The Flop House - Ep.# 210 - Fantastic Four LIVE

Episode Date: August 6, 2016

Kept in the Flop House Vaults until now, and released because we're on the road in D.C., it's the LIVE Fantastic Four show!   Visit STUART’S BAR, HINTERLANDS.

On this episode we watched Fantastic Four, the sequel to Fantastic Three. And the prequel to Fantastic Ten. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington. Hey guys, I'm Elliot Kaylen, but you should know that, because you know me. All three of us are here, and it's just us. We're all alone, right? Yeah. Totally. Oh my God. I didn't notice all these people until they started making noise because I have a brain disease.

It's a very special episode. Yeah. You know, I didn't realize, I didn't know this until way too late, that the reason that there are all those very special episodes is the government paid the money to do that shit. Yeah. It was part of the department of special. Yeah, I did people throw that.

Make things more special. Reagan was like, America's got to realize it's special. So this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and we talk about it. And today we watched what we're recording it with people. Yeah, it's a live show. It's live in the bellhouse. Yeah. Yeah.

The best venue in Brooklyn. I say it's the best venue in the universe. The weird thing about, like this is like pandering to like the people who work at the bell house more than it is the audience. Kind of, they're great. Tip your bartenders. Yeah. No, so we watched the movie just down the street at, uh, well, I never heard of this movie

just down the street that we watched. At our friends, Ray and Stevens, they were kind enough to loan us our house so we could do what we do normally and watch the movie right before we come, so it's fresh. That's right. That's our greatest secret, Dan. Why did you share it? I've been doing this so long that I can no longer climax without seeing a bad movie beforehand. Oh, it's terrible. I just like to think that you get an hour and a half to two hours and 20 minutes of

four play. Before bam, you're done. Yeah. Baby, can we put on fantastic four while this goes on? Dan, I feel like you're somewhere else. Wait, are you watching Brad's over my shoulder? No, no, no. I'm thinking of another woman. So anyway. So we- The movie Fantastic Four. We watched, now which Fantastic Four was this?

Because this is the third movie named Fantastic Four. This is not the Roger Corman Fantastic Four. OK., now which Fantastic Four was this? Because this is the third movie named Fantastic Four. This is not the Roger Corman Fantastic Four. Okay. So it's fourth movie. Wait a minute. It should have been Fantastic then. This is not the Jessica Albert Fantastic Four. Jessica Albert. Yeah.

The Silver Surfer did not rise in this one. No, it was just. This is the new one with a hip-young cast. It's got Whiplash in it. Whiplash is there. It's got Creed. But not Whiplash from Iron Man 2. Yeah.

Whiplash from Whiplash. Yeah. It's got Lady House of Cards. Yep. House of Cards. Billy Elliot. Billy Elliot. Yeah.

Yeah. As Rockman, as you put it in your turtle, we call him turtle. Okay. In America, we call him Mega Man. For listeners of the podcast, that's a call back to something that you didn't see or hear because it happened before we started taping. Oh, the turtle thing, yeah.

Yeah. Just drawing by the curtain. Anyway, fantastic for. Fantastic for. And boy oh boy, was it a movie. How we watched. Now here's the thing. Hollywood is dedicated to getting the Fantastic Four rights.

They are sure there is money to be made in this property. They're going to crack this nut. It doesn't matter how many times it takes. They are going to make Fantastic Four. It's like a baseball match where you can have like 10 or 11 strikes and still be in the game. Yeah. Yeah, it's exactly like a baseball match where you can have like 10 or 11 strikes and still be in the game. Yeah, it's exactly like a baseball match. David Kaelin's not here to-

We can say that everyone. It's like we're kicking goals in basketball. Sounds right to me. I don't know. We're shoving a ball through a hoop for some reason. That is good. Now, as we realize while we were watching the movie, there was a good version of Fantastic 4 Already Made.

It was called The Incredibles. Yeah. Or arguably sections of the Venture Brothers cartoon show. Yeah, sure. But was this, how was this? It was neither of those things. In case you forgot what we watched. Should we talk about how the movie went along?

Yeah. It went along. It was a, this is a movie that had a, what I would call a pacing problem. A lot of a structure. It is a mostly act one, and then act two starts, and we get through act two very quickly, and then suddenly act three arrives, while act two is still going on,

and then the movie's over. I thought you were gonna say that, yeah. Suddenly you realize that act say that, yeah. Suddenly you realize that Act 2 was Act 3. Yeah, I mean, there was literally a point where we were, I was like, it's taken a while to get to this point. OK, but we're solid in the middle of the movie now. And I went to check, and there were 15 minutes left

in the movie, I think. But as everyone knows, Fantastic 4 is the tale of four Explorer Adventurer scientists. It begins at the dawn of time, 2007. That's like... The, uh, this version of Fantastic Four opens, uh, as Stuart likes to say, uh, wait. In media, right?

Oh, I don't ever say that. That's not... Oh, and that's true. Oh, my God. Smash cut. That's what I say. Yeah. You say both of those things. The year is 2007.

We all remember it. We were still going through the presidential campaign or whatever. There's probably like slap bracelets or some shit. I don't know. Yeah. And everybody was talking about this MC Hammer guy. Yeah.

But everybody was doing the Charleston. But everybody was doing the Charleston. And a young boy, young Reed Richards, is a super nerd who's hunched over his notebook in class, just scribbling arcane mathematics and diagrams and things. And his teacher, played by, of course, Homer Simpson himself. Dan Castlinette, that was one of the better things in the movie. Who, for a moment, I confused with Jonathan Katz because they look very similar. It turns out he, they're doing it.

They, now I want to see a buddy picture with the two of them. That'd be great. They're brothers. They're trying to trap people. Yeah, that's right. They're trying to trap their very old parents. It's not that hard. Easy to trap old people, yeah.

They're already trapped in a retirement home. They're trapped in their decaying bodies. Wow, damn. Like we all are, it's hilarious. Good point, good point, Dan. The day we're born is when we start dying, that's true. Now, young lead Richards is about to partake in the, what do I want to be when I grow up, presentation?

Because this teacher has no interest in teaching these children. And he also seems to be a science teacher, which makes it doubly strange that he's doing this. And Reed Richards says, I want to invent the, I want to invent teleportation. I want to be the first person to teleport. And I've done it. I've been building this machine. This is frowned upon by his teacher who declares such a thing impossible.

But it's... What weird though, as he says, he wants to be, when he grows up, he wants to be that guy. But if he's that close, does he just expect to like, dick around for 10 years? He wants to do it. And then go through purity and... Oh, when he's a grown-up, he just wants to like, bask in for 10 years. He wants to do it and then go through puberty and- Oh, when he's a grownup, he just wants to like, bask in that. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah. He wants to be famous as the guys who did it. Yeah. And that catches the eye of young Benjamin Grimm, played by one of the friends from Fresh Off the Boat, who we see with his not-so-happy life living at a junkyard because apparently he's one of riffraffs gang. And because there are some weird touches throughout them, they take a lot of liberties with the

stories in the comics, which is fine. Well, and they'll throw in a weird touch just to be like, we read the comics. So Benjamin Grimm's family is very clearly Jewish, like they have a menorah, they have a mizuzah, like he's Jewish in the comics. But they are the most queens Italian Jewish family. I think I've ever seen. There is nothing Jewish about them except that they have a menorah on the show.

There's a lot of slapping of the ears of the kids. Well, I guess, I mean, now I feel like that's an Italian slur, and I feel bad that I see that. I'm not the one who brought up that it was the slapping that made me think that. And also they live in a junk yard, which is, I guess, comes from the Jewishpping that maybe think that but and also they live in a junkyard Which is I guess comes from the Jewish merchant tradition of being a bone and rag man

That you in the in the 21st century of course you'd be involved with machinery parts but He finds in the junkyard young Reed Richards trying to find a power converter or some garbage. A flux capacitor. A flux capacitor. And it's some kind of, it's going to oscillation over thrusters and not says. And he says, I'll give you the parts you need, but you've got to make me your buddy. And so they go to Reed Richards primer garage, which is essentially the garage for primer.

And he's got a shit ton of Nintendo 64-s. Reed Richards primer garage. Sounds like a place where he sells paint. Yeah, well done, the Reed Ridge's Primer Garage. We got all your primer needs. We don't sell normal paint, only primer. Only primer. That paint's all the way up on the shelf.

Let me get a ladder. No need, stretch. Bring it down. You see, my ability to stretch gives me a leg up in the primer selling business. So there's not a pun. I don't know why there's a grown leg. It was a pun.

They plug in this machine to try to make what, a little toy car, teleport or something. That sounds right. They're kids. They like toy cars. They're playing with much box cars. Sure. And in the process, he blows a circuit and blacks out in New York. Uh oh.

The famous 2007 blackout. Except that like they're, I don't know why they didn't pick a year where there was a big blackout. Yeah. Like they, yeah, why have a blackout in New York if you're not going to use it for the Fantastic Four movie, all right? Always take advantage. Every crisis is an opportunity.

Smash cut. Smash cut, thank you. Now it's what, like seven years later? Yeah, seven or eight. Now they're grown-ups, by which I mean teenagers. And now here's a weird thing. They're in a science fair where he is finally ready to unveil his teleportation device.

A science fair in a gymnasium. A science fair in a gymnasium as many science fairs are set in. But Dan Kessleneda is still the teacher and all the other contestants in the science fair we see our children. And so it's like his teacher thought so little of his teleportation math that he held him back

for seven years. Until now he is almost old enough, almost at the age of consent, but he's still like in what fourth grade? Yeah. Fifth grade, it doesn't make sense. He once again causes havoc with his device. Ben Grimm, played now by Billy Elliott,

is loyally at his side because they're just best buds. And like, you want your pals to be with you when you're at the science fair. Yeah, he's a tough guy. He doesn't want to get picked up. He's on the ground. In case he gets beat up by bullies or something. Except he's shorter than Miles Teller,

who's playing Reed Richards. He's scrappy. OK. You should support him as a short channel Except he's shorter than Miles Teller, who's playing Reed Richards. He's scrappy. Okay. You should support him as a short-channel in yourself. He should... I mean, he's not actually short. He's just shorter than the guy he's ostensibly protecting. Yeah.

All right. I'm just saying. Your theory doesn't ring out. Anyway, they cause trouble, and Homer Simpson is not happy about it. They do not win the science fair, but they do catch the eye of one Mr. Storm and his daughter Susan Storm, who just hang out at high school science fairs. They accidentally destroy the backboard on a basketball hoop, and Dan Kessonol,

no, I'm not just trying to say that again. It doesn't matter. I'm not going to be able to pull the Dan. But he's like, you're going to pay that again. It doesn't matter. I'm not going to pull the damn. But he's like, you're going to pay for that. And that's crazy. He's a kid. I mean, probably his parents are going to pay for it. Exactly.

OK. That's it. Thanks. All right. I'm glad we worked out your one problem with the movie. It's good old jokes out there for movies. Let's speed it up a little bit. They are from the Baxter Foundation,

which is where a prodigy WizKids go to build the technology of the future, which takes a lot of welding and computers. And then we know they're working on teleportation too, or as they call it, interdimensional travel. Because in this movie, teleporting, dimensional travel and other planets are kind of just all the same thing.

It is not a particularly science-based film, Teleporting, dimensional travel and other planets are kind of just all the same thing. It is not a particularly science-based film, which is okay, because it's a movie about a rock man and a fire guy. And a stretchy dude. And stretchy. So that's okay. And an invisible lady.

They're all working together at this super-kid science lab. I've thought for a second that Ben Grimm got to go to, but he didn't. He is just moving Miles Teller's bags like a bud. And we don't check up on him for a while. Ben Grimm got to go to but he didn't he is just moving miles tellers bags like a bud We don't check up on him for a while. Yeah, he's just doing he's just working out the junkyard, you know Yeah, he's like fat Albert or I don't know like Heathcliff he lives in a junkyard, right? He's a riff raff riff raff lives in the junkyard, okay, and I don't mean riff raff from Rocky Harp picture show He lives in a big spooky house

But he's from another planet. That reminds me of Rocky Horror Picture Show. I kept wanting when the thing was- Yeah, because I just mentioned it. When the thing was around, I kept wanting, uh, it's Frankenford to come out and go, oh, Rocky. Yeah, because he's made a rocks. That's right.

So, that's a brain- a rocks. That's right. So that's what a brain does that. The head of the Mr. Storm also brings back into the fold, young Victor Von Dume, a Nerduel, kind of bad boy, who spent most of his time hanging out in the basement of an abandoned warehouse playing video games, and is from the Eastern European Nation of Latvaria. And everyone makes comments as if he has an accent,

but he does not have an accent. But Tim Blake Nelson, who's the head of some kind of, I guess the head of the foundation. Does he's like a military man who is funding the foundation and is like, I need to see military results. I guess so, yeah. He does not like bringing Von Duman, but what are you gonna do?

So they bring him in, they all work together, and frankly, what is like, and they also bring in Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm, the other son, who is a hot-headed, hot rod, hotter. Who is also a genius, because everyone in the movie is a genius, but he's a NeroDuel as well. Also, that's from the Marvel era where everybody's a super scientist, right?

I mean, that's now, basically. Oh, okay. That's one of the, if I can go on a tangent for everybody's a super scientist, right? I mean, that's now, basically. Oh, okay. That's, and it's one of the, if I can go on a tangent for a moment. One of the, one of the issues I have with the current Marvel universe is if you're a scientist in one field, you're instantly a genius in all fields. So Bruce Fanner, who is a nuclear physicist,

can also invent like teleportation rays and cure people of things, which doesn't make any sense. Every scientist can do everything in the world of the universe. Peter Parker is like, I don't know, doing surgery, I don't know. I mean, that's pretty, I think that's pretty simple, if you can make like a web shooter that creates a sticky substance that stays hard forever. No, it only lasts an hour and then it dissolves. Wait, what?

Otherwise, every time he shot, Jay Jonah Jameson the mouth he would have killed him. So what did he keep doing it? Yeah, Peter Parker at that point just becomes a serial killer who is super glues, people's mouths shut. And like a sort of a strange lens or a situation or something. No, and now Dexter's got to go get him.

Yeah, that's right. The crossover we've been waiting for. So they're all working on this teleportation device. Turns out they make it work and they manage to send a chimpanzee to a far off planet full of rocks and glowing lava. Whoa. Mr. Storm makes very inflated claims for what

they can do with this planet. And they use a CGI, they use a CGI at Japan's E. So you don't actually feel nervous, yeah. So you don't feel nervous about it. Yeah, and Mr. Storm is saying like, this planet will help us figure out the origins of the human race, new forms of energy that will free us from climate change.

That doesn't make sense. You don't know anything about this planet, dude. Like, do not, don't make claims. That's crazy. You know, you're just telling that to the military because this is a real sweet pork project for them, you know. Sweet pork. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, like a pork bun. Like, you know, you get it at Momofuco or something. Now, why? Why did they just work on making a better pork bun? Because that's a project I think the government can get behind. You have to teleport the pork into the bun. Yeah, it's sort of the catch more flies with going up behind. You have to teleport the pork into the bun. Yeah.

It's sort of the catch more flies with the honey situation. We just like, instead of bonding people, we just send really good pork buns to them. Yeah. America's all right. I don't know if that would work so great in the places we're at war with right now. But he's trying, I think.

No, but Dan's coming up with good idea. I'm always coming up with ideas. Yeah, but spit-balling it. Yeah, yeah, we're doing bad ideas. We're really trying it. Yeah. Smash cut. The kids are excited because they they're all right. The kids think they're gonna You're welcome. The kids think they're gonna be the ones who can go into this new dimension. Turns out No, they're gonna have professionals do that. That makes sense, the kids get mad, they sneak in,

they teleport to this other dimension. Victor Vanduum touches some glowing lava, that makes the lava go crazy. Everything blows up, they all get superpowers based on the thing that was touching them at the time. So a bunch of rocks hit Ben Grimm, he turns into a rock man. Johnny Storm's on fire, turns into a fire man. Johnny Storms on fire turns into a fire man.

And Richard's is like- He's touched by nothing. So I guess like getting stretchy is like just the default thing that happens on that planet. Reed Richards, they all get captured by the government. And Sue Storm gets caught in an explosion in turns of visible. Because she was around invisible.

That's all right. Yeah, she was around the air. Yeah, so you can't see it, can you? Exactly. They get captured by the military. Read Richard escapes. And there's some cool growth scenes that their bodies get left behind, right?

Yeah, Doom gets left behind, like the hit novel series, the same name. Yeah, I think he's dead. It's a real, you know, it's a Martian situation. Yeah. And so then Read Richard Richards is on the loose. The thing is being used by the military to blow up tanks and stuff with his punches.

And Johnny Swarman and Vizmolman are learning how to use their powers. We are firmly at the end of Act One of the movie. Q, the last half hour of the movie. Yeah. In which, and we go out, get Reed Richards. They bring him back, they go to the other planet, get Dr. Doom, he's turned into a crazy metal man

with Akira powers. He's blown people's heads, I've left and right. He's decided the other world's better. He's gonna destroy this world, creates a portal to bring all of Earth's matter over here, and they go through the portal. They come up with some cock-a-mamey way that kicking him into a laser beam blows him up

or something, and they beat him, and that's the end. Yeah. I got a... And the thing is, like, the movie... The thing is made of rocks. The thing is made of rocks. No, I wonder if he's rocks all the way through. That's like... Are you rocks all the way through?

Yeah, or is there, like, an organ? Tell me, right inside, and then there's just, like, rocks on top of him. Like, you is there like an organic inside? Tell me, man. And then there's just like rocks on top of them. Like, you know, he's been like rolled in like... Or if there's a person inside all those nuts. Yeah. Also, the thing in this movie in the comics,

he's always wearing little underpants. In the movie, he's just nude all the time. So he has no generals. No generals, yeah. And possibly a butt, but we're not sure. Everyone has a butt, Elliot. Now you're going to next thing you're going to tell me everyone boobs.

Well, we were talking about whether the thing pooped or not. Yeah, what is it? He has to be right. Or is teeth made of rocks? Is a little pebble. What about his tongue? Now, because here's the thing about the Fantastic Four.

Since they were created in 1961, the only thing anyone has ever thought of to talk about them is how their powers can be used sexually or for pooping. That's it. For 50 years, this is the only thing anyone has ever thought of to talk about them is how their powers can be used sexually or for pooping. That's it. For 50 years, this is the only... This is how people talk about the Fantastic Four. They say, they're really a family at heart. They're explorers, not just superheroes.

What happens when you're sex with the invisible woman? Like, that's how they say it. She's all stretchy, I mean, he's all stretchy, obviously. But also in this movie, in this movie, they have... In this movie. We should wrap it up pretty soon, too. No, we're doing okay, I think. We got a little one.

But in this movie, they... No, I think we're out of time. What they wear controls their powers, and so if she takes off her clothes, she turns invisible. Well, she kind of fades in and out of visibility. Yeah, so if she's having sex, like it's a stretchy man having sex

with an invisible woman at that point. Yeah. Which I'm sure someone's fetish. It's gotta be. So, haven't you ever... I guess I recommend this movie, then. Haven't you ever... Ha, ha, ha.

Haven't you ever well-loving sex? I wonder what's going on in there. Yeah. I love those Star Wars incredible cross-section books. Yeah. That's when the invisible woman turns into the visible woman in terms of sex. Oh, yeah.

Anyway, so... Moving along. And then the last scene the government has decided, you know what, fantastic for? You're all right. And they give them a special super secret hideout in the middle of nowhere. And they're like, we need a name for this group.

We need a name. What are we gonna be called? And they throw around stupid names. And then the thing, whose life is terrible, he's just a walking boulder that they throw at stuff. He goes, it's all pretty fantastic. And meaning, because his life is terrible, it's not fantastic, like great,

but in the old romantic literature use of the term is unbelievable, incredible. And Miles Taylor goes, yeah, Miles Taylor goes, wait a minute, say that word again. I said it was fantastic, and he goes, guys, I think I got a name, and then word again. I said it was fantastic and he goes, guys, I think I got a name and then it cuts to the logo. Fantastic for credits roll. I love it with that thing happens in movies

where it's like the idea has gotten past the person's brain but they still need the other person to repeat it for some rate like to really like cement it in their mind. Yeah, hold on. Someone said something. Wait, it gives me an idea. Say what you just said again. That I wanted to have Chinese for dinner. Of course, Chinatown.

That happens in the movie Chinatown, right? Yeah, that's right. Forget it, Jake. It's Chinese for dinner. Yeah. But I brought home this Boba Lee pizza. But you brought home a Boba Lee pizza. But you brought home a Boba Lee? I guess for the supermarket.

For the supermarket. Yeah, I would know. I have to bring it home from somewhere. You got Lizzie living the Boba Lee factory. It's like it was to take out Boba Lee, which everyone knows is a mad thing to say. Insanity. Boba Lee pizza is a pizza you make at home. That's half way made for you already

you find it on a rack like this anyway those commercials no one remembers I guess so I'm very tasked for here's the thing when it was first starting up he's made a rocks it's my job today nice, nice, solid.

I, uh, the around, I was actually enjoying the beginning of this movie because I was like, okay, this isn't my take on the Fantastic Four that I'm used to. And I have written for three of the four characters. Anyway, so, the, uh, it's not, although one of the stories was, was read and been going to their college graduation, called reunion, so it's not like a canon story or anything. But the, one of the, I was like, okay, this is good, like, they're spending a lot of time developing these characters,

that's fine, they have a real camaraderie, that's good. There's a little bit of fun. There's a, yeah, but then, a little bit. It gets really grim, not just pan-grim. It gets really grim. Who's a, yeah, but then little bit. It gets really grim, not just pan-gram. It gets really grim. Who's made a rocks? And it's just like they ran at a time.

Apparently it was a longer movie and they cut it down because they just run at a time for that movie. Like, and then at the end of the movie, Dr. Doom, I mean, this is what I wanted to get into. Dr. Doom is like a guy who can like explode people's heads, like scanner style. He does it to what's his face from. Tim Lake Nelson.

Tim Lake Nelson. He turns into like a metal tetsuo, the Iron Man. And so they're fighting him all over. But they doesn't turn into tetsuo, the Iron Man. Yeah, they're fighting him over on this crazy planet. And Mr. Fantastic is literally just punching him with his stretchy arms. And you're like, why are you slurping his head?

Well, much that splotty head powers. Much like Star Trek Into Darkness, the character is an unstoppable juggernaut of aggression until the end when the hero attacks him and he's like, ah, punch is I can't deal with this. After I have no defenses. Yeah. Maybe deep down he still reads friend and doesn't want to kill him. Well, that would have been a really good theme to bring up

but instead- If it was in the him. Well, that would have been a really good theme to bring up, but instead of it was in the movie, but they don't. He was like, no, no, we were buds. I mean, they only knew each other for like a few weeks. So why do they keep calling me? We were buds. Somebody I'll be saying that to you, Ellie. Well, I like to believe I'm going to be plunging a mystic dagger into your heart.

We should now get to final judgments, I think. Whether this was a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie we kinda like, Ellie, I think you've started it off already. So what do you have to say? Like it wasn't a good bad movie. I don't think it was as bad bad a movie as it could have been, but it was not worth watching particularly.

So, you know, like I wasn't like, I wasn't in, hey, I am, it's okay for me to have an opinion on it, audience. Like, I don't understand, there are people who are really invested in not like a fantastic war. Yeah, I thought it was okay up to a certain point and then it got super crazy. Just do it, don't say that, the audience and then it got super crazy. Just do it. Don't say that the audience will rip you to short. Oh, no. It also, it's just so bland and grim, pun intended, who's made of rocks.

That, I mean, it suffers from what I feel like a lot of the Fox superhero movies have, which is like, like modernizing it by making it more bland and flat. Yeah. Yeah, I don't, don't boom the audience. I marginally kind of like it. First like I'll, I, I, I, I think what you have to understand is- It's turned into an episode of The Morton Downies. You have to understand the contemporary reverence

from Elliot Caleb's. Are you surprised? What you have to understand is the curve that we are grading these things on. Having done eight years- You watched Onterrage last night. Yeah. And so having heard that this was a total piece of shit,

I was glad to find it was only a partial piece of shit. It's a turd, but it's like an old dried up turd. You can just kick to the gutter and you're just a shoe. As I said to the guys, I would watch it on a plane. Yeah. It got the coveted Dan McCoy plane award. Yeah. It got the coveted Dan McCoy playing award. Hey Max Fun community, this is your friend Elizabeth Gilbert, author of ePray11, a bunch of other stuff.

I am a longtime member supporter and devoted follower of Maximum Fun. And now finally I have my own podcast on the network. It's called Magic Lessons. And it is me coaching people through their creative issues and problems. This season we have some amazing creators that were helping through their joys and struggles of making something out of nothing.

And then I bring in special guests, like Glen and Doyle Melton, Grant and Stanton, Martha Beck, the poet Mark Nipo, Michael E. and Blacks, Sarah Jones, Gary Shingart. These amazing friends of mine to come and help coach these people so that they can get their work on. I hope you'll tune into it. It's called Magic Lessons and it's all about love. Hi, it's Dan popping in on this live episode to give you a few words from our sponsors.

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Hintrolands meetup and a Star Trek premiere screening with greatest Jins Ben Harrison. We've got a prospect park picnic planned on the 13th and one of our awesome karaoke nights on September 9th. I've been to these karaoke nights, I've had a great time. If you want to hear me sing some David Bowie, this is your chance to do it in the wild. So check out maxfun.nyc for our full events calendar plus guides and articles from our members and join the conversation in the Max Fun NYC Facebook group.

So that's all the house work for this week. Sorry to have to jump in on the live show like this, but now he takes you back to the bellhouse and our regular scheduled joke them up So but we should move on now to taking some questions from the audience. Okay Elliott, I think you should give your traditional speech to the question Oh, speech to the question. Oh, sure. This is something that I'm going to tell everybody

to save us some time and, and, uh, Sirus, as you might say, if you were Ben Grimm's family, which is, uh, a lot of times that these types of Q&As people tend to run off at the mouth, say things nobody cares about, try to impress us. Uh, here's what I would say. As you're walking up to the microphone, think to yourself in your head, if somebody who is not me was asking this question, would I care?

And if the answer is no, then please think of another question. So is that, that was, that was, that was perfect. That's right. Okay. Oh, and also here's a song of back questions. Here's a song just about questions, not letters this time, print is dead. Snail, male, fail.

It's all about the oral tradition, talking out loud, asking a crowd to ask us questions from them to us from you, plural. Thank you. Wow, that was pretty quick. Yeah, come on, there's another show after this. I can't sing as long as usual. All right.

Step right up. No. You're asking that something. No, you don't understand this work. They asked me something. And you. OK, so our first question. Thank you.

Adam, last name with help. Hey, Adam. Hey. I'm a corolla, everybody. This is your podcast. Please call me Ace. Why didn't that get a boob? Anyway, I would have a request and a question.

A request. Yes. Trademark copyright. Mail it to yourself. I have in my hands a copy of one Flash Gordon holiday special. Oh. And.

I have signatures from both Stuart and Dan Elliott. Would you complete this trifecta? I will. I'll tell you what, give Would you complete this trifecta? I will. I'll tell you what. Give it to me, and I'll sign it now. And then those guys can answer whatever. Is that the only question? No, there's a question.

I'll be right back. Yeah, we'll do it. Yeah. That was neat. Thank you. And my question is, that's a comic book we wrote, not just a random comic book we were signing. I read, actually, somewhere that you guys were looking into developing the Flamhouse as a television program.

That was once... You've been reading Dan's Dream Journals? I'd say we're looking into it in that we would accept anyone who's interested in doing it. Let him finish his question, Dan. Well, no, I'm just kind of wondering how that would play out. Would this be recast like when they turned Uncle Buck into a TV show and John Candy was a Kevin Meaney type all of a sudden.

Oh no, Mike problems. Why don't you with the studio? I'll just say the flop house motto is, what would the TV version of Uncle Buck do? I was going to turn the mirror on yourself and ask, it's too bad, Ellie, it's my reason working because I feel like he has the most thoughts as like the most TV person of all of us as to what would be. It's working again. Yeah, thank you That was an act of Jesus Jesus our technical guy tonight I mean I don't want to What do you think?

Variety show here's how it probably go we are all sharing an apartment. Yeah Two of us are busty babes But we haven't figured out which two. So we're still working on it. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Wait, thank you, I guess. It would have something about making fun of bad movies.

Yeah. I hope that answers your question. Doesn't do you. Thank you. Thanks for coming. And we're switching up people at the microphone. It's tight fit. Sorry about that. So, we're all can be really upset when Mad Max doesn't win all of the Oscars.

Don't you say that. But besides Mad Max, what do you think are the biggest Oscars snubs? Easy. Richard Jenkins should have been nominated for Best Supporting Actor for Bone Tomahawk. Max, what do you think are the biggest Oscar snubs? Uh, easy. Richard Jenkins should have been nominated for best supporting actor for Bone Tomahawk. He's great in that. I can see that, yeah. Uh, so we're doing some snubs and flubs here.

I don't know. Yes, you have one, like, locked and loaded. I don't. I don't give it. I don't really care about it. Yeah, before showing this year from non-white people, come on. Step it up, non-white actors. Wow.

Because according to the Academy, everyone. Get out everyone! You did. Um. I'm just saying what Academy voters are thinking. I didn't really have strong feelings about the Oscars this year, because I didn't really have a lot of strong feelings about movies this year. Aside from

Mass. There's a pretty Sulei. Like I didn't see a lot of the nominees yet. I like to X Machina a lot and I did like like a Lisa Vik Bacanter got a nomination for another movie. Is that right? Am I right about that? I don't know. Danish girl, but she should have gotten a nomination for X-Mac and I, I think. So that's what I say about that. I don't, I don't, I don't know. That's, I don't know. I got nothing. I got no answer to that. I don't know.

So I guess that's it. I hope that answered your question. We made a lot of enemies just now. Yeah. Hey, peaches. Hey, Josh Wies, punctuation them withheld. So, my question is, the institute seems to be some kind of either magnet high school or possibly, I'm guessing, unaccredited university.

In the fantastic form of your time, don't you? Yeah. Okay, not in real life. No, you're not asking us if you should apply. Not anymore. Okay. But my question is, is that Victor Vandume apparently dropped out. So when did he get a start to it?

It's a good question. It's a good question. It was probably when he was on that alien planet. Yeah, he went to the University of Alien Planet. Yeah. Well, this is something I believe I handled in the story I was talking about where they were at their college reunion where Reed Richards says to Victor Rundoom,

but you were kicked out of the university, and doctors said something about how they let him finish his degree online. So he probably just did that. This also brings to mind the Vandume after being on the planet in the movie for a while, like shows back up with a cape and cow over some reason. He's got a green, it's a green cloak,

it's just a torn piece of green fabric that he's fashioned into a cloak, but I don't know where he got it. Yeah, just because it looks cool and evil. Like, the planet, I guess, the plight, he's like, you're a villain now here you go He found one bolt of green cloth on it Please

Ann Marie last name with how boys gone So oh this is if you could take one popular movie quote and prevent anyone from being able to quote it one popular movie quote and prevent anyone from being able to quote it excessively ever which one would you pick and stop people from quoting it forever what movie quote what movie quote could we keep people from saying oh man there's so much ever again that's I don't know I've come around on my way it's now now I think it's hilariously stupid that anyone would bother. No, that's not true. But, uh.

Geez. What about your favorite movie, Candy Shack, Elliott? Well, Animal House. I feel like this all like- It's that's more, my problem with that is more that people used to come, this doesn't happen in a while. And I want to credit internet film culture for that. But what used to happen to me all the time is I'd meet people

and be like, oh, your film guy, right? Oh, so a good deck going for me. Catty shack. Like, if I'm a film buff, I must know every line from Catty shack. And it was always Catty shack. And I don't know why that was the movie that for some reason was the test of

whether you were true Sineas. I love their confidence that their impersonation of filmurry is going to be so good that you were immediately gonna recognize it. It also like, what, okay, catty-shack, great, what do I care, that's not show. I feel like the thing about this is like, it all comes in waves, like,

there's just waves of like, there's a movie that all the assholes are gonna quote for a while. Like, very few people say, do I make you horny? Yeah, exactly. Like, I will, like, it was the time when it was inescapable. Teachers were saying it. Is that?

To me, oh God. Mal, I know what was happening. Yeah, but for a while it was Austin Powers, and then there was Borat, obviously, as referenced. And then like, even like going back, like, I feel like growing up. And there was that time when everyone was quoting the prestige. Yeah. What I had to say wasn't where. I don't know, I feel like growing up. And there was that time when everyone was quoting the prestige. Yeah. Yeah.

What I had to say wasn't where. I don't know, say what we just say. No, I'm just like, when I was growing up, like, it goes back to like something like, I feel like there's a time where like, all the assholes quoted, fletch, you know? Yeah. And, but then like, as you say.

Just a chase. She full moon, boom. But time passes and then it becomes like nostalgic to hear someone do a shitty quote. So I don't really care, I guess, is the answer to the question. So do you have an answer? No, I think all movie quotes are great and hilarious, please keep doing them. Yeah, okay. Please.

Hi, my name is Eric Lathanym withheld and I work in finance and all the assholes still quote Fletch. Right. But my question. But yeah, my question for you is actually what movie that came out while you were doing the show? Do you wish you could have done an episode about the plot past on? But just never got around to where it never did. Was there a movie you're like, we should have done this and then it just didn't happen.

I feel like there's a bunch of them but they're not coming up. I'm so happy we didn't have to do Bucky Larson. Yeah. Yeah. I think that like there was a time where it was like, there was a threat that we're gonna do the Cobbler. I think that might have passed at this point.

Which one? The Cobbler, the Adam Sandler movie. Oh, the Cobbler. It's on Magic Shoes, everybody. I thought you said the Cowboy. It may still come up, I don't know. We'll probably do it for that for sad Timber. When we just do sad, Adam Salimotis.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's definitely been stuff though that I'm just like, Oh man. And then I realized that I'm getting sad about like not watching a terrible movie. Yeah.

And I feel okay. I didn't have to spend an hour and 40 minutes watching that crap. Oh man. Yeah. So I hope that that's enough of an answer. Thank you for your time. Hello.

Hi, my name is Corinne Lesba, name with Hal, and I apologize for asking questions two nights in a row. But you guys are awesome. So I have two questions. The first one's really short. So the first one is, hey, guys, do in today, Dan and Stuart. I'm OK. I'm fine. How are you doing? I hope this morning was a two-year off. hey guys, doing today, Dan and Stuart. I'm okay. I'm fine.

Are you doing? I hope this morning was zero. I mean, yeah, they were out there. No, the reason I have a cold, but they don't ask me on that. The reason they're being so ugly would be snort lines off of the reason for being so ugly.

My body is literally in a life or death struggle with pathogens. You know, that's okay. But Elliot being a... I trust your immune system. Elliot being a family man went right home after the, I mean, he really hung around for a while, they went right home.

I went right home and that ended up on a street corner talking to my brother for like 30 minutes. Okay. But, but Stu and I were at the bar. Well, Arch Boo for David Galen. Stu and I were at the bar late. That's why Elliot was left out of that concern. But we're fine, Thank you for asking.

My second question, which is slightly less short, is so other than telling the same jokes to the same people, two nights in a row, how do you tell when you have a good joke? How do you tell when you have a good joke? And I apologize for my obnoxious laugh on both nights of the recording. I thought it was lovely. Which was her last. You have a good joke. And I apologize for my obnoxious laugh on both nights of the recording. I thought it was lovely. Which was her laugh.

Oh, there it is. Oh, OK, that's it. I still like it. I still like it. I'm all the way. So professional comedy guys, what, how do you know? Oh, when you know, you just know. No, that's.

I mean, I think that you do. I think that this is. If you think, well, the thing know, you just know. No, that's... I mean, I think that you do, I think that that's... If you think, well, the thing is, you think the thing is funny. And then when you tell to someone else that they laugh, that's good backup. Because it's very often that I think something's funny and nobody else does.

But, also often, I'll say something that I think is funny and people laugh at it. So it's like, I got a pretty good hit, right? I guess. Yeah, I think one of the good things about doing, while doing a podcast, you don't necessarily know how the audience is going to feel, but I feel like when we do it,

we're just trying to make each other laugh. Yeah, that's right. That's a good barometer. If you guys either laugh or get irritated with me, I know that lots of stuff. I did it. Yeah. And it's a lot more fun to make each other laugh

than to quote, write a joke too, because like, Elliot and I. Anything is more fun than work. Yeah, I know, but like as Elliot and I, like I think have experienced, you know, when you're working as a comedy writer, like comedy writers don't laugh at each other's jokes, they just sort of nod and say, that's funny. Hmm.

I mean, maybe sometime. No, we laugh, but what we, when we laugh, it's just what we're, we're digging around. It's not like a hostile way. No, a hostile at laugh, it's just when we're digging around. It's not like a hostile way. No, a hostile at all. It's just, it's approving. It's not like we're refusing to laugh. It's just like, yes, I see what you did there.

Very nice. Yeah. Please, sorry. Jen, last name, Grylliax. I don't care if you know. We got a rebel here, guys. Security. We all know that the flop house cat is the carry of the show. Sure.

She like doesn't add a lot of content, but is the main character, obviously. So who is the Miranda, the Charlie, and the Samantha? And why? Oh. Well, Stuart, I feel like. This one's for the ladies, because they know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about.

Stuart has to be the Samantha, right? What, give me some defining characteristics of Samantha. Before I got to know what I'm agreeing to. She's the super slut party animal. Oh, perfect. OK, I guess that's me to a T. But then I would, well, here's the thing. Either Dan or I could be Charlotte or Miranda,

because we both have our innocent sides. We also both have our sides. I don't know what that means. Very easily irritable. Translates well to the bump, guys. Here's my problem. Samantha should be called Miranda. And Miranda should be called Samantha.

Their names do not fit their characters. Charlotte, you may continue. So I guess follow up what's his face who did them like call him up in the time to the time phone. Yeah, yeah, use the time phone to call what's his face. Just like the old saying goes, use the time phone to call what's his face. Thanks for the question. Please.

Hi, I'm ready to say Allison. All right. Thanks for the question. Please. Hi. I'm Rainy from the Allison. I'm sorry, Elliot, but I do have to say very quick, I'm an Earl and grad, so go Quakers. Sure, yeah. Great school. Here's two fine alums right here, and also one there. Thank you. I was too busy going to school in a big city. That's true. It's a good burn. Like, I really, I really all school I understand, but so my question is if Seinfeld were to date you

What would be your reason that he had to break up with you? Well the audience loves that. Mine would be that I would always be correcting him on things that didn't really matter. And then I'd do it in front of his friends and he gets really mad and he can't quite explain why he's mad. So we break up. That's a solid sign fell plotline. Why don't you use the time phone?

Call him what's his face? What's his name? I've got two comments for you. One is about Sex and the City. One is about sign-fills. I hope you worked on both. I'd say every time Jerry and I would go out to restaurants and he would always have problems with the service

or they'd send him the wrong meal or whatever. And I would always be too blase about it. Like, oh, just don't worry about eat the food you don't like and he would not like that. And then you tell him to tip big even if the service wasn't great. Yeah. Yeah. So it's good. It's not as good of an episode, but that's a good episode. That's still a good episode. It's a solid episode. It's got to be something small and irritating. So, right? So I think I mean it could be something huge. Like maybe you're like it turns out you're... No, no, no, no. The whole point is like, you know, he's an asshole, right?

That he just finds out. That's one interesting reading of Seinfeld. Maybe that like, sometimes I can't be bothered. I'm too lazy to take socks off before sex. I think that would be... That would probably be what he'd break me up before. No, that it's laziness and not like a fashion statement. Look, I bought these nice socks, I wonder. And then I can already see the scenery is complaining that Lain is like,

there's socks! How are we already to take them off? They slip right off! So that's a good one. That's a good one. So that's a good one. We've got our spec script everybody. Please. Hi, Matt, last name with Hill. I had a great question about sex with Sox on, but you guys were doing that.

Oh, sorry. Sorry. My question is from the movie. What do you think the age range was for that science fair? Because I could not wrap my brain around it when I was watching it. It seems to be one to a hundred and one. I don't know this. That it when I was watching it. It seems to be one to a hundred and one. I don't know. That's like the game, sorry.

Yeah. His booth is literally next to a little kid's booth whose presentation seems to be like, I have a toy playing. I don't know what, I don't know what word he was going for. He fails a science project because it's not science, but what's that plane science? Is it just the science of having a plane? I like that maybe it's economics is like a soft science.

Like yet to buy it? I don't know. Yeah, I guess we're moving on. Hi, guys, Craig last name with help. So most of your movies end up being bad, bad movies. And it seems like the main reason is that they're just boring. So how is it possible that a multi-billion-dollar industry is consistently turning out stories that are boring?

Is it, and is it, they're just enamored? Do they think people are addicted to explosions and awesomeness and they don't care about character development and story or what? That's part of it. I mean my serious answer that would be fear of risk. Yeah I think that the answer to the question is in the question the fact that it's a multi-billion dollar. Did I blow your mind? I did. Are you Von Doom? You just blew my mind up. No but the fact that they're spending there they're such a big investment that they're risk averse. They have to go to the widest possible audience because they spend $200 million on it.

And so they kind of don't want to risk any of that money. And clearly the ones we like the most are the ones that are on the smallest budget are the biggest passion project. And thus we feel the most bad when we make fun of them. Yeah, but those are the craziest ones. Yep. What? I thought I heard someone yell something. Hi, Ryan, last name with Held. So I like to interact a lot with my favorite podcasts. I like to interact a lot with my favorite podcasts. That sounds like a threat. Yeah, that is not a creepy way of footing. Yeah. Which type of law and order are we now the victims of?

And my question is, how often is too often to like tweet at you guys? Like every time I'm at Popeyesyes every time I watch Castle Freak Every time I cat-knock something off the table and I mournfully sigh at them. I Mean it's what's the Twitter etiquette of the interest with podcast wow Twitter kit I don't you know, I mean if it's something like heartfelt personal. I don't mind at all, or if it's just something silly. I did mention last night that we've got something like 80 different notifications that there was a tale from the crypt, ImNight Shyamalan reboot.

And so if it's been widely reported in the news, I think you're gonna assume that we've seen it already. Or we will very soon. Yeah, but otherwise, I don't think. Yeah, you guys are Hollywood movers and shakers. I mean, tweeting is literally like the least intrusive form of interaction there could be. Maybe if you think to yourself, am I doing this too much?

You may be. But who knows? I'm not about everything all the time. But I don't know. But it's a, you got to feel it out yourself. Look inside you Gents Lewis last name proudly Krieger I

Would like to listen to the door if I can and radio's or oh Listen to the door. Okay. That was a choice that was offered yesterday I Was not here, but I have friends who would but I'd like to put my ear against the door. OK, that was good. Choice was to put the ear against the door to listen. You place your ear against the door, hoping to catch some sound that might help you to catch the attention of the occupants inside. You do not hear anything.

Do you A, pull your ear from the door, B, knock again, or C, try the knob. Tune in next week. We'll have another choice. And next week's radio zork. On that note, we should wrap it up because there is another event in here after us. So I would just like to thank everyone who came out last night, tonight, both nights in some cases.

There are people who came in from out of town, out of state, out of this world. Thank you to the bellhouse for being so nice to us. Thank you to Matt and Jesus and the booth, literally Jesus in the booth as our co-pilot. For the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stuart Wellington. And I continue to be Elliott Kalen. Good night everyone. In three, two. Tonight we want, sorry, I ruined it already. That's the one, John and one.

Do we get that map? That's why they call them one mess up McCoy. He only needs one take to shit the bed. Let's try that over again. Maybe count down from a higher number, I don't know. Because it seemed like it took you by surprise when you hit the end of that count. My brain needed a catch-up with what was going on.

All right, here we go. Hey, everyone. Welcome to the class. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Puberty.

Why haven't you come for me? It's rare. It's rare that when you witness a man with a full beard, just start puberty. Oh, boy. I was up late last night at a bar, all right? All right. One more time. Hello!

This month's Beef and Dairy Network podcast is an Olympic special recorded here on Ipanema Beach in Rio de Janeiro. We'll be tackling all the big issues. Should athletes be allowed to eat lamb? Should Olympic equestrian riders be able to ride on a cow? All these questions and more answered in this month's Beef and Dairy Network Olympic Special. Find us at maximumfund.org or wherever you get

your podcasts from. you