The Flop House - Ep. #179 - Mortdecai

Episode Date: May 30, 2015

Hoo boy does Johnny Depp certainly have a mustache in Mortdcai!  Meanwhile Dan reads copy off a beer for some reason, Elliott invites George Lucas to stop by, and Stuart recommends a surprising film.Movies recommended in this episode:Mad Max: Fury RoadNeed for SpeedStuart Wellington mystery recommendation

On this episode of the podcast we discuss Mordeky Oh, I saw posters for that movie Yeah, Johnny Depp's in it and he has a mustache and he's in the movie on the poster and it's called Mordeky and Johnny Depp is in it with a mustache on the poster The movie's called Mordeky Who's in it? Mr. John Depp And what's he wearing?

Mustache on the face Name of the movie? Mordeky I haven't seen it. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey guys, I'm Stuart. Can opening sound. I'm Elliot Kaelin. I'm sorry, I stepped on your last name Stuart, which is Wellington. I wish you guys at home could see the way that Stewart and girls the the pregnant pause as Stewart waited for his chance to say his name so he could open his Modella Modelo sorry

Modelo I Don't know to be offended by that or important and important fear and important fear. Dan is literally he's too for to in misreading what it says on Stuart's beer can. Oh, oh, Mo Delo is an important beer. Well, I should give it a good seat in my restaurant. Dan, you have a way from the kitchen. You have a 100% perfect rendered in mispronouncing beer text.

If this was an eye test at a car, you failed. Surveysa, especially out of it. It's pretty good. I can do it better in Spanish. Are you sure it's Spanish or native language? I eat a meat. I don't know. So no, is what you say? We hear a lot of body acting there, people listening.

Yeah, I'm doing food. Knowing it's an audio podcast that he's been doing for what, eight years now, decided to do an exaggerated shrug since what we would hear the air currents passing over your shoulders. I'm creating a theater of the mind. passing over your shoulders. I'm creating a theater of the mind. Yep. There's an audio space that is being heard and sent. Yeah, and it's all between your ears.

Whoa. Wait, we're in a haunted house of some kind. Yeah, I'm just making a theater. No theater is completely a haunted house chain. A whole theater of the mind. So what do we do on this podcast? Apparently, we just say junk. We watch a bad movie. And then we talk about it. How do we talk about it?

Quickly with a lot of digressions and some jokes. Okay, that sounds pretty fun. We probably summarize the movie. Yeah, it's all right. I'll take one please. I'll ride this podcast. Okay, we'll all want you to take a seat right there. You got it sitting down. You want to start your napkin on your lap. You might get a little bit of splatter on you. Okay, I don't know why I just started my nap. I like my napkin, my lap.

I'll just strap myself in right now. And so I get wet on his right. Yeah, your napkin's there. Yeah, my napkin's on my lap. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn I don't care if you die. This is just a job to me. This is for you. Is this the ride? It just get a views? Yeah, this is the ride. It's for people to get off of you.

I'd like to get off this ride, please. Unstrap me. No, you signed up for the entire podcast. We'll unstrap you in about how long is this podcast like two hours long? Yeah, yeah, sometimes. Well, okay, so we're talking about a movie we did a long show. So Dan, so it's a long podcast for podcast fans.

It's not a day. The day cool show. Yeah, the day the cool show. The day cool. It's a cool show. It's a cool who just, it really likes to get a sun tan. It's a daytime show for ghouls. It's like Alan, the ghoul dances up the aisles,

dances down the aisles, interviews, Kristen Bell or something. Anyway, so Dan yeah that's me what I know that name what movie do we watch on this bad movie podcast watched Mordecai it's about Johnny Depp and his most yeah the movies about Johnny Depp yeah it's a bio who plays Johnny Depp in this movie day great of pulse right I mean I'd buy it. Gender blind casting. It's interesting.

It's a switching up. It's, they both beaten and found. They both beaten and found. Yeah. It's like that vice versa. It's like that song. Two peas in a fountain. No, that's about the game of P knock-off.

When you're playing it over a fountain, and the peas fall in. Okay. So Mordecai is a comedy, right? Yup. I'm cold. Now, here's, this seems to have been, so this was made, we should say, was directed by David Kep, is that how it's pronounced?

Well, we all like, I think. Well, to a great start. Yeah. I like a lot of his stuff. His previous movie was Premium Rush, right? One of his previous movies. I don't know if it's his last, right? That was the last one before.

I like that a lot. Yeah, I got a kick out of that. Mm hmm. Michael Shannon is very funny in that movie. Yep. Yep. A lot of, uh, a lot of good, New York, New York, New York geography is somewhat accurate. Yeah, that's an interesting thing in a movie. You really see a movie that takes that much care and actually getting the geography of a city down. Mm hmm. Uh, yeah, it's a post-pounding post pulse pounding through a ride for the senses that's as funny as it is heartbreaking. Anyway, it's heartbreaking. So that's premium rush, but we're watching Mordeky.

And so this is based on... This is not a premium rush. This is supposed to be based on some kind of... It's a great plenty of rush available. This is the budget rush. Not premium, yeah, rush available. This is the budget rush. Not premium, yeah, readily available. This is the sort of rush that they give to students and prisoners.

Okay. So it's not the kind of rush that- Telling comments on the rush distribution system in our country. Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that. It's like Eric Schlosser's book, Rush Food Nation. You make this harder for us to do to end.

How am I doing that? I'm just doing the normal gibberish. Yeah, I know. Yeah, but it's somehow gibrier. So let's talk about what this movie's about. So it's based on a some series of English comedy novels, which seem to be themselves kind of like violent, loosely, jeeps and wooster type things. And Johnny Depp plays an unscrupulous art dealer, Lord Charlie Mordeky, who has a curled up mustache

that he just grew. There's only one, that is a huge plot point. Yeah, there's a couple flashbacks to his mustache list before but everyone feels the need to comment on his mustache. His mustache has a fucking arc in this movie. Yeah, that's true. It's really a central conflict of the film. Yeah, the mustache has a lot more character

than many of the characters in the movie. But we're introduced to him in a kind of knockoff of the opening of Temple of Doom, where he is trading a vase. He hopes for money to a Chinese art buyer, Asian. I mean, I think it's keeping in the sensitivity Chinese art buyer, Asian. I mean, I think it's keeping in the sensitivity of Mordekai that we don't know exactly what ethnicity this character is.

Well, they're in Hong Kong, so I'm guessing it's Chinese, but. But things almost go bad. This is a guy he's swindled in the past, this Hong Kong gangster, and they're gonna cut off Mordekai's finger, but luckily he's saved by his man servant, Jock, played home at me what's the for what's the full name of this character uh... jock

wait you know the full name the full name of this character is get ready to hold your sides why are you some gonna shoot me and put me i'm holding on your sides will prevent the bullet from getting my holding onto a side of beef because it might fall down and get dirty with... It is... Jock... Strap.

Oh, okay. That's the character's name. I don't think that's ever said... Strap. I think it's ever said in the movie though. No, it's never said that if they said in the movie, people would laugh so hard. They'd die.

They just explode. Yeah, their brains would say like, I got it, man. Just explode, yeah. Their socks would be knocked off with such force that they would propel themselves through the movie goer in front of them. Killing them.

And they'd be a big hole. Socks in the movie. Going with lost the sock, the sock would burst off. Yeah, the force would leave their feet shredded and tatters. Just mangled bones. It's a double homicide from what point. Yeah, they would slam their knees so hard as to literally knock the kneecap off of their leg tearing the flesh bleeding

And the cap would go spinning into the air and several people would misreport it as a UFO. Yeah, I said Mass hysteria would rock the nation and the government would fall apart the tickling of the funny bone would occur at such force that the Human body would vibrate to the point of blood leaking out of every poor to just liquefacation. So that's what would happen if you knew his name was jockstrap, but he is he's played by Paul Bettany and he's kind of a combination bodyguard man servant. He's like a Brock Samson. Yeah, he's Brock Samson plus a little bit of kato from the Pink Panther movies, plus Jeves from Jeves and Worcester. Like there's that he's kind of all-service thing, and I'm just going to go out on a limb and say right now, I really enjoyed this character a lot. He is one of these characters who is always very subservient to his boss, even though he's

clearly smarter than him and better than him at everything, but he's very protective of his boss. And the one thing I don't like about him is they gave him the character trade of the ladies love him and he's always having sex with ladies and it feels like it makes the character jealous. Well certainly of course as any as I would of any man who is just catnip to ladies since I am what's the opposite catnet what drives cats away um daughter citrus they don't like the smell of citrus. I'm like a, like a water bottle

for a change being shaken. Sure. To cats. Or like just being sprayed, a water bottle being sprayed at a cat to ladies. Fire, they don't like fire either. Yeah, yeah, like a flame thrower. But the dogs, I feel like it makes some dogs.

It depends. Yeah, it makes some dogs. It's like the animal friends of the internet that were pretty adorable. I think it's, there's, it of the animal friends on the internet that were pretty adorable. I think it's, it's funnier to me for a character to be super competent, but not getting any respect. That's true.

Then to see a character who's super competent, also a ladies man, and yet for no reason chooses to stay with his stupid boss. You know, it's funnier to me if he is devoted to his boss and doesn't realize almost how much better he is. But that's in the Jeeves and Worcester tradition though. Was Jeeves constantly getting fucking ladies? Well, no, we don't know his success rate with ladies.

I'm going to bet that maybe PJ would have won that one. PJ Woodhouse wrote them under his pseudonym, penis giant woodhouse with Woodspell W-O-O-D. Was O'Line a t-shirt, right? Yeah, well they were called, yeah, it's called JeeO-O-D. Where was it? It was a line of t-shirts, right? Yeah, it was called, yeah, it's called, Jeaves and Wooster. I'm just saying that. Where he was woosting all the ladies. It's the same situation

where a hypercompetent character is serving a less than competent character. No, I like that set up a lot. I just don't like the constant lady banging. Yeah. Because it feels like the more this character is rewarded for its competency, the less funny or the less funny it is to me. Yeah.

The same way that like, jeez and Worcester would stop being funny to me if like jeez became rich. Did that ever happen? No. I mean, like, I mean, that was very, very sweet. Yeah, you win the lottery or something? Like jeez won the lottery or like, if it turned out- Like in Roseanne or-

Like in that final season, Roseanne, when when Jim Varney showed up, is that English Duke? Well, that was very, yeah. Teams and Wister is a very is very specifically a play on like the class system showing the supposed lower class being more competent than the upper class. Let me hear in Mordekai. It doesn't necessarily translate. There's a little bit of that, but not quite as much. Yeah. A couple wacky guys being wacky together. Anyway, they go back to London. Anyway, they go back to London. Like wacky guys do.

Yep, they go back to London. I would describe this movie as wacky, you're right. It is wacky. Matt Kip, it's a Zany Rom. This is very much in the style of those 60s Zany Romps that they made. Cassena Royale, what's new? What's new? Basically like almost every movie Peter Sellers made that when you watch it, you're like,

oh, this isn't very good. like it's in the style of those movies Al's topless whatever that I love you Al's be topless. Yeah, which is a party very like the party swinging 60s swinging Mags Mads 60s 60s swinging so high and so low Swinging all the way around the way set. Wow, that's pretty swinging. So they try to emulate that by not having jokes.

But I would say with having, it's an over-the-top cartoonish style. Having the costumes more interesting than anything said by any character. Yes, but I'm gonna go on. Having cameos by stars who would then exit the movie very quickly huge stars of yesterday like Jeff

Stars Yeah, the golden age of Hollywood and Jeff Goldbloom Former husband of Marlena D. Trayne Jeff silver bloom. I'm sorry. You have placed and you will receive the Jeff bronze bloom Why don't even enter the competition? I don't know, but you can enjoy this performance of Jeff Goldblum playing jazz piano, which is something he does, with the hand of a fly. Now, now, let's talk a little bit of the plot and then I'm going

to tell you a shotgun secret that I have about this movie. Okay. So they,, so they, they, they extricate themselves from trouble. They go back to London. They're just doing it. Mordeky's wife Joanna, play the play by Gwyneth Paltrow, does not like his new mustache.

And every time, every time she tries to kiss him, she gags, which makes him gag. It is a gag that is not funny and makes the audience gag. They are deeply in debt because they're a bunch of drunk layabouts. He's, Mordekai is kind of like an incompetent Nick Charles. He's like a drunken party boy of the mustache who is not good at his job as opposed to Nick Charles who gets better at solving crimes than more he drinks and gets less funny, the less he drinks in the later movies. And she's a less ditty nor Charles who solves everything for her husband.

I don't think that's, oh wait, no, in this movie, she solves the, oh okay. I thought you said that they're saying that thin man movies. No, in the thin man movies, they are, and they're fairly equal partners. Nick is probably more like that. Nick is the one who solves the crime.

There's always a part of the end where Nora is like, mm, just explain to me who did it and he's playing it out. But here's the story. You and McGregor, a government. You and McGregor's in this. He is, which means. Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The man who originated the role of Obi-Wan Kenobi. The man everyone thinks of. And the word Obi-Wan Kenobi. And took over Alec Guinness's role in train spotting. You and McGregor. I've owned myself addicted to heroin. and took over Allick Guinness's role in train spotting. You and McGregor. I've owned myself addicted to heroin. That's my kind of little putty in Allick Guinness.

Yeah, I've got a bit of a... Luke. It's a suppository. What? Transpotting. Anyway, it's called Jedi spotting. It's like transpotting, but they're all Jedi's, but they're still strung out on heroin.

Okay. Why do you think they turn to the eyes, but they're still throwing out on heroin. Okay. Why do you think they turn to the dark side? They didn't even do death sticks. You just do an heroin. They go straight to heroin. They go straight to heroin. Yeah. Because the force is such a high, you need a really hard drug to beat it. You have so many many chlorines in your body.

You need something really hard. Oh, okay. You just even feel, just even to get to zero. Just to reach normal. Just to get well, you're less than zero when you're a Jedi, less than zero. So they're in debt. You're in the hood. Zero the hood. That's the version of stores where they digitally erase the job of the hood. And it's just, and it's just they're talking to an empty pedestal. Yep. So, gracious Chrome is sitting on an air. Yes. There's just a hat for some reason.

What's the original job of wearing a hat? It was the sequel. Never noticed. Sequel to the other famous George Lucas Erasing film Zero the Greek, where they removed Anthony Quinn from all the scenes. It's George Lucas's art project from his THX1138 days. Well, he said, with the special editions, I added in a lot of nonsense shit in the backgrounds. I know I tried to remove something necessary to the scenes as a way of taking it in the opposite direction.

You see, as an artist, I have to always be revolutionizing myself. You're an experimenter, pure film. All right right George. I guess you got all the money. Do whatever you want. Why not? You're a billionaire. Genius. Genius. Name. Newt Gunray. That's a great name. No. I took the original print of Castle Blanca and I replaced Rick with Jar Jar. I replaced Rick with a potted orchid. Just to save anyone to tell the difference. It turns out they could.

The orchid failed to have the charisma of Humphrey Bogart at his finest. And are placed Peter Laurie with kind of a small owl. Now that was harder to, that was harder for people to start. When the owl screeched, sounded like Peter Laurie screeching. Now again, when I replaced Claude Reigns, the most Peter Laurie like of the birds of

prey. When I replaced Claude Reigns with this collectible glass for the picture of Grimmis from the McDonald's cast on it, again, people noticed. It was very hard to believe that the Grimmace glass was making women sleep with him in order to get out of it to get to get a castle blanket. But at the end, it was quite touching when the grimace glass and the potted orchid walked through the fog, talking about the friendship they're going to have. Because despite their differences, one, of course, being a flower and the other being a collectible

glass, they can be friends. You think you really struck on something about George Lucas is his craziness is level. Even when he does things that are totally wrong, there's something appealing about him. There's something kind of like puppy dogish about him in his flammable shirts and his high-pitched voice and his love of old hot rods. Yeah, CGI haircut. Yeah. Now, again, when I replaced Sinegreen Street Street with a Teddy Roxpin, harder to tell the difference. Many people thought that I had actually

improved the performance. Who George? Who thought that? The makers of Teddy Roxpin. Mr. Theodore Roxpin. Oh, I forgot that in Flophouse, what is Teddy Roxpin? He's like son. Well, much as Frankenstein's monster is now known as Frankenstein. Yeah, Teddy Rucksman, he couldn't have a child, so created this monstrous robot bear. Now, but I forgot that in flop house, Laura, Teddy Rucksman is the son of Alan Ruck and a female bear.

So go back to whatever episode that was in Labor Day. There's a Labor Day. I think so. The Alan Ruckstuff was in labor. It's all stories. He taught it. He gave it the magic power of being able to repeat the words on cassette tapes shoved into its butt. They called it Teddy Butspin. You're putting them in the wrong place. The Teddy Ruckstuff didn't seem to mind. Anyway, we're not really into the movie. Here, let's do the plot fast.

There's a secret painting by previously unseen painting by Francisco Goya, the famous painter, which has been stolen in the murder of being entrepreneur. You have a founder of the Bean Empire. Go Goya. They used to shout at him, the bullies, as they taunted him and he said, I'll show you, I'll make that a sign of pride. You won't have to soak your chickpeas anymore, thanks to me. I wish, I was Jupiter and you were my children,

so I can devour, oh it's not Jupiter, it's a, Kronos, right? Who devoured his children? Yes. Yeah, I wish I was Kronos and you were my children, so I can devour you, hasn big that's like oh that's true Jupiter was known to kill chronos Mm-hmm because chronos couldn't tell the difference between a god and to rock and swallow

Exactly, let me tell you I don't know how cronos made it to stay on top for so long. Mm-hmm now There's this boy at painting. It was stolen in the murder of an art store You look reggaer is with MI5 and he believes that an international terrorist named... My five! You're welcome, guys. Thanks. Thanks, reminding us of the worst catchphrase

of what the first decade of the 20th century. Never has a movie gone from, I think this is the cutting edge of comedy too, please stop now. In my, so fast in my mind, this Borat did. I saw this is the cutting edge of comedy too, please stop now. In my, so fast in my mind, this Borat did. I saw it when it opened and I was like, that was great. And then I heard the catch phrase,

I think for three straight days, and I was like, this movie sucks. We're good. Anyway, they think this terrorist has stolen it so that he can, I don't know, salad or something. Mordecai agrees to get it in exchange for having, I guess his debt to the country wiped out and 10% of the insurance money or something.

Anyway, Mordecai goes all over the place, gets into a lot of crazy shenanigans. There's a shootout out of car garage. There is... There were some jokes there. There's a meeting between Gwyneth Paltrow and a guy named the Duke who played the bad guy in last crusade, which means the main bad guy. I mean, he's a Nazi, dude. How bad do they get?

There's a major bad guy in his lead bad guy in last crusade. He's the guy who was in that tank and there's that weird like push in on his face as he goes over the cliff in the tank. You go over a cliff in a tank. Your face is going gonna be crazy. I'm sure. You're gonna get a case of what they call crazy face. It was also a Dick Tracy villain.

Goring, was that his name? I could have been. Yeah, Herman Gering was his name, and he was a much bigger guy than in the movie. Anyway, but he's also a returning flopp house actor, it turns out. And this movie, like many of the actors in this movie in this movie is full of returning flopphouse faves Johnny Depp Paul Betney who's been in three or four flop house movies this week went for Gweneth Paltrow and of course Michael burn as the Duke and uh

Jim Bloom and guess what flop house movie he was in you'll never guess because I forgot we did it, and I forgot the movie existed. Blood the last vampire. That was Jeff Goldblum in a previous flop house movie. Dan, not that I know of. Okay, first time. Check the archives. He and the new director, first timers. Yeah, we a couple first timers. We'll be gentle with them. And Olivia Munn, who's also a flop house first timer.

Okay. So, it the... Vogel was his name. Vogel. Vogel, like a bird. And he was very vocal when he fell off that cliff going, ah! Anyway, so the painting apparently has written on the back of it a bank account in which a Nazi big wig, I forgot it was gearing I think, put still, it was a garbals.

It was a garbals? It's one of the big name Nazis. One of your name- One of your A- Those gobbles. Those are gobbles? It's one of the big name Nazis. One of your name- One of your Nazis. Not one of your brand ex-vogal Nazis. One of your name brand marquee Nazis. Like a Nazi that could open a picture. Not Nazi.

Yeah. Top Nazi. I remember when I was a college student, I was so poor all I could afford was top Nazi. Right. I mean, it's so cheap. You just add water and you heat it up a little bit. Yeah. Taste it terrible.

You use water. I just poured the flavor bag of it inside, smash it up and ate it like that. Not too bits. Again, one of the worst cereals of all time. You got little swastikas, little skulls, little moustaches. No marshmallows at all. No, because it was the city in practical for working on play. It was called, it's at breakfast and mocked fry. Anyway, let's stop with the Nazi joke, shall we?

Mordeky is kidnapped by a bunch of Russians who want it to find out where the painting is, Jock saves it. Do you have that great open-your-balls joke? Mordeky almost gets his testicles electrocuted and the Russian thugs tell him to open his balls. Open your balls joke morticae almost gets his testicles electrocuted and he uh... the russian thugs help to open his balls and your balls and he doesn't know it and there was a line that i thought was funny where they're escaping and morticae says to jok

open your balls what does that means like i don't know sir uh... really what i have no idea what i don't know sirs do you really know and you just don't want to tell me yes sir like that i'm and here's my secret that I'm going to reveal. I think I kind of like this movie. It was so dumb and not very funny, but when it was funny, it was funny in a way that I was like, okay, I found that genuinely funny. And for I was not as bored as I was watching 50 Shades of Grey, for instance, because at least it's a colorful looking movie. It usually moves fast.

And at times it's hard r rating. And well, I mean, they say the f-word a couple times. That's about it. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. It's a soft r. Mm-hmm. Like, the r is made out of butter left out on a counter for hours to keep it soft.

Like the French girls do. Oh. Uh, so, you, McGregor's character wants to win over Gwyneth Paltrow's character. He's always been in love with her and in college Mordeky stole her from him. Yeah, there's that great flashback with Spin Doctor Song. That was a good joke, yes.

To place it in the 90s, two princesses playing in the background. But, uh. Which in this movie feels like an anachronism because this movie exists out of time. Yeah, well, it exists nowadays, but everyone kind of acts like it's the 60s. And this isn't one of those Austin Powers types,

you know, these things. Yeah, I think I got those in. Like a gold member is gonna show up, right? Yeah, yeah. A gold bloom shows up though. One of those gold members. Speaking of which, they go to Los Angeles, sent by MI5, where they stay in a trendy hotel

where everyone has moustaches. In a scene that almost is a joke that is a joke uh... they are meet Jeff Goldblum whose roles Royce Carr has the painting inside it and also Jeff Goldblum's is it his wife or his daughter his daughter played my liviamon who is a sex fiend and you know she's a sex fiend because she's named Georgina if you're named Georgina in a movie or a sex feed really What other movie Georgina's I think head of the family is the only other one I could they have

The limited is it's a very unsexy name. Yeah, it's not like your sample size is very small Like Veronica. I haven't seen that movie's dude. Yeah, well like what's another sexy name like Sapphire yeah Super classy. Yeah, do you all think for a thief or is she a sex spot or is she the jewel? Yeah. Yeah. There's no reason she has to choose. Sure. Well, Regina seems like an awkward attempt to turn a man's name into a woman's name. Well, that's what it was. Yeah. Felicia is a sexy name for a cat. Yeah, it's the name George Lucas. He's how about four of us? is a sexy name. Like, you can't really.

Yeah, that's the name George Lucas, he's a net forum. When it says age, age, sex location. I'm Georgina, age 22, sex, female, location, skywalk, or ranch. When he's undercover, he's like, are you George Lucas? No, no, I'm Georgina Lucicia. I'm a 22 year old hottie. I'm my mistake. My, uh, else. Except I could use computers to add more clothes later, if that's what you're into. Do you like hot rods?

Do you enjoy collecting Norman Rockwell paintings? It's a deep cut for George Lucas. Anyway, there's a whole lot of shenanigans that I'm going to use. I'm going to use a lot of black and white, and I'm going to use a lot of black and white. Do you like hot rods? Do you enjoy collecting Norman Rockwell paintings? That's a deep cut for George Lucas. Anyway, there's a whole lot of shenanigans.

There's a big party at Jeff Goldblum's house. He and during it, Jock and... That's all we have. Jock, a famous party animal, Jeff. Party animal, Goldblum. I was trying to think of something that run with Jeff and I couldn't think of anything. Jeffrey G bloom Jeff

Half gold bloom they call that because he's like a Hugh half-nuretimes, too Check my head Did not like that because they cannot see at home Why you're catching up? Well you realize that finally? How come you didn't know the beginning of the episode Mr. Shrugs learning Shrugs Mackenzie over here learning curve. Shrugs, Mackenzie over here. Nancy and Shruggo over here. Shrugs, bunny.

Hey, I got one. Shrugs, Meanie. I love that. Yeah, that's all right. I don't know if I didn't do it. So, Jack and Mordekyre are gonna steal the painting during the party. Uh-oh, Quinnith Paltrow shows up. She had a big argument with Mordekyre are going to steal the painting during the party. Uh-oh.

When it's Palpros shows up, she had a big argument with Mordekyre earlier about his mustache. Shows up while he's being seduced through dance by Georgina. It's not what it looks like. He goes with, and he gets out of that situation pretty easily. He and Jack go to steal the painting, but it's already been stolen and Jeff Goldblum has been killed. After two scenes. He has about two and a half scenes of the movie, one of which he is dead in it is a waste put him on the poster.

I gotta say and when compared to Jeff Goldblum death scenes not as good as Gran Budapest hotel or the fly. What about when he dies and earth girls are easy? He doesn't. He does die and earth girls are he got telling murdered by alien honors. I think you're thinking of Jurassic Park the book in which he dies, not the movie, which he doesn't. I didn't know Jeff Goldblum was in the book. Yeah, yeah. He lays himself in the book.

The thing is, people they invite to the opening are the Sam Neill, the paleontologist, Alan Grant. Okay. Also, the mathematician Ian Wodevers' name is. Mick Durman, let's say. And Ian Malcolm. Ian McDurman. And Jeff Goldblum's say. And Ian Malcolm. And Jeff. Ian McDermott.

And Jeff Goldblum, who is following Ian Malcolm around, because he's going to play him in a movie called Jurassic Park about the successful opening of the Jurassic Park. The movie is going to be called Jurassic World. How many raptors are in it, Elliot? Like 40 billion. And they all look super fake. Jurassic girls are easy. And it's about a guy who's having sex with the dinosaur.

They're so easy. Yeah, because they're not actually that easy. Yeah, they're animals. Yeah, they're adorable. You gotta drug them up. You're very careful, are you gonna be ripped apart because they're trying to have sex with them? Because they're clever girls.

Yeah, there you go. You got it. Okay, let's go on. Let's go on, let's go on. So they try to find the painting, they find it. It turns out Georgina's in Kahoot's with a terrorist. They track them down to a hotel.

And Yuna Greger burns the painting rather than letting it. And it's financial secrets fall into the hands of a bad guy, a terrorist who's gonna use it to fund his terrorism. But then it turns out that painting was a fake. It turns out the Nazi from Laskosate had the real one in his bathroom the whole time.

They the mortgai is steel it and they are gonna get it by putting it up for auction to get money to pay off their debts and they're gonna hide it as a painting they have. But then actually sell the painting. They have when they think they're selling the famous painting to the bad guys. Let's just say this. There's a lot of nonsense at an auction house. Does it make us forget the auction scene in North mind Northwest? Certainly not. But it might be right up there with the auction scene in Vincent and Theo, which is very boring because it's just footage of an actual auction. This movie desperately wants to be a screw ball comedy and it has this like the switchbacks of a screw ball comedy, and it has the switchbacks of a screw ball comedy, but it does not.

Yeah, because it's a steep hill. It does not make us care about any of it. Well, I mean, it just turns into convoluted. It doesn't even necessarily have to care, or be able to keep track. I'll say that there are a lot of funny screw ball comedies or forces, where if you were asked what happened two scenes ago to make this happen, you'd be like, what? I don't know, but while you're following it, it makes some sort of logic. What are you asking me? There's in the middle of a movie. I'm trying to finish watching noises off. Can you please stop bothering me? It doesn't have the cracker jack plotting

that a real screwball has. Yeah, there no cracker jacks. It's just complicated. It's certainly not screwballs. No. The famous screwballs, not screwballs. It does not end with a freeze of like a topless lady. It's not a freeze. You get to see it blowing in the wind. Let's see it blowing in the wind. It being what? A woman's bosoms.

That here deep-ermalized to it. Famed feminist. You're well-known. He's the word bosoms. It's pretty much just, it's glorious. He didn't call him like, like, just this gets to something. Stuart Wellington. Now, so they, in the end, Mordecai wins and his wife wins, hooray. They get enough money to pay off their back taxes.

Everything's okay. Mordecai is going to shave off his mustache, win back his wife, and sheay, they get enough money to pay off their back taxes, everything's okay. Mordecai is going to shave off his mustache, win back his wife, and she says, you know what, keep it, the fact that you were willing to shave it off for me is enough, and they have a bath together. She tries to kiss him and she gags, and then Mordecai gags. The end. And then the audience gags with laughter.

Well, it's a little... It's a little... So I'm going to say this, not a good movie not not that enjoyable, but I kind of liked it Yeah, wait are we into the final judgments already? You're the boss. I don't know what else did you want to say about it? I feel like you kind of are let's just go to it because you know what we're gonna say. What do you say? I mean I was I'm anything I was gonna say we could say it in Happy they didn't play that smash mouth song at any point Oh, I will say the music was too loud and crazy. Yeah, they're making mouse and I chit all over the place.

Yeah, they were making mouse sing it up. So let's do final judgments. Do do do do do do do do do do do. Cousplash. Was this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie you kind of liked? Elliot kind of liked it. I'm on record kind of like I'm a shanked say. I'm a shanked word guy.

But I have to be throw that shit on the poster. Look, as Robert Worshaw said in the immediate experience I must admit that I am a man watching a film having an in a non-conscious reaction to the film kind of liked it Here's what I'll say about the poster kind of liked it. Ellie you can't let me flop out You should all say about the movie the movie board me for huge long stretches of it People can people can attest. Yeah, the two people can attest. Two people in the room. Who can name them all? Who has the time? I'll leave in Stuart can attest. I spent a fair amount of the movie staring at my phone because I got uninterested in the machinations of the plot. There were too many

double choruses and switching them up. And you're switching Rooney. Yeah, Mandy Rooney is a leader. So Mickey Rooney isn't I didn't like the mechanics of the plot board me, but I kind of enjoyed that there were a bunch of good actors giving their all to some really shitty material. That's the thing, nobody in them, it's not great material, but nobody in the movie is sleeping through it and nobody's half-assing it. They are, yeah, they're really good.

I feel like all the actors and the director are giving it their all and the script is terrible. There are a few funny lines in the script, but yeah, mostly it's're really good. I feel like all the actors and the director are giving it there all and the script is terrible There are a few funny lines in the script. Yeah, mostly it's not very good But that's an interesting experience and like if you have any fondness for terrible comedies of the 60s Which I don't really but I kind of do because they're they baffle me so much look I stare at them and my brain tries to wrap them Like my brain rejects well We're watching it.

But your brain is like, oh, I can't know. This is in the form of comedy, but nothing is funny. I don't understand. Well, we were watching it. We were talking about the scene in the original casino royale where he has to match strengths with the Scottish clansmen. And it's totally boring and long and not funny,

but it goes on forever. Or there's the little car race at the end of what's a pussycat, you know, a what's new pussycat. Yeah. And it where it's like, this is not funny. And it's going on forever. For forever. And the movie seems to be wanting to tell me that this is funny.

Even funny comedies from the 60s, even like, like good pink pant their movies have long stretches that are just like interminable, like what is going on? Why is this on? Why am I being forced to watch this? Just for like, the 15 minutes of this movie where Peter Sellers is gonna be hilarious. So.

I mean, I like more of those movies than I think you do. No, I didn't know. I look, look. I'm just saying that, like, shot in the dark is the only one that's really solid and then like, people are gonna be up and down. I like, I like, we're turn to the ping-pant, we're a lot, too. Yeah.

But anyway, what I'm gonna say is Panther a lot. Yeah, but anyway, what I'm going to say is from scene to scene, it alternated between bad, bad movie and movie kind of like to keep going back and forth. So that's what my feeling is. Stewart. Yeah, I guess I'm with you more with you, Dan than Elliot. There was, you know, there's a couple jokes I like that in general. It was it was not tight enough for me to give it a movie I kind of like. No, look, am I ever gonna watch this movie again? No. You're not gonna go by it?

No, I'm not gonna run out. I'm not gonna go by the blue ray. I'm not gonna watch the R-rated version and not the PG-13 rated cut that you can also worry. Now, which was- I was more like a head-suffer. But that's the thing is, I think- I think, I think like a head up there. That's a thing is I think I think I think like a 13 year old

might enjoy a D sexed version of this more than an adult. Yeah, I mean, there's like what like who's Harry Crumb? Because this was too erotic. Yeah. And it's current who's Harry Crumb? Who is Harry Crumb? It's a regular delirious. It's a regular second sight.

It's all like that in the morning. Every second sight. Yeah, it's a regular second side. It's all like better than mortis. Every second side. It's a regular doctor Detroit. That movie. He's weird. That movie baffled me. How did that movie get made? Like, an egg-roid plays like a robot.

He's like a pig. He's like a pig. He'll make bib. Yeah. A pimp superhero. I don't understand. Look, you can't in a world power has been in it in a universe where nothing's trouble exists. I can't ask

why any other movie was ever made in a room in a world in a universe in a multiverse where someone saw the script for nothing but trouble. It was like, yeah, I would pay to have this made. We're kind of what kind of idiot God would allow this like as a soft dancing to the mad sounds of Blind Piper's What what tribulation did he seek to visit upon humanity? Yeah, so we all agree more guy was fantastic. Oh, yeah, yeah a plus plus plus plus I agree, Morka, I was fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, A plus plus plus. Hello, I'm Tucker, the Elephant Magician.

Moral high church here, the master of clerical magic. I'm Magnus Burnside, it's the fighter. Did you guys like that? Did you, the listener like that? You were just swept up in a world of high fantasy magic where anything can happen and anything is possible. I am Griffin McRoy, Dungeon Master for the Adventure Zone, a new podcast on Maximum Fun,

in which magic and mystery intertwine for a very erotically charged, role-playing experience. You can catch it every other Thursday, here on MaximumFun.org or IT. It's Dungeons & Dragons, but with family. Moving on to letters from listeners. You know why not?

That's the traditional next segment in the show. Yeah, yeah, as the legend tells, past down generation for generation of letters. And the first letter. There is a prophecy. A prophecy of missives from the outside, what the elders call the wasted land. Two poisonous from after the new war, for regular

travelers to voyage across. And yet strange communications from intelligences unknown are received by the last surviving members of humanity known as the House of the flopping in. The House of the flopping in where the three of the flopping in, where the three now elderly survivors and caretakers of the memory of humanity sit in ancient silence. Too frightened to speak for fear of being interrupted by one of the other two. And low the prophecy foretells that a message shall be received, a youth shall be discovered, and a new world aborn in the aftertimes.

After the cataclysm of the new war, there came people, the flock people of mighty tribe, a massive tribe, a wise tribe. The flock people spreading the gospel of flock.A.R.A.R.P across the wasteland to mutants and ghosts, and zombies, and skeletons, and aliens, and robots, and gator men, and ant people, and bare dogs. Is this a Kong Compass? All right, all right. Just a few more ladders.

Yeah. Lavendright non-sheets of white. Just trash. We're from rock. Introduction to. That actual rose. That's actual rose. That's not a simulation. That's like something like your grandma is like,

stew it. I got you that actual Rose album you wanted and it's just a photo album of extra roses Grandma it's was the actual Rose who cuts roses. Oh, I got it your age. I don't think so So this first letter This is clearly in Response to something that we said in a previous episode that I can't remember. Every loss through the same. But it's time.

The minute Dan says, recording over, I click, drag my memories to the recycle bin and delete. Yes, I don't know what specifically this was in reference to, but it was interesting enough on its own that I was going to read it. It goes like this, Jints, although Godzilla has never fought either Frankenstein or Frankenstein's monster. Well, well, well. Let's just say right here, in Frankenstein Conqueror's the world,

Frankenstein's monster fights Baragon. Well, hold on, we're getting there. Okay. He got closer than you expect. Okay, there you go. Thanks, letter, right? During 1960, Miriam C. Cooper actually tried to sell Toho on a movie where King Kong would fight a Frankenstein style monster

This is this somehow more metamorphicized into King Kong fighting Godzilla and Godzilla versus King Kong Which in Japan was actually mostly a weird working-class comedy with monsters in it Then to how I like that idea Frankenstein Cockers the world okay, we're not the scientists attempt to take the heart of Frankenstein's monster to Japan Unfortunately for Japan they take the heart to Hiroshima where it is it radiated when the allies bomb the city This obviously results in the heart regenerating into a giant dude to then fight some monster called barrigan Okay, thank you barrigan would go on to fight alongside Godzilla against King Gidora and destroy monsters Yeah, yeah also Frankensteinize monsters sort of ended up splitting

into two giant Harry twins who fought one another. They're worth a gargantuanse. Although that is not terribly relevant here. So by the transit of property, Godzilla has not only fought Franksize monster. He's done it twice. Also, Toho has made some absurd movies. Yours and Flop launched last name with Elv.

I've seen all those movies and I love them all. When I was a kid, I watched the Godzilla movies almost in order over and over again. Yeah. Yeah, I loved them. I'd even sit to the boring talkie scenes because I knew guys in monster suits were going to be punched in each other on tiny city sets. I know he's get up early talking scenes and leave. I mean, that's a good way to do it.

We're like, like build a Ford out of Legos. Uh, a Ford for my leg, man, not for me. Or you and those twins were on. The Mothra twins? Yeah, Mothra twins. They ain't out saying things. That falls under the boring category. Seeing a beautiful song that went,

Masoraya, Masoraya. Hanankatta, Guya, Inaru. I don't know the actual words. it's just my transliteration. That's a lullaby used for your baby. I totally should. I didn't even think about that. Well, that's the song they sing to get Mothra, to calm them down and everything. So here's what I'm going to say about that.

Also, I just finished watching the other day, the new version of Godzilla, which I missed when I was in the theaters, didn't care for it. Newed version of Godzilla. Well, all versions of Godzilla are nude. He never wears clothes. I didn't like that new Godzilla movie, and I was really looking forward to it. Yeah. I liked it, okay.

I found the human plot line uninteresting, and I found the new monster, uninspiring. All right. Okay. Also, is it just me or the Godzilla get kind of fat? That was a chunky Godzilla. Yeah. Chubs. The internet went crazy about that.

They were making fun of how fat he was. He was kind of fat. I kind of like that though. No, I like. Yeah. It made him more vulnerable. He was fat like my cat. Well, that was the thing.

It's I found it. Adorably fat. Exactly. It was braver of Godzilla to be nude in those scenes because he's so out of shape. There was a there was a there was an about Schmidt Kathy Bates honesty about the scenes. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I Get you This next letter. So why did that person write in? I don't know. I'm saying I must have been in reference to something

We said right right, but I don't remember and I don't care to remember I want to now I want to see a series of shorts you do called, I don't remember. Your sitting in the chair goes, Ah, yes. January 6, 2007. I don't remember. That's the whole thing.

It's like an NPR series. It's like the opposite of story core. I don't know what happened on April 5th 1992 and I don't care. Something could have happened. I don't know. I prefer to equip keepers in PR show gory core Also, the Tory Gory or story gory. Yeah, exactly. Not Tory Gory. That's too political for me. Yeah Tory Gory is also I guess the tale shouldn't have been the name for Terry Gore. That would be terror. Gore.

When the cryptic group at his local news channels, what reviewing young Frank, it's or Mano's is Torgo Gore. This one goes like this. Hello, Peaches. Dan, Dan and Elliot can take a breather on this one because this email is directed toward Stuart. The boon.

This is from my mom. Stuart, at your wedding, did your wife write her own vows and include a parody of Casey and JoJo's All My Life featuring the lyric, All My Life, I've prayed for someone like Stu. Do you think that if you had been marrying Weird Aliankovic, that he would have done that? Probably.

Do you wish you had married Weird Aliankovic? Oh, I got a question. Chris last name withheld. Well, the advantage of being married to Weird Aliankovic would be of course, financial security. You're very successful. And the security of knowing that he has a fortune of parody jokes.

And you're gonna run your hair. Your hands to those long-trees. Run my hair through his hair. Yeah, I wish that we had an intermingle hair. Yeah, yeah. And then just whip each other around the room. Exactly. Like some kind of martial arts duo in the show,

our brother's film. I wish it had said, do you wish you married around the room. Exactly. Like some kind of martial arts duo in the show, brothers, I wish it had said, do you wish you married W. Yankvik signed W. Yank last name with Held? I can say as someone who's known Stewart for years, that he has sung plenty of songs that have the word you and them in reply to in the lyrics. Die without stew. Yeah, there's probably other Sraven waiting for a girl like Stu. Yeah, yeah, Stu Stu got what I need like that one. Yeah, we go out for a while. Elliot, there's no make me feel no Elliot fits in Thomas no songs.

Mm-hmm. Where's Dan fits into a lot. It's a rain and Dan. Hallelujah. It's raining Dan. However, there's very few lot? It's a rain and Dan. Hallelujah. It's rain and Dan. However, there's very few songs that actually have my name in it. The only one I can think of is Daniel is leaving tonight. I don't think I know that song. That's the anthem, John. Oh. Danny Boy. Yeah, that's a classic. I'm a sold-and. Okay. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do final letter. final letter. final letter. is title. think of the ratings. okay podcast ratings. peaches, babies. I've been following your work for some time and I've got to tell you I like what I hear but we all know that after 170 some episodes the stick has become a little played out. you're telling us. that's right. the bits steward. Sure. You've attempted.

This guy's coming on real strong. Whoa, full-gourd press is what David Kaelin would call it. Sure. You've attempted to mix it up with tried and tested tropes. The time Stuart tried to get out of jury duty, for example, by ripping his own ding-dong off. Didn't work. Didn't work.

Or the ding-dong off. My hand got ripped off instead. Or when Dan mournfully sigheded the precise frequently to shatter the encasing of the world famous seven pound jewel aiding and betting a known super villain and let's not forget the short-lived spin-up series Flophouse babies in which Elliott rigs the school spelling bee to include his personal vocabulary of words that sound like other words Mr. Kaelin used the word go to bulls in the sentence. Enter the house cat. Wait a minute, the babies go to school. That's a nice one, right? Babies are not good at spelling bees.

It's pre-k. Enter the house cat. I can still, again, this is the cat spell. Well, fast becoming the most popular character. The flop house house cat brought a little more more the meomics than the internet's most annoying catchphrase. Ra Rao. Inspiring a new generation of Bart Simpson knockoff t-shirts. The most irritating internet catchphrase has got to be we could be like this but you was it you tripping. You tripping. You made some bold choices over the years. The world has watched on anxiously praying for that rekindling spark, but there's one thing

your stories have missed. A love interest. Jitleman, that's where I come in. What I'm proposing is just that. A flop house proposal. The primetime special lifetime of it extravagance episode we've been waiting for. In fact, it's a show of good faith and our perspective arrangement. I'd like to make an offering of personal humility. Allow me to address the woman who has long studied

your work by my side. An honorary flopscher who has chimed in with every episode's conversation regardless of whether you've addressed her. She's your greatest champion in my associate and love and our history together is a store it is this program. Tracey, the love and happiness we've shared so far is something I thought only existed in bad movies. You get six years in, I'm amazed you will still suffer me so gracefully. We've shared an adventure and misadventure and some of my favorite moments of the mundanity in between, but I yearn for a life greater than these flopp house reruns. Every day I get to wake up with you, feels like the start of something new, with limitless possibilities ahead.

It's time to focus 100% of our brains on the future. It's time to begin a new venture. So I ask you this, Tracey. Not as the resident Dan McCoy, but as humble letter writer Cohen. Tracey, last name witheld, will you marry me? Please? Well, that's all I have for now. Regardless of your decision, baby,

I think our work here is done. I got to feel- I got to feeling this peaches will be just fine. Let's focus our attention now. On the next potential spin-off, the last name with Helds. I have some thoughts you might like to hear that it depends on the star power of one flop house house cat.

See you at home, baby, don't delay. Keep on flopping, Cohen last name withheld. So if there's a Tracy out there who's dating a Cohen last name withheld, I hope there's not more than one. Because otherwise, we fucked you. Whoa, whoa, did you just wait? You're telling the guy,

you just helped him with proposal and then you're just telling him that you... I'm saying the other person, the other one who didn't know. I do like the idea of the guy wasn't ready for a commitment like that. Yeah, there you go. He did bring up the idea of mundanity, which I think is a good, a sitcom starring Dan McCoy in Olivia Munn.

Not the fuck. Wait, I'm saying you're storing it as sitcoms, yeah. I think you'd be great with Olivia Munn. Can we not bicker among ourselves for one moment and let the world make a sale that's just happened that our fan, English producers, has just chosen possibly the weakest vessel, instrument Dan, to roast his girlfriend Tracy.

Dan, this is the first fan to fan via the podcast proposal. Proposal, yeah. Very exciting. So, if you want Tracy to say yes, right in A to Radio Zork. If you wanted to say no, right in B and also your heartless. And if you wanted to say, give right in B and also your heartless. And if you wanted to say, give me a moment with kind of like a twinkle in a eye and then say yes, right in C. And if you'd like to push the door open slightly, slightly more, okay, stop, right in D. We'll get this door open someday. This door needs some oil.

Well, perhaps next week we can give an option that people can try oil on it. So Tracy, I think Cohen has shown his total lack of judgment in using Dan as his instrument, but I think you should overlook that. Yeah, look, I mean, I'm sure he's romantic in plenty of other ways. So I think he said that so gross. Yeah, look I mean, I'm sure he's romantic in plenty of other ways So I think he said that so gross. I don't know why we threw him under the bus so quickly Because he chose to propose for us Yeah, and we are touched We're totally

We're hiding how much were touched by These jokes classic flop bro behavior. Yeah. Yeah. We're deflecting. You know, let the real emotions, let's have a moment of real sincerity. Let's get real. You know what?

Everybody turn your baseball caps back. We're it's that. Let's turn your chairs around. Let's wrap about this. You too. Is everything works out. Yeah. You seem like a great couple.

I don't know much about either of you, but one of you can write in to the popular one. When he writes a funny letter. I know both of you are fans He didn't pick that many big words in that letter. Yeah, that's for thought. Yeah, because he knows Dan's stupid tunnel just trip on him The other one is a lady and He seems to love you That goes and did you promote to your life? Yeah. I can't remember.

It's still a long time. I mean, my words were not too well either. Yeah. Look, my words were not too well either. Classic, Elliot. Yeah. Classic, not speaking right. So letters, right?

So letter, I think we're all overwhelmed by the emotion of that. Yeah. And I guess we're all invited to the wedding now? Sure, of course. Yeah. Well, we could crash it by the emotion of that. Yeah, and I guess we're all invited to the wedding now. Sure, of course. Yeah. Well, we could crash it. What kind of a world? What were riding high on these letters?

I want to give a quick shout out to the three-year anniversary of Chris and Steph. Listeners, Chris and Steph, they were in the bar the other day and told me they're three-year anniversary. That's very nice. So I guess we've now instituted the precedent that the fly pass cares about your marriages.

Yeah, I'm not comfortable with this. No, no, no, I prefer to be a cold disagreeer. You would rather that, you would rather, you say, God, I think you are overestimating your place in the cosmos. You would rather split up marriages so people then marry someone else in spread the fly pass love to other people.

But Dan, without marriages, our source of lives, where will wives' butts come from? Okay, this is a misnomer. I like all butts. I don't really care with the marriage of the statuses. You prefer to be on wives? Yeah, I mean, well, I mean, I prefer them, look, just because I'm straight,

not because I have anything against. This got weird, this got weird for a real reason. I mean, I personally prefer them to be on wives then on the husbands as a matter of personal sexual preference but you'll take what you can get but I'll take unmarried women as well as all I'm saying and dudes sometimes do depends on the dude I mean if they're really sexy butts yeah why not Danny Glover yes John Voight know Danny Glover get on there he'sit know. Danny Glover. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He's got a great. He't make any sense. It's like it's got two airbags back. I really hope that as soon as the letter was mentioned, it's not just like a normal person that the

husband to be turned off the podcast. We can only hope. And that they haven't just been like hugging and kissing and talking to each other. And then suddenly they hear something about Danny Lovers book. I like to think they are making love to what we're saying right now. I don't like that at all. Right now. Right now. I like that. I like saptar clothes off.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Why not? It happens in the movie sometimes. All the time. Yeah. That's what I hear.

Like in a staircase in the history of violence and it looks really uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah, man. There's 60, 90. That happened in the history of violence. I don't think so. I think it did. Let's check the tape.

Yeah. Check the tape. Should anybody write it on that? No, not interested. So what do we do next? What's the next part? The next part? Do we watch more?

Yeah. It's a really long base. So may let me on of this. This is the part of the podcast where we recommend movies that we actually liked in contrast to Mordeky, which some of us kind of liked, but they're still better movies for us. Not really enough to recommend it. I would never recommend it to anybody. Let me jump in here.

Yeah, do it. I don't recommend a movie. I think we might recommend the same movie this week, wherever you go. So, this is a movie, I'm going to take the wheel on this one. Ah, fanatic. Rev my engines and recommend a movie that the internet has already kind of championed but in some ways it might not have gotten the financial backing that it deserves.

Nay has earned by quality. I am going to recommend a little movie called Castle Free. Whoa, you see it, directed by Stuart Gordon. You know what Stuart when I said same movie I was wrong. I just want to say that Castle Freak after his Blue Ray release has gotten much more attention and also possibly the street level support from yours truly. Castle Freak has started to get a little more attention, but I recommend that you guys either go by the blue ray or write your congressman to make it full moon streaming available

to everybody. I like that. I think it's on the Wikipedia entry for Castle Freak and to see also head of the family in Vizel Maniac, movies that are not related to it at all except to Stuart. Quality sometimes. They relate because they're both Oscar winners, I'm assuming? Uh, no. Uh, so Stuart, what will you really recommend? I was gonna recommend Castle Freak.

Okay. What are you gonna recommend? I was gonna recommend, as I thought you were going to with your car racing metaphor. A little movie called Mad Max Fury Rose. Now what is this Max so angry about? I'll tell you what, well, it's more mad, well, he started out mad angry in the first Mad Max

because his family had been killed by bikers. But this is three movies later on the fourth film. It's long passed to the apoc... Nuclear apocalypse. Now he's more mad insane. 46 years in fact. And he is... Let's just say one thing. You may have... if you're a flop house listener, you probably saw this movie already.

I really loved it. It was everything I wanted from them. You should have already seen... If you haven't seen this movie, you're crazy. Turn off this stupid podcast and go, we'll watch the movie. What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Stop saying yes to the marriage proposal. Go see Mad Max Ferry Road. fucker you do what they see fuck stop saying yes to the marriage proposal go see madmax fury road uh... madmax fury road uh... is nonstop madmax action for the watch madmax furry road no that's a different than i mean you can watch that only after you watch the

original we're in an even more extreme grotesque and delightful nuclear wasteland than in the previous madmax movies mhm tom hardy i find to be a more than fitting replacement for Mel Gibson, especially as the character has become simplified and kind of. What's important to his own story? Well, he's gone crazy to the point that he's now just this kind of being running

on instinct for the most part and communicating very briefly if at all. With the strangest accent in the world. Yes, with an accent that's not quite English, we're Australian or American. It's somewhere in between. Charlie's Theron is great as Imperietr Freerosa. Yep.

And there's so many great, crazy character designs. There's so much grotesque stuff. The action scenes are amazing. It's almost non-stop thrills, chills and spills. Yeah, the art book is really great too. The designs are amazing. It's almost non-stop thrills, chills, and spills. The art book is a really great two. The designs are fantastic. And many of them, as well as the script being covered

by Dunn by comic artist, Brenna McCarthy, who actually illustrated my first ever Marvel story. Oh, wow. My Captain America's Drummer. So I felt a little bit of pride there. Well, the script has originally written all storyboards, right? But it's just a really fun, intense action movie. When I saw it, literally, I sat down through the entire credits and didn't get up because

I was so kind of like vibrating from having just seen this that I felt like I couldn't stand up right away. But I was falling over. It creates an altered state in you that is not unlike taking drugs kind of you I like you know we took a cap ride back from the The screening afterwards and we were both sort of yeah like in this like phase We're just like we are so hyped up and we do not know what to do with this energy. Yeah, it's like this movie is like just Amphetamines being shot into your system, but there's the moment and this you know from all your experience of amphetamines being shot into your system. But there's the moment and this. You know from all your experience of amphetamines.

Yeah, yeah. From my mom experience, reading Hunterist Thompson. He's an amphetamineiac. Yeah, I'm actually, I think I actually saw it. I saw it twice within a 12 hour time period. I'm used to survive that. Yeah, it was the perfect choice. I kind of want to see it under altered states a little bit.

I think that might be. I don't know. It's so much fun without it. I don't know. I do. Here's the moment that some where I I went from liking the movie a lot to loving the movie or rather when I went from loving it to worshiping it, which is when Max and Charlize Theron are on the run from all the bad guys who are in their giant truck war rigs. And there's a truck that's just got rows of drummers on the back of it, just beating word drums. And the camera is moving around the scoop of trucks and it gets to the front of that drum truck.

And there's just a guy in red long underwear with his head wrapped up so he can't see, strapped to a wall of amps, just shredding away on a electric guitar on the top of a truck as everything zooms down the highway across a nuclear desert. And I was like, yep, this is exactly the movie. I've been dreaming about all this time. You did it, Hollywood.

You cracked the code. So Hollywood didn't do it. It's all George Miller. Well, that's what the people that we worked with. Like, that's what I want to say about this movie is. Like, I read some, like, I feel like we all three would be recommending this movie if we do. We three kings of Florence.

If we didn't know that. Yeah, I mean, I was recommending Castlebury. If we weren't aware that like all of us were gonna be recommending this movie, like we all would recommend this movie. Yeah, I didn't see any other movies. If a movie tops this movie for my favorite movie the year, this will be the best year

of movies of my life. Yeah, it would be a gift to the move guy situation. You would all be pregnant. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I bought you combs for your movies, but you've already destroyed the movies so you've come to waste. I bought you a new Blu-ray player, but you sold all your blue rays to buy me movie

So You don't lose your movies From your pocket to buy me a binder for the discs. Yeah, but what I was gonna say about this movie is like I read a bunch of reviews of this movie that were all like you know praising it as an action film praising You know how it's a triumph of practical special effects and just a triumph of old school action filmmaking where you actually have a sense of the geography of things, all of these things that are true about the movie.

But none of these reviews really said, which baffles me because it is so front center is how bonkers craze balls this movie is. I think explaining the reviews I think mentioned that. But like they didn't like really get into like how, like this movie is like crazy. It is an Australian exploitation movie like made with $200 million. Like yeah, like in terms of like the,

like everyone is just like shouting at each other and like weird Australian actions. And they're just like, wap, wap, wap, wap, wap, wap, it's like in terms of like the like everyone is just like shouting each other and like weird-ostragging actions They're just like Pointy like like it's all like fast motion weird like they've like undercranked the camera Except for Tom Hardy and these four young women that he's trying to save in it every character is Rotesquely deformed, maimed or just hideously ugly and some way. And the old ladies that come in later, they're not ugly, but... The Volvalini? Yeah, but there's... But George Miller has not changed, though, is the thing.

No, he's just... That's he made the roller rower. He's got more resources to do at a bigger... There were parts of this where I'm like, this is basically road warrior again, but like bigger and crazier. More stagecoachy. Yeah, and there's other differences, but like bigger and crazier. More stage coachy. Yeah, and there's other differences, but like, yeah, it's, but in that they're chasing,

you can get in chased one way and they can chase another way. But it like, it's so crazy. Yeah, and I feel like a lot of the reviews have been trying to dignify this movie or at least treat it with dignity when they are. It is a zany cartoon of a movie. But it is, and it is a movie that is dignified and deserves dignity. But they seem to be missing out the fun.

You have the fact that it is Craze Ball's Insaneo. And it feels like the closest thing you'll ever get to a film 2000 AD strip. Like not just because Brandon McCarthy was involved and the look of the film, just like the structure is very much like a comic book. Yeah, it's like did like an underground cartoon and it's like working and it's filmed this in all of the weirdness of it.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, the, uh, and just the fact, if you stay through the credits and just look at the character's names, all these characters who are not mentioned by name in the movie and have the most amazing names. Like, did you see Matt Singer, a film critic, Matt Singer's article where he made a list of, he mixed up a list of Mad Max characters and just crazy bullshit names he made up. And it was a quiz to see if you could pick out which ones were right.

Well, that one of the characters's names, Richtus erectus, and then there's that the character, the doctorate characters referred to as the organic mechanically. They have great rhyming names, a lot of it. I can't remember most of the really good names, but they're really great. We're sitting through the credit.

So I'm gonna recommend a movie that, like, Mad Max Ferry Road is. No, I like, I would say. I would tie Octane Thrill Road. Let's be clear. Take your favorite blood bag. Let's be clear. If I was not totally sure that one of my co-hosts was not going to recommend Mad Max Fear

Road, I would recommend Mad Max Fear Road. But the Mad Max Fear Road. I'm trying to say you don't like Mad Max Fear Road. Opposite. But the Mad Max Fear Road. I'm going to recommend something that kind of plays into the whole Mad Max Fear Road thing. Called Road Warrior. Which is, no, I watched a movie that I will not make any arguments for as great

cinema. I'll make an argument for it as something that hovers perfectly in that zone between Good Bad Movie and Movie I kind of like, which was I watched Need for Speed, which is another car racing movie, another chase movie. Is that the one with the kid from Breaking Bad? Yeah, the guy plays Jesse and Breaking Blood. Breaking Blood. Yeah, Breaking Blood. Breaking Blood.

Breaking Blood. I knew they'll sell meth to support my family. I have cancer. No, you're undead. You'll never die. You're immortal. All right. He turns out I'm just a bad guy.

You remember? He's a bad guy. Blah, Volter Fight. That's good. Aaron Paul. Breaking Vlad. Who played Jesse and Breaking Bad? You got Dominic Cooper, who was the elder Stark Tony Stark. Oh, no,

who am I thinking of? Who's the in the wire, Dominic? Oh, the guy is going to be preacher. Yeah, you had Amigen Poots. And he was in, and he was in, and he was in, Oh, imaging Poots? To, hey, we got two flop people there. Dominic, what's his name was in Dracula, and Amigen Poots was in what that awkward moment? Yep. Yep. Oh, she's going to be in the new, she's going to be in the green room. Well, you got three floppy, because Dakota Johnson is also in it. Wow, Dan, this is a flop trove.

But also Michael Keaton is in it playing, basically imagine the Warriors radio DJ character, a character who's narrating the events of the movie but also is in charge of the big final race. I imagine he's the vanishing point radio character. Oh sure. Okay. Whatever you're imagining, imagine that Michael Keaton came in for one day. I'll do it all in one room talking into a computer. Can I do that? And I'm like, sure, whatever. We're glad to have you. But this is a movie that takes about 20 minutes to set itself up, which is 20 minutes too long. But once it gets into like, and all that 20 minutes is to establish that Aaron Paul needs to win this race, one to say of his family's garage. Okay.

say of his family's garage. Okay. To, why don't you just do a bikini car wash? To, to, because the guy that stole his girlfriend is a dick and three, because the guy, the dick who school's girlfriend framed him for the manslaughter or killing of his best friend. And so as to clear his name, I guess, by winning a race.

And so he has to get from New York to California on 48 hours, and then he has to enter this race and win it. And it has a lot of good, like, practical, special effects because it was, like John Wick, it was directed by a stunt person. So they prefer to be called stunt in Americans. So there's a little more care put into the effects and the like geography of effects. So what kind of this was a bear? What kind of bear would it be? Yeah, I don't.

Cody act like a care bear. Whoa, I don't remember because he said the care was put into it. Oh, what a neat up guys. Was it a black bear? Grizzly and was it up? Was it a panda bear? Oh, grizzly. And was it a panda bear? Polar bear? I don't know what it's bear candy. Answer the question, Dan.

Was it a polar bear? Yeah, it was a polar bear. Polar bear directed a movie that's a make you buried the leaf. Was it one of those Coca-Cola polar bears? They seem smart. Point is, it's a dumb movie, but it's a dumb movie that I had a lot of fun watching.

So if you're coming home to a very veryfor-two-f-a-row, two-for-do Lucy and Neat for speaking, you wanna see a movie that's much worse than Mad Max, very rude, but also has cars racing around, going to do. Yeah, just Mad Max, your road's not gonna fill your need for cars racing around. Some say, like if you wasn't methadone from it.

You wanna come down, I say. Yeah. You could do worse from Neat for Speed. I think it was unfairly- You could come down, I see. Yeah. Uh, you can do worse from need for speed. I think it was it. It was it was it. You could do worse. Says Dan McCoy. Three.

You're gonna get your instead. It was a movie that got a lot of battery views. I think it's a lot more fun than the reviews it suggests is all I'm saying. Okay. Need for speed. Give it a try. Yeah. But Mad Max Free Road.

Yeah. No, that's the number one. And Castle Freak. We covered it. Hey, Castle Freak. Three for, guys. And I just want to say one thing. It is an explicit, made in my sphere road is a big budget exploitation movie, but it's great. It's a great movie. I was just trying to capture the zining this time.

No, but I agree, yeah. Which I feel like a lot of the reviews in the, yeah, as you say, like in there and like need to like dignify it, like did not sort of paper over the fact that it is a loony tunes movie. And a lot of, and not, of course, not a real loony tunes movie with Bugs Bunny and Daffy Ducks. They've made movies since loony tunes back in action.

But what about the one where they're on the island? Ducks fans, yeah. Ducks fans, yeah. In Ducks fans, yeah. In Ducks fans, yeah. That was one of the ones where for repack thing where they had some original animation between old cartoons, like Dafty Duck's Quack Busters was the same thing.

And a thousand and one Arabian bunny tails, whatever it was called. It sounds like a point now. That's like a bunny. Yeah, that was the same thing. It was a very simple joke. But there's a lot of, not to keep talking about Fury Road, but it does feel like a lot of reviewers

from prestigious publications saw it and liked it and were like, I can't like this just because it's a crazy bonkers thrill ride. I'm going to come up with some reason why I like it. Yeah. Uh, so it's three recommendations for Fury Road. Three. And one for Castle Freak. Yeah.

And sleep don't run to see Need for Speed. It says, Dan McLeod. It's all right, Dan. It's not I. And that's all right, Boss. Raeves, Dan McLeod, an offensive Italian accent. Wow, I'm sorry that I'm coughing right when I need to go into the next thing,

which is to say, we're just one part of the Max Fun podcast, which I was reminded of when I was out, Max Fun podcast network, sorry, which I was reminded of yet again, when I was in LA, Lala Land, Babe City. And I had some drinks with Jordan Morris of Jordan Jesse Go, name, drop in,

and Travis McElroy of my brother and my brother and me. Uh, two of, I would dare say to have two other favorite podcasts on the max fun network. Hmm. I'll pick in favorites. Uh, I'm sure why not. I don't care. Uh, Brandon Bridges. Come at me, bros.

I had some old fashions. Oh, okay. But, uh, this one, I, I met Jordan before. It's my first time meeting Travis. Meetin' a McElroy, the Middleest Brother of the McElroy Brothers. Yeah, you tell him I wanna be on there, D&D, but I did.

Okay, good. And Travis and I bonded over the fact that we both agreed that we were, like, people have tried to map three of us. You steward Elliott and me onto other characters in pop culture. Yeah, I feel like I'm more of a hoolie. You of a doy and storage a real louis exactly and we're mapping Us onto the macrois and Travis and I agreed that we were the same Did you didn't touch in other?

What hand sense and you're not so different you and I yeah, and then we exploded And meld into each other and explode like a duck. But he was a delightful person in person, as you would imagine him to be. His wife was equally delightful. And so you should listen to his podcast, my brother, my brother and me. He also has other podcasts,

bunker buddies being one of them, the adventure zone, adventure zone, all good stuff. My brother, my brother and me. Yeah, I'm just saying check out my Yeah, a lot of great max one podcast even ones that don't have macaroids in them. Yeah Justin go just go Things that I can't remember right now things that I can't remember right now stirring Dan I don't remember why don't you fucking help out by promoting our benevolent podcast overlords.

Yeah, makes fun. We got tons of great shows throwing shade. Yeah, there you go. That one. Elliot. Judge John Hodgeman. Perfect. Sure.

Bullseye. No, I can't wait. Are we just doing rounds? Yeah. Let's say all we can give is going. Too much pressure now. Yeah, there you go. I can't, yeah, I can't, look, Dan, there's too many people watching me.

The flop house, okay. Yeah, boo, we did it. Right around. Point is go to maximumfund.org, check out other shows in the network. I think that you might as well. Buy some merch, buy some merch. Buy some merch from our show end other shows.

There's a sensibility that runs through the maximum font podcast. A sense and sensibility in that we're all based on the works of Jane Austen. Yeah. I think going through. The Falk House is a loose adaptation of North Anger Abbey. Very loose.

Very loose if you know what I mean. Anyway, the point was just thank you for Jordan and Travis for being hospitable when I was in their city. And check out Max Fun podcast. It's just like a weird way of inviting other Max Fun people to new year man. So we can buy him drinks. Yeah. Why not? My borrow will probably be open soon. I can just all hang out. Yeah, let's have a little Max Fun hang out. It's a weird way to invite other Max Fun hosts to hang out. I have an Algonquin right. Yeah, David. You're a good people. Yeah, Gankman pod table. Um, is Jordan Jesse go named after what I assume their shared father said when he threw them out of the house.

Haha. Jordan Jesse go. Yeah. I have no hosts. Yeah. Um, so Dan, who are we and what are we from and what are we doing now, going? This is the Plothouse podcast. Uh huh. We're from the max fun network. We're podcasters, primarily. We're from New York. We're from New York.

I'm trying to set you up to end the podcast. What we do now. So get about it. It's, you say, goodbye to all of you. So that's what we do. For the Plothouse, I've been Dan McCoy, and I have been Stewart Wellington. And yours in Mad Max Fury Road, I am Elliot Kaelin.

Good night everyone. Mordeky! Ha ha ha ha! I love premium rush. premium rush great. premium rush great. premium rush great. premium rush great. so says arg on caveman review.

Michael Shannon performance nuance thug and grok in the aisle og and thunk go to the movies i give this one one what thum type finger up so they know the word thum but they don't have one yet that's hard enough to know well they don't have a puzzle thumbs they're hominids, yeah. So I see.

Hominims. No, they're not hominims. They're numbimims, like in Gulliver's Travels. Hominims. Oh, that's a cat. That's one of cats, sounds like another cat. Yeah. All right, let's do an introduction first.

My name's Stuart. No. But I'm the podcast for like a million years. And I never want to stop doing it. I love cats. How about you? If you're interested in meeting up, just write to me at stewardatmiao.com slash edu.

Let's get a little weird. Who cares? Hey, everybody. I'm Emily. I'm Lisa. We co-host Baby Geniuses every other Monday. I'm Emily and I'm Lisa. We co-host Baby Geniuses every other Monday on Maximum Fun. We interview comedians, musicians, cartoonists, circus clowns and experts in the field of… Vacations get to life, cool or repressive, you supplement fashion candy, beach boys, girls,

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