse. Well, Ken, I think yeah, I think they same guys. Same on all sides. Yeah, they on both clubs. Do you shouldy-stock footage into Commer now? No, no. I mean people get mad that we should but you know cost money man. Yeah, yeah, like go shoot some thing You can get that stuff on the internet man. Yeah, yeah, yeah internet man Yeah, go yeah Google to call me. We love you guys man. Thanks coming in. Thanks for all your account. No, it's fun Thank you guys. Thank you. I know you guys you did you did one Where easy listening goes all electric with your favorite hits like impressive style And intuitive touch screen. Bizzie Bizzie, Bizzie Bizzie.

And smooth acceleration. Bizzie Bizzie. The all electric BZ4X. Electric made easy BZ. Toyota, let's go places. When you meet a burger that's got as much drip as you do, you know it's time to start rocking the napkin beer with your fit. No shame.

Once everyone catches on to how fresh and juicy the double quarter pound of a cheese is, they'll all be stunt napkin fits. I swear. As a major research institution, Arizona State University offers the most online bachelor's degree programs, along with world-class faculty and dedicated support. Discover why ASU is ranked number one in innovation for eight consecutive years. Tap to learn more.