The Flop House - Ep. #185 - Grace of Monaco

Episode Date: August 22, 2015

Straight from Cannes to Lifetime (TM), it's the Grace Kelly biopic, Grace of Monaco. Meanwhile Elliott has a surprisingly deep well of Saved by the Bell knowledge, Dan speculates about Curly's gold, and Stuart finds a new way to leave Dan out of things.Movies recommended in this episode:The DropProject NimObvious Child

Tonight we watched Grace of Monaco starring Nicole Kidman. The man with the power of a small goat. Ah! Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey guys, I am Stuart Wellington. Welcome to the Spider to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey guys, I am Stuart Wellington. Welcome to the spider to the fly Wow, in this case the fly is you the listener and the spider myself Elliot Kalens Thanks for functioning my sinister entrance with a beer can I thought it would sound like a creepy door creek Stewart has a s says the gold sound deafness. Which means sounds. Get out of here. The

hell it is. It's coming from inside your ears. There's Nellie in your brain. And he is sorry. It's the second beer. Or did you just finish a beer within milliseconds of opening it? I think you are being hyperbolic. Because that's not milliseconds. They were full seconds. All the fizz and cold was gonna be gone from that by the time you get around to that second beer.

None of them drinking it right, Dan. As he pours two cans into his mouth at the same time. Glug, glug, glug. Lug indeed, Dan. Let's get the show on the road. The first thing I want to say, during the last episode, I made a lot of errors about where different bands were from.

And there are different movies were set. And I have something I want to make up. But they all, both of them were Scotland Australia. Australia's history. I was consistently mixing up Australia and Scotland, which pains me because I love access. I love Scotland dearly I've been there a number of times. And Australia I could take or I could leave. I don't know much about it except that they have crazy animals that nobody else has that have

Pouches for I guess storing their pens and their loose chains and they have all of the most poisonous things in the world That's what makes me scared to visit Australia. I'm like, all of the most poisonous animals are just centered on this one. And they can vote. Yeah. Eleanor, are you being serious? Yahoo, serious. You got me. Famous Scotsman, Yahoo, serious. Oh, no, I did it again.

So here's the thing. I want to apologize and admit something I never learned to read. Oh, really? Maps. Oh, okay. I don't know what a legend or a key is. I've let longitude, flatitude. I don't know what a legend or a key is. I've let longitude Flatitude I don't know the legend of curly's gold though. Yeah, yeah, of course. I was thinking about this

What is the legend That curly had some goals. I know that's it. That's not really a legend. It's not like, it would be a legend if it wasn't true. Curly had gold, they say, that had the power to move mountains and stop the tide. I mean, that would be a legend of curly gold. So what constitutes the legend of Ulys Gold

starting Peter Fonda? Just the idea that, just the idea that curly had some gold is whoever rumored, there's a rumor of curly it's a legend that there's a lot of gold out there I mean in the city slickers verse the little the currently gold is this legend that everybody talks about the

slick of verse everyone was aware of it that's why it was big front page news when Billy crystals character Tom crystal discovered and discovered curly's gold it's like Hitler's secret gold in the Slickerverse, it was Curly's Gold, because Curly was the Hitler of that universe, who, having lost World War II, instead of killing himself in a bunker, retired, and became a wrestler at a dude rant. Weirdly enough, didn't change his name.

No, get it. Well, that's what drew a lot of people to ranch was this famous historical figure worked there. That adds context to the movie. Also, the fact that he was a famous actor. Jack Palin's kind of helped things too. Oh, I don't know. Because in the Slickers verse, there's a number of scenes we've noticed, Billy Crystal's character, Tom Crystal. He goes, Jack, I mean, Curly, because he's Jack Palin's also. All right. Well, you can bet. So you got to figure it out.

To put it in the Palants of our time I was Hello, Ellen and that's my review of city slickers, too I love it to this movie part two of the city slickers cinematic universe So somebody could use that on the back of a VHS cassette tape box right? Yeah yeah yeah. So yeah go find it. For a VHS tape for the Legend of Curtain Gold and slap Ellie's quote on it. Just put a piece of masking tape on there and I don't want to end in March or I L.O.L. This is our mission to you. Flop house nation. Go on doing it. every, if every DVD and VHS box of

I just said VHS box. Okay, just VHS. Maybe it was never released on DVD due to lack of interest. If every box of it in the nation doesn't have that legend, another, use the word legend, emblazoned on it. By the end of what the year, then we fail as a podcast. By the way, I love the idea that it never made it to DVD, but it's like part of the Warner's archive

where they, if you ask for it, then it's a DVD item. It's a DVD item. It's a DVD item for you. It's never happened. Wait, that's not. Is it like, is there a labor under some kind of curse where if you ask for a movie, they have to give it to you?

It's not a curse, it's a business model. Oh, yes, it's not. It's not a curse, it's a business model. That makes movies available that are not worth Oh, do you have to pay them for it? Yes, okay, that makes movies. We're not ruffle skillskins, come on. You ruffle, I figured out the name, it's Warner Brothers.

You ruffle lamp, a Jack Warner comes out of it, and he's like, what do you want, kid? I want a DVD, you figured out my name. Little Jack Warner was sitting in a corner, eating what, putting in pie or some shit. And a dog came beside him. Putting in pie corner eating what putting in pie or some shit And a dog came to say I kind of look like I'm taken pie and then a spider came along and scared him off his tough it Yeah, am I remembering the story of brother?

The food in the in the cupboard and then they made castle point. Yeah, so it's been heady times over here in Flophouse land big changes for Elliot over at your job. That's right, and I don't have one. You don't have a job. Just a wrap up. I was wondering whether we're going to do this or not. Elliot came by with a stick and then told us. Like, you said, whether they were going to do this as if I planned something, let's do it.

Stuart just started bringing it up. And I have no secrets from the Flopperverse except what I masturbate to because he would be horrified. It's a lot of lovecraft porn. It's called, I mean, it's just called lovecraft. It's the craft of love. And it calls a lot of undescribable tentacles. It's a thing is.

It's a website called Kaffee Booms. And it's got exhaust. It's all erotic stories, but the women are indescribable. The sex that took place was too hot. Indescribable. The sex that took place was, was, was, was, it was, it's it's probably sexy involving non-uclidean sexual geometries. Yep. The, what they're don't itch whore. Yep. The pune that came to carnaz or whatever. You don't really need to change at the, at the mountains of madness. No. And, you know, and the call of Kathool boobs. Yeah

The wet dream quest of unknown Kated perfect. I guess we're not really gonna explain Here's the thing there was a shake up at the Daily Show. There's a new host there a kid up and I Was forcibly ousted by myself from the job of head writer Yeah, I've decided to embark on you burned yourself an effigy. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna walk the earth I'm gonna walk the earth. I'm gonna walk the earth as a semi-employed writer for a little while, and then I'll get another job and work on other things. The time I for daily topical comedy for me

has come to a play. He's probably gonna work at my bar as a, I don't know, like a bartender, bar back. We're like in bar back now. We're a barker, you'll see it out front. You'll see it out front. Extree, extra, come on in. I don't know if a Barker, you'll see out front. You'll see out front. X-Tree, X-Tree, come on in. I don't know what to say, X-Tree, that's a news boy.

That is a terrible addition. People even, I gotta say. We know, come on in and have a drink on the house. Better way. We're willing to. No. Our listeners do worry, they do fret. I just want to underline something that you said

that you did this by choice. Oh, entirely by choice. I was not, I don't want to say this to Strongly because I feel like it might look it might it's not complimentary to Uh, my replacements as head as head writer and kind of general Man writer's but like that I was I if it was not A beloved it was not a decision that a lot that that's some of the people at the show were like crazy about that I was leaving.

It was very much a case of them wanting me to stay and I just, I'm burnt out on the schedule that show and I've been there a long time and I wanted to take a break from topical material. So I mean, that's what it comes down to. Were they like, no, stay. You're not taking a break from topical appointments though. I need them. You love him. I need him so bad.

But it really came down to like, I needed a break from X amount. And I was tired of seeing my son for an hour a day during the week. So the most... And that hour you're usually like drilling him on his historical facts. Oh yeah, it's a history cram school entirely. Antiquator man. I do 19 months old. I can yeah, it's history crams cool entirely. Antiquiton. I do 19 months old. Why can't you pronounce Cushue-Sco properly?

But yeah, it's Spider-Man stuff. Well, that's history. But American history. Tradition. Men. American history, X-Men, in which Ed Norton plays, I don't know if some guy that raised this mutant. Which reminds me of Spider-Man and the X-Men out

in a trade paper back now. Thank you very much, Spider-Man and the X-MenMen written by Ellie Kaelin out in a collected edition now The entire series in one volume pick it up. You're gonna love it and enjoy it. Please. I need the money I'm out of work right now. So please go pick up Spider-Man on the X-Men. Why are we doing plugs at the beginning? I don't know. We haven't even explained this one. We haven't done anything But normally do the pod that shows is called Bored We Learned. With this movie. Well, Dan, what are we doing on this podcast?

This is a, who's the Flappass podcast? I'm Stuart Wellington. Dan McCoy. I'm Ellie Cain from The Spider to The Fly, et cetera. Let's re-booting, re-looping this. Yeah, this is a known tug day in this. On this show, we watch a bad movie, and then we talk about it. And in this case, we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

And in this case, we watched a movie. Oh, what a stinker. That did not even make it to theaters. Oh, you watched it in America. America. I brought it. It was not actually that big of a problem. It wasn't movie about a broad.

Her name, Grace Kelly. Yeah, we watched Grace of Monaco, a movie that debuted at the Cannes Film Festival to Thundering dislike. It dares to answer the question, does anyone give a shit about what happens to Monaco? Yeah. And the answer was a resounding no. But this is a movie that debuted at Cannes and only- No, did you aired on Lifetime. The Lifetime Network in America. That's why they call it in the Cannes when you complete a film. It's now the instant.

Now by debuted in can, do you mean that it was so bad to debut in someone's butt? No, nor did it, yeah, nor did it debut in the Oscar the Grouch garbage can. Hey, what if I called you and pranked you? Hey, do you have grace of Monaco in the can? Film festival. I say, but of course.

Well, let it out. It needs to be seen. I did, but of course, we'll let it out. It needs to be seen. I do not understand this joke. Goodbye, hang up. But then come back, Americans. That's all. Who was on the phone? I do not know. We was talking about Grace.

Grace who? Of Monaco. Oh, that was our, I guess theatrical performance. Yeah, which Frenchman were you your famous Frenchman? Yeah, I was Marie's Shaball and who were you to I was the pink Panther Panther one is a diamond That Cluzo is not the pink Panther. I was the French guy called the pink panther. Nobody's called that. I think you're wrong. All right Much as your sellers played him I think as the thin man in the movie the thin man movies is not actually Nick Charles The pink panther is not Peter Sellers boy. Isn't he?

The games weight every every movie. It's all the drinking. Anyway, Nick Charles. Dan, well it's a fictional character that you've just fat-shamed. So congratulations to you. Your life is where you wanted to be. Dan, so this movie, it premiered on the American and the lifetime network. Yeah. So we would consider it a TV movie even though it's a clearly a feature film. Let me tell you this. It's kind got a cool kid mode. Every dollar of the budget is on screen. Yeah. It's lush, it's lavish looking.

It was directed by the guy who made Lovey and Rose. It's got Tim Roth in it. It's Tim Roth in it. The mark of highest, I guess, quality. I mean, I love Tim Roth, but he's made some bad decisions. I mean, he's a good investment in a movie. That's why they're called Roth IRAs. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Paz Vegas in this of Nurse 3D. Latin for the vegan piece. Latin for, I can't believe she's not new to this movie. That's amazing. But she always is. Robert Losez is now in this movie. I know, Frank Losez. I believe that Paz Vegas shot her scenes new

and then they digitally added clothes to her in post. That's where the budget went. But this is the Franklin Jelezenet as maybe the worst priest in the world since he spends this time hanging around a palace giving advice to a princess rather than helping the poor or preaching to anybody. I don't think he mentions God once in the whole movie. I know. Most of his lines feel like they were ADR work anyway.

Like, I think he agreed to do the movie only if he didn't actually have to walk around or... Well, he'd pull to Franklin Jell-A, which means he just speaks all of his lines and kind of a calm, even tone and leaves it up to you to read a motion or a drama into it. Yeah, well, Elliot revealed himself as... Elliot? Not a... not a Franklin friend of the Yellow fan. I think Frank Langella is good when he's trying,

but I've seen too many things where he's not trying and he has a natural gravitas, and he just coasts on that. Now, I hate you. Like a Morgan Freeman? Kind of, yeah, in a way. I hate to be a name dropper, but I did see him in a play once, where he played a hilariously over-the-top

of feminine character, and he was very funny in it So like when he's trying he can be very good. I saw in that movie another star of the play Are you saying that? And then also in that play Derek Jack will be also in grace of Monaco. Oh sure Bagger Vance type character who is a gay man who comes from note or I assume he's gay comes from nowhere and He's definitely He's coded in gay like chocolate. Yeah. He's coated in chocolate. Yeah, he's coated in gay. No, I went, that comes with a gay coating.

That's another $2,000. They put it in the factory. I can't take that out. I can talk to my manager about maybe not going a thousand bucks off of the gay coat, but my hands are real, I'm tired on this one. You know, I can't really lower the price. This is just a thing he's going through, Dan.

He's not actually going to go to his manager for this. No, no, no, I'm going to go talk, you know, I can't really lower the price. This is just a thing he's going through, Dan. He's not actually gonna go to his manager for this. No, no, no, I'm gonna go talk to my manager about it. I wanna give you this. I know I would lie to him about this. You guys want. He's not your friend, Dan. He's pretending to be your friend. When you walked on the esteemed British actor's lot

and you looked at this dirt jacket, you said you wanted it at a very fair price, and I promised you that, and I wanna give you as fair prices I can, you know. I loved him in the Olivier Assello, Dan, but I don't know if I, I don't know if we need them in this gate coding. Yeah, I just wanna know Frills there, Jack.

Look, I'm not trying to upsell you on a lot of stuff. Even though I think you would really love the upsold model. It looks like he's already got a lot of models on. Wow, okay, well, let's just say he's an experienced drive. Let's say that, okay, well, let's just say he's an experienced drive. Let's say that, okay? He's got, if you want to go with a, I don't know, like a, a, what's the guy who, I can't remember his name now.

The guy who played was in that NBC Dracula show, you know, he's in Bendy, like Beckham and stuff. Ian Homes? No, no, he played Steer Pike in the Gormagas TV show, you know what I'm talking about. Ian McKellen? No, it's not, no, Ian McKellenAllen, I'm so sorry, we're just, just bought. Chris Verly? Christopher Lee, sadly, is no longer available to not making that model anymore. But if you want a younger model, go ahead, take what?

If you want an Eddie Redmaine, I could sell you one of those. You'll get overchargers going to break down. You have a Jupiter sending on your hands. You don't want that. Derek Jacobi, nice, solid, you could always rely on it. This Derek Jacobi, previously just owned by some old lady, just he acted at church every now and then. To Derek Jacobi ever win the Academy Award for Best Actor?

For Best Jacobi, I don't know. You think he was in the category of the four-minute? You're chewing for that. But Eddie Redmain has. Yeah, that's the weird thing. From Jupiter ascending. Yeah, he won for Jupiter ascending. So, he won for Jubilee, or ascending. So we haven't really talked about this movie at all.

So the movie tells the story of a brief moment in Grace Kelly's life. Grace Kelly, of course, one of the big stars of the screen. From the Elliot time of the movie. We cast the most notably from Rear Window. What else? Down in for Murder. You're familiar with. I mean, I think we're all familiar mainly with the Alfred Hedges when she was also in Was it called high society the musical version of the Philadelphia story?

She won the the Academy Award for Was it called the farmer's daughter? I don't think it was I think we can all agree that she was in my I think we can all agree that she was in my mom mostly for her work with Albert. I mean, she's not an actress who I've ever had much of an affinity for and I mean she's wonderful in rear window. Come on. Yeah, she's great in that. Yeah, but like rear windows a great movie all around like the way that I would follow Jimmy Stewart or speaking just speaking rear window actors Jimmy Stewart or Thelma Ritter into another movie because I feel like they're interesting actors to me Grace Kelly is one of the least interesting classic Hollywood actors to me. I think she's just kind of like her in rear windows that she's just astoundingly beautiful. I think that that's and she's magnetic.

No she's magnetic in it but as a care as a personality on screen I find nothing really in her besides like beauty and elegance, but there's not a lot of character. The same way that I haven't, personally, just being in for hours personally, I've got more of an affinity for like, Merneloy. Well, I think Nicole Kidnan's here to change all that, Elliot. Well, here's the thing. They picked, they said, what modern-day actress is also beautiful and yet doesn't have much personality on certain coldness

As a certain dead taxidermy die about her, which is totally unfavorable to Colt Kidman since I loved her and the others But yeah, she can be wonderful in the right and she's even in in eyes wide shut. She's got good scenes Yeah, BMX bandits. She steals the show terrific. Sure foreign. Sure, far and away. Far and away, to die for her. Far and away. For most interesting roles. To die for, she's really good at stoker. Stoker, stoker, stoke to the flames of my passion. I don't love, but she has some good stuff in it.

But so this tells a story of Grace Kelly after she has left the screen and married Prince Rainer of Monaco, played by Tim Roth. I mean, it opens with the final shot, final take of her acting career. And then she walks into her trailer where they're playing her exposition story. Where the radio is literally explaining who she is, and what she's just done, and where she's gonna go. Yeah, and she's like, oh, that's what I'm all about.

Glad I tuned into WGRK, the Grace Kelly Network, that just explains who I am all the time. Which radio is Zork gonna be on? want to use the key in the lock. Wait, is that your final choice, Dan? Sure, that's locking in. Okay, we'll have to check this out next week on Radio Zork. And she goes to Monaco. She's in Monaco. Monaco's having some troubles. It seems that they're running out of money. Why are you rubbing your face? Because I thought damn scratching his face. I thought he was telling me I had something on my face. No, I was staring at me intently.

I remember his case. I was telling you, why is she kitches? Things would be kidding that to me. Oh, you're doing it again. Thanks. That's an international sign language for itchy cheek. I didn't get it all the first time. You know, I was. So yeah, for thirds. Okay. We go. So she's at Monaco, ironically, for a place that has most of the word money in its name is running out of it. You may say maybe melt some down some of your fucking solid gold chairs. You're always sitting in monicans or Monicans. I forget it. We found this. I think that's what it.

Monocuse? Monocuse? Yeah, I think it was something like that. It was something really strange. Monocations. Monaco is having the, the paper is coming to be paid in that for years they have lived off the largest of French billionaires looking to hide their money from being taxed by the French.

Now the French government in the early 60s needs money to keep fighting its needless war in Algeria and they come to they come a call in to Monaco. So Tim Roth is in a pickle, which is ironic since this is maybe the least Jewish movie I've ever seen. None of these people has ever had a pickle, let alone pastrami. Let's just leave that aside right there. This is an incredibly gentile film, but So he's in a pickle in that he needs money and also his wife

wants to have her own career She doesn't want to just go around being a princess who looks at Red Cross orphanages and asks for money for them She wants to be a married woman who has it all. Yeah, and so Alfred Hitchcock also comes a colon to have Grace Kelly play the lead in a little movie called, Marnie. Yeah. Which historically she does, right? Sean Connory, like, it's a raping a little bit. Or Idno, the movie is about

Tippi Hendren as a woman with psychological issues who is driven to steal. And Sean Connory becomes obsessed with her and wants to possess her and find out what her mystery is. Yes, wants to break her like a horse. Yeah, basically, and a tree falls through a window. And at the end, she talks in a little girl's voice and everything.

It's a strange movie. It's a weird, weird movie. I mean, as Johnny Carson would say, it is weird, wild stuff. I mean, it's probably like, I think there's the original title of the movie, weird, weird, wild stuff, the movie. It's the last Hitchcock movie that really like

feels like a Hitchcock movie. I don't know about that, what about like Frenzy? I mean, Frenzy I like, but it doesn't feel like a Hitchcock. I mean, there's no glamor in it, if that's what you mean. Yeah, there's still some kind of glamor in Marney. There's, and there's none. Frenzy, he feels like a 70s movie, you know, in a way that feels, I guess so,

on Hitchcock and me. What about like, when did the wrong man come out? I can't remember. I mean, I guess 70s movie in a way that feels I guess so on Hitchcock. What about like when did the wrong man come out? I can't remember. I mean, I guess there he was trying for a delivery on Hitchcock style. I guess wrong man was earlier than Marnie. So the one with Dave Foley, Tope has I guess has some very Hitchcock and it's got like two good sequences in it. Yeah.

And family plot feels like a TV movie. Yeah, family plot has some funny bits and I like Bruce Stern, but it is a weird weird. Is that the Michael Hanna game movie, Funny Bits? Yeah, Funny Bits. It's about a comical penis. It's a talking penis that tells jokes. The weird thing is it's very prudish. It doesn't work blue, it doesn't curse.

It's a family penis comedian. Funny bids. It does tear away, and then it dies. Yeah, with Billy Crystal as the voice of the penis. Anyway, Grace of Monaco, Alfred H. Cockawant should play the lead in Marney. She wants to play the lead, but her husband, the prince, does not want her to return

to the screen. And there's scene after scene of... At first, he's like kind of lukewarm on it. Yeah. Until it, her going back to acting gets in the way of his, I guess, political plans. But he worries that it would be seen as the Princess of Monaco abandoning her country and her family in a time of its need. And also, she's not a proper princess.

She's an American who says what she thinks whenever she thinks it, and that gets him into trouble when she talks back to a French finance minister who they need. And then the French finance minister insults her to the princess face and the prince slaps him. Thus, causing almost war between France and Monaco, a country with no army that France has just been kind of protecting. Here's where we get to the crux of the movie. By the way, I hope you're all enjoying the Mr. Softy theme song that I'm sure you can hear

because it's blasting through the windows. Well, I can hear it. Well, I can hear it. It's hard to hear when you listen to the episode. All right. But Mr. Softy also movie about a penis. He was just going by playing its song. So it's about a very emotional penis.

Yeah. Who takes him to emotional? It cries a lot. He's semen. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And this was a family podcast briefly. Yeah. I guess never. Okay, so here's the problem with the movie, one of the many problems. Aside from the fact that it's very boring, and that we never get into the psychology

of any of the characters, that you are asked to care about what's going to happen to a tiny country that makes its money off of hiding the dollars of billionaires from French taxes, And that we're the print tax shelter gambling playground for the rich. Where the Prince lives in incredibly lavish luxury and he makes some bullshit answer that like early on that he has to live this way in order to keep up the show that brings money in from other from foreigners.

But like if he sold a lot of his junk, like they'd be able to open up that orphanage that Nicole Kibman, or that, to refurbish that orphanage that Nicole Kibman says is in bad shape. Yeah, the only argument that they have is we don't want this money to go to this war in Algeria, which is not a terrible argument, but it's not, there's no good guy necessarily in this fight, the struggle of attacks.

Yeah. Grace Kelly. When she's not pallying around with opera star Maria Callas, played by the not nude Pasvega, she is agonizing over her role. Should she be go back to the screen? Should you be your own woman, or is it better for her to stand by her man? Well, that's the other thing. All the while, the part that's by her man stands over her shoulder. The what? Part of her pose is by her man. But that's the other thing. All the while, the part that's... The part that's by her man stands over her shoulder.

The what? Part of her pose is constantly hovering about. Meanwhile, part of her pose is the like evil house mistress from Rebecca character for most of the movie, where she's very stern and is always telling Grace Kelly what she can and can't do. And then at the end, but at the end, she turns out to be one of the good guys

because they manage to, in a plot that comes out, that like just is not enjoyable, but it should be, they hire a detective and discover that someone's been passing information to the press and the French and they briefly suspect grace, but they hire a detective and see the pictures and listen to taped phone calls and stuff and they find out that it's actually the Princess Sister, bump bump bump. Nothing really happens off of that. But so she it wants to be in Marney and she says to have for Hitchcock and Universal pictures. I'll be in the movie but it has to be a secret until I guess the movie is made. Like she seems to think that she can keep it a secret from the Monaco people and the rest of the world that she's starring in a movie. Like the

movie is gonna come out eventually. But news of it leaks and she is shocked and has to deny it. And it causes some marital turmoil, including a fight that takes place right by a giant beach ball. Yeah, they're eating lunch next to a pool on their vacation, which is some dogs and some burgers. Some some Borg Some some board burgers. Because the burgers have been assimilated and become glory

a borgia. But they, but there's a beach ball in the background. It really undercuts the severity of the scene. But they have an argument and Grace Kelly. She says she has to get serious about this. And this is a woman who's an Academy Award-winning actress under the tutelage, under the advice, guidance of Franklin Jella as I guess what the head priest of Monaco just hangs around in

his like their house guest and is her confidant. She goes over to Derek Jacobi's house and he teaches her how to act like a princess. Because what the movie is telling us is that Grace Kelly, before she became a princess, was not a good actress. Oh yeah. Did not know how to act. She was a real ugly duckling who had no poise. My fair lady story for the ages. And he like holds up flashcards of emotions

and she has to express them without talking and she has to like say seashells, she sells by the ICI's screw up already in French and she's gotta do all this. Is it the same thing? Yeah, that's the same thing. I mean, the subject I mean the subterranean lady and S she sells seashells by the C-shor, but I assume that they're just doing that idiomatically that in French it's a time like a idiotically. Yeah burn you burn. So the she learns how to be a princess. She decides, you know what? I'm going to stick with

my family. I'm going to stand by my man like the song. Point point. Thank you. When there's no stand for standing. There's no staying there. Sometimes it's hard to be the princess of Monaco. Give in all your love to just one prince. Yeah. It's great, guys. Anyway, so she's saying to me. The seat and she publicly says she is retiring from the screen. She travels all over in an Indiana Jones. She doesn't travel over. She goes to Paris and she sends letters all over the world.

Inviting them to a Red Cross ball at Monaco. She needs to make a show to Charles de Gaulle to present her France. A mask of the Red Cross. Oh, I mean, if only they had all died of a plague. She has to make a show to Charles de Gaulle, present her France that the world has not turned its back on Monaco.

How to do it by throwing a fancy ball. and she sends invitations all over the world. And you see an Indiana Jones style map with lines traveling out that's just representing letters being sent from one place. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like little letter cartoons going around like they have airplanes and those things. I think it's a good example of the overconfidence in the drama of this story that the movie has that it feels like the idea of letters being sent from one country to another, demands representation in an animated form that we're going to be so astounded by it, the very

concept. Like when Indiana Jones is flying between all these exotic places, it's like, oh wow, he's going from, you chiro to java you know something like that he's exotic far off lands he's a got you know he's this adventure who's doing it there's something exciting about that there's nothing less exciting about like oh well there's a functioning international postal service and if I put the address of somebody in Washington DC on a letter in monaco it's gonna get there I guess you know it's it almost looks like

ridiculous and she's had a phone call with her mother that did not go well. Did not go well all the way in Philadelphia because I guess her mother just found out that Tom Hanks has AIDS. Oh, my God. It's the thing that happened when I worked at- That's the Philadelphia story. Tom Hanks has AIDS. Well, when I worked at Suncoast Motion Picture Company, a video store that did not rent videos and only sold them, a guy walked in confident as the day is long in his selection. He walked up to me and he said, do you have the Philadelphia story?

And I said, yes, we do. It was in the comedy section. I knew this, went to get it, and showed it to him. And he said, that's not it. And I was about to punch him. I was like, there's only one movie called the Philadelphia. And he goes, no, with Tom Hanks, like, oh, you mean Philadelphia.

So not the story of a high society woman who has to choose between two suitors. You mean the story of a gay man who has come down with fatal disease? Like it's like you, but you've added in story. Yeah, I think he's still right. It is a story. It is a story in Philadelphia. I think it's probably the most important story in the city of Philadelphia. The only way, like I think-

I'm amazing Jimmy Stewart and Kare Grant starring in Philadelphia. Yeah, Kare Grant is a terrible man. Oh, it's fired me just because I came down with this disease. And Kare Grant is what? Is he in the Denzel Washington rule? Yeah, no, yeah, that's bad. When the Tony Brandeis rule.

No, he's in the Denzel Washington rule. Okay, so he's defending my client, client, Gerrano, his rights have been invaded. Judy, Judy, Judy. That's pretty good. That's a better character at the next point. It's better than I expected. Frankly, I did not expect that. It wasn't great, but it was better than I thought.

But then at the end of this movie, that she makes a speech that goes on for like 10 minutes of screen time. Where she talks about, now earlier, it's been time to know how this is supposed to be a fairy tale story that this beautiful one becomes a real life princess. But in fact, it's more fake than her Hollywood life. I'm reading into it subtextually because that would be a more interesting story to watch. Her discovering that there's more artifice to this real life royalty than there was to

her being queen of Hollywood. But she talked to Frank Langell and she goes, do you believe in fairy tales? And he says, no, but I do believe in Happily ever after. What does that mean? Which is a huge dodge. It means nothing. It's like,

but also like they're the same thing. Fairy tales and Happily, it's not. Potato potato, bro. Mm-hmm tomato to morto. Yeah, I mean like that's what I would say if I was writing a letter to Baron Mordo. The last change, you know, and you would totally get that joke. Take a letter to Mordo.

Baron, in response to the letter you sent me of September the 3rd, yes, I will attend your dinner party. I have a boss. Please do not see me next to Dormammu. It is too warm. So anyway. Great. I don't know what that meant, but. So it means the same thing.

Well, you'll know when Benedict Cumberbatch's Dr. Strange movie comes out. Mm-hmm. Who plays Dormammu in that? It's probably going to be like, I don't know, like DJ Qualls or something. Whoa. He's still a working actor. Oh, yeah. It stands for Dormammu, J.Qalls. I mean, it's working DJ. Oh, he's still a working actor. Oh yeah, it stands for Dormammow, J-Quals.

I mean, it's working DJ. Oh, no, I think. Actually, I think of DJ Quales. Oh, okay. It's Dan Quales, DJ career. Wow. Yeah. Speaking of potato, anyway, that's what we're talking about.

So she gives a speech at the Red Cross Ball, everyone's in attendance, even Charles DeGol. People are loving that shit. That rhymed. That was a wrap, I just dropped., even Charles DeGaulle. People are loving that shit. That rhymed. That was a wrap I just dropped. Yeah, thanks DJ Qualls. That's my new rap name, DJ Qualls. The Qualls stands for quality. You can't spell quality without some of the letters in Qualls.

Now, she gives a speech about how she can't bear to live in a world where love doesn't conquer all. And during this speech, it seems like the camera gets fuzzier and fuzzier, like she's fading you into some like a dreamless sleep. Now, either they're going for a old-school glamour. They're putting Vaseline on the lens to make her look younger, because she is shot in such close-up that you can see that her nose is a little weirdly shaped in a way I've never noticed before about me. Yeah, but it kind of makes her a little more attractive that way, right? Yeah, it's the flaw that highlights the beauty.

It's like a beat and mark. And or the camera operator was falling asleep and just didn't realize that the focus had fallen out. You know, they're using those old focus pulling cameras, you know. It's like the scene in stage coach where you first see John Wayne, and the camera's moving forward so fast that they can't keep it and focus the whole time, but it makes the shot better, Dan. No, I agree.

And it highlights the drama of the shot. I just realized stagecroach. Croach. Croach. It's just stagecroach. It's just stagecroach. It's just like a guy who's got such horrible stagecroach, and he can't stand up, but he's a brilliant actor.

Well, I was just imagining stage coach, but all the actors are crouching the whole time, and I have to like walk around. I'm like, that's weird. Makes it very hard for the Indian fight at the end, because they have to waddle around in a crouch while firing arrows. Even the horses are crouching when they're running. Yeah.

Taking the stage. Oh, I forgot. So, and she gives this speech, and it wins everyone over, and Monica was saved to right. Now, here's something I wanted to mention. Yeah, the best part is right after her speech at this like fancy dinner, there's this pause and then everybody starts to clap and it's like, have you ever been to one of these fancy dinners where everybody didn't clap after a speech?

Well, Prince Rainer claps and stands up and everyone follows his lead, showing that he does love her and he's not ashamed of her speaking out even though she's essentially saying what he wants her to say and also that he does command the allegiance of people. They didn't let him applaud alone. Oh, okay. Monaco is saved. It's a regular king's speech.

Does just where nothing is at stake. Does Charles DeGalgo stomping out throwing up his money and baguettes and what. So Charles DeGal's sidekick comes up to try to comfort him and he pushes him away. Slaps him in the face with a beret and then they both fall in a pool. That for some reason was in the middle of the ball through. That's full of wine. So win, win for then, right? Yeah.

But here's the thing. There's the scene where the thing that struck me most about this movie was there's a scene where like I say in Grace Kelly goes to Derek Jack, Derek Jackaby's house and he teaches her all about the history of Monaco and of the Grimaldi family. And he, she learns about it and practices this speech and how she's going to talk. And it reminded me of nothing more than the Save By The Bell episode, where Zach Morris learns he has some Native American ancestry. And he has to learn about what it was like to be an American Indian and the guy he goes to talk to gives him a big pile of books to read just like Grace Kelly gets a big pile of books. And then he goes and he gives chief Joseph speech before his class about how he will wage

war no more was I felt I will fight no more forever. And I realized was this like a good morning, Miss Bliss episode was by save of the bell because they're in California. So Slayer was there because then yes, the Native American mentor. Your favorite place, yes, he is a servant. Oh, that makes sense. It would make sense in the Indiana location of good morning, Miss Bliss. That would be strange for them to be a surfer.

Maybe in like the Great Lakes. Or Native American, I guess. Maybe is there a lot of surfing in the Great Lakes? I don't think so. I think in near Cleveland there, so I mean, Sarah has a t-shirt that says, Surf Ohio, I don't know if that's ironic. Could be, I could be ironic. Yeah, yeah, one of those ironic.

So what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the, what was the B plot in that episode? I don't know there was one, there was so much, I mean, same with the bell, didn't have a lot of B plots. What was the B plot in the race of Monica? The B plot in Grace of Monica was, I guess, Franklin and Jellie getting chewed out by the Vatican for spending all this time hanging around with the princess personal the B plot was who's gonna play

money and it turned out to be a dream spoiler alert yes of headdrants and but it was like so the grace of monica was attempting and failing to reach the same level of drama as a middling episode of Save By The Bell. When I say middling, I mean that it didn't involve the Malibu Sand speech club or Jesse Spano getting addicted to caffeine pills, which is of course the best episode of Save By The Bell. And I forgetting the Zach attack behind the music episode. That's pretty great. No, I'm not forgetting. One of two appearances by KC K's in the series. Yes, I'm not going to forget. One of two appearances by Casey Kason in the series.

Yes, I'm not going to forget that. Now, am I forgetting any of the episodes with Screaches robot Kevin? Of course not. All right. What about where they do the dance, the Lisa, where they hop around on one foot? That's one of the Casey Kason appearances with the dance competition at the back. That's good. There's also, of course, the number Zach gets a 1502 and his SATs and Stanford is all over him.

Jesse's fucking just so mad in sense so mad. So guys, let's not forget the one where Yeah, he and Jesse started him romantic feelings for each other on vacation the highlight of which is just that Elizabeth Barclays in a bikini I mean, she's in showgirls. We don't know. This was free showgirls, Dan. All right. So on this app saved by the developmental analogy, let's close down discussion and talk about final judgment. Grace of Monaco. Was this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie,

or a movie we kind of liked? I'm going to start for once. I'm going to say, you loved it. Bad bad movie. It was boring and in addition to having the moral that Monaco should be hold out on the moral judgment that like are the moral grounds that it should be a tax dodge for rich people the fact that she's like we need money for this orphanage and he's like what can I do I can't start taxing the residents here

to use the money to pay for services. That's not what Monaco does. Yeah, so it puts that message forth. There is Monacold. And it also puts the message forth that Grace Kelly should be a servile wife, standing by her man, rather than having her own career as an artist in Hollywood.

Those two things together, that's a great. Also, there's- Not so great, Kelly. Barely any kind of watching this movie. I don't know why I should care. I will say that it's not so terrible as a movie that I feel like it necessarily makes sense that it went straight from canned to lifetime.

Like there are much worse movies that have had theatrical releases. But that's not enough to recommend it. That's what I said. That's true. Not as bad as other movies. Yeah. Yeah. As far as turns go, it's pretty firm.

It's not one of those wet ones. It's hard to clean up. Yeah. I'm going to go, I'm going to agree with you Dan. I'm going to say those wet ones. It's hard to clean up. Yeah, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna agree with you Dan. I'm gonna say bad, bad movie. I think you mentioned when we were watching Elliot that if it had a lighter tone, it might be more fun, but it takes itself so seriously

and it features, especially near the end, like every scene features like opera music. Yeah. The movie ends that almost like deifies the characters, it's crazy. The movie ends with Grace Kelly reading a letter from Frank Langella about how the serenity she has gained is what I guess all like men are striving for when they worship God.

And that, and there's Angelic Choirs in the background. And yeah, and that's right before time gets unstuck and we are trapped in some kind of unending loop of Grace Kelly's life. It comes a real Kelly House 5. We're just experiencing moments out of sync. But not in the fun way at the end of Easy Rider 2. Or the old man was getting the air gun.

Yeah, which is like the ending of Akira. Yeah, it's con-nashards of time. Yeah, it's stuck in a singularity. Like in wax or the discovery of television among the bees. But yeah, it's setting Grace Kelly up as a sort of martyr saint in this weird way. And I agree with both you guys that it was boring. That's beautiful.

Look at it times. But it looks like an expensive perfume commercial from a movie. It's boring. It's the message is offensive in the way that is saying saying she was right to deny herself a part of herself. And yeah, it's just really like, it's kind of disgustingly over the top in terms of how serious it takes it. Even the King's speech. But Parker Posey got paid. That's cool.

If you had told the story from the point of view of Parker Posey's character and with a sense of humor, like they could have been a good movie. This like, Craig, who is making life hell for Grace Kelly but turns out to like save the day in the end by unmasking the plot by the poster. That was great. To unseat him from the throne, you know. The moment Grace Kelly foils the plot to take over the throne.

That's the fucking B plot of the movie. That's the B plot of the movie. Yeah. That's right. Kelly. Who's the mole? That's true. The B plot of the movie likes it what as as with the B plot of Spider-Man and the X man by like, Kaelin was who's the mole. But that Kellombo. That's the

plot you're saying. The plot is just crazy adventures from the get it. Yeah. Yes, that's true. Yeah. Grace Kelly as Kellombo. The detective who who discovers it. That's the get it. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah, Grace Kelly as Kellombo, the detective who discovers it, that's the B plot. But like, the King's speech, which is about World War II, has more jokes in it, and a lighter sense of like, just-

That's what you get when you bang on Jeffrey Rush as opposed to Tim Ross. I'll tell you what, his name may be Rush, but he takes his time, and his time, in, is impeccable. Okay, well, that's terrible. You know, he was named after the band rush? No, it's not true.

Yeah, this original name was Jeffrey today's time. I'm sorry. And he is no fly by night. No, he's living in the limelight, though. He will be in the limelight. He's got the spirit of radio. I get to tell you, but that answers to be in moving pictures. Before we move on.

What was the name of their future concept album? 2112? Yeah, he'll be around until then. He doesn't have to roll the bones. I've big big money. Is that a restaurant? Five-core Gangels. But before he move on.

Sledgehammer, not a rush song. Peter, Archangel, Gabriel. So I didn't give my official bad bad. Okay. A tie is a pedantic person. I think when he pronounces his words, it's in a very show offy way. Gyro, hero, soccer blue, soccer blue, airs rock, ooh, lol. A. Giro. E-ro. Sakrablu. Sakrablu. Ayrs Rock.

Oolah Ryul. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. What you are witnessing is real. The participants are not actors. They are actual litigants with real cases. They call in via Skype to Judge John Hodgman's Court, the real People's Court. Now I call you to Judge John Hodgman's internet court,

find it at maximumfund.org, or wherever you download podcasts. Squarespace, the all in one. Squarespace. Website, platform. Now, okay, let's say one thing. Dan Stewart, I wanna start a website. Sure. It's gonna be called dogbutts.com. Okay. It's your place online for dogs, buts,

and what to do with them. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know how to start a website. What to do with them? You sink that. Room and clean up after. Okay. And some other stuff.

Now, where do I, how do I set up a website? Where do I go? Dan? Well, I tried typing dogbuds.com and trying to typewriter. And it didn't work. You go to a company that I'm sure is very excited about having dogs, but associated with them. So thank you for going there with your brain.

But you go to Squirt Space. Okay. It's called PenguinFarts.com. It's your place on the internet for Farts made by Panguins. Look, here's the thing. Squarespace. That sounds adorable. Whatever you want to make your website about, you can do it at Squarespace. Even Farts from Panguins are butts from dogs.

Yeah. Okay, let's say this. I've got a Christopher Lee fan page I want to put up. That sounds true. It's called PenguinFarts.com. Well, I would be pissed online for the great British actor, Christopher Lee. Where do I go?

How do I do it? You go to squarespace.com. You know why? Because Squarespace sites look professionally designed, regardless of your skill level, because my skill level is not a super low. You don't need to know anything about code. You think the devil wears nada.

My skill level is at the same level. Yeah. Well, you don't need to know coding. You can. So you're saying they talk to their manager and they're going to knock off that coding. That's right. That coding is not put in the factory.

Wow. Yeah, you can get a better. Okay, so what about will it work on like a phone? Will it work on a tablet? Yeah. No, it's what he got. I'm getting a lot of mobile traffic at paying the cards. Sure. It's a lot of mobile traffic. Sure, you want you appeal to on the go

Uses I'm a businessman. I want to learn about Christopher Leaf and maybe a penguin farts when I click on the buttons Well, here's good news for you. It'll look great on your phone or the great on your tablet. It doesn't matter That sounds like response on design. Yeah, that does sound very responsive to the needs of me and the consumer. Now Dan, so I don't need to know how to code because that's good. I don't know how to it to it automatically changes for a phone or a tablet or a computer or a river. Now, uh, is there and there's no limit to what I can do with it? They're not gonna judge me. I can do whatever I want with it. I mean, within reason. I mean, legal. Yeah, there you go. But let's say I want to finally marry my twin interests of Christopher Lee and what

it sounds like, what a penguin farts. It did sound like he was going to marry a twin. Perfectly. I can't marry my twin. One that's illegal too. I'm not a tried to do her. She's not my type. She's married already and I'm married already.

Those are three good reasons. Well, look, if you want to start your weirdo fan site, you can start your free trial to get today with no credit card required at squarespace.com. And we even need a credit card to start it up. You don't. And you can use the offer code. It's convenient now. You can use the offer code flop

to get 10% off your first purchase. Squarespace build it beautiful. Thank you for sponsoring the flop house. Thank you very much for sponsoring it and giving me the opportunity to do my Christopher Lee Penguin Farts website. And offer code is flop. Yeah. Go to squarespace.com type in flop 10% off. Start up your site. Just not a Christopher Lee site. Maybe like an Elliott Kaelin fan site. Maybe do one of those. Called dogfarts. Dogfarts.com your latest online for unofficial L.E.K.L. and news.

I'm sure dog dogfarts.com must exist. Yeah, but now if it doesn't, why does the internet even be this a waste of human endeavor? Now it's time why did Stephen Hawking invent it? You know, I have no idea. Now it's time to find old judge men. Now, to do to do final judgment. Did it do? It's fairly great.

Grace of Monaco, here you hear ye. That would you please. Movie. Now it's time. I find you not guilty for letters from listeners. Letters from people like you who wrote in to us, hoping for a response. What you're saying, Dan, is that someone took the time to write a letter to us? Well, I think we owe him at least one rhyme about letters. The letters they wrote about letters.

I'm singing out of my throat should be singing from the diaphragm But is that what I'm doing? It's not what I am doing Right now never took a lesson in my life But I still want to sing all my life about letters from you I run life with the word life. You're not supposed to do that But I did it anyway Letters about us. All right well thank you and thank you Stuart for getting another beer and splurping in the mic.

Okay call them Mike Slurper. Mike Slurper, PI. Just one more Slurper, sir. That's what she walked into my office and walked right back out again. I should really stop slurping. She had a gross outlook on her. I know it's a cold beverage. I don't need to take it that slowly. I'm one of the... close the door is one of you is a...

A what? A what? I said a murderer. Your murderer. The murderer is? Yeah. You got it? She had legs going all the way up to. Well, okay, whoa. Yeah, that's pretty gross.

I'm sorry. Speaking of graphic, read us the letter that I assume is about crying having sex with the transformers. It goes like this, hey, Dan. This is very important. You're the best guy. Please.

I love you the most, love Dan. Please do not read this on the air in front of a quote Stuart Wellington. If he's around, please ask him to step into another room. One way in quotes. If he really exists. If he doesn't leave immediately, if he doesn't leave immediately, you and Elliot work on your Woody Allen impressions.

I don't have to work on it. It's perfect. I was speaking to Stuart the other day and you and Elliot working your Woody Allen impressions. I don't have to work on it. It's perfect. I was speaking to Stuart the other day and why I wondered why is he with the Dungeons and Dragons? It's more like, she's a beautiful woman. Why was she, I don't understand. You know, beautiful, intelligent woman. I know. I once said sex with Stuart as far as empty experiences go is one of one of the most satisfying

So okay the letter goes okay. He's going now right? The person that has been on the flop house for the past six months is not Stewart Wellington He is an imposter. Please be careful and please do not let this imposter know that you know this I do not know when the switch happened and I do not know the true identity of the imposter You've been recording with I do not know where the real steward is good luck Alex last name with held Hey guys you guys done doing those impressions. Yeah, yeah, sure I assume that was detective Alex cross Yeah, you guys just got leather malice cross Matt was he talking about that snake, man, he killed in that one, maybe? Mattress cross.

What's the name of Jonah Hex? He was in Jonah Hex too. No. Uh-oh. So no clues with any other clues. So what are the clues going to be? I mean, he seems like Stuart based on the three Modellos he has lined up over there.

And he sounds like Stuart. And I guess I'm assuming some sort of metal t-shirt that he has on. Yeah, it says Gorguts on it. That's a good guess. Oh, we saw them. Yeah, we saw them. How were Gorguts?

Were they a good bad, bad, bad, bad, or did you know? They were a band I kind of liked. They were good. They were very heavy, very sludgy. Mm-hmm. So sludgy is a good thing. I mean, I haven't noticed anything different

about Stewart except that he doesn't rarow very much anymore, but I think that's just because he's trying to avoid typecasting. And pigeonhole. And I forget, because I'm drunk. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha when I reject that letters premise out of hand. Until my dead body is found in the rib without hands. This is the Russian mob, Kiyomi. Yeah.

This is from James last name with hell. Lipton. All right. He says, if Elliot said Woods, Earl Jones, Franco, Marsden, Dean, or Brown, he's Lee Albuquerhead, handover Ziggy, movie rights. Oh, wow. MC Gain, he calls on a bag, trademark, and he pop ice chicken. I forgot about to hand over Ziggy movie rights. Oh wow, MC Gainy Kool-Slaw on a bag, trademark,

and he, Popeye's chicken. I forgot about MC Gainy Kool-Slaw's bag. But he did not. No, you gotta get up pretty early in the morning to guess what nickname of a real person I'm gonna add to your first name. But James says, good day, dude. It's a good thing his name is DJ.

I would've said Kool-Slaw. So easy to figure out. I've been listening to your back catalog for the umpit the time of notice that of all the opc emcee gainy and dj calls of replace us together yeah sorry you're reading a letter uh... all the opi's tour team seven infinity with australian actors and films the most

about that i think you all are certainly don't i can't tell the difference between australia and scottland you've all said ends of the world you've all recommended us exploitation films in the past including wakin fright mad mad max beyond thunder dome and the r rated sex romped horror shocker that is picnic and hanging rock okay that's one per person i gotta uh i gotta apologize for something dude yeah i've never actually seen wakin fright oh yeah i, you like it. You like it a lot. I know I'd like it. I just haven't watched it yet.

Hey, look, there's not much. I think I'm going to watch it next week. Okay. You, you, look, we lead busy modern lives. As long as no kangaroos get killed, I've got some news for you. I just love them ruse. As long as everybody stays asleep and fright during the movie. He says, as long as there isn't just one last call in the movie, one last call, is it

fair to say that stew is the most true blue or is fair dinkam? Will you sell a lossy beer or tenies in your pub, Stuart? I look, I recommended Wagon fright, road games, and dead and drive-in. I think, yeah, you have, see, my problem is, I think my favorite movies that I, my brain assumes are osploitation movies are actually Richard Stanley movies and he's South African, right? Oh, is he hardware and...

Yeah, and red. And red. I don't know, I mean, flat Stanley has been all over the world. Are they related? Yes, they're brothers. and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and But here we go. I think you have reached a level of fame where a flop house down under show is now feasible. But to prepare you for this, here's some slang

you might want to brush up on. So there's a quiz here. Well, I know Foster's means beer. Do-na. Do-na. Is it A, do-V, B, a cigarette, C, a spookly good bad movie, uh, yeah, that's it. I'm gonna say donut.

I'm gonna say a Durner Kabab. It's a duvet. Don't come back. A duvet. What's a duvet? Uh, it's like a comforter. Shunder. So blanket. Shunder.

Everybody, let's stop putting on airs, just call them blankets, okay? I mean, it's a blanket that's got stuffing inside it. But... Bloody doll. Yeah, I put stuff on top of pizza, it's still a pizza. Am I right? Thank you.

I put breadcrumbs inside my blanket. Shundra. That kind of stuffing you're using? Shundra, cricket, cricket bevo. Well, that's, that's also slang. We don't know what bevo is. House cat aftermath, that's B or C vomit. We all know this one. Yeah. Come on. Chunder is thunder that's laughing like juggling. There you go. You've got bucklies.

You've got bucklies. A, no chance. B, food in your teeth. C, a clumsy tongue. You have no idea. That's no chance. a clumsy tongue. You have no idea. I don't know. I have no chance. Name after Buckley's, I don't know. William F Buckley. Plunk. I know this one. Is it A, a ripped off ding dong, B, cheap wine, C, open wound. I'm gonna say it's a ding dong. It's cheap wine. Damn it. Which could lead to a ripped off ding dong? Exactly.

I think I'm gonna end. I think you've been seeing a movie. I think I'm actually gonna end on this next one because it's the most delightful crack a fat. A, have an erection, be get angry, see, eat like an aging French actor. That's called dip or doing. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that we all know that crack up fat. Crack up fat. Don't it is, is had to have an erection. That's pretty great. Okay, that sounds right. Now, it's pretty delightful. All this has made me realize that I'm not going to understand what anyone's saying if we go to Australia.

But if Australians want to pay us to come there. Yeah, we got some time now, I guess. I mean, I've got lots of time. Elliot shaking his head. No, shaking my head like you. So I got to want to get bitten by a giant spider monster. Look, I don't need it. There's a bunch of dryers down there in the underdark.

There's a reason I don't go to a monster island or that plays from God's delivers in the sea monster. I don't need a giant spider attacking me. What's the name of the giant spider in in lower the ranks She lob she or ungoliant There's more than what? So this last letter for the evening is from Cassandra last name withheld willson who writes high whose title is Hi, I'm drunk have a letter

I'm a wee bit drunk. So naturally, I decided to write a letter into your bod past, you know, for a lot, for yucks or rucks. Of course, I have no idea what to actually will fire about. So I'll just ask questions of each view. Dan, if I were a butt, what will you spank me with? I don't like this question. Yeah, yeah. What is bitty, bitty bumming? And why is it something that seems reserved for someone

financially well off? Oh, I can explain that. Stuart. Stu Balls. Oxfrap. That's not a question. Stu Balls. There.

That's butter. Better. What the fuck ever? So I guess this question is hellaugu. I guess is I guess a spatula That's what I'd spank Well, I think or metal metal spatula seems like it hurt But I guess that's the point. I mean not if you hit in the fleshy part of the buttocks So bitty bitty bumming as supposed to what hitting their coccyx

Bitty bitty bumming I think when he says all day long, I'd bitty, bitty bum. It's just kind of like, as far as I can understand, puttering around, like not doing much of anything. And you have to be rich to do that because otherwise, life in the shuttle is a game of survival and a fight to see another day. But as you would know, from the later in the song, what he would do is spend eight hours every day discussing the learning books, the holy books with the learned men, and he'd finally have a seat in the synagogue by the Eastern wall. And that type of thing would be the sweetest of all.

Where you see he doesn't really want to do nothing all day. He wants to become closer to his God and to the literate wisdom that is denied him because of his poverty. But Elliot, what would he do if he were a rich man? That's what kind of what I just said. So, there was another song they cut out called, if I was Jonathan Richmond. And it was like, I'd sing songs like this, you know. That was Pablo Picasso and Roadrunner.

And driving at night. Gonna go to the government center. You're rich, you're rich. With driving at night. Gonna go to the government center. Rich with the modern lovers. If I were a Jonathan Richmond, Stewart. Yeah. Hey, how you doing? All right. Well, there you go. Perfect answer. You have defeated the Gomes of Water. Just wrap up the letter. There you go. Sexiest letter ever, bam. Cassandra. I'm trying to

decide, PS, I'm trying to decide if I'll regret this in the morning, at least I didn't hit on you. You sexy, sexy, sex muffins, you. So there you go. Yeah, at least. At least. And then most, what about the next letter? I told you that was the last letter. Oh. Terrible trade. It's a secret. So final judgments. Did you do it? Did you become unstuck in time like Grace Kelly?

I'm a child. I'm a baby Kelly. I don't know what's going on. Someone blew up the McCrann crystal. No, this is time for our fun. Super we do. Our fun will segment it. I'm getting near to the North Pole. Where we, where we recommend this.

That's sort of Amy Polar Express. That's like the Polar Express, but they're all Amy Polar. That's terrifying. It sounds like a Vialata fun, I don't know. Yeah. This is, you'd rather, wait, rather than a train where everyone's Amy Polar, you'd rather a train with some kind of creepy Tom Hanks and Aerosmith waiting for you at the other end.

Aerosmith, the comic book series. No, not Aerosmith, the fantasy series. Aerosmith, the band, which is playing at North Pole at the end of Polar Express, the music. Wait, that sounds crazy. Aerosmith, I'm at the rockin' at the top of the world. What? But they're like elf Aerosmith. Actually, that sounds crazy. Yeah, of course, it's time I've had the rockin' at the top of the world. What? But they're like elf arrowsmith.

Actually, that sounds amazing. I don't know. I'd be crying with... Arrow arrowsmith. Um, okay, well that's... You know what, I wouldn't want to miss a thing. It's crazy. It's amazing.

You'll be crying. Well, uh... Live on the edge. Yeah, that dude looks like a lady. Amazing, you'll be crying. Well, live on the edge. Yeah, that dude looks like a lady. But he's still having love in an elevator. No, it doesn't even have any connection. Moving on up when you're going down.

Yeah, all right, sweet emotion. We all did it. Now, for the last segment of the night, just above the show, which is where we recommend movies that we liked. The show was a podcast. Yeah, this show. Not that other one. No, not that 70s podcast. This is where we recommend movies. You should watch instead of grace of Monaco Stewart.

No, I'll read them in almost anything. Okay. Okay. So before I, before we do the Flapp house recommends a section of this podcast, we're going to do a quick brief Aside we're going to step into our We're going to No, so we're going to do that reoccurring segment flop house in the aisles LA and I went to a Broadway show this weekend. That's true. We did. We saw with Hamilton. Hamilton. So Hamilton. Hamilton. Uh, producer. George Hamilton.

Produced by a Max Fun supporter. Uh, Lynn Manuel Miranda. Produced written star. Yeah, he did everything. He wrote the lyrics. The guy did everything. He was great. I did everything. I loved his new, it's written, starring. Yeah, he did everything. He wrote the lyrics. The guy did everything. He was great. I loved his earlier show in the Heights. I found Hamilton to be even a quantum leap forward from that excellent show.

And it had history stuff. You love history stuff. I love history stuff. It was kind of like he's called History. He had great songs, that history. It had strong characters. It had strong emotions. As my wife said to me during intermission, I finally understand the American Revolution

better than I did from school. Sure. It was a lot like Alexander Smith, the Floppyos house cat theme song creator. He described it as epic rap battles of history. Except not bad. Except not bad. That's the thing. Oh yeah. The problem with epic rap battles of history is it's gimmick. It's not bad. That's the thing. Oh, yeah.

The problem with epic rap battles of history is it's gimmickry, and you're not really getting to the heart of who these people were. Yes. Hamilton is using modern musical styles. There's rap, there's R&B, there's also some more traditional musical type numbers and ballads and things. Using those to get at the feel of the lives of these characters, what it was like to live at that point in history for them, what it's like to be a young person coming into a new country

and a new city and whatever and trying to make your place in history, what it's like to be starting a new enterprise that could go either way and it's very risky, like, and in a world where violence is not as a stone's throw away because dueling is still something that's generally accepted in certain quarters of society There were times when I got on her in face is so important that people will die for it basically Yeah, exactly now there were times in it where someone would be rapping and they'd be like But the Congress doesn't think that we should pass this law and I'd be like okay It's it's getting towards that edge where you're getting into the territory of like you know

It'll really get kids interested in history. If we wrap about it, but it never... Yeah, I don't feel that. Like, I... Because partly because the songs are really good. I've never really had a real connection to any stage performance before, but this time, this show afterwards, both Elliot and I clearly had been crying. Like, it clearly touched me.

I mean, to say that about me is very little because I cry a lot of commercials. States bonuses. I have cried at commercials before. Like I cry a lot of stuff. I went and see. You drop that hammer on your toe. Ironically dry as a bone.

The boner that I had. I have a toe hurt finish. But just my own. But it was but theirs. but I think partly because I was crying at one point because it was at the end of act one, they've they've, they've calm it, they've won this revolution against all odds at the end of act two because their lives have reached a point of reality. But like the, but it was, it was a very like powerful and affecting show.

The weirdest thing for me was how the thing that got me was the weird connection I had emotionally between the Aaron Burr character and Gollum from the animated return to the King movie, which I remember as a kid seeing that movie and running to my room in tears because I was so sad that this like desperate poor creature had to die.

I mean, that's fair. Well, then one of the things that was great about the shows that it put you into the heads of Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton simultaneously. And you could see where both of them were coming from. Speaking for myself, as someone who is... Well, I'm really enjoying the talk between the two of you who saw this play without me.

Oh, super great, dude. So two things. One for... Thanks for really being inclusive in this discussion. One as someone who has just finished spending a lot of a number of years working at the same place and for many of those years close to the guy in charge and is now embarking on a whatever's the next stage in my career. Yeah. There was something was something very cool. Golden Vista's lie before you. Yeah, there was something very touching to me personally

about the point in the show where Alexander Hamilton is leaving the service of George Washington and it's trying to kind of figure out what he is in this world now. It's around that time that Alexander Hamilton starts cheating on his wife. And that was the part where my wife, Trinimich, she says, I hope you don't relate to this part of the story.

And I did not. And the second thing I was gonna say, I don't even remember, dude, so we can still time out Hamilton now. I didn't think of it. Oh, can I wake up for my nap now? Sure, so I'm gonna reg, now that we're done with flop house in the aisles.

This. Did it it it it it it, we're back to recommendations. My name's Stuart Wellington from the flop house podcast. I'm gonna recommend a movie said in Brooklyn, New York, starring Tom Hardy as a Brooklyn bartender called the drop Dark Knight Rises. It's written. It's a. The drop. Yeah, it's called the drop. It's screenplayed by Dennis LeHane, crime Maestro himself,

and it is a, it's also I think the last performance of James Gandalfini. Yeah I believe that is true. It is a kind of a dour, kind of grim horror horror. I keep I keep confusing like crime and noir with horror. Yeah you've got a really wide wide definition of what's the horror movie. I mean what's more frightening than for me? Crime man. What's more frightening than for me, crime, man? What's more horrifying than the corruption in the system? So it's the fact that we're all going to die, like noted actor James Kimmelfield.

Well, we say games in, oh, Fanny, we'd say it to the abyss. So it is a movie they'd be abyss. It is a, it is a, it is a, well, it is a well-acted and a, it is a, it is a well, it is a well acted and a well, the sets are great and the accents are kind of all over the place. And there's a gorgeous puppy dog in it and it is a slow-moving thriller that I felt really pays off in the end and I thought it was pretty great. And for people who are worried, the dog's injured at the beginning of the movie,

but survives the film. Spoiler alert. Oh, I remember what I was going to say about Hamilton. There's no joy. As I was saying, the steward, one of the things I liked about it was that Thomas Jefferson is basically portrayed as being Andre 3000 from Outcast. He's this kind of like flamboyant, happy, good lucky guy. He's always like bouncing around the stage and just being snide to people. And I really enjoyed

that characterization of him. Um, I'm going to write to James Madison's big boy. All right. Wow. In depth, like semi-modern hip-hop knowledge from Elliot. Yes, and then from one of the most popular groups, with the most popular song. And I didn't even mean big boy from Outcast, I meant Bob's big boy. Oh wow, Bob's big boy. In my hometown it was A's R's.

No, I meant big boy from Outcast. I want to recommend the movie Project NEM, which I actually watched just today. You mean Mrs. Frisbee and the rats of NEM? which I actually watched just today. You mean Mrs. Frisbee and the Rats of NEM? Yes. Which is a documentary. I don't know if that's the book, but Mrs. Frisbee and the secret in NEM. It's secret in NEM.

The secret in NEM is the movie. Mrs. Frisbee and the Rats of NEM is the book. It's a fucking great movie. But the movie, I'm recommending, has nothing to do with those. It's called, let's do it. Well then why do we bring it up? Let's done Bluth, right? Yeah, it is.

Oh, it's the Bluthiest. Damn it. I put up with your goddamn stories about Goddamn Hamilton. Don Bluth was absent from the fourth season of a RESTED DEVELOPMENT. The whole Bluth family was there. He was animated. Don Bluth was nowhere to be found.

Dan, continue with your movie. It's called Project NIM. Yeah, it's a documentary about a scientific experiment where they took a champ and tried to raise it as a child and teach it sign language to see if the champ could learn language, but the scientific experiment was laughably fuzzy or at least it would be laughably fuzzy.

Because there was a champ involved. I mean, it was just very unscientific and it would be laughably fuzzy. Because there was a chimp involved. I mean, it was just fuzzy. It was very unscientific and it would be funny how unscientific it was if it did not lead to a bunch of sort of unintentional cruelty to this chimp who kept being sort of rested from various parental figures throughout its life and spending a lot of time in cages toward the end of its life. There is a sort of happy ending if you're scared about seeing an animal get mistreated, but it's kind of like the new planet of the Apes movies if there was no April rising. So without the most exciting part. Yeah, but it's a really good documentary.

One thing that I have a bit of a reservation about is they use a lot of reenactments in it without necessarily telling you when it's reenactment, which I'm not super wild about, but otherwise it's like for us Nixon. A couple of into prosthetics, entirely reenactment. It's all eights, but it's a good documentary in the Aero Morse style. I'm looking up now. I had never heard of it. It's directed by the same guy who made man on wire.

Yeah. I liked a lot. And also theory of everything, which I haven't seen. Yeah. So that's my recommendation project. Then I'm going to recommend a movie and you guys can feel free to interrupt me as I'm talking about it. Oh, it's going to be a big man, huh?

Bigger man. I'm going to recommend a movie called Obvious Child and I enjoyed starring Jenny Slade directed by Jillian Robes Pierre, not the Robes Pierre from the French Revolution. Oh, that a different person. I was assuming it was that one. Who makes movies? And it's a movie about a woman who's a stand-up comedian, who's life is a little bit of a mess.

And after a one-night stand, she discovers herself to be pregnant. And the dramatic stakes in the movie turned out to be relatively low. That was fine. It was the movie that I realized afterwards when I go into a Judd Aptown movie, this is the movie that I want to see where I feel like it's genuinely at funny at times, but it's also genuinely like emotional at times. You don't want to see dudes ever growing down. Well, I never want to see that ever, but also the emotions and the jokes are kind of woven together into the same fabric as opposed to just kind of like slammed next to each other

whenever another. It's a very sweet movie. Yeah. I thought it's a very sweet kind of Loki movie and it continues. Loki's in it. Yeah, Loki's in it. And it continues Gabby Hoffman's run as the friend who tells who finds out that her friend is pregnant as he also did in wild.

So I thought you were just going to be like, friend who is pregnant as she also did in wild. So. Oh, I thought you were just gonna be like, friend who is a weirdo. Well, that too. Kaby Hoffman is the go-to weirdo in movies and TV, right? Modern indie movie and TV comedy. David Cross has a funny scene in it. The guy who plays plop from the US offices in it.

Plop? He's a plop. Oh, is he one of the new guys in the end? He's one of the new guys. from the US offices in it. He's one of the new guys. He's one of the new guys. Yeah, he's in it too. All right. Yeah, I know I know. He gets nicknamed plop. The guy who was like the second gym. Yeah.

Yeah. And, uh, Emeraldured Kind is in it. So be kind, rewind to your local video store and rent obvious child. I mean, I walk backwards there. Yeah, you have to talk backwards the whole time. Sure, this sounds like I'm in a weird Harry Potter universe. Like a fucking Neil Gaiman novel.

Yeah. That's right. I was just sitting here wasting my time trying to think of what an obvious child would be backwards. I was like, delicious. Delicious to be both. Delicious to be both. It's like, delitch. Delicious V-Bow. Oh, the go.

Anyway. Delicious V-Bow. Yeah. So three great recommendations that go great together. Great guys. Yeah, watch them all back to back and tell us whether they can possibly attribute. The drop, project name, and obvious child

are playing at nowhere at the same time They're a terrible triple feature. Well one has a puppy one has a monkey and one has a fetus There you go that's the connection the three animal groups small living things It's a really really now that sounds like the title of an indie movie about a pet shop, small living things. Or a really bad Japanese translation of the Talking Heads album Little Creatures. But this has been the flop house. It's the Japanese translations also be like, stay there, it's bright. Also, I'm afraid of these tones.

Yeah. Oh, Japan, your language is very different from ours. And yet you have no words for turtle soup. your language is very different from ours and yet you have no words for turtle soup. Call back. But this is a podcast and for it, I've been Dan McCoy. Hey guys, this is a podcast and I've been steward Wellington. Look, I'm not going to tell you if it's a podcast or not, you live your own life and make up your own mind, but I'm Elliot Kay. Do you with it? Good night everyone. Choose life. Deal with life. Choose good night. Yeah.

How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons?

How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons?

How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? How are lemons? Fantastic. Okay, how are levels doing? Love-wise, you're not gonna go hot. Sorry, sorry. I mean, I married and in love and we have a baby who loves us, I love him. Is your baby really love you or does he just see you as a source of food and shelter? That's love, right there. Okay, fair enough. Um, you guys all. He also sees me as a source of belly fart kisses. Mm-hmm. That's love, right? And deep pooping.

And yeah, and I clean up his poop, yeah. The deep pooping. Yeah. Infant to the deep pooping. The deep pooping. Sorry, Lance Henrickson as infant. Frank infant, special agents undercover as a baby. Oh wow, I guess he's due, you know, he's due for a career reinvention.

Lentenerson, yeah. He's off making pots somewhere. Making pots somewhere. So he's just hammering out metal pots, I assume. He does ceramic. Or is he making time with any pots? Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture, Artistone Listener Supported Welcome to the Lady to Lady Show

Behind Door Number One we have Fantastic Whooply Dests like Aisha Tyler, French Stewart, Shredda, and more. Behind Door Number Two we have Road Trip and Sleep Over Games Like, would you rather and never have I ever the kind of games that remind you of being a kid? Door number three brings you fresh hot episodes every Wednesday. You can find them on iTunes and the MaximumPon.org.

Now pick a door! Just kidding! They're not real! Because we're a podcast! You're all winners! And we didn't really think this through. Maybe the lady. You