The Fighter & The Kid - The Fighter & The Dye | TFATK Ep. 940: Jeff Dye

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Jeff Dye is back and the guys talk Halloween, their old school celebrity crushes, basketball, Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift, Gavin Newsom's failed basketball game in China, Blink 182 playing at a Denny's, an Australian surfer getting hit by a whale and much more!

Yes we did, cause we got it again It's the fighter we can't This is really the fighter in the kid Come on man Welcome kiddos to the fighter and the die Yeah dude, fightin' the die I'm waiting for you to change that name I know dude, what's official today

Counts sucking Crouter off in Dallas Yeah I know So I sent out the bad signal And you're the... Here I am dude Here you are dude, looking good With the Philly Sat, you know they lost are dude looking good with the Philly sat you know they lost Yeah, well, I I love this is in solidarity, you know

I'm sad they lost I was going for Philly's cuz Bryce Harper's my son's favorite human being my favorite baseball player Dude, how good actually? Yes, I wish I'd have done it. It's in my car yesterday all yesterday I played softball for like two and a half hours and then we went in and hung out and you know went watch football and I kept taking my hat off and I had the Philly Phonatic headband underneath like Bryce Harper wears. I love it. And every chick was like, man, man, man, it's like it's Bryce Harper, dude, it looks cool. And I also love the Philly Phonatic love mascots.

Hell yeah. So I thought it would be cool on the head. I thought Philly was gonna get it done and then you're watching, I know your big baseball fan. You're watching the World Series. Well, I don't even think we should talk about it. You know, last time I did, I did Golden Hour and you know, I'm still at a part of my career.

I'm like, all right, let's just see the comments. See if anyone's talking. Why do you like it? Comment. I still, you know, I don't know how I'm doing with your fans. Dude, people were so nice to me, but so garbage about the baseball talk. They were like, I like Jeff Dodd,

but what do all this baseball bullshit? We thought it was about the back. I thought they think it was interesting. About Luke Garrett. I thought. We told this baseball bullshit. We thought it was about the facts about the things about Lou Gehritz. I thought they would think it was interesting. I thought it was dope. Yeah, I was like, did that talk about your cop's or racist pieces. Yeah, it was great. And everyone's like, once with all the baseball, this isn't about baseball. It's about

kidnapping. Homeless black kids. Yeah, you had like a little man. That's interesting. That's not baseball. And Babe Ruth, you you tell him where to pitch. Yeah, Babe Ruth being a black guy that no one talks about. I thought it was interesting, but sorry, fans of... Well, the last one on baseball, because you're the best person that only present, I can talk baseball with.

Besides your son. Besides my son, but it's only bright, it's not bright, he's not into it. But originally I was going for Texas. I like Seagull out from... A dollar? You used to play for Dodgers. So I love Seagull. What's Adalus? I plate. You just played for Dodgers. So I love Seagull.

Or it's Adelis. I love Adelis Garcia. Yeah, he's a monster. But so I like the hitting, the hitters on Texas, but I like the bull pin for Arizona. Oh yeah. So I find myself rooting for Arizona. I just want to get up with the glove up to there.

All the time. Why does he do that? Because there's a speaker in his hat and he's trying to hear it because the playoffs so loud. What? They have little things in their hats that so the catcher has a button here

that he picks the pitches and then it says the pitch to him. So he can actually hear it. So he's doing this, so he's even hockin' in his hat going, curve ball, slider. What happened to the days? Because they don't want him reading.

Slurve. They don't want him reading that because they're able to pick up the signs. Yeah, yeah, you steal signs. Thanks, Astro. This just takes care of the sign stealing. Oh, wow. Yeah.

But it is kind of fascinating too, because like, like the fact that they're letting them do that is weird. Weird. But people are already trying to cheat with it. There was some college baseball team that took the pitch comment, just put them in their batting helmets,

and then there was a guy over there, because it's not like Major League, Major League baseball is a higher product. They're using like, so they were like using iPads to steal what the signs were, and then telling the batter in the helmet, fastballs coming, sitting already trying to steal it, and then but the ketchup was like, yeah, but it was so loud, I could fucking hear the pitches.

So they caught them like immediately, and they couldn't justify it. Like, oh no, we put this batting, we put the speaker in the batting helmet for batting practice. We forgot it was in there. They're like the frequency you just got mixed up. Like, oh no, we put this bad in, we put the speaker in the bad in home at for bad in practice. We forgot it was in there. They're like the frequency you just got mixed up. Yes, I guess. Oh wait, the cheating's, it's always gonna have to get away with it.

People always get caught. Are you doing it? Dude, I love that. Where'd you get that hoodie? I bought it at a some stupid shoe store by my house. Man, I wish I bought it. You ever go into those, of course, you actually, you like, I don't, I go to the sneakershops.

Those sneakershops. They're the worst. I feel like when I walk in this you actually, you like, I don't go to the sneakers stores. Those sneakers stores. They're the worst. I feel like when I walk in this, you go, they turn it around, bud. Yeah, and then out of your two old shoes. You're too old for here. Not for you. What's with the boots?

Not for you. You're not our demo, my man. But isn't it feel like that? They got 700 pairs of shoes that are like shrink wrapped, and then they have like sick ass like jackets and hoodies and shoes in a small wrap. There's no size there. No sizes. If you could walk into a TikTok,

that would be the store. Exactly. I hate those stores. And I know people like them, but big fucking dumb teddy bear made of plastic you can't play with or hold. And it's like $7,000 because some artists you've never heard of fucking made it.

Yeah, and then it's like Pokemon cards. And then I'll back up those, those dunks are cool. You got sizes like all we have is a seven minute. All right, dude. Do you have any 13s? Let me look at one that's in plastic. Yeah, only in plastic. I hate those stores.

I hate those stores. And they're always priced for a great price. That's a cool stores. If you smoke weed all fucking dead, and you want a date kid cutty. Like it's a fucking dumb store. The whole culture of that is trash. Yeah, I don't take that.

I know that's aggressive take, but it's just so stupid. I don't like those stores. They have one machine where you can put in like a dollar and maybe you can push a key through a key size toll that will win you a pair of Yeez-ears or something. Do my buddy, Brett, had that business in Canada and was making banked. Some guy on YouTube, they're all, they're all shaking.

Yeah, they're all shaking. That's all very, Bill Bellachack, you're stealing stuff out. I also saw Yeah, they're all shaped. That's all weird. That's all weird. Bill Bellachack, you're stealing stuff out. I also saw YouTube video that if there's a way to like figure it out, there's some sort of something and this kid figured it out and then he's been, he keeps getting kicked out of the stores. Really? Cause you'll win and they go, hey, like blackjack.

We didn't mean to give away that iPad. Yeah. It's like card counting like he knows the trick or whatever. But my boy, Brett Forte had then Canada a bunch of malls and was making bank for a while. And then the gig's up, I guess. Also, if anybody's listening, go on, Jeff sounds like a judge, mental piece of shit. I bet you feel that when you go into fucking Target,

you know, you got this place sucks and I like Target. So it's like, it's okay, I'm just an old man. Target's the best. I think your store sucks and it's overpriced and it's a bunch of shit I wouldn't want. That's all right. Yeah, it's fair. Target's the only thing.riced and it's a bunch of shit I wouldn't want that's all right yeah it's fair targets the only girl keeps shaking her head no I don't know what the problem is I don't know what the problem is that where you find black guys can date sorry I offended the youth of the nation what are you gonna be black you can shit of course they're black what you talk about

what cuz they're either black guys or white guys that dress like black guys and talk like black guys. That's what young people do now. Everything's like, yo, what up, doc? I'm like, where are you from? I had a ho. Oh, you're from Idaho, you talk like that? Oh, when they say bro. Yeah, I don't know what's going on, dude.

It's nice to be nuts. My son said I was like, go to your room. Yeah, dude. Don't say bro. I went to apartment last night. My buddy Bauer's like, we have to go this thing. I said I was gonna go. Can you please drive me?

Because I wasn't drinking. I was like, yeah, I got you dude. So we drive to this apartment. And it's like we have to go this thing I said I was gonna go can you please drive me because I wasn't drinking I was like yeah, I got you to so we drive to this apartment and it's like three chicks Stoned out of their minds like a tattoo on her like stomach. She's only her nipples are covered Oh, yeah, she's like got a blonde. She's like painting a pumpkin not carving it just painting it And she's like she's like she thinks she's like Picasso over there. She's just fucking thinking. Was it good though? No, it's terrible. And also she's not talking anybody. She's just like in her own like blunt world,

like painting a pumpkin. And then there's three girls that look like they've been completely medicated. And they're just like on their iPhones. I walked in this place and go, yeah, we gotta go immediately. Yeah, we're at it. Is this what the,

this is the party scene? This is what your hot young chicks look like now? Yeah, dude, just like hot topic topic chicks hot topic cheerleaders. It was terrible They look like yeah, well I like at least the rep videos make it seem like they're all doing stuff and dance and having a good time Yeah, oh maybe only in that culture Yeah, I'm an urban culture. They were just like lazy on a couch like sweat bottoms and like no top and just like a blonde And what I have, I'm a jazz man, I'm like, oh fuck you Get me outta here dude These chicks need to stop smoking weed and get a fucking life

Are you doing anything for Halloween? Um, so I feel like you do You're like a Halloween person So I did Hollywood Horror Nights twice already At Universal? At Universal, it's fucking sick, dude What's the theme this year? Um, I'm not sure it's

I've been in the same's set for this year. Oh really? Every year. It's kind of the same stuff, they have a Chuckie right over here. Well last time it was the weekend. I think this year's the exorcist was the new one because that new exorcist movie came out. It was good.

Railways good? Yeah, the movie's good and the mayonnaise was, I love Halloween shit. Me too. Favorite holiday. You know what, the interesting thing about Hollywood or our nights? No fat people.

Oh my god. There's no fat people. Because I told you on my watch, you have a counter? It was like seven pounds miles of walking. Oh, to get down to the haunted house? Well, because there's all these escalators. The upper lot, the lower lot.

There's seven and a half miles. And you got to run. My feet are hurting and I'm gonna get shaped. Dude, I started going, wait, there's no fat people. I started looking around. I was like, yeah, there's no fat people. I started looking around, I was like, yeah there's no fat people. It's not a fat person thing. It's not a fat person.

You gotta move. You gotta move. They should put that on the ticket. Hey, if you're fat, good luck. You know, I hope you didn't buy the front of the line pass. Just pick one maze, sit in line all day. Oh, if you don't have the fast pass. Yeah, yeah, you can just get a meal and go to one maze. Go to one maze. Cause I'm telling you dude, it was so much walking. It's crowded, too though. Yeah, it can just get a meal and go to one maze.

Cause I'm telling you dude, it was so much walking. It's crowded too though. Yeah, it's very crowded. Act. It's warm. If you don't have the fast pass, you might get to haunted houses in. No, like one or two. Yeah, maybe two.

You're right. Maybe two. That's the worst part. That's the worst part. That's the worst part. Six hours. But if you buy the fast pass, you can go to everything. Which is like, I've tell all my friends, which is kind of what sucks is that like, my friends can't

afford, you know, $550 ticket. So it's good. And the food sucks. I think it's a good thing. And you're gonna spend money when you get there, of course. And so like, I basically, I used to go all the time and when I worked at NBC, I would just buy everyone the tickets or whatever. But this year, I just like bought one for one other person. It took like a girl. Yeah, you just need one person, whether you have. So it would seem like a serial killer. We can't bring all you, like my, I've got very rich friends and I have some friends that

like, dude, I can't afford $550 to go like a night of Halloween with my friend Jeff. And then I'm also not gonna spend $600 so my buddy Aaron can go with me. No, you know, so drunk and not appreciated. God damn haunted nights. But I'm, do you, who it's wrong. Cannot appreciate it. God damn haunted. Nice. But I love to do that. But who do you take?

Your kids? Because it's pretty scary. It's too scary for them. No, me and my wife would go and then we would usually invite her brother and his girlfriend. Nice. Or we'd go with another one of my friends' parents. One of my son's friends' parents.

Dude, how many stuff's the greatest? My favorite holiday. Queen Mary used to do a good one, but this year it's called like, Shaq Tobur. That's when I was out. I wanted to go, it's like Shaq fast. Ooh, rebounds.

Yeah. Whoa, free throw, Shaq. Haqa Shaq. Can't even make a free throw. Yeah, that's not scary. Ooh, assists. No assists. Like, what is that fucking,

it used to be super scary. That boat is actually haunted in real life allegedly super haunted So it's like really was fun to be there and they had all these ghouls and gobs and then this year They just got check. I don't understand. It made me not want to go. Yeah, I was gonna be down for it because I went to Around here. There's the was at night of the jacks, which is at the King Ranch in Calabasca. I never heard of it. Oh, bro, you gotta go. It's still going. It's still going. It's still going.

You'll love it. They have a whole like whole thing set up with lights, but where it's at, when my favorite shows is Ghost Adventure, Shout to Zach Baggins. And I'm watching it, right? And they're like, we're in Calabasca, California. I'm like, what the hell are they doing in Calabasca? And then they go to that with this Jacksonite town?

So that's called King Ranch. Bro, it's like top 10 most haunted places in America. I'm there for all doing like goddamn kids. When you see it, because they murdered a, it used to be Indian land. They murdered a ton of Indians. I'm like, all right, that's standard in America. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you know anything about history, it's funny is fun they go like the plot of these movies like turns out our house was built on a native burial ground guess what everything in America's built on a native burial ground that means everything's hot everything that means everything this podcast studios probably over some native bones 100% like if you know much about how about how it worked. Yeah, the 100% But that so it says it's the haunted place. I was like great native Americans like standard that unscaring me But then I get it so it's the king ranch and there's the like buildings there like it looks like a church I guess like a satanic cult took over for like 30 years. Oh my God. I'm like murdered people and buried them in the basement Oh my god. I take my kids here man. Yeah basement. Oh my God. I'm not taking my kids here, man.

How the fucking corn dog. What was it scary? No, so the thing's not scary. Oh, it's not supposed to be. It's like pumpkins, like scenes carved. No, you'll love it. Kid-friendly, yeah. Kid-friendly, but and then adult,

well, it's, you'll love it. Looks cute. Yeah, it's dope. The only one I've never done is not scary farm. It's fantastic. It's good? Yeah. It's not very dope. The only one I've never done is not scary farm. It's fantastic. It's good. Yeah, okay I'm pretty far. I'm during the day is garbage. So that's why you went though 2010 with my girlfriend at the time dude. I said so I went probably 2010 to on 12

ghetto. Yes, so it's the riff raft the theme part. Oh, yeah Just gang members. I was more afraid of the gang members that were hanging out of And hanging out there than the actual you know how like Universe has like marvel and the sims in thin Disney. I see as Mickey Mouse in cars Bush guard like not very has Charlie Brown. Yes, Snoopy's walk around I go what the fuck? I didn't remember Snoopy I'm 40 years old dude. I took my son. He's like what the hell is that? I'm like I get that what's a white dog? Yeah? And they sell jam, boys and Barry jam, I feel like. Here's your son.

What the fuck's a woodstock? Yeah. Yeah. So we went like whatever, 10 years ago. We went probably three months ago. It's only a 30 minute drive from here. They invested like $15 million in it. Because somebody died on the road coaster.

Okay. Some kid with mental issues jumped in to get us out, got us head taken off. Oh my God. So like, we gotta put money this thing. Now it's so legit. It's good. Are there a lot of people there?

No. Okay. It might be the best part of our kids, the best one. Part of my judgment of not-spare farmers, I went with my girlfriend at the time. We were like just always trying to just find anything to do. And since we were like new to California, we just did every tourist thing, every whatever.

So we show up and it's just us. It's like a Tuesday after you and I was like, oh God, it looks like we rented the whole place. So you don't need to be at P pass there. Oh my God, we got one of the rides and it took us all around. And then the like jaded teenager that's working was like, you wanna go again?

Cause there was like no one in line or anything and we're like, ah fuck it, run it back. And we just did it like twice. Even on the rollercoaster, like me and you just keep going just not that many people there Yeah, I go I took him to San Diego went to see world again You don't need the VIP pass for sea world. There's nobody those will be closed in five years Yeah, but it's funny cuz you see where you yeah, you're dealing with the teenagers and I'm like yes Staff killer whales. I thought that since black mayor came out, a black mask came out, whatever's out,

black fish. We don't know, man. Black fish, black fish. Black fish. Black fish. We're just employees. Heavy on the black. Yeah, but when we went there,

I was like, I thought since black fish came out, you guys can have the whales, like killer whales. He's like, oh man, things all hyped, dude. He's like, you can still have the ones where you just can't have new ones.

Yeah. And then I, we look at him, we have like dinner or lunch and he's like swimming can still have the ones we just can't have new one. Yeah, and then I we look at him We have like dinner or lunch and he's like swimming around his fins like this. Oh exactly. I was like man He looks sick. He's like dude again. That's all marketing. Yeah, dude. He's he's happy as hell These dolphins love it here in the dorms going with like foam coming No, I look at that happy it. Yeah, it was sad. Yeah, it was, when he's here, like, he's ramming his nose into the glass, that's happiness. That's how they show joy.

You get all that blood, they love that. They love that, man. They live for it, dude. They live for it. No, it's feels like this the entire time he's swimming around sad as shit, like chasing fish that there's frozen fish in the toss and throw.

And I go, man, that's not normal. Like, in the wild, you don't see a lot of that. He's like, like oh it's the When he doesn't get enough sun that you can tell he's dealt with this question Yeah, he's like when doing enough sun it goes down. It's idling it hot out. You see it popped back up I'm like I guess it's solar power is sad All right, I love the idea like no, they're actually sad in the wild That's what they don't tell you in the, they're very depressed. They like it here.

No, you know what he did? He goes, this thing's probably better in here, man. These things are murders out there in the ocean, man. He's seeing these things, I was like, yeah, what have you done? What have you done? I'm talking about have her face. Before fucking trainers last year.

Have you ever watched that story on those? Yeah, I've seen everything on it. When you're like, gave like $30,000 to dolphins, because I watched the cove. Yeah, yeah. And I was just like, if was like, fuck people dude, we gotta help these dolphins. And then I just realized, what am I doing dude?

What am I doing? Your money goes no more. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. Hayden Pentadaria, whatever it is, it's like downing my money. We got 30 grand more from the fucking Jeff Dye TV guy, but yeah, that was the movie that broke my heart.

Cause dolphins are cool, man, they're like dogs. Water dogs. Water of water pups. Yeah, but like, yeah, that's why I said the movie that broke my heart because dolphins are cool man they're like dogs water dogs water water pups um yeah but like yeah that's why I said seaworlds only can be open for like 10 more years at most five years ten years with their trying to go away from the life of the exes came out it's like forget it dude every document you're just about how garbage we are uh we eat too much seafood we eat too much meat we're not eating enough meat there's a milk crisis don't too much meat, we're not eating enough meat, there's a milk crisis, too much water, we're running out of water. Every dog just makes humans feel terrible. And then they hype up the serial killer ones.

They're like, Jeffery Dom would just struggle for mental illness. I think this guy, this guy, little compassion. You know that Hitler was just misunderstood. Yeah. You know, if they just pass Hitler's art project, you wouldn't have this problem. I hate that cliche.

I've heard 75 comedians go, you know, if you just would have got into art school, it's like clearly, you know, nothing about history. Yeah. He was, yeah, we did the art thing. Yeah. Then he went to war and it broke his brain. Yeah.

No matter what happened. Yeah. It wasn't like he could have went back to God damn painting. No, he had to go to war. He was breaking the scholarship. Yeah. Yeah. No matter what.

What was your say about the animal thing? I forget the... You watched all the Netflix things. So I watched a documentary. What's that gay football player? Tim Tibo, his Tim Tibo. Hey! What?

You're thinking of Aaron Hernandez? No, he's not. He's married. You're thinking of Aaron Hernandez. No, but here's the thing. They do that whole doc about Tim Tibo. Okay. Or not Tim Tibo about Florida. It's got Urban Meyer, Tim Tibo.

And let that all the darkness. Here's what I don't understand. The Pound T-Brother. How are you not gonna put Aaron Hernandez? That's what I'm saying. And they're like, well, because you know what he did, right? And he's dead. Yeah, dude, you make documentaries about murderers

all the time Netflix. They have one on the other. You can really? You can really verify every serial killer. And there's a whole doc about Aaron Hernandez, but then you're gonna make one about Florida and not mention Aaron Hernandez once. Aaron Hernandez and also the Poundsees.

And then also there was other guys on it, team we did, hopefully. They mentioned Percy Harvin, but like he never did anything bad, Percy never did anything bad. He said mental illness. But he wasn't even in the doc. Yeah, no.

They mentioned him like maybe once. Nothing. That doc sucked. Yeah, it was, but it was all about urban urban my yeah, I know, but I mean like I like you could only get six people for that documentary You spent millions of dollars at Netflix and you got like six people One lineman they didn't want to talk about the darkness. They should there was a murder that happened like on campus Right around campus and a river my are covered up like just so so much darkness there. Why don't make that dark? It's gonna be on BET after dark.

Yeah, I'm gonna nap. I won't sit. I got nap likes dude. I got nap likes dude. Well, what you're saying about all those things is like, so like winning time, which I thought was a fantastic show about the Lakers. Like Jerry West, Kremel Dooljabar, all these guys,

they were really pissed off through like, this is ridiculous. It's like, dude, Jerry, you've famously been an asshole for your whole career. And now you're gonna, you're mad that they made you look like a prickly asshole. It's like, that's just, that's how things, it'd be like making a documentary about me

or a show about me. And then I'm like, why'd they show me drinkin' all the time? It's a cute drink, dude. You can't not have your back. They also made you look good. You have good quality. My only thing with the Dreowest stuff is I don't have any interaction with them.

So it's a terrible guy. But that's corned like who's, it's corned into 100% of the people that have ever met Dreowest. So maybe is, I ran into him. I was with my family at lunch with another family and I saw him and I recognized because his watch was ridiculous.

And I'm like, God damn it, that's the tall old man. I'm like, oh, that's Jerry West. Yeah. And then my son was like, God, who is that? I'm like, he's like a Laker Gray. He's the M.B.A. And then I go, yeah, he's the logo. His nickname was the logo.

And I go, but he's not a nice guy. Yeah. And then after I said, I'm like, I don't know that. Well, no, he is a, he's serious the thing with Jerry West. Now, he did take my son in the face. Yeah, he kicked my guy. Yeah. And then after I said I'm like, I don't know that. Well, no, it is a serious thing with Jerry West. Now he did. He kicked my ass in the face. Yeah. He kicked my kid. Yeah. So that's how you know. No, you believed it. Yeah. What? Really different. Hell no. What the hell? I do. He probably would open with that. That's my kid. He probably would open with that part of the story. Yeah. Yeah. Not defending his honor. Yeah. No, so

here's the thing. Jerry West's incredible basketball player. So he's great to his friends and family, which that's easy to do. Everyone's nice to their friends and family. Well, that's my dad. Well, so the Jerry West is a nice to his friends and family. He's an incredible basketball player. He's a great businessman. He was a good coach.

There's many good qualities. He is one of these kind of guys who's nobody in, nobody out of the circle. So if you're not in the circle, he's just rude and has no reason to be nice to you. And so yeah, you also, that's just rude and has no reason to be nice to you. And so, yeah, you also, that's your reputation. His reputation is terrible.

Yeah. He, like, unless you're in the circle at the cost, publicly said terrible things about Jeanne Bus, the owner of the Lakers, who has only been sweet to him, has only taken care of him, has only been full circle, though. She's out of the circle, though. She's out of the, she was never in his circle. And she do to get out of the circle though. She's out of the she she was never in his circle. He'll she do to get out of the circle. She was never in the circle.

In my I'm gonna I'm gonna talk to be sharing. We need to talk to Jerry. Cause what I'm like, Hey, what's it got to take to get Jenny in the circle? It's no, here's the thing. Jeannie bus like if you just Google Jeannie bus and Jerry West, he has publicly said terrible things about her yeah

why would she need to defend him or defend her honor like she owns the lakeers and he's a guy who works for the clippers and thinks that he's just he's said a lot of bad things and so like when you say bad things publicly that's how i've got and they get mad that they made it they go can you believe they made me look like a little prickly? Yeah, dude, you prickly. I can't believe it. Also, why are you defending Jerry West over there?

What do you give you free tickets or something? I'm not saying anything. Yeah, you're a hot chick, he's probably real nice to you. He's so big. He's in a different world than us. Yeah. Yeah, girls like this, they're like, oh, oh, do you know the game?

He's so nice, It's like yet to you He gets you a car service and gives you bottle service and you go why is everyone say the Yeah, yeah, well he treats me like dog shit. Yeah, and he treats you really good And you can't see outside of your world like I but I it's like being Hitler's wife like he's nice to me outside of your world. Like, I, but I, it's like being Hitler's wife. Like, he's nice to me. He's nice to our dog. I know if you see the gas chambers

about a mile from our house, babe. But he's nice to me. He's just, yeah. Okay, we're a good guy. With you obsessed with Halloween, like I am, do you watch a bunch of scary stuff? Like, I will only watch scary stuff until Halloween. Oh, my first girlfriend in Los Angeles.

My first girlfriend in Los Angeles did this thing, cause I wasn't always into paranormal stuff and I wasn't always into YouTube surf spooks or Nuke's Top 5 or any of these things that I watch all the time. And it's like real videos of people on Ouija boards or real videos of a shadow person. I mean, allegedly, but they claim that they're real videos.

So I was never into any of that shit. And she was like, for Halloween, can we watch one scary movie a night? We were like living together. And as a guess, we watched 31 scary movies, which was such a fun thing. And sometimes we would miss it, so we'd watch two on Friday or whatever. Now I do it all the time.

I look for scary stuff every single day. It's so fun. It's practically all I watch. I've had nightmares, whatever. I didn't know this was it. I'd obsessed with it. Got my black belt and serial killers. All right, on three. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun.

It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun.

It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun.

It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. Wait, no, but what's it on? Let me just see the cover. I bought it on iTunes and I've probably watched it 20 times. It's on HBO Max, but don't watch a trailer or anything. Is it gory or is it like, I'm scared? No, gory. Because I don't like gory. I don't like like, Saul.

What part? Why do you need some, without saying it, without giving anything away, it's not really great. But I need a thriller. I mean, there's blood, but every word, but every word, yeah. Is it the one with just among? That's the, yeah, okay, so yeah. It's incredible. good. But I need a thriller. I mean, there's blood, but every horror film has blood. Is it the one with just among? Yeah, okay, so yeah. It's incredible.

I don't remember any horror either. It's like fucked. The movie's like. What also is good about it, without spoiling anything, is it's like three different movies. Yeah. At one point, you go, oh, I see where this is going and I like it.

And then it turns and you go, holy shit. And then you go, oh, I like this too. And then the thing, you think, well, now it's this. It's like that movie where they had that Asian family living downstairs, the Korean family was a parasite. Yeah, the one that wanted the Oscar. Yeah, what was it called? Persecut.

What a fucking great film. But like halfway through the movie, you think you know what you're watching and then it turns into this whole other, you go, whoa. So that's how barbarian is. But it's like, like, hard to house on the hill. Like that, I like that. Black, was it black mass or midnight mass is good? Well, the haunted house on the hill is that, I like that. Black was it black mass or midnight mass is good.

The haunted house on the hill is that that was the series, right? Yeah, so good. With the kid from ET is like a dad, but he still looks like the kid from here. Yes. No, so that show was good and I liked it, but it was one scare per episode. As it comes.

What about more scary? What about midnight club? Same producer, same director. I haven't seen it. Midnight club's good. I haven't seen it. A lot of scares with that. Drags on a little bit.

Stranger Things was good the first season. And then it dropped the chart. Like season three, dude. I haven't seen season three, because I hate it season two so much. Oh, season three's good. Season two, they just like, they were started doing like, corny, like mall montages and like,

so I like it because it's like, tribute to like the late 89. I like that's why I originally like, because I like it. All kid cast like goonies are stand by me. I like wine on a rider. I like the synthesizer shit. It's a period piece.

I like monsters. I like conspiracy. All this I like I was all in. And then the second season like the hot kid is now working at a hot dog stand and he can't get girls. Like that was the hot kid. And then they made that they're like adding girls. So like that during like the world time.

They they made it to the woke time. So the made that their like the well time. They'd be the The work time so the handsome like kids like the loser now right makes no It's like bullied. I'm like when you just beat them up though, right? And they add like a red headed girl who's like not to be trifled with no I like she's my Favorite you know as girls are Where's the chest is stronger? But I like really But whatever what's this that house? So it's called house on haunted Really. Um, but whatever.

What is this, that house? It was called House on Haunted Hill, right? Yeah, it was a good show. So it was a remake. I guess so. Yeah, that, no, the one on Netflix, didn't have the one from 1999. Hold on, I'm not watching Netflix.

I'm not watching Netflix. It's bullshit. Yeah, House on Haunted Hill. Yeah, it's still the same name. Yeah, it's a remake, but it was very cool. It's from a book, yeah. Wait, the Haunting of Hill House, there you go. The Haunting of Hill House. Yeah, that's the name. Yeah, that's good. book, yeah. Wait, haunting of Hill House, there you go. The haunting of Hill House.

Yeah, that's the name. Yeah, that's good. Damn, it came out five years ago. Why they not have the dad as like one of the first photos. He's like the main character, and look, he's not even in the top six build. According to Goody. There he is, Henry Thomas.

He's in midnight club, too. He looks just like that little boy. I can't see anything, but that little kid from ED. Wait, go to back to the first chick. The first chick? KC, in their mind. I'm getting Carly Gugino mixed up with someone else. KC Ghoul is so pretty.

She's a lesbian though. Who's your celebrity crush besides Ivanka Trump? KC Ghoul and Carla Gugino. Gugino? Gugino? Gugino, yeah, she did the first time I did the tonight show. She was the other guest next to me. She's a pretty person. Yeah, she's really pretty.

She's nice. She's got that weird theater thing though. Actors are so weird. I bet like 10 actors that are cool. What? That's your celebrity crush. She's like 60. I don't know.

I don't really have one. No. None? Meg the Stalin? That counts. I don't know I don't really have one no none make Meg the stallion that counts I don't know man I Don't know man we have different celebrity crushes. No, we have different celebrity crushes. Yeah, you're just like Taylor Swift No, it isn't I'm trying to thank for my celebrity crush. Yeah, I think this down would be a fun time It used to be a fun time. That was the most fun. It used to be like a man to Pete.

Do you remember her from earlier? Yeah, I remember her. I don't remember her. She hasn't aged great, but like she used to be like when she was, oh. Oh, from saving silver man. Yeah, back in the day, she was. Oh no, saving, it was saving silver man.

Yeah, she was hot. Interesting. That's a deep dive. I got a little bit more. Actually, I can go deeper than that. One of my favorite when I was a young man, except three sisters, there was watching on his girl shit. Parker Posey. Remember her?

No, man. Do 90s Parker Posey. Parker Posey. I've been Peter Parker. I don't know who you're talking about. Parker Posey, she was in all these really funny comments. She was very funny. She was very, very funny and cute.

See that one right there with it? She's got the soda pop. She's like, boy, our stuff. She was kind of a white trash chick in the movie, not in real life, but she was like, I can't see the soda pop. Sometimes, oh, she's got a soda right there. She's working at Dairy Queen, down, down, down.

The one where, down, down, down, where she's working. Yeah, because she's an improv comedian, so she would always be like, oh, she's got like a soda right there. She's working at dairy queen, down, down, down. The one where down. No, down where she's working. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, because she's like an improv comedian, so she would always be like, yeah, I like working here, cause we get free coke and sometimes just on my break, I'll have a coke. Like, she's just like a white truck, but she was very funny.

That was your crush, huh? Yeah, she was funny and I was like, Are you also into Jim Carey? Yeah. No, she's in the car. She wasn't scream, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What was she? The man who played the girl that, is it Courtney Cox? No, that was Courtney Cox who played Courtney Cox. Yeah. I played Courtney Cox, but she played the movie version. Oh, okay. Oh, okay, I'm deep-cut. See that?

See that? Oh, yeah, see it, okay, she's pretty. Yeah, she was pretty. If you watch her like back then, I mean though these photos are dated obviously Yeah Well, look at Courtney's bangs. Yeah, whoof I'm trying to think of Mike what a deep dive though. I know well I'm just going through all my so was like part of Posey and then I liked I said people when I was a you know

I say make this to me maybe a because what you know your influence when you're a kid, I had the, I think my brother had the album cover Mercedes. Obviously. From no limit records. Yeah. Where she's on a car and her ass is out. Yeah. Maybe that's why I'm into black. I've never been an ass guy in my life.

Really? 90s kid man. I like a beautiful face and some tits, but I can do it out the tits too, as long as she's pretty. Wow. Yeah, if she's pretty and like not fat, I don't know what that sounds like.

I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like.

I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like.

I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. I don't know what that sounds like. Yeah, that shadow, that's the last Mercedes, bro. The shadow makes it look like a vagina's crooked. Yeah, the shadow on it, it makes it look like a vagina goes to the right. Yeah, that's the least of my worries. My problem, my problem, my problem is their face looks like fucking Michael String and stuff, dude. Like that, I didn't, you know, I didn't see the faces.

That is notorious PUSS-W. Look at that face and it weird I was into that Nitorious that micro machine. I didn't know she'd been around that long. I Mean I've never heard a music. I know but that way. Oh, so it is this not Meg the stallion No, I think that's what you're doing. I thought no this I was like oh mercy. I was like 10 when did that album come out? I don't know when was I jacking it like, 10. When did that album come out? I don't know. When was I jacking it to this? Can I see what she looks like now?

Oh, dude. Let's see what she looks like now. Dude, she looks like Morgan Freeman now. No. She looks like Morgan Freeman. I just clicked on the first link. I don't know if this is her. Oh, she's still crushing it.

No, she's not. We're all silent. She looks better now. Yeah, dude. Let's keep it going. There we go. There she is with Masterpiece, still doing the thing. This is what the apartment looked like in the last night.

I was at right here. She just took a bunch of chicks. Chilling on the couch. Like talk it, like do it, lookin' in their own phones, fuckin' there's a whole party goin' on. And they're just lookin' in their dumb phones, smokein' blunts.

Just on TikTok. Yeah, I just lookin' themselves. There's all these strangers, they just wanna look at themselves. Yeah, life would come after a family. Yeah, the time was a motherfucker. You only have 75 summers, man. 75. Only have 75 summers if you're good, you know, that is

It's sad right? Yeah, super to put chin show me this motivational video that he Murphy going you only have 75 bottoms 75 It makes you put in a perspective. I find that I've heard that kind of thing a lot. And like, you know, like you'll probably only see your parents. If you see your parents two times a year, probably only see your parents this video. When he started doing the math on that, I was like, hey man, I gotta turn the shit off.

Exactly. Cause it didn't motivate me. Yeah, I barely see you I'm not gonna visit you more. I just want to let you know Don't get crazy. I'm gonna be out there more, but we're only see each other 12 times corn to these calculations You know, I love them. It's probably five times. Chins video was good though. It's played for Jeff Chin, so I'm not my video. Chin was like I gotta show this was like oh god I know I love motivation stuff if you saw my, I gotta show you this, I was like, oh god. I love motivation stuff. If you saw what I listened to you on a daily basis,

you guys would be like, this guy's fucking cornball. I like motivational stuff. But this one in particular, I don't know why, we know we're gonna live till maybe for lucky, what it says. You're age 75. But you're age, you have 100 something. Okay, something maybe, I don't know.

But I mean, as a bigger white guy, I have four summers. That's not good. Take it, man. I can talk about but I mean as a bigger white guy. I have four summers That's not take it back to talk about big this guy's all the time I say it like I like I've said it on this podcast me to I'll just stare at Brendan So like we're at the Lakers game. I just look like I was looking at his head and he looked over and I just look back Just like I'm always I'm always I tell everyone like he been around Brennan He's like he's and by the way, you're so tall. I'm a big guy but Brennan just gigantic big big hands big fucking head So this is a clip hope for war

I put all my money on him Yeah, we want one of those That model over here. Let's buy him. Yeah, we want safety Bring in the warrior Yeah, he would be our given whatever he asks for Okay, here's a clip real quick. It's from holy man I've seen this. Yeah, it's great We look at it like that is not a lot of time. Don't waste it.

Get your head out of the rack. You forget about the superficial physical physical. You preoccupate your existence and get back to what's important now. Right now, this very second, and I'm not saying, drop everything and let the world come to a running halt. I'm saying that you can become a seeker. You can be loving more. You can be taking some chances.

You can be living more. You can be spending more time with your family. You can be getting in touch with the part of you that lives instead of fears. The part of you that loves instead of haste. Man, I should have played this for those loser girls in that apartment last night. Hey, bitch. They need to hear it, man. I'm living my life, dude.

You guys keep smoking those, babe. You got 30 summers. Hey, wake up. You drug-induced fucking losers. Hey, that rainbowored. Yeah, yeah, 20 summer robot. He keeps sucking off all day Give it up Go to equinox get a fucking life. Do that's a good. That was beautiful I love that good. Yeah, I got a lot when we know you put in the perspective like 75 summers. Yeah I'm like shit. Well, and also that's 75. Boy, he's talking to babies there.

He says, I think that I've only got like, you know, a little bit left. Yeah, that's a pretty good thing. Yeah, because I'm 40. I don't think I have 150 years. You know, it's gets a little dice. I've already used all my summers before here and holding it. It seems unfit.

No, that's really beautiful. I like that kind of stuff. And I added some music to it. Yeah, I mean, the music stuff it always adds to it. I don't know who made the deal. I have about 30 quality summers. Yeah, well, it's crazy, right? 30 summers, you're in fantastic shape. Most people get old and they can't even enjoy the summer.

But I'm like a great dainty. You know, great dains live like six years. Oh, dude, my buddy had a great dainty. And they had defeated it at the same time every day or it'd get bloated. And as I dude, my dog eats whatever, whenever the fuck I'm around. Yeah dude my buddy had a great day and they had defeated at the same time every day or had get bloat. And as I dude my dog eats whatever,

whenever the fuck I'm around. Like there's no schedule for my dog. My dog goes yeah my owner's a fucking jackass. Sometimes I eat sometimes I don't. Sometimes he takes me to the bar, sometimes he forgets. But like the other day he got me three skittles. I'll just, I was like, this is like cool story. I used to come back from baseball and I would just like sit on my casual like my shirt off

and like watch baseball. And then my dog, I would eat a bunch of grapes from my fridge and then I would like give him one and then I eat it. He must eat a hundred grapes. They're so bad for dogs. And then someone's like, yeah, that definitely goes, you know that grapes will kill dogs. My dog eats like a hundred grapes a day. And they were like were like they're like that's terrible like I had no idea also my dog's fine He's like a little junkish embarrassing man. Look at his skin. He's rocks sometimes. I don't feed him rocks

Jeff's like yeah, I don't know what throwing my dog you get my hundred grapes and a bars of chalk. Yeah, love chart When he has chocolate he'll just lay there. I mean, he's so happy. No, that's not. Never give him chocolate. No, but what it's going to say about great dance. Somebody had a great day and like, like, he said, I go, why do you feed him on to like, he would leave like a restaurant

to go home and feed the dog at the exact time. And he said, because he gets bloated, I was with that. He goes, this stomach will turn over and like, he'll die if he doesn't eat at the exact same time all the time. And he said, because he gets bloated, he goes, his stomach will turn over and like he'll die if he doesn't eat at the exact same time all the time. Great Danes are just a lot to take on. Like when I was looking at dogs, I looked in the great Danes and you talked to like the breeders are like, you better be ready man.

Like same thing, you eat the same time, you can't run them a lot, because you have to replace their hips. Like, oh, this is terrible investment. They have about six good years. I'm like, I don't want my kids around this thing. It's gonna die for sure. She starts dying as soon as he walks in the house.

Yeah. What are they made for? Because all dogs were human invention. What was great, Dane made for? They're... There's like a royal lineage, isn't there? There's like a whole royal... It is called great.

Is your nose pierced? Yeah. Okay. You started as the reflection? No, I thought she was like dripping, like I thought there's like a little great dance. Just a little ring.

It's good. I just thought it was, it's not. There it is. Eight fun facts about great dance. They lived three years. They were fed to protect country estates and hunt wild boars. So what happened to those great Danes

that could run and kill a bull? We pacified them. I mean, it's not a holdover, right? And then, yeah, for how long they could do this. But they can't, like you can't take them on a lot of walks, you can't jog them a lot, because they're hips. Oh yeah, they're just, but Russell Wilson has two of them.

That makes sense. Yeah. So I heard great Danes making terrible football. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Danes making terrible with their football Dude, they're so bad although we beat the chiefs yesterday. I know which made no sense to me How that happened Taylor Swift curse dude. Oh my god. Yeah, and also this is how famous she is Is she the most famous version in the world? Watching football and then obviously put a graphic like when Taylor Swift is in the building the chiefs are I'm like Well, why is this like a statistic? Oh, it's not, know your fan base.

We don't give a shit. Yeah, it's really good. You get a show or once and then move on. Yeah, I don't, and I like when they cut the celebrities in the crowd, but like, I don't need a statistic of how well they're playing when she's in the stadium. Like this?

Like when Tyson Fury and Francis fought this weekend, it was five hours of filler, because the paper he started at 11, the fight they didn't walk to four, so we're watching for five hours. Every three, four minutes, like Kanye West is in the building, Ronaldo. How about Ronaldo's here?

Well, there's Conor McGregor. I'm like, God, these guys are searching for fucking any filler they can get. Well, one of my biggest things. Kanye West is like when someone goes to a game and they're like, every time I come, they win. And I'm like, how many times do you have to do it? Bit of three games ever.

You're like, yeah, I don't think I'm, I don't think it's one of those things. It's not a factor. Like, it's just like a fun thing people do. But now Taylor Swift really is at her house gone, yeah, they even put it on the screen. When I'm in the building, we win, and we're in an advertisement.

Don't do it in real like monetary thing Taylor Swift does when she goes, the ticket prices are through the roof. Yeah, because, you know, then the kids, the man and every guy. Don't do it real like monetary thing Taylor Swift does when she go the ticket prices are through the roof Yeah, cuz you know, then the kids want to get it in there. But that's bad. I saw a video I think it was on my been on Instagram. I think so where this guy is he's Recording his girl and she's like, oh my god. She's like it's crazy. Taylor Swift made Kelsey so famous Nobody knew who he was before. I know, I love him. He was like, what? I love him.

He's like, say what? I hosted SNL and I was hiding in the, in the fucking NFL for like the last five years, lady. Also, let's look at, can we look at Travis Kelsey's last girlfriend? There's a dramatic difference between Taylor Swift and this girl. My, how, my how fame really changes your type She's gorgeous. This is Travis Kelsey's last girlfriend, and he's like, you know what? I'd like a skinny Richer version

He was like what's Jeff die into no that is not my type Taylor Swift is not my type You went from a young Brendan job to current Jeff die. Well, and also he's gone. I mean, maybe she's pretty actually pretty sexy. Yeah. I remember her being a little different. My memory was wrong. No.

Smoke, Josh. I see an earned person too. She must be pissed. You think she cares? I feel like she got more famous from this. No, she came out and was like bashing him and saying Taylor be worried. Like he's a narcissist. He's gonna cheat on you. Like she badmouthed me.

Yeah, but that's common fucking X talk. Gabber. You know, loosely we use the term narcissist and sociopath. You don't think of Matt what if people don't understand. They use these words. Yeah. Nobody knows how words work anymore yeah sincerely we just toss it around I made this so I'll take a quick short story I was a performing a comedy show or

whatever and this girl went on in front of me she sucked at comedy right and but she tried you know good work and she sucked good what you do is when you when you go on after a comedian you kind of tease him tried, you know, good work. And she sucked. And what you do is when you go on after a comedian, you kind of tease him a little, you know? Yeah, everyone does. Yeah, you say, oh, you know, whatever, like you make a little joke or whatever. Well, her comedy was like, I'll give you an example.

Like one of her jokes was like, I married my husband, it's not love. Like he has good credit or something, bull, he's, you know, he's basically like this guys and some loser and she goes, really what I just want is a nose job. I've got a cocaine problem, all this different stuff. She's just saying all this stuff. And then she's like, any guys in here do yoga

and people clap and then she's like, she's like, stay the fuck out of our classes. Yoga's for chicks, you're fucking, so then I got a stage where I was like, well, give it up first, she was kind of a sexist pig. And then we're laughing. And I was like, I was told that men that do yoga are like in touch. Like that was, you know, it's not just for women.

Also, I was told that we shouldn't tell women that she'd get nose jobs and just marry for money. Turns out she's the piece of shit, right? And then I think I called her a bitch a couple times, but it was all like part of the jokes, whatever. It's a chick. He's like, I don't get it, man. Seemed upset.

I called her a bitch. I did, yeah, but comedically, it's like I didn't say her to her face. Also, like, when you get off stage, people say terrible things about me once I get off stage, because they're going for the joke. They're going for the laugh. You want to play with the big boys?

That's how comedy works. Russell Peters, let me up. Yeah, just, he goes, he goes, give it up for Brennan. I'm surprised, usually when I see him, he's laying this way. Like, you get knocked down. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, I don't get it. Yeah, he's laying this way. Like, you're not counting. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, I don't think you'll find it. Yeah, that's just a dumb, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. If you just set it to your face or something, like that's, you're like, fuck you. No, yeah. But like on stage for laughs, like that's how comedy works. So anyways, she leaves, blocks me on all the social medias and then goes on this like three day,

like I was attacked on stage by Jeff Dye. Oh, really? And here's the thing, you can say the story, you could say that I said mean things about you or that I said, you people like how dare you. Well, here's the thing, she intentionally used the word attacked

because she wants, she knows if she says, Jeff Dye made jokes about me after I got off stage. Jeff Dye wrote it. Like, yeah, you're coming. But you intentionally used the word attacked because you want, you're trying to leverage some power And it's just trash young people do this all just I verbally assaulted yes, oh no my ex she wants that she was like oh The guy before she wasn't on my me. She was talking about the guy she did before she goes he was verbally abusive and you like bitch

Just say he was yelling you. Yeah, just say that's how it's at, aren't you? Say he was mean to you or he called you names. Abusive is quite a term. Yeah. You picture abuse. You don't picture like him going, what the fuck's wrong with you? But they have to use that lingo in order for people to jump on board.

Right. And what are your own questions? Roasted me, people are like, yeah, your comic is going to happen. Yeah. But we're using all these words just wrong. It's very, very annoying. It's triggering words to trigger that fanbite.

Yeah. So like, but what it's back to what you were saying is like, is like, my ex was a narcissist. Really? I just saw your posts. You look kind of like a narcissist to me. Is it, that's always a perfect lighting with your side tid out, like on every post.

Like, I don't know. You seem pretty narcissistic as well And you chose to be with you know An NFL tight end who's like the hottest thing in the world right now Yeah, it seems like you guys probably wear a perfect match. It seems like you guys were fit. Yeah watch out Taylor He's only after one thing you know that I count about as money and his social status Like you you fucking twine. Hahaha.

People are so stupid. You're so stupid. What do you got, kid? Kurt Evans? Yeah. All right, first one. Oh, well, we're gonna bring it sad right now, real quick. Uh-oh.

Matthew Perry. Oh, yeah, I didn't even hear about this till yesterday. I didn't know, yeah, till yesterday too. But put it apparently by. I saw Matthew Perry jokes before even pretty shocking. Oh, yeah, I didn't even hear about this till yesterday. I didn't know, yeah, till yesterday too. But apparently I saw Matthew Perry jokes before even knew that he had passed. And I was like, why is everyone dunking on Matthew Perry? Yeah, so apparently drowning, but apparently his dad told me he was like,

hey, drowned in a hot tub. And I'm like, he's jacuzzi, yeah. But isn't that how Whitney Houston died? Hers was the bathtub. And I think there was something that's daughter died in a bathtub too. Also drugs though. But this thing too, I think his also,

it was a heart condition. I think he sank into the water? Oh no. So I think they still need to do the auto, you know. Because I was reading a thing, so his parents put him on some medication and he was young and it made him an attic. So he's an attic from a very old attic.

Yeah, but he was working on it for a long time. Yeah, paint helps for sure. Very came on the reunion, a friend, just hammered, just blitz. Yeah, but he was working on it for a long time. Yeah, paint helps. Very came on the reunion of friend, just hammered just blitz. Yeah. I think this guy's awesome. That's good. Yeah, I think this guy's awesome. I can't go this guy.

It made me like a morgue. Um, but yeah, so he had not like any illegal drugs, but he did have like anti-depressants, anti-anxiety drugs, which if you guys ever ever taken it, it's, I have a part of it. I'm not taking it. Never? Like Xanax or anything? No. Okay.

I have it. It makes you really sleepy. I'm thinking he just took a bunch of stuff and then he just probably like. That's sad, Mary. I really like this guy. Yeah, I know it's a bug. I'm not, I don't want to show friends.

I've seen like an episode. You know when I stop watching, when we're going to pretend these five broke young adults get afforded that giant green. I know. People give me shit for watching pro wrestling like this is not in the end what they said last episode of friends they are like well thank god for rent control

and they answered how they can afford that apart now that it was a bad rent control works it's like a jude it's live there from since the sixties it's not like it's not like that that we've been here for four years yeah what happened we made it it right before years ago. Yeah That apartment would be I mean when I lived in New York all my neighbors like these elderly Jewish women who are like the sweetest women in the world who like sexually harassed me every day I'd come up this year like

There he is and then fucking pinch me like I made you some food you're gonna come down and hang out with me a little date You know it's fucking they're great ladies. I love them all, but they're also like, they paid a hundred a month and MTV was paying my rent of that place. It was like $14,000 a month. But it's not like they got rent control for what? That's what that was. Monica's grandma's a part. Oh, okay. That checks out. Sige kept living. Yeah. Let's get at least they buttoned up. You know. You could have said that early in the episode. Maybe I've been a fan. Uh, do you guys know the YouTuber Jack Doherty? Who? Jack Doherty? Uh, I'd have to see his name. I'm not, I don't know many YouTubers, but I might recognize him. So, how do you do? No, so it's not that. Not him. Is it? I just say what's he? I only watch Alex Jones on YouTube. So I'll just show you this picture real quick. You probably won't recognize it unless you're like

a younger dude, but that's Jack Dirty. I don't know. Apparently a popular YouTuber, his security guard, who was also the security guard for the baby, he knocked out this dude at a Halloween party. What's Debate Bates? Why did he knock them out? You'll see everything here.

And this is like a very famous grocery. Classic cooters outfit. What are they mad about? Apparently they're going at Jack Dory. Oh That guy's right right right back. I want to saying what? You're so funny. You're so funny. You're so funny. Dude. Geez, that was fucking... He is too big to be him people like that.

He's dead. You're all bad that would hurt. There's like three of us now. Yeah, that guy's dead now. Him and Matthew Perry. All the current events are just guys that are dead. She was like, I know. Wait, so what happens? So, no, so apparently like that guy, the popular YouTuber, Dirty, he actually had put that

film out that his security guard just knocked this guy out. Apparently those people were like coming at Jack Dirty for some reason, but it was not like, there's no way that that guy should have punched that way, you know? No, he's one of those liabilities. So Jack Dorody was like, he was just off to the right. He was, yeah, which is weird too.

He was trying to get it in. Isn't even close to Jack Dorody. And he insigated this, or he escalated the situation even more. That's the worst security can have. The ones that are looking for a problem. Yeah, you don't want that. No, so it's like having to cause you six and I

as a buddy. Yeah, he's just like, yeah, you cause me more problem. Hey man, we have McDonald's. You have to pull a gun on the lady. That's my favorite thing about Mike Tyson, right? So when you see Floyd money, right? It's because people are always gonna try tough guys. You know that probably better than anybody.

People are gonna try and whatever. And so like that's to protect Floyd, his the money team is to protect Floyd. Mike Tyson, his securities to protect you from Mike. Yes. Because Mike will fuck anyone up at any time. Maybe not Mike current times, but in back in the day he said,

I'm still in there. Try me dude. Yeah. No, Tyson's like a line at the zoo. I love to. He looks cool. Yeah, but wait a minute. Say some dumb shit.

See what happens. Yeah, so this is the same security guard. Apparently fans figured out this is the same security guard from the baby. And this is him guiding the baby out of a concert. What is that girl on him? I mean she's trying to punch her shrimp flirt or whatever. I kind of like you'll see here. I mean look at this is a mess. Well that one makes sense because that guy hit the baby. So someone did hit the baby. Unfortunately the security guard

hit the girl. This guy is bigger than I thought. He's gigantic. He's so big. Did that whole crowd is at his arm? Even the whole crowd are small people. By the way, this is him. They go, hey man. Can you put... His name's Kane.

If you wanna come to the baby show, you better be under 5'8". Look at the size of this guy. He's gigantic. I mean, he's got a lot of followers. He said no parents growing up, but I still came out decent. So 638,000. This guy rules.

And he's followed by Casey Neistat. Who the fuck is that? Who the fuck is that? The biggest YouTuber in the world, Casey Neistat. Hey man, you're doing the YouTube. This guy's so big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he hit that skinny white kid.

That was jacked up. That was not cool, man. He should not be doing that. If the kid hit him first, I get it, but he didn't. You know, if that, you talk about the soak and wet 13 year old, exactly, do you? If he hit him who gives a dude your so big.

Yeah, that was a dick moment. You're also gonna go to prison, but. Yeah, what do you think is gonna happen with that? lawsuit, because especially since he's associated with the youtubers worth millions That kid who is in that weird outfit. Yeah, he's gonna get millions just to make this go away. Yeah, that's a world we live in I don't see humiliated to get punched like that. It sucks, but that was a nice punch knock the fuck I'll be used to all his broke. Yeah, oh you think so. Oh, that would that just uh Knocked the I'd be used to all is broke. Yeah, oh you think so. Oh the wood that just uh

It wasn't like it wasn't like it was like a Thought yeah, but that was a cheap shot. So it doesn't count. It's the also like it was like yeah, what's up man? Yeah, it's a cheap shot. Get out of rough Halloween. Yeah, that's tough and also he fell back on some pavement I like how the girls like, how, what are you doing? Who else wants some? He goes, I'll punch you too. Who else wants one? I don't want that. Wait, what?

All right, here we go. Blink, what did you do? Said what the F is up with Denny's. Yeah, so. Oh, no, he performed in a Denny. Yeah, the boys from Blink wanted to recreate this like famous little, a meme gift where it's like a hardcore band playing like,

and Denny's and literally saying, what the fuck is up up Denny's. So they went out to Long Beach and they did a free and prompt to show pretty much announcing their new tour. Brother, the best thing ever happened to Denny. Oh, yeah, for sure. You've been a Denny. Back on the map, dude. Dude, I'll tell you right now, there's nobody eating that Denny's that has 75 summers. That place is a, yeah, shit. Dude, it is depressing. The sign of it's the lighting or what it is in there, but you go in, you go, what this is what it's called? Tooth to you. Like, I hate a man. Yeah, you got there. I'd rather be anywhere, but it dandies. Anyways, that's

can we hear it a little? I mean, we, okay, I can get it out though, but oh, I see. Okay, I can edit it out though, but oh I see. Well at least they still sound good. You can't hear anything. It sounds like chaos. You don't even have to bleep. Yeah, I don't have to. Actually, I'm gonna leave it. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don, don't, don, don, don't, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don Who are the flapjack? Yeah, someone get the grand slam meal here. Grand slam is up here. Just throw it in the ground.

Yeah. All right, what's this one? So, Magic Johnson just joined the billionaires club. He's technically now the fourth athlete to join this along with with a brawn Jordan and Woods. Oh, damn. But Magic's done it.

How much of that money did he get for pretending he had AIDS? Oh damn. But Mattrix done it. How much of that money did he get for pretending he had AIDS? Oh my God. Remember when he said hi everybody, I have HIV. And they were like fine. They were like, well I don't want to sweat on them. Yeah, they're like, these starts, dude it was so homophobic back then.

Cause the other players like, nah man, we don't feel comfortable down there in the post. We got it with A. What if he looks at us? Yeah. What if he sneezes? Yeah. And Jerry West was like, good point.

Yeah, good point. He's all valid arguments. We get it. We're making the guy retire. Yeah. It's exactly what they did. It shows if you have enough money can beat A.D.s up, man. Dude, no, I think that it's not a money thing.

I think they needed a face of like that and they just gave him a ton of money, so can you pretend you have this? Let's play in a world where he actually did have HIV. Also, there's only a few ways a straight man gets an eight. I know, why'd nobody talk about that? So is he a drug addict? I don't think so.

Did he have some butt sex maybe with a dude? Especially back then. Very likely. Very good. I heard that his kids have butt sex maybe with a dude, especially back then. Very likely. Very good out. I heard that his kids have butt sex with me. Only one though. One for sure. Yeah, his way is one son.

He bleeds an epogenetic. His one son's magical man. He had it. I do that. Those photos. He's also six nine. You could be the nicest guy in the world. You look at some of those photos and you just,

you go Jeff, don't laugh. You know, like when you see like Dwayne Wade's kid, or you see Magic's kid, you look at those photos and you're like, just be a good person. It's not funny. Oh dude, I think you see that photo. There's no way not to laugh at those photos. Do that to red carpet.

I was the comedy relief and Magic's son walked in. I was all, just gonna, I don't know. I'm not, it gets funny to me. Also out of all the sons, the only one who has all the sugar in the tank has the height. Yeah, oh yeah, it's true. The other ones are like small and then, you know, like you don't wanna pick up basketball,

he's like nah man. It's such a funny world we live in, like currently. And everyone is just, everyone is such a fucking coward that they don't wanna say anything. We just can't be honest. Yeah, I'd like to go back how magic got the age the HIV wait What's that photo six over on the top with a son who's jacked his back. Yeah That's magic and that's his other son. Yeah, no, that's a son. How many kids did he got? Boy magic is thick dude. Yeah, magic the beast. I love magic. Oh dude. He's more like Lebron than Lebron is a Jordan

He's the only one who's in the house real drill job ours nice. Yeah, so one of his sons is a Football player. No, that's not a Johnson. I look at the sons. That's Johnson the sons, it says Andre Johnson and E.J. Johnson. No, well no, different Andre. Yeah, Andre's one of the greatest subs, that's the Google's fault. And he's from Miami. Yeah, we're not mad at each other. Yeah, whatever. What does E.J. Johnson do for a life?

Like what is the, let's take a look. For what? Where are you on the rich kids of Beverly Hills? Hmm, I don't have seen that. A television personality, a socialite, and a fashion commentator. So nothing. Yeah.

What does the W and 9 say? Yeah. Where you make your money? Dad. Yeah, I think so. Also dad's a billionaire. I don't know. That's a funny thing about our life,

or the world we live in. My sister's just always be like, I'm gonna be famous, I'm like for what? I'm like, just, I just am. There's not no fame works. But it is now. You can't just do nothing. But it is now.

I know now, now. Everyone thinks it should be famous just because they're hot. Well, when I was a kid, my dad was like, if you're just staying and playing video games, you're gonna be a loser and never make any money. My son's like, dad, I'm just gonna play video games like all right Share with dad could make a billion, you know start a twitch kid. What do you got?

God dog. Yeah, it's EJ It is dad invested in totally worth a month to keep magic movie theaters Movie theaters kind of down right now, but back in the day, he made all his money with in Starbucks. I'm in Starbucks. You put Starbucks in like hoods. Yeah, I, you know, like movie theaters, you think they're done?

Oh, I love them. I'm just saying lately that I've been going about once a week. I'm back into it, man. I like it. It feels like a whole thing. Do you see the new, this like whole event? Yeah, I like the movie. I do.

Do you see the new Leonardo DiCaprio movieera movie. No looks boring. It's a good I see it hurts three like smart stuff. I'm like a pretty simple guy. I like scary movies. No, I like scary But I like a jet ski on fire some hot chick. I like that kind of stuff Like a big rollbottles. No, not that but like I don't know. I just I like a action the like Meg you see this thing Yeah, my kid kiddos love it. I like giant shark. You got I I'm in charts. I'm in what's it got Jason Statham? Yeah He's been a four in movies. He's got five lines total. He jumps on the shark. He's awesome. I love it I'm gonna blow the shark up. You like that's my guy, dude. I'll watch it. What's this, Jen? Georgie. Oh dude. This is great. Have you seen do some play basketball little Chinese kid? Oh boy. Yeah, a ton of fans sent this in he trucks them

himself too. Let me refresh he trucks this kid trying to like cross him over I can't wait for the comment. Oh Lookie and he can't get the ball on his finger like he keeps trying yeah, oh look back. What's up kid? What's up kid? He's trying? Yeah, oh look behind the back. What's up kid? What's up kid? He grabs that guy. I just fuck with you man.

Oh he's supposed to be mortified. He's alright, we just buff. And he lands on his legs. The kid's legs. Dude, he keeps trying to handle the ball like he's all good at it. He does cross him up at first. Boom! We gotta start a campaign to stop making these,

stop pretending politicians are cool. It started with Obama, where like because he's a black guy with, they would like interview him, like on ESPN, like, oh, tell us about your bracket. Dude, I want you at a desk, stacks of papers, pulling your hair out, going, how are we gonna get out of this fucking Iraq? I don't wanna about your bracket. Dude, I want you at a desk, stacks of papers, pulling your hair out, going, how are we gonna get out of this fucking Iraq?

I don't wanna hear your bracket. I don't care. I don't wanna hear you on Jimmy Kimmel. Yes, what are you doing at a first-pitch for whites? Get the fuck away, man. They're not cool. Like, he's trying to put it behind his back. Like, look, I'm gonna dunk on a Chinese kid.

Stop it. You're not cool, you're not interesting. Dude, boring politics, shit. Hey, guys, I'm gonna dunk on a Chinese kid stop it. You're not cool. You're not interesting. Do boring politics shit Yeah, why are we talking to them? Don't get why we're he's trying not to be like we have real journey Lynn over here Oh, hey, dude. Yeah, the only Asian playing. You know, it's unreal All right, what's this one? All right? Is it okay? I'll do it. Well you guys are talking about SeaWorld earlier All right, what's this one? All right. Is this your snack? Okay, I'll go do it. Well, you guys were talking about SeaWorld earlier.

Literally the best way. Yeah, well, this Australian server literally got like manhandled by a killer whale while surfing. And I don't know why people go into the ocean. I think it's a manhandled. At least that's humpback. Are you trying to be the YouTube, like help YouTube algorithm by saying unlived? No, I'm just kidding.

Manhandled. Manhandled into heaven. I mean, just watch the clip. Alright, watch the clip. So it is, he's already mad at me. Oh, look at this. Did you rewind it? Did you rewind it?

Oh, so did the whale just jump? And then hit him. I, tell me if I'm crazy or if you guys agree. I don't think that's a coincidence. No, he's probably killed his brothers and shit. So he's like, fuck humans. Well, I think that like these animals keep jumping up on boats.

Yeah, there was like the Orca attacks. Yeah, they're like, you're not trying to hurt anybody but they're like eating at the boat or like getting up on like things. They've been knocking, these seals have been knocking surfboarders over. Yeah, I think it. It seems like a thing, like a pattern.

The front light. It's in dolphin shit. Dolphins like yeah, I can surfers over. Yeah, it's happened So I think it's a thing like I don't know I'm actually like I don't think that's smart. They're also living the ocean board is shit Yeah, dude, I don't like dude. Don't that piece of shit over there down there like us and they want to go to the surface and fuck with these Dorks on the boys go man. He's like what are we gonna do? It looks like kids getting trouble. They don't have jobs. No.

Let's go upstairs and let's go to the top of the surface and fuck with these. What's the tin? Oh, so Brian, our boy Brian Cowell sent us this video and I thought it was kind of weird. Right, I was like, or some piece. It was like random, it's like weird, but he sent us this video and then he made sure

to make us look at the comments. So I'll show you the video first. This is priming me like, make sure you show this video for me. I don't know what this is. So that's her husband, this girl. Is this salmon run? Hurry, she's doing nothing. Hurry.

So she wants to save the salmon. She's gonna die in front of us. Grab by the tail. No, no, no, no. You can do it. So he can't do it. She's grab it. So she grabs, no, no. You can do it. This guy. So he can't do it. Just grab it.

So she grabs a little plastic bag. Wait, it's not dead and they put them in the plastic bag. No, by the way, they're messing with nature here. Oh my. These people have no business being a nason. I'm so annoyed. Just catching a sprout. Great job.

So the main thing was the guy, the husband was just so, yeah, he couldn't even grab a fish. He could buy us stupid head, but it doesn't mean you'd be good ninja. Wait he calms it this this? Yes. So even Johnny, John Moan Jones. I'll tell him, make the podcast, give him a screeching halt from Dalek. No, but read the comments.

I'm telling you, when I read the comments, it was so funny. This can't be real. You both need to start seeing other men. That's a great point, dude. There's so many good ones here. I've got to put Johnny Stoffman isn't actually gay. He has to be. There's no way.

And I got 7,000 likes. So it's there. Why don't you just put the fish in his purse and get it? I thought it was real. It's about the comments. This makes me embarrassed. Oh, and it's super. The super comments so fast.

This dude's daughter's the man of the house. It proves to find a brand new Patigucci from REI. It doesn't automatically make you an outdoorsman. I was so fast. This dude's daughter is the man of the house. I was. I was. I was. Proofed by a brand new Patagucci from REI. Doesn't auto like to make you an outdoorsman. That's what I was saying. You bought the dumb hat. Now act like a fucking outdoorsman.

So put a flat tire must be detrimental for you. I mean, there's so many. This video dropped my T levels 300 points. Your wife's boyfriend would have grabbed that fish. Oh, pro. Oh, my God. There's a lot of likes. There's so many amazing comments.

Bro, it's a fish. Holy crap, we need more natural predators. That fish is more firmer than his engine. Oh, dude, they're so good. Yeah, but there's tons. Anyways, we can't go through all of it. Dude, this is awesome, many. Also, it is pretty problematic that he couldn't just grab a fucking

fuck. Dude, when I looked at it, I was like, oh my god, dude. The fish is a big soul. We're not talking about like a big tuna where you got that's the whole waste or something. Or like, a calf is without like, you know, I would assume he's in electric cars. Well, a calf is can even bite you, don't hurt. Yeah, against pride, the guy probably drives a Tesla. That's a lie.

That's a big Tesla. It's that cold vibe. Oh, you have a Tesla now, right? That's a bummer. Oh, you. That's a lie. It's that cool vibe. Oh, you have a Tesla now, right? That's a bummer. Oh, you can't talk about that. It is funny. Actually, it's funny.

I was on a show in this guy the other day before me, who was like, he was like, I'm not one of these little bitch-ass guys. I'm trying to think what he started with. He was saying, oh, these bitch-ass straight white males who drive Teslas and have a golden doodle, right? And then I just literally nudged the guy go, put me on next. Yeah, that's exactly about to fuck this show up. I'm very straight, very white, very male,

and I have a Tesla and a fucking golden doodle, so let's go. But you have a Tesla golden doodle, but then you also have like a giant military jeeps. You're the outlier with Teslas. I also am the only Tesla with like military wheels and like a lift and tires. You're different,lier with Tesla. I also'm the only Tesla with like military wheels and like a lift and tires. You're different. You get a pass.

I've affected the range of my Tesla by half by putting giant military tires and wheels on it. Looks cool. Yeah, it does look badass. Is that it, too? That's it, unless you guys want another one. Jeffrey, where are you at, dude, you on tour? I am, but I'm not sure where I'm at.

So let's look at my calendar here. I go to Canada soon at Ontario, no, Ontario's California's. All right, November 8th, Ontario, California, go to the improv. Then I'm in Calgary, Alberta at the last shop, November 9th to the 11th. The Alabra is great.

And then San Jose for the improv, November 16th. So check me out or go to Jeff.com, get your tickets, please. Oh, then you're going to come here with Greenwood Village. Yeah, from my best friend news, Eve weekend. Oh, dope. Tell him how to come out. Yeah, I have some people there for sure. I'm in Niagara Falls, New York this Friday Saturday.

Both shows almost sold out. That's one show Friday, one show Saturday with Brett Forte, the great Brett Forte, Ratside Buffalo, I hear. I'm in Chicago December 8th and 9th. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, and they keep on trucking tour continues in January. One night in Nashville, January 25th, then two nights in Austin, Texas, January 26th, 27th. All right, kids, Jeff, love you, buddy.

Love you, man. Thanks for having me, bro. We're out. We love you, Calon. Guess who's on the Adam Corolla show? Jim Jeffries. I got thoughts on Pandas. The Panda has two things going for it in terms of why Americans love it so much. The fur, the forementioned fur, with the black patch on it. Back in the die you could watch him on a black and white TV and it was still the same experience. That's right. My old zenith would have been fine with a pen.

We should have referred to black and whites as pandasats. Yeah. When I said to my dad, can we get rid of the black and white 13 inch dinas and you want to throw the panda out? Come on now, boy. They're also the only animals in the zoo that we seem to know the names of. You know, you go see the bear, it's the bear,

you go see the tiger, the tiger, then you see the pandas. That one's Lingling. That's right. It'll be told whatever the name is. The Adam Corulgeo, wherever finer podcasts are found. the pan is that one's linked that's right that's what the name is the atom corollogel wherever finer podcast surfound