The Flop House - Ep. #173 - Transcendence

Episode Date: March 7, 2015

Turns out that being Christopher Nolan's cinematographer is not the same thing as being Christopher Nolan, as we found out when we endured Transcendence. Meanwhile Elliott explains Dan's unusual way of reading, Stuart has a Transmorphers flashback, and Dan sings a little cow opera. Movies recommended in this episode:The Evil ClergymanThe Woman on the BeachSunshine

In this episode we watched a little movie called Transcendence. Little movie. It was actually medium sized. Medium is pretty long. Okay, thanks guys. Nailed it. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey Dan, great opening. I'm Stuart Wellington. Hey guys You're doing a bang up job so far. I'm Elliott and I think we're on a super

What road? We're on a super road to nowhere Well, Dan did you say your full moon? 66 by some I said my full name. You didn't say your full name. No, I think you just said Stuart. No, I said Dan McCoy, you said Stuart Wally again, and you said I'm Elliott. Oh, Kaelin, this is the last name. Very clearly.

Great job, Dan, I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliott Kaelin. All right. Great job, guys. We're a little stupider than normal. Weirdly, we watched a movie about man increasing his intelligence through computers and made us dumb.

Yeah, it made us dumb. It made us way dumb. Yep. Like dumb and dumb or two. I mean, I'm assuming that's dumb or than the original. I haven't seen either of the dumbness quotient. Just to have nice other first ones. Yeah, yeah.

This would be a weird hill to stand up. So if we... I don't know if you'd want to defend that statement that you'd never seen dumb and dumb. So we start over or- No, let's keep going. Just keep going. Look, we can't look backwards.

This- We only go forward. There's no breaks on this car. It's a five-cast where we watch a bad movie and we talk about it. And in this case, the bad movie that we watched was titled Transcendence. And let me tell you guys, I found it transcendently stupid.

Oh, turn around. Super fun. Take that. Critic slap. Slap. 100 points. Super excellent. Awesome power.

You have a lot of the secret of great. It was directed by Wally Feister. Fister. Fister. Twally Feister. Feister. Feister. Feister. Twisted Feister. Mm-hmm. Just like Wally sounds dirty to certain people.

It was it's someone who sticks their fist into the butt of the cute robot from the Pixar movie Wally. Right. Wally Fister. And it's, wait a minute. I thought he has like a front butt, right? Because he squirts out little trash cubes. Yeah, yeah, you stick his foot in your fist in his front and I spelled with a pf.

So it looks like Pfizer, but it's faster. I mean, if you only read the first three letters of the name, it looks like Pfizer. But once you hit the S, that's not a Z. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second. It's a different word. Oh, what am I doing? If I watch the movie, let's see how this happening. Let's see how this turns out.

I like the idea that you read every word slowly letter by letter. Yeah, and I always try to predict what's gonna happen. Just pick up a book. Sometimes I'm confirmed, sometimes I'm puzz word is ended. Call is the first word. Okay, M. Call Mother. I think that's what no any. Okay, and another space. Call me. Great. This book is really a revenue. I mean, I can't wait to finish reading. What is this? M.

O. Modus operandi? I know. A B something about the mob. Wait a while. Moby the musician. I assume. A space. Yes, that fits that theory. Moby. No, a D. Hold on. Moby the musician I assume a space yes that fits that theory mo no a D hold on Moby Goers it's a DI oh no a C Moby space DIC I assume it's about Deak the old animation studio that made kids cartoon nope Okay, and okay is it about someone named dickerman? No, no, no, okay another space Moby dick. Moby Dick, it's called. Well, onto the next word, be okay, could be anything. Why?

Okay, bye. And after that is some more letters. I mean, the funny thing about that is like, I don't think that's entirely inaccurate about the way that people, like that reading works. It just happens at such a fast. It happens so much faster than you did it with Wally Fistler's name. I mean, I just, I started with a P. Okay, explain it. That's the next

letter. That was all I was saying. So Wally Fister is best known as a cinematographer. Yeah. Christopher Nolan. He worked on many other movies too. But he's best known for his movies for Christopher Nolan. He's best known for his movies for Christopher Nolan The Bratman films The appearance of a Mogron Freeman Mogron Freeman And of course, he made the movie interception

Yeah, can't uh He made inscription He made uh The prestigious The prestigious I don't know if he works on momentum Or the fallowing Insomniac. Yeah, that David Tell movie.

He had her still nerds. But he's a big shot director in Hollywood. The Dark Knight Fisers. That's the one where Batman has a erection that lasts more than four hours. And he beats a villain to death with it. Well, that version of Batman, not only is way more pornographic, but also kills people.

Yeah, it's different. Look, it's not the bone regatham wants, but it's the bone regatham deserves. So Wally Fister is a cinematographer and does he have good storytelling skills in this movie? Or is it the script problem? Well, that's, I mean, that's a question. This is a blacklist script, Ellie.

That's a question for the ages. Yeah, James Spader wrote it. This was this movie, was it Wally Fister or was it the screenwriter? Because there's a, there's a, it's not a good movie. No, it's not a good one. No, it's not a good one. And it is anchored by one of maybe the laziest Johnny Depp performance I've ever seen.

Where it's like he is channeling Marlon Brando at his worst. Like it's Johnny Depp always wanted to be Marlon Brando. Here he is, lazy fat apocalypse now Marlon Brando where he didn't show up having read the lines or even gotten into shape. And it's just kind of mumbling in a dark room while a light plays on him. There's probably is wearing sweatpants most of this movie. Yeah, he's either at wearing sweatpants was just standing looking into a camera. Some kind of

like the kind of pants that like a genie would wear. He spends a lot of the movie in bed. But this also he's got an accent in the movie that is totally unblastable. Yeah, it might be British. It might be just mumbles. We don't know. But the thing is about this movie. Johnny Depp is playing a quote-unquote normal character. And for Johnny Depp, normal character means guy who was uploaded into a computer and there's a computer guy. But that even being in case average Joe like he seems average Joe. I'm interested in it. Like Johnny Depp would rather be playing, you know, the fucking mad

Hatter with the Scottish accent for some reason. Look, if he doesn't have a crazy voice and like a shitload of pancake make-up on his face. He doesn't give a shit about what he's doing. He doesn't even get out of bed unless there's a prosthetic nose attached. I almost didn't recognize it was John Lutz because he's not wearing like a hardy guy mustache. He's not wearing like a three-tiered hat in this movie. He's like a bright yellow waistcoat.

Yeah, you're like, there are no scarves to be seen on this man. Exactly. But yeah, this is a science fiction movie. That explains the lack of scarves. Now what's, no, yeah, because scarves don't exist in the science fiction universe. Don't need them.

It's a movie that's based in science, but it's fiction. Now what is science fiction? Yeah, is it? It is. I'm not familiar with the terms. It's speculative. It is speculative. It's got a specular minute.

How science could be applied to the fictional world. So this movie begins in like... I don't think this. So this movie begins unlike like cybertron or something the transformers are fighting the mega bots mega bots which are just big bots yeah the average bots and the average bots are another race. More bots than meets the odds. The more bots are really morbid robots. In the new in the new movie, Transformers 5 lots of bots.

So many bots too many bots. Plenty it's called lots of poppin. Transformers 6 bots a poppin. Olsen and bots hands on hot bots. So let's talk about this movie, match bots 20. Let's talk about this movie. So it starts off in a world strangely like our own except computers are used as like door stops and electricity seems to have fled the earth. We're in Berkeley, California. Oh my god, you see Valley. Not really.

You're wrong in multiple ways. Silly cone Valley. No, I just met Berkeley as home of the silly cone. It's a new kind of ice cream cone made out of gummy. Very hard to hold. Very sticky. So all the electricity has disappeared. And that means that you, Paul Bettany, to walk in and give us a little voice over narration that electricity is available in some cities

they think, but none here. And it's all because of the work of his old pal, Jonathan Dept. Let's flash back five years earlier. Johnson Depson is a computer scientist. He's kind of like, totally normal human. Yeah. Totally normal mumbly Joe guy with a mustache and glasses and just with a real with a real plain Jane wife. Yeah. And who plays this who plays this wife? Rebecca Hall who as Elliott pointed out is often postulated in movies as as a ordinary lady. She she's like a sensible alternative like in Vicki Christina Barcelona

She is the like friend who's not as sexy in movie fleet as Scargeau. Yeah, yeah, please give she is Amanda Pete's like doubty sister. Yeah, she is a beautiful all this Ignores the fact that she is a ridiculously gorgeous human. She is like a, she just is a work on her posture, you know, straight back posture. But it is a book on her head or something. It is a zookeeper level of, in other movies, not in this one, but other movies is zookeeper level of pretending

a beautiful woman is not noticeable. Like how it takes Kevin James half the movie to realize Rosario Dawson is gorgeous, doesn't make sense. Anyway, movies too busy. You've been married with that. Rosario Dawson. The Cuban't make sense. Anyway, you've been married to Rosario Dawson. The Cuban miracle is that they've been able to keep an economy sustained for 60 years with our embargo. Yeah, wait, who?

Uh, or Fifla. The flop has an embargo on Cuba. Yeah, they can't listen to us there. Yep. Until they give us more of their delicious sandwiches. Cuba Rosario Dawson. Is she Cuban? I don't know. That's confusing sandwiches. I'm sorry, Adolfson.

Is she Cuban? I don't know. That's confusing me. I don't know why. You're calling the Cuban miracle. No. Well, I said, you're a boy. I said, human miracle. We both heard Cuban.

And I'm like, Cuban miracle is the Cuban. At first, I was like, she's not. She's not the top sandwich. She's not related to Mark Cuban. One of the different, one of the sharks from the shark. Yeah. Uh, Dan, the Cuban sandwich is the top sandwich. I don't, I mean, the Rubin sandwich.

The Rubin is a shit sandwich. I know it. No good. My friends, you are wrong. No good. Kill the podcast. We're not talking about movies anymore. We're talking about sandwiches, not a wrong Dan.

As a human and as a Jewish man. As a not talking about movies anymore. We're talking about sandwiches. Not a wrong dance as human and as a Jewish man as a Cuban. You should understand the charms of a nice smoked meat sandwich on rye. I love smoked meat sandwich. Sour proud. Don't prefer the ruling. Yeah, some cheese melted on there. I don't like what thousand. I wonder something you put on that shit. You get thousand live indrush. Okay. So it's been live of Zany Sandwich my friend hey if your sandwich is feeling a little down the dumps there's a thousand island on there yeah eat the secret ingredient every drop has a thousand islands in it okay the you actually islands are running out across the globe. It is the most expensive sauce there is.

It's because there are one-founties of dressing. It's a dressing which is different than a sauce. It's one of the original sauces. Yeah. Three and five, some French sauceier. You're saying it's not a Beckham L. Yes, it's not that. It's not it.

What's that? Cheese, cheese sauce, I don't know what that means. It's like milk and butter and I was right. And the flour. So we begin. It's a cooking podcast. So five years earlier, Johnny Depp is a scientist. He's my true becahal.

He's interested in creating a sentient AI that will have a soul and answer all of life's questions. And she's interested in how he's technology to clean up the earth and make it better. A disturbed Lucas Hawes. So he'll... Obs opposite the track situation. Yeah, she's the, she's the, she's the, she's the, the Paul Ebb rule to his MC sketch,

to his doctor professor sketch cat. Finally, Paul's, yep. A disturbed Lucas Hawes, the audience demands. Wait, I mean, that's good casting. But I think this is one of the first chances that we see that, that Wally Fister is really pulling on his Nolan cred to get to get Lucas Haas in there. Then he gets Morgan Freeman.

What was Lucas Haas in? He was an inception. That's a mother shit. Yeah, he's the guy in the beginning who gets taken away by Ken Watanabe's goons. Oh, yeah. I think I remember I haven't seen in that movie since it came out. Okay.

But but we see a cast of actors. It's got Leonardo da Vinciaprio in it, right? Yeah. That's Leonardo Caprio and Leonardo da Vinci in the person. No, but in this so it's got Morgan Freeman, Morgan Freeman, Morgan Murphy, And this move so it's got Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman and Murphy and Morgana the kissing bandit Freeman and Lucas has accuses him of wanting to create a God and then later in a hallway shoots him with a bullet

Meanwhile at the same time I don't know what you said It was a camera Special bullet It does turn out to be a special bullet It was a bullet colored with Johnny Depp killing poison. It turns out that it was. So one of those cartoon bullets removed from Roger Rand. Yeah, and it zooms by the camera and goes,

Yeah! As it's going. Like, R2D2? Yeah. It's a little R2D2 that he shoves in a gun, yeah. Yeah, so. My poop, where? Yeah, I know R2. I'm going to shoot you with that guy.

So at the same time, terrorists blow up a bunch of computer labs. It turns out they're part of something called Rift, which is like repulse in fading for technology or something like that. Rejections in theory or fucking technology. Anyway, they're anti-AI zealots. And it turns out the bullet they shot Johnny Depp with was coated in Polonium. So he starts dying of radiation poisoning.

He was working on a big supercomputer called PIN that can talk in a kind of a Sigourney Weaverish voice that I think was Sigourney Weaver. Polonium's named after Bill Pullman, right? No, no, no. And it doesn't make any sense. Two things, sorry. Two things, sorry.

Yeah, but so Rebecca Hall is like, how do I fix this? Oh, I know. I'll upload my husband into a computer. Yeah. Or I can't save a spot. I can't save a spot. I don't know. So I'll save his brain.

We had some of the early parts of this movie where they explain relationships. No, they're married. I've known some kind of weird polygamist relationship with Paul Bettany. No, Paul Bettany is just a hangar on third wheel friend. But what about Morgan Freeman? Morgan Freeman is an old man who should not be in this movie. He has literally no character role in this that makes any sense was necessary. Okay.

Except his stand round. Killian Murphy is a government representative. He works for the FBI or something. Okay. And for some reason, the government really wants to see this artificial intelligence technology continue, and then they don't at the end later. But Morgan Freeman is around mainly to just talk to people and witness things. It almost feels like he just showed up on set one day and was like, well, I'm in the

movie. Get me my costume, write me a part and they're like, uh, it's just whatever you're wearing. We're gonna frame it. We're gonna frame it didn't take his medication. Just play along with his psychosis. He thinks he's in the movie. He's having some sort of last Vegas.

Let's get a minute here. That's how he really ended up in last Vegas too. It was in my bucket list to be in a movie about transcending. What character is this voice coming from? It doesn't sound like Morgan Freeman, that's your show. All my voices eventually become Sean Connell anyway. So he, they upload his brain to a computer. At first, they don't think it worked.

And then it does. and he's like, hey, there's this kind of... Hey, Sup. Hey, girl. You up? Just because I'm a computer doesn't mean I don't appreciate you for who you are. He's like, hey, Bay.

Hey, Bay. Hey, Boo. We could be all like this, but you play in, yep, yep. Play in video games on my computer. Stop it. It's like I talk to you. Stop grabbing my joystick. He instantly is like, hey, Evelyn,

we're back at Hallscharter. Plug me into the internet so I can talk to every computer that has money or power. And she's like, oh, okay, you got it. That makes perfect sense. I'm just a girl. And Bob and he's like, don't do that. That sounds evil. And she says,. I'm just a girl. And Paul Bettany's like, don't do that. That sounds evil.

And she says, get out and does it anyway. Yeah. These. Because of love. The Johnny Depp gives her $90 million billion. Mm-hmm. And in the computer world, and she goes on the run while these anti-technology terrorists

kidnapped Paul Bettany and beat him up a lot and ask him to help them stop the computers. Meanwhile, we're back at Hall and Johnny Depp computer face. This will be like by a town, alpha desert. Yeah, they buy a town just like Kim Basinger did that one time. And they turn it into a technological experimental utopia where people who get injured or were born with defects are fixed through nanobots because Johnny Depp being a computer has accelerated the development of technology by a million percent.

And now there's nanobots flying around fixing people's eyes and shit and making people super strong. They lift up from the ground. Yeah, there's just tendrils and nanobots floating around. The government, they don't like it. They're afraid. And so they like, team up with the terrorists or are just kind of using the terrorists

as a front to attack the town. It gets really boring. It gets too boring to pay attention to until eventually Paul Bettany's thrown in with the anti-technology guys. The government wants to throw out Johnny Depp from the earth and. Just a super-muppet. Shoot him into the side space. to throw wants to throw out Johnny Depp from the earth and just scoop him up and shoot

him into the space. Well, it says put it in the fan zone. It's as good a solution as they come up with. Is that what happens to the nano bot guy and like Tom Strong? He sends it to another planet. The modular man goes to another planet that he can take over for himself. Oh, the modular man. He could be a desk.

He could be an in table. You know, he could put plants on him. You could fit whatever your lifestyle demands. Yeah, I love that guy. Very useful. But what? Better than the mod jeweler man, who just makes kind of like British swing in 60s themed jewelry.

But the man, the man jeweler man though, I like that guy. The mid jeweler man is less of a villain and more of a food service industry, mainstay. Yeah, it just shows up with a nice tulip when you're waiting to just shows up. It doesn't have like a card or anything. He just appears. Yeah, it just appears out of a fucking puppet.

You say, you say, you say, you say, you say, you say, you doesn't have a card or does it have a card? No, he lives. No, you fucking turn the lights off. Look at the mirror and say, I want to meet you at least. And he squirts out of the faucet. He has the hand of our mustache and those and those gardeners around his arms that they wear, you know, those straps.

May he lives inside of some woman's derby. Lives in the hearts of Louisville and teenagers. He lives in a pewter cup. And if you find it, he owes you two wishes. One of them has to be for Mitchell. Yeah, you're confused. And the other one has to be for a Mitchell accessory of some kind.

Yeah, extra mint or something. Save dice. The trick is more wishes count as a Mitchell accessory. But you can't wish to know the winner of the next Kentucky Derby. It's against his rules. No, unless the winner's name is Mitchell of, but then you'll never know if he's saying the name of a horse or just the name of the delicious drink. That would be a super patronizing name to name your horse. I name it Derby winner. The name of my horse is best horse.

Runs the fastest. Yeah, so I don't know what happens. So they go to the town. Let me explain. Okay. The town turns into a forest. Let's give transcendence the minimal respect it doesn't deserve. So yeah, it's this, they just build solar cells all over the place to power their computer

place. And it turns out Johnny Depp is not just healing people's bodies with his nanobots. He is getting into their brains and he can control them from afar, from Jafar even, the villain from Aladdin. And how much better would the movie have been if it was, if Johnny Depp was playing Jafar from Aladdin and you had like a nan bot Gilbert Godfrey Diago parrot flying around. I mean, pretty confusing, but I guess I would like it. And it would be a musical. Let's not forget that. Confusical.

I was confusing. Musical ever made. Wait. I think I saw that review of musical. Why they married now hold on a second is this happening in the song world Or is it happening in the real world? Dreams within dreams in Confusical Characters that changed names mid-scene Julie I'm using story singing about their emotions. Are they singing about the way they feel about their emotions? Hold on a second. Did I even buy a ticket? What am I doing here? The last two songs were just eezimbra style nonsense poetry.

I don't know what's going on in this movie. The letter said I had to come here to pick up my hot dog. Of course I could look blue like that, go to waste. I'm for another adventure. Confusical by Julie Teymour and Salvador Daly. Of course I could do like that go to waste For another adventure Confusical by Julie Tamer and Salvador Dolly It's the outer Dolly that the second hour of the movie is the start of a dolly going you're confused right? You're so confused

I mean he's confusing be honest have you ever seen such a confusing and musical and don't lie I know you're gonna say, I know his Italian. Yeah, that's the same Salvador Dalino. That's part of what's so confusing about it. No, you know I'm a Spanish, but I talk a little bit of Italian on accent. It's me, a Salvador Dalino. Amazon confusing. It's me, Salvador. It's in Super Dalio brothers.

It's me, Salvador, it's in Super Dallio brothers. There's Salvador Dallio and his brother Luigi Dallio have to save the princess who actually is a lobster telephone. I mean, I don't know that you can actually, like, surreal up Super Mario brothers further from where it is at. Sure, just make everybody answer and cakes on their head. I'm like, much rooms and turtles kidnap a princess for reasons unknown. Why wouldn't you get an apple? And a plumber has to fix it all through his jumping and pipe going through his skills. And if he hits a box with his head, there's a money comes out of it.

Yeah, or sometimes he turns into a weird furry character. You can fly. I mean, that was until the third part, but sure Are you saying it's non-canon? There's only one non-canon game and that's super rare brothers, too, whereas it's also known dokey dokey panic Yeah, I guess that is I was gonna say a joke name, but that's the real one. That's the actual one So that's so so so here's our okay. So Rebecca Hall is probably like five of those so Rebecca Hall becomes afraid of Johnny Dept because he's become too powerful and too inhuman and he started growing his own body parts

Which is weird because he's not the most human dude on the planet to begin with yeah The she clear her type is clearly weird computer guys around the time that he uses his powers to control another man's brains so that he can come onto her and she's creeped out by that, she starts thinking twice. So she leaves. And he didn't even pick like a hunky dude or a dude that she was interested in. No, he wasn't a terrible looking guy. I'm not saying he's gross, but you described him as a like Tommy was though before he turns into a vampire.

Tommy, if we can see what Tommy was all looked like before, uh, yeah, the whole lot of it on fucking angel or something. Yeah. Oh, the fell of before count your guy had his way with Tommy was though. They look like this guy. Not so bad. So anyway, uh, that she shows up with Paul Bettany and the anti-technology people. They've come up with some kind of vibe.

She has some, they've, ah, whenever. They've been saying that a sample of the Nerovans, they build a virus that when uploaded into Johnny Depp, we'll destroy all technology and thus stop him. And she says, put it in me, I'll go in there, he'll try to upload my consciousness and it'll kill me, but it'll get into him. She's like, put it in me, I haven't been with. He'll try to upload my consciousness and it'll kill me, but it'll get me I haven't been with a man in months. I'm assuming in years. Yeah, I'm married to a fucking computer screen and you thought your family was weird

So I guess in the scenario the virus like is a good thing that turns her on. Yeah, put it Okay, well, she's got this weird kind of David Cronin, David Cronin, bringing in fetish for the dissolution of the body. Right. You know, like it turns real existence situation. Whereas most of us are turned on by like a healthy human figure. She's turned on by decay or maybe even and deformity. Yeah. Because it kind of reminds her about the thin line between life and death. And that excites her. And thin line between life and death and that excites her and the difference between humanity and

Cold on thinking synthetics exactly it makes her realize what's special about us and therefore what is to be desired? We're working on some slash Between that character and Optimus prize we were working on a movie that That hopefully we could imagine H.R. Geiger and the director of Tetsuo, the Iron Man, could collaborate on. So the, so she gets this virus put in her, but it's like the military is like, hey, you know what, let's head your bets

and just shoot a bunch of mortars at them also. Yeah. And try to blow up his solar panel farm. Yeah, so she is real shot up. Johnny Depp has this point. He's totally created a body for himself. He's made a, including a handsome waistcoat. A very lovely tailored outfit. As you mentioned, he looks like he walked right out of there. We'll be blood, you know.

You know, there might be blood or there's going to be blood. There's a 50% chance of blood. Yeah, cloudy chance of blood. With a chance of blood, cloudy with a chance of blood. So he meets her in his new Johnny Depp body. She gets all blown to pieces. He takes her to his layer, his computer layer to fix her. And but he knew the whole time that she had this virus inside. Yeah.

His nanobots picked up on the, on the plan. And so he makes the conscious choice to upload herself into him to get the virus. And in an instant, he accomplishes her dream of cleaning up all the rules, oceans and lakes and trees. And then they all electricity and technology is destroyed. How great would it have been if like a tiny little nano bot would have jumped up on his shoulder

and went like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, and he would have been like, wait a minute, they're trying to kill me with a virus. Yeah. And then like another nano bot jumps up on his other shoulder. You guys can never get along. You're just a couple of, a couple of rascals and jokers. And so we see at the end, Paul Bettany goes back to their old house to the garden that we didn't talk about with the sunflowers that we didn't bother to mention and finds that there is a A wire framework around which was some kind of ferrd a cage or something to block out

Electromagnetic pulses. He notices there are some sunflowers growing there and waters dripping from them And there are nanobots in the water He set up a place where his computer self could survive forever in swind with the computer personality of his beloved Rebecca Hall. So I guess it's kind of a happy ending. Yeah, I don't know how to feel about anything that happens in this movie. Is one of the problems? Maybe that's the signal that it's good art.

I mean, I think that the movie is strong. It may be a thing. I think movie is trying to do that, where you're not supposed to believe. You're like, supposed to wonder what Johnny Depp's motivations are through the whole movie and whether he really is Johnny Depp and whether he's good at that. I mean, they did that so well that you're wondering what he's saying half the movie because he doesn't talk clearly. Yeah, but that does, it's not a compelling, you know, confusion. It's just, it's just confusion. And then at the end, you're like, okay, well, a bunch of stuff

happened and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it. So great. Thanks, transcendence. A lot like life. Okay. But yeah, it's, but it's the main problem for me is not that it's confusing, or I don't care about the characters,

but then it was just the cardinal sin of being very dull. A lot of the time. But part of that is not caring about the characters. Part of that is they introduce like, there's like eight major characters in this movie, and none of them do have any sense of like who they really are. Yeah. To the point that we were literally like,

okay, so like, Gillian Murphy and Morgan Freeman are just standing around. They're good actors, but they're not doing anything. The best part for them, yeah, but they're standing on a roof of a building. In like a cloudy day, and they will insist on wearing their sunglasses while looking through their fucking binoculars.

When they're looking through, but by binoculars. Binoculars. There's still the sunglasses on the line. Binocs. Wow, it's really nighttime over there. There's still some less on the line. Binox. Wow, it's really nighttime over there. It looks really dark where we're looking.

Could be like. Well, one of the problems with movies that like a lot of times high-minded science stuff doesn't translate very well to movies. Like the movie opens with Johnny Depp's character giving, I don't know, like a Ted talk or something. And it just sounds so like cliche. Yeah. Like a Ted talk. Yeah. I'm just saying they got to have some boring enemies. Um, yeah. Did you guys ever read? There's a New York article you a while back about this guy planning to do a title? Oh, yeah. Where he was like, I got like, I got to have the wow factor.

So his wild factor is you just brought a cow on stage. No. It's the same wow factor that you would get like a 4-H competition. And like a stage maker. You expect to see a cow with a 4-H count. Oh my God, a cow on a stage. I've never seen such a thing.

You're brilliant. Let me give you millions of dollars. Your cows are usually in fields. A cow on stage, it must be a great opera singer Strike up the band Actually cow doesn't have a very good voice Yeah, it would be amazing. I should have picked it. I mean, but that's not much of a TED talk. That's like the King Kong show where it's like we're going to a Broadway

theater and then we just look at a gorilla strep to a metal frame for like an hour. I like relative seeing just straight to get this wrist. If Carl Dindamids taught King Kong to sing opera, now that's a show. Now, that's a show. I shall fit for a me, a Salvador Dalí in Confusical. Yeah. All right. Hey, Kate Mars in this guy. Yeah.

As a character that doesn't really do anything and doesn't really have a point to be there. Well, she's running that anti-technology chair. Yeah, but that group doesn't really do anything and doesn't really have a point to be there. Well, she's running that anti-technology term. Yeah, but that group doesn't really do anything other than injure him in the first place. Yeah. Like, my sister, Rooney Mara, was the girl with the dragon tattoo. Maybe this is the way that I will, again, overcome

is the top Mara. Yeah, Andy Rooney Mara. Top Mara. Why does it have to be a dragon tattoo? What if it was a dragon with a girl tattoo? I've got a tattoo of a girl on my arm that I got during the war. It's not a girl that I know. Just kind of an idealized, cool girl.

I've never seen anyone actually, Hula, but on my tattoo, it looks pretty good. That's Andy Runeemara. Yeah. Sailor Jerry. So you like the movie? No, let's move to final judgments where we talk about whether it's a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie actually kind of like to like it when all the nanobots were flying around

and making people strong. I like strong. None of this movie. I wish that that had been, I didn't like the cubes flying around and transformers, but I liked that more than the kind of wispy nanobots here. Now you had a good point when we were watching the movie that it might have been more interesting if the movie just started with like people living in this little town, the sudden. I think if someone, if we had been dropped into this situation where there's a town in

the middle of nowhere where this weird kind of super high tech lab that nobody knows much about is being set up. And it seems- It may be employing some local people. Yeah. And it comes out that it was run, it's being run by this famous computer scientist who hasn't been seen in a long time. But like I guess he's been working on this project or something.

And then we eventually find out that he has since died and uploaded his personality to into a computer. And the computer is now running in a direction that his work logically goes into, but which is divested of emotion. And maybe one of our main characters gets recruited by this anti-technology terrorist group or something. Yeah, or they're working. Yeah, they're working there and they get recruited. And at first it seems crazy, but then maybe not. Like, if this movie had more of an element of, like, surprise to it or more of it, like, I recently finally got to see Edge of Tomorrow, which was a really fun, enjoyable

movie. But like, if that movie didn't have any sort of, like, mystery at the beginning, it would have lost a lot. If it was just, like, you knew right from the top, everything would have lost a lot if it was just like you knew right from the top everything that was going on, you know. And it's not like it was a mystery that was impenetrable, you know. It's just enough to get to intrigue you. Like this needed that, you know. See, I think they thought the mystery of how did the world lose its machines would keep you going, but it's not interesting.

The trailer tells you exactly what's going to happen. Johnny Debs, you're gonna become fucking Max Headrom and fuck everybody over. Headrom. Headrom. I can actually headrom these. It's off-rom. So it's like, I wish that the main character was not the scientist, but the main character

was someone encountering these people and that it started with you within this weird situation rather than telling you everything that led up to it. It's similar to my problem with the imitation game where you are... You're told... It's a much imitation. No, I'm a game.

This, where it's like, we're investigating this guy who had a break in his house, but he hasn't reported, you know, he doesn't want to report it. Let's find out who this weird guy is. Flashback, his entire life up to the point where the police get interested. So by the time you see the police interrogating him, you're like, what the fuck do I give a shit when the police find out?

Like, I already know everything. I know this guy has him. He just fucked a pig on TV. I think you can be using two different characters. Two different things. And every time you said that, that was the same thing. The same thing. The same. You know, the policeman is the prime minister

who has sex with that big. PM Pickfucker. From Black My Roar. By the way, this movie was like just a really long, not good, like this would be the worst episode of Black Mirror. Yes, yeah, exactly. And this, but it's also one of those movies that is science fiction, that is deeply anti-science at its heart.

Yeah. That's like, with is all about the power of computers. What could possibly happen? They're evil. Don't do it. You know? Yeah. Well, that's, and that's what people have said about Black Mirror.

What's great about it is not that the technology's like totally out of control. It's, it's working fine and it's just how it impacts humans. Yeah. Uh, so that's three bad bads, is how I'm gonna invent a new rating bland bad. Yeah, this is, if this had been called Long Mormand II, Long Mormand, all the loans in the universe.

I might have thought it was okay. Well, there was a Long Mormand too, but it... What was it called? Cyber buddies, I don't know. I'm flowers for called cyber buddies. I don't know Flowers for cyber not lawn mormon to robot in the family. Oh Man robot in the family. There's a stupid movie lawn mormon to mowing it But the lawn mormon just needs to get laid

He goes down to cyber teoana to lose it to Shelley Long. I'm Viz. And I'm Teresa. And we host a comedy podcast about parenting where we remind you that despite what the internet says, no one really cares what kind of parent you are. One bad mother. We're the friends with kids you want to hang out with. Check us out on iTunes and maximumfund.org. Before we move on, we do have a computer show.

We do have a sponsor tonight. I'd like to just say that the flop house is brought to you in part by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform that makes building your own website simple and easy. If you want to build a website and you, because who doesn't want a website? Look, as Transcendence shows us, computers are the future. We're all going to be living in cyberspace eventually, bopping around with bits and bites, downloading things into our wet brains. Point. You know, living in a Dyson sphere or some shit, economy 2.0. Anyway, the point is, Squarespace will help you take that next step into the 21st, 22nd,

and so forth centuries. Yeah, that's right. That's pretty much. In a way, even us meet puppet organics, can understand. Squarespace Hedge Bags. Squarespace has beautiful templates. The call from MaxFund, it's like, can you not use the word flash bags

and you make your spots anymore? But anyway, it has beautiful templates. Yeah, it has integration with Google Apps and Getty Images. So you can get your stock images, if you like. You need a picture of a Stelgetty. Squarespace is there. Responsive design that maps to whatever you're looking at this on like a phone, an iPad,

or your good old fashioned laptop. That is not to be underestimated. That is a very important thing. For free trial and 10% off your first order, go to squarespace.com and enter the code flop. Squarespace, start here, go anywhere. And while we're at it, I would ask that listeners, market calendars for the 2015 max fund drive. Max fund drive? Yeah, the last.

That's a max of fund overdrive. The last two weeks of March are the best time of the year to support your favorite podcast because beginning. Which is this one? On March 16th, we'll be pulling out all the stops producing some of the best shows of the year on maximum fun with great guests, great topics offering exclusive. Thank you. We're going to have a great guest. I was trying to keep that secret. Okay. We have a great guest. We have a great guest. We have a great guest coming up.

We have a great guest. We have to say the name of the guest just yet. We have a great guest coming up. Offering exclusive thank you gifts to a Tys you to become a new or if you're already a member and upgrading member of MaxmanFun.org. Now, how does this, this is a pledge drive? This is a pledge drive.

Now, you might know the pledge drives from your NPR listings or your PBS watchings. But this is better than those because, I don't know, Max funds cooler. Yeah, Max funds Hipper and cooler. It's got better stuff. It's maximum fun for maximum you. And there's a lot of great podcasts to support

over on Max. I'm fun. Sure. Us. Yeah. There are lots of others. No, you got a judge John Hodgman. George Jesse go. Yeah, my brother and my brother and others. No, you got a judge John Hodgeman. George Jesse go.

You got my brother and me. Bulls, yeah. Adventure zone. You got Wambam, Pow, ladies. You got solvows. A lot of pop rockets. All kinds of things. Go to maxmanclon.org.

Marker buddies and take a look. But the max fund drive starts on March 16th and runs for two weeks. It's the most exciting time of the year here at Maxman Fund. So then very Nicholas Cageway. So that's it. It's the most exciting time. It's the most wonderful time of the year. That got creepier. And that's the one. And that went to the football.

So, Max Fun, Bloods Drive, March 16th to the end of March. Listen, donate, pledge, watch, and pluge. Won't you for maximum fun for me and you. Gross. So, moving on. What's the next part of this show? The next part is where we read letters from listeners. Go ahead and read.

Listeners. Wait a minute. Keep going. I love it. I love the sound. Let her let her let her let her let her let her from listeners. Let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let her let Thank you, little pitchy guy. You got your letters here, you got your letters there. Hand them in, hand them in, we'll read them. We're at the Flop House Mailbag. It's the Flop House Mailbag. Put your Flop House letters in the Flop House Mailbox.

Flop House Postor Service takes it straight to us for the in the my my mailbag. It's a bag mail for the flop house with Dan and Stu and me and you for he and who for she and the Stewart, you know what I think You know, I forget it song is over bring that out for singing cow maybe maybe they're used to performing in a barnyard, but I am not I'm gonna stop singing By any means necessary. So the first letter, Jean-Claude Van Damne. The first letters from Cat last name with Hells.

And I would say that this letter is content light, but very charming. I'm just saying this. Wow. That is the meanest compliment. Oh, no, it's, no, you'll see. It's a delight. Cat Dennings, I apologize.

It is a delight. From Cat, she writes, Hi, Flap House friends, I'm very drunk. I think you're great. One, Dan's the best and I've torn my ACL before, so I empathize with him. Two, Elliott is so clever and funny. Three, Stewart is good too.

I'm a lesbian, but I still think he's hot. I train horses for a living, so I have a lot of free time to listen to podcast. I don't know why that I don't understand how that tracks. I listen to training horses takes a lot of time. I have a lot of free time to listen to podcast while I'm at the barn. So I'm pretty much a podcast connoisseur, a pot of seer, if you will. But yours is the best, like better than cereal, even.

Sorry, NPR. Thanks for making me laugh at work in between screaming at it horses you guys are real human beings and real heroes I love you cat last name with thanks cat that was very sweet Dan I likely you read that in a way than the drunk person would yeah well it's not a stretch and I agree we're better than cereal I'll tell you why I agree those're better than cereal. And I'll tell you why. I agree, those horses are dumb. Number the first, if horses weren't so stupid, where are their hands? Why did they think of hands?

If wishes were horses, everyone would be right. We would run. We would run. Yeah. Number the two, while horses are dumb, have you ever heard a horse talk once? Well, twice if you call it count hot to try. Okay, three times raising stripes. Okay, four times. Francis, first one with Mr.

Red. Of course. And then most recent was our recent flop as collaborator, C. Biscuit. The main scene of this. Well, the popular horse of the world. Hey, see, Miss Ganesha, show nobody. Gotta go. Wait, were you racing off to see Miss Ganesha? I always gotta go somewhere. Got a lot of appearances. Because I'm the most popular horse. See, Miss Ganesha, out. Oh, wow, he's got a new catch phrase, I guess.

Well, we'll have to ask him about that next time. So anyway, next time we can't demand him into existence This next letter I I got to say this next letter may be my favorite letter. We've ever gotten I don't want to oversell it But you just did if it you're better than Mads makelson likes you guys because that was pretty great This is from Matt last name with held is there a picture of Crang from the teenage mutant ninja turtles peeing on somebody? It's titled, thanks a lot, my students think I am a weirdo.

And it goes like this, I am a teacher at a private girls school in Australia. Uh oh, you may have written into the wrong forum. Recently, we had to take the students on a camping trip. All was going well. It's so... Dear Flop House, I never thought your letters were real, but then something happened to me I had to tell you about.

I'm just a normal guy with a three foot penis. I have a professor at a school for girls who are 18 or older, but look like they're 16. All right. Creepy, right? That's what I thought, until I had sex with all the girls. Always going well, until they had to sit down. I'm just a professor at fuck Academy.

You can hold up to you. Always going well. That's what I mean. It's a university. It's a university. No, it's called Academy, you age Academy. It's a university. It's a university. No, it's called Academy, you age Academy.

I was going well until they had to sit down to eat the dinner. They had cooked and the camp leader said, quote, can all the girls please hop on the tarp now? Well, they didn't immediately respond over the bullhorn. Girls, get on the tarp straight away. I need all girls on the tarp. Thanks for my favorite podcast. All I could think about was Misty Monday and other tarp stars. And I could not. Tarps stars? I could not stifle my laughter. Yeah, I was a star in the tarpies. I was asked why I was laughing by staff, students and camp leaders, and I could not give an answer,

but also could not stop laughing. So thanks to your pervisoidness, I'm now seen as a weirdo. Thanks for the laughter. It helped me get through some tough times. And quick question, what do you think of the 80s film The Last Dragon? Great, isn't it, Matt Lesting with Health? I don't remember that well, but I remember being charmed by it when I saw it when I was a kid. I don't think I've seen it. It's the sequel to Pete's Dragon, right? No. Oh, no.

Sort of a, where humans are hunting down LA at the dragon. It's sort of a comedic. You mixed Pete's Dragon and Dragon. It's like a faux black exploitation kung fu movie. But it's, yeah. But there's a cartoon dragon now. There's no cartoon dragon. Where's the dragon come into?

Oh god damn it, there is no dragon. Is that like an Eastern mythology sort of thing? Yeah, like a wisdom dragon. Point is sex tarps. That's the point. That's hilarious. I like how many times people tell me they listen to the show and it has made them look crazy or stupid in the public said.

It's pretty much what we set out to do. Yeah, we're just, this is an elaborate punking of all of our listeners. Yeah, punking Brewster. Uh, punking Brewster. Yeah, why don't they ever do punky Brewster's millions, right? I guess punky Brewster died. They left her money to somebody, but they have to spend it all. She died under anesthesia when giving her boobs to

God she died far still her time she was locked in an old-fashioned refrigerator. Oh, but the public service announcement told her not to do that So you glad nobody made fun of me for using the term smaller So this is from Randolph last name withheld and Smaller so this is from Randolph last name withheld and He says Floppers I recently discovered your podcast over after Glen Weldon recommended it on NPR's pop culture happy hour Thanks Glen it quickly became my favorite Why would you do that? Totally I'm disrespectful and unnecessary such a friend to us

It quickly became my favorite podcast and all that I listened to over the holidays. I haven't stopped listening to your podcast while drinking beverages, because I have kept doing spit-takes with eggnogs or mold cider all over my life. I'm playing away. Only the stickyest of beverages go into my mouth

and then immediately out of it. If there was some way I could liquefy a candy apple, I'd drink that. Because I have a recent immigrant to Flop houseland. I ended up binge listening to almost your entire back catalog this past month That's a lot of episodes in a short period of time. I think that that's a lot of horses to trade I can say with absolute certainty. I enjoyed every minute of your podcast with one notable exception Elliott's horrific singing introductions to the flop-ass male bag segments. Hey, DWI deal with it.

You may have seen that bumper sticker, which reads, if you can walk, you can dance. If you can talk, you can sing. Eliot has proven the second half of that edge to be a bald-faced lie. I'm sure Guantanamo guards could repurpose Eliot's singing, editor's note. Dan, please make air quotes through fingers, when you say that word. As part of their enhanced interrogation techniques, I found Elliot's singing so grading

that after one episode, I decided to put out my eyes like Etapez Rex. Oh no, or Sam Neal in the memorizing. Then I remember one's eyes have nothing to do with one citizen hearing. That's what I'm gonna say, yeah. And I continue to suffer through the mailbag introductions. As I would like to continue.

You did it game itself a little bit of the punishment that you're gonna give in Princess Bride, where they cut off his eyes, then his nose, then his hands, but they leave the ears. So the pain. As I would like to continue listening to this podcast and not lose any more body parts, I'm sending Elliot a group on for $25 off

a one hour voice lesson at a vocal school in New York City. So Elliot can and I'm quoting from the group on description here unfold your true potential in an extremely supportive environment. I fully expect that after this one lesson, Elliot's really a total stream of gosh, this quasi-song will transform into a beautifully crune, thoughtfully cracked composition, sung tenderly and in correct pitch pitch with full diaphragm support and proper breathing techniques. Elliot, I love you, man, you're funny, dude. The time to hit the woodshed and work on those singing chops.

Practice, for the love of God, please practice. Yours in music, Randolph Lasting with Hell, and here's your group on. Well, thank you Randolph, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. And to think when I saw- To paraphrase, you're great, but you suck. Yeah, when I saw this thing, when I saw the paper for one hour vocal lesson

Behind the emails and was reading I thought he had just accidentally printed out a group on he had bought for himself Yeah, well, I think I will take advantage of this I know that I can't sing and that's why I do sing show people that nothing is impossible. Oh, chaser dreams. Yeah. To dream, the impossible song. To sing the thing that I am singing to Dan and to Stuart and that cat over there. This thing is the flop house of stuff. To singing. I mean, I would to singing. I would also say in Ellie's defense, I don't think he's trying that hard. What are you singing though? I would say. I would also say, and Ellie's defense,

I don't think he's trying that hard. What are you singing the letters? I would say, you're not trying at all. I mean, from a singing point of view, there's zero trauma. I've heard Ellie sing better, I'm saying. It's also, we record this the end of the day. I've done a lot of singing at the office.

Yeah, a lot of singing about the foods that we're eating and the lunch line. And what meeting is starting. You guys getting a lunch line? Yeah, well, you about the foods that we're eating and lunch in the lunch line and what meeting is starting You guys getting a lunch line. Yeah, oh, you got a little catered Do you have like a lunch lady that puts the slime on it? No, it's barf from you can't do that on television Seltzer but Ellie's that's where he went There's a lot of like does he serve Canadian food or no, no, it's regular food. There's a lot of like Ellie It's like call the flower do I want it? Yeah. Why not? I'll have some call the flower.

I assume everyone would be everyone's lives be improved by my stream of consciousness out loud decision making through song about what I'm going to eat that day. That were if it's the 315 meeting. There's a lot of, Hey, everybody what meeting is happening right now at 315. It's the 315 meeting that's happening right now. That kind of stuff. It was a peabind the curtain, huh? Yeah, there's a lot of singing that goes on at the daily show.

And dogs. Yeah, the dogs sing too. But for this last letter, it's sort of a, let's say it's a repost less of the previous, like a Perry. Like a Perry, like a Steve Perry. Yeah, it goes like this. Oh, Sherry. Hey there.

Hey there. House back of Flopstra name. I was listening to the latest episode of the Flophouse while trying to attach a hat and a skateboard to a straight cat and a pair of nerdy glasses to another. When I started wondering why there was no attempt at remixing a male song. So as I have no work, I took it upon myself to lazily slap one together. You can find the result of two hours at my time here and there's a link to the song. Two hours not well-spenser though I appreciate it.

Not because it's what you did as bad. I haven't heard it yet, but because... I mean, it's inherently a waste of time. To do anything involving my singing is a waste of time. But he says, I did see you had a competition for songs in the autumn, but unfortunately at the time I was not a member of the Flop House audience, aka Flop House collective, big up me, Flop House brethren, 2k, 15k. Me, brother, still kicking it. Where are my boys at?

Wagwan, flop house. Name pending approval. So I missed out on this contest. Still, I hope you can find in your heart to give it a listen. And maybe you can play it on the show as it's not very long because again, I'm very lazy. Keep up the good work, everyone. And Stuart, the beer you drink is garbage. Thanks for the left.

Bass, last name with help I was starting a fight right right at the end It's like you're leaving a party and you're like great time. Thanks for inviting my loved is the name of a fellow in a tracks I just somebody in the most about bez This is the director of like a great-gad speaks spectacular. I think for I still wears a tracks I think for still wears a tracksuit. I think for our outro. An image of Buzz Lorman directing Australia. Well, wearing like a tracksuit and gold chains. Mm-hmm. For our outro for the show, I think I'm going to have to put on this song. So we

can all enjoy it. Spoiler alert. I think you know it to America. I don't know if that's a spoiler or something. I mean, I guess we'll hear in a minute. Thanks for putting the work into it and thanks for listening. And thanks to everybody who wrote in and everybody listening. We appreciate it. Yeah, despite all the critiques of Elliot. Yeah, I mean, I can take criticism. Yeah, I'm pretty even though. Just like one four one against.

That's true. Yeah. It's the, we still need the tiebreaker. Yeah. The president pro-temps. So somebody who write in whether or not you love or totally hate Elliot and also if you'd like to use the the key on the lock Just write in radio Zork continues But now what's the next part for the final and least popular segment of the flop house? Okay, so it's time for

chest hair report Everybody we've shaved our chest hair as we do every episode into a different shape. Let's reveal it now and we'll see if we can figure out exactly what it is. Okay. Alright. Zip, unfuck. Unbutton, unbutton, unbutton, and zip, and unbutton the other layer and zip the last layer. As you can see, this is a carefully manicured dollar sign. Very well done. Yeah, very nice. Mine is sort of boring. It is just a rhombus The lines are very straight. That's good. Yeah. Anyway, as you guys can see I've I've completely reproduced Sirot's Sunday in the park. It's amazing. And in chest hair

I do point elism in chest hair, but you've a lot of tweezin' my friend a lot of tweezin' Okay, so that's that segment and now on to a much more popular segment, recommendations. I know the Tyler paintings really like Sunday on the grandjod or whatever. Yeah, whatever the grandjod is. Sunday on Jod with a H hot sale barge by Sarat. Everybody's inside. Nobody goes on the fucking roof deck. It's lovely out there, bro.

It's really beautiful in the hot Tatooine sun. Don't you want to see the herds of Bantha walking around? They're out there having fun. Sarat, get a whiff of Sarat. The hot Tatooine sun. But no, this is recommendations. walking around. They're out there. Get a whiff of Sarlaq, the hot tattooing son. But no, this is recommendations. Movies that we watched. They actually liked Stuart.

What do you want to recommend? So this Christmas, my wife got me a membership to Christmas, believe in miracles again. Stuart's tale, the movie. So, last Christmas, you play with my heart. The very next day. This Christmas, my wife was kind enough to give me a membership to Full Moon streaming, which is the streaming service for Full Moon Productions.

The production company that has brought you such great movies as puppet master retro puppet master, Dolman, Dolmanverse demonic toys, puppet master to subspecies to subspecies one, etc. I didn't even mention any of the mailion. Yes, female into and female in one.

Transers and transers. Transers, transer cop, transers two, female in. Female in versus transer cop. There's a couple other movies. I don't know what the master is, a female in. It's kind of a, like you may have heard of it, it's called Castle Freak. Whoa.

Head of the family. I am a robot now for somebody. You may have heard of it. It's called Castle Freak. Whoa. Head of the family. I am a robot now for some reason. I've transcended the set of human flesh. We've churning it up. It's like I'm going to turn all of humanity into perfect beings. But first, let me catch up on full moon entertainment slate of titles.

So I recently watched something on there that hasn't been available for a long time. It's a short film, so it's kind of a cheat, but it's Charles Banned, directed an adaptation of the evil clergyman starring Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton, and it also has David Warner in it. And it's a great adaptation and it manages to be kind of creepy and kind of sad. And it's just, it's fun to see any time to see more young Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton gang to act together. And David Warner is a big get for a film.

Yeah, it's huge. It's great. And it was part of a, like an anthology movie, I can't remember what it was called. You can look it up. But, uh, still recommendation. You do the work. And I think the only way you can see it is by joining that streaming service,

but it's either I thought it was genuinely cool to get to watch. I would like to recommend, and I may have recommended this before. I don't know. Castle freak. Like, I don't look it up on the flop house recommends page. Maybe I forgot.

I don't care. Do some the flop house recommends page. Maybe I forgot. I don't care. Do some work for what's in your life. But we watched a science fiction movie that I did not like that involved Killian Murphy. So I'm going to recommend a movie that I did like that's a sci-fi film with Killian Murphy. And that's the movie Sunshine. I had him. Except for the end, it's awesome. Chris Evans was in it.

Now here, I'm also gonna, like I wanted to address this. A lot of people feel like, oh, this movie's great except for the end. Well, first off, it's a Danny Boyle movie. It's about, it's about a world where the sun is dying. And so there's a mission, this is actually the second mission to attempt to try and go up and kickstart the sun is dying and so there's a mission, this is actually the second mission, to attempt

to try and go up and kickstart the sun by collecting $20,000 in donations. But if they don't make that money, they don't get to keep the stuff that the sun loses it all. Now $50,000 for the sun. I want to see more Veronica Mars, Elliot. No, but we really need the sun. It's the sorts of all life. All he eats, all warmth and life. I don't have as much nostalgia need the sun. It's the source of all life. All he eats, all warmth and life.

I don't have as much nostalgia for the sun. Okay. You should. Now, for $50, you get a sign photo of the sun. Okay. For $20,000, you just feel the whole thing. You get an executive rusa credit on the sun. Oh, wow. That's not bad. No. For $10,000, the sun will critique your light producing effects.

Okay. So I can get some skills out of the deal. Exactly. So sunshine. No, they're going up there get some skills out of the deal. Exactly. So sunshine. No, they're going up there to blast a huge nuclear payload into the sun. And they've got like a big like sunshield. So like the closer they get to the sun, they splash damage. Well, they don't get like worked up by the sun. Yeah. I'll crawl crispy. Yeah. Everything. But I think somebody gets crispy in this movie though. Oh, they are super super crispy. Super crispy, extra crispy.

But a lot of people they're I feel like Chris Bano. I feel like the conventional wisdom on the story. It's really burnt. The conventional wisdom on this movie is what Stuart said that people love the first kind of third and they don't like the last start. I actually also like the last third. Like people complain that the last third turns into a slasher movie. What I like about it is it turns into a slasher movie that is super trippy,

that the movie talks about, you know, as they approach the sun, there's this like sort of like time distortion, like this, there's this effective like, you know distortion like this. There's this effective like You know like the gravity of doing this thing is is just warps reality and I like how the movie Also mirrors that like it get like the movie gets very trippy towards the end as you know, they're running around trying to avoid this Mysterious killer who comes in and the last third and last third. And I like it all through the whole thing. Yes, Jason X. I guess I just think that the it rather than being like trippy and interesting, it just makes it hard for me to watch. It gets very visually interesting and also visually hurt your eyes. But you guys can watch it at home and tell us which one.

But I like all the hurt your eyes stuff. So yeah, it's up to you. It's up to you. I can share this as for you, Flop Nation. Choose your own adventure. Yeah, humans. Use the key on the door. Are you going to use the key on the door?

Right in and tell us. I'm sorry, the key did not work. You have five keys left. Do you use the next key or skip to the key after that? Or do you want to pay $5 to get the right key right away? Send that money to micro transactions. Micro transactions. Make a micro loan.

Is it my turn. Yeah, sure. I'd like to recommend a different kind of movie. I'm going to recommend an old movie. Forty-grat, I think so. I recommend a portal. It's a movie I made with my brother and some animals. Anyway, it's called New Bile Teams Volume 3. So I'm going to recommend a movie from 1947 called The Woman on the Beach, which is one of

the few English language American movies that John Renoir made. Is it John and Eugene Renoir? Anyway. Who the fuck cares? I mean, who the fuck cares? Anyway, it's a movie that stars Robert Ryan and John Bennett and Charles Bickford, who's one of these actors who people don't really remember, but was nominated for multiple Academy Awards in his heyday, where Robert Ryan is a-

Today is when he made it. It's a national, that's why on heyday every year, we celebrate Charles Vickford by eating hay with dumb horses. But it's about Robert Ryan as a guy who's in the Navy, who's stationed in this beach area, and he has a perfectly lovely fiance. It's a totally Betty and Veronica situation because he begins to become almost obsessively paranoid and loved with this woman played by Joan Bennett that he meets on the beach one day. And she is married to a man who was once a great painter but has gone blind.

And they're in a very toxic, codependent, torturing each other relationship. And their relationship is drawn in a pretty complicated way, especially for a 40s movie in that they definitely heard each other openly, but kind of feed off each other. And they have an understanding with each other about how painful they're going to be to each other. But they're both trying to pull away from each other while they can't. And Robert Ryan becomes kind of trapped in the wake of this toxic relationship.

Is that what a Betty and Veronica relationship is like? No, Betty and Veronica are really difficult because there's a really nice down-to-earth blonde woman who wants to marry him, but he's stuck on this weirdo dark-haired girl. Veronica is clearly the hotter. Exactly, dude. They have the same face and body with different. You settle for a bit. You settle for Veronica. Wait, which one is the dark? Right. Which one? Guys, the hot one. Which one is good at that? The only thing that makes up the difference is the rich lady. She's loaded and dove and you got to spend all your holidays with fucking Mr. Lodge.

Come on, and his little mustache. She's got that dark hair with the larger Lodge. Big brown eyes. Anyway, Robert Ryan becomes obsessed with the idea that Charles Bigford is faking his blindness and wants to try to disprove it. And it's a movie that was tampered with a lot by the studio and so it's not totally satisfying. It's not a great movie, but it's a really interesting,

good movie. And there's a dream sequence at the beginning that is so like where Robert Ryan has a nightmare where he's in a ship that explodes and he's Too close to the bottom. Yeah, no, it's a C-ship And there's a woman at the bottom of the ocean that is reaching for him and it's so Kind of primitively done special effects wise that there's something beautiful about it Like it's almost like a guy maddened type of thing in that scene except not ironically or like reaching back to some past style like that's just the way they were doing it. So it's a curious little

movie that has a lot to recommend it and it's interesting to watch and it's like 70 minutes long like it's not doesn't take a lot of time. So the woman on the beach had recommended. Well guys nailed it out of the park. Yeah, we've come into some other park. Can you go over the defensive that part? Yeah, join it. Get it? Yep, into the sand lot. No, it's the sun. Well, I guess, if we get it into the sand lot, are we the big dog that Facebook? Hey kids, are we like James Earl Jones? He was the guy, right? Yeah, he was the guy.

Yeah, the, in the sandlot. Yeah, really? He owned that big, rolled guy. I thought he was the guy who made the field of dreams. He's both guys. He's all over baseball. James Earl Jones has a rich legacy with baseball in those two movies. He's in field of baseball.

No, that's tough. No, that's tough. No, that's tough. No, that's not something like that. You miss your baseball. Was he in the field of their own? Did he? He's in the field of their own. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me.

That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me.

That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not as giant he is not mr. Payback because that was that we were robot dude Chappy payback Well, no if chappy's gonna get paid back the ad campaign's been really expensive For the flop house chappy the story of a chapstick that says to take the law into its own hands. I've been damn McCoy.

Oh, I guess I've been stewing well into them one up. And I know I'm Elliot Kaelin. I just know it and I can prove it. I can prove it. I'm him. I'm him. The man in there isn't a poster. Good night.

Yeah. Happy. Great it are. What do they think? Let's read some letters tonight. You're worth it. Tonight's the night for letters. Let's get some letters and read them. Okay. Read them and read with laughter. Letters. Welcome to Oh No Ross and Carrie.

Ross. Hi Carrie. What do you think is creepier? Okay. You jump into a swimming pool. All of a sudden, the water goes away, and instead of water, there is the bones of your dead ancestors or our show.

That's pretty tough, because we've visited a live exorcism. We joined the Ordo Templi Orientis, where we had to worship a naked lady. Oh, and we joined that Tony Alamo cold. They were scary. Super creepy. We joined the Atheri Society. We tried penis enlargement or at least the high dead. Oh boy, I tried breast enlargement. We have basically done every creepy weird fringe thing except for thousands more, which we will get to if you listen to our show. I'd still say the swimming pool of my ancestors bones. Well,

now you know if people would listen. I guess they shouldn't. But if you want to, we're at maximum fun, then this show is called an arosic and carry.