The Flop House - Ep. #193 - United Passions

Episode Date: December 12, 2015

On this episode we uncharacteristically talk sports, specifically futbol, as we watched the definitely-not-about-a-corrupt-organization FIFA film, United Passions. And who better to join us as we wade into these unfamiliar waters than sports expert and Flop House nemesis, David Kalan.  Elliott introduces us to the American Bean Council mascot, Stuart coins an all-new word, Dan instructs you on sportsball Fisher Stevens cosplay, and David tells us a fascinating story about Executive Decision. Movies recommended in this episode: Shaolin SoccerSteve JobsThe Battered Bastards of BaseballBeasts of No NationSicarioBeau Geste

On this episode of the Flop House, we discuss United Passions. And by the end of this episode, you're gonna be shouting, Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Hey everyone and welcome to the Flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey there Dan McCoy. I am Stewart Wellington. Hey Robo Stu. I predict, when I was imagining this intro, I was imagining Elliot reacting exactly like that. That happens when we have family functions too. It is not exclusive. Is it my fault you look like Satan then I would rather have you behind me? You know, Satan was so handsome.

Now, here's the thing. Why do you want Satan to get behind you? Don't you want in front of you where you can see where he's going? Yeah, you'd be like a rogue and have a powerful back stamp attack. No, to get behind you? Don't you want in front of you where you can see where he's going? Yeah, you think you'd be like a rogue and have a powerful back stamp attack? No, but don't you like, I think you're just hoping that he follows you

in lockstep though, isn't he? To where? Wait, you want him to be your, you want him to be your minion? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I don't think that's awesome with that beat. Yeah. Is it that though?

It'll be my wingman with that lady. All right. I bet she likes bad boys. This is one of those kind of favorites. Wait, wait, wait, wait, she likes bad boys. Wouldn't she be suckered in by the devil that she's talking to, who's trying to big you up? Or are you saying that you're a badder boy in the devil?

Yeah, he's the devil. It's his wingman. He must be the baddest boy of all. Start producing bad boys three, because I've got your star this guy Satan's friend So what what could possibly why would we possibly a David K. L. The least of the K. L. David Kaelin, the least of the Kaelin men. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's, sorry. Why would we have David Kaelin our sworn enemy on this podcast? I just thought you were given the people what they wanted. Uh, which people are you talking about? All people always want me. Okay, so that's been a lot of,

the surprising matter of free, free David Kaelin talk. That's right. What's interesting about the talk of free David Kaelin is the supplies that were somehow keeping him away from somewhere. Oh, no. You've had me shackled in like the basement for years. Well, yeah, when we were kids.

Yeah. So we had him trapped in a lamp, genie style. Oh, so cramped, man. But it was a desk lamp. But it was a little roomier than a normal. I like to wear my pants, genie style. That's how it's really blousey and dilowy? Yeah.

Oh, don't leave a lot of room for things to breathe. Exactly, like magic. And that's why they call it magic pants, what I like to do. Because he keeps a live rabbit in his pants. That's why we call him magic Johnson. Because this Johnson has a lot of magic room for free. What do you would say? Let me cast a snow on you with my magic wand.

Damn, that's about sports, too, guys? It brings back the... It says sports beyond the fact that it's Magic Johnson, but it's not Magic Johnson. Wait, there's a guy named Magic Johnson? Yeah. That's a crazy name. It is crazy.

It is. I'm going to tell me he owns a chain of movie theaters. That's why he's famous, yeah. And that's why you talked about him on the show, right? What? Let's show. So let's explain's why you talked about him on the show, right? What? Let's show. So let's explain why we have David Kail on the show tonight. Well guys, it is the heart of December.

And as they say, as the colloquialism goes, snow on the ground, play ball. I will not say this. No, no, no. Possibly a euphemism for them. Think about it for a new thing. And elderly person. Yeah. I'm not saying this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Do the curtains match the drapes? Because the drapes are white and snowy. They are in Mildwie and Mothi. Mildwie? Mildwie? I said Mildwie wrong, okay?

To sue me. But what would you get a fucking lawyer for kids? Yeah, what would Mildwie mean if you were to define his own words? Yeah, it's to a willing term. Good point. That's a great point. Both have the same claim on the English language. So Stuart, what does Millowee mean? Yeah. Millowee means that they are falling to pieces. Yeah. That's what an old presenter can. Yeah, okay? We've seen it's happened so many times so guys. It's a sports it sports time

Part of sports well there are a lot of sports in December well. There's hockey There's hockey basketball in football three of the four major sports are happening right now We're gonna talk about what we major was on Thanksgiving football is not localized entirely on Thanksgiving That's not the only day watch it? Some people don't watch it on Thanksgiving when their brothers don't let them put it on the TV. That's true. Yeah. It did happen on Thanksgiving.

Yeah, fucker. Anyway. Wow. What about that one-winner sport where you ride around on skis and then you shoot stuff with a gun? By Athalon? You change bonding?

Yeah. Thank you, Elliot, yes. Yeah. And then you have a parachute with a Union Jack on it. No matter what country you're from, it's very insulting to the other countries. Well, they don't sell them in other countries. They only sell that one flavor. They don't have a flavor of parachute. So I can get any flag put on this parachute. No, only the union jack.

So why are we talking sports? It's December sports time, USA. Cage misses right around the corner. Cage misses coming up and you know, it's a lot of times people, shock tovers over, people start putting up their cage miss decorations. They forget about small Vembr. And they forget about sports number.

In Sandal Vembr. And sandal, remember. And sandal, remember. So wait a minute. L.A. is this one of those? Is this like a like a Lucy and Ricky situation with you and David? Like your brother letting them. Yeah.

We draw lines literally. Wait a minute. We were buried. That show. They were brother and brother. Brother and brother. Wow. You did nothing much of Lucy.

Oh, ball. Did you? Anyway, speaking of balls soccer balls soccer balls. Yeah, which Lucille ball was not one of. Now, this was we watched a sports movie tonight. David, what do you tell us a little bit about what sport it was? I would say that we would watch the sports movie except there were almost no sports in the sports movie, but it was about soccer. That's right. Tonight we watched United Passions starring Jones Evans and Shannon, and Shannon, and Shannon

Worry together for once. That's right. The two shannons. So Shannon, Darryan, there gets the three shannons in there in the movie we got, we had to call three shannons in a fountain. That's right, we pushed them in a fountain. So wait, United Passions was the tagline? Oh no, there were in burlap sex.

Okay. The tagline was, that's a lot of shannons. Said by like a Mario character, that's a spicy shannon, said. And then he went down a big pipe into a world filled turtles. What else are you going to find in pipes? Yeah, I don't know. So David, do you know about soccer, right?

A little bit. Yeah. Okay, so why did we watch this movie again? I think we watched it because we all wanted to torture ourselves for like an hour and 45 minutes or so. So that's right. This movie got really bad reviews, right? It did. Yeah. It was, you might call it even a flop. Oh, I see what you did there.

What's up? What's up? What's up? Is that what the title is? So this show is about the history of FIFA, an international soccer organization named after a small French dog. an international soccer organization named after a small French dog. And it is, it happened to be released the same week that FIFA revealed to be a horribly corrupt organization that takes lots of bribe. I wouldn't say it was like revealed that week. I think people knew it for years, but then...

I didn't. Well, and I'm a regular soccer god watching guy. No, who look in type figures? I'm a real goal hit. guys. Yeah, no, who look in type thing? I'm a real goal head. It was released. I don't know if it was the week of, but in very short proximity to when FIFA's headquarters got stormed by the Swiss authorities earlier this year. Wait, so storm was there?

Yeah, storm was there. That was how they provided cover for the agents to go. She got it very dark. A lot of clouds rolled in. Mm-hmm. And FIFA's defense was lacking. They could use a real goalkeeper. So my soccer and Tyler, that's foul.

Red card. Offside. That is a term they use, yeah. Touchdown. No, that is not a term they use. Overruled. Objection. Oh, it's.

You got soccer. You got soccer, it is a term they use. Yeah, step up to the soccer field. Dan, how many times did you forget the name of this movie? What's up? Yeah. No, I definitely was like, fateful, something's magical. We were just trying to come up with every random term

for a late night's, gonna max movie, you tell who you could and assume that was right. Loveable occasions. Sabrina sacrifices. Ball, a Rama. Balls in your court. Togetherness sports. So the movie opens media res.

It does not. It's far before the the res is media. We start in the year 1904, which for me is the year that Teddy Roosevelt finally finally elected under his own power, not just becoming president from assassination, but as Dan mentioned, soccer a year zero. Soccer has a problem. Everyone plays it. And yet they're all playing with different rules, but they don't have an international governing body to tell them how they're doing it.

Nobody gets money off of it. Nobody's being paid for soccer. And even though rich people love to watch it as seen by the opening, where, well, here's how the movie opens. We're like, all the top hats in the world when it comes to the top-back adventures. The movie opens with generic footage

of children of different races playing soccer together. And we're gonna come back to that footage throughout the movie because the tie of the movie is that the main theme is everyone plays soccer and it's the one thing holding our fragile birds together. You know, I'd say, with their poop, it's disgusting. And that's one of the problems people was trying to stamp out was people playing soccer with poop, but not literally stamp out, because you don't want to step on poop. It's going to get all caught. I was burning on your front floor. Then you do want to stamp that out.

Otherwise, your house will burn down. And it will be crazy. And all in the cool, like, in funeral of poop. That's, if that's not a mental album, it's like in funeral of poop. We're sitting this poop off to die. Yeah. It's time to cross the rainbow bridge to Valhalla.

So it opens with, it opens with a series of letters being traded back and forth between Fisher Stevens and some other dude who are playing the Austrian and French soccer kings, I guess. I don't know. And they go to England and they want to ask the English to join their international soccer league. The English, as represented by two guys and top hats, one with a monocle on his eye, are not having any of it. A very idea that someone would tell an Englishman how to play soccer is laughable.

It sets up a conflict between England and the rest of the world, which never pays off in the film. So then we cut to a meeting where all the other European countries are mad that England enjoys. They decide they're just gonna have their own organization and never let England play in the competition. They're gonna go their own way. It's one of those great scenes you have in movies where like everybody's just hanging out in a room with their sleeves rolled up, just drinking and having a good time, like handing out jobs and responsibilities. Different accents. Yeah.

And there are these different accents which are kind of the same accent. And then there's this one guy who's like, but we're going to need a general secretary. And they're like, since you came up with that idea, you get to be the general secretary. And it's like, that's not. I think it's like, oh, there was a point where everybody did do it enough. The prostitute, it's a home. But the, which I assume is how that scene ended. They just ended it early.

They were trying to get across the thing that this was done for love of the game. That game, Fuzball. That game that we have not only seen much of. It came played on the tabletop with guys without arms. Now, spin around. They have a rod through all of their shoulders. That's been back in a 1904, the only way

to play soccer according to, and this is why FIFA needed to then in 1904, the only way to play soccer, according to, and this is why FIFA needed to come in, was to take men, chop their arms off, and run a steel rod through their shoulders, and spin their corpses or dying bodies around in circles to kick the ball. FIFA said no more. We will allow people to keep their arms.

They can't use them in play, except unless they're gollies, but we will keep their arms. But if that's the in play except unless they're goalies, but we will keep their arms. But if that's the one way. Depending of each other. If that's the one way I could provide it for my family, you betcha. Chop off my arms. Run that rod to my side. It was a very hard time. That was a good job. I want my son to look up to me as I am spun off the courses. We're all around. Occasionally kicking the ball. Yeah, and the pro also FIFA had to deal with the problem that sometimes the ball would just get caught between two players. Yeah, no, no, you're trying to spin them and their bodies. They would have to

jiggle the feet. Everyone had to jump in the stands just to cause them to have vibrations. The problem is partly that the bodies have entered rig or mortis. So they're so stiff that they can't even move the feet out of the way to get the ball out of there. One of the other big problems was there would always be one guy at the table who was way more into it than everyone else. And you're like, dude, calm down, stop shouting. I think that's what we don't care that much, eh? No, no, no, no. I was like, but the, It's just football, guys.

But they established very early on what this movie will be about, which is a series of administrative meetings, eventually press conferences and one of one interviews and offices with very little soccer being played on the film except eventually when archival footage is used. And there's literally a scene where I'm not, this is jumping ahead, but it's during World War II. And there's a scene where they're describing a game between Germans and Ukrainians where

the Germans are being outplayed by these starving Ukrainians, but the ref is clearly on the table. Clearly on the German side is cheating for the Germans. And this game is described to us in detail. We don't see it, we see flashes of it. But otherwise it is, it's like we might as well be watching listening to a radio show called Famous Moments in Soccer. But everybody eating soccer.

But they also don't over that closet, it's more of soccer balls, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, important in how they deal with soccer and how they affect FIFA. So that World War 2, what does this mean for FIFA? The Great Depression? FIFA, we've lost all our money. Eventually, it's September 2001 and we're in set bladders office. And just to establish the time period, there's a magazine on the desk with the World Trade Center is being destroyed on it. And it's like, it never, it's not mentioned at all. But the, just like, hey man, that's in the story of FIFA, September 11th is just window dressing. That's how important FIFA is.

The amazing thing though is that like, they talk about how these great world events affect soccer and then totally gloss over the world events that happen. Like, they go from like 1936 to 1942 where they show a newspaper talking about the Battle of Stongrad to 1950. And if I can't kick it like a ball, it's not important. I mean, this movie had a message to the world, which is if you're not bending it like Beckham,

you are not of note. Now, so they put together FIFA, the name comes right up. So at this point, you're probably thinking, yes, this movie is basically Star Wars, the Phantom Menace. If you took out all the aliens, it's that. Yes, this movie is basically Star Wars the Phantom Menace if you took out all the aliens it's You took out the aliens and replaced the laser swords with meetings Then yeah, it's it's Phantom Menace times two With same amount of weird racism though Now the movie it just it goes like this right jar Deppardew comes in and shocks the world by Daryl.

I have that, he's a girl. He used to be a sexist, man. Come on. He just, he can't stand that. Uruguay is celebrating. It's a Olympic medal when they had Mexicans on the team. He says. Yeah, there's a weird current in the movie of between showing FIFA as an anti-racist,

inclusive organization that's for thinking, and showing that people involved in FIFA having a very Eurocentric view of the world until a heroic guy named Seth Blatter stepped into the play. Oh, yeah, yeah, Joe Avalanche, who is Brazilian? Joe Avalanche. Yeah, Joe Avalanche. Yeah, Joe Avalanche. Because the movie is all about how FIFA is an all-inclusive organization, which is why the Brazilian

headbutt... You don't have to pay for drinks separately. All your food is included. All your food is included. Weirdly you have to pay for soccer. But there's a midnight buffet though. But that's Joe Avalanche who's Brazilian is played by Sam Neal, who is he Brazilian? Maybe he might have had a Brazil.

Yeah, that's pretty Brazilian. Now normally I'd go through the plot in more detail, but it's just the history of FIFA scene by scene. It's so much in meetings. There's a lot of meetings. There's a scene, but we can talk about a couple great scenes. For instance, it's 1950. The World Cup is in Brazil.

Brazil is playing Uruguay. Brazil loses. The movie presents this as The worst tragedy in human history. Yeah, it's just like everyone is horrified and Jarajap are due the head of FIFA Effectively kills him There's no motion walking towards about nine minutes of him walking towards the field to hand the trophy and now There's a great scene where he talks to an eccentric artist about designing the FIFA trophy. There's a scene where Tim Roth is as set bladders confronted with a trunk full of Adidas merchandise.

Now, this movie becomes less interesting the fewer mustaches are in it. Yeah. The first half of it is like a collection of historical mustaches. The last Fisher Stevens there is a movie, the more I got bored. That's very true. His head kind of looks like a soccer ball, no offense. No offense. A little bit special. He possibly takes offense.

At the implication that he is a Charlie Brown shaped head. It looks like somebody cartoonishly tied his tie way too tight. It looks like somebody cartoonishly tied his tie way too tight Just because he's a walking while he's he's a walking like New York review of books caricature of himself Because if you put a mustache on a soccer ball it would look like Just because he was passed over for the role of Wilson in castaway, but not by a lot When they were trying to cast the live action South Park movie they were considering him for the guidance counselor. Mr. Mackie. Yeah, Mr. Mackie.

The guy with the giant head, right? Yeah. And this is coming from Fisher Stevens fans. He's great. We love him. You're part of the FSF. Well, FSFC, Facebook. The Fisher Stevens fan love, Facebook is all about, look,

here's the thing. I'm not sure Steven Spank love. I'm not like that. Yeah. No, a little bit. A little bit. No, not for Feast Fucking. Now, he was the problem.

Internationally, there was no standardized guidelines for Fisher Steven's appreciation. And so Feast Fuck had to be created in order to create standardized rules and implement a real international competition for Fisher Stevens fandom. And now you just love Feast fucking Feast fucking all the time. And when you get when you when you apply when you give him a member state they give you a what a free face to wear. Yeah, a scrunchy. Well, you don't wear them at the same time, right?

Of course not. One is for formal and one is for informal occasions. Yeah, before there is... Unless, of course, FS himself. Fisher Stevens is in the room, which case you wear all of that, plus your Fuss Fuck T-shirt. Plus your Fuss Fuck gloves. Before there was an official organization, there were arguments about whether you could love both Short Circuit 2 and Hackers. And now we know that it's all acceptable. People would be like, I think Fisher Stevens is a director, producer.

Well, I think he's an actor. There was arguments of that type. Luckily, FistFuck stepped in. Now, this movie is the history of FIFA. It's a great of moustaches until it sums me of my effort at this. I mean, because are we really gonna go through the whole thing?

There's a couple of scenes of strange sexual attention between Gerard Depardieu and his daughter, I guess. Yeah, and who ages 30 years in about a five year period. Gerard Depardieu, they're like, yeah, the character's a little old, and we'll put some whiteness mustache. Her, they've just, they pack on the lightest. They just assume that Gerard Depardieu's character

just really takes care of himself. Oh, that's why a lot of clean living. It's more like, as a bowl of ice cream when he's stepping in broad. Sure, I mean, I thought his daughter is sleep. There's a scene where jar deppardus has a dish with ice cream and it was having a very important meeting with a ureg lion, soper official.

And you could tell that as an actor, he's just waiting for this like cut so he can eat that ice cream. Yummy, yummy. Now, I think he goes into his daughter's room And you can tell that as an actor he's just waiting for this like cut so he can eat that ice cream yummy Now I think he goes into his daughter's room when she sleeps at night and kisses her forehead and sucks the youth out of her So it's a kind of a daughter of Dorian Gray type situation or like a Listen like Elizabeth Bathrey was that the Yeah, yeah, she's amazing in her blood. Yeah, exactly. Whatever gets the youth. I just call it Liz. Oh, your buds?

Yeah, best buds. Oh, best. This is best. Lizbats. Yeah. But like the image, like get out of that blood shower, we got to go to the movies, Lizbats. Was that your Fred Sanford?

In the Sanford and Sun was saying he was got what he was faking a heart attack. Was with Lizbats. This is the big one. I'm coming, Lizbats. That's right. I'm going to Lizbath Bats. That's right. I'm talking about Liz with Batherace.

That's right. Now, here's the thing. This was a very boring movie. Yeah. It's a lot of, like I was saying, a lot of scenes of meetings, press conferences. I would say that, I'm sorry. No, Dan, talk about its finer points.

Dan, think of one good thing about this movie other than Fisher Stevens and Tim Roth got money from. Pad race. You think of episode one again. Again, episode star wars episode one, which had more sports in it than the FIFA movie. That is true. It had an entire pod race. It had like 10 minutes of sports non-stop. Two pod racing, pod races. If you count the fight at the end where Jake Lloyd says, now this is what I call pod racing pod races. If you count the fight at the end where Jake Lloyd says now this is what I call pod racing. Yes. Well, technically within the rules of Facebook, there's no pod racing association to implement the rules. So Boba could just do whatever he wants.

Have flame throwers. That's why. Yeah. That's why it's a spot. I mean, I don't think the point doors are in the pot. I thought they were in the visions They're in no those are part of the pot aren't I think these are things that the how do you define what is the pot and what is the That pot fuck the organizing Directorate fan club didn't wasn't there to organize this you know Anyway, Dan give me one good thing about the movie.

They irist in as a transition once. That was kind of old-timey. That's true. Old-timey scene transition element. I would say that people who specialize in old-timey costumes got a lot of work for this movie. And that's good for them. Oh, they used wild, wild life to talk about it.

Yeah, yeah. Another old-timey thing. Yeah, can't see. Now Dave, as a soccer fan, I know when the world cups come around, you're all like, yeah, cupin' it up, let's do this. That's exactly what I was saying. Corner gear, yeah. It's forever, yeah, go giant.

Giant's play football, but yeah, exactly. That's what they were talking about. American football, that's true. So as a soccer fan, do you feel like this is an accurate portrayal of the history of soccer? Because while we're watching it, you're like, oh, that's when blah blah happened. Oh, that's when this thing. Well, I was impressed honestly. And also, I don't know how anyone could watch this movie without the David David Annotations and understand a thing that was. I was going to say that I learned less from this movie than I have learned from just like glancing at Wikipedia articles

for like a couple of minutes at a time, because they tell you, like I recognized all of the major pivotal or most of the major pivotal points that they were like events that they were showing, but like there's nothing in this movie that indicates what they are at all. Yeah, I'll just show a thing happening. There's a couple of times when while we were watching

and I was like maybe I should tell David to save it for the podcast and like nah, it's boring. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Wait, what about Barboso giving up the goal in the shock loss by Brazil? The heroic way in 1950 is boring. That was a huge upset.

That's why I went and become a pirate captain, Dan. And Americana was very depressed. Wait, what was your question? Coffee Americana. No, no, the Americana, that's the stadium in Brazil that they played the 1950 World Cup Final in 2014. Oh, one was the biggest treasure. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. And there's where Jules Ramei, who is not Brazilian, just feels the pain so devoutly. Well, he's Brazilian at heart. And by what I want to mean by that is he enjoys women's butts. And he hates your iguana. I'm reading in the heart. You're very, very Brazilian. It's much like Arnold Schwarzenegger in that movie he made where he just goes to Rio for Carnival.

He enjoyed, this is it? Have you guys never seen this? Has it been pumping iron or something? I know, it is not in pumping iron. We've been pumping it in the destroyer. Yeah, it's called, it's called Kone in the Party. There's a thing he did where he's in Rio for Carnival. And there's some line about Carnival

as a celebration of my favorite body part, the ass. It's something that we used to say at work a lot. What was your question though? I totally forgot. So, oh no, this sequence where Brazil loses, it's 1950. Okay. And there's something very funny about it and we couldn't quite put our finger on why it was funny, where it just keeps, it shows no on-field play or next to none. It's showing a lot of people in the stands be excited. You have the announcer announcing it in Portuguese and you have these, and you just have the shots

of people in the same three locations being like, oh, there's like a barbershop and like a bar. And four old men just add a table on the street. Just the middle of a street. But like really well dressed for some reason. Cause they're old Brazilian men, they've a sense of style. Fine.

That's why it's called a Brazilian, or getting a Brazilian when you're tailored for a nice suit of clothes. Oh, I see. But like, we talked about how little soccer there actually is in this movie. And like until you see it, I cannot stress enough how little soccer there is in a movie

that is about soccer. Yeah. It's amazing. There's more soccer game. Which is weird since they clearly have the right to all these highlight reels of soccer games. They show some of the highlight reels later on, but it's like, that those are cool. They could have just showed those games

and it would have been more exciting when we watched. That's true. This is like a sports movie for like, I don't know, like fantasy football people who are like, you know what's really interesting is like the behind the scenes, like choices. Yeah, maybe.

They're like, I've watched Moneyball 3,000 times. I guess I'll watch something else. But you can also like, you can make Moneyball is great. It's not like Moneyball is fantastic. Yeah, a story of what's his name, Bucky. Billy Beans. Bucky Barnes.

Bucky Barnes. Yeah. Those might be the names of real people that exist. They are not involved with the Okundays. It's about Billy Bean, the general manager. The mask got for the American Bean Farmer. No, that is not him. Not Billy Bean.

He needs some beans today. That is the wrong person. See, beans make your fart. I don't think so. Oh, sorry. Billy Beans for beans. Yeah, of course, I'll Billy Beans for Beans. Yeah, of course, a bean would say that.

He would say, eat me, yummy, yummy. Billy Beans says beans don't make the fart. But let's look at the facts. Billy Beans, wrong beans, wrong for America. Brought to you by the Council of Animes of Beans. I don't know what that would make. Oh, no, grossly proud to some other thing. Some other things, some other source of beans. I don't know what that would be. Corn, I guess. Some other thing. Some other vegetable source of everything causes you to fart a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

Any leafy greens. Don't, don't slander Billy Bean. That's a, it's a Met's draft pick. He's a great guy. Okay. I'm like, perched. We've got a lot of fun. I don't know if he's a good guy, but I'm not a meta-series. So the movie, but there are a couple scenes like,

there are a couple scenes where FIFA is running out of money and needs Something to happen and set bladder can always find it but like ethically And set bladder always makes it happen But they don't show you don't make it happen. There's a scene where they're like we're running out of money We need sponsors, but we don't have companies to sponsor us and I goes hey that's someone from Coca-Cola that table over there Because they're at a bar and set bladder goes hold on a second And we see him walk over the table cut to next scene it's like three years like a real swim in oh yeah

the swimming pool and he gets a phone call from Sepilar that's like Coca-Cola is gonna give us some money great you got it the hangs up and it's like what did he how did he what did he do hey he's uh he's got a silver tongue man he's a magic man he knows how to sell it to him as a bride probably yeah but the best part of that is when uh Sanneela is swimming, he's a magic man. He knows how to sell. He'll give it to him as a bribe. Probably. But the best part of that is when Sam Neill is swimming and he's like, made, assistant, they didn't say who it was. Comes out and is just like, whatever. She just comes out and is like, Mr. Blatter on the phone. And it just sounds like an old man saying to a kid,

like, I gotta go pee, Mr. Blatter's on the phone. He walks in the bathroom. Excuse me, kid. You gotta take a collect call from Mr. Blatter. They walks into the bathroom. Excuse me, kid. I'm gonna take a collect call from Mr. Blatter. They're always collect calls. I'd love to hear this story, but Mr. Blatter's on the phone. I gotta go. Mr. Blatter lives in Florida. Call me guy who has to be. Man, Mr. Blatter called four times last night. Now the, there's old people be a lot. He up his neighbor, Mr. Prostate's acting up. Oh boy. Now, you reminded me of a part that I,

oh, there's a couple parts too that reinforce the commonly held belief that God, and in this case, it's Jesus, cares about soccer more than anything else. There's a part there's a part where Gerard Deppard do he needs help for something and he just yells and prays prays to God in front of a cross and I guess I don't remember what he need help for I don't remember if it works it is FIFA still here it worked yeah God loves God and there's a part when he never died right he's still alive Gerard Deppard Yeah, I never do the live

Jules just did that No, he came back Jules remade does die because they show his funeral and the coffin that is definitely not big enough to fit Jules I'm assuming he's not dead Yeah, because he turns into like a fucking gelatinous ooze or something Oh, he's on this Senator Kelly and X-Men I should say

They buried to fool people they buried box, a coffin full of rocks, which ironically weighed less than he does. I was gonna say that coffin definitely could have fit Jules Ramey, who is pretty, we talked about this earlier, who was actually pretty skinny in real life. He definitely could not have fit Jura, Jeopardy. So you say these are real coffin? There's also humor, too, wrong, as Seth set flatters just looking at a coffin for a couple seconds. I don't know who that character was. They never introduced that.

They might have without saying that person's name. Who's trying to show the passage of time. Yeah. It was during the wild wild life montage. Yeah. Well, I guess that guy's good. And I'm not saying that I think you're gonna say wild wild west. So I get really excited. We a what? Like a what? Like a what? I just think nothing makes me think of like a solemn funerio procession like wild, wild life. Well, that's what we're gonna play a dance funeral.

Yeah. Yeah, I would appreciate that. Sure. Yeah, but then we're gonna play Kokomo. Oh, no. That's where you have to spend eternity with that middle-aged guy and the younger woman he's trying to convince to come with him to go to the mo. Gross.

Like in Aruba, Jamaica? No. Wait, who I want to take? Where? To Bermuda? I don't know. Bahamas. Hey, come on, pretty mom.

Kilar go, Montigo, is that a piece? Yes. Hey, baby, why don't we go? Down to, I hate that song.? Hey baby, why don't we go down to I hate that song? I Don't know why for some reason that out there was like a year when I was growing up as a kid with that song was impossible to avoid Yeah, cuz you had fucking full house on all time I'm like even

At least I can find solace in full house. You'll never betray me I know I'm a Jesse don't go to the beat voice concert now the whole family's getting up He doesn't even need to go to the concert. They just show up to the house all the time It's only you say don't go to that beef boys Certainly don't go there those guys are fucking crazy It's a was that like a meat-based beach voice cover. I thought there was like an off-brand fat voice. It's like a meatloaf.

It's like a meatloaf, but he's a killer. He's a serial killer. That's meatloaf covering serial killer. Beef boys. You know what? Yep. I was doing on song. Is our beef boys right for you? You know what about this one? I would love to hear Meatloaf. I can tell you that I'll go go go. Okay, sleep, cause my birds on fire. That's how every me below saw guys. I'm gonna sing slow for a little bit, but then I'm gonna sing fast and I'm gonna go like this. That's me loaf. Yeah. No, okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Please, Mr. Love lives in Florida, calling me. So soccer guys. Yeah. So some ladder saves the world. And I had a thing I was going to talk about. And oh, so So there's a part so they're describing that match between the Germans and the Ukrainians and someone says how hard they they play and the guy goes They say it was like God himself lay stuff that day And I wish that they had shown God jumping into the game and just lacing up his boots and just kicking that ball And then he kicks the ball so hard at Knox Hitler's head off boots and just kicking that ball. And then he kicks the ball so hard at Knox Hitler's head off. I don't know. They once the thing done rights, you have to do it yourself. They spent a much time talking about apartheid and stuff. That's like a consistent thing they bring up is to show how

FIFA is so forward thinking and righteous is they make a big point about how Havalanche wouldn't allow. Avalanche. What? I say Avalan how a haven't launched wouldn't allow a lot of lunch would have a lunch wouldn't allow South Africa to be a member of FIFA even as FIFA expand they make a big point about how FIFA expands into african asia under avalanche and set bladders guidance without pointing out that they basically just use that as a tool to keep themselves reelected in perpetuity but you were saying that like they would arrange for right they they would like they would put money into those countries to help develop

the game, but they would make sure that a lot of that money went into the pockets of the presence of the relations. They're also giving. They're also doing honor to them by allowing it by by making all countries equal, giving them all equal vote. They're making putting them on the same foot is like a Germany or something. But they're, cause it's, we don't talk about hands. They're not stupid enough to, chop those off to think that that's not going to better. I feel like there could be a better movie.

And I don't know. Yes, yeah. You know what? Let me just stop right there. Your hypothesis is correct. We don't even need to test it. I would say there are many better movies. It is conceivably possible to have a better movie than this one. A better movie. Destiny turns on the radio. Better movie.

Sure. I mean, it's better. It's better movie. A better movie, honestly. On the name of your better movie, but soccer than this movie. Three-quincey bugs. Ladybugs is a better movie than this movie, and that's a bad movie. A better movie could be made on this topic. I don't know why. If someone would make an in-better movie on this topic, because it's kind of on this topic. I don't know why someone would make an even better movie on this topic

because it's kind of on some movies. The movie was made in the first place. But that was made on this topic that acknowledges that there was a deal with the devil made that actually had some good coming. Like the idea of that this is not all bad, not all good, the fact that they did let in these other countries, but for reasons that benefit themselves,

like in like, the movie is a sing-way to do it. I mean, that would not be the FIFA is the greatest thing ever. And the movie is was financed by FIFA. It was, yeah, I know. Crazy. It was like $29 million or something, which I can tell you would not spend on the soccer scenes apparently, but it's all on the screen.

It's all up there. Well, you look at it. And the series of offices they read. It's an incredibly well polished movie in every part that does not involve what you care about. It's a great shot on a boat where Sam Neill looks like Gary Oldman as that smiley guy from Tinker Tailor Soldier Spine. Smiley.

Yeah, that's the name. That was gonna say... They smiley from the Lolls movie. They point out multiple times that FIFA wouldn't allow South Africa to be a member nation as long as apartheid was the system in place there. And that's like their one thing to point out that FIFA is like super righteous. And they, you know, they're just trying to show the whole time that FIFA is this benevolent Organization that's pulling the world together when it's not not at all

Blanket made out of Comfortable but you wear them because they make your butt look great Same thing with that blood Well, your butt is all scraped up. Yeah, I was leaving on a bed of blood diamonds. Ooh, his butt's so scrapedy. It's like seals faces his butt. That's me. Sorry, I apologize, seal.

Anyway, I forget if it was you or Dan who's saying this, it seems like the movie that they show to new FIFA employees when they start out that like every couple of minutes, one of the actors should have stopped and looked at the camera, giving you a tip about dealing with the customers or you know, what proper office etiquette. Should have been some like bullet points on the screen.

I was all about every no meeting can look like appropriate and normal. And like there's the meeting where set the ladder, and each one. And they're not all taking place in like a mad Max world. Well, yeah, but like they're driving around shooting missiles arrows at each other. I believe there's this meeting where set bladder meets with the guy from Adidas to be like, yeah.

Oh, I know. It's sorry, Adidas. To me with Adidas. Adidas. To say like, you know, Adidas wants to have our soccer ball and our uniforms and everything in the next World Cup. And that's not crazy, having a company paid to have that company's position.

It's crazy it's not having Nintendo do that would be and it would make uniforms. But like, it's a totally McDonald's is like, we want you to wear McNuggets in the next World Cup that does it on our skin. I'm so them together into shirts. I was gonna ask if you meant a McNugget costume or if they actually just took McNuggets.

Oh no. McNugget characters who are screaming and paying for being stitched together, like some kind of weird golem like in that Clyde Barker's short story. Well it's like that when Freddie lifts up his shirt or whatever and there's a lot of screaming souls in there. Then he's shredded.

That's getting rid of it. He's shredded, because he scratched himself with his razor glove and he cut himself. But my point is, I know you man, he's totally, he's got abs. For miles. For days.

Yes, David. Well, I was just gonna say that these meetings are all presented in this covert secret way, but like, first of all, they don't have to be, because they're normal, maybe. They're normal meetings, but also like, if you're trying to present a movie about how on the level in great FIFA is,

why would you set up all these meetings to be at like a roadside gas station where it looks really creepy and sketchy? I feel like a lot of those early meetings, they try and make FIFA seem like an underdog. Like you should be like rooting for them, which is a stupid increase. Well, at the time, no, no.

I can't justify that. I mean, that's the main issue is the movie does not make you care ever if FIFA survives. So Fisher Stevens is distraught in 1930 because he invested all of FIFA's money in the stock market and it's crashed. And he's like, we've lost everything. People can never play soccer again, right, dudes? I had to give the rules to soccer to the bank to pay off the loan.

Now, no one will ever know. And it just shows an evil bank man putting the rules in a vault and spinning the dial so it's locked forever and then filling it with concrete so you can never be opened. Now, soccer will never be open. Now, Sakka will never be played. But at that moment, it's like, there's gonna be no FIFA. And my reaction that was, all right, I mean, whatever your clubs not open anymore, okay?

We didn't share the same reaction to that. Like I just didn't, like they didn't, it couldn't even make me care when they were literally on the verge of bankruptcy. Yeah, but that's cause because that's because the movies terrible The only reason I care was because I worried that Fisher Stevens might hurt himself because he was so he did look like he was about to jump off the bridge They were talking right frail and yeah, yeah Which he if his character dies in the movie he still gets paid right

Like the actor or the character So got a weird clause that's right character dies in a movie. They're just they pretend they can't see her here the actor or the character. So it's got a weird clause that's right. The character does in a movie. They're just they pretend they can't see or hear the actor. All of those law and order corpses never got paid. Yeah, there's it. Yeah, they got tricked into signing it. Steven Segal walks up to the accounts payable window at it for executive decision.

And he's like, is like, my money, please? Is that Steven Segal's character? Is that your decision? I can't, I wish he was here. We have money to give him that Steven Segal's character? Resetion. I wish he was here. We have money to give him much time and then we get together for the game. Spoiler. Hello, yes.

All right. I didn't mean to spoil a movie. No one has watched in 15 years. I, that is one of my favorite movies to watch on cable TV when it is on. I'm not. Yeah. But on first dates.

Yeah, on first dates. Like, I want to show you this movie that the poster made me assume the Kurt Russell's holding a katama The wing of a stil farmer Evil David Sushay and I mean what else do you want my? Okay, I apologize is the best movie ever thank you, Elliot this movie is better than United passion I'm a skill from United passions to zero. I give it off the charts than United Passion. On a scale from United Passion to zero, I give it off the charts. One of my favorite things about executive decision though, since we're on the topic,

is that it was considered this big time project and paramount. I mean big time. Like, not terrible. Not terrible. Like the big dig. I don't know. No, no, no. Like when it was first being made, or when it was in development.

The executive was like, this is a big time project. It was, let's fast-track. It was considered a lot of service executive decision movies. Is that one of our little time projects? Oh, no. Oh, no, but Call of Ham, that is a big time project. Should we build the colossus of Rose or make executive decisions? No, sir.

We can't build both your pyramid tomb and down the library of Alexandria and do executive decision I guess my soul is just disappearing to the winds then you guys are Possible to sit around and talk about stuff Don't bother building a vessel from my car so that I may travel to the next world make executive decision I think sitting with all of you is what you've made to every made of one thing sitting with me is like. He has two folders on his desk and one says light to Mars and the other says executive decision starting to rustle and he's like oh there's I don't know what to tell you I

got to go with this Kurt Russell. Well sorry Mars. The thing I was gonna say about exactly the situation is no longer funny so forget it No, no it's not to be a big time project and Paramount had the rights and they sold it or no like they sold it to 20th century Fox and 20th century Fox in exchange The boringest of it ever. And we just watched it. Nine expansions. It's a skimmy chance. The movie.

Finish the story. The movie? It was gonna be like one of those Paul Harvey stories. Well, afterwards we'll know the rest of the story. The movie that Paramount got in exchange for getting rid of this was Faris Gump. And now you know the movie. Yeah, exactly. And if they hadn't made that, we never could have had Kevin Neillin in first come to

Gump again the movie Cecil be demented yes, I think I think Dan wanted to wrap this up I just want to say the end of the movie All right, fuck all of you. Um, could you, but the end you write that down so I can share it with my children? Oh, no, no, no, and get, call up your publisher now. Tell them you know what your next book is, and then call up somebody. Oh, God. And tell them they need to hear this tale. Just call me from the tail.

I think this whole episode was just set up as vengeance to try and make me pay for irritating you all for so long. Oh, so, uh. You're soccer and you're an executive decision expertise. Yeah, FIFA, the movie, the starring soccer. Okay, we really need to get to United Pass. Oh, we got to get fire it up. Final, I smash cut kids playing soccer. United passions. Oh, we got it. Fire it up.

Smash cut, kids playing soccer. Then FIFA shows up and Tim Roth says, game on boys. The best thing about it. Wait, into the camera. I just have to say is the end of the movie is set bladder dealing with thoughts of corruption and all the European football heads being like, you're going to lose this election in 2002

and Seoul and he's like, I will be okay. And then he wins the election, rebuking all the corruption that he has faced when like- Through no effort on himself. Exactly. And considering that in real life, it is very clear, like he's suspended from being present right now.

We all know he's incredibly corrupt. It just rang incredibly hollow and I found that in joy. Even if it didn't ring hollow, it's just he does nothing to defend himself. So there's no reason why we should be like, oh great, he isn't corrupt, I guess. Well, but the music gets really loud. He doesn't even burn it. He does this triumphant music. Yeah. The triumph of the set. There's like four different scenes in this movie with triumphant music out of nowhere. And there are all announcements. Not even at soccer matches.

There are announcements of where things are gonna be held. Again, I was winning in a like- I cannot say this enough that there is almost no soccer in this movie about soccer. Do you like soccer? Don't watch this movie. Yeah. Well, I think-

You like soccer movies. I would think Killer Goal's the, what's your favorite soccer movie? United passions? Really? I just think that maybe their hope was that because a lot of people that don't like soccer, the knock on it, they say is that it's boring.

Yes. I think that FIFA's hope was that by watching this movie, those people who thought soccer was boring would be like, oh, can't we at least just watch soccer now? Does that would be more interesting than watching this movie? Yeah. Final judgments. Final. Was this a good, great movie, best movie ever, Does that would be that would be more interesting than watching this? Yeah final judgments Final was this a good great movie best movie ever or burn all the other movies

Or three soccer balls. Hooray. It's a good bit. Was this movie on In one Good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie you kind of like I'm gonna start I'm gonna say For an hour I Thought this was a good bad movie because it was almost ashes and Just like yeah like old time you like it's enjoyable silly at that point the best like the most important thing We can do for society is to create a governing body so that all the nations can play this footage ball with one another.

And then, and we can get paid dudes. But then after that it just got boring. So, I don't know. If you, if, yeah. Why don't you check out an hour of it if you can see it for free and then turn it off and do something else? That's my recommendation. I'm gonna say don't watch this movie You want to leave something on on the TV while you go to the bathroom for an hour and a half And then just what yeah, I guess two hours. I don't know do you say bathroom for two hours?

Doing you know, I'm bigger problem than what movie should I watch. I think it's goddamn it. I'm afraid of the link in the movie. Unless you just don't want to see the movies, you're just staying in the bathroom till it's over. I'm still in the door. You see Tim Roblin in the screen, and then something's up the door again. There is a monster at the end of this book,

and its name is Grover. Spoiler alert. I would not even recommend leaving the movie on while you're out in case someone has bugged your apartment and you don't want to force them to have to sit through it. I would say that I enjoyed watching it with you guys and there is a bit of a shot in Florida that I enjoyed knowing that this movie costs like thirty million dollars and I think it grossed like three hundred in the United States I think I mean not counting movies that made zero money that were at least it seems to be on record what was keeping these writers as the least money making the United States history. And that was adjusted. That was probably just paid for by people to go

go into the movie theater and go BM or. I think there's. I got to be. I got my ticket to you. Your bathroom. Fine. I'll take one ticket to whatever. I got spend two hours in the bathroom. I was well being a movie theater.

Well, there was a there. I think there was a theater. I need a so hot out. You know, the movie theaters are conditions. And I can just murder myself in there was a theater. I need a it's so hot out. You know the movie theaters air Conditions and I can just murder myself and the theater somehow There was there was a theater I think on the Wikipedia page it says there was a theater in Phoenix that literally sold one ticket to one of It's showing so that's probably a batten anyway I'm I'm screening of spectra. I was in the other day had two tickets sold so really yeah, well,, it was also like a 105 PM screen.

Yeah, like a month after it came out. It's been out for a while. I, anyway, I had fun watching it with you guys because we were all similarly frustrated by it. But, yeah, but it's dog shit. It's a bad, bad movie. I would not watch it again. Yeah, I would not, I definitely would not recommend

watching it without the annotations. You said watching it. I would watch it at all. It's too sad. You need the David Kahnel and annotations or else you're not gonna be able to follow a lot of it too. I knew everything that was happening in it and I had trouble following it.

So that shows you how terrible it is. Sopper. Woohoo. Hey, you like t-shirts, right? How about a mug? Are your walls looking a little bare? Visit maxfunstore.com and cover all of these bases and more. We just added some amazing new shirts and posters, so visit today and outfit your home and torso with the freshest Max Fun merch. Maxfunstore.com

Hey, it's Dan here. with the freshest Max Fun Merch. MaxFunStore.com. Hey, it's Dan here. Thanks to all you crazy people, we sold out our Bellhouse live show in Brooklyn on Friday, January the 15th, within five days. And so, due to popular demand, we have added a second show on Saturday, January 16th, the very next day, doors open at 6 p.m.

show at 6.30 p.m. tickets $12 at the Bell House in beautiful Gawanna's Brooklyn. You may ask us, will we be watching the same movie or will there be a different movie? There will be a different movie? There will be a different movie, although all of our comedy routines, except for Stuart's, who is an overtiever, will be the same before the show. So, two different shows, which means I assume that there will be some out there who will like to come to both shows. That's fine, we encourage it, please, if you're crazy enough to want to come to both shows do so. However, if you have a ticket for the first show, maybe hold off for a day or two and give someone who is not so lucky the first time around a chance to get a ticket.

We would like to provide the opportunity for the widest variety of people to see the shows. So thanks to Buy T tickets for the show, we'll be up on our website, flopphousepodcast.com, or on the Bellhouse website, that's www.thebellhouseNewYork, that's just in Y, sorry, thebellhouseinY.com, and we hope to see you there in January. Thanks. But now we should move on. Now we're going to... The letters from listeners. This will be fun.

Hey guys. I had a... I had a bit... I had a bit... It doesn't sound fun. Yeah, usually things that when they're introduced that way end up not being fun. I had a busy day at work today and so I didn't get to choose letters. Oh boy.

Oh boy. The old random mail back home. So you're saying you usually just spend your time at work looking at letters for your body? I do. I do. I do. I do.

I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I didn't have time to screen things. So we're going to play a little game called, I'm going to read the first four letters that come up in the Flophouse.

Hey, everybody. It's America's favorite game. The game called, I'm going to read the first four letters in the Flophouse folder. It's called letter roulette. Did you send a letter to Dan in the last 10 minutes? Because it's you did. It's you did. If you did, we'll be reading it now. It's America's favorite game. Not soccer. Alright, so this is America doesn't like that.

Real quick, I want to jump here and give thanks to America does like soccer. I want to make that clear. Two, the end of us cut cutters and Rortis and all the other Houston, Houston floppers out there. Andrew, thanks for sending me the, the cassette mixtape for the horror movie marathon you guys showed. The heavy metal horror movie marathon. You guys showed down the Alamo draft house. Thanks for the mixtape dog.

All right. Okay, Dan, you done with whatever bullshit. Wow. Way to make a mixed tape dog. All right, wait a minute, you don't have whatever bullshit. Wow, wait a minute. I was listening. Yeah, wait a minute, you're listening to this feel like shit. A bit, and now you're just, you know. OK, and I also want to give thanks to Ashley Shannon, Clopus listener, Ashley Shannon, who was kind enough to not

only print off a copy of the contest winners' entry, but also put it in a lovely frame that matches the decor of my bar that will open someday. Hopefully, otherwise, I will totally murder myself. I do do so. So Ashley Shannon, thank you so much, it looks beautiful. Expect to see tons of pictures of it on the internet.

All right. So I just want to jump in here and give a thanks to all of our brave men and women serving in America's fighting forces. That's really brave for you to say, Elliot. You know, I just, I feel like they don't go notice enough. So this first letter is from... I would like to thank.

No, it's not. No, it's not. Even David, give me a drop of a deal. I'm glad you did. You do it. Go through it. Do a whole bit. It's a safe space.

All right. Except for Dan. I would whole bit. It is a safe space. All right. Um, except for Dan. I would, I would like to thank the New York Mets, who I know you didn't go all the way this year, which Elliott reminds me about all the time. Oh, I was about to write. I'm about to thank the Kansas City Royal who lie in their hearts out and just take an advantage of every error made by that other team.

I don't remember. They were like, they were like three. No, you don't know what you were talking about. Error the shit at it. Oh, Dan Murphy, let's one fucking ball go under his glove. All right, I'm losing everybody. Hey, poor catcher son, what's your name? Murphy.

Anyway, I tell people all you can hope. All you can hope is that a team you care about gives you a reason to care and this year they did. And next year. My only hope is that you find one next to love and who loves you and you cling tight to them. Is cling tight. I'm talking about realistic.

He's cling wrap. Nobody's nobody's going to love me. Dan. Okay. So there's been the club broadcast. I've been Dan. Boy. I've been really a king.

It's something strong. I can't put my finger on it. Dan, who do you have to thank? Right. I have to think this first letter writer. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Dear Dan.

He's from Irvin last name with L. What Welsh? Wait, Magic Johnson? Yeah, that's right. Amazing. Slogging through the back catalogs, most, most of my girlfriend's displeasure. Uh, mostly because you find Ellie's voice annoying. Hey, I heard a great bit of wisdom.

I'm on common with my family. You're fully curated letter selection. Oh, I know. Another thing I don't like about Elliot. I heard a great bit of wisdom on the Atlas Shrugged episode. Elliot said to paraphrase, people always warn you about a slippery slope.

But you know what a slippery slope is? A water slide and it is great. I thought that shit brilliant. I ran to my girlfriend to share and after I told her what Elliot said, she replied, I hate him. Oh. Stuart is still my favorite.

That's from Irvin last name I don't talk as much. Well, I guess discuss. I don't know what to do. It seems not like that. Thanks, I think that's a great letter. Yeah, that was a fantastic letter. Well, my family likes me mostly except my brother. No, I mean, I like you.

So growing up was Elliot's voice always annoying? Oh, yeah, very much. Always, but he didn't like use it as much. Now you guys give him way too much free reign. That's, no, that's, I mean, I was not a confident child in many ways, and I was not confident at a lesson. It really took getting into college and realizing that it was fun to be irritating to get me to talk as much as you also started that

creatine program where you got super great yeah I was really into bodybuilding the time noon in of the area really got really into bodybuilding and then I just stopped I wasn't interested when we kids, you changed your entire wardrobe to Zubaz and those big dog seat shirts. Yeah. I was all into whatever branded t-shirts I could wear life's of beach. Was those ones lower? It was like bad boys club is what you're thinking. What were the ones about like the co-ed naked volleyball? No, like the heat wind to the most toys, winds or something like that. I mean that sounds like a t-ed naked volleyball? No, like the heat wins in the most toys, wins or something like that. I mean, that sounds like a t-shirt.

It was there was one where it would be like a... I heard you though, Dan. It would be like... It would be like... It would be like a... It would be like a... It would be like a... Yeah, it would be like an enormous silhouette of a basketball player who's like coming

at ya. Is that like a space jam thing? No, it was not a space jam. When I was in Japan this summer, they had space jam t-shirts for sale in their department store. I think. I'm not going to want more of them and you're about to give them to us.

I thought about it. I thought about it. I think the shrooms shirts that were worn by school girls. Probably. There's many machines. I was going to say when we were kids though, I was probably the more irritating one.

No. I know it's hard to believe. You get out of here. I know. I know. So, Dan, what's the second random letter that's gonna be about insulting me? Okay, it's title Stuart gets the shaft Sounds like a weird start. I'm writing to express my displeasure with a train I've noticed over the last several months when listeners write into the show the They direct your questions regarding cinema, history, writing, and philosophy to Dan and Elliot, where a Stewart gets questions along the lines of,

if you were going to fuck a sandwich, which wouldn't be. Wait, did you get asked that? It's pulled pork every time. I like to turn the tables here and throw a thoughtful question at my favorite peach. What is the metaphysics of this sandwich that you're having sex with? You can pause it real quick so I can figure this out. Stuart, there's a

bunch of movies out there that upon first release we're given negative reviews but received much more positive reviews in later years. Like United Passion. Walter Hills The Warriors is one that comes to mind. Any movies you think got a bad rap that people will eventually come around to love in the future? Dan and Elliott. If you were gonna fuck a sandwich, which one wouldn't it be? Toon of Vish. Thanks for years of laughter. Zach.

Yeah, I'm gonna go eggs out of it, but still. I think the most obvious one, at least to me, would be John Carter of recent years. Not that John Carter is the greatest movie, but it was really maligned by critics who saw the terrible box office results and started just shitting on it. And even before it came out, they wanted to take down this expensive movie. Yeah, exactly. And I think, I mean, I'm not going to say it's the best movie in the world. Don't edit that and change that, Elliot. But I mean, I think for a big space adventure,

I think it's pretty great. And it's got big rig in outer space. Sure, yeah. Dan, maybe the two of us could double team like a hoagie. Like a party, so. Let's not talk. I'm not doing anything. You guys could high five each other wall-tapping.

Exactly. And we're not being demeaning, because it's the same way. And the fun part is that you guys like look into each other's eyes. You can maybe talk. Yeah, we can talk about what's going on in life. Unless we're watching the movie Dumbledore team. I don't want to talk about it. Dumbledore team is a Dumbledore Dumbledore. Yeah, that's right. He meant Dennis Robman. We're a great team. Dumbledore.

Yeah. I'm just really glad that sandwich question wasn't asked of me. I mean, Dumbledore is gay. No, that's not saying. The gay Dumbledore, Dumbledore. Dumbledore's ghost fishing. Thank you. So the magic is that he's standing on his knees. I made the lower half of my legs disappear through the power of shoes on these through the power of kneeling. I've been a whole character. It was I watched those commercials all the time when I was a kid and it wasn't until I went I was on a USO tour of Afghanistan and we were in a USO like recreation facility for soldiers

and had like 30 minutes to kill and we did this huge selection of videos and one of them was door for those fishing and we watched some of it and I was the only time I'd ever really seen door for was like this is terrible. This is not what I was led to believe for all those commercials. The nonstop polarity on display in those commercials. I expected better of Tim Connelly. Just like just like United Passions. Yeah, we're so commercial. Oh, that's why you don't you don't read as many soccer blogs as I do I guess Dan read us another letter won't you? This back on the table. Yeah, so next to this

Goliath from game that we're playing Is from Rebecca last name withheld the movie DeMourne it's titled the first Mrs. DeWinter title what the fuck This is podcast Wow stars Mark Harman in summer school Cool. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Uh, she writes, this is not a letter. This is an email.

Those goddamn songs have been a lie. And that's it. Oh, what? I mean, I was singing about this letter. Speak to the, speak to the, yep, it holds up a real hand. You guys do get actual snail mail stuff sometimes though. Yeah, we read one last time.

Yeah, I just read some snail mails I though. Yeah, we read one last year. I just read some snail mails I got mail from a snail. Let no one say the postal service isn't still amazing here the flop house Can you please tell people to stop eating and putting me putting salt on me? Just because I'm a male into female doesn't mean I can have sex with myself Love a snail. How many escalator period snail the a stands for archival how much escargo do you think uh Zerad Dipper do eight before this movie was made before the movie like there was whole life no no I like in preparation I know that's it preparation

yes like he was studying yeah he's you know what the world needs is a fat jewels remain it's even though that's not a real thing to play a a few folks executive, I must think like a few seconds. Try some in-s eating delicious food all the time. Who wouldn't believe a man who's obsessed with soccer would be enormous and probably unable to play the game? I mean, the... I need to be slow and hard to not be slimy.

I will have to eat snails to gain the power of this nails. I will create a shell out of human fat. Oh my body. And Kerry is with me like a house. I'll be able to retract into it at hard or stressful times in my life. Gerard, I don't think you understand how human bodies work. He just needs to eat enough so it looks like he is retracting into the shell. Oh, now come now. He hasn't done it yet. He's a normal man. He just has to eat enough so it looks like he is retracting into the show. Oh, now come now.

He hasn't done it yet. He's a normal man. He just has large appetites. He's not a freak of nature. He's just a large man. What you're saying is bogus. He's the movie bogus. I never do.

Look, my father, the hero, would not stand for this. I'll have to give you a green card for this foul or something. Red card. It's way worse. Oh, God. It's a close no file. A red card means stop doing what you're doing. Green card says go to jail.

I'm sorry, I even opened the door. To the last Metro. I say, serenot to you, sir, French movies that I don't remember right now. This last letter the evening. I thought that was the last letter. It's from Riley last name withheld. And she writes, I literally just woke up from a dream whereupon I was sitting with light.

What? You just go on. I didn't think we'd start a little email. I won't call letters anymore. Sorry. I literally just woke up from a dream where upon I was sitting with my three favorite peaches. Stuart turns on a film at a beginning of the green field of blue sky.

What is this? I ask a small baby and a wagon pulls on screen. I don't remember what he said. I look up the film. Elliott. Oh, just wait. You'll see. And plot twist. The film is the only of the three recommendations of power I've not seen. Head of the family.

I don't know if Head of the Family starts this way, but I guess my subconscious thinks it does. What's weirder is I have my first flop house dream off the back of three days of journalism and Syrian refugee camps on the island of Coast Screeze. All my best, Riley. So, well, stuff Jeff, pretty sure head of the family begins with a shot of a model house, like a model house or a house that is a model. Like a house that's a model. A house where models live, like in the Hit Reality Show model house or a house that is a model. Like a house that's a model.

A house where models live. Like in the Hit Reality Show model house. Yeah, what else it says? Yeah. It's a house that's filled with tiny models. Models of, I don't know, hobbits, boba fets. Like many figs. Yeah, many figs.

A couple of Lego dudes, a tank, a fig that's not big enough to put in a newton. Mm-hmm. That's right, at the quality control for fake newton. So this is not a newton fig. Away with you and they throw it into the newton. You sound like you're in FIFA or think for the FIGFORCATION. Please.

Come on. This is a serious organization. Sorry. So Dan, Dan, no one is the federal? Is FIG not for FIGFOR? It's FIGFOR the federal investigative general rights for. Well, federal investigative.

Yep, general. The big football club. Fuck assembly. Fuck. All right. I don't know what it does. I don't know, but I like this. That's it.

So Dan, what was the last time you had a dream where we were all in it? Including me. It's ever happened, honestly. We're all in the same place. I had dreams about you guys all the time. Really? We're hanging out. Just being really good friends. Have you ever had any dreams that just or include me? Or nightmares? Whatever you want to call it. I don't know. Are you asking me? Both of you. Anybody. I'm sure I've been in dreams of aliens. Oh, see you.

Maybe. I don't really remember many dreams that involved. I've been your brother for three decades. They've had to have been one somewhere. Maybe. I probably forgot. I remember very well the dream I had. Did you have a dream where Dan died?

That was a terrible dream. Did you ever have a dream where you guys are armed? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What? Are you just trying to get us to arm wrestle right now? I mean, there's only way to why I want to find out if ever have a dream? How were you guys in arms? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What? Are you just trying to get us to arm wrestle right now? Yes. I mean, there's only way to why I want to find out if this is

dream or not. Whoa. Just watch out. I might turn my hat around to go over the top. I've only, there was an arm wrestling committee that would decide if that's a real thing. What was? What was?

We will be. We will be. We need a bunch of people with generic European accents to explain to us how to do this. Slap these old-timey moustaches on. We're going to form this organization, whether the English, like it or not. English, like, yeah, whatever. Have your arm wrestling. I don't So guys this is the part of the podcast where we

Do we do recommendations now? That's right, Stu. This is the part of the podcast where we If it's up to us, we've got to take control Go supposed to yes So that goes postage to. Yes. So why? Why is man what said that? His name was Robert Brown. His name was Ghost Postage 2. So this is where we were going to say. As a wise man once said they do what they want to do,

play what they want to play, live how they want to live. That man's name, Adams family. Camer. The MC stands for Adams family. He threw people off the scent of his real name by using fake letters. Wow. Yeah, what? The MC said his real initials were AF hammer, Adam's family hammer, but he was like I don't want

People to learn my real name because then they'll have power over me because I'm a demon so I'll tell people my name is MC hammer And I'll be getting a picture of MC Gainie. He's like We look similar. Yeah, they look pretty similar Post-Revice Gainie They look pretty similar. Uh, so wait, we're doing right for the nation. Because when he had a poster of emcee gaining up on this wall. That's right. From time to time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, to pull those tables up, put that up there next to Stacey Keach.

I'm sorry, Tiger Beans series of Dylan. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I do that. I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do that.

I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do that. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Any Paul Servino, James D'Alvini? You're gonna have so many portly middle-aged actors,

like, ready on recall. And let's just sort of think about a lot. Wow. Woo. So, hey. Hold on, recommendations. This is where we recommend movies that you should watch instead of the movie

that we wasted our time with. Thanks for considering time with me away, Stan. That's really cool. Oh, boy. Man, man. Okay. This is gonna make Thanksgiving awkward if it hadn't already happened and you're from different families, but he still came dear Thanksgiving He stopped by afterwards. Yeah, just for a pink behind the curtain and I'll hair of the turkey. Oh Tricky was Wow, yeah, I was gonna say the turkey was pretty good, but I didn't know it had hair in it. It was covered in hair

That's disgusting. Thanks, Edel. So another one for the record books Not that yeah, we've done our last Can someone do recommendation? Okay, so I'm gonna recommend a movie that you should watch. Hey guys. Do you like soccer? Well, why don't you pull up a movie called Shaolin Soccer, which is as different from the movie we just watched as any possible movie you'll ever watch. Shaolin Soccer is a, I guess, is it Chinese, I guess? I think it's Chinese. It's directed, written and directed in starring Steven Chao, who is a, I guess, a loony tunes of a performer.

It is a martial arts movie that is filled with a ton of special effects, where a young man joins a soccer team made up of all Kung Fu masters, and they play against the evil team who use drugs to make them super naturally good at soccer. Yeah, it's a super crazy-ass movie. You should totally watch it. It's fast-paced.

It's funny. It's filled with funny, traditional Chinese nicknames where they'll call the heavy-set guy FATSO and things like that, at least in the subtitle version I want. There's a lot of dancing. I totally recommend it. Charlene soccer. It's a fun movie.

You don't have to like soccer to watch it. No, Charlene's. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what What happens in it does not really resemble soccer very closely. It's closer to soccer than this movie was. I will give you that. And then someone kicks a ball. Yeah, and that there is somebody kicking a ball. I mean, Kung Fu, huh? Somebody like Sully. I think it's also hard.

People's like close rip off. So I think it's pretty egg. That's what it's soccer for a lot of yikes. I'm not playing zapped soccer and that used to happen a lot. I want to happen a lot. I want to recommend a movie. It. Just like that's the concept they are like I want to recommend a movie.

I really would like to. So moving on. I'm contractually obligated to recommend a trailer for a TV show. I watched a movie that I got. One of the many awards screeners I sat down and watched Steve Jobs. I still haven't watched that. I'll say this about the movie. I think that it's hampered by high expectations. The last time Aaron Sorkin wrote a movie about a tech wizard, it was the social network and it was horrific and this is not that movie.

This is, and there was, I feel like there's a lot of expectations about this movie. Like, it's like- Danny Boyle directing it right? Yeah, he's a great director, I think, to people thought- Danny Boyle. Good stuff. The Oscars, the Oscars are calling. Oh, that's what I, that's what I was going to say.

I feel like they thought that this was going to be a big Oscar contender and then it sunk like a stone in real years. For the Amazon. If you tie a stone to her. Is she in this movie? No, but she'll sink if you make her. She's sure. She sank like a Chris Rock. So she's not a big.

Yeah. Like a regular avalanche. What was that guy's name? Avalanche. Bruce Valanche. Yeah, Bruce Valanche, that's who it was. He was the Bruce Valanche, the third president of FIFA. I guess seventh, sorry. It's time to write all those Academy Gwips.

But it's a fun movie. I'll say this, it's a movie that really feels like a play, which is no surprise since Sorkin started out as a playwright, but it's structured like a play. It's basically Steve Jobs having conversations with the same sort of six figures that are important to his life. Many things. Literally split into three acts and each of the acts is for a big product launch in his career and he has conversations with the same six people at different times in his career and structurally that's kind of like fun to watch. It really is like watching a glossy Broadway play that's well turned but not very deep. So if you want to watch sort of an entertaining thing that's a little like a chamberpiece, let's call it, I enjoy Steve Jobs.

Yeah, the structure sounded interesting to me, not interesting enough to get me to the old movie theater. I mean, I would like to watch it. It's a weird, I'm going to, it's a weird way where I am more interested in the structure than the subject matter. Yeah. Like I don't find Steve Jobs to be that particularly interesting a person. I just want to see if we can find out once and for all of Michael fast bender is a better actor than Ashton Kutcher. That's a good question. Yeah, why don't you have to put your did make his own version of shame, but there's a little bit. And then there's that season of Two and a Half Men where Michael Fosspinder was starring in it. It was a very dark season.

It really was. It was a very dark season. It was that season of that 70s show where as your good-just character wore a giant paper mouset head the whole time. It was a weird. It wasn't Android. Yeah. You know, you got to a fish tank.

It would be really dangerous too. That's my ring. Dave looked at me like, is that it? Well, it was great, but it was very enjoyable. Dave, this is your first time on the show. This is time for you to recommend a movie. I actually like, oh man. You make the call.

Well, I was, I was like, I'm fucking moneyball because I've already, I'm not gonna recommend moneyball. I was, I was looking at, moneyball to, Mo money mobile. I was looking at a, a, a Dan Kies.

I can recommend Mo money either because I've recommend that like I was like a day because he looked at me like a treasure like David's your turn But I wasn't sure if I dashed the leaders because he stays the in this one. I wasn't really supposed to go first or what you go Okay, I actually I have I have two movies because everybody at a clue including including these co-hosts Everybody's expecting me to recommend something sports related. So I'll give you that So the sports movie both of aprons that say Kaelens do it twice Anyway, the sportsman will recommend is a while back. I watched a Netflix documentary called The Battered Bastards of baseball, which is about a minor league team.

It's about a minor league baseball team. It's about a minor league baseball team called The Portland Mavericks that played in the 1970s. That was owned by Kurt Russell's dad. Kurt Russell played for them for a few years, I think, and it also had a couple of like major league castoffs. Like Jim Bowton was on the team. He's, he wrote ball four and he also invented big league two.

If that's the sort of thing you're into. You were, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, please. It's pretty it's pretty fun documentary because it's a bunch of crazy characters It's a back of use It's got a bunch of well, that's not why he invented it It's he invented it to make money and to give baseball players something to chew that wasn't tobacco Anyway, it's a fun. I mean, there's no reason they couldn't just chew chewing gum It's a fun documentary, but it also kind of shows how hypocritical major league baseball is

to a certain degree it's pretty good uh... that wasn't what i was gonna recommend but then everybody when i came here was like what sports movie do you have to recommend so that's that that's that that's it's a bad impression of us uh... the movie i was going to recommend is Is last week last week I I watched beasts of no nation Which is not like fun to watch at all. It's really disturbing So don't like watch before you go to bed or something or if you want to have a good time But it's pretty good and you want to have a good time

Get up first thing. Yeah, first thing you do. Watch this movie about child soldiers in the Civil War. Some time between finishing the movie and going to bed. Yeah, but it makes them eggs. Yeah. Let me show you that. It's pretty good. Idris Elba is really great in it.

You should watch it. It's on Netflix. Go do that. Prometheus is Idris Elba. Yeah. That's the best known for. Rumored Poland is Shane from the Dark Towerheus is Eldress Elba. Yeah. That's a fish known for. Rumored Roland DeShane from the Dark Tower series. It's Rice Elba. Wasn't he? Yeah, no, that is a super

topical. I thought his biggest role was in a assess is this Elba? Hindall from Thorke. No, what was that movie with the giant robots that Pacific Rim? Yeah, that's his biggest packery. Yeah. Packery. That's what Pacific Rim. Yeah, that's as big as the... Packery? Yeah. Packery. That's what all the kids call it. That's the fan's thought. Yeah.

I remember as a peckfra, the playing association for Pacific Rim. I'll recommend my movies were going long. So, Ellie's gonna have to go super fast. I'm gonna recommend two movies that are about white people going to countries where non-white people live and doing stuff that's not so great to them.

One's a new movie, one's an old movie. The new movie is... Man, it would be king. That is a great movie. That's not... I think I already read it. Yeah, the new movie is, Sicario, which is directed by that French director

who did prisoners, which I didn't love, but it looks great. Did you like anime? I haven't seen it. It's great. Did you like anime? I haven't seen it. That's great. But Sikario is in one sense, it's about the drug war that the US is waging against Mexican gangs, but it is a very unrealistic movie that is

dozed with a thick layer of realism. And so it actually is a really intense, intense movie. And there's some scenes in it that are just amazing for how intense and how hard they hit you. But then when you're done watching it, you're like, wait a minute, I don't know if that's really how the drug war operates.

And Benicio del Toro plays one of these kind of silent, mysterious assassin types in it. And he's really good at it. He's pretty great. It's a great looking movie. There's part, there are, it's rare that I appreciate landscape shooting in a movie because it's pretty easy to take a camera and point it

at a beautiful landscape. But they've managed to take some of the most kind of bleak landscapes on the North American continent and really make them look interesting and beautiful. So, Sicario, if you want a grim and intense drug-worth riller. If you're looking for something that's slightly lighter, there's a recently watched a bow-jest, the 1939 version that story, which is a William Wilman movie with Gary Cooper and Ray Meland and Robert Preston.

And it's the classic tale of three high society English men who just check my email because this is a movie from the 30s. They all have. I like that. You made a point to point out that it was the 1939 version. Yeah, there's more than one version of the movie. I'm not recommending those versions. I haven't seen them. Okay. I'm recommending the 1939 one, uh, where it's about three brothers. One of them has stolen a big gem, but and they all leave to join the French, they all leave to join the French foreign Legion as a way of keeping their honor. And they end up under the command of Brian Donlevy as this very sadistic commander of this foreign Legion regiment. And he is amazingly horrifying creepy in it. There's some great action scenes with shootouts with the

Muslim nomadic tribes that are going through the area and fighting the French and it's just a really good like old-fashioned adventure type movie as long as you don't think about the fact that these guys are basically just volunteering to be a part of a colonial force that really doesn't have much reason to be there. But a bow just, if you want more of an old fashioned take on those things, Sekario, if we want a new fashion take on them. Okay. Wow. That was two, four, six movies recommended. Two of them coming from each of the Kaelin brothers.

We got your homework for next. Yeah. Christmas. Chris, I don't fucking remember. When did we put this movie at this bucket? That's what we had. I was supposed to be making a full-time hell. No, it's Jesus.

The episode is the link to the film. Pretty low production costs. Every episode you guys have put out in the last leg, six months has been an hour now. And we all wrapped up talking about stupid garbage, radio zorks and whatnot. Now that Ellie is not complaining about his day job all the time, we got room to stretch.

It's just stretch it out. Stretch it out. Instead of having to rush home to go to sleep, he rushes home to sleep on a giant mountain of cocaine. You clearly know my brother really well. He's a crazy party animal now. He is a wild partyer. He has always loved cocaine.

Yeah, always. You're, you're, your eyes don't match your belly. I just remember. I don't know what that even means. I'm like the idea that your world is you're swallowing all this. How are you supposed to eat it? That is like a scene from an 80s movie with like a Japanese character who keeps

mistranslating American phrases. And some say my eyes are better than my stomach. He goes, oh, my eyes don't match my belly. I just like the idea. It's raining squirrels and bears out there. I just like the idea of Elliott as a huge coke Fiend which is amazing if you like yeah like Elliott why you come over pastry dissolves Elliott Why don't you watch this buster Keaton move with me. He's like no no no fuck that guy. I got to do more cocaine I can do okay

energy of cooking. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of jazz. It's just like a- I'm nervous that if Ali started taking too many, too many uppers, he'd become the micr machine man- Pitchman.

Yeah, just talking about micr machine. Yeah, you know, Ali's obsession with class cars, but small versions. Only when they're tiny. I don't want wanna drive them. I wanna hold them in the palm of my hand. Anywhere as a jumpsuit everywhere he goes. And a cap. Can't get this mustache over.

I mean, yeah. Well, you would've fit in in the movie though if you had a goofy mustache. I wait, there is a Micro Machines movie and I'm just finding it over. No, no, no. United Passions. Yeah, they said.

If you had the Micro Machines guys mustache. The only thing that steals the Micro Machines guy will need to fast talk. They would have made that movie way quicker No, but he steals that you talk slow now. You talk super slow. That's why the move With an intermission of course the overtures performed dancing candy and oh no Glend dancing candy and I don't know. Glend dancing. There's a 10 minute over sure that Glend dancing does.

Okay, well this is just not it's now. Okay, so time to wrap it up. For the floppy spot cast. Thanks for joining us. You ran out of steam there. I threw up the whole rhythm of the thing. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stewart Wellington I've been David last name withheld and I'm Elliott Kalan David's brother hooray for brothers and soccer

You guys can't keep making jokes while I have beer in my mouth. Thanks for calling those jokes. Really this just sounds. You can clap. Classic fluff has bit. Make a mouth sound. I would hang myself. I would say all the time. With three of you. I thought you would have your danger.

You let me have two beers for free. That's pretty good. I mean, this one would say that's the least to get. Oh, this should provide. Ladies drink. I mean, I'll just say. I brought the beers. You don't deserve it. I'm not reminding you to bring beers. I brought the beer so you don't This is a dessert. We have some free beers from stew. I might need a drink I guess yeah, I guess you get it. Yeah, I guess you get half I have credit

You got the assist Nice nice sports terms. Thanks model tough Maximum fun dot org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported the three of you into a cave of a big red dragon and is standing over a horde of precious golden rubies. And he says, what do you do, adventurers? I'm a dragon man. I cast fire on him.

It's very good. I addressed the red dragon to say, us, we're the hosts of the Adventure Zone, a podcast about family playing Dungeons and Dragons. Very good synergy. Commit to the bit. I, I, I roll to charm new listeners. It is very effective.

Against all odds. Everybody wear the macros. We host the Adventure Generals podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons together. It's a comedy podcast. We don't take the rules too seriously because there's a lot of them and we did not take the time to learn them.

Maybe listen to us. We come out every other Thursday on the Maximum Fun Network. You can find us on iTunes or on Maximum Fund.org. I think this promo is a critical hit.