The Flop House - Ep. #224 - Zoolander 2

Episode Date: February 18, 2017

  We think this one broke Elliott, guys. We watched the only film Leonard Maltin walked out on: Zoolander 2. Meanwhile Dan totally nails a Mario impression, Stuart decides which Roger Rabbit weasel he is, and Elliott admits his fedora-wearing past. Wikipedia synopsis for Zoolander 2 Movies recommended in this episode: A Shot in the Dark Postcards from the Edge Love & Anarchy

On this episode we discuss Zoolander 2. Why? Jesus. There's other people in this apartment building. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey guys, I'm Stuart Willington. Wow, there's a cool guy over there, but I'm not, oh, it's me, Ellie Cainland. Oh boy, look at this, nerdling her over here. What are we doing there guys, what cool things we do? Yeah, nothing, there's always extra, get outta here.

Oh man. I thought he was a clown at first. They won't laugh at me in the future. My name is Point Dextromeal a lot. Buster Point Dextrome. And that's the story. That's how it happened. Welcome to this week's episode of That's How It Happened. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Dan McCoy. And I'm Elliot Kaylen. And we're the hosts of. And that's how it happened.

The show that tells you how it happened. And also. That's today show, the Flaw House, how did that happen? Well, we watched a bad movie and then we talked about it. That's how it happened. That's how it works. Can I just take a moment to say, there's a thrill that I didn't think I'd experienced this early in my son's life, which he's just turned three. The thrill of him turning me in saying, which I'm just pushing him in the stroller down the street.

And for hearing him turn to me and say, Daddy, remember that that's how it works, song that you sang? Yeah, I do. Can you sing it to me? And my heart grew a thousand times its size. And the rest of the night was spent me singing, that's how it works to my son.

And then he would say, speak in a birthday's, remember the whole thing. Yeah. So you're a real hitmaker. Among my son, you're like, you're like,

you're like Motown. My songs are on the lips of all the my sons there are. You're like, rock city USA or whatever. Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever that is. I'm imagining you pushing your son and his stroller through the streets of Park Slope, singing that's how it works works and shutters are being slammed

Roll down gates are hastily pulled down an alligator peeks out of the out of the sewers and goes Oh, and then pulls the manhole cover over itself a squirrel Yeah jumps into a tree and then blinds shut over the not hole. There's a fancy dinner party and people's wine glasses Shatter sure the not whole. There's a fancy dinner party and people's wine glass is shatter. Sure. A greedy voice comes filtering through the window. Dark man recedes back into the alleyway that he was picking out of the statue of Liberty snaps her torch into and stuffs them in her ears. Pretty accurate.

So yeah, what do we do here, Dan? I just said it. Say it again. Say it again. Just fucking say it again. Say it again. I dare you. I double dog dare you. You're doing it.

You have to eat two dogs. You do it. We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Guys, we watch the movie tonight. Did we? Like we watched, I like I'm gonna do you guys help summarize this movie night because so much of it flowed out of my ears. It's like it flew it but flowed in my ear and my brain and then

in my eyes and then my brain went no not letting you in. Yeah. This is not entering the memory banks and then flooded right out of my other ear. Yeah you were so much whacked. Yeah you were standing out in the rain storm that was this movie, occasional chunks of hail mixed in with the rain. Those were the jokes. Scraining to the heavens. Tearing at my undershirt yelling Stella, or maybe this is that scene in school time.

Or this could be a cliche version. Or raising Arizona, anything where people are yelling in the rain. Yeah. I'm yelling in the rain. Yeah I'm yelling in the rain. Just yell In the rain I left my keys inside and I can't get out of the rain Please open the door. I don't want to be outside anymore. I'm yelling. I touched my mom back.

The rain dedicated to Debbie Reynolds. Come on, she's a listener. My mom. I think the Debbie Reynolds. Yeah. Oh, man, she's listening from beyond the grave. She's a hear this room right now. Speaking of, she's in here in this room right now. Speaking of, let's start at the end of this movie.

The credits of this movie are a fan, are horror-wile. But at the end, they dedicated to, and then a person. And I can think of, what a 90s-sino-taff. No larger slap to a corpse's face that dev Zoolander too dedicated to their memory. What a memory of the fallen. There's some, there's some great memorials out there. The Sphinx.

Yeah, yeah, the Washington memorial and then we call the Washington lander and then two later to through the portal. Look upon you by works, he might have despair. So we watch zoooolander 2. Now we were drawn to this movie in the way that you're drawn to an endurance test because let me just admit something right here. I'm a Zoolander Virgin.

I still have never seen the first one. So now that I pause for the audience to gasp and shock that I didn't see one of the defining movies of I guess my classic college. Earbuds are being ripped out of ears right now. And yet that came out. So all I knew about Zoolander II was, this is the one movie Leonard Molten has walked out of in his entire career as a reviewer.

So bring us down. I believe that Zoolander came out right after 9-11. Yes. And that was part of why it was like an underperforming film. It became a cult hit afterwards. But I do remember I was down in Savannah during my brief stint in film school, and I was very depressed, and I would go to see movies

all the time, and it was right after... So I had a car in Mint, Ju-Lips. Yeah, I remember being right after 9-11. That's Savannah Drake, right? Being like, what will heal the shatter nation? I know, Zoolander. It was, I will say this. I tried to watch a movie right after September 11th,

and it was the day after and I was in Manhattan because I was going to NYU and the United Artist's Theatre on 13th Street and Broadway had decided, I think it's the United Artist, had said, they put up signs all over the neighborhood that said, let's make today a day at the movies. Let's get our mind off our troubles. Free movies all day, free popcorn, all free-wish-freshments. And me and my friends were like, yeah, okay. I mean, we're feeling terrible and kind of scared. Let's go see a movie.

I've heard Jeepers Creepers is a fun horror romp. Oh boy. Like 15 minutes in, we have these huge things of popcorn and soda. We were like, we can't really do this. Like this feels weird and we left a full theater just meaning Jeepers theater. You'll never know how they got those papers.

To this day, I don't know how his papers got got. But it's true, I didn't go to the movies that much in the immediate aftermath of September 11th. No, well, right, rightfully so. No, I mean, we're busy. Have it, being turned away at hospitals because they did not need any help. Oh, that's nice.

So you're doing something useful whereas I was just like, dicking around and going, well, you were a way you weren't in the place that happened. No, that's true. I was in the middle of Indiana. Yeah.

So we've really brought this movie. This podcast down. So anyway, right. The Zooliner 2 was released at many years. Zooliner 2 was released in the aftermath of a different national tragedy. The production of Zoolayner 2 was released at many years later. The Zoolayner 2 was released in the aftermath of a different national tragedy, the production of Zoolayner 2.

So, Zoolayner, I take it as a movie about a supermodel who does model stuff. Yeah, it's like, I can't take it out. Emphasis on the man. It's Manchurian's Canada, and there's a little bit of an element of like a, like a comeback story.

Because at the beginning of the movie we see Ben Stiller's character Derek Zoolander go through, you know, like a like a professional and personal loss. Sure. And he's have has to fight his way back. Now are you describing Zoolander too because the it's the exact same plot as Zoolander too? Waiter, are you saying that Zoolander 2 uses some of the same plot elements? I sure hope it doesn't use any of the same jokes, Elliot. I wouldn't know that. I haven't seen the first one, but from your guys' reaction, it sure seems like it's it.

So let's dive into Zoolander 2, shall we? It's something that no one has ever said. Zoolander 2 is. It sounds like the worst family movie night. Well, well, gather around kiddos. We're gonna dive into Zoolander Zoo. It's about, I guess, a planet where zoos are everywhere. Hey, I know you love that, Zoolander.

So this will be a real treat. Hey, kids, you don't seem to be eating that slop-gruel I'm feeding you. Are you unhappy that you're chained to radiators? Now, and so, like, so we wanted to see this movie. I don't think we were adequately prepared for how this movie, and it's not like this was a huge, by Hollywood standards these days, it's not a huge budget movie.

Looking up the budget was like $50 million. All the, I'll say this for all that money's up there on screen because this movie looks stupidly expensive for what it is delivering. But okay, it's Zoolander too. We open with a long action sequence of Justin Bieber being tracked down by men on motorcycles and killed. This is-

I can only assume that the joke of that is we shot Justin Bieber. Like the joke of it is like, oh, this is what you wanna see guys, right? Justin Bieber is- Oh, because I assume the joke of it is, can you believe we got Justin Bieber to be in our movie? Because throughout the movie, there are pointless celebrity cameos with all the purpose just to be like, and this guy's in the movie.

What? This always works great. Name one movie. Are you doing the voice of the director? Yeah. Name one movie that's built on celebrity cameos that's not great. Name one movie.

Yeah. Name one bad movie where most of the gang's just come from, I can't believe they got a celebrity to do that. Yeah, I mean, that's why Cannibal Run series was the finest series of comedy films ever made. Well, you're the best. I will say it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world is essentially built on cameos and routines

and that's a pretty funny movie. There's so long though. There's this shot, well, if you can't handle it, then watch it in halves. Look at that long-ass title, dude. You should assume it's gonna be long-ass. It's got some mad, you're those mad. But you better not cut out Mads, Michaelson.

What if it was called it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world? Mads, Michaelson is trying to get buried money and the only one who can stop him is another mads michaelson Oh my god, then there's a goofy mads michaelson who's along for the ride. It's called mads simplicity It's a remake of multiplicity starring mads michaelson And they're a bad father. Yes, wait, what's the story of multiplicity? Are my thing Jack Fathon? Both both of them. He's a bad kind of, well, he's just one. I don't, does he have kids in multiplicity?

He's a bet. He like, can't he wants it all? He wants to be able to relax and have a family in a job. Mm-hmm. So does he get a magical remote control that he can click? No, that's a click. A movie that does not star Michael Keaton. Okay.

But does he take the desperate pleasure to follow Manard? He's a clean and so on, either. A lot either comic. I think he was referring to click the Adam Sandler film and not the soft core porn series based on the Milo Manera, but that's where your brain is, Dan. So okay, that's fine. Anyway, Zoolander 2 Justin Bieber is dead and what can only be described as a scene that in another movie would represent a bad movie.

Like where the joke would be, this would represent a bad movie. Like, where the joke could be, this looks like a bad movie. Yeah, I mean, you were describing it that looks like Ben Stiller made a fake action movie that you would see in the beginning of Tropic Thunder. Yeah, like those trailers, the beginning of Tropic Thunder, where you're like, those movies look ridiculous. Like, this movie feels like that movie.

And that's, I think the whole thing of it is that it feels like we're through the weird mirror of it where it feels like the movie doesn't understand what it's trying to be, whether it's trying to be a comedy that's parodying action films or if it's like, wait a minute, what if we were that action film? Well, that's, it feels, the whole movie, exactly.

It feels like they're trying to parody what people think is cool and stylish, but it also kind of wants to be cool and stylish. And so there are a bunch of scenes where it's like somebody walking towards the camera as loud hip hop plays and there's lights flashing and they're walking in slow motion and they look super tough, but there's no real joke in it. The joke is like, isn't this over the top, but it's kind of cool though.

Well, don't you think that's part of like Ben Stiller's motivation for making this movie where he's just like, wouldn't it be hilarious if I was a male model? I mean, I am pretty handsome, I mean, really, but if you look at me, but I think it's really funny, but I mean, I could pull it off. I mean, I totally could do that. No, no, no.

This is the movie equivalent of when you're hanging out with a girl who's a friend of yours and you're like, what'd it be funny if we started making out? I mean, unless you're into it, in which case, we could do it not as a joke, but it'd be pretty funny, you know, right? But we could also, like, and you're trying to walk that deli-dialogue that no man

has ever wanted sex to do. It's a trip that perfect needle. Except the thing doesn't exist, and the needle also doesn't exist. I love the word that they consider this too, isn't that we live in a world where it would be hilarious. It's just they have.

What a good truth. It's hard to get the girl to buy into that premise. It's a pretty thin premise. It's like the yawn and put your arm around a girl's shoulder where it's like, at what point is does, what part of this fiction is she supposed to believe in? To believe that while yawning and stretching

and then you just relaxed your arms and they fell back to their natural resting state. Which is all the way over here. Because everyone likes to rest their arm the same way they would signal that they're making a turn with their arm sticking straight out. No, it's convenient to have your arm up that high because it's harder for the blood to get there from your heart.

So your arm may fall asleep. And then if it's not convenient, because if it's an idle hands type situation, you don't have to worry about your serial killer hands hurting anyone. Sure. Is there a sleep all right that movie is not streaming anywhere I discovered the other day what it's an outrage yeah let's take to the fucking street start let's start up a kickstarter for our protest campaign I mean kickstarter be inappropriate for the whole civic thing like it's all the Warner's archive and I'm a print up the DVD for you

yeah it's not a Warner's movie. Well, they better buy that fucking movie so they can print it up and on demand coffee for me. So you guys are telling me I should just go tell to the Marines then. Yeah, exactly, or this partens. Yeah, call the army like a monster squad. Yep.

That's the joke is that it works in monster squad, spoiler alert. Okay. Okay. Anyway, Zoolander 2 Justin Bieber is killed in his last moments. He does a Zoolander face into Instagram. Cut to we're in Interpol where former swimsuit model turned Interpol detective who wears red leather outfits. And I'll be brief realizes that all these I guess up for it.

I mean, she's trying. Yeah. Everyone in this, no one in this movie half-ass is it. Yeah. Everyone in this movie is trying really hard to sell this material. Nobody dial, phones it in. Nobody, and if anything, that's one of the...

One man succeeds, but we'll get to it. And there's one character in this movie who is very funny and the performer succeeds. The rest of the movie doesn't really work. But you can't blame the performers for not trying. If anything, if they had had more, if they were a little looser with it, maybe it would have come across as less self-important.

I don't know, like it's too big a movie. Yeah, I mean, I guess the like, the broader vaguely European fashion personas that they're throwing out there don't really, I mean, the first, so the first Zoolander was received criticism at the time. I know it's hard to believe, but it received criticism for the fact that it is, it was not topical at all for the time, like the, the jokingness of like dumb models, like these dumb models from the 80s had basically disappeared

by the time the first ZooLander came out. So in a way, not only is this movie even less topical, but the fact that it's parodying these like cooler than school action movies, movies that don't really exist anymore, like the only big budget action movies that are even kind of like this that seem successful or like the Fast and the Furious series.

Or in some ways like the way this movie ends up going with special effects and things like superhero movies a little bit, but I don't think they're explicitly doing. It looks like, well, what it really looks like is they're parodying certain sequences of Quantum of Solace. Oh, yeah. It feels like somebody didn't realize

the Charlie's Angels movies were tongue in cheek. Yeah. And they were like, no, time's time to take McGee, definitely. Yeah, exactly. Like this feels like a Luc Besson produced movie, which also tongue in cheek. Like no one's taking the transporter to.

What are you talking about? And the character, like they kind of, are you talking about the nurse lady in lingerie that has too many machine guns? I just watched part of that the other day. Like I saw it and like there's literally, I think I know why he watched it. And she, it just happened in the on

when I was turning the channel. He just had me on when I was masturbating. And as she got out of the car, there was literally just like, the camera just up in her like panty crotch for a second. Like framed full screen, just that, as she's getting out of it. And it's the most unmotivated thing. Yeah, yeah. for a second, like framed full screen, just that, and it's the most unmotivated thing.

It's already unmotivated that there's a assassin who walks around and long today, and they're like, no, not good enough, let's get her right up in there. Let's see what that's like. The director's notes are like, the shunt begins. It's so close we don't even know what we're looking at. Is this a forest? It's an interior, her thighs.

We realize we're looking at a woman's crunch. Yeah. We pan back. It's a real twist. We pan back forward again. Yeah, and we do an Auga sound effect. I'll say this about the movie. The visual style is intense and extreme.

It's constantly throwing crazy costumes and colors at you. In a style that, and the joke is supposed to be how crazy and out of, outlandish it is, Zoolandish even. And there's a certain point where it stops being joky and it enters around that I would only call, and I mean this as respectfully as possible, shitty filini, where it's like, we're going to show you grotesque things on screen. Like we're going gonna kind of, chain, mess with your mind because you go to movies to see beautiful things.

And I'm gonna show you that ugly things can be beautiful too. And that like grotesquery, when it's blown out enough, can become beautiful in its own way. And like, Fellini pulls that off. Zoolander, too, doesn't quite pull that off. Are you so familiar with that? Are you seeing like when he's not as good a movie maker as Federico Follini. Yeah, Pepparino for Follini.

What did you call it? You had it right. Yeah, Federico. I'm saying that Follini may be new more about making movies than the people I'm going into. Are you referring to scenes like the one where they could have had just a regular child in it or they could have had actor Fred Arm child in it. Or they could have had actor Fred Armason be in that scene and they decided let's digitally take

Fred Armason's face and put it on a child's body so that it feels uncomfortable and alien to the viewer. You know that, you know the scenes in the love guru that didn't really work when we put Mike Myers face? We did, we were seeing it on a body. You told us we couldn't watch that movie for the podcast. Yeah, that's true. I did. Maybe we should have said that.

Maybe we should have said that. Maybe we should have said that. Maybe we should have said that. Maybe we should have said that. Maybe we should have said that. Now, well, John Oliver's, he's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could...

He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could...

He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... He's more famous enough that he could... What's the fuck you do it talking about love guru? I know you're doing it. Stop it. I can stop it I can see you do it. I can do it. Stop it. John am I am I in and over the shoulder graphic right now and you're looking at it? Sharon Sharon I can see you you're the one who took it don't tell them wrong Sharon We've got a message for Elliot Kaylyn. Fuck you Well, we just took what we really took down last week.

We took it the last time. Holy doesn't hear this, he doesn't listen. But Zoolander, I like don't even want to go through the plot in detail, but it involves. Zoolander's wife has died in an accident. His best friend, our son has been scarred. And we're given a ton of exposition delivered to us with a lot of fast-moving graphics and talking heads.

As many real life news people, as they get convinced to be in this, because again, the backbone of this movie is, we got a lot of famous friends, let's put them in this movie. And during the end credits, there's a shot of, I think Jim Carrey and a mustache. Really?

I think, I like it. I don't know, he's a master of disguise. But it was like, did they shoot a scene with Jim Carrey that didn't. Really? I think, I like it. I don't know, he's a master of disguise. But it was like, did they shoot a scene with Jim Carrey that didn't end up in the film? And they just threw us a still of it at the end. And his name has been Stiller. Oh. Do you remember when he was a rock star?

When he was a rock and roll star with crossbeast Stiller Nash and Young. Oh God, that's even worse. Oh no, that was his dad, Jerry Stiller. Was a, that was Kevin Nash, right? The rest of the story is Kevin Nash. Jerry Stiller, it was a... Bing Crosby.

Bing Crosby, yeah, and Carl Young. Oh, what? It Crosby Stiller Nash. It just did too many drugs, right? That was their problem. They, I mean, their sound was so fresh for the time. But yeah, they, I mean, young lost himself in hallucinogenics.

Sure. Jerry Stiller, of course, had too many M&M's, I assume. I don't know. Kevin Nash wanders the waste as one of the magic mic gang. No. And Bing Crossbe, as we all know, took his own life as well as four others when he tried robbing a bank. No, no.

That's what they called him, bank Crosby. Oh, God damn it. Again, I want to get to the point where it's a pun, but the words don't sound anything like each other. You got there, friend. Anyway, Ben Stiller's wife was killed. He's lost his son. Yeah.

And doesn't know where he is. He's living in a remote part of frozen New Jersey in a cabin and Billy Zane comes along and says, hey, you've been offered to do this fashion show in Rome. You should do it. Maybe you can get your son back. Meanwhile, Owen Wilson lives in the desert with a bunch of people that he met at an orgy. He refers to them as orgy. They- It's on his collection of people dressed up in different cultures clothing. Yeah. And it's one of the few places that you see a lot of people, not the less you lot of people of color or of different shapes in the home movie. Basically, no, but it's great because their their ethnicities seem to be part of the joke.

Yeah, the joke is that they fuck. The joke is that any of these people would have sex with like there's a scene later where he is with another orgy of mismatched people and there's like a rabbi and an old woman and it's like, this is hilarious. The people are not just called Susan Sarandon, old woman. No, there's another old woman. Susan Sarandon is a senior. Yes, but I would not call her that. If anything, call her that is just showing that old women can also be sexy.

Now you made a gross. Well, it's gross. The idea that older people can also be sexy. Oh, now you made a gross. Well, it's gross. The idea that older people would have sex drives. Well, we're driving a dangerous lane. No, but that's the thing. But that's the thing, the joke seems to be, it is hilarious that people who are not beautiful would have sex.

That's crazy. Yeah. Only a bizarre fetishist would have sex with someone who's not gorgeous. Like, there's a number, when, when Zoolander meets his son. Or not, they don't look basically exactly like you. Yeah, when Zoolander meets his son, his son is like overweight and he, and they're a bunch of, but they're a bunch of...

You dealt with that description with a subtly the movie lacks. Well, that's a thing. There are a lot of fat jokes. Just by putting the word like and front over right? Yeah. Well, I'm trying to, but what I'm trying to do is not do what the movie does, which is a zoolander to show his ignorance makes a bunch of jokes about how fat this kid is, and then later,

Will Ferrell returns as the villain, and makes a lot of jokes about how fat this kid is, and it's like movie, you realize, you can't look down at these people for making jokes that are in your movie. Like like you're trying to get people laugh at fat jokes Yeah, you can't pretend you're above it by putting it in the mouths of these other characters Yeah, but where did we leave off so he's but he's so and own Wilson's living the desert Everyone in the orgy is pregnant including key for Sutherland

Mm-hmm, and he thisutherland. And he gets a job, Billy Zayn tells him about this job. They go to Rome to Zoolander to try to win back his son, and Wilson to find out who he is and escape his life. And they end up in the middle of a, some kind of capric conspiracy that involves Zoolander's son getting kidnapped. And so, and they were invited. Initially, they think that they're back into modeling,

but they're actually just doing it as a joke and then they feel bad and but like they're so there they're the old they were putting this modeling show to represent old lame things so that a new model played by Benedict Cumberbatch who is a just neutral insult to trans people everywhere. Well it's another thing like a behind the times thing where it's like I could see them getting away with the concept of the joke. If not the way it's delivered 20 years ago, 30 years ago, maybe 10 or 15 years ago. I mean, the joke is supposed to be that like, oh, there are a lot of androgynous models out there.

Like, isn't that funny that that's a thing that exists in the modeling community. But instead, it comes across as like, they're like, this person doesn't know whether they're male or female. Like, and it's crazy that they're gender non-binary. Like, it doesn't help that depending on the compare batches' performance is as low as possible. As low energy as they can make it. Yeah, but that's like the way the performance is as low as possible. As low energy as they can make. Yeah, but that's the way the character is supposed to be, I assume.

But it's a lot low energy when he, during the fashion show, swoops down in a winged harness, screeching like a hawk and whipping, then still are in Owen Wilson. And it's like, why did it, but then it's come about to take this role. Oh, now I see why. I often get to be a hawk monster whipping other people. Yeah. And as you put it like the first time that he shows up, it did feel like a scene that you're like, why did they they could have just cut this scene?

Well, also because the character doesn't come back like it's a one-off joke. The character doesn't come back as like it's a busy dude, man. The number of batch is a big Zoolander head. Is a big Z head? You really wanted to be bit. He's a big zoo lander head. He's a big z-head. You really wanted to be in this movie. He's like, I will do anything. Any, like the most offensive stupid idea you come up with, just put me in a costume.

Look, I'm a zoo lander fan. We call ourselves Zedys. This is what I want to be there. And I'm a big pothead, so they call me a big ZD. In zoo lander culture, that's when I was at all. There's a new, there's a new concern about this like group of overwatchers, these like the they that are labeling everybody. Just imagine it like a like a, I'm not a Z watchers, the watchman's do, you know, who Z, who Z's the Z man? I, I, I, I, I don't want to see like a scare story on the news about our

your kids getting involved with Z heads. There's a new subculture on the streets, Zoolander fans. They call themselves Z-D's. They put on different colors of, of makeup or they put on different colors of lipstick and they kiss their DVDs of Zoolander too. And with Zoolander Rainbow parties. Yeah. Uh, look it up kids.

You don't know that urban legend. That urban legend. Oh, it swept the nation. Not really. That's, it's, it's a sign of how like the best our urban legends can do now is that one presidential candidate is involved in a child sex abuse ring. That's the best we can do in the 80s. Every preschool in the country was supposedly involved in satanic abuse rings.

Yeah, dude, there was like a leather man running all over the place, right? Probably. Are you talking about the Volvo? Yeah, the whole world. The leather man. That was 150 years ago. That was the 1980s. That was the mid 19th century.

So what I'm saying is there's not enough fake news. Let's get some more stuff out there. But there's like a weird conspiracy thing going on where like the pop stars are supposedly the pop stars are being murdered. They're being murdered. But they're like the protectors of this, this chosen one child that's supposed to come.

It's explained by sting, wearing a beard that I can only describe as slightly better than Vin Diesel's in the last way. It looks like he came straight off the set of that pirate musical he did. The last ship was not a pirate musical. It was about an Irish town. It's about a UK town that builds ships. I don't know how to do that. The plant is closing down. I just saw performance in the

basis. Thanks. Yeah. You never read one. You should have. You should have when you didn't see any pirates. Was Jackie Chan in the performance? Could you tell? Was Jackie Chan a pirate? It's my pleasure. Because he would be great. That's not a movie. It should be. He's kind of like an arrow flintype. Here's my pitch. It's Captain Ron, but it's Jackie Chan. It's called Captain Chan. That's not a movie. It should be. He's kind of like an arrow flint type. Here's my pitch. It's Captain Ron, but it's Jackie Chan. It's called Captain Chan. There's a lot more action in it.

Let's do it. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's gonna be the, who's gonna, who's gonna, who's gonna step into the Martian Martian show? Or is that a Martian show? I don't know. Oh no.

Greetings, Earthly. I can do many impressions. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a triple threat, say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Glorp, March, short. Who's he? So who's going to play Martin Short in this Kevin Chan? Who's going to play more? Well, who let's say who's going to be the perfect foil for Jackie Chan? Yeah, super. Bloody daddy.

Idris Elba. Oh, wow. Okay. That makes sense because they're physically very similar. But Jackie Chan, I guess he's the tougher of the two because he's- I mean, it does his own stunts. Yeah, that's true.

I mean, he is a martial artist. Did you see that, Vity? There was some glasses on it, just though. Well, that little signal that he's retiring. But it makes him even hotter. That's the problem. I was watching. Dan, the things that would look nerdy on me, look super hot on a handsome black guy.

Scarves, bow ties, loafers. You don't have to fucking tell me. I bought a, I got a like vintage wool tweet overcoat. I'm sure you look like a big nerd. Because I was like, you know, like Tyrese can wear this. I was like, oh, Adres Elva, look so good in this and Luther. And then I'm like, oh, it looks so good in this in Luther. And then I'm like, oh, the problem is I'm not in Ricella.

Yeah, it's the Ricella that's making it look good. It's not the coat that looks good. Yeah. Yeah, did you have like a vision in your head that you'd look at yourself the mirror wearing the coat and you'd be in Ricella? If my fucking magic coat, I think everyone's had that experience of being like, this is the magic piece of clothing.

This is the one that's gonna do it. I mean, I just kind of stopped having that after like middle school. Well, I'm like, wow, these fucking awesome. This Fedora doesn't really work, does it? Yeah, I did Fedora, definitely was what I tried. Yeah, it looks like Humphrey Bogart now. Nope, I just looked like an orthodox Jewish kid.

There was like, there was a kid I was from. People avoided you because they were worried that you were going to ask them if they're Jewish so you could bless them. So I can hand them a lulav and an etrog and force them to waste a minute of their day doing prayers for my Messiah. Oh, brother. I hate that I'm not a fan of those guys.

I told you guys, I may mention the podcast about when I snapped a fan of those guys. I told you guys, I may mention the podcast, but when I snapped at one of those guys, I was thinking about an idea when I was leaving the subway. And I wanted to get, I wanted to stop something like that down. It's Frankenstein's monster goddammit. And the guy who took, excuse me, are you Jewish? And I went, can I not have one moment to myself to think

and he backed away and I felt bad. I'm not sure it's so. But uh, um, but anyway, they reminded me of a friend of mine in elementary school who got he was probably like nine and he got mirrored sunglasses and he went everyone to call him Michael J. Fox because that was the apex of cool. I think the problem is more the second half of the the first half of the thing. I think you probably kind of looked okay in this mirror.

It still looks like a killer in mirrored sunglasses. Okay, so there's this prophecy that sting tells them about. That in the Garden of Eden, there was, everyone's looking for this fountain of youth that turns out in the Garden of Eden. There was Adam and Eve and Steve. And Steve was the first ever model, and he's the most beautiful person ever,

and he had a magic face that, when he looked at you hard enough, it turned water into magic life giving water or something. And the legend is that if you tear out the heart of one of his descendants and blood spirts forth from it, it becomes the fountain of youth and you'll stay young and beautiful forever. And Zoolander goes, oh no, my son is in danger.

Well, actually they go, oh no, your son is in danger and he's like, why? What? Because the joke is that he's stupid. He doesn't, and there's one of many times during the movie when I was like, why is Zoolander in this movie? Why did they bother to go get him?

Because like, he's not doing anything. He's accept, like he accomplishes nothing until the very last scene. And even then, he doesn't really accomplish anything. Like, but anyway, there's, there, that was the first bad reaction I had where I was just giving up on the movie. The second was when, so Will Farrell breaks out of fashion, Jail, villain from the first movie I assume.

And he, we see him in the hundredth silly like goofy-fashion outfit, and I went like, he stood where we go, oh, enough. But that's the whole point of the movie, Elliott, is to take actors and put them in wacky costumes. I got to say, I'm like wacky costumes, but like, come on, you got to something other than that. I gotta say that one of the things that bothered me

the most about the movie comedically, and I commented on this while we're watching it, is it's one of these movies where they will make a joke, and then the characters within the movie will comment on the joke or draw attention to the joke. Like that farm to table, Wi-Fi joke? Well, the one that I was thinking of later in the movie is Hansel is talking to Derek Zoolander's son and he's like, he loves you like you're one of his own, which is like

not a hilarious joke, but it is a joke. He loves you like your like his own son or something like that. Well, no, like like you're, no, he's just like like you're one of his own and he goes, but I am his son and he's like, yeah, we get the fucking thing, man. We get it. Like you don't need like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like son. And he's like, yeah, we get the fucking thing, man. We get it. Like you don't need, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like There's a scene where so Fred Armiston is show Fred kid Fred Armiston creepy digital effects kid and Fred Armiston is showing them through their hotel or staying in it was tough for me to really focus because my brain wasn't understanding what I was looking. Yeah, and there's a mind was rejecting it. He saw a white screen. You're like guys are we watching a movie? You're, your eyes went blind to protect yourself.

You guys, where'd we go? You had a series of what doctors refer to as protective mini strokes. So, we've seen, we've seen these a lot. Zoolander too. Zoolander too. Much like a fireman with tear down a house in the path of a fire to stop its, stop its progress. Your brain decided to shut itself down rather than watch Fred Armason in this weird scene. Thank you, Dr. for putting it into a historical context.

I think you did understand a better if it had to do with ancient fire prevention techniques. Like the kind maybe in the Edo era of Japan. That sounds really cool. Now, uh, but he says, and we have farmed a table Wi-Fi. Throw throw away joke and then he leaves the room and they both try going What is farm to table Wi-Fi? Huh? What is that? I don't even know and it's like All right guys. Yeah, just yeah, you've thrown away whatever minor goodwill From that tiny wait. This is a Indenture in the audience thinking of goodwill

tiny witnesses of may have indentured in the audience. Speaking of Goodwill, this movie relies on so much Goodwill from the audience to us, like they assume that you love these characters. Like you saw that first movie in a while. Which there are plenty of people who do love those characters. I or love the Moop first movie at least. But they assume that you can't wait to see these people return.

And then just seeing them is enough. Like just seeing Derek Zoolander standing there in a funny outfit, you're like, oh my God, thank you. That was what my life has been missing. Oh, the villains henchmen is back. Wait, while I have an orgasm. Okay, movie continue. No, it's not done yet.

Okay, continue. No, okay, okay, continue. Yeah, there was a scene at the end where people were just getting unmasked, where it was like, oh, Kristen Wigs character was me and Yovavitch the whole time, and you're like, okay, well, this is just great. Are we all supposed to applaud that that lady remember from the first movies in here? Because I wasn't wondering where she was. I mean, at that point, I was like, oh, great.

Me and Jovich, that's great. She's not resolending evil anymore. Yeah. I mean, I look, I like her. She's great. I think that she's always better than like, like, she gets credit for her. And I think that she's got a lot of...

I like her a lot. It's too bad that she's been trapped in Resident Evil Land for a long time. Yeah. And I think that she actually has like a talent for like comedy too, but you know, what are you gonna do? What do you what are you gonna do Ellie? Right alike? What are you gonna do? Help me a yoga bitch. She's the hostage. Yeah, convince Quentin Tarantino to write the comeback role for me a Joe Vitch That's gonna be too foot-based, won't it? It's gonna be all feet

Oh, if you type in me aou, Vitch, and Google, and Miyajou, Vitch, Fido, come up, click on that. That's the screenplay Quintar and Tino wrote. Oh, wow. Is she like a, like a wine maker's apprentice? She's just her son from the last grade. That sounds like a Swedish softcore porn movie from the 70s. The wine maker's apprentice.

So here, let's, you know what, we've ragged a lot on this movie. Yeah, that's fair. That's not very funny or very good. But, and it feels like someone spent way too much money and that hurts the film in the long run. And we don't even need to get into the ending where everyone uses their magic model look powers

to stop a bomb from falling into lava. In the longest climax scene of any movie I've ever seen, where every character gets multiple jokes one after another and there's just like twist reveal after twist reveal. And much of the very diminishing. But also after all these non-actor fashion icons get their individual jokes and reaction shots. And it's like, it's like cut to them,

cut to someone reacting, cut to their face. I mean, it's like it's like cut to them cut to someone reacting cut to their face I mean, it's provided the service to who is this movie for? It did the service to me of showing me something I never knew which is that Tommy Hill figure looks like Andrew Lloyd Webber Okay, now I mean who is he's good? We're on the DVD case. I guess Was that the fellow's tan who you were in? No, no, that, I don't know who that was. Okay.

There's some Italian fashion person who appears the, Valentino. Was that Valentino? Rudy Valentino? That's, that's what someone says. That's what someone said. That was name and he looks like he stood way too close to a microwave. It was like a real leather man.

Yeah, he's just taned too much. It's not a real looking tan. Stewart, we kept cutting you off. What were you going to say? Before, oh, I wanted to get to the good part of the movie. It's not a real looking tan. Stewart, we kept cutting you off. What are you going to say? Before, oh, I wanted to get to the good part of the movie. But what do you want to say something Stewart? Oh, yeah, I guess. Yeah, guys. So I've had a pretty good week so far. Okay, you know what? Forget it. I think we can all agree. There was one shining moment and one shining star in the movie that there was, or maybe I'm speaking too much, there was one character,

you've not been working a lot, but it's been okay, it's been fun. There was one character in the movie I found genuinely funny, and the guy performing it, I thought was genuinely funny. You're talking about Kyle Mooney, who's a certain amount of work. Kyle Mooney as a character named Don Atari, who is supposed to be like the new hot designer,

but he's a very, too much of a hipster. He's an ironic hipster. He's a broy-ironic hipster. He's a broy, which exists. Yeah. I've met him. But like the, and so he does, it's a lot of like,

oh, this, like he has a tattoo and he goes, check out this guy, he's the worst tattoo artist. I love it, he's the stupidest tattoos, they're so shitty. I don't know, I put it on my body. Look at what he did on my arm, and it's a tattoo of like, what was it? was like internal sanders as Obi-Wan Kenobi with a cloak made with a pot leaves on it And he's saying where's the beam?

And he's like, he's like, I hate it. Why would I do that to my own body? I got it after my dad great but great BuzzFeneral. It's terrible. I love it. So like that character he pulls off so well where he's just like you guys are so stupid I love it. You're terrible. It's great. I love that you're so lame There's like a weird honesty to his performance like everyone else is doing these big broad performances and it's not like I don't know like in a better movie. It's not like they wouldn't be funny, but like he's committed to it on a human level It's very he's underplaying that character. If he was like, whoa, you guys, uh, it wouldn't work when said he's like, hey, I love it, it's stupid.

But yeah, but like it's the worst. It's great. But he does it like, he just underplays it in a way that's very funny. And it's a character that like you haven't really seen before. Yeah, not in this type of a comedy. Not in this type of a comedy. Not in this type of comedy and also like of all it was like the only character. That's a point I hadn't realized until you said that. It's the only character in the home movie where I'm like, okay, I've seen that person existing in real life.

Like you're poking fun at a real human being that I've seen and met. Whereas like this all this fashion stuff is itself based around a fake image that other people produce. Yeah, I mean, it is like weird fast talking accent with like bits of slang tossed in there is kind of how my little brother talks. Love you, bro. Love you, Andrew. I want to meet this guy.

But then in the my wedding, he, uh, we want to meet him again. Oh, yeah, for God. Yeah. But this guy, like, you forgot right after me, you're wedding. Dan was hit by a series of coconuts. A series of co-coconut. A series of unfortunate coconuts. But uh, no, this character like he also gets like a send-off line that we like genuinely laugh for about a minute at. It's really funny. Yeah. It's pretty funny. It's pretty funny. He is a... About to get his next snapped by Will Farrell.

And in a very quick cut, he's like, I should tell you, I wasn't saying, he's like, I should tell you, I love everything and everybody really deep, really truly. But he snaps his neck. It's like the moment because like... He drops his ironic face. But even because like, that's a part of that ironic hipster world now is

A very intense forced sincerity. Yeah, like navigating between this very Like ironic love of crap and also being like hey, I love I love you emotionally vulnerable right now It's awesome like that was the one character movie where I'm like you're satirizing a real thing that I've seen. Yeah. As opposed to like this. You're satirizing satirizing. I feel like it would be it would be like satirizing. Maybe if we watched more like what's that what's that show with Tim gun on it? Project run away. Yeah. If we watch a shitload of project runway. Tim gun. James brother. It would be like James. Yeah run away. Yeah, if we watch a shitload of project runway. There you go. Team guy. James brother. It would be like James gum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Peter guns TV show. Great theme song. But it would be like satirizing like children's imaginary play with imaginary friends. We were like,

this is, you know, this is not like a real thing. Like, like a satire about imaginary friends. We like, I finally take the piss out of these imaginary friends. You know this is not like a real thing. Like a satire about imaginary friends. We like to finally take the piss out of these imaginary friends. You know these are not real people, you're satirizing, right? But whereas that guy, it was like, okay, this is a closely observed thing. And he performs it really well. So I'm ready for the sequel about that guy. I assume it would be a prequel that shows how he got to that point

because nothing in the world can exist without a minutely described backstory. Wow, Elliott. I'm taking it to Star Wars right now. I'm not even thinking about Star Wars necessarily, but like everything, you know, everything needs it. All right. You don't want it. It's not going to be okay, Dan. It's not going to be okay. All right. We are not till we make my karate kid equal karate baby. Elliott wants to be an explorer. He wants there to be empty spots on the map to find. He doesn't want it to be all filled out.

Look, there's a reason that nobody liked tails from the Mos Eisley Cantina. Because I don't need to know how MoMA, Nadeon, got to the Mos Eisley Cantina. Which one's that? That's the guy who's got, he's one of the last alien you see in the whole, like quick cut thing. And he's got that long, flat, brown head.

He's the hammerhead. Hammerhead, yeah. Sure. He's in the overkill song of the same name. Sure, okay. Okay, cool. So, and so we're saying is Zoolander too, go watch that one guys performance, but don't

watch this movie. I checked actually his big scene is on YouTube, so just look that up. Oh, okay. Great. But now it's the time to make our final judgments about this movie, whether it was a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie we kind of liked, I'm just going to go ahead and say it. It's a bad bad movie.

Comities are the hardest thing to watch when they don't work. And this one does not work for 98% of it. There's good lots of good people in it that I've laughed at, but there's a few good jokes. There's lots of good people in it. They can't pull it off. Yeah, I mean, I think this is a bad bad movie. I think for the most part, it's just kind of wrong-headed. And it feels, at the very least, it feels like it was made 10 years too

late. It's a movie that is wrong-headed and then keeps doubling down on that and going further in the direction that you don't want it to. There are some moments of strangeness like the, at the very end of the movie, when Hansel meets up with his family and they reveal, you know, they talk about all being pregnant. And Kiefer Sutherland comes forward and reveals that he is no longer pregnant. He lost the baby while kicking open a door

in an earlier scene. And Kiefer Sutherland sells the performance so seriously that we were all sad for a minute because he was grappling with this law. That's like the miscarriage. Which is presented as a joke. And on the face of it, the idea of Kiefer Sutherland, a man, the star of 24 and designated survivor,

having a fetus inside of him, which then dies. I think those are his big credits. Is it the cowboy way?. Sorry star of the cowboy way It is absurd on the face of it and yet it does not come across as a humorous moment Yeah, turns out shock up miscarriage with coded trans person as things that aren't funny in this movie trans person as things that aren't funny in this movie. Anyway, so yeah, bad, bad movie. They just look they didn't know what they were doing.

How could you know, there were some celebrities that I was happy to see the aforementioned Susan Sarandon. Susan Sarandon was okay for a moment. Christine Hendrix. But there's a scene where with Katy Perry and Neil DeGrasse Tyson, that is painful. It is painful. Neil DeGrasse Tyson. That is meaningful. It is painful. Neil deGrasse Tyson has not seen a fucking camera

that he doesn't go fucking ape shit in the world. Whoa, whoa, whoa, he's not Chuck Schumer. Let's not attack him, okay. Yeah, the guy likes screen time, sure. The movie just- I'm just amazing now, like, how often is this- Neil deGrasse Tyson in like a 7-11, like just standing from the security cameras.

Hey, you want me to say? I don't know. It's not like you're saying anything about the Cosmos. I will. It's not like he lost a fucking genie's curse or something. Although the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the I mean the movie literally ends with a shot of Neil to grass Tyson and the joke is But he's in the movie I guess Not a fucking joke he'll be in any movie if you ask him actually you know what he's like god him run Jeremy and horror movies If you go into the bathroom and sound it sound say Neil to grass Tyson of the mirror three times He'll appear right now. Just show up. Go do it right now. Hold up, take, hold up your phone, take a selfie.

Look at me. Okay, stop the size of the number party. Yeah. Go in. Young people who like listen to the flop house, like your slumber party is stopping right. St. Neil to Grass Tieson three times, he's going to show up. The only way to get rid of him is to say bloody Mary three times in the up. The only way to get rid of him is to say bloody Mary three times in the mirror. The only way to get rid of her is to say candy man three times. Oh man. After that, you're counting your own.

No, you get to be able to do this as help. Then you're on your own. But there's, I will give the movie this. It showed the self-restraint that though yes, the movie did end with an end title sequence that has all the characters dancing. It did not have an end credit sequence that shows celebrities all over the world doing Derek Zoolander faces because it very could have easily ended in that. Just showing shot some footage of celebrities and then who knows BB Netanyahu, Vladimir Putin, who know, Malala, like just doing

just doing Zoolander faces the camera. They showed that they're strange. They showed that they're strange. Otherwise, I would have drank myself to death by now. And I would be one of those weasel ghosts at the end of Hoofrey Furadja Rebeth, participating on this podcast. Discovering Hoof and his own. Which I think is the only possible end for the three of us

is being three weasel ghosts. Three weasel ghosts just playing little harps. It's gonna be so hard to play the harp with my straight jacket. The razor I'm on. That's the weasel you are. That's the weasel I always like the most. Because when I was a kid I was like the crazy characters. Oh, okay, that's cool.

Now, which weasel are you? I'm a pretty cool gangster. Uh, the horny one. Is that one of them? Are you using a polyshore? That's right. I was kind of viewed polyshore as like an asexual being. That made you because he reproduces through butter.

Yeah, I don't know. That's why he was in the bio-dome. He was a new species, yeah. He was a new species, yeah. The going into a bull's eye interview, I know that it's somebody who does amazing work, but it's also a real conversation, so I don't know where it's headed. I think you just clarified something for me that's never been really clear before.

This is the most serious I've ever been in my life. He's made me complete. I feel like I'm in ferrope. Well, Zach, creators you know, creators you need to know. Find it at maximumfun.org or wherever you get podcasts. So now we move on to a few fine sponsors with fine products to Hawk. And I'll be doing them, I'll be doing all the sponsors.

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Because I'm Italian and I don't work very hard. Wow. This, look, okay, this is not affiliated with blacktux.com. With theblacktux.com. What are you talking about? Theblacktux.com is not standing by Dan's comment. So let's just say. But now you see why I didn't interrupt you.

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straight to your home. They deliver you meals at your house. How often is it Dan? You're blue apron subscriber, right? It's once a week, if you, I mean, that's, I think that you probably could have other things, but I think it's just once a week. I don't know.

It's once a week, anyway. Are you looking at me and not your phone? I mean, I got it once a week. I don't know. It's once a week. Anyway. Are you looking at me and not your phone? I mean, I got it once a week. I just didn't want to definitively say it, but no one else could get it. Okay, you know what? Let me do the book back to me. Okay, probably.

We need to work tough. We need to get them some chicken soup or something. Well, well, let's do it through blue. He's probably over tired. Let me tell you, our great nation was found on the principle that all men are created equal, which is true, but not all ingredients were created equal. Check the constitution, it's not in there. And so fresh or the declaration of independence.

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It had some pork in it. Okay, I've learned now three times not to try to include Dan in the sponsor's spot. I don't know why I keep going back to this poisoned well that someone probably threw a corpse into. And that's why the water is not a so good to taste. So I'll use a term, remember. I'll talk about the one. Well, moving better, he goes down pipes all the time.

It's a plumber. For less than $10 per person per meal, you get fresh ingredients, proportioned for that meal, so you don't have extras. You have to worry about measuring stuff. It's my least favorite part of cooking, the measuring. Actually, my first least favorite part is waiting for it to finish.

Second is the measuring. There's all sorts of different stuff. I'm a hungry boy. You can do, yeah, because I'm so hungry. I'm like Tommy Hoetz. That's, you choose a variety of new recipes every week. It's flexible. You can customize it for whenever you want it.

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That's blueaprin.com slash flop house, first three meals free with free shipping. blueaprin.com slash flop house, first three meals free with free shipping. Blue apron dot com slash flop house. Blue apron. If you're going to trust a color of apron, make a blue. That's a new slogan that I've created for them. It's me, Wario. Oh, wow. I hate to blue apron, but you shouldn't listen to me because I'm a villain character who's

much like a bizzaro of Mario or like a Walla Walla Ouija. Yeah. A Walla Ouija? Yeah, there's Walla Ouija, he's like a Wario version of Ouija. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, woe she. I don't know.

What about a woe ode for Toad? I don't know these answers. What about a, what I would recommend to you? I would recommend to you. Go onto DeviantArt and look up I don't know these answers. What about a, what I would recommend doing is go onto Deviant art and look up, what, oh, and what, what do you say, Koopa troubo, what were you saying?

Uh, uh, what would, what were you saying? What a love each. Do all those things. A wall wowser. I will say, I will say there's a weird amount of, I guess not weird, probably a normal amount of. Keep in mind it is called DeviantArt. Yeah, in the world on the internet there's a lot of interesting pornography featuring

the characters we were just talking about. Yeah, so think of that when you get your blue apron meals. Yeah, try to swallow it down as you think about Wario, Mario, Luigi and all the rest having sex with each other. Dan, what else do we have? Oh, we have a jumbo tronum. Jumbo tronum. Jumbo tronum.

Jumbo tronum. Hey, guys, this collection of comedy sketches written by Richard Jensen are guaranteed to bring a smile to geeks and non geeks alike. In these sketches, you'll meet a demon from hell who can't buy a soul to save his own, a restaurant patron who uses modern technology to destroy a way to destroy a way too happy couple. Oh, okay. Okay, wait a minute, guys, stop messing with me.

I'm trying to read this copy. Yes, sorry, that was my fault. Okay. A restaurant patron. Elliott flashed his breasts. It was very distracting. Yeah, it was straight out of reposites. Yeah, I pulled a real South Beach Academy idea. A restaurant patron who uses modern technology to destroy a way to happy couple who are

ruining his meal. Friends who debate the effects of favorite movies on President politics, a woman who is way too fond of Jar Jar Binks, and many others, fun for geeks, and non geeks alike. So are you a geek who likes to laugh, Richard Jensen's e-book of comedy sketches, Tales of the Geek Nation, is on sale at iTunes and Barnes and Noble. Barnes and Noble, you say? Selena and Barnes and Noble. They're lawyers in subbooks.

Yeah, so check it out, guys. Check that out. But now we move on to our next segment, our penultimate segment. You might say letters from listeners. our penultimate segment, you might say, letters from listeners. It's a playing that we do that allows you to interact with us, the fluff house stretch. The first letter. Sometimes there's one segment, and there's still another segment after that. It's called penultimate. Ultimate is not what this segment is, but penultimate is it the ultimate pen?

No, that's not what that word means. But if you have a good pen, hold it close. Right with it every day of your life because a good pen is worth its weight in ink? I think, so the pen ultimate segment of the show, after this it's just one more segment left to go so embrace us and cherish these moments with us, because it'll won't be forever. That will be with you and then someday it'll be never because we'll be dead in the ground. But our words will live on all around the life inspired generation. And then another generation after that and another and another and another until the

Fly Pouses the single most important thing in the history of human civilization across every entire nation and we'll destroy you. Stuart, would you like to explain the dark turn? We'd like to explain the artwork that you put in front of me. Yeah, I'm just going to, I'm going to them Roger Rabbit weasels. Thank you for calling that singing. Yeah, I thought you were going to say catawalling. Thank you. And then Roger Rabbit weasels.

Thank you for calling that singing. Yeah, I thought you were gonna say cat or walling. So yeah, I found a picture that features, it looks like a Humpty Dumpty egg that is Roger Rabbit surrounded by a bunch of Sonic the Hedgehog style characters and Pokemons. It looks like it was colored with a coloring pencil, a colored pencil, which is what we call it.

That's what we call it. It is for coloring. When I was in my house, we call it coloring pencils. But it looks like it was made with colored pencils. So I like that like hands-on approach, as opposed to all these digital effects nowadays. Yeah, yeah, sure. So I'm trying something. Hey guys, that last song, it got a little harsh, a little rough, a little too tough.

And I think it was enough, and this song is here to apologize for the roughness and toughness, enoughness, the roughness of that last song. It was also too long. I think we agree that that's the case. Maybe we'll try to make some more space next time for the rest of the show by having less singing. Let's ring the ding-ding-ing, less climatic-linging to this bit.

Let's let it go. So, let it go, let it go, let it go, let's go on and on with the show. So, Ellie, the song never bothered me anyway. At work the other day, your friend and mine, Lauren Sarver. Wonderful person person wonderful comedy enslaved to do a dog pulled and she has a dog that she that bosses her around yes pulled out her iPhone and showed me a podcast that her friend was doing and Pointed to the runtime of the show and was like this is too long, right?

It was an hour and 45 minutes Uh-oh And I pulled at my collar of my shirt comically. You closed the browser. You were looking at because it was underwater sex calm, which never redirects to the floppos. Thank you. Thank you. But be in a friend. Travel down the road and buy us domain names. Your heart is true. Thanks for buying underwater sex.com. So Dan, what do you do? And if you threw some underwater sex, we probably wouldn't show up. I'm sorry, it's weird. And it doesn't work as well as you think it would.

So if you're wondering how it is, it's really easy. Just tell, just say Siri, just take your phone and say, say, a big fuck of asses. Alexa, shut it down. And then Alexa comes with, we all have like little red laser dots on our chest. All right, so I'm trying something a little different for this episode of letters. More singing.

No, it's a, I have five letters here, but they're all one paragraph wonders. They're all very short letters. So it's just a little experiment. No, yeah, we're just changing it up. We're fun around here. Yeah, yeah, we're really breaking, breaking the mold. This one's very lasting. We're really, we're really, we're just changing it up. We're fun around here. Yeah, yeah, we're really breaking, breaking the mold. This one's very lasting. We're really, we're

re-requited. I'm sure. I really, we want, I recently rewatched, I really, we were actually let her. So is it that because the letter so short, you had to get that mispronunciation and the misread as well. I recently rewatched Phantasm and it still held up, but I was struck by how weird it was. On paper, you can't describe it. A tall undertaker from another dimension uses embalming techniques to transform dead bodies into diminutive slaves,

and also there are shiny murder balls. Looks like you just described it perfectly. But it somehow works. And eventually in the series, a quad shotgun. So two questions. First, what makes Phant, a quad shot gun. So two questions. First, what makes fan T. So two questions. First, what makes fantasies so effective? And second, are there any other movies that make no sense on paper, but work really well in practice? Thanks, Eric last name with held. I mean, what makes it work for me is that it establishes a dream like atmosphere.

Yep. It feels like a child's nightmare. Yep. And that's why certain types of logic don't need to always apply in it and why things that aren't fully explained work for me. It feels like a dream. And it drives a dream too. Oh yeah, listen to that, you can barely hear it. Listen to that, honey, part.

Oh come on. Feel that vibration in the seat, barely. And there's going a hundred nine. There's things in it that you, there's things in it you don't barely hear it. Less than a high part. Oh, come on. You'll have vibration in the seat, barely. And there's going a hundred nine. There's thousands that you, you know, there's things in it you don't, you don't see in other horror movies like these weird ass floating silver balls. Yeah. And the fact that the movie has basically two locations and it defines them, I think really well.

Like, there's both dreamlike, but at the same time like. Yeah, there's a sense of- The-their house and the cemetery. And real defined space. I know that's something you look for often in a movie store. Yeah, yeah. It's a sense of real defined physical space. And they do an amazing job of that with those locations. And it's like, and it's a short movie. Like there's no, there's no wasted time in it at all.

Nope. All killer, no filler. So other movies. And some fillers, stiller. Really? Every now and then, yeah. Okay, so we know. Surprise you didn't notice those,

you've seen the movie a lot of times. Yeah, I, I look at my phone a lot. So movies that work on, that work, don't work on paper. See it, Dan mentioned this question to us earlier and I misunderstood it to mean movies that have like a kind of gaping plot hole but still work and the one that came to my mind was Planet of the Apes in which Charlton Heston takes two hours and the stature of liberty to realize he was on earth even though he's been speaking English the entire movie

with Apes that speak English American English with a mixture of American and British accents. And there's no point where he's like, it's really weird that it's weird enough that on this planet, apes and humans evolved, even if they evolved in this divergent path where apes are superior to humans. But that the English language exactly as I speak it arose independently on this planet. The odds are crazy. Maybe you got like a babblefish stuck in his ear or something. Possible. I mean, they do land in the lake.

Maybe a babblefish got stuck in his ear. You know, for me, when I was thinking about this, I was thinking about movies that that kind of rely on the general charm of the characters. So things like the, like Magic Mike XXL or even like everybody wants some, the movie that from this best year. I'm sure you're late, don't want. Yeah, which I loved, but those are both movies that like not a lot really happens.

There's not much plot and so much of it is driven by the fact that you're like, oh, I just like spending time with these characters. They're fun. Yeah, I mean, spending time with these characters. They're fun. Yeah, I mean, my dinner with Andre is a movie that on paper does not work. It's just two guys in a restaurant having dinner and talking about whatever, but like,

it's a really engrossing movie and like, when you're watching it, you're like, oh, this is directed by a director who knows how to build dramatic tension out of two guys talking at a table. Like, this is a really good movie. What are you going to say, Dan, or you're going to say something like, each of you doesn't work because aliens don't exist.

In Raiders, Jindy doesn't need to be there. So I... Professor. Even though I got this. Ting-Tang-Wall-Wall-Bing-Bing. Even though I got this question early and had plenty of time to think about it, I can gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say,

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say,

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say,

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, both movies that on paper are incredibly hard to explain. But the effect when I watch them is very powerful. There's movies too that like have twists that... I have things.

And shouts. Twist that people like have a problem with, but I don't have a problem with. And I think work in spite of themselves. Like that Steven Soderbergh movie about the drug. Oh yeah, I haven't seen that one. That one, yes Soderberg movie about the drug. Oh, yeah. I haven't seen that one. That one. Yeah. Spoyle.

Painting was that was not contagious. Contagion is a good movie side effects side effects. That has a twist in it that did not work for me. Um, but no, like the prestige, like the end of that where it turns out to be like a science fiction. Yeah. Explanation. Like a lot of people lose that movie at that point, but I feel like it's David Bowie's there, dude. But it really underlines, I think that that makes the movie deeper because it underlines the theme of the movie. That character being so committed to both undoing the other character and his art form

that he's willing to literally die on stage every night and in addition the one of the themes that the movie is building along it is that magic is only enjoyable when you know it's not real and when when when the earth returns back to its normal state afterwards and that if the magician could actually accomplish those things in reality it would be terrifying yeah Yeah. It would be horrifying and terrible. If a human being had those powers that like a magic show is only enjoyable because you know you're being tricked and that means it's okay. You're not watching a wizard or someone with super science, you know.

The speech you just delivered would have sounded great coming out of Michael Cain. I just thought of another one. I think he says something similar to that. I really like the movie The Phantom of the Paradise. And I think that like, sort of a Gonzo rock and roll retelling of Phantom of the Opera sounds terrible, but it manages to work in the film making. I thought Gonzo was weird casting,

but he really pulls it off. Brian, that bass and all that. It's me, the Phantom of the Paradise. Or something like Rocky Horror Picture show, which sounds so strange. That doesn't work on paper at all, but it has to spell. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed.

When I was younger, I remember watching Rocky Horror picture show me like, I don't believe someone wrote this. Yeah. Like, there's songs in it, so it must have been written, but it's so crazy. Yeah. And it gets crazier as it goes along, too. Like, it starts with like one foot in grounded reality and then just by the end you're like,

what is, am I? It loses, am I? Am I taking drugs? I don't understand. By the point when they're all in boostier swimming and the pool, it really loses me. Oh yeah. I'm like, I don't know what's going on in this movie.

I think that that kind of works because it's supposed to be like a late night, like back of a double bill science fiction show. So it recrase that feeling of like as the night goes on and you get sleepy or you're not really sure what you're actually seeing. Okay, that's fair. I can see that. Anyway, so the next question is titled Dan is amazing and a question about Dune.

So Dan wrote this one. Since Dan's been on a lot of question about Dune. So Dan wrote this one. Since Dan's been on a lot of questions about Dune lately. Yeah, one of these just write this to fucking Tom Brookaw. It's from Ryan. And someone who knows it. Yeah. It's Ryan withheld. Ryan Johnson, director of Star Wars Episode 8.

Big fan. You guys are. You guys are the best, especially you Dan. I do have a question regarding Dune. Is it worth it? I haven't read the books or seen the best, especially you Dan. I do have a question regarding Dune. Is it worth it? I haven't read the books or seen the movie, but it seems up my alley since you guys like it. Anyway, it's keep doing what you're doing.

I think you did write this letter, Dan. Are you just trying to get us to answer whether or not we like the books, Dune? I mean, the movie, if you're watching it not for plot, but just for crazy visuals, is worth it. I mean, I like a lot, but I kind of grew up with it, so it's hard to. But like the book is a genuinely good book.

Yeah. The first Dune book and the sequels, your mileage may vary, but like the first Dune book I love. I think it's really great. Yeah, and if you end up reading it, friend of the show, Tom Fowler, cartoonist Tom Fowler,

who made the lovely Rocket Cracket Alposter that we sell for charity at the Mike's Fun Store. He, after reading Doon, kind of recently put together a selection of, like, basically cartoons of all the characters, and it's a really interesting take on just, like, the outfits and the clothes and stuff. That's Tom Fowler, and also, like, National Newsman Tom Broke, I love it. I see. So the two Tom's like it.

And I started reading, dude, literally three days ago. How far are you in it? My Kendall says I'm 14% of the way through. What do you think of those Sadu car? I don't think I'm pretty ruthless, right? I don't think I've got them yet. Have a of that Baron, Harkonin, what a jerk. Yeah, I got, I've read a little bit about him.

What a cool guy. Fat. Yeah, and his evil mentat. I imagine that dude likes to tweet a lot. He's always instant framing his meals. Topical. So let's move on. Not or on the speed round of letters. Slowest letters ever.

This is from Ann Marie last name withheld. Ann Marie? I was listening to an old episode where Stewart was talking about them. So now I want to know. Elliot, do you ever call your son Sammy Rye? No, I have it. That's a good question.

I have not. I call him Sammy Boy, Samson, Samolino, Samsonite sometimes. Well, the thing is he's never seen. He's just a little boy, you're nervous about, you know, committing him to that kind of a life of servitude.

It's where he's serving his Lord. But it's a life of honor. The thing, I mean, what it really is, is that like, I'd be fooling myself when I say we came from a samurai lineage, we're etta, if anything, the lowest of the low. And so you handled it body. Yeah, alley into a way. And so unless he, by some miracle,

is named a samurai by a great lord because maybe he saved his life, I don't know. Sure. And the lord is particularly merciful. Then maybe someday he'll be Samu-Rai. Well, and Ellie, it's also scared that there'll be an estrangement between the two of them and Samu will have to become a Ronan.

Oh, that would be terrible. Where he would walk the demons road of my Fumato. Yeah, Ronan Farrow, close to the shitty show in MSNBC. And before it gets canceled. Yeah, you're just making fun of him now because we were never allowed to make fun of him on the daily show. Uh, yes. I can't confirm or deny that, but yes.

This next slide is from Eli last name withheld. Oh, Whitney. He says, Do you guys have any advice for making a tough decision? Currently realizing I hate my job and terrified, yet also extremely apathetic about switching careers, slash starting over, even if it will make me happier. Thanks, dude, you're the sweetest peaches.

Now, apparently, you mistook us from a bibbam, but I'm happy to... Hey, do you think there's what they would ever do across over with Mobius, the kind of artist, and do you call it Mobius, Mobius, ma'am? Well, first off, that would be great. Except, didn't Mobius die kind of recently? He did die a few years ago. That's pretty recently. In this crazy thing called life. Ha ha ha.

Okay, now here's, here's, I'll give you a serious answer for this, because this is how I... Advice for making a tough decision. If you forgot what the question was. This is how I make tough decisions. I'm a big fan of making pro and con lists, being very honest with myself about what the pros are and what the cons are. What is the, what are the advantages to doing this thing? What are the disadvantages?

Now before you do that, you have to make a pro and con list about making a pro and con list. No, that's a waste of time, Dan. All right, sorry, I apologize. That's awesome. It was being super honest. Yeah, he was opening up his heart. He's opening up your heart.

He changed. No, he didn't. Go on. He changed the heart. You hold up, and we hold up, us. He changed. No, he did. Go on. He changed the art. You hold up art and we hold up us. He changed the tags on this podcast from comedy to self-help. Exactly. So I make a pro and a con list and I am very honest with how I think you'll turn out

and what I want from this thing. Then, I think what is the best case scenario? What is the worst case scenario? And is the risk of the worst case scenario worth the payoff of the bet possibly the best case scenario, what is the worst case scenario, and is the risk of the worst case scenario worth the payoff of the bet possibly the best case scenario. And then you just got to do the math yourself. Once you've laid out all the different factors, you can treat it almost like an equation and see where the where the heavier weight is and where it makes the most sense to make the decision. Knowing, of course, that any hard decision, decision, any hard decision carries some aspect of risk

and that even if it goes the wrong way, that risk can be empowering in that you are taking your life in your own hands and operating over your own destiny in a way that you don't really get that many chances to in your life. And so I would say you've to put a thought in it, be honest with yourself, figure out the factors, and then take a moment to recognize the power you have

in that moment over yourself in your place in the world, and just be satisfied with that. No, no, you got it all wrong. What you got to do is you have to be a passive figure in your own life and let your wife make all of the big decisions for you and then get divorced and feel completely adrift and unable to do. And then your dog comes and chops your fucking nugget off. Wow, right?

Yeah, that was what I was talking about. You were talking about Macbeth. That's right. I can't think of anyone else that that refers to whether you were talking about chops your nugget off. First off, man, I'm sorry that you were having a moment of emotional honesty and I had to bring it back to the bard. No, no, no, no.

Dan interrupted my moment. I don't think I interrupted. I think I waited calmly for you to... Oh no, wait, it was Stuart who interrupted. Yeah, I stepped all over it through salt on your moment. Yeah, it's my turn of voice. He's sent on both two boys. I got Two things to say first off is I do all my best thinking when I'm either jogging or when I'm in the shower

Because I know that you can invent a jogging shower that probably be great Because that combines the two activities and I know not fully the least any time doing them. That sounds pretty sweet. Yeah, because if you're lucky, if you're lucky, you'll just slip and break your neck and you'll never have to make a decision ever again, because that would be a dead or parallel. And my little weasel ghost would fly up in the air, fly in the heart. Just play it a little harp. The other one is, is basically something that I know I said to you when you were leaving the daily show, which is, if you had the, I think if you when you were leaving the Daily Show, which is, Dan doesn't know I'm like,

if you have the, I think if you have the opportunity and you don't mind doing the work, it's always a good idea to try to bet on yourself. Because I don't, I think a lot of people don't really do that enough. And it's, you deserve to take a risk a couple times in your life. And as long as you're willing to put as long as you're going to work for it, you should do it. It's a good point. So I hope that one of the one of the advices you got today helps you be

alive, probably not mine. I mean, mine and stewards are mutually inclusive. You can both go work together. Yours, of course, is a cry for help in a cold dark world as it from the bottom of a deep well. Yeah. Stewart is comfortably shaking Dan's shoulder right now. So much as a not particularly emotionally open hockey coach would do a she a who has just learned that he has youth cancer. Sorry youth cancer is different from regular cancer.

It's hip and cool. Yeah, it's ironic. It needs goger. It needs goger and it's always on its damn phone. So this last letter is from Christopher last name withheld. Columbus. Where am I? Is this India? No Christopher? You're on the new world It's time to stop making a Harry Potter movies Mario what are you doing here?

$700,000 idea and it goes like this this, the Thriller music video, except their cats. And at the end, cat Michael Jackson opens his eyes and their human eyes. Surprise. No one's done that yet. Wait, so they would be cats and they turn into cat people? That's the part of the podcast where people are really high, so does he. I mean, I would let Dan, I would like that if just as SNL puts, it's weirder and often best sketches in the 1125 p- oh no, sorry, in the 12-55 AM slot.

I would like it if you would put the weirdest short letter at the last end of the mail. I'm trying to do that from now on. The best part about watching that music video with the cats is that you're gonna see them and you're gonna be like, those cats are adorable. I love them. This makes me so happy. And you're gonna see that ending from a mile away, but when it happens, you're still gonna crack up.

No, it's gonna look weird. A cat with human view. It's gonna terrify you. Oh boy, I love cats, but if my cat looked at me with human eyes, Jesus Christ, you imagine, imagine it. I demand that you imagine it, Stuart. I can see you imagining it. You're smiling. You're smiling. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, to our last segment of the evening, which is recommendations of

movies you should watch instead of wasting your life with Zoolander too. There are a few movies I've seen where I felt such a more palpable sense of I only have a limited amount of time on earth. Why am I doing this? That the art form has limitless possibilities. Yeah, yeah, that's what I felt. I mean, is it my least favorite movie we've ever watched? No, that would still be Home Sweet Hell. But even during Home Sweet Hell,

I didn't get that feeling of like, I missed out on helping my wife, my son to bed tonight, because I had to leave to get to dance to watch the zoo lander too. What am I doing with my life? But I'll just put him to bed tomorrow night. Sure. I mean, you have infinite nights to put him to bed. I feel like that's like a Christopher Nolan movie, right? Well, no, it's that movie. It was the sequel to

what Genie Casas spell. And it lets you put your bed to get to bed. Infinite night. It was the sequel to first night with with Ashawan Connery infinite nights. Oh wow. It's basically it's multiplicity but with Sean Connery from first night. He came out there just he doesn't have enough time to get around to do all the things he needs to do so he clones himself. But Merlin's spell is a little wonky so the clones come out weird. So I never saw that movie was it super sexy then first night I'm Yeah, uh, wait, it felt like a kind of like an exotic Marigold hotel type movie.

Like it's sexy, but first night it's a retailing of the King Arthur's. No, but it's like sexy, but the old. All right. What what now what kind of exotic Marigold hotel are you talking about? Because you just said exotic Marigold hotel. I don't know probably the best quality. Oh, okay. Now I want to see I want to see someone give it The movie is this these old people

Talking about the vacation and they're like it wasn't the best exotic Marigold hotel. Yeah, it was one of the better exotic Marigold hotels. This Marigold hotel is some park compared to many Marigold hotels, like seven cities. The worst is when they can't pay the bills, the building gets bought out by a big chain. It becomes the best Western Marigold hotel. It loses all of its local charm.

I'm sorry I couldn't. I'm sorry. I wasn't engaging your first night talk because I was looking at the flop house recommends page because yet again, I have not watched a movie recently. We want Superman for the other night, Dan.

Yeah, I'd preparation for very, very fun day, which should be happening when this episode is released or a week before we get to episode. Oops. Oh, it'll have so no, you should be happening when this episode is released. Or a week after. A week after. Oops, it'll happen. So, no, you mean a week before this episode? No. Yeah, very before.

Yes, a week before. Yes, this will be, so sorry. Actually, this will be released. We're recording this before very, very fun day. We'll be releasing it a week after very, very fun day. So hopefully we haven't been locked up and kept in jail in Chicago. Uh-oh.

For being too dingdang charming. Yeah, I mean, if they could put up with like the Blues Brothers, I think they could put up with us. Where does that movie take place? Uh, it takes place in Chicago. Oh, right. That's what I thought. Um, so... Now, loosen it.

Well, you got your... John Belushi. Okay. Yeah, your Dan Ackroyd. Yep. Okay. You got your... Orita Franklin. The Brothers of Jim Bel, your Dan Ackroyd. Yep. You got your, or the, or the, the brothers of Jim Belushi and Peter Ackroyd. Yeah, your, uh, yeah, your Ray Charles.

I'm assuming there's a, yeah, your, my app, Chalway. Is that your, that's all I'm assuming. Yeah, your Carrie Fisher. Yeah, your, John Candy. Okay, why they don't want us to take care of them? That's right. You have a lot of responsibility.

You have a lot of responsibility. I've had them in children. Who are older than me? Look, I can't explain the wonders of quantum physics to you, Elliot. I'm at literally can't. Let's get Neil deGrasse Tyson in here. He's a, he's a, he's a, he'll care on anything. Neil? Hey, it's me, Neil deGras in here. He's a he's a hill here on anything Hey, it's me Neil the grass Tyson. Hey wait, I thought you said this was gonna be a video podcast

Okay, see you later, please For some reason I thought you're gonna be like hey, I'm just left. Well, that was a name. Danny took one of your books For some reason I thought you were gonna go. Hey, it's me Neil Neil deGrasse Tyson. It's a pie. Yeah, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, not so funny vamping after I after I got off my phone. I thought you still need a time to think. No, no, no. So. Or whatever it is you do that's like thinking. Oh, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.

To me, and I apologize, that was to me, and not accurate, you're very smart. I'm very thoughtful, ladies. Thanks. So the movie that I was looking into wacky comedies because Zoolander put me in the mood looking into wacky comedies because Zoolander put me in the mood for a wacky comedy and the mind of a wacky comedy. The mind of a married man.

And the mind of a lunatic. In the mind of a killer. I like a wreck, I like, I like a recommend. I think you're gonna say I like erections. I like erections. I give, I give my recommendation to having an erection. Try it out, it feels weird at first, but like it then it feels good. Yeah, two stars, easy.

I'm sorry people without penises. I don't want to exclude you. I mean, I'm sure I hope that you can enjoy sexual pleasure in some form. I don't. Yeah, I'm not familiar with it. I don't I don't understand how it works if it's an erection is not involved. But no, I want to recommend a wacky comedy that I enjoy, which is a shot in the dark,

this second Pink Panther movie in my mind. Possibly the best Pink Panther movie. I would say better than Pink Panther. I mean, it's definitely better than Pink Panther. Pink Panther is not really an Inspector Cluso film. It's more of a David Devon movie, and Peter Sellers is also in it. Yeah. What would you call what would you call that return of the pink band there?

The only other one that I think is kind of close is the one where Herbert Lombs character inspector Dreyfus is trying to blow up the earth. Really? All right. Got it. I like that one. No, I like it. I like shot the dark much more. No, I like that. I'm saying shot in the dark's the best one I think. I've just people have ever seen a pink Panther. Really? That's okay. I never seen a little order. When I was a kid, I think my parents tried to get me to watch one. And when I realized there wasn't like a cartoon Panther character, I was like, fuck this. I will

say that whenever Peter Sellers is not on screen or to a lesser degree Herbert Lomb, it's pretty boring, any pink Panther movie. Like, they have that problem of 60s comedy is where there's a draggingness to a lot of it. Yeah. But Peter Sellers is so funny as that character that he carries those movies, you know, for the most part. And Sean the Dark is the finest one.

It's the tightest one. It's based on a play. So it kind of keeps it. And you know that makes great movies all the time. No, but it like it keeps it from sprawling too much. Oh, I can see a silly county, baby. Later Pink Panther movies got... Well, it was also...

I can see a silly county. Panther movies got well it was also he was also one of those it was it was before Peter Sellers had gotten to his and Blake Edwards had gotten to their Peter just kind of walk around and do stuff and it'll be hilarious mode yeah which it event which the movies eventually got to and the movies it took more like weirdly racist as they went on to like there are are a lot more like Peter Settler's putting on like as Inspector Pusso putting on costumes and being characters of other nationalities. Yeah, it's pretending to be Chinese and things like that. And also it had what it took, what took Zoolander to movies, I guess to get to it took the Pink Panther movies longer,

which was like they just got too big and too special effect. There's which one is it that ends with that him and Kato get into a get into the like pink Panther mobile at the very end and it breaks down and it's a super unfunny gag that takes forever because they have to get into this stupid looking car and then it just breaks down. Yeah, I don't know. Like all of the later pink Panther movies have such interchangeable names that they might as well be fast in the furious films. the later Pink Panther movies have such interchangeable names that they might as well be fast in the furious films. But Sean the Dark sets itself aside by being good and having a memorable title. And it's got one of the greatest Henry Mansini themes outside of the original Pink Panther thing. Yeah, it's like the main theme of the greats. Not the streets of Paris. not the streets of Paris, the streets of Paris. No, the ones like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun I mean, where do you want that a little bit? But it's like a quick moving scene. That's a thing. It's still a little long, but it doesn't take forever.

Yeah. That's a good recommendation, Dan. Thanks. A good recommendation for once. Okay, so I'm gonna jump in here. I don't think I talked about this on the podcast, and we brought up Debbie Reynolds earlier, but it was a couple of weeks ago now

that Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds passed away and uh... that the night that Debbie Reynolds passed away my wife and I watched postcards from the edge a movie i hadn't seen up to that point and it's really great uh... it's a movie based on uh... maral strepes or not maral strepes carry fisher's memoir where maral strepes plays a uh-fisher analog, basically, and Shirley McLean plays a Debbie Reynolds analog. And it's just this great little story about a woman, an actress, kind of dealing with the general shittiness of Hollywood.

And it's held together by these amazing performances, by these amazing performances by these two actresses. And it's rare, it's great to see a movie about a mother daughter relationship that is both interesting and dramatic, but it isn't like, it's not all melodrama and it's, I don't know, it's just really great.

And the little details of Meryl Streep's performance, the way she, my wife is talking about how Meryl Streep shows both a like love and a respect, but also such hatred toward her mother in some of those scenes. It's just so great. Yeah, so check it out. her mother and some of those scenes. It's just so great. Yeah, so check it out. I'm going to recommend a movie about, uh, so let's let's not let's make no bones about it. We're living in a time where the person who's in charge of our country is it's kind of frightening where it's going to kill. We're not going to fight you on that one. Okay, I know you guys are, I know, Stuart, I see that hat you're wearing. So that's, yeah.

Yeah, it says this buds for you. For me, yeah, it says make America great again. I don't even know what that means. Yeah, it's a California raisins thing. Yeah, no, I mean, we're basically, I'm assuming you're going to be recommending the Super Mario Brothers movie because That's the president reminds me so much of Dennis Hopper's version of Bowser Yeah, or King Kupa is also yeah big Bowser do his friends dude. No, but I've been thinking a lot about movies that take place

It the person that I feel like I've been hearing a lot of comparisons between the president and is Mussolini And I was so I'm thinking about movies about Italy under Mussolini. And one that I saw a little while ago that I found more affecting than I thought I would. And I kept thinking about afterwards is a movie called Love and Anarchy. It's a Lena Wharton-Ulor movie. And it stars Giancarlo Giannini as this guy who is kind of a yokel from the sticks in Italy. It's the time Mussolini is in charge and he's a guy who kind of has nothing to lose and decides he's going to be part of this conspiracy to assassinate Mussolini. And he's

supposed to meet up with a prostitute at this one brothel in Rome, he's going to hide out there and she's going to help him accomplish this assassination. And he falls in love with one of the other prostitutes there and finds himself kind of torn now because he thought he didn't have anything to live for and now he kind of does, but he feels like he needs to accomplish this mission and doesn't know how to embody these two, these two different drives of finding personal happiness

or making this huge political impact. And it kind of shows just how screwed up anyone's life is under a government that is doing terrible things. It does a little bit too much of something European movies do, which is romanticizing brothels as places where the ladies are all kind of like the ladies are in control and having a Grand Old Time and the clients who come in are just kind of like bumbling fools that they out that they have fun with but I feel like At a certain point the movie accomplishes what sucker punch was trying to accomplish where it's like Hey look this guy's living out of brothel. There's women and their underpants around him all the time actually It's not that fun place to be. You shouldn't ever fan, you shouldn't have made the mistake of fantasizing about that

or seeing it as a fantasy. And the movie has a far more wrenching ending than I expected. But it's really interesting and the, and I think it was really good. It's called love and anarchy. All right. You were telling three movies, Italian. Italian, you know who really was it? Just like a like a Mario like a Mario. Hey, it's me. I like whatever that movie was that Elliott was recommending Really listening, but I think I'm gonna like it cuz it's a place in my home country over Italy

I'm gonna watch you when I'm allowed you around in my black and tux, huh? That's me that's at the callback. That's a no that's a good me. That's a callback. That's a good boss. That's a good callback. There ain't no sanity clause. Anyway, well, that's been us for now. So let's say thanks to our network, Max Fon. Sure.

There's a lot of great shows in there. Thanks for now, Max Fon. There's a ton of great networks. You've listened to that. You're really worth listening. Or that's the level of care that you put into that. I think it's more that's the level of tired I am. This is, lately I've been noticing

when I'm usually pretty good without sleep. I haven't been getting a great amount of sleep lately. And I'm starting to recognize that's affected me and that I'll be like, okay, Sammy, gotta get you on dress for your bath. So you close in the garbage and then you'll be like, daddy, just do my shirt in the garbage.

I look, oh right, sorry, I thought that was a hamper. Let me get that out of there. We're like, look, time to wash your hands. I start putting toothpaste on his toothbrush. He's like, daddy, no. Well that's something you were explaining to me that you saw a real Mr. Mom. So I used to be a Mr. Dad.

You saw that TV show Supernatural, finally, 200 episodes, so you're like, I gotta finish it. I gotta watch all these apps. That's what I'd expect people to watch. You're gonna find out what's happened to the brothers. Yeah. Oh, okay. I guess I'll finally pick up Charmed.

No, seriously, go a- What a show, they pick up Charmed. No, seriously, go a show that Charmed. Go check out maxfun.org. There's a lot of great Max Fun Show. There's a lot of great shows throwing shades. Oh, no, Ross and Kerry, the adventure zone. What channel picked up, is that, what channel is the throwing shade show on? Oh, yeah, cool, awesome.

Yeah, I'm excited for that. And My brother and my brother, my brother, me have their show coming up on CISO. There's TV shows all around, man. And since this is coming out after very, very fun day, thanks to the people of Chicago for what I assume will be a tumultuous, amazing welcome that you're going to be giving us in the other shows. And the casserole pizza that my wife and I are going to eat in a immediately full of sleep for three days I'm guessing. But it's been a delight to be with you, but we got to go.

Thank you for the flop house. I've been Dan McCoy. Hey, you know, I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaylen, and I want you to just remember, hey, do something good for someone every single day You'll feel better. Good forward. We're backward sideways Tonight with Paul D. Mottie My name is like a little ding ding ding ding ding Baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa- Bada da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da String songs, kind of. I'm definitely a little bit of a fool. Ooh, cares. Could you see the look on my face when I was like,

when can I jump in with the Mr. Belvedere theme? Oops, I keep missing. I saw the big, pick it up from your brain. So look on my face. You saw the hamster wheel cooking up. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture, artist owned. Listener supported.

That's fun!