The Flop House - Ep. #180 - CBGB

Episode Date: June 13, 2015

Detailed show notes abandoned this week, as Dan and Elliott are winging their way to Montreal for a wedding!

On this episode we discuss CBGB. That's not it, it's just a bunch of letters. What does that mean? It stands for Cow Butt Guy Butt. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey Dan McCoy, I am Stuart Wellington. Hey fans in podcast land and Dan is Stuart. I'm Elliott Kaelin. All here, back again. President accounted for.

President accounted for. That's right. Before we start recording, we checked where the president was. Okay Dan, turn on the mics. Let's do this. No, no, you don't understand this work. Get press the record button. No, it's already... It's got... get those tape spinning around. We're done.

We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done.

We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done.

We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We need to put more on this and a little lettuce of this other thing. And this thing is at the right level. Dan, you could be the best audio producer in the world. Meatloaf, get out of the booth. What? Because Meatloaf wants to hear us record our podcast.

You know, Ragnarol Star? Meatloaf, get out of the booth and into my tummy. You're eating human being? Yes. When he's just delicious. I make Hannibal. Ah, like Hannibal, the hit NBC show that's not really a hit, but I like it a lot. A Hannibal.

Hannibal the Cannibal. We should have known when we named him Hannibal. I mean, that does not exist. What about that guy who crossed the Alps? Was it his name, Hannibal? Oh boy, Stuart. We got to start at the beginning. Oh boy, you would be the only one.

I mean if I wrote that down, I'd probably get a B minus on my history paper right? Only because it's cool. It's the only other kids. Team is high school, maybe. Yeah. I went back in time and got Danable to tell you what his experience is.

Hello, I don't know why I'm here. I'm the one guy in history who was named Danable to tell you what his experience is. Hello, I don't know why I'm here. I'm the one guy in history who is named Danable. What's up? I was a shoemaker. Danable Shultz. Shoemaker extraordinaire. So this is primarily a bad movie podcast where we watch bad movie and then we talk about it. Yeah, we review it. Yeah, well, I mean, I wouldn't call it a review, except for the purposes of the website where I use copyrighted poster material under the auspices of us being a review too. That's for review purposes. Yeah, and much the way that Mr. Skin is a review site, that reviews movies.

I mean, reviews them under a very narrow set of critical parameters. Yeah, there's one criterion that Mr. Skin is interested in. No movie that's in, or listen to Mr. Skin's website has to be angry that they're using their posters though, right? Because I think I know that they're using any footage from the movie.

Oh, you can see the footage on there. Right. Do I have to get a membership or something? It's called Skinheads. The members of Mr. Skin. I think you're mixing them up with someone else. So tonight we watched what we called CBGB about the now down New York punk club of the same name. Now it's remembered only through the name of a Daniel Balloude restaurant.

DBGV. Okay. So, Dan, is this actually a movie? What did we watch? I don't believe it's a movie. Well, it seems to have been someone's middle school report on CBGB that a Some school sophomore

Directed and somebody drew all over with a bunch of yeah with a bunch of Combo book panels. Let me just say this Middle school teacher who assigns a report on CBGB coolist made a school teacher Which weird is that it's faith in religion class at a Catholic school Why would he assign a CVGB report? Dan explain? Religions all about questions, Elliot and like the one you just asked Who questions more than the original punk Jesus. Oh, wow. He sounds pretty cool. Hey, you know what's radical kids questioning the pre-existing theological structure.

I mean, that is radical. I mean, it's a different version of radical. Hey, who was the original skateboarder, Jesus Christ? I don't think that's right. If by a skateboarder, you mean crucifixion by a border, you mean being nailed to her? Who's the world's most famous dead boy? Right. Except that he rose from it to become a God boy.

Who's the world's most? Which sounds like dog boy, and he Charles Burns fans in the class. This is a hip teacher. Who's the world's most awesome fighting teens? Right. If you guess, If you guess,

Teenage Mutant Ninja Jesus, you'd be correct. Mm-hmm. There's probably a movie called the world. I thought there was the most fearsome fighting. Yeah, I don't fucking know By the way if the podcast listener can hear the sound of a truck backing up in the background and apparently this truck has been backing up for the last 15 minutes It's got a long way to go then just think of that as Authentic New York grit of the kind you won't find in the movie

CBGB. Yeah, so let's talk. So CBGB, let's dispense with the plot summary because here's the plot summary. I think we should go right into the plot summary. This guy. No, it's not. So there is no plot. So the movie opens with the future legs McNeil and his pal John Holmes from talking about

how they want to do a magazine about today's young angry youth. And they come up with the name punk in one of the stupid movie moments where someone uses a word and they both go, ah, that's great or whatever. It's like we're falling into the abyss. And James Cameron, and he's like, James Cameron, I named the movie. And while he's gonna never hear movies, that we're gonna make in seven years,

or how you had lowered like 12 years. Why don't they just come out? Anyway, then we cut to the past when a baby sneaks out of a crib and runs into a field. That baby is the future. Baby is a ducked by aliens and it becomes the star lord.

Only. That baby grows up to be hilly crystal, the founder of CBGV. Billy Crystal! No, and it's not helped by Alan Rickman. William Crystal? Super.

No, it's not helped by Alan Rickman's super mumbly accent, so that every time he says hilly crystal, it sounds like he says, Billy Crystal. Hello, I'm Hilly Crystal. But as the judge in this.

I guess I'll I like Chris how I think about this is how I'm going to deliver all my lines I think that you've got something you can do deeper L.A.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.I.R.I.R.I.R.I.R.I I'm not going to be a fan of my crumb. You're slowly turning into a bond villain. How has he not been a bond villain yet? Alan Rickman? Yeah, he would be great. Well, I mean, everyone would say it's too much like die-hard, too much like die-hard. We doesn't have to be...

Yeah, I feel like... He probably got it off her too many. He was just like, don't you think this is a bit of obvious casting? I'm trying to avoid the nervous. You even named him Fron's Groover. You named him Fron's Boober. This is... You're named him Fr Boober. This is your name. You named him Franz Snape.

Same strange. I haven't even played that part yet. The book hasn't been written. Yeah, so he's the most. And let's just get this one. He's the most English Jewish New York guy there's ever been. And he is, if you couldn't sleep walk through this this role more if his eyes were literally closed to the whole movie

Let's go and think straight. I like Alan Rickman a lot. He's good in a lot of things He's great in a lot of things not in this one And so he is as Stewart described it He appears in exposition court where the judge explains that hilly crystal has twice gun bankrupt and is divorced with children The sequel to married with children. When Al and Peggy just decided it wasn't working out anymore, but they were both in their 60s by that point. Yeah.

So, I mean, how? They go in the divorce court, and there's a toilet that flushes off-screen. And every time they're now middle-aged daughter, Christina Afogate walks in, the judge goes, ooh! Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow. Yeah. Bud Bundy has long since died.

Crushed under a, I don't know, an overweight spud's mechanism. Like, look at like, just like a big rock doll. He was judging the spud's mechanism, look at like contest at the World's Fanist Dog Convention. And it was killed tragically when the stage collapsed. It was like, hmm, this dog looks like a good party hearty. This dog doesn't look like a party's hearty enough.

And now this, oh no! Ah! All the dogs are so fat that the bones on their Hawaiian shirts are just straining to stay close. I mean, the thing is, all the dogs went to heaven, but Bud went to hell. Oh, yeah, all bunnies go to hell, Ted, but all of them. Anyway, so... King Kong.

Yeah, well, King Kong, Bud, he went to hell too? Wait, is he still alive? Is he different than the giant ape character from those movies? They're brothers. Okay. That would, but one's a cop and the other's a criminal. Well, they ever get along.

It's probably not. It's probably not. The king of calm. So Hilly has a dream of owning a music club. He wants to open a bluegrass music club. And once and he finds he wanders through a piss poor budget simulacrum of 70s rundown, New York, which is represented by the same graffiti storefronts and alleyways over and over again. And in one scene, he sees a rat. Now, New York, at this point, is at the height of its economic resurgence. It's to such a point that like someone like me, who's a high pay television writer, can't afford to buy property in Manhattan, can't afford to buy an apartment really. And there are rats all over the place.

So the idea that you're riding to work sometimes. Yeah. I mean, if you're lucky, you'll ask them, right, I'm like a sandworm. Then you're one of the makers. But you see, the spice comes from the rats. That's the secret. Oh, you got a milk come. Yeah, you're milcom. Not a real spice teats. But so the idea. Tell Broke-O was telling me about it. What? What did that sound like?

Oh, so I was reading June the other day. The shy alludes are like rats. I had a vision of massive jihad sweeping the universe. Stop telling me about it. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. Very proud. Are you recapping the plot of Dune over in over? Michael, I thank you for agreeing to this second. I wanted to read Dune. I could just read Dune. Or I could watch the David Lynch film. I know I wouldn't do that. It's not a great representation of the story. If anything, watch the Oderrobsky's tune, which again is not accurate but more interesting. It's something about spice. I don't care.

Now, but it's interesting. I am turning the Jimmy Stewart. We don't keep her down up there. I'm the ghost of Jimmy Stewart. I'm trying to finish reading chapter house tune. That sounded more like Don Nuts than Jimmy Stewart. I was trying to finish reading chapter house, Dune. That sounded more like Don Nodz than Jimmy Stewart. That was a little, that was a little planet we like to call an unlikely conversation between Tom Brokall, Michael Kane and Jimmy Stewart. About Dune. Thank you. Jack Nicholson's here. No. We want to talk about Dune Messiah.

Michael's in here. Oh no. Who wants to talk about Dune Messiah? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm talking about an evil empire. I saw Stuart make a face. He was about to jump in with another hack impression, but he couldn't think of one at time. The thing is I could do a good impression, but it wouldn't be the same. That's the thing. Your impressions are too good.

They're too good. We don't know what it's something like if Clive Owen jumped in talking about June hello, hello, I love June the book Self-inclusive really the Peter Sellers of the flop house Just amazing. It's made Paul Giamatti. I was walking by and I heard you talking about Dune They're gonna feel it all the way in New York, sad and dreas In theaters now Angry about it for some reason party you kids are gonna read dude Oh my god, James. The worst impressions.

Anyone, it's ever done. You know what? They're not the worst impressions, because we just watched CBGV. A movie full of the shittiest impressions of famous punk rockers that there ever was. Yeah. How, hey, here are some words you never hear to describe.

You never used to describe punk rock musicians as CBGVs. Well-fed, tan, healthy looking fit, except maybe Iggy Pop, he, for a heronatic too, isn't pretty good shape most of the time. I think Iggy Pop was the most convincing one because he was convincingly weirdly muscular, amaciated. Except the guy, all of them look like, it looks like a, it does look like a high school play

about CBGB where they just got kids with the same hair color, you know? Yeah, and everybody who plays a famous person walks out and then says their name. Yeah. Not unlike a certain clive-own impression. Do you think was worst? Was it Malin Ackerman as Debbie Harry?

Like, I don't know. I mean, I thought that the guys doing the Ramones were pretty lame too. I feel like the guy playing David Byrne did the best impression because he barely talked and he just stood there dressed in the same clothes that David Byrne used to. Yeah, English convinced convincingly somewhere on the autistic spectrum. Yeah, but the thing is also they don't have the actors saying cover versions.

So here, so let's get to the point. Hillary Crystal decides to open up a club. He does it with his English, his cockney English pal, don't alo. Don't alo. It's gonna be a country bluegrass blues club, which is why it's called CBGB's, except, you know, we all know that the, it was gonna feel the well-worn tales.

It was gonna be a Calbut guy butt bar. Yeah. But the, and his, so, with this, it took another turn. With his friends, the maybe English accented Donal Logue and his daughter who keeps arguing with him about the bills. It's really great to see Donald Logue and... So, the daughter Ashley Green of Twilight fame, I think she...

Oh, what's going to be it, okay? You can use your pocket computer. We're gonna be quiet while Dan does this. No, no. Look, you're the navigator of your pocket operator. But it is really great to watch all the equipment. The operator of your pocket operator.

And Donald Logue do these competing impressions or accents where it gets to a point where neither of them seems to know what accent they're supposed to be here. No, don't allow is Englishing up while Alan Rickman tries to English down and they reach the middle of this like, kind of shitty Patrick McGuin is what it sounds like.

You're like a fully enunciated Patrick McGuin continental accent. Yeah, well, it's like a fully-enunceded Patrick McGuin continental accent. Yeah, it looks like a mid-Lanagaxon. It's just sort of like, it just sounds like Kevin Costner or something, in Prince of Thieves. Especially because they keep talking about baseball. And how they're going to build a baseball field of a corn field. Was that what happened in Prince of Thieves?

I think misunderstood that movie. It's called Robin Hood, Prince of Field of Dreams Thieves. Another Alan Rickman movie, where he was also miscached, although he probably was the best thing about that movie. Yeah, definitely. Like, he was acting in a different movie than everyone else. No, no.

The Christian Slater was. But he was enjoyable in the movie he was acting. So he wanted to- He thought he was in a Rocky Horror picture version of the Robin Hood story. So he thought he was in a rocky or pictureshovershoot of the Robin Hood story. So he wants to say this super serious, like hard hitting Robin Hood story that we're given. He's a he wants to he wants to open a music club. He has a dog that poops everywhere. He's a totally unlikeable lazy grumpy guy who mumbles and isn't friendly to anybody. And

it was kind of semi friendlyfriendly but he's just really like he has no charisma whatsoever he's like a walking sponge and operate operates with like the least amount of direction or info like you have no idea why he's doing what he's doing yeah and he has no motivation to do anything even he never even says like i like music he's just kind of like, I guess you're just supposed to assume that, and the whole movie is predicated on the idea that you as the viewer love CBGB,

the, you know, he loves CBGB, he loves CBGB, but I always thought of his CBGB. Love CBGB and love punk music. So like, you're gonna watch this like the stations of the cross and be super excited when like, a bunch of people dressed up to look like the dead boys show up or like when a guy dressed up to look like the dead boys show up or like when a guy dressed up to look like Lou Reed shows up

and you're gonna be so excited to see these famous punk moments acted out in these famous stories about the crazy, Hilly Crystal. And so the movie just... I acted out on a stage that's plastered with like stickers and posters, but none of it has like a lick of dust or dirt on it. But it's also interesting that you say

stations of the cross because it feels like a Christmas pageant. It feels like, all right, well, this is a familiar story and we're gonna get some kids to come in and act it out. It's more like a passion play. That is more important to hit the beats than any sense of drama or character. It feels more like a crappy ritual.

And so the movie doesn't have structure so much as it has this recurring series of scenes where people complain to Hilly that they're not making money on the bar. The bar's losing money. A band comes in and plays for a while. The actors lip sync to the album version of these famous songs. Oh my God, they have the lip syncing is so bad. And so they'll be like,

Hey, yeah, we're just starting out. We're at the first ever performance live. And it sounds like this band's biggest hit. It's biggest hit, super polished. And at the end, even if it's like an agronistic, like they've got Patty Smith singing because of the night, when that's like a much later song from her.

The last scene of the movie is this new band comes in and it's clearly the police because they look kind of like the police and they start playing and they're just lip-syncing to the album version of Roxanne and it's like well well this guy either does an amazing sting impression and an amazing sting in a studio impression like it's yeah and as you point out like Alan Rickman's like it might have something which maybe was the thing he used to say a lot I don't know but like it feels like you're watching. Of course they do.

This is a really polished fucking song. It feels like at a lot of the time like you're watching a movie version of the Jimmy Fallon game where celebrities lip sync to songs and competition. But in celebrities you have, I insist celebrities. I mean, there are, I mean, there it's like, you got Rupert Grint from Hogwarts. It's like a fit. It's like, it's like, it's a grint from Hogwarts. It's like It's like Some 13 year old kid you got the guy from the hangover that's not in the poster

Justin Bartha some 13 year old kid in scars Dale I think that every time I see it Justin Panthrow what? Banthop oh banthop yeah, that's uh, there's a Justin Bartha food food. Yeah Yeah, that's just in Barthof Food Poodoo. Yeah. It's like some kid in Scar's Dale was really into punk. And so his parents decided to throw him a punk themed bar mitzvah, where they took some catering hall and plastered it with punk zines and shit and hired a people

from the local performing arts high school to pretend that they were punkers from the punk times. And the whole thing is so like antiseptic and like, look, it looks real, like, if for a movie that's supposed to be about like junkies performing music essentially in a shithole, it looks really clean, like you were saying. Yeah, every time they go outside,

it's like they stepped onto a fucking Sesame Street set. Like if Oscar the Grouch had shown up, it would have added needed grit and realism to the movie. Okay, we're in a very like privileged position here that we're not usually. Oh yeah, we're upper middle class guys, we're all employed white. Let's not forget that in America. Okay, I'm kind of employed, but in addition. You're in private entrepreneur.

We're in a privileged position in this movie and that we don't have to spend a bunch of time recapping the plot because this movie has no plot. Like I just want to skip through it and say like the plot because this movie has no plot. Like, I just want to skip through it and say, like, the plot of the movie is famous band after famous band walks into CBGB and Hilly gives them a chance. However, he's a bad manager. So he's still like losing money on the bar or we forget to pay his rent.

So his daughter takes over some of that stuff. There's a long sequence where he's trying to manage the dead boys as a band. Well, yeah, at the end he's like, Oh, this will rocket me to success. Now I've got to start managing these bands and he starts managing the dead boys, but that doesn't really do much for him. It takes a band that's made up of some of the,

like, of all the bands that ended up recording albums that played at CBGB is like one of the most screwed up when it came to actually doing things, you know? Yeah, and that's pretty much all that happens in the movie, which means that we can unlike normal circle back and focus more on the small things rather than like going through a lavering thing plot. We should also mention there's a lovable junky named Idaho

who does odd jobs around the place. Will you say that he was CBGB's private idol? I would. He seems to be like the, he's like the like the lovable junkie mascot. It's like if they got Charlie Day's character from it's always sunny in Philadelphia, on stage doing that like Night Man, come if play, to play a junkie.

That's basically what you're getting at. Night Man, come if. Yeah, nice man. No, I think it's, well, what's the, it's the fucking bit for your show. I man coming. Yeah, nice man. No, I think it's, what's the, it's the fucking bit for your show. The part, the song, sorry, the song, the play from. Oh, I don't think I've seen that.

I don't've seen that. You're not talking about the, Danny DeVito's in it, Alex, you will love it. I know. And I've seen the show. I haven't seen every episode. I thought you meant,

Eugene O'Neill's play about Night Man, the, I think, what, Valiant Comics character? Nothing, the Shadow Man, the, I think, what, valiant comics character? Nothing, the Shadow Man. Okay, I was gonna say that. I thought you were talking about it. The jazz musician, Clifford O'Dets play the Iceman coming.

The long, long, long, very long play. There's a Eugene O'Neil play, Dan. I'm sure. Yes. Okay. Clifford O'Dets wrote Ways of the FD, the big knife.

Awake and saying. You keep talking. Yeah, look up Eugene Oh, yeah, look it up. Move me wrong dude So yeah One neither of them are boring. Hmm, it's pretty boring. Uh, I don't think. Anyway, look, we're talking about CVGVM movie. We can all agree is boring.

So even if this point is boring, you're gonna see Eugene O'Neil play his boring. You should talk about morning becomes a lecturer, and even that has good scenes in it. But anyway, there's even bits where, even when he's trying to manage the dead boys, his motivation releasing that clear. I'm sorry, I got so hostile about that, i know that you're your person your self-worth is

really tied up in your uh... theater girl persona i mean that persona that care about in eugenia niel someone my grandmother met a couple times well we're ready for the theater guilt named your often takes an early uh... early uh... uh... here is my This is my new segment. People, I didn't see in the theater, but family members of Mindsaw.

Would you like to think they went out a few times? I would, my grandmother, I assume, hit on him. Like that's, or she was pretty frisky at the time, anyway. At the time. Tell me more. This is my father's mother who, when Aja introduced her to my then girlfriend, now wife, she was touring us around the assisted living apartment she lived in.

And she took us, she said, here's the bedroom. Nothing happens in there. It's like, Grandma, you are so, you are definitely a blanch. Yep, it all happens in the bathroom. I like to do it standing up in the shower. Don't worry, we have those flowers on the ground, so we don't slip. Two of the worst ways to do it.

Look, when you're that old, you gotta spice it up somehow. So, yeah, what do we have to say about this? So, anyway, it's, here was the question I was asking Stewart during the movie. So, let's take a successful movie about a music scene, 24-hour party people, which is about the mad Chester music scene. Music I don't like. In a time period, I'm not interested in.

And yet that movie is great. This is a movie about a time period and music which I've kind of lost to my- In a city. And a city, which like I've, some of those things I'm not as into as I once was, but like there was a period in my life when I was all about punk, especially that era of punk. I'm still hugely obsessed with that time in New York's history,

and yet this movie was so uninteresting to me. Like I was fighting to be interested in a movie that's about things I'm interested in. That's like there are musical acts depiction in this that I love, talking heads first among them, but also Blondie, the Ramones. Television, I love. Spin doctors. The spin doctors were creating this movie.

They played themselves. The spin doctors were in Ramones. But it's just so like, it glances over the surface of everything. And when you see these bands, you don't learn anything about the bands. Like, you learn about... You learn their names and kind of the costumes that they wear. Yeah, it's so focused on the club and the club owner who is maybe the least interesting part of this whole story.

And even then it's focused on him, but like, even he doesn't do that much. What about the breakneck pacing? Well, that tries to mimic the pacing of punk-rechnix. Well, this thing every now and then, they'll just suddenly, it'll turn into comic book scenes and it'll switch to another scene and you're like, what, did I just see? Did I get transported to cool world?

Yeah. Is this a live-action underground scene? And they'll be like, this comics with an ex? They'll be like this comics with an X They'll be like a lot balloon or a talk balloon of someone saying something like you gross really unwitty or something that just Reinforces what we just saw in the scene anyway. There's also the scenes of John Holmes from and what's her name? From a American Psycho no No, Mary Herron.

Mary Herron, just walking around the streets of New York, talking about what punk means in a way that no human being has ever done. They were like scenes from the West Wing where there's exposition that Aaron Sorkin needs to get out. So he was like, why don't I just take this paragraph that explains how the checks and balances system works. Split it up into dialogue by just giving characters one line each and have them walk through a hallway,

and people think it's dramatic. It's the sort of myth-making that only makes sense in retrospect, but would never be true of the time. Because this movie does not have any sense of immediacy, of how a scene would actually be growing. It's like, it's all through this like haze of like, this is important, you know. Yeah, well, it's also, it's one of those movies where television performs to like two people and suddenly there's a review in a magazine about it and in a different city.

And then his daughter is like, this is, you have no idea how big this is going to be. And then the next show they have, the place is packed. Yeah. And every band that plays the place is packed. And that junkie guys in the back making, making chili, like it's fucking exoronious or something. It's just squeezing ketchup into a big pot. There's a lot of dog shit jokes.

A lot of dog shit jokes. We want to talk more. We learn the origin of punk rock dudes wearing There's a lot of dog shit jokes. A lot of dog shit jokes. We want to talk more. We learn the origin of punk rag dudes wearing Doc Martens, I guess, or... Well, boots. He was wearing Doc Martens. I mean, I didn't check the tag, did you?

They don't look like Doc Martens. Why do you have to always be right, Ellie? Sorry, I'm just high off that Eugene O'Neal thing. What you've done? Undercut me. We're going to talk about this on the walk. Probably gonna talk about BPRD on the walk-up. Yeah, I brought what I will say that like,

it is absurd to watch all these guys, you know, lip sync to these songs. But at the same time, the best part of the movie by far was like, just being like, closing your eyes and imagining you're just listening. Yeah, just listening to an album. Yeah, just listening to an album. Oh, this is a good mixtape. Here you go, you got some television,

some talking heads, here comes Patty Smith, some blondie. It could be one of those movies that has a really good soundtrack album. Yeah. But is it bad, not a good movie? Like Empire Record? Yeah, basically.

But at the end of the movie, one of you guys said like, like they had assembled the team of Hilly's helpers to like get the club back off the ground again. And one of you said they were the Empire Records group now. And like this movie feels like it's the Empire Records version of the history of punk. Where like when I was 12 or 14 or however watching Empire Records and they were like, these kids are rebellious even at that age I was like, I don't think so.

They work at this enormous store. And they don't even as a kid I was like, they kids are rebellious, even at that age, I was like, I don't think so, they work at this enormous store. And they don't, even as a kid, I was like, they're not doing any work. There's no wonder that this store is closing down. Yeah. Now, when you were 17, it was a very good year. It was a very good year. A very good year for, what's he saying about having sex

with girls on golf courses or something? I don't, I don't, is that, I think you might be confusing with Real Frank Sinatra. Oh, maybe that was it, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. Now, it was 31. That was a very good year for, is that,

is that you're the one with limousines and women of independent means? I don't know, man. Check it, check the phone. Did you, you know, the O-Ride it? I know that, it's a jump song. When I saw a fire, I I thought is that all there is? Is that all there is to a fire?

I had the same feeling about circuses. Yeah. Also life in general. Is that all there is to the story of CBGVs? Then over during the credits, well here's the, then it's like they've done this movie where you'd only be interested in it if you knew who these people were anyway. They end with one of those like now we're gonna tell you who the people were with a picture of the actor playing them in a little

by-o animal house or something but and uh... then they show it says and text when talking heads was inducted rocker hall of fame they thanked hilly crystal then the credits roll they show that moment from the rocker hall of fame induction ceremony

and it's way better than anything else in the movie. They basically summarize all the salient points of the movie, like they basically do a better plot summary than we just did. And that's all you need. Just watch the credits. You'll get the whole story. It's exciting. That's it.

Uh, so, I guess what I'm saying is, great good movie or best movie. Yeah, this is how butt guy butt. I kinda- I kinda wish we were watching a movie called Cow Butt Guy butt. Uh, I wish there was more to say about this movie, but there really is- I was hoping- so this is a different type of movie for us. I don't remember if we've ever done a movie based on fact, you know. Uh, and mortals?

Yeah, I forgot in mortals. Oh, yeah, three different rise of empire. All right. Pee. That's based on the true story of the rise in the RIPD. Yeah. The rise of the RIPD. Yeah, GI Joe, Ryza Cobra, whatever.

No, we don't want that one for fun. Yeah. Yeah, but there's not a lot there. The true story of Jonah Hex. Yeah, there's very little, but there's not a lot there. The true story of Jonah Hex. Yeah, there's very little, like, there's not a lot of substance. Is this movie finished of Finn? And any style it has is hideous.

It's poorly made. Like this is, like, I can see what they're cheap looking for. They're trying to do, like, they've got a lot of great actors in it. But they're trying to date it with occasional newspapers and television news. Like someone is literally reading a newspaper that says, Ford to City dropped in. Okay, now I know the exact day.

Let's see this. I love the bit where Hilly's about to get a car, a parking ticket from the cop. And the cops like, New York's running out of money. They're calling in their debts. We got a fake, we got more tickets. New York's bankrupt. It needs the cash. And the fact they didn't, but they didn't go to the trouble.

Did you hear there was a taking on Pellum 1230? Boy, these water gates, I don't know what to tell you. What do you got a death wish? Just like an old movie. I see what, we're seeing a real beginning of a rise of e-engine, evangelical Christianity as a force in American domestic politics. Is that real?

And you gotta know that there's Soviet unions only gotta know the 13 or 12 years left in it. There's a real malaise over the country. It was a little later. Sure. We got a whip inflation now. That was that time. And also, but at the same time,

they didn't bother to hide the fact that they're using modern subway trains in the few subway scenes. Yeah, that was really great seeing the trains that I could be riding on now. Like it's like I could go back in time to CBGB's days. Yes. So you think you guys ever go there to CBGB's?

No, I always kind of meant to because, you know, like we've said, like the music did mean something to me, although like going there would be an empty gesture because by that time it was just like another club with like a shitty bathroom. Yeah, because I went there once to see the band of my sisters then boyfriend and it was yeah without the history of the place It was like oh this place is pretty crappy. Mm-hmm. I could buy a $20 t-shirt and it's not like It's the true measure of any funk bar. It's not like I did not spend a fair amount of my like young life in New York in shitty performance spaces a work in shitty performance spaces as a comedy person. So I didn't need to seek out like

a lousy performance space for music. That's a good point. But anyway, let's move on to final joys. See, someday, some day, and the listeners will not understand anyone I'm talking about, but Dan will make a movie called Juve Hall with Alan Rickman as Eric Marce's Acre, good friend and manager of Juby Hall to come. You're about to get married this weekend. In fact, as you listen to this,

Dan and I will be in Montreal celebrating that wedding and also getting married ourselves. Dan, will you make me the happiest podcast co-host in the world? I mean, it's polygamy, but it's polygamy too. No, wait a minute.

Hold on, that joke works with you. Say, bigamy. I screwed that up. Hold on. I said that up poorly. Let's regamy too. No, wait a minute. That joke works with you say bigamy. I said that up poorly. Let's re-rack No, it's too late. We can't see like to do the dumbest oldest joke in the history of marriage jokes But yeah, I know that was a there you know good people who came out of that Tiny basement theater including yours in mind truly yeah and Sarah Schafer of MTV's Nikki and Sarah live and other things and who else lots of people anyway

We don't need to reminisce about our old our old we'll do this one. We're older. We'll reminisce about our I want to do it. Yeah, what do you basement days when you make that movie could you put some fat guy in the audience and have it be me? I just Fat stew Yeah, I'd be wearing Comedy I'm just arrived from Fort Wayne Indiana So it seems like and you'll do the same way that a cheetah comb that cheetah chroma to cameo in this as a taxi driver Who looks at the camera and goes I hate that punk shit this you'll be you'll look at the camera and you go

This is some kind of real flop house I'll never do a podcast whatever that I would still be doing it doesn't been invented yet You'll wait a minute the actor or I would get the cameo that you guys promised me. You would get the cameo, but you're in a fashion. So why would I be doing a weird impression of myself? It's because. Because we don't want people to recognize you, except for the people really in the know. Oh, okay, they have to be cool.

Maybe you'll do a cameo as Clive Owen, how about that? Hello, hello. Could I tell you about, say, Clive Barker, and I can't do that. I was just in Groupier, hello? Is this some sort of comedy place? Yeah, what would you as a Clive Barker impression? I would probably open up my books of blood and say,

do you know fear? Hi, it's me Todd McFarlane. Why is Clive Barker doing Todd McFarlane? Because it's a really extended burn on the part of it. If you were a hell-spot. So, this is the point in the podcast where I ask you a question. It's almost like we didn't like this movie. And that's a question of final judgment.

Whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, our movie kind of like, I, for part of it, was almost leaning towards good bad because it is really miscalculated this film, but by the end of it, it just got so dull. There was a certain point where I think it was like a, like a Batan death march before you just got to get into it. Yeah, I got to say bad bad. When he goes back out to New Jersey and he goes to the chicken farm and then he has a quilt around him for a little while. Yeah, just playing a cooist a guitar. But it's really great after that because it's

edited in such a way that like he's talking on the phone and then all of a sudden he's already in the room like as soon as she hangs up the phone he teleported there and then it's crazy. You said there's a scene where at that scene where he walks to his office and then it cuts to him sitting, he walks the front door of his office, it cuts to inside his office, him at the desk, and cut on action, his daughter walking in, and it looks like he transformed into his daughter as he passed through the door. Like for one moment, they hired, I forget who edited images, the Robert Altman movie, they brought him in to do one cut in the entire

movie and just make it super complicated. And that's supposed to represent that for a moment he can see things through her eyes. Rolls are reverse and he understands I have to get my shit together, I have to get everybody together and they have to give me a bunch of money. We also miss the scene where he and his daughter peed in the same fountain. They switch a root of brain-yos. Anyway, I would say bad, bad movie. It was super boring. All right, thanks, guys. Thanks for that judgment. Dan didn't ask me, but I think it was bad, too. We didn't. I mean, it was kind of an open

question to both of us. I feel like it was incumbent upon you to volunteer your feelings. I agree. You got to be your own advocate. This is like a hospital or, you know, the legal system. I can't. Sturts have a hard time in the world. Sure. They have to support themselves. So, now it's time for Letters from listeners, a popular segment. Our podcast, I sound led to believe.

And this first letter. Really hyping the letter segment. This first letter goes exactly like this. It is. You are quoting. The six reasons why Elliott Kaelin is history's greatest monster. Hold on a second. Dear flopper.

By Dan McCoy. Based on a recommendation by fellow greatest monster. Based on like greater than Dracula. Because he's pretty great. History. Based on our recommendation. What about that Imhotep guy? He's alright.

But he can like someone to see a Beatles to eat people. Yeah out of his mouth. Come on. He's just throwing up beetles on you. We can Dracula do against that. You can't drink their blood. Their beetles. Beetles are going to have blood. Turn into a mist. The beetles get all shivery and cold. Okay, that's actually a good point.

Maybe the moisture of our beetles are like, help not just anybody. Help not just anybody. Help me need someone. There's a vampire. There was, I wouldn't have been the the CBG is one of those movies. I wouldn't be surprised if partway through the Beatles just walked in, even though they were totally an agronistic to that time, like, no, it's us, four lads from Liverpool.

For me, if we live with who, we just had to play a little skiffle in your little club. Hey, it's me, GGL, and I'm going to shit my own face. And it's me, G-E Smith, with the Saturday Night Live Band. I'm also gonna shit in my own face for some reason. Lauren will let me do it on the show. Blah, blah, it's me, Ludwig Beethoven. No, Ludwig. Hey, it's me, Ause Asport.

I'm here to bite the head off of the bat. Right? That's what he did, chicken. I don't know, which one? He bit heads off a lot of things. Barbie dolls dolls a president He's ass-rated James Garfield. Yeah, it's me William Howard taft. Hilly would you be able to get me unstuck from this bathing tub? It's yeah

We reference Bill and Ted before but it's basically just Bill and Ted where everyone comes in and does their thing and Announces themselves or any satirant life sketch. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, so Too real So dear flapper is high Miguel, this is a Vantez, you know, I Was wondering if I might find I don't even have an English accent, he's Spanish. Find if I might sit at your table. Is it a show on Cotterian Highlander?

Sorry, did I give you a look? No, I'm not singing. I just want to get to the six reasons why I like to get on a six reason. I don't, that's why I'm stalling. Carl Stolling. No one can get to the long tunes in the blue. That's a Raymond Scott Stolling. Yeah, but he stole it. Carl Stolling, he used it a lot.

It was in the Warner music library. That's a powerhouse, I know. I remember reading an essay that talked about how Chuck Jones would get mad that Carl Stolling would go to the same songs over and over again. Like if there was a character wearing red. You're stalling Carl. Yeah, there's a character wearing red. He just picked a song with red in the title.

Really? There's a character wearing blue. He just picked a song with blue in the title. Oh boy. It works really well though. So based on a recommendation by fellow Prime Minister. Raymond Scott walks in, I'm getting into electronic music. I'm not playing crazy jazz anymore.

Continue. Based on a recommendation by fellow podcaster and quintessential Mac nerd, John Syracusa, I have listened through the entire Flop House archive. It's a good guy, John. Take you to that. A few months. 172 episodes later, she can date this email. I've come to one. What would you date an email? My name is, you know, on a date with a human.

I've come to weirdo. At least get one of those Japanese body pillows that has a character written, John. One in a half. One in a half. One in a half. One in a half. One in a half. One in a half.

One in a half. One in a half. One in a half. One in a half. One in a half. email that sounds appropriate for a robot body pillow. That's true, I guess. Maybe the person's name to Emile, in which case I apologize, date some name to Emile unless it's Emile Blansky, the Hulkville in the Abomination. You should date Emile Hirsch. He was the one who's gonna be the answer. Emile, Emile, that's from North Minor Northwest. Yeah.

I've come to one an inevitable conclusion elit calen is history's greatest monster here the six reasons why issue with that number one that song you just saying did you hear that yet he did not sing a song in a letter out box to five reasons i'm history's greatest monster thank you very much to the way number two despite a tempestuous teenage romance that continues to this day, not once has he brought Anne Hathaway on as a guest. It's a good point. Number three,

terrible point. And then the celebrities you do manage to get on, he disappears for. Why I think it's okay to blow off cinema legend's Sylvester Sloan is beyond me. Number four. I was wondering too, why early it doesn't stick around when I'm here. I just passed him in the stairway on the way up. It's me, Sylvester Stallone. I thought I might play with my punk band in your club here. We call ourselves the Stallone. This is Joey Stallone, Johnny Stallone.

I'm Deedy Stallone, I'm really Sylvester Stallone. Anyway, and that's Tommy Stallone will replace some of them over time. He's lie, it's me, Frank Stallone. Why can't I be in the band? You wouldn't get your hair cut in the required ball cut. Anyway, now it's my song, I don't want to win this time. One, two, three, four. I heard you singing in the film, Rhyme Stone.

I don't think you're right for us. Rhyme Stallone, yeah, that was the movie, yeah. In which I play the Rhyme River. I tell you, it was one of the harder acting parts for me because it's hard for a person to play a river. I'm not made of water. I mean, the human body is 80% water, something like that. I don't know. I'm not a scientist, except I was a scientist in the Spy Kids 3D movie, but that's besides the point neither here nor there. And I was the product of cloning science in Joshua, but again, neither here

nor there. The point is, it's hard to science in Judge Shwet, but again, neither here nor there. The point is, it's hard to play a river, unless you're playing River's Cuomo, as I am in my new movie, Weezer, the action movie. Okay, well. I'm back, guys. Yeah. I passed the best of slow on the stairway.

You are, Ryan. You're talking about Ryan Stallone, the movie, where he plays the, the, the, the, the, Ryan Gold, I don't? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, something like that. He plays rolled gold pretzels. Number four. It's about the making of those Jason Alexander rolled gold pretzels commercials.

Reason number four, Kaelin. Khan. Khan. Clearly his name is a shoddy attempt to disguise his relationship to previous incumbent. Gangus Khan. I don't know, I think you don't understand what that word means.

The jokes on you, I'm not disguising my relationship to Ganges Khan. My family was disguising its Jewishness by changing the name from Kathleen, jokes on you. Again, four reasons. Reason for that one. I don't want to chip them away. Although there is a possibility

that we have some lungable blood. So okay, it could be related to Ganges Khan. Much like the chip in my way. Although there is a possibility that we have some mongol blood. So okay, it could be related to Ganges Khan. Much like the Vialan rule. You're pretty good at falkener. Yeah, and I did lead my golden horn all the way up almost to Venice in my conquering of Eastern Europe. Number five, his obvious contempt for.

No, Vienna. His obvious contempt for his thoroughly charming and impressively knowledgeable brother, David Kaelin. I love that guy. Does he have opinions about movies? So, David, write this letter. Number six.

Finally, despite a tempestuous teenage romance that continues to this day, once as he brought Anne Hathaway on us again. It can't be too recent. I know like he said that already, but it really is the worst. All I can say is Kudos to Dan for channeling the ELIS evil genius into a bad movie podcast instead of as a natural home. The subjugation of humanity. Yours Neil, last name with help.

It has been said if you want to imagine Elliot Kaelin just think of a human face being stomped on a boot for all eternity. Yeah. That boot a Doc Martin, because I'm totally punk. So when Anne H and halfway comes on is Can we talk about cat woman or do we have to stick with like broke back mountain and stuff? I think we'll probably have to talk about we talk about havoc

Yeah, that's what I want to talk about because she has nudity in it sure not sex and other love and other drugs Yeah, that's another good one and broke back wound Okay, I, that's another good one. Amprog back wound. But only one time I'm a movie, she was nude. She's an attractive lady. Okay, I mean that's. I'm not saying she's not. I don't know what your problem is. I just say we could talk about other movies with her. Yeah, sure.

The she and red eye. No, she stabbed that guy in his red eye. That's Rachel McAdams. Okay, she's also a delight. And I talked to her about the life of red eye though. I don't get it. You're like, it's killing and murphy a monster. Cause the trailer made it seem like it was a monster.

It was like a cyborg. He's like a kind of monster. But in the movie, he's just like a dude. What's going on? His name, he looks like it should be pronounced sillian. Is that weird? It's a weird scene biscuit. I don't understand your movie.

You're even doing a bad joke. Gotta go. You're impression of see biscuit. This is the worst impressions we've ever done by far my worst alone earlier. I mean, I wasn't here for it, but. Yeah, what each other? He did that off camera or Mike of Mike.

Yeah, yeah, Mike wasn't here. Just rewind this into the lead. So this next letter goes like this, I just wanted to thank you guys for your episode on the Oogie Loves. If you would never feature it on your podcast, I would have never known it existed. Did it say at the top, read sarcastic?

Well, there's a certain word to capitalize on them. So it's like an old comic book, let me see. So I would never have caught my eye on Netflix as something to entertain my two-year-old daughter while I was cooking dinner. Thanks to that one faithful viewing, she requested it daily for a week. I often find her dancing and repeating lyrics from the songs,

and although she doesn't quite know how to pronounce her own name yet, she can clearly articulate goofy, toofy, fill up your pants. Thank you again for your part in bringing this fun into our lives. Daddy family name with hell. Now I don't know how anyone could have taken our coverage of the uglives as an endorsement of it for child viewing. Rather than a decision to madness. I believe I screamed the name of the movie out in Pinging and Anguish at the end. Yeah. That's his misreading of history. Yeah.

That guy is history's greatest monster. Look at yourself. Look within yourself. Look without yourself. Yeah. Look around yourself. Leave me down inside. There's a kid that wants to watch Ugi loves.

And you should tell that kid stuff. No, that was not. Okay. There's a child inside you that's an Ugi that just wants to be loved. You have to shoot that. Whoa, but who could kill a child inside you that's an oogi that just wants to be loved. You have to shoot that. Whoa, but who could kill a child? Only Zeus, God of the Greeks.

Kill a lot of children here. So I guess it's been a lesson in Greek mythology for you. I'm fortunate, Oogie loves parents. Yeah, the Greek God, Oogie Lovius. It was the Greek God of irritating songs and pants falling down. And juice boxes. No, that was the Greek, that was the Roman God Caprican. The Roman God of juice boxes and bags.

If you could puncture it with straw and then suck juice at it. He will come to you with a golden shower. So here's another letter. It goes like this. Dear Mr. Segway. Masterful. Dear Mr. Caleb. Seamless. Dear Mr. Caleb.

Did I just order dinner on you? Because that was seamless. Dear Mr. Caleb. Remember that time three or four years ago when you said Delaware wasn't a very good state? Fuck you. I clearly don't remember. That is all. Sincerely the state of last name with hell. Wow. Okay, that was, that was, that has been rivalry that's been building for a long time. Yeah. Delaware's given us a lot of great things like, uh...

Oh, boy. That joke in Wayne's World about boring Delaware is... There you go, yeah, thanks Delaware. They have a lack of sales tax there. It's Delaware. She's going to make big purchases. I don't know. What about Della Duck? What about Della contestants?

So what is Della Duck? Della Duck is like Della Duck. Is this some kind of artificial plastic? Della Duck was the mother of Huey doing Louis. I thought they were... wait, but I thought, hold on a second. I thought that Donald made them a lab. No, it's Uncle Donald.

John Robeerle should have made him. So, this is... Wait a minute, I found it out. Donald's sister. Scrooge in a bid for immortality. As gyro, gate make him three clones of himself as his... Three clones in a bid for immortality, as gyro gave him three clones of himself as his... Three clones in a fountain. Which one will the fountain pick?

And he eventually plans when they... Which one will survive and be the strongest, and he'll place his brain in that duck's body. Sure. Is this done? Is this nonsense? Is it done? No, it's nonsense. And yes, it's done.

OK. So last letter of the evening. Della Duck. A follow-up. To your dear firm, succulent peaches. Dan, how was Scrooge related to the ducks? Well, that was Donald's uncle. So what?

So what? There's a lot of uncle. And the duck family. There's not a lot of parents. Yeah, parent to child relationships are strange But uncle relationships are very close Dan in duck culture are children given to their uncles to be raised I don't know. I mean, there's also I mean grandma duck seems to be a a fond figure Magic a dispel now. Magic is a spell is not related No, she and a scrooge were fucking, right? Now, the last game, the long gold.

I mean, the long gold. Yes. Is the last game, the long gold reference to his old-timey medieval career? Or is he just like the long gold? Yeah, he's the long-skinned one. I'm on the gold. I think it's a pretty obvious name. Now, Dan, is it racist that all the criminals were presented as dogs?

I mean, also, all human-oid characters in those comics were also presented as dogs. So I think it just says that one segment of society is a criminal segment. As is the humans. Was that hydro dog? Was he also a criminal? That was a dark, but you're talking about it. That was a dark, but you're talking about it. It's the same shit, right?

A little launch pad McQuack was in both. So yeah, that was a dark what you're talking about it's the same shit right a little launch pad mquack was in both so yeah that was a dark we can duck villain I mean he is a is also a dog like character now launch bag mquack is a really big chin can can ducks have chins is J Leno launch pad mquack yes and he's

mags night yeah last but all the same first of time you've never seen them the same plays at the same time. That's very cool. I wonder why? I wonder if I was to rule that anytime you never saw two people in the same place. I'm Robert Siddharz,

also the same guy. Rest in peace. They must be the same person, which was like, I've never seen Bill Clinton and Sealo in the same room at the same time. They must be the same person. I've never seen Stuart and Darrell Hanna and Sealo in the same room at the same time. They must be the same person. I've never seen Stuart and Darrell Hanna

in the same room at the same time. They must be. You haven't, we hang out all the time. Oh really? Yeah, we're really into karate kickboxing. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know.

Just watching it. The original of the remake, we don't care. We're just watching together. It's just a great story. The next karate kid. It's timeless. Oh, I The next cry of the kids. Mm-hmm. Oh, I thought you said Darryl Hammond.

Yeah, I am Darryl Hammond. Yeah. So you were dancing at the Blue Aguilana? Yeah, that was me. But let's get back to it. Hey, man, I hang out Darryl Hammond. I was a button splash. Thanks.

Yeah. So, the thanks are making it pretty beat. Button splash, that's the movie about button button splash. Thanks. Yeah. So, button splash. But, it's making it pretty beat. Button splash, that's the movie about button that falls into some water. I am a, we all know that I'm a but cyclopetia. And yet, you didn't want to watch the movie cowboy,

cowboy, but guy, but, but, but there's available to us. So, your website is called But Cyclopetia. Yeah. So there's a letter, huh? This last letter. That was a lot of nonsense. I have more duct-tales questions, by the way. Oh, I can answer them, but we should probably get

to the letter. This letter goes a follow-up. Dan, what's a duck blur? It's just a duck to move in fast. OK, it seems self-evident to me. A follow-up. To dear firm succulent peaches I am the Tracy last name with held who was recently proposed to on your show

Tracy Lords. I was actually at work listening to the podcast this world on my lunch break The letter came on and at first I just thought it was witty But when I heard Dan pronounce my name in that adorable lillth of his I sought sad up straight Dan pronounced my name in that adorable lillth of his. I saw it sat up straight. Smash cut to my only half-hearing the rest of the letter between Fidze of Crying Laughter and my own impression of Stuart's Wait, what? Come on over and over. The letter was only the start of the proposal. There was a kitten bearing my ring That's adorable. Address and a serenade for my husband to be back by a mariachi band. It was the greatest night of my life. You proposed you in a sitcom? Yeah, this guy is really like sitting at a bar.

You may just look bad. I literally just took my wife to a nice place and after. I am thrilled that the FLOF House podcast was a key part of it. Thank you all so much, Dan, for your beautiful execution of the letter. Elliot, the Emmy award-winning writing for saying how good the letter was. This was a sort of an absolute thrill for Cohen. I mean, we're both Emmy Award winners of this. I mean, you've got more.

I have three times as many as you. Yeah. But, and Stuart, for that adorable and excited squeal in the background, if you find yourselves in Australia, you're all invited to the wedding. XXX, a kiss for each of you, Tracy. Yes, we watched Mordekaiser as part of our canon now. Good Lord. I wanted to watch Contagion, our country strong, to get a taste out of you, Tracy. P.S., we watched Mordekaiser in Sparta, our canon now. Good Lord. I wanted to watch Contagion, our country strong, to get the taste out of my mouth afterwards.

At least Gwyneth Paltrow's characters bite it in those movies. P.P.S., I just ordered a couple of flop house t-shirts. Not a wedding attire per se, but hunting moon outfits definitely. Definitely. Well, I mean, I think she's through the action happens. So... She's suggesting we do anything. If you're just wearing the shirt and nothing else. We should do a we should do an Australia Plod show, huh? Yeah, yeah, let's do that the flop house down under I mean I look if Australia

That kangaroo jack We make me that quickly. I just don't want to get I don't wanna get eaten by a crocodile don't you? An Alan Rickman. Mm-hmm. One of those Yahoo's serious series. Alan Rickman. He's in quickly down under, right? No.

You're meant he was, he's Australian, which is not, which he's not. Yeah, we can meet the young version of Einstein. Yep, of course, when he got all very moved to Austria. Austria, Germany? I don't know. I don't know anything about Einstein. Eagle's NPC squared. Am I right people? This guy knows what I'm right. That was Einstein's stand-in career.

Eagle's an... I know you can do crowdwork on that again. Mass times the square of the speed of light. Light in my right people. I'm right. It'll be proved in a couple years. The ladies in the audience know what I'm talking about. Hey, look, if I'm traveling on the front of a light beam, what am I gonna see?

I mean, who knows what is this? Yes, speaking of Yahoo Series. Did you ever notice how? Tracy, please explain Yahoo Series to us. Did you ever notice how if you were on a train platform and someone else is on a train, your experience of light is different? What's that all about?

I'm Albert Einstein, everybody, good night. Why would you do that pre-encore? I'd figure that'd be his best material. At least it's starting out. He hasn't become a star yet. Thank you very much for writing in. We're so happy to hear that you said yes, and that we could be a part of this magic part.

To the dress. You know, I'm not saying this magic moment. There's that singing you're conflop. Is close to mine. We'll last for Flop House. Sweeter than Flop. We're so close to the end, but you've still sent Stuart out for another beer.

That's what happens. Stuart, I'm done saying. Wait, what? But we're very excited. And maybe, you know what, maybe we will try to make it down to Australia for this wedding. We won't make it.

I mean, who knows? I mean, I'd love to do a show in Australia if we could somehow cover the cost of even getting there. Look, if we got a wedding to go to, I mean, and we get I mean, I'd love to do a show in Australia if we could somehow cover the cost of even getting there. Look, if we got a wedding to go to, I mean, and we get a date, you know, if we get a date, we have a target. You're married, dude. I'm saying a date. Yeah, your date's going to be a white time.

If we have a time that we can shoot for. Of course, time, time and space are bent by gravity, of course, it makes so much sense, that's my new closer. That's Albert Einstein. Good stuff. So now, hold on a second. What's that, your favorite B52 cell? What if?

Yeah. What if God? That was the first tape I bought, actually, good stuff. What if God didn't play dice with the universe? I think I'm on to something. What was your first tape that you bought? Good stuff, by the way, 50 years. Mine was Pills, Thrills, and Billy Akes.

By the happy mound days. Mine might have been Elastica's first album. That's the best choice of all three of us, I can say. I love the shame that album. But I feel ashamed of how ashamed I was the time of liking a band that was almost all girls and the name was in pink on the front. It was in pink.

Maybe it wasn't the tape. I mean, just the name Elastica was in pink on the front of the tape cover. If I'm a miracle, anyway. CD, I remember it was white. But that's a great album. That's also remembering even the CDs. I don't care if they ripped off a bunch of stuff from wire. It's a great album. That's us remembering even the CDs. I don't care if they ripped off a bunch of stuff from

wire, it's a great album. Everyone go out and listen to the first to last got the last cow. And nothing else by the. And this first CD I ever bought was Savvy Show Stoppers by Shadowy Man on Shirey Planet because it had the kids on the Hall theme on it. Another surprisingly hip choice.

Look, I just know what I like. Yeah. Stuart, do you know what you like? I have no idea. Can you show me? I want to know what love is. Rock of ages. Anyway, I want you to show Stu. Fucking caveman. Stu wants you to show Stu. Stu wants to feel what love is. Well cavemen didn't vent rock music. Dan, what do we do next on this stupid podcast for jerks and idiots?

And we're the biggest jerks and Idiots of all. This is the part of the podcast where we recommend movies that we like. Why don't you go because I don't think I've seen a movie in a long time. He has been on the plane. I saw a kinescope I really liked. So, since we talked a little bit about people striving for fame, I'm going to recommend a little movie that's available on Netflix called Star-Eyes. Star-Eyes is a horror movie for all you horror hounds and gorgher fiends in the audience.

I know there's a few of you. It's a, it's pretty straightforward. It's a young aspiring actress who is played a little bit extra crazy and she is, she gets offered a role, but it comes with some, some downsides because it's being offered by basically the devil. And I'm not going to spoil too much, but there's some really great stuff. Some of the friendships and relationships between the circle of aspiring actors and filmmakers

starts off as being a little bit clueling and then slowly becomes a little bit more, it seems a little deeper and is played pretty well. And then when things actually start getting terrible, I feel like all the actors' reactions are much more interesting than I would expect in a movie. And he gets super gory and awesome. So check it out. Here's what I've come up with on the fly, which is I recommend four star recommendation from Dan McCoy. No, I know, I know, this is a movie that I genuinely love, although I'm not a

star, you guys see? I'm not. This is a movie I love. I haven't seen it a while. I have the blu-ray. I've not had a chance to to watch it since I got it. Hell, right. It's a movie that I love. And it's called Screwballs. It's called Blu-ray. It's called Stagecoach. Oh, that is a great movie. By John Ford. It's up there in the top tier of my favorite John Ford movies. John Ford and Nanaly Johnson. Along with things like the ManuShot Liberty Balance and my darling Clementine and she wore yellow ribbon. Like it is, it's a great movie and it occurred to me to recommend just because I know that George Miller,

director of much more of Mad Max Ferry Road, they pig in the city has cited it as an influence in his chase films. So if you have not seen stage coach, it is perhaps the Err John Wayne Western. Oh, very much so. I mean, he had made Westerns before then, but this is the one that made him the Western star.

If you want to see a chase with the stage coach, the movie you want to see a stage coach it's a great it's a movie that holds up really well just as a fun movie to watch and a great movie although the one that doesn't hold up well is how many Native Americans they shoot death at the end but uh... hey they're under attack i guess yeah i mean if you you just got a it's one of these things we have to just go with the movie and accept okay the Native Americans are the bad guys in this thing well but even they're they're like it's like it's all done precinct thirteen where you have to assume those l.a. gang members are basically zombies

with it and the and the neighbor against her treated if anything just like this natural force that exists and it like it's they're not like they're not vilified the way they would be in other movies to still the bad guys i guess but uh... that's a really great movie so yeah i didn't realize that stageach had such an influence on George Miller, because

the story about Orson Wells was that when he was preparing to make Susan Kane, he watched Stagecoach over and over again, to kind of learn how a movie is put together. I mean, if you just want a movie that is totally artful, but also fun, that's never top. Elliot, what are we going to? I'm going to recommend a a movie I saw recently that. So CBGB didn't really capture what I think of as punk. Here's a movie that I think-

Gold Shrek. It's called Ice Age of the Dinosaurs, or whatever that thing was called. So there's a movie I saw recently, a Japanese movie that I felt captured the kind of nihilism and just like unthinking aggression of punk, a lot better, which is weird since it predates punk by about 15 years. It's a movie called The Warped Ones, directed by Koryoshi Kurohara, and it's one of these movies that's like, when Japan would take a far,

like an American film genre and do their version of it, and it would come out much more extreme and intense. So it's their version of like a juvenile delinquents with no direction on the loose movie. These two guys come out of jail who are borderline sociopaths, but they're young people who are looking for something in their life. One of them joins a gang and starts a relationship with a prostitute.

The other one is just aimless and the only thing that has any meaning for him is jazz music. He's obsessed with jazz and otherwise he's just kind of like ruining other people's lives and attacking people. He performs a pretty horrifying crime on a woman and she haunts him to try to get him to fix things in this kind of twisted sense of justice. It's a strange and unsettling movie in a lot of ways and it's shot really cool.

There's a lot of this very crisp, black and white handheld camera work and things like that. But it's, there's just this sense of like youth clawing at itself because it can't see a real way to the things it wants in life and doesn't even know what it wants out of life. And driven by the energy that they feel in this music that the mainstream of people around them see as degenerate in some way. And here it happens to be jazz. And there's a lot of scenes where, or a couple of scenes where, kind of like really smooth light jazz is playing in places. And the main character's like,

that's not jazz. That's not jazz. It gets really mad about it. So I felt, if anything, this... Were they sex scenes? Uh, no. That's when you play you play like that's when it's appropriate to have just a lot of smooth sex for the sex that's what's called the sex of phone really i don't know that yet it's an instrument that was invented by i think doctor gold foot inventor of the bikini machine

and uh... that took a whole foot and his bikini machine girl but and his bikini machine there is a there is a uh... i think uh... recently this is not really moving at all alan more one be back with his uh... third uh... captain nemo book

the one where the south america to find the nazi's recloney hittler and when it's when one of the nazi scientists in it is doctor goldfoot the vinton right here have you seen this one sir i think i found this one though. That was good, it's a good one. But anyway, the warped ones, more punk than CBGB.

Wow. Pre-existing punk. So, man, we got through it. Three great tastes. Tons of impressions. Great together. Great impressions. We're kind of like a group of rich little's. Yep. Can I be Michael Winslow?

Er, Er, I'm a rocking chair And I'm a cop He's a rocky chair who's also a cop. Yeah, yeah, he's a rocking cop That was what cop rock was about Cops are rocking don't come and rockin'. Prime shouldn't come and rockin'. You sounded kind of like a rock and tearing kind of like. Cuckoo, cuckoo, I'm a cop and a bird.

I wish my coach so had one announced himself by name, not his name as character, but also had said what his sounds were at the end of it. I don't even know how to do that. Drew, my Maurice car. I'll be the fast, the fast-talking guy from the Micro Machines commercials. I mean, it's not an invitation.

It's not an invitation. I forgot how this worked. Why don't you sign off? For the flop house, sleep tight, eat right. Don't let the bag, but wait. Don't let the Ed Beggley Jr.'t let the Ed Bagley Jr.'s bite. I've been Elite Kalen. I'm a Dan McCoy.

And coming up third, it's Stewart. Stewart Wellington. And I've done. One. God bless. Second on lemon, cold bruise. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Second one on them cold brews. Mmm.

Mmm. Second one, chillin' out. Mmm. So, guys, yeah. So, Dan, what is he drinkin' at? One of them mo-de-lo's. Mmm. Nelson Mode-de-lo.

It was Mo-de-lo. Mo-de-lo. I was Dougosevello. Mose-Alo. How was Doug Loves movies? Was there a setup like this? Devole was on the stage at Irving Plaza. Oh, wow. Otherwise, the set it was not so different. It was a live show at Irving Plaza last night.

It was a lot of fun. Yep. And was Irving there? Yeah, these boyfriend. Washington Irving, who Irving Place is named after was not there. He's been dead for about 200 years. What?

Sorry, I didn't want you to find out this way.