The Fighter & The Kid - Wrinks and the Black | TFATK Ep. 903

Episode Date: June 15, 2023

Bryan Callen and Brendan Schaub talk Bryan's hair growing and getting darker after going back on supplements, comparing themselves to other dads, the Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary, Bry's crazy masseuse story, current events around the world and much more! BetterHelp - This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/FIGHTER and get on your way to being your best self House Of Macadamias - For a limited time, Fighter and the Kid listeners a free box of 45% macadamia snack bars - one of each flavor - when you visit houseofmacadamias.com/tfak plus 20% off your entire order with code TFAK Onnit - https://onnit.com/fatk  

Yes we did, cause we got candy again It's the finaly and the kid This is really the finaly kid Come on baby Couple things for the room I want you to take a look at daddy Is there something different about me? Aside from the fact that I defy time

Get take a look Cause I'm noticing it, I'm gonna notice it right now What do you see about my, just my face. Lever spot on your hand? Lever's face. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm trying to figure. I don't have a liver spot on my hand.

You're cool, new cake. I think I'm a little less gray. And I'll tell you why I think I'm the last one. Yeah, you look a little, you put some dust up there. No, I didn't put anything in there. I think I'm on a supplement regimen and I swear to God, I think it's the last stop. Yeah, you look a little, you put some dust up there. No, I didn't put anything in there. I think I'm on a supplement regimen and I swear to God, I think it's making you that's great. Oh God, it goes, what, given the promo code.

No, I don't have a promo code. I don't have a company. I'm paying for expensive supplements. Oh, no, here we go. But I think that I'm, I think that I'm like, I called Rogan and I go, dude, you've been taking supplements. I've been making fun of you forever. And now that you've been taking supplements, I've been making fun of you forever. And now that I've been taking supplements,

I will never go back. Because Brian, I know, I go, no, but I have, feel so good my energy. He goes, who are you talking to? You've been anti-supplement forever. You know, two of your best friends being Rogan, swear by supplements. I didn't know you swear by supplements.

Me? Yeah. I've been taking some of the things I was like in fifth grade. Man, like what do you take? I all sorts of stuff, man. This isn't about me. What do you take? Well all sorts of stuff, man. This isn't about me. What do you take? Well, all I know is I think my hair's gotten darker.

And I know all you guys are just looking at me and I don't really give a fuck. Somebody said, okay. It does look dark on top. See? Is it more full of them? See, is it full? It's so weird though.

I mean, I'm not joking. I think I'm kind of blown away by it. I don't know. But I'm taking, I'm taking, I'm taking, I'm taking, Omega threes with, from'm not joking. I think I'm kind of blown away by it. I don't know. But I'm taking, but I'm taking, facial oil or I'm taking omega threes with, from visual, with CQ 10. Yeah. Whatever the fuck that is,

that's supposed to be good for your hair and your hair. Yeah. And then I'm taking vitamin D, then I'm taking a really high and a multivitamin. I'm taking ton cat Ali, which is supposed to raise your testosterone by 10 to 20%. That's not real. I don't know.

It's an herb. Yeah, sure. I take creatine and I take magnesium at night. It's not, and oh, I do a green, and I do a green plus thing, like an athletic green, so I don't want to. Yeah, in the morning. I think all of it is fucking real.

Oh, wow, you really changed. But you're like that next week. It's gonna be us. No, no, no, no, I I've been talking shit about supplements for a hot second. And here's the here's the real thing that tickles my asshole. Yeah. Is we've been swung to my audit for 10 years. You're so shit. And I know. But I was taking with on I take the Crillo oil was awesome. I take the I was zoomed in. oil was awesome. I take the, Zoom tech is amazing. But do you assume that like fish oil is not as, do you consider it a supplement?

Well, crit oil is, and crit oil is a good thing. But it's a, it's a fish oil. Right. You mean do I talk? I'm talking as a, instead of just eating fish. Yeah, would you consider it a supplement like you can get that in your food,

like creating, if you've, you always like believe in fish oil is anecdotal. My, my my my well no well one of the sound I'm asking for the official yeah that's science but I'm saying you but there's a difference in eating fish and taking fish or so my my my uncle was 90 he couldn't walk very well he'd ate fish he was very very healthy literally is 96 he started taking fish and he goes whatever that he

was always skeptical like I am he walked 40 blocks he goes, whatever, he was always skeptical like I am. He walked 40 blocks, he goes, it's unbelievable the difference in how I feel. Damn, official, like 40 blocks. Yes, because his joints were more, you know, I don't know, they worked better. Now, he's doing visual and cocaine, right? Now that, yeah, because visual is not known to do that, right?

I think it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, why it helps you walk? Yeah, yeah, because if you have I hope to enjoy it joins Yeah, that's what I mean yeah, so it takes a hot second to kick in though Like you'll be taking it for a while so you say that my are you saying that my

I said your uncle's shit and it's all story is not scientific took one was like I can Wow I make it to be fashion if I it has, it's essential for proper development. Eyes, brains, for fun. Yeah, fish oil is great. Well, either way, I think that I've noticed a difference over time, right? It takes a while. It takes a minute.

All supplements take a second. Yeah, like three months. Even steroids, it takes a second. Yes, well, I know this now for six months. H-H-Tate, you're looking at six months for a seed benefit. Oh, really? Yeah, super expensive.

How about testosterone? It takes a while, man. Yeah. All that takes a while. Yeah. But you're finally on the kick, huh? Yes. There's also that placebo effect, too, but then that, that's real too. When you take something, you feel stronger, you know, in the gym, like, man, taking this stuff, I feel stronger. Well, I do think I don't think that, of course, that mushrooms, which is

what Shroom Tech is, it on it. Yeah. And I do think that a creatine does make you stronger. I actually think that's all science, though, be that's not like, yeah. That's nothing to debunk there. We know for a fact, creatine like my mom. Creatines the most study that apparently is most study. Creatines in red meat like a motherfucker, like all those guys that do the, you know, the carnivore diet, like creatines through the fucking roots. Creatine, we create to make your fat face now Give you a fat face because it's store monohydrate stores a ton of water now a ton of water now Now I'll tell you it's speaking supplements like a little confession

Now I was taking propitias, you know, it's taken you know, I don't know that what the hell had happened I thought you you took it years ago You said me or lamp No, I didn't make my, it never made my way. That's why you told me that was the problem. No, I said that it had no effect on my wiener. I was one of the guys who was like, I'm like, so I'm like, this doesn't have any effect on my dick.

I take it, well, well, Brandon, start taking it again. And I forgot, you know, I just take it. I don't think about it. It's a pill, I don't know. And I was like, I looked at my, in my mirror, I was getting a little chubby here, Bob. Oh yeah, the salad bag. That's not me.

Daddy got the salad bag. You know, I'm not like, I got, I'm a trim kid. I'm a trim kid. I acto morph. Yeah, so I'm like, what the, what's going on here? And then my boobies were getting, they felt a little bit like, ooh hot.

I was like, is that gyna, hot flash? What's going on with that? But that's not even anything. I, I was crying a lot. Now, you know I'm dead behind this. Yeah, estrogen in it. So it sounds like you had to. Let me get to it.

Let me get to it. I gotta get to it. Cause you know I'm pretty dead behind daddy, daddy ain't emotional. No, yeah, you're just basically a serial killer. Daddy was crying. Oh, like, you're like meatloaf and fight club. Oh, oh, blah, blah.

I was crying over kind of everything. I didn't bring him up, Chin. I would start crying because I didn't cry. Anything in Danny, my wife would go, are you crying again? And I was like, I don't know what's going on with me. Then I tried to make a speech at Tark's wedding. And I couldn't get through it, blah, blah.

That's a wedding, though. I know. If you care about Tark, I'll get you there. And you can get big tits. Get big tits. He got it, Bob. That's a wedding though that I know I know I know I know you there But I was crying big tits He he got it on video he was like making so much fun of me. It was hilarious But I was I was a weepy willing your emotional. I got I got you know I got my boy my boys looked under my hood said we're gonna look under your hood Oh, yeah, all that yeah, and they said now your testosterone's high

You did all that studies and they said now you test osterones high you got high testosterone You don't need testosterone at 56 sounds like some haters make sense right? I got high testosterone I've always done that yeah, we know that but they said you're you're sex binding Collabula God goblin is yeah, whatever it is is it's called goblin's It's time you're tying your testosterone up. So you're not freed up. Oh, see, you're not. You're free testosterone. Right. And your estrogen levels are super high.

I guess they're supposed to be at something like seven. They were at 37. Something crazy like that. Oh, it's because you've been reading all that liberal shit. And like voting. I thought that was what it was, Bob. So I stopped reading all that liberal shit. And then that didn't change anything.

And did it hit you when you were marching in the gap right the other day? They said didn't hit me in that either. Wow, I thought I figured I would do it. No, because I have a great wig and I have somebody, I was wearing high heels, I hurt my feet. Okay. And I thought the pain would cry.

It wouldn't cry. Okay, that didn't do it. Maybe also being a bottom and poppers in my nose and just taking it deep. Yep. That didn't do it either? That was in a red flag poppers in my nose. That's in doing it. Taking it deep. That didn't do it. That was in a red flag. No. All right.

So I'm doing all this stuff. I'm doing all this stuff. I mentioned that I was taking Propecia, and they were like, well, there it is. And then I looked it up. Look, man, you might keep your hair. Your estrogen levels go through the roof. I'd rather be bald.

Bro, I was like, I took that shit, I was like, this will never happen again. It's like, and I'm back to being dead behind the ice for a lot of energy. Well, it's like that Rick and Morty episode when the devil comes to town, he opens a pawn shop and he's just giving stuff away. And people are taking it and then the devil's like,

what do you want? And the guy's like, I want all the women. So he gives them all the women and then he comes back and he's like, what, my dick doesn't work. This is a curse. So it's the same thing with you. It's like I would rather be bald or high energy than have a full main

and like tits and love handles. Correct. Why is that a side effect? That's true. Because when you block T-H-T, which is a certain type of testosterone, which creates the baldness, the follicles. Yes, it's also an important part of your estrogen,

pro-ideas. It's also, yeah, I'm sorry. D.H.T. It's also a very important component of your overall testosterone. Dude, finasteride and estrogen, that these include in large breast and men, increased body fat levels, sexual problems.

Kid me right now. No estrogen can't also lead to hair growth. Hey man. Right. I don't care about that. That's why male to female transgender persons take estrogen injections or patches. Wow.

I mean bro. Did you base turn into a chick? Bro. Emotional. It was the big red flag when we were at Starbucks. You're like, refer to me as they. I was like, dude, what is he, your hair looks refer to me as they I was like dude What is she happy? I think your hair looks dope. They yep, and I know I said remember that because you go hey dude and I go excuse me

It's all full circle. Are you hit bro when you went bro? You hit me with your heteronormative have an honor of capitalist imperialistic male patriarchal Comments long sentence. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. You know that I do remember bro Your hair is looking good. You know it bro. How do you it's a they and today today today? I am I am category less Yes, all right damn. Hey, forget Propecia, dude Well, I did Bob. I had to forget that shit. But your hair's popping hair's popping I got to get it still got tips. Yeah, that's your thing take some mention your hair's popping. Hair's popping. So you got two other things. Still got tits. Yeah, that's your thing. Take some, your hair pops.

You just been doing nothing for the first time. My hair's darker. I'm pissed. It is darker. It is a little darker. It's a one to make fun of you. It's kind of a little darker. I know.

Weird. Very weird. So I might, don't be surprised if I start looking 30. Because you know I move like 30. Yeah. Yeah. You got to take care of. Maybe you'll take a little break. 30. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta take care of it. Maybe can we take a little break?

Yes, yes, yes. Can we take a little break? Real quick. Your brain needs a break. Yep, for sure. And I'm taking a break. You're taking a break next week. I'm taking a break next week.

The fine kid is going dark next week. There will be no episodes. Brian is in Jerusalem. What is real, dude? Is real? And Jordan. I'm hitting the middle east. You're fighting the good fight.

Yeah, I'm going to do some stuff. I'm going to walk in my seat. We can't talk about it. No, we can't talk about it. We can't talk about it. You're fighting the good fight. Yeah, I'm going to do some stuff. I'm gonna walk in my sleep. We can't talk about it. We can't talk about it. We can't talk about it. We can't talk about it. The final kid is off next week, so stay tuned. Yeah, we will be back the following week

with some more fun podcast. Oh yeah. This episode of The Fire and the Kid is brought to you by Better Health. Better Health, you got to take care of it. That's right. It's so uneasy. It caught up in what everyone else needs from you.

Trust me. And never take a moment everyone else needs from you. Trust me. And never take a moment to think about what you need for yourself. But when we spend all our time given, it can leave us feeling stretched thin and burned out. Look, let me explain to them. You need somebody to talk to. Me too. You can't just be a friend.

It's gotta be a professional. I'm telling you, I've been there. Sometimes you just need somebody to talk to. And you go through your thing and you're like, none of my boys wanna hear this. And I feel we're talking them. But you can get you can get paired up with a license therapist in under 48 hours. Yeah.

If you're thinking of starting therapy, give it, find another person. They will help you. But I'm telling you sometimes talking to a therapist that's licensed and knows this stuff is a game change. If you think of starting therapy, give better help. A try it's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule.

Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with your license therapist and switch whenever you want. No additional charge. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash fighter today to get temps off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash fighter.

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That's who would you would make that trade? There are people just shave your head, dude Here's another thing and I want to see if you do this. I know you don't, but this is why I have problems. I went to my son's fifth grade graduation. Now, I don't know if you know this, but in Santa Monica, if you were just born, you're amazing and special. And every step of the way must be celebrated. I'm gonna use Pram with all of this.

Must be celebrated. If you ever recital, everybody's there. Yay! You can sound like... Do you have it such? Like, dude, you were soital, everybody's there. Yay, you can sound like. Do you have it such like, did you, you were so good. It's the Woody Allen joke. If you sound like somebody's song, a trumpet and half, it doesn't matter, your parents are videotaping it.

You're amazing, it's incredible, okay? So that I'm right with you on that. I don't believe that that's how you should be raised, actually. I think too much affirmation can be too much, like anything else is about. All in you in the real world, you get kicked in the nest. You're like, oh, everyone's not done thing on the greatest? No.

My son goes fifth grade's a little different because I'd say he didn't interrupt you. Fifth grade, I can under, I think all of it's bullshit. Fifth grade I can understand because he's going into middle school. We're gonna celebrate, you celebrate fifth grade. There you go. In graduation high school.

Correct. And then graduation college. So you have three celebratory, I'm right with you on that too. that, but even fifth grade is all my parents. It was very sweet though because the music that they have a musical director That does an amazing job of the kids are all playing great. Yeah, it was beautiful. I like them. So But here's why I have problems. I'm just watching my kids. It's all the other parents What I do is I go like this I just stand I'm standing and I'm assessing every dad I'm looking at his jawline I'm looking at his belly and I'm like I'm in better shape than every fucking father here and

that's how it is and if it came down to it if there was a squid games if you locked that door and you don't run all of them you said Brian the here goes there's a squid game you're gonna outrun all of them right well is that where you're going with this you're gonna outrun all of them, right? Well, is that where you're going with this? You're gonna outrun all of them, right, Brian? No, I'm not You're not tough around those dads. Yeah, okay, go ahead. You said no, do you think you said everybody's gonna go? You got to fight the death you outrun them put your money on me mother. I will erase 100% no Hey, no raise. Hey, you're pretty bad. You know, I don't like this stuff, man This doesn't through me and you and this I know you're more gay than I am. Yeah.

So when I do those things, I'm checking out the moms, right? You're checking out the dads. That will always be the reason. No, I check out the moms too much. I check out the moms too. But now, if I was in a public school, there are plenty of men who are going to give me a run for my money.

But there's something about a private, small, Santa Monica school. Different, right? Demo. Different demo. Now I've small Santa Monica school. Different, right? Demo. Different, different demo. Now I've come to my school. Oh, well that's, that's where you got real athletes. I'm the poor, we're by far the poorest family there.

Not even real. I know, not even, my nephews. Correct, you know how? I need to go to that school. I'm by far, not even remotely close. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. Yeah. Real money. And by the way, correct, my world. I'm defending the wall. remotely close. They are embarrassing. I'm a person. I'm a person.

Yeah. Real money. And by the way, correct, my bro. I'm defending the wall. Some of the best athletes. Some of the best athletes. I'm defending the wall. An athletic pool.

That's a real athletic powerhouse pool. I'm never seeing anything like it. Right? Never seen anything like it. Yeah. The dad's like, well, I'm just NBA dick in my face the entire thing. Real athlete. Big black dick., all right.

Monsters. Monsters. So you're not even, you're, you're, you're a comic. You feel bad. I'm like quiet. You know, they talk to me. I'm like, China shoes and stuff.

Yeah. It's humbling. Well, you, you're not walking in like big man on campus. Let's put it that way. You get a sense of what it'd be like for, for you in high school there. It's like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you mean the, you mean the mix?

I'd be funny. I'd be the funny guy. If you like. You guys like me's like, you mean the mix? I'd be funny. I'd be the funny guy if you like. You guys like me, but oh, like it hurt my feelings. Like my son came home, I was like, this kid and this kid, this kid they're going to believe whatever for some or what are we doing.

I'm like, and all the dads are going, they don't, I'm not even, they don't invite me. Like they know, like they did, first thing, and I was like, what? And I was like, what, no, huh? How much is it? Oh, absolutely not. And they're like, ah, he's joking.

I'm like, no, no, I can't afford that, you know? Yeah, because yeah. And then I think, and for my son, you know, he's just like, I don't, why can't we go? I'm like, I don't, well, I don't have $100,000 for that, for a week. I was like, do we get, his dad owns the fucking, you know, the Lakers did.

They figured out. Yeah. Yeah. Now I will give this to him. They make you feel like shit though. They make you feel like, I'll tell you where I don't feel like shit. I'll tell you where I'm fair. You know where I'm talented.

You know what sport or what physical activity I'm obnoxious. Do you feel good? I'm obnoxious. I'm obnoxiously good at. Where? As in where the person I'm learning from says, if you don't do something with this, this is a problem.

That's a paid person. It's not a paid person. Tennis. Nope. Nope. Dancing. Dance. Daddy's taking some salsa and some meringue.

I know, you can dance. You've always been able to dance. I know, but I got, I got the body for it. Kids got it. Kids got it. And a full circle here, right? You're a gay band, dude. I got I get the body for kids got it. Just get it and and a Full circle here, right? You're a gay man, dude, and you are fighting so hard and I appreciate it, dude But it's safe. We're in a safe spot now especially it's safe. Hey, it's why it's because I'm leading I think you're leading me into it No, it's pride month dude if there's a time to come out right now right now and get our number and you won't and you won't mock

Hey, take one for team get our numbers on you come out as gay. Yeah now. And you won't mock. Hey, take them over to team. Get our numbers. You come out as gay. Yeah. That episode's huge. Is that right? Yeah, dude. I'll do anything for numbers as you know. Come out.

And now's the time. Now, do I have to bang somebody on camera? Oh, no, no, no. You never have to go that deep. Okay. Now, if you want to make real money, we start not only fans, and I mangett, and I get the homies over, right? We film.

What do you say, homies? It sounds like you're talking about white guys. Wow. Okay. Black only. So, like there's only fans and then Brian's and my, my, my topper. Oh, daddy.

No. Oh, you're a sped for it. Is it, is it called, is it called split no gray? Is that the, is that the title of our? It's called Panthers coming. Panthers coming. Panthers Coming. Panthers Coming. I'm talking about that Panther tail.

So, throwin' up, Panthers. Break it. Throwin' up. Break and open, medium and gray. Oh, dude. Medium and wrinkled. If you guys like gilves. Hey, do you like, finally, kid?

You're gonna love, rink and the black. Rink and the black. Drink in the black. Well, we didn't say, drink in the blacks. So, just black, it's one guy. One guy only. But he's a big boy. Okay, so it's a real take-up.

It's a real take-up. It's not, it's not. It's not, drink in the blacks. No, no, it's just the black. You know, like the mountain from Game of Thrones, it's the umping of that. Oh, you're gonna find somebody in pasta. It's a, it's a, how's it gonna fit in his mouth?

That's what I want people to watch this art and go, how's it gonna fit in his ass? So, and then we all tune in. So I think I dated a girl who, her friend was a masseuse. This is the fucking strange, let me ask you what you do in this situation. I was dating her. Her friends are a suce.

She was a real blonde vixen. And she shows up, I'm sorry? She's still doing it. I don't know, this is all the long- So I know, okay, keep going. She shows up at my house to massage me. And she's got a pair of sweats that are down, kind of like down real low,

you can see the beginning of her ass. And she's got her thong popping out the top. Nothing better, right? That's what I go. She's getting taller, Papa, she's gonna massage me. Oh, no, no. And then she's got, correct. And you're a partner, whatever.

She's got a shirt, a tank top, like a guinea-tee. Yeah. A wife, Peter. Set a t-shirt, a tank top, like a guinea-t. Yeah. A wife, Peter. Set a hitters in the front. No bra, tied in the knot. Oh, dude. So I'm asking you. I'm asking you.

Read the room. So read the room. So obviously, you're obviously you're all about me. Keep going. The thing is that all she would talk about is how she has, her boyfriend's are only in the NBA and only as big and as black as it gets. Even otter keep going.

And she was telling me about how big she called him big daddy. He was a famous basketball player. Big daddy. And how his dick went. It was like it went over his hip. Like it would go all the way over his hip. Of course it does. And she said I had to deal with that.

Yeah. Sure. What are we going to do? And I'm thinking to myself, look, I do all right. Daddy does all right, but I'm not that guy. No. And I thought, I was like, why are you dressed like this? And are you trying to bang me?

But you keep telling me about this guy and you're massaging me. Was there oil involved? Yes. But I didn't do anything because I didn't wanna initiate contact because also my girl, we were casually dating, but I mean, if you're gonna send this girl over, what are you setting me up? Is this the biggest regret of your life?

Sorry, well, do I think about it every day? Yes, now here's the thing. And you're thinking about later today when I get yours? Yeah, and jack it hard, dude. Yes, what a time to be alive. I can't shoot or shoot dude. This way not an NBA shoot or shoot. You did nothing now You pipe down what? Moffy figure it out. Well, let me if you want to double date. Come on You and big daddy and me and Amber were the fuck it would be cool. God your cock people. No, be cool man I was again full circle dude. I but come on be cool man. How what straight man can have the lemuridim myself though?

Okay. There was another time where a woman would come over and massage me. And I was sincere. I was sore. Daddy runs at heart. And he's back as tight. He's back. He's back tight.

Balls full. And my back, my calves, what gets tied on you? Because my calves ache. My hamstrings get real tight. And nothing back, my calves, what gets tied on you? Cause my calves ache. My hamstrings get real tight. Yeah. And nothing's better than a nice foot and hand massage. Really? My wrist. I don't like that. Oh, nothing.

I like my traps. Oh, I'll tell them. Backstrap's rub down. Oh, I'll tell, I don't need a fuck about the back. I'll tell them feet, hands, wrists. Really? And then my head. How about the ass? I'm a dick.

What? How about the ass? Would you say, I'm a dick. How about, I thought you said, what? I'm a dick. How about the ass? I'm like? I'm gonna do it. How about, I thought you said, but how about the ass? I'm like, I'm gonna do it. You know, like having your hips and your- Isn't it weird how it's frowned upon to get your weenermessage, but your feet,

it's just skin. Correct. Just one sweats a little more. Correct. Well, one, let's say sweat, I'm talking. Yeah, that thick, nice, that. One sweats the other, one sweats the other, barf's.

Well, that one sweats a thick nectar, right? There you go. That bent out. But why is it why is it frowned upon your banana how's the skin on my nuts I sound like you know in court of law right now you can bust it for fucking human trash your wife of your shit on the back babe would you always just tell me how the skin on my dick is different in the skin on my toes yeah ask her I don't know well it'll go well in your house. Just run it by your... Okay, let me, before you, before you set the house on fire,

I don't want this to be different than, are the cells in my feet not the same skin cells I'm a nut? Well, my buddy, we have a friend who was in a political misrelationship. He felt it as, his lady was with a guy who was a friend of his and he did that. He goes in his mind.

He goes, well, how is he different in a back massage? Yo, I remember that. We had dinner as well. He's on a plane. He's like, okay, I'll take a walk. Well, if that's case I want a back massage. Right. Why is my tummy stomach all tight? Yeah, same as the back massage. There might be a difference between a foot rep and a fuck. It's a fuck down.

Oh real proper proper fuck down. This girl just, this girl just got up on my, she'd massage me probably five times and I was at her place. Was it good or she's so hot today? She was outstanding. And she was more of a granola, a crunchy hippie girl. Yeah.

And she got right up on my piece and just off the bat. Right off the bat, this was after five, six things, but I've never made a pass at her. Would she give the proper massage and then give it a piece? Never. I got a great story about it because that was never the case.

She's a professor. She started talking about how she would release guys because she doesn't consider it sex, it considers it part of the experience. And she was telling that. And of the and that's spirit that's the and she was telling you need in the business and that's what i was probably very accommodating of her philosophy yes why wouldn't she be like this yep and i think that's my trap and she was talking about that and how that would turn her on

i can still did not high and no no, no, I got rock hard. She said, turn over and I said, if I turn over, it's gonna be a little embarrassing. She goes, maybe to you, but not to me. Oh, Gama went, and he still did nothing. And he still did nothing. And she got up on the table and sat down on things. Oh, wow.

Yeah, and we had sex. Oh, wow. And then every time I would have a massage, she would do that. And, uh... What a glorious time. Well, the best time. Well, no, it's the best time, sir.

And, you know, Wednesday, two o'clock, the massage can work. Massage in a dick, sir. Well, because by the way, massage costs you, if you're generous with tip, hard-box, whatever. And I was getting, and I was getting all the other stuff.

And, that's all he's dice, because you're on a tip or like 200, and she's like, I'm not a prostitute. It's like, well, no, but you earned it. But a great gal. You earned it right? It's such a cool girl. And I never gave that vibe off.

So I never flirted with her. She was a professional in the suit. Sure. Took a job serious. Yes, she's a great dog. And just like a real earth mother. Sure. An earth mother. Yeah, earth mother loves cock.

Well, an earth mother who is all about helping. She's the cock gut. She's all about, she's that female, she's that powerful female energy that can absorb male energy like the ocean. Yep, and her kryptonite's cock. Yes, well you're all that, she's like, she's older.

Yes, but your cock is, your cock is, whatever you think, she can absorb all of you. With her mouth. She can know whatever it is. She can absorb your food, energy, your cock is, like, whatever you think, she can absorb all of you. With her mouth. She can know, whatever it is, she can absorb your food, energy, whatever it is. She is an ocean, she's an ocean. Yeah, man. She's a healing ocean.

Do you know if she's still continues alert? Well, my buddy says to me, I need a misduse. Pick him up. But I swear to you on my life. I'm very, very private. I would protect our privacy. I would never tell anybody this. Ever. No, you're not gonna take your buddy.

I got some for you and she's never, never, never, never do that. She's the best. $100. Because this was a personal thing with us that we were like, I knew she liked me, I think. As I thought about it, she liked me. And we used to have great talk.

This is how good she was. You think you're the only one. So now I'm like a stripper in the club. Dude, I'm telling you, she loves me, man. Right. Yeah. Yeah. How much was it, buddy? We started off. Oh, the cinnamon loves you.

We started off as friends. We started off. It was literally a true professional. She's a professional. Oh, hold. So my buddy goes, do you have a, do you have a masseuse? I say yes. And then he said what she like and then I said to him, I, because he's a good friend, I said she's great and have you, and he said something like, did you, did you use the

data? I go, I never dated her, but actually, and I told him was that I've hooked up with her while we massaged. Oh. I told him a loose variation of this story, but only because it was surprising to me and it was something about, oh, it was Zaynals. But he took it to believe,

He took it to believe that she was about that, that there was a happy ending. She swatted his dick away. About a year later, I find out that his friends are all her clients. And that that's been the case. Oh, she made a bank. She was making bank.

Damn, dude. I thought I was gonna go the other way. I was like, he tried and she's like, no. Right. But she was like, yeah. I would never tell him, I would never tell him somebody who's not. Now I'll be home, now I'll be home, he's getting some.

Are you fun if the home is getting have, no. But I was like, but I thought I was special. I know, professional. And that's a real skill set. It's a, that's an earth mother. And anybody who has a judgment on it is. Oh, get yours, girl. Get yours.

I told you that one time, this is years ago, I was living in the palisades there. And there was that app, I don't know if it's still going on. You can order people to come to the house and massage. They bring everything. So you don't have to go to massage energy. Order one, they don't show, it says female male, I always speak female males,

they'll get real tights and gray, right? So the female came to the house, this chocolate, this chocolate angel showed up. Even my girls, what the fuck, we're the fuck around. It's like I gotta be in the room. Oh, yeah, yeah. She's like, you can do it in the living room, like, yep. I was like, what are be in the room. Oh, oh yeah. Oh, yeah, she's like you can do it in the living room like yep

I was like what are we doing it never did that again. No just this Chocolate angel yeah with a full mouth a positive attitude some short shorts. I was like what are we doing here man? Yeah, that's I got kids well, that's trouble. Oh Can relax so that you don't want that hot. My buddy was a missus. A little more on the show. My buddy is a missus. And he used to deal with that all the time with the guys

and be like, can you go a little lower? And he'd be like, nope. Gage. It's all constant. Gage, guys. He was like in his 20s, trying to work his way through college. He was like, well, the top. The guy he doesn't want to say he wants to happen.

And he's like, I'm real sore like here. Like the back, like, as you're cocked. Like the boots are real tight. You cock, okay? Oh my cock's all tense up, man. My cock's just tense. That's a knot. Yeah.

Is that a knot? That a knot. Yeah, do my dicks all bound. Wow, wow, duh. Well hold on, you got a balloon knot. We got a loose knot, balloon knot up. Yep. And then you got this, this, we got a loose knot, balloon knot up. Yeah. And then you got this, this is real tight.

Yeah, super tight. How do we get rid of this? You know I'm looking for a release. Hey, we're 10 years old, huh? Pfft. I guess this is also that culture, dude. This is that culture. Well, there's an app where that has rub maps or rub maps.

Is that what it is? Rub maps. I educated Eric and Chris on this. They didn't think it was a thing. Yeah, there's a rub. They're rub. Of course it's the thing. Of course it's all over, man.

You have to pay that premium membership but it gives the details. They tell you ask for Angie, ask for Kelly. Really? Yeah. All right. I learned about that because I just opened on my first start stand-up in every city went to

He was like, oh, see you later, man. He's a easy week. You pay me ahead of time Like what are you doing and then I saw he's on the set He's like look there's one to mile and halfway and he get every city to go to and he paid for the premium membership real great Pay for the membership was like all look this Melissa whatever gives the best And he would go you know you you were four out of 10, like four. There are strip clubs. We're not, I'm not gonna say that I've been, but there are strip clubs where girls are,

I believe that nymphos, there are nymphos, men and female, who put themselves in position so they can fuck all day long. Oh yeah. Like there was a place in LA. It's called Hollywood. No, there's a place in LA where those those girls would literally in the back room do whatever. And they were doing that with everybody. And it's like, you know, you're doing that to strangers. Something's going on with you.

For them, it's like shaking hands. Yeah, some porn stars. I guess no for it's shaking hands. Right. That makes sense. They were doing it. I've seen you suck 12 cops in glory hole. Right. And it's like shaking hands. They're into that. Yeah. Yeah. It's not frowned upon. Open-minded.

If more of the world is open, mine would be so much further along, dude. Open-minded. Be able to mind it. Yeah. Go to glory hole. Mix it up. My buddy, my buddy is standing on the street corner

and a beautiful red Porsche pulls up and two insanely hot girls step out and my buddies are flirt and he goes, what's going on here and what are you guys doing causing all this problem? Is this recently? And they start talking and the girls go, the girl goes, you are so cool. And he goes, thank you, he's older. And he said, you know, you make me, you make us feel good about ourselves. And he said, well, that's my job. And he said, you know, it's funny. That's our job, too.

And if you ever want to work something out, let us know. And he goes, tell me more. And it turns out they were both professionals. And right on the street there, and he now has two gals that he calls whenever he needs. He's a single man. And that's how he spends his money. Kids are all grown. I don't know how much it is, but you know, he's got money.

Can't be cheap, because he only fans in social media fucked it, because they get money off there for just like, you know, rubbing their tits together with oil. They don't have to work as hard anymore, man. Well, I, you know, I was very naive, but I guess a lot of Instagram accounts are basically a call girl. I mean, they're basically like, hey, my private thing is this. So if you want to work something out.

Pretty awesome, right? Yeah. And I do know that a lot of those girls when the MBA is in town, their DMs kind of. Well, the All Star game is basically comes U-Port. Yeah. The All Star game, they all flock there. They do, right?

Yeah. Like ducks to the south. Yes. There's a whole thing. And why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you? Well, if you're if you're young hungry young dumbful come get down to the all-star get amazing. Yeah Slice them dragons ladies slice them dragons slice some NBA dragons. Here we go. Oh Get your work cut out. So you you're hydrating. Do you think that guys in the NBA professional athletes get laid a lot?

I don't know dude. I don't know, dude. I don't know. It's always been the debate. Always been the debate. My own wife, we were hanging out with these two gals in my buddy, and she just broken up with the guy in the who's the NBA, and I said, I'll tell you what, she was like 6'10, and I go,

that's Tutol, and my wife, my wife goes, too tall. Do you know anything about females? You think that's too tall? Yeah, they want to protect her. And I was like, oh, okay, this is not too tall for you either. I guess I'm sorry, I'm not 11 inches tall in a lot of different ways. I like literally look down.

I look down like I was like, I'm still not over. You do your thin legs. Yeah, I was like, I'm still not over. You did your thin legs. Yeah, I was like, yeah. Yeah, sometimes that I hurt you. Well, just being around our boy, Sean Miriamon. Sean Miriamon, I mean, you know. He's a monster.

I went to work out after that, you know? I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, he, yeah, I mean, you're talking about a freak freak. He was good, right? Surprise and good. He's great. Smart people forget.

Yep. Maybe it was a monster. Don't you think that that most greats, and I may be wrong, maybe not? Aren't most greats and football really smart? Cause they have to be or no. No, I wouldn't say that. All of them are smart.

I won't say any names, but how about how about socially intelligent though? No? Really? I mean, not dumbasses, but it's it's it's it's isn't a playbook require a lot of understanding and learning or no. I might record a back. That's why all of them are most of most of those are analysts like Tony Romo, Troy, man, all those guys Boomer, Sison, Phil Sims, Tom Brady has a deal. Like the quarterbacks are, they know the game. Sure, Drew Brees was not dumb. Drew Brees, no, Drew Brees, and let's do. He's on, they just know, they know the whole game.

They know everything. You have the smartest on the field. That's why they always make the best. I'm always amazed at Chris Collinsworth. Yeah, Chris Collinsworth is another one who knows some of the Chris Collinsworth is another one who knows he's a receiver but monster great play. But all the fame I think. Yeah, but but he, Chris Collinsworth knows,

he sees stuff that I would never see just like, well, you see that left guard was pulling on this side. That's all he played be, but then if he goes in as a standup or a coach or shit, there's the same thing. But his ability to see the whole field like that is, I don't, I just can't see it. Joe Clatz a beast, you know,

he's a quarterbackback so smart guys yeah he's a oh he's so he was a really good player really good huh 64 years old I didn't want to Florida yeah he's great wow you look at how tall is 36 touchdowns played seven years six five. Oh geez damn I know he's six five. That's a big boy. Oh, yeah, he's a freak Especially back then playing the 81 6 5 white boy, hollo, hollo, you feel me? hollo, hollo, had some good hands. Oh, yeah, Chris Collins worthers damn good all American Yeah, I don't know if he's a hall of favor, but he's fucking good Sean Aaron I doubt he won't be in the hall of fame didn't play long enough. I don't think he's on and off He was I don't know how the NFL deals with PD's because he tested hot

You get spin. Oh, so you think that as a, yeah. I would assume, I don't know, I don't have that in a field does it. 75 games. And he was a pro baller, but I don't know. He's actually a big linebacker even by today's standards. 268 pounds 60 that's a big that's a big linebacker and

Enough for that outside linebacker. They're big man. Really? Yeah Yeah, why cuz they have to be able to guard that to be the freaks So he was two-time first team all pro second team all pro three-time pro ball sack leader Oh my god, he was rookie defense rookie the air man. You'd think that I mean it's God Beast you think that would be close to NFL right pro Hall of Fame Defense play the year two time all pro What is all pro mean like so at that position? You're the best guy in the world There's only one all pro quarterback, one all pro.

Oh shit. One all pro linebacker, outside linebacker, one all pro quarterback, you're the best at that position. What is first team? First team. So it's first team, second team. So it's a first team. That's the best of the best.

So Tom Brady's first team. Okay. It's the best quarterback, Patrick Mahome, first team all pro. So second team is the second team. It's like Joe Burrow. No, it's not special teams for fuck's sake. What do you mean? Second, so there's, first team all pro. Second team is like Joe Burrow. No, it's not special teams for fuck's sake. So there's the first team, which is, you know,

the 11, they'd be the stars of all the pro. The second team would be the second team. If you're first or second, you're fucking monster. Yeah. And all the NFL, you're the best guy in that position that year. That's the first time in that position that year. That's the first time I learned what it means. Yeah, you always say first team all of this and that. So then I never knew what it was.

So what about Pro Ball? So yeah, so there's all pro, which is, there's no team, no, they're not playing, just all pro. Like to be all NBA, oh my, you look at the guys that don't make that, it's nuts. Yeah. It's nuts. So all pro and then FL,

it's just, they don't play like in the pro ball. It's just, those are, it's like first team all American. They don't, there's no game all American game in college. So those are the, if you're first team all pro and then FL, it has quarterback, you're the best quarterback in the fucking world, right? Pro ball, there's a number of guys can be pro ball,

a number of guys. So all pro is much, much higher regarded than just pro ball. Pro ball, there's could be fuck. There's a AFC, aFC NFC, and they might have three pro ball quarterback. So six, six guys. You guys are applying to play in the pro ball. Oh yeah, but they change it.

They don't play games anymore. They, because guys don't really give a fuck. So now they do like these weird like, play like tag and shit. Like these weird like golfing, it's a disaster. It's not even Hawaii anymore, because guys were sick going Hawaii. This one be done with it.

But if you make all pro in your contract, the incentives are nuts. Like when John Marant, this is probably when John Morant this prime with John Morant When he got busted with the guns and all that stuff people like go how you know He signed whoever he has the max deal so he's fine money wise. No, he lost You know probably you know hundred million dollars because because he should be an all pro basketball player because he didn't because he did all that stuff They're not gonna They're not gonna vote for him for all pro. So it took us all pro status away. So the incentives in your contract,

the incentive in your contract, all pro, you're talking about, they probably give you a couple million bucks just to be all pro, just from your team. Not to mention all the other accolades you get at the sponsorship. So it gets you to a different tier when you're all pro. But you look at the all pro list and the guys that don't make it, you're like, what? It's nuts. It's the best of the best. I remember in the very tip of the spare of NBA. I remember in 19, you know, or 2000, whatever, there's an executive who was responsible for financing movies and knew everything about the insides of Hollywood. And he went through the difference between what a movie star is and what an actor is.

And meaning, like he went through who actually gets a movie finance. Like back in the day? Yes. Well, any day, but this is back in the day, he goes, you know, who gets a movie financed versus who is starring in movies. So they consider a movie star to be something like Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt.

And back then, we were like, well, Morgan Freeman and, you know, they were like, nobody's gonna see a movie for him. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's not a movie star. Actor who stars in movies. What? Like, you know, there was this different- Different, big different-

Broke my heart though. It was like, you know, Robert DeVal. They're like, nobody's gonna see a movie with Robert DeVal. Well, I guess they are, I know. But the money says no They're like, nobody's gonna see him who's Robert DeVal. Well, yes, they are. I know. But the money says no. And they were telling me what they were worth versus what are they people worth.

And I was just like, it was like, that's the business. And it nuts? Nuts. Even that Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary. Have you seen it? It's so good to find part of series. I'm in the middle of it. I would say don't finish it, because that's this.

It ends sad. I don't know. It ends sad because. Well, it well and this is an issue and with a lesson. Yeah, agree We talked about this like it's the and there's no spoiler alert everyone knows Arnold's story But when you hear him talk about it. It's one of the best documentaries I've ever seen you realize he's I mean once in a Lifetime talent like the grown up in Austria. You know his dad was a Nazi. His dad was Nazi. Straight up Nazi general. His dad was a Nazi. Very brutal to him. Alcoholic. They lost the war. He took the anger out on the kids. His brother. He was like, his brother was different. I would change, I wouldn't change anything because I was built for that. He put a chip on my shoulder to get the fucking of Austria and become what I became. But my brother, he was more gift than me. Built,

put on muscle better, bigger, faster, stronger. He beat me in every competition where he kids, but he was very sensitive. So he took all of that to heart. I did it. It made me stronger. He, his brother ended up dying. Yeah, in a car crash, but like he's both very sensitive.

Got into the alcohol and drugs and stuff. I think, yeah, DUI or something like that. But he was saying that that's the difference. Sure. He was, I wouldn't change, DUI or something like that. But you're saying that that's the difference. Sure. He was out of change anything, because it made me who I am, made me dream the biggest like a dream. And so it goes through all the crazy, like him in Austria and getting into bodybuilding,

because he saw that movie, Hercules, it want to be just like that guy. So he started going to a gym. Yeah, I saw it. So he got in with the guys, right? And then from there, then he comes to America when Mr. Olympia meets Joe Weeter, then gets to Hollywood. But it's interesting, because some of his movies bombed, he was saying, there was a time in the night,

he's a high-spade actor, $40 million movie. High-spade actor of all time. And he was walking in, he was acting a lot in the universal Warner Brothers. You name it. I could walk in and he stood of brothers you name it I could walk in he stood up for me 40 million dollars to a movie then he had bomb three times in a row He didn't hear a peep. That's right. And then James Cameron was like movie jail. Yeah, and he goes then James Cameron called And was like yo, I got idea for true lies. I have a move called true lies. That was before Terminator. Yeah Oh, no true lies is way after terminate. No saying but Terminator was James Cameron. That was correct? Yeah, oh, no, true lies is way after Terminator. No, I'm saying, but Terminator was James Cameron.

That was correct. Yeah, so that's why, no, yeah, and that's why he was the highest paid. So, he's two lies, Terminator, Terminator one, Terminator two, total recall. That's all early, late 80s, early 90s. Right. Then he hits, last action hero, bombs.

And he said he was so sad. The director called him, James Cameron said he called him, it's how you doing. He didn't direct black at last action. Hairway calls him, he goes, I just want to be alone. He usually took it to heart. He didn't realize the movie bits didn't work like that. He took it to heart.

They bombed the three more, and he goes, I used to be able to walk in any movie studio in the world. They'd offer me a major 40 million dollar money. He says, no. He goes and start dried up. James Cameron goes, I have this idea for him, we call it true lies. Gives him the idea. I remember that movie I shot in the theater.

Love it, me too. Jamie Lee Curtis, so hot in that. And they wrote the part for Jamie Lee Curtis. And so Arnold goes, all right, let's do it. We've got to make it big. He's like, yep, big explosions. That movie's a fucking masterpiece. Blows them up and then he's back.

Yeah. Then he's back. Don't tell me anymore because I want to get... Well, you know, the story, again, there's no spoilers here, but then... Yeah, I want to see that. I know, but then he goes to be governor. Now, remember, his wife is a Kennedy,

and she's completely against him running it for inter-politics. But what's weird is they have video of him, when he's like, kid, he's like 16, 17, talking about he wants to get into politics. Like, you, what are you doing? He's like, I know, it's weird. People say I'm this meathead, but I love politics. I want to make a difference.

So when he wants to run, his wife is totally opposed to it because she's Kenne, she knows what entails. Yeah, she's like, hell no. So then the day he's gonna announce, he's going on Jay Leno, and Jay Leno assume he is, you know, I don't want to know what they're gonna talk about. I want to be surprised at the natural reaction But we all you kill me right now because I want to see this stuff

I'm saying he but I'm saying Jay Leno is just assume that you give me all the turning points that I want to Well, he becomes governor Brian. I know but I want to see these. Can you not give me every the detail? Yeah, I'm watching that Yeah, I know this stuff. I know, but I won't see it Yeah, the bottom line because we had had to apologize and talk about stuff. So bottom line is he becomes governor, spoiler. Our source of income, governor. I hope, can you come through that?

No, I know. I'm not gonna give any of that stuff out. I know a story. I know, relax. We had to podcast, dude, but. You're going through. I'm not. I'm dropping that detail, Brian.

I'm not, but he becomes governor, which we all fucking know if you don't run yourself in the wall. So he becomes governor, right? And when he's governor, he didn't realize what it entails and the effect it had on his family. And then obviously, he talks about the marital affair they had with the nanny. But you realize that one mistake.

And you're talking about the guy that's done it all. The biggest, baddest governor, biggest movie star in the world. Mr. Olympia has the world by the balls and makes this enormous mistake. And has a baby with a nanny, dude. We get away with anything. Bro, I mean, you know, we've talked about this in this spoiler, but he's just now, he's by himself. He's in this huge mansion.

By himself. And we're like, that's how he's moving in a way. You don't get away with that. It's what you'll be by yourself. I remember when his book did really poorly because it came out at the same time. And it was like, you know, that book came out and just called on it.

And people are like, no, no, thanks. Because there is a limit. It's like, you get, see, the problem with, when your life works out to that degree, and everything you do, you crush, you start to think that the laws the universe don't apply to you. You start to think you can get away with it.

You're different. You start to think, well, you just start to think you're one of God's chosen people. You just do. I mean, and then you get your nanny pregnant. You're like, I gotta wait with this too. I'll figure it out. You gotta wait with it for a long time. Until that kid got over.

But till that kid got over. Became the governor. So, you know, whatever, you know, I always go back to what Jordan Peterson said, which I've always believed. You, he said in my 35 years of practicing psychology, I've never seen anyone ever get away with anything even once.

If you follow it all the way, what happens is, it's like, oh, you're having this crisis, we can trace it all the way back to that. And that's an interesting idea. Yeah, I think for Arnold too, it's weird to have the public like they get so mad when like their heroes, like whatever cheats on their wife or something like that, and they want to not support them anymore, it's weird.

Well, there's a lot that goes into that. Have you seen the Tour de France documentary? The new one? Yeah. No. I've never been in a bike racing. I mean, I like bike. But I have to say, watching it is such a strange strange The Europeans go crazy over it cute map huge. It's a three-week race and

Like I've ever looked at what what it entails. Dude. I didn't really look at it until now So during the Tour de France didn't wrap dude during the Tour de France Lance Armstrong does a podcast and breaks it all down It's riveting. It's great. And you talk about biking. Biking. And when Lance, so I'm trying to talk to you about the details, to talk about what the guy has to go through, how far he has to go, what he needs to do to become, you know, the top guy.

How you eat, because you gotta keep your weight off, you gotta be skinny. You're talking about six hours of climbing hills every day for three weeks, and they, what I'd memorize is not like heels here, Bob Huh, not hills not like the No, we're talking about the ought Alps and high Alps dude is It's not Yes, and how about this I didn't realize this though. I didn't know that they were falling at 45 miles an hour all the time

Oh, yeah fall seem crash nuts crashing into each other The losing skin and then getting back on their bike and having to finish get that at night the whole thing is recovery Oh, so it's all about what and that's why APDs are so prevalent who Gives a flying fuck on a bike. You know what they do they sleep on the ground They try to sleep on the ground because the electrons in the ground actually Charge your body back up. Interesting. You know what they do? They sleep in RVs and get EPO brine.

Well, that's true. You know what they do? That's true. They shoot testosterone in their dick. They do all that too, but they will sleep on the ground because they found that recovery when your body's on the ground. That's fun for the documentary. You know what they do? No, no, they take blood. That's not strong. We're talking about it. Sure. Yeah, of your body's on the ground. That's fun for the documentary. You know what they do? They take blood. The mask's strong, we're talking.

Sure, yeah, of course it was. You know what he does? What do you do when he won all the races and everyone continues to do this? Yeah. It's called blood-doping. What they do is they take extra red blood and white blood blood and dripping into their bodies

overnight. And their blood come, look up. You know what they do? They're blood gets so thick, they can't sleep by the night. They have to wake up and continue to move. Otherwise the blood will slow down. I'm gonna heart attack.

Yeah, because the blood so thick like a milkshake. That's what they do, don't give me this shit. No, no, listen. Okay, sleep then. Oh, no. Maybe it's maybe my back. That one says, the whole thing, writer's sleeping hotel's near the race.

Get grounded, hold grounded. Hold on. Hold on. Let's just do the first one. Let's see what they say. This will be it. The stage is constant. Sleeping hotels. I'm on a great number of people.

It's fun for the doctor, right? And you really got that false one. No, it wasn't in the doctor. It was just like, I heard Lance talk about it. Why is the doctor's behind? Lance probably slept on the ground once, right? Huh? He's probably slept on the ground once.

Uh. Motor homes, yep, RVs, hotels. He's not sleeping on the ground. Downside of sleeping on twin beds, oh, can't, it's okay. I literally typed in ground as in the search for the start of a movie, nothing. No thing, yeah.

Which one of your bullshit friends told you that? I don't know, maybe I am. Lance Armstrong never said that. What's that? Lance Armstrong, you know? I don't know, maybe I am. That's I'm trying to ever said that. What's that? That's I'm trying to, you know what's more interesting is read Lance Armstrong's book. Yeah, I have. That's the real shit.

The blood-doping is not to. So I didn't read, I only read one book. Why did he write another book? I think he might have. It's all about the bike I read. It might not be, you read an entire book on just his bike. Yeah, no. No, about his life about it. Yeah, read an entire book on Justice Bike. Yeah, no, no. No, about his life about that.

Yeah, yeah. Cancer and all that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the lands on, lands on something documentary is great. It's not about the bike, that's why. Secret race. Now those are bullshit like feel good stories.

I like the dirty shit. Not wake up in the middle of the night because their blood so safe from blood dirt. It's a weird sport, man. It's the, so safe from blood garbage. You're a sport, man. It's the, oh, I love biting. You're a team and you have what they call your domestiques in French, which means your servants. The other ones that get you food, water,

the other ones that keep you drafted. W your job, right? So you, what? W your job, right? Now, did I'm sprinter. No, hey, give me my water, right? No, no, I'm sorry. Hey, if? No, no, no, I'm sorry. Hey, if that's, if this is Tour de France

and we're the, we got yellow jerseys on and says, you know what you're doing? You're getting my fucking water in my EP. Do you know what you're doing? Do you know what you're doing? Do you know what you're doing? Never getting on a bike, you're just too big, you don't have the body type stuff.

For that? No, too big. You know, they're like 135, 145 pounds. We gotta be light, too. Yeah, I mean, you know, some things are, Hey, guy, what's going on? It's Brendan.

No, something, you know what I am? I'm the guy driving the fucking police a car in front of him. Unfortunately, you are. Yeah. You might be the guy who gets the bikes off real quick and picks them up when they're, you pick them up when they're injured.

Yeah, I bring their power bars or whatever. Yeah, no. There's just some things, some things aren't for me. I'm not made to fit in McLaren, I'm not made to fucking ride a bike. They're professional. Their bodies though are just,

they're not great looking bodies. They're like, they're juicies. Oh, dude. Not as thick as I thought. Oh, this sprinter has some big thighs. No, no, no, Lance Armstrong's fucking thighs, dude. There's a picture when he's on Tour de France, when he's going up the mountain.

Some of them are. Bro, was he a sprinter? Was he the guy who would like take the, he did it all. That's a picture when he's on Tordor France, when he's going up the mountain. Some of them are. Bro, was he a sprinter? Was he the guy who would like take that? He did it all, that's why he was different. He did it all. Their legs are stupid bro. Look at that. Is that a maple leaf?

Oh my God. What's up daddy? Brian said they're too thin. What's up daddy? Brian said they're too thin. That's that down there. But because their legs fill up with, they get so much blood flow.

No, their calves are stupid. Oh, that's right. They're cross-prone. Yeah, they just get all bunched up. No, bike or legs are the best. That's why when summer's pop, my thighs get crunchy, daddy. Look at those cabbie calves. Their legs are nuts, be.

Yeah, nuts. Yeah, there's some things I just, you know, it's just not in the cards for me, right? Being on the US cycling team, not having that. Well, let's get rid of that. Dracos van there, dude. That looks cool. Oh my God. Can we assume that there? I would imagine that's probably from some EPO

or whatever they would do. No, dude, then I don't just credit them. So EPO is not gonna give you muscle. EPO literally only puts oxygen in the body. Yeah, they were taking, it was nice. It's nice, sometimes, they were taking some kind of a crazy cocktail. Yeah, but remember, they can't put on too much muscle

because they have a bit of light. Yes. They eat, so you know what's the same, like I can never be a F1 driver, way too big. So like my boy, Danny Riccardo and like, Lewis Hamilton, they're tiny too. Are they? Yeah, cause you gotta imagine like, the car,

they have to stay at, I think it's like 134 something like that. What? Cause if they, it's just like fighting, if they get too heavy, they're gonna be slower. So those hammers, that's really small. They're all tiny because the car, the car can only be so light, they have regulations. Oh man.

So for the driver to add two pounds, to take two pounds off that car is a nightmare. So the driver's fucking themselves. They get a diet and shit man. That's how, that's how horseback horse racing is too Yeah, the jockeys they're tiny That's that's a car I'd put how much to the drivers way

Yeah, because that makes all the difference huh? There you go and there they're literally 80 kilograms And they're literally 80 kilograms minimum weight and formula and driver. Well, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's pretty intense. 190 almost, but, one seven. But I don't think so.

I think you're right. No, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, Dave Ricardo told me they gotta be tiny. Let me see what 80 kilograms, 160, 170, one seven eight, one seven eight. I'll look for a maximum weight for F1 driver. The time, I don't want to type maximum weight. Do, oh, there you go.

Look how much you F1 drivers weight. Well, oh, at least, so it includes their seat though. It's 80 kilograms including their seat B. So the heaviest you can be is 176 pounds. That's the heaviest you can be. There's no one 176. Yeah. Because it's such a disadvantage.

Yeah. But that's that 80 kilograms is including the seat in the car. Oh, Jesus. Yes. Oh, Jesus. Yes. Yeah, there you go. Oh, that's a minimum though.

But that's the minimum. The minimum weight of a driver. And their seat. And their seat. Damn. So the lightest driver is 119, whereas Williams driver, Albon, is 163. Oh my God.

So they're usually around like that, you know, between one. So the lighter, that's lighter than me. I'm 173. Yeah, we're too big. Wow. Wow. I think the tall is like six foot, six one. Yeah.

And yet weird. Yep. Makes sense though. Makes sense. It's just like, and by the way the way formula one driving is crazy, right? It's crazy. I think there's only 22 in the world at that level now There's backups stuff like that, but 22 but it's so expensive to have that team. Oh, it's the richest sport in the world by far Not even close to get started. That's a whole team too. I watched that. It's all European. Yeah, the it's a

Who's Hamilton's the best right? Yeah, I mean now now this max kid I think he's name's max has been winning But yeah max first-appen. Yeah, but so I guess all the articles say that you have to have a minimum So just you know, you can be as heavy as you want but the minimum super does you have to be a certain weight to be fair to the competition Which is but so that means that one dude, they said, wait, one 16, 116 pounds. So that means a seat would have to be heavier because you have to get to one eight to eight. So they're gonna be like, we gotta add some weight to the seats.

Oh, I see, so total. Total, so total. You got it, you gotta be, okay, so you got the minimum, so you can't just do, you can be like, get someone who's a hundred pounds. Yeah, exactly, have such an an it Yeah, like 90 pounds Wait, so every car has the way the exact same About the engine engineering. Yeah, and then the the skill of the driver

So you don't you don't want anybody going over 80 kilograms You want everybody to be right there. Yeah, now you got to be and the car has to be a certain way too Car can't be heavier lighter like you have to be the same It's all about the engine. Yeah, that whole tour de France is crazy. Eight people on a team and it's ruthless. It's like, guess what, dude, you're 35. Thanks for the memories. We'll see you later. Boy, what Lance Armstrong did for a cyclone, the way they treat him. It's insane to me. Well, I think he, hey, he made another cyclist. I'll wait. The people that follow him. Everybody in the room. We're gonna follow him. Well, in Europe, you could, but the people that the people that i think anybody in the room there are other cyclists follow him well in europe you could but the people that

follow the he where america prong right i don't know about it's a row of american it's a european i'm but but lancar i'm strong the point is lancar on it is america but i'm saying that overall lancar strong no one's more famous to the people hated him because of how he through threatened people's wives. For sure. I'm not saying all that.

I'm not saying all that. I'm saying the notoriety that he brought to them and the money his foundation made for them. Insane them. As always, people are complicated and there's good and bad in people, and I've always said that too. But the people I know that are pretty charitable who follow by gracing, I people I know that are pretty charitable who follow bike racing,

I don't know enough about it. Like I remember when the head of the Spanish team said publicly, he said, I respect them as a cyclist, I do not respect them as a person at all. And if you read, it's not about the bike, he was a dick. And if you read other things, people were like, and I actually know a woman who helped me with my, by a house once, she was on the national team and her husband was too And she was like base right with Lance and she had nothing good to say about him So he earned a lot of his reputation. I'm just saying what he did in the notoriety

It's insane to me. Sure and just like just wipe them out of the record books It's insane to me and you gotta go down to 15th place to find a guy who didn't cheat. I get he was an asshole outside. Everybody was, everybody was, everybody was, everybody was, everybody was, everybody was, everybody was, everybody else was all good. He was the best at it. Here's the thing. He was also the best. Yeah. Not only at doping, but also riding the fucking bike. Correct. And people think, no, it's just because he did all the drugs. Why are you so good? No, no, no. Everyone did it. And he was still the outline. Yes. By far. Yes. the best cyclist. It's insane to me.

There's no doubt. He was crazy. Hope Hosea Picchano, if he does it every year, but pretty frequently when the Tour de France starts, it's him laying his couch like this and all his yellow jerseys. Are you serious? Yeah.

Can I see that? That's really interesting. Aubrey's really close to them. Really? Yeah, Aubrey is really close to them. Really? Yeah, Aubrey is really close to them. I mean, I would never, like, he's paid his price. I'm not going to be a... Oh wow. Maybe I made the flipping off. Yeah, I think you made that up.

But... Hope I was sat pretty frequently though during Tour de France. There's multiple ones, there's different ones. What about Sniper's that one's sad I was like your college kid Let me see yeah, that's them hating though Just go the original one. That's the first one. Yeah, that's that's the that's the famous one five

Wow, you were saying when all that stuff came out, he went to a bar in Austin. Yeah, I saw that. I didn't know. And they bought him a beer. Fuck you. Fuck you. And then he bought them all their entire men. When he left his kids, his kids get bullied and shit.

It's unnecessary. It's like, oh, fuck yourself, guys. Tell us the sports. What do you do to you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you do to you? I know. Also, I go, cool.

You hate me? Name another bike rider. Oh, you're not in it You don't follow it. You just follow the gossip news. Yeah, that's you don't know me. Yeah, you just know the guy and that's I usually give people the benefit of that all those people like land was Lance was the worst using an asshole What place you're finished you you and I are both 15s. Okay, that makes sense. Are you the guy who's crushing it? I get it No, I mean you and I are kind of in the same boat there. I think crushing it, I get it. No, I mean, you and I are kind of in the same boat there. I think overall, I always respect somebody who's got greatness,

like Barry Bonds, like that guy. Did they cheat or whatever? And I've believed that everybody was cheating and yes, they did. Did they handle it poorly? Yes. Did he exhibit poor character in many cases? Yes.

Blah, blah, blah. A hundred percent. Do you want to punish him the rest of his life? Is that what you want to do? Yeah, what makes you happy? You want to go dead broke on the street? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I can answer a lot of people want that.

I'd never liked, I remember there is Matt Liner. quarterback for USC, high-entrophy winner. And bad pro. I don't know much about him, but I remember. Bad pro, great cause for a ball. Matt Liner. Great announcer now. Yeah, Matt Liner and I'm a guy who follows sports said,

I saw him at the airport, he was going to get on the same plane. And I said, I think that's Matt Lambrayton. I don't know, but I don't know. And he said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the car and I'll see, he's done. He's done. After this year, he's done. Yeah, he got exposed, something like that.

He did this with his hand. And it really bothered me. It fucking bothered me. I was like, hey, don got exposed, something like that. He did this with his hand. And it really bothered me. It fucking bothered me. I was like, hey, don't take a dude like that, who's that great, who did everything in college. Okay, it didn't work out so much in pros, but he's a pro. You know, where it is, the mate?

He's a pro quarter. Dude, he was a started in the NFL. Thank you. So a little respect, you who never did anything, don't go, ah, like shut the fuck up. You don't know what that was about. You don't know where it takes to be that guy. That guy's outstanding.

That motherfucker right there is an outstanding human being. No matter what, you try being that outstanding as a human being. But that's why the sheep taught. And he'll take your girl. Also he's six foot six foot six foot. Also shut the fuck up. But the sheep taught, because you know,

they're not going to say it to the wolf. They didn't just he bow, they did it to the liner. But I can say it to the wolf's face. They're going to talk behind, because they would never take to say it to the the the the the the t-boat they did it to the liner to the wall's face they're going to talk behind because they would never take those risks so all they do is judge they don't know what it took they can walk in the shoes of mat line you know good mat line just in high school you graduated up here you know fucking good that guy was talking about a real savage oh my god started you said he was

starter in the NFL yes you go ahead and try that cc got get a starting quarterback. Please, please, how'd you do? Start in high school. But you know, that's a success story. Either way. Correct. So you didn't play a single down draft in the first round.

And for every reason, just didn't work out from. You know, it's a crazy success story. Oh, you sure you don't go like this? Ah, he's done. Ah, you don't take a human being like that. Who's you don't go like this? Ah, he's done. Ah, you don't take a human being like that, who's that outstanding and go like that? I can't stand it. I can't fuck this.

I follow Ryan Leef on Twitter. I don't know. I don't know where he is. Oh man, so Ryan Leef, this is one of my, not my biggest regrets, but this shows you how he's bad at making picks even as a child. Ryan Leef came out and that draft class, it was either him or Peyton Manning and I was bad at making picks even as a child. Ryan Leaf came out and

that draft class is either him or Peyton Manning. And I was a big Ryan Leaf fan because all his games were on TV because in the back to what back then at the time, played for watching state. So all the conversation was, who should be number one? Ryan Leaf or Peyton Manning? And Ryan Leaf is big in Peyton Manning. Ryan Leaf is a monster. He was so good in college here. Ryan Leaf was very arrogant, very cocky. So when the cults were going to take the first round pick, they flew Ryan Leif and they flew paint manning. Paint manning came in and was like studying film, was asking questions, like breaking down tape, like juice crush gets a maniac. Ryan Leif was like, I think he was talking about how he didn't want to be in the Indy and how the weather sucked that was like real negative.

So they went with paid manning. Probably the right choice, best quarterback of all time, regarded. Ryan Leif was a disaster. Like, it had a really bad addiction to pills and alcohol, fizzled out of the NFL. I would have taken him, you know, I was also eight, so fuck off. But even then that bad picture but Ryan Lee right so that does that that regardless one the biggest bus in the NFL He's he went to prison to went to prison stories and saying you gotta watch the 30 for 30 on it'll break your heart

So he goes to look at that prison Bubba. So now he goes through all that So now he takes this horrible thing that happened to him and he gives back. He helps football players in the NFL. Like these are the traps you have to be careful of. Don't do the same mistakes. I do he goes speaks negative to a positive. He goes yes, he's a motivational speaker now as well.

He goes to prisons and tries to motivate them. So that would be a success story. 100% he's a successee as far as NFL has. He had to pick up. As far as NFL goes, number one, pick bus, yeah for sure. Still a six. He has a human being, he had a correction, but he's a much better person now.

But you'll see on Twitter and I'll go at some of these people, the people are still so mean to him. And he was literally like some guy saw he goes, blah, blah. I was the number two pick and the 1996 draft. You fucking idiot. He was like, I was also, I was also finished second in Heisman voting. I also set every passing record in Pack 10 history. He goes, in what facet do you think I was a failure? I've had, I've been, I've watched, I've been in rooms where people were criticizing how Anthony Joshua boxes

because he got fucked up by... And he reads? And he reads. Like it's like, dude, can you, oh, I want to entertain it. I want to entertain it. Well, if you made it to the UFC, it's a huge accomplishment.

It's a huge accomplishment. All the things that, you know, hardest again, the UFC, but? Come on. The new hardest. Oh, why? Because of all the different leagues and how many people are trying to come on.

But then, just to, you take a step further. So it has taken me a long time for even for me to get this level. So I always felt like a failure at C, when I was in college, because I wasn't Tim T. Bung College. I felt like a failure when I got to the NFL, because I wasn't Tony Romo and then I fell. I felt like a failure when I got to UFC, because I wasn't Kane Velasquez. Yeah. Sure. And that's my, that's then I fell. I felt like a failure when I got to UFC because I was in Cane Velasquez. It's true, and that's my,

that's how I am. That's the constant. That was my perspective, but you gotta realize when you step back, it's like, hold on. If I was eight years old and you go, hey dude, you know you're gonna play to visit one of the cause football,

not just like go and be on the team, you're gonna play like holy shit, that's insane. Yeah. Cool. Then after that, you know you're getting you get a shot with the Buffalo Bills, like, oh my god, this is not so serious Yeah, cool. Then after that, you know you're getting to get a shot with the Buffalo Bills, or like, oh my God, this is nuts, are you serious?

Yeah, dude. And then after that, you know, not only gonna fight in the U.S., you're gonna be ranked in the top 10, the world. I go, get a fuck out of here. This is gonna be the best life ever. You don't have that perspective when you're young. It's taking so much work for me to step back and go.

And it's because of my kids, step back and go, oh damn, that's pretty cool, man. Yeah, this is pretty cool, man. This is a cool story. I still don't do that. And I was very rare, do I? It was the best black belt anybody ever seen. I'm kidding.

But, but, but, You know what I'm saying, it's all perspective. I'm not a sad, because even, even to get in the top 10, you know the chances of you getting to the UFC, winning fights, you know like this, you like, you break down anymore. You know the chance of you fighting on a main card? You know the chance of you fighting on a main card?

You know the chance of you headlining a UFC paper view? You know the chance of you being the main event of a UFC? It is not good. If you go off odds, it's gonna hurt your feet. My wife put it in perspective for me. I was complaining about, you know, not having a big black day. Just I was just complaining about,

I wasn't complaining, but I was a little bit bummed out about not selling feeders or, you know, some of my friends were selling lots of tickets and I was like, you know, but I had sold out that night. You can go down that route. I mean, she goes on to be too weak. She said to me, she goes, Brian, somebody took a picture with you tonight and when they walked away, they went like that, they pumped their fist. There's a guy, yeah.

Yeah, but it's like, be a little, she goes, that's tough. Be thankful for that and that's a big deal. And I never do that and I never do that. That's a bad, that's a bad, that's a bad, that's almost impossible to do. I have a huge problem with it. That's almost impossible to do.

It's like if you're a Navy SEAL and you're in the middle of war and like, do we're some bad asses? And they're like, what? No, this is what we do, dude. The bullets flying, who gives a fuck, that's what we're used to this. So it is an extreme example with the Navy SEALs, but it's just a whole thing. I need to be more grateful. And I need to be more thankful for where I'm, I mean, and I try to practice. You should be a theater, so you're talking in comedy.

You're a monster. You're the one that taught me, stand up. So you like you talk in common. You're your your monster You're the one that taught me stand up and I'm super grateful for that that out of everyone You know, no one gives you the great you deserve. We've been over this. Yeah, the reason I've I can afford private school for my kids for doing standup You know, that's all that's all bright account. You're the one that pushed me You should be a theater act, you know, and I have anger towards people for it that you're not. I'll be I'll figure it out I'll figure it out. I'm not there yet. You should be there and it bothers me. You're not I'm pretty sure Thank you for that. Yeah, but it's all perspective. It's perspective and it's about practicing.

You'll get it when you talk to your kid, when you, you know, obviously you have an older son now, but even with the baby, like, when you do more cool things, like you like to, it could, yeah, I know Brian was on mad TV,

which is insane. That's insane, dude. I know Brian was on sex in the city. I know Brian was in the hangover. I know Brian was in old school. I know, I, day one when I met Brian, on sex in the city. I know Brian was in the hangover. I know Brian was in an old school. I know, day one when I met Brian, the hangover. I know all this. We each other, best friends, it's whatever.

But then when you hear someone else talk about, like, oh yeah, he was in, like, holy shit, that was a big deal. You know, it's like, oh yeah, I know, man. No shit, it's a big fucking deal. You get it from your kid. Like when my son, when their friends talk about their dads, and my son, you know, list off stuff,

and they'll come back and like, dad, you did this. I'm like, yeah, mom told me to do this. I'm like, yeah, he's like, oh my god, tell him about it. I can't stoop it. And they're like, oh, no, it's not stupid. It's not stupid. It blows his fucking mind. Yeah. And you're like, oh my, yeah, I guess that is cool. When you start talking, I'm like, oh god, it's not stupid. It's not stupid. It blows his fucking mind, dude. Yeah.

And you're like, oh my, yeah, I guess that is cool. When you start talking, I'm like, oh God, I'm like, oh God, I can't let it cool. Yeah, man. Yeah, fuck yeah. And that goes back to the fact that I'm in better shape than every dad at that fucking graduation. At that school, right?

At that school. And that's for the gifted, right? Mentally, right? Right. So that means even the dads have a touch of, like, oh, right? Even the dads little downs, right? Especially need school. that's fine.

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Well, it's like my son, he's really into baseball. He has a coach he works with, and he has trials. It was just hilarious for some years, but it's so competitive they have trials in, end of July and We went to the I've been taking them to the the batting cages and we're throwing all the time five times a week and then yesterday He hasn't been able to do the fast pitch the the jugs machine He just it's fucking fast dude for 7 year old. It's so fast

And yes, he's doing he's hitting it. I'm like, oh, shit, he's getting better, thank God. Because that baseball's not my thing, but I know the mechanics part of it. And just the workout, I think, if you wanna be an outlet, I'll get you there. Yeah. So we're driving, he's like, Dad, I'm tired, I'm good, that's what we need to.

And then, the reason, one of the reasons I'm not torn so much in the summer, is I told my son I'm gonna dedicate myself to him for baseball. He plays basketball, and he's good. Jiu-Jitsu wrestling, he's an outlier, football, he's good. Soccer, he's good and he's the big baseball friend. He's gonna be the baseball, he gravitates towards.

And so I told him, I said, but you're like me as a kid, I played everything, but you're kind of one foot in, you have fun, your friends are doing it. I said, you're gravitating towards baseball. And I said, if you want this dude, you got a dad who knows, I can, you're gravitating towards baseball. And I said, if you want this dude, you got a dad who knows, I can get you pretty far. And then the rest is gonna be on you.

But all you have to do is commit. And I go, all your buddies, this is what's gonna happen. That's what happened with me. In the summer, your buddies are going, like you told me, they're going to Fiji and they're going to pairs, they're the world watching YouTube and playing video games, you're gonna be working. It's not fun, I'm telling you right now, it's not fun, but boys it worth it.

I said, if that's what you want, I'll show you the blueprint. But I'm telling you man, it's work dude. It's fucking work buddy, it's not gonna be cool. It's not gonna be cool, your friends are gonna wanna do this and this, you're not gonna be able to do that. Your friends are gonna be wanting to eat this, you're not gonna be eating that.

I'm telling you dude. That's right, Tabernaldo says that. I told him, I said, I'm telling you dude, we can go down this path. It's a mother fuck, I said, but you know what's cool? If it was for everyone, everyone would do it. It's not, if you want to be an outlier, this is what it's going to take.

And it's not going to be the cool trend. Is he showing those, is he showing real talent? Yes, and I said, it's not going to be the cool trendy thing to do, but trust me, the juices work the fucking squeeze dude Sacfice now, you live like a king later all your friends are me doing all the shit. We're not gonna be doing this He's he's held seven. That's pretty wild. He's understand and I and I told him and you know I try to make him a kid is really serious and I was honest with him

I said I'm spent committing myself this summer to you man. It's you and me buddy You're waking up with me. I'm right. I'm running with them in the mornings at seven, running with the hills with them in the mornings, we're doing all this shit. I told him I said, it's gonna be work man. I'm down to do it. And then he's like, yeah, that's what I want. Because that band cage is, he was kind of not doing great

and he goes again. I was like, I like that. And I ain't saying things. I'm not like again, you know, I'm like, whatever you want to do. I'm like, no, I'm like, let's go do, I'm gonna go fuck. But he's like, again, I'm like, right. So he hit, he hit, one the first one was like a foul. I'm like whatever you want to go. Let's go. No, I'm like, let's go do I'm gonna fuck. But he's like again, I'm like, right. So he hit one the first one was like a family.

That's not great. So I put a token in that time he hits five again. And it's late. We're talking, it's 6.30 already. Sun's coming down. We did an hour and a half before. Sprints, base running, throwing, hitting. He was again, all right, put a coin in.

I run out of coins. I go, don't bother coins. You just, oh oh that can get more Like I can get more go back. How long you gonna do this? He's like how many got to get I have five coins here This means you would have hit ten times dude. It's like 20 balls You know, that's a lot of fucking 200 balls you're hitting here, dude again 200 ball again again again again. We in the car again. I'm not a trophy dad. I'm like bovin. This is a lot, dude I'm if you ever don't want to do this,

you want to go play video games with your friends, do that, but he'd be a kid. But if this is what you want, it's this every single day. He loves it. He loves it. Is he, and then I made him laugh, I go, if you're scared, go to church.

He goes, well, I don't know, you scared, go to church. I'm laughing, nothing better. I said, if you scared, go to church. He's laughing so hard, you scared go to church. You're like, I'm passing nothing, that's right. So if you scared go to church. He's laughing so hard. You scared and when you pass my church, I pull in, I pull in, if you want to play games, stuff, go to church. It's the greatest thing.

He's laughing so hard. I love that shit. I love it. And then at night, you can watch, he's a TV in his room, he watch TV for 45 minutes for bed. He likes to relax online. And then I, we have a camera

and this I can see, right? And so I told him I go, when I was yours, I was obsessed with football. Only thing about it was football. So I was, was, was Saturday at life, outside that, it's football, dude. I was obsessed. Not because my dad told me,

that's what I want to do with my life. I was obsessed with it. It's all, if you want, I was an expert in football. So that's what it takes. So I tell him that and I'm like, but have we're gonna watch boss baby or something He's a guy figure. I'm like, right? I'm dude and I get on the camera watch boom watching baseball He loves Bryce Harper. How is he is he gonna be a monster? Is he a big boy? He's a big boy. He is

So he's got he's got daddy's jeans Although your wife and her brother's no slouch. No, her brother played college baseball. That's a lot of kids. Yeah, he was a catcher. How many of his throng? Catchers or the... I don't know if you remember, we were throwing those little round rubber balls

to each other. Oh, when we got the... And he started throwing the ball. And I was like, dude, that ball was like, I look like a UFO. It was like, oh jeez. You don't realize when baseball players throw the cool shit. No, you know, he makes a living teaching baseball dude.

He coaches a team, they just won the championship. They all got ring, center picture of all the rings. He does privates from Pasadena to fucking Malibu, like big boys, like he's a baseball expert. Yeah, and my son has that too. Our boy Kevin Bay's got that baseball gym in Arizona. And I was throwing, I was throwing, I was trying to throw pitches.

I think I got up to 68 miles an hour, something like that, I don't know what I was doing. I don't know what's good. I mean, I see the pros are throwing a hundo. And we're never gonna win that. I don't know what's good. I started throwing a ball and I was like, oh, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy.

But that's what they're doing. Oh, bro, like now I'm getting more into baseball, I'll watch videos because I'll watch something to help my son out with like timing and his back speed and his foot placement, all that, so I don't seem like I'm bullshin' them. You'll see these little Puerto Rican kids, where it's six, bro.

They're Cuban or Puerto Rican? There's both. Dominican. Dominican, it's Dominican. The Dominican kids, we're like six. Yes. Oh, blood. And there's no, well, it's over.

There's no private training. But they've been watching these balls since for six years. It's in their blood. It's, it's my blood. Best coaches, everything else. There's a whole book about the coaches there. There's a picture on, it might be the podries I forget. He's 19 years old.

I think he's the youngest starting to pay. He's like 19 or 20, but he came from the Dominican. And he just looked at him like holy, and he throws. He hits like Pedro Martinez, my size, but just throwing, you know. Oh, there it is, Yuri Perez. Yep. I hate.

Probably not a small kid either. So 20 year old became the youngest player this season, make it open day roster. Yeah, he's born 2002. Bring him up, let me see what he, let me see 2002, it's all there. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, beast.

Just crazy, these young kids, man. Yeah. That's the 19. That's Julio Urias. That's where the Dodgers. Yeah. I mentioned I'm a good dancer. You're a good dancer dude. Yeah.

The only thing too is like we talk about, um, areas. They get the freak. We talk about like, you know, CT and like even me and Sean Mayer-Mayor were talking about how, in most cases people aren't gonna get it, but as a dad, my son doesn't have to deal with any head trauma and can play baseball.

Very nice. Be very nice. It's weird to be around the other parents though and they'll be like, yeah, you know, hope sticks with it and you know, hopefully he's a dodger, I'm all. He's sick. Yeah, bro, take it. I don't talk like that in my son. No. I tell him, I within, you know, hopefully he's a dodger, I'm all, he sticks. Yeah, bro, take it.

I don't talk like that in my son. No. I tell him, if you're still doing, you're gonna be a, so many will be an outlier in high school, because there's so much that goes on it, let's just focus on being the best can right now and go from there. I played D1 college, that's a big deal.

Even that's a big, that's a huge gap. Of course. Cause you can get drafted out of high school Dude I saw like I just want you to be the best but but pop pop wall or play into a D1 program as a football player Like for example or a basketball player hardest. I've ever worked hardest hardest thing I've ever tried when you see what those D1 players were like in high school It's like holy shit like you see all these amazing guys in high school and they don't make it to a D1 program. Oh, I'm usually called out of like,

there were guys who were walk on set, never played. And they were first team all state, the high school quarterback, stud, didn't sniff. They're lucky they got a jersey. You get there and it's just a different animal man. Now take that. And then those guys don't have a chance of playing and then look at the NFL. It's to get to the NFL is so mind-blowing.

I know it is, but it's so nice. But that's why I wish people understood. Even with the UFC, it's like it's so nice. How about just making it to the Olympics as a wrestler, like Daniel Cormier? Yeah, hard that is. The hardest. Hardest gig in the world?

Like twice, by the way, twice. And being successful at it. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. And then John Jones takes you down. What do you got? Yeah, you think about John? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

It's like, people don't realize like when you see Izzy. He wasn't there. He's not to go, though. When you see Izzy, John Jones. He just said down Daniel Kormey, tell me who has ever come close to taking down Daniel. No, no, no, he, I'm going to double it. He has that sound. What against the cage and but that and and and and broke his will like DC you ever seem look at the clock.

No, he was like, I told you DC is the most impressive heavyweight or fighter in many ways, just with what like you could say is best combat sports athletes as far as wrestling credentials. I have no problem with that. Strikeforce credentials, UFC credentials. I have no problem with that. Heavyweight champ, UFC, lightweight champion, Olympian, Strikeforce World Champion. Never lost that.

He won't say Sahuto, I think DC is more impressive because the the air, the margin of air and that size. Yes. Dude, when he when he went into the you got to realize when he won the strike force Grand Prix fighting Barnett and Tony O'Silva. The what? Yeah. I remember those fights. And remember he was he's much fine five ten. Five nine five ten. Literally.

And five eight five nine. Yeah. And and was you know,'t been missing any meals. Walks in too, was a 205, could got down a 205, walks in the heavyweight, picking Josh Barnett up, taking our boy here as all the guns and knives. You're freeing me.

Right here. Doing whatever you want, just unbelievable man, just too much for all of them. Dude, you know how good you have to be to beat Josh Barnett back, man? Pick them up and throw them around. No, good Josh good Josh Barnett the war mastery son of a bitch the war master is his name listen I'm dying with Josh forget shooting forget gun violence for jogging the beast of my concern is is is resting point if I'm with Josh Barnett I hope he shoots

me correct that's how dangerous he's straight up head. He's a straight up warrior. I'm just kidding. Do you have a gun? Why? Because he tapped here on Gracie? Taped him. Yeah, he has even bigger acolytes than I mean, you're talking. I'm just talking about a grappling.

Oh, stupid. Yeah. All right. What do you got, Jim? All right, you get more tattoos, Jim. Blast, just don't look like a giant Travis Barker. Where, where did I get? You get more tattoos? Get more blast to daddy. I want to get more tattoos, you're getting blasted, you're starting to look like a giant Travis Barker. Where, where did it go? You get more tattoos, getting blasted, daddy.

I want to get more tattoos. You want more on the legs? You're lifting, I'm waiting, you're training? I do lift, remember, back to like one time a week? That's a real wish. Hold on, no, I was doing like three, four times a week, then I sort of got lost and did one time a week, now I'm back to lifting.

Let's get back consistency. Yeah, yeah, for sure. It makes me feel a lot better. To you and the Yakuza? Not in the Yakuza, I'm Korean too, so. Well, actually, the Yakuza are ethnically Korean, which people are around. Which is crazy, yeah.

Oh, Brian, you know, I got into lately. You know, I was in the Yuna Barmer for a little bit. He'd commit suicide. Dude, I thought he was dead already. I had no idea he was still alive. He actually came out too late. I'm just, yeah, little bit. He'd commit suicide. Dude, I thought he was dead already. I had no idea he was still alive. He actually committed suicide. I'm just... Yeah, he hung himself.

He's tried before though. With these things. He has a big following though. Like that manifesto on like, you know, yeah, hung himself. Mm-hmm. Brilliant mind. Brilliant mind.

He just couldn't take it anymore. I'm gonna pee. I gotta pee. I wanna hear it. All right. Old school. Old school and he. You Oh, it's cool. It's going to go podcast. Mm-hmm I'm eating this boy's might be back boys might begin together doing a little show

Theater speaking of theaters you and I might be doing a little stand-out. We have a little firing kid merch They are you so I'm post a firing kid merch on my story today like is this real merch? I's all set a store so the fire and kid army shirt. I was like is this real merch? I saw this in a store. Is the Fire and Kid Army shirt? I was like, that's real. They're like, this isn't a knockoff, like no, we did that six years ago. That's nice. What store is it?

It's not a rush. It's a store. Mm-hmm. All right. The Abbot Kinney Fire Club stuff, I think you guys need to bring it back. I agree, I'm saying it. Always talk about that.

I've been saying it a few day one. Yeah. Yep. I wish we could. I'd love different My card t-shirts. Yeah, I think you do the original the grace don't we do it of course. Can you set it up? Let me check with a guy Yeah, I'll do it I got a bit busy

But I'll cry in my car on the way here sometimes you know what I'll cry in my car hard on the way here dealing with the shit We got to deal with you getting me do car hard on the way here dealing with the ship we got to deal with. You kidding me, dude? Excuse me. Excuse me. You want to add that to my table right away sunshine under above the clouds. All right, let's go.

If people only knew any who I know I wish I could talk about it. So Tucker Carlson, he did a show on Twitter after leaving Fox 122 million views. Like I think even more than that. Oh, that was like 170 million views for just after leaving Fox. 122 million views. I think even more than that. Oh, that was like 170 million views. For just after two episodes. But he received a cease and desist letter from Fox because I guess they're contracted with him until the end of 2020. Yeah, but on Fox, here's the caveat with this,

it doesn't say anything about social media. Yeah, so that's why in the cut. Listen, Tucker is a very smart man. Despite what you think of his political views, I don't care. Very smart man. You don't think he checked in with his lords. Hey, go over this Fox contract.

Do you see any verbiage where it says Twitter? They go, there's nothing on that. Checkmate, 170 million views. And then his one yesterday on Trump's indictment. Yeah. Dude, if you are a Trump fan, it will fire you up. You're like, oh, this is why you'd vote for this man. It fires you up.

Like, and Trump gets stuck on the side. And if you don't like Trump, you in trouble. Well, I would say if you are in favor of, forget Trump, because I've never been a Trump supporter, but if you were in favor of liberal politics, and you believe that progressives are good for a city, I would direct your attention to San Francisco, and the Westfield Mall, Nordstrom's has closed shop, the Westfield Mall has given the entire mall back to its creditors.

Well, can you tell people what Westfield, all the malls you see, so in studio city, if you go all the way to Sacramento, if you go to the park meadows mall in Denver, any of those big outdoor, they have the main mall and then out to the mall, all owned by Westfield. Yeah. They're massive, they're out of Australia, I think.

They're like the lifeblood of, they're the best malls. Yeah. It's so bad in San Francisco, they left. They, the mall left. You guys drove the mall out of business. Whole foods left as well. Yeah, because you're, because the city council,

they're not even Democrats, they're communist and admitted socialist and communist. that's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like.

That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like.

That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. major city that they voted blue. That's doing well Give me like if you're gonna convince me to vote. What do you want better? No, I'm telling you say give me one take out take out the three larger cities That are all run by progressives and we'll go from Chicago Chicago 189 and 193 countries in terms of safety.

It's those cities that cause us to be a vibe. You talk about country. You talk about New York LA and Chicago. Sam, I'm talking about St. Louis. I'm talking about Detroit. I'm talking about there's a whole list. No, the list is, no, I've seen the list is LA, Chicago, New York. If you take those three out, we're 135th.

Actually worldwide. Yes, but if you take out Philly, St. Louis, and one more state Detroit, if you take those three out, we are 189 out of 193 in safety. So, you know, those are just the stats. But you're going to keep voting out, man. Now, I don't like any, I think Darrell Skumbags. I don't, don't have a dog in this No, but if you if you want to if you want to cause and call Drug addicts on the street taking a shit on house neighbors and campers like Portland does like San Francisco does like like Seattle does But go ahead you do that and see how that works out like LA was for a while until they came to their senses See how that works out. When you don't want to enforce the law and you think criminal justice reform means taking

repeat offenders and just putting them back on the street no matter what they do. If that's what you're right, if you don't work out, then how about crime? Crime got bigger? Yeah, it gets bigger. So they're so stupid. They're so dumb. Well, that's why it's a one-horse race. Well, who's gonna be the Republican?

I also have a huge problem with progressive's idea of what gender is, but that's also me. Because they think that kids should be. Well, that's on the left too. That's on the left too. No, why would you vote for that? It's no what gender they are, and so they should have irreparable operations and drugs

that make them sterile when they're 7, 8, 9, and 10. If you actually talk to them they they actually will say a kid knows what they are. Well you tell me you tell me I need my parents a I have to have a parent with me if I want you to tattoo under 18 but I can chop my wiener off and my parents might go to jail. Well there they're there they're right well there there are there are there are bills being introduced on the floor of California. That's say, I know. They won't pass. Hey, if you get in the way of a child's gender affirmation, they can take you from the house.

You are engaged. Those won't pass. People gotta be careful with that stuff. People are criminals. They're scrimmed back. They're, yeah, they don't wanna make the world better place. Don't call it gender affirming care for kids. It's called child abuse and child mutilation.

Yeah, the problem with like, if you see those bills, or I call these shit, they're going to take the parents away from the kid, if they don't allow them to transition when they're sick, or whatever. You have to be careful because we read that. The chance that I can pass are not good.

Yes, you have to be very careful. There are a lot of bills that are introduced that are insane. Let me ask you to be a question for you. I don't know why I ask Eric and Chris this. I've really fucked up because I don't know shit about politics. Let's say we live in a world and this could Definitely happen. Trump's in Dutcan. You gotta be people gotta be aware if he gets in this what they're fighting right now Trump seems Fighting if he gets the he goes through the judicial system if it's in Florida he gets away scot free if it's in DC or New York he's

Flocked. Let's say it is in DC New York. That's what he's fine right now let's say it's in dc where he's going to be really fucked let's say he gets thirty years it won't serve thirty but he's going to go to prison if that's the case if donald trump goes to prison what happens to america now remember over seven million people vote for him and you think people which i don't think i think he definitely played a part in the January 6th riots. That was nothing compared if you lock up a former sit in president.

So let's go through, hold on a beat, before you answer it, you know history, you're the best person to ask this, you know history. Can you go through the list of dictators that imprisoned their constituents, that imprisoned other people that were running against them. If you want to go through the list of former world leaders that imprisoned former presidents, it will scare the shit out of you. If you go through that list, yeah, I'd say the difference here is that there are a lot

of Republicans in power who wanted men, but they would love to see Donald Trump. Oh, 100% but I'm sorry, not by the chance to win Donald. Oh, 100% but I'm sorry not by chance to win Trump. I think DeSantis can win. If he goes, if I become president, I will pardon Trump because they can get the Trump supporters. That'd be his biggest alley move. He kind of said that. He's already hinted at that. He needs to be very clear. But the problem is DeSantis is not going to be Trump in the primaries. No chance. And so, but you're assuming Trump, right? You're assuming Trump, right? You're looking at what's going on with Trump.

You've got the indictment in New York. That's Alvin Bragg. Now that indictment is this. That indictment is to say you paid hush money to a porn star. That's not illegal. But he is making the case that it was a violation of campaign finance reform. Okay. That's a weak case. A lot of people said it's a weak case.

Okay, then you've got... Big was the document. You've got Jack Smith in... DC? In DC who is saying, no, I think it's Miami, I'm sorry, this is the Florida case, because it happened in Marlago.

The president was asked, there's another indictment coming in Georgia. And Georgia is that he violated a statute where he said, find me those votes, which was, can be, I think, deemed election interference in one way or another. The way it's worded, yeah. So there's going to be an indictment of some kind there. The mistake Trump made was that his hairline documents. Well, he had he had the documents. They said, give him back. He said no. They said, give him back. He

said, no. That's why Merritt Garland said, go get them. So they they go to Marlago, they get the documents, they get him back for whatever reason. Because Trump is so either stupid, arrogant or crazy or he's statistical. He said, yeah, you got him all. He was holding on to about a hundred of them. His lawyer, he told his lawyers he gave them all back. His lawyers find out that he didn't. Now his two of his lawyers resign.

They're like, this is, I sound an affidavit. I gotta resign. I'm gonna get in trouble here. I'm gonna get in trouble. It's because remember, Mike Pence and Joe Biden had classified documents when they were alerted that they had get in trouble. It's because remember, Mike Pence and Joe Biden had classified documents when they were alerted that they had those in possession. They gave right back.

They gave right back. So what the Justice Department... You know through the list of former presidents, that's not documents. The reason the Justice Department does that is because when you want your presidential library writing your memoirs, you have access to all those documents. And the DOJ goes, hey, by the way,

you gotta give them back and they give them right back. Give you a grace period. With Trump, he didn't do that. Not only that, he held on to him. Not only that, goes, hey, by the way, you got to give them back and they give them right back. Give you a grace period. With Trump, he didn't do that. Not only that, he held on to him. Not only that, there's a recording of him saying, I know I've got class by documents. The problem is this. It's two things.

One, there is a clear violation of law, and there are people right now, not only people that work for his campaign, but in general, who are in jail for this violation. Correct. Okay. The problem that he made is that he fucking, well, well, he had an opportunity and he didn't. Yes.

And he got caught. Now, it's up to the DA to say, you broke the law, it didn't do any damage. It didn't do any damage. It didn't do nothing. And so is it, did you technically break the law? Yes, but in the spirit of justice, am I gonna let you off? They're not gonna let them off.

There are too many people who want him to be invited, because when he's in debt, it's gonna cause a lot of problems for him. And I think their whole agenda is to make it so he can't run, because they're terrified if he's gonna run, because he's coming back to unpaying retribution.

He's gonna come back with a vengeance. So they're worried about that, which isn't good for America. No, that's not good. It's not good for America. But they just don't want him to run. So I think all this, even if you don't do prison time, they don't care if he goes to prison. They just don't make sure you can't run.

Yes. But he's also got another issue, which is that he called E. Jean Carroll, a whack job in the town hall and she's sued him again. So he's got that lawsuit again. That was whatever though. But he's gonna spend another $2 million. Oh, no, money was for sure.

He's got to deal with a lawsuit. He's got to deal with three indictments. The indictment is a big one. Because the other stuff, he can still be present. The indictment, if he did end up being guilty, he can't run. He's through. Those other ones, he can navigate.

But I would say Trump did this to himself when it comes to the president. I'm not saying. Give the documents back, dummy. Don't say that you didn't, and there's a document missing about, there's a there that I can't remember the name of the document. But isn't it scary that a sitting president

can go after a former president like that? It's not so much a sitting president. It's not breadman justice. Yeah, the department just can do that. It's not so much a sitting president. It's not bread. Yeah, the department just can do that. It's a little scary. It's always been the case that the sitting president can also pardon Trump. And there might be a precedent for that.

Because if he doesn't win. It's dangerous when our presidents are can be open to this kind of politically motivated. That's all politically motivated. We know that. That's what politically motivated. That we know that. That's what scared me. That's scary. Because the same weapons you're using on Republicans

are gonna be used against you. And here's a prompt, it doesn't help anybody. It doesn't move America forward. Don't forget something really important. One, when Trump was handling those classified documents, he wasn't president, he was a citizen. But here's the other thing you have to remember to be, all this stuff, I've seen the polls lately. Is it making this wrong?

It makes Trump bigger. Here's what. So even if he, yeah, people, they, because they know it's politically motivated and they're trying to get them out run. But the other thing too is with Trump is, for whatever reason, if he's caught up into this indictment, he can't debate. They're still going to vote for him. Yeah.

Because the first form of the Democrats don't want to debate. The Democrats and Biden won't debate is outrageous to me. You don't want to debate. You don't want to have dialogue. You don't want to defend your positions. Really. So you just want to be, you just, you just not interested in debate. Wow.

Because then you get annihilated. But here's the biggest thing that people don't understand the motivation behind people getting behind Trump Is the double standard Hillary Clinton with her emails dude. That was a real violation that that that that did compromise probably American Intelligence here 100% dude. What happened or they'll be probably American intelligence here. 100%. Dude, what happened or they'll be? Well, I'll tell you what happened. James Comey decided not to press charges.

The head of the FBI, because it was politically motivated. He's doing a book tour now. Said nah, and I think that's a turning point in American justice and American politics. And you were like, Comey said? Comey said he went on CNN. And it was the problem. People got to realize if you're going to vote for Trump,

it's going to be scary. He's going to use the judicial system, the DOJ to come after his enemies. I'm sure I'm first on that list. It's like, hold on. Is that not what you did to him? So wait, you're worried that he's gonna do exactly what you're doing right now?

Is that not alarming to every American citizen? It's insane to me. And he will, and it'll be a retribution. And I think Trump is ultimately destructive. I think because he's such an egomaniac. I'm a desantis supporter. I am not a Trump supporter, but- I'm a desantis supporter, yes.

But unfortunately, I don't think Ron Desantis will beat him in the party. I think you can. Maybe. This stuff is making him bigger though, with Trump's fanatic fan base. Like when they keep doing this stuff, like all they're trying to discipline him Maybe. This stuff is making them bigger though, with Trump's fanatic fan base. Like when they keep doing this stuff, like, all they're trying to discipline them and go

after them, use an illegal itself. They don't believe anything. They can have video of Trump lighting these classified documents on fire. And they still be like, no, he's fine. RFK might be the side effect because RFK is taking votes away from them. They're worried about them. From Biden and from the P.O. But RFK has bright wing and left wing

yes is against Ukraine and he's against Ukraine war yeah now remember whoever's against war it's never worked out if you'll do the history of politics in america anytime someone's anti war they will because we make so much money for the you create pay attention to the Ukraine right now it's very important because anyone who's anti Ukraine war they the deal jade they want to fuck you trump's anti important. Because anyone who's anti-Ukraine war, the deal, Jay, they wanna fuck you.

Trump's anti-war, Bobby Kennedy's anti-war. They're gonna make sure they don't get that platform. They want war, dude. That's an interesting, that's a, that's, that's, there's a lot of money in war. JFK anti-war. A lot of money. Shot in the face.

Yeah, a lot of money in war. The, all the money. Yeah. All right, go, Chen. We're deep shit today dude you come you come to the fighter and kid on a Wednesday you better pack a lunch and come to pack you know what we might hit you with you know what I'm saying yeah I got really into you know I'm saying I got into the the you know I went down my unibombered you know I

get into the serial killers I go I'm reading a book in Osama bin Laden right now, right? And then the next chapter I just started with reading a book on Osama. Yeah. Wow. Interesting story. It's Osama bin Laden. It's called Osama. Yeah, it's great. Who wrote it?

You know, I don't know. Yeah, I literally just looking up on Amazon and ordered it. I'd the top ranked one in order. For you. But the newest one I guess is the Dom who's saying, interesting story. You know, when they captured him 10 years later, but you know, when they captured him, oh, that Osama's 10 years later, but when they captured him, he was like six months later, our special forces were looking for him, they found him

a bunker, a mile from his house, and he was in the bottom of this like wood bunker, and they get him, and then the intelligence is interviewing him, and they are, we're the weapons master destruction, and he word for word goes we've we've never had that that bush made that up to break his he to protect his daddy none of that's real it the first thing said and then so the intelligence when told bush that he's a eyes full of shit

then tell chaffer did an interview a few years ago and he's like i'll be honest and there was no weapons master's section you know this for a fact we know they didn't find it and that but they said when they had nuclear inspectors We had what we had them there. They do they said when they got Saddam the first thing he said he's like there's no weapon and they were like what when they said we kept talking He's yeah, he's really honest and like this is weird. We're expecting like this demonic like weapon master's destruction It was not the case and they say he's very smart very prideful

It's interesting when you know when they when they were jeering him and he was very smart, very prideful. It's interesting. Well, you know when they were jeering him and he was getting the... Call them all sheep. Well, he called them, he said, your monkeys, you're not men. They were putting the news right. The news right? He was, you're not men, you're monkeys in a tree. They said the only time they saw him cry when they're interrogating him is when they brought

up his kids, his daughters. He was like, I was a good dad. He was like, I love them, they love me and I'll put ingress on them dearly and start crying. He was such a butcher. You know his hero, his daughters. He's like, I was a good dad. He was like, I love them, they love me, and I'll miss them dearly and start crying. He was such a butcher. You know his hero is Joseph Stalin. It's never good. No, not a good guy. In any way.

Joseph Stalin, in prison, his- They used to do what they do, what they would do to political prisoners to really break you, is they would, they'd blindfold you for two weeks in a cell and just have you blinded. God, but the first time your eyes hit light, it's soaping.

Well, it's not just that, I'm glad you said that because they'll let your eyes get adjusted to light because they're gonna get adjusted to light that you're gonna hear something weird and sell in a behind-the-class wall in full view, you'll watch your wife or your daughter being violated by a man who was paid by the government to do this. He would rape your, the women in your family.

Who's job is that? Well, he was a guy who was on the payroll. He found that. He was a guy who was responsible for defiling the honor of female political prisoners or the wives of political prisoners. Jesus Christ. You would come to and you'd see that. So. Dude, how about Saddam? So he was with Usain and his other son who were the bad guys, the Uday Uday and the saying. Kusay. They're insane. Horrible people. But so Saddam was made to their mom. And then he's at this thing and this hot blonde Saudi sits down with her husband

and Saddam was, I like that. They tell the husband, sit down. The wife sits next to Saddam, he starts whispering in her ear. They go to the husband and like, Saddam likes her. He's like, that's my wife, like, we know. He likes her. He's like, no, that's my wife. You'll be compensated.

Yeah. Saddam ended up marrying her. What? Yeah. Well, he's marrying her. What? Yeah. Well, he's a guy. And just left his wife and told his buddies. She found out she was, wait, oh, he got married? Yeah, yeah.

Saddam got married. What? It's over. Yeah, he had moved out. Yeah. He didn't do himself. His buddies told him. Yes.

Saddam, you didn't hear? Saddam. Saddam had a fucking wedding. Yeah. And just so you know, because the blonde. Saddam used to also do this. He had his henchmen, the people close to him. And then once every two, three years, or whatever it was, they would all disappear.

He killed them. Because he's like, you guys are, you know, I can't have you that close. So I'm going to, now, they would just all, it'd be a purge. Oh, his head, his head general, which was his sister's brother his best friend He grew up with since he was six. Yeah his head general. They started losing the war when they tried to

Take over Kuwait. No, yeah, yeah, right? They were they were they're right. They were losing the Kuwait they were trying to and they got their ass What he blame on that guy? He's known since he was seven. You know what happened to him? Oh next day Helicopter exploded randomly. How crazy. He didn't tell anyone, he goes, it's tragic. Yeah. What?

That was your best friend. Yeah, he was a real peach. Real. What's interesting is that the interrogators go when they caught him, not small dude, and in shape. Oh, he's a big man. Is that what they said? He was six, two, and they were like, and in shape.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, a big, strong guy. Is that what they said? He was six, two, and they were like in shape. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, a big, strong guy. He was a gangster. Yeah. He was a gangster. So interesting, huh? Uh-huh. He's interesting, dude.

Very interesting guy. Smart guy. Very interesting guy. Yeah. All right, what do you got to? All right. Here's a quick one. Good listen.

Write it down. Keep going. So, all real quick. So, I'm so crazy. He thought when, like with Osam bin Laden, he's Afghanistan, right? So in Saddam where he was at, he was like, oh, this can be good. We're gonna be able to partner up with the US.

They're gonna help us. He didn't think there was gonna be a war. He's like, they're gonna help us because we don't fuck with Afghanistan either. Well, we built his, we built his army. Yeah. We built his army. He was our ally against Iran. Yeah.. Well, we built his army. Yeah. We built his army. He was our ally against Iran.

Yeah. We supported. We gave his troops satellite coordinates of the Iranian National Guard. You know, we told them where they were. He thought he was glad or something had been loud and was our enemy because he was like, it's our army too. We're to partner up and take these bitches out. That's right.

No, sir. No. No, I think I'm a terrorist. I'm That's right. No, sir. No. No. No, I think I'm a terrorist. I'm a fuck with these guys. Let's get these guys. America's like no, no, no, no. I don't know if you remember when you used chemical weapons and like, on the Kurds?

And his own people. Yeah. Horrible. Horrible. Good guy. 100,000 children, dad. Think about that. 100,000 children.

Yeah. Ah, he was like whatever. A butcher, a true butcher. All right, give me more. Alrighty. Sure? Yeah. All right, here we go.

Georgie. Fans sent this in. This is a small business owner that somebody stole from so they followed him back to their house. And documented it. Oh, that's a nice job. What's she steal, do we know? Yeah, one second.

I asked. Guys, okay, so this rag-a-caste bit came into her body and stole from my store. Stole from my store. Okay, stop the catch. And we're going to follow her to her house because she's going to pay for it in there. Right? Yes.

Okay. So, enjoy the ride and we'll let you know where she looks. Let's play a game called, look in the leaves first. See what she has. Oh, y'all should get a skirt. You see that? Yeah. You've raggedy bitch.

You look at me like I'm see if you stole from me. You got to be right. Demosteen from Small Fitted. So you want to feel bad for the lady? I do because I'm happy the worst cop. Me too. I'm like, alright. What happened? I know. I'm the wrong guy because I would happy the worst cop. Me too. I'm like, all right. What happened? I'm not. I'm the wrong guy because I would never enforce

the law. In this case we're liberals. I'm a liberal. I'm a fucking weird heart. It's the system that did it to us. I made our steal. You know what? White privilege.

You know what? You get a lot of ways. You and I are a couple of libs. When it comes to that, I just, I just am not, I'm not good at that stuff. I could be addicted, but don't show me, don't bring me the people because they could talk me out. If you hurt people, it's one thing.

If you steal, it's like, I know. I mean, you're probably a side-backed. I lady looked at it, I'm partly. So embarrassing itself. Both of them, it's awkward. She got arrested. Yeah. Like, if you stole food, because your kids were hungry,

I'm letting you have it. I'm sorry, I can't do that. But, but if you're stealing, yeah, the sad thing that she stealing, was it makeup? It's a small business though, also. Still lingerie. Yeah, you're stealing, yeah, the sad thing that she's stealing was it makeup? It's a small business though, also. Like, still lingerie. Yeah, you don't need that.

Yeah, it's a small business. She's probably, she never actually has done that, you know, sometimes she's stolen from people. Oh, I know, it's not the first time. No, no. There is the thief sock. That's why I like Turkey, cut her hand off.

But see if she steals again. It's not Turkey, but yeah, Saudi Arabia. And Turkey? I don't think so. Pretty sure. No, bring it up. You're, but yeah, Saudi Arabia. And Turkey? I don't think so. Pretty sure. No, bring it up. Bring it up. Do I bring it up?

Remember Singapore? I remember if you like spit or something. I'll say a pain you, say a pain you, some more crazy like that. I know that's what one chain with drugs, you got hung. Dude, one chain with me, she was asking me to come to the same point. I'm like,

Oh, it's a pain. You know, I care a plane, but it's like, wait, I can't pee outside. Papa, the best food in the world. You're gonna love it I know but if I fart on the bus, I'm gonna go to jail probably No, you don't want to join gum. We're in your hair long. I get Lee Kwan you he was a benevolent dictator You still there nope. He died as I think his son's running the show See the same they can I do I have to come in here Lee Kwan you it goes down as one of the great figures of

certainly Lee Kwan-yue goes down as one of the great figures of Certainly Political history in some ways. We can have long here big dick. I'm screwed Yeah, he was like no I'm screwed. He's no big dick chewing gum. Dude no big dick right and if there is a homeless guy in Singapore They were confusion. They was Chinese. They was Confucius like the harmony clean orderly I mean it was incredible chicken you look if you have a big dick in the Singapore I think I think because if I'm gonna gel for that, lock me up. You might be up.

You might be up. But, but, uh, yeah. Let's just do it for fun. Adversize, oh no. Is it true that Singaporean may have short penises? Not totally true. Written by Singaporean, dude. The human penis length is about five inches on average.

Well, I'm crushing everybody. I'm Godzilla and Singapore daddy, right? All right, what do you got, Chin? All right, this is another one, Georgie. This one here. Yeah, this is a fan art that the fans made for you. It's a little Earthworm Brie. It's great.

It's like Harry something? Well done. Harry ball the one, 94. Earthworm Brie, why am I earthworm again? Oh my neck. I told you your neck looks like an earthworm That's a good. That's a good. That's really good I have more hair than I mean that Harry ball I got more hair than I do but and a stronger job But I'm not here. It's coming back. It is darker. It's what you look like now Yeah, it really is coming back. It's fucking amazing. What else you got, dude?

And you could do, if you're super insecure about that stuff, you could do the tattoo. Yeah, I'm not a tattoo. Oh, you don't want to be. My neck tattoo. Yeah. I was about doing that for my psoriasis. It's going for my neck all the way down. You do it now.

Because your psoriasis. Way better. Yeah. Here's a bear that somehow ended up at a beach in Florida. Dude, I couldn't get over that, that uh, shark attack on, they conno tape. Which one? Did I say, oh, I hated that. You know when his legs go up, that's because the shark pulled them down.

Oh, yeah. But there's a bear that showed up on a beach. Why is he showing out the beach? They're saying it's a very small bear. It's from a sand dunes and he thought I want a cool off. This is in Florida? Yeah, Florida. That's a baby bear right there.

Yeah, that's a baby bear. Hey dude, get away from the bear. What's going on? It looks like a dog. That's a small bear. Yeah. I think I think around the fucking snout. This 14 year old kid just got a job with, I think, SpaceX.

Yeah, SpaceX. He looks like he got job crazy smart. Hell yeah, yeah, big brain on Brad Look at him, dude, but four years old. I'm sorry for your 14 years old, which is insane. That's wild He's a child prodigy. Yep Genius, he didn't find school challenging enough and he just passed every test that they gave him so that's so cool That's cool that's basics, you know, there's no age limits for you know, it's a do you do the kids though are that fucking smart They call them on the spectrum. I just think they're so smart. They can't Fuck with our wavelength. I think they're so right no They need to do stuff like no he's so much more advanced than where we're at as a fucking culture

You know, I'm saying like he he's so smart, he done, think the way we do it on talk. Yeah, because our stuff is so rudimentary to him. You think he has an issue. That's how smart he is. That's right. Here's just a fun one. So you guys know who Kevin Gates is?

Yeah. Rapper, very inspirational guy. So I'll just play this clip for you. That's like his butthole. I love that. Does he? Yeah. So he's a rapper, I like him.

And then Georgie knows the story. You got famous in prison or something? Yeah, his mixtape came out, he was down in Louisiana, and he blew up while in prison. So when he got out, newfound fame. Got new teeth, newfound fame. So I'll just play this clip for you. Like all of the music they did not play these times. Because the combination of gold, like I'm just a all of the music they did not make it time. Because the console is too cold.

Like I'm just a bit of a risk not being his god. I'm a bit of a risk not being his god. I'm a bit of a risk not being his god. I'm a bit of a risk not being his god. I'm a bit of a risk not being his god. I'm a bit of a risk not being his god. I'm a bit of a risk not being his god. I'm a bit of a risk not being his god.

I'm a bit of a risk not being his god. I'm a bit of a risk not being his god. I'm a bit of a risk not being his god. Right you ride you down just a vessel forgot now my vessel guys I like the kiddies all very funny video kids all god bless Dick you down. Thank you down. Oh Ryan secrets was yeah, so I guess he's gonna he's in early talks to replace Pat How much money do you die Ryan? I'd rather die good. We have his money. You just what you want to do a daily fucking game show dude. Okay, dude. Whatever you're running from Yeah, it's going two hours all the money oh it's price that's what happens when we rock and roll I get another sure that's the less now all right let's wrap it up we're good man hope you

guys enjoyed I'll see you in Denver June 29th 30th and July 1st, Blue Room. I got Blue Room July 2021-22. Yep, and I got... I'm in Greensboro, North Carolina too, guys. I don't remember that, but anyway. And July 28-29, I'm at the improv. Oh, yes, some big news come for me and Brian, little theater around here. We'll have announcements for you. Next close one, Shob and Friends pastina July 28th, once only 8pm, and then I'll be around them at Lafactory Saturday, be doing sets all next week in LA. But I'm in LA, baby. Alright guys, love ya.

See ya.