The Fighter & The Kid - We Finally Address the Reddit Hate | TFATK Ep. 1143

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

In this episode of The Fighter and the Kid, Brendan and Bryan sit down with comedian and wrestler Nick Simmons, who joins right as the guys finally address the years of Reddit hate, online criticism, and the wild narratives fans have created about the show.They dive into the hilarious but eye-opening ways women underestimate real strength, why self-defense fantasies don’t match physics, and how pepper spray, bear spray, and knives work in real-world scenarios.Nick shares his insane PCP pandemic home-intruder story — including the break-ins, the stairwell fight, the loose slice of pizza, and the moment the cops let the guy go… right before he bit one officer’s nose and an EMT’s Achilles tendon.They compare this to the Anthony Smith intruder fight, breaking down why meth and PCP shut off the “governor” in the brain and create freak-level strength.From there, the guys get into Mongolian and Polynesian genetics, strength competitions, football concussions, stingers, and the brutal gap between normal athletes and genetic freaks.Nick also opens up about moving from NYC to Austin, meeting his girlfriend’s intimidating dad, being a regular at iconic NYC clubs, and the new comedic grind of trying to get passed at The Comedy Mothership.The guys finish by roasting each other’s outfits, shoes, and the chaos of performing comedy while your friends try to mess with your head backstage.A funny, honest, chaotic episode with one of the best young comics in Austin.DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Pick6 app now and use code FIGHTER. That’s code FIGHTER — New DraftKings customers can play just $5, and get $50 in Pick6 credits.O'Reilly Auto Parts- https://oreillyauto.com/FIGHTERTrue Classic - True Classic - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/fighter ! #trueclassicpodMagic Mind - https://magicmind.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm just in a bad mood. But now I'm not actually. Well, why do you want to kill us both? I'm actually not in a bad mood. I'm actually not. Brendan? What? Why did you want to kill us both?

I don't know. Just wanted to on Monday. The difference is I can, but I show restraint. Really? You just want to kind of like, I don't know. Like a silverback? I don't know, man.

If he wanted to, that's a problem. Yeah, that would suck. That's a problem. It would suck. Yeah, it would really suck. Uh-huh. Are you ready to? Because I can't stop him from hurting you.

You guys need to grapple up a little bit. You need to feel his power. I know this is fucking strong. You ran away when I was wrestling. You were supposed to help me with Brennan and you just took off. No, he's too strong. Remember when we said who could, if I could kick you guys out of the studio? Yeah.

And then you took off. You had a neck problem for about. Forever. Forever. Yeah, weren't you in a neck brace? Yeah, like that's the problem. That's the problem with if you warmed up. I got to tell you this, though.

He's really strong. I didn't tap. I was so, like, freaking, like, now I'm not going to let. But then I told you, let me have time to, you know, train a little bit and work out. You're like, no. You need to feel him. Let me. I know, dude.

I'm going to lose regard. The rumor Chappelle thought he spells athletic, too. I'm like, Baba. No, no, I love it. Listen, you could train, and I'm not kidding for 10 years, 10 years. He would tap you at will. And when I say tap you at will, all your, like, I'm going to stay. No, he would just do shit to you where you go, oh.

That's very different. Are we going, Jim? Yeah, we were. Yes, we did. Because we back at it again. It's the fighter and the kid. This is really the fighter and the kid. Come on, baby.

Dude, but did you show, Joanna was like, hey, I want to make this video. I go, okay, what's the video? She goes, to see if, let's say you were like a mugger, what you wanted to rate me, if you came behind me, if I could escape, I went, you don't want to do this. And then Steve, my father-in-law's there,

my other-law, and like, oh, it'd be fun. I'm like, you think it's me. fun. It's going to be scary for all of you in this race. And I'll go at about 20% and there's not a thing you can do it to a man. Oh, easily. And John's like, no, be fun. You can play it it, Chin. It's on my Instagram. She just posted. I collabed on it. She's like, you don't think I can

like grab behind, like, you could take the whole family at once. That's why, that's what I told him. Like, literally, if shit popped off. Oh, this is great. Okay. Let me see it. This is. Look, attack me. you can see i'm like all right oh damn the song and it's about 20% she thought she could use her legs

to trip me and you're just squeezing a little bit 20% not even close no I told her I could squeeze so hard and break her ribs you can do that to my man oh yeah and now right here's really bad for her oh just wait

now I get risk control and you're really Screwed. I love the mindset of women because they're like, my girl did the same thing to me. She's like, she's like, I want to see if I could push you off me. I'm like, I've wrestled since I was eight and I'm on steroids. What the fuck do you think is going to happen? It's not going to happen.

My wife was like, you, I thought I could like take my leg and like kind of do. I'm like, no. Does she know that like a top level black belt, that's her way class is not doing that oh i told i i go you think you'd let trip me so so easy one of gold and judo couldn't leg trip me but you'll do it in your jammy i had a girl i had a girl say she goes i once i learned how to defend myself i was like i'm done and i went you learn how to defend yourself she goes yeah i go against what she goes like just if somebody attack her she goes an attacker i go what would you do and she goes she literally goes like this she goes i would go like this all you do is this yeah you go like that

and then like that, and you hit their nose and the bone goes into it. And I was like, and I went, I went, wow, good job. That's what we believed when we were in middle school. Remember, you're like, if you hit someone upwards in the nose, they die. The death touch. I think it's, it has to be scary for women.

Like, you know, I'm a normal person. That's why a woman should carry a weapon. Pepper spray and a knife. How about that? God, even if you give her pepper spray a knife. A gun's better. The closest you ever feel to as a dude is when you just walk through a bad neighborhood alone.

Yeah. And they feel like that at all. time. But you've got to rehearse pepper spray because the pepper spray can be taken from you. I'm talking about you have to practice. Literally practice with a fake pepper spray. They have practice things. If you don't practice the way you're going to do that with a knife and you're not going to, it's not going to work. Yeah. But then you imagine if you walked into your house and your girls all okay. I wish you would. It's like, bitch, we're in Austin. Yeah. Where are you planning to use this? Uh-huh. Now, we're in L.A. It makes sense.

It takes one maniac. One of the best situations ever. my young years happened because of pepper spray because i told you i was a bouncer back in the day and uh we were fighting we helped the police outside and then their backup came pepper sprayed everybody so we all got hit i was a bouncer at this bar and one of the girls who worked at the bar saw that i was awful because you put milk in your eyes to get rid to like to stop the pain and she was this girl that i wanted to smash forever and she was actually the head of the cheerleader sorority at that school and i always wanted to smash and she goes oh you can't drive home tonight you got I'm going to have to have you stay at my place.

So she had me stay at her place for multiple days. And like, well, worth going blind for it. Did anything happen? Yeah. Of course. We were like, oh, my God, I get pepper spray. I'm like, yeah. I was like, I want to get pepper sprayed all the fucking time.

This fucking rules. Dude, she drove you back to her place. Yeah, and she's like, you have to stay at my place. I can't have you driving back home like this. So they did you a solid? Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you been pepper sprayed before? I helped a woman who had been pepper spray. No, no. Have you been? I know you have that girl in Venice, but have you? but have you i've never it's horrible dude but i was five or six my my my my grandpa died so my dad was clearing out of his garage and me my brother's playing grab ass my dad goes oh whole thing of pepper spray shakes it and i'm standing directly behind like what's he's like stand back you

don't want to get in front of this but he sprays it and the wing goes oh fuck dude just me my brother dude my dad's like oh shit and it's getting your mouth your nose it gets all over your face it was like not today bitch it feels like someone's holding two lighters yes in your nostrils and your eyes are on for every part of your nasal cavity is just fucked that's like mace you know you see these guys same thing same shit you know dove maced a dude uh in the car the guy they got in a fight and and he was in the car and a guy came to the window and he just went dressed him down dressed him down

well don't they say for intruders bear spray because he can shoot super far away fuck yeah bear spray is a nightmare you're not doing shit it stops bears it stops bears so a human and there are there are videos of humans being

bear sprayed it's not a good situation and somebody's coming in your house it's actually outstanding to do that's what they say bears if you don't have a gun it shoots so far and it's It's gel. Yeah, you can shoot super, like, from here to the grub. If you do it in the house, everyone's getting fucked up.

Yeah, but, but also the thing about a gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but the thing about a gun is that it's going to, if you shoot somebody in your house, even in standard, standard ground state, they say that you just have 200 grand minimum just to defend it. It's still going to go to court. It's still going to be in Texas. It's going to cost you 200 grand, almost always. Maybe.

Brian says that it's actually, if you look it up, it's actually a myth. Is it? Yeah. If you go to a. keep saying that so I looked it up really yeah if you go to a gun store this is the first thing they tell you no so they're probably trying to cover their bases too look that up chin yeah look it yeah look it up whenever you stand your ground in Texas yeah like how much does it cost average when you shoot somebody in your house who's an intruder yeah yeah brand keeps spreading that false

narrative and then people like man I better not shoot dude the last thing I think about like oh hopefully it's don't get tied up in court no that's a staff California's one of those states do get caught up because the family can still sue you and then you have to pay for X, Y, Z. California is definitely one of the states where if you are the one that ends up killing somebody, if someone breaks in your house, you could still get in trouble. Am I right? What did you type in, Chin?

Exactly what you guys said. What? How much is it cost average if you shoot someone in your house who's an intruder? What are your, what are the legal fees? How much, what legal fees? But that's if they press charges. So it's not going to give you the actual theft. But no, because the family always sues.

No, they don't. You get sued. That's a false narrative. The average cost. Right. Hundreds of thousands of over half of them. Of course. If you're charged for murder, but...

The average cost of legal fees after shooting an intruder in self-defense can range from hundreds of thousands to over half a million. With the total cost broken down into legal fees, civil liability... This does nothing for us. Listen, no, you're wrong. No, you're assuming everyone's charged. You don't understand how it works. I'll explain.

into legal fees, civil liability, other expenses. It's impossible to give a single average as cost vary based on the complexity of the case. Attorney experience. So when you shoot somebody, no matter what, someone in that family that's connected to that person is going to take you to court. That's not true.

It is true. It is. Type in Home Invaders, is it 100% the shooter who defend them owes. It's not 100% prime. But it says the average cost of legal fees when you shoot somebody. who is who you're shooting in self-defense i'm telling you it's not 100% buddy i'm telling that right now no but almost always if they do that's what it would lead to the that would be the

incurring when you shoot anybody in your house even if you're in the right you're not going to do it you're the amount of money you're going to spend when it goes to court because somebody's it always people always sue you you're wrong you're absolutely wrong i guarantee you a hundred case of defending your house is not 100% that you go to court almost always is possible so it says highly unlikely highly unlikely to avoid all legal fees

course but that that's google a i if you ask chat gbt it says legal justification self-defense law under the texas law the so-called castle doctrine self-defense law says someone unlawfully enters your habitation you may be justified in using deadly force so in texas no justifies legal fees what i'm saying is that no matter what

someone in that family almost always brings you to court they see you're not going to go to jail necessarily but so you have to pay for leave you have to play for lawyers you have to pay for processing all that stuff and usually but at the end of day none of that matters so if someone breaks in your home you're like oh man the legal i better let him fucking rob my house i'm just telling you i'm just saying you always bring it up when someone breaks in your house you said it's a false narrative you said it's a false narrative it's not false narrative it's a hundred percent no it's not so so you are going to pay on average if someone breaks to the house, Brian's been training, wrestling, very hard.

So Sam Sheridan, who wrote a book about all this, this is a while back, did the numbers. So the national average, if you look at what people have to pay in self-defense, I'm not saying they don't, Brian. That's where you, they pay this on average, 200,000. That's what I'm saying. I know, I know it's expensive. Okay. So that's, no, 200, I'm saying not 100% of self-defense cases people get sued and pay $200,000.

Nothing is 100%. What I'm saying is that. That's all I'm saying, Brian. Even if you shoot somebody in self-defense, which, you know, you're going to do, you're going to pay money. You're going to pay out the ass. But you're alive. That's what I'm saying. Who gives a fuck?

If someone breaks in your house, you're not going to be like, man, I don't have you want to agree. You're going off on another tangent. What I'm saying is that you expect to spend crazy amount of money. Now, it's not very fair, but that's what the legal system can do to you. It's still going to bankrupt you. You could legitimately go bankrupt because you defended yourself in your own fucking home. Now, we have a discussion about whether that's fair or not, you know, but that's, that's, well, we know it's not fair. I don't think the arguments of it's fair.

But that happens. Of course. Yeah. Yeah, it's a shame that that's the law, but that's the law. It sucks. Yeah. Luckily, you've been training jiu-jitsu and you don't have to worry about guns. You're ready for, you're ready for a ball down.

I just, uh, I just put him in my guard. That's what I love about you. You're training for a fight that's never going to happen. Did you see that dude who broke in Anthony Smith's house? No. Take a little break here on boy, Nick. Because turkey touchdowns and. takes. It's Thanksgiving.

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Pick-6 credits that expire in 14 days ends December 2nd at 11.59 p.m. Eastern time. Terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. This dude broke in Anthony Smith's house, but he's on meth and he wrestled in high school. And Anthony was like, dude, I've had tough fights. I hit this guy. He goes, I got mount. I landed so many elbows, 12 to six elbows, and the guy would not stop.

Well, I told you. Jesus. Yeah, he was on meth. And he's like, dude, I hit this guy where anybody in the UFC had been out, this dude would not stop. That happened with PCP to me. So back when I was still living in New York, it was the first day of lockdown in the pandemic. And me and my ex were sitting in the living room. and we just hear something trying to like our lock trying to open we're like what the fuck is what the

fuck is that so i walk over open the door and there's this kid probably about my age like trying to pick the lock and i go what the fuck are you doing and he goes oh you know the the landlord said that i could come check out this apartment and i went no what are you talking about and he goes yeah and i said what's the landlord's name it's a greek lady's name so i knew he wouldn't know it and he goes it's tom way off so i was like get the fuck out of here so i told him to get the fuck out he actually leaves right and he just looks something looks off about this guy and like you've seen people are fucked up something just seems a lot 20 minutes later we hear it again but it's not our door it's the door right next to us he's trying to break into the next door so that's when I come

out and I grab him throw him down the flight of stairs and this was the scary part threw him down the stairs he rolls bounces up on one foot and just runs out the door and I'm like oh that's a lot yeah 20 minutes later hear it again it's another one of our neighbors He's trying to break into every single one of these places. So that's when I came out with the knife. And my roommate just saw I've been to be coming on this kid, Ralph Anthony, New York comic that's like 230 pounds, and we trap him in the stairwell. And he finally just like, after we've like thrown him around, roughed him up, like he's admitted defeat.

But he was like 140 pounds, but like this kid could just keep on bouncing up. And at one point he kind of just gave up. And it was weird. He sits down, opens his backpack, pulls out a loose slice of, I thought he can pull a gun, pulled a loose slice of pizza out of his book bag. And a blue moon. He was a ninja turtle. Yeah.

A fucking ninja turtle on PCP. Oh, got a piece of pizza and starts eating it? And he just sat there, just eating the slice. And it looked like a good slice. So my roommate goes, where'd you get that? And he goes, this roses down the street. Did you guys call the police or anything? Yeah.

So my ex called the cops. Oh, I would have let him go. This is the crazy part. Because it was during the pandemic, the cops at first were about, we're listening to it. And they're like, where do you think you're supposed to be? And he's like, ah, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, all right, we're going to let you go. He bites the cop on the nose.

What? He bit the cop. What the fuck? And they sent the two, like, flimsyest police officers I've ever seen in my life. So they're trying to wrestle this guy. And he's just fucking yoking them up, throwing them all around. Ford other cop cars come. The next day I know, I have a video, it's like 10 cop cars outside of our house.

He's biting that. He bit the Achilles tendon of one of the ambulance workers. And then this is the craziest part. The next day, I get a phone call. And they're like, hey, if you happen to see him, if he comes back, just like, give us a call. And they're like, well, because of COVID, we can't. keep them wow and i'm like if he comes yeah new york city you bite people you're trying to break in like and i don't do it again yeah bit his fucking nose bit the cop's nose bit an

killy's tendon of an ambulance worker and they just had to let yeah probably like at the time i was 28 you're probably like probably around the same thing assume white yeah no like latin yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean, come on. What do you mean? It was also the dumbest time to ever try and do it because everyone is locked inside their fucking house. So everyone's home.

He's not thinking about it. No. And they were about to just let him go until he bit the fucking cop on the nose. Jesus. Some people make the worst decisions, man. God. Someone's on drugs. It doesn't matter how much wrestling you have or how much fucking.

That's what Anthony Smith is saying. He was like, dude, I'm telling you. I hit this kid with knees, elbow, nothing. He just kept fucking coming. Yeah, I saw this mobbed up kid at one, one time. at a bar in my neighborhood. He found out some guy was talking to his girl. The dude was all PCPed up.

He showed up with the center block, cracks the dude over the head with the center block. And the kid just took it and kept on fighting. And I was like, ooh, that is not someone you want to fight. When they tase those guys on PCP or meth, it does, they just went through it. They've shot guys in the chest. They just keep coming. There's actually one time. It makes you want to do it.

It does make, I want to see how much I bench on PCP. Just check out my max. How about UFC just go in there and start? On math? well thinking how much you would bench on math could you imagine if those guys are doing it you definitely put up some well PCP kind of turns off

because like your brain has this like natural thing inside like you know like a car I forgot the word I think it's called a governor doesn't let it go too fast it turns off the governor for strength that's why like you'll lift shit that you shouldn't be able to lift because the governor's turned off all the things that your brain would tell you

we can't lift this because we're going to rip parts of our tendons out that governor comes off too like you'll hear of dads like their kids trapped under what a like a fucking like a snow ski you know like a jet ski and the fucking fucking throw it out throw it up where they could never do it because whatever that instinct is the god turns the governor off and your body goes party time and there seems flipping snowmobiles over and shit that's like you hear those moms and stuff like that like pull a shark off their kid that's not they're not strong enough to do it

it's just that governor fucking just turns off and they're able to just do mom shit that would have never been able to happen. Now, imagine if you could create a supplement where you could take that governor off. I would take, I would inject that peptide in a half. But if you could get something like that, trend is the closest thing to it. You'd like this because they, there's this, that

show I was talking about physical Asia. And they have like all countries in Asia competing. So Philippines, Indonesia, Australia, you know, it's all these. And Australia is just, you know, they got Robert Whitaker's on it. They got Robert Whitaker on there goes, just giant Maori, who's a strong man, forget it. right but man when you see whittaker and he had they had to hold together this these 300 and that

little girls laughing columns like this and they're holding like that and it was wild because like you're you're sitting there holding it for 30 minutes and they're dying so somebody's like oh the guy can't live and Whitaker just goes he goes he goes let's go I fucking live here and he was just like it's a it's a different gear with that fucking dude and then the woman's going Whitaker she's a wrestler a national wrestler and he just he just looks over like this and just stops and looks over and he was like oh you just turned me on and that not turned on the competitive edge some people have that extra gear that motherfucker has an extra gear where he just does shit that's just extra extra extra well that's why you were ufc champion did you see the first season of that show yeah it was so good did you watch

oh they had the hang no there was one episode where it's like they had the mama fighters they had power if there's at all this. And then somehow a male MMA fighter from Korea had to go against a female bodybuilder in a competition where it comes down to who out grapples and throws around the other person, whoever has the ball at the end of it. Yeah. And all of them are

like, you could see them all like, she's very strong, she's going to do a very good job. And he just dog walks her. The producers are like, and you see them all go, oh, whoa. You got, yeah. Oh, God, he's all yeah. Yeah, at one point he just stop feeling bad.

Like you picked her up and back and just tripped out her feet underneath her. Try to be cool. Like I did it with my wife. You know who they couldn't figure out was so strong? They couldn't make it because they were like, how are they this strong and they have this endurance? The Mongols. Really?

Mongolians are huge people. Yeah. Are they like Polynesian built? They are. They're like a giant, like Chinese people with some. Russian? Yeah. They're like really fierce looking.

Like a Shavkaty. Yeah. They're a fierce looking people, man. fucking huge and they're wrestlers they like like yeah they're like huge and just they just they live on the steps like that guy look at that guy they got that face that wind doesn't affect them they're fucking strong yeah yeah their cheekbones usually high yeah yeah like they're real weather look at oh my look at guy like weather tech could you imagine look at that guy I don't know if you've seen those videos of like the the Polynesians that run at each other I forgot what that new sports

dude I think it's better in slap fight so much better you seen this I have seen this I have seen They just run into it. It looks hellish. It looks better in slap fight. It's so much better. It's so much better. Those people, that's who you want to see you against Polynesians. Well, I will say that the one guy who beats everybody strength-wise.

I mean, the one guy. It is all of Asia is the Maori from Australia. Yeah. He's a strong man. And, dude, it's so crazy. Even the greatest mongolian wrestlers, they grab his hand, they go, oh, they feel it in there like, oh, it's different. Is this a sport or just legalized chaos? That one?

That's it. That seems really dangerous. Even if you win, that's a dead shoulder. So bad. E, boom. Damn, bro. Just, oh, damn.

You know what we call this when I was a kid? Smearly queer or is football drills called Oklahoma. Isn't that how you break your back? That's Oklahoma drills. Yeah. You start off on your back, jump up. Can you run around? Can't you break your fucking neck like that?

I've gotten one of the worst concussions I've gotten one of the worst concussions I ever gotten because somehow you just always end up helmet to helmet on those drills and I remember just one time one of my eyes looking one way one of my was looking the other way and my coach had to smack my head like an old television set and especially back then like and i fucking yacked yeah you got your bell wrong you're like well okay that's not good no that's sport what's so crazy about that is those Polynesians they don't even have to train they're just built like that you know what I mean yeah they're built like rhinos so it's like they can do that yeah yeah yeah they can do that even you're a fucking freak i would never do that but you that i would get a 400 pound

polynesian and they're like they're they're they're low to the ground and their they're just built for it yeah they're fucking they're like bowling balls yeah they're no neck too just like this guy has just shoulders and a head and you're like yeah they're literally made for that you just wake up and it's just some guy bill like is from somewhere of the rainbow just fucking staring at you like you would rather do that or slap fight slap fight paid the same slap i'd rather do slap fight because i'm dying in this Slap fight, you're just getting, you're getting your bell rung. This is like life, you could get a life-changing injury from that.

I would just, I guess you'd run this way. I don't fucking mean. Oh, that's why it's not for you, Bubba. No, you got, no, that's not the rules. You got to, you got to just run in to somebody. It's all shoulder, and it's just, you're just knocking people to fuck out. Yeah, no. No.

But you're built for it. Yeah, I'm really built for me. I could use some. I'd pay money to see that. I can use some pollinia. That would be dangerous. like you could do slap fight and be all right i played football like and i went i got hit a couple times i was like oh i'm just not this not for me i can't do you no thing i ever quit no it's

only thing i ever quit i went first of all everybody was too cold second of all everybody was bigger and i was like this i'm too angular but you knew that going into it right yeah but wrestling changed everything i loved it but i was like this is fucking awful the cold i'm everything i'm just not it's not a fun sport like if if i have kids i don't know if i want them even playing football because it's like because they're built for it my kids won't be like your kids because my kids will grow at a 5 foot 9 max that's if things keep on going uphill you know what I mean like not if you get with a tall girl though now my girl's 5 3 it ain't happened we're just got that's your tiny girls too tiny girls so your kids gonna do you love this the the coach who runs the whole

baseball program when tiger had tryouts and they just had tryouts again last week he was parents gather around I want set of expectations not for the kids for the parents he was gather around He goes, now listen, the Dodgers aren't out here today. So nobody's getting signed by the Dodgers. Everyone needs to relax. And there's also another aspect to it. Some of you are 5-5. And then some of you are 6-4.

I can work with 6-4. You can't work with 5-5. Everybody good? Yeah. Break. Dude, it even makes a big difference in baseball. What do you mean by that? Because like the kids who are,

whose parents are like basically 5-9 and under and the moms are 5-5, those kids, there's not the athletic either. they're not going to be able to compete in a certain age. So he's like, yeah, the small age, like wreck and stuff, you can get away with that. Eventually, there's, he's like, there's nothing to do genetically, I can only do so much. Speed's that way, too. That, I mean, like, you're born with speed or not.

I have parents that's about time. How can I make my son fast? I'm like, there's nothing we can do. No. He either has it or he doesn't. Like, you could get faster, but you'll never be fast. You can clean up. You're running, but if you weren't born with explosive speed, it's just that's, you got to figure it out.

Go to first base. go third like you gotta figure it out yeah yeah you're white play quarterback yeah yeah figure it out yeah there's just isn't you know just the way it is sports are not fair and tiger's probably what my height now probably bubba right he's getting a fucking big dude yesterday he had football practice and he caught a ball dude i was sick to my stomach he caught this ball i'm like sick catch but he went backwards and he he went over almost like scorpion but it was all on his head and he went like dude like his neck went boom fuck bro dude and he was laying in there like Bro.

He was like shaking. Who is this your child? Tiger, man. Jesus. Another kid's story. There was another kid. Was he okay? Oh, dude, he had a stinger.

Oh, fuck. The neck went like this. Yeah. So he had this whole stinger here. That's really bad, man. No one's dealt with more stingers in life than me. So I just knew exactly what he's doing. He's tough kid.

It's rare he cries, man. But this one must have been hurt. Fuck bad, man. Yeah. He was cool. It was like after an hour. I put heat on it. Everyone wants put ice.

You put heat. so we did uh heat and then probably like an hour late i seen back out there run around like thank god i was sick to my stomach that's i was so i was sick to my fucking shit i mean have you ever had an injury where you're like where when it happened you're like maybe i might knock it up never never one of those no one of those never one of those i got so many stingers in college that i had to wear horse collar you know like so you can't move what is a stinger. Stingers when like the compression of your neck like this and it fucks with the nervous system. So it keeps jamming the muscle like this. So I get and then your your body, this side goes

numb. Wherever your stingers, the nerve system goes numb. I got so many that on my left side of my body that the nervous system, all the nerves here were so over saturated, it stopped firing. So this, the muscle stopped growing. So my left arm got really skinny. My right arm was normal. I got so many that's how I have to deal with it damn you deal with it just rest rest but we're in the middle of the season so I couldn't rest I had to play so by the time I got done I was literally like

my body was like this I had to do so much rehab my body was literally like this so when it comes to stingers for T I'm like buddy I got my master's degree in stingers you're lucky I'm your dad really dangerous yeah that's why sports are so dangerous at that age sick a little break here because this is my place

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This November, action is free on Pluto TV. Go on the run with Jack Reacher. Every suspect was a train killer. Then buckle up for Drive, World War Z. Every human being we save. It's one of less to fight. And Charlie's Angels. Damn, I hate to fly.

Launch into sci-fi adventure with the fifth element and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder. What is going on? on here all the thrills all for free pluto tv stream now hey never but you're lucky you got a tall kid like i weren't super early back because i'm from the bronx so you just learn very early that you're not going to be as good as a puerto rican or a dominican kid that moved here from the dominican republic it's like well that's different baseball's life yeah i'll take up wrestling because i love baseball until like dominican kids started coming over from the dominican republic and they're also

21 years old and you're 14 and you're like i'm not going to fucking hit a fucking 90 out of a fastball off this fucking kid? I think it's good for kids, man. Like T's on the super competitive football team, and there's this black kid on there, his dad's Nigerian, his brothers, fucking All-American and their genetics are insane. He's a receiver.

He's fast as fuck. He can jump through the roof. And T's like, he plays receiver. I'm like, yes, buddy, now you're realizing. This is why you're a tied end. Like you thought you were receiving in Calabasas, California with all the white boys. Yeah.

That's what receiver looks like. This is why I keep fucking telling you you're a tied end. Especially down here. They take fucking high school football. Serious. Like town shut down down here for that shit. No one gives a fuck about football where I'm from, but down here. Sports in general.

And especially in Lakeway where I live, you won't, you can throw a rock and you'll find someone that played professional sports or high level division one sports and they coached the teams. Like every team my son's played for, either former pro or do one. Yeah. Well, how about Dakota Sheffley? We were working out with Dakota, and he said the last time he was 170, he was 11 years old. Yeah.

He's 12 years old. He was your weight at 12. Yeah, it's just a different human. Yeah. That's sports though. Yeah. It's not, it's just not, like, when I looked at him and I went like, no matter how good of, like, if I trained in jujitsu and trained in boxing, that's just a different human. You know what I mean?

Like, that's when weight class goes out. Like, the first time we saw Brian Shaw, I went, no matter what I wanted to do, nothing would happen. But he's just, just, they're just, they're just, they're just, just, they're just, they're just, There's some people where weight class just supersedes all technique. Yeah, it's called physics. Yeah, it's called physics. They're just something. They're for a reason. Yeah.

Like, you've seen the video of Brian Shaw and Bradley Martin. Like, Bradley Martin's a big fucking guy, but like. Brian will pick him up like a girl. He did. He just tossed him around. Braggdoll. He's so big. He's a legit giant.

Derek Wolf is saying that. Derek Wolf was like, he would grab, because Derek sent me a video of them wrestling. And Brian got underhooks and just fucking picked him up and tossed him. and Derek was like, it's the most soft-eating feeling. Did you imagine our poor European ancestors back in the day when they saw a ship of Brian Shaw's coming through the water? Just Derek Wolf, just be around that guy. Like, look at him.

Well, but here's the difference. So, listen, I love Brian Shaw. He's a giant, but have Brian Shaw try and sack the quarterback. Can't do it. Too slow. Yeah. Too slow. So Derek, Derek Wolf's skill set is enormous compared to Brian Shaw.

Not even. He was a stud, right? Stut, freak. Freak. Motherfucking freak. Yeah, freak. And he's got that mentality too He's just like

NFL all of them do Yeah just a monster Yeah all them do I thought I was wondering Because we were talking to Dakota that day And we're wondering like If

UFC paid enough right How many current heavyweights Could still stand the test Of being athletic enough To go against if NFL players Like at that size Hold on So are you saying

Heavyweight UFC fighter Fighting an NFL guy Or NFL guys Would have started off Instead of because If they're not Well, if start off in the UFC, he'd be heavyweight champ. You think so?

Easily. But if it was the same pay, it's not about pay too, because fighting sucks. Like, don't get me wrong. I love it. It's great. But at the end of the day, you're still fighting for a living instead of catching footballs. True. So if, now, if it was paying like 10 times higher, then it's worth the risk.

But then the injuries, all that shit, is just not worth it, man. True. You know, so that's the difference. Yeah, because if you're getting punched in the head. for a living. It just, that's just a different life. It does take a special person that doesn't have a ton of options to get punched in the face for a living. It's not just that also. And it's, it's so scary. I was talking to Dustin Prairie about that. Two days a week would be sparring with monsters and, and guys bigger than him and everything else. And you're getting hit in the head no matter

what shit happens. And you have to get up for that every fucking week. Think about that. That's the job. After 53 fights, like, most people peter out. Most people are like, you know, I'm getting hit i'm having a fuck with monsters everybody's head hunting me because i'm a name whatever it is just gets harder and harder and you know that's why boxing all that stuff is just you pay a price you pay a price in any sport football you pay a price it's just professional sports you pay a price like that's the game yeah that's the game at least with football usually from what i've talked to those guys they scrimmage pretty light is the games that they you know they go crazy it doesn't matter you pay a price yeah they're their knees like are you kidding me dude they're

backs like clop played six years they're all in love they say the injury rate is 100% also if you play exciting football like what's his name from the giants the new uh oh uh uh the white boy yeah he's just like ski ski ski ski ski bo scabbo scadabbo scadaboo yeah this dude is have you seen this guy yet it's in scataboo he he plays uh no he's not fullback he's a running running back he plays like a fullback he's from Arizona state people he's my height. But you'll watch him run, you're like, that kid might have two years. The most exciting two years ever. Yeah. That's what happens when he's exciting football. Why? Because he's just so crazy. He plays like Earl Campbell. Like in 2009 25, he plays like Earl Campbell where nobody plays that way

and that's where everyone loves him. But I look at, I'm like, oh, buddy, you're maybe going to, you're going to be a one hit wonder. He's going to play two years. You have all these injuries and concussions, and you're not going to get your severance pay. And he wasn't a high draft pick. Yeah. It's fun right now. Yeah. He's hitting, he hits people like they did in the 80s. Yes. You know what I mean? Like they're like, they don't give a fuck about C.T.

Like he's hitting, he's just, like he's fucking smaller shit, but he's running people to fuck over. Yes, he's like an old school like Bo Jackson. Just destroying people. Yeah. Does not look to evade the tackle once I'm through him. It's just, I love it. It's like a throwback.

I'm a Cowboys fan, but I still will watch him just because I'm like, this is going to be exciting. No one plays like him. He just has so much heart and you're like, you root for him, but it's also like, buddy it's going to be a very short very fun run you're me drooling out of your mouth in four years oh yeah he just so he's just got he's just he's just he plays the game way the way you should play but it's just it's short-lived dude i root for that kid and dart i'm not giants fan but i root for him no i hate the giants how are you a cowboys fan so they're not new york they're in new jersey so yeah giants or new jersey buffalo bills full stop they're the buffalo bill is the only real new york

team right and my dad growing up hated them and i remember my dad's old enough where he saw roger starbock play and like the cowboys would be on everyone's channel like everyone's tv throughout the country so my dad saw him play and he's like that's my team and i got born into this and we had a good run at the beginning of my childhood in the 90s never win ever again i'm gonna say something i think i think the cowboys are the sleeper team and i think after they beat the eagles that they came that was crazy that was great that was they won last week too And they look so good. But this is, Brian, right, what he's doing is every Cowboys fan, every single year.

I think this is our year. Yep. I was that guy for a long time. I think there's something happened. But he hasn't had his heart broken enough being a Cowboys fan and follow him along to realize. Well, my wife is such a legal fan. She actually stopped talking to me that. Every single year, Cowboy fans go through this.

I had to stop doing it because I'm like, it's not our year. I'm going to make this call because I want to put it on record. I think the Cowboys are going to surprise the shit out of you. I'm not saying they're going to. to be a Super Bowl team. But you got to realize the expectations, them go in the playoffs, then surprise anybody. Surprise would begin to the Super Bowl. The standards for them are insane.

Look at my face. Oh, you're like this. The tee played at the Cowboys facility. We got a tour of their weight room, their lockers. Here's the problem. You have to fucking go all through it. It's cool. See where they sit, their cafeteria and shit.

That's really cool. And I, you know, we talked to Dakota. He's a friend this year. He's a good quarterback, but he plays like he's colorblind. Like, he throws the ball and goes, I wonder why they're coming back towards me. Yeah. Like, there's so many interceptions. And you're the highest paid quarterback in the league.

Ball this year, though, right? There's still a lot of interceptions. Yeah. Well, he's not bowling because they're, what, at five and five and one? No, he's, he has the talent. He's like third for MVP. He's balling, dude. Yeah.

His last game, we had 300 fucking 40 yards, four touchdowns. Right, but I think they're at six, five and one now, no, no, no, five and one. But you're confusing their winning record with him not ball. Don't you have to take that in no account? No. No. No. There's guys that win MVP that they don't win the Super Bowl, you know?

Our division just sucks besides the Eagles, because it goes Eagles, then everyone with a losing record underneath. But that's the NFL this year. Like, you know, my Broncos are nine and two, but it's like, I'm from Denver, Bubba. Oh, shit, okay. But it's like, we're nine and two. It's like, yeah. But also, a fucking, no, I think you guys are fucking sick this year.

Have you watched this much? Yeah, my girl's a Broncos fan. What? Is she from Denver? Yeah. Oh, what part? She grew up, uh, forgot the town. It's like right outside.

of Denver. But we went to avail recently just to, like, go check it out. You know my high school she went to? I'll find out. Definitely find out. Damn, you got a Denver girl, dude. You're getting cooler and cool? Yeah, yeah.

We just went there to go visit her family for the first time. Yeah, but sick out there. Oh, you met her fam? Yeah. Did they like you? You know, it's crazy. So I was, I've never been so scared to meet a girl's dad before because she's like, yeah, Italian, Italian and regular white.

Her dad's like a farmer white. And she was like, just so you know, my dad doesn't like any guys I've ever brought home. He's not, he's a farmer. he doesn't talk to anybody so i'm going over there just like i haven't told you i'm like i don't know what the fuck i'm going to do found out he wrestled and uh we started talking he told her after the because he wrestled he knows he's friends of kail sanderson he's friends of like uh dan gable he's friends with all those guys he grew up like in that era and he's like goes at ncea finals all the time i like and he me and him talked for like four hours straight and he at the end of the trip

she's like he's never talked to any guy that i've ever dated for this long you're just Because of wrestling. And I was like, I stayed on that train. I'm like, he loves UFC in wrestling. And I was like, I could talk that shit all fucking day. That's great, dude. Hell yeah. It was the scariest shit ever.

I was telling you, I'm like, I'm like, I'm fucked. But as long as you have an end, you're good. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Especially wrestling is like a fraternity, you know? And it made me realize, I'm like, oh, because if all you know is wrestling in UFC and you're a dad around girls and you have no one to talk. Especially kids these days.

Yeah. The dance were like, fuck, the kids vaping and sagging and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they bring over a real dude. He's like, oh, fuck, yeah, dude. Yeah, he completely didn't mind the fact that I'm 10 years older than her,

which was sick. Hell, yeah. That's good. You're a mature man. Yeah. No, wrestling settles in all. You know about that. I know about being 23 years old.

Dude, when you met Danny's parents, were they like, I'm, I'm her parents age. Oh, no, I know. So were they like, it's outrageous.

Oh, okay. No, they were not happy. And, and her own, and her brother, I think her brother, after her brother is a tough guy and and he gave me no time because I don't blame him I was 53 or 54 and he was yeah I'd be I'd be and I did stand up and he came to my show with his friends

and at the end of the night he did he he had he was kind of bigger and he kind of took my shoulders and he goes well you did tonight was beautiful I had no respect for you before this I didn't care about you but you did something beautiful tonight and he pat me down he was a little drunk and just went back in his house i was like hey you're 30 dude like but you also get it like dude you're so much older than his sister yeah one time at the mother's so much old brian's on stage i'm in the balcony watching his set and it was the only time you ever said the actual number how much older than you dann is then and you said so yeah i'm like 23 old years older than my wife and some black girl in the back of the room just goes oh lord

3558 like what is the fuck is going on here yeah man she like when you were 28 she was one dude when we when we were 23 23 she's my age when we were when you were 23 she was zero now here's the thing oh yeah so you already started stand up before she was born yeah when we were dating like literally she looked at me and she goes if you were if you were just 40 I could live with that, and I would never let you out of my sight, you know. And I was like, I know, just timing. But, you know, hey, we're hanging, you know. And you slowly wore it down.

Come on, boy. The old cow wore it down. The old heavy dick. And the sense of humor. The old heavy dick. And positive attitude. Positive attitude. Positive attitude.

And she liked me because I was kind. She said, you're so good to people. She goes, you're so good to people who, like, who are. Strangers. Just people that, no, she said, you're very good to people that. you don't need anything people you don't need anything from and who are there in a subordinate position maybe they're a waiter or whatever it is you're so and you tell that's what older people do no i was like that's called common decency but she said uh i loved how

kind you were but that's not sexy kind is not sexy no she said i like how kind you are you remind me of my grandpa that's right that's that's that's that's what you're grandfatherly and you and you at oh as brian's eating a war there's original yeah right i'm like let me take my dentures. Boner just went, oh, tell him what. Brian's also at the age

where he's so gullable and it's so, especially with AI. This is the, my new favorite thing to do is to just get in Brian's head right before he gets on stage. And just me and Nick,

we like to do things where we go, let's see how, like, if this is going to carry out onto the stage. So right before acting off and it just worked up perfect. Acting off by the sunset strip this December 3rd, come see it.

Brian wears a lot of shoes that he just shouldn't wear. You know what I mean? Well, it's better than, shoes that it's crazy to see a 60-year-old man. better than sandals, but keep going. Yeah, I never want to see his feet again.

Yeah. And they're terrible. And he was wearing some regular shoes and I went, and they were actually fine. This is the first time. They were fine this time. But I just went, I'm just going to get in his fucking head before he gets on stage. And I went, oh, are you going to, are you going to wear those on stage? And he goes, why?

What's wrong with them? I'm like fucking terrible shoes. Terrible. And somebody else goes, yeah, they look like the girls in the, it's the whole cast of backing off. We're all doing improv. So everyone goes, they look like, they look like, they look like, you would wear those in a walk-a-thon. Yeah.

And you know, Brian, he also dresses like a stage hand when he gets on stage. It's all black. So they're all hitting me with this. All of them at once. And I'm like... We're just crushed. And then Danny jumped in. She goes, yeah, I told him not to buy those shoes.

My own life. And Brian just defeated walking out. Like, you see his shoulders. No, no, no, but here's the best part. I go out and I make a joke about it. And nobody gets it. Brian walked on... A week later, a week later, they go, hey, dude, your shoes were fine.

That's hilarious. We just decided to fuck with you. He literally walks out there and goes, I'm sorry about my shoes. The crowd has no idea what the fuck is. They look like regular shoes to me. And he just bombed. And he's like, and I know my outfit's terrible.

And the crowd's like, what the fuck is he talking about? What's this guy going for? And we're all in the back just fucking dying. That was so fucked up, man. And then he told us he threw out the shoes. I threw them out. I was like, oh, I can never wear these. A week later, you're like, they're growing.

I was like, they were fine. I was like you, dude. Those were 140 bucks. You like Austin so far? You've been in how long? since July. Yeah, you know what? I have to say it's, it,

I didn't see myself moving to Austin, but then now that I'm here, I actually, I like it a lot. Like the way of life is definitely different than New York. The only thing I'll say that I miss is there is more stage time for stand-up in New York. Yeah,

probably more quality time. Yeah, because there's 30 comedy clubs in New York City. So you could get on stage four times a night very easily. You can hear, but you have to put a lot more effort into it. Because a lot of the places besides mothership, Like, there's some great clubs like Rosco's these other places, but a lot of these places are

ran by the comics, which is not a good system. It's not a good thing for other comics. Because there's no like avail systems or anything like that. You just kind of just like message them and like, yeah, you could do two shows this weekend. So it's like it's still, you know, it's a growing city. But you're making waves at the mothership. They've been great. And this is, this kudos of Nick.

Like, I don't think people realize, like you leave in New York where you're regularly at the stand, the cellar, all that shit. so you you were solidified there you were the man there and as a comic that's so tough to do you're with the boys you're with the right people and you go let me stop all this come to austin yeah you know what it was though too and i think this is just like as i see because i'm friends with you and friends of these people have done so much in comedy and it just this is something that seems like it's just a fucked up part of comics brains i remember being a teenager and watching tough crowd and listen to opian anthony and stuff like that and being like

I dreamed of being at the comedy cell or sitting at the table, you know, like, that was my dream. And it's so crazy that in stand-up, like, you get to there. And then you're just like, now what? You know what I mean? Like, I've done everything that could be done in the city. I'm like, what am I going to do? That's a problem, but it's like, it's like the wrestler part of my mindset where it's just like, you're like, I have to put my head down, have to grind.

And then like, you get to these places and it's just like winning a wrestling tournament. At first, you're like, all right, now I've got to win states. And I got to make it's a national. Keep going. There's never, you're never happy, which is the fucked up part of this. because I'm like, I got to this thing that I wanted to sell as a kid and I was like, what is it anyway?

Wasn't it Chris DeStefano who said it's like a beer drinking contest where the reward is more beer? Yeah. That's like the social media game. Well, and that's everything now. So it doesn't even matter if you're past the, if you're,

you could be past the mothership, past the comedy cellar. It doesn't matter if you're not doing good on social media, that's all that matters, which is really. Speaking of which, come see me at Wise Guys this Friday Saturday.

I can't believe you're not past at the mothership. Not yet. Nothing against the comics. there, but, dude, I've seen your shit. What? He's, not yet because it's saturated. There's just an audition process. There's a process, but he's doing great.

Well, what's the fucking process? You audition for Adam and, you know, and there's, you know, not a lot of space, not a lot of space, you know, there's, that's pretty deep roster. It's different than they do at the cellar. Because at the cellar, what they do is they, like, I had to go, like, you have to go after Bill Burr, you have to go after Dave Atel, and they see how you do on a five-minute spot following a monster. And if you do well, then you have to, you're in, but you still have to, like,

prove yourself kill it every time for the next couple months so they were putting me after uh jimmy car all the time they're putting me up after david'sel putting me up i was following bill burr on a regular basis so like they put you through the fucking through the ring that should be down in that room that's how it should be that that that's the i fit that because but you have to fit in that lineup yeah and with austin it's more of like you have to do he has to see you a certain amount of times like at like a mic or something like that or like at a show there which is like it's a little different is it open mic? is that how they're doing it it's like a it's almost like a mic but it's like they also know who's

going to be on the on the thing so it's it's very interesting so you just got to do it more and just keep on doing it and like no but he's been great every time he's seen me like both times he came up after my set and he's like dude yeah that's fucking awesome like that was great but like so it's just it's it's like a it's like a ringer thing that they they put you through but like I guess just to vet out and I guess it's because like there's a lot of I don't mean to be mean but like the quality of comics in New York versus Austin right now is very different. Because Austin's kind of a newer scene.

So anyone thinks Austin's competing with a New York or L.A. It's just, it would be like saying Atlanta is just as good as Hollywood when it comes to actors. It's like, well, I know there's a stream in Atlanta and they're newer. They'll get there. They ain't L.A. It's just L.A.'s been around a hundred-fucking years. Well, definitely New York has got Mon.

New York, you'll see someone who you've never heard of, bury someone who's your favorite comedian on a regular basis. Incredible. Like, people who I would never. say names, but people who are big acts come in and just get buried by someone who doesn't, has a thousand followers on social media. It's always been that way. Always. Like the New York comments that we've been better than L.A. comics, they just were bad at marketing. Yeah. They like that's where I, I came up in New York so the bar were so high, you know, with guys like

Louis C.K. and fucking David Tell and you name it that Dave, uh, Dave Chappelle. I was doing shows in New York with where Dave would be up, you know, he was already great by then. This is 30. Three years ago, Dave Chappelle was great then. We could all stop and watch. But I did plenty of shows with him on the same venue. But I think it's ridiculous to compare Austin to... Because Austin is like, I feel like that's so new. Austin's the new emerging scene where like people...

Yeah, it's definitely getting there. Because some of the beasts like fucking Brian fucking guys like, uh, what's his name? Rogan, yeah, Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis. Ron White. Watching Ron White is like watching someone like... At 70 years old. Yeah.

He's incredible. It's like watching an artist. like actually like watching them paint in front of you because you're like watching them do callbacks in a 15 minute set three callbacks and you're just like this is insane i'm too old to even care about this but i did a set and i brought ron on and as he came on we're at the mothership he looks at me he goes that thing you said about buying a different kind of sad cracked me up and i was like hey man i'll take that compliment uh cool i was like that's pretty cool i'm just got off he's he's like my favorite right now i do feel like this will be this is the new

up and come because L.A. is kind of not where New York is, you know. They'll get, they'll get up, they'll bounce back. But like, they do have guys like Jeff Dye and stuff like that that are still killing it out there. Jeff Dive here. Did he? Did he? Really? Yeah, and the go-finding me didn't help him. That was a joke. Was it? Yeah, that was a joke. I didn't know what happened

with that. I was like, it was a clumsy mess. It was horrible. Climsy joke. I love Jeff. You know, I was like, what are you doing? Yeah. No, I met him. Are you introduced me to him the other day. He was great. Jeff's awesome. He's such a good guy. man yeah and funny as fuck yeah he went up and murdered in there murder that's a monster yeah that's i will say that club is built so well for stand-up like i've never seen a club built better for stand-up mother'ship yeah yeah it's built by rogan and you know who had a huge

significant as louis k did he yeah he yeah rogan had it set up like this and louis came in was like no no you know do this change this changes put the seats here change the ceiling like this yeah yeah while they were building it came in kind of was like nope do this yeah yeah so yeah it's like comics like real comics yeah it's a it's beautiful that main room life is good when you're in fat boy well i've been doing some of those like i'm doing those two bottom of the barrel shows tonight in the small room and i fucking love that's like a new york like if you if anyone gets a chance to go even just see a show in the little room it's great little bit it's like going little boy yeah little boy it's like doing like it's like going to like a comedy it's like the belly room and it's actually

like the the main room in the at the comedy so it's like the oh wow it's like a low ceiling and it's cool tight everyone's up close it's almost exactly like the o'clock i think that rogan built it after the oar yeah yeah it's right it's honestly in one of those rooms like if you bomb in that room it's like back in the day back in the day 2019 2017 18 19 20 Tuesday night sam tripley show comedy chaos comedy chaos was murderers dude that was back when you were really funny that's right back when i felt super funny bro for the patreon listeners we got a pretty special guest we got a special guest we're talking about james bishara creator of magic mind they're having an insane black friday sale 58% off their mental performance shots and you also get

a pre-supply of their sleep shots this is the biggest sale they've ever run i did a whole thing with a bunch of comics with for magic mind they i've gotten texts they love it right wanting more it's the real deal at magicmind especially the max your boy i was on coffee adderall i'm i don't touch any that stuff I do a half cup of coffee. Magic Mine, your boy is locked. And they got sleep shot at night. Yes, go to MagicMind.com. 58% off.

It's their biggest sale ever. It's Magic Mine. Get you some. You were killing it back then. I remember seeing you because that was one of the first times I saw you. I came from New York and saw you just absolutely ripping and just being, you were doing some like horseback fucking. I'm back to all that shit.

Yeah. I love seeing that because that's the fucking Brian that I used to see him back. That's a fucking killer. Yeah. That's what we did this weekend, this past weekend. Oh, this weekend was sick. Silly Brian's the best. Silly Brian is my favorite.

Silly Brian's what we want. That Saturday crowd, those Saturday crowds? Sli Brian slapping his dick. That's what we want. That's what I'm at. Well, I'm back to that with stand-up. It's been great. I think you needed that.

You're not coming to wise guys this weekend. No, I'm bringing my girl for the first time to the Bronx to meet my family. Oh, you guys are in serious, bro. How old are you? I'm 36. Yeah, it's time to get going. What's that? Yeah, I didn't know you're 36.

Yeah, it's a go time. Yeah, I'm just, I'm taking peptides and aging very well. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you look, I thought you're young as well. You're doing the glow, aren't you? Taking glow. Yeah, it looks maxing. What is glow?

It has this GHCCU peptide and BPC and TB 500. So it heals all like the actual skin flaws you have and the actual, like the other stuff. Really? Helps with the collagen, got through the fine lines and all that. Some people inject, it won't help you, but some people. You're so far gone. Yeah, but I know people that will inject it straight into their face. What?

Yeah, people do that. I do right in the stomach. I'm not doing that. So you know about the glow. yeah man dude you got to start looks maxing yeah i got to start looks maxing dude you do should i start looks maxing could you imagine brian gets a fucking turkish haircut he goes to turkey gets the hair done starts injecting glow dude as soon as my alamilis over in about 20 years i'm going to do that as soon as what's over my alimony yeah here's the thing that'll look great when you're 80 years old

of the brand new haircut that won't be creepy at all having a pony joke yeah i gotta do that All right, what do you got first, Chin? Do you guys want to start off with, by the way, I don't think we... Yeah, but I don't think you guys formally introduced Nick yet. Oh, we'll do an intro at the beginning too, but... Nick Simmons, great comic. Buddy of ours. We've been doing the road for a long time.

And he's been great, man. Helps out with a ton of stuff. Yeah, Nick's a lot of time. I saw Nick in L.A. And I was like, this motherfucker's a monster. I was like, who's this muscle man crushing a room. That's what did it. There's the body.

Crushing. You would never shut a word to me. Fucking crushing a room. Like, you know. know and that was during the pandemic where we were yeah that's why rogan saw you rogan was like that guy's funny man and i was like this guy's a fucking so chop so i'll i'll say this i had to come to brian and i was like because you told me this this is what sparked this you told me i was listening to you you were shadow boxing as you usually do and uh you were telling someone i don't

look at the comments and uh never have never have i said to you man i was like that's a bit we're living in a world where that's like going on stage telling a joke and not listening to what the audience says you got to listen to the audience you know what i mean and like there's a there's a reddit i like to hate that up never even been on reddit you know my thing with reddit is they've said so much hurtful stuff where it's like it's not that i don't know it's there it's just usually from what i know what people send me. It's just so evil and toxic and like come from my family. So my thing, as soon as I hear, I'm like, nope. But then you were like, no, dude, there's a lot of really funny shit on there sometimes. Like, like, not everybody hates you guys. Like, they have fun. I think we should

lean into a lot of them. There's honestly, like, there's a couple people who are shitty, you know, but then there's a lot of people who just go on there and post funny shows. So I was like, let me get some of the funniest shit that I've seen on there. And I want you guys to actually see what these guys post. Because it's actually pretty funny. All right. It's a good idea. Holy sudden hurt our feelings. Did you send this to Jen? I sent this to Jen. So this is from Red, this is a, it says point of view, oh boy, point of view,

Brennan Schott finally breaks in the comedy mothership. All right. Yeah. It's me, Austin. It's me, Austin. It's me, Austin. Look at your god You all want to put wine in paper

Dude, I want to post this. Look at Shane Every damn one of you were made food to teach you a lot of it. Dude. That's fucking genius, man. That's so good. Some of them are really fucking funny.

That's so good. Well, I think it comes from, too, is like there's a whole narrative that, like, Rogan ban me from the mothership and all that shit. Yeah. That's so fucking funny. Yeah. Well, that's like those. Joe calls Brennan. You're banned.

Yeah. Can you imagine? Well, that's just those, those are the YouTube guys. told you about like they make like they make content like this is a south african guy his channel's podcast cringe and i'll be on the road with you and he'll make such a he like everything he's saying is wrong but he'll say something about you and i'll be like maybe brian is a pussy he's just so convincing like some of the lot like he does like someone have skills that's the thing i'm like god if you use the south african guy's really good like he has he basically just makes like his own

narrative of like what's going on he'll be like Brian and Brendan hate each other and they're breaking up Brian's been ready to leave for a long time yeah well you do say that sometimes I look like I'm literally well I'd tell you I'm like this yeah because I had I had I'm waiting for a bus yeah you guys had me cut a thumbnail for you and I had to go through the whole thing and you guys look like two guys don't seem into it yeah that's what they're noticed you guys look like two guys who kind of know each other waiting for the same bus yeah and that's why we got to angle the chair so we're looking at yeah because like that that between that and the interrupting and stuff like that that's like the only thing that like that's the one thing that

people get annoyed by yeah understandable yeah that's fucking hilarious show us another one that's so good one this is something that's like brian needs to address okay either way i'm just going to warn you now don't fucking bully me i'll show up right to your house i'll show up at your fucking house bang bang bang bang it's really come you're doing me on roken dude i know what you're fucking doing i don't give a fuck about your usc shit i don't give a shit about your ufc bullshit well that's what i used to be like now i'm not that way yeah but you guys know that was a bit and rogan cut me off the world thinks that you are being very serious with me and rogan being told okay so hold on let's examine this i looked at brandon and

goes i go i don't give a shit about your ucc shit clearly a joke you think yeah what do we always do that the whole point was so what happened joke by the way by the way by the way I think that was the episode where I go, it's Rough House Sunday, dude. And you took your watch off and chased me around the pool table. Oh, and Rogan got mad because he picked up his favorite pool cue. So you got to understand. And Ryan started using it like a sword.

Because Roden goes, whoa, whoa, what the fuck are you doing? And we're like, what? Like two little kids, he goes, that's like a thousand dollar pool. Yeah, and Rogan goes, that's toxic. I'm like, hey, I was going into a bit, which was I'll show up your house and I'll show up your house, motherfucker. And I was about to do a whole thing on him. I was like, you know, you think I'd give a shit right?

You don't see stuff? I think what White comes off is Brian Sears is because Rogan interrupted him, thought he was serious. And that's what said, Brian, Brian's like, whoa, what the fuck? And then the bit was lost and I was like, yeah, then it was move on. So he didn't think you were, so Joe didn't think you were joking. No, he thought he was serious because Brian always fucks around.

Do you, but wait, let's back up. Let's just back up. Dude, that gets hilarious. Does anybody, he's so funny? Does anybody think for a second that I looked at Brendan and I went, I don't give a fuck about you and I was serious? do you like the whole world

I know about fighting I know enough about fighting to know how tough I'm not I'll show up at your house I was notice how I turned to him and we were about to do a bit because before that that's what we do

I came up to him and I started fucking with him because he was dressed he was like kind of hanging out and I think I slapped your face you didn't do anything then I go I go and I pushed you

you and you were trying to talk to me and I poked your dick yeah and then you go hey and I go it's rough house Sunday bro or whatever out of it, I think.

And then you got mad because I slapped your face again. And then he took his Rolex watch off. And I go, no, no, no, okay. And then he fucking grabbed me and gave me a good squeezing. I got a good squeeze up. But if that's out of context, you can see how the fan base is like, hold on, Brian actually thinks he's a tough guy, you know? There's a lot of people who really think that you think that you're like a bad

motherfucker. Guys, it's so, it's, I do have a, I do have a temper. Brian has an awful. I have a very bad temper. And I will, I will, I will, I will fight you. because I have that kind of temper. But that's hilarious. The fact that people think that I was saying,

I don't give a shit about your UFC stuff. That's hilarious. Come on. Come on. That you had to address because everyone thinks in the world that you. That Matan kid doing that is so funny. Do they really think I was serious? Yeah.

Yeah, we all did. There's actually like a thing. You didn't know. No, I'm just kidding. Like on that video on TikTok, it says Brian, like you could click a clickable thing of Brian Callin thinks he's tough. It's a bunch of, But it's probably a bunch of you fucking around.

Yeah. But you can cut the narrative like you think. But that's, that's what I'm glad you finally cleared it up. But it's adorable. You think that we had, you guys are adorable. You're adorable.

It's also hilarious. But maybe they don't know, they don't know. Of course they don't do. It's all good. Rogan cuts me off and he's taking it seriously, which thanks, Joe.

Well, Rogan took it to another notch because he made it serious. Because you were about to get into the silliness, but he stopped the silliness. So then it looks like you. you and I are serious. Yeah, that's what I would do. Hey, I don't give a shit about your USC shit.

That'd be so funny. And I don't say anything. I'm like, what? You think I would just sit by me like, okay. To be fair, I have gotten in your face when I've been really mad about stuff, but not, but it was only because I'm, yeah, there's been times I'm like, buddy, there's been time like you, you, you have stopped talking me like that.

And sometimes you need that. Do I? Yeah. Sometimes you need that. Really? Yeah. And what are you going to do? He's going to come to your house and go bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

What is? What is. You're a sea shit? Hey, bang, bang, bang on the door. I don't know what I was saying there. That's a classic example. Like, do you understand? I went bang, bang, bang, bang.

Do you know what that's from? That's my buddy, Jimmy Burke and I would go, you fucking idiots. That's what we would go. I come over and I just go bang, bang, bang, bang. That's what I'm doing there. I'm not. Do you think I am not the guy who's going to say that? I don't say when I'm threatening somebody,

I'm not going to go, dude, I'll come to your house and all bang bang bang like what do you dude i didn't say it don't come to my house and say bang bang we're not saying that's so funny with reddit on this dude you need to calm down guys i'm a good guy and i'm not that guy unless you push me it's a fun narrative though you can see why they do it it's fun i think it's great i almost it's funny too because i know you from i've known brian for three years and him never being a tough guy at all it's mostly you admiring tough men. Correct.

I'm gay. Like, what are you talking about? The guy, my wife is like, my wife is always like, if you can find, if you can find the biggest guy in the room, if anytime it's a big muscular guy, Brian's over there. Yeah, just go to the, you know, my gay husband. My only thing that I will say that Brian does do that's toxic is Brian is the worst at giving introductions to you to anybody. Like, you, your introductions to people.

Like, this is Nicky Benches 200. Yeah. Like, one time we were in the, we were in the, we were in the, green room. And this is the funniest thing I've ever seen. I had to tell my girl this is the introduction I've ever had. You go, hey, this is my friend. His whole family's dead. They died in the car accident. And then you just left the room and me and we're just stuck in it. Did your family really? No, the guy, he like lost. Oh, that guy lost his twin. But that's how you introduced him. And I was like, hey. Did I say that? Everyone meet Mike. You lost both his

parents recently. We were probably talking about some stuff. And then I probably. So it's for pressure in your mind. This is Mike. Lost both parents two days ago. Have fun, bud. I'm so bad at stuff like that. Your way, your introduction's the worst. My friend one time was Palestinian and my other friend was Jewish and I introduced him. And I was just talking about. And I go, hey, guys, don't fight now.

And my buddy who's Jewish, good, don't ever do that again. It's so funny, though. That's funny. I was like, oh, guys, take it easy. Oh, yeah, that's nice. Come on. He's from Palestine. That's funny.

It's Jewish. Careful guys, careful. That's right. That's funny. What else you got, Chin? this is the last one this one this one oh dude

this is the funniest shit ever even the land mooning the what the land mooning the landing on the moon Jesus Christ all this diet coke I put it up my man moon

that's the diet coke that's the diet get off yeah dude I'm told you they have funny shit sometimes. That's funny. Dude, I'll do you this right now.

What are you trying to say? The land. The moon landing. There's certain words I struggle with. There's no doubt about that. But when, so that was probably my fourth show that week in two days. There's sometimes where my brain just well not work and I have to talk. So shit like that happens all the time.

Yeah. And they'll be like, oh, it's CT. I'm like, or I've just done six podcasts in three days. Yeah. And you had a real, you had a legit speech. speech impediment. I mean, yes and no, there's certain words I can't say. Well, no, but there's still certain words like that.

You can't say, you can't say wolf. Wolf? There you go. No, yeah, no, there's certain things that might be challenging for me to say. That's just poor public education. In all fairness, you did fight heavyweight in the UFC. The fact that you've been punching the head by heavy weights and you're still talking for a living. Yeah, I talked for a living.

Yeah, not bad. He played football from the age of six, tackle football until he was. 21 but all that being said i play football in high school and had fucking brain damage and i get words wrong you actually fought fucking but it but it also did in their defense too like anytime like a fighter or a football player fucked up a word which everybody does but i do it for a living anytime they go CT it's like or i'm just dumb or i'm just done listen when i was 12 without CT i still fuck things out yeah so it's easy to chalk up at CT i get it yeah i don't think you have any ct all bullshit is that. I like how careful

Rogan is about it. Because he posted, he sent something to the group chat and was like, do you check the CT and it was really bad? I go, shit, I'm three years away from that. And he'll be like, absolutely not. You're doing great. I'm like, okay. Whatever you say, man. You are, though. You are. No, but it's it was time you guys finally

addressed. I think, I think we do that all the time. I just react to the best. I think we do that more, yeah. Yeah. That's great. Those are fucking funny. That's just funny. Dude, that was fun. I'm, because people think that you like I've even said this you before I'm like you come on this podcast it's a comedy podcast

and you're taking yourself too fucking seriously like no one I've never had a problem with you know what I mean I agree I just don't yeah I just don't go on there but you know you don't know how you don't know how to post an Instagram story by yourself you know I had to post Instagram stories for him because he had no idea I I I do but I with that Reddit thing like I of course I notice them of course I see it I know it's a thing but especially like when Brian was going to stuff or Chris or if I'm going through stuff, it can get like the nasty ones come out. Sure.

Then that's when I'm like, oh, I'm out. Yeah. But if it's more like that, yeah, let's do it. Most of it's like that, to be honest at you. Who's this South African guy's got a, did he hate on my special too? Everybody's hating on my special. I think he probably did. I mean, he had to.

Oh, he did he? Yeah, yeah. Of course. Why? It's a good special. Brian goes, everyone's hating on my special. That's how it goes. No, he just basically, he sees what's going on in the world creates like what

he thinks people. And he makes like probably over a million dollars a year on his YouTube channel. It's a business. Just going bad on people. Yeah. But he's good. But he does it to not only by like Bert Kreischer. He goes on Bert, Joe, Tom. But he's good. Yeah. What he does. Yeah. There's a bunch of like like shittier ones. Like the guy who has like the weird voice. I don't remember his name. But there's like those ones suck. But the podcast that that that guy that does that one that South African like he could make a like he's making a like he makes a fucking look. I know. So it's hard to argue with. them. Yeah, yeah. He watches the podcast and just goes bad. It's just, no one knows what his face looks.

He takes clips and then creates a narrative. Yeah, but I like, I, I, I, I appreciate because it's satire and he's fucking with people. Yeah. And, and I think that there's always something, that's a whole, he's like, he's like, star, remember Star magazine? Like, you'd be walking to pay for your groceries and that'd be like Bat Boy. You know, like, they would just make up a fucking, like, inquire. That's its own entertainment. That's its own kind of like, it's own universe. Yeah. There's a lane for it clearly and they're making money. There's also nothing you're going to do like it's it's just part you either got to accept it if you're good at that if you're good at that i can't wait till the day i'm known enough for him to fucking talk to it about me that's like

yeah i don't give a fuck that was my whole thing when they hate on me i'm like i get it i guess but also there's so much more money if you hate on like Logan paul or jake like there's so much more famous but i guess they probably have enough guys doing that yeah that so we're more that hey channels that's a saturated at this point now that i don't know let's find someone they found it's amazing how many people that are super successful have crazy amounts of but they just had a thing on of how many like bots

yeah how many foreign not foreign actors are you talking about on X? You're talking about X? Ah yeah X but also also also on YouTube no yeah I promise they just see I think this is a narrative and I wish it were true where it's like

oh all this is faking spots there's a lot of haters there's a ton of haters but I'm saying like when people are sewing discord they'll find it they'll take aside right so black lives matter and all that but it's way more prevalent they thought so uh with the whole gaza is real see but the political issues yes

bots but when it comes to individuals i think celebrities we're not celebrities but i think celebrities are like man a lot of it's fake it's like it's not though but did you see on x a lot of a lot of these maga accounts like somewhere from eastern europe somewhere from like bangladesh like all these random countries and they're like these like pro-america accounts that are like riling people yeah america first like riling people up the political stuff yes our country's changing and this and that but it's like some guy from like belarus yeah he's in like india you're like what yeah so there's definitely money i mean it's people make money on hate farming you know what i mean of course and if you could do that with politics you're making a ton of money way more money than comics way more money that's

oh yeah part of the game yeah yeah you guys want some or show the film okay hell yeah let's take a break here, dude. What am I wearing? True Classic, the one and only. They have everything. We've been with our boy, Ryan, at True Classic from the very start. This dude's killing it. They're available now on Target, Costco, which is insane. They're in the UFC. They're all over. Before they were big, we were rocking them. Anytime you see me in an all-white tea, joggers, hoodies, sweatshirts, button-ups, chinos, they have everything you need for essentials. They are the very best you can get at a fraction of the price of other brands. It's True Classic. we've been with them since day one true classic is built for comfort built to last built to give

back so you can grab them again at target ever heard of it costco or just go to trueclassic dot com slash fighter and get hooked up today true classic the best i think we're good my son's had a movie and text me dad call me i'm like you are right but he's like yeah is you see in the new predator movie because it sucked no what do you see i don't know what he saw dad he saw the new drastic park last night i was telling brian don't see the new predator movie it's they ruined the predator of course i could tell oh no i said when the female predator but remember when we're kids predator was so badass but i saw some of the well we're similar this this new one came out and like the predator has no has like braids they all braids but this new one uh because the predator

is supposed to be this badass that like Arnold Schwarzenegger and all the like it's so sleek and like you know, it's an unstoppable cool, like there's no talking. This new one, it starts off and spoiler, it starts off with a predator who's trying to impress his dad, but he's the brother that can never impress his father. I'm out. I'm out. And then his

brother... There's a family dynamic? It's almost like punk rock, like my dad doesn't understand me. Oh, no. And then like he, his brother dies to try and protect him because his dad wanted to kill him because he's the weak predator. So he goes off to another planet to prove his dad wrong. I'm out. And then

he gets there and the whole movie is about the friends he meets along the way. I'm like, what the fuck? And he's just getting bamboozled all the time. The predator is not supposed to get bamboozled. No, no. I'm out. It's really weird. I'm out. They Disneyified Predator. I'm out. Thank you for that.

What's this, Jen? Oh, this is a video of Hamzot and John Jones Wrestling. I sent to our group chat. I didn't see it. Dude, he, and John gave him credit. He's like, yeah, dude. Like, he took me a legit takedown. Let me see. John and Hamzak Chimaya. John responded to, he goes, yeah, legit takedown.

John's been in Chechnya. Put him in the octagon. John bought a house in Chechnya. What? Yeah. He bought property there. That's him with Kedarov. Kadirov, Kadirov.

Holding hands too. I don't know if you guys have already seen it, but did you see the video of John with Hasbola? When he thinks his little kid, right? No, when John's sweatpants, the sweatpants incident? No. Oh. Is it on?

It's online, yeah. Just type in John Jones, Hasbula. What do you sweat? Like, his big dick hits him in the face of him? You got to see it. The first one here, so it's Chuck. No, it's John Jones. He's on a couch, and Hasbo's messing with him.

Type in John Jones, couch. Bona. Hasbola. Is this AI? Here, it says way too excited. There's no audio, right? Watch when they show it.

Oh, shit. But you might just have a big, well... No, that's a... You know, why's he rocked up? He's bricked. Yeah, he's bricked up, don't know. He's bricked up here. In all fairness, Hasbilt is 25 years old.

This is okay, kind of. Yeah. Wow, that's very strange. He is bricked up. Rather, that is rather... You might just have one of those big dicks that it kind of folded, you know? I'm trying to help him out here.

I don't know. That's very strength. Typically, I wish I didn't see that. Your big dick isn't rock hard. Yeah, but no, but you know how it's so big where it's folded so it sticks out? Unless his girl just got off his dick, that's a strange. No, he's excited.

You know what it could be too? He might not be wearing enemies. Oh, no, it's his leg. What? No, it's definitely not. That's not a leg. He's wearing a dick, Brad. That's his, you know,

there's something there. That is very strange. But you know what could be too is he's not wearing undies and then just a slight breeze, just a ruffling against your cock. He's got them all jingled up. He's all fricked the fuck up. Straight up, dude. So I don't know what's going on there. Wow, I had no idea that exists in this world. First, the Reddit videos, now John Jones bricked up playing with a small man. Asboy gets a lot of fucking, first he's getting kissed by Mike Tyson on the neck, then he sees John Jones boner. Mike Tyson is funny. We thought he was actual little

kid. Uh-huh. He just didn't. Also, what are you going to do? If Mike Tyson starts kissing your neck, what are you going to do about it? I'm going to, I'm going to wait till it's over. I'm going to wait till he's going to swallow his cock. That's like Shane, that's like Shane, what's his name? Carwin. Carwin. I was like, man, I don't know what I'd do against you.

If you were my prison, sell me, he goes, you suck my cock. I didn't even know him. So your first day you met. What else you had, Tim? Here's a highlight, really of him. I find it very weird the way people treat Asboa. He must like it, though, because he keeps coming around. Do you think so?

He must be rich as fuck, yeah? Now, yeah. He's everywhere. Yeah. You saw him with the DoorDash bag at the last UFC, getting DoorDash sponsorships? This is a very strange. It's a tough life, though, man. That's a strange video.

He might be bawling, but that's a tough go. Yeah. Is it, I have to ask, because I don't know if you've seen that girl from Long Island, she has that her own reality show where she looks 11 years old but she's actually in her 20s and trying to date and she's going on dates with like full grown men on tLC on tlc bro that's like the similar situation if someone dates has but that's of age it just looks yeah you're talking about somebody who has latent well especially the guys that are dating that girl she looks 11 but she's really 24 like but something's up buddy in all fairness that's a that's the best situation for a

100% yeah there's not a ton of them though yeah yeah this is interesting so brett heart so the the subject is brett heart says sean michael's and viz mcmann were lovers bretthart is the biggest hater by the way brett hart yeah i was a big fan as a kid yeah with all with all in all fairness brett heart like when he lost the championship like and it was taken from him like it's like it's all it's all fake dude Well, no, the fake part was supposed to be. He wasn't supposed to actually give it up, but they actually got everybody in on it. And he's still complaining about it to this day. Yeah, dude. Like, he never stops complaining. He's the bullshit here.

You think he's, Sean Michaels and Vic's McMahon or? I think it's, I think it's, I don't know. The Big Man's a wild bull. I think it's complete bullshit, but I have to do it anything with Sean Michaels. I mean, maybe. I don't know, the way he was. Let's see what he says. I think it's bullshit, but I love it.

I think that Sean and Vince were sleeping with each other. I'm just telling you, I think I'm very close to the truth here. Sean and Vince were lovers, and that's why I'm not, I'm being dead honest. And I'm telling you, they, and I just, when I look back, it's like, I got caught between two lovers. You know, and I got shafted and screwed over. and Sean was so envious and jealous of my position that he finally had to sleep with Vince to get it. I tell you, I say all this with absolute,

I would say it to Sean if he was right here. I would actually like to have Sean come clean and say, look, we were lovers. You know, WWF. I think he's the biggest hater of all time. But it's the greatest. I like these, like, really, I just believe that there are lovers. Like he spent the last 20 years talking about how much he

He can't let go Bill Goldberg ruined his life That's all he talks about He can't let it go Never could let anything go He's just a fucking scrooge He doesn't look that happy I met him in Calgary

How was he? Awesome Was he? Yeah it's cool He came in sweats, whatever Yeah he came to Where was it up Yuck Yuck's in Calgary

Yeah And his family like runs Calgary Yeah Like the heart family Yeah they're all in Calgary I bet he's a nice guy Seems like a smart guy He's there yeah he's cool

yeah i think he's got a sense of humor like that that's him being funny that's fun i don't think so i think he no he's he's being silly there he that he's a great troll it's it's genius yeah it's i don't know much about professional wrestling but he was a legend huh like i yeah but part of that's technical one of the best wrestling right but also his personality right he was a showman yeah i mean him and chris benoit are some of the best technical wrestlers of all time chris benoit he not really he like too much more about but he was known as one he doesn't know what happened to him he murdered his whole family oh right you didn't hear about that yeah yeah man bud god it's terrible yeah he's very technical though yeah technically a good wrestler but brad hart's like known for

the most technical really yeah the whole heart family i mean what a they all came up that's why they they literally have like a compound in calgary it's like the heart compound wrestling company they've all kind of gotten pretty fucked over by the w w if you really think about that's why he's upset like he's gotten fucked over his brother died died in the ring and then they just kept the rest of fell that was his fuck that was his brother yeah but i don't know anything i saw that damn yeah and they kept the right like even after his brother died they just like moved the body and kept the rest of the night he said the show must go on i saw that i saw that so i feel like he does have you kind of give him gotta give him a little something's like all right you know what maybe and him be in him being like

and him being like vince mcman and john michael were fucking you're like all right that's fair yeah if that's true or not yeah you know like i think one of the things about being like so a friend of mine wrote a really interesting Instagram thing. He started a business. He's got, he's an entrepreneur. And he was talking about how the reason he started his business as an entrepreneur is because his father worked, he was a company man. His father was a company man.

His father worked his ass off his whole life. Just worked, you know, all through everything, just hours a day and gave his life to this company. And his father died. And the afternoon, his father died, he was replaced. And because that's how it is when you're a company man. you're totally expendable. And Brett Hart was expendable

because he was working for Vince McMahon. He was a wrestler. And if you're a fighter in the UFC, whoever you are. No, any job. Any job. Even comics. The world doesn't stop turning.

The world doesn't stop. Maybe your family's sad to remember you. But in general, when people talk about dynasty and legacy, but the world just keeps spinning. Of course it does. And then your kids remember you. And hopefully their kids remember you.

And then after that, you're an afterthought. That's right. Unless you're like a president or you have a statue up at fucking the Eagle Stadium. Outside that, the world keeps fucking tournament. Especially with entertainment. You got to know when to get out at the right time too. Because how many sports athletes like you talk about like people to this day don't think

Fador, they don't talk about Fador being one of the greatest. Just because like he stuck around for too long, got beat a couple times. It's also a younger fan base who during COVID they jumped on the sport is the only sport. So they don't know the history of Conner. All they know is Connor of being this wild boy, you know, doing all this shit. There's almost like BC and AD when Connor McGregor became a thing, everything before that, people know about GSP, but they don't really understand how much of a B.J. Penn was or Matt Hughes was or Randy Couture, Chuck Ladell. Like, they don't even look at them as like, because

like, oh, they're like, oh, back then they, they were fighting mailmen, you know, but like. Before Connor. Yeah. And everything's after that. Yeah, they talk about the same way like kids today talk about Michael Jordan is not that good and nowhere near little. Ron James. But, like, yeah, he played against mailmen and she like that. It's like, it's just a different, you can't compare those two things. They just don't know. It's like my son, he kept when they're in Dallas at that tournament, he was like, yeah, I Moss that kid. Yeah, I Moss that kid. All the kids were like, yeah, you Moss that kid. What is Moss? Well, so, so, and then T's like, wait, dad, what's Moss? I'm like, hold on, gather around kids. Nobody knows who Randy Moss is.

They're like, no, no fucking way. And I'm like, why would they? So I went on YouTube. doing like Randy Moss highlights. It's like, this is why they call it mossing. Like, oh, we thought it was like moss on a rock. I'm like, well, you're fucking stupid, right? Kids. In all fairness, kids make up some goofy shit. Like, you heard the phrase six, seven.

Oh, yeah. Your kids do it. They go, they do this. Six, seven. What is that? And when I'm driving on a highway, they're like, dad, you're at 67. I don't give up five. It means nothing.

It means nothing. But they just do it. It's just trendy. What else you got, Jen? All right. This is an Alaska Airlines pilot that was sitting in a jump seat in the cockpit. So, but he's not flying. He's just sitting there.

And then he freaked out and tried to turn on these things that shut the engines off because he thought something was happening to the plane. Turns out he did mushrooms like a few days before, right? And it just kicked in bad after that. He said a judge sentenced him to time served. The former pilot for Alaska Airlines was accused of trying to crash a flight after he had taken psychedelic mushrooms. It's 30 seconds of my life. I wish you could change and I can't. In October, 23, he was riding in the jump seat off duty on a flight from Everett Washington to San Francisco when he says he began to hallucinate.

There was a feeling of being trapped. This is not real. I need to wake up. He stood up in the cockpit and pulled these red handles, which are meant to shut off. the engines in the case of a fire. But it didn't work. The flight landed safely and Emerson was let off the plane in cuffs. Later charged with 83 counts of attempted murder, one for each person on board. Two days earlier, he says he took mushrooms for the first time to cope with depression. He says he never sought treatment fearing it would end his career. There's a perception out there that if you raise your hand and say something's not right, there's a very real possibility that you don't fly again. Prosecutors pushed for a one-year prison

sentence. But lawyers say Emerson was not aware that he has a rare condition making the effects of psychedelic drugs last for days instead of hours. And the pilot who helped remove him from the cockpit asked the judge not to send Emerson to prison. Morning, it could discourage other pilots from seeking

medical help. The judge agreed saying, pilots are not perfect. They are human. While noting that Emerson... Now, bitch, they've got to be perfect. You're flying a goddamn plane with 400 people and suck my dick. We also aren't supposed to be on mushrooms. Yeah, bitch. well again he did a few days before but he has that condition still can't be a pilot oh I'm sorry can

by the way I said look at my eyes when did you do mushrooms days ago they have bullshit or did you do it like couple hours ago yeah I'm not buying that anyway he's not a bad guy he fucked up you just can't be a pilot can't be fucking flying me to Dallas we can't have it no I expect my pilots be pretty perfect I don't want someone high in the jump seat in the fucking car no I don't need you doing shrooms and question your life while you're flying me my family my buddy my buddy my buddy Jeremy was talking about doing this guy was doing blow all night they called him mr white just an all white doing blow they're in there on some island they're you know and i don't know bermuda or whatever and his girls are around they're all hanging out and finally it's like four in the

morning he's my boy's got to get up and he's flying like on this private jet out or a small jet you know to get the fuck off of bermuda and he's got to get back to l.A and it's like the last thing he sees is this guy going come on dude i got more blow but he doesn't do blow he's like no i'm good he had a couple of drinks he's leaving and the guy's like all right man you're fucking barn and girls let's get and they're just doing blow off a little tiny spoon this guy mr white so my buddy gets on his plane he's fucking dying it's like three hours he's got three hours of sleep gets on his plane and he pulls the seat back and just goes out man he's going to sleep and he wakes up after about an hour two hours and he's like fuck and he's looking

and out of the cockpit comes mr white the guy who was doing the blow there's his pilot And he goes into the bathroom, pisses and comes back out. And my buddy just looks at him and he looks at him and he's like, oh shit. He's like, you're flying my fucking plane, dude. You didn't even go to sleep. You're still high.

Yeah. True story. Yeah, it's scary. You remember that one actual commercial pilot that crashed into a, like a mountain or whatever because he was depressed and he killed everyone aboard? Yeah. That's just scares the shit out of me. That's like if you're depressed, how about not murdering.

Exactly. right why you're taking out of everybody else just stop flying no we need happy thought some people are out of their minds oh this one's crazy too this is crazy yeah proz mitchell from the fujis he's sentenced to 14 years in prison for illegal money donations to the Barack Obama's a presidential campaign yeah 2012 because the person he got it from was from Malaysia so as a foreign national and that's illegal to do damn so that I looked into it was like then shouldn't Obama be you know obviously in trouble is all but they're like there's no way to prove so the president doesn't know yeah that's what

they're saying so they give the money doesn't know doesn't know my ass yeah that's what I'm thinking wait so what is what what it took a legal funding he was raising money he was raising money for Obama but he got money from a foreign national so he found a very wealthy uh Malaysian guy the reason you have a problem with that is because then the Malaysian guy's buying into the administration it's just it's against campaign financials does it seem a little excessive 14 years? Aren't there some real criminals out there? But they have to make an example and all that.

But I agree, that's crazy. That's crazy to be sentenced to 14 years. He'll probably do, I don't know, but that's a lot. That's a federal crime. So usually you have to do 85% of your fucking 10. He's doing at least 10. 10 years. That's a long time for, I would give him.

That's a long time for a white collar crime. I'd give the guy a year. I think that's way too long. Two good years. A year. Just give me a year. That's a long time. I give him six months.

You and I would be the worst. Six months a long time. Six months in prison, dude? For sending money to Obama? I give him six months. I'm that guy. I'm not putting you away for 14 years. I mean, if you do a real...

If you're doing a real crime or you hurt a kid, I think you should be shot in the fucking face. It's kind of a victimless time. The second year is because it was going to Obama. Yeah. It's a victimless crime. You know what? Now it's Obama.

Give him 10 years. What do you got, Jen? This is kind of infuriating. This is kind of infuriating. this woman was in a burning apartment building and then these firefighters are trying to save her but she's she's refusing she's freaking out and this is in japan

so there goes one firefighter did she just kick them off yeah she kicked them off what's it matter with you girl eggs. Oh, because she's so afraid she's going to fall or something. She's holding on. Yeah, what about the fire?

She's kicking off the firefighter. Well, she's in panic mode. She's in, she's totally, that guy just fell. Yeah, but there's firefighters with a ladder to help her out. What? I will say that is the flimsyest fire ladder I've ever seen. What a, that's like a home depo.

Asian people though. Boom, bitch. All right, we try to helping you. Still want your

eggs? Oh shit. It wasn't that high by the way. Yeah, that's another thing too. It wasn't high.

It's like a story. Hey, she might have been like, I got this. Back up. I got it. I got it. Yeah,

she's fine. Oh, this is pretty crazy too. So this guy, you know, when you're playing soccer, there's a way to kick your ball in. And this guy wanted to do a trick.

oh yeah damn bro that a stinger that's a stinger that's what happened a tiger basically is there anything worse than trying to look cool

doing something and fucking making a fool yourself I bet his bros were like bro yeah typically you do that and you flip if you scorpion in front of everybody embarrassing that's got to suck

and no one asks you to do it well they do that a lot of guys do that and they throw the ball really far. Have you seen them do it? Oh, yeah. That's pretty cool. That was not cool.

No, that didn't work out. There's nothing more embarrassing. When your body scorpions, it's the most embarrassing position you can be in. It's horrible. Oh, this is the last one. So this. What about that Clint Eastwood thing? That was just a creepy weird one.

Oh, that's when he kissed the little girl. I remember. I remember that. So, wow, this was in a movie where he kisses her and it's so. It was off script, too. It wasn't in the play for me? I don't want me. is he still alive yeah he didn't it wasn't like that he's she saves his life in the movie i know

it's a movie oh no it's a movie ew well that's terrible what's just weird as hell yeah i remember this movie i saw in the movie theaters i remember it old enough and we were all like back then we're all like that's like what we thought can i just tell you how everybody thought of it back then creepy we all thought that he was this big handsome man this is how it fucked up it was back then and we were like the way it was presented in the movie thought lucky girl Lucky girl.

Like, in other words, like, of course he wasn't interested in her, but I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to give you a big celebrity. It's like a girl, an older woman who would kiss a boy, right? A lot. Right? But, but when it was reverse, it was like, I remember being, I remember this very well as a young, when I, wherever I saw it, find out the year that was. Said 71. You are old. So I saw that in Saudi Arabia probably when I was, I saw that, no, I saw that on video in Saudi Arabia probably when I was, I was 12.

and we used to have movies they would play movies at the compounds you know what was it like when color television came literally literally but we were all like was segregation weird well how did the water at the white fountain taste my mother remember seeing uh black and white water fountains in the south and being so mad because she couldn't drink for the black she was that they had their own water fountain yeah back then she was like what an out what the fucking get their own fountains now she realized how bad it was that's why it's so funny to me when liberals are like we need black spaces and blacks need their own we need safe black businesses and safe black neighbor and i'm like you mean like the same as like should there be a safe black

water fountain yeah so you want to go back or yeah it's crazy is that it chins sir yeah does nick have any uh any dates coming up or anything um yeah i'm gonna be at the riot comedy club in San Antonio January 30th and 31st. Sweet. And me and Nick, in fact, we'll be in... Yeah, I'll be with him the rest of that time.

Salt Lake City this weekend, guys, November 28th and 29th at Wise Guys. Come get some. And then we got in Naples, Florida, December 12, 13, 14th. You're coming to that, right? Yeah. That's going to be good.

Tampa, Florida, December 26, 27. Love Tampa. Side splitters. I think we have Dick on here a little more often. I think you come in and give us that ready break. down. I'm down. Yeah, dude, this is fun. You're right at the street. Yeah, too, please. Let's

figure this out, man. And then make sure you guys come out Tacoma and Spokane for New Year's because I am skipping out on doing fun New Year's shit to be there. Oh, that's right. Yes, come on out. We're going to be there. Mm-hmm. Tacoma, we got Tacoma, we got, Tacoma, Washington, December 31st, then Spokane, we got December, January 2. New Appleton. Come on down.

Not to pat ourselves on the back, but every city we go to, and this is people who actually come to the shows, you have me, Nick Callas, who's also a seller comic, and Brian, everybody that's come to the shows, they're always like, that's the best comedy show I've been. We put on a fucking six show. It's three headliners, like all that crush from top to bottom. There's no doubt. That's the one thing I'll say, like, this weekend in Plano, first of all, you're welcome because that was two hours of, literally two hours of uproarious laughter with

no breaks. It's fucking great. And I got to, I love going with you because I get to work on my new, that new 15 minutes that I'm doing. Crushed. Crushed. Love it, man. So if you guys like this show, you want to add free, go to patreon.com slash T-F-A-T-K.

For the Patreon fans, we're going to send the link to you tomorrow morning to get this, find the kid shirt. We got the Abbott-Kennie Fight Club shirts on there. A-A-Kinny Fight Club hoodies, hats. We got everything. It would be available to you guys first.

This is just for the Patreon. On Wednesday, you guys get free access right away. And then the rest will get it Thursday. But Wednesday, Patreon, just for you guys. But if you want to join the Patreon, go to patreon.com slash T-FATK. All shows are ad-free. You get extended episodes, 20, 30 minutes longer per month.

Bonus, all shop shows are on there ad-free. Fan questions at least once a month. Also, extra behind-the-scenes content. All this is just five bucks. That's it. Forget your Starbucks for one day and get on the Patreon. It's patreon.com slash T-FATK. That's it.

This is a fire kid with Nick. We're out. This November, action is free on Pluto TV. Go on the run with Jack Reacher. Every suspect was a train killer. Then buckle up for drive, World War Z. Happy human being we save. It's one of less fights.

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Pay never. Hey, guys, Michael Malice here. Be sure to check out my weekly podcast. You're welcome with Michael Malice, now on podcast. One, you might know me from my terrible Twitter, my horrible books, or the nonsense I spout on podcasts like Rogan and Glenn Beck. It's all there. Are you black-pilled or white-pilled for the future of the UK? What is a man?

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