The Flop House - Ep. #219 - Saving Christmas

Episode Date: December 10, 2016

It's hard to overstate just how barely the Kirk Cameron "materialism-is-good" explainer Saving Christmas qualifies as a movie. Meanwhile, Stuart talks about his gogurt buying habits, Elliott dramatizes Frank Sinatra's sexual habits, and Dan is genuinely disturbed by this movie's theology. Wikipedia synopsis for Saving Christmas Movies recommended in this episode: The Squid and the Whale Arrival Don't Breathe If you would like to contribute to the Flop House Facebook charity drive for Planned Parenthood, GO HERE. Flop House Christmas opening theme by John M. Davis and closing theme by Jon Biegen. REMINDER: Alamo Brooklyn LIVE SHOW tickets go on sale MONDAY.

On this episode we discuss saving Christmas. Wait, we discuss how we're gonna save Christmas or is there a movie called saving Christmas? It's a movie directed by Mel Gibson. No. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey Dan, it's me Stuart Wellington. Hey guys Elliott Kaelin here and ready for more flop testing fun. And we are the flop house. Ho ho ho it's December. Merry December. Yeah you better watch out you better December you better not pout I'll tell you December. It's it's slightly colder than November. But not as cold as January, we'll get February's cold to March. Sometimes to by the

time you get to April, it's warming up. No, we're not doing shorter. Stay of the year is in December. Merry December to all the fans. December December December. I made it out of days and when December's over, it'll be January. Oh December December December. The month of the end of the year, December December December,

spiders are what I fear. Come on, God. Not really true I'm not afraid of spiders, but it fits Stuart has a cold. He says so yeah cold hearts. He's a regular scrooge. Mm-hmm. He's gonna be visited by three spirits. A scob in. Both went for the same joke. We do we have to do a podcast. Stuart is having the double whammy of feeling a little sick and also having Do we have to do a podcast? Stewart is having the double whammy of feeling a little sick

and also having just watched the movie, Saving Christmas, starting Kurt Cameron, which is almost not a movie. It is pushing the boundaries of what can be a film as much as any art film I've ever seen. Yeah, it's very experimental in that regard. Like, if you were to ask me, what's more of a movie this or wax or the discovery of television among the bees? I'd be like, well, it's very experimental in that regard. Like, if you were to ask me, what's more of a movie this, or Wax, or the discovery of television among the bees?

I'd be like, well, that has a plot. It's a plot about a man with a six-sided TV and his head that bees put there and emerges by bomb into two Iraqi soldiers are in the Gulf War, but that's more of a movie than this. This is definitely the My Dinner with Andre of low-budget Christian films. It's basically just two guys talking

for most of the time of the- In the car. Yeah, except for whenever they get out of the car, or they don't get out of the car, but whatever the movie gets out of the car. You never leave the car. Whatever the movie gets out of the car. Even when you get out of the car,

you're still in the car. The one time the movie gets out of the car, it is for the most- You're in a bigger car and you're like, what? Out of this car, in this big car. Car to hyper car. This is the sequel to the car.

Okay, guys, trick me with stupid jokes. I still don't want to do this. Okay, well, what if we told you that you've got to be put in this Christianity today for the low low price of 99.99. Low low price of your soul. You could have eternal life. Now let's let that sink in for a moment because the minute you're born you start to die. That's just a brief flame between the cradle and the grave. I tell you it's a one-way trip and there's no return pass. Well, let me tell you buddy, there is a way you can live forever.

And all you have to do is celebrate Christmas, the exact fucking way Kirk Cameron tells you to, because if you don't want a tree, Santa Claus, gifts, or a nativity scene in a snow globe, then you're gonna get, I assume, burned at the stake stake Santa Claus is coming to town to beat the shit out of you I mean this movie does include a scene where St. Nicholas the Person that Santa Claus is supposedly based on does beat up a guy So guys, what do we do on this?

Sorry, we should give our mission statement. This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it and because it's the holiday season Did Kirk Cameron teach you nothing. It's the Christmas. Okay. Mm-hmm. We picked saving Christmas. All right, Ed To say I knew what we'd be watching before it started playing would be a lot Actually, no the first thing, the first reason I knew we were watching Stephen Christmas because the screen came up on Dan's TV and we saw that it was a full and plump, 79 minutes long.

And we were overjoyed. It's a Christmas miracle, less than an hour and a half. Little did we know that fully, at least a third that's 71 minutes. So what did we do to deserve this treasure? Oh, nothing, but that's God's grace. That's just the mystery of it. Fully a third or more of the movie is filler.

There are two or three. It's all filler, no killer. This movie. There are two or three introductory prologs. There's at least two epilogue sequences. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's like, for the...

There's stuff that happens, and then there's production like, for the, there's stuff that happens, and then there's production company logo, and then there's stuff that happens, and then another production company logo, and then for stuff that. Like, four different versions of the, what is this like, magic Christian church, what Lutheran University, which one is it?

It's surely the only film that boasts both Samuel Golden Productions and Liberty University as I guess involved in the production and distribution in some way, you know. Yeah. So the movie began. I would say that Samuel Goldman, a Jewish man who was dedicated to a certain sort of middle-to-highbrow kind of your classic quality film, say what you will about how stodgy that might be, but he produced a number of movies that are genuinely wonderful. I don't know that he would have been so into distributing a $500,000 budget infomercial for rationalizing the non-religious elements of Christmas as actually being far more religious

than everything else. That if you, this is the mission statement in this movie is if you have an issue with, let's say you don't have an issue with Christianity, you're already Christian, the movie tastes of a granite. If you're watching this movie, you're Christian. Which to be fair is probably the case.

It's either a Christian person or assholes who do all this stupid podcast that nobody lets in state. I wouldn't be surprised if I had the only non-Christian person to ever see this entire movie ever. So I don't know, there's probably out there someone has tied down with Jewish person and made them watch this in a weird effort to convert them.

I guess maybe, yeah, I mean, we have very weird effort. But, yeah, well, like, do you imagine that you're a high school kid, you're invited to a party from the, well, I've never been in that situation, but yeah. I'm like some cool kids and you're like, oh, these cool white kids are really nice. They invited me to this special party.

Why are they white? Well, because Smash Cut, the party ends up, you're in the basement. Everybody's looking at you weird. They start a movie and you're like, oh, I hope it's a spooky scary movie. And in a way, it is spooky scary, because the movie they're showing you is surviving

the same Christmas. Not surviving. Surviving Christmas is different. I mean, Christmas with the cranks. Yeah. So you get up to leave. You get up to leave. You don't want to watch this movie

and you find the basement door is locked. And there's like 16 hungry kids down there. How many of are your flesh? Yeah, or pizza rolls, who knows? Kids, where's both of them? So there's a little slot at the bottom of the door. That's where mom can slip the tray with pizza rolls on it. Or perhaps a gogert.

Or, I don't know if those slots wide enough for the Sam's Club size gogert. Sam's Club size. Why are they the Sam's Club size? She just gives you the individual value. Yeah, come on. How much do you think she's made of money? Ta-ta-ta. Then you take the individual sleeves of gogirt out of that and you slide it under the door. No, we get in trough size because we're a hungry family of six kids. You're gonna be you're gonna be transferring it to a

smaller package at some point or else you lose the go aspect of go-gurt Which is that it's mobile and you can eat it on the go. I don't know I think if you put the trough on a skateboard and then the six kids kind of like Shimmie along the side next to it. I know you're not getting your steps on your your Certainly not but look at the point whether you better either be on the go drink in it from a sleeve or sitting down playing the ancient game of go or it is not go-gurt. Yeah, but whether you have go-gurt or yogurt, the important thing is the girt. We can all agree on that. Sure, and girt is where it's at.

Uh, party, the dinosaur? How are in a world where they were trying to make yogurt sound cooler. They changed the yogurt part of the word. The fact that it already has a cool word in it. Yeah. And not dirt, which sounds terrible. Yeah, I mean, that's if you're going to try and connect with hip teens. Yeah. I mean, yo is something they say all the time. Yo, Willie, you know, because they're all elf. Yo, Gabba, Gabba. Yo, Gabba, Gabba, yo, yo, the coolest of the toys. Are there justine Bateman's boyfriend for family ties? Who always said yo?

For Gideon. I believe it is. That character. Did he die in a car accident? You're thinking of James Dean. Okay. I think I am. Yeah, word princess die maybe?

Yep, who's known for dying? Oh, two. What? Come on. She was the people's princess. Which is known as all of the things. She was the people's Republican princess. It's right there in the name, the whole time. So now that we've offended everybody,

let's talk about the movie that offended us. Saving Christmas, Segway of the Year, a War, or a consideration. So the movie begins in a nature-like scene. Yes, does it mean... A nature, natively of Kirk Cameron's house. So the movie starts with Kirk Cameron literally sitting in front of a fireplace establishing the mission statement for this movie, which is that. You're like a Christmas special type opening.

Like if you were doing interstitials for, I don't know, your watch is showing, earn a saves Christmas or something. Yeah, and Jim Varney, Restonon piece is gonna sit in this chair. I mean, that was crazy. That was crazy. It's crazy. No, it's not like a Wild West, like Wild Bill Hickock, Dead Body Show or something.

You know, you're not putting it on display. You're not putting a Corpse on display. It didn't happen to Wild Bill Hickock. You're thinking of Jonah Hex that happened to. Wait, Jonah Hex died? Oh boy. Actually, there's a really great Jonah Hex story about his stuffed body is now part of like a side show,

but somehow his guns are still loaded. So even though he's a stuffed corpse, he still killed somebody. Yeah. Anyway, it's a fun story. Yeah, but. So Chris Cameron. So Chris Cameron is sitting there. is sitting in the very Christian Cameron.

He's sitting in a chair sipping a mug of cocoa. Yeah, very slowly. And he very slowly explains the purpose of the movie, which is that there's two types of people out there. People are telling you, hey, you can celebrate Christmas, but be a little quieter. It doesn't belong in the public square. And people telling you, hey, all this stuff about Christmas, the tree, Santa Claus, the elves, it's pagan. It's not even in

the Bible. And he's saying, don't listen to those fuckers because it's all Christian and the world should be Christian. Cue the movie. And then you've got to the next group of production logos. But I love how it is, like how the world is like Christian Christianity is like walking around like this thing it's mine now that thing it's me. I mean that is the history of Western civilization. He does say he says I love the fire because he's one of the fireplace and it's a great time to grow out your beer. The fire destroys everything.

It cares now. It's a cleansing fire. It purifies the soul. The tool of Vulcan. It's destroyer of forests, heater of food, man's oldest enemy. This building is on fire. Grab one, too, the new batch.

Great stuff. So he's basically, but he plays, claims. Oh, man, what a much better movie. And a much better Christmas movie right? Well that was not Chris, that's what happens on President's Day right? Well they talk about President's Day because she, it's not on Presidency but she, someone mentions it.

Someone mentions it. Someone mentions Lincoln, yeah Lincoln's birthday. I mean kind of in a way it takes place on New Year's Eve. Oh, okay. Okay I retract that it's a Christmas movie, the first grandma's Christmas movie. Let's say it makes sense. Maybe it's an Arbor Day film.

Well, to the Grimlands before they all die, spoiler alert. They kind of think it's New Year's Eve. And they're singing New York, New York. They're just partying their ass. New York's not a New Year's Eve song. Kind of it is. What else do you hear it?

Anytime you're in the airport at New York, when you're leaving a Yankees game, they always play it. Yep, well that doesn't happen ever. When you're watching the film New York, New York you hear Liza Mannelli sing it. When you're having sex with Frank Sinatra he just sings it.

That's what happens. Because he's part about top of the heap. He sings that well he's on top of you and then he goes get it ringeting ding. You're the heap baby. I'm calling you the heap. Yeah. He says that well, he's on top of you. And then he goes, get it, ring a ding ding. You're the heap, baby. I'm calling you a heap. I'm done. Get out of here.

Money's on the table. Oh, blue eyes is not back. Get out of here. Geno, take care of her. Because there's been a guy. You know, was there the whole time? I'm sitting in the corner, you got a freak. Just waiting for him to finish so he can hustle you out.

Yup, he looks at the camera and he goes, it's all good. Sammy, you want a turn? No, all right, get her out of here. It's terrible. I mean, it was a terrible man. Frank's not sure, yes. I voice like an angel though.

Yeah. Come on. But anyway, Kirk Karen is still, he lays claim to things like fireplaces and beards as if those are part of Christmas. And but he says, like, don't listen to those people. Everything about Christmas is religious. Here's how you'll find out.

Then cut to the title credits. It's an animated, you know, birth of Jesus in the... With the God Christmas music playing. The kind of stuff. The movie is like the cherry protected daddy's are playing this song. The cherry-protected daddy's, I get it. Dan doesn't seem to enjoy my joke.

I take me a moment. Because there was a band in the 90's. Now there was a band who played on, I believe, the Nickelodeon kids' choice awards. Whose name was the cherry-popping daddy's. Yeah, I guess a swing remote. I mean, that implies, at the very least, that a man with children of his own is going about he wasn't really a de flowering someone else's children or at least his children what was it then

swing swing revival oh you're right it was part of the swing revival if you're making a safe Ferris joke maybe then I would have been on board what's another well what about or like a real big fish yeah yeah it's real big Fisher of men there you go perfect there you go done I would have been on board. What's another, well, what about, or like, go? Like a real big fish? Yeah, yeah, it's real big, Fisher of men. There you go. Perfect.

There you go, done. We did it. Case closed. Take him away, boys. Oh, no, no, no, Kajel, keep me. What about Nicholas Kajel? You're all keeping him in my house. Yeah, in my castle that I sold.

I'll put him in my pyramid tomb. Okay. Okay. Yeah, it's all be like the original Cyrus. My organs will be kept in conoptic jars. It's got to keep my car. You can't spell cage without car. It's not spelled that way, but you got the idea.

Nicholas, Nicodemus, that's an Egyptian thing right? There's something there, keep going. Nicholas, Coptic, anyway. So, uh, Kirk Cameron has established mission statement. So, cut two. We are at the swing-in-est Christmas party at someone's mic mansion that there is. And Kirk Cameron, it's his brother,

it's his sister's house. And she's married to a guy named Christian, despite the fact that he looks and he's coded as super Jewish. Glasses, beard go teased. That's a lot of questions. That's a lot of questions. Talks like, I, I, is this, is this Christmas? Is this Christmas?

I don't know, no, no, no, there's all the right Christmas like this. Like that, like this, general like this. Turn it into Jackson. Yeah, Jackie Freymason, the conspiracy comedian. And Kurt Cameron's sister, I believe, is played by his real life sister, or possibly a woman who just had her last name

change the camera. Maybe, and the guy who plays his brother-in-law Christian is also the screenwriter and the director of the film. Yeah, that's why he takes direction so well. I think that's why he's allowed to ramble on him. For minute after minute, it's like after take. Improvise as if he's doing like a viola spool and exercise every time he's on. Swollen viola?

Yeah, swollen viola. Viola's swollen. I don't know what that is. She's one of the seminal figures in improvisation. Oh, okay. What does she do? She helped invent improv as a form. Cause you know who I thought invented improv?

Jesus. Oh, yeah. When he improvised the sermon on the mountain. Oh, wow. He goes, I need a word to bless. I need to suggest you have something to bless. The need a suggestion of something to bless. The meek. Oh, thank you.

Blessed are the meek. Where they shall inherit the earth. Okay, I need another thing to bless. Peace makers. And that's all the sermon amount that I know. This is some short scenes later. Every time he's done... In short form, Christian.

Every time Judas runs across the stage to show that the scene is over Anyway, Christian is appalled that his family is throwing this Christmas party that's so materialistic It's not really about what's in the Bible or about the important thing which is Jesus and everything is distracting from Jesus This is a very well-attended multicultural oh, yeah Christmas party filled with giant plastic candy canes and stars. Giant wrapped gifts.

Big, big old nutcracker in the corner. A man dressed to Santa Claus who is barely trying to keep his beard on. Yeah. It's a rip snorder of how they party. And Kirk Cameron, and there's like five speaking parts in the whole movie. three of the characters barely enter into it.

And the other two are Kirk Cameron and Christian. And so Christian storms out to his car. He can't deal with this. And Kirk Cameron decides he's going to go drop a little gospel knowledge on him so that he understands that this is actually the right way to celebrate Christmas. And he does this with three, eventually four monologues

about how each of these elements that And he does this with three, eventually four monologues about how each of these elements that seem like they're not part of celebrating the divinity of Jesus. Actually are, and if you don't do them, you're kind of a heretic who needs to die. And they are hilariously reaching. They might as well be like riddler jokes in in the Batman series the way that they make a connection Between two unconnected thing well this conversation and I use that term loosely begins with Christian sitting in his SUV listening to

I don't know one of many different types of songs that are played they list they to a country song, some kind of funk song, a hip-hop song, just in the background. But here, here's the thing I just, I just didn't realize till now. You know what, Chris Cameron's so mad. You know what, Christians refusing to do it is own party, mingle. Oh, Christian mingle.

That's why, because that's another movie. Anyway, but you were saying. So their conversation begins with Christian basically laying out all the reasons why he doesn't agree with like the materialism of Christmas and the various traditions that are associated with it. And Kurt Cameron never really answers that. Like he never, he starts to,

he never really actually talks like, it begins, it's exclusively told through stories rather than like, and him revealing information as opposed to like actually trying to get to the bottom of what is his brother in law's problem. It's not a real dialogue. It is, yeah, it's a series of speeches explicating each of these things,

but they're all like, imagine a stone. Yeah. A stone in a cave. So the three things that, while they're in the car, at least that Christian is upset about, are number one, for some reason the... He's doing it, Louis. For some reason, the Nativity Snow Globe,

which is of course the major objection that anyone has a problem with the corruption of christmas has all these nativity snow globe everywhere number two the christmas tree and lastly what was the third one Santa Claus Santa Claus how do i forget Santa Claus the biggest one of them all because he's a fat man and he he thinks uh... as to quote Chico Marx, there ain't no sanity clause. Why do you really work that in easily?

Segway of the Year Award. All your consideration. So let's try to very quickly do it. The explanation for why the nativity snow globe is important is because you have to remember that Jesus was born to die, but that the herald soldiers wanted to kill him when he was a baby, but no, God was gonna kill Jesus

when God was good and ready. So he did. It doesn't really explain, it doesn't really get at why. I mean, the Christian says Jesus wasn't born in December, so why to do this now? And Kurt Cameron kind of dances around that. It's weird that the movie, they could have just edited out the things that the stories don't really address, but instead, they leave them in any way. And I don't want to, there's no way to put to find a point on it. Like Christian, not

to put to find a point on it, Maybe there's a beanie on it. Yeah, make a little birdhouse in your soul. While you're at it. Leave the night light on. Inside. The birdhouse in my soul. But here's a thing, like Christian is, as his name would suggest, a Christian.

Like it's not like this movie. Oh, I get it. Oh, I get it. Oh. This movie is not about the spiritual awakening of a non-believer. It's about one type of believer versus another type of believer.

And Christian's type of believer is like, look, I mean, there's nothing in the Bible that says this happened at Christmas, like it didn't happen at Christmas. Like it didn't happen in the winter. Didn't happen in December. Yeah. Even if it did, December in, where was Jesus born?

Was it Nazareth or did you grow up in Nazareth? Bethlehem. Bethlehem, that's right. Like now you're messing with a son of a bitch song. That's by Nazareth. Yeah, but like, even December in Bethlehem, it most likely would not have snowed. They would not have pine trees around everywhere.

Like, this is the pine tree is a pagan symbol that was barred from the winter solstice rather than a... He mentions ham and I just realized now, like, yeah, you better believe Jesus' family was not eating ham at that time, because it's not kosher. Yeah. Like, they never would have.

So, ever. Let's say that Christian is like the intellectual Christian. He's the Christian who is looking, yeah, who's trying to put some kind of, for the lack of a better word, let's call it scientific or historical basis to his faith, whereas Kirk Cameron, I guess, is supposedly presenting kind of the more mystical or metaphysical, symbolical, symbol, like symbology of faith. But really it's kind of just like a go along, get along, Chris.

Well, that's mentality, but he uses the weapons of the enemy by trying to use symbology and like historical record to back him up. I guess so. Yeah, it's like he uses a lot of extreme, like very, very tortured explanations to explain why, oh no, the proper way to celebrate Christmas, and therefore to be a Christian, is to do it the way that middle-to-opera-class, middle-white Americans do it in the late 20th or early 21st century.

That's what God meant all this time. The importance of the mistletoe hanging above a couple that's about to smooch is that it reflects the base desires of two animals. I don't know enough about Christianity. I said, yeah. Like, there's a part at the end where he talks about the tree. He goes, in Genesis, God creates a lot of trees, and then there's this other tree, and here's another tree, boom, trees.

With Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas went to the Council of Nicaea and he was the one who stood up for Christ Divinity. So Santa Claus isn't distracting from Jesus. He's protecting Jesus. And it's like, each of these things, it feels like you're watching a Glenn Beck show where you're like, you've taken like three actual historic facts and you've spun a web between them that doesn't really hold up and doesn't answer the criticism,

and all you're really doing, there's a scene, there's the shot that made this movie for me, was when Christian realizes his error of his ways and goes back into apologize to his wife for being a jerk, and walks past two enormous refrigerators in their huge kitchen. Next to, they have an entire, like a refrigerator sized wine holder.

That's a wine fridge. Wine fridge, and it's like, oh, that's what this movie is all about. This movie is all about how it's totally okay to be a Christian who spends all of his money on stuff for himself and is working towards having a lifestyle that demands three enormous refrigerators next to each other. Because Jesus wants you to have all this stuff, dude, and then it becomes explicit.

When at the end, they're eating dinner and there's a voiceover from Kirk Cameron who's as if because it's like they forgot to address this thing, they threw it in. Hey, people say the materialism gets to you. Well, the story of Christ is all out the story of someone overcoming the material world and the material flesh. No, it was like, no, it's about a divine person made material. And so giving material things is okay. It's a celebration of material that might,

and you're seeing like, fucking God, this is like the opposite of the, the question, this is dog-miley. Literally over catalog shots of very nice napkins and silver napkin rings on a beautifully laid table. Like, the whole thing. I feel like if someone brought up the parable of the camel and going through the eye of the needle

and a rich man entering the kingdom of heaven, they'd be like, uh, look over there. No, they come up with some way to explain how actually the needle represents posterity. And what they're saying is God is so generous that he'd make a needle big enough for a camel to get through. That's why he wants you to have this stuff. He's so generous. But then when he talks about, about, he also talks about,

can't say it about St. Nick beating the shit out of somebody, which is like, as if this guy was a hero. He beat the crap out of this guy, which seems also kind of a non-Jesus-Eat-Wait-Act, but, but, but, actually the best rationalization is the guy, Christian, to show he's now humble. Throws open the doors of his house and then slides in on his belly along the marble-

Really polished marble floor so that he is at I level with the presence and it goes look up at those presence, those boxes wrapped under the tree. Don't they look kind of like a skyline for the perfect city of heaven, that God that he dwells in, and look at you with the tree above it, and that tree symbolizes Jesus, and that's the center of blah, blah, blah. But it was like, wait, hold on a second. We're supposed to give presents to each other

because if you look at them from the floor, they look like a city. I'm not sure that tracks. And like, I am, I remember we did fireproof which was another career in Christian movie. Yeah and I wanted to go out of my way to say like look I have no problem with people's faith I've respect people having that faith and I admired about people and I've got my own faith that I don't need to get into it's called cromism. Yeah. Oh wow. No, no, but like as a, as a believe in the strength of one's arm.

It's the only faith I have. The only prayers that have been answered are the ones answered by these fists. But like the, it's really that religious faith is something that I have a lot of respect for it and then I think it's very beautiful. But so it, I like don't want to get, I don't want to be at the point where I'm like, look at these dumb religious people. But like this movie's really dumb it takes it takes the things like the things that are valuable to the human Fear and the movies really don't know about religion But the really like that it takes the things that are that are most necessary and valuable about

Spiritual life and it's like look dude you can believe in Jesus all you want But if you're not buying a shit ton of presents and dressing up as a Santa Claus and putting a tree up, you might as well be a tourist, you know, like it's, I mean, like, well, I'm, even the fact that I pronounce terrorists that way, as if making fun of somebody from a different region I don't like, that wasn't fair of me,

that wasn't fair to you, Dan. Well, I can make fun of the way you say it. Okay. Do you say it that way? Terrorist? Oh no, you say it that way, you say it. Well, I grew up. To make fun of the way you say it. Okay. Do you say it that way? Terrorist? Oh, no, you say it that way. Yeah. You say terrorist.

There's a certain slack, John, as of Dan's pronunciation. Yeah, I think, yeah. Like a Crow Magnet man. Sure. Don't know what I said. That was weird. But anyway, I mean, I grew up in the Christian faith

and my father was a minister. My grandfather was a minister. My other grandfather was a minister. My uncle was a minister. grandfather's mister mister my other grandfather was a minister my uncle was a minister I went to church every Sunday and I think this movie is The dumbest thing It is really good, but also there's the fact that that so you think the movies over because Christians realize the air of his ways Mm-hmm. They take a snapshot of the whole family freeze frame. It says Merry Christmas in text movies over

It should be the end right. No incorrect. He's got to apologize to his wife and then have a dance party. A hip-hop dance party. They do a hip-hop dance party. They're like five straight minutes. Like credits are going to roll during this. Movies are all movies over right? No.

Time to sit down for dinner so Kurt Cameron can talk to us about materialism. Movies over right? Wrong. Time for the bloops. We finally got some bloops at the end of a movie, which didn't make me a little happy. Yeah. We finally got some bloopers. Yeah. A lengthy blooper segment pads out the the fat and goose of seventy. Well, it brings me. They had to have

so much filler to reach the barest minimum length for a feature film. Yeah. I mean, this brings me to the the non-car scene that I wanted to get at before, which is like the line share of the bloopers are this scene between like the one black guy in the movie, and Andre, this other guy. I play by actor and producer of this movie, whose name I don't remember, but this is his only role,

and he fucking choose the shit out of that scene. Yeah, he's the boy in hand. And like a guy who kind of looks like the Christian David Cross. And they. David crucified on a cross. I guess the Christian David Cross would just be called David. If anything, David Cross should change his name

to David, star of David. Like his name I never realized is the perfect melding of Judaism and Christianity, David Cross. He's the hinge point between the Bible and the New Testament. But there's this one inexplicable scene where we, early in the movie, where we cut from the car and the stories that are being told. And at the one time we leave,

The beautiful stories. The one time that we leave these two guys in the car. A's the one time that we leave that these two guys in the car, a moment where we're like, oh, let's check back in on that awesome party. Yeah. And it's, let's leave my awkward car sit with Andre to go see these other guys.

These two guys hiding their mouth with mugs so no one can see them, no one can see what they're talking about. And so that they can dub in the dialogue. I believe. They've done this long monologue about this conspiracy, like this guy's going through all these conspiracy theories. And part of what he talks about in his conspiracy theories

is the Warren Christmas. So this movie takes like a weird, like, a surprising anti-war on Christmas. They choose this character to like, he's, I clearly supposed to be like it's a humor moment and you're not supposed to take him seriously but he's talks about the Warren Christmas and there's fewer bees and there's chemtrails and the new world order I saw it on Fox News. Yeah so they're putting Fox News and the

Warren Christmas on the same level as chemtrails so clearly the movie is like interestingly ideologically mixed on a lot of things. At the same time I don't So clearly the movie is like, interestingly, ideologically mixed on a lot of things. But at the same time, I don't like the, there's no purpose to the scene. Like it doesn't make any sense. Fucking yucks, dude. Yeah, yeah, fucking yucks.

Yeah, to get us fucking cracking up. You know, because you don't want people only hear like super serious stories about Santa being a badass. True, true. They came here for jokes and entertainment. They didn't come here just for a sermon, boring. Some story about a tree that I totally forgot. What's crazy is that when I saw the trailer

for this movie a long time ago, I thought it was gonna be about Kirk Cameron coming out against the materialism of Christmas. And we'd all assume that going into, like, it's a natural assumption. The moment when the movie pulls an audition level fucking switching up and we're like this is not the movie we were expecting.

This is a movie where he's justifying materialism is crazy. It's like this movie is conceived as a direct response to Charlie Brown Christmas. Chris like no Linus that is not what this is about. This is about doing the things we tell you to do. I wish we had the DVDs so we watched the deleted scenes for Kirk Cameron explains why Agnog is part of God's Land. There's literally a part in the movie where Kirk Cameron

goes, now let's feast. And it's like, he might as well be like, gluttony, gluttony for all. It's a movie that, Iy, gluttony for all. But it's a movie that, I mean, it was made to be shown in church basements and stuff like that or like, to have, I assume Dan, this the kind of movie you're from. And pornography.

Kind of, in a way, there's a lot of pornography to it. Like the, the, the, well, the higher, of course, scene in the middle, between Jesus and Mary was crazy. I mean, that's his mom. I'm not into those. But showing a guy like her Cameron convincing another smart guy with like his weird bullshit logic

to like, didn't go along with what he's saying. Like, that's the ultimate pornography for some folks. The idea that you've like, interesting. You've had a conversation and through your own fucking logic, you convinced them. Like, nothing gets his fucking boner exploding faster. Yeah, the most easily convinced man in the world. Like, the Kirk Cameron, like, tells him a story and is like, oh, yeah, I never thought of that.

But the eyes have been open. If Kirk Cameron was like, I gotta use the bathroom. Stay right here and left. And then another guy got in and started telling me opposite, he'd be like, yeah, I gotta use the bathroom. Stay right here and left. And then another guy got in and started telling me opposite. He'd be like, yeah, you got a good point. I have a harder time when I'm bartending of convincing Dan to have another drink.

From this guy. And all you have to go is Dan and he goes, we have one more. Y'all take it. It's like, I mean, we went into this incorrectly thinking that it was a movie. And when it's more, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like, It's an experience.

You don't watch Kirk Cameron saving Christmas. You live it. I love when like, Christian, like, you know, like, Christian is making like a valid... A Christian character, not Christian. Yes. Okay. Christian is making a valid point, not Christian. Yes. Okay. Christian is making a valid point about Christmas trees being a pagan tradition.

And who cares? That's a valid point, although who cares if they are. It's also a beautiful thing to do. I have a Christmas tree in my apartment right now. Look at it, look at it right now. As we record. But Kirk Kamen's rash now score is like basically twofold. He's like, there were trees in the garden to be eaten and also trees are kind of

like a cross and Jesus got crucified on a cross. Like this is the level of discourse that the movie exists on and there's something beautiful about that. There's a lot of... Tree, huh? Let me tell you all the times trees show up in the Bible. It's like, what should we have lepers at the party? Like, I don't understand. Should there be plagues at the party? Like those are in the Bible, too. Ugly Christmas sweaters almost reflect the pain the acedix felt

when wearing a hair shirt. What would be uglier than a world without divine grace? To look at that sweaters to be reminded what we owe to Jesus. Face offering. Eggdog, eggs symbolize the egg that we're not fertilized by man, but by God. And the nog, of course.

Well, of course, nog. It's all midoclorians. And the nog, of course. Well, of course, dog. Don't medeclory it. It does feel like an entire movie of a Qui-Gon explaining what made a chaloreans are. But it's like, I feel like, as I always do when I see movies like this, I feel like a piece of entertainment from an alternate reality

that I'm not meant to witness slipped through by accident. Like, I'm not meant to witness, slipped through by accident. Like, I'm not the, I know from it, you guys totally are the intended audience, but I'm not the, I was laughing up like a dog. You guys saying more please? I was like a dog laughing up at own sick.

Like, I'm not gonna stop. I'll probably just barf it up and lick it up again. But I like to think about was like, the number of grandkids who are gonna have to watch this movie while they're visiting their grandparents on Christmas and like, sorry folks, but I mean, they almost need to make a sequel so they can have

a fucking story from Kurt Cameron explaining how this movie is part of the, like, how this movie is part of the Bible basically. The Lord moves in mysterious ways, much like movies. Jesus said, you will not always have me with you, much as this movie will end, and then you'll have to do something else. Okay.

Yeah, we've been through the entire movie. We should wrap it up and give our final judgments. Wrap it up like a Christmas present? Exactly, like a Christmas present exactly like a Christmas present and say Whether or not. So I don't get one thanks, Dan. You get a hot like a present. So something bad probably Great presence. Here's here's a stereotype. I'd like to knock down Thank you. On a really rough so that I talked about the stereotype of the lonely guy masturbating because he said not true

Guys masturbate for any number of reasons. And often you feel better afterwards. Absolutely for pleasure. Yeah. Often for the pleasure role sensation. In my experience, sometimes just for shock value. Yeah, I mean, when you're in a baseball game, we're at an opera, sure. But my Hanukkah presence, growing up, great presence.

You know why? Because you're trying to compete with Christmas. You're welcome. You're welcome. I mean, that is true. I mean, there's no reason to give gifts to Hanukkah. Otherwise, it's mainly gambling holiday, with the dreidel and the gelt and all,

and the lot goes to stop. This is a gift. The main questions have given to you. Thank you, Dan. Thank you, Dan. Thanks. But it's, I mean, it is watching, it's maybe this, I'm a little harsh in my mind on this movie after it was so, as it was so forcefully explained to me on election night that I'm

here by the good favor of other people in this country. It's this real part. Sorry for explaining that to you. No, I appreciate it, Stuart. You needed to, because I was feeling a little too like ownership of the place much, but while watching it, there was this moment where I was like, mm, a lot of people just don't see the universe the same way I do.

What are you gonna do? All right, so I give it a good, great. Okay. Final judgments. I actually think it's a, it's, it's, the judgments are good, bad, bad, or movie kind of like. I actually call it a good, bad movie.

It's pretty funny And it's super short if you skip the bloops and if you leave if you end it before the hip hop dance this movie is easily what 50 minutes long Yeah, wait a minute are you like leaving because you already know which sports team one and you're like Gotta beat the rush. Yeah, you're like you already threw the ring amount to get out of here The reason that I miss the ending of every baseball game my family went to as a kid, because at around the seventh inning, my dad will be like, well, this is over.

Let's go. I mean, the score is three, two. It's still anybody's game. I don't want to have to wait in line in the parking lot. Let's get out of here. And then we'd hear on the radio, on the car ride home that our team won. And we'd be like, well, sound like it was an exciting game.

We just missed the end of Things Pop. Yeah, but we got the free towel they were giving out. No, okay, thanks, Dad. Yeah, I have to agree. This, to me, was a good bad movie. I had a blast watching this, actually. But I liked what scene Dan really enjoying it for a while. And then there was a moment where Dan was just like,

what the fuck? I think it logically, it's terrible. Around the materialism thing at the end, it just like snapped you in a way that I found entertaining. What do you think, Sue? I just don't think it's a movie. That's like, I don't know, like if somebody showed me an episode of a TV show and I'd have to judge it as a movie and I don't think that's fair. Uh-huh. Wait, that's okay. Okay, fine.

I guess it's a good fucking awesome movie. It's super great. There's all these characters, like four of them. So on the scale from Terminator 2 to Road Warrior, where would you put it? Uh, I guess it's closer to Terminator 2 because of the message. Budgeon, it's closer to road warrior, I guess.

There's no Vernon Wells in it, but he might have been in the giant nutcracker. I'm going to say good bad movie. Okay. All right, three good bads. It's a Christmas miracle. Oh, I was gonna say that. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ Wait, hold up! [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIRIC [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIR [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIR [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIR [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIR [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIR [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIR [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIR [♪ [♪ [♪ AND GO STRADASFIR [♪ old an age of knowledge. They're about to hit warp speed and go stratospheric.

Wait, hold up. On Ona Ross and Kerry, we don't make extraordinary claims. We investigate them. We go undercover with fringe religious groups, investigate paranormal claims, and we participate in pseudoscientific medical treatments, and then report our findings to you. And yes, we've even investigated Scientology Swash.

New episodes every month at MaximumFun.org. And yes, we've even investigated Scientology Swash! New episodes every month at MaximumFun.org Oh no, Ross and Kerry, they show up so you don't have to. Comedy, friendship, and creativity. All of this and more, wait for you at Max Funcon. Join us for Max Funcon and Lake Arrowhead next June, or Max Funcon East in the Polkino's next September. Tickets for both events are on sale now, but they're going fast.

Visit maxfuncon.com to buy your tickets right now. The flop house is sponsored in part by Mack Weldon. Mack Weldon, a clotheier, who believes in smart design, premium fabrics, and simple shopping. And boy, is that shopping simple, friends? Oh, it don't get any simpler than Mac Weldon's. You can whip out your phone, go to Mac Weldon. Go to Mac Weldon. Say, beep, boop, boop, and your phone.

Microphone. Siri takes you right there, and you go, what kind of undergarments do I want to slap on my bottom bits? Let me say something about Mac Weldon. I don't want you guys to have to think about what's covering my penis right now, but it's Mac Weldon underwear right now as I record this and it is super comfortable. Wrapped around like a tourniquet? Nope, that would imply there's something wrong with my penis and it clearly works. I have a son.

He's mine, right? Oh God. But the test said, don't think about it now. Don't think about it now. You're on the air. No, you're test said, don't think about it now. Don't think about it now, you're on the air. No, it's so blonde, Elliot. It's true, he is very blonde. He does, okay. He loves her labor. He loves locks. Doesn't look like me, yeah.

He's good at sports. I would not true, he's actually a little uncoordinated, but. And he's interested mainly in monsters and muppets right now. So if anything, very close to me, I think, yeah, it's the most comfortable underwear. It's super comfortable and you don't feel swampy at the end of the day. No. Got swampy feeling? No. Say goodbye to it. And it looks great. Goodbye swampy feeling, you say. Hey, you say, hey, swamp thing, get out of here.

Alec Holland. You're a fuck outta here. Hey, you'll go be part of the green, buddy. Here's the thing, Macwell didn't want you a fucking idiot. Hey, you'll go be part of the green, buddy. Here's the thing, Macwell doesn't want you to be comfortable. So if you don't like your first pair of underwear, you can keep it, and they'll refund you. No questions at all. Which is a funny offer though.

That means it's like, don't like that underwear? Keep it. You got an effigy to make and want to be cold and underpants or some reason? You can use these? Disposing that underwear you don't like is your problem now, but you're gonna like it because it's really, I guess, tell them you don't like it

so you can keep it because it's really good. You're gonna wear it all the time. Are you like Elliot and you're offended? There's a statue of Captain America. Well, why don't you put some underpants on him and laugh at it? I mean, I'm not offended. I think it's weird to have a statue for a very militarized

statue of a fictional character when let's let's get somewhere else Bill Mar. Let me just say let's just pick a name out of my hat that Elizabeth Robling who basically built the Brooklyn Bridge. There's no statue of her in Brooklyn and there should be. I've been wanting to put a petition out there but I don't know how to do it. Yeah, holding a giant shield and punching Hitler in the face. Oh wow, that's a really complicated statue. Go on, Dan. It's more of a challenge. It's more of a challenge. Macwellen's underwear, socks, shirts,

all their stuff looks good, but also performs well in all sorts of environments, working out, going to work, going on dates, just doing whatever, man. All the Star Wars environments, desert planet, cold planet, farce planet, foundry in a planet. Well, Cantinas on the desert planet.

Yeah, if you're gonna have to deny death sticks from Elon's least bagano. Well, if you want to try it out for yourself, go to Macwelldom.com and get 20% off using promo code flop. Flop, it's easy to remember because it's what the thing inside the Mac Weldon underpants will be doing unless they're underpants.

Just flopping around. Jesus. I highly recommend them. The podcast tonight is also sponsored by Zip Recruiter. Are you hiring? Do you know where to post your job to find the best candidates? Well, look, posting your job in one place isn't enough to find quality candidates.

That's foolish. Why would you think that you're going to get the best candidates just by putting it in one place where, you know, people aren't going to see that? What if the place is bestcanadates.com? That place is playing you for a fool, Elliot. Okay, now what if the place is on the bottom of a homeless man's shoe? Then you really are depending on the luck of the universe to provide you with the finest. What if I believe that certain dipty is when fate has a sense of humor? Then you're writing fucking movie posters.

That, I mean, plagiarizing them, yes. That would make me angry, by the way. How so explain. And I get back to Zip Recruiter. The whole point of the movie is. Explain how a movie based on a dessert restaurant got you angry. John Q. Sack and who's it?

Kate Begansale. The saliest, yeah. The Begansaleist. They have a great date together. They think of their own love. And they, Kate Begansale, I believe, writes her name in a book I copy of a book says if it's meant to be you'll find this book

That is bull that book Congo bum Michael So he's like, but I don't want that book to come back to me What it's got a talking gorilla name Amy. Yeah, that's pretty bad. I mean the most bad gorilla. The most bad gorilla Amy. Barely. No's hair man. Barely a talking gorilla. She has some kind of vocoder strap to her sign language arm.

If that's talking, well then I don't want to talk. If that's the future send me back to bedrock. Sorry, bedrock. So Dan, continue, tell us about a zippercrooter. So where should we recruit from? So Dan is hiring, what, somebody to be your footman or a man of balance? Yeah, Batman? Yeah, Batman. I want a personal Batman, my own personal Batman. Like the song. Your own personal Batman. That's gonna go so well.

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Dan, I believe we have a jumbo tron. We do have a jumbo tron message this week. We also have a jumbo tron message. If you'd like to get a message on jumumbo Tron, go to maxfun.org. Bizz. Forward slash Jumbo Tron. Maximumfun.org. Forward slash Jumbo Tron.

And this message is for Mark and it's from Netty. And the message is, I am missing you so much. I have resorted to wasting my time with the flop house. Front of the C is purported, gentlemen. These guys are my only support system right now. Can you see how desperate I've become? Oh well, thanks for the diversion flop buddies.

Mark, go give Nettie some company or something. Yeah. Yeah. Nettie shouldn't have to settle for us. Nettie doesn't, yeah, she shouldn't have to be using us as go-betweens. It's just like a frequency situation where Mark is in the past and she's in the future

or like a lake house. Yeah, or frequency. Yeah, I mean stewards version worked. Yeah. Don't know why I need to try to top him with a different one. You put this podcast in the mailbox and it goes back and forth. Here's what you do.

You put this podcast in Doc Brown's pocket. Then he delivers it 30 years from now Thanking you for saving him from a Libyans or whatever But then he drops the podcast on the ground and Biff picks it up Now he knows what movie we're gonna talk about in the future. He can bet on it Hey, Dan, can I plug something while we're at it? Sure. I'd like to plug my other podcast or rather Series it's called it's called, it's called Presidents or People 2, and then it me and my co-host Alexis Co talk about all the Presidents.

It's available through iTunes now, or you can go to Audible and Audible Originals, if you're an Amazon Prime member, you can get that way too, and listen to even more episodes. If you're an Audible member, you get all the episodes. iTunes takes a little bit longer. There's a little bit of a delay before the iTunes listeners get it. But new episodes are posted all the time. We got a bunch of good episodes. Maybe start out with our Teddy Roosevelt

or perhaps you could try our Richard Nixon or John F. Kennedy or hey, you know what? Go with like John Quincy Adams. Maybe somebody don't know so much. Just by the way. I'm Eric Presley. That's because every president gets their own individual episode

and we're gonna do all 45 of them. There are a couple of other short announcements that we should make. Number one, Martin Short is here. The, that's a short announcement. The, I just wanted to say that that we didn't do a Martin Short impression. The flop house.

Oh, announcement or two Martin Short has been shot. I'm so sorry. The flop house Facebook group, their charity drive, not drive. No, they're saying it's a charity drive. Maybe, hey, make it new. It's your thing now, boo. I'm straight-trimming, boo. Your tongue is.

Oh. The flop house Facebook. You're on fire tonight, dude. Bo. Your tongue is. The Flophouse Facebook. You're on fire tonight, dude. The Flophouse Facebook has organized a charity drive for Plant Parenthood. We mentioned it before. Plant Parenthood. If you want to donate. That's for the plant nurseries. You can go, we've got a link up on the site. But we also want to mention that we will be doing another live show, our live show. Energy, energy, dan enthusiasm. Yeah, so we're doing a show at the Alamo Drafthouse, the new Alamo Drafthouse in Brooklyn, New York. It's just open. Beautiful theater. It's great. The movie I'm recommending tonight. I saw there.

We're going to be doing a a rift show where we're going to be making jokes over the movie classic bad movie. What the boy next door is the boy next door. The boy next door starring J. L. O. and son fellow some abs delivery system. If you haven't seen this movie, it is hilarious and it goes crazy. Unfortunately, three Yahoo's are going to be talking over at the whole time their names Dan Stewart and Elliott. Tickets are going to go on sale on Monday. Yeah, the Monday after this episode comes out. That's come join us. It's a pretty small. Monday the 12th of December. I think it's going to be on sale, but it's going to be fun. The show is on.. I mean, it's always on... It's a stadium.

The show is on January the 14th. That's a Saturday. That's a Saturday. So if you did not get tickets to our Bellhouse show, January the 21st, which is sold out, never fear, there's another show at the Alamo, a different type of show, a movie riffing show on January the 14th, at the Alamo Drafthouse Brooklyn.

And guys, my riffing chops are pretty tight now after my mystery science theater. Oh, was that, oh, because you worked for a show? A television show, yeah. Oh, okay. So I'm also going to show that invented movie riffing. And I'm saying that as if I had anything to do with that, even though I was a child when it started.

I'm also going to plug something real quick. This toaster into the wall. I'm really daddying it up tonight. Another curveball of me, so I'm so hung at it. So the Max Von New York group is throwing a holiday party, their Candle Knights party, at my bar, Hinterlands on... In Brooklyn. In Brooklyn on December 17th, that's a Saturday night.

So if you want to come down, I know I'm going to be there, I know before the party, I think the party starts at 8th, there's going to be a holiday cookie exchange beforehand. Leard. And I think there's going gonna be a Yankee swap and my wife and I are organizing a silent auction with all the proceeds going to charity. Oh, very nice. So it should be fun.

Come on down to hinterlands, December 17th. If you haven't been to hinterlands, you don't even have to wait for December 17th, just go on down, it's a great bar. Speaking of candle lights, which is my brother and my brother and me thing. I know, it's called great bar. Speaking of candle lights, which is my brother, my brother and me thing. I know, it's called Hanukkah. I just want to say, Jordan Jesse Go.

Jesse said some very nice things about us in the last Jordan Jesse Go about how our show has helped him through some tough times as he has been unhappy about the post-election world. And I just wanted to say in reciprocation the same goes for his show and also my brother and my brother and me. So Jordan Jesse go and my brother and my brother and me, great shows that have helped me cheer up and just two of the shows on the maximum fun network, which happens to be our network.

Which has a lot of great shows. A lot of the shows on the maximum fun network, which happens to be our network. Which has a lot of great shows. A lot of great shows. So including the adventure zone that I was recently a guest on. That's true. And Judge John Hodgman, which I was the guest on a while back. Synergy. He's turned into like a team in there. All sorts of digital effects were going on with Dan's face that you couldn't see just then.

But now that we're done with all of that stuff we should move along. That was a lot of plugs. A lot of plugs. But I thought there were good plugs, we plugged good stuff. Yeah, we're like a couple of circuitry mains. Circuitry's men. Well, it's getting a lot of air time on this podcast. He should be paying us. Stuart, did you know, I don't know if you still can.

There was a period when he was part of a stable of actors where you could pay him to talk on the phone with him for a half hour. That's fucking awesome. Or you could buy a call from Vernon Welles to somebody. I would totally do that. I'll look out the information. I'm gonna see.

For a few years now, I've been considering doing that for your first time. My god, that would be incredible. And I've been like, is this something Stuart would really like? Or I don't know. Oh man, that would be awesome. Because I remember the rates being very reasonable. Now that you mentioned it, he's going to blow up and his rates are going to go down.

Vernon Wells' time, less valuable than you'd think. That's not true. Continue down. We should move along to our next segment. Moving along, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. We should move along to our next segment. Moving right along, ninging, ninging, ninging, Which is the next segment now. The next segment.

It's the letters segment. The letters segment. With letters from you. All right, thank you. So before we get into the letters proper, we should, no, we've got. All right, I'll sing a fuller song, letters. We got the letters for us.

No, we have these gifts. All right, I'll sing a fuller song letters. We got the letters for us. Okay. We have these gifts, this nice holiday gifts from Jason last name with Held, which I feel like we should open now. So opening things on air as always gonna go great, you can hear the paper. Oh, fully, fully. Look at these presents.

If Held Up Against That Tree would look like a modern Judea It would look like some kind of futuristic city. Oh man. This is great. I love it Whoa So what I have here is I've got a blue ray special edition criterion collection edition of beyond the Valley of the dolls written by Roger Ebert. Yeah. I have got a one-and-a-sane.

No, I find film, I'm very excited. I have a Blu-ray of the Sunshine's Bright, which is a John Ford movie I have not seen. Which it mentions on the back is a remake of Judge Priest, which I have seen. But I'm not familiar with this one at all, so I'm curious to see it. Thank you. This Judge Priest in Mega City 1 or Mega City 3. Go! And I have a great copy of John Carpenter's Elvis. Oh!

The Carpenter movie I've never seen. Holy crap, that's amazing. Yeah. Where Kurt Russell plays Elvis. The movie he met Kurt Russell on, right? As I said, I don't know. So we're going to find out. These are really, these are really great picks, I think.

Thank you, Jason. Wow. Thank you, Jason. You know us. It'll be funny if John Carpenter decided to do the score for the Elvis movie, too. And so Elvis is just performing like songs from the big trouble little China soundtrack.

And who's that guy over there? Try OK. Play us a song. Big trouble. Little China. But moving into thank you, Jason, everyone. Yeah, thank you very much. Moving into the letters. Now it's time for the real letters gifts on the side. Thanks for those gifts.

And now here we're giving a gift to you in the form of reading letters. Thanks. I still have it tonight. That's right. I mean, no, we've had a number of songs. They've just been very short. Yeah, short and sweet, like an anal count song.

Um, is that a band? Yeah, duh. Oh yeah, I forgot they're the number one band in the country. Don't worry. Don't you watch TRL? So this is just imagining that band being on TRL. This is from Name With Hell because I didn't even put the first name on here.

Professionally. Super professional. Somebody's been on Zipper Grooter. Hey, flop Tarts. I was recently thinking about the zombie film, 28 days later, which I've received to have a radical shift in tone halfway through. We know radical shift in tone.

When he started all those zombies, he started skateboarding. That's when Sandra Billock turns into a zombie. Yeah. Wagahwagahwagahwagah. I always 28 days joke. Radical ships halfway through. One, come on.

At first, it seemed like a movie and thoughtful post-apocalyptic story with grounded characters before turning into a pulpy over-the-top Gore Fest when the military shows up. I kind of feel the tonal shift was supposed to complement the narrative twist, but it just when the military shows up. I kind of feel the tone shift was supposed to complement the narrative twist, but it just spoiled the movie for me, like if there was a fart joke in Citizen Kane, but the fart joke is the entire second half. I will mention that there is a fart joke

in the Great Gatsby. Can you think of any movies with wildly inconsistent tones or huge shifts in tone that actually benefit from the inconsistency? You're all the best, especially Elliott. Oh, thank you. huge shifts in tone that actually benefit from the inconsistency. You're all the best, especially Elliott. Oh, thank you. Well, Stuart mentioned...

You misspelled your name, so. You did to me. Stuart mentioned about Dition earlier in the episode. Yeah, Dition is the gold standard for a tone shift. For like extreme tone shifts that pay off really well. I'm a big fan of something wild that starts off like a scruple, sex comedy, and then turns into a tense thriller when Raleota comes in as a crazy ex-boyfriend. Not quite as radically like the apartment is similar in that it starts,

it seems to start out as kind of like a goofy sex farce, but becomes a story about like attempted suicide and real heartbreak and thing and like what it means to be a human being. That one's less abrupt in terms of the overt tone but in terms of subject matter it's a real shift. Then there are really overt movies with a shift like from dust tell dawn. I was going to just say that. Well, but that's like a that's not so much a tone shift is just like the plot. It's like two movies got smashed together. I love the shift in from Dustel Dawn, but I remember watching that movie in the theater and when the vampires showed up, my friend leaned over to me and goes,

I think this film just took a turn for the stupider. Except all the commercials for the movie made it clear that it was a vampire movie. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but it also got like, it also gets way wackier. That's true. You know, it does get silly. Certainly, I mean, Tom Savini has a penis gun in that movie. Yeah, but that's before the vampires get there. Okay, I guess you're right.

But the like Laura Gremlins II is kind of similar and that it starts out as kind of like a silly horror movie. And that horror movie starts as a silly monster movie and then becomes literally a live action cartoon. It pushes the silliness so far. I remember when I was a kid that was like a bridge too far. I love Grimmelunds II now, but when I was a kid I was like, I wanted a scary movie.

And then it got so silly. I loved it so much. That was like heaven for me. Dude, I went eaveshift for Grand Lens too. I had like all the collectible cards and I kept them in a fucking sleeved binder in order. Who was your favorite Grand Leningrad? Grand Lens 2, Dan.

I liked the spider, Grand Lens. Really? Not the crazy Grand Lens? Grand Lens would pretend to be a dentist? He's awesome. He's great. And by the way, he's awesome he's great ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in his hand. Oh, no, that's terrifying. I'm kind of shocked that Dan's favorite, Gremlin isn't the most obvious one, the Lady Gremlin. Yeah, actually, you're right, because I'm sure there were plenty lonely nights as it would then.

Was it solest of I thought of being Robert Picardo at the end? When I was at Lady Gremlin. When I know when I was a kid, I was like, that's the stupidest thing. Girls and girls. Yeah. They got a Gremlin with cooties. Oh, wow. It's a little dice man, Jedi.

Dice man watching Reface too. A Karina Karina duck. The tone shift of this movie is, oh. I'm trying to think there are other, there are movies that are slipping my mind right now that go that where there's an abrupt shift that works out real well, either from comedy to drama or it's rarer

to go from drama to comedy. But for a movie that starts out silly and becomes very serious, I feel like that it all happens and pays off quite a bit. I tend to like a tone chip movie. I don't know, I find that any movie that's like brave enough to do that Usually is pretty confidence and also to be often it like the older I get the more the faster I get bored with movies in a way

Yeah, and so from movies shows me something different at a certain point. I'm like, okay great It's like I'm watching another movie already. Yeah, you become disensitized to the thing that you love I mean, I don't know exactly put, but in that way, but maybe... You have to find new and crazier delights to stimulate yourself. I mean, that is... Travel to the far east and find this magical puzzle box. No, don't finish it. Don't complete it.

What's it called, the what's it called sequence? I wasn't gonna finish the joke for fear that pinhead and his buddies... No! But, uh, that's kind of what happens with bad movies, with people watch a lot of bad movies, is that they have to watch crazier and kind of grocer bad movies

to get that same thrill of like, oh, what? And that's when I found myself reading like Zines or websites about crazy movies, but at a certain point it's like, mm, you know what, I've learned more about this Italian hardcore zombie horror film from the 70s than I want to. I'm not going to watch this.

I think I'll just learn about something else now. Yeah, when you become like a surcher of extremity, you begin to, I think everybody reaches a point where you realize that extremity for extremity's sake is not really worth it. And that you want more nuance. Yeah. And there's no subtlety to your brutality. If there's not a metal band the day after this is released called searcher of extremity,

very disappointed. They're going to be opening for Vigenda of Manoside. This next letter is from Peter last name with held. Pumpkinator. He says, I just had an Elliot siding in parts slope tonight. It was super exciting. It's the same way for my family. My friends and I were in a chocolate bar hanging out talking shit. Wait, is the chocolate bar in like a giant chocolate bar? That's right, they're inside of Snickers.

It's like the poster for Sack Lunch from Sightful. How they get that bag? I mean, is it a really big bag? I love that that's, she like can't deal. She can't even conceive of the idea that the fans are meant for her. It must be a literal representation of what happens in the movie's sack lunch. They're the best fake movies on that sack lunch and

channel and death below. So to continue, my friends and I were in a chocolate bar hanging out talking shit after an outstanding meal at Bareburger, went in, walked out, and walked out, and walked out with his friends, just hanging out, talking shit. I pulled out my phone and showed my friends, Hey, one of those dudes is on this podcast. I ultimately left without saying anything to Elliot. Much like the time I saw John Mulaney carrying laundry detergent outside big lows on 6th Avenue. Because really, what is there to say? I mean, that's a much better celebrity sighting than me, but... Have you guys ever...

Have you guys ever not said something to a famous person? Also, who else should I put on my star map in Park Slope? I've obviously seen Maggie Gillingall and Gorilla Coffee and Peter Sarsgard at Barc Hot Dogs. I know that. Barc has since closed, but. I know that, man. I mean, it could have seen it when Barc was open.

I know, I'm just saying don't go to Barc Hot Dogs expecting to see Peter Sarsgard, because he's not gonna be there anymore, because it doesn't exist anymore. So if I can go to Hogwarts and get dogs expecting to see yeah it's not gonna be a source guard because he's not gonna be there anymore because it doesn't exist anymore. So if I fucking go to Hogwarts and get a time-turner. I know that Vince from Oderage is a co-op member. Oh I didn't know that.

Might I see John Hodgman at key food one day? No, he'll see him at Union Market. Since he was years in Floppetood, Peter last name. You know just look for the killer cabs. I mean there's a lot of I mean i see you seen a not talk to uh... well steve samey in park slope steve semi i walked by him on the street and he seemed it was very clear he was not inter he would just had stuff to do and he was

not interested in talking to anyone recognized him so i just like okay i don't recognize you john turtler seen a number of times talking to himself walking in a traffic just whistling loudly. I walked past, I was walking through Park Slope and it was a Saturday afternoon and I was with some people and we walked past a Sir Patrick Stewart. Oh yeah, because he lives in the neighborhood. No. And he was wearing like a news boy cat. His wife Martha Stewart. And I looked at him, did a double take. I probably did like an awook.

And, uh, you guys turned into enterprises and then back again. So I did a double take and made eye contact with him. And he kind of lowered his head and like touched his cap. Uh, and I didn't say anything. Oh, that's nice. Cause I'm sure he saw me and was like, that's the exact kind of motherfucker that's gonna blow up my spot.

Yeah, and make it so anyway, I'll gotta get going. I was at that bar, the bull moose, or something like that. Do you know what I'm talking about? About the ones in your times Square. The bar we used to go to after... After comedy shows, yeah. And I saw Peter Dinklage there with a woman who had a very significant whale tail on her thong.

So what were you more excited about? What caught your eye first? I saw Peter Dinklage there with a woman who had a very significant whale tail on her thong. So what were you more excited about? What caught your eye first? Was it seeing the star of a show that is famous and is also easy to pick out in the crowd? Let's just say, or was it seeing... Was it seeing Peter Dinklage? Was it seeing her visible underpants? I was six or one.

So I saw Peter Dinklage that one and I also was walking down the street once and I saw Bob Costis and he gave me a look like, yeah, I'm Bob Costis. I'm gonna make a big deal out of it. And I was like, who the fuck cares? Like boy, you are barking at the wrong tree Bob Costis. You're like, I don't care about sports,

stop dying your hair old man. Exactly're like, I don't care about sports. Stop dying your hair, old man. Exactly. Well, you fucking showed him. But there have been a lot of times where there are celebrities I wish I had said something to, like get the fuck out of my way. No, that I wish I had introduced myself to, but I was too nervous to. At the writers' guild awards last year, Frank Conif was there, and I was just too nervous to introduce myself to him, because I didn't know how to approach him.

Yeah, if we're talking about celebrity regrets, when we were at the Emmys the last time for John winning for John Cho, it wasn't that time. I think it was the time before that actually Tatiana Maslani was there and I would have dearly loved to like gone up to. There was a time when I was we here we had won and we were I was walking into the governor's ball and Bob Odenkirk Was like right in front of me and I was like and I wanted to introduce myself to him so badly come such I'm been a fan of his you know for 20 years more than that But it's I was like I can't do it and it was if ever there was like, you're like a bit from the Ben Stealer show you don't come here.

So do one of your 60 second conspiracy theories, but like do the electric car one. But I had an Emmy in my hand, and I felt like I did not have the confidence to introduce, to like introduce myself to him. He has a fan, like, uh, terrible. But in Park Slope. I have a few.

But then again, too few to make. But Park Slope's full celebrities come on down and people cite you shake the buildings and they all come to blend out. Falling out. Yeah. Especially if there's D.B. Samuel your John DeGro. So this next one is from Nick Lassnay with Held. Lise. He says, After finally delving through every episode in the Flop House archives, I set out to find another bad movie podcast, so listen to it in between episodes. In an act of what can only be described as brand loyalty,

I decided to forego the obvious how did this get made and instead settled on the worst idea of all-time podcast. If you weren't familiar it's the podcast where two New Zealand comedians get together and watch the same bad movie once a week for a year and document their descent into madness. Assuming this in some way doesn't violate- That sounds fucking brutal man. Podcasting once a week assuming this is that sound picked up on it assuming this in some way doesn't

violate the 8th amendment which they apparently don't have in New Zealand what previously flopped movie would you three watch every week for a year? Nick last name withheld. PS, I gently caress the door knob in a firm get-central manner. Did I win Radio Zork? Uh, can't do a Trojan horse, Radio Zork, uh, maneuver, that doesn't work. Nope. Shut it down, Dan. Shut it all completely down. I mean, I think the answer's pretty clear, guys.

It's Brad's the movie. I mean, that'd be... You're right, it is Brad. I think that's also the movie we've watched the most times. Oh, they're tango and cash. Yeah, I mean... Oh, tango and cash, that's a good... I don't actually can say that, though.

I feel like... But we watched that knowing that we love it. Yeah, that's fair. We watch that for fun, Zeus. I feel like that would be like a tax loophole in this thing to be like, hey, technically it's legal. Yeah, but you're not supposed to do it that way. Whatever. But I would say maybe no deposit.

Oh, right. I could watch that watch the week. That was fun. I know who killed me was pretty fun. Actually the week. I know who killed me was pretty fun. Actually I know who killed me was pretty fun too. And that brings back good memories of the first time Ellie was on the show. Yeah, it's a special movie in my heart for that reason. Well movie has the most butts. Fifth of shade of a gray. Yeah, probably. I has like a butt in it. And we haven't had much that. Yeah, but a lot of times, the same but, multiple times. And that doesn't count as extra butts. You count butts your way and I'll count them on.

With this butt sense, this is never gonna get off the ground. I think you're right though, I think you got it in one. I think Brad's in. Brad's, yeah. Brad's, yeah. It's as a certain jua to v that I enjoy enjoy I find myself thinking about the songs from that movie more often than I'd like to they're not particularly good songs. They're very catchy. Do you ever do you ever have nightmares that your wife is going to come home and catch you and Sammy watching the Brats movie and Sammy's like singing along with the songs and everything I thought you're going gonna say, do you ever have nightmares to your wife's a brat?

Then I just turn over and bed and she's got huge distorted eyes and am like, and almost no, like, it's like stick then, that would be horrifying. But right now, my son's new thing now is the songs from Frozen. Uh huh. So, I mean, the brat songs are not that far out of the general ballpark.

In terms of quality, there's a real difference. But I can see it happening. And you know what? I'd support him every step of the way because he's got an attention span of about three weeks and then it'll be on to something else. The last letter of the evening is from Christopher last name with hell cross It's titled movie idea for Stuart movie Singing it as a Tyson I mean that's more Michael McDonald's

I mean, that's more Mike of McDonald's, but that's okay. Oh, I'm cheese stew, dude. Yep. A movie where a regular dude falls in love with a cartoon hottie, like a regular Jessica rabbit hottie. Oh yeah, humans and cartoons exist together. And they have a baby, and the baby is CGI. Okay. Also, they have to stop a real estate developer

from steamrolling a cartoon estate developer, mostly because cartoon housing is cheaper, and you can't charge as much for it. That's pretty much all I got cheaper and you can't charge as much for it. Or pretty much the same thing. Oh, and expect a lot of cartoon nudity. Chris, for last name with help. Sounds great, dude. Wait, so Stuart in this movie?

I don't know. Or he's just watching this movie. See, I'm just the most narrow of narrow casting. Now, if you ever seen the show Shark Tank? Because that's just what you witnessed here today, boys. I am a Shark Style investor, sitting on my plinth on my deus, judging all those before me. And what he just did is he did what they call

in the business, an elevator pitch. Right, guys, that's what they call it. I don't know what business. I don't know, movie making. I like to, I'd like to imagine a shark tank where Ralph Bakshi is one of the investors. So it's like, so this is a product that it keeps food fresh. When do the cartoon boobs come into it? If I could be on a show where I get to sit on a stage with Ralph Bakshi and people pitch cartoon

porn or movie ideas to us. That would be amazing. I am sure Spike could find room for it in its lineup. Yeah, definitely. Come on. Between all the inkmasters spin-offs. What is the S-squire network?

Does that still exist? Probably. But thank you, I guess, for that movie fetch. Dan says that as if he did not read the letter at all before choosing it. Sometimes the letters choose me. Mmm, yoda over here. Mmm, yoda. We'll go back it up, yoda.

Looking good, y Yoda Look in real nice Put that gnarled walking stick down and What's up under that robe and just stop stealing that space travelers nutrients I was always fucking wondering what those tasted like, because he's into it, do you? You really like some, but you have to believe that he's eaten nothing but like boiled bark stew for a hundred years. Actually not a hundred years, 20 years, because they inserted him into the prequel timeline.

You know? So disappointing. I kind of always assumed that he was like, like one of those holy fool types. Like a wise man who was also kind of like not fit for normal society because he's so crazy. Yeah. But it turns out like he's just hiding. Yeah, he's just in hiding and he was as sensible as anything.

He's like the little frog ninja that kills clone troopers super easy. Yeah. And says around the Jedi of perimeter make or whatever. Anyway, so. It all these planes in that Yoda solo film that comes up, when he marries Han Solo and becomes Yoda Solo, he takes Han's last name. So this is the last segment of the podcast where we recommend a movie that we actually like.

Now we enjoyed saving Christmas for its bad qualities, but what are some movies we enjoyed for their good qualities? I guess I'll go. I've watched a lot of movies recently. How many planes did you fly on? How many movies was it? No, I was just hanging out. So many movies. I was just hanging out around the house and I had a lot of free time. So, whoa, sorry, dude. Yeah. Am I reading my struggle? Well, how

detailed is this? I watched everybody want some, which Stuart already recommended. But I loved it. I'll take 10 of those over another boyhood. You know who wants some, Dan? Yeah, Dan. I watched Don't Think Twice, which was okay. You know. So think twice about watching that one. It was fine.

You know, it had, it was, you know, like it's about New York improv culture. Oh, that's that movie, okay. Yeah, and so I was like, well, a lot of this movie speaks to me directly, but then again, there's like a lot of it that's just like really like wackily like wrong. Like I'm just like, why does this whole improv troupe live together in a house?

That seems strange. I know, because they want to stop being polite and start getting improvisational. Maybe that's how they're going to win their inheritance. Is it a haunted house? Yes. You have to do an improv show in a haunted house. Sounds like a tale soon to the script episode.

I saw Elle. I guess so. The Paul Barrow movie, which was really well acted and directed. I'm still not quite sure what the movie was saying, which is why I'm not. I'm saying, run out and read Elle magazine. I'm not quite recommending it, even though I think it's really worth watching. So are you watching the nominees that didn't win the award? Yeah.

Are you recommending it from Dan? So I'm gonna go back on a movie that I've seen before, but I watched again recently. I saw at the Metrograph here in New York. What was the weather like that day? I said. I'm gonna, how much money was in your pocket when you were sitting there? I rewatched the squid and the whale.

The swan, the swan, the swan, which you just said. The swan, which fuck this human pocket. Yeah. That's probably swan, which is like a sandwich with a swan in it. Mm-hmm. I saw the squid and the whale with Noah Bombak That's probably so in which it's like a sandwich with a swan in it. I saw the squid in the whale with Noah Bombak in attendance doing a Q&A afterwards. So you recommend going to see a squid in the whale with Noah Bombak, doesn't it? Yeah, exactly.

No, I recommend squid in the whale. I know that Elliot, you have mixed feelings about it. Yeah, it doesn't. I mean, for me, it was not a wholly fulfilling experience. Maybe if I watch it again, maybe I'll feel differently. I felt like I didn't get a hole from it. Yeah, it doesn't, I mean, for me, it was not a holy, fulfilling experience. Maybe if I watch it again, maybe I'll feel differently. I felt, I mean, I didn't feel like I didn't get a hole from it. You could use more yucks or jokes. Well, I think it's a short story of a movie rather than like a novel of a movie. And I think that's okay sometimes. It can be, I also take, I mean, I shouldn't harp on this, but like, it is very hard for

me to buy into nobody knowing that he didn't write that song. Oh yeah. That like nobody recognizes that song seems crazy to me. I mean, they do figure it out later in the movie, but yeah, it is. That it went, the minute he was playing it, someone didn't stand up and go, that's not your song. That's from the wall.

Like, I imagine him just saying they're going like, I wrote this song, okay, everybody. Shake it a baby now, shake it a baby. You know what I mean? Like he's a genius. Okay, here's another song that I wrote. Okay, you ain't nothing but a hound dog. Oh, this guy's great. So many different genres.

It's like a jungle sometimes, I really wonder how I keep from going under. Okay, great. Like, how many songs is this gonna steal? But it's not a bad movie. It didn't didn't work for me personally but I'm not everybody if you're every woman but otherwise you know if you haven't seen it quickly it's about a family that's divorcing Jeff Daniels and Laura Lenny are the parents and Jesse Eisenberg is the older sibling and I believe it's a it's a very

inclined kid is the younger sibling it's a very Kevin Klein's kid is the younger sibling. It's a very specific type of like Like 70s 80s Brooklyn is like 1983 in their Park Slope and Jeff Bridges is a Kind of a monster like an intellectual monster Jeff Daniels. Sorry Jeff Daniels Jeff Bridges the monsters all outside He knows what he did to me. He's got a crazy heart. I don't know what you're talking about me. And uh, the phantasm story Jeff Bridges. Oh wow, he's rattling his chains. Old man Bridges is back. He who summoned to me. Just spoke my name four times. Jesse Isaac bridge, you best not cross.

Jesse Eisenberg sympathizes more with his father, Jeff Daniels, even though Jeff Daniels is kind of self-evidently the worst. But you know, it's a young man who doesn't know enough about the world quite yet and idolizes his father and is learning like, oh everyone's imperfect. And maybe I need to give my mom a break and maybe I love my dad who's not who I think he is. And it's that process of figuring that out. That's the movie about maturing. And it's, look, it's inspired by one of my favorite

dioramas at the Museum of Natural History. So it's got that going for it. Yeah, so it's squint in the whale. That's my recommendation. So, Ellie, do you got 20 minutes for the recommendations? I just should look, okay. So my recommendation begins on a cold February night

1973 every movie that I brought up really it's grand parents every movie I brought up was a value every movie I brought up was If I to tell you to tell you about the movie that I'm gonna recommend we're really gonna have to go back to ancient Babylon Where it seems I'm gonna recommend a movie that's probably still in the theaters as we talk now. It is a sci-fi flick by the name of Arrival, and it's the story of Amy Adams as- No spoilers. No spoilers, the story of Amy Adams.

No spoilers, Amy Adams is in it. As a linguist who is enlisted when mysterious aliens appear over different points in the earth and the first step to figuring out what is going on is communicating with them. And everyone's having trouble figuring out how to communicate with these aliens and she is enlisted to unlock this puzzle. And by doing so, discovers more than she intended. And I've been looking forward to this move for a long time. I was a big fan of the story that it's based off of. And they kind of movieed it up a little bit,

but in a way that mostly worked for me. And I've heard a lot of people complaining to me that the ending is a little too on the nose, but that wasn't really a problem for me. Like the ending is very sentimental in a way that I found very moving, and I could see how it might be too, on the nose, over the top for some people,

but it's directed by Dennis Villeneuve, who is my past favorite. The previous film, his last one was Prisoners, right? Oh no, his last one was... No, his last one was... It was Sicario his last one was... No, the last one was... Was... Yeah. Which I liked.

Prisoners I didn't like, Sikario, I liked... This movie I like even more than those two. And I found that his style, which is very dark and very ominous, combined with a story that is hopeful more than it is bleak, was a really good combination for me. It brought gravity to the story, but without dragging it down too much. So, rival, I really liked.

Kind of like the opposite of Zack Snyder's man of steel, kind of. Yeah, kind of. You tried to drape everything in seriousness, but also try and tell a story of a magical space man. A magical space man who wears his pajamas when he punches mancrovers. Yeah.

And murder's Michael Shannon's. Hey dudes, I'm going to recommend a nice short little nasty piece of work like saving Christmas. It's called saving Christmas. I'm going to recommend a recently released thriller, a thrill ride called Don't Breathe. This was produced by Sam Remy's company that has been handling a couple of small tight little movies like the Evil Dead remake. And what do you like? I don't know. He's a tight little movie. I don't like that. Okay, I'll stop. Okay, so this is a little thriller about

three kind of down on their luck young young kids who are Our right to do a dance recital to save the community center And so they're going to recital pretty official. So they, these three kids are trying to get out of Detroit and make a little money. So they are robbing houses. And they have access to these houses

because one of the kids' fathers works for a security company. And they get a hot tip on a blind's home who is sitting on a bunch of money after his daughter was killed in a car accident. And so they break into this guy's home and get more than they bargained for. So it's a very tense little movie. It uses a little bit of cinematic flourishes. But for the most part, I think it, any cinematic techniques and shots and camera movements, all that stuff, I think, it works to better the plot and raise the tension as opposed to some shit

where a camera flies through a keyhole or something, which just kind of takes you out of the thing. It almost reminds me more of some of the tricks that Dave Fincher used in Panic Room. Yeah, I think so. Doesn't the camera fly through a mug handle in Panic Room? Yeah. But for some reason it works in Panic Room.

Let me David Fincher knows what he's doing. Yeah. Except when he made Bungeman Bun. And the blind veteran is played by Steven Lang, who is famously pitched himself to play cable in a future movie, cable to Marvel Super Theater. Marvel Super Theater.

Not cable, the thing that you plug into other things. Yeah, that would be great of that though. But he gives this amazing performance. And I will say there is a twist near the end of the movie that is a little crazy and is some would find very off-putting. So yeah, you should. I think Warren people that there is what is essentially an attempted rape scene in the movie. Yeah, what it is. Yeah, that's fair. That's what I do. Upset you to the point that you could not watch the movie.

Yes, that's fair. Dan, that is a good thing to warn people about. Yeah, it's pretty rough. Okay, so don't breathe. I'm a down-to-down. So not one for the family. No. Put it, pop it in this Christmas.

Pop some popcorn. Pop some reddened boggers. Get granny, get pop pop on the couch Get a little Timmy and little little Jesse and little Betsy and just pop in don't breathe Heartwarming Popping Pop it off pop it off just pop it off, just pop some bottles. Pop around, paparazzi. Mm-hmm, drink some pop.

Just use the papamatic to pop the dice. No, man, we have done everything now. That was everything we could do this year. We have done everything in the world. There's no thing we didn't do. You know, this has been a pretty short episode for us, but it's also longer than the fucking movie again. Again, I would continue our streak of talking longer than the movie. Yeah.

Well, if any final thoughts, Dan, hey, guys, before you exit this mortal plane, we get to each other this holiday season, right? You know, hey, let's not be excellent to each other and party on, dude. All right, never mind. I won't get heartfelt because Dan didn't. I fell for the old Dan inability to express his emotions, dude. All right, never mind, I won't get heartfelt, because Dan didn't. I fell for the old Dan inability to express his emotions, honestly.

You could be heartfelt. I give you permission. Look, I've said a lot about, I've said something heartfelt. Dan all slides him sunglasses on his face. It's you some gun. I don't celebrate Christmas. I said I'll wear my own stuff, but a lot of people do celebrate Christmas.

The point is, any excuse you can find to do something good for somebody else, to be good to somebody else, and to think about what you're lucky to have or what you're grateful to have is a good thing to do. So if that means it's because it's the holidays, if that means because it's cold outside and you want to snuggle up that much closer, it doesn't matter. Let's take this time to try to give ourselves a reason to be better people, to be the best week and be the people around us, and the rest of the world, and then let's take that feeling and let's continue it beyond the holiday season into the year 2017, because we're gonna have enough problems in the year 2017. Let's all try to be our best selves and just keep running with it.

And I think we're all gonna be a lot happier that way and we're gonna make other people happy that way too. And that's all I'll say. That's a pretty good setup for this, for that letter writing campaign, everybody starting to write letters to the Mando Corporation so they'll mail me a complimentary Phantasm Ball Christmas tree ornament. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about when I say that is right to the Mando company and

demand a free Phantasm ornament for a stuart. For a stuart, not for you, this is for a stuart. Yeah, come on, think about others at this time of need. All right, it's been great. We'll see you next time for the flop house. I've been Dan McCoy. Hey, you know what? I've been Stewart Wellington. And on second thought, I'm Elliot Kaelin. Goodnight everyone. And then we do the regular show and then we make it up as we go along. We're just doing it to it

Hippin and hop in it Pippin and pop in it. They've been a boopin and boopin Robins go open. This is sammy's new thing by the way is making it rhymes. So all dinner he was going He's like you have a chair or you have a Claire Mm-hmm. You eat your cheese or you eat your player. Eat your cheese or you eat your pee. I can just think that most of them is like your hair is a zare. Just like made up nonsense. It's really funny. It does for a long time. It's like mom spaghetti. Belpes are getting. It's still getting. Betty spaghetti. League of their own. All right. League of their own fully grown. Settied. Itch and moan. Settied. Getty on the setty. Eat and spaghetti. Hands are sweaty. Fred and Betty. Oh, I guess it, well, Fred shouldn't be with Betty. Well, we don't know. We don't know what's happening with that.

So they went to a key party and they put their little rock, the rock key. It was a rock party. You couldn't tell the difference between the rocks. There has to be some unproduced script someone at Hanover Barbera wrote for fun where Fred and Barney Swabwives, it has to exist. Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture. Art is Doned. our Barbarra wrote for fun where Fred and Barney swab wives, it has to exist.