The Flop House - Ep. #183 - Left Behind

Episode Date: July 25, 2015

Show notes canceled on account of SUMMER.

On this episode we watched Left Behind. It's about butts, I know that's what you like. Yeah, it's about the Left Butt cheek. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. It's about time. I'm Stuart Wellington. Oh, enough of these dudes. Welcome Elliot Kaelin into your hearts. And now, for the star, Hallie Hadley.

Oh, that was a great deal. Swooping in with Kuditah. Not even an Ann featuring. No, just the Ann introducing. Or Andy introducing. So Hallie is the star of the show. What's different now that you're the star? Yeah, I guess it's a lot of pressure on you, huh?

Yeah, you're really carrying this thing. I don't know. I think I'm the kind of star that, like, you don't realize the storyline is really about at the beginning. And then on the second, you're like, why does she keep catching my attention? I mean, usually the star, you know, right away, because you recognize them. It's like a tinker-tailor-solder-spy-type situation where you know it's calling for a thuletime, because all the other suspects, I thought that was Gary Oldman.

Gary Oldman's in it. Gary Oldman. It's the quickest route. It's people that Gary unmarried. Yeah. Gary dying alone, so it's called Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman, look at your life. That's Neil Young's.

He's gone. Aronically. Malala. Okay. old man look at your life. There's a meal young. So this is a podcast. I probably don't need to reiterate that part of it. Yeah. Where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Now you listen to it. And we got a special guest for your ears. You'll never guess who it is. It's me. The star of the show. Star of the show. It's one of those shows like Blake Seven or something where the star in quotes doesn't appear for most of the episodes. Yeah so I guess I'll leave. See you later. Go. Walk, walk, walk away, walk away. How the hell was your giant vault door? Soana fix of hoverboats. Just imagine what that sounds like. This is how he travel everywhere in hoverboats.

Is that like a hovercraft or is it a boat that also hovers? Hey man. Is it like an enchanted pirate ship? It's, yeah, it's like a flying Dutchman type thing that actually flies. No, it's like a flying Dutchman type thing that actually flies. No, it's like what you travel through the Everglades way. Because I'm a buy you thing.

Yeah, it's a man though. That's why you're wearing cut off shorts. And have a big machete knife in your hand. And have a gator toothbrush. Yeah, have this gator around my neck. That's what gator. That's a lot of teeth. It's so, it's so uncomfortable, so nobly.

Yeah, she flies around in that ship that Bowser has from Super Mario World. He has a ship. It's a flying pirate ship. Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought it was the fan boat, the Bayou Billy drove around in. That's a different boat. Bowser uses that when he's on vacation.

So we settled that. We have the story of this. Okay, Bowser uses that when he's on vacation So we settled that Halle's a bayou babe just hunt and nutrient a sell their pills Big and crawdads out of the water and just sucking them down So this is the fourth most popular real swamp person. What? What was that? I use snakes for tooth. What do you like pick? You like whip them out and they stay. What do you like to freeze them?

I think it's a tooth pick. That's not. These are like, they just put a snake on a toothbrush and rub it. And afterwards it's like, it's a living. And the snake is like, no contrary to popular belief, I'm not slimy, my skin is quite dry. So use a mistooth picks. Yeah, because that makes sense. Yeah.

A real beast of the Southern wild, Haley Haggland. It's gonna say that this is the fourth most popular holiday on the Flop House calendar. After what, shocked over sure small Vembers. Yeah cage miss cage miss and now we got cage miss in July. Is it technically a different holiday cage miss in July on is the but the shattery reflection of the other the shattery reflection. Yeah, like it's the kind of shattery man on a shattery plan

Like it's the end of me. Shattery men on a shattery planet. For CD everybody. Yeah. So we watched a Nicholas Cage movie. Yeah, let's go behind. Now this is a remake of a Kirk Cameron movie. So that's where Nicholas Cage just sucked to. Up the star.

Or another adaptation of the same book. OK. Still, a book that previously was adapted into a Kirk Cameron video. Yes. And it's a, it's was adapted into a Kirk Cameron. Yes And it's a this isn't exactly a new version of Dracula. No, no, I mean, I'm not saying this is a new production of Hamlet or something like that I'm just saying the source material. I'm glad you're not saying that because this would be a very off-text Adaptational Hamlet. I do not remember the scene in the Hamlet where LART is was raptured Nor do I remember the scene where Hamlet had to land a plane

with no word from the... Maybe a Shakespeare can learn all of the things about excitement at this point. Yeah, where do you think Yerick went? What? Yerick acid? It comes out the letter. Yep.

I don't know. I mean, in the original text, there was a skull, right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's the guy who got raptured. You're everything but the skull got you. I have an option. I'm a bio babe with an accent. Now imagine if a guy got raptured and left his skull behind his head would be all soft

and mushy in heaven. It just be a brain inside of a skin. He was wearing a skull hat. He makes it. So his hat is here, not his real skull. So what Hamlet picks up that skull is to say, last for Yorick, I knew his hat for a show. This hat went out of tongue.

Yeah, he was saying, I knew him well. This was his favorite hat. I rode the back of this hat often. So just came out of this hat. And your end and his friend's a ratio is like, Hamlet, you be crazy. Anyway, so left behind. Princess be crazy. So Dan, this is one of those religious movies. Yeah, it's religious. This has to do with that crazy religion that I don't I'm not a part of. Yeah, mine. I think it's what's called Christianity.

It's the same. It's a great. Of course, it's a great angel. Yep. That's right. He's a mind freak. Angel form. So many.

So say it's the Lord unto the people that I mine. Shall be free. He performed the miracle of the freak mine and the miracle of the mind that was free. And so the Lord did make himself seeing at the Hard Rock Cafe Times Square for a long running engagement in thine theater space. I mean, Christianity, you know, there's a lot of different sects. There's a lot of different.

Hello. Wow. Yeah. How do you get so many of them? How do you get so many of them? How do you got so many? How do you think? How do you think? You're like, you sound like a kid

like in the old 1950s commercial. How do you got so many of them? Well, howdy. So this is, but this is an evangelical movie. Yeah, this is, they kind of, they took a lot of the evangelical out of this movie. Yeah, well, I mean, as I said, late in the movie, like this is the only movie where like the rapture is really a MacGuffin as a backdoor into

land a plane thriller. But we'll get to that. So should we start from the beginning? Yeah, let's it's a very good place to start. Where young college student movie explodes into your eyeballs. Smash cut to beginning of movies. Smash cut to the movie starts. You buckle on your seatbelt. Okay. Opening credits. Names fly fast and fearlessness.

One of them is Nicholas Cage. Nicholas Cage. Hence, Cage Missing July. And let's just say this at the top. I don't just say this at the top, but we give the plot. Nicholas Cage, somewhat out of place in this Relatively low budget really just movie Yeah, cuz he's he's putting in a performance. Is it the best performance? No, but isn't actual the best performance in the movie? Yeah, exactly I'm not sure of that dude who played Herman's head did a pretty good job

Look close Yeah, I'm pointing a pile of clothes. He plays Herman. Hey. Let him know I mentioned that the show is four different actors to play Herman's head. It's a very good play. Yeah, dude. I think we're overlooking the dwarves.

Stand out for a performance. There is an angry dwarf in this film, and he's pretty great. He's a real. He's an angry dwarf. Yeah, there's what him stabbing Donald Sutherland the death. So don't lunch on door. Yeah, there's what him stabbing Donald Suttle in the death. So, don't run to this. Yeah, he has an overrated sex scene with Julie Christie.

Whoa! Rated with hot dogs, so let's tell you that it was super sexy. It is, like whenever you see one of those lists of like the sexiest sex scene. Donald Suttle in the most realistic sexy. Realistic, yeah. Not sexy. I don't even think it's that realistic. What's realistic about it is that he then brushes his teeth naked after what's.

Which is very realistic about being a couple. What's realistic about it is his pasty butt that is not. Well, he didn't get a stunt butt. Yeah. Wouldn't it have been weird if he took off his clothes and then they're just close-ups of like this perfectly sculpted But like a body Yeah, it's not gonna pump you know Does that not exist at that time? What's so what's great about that

Scene is it was one of the first scenes I saw that showed kind of like casual sexuality and beautyity between it. Yeah, exactly. Like a married couple being very casually just like nude, not in a sexual way around each other, which is something I had not seen a movie before then. So don't look now, I guess, is always. So is this a peek into your day-to-day life where you're just goofing around naked? I mean, pretty much, yeah.

Running around. We need to poo and it up. They're on naked. They'll be the same poo. We're the shirt. Yeah. Right on around. Winnie the Pooh and it up. They're on the- Maybe the same pooh as a shirt. Yeah. I mean, to be here in China, you make it a lot, but he's an 18-month-old kid. I know, but I like imagine that you guys too are like, well, if it's if that's the rule.

Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Lil Rose. This is a clothing obstacle. Nothing in the rule that says I can't be naked. Turns out you're all nudist. I think we don't know about it. This isn't inappropriate until he's a little bit older

strip him off No, we don't hang out in the nude, but he's certainly why you ashamed of your body You have a beautiful body You know what you're right. Let me just show it off right now Ship and Dale getting naked in front of me. Both of the rescue rangers. There's more rescue rangers. I'll be monitoring. Oh, that little buzzing fly shit. There's the bug. There's gadget, monoray jacket. I don't know the bug. Whatever the fuck was the book ever done. I mean, to be honest, Monterey Jack is a bit of a stretch to call a rescue ranger since

only does get hypnotized by cheese and get float around by his nose and get in the way and cause trouble gadget is holding that team together yeah she's the penny of the group sure we can all agree yeah so i'll be Monterey Jack. And then you can take a chip and Dale. You're gonna be that little shit bug you were talking about. Penny had both an iPad and an I watch before any of us. That's true. Well, her dad was Steve Jobs. Wait, so who is in special?

Wait, he was her uncle. He was her relationship? He was your ugly gadget. So gadget is Steve Jobs's brother. Yes, Steve Jobs's original name was Steve Gadget. And he thought it was two on the nose. So he said, well, I'm creating many jobs with my company. Help me Steve Jobs. So his brother must have gotten shot up in a Robocop style ganglion.

It's the same. And Steve Jobs is like, I'll fix him. I'm gonna be better than that. The official backstory of Inspector Gadget is that he was injured by slipping on a banana peel. Oh really? That's canon. Oh.

Canon films. Going global. I know I like the thing that Steve Jobs and Steve Gadget, but he wanted to move away from his klutzie family and he was applying for a job and I was like, so you say you want the job, huh? What's your name? My name's Steve Jobs.

Well, I like that name. That's the name of a winner. Makes me think of a working man. I like it. I'll hire you to be a tech visionary. You're gonna wear turtlenecks and never actually invent anything on your own. Whoa.

Too. So many hot takes tonight. Yeah, I know. We're just ripping out. We haven't even really talked about the movie very much. Okay, so the movie starts with... ...D-Rail the End. ...So easily done. College student Chloe Steele.

...Sexy Spies, something. No, she's a college student and bootleg Veronica Mars. Sure. She has just flown into what is continually called New York. By the way, how do you just pull that some notes, which I'm very excited to get. I'm very excited to get here. Glowy Steel flies into from college. She goes to the University of Central Arkansas, which we know from her sweatshirt.

Now, Chloe flies into what is identified as New York, even though it is clearly the smallest city in the world. Maybe it's in the Midwest, maybe it's in Canada, we don't know. To surprise her dad. Probably in Eastern Europe or something. Yeah, to surprise her dad. Oh, there'd probably be more machine guns. And half the cast would have been kidnapped. Did I mean the filming?

Her father, Rayford Steel. Okay, that's a name. Rayford, that Rayford is Nicholas Cage's character's name. It's like someone tried to say Rayfine's and like jammed it all together. It was great as that is, he named his son after him, Raymy Steel. Yeah.

Oh, Sam Raymy Steel. Now, she wants to surprise her dad for his birthday, but he's busy. He's got to fly to London. She is mad at her mother because her mother, Lea Thompson, has got... That's sexual to duck, man. That's actual sex with how are the duck?

Back to the future in the city with Caroline. No, she's... It was true love, okay? She's very strange. Which time? God wouldn't judge it, yeah. Or her and that guy, she was engaged through on that show.

Because that was shout-out, lay with duck as that woulds with man or woman. He wore a condom, dude. Yeah, doesn't have a penis. He wore clothes. He must have had a tiny- Clothes make the man. Ducks have weird retractable corkscrew penises.

There's no way that are specifically designed to go with duck vaginas. There's no way that was pleasurable for her. You feel such like every animal's penis. Did you look at like this? I have to deal with one at some point. Did Lucasfilm put out an incredible cross-section for how are the ducks peeing?

Inside you can see his retractable penis. Well, the corkscrew might be ribbed for her pleasure. You don't know. I doubt it. Yeah, because when you put on a ribbed for a or condom, it feels like a corkscrew. Now, here's the thing. I've studied every animal's genitals in case I have to defeat them in a competition of some kind

or a physical battle. Someday, if a bear penis comes at you, you're going to want to know how to block it and defeat it. So wait, does that work? The phrase screwing comes from the corkscrew penis. No, I don't think so. I don't think I think being on the side of it spinning around like you had to screw himself into the vision yeah like bazooka joe doing a fucking flip tape yeah just how did the ducks feet flying out

and all like a fucking propeller like pop the orgasm out he spins it and when he pulls I don't know what we're talking about. It's a work-gasm. Now we're about 10 seconds into the movie. Leah Thompson's character is known a 180 from her duck fucking days, and she is now a hardcore evangelical Christian who's always trying to get her family to convert. That includes her daughter, college her husband the pilot who is trying to who is hitting on a uh... stewardess who doesn't know that he's married

and his and their son who is this kind of nerdy little kid reamy now uh... clowy catches her dad hitting on the stewardess and she is not happy letting her where his hat. His pilot's hat, which is like pinning someone or giving them the varsity jacket. They're going steady. It's the opposite of a cuckold's horns. No.

Now, at first, she's pretty understanding because she thinks that her mom's religion has pushed her dad away as it's pushed her away. And we know that she's a rationalist and not religious because when she runs into a famous investigative reporter named Cameron Buck Williams, while he's being harassed by an evangelical at the airplayed by one tree hills, Chad Mike Hummery, she steps in and says, Hey, if I would God allow all sorts of bad things to happen, why wouldn't he come in and stop them if you know they're going to

happen and blah, blah, and so forth. And it's one of those moments for you to be like, it's a great timing though, right? Cause you're like, I know, yeah, cause the rapier's about to happen in the tribulations. Yeah. Where you were, that is a coincidence. Watching it, it was like, it's weird. It's weird. Watching it, it was like, I know that she is gonna be

proved wrong by this movie, but she sounds so rational and reasonable right now compared to the face of the girl. I mean, other than the fact that she like just picked a fight with somebody in airport, it's not like she punched her. No, but like she started, she intentionally like jumped into an argument in there. Like, have you ever jumped into an argument in an airport and had it turn out well? You like, oh, no, it's a frigid side monster.

Well, if someone, I heard someone saying you look like a Frankenstein and that guy had bolts sticking out of the neck. I make, I make the case known. Most of my arguments in the airport are with airport employees. So not to get too far ahead of ourselves, but I will say that one thing I kind of admired about this movie is for a religious movie, it did present like the atheist characters. Not unreasonable people, like good people at heart,

like in the movie seemed concerned about whether they lived or died. Or at the very least redeemable if they like use drugs or are an angry dwarf. Exactly. Do you think even the most important character is very positive in it? Yeah, I feel like was this really a religious movie? Because it feel like it like... Well, let's see that it's a sci-fi thriller. I know, but it doesn't seem to like glamorize the...

I mean, it doesn't seem to like, you know, make those characters the heroes or anything. It's more like they disappear Right, but it's more just like this is us live in real life down here on the planes that are crashing All those jerks up and I haven't Yeah, I think with the I think the original movie the books are very much a niche market thing Although they sell you know millions of copies and the original movies I think before that for that market. My assumption with this movie was they said, we're going to tell this story in a way that attracts the non-religious audience.

Did they accomplish that? No, they didn't. But like, so I think you're right that they like downplay the religious angle a lot. They don't make it as black and white. These characters are bad people because they weren't devout Christians. I mean, they actually, the only people who are religious in the movie who aren't, the only people who are raptured who are religious and not like those people are totally annoying. So like all the kids are raptured and they're irritating. The kids aren't irritating,

but like the two people, the mom and the lady at the airport who are supposed to be religious, they're like, portrait is like totally annoying. Yeah, so basically it's like, I think the message is like, why do you want to go to heaven? Because people up there fucking suck. So you're gonna get more fun down here, bro? Yeah, when the party pops pop them off. Pop some bottles. Well, we can we can skip ahead to we can skip the hard to get you two tickets that are delivered from airport employees. So 20 minutes for to give to Nicholas Cage. Yeah, like when it's a band in 2014. Look, if you if you go if you want hard to get tickets, here's you have to talk to a guy driving a little buggy around in the airport. He's got the book up.

It feels like 20 minutes of the movie. People move for him. Exactly. They jump out of the way or they jump onto the back of his thing with their hoverboards. But like, I feel like 20 or 30 minutes of this movie goes by and we're trapped in this limbo of an airport and only four characters have been introduced and it's terrible. Yeah, man love actually is all around. You learn that at airports.

I guess your movie was so good. But that's a movie that's like 10 silver characters. Oh, I thought you were talking about love actually. I thought you were talking about the terminal. I was talking about airport 77. Oh yeah, that was the one where they all leave the airport and go see Star Wars in the theaters. I thought you were talking about that planes animated movie Yeah The same I say will the cars but by some place here. I know you're talking about cars the band with Rick O'Kasek Yeah, I thought you were talking about my car that I had in high school The sitcom my mother the car guys

I think I'm gonna sit kind of my mother of the car. I'm gonna sit kind of my mother of the car. I thought you were talking to my mom. Yeah, our mom who's the same person and is a human woman. Oh boy, if you guys were twins. I have a twin sister. I'm calling. Sorry, the physician's taken. I didn't even want to be your twin.

No, can't believe you're making a hailey cry right now all over her alligator necklace. I saw what you wrote on your notebook at school. Elliott and Halle Caelin and then parentheses, not Mary, just siblings. That's why they called them alligator tears. Back to the other thing that he said before about me crying on my alligator thing.

Yeah. So look. This thing moves too fast. Let's give it a little bit. In the words of all town. It moves too fast. We don't have time to look at one another. Just like in our town, my favorite play.

But look, if you don't stop and smell the roses every once in a while, then something for us, Bueller, sit. Yeah. Something, something for us, Bueller, Cameron. So let's skip ahead, shall we? Eventually, we get to a point where Nicholas Cage is playing as in the air flying to London. And his daughter Chloe is at the mall with her younger brother watching an amazing break dancing group. One member who actually slides the floor on his head. No, that was amazing. Was there a stunner? Was that real? I have to say there's all animatronics. A stunt is real. How do you...

Shall I get like CGI? That's not gonna be fun for more stunts. It's gonna be fun to move CGI stuff. Yeah. Okay. People are performing with a fucking ball suit or whatever. Yeah, I can see. I'm not apse.

I'm considering these special effects of the plane crash later. I'm gonna say that was a real thing. They just happened to catch on camera. Or they blew their budget all on the guy sliding across the thing on his head. They were buying the computer animation as they shot the movie in sequence. They spent an all on one background break dancer. They're like, well, anyway, her brother. Honeywell spent.

Her brother disappears. And what I swear, I thought was a puff of blue smoke, but maybe it wasn't. And something else. It sort of collapses. Well, it looks like she hugs him too hard. Yeah. It doesn't look like she hugs him so hard it's clothing collapses in on itself.

And then on the airplane, all the kids disappear and some of the random other people. There's a lot of craziness. People are going crazy. They don't know what's going on. They try to break into the cockpit. Nicholas Cage is out of the cockpit at the time and his co-pilot, William Ragged's Dale, from Herman's head.

And we didn't even talk about all this time. Warmanigan 2 on the move. Yep. We're justified. We're justified. Yeah, ladies season. I Tuggy's terrible on their their I guess tin joints. I don't know. Yeah, it's real human down there. Yeah, robot givens. So, everyone's going kuku crazy, because they don't know what's going on. Society collapses almost instantly. The mall goes ape shit. And people are looting, cars are exploding, and Chloe has one run in after another

where a piece of transportation tries to kill her. First, it's a little like two-seater playing that almost matches into her. No, it's first a car I'll win and it's a car first It's a car that flies through the doors the mall then it's a two-seater Well fucking sandpiper plane goes right for her car Giving your just enough time to roll over the hood like the whole movie should have been just bigger and bigger type of Yeah, basically until like a submarine almost hits her. Well, little school bus falls over and overpass and almost hits her.

And then the climax of the movie is her running away, spoiler alert from the giant plane that her head's flying. So that's her arc. Now, we've briefly before the reaction. Just a metaphor for her dodging her face, which is the whole thing. Oh, you're right. You're right. Because I'm going to like a freight train that thing no no like a plane like a freight

Some kind of cargo plane Now they've introduced some of characters on the plane before the rapture. I'll admit it there's a colorful cast There's a Muslim guy flakes on a plane There's a Texas millionaire who's always talking business There's an angry dwarf who does not like anybody There's a little girl's the daughter of a football player. There's a some fat guy with glasses. And her mother is played by former American idol Jordan Sparks.

That's true. It's full of stars. Battlefields Jordan Sparks? Yeah. Oh man, this movie must have been inside the stargate that they've fallen fluent too. Because my god, it's full of stars. So the, I should have said, Kier Dullia, that would have been, that would have made him more clear.

Yeah, sure. Anyway, so, but those characters are given a very, we spent delay, talk about delay, say those forever to talk about this movie. So here's the thing, we spent a ton of time in the airport with the most boring characters. We got a couple minutes on the plane with this kooky colorful cast

And then it's like the one English person on this light to London. Oh, the John He was a drug addict and Where's a tank top but spend a lot of time as highlighted more and more as the movie goes on But she spent a lot of time in Christian camps as a youth so she's the only person who knows that the rapture is happening Yeah time in Christian camps as a youth. So she's the only person who knows that the rapture is happening. Yeah. There's also an old lady who is totally senile and her old husband and the husband is raptured and the lady is not.

It's so fucked up. So you're just left to wonder like, she's been trying out this bitch too. Yeah. Well, let's turn. Turns out the Alzheimer was a curse from God. Yep, the horrors of my actions have caused me to forget myself.

I like to believe it's a mixed marriage. He's Christian and she's a Satanist. I think this was like a definitive statement that anyone who has Alzheimer's is being punished by God. So if you know anyone who has Alzheimer's, they've got a secret. They say goodbye to him because you're not going to see him in heaven.

That's your short. Here's the thing. We learned some rapture rules. All kids go to heaven. because you're not going to see him in heaven. That's your short. Here's the thing. We learned some rapture rules. All kids go to heaven. All dogs. Some laughing rules. Do not go to heaven. Yeah, we saw a dog.

He didn't go to heaven. No, but it's owners clothes. We're sitting right next to it. We're going to get all frog good to heaven. Yeah. Old people. Not confirmed. Not definite.

Yeah. And you mentioned the owners clothes. We didn't see any cats. There's certainly no cats. They're all in heaven. One of the things that's great is how every single set that has a person's clothes, it looks like somebody like took the time to set the shoes out right,

like tuck the pants in the shoes. Like, that's what this person would've been doing. And when they're living, their pants were tucked into their shoes. Yeah, that's what Christians do, Dan. So there's a lot of trouble. All kids get raptured automatically. Yeah, you think hardcore Christians,

they tuck their pants in their shoes just in case they get raptured and it looks like. So their pants don't fly away. This movie would have been a lot more interesting if there was just one kid who didn't get raptured. You can see it was good. Yeah, he was going to be like, it was the kid from like that, like good son. Bad guy.

Yeah. Wait, which one? Elijah Wooder and McCulley Golga. Well, Elijah Wood's the bad one. No. What was the bad one? Wait a minute. What makes you think he's bad?

Well, he doesn't need to throw that mannequin over the over-patch. I think we just found something disturbing about Elliot. Yeah, Elijah Wood's the one who doesn't want to do that cool friend, but they throw that mannequin over the overpass. I think we just found something disturbing about Elliot. Yeah, Elijah Woods, the one who doesn't want to do that cool friend, but they throw the mannequin over. My god, he got me just misunderstood. Or it's child Hitler. Child Hitler. Child Hitler.

Just like a adorable little kid. It must have been a Johnny Rodney. But don't think if there was one kid who didn't get raptured, all the people who are left over have an obligation to murder him because he's found to be a terrible person. Yeah. Now I'm just thinking about child Hitler's adventure. Mm-hmm.

People hold bad. My teeth are actually less than a thousand views. So with anyway, he's a girl. He has teeth are. Anyway, so there's two parallel stories here. Chloe's trying to find her brother. She goes to her mom's house and her mom has raptured away while taking a shower,

which means Lady Thompson's just nuding it up in heaven. But I guess they all are, because all their clothes get left behind, which, wait a minute. So that's a really nice orgy up there. If it, come on, if it's, if Heaven's gonna live up to its billing. Yeah.

If you read the divine comedy, Heaven is just everybody sitting looking at God, loving it the whole time That sounds super boring, but their original sin got taken away so they don't feel ashamed of their bodies, right? But I thought Christ's whole thing was that he cleansed the earth original sin, right? Then why are we all wearing clothes good question? Let me take mine off right now. Oh, it's Jim and Dale Chip and Dale. Chippendale's recipe ranges. So, okay, this is the first one.

Left behind refers to their clothes being left behind. That's right. Left behind. Oh, my wallet was there too. I love it. I'm not going to be able to get into that. I heard you. You can leave your clothes behind, but take your visa card because heaven doesn't take

American Express. No, someone left his visa. Don't you remember? I think that's Cagefine's William Ragsdale's. Like a stock photo visa. They're all up there at the... 1985 visa. At the heaven bar and they can't give me...

They can't give me drinks. No, we can start a tap. Maybe that's God's big scam is that he takes them without their clothes and then they've got to buy heaven clothes that inflated prices Like when you buy a He has to get a buy them with like heaven bucks that you can only get from like going to a David Buster's there's some shit Yeah, no everyone's like these are just robes. I could use some sheets Where are you gonna get the sheets? There's one game in town if you read if you read between the lines of my dude

New Testament you know that David Busters is the one place to get heaven bucks. But what do they do to pay for the to play the games at David Busters? Oh man, you don't want to know. No, you did not want to know. All right. Because we don't know. It seems like you kind of want to know. Yeah, okay, well, Dan Teller, because I don't know.

I forget. Great. Anticlimax all around. There's two plot lines. Chloe's looking for her brother and Nicholas Cage is trying to land this damn plane. He wants, he's tired of this mother fucking rapture on this mother. You flies it one way and then turns around and flies another way and then you land. Whether running it up fuel, they crack, they slam into another plane that has no pilot and they keep going. Chloe finds God after having a very awkward

conversation with a pastor who did was not raptured. She sees that great sign that says the end is near and they've crossed it out and written here. Yep. I like to believe that someone was being raptured and he was like, well, God, one second. And then he changed the sign, okay, bring me up big guy. Well, because that's the thing about him done. That's the thing about like apocalypse movies.

Apocalypse movies, everyone, like the first thing they want to do is start like graffitying everything and like go over to the population sign of the city and cross it off. There's always graffiti that says like get out or like it's over or something like. But society. Because they live, guys. Society is. I don't even know who they are in this case. More Banksy?

Yeah. I think it was a Banksy. It was a banksy. It's all over the place. I don't even need to hide anymore. It's so many stencils. It's gonna be expensive. Everything's gonna get Banksy'd.

It's just shepherd fairy obeyed things everywhere. Okay, so society's falling apart. People are dying, cars are crashing into each other. People are just robbing and shooting all over the place. The rapture happened roughly 25 minutes ago, and already people are going nuts. Civilizations can't handle it, which is weird because not that many people get raptured in the movie.

So you'd think civilization would be able to absorb that loss pretty easily. Yeah, because they said millions of people got raptured, but how many people are there on earth? Six billion, roughly. Exactly. So if we're in the millions, we're not even getting high in numbers. It's a drop in L bucket O, which is howling those are Spanish for the bucket. Can you confirm that? That actually means something else. Oh, really bad. I can't even say I'm a spiked. Have you been saying that to people?

Just to the guys who made this and the janitorial work at the show? Oh no! Hopefully they're not f**king up their safety checks. I wouldn't touch your plays in trash can with the bomb and tomorrow. I want to make it clear that that's not a racist comment on LA's part that's just a factual comment about the nationality of our office or all native Spanish speakers.

That's right. I'm not ashamed of saying. Okay. I guess I'm having a conversation. I guess I'm the only member of the silent majority who's willing to say the truth. Anyway, Chloe is going to kill herself. She's going to jump off the top of a bridge. She's found me. That's how you get to heaven, right? Yeah, I think Stan? Stan? Yeah, suicide is the one sure far away to get to heaven.

I thought she was trying to get closer to her mom so she could deliver the message. Uh, maybe she's just climbing the top of a bridge. Hey, heaven, can you hear me now? That's why I go to the top of the freedom tower. What? Is it closer to heaven? Yeah, so I get as high as possible. Well, it's weird, because I've always thought that to get closer to God, I have to fuck me like an animal.

Ha, ha, ha. It was not been working. Ha, ha, ha. I'm gonna keep trying, you know what I'm not gonna stop. I'm gonna keep trying. You know what they say? Try trying again. Well, I'm like, rotten and spitten.

Like chip and nail or wrestling over those pork true penises? So many callbacks. Now, tensions are high on the plane. The dwarf and the Muslim got in a fight. The dwarf isn't asshole. We got into the plane, Jurg. And Dan, you said you did admire. I was being precinctious. You said you did admire

that the dwarf is a jerk. Yeah, I feel like I feel like any other movie would feel the need to like make the dwarf character like Like a saint and I like the movie that what movie has ever done that? Yeah, I mean like we already mentioned Dill look now. I Guess that's true, but I feel like a movie I'm asking in this modern era I guess I, but I feel like a movie, I'm asking in this modern era. Well, we can't risk the idea of like the dwarf being the bad guy. Rather, like this movie actually treats the dwarf as a human being who might be an asshole. I love the assumption is that we've transcended any like negative stereotypes.

We have about dwarves and we're on the other side and it's now progressive to portray them like Yeah, I mean just feel like the casting did not seem to care like whether this was like a like a full-sized actor or this Being a How is it? Someone try to help him put his bag in the overhanging The first one is about like someone trying to help him put his bag in the overhig apartment. Alright, you've turned me around on this. I will say that the Muslim character rather than being he's not raptured. Clearly the movie's stances, he believes in the wrong God, but he's like the nicest character in the whole world.

And he looks kind of like Jeremy Sisto. Didn't you guys find the line problematic at all when someone's like looking in through his bag? And he's like, a terrorist could never do this? As if like, yes. He's an expert on terrorism, I guess. It's like, I see, like that he would be synonymous with terrorists and even he would accept premise. Terrorist problem. Terrorist I know would kill for a rapture device. I did like that this movie blew the lid off the, since centuries old rivalry between Muslims and dwarves. Yeah, it's been going on beneath the surface for so long.

They've had each other forever. Yeah, that's the whole subject to Game of Thrones, I think. Yeah, I think, I think in Anthony Bourdain's first book, he was talking about how in a kitchen, you can't hire Muslims and dwarves to work in the same kitchen. No, yeah. A little coming to blows. That's why I was snow white in the Seven Dwarves.

And not what Snow Mecca is. A little comb to blows. That's why I was snow white in the seven dwarves. And not what snow mecca. And I'm scared. I'm not a person. That's what I'm saying. Not snow white in the seven Persians? Yeah, that's right. OK.

I got into a weird area. Yeah, I don't understand what you're saying. I don't know. Can I continue with the real plot? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Let's terrible about races. No, man, get back to how much you hate dwarves. Yeah, no, yeah, yeah. Let's get terrible about races. No, man, get back to how much you hate dwarves.

Oh, boy. So we're going to get letters. Yeah, then I can sing a song about them. Yeah. So the characters are flying around forever. Chloe's running around forever. Chloe manages to get a phone call on the satellite phone from her dad. And he says, we need a runway.

And she decides she's going to clear off the east west highway need a runway. She decides she's gonna clear off the east west highway to the mall. Yeah, it's over by the mall. Famous New York landmark and so that they can land on that using as a landing strip. Anyone planning to visit New York should check out the mall. But also, were you guys pointing out like I didn't hear the thing, but were you guys pointing out a problem with they couldn't land because of the water, but you were like, I couldn't, well, he said something. You made a point of saying that JFK is surrounded by city, and if he can't find a landing strip,

he's gonna crash the plane like a missile into Queens, which there's a lot of problems with that statement. Yeah, I wouldn't need just try to land, like instead of being like fuck this just gonna miss a little bit by this point is pretty tired of being in the movie so we've also skip that nicklaus cage has come to the same conclusion by rifling through his co-pilot's clothes and seeing that he's a christian and also rifling through the clothes of a flight attendant who was raptured out he realized oh no it must have been the rapture because all of people who

were taken were Christians. So he knows what happened at this point. So I have a question for some reason also the rapture has interfered with the satellites around the earth making their phones not work properly. So I guess the satellites also believed in Christ. Anyway, continue. So my question is so he realizes that Herman's head is a believer because his watch has John three or John three sixteen on it.

I think that's a wrestling thing. No, yes, it's Steve. He's a Steve Austin. No, I know it's a big thing, but what is it, Dan? What is John three sixteen? Believe in me and you'll have eternal life, right? Why does Stone Coldz, Steve Austin talk about that? Well, he has Austin 316,

and I think is no your role. He's because I grew up in the church, does not mean that I actually, literally you were an orphan who was found by Quasimodo. Yeah, that's great. You raised in the bell tower. Should we call you dad and ask him what that means? No, I don't think it's John, is it Matthew 316?

No, it's John. Oh, I'm on my head now because no one will tell me what it means. Well, I'll just look it up right now. It's not like we have a little phone computer. It's the it's the verse there. I can't I know. So John 36, for God so love the world that he gave is one and only son. That's what it is. That whoever believes in him shall live forever. Yeah. Yes, it's about Jesus. It's from the New Testament. All things about Jesus. It's the one about Jesus cursing a fig tree and the fig tree will take. It's the part about and so Jeb a die of a get Jeb a sire. It's the one where the guy curses children who are calling him bald and bears come out of the woods and kill the children, which is an actual verse. Yeah. I love how you know that one.

And that's the one that everyone has tattooed on this. That's the best verse. So John 3 or 16. Where is there a fig tree in that verse? What I have another fig tree. John 3 or 16 is what you would call the New Testament's log line. It basically summarizes the gist of the whole thing.

Okay. Jesus. Yeah, that's what it is. The watch word is Jesus. If you've got one take away from this, it's Jesus. Yeah. So that's why you had that on his watch? Yeah.

Because I don't know, he looks at his watch a lot. Well, the problem is that he's like, he's like, oh, I'm so caught up in my life. What time it's Jesus time? No, no, he looks at it and he goes, whatever he always thinks, what time is it? 316. Oh, shit.

No, it's like 445, I'm sorry. He's just late for a point. I'm so late. Oh, is it 316? Oh, I was supposed to wake him up at 6. Oh, okay, here we go, it is. Yeah, he's like, let me look at this, ironic watch I bought as a goof.

So totally not a Christian. God checks everyone by their watch. Yeah, he's so God. I got him. I got him. I got him. He got up there and he're like, no, God, that was totally a goof. I run it late. He said, you got me. I'm good. Why he's stick around. There's all these himch. We need a joester in here. There's all these hipsters with Jesus. My home boy T-shirts

that are in heaven now. And they're like, wait, what? Wait, they got to keep the T-shirts. Yeah. So they're, they're winning the pooing up there? Yeah, they're winning T-shirt with no pants, which is somehow worse than being naked. Go. Go. Trucking neck, come on. Oh, look. Also, their heads are all stuck in the honeypots.

They're winning. They're winning. So she goes and she uses a truck and a motorcycle and a steam roller to clear up to clear this highway of debris. She lights a huge bunch of barrels of flamboliquid on fire so that they have a- That's the kind of sign a Nicholas Cage can file. They have a beacon.

She's like, she's Nicholas Cage is like, I need a point of light so I can find it. Say it more like Nicholas Cage would say. I need a point of light so I can see the runway. What do you think, Dan? I do like HW Bush making a thousand points of light. Need to see the thousand points of light. I'm sorry. I can see the runway.

Good stuff. Come on, throw it down. What else is gonna be this light? I don't know. I'm doing it like Kate Bush. I don't know who I'd sound like, but I need that runway. Now do it like the bush in my friend yard that I grew up with.

Russell, Russell in the wind, Russell. Perfect. Thank you, thank you. I actually spent a lot of time with that bush trying to get its voice pattern sound. You did a bush along. Walk a bush. I'm a method busher. So she starts flashing the brights on the truck and she's like, I'm flashing my brights

is that help? And Nicholas Cage is like, no, honey, I need something bigger. And you know in his head, the character's like, my daughter is an idiot. He's like, don't make fun of her. She's trying. Well, and she and the co-pilot says, he says, she's like, I think I'm glad he's graduated fucking co-pilot Scans the reporter who we haven't talked about but he has a crush on Nicholas K Just daughter and he's spent most of the time so far he can't stop thinking about it since he started in the airport One tree when the even when all this stuff other stuff is going on that he definitely should be thinking about Chloe up to right now. Is she thinking of me?

One tree hill is mainly been sticking. He's doing a heart son, his notebook. He's mainly been taking camera footage of clothing sitting on chairs. Sticking his camera in the face of mothers grieving for their disappeared children who are like, hey, what happened here? Tell me.

But it's so funny because he's like, I gotta get this footage. And it's just literally clothes lying on chairs. Good be. It's just funny because he's like, I gotta get this footage and it's just literally clothes lying on chairs. Good be, it's just a messy apartment. Oh, but also I love the moment where the, so the woman that he's like bothering in particular whose baby disappeared, how she freaks out eventually and she's like, we have to turn the plan back.

We have to go back to the place where the baby disappeared because it's like, yeah, the baby will be in the fucking like it'll be there. Yeah. She thinks that there's not like a flight plan on her. We're like undead that Australia and Zambi movie where all the people are like floating in. Okay.

And I haven't seen that one. Don't worry about it. It has to do with floating people in the year. I mean, that sounds great, but so He said she said I'm only made a clear 910s of a mile and he's like that's fine That's fine and not copilot the reporter. It's like that's not gonna be enough Is it and he's like yeah, but if this doesn't work I don't want to make her feel like it was her fault even though it was totally her fault

She failed in her mission, but everything turns out okay even though their landing gear gets clipped by some electric power lines. He rips the fuck off. They land that crash land on the plane. Everyone's safe. They get out and they see the city in front of them burning. Smoke rising from it. And either one tree hill or Nicholas Cage says, oh, I'm glad that's over. And Chloe says, no, this is just the beginning. Cut to credits. There's a song about how you better be ready because Jesus is going to rapture you. But you didn't you skipped the comic relief moment where the Muslim guy pushes the

pushes the dwarf down the envelope. For those listening when Halley said the word Midget, she literally flinched with embarrassment at having used the wrong term. Yeah, but it was. I make mistakes all the time. Just blame it on the beers. I've never had a sip of alcohol. Oh, wow. Somebody's trying to get raptured over here. She's really raptured, huh? I think you guys think God listens to your podcast.

I mean, God... His eyes on the sparrows. I know he listens to the podcast. Don't talk about birds. I got attacked by a bird today, people. He had to tell that. Okay, we got about two hours to hear the bird's story. No. It all started with a dog fashion, Jim. That was your story, Stuart.

This Stuart Wellington story started with a dog fashion. My parents met at a dog fashion. So how you walking down the street in a bird attack, do you? Wow, you really ruined that story. Working quickly. Is there a word to it? Yes, it attacked me and I ran away screaming. And then it attacked me again twice. You made the enemies with the wrong bird.

I can do anything. I love birds. Maybe the way you were running was provoking that bird. Yeah What I said maybe the way you were running was provoking that bird You're right and I was dressed in very short running short You're like that. I don't know. I'm fairly not. This was a real Bible something bird I think this bird was about to be raptured I just dressed like a pine cone that had been

with peanut butter on it and seeds on that peanut butter. So I think, I mean, that's really gonna try to brush your head and job interview. I thought it's gonna look my best. You gotta dress for the job you want. I was being interviewed by Kevin. So we should ask the segment, is this a good bad movie? A bad, bad movie or a movie we kind of like, I'm going to say that it's marginal, but I'm

going to give it a good bad movie. It's pretty silly. I wish it was a little silly, especially with Nicholas Cage's performance. He's doing a incredible job. He's really, he's like the, he's like the, the rock on which he'll build the church. Yes. I'm gonna say like the anchor. Like he's so stable compared to the rest of the movie. Yeah. And you want him to be crazy, but it's, it's in the tradition of big name actors doing movie roles where they're sitting down for most of the performance. Like he's, he's doing an okay job, but you want him to be crazy. But yeah, I would say good bad also.

What do you guys think? What's them? Oh, go ahead. Uh, uh, uh, no, no, no, no, no. Scarely dumbness. Or good bad. Uh, yeah, I guess I'll give it a good bad. It was goofy enough.

I wish it went a little bit faster and I wish it got a little bit crazy Crazier there's a few too many scenes of the daughter Chloe steel just wandering around this town and I wish they'd I wish they'd made New York City just a touch more crazy Yeah, that I mean there's one scene where a guy who looks like a jugalow is thrown out of a window and then a guy who is like some kind of- Looks like Donald Logan. That looks like Donald Logan, but like with shoulder length kind of like Elizabeth and hair, but it sounds like Donald Logan.

He looks like Renaissance reservoir dogs. Sure. He puts a shotgun in her face and it's this glimpse of the crazy movie it might have been. And there was that scene in the nursery at the hospital where there was a whole bunch of raptured baby clothes and then one crazy lady who was like they took them. They took all those babies. I think they called it. Yeah, while we're watching at Dan's like, oh, and there's like a crazy person who's like, they took all the babies. Where did the babies go?

Allie didn't get a judgment. What do you think? Well, is there a middle of the movie? Bad, bad movie. Or there was just bad, bad movie, good, bad movie, or movie kind of liked. Movie kind of liked. I thought it was in the middle.

I wouldn't say it's a, well, Wow, there were definitely moments during this movie, Hallie, where you were like, this movie sucked. That's what I'm saying. I fucking hate it. It came around. Well, it. It came around. Well, exactly. It came around.

But it was 110 minutes long and not much happened in it. It is very slow. Yeah. It has like three locations. I think it's weird because it's so it's based on the first part of a 16-part book series. Space on Paradise Law. It's not on the first part of a 16-part book series. It's based on Paradise Law. It's not like they let a lot of material, but they really wanted the rapture to be the one thing that happened in this movie and then the plane crash.

Yeah, there's not a lot of other stuff that happens. But it also just made me sad how terrible Nicholas Cage looked. It was like when you see a building that's being dressed for a set and they like make a face, like a fake façade on it because it was like his hair was clearly fake. He was wearing blue contacts like it just looked like he was such a shell of a like shriveled man beneath all of these physical props. Now I'm sad. Yeah, little mommy underneath it all. A tie is a pedantic person.

I think when he pronounces these words, it's in a very show offy way. Gyro. E-ro. Sacrifice. Sacrifice. Air's rock, ullaroo, what you are witnessing is real, the participants are not actors, they are actual litigants with real cases, they call in via Skype to judge John Hodgman's court, the real people's court.

Now I call you to judge John Hodgman's internet court, find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you download podcasts. I'm Jesse Thornt, I'm Jordan Morris. The federal government has millions of dollars in programs and opportunities that you need to seize today. You're a taxpayer, right? Well then you've got it coming. Thanks to Uncle Sam. You can get grant programs for veterans. Unlimited access to our nation's most erotic, natural history museum. Fruit for you and your family.

The opportunity to tell the Department of Water and Power to go suck a ****. Your own personal radioactive brick. A real wearable bull*** detector. A kite that won't let everybody know you're a sexist. Greyhound tickets. From here to there to everywhere. Access to a variety of dolphins. Handfuls of sweet, fleshy crawdads.

Central songs of the South Seas. A real live slap fight with the guy who played the president in the fifth element. Access to your public library's secret stash of saucy nudist films from the 1920s. Don't wait, right now. For all of this and more, drop us a line. Jordan Jesse Goe, one, two, three, iTunes Street, or wherever you download podcasts. But we should move on to letters from listeners.

Letters from who? Litters from who? Litters from who? Litters from you? The listeners at home? Take it, Halle. Litters from you. It's the listeners at home. Why do you listen and why do you live at home?

Why don't you live somewhere other than home? Just try something new. Why not like a shoe? Live in a shoe, live in a shoe, and write us a letter about you and your life in the shoe. And thanks for being part of our crew. I like it. He has won me over by the end. Short and sweet, just like Dan likes it. Just like the Jorp in the movie. He was not worth. He was not worth.

And he was never redeemed, by the way. He just got punted down the emergency slide. I was really hoping there was gonna be that scene between the Muslim guy and the dwarf and they're like, damn, and I respect you or something. Like do a warrior class, put the bottom of the fucking the slide. I respect your devotion to Islam.

I respect your devotion to dwarfism. Whoa, wait a minute. We really have a choice about that but Dan read us some letters spin us a tail Reach into that mailbag of yours read us a letter you are the letter man Read us a letter tonight David letterman that is God the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the have fallen out of favor this is a song that was not merely written for the movie and inspired by its themes but is about the movie or the characters in the movie the distinction I'm drawing is between your danger zone and your on's

our own the former Kenny logins top gun is at some points explicitly about flying airplanes but it doesn't, for example, Break down the beach volleyball match. Morn, Goose's fiery death or mission that literally everyone in top gun including Kelly McGellis and his suit, Where's the same white beefy pocket team? Danger zone is a pocket of the top guniverse, but that's all. If top gun was suddenly stricken from our collective memory, Danger zone would not provide any clues that it ever existed. Similar tunes, weird science, why only go boingo, but lose by Kenny Loggins.

I know, what are the times they talk about pictures from a magazine and my creation? That's true. Who's that girl by Madonna? Friday by ISQ, famed by Irene Cara. He's got game by Public Enemy, the never-ending story by Lim Hall, Irene Cara, he's got game by public enemy. The never-ing story by Lim Hall, virtually every title track to a Bond film now. Goldfinger? What about, oh, that's pretty specific.

It's pretty non-universal that there's a man with the mightest touch who tries to convince you to do bad stuff. I think the key is plot elements. And I'll get onto it in a moment. Well, there's that farting goldfinger where it's like, he'll cover you in gold till you're dead. That's right. Look at Farad job with the hat that kills you.

He doesn't expect you to talk, he expects you to die from a crotch laser gold finger. On our own, Bobby Brown goes postersbusters 2 is a different story altogether man we hear about quote throwing a party for your bunch of children while the wild slime was under the building and learn that the Ghostbusters who are quote in control once called once called quote grabbed their pep proton packs off their back and they split. No subtlety here. But he also saying that Adam's family wrapped. That's the same shit.

I think those MC Hammer who did that one. Oh, yeah, you're right. About how they kick what they do, what they want to do and play out. They want to play and kick and they stop a friend. Let's see, uh, similar little little movie songs, Adam's family, one by tagging Adams grew by mc hammer fat danceway prince ninja rap by vanilla eyes turtle power by mc hammer min and black and black suits coming nod your head by will Smith

wild ball west of the little Smith drew a hill and cool modi deepest blue is by l cool jade someone's phd thesis he got city of crime the rap song drag when, from Dragon Egg. When I went out with the Goonies song, what category is that fall under? That is, I would say the first category. I mean, the Goonies are good enough,

does not say anything about the actual plot of Goonies. That's true. Just just the name, and identifies them being good enough. Anyway, where do you stand on this trend? I can never make it my mind. Many more or less all of these songs are embarrassly bad cash grabs. Some are caches hell, some are good bad, and even kind of like some of them. Particularly MC Hammer, Supercache and Super Detailed Turtle Power. Why did it stop? I kind of missed these dumb soundtrack tunes and feel they need to be reintroduced

for serious artier films. Maybe get Springstring to roughly run through the plot of Winter's Bone. He kind of did that with the wrestler, right? Yeah, Philadelphia a little bit. Yeah, both. I guess Philadelphia streets of Philadelphia is not really about AIDS though. Yeah Yeah, I'm gonna skip to the end because you're wrong. Wait, but it what doesn't the turtle power song mention Raphael as the leader of the group? That's incorrect. Doesn't he mention He's just he is the coolest doesn't what He's the coolest one. He's just, he is the coolest. Doesn't what?

Never mind. Anyway, what did you say? I said, doesn't he mention Heroes in a half show? Well, that's the theme song. And Turtle Power. I thought MC Hammer saying that. I don't think so. Star of the show, Halley Haggland.

So he's recently revealed herself over time to be the star of the show. That's, you get the drift. There's only a few more sentences and they're not key. Wow. That's a huge laugh. I'm the fly. It's the Atlanta letter. Well, I mean, I like a good song that describes the plot of a movie, but they're usually

yelling. You're saying not very good. I miss the days when you could pop in a VHS cassette of a movie. And then after the movie, they would show the music video for that song, like famously Dream Warriors by Dockcken at the end of the an L Street. Yeah, we're pretty wakes up and he realizes that he has been haunted by docken in his on Terminator 2 on the tape. I think they had that you could be mine. That's amazing. Too much bitch slapper happened. That's a problem. Guys, I, you know, with my bitch slap rapping in my cocaine ton, I just get...

You get nothing done. Yeah. You're a real waste of ammunition. About you. Uh, yeah. Now, I like a good, uh, song that recaps the plot. Say you fell asleep watching the movie. Sure.

Yeah, say that, uh... Say that these shadows had offended, uh, and you want to think this, that. Yeah, say that uh, say that these shadows had offended and you want to think this that all so all's mended that while they appeared you just slumber here, then the song tells you what happened. Yeah, they then you get, uh, then you get over on's rap, but I'm seeing hammer. So casting a curse spell on his wife to make her fall in love with an ass-headed man. Yeah. That would be...

Special guest mustercy. I totally wish that when ever anyone does a Shakespeare movie, they have to wrap a song that recaps the plot at the end of it, where all the characters are like, are now wrapping and dancing. Yeah. And the rapper is like, oh, there's so many turnabouts in this. So much cross dressing. I don't know if I can.

The one for like, Trollis and Cress that are Cori-Lane is still like, what happened in this again? Um, so thank you for that. Elan last time with Feld. Isn't that a kind of like Antelope or gazelle in Elan? Elan, I think they're following. How did he spell it? Or she?

It's spelled ELAN. So it's like, no? No, the pronunciation spelled out I think. Yeah, he gave the pronunciation. But yeah, it would be along. But it's not like it was the word that spelled the same. That's pronunciation corner of all of us. No, we did a great job.

Continue. Slaves. So this is from Walking Lasting with Hell. Phoenix. Joaquin Phoenix. No, don't be shy. It says, dear radio is the work. In order to open the door, we need to know what it looks like with regards to, I don't know, weird keyholes and handles and stuff.

Therefore, I vote that we, and he is a prop sign, look at door, look at door. I'll handle this one. You see a door. So I hope that, okay. You guys, remember your choices are to try the key on the door. That's a right a to try the key on the door Be to turn the knob or see to push the door without using the key. What about option four? What is option four? I believe option four is wait outside the door for another guest to arrive. That's true. There's always that

So a bc or four those are your options So ABC or four those are your options. Uh, coincidentally or not so coincidentally since I chose these letters. Oh, what a spoo. He goes into the ring. He has revealed his design. He want to play a little game. Truly Dan does not play dice with the universe. The final little game.

The final letter of the night is from Dave last name with hell You're right. The better of the night that that from Dave Navarro. Yeah You're right. Yep Dear flop houses rejoice call out Joyce for radio's work already exists sort of Jared Sordson, is a game designer. SORP. There it is, son of Sord. SORP.

Born on a battlefield. SORP. Son of SOR on. All right. He's a game designer. Child of the Dark One. A couple of years ago, he designed an action castle, a party game in which a player takes on the role of a computer when you play Zork. Place on the show castle. Gather a group of friends

and take turns issuing commands to the parser whom the game encourages to respond in the infuriating literal way we all remember from classic Zork. It's a small game that fits on a double-sided sheet of paper. I've enclosed a link to a PDF version so you can check it out. If you like action castle, Jared wrote six or seven other versions with different settings including space station, spooky manner, z-ward, a zombie adventure, and action castle two. Here's the link. More castle in. I hope you all get a kick out of it, but given Stuart's deep cut, tabletop RPG references, I suspect he might like it the most. Story you made a shadow runner reference in one of the podcasts that included a reference to a person not having a social identification number, a sin.

Please know that at least one shummer out here knew what you're talking about. Watch out for the groove, Dave last name without. I printed out an action castle here for Stuart. No, great. So I'm going to play this one. Oh, that does look cool. How many new yen would this cost? That's another shadow run reference. I don't want man on all that stuff. And, you know, my ear is just in the area of being socially awkward. That

looks really great. That's true. I like the font they use for the name Action Castle. It's spelled out with bricks, and there's a wooden door there. I think I'm... It's not at all. Yeah, that's something I would want to write a paper with. Like, more or less a suicide note. I don't need these winged things anymore. It's used the Action Castle font. It's suicide note. I don't need these wing things anymore.

He's the action castle fox. Suicide note in wing dude. If you cared about me, you would fucking decipher it. I guess type it in and then convert it to another fox. You're like looking through all the individual wing things. Long note dude. I wish you'd email the suicide note to me and I just couldn't taste. No, because of a magazine.

I can't let anyone know who suicide note is. You've got winged things out of my head. Leave it in a bag under the bench in the park I killed myself Jonay Lollad cheerity I see you'll never see me again psych you never will anyway it's suicide no yeah thank you for that game. It's great. How many suicide notes do you think have psych? Or like star of this TV show psych or suicide notes is like I had a great life. I was really happy not from me When I was when I was growing up

I definitely had a black t-shirt that had in very Large white letters. It just said not across it, and I thought it was something. I was wearing that today. I was just wearing that shirt. Because you're totally hipster, star of a podcast. Howdy seems pleased by that. No, I was just, yeah.

Go on. please go on so I cut the sleeves It's the final part of this We did that was a good great movie we recommend we look that we talked about music Is there any time recommend a movie that we actually like Unlike we don't like movies. You might even say we hate movies Is there any time? I recommend a movie that we actually like unlike the movie that was. We don't like movies.

You might even say we hate movies. But we're not allowed to because of copyrights. Yeah, that's true. I'm gonna quickly go through this. I went to, at the film forum, they were doing a series of double features. Did you travel there by plane? I don't get that joke.

Just on the just fishing. Slowing down the... You guys were just complaining about that. Yeah, I'm the one slowing the podcast down. I'm sorry guys. Um, so... Dan, did you have popcorn left with her? What?

Why are you doing this? Oh, I'm not the guy. You guys wanted to get out of here and that just... I'm gonna go home and buy my not-tees. So... You gotta get home before the birds come out. Oh my God. Seriously.

Anyway, there was a series of true crime double features of the film form and it was one of these cases where I didn't know the films ever playing, but I just sort of took a chance on it because you figure that the programmers there, know what they're doing, you're going to see something interesting. And I saw a movie that I really enjoyed called The Phoenix City Story, which was based on the actual story of The Phoenix. The Greek mythology.

And Phoenix is spelled without an O, so if you're looking at it up, spell it in a way that looks like you're misspelling Phoenix. But this was a town that was notorious for having a bunch of gambling, prostitution, associated criminal enterprises, and it was cleaned up by a crusading guy, one of the district attorney who ended up being shot down in the streets there. It's a very gritty movie. It's a surprisingly sort of brutal film noir that I had never heard of before that involves among other things a child being killed and thrown out of a car which you don't expect to see in one of these movies.

Never. In a modern movie you don't expect to see it. And I was directed. He was directed by Phil Carlson, who is sort of a journeyman director, who also directed Kansas City Confidential, and he directed Walking Tall, which is interesting to me because the Phoenix City story is a movie that takes strong stance against vigilante justice when cleaning up a town Whereas walking tat tall is very much in pro in favor of walking around with a two by four and hitting people Oh to clean up a town the hacksaw gym dug in story. Yeah, so the Phoenix city stories. What I recommend Anyone else

Halle have you ever seen a movie before? Yeah, I have a recommendation. Oh, like the notebook comes out. Yes, I want to recommend a movie I saw last year or I think probably. The last year or I think probably. Doesn't matter because you're going to see it not last year. The movie we are last year, I think probably at Mary and Bed. It's called Only Watches Movie. It's the year that you hallowed it. No, it's a movie. We are the best, the Swedish movie by Lucas Moodison. It's probably pronounced prakberlick.

Yeah, I, yeah. Okay, so it's about these young, I think they're like in junior high, rockers who, these young girls who form this punk rock band and are badass. And the minute I saw it, the anyone I knew who had close to Teenage Age Girl, Teenage, yeah, Teenage Age Girl, I recommended it to, because it's just such a, you never want to walk out of a movie and genuinely feel like,

oh, that was a really feel good movie because when that word even occurs to you You feel like a cliche, but this was a feel good movie. This was so good It's based on a graphic novel that his wife wrote Coco-moodison, I guess that's called no never good night That's called no never good night. It's called Language is mostly got a kid whatever I researches I have a box to deliver you Okay, I have okay also directed show me love fucking homo together Lilia forever Oh, he did

Lila forever. Yes, that's a depressing movie. Well, that's what I just said. I just said he did, uh, uh, uh, Lila forever. Yes. That's a depressing movie. Well, that's what I just said. It's a good movie. It's super. I just said he did it. Okay, so now you legitimized him. So it's a good movie.

Now that I, now that I, a white male, I said that it's okay. Yeah. The leather. My words voice, Elliott. So we are the best. I recommend it. Should I go next? No, I'm gonna go, hey guys, it's me Stewart.

I'm gonna recommend a movie that I'm gonna, I'll even say it's a slightly qualified recommendation, but I recently watched X Machina, which is a movie that came out this year 2015, I think. You weren't sure what year was now. No, somebody check on your iPhone now. Somebody get a penny from today. And it is a. Take a picture with it.

It is for my suicide note. So X Mac, you know, is a picture of himself with a penny and then a page of winged things. What he's supposed to do with this. So X-Mac-E-N-U-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S who works for a Google type company who gets invited to spend the weekend at a top-secret research facility slash home by the head of that company who is like this crazy like Steve Jobs character played by Oscar Isaacs who has probably the best bald beard action I've seen in a long time. time and it is a and he this elusive head of this company slowly introduces not even that slowly introduces this young contest winner to this experiment that he's performing and it is a thriller that ends up not being all

that thrilling at times it's not it's creepy's not, it's creepy. It has a perfect, it's creepy, but it's, it's not, I don't think it's patient enough to really consider it like a good thriller. However, it is a beautiful movie. Their performances are great. There's some really great scenes including this amazing dance scene with Isaac. Isaac, And it has some really great gender, like a really interesting commentary on gender. And it's, yeah, so I think it's a really great movie. And it stuck with me, it just does it necessarily work as a thriller for me. I think I liked it a little bit more than you. I would have recommended it this week if I hadn't already sort of decided on what my recommendation was. And the main guy is great,

but particularly Oscar Isaac and the woman who does the... Yeah, I mean, Alicia Vikander, like there were... That's a breakout performance for her. It's kind of amazing. I want to see them, Louis. I haven't seen it. I was going to recommend, I wanted to recommend a religious movie to skip and theme with left-wingers. The name of the road. Yeah, because even though I am not a Christian, I often find myself touched and inspired by overtly Christian works of art. Unfortunately, two of the movies that I thought of to recommend, I've recommended already, a matter of life and death and winter light. So I've decided this is also gonna be

a slightly qualified recommendation because I think this movie is more interesting than great. It's like not a bad movie, but it's more interesting than anything else. And it's called The Next Voice You Here. It's a movie from 1950 where one night at 8.30 God appears on the radio and just kind of talks through the radio to everyone on earth.

And he says, hey, what's up? He's like, hey, I'm taking requests. I'm gonna get a slap some bladders on the matter. I got a stack of black shellac. Get my medication, send medications. Going out to Ginny and San Diego. So he's like an old, like he's an old time radio. He's like, sorry.

Going out to a hundred thousand relations, it's a tsunami. Let's take it away. But he, uh, you never, you know what you did, but you know, the audience never hears what God is saying over the radio and people are not quite sure what's going on. But as opposed to left behind where you're seeing something religious has taken place and the result is devastation and chaos and fire. This is a much more like small scale and kind of calmer

and contemplative movie where a family and the people they know are kind of trying to wrap their heads around the idea that God is actually reaching out and communicating to people and through this very common manner of the radio. And it's like, it's not an amazing movie. It's directed by William Welman who did direct a manner of the radio. And it's like, it's not an amazing movie. It's directed by William Welman, who did direct a number of amazing movies.

But it's an interesting movie. And it's just an interesting thing to see. It's the kind of movie that I have trouble seeing someone making now because it's both overtly religious, but it's not 2012. We're like, it's not apocalyptic. And that's called Destiny Turns on the radio. Yeah, yeah Yeah, it's got Nancy Travis. I went to her Tito. It's called the next voice

That is 90s it can get Yeah, they're all eating what you're gonna call it. They're all listening to the single soundtrack listening to the single soundtrack. You know, every scene. They're all like, what about this present in Clinton, huh? I hope he never has an extra matter of here. That's all watch party.

But hey, the ex files is on and then Seinfeld. So guys, thanks for being here. Thanks for being a friend. Thanks for starring in the podcast once again. I'll see you every week. Thank you for having me as the star.

Sharing the limelight with us a little bit. Yeah, you're welcome. I'm wow. You don't sound like I'm welcome. Yeah, Alice already calling her Uber. We should sign off for the podcast. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been steward well-in-dom.

I think I'm Elliot Kaelin. And the podcast. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been steward Wellington. I think I'm Elliot Kaylen. And the star. And I'm Halle Haglund. As herself. And I'd everyone. Bye. Bye. Who, Halle, do you want to do the intro?

Oh, I already wanted to be a surprise for when you... Yeah, do you want to do the intro? Oh, I, I think I've all tried. Or do you want to be a surprise for when you, Yeah, I just do it when you're announced you go. With me. Yeah, you guys do that. He he he. I in three, two. Hey, on this episode, we watched a little movie called Left Behind.

No, no, don't leave me behind. I want to be in the episode. Oh, boy. We watched and this happened. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Oh yeah, I mentioned that it's Kate Miss Angel. No, no, no, we'll do that.

Look, ever we go. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells. And this episode we watched left behind. It's Kate Miss Angel. I don't know. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells. Jingle episode we watched left behind. It's Cage Missing July, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells. Jingle, oh, Louis. Ah! Did you do another one? Yes. Okay. We watched left behind. Did you want to say on this episode? No. Should we do another one? Sure. Can we just keep doing these all night? this episode? No. Should we do another one? Sure. Can we just keep doing these all night?