The Flop House - Ep. #230 - Monster Trucks

Episode Date: April 29, 2017

We discuss the movie based on a not-really pun, Monster Trucks. Meanwhile Elliott talks about Love in an Elevator for waaay too long, Stu asks some Saved by the Bell questions, Dan's penis habits are described at length, and we're all sorry about the technical problems in this episode. Wikipedia synopsis for Monster Trucks Movies recommended in this episode: The Void The Purge: Election Year Creed

On this episode we discuss Monster Trucks. You're welcome. Guys, because I made you watch this movie. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington. Hello, Elliot Kaylen here. Bringing the energy, bringing the pet, bringing everything we need. Oh, I'm so tired. Yeah, I worked it out. Oh man, I didn't know you used a pet.

Why are we so pepless? Where'd the pet go? Should we call the pet boys? Damn, pet boys stole it the middle of the night. Just like they do. Why are we so pepless? Where'd the pep go? How should we call the pep boys? Damn, pep boys stole it the middle of the night. Just like they do. It was, well, we shouldn't have invited them in in the first place.

That's the first law about protecting yourself against a pep boy. Once you invite a pep boy and all the pep boys think they can come in whenever they want. And they steal the pep and they put it in their heads. And that's why their heads are so big. I hung a garland of olives around my neck because that scares the pep and they put it in their heads and that's why their heads are so big. I hung a garland of olives around my neck because that scares the pet boys away, but Dan just ate all my olives.

And I hung the delicious. And I hung the delicious. And now I'm a murderer. Because I killed the director if I want someone to eat cheese with. Well, I guess, I mean, how long are you going to be in jail when for murdering him? Uh, I mean, the trial is tomorrow. I should be planning my defense. Marvel Netflix universe.

Yeah, we're being tried in Hell's kitchen. Luckily, I'm going to turn state's evidence on the hand. And so I think I'll get off. Yeah. Hey, you're a hand to get off. Okay. I saw the way else. It's funny because it's true, Dan mastermates. Yeah, I You're working on it. You can get off. Okay. Oh I saw the wheels true. It's funny because it's true Dan masterbates. Mm-hmm

What guys real talk? At backward chair backward Touch yourself down there. It's not a real problem Everyone does it Dan Lee you're gonna have to cancel your seminar with the students I would be getting some complaints from their parents that they're just walking home masturbating as they walk into the door. First off, this is supposed to be a math seminar. Yeah, it's supposed to be an SAT to algebra prep.

Yeah, a handpluss, weenery equals smiley face. Exactly. It's not math. It's math that you can use in real life. Number two, I'm like normal math. We called up your references. Half of them turn out to be gas stations in the Tampa area. And one of them, it was just a recording of someone laughing.

What's that all about, Dan? Is that a scary laugh or was it like a Boob Jolly Santa belly laugh? It was a big Jolly Santa belly laugh, but it just kept repeating. So it became creepy through repetition. Oh, like a too many cooks. Yeah. And the last reference was that guy who broke into that PBS signal in the 80s with a Max headroom mascot.

They finally caught that guy. Well, no, he told us all about it. Was it just Matt Fruer or was it a guy wearing a mask? No, it was a guy who was not Matt Fruer himself. It was a guy wearing a mask, headroom mask. Cause sometimes when you look at Matt Fruer's face, you think it's a mask, but it's not. He's just very expressing.

Oh. Now we're insulting the late Matt Fruer. Wait, are you dying? I think so. He was not aware of him black recently. Oh my god, his character, oh god. Now I got to find out everybody's internet. No, you know what? What do you want to do? You know what? I'm thinking of you know who I'm thinking of I'm thinking that character actors in the game

Yeah, Matt fruers still oh the one who plays like a doctor Yeah, no Matt fruers still alive. That's earlier today. I was convinced Tim Curry I was halfway through ordering a dozen roses for his family Rose I mean you can really you It's like a nice dude. Oh, black roses, of course. You can do that with a nice gesture. Because it was a very metal funeral. Yeah, because like Slash is going to play the big house.

Because Matt Fruer, in his will, that he wants to be buried exactly like in the November and November video. He's got a marine baggage, yeah. And then he's going to be on your ground like in the, what is that? Don't cry baggage. Now, here's one of our most popular packages. It's dropped in popularity a little bit as we get farther and farther from the 90s,

but it's our November rain package. In this package, Slash actually stands on your coffin and plays the his hit song, Welcome to the Jungle. Yeah, wow. We couldn't get the rights to November rain. I'm sorry, but it brings kind of an up atmosphere to the funeral Because the casket flies away with balloons attached also We we bring a wedding cake so you can remember you can remind yourself of your wedding

But someone will jump into that wedding cake. Yep, they were that's my favorite thing about that fucking video Who is at a wedding and he's like up? It's it's raining through, and now it's time for me to fuck up the cake. We want to do this all day. Who knows what kind of crazy wedding Axel was having? It's almost like that guy in the middle of the rain storm got his suit on fire. And he's like, I need to put this up the only way I know how. Stop it, you're stopping, you're off in a row.

Is that a big pile of fire-retarded chemicals? No, it turned out to be cake. I'm sorry, that was fire foam. And Axel Rose, who was the groom, is like, oh, Axel fully my best man. Can you please show this man out? Since you're a police officer. And Axel from a truck, monster trucks.

Hey. So what we do normally here is we watch a movie that's a bad movie and then we talk about it. I have some laughs and then we do some other shit later on no spoilers Usually it's go home and go to sleep. Yeah, I mean no, I mean other stuff on the podcast We don't go home. We don't record ourselves going home and going to sleep. Oh, I do but illegal purposes. Yeah So what do we want? We do my wear about okay, I was about to ask with thank you for your comments.

So, yeah, they're in hell to stowty, put the screws to us and he's like, you're watching monster trucks. The way I remember it was, Stuart was like, let's watch monster trucks, monster trucks, monster trucks, anyone, monster trucks. Dan's like, why don't we watch the 50 shades sequel or if we don't watch it tonight,

I'm gonna be unable to prevent myself from watching it later. And the aforementioned hand-to-penis transaction will take. I can only assume, I don't want to write the rest of the story for it. No, no, yeah. No. Like the future is unwritten. Yeah, exactly. I think this part of the future is pretty well written.

That the only way to save you from the sin of owning is if we watch the movie if the if the past is prelude then yes if we can look to the past for guidance in our future then certainly yeah the tea leaves tell me the runes stones yeah yeah so I cut open a goose's liver and it told me you'd be masturbating at some point. Was that goose liver right? Only time will tell. Time and Dan's masturbation diary.

It seems like a sort of unnecessary murder of a goose because I think that you could probably have surmised that that was going to happen at some point. Oh no, the goose is still with us. In fact, here he is right now. Dan McCoy, this is your sex life. Wack, wack, I'm a goose. Wack, wack, wack, you're gonna, you know, play with yourself at some point.

Wack, goodnight everybody. It's weird that goose came out doing a duck impression, but it's a living. He's transitioning. For goose to duck. So Dan, before I dig any deeper holes for myself, uh, we're saying, what movie we watch tonight? We watched a movie called Monster Trucks.

Or was it a Monster Truck? I think it was Monster Trucks. And the movie did fulfill its mandate of plural monster trucks. Movie opens, smash cut. We see an open field. And the most beautiful of all creatures running through that field.

That's right, a giant truck. So we immediately know we're in for it because we're about to see a truck driving around. We're like, okay, the movie's, it's providing a truck, but can it provide a monster? Well, we'll see, because driving that truck is kind of a jerky ass old dude who makes fun of a character will eventually find out his hero. And one of them is a, I don't remember trick, trip. Okay, let me, okay. So, trip is your normal average teenager

who looks like he's pushing 30, riding the school bus because his family can't afford to buy him a cool truck, like the only other teenage boy who seems to go to school. I mean, we see there's two teenage boys in this movie other than our hero. Yes. There's the jerk who has a truck that he can't pay for. It's a big green truck.

We don't know he can't pay for it till the end. And then a boy who's much younger, apparently, who's not even 16, who's dad owns a truck dealership. So it's a very truck center. And he appears to also be in his 20s. But okay, we're looking at a small town. Let's call it truckton, where trucks are the main export, main import,

currency, industry, religion, everything loves trucks there. But dogs love trucks, people love trucks. Trucks, they probably love trucks. I mean, at least the cover of Aerosmith's pump, trucks are loving each other. The trucks have sex on the cover of Aerosmith's pump. Drugs are loving each other. The trucks have sex on the cover of Aerosmith's pump. Yeah. Well, I'm not familiar with Aerosmith.

Yeah, Joy, didn't you buy that record just so you could listen to Love and the Elevator like a million times? I thought you were going to like, do you? Love in the elevator? Yeah, love in that elevator. Then you buy that when it goes up and sometimes when it goes down, I thought you were going, did you buy that record so you could look at that picture of trucks having sex? Yeah.

So love and elevator is a is there's no subtext that song, right? It's literally just about having sex in an elevator. Yeah. That's the one. I think that's the one with a story of a time he had sex in elevator. Or is it? Well, it's about living it up like you're going down, man. But there's a like that.

I mean, there is that skit at the beginning where it's a woman who is clearly, you know, has a decent job as a elevator operator. And, you know, Steven Tyler gets on there. He's just a real whirlwind of scarves and hair. Okay. A real Tasmanian devil. And she,

put a scarf on the Tasmanian devil. Take your shoes off. That's Stephen Tyler. She talks to him for a little bit. She asks him if he's going down and he's like, hell, yeah. I think he actually just laughs or chuckles or something. You're like, oh, I get it. And then you look at the cover that record.

And you're like, oh, this is dirty. I thought those two trucks were just awkwardly posed. Uh, so because my assumption is, here's how, here's the thought process on this Stephen Tyler said, he's entered the hotel he's staying at. Errol Smith is, as always, on tour around the world. Do I need to pose the correction now? The clearly the elevator is in a department store because the operator lists what's on the different on the different department store.

Okay. Sorry. I got a department store. Okay. Sorry to flag your flag. Sorry. Let me read. Let me read. And you're painting this picture. How cold is Stephen Tyler's neck? Oh, because it's well scarved.

It is very warm. All right. In fact, maybe a little too warm because it's going to a little hot in this elevator. All me. Now, he is just glad to be alive because the revolution X is over. And he's been saved after being taken hostage by the would be revolutionaries by you, the player, using a prop mounted machine

gun in the arcade cabinet. That was a Sega CD game. I knew it as an arcade game, so I don't know. Perhaps it was, yes, a sewer shark or a night trap, a Sega CD game. Night trap, which is coming back. Better than ever. So he's like, oh, like I feel alive, I feel good. I've did some great show.

I was saved from these revolutionary hostages, hostage takers. And now I'm in this elevator and this elevator operator. And right off the bat, he's like, it's a little weird, there's an elevator operator in this elevator because it's the 1980s. All these elevators have been switched to automatic mechanisms.

So, is it like the first time I ever went to a gas station in New Jersey and was like, who is this person? It was a costing my vehicle. Man handling my gas tank. Yes, exactly. So he's like, did I wander into the shining hotel? Is it the 1920s?

If I always been here and she says, Mr. Tyler, can I call you that? Lives dead? We get this a lot. No, it's just a thing that we do at this department store, kind of an old-timey store. Anyway, let me ask you, there's a lot of floors above us. I'm Stephen Tyler, right? Yeah, okay. So, are you going down? And here's the thought process. I just walked into the elevator on the ground floor. Either there's a basement showroom, which I was not aware of and did not appear on the store directory, which I consulted in detail to know which floor I should go to for my men's bathing garments, which is what I was here to buy.

My bathing scarf. Needing a bathing scarf to make sure my neck does not get cold in the pool at the hotel where I'm staying. He's so he's saying, so why would she ask if I was going down when there is no lower floors? Well, Steven, let's put our mind to this, shall we? Going down means, okay, definition number one. Let's check my mental dictionary. It means to move downwards in position.

All right, the elevators can't go any further down. It is. And also notice the elevators. Let me just check the buttons. Yes, there's no basement button on the elevators. So that confirms what the directory told me. There's no lower floors. So.

The elevator operator is making a strange like leering face and is pointing at a bucket of slop on the floor of the elevator. I don't know if that means. Slop, I'm not aware. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. So let's, the slop seems like some kind of strange mysterious ex-factor.

Let's remove the slop from our thinking right now because it's possible that it was left here by say, a pig farmer who stopped into by his own bathing accoutrements, well, on the way to feed his pigs and it's trough with slop so let's take the slop and let's place it in what we're gonna call a non-offensive agent. This is something that I can safely remove from the scenario if I was Sherlock Holmes I would say what a deductively rationally what are the things that I should be able to be looking at for clues?

This slot doesn't fit into the schema of the scenario, so perhaps I'll set it aside. So number two, definition for going down. Why that would be, I mean, kind of halfway to an innuendo for performing oral sex on someone. Let me just quickly check my mental dictionary of sexual positions. Can men do that to women? They can. Okay, I remember it. I saw go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one.

I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one.

I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one.

I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I said, please sir, take that away from me. That's not how I get my kicks, young man. But let's see. Do I look crazy to you? Because it would be amazing if I did. I would be crying. I had to look at that for another moment.

That gives me an idea for three different songs. I'll file that away for some future time when Alicia Silverstone is old enough to appear in a video for me. Now she's just a young child, I assume, since she's not famous at the moment. Now, getting back to the situation with the elevator operator, the way she's looking at me, let me just look up on my pocket device, which I have because I'm from the future. This is a lot of people don't know about Steven Tyler.

God, I love him. Show me female arousal facial expressions, okay? Madam elevator operator, let me just hold this up to you. Yes. I see a number of similarities here and okay. Yes. You're googling female arousal facial expression. So elevator operator X, uh, let me positive scenario you and if I am incorrect, I apologize profusely. I see even Tyler role make good with tickets for free to any of my Aerosmith musical shows or anything like that. Perhaps a free play token for Revolution X, the arcade game based on my real life. Just single one.

That means you got equal value to that and the musical performance. No, let me posit to you that you are suggesting to me that you would like me to perform a sexual act on you. Perhaps in return, I will receive a sexual act or favor from you. I assume you would stop the elevator between floors and then we would do that deed to put it in crude terms. So did I buy a ticket to one man show or what it will say? It's a long day show called Stephen Tyler. A love and an Elliott Kaelin is is Stephen Tyler loving in an elevator tonight.

So Dan, monster trucks, we're in a world where there's monsters and truck trucks. Trent is a high school student who's not, he can't afford a truck, he's not popular. He's not an integral friend. He's a roughly 26 year old high school student. He lives at home with his mom. Amy Ryan. Amy Ryan who's in the movie, literally in two scenes. Yeah, one of them has no, no, no words.

And his stepdad played by Barry Pepper. Uh-huh. Or maybe it's just his mom's boyfriend, boyfriend, but I thought stepdad. Mm-hmm. I think it's his boyfriend, because like, his boyfriend, her boyfriend, because the problem is like, he's worried that he won't stick around.

It's like that's the big conflict. So he's constantly throwing salt on Barry Pepper. Yeah, I got it. He still got it, guys. That classics too well, he didn't condom it material. Now at this point, we've been introduced to Amy Ryan and Barry Pepper and we're like, there can't be any more stars in this movie.

Oh no, oh no, no, no, look out to the heavens tonight. Listeners, you'll notice the skies are dark. And why is that still earth? Because Danny Glovers in this movie. Because all the stars are in monster trucks. If by all the stars we mean, Amy Ryan, Barry Pepper, Danny Glover, and Frank Whaley. And Rob Lowe's in it too.

Rob Lowe and Thomas Lenn And Tomas Lennon. Tomas Lennon. Wait, the writer of the script for Night of the Museum, Tomas Lennon? Yes, Reno 9-1-1's, Thomas Lennon, AKA, he also wrote that ball's a fury movie, I think. Herbie fully loaded. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Hey guys, it's just breaking in here for a second. So we had a bunch of technical difficulties. We kept having to stop the recording because there was a thing where our, what we said, just turned into crazy beat-boop noises. We would look at the waveform and it was a bunch of squares rather than normal waveform things and we'd be like that's not right. We are a bunch of

squares. We checked back and it was making terrible noises so we switched to the internal microphone on the computer. The way we're looking for was computer. Yeah. If this episode suddenly sounds a lot worse, that's why. And we apologize. We're going to hopefully be able to fix this in future episodes. Yeah, it's pretty easy. Just take your podcast player, go over to unsubscribe and just mash your thumb against it

till your iPhone screen breaks. That'll correct our recording problem. Yeah, yeah, you won't have to worry about that anymore. No, I think it's time for, I've had this computer for something like seven years now. Whoa, seven years. Seven years. Whoa, someone's looking at new computers

and the color of them, I'm interested. I think it's time for us to switch over and get a new computer. But I apologize for how this audio probably sounds right now. But there's nothing we can do about it. So hooray! Better this than no episode, right? Well, I guess it's not about monster trucks, I'm not so sure. Dan, let's just talk about monster trucks. Okay. So this oil company, TeraVex, it's really an underwater lake. An underground lake.

Uh-oh, it finds some kind of strange life form, these tentacle monsters, and it captures two of them, but a third one goes on the loose. Uh-oh, it ends up appearing at the junkyard that trip works at. Trip manages it, he sees it, and it scares him, and he calls the police. The police run by his mom's boyfriend, Barry Pepper, who was the sheriff in the town. And the monster has gone by the time they shot him, he's like, what? But Barry Pepper doesn't believe him, thinks it was a prank, but it was no prank. It was a monster. As Trick finds out, when he traps the monster by baiting it, baiting a trap with oil. Because these animals eat oil.

Turns out to be some kind of big tentacle monster. Stuart Dan, wanna describe this monster for us? The titula and monster in the truck? It's like a cute cthulhu. It's like an adorable dog of a cthulhu. Yeah, it's kinda like if the monster from Deep Rising was a little cuter, not not much but like a little bit. That's it.

It struck me as like an adorable version of the squid from Prometheus. Oh, I was thinking that too. Not quite as sexy though. The squid from Prometheus is very sexy. Oh, tell me about it. Just leave me alone with that squid for a couple of minutes. Yeah, or are you going to be like the same as that or like one of those beef cakes and I'm like, I can't help myself from one of those big white beef cakes

Wait, you mean like a like a meat pie? Well, no, no, the British style pub meat pie. Yeah, let me think about Prometheus all the meat pies in that no idiot I'm talking about the big white beef cake due to rips off that dude's head Oh Yeah, like the what when he strips that down in the beginning and then drains that thing that turns him into DNA goo. So you can seed life on a planet. Yeah.

Yeah. We've all been there right now and seeding life on the planet when we strip down. Yeah, I mean, I talked about it earlier in the podcast. Yeah. You were just, so when Dan does that to himself, when he uses himself like that, but he's really doing I wouldn't call it You it's I mean it's consensual I guess he's trying to just spread genetic material into the world Create biodiversity. I hate to break it to you damn. That's not how it works. No, I can't reproduce just by Putting my spores all over the place

Like you smear your hand around on library books, like it's good in the way. And- And- And- And- And- And-

And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And-

And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- And- That's Alie. Alie. Alie, who is totally into him and he just cannot read the science. And as we mentioned in the while watching the movie, Dan's crush notwithstanding, she is certainly better than the material she's given.

Yeah, sure. And she's great. She was in a suburbatory, which is an underrated little... What? The con. Oh, okay. I don't know what it was underrated. I couldn't tell what it was.

I couldn't tell. We were trapped in a vortex of vocal fron. She was in the evil dead remake. She was the hero of that. So much vocal fron. Yep. A rock Obama here. She was a hero of Don't Break.

It's all, she's very good. I like her a lot. Well, she's the nerd character, which means she's beautiful. And because, as we, we're talking about, like Roman Mars says, we're all beautiful nerds. I'm paraphrasing. Of course, Christina Aguilara says, we're all beautiful nerds. Well, she says, you are beautiful. Yeah.

And every single way. But she's leaving herself out of that She's not saying we're being able to she knows she's hideous Inside is yeah, no, I'm sure she's a fine person. She's the voice or whatever anyway, so Trip and Meredith they find out that this creature who trip names Creech. Uh-huh is oh, it's short for creature I guess short for creature. That's better than sure yeah yeah or yeah now you could have given another name like slippy or tentacle or gas guzzler gas guzzler oilover hmm

you got one on tip of your tongue octoboy okay well let's say I guess we'll call octoboy You don't want to get one on to be your turn? Octo boy. Alright. Okay, well let's say, I guess we'll call Octo boy for the next thing episode. Take two, let's try the next idea. Squidzy. Squidzy, I'm missing Octo boy, I didn't think that was gonna be possible. Give you one more try, three strikes and you're out. Tintle clavular.

I kind of like it. I mean, it sounds like a demon in a movie Stewart would like. Yeah, you finished the Krugman configuration and Tintle clavular comes out. I heard a prophecy about the Tintle clavular. So, Octoboy or Creech, as they call him. Trip has two interests in life. One, finding a follower figure that he can relate to. Because his dad, Wait, are we talking about creatures, motivations or trips?

Trips. One, finding a followed figure and two, trucks. He works with a junkyard, he loves making trucks, he's re-fixing up an old truck. He's a real gear head. He's a real gear head, which also sounds like a hell-raiser type character like Tinty Clavius. Yeah, real grease monkey.

Which again, could also be a Santa bite. There's almost no two, there's no two two word phrase that would not be a Hellraiser villain. Yeah. Come up with the one. Dan, come up with the two word phrase that can't be a Hellraiser villain. Uh, Clay.

This is not that hard. Clay and Derek? You know, you know, it can't be a day. Classic Frank. It's like an oil Derek. It's an oil Derek. I'm thinking about oil. I got oil on the brain because of the clavulus.

That's very dangerous. That's a clavulus. That oil on your brain. Or on your brain. I mean, not blame. David, you know, oil on the brain. I'm not. It's only protection from the ice.

He's encased him. Yeah. So, the long story short, they make friends with Octo Boyton to claggillist Creech and it turns out Creech, well here's where I don't buy what the movie's selling. Creech, go on. For all's into the body of a car that trip is a truck. I'm so sorry, a truck that Creech has been working on. And he's weird. What is weird about that?

You know, back in the day when I had a ball python, my ball python, the first thing he did when I just let him hang out in the basement, which was a bad idea, was to immediately find the closest like lazy boy recliner and then wrap himself all up in the guts of that shit. Okay, well maybe I'm-

Took forever to get him out of there. Maybe I'm wrong then, because Creech twins himself right on the axle. That ball python's name was bone crusher. Because when I was a little boy- Is that another monster truck? It should be, right? When I was a little boy,

when I was very angry at my mom, I would stand at the top of the staircase. And just yell bone crusher. I would stare at her and I would stomp my feet and I would say, I'm going to crush your bones and throw them out the window. So I was able to take that moment in my life and transform it into a beautiful creature

named Bone Crusher at the ball python. What had eventually happened to bone crusher? So he died of mouth rot. Oh, it's terrible. No, it's a mouth rot. It's a mouth rot. It's crazy, dude. It's like super common and the worst thing in the world. It's like a, it's a fungal growth in the snake's mouth.

No, it's horrible. Stewart, am I, am I going to get mouth rot? Yeah. If you keep doing what you've been doing lately, I don't know why you need a mouth-shame made, but Dan just open up your pocket, I'll look some dental dams in there. When he's making out with ball pythons. Now Creech twines himself on the axles this truck and trip finds that Creech can just live inside the truck with a few manipulations to the truck and by controlling when Creech can see the outside world from inside the

when Creech can see the outside world from inside the truck, Creech can make him motor the truck and drive around. Now the movie posits it's brought up briefly by Meredith that this is not doesn't seem like the best way to treat this new beautiful animal and Trip says he likes it come on and the movie kind of expects us to buy that yeah otherwise the film is the enslaving of a new life form he likes it listen to him just to him singing those spirituals that's great always smiling when I walk by whatever I ask him if he likes it, he says yes sir, yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

What? He ran away in the middle of the night, but I thought he loved me. So if you haven't seen the trailers for monster trucks or seen the movie, which you probably shouldn't, you don't understand that how does a tentacle monster make the wheels of a cargo fast? Oh please explain this.

All has to do with when he wraps one of his tentacles around something. I'm talking about Creech, not TRIP. We don't ever talk about TRIP's tentacles. No, or fingers as they're all in the house. Creech is tentacles. When he wraps it around something metal, things start to glow a little bit. They're a little silly.

And then the silly make that shit rotate super fast. And of course, Dan was over there in the corner imagine what it would do to your weeness right Dan? We've been doing a lot of talk about manipulation of Dan's doing this and so I say let's put it's a theme of the show let's it's gonna be in the tag and iTunes. We Dan's weeness. Explicit followed by sweet.

I think let's put a more it's where I'm on talking about some kind of Hand or digit or paw manipulating dance Let's just take that off the table of topics for the moment later. Maybe we can get back to maybe What if I mean I would not recommend it all right, but you could go. Sure. If you want to pay a hawk to do that to you The silly The silly Ranks the wheel's go, which I say is silly

So man, and appears that we're experiencing more technical problems We've moved and delete file. So the company, they've caught two, they've caught creatures parents. And they know, if it were gets out, that this amazing oil-eating life form that's never been seen before lives there. They're not going to be able to live for oil. And so Rob Lowe, he tasks Thomas Lennon with finding out what the deal is, dillio is that kids would say with these aliens so that they can kill them all I guess, but Thomas Lenin he comes to really like the two that he has he's experimenting on. They're all pretty adorable. They are pretty adorbs. For like a big blob.

It's like adorable snot. Like if snot was cute it would be Creech. Yeah, okay, that's a better tagline for the poster than on March 13th Meet Creech. Well, the problem is that a lot of people thought that it was supposed to meet Screech. And I like, finally, that same-by-the-bell feature film. Now, Dan, who would play the characters in the same-by-the-bell feature film? Cast it with current actors. All right. Now, keep in mind that Dennis Haskins will be playing Mr. Belding. It's too bad. He's taking a role from a John Hodgman type.

I would say like a David Kekner to play that role. Sure. So for what's his face? The lead guy? Zach. For some reason Dan intentionally forgot the name of the character, Zach Morris. We've got, like, Prometheus, Michael Fassbender, and a blonde wig. Really, not Zach Efron, who is perfect for the role and is already named Zach? I think he's more of an AC Slater type.

He's got that body, although, the way in the Rock Johnson would be great. The way in the Rock Johnson would be AC Slater, and they'd like D.A. to him with computers. Yeah. The blue-placed creeps, like a J. Barishow. Screech is an elderly Eddie b.a.c.s later and they'd like d.a. to him with computers. Yeah. But who would play Screech? It's like a J. Barrow shell. Screech is an elderly Eddie D's. Well, that was a terrible.

Wow. You know that Eddie D's in his like Dustin Diamond stole all my best at the D's in his like between takes you're going to have to submerge me in that swimming pool with cocoon testicles. And who would play Lisa Turtle? A turtle. An actual turtle. Wow, okay.

Very interesting stunt casting. Who would play Jesse Spano? Played originally by Liz with Berkeley. Now, Lisa Turtle, I should mention, was played by Lark Voorhees, AC Slater by Mario Lopez. Yeah, but in the movie apparently, he's played by Fisher Stevens. An actual turtle So Dan who would play Jesse's man who remembers the activist? Caratop

Okay, it is a female character Non binary bro. Yeah, it's great of Frank acid and now but everybody sweetheart Kelly Capacity Oh, man Every dream, every, every, every dream, a boy or a girl who knows. Yeah. Or I'm assuming even screeches robot wanted to be with me. His name was Kevin, and yes.

How the hell do you think? Okay, let's see. We're going to need somebody. I mean, I'm a stone, the most obvious American sweetheart I can think of. Okay, I'm a stone's pretty good for that, yeah. So, I'm a stone. It's the most obvious American sweetheart I can think of. Okay, Emma Stone's pretty good for that. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

So, Emma Stone and Michael Fastbender. So, I guess Hollywood didn't touch with us. For us? Are we their agents? I don't understand. You're gonna pay us for this. We can't get you today. Yeah.

The hard part's gonna be finding a turtle that can carry the role of Lisa. Yeah, his name's vicious. I don't know. I don't know that'll be hard to carry the role of Lisa. They might get her a loticious. I don't know. I don't know. That would be hard to carry the role of Lisa. They did not give her a lot to do. They gave her plenty to do sometimes. I feel like she was the...

She is on strike, she's rich. There's that episode where she broke her leg and then learned the dance. So the dance competition, yeah. She's into fashion. That's all these things are true. She is eternally beset upon by Screech, who is, I think at that point, that's like emotional beef. Yeah. When your friend is constantly

badgering you like that. Well, the thing is, and this is, look, I'm not one of those guys who's like, oh, the friend zone, oh man, he's women. What are you talking about? Last week, you were complaining about the friend zone, to be for like three hours. Yeah, you're like last week you were complaining about the friend zone to me for like three hours? My wife put me in the friend zone. And just trying to get with my wife, but she's only put me in the friend zone. And I was just odd because you guys have a child. I was talking about the ESPN zone, my favorite theme restaurant. But no, it's screech. It's like screech. Get the message. She's not into you. It's more healthy for you to figure out somebody else to be with.

Maybe Tori was on the show sometimes. Yep, you have traveled back in time to the Tori years. Travel back to Indiana when Tori was a cast member, right? No, I think it was later than that. Okay, so the other thing is, Screech, instead of Miss Bliss, the team is Miss Bliss. Screech should date outside of their immediate circle,

if only to add more students to the spotlight. Like, there was that episode where they do a fucking... They do a... What do you call those things? Where you bury something in the yard with all your memories? Uh... Time capsule? A time capsule.

A time capsule, that's a thing. It was a whole like a time bandit? Like a memory hole? Yeah. It's like a, like a Remember me dig. So they crack over the time capsule and they're, they're putting together a time capsule. For the school, right?

Yeah, for the entire school and all the memories of six fucking students, are you kidding me? Here's my trash. Here's my theory. Have either of you ever heard the story, I have no mouth and dime of scream. Which there's like five or six people left in the world and they're all being kept alive so that they can be tortured by a computer that has taken over the planet. That's the situation basically.

Humanity died out long ago, except for our heroes on the save by the bell plane. Anyone else they see, maybe Mr. Bellings, one of them, I don't know, is just like a fiction created by the computer. It's a real matrix type. Oh, so like that guy that AC Slater catches smoke and a joint in the bathroom, he's just part of the matrix. Exactly.

And Max owns the Max, the diner that's also on school. What about the manager of the Max, who Kelly starts dating for a while. I think just to turn Zach into like an angry cook. I don't remember that one. That was a dark story line. That's also explains how Zach could get a 1502 on his SATs because he never really took them. It's just all part of the computer program. Okay. So, and is that how Jesse Spano was able to kick her addiction to caffeine pills so quickly? So instantly. Yeah. Yeah. Guys, we've talked about all the episodes that's your members. So, you don't remember when the behind the music about

Zach attack? The KCK some of those things? Oh, shit. I do remember that. Yeah. Maybe that was all just part of the major. That's one of the things partly saying that son I think that goes We don't always be together So it was after that episode aired that some fucking coped up studio head is like Fuck it dude. Let's just make a whole show about that and call it California dream That's what happened so monster trucks anyway, I think is it clear what a how This movie really didn't capture our imagination? It's like your classic alien being be friends with kid and they have to go save the other aliens

from an evil company or a government or whatever, like that it's as template of that as it could possibly be. Yeah. You have a town where there are... oh, that's way too final judgment here Oh, so okay cuz maybe I loved it maybe I loved it the population of this town consists of trip his mom who we see twice the Entire to the movie his mom's boyfriend the sheriff the sheriff's two deputies a poor car dealership owner a pork And yeah, most of his business a used car dealer who was about to defraud an old man until during the car chase,

Creech's truck runs over almost the entirety of the stock and then dumps paint all over him. Yeah, ruining his suit that looked like it was worth, I don't know, all of $20. Yeah, he was a real better call-saw. And then also there's the girl who refers to a father many times who we never actually see. And this other kid who...

I mean we've got one of Cardiola's shit. We can paint a picture of her father just through his possessions. That's true, he possesses a barn with a horse in it. Two horses. Two horses. She says he never goes in there. And also a cabin up by lake. Who feeds the horses?

The horse fairy. Oh, okay. Now, anyway, trip is like we got to help Creech find his parents or whatever. And there's a couple different chases as the company hires the kind of bounty hunter, I guess, to track down Creech. He's like the security for the company. He's just the head of security. But yeah, as you say, his guy is like black water type. He's just the head of security. But yeah, as you say, he's kind of like black

water type. The cool thing about this guy is he wears those black latex gloves that tattoo artist wear or like douchey celebrity chefs wear on TV shows. Yeah, I mean, sure. There's one his fingerprints on his tazer. He's like like there's nothing funnier to me than the like a celebrity chef Who instead of wearing normal like latex gloves and a kitchen is like I'm gonna wear these cool black ones Because I have played my own rules. I'm not saying this true. Okay. Now this maybe only happens on bar rescue Yeah, cuz you're like I need to understand how to rescue my own bar. I need to you my own bar. It's if you're going down the tube. I got a Dan McEway prop it up and I'm scared. All my customers will be there. He's always wearing a werewolf mask.

I know. I'm like, hey dude, how are you even drinking with that? I use a straw. I mean, you think seeing a werewolf drinking through a straw would diffuse a lot of the scar retention, but it makes it even more strange. Yeah, it's like a lion wearing a birthday hat. It should be cute, but it's kind of scary. Yeah, did it eat a birthday gift?

It ate it so quickly that the hat flew in the air and the lion did directly on his head. He just shamed his mouth over the kid's head in such a way that the hat directly had his head. Yeah, he just shamed his mouth over the kid's head in such a way that the hat flew onto his head. Yeah. Thank you for explaining what I just said. I thought I had a German saying that it's her type. I did. Triff and Meredith, the girl who wants to be his girlfriend,

but he's just not reading the signals, which is a realistic portrayal of a teen boy. Teen boys do not know how to read signals from girls. Although like this guy, he's so fucking interested in trucks that it is really getting in the way of like, this girl is like so clearly into a... Yeah, like she's all but jumping on him and he's like, ugh but truck.

Yeah, it was interesting. Do you don't have wheels? Where's your windshield? It was interesting that they went with your cargo hold Can you cap and solo fit your cargo home? Tell me about your torque That's what his he has a t-shirt that says tell me about your story so It's interesting. Is this a hammy?

That the casting director went with just a traditional handsom type, you know, like a real Tom Noonan. Yeah, I think so. As opposed to someone who could act. Yeah, as opposed to somebody who's like every day average wallflower Peter Parker type. Well, something we've talked about, I think before, is that how movies everyone has to be super attractive in the movies, which is kind of how movies have always been. But even a character who is supposed to be an outcast.

What I think is going to fill them one, two, three. I mean, that was not a liar. But even a character who's supposed to be a nerd or an outcast or Peter Parker Hringson. I just want to feel like a handsome cool. I just want fucking Arthur the other day. The water's bark cartoon. Yeah, Arthur the art of art starring Dudley Moore.

I'm not even drinking so much. I'm just looking for an ant hill to dig into. The man, what the fuck is I haven't seen that like I don't even remember watching that whole movie before and I watch on Saturday. What is going on there? Why does Liza Manelli like him? Because he's a charming drunk. Is he charming? Not really. That's the thing. Who made this movie? Damn answer for Arthur. He's Dudley Moore, which means he's a little... ...imp of a man.

Oh, certainly. I mean, let's all agree. If Dudley Moore was a normal sized height human and he did the same things he did in Arthur or Ten or any of his movies... He would be a jail. And rightfully so. But he gets away with or ten or any of his movies he would be in jail Yeah, and rightfully so but he gets away with it because he's a leprechaun What if Dudley Moore had been the

Lee What they play creature The title character I guess you're right now imagine Dudley Moore holding on to the axles of a truck I guess you're right. So now imagine Dudley Moore holding onto the axles of a truck. You're going through. You're going through. Oh, oil please. And yeah, just going on drunk and rants. I like it. Dan, can you do a Dudley Moore impression? It seems like you'd be right up your alley.

Okay, Elliot, your junk is so cold. It's me, Dudley Moore. Oh, I'm so drunk right now. Oh, well, what you doing there? That's not that actually. All allow it. That was Judge Dredd. All right. So Judge Dredd let you off the charges of bad impression. So he'd be up. So they go to try, they say, we need some help.

Let me go find my dad. They go visit Frank Waley at his trailer where he lives. He's a minor or something or a driller, but he rats them out to the company and they escape. There's a long car chase Don't don't gloss over the fact that in the car chase the hero Rams his monster truck through the trailer of his father I mean his father ran it around but that does not mean that he can destroy his home

He there is so much collateral damage in this movie and so many cars flipping over. We were like, okay, the driver of that car is dead. Yeah. How many more must create slay before he finally reaches refuge? I mean, at least one moment, uh, J. Lee, these characters like, I hope they were wearing their seat belts. I'm like, I don't think they were. Yeah, they were trying to get a better position to shoot your alien or whatever. They're Splatsville now. Population. Those guys. They're those red spots in those drivers' head videos that you see right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. But on television.

We're watching them right now. So realistic. I don't know. Why are we watching videos on rotten.com? Wait, is that what they still exist? I don't know. Dan, is that on rotten.com Wait, is that still exists? I don't know. Is that real or is it all 4chan now? What is, I don't even know what rotten.com is. But where you would go when you were in college and you wanted to see like, like, like, like, like. But like it took forever to download shit. So you just kind of looked at what showed up.

That's the only way to get a good idea. I'm not defending myself in college. I was an idiot for just looking at random things on the internet. But like it took forever to download shit, so you just kind of looked at what showed up. That's the opposite of an excuse. Like if it takes forever to download shit, you must have made it like a concerted app. There was one more look at the things that you looked at. And four websites, one of them was AOL.com, which is just a portal to other sites, basically.

And you also saw a lot of geososities or is it geosities? I like to say geosities because it sounds like a erosities. I imagine a scientist in the movie is like oh the geosity is off the charts. I've never seen geosities at this level. Speaking of scientists and charts and levels there's an unwieldy long car chase where they go from them. We're in a movie with trucks in the title. There's all unnecessarily long car chase. Oh, but then there's another so and they escape and blah blah blah and they realize they're gonna have to save creatures parents which leads us to they finally get everyone escaped and they realize the

company is gonna pump poison into the underground lake. Thomas Lennon has joined up with our heroes. The three of them are like, we're gonna stop this. Well, we're gonna need some trucks. So they overnight refit two trucks. Yeah, they do like put one foot in front of the other montage. You wanna standard like,

Monstro retrofits. Yeah, where they turn it into Monstro, the whale from Pinocchio. Then they swallow Pinocchio. Pinocchio's like, thanks guys. He's like, I'm gonna tell a shitload of lies on my nose pierces the hull of this whale. Killing it from the inside.

Like a real Kratos. Very direct versions of Pinocchio. He's like, my nose is stuck in you. So I'll drown too, but I take you with me. So anyway. And, and Monstro's like, congratulations, Pinotchio. That's the first non-live you've said all day. No, and there's no strengths back down. Monstro is really good at these cat and mouse psychological games. So they retrofit

these trucks. They go to breakout creatures parents and let me just say this. This movie is essentially a Flintstones It's a living gag for the entire movie because they're using these tentacle monsters To drive their cars as car engines. That's it. It's that all that someone said Hey, what would it really be like if I had a Flintstones type of vehicle? That was operated by an animal moving things. What would be that?

Let me spin that out. Let me, the farthest repercussions. The two other gentlemen who get a story credit on this movie helped that one gentleman extrapolate on that idea. Exactly. So they had another car chase to get to the mine to stop them before they pump the lake full of poison. This leads to a car chase that is, it's over mountain roads,

and one point trip is falling out of, is hanging onto the open door of the truck over a cliff, and the bad guy is trying to ram that truck, and Barry Pepper stops that guy with his car, rightfully so, because that man is trying to murder the son of his girlfriend. Or just anybody, because he's the it. That's a good point. It is also a job to just keep law and order in the town. Yeah. Very pepper finds an enormous

construction equipment machine which leads to a point that I wanted to discuss in greater detail because there's some strange geography which is this cart, they reach a mountain pass. They have a white board up. Okay, here's the narrow mountain pass. Let's just call it the gates of Thermopoly. Okay. And, Creech and his parents in their trucks, driven by trip and Marathon Tom Lennon, are ahead of the bad guys because the bad guys are chasing them.

Just to clarify, Marathon's truck is powered by the female alien monster. Yes, because that's how you match things up at least. Okay, cool. The same way. And that that monster has a bow on his head that's nice. Yeah, they miss it. Yeah, they miss it. So you can tell. So the head mercenary bad guy, he goes light it up and someone sets off a wall of flame to stop the trucks. Now we've established these these alien monsters. They're not I don't know what they are. They never established where these things come.

Yeah, they're deep ones. Yeah, they're just yeah, they're just shogeths or something. They have the insmith look. Yeah, they're flying polyps. Yeah, they don't like fire. We none of us like fire. But they're also they eat oil. I mean, I like fire because it's an important part of modern civilization. I mean, heat or a food destroyer of forests man's greatest enemy this building is on fire

Exactly. Is that the right thing for violence to? That's close enough. If only they had brought these creatures to clamp tower. Oh, yeah, solve all their problems. Yeah, anyway So let's look at the geography. There's a wall of flame. Yep behind that are heroes behind that are the bad guys Barry Pepper drives up and they're like bumper to bumper trying to shove the monsters into the flames They're super close. They're and they're at this this tight mountain pass. There's no room. There's no shoulder There's no room to pull over. It looks like the only option is to go through the fire in the flames like dragon. They're gonna have to jump into the fire so put those some Metallica on the radio. I gotta dance into the fire. The fatal kisses all they need. Nice.

Dancing to the fire. The fatal song. You got a broken drainage. That wall is their Venus. That wall is their fire. It's their desire. Yeah. So, buried pepper shows up in this enormous construction truck. Like huge. Like like it's like a Jawa Sans crawler, it's like a mega force or something like that. And it's so big that it is scraping the sides of this mountain tunnel on both sides.

Like it is that big and it manages to bump the bad guy through the flame onto the other side and then it he tips the top of it because it's like a rock crush dump truck type thing. And the good guys drive up it like a ramp to get over the fire. This all makes perfect sense, Elliot. What is your question coming? My question is, how did the good guys, I guess, become intangible, allowing the bad guys and this enormous truck to drive through them So that it is now ahead of them and now they are in the back of the pack whereas before they were between the bad guys in the fire

How did that happen? Were they able to, like, go into the ground temporarily? Maybe. Maybe they're having the those shredder driller machines that he would use in the industrial sector. They use their tentacle powers they have a lot of tentacle powers because of those monsters. Alright I'll buy it tentacle powers. That's very George Lucas before so you but I see where you're going. Do they jump really high in the air? We never see that until they drive all over the truck that is already passed through them. Was there possibly an entire reel of the film? in the air. We never see that until they drive all over the truck that is already passed

through them. Was there possibly an entire reel of the film? Maybe they yelled cut. When a movie was started, then they started it up again. Very possible. Now, is it also possible that I did was not paying attention for a moment and missed when these trucks, I don't know, drove up a wall together. Elliot, it looks like we have an email from a bee pepper. It says this is highly regular. It says there was clearly a scene where they jumped over the other guys and then jumped over the giant truck. So it's if anyone would know it's the man who is on the set himself, Barry Pepper. Yeah, I mean, he's worked with Steven Spielberg

I mean this guy's a master. Yeah, come on Yeah, it's a reference to Scientology the movie the master yeah, yeah sure You have too many things to understand I'm saying There's a lot of things in there. Oh, you have too many things to understand what I'm saying. What? I did have too many things to understand what you're saying. Anyway, the point is they jump off a mountain. These creatures get the shit beat out of them inside these trucks.

But they make it to their fucking love in it, dude. Oh, yeah. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba, they're loving it. They make it to the poison pumps just a little too late. But they manage to stop the poison pumps in the end. There's a thing. Imagine that's your job, dude, and you're like,

man, I just can't wait to get these poison pumps started. I go, no, these people aren't trying to stop me. No, I care enough about my job. Like, these guys are clearly not like city workers, no offense, the city workers, but these guys are like I Need to get this shit done cuz I gotta start pumping poison in a different site in the morning Like they got out of the business cuz that was their passion like their passion was for poisoning and Pumping poison

Yeah, right, I mean they're like I'm tired of poisoning kids Halloween for free I want to get paid for my passion. And luckily those guys, the fucking whistle blows and they're out of there before those trucks show up. Oh, they must evaporate into their constituent elements because they disappear. Maybe they jump off the cliff like so many alleged lemmings. They use the same Shinobi powers that the monster trucks used to avoid the firewall. Yeah, and so, but they managed to stop all the poison before it gets there too late. The truck that trip is in, falls into this big hole, into the underground lake, but he is saved by all the monsters, because it turns out there's a whole colony of tentacle monsters down there. No, so the poison would have actually killed something. Oh, it would have killed a lot of things.

So no tentacle monsters were killed. Many humans were killed during the car crash. Yeah, we go to assume. And the movie ends with Trip had gets a new truck. I mean, in a way, the humans are killed by the instruments they've created for war, so it's kind of fitting. You mean trucks?

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely means civilian consumer cars. I mean, they knew what they were buying. I mean, that's the subtlety of this movie is like, you really don't know what the movie feels about trucks. Like, our trucks are forced for good, our trucks are forced for bad. It's really about who's in the truck. Yeah, is it a rolling coffin?

Yeah. Or is it a speeding, Altoy'd's tim full of people. It's hard to know, but you're right. It really presents a double edged view of of trucks. It tells both sides of the table. So the we get a little bit of a like a after not an after credit sequence, but like an afterward where we see Barry Pepp's and our hero putting a normal style engineer to rock. I guess that'll work. Trip and his soon to be stepped out, I assume, have buried the hatchet and they really

come to terms with each other. There's a great shout of Barry Pepper and Amy Ryan walking away from a mailbox. I'm assuming clutching their paychecks for that they got from this movie. And we should mention also that the also that earlier in the film. Danny Glover gives a big thumbs up while sitting at the side of the road while his tow truck is taking a crying family's fan out of a ditch. When they need a truck to refit earlier in the film for one of Creech's parents, uh-oh, whose truck needs to be repowed, the rich kid who's always taunting trip in his bright green truck.

Who has those fucking arms though, dude? His arms are jacked. As much as that dude talks. He can back it up! Look at those arms! He's fast. Man, he's just, he's amazing. That's not important stuff. We should move on to final judgments because we've gone so long.

So hard to be counted. I think that's the exact same fish. Because of the technical difficulties, he'll slow us down. And that important stuff. We should move on to final judgments because we've gone so long. So hard to be done. I think that was fish. Because of the technical difficulties. It was a lot of us down. It didn't know if I told you for a long time about loving an elevator either. Yeah.

Before you shut it down, I just want to say, there's this great moment where our hero, the Jack Dune with the truck, see this truck drive by and he is accepted. You know what? Sometimes it's my lady's time to drive and he's sitting in the what like the the convertible VW convertible that his girlfriend's driving and he's holding a big bunch of bags and he's like you know what I can do that I can take this role

sometimes too. No, I can be a supportive boy. You've completely misread the situation. Okay. We are supposed to read that as without his truck, he has been amasculated. He is now not the woman who has an accessory to him, his girlfriend. He is now an accessory to her. The tables have been turned. Oh, so the look he has on the space one trip drives fine, that sick ass truck. It is one of sugar in. Oh, I thought I was a take me with you. Well, there's a little bit of... I can be your girlfriend now. There's a little bit of a, yes, I only worship trucks.

There's a little bit of the, I've been in your position and the tables can be turned. So enjoy it while it lasts. For all things are transitory, says the Buddha. Oh yeah, he became a Buddhist in between scenes. Did I have the bully? Did I not mention that? No, I have. That explains Jack's arms, you know.

Not really. So Dan, final judgments? Yeah, final judgments on this movie. Whether it was a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie kind of like, do you just chomp on the bit to tell us how much you like stamping? I chompin. Kind of like this movie guys. Sure. I like it. You love trucks. Dan didn't to real also a real gear head Yeah, yeah, I mean you can't see is a lot of times when we're recording He's actually and yet there are long periods of silence when he's not saying anything He's actually underneath a truck working on it. Mm-hmm. Does he always has a truck that he's working on it?

It was a part of it. We were watching Mad Max Fury Road and I caught him crying and he's like I'm like what's wrong Danny? You say about him crying and he's like, I'm like, what's wrong, Danny? You say about what happened to you, man? And he's like, no, those trucks got hurt. I just want to hug those trucks and make them feel better and kiss their boo boo. Yeah, the long periods of silence are not because you guys are fucking yapping and yapping and yapping.

Anyway, that's his name. That describes 10 years of my life. Thank you. No, I thought... I thought it was fun. There's a lot of stuff that was stupid in this movie. There were stuff that I didn't like, such as when the heroes are running over innocent people's property and we're supposed to

still like them. Even though they're- They're constantly destroying people's lives. The real monsters are the people destroying private property. Yeah, but I thought it fun. I thought it was like- Luckily the EPA shuts down that big business at the end so we can be like- Oh, government finally builds their job for a change I forgot they plant some endangered horned toad lizards In the near the lake and call the EPA. It's the EPA shuts down the area as a as a habitat and then arrests roblo

I'm excited. He is. And he doesn't look at us basically. He's like, oh, oh. I've reached climax. I thought we said we were going to talk about Dan reaching climax and sending more. Sorry, I'm bi-pologized. Dan, you liked this movie. Yeah, I felt like it was doing in sort of an homage to 1980s creature, kitty films.

And on that level, I sort of enjoyed it. It was not like an A-level version of that movie, but I found like it was a B-minus-level version of that. I definitely say having recently watched Max Steel, the creature that our hero runs into is so much more charming. Oh, this is a much better movie than Max Steer. Yeah, for sure. I think I thought the creatures were all,

the creature design was all pretty fun. Like I would have liked a little more variety. It made me wish for something like the Masters of the Universe movie where like super weird shit happens for no reason. Yeah. But you know, it can't all be Masters of the Universe movie.

But yeah, that's the lesson you have to learn in life. Can't all be Masters of the University of the Movie. From all of the time I understood. When it to every movie, assuming it would be Masters of the Universe of the Movie. If only, if only a million dollar baby, I guess it's about a Master's of the Universe character. In some ways, I kind of wish that when I walked out of that theater in Fort Wayne, Indiana,

I mean, just seeing master's the universe, my fucking people super dilated and me walking on clouds. If some stranger possibly me from the future was standing there to whisper in my ear, they're not all going to be like masters of the universe, the movie. If only so they would have allowed me to amend my expectations. I have to assume kid you would have angrily pushed that warning into the person with the warning into the bushes and said you're wrong, you're wrong. Yeah and if it was if you pushed me from the future we would have meld into one being dissolved like a time top cop style. Ron Silver. All right. Did you give a

judgment though? I thought they said it wasn't as good as Maxx to the universe the movie. I'm the scale of master universe to max steel. It's in the middle. Yeah, yeah, it's easily it's it's closer to uh it's in the middle. I'll say this about this movie. You know it's it's not that bad. It's not a movie that you're going to watch and like telebudgetum jokes during. It's in some ways more confidently made than I expected, but it's also not as like super wacky and crazy. No, for a movie, it's like for a movie that was made by real professionals. There's a lot of people in the movie who made lots of other movies. It feels very amateurish and low budget, which is weird considering it apparently had a very high budget.

But I will say this, if you are an adult, don't bother to watch this movie. It will neither be bad enough for you to enjoy it, or good enough that you all have fun with it. But if you have kids and it's raining out and you need them to be quiet so that you can do some work at home. Maybe you're doing your taxes, I don't know. Maybe one of your kids is damn. Yeah. Yeah. You're a damn McHoy.

No, you're damn McHoy. It was like, it's all child's brains. It's all that heart, brain and every other part. Then and monster trucks is available on Netflix. Go ahead and let him watch it. You know what? It's going to be fine. Yeah, it's not the best kid who finds a monster movie, but it's not the worst. If my son says, Hey, Dad, can I watch Max deal? I would slap the TV remote out of his hands.

And I would say, go to your room. You are grounded for even thinking about that. But if he was like, You would get on his hoverboard, if I don't want to do his room. I'm right back to his space room on the moon. But if he's like, Are you gonna afford a room on the moon?

Oh, it's very expensive, but it's worth it. They have the best schools there. Yeah. But if he said, hey, Dad, can I watch monster trucks and be like, Hey, you know what? Knock yourself out.

I'm gonna go over here and fold some laundry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor.

Judge John Hodgman ruled in my friend's favor. Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor. I'm Judge John Hodgman. You're hearing the voices of real litigants, real people who have submitted disputes to my internet court at the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I hear their cases, I ask them questions, they're good ones. And then I tell them who's right and who's wrong.

Thanks to Judge John Hodgman's ruling, my dad has been forced to retire one of the worst dad jokes of all time. Instead of cutting his own hair with a flow bee, my husband has his hair cut professionally. I have to join a community theater group. And my wife has stopped bringing home wild animals. It's the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Find it every Wednesday at MaximumFund.org or wherever you download podcasts.

Thanks Judge John Hodgman. podcasts. Thanks, Judge John Hodgman. Hey guys. What? What? Sorry, what are you I'm? Hey, did something else break? This podcast has a sponsor or two. It's good because we have some problems. This podcast is sponsored and part by Zippercruder. Zippercruder, are you hiring? Yes. Do you know where to post your job and find the best candidates? I don't. Posting your job in just one place isn't enough to find quality candidates.

It's insane. Oh, it's not. Yeah, that's what I thought too. Look, guys, if you want a good hire, you need to post your job on all of the top job sites. You got to cast the widest net to catch the biggest fish. Yeah. And with zippercouter.com, you can post your job to 100 plus job sites, including social media networks like Facebook and Twitter, all with a single click. Wait a minute. That's a site to click ratio of like a hundred to one.

Yeah, exactly. That's the most you can ratio of like a hundred to one Exactly, that's the most you can get out of one click without exploding your mouse Yeah, except for some of those sites where I click on the thing and then like a whole bunch of pop up show up And I'm like, I don't want this Fairpoint Dan continue you can five candidates in any city or industry nationwide. Any city. Any city. What about St. Peter's Brook Florida? Uh, maybe somebody to work at the Van Gogh Museum, which is a premier attraction at St. Peter's Brook Florida. And the St. Peter's Brook. Another self-ordering museum is there. That's what I meant. I think the Van Gogh Museum is in Amsterdam. Oh, you're totally right. And that's been the bus. It's been places steward has been.

Bronti by a zip recruiter, Dan. Just post once. I'm watching a qualified candidates roll in to zip recruiters easy to use interface. And right now, our listeners can post jobs on zip recruiter for free. Whoa. By going to zipracooter.com slash first,

that zipracooter.com slash first. So if they go to zippercuder.com slash first, that's zippercuder.com slash first. So if they go to zippercuder.com slash first, they can post a job listing at no cost. Zippercuder is getting nothing from it. Yeah, that's right. Zippercuder is a lot of people to take advantage of them. Mm-hmm. For free. Yep.

At 100 sites at one click to post your job postings and hire the best people. Now, I'm really hoping Zipper Cruder is hearing us say this because it sounds like we're taking advantage of them. Sounds like they're big chops. I mean, at this point, I hate to say about this. This is what, guys will take advantage of this before Zipper Cruder realizes what they're doing. This is what Zipper Cruder doesn't want you to hear. Yeah, this is the message Zipper Guru is afraid you're gonna find out about.

This is like, look, if you're hiring someone, this is the equivalent of you walked into McDonald's. You ordered one quarter pound of cheese. Okay. It sounds like you've been doing McDonald's for Zipper Guru. And they gave you two. They only charged you for one. Uh-huh. Now, are you going to have a question? Are you going to hand back this burger? Well, you're just going to get

out of there as quick as you can, for the real estate mistake and eat two burgers worth of sawdusty meat. Mm-hmm. Are you going to pay them the borrow for a burger you eat today? No, because that would make you wimpy. A fictional character. So ziproputor.com slash first. Yeah. One more time. You try it before you go to ziproputor.com slash first. Our podcast is also sponsored in part by the black tux. What? Looking great for a wedding or special event has never been easier than with the black tux.com. Explain, I find looking great for a wedding to be a huge imposition and hard to do. One, I've got to already own a suit or buy a new suit.

I've got to own a tucks for buy a tucks or rent one. And I have to go somewhere to get it. I've got to try it on and it costs a lot of money. And the thing that Ellie gets mad about is he goes to build a bear workshop and they're all out of tucks. Is the only size that fits me. And can accommodate LA's level of body fur. And now look, I leave.

Yes, true. Okay. I have what is referred to in the business as a Brian blesses level of body fur. Now, I'm in a New York apartment. I don't know why the closet's big. Now I got suits and tuxes clogging up my closet. Dan, is there any way this could be made easier for? Well, look, hey, hey.

I'll be yelling at me. What's all that? I know I was yelling at you when I published. Why would I make my contact with Ellie? With high quality rental suits and tuxedos delivered to your door, the black tux gives you a new way to rent. The black tux offers free home trion, so you can see the fit and feel the quality of your suit months before your event. The best part is completely done online. To get free shipping both ways, plus $20 off your purchase, visit the black tux.com slash flop

The black tux.com slash flop and you can get that deal both ways, right? Yeah, no Pramer without yeah, can you get a little style? Yeah, can I get it? Can I get it with whizz? Grounds with whizz or provolone Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris.

Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris.

Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris.

Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris for Roland and Christopher. Hey dude. So how's written? I figured you knew this was coming, but I thought you'd appreciate it coming from either a sad defeated, pedantic and high pitched or super cool and sexy voice of an original peach Would you guys be

Groove'sman at my wedding? Ra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a And there's also another jumbo-tron message. This message is for the future child due to arrive as long as nothing goes wrong within the next few months. Unlike what's going wrong with our computer in sounds. Yes, hopefully the child will not come out making me poop noises. Oh man. Who is this message from? Dave, last name withheld. Fully. And the message is Deadman Shoes. Now that's a film. Watch that, Peaches. My unborn Mishka will value your opinion

when she's old enough to value your opinion. Anyway, there's this cupsova woman who's going to plop out a parasite I've given life to. So good luck to her, I guess. Purt. PRRT, I know how to pronounce that. So an enigmatic. Is that an acronym?

Yeah, it probably means please read really tired Now Dan I have a jumbo trun. I have a whole jumbo drum message. Hold on before we get to that we all have messages Yeah, I'm not sure if that I do there's one thing that I I should plug. And that's our live show. Okay. And that could have come after our Java. All right. Why not?

No, no, no, no, no. Do let's plug the live show. So we don't, you already pushed the brakes. Let's hear the story. Yeah. You pumped on now. Let's dump them. We have a live show at the Brooklyn Bell house on June the

night. That's, that's six nine. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, 69. 1780. Oh, watching LA piece. Together like a group you will forever. Let me take the rest of this one. Okay. Hey, everybody. The flop house is doing another one of its rare live shows at the Bell House in Brooklyn. In Gohmanus. You know the Bell House if you've been there. It's a great venue. It fits the flop house like I'd love. We'll be doing the live recording of a flop house episode. That's right. This is not a movie riffing show.

We will be recording a real episode of the flop house. You can hear your totally crazed beer soaked laughter on tape at a future date. I like that idea that laughter can be soaked by beer. We can. Yeah. That's once again 10 years of my life. And you can also come see us within a few miles of our living domesiles. This is a rare live flop house show, 9th, 2017 at 7.30pm.

I believe that's correct. This is a Friday night on the Bell House. It's a Friday night 7.30pm. I'll put a link to it on the Bell House. I'll put a link to it on the website. Thank you. Tickets are going fast. By the time we're getting around two announcing this on the show, the show is.

There's about a hundred tickets left just based on people who've already bought them off of Facebook, off of Twitter. So, buy these quickly. These tickets are going fast. If you get a golden ticket, someone has sold you a fake ticket. They're not a golden ticket. They're not a gold ticket.

They're not a gold ticket. They're not a gold ticket. They're not a gold ticket. They're not a gold ticket. They're not a gold ticket. They're not a gold ticket. They're not a gold ticket. They're not a gold ticket. They're not a gold ticket. And anything you should buy tickets so I I can say hi to you and you come here me tell stupid jokes You'll hear us tell stupid jokes. We'll do some presentations. Maybe they'll be a question and answer Yeah, we have time to do presentations again Dan, right? That's correct. Oh, man. I'm gonna make such a cool powerfully We're gonna do all sorts of fun and have all sorts of things. So come on down to the bell house guys

I have some news. I want to share Really brought the room down yeah so this is gonna this is gonna confidate things but somebody one of the original peaches is moving and it's me Stewart from the Vlapaus. Yeah, I'm moving about four blocks away from my new bar, the apartment has a terrace. Yeah, it's gonna be great, I can't wait. It is gonna mean the next month or so it's gonna be pretty complicated, but you know, I'll figure it out, because I'm pretty cool.

All right, sounds good. That's great. I've got another message. That's the only message that we need to talk about. I have one more message. Single message. I have a, there's another message. That's the only message that we need to talk about. I have one more message. Single message. I have a, there's another message. What are you talking about, Elliot?

So this is a jumbo trial message and this message is for Dan and Stewart and all-clop house listeners. Okay. And this message is from Elliot, last man with health, Kalen. Okay. And it's interesting Stewart that you mentioned a move of some kind. You know, that's where it was, that's interesting.

It seems that my life is taking an interesting turn. A turn, shall we say, to the west. That's right. It behooves me to mention here. And I mentioned it more to then get into a reassurance, than to get into an unassurance. That my life is moving in a direction that is when I thought it would go in for a while to California.

And so later this year, sometime this summer, my family and I will be leaving in Virens of Brooklyn, which we have known for many years as our home, where my son was born and raised technically as born in Manhattan. And I will be moving to Los Angeles, California, where there are a lot more career opportunities that are not in the middle of the night topical world. That's the city of angels. You're not dead. So checkmate. My doctor says difference.

No, he said he would be dead. That's really great. I've been I've been waiting to find out when we would be able to stop doing this show. No no no Stuart for then let me reassure listeners. I am moving to Los Angeles. I'm going to be living there for the foreseeable future possibly forever. But that does not mean the flop house is going because as many people know we were cursed by an old woman that we met on a dark moon. Oh man. Oh man. Right, it was more like some sort of crone. And we were cursed to have to come together by monthly or twice a month to watch bad movies. And so that curse will continue. I will alas, not be at Dan's apartment recording these episodes in the future.

Oh wow, you seem really broken up about that part. Yeah, I wanted to deal with a cat that jumps on my lap and claws on my penis when I'm trying to talk. Okay, can that happen once? It happened multiple times. And is it right, penis? Yes. But it will be, you know, we'll have some bugs to work out with the podcast. And it may be a little...

Yeah, we apparently have bugs to work out even we're all the same point. It may be a little bumpy at times, but I want all the listeners to know and to be assured that this move is very much not me leaving the flop house and not the flop house ending. I cannot stay away from Dan Stewart for too long where I love them dearly and they mean very much to me. Through the course of doing this show with them, they have gone from being friends of mine to being my closest friend. I need to get a beer. Yeah.

I'm sorry, Stewart, that you're afraid of true emotion. And so I'm not gonna give up with that. So we're gonna have to figure it out. Dan, we have some technical stuff that we're gonna have to deal with. Got a lot of technical stuff we're gonna have to deal with, but that's not for talking about on the air. But what that also means is that this live show in New York, and I hopefully will have some

of the live shows at some point, but the live show in New York will be one of the last live shows in New York. In New York. And that if we're doing a live show in the future, know that it will be a super special event because Dan and Stuart and I will not be around each other as much as we used to be. Yeah, so.

I mean, we'll just do a bunch of live shows in Vegas because it's cheap for us all to fly there. When we do live shows in the future, it will be a special occasion and we will all be giddy to be around each other once again. They'll all be reunion shows, but rest assured floppers, I cannot assure you enough unless I die on the lead of Los Angeles. This show will continue with me as a part of it. I wouldn't dream of allowing Dan and Stewart to go on without me. But it was me who was that old crone on the moonless night.

Who cursed us? Because I just didn't want to be away from you guys for too long. All right. Well, that was creepy and sweet, I guess. Just like that new candy I have coming up, sugar skulls. I mean, it did sell pretty well. Oh, yeah. Would you have like a Maryland Monroe, Old Europe,

or pistols on the packaging? I hate those. Yeah. So a lot of changes around flop house way. Down flop house drive. Oh, and my voice changed. That was the other change. Yeah.

I thought it happened, guys. I finally went through the change. I don't know what I noticed. But really, I'm sounding much more grown up and masculine now. Is your dad wear all of Ganesha up and explain all about it? So we should move on though. To what? What do we do on this podcast? Letters from listeners. Before we get into the letters proper, I just want to say a few thanks for some gifts that we've received.

Thanks to Sarah for the humor magazine that she's the editor of. Thanks for sending a copy of that. What's the name of that humor magazine? Keep vamping. Okay, so Ellie, you're moving to La La Land. That's what I'm doing. Is it because you love jazz so much?

I noticed that this new jazz club opened up. And what I like about it is the guy who runs it hates new music. And he only wants to play the same piano and slap bass. Somebody likes playing soft saxophone over love scenes. And what I realized is I need to go to like a pretentious stuffy place that's afraid of change. And so I just want to go to this place. Okay.

Savage Henry. Savage Henry is the name of the humor magazine. Oh, perfect. Thanks for the cow and this, Abby. Thanks to Daniel and Marie for the DVD copy of Black Superman. Thanks to David for the DVD of Sex Mission. Oh, weird, we haven't seen that DVD. Thanks to D-Grey. The packaging seems clawed open by some kind of beast. Let me just check Dan's DVD player. Oh, there it is.

Oh, let's somehow already melt it down by overuse of the laser in the DVD player. Oh, there it is. Oh, let's somehow already an A sample somehow already melted down by overuse of the laser and the DVD player. And lastly, thanks to D-Grey for the copy of the man from Hong Kong and also the Ziggy Cake pan. He has a cake pan in the shape of Ziggy from the comics page. That's a perfect housewarming gift for aliens new LA apartment. I think it's more of going away gift for me to give to you guys. Okay. Dan, are you going to make me a Ziggy cake before I leave? You're going to make some boybeat and that's a good idea. It's a reference to the audience. Well, not yet.

So one of the first parties in New York I remember going to Dan made this fucking cobbler called boy bait and oh lordy did we left Did it draw the boys I mean Simon to eat all of the bait? It did and then we were killed Adam Sandler can have your bodies like in the coplar. Oh, that's great. I was heavily punished for telling them what the thing was called. You should have lied.

You should have just said, oh, it's not like cool guy more power. So letters, anyway, we're going to get right into this from Rebus. Rebus is God, letter for us. Rebus, see us, tell us. I know I was a little off. I'm gonna say you read it anymore, huh? Yeah. Just give any you a taste of what you're gonna miss.

And by miss, I mean, not miss. Thanks, do we? This is from Rebus last name with held. Daredevil Rebus Canivas. Right. Hey guys, I recently rewatched their demon Rebus Canivas. I'm so thankful to the five-sided fans. Yeah. I recently rewatched screen, which I think holds up well. I was thinking back to the first time we watched a painting.

That's right. Edward Munchis screen. Rebus is actually Skid All Rich. Do you guys remember when there was that art theme surreal lunches? Edward Munches? Okay. And also that that harm really Edward Munchies? I like that you're crediting Munchies as a horror movie. I guess it's a horror movie. That's what I call an alien monster. That's what I get when I'm stoned by the very Munchies. Anyway, Scream, which I think holds up well. I was thinking back to the first time I saw it while I was in college.

My school had a special screening and a big chemistry lecture hall and my memories correct. It had not been released yet in theaters. But thanks to the trailers anticipation was high. The point of the story is that the crowd was super pumped to see the movie and there was a real buzz in the auditorium. As a result there were lots of screams and lots of laughs and it was one of if not the best theater experience of my life. As a result I think the wonderful environment took a good movie and made it an amazing one.

So my question for you is how important do you think viewing environment is and have you ever had a similar experience where the crowd made a bad movie good or a good movie great? Thanks for your wonderful podcast, Rebus. Okay, Dan's looking at me to answer these questions and I'll answer them. I've been a big fan of, you know, we have friends who work at the Elbow Trafftouse here in New York and up in Yonkers. And those have been such great movie experiences for me, especially because I only get to the theater once in a while, so I don't mind going and, you know, drinking all bunch of beer and getting wasted. But, and that's always great time. We were able to get through fences. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, that was the only way I could pick up on that snappy dialogue. The, although it would be fitting, right, during a bunch of gym, but what I was going to say is, a week or two ago, I'm going to talk about an example of a bad theater going experience where I went to, this was like a couple days after I went to a late night's green of a horror movie and there was a steam pipe that was whistling through a chunk of the movie and that sucked. But I went to a, my wife is getting a photo shoot done in Philly, and it was a closed set. So I'm like, I have like four hours to fucking set. There's a closed set. It was this like pin up girl photo shoot that I got her as a birthday gift.

Or I Christmas gift. And they're like, no, no, sir. You can't save this moment. No life. Yeah, and my tongue was rolling around on the ground. And my eyes were popping out. Well, because I demon it, take it over you. Yeah, I was tongue was rolling around in the ground and my eyes were popping out. Well, because I demoned it, taking a real- Yeah, exactly. I was large margin it. Large margin it. Yeah, that's all you do. I wish that was like some kind of race.

I wish that people could do that. No, I wish there was a phrase for like some aspect of like the hip hop lifestyle. We like just margin it. So, I wasn't allowed into what? It was specifically the rule was no men, no white cosmoner. No boys allowed. Yeah, no boys allowed.

And the photo shoot went great. So that's June Leano photography. It's awesome. But I had like four hours to kill, so I decided to go catch a, I decided to go catch a screening of Logan at 10 a.m. So I go to the theater and I can't wait like I had to wait around for a little bit before it even open because there's a fucking 10 a.m. Screening I get in there. I'm the only person for a while when the when the trailers start. I'm people start to filter in a young lady and her friends were sitting behind me and she made a point of telling her friends loudly

What video game each trailer was based on and got most of them wrong It's clearly war for plan of the apes not gears of war because there's a shitload of monkeys in the trailer or apes and the The movie starts up, the first scene in Logan is fucking awesome. Wolverine is saying, mother fucker, a bunch, spoiler alert, and they like, chop dudes, faces off. It is the hard, hard R rated superhero movie that a teenage steward and a grown-up steward would have loved.

And then right after that opening scene, a mom walks in with like a dozen little kids who are being super noisy and we're watching this hard r-rated movie that's crazy I know that like give it a couple more scenes I'm assuming this movie isn't going to become like a PG movie right after that so I figured those kids will leave but I didn't want to like ruin this movie going experience so I literally stood up in front of everybody, it said, fuck this.

And like made a show of grabbing my backpack while people laughed at me. And I stormed out to be like, I'm gonna tell the manager. And I get into the lobby, and it's a fucking sea of children. Now I realize that it's spring break. And like whatever moms or dads didn't have to work

We're just taking whatever kids were in their neighborhood to the fucking movies. Not even their kids Not even their kids kids. They saw this right just high pipe rent So I left and just I read a book in a coffee shop like a cool guy I think I may have so we're talking about good theater experiences to remind listeners and stories about them. I can talk about whatever I want. This is my podcast. I'm just resetting.

I also said that the Alamo Drive-Thous rules. Yeah, I'm really digital. And really digital. I think I've told this story before, but I'm just gonna lose. I don't care. Because in Stuart word, it's my fucking podcast. So I went to see bad boys too, a terrible movie at well, I went to see it at a downtown Brooklyn theater. And I had a great time because the audience was super engaged like super like whoopin

Yeah, that's a high-end theater. Yeah, people were going nuts people were responding everything on screen And there's a scene where was there anybody smoking in the theater? Because that's a thing. I don't remember that but there's a scene where Martin Lawrence is like crawling in a crawl space on our abilities. And he sees two rats fucking each other. And like this, they're like doing lights right? They're actually trained. I don't think so.

I mean, would you have to train them or would you just like trick them? It's a trick. No, no, these cameras are turned off. That red light means the camera is off. Yeah, you can just stop there. You can just leave the room and you just go and do it. Anyway, there's two reds are fucking. And Martin Lawrence is talking over like a walkie-talkie to Will Smith and it goes,

you guys think they have sex just like us. And the guy next to me like elbows me in the ribs. And he's like, next to me, like elbows me in the ribs. And he's like, eh, eh, eh, eh, I'm like, right. I'm like, great. Yeah, pretty good. Pretty good. I wish I got him no idea that he was

in the nudging, the person who had most enjoyed that. I wish that he was like, yeah. I wrote that. Yeah. The person nudging you was Martin Lawrence. He nudged you in the ribs and then he's like, I have sex that way. Do you?

I'm just like, yeah, yeah, red fucking. It's pretty good, huh? You pulled out your phone. It was just a bunch of pictures of red spunking. That's good. And there was a red in the like a, there was like a, like a dowager red, a very proper sex. I don't need to watch this filth and got up and screened out of the theater

Yeah, I probably mentioned by saw like a late-night screening of the English language girl the dragon tattoo At that theater and a homeless guy walked in or not home It could have just been a drunk guy because he smelled like booze and he like was like wandering around and he smoked a cigarette And it added both added a smell factor of that movie needed and it also added like a, what the fuck is this guy good too? Suddenly real life is a lot more it's exciting in the movie. Yeah. I'll briefly state, I don't remember the story I told him podcast for a night,

when the Brady Bunch movie came out, which is about as mediocre a film as there is. Nothing special, not bad, not good, it's just there. I remember seeing the theater because I was like teenager at the time, I'd see anything. And the movie started up and it starts up with the Brady Bunch theme. Maybe there's a teaser and then the Brady Bunch theme. And the entire audience spontaneously started singing along with it. I'm sure we're not the only audience that did that when that movie came out, but there was something about, like, not a song I particularly care about.

Not a movie I really give a shit about, but like the entire audience in the theater coming together in this joyful recognition of a thing that they knew very well was a very beautiful experience in its own way, and that dissipated as soon as the song was over. But it was very exciting that everyone suddenly had locked onto the same beam. You know. That's cool.

It was nice. This is the next letter from Mason Lasting with Hell. Gamble, star of Dennis the Menace the Movie. Uh-huh. Who writes. Is there a line or moment from a movie you otherwise enjoyed that just grimes your gears for some reason? The scene that is stuck with me is this moment in Hellboy where Trevor Bruttenholm, the professor, pronounced broom. Yeah. Oh, okay, sorry. Is given a tour. You should be

he's a decorated supernatural expert. Trevor Brum, the professor, is giving a tour to John Thaddeus Myers, the new normal guy, and points out that there's an artifact in a display case. Brum mentions what it is, then says, when Hitler got in his possession, his power increased threefold. What the fuck does that mean? Did three times as many young Germans pop out of the ground or join the military? Did Germans become three times more anti-Semitic? Did the sperm crowd count increased threefold? The sperm crowd, those are the comments. Two vinegared. Don't order the sperm crowd.

Years have gone by and this moment still bugs me. If Hitler was presented as some kind of evil mage, then fine, his power increased pre-fold. But just saying, guys, power increased pre-fold, it's meaningless. It's really a little Vegeta and making me understand that object's power. Then I'm Dragon Ball Z. Well, I think he could bench three times as much, I think it's before. Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks for any thoughts and goose, Mason, last thing with hell. Actually, I don't feel the same way about this. I mean, I'm like, I'm sure there are movies that have moments where I'm like, oh, but in the first Captain America movie, there's the part where Red Skull is talking to these, to the Nazi officer. And he's doing it in that great accent. That's what I loved about, you know,

Weaving's performances, that he not just did a German accent, but he's like, I'm gonna do a very specific regional accent. Yeah, but he's, there's a point where he's, he's got like a laser weapon and he's showing the targets and they're like, wait a minute. Berlin is on this map. You would attack us too, and I think the point of that scene is supposed to be red skull

is so evil. He's gonna turn on his masters. He's only in it for himself. But me as a viewer, I'm like, okay, so Red Skull's not that big a Nazi. He's therefore not as much available. Like, okay, now I like Red Skull the more. He's just in it for himself. He's not a venonous anti-semite.

Okay, like that's cool, like this. Yeah, he's got, uh, he's got reason, like I can follow his reasoning. Yeah, look, I like him more. I prefer him to hit learn at this point. So I think I just didn't get the response out of me. I think I'm moving. You left a theater with a red skull pin on your jacket. Yeah, I guess I'm joining Hydra now. Yeah, why not? Sure. Uh, yeah,...so a movie that I love is the Lord of the Rings, the Two Towers, but in the extended version, which I also love, there's a sequence where they do like a little conclusion for the contest of killing Rurakai between Legolas and Gimli. Of course, yes.

And there's a moment when Gimli is sitting on a dead Rurukai with his axe stuck in its head, clearly a dead Rurukai, and Legolas shoots it with an arrow and he's like a twitched, and Gimli says something like, it twitched because my ax is buried and it's cerebral cortex. And I don't know if that's the specific term, but it felt like too medical a term for me to be like, they wouldn't use this term in the Lord of the Rings. Well, there's someone who tweeted something about, there's a, in one of the movies,

one of the, they're like about to attack and one of the bad guy works says like, looks like meats on the menu. Yeah, that's an awesome one. And someone pointed out like, how does this work? No, what a menu is. Like, when did he come into contact with a menu?

Yeah. There were a lot of restaurants. That's a great one. No, that's awesome. Good job. Nate, as of now, on credited Twitter, I'm just gonna aggregate this and say, don't remember who did it.

The only example I have is pretty bad. I mean, I don't mind that though, because it's why it makes me laugh. But for some reason, the serial cortex line, I'm like, come on, dude, you can just just add Barry to his head. Yeah, let's just move on. So this next one is from Julie last name with held.

Paymore who writes. What did you guys think about Titus? Be honest, I like a lot of it Julie Tamor, but wait, the Christopher Titus TV show. Yeah. I love it. It's so funny. Thanks to a close friend of mine,

hesitantly or recommending this film to me, I recently found myself in a small independent theater watching a film called RAW. A French film about a young and nervous teenage girl who want to see her in sexy and vicious cannibal. Then movie had a lot to say. Spoilers? Movie had a lot to say about college hazing culture and teenage rebellion, and I can honestly say it was one of the best films I'd seen in a very long time. It was very gory, but not needlessly so, and the build up to the final scenes was well

paced and suspenseful. I like this movie quite a bit, but the gore in the general premise has turned off all but one person I tried to explain it to, and that one person was my dad who may have just been trying to be nice. I know you gentlemen suggest films every episode and spit them into the podcast universe, but what films have you had trouble endorsing outside of the flop house? Are there any films that you think, I really want people to see this movie, but also make you worry about certain plot lines or scenes that might not fly as well with most people. How can I recommend a film like this to a friend without fear that they would ghost on me after they watch it

and fear that I might be a teenage Campbell as well? Stay funky fresh, Julie last name withheld. Thank you, I will stay funky fresh. I remember when Blade 2 came out. I went to the theater a couple times, because I was in college and I had plenty of time to go to movies multiple times in the theater and I remember recommending it to people and people coming back and I'm like, wasn't it fucking great? And they had a look on their face like I didn't like it at all. And they both made me consider who I was recommending these movies to and also that they were looking for something that is different than what that movie

was going to deliver. Which is a great crazy monster of a John F.A.S. vampires. Yeah. There's a lot of movies that where I feel like I'd like it a lot but I'm recommending it will say something about who I am as a person to the person I'm going to do it, because there's something either extreme or strange in it that I'm not that like they're just not gonna understand the same way I understood it. Like a movie like possession is something I would recommend wholeheartedly, but if someone in my family watched it, they would be like, are you okay? Like, is this, are you all right? You know, because I'm worried about you after watching the movie you recommended. Like, I feel like the out there stuff isn't as hard for me to recommend.

I mean, we recommend movies a lot here. And I recommend a lot of crazy dumb movies, but I still like them. And I think it's the more like weirdly normal stuff. Like, something like Manchester by the C.A. movie that I liked a lot. And I understand why people don't like it. But I'm a little bit worried that me recommending it will make me seem like I don't understand them.

When there's like very real reasons, like it's not like, oh I didn't like that because it's like a ton of gourd and weird shit. But more, I didn't like it because there's... It's a problematic situation. Yeah. And that it makes me come off as a, like in sense of that sort of thing. When I'm not, I just happen to like it. I mean, as someone who watches a lot of old movies, and I've touched on this before, time for this, like there are so many movies that are wonderful, but then there's something in it like there's either a non-light character or a way that women are treated in a scene or something that is not okay and it's like I don't know if I can recommend this movie because

there's this made character that's totally insulting but everything besides that is really good and even like my favorite movie taking Pellum 1-2-3 there's the scenes with Walter Matau and the Japanese Subway Guns, which are, I don't like it all, and even when Walter Mathau gets his like, come up in, it still doesn't erase that he's been saying these terrible things. I can be surprised sometimes too when like, about things that don't play well anymore. Sometimes I'm just like, I don't think about it. And then I was watching a Marks Brothers movie with a woman fairly recently.

And there's scenes where Harpo is running around chasing a woman. And it's just like, oh yeah, that doesn't play very well. Like it doesn't help to be like, but you see, Harpo is a sexless and he's a sprite. He doesn't know what to do with the women when he's caught him. Yeah, it just plays like, okay, this guy is like assaulting this woman. The in some ways, I mean, maybe I'm just patting myself on the back here,

but sometimes those kind of situations coming up, I appreciate having an opportunity to think about why it bothers me or why it doesn't work and whether or not. And then actually having to, I'm spending some time in judging whether or not I think it's the value of the work of art is it like it still makes it worthwhile despite what the the problematic elements do you know I mean Yeah, no, no, that's interesting. Yeah And then having to say it out loud on the internet in front of people and be like judge me please Well, it's like you're like I recognize why this is problematic But upon looking at it,

I discard it because it doesn't bother me as a privileged white male. Yeah, I know what's best. I looked at it for a 360 degree angle, it still doesn't bone me that much. That's what I'm saying. Thank you. Once again, Elliot summarizes my joke perfectly. Once again, Elliot summarizes my joke perfectly. Last quick letter. Dear Stuart and Elliot. Why are you so mean to Dan? Dear Dan. Have you heard this guy?

Dear Dan, why are Stuart and Elliot so mean to you? Signed Dan McCord with help. Oh, I love this. Let's get into it. Let's get real. We're like an hour and a hundred minutes into this morning, guys. Let's start talking about the issues. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're on the record here. Elliot says a little ghost comes to check some more. Look, Dan Ackwright took me off to this ghost blow job service. It's incredible.

It's amazing. And the best part is the button your pants for you. That's crazy. Why doesn't it even do that? Yeah, I don't know. It's to it inside the pants. Well, service. Hey, Dan.

You can just throw anything in the wash. Hey, I'm sorry if we're too mean inside the pants. Well, service. Hey, Dan. And just throw a thing in the wash. Hey, I'm sorry if we're too mean to you sometimes. Thanks, buddy. It's all right. I'll miss you. I like to think we're being mean to the Dan character. Even when we text mean things to you. Well, we're hoping that's going to get screenshot it.

Yeah. Screenshot. Yeah, screenshot. We should definitely move on because god damn this has been long. It's been long. We thought we're barely talking. Don't worry, you'll have fun editing it. So what do we do next?

Last. Last commendations. And let's do it super fast. We do recommendations of movie that we actually like. Let's do super fast. I'm going to fucking jump right in here. This should be no joke at all to you, Fuleos. I'm gonna recommend a horror movie that's in theaters and on demand right now.

You should go watch The Void. This is by the guys who made a movie I talked about earlier on an earlier episode called Manborg. I believe it's directed. It's from these guys Jeremy Gillespie and Johnny Gillespie. No, I'm going to remember how to say their names exactly right now. They're going to say it right here. It's X-X-X-L. right here is X-X-L Okay, so it's Jeremy Gillespie and Stephen Kutansky and I'm not just gonna recommend not just gonna recommend their movie because

They support the Plum House because they come to one of our live shows But these guys they put together a really great little B horror movie with amazing practical effects. It looks great. The sound and music is great. And it kind of plays like if somebody was screening the Prince of Darkness and then swapped out the last reel for Hellraiser 2. It's an Uigui horror movie.

Fresh and Chewy. Uigui Fresh and Chewy. Check it out. It's great. The Void. Boom. I'm going to recommend... I feel like I have a surprising recommendation. I taped off of HBO and enjoyed much more than I expected. The Perge election year. Which... Yes, we're not watching it for the flop house. No, no, no, no, we watched the purge, the original purge movie for the flop

house and it was kind of just a boring home invasion movie. They have this high concept, the purge, you know, like 12 hours every year. Is there any heating in this one? No, no. 12 hours. 12 hours. 12 hours every year, we're a prime as legal. We all know what the purge is at this point. But the first honks you get over it. The first movie did. That's American now. They won, and we have to deal with it.

The first movie did barely anything with this premise. But there's a home invasion movie, right?, but there's a home invasion movie, right? Yeah, there's a home invasion movie. By the way, I'll pretty low in the totem pole of the home invasion movie. Yeah, definitely. But by the time the third movie rolls around, there's a trade bonkers. Well, there's a senator who wants to get rid of the purge and of course that makes her...

Yeah, that makes her purge target. Numerowuno when the purge comes around and the movie is much less of just like a closed off-form invasion movie and more of a kind of... She's roaming through a city where everyone's against her and it feels like a john carpenter movie specifically it feels like my glee's naked no it feels like it feels like uh something like escape from new york yeah it's it's just like a down and dirty definitely a b-movie but a fun b fun B movie of just this woman like beset on all sides by the strangers.

So, man, I would feel bad for the fucking purgers that they were going after Jacqueline beset. Let's just destroy them. Um, the thing about the purge movies is I feel like that's a premise that was like Taylor made with a bow for John Carpenter to do. Yeah, and the closer the filmmakers get to doing car, I mean in general I feel like the closer a filmmaker gets to making a John Carpenter movie, the better. But I feel like that the purge specifically, like the closer you get to Carpenter, the closer you're going to do,

and it sounds like election years, where they get closest to it. Yeah, I mean I haven't seen the middle purge movie the perjane key, but Does that also star hunka meat Frank grillo? It does Monogrill because the name is grilling it. Yeah, but if you're looking for not a creative man, Ellen If you're really just like a straight ahead B movie that is like kind of a gritty like 80 style low down action movie, the purge election year, it's not super great, but it scratches that issue a little bit. Okay, let's see if Elliot continues our trend of B-movies. I'm gonna recommend Creed, the Rocky sequel of the continuation. There's a lot to it.

And Academy of Horde nominated movie. Yeah, not a B-movie, right? By Ryan Pugler, and starring Michael B. Jordan. I almost called him Michael B. Jones for a second, which is nobody's name. Which is no way history. One of our listeners is now clicking on subscribe because his name is Michael Lee Jones. But his monical fell out of his eyes and I never heard a lot of good things about it,

but I was doubtful because the Rocky series is a good one. Pending out full, my new favorite show. The Rocky series is very hit and missed, to say the least. But I thought it was a really good way. Because Continuations of Old Series can be kind of cheap up strison all the time, but they did a really good job of both continuing the world of the original movies. Well, not relying on them so much that you know the beats that this movie is going to hit because it's a Rocky movie,

but doing it in a way that felt like they are respecting the tradition rather than shamelessly repeating what was done before. I remember going into that movie after the Academy Awards of that movie was nominated for, and the, I was ready to be like, so best you're so low to deserve this nomination, but he's really fucking good.

And that would be really good. Everyone's great in it. But he's, when he's like, when he's to an all-chorps mayor, and that they are tough guy actors who are now old, and when they play to that age, they uncover things in themselves that they didn't necessarily have fully before in which make their performances deeper. And when they try to run away from that age, it hurts them completely.

I mean, Pliny's wouldn't barely mention the age, but like, when Celeste alone was doing like, expendables type stuff, or that last ramble movie, it was like, come on, dude. But when he's playing to the fact that he's an old man who was once this powerhouse, like that's very powerful. Yeah, the thing about Creed is there's a scene,

there's one in one of the boxing scenes, there's a moment where it cuts to a character going, yes, and it fucking works. Like that type of shit normally, that's like Batman and Robin shit. And I'm like, no, but for whatever reason, it totally like got me on the edge of my scene. And those boxing scenes are fantastic. The boxing scenes are great.

Like boxing is, to my mind, it's a uniquely cinematic sport. If you want to call it sports, too, that's whale on each other with the fists. But that's controversial, I know. But there are like the biggest this one i have with movie the fighter is that the boxing climax at the end is super boring because you're just watching a boxing match on tv and this cooler takes you into the ring and you're experiencing the fight and he does a great job. No you're right right. The Bicing Center are really, really, and they're really well shot and they're, yeah, it's awesome. Even watching this movie on an iPad while I was doing the dishes, I felt the full impact of each punch.

So nice work, Keith, and I recommend it to everyone who was interested in it, but was worried that it was not going to live up to the potential. All right, three great recommendations. And now we have to get the fuck out of here. So long, Dan, please tell us you're going to cut this episode down, but not my arosmith stuff, right? Can you put all the beep-boop-boops in there?

Yeah, put those back in there. Just for the real fans. Yeah, so the bleedists. No, it's been great, but now we gotta go for the flop house. I've been Dan McCulley. I've been Stewart Welley, Dan. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- We seem to be... How do I sound? Do I sound good? Fine.

Well, you weren't talking when that was going on. You're only talking during the B-Boo B-Boo B-Boo B-Boo Part of things. I have to that sound, but it sounded like B-Boo B-Boo B-Boo. Yes, we were all that B-Boo B-Boo stuff you were saying. It's this new sound I'm trying out. Yeah. That new sound you're looking for. Yeah, I'm trying it. What was it?

I'm trying to be a new thing on podcasts. I'm trying to reach a new binary market. That's the future, you know? The three of you into a cave of a big red dragon and is standing over a horde of precious golden rubies. And he says, what do you do, adventure? Here's I'm a dragon man. I cast fire on him. It's very good. over a horde of precious golden rubies. And he says, what do you do, adventurers? I'm a dragon man.

I cast fire on him, it's very good. I address the red dragon to say, us, we're the hosts of the Adventure Zone, a podcast about family playing Dungeons and Dragons. Very good synergy, commit to the bit. I roll to charm new listeners. It is very effective against all odds. Everybody wear the macros.

We host the Adventure Zone to podcast where we played Dungeons and Dragons together. It's a comedy podcast. We don't take the rules too seriously because there's a lot of them and we did not take the time to learn them. Maybe listen to us. We come out every other Thursday on the Maximum Fund Network. You can find us on iTunes or on Maximum Fund Outdoor. I think this promo is a critical hit.