The Fighter & The Kid - Will Sasso, Chris D'Elia, Andrew Schulz, Chris Distefano & Michael Rapaport | TFATK Ep. 1000

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

We've hit 1000 episodes and stacked up the lineup for the TFATK army. Andrew Schulz, Chris Distefano, Michael Rapaport, Will Sasso and Chris D'Elia join Brendan Schaub and Bryan Callen to reminisce over the good ol' TFATK days and talk Will Sasso's non stop speaking in Italian, Andrew Schulz and Brendan discussing the recent Conor McGregor off of UFC 303 rumors, Chris Distefano's plea to get on Shane Gillis's new "Tires" show, Michael Rapaport wanting to F-up Brendan's ears, Chris D'Elia being in zero gravity and holding crazy grudges and more. Also, the guys answer a ton of your hard hitting fan questions! Kikoff - Get one month free for a dollar at https://getkikoff.com/FIGHTER True Classic - True Classic - Upgrade your wardrobe and get up to 25% OFF @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/FIGHTER ! #trueclassicpod #sponsored Sportsmans Cove Lodge - Sportsmans's Cove Lodge - http://alaskasbestlodge.com/ Use code “TFATK” at checkout for 10% off your first trip! JOYMODE - https://usejoymode.com/fighter or enter code: Fighter at checkout for 20% off your first order Happy Hippo - https://happyhippo.com/pages/brendan-schaub Promo Code: TFATK for 20% OFF for LIFE! Fieldcraft Survival - https://fieldcraftsurvival.com/fighter Use code: Fighter20 for 20% OFF Training and Product

Yes we did, cause we back at it again, it's the fighter and the kid This is really the fighter and the kid Come on baby First thing first, we got a huge show 1000 buddy Do we look at our boy Brian Shout out to Brian Johnson, he's the best Brian Johnson came here and made that for us man

Wow, 1000 fighter and the kid, that's my tattoo guys I just found out the tattoo I'm getting on my very flat chest. And my joke the other day, I said, no matter what I do when I work out, I stay about as muscular as your average mannequin. And that's fine. Now, I wanna just plug Nashville this weekend. I know, Friday, Saturday, Sunday,

Zany's come see me, that's all we're gonna do. That's what we're doing there. This is 1000. Let's go, we got cupcakes. That's all we're gonna do. That's what we're doing with our time, okay? This is 1000. Yep. Let's go, we got cupcakes. Sinaz, you made these cupcakes? I did. Did you make those cupcakes?

I made those. How'd you make them, from what? You know. Scratch. Normal cupcakes. But I did do the funfetti, because I know B likes it. No, but I like this.

I was eating icing out there on my own. You were? I need some energy. Let me taste this. A little energy. Calin's such a... Outstanding. Aw.

The icing's nothing better. I love Sonnats. Dude, 1,000 shows, pal. Buddy. More than that, though. Buddy, I love you. Actually more than that. You sent me a fucking video.

Sorry. I'm sorry. It's really good. You sent me a video, and it was a guy who said, there are a couple guys you can call 3 a.m. Yep. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's really good. You sent me a video and it was a guy who said, there are a couple guys you can call at 3 a.m. And I like that you said it, all you did was send me a video about a soldier saying they're the 3 a.m. friends. I think he was the Navy SEAL. He said 3 a.m. friends. Like you get called 3 a.m. and you just hear them

getting their gear together and you sent that to me. That's all you had to do. That's it. That was our intimacy. That was him saying, you know, that's how friends who are guys talk. We're not saying anything, he just sent me a video. And you're the only friend I sent it to. You're damn right I'm the only friend.

You're fucking right. Notice I didn't send it to the group chats we have. No, dude. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. You guys don't deserve that. No, no, no. Because I don't know. You don't know.

You know with me. Yeah. I gotta do what I gotta do. My wife would be like, what, you guys don't deserve that. No, no, no, I don't know. You don't know you know with me Yeah, I gotta do what I gotta do. My wife would be like, what are you doing? I go I what do you want me to do it? Hey, thanks for the fucking thanks for the thousand episodes Thanks for the fucking 14 years, but I'm I need my sleep. Yeah We've been doing a hot second. Yeah, well I was saying in the post is obviously there's a million podcasts now You gotta realize when we started it was not the the landscape was not like this. No, no first. I think pro athlete comic duo ever No, no, that's that is a fact. Yeah. No, no with the first the first dirty comedian cage fighter. Yep Podcasts podcast. Okay. Yeah you first guys to and this was your thing graphics selling merch

Live podcasts were your idea. Yeah, remember I was like, I don't want to do this come on the road You're like, let's fucking do some live. I'm like live pie. What are we gonna do a live podcast? We started doing that and remember I was like, no, you can't just sit there with mics and talk That's gonna suck for a live experience. Yeah, and then that's where your training came in You're like, oh, would you like improv? I'll have in. You're like, oh, we'll do like improv, we'll have bits. I'm like, yeah, we'll write it all out, have a plan. And nobody cares now. But let me just say this.

If you and I had started now, if we were in our, you know, if you reverse the time, we were just before, we were before people were making that crazy. You know, I think about it is, you remember when we were kids, especially you, but especially me too, when you were kids, there was like seven channels. And those seven channels were popping. They were good.

They were good. And weren't they fun? And there was a lot of talent there. They were good. And then Cable came out. And now Streaming's out. We're one of the original, like Channel 4, Channel 7, Channel 9, and they're fun.

And we're old timers. But now that Streaming's here. Now my dentist has a podcast. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Now my therapist is like, I have a podcast. You want if I use this bit? I'm all right. Whatever, man. So it's just, you know, the, the, the barrier of entry just is blown up and there's a lot of talent and- Or there's not a lot of talent. There's also, there's some, there's a lot of great podcasts. There's a lot of good podcasts, a lot of duos that are good. But then, you know, there's a lot of awful ones, but that's how it goes.

Like there's a lot of horrible shows on Netflix, a lot of great shows. Yeah. But yeah, the beer of entry is nothing now. It was just different, but we also didn't do it like in the post that I made about us. It's also like, yay, keep showing up. Remember I told you that you're like, what are we going to do? I'm like, just show up, man. You said that when we had Connor on, we had Conor McGregor on I remember you said you just looked at me and you go we just keep doing this Can I had a lot of other shit going on? You and I had real come to Jesus moments because I was like

I don't know if I can do the podcast anymore because I'm doing this TV show full-time I'm doing this other thing and you said to me you said you've been at this for a long time, right? If you got to step off, I get it. I remember you said, Oh yeah, I always supportive, but my whole thing with it is like, I didn't know where it was going to lead or if it was going to make a ton of money. I had no clue, but what I did know it was ours. Yeah. And it was magical. It was ours and we had so much fun doing it and it was ours. So it was like, you know, when I was at E and I got fired for, you know, saying to outlandish stuff or whatever it is.

Okay. You know, it was like, okay. Even when like, you know, whatever you lost a gig here or whatever happens, all good. This was the mothership. This was our mothership. Like this, like we could always rely on this and we owned it 100%.

And that was my thing with Fox. Remember with Fox. So we're way over a thousand episodes because when we're at Fox and when we're doing a grind out of Brian's basement when people would call in, it was just audible. And then I was like, all right, let's start doing video. And that's when we talked to Fox. So the thousand start when we were-

My garage, it wasn't a basement, but I like basement. Yeah, your garage, yeah. So Fox gave us the capability to do video, and that's where the thousand starts. So it's way more than a thousand, because the previous ones before that. Remember Fox, it's not their fault. They didn't know how big podcasts it was going to get. And then once we started to get traction, they're like, hold up, you guys have advertisers? I'm like, yeah, isn't it cool?

We got advertisers. Remember, there was no agency deal with me and Brian. We're really, I was dealing with it and, uh, we met a CA was a K we wanted. I'm like, absolutely not. I, we would never give anybody a piece of this ever. That was my number one thing. No, nobody touches this. You and I worked our ass off.

No one's going to touch this. Could we have went farther if we had CA or some of these big management companies that came to us Maybe I don't know but my whole thing was like, nope. We don't want to be censored We don't want anyone to do I remember the first time you sent me a picture of a check that we made No from sponsors and I was like, wait a minute. Hold on. I've been grinding Yeah, and that check just came from us talking, you know I was like wait, we got something here. Because I remember that you were like,

not bad, huh, for two months or something. And I was like, hey, I might be able to pay my bills with this fucking thing. That was a huge thing for me as an actor because I never had any stability ever. Until I was 45. Remember all your acting friends were telling you, leave the pod, it's a bad love, it's cheap.

My agent was like, money on a podcast. My agent had no idea what the fuck. I remember my first wife too, my ex-wife said to me, she said, because we were doing the podcast for a while and we were just showing up, I wasn't trying to do anything. And she goes, God, your podcast is so damn funny. You guys kill me. I went, you're listening to it?

She goes, yeah, it's so quick and funny. It's just so entertaining. And I was like, really? Like, I didn't get it. But let's take a little break on episode 1,000. 1,000. It's a big deal. And I was like, really? Like I didn't get it. But let's take a little break on episode 1000. It's a big deal, dude. Yeah. You know what's a big deal is buying a home, dude.

If you have bad credit. Oh my God, dude. If you have bad or below average credit. We've both been through trying to buy a home and the stress. Dude, try buying a home, a car, even just moving to a new apartment. If you have bad credit, what are you going to do? I got some for you. Kick off.

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at getkickoff.com slash fighter today that's get kick off kick without the c that's k i k o f f so it's get k i k o f f dot com slash fighter special offer applies to new kickoff premium customers for their first month only subject to approval and only available at get kickoff comm slash fighter terms of offer subject to change get kickoff comm What's up, Andrew? Who never forgets us? It's a never ever once. Oh, wow. This is cool. It asks you if it's okay that somebody's recording That's nice. You see that to know Is this okay the the background, are we cool with that? I'm just like holding my phone.

No, it's a beige background. You can see that expensive painting behind you or maybe it's a photograph. Is this your house, Shulte? Does he have my bedroom? It's not a house, it's a mansion. It's a manor. Well, it's New York, so it's like two bedrooms, right?

Yeah, barely. That's a mansion on New York. You live in a box, no matter how rich you are in New York, I don't careroom? Yeah, yeah, barely. That's a mansion. I live in a box No matter how rich you are in New York. I don't care what it is. It's a box Brother how we live how's life the new dad fresh off the network rose like dude Yeah, these are cool man. The new dad shit is the coolest. I'll be honest with you. Isn't that great? I'm a new dad we went to we went to Music class today. Really? How old is your boy? Girl? Girl? Girl? Girl? Girl?

Four months old. You've chosen you've chosen your baby's gender. It's not a baby. It's great. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And so yeah, we have music classes. Music classes for me just. I mean, they'll just find any way to just take your money. That's what I realized about this is like like we were doing it and they were like, let's meet at this building and it wasn't even in the building.

It was just on the grass and it was like, and this was the thing that bothered me the most is that it was on the water, but they, the teachers had the view of the water. I think bare minimum, if we're going to pay for a class that's on the grass randomly, like anybody could have just showed up and they could have told me, what am I not going to, I'm going to tell my kid to not sing while these people are singing and doing the song. But yeah, you guys get it. This is something you'll see. You'll see, cause my kids are in Santa Monica.

There is an entire industry dedicated to making sure that your kids' non-problems are taken care of. And at the slightest, at the slightest ADHD, maybe there's another thing. Maybe your kid should have a minder, maybe your kid should check in with this specialist, and after a while you're like, oh, I'm getting fucking gamed. I'm getting gamed.

It's a business. Schultz, you had Dana White on your podcast recently. Yeah. Usually when Dana's on a pod, I know most of it, right? Like I'm in the business, so I usually won't listen, but I had to listen to yours. I listened to the whole thing. I was, you know this, I'm a huge fan of the show. So I listened to the whole thing.

I enjoyed it because especially your perspective of things that ask some certain questions, but I thought for sure you were gonna be the guy when Dana goes yeah slap fight has more followers than Real Madrid I thought 100% you or the boys would be like well Dana and it's not Dana's fault like I think someone told him that and he's just you know he's 50 he doesn't know I thought for sure you'd like but that's not real so he got he had he brought it on the pot you can see on the pot he has this like list of you know, basically like statistics of the success of flap flap fighting whatever

slap fighting and And I think what I assume it is is that The show gets insane ratings on like it's impossible to keep scrolling while two people are about to slap each other. That's like not physically possible. Right? So you're going to get more views than like a soccer, a cool goal or like a random picture of Ronaldo or some shit like that.

But there's no way that the league has more followers in Real Madrid. Right? You know what I mean? Like, of course that's not going to happen. But what's really interesting, and I don't know if he was talking about this in the pod or afterwards, but the entire story of UFC, and I don't know if this was pre-pod or after the pod or during the pod that he was talking about this, but everything, I get why he's so bullish on slap fighting.

Because everybody, the things that people said about the UFC the entire time they were building it are the exact things that people say about slap fighting. Oh, this is grotesque. This is brutal. These are just destroying these people who are these guys. There are a bunch of guys that, you know, they're, they're working at home depot. They're just dragging them out here.

They're like, everything makes the same early days. You have to see, cause when I first saw the slap I told Dana I was like, bro I don't really get it. It's not really for me. But every time it comes up on my Instagram I'm watching that shit every single time I can't really I can't really for me it doesn't But have you ever watched to be like real like I was super pretty Yeah outspoken like what the hell are we doing my only only issue and like, I don't doubt Dana, right? The guys hits home runs.

All he does is hit home runs. Hold on one second. What's that? Oh, no, sorry. Go, go, go. All Dana does is, all he does is hit home runs. He knocks it out of the park every time. So I'm not doubting that.

My issue was with the whole slap fight thing is it was on the UFC feed. So they were pushing the narrative of, hey, all you guys are gonna like slap fight thing is it was on the UFC feed so they were pushing the narrative of Hey, all you guys are like slap fight if you like UFC I'm like do your thing but don't force it on me if that makes sense like just have it your own thing Yo, you know when you when you just gonna be like my bad Dana. I've already done that back to the shows Invite me back to the no, no, we're good No, we have no we're good no we don't know we're good we're good bro I'm driving the wedge no not at all

people think that no mean they're good go just go just go my bad bro you know they know I want to go to the fights I'm gonna sit up there with the boys the ring is the ring it's like bro the second like and that's why I want to learn the whole story is because when you learn the whole story of things You have a lot different perspective Yeah, I'm like what the fuck is the real story of the UFC when I find out there 40 million in debt Like 40 right now right now In the early 12 billion right now, right? Right? They they they funded the fighter show Themselves the ultimate fighter themselves

They put all the money up themselves because the network wouldn't fucking put it up like the amount of times now granted They have an investment fund but investment funds have to show the frititas have to show return You can't just keep dumping money into some shit that everybody says you're an absolute lunatic for doing So the fact that they put that much in that much time Blood sweat and tears are like I get it like it's a you have a different perspective for it Just say my bad. Yeah Shots you're not gonna sit front row Behind you

Bitches you can sit with the star. Hey, don't do be like that No, you can sit up in the in the 100 area 100 don't work yourself down work yourself down I'll put one call in the Rogan and it put me right behind him. I might get assassinated No, but me and my happen me and Dana are cool. Like there's no beef between us even on the UFC 300 thing I was like why bring up old shit, you know, but I was like, respect, UFC 300 was dope. Me and him are good. Everyone thinks like this is ongoing beef. I got nothing to respect for him.

I love that guy. I want to ask you a question. As a guy who's always ahead of the trend in a way, you know, slap fighting reminds me of the fact that like people's attention span is so short. Like nobody's even watching a whole special. It's like, why even do an hour when you know at the end of the day, they're going to watch 20 minutes of it, maybe less, even, even when you post a joke. So like, what, what do you think? Is that going

to come back? What do you think? I think the Tom, I think the Tom Brady shit broke that. Yeah. Yeah. Cause the Tom Brady shit was three hours long or whatever the fuck. Like I remember sitting up there. I had to take two pee breaks. Like I'm looking at the guy who owns the Patriots craft or whatever. I'm like, there's no way you don't have to be. I had to leave during Bert and Tom's set so I could go pee.

Like, so I'm looking at this and I'm like three hours later. And then everybody in the world fucking watch it. Yeah, it's insane. The amount of people that was also a watershed moment because it was it was a bunch of guys who now and gals who were who were being as off color and politically incorrect and using words that would get you canceled normally. And yeah, it was like, you know, enough of this bullshit. I think like, like oftentimes, like

there's an impactful event, right? And that impactful events is evidence that the tide has changed. Yeah, but the tide changes before like the cancel culture shit and like staying whatever you want to say was done maybe like two years ago, maybe a year ago. I don't know like a year ago. It's maybe two years ago. It starts to change. Maybe like a year ago. It's maybe two years ago. It starts to change maybe like a year ago It's really like okay. We're pretty good But that was the moment. I think they're like everybody realized. Okay, you could say whatever you want now now Human beings are gonna do what we do with everything which is fucking ruin it Yeah, like the second the second the cancel culture shit is wrong is over now

You know all these people like white people and then internet are like well, why can't I say the n-word? It's like now all of a sudden. They're gonna fuck it up for everybody yeah, and they're gonna go crazy on the say whatever you want shit and Then all the sudden the pendulum is gonna swing back and that is just what happens over and over again throughout history They've had but right now we're in this nice little pocket where you can say whatever you want so enjoy Yeah, how long it last where so if you can say what you can say whatever you want? So so just running you just say I'm sorry Apologize about what I said about the UFC account in the slap account

What who's getting the views or whatever? Everything is okay because we want you there. I want you there. I want to watch the fight with you I'll take it. I want to know what's going on Brandone there. Yep. Are you gonna be do you go to the one was last time you went to a fight? He goes a bunch right? I went to Abu Dhabi. That might have been the last one I was doing I was doing a show there as well. So I watched that one. Yep. I'll be at the 29th. You're gonna be there on 29th Vegas. Where is it? Where that's the fight? Connor is not gonna fight but that he's supposed to on that. Yeah. Okay. So what's the deal

with that? Do you guys think that that fight is gonna happen? It's not happening. Well, you know that for a fact? Mm hmm. Yes. Is that it? Is it? Is this breaking news? Do we have breaking news? You would probably bet a lot of your money on the fact that it's not going to happen. Let's put it that way. Yes.

Listen. Yes, I completely get that 100%. There's a thing. It's like, do you want it to happen? Absolutely. Do you hope when you see Connor partying at his club that it's just all gamesmanship and he wants everybody to be like Hey, I'm not really training but then maybe he is But I just the feeling that I have is like oh, but why do you know it's not gonna happen tell me

I'll take off there. Hey, I'll take off there there But Dave if you're a Connor fan get your money back Wow, you were just back in Dana's good graces, man. It's so crazy. You were like right there I'll himself and then he throws it all away. Can't just what? I'm trying to help my boy I was trying to y'all don't want you get the wife the kid all together flying to Vegas and you're hoping you see Connor doesn't Happen I'm trying to help you out Dana understands that No, no, no, I'm not doing I'm not doing anything. I'm chilling this summer I got to take most of this summer off, but maybe for Connor that would be fucking that would be fucking unreal

Wait, wait, does Connor wait a minute. Here we go. Does Connor step in for Tyson? No I mean, he's the only person that could step in and then the fight still goes on. That's rather intriguing. He's the only, who else could step in and then the fight goes on? Like, I don't want to see Jake fight Logan. I don't give a fuck. No, I think Jake's going to fight Mike Perry. But that, that, hold on, but that you're conflicting, that's not a replacement of Mike Tyson.

Mike Tyson and Jake are still fighting, but it's not till December. Gotcha. November, I think. November or December. Yeah. End of the year. Yeah. Love to see that. I'd love to see the trash talking. I'd love to see the whole thing go on, but just logistically it's never happening, right? Cause he has one fight left on his UFC. It's fun to talk about, but the UFC would never allow that. Yeah. He's got to fight. He's got to fight one more.

I'm trying to think of the people that have the cache, that have the pull to fill that void the void of Mike Tyson being there. The only other human being that I can think that has enough star power at this point is Connor. I agree. Yeah. Like who I'm trying to think who else who else to step in from Mike Tyson. Yeah.

And it's not about skills. It's about like, who else does the world care about every single fucking breath they take? Yep. Like casuals. That's, that's, that's what makes it so fight Ben Affleck. I don't know. No, no, it's not even been athlete. It's Rogan. It's Rogan and, and Connor McGregor, the only people that could step in for my life. Human beings, a hundred percent step in for my life. Those are the only two human beings that could step in for my life.

As long as Rogan can kick and grapple, it might be interesting. Oh dude, that would be, are you kidding me? That would be bigger than Tyson. Yeah, I agree. I genuinely believe if Rogan says I'll fight Jake Paul, that's the biggest fight in history. That's big enough for him.

Rogan has the opportunity to not only have the biggest fight in history. That's bigger than Tyson. Rogan had the opportunity to not only have the biggest fight. The biggest fight ever. The biggest fight ever. The biggest fight ever. He just out trumps everybody. It's just him winning at all. Yeah, yeah, just winning. Just killing.

I remember a long time he was going to fight Wesley Snipes and I think Wesley got a hold of saw him hitting mitts and kicking and Wesley was like, I don't think this is a good idea. But I remember, he was just training. Oh, they was legit about to go down. I was like, what are you up to? He was like, I'm just training, I'm training. They had contracts and everything. It was this close to happening, this close.

He was training all the time. Cause I saw him and I was like, what's up? He goes, I'm just training all the time now. I'm getting ready for my fight with Wesley. Cause Wesley's a thick dude. You know, athletic and strong, but it it was when this was 15 years ago. He's about to fuck up Blade. Yeah.

And I think that's bad for the brand you can as an action hero get knocked the fuck out. Well yeah, Wesley had done a lot of dancing and he'd done some karate but then he saw Rogan's a psycho. Yeah, he did a lot. He did a lot of training a white man can't jump dude You know, he's athletic athletic strong. Yo, I think I think I think Rogan's taken out Jake Paul in an MMA fight And like no question with the black belt. The only issue is he's 50. What is he? 57? 57? That's the issue Yeah, but he's also like a science experiment

That's like you don't know yes, Like he might be 57 in like human years, but we don't know what he is in science. All that HGH like Uber, Rogan, whatever he's got going on. It's like, I think, Oh my God, I think in an MMA fight, it's interesting. I mean, he just starts chewing up the legs. Like what if he just starts kicking them in the legs? If it goes on the ground for jujitsu, I don't know what Jake's jujitsu pedigree is, but he's in trouble. He'd be in trouble. So it's going to fucking time up. Like, so Jake's got to keep it on the feet. Yeah.

The only issue is Rogan's wrestling. You don't have any wrestling back. No wrestling. He has no takedown. And Jake does. Do you need, do you need wrestling? To get somebody down. Joe has literally, he'll tell you himself, he is, he is not a wrestler. He has no chance. He could jump half cart though. Yeah, maybe, yeah.

Or get punched in the face when you do that. It's a... But let Jake take him down, and now we're in Jiu Jitsu. Correct. Yeah, but I don't think Jake's gonna take Joe down. Jake's gonna know Joe's a black belt, so Jake's gonna keep it on his feet. Joe doesn't have a way to get Jake on the ground.

You know what the problem with all this is much I'd love to see? It's never happening. Well, Rogan has too much goddamn money that we can't talk him into this. I was gonna say that. Yo, but he likes doing shit that scares him. Like everything, every habit he has,

everything that he's into is like something that is hard. No, no, no, no. Like there's no, this is what he'd say to you. I know what he'd say. Cause I was, I was boxing and sparring and he was like, don't do that anymore. And I was like, well, he goes, because you don't want to get, you don't want to get CT.

And so to get to, and in order to get ready for a fight with Jake, you'd have to spar. Which means you're going to get hit in the head and he's not getting hit in the head even once. He just does not want to do that. It would be bad. And then he always says, I don't need to be more famous. We're more rich.

I've got it. I think he's good. Yeah. I more rich. I've got I think he's good Yeah, sure sure. So I do though I do Right now we'll fucking fight Jake Paul right now. I need I need whatever I got Why do you why do you think you could fuck me up? That's And I almost I almost hit up this Egyptian boxing coach like, yo, we got a fight coming up. We really got to get after it. Hosam Abdi. Hosam Abdi, we have a fight.

You're an athletic guy. You don't have my experience. What experience? You'd have to pack a lunch. How many fights you got? How many fights you got? I mean, you know, I did a lot of kickboxing. How many smokers? You ever have a pack a lot of fights you got how many fights you got I mean that you know I did a lot of like look at by things not not like smokers you ever have a smoker I guess smokers, but I spar I actually fought a lot

Experience, but he has more in college. I fought a lot of like around the country and tournaments Smokers it was it was a kickboxing punching kicking to the head When I first I've ever heard of and by the way, it was a kickboxing punching kicking to the head. So when I first I've ever heard of Full contact all full contact. That's where you do. This is real. No, no, no, no, no take that's about as a wrestler I wrestled, you know Most of my life you if you fought against another guy and there was something to be won Not just sparring but like somebody won you have way more experience than me if you did tournaments around the country. I have a lot more experience.

Even though when you said that, you and I and Brendan didn't believe it, but you did say it. I don't mind it at all. You didn't believe it. No, you would say it. I mean, if you really ask him, if you really ask him without ribbing,

I wouldn't say you toured all over the country fighting. But I did when I was in college. But that's the first I've heard of it. That's the first I've heard of it. That's the first I've heard of it. But that's what I did. I'm just saying I never heard of it. You want to hear something even better? You want to hear something even better?

In 1988, I won the American Taekwondo Championship. No, now Taekwondo I know. But in college, what was the association? We were actually punching full and thinking. What was the association? American Taekwondo Association. So it's Taekwondo. That's completely different than actually boxing, fighting.

No, I know, but we were fighting full contact. In Taekwondo Association. So it's Taekwondo? Yeah. That's completely different than actually boxing, fighting. No, I know, but we were fighting full contact. In Taekwondo though? Yes. Yes. Okay. But wait, but the only difference was, I think the reason I won, not because I was good, but we were practicing, like we would throw hands like boxers. You know, we were doing that.

It's not typical Taekwondo because Taekwondo, you're not allowed to throw hooks or something. No, it wasn't. It wasn't at all typical. You just sit as Taekwondo. It wasn't at all typical. So Taekwondo you're not allowed to throw hooks. No, it wasn't at all typical. You just hit it as taekwondo. It wasn't at all typical. So taekwondo most of the time is point fighting. I never did point fighting once. The tournaments I was in, people were kicking and trying to knock each other out and getting knocked out.

So there was a little bit of a difference. But the reason I never talk about it, the only reason you never heard about it is that very simply, I've said this before, you'll never hear me talk about my taekwondo days and here's why. Cause we never punched to the face. And if you don't punch the face and just to the body in tournaments, it doesn't count to me. Now I boxed, I boxed a lot in a gym and sparred a lot. I'm almost positive you said you were punching to the face about 60 seconds ago. 60 to 120 seconds ago. No, no, no. There's a lot of holes.

There's a lot of holes. I did train. The biggest hole is this. Nobody in history has ever said this sentence. I toured the country fighting. Nobody's ever said that. That's not comedy, right? It sounds like comedy.

It seems like I turned the company to the country and then he speeches and fight. And then he's so defensive. He's defensive about it. I've never heard me talk about it because I don't. I turned the company, I turned the company, to take each speeches and fight. And then he's so defensive. He's defensive about it too. I've never talked about it. You've never heard me talk about it because I don't, I, because I don't talk about it. I think you're a professional comedian.

I think you've been a professional comedian for decades and you're, and you're conflating those two things. I like where you're thinking. I like where you're thinking. Here's where I'm going to go. I'm going to go through my whole fight pedigree. Judo, Judo as a kid, where I did do tournaments, not a big deal.

What age though? Wrestling, starting at like nine. That's what got me into wrestling. So I went to America for the first time at 14 and became a wrestler. Wrestled all four years in high school, in earnest, went to Dan Gable's camp, and then-

Oh wow. And then- Hold on, hold on. How successful of a wrestler were you in high school? I was really good, to be honest with you. State champ? Gables camp and then well and then and then hold on hold up how Successful of wrestler in high school. I was really good to be honest with state state champ So I was I was I took third in the all-new englands at MIT and the all-new england tournament was Tournament where everybody from public school and all the private schools would go to wrestle so I took third there and then and then I 139 I think in my senior year. And then I was seated 16th at the nationals in Lehigh.

16th is not a big deal. It's like, that's not even worth mentioning. So I was okay. I was pretty good wrestler. And then the guy I'd beaten at American university, which was a D1 program, I had beaten and he was starting. So I went to wrestle there. And then I-

Not on scholarship though? No. So you walked on- I walked on, you know, but I didn't even walk on because I talked to the coach and then I had a back injury. And I think it was because I couldn't stand losing the weight and I'd gone to Dan Gable's wrestling camp for two weeks.

And I was like, if this is D1 wrestling, fuck off. I don't want to do it. I just didn't want to do it. So I think I gave myself a psychosomatic back injury. And then I saw these guys kicking and punching on a level I'd never seen. And I was like, I want to learn how to do that. So I do, I do martial arts and guess what I learned. Here's another thing I never talked about.

I realized that for me to be good at taekwondo or full contact kickboxing or whatever, I had to set up patterns. And I realized that there were guys that could beat me with no problem. And I was like, I'll never be a champion at this shit. And every time you go to practice in my studio, you could get knocked out. So you're always fucking nervous. It was always scary. Always. That's why whenever I would box and Wayne McCullough would go, you're sparring today,

I'd be like, ah fuck. So remember when I said to you, I go, I'm getting dizzy. Because I was getting hit too much. And you were like, keep it up dude at your age. I did taekwondo for one week. My dad signed me up for it. I went, this is gay. And I walked out. But what I was doing, it was pretty, those guys dude at your age. I did taekwondo for one week, my dad signed me up for it. I went, this is gay and I walked out. Yeah.

But what I was doing, it was pretty, those guys can kick your head off and we was pretty good and we were fighting. But the point is, I've done enough of it. I'm a Hensou Blue Belt in Jiu Jitsu. I still roll. What's up, Schultz? I still box now.

What's up, bro? Talk that shit now, dog. Talk that shit now. I'm also old. I'm, I'm, well, jujitsu we're not talking about. I don't know how to do jujitsu. That shit is mad uncomfortable. Like I saw you. Everything about it is uncomfortable. It's been boxing for a while. Anybody can hit myths. Yeah.

I think that if you have a decent amount of coordination, you can hit me. Yes. Yes. I don't know how much we can tell about hitting that. You can't always bring up this. No, I'm saying I saw you hit this, but it's not, it's hit me. I don't know how much we can tell about hitting that you can't always bring up this. I'm saying I saw you hit miss but it's not it's not boxing. No, you know, the biggest difference for me, at least I've experienced when it comes to boxing, my very little experiences is when I was boxing back in the day in college is a is just comfort while punches are being thrown at you. Yes, I'm comfortable. Are you

sitting in there? How comfortable are you with distance and that kind of stuff? So if what you're saying is you've been in these tournaments where your people are punching you in the face and, you know, well, I don't know if they are doing that. You can't punch the face. That's why I never talk about. So just kicking. Just no punch to the face.

Just to the body. I'm going to maul you. I'm going to absolutely maul you. Hold on. Hold your, hold it. You've been in a situation where you're getting punched in the face. Just to the body. I'm going to maul you. I'm going to absolutely maul you. No, no, no. Hold on. Hold your... You've been in a situation where you're getting punched in the face.

You did a lot of sparring though. That's different. No, did a lot of sparring where I was punching in the face. A lot of sparring. I don't know. I mean, how hard are we talking about? Well, we got to get Wayne... I'll let you talk to Wayne McCulloch, who used to throw me in there with a lot of guys.

We talked about practice, right? We talked about practice. Wayne McCulloch was a world champion. He was my teacher. We talked about practice. Wayne McCullough was the world champion. He was my teacher. We talk about practice. I would spar a lot, lot. So, I'm pretty comfortable in that arena. If you and I are going to go at it, it's going to be, you're going to have your hands full.

I'll give you that. I might. I might. Look, you're a tall kid. I got to get under your jab. But I'm going to give you some props. This is how it's going to go. This is too successful now to do it though. Tell is shoulders successful now to do it. That's the buzzers. That's gonna go. Yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna faint my jab at your head

You're gonna fit I'm just gonna start popping you to the stomach Really and then you're just gonna feel a little bit uncomfortable But but I'm just gonna touch you and then you're gonna realize that the distance is a lot further than you thought it was a problem And then you're gonna realize that the distance is a lot further than you thought it was a problem Yeah, and then I'm gonna start hitting you upstairs because those arms gonna come come down. Oh, I'm not gonna really Exactly, so I'm not gonna really release anything you're gonna pepper then I'm not even gonna throw the right hand. I'm not really gonna throw the right hand. That's a Yeah, it's just it's nothing. It's not even doing anything, Right. I don't even know if I have the footwork at this point to really basketball. So you got some footwork.

You're probably you're younger, a little bit, you know, you're not as this is sports. This is gonna happen. I'm going to instead throw in the jab. Yeah, I'm gonna open up and I'm gonna throw kind of like a soft hook. I got it. It's not even to be that big. I got you. And the right hand is going to follow it. And then we're gonna stop sparring. Now let me ask you this question. Let me ask you this question. Yeah, when I'm getting out when I'm getting under your

jab, and I'm and I'm and I'm and I'm getting under the jab. There's no getting under the jab. There's no punishing the midsection. No, there's no get like you got a lot of getting under. I feel like your no punishing the midsection. No. There's no getting under. I feel like your midsection is the whole country of possibilities. And I mean, I get that. I'm all legs. You're going to see my legs spread.

Right. And you're going to see the distance with the arms. And you're just going to go, what was I thinking? Right. So what if I catch angles, though, if I start stepping to the side? Now I'm throwing. And I've been throwing a long time. I've been throwing my hands a long time. So now my balance is a little better than

you thought. I think both of you break your noses though. Let's just go let's say that. Let's borrow the bar. I'm wearing the fucking yeah I'm wearing a bike. Maybe we maybe football helmets. You know what I mean? Nothing. Nothing's getting hurt here. By the way, by the way, one of the problems with boxing is that if you're boxing, I would feel very awkward actually punching your face because I like you. I feel uncomfortable. Yeah, I went through that as well when I would like spar with guys that I liked where it's like

I either had to be really close friends with you and you know that I wouldn't hurt you and like we were good. But the people that I was like kind of friends with, I felt really weird. Like if I would crack them, it wouldn't feel weird when they hit me weirdly enough. And they would get hit all the fucking time. But I would feel like I would feel that it's the strangers. I felt more comfortable.

Yes, it would be very awkward. I would get no I would get no satisfaction from like hooking you and actually hurting you where you have to take a second. That doesn't make me feel good. That's why the pros, we would pay guys. So you would be like, all right, if I knock him out, at least he's getting paid. Yes. You knock him out, he's at least getting a check.

Yeah, because two jokers like us, you and I might start swinging and somebody's going to connect and then somebody gets, like you're having trouble chewing, you know, it's just, it's like, ah, I feel like you've cleaned up your diet too. Not that you were ever fat. You've already been thin, but your, your face looks different. Now you're a little, little Hollywood, a little more famous, whatever. I'm falling apart. Brendan, I am my heaviest I've ever been.

No, I am. I put on the baby weights. I am playing paddle, which is or Cadell, which is the most amazing sport I've ever played in my entire life. I'm absolutely addicted. I'm I'm playing it three times a week. I'm obsessed with the sport. But what the sport does is it's not even paddle tennis. I know we're getting old now. paddle tennis is a country club sport. I knew you grew up rich. You fucking wasp.

Tennis is a country club sport. I knew you grew up rich. You fucking wasp. This is, this is, this is Padel. And, uh, but what it does is it makes you fat. Like for whatever reason, the way that you burn calories, they just come right back. It's not pickle ball. Not pickle ball. It's very insulting. Pickle ball is the taekwondo of records. It's very insulting. Pickleball is the taekwondo of records. I do pickleball and taekwondo, so I shouldn't even talk to you about fighting or sports. Bro, can you please stop playing pickleball and play paddle? I know I'm going to connect you with the guy in LA.

I play paddle. We play is paddle the one where it's a it's a it's a hard ball. It's a hard. No, it's a it's a little different. It's a hard No, it's a little it's a little different Yeah, and a solid racket right is that right would rack it Yeah, but you play a little different one in you don't know cricket Andrew. You talk about cricket you play cricket No, the the No, the the Delos It is it is it is it is a it's a game from the hood the hoods of Acapulco, Mexico You know, it's a great game. You guys should try it. You can ball your athletic. I've seen you play basketball

I used to play that I know I can who growing up I can't whoop anymore like I'm my whole body's broken down But uh, just why I'm playing racquet sports why why the fuck your body broken down from what I know from telling jokes from being successful? I thought it's all jokes. No. No, I uh, I don't know maybe like I Maybe I maybe my ceiling wasn't that high but I pushed it to the ceiling I got yeah as a kid if that makes sense, right at heart like I yeah I gave it everything I got in order to be competitive, but I really was just revving it to the Track

Your I texted you about this you're that video you did when you show your dad that you're playing Madison Square Garden Was I actually teared up. It was so beautiful, dude. That was, that was the goal, right? Schulte. That was the goal. When you guys tell my dad, I'm playing Xanis this weekend. I've come a long way.

Glad. I'm glad you, uh, I'm glad you enjoyed it. We, uh, we had to hire an actor to play my dad. He wasn't available, but it really seemed to, it really seemed to, you know, keep people in their heartstrings. Your dad's a real man though. He gave, that was such a dad reaction.

No emotion. He just went, ah. With the fist pump? Yeah, yeah. Great. I mean, he's also riddled with dementia. So it's a little bit tricky for him. Like we're just, we're just waiting to kind of know. I mean,

this is crazy. Where's your dad live? He lives in the city. Yeah, my mom and dad live in live in the city. They live in the same place where we grew up. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Real New Yorker. They live in the same place. Yeah, man. Yeah, it's pretty. And what did your dad do? I don't think I ever asked you that. What did your dad do? So my dad, my parents ran a dance studio. My mom was a

ballroom dance to teacher and she had a ballroom dance studio. She was a three-time US ballroom dance champion Yeah, bro. How was your dancing? I? Can do a little bit. I got the basics down. I wasn't like What he brought up in the school, but my dad was like he used to used to be a news reporter in Baltimore and then he used to Produce the news for NBC when he moved up to New York. He's a big boxing fan too, right? Oh dude, he was, I mean, he was, he was like, yeah, he was my son.

He would work for WBAL, which is where Oprah worked like back in the days. And, um, yeah, well, no, she, I think when she was younger and just like talented and but yeah, this yeah, it's funny. Yeah. He would go to Ali's camp all the time and like he has like this footage of him like interviewing Ali and Ali like talking shit and like, wow, he would just be out there. I mean, he interviewed Ali before he fought Foreman and like, you know, Ali told him and everybody's like, how the hell are you going to beat this guy?

And I was like, not only am I going to beat him, I'm knocking him out. Yeah. Shultz, like what are you talking about? That's amazing. You know, Shultz, he knows boxing. I want to apologize. Shultz knows boxing better than I do.

I want to apologize to you. I shouldn't be talking boxing with you. Like current boxing. Shultz knows boxing better than I do. The guy can dance, he can dance and he can strike. I don't want to be part of that. So you want to talk MMA about it? You bring up your own. I need the clicks.

So let's box. Just do. We'll do one round so I can promote my dates. And show it to you. Exactly. We got to get you out of assume. But I want to ask you, are you at the point now? Because flagrant has been going on for how long?

Well, that's a great question. I don't know. I don't know. I think years. No, it's got great question. I don't know. I don't know I think yours No, it's got to be longer than that Brilliant spout over 10. Yeah, I think brilliant might be that we did 500 episodes of brilliant We just we just did that and you do one a week And we do one a week. Yeah, okay, and so then flagrant. I'm not exactly sure but what do you say? I was gonna ask you are you at the point?

I haven't run run into it on this show, but with some I like fighting shows where you do it so long The guest you have reoccurring guests, but then after that you just kind of like I I'm just gonna do it with the boys man Like are you guys there yet? Cuz you've had like some crazy guest on but I'm like I wonder what he's gonna do next You've tried mix it up a little bit like you've all see Especially, you know what you met Rogan something you've got really in the UFC So you have like Izzy on and sugar and the boys so you've kind of branched out into MMA You've branched out and kind of that the history stuff with the guy with the pyramids like I see you doing that

Yeah, and to me I'm like, oh he's trying to it's not that you're looking for new fans But you're looking for stuff to like get you excited Exactly like for me. It's like, I just want to, I want, I have to want to talk to that person. You know what I mean? Like I have to want to talk to that person and want to chop it up. And I'm curious about you. And, uh, I, I think that's what's going to drive it. And then the thing is that like sometimes the people that you

want to talk to aren't going to be big episodes, but that doesn't matter. Like, I think you just have to accept that. Like when you're going into it, you just have to be like, okay, you know how to game the system. There is a way to game the system. And if you only do that, then I think you're a grifter. And there's a lot of people on the internet that are just these grifters. They let the algorithm decide what their content is a lot of them right like and you could you could tell who they are because you could just look at the beginning of the videos they made and the videos they made once they started getting views and they're like oh this is what I will do right and it's like so what I don't want is us to do that so what I do love and the whole basis of the show is just like you know hanging out with the boys and talking shit I love that I do love and the whole basis of the show is just like, you know, hanging out with the boys and talking shit. I love that. I also love interviewing people I'm curious about or admire. And I think that has to drive the show.

And then sometimes we get to interview these people and there are these like huge breakout episodes, like the day and a wedding. So it's fucking great. And it's awesome. And like, it's not me. I really admire. And he, I thought it was like unique and different. And like he was really want to share And that was great. And then there's episode this week where we're just fucking making fun of uh, oh Shit, hold on. You're gonna march grandma. Yeah, we're making fun of Mark's grandma mark This is a mark goes man

My grandma had a stroke man, and and he's like how's your grandma and what is the 97 Schultz? He goes she was in World War two and he's like, how's your grandma? And what is the 97 Schulte goes, she was in world war two. And he's like, yeah, how old was she? He's like, I don't know, like 19. And she was like, she was in England. She was like in the bunker. He's like, damn, they get wild down there. She's getting spit fire down there.

Or what'd you say? Spit for it to some shit. Spit roasted. And then we just were just saying, why did you like, you know, we lit them up for like maybe 15 minutes. That's what your friends should do. His grandma.

Yeah, but then at the end of it, he goes, well, yeah, she died from the fucking heart attack. Silence, silence. And then we just went to a break where I told everybody his date. Yes. It's like, by the way, by the be here. By the way, I'll be. And moving on. I love Akash too. Yeah, it's great.

We know you guys get going, brother. But she didn't die, actually. No, she didn't die. She's alive. Yeah, he's been here. He's great. That's hilarious. Yeah.

But we love you, brother. You're one of the originals. You too, man. Love you. Next time I'm out there, we gotta get an episode in, man. Please. Let us know, brother. We appreciate you, man.

Standing invite always. You're the best, pal. Keep crushing it, brother. Tweet about my dates, buddy. Thank you so much, Brian Kelly. I will, bye. You guys should fight. Yes, bye. Standing invite always. You're the best pal. Keep crushing it brother. Tweet about my dates buddy. Thank you so much Brian Kelly. You guys should fight. I love them. Let's take a break.

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These are these athletic long shirts. It's like the dry fit vibe. It's a dry fit. Dude, I got their socks on? I got the tee on. I got the undies on. I need socks. Yeah, bud.

I love it. I'm going to go next door. Yeah. True classic. I like their, their, uh, they have the jacket coat. Yeah. I wear that when I travel now.

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25%. That's right. Discover the perfect blend of summer vibes and timeless elegance with true classic shop now, elevate your summer wardrobe with ease. That's true classic. Yeah, it's you perfect elevate your summer wardrobe with ease That's true classic comm slash fight look like me me me. Yeah The only time I ever see chin anymore is on wiki feet He's not like, you know, you got you yeah, dude, you got nice a What are we is this a fucking Andrew Schultz turn the phone video

Much better. That's a Tesla. It's fucking disgusting. You still got your hair and everything, dude Yeah, dude What's up fellas? What's up? What's up, brother teeth a crooked smile blue fucking eyes dude straight teeth and a clean asshole because I saw an IG Clean out your asshole Were you doing with Mateo Lane? Absolutely, I've joined the gay army. Yeah, he's douche in his ass. Mateo Lanes are very funny, dude. He cracks me up that guy He's great. Dude, Mateo Lane is funny man. And the thing that I like about him is after every episode

We just started a new little podcast called Teach Me Daddy. He lets me lick peanut butter and jelly out of his belly button off each ab. Okay, and is that gay or what is that about? Nutrient? No, dude, that's called getting protein. That's called being keto, all right? Got it.

You fucking homo? No, no, no, I'm not saying, but one time you sent me, I think a video of me, I was on TV and then the camera drifted down and your you had your shorts were tenting So yeah, that's not appropriate. That's not appropriate. That's a long tongue. He's a long tongue You're a passionate about that. Could see what you've been up to pal that what you've been up to but besides what? Yes, what do you what are you doing, man? Good? I'm fucking I've been um um I work at a fruit store now

Wow so I got Yeah, I said, I'm not doing this shit anymore. So now I sell fruits and vegetables on Austin Street in Queens, New York Okay, I got a deal on cantaloupes that'll blow your mind. I'll give you three cantaloupes right now for a dollar fifty Deal on cantaloupes that'll blow your mind. I'll give you three cantaloupes right now for a dollar fifty I got everything you want. We got fresh-cut flowers. We'll take care of you guys for Father's Day. Yeah, we got anything you want I'm the only guy I'm the only guy in Queens and I'm selling persimmons. You don't see for cinnamon in New York City I got them all day sim and I got a nice little yep, and I got a nice little Japanese guy keep in the basement He lives there rent-free and he'll chop up a nice piece of watermelon with a fucking machete

Really there for you and that yeah, he sits on the floor outside right on Queen's They don't need breaks those people Chris this is fucking really that's really kind of like you're speaking like you live in the 80s I mean come on a Chrissy. Yeah, when you went out Rogan, he said you sold your house you live in the 80s. I mean, come on. Hey, Chrissy Hey when you went on roguing, he said you sold your house. Did you actually sell your house that I went to? You better believe baby. I sold and I opened up a fruit and vegetable store on austin street in queens new york You already said that no you said that you sell persimmons, you know, it's persimmons not persimmon But maybe you sell persimmon as well

I don't know listen to who you're with this fucking idiot is what the perfect family kids wife has a great house I've been to his house. Yeah, great. How what's it? Is it Staten Island? Staten Island, baby 4,700 square feet huge house that Italy he did his crazy ass goes Oh, I need to get out of here and takes a loss on the house and moves his family to the middle of fucking New York Well, you know you're late. You got to take that you got to take the bridge It's a long way away Staten Island. It's actually a long fucking drive to anything. It's a long way away Yeah, and I got a family of five and we live right now in a one-bedroom in Queens, New York above my fruit and vegetable store That I least okay. So how do you feel about that? That feels pretty claustrophobic

Chris that's all I'm saying, you know, the kids love it Yeah, I got the kids working. I got I got everybody. Wow, you got Are you a little high? Are you a little high right now Chris cuz you look like you're a little jittery. What's going on for real? I just feel like maybe the fruit and vegetable stand is code for you know, you got a corner What's for real what the truth, Brian, is I sold my house and my family left me and I sit here every single day on 70th road in Queens Boulevard with a gun in my mouth.

Oh no. Wondering why I wasn't asked to be in tires with Shane Gillis. Chris, damn it, Chris. There's more to the Netflix show than there's more to life in the Netflix show, bro. Damn it. Tell me what it is.

Brian, if it's not, if I'm not going to be in tires with Shane Gillis, then at least I can sell presidiments to the Japanese community who loves me. No, it's not an either or. You have other options, Chris. Dammit. You can't just be that extreme. Look, they liked you. You did well in the audition, but you just were, you're too much like the other guys and they had to diversify a little bit.

She's voting for Trump. She probably is. At least you're in a bubble. At least you're in the Trump bubble. No, Chrissy, for reals, was your family upset that you sold the house, the beautiful, gorgeous house that the kids loved? It doesn't matter. The answer is it doesn't matter.

It does matter. You do what you want. It does matter. It does matter. Well, well, Brendan, I'm going to answer that question by one of those you tell me's because I thought that they were happy. And then within a week of us moving there, I did a run of shows in Las Vegas. And then I came back.

And when I landed in the airport, I was texted by the mother of my children to not come home. And so instead, I stayed for three nights at a ramada in the jfk airport So you tell me how the family accepted it. I'm just right now Right now they're just coming around. Yeah to uh accepting our new lives Um, things are getting a little bit better good and uh, and yeah And and I actually just came into the car to this hot box of a car They're actually eating pizza on the corner

Right now because it's next to the fruit and vegetable store that I own and they give it A question is there really a pizza store or are they nowhere to be found? That's the question Chris Well, they are sitting in the pizza store. The only caveat to that is they are with their new father That's what it sounds like. That's what it sounds like. Yes. How are you doing on money? Is that even your car? Chris, that's really the question because obviously if it was, if you had keys, you'd probably have the air conditioning on, but you don't. Did you find a car and you're just sitting in a random car? What's going on? Well, the truth is, is that if I'm going to be open and honest with you as I as I am every single time I come on The show yeah is the truth is that I am sitting in the car of my children's new father Who is Tommy Pope co-star of the hit show on Netflix tires?

Chris he told me that I could yes He told me that that he would take care of my family and I'm appreciative of him right now because believe it or not You know raspberries are not selling at the moment. Well, yeah, it was I took a big gamble Yes, yes, I had to touch me so bad on there why He's so fucking talented Chrissy so talented so goddamn good and he was talking about like in the green room, so he's feeling less than and this. And I was like, you motherfuckers. That's what makes him funny. That's what makes him funny. But it's also, he also, but it's also self sabotage too. Like he has everything going to the great fucking house. He's crushing it. His podcast, huge. Yeah. His specials

kick that's on Netflix. And he fucking blows it all up. That's a comic. That's a real fucking comic with a lot of self saboteur in there. You know what that is? I appreciate it. I don't appreciate it. I like it. That's a comic with a bad therapist.

No, no, no, no, no. It's why Chris is always funny. You can't like yourself too much. The fuck outta here. You gotta have a healthy throat for self-loathing. You're in somebody else's car. Your family's not talking to you. You're selling fruits and vegetables.

Terrible business plan But you still got blue eyes and your face looks a little more crooked than normal. I don't know what's going on You're obviously jittery. Have you been sparring? You've got the cocaine sweats and how much is Mateo Lane and the other guys paying you to actually do other things? shit, so Mateo Lane Mateo Lane, it's I'm not getting money per se because money is in fact a fiat currency I he did tell me he'd give me half of an Ethereum coin That's not a lot Chris

Guys, okay, like I hate to do this, but I do want to ask because you guys have big connections Is there any way you could get me some type of connection to get my fruit and vegetable stand inside the parking lot for Burt Kreutzer's Fully Loaded Tour? I just would like to sell fruits and vegetables to the comics and the people on Burt Kreutzer's Fully Loaded Tour. Yes, yes, but there's a caveat to that.

You gotta sell only watermelon, you have to infuse it with a lot of vodka and freeze the watermelon and you'll make a fucking challenge. And take your shirt off. fucking take your shirt off and take Your shirt off other than that who who die who dies first Joe Biden or Bert Kreischer? Bert is actually working out apparently he's getting ready for a marathon etc. So who knows who knows you know, but it's a good question Yes, I love a good question. That's a good question. I love you. And then I like Brendan He's got really showing me his open asshole right here. I love you. And then I like Brendan.

He's got really showing me his open asshole right here. I like this view I got going on right now. I like that. He's opened up a little bit. I'm sitting in a respectful manner is what I'm doing. So it's great. Yeah, dude. I like that.

Brendan's got an asshole. Looks like it smells like creatine. It does. That's all he does. He's always on some kind of a diet. I'm not even sure what it is. But I'll tell you what, you're very disciplined when it comes to your hair. You're high, you're tight, your skin looks pretty smooth. How old are you now?

I don't fuck around. I'm 39 years old. I'll be 40 August 26, 2024. Okay, good. So you've got, there's a lot going on. Absolutely. That's a, I'm a Virgo baby. If lot absolutely that's if I'm a Virgo baby if anybody wants to know I'm a Virgo No, I knew that do you have any plans to get the fuck out of very hot in New York City though over the summer? Or are you gonna are you gonna just moved? Yeah, I just moved and I as I said, I have a three-year lease on this fruit and vegetable store So I can't necessarily move right now be there for the bomb and yeah Yeah, the only the only place I'd consider

moving is Gaza. That's about it. Well, that's because you don't think you deserve anything and I understand that. You could sell fruit in Gaza and make exactly zero dollars. Go tell your wife you want to move to Gaza. If you go, honey, listen, I got an idea how I want to move to Gaza. Let us know how that goes. Yes. Chris. Yeah, I'm going to see because I am a homosexual. Don't get thrown off a roof. Now let me ask you this, Chris. How many children do you have now that you know about?

I have two biological daughters and I have one stepson. So I do raise three children. Four if you count the Japanese man I have in my basement who cuts up the watermelon with the machete. Okay, is that is that is he not an adult? Yeah, are you are you violating child labor laws because it's cheaper. What the fuck no going on He's a 55 year old hairless man. Oh, okay And I and yeah, and that's and so I knew he'd be hairless because you prefer hairless You're not you're not it. You don't like a lot chin doing I'd like I'd like to come over there

I wish I was I'd like I'd like to just me and chin alone a room I like to slap him around a little bit just waiting some shots on nothing crazy I can make them slap me around a little bit. Yeah, yeah, and I'll give them some nice fruit and vegetables And then we could kind of see where that goes, you know what? No, you know what he does now for extra money. He oils his feet up and he'll give you a good kick around That's what I'll take you right in the nuts. You'll kick your right right in the right with those oil nuts Yeah, yeah, and there's no I love that. Yeah, we can make that hat It's the least I love you because I see the other the other girl used to work for you couch

She's got an only fans. I'd like to see chin with the only fan. So I'd like to see that That's the only fans I'm looking at. Yeah, I understand You've always had a penchant for Asians, especially Asian men with no hair. Oh God, I love Asians, man. They're delicious. I eat them on all occasions. Good. Now you're a leader now in the comedy space

and you're in the world of satire. Do you have any words of wisdom and how we navigate the rest of our future here? Anything to say to America to make us feel better? Anything you want to say as a 39 year old man who has lived a life and achieved things. Anything, cause you know. Cause we still got a lot more to do, man.

I mean, it's the 1000th episode, but we were planning to hit 2000. Any advice? That's right. Any advice for you two specifically? Sure. Yeah. Well, we're probably beyond this. I would say,

try as hard as you can to get on tires the chain gala season two That's the only advice I could give you I would say that What do we do like an audition tape? What are we? Yeah, I think I I don't I honestly don't know the process But what you guys can do is come down to Chrissy's Fruit and Vegetables on Queens Boulevard and 70th Road. I'll get you a deal. Look at this guy talking about fruits and vegetables. He needs it.

Holy shit balls. And yeah, honestly, guys, I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't know. I'm kind of off the road right now. I'm trying to just, you know, I'm hanging on by a thread. I'm hanging on by a thread. Listen, you've got a lot to live for it. You're doing fantastic.

You fill out that shirt beautifully. You fill out the frame beautifully. You got a long time. You're one of my favorite people on the planet. You've got, yeah, I don't know if you get your teeth professionally whitened, but I'm going snow blind looking at them and that's a compliment. You're still in the D3 Hall of Fame. Don't forget. Are you a D basketball player? Hall of fame. Hall of fame. D three hall of fame. You know what? You know what? Absolutely. Chris

DiStefano. This kid hustles. That's what I said. This kid hustles and he hits from the outside. That's that's it. We know you got to get with your family before you really lose your coming into the car. Oh, here we go. We know you gotta get with your family before you really lose your look They're coming into the car. I hear we go before I go before I go I just want to do a little throwback for you guys. It is pride month. So I just want to say here's your month Love you pass what a beautiful love you, baby. Love you pal the best Children in front of the children. In front of the children, for God's sake.

Oh, wow. Oh, he's showing me. Oh, there it is. He's showing me. There it is. Congratulations. We got to get him out of here. Fantastic.

Chris DeStefano never disappoints. We going fishing, Sportsman Cove Lodge, Southeast Alaska. We're going. We are going to catch the biggest fish in the ocean I'm buying my neo preem gloves I'm gonna eat some locally sourced. They sent us a list of stuff We need listen you're talking about five boats six guests per boat boy You do you you limit or you come close every day to catch a bunch of big old fish

And fish three to one angler to crew ratio good because I don't know what I'm doing One-to-one staff to guess ratio. Good. Cause I don't know what I'm doing. One to one staff to guess ratio. The food is the best in the industry. It's all locally sourced. We eat and good baby. All you gotta do is go to Alaska's best lodge.com. They're currently running a sale $800 off any June dates through July, early July.

So use the code TFATK get 10% off your first trip limit of six slots per person buy one get one limit of one per person Very limited that's late June to early July check for the available dates and get yo ass to Alaska There it is. There it is. What is that? What is that? What is that a Jeep? What do you got there? Jeep with a little extra space back there Are we recording? Yeah recording. Yeah, we're recording. I don't do the race cars, Brendan. I don't do the race cars. Why? What are you driving? You just drive a Range Rover. What are you worried about? Uncross your legs and talk to me like an adult, Brian. Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me about my car with your legs crossed.

And I don't want to hear any of that. I called in first of all, I want to congratulate you guys on your 1000th episode. I love you guys genuinely. I Consider both you guys I consider you guys both you guys friends and lovers friends and lovers No, no, no, no, you always ask me to send you naked pictures and I'm not doing that, so I don't think we're lovers. I'm not gonna accept that, but we're definitely friends. You're just not my type, you're not. I'll be a little dysfunctional. I've had intimacy with both of you together and separately.

Hold on. But this is not about me. Brandon popped the cardboard in your rib, that's true. And I don't know if you call that intimacy, you try to put him in a headlock and then he gave you a little squeeze up and you got gripped, all right? The reality check.

I didn't like that. No, no, no. I didn't like that. I didn't like that one bit. And I'll tell you what you're in the cage. 1,000 episodes. Yeah, 1,000. 1,000 episodes.

It's a lot. Congratulations. Thanks, brother. So who have you guys had on today? What are you eating, cupcakes, what are we doing today? We had Barack Obama. We asked him what that was like. We had we had we had Biden on.

We said, does it bother you, Joe, that Mike is so mad at you? And then we had Donald Trump on and he said, tell Mike, I want to thank him for his vote. And so we got that going on. Yeah. So Donald, the Don is happy with you. You know, the Don's full endorsing your approval. Yeah.

Uh, and, and he's, he's endorsing my endorsement. He's endorsing your endorsement. Uh, and I, I get a kick out of how you're, you're not a man to shy from your point of view and in speaking what you believe to be right. You and I have spoken a lot off camera and, uh, you that that's that's correct. Yeah, you're one of those guys. You're you're you express your outrage and say what you will about rap. You speak that you speak how you see it. You and Robert De Niro.

Wait, when you say when you say a Brendan, why don't you shut up? Because next time I'm in LA, I'll come there. We could live stream this. I'll smack that fucking hat right off. No, no, no, no, no, you don't you shut up? Cause next time I'm in LA, I'll come there. We could live stream this. I'll smack that fucking hat right off your head. No, no, no, no, no. You don't want to do that. You tried that last time. You remember how we went about. We've been over this bummer.

We've been over this pal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I'll come out there on like the 1,015th episode. I'll smack that fucking hat. Yeah. Right off your fucking head. Please do.

That smirk won't. Please do. That smirk won't be happening. No, no. Excuse me? I said please do you've been hanging around these woke protesters a little too long I'll slap the shit out of you bud give you a good grip up give you a grip up and I'll be over there in the corner I'll take you down I'll fuck it up I'll take you fuck first I'll take your fucking sneakers what what sneakers you wear for your 1000? You're not gonna like this. No, what?

I get some Yeezy's on they're just so comfortable, dude He's an answer. Are they comfortable? Yeah, they're super comfortable. I know they're frowned upon They're just that I ran this morning. So I I didn't have time to change them if I knew you were coming on I want to warm. I don't know What what are you wearing? Like what's your workout regimen these are you I didn't know you were like you know what he's sprinting running what are we doing I just run in the morons around two to three miles every morning to do a short workout he pays people to come in and just tosses him about gives him a good toss around good shove around yeah

naked that's right are you are you are you are you are you grappling with folks these days or you don't fuck with that huh Huh? Not a ton. No, not a ton. Well, he and I get into it a little bit sometimes I'll fuck up Brian. I feel I love when you wrestle people Brian. I love there was still some guy you were doing some like I don't know you were arm wrestling or Somebody's shot strong somebody. Yeah. Yeah. He fucked you up real nice strongest man in the world. Yeah. Yeah. He fucked you up real nice. Now, I stepped to anybody. It's just in me. It's in me. I'm a young

lion. I'm a young lion. The young and he didn't he didn't grease you up because I like to have you greased like a grease like a greasy little chicken. Like I like that. Don't say grease chicken. Don't I prefer that? I like it. I'm not your fucking plucked bird. I'm not your plucked bird. I'm not a bumpy chicken. Hey, rap. I haven't seen too much of it. I'm not your fucking plucked bird. I'm not your plucked bird. I'm not a bumpy chicken Hey rap, I haven't seen too much of it But your Knicks were they did pretty well in the playoffs and the injuries are you cheering for Boston now by chance?

No, I gotta go with Dallas. I got I got Celtic derangement syndrome. I don't fuck with I don't fuck with Boston I don't fuck with the Celtics the Patriots the Bruins I don't know if they got a lacrosse team a WNBA do I don't fuck with the Celtics the Patriots the Bruins. I don't know if they got a lacrosse team a WNBA I don't fuck with any Boston sports teams that data. I respect them. Yada. Yada. Yada team from Gaza team from Gaza nothing like that guys, uh Boston none of that shit, but but I have to go with Dallas. It's it's a good series and You know, I mean it'll tie it up. They'll tie it up. It's it's a good series and is it you know, I mean it'll tie it up They'll tie. I hope they did. I think it'll get good. Yeah, what else is going on with you guys?

So the thousandth episode who else has been on for real? We had Schultz. He on we had will Sasso We got Dalia we got you we got Stefano de Stefano. Yeah, we just had Chrissy Dion. Are you where you come from you New York in New York? I'm in New York. I'm in New York. Yeah, we just had Chrissy Dion. Where are you? Where you come from? You New York? You're in New York? I'm in New York. I'm in New York. You got a theater tour, right? Yes, I got a theater tour coming up in the fall, which I'm excited about and tickets went on sale today I know you're playing today playing the Vic dude. We did that ten years ago. That's cool, though. Oh When you say we like oh would you like the live podcast? Oh When you say we like oh would you like the live podcast?

It was a long time ago right now. I'm still doing clubs. I don't get to do theaters. Congratulations. You're doing Carnegie Hall Did you see did you see how he tried to slight me Brendan? You know what you deserve? I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna fuck one of your fucked up years. Oh, no. No, no That dude, it's my day. It's my now now I'm gonna fuck up one of your fucked up ears and do it how he disrespect me on how I bring it up your theater dates the Vicks a big deal we did it ten years ago that's all I'm saying we've been there I wanted to share the experience for you it's a big moment first ten years ago no no no no no you didn't want to do that you didn't want to do that you did it you did it in a disrespectful way and and and and you're gonna get disrespected

for that can't wait so yeah we're doing the theaters it's exciting i've had some i've had some shows the reason why the specifically to be totally honest yeah the reason why the vic is is is i'm happy about the vic is because i was gonna do shows in another venue that they that i got canceled the shows got threatened because of my outspokenness and they can't no bullshit I was told Brian before he came on like you know somebody's been can I ask you what city it was in are you allowed to do that Portland it was in Illinois it was in Illinois in the state of Illinois right outside of Chicago that's why I'm excited about the tickets being available at Michael Rapaport comedy.com. The pre sells rap

like rap music. And I want to go to specifically Chicago. Yeah, I performed at the Vic once before and tear it up. And and you know, I was to be totally serious. That was really, really, really, really, really disappointing. That this this club bent to that. They shouldn't have been to it. No, but why did they did they bend because they're scared that there could be conflict and like there could be, you know, some threats or were they scared because they don't agree with they were threats.

They would know they were totally behind me. They felt really bad. And the reason why they they did it is because the club got threats, the workers, they were apparently going after workers and they found out where their workers were, they threatened workers and the workers were freaked out and of course they were threatening me and you know I'm not into that shit, I talk my shit but comedy is comedy and even if it wasn't comedy, even if it was just a speaking engagement, you know to make threats about you know I have nothing to apologize about in regards to where I stand on anything political, you know

We've been on the show. I've talked to you guys shit about politics the thing about politics Israel Gaza and all that shit These are points of view. None of us are out there You know in in the in in the dirt. Yeah, None of us are out there, you know, in the, in the, in the dirt. None of us are dealing with it. My thoughts are my thoughts. My opinions are my opinions. I stand by my opinions. But when you start threatening comedy venues and managers and workers, it gives you an idea. Matt. I mean, Mike, he called you Matt.

Matt Rappaport. Matt, it gives you an idea. Michael, Michael Rappaport. I won guest of the year before there was a guest of the year award. I invented the guest of the year award. Sorry, I called you Matt Rappaport. He called you Matt, so that's cool. That's my Nick name. Will you fix it?

No, you fix it. We're going to edit that shit out. Mike, Mike Rappaport. No, but Mike, you know, it's very interesting because you speak your mind and it's interesting that whoever is disagreeing with you is having to use threats of violence to get their point across, which is, you know, to me tends to galvanize where you stand anyway and you gotta double down when that happens.

I don't think you bend to that kind of pressure. I think you have to fucking double down on principle. Because if you fucking give in to people who are threatening you with violence, then they win and yeah, it's scary. Yeah, it is. It's a dangerous time right now. It's always been a contentious time,

but fuck those people for doing that. And I think sometimes it's worth taking the stand. So don't back up. I know you're not gonna back off. But that is putting money where your mouth is because nowadays, it's true, with social media and the public square, they do threaten your pocketbook. It does affect your fucking life.

But what's weird is, I mean, they're just doing it off the exception, but 99.99% of the time those people aren't gonna do shit. No of course they'll see rap in the street and ask for an autograph. Right. They see you in the street they bat their eyes they ask for an autograph and also as far as showing up at clubs and threatening clubs you know so much where are you like you're not in the like they're robots yes they could be anywhere it's just the abundance of them freak Correct freak people out. So that's why I'm particularly excited about about the Vic

But all tickets are on sale at Michael rapaport comedy comm and you know, I'm happy for you guys I I truly truly love you guys. I respect you guys and I'm always happy for both of you having success I'm happy with you clothed. I'm happy with you nude Oh, yeah, I'm happy and shit and also what you know, you guys have been running a thousand episodes What's with your your guy? He can't send me a fucking email like like the whole thing like I guess I was napping earlier During the thousand episode. Yes, I fell asleep watching this shit I was fucking bored to tears waiting for my turn But then your guide chin and your other guys Saza and like though come on man. Yeah, it's not it's not Saza

It's a woman named Sina's not Saza. Don't say Saza. You got to read that. You got to read the names It's a Persian name be a little respectful and Sina's loves you before you came on. She said you're her favorite now She yeah, I don't know if she feels the same She said Matt Rappaport got a favorite She's got a gmail account. I'm like what year are you in like get yourself something private get on a proper server Don't you guys have like Tia Michael Rappaport? Yes Yeah anyway Mike you speak a big game before I let you go. You're scrappy, you're always ready for a fight.

You're doing any kind of exercise, you're training at all. What happens if you have to get into it? Clearly no sun, right? You're not outside. You can't be in the sun. You're not outside. We know you're not outside. He comes from a long line of Russian, Russian, Jewish.

Oh, congrats, you're now the whitest guy on the planet because Jerry West died. Yeah, he's Larry Bird. He's the comedic Larry Bird to Tuzer Tuzu he just died today. No, that's good the comedic Larry Bird Yeah, that's no you can do Jerry West thing you could cuz that wasn't disrespectful to Jerry West. I Mean Jerry West's come on, man. Anyway, let's just go off on a higher note and and and you know Everything's good and where everybody's happy you got the water thing there. What do you what do you guys hock in there?

What kind of water are we doing here? Well, we drink magic mind. We don't hock and we drink it This is you saw about right here hooked me up with you. I fuck with that magic mind I thought that magic I told you that's good that Matt You did hook me up with that Brian get you more and you more. Brendan, you didn't hook me up with, hold on. Brendan, you didn't hook me up with shit. Brendan, by the way. Asking you shall we see you. You got cars, hockey sticks.

Hockey sticks, cars. You know weights. I see you got kettlebells. Nothing. Not a fucking thing. Send me your address. I'll send you more Magic Mind. Cause it's, once you start taking it,

you're like, oh shit. All you gotta do is ask, bud. whatever you need, you know, I got you I thought I was gonna offer my skill set of fighting when you're going to these Going to these protests. I'm like man. I got your back, you know, i'll knock out some of these woke folks for you But you never called To answer my final question you guys said working out my regimen. Yeah, I don't want to go into the details of it But I train during the winter because during the Sun obviously I can't go out that is true I stay away from the Sun

Yeah, I sleep with the sunblock on so I am physically fit right now I just do all my workouts inside during the summer most people during the summer. They're outside Yeah, I'm inside You look you look tight keep your shirt on you're always gonna be a successful person God bless you During the summer they're outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm inside. I figured that. I figured that. You look tight. As long as you keep your shirt on, you're always gonna be a successful person. God bless you.

Yes, we love you bud. I do look good, right Brendan? You do look good bud. Say it again. You look good pal. Take it easy dude. You look good, I'll fuck you up when you come here. What are you doing with your mouth?

What are you doing? Hey, it's too close. Say it again. No man, you're not sensual. Say it again. You're not sensual. You're not sensual. Now I feel uncomfortable. No, one of you said you look good. Say it again. I said you're good pal

You look better skin looks tight. I'll give him that. Yeah, you want him to say it slowly No, man, it's it or say it slowly. No, no, no, no, no, what you do that to me, bro Later brother. I'll see you guys later. We love you man. Be safe. Love you guys Later brother. I'll see you guys later. We love you man. Be safe. Love you guys. You're the best pal. Sanaa I love you too. Chin you're the best Chin. He says you're the best Chin. Love you. He called you Sanaa. Matt Rapaport that was uh. Matt Rapaport everybody. We love you. Theater tour baby. Good luck pal. Love you. Let's go baby. Let's go. Get him. You know who we have on right now, guys. We have an all-star cast. This is the, yeah, we put together a big show for you guys. Not everyone we wanted could come on. We'll talk about that after this.

But probably the most requested man, and remember, we're bringing guests on that made the show. We're not just bringing on big names to get the views. We're bringing on people that actually made the fire in the kid to what it was. And this is the most requested guest. You talking about Will Sas on my will Sasso right now about the funniest guy in the planet Well, yeah, he's he's the LeBron James of comedy when it comes to just raw talent He's the stone-cold Steve Austin my one of my best my third best student. Maybe my second best student in fact, so

He could kill Brian with his, with his calves. Yeah. He's got bull hard calves. No one makes me laugh. Is he on right now? We're going to get him on. So, okay. There, there, there was a lot of times when it were, you, if you, people forget like Brian was doing a full blown TV show, he would get his, you know, his call time, like dude, I'm going to miss the podcast. And we'll Sassou would just just fill in it'd be me and will Unbelievable, yeah, I'd be me and Theo. I mean you name it. Yeah, but ton of guys. Yeah. Yeah, it was just come in. Yep

That's right. It's so fun So I guess we're gonna introduce will sasso now. I don't think he needs any introduction for anybody who's been listening He he he's on right now. He's actually calling us. Okay, okay. Hey, we will. Hey, well, how are you? How was your English? How was your English? Wait. Wait You look italian as fuck right now bro

Really No, no, no, I know you're in it. Yes, you're in Napoli. You're you're you're calling from Napoli. That's right Bean I combatant Combatant a bomb beam right will Is will actually Italy or is he a marina del Rey? Yeah, you're a little fighter a little baby Fangu lo Brandon in questo castello I'm just saying it looks like Marina Del Rey literally forgotten his English. It's incredible

Italian now your Italian is fuck man But get back a more you know, I trended me. Yeah How you say I move oh, yeah Yeah, yeah you live here now dude you you speak speak Italian, but that outfit screams American. That outfit screams Oh, red mozzarella and cappuccino. Wow. Mortadella. Oh, mortadella.

Mortadella. Yeah. Wow. Now put it here. Oh, that's official. That's, that's, that's some, oh, cheese on there, but it's, it's a rough sandwich. Yeah. Of course. Salumi Salumi.

Mozzarella, mozzarella, mozzarella. Mozzarella, buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. Yes. Yes. What you're going to eat. Mozzarella mozzarella mozzarella Mozzarella buffalo Yes, what you're gonna eat oh That's a huge bite

That's a big bite. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a talent The food is amazing. Yes, yes. Yeah. Food America, to the food America, probably schief, olive garden. No, no, no. I mean, I wouldn't say that.

I wouldn't say all American food is like olive garden. That's not. We get a good Italian food here, too. I've taken you to good Italian food in Los Angeles. I don't. Yeah. Where do you find Italian food like this? No, no.

Well, I've taken you to the places that are pretty good. Hey, Scopa, tengo una calamari frita, tengo una orangina, tengo una poca margarita, pizzeria, peperoni, pineapple. No, they didn't serve pineapple. Come on. No, that's pineapple No, they didn't serve pineapple Come on American No, that's not fair. They don't serve pineapple

Mange, oi Mange pizza hot like a Oh finocchio fuck Come s- Dude, this talent is not bad I don't know what this is I don't know what that is I have a Big Mac

Of dog Look, look, we're not eating Big Macs or hot dogs. Yes, I agree that American food can suck sometimes, and you're eating good food. But I mean, you're kind of acting like Italy is the center of the entire universe. And that's not fair, because you've only been there for two weeks.

And his outfit. I know you have family there and stuff like that. And his outfit is screaming America. Well, the outfit's screaming somewhat Napoli. No, no, no, that's that's cold. Brenda, Brenda, Brenda, the question of color. I do come in. Yeah.

No, he knows. He says this is what color or color. I do like the blue. So it's like he's a more light blue. He's for a culture. You call a soccer. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Yeah.

So, you know, yes, he's saying the ball. Hey, like soccer of his team. Goal. Argentina. No, it's I think he's I think the Napoli colors are light blue. So you're you're a soccer fan. Yeah. Yeah. And Napoli, of course, is on the water.

Him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Yeah. It's beautiful. Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant combatant You said it. Yeah. Yeah. And then I know the fighter, the fighter and Oh, Bambino and the big Bruce. Yeah. Yeah. I know the fighter and the kid. Yes.

Thank you. That's who we are. Brandon, no, we don't understand. Can you say in English, please? I know how to speak English to 123 happy days. I feel like you better than that. I just feel like you like, did you really lose that much of your English? I know you've really changed.

And we got to get you back, man. You're okay. You're more more. You'll be that guy. No, no, You okay? You're more more. You'll be the guy. No, no, I know. You're here. Yes. So solo, solo America.

Yes. Uh, uh, labor, uh, you're an actor in America, so you only work as an actor in America. Yes. But if you had to play, if you had to play an American character, how would you do that?

Can you, can you give us a demonstration? No, no, okay, I will go uh like play an American Okay Hey Barbie Yeah Okay, you froze up a little bit there barbie so far. Yeah

Barbie what barbie and ken. Barbie. Yeah. Why you know like Ken? Ken? Yeah. Yeah. She came with Ken. I know Ken. Sure. Yeah. It was still with the official film. Barbie. She came up and I met up and I mean, you're doing American films. I mean, but how would you play an American character is what we're trying to ask. That's not a very good American character. And I'm really having trouble believing that you've lost that much English. Yeah. Oh, oh film, oh film.

An apple. Yeah. John Wayne. Well, Pilgrim. Pilgrim. See? Oh, see. Yeah.

See? That's fine. I was asking if you, El Saso, way Pilgrim. See? Oh, see? Yeah. See? That's fine. I was asking if you had to play an American, what would you, how would you play the American? What if Will Sasso played an American like Stone Cold Steve Austin?

Are you Italian Stone Cold Steve Austin? What would be, yeah. Can you give us your impression of Stone Cold Steve Austin? Beve Peroni. Beve Peroni., no Budweiser, Bev Peroni, you're drinking a Peroni not a Budweiser right? Peter, yep yep Yeah, because Steve Cold, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Is there an Italian Jesse Ventura? Yes. I'm at Naval, I'm at Naval, I'm going to the water. To the water, at 9, 10 minutes.

10 minutes under the water, to the sea. Do you see me new toe saw toe like what I mean don't mar very So Grouchy for Thank you for your service he say that's really good that's really good do you Forget when quando he or five when do we are a job? And yeah, yeah, what would an Arnold Schwarzenegger, what would Arnold Schwarzenegger, what would he sound like if he was Italian? Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I will return. I will return. I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back. Very good. Even with this bad connection that is astonishing. Yeah. Listen, how much longer will you be in Naples, Will? Tutto mi vida! Tutto mi vida!

Okay, you don't know. All of my life. Your whole life. All of my life. Tutto mi vida. All of it, my life. All of it, your life. Yes.

Good, good, good. my life all of it your life yes good good yeah on the street yes hello will how are you why where is Brian Keller to come see gamma Brian's? Yep. Yep I'm gonna market the car. She came out. I'm a Brian We should have been the perky quite Very very good. Yeah. Thank you It's all come back on all come back on the a or Bambino is the fighter in the pile of my new The fighter and the kid always talk but they don't say anything. They don't say anything. Now, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see,

see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see,'t thank you enough for, for joining us here on, on the fighter and kid. You're one of many guests and, uh, you were the most, yeah. One million episodes. Yes. One thousand.

And the baby. Yes. One million. Yes. One million. Thousand. One thousand. Yes.

That's the, it's the one thousand. It's not like you said one million though. Yeah. A thousand is a, is a thousand. Millennium. It's thousand thousand. That's the one thousand. Like you said, one million though. Yeah. Mealy is a thousand millennium. It's a thousand. Okay. Mealy. See Brendan, Brendan took a visual math in the Euro. He knows math.

It's just that he knows math. American math. No American math is not like here. Here is a one yard, two yard, but there is no Tom Brady's Right, but he just he heard me It's the latin See no a millennium is a thousand to the poster. I don't I don't Brendan there is a billion here is a me Lee mean a thousand. Gotcha

You were the most really mean the quested guests for this episode. You were the most requested guess by far episode by far, but America Boy, we need a napalm. Yes View of Napoli, that's right. Thank you. Now Napoli is a bit of a lawless place and my guess is, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm just, I was, I just meant to say that Napoli is a, is a, is a lawless place and uh, you know, just be careful.

That's all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, see? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, nobody fucks with you, I know. You're not a, yeah, you'll fight. Okay, well. No, you're bleeding out of your throat. Yes, you're... Yeah, nobody's into, no, no, I didn't mean that. Yeah, that's fine.

Nobody wants their throat cut and I'm not, you know. Is it dangerous over the beach? Yes, it's very noble. It's where the original no no mafia. That's where the Mexican cartels learned their way way way way To do what the tropy film to what the film is a camera go more or mafioso film I know the more Gomorrah is about the Naples mafia. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, we drink we have a nice time we walk around the city I would imagine if you are in the under tapestry the dark world the dark arts We can get pretty well up my seat to take an unknown American come on Yeah, I don't know why I haven't done anything wrong No, see or see Brendan. Yeah, Brendan Baca, yeah, one or two or three Joven way way no, sir. No to know America Brenda fuck or see And it would be a shot. Yeah, Brandon would take their heads and smash their heads

Like a like a great like a like a nice peach yeah you would smash their heads okay yeah yeah i know but you know excuse me i'm not a complete pushover you know i i can fight too. Yeah, he would do that Yes, he would he would elbow them to a pulp that's right Yes watching yes Yeah, he would be Yeah, me to my napple yeah. If I went to Naples, yeah. What would happen to me? Bring Brendan.

Your connection just cut out a little bit. Bring Brendan to you. If you go to Naples. Yeah, if I went to Naples, yeah. Bring Brendan. I don't need to bring Brendan. Yes, bring Brendan. I don't need to bring Brendan.. I don't need to bring a brand. I can take care of myself too. I can, I can go to.

Will Brian says he's Italian. Do you see a lot of people? My grandmother's side is actually my grandmother's from Naples. It was my grandfather was from Sicily. So I have roots there. So I think I'd be fine. Does anybody look like Brian out there? Will?

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Holland. I'm not fucking Holland. I'm not from Holland. I'm not from Holland. Don't say I'm from Holland. Hollandese. I'm not made of Hollandese sauce. It's so insulting. I'm not Hollandese sauce and I'm not fucking Filipino Hollandese sauce. That's what I'm saying because I was born in the Philippines. You drink Hollandese. Drink Hollandese sauce. I'm not drinking fucking Hollandese sauce. Alright? I don't even know what that means. What are you talking about? You're a fucking rumbug. You drink Hollandese. Hollandaise sauce. All right. I don't even know what that means. I don't drink Hollandaise sauce. I don't even know what that means. It's insulting. I'd be fine in the Naples. Don't say I'd get my throat cut or whatever the fuck you're saying right now.

Wait. I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait. Okay. I'll wait. One minute. Yeah. What he's eating the sandwich again for the listeners out there. He said, wait a minute. Let me take a bite. He took a huge bite and he's just, it's just, it does look nice though. Yeah. He's taking giant bites and now he's showcasing the back the view. Yeah, the view it looks like Marina Del Rey a lot.

It does look a lot like Marina Del Rey. It's essentially a lot dirtier and a lot dirtier. They don't exactly follow a lot of the pollution protocols. Yeah. Yeah, it's dirty. When is Will coming back though? Will, no, he's staying there for the rest of his life. Will listen, we really appreciate you calling in. Thank you so much for being the most requested guest. And we hope that you'll grace us with your presence.

If you, if your English comes back to you, please come and join us in person whenever you can. No, no, no, no, no. Okay. No, no, no, no. Are you going to be posting your doodsy podcast from Naples because it is, it is the first AI generated podcast. My AI is called AI.

Yeah, you're frozen up there. Artificial. Yeah. But even Duzzi is like AI I, but also only me and Chad. Me and Chad. You and Chad. Well, listen, you and Chad Colchin have a great podcast, Duzzi, we want to thank you so much for your outfit. Wait a minute.

Yeah, yeah. One minute. One minute. What? He's eating a sandwich again. I don't, do I need to be sucking? For the listeners. Fuck, man.

He just won't stop eating it. He loves it there. Will's gone full Italian, man. You just won't stop eating. He loves it there wills gotten full Italian man You really have gone full Italian who could have called this this has been the Italian episode 1000th episode and wills full That you need an Italian dictionary, but I hope I did a good job explaining because I I'm half Italian as you know So I speak I understand a lot of Italian, but not as good as well No, it was full-blown engulfed himself well his both his parents were Italian. I'm at St. Sasa Sasa Sasa might be a Slovenian name or wills fucking Canadian and he loves American WWE. Yeah

Yeah, he also not going down at that board in my blood. I am a Neapolitan. No, no, yes. Because when, yes, your family from Neapolitan. Yes, when I go, whoa, Willy Saso, Willy Saso. Well, yeah, they have a lot of relatives that are very happy to see you. And you get a lot of kisses. They don't kiss your ring.

I don't know if they kiss your ring. You can kiss the kiss your ring. I don't know if they kiss your ring. You can kiss the ring, wow. I don't know if they kiss your ring. That's your marriage ring. I don't know if they, I don't know if they do that. What are they doing there? They're wearing, they're putting a crown on you? Oh wow.

I don't know if they're putting, I don't know if you can crown the king. I don't know if they kiss your, I don't know if they do that. No wonders though, coming back. Orey, Guillermo el Rey, Rey. Right, but yeah, I don't know if they do that. No wonders Right, but yeah, I don't know if that's true. I don't know if you're the reigning king, but we appreciate it Yeah, we love you. Will we miss you buddy? We miss you. Okay. Hey Wait, ciao

Risa to the reason to the wonder ciao. Hey, bonasera. Bonasera. Thay's that the post okay to the family son of Banner Yes, hey start the post the combatant. Yes, but I'm the old bamb families are fine. And it's been alright. Combatant and the baby. I don't need that. No, don't do that. Alright, can we get him off? Alright. We love you bud, we miss you. That's so insulting. We love you pal. Don't kiss the ring and then you're a little dick.

That's not me. If you come back to America Brian's gonna kiss the ring. No, I'm not kissing that fucking ring. I'm not kissing his ring. No, I'm not gonna do right. No. No. I'm not going to do that. All right. Love you, bud. Look at him.

Cut it there. Cut it there. He's got a chest. Cut it there. We love you. Bungle. Look at his face. Bungle.

Let's take a break, dude. It's been a long pod. I'm worried about your wiener tonight. You've got to worry about my wiener. I'm pretty exhausted. If I want to get into some lovemaking, I might need some help. You're going to stop at a gas station?. You're gonna stop at a gas station? I'm gonna stop at a gas station.

What's wrong dude? Maybe I'll go to the doctor and get one of those prescription things that hurt my head. No, too many weird side effects bro. Make my face hot. Yep, you grow a third eye, maybe a tail. My friend said his head hurts so much, I thought it was gonna fall off. Yep, been there. He took some, you know.

No, you need the real natural science-backed sexual wellness product. I'm talking about a sexual performance booster for your wiener. It's like pre-workout for sex. This one promotes, what's it called, blood vessel. You got that? Blood vessel flub. I'm not buying it. Yep.

Yep. Blood vessel and endothelial tissue health. Is that what it is? Yep. Heart health. Dude, most of all, dude, it's a sexual performance booster and it's daily. It's a no-brainer. It's going to enhance everything, especially in the sac. All you got to do is tear open the little sack, the little sack, right?

The little sack. The little sack, little electrolyte packet. Yep, you mix it all about, 45 or four hours, you're ready to go. So if you're ready to turbo charge your wiener game in the bedroom and boost your sexual performance and do it naturally without all the nasty prescription drugs, boy, all you gotta do

is go to usejoymode.com and usejoymode.com slash fighter. Enter the code fighter and you get 20% off at, on for your first order. There you go. Yep. It's hard to talk about podcast. Yeah, it has. And there's Chris. Long time no see pal.

He's acting like he just won something. Yeah, I guess. No, I, I, uh, I'm good, man. I'm not right. We're all good. Yeah, I'm coming to you actually from, um, Congratulations Studios. Well, it's, it's, I've been, it's not, don't say Congratulations Studios. So there's a room in your house where you, where you do the podcast, right? It's, it's, it's an, it's a non-disclosed location and it is in Congratulations Studios.

I've been there. Yeah, it's, it's in your house yeah we had to blind we blindfolded you and you and you took a pill to get on the way it's like the back i mean what's like go to the back cave you can't really see where it is but when you arrive you're like wow no i didn't can we agree on that if there's one thing we can agree i'm not agreeing to that dude i just came over that i blindfolded you and this is like the back cake. How was this? How, what would you give his setup?

One to 10. I'd say it's one out of 10 bats. I'd say it's, I'd say he went like this. He goes, I'll use, he walked in and he goes in his house, he goes, I'll use this corner. He just put a table there. I think you walked in with like, how can I make this look like firing the kid?

Cause they set the trend. Well, we, we, well, we, we, we, we've always said that. He comes from my rib. You can look that up on your media. No, nobody says that. I come from your rib, dude. Okay. Wow. But I mean, um, so that dog collar that you are wearing, what, what it's not, dude, I don't want you to say that. What it is, is it's an honor. It's an honor to DMX. Are we going chains for change? I didn't know that. I didn't that. I didn't know what he passed away. I don't know if you know this. I do know about DMX. I know he passed away. He was a rapper that really burst onto the scene in 1997. I know who the fuck. Dark as hell is hot. His follow up albums were really

good. Some of them were misunderstood. His biggest album was X and it wasn't, it wasn't the one that was coming out. I also know what DMX stands for. Do you? Yeah. What? We all do. Yeah. We didn't move on. Yeah.

You know what I'm trying to tell you? Do you know Chris? Of course. Yeah, go ahead. It's so stupid. Go ahead. See, it feels like you don't know. No, I know. All right.

So I'm going to say it. All right. Right. It stands for dark man X. right? I know that so yeah So so you know that and that's good. But what's the X stand for? Okay, so X stands for the fact that you know When you were the reason he's named it Malcolm X little black history for you guys I was a slave name is that you get a slave name

Which was a slave name that was taken your you're, you're, you've got the slave owners last name. And guys, guys, it's just history. You guys wake up. You guys, and you would mark X as a, as a sign of defiance. My name is X. Oh, that was the bright guy. Hey everyone. Welcome to congratulations today.

We're going to be going over a lot of different topics. It's going to be amazing. No, this is fighter and a kid. Thanks for having us on. Welcome to congratulations. Thanks for having us on. This is a big deal Chris. No problem guys. So so I really want to get into this, you know, your your psyche here You guys when you guys started, what was this all about? You just met and then you became friends and then immediately what it was off to the races or how'd that happen?

God man, that's a good question. That's such a general question Yeah, we just decided, you know, let's do a podcast. Cause you know, we come from two different worlds and we wanted to put it together. So that was it. Right. And I got another question for you. Now, now, now, Mr. Kellan, you obviously shop at regular guy Republic, right? So, so, so when you go there, do you just say, I'll take whatever or do they set stuff

aside for you beforehand and you just take it with your eyes closed? How does that work? Go ahead. I'm a fairly understated dresser. I go with simple shapes and simple colors and that's all there is to it. Right now I just Googled synonyms for understated and one of them was boring so can you explain to me that? I'd love to hear your take on that. I don't believe that clothes make the man. I believe what's behind the clothes, inside the body, inside the mind, inside the character make the man,

all right? That's what people say when they don't have fashion. A man's clothing, yeah, you don't need to be a fashionista. You should probably dress in an understated way. He's like Batman. I'm very understated right now because I don't even have pants or shoes on, so. Only a shirt.

Hell yeah. I would say, C, are you sitting on a chair with nothing, songs clothing? yeah, I mean the chair has a Like a stud shooting up from it, but yeah God damn it Chris and you got to pock in the background. Yeah, do you know Chris sent me a picture and he said oh no Dude, it's a Sibian. Oh Dude did you just did you just piss from all the pressure it was putting on your prostate

I just had something I just release. Oh, no, dude. I'm sorry guys. I released. I don't release. Oh dude. I'm sorry. I released Chris you're too close man Chris sent me a picture and it said you like my new watch and it was his dick wrapped around his wrist I was so inappropriate. You know what time it is and that's how you know what time it is. Yeah. Well, not really Yeah, not really dude. So your dog collar that's an homage's not a dog collar, dude. Well, what is it? Why would you wear something that thick, that close around your neck? It's a choker. Don't chokers belong to like girls when they go out to clubs?

Dude, I'll tell you what, man. That's not the truth. And what I did was, I didn't have anything on. I didn't have any chains on. And I go, oh yeah, got a zoom with the fuck heads so I go so I go No I like you guys Yeah but the mic are you talking on the mic or you just have the mic behind you

The mic doesn't go through it it just doesn't so I go got a zoom with the fuck heads and then I go and then I'm like oh man and then I look over and on the kitchen peninsula was this and I just put it on so you just leave your bling just lying around any which way in any other any place you want yeah yeah can you can you tighten your mouth up a little bit and be a little respectful with it yeah don't cause fuck heads man it's on 1000 yeah why would you call, don't call it fuck heads, man Yeah, why would you call I don't mean a disrespect for one thousand one, okay? Yeah, I love you guys I love you guys and congratulations. How did you so?

So another question for you guys is how does it feel to actually reach? 1000 well, we never thought we'd get to this point where that were really really killing it and then we got super mediocre. You know what it's really interesting? But it seems like mediocre is the way to go because that's what most things that are the most popular are. Well yeah maybe. I don't know explain that. Can you expand on that terrible statement?

Well you talk about The Rock. You talk about The Rock. He does a bunch of movies. They're all the same except for Cruise, which I actually really enjoyed. But, you know, maybe it's because there's less action, I'm not sure. Anyway, you guys should check out Jungle Cruise, because it's such a fantastic film.

I heard they shot it in Puerto Rico, yeah? Yeah, I don't know. Have you ever been to Puerto Rico, Chris? I have when I was younger once with my family. Funny thing is that the movie Jungle Cruise was actually shot in Puerto Rico. I see it was shot in Puerto Rico in the jungles of Puerto Rico fan. Yeah. The jungles of Puerto Rico.

Uh, and it's hilarious, dude. It's a romp. It's honestly, um, it's a wrong. Yeah. Now, now when you go to a country, Chris, do you study the history? Like you've been to Italy, I think you've been to different places. I just have a, uh, like a wire that I actually hooked up with, uh, hooked up with the, um, the, the Neuralink shit or whatever.

You do that? Wire. You have a wire into it. And then I, so say I'm going to, you know, pop a new Guinea or some shit. I go, all right, well, hook up. And then I go, I don't know if, is that true? And then you're speaking.

Yeah. Yeah. And then I speak all of the- Is that what Sasso did? His Italian was good. You think it's Neuralink? It might be Neuralink. Sasso came on here. Sassu came on here.

Sassu came on here. That's Italian. And that's because I hooked it up to the Neuralink earlier on. Wow. Dude, Sasso came on here and just spoke in Italian the whole time. He only spoke Italian the whole time. It was probably AI.

I hate to break it to you, but it was probably AI. It might have been AI. His whole image was AI. I think he just checked in on Sasso speaking. Yeah. That's what it was. Now, Chris, we always talk about your sallow complexion. Do you ever go, when you go out in the sun?

No, no, sorry. Don't do that though. I know, but we didn't need that. 1000. I'll take a kiss. Cause he did call some fuckheads earlier. Yeah. It's all good.

Can't do it. Can't do anything about it. Anyway, go ahead. Yeah. Did I get you into comedy? My example? Uh, no. Um, man, do you think you're a little close to the camera?

No, I'm all right. Oh, dude, I actually it's a zero gravity in here. Did you know that I did what I did? Yeah, there's zero gravity in here. Not crazy. Yeah, I can kind of see your arm. We're not eight, bro. See your arm, dude. Get out of here arm. Hey, we're not eight, bro. I can see your arm, dude.

Get out of here, phone. Almost hit me in the face, dude. Man, I, yeah. Is that really a zero gravity room? Oh, wow, dude. That's crazy. My son was drinking a bottle. Hold on a second.

I can kind of see your hand holding it though, Chris. Get out of here, water bottle. Hold on. How much did that zero gravity room cost? I'll tell you what. I mean, I don't know how much things cost. What? That's not a great place to put your money. Is it like, it seems like a bad investment. I went to the grocery store today. Yeah.

And I got two things of milk. Yeah. And do you know that milk, two things of milk is only $12? Yeah, that would make sense. I do know that. $6? Yeah. No, same, yeah. Chris, you're kind of slight flexing.

It's not good. You're saying that you don't even look at price tags. Is that what you're trying to say? No, no, no, no, no. I don't really go to milk places or whatever, but like grocery store. All right. Let's do it. What is the average pair of shoes pair of sneakers cost? Let's see if you cost. Yeah. How in tune are you with this? Yeah.

1100. No, no. What about what about a car Chris? How much you think like the cars you drive? How much you think one of your cars are? How much is a car? Yeah a nice car. What kind of car? A Honda? One of the cars you have. Yeah, Honda. A Honda Civic. A new Honda Civic. A 150k right? With all the bells and whistles. No man, you're so off dude. You're just not in touch at all. I don't know. Not in touch. Do you know what time it is? Anyway, I got the two gallons of milk. I brought them home and I drank them all so fucking quick and you drank two gallons of milk

Yeah, and dude Why did you keep drinking the milk? I was I if I tell you I was pissing man. I was pissing I was I vomited. Yeah. Yeah, that's what happened and I shit why well Why did I drink it why you couldn't have had a craving for that much milk? What like after the first it was a deal, dude $6 for one thing. I got two of them. I know you can turn it down Oh, you don't have to load it up. So I just loaded it up. So I just Loaded up on calcium. I know but you can always keep one in the in the fridge and let it go bad that fast I should have done that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, go get more. No. Yeah, but don and let it go bad that fast. I should have done that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll go get more. No, yeah, but don't drink it all like that. All right. There's no rush. Now you are doing a podcast with your brother. How is that going? How is your brother?

I do it straight. It's called Life Flight. I also do Golden Hour. Ever hear of it? Yeah. Brendan's on it. You do it in the studio. So, uh, I did that and I just also announced new dates. So congratulations. I'm going to Duluth, Minnesota.

Where's that? He goes to the most random places. He's also headed to Australia. Oh, you're going to Australia. You're going to have, oh yeah. Do you want to open for me at Zany's this weekend? No, I can't open for you, dude. You should come down.

Sorry. Whoa. Oh man, dude. I'm a, I'm a fuck. I'm allergic to has been stood. Sorry. That's so disrespectful. Even though it's Chris, Chris, I don't think you are in that zero gravity room. I don't, I just can see your hand every time. Okay. Well, yeah, I don't think you are in that zero gravity room. I don't.

I just can see your hand every time. Okay. Well, yeah, I don't. Chris, how many pods you do today? You got your congratulations. Then you also got the one with you and your bro. And then this? Yeah.

You're going to get pissed off actually. Why? Because I was, I had to do two podcasts. I had to do lifeline. Yeah. And this morning they called me and said, we can't do it because, and Brendan, you're going to get upset. Oh no. Somebody got COVID.

Oh, you have COVID? Not me, not me, not me. Eric Griffin has COVID. No, no, no, not him. It's on his end, old fart. It's on my end. Oh, Brian doesn't know how things work. Sorry. Wait, your brother has COVID?

No, no, not my brother. Nobody. No, it's so, and I was like, is our people still even getting it? I didn't even know that, you know, and someone got it. And so we can't record. Okay. But this is, yo, I actually can't believe you guys did a thousand episodes and more, right? It's more than that. Yeah. Audible wise, it's more than that.

Cause that's a thousand from the Fox days. So before that we're doing it all over. All over. That's crazy. What did you guys talk about? Like to celebrate. You have cupcakes right there. Oh, you got cupcakes. I ate one. I've been eating all day and I ate one. Oh, good. That's good for you. I don't, I don't feel good. I'm going to eat one. I have milk if you want some milk with the cupcakes. I'll go get it. I can rush it over. Yeah. No, no, no. I go get six. I go get six of them for them because there's three of us.

Well, you're living in the area now or soon. Yeah, kind of soon. Yeah. He'll be my neighbor. Are you jelly that you're so far? I don't know. Maybe a little bit. Yeah.

My life is a... Well, because Brian, you live in somewhere else at the beach, right? Yes. And that sucks. He basically lives in Phoenix. No, cause I have a view of the ocean. I mean, yeah. Okay. And I guess so. Yeah.

I guess. Yeah. A thousand episodes, Chris. I, how long have I known you? Six, 16 years or 15, 16 years. Has it been that long? Yeah. Well, cause think about it, you guys were doing the 10 minute pot

even before fighting the kid. Yeah. And then before that we were- heavy with Chris Sasso. Yeah. Like the early episodes were a lot of Chris, a lot of Sasso. Yeah. Yeah. So, but I knew you, I remember you opened for Dove and I at the La Jolla comedy store. And I remember, I remember that it was so funny cause you, you took about, you tried on 13 shirts and every time you come out of the room, yeah, I would go, you're going to wear that one. And you go, why this doesn't, and you'd leave and you finally put a tank top on and your chest hair was

sticking straight out. And I was looking at you going, I was looking at how white you were. And then you just did not give a fuck. And you were just walking, and this guy was just looking for a fight, and he just looked at you. You didn't even notice. He looked at you, and he went like this. He was like, he looked at the way you looked. You had like-

It annoyed him. Yeah, it annoyed him so bad, and he went, like that. I get it. You were like, oh, whatever. Yeah, I get it. And then you had some Navy SEALs guys, they were Navy SEALs and they recognized you

They knew you from school. They stopped they stopped their truck and I was like I was like, oh shit those in La Jolla and they were yeah, they were brand new young dudes But they were SEALs and they were all jacked and you did not give a fuck about that I was like dude there were SEALs and you're like, how do you care about all that stuff? I'm yeah you care. Well, you care too much about that stuff, honestly. I mean, it was cool that they made some of themselves. And that guy, that guy's cool. I really liked the guy that I, it was Dutch.

I remember his name was Dutch. That first guy though, that tried to be like, check, you know, I found him six months ago and I killed him and his whole family. So you hold a grudge for a long time. Got him back, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm one of those guys

that kind of just like holds a grudge, you know? Yeah. And if somebody crosses me and I'm'm gonna say it even a little bit what? Yeah, I'm gonna say you do should I say say baby should I say it, you know, I'm gonna say I If someone even crosses me the most Miniscule bit like we're talking about an iota, okay? Yeah, an iota. I'll wipe out their whole lineage. Oh, wow.

That's some kind of so-so shit. Why would you do that? Mafia style. You know, there's a lot of people in the world, I think in China, they're only allowed to have one kid anyway, so it's like... No, no. Fuck it. Yeah.

All right. Now, are you planning on getting more tattoos? Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Don't, don't stop kissing me. Sorry. Yeah.

Why are you going to get, no, why are you going to get more tattoos? Where else are you going to go? You can go face you can go personal only I'm gonna do I'm gonna do I'm gonna so I have a few ideas that I'm kicking around but I've got forehead For sure across like this. I don't think that's gonna like that prison style. No Chris The eyeball no, and then I want to get a small penis tattooed on my penis. This way, if my wife ever, when she makes fun of me

for having a small penis, I'll be like, you're just looking at the wrong one and I'll feel better about myself. That's- So your wife, does she make fun of your small penis? That's crappy, yeah. Yeah, she laughs so, so, so, so, so fucking hard when I take my pants off. Well, Chris, you have a pretty big dong. So I don't know what is her.

Well, what is she? I guess the last guy she was with, she called him duffle bag. So that's so gross. He called him. She called him on the way to the gym duffle bag. God, that's so gross. She called him on the way to the gym duffel bag. Oh God, that's not good, dude. I'm sorry about that. Now you and I did a TV show. It's called Quick and Dirty and we had an act off. We had an act off.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand I've been getting a lot of compliments from it. I think it's doing well on YouTube. On YouTube, oh, what's it on? FX, it's on YouTube. Well don't say TV show then, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well Brian's 57 no, don't say TV show watch it. It's a TV show, right? Yes. Yes, it's on a screen It's a TV. It's not even if it's just a kid running across the street after a ball

Well, and that's that's where I'm at in my career right now. Yeah You got to start somewhere. It's all good. 30 years is fine. We did an acting challenge, which I won. But I, you know. You've been doing it since you were a kid. Let's be honest. Let's be honest.

All bullshit aside, I'm a much better actor. No. Right? And I won that one. Who won the contest though? Me, me, me. Well, it that one. Who won the contest? Well, it's up to the people who comment. If you go to quick and dirty, if you go to my channel,

then you'll comment a lot of comments. Can I do that on Netflix or is that an FX? So where do I read the comments? So you go to Netflix and then what you do is you hit apps and then you go over to YouTube. OK. OK, I'm just confused. But you can watch it on the same screen.

So it's on like HBO Max or like Max where I go to it? Yes, so watch. Because you said TV shows. Yeah, so you have your TV. It's both of you? Yeah, you can watch it on the same TV that you would watch Max on so it's the same TV. Gotcha. Right, so you go to Max or you'd go to Netflix, right? And then you hit apps and then you go over to YouTube and it's they'll pop up in the exact same space as it was on Max. Oh, it's the same pop up in the exact same space as it was on Mac Oh, it's the same thing. It's basically you're watching me comment Yeah, you can comment if you want and that's the one the one thing that you can also honestly to be fair

It's not meant you could comment on Netflix and max too. You just have to do it from your living room You just got to be like this shit sucks. You can do that too. Yeah, can't or make you know a lot of people make it racist people make comments race yeah they do yeah like yeah you know down with I don't know if you're in whoever right have you ever had a racist thought Chris yeah and this is why you guys were aware on YouTube probably yes right one of the reasons I have I have racist thoughts yeah but I go like this hey hey thought get out of here. Yeah, come on man. Not today. I'll go be cool You had a coffee shop in your own house. You had a coffee shop in your own house that had a whites only sign I think But that wasn't that was a found. It's a water fountain. The water fountain said whites only that was the management

You understand yeah, man, well you're looking at me? Hey, no, hey, stop eating. Yeah, that's a point dude. Would you disrespect? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh You're making me. I enjoy it. No, I don't want you to do that. Don't go. Don't do that. I don't want you to do that to me. Cause I know that that's your way of asserting dominance and I don't fucking like it. Hey, Chris, does it bother you that Brian, uh, hopes that you don't keep putting on muscle? Does it bother you that secretly he's hoping you don't continue to get shredded? I'm stronger and I'm a better athlete. I don't know. I would beat you at any sport.

I actually hurt my shoulder, so I'm on a little bit of the DL, but I'll be back. Yeah, so fine you can cheer No, I won't cheer, but you you don't have the tendon strength to be doing what you're doing Don't say that well you break down. Oh No, I break it down. I break it down to break it down. Yeah, I break it down. Yeah If you play the Sugarhill Gang and I'm around, forget it. Yeah. Well, I mean, we play now, but no, no, I'm saying, but it's YouTube. But if you play, if you sit, you play anything from Daniel

Bedingfield and I'm there, I break it down. Really? Daniel. Oh yeah. Now I've never seen you dance. Can you dance if your life depended on it? Can you dance? I've it down. Really? Daniel. Oh yeah. I've never seen you dance. Can you dance? Have your life depended on it?

Can you dance? I've seen him. You didn't. You see him dancing on that spike show back in the day. Yes. That motherfucker can move his hips. Yeah. That was Demi Lovato's song.

Yeah. I remember you dancing on that. Demi. Yeah. That was me. That was me dancing to Demi Lovato. Oh, have you ever met Demi? No, no. Yeah.

And honestly, I don't know. Is she crazy? I thought she was maybe crazy. Because she became non-binary. She was in a car. She had a hard time of it. Yeah. It's a talent. She was dating one of our buddies. Yeah, dating one of our buddies. She can sing. Oh, she can sing.

I mean, there's some demons there She's coming out 100% you can really sing really good though. You were you definitely were fucked up, you know Yeah, I can sing. Oh Yeah, you got some you want to talk about I have a nice I have nice pitch No, don't and a good you really don't right? But I if I want to if I really want to open up, which I'm not going to do, I can say it. You're not going to do it because you can't. But for me, you know, 525,600 minutes.

Chris is classically trained. You're classically trained. Yeah, dude. Wow. His dad paid for lessons. How do you measure? Oh, no. It's all high.

Measure a year. Measure a year. Oh, god. There you all measure a year measure. There you go. That's that. Oh, Jesus Christ. Pop that out right away. Yeah. Let's hit the buzzer and turn our chairs around. Right. No, it's not. That's turning the chairs around. Guys, I fucking hate. I hate I hate when my wife makes fun of my cock, dude.

Man, this is not appropriate for a podcast. You should. I don't mean it. But nobody fucking really watches this I hope it doesn't get out there. No, it's gonna get out there Chris. This is Dude, okay. What is going on? What is she doing? I hate to pry Just she goes like it's so fucking embarrassing Dude, okay. So what she goes like this whenever I get out of the shower. She goes like this. Oh Okay, that's not nice does that mean that she's, it's cute or she.

She goes like this. Are you hilarious? And she says it, but in between laughing in between laughing, she's trying to catch her breath and she's saying that's hilarious. Here's what's bothering me. Cause I've seen what you're working with. It's nothing to laugh at, dude. So in my head I go, can I ask you what she's seen before? Question I think I

dated Johnny Duffel back. I might be able to help you. Are you when you when you get out of the shower is your dick wearing a clown nose? Brian, we're trying to be serious here, dude. He's really might be the weirdest question anyone's ever asked me in my life. Well, if it's dressed like a clown dick, she's gonna laugh at

it. So stupid. No, dude. Okay. It's not just like a fucking clown. I know. Honestly, you're not making a lot of things. I don't even know where to go with that. I mean, you're not making him feel better. He's coming out to us as wife less less that a small dick. I'm trying to ask him if he has a clown suit on it Paint it black see if she laughs. Yeah

Hey Cal Cal's here so Let's talk about other things. Yeah, let's not talk about you know, what? Hey Cal Chris what do you do with your day you podcast you have man? I I work out I get coffee I hang with my children dude they're awesome and my wife and then I you know what's up buddy I like those jammies so much like you he's so cute I love him hi Calvin it's Brian how you doing buddy what's up? I like those cozies. You look so much like that.

I like that you don't want to change, even though Christmas isn't in right now. He is Chris. He doesn't want to change. He loves it. Oh, yeah. He's mini Chris. All right. All right. I love you. He's the best.

Yeah, he has the Christmas PJ. Hey, hey, you have a skateboard behind you, but you've never skateboarded. Can you even... What's a two-pock skipper? Can you ride a two-wheeler? Because I feel like you can't do anything that normal people do. You're talking about a bicycle, bro. Yeah, if you said, if you said, if you said, I can't swim, I wouldn't bat an eye, there's

no reason why you can do anything that normal kids can do. Just like regular swimming? Like if you're like, I use Velcro on my shoes, I never learned how to tie my shoelaces. That's how strange you are. Hey Chris, did your parents, did you, as a kid, they sign you up for like T-ball or little league or anything? You ever try any of that? No, I did baseball, I did basketball.

They trained me to rob banks. I never robbed any, but. No, I was with his family and Chris was, I didn't know him very well and we're all sitting around and he's just, he was wedged in between all of us and we were just talking and then he was like, he goes, ah, I move, I move. And he had to get up and just start walking around. I go, what's up? He goes, I can't sit like that. I looked at his dad. I go, and his dad goes, that's his part for the course. That's Chris.

He's not going to sit still for a long time. Yeah, you're welcome, because I'm being the true me, so sorry, dude. No, it's okay. Oh yeah, you want a representation of me, right? I can't help it. No, and then your dad said, you're the son I never had, and he hugged me.

No, dude, he didn't. Okay, first of all, my dad couldn't have you, because he was a ten. His dad would say, you're the brother I've never had, right? Right? You're the brother I've never had. Right? Right? The brother I've never had. All right.

You know. All right. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I don't know if he could have had you at fucking seven years old. All right. I'm just saying. Take it easy. Yeah.

Well, yeah. And my mom was six. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, they were dating. Yeah, my dad and my mom were dating at lunchtime. They conceived you. Yeah. Well, so yeah dating. Yeah, my dad and my mom were dating at lunchtime. They conceived you Yeah, well, okay. So yeah. Yeah. So yeah, okay

Well, you know, we love you bud. We have to get you on because you've won guests of the year You want the original guys? Oh, wow. It's still you still in space there The zero gravity chamber is pretty awesome so So expensive, I think, probably. I know. But listen, I love you guys too, and I'm in a tight thing. I got to get going. It sucks. God, man, that didn't even look like you had a watch up there. Yeah, I didn't see a watch there.

Where do you have to go? Where do you have to go? Oh, shit. I tell time by the fucking sun anyway, and I'll look it's fucking I gotta go Sounds like you're inside. Where you what do you what do you have to do? Oh? There's so much fucking Shit over there. I gotta go fix it Alright brother. Well, we love you, man

Go fix my eyes. Oh, thanks, sweetie. It's uh, I Don't know. I don't set these. I just wear them as bracelets. It's a nice Rolex. Dude, I hope that it's uh, I hope that um, I hope that if people watch this 100,000th episode and I think that it's great that you guys are doing this and I uh, I love you guys and I know we talk a lot of jokes and stuff, but I love you. Love you pal, pal. You're the best. We love you too, pal. We'll see you soon. See you soon, pal. You're the best.

See you guys. You're the best. Let's take a break. Dude, for our podcast, one of the ways I've been able to talk so long is I'm on that Happy Hippo product. That's right. Pills, gummies, powders, however you want to get your Kratom, they make the best of best.

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you will sink to the level of your training, which is zero if an emergency happens, if a disaster happens, if your life's threatened, if your family's life is threatened. You gotta be ready. I wish there was an app that would teach me. It's called Fieldcraft Survival. Thank God.

That's the app, okay? There's a monthly subscription. You'll get 30 days free using code FIGHTER30FREE. For annual subscriptions, you'll get 35% off your annual subscription using code fighter 35 We also have discounts on products and training use code fighter 20 for 20% off your training and product learn how to The app will teach you there's training and there are products to get you ready I don't go anywhere without my fieldcraft survival kit because I want to be ready in case something happens. You know why? Because you are your first responder.

So all you got to do is go to fieldcraftsurvival.com, use the code FIGHTER20, get 20% off training and products at fieldcraftsurvival.com. Let's get back to the program. I think the line of the entire day was Andrew Schultz saying, no one's ever said this sentence before. I toured the country fighting. Oh man. It's been a long one. I can't believe I said that too. And I've said that many times before where I was like, I toured the country.

Yeah, I let it slide. What are you talking about? Tour the country. I went to tournaments in different parts of like, you know. It's been a long one, dude. We've had, what do we go? We got Chrissy D, Crystal Leo, Schultz, Rapaport, you know. It's been a long one, dude. We've had, what do we got? Chrissy D, Crystal Leo, Schulte, Rappaport, Sasso. So good.

And now we got fan questions. We're about almost four hours here. Yeah. The boys are still going. We'll clip it down. It's probably be clipped down. It's gonna be long though. Be long?

Let's do it. Let's do some fan questions before we start. Fan questions, zanies, I'll see you next Friday. Brian B. Nashville for the seventh fucking time. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Zanies, briancount.com, get your tickets. Just so the fans know, all the questions, we got a million of them, especially on Instagram. We got a good amount on email as well.

But Chin and Sanaz and what, Mark, that's who, you guys went through all the questions. So we don't know what to expect. So it's- By the way, shout out to Chin and Sinaz. And Chin, you've been with us for, how many episodes would you say? 12 years. Is that a lot?

I don't know, a lot. 24 years. Mr. Consistency, the one guy who never calls in sick. He's always here. How about Sinaz? Hasn't been with us long, but drives from fuckin' Orange County. Sinaz is amazing, I love her.

I told her I loved her today. She's incredible. So you guys really are a huge part of the show for real. All bullshit aside. We appreciate you a lot. And that's why me and Chin have come up with a plan to kill you in Alaska. I wish you would. I fucking wish you would kill me. I could make that happen. I'm psyched that Chin's coming with us, man. So am I.

Yeah, it's gonna be great. It's either gonna be the best of time or the worst Apparently get neoprene gloves because it makes all the difference. I guess I have gloves, but I'll look for neoprene What are neoprene? I looked it up. It's like that's like scuba gear, right? It's just like we were for a wet suit I don't know. Where do you I guess I get off Amazon. Yeah, you get everything off. Can't you get off Amazon? I mean or maybe REI you can go to or something. but it's part of me just go to Amazon Amazon has literally everything I show up the next day. Yeah Yeah, yeah, you're pretty sure I'll walk around an REI, you know, there are people dressed like you though I just know what size my hands are

Small my hands are not small. No, hold on. Yes, super small. My hands aren't small do XL or whatever No, if I get mediums cuz you'd rather have big than tight. You want big, yeah. I don't want tight clothes. Get double X. Well, your hands aren't so big. I mean, I want large XL. Everything I do, yeah. Literally everything. Yeah, you're a big boy.

Alright, what do you got, Sinaz? Alright, so we got a lot of questions. We'll start with a couple easy ones. What do you think the most important thing you learned while the man dragon was dealing with BS canceling? And that comes to us from Alan Tucker, 07 on Instagram. You take it, because you went through it. And then, no, I went through it. Like we both went through some shit there.

Different because you actually went through the actual bullshit. then you got to realize I basically going through it with my brother because we're in this marriage, so it was like a double-sided thing. You go first though. That thing you're saying. Well, I mean, part of it's losing everything.

Like part of it's just going through, like you spend your whole life building something and then just out of the blue, somebody says something about you, tells a story about you doesn't matter if it's from 1999 doesn't matter what it is The matter if it's true your whole life most important doesn't matter if it's true. Yeah, I mean, yeah Yeah, fuck how old it is. Yeah, number one the way doesn't matter if it was yesterday and the matter is 2012 And I matters 1992. Yes, it wasn't fucking true Exactly. And so that's the one thing that got me through it

But more importantly what I also realized what it was no matter who you are and no matter what you've done You don't have a right to think that you're gonna be able to hold on to anything there is a there is no permanence in life and Everything is transitory and everything will come and go. Your success, your health, your looks, your status, your popularity, you'll have your ebbs and flows. And I remember looking in the mirror and I said, let's see who I am now because I lost everything, man. I mean, I did. I lost everything and including my community and everything. And you get very, very isolated. But I never stopped writing, I never stopped working out,

I never stopped being a good father, I never stopped being a good partner to my now wife. I never stopped. And I said to myself, if I go down, I'm gonna suffer well. And I'm gonna prove to myself and the people I care about who I know I've always been and Who I I've known I was my whole life and that's an opportunity to prove to the world But most importantly yourself and those you love what kind of person you really are who are you now?

Motherfucker when they when they're trying to kill you and make no mistake You're in a boat in the middle of the ocean with no paddle. And it's the worst thing in the world. You don't sleep, nothing's good, right? People don't realize what it is. You lose everything. But you gain a lot too. You gain a lot.

Yeah, you gain a lot in the end. I think for me is, I guess what I didn't realize, few things. One, when it first got drawn to my attention, Brian called me, you know, and I forget. And I was was like it's a tweet and it's not true who gives a shit like I know I know Brian I know Brian better than anybody I was like no who gives a fuck how long ago and it's fake like it's a tweet we don't have to worry about it I didn't realize that that movement was gonna actually like what's

gonna do so all it takes is no evidence takes one person which I didn't you know at time I'm like who gives it people say shit all the time like that doesn't matter didn't realize what I was gonna bring and another thing I didn't realize is With Brian with Chris's shit like I know that with Chris stuff like I've talked I know stuff You guys don't know I wouldn't stick behind a guy if any of that was true I know shit you guys don't know so for people to get mad like I can't believe you defend them, like, that's what friends do. Now, I'm from the background where I come from.

That's what friends do. You back your friends no matter what. I didn't realize that it would kind of, you would, how many friends we'd lose in the, in the comic community, like how many friends we'd lose? In the comic community, like how many friends we would lose? And for a long time I was very upset at that. And now, we've gotten through it, now I'm glad that happened. Because now we know what we're dealing with,

we know who we can bank on, who we can't, all good. And I just, I never expected that. Straight up never expected that. And you know, it just, people show their true colors. They show their true colors. Part of when you go through that is learning how to forgive anybody who jumps ship. And here's why.

What you have to understand is we live in a world where anyone can say anything about you. People can tell a story and they can take everything from you. We all know this. People lose their entire livelihood off a Twitter storm. People say something and everybody jumps on it. It is the first time in history in a lot of ways.

Well, not the first time, but social media has that dark side. If someone writes an article, if there is a certain thing, you are done. All they have to do is tell a story. Johnny Depp, the biggest movie star in the world, what did he say when they said, what did you lose because of Ms. Herd's story? Nothing short of everything. And that was Johnny Depp.

But to your point, I think the reason you're saying this is a lot of people I was mad at, a lot of it's fear. Fear, fear. Because even if they support us behind closed doors, it would text Brian, they were like, I just don't want, like, if this is what they can do, we're out. You're next. Everybody's next in a world like that.

If you can lose your entire livelihood off a story, you're next. Yeah, I guess I just didn't realize, like, obviously, I have nothing to do with it, but I defend my friends. It created teams. And people went, oh, well, Brendan defend, not only do with it, but I defend my friends. It created teams, and people went, oh, well, Brendan not only defends them, but brings them on the show, does a show with them.

Like, so it made, it ostracized me from certain comedy clubs. And, you know, I'm like, wait, what? Wait, you're not sending me available style? I didn't do anything. Ah, but you did. You're on that team. We're on this team. I went, okay. And all that, I'd go do anything. Ah, but you did. You're on that team. We're on this team.

I went, okay. And all that I'd go, okay. That was less so. Like there are people that are, yeah, we live in a very polarized culture. It's a culture war right now. And so a lot of times it was exactly like with COVID. If you weren't all in on masks and social distancing

and vaccines, you were already over there. You were branded far right. You were branded far right, you were branded all kinds of stuff. We're living in a time where bad lines are being drawn. Here's my thing, I can understand why some of them didn't speak up for Brian and Chris, I get it. I get it, because you're scared. Brian and Chris are two different things too.

No, honey, no, I'm saying that whole cancel thing. It's one thing. We're all different. All of us are in our different boats. But still, you guys are voting off the island. So my thing is, I can understand that some people want to do it because they're scared of it. And then some, I don't understand because of course, I realize I get some blowback, but it's like, I don't respect it. I don't care if I talk to someone anymore. I'm like, oh, I'm good. You're not giving me my foxhole.

It's all good. So I think with some of it, all good. All good. It's all good. Follow up to that. So have you guys had friendships where you've had to navigate this like, hey, we love you, but we just don't want to talk about

or kind of help you out right now? Never, never. Because I'm that 3 a.m. friend. Never. That's not how I'm sure. You tell me a better friend you have. Again, and I hope I have friends now. Never, never. Cause I'm that 3 a.m. friend. Never. That's not how I'm sure. You tell me, you tell me a better friend you have. Again, and I hope I have friends like this in my life. If shit goes down, if I'm your real friend,

there's people that were business associates or whatever, we work together or we have a, you know, whatever, a brand together, that's different. Like there's a few handful of friends where I don't give a fuck what you're going through, I'm the guy you call. and I take pride in that. I'm the fucking guy you call. Yeah, look, my, um, my know who I am and the people around me know who I am.

And I, one of the things I showed my, one of the things I showed with the time I was going through it, the people that I had hired, one was a publicist, the other was a lawyer, should never have hired a publicist, never. But I was, you know, you're in a panic mode and people say, you gotta do this, you're gonna need a crisis stuff. I should have just, I made a video because I wanted people to see my face.

But the one thing I have, I showed them, I said, you need to know, you need to believe I'm innocent. I can't have you thinking, I can't have you as a hired gun. It's very important that you know, and I showed them my side. I showed them, I showed them what the truth was. And that was very important to me.

So if anybody is going through anything in life, you guys, and you will, align yourself with the truth, align yourself, get key into who you really are, kin to the best side of yourself. Get close to those people that love you and just fucking go through it. Go through it, accept everything as it is, lose it all and, and re rebuild from there. But just, just, yeah, but people do, they get terminal diseases. They lose a kid. A lot of, a lot of bad shit happens to people.