The Flop House - Ep. #199 - Jem and the Holograms

Episode Date: March 5, 2016

Don't worry -- we took your boring story about a magical rock-star-making computer and turned it into a thrilling story about YouTube. We talk Jem and the Holograms. Meanwhile, Elliott has a surprisingly deep knowledge of failed Internet concerns, Stuart reveals the hidden bonds between Seal and Salman Rushdie, and Dan is totally blazed. Movies recommended in this episode: Slow WestMiller's CrossingCria Cuervos

On this episode we discuss Jim and the holograms. Dan, I noticed you went out of your way not to say Jim and the holograms or your accent would normally do or jam in the holograms Which sounds delicious, but that meant I house, I'm Dan McCoy. Greetings and salutations, Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. All right. I'm Elliot Kaylen. I don't know why Stuart was doing that weird voice. There was probably out his new nerd. For a second, I let you wear a garth from Wayne's World. Yeah, if you saw his face, look. He's definitely doing one of those Garth tight lip bowls. This is a comedy show guys. I wanted to add another character

to the cornucopia personalities that come spilling forth with people. The Rogues Gallery, that is the Flaw House. So he started to add copyrighted and trademarked character, Garth Algar. Garth Algar. I think that's his last name. No, it is.

Make them sound like a science fiction author. Yeah. Or anyone else who has a name. Yeah, good news. He's got you there. Other people have names, Dan. Not just science fiction authors. All those authors of literary fiction were like,

I wish people could know who wrote my book, but I don't have a name. I apologize, but- It just as literary drone for seven. I apologize if I cough a lot during this episode I'm getting over a cold. And you're totally blazed. Yeah that's right. 420 dude. Did that lead already?

That's right. We're recording this at 420 in the AM. I have to be at work in a couple hours. I don't know why it shows this time. Seems like a bad idea all around. And I got stone for it. Dumbly bad. So if you didn't want to sleep before,

you certainly do that. Oh boy. You're not in wait. So when you get totally, you know, totally high, you don't want to just work and do stuff like Snoop Dogg. Taking a lot of gravity-bong rips and just the secret of his productivity.

Yeah, yeah, he's like, pop-up, I was spinning. Pro-dog-tivity. Perfect. Now, the real problem is that you're so high that your hand is trapped in a bag of Doritos. If you just let go of all those Doritos, you'll be able to pull your hand out of there. But you refuse to let go of them. Like. I can even get those sweet Doritos.

No, you're hitting me. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. They're gonna taste so good once I get them out there. Where are they like the spicy sweet chili flavor? Why are they sweet Doritos? It's just Doritos.

The new Doritos that just have sugar all over them. They're called kettle Doritos. Okay, they're kettle Doritos. Explain there is this chips, Nack-to-me-Dank. Ships, Nack. They can buy this weight in the savory. Okay, I have like kettle corn.

Yeah, I'm not like kettle chips, which would make way more scouts. See, I forgot that there was a thing called kettle chips. Is the missing piece of that puzzle? Yeah, that was... You solved it. Okay, I guess I'll be seeing you in prison. Another episode over from Stuart Willington's snack detective.

One more question. Were those nachos cheesier? All that powdered sugar on your hands is from a miniature doughnut. You've been taking real doughnuts and shrieking them. I haven't chew. I've a detective. I have a snack convention to get to.

Oh, that makes sense. That makes sense. I hear it's not easy being cheesy. That's fine. It's not, it's not powdered sugar on my hands. It's cocaine. I swear. Oh, that feels so weird in my nose.

That makes sense. You're a drug addict. That makes sense. makes sense oh but that's illegal too so I'll take you in for that damn my alibi was also legal wait the first thing was illegal oh yeah this is the universe for powder sugar illegal man thanks I don't know all this Huxley yeah the name of science fiction author looks like that's our show folks come at everybody thanks for coming to UCB's Ask Cat. We'll see you next Sunday. Now the show is free, but you do have to pay the leave. Here's the bucket of truth.

We're gonna pass it around. I haven't been to one of those shows in years. And I remember all the patter. Wow, okay. So normally we do, this is normally a show where we talk about the biggest city in America. So I'm Stuart Wellington. Okay.

Let's start over. Thanks for resetting for us. It was the way he said his name that sidetracked us. Dan, you're coughing a lot. Are you blazed? Wow. So this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and we talk about it. In this case, we watched a movie called Jim and the holograms.

Jim and the holograms. Jim and the holograms. It's where somebody eats graham crackers that are not actually there, it's just an image. I was gonna use the graham crackers were hollow. That would make more sense. Like a bird's bones. Okay. Based on the popular 80s cartoon of the same name.

What? Jim and the holograms. The snores? Yeah, the snores? She was. She was. I guess they didn't make it cartoon. Rubik's amazing. Rubik's amazing cute.

That's my favorite one. Where Rubik's cube is alien, that can transform into different things. Yeah, when you get the colors like the car. Often car. I think you're making that up. I don't remember that one. Rubik, the amazing cube is a real one.

I saw him. Here's not a real one. The squamps. How about the ones? The squamps are lovable little characters that are very marketable I'm willing to say the rights cheap they're all sexual predators so that explains why they're cheap so the show can't be near children that's the only problem okay well we'll just put on Netflix there's no children there right you're mistaken what about

YouTube yeah it's called a segue You're mistaken. What about YouTube? Yeah, kids. That's called a segue, because this movie's all about YouTube. Now, I want to make a... It's all about YouTube. I'm not too. I know it looks like a tube, because of the diet I've been on. The tube diet.

Now, here's, I'm going to make an astonishing admission. Okay. I don't know that I've ever actually watched an episode of Gem in the holograms. When I was in my 20s, suddenly people started talking about as if it was a show everyone remembered from when they were kids, I didn't remember it at all. This is only something I've experienced

through other people's nests. Yeah, this is something that I did watch, but I've got very vague memories of. And now I have very strong memories about other shows that no one remembers, like Dino Saucers. Okay, I mean, Mr. T. Cartoon, where he hung around with a bunch of gymnasts.

Where everyone remembers that one. Or Dino Riders, a lot of them are dinosaur based cartoons. Mm-hmm. What about Denver, the last dinosaur? Of course, Denver, the last dinosaur, he's my friend in a whole lot more. Sure, I remember that one. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, slow it, slow it,

slow it, slow it, slow it. That's the more. He's everyone's friends. What's a whole lot more mean? That seems creepy. Wait, wait, wait, wait, slow. That's my friend. That's sort of a big. No, that's the more. He's everyone's friends. That's a whole lot more, me. That seems creepy. Oh, we're lovers. We're not just friends. Me and that strongly implies that guitar playing dinosaur that I found in a cave and I are an item. That would be difficult, because dinosaurs aren't known

for having overly dexterous fingers. I don't know. There are a lot of dinosaurs with some like opposable claws. Oh, okay. Yeah. So they could have prevented, I don't know, a meteor to strike the planet and kill themselves.

You're saying it was all a plot? This is your spare change style, conspiracy video. Yeah. Let's say maybe go check out the giant dino chyrus claws at the museum of natural history. I'm probably pronouncing it wrong. But Dan, so Jim, the holograms, you did watch it. Yeah, now what I remember is,

and this could be totally wrong, but here's what I remember. Oh, well, somebody will fact check it and nicely send us an email explaining how we were possibly wrong. Probably, my brother. Jim was like this sort of high-powered business lady, maybe. And she had a computer called Synergy.

She's a real Sagoani Weaver and Working Girl type. It turned her into a truly outrageous pop star. And then there were the misfits. So it's like she has it all. She's like business by day, party at night. But she needs to keep her secret identity secret for some reason. Because it's like a real Hannah Montana situation.

And the misfits whose songs are better, say the, say themselves in the same song. Of course they say that. I mean, welcome. We're always. It's a great album. Trying to undermine Jam. And that's all I remember.

Okay. Now, we may have talked about this before on the podcast. How dumb I think it is that the misfits are the villain in the show, but that was a real band already. Yeah. And the producers of the show, I assume, knew this or maybe they didn't. Yeah, I mean, they could have just logged on to the internet and found out. All they'd do is check Spotify. Yeah. I mean, you can't copyright a name.

So they're like, maybe we can just borrow some of this. I mean, I could just start a band so they're like maybe we can just I mean the band walk some months You mean I could just start a band called the Beatles tomorrow sure man if you had the wherewithal You had the guts. Oh, I was bitten by a with all and now when there's a little bit of a wherewithal FYI you just have to spell Beatles with two ease Wait a minute like the animals yes gross like the animals who sang house the rising sun Well, I mean that's a traditional folks song. Yeah, folks sing it.

Folks like the animals. So that's why I know it was much more, it was a science fiction pop starry show about a truly outrageous singer, truly, truly outrageous. I mean, there was, there was elements that necessitated it to be a cartoon show, right? Yeah. One thing was for kids. And I mean, there were tons of shows for kids

that work cartoons. You're right, California Dream, so I remember it was. I remember it was me. My hometown who was happy the hobo. Hahaha. We're a hobo like clown at a variety show and had kids on. I may be wrong, but I remember it being a little like more soap opera-y than the usual cartoon,

and then I think it had like continuing storylines, which made me interested in it, even though I was a boy. No, Captain Cayman had no continuing storylines. But he did have a club that had a little bird that came out of it. Well, it was like a little bit of radar at like dish. Yeah, it was like he had Inspector Gadget,

but instead of being an entire man, Inspector Gadget was just as close. Yes, exactly. It was more of a dynamite type situation. Okay. Where all the robo stuff is in a dog. Okay, that makes that makes sense. That makes sense. That makes sense. So Jim, the holograms, the show was some kind of science fiction-y stuff about it truly outrageous. You say that I assume she says that, or it's in the cartoon. There's a no-one in a Gemis' name, no-one else is the same.

Gemis her name. Gem! This really doesn't tell you a lot about the character. There's a fair amount, there's some like female empowerment to it, yeah? Well, it's set on a world where women rule and men are slated. And men rule.

Oh, wow. It's called Earth. Oh, think about it. Always. People in my mind. But this is not a science fiction movie. This is unless you believe that you, this YouTube world we live in. No, no, no, unless a beatbox and robot who projects holograms and science fiction, which

it is, this is a movie that is not science fiction, except for one very specific element. The aforementioned beatboxing robot with polyrams. Let's say it's not science fiction for the first- Sons faction, like analog. For the first 40 minutes where there is no robot. Okay.

Because it eliminates the whole, like, the double life stuff is- A whole glass of eliminate. All the double life stuff is- All the double life stuff is basically just because like Jim is too shy. Yeah, there's no plot reason. Well, and it's a marketing thing. Anyway, let's tell you what's the movie it's about.

Okay, movie opens with a bunch of YouTube clips. A bunch of YouTube clips of kids just rocking out on music. Playing music man. Talking about how important music is to them. Music's their boyfriend, it's their king size bed, all that stuff. Anyway. We can Brittany alone. We are introduced to Jerrica, our main character who is a young singer who has very little.

There's a weird name. That's her main personality trait is that she has a weird name and she's a good musician. Yeah. Now, her dad was an inventor who was working on a robot named Synergy. Okay. And is there something in the cartoon called Synergy? I think that's the Hollywood robot or something. The computer that turns jam into a rock and roll star, a rock and roller, a real rolling

rocker. Now in the cartoon, it's a lot of rolling rock. Yeah, in the cartoon commercial that Mark Lin Baker did, he was like a rolling rock professor. What a lot of rolling rock. Yeah. The car too. The little commercial that Mark Lin Baker did. He was like a rolling rock professor. What? Do you remember those? He was a beer professor. It was like he was a professor of history or something.

This was from like 15 years ago, maybe 16 years ago. So in the cartoon, could Jim always play music and only the computer turned her into a totally old person? He really overestimated. You're my memory of this. So Dan, act out an episode for it. Okay. Knock, knock.

It's me, Jim. Hello. Structured like a joke. I like it. Jim who? Jim in the holograms. The end. The end.

Deek. Just the animation logo at the end. For some reason, it still has an inspector gadget putting the eye, the little eye dot and beak. Yeah, yeah. I mean, because you don't lose a character like that. No. Then the old Marvel animation logo

was Spider-Man dropping down on the Marvel logo. There's nothing I'm up with, baby, is what? So, we're in the office and Spider-Man share the same universe. It's like, I mean, Disney owns both, so yes. All right. I like, I would like to see that crossover. I mean, wait, like, six months, it'll probably happen.

It'll be in a video game where Mickey is a wizard or something. And by Mickey, I mean Mickey Dolan's, on the monkeys, voice of Arthur on the tick. Okay. Okay. Cartoon version about a thing that's true. Anyway, that's what a fact is. Jerica. Jerica.

That's a fact about a thing that's true. That's an effect. So Jerica is a girl. Her dad passed away, but before that, he was working on a robot. She and her younger sister lived with her aunt played by... Molly Ringwald, 80's star, Jim herself basically. She, at the right time, she would have been Jim. Yeah. Now, unfortunately, because of Hollywood's ageism, she cannot play Jim. She can only look kind of like Carol Burnett in movies like this. Now, Jerica, they live with her aunt,

Mollerman Walt, and her aunt's two foster daughters who have, I don't remember their names, Aja. Aja named after the Steeley Dan album. Right. And who is the other one? I don't remember, because she's not named after Deegan Blues. To against the world. And so they like to sing, they like to hang out, but no one likes to sing in play guitar more than Jerica. She was taught to sing in play guitar by her dad. He's dead, he made a robot. In any way, one day she was surreptitious. And her little sister is crazy about putting stuff

on the internet. She loves posting things. That's her primary hobby. She's always interesting and parascoping and Instagramming and YouTubeing and pornhubbing and pets.comming and stamps.comming and soap.comming and White House.goving and wikipedia.orging

and podcasting, podcasting, Yahooing, like hosting, asking Jeves. Angel firing. Angel firing, geocitiesing, net escaping, landscaping, landscaping, landscaping, news grouping, rec.art. Whatevering, prodigying, dark planning. I don't think I think of anymore. Did I say America Onlineing? No. America Onlineing. You've got mailing, Tom

Hanks and Meg Ryanning. it's really about bookstores. Anyway, it doesn't make any sense. She surptitiously records Jerica singing and playing guitar and then Jerica says, delete it, delete it and she says, okay, and then doesn't delete it instead. We've all been there. Am I right, guys? She's supposed to sit on the YouTube. What is that?

I don't know. I'm trying to look pretty creepy right now. Earlier when you did that Garth face. Garth face is offensive by the way. Sure. We're telling to be a Garth for humor. Yeah. It's okay for Garth.

It's not okay for you. Garth's going to say that they can say the G word Garth. Just what just Dana Garvey. Yeah, right and Darth Vader Kind of like a teenager, but also kind of like a turtle and that's how you be a guard Yeah, teenager plus turtle equals Garth or ninja The real the decideders if you're a mutant or not the Venn diagram is Garth overlaps with turtle for teenager, but not for ninja or mutant. Anyway, so Jericho's video goes viral like the plague in the stand. Everybody's seen it. Everybody loves it. Everybody's talking about, and did she call herself

a gem in it? I don't remember where the gem came from. Her sister uploads it under a gem unplugged. There was something about how her, like I think her dad called her his little Jim in it, I don't remember where the Jim came from. Her sister uploads it under Jim on plugs. There was something about Howard, like I think her dad called her his little Jim to that place. And the sister's got to spell. Yeah. Because he was one of those guys who's great with like,

science but not with writing. Right. No. He spelled the word Jim. Like Albert Einstein, his novels were terrible. I mean, his first one's okay. There's a lot of sex scenes in it, but otherwise. It's really, it's overly wordy.

Yes. We can all agree on that. Yeah. Too many flashbacks, playing with time and characters. Cool it on the adverbs Einstein. I'm a fan of his horanthology equals MC scared. Yeah. But he didn't write most of those. He just like put his name on the series, you know,

every now and then he tossed in a story, you know, yeah. So anyway, the video goes crazy. And suddenly, who everyone wants to know, who's this gem? Who's this gem? What's this gem all about? When we can hear more music from this gem? Gem, gem, gem, gem, gem, gem, gem, gem.

She is an overnight sensation, will be coming overnight sensation if she doesn't play her cards right it won't Juliet Lewis who is some kind of big record mogul she shows up and just bustles into gems like you guys only thought it was Parker Posey from the from the bottom of her heels always over her legs and she was talking and knowing that Parker Posey played essentially the same character in Josie and the Pussycats. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was gonna be her, but it wasn't. It was Juliet Lewis.

And so she was the only person who seems to be having any fun in this movie. Because she's playing the villain. I think later on when Ryan Hanson comes in, I think he's pretty good. And also the girls seem to have fun like dressing up. That robot's having fun. That robot is having too much fun. He's going crazy. Now we're never gonna get to the robot if you don't let me.

I'm sorry. Okay, so she signs Gem and the girls, her sisters to a contract, but they've got to play the character of Gem and her unnamed backup band. There's a lot of mystery. Who is Gem? Who is Gem?

And she signs them to a contract that says, you're gonna play a bunch of live performances as the character of Jim. I'm not gonna pay you till after the last performance. Oh, check sounds pretty. Bye. I could have a lawyer check out this contract, but I trust you, you see.

Well, I'm just a kid. I don't know nothing about the law. I'm just a minor. You can pay me in chicken nuggets. It's in the contracts. Oh, I might have go sheeting against myself. Give me fewer chicken nuggets. No, what am I doing?

Yeah, I need the ghost of Daniel Webster to help me. This is not the kind of law I'm really familiar with. We didn't ever put a contract. I'm more into ghost law. I was just an orator. I wasn't even really a lawyer. I don't think I mean we could Maybe he was a lawyer. I'm sorry. He was a lawyer. That's a lawyer, I don't think. I mean, we could poke. Maybe, no, he wasn't a lawyer. I'm sorry, he was a lawyer. That's a history note. That's a history note. We could poke holes in the like reality of this movie, or like check our brains at the door and have fun, right?

Yeah, come on. Pop some corn. I mean, science says that the universe is probably just a three-dimensional hologram, so Jen's kind of us, right? Which actually I guess does turn out to be the moral of the end. But so here's the thing about this movie. It plays by a lot of rules that if this was an out and out

movie musical, I would not be bothered by it all, but because it's not a musical, it's just a movie that has music performances in it. I am a little bothered by it. So when the characters break into a song that responds exactly to something that someone else has said or they can suddenly harmonize and when they're supposedly improvising lyrics. Yeah. Or cope with a like a sudden catastrophe when their band breaks up.

Yeah. And that all of Gem songs directly comment on what's going on in her career at that moment in the movie. If this was just a, if it shows how universal gems music is, I lay it. If this was just gem the musical, how universal James music is, Elliot. If this was just jammed the musical, I'd be like, no problem, not an issue I have with this. This was the bandwagon, you'd be like, yeah. If it was the bandwagon, I'd be like, this is not as good a movie as people say.

That's true. But if it was singing on the rain, I'd be like, yeah. Wow. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do part. I'm assuming that's usher. He's got the singing voice. He's got the real chops. He's the star. So they get signed this contract. They start playing shows. They're a. And the record executives' son played by the boy next door. Yep. The boy next door. For the movie The Boy next door.

Yeah. I thought he meant the guy who lived next door to me. Yeah. Who did live next to you? Yeah, his name's Wilson. You never see the Bob and all of his face. That's right. Boom.

Because he's a Bob and a great advice though. Wait, I got two Wilson's mixed up in my head. He gives me a lot of great advice about how to bump, how to set, how to spike. Oh, there's pretty much just three things that I better do. Don't hit it out. Oh, okay, good advice, Wilson. Oh, yeah, thanks. Oh, you're floating away.

I'm not a voli ball, an actual person, man. Funny voli ball. Sure thing, Wilson. Sure, I'll just get a bachelor like a regular ball. person, damn. Funny volleyball. Sure thing, Wilson. Sure, I'll just get a bat. Chill like a regular ball. Oh, that's my head. And then it turns out the end is a Tyler journey type situation and you were Wilson the whole time.

Yeah. Really? You're thinking about it. Wait, it's called strike club. What? Anyway, so, have, they find out that there's a robot that their dad built on synergy. Yeah, hold on, this movie suddenly has a robot in it.

He activates kind of out of nowhere and puts the, and he starts really late. It looks like one of those Earth to echoes. Yeah, he's a big Earth to echo. He has robot ears and he beatboxes a lot. He loves music. And clearly batteries are not included. They don't need to be because he runs on his own power.

And when you jump into water with him and swim under water with him, he's fine. Even though he's protected by not to put a burlap back in the back with an opening in the front. So he starts giving them clues for scavenger hunt that her dad put together before he died. And the scavenger hunt for whatever reason also seems to correspond with locations that help them with Jim's career. To make a long story short,

she starts falling for the guy who's her shaperone. I mean, he's a super hunk. The boss of the record company is Miner and Miner as time goes on. Jen becomes a huge sensation. And after one show. After one show, they have another show. They have one at their first show.

The power goes out for some reason. I don't know why. Well, we didn't see it because Archie stepped on the controller to the Apple TV, which switched the function over to Apple TV. Dan, Archie was being real that darn cat tonight. Archie is always that darn cat. I often say that.

You're darn cat and Archie says, meow. But it's not much of a conversation. But not like this. Meow. He says meow. Like a human would. And you roll up a newspaper. I'm beginning to suspect Archie of a conversation. But not like this. You. She says me out. Yeah. A human would. And you and you roll up a new

I'm the suspect Archie is a man in a cat costume. Oh, like when Teller was on that episode of Darman Greg. What? He was like another character's cat. And the other characters and like the heroes could tell it was a guy dressed up like a cat that the cats owner could not. That was a much more surreal show than I ever suspected it was. Oh, okay.

There was also an episode where they get caught pretending to be southern in a store and this they just keep pretending at the end of Al Gore comes and has dinner with them, but not real Al Gore like an actor playing Al Gore. Okay. There's a weird show. But anyway, they're on the scavenger hunt. They're at their feet. Anyway, our darman Greg cast. We want to talk more about darman. The power goes out and she has seen that there's in this venue, there's a bunch of guitars on the wall. I assume victims of earlier guitar killers or performers. It's like the guitar player got excited

after his performance and just threw it up in the air and it stuck to the wall. Yeah, like a constellation being formed by Hercules hurling the bear into the sky. And one of the guitars has a clue in it from her dad and she's inspired by that to just play acoustically and the show goes on. It's a huge hit.

Everyone at the show seems to know her songs before she's premiered them, but whatever. If it was a musical that wouldn't bother me. Now I missed, maybe I spaced out. Now you said a clue. Did you specify that her dad has created this weird scavenger hunt? Yes.

Okay. Now, and each of these clues, there's also a message like create your destiny or use your talents, which normally you'd have to eat a Chinese meal to get a message like that. But no. You'd have to go to the dentist and see a poster

upon this thing. Normally, you'd have to get sent to the guidance counselor's office. But no, here you merely have to go on a scavenger hunt around L.A. with a robot. And so there is a lot of nonsense. They find out their aunt is possibly going to lose their home because they haven't been paid yet because they are not being paid until the end of the tour. And it's not the end of the tour. They kind of forget about that. That's the problem. Right. What? They kind of forget about the whole house. A lot. It doesn't.

It feels like there's not a lot of stakes for most of the movie. No, they never eat. Nobody eats. It feels like there's not a lot of stakes for most of the movie. No, they never eat. Nobody eats. Sorry, I jumped in on that one. The stakes are, for most of the movie, the stakes are, is Gem going to be the biggest star ever or the biggest superstar? Is she merely the next Madonna or is she the next Christ? That's the stakes.

Until the family needs money fast. So she asked the boss for an advance and the boss is sure if you sign this solo contract, we don't want the other girls, we just want Jim. And she signs it because she needs the money, does she tell her family why she's doing it? No, of course. And then they immediately break up, which is kind of great because normally in this type of movie,

they would, you know, a movie about superstar rockers with their pet robot. They would, they would like they would make the lead singer the star kind of slowly change over time. And it stopped to be about the music and more like this, like this one person show. But this movie does away with that. And they're like, we're going to have this conflict happen super fast and get out of the way, had the man break up with her and then have her change her mind within like 15 minutes.

She does a show that goes if anything better than the other shows, like she's clearly a solo artist. Yeah, it's just like very like lady Gaga performance-y thing with the she's got a crazy outfit on. There's a bunch of gymnasts going around. There's full choreography. Nobody seems to notice that her sisters aren't there. No, because Jim is what they're there for. Mm-hmm. And frankly, the boss is making a pretty good point. Like there are a number of artists whose career took off when they became solo artists and left their bands. Give me an example. Andrew Jackson. Andrew Jackson. No, Michael Jackson. Okay.

Or as we were imagining that David Burns shows up and tells her that you are right to leave that group. You were the talented one. Now you should get weird and do a lot of music that no one really wants to hear that much. Yeah. Get together with David and Brian Eno. Or David Eno. Brian's brother. Yeah. He uses his sends Brian Eno, Brian's brother. He uses his sense Brian Eno letters of words. Together for dinner. Yeah, he's usually recording albums with Stung, former singer of the Polly's. The Polly's, which was a polyostring cheese based band.

He's together with Brian Eno and just get him. Just start. Why don't you guys go with Blues Trapper? That's right. We're the Rolling Stones. Have you heard about that new girl piano player, Milly Joel? Yeah, that was Led Zeppeloon. Led Zeppeloon? That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon.

That's not even Led Zeppeloon. That's not even Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon.

That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. That's not even as good as Led Zeppeloon. Where her name is because she follows the sign that her father left her, which looks eerily like an elder sign from the HB Lovecraft mythos.

Yes, but it's also it looks like something that they they drew in the Samandat side of the old house. Her sisters show up, hey, the bands back together. And they and then the chaperone shows up, hey, I found you guys and they go, oh, the last clue was in some earrings that my dad gave me, but the earrings, because they were taken away when I was made over into Gem are in a safe for some reason. And the record headquarters. Yeah, instead of just throwing them in the garbage, Juliet Lewis has put them in a little, like a little red box. Like a little golden sarcophagus.

Because I'd assume she thought Gem's call was in there and so that Gem could travel safely to the other world. The other world being, of course, access Hollywood. Kyle was in there. And so that Jim could travel safely to the other worlds, the other world being, of course, access Hollywood. Luckily, she's found her caught at Stephen King's the Dark Tower, come to theater soon. Interesters and her new boyfriend. And they travel to this mystical place called Starlight

Enterprise or whatever. Yes, Starlight Records. Now, here's the, here's something I didn't understand, is that Juliet Lewis's son, who is their chaperone, he works for the company. His mom runs it. And you'd think he could just walk in and say, hey, I have to go up to the offices with Jim, the biggest star that we have signed to us. But instead they, instead they sneak in and break into the office.

Doesn't make sense. They break into her safe and they find the only copy of it. You would have thought that if you're going to do this in this movie where you have a fucking robot character, have the robot be integral to like the robot. You got a BB-8 on your hands here, guys. You're shooting him like a BB-1. You're trying to let go of ZZ nothing. Not even a ZZ top, a ZZ bottom.

ZZ bottom. He's a really bearded guy who, you know, you know, but as easy bottom. Mm-hmm. As easy bottom. He's a really bearded guy who, you know, you know. He's always sleeping, you know. What? He gets the head of an ass. I'm just saying in the bedroom, you know. With Titania.

I'm talking about a different type of bottom than you are, dude. I was talking about bottom from from mid-summer's night's dream. I was sleeping. That's why it's easy, because it's easy. That's what I was talking about too. Dan was talking about bottom from from mid-Summer's nice dream. Who was sleeping? That's why it's easy because it's easy. That's what I was talking about too. Dan was talking about the sexual position. The one who named after the popular Shakespearean character. Was that what he was?

I guess I missed the scene in a mid-Summer night's dream where Tatania puts a strap on on and then does bottom. But now I understand why he was so surprised when he woke up. That's why he says ill met by moonlight Titania He doesn't say that that's Oberon but for the purposes of this joke. That's why so is it? Il met my moon Titania and Oberon says you never do that with me No wonder he's so mad. Yeah

Wow, so so we've come up with some kind of what like penthouse porn over is in a business dream where it's called like fuck and things like that. Wow, I'm not even trying. This is where penthouse is where I'm trying. This is like a little Annie Fanny version. Yeah, anyway, so they get in there, they manage to crack the password for the safe, which is Julia Lewis's character's name. Yeah, that is a terrible password. That's like the first thing they tell you

not to use is your password. Yeah, any professional security I will tell you, throw some numbers in there. Maybe some punctuation marks. Don't just use your name, but they also find. But I don't want to do three after that. Yeah, if you're gonna do Stewart use like a dollar sign instead of an S and like a V instead of a U

and like five exclamation points because it's worth it. You want to yell it out? Yeah, exactly. They find a copy of his dad's will and in which he leaves the whole company to hand. It says he leaves the company to the mother but the son has the ability to choose the take the company whenever he feels he is ready for it Which is a strangely worded clause he found a hip-be-ness at the end of his life And it's time for the last big gem show and Gem and the Hollywood and Gem and the girls are back together and

They there's a couple of great little character scenes with like a valet character and then like Ryan Hansen as an overly enthusiastic security guard character and one thing you skipped over Before the 30 montages before the final show. There's the payoff for this are the big Scaminger hunt where That's right. That's right. She puts her earrings in synergy and she's rewarded with a hologram of her dad who tells her he's proud of her and he loves her. Yeah. Says I can't believe you made it. I think you could have assumed it's necessary to complete this puzzle. You would be great at missed. Yeah. You'd be great at the old Batman series where the Robin and Batman are able to put together the Riddler's puzzles. Yeah. There was one of

the puzzles where the answer was one of the puzzles where the answer was, one of the riddles, the answer was a canary with a machine gun. And even as a kid, I was like, that's not a real riddle. Come on. Yeah.

What was the answer to the riddle? The answer to the riddle was a canary. The question was like, what has made him stand and fires or something like that? Is there a canary character in the Batman? No, no, it was just a goofy thing. Okay. Because they didn't have respect for the Batman franchise.

This is the Dark Knight detective. Come on. Yeah. Rated horror. For Robin. Robin. Your DVD shelf. Hopefully soon.

Because there's been a shit ton of Batman movies. Yeah, that's true. There was Batman, Batman again, Batman 2, Batman, what? I know they're Batman. Still batten it. Batten 2, electric battle, there was Batman versus Megalon. There was Batman in the Temple of Bats. There was Batman meets Howard the Duck, part three. Batman. Back in bat. There was back to the future, the Batman Chronicles major league colon batman's on the team now. There was night bat bat night. I mean, that makes sense because they were.

Oh man, it's a bad. Is that Batman? No, it's not. Oh, yes, it is the movie. Let's not forget Allison. I said, there was a man. I was right. You it's Batman. Batman, remember I said that was Batman. Hey, look behind you. It's Batman.

Batman, the movie, the movie, which was a movie about going to see the first Batman movie. There was a Batman. There was a brought man about sausage. There was a cat man and which is cat man, brothers, breaks his feet. He's a big boy. A tight, a rich playboy sitting, and he says, I shall dress up to scare criminals and scare man brothers fly through the window.

I will become a skat man. Scooby-D-Bob, skinny Bob, Scooby-D-Bob. Bo them up. And they hit him with an axe and he was like, my one weakness. An axe to the stomach. You saw the shining, didn't you? So she gets a message from her dad saying he loves her. It takes a long time. And as I mentioned you guys while we're watching it, I'm the only one of the flop house host who has a child.

If anything, I should be touched most deeply. Damn you, Tammy, if you were touching my secret thing. That was your secret thing. That's right, it was all time. You really wanted children? No, I know. Don't try and send me any. James, I don't like.

No, you're getting children in the mail. No, oh God. Children of the corn that is. Oh my God, that's terrible. They like cat-feet food, right? I mean, they probably would, but don't do that. Okay. As someone with a child, the idea of not surviving

to see them grow up and become an adult is terrifying to me. And yet, my reaction to this scene was, ah. Well, it doesn't help that it is interminable. It take goes on forever. I mean, that one you just want the movie to end. At this point, this is a two hour movie. You set the two hours mostly, my time in the holograms is a two hour.

Two hour pop. Yeah, on a set like unrelated YouTube clips. Yeah, there's a lot of YouTube clips that are used sometimes as like the soundtrack. You have a YouTube clip of someone playing music or playing the drums or whatever, some dance routine. And that's used on the soundtrack to score a scene. And I kind of like that as a technique, even though it wasn't used great here. It wasn't your tempo.

It was not my tempo. I kept holding my hand up, but the movie wouldn't stop. So through a chair at the movie, I broke your TV, Dan, I'm sorry. But it's the movie just takes forever. So they go to the big, they go to the final show, they defeat the bad person, they're to the final show, they defeat the bad person,

they're doing the last performance and they say, hey, you know what, you know who gem is? It's everybody. It's anyone who has courage and a dream, your gem and you and you and you. Now let's just look at this book. Just a little cut, but inside of all of it. Yeah, just like the end of Godzilla 2000.

That's happened to me the last couple of times I've gone do rock shows. The band gets up there in their blood You know who Gore Guns is? Big deal, wouldn't you? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no sing along and grab the person closest to them that they took to the sacrifice shit. You know, let's put the lights up on the house. I'm not seal. Your seal. I'm not seal. What are you talking about? No, you are. You thank his for a rose. No, seal for all legal purposes. Touch this skull with me. You're seal now.

And I've been on this edge. Founded with me, you're sealed now. And now you've been on my desk. He's found in with me, everyone. I'm free. Free of the curse of being married to Heidi Klue. I think you was free that years ago. I forgot I think this was it. Anyway. He's probably hanging out with Salmon Roostery complaining about their former wives

that are also former models. And reality show hosts. Yeah. Reality competition. They probably have a lot to talk about. Oh, they're best friends. So you know Salmon Roostery. He calls, well,

so he call someone who calls. Sealand Salmon. Well, someone rushed. He calls seal of approval. And seal calls someone rushed. You premium rush. That's just because their nicknames are each other runs in a in being John Malgavitch.

How Charlie she can call John Malfitch Malgatress. It was a funny nickname. Anyway, long story short, the show goes great. The editor of Rolling Stone sidles up to, I guess, the new head of the record company and she says, hey, James Great, what's the name of the band? He looks down at the hologram projecting robot that no one else can notice. And he goes, no jam in the holograms, smash cut credits. We're done onto mid-credits scene where the villain, she goes to like an alleyway under a bridge.

She's deep into Delta City territory. Yeah, she's gonna go see some skills. Yeah, she's in the soil and green area where the people are like, or no, she's in the part of Logan's run where it's just teenagers who kill each other. She's gonna see Edgar friendly and the rest of the people are like, oh no, she's in the part of Logan's run where it's just teenagers who kill each other. She's going to see Edgar friendly and the rest of the people who spray paint taco bells in the future. And she hires the misfits, not the ban the misfits again, but the camera.

Yeah, once again, to switch sets us up for, I guess, J2, Jim and the holograms, which would be the sequel that will never happen. And we already talk about how the director is planning on crossing this over with GI Joe and Transformers? He has announced his intentions. And because very often the producer- What about the Cowboys and Moo Maces, that in the same level? Or the same level.

Very often the producers of huge franchises like Transformers or GI Joe will say, yeah, let's cross over with a flop of a movie. It's the same reason that the Spider-Man movies crossed over with, I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry. That was a huge hit. It's true. Spider-Man married Chuck, but he was in love with Larry. Oh, weird.

So Dan's looking concerned. Is that because the movie's over? And because we're going too long? No, we should probably get into final judgments. Well, it's not impositive, but I don't want to hedge my bets. Whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie kind of like, I'm going to say about this movie that it should have been 88 minutes at the most.

It's been in the movie 88 minutes. Now, but you know. And it should have had, set that's the TikTok doc one. I think it is, yeah. Watch that. She had a crazy computer, and it should have had a lot more fun, and a lot less YouTube, and it just bored the shit out of me.

Yep. So I didn't really, I, you know, I definitely saw an episode of Jim Mahalgram's, but I didn't really bring a lot of that baggage in with me. And so it was probably a better viewing experience for you, right? Yeah, I was kind of put off by the sheer amount of YouTube clips and the kind of interesting cinematography with a lot of like handheld almost documentarian style. And it was still pretty boring, and I don't remember much that happened.

Although it's excited about a few interesting character turns, but I will say that bad movie. I was excited to watch this movie by the way. Well, this should have been one of the least successful movies of all time. This should have been a really crazy silly movie and instead it was a very by the numbers girl becomes a rock star movie. Yeah. With a robot that projected holograms and somehow that didn't make the movie crazy. Yeah.

Imagine the most boring version of a robot that projects holograms being in a movie. Like I guess it just projects eye tests. Eye charts. Like test patterns. It projects. It projects its own user agreement. That is so boring. And you've got to keep scrolling through it. Yeah. I don't want to just click the box because I don't want to say I'm agreeing to

something. I don't agree. Come on. You don't want to keep it real dogs. Yeah, but this was a very dull movie, Jim and the Dullagrams. Jim and the telegrams. What if I sat in the 19 Dullagrams. Gem in the Telegrams? What if it was set in the 19th century? It's called Gem in the Telegrams. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Podcasts. Podcasts.

Podcasts. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ They're audio programs that tell smart stories. In innovative ways, using editing techniques like this. Like this. Like this? Yeah. But let's face it, all that smart stuff can be exhausting.

That's where Stop Podcasting Yourself comes in. It's so stupid. It's just two stupid dingoses. Being dumb idiot jerks for 90 minutes. Stop Podcasting Yourself. The stupid show that smart people love. Find it on iTunes. Our maximumfun.org.

We've got some sponsors tonight. Woo! So we're in for a little bit of flop house house supported in part by Squarespace, the simplest way to create a compelling website. From the strange to the downright bizarre, great stories to find us, you should tell yours with simple tools and templates. Squarespace helps you capture your story with a captivating website. You can start your free trial today by visiting squarespace.com slash

flop. You should squarespace. A rare no introductions section of Dan's. No introductions. I think you mean interruptions. We didn't introduce the fact that this was a squarespace ad because why do that? Ladies and gentlemen, may I present you a squarespace advertisement? Squarespace. Presented by a square space. A listener, square space, square space listeners.

I'll let you guys get to know each other while I fix some drinks. So this is what it makes, this is what it feels like to make fun of someone from Miss Singh's up there. Yeah. Is that why my face is experiencing it actually? I find it very fulfilling. Now here's the thing. My face is beep red.

My knees are knocking together. Does two people like me or do they hate me? They like you. Oh, that's great. Now, just to remind people, I am using Squarespace for my new site, WernerHerdsogsUrethra.gov. And Squarespace is interface is so easy to use. I don't need to know coding.

It responds up to the different mediums. I'm having trouble getting the.gov suffix. But I think I can convince Prezzo- to do it and if he won't press Trump will do it and you can load tons of pictures on that Peace so people know what they're looking at. Oh, yeah, I mean, I'm gonna have an interactive map of Rortaz Yorethroen case he gets stuck in it sometime There's gonna be an interview with his urologist Video interview there's gonna be be live streaming web footage from the camera placed inside his. And this all set up through Squarespace, that sounds great.

And entirely through Squarespace. I mean, there's a lot of text too. I mean, because there's got, there's excerpts from his peeing diary. A lot of people don't know that Werner Herzog keeps a pissed diary of every time of year and eights. It's something you picked up from Klaus Kitsky. And it's just gonna be a really, really exciting site. And there's also that square space.

There's that one section that's all just like your favorite quotes from historical figures. About Eurethras. Oh, that's what they're about. I just thought they were all inspirational. So I wanted you guys to know that also, listeners at home, the flop house is also supported. It's supported on a few. What have you wrought? No. listeners at home, the flop house is also supported, supported, supported. Oh, no, whatever.

Whatever you would have you rot. No. No. That stupid gypsy. Look, I, I mean, they don't like these, the word gypsy. Oh, okay. My cloison drove his catching. That stupid Romani.

Thank you. Ray Romani from everybody who loves Romani. What's the deal with that side belt? You're a lot of them. You're a lot of them. You're a lot of them. I'm doing an impression of side belt. I'm talking that side fell. Yeah. I'm not doing an impression of side bill.

I'm talking about side. I'm not. Okay. If we've had some laughs here tonight, but the flop-ass is supported in part. It's serious for a moment. Let's buckle down because the flop-ass sported by is supported by Mac Weldon.

Okay. Now, here at the flop-house, we like to be comfortable. You know it. When we finish recording at night and get ready to climb into our giant three person bed, we like to slip into some comfortable clothes. Comfortable underclothes. That's what Mac Weldon provides. That's what's supposed to feel comfortable. Yeah, Stuart, you're making you guys uncomfortable. A little bit. Okay, well Mac Weldon will make you feel very comfortable. Yeah, Stuart, you're making... Am I making you guys uncomfortable? A little bit. Okay, well Mac Weldon will make you feel very comfortable. They provide comfortable underwear, socks, sweats,

that look great and feel fantastic. Yeah, I mean, speaking of someone who's wearing Mac Weldon under things right now, they are very comfortable, but you are making me uncomfortable. Now your comfort is very important, both to me, Stuart from the Flop House and a Mac Weldon. That's why if you don't like your first pair of underwear, you can keep it and they will still send you a refund.

No questions asked, like you're at the Flop House. Wait, we're gonna refund people for the unused portion of their podcast. Yeah, but they don't pay anything, so it's okay. Yeah, so it's me, Mack Welding. Hey, buddy. Me, Mack, just saying, underpants, so what I like to think about, underpants on you.

Now, what are you guys waiting for? Why don't you go over to macwellden.com to get 20% off by using the promo code flopFLOP. It's very comfortable clothing. Now, I want to say, before we even had them as a sponsor, I had some Mac Weldon socks. And you know that you're an adult when you stop being disappointed when you get new socks

and start being excited when you get new socks. And I was extra excited when I got these Macwell and socks because they are sharp looking and they are durable and they're comfortable. I want to get real with you guys for a second. Can I get real with you? Oh, okay. So possible. So when I got my first pair of Macwell and underwear in the mail, I put them on, but I accidentally put them on inside out and they still felt really great. I don't know how that's possible to do.

You really have like, I'm a bad little boy. Who cares, deal with it. They are very, very comfortable under this. I don't play by your rules. So Dan, why don't you just tell them to use the promo code? Yeah, use the promo code floppy at 20% off. Now, don't go to macwelding.com. You cannot fix a Mac computer with a welding torch. I learned that the hard way. Yeah. You got a Mac weld and that's m-a-c-k-w-e-l-d-o-n.com.

But we have a couple of messages up on the jumbo tron this week. First off, the Lemmy Listen family of podcast productions. I'll explain the jumbo tron. Okay, cause we've done this is like the second time we've done it, so people will be like, what's that? Explain it to me, Dan, I'm dumb.

All right, well, yeah, Stuart's on the jumbo tron. Now, let me give you through these first genels. It's a little racist now, and then I'll get, wow, overruled. I'll get back This judge won't allow it So we got a couple of messages in the jummer John this first one is listen to the let me listen family podcast productions The storytelling comedy brawl podcast let me finish the tardy movie review podcast late seating and the improv comedy podcast series

American monsters and how to destroy them and the Improv Comedy Podcast series, American Monsters, and how to destroy them. And you can listen to these by searching for the Lemme Listen Podcast when iTunes SoundCloud. How do you smell, how do you spell that? Stitcher or visit our website, www.let me listenpodcast.com. That's L-E-M-M-E Listen Podcasts. And we have another message.

Yeah, go bend your ear to those guys for another podcast. And whatever. The greatest generation is a Star Trek podcast by two guys who are a bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. Every Monday and Wednesday, Ben and Adam catch you up on an episode of Star Trek, the next generation in an nostalgic look at a Seminole television show. And by Seminole, we're talking about what Rikers leaving behind on the Holodec gross. Gross. You don't have to watch the show to enjoy the podcast. So join the thousands of listeners who already do and subscribe to the greatest generation now.

And you can do that by going to the greatest generation of iTunes or at g-a-g-h.biz. And if you wanna get a message up on the jumbo tron, it's easy. Go to maximumfund.org-forwards-lash-jumbo-tron and for $200 for a commercial message or $100 for a personal message, you can get a little promotion at a reasonable price.

And you get to hear our sweet voices say stuff. Well, dance voice. And we interrupt them. That's part of the game. That's true. You interrupt a good game, boy. But now you... Sir, can I have a question for you, Mother? Interrupted, anger square. Bear with me for a little bit longer, because I know that we've done a lot of... Is that bear going to be me for a little bit longer because I know that we've done a lot of bear gonna be with you a little bit longer

I hope so because that bear is gooby And he's a magical bear. Yeah, that I love very much and he helps me Does he help you gene levy? I can't remember what we have in a They come to you gene levy with foil. I actually didn't see that episode or that wasn't here for that episode Was she gene levy even in gooby? He was definitely in that that episode. That wasn't here for that episode. Was Eugene Lovy even in Gooby? He was definitely in that. Okay. I don't, I remember him being lifted off the ground

by a crane, but that could be. That could be any number of you doing movie. That could be what, bringing down the house. Well, that's more he was straight tripin' boo. All right. No, I just wanted to say one last message. And that is the 2016 Max Fund drive is just around the corner. In fact, you can see it on the horizon from where you stand in.

The Hoi! Two bells. The Hoi McCoy. You should join us for the best two weeks in podcasting and show your support for the Flop House and Max Fund Fund. We're going to have a great Max Funcon episode, next episode. And next episode is also what? Our 200th episode.

What? So whatever I done with my life. We got an exploding crazy planned and we got a very special guest. That's right. It's finally the all new episode we're doing. Yeah, that's right. It's finally the all-new episode we're doing. Yeah, that's right. Finally.

We're going to put down a tarp and just see what happens. Oh, the grain water is going to collect in the air places. Yeah, it's our 200th episode. 200 episodes. So now we get to go into syndication, right? That's what happens. Yeah, that's exactly what happens. We're going to be on the... That's the one he that's exactly what happens. We're gonna be on a...

He starts a role it is. We're gonna be on TBS in the middle of the day. Yep, us and Supernatural and Las Vegas with the main character, Danny McCoy. Coming up next. What? Wicked. And then the flop house. Uh, but, uh, yeah, you should look forward to the two on the two on the...

I know, Charmed on the English side. 200 that the child. Wicked is a Broadway show charmed is charmed is also a Broadway We've got a great show planned. I'm very excited for next. I can tell you sounded excited You sound you've dialed it up all the way to three What's the use? Why bother this has been yourOR with the Flaw House. You know me, that's a damn Koi loving. You know me, you don't know my family.

I'm damn Koi. You know me, everybody. I hate everything. That's right. I'm like, I'm in the air. He eats everything. He eats everything. And you know me.

See, biscuit. The world's most popular horse. The horse, the horse who announces himself. I gotta go. Wow. He eats everything and you know me see biscuit the worst was popular horse. Well, we're soon Well, I got to go Wow, we have all these reaguring characters this episode before I do under the episode We got really should save them for the 200 But um, so we've got the excitement that comes with the awning while talking I just get I just get really happy with see biscuit stuff's fine Um, so we've got uh exclusive gifts for new and upgrading members during the max fund

We've seen some and they look cool. They are amazing. We can't talk about them just yet But there's one of the $10 a month level that I'm particularly excited about. It's got Dan cream and his jeans Don't ever say that. That's horrible Actually, and I cure it Don't ever say that. That's horrible. And it's actually inaccurate. I remember hearing that phrase for the first time. But it was like a porn ad in the back of a national lampoon magazine. Craming your jeans. And I was like, this is this disgust me, but I'm 12 years old. It arouses me in a strange way. I'm definitely ordering it, but it's disgusting.

And because it's an actual lampoon, you're cracking up with all that gist, or not, your wiener. I'm cracking up with the way that they really... I don't like any of this. I'm cracking up with the way they really... They're sticking it to the Nixon administration. Oh. Yeah. Anyway. They're sticking it to the Nixon administration. Anyway, if you were reading an old national

anthem, it wasn't old national. You can't monitor it. It's going to be behind the times 1973 issue of national anthem. I was reading a modern national ampune's naked miles, American pies. Presents road trip. Yeah, exactly. Vac vacation. It's just an attitude screenplay But uh, so market calendar for the max fund drive. It's all starts March 14 and don't miss out on the excitement

but uh, March 14 As people usually say when they talk about dates one last thing before letters, just a lot of quick thank yous for. We got a lot of gifts in the Flop House Flop Bag this week. Thanks to Stacey Edwards for the care package. Thanks for the HP Lovecraft movies from Andrew last name with Held. Those are very exciting. Awesome, yeah. I'll call it a Thulu, the whisper in darkness.

I just call it the Thulu I've seen. That was really good. Thanks for the HP, or sorry, if thanks for the blue ray of the Bougons for Stuart from someone named Crang the Inbuband. That made a minute. That sounds great. I can't wait to watch that shit. Thank you.

What cultural heritage do you think that is? Boogeon? I think it's Polish. Oh, that's not it. Thank you to Ben Newman for the copy of his new book, which is a major. Ben Newman is, we've mentioned him on the show before. He did the, what was the April O'Neill pin-up art? That's right.

Many, many episodes ago. You had a couple of people you wanted to thank. Oh, yeah. I wanted to say thank you to Adam Goldberg for the, I think it's a DVD copy of No Escape. Hopefully, maybe we'll give it a watch sometime soon. Not the Ray Leot of No Escape, the new one. No, that would be inappropriate for the podcast because that's a good, great movie. And I'd also like to put out an extra thank you to Eric North, listener Eric North,

who was kind enough to send along some very lovely gifts. Mine is a framed poster of the Masters of Horror series with many autographs, autographs. I'm already thinking about my favorite autograph on there, which is Dario Argentos, which is written Argento Dario. So these were Japanese? I don't know. And likewise, thank you for my gift from that the signed copy of Talking Head 77, which is amazing. Yeah. And I got a signed picture of Groucho Marx, which is astounding.

There will probably be pictures shown up on the internet. But once again, thank you, Eric North. It was far too kind of a hazard. That was way too generous. We have done literally nothing to deserve that. And lastly, I would like to thank Nathan Raven, the originator of the phrase, manic pixie dream girl, for the signed picture of Orlando Bloom and Kristen Dunst from Elizabeth Town.

Whoa, I know at least one person who would fight you for that. His name is Orlando Bloom. He's just trying to destroy all evidence of Elizabeth Town. He will shoot you full of arrows. But finally, sorry for the long housekeeping this week, the flop house housekeeping, Stuart has branded it. Flop house housework, sir. Oh, so. Wow. I said, I said, I said, Rarow, sir. That's how you should end things. Yeah.

Rarow, let's do it. I said. But now it's time for everyone's favorite segment So uh this first letter. Yeah, let's bring the letters on is from Ethan last name with help hawk Ethan hawk Or from And it goes like this To us What a guy. He wrote it before sunset or sunrise. Or then as a world daybreaker. He was days and confused. He slipped that song. And while I

wasn't paying attention, he wasn't in that, but reality by it. He was in that boyhood. No, he wasn't in that, but reality by, he was in that. Boyhood. Boyhood. So, uh, post of Utopia at Lincoln Center. Let it goes like this. My wife is a nurse and a year ago, she told me about it as order. She told me about it as order that makes it feel like you have worms in your scrotum. Oh.

Instantly, I knew if I ever had a question for the flop house, I could open with some joke about warming boners and maybe the crypt keeper has this disorder. But now that I look it up, it's actually super gross. It sounds horrifying. So let's move on. It sounded like it was pretty fine. And then I looked it up.

With that amazing opening game. I mean, with the crypti, it's probably okay because he's a decaying corpse. Yeah. With that amazing opening gambit, I would like a real gallows, you know, a question. I'm a screenwriter and I recently got to pitch some ideas, one of which was a supernatural fantasy adventure, so bonkers and high concept that I was really just testing the limits of

what I could get away with. I assumed it was an instant, oh fuck no. But shockingly, that was one of the only ideas that got to go ahead. So now I'm paralyzed with terror. This idea sounds exactly like a premise for a future episode. My greatest fear is a writer. But apparently, there's potential in it. Do you have any overarching tips for how the script could avoid the pitfalls of bad, bad,

and even good bad? What's the thin line that separates a flop from a movie you actually really like? Help me floppers. You're my only hope. Ethan's last name withheld. So how do avoid writing a movie that shows up on the flop house? It's tough because I feel like there's so many levels between the finished script product and the final product. Yeah, script is such a kind of prototype.

As the Oscars showed us by having screenwriting be one of the first, if not the first, over this year. It was the first award this year. But they do that sometime. They put out a relatively major award or an important award at the beginning to get you interested. But the structure this year was to show you like the lifespan of a film from beginning

to end. Yeah, that was theoretically the structure. Yeah, but it also, the first element that they showed going into that magic movie projector in the beginning was courage, and I was like, fuck you off. I'm scared. I could forget this. But I think I still put it down to, we gotta put something at the beginning.

It's why best supporting actress so often is like really really. So don't start your movie with an opening monologue from your character explaining some stable, and growing, or something. Yeah, my mother always told me, or there's a prophecy that told me. I don't make your character explaining some yeah, the main one. My mother always told me or there's a prophecy that I don't make your character a chosen one because that robs him or her of any sort of personal agency in the story.

Begin the movie in media rest. How about this? Don't assume the audience needs to know everything, but assume they need to know important stuff for the plot later down the road and a lot of our movies We see they're over explained stuff that's not necessary or doesn't they don't explain anything You're like who are these people what's going on? I think that should not be explained at all if you can help it is character You should not have a character explain to another character what one character is about what we should see what the character is about What if we should characters should still be welcome, right? Oh, sure. This is the USA after all.

It's always funny. Wait, that's DBS. Always on, never off. But they know drama, TNC. So do all those things. It's not DBS, it's HBO. But I think the most important thing is to try to toe the balance between being original, but not so original that your movie makes no sense.

We should be able to relate to something in it, but it should surprise us in some way so that we can't guess what the ending is 15 minutes in. Yeah, I mean, if your basic structure will work, even if you take all the fantasy elements out, you're probably doing the right thing. So that's our genuine, not that funny answer to your question.

We did all that shit where we did characters welcoming stuff. That's hilarious. Yeah, it looks kind of. People are fucking rolling in their seats. I think they're rolling in their seats. They're rolling in the weeble lovels. They can't fold out. People are rolling in the weeble novels. They can't fall down. People are rolling in the deep out there.

Because they're on Molly. Anyway, so, uh, couldn't see my face just then, but it was complete. What was that all about? This one goes like this. As one of your few loyal, well, Scotch listeners, I have to congratulate you on the super great job you did of capturing my native bro. Not since Mike Myers-Schreck or Christopher Lambert in Highlander has the Scottish accent sounded so natural. I dare say your mastery of the Scots tongue is even on par with local boy James McBoy's American accent and wanted. Cheers guys. Craig country withheld. So thank you for

country withheld. So thank you for many things. Little bunch of Scottish fellows. Oh, wow, that was pretty good. Yeah, see, I was practicing. It's me, Scrooge McDuck. I the that's pretty good of Scotland. Sounds like a Russian mobster. Kills Scrooge McDuck. Try to person. It's me, Scrooge McDuck. Give me all of your money bin. I lost key to money bin. It's very important. Bigelboy's hot on tail.

Please. For please, magic of the spell is behind with much wanting for my wonder one die. I have been out with much use of mowing of ducks and now I will launch pad McQuack in Tobin. Yes? Nah. Oh, but I mean yes.

I mean, I. Hmm. Lafroy. Boise-moie. So why did that letter about Scotland turn it does to Russian access? Cause we're more comfortable with that. I guess so. Well, you're really, um, so this is the next episode, this next episode, this next episode is the next sort of letters.

Is letters is filmed before a live studio audience letters. Previously on letters, I'm from Scotland. And I like the Scottish accent you did. I'm being... Bang, bang, bang. Someone's killed a letter. Today on Letters she wrote. So in this one episode, Elliot referred to the episode of Save by the Bell.

Are we in the letter now? Yeah. We're just preessing it. Oh, it did. It's just amazing. You've even reading a letter like, we're looking at the fucking page afterwards and I'll be blank and we'll be like,

oh my god, what happened? He's been defending the letters the whole time. They were never real. And even if that. Nobody likes damn. This isn't even a messier episode than normal. Mark Messier. In one episode, Elliot.

I just love just taunting my brother, yeah. Elliot referred to the episode of Save by the Bell or SBTB as we bellheads like to call it. Billons. Yeah, that's good, yeah. Where's Zach? Where's Zach finds out that he's 164th Native American. He says that there's no B plot, which is super weird

because the B plot is so much crazier than the A plot. Holy shit dudes, no way. What was the B plot? I don't remember. In it, Jesse Spano, environmentist liberal lady, finds out that she's 164th slave fucking traitor, apparently her great grandparents or whatever captioned slave ship. She spends the whole episode trying to make it up to Lisa Turtle who is black by, I don't know, carrying our books to some shit. Oh yeah, I remember that.

Lisa Turtle weirdly doesn't seem to care at all. It's wicked mockers. Ryan last name with help. Well, why would Lisa Turtle care? No. She's very wealthy. Yeah. Come on, her family were probably slave owners too.

And in a way, in a way she has enslaved screech with the power of love. With her siren song. The sweetest slavery. She says, oh, sweet turtle, that was singest so well. Pulled myself into thine shell, but taking it you, I will share those tight confines until the end of time. That's the end of the couplet that he wrote her. But thank you for that. I guess slow and steady may win the race, Sweet turtle, but I show in your heart.

So the Jack rabbit, though, I will jack off to your picture in the yearbook, love screech. Those couple of it were also reappropriated for the entourage TV show. Sweetest turtle. Greatest of all the four dudes or five dudes I don't remember. Well, everybody there are in the entourage. How backwards now, Capist?

Now once it's worked out, but now I find that I wait has much droppeth. So stupid. How goest thine to key love business? So this last letter, dear flop house management, I'm running you to inquire about your flop house rates. How much does it cost for a bed for the night and do you require payment in advance? I am a little tramp who has been looking after an adoptive kid for the past five years. I'm currently on the run from the authorities after they showed up at our house and tried to take the kid to an orphanage.

Fortunately, they climbed over some rooftops and jumped down to beat the guy in the back of their truck and thus I successfully outweighed them. Hopefully your flop house can not provide us with a reasonably priced bed for the night and won't try to kidnap the kid to get the $1,000 reward for the police station. If your flop house doesn't allow children, that's okay, as I can see in through the side window when you're not looking. I hope you are kind and sympathetic flop house. And that our shenanigans will bring a smile to your heart and perhaps a tear and you will not be tempted to turn us into the authorities for the ample Award you would receive. I anxiously await your reply.

You're as most truly Charlie last name withheld. P.S. Do not read this letter out loud because it's only 1921 and talking has not been invented yet. I think we were just fan fictions guys. Yeah. The Fictionist. Yep.

That was a fan fiction for the movie Dutch, right? Starring it O'Neal. Yeah. They start out, those two start out at odds. Yeah. But then I learned a respect one of the other guy. I'm sure once you start showing in those nudie cards that he has with him. I remember that part.

That was the kid. Mm-hmm. Bill is a kid. He's the kid. It was Disney's the kid starting Bruce Willis has the grown up version of the kid. With like an airplane. I have to assume that the state of Charlie Chaplin was like, Disney, you're not calling that movie the kid.

Call it Disney's the kid. Yeah, there's an airplane and stuff. And for some reason, I think they're playing Wild Wild West in the soundtrack and the commercials. Yeah. That's one of the many movies that I have a very distinct memory of like the DVD cover or two. I have no idea what the movie is about at all. So, have the one where there's angels in the outfield? No, you're thinking of Fletch. So,'re you're you're thinking of the one with a rookie of the year. Yeah, yeah, that's why I am thinking when he was the rookie in the little big league. Yeah, exactly. And there's that orangutan, the plays baseball.

It was a chimpanzee. The orangutan. What are you talking about? Okay. He checked in. No, wait, Dunston was a chimpanzee too. You can, Dunston can check in, but he can never check out. Oh no, for you to kill Dunston. The big green. Anyway, that was another kid sports movie. So, thank you to all of the letter writers. I, we appreciate it. May your pens ever be filled with ink.

May your computers ever be able to type letters on them. I thought Stuart's was much more eloquent. Finds more accurate. You laughed at me. I take it back now. I take it back. So this is the last segment of the podcast where we recommend movies. It's called Sleepy Dreams.

That's where we discuss what we'll be dreaming about tonight. Okay. I'm gonna dream that we're all in a rock and roll band. But the lead singer is my toddler son. Okay. He's the biggest sensation superstar, but I still have to cut up his food for him. I'm gonna dream that we live inside a sandwich,

the giant eats. No, that's right, mate. It's gonna be very scary. I guess the trick will be to eat as much of the sandwiches as I can before the giants teeth mush me into paste. So I'll get a little bit of enjoyment. Look, if I'm gonna die now, my last moment will be spent full of sandwich.

I'm taking you with me, giant. Bang, bang, bang. You would shrug off those bullets. No, but he's firing him from inside his mouth. Yeah, that's right. Oh, okay, that would be pretty good. Little shop of horse style. I mean, I didn't work in that, but.'s a giant in that movie. It's called the giant

versus the little shop of horse. It makes the shop look that much littler. So this is the part of the podcast we're recommending to movie we actually like as opposed to Jim and the holograms. I'm going to recommend a movie that's kind of along the same theme. It's called Gem in the holograms. So all you cow-pokes and cowgirls out there, I'm going to recommend a movie called Slow West. Now Slow West is a little Western movie. It's the movie with the robot with the holograms in slow-est. Yeah.

So Slow West came out last year. There was a robot with holograms. It's a artsy little western movie. And it follows a love sick young man who is on his way west after the love of his life who is a scott who has run off to the west with her father running from the law. And he falls in with a grim bounty hunter with a mysterious pass played by one, a Michael Aspender. Along the way, they run into a variety of interesting characters, including the guy whose name just slipped out of my head, but was great in bloodline and some other stuff.

And it is a movie that has kind of a grim but interesting sense of humor and it's shot well and it's acted well and I would recommend it if you're looking for a western that is a little bit different. I rewatched a movie recently that I've seen several times before, but still held up like gang busters, and that is Miller's Crossing, the coming brothers film, that is one of my favorites. It is a movie that the first time I saw it, that is one of my favorites. It is a movie that the first time I saw it, I was less than impressed by, but I think it's a movie that you have to watch

once kind of to just understand what's happening in it. And because it's got a very convoluted plot and you have to sort of figure out what everyone's motivations for doing everything is. But once you have that, you can focus on the characters. You can speculate about what deeper emotions are under the surface of each of the characters in each of the scenes as they make the choices that they make. And it's a very violent movie. It's a very exciting movie. It's based on, it's a noir based in part on the glass key.

And also I think a little bit on red harvest. A lot of red harvest in there. And it's the General Dashel Hammett Uvra. Yeah. But I recommended quite a lot. It's a very sort of poetic movie for being a gangster film. And it's beautifully shot among other things. I remember who I was thinking of his name is Ben Mendelssohn. Yeah. I'm going to recommend a movie that I feel is on similar themes to Gem in the holograms. It is also about women coming of age in a way after dealing with the death of a father

and having to live with an aunt. It's called Kriya Quervos, directed by Carlos Sora, and it's from the mid-70s. And it's about these three sisters, the middle sister is eight years old, and she's the main character. And her father dies, and they're sent to live with an aunt who's trying to take care of them best as she can, but she's having trouble because the middle sister is really still grieving for the death of their mother, which happened a little bit earlier. And she is kind of drifting through life and has a number of strange experiences. She has kind of visions of her mother speaking to her. And she finds a lot of

solace in this one pop song called Prokete Vos. Not a called a, yeah, Prokete Voss, that plays a couple times and is very catchy. But it's a real like, one of these movies from the 70s where I feel like there was this international explosion for whatever reason. In movies that kind of captured what it feels like to be a child at various, either happy or unhappy points in your life.

And this is one of those. And I really liked it a lot. And it kind of captured for me what it is like to be a young child who is not connecting with the world around them. There's a lot in it that's also allegorical about Spain under Franco in the 70s. But we don't really have to get into that. That's nothing. That's you can watch it. Let's dig into it. I can't. The devil's backbone. Kind of except that's set in the 30s, isn't it? Yeah, I think you're right.

But you don't have to know anything about Spanish history to get something out of it. It just kind of, things are the movie might make more sense to you. But it was really good. And I recommend it. Kriya Quaribos. So, we did it. Come to the end of the video. Next time. This is a perfect episode. No flubs, no jobs.

Not a single job. Except for just now when you said the word job. That was the first flood. Oh wow. Okay. So 98%. That's not bad. That was 98. That was 2% of all the words said in the episode. Was the word job because we said 50 words. We're known for being tight. Tighten concise. This almost an hour and a half long podcast.

Some of that. So you can go to a feature-length film just put on this podcast and it would be be like when What's that band? You like so much the flaming lips do that song that lay you like so much Where you go to that microcosmos and just put on their record and you're like this great Yeah, you should go to a movie that's about 90 minutes long. Pretend this is the DVD commentary. And see how it matches up. I mean, really only bridge the gym in the holograms. See, but not only barely.

I had a lot of those movies, not about letters. I don't understand what they're talking about. See if you can find a movie where it's like a dark side of the moon, Wizard of Oz, where it matches up perfectly. Or Microcosmos, which I just talked about. Okay. The bug documentary? Yeah, yeah, that's what the flaming lips did.

I didn't know that. Oh, really? Yeah, that isn't soft bulletin, supposed to be, supposed to match up with my girlfriend. I prefer my lips inflatable. Oh, damn. The balls in your glory. I gotta check out that microcosmos thing,

because 420 dude. Oh, you're still bleeding. Oh, dang buds. Oh, he's not too high to call back. Yeah, good night everyone. I'm in Dan McCoy. Oh, I'm still still in Wellington. And I think I'm really, Kaelin, let me check, yes.

I wrote my name on the label of my Mac Weldon underpants. Good night everyone. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Sandeel, in what dimension would you not be at eyes? I don't know, the first dimension? Wait, which is Flatland. Flatland is 2D, right? Yeah, I guess. Maybe it's, no, maybe it's, no, I think it's 2D, yeah. Man, aren't you are gonna be a fucking problem.

It's just about arching. Archie, get down. Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture, artist owned. Listen or supported. I'm Allegro Ringo, a dog owner, and I'm Renee Colbert, a dog water, and we host a show called Can I Pick Your Dog? The podcast for unapologetic dog lovers.

You can find us every Tuesday on maximumfund.org or on iTunes. So, now, what is this? Is it just a podcast where all we do is talk about dogs? Yeah, sort of. We definitely have a segment called Dogs We Met This Week, where we tell you about, you know, dogs we met this week. We also have a segment called Dog Heroes,

as well as Cool Dog Tech and Stupid Dog Tech. We also have a segment called Dog Heroes, as well as Cool Dog Tech and Stupid Dog Tech. We also have some of your favorite celebrities, Lin-Manuel Miranda, who did Hamilton has been a guest with Gut Leslie Margarita. We've had Nicole Byer and Wheaton, all the best dog related celebrities. So check us out every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org or on iTunes. Can I pet your dog? Can I pet your dog? Renee and Allegra. Say I P.I.D.

Yeah!