The Fighter & The Kid - Who’s Actually the Smart One? | TFATK Ep. 1156

Episode Date: January 15, 2026

On this episode of The Fighter and The Kid, the guys talk jiu-jitsu, training culture, and why not all grappling hype adds up. The conversation moves into peptides, legitimacy in combat sports, and whether footage actually proves anything when it comes to skill.Things escalate when the crew puts themselves through a TFATK IQ test that quickly turns competitive, mixing logic questions, history, sports trivia, and ego. The episode also breaks down the Logan Paul vs Bradley Martyn fight situation, why the marketing worked, and what actually matters when trained athletes step into real combat scenarios.A classic TFATK episode filled with MMA talk, comedy arguments, and competitive energy. Get this episode and all future episodes AD FREE + 2 extended episodes, Fan Questions, exclusive behind the scenes content and more each month at https://www.patreon.com/tfatkProgressive - Visit progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save.O'Reilly Auto Parts- https://oreillyauto.com/FIGHTERTrue Classic - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at trueclassic.com/FIGHTER! #trueclassicpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Yes, we did, because we back at it again. It's the fighter and the kid. This is really the fighter and the kid. Come on, baby. Just talking about jujitsu, guys. You missed a riveting conversation about Delta Force and jujitsu and steroids. Peptides. Peptides.

Have you, Nick's interesting doing jujitsu. Yes. I mean, you're basically in the mech of jiu-jitsu now. Austin's like the mecca now. Yeah, but Nick needs a class that is taught at night because he can't, apparently 9.30 in the morning is way too early. It's too early to be rolling at that time. No, there's a bunch of night classes.

Is there? Yeah. You're in the mecca, right? I mean, Austin's the best. Dude, you know what it feels like? You ever seen the movie Karate Kid? I feel like Danny Laruso and he came to this new town thinking he's a tough guy and then you realize that everyone in this school knows karate.

You're like, what the fuck? You just could just walk down the street. If you were here 10 years ago, you would have been the guy. Yeah. But now there's a bunch of tough guys. I'm a wrestler, but like you walked down the street and you don't know who could head kick you. Have you ever done it? You've never done jih Tijuana?

Me and him did a private with Henry Aiken. Henry Aiken's. That was awesome. And it was fun. It was, those were the crazy part. That's the only time you've ever done it? Yeah, multiple times I, he like, we were rolling. I reversed him, got on his back and I, he was just, he's like, you could choke me.

You don't know what you do. Like, like, I've, no, even Brian who has some jiu jitza training, Henry Aikins was so good that, like, he let Brian lock. lock in a full rear naked choke as hard as he wanted. And he goes, let me know when you're ready. And he just went, just turned his head and just started having a full-blown conversation. He could do that. Yeah.

Same thing. Yeah. Any black belt could do that, fellas. Yeah. It's not like a magic trick. Yeah. Yeah. It just, I would love to learn that other side of grappling. Do it, dude. Because it's just like. I don't know why you don't. But you need to take a class. Like, don't do. What are you fucking moneyberg? You don't want to go one-on-one with Brian. You want to go to a proper class.

Dude, you've seen all sorts of, get a lot of looks. There's going to be other wrestlers in there, but they're also

going to teach you because we do a private, they're not teaching the basic. Yeah. Like, you guys are just

open rolling and shit. Do you think that guy Moneyberg's full of shit? I don't know. Here's my thing on that. I don't know. Nor do I give a fuck,

but we're, like I brought up to Gordon on Rogan. I'm like, come on buddy. Like, it's just not.

But Jake Shields said he's really good. There's just Jake Schild makes a lot of money from. But it's like- I think that's who said it. You know, you said that you don't trust peptides because there's not enough data. You can't trust him because there's no footage of Derek Moneyberg ever.

I just know that there's no data. I just know that no matter who you are, jiu-jitsu, you don't get good after three years. You could. There's freaks. Sure. Sure. I don't know if Moneyberg's the freak. But maybe we're all off and it's just he's this athletic freak.

We don't know his history. I don't think he's an athletic freak. But who knows? We don't know. But let's say. I do know. Yeah, and I saw him roll that one time with socks. I'm like, okay, well.

But, A, I really don't give a fuck. People are upset about him like, yeah, I'm not worried about that guy. But also, do whatever you want to do. But also, if you wanted to, like, shut everybody up, just put out some footage. Yeah. Yeah. Also, if you saw, I don't know if you've seen what he looked. Chan, if you have a picture of him, tell me he doesn't look like fat Connor McGregor.

Watch this. He's a big guy. It looks like. it looks like if everything went wrong in Connor McGregor's life. But I don't like making fun anybody who works hard at Jiu-Jitsu too. I have no problem with this guy. I don't know him, so I'm not going to say anything bad about him. That's Conne McGregor.

Yeah, that's great. But he's a big boy. He's a big strong boy. He looks like a, you know, I mean, if he trains every single day, I still respect that. You think he's Natty? I don't know. I don't care. I think if he trains every day the way he does, I respect it.

It's hard to do that. I think anybody who gets on the mat like him every day if he's doing that, that's commendable. But we don't know. We don't know that, Brad. Yeah. He did, remember, he did challenge Strickland to roll, but Strickland didn't want to roll with him. Well, Strickland called him out to his face.

Yeah. But when he asked him, like, let's roll together. See, I would have liked that. But also, I'm kind of with Strickland, too, like, who the fuck are you? Yeah. You're talking about a former middleweight champion in the world? Wait, I get a role with you so you can confirm. Well, to be fair, Strickland does entertain that stuff.

He's done it twice with two years. YouTubers, right? With the streamers. Sneaker. So he does entertain it. And he talks a lot of shit about Moneyberg. And he went to where Moneyberg was, called him a scumbag.

So I think, you know, I think that's fair. I would have liked Strickland to roll with him. Of course. Yeah, because Strickland doesn't take it easy on anybody. And then Strickland, if he was like, man, he's actually way better. And I thought that'd be awesome.

Uh-huh. Because I want it to be true. That'd be awesome. I love Jake. Like, Jake's been a buddy for a long time. Didn't the kid, Mikey? Muslim, how do you say? Musse-Mecchi.

Yeah. Didn't he roll with them at one point, get paid, and then afterwards kind of be like, I don't trust the shit. Which is not a good sign. Yeah. When after you receive payment, you go, you know what? I don't want to put my seal on this. Well, but maybe Mikey went into it and other high-level blackbells like, no, he's legit, man.

I'm telling you go, you make whatever 100K, 500K, just roll with him. Mike, he's like, he's legit. Like, yeah, man. And then he was in and he was like, oh, shit. Check, please. Give me the mic. That guy's not, you know, who knows? Well, it's kind of, it's kind of blown over now.

Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of, it's like, all right. Again, the guy's doing his thing. It doesn't bother me. I don't give a, I would also say that, like, that might not be a good metric because Mike in Musimuth is so good. Like he is a good metric.

It is the best metric. Why? He's so good, though. A high level black belt that knows Jiu-Better than most people. That's what I'm saying, though, he's going to tap you regardless, right? So, no, no, no, no. Hold on, you're missing it. He knows Jiu-Situ better than most, and he's not part of that team.

Yeah. So when you get a high-level black belt, I can tell you right now if that guy's legit or not, just by rolling with him one time. You could. Yeah. Anyone could. That's been around Jiu-Soo long enough. Mike is at such a high level.

There's a basic standard you can tell the second you're rolling with somebody. Really? But what I'm trying to say is that when you're really good, like say you used to roll with him, right? You're just big, so big and strong, nothing's going to work against you. Not true. Not true. I can tell the guy's fundamentals, his basics. If I'm catching him in certain stupid stuff, you know. I got you. You know. If he's, if he's leaving himself open, you're like, oh, okay. But then just the meat and potatoes, the very basics. If he's not doing those, then I'm,

I would assume he's not only training three years. So Mike, he's like, oh, buddy, this guy couldn't even. Yeah. Can you tell rolling with someone the difference? Like, they didn't tell you what their belt was. If they, if they're a purple belt or black belt? Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah. What's like the big, what's like the big, hell. Again, it's just the basic. Rookie mistakes. It's just the basic stuff. Like, if I'm catching you in this over and over, it's like, oh, buddy, you haven't been. Your arms are up here. You leave yourself open. And this might seem like, you watch Gabe Tuttle. Like, he's 140 pounds. No matter who he's rolling with, what makes him so good is he's, he's, I don't care if the guy's 200 pounds and, you know, blackbell high. He's, he stays out of danger. Like, he knows how to keep himself safe. There's a certain

basics that you you better pack a lunch. Now here's a question, because you both know Jiu-Jitsu way better than I do. You would know for sure. I saw McKenzie Dern's dad as a coral belt. Is there he's a piece? He's talking about a legend. Does that really, is he actually like that much better than a black belt? He's been around

it long enough and he's hit certain milestones. Okay. That coral belt is basically like you're like an OG Mount Rushmore. He's been around forever. You're talking about legend, Bubba. Yeah. She comes from like elite bloodline.

Elite elite. Yeah. What is her bloodline? She's all gracey stuff? Her dad. Her dad's one of the, I mean, one of the great. I mean, legend.

But it doesn't mean they're going to easily tap a black belt because they probably are older, right? So they're probably not going to move. Yeah, it's more of like, it's more of an experience thing. You know, they have so many years on their belt teaching jiu-jitsu.

Probably great coaches. Amazing coach. Amazing coach. So her dad's, Brazil. Yep. Megaton. Her accent changed over time. Yeah. Well, I think if you spent, if you spent enough time in a country, that's like Millie Bobby Brown. Everyone's like giving her shit because she doesn't have as much of a British accent anymore. But that's just because if you spend enough time in a country. That's true too. But also, you know how I know your gay is when you look at McKenzie Durham? Like, dude, her accent. I don't give a fuck if

she's doing an Asian accent. Who gives a flying. Fuck. I'm all about character. That's your issue with her? I'm a character guy. But like people online are like, oh, how's that fake accent? She's like, I don't know. I just won a world championship. I don't fucking, I was trying to fit in.

You're like, you know. That's fair. When you're younger, you're like, you know, I was heavily into the Brazilian jihitsu and I was competing jitsu. I was using more of a Portuguese accent. Now I'm not. You want to just watch it real quick? It's pretty short, I think.

I think Jiu Jizza in Arizona. is developing very rapidly. A lot of the training in Brazil is more like rolling. Hey guys, I'm Mackenzie Dern. I'm here in Maine. Yeah, she's from in Arizona. Better than you never fought any girls. But in my first tournament, I fought a girl and I lost. So I think I was able to see outside.

Sometimes you just need a break, you know? And they treat me like a little sister, you know? So like they push me and kind of like mess me up a little bit. I've been training hard, but also it's here for like vacation, so I had to pass like Christmas here. It's probably thinking my digits is a little bit like timing off and everything because I've been so far so much time out of competition and everything. I'm a fighter that kind of does good at private gym, you know? And yeah, it's like kind of the he's been through all these champions and it's cool when you have like, I want to see you truly be who you are. He's nothing crazy, but then also remember,

If she's in Brazil and all they're doing speaking in Portuguese, you know what I'm saying? It's like, here's why. You're super charitable. Oh, no, I don't give a flying fuck. My only, my only thing with that. It doesn't, you may not give a blind fuck. I'm just saying that's a little strange. Because Brian knows my ex.

My ex grew up her whole life in Brazil and has the last one I've sent them. That's actually rather interesting. Yeah. Because she speaks perfectly fluent English, right? Well, she was born in fucking Phoenix. Her home. Yeah. But then also to her defense, too, you know, she's in that.

community and she was like, I don't know, I got to lean into this. And then she grew up and was like, fuck it. Hey, it's all good. Yeah, I don't give a phone. You know what I mean? And I like you're stepping up for your girl. And I'm not even stepping up for her. I just don't.

It's all good. It's all good. Who cares? If it was somebody else, you would. No, I promised you I would. Hey, listen. I don't think she's, is there somebody else that's done that chin? Probably not.

Now, here's the thing. Why don't we just stay on target here? God bless her. Remember Johnny Depp? I'm a fan. Johnny Depp with the British accent. Yeah. Well, no, Madonna.

No, Madonna. She goes, it's the Simon Oxy. And you're like, you know how the. Yeah. Hey, hey. It's kind of sexy. I'm like, I'm a fan. But you're dating.

Like, man, can you put more of that Portuguese twang? If it was a guy, we'd be fucking murder. But since she's out. Oh, no, I wouldn't care. She's a lovely lady. It's like, I just find it. It's a little bit off. It's a little bit, huh?

And that's all. I went like this. Things that make you go. When you grow up in Arizona, you go, how do you say? You know how you say. Yeah. Well, no, no. No, the worst example is Alec Baldwin's wife.

Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And they're like, hey, you're from New Jersey. Yeah, what are you talking?

Uh, how you say in English, cucumber. That is fucking bizarre. Well, there's also the internet. And they're like, Kate. And then her high school friends like, hey, bitch, you, that is so bizarre. We got like, like, fucking Philly cheese steaks. What are you talking about?

And then, my husband hates Tevoja. So he hates Tevoja. And so I grind Tevoja. And there. This is,

where is she from? She's from New Jersey, Bubba. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, dude. Well, Grants,

I know people in New Jersey who also can't speak English. By the way, that's such a red flag. I'm from Denver. I struggle with English. Yeah. But I'm not giving you access.

You don't have an English accent. That'd be way better by. That is, that to me is a red flag. She's from Boston. I mean, that's weird. Like, stop it. No, but even, even like her friends from childhood were like, you just need to stop this, man. What do you could lose an accent, but you don't gain a new accent.

Like, I'm from the Bronx and my accent has waned over. Like, my friends think I sound like a fucking country bumpkin compared to them. Because I've like, my accent has slowly went away. Yeah. Like certain words come back. But if you gain an accent, you're trying. be fair like when i was training with tony jeffreys who has like a strong english accent like certain stuff he would say i would start saying a little bit so i can kind of see maybe no no no yeah yeah

you wouldn't forget the word onion now if you were talking and you went like this how do you say how how do you say what was it one for for smell you know got when i got my eyes onion onion onion can you imagine if i did that around like you guys in rogan you guys like what what are you doing I wouldn't get away with like a few times. Get away with it. Excuse me, Joe, Holgen. How do you say,

my father, how do you say cucumber? He's like, well, hold on real quick. Why are you talking like that? Yeah. My father would, I remember this so well.

My father would, well, my father could meet, he's the worst with accents, everything. He goes, well, I was in Uruguay and,

and I go, hey, hey, hey, you got to stop with this. Uh-huh. You got to stop with this immediately. Yeah. Is that a Bordeaux? I'm like,

it's a Bordeaux. But also remember Johnny Depp, he was like living in England and then just had a straight-up British accent. Let's play Madonna because this is another one. All right, kids, let's take a little break because this episode, the Fireman Kid is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it super easy.

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The most important thing that I've learned is that love makes all the difference. I'm looking for a place to live in London, but only because I go there so much, I work there so much, I can't stand staying in a hotel. Because art has nothing to do with money and everything to do with love. I mean...

And like love, It can be inspiring, inexplicable, provocative, and sometimes infuriating. Religion is synonymous with not asking questions. And what I call religious thinking is... I'm almost 100%. I've got a little bit of a crack still in my scapula and in one of my ribs. So no one should hug me tight. I'm a detail-oriented person

and I Hey man I'm not gonna lie it's gotta been the same All right No no Iron-a-grande actually This this is fine To me I go You've been in England a long time

I've seen this England is a very seductive That accent's very seductive You're gonna find yourself Oh look who's on board now Now he's on board Yeah look who's on board now With the old fucking

When she was younger When she was younger though She was my type I hate dude, I had a friend that went and he did a month in France and then he came back saying croissant and I was like, get the fuck out of my face. Yeah, that hurt me. Get the fuck out of my face.

Well, that'd be me though. That's what I do. Like croissant. Well, you do word. You do some words. But I grew up with it. Like Afghanistan. Afghanistan. But I grew up with it. I grew up. That's how it was. I know, but stop.

No one likes it. I'm telling you it hurts the fuck. No, but because, because no, but for me. Oh, no, nothing's worse when my dad. When we go to Mexican restaurant, uh, Ola, you know, like, you don't, you don't have to do that. How is your, like, grassy. How's your cassadia? It's good. Oh, my dad said, how do you do?

How's the, uh, carna and sara? I'm like, just buddy. I'll have, uh, we'll have one carne asada. It's offensive. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's funny, though. It's, I don't know how your parents are, like, at a certain age, you just don't know what's not offensive anymore.

Like, you'll say words, you get more honest. There's awkward. But there's certain things that were words. at a time that are no longer like my brother at one time back in the day we're going out to uh my brother was going to fly to malaysia and it was actually right after Malaysia to flights like when the Malaysian airlines went down so he was touring around the world as a band and my dad for some reason thought it'd be a a fun idea to have one last dinner with him which was weird that's funny yeah and uh we went and we're out and my dad didn't know my brother had a girlfriend in Canada and uh while we're hanging out I go oh

how's your girlfriend and my brother gave me a look at like, don't fucking don't. And my dad's like, you have a girlfriend? So he's like, let me see a picture. And my dad, my brother pulls a picture up and my dad goes, oh, she's Oriental. And I'm like, I hope that's a picture of a fucking rug. Don't say that. That's the old school.

That was the old school thing. You're orient. And that's how we talk. It's never out of malice or never out of racism. No, that's why. Oriental. Oriental was an accepted term because it was part, you were from the Orient. Yeah.

You weren't Asian. Asian is as general as it gets. Asian is ridiculous. The Asian land mass, 48 countries in Asia. Yeah. So that's right. But you can see why your dad.

It's not offensive. He's never said anything offensive. And so funny. But like even at my kiddos's practice the other night, I was like, they were doing all these drills and I'm like, you guys just need to play like football. Smare the queer and I feel like, smear the queer and one of the kids like, whoa. I'm like, buddy. It's not, I'm not called you a queer.

I'm like, it's a game. It's called Smer the Queer. It has nothing to do with being gay, dude. That's what we called it back in the day. Don't be a bitch. Speaking of, so, I wanted to bring, I have a thing I wanted to do. Because a lot of the comments say how Brian thinks he's very smart

and Brian thinks he's the smartest one on the pod. I definitely don't, but, you know. But. No one comes like history in black guys, he's definitely the best. I want to do a fighter. There's no argument there. I wanted to do a fighter in the kid,

Q test. Okay. And we're going to do the best of... It seemed like Kim Kardashian when she didn't pass the bar and they're like, yeah, your brain's not functioning at a normal... Oh, that's that guy who did the scan? And she's all... The scan guy?

He has scans. Do you see him on Dr. Mike? That guy who does scans? No, I was just... I was going to... I have some family members that we were going to try it. And then I looked at the evidence and then Dr. Mike says, have you had any randomized, human controlled double blind studies?

And he's like, I think you're being unfair. He's like, what? And it's like, I mean, no, and I don't like this line of questioning. It's like, wow, dude, he's asking you a question. I can't believe Kim allowed that. You're saying that people have a toxic green. Is this like a jeopardy thing or trivial pursuit? It's just going to be simple questions.

Is there sports category? Because I will wreck his world. Sports question. All right. Great. You can do it from there, right? Is this an IQ test? Yeah.

Is it an IQ test? I never do. This one, Sir Brian. You're nervous, huh? No. Not nervous because. I never claim to be anything, but... No, you think you're smart.

I don't think I'm smart, actually. Smart and smart. I think he's smart. What does smart mean? Smart is compartmentalized. See, this is the problem. You're going to write your answer on the paper. Okay.

And I'm going to ask the question, and I want you to... When my time's up, I want you to show the answer. Can I have a pen? You don't have a pen? I got them. Okay. I don't know what Brian's fucking... I love to smell these.

They've changed over the years. Okay. Okay. Awesome. So these are basic questions. Yep. First round, basic questions. Okay, a bat and a ball cost a dollar ten total. A bat costs a dollar more than the ball.

How much does the ball cost? So a bat and a ball costs a dollar ten. So write down your answer. And the bat costs a dollar more? Yeah, just write down answer. The bat costs. a dollar more than the ball. Now show the answer to the camera.

All right. Don't show it. Brian. Okay, God. Brennan's. You ready? Hold on. It can't be like an hour prospect,

okay. Now show the camera. He says 10 cents, five cents. The answer, five cents. Why? Brennan one.

Why is that? I just have the answers. Huh? I just have the answers. Okay, what country has the most time zones? This is like a medium difficulty. Okay, he said Russia? Oh, wait, we can't, yeah, tell Brennan.

All right, so go ahead. I already wrote one before I saw it. All right. All right, I don't know for it, Brian. I think this is right. I don't know for sure. Russia, France? Who's right?

Brendan's right. Whoa. France? France? France has the most time zones. I looked it up. France has more time zones than Russia? Yeah.

France. Yeah, it's misconception. It's misconception because people think of the big landmatch. Yeah. But it's not. There's a bunch going on. The only reason I know that is because I saw something, an idea about it. France.

Yeah. And I remember it was either Asia or France. Wow. Asia's not a country, but yeah. Comment. That's more of a logic question. What word is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary? What word is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary?

What word is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary? Every dictionary. It's more a logic-based question. It's something that's going to be in our face. Say it one more time? What word is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary? It's like this one's kind of easy. Brian over here at the camera?

They both got it. Yeah. Nice. What is it? Incorrectly. Incorrect. Yeah. I thought I'd throw a little curveball in there.

Okay. This one's a math one. If it takes five minutes, five machines five minutes to make. five widgets, how long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? If it takes five machines... Five minutes to make five widgets. To make five widgets? Mm-hmm.

How much would it take to make 100 widgets? How long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? It's still on the logic. Damn. I want to change my answer, but I think this is it. It's simpler than you think. Ready? Um, hold on.

You're putting a lot more than you should. I'll give you that in. I would say it's... This might be one where you might feel silly. Is it five minutes? Yeah. Wow. Five minutes, five minutes.

Thought you guys would be harder to stump. This is a history one. I was like, I need to find a... Because I know you both know history. But France, time zones. Yeah. You're still stuck in that way. We'll check it after...

I look to you like, are you out of your mind? Because Russia has five time zones, I think? We'll check after the game, right? After it's on. Okay. Next one. This is... I don't think Russia's in top three.

I know France is top three. Mm-hmm. Russia has a huge land mass. It is. That's why people get the question wrong. Because you think you're landmary. Mm-hmm. Still is, I think it still has five times zones.

What country is still in time? It's France, being. I'm positive. Wow. France. Mm-hmm. I thought you were going to get that because you have all the France knowledge. Yeah, well, I've been to have thrown you a layup.

Five, five. Here's what's who has never been afraid. No, I have to look that up. Zero desires to go. I'll have to look that up. This is, I was like, I need to, this is going to be a harder one because I'm like, you both know history, so I was like,

I need to come up with a little harder one. I majored in history, though. I majored in football. Okay, so this one might be, Bryans. What year did Constanople fall to the Ottoman Empire? Oh, fuck, that's good. I used to know this. I know the story.

Fuck, hold on. Damn. Damn, I took a course on this, too. Fuck. Hold on. Damn it. Hold on. Man, that's such an important, that's such an important event, too.

Essentially the fall of Roman Empire. Do I remember? So the Ottomans, the Ottomans brought in a hundred foot cannon. It took them a mile a day. It took them 100 days. they brought the is that $1,500? They brought down,

they brought down, and it was stood for a thousand years. So hold on. So the Byzantine Empire fell. And it became modern day Istanbul. Can we get the, can I get the decade? Yeah, can we get it?

I'll give you within, give me plus or minus, plus or minus 10 years. I'll give you. 1,500. Hold on. I would say, hold on. I'll say it's in, do you want me to give you a hint?

Yeah. Yeah. $1,400s? It's $1,400? I was going to say $1,500 myself. I'm going to say $1.50. What did you say? $1.50?

Are you going to prices, write them? Yeah, do we get a 10, like, a 10, even if whoever's five years closest. Okay. 1450? I'm going to go. Price is right. Did you do that on purpose? Yeah.

You both got, he got the right answered by just prices of writing. No, fuck, in the way. You that serious? Yeah. 1453. Well, so it stood for a thousand years, so I'm trying to think, fuck.

Okay. Here's a basic, just a basic question. How many months have, have 28 days. Man, I need some auto parts, and I'll tell you something. I need a friendly, helpful staff. I want to be able to do things like maintenance.

I want to buy parts, but they got to be in stock. And they got to be super friendly and helpful. That's why the team at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's one literally right up here off 620. They are the absolute best. I'm always there. They had car parts from my 392 Jeep. They had the filters.

They had everything I needed to get the job done. They had it in stock. And when they weren't sure, they looked online. They go, we can have it for you tomorrow, but they actually found one. I love the team at O'Reilly. They're your one-stop shop for everything you need. Whether it's in store or online, stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today, or visit them at O'Reillyato.com slash Fighter.

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You don't know? I think it's one month, February. It was a logical. Brian Dome. Brian's getting crushed. I think somebody's got the answers. ahead of time. No. Oh, but how easy is that one?

Yeah, how many months is that logic question at 28 days? Brendan I know knows art. Is February the only month with 28 days? No, they all have 28 days. No, I mean, but I'm saying this February end at that month at day 28. Which is the only month that ends at 28?

Yeah, February. But then February, there's leap year, there's 29. This is a simple art question. I think anybody who knows art, but get this one. I know three artists. Yeah? Yep. Which artist painted the Garden of Earthly Delights?

Everyone knows this. What artist painted the Garden of Earthly Delights? You can just say the last name. Everyone knows as well. I don't know first names. Rembrandt? No. Tees?

Dude, this is one of the easiest ones. The Garden of Earthly Delights. I know, I legit, no. You know the last name. You artists. Monet and Bosch. I don't know. You have to pick one.

I don't know. I don't know art. The Garden of Earthly... Dude, you know this painting. My mom's favorite is Bosch. I don't know. Never. I never even heard of the Garden of Earthly Delights, actually.

Are you serious? I don't know anything about painting, dude. I've never heard of it is. But I know two artists? Bosch. Bosch? Yeah. Bosch?

I couldn't tell you a Bosch painting. Show the camera? Bosch. Did you actually write about? Yeah, Bosch. You're so foolish. Yeah, dude. I know Monet and Bosch.

You guys can swear. No, man, you're dumb. This is great. I can always tell one like I'm being gained. He got all the answer. You're getting mad. You knew Bosch. I know Bosch and Monash.

Everyone knows Bosch. They know. Nobody knows Bosch. If I don't know Bosch, no one knows Bosch. I've never heard of Bosch. He's coping. Boss. Dude, this is, okay.

This is so good. 1453, the fall of Constantinople. Here's a simple question. Wait, wait, wait, Brett. Well, I guess it's at 1,500. The fall of Constantinople, what was the historical significance about that? Well, he just guessed three numbers past yours. Well, I thought it was year 1500. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on 1400. What? Next question. Who were the Ottomans? The Ottoman Empire. Who were they? What do you mean?

Ottomans. Who are they? Ottoman. Persians. I got gamed. No. No. No. The Ottomans were not Persian. What were they? One more guess. who are the Ottomans? Where is modern-day Constantinople now? They're Middle Eastern, right? Can I say that? Is that too general? No.

Who are the, where is Constance-Nople today? Italy? Rome? But you got the right, you got 1453. Why did it off you? Uh-huh. Okay. This one...

Listen, it's in modern-day Turkey. It's Istanbul. Oh, gotcha. What's the score? Brandon's winning Shut the fuck up It's pretty close But Brendan is winning

But I mean Give us one more Last one There's two more Because we'll do this one And we'll do the I think Brian will know The football

What's Brian gonna do If I fucking dominate Well I think you got The answers ahead of time And you think I'm gonna remember 1453 I do I do

And Bosch Yes because you don't know Anything about the fall of Constantinople I just went off your years. What was the, what was the score? Am I winning? Yes, you're winning.

Try don't get the final score. What was constant? Let me get through this and we'll do it. Let's finish. Okay. This one, six or two? Yeah. Everyone knows this.

Longest coastline in the world. What country has the longest, what country is the longest coastline in the world? I would have to say Australia. Okay. Because you're losing, I'm going to say no. It's not Australia? The longest coastline in the world. You should.

know this? A country. Should I give a hint? No, hold on. Let them, yeah. Australia would be a hint and go for it. It's not Australia. It's the entire continent, though, right?

You could say it's got a coastline. What it'd be the circumvent? No, it's a country. But the circumference of Australia, which is a country, would be the longest coastline technically, right? Africa. Wouldn't it? Well, it would be Africa if we were going by continent.

No, but we're not going. a continent because Australia is technically also a country. So, you know what I'm saying? So you would have to include... So exclude something that's also a continent. So just straight up, just country only. Just a country long as coastline. Could I give a language that they speak?

Go for it. No, because they give it away. Yeah, it's up to you guys if you guys want hints or not. Is the language English? So you want that hint? You go for it. Is it French? It's a country that if you're a stand-up comedian,

you can perform in. That's not North Korea. It would not... Do I'm going to give you a hemisphere? Let me ask you this. It wouldn't be Nigeria, although that's English. Do they speak as French?

Well, Nigeria is landlocked. Nigeria has to be off the coast, actually. Oh, yeah, you're right, you're right. Do they speak French? They do sometimes. But they also speak English.

Depends on where in the country you are. Oh, it's Canada. Is that too much, Manhattan? Yeah. Canada. All right down Canada. Canada has a longest coastline?

Yeah. To the top? Can you see if Australia has, like, it technically has a coastline? And it's longer, but Canada's huge. Because thinking about the top of Canada. Right, but the circumference of Australia, I feel would be. Extensive coastline surrounding the entire continent and making it the world's largest island. Right.

But does that- Canada has the largest coastline? Does that count as a coastline? But remember, he said, not a continent. Yeah, but it's still country. So it's both. Wow.

There you go. Longest coastline. I was trying to, that one should be like, you know, that's, oh, the Atlantic Pacific and the Arctic,

right? Because it's got all the islands. That's why I ask about if they speak French. Yeah, I don't know. That's going to eliminate a ton of shit. Yeah.

I thought that was too easy for him. Okay, this is the final one. I'm going to give you guys a sports one. Football. Good. This way it's Stephen. Yep. Which NFL team has appeared in four Super Bowls and lost all four?

Too easy. Oh, fuck. Too easy. Do you guys need hints? Nope. Don't give any hints. This is the last one? Yeah.

Yep. Good shit. What was the final? What did you write, Brent? Buffalo. You got it right? got it that one's easy they both got the final two brennan bring me through the math of uh the dollar 10 if it's a dollar 10 and the bat is a dollar more than 10 than 10 than then then the ball in all fairness

i'll give him credit on this it's on social media it's like one of the biggest like it shows up on oh it does yeah and the algorithms so let's go through the math that i can't i'm so bad with that stuff so you have Don't they say math isn't a sign of intelligence, though? No, but it's still part of logic. Yeah. So you should be able to decipher it, right? So if the total is $1.10, you take a dollar. The bat's a dollar.

The bat would be a dollar. Yep. And then so the ball is $0. So if the bat's a dollar and the problem with that is, wait, if the bat's a dollar and the ball is $0.10. So technically right now, Brendan. to buy the bat, right? Brendan is the champion of fighter-knicket IQ. Is that the final total?

I started writing later, but basically I have seven to four. So Brennan, seven to four. It's not a big deal. You beat me. I believe that you're seething. You're seething. I believe you guys gained this system, and I believe you got the answer to that.

You're still smart, dude. I think you got the answer to that. I think I've been cheated. You think that I would, how would we have done that? You think he called me? How? Do you think that Brendan would have remembered the answer? You think I'd remember 10 fucking answers?

I do. No, God, no. I do. Some were pretty easy to be fair. Those were good, though. Yeah. Yeah. Broughty, Brennan.

Thanks, man. I knew you were the smarter one in the pot. Brennan's no dummy. No. I'm smart. I'm terrible with that stuff. The Bosch, if you held a gun in my head and I'd give you a third artist, I couldn't do it.

It's my mom's favorite artist. Oh. Bosch and Monet. Really? by far our favorite. Have you held my gun on my head? Bring up Bosch, bring up that painting. What's it called?

The earthly delights. Yeah. Bring that up. You've seen it. Maybe. But if you told me the name, I couldn't point it out. Oh. You've definitely seen this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see it? Oh, let's get a better one. It's kind of pornographic. Can you zoom in? Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of sex. Yeah, this is a huge.

I'll draw that. I'll draw that. I'll draw that right now. Super fan. I'll draw that right now. yeah i don't i'm the worst with with uh art history i want to take an art history class because it's important but because it reflects the the the times yeah that's a famous painting fucking brennan thank you sir wow fighting the kid IQ champressive you're still smart dude i don't want any

don't leave here and be like god i'm in i've never said i was smart not one time in my life yeah but you give off that in fact in fact when people say i'm smart i've had people say you're really smart and my my my my wife's grandmother said well you're brilliant and I said no I'm not I just have information in my head and that information is available to everybody I'm not there I don't believe I've been around brilliant people I told you my my dinner with Peter Thiel I was having dinner with Peter Thiel and I was like I was like I turned to my buddy and I go so everything I said is stuff I've read or heard yeah this guy comes up with new shit he would be brilliant That's when you know you're not smart.

Well, it's like when people around me or even whoever it is, they're like, man, he's such an athlete. I'm like, fine athlete. I've played with guys at University of Colorado that would blow the doors off this guy he thinks an athlete. And intelligence is compartmentalized. My brother-in-law, David Blaine, was trying to find the smartest man in the world. And he came over and he had 10 questions, logic questions.

I got one out of 10. Bill Gates got six out of ten. Okay? Now, my brother-in-law's off the charts when it comes to logic. He won like some crazy, some crazy test. That's like an essential part of IQ, isn't it? He got nine out of fucking ten. You know the one he didn't get?

The one I got. Really? Yes. Nine out of fucking ten. And I was like, dude, do you know what you just did? Like, that's crazy. He goes, yeah, I'm just good at logic. No, no, no, hold it.

Like, a guy at NASA that David asked, I think got seven out of ten. Yeah. The point is, is like intelligence, comedy, I think I can write, I can write stuff.

It just comes to me. Everything else? I have a hard time, dude. I'll give you this. You're very well read. Okay. Very well read. And part of the reason I'm well read

is because I don't know shit. He's also old as fun. Yeah. But I was also like, so he's as a head star. There wasn't movies yet. No. But have you ever given,

have you ever said to yourself, what do I really know? I did that with myself. not fun. Like, I didn't like Kamala Harris. I was like, I just don't like her. And then I was like, do I know anything about her? Do I actually know what you look into it? And you hate her even more. Yeah. But you know what I'm saying? I hadn't done enough research. I was like I don't, I'm making these opinions because people that I tend to agree with seem to be very critical. But then I was like, let me do my own research here because I haven't done any fucking like should I actually know? I know, I know fighting.

That's kind of. And I know I have football. Right. I don't know if you heard me say. You know what I mean? That's a bad. If you take yourself to task. It's about it. I know my way around the weight room. Did you hear me talk about it on stage in Canada, in Washington, where I said, I'm 36 now,

and I've reached an age where I realized I am a fucking idiot. Like, you just get to a point where you go, I'm not smart. You know what I mean? No, but there's nothing wrong with that. No, but you should realize that one day. But a smart person will realize that. That's the thing. Dumb people don't know that.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's not that you're not smart. Like, I'm not impressed with anything. because like let's say you meet a brain surgeon or whoever it is the NASA cool when I was focused balls deep since I was four in football you decide you're into rockets right you went down that path I went down this path okay yes yes yeah if I chose to go down that path I could maybe I won't be as good there but I'll be pretty fucking good yes so I never get

intimidated with that stuff it's just the with the maybe not NASA no no even with like if I dedicate my life to NASA I do pretty well so so so Now, no, no, no, no, no, you're, no, hold it. Hold it on. Hold on. Hold this thought. Hold this thought. Because I'm not going to be able to compete with the Nazis that they brought over, but I'll, dude, I'll put a fucking good effort. Not the Nazis. I'll show up every day. They were real good at NASA. But you're, you know, you're so right about that. I did a podcast for a long time where I interviewed the biggest academics, the smartest people who wrote these books that were seminal books. I interviewed the academic all stars. The, the academics, the, the, professors in college that everybody talked about.

And what shocked the fuck out of me. How boring you. Well, they just know a lot, right? About they speak a language. There's a scaffolding. How little views they bring? They can tell you about Darwin. They can tell you about Carvernikus.

They can tell you about all this stuff. The YouTube algorithm doesn't fuck with it. If you ask them about, what is Einstein doing all that? You can ask them that. Okay, good. Now, now, tell those guys to turn a profit in a business. Tell them to run a business. tell them to do anything.

It's a different skill set though. They're so fun. They literally are kids. But you need people like that. Yeah, but yeah, but then ask him to list off Connor McGregor's last seven fights. I'm like, wait, what? I'm like, yeah, you feel stupid.

That's how I feel when you're breaking down rock. It's a motherfucker. Some people have a computer like Ben Shapiro has a computer in his brain that works faster than all of us. Bill Gates, that's like running a leper. Like Elon, too. Now, don't even if whatever Elon with that brain, you can't compete with that.

Different. But normal people, yeah, different. Like a actual, that's a super machine. It's different. It's different. Supercomputer. Yeah, you're not. So you think it's more of just a processing power more than.

I think, I think what you get good at is pattern recognition. I think you get good at repetition. When you have good teachers and you practice and you specify on something, that's how you get really good at something. But I think you start talking about smart. Yeah. I think you get really good at it because you're into it. You know what I'm saying?

I'll run circles around the guy from NASA if you want to talk about serial killers fighting football. You know serial killer shit? Oh, buddy. Yeah? Yeah. That's right though.

It's whatever you focus on. It's just what I'm into. And he's into rockets and dicks. You know, it's like I don't fucking, it's not impressive to me. Yeah, I'll tell you a sign of intelligence. What impresses me is when people can show me the difference. When people go, when people say something like,

I'll see something. I'll see a thing and I'll go, it doesn't sit well with me. And then somebody highlights or defines what that is. yeah, that's what Jordan Peterson does. That's what some people are very good at, where I go, oh, damn, you just gave language to a feeling I couldn't express.

So I couldn't articulate why I don't like that. And then somebody will come along and say something like, they'll say, what you're doing is you're replacing originality with vulgarity. You're replacing, you're replacing, no, but listen, just listen, You're replacing original expression, which is really hard to do. You know, to be a really original artist or really good at comedy, the cop out here is that you're replacing that work with shock factor. Shocking people is easier than being original and have people go, oh, fuck.

When somebody breaks that down, you go, fuck, that's what bugs me about it. I didn't know that. I'm using a rudimentary example, but I'm saying that's impressive to me. Chin, do I tell him he's spiraling. Tell him. Am I spiraling? You're spiraling. Do you know why?

Why? Because I gave Brennan the answer. I knew you did. No, you did. That was a great job, Brian. Of course I did because I said 14. I was like 14. And then he said Bosch and I was like, hey, in my head though, I was like, maybe I don't get all of them right, Nick.

Like, no. My favorite. I said 14 and I go, I know it's around the 15. When you said I went, I was like, he doesn't know anything about Constance and Noble. The fall of Constantinople. He didn't know who the Ottomans were. I was like. And then Bosch?

Bosh. You did great. That's my mom's favorite. My mom's favorite. You know, you did a good job, though? When you said it's my mom's favorite artist. Then you were like,

all right. All right. You don't, but I saw you see the thing. I saw you see the car. Hey, the only thing that gave me that is my mom's legit favorite artist is Monet. Also,

I loves money. Also, when you did five cents, I went. Hey. Hey. Boy, I love watching your face. Nick,

you're too obvious. Some of them like, oh my God. My favorite part was you. And by the way, five cents the right answer now i just figured you couldn't you couldn't see it but at one point when i asked the constant uh the constantinople question it because i had the answers written on brennan's paper he was looking at the one that said all of them and i was like no no no it went hold on

what year did they fall all of them i was like all of them i was like that's a trick that's all of them all of them that is funny oh you you got the answers mixed up that would a really And I was like, all of them. I was like, I read the wrong. And then I looked behind, like, I'll just switch those. 1453. No, I knew. I was like, I was like, hey.

That's funny. Hey, 1453 was a little much. You're not allowed to do that. But you're a good liar, too. Because I was like, I went off yours. I was like, I saw you start talking about all the smartest people. And I'm like, oh, shit, I got to tell them. Yeah.

Let me take a piss real quick. That was great. That was great. That's funny, huh? It's great. Give it up. Good stuff. It's my mom's favorite artist.

Bosch. Bosch. And you spelled it, POS, H. I didn't see the spelling. I was like, boss. I spelled it wrong. Let's take a little break, be dude, you were looking good today

in that true classic as usual. Oh, really? As usual? True classic? Yeah, I know. I'm wearing my true classic. My white true. I was not like a white, dude.

Oh, dude, nothing better than white. You know what I'm saying? The white tees. You see me in a white tea? It's always True Classic. 25 million shirts sold to 5 million customers and more than 200,000 five-star reviews. Dude, they're the best. I wonder if it's good.

How long we've been rocking with our boy, Ryan, at True Classic? He's still in our old studio. My buddy went to Europe with his girl and they have money. And he was only rocking True Classic in the sweaters. And people were like, where'd you make that? Where'd you get that sweater? You dressed really well. Like, yeah, I spend money on it.

That's true classic, man. That was true classic. That's what my engine does. I rev up. Oh, my God. So skip the guest work and overpriced designer stuff. Get with it. Give comfort, give confidence.

Give true classic. You can find it they're big time now. Amazon, Target, Costco, Sam's Club, or just go to the website like we do, trueclic.com slash fighter to grab the perfect gift for your man's. It's the best. It's true classic.com slash fighter. well we're back i've been gamed

guys i was duped we're hoping he got more mad no i'm not gonna get mad at that what do you got chunster before we get to current events uh you guys mentioned nassah a few times what does nassas stand for national aeronautics aerospace no national aerospace association

National Aerospace aeronautics Well it's definitely something with water as well, right? Is that the aeronautics? No. National Air and Space

Agency. You're the closest to anyone else? National Air and Space Agency. No. Notical Air Space Agency. National Aerospace Agency. National Aerospace.

National Airspace. Aero Space Association. No. Agency. What is it? National aeronautics space administration. Administration. I started with aeronautics.

That was my guess. I mean, you guys were, you guys are kind of like all getting there. National aeronautics, space administration. National aeronautics. And spelled backwards, spells Nazi. Yeah. What? Backwards?

You never looked into that? No. Is it agency? Yeah. not association agency. Nick, you got this one? The first one first. This one?

Did you see they just dropped the footage? The fake footage. Yeah. Do you think it was fake? Apparently it was fake. No? No. It's a game upon a game.

What do you mean? They actually fought. Did you see this footage? It's brilliant marketing. Because they actually fought. There was an actual real fight. You think they actually did fight? I know this for a fact.

And so the rule was, None of this can get leaked. There's all, like the fans been out, leak it, leak it, leak it. Then they, after this, they became boys. Then they decided to do a product. Like, hey, man, there's a lot of hype around this. Let's build it up. And then we'll release this to announce our protein drink.

See, because now everyone thinks that this was all fooey. No, they actually fought. Let's see. Go. Go on. Come on. You know what I'm fucking you, right? Yeah, bronze, bro.

It's good. Yeah, no shit, bro. It's 32 grams of protein. You have two grams of sugar? Yeah, and it's lactose cream. This is the ultra filter milk. Love is a strong boy. What's the hot?

Ultra filter milk. We remove the excess sugar's milk leaving just the protein. It's actually bonding. They shot this after. So this is, so it's not. They actually fought. This is great. Great marketing.

Yeah, it's good, right? Really good. Thank you, bro. Let's do this, though. All right, bet. Oh, oh. Go, let's go. That was great.

That's genius what they did. Genius. Genius. See, okay. Everyone thought this whole thing was a sham. Interesting. Yeah. I know for a fact, it wasn't.

I know you can't say who won, but do you think it was a good fight? I would guess. I could tell you who won. I could guess. Well, I told you, Brian. The day it happened. Oh, he has the answers. You're my first call.

I'm trying to be fucking desperate. I know, but I thought it was all top secret. Yeah, but we're not saying who won. I called you. I'm friends with both of them, so I'm not, you know. I think I could probably guess I'll tell you off here how it went I know exactly that went really

yeah because yeah what is your guess by the way Nick what I'm gonna say my they're not gonna have to they don't have to confirm it just what is so my guess because Bradley is not a trained athlete in that sense and Logan was a high school

high quality Ohio oh that was California was Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio still, no matter what, if you're a high-level high school wrestler against someone who doesn't know what a sprawl is, a fight is very easy. Like, that's like, if you're even just a decent high school wrestler and you fight from on the street. And Logan can strike, too, for a guy, you know, regular guy, you can box.

Yeah, compared to Bradley. Bradley Cooper is, uh, Bradley Martin is a machine. That dude is huge. He doesn't do that. He doesn't look, he doesn't look that much smaller than Bradley. No. Yeah. Which is crazy.

Yeah. And he doesn't speak that language. He's, you know, crazy strong. And he's just built like a freak athlete. Like, and he's, look at him. He's in the WW. Not that that's real fighting. Still,

but like he could take a beating. He's super athletic and caught on so far as like. And Logan's just down. Yeah. Like when they told me, I'm like, what did I call him? Like,

don't you're worth like a billion dollars? Just gonna street fight this dude? Yeah. It's like, yeah. And not saying. I just woke up and we're like, fuck it.

Yeah. I didn't even tell my team. Not saying it was a close fight, but he also did box Floyd Mayweather. And, you know. So he had some training. He did training.

He has boxing. If you don't have a box and stuff, you get in the ring with Logan, you're going to get hurt. Yeah. But he hits, he's a big kid. Yeah,

he can hit hard. Yeah. People hate on him, but like, you're going to go to sleep. Even someone, like me or you would just get fucking tuned up. I remember one time I was boxing and he goes,

let's bar Brian on Twitter back in the day. And everybody's like, what the fuck? And I was like, respect your eldest young man. He was like, fair enough. Mm-hmm.

I love that they came together and, you know, that thing sells a gigilian. You don't have to show the reaction because now that we actually know. Yeah, all good. Man, I really like Bradley. I think he's a great guy. Me too.

They're both great, yeah. He's really cool, too. This I found, Chinna, if you want to read it. Man reveals life with the world's smallest penis. And then it's just like a nub, huh? So he actually, they have the actual number. Look at this size right here. This is, oh my gosh, man.

0.38 inches? Far below the typical average. His penis is not a penis. it's a condition. Why would he let them do a fucking article on him? But I guess there is a fetish. I bet he gets more chicks now. I don't think so.

You don't think he has fetish for small dicks? I'm with Brian on this. I bet you he gets more action now than ever before, ever before. You don't think so? No. No, because girls don't know beforehand that he has the smallest dick in the world. But look at him. Now they know.

Hey, bud. Listen, the ladies aren't knocking down his door. He is a, come on. But now, I guarantee there's some girls like, I actually like a small penis and they're out there. Well, I remember this guy I knew he was a big, bigger than life guy, wrestled

kind of a big handsome brute. And he was just kept saying, he was like, the thing about me is I got a small dick. And that's the problem. I'm a big guy, small dick, and it always bums girls out. You know, it's like that. And this girl, by the end of the night, he's making out with this chick chick, she didn't give a fuck. She loved him. So

some girls don't care even a little bit. They don't care if it's not a microprice. If you go, if you go to the doctor and the doctor, if the doctor goes, I can't call this a penis. Yeah. That's a problem. That's a problem. That's a problem. I mean, that's, that's like, that's what he's doing with his fingers right. That's kind of like, you don't have, you don't have anything. That's, it's not. There's no penetration for the girl. Can you have sex? I don't know, but his red beard is hot. You know, I don't know. The guy, he wasn't, it, it's a lonely life. It just is. Now, there are some women that don't care about sex. They just want companionship if you're a great guy,

whatever, he bet. I bet his personality's popping. Is that? Yes, you can satisfy sex. I mean, that's not using the penis, though. They're saying with other stuff. So basically you can't. Oh, it focuses on communication.

Like, you'll find less than three and a half inches when stretched. Oh, so can we be honest? 3.8, that's just a large clitoris. Yeah, that's a clitoris. That's a large clip. I mean, I wonder what happened. Just as a baby, you know.

And I've seen a large clip before. That's also disgusting. It's not good. It's not good. When you have a giant dick, like I'm talking about a ten incher, you know, like you don't have to move much. It's just like, you know. You get to just be stationary. Yeah, you know, it's hard to be ambitious.

It's like if you're really good looking with a giant dick, I would imagine you just kind of find a rich woman. If you're a Dak Prescott. Or you lead America's team. to not a playoff game, but you know, you're playing. I'll never forget, I was in Los Angeles when I was living in L.A., I was living in Korea town. And you know, homeless people just pulled their dicks out sometimes. Yeah, it's awesome.

I saw a white homeless guy walking down the street, pulls his dick out. And when I tell you, it was a forearm with a baby apple. I know, I said, buddy, just get a cell phone, get on the Oli-Fans. And I was like, how did you end up here? Dude, you don't think this guy can, you do? You don't think this guy can make money off Onlyvans? I don't know. I guarantee you can.

with a small dick. Really? Yeah, yeah. Dress it up, buddy. Dress it up? Yeah. You put a little clown nose on the other? Yeah, like look who's in Paris and he has like a croissant and this tiny dick.

Turtle head. Yeah. I guarantee you there's a money move there. I had a friend who we, it was his bachelor party. I'll never forget this. And these strippers came and they took his pants off. And his dick was a micro penis. His dick was this big.

And I remember the girl, there were three strippers. And the girl goes like this. I remember she turned away and she goes, his penis is so small. It's so small. She looked at the other girl. His penis is so small.

To him? That poor. He definitely heard it. She said it to the girl because it was a commotion. Ah, you know. And she just went, she like turned around to get something. I don't know.

The girl was there. We were all. She's like, oh my God. His penis is so small. And we were all like. Here's the shame with that. Like if you have a small,

there's literally nothing. you can do. Like if you're out of shape or you're an ugly face, there's surgery you can do to kind of look better with your dick. It's literally the biggest curse. There's nothing you can do. That is just your life, which does suck. But my, I guess you can get what I was going to say is, you know how like, they cut the. But what I'm wondering is like, you know, trans penises, right? Couldn't he just get built on top of it? So you can have phaloplasity to increase size, often with the goal of improving function and quality of life. Though many seeking enlargement actually have normal size penis.

Peptide. Is it a more functional penis sometimes involving skin grafts? A fat transfer. Injecting fat. Ligament release. Basically a BBL in your dick. Yeah. Imagine what are you balking for?

And you like, don't worry about it. Well, that's like that HBO show that followed prostitutes. Dude me and my brother laughed so hard when your kids because they mic the prostitute up. It's in like New York or New Jersey. And she's like showing the life of a fucking horror, a prostitute, like a real pro. And she gets this one car and she's miced up and here and go, ooh, you got that short fat. Before she sucks it. She goes, ooh, you got that short fat.

Dude, we laughed at that. I'll never fucking forget this girl I dated for 15 minutes. And it just threw me because she was like talking about this. black soccer player that she dated. And she was like, he's got elephantitis of the penis. And it's like, and then I was with this other guy. And it was like, the difference in getting punched and poked. And I was like, I don't want to have sex with you.

Because I don't know what I got. Now this is a problem. It was a problem. Hey, whore, save the story time. Right? Like, hey, don't tell me that. Like, you know. Dude, I had a friend because when we were like 18, we would go up to Westchester

because we were, there's this place where it's like the hottest girls. like massage place and you know you're going there for the happy ending and you're 18 you're like all of our friends were like fucking stoked to go there and we had this one friend very overweight and he was just like this is my fucking time i'm gonna i'm gonna finally get jerked off dude we didn't know he also had a tiny dick he we all are we all come out and we're waiting for him he just comes out and he just goes they said they don't do it here oh no even the horrors like, nah,

they're just like, we're not touching that. Jesus, and they also, I felt bad because he had a chicken tattoo on his back because his last name

had the word chicken in it. And not only did they not massage him, the other hot girls came in the room to laugh at his tattoo. He definitely has a weird fetish now. I wonder how he's doing today. He's a chef now. Oh.

Chef. Yeah. I still, we're really depressed about that. Very depressed. Yes, yes. If you go to one of those places and they just say,

we don't do that. You like, well, no, my buddies. They're like, heat their wine. Yeah, that's not happening. I was 17 in Russia and we picked up girls and my friend couldn't get it up. And my dick stayed up the whole time.

And she dragged me in, I remember she dragged me into another room to show her friend. And they were like speaking in Russian as my 17 year old dong was at attention. I was like trying to get away. She's like, no, no. and they were laughing. God bless them. And then I had sex again. My friend, uh, those were the days.

And then the other girl, Christina, had to talk to him in Russian because he spoke Russian. He was American Russian in the Cosmos Hotel. And I had sex with Svetlana and Christina at 17. It was the one of the better nights of my life. And then my mom found me in the biggest hotel in the world. She found me. She heard music. I wasn't there.

She knocked on the door. And, uh, we had, uh, We had vodka after that. And I remember the first time I ever drank vodka. And your mom saw you with the sluts? My mom saw Svetlana naked. While I was having sex with Christina, Svetlana came out completely naked.

And she was, there was a, it was a two-tiered. And your mom saw it? And look down. And my mother goes, hi. And then my mother said, she's a beautiful girl. And that was it. And we just talked the whole night.

Awkward? I gave them my blue jeans and my sneakers because they didn't have them back then. Yeah, that was 1985, everybody. Dude, you're so old that when you were. lost it, they didn't have blue jeans in Russia. That's so crazy. That's so crazy.

And these girls were hookers. Brian had sex before jeans. Yeah, these girls were hookers, literally hookers in the hotel, but we didn't pay any money. I just started talking to them and they thought I was cured. Well, those aren't hookers. Those are nice women. They were like 21 years old, which was such a big deal. It's weird how sometimes you will remember the weird little things you remember from your first

that's a seminal moment in my life, for real. I remember the first song that was playing. 221 year olds like what the fuck are you talking about i remember the song that was playing the first time i lost it it was uh fallout boy sugar we're going down so oh what a memory right and now every time i hear that song i'm like oh yeah it's the weird little shit you remember i remember i remember i was having sex with spedlana and i guess christina was couldn't get it going with my buddy peter or whatever the fuck's the name was and so she started to grab my nuts and i was like like like that and then said Lana's are yelling at her for doing that because it was throwing off

the I don't fucking know god are these memories going off the vibes grabbing the first time you get touched too you're just like I can't believe this is happening yeah like this is fucking crazy crazy I just remember what everyone's talking about I just remember her being so surprised that my dick didn't go down after the you know and I was like well the poor girls like fucking these old dudes and I know she was probably so happy to see you but it is but when I think back on it I don't know how they old they were but they had to have been 21 a little older how do you think your kid is now out there? What's that?

Right? Because you blew in them, right? Yes, I did. Yeah. So you probably have a kid out there. I sure did. And you know what? I don't remember.

And you probably died in the words. That kid's name today is Shavkat Rachmanov. Yeah. Can you imagine? Oh my God. Well, that would have been, guys, that would have been. Like, God, Hamzaat looks a lot like Brian. That would have been 41 years ago.

So Shafcott's much younger than that. He's 31 right now. Yeah. So that would have been 41. You might know, Brian. child as Fador Amelianenko. Is Fadour's little brother

Brian's son? Yeah, we have the same bone structure. Yeah, maybe she was a big girl. I'm good breeding stock. What else you got, Chin? Let's see. Did you guys see this video? Did you see this?

Oh, no, I got another one for you. This one's great. Let me see this one, though. On Greenland, sir, the premiere of Greenland said today, we prefer to stay with Denmark. Do you see that? Who said that?

The premiere of Green Left. Well, that's their problem. That's their problem. I disagree with him. I don't know who he is. Don't know anything about him. But that's going to be a big problem for him. He has no idea who the premier of Denmark is

and why he said that. He goes, who said it? She's like, legit. I never met him. I don't know what the fuck. I heard of him. Sounds like it's his problem. I don't like this American sword rattling.

It doesn't sit well with me. It's crazy that up. Did you see Trump at the, The auto workers thing? At Ford? Did you see that? Bring that up. That was cool. Bring that up. There was two employees talking shit to them. They got fired.

They were like, why are you protecting a pedophile? Because it's about Epstein. They got fired. Is this fire? Maybe, yeah. Trump flipped them off. Fuck you. He said, fuck you twice. And gave him the finger.

Jesus. Wow. He gives us. good as he gets, boy, he does not waste a second. He comes right at you. Yeah. Which in a way is almost, I don't like seeing my president use the F word, but it's almost the only response.

I like it because you know where he stands, at least. Whether you love him or not, at least he's like, I don't give a fuck what you think. I do wish he knew that Greenland had a premiere. He's like, who was that? That would have been nice. I just wish. Well, there's Denmark. No, it's Denmark.

Denmark. Denmark technically, I believe. Greenland is part of Denmark. Yeah. And they don't want to be part of them. And they subsidize Greenland. Yeah. And they don't want to be part of the United States. I think there are 45,000 people on, 57,000. Is that what it is? It sounds like their problem. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a question of Russia controlling the channels. Okay. You know, Venezuela is all about, it's all about oil. Oil?

Just China gets its, you know what? China is not energy independent. It needs its energy from Iran. And we want to be able to control that. Sure. And I think Venezuela strategically makes sense. So do you think technically Venezuela is kind of Iraq 2.0? No.

No. Venezuela is a very different country than Iraq. No, I'm saying, but like get rid of the guy. Same concept. Get the oil. I think the idea there was we can get you. Yes, we can get you. We don't need the oil.

We don't need it. We could buy the oil. We have our own oil. We have enough oil. We don't want China. Right. We want to stop China from getting the oil. That's a very important thing.

Russian, China. That's very important. Why? Because when China doesn't have enough energy, they can invade Taiwan. When China doesn't have the energy, they don't keep up with us with the AI battle. Sure. AI takes huge amounts of energy and cooling. A lot of water, too.

Yeah, it's the long game. We're trying to control all those resources. Yeah. That's all it is. That's a main thing. But Greenland's more of a... Trade. Trade.

Trade. And also because I guess, because what I've heard is we're the best, strategically, like, for war, we're the best located. Because we're separated from everybody. It would take forever. It would be too hard for countries invade us navally because... Yeah. Trump's not the first president to talk about Greenland. No.

It's been talked about by a lot of us. Forever, yeah. What's this, Jane? Nick so this is a pilot giving way too much information I wish that fucking

the tires appears to be okay in such a way that the tires will still function if the oh wow don't tell me karene

major damage or injuries I actually appreciate it. You'd want to hear that? Yeah. They're about the land too. Here's the part that would scare me the most about that. I would go, oh, fuck, a female pilot. All I'm thinking about is fire.

Fire? Yeah. All I'm thinking about is something catching. I appreciate the heads up because then once we do land, I'm going to turn a fucking Jason Bourne and get the fuck off that thing. I don't want to know. You do if a fire catches. You don't want fire.

What are you going to do that? you get the you i'm going to hit that i'm going to hit like a mother fucking well you're running through everybody i'm going to be the first one at the emergency guard we'll hold my kids you're full back and through oh yeah i'm fucking mike all starting that plane Brian's waiting i'm helping right's curl up in the corner so i like this i got this guys and then Brendan goes no Brian just keeps going you don't want fire okay guys don't want fire is that it chin that's it You don't want fire Everybody

Where are you going to be West Edmonton Mall Edmonton, Alberta this Thursday, Friday, Saturday I'm excited Come get some tonight tomorrow

The next day It's going to be fun I've been doing I've been doing the West Edmonton Mall The comic strip for 17 years and have had some sick shows

and tomorrow will be no different Why does you say the 20th on there, Bubble? I don't know I don't know what that is That's really weird I gotta get that off San Jose

California January 23 and 24. I'll be with you at that one. Yep. In San Jose? Yeah. Have you been there? It's great.

I've been there. Yeah. Greenville, South Carolina. I'm actually a real nervous about that one. January 30, 31, February 1st. Well, I'm nervous because my girls bringing a bunch of her family members. So I'm like, okay. Oh, damn.

Yeah. And they've never seen me to stand up. So I'm already like, hey, everybody. That'll be cool. All right. Kids, we love you. Real fast. Can I just throw my.

Give it to them. So I'm going to be San Antonio, January 30th, 31st, four shows. then I'm going to be at Off the Hook Naples, February 26th, and then Denver Comedy Works March 8th the day after Brian. Nice, dude. Have you done it featuring for Brian? It's my favorite club in the country. All right, kids, this the fine kid?

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