The Fighter & The Kid - Throwback FAVES with Andrew Schulz & Andrew Santino | TFATK Ep. 1011

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

We pick some of our favorite moments with Andrew Schulz & Andrew Santino on TFATK, enjoy! Away - Head on over to https://awaytravel.com/fighter to see the new softside luggage from Away Progressive - https://www.progressive.com/ Greatness Wins - Upgrade your athletic wear at https://greatnesswins.com/ NOW. Use code FIGHTER and you’ll receive 25% Off on your first purchase! O'Reilly Auto Parts - https://oreillyauto.com/FIGHTER Sportsmans Cove Lodge - Sportsmans's Cove Lodge - http://alaskasbestlodge.com/ Use code “TFATK” at checkout for 10% off your first trip!

Yes, we did. Because we back at it again. It's the fighter and the kid. This is really the fighter and the kid. Come on, baby. It's all, let's do this. Kalan just woke up. I just woke up.

Kalan just woke up. We have a special guest in the house. The man, the myth, the legend, Andrew Schultz. Hey. Thanks for coming in man thanks for having me he's been saying good things about you Andrew I'll take it I've heard good things about it I think everyone does last night around the water cooler at the comedy store we were talking about you as a comic and

someone said top five right now okay I haven't seen I haven't seen your fucking stand-up yeah no gotta give a watch man gotta watch great I love see I say I'm so ignorant with this then this then the door guys my my my guys Derek they go dude he's like he's like they're describing we're trying we're talking to Rogan about it he's like he's like a Bill Burr but younger wherever Bill Burr's line is he fucking goes past oh boy yeah guys yeah after all right let's go man Oh boy, here we go. Guys, yeah, guys are getting after it. Is that right? Let's go, man. I'm excited.

I've been a fan for a while and then you do, you have so many, how many shows do you have? Because people give me shit, but you got a lot of shit going on. You got to do it. Yeah. That's why I like, I like your, I like your model, man. So I do Brilliant Idiots with Charlamagne. And then I do Flavorant 2. And that's with my buddy Akash, hilarious comic and Comic, and Kaz, and then we have a Patreon app

for that as well, and then I do a few other shows on my YouTube, I kind of made like YouTube my comedy network, so I have this like show. Do you want to do TV, do you want to do like a regular network show? No, I don't care about that. Yeah, I used to think that I was supposed to do that, you know what I mean, and congrats by the way.

No, no, no, no, no, no, listen, I would have told you. It's for sellouts, but congrats. I would have told you, I would have told you. But you're a thespian like. Yeah I mean I went to school to study acting and all that shit. Plus you've been in tons of tv shows. But it's different it's like like like like Dove you know like Dove David Dove like okay yeah so it's like he's an actor. Dove's a fucking great actor. He's a really good actor. I just knew dove is the stand-up great Come on, and then I see him act and it's like, okay So there are guys who truly love to do it. I think I was doing the acting stuff like I did some shows I had a sitcom I did like a dramedy, you know that kind of stuff and like I

think I was doing it because That's what I was told I was supposed to do as a comic. Yeah It's like oh you're a comic and then you get your sitcom and then you do this and all I was supposed to do as a comic. It's like, oh, you're a comic, then you get your sitcom, and then you do this. And all I really wanted to do was have a fan base and then perform live. That's why I wanted a special. And then when everybody said no,

when I filmed my own special and everybody said no, and I put it out myself, I realized, oh, I don't want a special, I just wanted to connect with fans see that's how I feel That's right. I think a lot of us feel that way right so so This special like when you think about a Netflix special is what you really want is people to see it so you can Play big crowds you can write Yeah, you want you want people go oh, he's not my money off your special real never you can but the money

We make money on the road. That's what we do. Yeah, that's an infomercial for it for you. Exactly. I'm see show check it out, man And it's like so here's the question now right is like is the special the best infomercial? I Don't think it is meaning bit But I want to talk to you and we could talk off air about like yours and how You know we could really get people to watch it but also get the most out of it You know I mean, and I think you have one coming up too I saw an advertisement for that but it's like know what I mean? And I think you have one coming up too. I saw an advertiser for that, but it's like- Because I don't mean to interrupt, because you-

Oh, go. When I was listening to Brilliant Idiots on the way here, on my drive here, and you and Charlamagne were talking about Deuce's Mero. Deuce's Mero, Deuce's Mero. Yeah, yeah. And they're on Showtime, on network, right? Yes. And you go, I just hope it correlates, because then being on a network TV and being on that Yeah, kind of brand their fan base is digital. Yes, like that's that's what I go. That's it. Oh, that's it. Oh, that doesn't work

It doesn't really work. Yeah, but if you get Bill Simmons, you know Simmons on HBO. Nobody's a monster digital Mon you won't leave it. I'll leave it all your job on HBO because people go look he has all these views Yeah, let's bring it here goes away. It goes away. It doesn't nothing it was a You got to look at it like TVs now. Everything's a screen and a TV is just a shitty phone. That's right, dude That's all that is is a horrible phone, right? It doesn't call nobody, right? Doesn't text nobody all it does is the video watching thing in your phone Yeah, right. So like if you put your whole special out on YouTube, I Think it's gonna explode in a way different way than it would if you put it on Showtime

Like if I'm Showtime, this is the conversation I have with you off there, but maybe we fucking have we have it on there This is what I do with Showtime. I say, Showtime, give me the whole special, I'm gonna cut it up into clips, I'm gonna put it on my YouTube, and this is just a branding thing to bring awareness to me as Showtime talent, and now you're gonna watch Below the Belt, or all these other funny things,

because that's what Showtime wants, right? They just want eyeballs. They're not gonna make no money off this special. Right, it's just they're investing as you as talent on the network. And that's what I did. Like, when everybody said no to my special. This was over a year ago.

This is a year ago? Almost two years ago I filmed it, right? So I filmed this special. I did like five clubs in New York. I did like the cab rides in between. And the idea was like a night in New York. And I broke my hour up into that. Just so you know, in New York what we used to do is you'd go from like, you'd go from

Stanton, New York, comic strip, you'd go to New York Comic Club on 24th Street, then you'd go down to- Ray Romano did a- You'd go down to Seller, and we would do that, and you could actually pay your rent that way. You could actually make money that way. So you shot your special like that. So this is two years ago, right?

And literally what you described is how I did the hour. And I did it like that because that's how I built the hour like you know people listen that are comics know it's like a lot of times you don't build this an hour time you build this ten minutes at a time five minutes at a time at these little spots so I did I did the cameras in between it was like boom here's the hour I try to shop to everybody everybody says no lowest point my comedy career now been there but yeah and it's like, but the comedy, the stand-up world has never embraced me

for whatever reason, it doesn't matter. How so? Eh, just, I've never done, the reason you never seen me, I've never done stand-up on TV or any of these types of things, right? But it's okay, it was prepared me for what I am today. Like I needed to go through, everything needed to be stripped in order for me to lead, right?

So it's like, I put out this, I started asking my friends, you can learn so much about comedy from asking people who are comics right and I was like who you watching on Netflix right and everybody would say you know the names that we all know Malini, Chappelle and then I'd be like did you like it yeah it was really good but I mean I didn't finish it everybody kept saying I didn't finish it. Everybody. So I'm like okay so they're not watching the whole thing boom instead of me putting out the So I'm like, okay, so they're not watching the whole thing.

Boom. Instead of me putting out the hour, I'm going to do a 15 minute version of this. Right? I put out the 15 minute version that week and I sell out some shows down in San Diego and I wasn't a sellout guy. And you put it out on YouTube. On YouTube, on my YouTube page. Right?

15 minute version. Best meal is one you can have one more bite of, right? So I put it out. I sell some shows. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? This one more bite of right so I put it out I sell some shows I'm like what the fuck is going on is weird all right I go you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna get into this I'm gonna like start putting out clips every week so I start putting out a clip every single week for a year from that special because I had another 30 minutes left or 45 minutes left of that special and then

I had other jokes that I didn't put in it but there was like material that I had to like throw away because I was willing to throw it away anyway and I had the new hour because I was touring with that I put it out and all of a sudden the clips start to go viral and like I start to selling out shows and I go on these tours and the venues are getting bigger I do an international tour that I sell out like things start getting crazy which is all that matters. Dude so it's like all so in the moment I realized what I, right? I didn't care about getting the special as much as I cared about being able to touch the people.

There's nothing like it. Because that special is a validation, right? I think it's when you walk around other comics, they go, your special you picked up? And you go, HBO, Showtime. It used to be, it used to be, because what used to happen is we correlated that special with selling out tickets, right? But now we have friends of ours that we all know that have our specials on Comedy Central

that are doing $1,500 weekends in major markets. They can't sell it. Tickets! It's true, it's true. The reason I sell so well now is because of this podcast. Intimacy. And no one can find my shit. So I'm gonna take my old special, which has been sitting

you know in Neverland and put it on YouTube, this new one that's coming out, at least it'll be on every platform. Don't put it on YouTube the full thing. And that's why I want to talk to you about this. No, no, no, you take pieces, right? So what I did is I did a new piece every single week and this is what happens. I made it digestible. If I said, hey, you want to listen to this guy talk for an hour?

You tell me fuck myself. I don't want to listen to nobody talk for an hour. That's right. Right? So a stranger seeing you and going, I want to listen to this guy for an hour is absurd. Ridiculous. It's just absurd. Especially in 2019.

Especially now with all the great shit. I love some of these comics and I find myself after 20, 30 minutes, I'm wandering off on Texas. Imagine you didn't know. I'm so fascinated by this conversation though because it's the- It gets crazier. This is changing for me as a dude who's been right. Callity gets crazy and it's the right time for all of us to have it because you both have. Let's go. Get your cashmere off. I'm taking my gray cashmere off. You know what Brian I'm gonna

stop charging you the 20% royalty for your career. That's what I'm gonna do for you. I'm pissed off that you guys are both hip too. You guys there's something hip about the way you're dressed but you're young huh? You're young. This good. It's supposed to be that way. I'm also I'm old swollen face It's alright. Don't eat a wheel. You know what you need is You need to swell up a little bit when you get older cuz I don't like it when when it's too bony Yeah, you're right Madonna has that like weird. You're right. I need a little Still tight as fuck though is that all is that weird? I can't tell yeah, but you will later I can't make sure but you know what I'm saying. Yeah, you know what the fuck You't tell yeah, but you will later when I take my shirt. Oh, yeah, I'm saying yeah

You need to stretch You fuck I mean I'm coiled up ready the fuck are you talking about hey, bro school him school the guest school a As but keep going cuz I love this so we put it out, right? And I just put out these little bits. And I started to notice this thing that would happen. Somebody, my YouTube guy, would hit me. And he'd be like, hey, man, there's something cool happening. I'm like, what's up? And he'd be like, people watch one video,

and then they watch for two hours. Right? And I'm like, what? He goes, yeah, they get in a wormhole, and they just keep watching. And I go, really? So Netflix can't get someone to watch for more than 20 minutes. We got people watching for two hours.

Binging, right? They're binging because it's right in front of them is right there. And it's, it's got it. You got to have the goods obviously, but it's right there. It's right in front of them. It's always accessible. Right. And it's not this thing where when you sit down

and watch an hour long Netflix thing, you're like, I need to be here for an hour. You don't for me. You need to be there for three minutes. And then when that bit's over, it's over. And you can come back another time. I could save Netflix, they're just idiots that run Netflix comedy.

They're fucking incompetent. I could save that whole fucking model with two technological changes Really the whole thing the whole fact that they haven't figured this out yet. I say it every single I don't know what you do because yeah I almost don't want to give it to him until because I think Whitney's doing hers for Netflix And I think I'm gonna give it to Whitney so that she can be the be like be the person that gets to But I mean what you're saying about this about and he's been saying this too is so that she can be the person that gets to break off of that.

But I mean, what you're saying about this, and he's been saying this too, is that we are living in a time when, and I do this all the time, you have 15 minute chunks. You have five minute, you know, and that's what we do, and I'm on YouTube all the fucking time. All the time, all the time. How do I watch you guys, YouTube,

when I watch the chunks? Yeah. You know what I mean? I'll watch these little, the highlights. Yeah, I'll watch these little highlights, or like a 12-minute conversation. Clips. Right? This is going to sound even weirder and you'll laugh at it, but I love to box. I like to

work at it. I'm never going to be... But I learn more sometimes watching five-minute clips on YouTube of some really high-level coach who teaches you a little something. If I have a sync issue, I go on, like everything is, but comedy, especially like if I want to get entertained. But with comedy too, like let's say you don't know who Andrew is and you watch a clip. I'm the guy, if I see something for three minutes that kills, I go, I'm in. Where he's coming to where? He'll be in LA.

I, I mean. That changed my whole career. It's how it goes. All of us are. Literally changed my whole career. It's like, if there's any kind of. I don't need an hour salesman. Exactly. Because I'm paying for a babysitter. I'm paying for I'm gonna spend $100

It's a hundred all night. Yep, and that's a lot of money for most people. Yes, so that's a hundred bucks Let's call it 75 80 bucks. That's like holy fuck man. I better know and I don't have time I'm what we'll get the kids the vets over there and then put it on them. I'm watching We help it the movies have been doing it though. The movies give you that little snip preview yours. Damn. That's right That's right. When's it come out? I'm buying a ticket for the whole thing. That's exactly right But that's the thing like and if there's any comics citizen right now it's like if you don't have clips up on YouTube right now, you're retarded because Nobody's going out to your show that weekend without seeing what you're like first. Well, I've had to build it on the road

Slowly because I wasn't so my first special showtime. Yes, that's locked up. I don't even know where it is. I have to talk to the people that own it. I can't I can't even release it gets flagged. So now that's that's that's on Instagram. Release on Instagram and Twitter. Yeah, all right.

It doesn't matter where it is. That's another thing like put that out. But also I was from 1974. No, but still, but still is it there's some really good two on it. Just two cameras. No crane, black and white. Well, there's no sound, it's mine, it's all mine. People are smoking. You better fuck me. You're serious.

And they're laughing like this. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. That's like fucking Zach Galifianakis, he was doing stand-up in 1700. Like, hey, I just came down from Boston, don't do that trip.

Took me 14 days. But yeah man, so, but you got me thinking. You got me thinking. You gotta put it out. But here's the question. I have zero material on YouTube. Different road, different path. But here's the question though.

I'll tell you why. Here's the question, like I wonder at times. So now I'm working on my new special. My one hits March 12th. I'm doing press, like I'm working on my new special. My one hits March 12th. I'm doing press, like I'm doing the craziest amount of press, but you can get it on all the platforms. All right, fine. But we also know-

Do you do press now for it? No, not yet. Okay. You only do press when they can get to- That's what I'm saying. Yeah. In fact, they tried to and I was like, hold on. No, waste of time.

People forget. Correct. So, and again, they forget. So do it right away where they can go to, they can go rent and buy it But I agree with you that for me the biggest thing is I want people come I want to sell out theaters I want I don't give a fuck. I just want a lot of people to come see because I love performing That's what I live for I'll never give that motherfucker away. Give it away Costco give it away

I wish I'd hit this if I had this Costco do but I had this conversation with this motherfucker I wouldn't give it away. I wish I'd hit this if I had what does Costco do Brian had this conversation with this Motherfucker, I would have given it away. I don't trust you My back for seven, you know what man you should have seven you should have had him on earlier way to go There goes my I gotta wait another two years. No, you don't just keep because it benefits everybody involved to give it away I think that you could go to whatever company. We give this podcast away. Look fame is all about intimacy now. It used to be about distance. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. Like and who gets it better than Will Smith? Will Smith bombs four movies in a row. But he's so fucking smart he goes, what the fuck is happening? I'm Will Smith. Yeah. Whatever I do wins and this is not winning.

What's going on? And he realizes, oh shit, fame is not about hiding out in the hills and then coming out and doing a movie two times a year or one time a year. Fame now is about, hey, how you doing? Hey, I'm here. Hey, this is my family. Hey, this is everything that's going on. That's what we do.

I'm normal. I'm like you guys. What do every one of your fans say when they meet you, right? They know you. They say it like they know you guys. They feel like they know you guys. And they do. And they do. What was fame 10 years ago, 15 years, 20 years ago? He goes, I know you know you guys know you guys and they do and they do what was what was famed ten years ago?

15 years 20 years ago. He goes. I know nothing Why is Johnny Depp a bozo serious? He's a boy Is he a pirate? He has no friends he didn't come down to the real world so go what the fuck are you doing? What do you have so many necklaces on? He doesn't have a friend who can tell him, hey bro, enough with the fuck, look at that. Go to the top left one and you can see

the full front row of Brian Callan's first. Oh! Hold on man, this is a delight. Dude, just keep hitting the arrow, hit that arrow on the side, blue chain. See that arrow on the side? I mean, if you hit that arrow. I mean, dude, what is going on, just keep hitting the arrow. Hit that arrow on the side. See that arrow on the side? If you hit that arrow, it'll just keep popping. I mean, dude, what is going on, dude?

There you go. Dude, he's just out, man. He's not one of us. He looks sick. He's not a human. He doesn't look healthy. It's like he's from another planet. He doesn't look healthy at all.

He just has no idea what's happening on. And when someone goes, dude, some of your movies are terrible, no one's telling them that. I know. He thinks he's Jack Sparrow. He really does He does he's actually don't wear eyeliner. He's wearing awesome. But what I think is interesting too back to Will Smith is he went? Okay, I'm doing these movies They are bombing. I need to get down to put my ear to the ground and he goes so Instagram is what everyone's all about

Oh cool. You want to see what talent looks like in Instagram? Boom! Boom! So Will takes talent, game over. He ran the game. You look at his page and you go, oh shit! Three months. All these youtubers and Instagram models are trying to come up with creative shit and then a real guy with real talent goes I'm gonna put some resources in this put my creative brain behind it and his page is like nobody else. Crazy, he's the best. YouTube, Instagram, all that shit. He's the best. By far. But he just recognized the shift, and a lot of people don't recognize the shift. The networks don't recognize the shift, but they don't want to recognize it because... This gives the artists, for the first time ever, autonomy. We're in control.

This is like, the amount of... He was with me, I was fretting. I work on the special, it's the best thing I've ever done. I'm like, Netflix won't watch knew he was with me. I was fretting. Oh, I work on the special It's the best thing I've ever done. I'm like whose Netflix won't watch it, you know showtime pass. I'm like same same shit I'm like how the fuck I know what I do I know what I do to audiences I you know not to be but it's the only thing I'm really talk your shit boy Right. I mean bomb last night. We can't Know it was it but I you know, I was like, how is this not, and again, fucking hate.

But you don't need, no one needs them. No one needs them. Because you control your own destiny. You could have taken clips and just, it's old model. And we make our money when we do theaters. That's the thing that like, if you're not a standup or you're not someone who could do the live show, now's a scary time.

If you're just a producer, you gotta be shit in your pants, right? Because you can't produce a show and then tour it. You gotta get paid for that show you produce. The way I look at the comedy game is like, we're just 10 years behind music. I'm the first SoundCloud comedian, put it that way. Musicians just start giving their shit away

and then they make money on the road, they sell out the garden, that's a million. That's all they care about. That's all they, we give a fuck about the music. I don't give a fuck about it. Music's doing it, yeah. And but the main thing is- Merchant Road. Merchant Road. The jokes are for you always, it's like,

what we do, anybody who leads, right? Like, you gotta take power. Power has to be taken. You can't, no one gives you power. You have to fucking grab it out of somebody's hand. Correct, especially in this business. Correct. In anything in life, right? And the, but the thing about taking power

is that's the last thing you take, right? Because once you're in power, all you do is give, right? These are your people, you protect your people, somebody's trying to go to war with you, you're the first one on a horse, like, alright, let's go fuck those two's up. And it's like, you have to be prepared to handle that kind of power.

Not everybody is. Like you have some scumbag kind of leaders. The spoiled prince, the son of the king who took power, is a cuck, he's a fucking bitch. Because he never had to take it. He's trying to validate himself. So that's what we were. We're trying to validate ourselves with these specials.

That's my whole career. It's like, hey, this is a good comedy. But also, that's my big, see, I'm older. And so this model, Hollywood model forever has been, I did this for- I just want to smash cut of you saying I'm older in different episodes. Exactly.

More and more smaller. Swell, Swell. 400 episodes. And my friend on my face goes, scratch, and bam! And just ties. Your hairline's like that. Head explosion.

Head explosion, yeah. Not to cut you, go on, go on. But so, my entire career, let's just take the last 17 years, but really the past 23. When you're an actor and you come to Hollywood, you are this person who went to theater school. There were channels.

So you go to theater school, you spend like, you know, and then you of course get into an acting class because you see, you have to win that audition and there are suits, they wear suits and they wear smart dresses. And back then it was mostly men. And you would walk into a room with these men and it was all about, and you'd wait in a waiting room

with your fucking sides and you'd wait there and you room with your fucking sides, and you'd wait there, and you'd be, and by the way, you needed this job because you knew that there was a pilot season, there was a small window where all the fucking networks, they would buy your pilot, and then they would green light your pilot, and oh my God, and then they would cast it. And now, whoever they were, you would have this they,

you didn't know who they were, but you'd come into that room and there'd be they, and they would never, they'd just be like, hi, how are you? And they were, you would have this day, you didn't know who they were, but you'd come into that room and there'd be day and they would never, they'd just be like, hi, how are you? And they were all, they would sit there and you do your, still going on. Still going on. But it was everything back then because, because if you got a sitcom, if you got, um, there was no

standup was nobody was making money on standup. You have to understand nobody back then. Industry doesn't make money on us. Nobody back then. Nobody was making do. Nobody had, we didn't have standup really. When you did standup, you did like Rogan would do, like there were clubs that were set up, but you were never making real money.

You just weren't. Some people, very few people were. But more importantly, the industry wasn't, and that's why they didn't invest in it. A joke is an avocado. Yeah. Right? It's like, the second you cut that shit open.

That's right. You're done. You're Right? It's like, the second you cut that shit open, That's right. It's, you're done. You're done. There's no shelf life. And so all of it, every performer, whether you were an actor, you had to, you were the lowest man on the tonal portal. No matter what, you just had no power. No matter what. You just, it was up to you.

And sometimes somebody would sneak through on a show, they'd get popular, and then you had power. For a while, until that show went away. And then it'd start all over again. And it seems like now, man, for the first time it's all flipped. Because it used to be a buyer's market, now it's a seller's market. Now it's a seller's market.

And we own the creativity. It's fucking cool. Yeah, that's the other thing about it. So when we did this podcast, he goes creativity. We had all these offers, Fox, everybody wanted to kind of buy it, or they wanted to own it. And he was like, no, let's just do it ourselves smart. You know, you have to it's the only way you Then we left Fox when they're like, well, we need 50% I was like, well, we're out. Yeah

Yeah, do we don't all we need is two mics. That's right. Why would we give you 50%? I'm out and there's still people in podcasts who goes. Yeah, I'm thinking about signing with this You're caught in this matrix right we're like we all get caught in the matrix the success is equivalent to money matrix podcast who goes, yeah, I'm thinking about signing with this network. Validation. It's hilarious. It's hilarious. You're caught in this matrix, right? Where like, we all get caught in the matrix. The success is equivalent to money matrix. And I think the second you realize like how much joy you get from doing what you do and everything else is icing on the cake, then you can pull yourself out of it.

I was locked in it too. That's why I was so down from when everybody said no. Because you, but you also, you come from, and I wonder if I'd be curious if I'm sure your fans know, but you, I mean, you were an MTV guy. Oh yeah. Network deals and shit like that. Like I was at, I had multiple shows. I did a right after MTV, I was a lead in a sitcom, you know, I, uh, but that's your background.

What sitcom? Uh, it was called benders. I loved doing that. When you and charlomaine were talking about your guys time on mtv The freaking talent that was walking around as crazy as mtv will blow your mind really just everybody now came up through there I mean like david said, you know was there p like if you if you even want to like chop up the The business, you know, like if you want you even want to like chop up the the business You know like if you want to look at like the young black comics like who will be the next kings of comedy

Yeah, like all those dudes the Carls Miller Chico beans like the DC young flies like these guys came up through while now I mean D is a marrow who are on showtime right now They came up through MTV to like Duval who's been popping for a while Charlemagne myself I'm a dance odor like you want to go to like monsters the new for a while, Charlamagne, myself, even Dan Soder. Like you want to go to like the- Monsters. The New York guy. I work with Charlamagne.

I don't know. He's fucking the best. Smart guy. So sharp. And so honest. Like I've seen him take Kanye to task and- Yeah, he's brilliant, man. And I remember that one guy who came in and was really mad at him, that rapper who was

like, you know- Oh yeah, Birdman. Birdman, yeah. He's like a producer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's such a- he. How did you how did you did you guys meet at empty? Yeah, we met at MTV and it was just like I think before Charlemagne was the guy at MTV I was the guy there right like they would have me hosting the spring breaks and hosting the European music awards and shit Like so I bet you guys didn't fuck any girls

Faithful. Faithful men. Are you married? Or you got a girl? Nah, nah, but I had a girl, stupidly I had a girl at that time. During that time? Bro. It was bad, it was bad. Did Charlamagne? Yeah, he's had a wife for like 18 years, but he used to cheat.

Yeah, I know. Now he's part of like the faithful black man community. Yeah, he talks about it. He's like, I'm one of the few faithful. Chill out, dude. He brags about now being faithful to his wife. I love it though. He's so honest. I love that motherfucker. I love that guy. I love that guy.

So, so during that time you were the man that Charlemagne came in. Charlemagne, then Charlemagne comes in. He is, he like takes over New York radio. Like what he did with, 105.1 is really, only like Stern did that back in the day. Did he come, did he get a start with Wendy Williams? He got a start with Wendy and he did that, and he did stuff with Wendy and he had been working in Philadelphia I think, and he just got fired

from every place. How old was he? 41, 41, 41. But I think what works with both of you, especially for you, is you guys went through that TV route and if you said the same stuff, because I was sure you guys show, and same with Brian and I, and Brian might get fired. But if some of the stuff that we say is so outlandish, if you put that on MTV Showtime

or a network, they're like, dude, we can't have it. Oh yeah. It's cost us a lot of money. But then again, we don't need it. We don't need it. No, you don't need it. And it's good because we have this other thing and thank God because then you're allowed to say it.

But like, yeah man. I mean, we've had things that cost us, you know, I mean Nicki Minaj cost me $100,000. How so? Because I said that she had kind of a cunty vibe. Oh, I remember this. What's wrong with that? I remember this. You were the guy who said it.

And they were like, he's legit, he knows rap, but then he's like like he's a white dude. I don't know rap. We openly say it like I'm like I'm not an authority on this Remember this hundred grand. How did this hold out? I just said I said the reason why people like already platform It's brilliant it's like the reason why people are into cardi B and not Nicki Minaj is because Cardi is giving us an authentic version of herself. She's really does characters Yeah, and the characters work when there wasn't, like anytime you put a real Jordan next to a fake one, how fake does the fake Jordan look?

Or like even on stage, like when someone's giving you the real and then like a young guy gets up and he's trying to do a version of himself, it just feels like you just know it. My mother always said, my mother always said we were communicating with each other long before we developed language. Yes.

So human beings can tell when you're lying. Yep. You know right away and especially when you perform, especially when you're trying to be, when you're trying to pull one over on an audience. There's another saying that Robert McKee in his book, Screenplay said audiences IQs jump 20% when they are watching a movie. Why? 20% when they are watching a movie why we've been watching movies since we were little kids Mm-hmm, so you cannot fool anybody with with tricks and hooks good Yeah It's a very very fucking true if you don't respect your audience and if you don't actually and I've always said this if you don't

Believe that your audience is as smart as you are then you're in big fucking trouble. Yeah, it comes out of respect Yeah, absolutely that so I just said that Said she and as I guess she's got kind of a cunty vibe right and I do she has a line her opening lines One of her song is I'm a bitch. I'm a cunt, but this is no it's like we agree I think that's known throughout the industry that she's like super difficult to work everyone and she's getting everything Deserved right now cuz it's falling apart. Yeah, so it's hot mess She had to cancel her tour because the ticket But that's on you

It's like what you put out in the ecosystem is what comes back and I know that sounds like some like foo foo bullshit No, but on some real it's like if you put good vibes out like Brandon put so many good vibes out to me this week So I want to give vibes to you like it's just a natural organic thing. You even look at like Rogan. Rogan seemingly put good vibes out in the world. So these things that are coming back to him are deserved. Good people rise to the top, man. It's just, and that's what I was saying

about the leadership thing. It's like the people who are built to lead don't want. They're in a position where they're filled emotionally so they're ready to give. No, they're not selfish. A lot of us have been in a position where they're filled emotionally, so they're ready to give. A lot of us have been in that position where we're not filled emotionally, so we can't even compliment our friend who we think is funny.

It's hard for us to go, hey, Brian, that set was so fucking funny, it made me feel insecure watching you. It's hard for us. It makes you vulnerable. It makes you vulnerable, because deep down you're like, is he funnier than me?

What does that mean? But right after you kill, and we're feeling full, how much you want to just feel compliment your boys and show gratitude to the homies like anyway So it was just one of those things where um Dell pulled out there Like we want to apologize for what you said or we're gonna pull out this advertising and I was like fuck you Oh, you can't you can't cuz it would ruin what you stand for exactly So you can't appa first of all, you never apologize publicly because all that does is confirm what people think you said.

Like there's a lot of women right now that think Louis like held down women, jerked off on their face. They truly believe that. Yeah. Right? And he didn't. But since he apologized, he confirmed the worst.

Their belief. The worst. Right? You never apologize. If there's one thing you learn from Trump Do not apologize public keep going keep it moving Grilling him right now, and he's in Vietnam like oh, this is food is Doing karaoke Kim Jong-un having drinks and trying to take

with the ultimate dictator. Son, it's crazy, right? But that's what you learn is like, fuck that apology shit, keep going. Everybody's going to be offended by something. Yeah. Like if offended is the line we can't go by. I love that saying. I think Sam Harris said, being offended is not a position nor is it an argument. Of course not.

It's like you're offended and what? Jesus is the Lord and Savior. The hardest thing. A lot of people are offended by that. Yeah, the hardest thing, all I see is, you know, we're right now in a time where people blow their horn for their side and they criticize the other side. Awesome.

What are you fucking doing to change the world? Are you actually persuading anybody on the other side? And so it doesn't matter. And like you said, I mean, I think your audience is your audience and they're going to, and now they, now, like you always say, it's like when, when you've got your ecosystem on the web, that's actually all that matters. You are the network. And you have to be authentic to them too.

But Steve Simone said this Steve Simone, right? At the comedy store. He's been there forever. He's the one of the best guys. I remember a lot, like probably two years ago, maybe three years ago, he came up through it and went, Hey man, a lot of people are going to hate on you cause cause you have a built in audience. They hate on you. Cause you play to your crowd. He goes, you look around everyone here wants their crowd.

Yes. That's what they're doing this for. Yes. Do not change, man. Yeah. Do not change. Yes. It's like commies is weird.

You should do, um, you should like take your shirt off and do UFC shit too up there. That would kill. do like fighting stuff Give you went out in just UFC shorts, you know, you have seen I did like just wear one glove and you just Big Jay Olkerson, but with you know, that would be yeah, and if you open up with my business I'm miss this shit. It's just a depressing UFC Ready stop you see guys don't even laugh just Tap out

Tell me when you guys tap when I'm too fine Just tap out. Tap out guys. Tell me when you, guys tap when I'm too funny. What a nightmare. What a, this is my nightmare. Guys ready to submit to my comedy? Woo yeah Brendan! Fucking Brendan!

This comedy's a knockout. That's the advertisement on Showtime. Hey guys I'm a real knockout artist. That should be your promo. God. No. That should be your promo. You should cut a promo sarcastically

addressing all that it's a knockout away from it it's a knockout no no it's it's satire you're saying over the top you're over the top this guy's gonna knock you out with his car yeah it's just like a laugh I'm choking the last. Yeah. And you have me like this. Ah, ah, ah. But so knowingly, so knowingly bullshit that you're calling out what every, so bad everybody could say. Yeah. It's like, that's actually really good. Then then the eight mile approach. It's literally a mile, right?

It's like, I'm going to say all the things that you would say about me. And now it's Trump. What are you going to say about it? I thought I was a great fighter. Well, wait, wait till I knock you out with my comedy. And then quaking. You know, that's Trump. What are you gonna say? I thought I was a great fighter. Well, wait, wait till I knock you out with my comedy Queen you know That's it real talk. You got you got to get a Joseph Gordon Green and Danny McBride Right to like to put it together. That's hilarious, dude

It would be so good and then you call out what everybody that wants to hate before they do it Yeah, cuz that's all we do now right right? Is we don't like information without confirmation. This is how I feel, tell me why. I was doing a show the other day, they won't figure this out. I was doing this show and I was in the green room with another comic and the producers going through what we're supposed to do.

And he goes, he goes, oh, what do you want me to push? And the guy goes, oh, I just got my special, man. He goes, oh, dope, man, congrats. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, 25 fucking years, man. Took me 25 fucking years. And the guy's never been nice to me. So aggressive. Yeah, he's never been nice to me.

The vibe was cool in there, too. And he's never been friendly to me. And then the producer goes, oh, Brendan. I knew that guy was listening. He's never been a fan of mine. He goes, Brendan, don't you have a special coming out here? Yeah, Showtime, man. He goes, damn, how long you been doing something?

Three weeks. Three weeks, bro. That's fucking nuts, right? Good answer. Good answer. I'm a reason in this shit, but that's why you can't be upset. You can't be offended by it.

You can't like. That jealousy thing's never made sense to me. It doesn't make sense, because I have a special you think it takes away from you or you. That's nothing to do. They just don't understand business. But like it's famine thinking. It's weird shit.

It's it's it's like it's a smart decision to invest in your product. It's like why does Amanda Seals have a special on HBO? Well what is she also on HBO? Insecure correct. Yeah. So brilliant. It's like I would if I'm a business I'm going to invest in the talent. But it's also like this like like I always say about Brendan,

like, you know, we were talking privately about this and I was like, I think you had told me that story and I was like, oh, okay, I know, I know. And because it was so easy to get here and get your audience, it was so easy, dude. All you have to do is this, ready? I'm going to do 10,000 hours of podcast. No, it's not just the podcast.

What you do is, what you want to do is just get in the UFC and fight heavyweight, fight monsters, fight monsters in your underwear. But you know, and, but go through the training and throw up when you have concussions, when your sparring partner is Shane Carwin. But that doesn't, that doesn't help the... All I'm saying is that, all I'm saying is that... That should have been in groundlings.

But no, of course. What I'm saying though is that you built an audience that was your first audience. He was a social media beast when he was doing that. And then you fucking decided, I guess I'll do a podcast. You do that for a long time. You build an audience with that. Now you're combining the audience and then you go, I think I'm going to do standup. And I was like, what? Yeah. Everybody was like, these people have an antiquated view of like the entertainment business that we're in right now. it's just like but it took

They have a couple of acts there. Of course not. Everybody's gonna have their their person right like You could say like let's say for example Charlemagne is my guy Just as many people who are like yo the only reason you've got this cuz you're in the UFC Just many people say yo the only reason you got this because you're Charlemagne. Everybody's gonna have that. What do you do with it? What are you doing with your yeah exactly? because everybody Everybody is gonna have someone if you're decent if you're not if you're not even decent you're not gonna get that and that's why You suck but if if you just everybody's gonna have an opener. I mean shit delia was opening for coy

Yeah, right like everybody's gonna have Helen Helen right like just be just be undeniable There's tons of people. Just keep creating. Listen, a lot of guys, I'm sure, are open for Rogan that aren't doing stuff. A lot of guys open for the big guys that aren't doing stuff. It's like, you're going to get that opportunity, and it's not necessarily a network. We're networks now. We have eyeballs. What are you going to do with that?

Are you going to come in with ideas? Do I have to do it for you, or are you you gonna come up to me with ideas every single week? What can we do? I wanna put my shit on fucking YouTube. Femme. I'm pieces. Instagram, Twitter, it's not even a question. Oh, you know what you should keep doing?

Keep shooting our material and then no one sees it. Put your fucking hand down. Where was your last one? See-so? Hey! They're not even in business anymore. Other places. That's where my, the dramedy I did was for See-so

and then it folded so it was on Hulu. CISO like grabbed a bunch of content for a hot second and then just was like, you know what? It's a horrible idea. The good news is that they're all done. I can get those other two hours and put them on YouTube. That's what I'm going to do. Put them on YouTube, you put them on Instagram, it's just, you just put them out. I mean, the thing is that the business is crumbling.

Like everything's falling apart. Everything. Literally the whole structure of Hollywood is falling apart. Netflix is done. No, people don't even realize Netflix is done It's it's like I heard that they the guy said I'm from the other network effects He was like well if you believe that those 700 shows are doing well like all of them I I you can believe in these let me ask you a question

Yeah If you had a show on your network that you own that was doing well Would you pay a hundred million dollars for a year of friends? The only shows people watch on Netflix, it's nostalgia viewing. It's friends in the office. Women watch friends, dudes watch the office. That's all people watch. They make a movie.

Here's the thing with Netflix, right? They're not even trying to make money now. Netflix is trying to be bought out. They're 10 billion in debt, they're not even trying. This is the thing about Netflix, right? And this is why you guys are already on it. You guys are already on top of it. You may not even realize it, but you're on top of it.

It's like, YouTube is waiting. They're just waiting for Netflix to be like, you know that scene in the movie where the water is coming up and you just have your lips right up here? Yeah, they're just gonna pour one little drop of water And drown them. This is what YouTube is doing. They're just waiting with their thumbs and they don't even have a full glass of water They have literally it's a what is you up gonna do then they don't have to do anything, right? So this is how it works. You see Charlie Wilson's war. Yes. Okay So remember what we did in Afghanistan where it was like we arm the Afghans who are fighting the Russians. We give them $5,000 rocket launchers and they shoot down $5 million helicopters.

Right. Netflix pays Aaron Sorkin a hundred million dollars to make a TV show that distracts you for two hours. YouTube pays Brendan and Brian zero million dollars to make a podcast that distracts you for two hours. You're dead. You can't win. You cannot win. It is impossible for you to win. You have one chance at winning, Netflix,

and that's if you get the rights to all sports. If you don't get the rights to all sports, and they're not coming, because you can't afford it, you lose. And they will lose, so what they'll do is they'll get bought out by Apple or Amazon. Because there's a, my friend is a mathematician said that Netflix makes money on subscription. You run out of people. The problem is that you run out of subscription models.

No more people. They up the price already, right? They keep on upping the price and we don't mind, it's not even about the price. If they don't have that nostalgia viewing, if they don't have the thing that we can go watch and just keep on watching the same thing, they don't have one of these shows yet. If they don't have it, we're not going to watch it. It also doesn't matter who's watching what though, because they make their money on that subscription so you want people to keep renewing their subscription.

So the reason I go to Netflix is I can watch Planet Earth or I can watch those things, but I do have to say, as I scroll through, there were so many things on Netflix. You can watch Planet Earth or I can watch those things but I do have to say as I scroll through there were so many things on that But you can watch Planet Earth on YouTube. Yeah, somebody has ripped off. Dude, YouTube is the sleeping giant And I'm telling you when it wakes up it's gonna be a fucking problem But then what happens, that means everything is free or how does that work? Everything's free. Everything's free. Everything's falling apart like everybody. So then then what happens to content? So who's gonna finance Planet Earth? You ready? No, no, no, this then what happens to content? So who's going to finance planet earth? You ready? No, no, no, no, this is what happens with content, right? Yeah.

It's a creator's market because the three of us can sit here and we can make two hours worth of engaging content for a hundred bucks. Yeah. Okay. I can engage you. I can have ideas for days. I can meet you and be with you for 10 minutes and I can find five different programs that you should do. I just didn't have the bandwidth yet. Then I got the bandwidth and I was like, okay, let me just start creating all my own shit. I buy the cameras. Cameras used to be the barrier of entry. Camera used to be $100,000. What do we record on this? That's $500. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's like these, a hundred bucks. Mike's a few hundred bucks. It's nothing.

The barrier to entry isn't there. And I can upload it at a place which has the most eyeballs in the world. Mike's a few hundred bucks. It's nothing. The buried entry isn't there. Yeah. And I can upload it at a place which has the most eyeballs in the world. It's over for you. Available to everybody. Available. I mean, the only, like, this is how, the networks are so fucking stupid.

Like, if I was them, what I would do is everything would be nostalgia programming from now on. Like, remember when the OJ thing came on? Yeah. The OJ trial on FX? Hell yeah. It's like, or like the Bobby Brown story. You just got to tap into shit from our childhood. Those are the things that make

markets. Exactly. Cause that's the only reason we watch. We're not watching your stupid show. Like God friended me. Yeah. Like what about like, what about like does zone and those, these new apps? It's interesting to zone. Yeah. What do you think about that? Does, does zones different because does zone has the Asia market. So in Asia, they're huge. So I just had all those guys on my show yesterday, the one championship guys. And I went, why, you know, why would you sign? And this is just me, but I just didn't do my research well enough when I looked into it. But does zone in Asia, if they put on a card, one championship does, they get more eyeballs, way more on that one card than

UFC does. Not even close. They'll get 20 million views on that one. They love fighting over there. So does own makes their money off that They're huge in china, Tokyo. These guys are making money. Excuse me. I love it How do you think they paid fucking canel 365 million dollars? Yeah, they have so much money So they went all right. We've conquered japan in asia. We got all that. Let's head over this way. Let's head over west. Okay. I know they're over here. They sign Anthony Joshua. They got Canelo.

This is an app too, you know? I mean, they got it and they have things that- But sports, to your point with Netflix to save their ass, they would have to get in the NBA, NFL, MLB. That's not happening. Guess who has sports? AESPN or? YouTube.

I can get YouTube TV for 40 bucks and I can get all my sports. You can get YouTube TV? YouTube TV is just cable on your YouTube. And they run the ads during the ABC or Fox promotion. You'll see a YouTube, like watch YouTube TV. Like it's this huge ad. It's over for everyone. I got to get YouTube TV.

Yeah, it's the greatest thing because you have it on your phone and it's accessible. I just want to be in everybody's shit. This is the first. I'm hearing about you. I'm fucking old check it check it YouTube used to have like a premium function YouTube red and then it was YouTube for yeah, they're paid They're like paywall because they were dabbling. It's like should we do paywall should we not they just took that away? Cuz I'm ready to do red. Yeah now They're just gonna be buying content all they have to do is call Aaron Sorkin and be like hey What is Netflix giving you are they giving you a hundred? All right, we'll give you 110. Yeah, now they're just gonna be buying content. All they have to do is call Aaron Sorkin and be like, hey, what is Netflix giving you? Are they giving you 100?

All right, we'll give you 110. Yeah, come over here. It's that easy. Dude, like, people don't even realize, India just got phones. Yeah, man. They don't have cameras. Correct.

Like, there's so few Indians walking around with a fucking red cam or like a DSLR, but they all got phones you could watch shit. Over a billion million people you got 1.2 billion people that need to watch it I was like, why are my clips going viral in India? Like I was trying to put together dots My boy goes. Oh, yeah, they just got like, you know internet out there like huge Indians English speaking popular They all speak English. I'll speak English. They just got they educated. They love stand-up stand-ups exploding Wow, stand-ups every would like with you know, we're the new hip-hop Yeah, we're the new hip-hop 100% like the world and this is these fucking idiots don't realize they're like

Oh, comedy doesn't travel go around the world ask people how they learned English family guy Simpsons, correct? Yeah, that's how they learned it That's fucking that's where there is This is the new hip-hop and this is why it is because it's the only place you could talk shit like in their countries You can't go on TV and talk shit. I was in Malaysia. You couldn't talk about the dictator No, there's one place when we were doing stand-up on stage. Yeah, and I'm watching chicks and hijabs Dying laughing no dying laughing about jokes shit about them about the dictator whatever. It's like whoa comedy is important. Where were you? Kuala Lumpur Malaysia yeah yeah and all I'm saying is I'll speak English enough enough it's getting there it's getting there enough but like dude I'm telling you

this is a global thing Facebook is getting into it too though they're looking for original content they might they might buy they might buy Netflix that might be smart but Facebook is doing it It's just like the YouTube's the end-all be-all guys We're in the this is the best time to create if we create if you're a comic that's been doing the same act for 20 Years you're gonna die. This is bad. You're done. Yeah, you're done We gotta keep like this shit if you like writing and you like this world and you like talking and creating It's ours Like I don't make anything for a network anymore.

Everything I do is for my channel. And I'm sure you have offers. Sometimes, yeah. I got offers for like, I get offers for different things. It doesn't matter. I'll help people. Like if my boy has a special coming out, I'll be like, I'll help you curate an idea for the special that will make that hit.

Like even like for you, like I'm already thinking, and I don't want any money from this. I just want your thing to succeed I'll just be like let's think of an idea where we can promote this in a really fun like even that promo the is so goofy but it addresses everything and it's endearing to you yeah right it's like it shows you're aware yep and now that person was gonna hate immediately like all, that motherfucker said everything I was gonna say, I might as well watch it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, man. Fucking amazing. Good shit happening, guys. I'm telling you, we're in a good place. YouTube TV, let's go. How glad are you I brought him here? He made this so bad, he won't listen to me. I'm pissed off that it didn't happen

six months ago. Dude, you're good, like, let's talk, when yours comes out, let's talk, man. I bet we can get 15 minutes of it to give away. Good. We can, we can. And I, and I'm just, just sell it to see. So, hey you Um, do you want to do it? So to see. So he said Let's take a little break from doing the old throwback two of my faves andrew schultz and Andrew santino those boys who would have thought boys are

crushing it proud of them this episode of the throwback of both Andrews is brought to you by away luggage your boy travels a lot he's travel a lot more but I'm still traveling around I gotta go to Texas this week last weekend I was in Santa Barbara for the kids travel ball tournament. I'm all over man. Boy is still on the road sometimes. And I hate checking bags in. It's so amateur. It's not what I do. There's nothing worse when you land.

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That's awaytravel.com slash fighter to see the new soft side luggage from Away. Awaytravel.com slash fighter. Before we get back to the Andrew Squared, this episode of Throwback Fire and the Kids is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Whether you love true crime or comedy, celebrity interviews, news, or even motivational speakers,

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It was an amazing episode. It was incredible. And all these people are Theo Vonan and Chris DeLeon, but those guys suck ass. I'm here to fight. I'm here to fist fight and I'm ready to win. I just want to do a podcast. I'm here to fight. I'm here to fist fight. And I'm ready to win. I just want to do a podcast. I won't fight anybody.

And I'm going to go sit and wait for shop. I guess Callan fucked up, huh? He's not here. I have another thing to tell you. What's up, brother? What's up? You know, Callan, suppose he's on set. He's going to be a little late today.

Can I interrupt you for a second? Please do, bro. Brian is such a piece of shit. What a piece of shit. Dude, we texted him and I five or six times to make sure that this is confirmed. And I said, I'm so happy to be back with you guys. Sure enough, he's not here. He text Delia and I this...

No, you text Delia and I this morning. We're still on. Supposed to be me, you, Delia and Callan. I was checked with the guest in the morning. It's called being professional. You're a pro I'm pro and what I was dude Santino Deleon tomorrow yep I'm like all right where you man I've heard anything about I talked Chris every day Chris hasn't mentioned it so I'm like I'm Brian got this nope I text you guys nothing nothing I texted you

back you did and Chris goes what today today today is the day you gotta keep me a little bit more abreast. So when Kalin does come in, if he does come by... We're gonna sock him right in the dick. We're gonna knock him the fuck out. He's a stupid old dick. I'm gonna knock him out. Do you imagine Brian can fight? Can Brian fight? He can. He's still agile. Well, he can, especially for his age. Who would you pit him against? Well, what other 67-year-old would you pit him against? I mean, Rogan's only 50, but Rogan would roll into a destroy him Who's somebody that he'd have a good competition fighting like a legit fight? Yeah, like

Who would be a good fight cuz you know, Delia Delia, I think would murder him. He would fuck him murder younger He's got a long reach. He's big. You gotta go like you and Cal would fuck. We'd be a good fight We'd be a good fight. He's he's older than me by a lot But we would be a good fight stick it to my a good fight. He's older than me by a lot, but it would be a good fight. You'd stick it to him, I feel like. But I think Brian and I have the same kind of, like, we have the same kind of anger. Like, we have the same kind of like, you know, Brian's really nice and sweet, but inside, deep down, dark, dark, dark.

Some would say the darkest. The darkest. You're not, I don't get a dark vibe from you. I got it in there, dude. I got it real deep down there. That's why your comic days say. I got it real there, dude Do you that's why your comic? I got a real deep It's just like old shit boy that boils up because you were picked last all the time as a kid growing up. No, no I'm no, I'm just great. Yeah, dude. I'm brainstorming. No, I'll tell you what it was. Oh, I actually know exactly

What it was when I was a kid having red hair used to be so annoying because people would talk shit, but I used to be so annoying because people would talk shit, but I would only use my hands and not my words. I learned to use my words and be funny. I fought everyone that came in my way. I punched everything, I fought everybody. So then I kind of got the cart of a bully, but all I was doing was defending myself. But I would punch everybody.

So you, you know what? Do you have a little bit of anger issue? Lot of it. I had to go to fucking anger management. I have a lot of anger. They kicked me out of my elementary school or whatever. Slugger Santino, that's what one of the teachers said. Slugger Santino?

That's what the nun said. I was in a Catholic school. They kicked me out. You didn't name your next special Slugger Santino. Yeah, because I fought too many kids. Wow, but it was validated because they were roasting you on your red hair. Yeah, so they would say, you know, fire crotch or... Standard.

What was the other one that was really good? Tomato Face. Tomato Face, yeah. Pizza Boy. Oh my God. Yeah, it was just like whatever, whatever shit they could come up with. So when you're that young, most people don't think that you're going to punch them. They think you'll push them or you'll yell at them or whatever. I would

just punch people as hard as I could. Well, I feel like most kids, especially when they're getting roasted, are gonna punch as hard as they could. Because you're not gonna dissect someone with your words at seven. Yeah, but you know most people don't want to fight. That's something you know. Don't you know that? Most people in this world try to avoid fighting. Now especially. How old are you? 35.

Yeah, we're the exact same age. But back when I was a kid, they're like, most problems were solved with your fist. With fight, yes. But it wasn't a big deal. No, you just got over it. I didn't get suspended for weeks or nothing like that. The teacher was like, what happened? I'm like, he was making fun of my mom.

Talking shit. So me and him started wrestling and I punched him in the face. You're in detention, you're here. The good days. It was a good old days. Yeah, when you didn't have to worry about getting... Think about being a redhead these days? Please, well, knives, guns.

It's gonna be a beast. Knives, guns. See, I think people use real shit now. People are gonna use real weapons now when they fight. But imagine being redhead, right? But at least you're a good looking dude. Imagine- Thank you, dude, because most of them are fucking repulsive.

Hideous, hideous. They're so ugly. When I see redheaded people, I know. And they look at me as if to say like, hey, I'm also a redhead, I look away. I go, no, no, no, no, no. I know. You're not. You're if to say like, hey, I'm also a redhead. I look away. I go, no, no, no, no, no.

I know. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not.

You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not.

You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're But his skin is, looks like a vampire. It does. But he's still, because of the Mexican, it still helps him out. True, and he shredded. But what I'm saying is, imagine being a redhead kid who doesn't look like the slugger Santino or Canelo. And gets picked on, and can't defend himself. And then goes home and you get bullied online. Oh boy.

And there's meme, redhead memes, flying tomato, fucking freckle face. Can you believe, can you believe that there's a Kick of Ginger Day that still exists? I think the government sanctioned it. Wow. I don't even know what the day is. Kick of Ginger. Do you know what the Kick of Ginger Day is?

I don't, but I'll check it out. It's an official day that people, publicly online, nobody gives us credit for being a minority that gets picked up. Who's the most famous? Ginger. Flying tomato? I mean, I would say,

there's so many different levels of it. I would say like, the most famous comedians of all time that are famous are Burr and Louis. They're both redheads. Both redheads. What anger in their heads. Or Carrot Top's ass, who oddly enough is extremely famous. People can say what they want.

But he's killing it. Yeah, he kills it in fame. Someone went to a show, told me it was actually good. He kills it. He's doing something right. Yeah, but what he's doing is he's found a market that he's stuck with. No one else stuck with that.

He's found a niche that works for him. Yeah, it's great. And then who else is the most famous redheads? I'm trying to think of like- Football players? Well, there's a bunch of them, dude. Dalton. Carson Wentz.

I mean- Are you trying to claim Carson Wentz? Isn't he kind of? He's like an Auburn, right? We have Carson Wentz. So it's starting to go back for the Philadelphia. Andy Dalton is- November 20th.

Huh? November 20th is Kick a Ginger Day. So it's coming up No, no, we passed it. I miss it. I don't even know what fucking next year brother. I'll kick you next year You kick me, please Carson Wentz no Carson Palmer Oh Carson Palmer's he's a redhead is not don't try and claim when no I won't look at Carson Palmer He's a redhead right? Auburn ish Yeah, not really Andy Dalton is a redhead. See

that? Yeah, see right there. See it kind of looks... He's a redhead. Look at his facial hair. He's got the red beard. Andy Dalton is a redhead. Andy Dalton, anyone really good though? Oh come on. No, not really. There's no there's no really good redhead. I can't think of anyone. There's never been a pro redheaded basketball player I don't think. Not that I can think of. There's like the tall seven footers, but they're never very good. No, no, no, no. There's a couple of redheads in the NBA.

Type in redheads NBA, Firmichand. I guess we could... But yeah, comedy got... You piece of shit! You... Oh my God! Look what he's wearing. By the way, I took over your chair.

Yeah, you did. Yeah, I did. Yeah, dude, and that's not appropriate. Yes, it is, Bri. No, it's not, Andrew. What time are we supposed to start this whole thing? You know what, dude? I'm shooting my TV show, which is why I'm wearing my awesome outfit.

You wanted to wear that. Yeah, you did. Your call is until 5 p.m. today. That's not true, dude. Yes, it is, dude. No, it's not. You just like wearing that around town because you want people to ask you. Correct.

Hey, were you the guys from the trailer? I saw you on the trailer on ABC. Correct. He still rocks a mad TV shirt. Yeah from fresh from the set really Is that a hangover jacket? Are you just rocking all your shit? You don't have to wear this because I it's very cold and it's you know, it's the middle of December practically So I you guys are outside. It's the beginning of December stage is very cold They keep it very cold these are TV things that you guys don't know a lot about because I do it I don't do cable to do network TV so is that are you taking a shot excuse me

well you know what let's say let me take a shot I saw hey I saw your I know you are I saw your trailer for this on ABC last night and I was gonna congratulate you but you were in it you were barely in it so it said school I know you know what it said school showed a chance yeah the chick and Tim. So it's at school. I know you know what it said school and showed her Chicks, yeah chicken Tim Meadows. It's the chick show bro. That's the main trailer. That's one don't ever main trailer Main trailer don't say the main trailer. You're the third lead trailer. You're the third lead No, I'm not your third straight number two on the caution number three hot girl Tim Meadows Briacalloc take your 195 pound red. Hot Girl.

197 and a half. Real quick. I've been hit. Hot Girl, we all know. Hot Girl, check. Check. Tim Meadows, definitely no checks on that live. Ladies man.

Uh uh. Brian Callan. Brian Callan. Third. Hey, when you go do pictures for that when you go do pictures for for press You know when they're on the when you're on the step and repeat they go tomatoes tomatoes And a girl they go whatever her name is that AJ AJ AJ and they go This way this way right this way right this way get out of the shot get out of shot. Let's go

Hey, Tim.adows, come back! Tim Meadows, come back! Did they let background do these? Did they let background do these? True story, I... Wow, all the extras on them? You can sit there now, because you're late. I can't sit there.

I simply can't. I'm gonna have to ask you. You're a big kid, man. I see you're posturing. You're posturing, but you're bringing me here. Right, sit down. You look good. You look real good.

Didn't I say Santino's a big kid? Look at his cockatiel in those things. Get over here! I don't know. Shake my hand! I don't know if Iatiel in those things. I don't know. Get over here. Shake my hand. With a dick.

God damn it. Sit down. Take your fucking iPhone X. This is the X. They gave it to me. They gave it to me. I got friends in high places. Oh my god, this outfit is so nice. Stay standing up real quick. Yeah, hold

on. Hold on. I wear this outfit every single day. Look who showed up. Look at the rump rump on this man. Wow. Thanks for coming, Brian. Thanks for having me. No, this is my podcast. No, it's my podcast. No. And don't, and by the way, I want to say this about Santino. It's the fighter and the slugger. He just invited himself on. I get a text that goes, Hey dude, I'll see you December 5th. Yep. I love it. Because we were on here, I was talking about how funny you are and how you launched a new podcast. It's talking about your logo on here. Yes, we talked about it. I said, we got to get you on. Thank you. Well, you're welcome. Here's why probably boosting your numbers and thank you so much for coming letting me come Shob and thank you so much for coming to my podcast with shop. No, you're late. It's new podcast, bro

Let's let's talk about this. So yeah. Yeah, I asked you to come back I said I'm gonna come back on you know why yeah, because all of the fans and your you guys's fans are the shit Yeah, I love all your fans, and they say, oh, you know, Julia, guest of the year, Theo, guest of the year, that whole thing. I've only done this one time, and my one time was better than all of the times those guys have done. They did love you.

That's a fact. And I'm gonna say this. Let me say something, I've heard Theo, hey man, fuck it, dah, dah, dah. I've heard him, I've heard him a lot, done, done. Now hold on. Done. Hold on, bro. Oh man, my dad lives. I've heard him. I've heard him a lot. Yeah done. Okay. Now hold on done Hold on, bro. This man my dad lives in a sewer done. No, that's not yeah, man He used to eat rat tails done. Okay, don't done. That's done man. You're so done You know why why because my name wasn't in the conversation at all and then someone put something online that said what about Santino?

Yes, the air came after me he did yeah he's very protective of this he's very I never said I wanted the belt I'll say this right now now that he's running out I've created this come on let's go shit's Brendan can attest to this our fans are unforgiving and have they basically like very I told Brian I told Brian now listen we got different now listen we've been doing podcast for this prior 800 episode, even though it only says whatever for, we've probably been podcasting for a long ass time, right?

We've had our ups and downs. The last few weeks, we've had some tough guests, and here's what I tell Brian. But we like our guests, it's just that the fans have a specificity. But the thing is, you like them. Who are the guests that the fans shit on? No, they didn't shit on anybody.

The point is that our fans are very particular about who they really like. Here's what I say. Who do they really not like? Here's what I say. If you're not good on this show, same as if you go on a lot of other shows, but for a reason we have this loyal fan base.

If you're bad on here, it's gonna hurt you more than it's gonna help you. Definitely. No one's buying tickets to your show, no one's following your podcast. So how have you stuck around this show for so long? No, that's... No, no, no, it's not. It's not. It's not. Don't do that. We're roasting up in here. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Oh, it was a big burn. It was a big burn. I thought Roasty. It's Roasty in here.

That's so epic. And by the way, I get so many messages from your fans that go, dude, you and Shob together, what a killer combination. No, that's not true. I see it nonstop. They go, dude, you guys are so good. And they go, Shob is fucking, he's like so personable and lovable and cool and good looking. And you're so funny and sweet and awesome and smart.

And then Brian also is Sometimes around and then it's part of the show and what a cool trio One guy just sent me a meme of this plane going this is Brian every podcast And don't shoot the sky with fake guns it really makes me Does that make you mad? Yes, man. You look really good. Thank you, buddy. Hey, man, all that money and they still gave you Reeboks?

By the way, my psoriasis gone. Look at that shit. Is it gone? Thank you, Dan Garner, 88 at Gmail. You had psoriasis? Dude, I work with this guy Dan Garner. Help me with that. You had to bring it up.

Sorry. But he brought it up. But he changed my life. I have psoriasis. Tell what you did. Of the liver. No, he helped me out. Changed my gut biome. How did you get cirrhosis?

It's stress, but also there's an imbalance in your gut. What they're finding is a lot of autoimmune diseases, lupus, all kinds of stuff, might be, rheumatoid arthritis, might be an imbalance in your gut. And here's the other thing, he's old. Yeah. Andrew. When you get older, how many medications are you on? I mean, it's just one of any. So every day you take what, seven or eight pills?

No. How many pills do you think you take a day? Just! So every day you take what, seven or eight pills? Just to get rolling in the bowl. Tell me about the stupid stretches you do before you get on. I take, I do my yoga, I do my yoga. What position is your favorite? Which is why my energy on the 4th of March, you both are struggling. You know that. On what?

Hold on, hold on. Let's be honest. I run six to seven miles every single day. I know, bro. Let's get out there. Bro, listen, listen, listen, see him on the streets, bro This is stupid new balance about the only thing about me to know and I and I get it and I give you both Oh great. No, no, you're talking to him. Don't this energy's this way. I'm giving it to you too Cuz I'm gonna tell you why you're doing this. The only reason why be careful I'm gonna fuck up your crooked teeth. Listen, you guys are big and strong and God bless your sports and all that stuff

Yeah, now listen cool. Good guys. No, listen, you guys are big and strong and God bless your sports and all that stuff. Yeah. Now listen. Cool, good guys. Now listen, hold on. I got two things going on and it's not a big deal. What is it? Not your hairline. Hold on.

Got cold in here. My mind, I can shut my mind off and I know what to think about, what not to think about. I can compartmentalize like nobody's business. That's okay. That's okay. You guys are young. Now hold on. And here's the other thing. Strong mind you're saying? Here's what? You have a strong mind? Well, I mean, if I got to shut it off and then turn another part of my brain on, then

that's what happens. Oh, okay. Yeah, because why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Well well been getting ready for that moment my whole life your whole life Okay, now that's okay had more practice been in the ring longer than you guys in life longer ring now I've been in the ring a long long time You've been in the back when it was twine. Yeah, it was just like handmade. Yeah, that's when you've been in that Yeah, yeah When they're fighting basically oven mitts

There wasn't any there wasn't any any camp can there's everyone like the the ring by ring You mean the crowd like it was the Donnybrook there was just a bunch of chickens You're like walking around before plastics came along and refrigeration For refrigeration of plastics now, listen to me the other thing I my body's built for one thing and it's not a big I'll give you the mind control check. It's built my body's built to fuck to bear down and when I got a bear down I'm bearing down I'd be give us an example guys have so much to move around give us an example of good and you're at the front of the pack but when it comes down to actually the long march when the when the fight goes into round 15 and 16 and

that happens in life. It's very old school. It happens in life sometimes. It's been 12 for quite a while dad. When the cartel captures our bus and says you guys are gonna be that we haven't slept we haven't eaten we haven't had any water and now they give us hammers and they go you guys gonna fight it out and the winner joins the cartel. You think you're gonna beat us hammers. And they go, you guys are going to fight it out. And the winner joins the cartel. You think you're going to beat us with hammers? The thing is, you guys. I don't even know what round it is, Dad. It ain't happening.

Call me Dad. Hey. Hey. What the fuck was that? Papa, Papa, Papa, please. Papa. Papa. Papa, please.

Don't call me Papa. Papa, please. Call me Dad. Papa. Papa, don't. Papa, no. I got to take it. Papa, your heart. I got to take it. Papa, your ticker. Papa no. I gotta take you. Papa your heart. I gotta take you.

Papa your ticker, don't do this Papa. You know what happens when your ticker gets all jibbity jumpity? Papa please. Jibbity jumpity. Papa please. No. Papa last time we had to take you to the hospital

and you were there for weeks and weeks because of your ticker. Look at the floor boy, I gotta take you out with this hammer. Look at the floor. Papa. Look at the floor, you gotta sleep now. Let's put it this way. Let's say we all jump into the ocean, B.

Let's say we all jump in that freezing cold ocean. There you go. Seal style. Everything comes out alive. The water breaks me down. There you go. Okay, okay. I knew that was his weakness.

I knew it. The cold breaks me down. I knew it. At the end of the day, I need my sleep and I need my cold. Cold and water? The cold turns me into a coward. So, okay, so you're fucked during any kind of war scenario. Outside. Unless you're in Iraq fighting. I'm not good with my cold. Cold and water? The cold turns me into a coward. So, okay, so you're fucked during any kind of war scenario.

Outside. Unless you're in Iraq fighting. I'm not good with the cold. World War III comes along. Although when I was in the Missouri breaks, I was hunting and my feet went numb and I couldn't walk. I, yeah, no, the cold will break anybody down. No.

You, I feel like, you can kind of conserve heat for a while. You're probably built for the heat. I was born in the cold. Did you hear what he just said? Do you know what that kind of conserve heat for a while. You're you're probably built I was born. Did you hear what he said? Do you know what that just was? That was a shot I'm served heat is like a fat. That's a fat. Oh wow. That's a fat. I'm thick. I'm just saying Your kidneys are always warmer than mine. Oh That's a consumption of fat thing. That's what that is That's a big bro. There's a subcutaneous layer. That's all in the water I'll say this if we all die you'd be the last person we'd layer, that's all. In the water. Well I'll say this, if we all die,

you'd be the last person we'd eat. That's right, you skinny fucking bitch. There's nothing to eat there, dude. Look at how garbage this meat would be. Garbage meat. No, because it's been barren down. You know what, you're those dry rub ribs. That's what your body is.

My body's made for fucking, it's made to get, to crunch down and fucking take the onslaught. You're an outback steakhouse steak. That's what this would be. Real shit meat. Andrew, Andrew, stay down. Andrew, control your breathing. Breathe in me.

Come on, it's okay. We are going to die, but don't worry. Hey, Jim, what's the worst, like, cheapest food at the North Korean barbecue? Just Korean barbecue. What's the cheapest North Korean barbecue they've got? Wow. Wow. I apologize, guys.

Even Jim did a spit take. Yeah, I got nervous about it. I was like, uh oh. Yeah, we'll figure it out. What's the worst, cheapest, shittiest food you need? Well, the cheapest one is called chado, but it's actually delicious. What's it called? Chado. That is you though. You're chado. You aren't delicious, but you are cheap and gross. If we all died, you're chado. No, you gotta spice me up a lot. You're cheap and gross, but you're delicious. You gotta beat my meat against a rock, because it's, you gotta beat it against a rock, because it's just. Can you imagine Brian dies, you've got his arms, I have his legs,

and we're just beating his body against a rock to break down his meat. You know what's weird? Yeah, I can. That would work. I can't imagine. Break down all your little fragile bones, because those are old bones.

Don't say I'm fragile. There's no calcium left. No, there is. No way. I bet you if I kicked your leg right now, I'd break it. No, you'd be. I swear to God I would break it.

No, dude, because I'd check it. No, you wouldn't. No, no, Muay Thai. I'd check it. Even when leg right now I'd break it. No. I swear to God I would break it. Because I'd check it. No. No you wouldn't. Even when you check I'd break on the check. No, no, watch. You'd hear this. I'd do that.

See I think you'd hear this. I think you'd hear this. Nope. I'd go. And you'd go, oh my foot. Top of my foot. Nope. Because those bones against my shin that has no feeling left.

I got no feeling left everywhere. Hey B. I'm dead dude. Guess who started a podcast? Yeah, I know. Guess who, did you, I hate to be shitty here, Andrew. Did you give him the okay to start a podcast? Didn't.

I didn't either. I didn't. It's weird. Yeah, you know what? Because I could have swore we run this town. Yeah. And by town I mean podcast town. And if we want to turn people against your podcast, all I got to do is float a couple

rumors. Here's the button right here. Is that the button? Let me tell you a couple of reasons why you shouldn't push that button. Alright, I'm going to listen. First of all, always been a fan and a friend to you, Shob, you know that. Say no more. Well don't give up that easily. Hey!

No, he's got you. I'm good at negotiating. Second of all, Don't give up that easily. Hey! Hey! I'm good at negotiating. Second of all. You've always been kind to me. You've always been kind. I'll pay the piper. I'll pay the piper. I know you run the block. I'll come give you a little how you do ya. How you do ya. I'll do what I'm supposed to do. And maybe wet our beak a little bit. You want me to be shhhh. You don't need to talk, talk, talk. No, no, I know, I know. Come on, let the wind blow. Hold on, let me, let me. I know whose town this is.

I know who runs the shit, okay? Okay, hold on for a second. I'm not ignorant. I'm arrogant, but I'm not ignorant. No, no. Hey, Chop, take your finger off the button. I just did. Good man.

All right, we're back. It's good to be in business with you, baby. Yeah, we're back, baby. Jesus, that guy can fucking talk you into anything, huh? I know, man, I know. He can talk you into anything. I'm a salesman. Hey, I'll sell you something

What's your least favorite food on earth? I? Mean for me. I can't stand tongue Steve beat tongue beef tongue is disgusting. I hate ourselves. I could never eat olives I'm gonna pitch both of you at the exact same time because I've been selling beef tongue and olives for about 26 years What wow to town selling olives? You're a purveyor of olives and tongue. Well, sometimes I do Stuffed olives with tongue beef tongue. We do stuffed olives with tongue, beef tongue. We do stuffed olives.

There's no way I can eat that dude. That sounds terrible. Let me tell you why. Why is it delicious? We marinate it for four and a half hours in virgin pus juice. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Wow.

Delicious. It's good for your health. It's good for your eyes. Yeah. It regrows your bones and your body. It does? It's incredible. Yeah, we've been testing it for about six or seven months now. Everybody we've tested Is it put muscle on you? Probably not. Absolutely does. You know, Chris D'Alia, you know who that guy is? Sure. A comedian comedian

Short black guy Yeah, but bigger with real muscles like real honest man muscle like hilarious. He never used to look like that Oh, wow. Nope. It's from your beef tongue. Oh, it's from our beef tongue Our beef beef tongue olives double beef tongue olives. Your stuff. Our beef beef tongue olives. Double beef tongue olives. Why are you pushing? Well, it's from female beef, beef juice, beef olive, beef beef, beef tongue, tongue beef, pound beef, olives. Oh, so it's cow cunt. They're called beefy kung kung kung tongue olives. Now is that... We sell them in most Korean markets. I was just going to say, they got very Asian. Olive stuffed with beef cow kung kung. It's olive

stuffed with... Olive stuffed with cowcunt and that would be... Cow-tongue-cunt. Cow-tongue-cunt. In Korean, what do we call it? Cow-cong-tongue. Cow-cong-tongue. There it sounds... I'm kind of in.

Can I tell you a whole jar of this thing? Five bucks. Wow. You got so much money. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Five bucks. So I just think give it a whirl. What do you think?

You want to buy them? How many jars? Two or three? Let me start you with ten and we'll go from there. Alright. Sold. You see what just happened? Did you ever sell anything like that growing that? How many jars? Two or three? Let me start you with 10 and we'll go from there. That's how it sounds. Sold. You see what just happened? Did you ever sell anything like that growing up? Any side gigs?

This is insane. When I was in high school my senior year, I got a job at a telemarketing. Found like an ad in the paper. Come in, 20 bucks an hour when I was in high school. Great money. Right? Great money.

All I had to do was make cold calls and sell window washing power washing air duct cleaning That's a tough gig though. Oh not for old not for old ginger not for all that's why I really game That's liar in the game. Really? I would beat out adults who needed that money to like feed their families I got a bonus every single fucking month when I went away to college Those guys were so mad they gave me a thousand dollars to like be like hey congrats You helped us out so much. Jesus Christ. Damn. Pick up the phone.

Pick up the phone. Ready? Yeah. Hello. Hey, how are you doing Mr. Callen? How are you today? Who is this? Oh, sorry about that.

My name is Andrew. I'm working for this company. We're actually doing your neighbor's house right now. Well, we just need access to his house through your yard. Do you mind? Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor who you know very well. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he spoke very highly of you by the way.

He actually said that new car that you just got is he's a little jealous, that and your wife. But, so we need access to his house through your yard. Yeah, that's absolutely fine. That's fine too, we're doing his air ducts, because good God, you wouldn't believe the amount of dust and pollen that's getting stuck in these air ducts these days. I mean, we're doing his for super cheap

because he's a friend of ours, and we'll be there for about, you know, I don't know, half a day on Tuesday. Should we just bounce over to your house? You know what? Have you had your air ducts cleaned recently or no? I've never had my air ducts. You've never had them cleaned?

Ever in my life. Oh my God, and a good looking guy like you with a beautiful wife like you've got, I mean you guys wanna live for a long time. You wanna be making love for years and years to come because I can tell a young strapping beautiful man like you, we need people like you on this earth to procreate. So let me tell you something.

I'm gonna run over to your house, I'm gonna clean your air ducts at half the cost. Half the cost of what I was gonna charge. Wow. Yeah, only because you know Mr. Johnson and he's just such a good dude and he's said a lot of good things about you. So half the cost, we'll be over at noon on Tuesday.

We'll be done then, does that sound good? Let me write that down. Great, I'm gonna put in the work order right now. Okay, I'm ready. All right, have a good day Mr. Callen, bye bye. Wow, dude, you have a fucking gift. I got clean air ducts, and I'm gonna fuck my wife. You're gonna fuck.

I'm gonna fucking clean air. Let me tell you this, I would do that, I was 17 years old, and I would do that, and I would sell. You're fucking good at it, man. I remember to this day I sold $7,000 worth of air duct cleaning, power washing, and window washing. $7,000 was my best day. That was away with your words, sir.

Holy shit, man. Now I sold supplements door to door like Pursuit of Happiness. Didn't go as well. That's so hard when they see you. Your face is hard. It's easier to sell. And this is back in the day when people had house phones anyway. You can't sucker people on cell phones anymore.

They're trying though. House phones is kind of like, hey, what are you doing? And it's usually a guy on his couch watching TV in Chicago. And he's like, dude, I don't have time for this. And you're like, no, that's fine. I just need access. I need you to say yes to be on your property. Yeah.

What are you doing on my property? No, no, no. I'm on your neighbor's property. I just, if we were accessing the back, we don't want you to be disturbed. We don't want, if you have animals, we just want to make sure that we're not bothering you or your family. Yeah. And they go, what are you doing? What's he want to make sure that we're not bothering you or your family. Yeah. And they go, what are you doing? What's he doing?

Yep. Oh, he's just getting his windows washed. I mean, he hasn't had his, why, why, why? Well actually there can be slight, you know, cracks and chips that come in the winter because of the, you know, different wind chills. So we're going to clean his windows because actually the debris causes more damage to them than you have to get all new windows and that's thousands of dollars. Anyway, I'm going to let you go. That's so good. Dude, you're so good. That's so good. Dude, you're so good.

I sold Time Life books over the phone for a summer. That didn't go as well. No, no, no. Sell me. You get a list of things. Nightmare, nightmare. Sell me a book, Brian. I would basically go, how are you?

Is this Mr. Santino? Yeah, it's me. Mr. Santino, Time Life Books here. What is it, what is it? I don't know if you're interested in cooking, but we have an amazing special on 10 books. I already hung up. Oh my God.

I'm out. I hung up. Try selling supplements. I would drive. Your first pitch was, I don't know if you're interested in cooking. I don't know if you're interested in cooking. Hanging up right then.

Yeah, definitely not. I don't even wait to happen. I got out. Nope. I can't remember. Are you a man with food who likes it? Click. My manager is so good. He'd go like this. He'd go, how are you this evening? Yeah. Can I ask you a question? He'd go, write it up. And he'd already sold. And he was, he hit it. I would

go door to door to gyms, right? And houses. I'd go to, in the gyms, like shitty gyms with like soccer moms. And I'd get with the manager that have like a whole briefcase full of supplements and I'd say see that lady over there one percent one percent better is gonna make her a better boxer one percent you take this she's one percent better and he'd be like there I was I sold nothing you know she's a soccer mom she does not give a fuck about your one percent she needs to learn She does not give a fuck about your 1%. She needs to learn how to fight.

They don't give a fuck. I'd be like, and I'd name off all these fighters or NFL guys who use it. He's like, I don't, dude, these kids are like 13. I'm like, I get that. But if Deon Sanders took this, wouldn't it help this kid? Like, no, get the fuck out of here. There was a guy at Hanson Gracie school back in the day who was selling, was a bodybuilder, but he also would see was selling supplements like minerals and steroids And I remember him going I remember him saying something like you know I'm trying to get Henson to have take some of these

Minerals because these things will make you 40% better now think about how great Henson was can you imagine him 40% better? Now think about how great Henswitz was. Can you imagine him 40% better? I never forgot he said that. That's not possible. I remember looking at him and going, what the fuck is this guy talking about? How can I compete with that? See, I went in as a professional athlete,

former professional athlete, going 1% better. You're not getting any money from anyone. 40%. Yeah, you gotta say 40%. You know, you gotta say 100%. You said, I used to be. You're still a professional athlete. You don't think that?

Oh, you know these statistics. You don't think that it stays with you? You don't think you're always a professional athlete once you were? Yeah. I mean, I'm not competing. I don't think that it stays with you? You don't think you're always a professional athlete once you were? Yeah. I mean, I'm not competing. I'm not in that race anymore. Doesn't matter.

But to get to that pinnacle level, you are forever a professional athlete. I guess. I guess I used some of it into what I do now with comedy and podcasting. No, but you will always be a professional athlete. To get there is impossible. What you did is impossible. Yeah. It's impossible. On paper, it's impossible. Interesting.

Think about that. I think so. Like the extremely minute population of professional fighters, right, compared to the seven and a half billion people, you were one that was known successful, and then when you're done, that doesn't discount what you did. Well, I said this to him the other day.

You're always gonna be a professional athlete. So here's what I said to him the other day. So we were talking about how, you know, sometimes he's been doing standup for not that long. Yeah. And sometimes people go, well, you know, you kind of jumped the line a little bit because you're friends with all these people and stuff.

Oh, you mean life? Yeah. You mean how life works? I said to him, I said, and he goes, I know that. And I said, hold on. I said, well, when you say you jumped the line, because your friends are Rogan and myself and everybody else who've been doing standup

for 15, 20 years, okay. But, and I know your road to get here was really easy because you played football and then you became a professional fighter and went through the ultimate fighter and got punched in the face by monsters and won and lost. That eight years, say what you will, what that eight years was, was not only experience you're drawing from and talking about on stage, but that was a motherfucker. Talk about paying your dues.

Yeah. And what happened was you came in with people like me and Rogan, and we knew who you were, and we loved you, and we loved you for what you were able to do. And oh, by the way, the biggest thing was you were funny. You were making us laugh when you were telling stories. So if anybody wants to take that route, if you call that jumping the line, go ahead. If you want to take the route of becoming a professional fighter, that's the thing that people don't realize.

It's like it is. It's such a motherfucker. Well, the reason Brian brings I appreciate it be the reason I brought it up is because We're as it comes to win a circle and this girl we all know she goes We're talking about something you can say her name No, we were I'm gonna say her name as soon as you're done. Tell us. Okay. Thank you And so we're talking about something though, but we're talking about venues I was talking about one that was terrible and we're talking about about open mics, and I said, I've done a few, but my first open mic

was the live fire in the kid, 1400 people, whatever, and she goes, yeah, but you had a shortcut in comedy, everybody knows that, and I think most people thought I would defend it, but I went, no, you're 100% correct, 100% correct. The reason I sell tickets, because the podcast, the reason I sell tickets, because Rogue and Brian, that's not me.

But that drives me crazy when people say it though. But also when, yeah. It drives me crazy only because the shortcut was us doing Fighter in the Kid and figuring out ways to bring it on the road. Why, because we did 600 episodes? Yeah, that would be a shortcut. But why do people play that game where they go, the only reason that you is because of XYZ.

By the way, as a flawed argument, because I hear that all the time, people use that in every other instance. It's not just this. It's like saying when some bozo goes, well the only reason she's fucking him is because he's rich. It's like, yeah, okay. That's attractive, correct. What was the perfect scenario for you to be happy about

how these people are? Bang the Broke Eye, who you have to go Dutch with, at Denny's. Yeah, can you split this? It's 8.99. I will say that, I will say it, I don't mean this to be happy about all these people. Bang the Broke Eye, who you have to go Dutch with at Denny's. Yeah, can you split this? Yeah. It's $8.99. I will say that, I will say, and I don't mean this to be shitty, I will say that I truly believe that the reason you are working a lot is because you have red hair. I mean, I want to say that.

See, that's... I hate to say it, but let's be honest. That's the only... They got to check boxes. I'm not saying you're say but let's be honest. That's the only they got a checkbox You're not talented. No, they got a checkbox. I don't think you'd be I don't think you'd be working or be I don't think you'd be doing a lot of stand Don't get bad, bro Bad bro, dude, I'm talented. I'm smart. I'm'm hardworking, I'm on every single night of my fucking life.

You think it's the fucking red hair, I'll shave this fucking red hair off and I'll still get more work than you. No, don't shave it off. Brian, don't you even start with me right now, okay? Just because you're on a spin-off of the Goldbergs on school and it's gonna do very well, which I'm proud of you for

and I would never down you for that. Don't take away my ability, my hard work, my ethic. I have nothing in this business. I came here with no money, I have no family, I'm not Jewish, I made it alone. Oh, jeez. I made it alone. I Made it alone. Bri. Okay. I know that don't you dare Know I'm dude you're turning the key on the red Ferrari. You want to fucking rev me out because I will burn out all over this I'm sorry. I misspoke. I misspoke. I fire up bro. No, I didn't fire him up man

You know better because I've earned this. No, I know you've earned it. Did you earn your position in this game? I did with regular hair. Here's the thing. No, no, no, no, take it easy. Oh! No, no, don't get mad. Oh! Andrew, Andrew.

Regular hair. No, I'm just saying. With regular hair. Well, Red, everybody knows that a ginger has, I see you right away. You do pop. Yeah, I pop. Yeah.

And I stand out. And guess what? I have to deliver harder. When they see your normal looking hair ass on stage, they just go, this is just a normal goofy looking fucking white guy. Don't say goofy. Well, you are goofy looking. No.

There's no doubt. Who says goofy? Those years have been bowing out a little bit as we've gotten older. Hey. Like doors, like car doors that are open. There's hair, there's no doubt. Yeah, they've been bowing out a little bit more.

Like DeLorean's. Don't say bowing out. I think you should pin them back. You should tie floss from one side to the other and pull them back at night No, that is a procedure you know yeah, you should you like it Let's say for whatever reason say Finn was born with huge ears. Yes, the Sun never hits his face, okay? Well, I'm glad you can find this way looks like Dumbo. Let's say something I said wait with that co-location

You know you know they can't they snip it and clip it and pull it back really it looks normal well So kids don't get bullied anymore So they see you want to die kids you can die you could die your hair But they see you on stage and they go let's see what this fucking regular Josh mo has to do you come up there with some of your you know jokes whatever I know no There's some of them are good I watched actually a couple nights ago, and I thought wow that's better than I you know used to be okay And you and you sling your jokes, and they go good. Yeah, I'm glad he was good But he's normal I get up there and they go what is this guy?

And then I fucking murder and they go wow yeah wow he overcame something do you have any redhead jokes? Not really no you never bring attention to the fact no you know why burr burr said something to me years and years ago about it I Think he had- Did he say don't do redhead jokes? He inadvertently said don't do redhead stuff. How much Italian are you? I think he was like, why? I think I had asked him or something stupid like that.

It's almost too on the nose, huh? I was just insecure as fuck when I had first even talked to him and I was like, whatever. And then I think I had said, I don't want to do that redhead. I did maybe a redheaded joke. And then he was like, you don't need to. Why do you care? It was something along those lines. I don't remember the exact,

but it made me think about, because he doesn't do it. So I was like, oh, he doesn't do it ever. Ever, ever, ever. And he's Gimara Uno. Are you, what are you, Italian and Irish? Half, half, Italian and Irish, Siciliano. Me too.

But see, the difference is, I look Irish, and I've got the body in the cock of an Italian Okay, I don't know and you look like like a little tiny Swedish boy. You look like a little Swedish boy Yes, maybe little tiny Swedish boy. I'm a Brian a Galen. Yeah, you know, they're Galen that's an Irish guy. No, and I know terrible sweet. This is an Irish guy. This is clearly Irish man Well, yes, that's Irish Jamaican. No, this is a Irish guy. That's a so Jamaican. This is an Irish guy. This is clearly Irish man. Well, dude. Yes, that's Irish. That's Jamaican. No, this is an Irish guy.

That's so Jamaican, dude. This is Irish. Okay. Welcome to Ireland. No, that's... No. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No.

Welcome to the island of Ireland, man. Ireland, come over, get some fish and chips and fruit and salad. No, see that's... Falafel. This is Ireland. No, that sounds so... Falafel, fish and chips, fruit, salad, couscous's a luffel. This is Ireland Salad couscous on the island of Ireland. No, that sounds so Jamaican. I'm not even close to Jamaican Jamaican accent you want to do my I am Jamaican. I'm a big black Jamaican guy. Everyone knows I'm Jamaican That's Jamaican super Australian. You are so bad with dialects. You don't know I don't I already I studied in college dude. I did dialects. You don't know. I don't, I already.

I studied in college, dude. I did dialectical research. That was one of my focuses. What was your major in college? Journalism and English. Journalism, major, English, focus, and I had a dialectic subset. I did two and a half years of learning dialects

around the world. Name a place and I can do it. Maori. Maori. You want Maori? Yeah. Okay. Welcome to this I am I am who the nobby me will pull you on that sheep. And you didn't understand the language because I was also doing some. That's the best Mary Accent I've ever heard.

Give him another one. Russian. Easy. Russian probably one of my favorites to be honest with you. Russian is easy. Russian goes, oh, you want to eat a lot of fish with us or do you want to go and you're separate with because dinner is meat. Okay, now I have to say, sorry, now look, I don't take this wrong way but that does sound a little bit French. Well, you're going, you're talking- Do you want me to kick out of here? Do you want me to get out of here? No, no, no, give him some more, B, give him some more.

Okay, okay, take it easy, take it easy. Can I hear- Please. And don't make it, don't make it, can I hear Japanese? Easy, Japanese is probably one of my favorite ones to do. Alright, I have to get prepped for it. Ready? Yeah. Keep your mind right. Ooh, ay, poppy. You know, you know how to do this with me. I wanna dance on your lap and maybe shake up my pussy pussy pussy.

Okay, okay, bro. I have to stop you. I have to stop you. Because it's so good? Did you just get transformed like you were back in Tokyo, Japan? It sounds so fucking Spanish. Dude, that sounds... Dude, that's very... Honestly, you guys are so good. Did you just get transformed like you were back in Tokyo, Japan? Sounds so fucking Spanish. Dude, that sounds very bad, the popping. Honestly, you guys are so wrong. Maybe I am. I'm telling you, you're wrong. I went to a fucking school for dialectical research. Okay, maybe we're off.

Let's take a little break, then we'll get right back to this throwback episode. Your boy's working out every day. I'm rocking a tank for a reason. Gotta show off these shoulders this tan, although I'm peeling, whatever. I've been out in the sun at travel ball. When you're at travel ball, the weather's hot. You gotta look fly for the other parents. You never know who you're gonna run into. At the gym, you gotta look fly.

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now. All right. Not to brag, slight flex. Casey at O'Reilly. Shout out to that dude. Helped me out. Got me some black paint and primer for the truck bed trim. It was gray, but my truck's all black. So he helped me get to the freaking black paint I needed. Now it's done. Holler at your boy. All right. So the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts is your one stop shop for all things auto do it yourself. You can find what you need in store or online. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit them at OReillyAuto.com slash fighter. That's OReillyAuto.com slash fighter. Let's just kick it off dude. Let's go baby.

You know this is a special episode of fighting the kid. Brian the Kid Callan shooting his bullshit TV show as he calls it. Trash. Absolute trash. Trash. you know it's bad which one is it which one of these which one which which shitty spin-off is he doing now who knows he plays in a coach with Rick if I don't know dude but Jim teacher this guy's the worst the worst I'm glad I'm here so I decided to fill his chair with Brian Kalin and then of course we we filled Brian Callan's chair with the Red Rockets. That's right baby. That's how it goes. The Red

Rockets tour is coming in 2020. Come out and come see me. What's up bro? What's up baby dog? What's up baby dog? Trying to do it. And then we got to me one of the greatest queens alive right now Andrew Schultz. What's up player? Thank you very much. All the way from New York man. Yeah you know I didn't know that that Santino and Callan had like a friendly beef. It's hilarious. It's not friendly anymore. Apparently not.

We were on stage at our show the other day at the store. In the main room? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, Santino's a passionate fiery guy. The most fiery. And someone just goes, so how do you really feel about Calin? He says that to Santino.

And Santino just starts ripping Calin. Dude, in that moment, we're like, what the fuck? Bro, he's like going in, he's like his material is this or whatever. And I look at him, I literally take the microphone away and I go, this is family business. What are we talking about? This is backstage stuff. Four hundred people here. I was lighting them up. I feel like you're that way with everybody except me really. Except for you, yeah, because I really love you.

No, but I do that with Callan because I just, his little cocky attitude, he's got way too much attitude. When he comes in the green room, he's got way too much attitude. He prances around like he owns the place. I don't like it, he flashes money a lot. Like, Delia flashes money, but it's different because it's fun.

Callan does it and it makes me so fucking mad, dude. I want to choke him out and kill him. His little skinny neck. I'm back to thinking this is real. Yeah, part of it. fucking mad, dude. I wanna choke him out and kill him with his little skinny neck. I'm back to thinking this is real. Yeah, part of it. I did, dude. They're blurred lines. I think I was right.

Part of it is real. And it's blurred lines, because the things he was saying weren't like, it's personal. Yeah, it was really, it was like, and his hair's thin, and you were like, why would you even mention it? I didn't say that.

You did, you were like, his hair's so thin. That's why you go through a divorce. Yeah, yeah, dude. What the fuck, dude? Yeah. That guy teed me up, that guy in the audience. Your wife DMs me. He's like, something about that. Whoa.

Right. Just super personal. Ghost accounts. She's got ghost accounts. Shultz, I felt like last night in the Bella Room that stand up on the spot was made for you, man. Dude, I love that show. Shouts to Jeremiah.

Yeah. So dope. I love that show. How weird was it, though? So if you weren't there last night, Santino, but the way they did it, you know Dude, I love that show. Shout out to Jeremiah. Yeah. So dope. I love that show. How weird was it though? So if you weren't there last night, Santino, but the way they did it, you know, stand up like that. I've done it, yeah. I like that show.

Yeah, Jeremiah's show is great. But they, Commie Central is doing their thing where they have a celebrity who has an earpiece in and then people are feeding them jokes. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's from Spade's show where they coach them how to do stand up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. So they had, it would go legit comic like Andrew, celebrity, comic, celebrity, comic,

but the crowd was like, you know. Who were the celebrity? Who was the celebrity? This black guy went up after me. He's gay. From Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Oh, that's what, dude, that's so funny. Hold on, his G-Fel has the show.

This black guy, he was gay? His G-Fel has the show. His G-Fel doesn't know any gay black guys. Dude, that shit is, no. I don't either. Bro, I don't know any gay black guys First time I would go down south, you know people just way more friendly and I was like dude What's up with all these gay black guys? You go to Atlanta's the first time I ever see so many gay guys Atlanta's different. Yeah His jeans were painted on.

Yeah. I didn't know who he was. So I didn't know. I just heard him say something. I didn't know he was saying Queer Eye for the straight guy. Straight guy, yeah. I thought he was like, I'm the queer guy. Because he said, hi, my name is whatever. I'm the queer guy. And I'm like, is Spade telling him to just, like, are they pranking? What's going on here? But there was one guy, and I don't want to say who

because I don't know what they're going to do with it but he wouldn't say the stuff. He'd go, nope, not saying it. He would say that out loud? Cesar Millan? He wouldn't do it? Wait, I don't understand. What do you mean? He would say no in the middle of the bit? He didn't like where they were going.

I don't know, I thought it was maybe too offensive. Dude, you've got to get someone that's down. There's the kid. That's his name right there. You just had him up. Camaro Brown. Was that him? Yeah, that's the guy. I don't know if that's him.

Clear eye for the straight guy. That's what I typed in. His dick was in everybody's face in the front row. Camaro Brown. Is he a big guy? Is he a big boy? Not small. His jeans were, I've never seen Tyler Jeans.

So wait, and Cesar Millan, the dog guy, though? I miss Cesar Millan. I would have loved that. Yeah. And he didn't want to participate? I guess Cesar Malan. I would have loved that. Yeah. I like him. And he didn't want to participate? I guess not.

Wasn't having it for the most part. I mean, would any of you do that? What do you mean? Like write the joke? Like have somebody in your ear telling you what to say? Yeah, but the whole point is that people, they're doing that whole point is people that aren't stand-up. Like they had Chuck Liddell do it.

Yeah, but like just tell me what to say and I'll do one joke and then I'll walk off. If I wasn't a stand-up, I get the bit, right? They had hot Instagram models go up there and do it. They had Chuck Liddell do it. They had- Yeah, I get it because I wasn't a stand-up I get that I get the bit right they had hot Instagram models go up there yeah they're Chuck Liddell do it they had because they don't do stand-up that makes that's funny to be like fed lines from professional they have the two property brothers the twins yeah them do it yeah yeah but as a stand-up no you would never but even a not stand-up it'd be like let me just learn one joke and then I'll go up and I'll tell it and then I'll get off but they're out there for a while yeah why are

you doing that that's gonna get one of them one of them was good I got to tell you there the I'll get off. But they're up there for a while. Yeah, why? Why are you doing that? That's good. One of them was good. I got to tell you, the girl, the Instagram model, you'd have to look it up on Spade Show that did it. Secret Standup is what it's called with Whitney Houston. Whitney Houston was there. When Whitney Cummings does it, it's really funny. Whitney did it with Spade and an Instagram model and she murdered her. I love her. The jokes were fire. All right, fine. So like it works, especially because you see a hot chick. No, Chuck Lavelle's was funny too. Charlotte McKinney, that's her right there on Lights Out. Yeah, let's see it.

You know who also did really well was Swaggy P. Remember from the Lakers? Nick Young did it? Nick Young crushed. Really? I didn't see that. I love him, bro. You love Swaggy P?

I love Swaggy P. I'm a fan of him too. I did a show with him. We did the show where me and him sat in the hot tub. This is legit. We sat in the hot tub drinking Coronas. Yeah on What's a what's the? Nah, I know we did the show years before he did his show

I was gonna say you know, we sat in a hot tub and we were doing the same his producer goes Hey, don't mention the D'Angelo Russell thing. Yeah, he's like do not mention and I go yeah respect I won't I'm not gonna step on his toes. Yeah, we get in the tub. No shit. Yeah, we're chatting He's laughing. I'm gonna get, respect. I won't, I'm not gonna step on his toes. We get in the tub, no shit. We're chatting, he's laughing, having a good time. Right away, he says it. And he's like, you know what I say? Snitches get stitches, I'll bury a motherfucker. And I was like, oh my God.

And I looked at the producer, and he's just shaking his head, and I'm like, I didn't say shit, dude. He's offering, I go, you don't like snitches? He goes, nah, and they know who they are, and they know exactly where they are, and I know where they are too. And I was like, I was smiling the whole time. I was loving every are too. And I was like, whoa. I was smiling the whole time.

I was loving every second of it. I was like, go get him. This is right after it happened. We shot that show right after it happened. Thank you, Kat. So I was worried. He was, you know, but they let us release it. He signed off.

He didn't care at all. Yeah, he doesn't care about anything. No, but that's why I love that. Why did he get in trouble? He didn't get in trouble. He cheated on, what's her name? Yeah, whatever. Iggy Azalea. Ig her name? Yeah, Iggy Azalea. Iggy Azalea.

And D'Angelo Russel had recordings of it. And he snitched on them. He had a recording of them in the room, I think, or something, right? Talking shit. Talking about getting pussy, and I think it all leaked. And D'Angelo Russel was at the crux of it, right? For some reason. He was the one that recorded it.

Oh, I thought he was, oh, he recorded. No he recorded it and then aired it on like his Instagram right? I think he posted on Snapchat or some shit. Obviously it was a mistake I don't think he was really, I don't think he was trying. That's a pretty bonehead mistake. Huge mistake. Why are you recording your friend's conversation? He's balling now though. That boy's balling.

In Brodangelo? Well no now he's in a. Oh that's right he left. Yeah he's a baller now. Yeah yeah yeah. He's really good. Now he could hoop. He could hoop. He could definitely hoop. You can can hoop This kid can hoop. Thank you. Thanks for the invite by the way in Montreal to play in the basketball ladies

My guys didn't even fucking if I invited you a JFL they didn't invite nobody I invited you these I see I go down. I'm not about you you did I know but I go down the gym to lift I feel like I'm not I go down to lift and these guys are coming To basketball jerseys. I'm like, oh thanks for the you had basketball jersey. Yes They do this thing where it's like five five. Yeah yeah it's like full three on six it's weird Canadians are weirdos bro yeah it's just like a comedy was a comedy festival game all right so it was like us or Canada versus the world Shandling style yeah Canada versus the world yeah the world one who was your 21 do come on bro lay around

was me Rafa you know Rafi. I know of that. Rafi and the Brazilian guy. I know of it. Dude, he can hoop. He can hoop. He's built like you. Oh wait, the straight Brazilian guy.

I'm meaning he's straight from Brazil. Like he came over here. Dude, how many queer eyes do we have on this fucking show? Queer eye for the Brazilian guy? He's like, I'm gonna speak. He's like, do some Copa Whedon. Do some Copa Whedon and suck your dick in between.

Blum, blum, blum, blum, blum, blum. The straight person ain't got any rules at all. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I do know him. Yo, Rob is great. He's great. He's funny too.

He's a beast. So he hooped two officers on the team. He hooped. There's a few other folks. I'm forgetting right now. I like that. But yeah, it was a fun little game. I woulda hooped.

Anyway, I wanna do it. Next time I wanna do it. are you guys doing JFL in Vancouver? I'll be in Vancouver Are you going? Yeah, I didn't know you are you not going I'm gonna listen to this weekend. Oh, so you're not yeah No, no, we're doing yeah, we're doing Vancouver this weekend. I think Burr is doing it. Yeah, I was so surprised I was like I'm surprised really well most guys will do JFL Montreal. Yeah, and and Toronto. I did tour you did Toronto, right? No, you didn't do it. I did Toronto JFL promoted my Toronto dates. I guess didn't exist um Tie you into it. I don't even know how it works. I don't even know why we need a promoter I'm doing the promoter. Yeah, I know I know I know the whole thing is really weird. I don't even know who's doing it now, right? This I think it's Tim Hortons promotes the whole thing. I think

there's a coffee shop that they do. I don't know. I don't know. You get a coffee, you get a free ticket to jail. You have gigs in Europe, right? Yeah. So like your agent books another agent to book your gigs in Europe, right? Yeah. I remember when my, and I love my agent, he's the man, but I remember when he explained this, I'm like, so what the fuck do I need you? Yeah, why don't I just deal with that guy direct? Yeah, like I can email him. Yeah and say Scotland. Yeah That's what but that's their get your did you're taking away that they're the middleman the agents are that's why they're fucking up I know that guy that knows the guy there to go but and now those guys are done like they what is it? Bert did that deal Bert did some deal that's gonna change a lot I think what's gonna happen is these like are you allowed to say the deal? I know the deal Are you allowed to say it? Well, I don't know. I don't know either. Maybe not

I don't think Andrew's ever not said anything because he's not allowed to say it. I don't think I like Bert He got ten million dollars. I like Bert For his touring rights, I like Bert he's a good guy But they they like give you what it's basically like getting a guarantee guarantee you're not tickets anything. They take care of everything They're booking the dates. They're booking the dates. They're booking everything. So once you do that, if his agent handed him over to them, his agent's a retard. Because why would you hand someone over to someone that makes you completely unnecessary?

Right. And perhaps give you 10%. Exactly. It's like, why would I give you 10%? You're not doing anything. So it's like, why would you ever do that? It's just odd, right? Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.

Don't you think that the future is going to be all these venues that we all play the same venues? Like it's AE, why would you ever do that? It's just odd, right? Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Don't you think that the future is gonna be all these venues that we all play the same venues, like it's AEG or like Live Nation, all these venues are gonna just go, well, we'll just book your touring and then we'll go, okay. Well, it's kind of like how, it's kind of like how, what's it called, took over radio completely.

What do they call it? Clear Channel. Like those guys just bit up, ate up everything and now they own and control everything. Any radio station you go to now you know when you do clear channel they own everything so all their rules apply they're pretty much like the big double down on a radio hard feeling hard bad hard podcast one tried that with podcasting same thing yeah they try to eat everyone yeah doesn't work dude I

had I I'm like last night I had a very uncomfortable situation where at the club. Yeah, what happened? I I did that He's laughing right now. I already I already it's gotta be I did stand up. I did step whatever I just stand up Yeah, yeah, Jeremiah. I'm leaving. I'm about to walk out Scott free we had a great time go do another spot everything is gonna be great laugh factory and Emily at the store goes hey, do you want to do a spot in the main room? Joey's on it, Burr's on it, Greg Fitzsimmons is on it. I was like, hell yeah. And we're walking through the main room,

and she goes, yeah, you know, it's like a benefit for people on the spectrum. And I'm like, hold on, it's like, retarded people here? Like, what's going on? Because I just don't, I was like, I'll just pass. I don't know exactly how to do it, you know? And then she goes, no, no, no, no,

it's like people in a halfway house. To me, halfway house is you had some drug stuff, or you maybe were in jail locked up and they're trying to bring you back into regular society. I usually say drug, I go to drug addict. Or drug addict. Doesn't matter, right? Halfway house, drug addict.

So I go halfway house, okay, I'm walking in the back, there's some guys with like beards and like face tattoos, and I'm like, oh, there's some rough guys that's trying to get their life back together, and I'm excited, because I'm like, these guys aren't gonna be offended shit I can fucking go in fuck. Yeah, I Get brought up on stage. I do a couple jokes things are going really well

And then I go into this bit this retard bit, right? And you see how like quiet is now Quiet it is now by like a thousand That's what that full room felt like really it got real quiet I'm like, this is weird, but you were crushing before that cuz I saw you early on it was good I'm not I'm not the guy who like says I killed every say like I'm the most critical myself It was going it was going well. Yeah, it was going hard Took a little turn Took a little turn and then I would say I got it back up to about like 50%.

Right? That's a hard hole to dig out of. We were real deep. Someone say the hardest. We were dug very deep. OK? We were dug very deep. Help us out!

I walk off stage, and Diaz goes, he goes, he goes, hey, why'd you close with the retouch, though? It's a benefit for retards. I go, what? He goes, yeah, it's for fucking retards. It's OK, kid, don't worry about it. Right? How about the sound guy goes, dude, balls, man,

to do that retard joke and for the retards. For the politicalulture Retard! He goes, but I thought it went pretty well, about 50% done again, about 50% done again. Bro, I go back to the fit him as like his face is just blank. No, people were just staring at him. Some people were there just to see Burr. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They don't know what the fuck it is, they just see Bill Burr. So I think all those people are like, oh this is awesome. And then all these people that are taking care of a retard at home are like what the fuck is going on like I'm Supported dude the first comic that went on I think was like mentally challenged, but I didn't know I thought he was just a comic Cuz you know comics are all I have a registry Wait a minute, you know comic can be awkward a little bit. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I don't know. I don't know anything. Bro, wait a minute. You know how comics can be awkward a little bit? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I just thought he was awkward. I just thought he was awkward. And, um, I can't even talk about our interaction. But, uh, I felt so fucking bad. Yeah. I felt so fucking bad. You went to the laugh factor after that? I went to the laugh factor after that. And honestly, the audience was more retarded at the time. Hahaha! Bro, they were more retarded.

Dude, I couldn't believe it, dude. You did two of those shows in one night. Dude, two of them. One you expected, though. One you knew was coming. The other I walked in and I was like, okay, it's going to be good. It's going to be some close eyes here. Hahaha!

I saw the arm canes out front I know what I'm getting Retarding it's so specific. I don't know remember Tartu was just everything. It was a thing. It was all the things Now it's just took taking on a different kind of power, right? It got owned, it got taken away. Dude, your shoes are retarded. Yeah. It was just like a... And if they were, they were.

And you knew when you went home, you're like, in front of everyone, you were like, shut the fuck up. No, they're not. And then you get home and you're like, fuck these fuckers. Fuck these fuckers. Mom! Mom! What the fuck are you buying me?

What the fuck? What's a KED? What's a KED? Dude, honestly, getting picked on for your clothes when you were young riddled you worse than anything else in the world. No matter what they can make fun of you about, if you got shitted on in front of your friends by something you wore, it ruined you. It's going to keep it on the food day. Yeah, you First period you're like Before school you're like what the fuck we're just making it out here turn it inside out Do you remember those jet when I was a kid those jackets remember the starter jacket? Yeah, I wore that and I didn't my brother's Tell me how that older brother. He's tell me how cool they were is it Dallas Cowboys starter jacket

It was around me like dang cuz it. And I'm like, I got this guy back at school. And everyone's around me like dang, because it was like a low income school. So white boy with a starter jacket. I'm like dang. And they're like dang, that's a starter jacket. And I went, it is my first one. It is my first one.

Dude, I got roasted for the entire day. Like you will. Never wear again. Never, why? No, you can't. No? It was like, because I didn't know what starter was Wait, can you not wear starter? You can but I just didn't I when this motherfucker thought they were saying starter your first

Jack, like your first jacket. And I went yes my first one Like a ESL school, remember that crowd you're performing for That was a benefit for Shob. It's a starter. It's my first one. Dude, it ruined the coat. Ruined the coat. That's it right there. That was Shob rocking that. The hardcore starter jacket, baby. I did have that Charlotte Hornets one.

Bro, I knew a dude in high- this was really smart. I knew at junior high is actually what he used to do it. He, in his backpack, would bring a change of clothes just in case he got shitted on on stuff that he wore. I'm not kidding. He'd bring different shirts. Like different shirts or different like pullovers. Yeah, because he was always so worried. Yeah, I don't know what he's doing, but he was so worried about people shitting on him.

He would bring a change of clothes and his mom, I don't know if you had friends like this, his mom didn't let him wear certain, she was like, you're not wearing that out of the house. You know what I mean? Like, no, she just didn't, she just restricted him from getting certain kinds of clothes. So he would go out by him, you know, secretly stuff him in his backpack and then change at clothes change at school So his mom never knew he didn't want she didn't let him wear certain stuff Like if it was like a Tupac shirt, she's like, yeah, where did you get that from? She would like lose it if she saw him some shit like that. It was it was like black guys or was it?

No, just she's like a hit rap, you know rap culture was like that arrow when we were kids It was like our parents were so against there were so many parents against that like That could that rise because it was it was so dominant You know what I mean? Yeah, what hip-hop did in the night it changed culture forever. Yeah before that Do you remember your first hip-hop CD? I remember my first hip-hop tape go. Yeah, it was bow down Westside connection That was my first that was my I play I played that tape so fucking much About that, you know that song Cassette my father took it away cuz I had the n-word in it. Oh, wow. Yeah, just one though I think he heard the first one the first one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, I mean my parents heard all my bullshit at some point My dad was just like just don't play that shit in the house. That was a dope cover, too Dude amazing cover never do that cover today. It was cartoon, right? It was a cartoon drawing. The cartoon they were passing. It was like, yeah, it was like a dog. Bring that shit up, Jim. Stoop dog, doggie style. Westside Connection I loved so much because it was hard. No, they were hard as fuck. I don't even remember the song. Really? Yeah. Bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, Cause I ain't a hater like you bad. I'm just some mm's that's greater than you well It's the Chuck where and I'll still sported up dude. It was hard Look at this Look at our asses out the dog ass little dog yeah

You know what's great about this era of hip-hop you could you could use the same loop on different songs or even three different artists Use the same the same loop of the same sample, no one gave a shit. Who shared the sample? A bunch of these guys would share different loops or different samples that would get pushed across albums of all his whole crew. Warren G and him would use the same shit because they were cousins. They all would make mixtapes of shit before these albums came out using all the same shit. That's how they got famous.

If you go down to that famous record shop that he shot at in Long Beach that I think is still there. That, why can't I think of it? I don't know, man, I haven't been down to Long Beach in years. The last record shop you've seen. No, bro, but it's famous. What's from his music video?

You know that record shop. Yeah, I know, I've done it a lot. What's it there? There you go, there you go. Yeah, VIP Records. I don't think that's even there anymore. But when I first moved to LA, it was still there. They still sell all their,

they used to sell all their old mixtapes there. You go get all those old mixtapes from all those West Coast Oh, see if you want to see look at that right there look at all these pictures all these motherfuckers I want to see a wild cover go to the original guns and roses appetite for destruction cover bunch of bitches Dude, it's one girl bunch of bitches clearly got sexually assaulted. Look at the dude. That's rock Do you like look at look at look at the original cover the original? Let, dude. Look at, look at, look at the- The original cover. The original. Let's see.

No, they had to remake it. Why? This one, right? This one? It's the girl, she's like hanging out. This one, right there. Whoa, I've never seen that before. Dude, panties around the knee.

My mom bought me this CD. Oh wow. Panties around the knees. It's like a skeleton, a skeleton person who's like just about to- Holy. He's giving her like a cocktail Oh, wow, he's bad on his ankles. What is that shit? That is she's got her titty out her pants around her ankles

And it looks like she's got those like black and white schoolgirl shoes like a schoolgirl skirt You know, yes, yeah, and he's got his pants running. He's got a nice sport coat on looks like you try to bring her flowers Sorry, sorry for the rape. Here's some flowers. What's wrong with his head? Is it exploding? Is it a robot? I think he's looking up at the monster coming. Oh no, that's a robot, not a skeleton. His legs are like robots. Yeah. I mean, whoa. Those two scenes look like they don't exist. They don't match. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Mother's Milk. I had Mother's Milk. You remember that? I remember Mother's Milk. Clicking Red Hot Chili Peppers, Mother's Milk. I had mother's milk You remember that mother's milk the click click in red hot chili peppers mother's milk

My mom was livid that chief saw this because this one back when album art was so dope Look at mother's milk the cover of this red hot chili peppers album Yeah, look at they're all sucking her tits right on the cover Dude, I'm gonna I'm gonna trump all this. Oh, wow go to look at how great that was. My mom was like, what is this shit? Porn oh, that was porn odor. He's like the cover. I had it was Mercedes. I should jack off to it all the time Mercedes no limit records Let's see it. I love that shit Jack off to this all it was my number one source of Jack material as a kid

I'm which why I love black girls now right there bending over the car As a kid. Which is why I love black girls now. Right there. Bending over the car. The hood. The hood, yeah. Boy I jacked it there. But the girl looks fat as shit now.

We can back on it. Not fat, no her face is tough though in that photo dude. Why did she pick that bloated picture? She had a tough night. Out of all the pics. If you got the photo shoot you gotta do the photo shoot. But yeah I would jack the hat. Oh she got the cigar.

This is interesting. Yeah. Is it weird? Yeah dude. You know what I first started that. Oh, she got the cigar? This is interesting. Yeah. Is it weird? Yeah, dude. You know what I first started jacking off to? That sex scene in Jerry Maguire within like the first five minutes. I would loop that VHS over and over.

When you- Oh, the girl- Girlfriend? I loved it. Do you remember first coming? Yes, I remember the very first time I came. I don't. No, I have CTs.

Did you taste it to make sure it wasn't pee? What the f- I'm gonna go and leave myself as well. I'm getting my shoes and I'm getting the fuck out of here. I'm getting the fuck out of here. I'm getting the fuck out of here. I'm getting the fuck out of here. I'm getting the fuck out of here. Taste it to make sure it wasn't Second I was like dude, I love Schultz but I More dude that's changed when I was a kid. I would taste it I know a lot of news. I found out about it jerking off Mm-hmm, and I would jerk off in the shower I wouldn't come because I didn't even know what it was and then I would just pee afterwards.

Oh wait. And then I would put my finger in the pee stream and then I'd taste it and I'd be like, ah, it's not come. And I figured eventually one of these times it would just taste different and then that was going to be, I'm a man now. Wait a minute, you would jerk off and not come? I would just jerk off like maybe like five or ten strokes because then stop and then I'd stop and then I'd just pee and I was like maybe it will become one of these times I didn't even understand the whole concept of orgasm I'm not hating because it's weird

when you first start coming it's weird I didn't even know to come I don't remember You don't? You don't remember? Dude not only do I remember I don't even remember the first time you jerked off I remember the first time you jerked off

I don't remember sex I don't remember Dude I remember so vividly and I think I told this I think I told this on here You remember too? I remember coming know. I don't know what I remember so vividly and I think I told you I think I told us on here Do you remember to show I I remember? Coming and I remember playing chin you remember. Yeah, you remember to fuck Listen, you know what that is, bro. That's me. No. No, that's yeah, that is that is molestation dog You you had some trauma you had some sexual trauma. You might have come early and tried to black it out

Dude, how's trauma. How often were you touched? Cause you were probably a big kid. Was I touched, dude? Never by a babysitter? No, I was not. You had an older brother? Older brother.

So he always watched you. You didn't have babysitter. Never. That's lucky. You got it? The older brother. Do you think? You got molested by the older brother?

No, you didn't. No, you didn't. You got molested? You didn't. Did you get molested? I didn't have a brother. that don't do it at shop Bobby Lee said he got molested by someone with Downsend he did that's a funny story story also that is the funniest last day you heard the story he said to me where the podcast he goes he was it's crazy because he didn't even convince me. He was like here

Though right or some shit no Yeah, that's right. So you remember first time coming now. You've never been molested never What's molested? Do you tell me like I? Did a pizza shop and We're old I was maybe I'm maybe like 12 or something like that a little I know and maybe 12 So 12 13 minute, and there was a girl my friend's older sister Would recognize when I got boners and she would sit on my lap and she could feel my dick That's not molested. She hot molestation. That's inappropriate. Good time. Well, I loved it. How old are you?

12 how old is she? 17 18 For any victimhood what I'm saying is is that considered that I would never know no no way traumatized by it I'm sure you loved it. I remember. You weren't traumatized by it. I'm sure you loved it. I remember, I couldn't wait to go to work. It was the whole reason I went to the pizza shop. I was 12 years old.

Why was I working? Your dick is ready to donate money. Yeah, why weren't you working? I don't work, I don't donate money. I had a beach house. But I was there to get my fucking dick rammed up against an ass. That's what I wanted.

It was my friend's sister, Ariana. She would just sit on your lap. Dude, it was a stool, and I would sit in the stool And then she was like I'm tired. Can I share the stool with you, and I was like yeah Then I would just rock up and I and then she would lean back up against it And it was fucking you would get hard when she sat on your lap before and then she would set the dick up And we set it up set it up Set it up you talk about the pants of course I talk it up talk it up the pants you up. Would she do anything? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock?

Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock?

Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock?

Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? Would she like rock? I, I, I definitely not West Asia. I would tuck up. I don't think it is. No, that's not, that's not, that's not. And then, yeah, I don't think it is. I don't, I don't make the argument for it at all. Did you get touched? No dude, no, not even remotely.

I didn't get touched enough. I wish I got touched. Why? Because we have like a good household and there's like. I'll tell on you. I'll, I'm a snitch. You'll snitch. You would have snitched if you were a kid that got touched.

Oh yeah. By a guy. Yeah, but by a girl you wouldn't have, you wouldn't have said shit. No, I've done what you did. Yeah. Yeah, you wouldn't have you would never have chin remolesting. Yes Not that I know of yes. Yes. Yes Are you yes he was I don't think so. You don't think so No, hey, I like how everyone just you don't think you remember sure

Dude, that's the thing is people try to block that shit out Any issues? Hell no. No. Cat no way. I bet you're the cutest fuck at like nine. Bro. So, no more game bangers.

Yo, so I'm on Bobby's thing. No, no, it's an interesting point. But he's talking about her as a little kid. She was cute. She's cute. He just had a baby. Chill. It's a male one.

Fucking feds are going to come get you, bro. They're going to take your kid away. I'm not saying I want to molest her. I'm saying I bet she's a male one! Fucking feds are gonna come get you, bro, they're gonna take your kid away! I'm not saying I wanna molest her, I'm saying I bet she's a cute kid, man! Chill! Okay. Chill with all that shit! You might have to chill, but there is also a point where it's like, cause that's when I was on Bobby's thing,

Kalyla was like, I was molested, whatever like that. She was? She said it, she was like, she was like, fangirl or something while she was sleeping, and as horrible as that obviously is, like, that's a good talent scout, because, you know, she became a beautiful woman. Like, he saw something early, right? Like, how old was she, though? She was like, nine.

There's no way you could see what a stunningly beautiful woman. How old was the guy that, say what? How old was the person that did it? I didn't even get that. I should have asked that part. It was like another nine-year-old. It's you know that's not molested no well that's shooting a shot if it's kids if it's two kids it's two kids if it's two kids it's fine it's fine it's weird if it's older but this is this yo you know what this proves look at this there's another teacher's a bunch of teachers aides got busted again blowing kids that in the park

Where were these? Today the news came out right teachers aides arrested for sexual misconduct Can you look this up who's fucked more kids teachers or priests? I tweet about this pretty solid look at this go right here Look at this teachers aides busted for having sex with two students in a community pool, bro Yeah, that's great. That's brave. Look at this bitch's picture, looks like she fucks kids in pools. Fuck yeah, hold on.

These two kids ran a train on her? Fuck yeah. Dude, these kids ran a train on a teacher? 100, that happens all the time, you know this by the way. You can look up football team fucks teachers and shit. These teachers, they see young, brooding kids. Have you looked that up? Yes, yes, yes. It's looked that up? Yes. Yes. Yes.

It's a category. It's a category. Google teacher fucks football teams. Dude, here's the thing. Way more teachers fuck kids. I swear to God. No way. Son, look up the, I bet you it's,

I bet you it's 10,000 and one. That we know, cause the priests we never hear about. Cause the teachers aren't as good. Teachers versus priests? Teachers versus priests. Who rapes more? Yes. Teachers versus priests? Teachers versus priests. Who rapes more? Teachers versus priests? I think it's teachers. Not rapes. I think it's teachers too. It's teachers to males and we don't care about males. That's right. It just gets blown

over. It's blown over. Do you feel sorry for the kids who ran a train on their history teacher? No. No. No. And also if those kids are like 15, 16, I've seen some beefy 15, 16 year olds. What? Just a compilation of all the shady shit Shaw says today. Almost 1,700 posts. She was nine. I bet you were cute. I've seen some beefy 14 year olds.

Look, look, look. Just look down. Abuse in school 100 times worse than what? 100 times worse than what? Click on. Then by priests. Thank you. Do we shut down schools now?

Dude, you can find anything. Confirmation bias. Bro, what are you talking about? This is diddle. Boom. Do we shut down schools now? Dude, you can find anything. Confirmation bias. Bro, what are you talking about? This is diddle.com. This is called livesite.com. Dadgotdiddle.net will tell you everything you need to know. What does it say? Educator section misconduct is...

Hold up. Study. Hold up. The most accurate data available at this time indicates that nearly 9 point six ten percent percent of students are target of educators That's a shitload ten percent. That's a shitload of people do a lot of kids Ten percent of kids get diddled by teachers. That's a fuckload But do we know about yeah, we know about know about yeah How many write this how many students how many?

How many students are there in the United States on average like just how many kids are in school? On average watch this this number is gonna blow your fucking mind. We're talking about K through 12 doesn't matter But yeah, yeah, yeah K through 12 how many how many K through 12 students in the United States? 50 fucking million five million kids get in touch that's in shop You the greatest country in the fucking world job you the greatest country in the fucking world us of a stars and bars where you at China Are you at China?

Kids to one child policy. You ain't got no molesting dad dude Tim we're talking five million that we know about get touched dude. That's crazy No, these kids aren't a little bitch asses. They need to complain and get some fucking sympathy about it. All right, take that molestation and fucking roll with it. That's insane. 50 million kids or 5 million kids are getting touched that they went home. Oh, they got caught.

Usually what happens, the teacher gets caught. The teacher, her text blows her up every time. They're like, they found her phone. Or the kid snitches on him. No, the mom finds the text. And she's like, what is this? Or the kid tells the mom. Yeah. Almost never. never did all those stories that I read like the teachers aid one Yes, she got who knows she got popped by another administrator

Someone else saw her texting the one who fucking hate her. So here's the thing. I don't understand when women do it To get you saying to kill some women molest mmm, you're not gonna come right as Like there's no way a boy. No the woman. Oh, yeah, she's not gonna come. She're not going to come, right? As like there's no way. The boy? No, the woman. Oh yeah, she's not going to come. She's not going to come. So like it's actually, in one way it's actually worse, right? Because it's like you're doing this only for the manipulation and abuse part.

Or they get the rocks off after they go home or they're in their office. And then finger themselves to it. Yeah, but dude, you can look, this is a fact too. Most, if not all rapists, male rapists, they don't come either. Yeah, that's how they get it. But dude, you can look, this is a fact too. Most, if not all rapists, like male rapists, they don't come either. No, it's extremely uncommon. It's after. Yes. Or they go back to the site and jack off.

Physical abuse and control is what rapists enjoy. They come back to this site. Yeah. They go jerk off in the fucking alley just standing over where it happens. There's a lot of bro sites going on right now. Look at that, common beliefs about rapists. Rapists don't, most don't come because't come because of the struggle, the abuse. They love the power dynamic. There's a bunch of different parts about it. Like I guess when I say that I mean strangers. If you're attacking someone. When it's rape in a family and all that stuff, all that shit is fucking way. I don't know.

How about how we got started? We're trying to figure out who got molested and no one did the only person that got close was you But sound like a good time. I didn't really end out his story totally fine. Yeah, I don't think I did honestly chin I got it airing like you grew up in America though, right? You grew up in America. I was born in Korea. You were born in Korea, but I came here when I was like three years Okay, okay. Hey boy, what you doing over here, chin? Come here, chin, I wanna show you something, boy. Let me sit something on your chin. Yeah, you ever see oil come out of one of these things?

Why the? Bet you don't got this in Korea, do you, chin? Korea? Korea. We do it a little differently down here, chinny, chinny, chin. You gonna take one on your down here, Chinny, Chinny, Chin. You gonna take one on your chinny chin chin, son. No.

Yes sir, bend over Chin. Hey, help me put on my boots, Chin. You sound like Shia LaBeouf. Chin had to help him. Help me put on my boots, Chin. Go on, put on my boots, Chin. Chin goes home. He make me put on his boot.

Oh, wow. When he was three, dude. He's not an immigrant. When he was younger. When he was younger, you had a bigger accident. He make me put on his boot. His parents like, what did he make you do? He show me his oil stick. What?

His oil stick. What did he make you do, Chin? He making me taste his oil? No, no, too much, bro. No, no, too much. I believe Chin was it. You know why? Because... Don't stop, don't stop. Just say it. Just say it.

Just say it. Daddy? I don't want to go to the highland field. No, go to the... I like the Texan talking to Chin, man. Hey, boy, come here, Chin. Go ahead, Chin. I'm here, Chin.

I want to show you something. Let me take you around town. You hungry, boy? You like pancakes? Oh, yeah, I ruck at the pancakes. Ruck at the... Well, we got syrup syrup not duck sauce over here This is special syrup down here boy

What town was it in Dallas? It's central Texas What's that in Texas? Belton? We got syrup not duck sauce around here Hey man I don't want to be part of this. Oh man. What's wrong?

Dude, we're just talking about diddling kids. Hey, what's the big deal? None of us are in SNL. Not now. Y'all see, if you fall fire on the kid, you follow Brian, you follow me. A few weeks ago I took my son and the entire Fire in the Kid crew out to Alaska. We went for one reason, one reason only.

To catch halibut, a bunch of it. We did it with our friends at Sportsman Cove Lodge. It is fantastic. Listen, I'm hard to get out of the house. I'm not the biggest outdoors guy. Dude, it was a once in a lifetime experience. My son had so much fun. I was so worried about him.

He wants to go back all the time now. There there's a five boats, six guests per boat. So our whole crew is together. All right. You limit or come close every day. Trust me, you're going to limit. You catch a bunch of big fish. These are facts. We're actually didn't get the fricking 70 pound halibut we caught put on the wall here. Still looking into it, taking a hot second and get done here in LA, whatever three to one angular to crew ratio 1 to 1 staff guest ratio the food is the best in the industry it's locally sourced the dinners were fantastic a lot of fish not gonna lie to you all right go to alaskansbestlodge.com they might be booked for the year either way go to alaskansbestlodge.com

set it up for when they have availability. It's fan. Tastic. I can't recommend enough. Uh, use TFA TK at checkout for 10% off your first trip. All right. That's six slots per person. All right. Buy one, get one limit of one per person. Very limited availability.

Like I told you, they might be booked out, but when they have openings, maybe it's next year, next summer, do it. If you're a dad out there, you got kiddos. It's the best thing I've ever done with my son. It's alaskasbestlodge.com. A true crime podcast. It got me upset because this is someone's kid and someone knows she's gone.

That takes a different approach. It was shocking for something like this to happen in our little town. Focusing on the communities affected by life shattering crimes. Focusing on the communities affected by life-shattering crimes. It made news throughout the entire region that these two people had been shot while they slept in such a safe community.

To give a new perspective on the devastation crimes can cause. It was shocking for something like this to happen in our little town. Featuring cases from quiet towns to bustling cities and interviewing the people closest to the case. My first thought was that it's an unusual location for us to have a homicide. Listen to the true crime podcast, City Confidential,

and step beyond the yellow tape to learn just how far a crime can reach. There are certain cases in the history of Boston that I think sort of define the city. I think this is one of them. New episodes of the City Confidential Podcast are available every Thursday, available wherever you get your podcasts.

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