The Flop House - Ep. #201 - Vice

Episode Date: April 2, 2016

With the glamour and horror of our 200th/MaxFun Drive episode behind us, we return to meat-and-potatoes flophousery with the little seen sci-fi actioner Vice, starring Flop House repeat offenders Thomas Jane and Bruce Willis. Meanwhile, Elliott explains the risks of marrying Shannon Tweed, Dan takes a fantasy trip to the set of the sitcom Wings, and Stuart makes a shocking leap ahead in Radio Zork Movies recommended in this episode: Green Room10 Cloverfield LaneThe Forbidden Room

On tonight's episode we watched a movie called... Vice... Is Twice. As Nice. As Nice. It's actually not that much better than Lice. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey guys, I'm Stuart Wellington. Hey, this is Ellie Kaelin. So you seem kind of dating. What's up?

Let's talk about it. Let me turn my chair around. I hate to interrupt the show, but I have some business I want to go over. I had a paper ready to pull out of his. This seems less spontaneous. I know what it was. Okay, let me get my voice ready. Dear cruel world. Dear cruel world. How are you so cool? If Hollywood, if Hollywood, that's what they add said. But what my paper says is the statues arm rotates easily

in a section of wall slides to the left. Do you a enter the secret hallway, B, wait and do nothing, or C, use item butler's mask. There you have it. Wow, after many weeks of no movement on radio, Zorak, apparently we have left ahead through a time portal. Was that radio Zork? Yeah that was a radio Zork. So he's in the house at a hallway which he... I mean you haven't been following obviously on our on our other podcast so we've been doing that Dan keeps editing out of this podcast. Oh the adventure Zork? Yeah. We're not we don't we don't know the rules that well. We love doing it. Yeah. Now I'm worried that that was some sort of elaborate terrorist code.

They turn out to be in a sleeper cell or something. He does look pretty sleepy. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And his body is made of cells. Yep. Take him away, boys. Uh-huh.

Do you think sleeper cells use a lot of sleeping bags? You know how they say there's got a bunch of questions. You're with me with that. Yeah, people say there are there's only one stupid question where you asked it. You found it. Nobody's ever said that to me. You won the prize. I won the prize. Okay, so what do I get? You're subscription to Radio Zork. Yeah, that's right.

Okay, guys, so as Dan mentioned, that was a section from tonight's game of Radio Zork, right in with your answers to the flop house. And I don't know email.com. Right into radiozork at flop house dot edu slash gov times 11 sponsored is always by sweet amazing penises. They're the sweetest and the most amazing penises on the market today. Oh boy, let me get my hands on one of those sweet amazing penises. Penises is the way grandma used to make.

So, yeah, I'm sorry for interrupting the show guys, but it is episode 201. Just like, I don't know, I can't come up with a joke. 201 is space Odyssey. The area code I grew up with. That's right. Just like 201 is space Odyssey. It's an astronaut, we'll be setting the year 201. Yeah, because technically we're all in space all the time.

Guys. Wow. Well, that's the level of depth that one would expect from a movie like Vice. A movie we watched tonight. Yeah, we watched. Hey, folks, this is a podcast. Today, what do we do on this podcast? We watch it.

We watch it. We watch it. We watch it. We watch it. We watch it. We watch it. We watch itic options and misgetting the names. If someone had not, if this is the first episode of this show for some people, radio sork will have baffled them entirely and they will have turned off, they will drag this podcast to the delete can.

And on their ear, thanks. On their ear thing. They will drag it over to, there's the trash can and there's the trash with extreme prejudice can. They put it in that one. There's the trash can icon and there's the hell icon. You drag programs you're mad at too. Yeah, and it sends an email to us,

the creators of that program and. That says, TiskTisk. You got to be a good person. I'm not be continuing my listening. You should stop doing your podcast. I'm like, I guess that makes sense. So Dan, what are we doing this podcast? We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

And tonight we watch the movie that I'm pretty sure that it was a movie, I think, 1% perhaps 1% of our listenership has even heard of. I know I hadn't before we started watching it. It was called Vice. Vice. Vice. Not Miami Vice, although it looked like it was Miami Not the vice

Magazine no not vice-land the TV channel that stole the name of our podcast How to take We're coming for you vice-land They're gonna find out they clearly don't know we exist. Yeah, where are they gonna do just make another show with our name? They're gonna find out they clearly don't know we exist. Yeah, what are they gonna do? Just make another show with our names. Yeah, the laugh house is gonna get canceled and then they're gonna just put up a show

that's called Three Guys Watching A Bad Movie and then talking about it. But it's not actually gonna be bad that it's gonna be about like Syria or something. Or they'll do a show with three guys, three idiots watching a movie and talking about it and they'll call it like the shitty loser. They'll do impressions of us that are really not flattering.

I'm alley it. I'm the nerdy one. Oh, it's me stewart. No, you're supposed to do Dan and then he does me. Dan is just hanging from the ceiling and his news could be killed himself. Because our impressions were so good. Anyway, vice stars big names like Bruce Willis and Thomas Jane. Tom S. Jane. And yet, Tom.

Tommy Jane. Tommy Jane. He's a flop house veteran at this point. Right. He's been at least one other one. He was in Drive Hard. Yeah. He was in High Frankenstein, right?

No. No, that's the other guy. That's Karen Eckhart. Karen Eckhart. Karen Eckhart. Karen Eckhart's monster. Yeah. They should do a movie Eckhart's monster. Yeah. They should do a movie where they are brothers.

They're boring brothers. Yeah, let's call it the boring brothers movie. Actually, it's a big thing. I mean, they could easily be in a, like a twin brothers, separated birth, and they both are cops, ones a straight edge cop that be in our car. And then we have our like Lucy Goosey plays by his own rules cop. That would be played by Dina Vito. And Tom is Jane would be his, I guess boyfriend because we're trying to be pretty progressive.

Because it's about time that people of different sexual orientations were represented in classic film genres. Yep. Twin brothers, both cops. Classic. sexual orientations were represented in classic film genres. Twins Brothers both cops. Classic film genres like boring twins. So here's and also really starring in the movie is Amber Childers. That's Amber with a Y. Amber spelled to the Y, not like the Chronicles of Amber.

What are they just called the Amber Chronicles? What? You know that Robert Robert Silverberg series? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mentioned a fantasy series. I assume it would be all over that. It's also not spelled like the Chronicles of Narnia, because they're two different words.

Who did I say wrote that? Probably Roger's the last name. I think it was the last name, yeah. I think I, in my head, I get Silverberg and the last name makes it. I think it's the last name. Anyone? It doesn't. Am I right? I think I had I get silver bergens the last name makes I think it's the last name. It doesn't. Am I right? Mom, mom right in with the correct answer.

So it really starts Amber Childers and here's what I'll tell you what this movie is. Shilders of the corn. It is that this movie is Westworld for a new generation. Hey, in the olden days, people might have been excited by fantasies of being a cowboy and going to the Old West and being in a gun fight. But nowadays, we know what the real fantasies are, going somewhere where you can rape and murder women

with immunity, welcome to vice. A place with no rules. What's your robot, this is lots of fun. Yeah, no wrong, just right. Yep. It's kind robot? This is lots of stuff. Yeah, there's no wrong, just right. Yep. It's kind of like an outback. The food is delicious. The food is delicious.

The food is delicious. They have this onion. You could be shy that you can then rape and murder. So, so Bruce Willis is the guy who run, he's the Ed Harrison Truman show. We named Jillian Michaels. Named Julian Michaels. Which, but everyone pronounced it. Everyone pronounced it as if it was Julian Michaels.

The first five times someone said their name, we were all like, Jillian Michaels. We're like, Jillian is a weird first name for a man, but okay, but that's a real woman's name already. Where's this body, Buston workout that I've heard so much about? Why is he not throwing the tables full of perfectly good food over to make a point? Screenwriter of Vice, like, was really mad. Like, he tried to do the Jillian Michaels workout and did work for him.

He's like, I'm going to get back at her. I'm going to make, uh, ruggedly hand some Bruce Willis carry her namesake into the picture. This is going to be the biggest take down of a fitness person since my last movie, The Crimes of Bailey Blanks. Ty Bo. So this movie takes place in the future, right? It does. It takes place an uncertain amount of time in the future. And an uncertain location that's probably Tampa.

It looks like Tampa. It looks like Florida, specifically Tampa. And we know that it's far enough in the future that one, there is cyborg technology that allows you to create killable, rapeable women robots. And that there's a theme part of that. There's a dude robots too, right? I mean, there are, but they aren't really, all that they're just extra.

They're just like, yeah, it's like 90% man-common device. You gotta believe, right? Yeah, but once again, progressive, like do what you wanna do, man, if you wanna rape and kill a dude, you can do that there too. There's probably a lot of guys who, thanks for the permission.

There's probably, I mean, that's not legally binding permission. Wait, it's not the purge tonight? No, it's never the purge. Aw. But, like, he's asking you, what's the purge is doing? He said I could say, there's nothing. He said it's his sad.

You keep like, like, shroder. You're wondering how many shopping days there are till the purge. But, uh, so, but like Stuart said during the purge episode, this is another one of those movies where they posit a fantasy thing that doesn't exist and then show you why it's bad. Yeah, they present like a negative utopia and then the whole time you're like, why do we do these Hunger Games?

Oh, I wish they make a good point. We shouldn't have a theme park where people rape and kill robots. Yeah. Yeah. Obama. But so like, so. And like, there's always, I mean, this one actually makes a little more sense than other

ones. Like one what movie? What is what is represented by the word one? This this a vision of the future social structure where it's like the idea is like, okay, maybe if they've got a place where they can get out all of their bed and like their bed instincts like what's called their yaya's yeah, they can get their yaya's out Maybe they won't take it outside of the of that you know, yeah Yeah, you if you create a it's

Whereas when we're Stuart and I were talking about the Hunger Games yesterday and we're talking about how like There's no direct line you can draw from like, the fact that these kids have to kill each other too. Social unrest doesn't happen. Well, it's a way of the government showing how perilous the people of the different districts are. Yeah, I know, but... Will their children could just be taken from them?

It just doesn't have like the same like direct, like, I don't know, like, I'm just like, really, and the sad how that thing's gonna shake down? So vice is better than Hunger Games. That's right. That is better than Hunger Games. Don't go see Hunger Games, go see vice is Dan McCoy. It's the best movie ever made.

Sir J. Eisenstein, eat your heart out. Put that on the VHS box, dude. VHS box. Put that on the Sega CD box. Wait you watch movies on Sega CD? I mean, it's a place. I mean, I mean, I trap a sort of movie. Can we watch Super Shark tonight? It's got those, you know, it's all cut scenes. So it's, I mean, that's, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's about as much of a movie as Mr. Payback is.

I mean, Mr. Payback was not a movie either. It was an experiment in story telling. They're both huge, you're on adventure movies. Mr. Payback was the dark, gritty inspector gadget that our generation needed. So are you allergic to your own cat, Dan? I have been sick for a long time. He's been like dying for the last four episodes,

Elliot, I haven't even paying attention. Not really. Sickness just will not leave my body. That's not so good. I need an exorcist sickness. You mean like a doctor? Yeah. I need one of those exorcists for viruses.

Or we should get Eric Bannon in here. Like he is character from Deliverus and Meevil. Or chopper. Chopper, yep. Anyway, so, but you make a good point, Dan. Often in society, we show that certain behaviors are not acceptable by creating safe zones in which they are acceptable and then separate distancing. The same way that say like...

Lost Vegas. Yeah, exactly. Well, like, Lost Vegas or... Sure. Senior frogs. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. New year. Halloween. Well, on Halloween and New Year's Eve, people told you behaviors that... Silver Shamrock, etc.

The rest of the year, or like, Marty Gras. By allowing that kind of behavior at Marty Gras, we're saying is, this is okay today because it's a special occasion. It is not okay on other days. So you can say the vice park is saying like, by saying it's okay within the limits of this convention center slash airport waiting lobby, which seemed to be where the movie took place. We are saying it's not okay outside, but we're at some point in the future where whatever this Tampa-like city is that's around vice, their main industry seems to be barrel fires and like, and shadowy fog over abandoned buildings.

Mars beneath elevated trains. Yeah. Like, when Gary Limeros. Shadowee silhouettes moving in like a steamy dark alleyway, which by the way, I think Dan's apartment is probably conducive to that because your radiator is making a ton of noise right now. Sorry. If you have any background noise.

Unless that's the cyanide gas that the Japanese occupiers from the Man of the High Castle are sending in to kill us to get information out of our brother Man on the high castle the book or the TV show TV show is much better. Oh, okay. Yeah So anyway, so speaking of books. This is a lot like a William Gibson for great guys It's not even like a Dean Jacking your brain into the cyber into the Weber space. Yeah, we got.

Whoa. That's what the Weber. Have you ever seen the long Weber man? You get the chance to feel what it's really like to shoot an episode of wings. This is the fantasy. I mean, that's the first Oculus program I'm putting in is wings 2.0. Yep. You get to go up to Thomas Hayden Church and what's his face? Who?

Yep. Oh, it's his face. To Mali. To Mali? Oh. To be like Lou. You guys are going to be big stars in the future. Well, not you as much Thomas Hayden Church, but you're going to be in movies.

He was, wasn't he like nominated for an Oscar for like sideways? Yeah. A lot of people have been nominated for Oscars. Yeah No, that was the old prospect for Also an Oscar story of more of a like a new Englander No one's been nominated for an Oscar out here for about 40 years. That was that was Turner Classic movies Next film Not unless anything about a time's head church of all the actors who later married I'm not gonna say anything about a Tom's head in church of all the actors who later married actresses

from South Corporn films, he's my favorite. Oh, who did he marry? An actress named Miyazatali, I think is her name. I don't know that. And Gene Simmons never technically married Shannon Tweed, right? There just like, they're in this like weird thing. I mean, it's not a weird thing, it's common law.

Yeah, but I don't know. It feels like. Look, they saw what happened to Helen Hunt in Angus area. You get married in your relationship. I shouldn't judge. I shouldn't judge Gene Simmons. I mean, Gene Simmons knows that if he marries her, he's suddenly gonna be in a web of deceit and desire.

That's true. Because of her successful practice as a sex therapist who watches people have sex through a two-way marriage. Is that the one where she's married to George Hamilton? They're all the one where she's a sex therapist who watches people have sex through a two-way whittin mirror. Is that the one where she's married to George Hamilton? They're all the one where she's a sex therapist married to George Hamilton. It's called Indecent Illusions of the Night Eyes. Instincts for.

Of course she's gonna sleep around. He spends all his time in that tanning bed. Mm-hmm. George, come to bed. I am in bed. Not that's not what I meant, George. You do. Be more specific next time.

Pulse the lids out. So this movie vice, it's set in not, it's like Westworld, it's the future, there's a theme park where you can act out your fantasies, but only your gross fantasies of attacking women and having sex with them. Usually it seems in the scenes we see against their wishes, which is gross. Yeah. It seems to be a haven for dudes and business suits with kind of greasy shoulder length hair. Yeah. Thomas Jane is a police officer who doesn't like this place. Also has greasy shoulder length hair. He has very greasy, very long hair and he mumbles the shit out of his lines.

If you want to see Thomas Jane try and mumble his lines through a match that he has stuck in his crawl the whole time. Yeah, old crawl. His performance here is not as fun as it was in a drive-hards, but it is a cousin to that performance and that it's very twitchy and muttery and mumbly and he has long stringy. No, don't get me wrong. I like a good mumble performance. Mumble core. It's a mumble core film. It's gonna be the first mumble gorm sci fi action film.

I mean, except computer chess. Yeah, that's you're probably right. But I mean, like I like real action. There's chess action. One of the characters is propositioned by some swingers. I mean, that's action. All right.

I mean, is there a reason? I mean, is there a reason? If you're only propositioned. I mean, he's action. All right. I mean, is it the exact if you're only propositioned? I mean, he skips that on the actual action. Yeah. But I mean, like, I like a, like, a Tom Hardy mumble performance. Yeah, yeah. I mean, Tom Hardy usually has a reason for his mumbleing. And they, I feel like they've made a bit like him. I'm better.

So I'm going to sit try to do this plot as quickly as possible, because it's really dumb. It's barely any. Thomas Jane is a cop. He doesn't like vice. He goes in to catch an escaped rapist of a real person and gets him and arrest him, but I get him and try to talk to us. And the guy's like, you can't arrest me. I can do whatever I want here, pig. Yeah.

And he goes, when you rape and kill someone in my world, I come after you. And it's like, well, your world is just the world. It turns out prime. These people are... Do you mention that the movie opens with the silliest bank robbery ever? The opening scene of this movie, I was like, this is going to be a fun movie and then nothing lived up. The camera does not stop spinning around.

One dude jumps up on a counter and just kicks somebody in the face. Kicks a woman in the face for no reason. And the whole thing is, I mean, this movie is shot with way too much camera movement to begin with. The camera's always swimming around. And the only thing that made me enjoy it was just thinking about when people are trying to act.

Somebody with a steady cam strap, their chest, just kind of like hovering around them and like dancing around. And it must be like when you're on the subway trying to read a book and you hear show time, show time. And two kids start swinging around and kicking you almost in the face like that But it's a guy with a camera just kind of Pulse a crumpled down around his pocket so they don't bully him never I've never given Me those guys I will not move from where I'm standing and I don't give them money. Okay

Because you're not a patron of the art trying to're trying to use their talents to get out of poverty. Forget it. Not interested. They're not, they're not, they're not, Cullen Candy for no basketball team. It's to stay out of trouble. Which sounds like a, that sounds like a threat. This, this is all very New York specific at this point.

But look, I mean, I didn't know I did all the New York stuff out. Yeah, yeah. I added that stuff out that I said about Thomas Hayden who just marriageed to. Okay. But even when I asked you to edit it out, so people wonder what I'm talking about.

All right. Now anyway, he gets in trouble with his boss. At vice, there's a bunch, it turns out they're all cyborgs that are human organs and human flesh and blood to make them more realistic for the killing, but they have computer brains. And every night when the robots get killed,

their memories are erased. Thanks to a Robo bracelet. Yes, and that helps them track them whatever they're going. But Amber Childers, who is programmed to be a bartender who is leaving her job as a bartender that night. Yeah, who looks like Prius from Blade Runner got a job as a bartender. Amber Childers, by the way,

sounds like a third level Marvel character, the best friend of one of the superheroes. She is one of these characters who would be the best friend of a superhero who then becomes a detective. And now 30 years after her introduction, or 40 years, she has her own comic and she is Spider-Man or Iron Man or some.

Yeah. Because every character in the Marvel Universe has to eventually become an Avenger, or 40 years. Has her own. She has her own comic and she's Spider-Man or Iron Man or some shit. Because every character in the Marvel Universe has to eventually become an Avenger, a mutant, or an Iron Man. Why are you guys staring at me? You look like you're a bad person. I was just going to say that Amber Childers, if you add an extra L, would be the name of like a washed up has been scream queen in the scream play I'm writing. Okay. So that's the news.

So it's right in the screen like. Amber, you're children. Yeah, chill dress. No, then she's halfway to being an Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Rees, my favorite actress is Amber, chill dress. Mm-hmm. She's not- I can go back in time and just add that to the movie.

And then everyone will be like, that actress doesn't have a career, I don't understand. She's just like a teenager now. Yep, and then they're all frozen in place. Well, they puzzle out that pony maze. Unfortunately, Amber Childress' robot waitress has a panic attack. When for some reason, she remembers the murder

she was the victim of the night before. She gets brought back to have a memory double erased. She breaks loose and she gets out. And the course of the night before. She gets brought back to have a memory double erased. She breaks loose and she gets out. And the course of the double erase memory, like they were like, we have to flood you with all the memories that you had before and then we'll raise them. And by one, the one computer tech

who's kind of a sadist. He's very much a sadist. Instead of having an additional security guy who they're like, all the other security guys are down the hall watching dudes dance with naked robot ladies. So he's all by himself. So she wakes up and kicks him twice into a spark wall.

And do a spark wall. He dies. Yeah. And a lot of the walls in this convention center turned into a movie set are covered with just occasional fluorescent bulbs. Like it's like the walls of a, like a dance party or like the max in Save By The Bell. The whole thing is lit like the hallway

between the main area of a club and the bathrooms. Like the whole movie is lit with just exposing the on bulbs from like flashing lights. Or the, like a tunnel that you have to go through on the moving, the people mover in an airport. Yeah, it's like if you've ever been out like in the the stair ramps at a airport or a convention center and you're like this would be a badass place for blade to kill some vampires. Well, this directorates the game though.

Well, that's like wasn't it was like Alphaville the G'dard film where it's like I'm just gonna use a bunch of like modern looking buildings Sand to get the future. Yeah, and this is like the really cheap bad version of that Like was like I'm gonna Yeah, that was in G'dard's blade Trinity. That's right That's right in G'dard's alpha bit So she escapes, but not after someone fires a ton of grenades that are ever grenade. And this is one hot dog with a grenade launcher.

The security guards are constantly firing their guns at everything. She escapes, she gets out into the real world. And this probably just a wall got blown open by a grenade. This is her, it stops being Westworld and it starts being parts of the clonest horror slash the island with Scarlet Johansson. And she's out and about. She's attacked by a guy. She's threatening.

She's down about, she's painting the town red. She goes on a big shopping spree. The police are want to investigate why there was a bunch of shooting going on at vice, but they can't because they don't have jurisdiction and the security camera was erased, whatever. It doesn't matter. Thomas James on the case.

Meanwhile, she- And like you realize that like his police chief is super corrupt, you can tell because he's got weirdly long hair that's like slicked back all gross. Yeah, he has James K. Polk hair. Yeah. He looks like the unfrozen caveman lawyer who became the police commissioner or the DA or something and here's something

I want to mention if anyone watches vice in any of the police station scenes and also most of the other scenes Watch the extras because the extras are hilarious Everyone in the back of every scene or sometimes in the foreground is having a very gestural Conversation it's like they told all the extras always be talking and be talking as big as possible. He's supposed to look like a real conversations. Well, you can walk down that hallway or you could jump slash run.

Yeah. Check your watch. Always check your watch. Always be gesturing the things. The extras are great. Talk as if you're a Italian stereotype explaining your pizza sauce. No, don't talk with the bottom of your head. Talk with the top of your head.

Talk with your whole body, body talk. So the, well, so she's escaped. The vice has sent, it's security guards after and there's a series of shoot-em-ups. She makes sure. There's a great scene where she is accosted by a creep in the real world with a knife. That creep and then they're surrounded by dudes with machine guns. That creep

looks at his knife and he's like, I got this one and he charges them only to be shot down immediately. Many times. She, uh, there's a great, they don't know these dumpster-filled streets like I know them. These, these, these tin cans filled with flame. And the paper beads rock. I bet knife beads guns. Oh, he looked at me. They have two guys with guns that cancels each other out. My knife will be. I probably just shoot each other. There's a great scene right after that where the people who are tracking her for vice,

one of them is a, he's a robot too, it's revealed. But he's like Bruce Willis' right hand man. And he decides to quote, I know I the Cagebird Singsder. And that's a trigger some kind of memory in her head, right? I think it's just pretentious. Is it like in the hundred bullets comic where you just say, Croatowa, that was a lie, but it's like, I'm gonna become Super Assassins. Yeah, exactly.

We got really weird when you just started doing Casey at the bat. I didn't understand. And then all these Calvin Trillin poems, it was like, they're not funny necessarily. They're just gonna like clever, you know? And so she's on the run. She makes her way to a church that she saw in a dream where a man who...

Yeah, she sketched it for us earlier in a scene that was very clear. She sketched it terribly. Yeah, like a normal movie would have had have made it look like she was sketching and then they had an artist actually draw the fire guy Davis to draw that thing in an insert. I mean, there is a million out of work cartoonists or underpaid cartoonists who would be happy to sketch a shitty church. I mean, all underpaid cartoon Get overpaid cartoonists. Get Jim Davis to do it.

I guess it was realistic in that, like, you know, most people can't draw. And it was like, okay, well, this is a little ladies, you can't draw. And certainly, why would they throw a rent for a robot to be a modern day, remember? You can. She'll draw this,

she'll draw this church as if it's just a box that's falling apart. I mean, now to be fair, the church on the outside does look like a box. And for some reason it has a sphinx outside of it which i don't know what church has a sphinx outside except in ancient Egyptian temple i mean it's the future it can look like anything to you right that's why you thought there was a stargate inside the church i assume there was a stargate because i saw a while old sculpture out front now here's

the thing maybe there's a prologue they cut, in which case, great, I hate prologues to movies, where it's explained that this was a society that where Christianity fell out of favor, and raw and dozyris and the gods of an ISIS are now worshiped. And that's what led to the downfall of America, you know. Yep, and you could, and you could live, you could go to vice and live out your fantasy

of throwing dead bodies to feed alligators for so back. Yeah, we're finally getting your heart weighed against a feather by a new vis. Yeah. I think we've covered all the Egyptian mythology references we previously made on this podcast. Yeah, that's true. One of others is, okay, my real fantasy is I always want to be a dumb beetle that pushes the sun across the sky. Welcome to Egypt worlds. So she goes in and she finds that this is now the hideout slash sanctuary of the scientist who invented the robots and who it turns out patterned her on his dead wife who died of cancer. That's creepy.

He seems pretty upset that she's been repurposed as a sex and murder droid, but to be fair, why did you invent this? And then I guess, Selva as a sex and murder droid, but to be fair, why did you invent this? And then I guess, sell the patents to sex and murder work. Yeah, this was a part of the movie I wasn't paying that. Yeah, this is tension. Literally where we all started, just. If you had a graph, believe it, to flopper's attention.

It's really the point that the line would go from just dipping to a precipitous drop. Yeah, it would go below zero to negative 24. Two, we are actively talking about things other than the movie. Yeah, where I'm like Hulk Hogan did what? How much is the court of working in? Yeah, where's my eyeballs pop out of my head and I spend the next 20 minutes pushing them back in. Like this, not 20 minutes.

Dude, I gotta be delicate, they're my eyeballs. I only have them back in. Like this, not. I'm gonna be delicate. They're my balls. I only have two of them. It's not the gocker result. It's not the ruling that you're excited about. It's the sex tape. The whole code you did what? Yeah, I saw it and I see it.

I saw the girl. I saw the gocker article about that. And then I followed links to the deeper story. Links from Sonic the Hedgehog? No, the links game system. Oh, okay. Why there's no links in Sonic the Hedgehog theme of Tails. I like that it's specific.

And you're going to get so many angry letters from Sonic the Hedgehog. I corrected myself. The Sonic restaurant chain does not have any sausage links, Elliot. Sue stands corrected. So just let's cut to the chase. In that they're chasing everybody throughout the whole. There's a lot of chasing. The bad guys catch up with, well, the girl robot who's escaped Amber Childers or woman

robot, she has given a new identity by a friend of the scientist. He says I could also upgrade you. She says, nah, never mind. She goes, try to get you. Which was an odd moment. That was the moment where we're like, what's going on movie? Of course she needs an upgrade.

Yeah, and she is about to escape her husband, her, the husband of her original is gonna help her. He gets killed in a shootout with the bad guys. Thomas Jane kills all the bad guys. He says, hey, you could run away, I'd let you, but why don't you help me take down vice? They go back to the guy's friend and she says, I need an upgrade.

This upgrade consistently, I think, of giving her a leather jacket and wetting her hair. Her hair slicks back. Yeah, and that's about it, because- It's got a little more eye makeup, maybe. Her plan seems to be to check in at vice. Then she's going to steal a gun from a guard, just walk into the lab.

It's like anytime I play a video game where you have to be stealthy, where the first guy, I'll try, I'll kill one guy stealthy and then just run around to get murdered. It's basically that. She goes to Bruce Willis's office, but the guns are programmed not to kill her,

because why not let's steal a little bit from Robocop too for this movie. Meanwhile, it turns out I guess maybe she was just a diversion because Thomas Jane has a blast of shitload of dudes. He just gets a machine gun. Get some machine gun and forces a tech guy to upload a virus that gives all the robots, all their memories, and they go into herky jerky uplifting seizures. For some reason, this makes all the regular patrons run around going nuts and fires get started.

I guess some people would have had. A couple of those robots, if you get within like grab and range, they do all kinds of shit. But they're kind of like zombies. It's like if you get close enough to one that they kill you, that's partly you. Because getting all their memories immediately also makes them

walk really strange. Yeah. And go like, but, it's my time to show. I had performance anxiety, but now no one's here to watch. So I guess I'll give it a try. It turned everything is the police can't go in because they don't have jurisdiction or whatever and things just fall apart.

It's too much, but yeah, the center cat hold. Thought you had a thought in there. Slouching toward vice. And the Amber children's cat finds her roommate again, and they hug and Thomas Jane leaves. He has a very snake, a Polisk in a moment where he's like, welcome to the new world.

Welcome to the real world. The real world then flicks the match, the match out of his mouth. When you shot Bruce Willis, let's mouth. Or when you shot Bruce Willis. Let's not forget the fact. And they shot Bruce Willis, but that's okay because. So that's a great show. That's a great scene where it's all of a sudden goes into

slow mo. And we see Amber's upgrade, which involved her being able to slam into Bruce Willis and take a gun from the ground. It throws the gun to Thomas James. And it also says it lightly to Thomas James. Still slow motion. So that gives them enough time to shoot Bruce Willis a double-climbing. DJ Max, we did that.

Camlamo. And here's the thing about that scene. It called for some kind of cool Kung Fu move. And it's like they saved that scene to shoot to last. And they found out they ran out of money in the budget to hire like a wirefu expert from Hong Kong. So they're just like whatever, just kind of knock them over and toss the gun over. But everyone act like that was a super cool move. She just pulled that she needed an upgrade for. And the end. And oh, and we see Bruce Willis, we see his face, which means he's gonna open his eyes because he's probably. And we're looking at him, we're like,

well, he's sleeping, he's so beatific in death. Yeah. The end vice. So Dan, what'd you learn from the movie? No, I just wanted to say, like, I don't understand what reality is anymore, Dan. We talked about it a little bit, but I don't want to just like go.

But yeah, wings was a great show. I don't want to zip past the plan at the end of the movie where like all through the movie Thomas Jane has been like this lawn or guys like I hate vice. I hate the way that like the evil from vice, you know, like slops over the edge. People get new yaya's out, but really they get acclimated to this activity and then they go outside, they do it to real people. Yeah, so he's, you know, really upset about things. He's supposed to be the one doing things really, like even though he's a, a

rogue cop, he is the one speaking up for doing things by the book. And then he's the, our, our avatar of justice. Yeah. And then at the end, the plan is apparently just like, all right, we're going to go into vice and we're gonna shoot everybody Including people that I assume are not robots. We can't we have to assume everyone gets shot as a robot All right, yeah, like every is every security guard a robot because if not they have like families dude Yeah, that's just a job. It's not like they work for that company. They're like well I I also love the product. I'm making a statement by doing this.

Yeah. And I believe in this. They don't know that he's a cop. You know, they just see a guy going around shooting people. I mean, Thomas Jane looks nothing like a, he looks like a crazy, fucking drifter. It looks more like one of the bank robbers from the beginning of the, and he doesn't, it's not like he's holding his badge out. He just runs out and starts shooting.

So that's, that's justice invite in the vice world. Like really, who's the real monsters what I'm saying. Yeah. Probably those dudes who are raping and killing robots. Yeah. Yeah. That's the other thing. I forgot about them. They're these are also like they never really established what part of them was a robot because they have flesh and blood bodies. But it's like they I guess they've computer brains. How do they make them? They're butt their butt is robot. So they have a metal butt robot Dan's the rest is high concept sci-fi porn film robot. Yeah, so they for an investor because they can they can drink things They drink they can take shots and stuff. Yeah, I mean, do they have like an exhaust port in the robot?

Anyway, we've got we all like an exhaust port in the robot. No. In a way, we've got, we all got an exhaust port in the robot. They take a shot and then unbunnose to them, a flap opens up in their butts and the, and the liquor just flows out. Yeah, like airplanes or something. Everything else about the robot is super sophisticated. And then there's just like a little trap door in the butt. It does that goes,

ee ee ee. We don't open it, and then ee ee ee. It's like all the time long jobs opens, it opens. It closes. It's like old time long jobs. If I didn't their bodies. Yeah. Drizzles out. It's like the back of a Mr. Potato head

where the little flap where you stick all those parts. Oh yeah. Yeah. The first row, but that's where they store their extra features. Yeah. They're different wigs. Hey guys, this is a real monster.

Us or Mr. Potato head? When I was growing up, I always kind of wished I had a flap that I could put almost Just in your body in my body. Yeah, I mean that carried over to like a marsupial Palakri, you want me more like a James Woods? First off, I don't think that mr. Potato heads at marsupial Or Australia or Australia yeah, and then when I was going up later on Or marsupials and they're all over the North American continent and then when I got in like nerdy shit There's like

I Wanting a flap rigged sort of things your body like That's what you can't. I know I can't get to any of that. I know I can't get to any of that. I know. But you came in nerd. Yeah, when I became a nerd,

one of my favorite things in the Shatterrun role-playing game, which is a sci-fi cyberpunk future, is that if you want to be a cool street samurai, you could get a little holsters in your legs, like Robocop. And I thought that was even cooler that you could store, like, I don't know, like chits, credsticks, or guns in various container sections

in your body. This seems to be like a teenager. You'd just be storing, like, your pens and pencils for school and a go-dirt. Yeah, I mean, I didn't, I wasn't carrying around an Aries predator to handgun. But yeah, I would carry goger various things. Gynastore shape check and nuts. I mean, probably roll, probably like print it off pornography from the internet that I didn't want

my parents to find. Just keep it in your leg. Yeah, they're not gonna look at my leg dude. Well, you're sleeping, what if they press the code keep it in your leg. Yeah, they're not gonna look at my leg dude. Well, you're sleeping, what if they press the code buttons and open your leg up? There's no code buttons, it's all mental commands. Yeah, a solution I got for you.

Okay, Dan, get yourself a pair of kids. Little zipper pockets. Wait, are those shoes? Shoes? Yeah. You don't remember that? It's had zipper pockets. That was what was so, like, I thought this was so cool

when I was a kid. Okay. There's shoes. We're establishing this was so cool when I was a kid. Okay, there's shoes. We're establishing the bar for cool. And that was a kid. I mean, shoes light up at all. No. Were they British nights? No. LA gears. Okay. There were shoes that had pockets. Kids is the brain. I think it's oh yeah. Yeah. So if you wanted to, if you had anything of the size of something that could be transported easily in a shoe. So like a penny.

Yeah, I was like literally you put a penny in there. They're like a condom, right? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, the kids. The kids. The three kids is the one who's going to get lucky. We're like a couple of cats. It's like a duck condom.

It's kind of kind of gross. A non-rapped, how are the duck condom? Yeah. Okay, Elliot. So we've shared someard.com? Yeah. Okay, Elliot. So we've shared some embarrassing stories from our youth. Yeah, sure. What did you want to pocket in? I mean, I know.

Where did you want your pockets? I mean, I probably wouldn't want it to hide pornography that too. I can't think of anything else. Oh, okay. I mean, but I had plenty of places around my room that I could hide that stuff. Yeah.

What, like, Trapper Keepers? I mean, I sure do. I'm just like, There's the classic under the bed. Well, like behind, but I did a ton of books in my, in my rooms, like behind books, in between books.

Did you tape it to the, the underside of the lid of the, the toilet thing, yeah. Yeah, the toilet tank, yeah. That's right. Yeah. I don't know. So that in the middle of the night, I could surptitiously take off the ceramic lid of

the toilet with the like, and then pull the duct tape, the loudest tape you could find, which in turn rips and destroys the pornography. So I was too busy spending hours trying to download a picture from some kind of news group. Yeah, so this is a real flashback to a time when people's lives really had to have physical pornography and hide it around. Or just use the power of the human imagination. That's right. That's gone.

It doesn't exist anymore. No, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't think of any sex things. Just do it right now. I'm trying to. I'm trying to think of a sex face looking really weird. I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't a line. Is that something you find sexy? No, not at all. That's the thing. So, Dan, you don't want to go to a theme park

where you can kill and rape a line. Well, you put it that way. I don't. I don't. So good that way. I don't. So can we, so time to talk about this movie some more guys. It can be wrapped up in the final.

No, we can say final judgments whether this was a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a bad bad movie, or a movie you kind of liked. I'll start by saying, like, there's a brief point at the beginning, and then at the end, where I was like, this is verging on good bad, but the complete lack of interest that I had in the entire middle.

I would say the middle hour and 25 minutes, really. Yeah. And the fact that it's based on such a just tasteful premise makes it a bad, bad movie. Yeah, I agree. I, though there were times when it felt like we were watching like an abandoned pilot crappy show. Mm-hmm. And.

He cut out a couple of Thomas James swear words. You cut out the one topple scene and it's the pilot for a show where a guy and a robot are partner cops and he's got a teacher about how to live like that. That's a show called almost human. I guess he was almost humans. Yeah, it was totally bad, bad. This was another one of those where Dan sprung it on us and he was like, hey guys, I think Vice is going to be the bees knees and we're like, I don't know about that.

He said, Archie, put on your pajamas because this movie will be that. Yep. That's the pajamas. Yep. You guys might want to take your socks off now because they're about to get knocked right off. Don't pay for the whole seat because you're only going to use the edge. Better put some Elmer's glue on that wiggy ears. So don't flip right off.

Hey guys, use this course to hold your sides in because they're going to be splitting. Wait, so it's funny? Put this pillow on your knee because you're going to be slapping it. Wow, that bit went on long as I had any hope for. I can tell it was amazing. Yeah. You just kept pulling them out. Hold on to this bishops because you're going to be waxing him.

What? Jesus. What? What? What? I'm going to masturbate because of this. I don't know. You thought the moon was going to be really great. Let me hold on to your night sticks boys. So you don't start polishing. So now, don't choke that chicken because PETA has been really on me lately. Before we, so bad, bad movie, right Dan? Yeah, that's right. I got to admit, I kind of would rather watch nothing but trouble than vice.

Vice is just so boring and forgettable, whereas nothing but trouble is really burned into my mind as a horrific stew. That's a true act of madness. Yeah, we're referring to nothing but trouble. The movie we watched last a time we recorded. See, the nice thing about nothing but trouble is for the most part, I can walk out of certain scenes to make drinks and come back and I would miss them entirely. And it lessen the impact. Any movie you could do that with. He's that I like about that.

It wasn't big scene. It wasn't being inserted directly into my brain, so I could walk out of the room. Unlike most movies. Yeah, my review of Vices, I don't know, maybe close your eyes the whole time. Ha! Ha! [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUT [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING Hey, you like two shirts, right? How about a mug? Are your walls looking a little bare? Visit maxfunstore.com and cover all of these bases and more. We just added some amazing new shirts and posters, so visit today and outfit your home and torso

with the freshest maxfunmerch. Maxfunstore.com Yeah, so before we move along to our next segment, we have a couple of jumbo tron messages. Yeah, so trons and make them jump. Yeah, so this is if you guys haven't turned off this podcast to get on with your life, this is Flapphouse Housework. And they sound like it's sure. No, these are announcements that people want us to announce. Oh, yeah, okay. That jumbo tron.

So the first jumbo tron is, and if you want to have a jumbo tron message, I don't know, sign up for it. Yeah, go to the maximum fund.org. Okay. That org's for its last jumbo tron. So our first message is a free ebook from Marcus Lambair.

And Arthur, you've never heard of, I'm assuming it Marcus Lambair and our author you've never heard of. I'm assuming it's lambair not Lambert. I think we can only assume. Christians, you have a new savior. I do. Don't worry. You sounded worried. This one's Jewish too.

A pitch black horror comedy about loneliness, failure, and male hero fantasies. The e-book version of Ralph Pinkis, a cultist extraordinaire by Marcus Lambair is currently available for free on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords and iTunes. Warning! This book contains sexually explicit content and graphic language. Unlike Vice. My favorite thing. Yeah.

Yeah, Dan's got all the stuff you like in it. That's why I pitched my voice at the perfect level to sell something to Dan. That's right, it's the only level I can hear actually. Salesman, this is a tip you should know if Dan walks in. There's a certain frequency, which if your voice hits it, he has to buy from you. It's a strange thing that neurologists have been looking into, but until they find a cure, sell the shit out of stuff. That's why I went dance walking down the street

and he almost walks into a car dealership. We have to Mr. McGoo amount of the way. By putting a derver in front of him and he walks onto and it swings him into a good stretch inside. Have to buy it. Slide down a tube into safety. I mean, that's what birth is, basically, right? Yeah. Except you leave it for safety. Yeah. So head over to those various platforms and download your free ebook. Ralph Pinkis, the cultist extraordinaire. There's another jumbo-tron

message, which is less of a commercial one and more of a personal one. And I'm very honored to read it. This is for Victoria from day two and a half years ago. I was listening to the flop house on a bus to New York to meet you for the first time. The show relaxed my nerves, brightened my eyes, loosened my tongue, helped me be the goof you judged worth a long distance relationship. Our first month living together, I felt so contented.

Thanks for moving and taking on this commitment with me. It is very sweet. What episode do you think she they were listening to? I don't know. Two and a half years ago, probably gooey. What movie would it look me in romance? A movie. I think we just peered into Elliot's psyche here for the green. If they can make a pencil out of boys, then I can make this relationship with the big pencil. Stop the pencil machines. They're pouring boys into them.

I did think you meant the toilet pencils. Weirdly soft like they were made on a human skin. But that's that's very lovely message. Yeah. Speaking as someone who I It's nice to hear a story about two people who are together by choice as opposed to trap together like the three of us. Yeah, my witches curse. Yeah. Sarah shouldn't have made fun of that witch. You tell me that now. Can you get any more awardy? Chandler Banger friends, everybody. Chandler Banger.

Chandler Banger. Chandler Bing and special Chandler Bing and Richel, we know. Wishmaster 5 friends. And Ross accidentally sent some of those sex monsters that stripped all the flesh off of his body. Yeah. It's horrifying. Oh.

Didn't help and Joey walked up to the witch went how you do it. I would think that would be a compliment, but I guess not in this enlightened age. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And then Rachel, I really just said that was funny. And Monica and Phoebe were saying a song about it. And what are the characters running that show? Gunther? Yeah. That's not a real character. Yeah, yeah, there's Gunther, yeah.

What about Bob and Rock's Diddy? Were they out of friends? I mean, they were friends, so I guess they'd have to be. I guess they'd be. Not about like, Chef Boyard D. Was he a character on friends? I mean, it makes sense. Monica was a chef.

She was. She was. I think so. Just a caterer. What about just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Let's do it. The thing that we do, where you write us. That only we do.

Nobody else does this. Flop house copyrighted. At AndTrainMark. We put the idea of reading letters into an envelope, mailed it to ourselves that the year's fucking date stamped. Don't even try to steal it from us. We'll sue you. It's also like the most basic way of explaining a thing.

This is a thing that we do. I could have just done it. And then the audience would assume that that was a thing that I did. Just by virtue of it. No, they could have thought it was a one off. Yeah. All right. Anyway, okay.

So first letter is from, let's see, who's it from? Ross last name, what? Are you asking the paper? Paper, who is this letter from? So it's from Ross from France. Yeah, I have a mother. Maybe having your flesh drip from your bones

by the wishmasters. Greetings from an unusually sunny Glasgow Scotland. As a Scott, I feel honor bound to get in touch with you after you to say one thing when I was there it was pretty sunny actually. Okay. I'm sure that that's that you're one visit to it is a typical no no no, I think you're an eruption counts. Just bragging that I've been to Glasgow. Yeah, keep reading, Dan. We're there for like a fringe fest. That's Edinburgh. That's Edinburgh. I went to the Glasgow Fringe Fest, which doesn't exist.

So boy, that travel agent really got me. That is pretty fringe, yeah. That was the first curse that the witch put on me. Yeah. As a Scott, I felt honor bound to get in touch with you after you gave pod time to our national shame, also known as Guardian of the Highlands. You mentioned in the episode that you hadn't been able to find a Wikipedia page for the film. That's because when it was released in the UK to the critical equivalent of a sad trombone sound it was called Serbili and

that's the name it appears under on Wikipedia. I can only assume that the name change was the last ditch attempt to hoodwink some money from foreign audiences clamoring for the long awaited Legend of the Guardians, the owls of Gohulu sequel Was that is that in a way to order a highlander sequel? Sadly, they'll have to wait a little longer for the armor clad owl action day and I crave it contains some informative Form this sentence is making these sense sense so i'll re-edited it contains some informative information and some real-time critique of your letter writing

abilities uh... it has some information about the political comfort controversy around the film there's complaints from the heartman's when the pro-Scottish independent scottish national party government chose to promote the disney picks our film brave made in the u.s the USA rather than give the UK rather than the promote the UK made

Serbilly The film Brave went on to receive an audience score of 76% on the website rodent tomatoes Serbilly received zero that certified for ash. Yeah, now to be fair Serbilly only receives 0% from audiences because zero audiences went to see it. Yeah. And the ones that did killed themselves. They asked that their memories be erased from human civilization. Can you turn me into one of those vice robots?

He writes, regards me to views me because I saw Sir Billy and I can't live anymore. Regardless of your views on scotish independence, I think we can all agree that the Scottish government made the right call on this one, pardon me. I can't live anymore. Regardless of your views on scotish independence, I think we can all agree that the Scottish government made the right call on this one, pardon me. That kind of hiccup burped turns that into an inadvertent for the Alan impression. Yeah. The scotish government made the right call on this one. The film was put together by a husband and wife team who made a 20-minute short, which

then they stretched into 75 minutes. No, we were. Clearly they added no additional plot elements whatsoever to flesh out the longer run time. Nope. Somehow they managed to raise 15 million pounds to fund the project, leading me to wonder if this was some elaborate money laundering scheme perhaps following the bottle of the producers. There were some talking Scotland during his development that the Hartmans, the directors

of the movie, had somehow fooled and ailing Sean Connery into lending his voice to the project. I have normally very with it person. I have no way of knowing if this is true, but either way it's a sad and to Connery's career, even sadder than his previous career, Caper, the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. That's pretty sad. Anyway, thanks for drawing attention to one of the worst movies ever to come out of Scotland. Quite an achievement for a small country which has long punched well above its weight in

the category of shitty movies. Before I go, I'll leave you. There's a lot of good movies from Scotland though. Like what? Let's hear them. Hi, Lander. List of all. Hi, Lander II, the quickening.

I see the quickening. Hi, Lander III, the thickening. Yeah, Mario Van people's good really fat. I'll uh the Santa Claus. It's a highlander Santa Claus crossover. Fried twinkie the movie.

That's another sky's film. All right, let's keep moving, shall we? Wow, we were really. Wow. Okay. I think I think uh we're even recording an hour earlier than Narl. I think Ross is being a little bit harsh on Guardian of the Highlands because despite how terrible it is,

it was much more interesting to watch than vice. Yeah, that's for sure. Certainly more confusing. Yeah. Anyway, Gregory Sprole was a Scottish movie. I like that one a lot. Ross wraps up saying, before I go, I'll leave you with this bone-chilling quote from Tessa Hartman. We have a treatment

for Sir Billy too and also other sub-brands of other characters because feedback has been so positive. PS, thanks Musco to Elliot who managed to pronounce Glasgow properly and not as glass cow, which many Americans do to the endless frustration of glass regions. As a result, you're welcome here anytime and you do find yourself in Glasgow. Let me know I can offer advice and wear in the city, you'll be least likely to be stabbed during your stay. That is very helpful. Oh, that's great. Dan, I apologize that I did that. I get a little defensive, I guess, around Scotland because for whatever reason I really like it, I really like it there. Hey, man, I'm theoretically of Scottish heritage.

I just, I guess it's, I guess it's, I mean, I didn't hear it. I mean, we're all from Africa, if you go back to Arnold. It's not all certified. But like, Scotland is, like, right up there, I think is my second favorite country after the United States of America. You don't care who knows it.

I don't care who knows it. I really like it there. So I love it. I love it. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Anytime I've been there, which is not a huge number of times,

but I've spent a couple of trips there. People are really, I've been really nice. You like mixing their native beverage with Coca-Cola? I do very much. I mean, and say what you will about their food. I love it. It's all fried shit. Like it's just, I went, it's what you will about their food, I love it. It's all fried shit. Like it's just, I went,

it's the only place I've ever had double fried hamburgers. So thank you, Scott. I love the double fried. You just fried it like fried. I do fried it the second time. Yeah. I mean, that's like chicken fried steak. I mean, so it's just thicker frying on the outside.

Probably. Yeah, it's really good. No, I mean, it sounds good. There's, I love Haggis unironically. haggis terrible terrible so right no because his name's haggis I'm gonna give him a pass so I apologize you know what you could have going with that bit I just like Scotland that's right so there's a couple countries I've been to the wrong to bond to and I feel like Scotland is one of them Elliot love Scotland to eat a little, Kaylyn, your native sub.

Yeah. And Ellie's favorite movie is Sir Billy. I love it. So this is from Justin, last name withheld, who writes, I'm just... I'm just... Oh, that was Justin. That was Justin Diamond, is the twin brother of Justin. That's how it works.

That's how it works. I'm just going to jump right in knowing how much Ellie it loves retelling history with more awesome trademark. No, I don't. 1905 Germany, seemingly mild-mannered patent clerk Alpord Einstein, to discover something that would turn the world on its head. That's right. The necronomicon. No.

Reading it doesn't even make sense as a physicist. Reading it's insane stanzas. Einstein is driven not to madness, but brilliance, developing its own, his own alien geometries. The theory of special relativity now in 1930s, Germany, the Nazis seek to steal his secrets to release the great old ones from the second city of Raleia. In reality, they basically pushed him out of the country. Albert Einstein, Oppenheimer, and the Manhattan bunch, race to develop. The Manhattan bunch.

For these the kin detectives that hung out at the Manhattan Project. That's right. They race to develop the H-bombs to defeat the returning Kathulu and his gibbering Kodori of an abominable me go. But when all hope is lost with a failure of the bomb and subsequent something some some in some innings of is this a pitch like what the LARTHOTEP and they gone. You're a lot of folks. Okay. I like chaos. Fucking these are all gibberish, HP Lovecraft words. Come on, hard to say, even for a normal person in August.

And then imagine me. Yeah, let's not forget Augusta, let's huge influence. Our hero is fine, renewed vigor with the accidental nuclear release of another slumbering agent, Godzilla. Okay, so it's coming. Now, shouting strategies from his Dr. Wiley style. This letter won me over again. Floating saucer. Einstein and Godzilla engage in a battle royale with maddening eldritch hores above a war-torn

Japanese Pacific. And adventure so non-uclidean, there'll be no seed edge to sit upon. Albert Einstein, destroy all monsters, raid it all. I know it's a little heady, but I think it would safely make it some money back if it had the right screenwriter, yours just in the last time. I mean, thanks to movies like Deadpool, you can, you can pitch an R a to big budget movie now. Yeah, finally, you can make your budget back. You just have to have Godzilla talk to the

camera. Yeah. Make penis jokes played 90s. I pop the question. Ryan Reynolds has got to do. That would be great. He's played every other comic book character I'm alright. Yeah, tell me about it. As long as Einstein is not like firing a machine gun, I'm okay with it. Here's what here's the thing that gets me about the awesomening up of history. Yeah. Is it's not if it's like I mean doesn't make sense for Einstein to read the necromania icon. He's not an occultist or a literary archivist. He's a physicist. Yeah, it's not like he

chemist. I guess. Well, what if he picked up? I don't even chemist. He's like a occultist or a literary archivist. He's a physicist. Yeah, it's not like a chemist. What if he picked up a chemist? He picked up a pamphlet that he thought was something else, but it turns out somebody just put it like some students put a slip cover over there, like I don't know, physics textbook or what if he's... On the upper knob, and he somehow could read ancient Arabic. Well, he was just reading it on that. Because it was written by the mad Arab of Duel Al-Huz-Rid, right?

Yeah, yeah. Well, he was just reading on his vacation? Okay, now you're thinking of as a beach read. Yeah, I picked up as a beach read. It was one of those like hotel exchanges. Yeah. I finished this Christian, I will. What books do you have?

Just this, I'll try it. Neville, Mamacan. Sounds sexy. I'll give it a try. It rhymes with, it rhymes with comic-con. I think that does not exist yet. Is this written by Brian Lumley? No, that's necroscope.

But anyway, if he's dealing with science things as opposed to like Albert Einstein has to kick ass or something like that. Yeah, yeah, Where is he? He's got like fingers as a business of how to do the best axe kicker. Yeah, like he's a Kung Fu master all of a sudden. I don't like that stuff. Yeah, no, I agree.

I agree, but I like I like to see Godzilla fighting some old ones. I mean, Godzilla would I don't think would be much of a match for the old ones, but that's just me. I don't know. I mean, but I still want to see it. I still want to see it. He just went last long, I think. This is coming from, he would have to like get all the other, I'm a big G fan. I'm just saying I have to be realist the same way that like I'm a huge Spider-Man fan,

but I wouldn't be like, can't wait to see Spider-Man take down Gufu, Kavulu. He'd go insane upon seeing him. I don't know. You don't think his quips would save him? Maybe for like a couple minutes. Okay. So this last. It was worth it to hear Dan Mispronounce,

Nierle Lathoseph. Mm-hmm. I was sad that he didn't list more old ones for Dan to mispronounce. And then his army of Shogots. Shogots, Dan. Shogoths. I could do, I could say Shogoths.

There's the one who dances at the center of the universe to the sound of blind Pipers. I was just yeah, I think so I was just really hoping that the goat with a thousand young's name would be mentioned in that letter. So Dan would have to be forced to read it on the laws of the letter pages. I don't remember her name. Shelly. I'm not going to bring it up.

I'm not going to bring it up. I want Dan gonna bring it up. You're not gonna bring it up. I won't dare to mention it. This last is from Emily last name with hell. Dickinson. Who writes, I never got into podcasts until my good friend Steven, a fellow who knows the precise algorithms of my sense of humor and love of bad movies.

Recommended and I give the CBGB episode to listen for a road trick I embarked upon early this summer. He was right, and I was hooked. And all the back cataloged Benjing has made this summer an unbridled squealing with MIRTH and laughter. I'll tell you, that was one crazy summer. Thanks. Was it better off dead? I guess not. How I got into college. Eek the cat. Savage Steve Holland. Elliot's letter songs and general Elliott-ness are like a super concentrated syringe full of joy. Oh, thank you.

Ditto Halley. Stuart is an awesome dude in the saga of Ding Dongate was an epic tale I hope to tell my grandchildren one day. And Dan, I actually wish you were the default human being because if only humanity had Dan McQuain as his default setting, the world would be a much smarter, funnier, and pervazote your place to live. Oh, wait, I turned that insult into a compliment. Any who's ease.

I was listening to an old episode in the Stuart recommendation of SpaceJail reminded me of a time... You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. For me, I didn't have a time many years ago, and Stephen and I eagerly awaited said movie because the trailer appeared to have someone say the line, he's the best there is, but

he's a loose cannon. We fell in love with the idea of a character in the movie blatantly stating such a cliche, but much to our disappointment, it turns out the line came from Mr. Trailer narrator and not an actual character. Their speeches has never been something, and not just general awesomeness of the movie failed to deliver to deliver in a trailer that got you all hyped up for a film but wasn't in the final cut flotatiously Emily This is a tough one because I don't know if I have there's lots of times recall but you scenes have been in trailers and then not Right movie but because the cut is finished well

There's a in the I remember in the, I think it was the first trailer for the two towers. There was a scene of A.O.N. like stalking around in the caves underneath, Helm's Deep with a sword. And it was indicating that maybe that like orcs were tumbling underneath or that we were kind. She was like stalking around like being like,

going all like Like Splinter Cell on them, but that was never in the movie. I don't even think it was in the yeah I don't think it was in the extended cut either Wow Yeah, imagine things not being an extended cut. I know if it was a hobbit movie it would have been I mean there's scenes from other movies They watch like 20 minutes of Lawrence and Arabia. There's weird, like, there's a segment from Bungsy Malone. It came down to my palanter and watch this dope movie I like.

We have a quest to embark upon. But first, have you seen the one retails honey that he shrunk the kids? And if he just puts the tape in, and it's the nostalgic shot of a TV playing honey, I shrunk the kids to the entirety of the movie. I don't know if I actually have an answer to this. Yeah, I don't know that I do either. I mean, there's certainly movies that the trailer may look better or more exciting. Like, there's any number of monster movie. I mean, there's Godzilla, which came out

recently where the trailer made it look like this is going to be an amazing movie with a ton of Godzilla in it and it was not, you know. But that's just general, that's just general trailer stuff I feel like. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, that's, I specifically remember thinking like that the pineapple express trailer was one of the best

cut trailers I'd seen and then I saw the movie and I'm like, this is all right. Oh, I like to a lot, yeah. But the purpose of a trailer is to give the movie and I'm like, this is all right. Oh, I like to watch. Yeah. But the purpose of a trailer is to give you the best. Yeah, it is. There's no trail that's going to be like, it's an okay movie that you're going to kind of like. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Maybe go to it. I don't care. I don't know what your life is like. Whatever. Maybe got better things to do. That's cool.

Moonstruck, which is actually a very good movie. So I don't know why they why they sold it that way hey Archie hey so I everyone here's my cat complaining yeah like hey get him out of here I'm tired of wearing these pants yeah put it up yeah that's good put put put them up closer to the microphone so Dan that was the letter saying I guess we didn't have an answer for that yeah I apologize but we did that hilarious bit about the Hobbit movies. Yeah, we did so. So checkmate. Classic bit. They're already turning it into a series of paintings.

That's right. That's right. That's terrific. Yeah. Put it in the Flophouse time capsule and set it to... The future. Yeah to the future. The future. Yeah.

The future. Set it to 10 minutes from now. We're just testing to make sure the time capsule works. Dig up that life idea. Like we just put something in a box and then we wait 10 minutes and we open the box to see if it's still in there. Yeah, it works. No Schrodinger hij jinks on this one.

There's a dead cat near to. Yeah, I put that in there. It's okay. Oh, so this is our last segment on the show where we recommend a movie that we actually liked that you should watch instead of watching Bice. Which fun. I recommend no one. No recommend judgment for no one. No.

No letters. It's letters time. Househousework. Ra-Wah. Welcome to the Flop House. I'm Dan McClai. I'm Elliot Kayland. Everything is wrong.

So we're going to talk about movies that we actually liked. And I'm going to talk about a movie I totally liked last night That's fulfilling the obligations of the bit fulfilling the prophecy I'm always told me do it tell me about a movie that he liked When I was a child growing up in the temple the magic scrolls told me that Stuart would watch a movie Actually liked and then talk about on a podcast and that's what I'm about to do last night I watched I went to a early screening a special early screening that we got wise to thanks to a listener over the flop as Facebook group of the movie Green Room the latest

feature from the director Jeremy Soney, the director of Blue Ruin and Monster Party. That is a monster party. Monster party. That is a monster party. Yeah, do you have the tentacle? And Green Room is a super tight little thriller. It's very brutal. It's about a punk rock band who are far away from home. They're from the DC area and they're touring the Pacific Northwest.

And they are having difficulty finding gigs and they get stuck in a situation that rapidly spirals out of control, and it's really great. The violence is very meaty, I guess, and meaty violence. It's shocking and horrible, and it seems it has some it's it has some kinship to something like the assault on precinct 13, but it's I guess even more difficult to watch. And it's it has some great performances in it from both I think it's Mason Blair, the the star of Blue Ruin, as well as Anton Yelchin, and a... A aging poots. A aging poots, my favorite poots. Yeah.

And a great heel turn by Sir Patrick Stewart. I totally recommend it. It's not an easy watch. Yeah, if you're not into gory violence, like Stewart's wife. Yep. The large chunks of the movie making unhappy noises and covering her eyes, though afterwards, she did admit though she didn't like it. It was a good movie.

And it's pretty legit. There's under. Too legit to quit. Not only is the, not only do they have some great music in the soundtrack, but also in the thank yous, they thank King F music in the soundtrack, but also in the thank-you's, they think King Fowley, the frontman for the band deceased, which is a super, like, kind of unknown death metal band from the DC area. So that was pretty cool. The DC-st area. Yeah. So Green Room, Run Don't Walk. I'm going to also recommend a thriller. I got around to watching Ten Cloverfield Lane, which is a fun movie.

I think it's maybe been like slightly over-praised, just because I don't know. John Goodman. He has good in his name. I feel like if any movie sort of delivers. I'm like the director, John Badham. These days, like most mass market entertainment is so bad that if any movie like delivers. It's so bad.

How bad is it? That if any movie delivers. I'm sure Trorin then, NATO. It is overpraised, but I still liked it quite a bit. And I probably would have been recommending Green Room 2 if it was Seer Bowl already. Oh man, they're just churn them out. Thanks, Holly.

Weird. We made it. I'm going to just pump it out, pump it out, get where you would obviously recommend green room. I scooped you. But then I glued I sent you the link for the tickets. So it was the scooper and you were the pooper. That's your last my ears and my heart. Pardon me. So, but I did quite like 10 cloverfield lane and despite my you like that a myrials with windsminer

What do you call it? I'm just I'm just didn't love it. You think it's not as good as people say, but it's still good Yeah, somewhat qualified recommendation. Yeah, but watch it on a plane it it starts one up It's a movie that starts like psycho and it ends spoiler, like had a spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, kind of like aliens. And if that sounds like fun to you, then then you're, you know, my kind of guy and let's get a beer sometime., no, it's a lot of fun. The thing that I can find interesting about it is, like, it's Jesus Christ.

These things wouldn't be so long. If you didn't, if you let me fucking talk. Okay, you're saying the thing you can't like about it. The thing I kind of liked about it is, it's really this chamber piece. Like, it literally has three actors in it. And it's a small, classically constructed thriller, and that's a sort of movie that wouldn't get made nowadays.

If it wasn't attached to the Cloverfield name, like it's an ancient way to make a sequel, like it's not a direct sequel to this big blockbuster. It's a sequel. It's a sequel that's set in this... It's a road trip, if you will. It's a sequel that's set in the same universe, which allows them to make a smaller movie. And for that to be, for the studios to take a chance on a smaller movie. It kind of is the daredevil to Cloverfield's The Avengers.

Yeah. And so it's kind of nice that maybe we'll call it bad robot. I think it's a good robot. Change my room. For studio review, I'm still really good. But making a sequel this way kind of opens the window to a different type of film that unfortunately hasn't been made that much lately because studios are so focused on just huge blockbusters all the time.

And so I really liked it and it had a really great third act. Like the first two acts were like good, but few movies, I feel like these days like... Often the third act is the worst. Yeah, often third act is the worst. Yeah, especially with horror movies. Because in the early acts, the mystery is what drives you and you get so excited in the buildup so good that when they finally reveal everything You're like honk shoe. I'm sleeping because this movie sucks. Yeah, I think this movie sets things up so beautifully that the payoff is very exciting so I yeah, 10 10 clover field lane. That's what I'm recommending speaking of

Big blockbusters. I'm gonna recommend a little movie that's kind of a blockbuster. It's about two well-known heroes versus singing each other and maybe Justice Dawn's called The Forbidden Room. And it's a... He's a movie that... He's ziggged and we both ziggged. Ziggie. Now, this is a movie.

He's got ziggged. If I had seen it when it was released in US theaters, it would have been my second favorite movie of last year after Fury Road or maybe tied for first, but I saw it. It's on Netflix now, so I finally got to see it because I missed it. And it's very brief run. The forbidden room is the most recent movie from Guy Madden, one of my favorite directors. He did the saddest music in the world. He did.

He does those shoes with the ads. It looked like brats dolls. No, that's Steve Madden. Oh, they're brothers. Nope, not related. He does those football games. That's John Madden. Oh, okay.

This is Dad. Yeah, that's his dad. Yeah, his dad was in sports. His dad worked for Winnipeg Hockey. He did that TV show with Don Draper, where he was dissatisfied with his life, even though he was a fan of the winner. I was madman,

I was going to go around the madman. I was talking about what he was doing. It's a good way to do it. Yeah, yeah, okay. He was, yeah, anyway. But, so Guy Madden, I've eagerly awaiting this one. I'm a big fan of Guy Madden

and it lived up to all my expectations. In some way, he's doing some things in it that are even more, he's a director who is always doing kind of radical things, radical. Radical. With film format in terms of the look of the thing. He loves shooting things like silent movies. His editing is hyper fast and he distorts the images

and this he takes that even further, but he manages to get some much more, some even more beautiful imagery than he's used to because the way he's using color and the way he's combining images, but also some strange and haunting and bizarre and unpleasant imagery. But I would go into the plot except it's this kind of nested series of plots that keep changing back and forth. It opens and- Right, I'm right about that. Yeah, it opens as a kind of instructional film series of plots that keep changing back and forth. It opens. I'm right. I'm right about that.

Yeah, it opens as a kind of instructional film about how to take a bath. And from that point, it goes on to a story on a submarine. There's a story in a jungle. There's a story involving an evil insurance agent with who has these women dressed as skeletons that poison people. Like, there's a lot of crazy stuff in it. There's like holy motors. I would say no in that.

I feel like holy motors was, you're just falling that one actor through a bunch of different scenes. And the scenes weren't necessarily full stories. In this case, it feels like he's telling you a series of really bizarre stories, but they have kind of beginning middle ends as opposed to just being like a crazy thing this character is doing. I mean, some people maybe, it's more like Holy Motors than it is like Titanic, you know.

But it's, but I like a commercial. Yeah, exactly. Or, you know, episode of Big Bang Theory. But I liked this more. Where did your first post? But I liked this more than your first post. But I liked this more than, than Holy Motors. But Dan, as if you're not already going to go see it, there's a, there's an original song in it from the band Sparks, which I have about a man who's obsessed with butts and

is trying to desperately cure himself with this obsession. And I've had this song stuck in my head for a few days now. But it's just like a very, it's a strange but very fun movie. And it unleashes so much more movie on you than you expect to get from a normal movie. So the forbidden rule. Like in an extra movie. Yeah, it's streaming on Netflix right now. Don't expect closure on too many of the stories.

Okay. But expect to be constantly thrown off balanced by what this movie is doing, which I really enjoyed. The Forbidden Room. Three recommendations from the flop dudes. Yeah, thanks for summing up what just happened. No, we're gonna talk some more. Yeah, I mean, just a little bit more. Okay, this is the time where we sign off. Let's have a little bit less conversation

and a little more finishing the podcast and leaving. What I would say is this is the first episode after the Max Fund Drive. Thank you, everybody who donated. It means a lot to us. Good points to it. Thank you very much, everybody. It's a fun time of year for us to like go out

and actually actively promote the show because it's a big part of our lives. And the forced John Hodgman to come into my apartment. And I don't know. He was begging to come back. And McRoyd be slathered up in a big fat baby costume and do a dumb voice. Yeah. Hold on.

Yeah. You kept eyeballing Elliott's seat. He's like, maybe I can take the motor mouth seat. Wow. And just from the bottom of our hearts, we know there's a lot of people who are fans of this show who are not well-heal-millionaires and to donate any money to the Max Fund pledge drive is a real choice that you're making with your dollars. It's not a frivolous choice and it's you choosing to support us rather than spend it somewhere

else that you could and we really appreciate that. And I also want to say thanks to everybody who donated this part of the rocket crack it out action squad to the American foundation for suicide prevention. That was a really cool thing. It was set up by a group of our listeners over at our Facebook group. Yeah. And they raised a ton of money, which is awesome. Yeah.

Basically 25 grand. And don't forget that it's- What's our cut? And if, it's for charity. Yeah, you get to feel, it's a charity right here. You get to feel a swelling in your heart. Like a care bear. I feel like this wasn't all for nothing.

A charity again. You've done some good in the world. I need the money. And if- Charity begins in my wallet. If you missed out on the drive, but- Charity begins in me buying myself stuff. If you missed out on the drive, but you want to contribute, you can still go over to the Max Fun store and pick up the rocket crocodile poster drawn by a flop house favorite Tom Fowler. And all profits of that poster go to the same charity.

Yeah. So, I've provided. all profits of that poster go to the same charity. Yeah, suicide prevention. We're out there sort of helping to do good in the community. Not really. We're actively hurting. We are inadvertently. We are inadvertently in accessory to a good cause. Yeah, whichever streaming service rented you, rents out vice is going to be like, wow, there's an uptick in people watching this turn time to green light turn number two. vice to vice in it. The re-vice thing. Yep. Twice is vice is the name of the night. It's vice with a two instead of a V. Yeah. Like had a friend us is who his name. Yeah. But

thank you to everyone again. And now it's time to sign off. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I Flop House. For the podcast, I've been Dan McCoy. Over there is Elliot Kalen. I'm looking right at Stuart Wellington and I'm, my eyes are thanking me. Goodnight everyone.

Bye! Yeah, I'm the tall guy. I'm the short guy. And Dan's the middle guy. Yours is pretty good. If it's mine, it must be great. Let me show you my penis. Oh wait, I left it in my other penis, sorry. Your penis?

Yeah. So can you get my other pants, Warren? Well, you're not gonna need that thing. You never know. Nope, yeah, I'm gonna show you that one. You're doing pretty good about the chemistry between me and Stu. I'm gonna need it. I mean, maybe after the show, I guess we can do it on.

Okay, we're doing it on the show. We're doing it on the show. Oh, Jerry. Come on. What are we gonna talk about the movie? Forget about it. Forget about it. For...

Forget about it. For... Forget about it. Look at about it. Forget about it. For, forget about it. Look at about it. That's my Mickey blue eyes impression. Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture, artist owned. Listen or supported. I'm Jesse Thornt, I'm Jordan Morris.

The federal government has millions of dollars in programs and opportunities that you need to seize today. You're a taxpayer, right? Well, then you've got it coming. Thanks to Uncle Sam, you can get grant programs for veterans. Postage stamps that'll ensure your mail gets there in a timely fashion. And fruit for you and your family. Child care for your children that turns them into super soldiers. Get a million dollars to open your own lake.

Useful power tools that are easy on your soft delicate hands your own personal radioactive breath more sexual attention from everyone at the used bookstore greyhound tickets soft gentle kisses from TV's John Goodman a real narwhal athletic socks filled with stew a valuable pamphlet on millet your father's approval with stew, a valuable pamphlet on millet. Your father's approval. Don't wait right now. For all of this and more, drop us a line. Jordan Jesse Go, 1, 2, 3, Itoon Street, or wherever you download podcasts.