The Flop House - Ep. #231 - Mother's Day

Episode Date: May 13, 2017

Just in time for Mother's Day we discuss Mother's Day. Let it never to be said that we don't have our finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist. Meanwhile master of impressions Dan returns, Elliott sells branded Timothy Olyphant pants, Stu explains tattoo reveals, and Paul Sabourin from Paul and Storm guests. Wikipedia synopsis for Mother's Day Movies recommended in this episode: Resolution Colossal Topsy-Turvy Train to Busan Bad Moms LIVE SHOW ALERT! We added another show on June 9 at The Bell House at 10:00 pm! Tickets HERE.

On this episode we watched Mother's Day. I forgot it's Mother's Day weekend. I gotta go get a card! Guys, he really just left. I guess we can quit doing the podcast forever then. Yay! I got a card, guys. I'm back. That was a real commitment to fully worth.

So what you have to do is you have to edit that last part, LA, it did out and put it at the very end of the episode. I'm not McCoy. Hey oh, I'm Stuart Wellington. Hi, Elliott Kaelin over here. And I'm new. Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey, you. I'm Richard New.

Do you have another name we can call you? Are you like a character from a cyberpunk movie? I'm Paul Subor and I'm here to audition for the role of Elliot Kalen. Oh, excellent. Paul, it's great to have you here, a big fan. Guys, a student, can I talk to you in the other room for a walk, a walk closed door? Could you audition people when I'm not here? Nope.

No, we timing to not work out, so I'm sorry. This is a scheduling issue. The thing is, it's much easier to do the body hair comparison when you're here. Knock knock knock. Guys, should I stick around? We'll be out right now. Second. Okay. Don't tell him what we're doing in here. We're just masturbating. I mean, I guess we could use this Teddy Ruckspin to be you for the body hair thing. So I guess you could leave and for the talking thing because he can talk. He's a's a bear the talks We all know to you Ruxman's an amazing bear that can talk put your favorite cassette tape sent him he moves his mouth Look is the body here thing that necessary can listeners hear my body here? There's so much rustling that I added out of every episode

It really really no, who should I hand my head shots to? There's a we have a to the girl the door. Okay. Dan. That's a cat. That's not a girl Who if I've been sleeping with? Let's get out of this room and get back to the podcast. It's very friendly. Okay, step, step door open. Hi guys. Hey, everyone. Hey Paul. Yeah, sorry. We're kind of unprofessional. We don't do a lot of these interviews, but I guess we might as well.

So let's start with a shit sandwich. What's your biggest weakness? I think you were supposed to do a shit sandwich. That's giving five-year plan. Where does he see himself in five years? Yeah, where do you see yourself in five years? Well, my problem is that I give too much. I think I care too much. Sure, that's pretty good. I will probably be caring too much.

Okay. That's a good answer. It's a bad weakness, but it's a good strength. The wrong answer though, because you were supposed to say, my five year plan is to increase grain and steel production beyond that of the Western nations. Okay. That answer then. That's a five year plan joke, guys. Hello. Is this thing on? Anyway, so I was at the grocery store the other day and you'll never believe what I saw in the aisles Oh, he's doing his tight five. He's tight five-year plan Little red book chunk. Yeah, yeah, it's my little red book is more of like a snake. Let's type book Then Mao's the red book. Oh, hey guys. Hey everyone. Paul from Paul and Storm. Hi

Hey, it was having me. What's wrong? Oh, I'm a ball of fun right now. Aren't I glad you have me on this show? Wow. This is an interesting new character you're doing, Paul. Like an e-war type. I guess we need two of those. Wait a minute. Is this an audition to replace me? Me too, anyway. Over the course of the course of the podcast, I will try out each of your persona. Oh, wow. Be fucking careful with mine. It's addictive You'll start being at him outside of the show yet. It'll be very hard to shake off Would you like the film double life? The double life of Veronique nope. That's a different movie. All right the double nope a different movie life

Nope also a different movie double Life. Nope, also a different movie. Double team. Nope, different movie. Double take. Different movie. Take five, the candy bar. That's a candy bar. Double bubble, I was expecting you to say,

also not a movie. Take five, the song by Dave Bruebeck. A song and very different. Take me out to the ball game. Also a song, different song. So Paul, what do we do on this here podcast? On this podcast, we watch a bad movie. And well, you watch a bad movie usually and then you talk about it. You're taking everything from me. I have this one thing. Can I have my one thing? No, but seriously, folks, we're excited that Paul is here.

He heard that we were doing the movie Mother's Day and he said I got to be there for that Hey guys not to peel back the skin too much on this pizza Yeah, we're all like a pizza right when you peel the skin back We're ready. It's more the idea that pizza has a skin this Clive Barker pizza that I guess the skin. I mean aren aren't all pizzas Clyde Barker pizzas when Clyde Barkers keep them? I couldn't imagine a better pizza. Wow, the acting means great. But so far, I'm listening to a whole new book of blood.

It's called Avoid the Noid. The Noid is one of the old beans. And there's anal sex involved somehow. I'm Clive Barker. Such a thin line between pain and pizza. I think I'll take a centabyte out of this slice. It's great for your cinnamon pizza because he said, sin, oh, don't worry. I've got an idea for a new character, pepperoni head. So as I was saying, all right, for our listeners at home, this is one of those thirsty Thursdays. I mean, for us, it's not for you. I'm definitely not listening to this on a Thursday

until it, unless it's a week after we recorded it. Well, I hope you wait. You saved it up for a Thursday. So it's thirsty Thursday, and I hope y you all are thirsty for some mother's milk. Because we watched the movie Mother's Day. I understand the reference. But that's what's so gross about? It's natural. That's what babies drink. Dan, the demo research we got back from Cambridge Analytica, who we talked to about this, was that... A bunch of adult babies listening to this show?

Yes, there is a very, the Venn diagram between Flapphouse listeners and lactation fetishes is almost just a circle. There's very little non-overlamp, and that little bit of non-overlap is my parents and Stuart's parents. Dan, your parents, I guess, fall into that no adult lactation fetishist circle.

No, no. It's just fine. I mean, it's great. It's really healthy. My parents, whatever you want, actually listen to this podcast. So please don't get more. There's a, and my, my do not. Now, I know. We could have safely accused your parents of any fetish on the fetish rainbow. Yep, very much. So I think my dad thinks that I do an oldies call and request show on like a local New Jersey radio station. My father-in-law still thinks it's a TV show. We can watch on YouTube. So we watched the movie Mother's Day, which is- Which is- Which is- As the name probably tells you, either a horror movie or a Gary Marshall holiday, multi-story omnibus mashup, star-sutted, semi-anthological,

anthropological look at how we celebrate holidays as a family in the 20th century. Why would averse? It's from the Marshallverse. No. Yeah, it's not the hearth. It's part of the MCU, the Marshall Cinematic Universe. And then we ain't phase three of that yet. I hope we're in, I mean, really we're in phase end because Gary Marshall has sadly passed.

There are other marshals. But what a legacy has he has left behind. Neil Marshall is going to take over the Marshallverse. He's going to say, I would be very rich. Marshall is starting to master my other. I think Gary Marshall, Penny Marshall and Neil Marshall's movies all exist in one shared universe to like a League of their own pretty woman and what like the same world. I think all three of us listed different

new things and it was so much harder for me to think of another Gary Marshall movie. That wasn't a holiday. But anyway so Mother's Day, should we just start with the old fashioned character rundown? Yeah. As you may know, how much time you got. Yeah. Not enough. Uh, as you may know from previous Gary Marshall episodes,

like, uh, what do you found? It's a Valentine's Day. Did we do any other ones? We've got that. That's it. We didn't do New Year's Eve. We didn't do New Year's Eve. We didn't do.

Though we don't know what kind of magic happens on New Year's Eve. Probably a lot of kissing. Probably a ghost shows up. A hug and a smooch in. Anna squishing. And I think smoochy boochin because I think Jason Mews was in it. Oh no. Or is that smoochy booch? What the hell was his shitty catchphrase? That all my friends were saying when we were 15 years old. Something about nugs like that. It seems like a fellow who has very strong opinions on nugs.

About their relative dankness or dankosity. So let's start with the characters. As you know, he does these rich kind of throw everything into the stew movies, not used to. I mean, like a like a hearty broth beef stew or perhaps like a big. It's kind of a hearty broth beef stew. Yeah, sometimes I'm a beef Wellington. You never know it. You never know. Let's start. Let's run down this run. There's like three major storylines and some minor ones. Number one, Jennifer Aniston or Janiston, which is her couple name because she's alone right now. Janiston is a mom who is divorced from Jimmy

with the oliphate. Actually married right now. Ohiston is a mom who is divorced from Kim with the oliphate. Actually married right now. Oh, who she married to? Justin Thoreau. Oh, Jero. Well, that, yeah, Jero. Yeah, she's out Jero now. Yes.

Who's the name is then Thaniston, which I do not like. She's Thanos. With Thoreaniston. Yeah, Thanos. That's a great one. OK, great. OK, so she's the mad Titan, and she loves death. And so she's going to kill half the universe

to appease her dark mistress. Uh-oh, looks like the combined might of Adam Warlock and Silver Surfer, everyone's favorite cosmic heroes. It's about to stop her. Anyway, Jennifer Aniston is divorced from Timothy Olefant of TV's Justified. Yep, beautiful, beautiful man. He's super handsome.

Oh man, what if it's all drink or something? Oh, I'm gonna guess something delicious, like the purple stuff. Yeah, like a slow gin fizz. That's right. Yeah, like a slow gin fizz. You wish it was slower because you just want to save every sip of olifant. Just drizzle it all over your pizza pie. So,

olifant is wearing his trademark olipants available at retailers nationwide. You've been workshopping that fucking show all night. It's the only pan that has Timothy O'Lephant's guarantee that when you wear it, you'll be wearing a pair of pants he wore and pooped in. They're the all of fans. He pooped in the pants? Or were you wearing the pants or are it his and all? No, no, he just like held him over his butt while he pooped.

Okay, good. He just said poop poop poop. Oh, good. How is that better, Dan? I don't want him to poop in like literally poop in the Pan. Nobody does he holds him open. Oh no. Like you would poop in a can or in jar or like a like a CVS bag. No, because he's on the subway at the time and installed between stations on the track. I gotta talk to Timothy. I think these Timothy Ola pants may be a bad venture on his. I mean, it's a better venture than his last one. Timothy Ola fans, Elephant pants,

which were pants for Elephants with his signature on the side. Which is also his signature, of course, being his poop. Yeah. For the folks at home, speaking as a fan of the show, sitting right here and watching these tangents take place is if anything even more fascinating. Sure. Yeah, a lot of it's Dan checking his phone double checking how to spell all the fan a look of horror on their faces as I talk about Tim on the elephant pooping. Anyway, she's divorced from Tim of the elephant.

They have two kids together and then a house full of their kids friends who get to see Jennifer and walk around in a towel for sure. That had to have been a dress, right? No, one of those towels that has like some, why are you tapping your chest? Are you dying? Because that's where you have to have it. No, it has like a Velcro latch thingy so you can wear it around the house in front of your kids and kids friends. Okay, so she's just trying to instill some kind of deep-seated mom fetishism in these youngsters.

Exactly. Yes. Yes. Because she's worried they won't grow up with the kind of natural mom fetishism all Americans have. Yeah. Okay. Like you, Dan, let's talk about it. Sure. So American Pie, the Dan story. How's that screenplay go? American Pie.

I'm still in the research. I'm still in the research phase. Still trying to fix it. Still trying to lose it. Yeah. What food are you going to fucking this movie? It'd be weird if it was an American Pie movie and there was some other kind of food on the chopping block. It's called American Pie, Cole in UK, UK Tri-Sumester London, and it's a meat pie that he has actually

this time. Some staking kidney pud. Yeah, like a shepherd's pie. Yeah. Said that way grosser than anything else. So Jennifer Aniston, she's an interior designer. Her ex-husband tells her, she thinks her ex-husband wants to get back together. What does that fellow do for a living?

Tim of the Olufant? Something very expensive. Has a lot of money. He's a male prostitute. You know, I guess that makes sense. He's worth it. He charges upwards of a hundred dollars. A real dream of a man. I mean, I guess that sounds maybe he's playing Tim of the olefant and that's just he's living off of just a fight. Oh, okay.

Now the whole movie takes place in Atlanta, Georgia, which we are told no less than a thousand times throughout this length of the movie. Does anyone have a Georgia accent in this? No, they do not. They are all very clearly transplants to Atlanta from outside of the country. Because what this movie is really about

is one, the gentrification and kind of hip, trendy real estate ability of Atlanta, Georgia. Or hot land as it's also sometimes called. Now, continuing. She thinks her ex-puzzle is gonna tell her, hey, I wanna go back together.'s also sometimes called. Uh, now continuing. She thinks her ex-puzzle is going to tell her, Hey, I want to give back together. No, he tells her I got married. Is there any other Atlanta signifiers like you see,

you see like anybody wrapped their lips around a big glass of sweet tea? No. Paperboy wrapping. Yeah. Paperboy from the TV show Atlanta. Exactly. Are there any real housewives wandering about this movie? I mean, maybe.

Yeah, I mean, everyone who appears in the movie seems to be a friend of Gary Marshalls who gets to look at the camera and say a line or like, hurry past the camera giggling at some point. But there's so much of this movie is like an archie comic where in the first panel, there'd always be a close up. Someone would be in the front foreground laughing at the joke that was being said in the background. Just like a pretty girl would be smiling in the foreground, looking back at Archie and Jughead is like, those do jokers and he'd be like, who's this character? Why is she so prominently placed? Like, Dan, to Carlos, explain this. There's

a lot of establishing shots of extras that linger for like a second or two to long. Yeah, an ADR that's thrown in there where you're like, some, one of these girls has a crush on Tim Tibo. Why do I have to know that? That was, yeah, that was a bit of a year. That was, uh, what's his face? The other football player. I don't care.

Tom Brady. Yeah. At one point, some teenage girls were walking my, and you just hear from ADR, Tom Brady's so hot, and that's it. Like, is he in Atlanta player? Like what? I don't even know what team he's on. Like the Denver, because the Denver cheese boys, that because later on when a soccer ball is kicked and it lands on the ground, it looks partially deflated. Maybe because of this whole deflate

gate shenanigans I've heard about and didn't pay attention to that joke lands about as well as 98% of the punchlines in this movie. Sure, thank you. Now, let me, and I'm gonna get back on track with the plot. I want to talk about it real fast. No, I'm not a stupid movie. I'm just saying that the reveal of Tim Lefayette the ol' of having remarried is the most obvious thing. Like, we all saw it coming down the pike

from the moment that he said, I have something to talk to you about. Oh, there was no plot point in this movie that is not predictable. From the moment that Paul, what, 20 minutes into the movie, said, oh, that character is secretly that character's daughter, which did not pay off until an hour later into the film. It was like, I was impressed by that,

but also everything else was super obvious. It was like, hmm. I was shocked as soon as it, like, I was, I thought we were gonna have to up our game to keep pace with this shit That apparently we invited a swami into dance home I was standing next to the telegraph operator with her telegraphing that incredibly obvious So

Julia Roberts so Jennifer Aniston she's Crushed to find out that Tim of the elephant is actually married his girlfriend a much younger woman Because Jennifer Aniston named to Tino or something. Yeah she's crushed to find out that Tim of the elephant has actually married his girlfriend, a much younger woman because General Fenton... Name's Totino or something? Yeah, her name is Tina. She gives a Totina? Totina? And to them, it's a sub-sign Totina. It sounds for all the world like a plug for Totina's

feature roles that they couldn't quite pull off so they aborted it part of the way through. You just heard Gary Marshall was just in a little ear buds and they're ear going, pull up, pull up. Forget the TOTINO's plug. I'll just give the money back to him. I'm not a McElroy. I can't figure out how to make it work.

Then that's one storyline. So she's dealing with her kids are now with her, their dad and their stepmom, and she has to deal with what's going on in my life right now. I understand there's too many surprises going on, but kids are spending too much time over it. My husband's glass house. I'm gonna throw a rock through it

like on that one Billy Joel album cover. Or that movie of Lili Sobiesky in it. Oh yeah, it was that called glass house. It was house, yeah. Storyline numero dos. Jason Sudakis. What? Was married to Jennifer Garner.

You said was. That's because unfortunately she was killed while serving with our armed forces. She's a Marine, she loves karaoke, she's dead now. That's her entire character. Rest in peace, who are? There's a moment where it's semperfi karaoke. There's a moment where he is watching a video

of her performing karaoke and their daughter, she has two, yeah, daughters. And the daughter walks and goes, mom loved karaoke. As if the audience was so dumb that we couldn't get that the one moment where she's singing into a microphone. Was he a professional singer on a USO tour? And they're like, oh, he's watching a video of his dead wife and not a stranger doing karaoke. I thought she was just watching a Jennifer Garner movie. I thought Jennifer Garner was like, was this an episode of Aelius that shot in a higher definition than the other episodes of Aelius?

This James Garner on the James Garner. Was Jennifer Garner on the James Garner show? Doing Carpool, Keryl? Was James Garner, Jennifer Garner's dead? Was James Garner, Jennifer James Gordon show? Doing Carpool, Keryl? Was James Garner on the Garner set? Was James Garner Garner the whole time? Now I really wanna see like James Garner on an episode of lip-sync battle. I mean, never can.

He won't pass away, but. It'll never happen. Well, that's why I wanted to happen. I want him to be alive. Can I mourn my own way to him? It's true. Speaking of mourning, just in today, Kisses and Morning. Day since today, Kisses is mourning and grieving for his wife.

He runs a gym. He's mourning in the morning. This one group of three women who really want, hang out of the gym, really want the, yeah, the gym he owns and is the only employee of, and which he alternates between wearing, Is this named Jim? I have to agree with him.

It was named after it. According to Jim, his name is Jim. Let me look up in the gym, Shonari. He has the three women who are always trying to set him up. But he's not quite ready yet. His wife only passed away. There can't wait to remain a time. He's for him.

He has a few years. Oh, yes. I think. Oh, okay. Well, I'll say yes, you're right. No, I think, weren't they saying this is the first mother's day without mother? Oh, okay, well, that's pretty early for him to be thinking about moving on, actually. Well, he's not, they want him to.

Yeah, no, I'm saying that they shouldn't be pushing him that much. I'm arguing with the movie at this point. Yes. Like, come on, on movie because the movie very year after tragic death. Well, it's like the movie is kind of like one like at one of those old first plays where a lot of crazy things can happen to the end.

All the characters have to be paired up into marriage bonds right. So that society can reassert its its sense of order. Gary Marshall is like no, no, no, young man of breeding age. Even though you're on the older end of the scale and your wife has sadly perished, you must pair bond with an attractive female so that you can continue to live the way God intended. It's a killer Gary Marshall person.

It's me. Gary Marshall. I thought Paul F. Tompkins was sitting in the room for a moment. I don't like these references other days. Well, it's like, it's like that movie, Witching and Bitching, I recommended a while ago, the Alex DeLa, a Glacier movie, where, like, for whatever reason, even the bad guys and the good guys are all at the one character's kids play at the end. They're all just like hanging out in the audience and enjoying themselves.

Like, it doesn't matter, it was fun. No worry about it. Now, there are two other storylines, but they are actually kind of one and the same. Julia Roberts is a successful author turned jewelry pitchman on the Home Shopping Network. Or on A Home Shopping Network. It says HSN right there in the corner.

Does it? Yeah, but it could be like her shopping network. Like maybe it's a different one. And she spends most of the movie pitching jewelry, but that's somehow related mystery, I think, to there's a bar called Shorties. There's a winter-saddit who's- Why is it called Shorties, Elliot? It is owned by a dwarf, Dan. That's why it's called Shorties. Somehow more offensive than the Shorties skateboard company T-shirts that had a baby climbing out of a woman's vagina.

I mean, that's where they come from with. This kid in my high school had one of those shirts and I was so jealous of this weird super gross shirt. Like all I have is this enormous Johnson shirt. You're like, I want to masturbate to that shirt. Yeah. I was nothing sexier than a baby. Yeah. I was nothing sexy. I was singing from all the drama moments which I was like. That was a really good impression of me, Dan. Dan, do another steward impression.

It's me, steward. I love beer. Are you two steward? Wow. Oh, wow. The race is going on. Which one's a real cast? Which one's a real steward?

Who do I shoot? Listen. Listen and do a mirror. It's like an audio mirror. Dan, do another one. Do another one. Which ones are real steward who do I shoot? Listen and do a mirror Like an audio mirror Dan do another one. Do you know there was a clue for you to shoot in? Oh, that's something only steward would say Dan. Oh, do an impression of me now Hey, I'm Elliott Elliott Kaylen got me the flop house. That's the kind of thing I would say no do Paul Hill say, now do Paul. Oh, he'll, there it is. That's just like how I feel.

I'll tell you what Paul, Dan, do a Johnny Carson. Oh, some weird, wild stuff. Okay. Now do Ronald McDonald. Have some diabetes kids. Now do the entire movie mac and me. All right. So we open on a house. Okay, let's go back to Mother's Day, shall we?

hilarious bit, Dan the Impressionist continue, anyway. So shorties is the home of a waitress and a bartender who are in love. They have a child together, young. Part of an enormous staff. It's for the number of, I mean, the one time we see Shorty's full is when it is morning like a week before Mother's Day and it is packed.

Yeah, it's like... It's been in the biz, I know, the week before Mother's Day. It's a real crush at the bar. It's like a movie strip club. Like when you see a strip club in a movie where it's like everyone's at the strip club at 10 a.m. for some reason. Yeah, and you wanna invest in that business? Exactly.

This bar is like, yeah, I don't know whether it's like we're taking our mothers out for a drink because like, I don't know what else to do with my mom. She's visiting me. Let's take her down to the local door phone establishment. That'll make it a little easier to take her criticism of where all the party parties are in. Where at least one of the waitresses has a child and another waitress is working while pregnant. She is literally working. She's about 12 months pregnant.

Yeah, I think she is working till the moment her water breaks. She does in the movie, yeah, she's working for two. And they have a child together, but the waitress doesn't want to get married. The bartender keeps popping the question and she keeps saying no, she's afraid of the marriage not going well. Did I mention? She is an English accent. Yes, and he's English. And he's also an up and coming stand-up comic. Oh, get ready for laughs. He appears regularly at John Lovevitz's comic club.

Comedy club. I was just like comic hall. He's a at John Lovevitz's comic club, comedy club. I was just like comic haul. He's a comedy club where there is a competition for a $5,000 prize. And let me tell you, this comedy club, it's not an easy crowd. It's the easiest crowd. Because Dan described to me how well everyone's jokes go over. They are laughing as if it is the, as if Louis CK and Richard Pryor had sex on the stage. That would be a whole house. That wouldn't be awkward at all, Sam. No way, no way. So I'm like, I got to picture this.

Who's on top? Richard, of course, unless it's after the accident. Oh, okay. Yeah. So the, as realistic as this very warm crowd is, I think the introductions of people's names. I think the only thing that really took me out of the movie was when a baby is presented with a $5,000 giant novelty check. It lists the name of the club as Buckhead comedy club

as opposed to some stupid pun on jokes or chuckles or like Mr. Gingel factory or something. It should have been like yeah funny bone laugh them up uncle yuck yucks. Yeah, uncle yuck. No more went to jail Or Dan Now I said poor uncle guy. Oh, I said or anyway. Did I say there were three storylines this movie and then I went through three Anyway, did I say there were three storylines in this movie and then I went through three? Surprise! There's a fourth storyline and it's all about lies and deceit and when lies and deceit become sexual and bisexual, I mean stupid and hackney Because it turns out that Kate Hudson is married to Asif Monvey. Wait it look great for Asif. Hey great for Kate

I mean Asif so funny dude. He is a funny dude, but let's She's a big star. She's great. She's America's sweetheart, etc. She's America's fool's gold and her sister. She's a little bit of heaven and No, no, she wasn't a little bit of heaven. She wasn't I thought she was a little bit of heaven. So wait, but how do you lose a guy in 10 days? It's a failure to launch I guess guess. Maybe he's almost famous. Have we covered all the K-tuds? Skeleton key. What else was she in? That was a good pull.

I remember when a friend of mine was writing a screenplay that was a New Orleans set ghost thriller with a song with a female lead. And then I was like, I've got some bad news for you. This movie just came out called Skeleton Key. And she was like, damn it. It's really script away. So it was in the ocean.

And I was eaten by an octopus. That octopus then sold that script for a million dollars. The ironic part. That octopus now named Max Landipus. Max Landipus is typing away at four different screenplays at once with his eight arms. Anyway, Kate Hudson's sister is married to, what's your name? Carmen Esposito. Cameras.

Cameras. Camerasna Esposito. Make a mistake, I'll let you. Max Fun alum. And their mom is Margot Martin Dale. And Margot Martin Dale is kind of like an old Texas red state hick who does not approve of Kate Hudson having once dated in Indian and her other daughter, she has even no idea of that.

Her other daughter played by new Becky Sarah Chalky. Oh, right, right. Chalky, right? Chalky? Yeah. I call her even know why. Her other daughter played by new Becky Sarah Chalky. Oh, right, right. Chalky, right? Chalky? Yeah. I call her Scrubsie. So. Like when, when you're having dinner with your parents?

Yeah, when you hang out, is she listed as Scrubsie in your phone contacts? Maybe. Maybe. It says Scrubsie. And then when you look at it just to know that says, put Sarah Chalky's name here, when I, phone number here when I get it. Anyway. It says Scrubsie and then when you look at it just to know that says put sir chalkies name here

phone number here when I get it anyway. It's an aspirational alien margo martin dale is driving around in her RV and she is as racist and hobo phobic as the day is long to the point that her daughters have lied to her four years about their lives Kate Hudson is married and has a child and camera spasito is married and has a child the children are not babiesito is married and has a child. The children are not babies. They've been around for years and they've been lying to their mother and father who is essentially a non-indity about their lifestyle. I kind of want to find out how they were able to maintain this elaborate lie. While we were talking over a lot of the movie, they were talking about how the parents lived down in Texas

and they live in a trailer park and there were jokes about they're having a rotary phone. I guess Paul's right. I should pay more attention to the movies. I'll tell you how they do it. Most of the brilliant SutterFuge involved every time that Kate Hudson said. SutterFuge is that one Kurt Sutter showrunner of TV's

Sons of Anarchy? Yes, goes into a fugue state and creates the bastard executioner. that Kate Hudson's. So if you just that one Kurt Sutter showrunner of TV's sons of Annter's. Yes, go to a fugue state and create the bastard executioner. The ironic thing was I was gonna let that go of all the people to allow it to. I got to stick up for my boy Dan over here. I appreciate that. Appreciate that. Hey, you know what Dan? Welcome Stewart. Okay, you're going to jail. I don't just turn back on me. I don't understand. Boomerang, Donia, Starrington, You know what Dan? Welcome Stuart. Okay, you're going to jail, Dan. I'll just turn back on me. I don't understand. Boomerang Donia, starring at Emerfy.

Boomerang Donia. That's the sequel to Boomerang. For anyone who didn't get it. When Boomerang came out, I was so, it was rated R, and I'm like, I want to see this fucking movie so bad, it's gotta be so hilarious. Did you say that to your mom? Yeah, it's like mommy fucking bitch. Don't take me to see for an old,

same-ey zoo boomerang. I thought you were gonna say you're so mad that the character was named Max Boomerang. I mean, when I watch him, I don't even get why it's called Boomerang. Nobody uses one. It didn't make any sense to me. You thought Paul Hogan was gonna be in it. I was hoping, any sense to me. You thought Paul Hogan was going to be in it.

I was hoping or Yahoo series or Paul Hogan's brother Hulk. Wait there. Yes, one's American and one's Australia. Like to our gardener and James Garner. Our brother and sister. Jennifer Garner has one of those Dorian Gray paintings. She's actually as old as James Garner. Oh, wow.

James Garner got one of those paintings, but it didn't work, so he returned it. So Spencer's gifts. It's like that. Now, unfortunately, so here's the subterfuge that Kate Hudson usually puts together. When her mom skips her, she takes down the one picture of her family off the wall

so that her mom can't see it. You know, the greatest trick that Devla repulsed was convincing the world, Asif Mande was married to him. As opposed to moving anywhere else in the entire house, their entire pottery barn catalog of a house. No, that doesn't have pictures of her brown family. And laptop does not move.

No. And let's talk about, well, do we even say something and then we'll want to have a new tier of sand as well? I don't know what's worse. Lying to her mom and dad that they have, there's a grandchild. Yeah, they have a child. Or that she's been lying to her husband, her life partner,

that her parents are, she claims that they live in a, what a, like a mental hospital or something. Yeah, I would like to look at a hospital in a hospice or something. Like, which lies worse, guys? She's like, my parents live in the hospital from the kingdom.

You don't want to go visit them as full of ghosts. All sorts of crazy shit's going to happen. That makes sense. You're right. And I'm a doctor, and I don't wanna go to that hospital. My parents live in the hospital from Constantine and nobody's in it ever. Yeah, except for saying.

Udo Kier shows up, and you're like, this gotta be a horror movie, because he doesn't do it non-horror movies. Look, if you're in a doctor's office waiting room, and Udo Kier walks in, you get the fuck out of that doctor's office. You sell him a painting that's cursed. And you get out of there.

Same way that if you're the president of the United States and Max von Sido, Waxen goes, Mr. President, I have that report. You get out of the White House. You do not want to be president anymore. Like, but Mr. President, I thought we were best friends. The way that the impersonations are just flying. Oh yeah. On this episode.

Yeah. I've been working on my van side-own impression for quite a while. That's what you're doing. And it involves making my tongue three times as large as a normal. It's already shrunk back down a normal size. It'll take me about 20 minutes to work it back up. Let me start slapping it. Oh god. Hit it with this hammer 20 minutes to work it back up. Let me start slapping it.

Oh, God. Hit it with this hammer and then we'll get back to you. Uh, so Margot Martin Dale, uh-oh for a Mother's Day surprise, she is going to show up by surprise. Now here's, I want to talk about, I want to know I want to, everything works out fine in the end. So let's not even bother talking about what happens, everybody. Who cares? It turns out that the English wannabe stand-up comics girlfriend is afraid of commitment because her mother was Julia Roberts

and she gave her away for adoption. Other than that, everything happens exactly the way you think it's gonna happen. So Paul, you called that. I didn't. How are you gonna spend your winnings? You're a trifecta. My huge $5,000 baby check. Yeah. The baby wins the stand-up comedy competition. Like everyone knew it was going to happen. Jennifer Aniston falls in love with Jason Sudakes. I mean, come on. He's got a little beard. Margot Martin Dale comes around to not being racist anymore when she meets Asif Monvie's mom. Jason Sudakes manages to do a karaoke version of Humpty Dance, which is terrible because it's Mother's Day themed. And there was one other thing that happened that to do a karaoke version of Humpty Dance, which is terrible,

because it's Mother's Day themed. And there was one other thing that happened that actually was crazy, and I don't remember. Well, there was Cameron Esposito, and Second Becky made a Mother's Day float, a womb-shaped Mother's Day float. Oh, for the Mother's Day parade. Because they're lesbians, I guess.

Oh, and also, and of course, Jennifer and... It also looked like if you combined a vagina and a brick oven pizza. I can see that. It was like a funnel on a brick oven pizza. Yeah. And Jennifer Aniston throws a huge party involving still walking clowns,

and then later proves that she's the real mom because there is an asthma scare with her son, and she's the only one who knows where his back up in Hale is. In a way that brick oven pizza vagina kind of reinforces my statement that we're all kind of like pizzas for I guess. Yeah, the cheese is the skin, the sauce is the blood, the crust is the bone. No, the exact like the crust is the top is teeth when your bones sticks out of your face. Which kind of like it to the wet sprocket song.

Which part is the body of Christ again? The box maybe? The pu maybe the pupperonis. The little plastic table that keeps it from holding up. Yeah, what is that represent? I guess you have the Trinity. That was when I carried you, small son. That's when I carried the top of the box. That was when I stacked up these boxes.

Now, there's two things I want to talk about. One interior design. Let's just set that aside. Everything in this looks like a restoration of Heart We Can't Log. Everyone is that level of rich in movies like this where they can afford anything and they have jobs like interior designer or in Tiffy All Offense case, guy. It seems like a linen suit model probably, that's why it seems so ridiculous that Julia Roberts' character would give her daughter up for adoption to pursue a career when in theory,

she's just going to earn money. It will just appear and she'll have nice things. Yeah. And I realized earlier, we said a baby wins a stand-up comedy competition. It's just the guy carries the baby on stage with him and does a baby. And everyone's like, oh, a baby. Well, the real star of the show carries the baby on stage with her with him and does everyone's like, oh, baby.

The real star of the show is the fat gay man in the in the front row that he bans her with during the act. But they still give the check to the baby. I mean, there's a bunch of other comics who don't get a check because of that. And you imagine you've been going to bulkheads comedy pavilion or whatever. Buckhead. Buckhead's comedy place. Yeah.

For comedy camp. Yeah, yeah, the comedy camp. Yeah, yeah, discount comedy barn by an embalk for weeks to get this $5,000 check and on the last day a baby swoops in and takes it from you. I would be so mad. I would be so I'd be on WTF the next week complaining about that. And Mark Martin would be like, ah, that's interesting, that's interesting. Where'd your parents grow up? What did your dad do for a living? He's like, we used to have beef, but.

That's, tell me, this baby, did I know them? Was I mad at them? Is it me not like me? Hey, baby, who are your guys? Yeah, who are your guys? Anyway, a lot of shade going around here all of a sudden. I broadcast shade. I would say it's more

We yeah Certainly Punching up. Yeah, I was which someone had punched up this script So I said I would place a theory design on the side and then we talked about anyway So they're all rich. It doesn't matter Jennifer. And can on a moment's whim Throw a huge party in fall. Like a 40 to 50,000 dollar party. Do you just say Jennifer Garner?

I thought it's a Jennifer Aniston. She's a ghost at this point. I'm sorry, Jennifer Garner, Reston piece. Jennifer Aniston Ken, on a whim, overnight, playing this 40 to $50,000 kids party with a huge inflatable water slide, clowns on stilts of petting zoo, and the clown gives her very good life advice while wearing creepy makeup

And I mean he's a clown. Yeah, I'm like normal clown makeup Which is just like business clown Business Business clown So that's the richness but also mother's day in this movie and look I have a mom. I'm married to a mom Mother's Day is gonna be a bit I mean we're celebrating on Saturday with my mom and on Sunday with my wife. It's her day It's like because Sunday's actual Mother's Day. They like it's a special day

They treat it in this movie like it's Christmas and Easter and Passover and Ramadan wrapped up into one day crazy And any crazy event happens in that day, and during the day they're like, oh, this was a crazy Mother's Day, right? And it's like, no one remembers that it's Mother's Day on Mother's Day. And then lead up to Mother's Day, all anyone can talk about his Mother's Day.

Even the guy whose mother, the mother he's married to, is dead, all they can talk about is Mother's Day. This Mother's Day is gonna be so difficult this year. What are you doing for Mother's Day? You got your Mother's Day. Yep. Yeah. A guy Rex's car is like, I can't believe I wrecked my car right before Mother's Day. There's going to go out and sing Mother's Day carols tomorrow. A bunch of terrorists are about to, are about to hijack a plan. They're like, no, no, no, it's Mother's Day. They've had enough. Let's do this for the mothers and just give them a rest. Yeah, maybe our armies are massing at the border

between our world and hell and he goes, wait, it's Mother's Day. I should be with my mom. Give them this. He goes over, he goes over, it hits play on his CD player and it goes, mother. Tell your children to walk your way. Tell your children to call regularly a novelty version.

Oh, mother. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da would have been of the karaoke version if it was done in this movie. Yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah. So feel bad about that, I guess. And if you want to get brunch with me. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is an alternate. This is like a, this is like a twilight, it might as well be a twilight zone episode

where at the beginning, they're like, consider if you will, a universe. That's your rod settling. Wait, hold on. Consider if you will. Consider if you will. Consider if you will. Consider if you will. Consider if you will. Consider your teeth more. With it a tour so simple. Consider if you will. A world. Consider with you will.

A world where you mother. Don't move your jaw to it. Like you're like you're used to having a cigarette in there. A world where mothers. A little less deep. I keep your a world lip shut. A world where mother. A world where mothers. And I'll just talk through your nose. Oh, a world one mother. Okay, now is if he's got like a bad cough. A world one. A world.

Okay, now he's really sleeping. A world where mother's. Okay, now he's drunk. A world where mother's. Okay, now he's Italian. A world where mother's. Okay, now he's been. A world, wait wait hold on Wow

being a man a world I can't do it okay you think he's heavier from Fiddler yeah he sounds like Tevye a world where mother's bad man sounds crazy no but in a little village of Atlanta, Georgia, Mother's Day is the most important day about, man. I was born in the mother's day, but Father's Day comes later. So Dan, okay, it's like a Twilight Zone where Mother's Day is the most important day. Yeah, it is like we wandered into the like red universe and fringe and everybody's like super into Mother's Day and Leonard Nimoy's there. Yeah. Sure. Sounds like a magical world. Sure, fringe. Yeah. Yeah. It was a popular show.

There was like five or six seasons. Yeah. I'm not talking like fucking super natural or something. No, sure. Fab on five. Lots of shows I don't know. What's the mall? Fringe was a popular show. It's got to come as popular supernatural with you. It's a commercial. No, you're right. I'm just shot. I'll like went for like 14 seasons. Yeah, I still go and I don't think they've increased the budget since the first season.

Like, if any broke, yeah, they're like, now we'll just turn a mustache into a demon wig. Okay. Got that mustache off. So Mother's Day, it's all of what talks about. It's a week till Mother's Day. It's Mother's Day coming up. What about the Mother's, Mother's Day, Day of All Mother's? It's a little overwhelming, even for a movie called Mother's Day. I mean, this movie is pitched so hard like so much of Gary Marshall stuff is pitched so hard to a certain demographic. On this case, the demographic is mothers.

Well, yeah, just I mean, it might as well have been two hours of a overfilled glass of white wine. This is the Kathie Leon Hoda of movies. It's like you get it's like a movie version of an electronic picture frame. This is the same seven pictures of your grandkids over and over again. They may as just sneaking a bunch of jokes about how kids can never take their face away from their cell phones. There's someone says tweet at me at some point.

And I got up and stomped around the room because it's not a fucking stupid Well, then then Jennifer and I some talks about how stupid she thinks it was tweet at me. Did she say tweet at me? No, but I thought it was stupid because it was clearly snuck in there because they're like old people think Twitter is Yeah, unless they're the president I guess which case they think Twitter is their lifeline to the American people. Uh, there's a lot of bad jokes in this movie and things that are set up as jokes, but then aren't. And there's a lot of, I guess, attempts at what would have been jokes, but they're like,

they have the form and structure of jokes, but the, yeah, there's no there there. And there's definitely some ADR stuff snuck in there to punch up scenes. I was fully expecting at some point in this movie to hear. And here comes Slipknot, the man who can climb everything. That was how ADR this movie was. Yes. He's still a very character. My favorite ADR line of the year. I'm sorry, I'm still processing. So sad about Slipknot. I'm still processing. So sad about slipknot. You just had so much attitude.

You're so fully fleshed out. I mean, you care, you're really cared. You think that guy's gonna slip? Not. How we got this name, actually. But there's a lot of scenes like, let me just, I'm just gonna tell you one scene where Jennifer Aniston is going to her kids

to talent show or something. Yeah, all I know is it's in the park much like everything else in the movie. It is way to high budget for what it's supposed to be Which I guess it's supposed to be a kid perform like one of those kid music performance recitals at school her older son is playing in the orchestra band the younger son Is gonna appear, I guess, in a parade of animal costumes. And she's mad because their stepmother shows up and takes a seat that she was saving,

and they argue, but then that fizzles out. And then the son walks out, dressed as a lion, but he's put his costume on backwards so the tail looks like a penis. And everyone thinks it's hilarious. It's pretty funny, dude. End of scene. End of scene. The tension doesn't exist. There's no consequences. It's not even like, what should the consequences be? Off with your head. Yeah. Fucking 10 days in the isolation queue. Taking away in cuffs.

You have made light of the Holy Fallis. You should spend four days in the hot zone. You're one life-up. Outside the city walls. Oh, the scorch? I stone them like an astridly jack of clay. But like that, like, the mom would be embarrassed or people are shocked by it. Maybe there's an old lady and some covers the old ladies,

eyes and the old lady pushes their hand away. Like, then she starts rapping and you're like, whoa, this is getting good. And Jason's day, cause it's like, let me handle the rapping mist. My name is Humpty, et cetera, et cetera. But it's like, and a lot of the scene, something happens that, or like for instance,

there's a sit in that at the aforementioned very expensive kids party. Timothy O'olephant climbs up to the top of this water slide to get his son who refuses to leave to go with him to a food fighter's concert. And a girl, little girl. I mean, I kind of empathize with this kid. I mean, they're not terrible.

I don't love them. Sure, but I think he thinks Dave Grohl just kind of, he's a little icky, you know. Yeah, of course. Someone's projecting. He's a little icky. Uh, you got to admit though, two huge bands that guys on a roll. God damn it. Anyways, so two of the all-white clams at the top of the screen.

My soul just left my body. You're welcome. Tell your body. I said you're welcome for the vacation. Can it go to the sole asylum, a band he's not in? Oh! I think I know kind of where you're going. Oh, never mind Oh come on it's in the overall thing. Yeah, it's a shame about Ray

Track it all but you guys are just a bunch of cherry pop and daddy Local area he prefers to go by cherry pop and Danny. He's one man, cherry pop and daddy's trippy. That's what his tattoo says. Not all I can picture is Dan in like a full one man band outfit with like the drum. But over a zoot suit. Oh my god. He's gonna cherry pop and daddy's.

Oh, damn. How many new and upgrading donors does Max Fun need to get at the next Max Fun for you to get a tattoo that says cherry But then Danny Forming a demo of Zood suit riot. Yeah, I would do that. I don't know about Any number that would look to have a drink, dude. Like, tattoo we wanted to get anyway. I mean, Dan, if one of us gets a tattoo, it's big stakes, really, because I could not

be buried in a synagogue cemetery. I'm not a kid. And you would ever have cherry- Poppin' Danny for an interview. It's the content of the tattoo. You didn't get it, Tad, it was so cool. You were gonna see if you were a shower. And you'd be like, hey, it's kind of funny, right? It's a goof.

You're like wiggling your shoulders. It's a monotic tattoo. Look, it's dancing. It's a lot of our own. It's Sherry Poppin' dance. Yeah. Come on with me. And it's like, sir, why is your shirt off if you're already, I mean, the idea of this tattoo, let's get real good.

Is that breaking down? The reveal should be done, you know, when you're, when you already have that special summon in your apartment. Things are real romantic. They probably can't leave at that point. But light your low, you're drinking champagne, candles, maybe cherry pop and daddies is on the solarium for city. Turn it low though.

Turn table. Because it's got the original vinyl. Yeah, you want to hear that? Yeah, it's just got a warmer sound. Because otherwise, let me show you my tattoo, sir. We can't serve you with this pigly wiggly. You don't put your shirt back on. Wait, I'm being served at a pigly wiggly.

I'm like the deli counter. You can't share up to the meat counter. Where you getting the sandwich at a walla. So you either want a date or a half pound of oven gold turkey. All right. I'm just going to sit on this watermelon and tell you sit out a waiter I'm making a school out of 20 boxes of ritz to eat another box of ritz I'm sorry, but I'm done as I would at a restaurant. Sir, do not tell me to put my shirt on and obey store rules.

No, I expect a tip. I'll tell you that. I thought it, Piggly Wiggly, it was my way right away. Oh, that's a different place. I apologize. No, all right. So anyway, what were we even talking about? I don't know.

I'm talking about his tattoo. With a tattoo. With a fucking movie. I think we watched a movie don't know. I was talking about his tattoo. With a tattoo. With a fucking movie. I think we watched a movie in the United States. It's called Mother's Day. Timmy the Oleh Fond has climbed to the top of a water slide. And a little girl is egg-done by Jen Fransson to turn off the pump that keeps it inflated.

Okay. He's going to fall into some water. He's going to fall and hurt himself. It slowly deflates. And Timmy the Oleh Fond steps off of it. To I guess the mild bemusement of the crowd. The young girl who did it takes her glasses off and then makes a look of shocked amusement

because apparently when wearing her glasses she couldn't see what was happening. We are to believe that this little girl is far-sighted and she is wearing her reading glasses. Gary Marshall, I say stop it. Stop trying to pervade these lies to us. You have stopped, you've passed. I'm so sorry sir. That was insensitive. We'll see you at the crossroads. So you won't be lonely, is that it? How does? I'm mad now.. On that note, I think we should. If ever there was a bone thug in harmony, it was Gary Marshall. We should move on to final judgments, whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie,

or a movie you kind of like Stewart, what do you have to say? Oh, man, I had such a good time talking about it. Let's say good, good movie. All right, that was a shocker. I'm gonna say this is a bad, bad movie. It's not the most offensive movie that we watched. I enjoyed it more than Assassin's Creed. No, it certainly kept my attention more than, I would say.

For all that time you were checking your phone. Well, but you don't know. You don't know how much it usually checks. Yeah, we're falls asleep during the film. It's just probably more diverting than 70% of the movies that we watch, but I still can't give it any good rating. So at the time, I'm assuming Dan's astral projecting or something. I'm going to also I'm going to give it a similar rating.

It's not fun enough to be good bad. or something. I'm going to also, I'm going to give it a similar rating. It's not fun enough to be good bad. It's not a great movie, but like, hey, if given a choice, you put a gun in my head and you said, you want to watch Mother's Day again or you want to watch Home Sweet Hell. Look, there's going to be an Elliott-shaped hole in the VCR as I shove that tape of Mother's Day in. I can't get it in fast enough. Was it released on VHS?

I Gary Marshall, I assume, asked for a VHS charity for his home. It's a being for him to be buried with, the talented, yeah. I mean, for true collectors. And what of what would you say? Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, yeah, it's everything you guys said. It's not awful. It didn't offend me, but it's like a melted vanilla ice cream

cone. It's bad. We're gonna hold it to that. You're gonna offensively bad, bad. That's okay. That's a good way to describe it. Yeah. Now I'm thinking that they probably did release on VHS from like Jack White's third man records or something.

It's an unlimited pressing of like, I feel like they want to do it in VHS if only so the grandparents of this world could keep it in a wicker basket. And then what lighted on fire. Yeah, to bring back their crops. Yeah, of course. Yeah. We're best.

The VHS tapes that they keep in the bathroom for some reason. Mm hmm. Uh, those smells good, dude. Yes. But you can't watch your hands with it. You can't. You can't. Or eat it. Or make a have a chicken making nest out of it.

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We should move on to, uh, you getting that tattoo? I'm for that. Our sponsors. We have a couple of sponsors. Our first. I'm for that. Our sponsors. We have a couple of sponsors. My first sponsor is Dan's Bad Idea tattoos. That are keeping the lights on on this fine program. I guess it's okay. It's one light. And the first is ziprocruiter.com.

Are you hiring? Yeah. Do you know where you're to post your job to find the best candidates? Uh, no. Post your... No, no, no, how did you find out about it, Paul? Listen.

Listen, yeah, listen. Let's tell them my story right now. Listen, buddy. Keep rolling. Posting your job in one place isn't enough to find quality candidates. If you want to find the perfect hire, you need to post your job on all the top job sites.

With zippercruder.com, you to post your job on all the top job sites. With zippercutor.com, you can post your job to 100 plus job sites, including social media networks, like Facebook and Twitter, all with a single click. Oh, damn, let me stop you right there. Yeah. 100 plus. Now that means more than 100, right? That is the literal meaning of 100 plus. Yes. But how many clicks do I need to do that? I would need like 300 clicks. A single click. One click? I think that if you had to do it to 100 sites and you needed 300 clicks, you would be

a fool that mathematically. So I guess what you're saying is my plan to compete with Zippr-Crooter with Zappr-Crooter, a three clicks for every site it goes on process, is not as good as Zipro Cruder. No, I think that that's a, you've come up with a fool's errand there. Well, take it from Dan, don't invest in my new company,

just go to Zipro Cruder, to recruit all the zips you want. And right now, my listeners are listeners. Yeah, thank you, Dan. And post jobs on Zippercooder. No, no, star of the show, Dan McCoy. The only one anyone tunes in for, Dan McCoy. All the Dan heads up there.

Yeah, all the Danos, the cherry pop and dannies themselves. Listeners can post jobs on Zippercooder for free by going to zippercooder.com slash first at zippercooder.com slash first one more time to try it for free go to zippercuda.com slash first. The Dan if you were hiring for something for something what would you be hiring for? What would you dream business that you're hiring other people and it can't be like a Dan blow job business. A real big dude.

I can't believe you fucking thought of that. I can't believe you said that. What if I had my own personal bard? Just keep a PG, right guys? Personal bard? Yeah, a bard that came behind me and sang songs with my exploits. Oh, that's cool.

Now he's sitting on the couch, catching up with Legion. Danny of the 10 fingers. Danny of the 10 fingers. Did you see the ocean Eric? He seems exceedingly sad. The oxygen goes in. Carbon dioxide goes out. Dan, Dan, Dan McCoy breathing all about $10, please. Are you going to take a shower today? All right. All right. Well, I'm a panch with no shirt. It's 6 p.m. It's all he's worn all day. I guess it's going to be out soon.

I'll check it on over his bare chest for the Chinese delivery man. Say something. Real talk, basically, actor. Real talk, guys. How often do you accept deliveries from food places in your underpants? Uh, like in my just, just my underpants? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I throw on some pajama pants.

I'm not a monster. Well, sounds like stew is a monster. I'm guessing. That makes me a monster. Do you at least like sort of like poke your head around the door? Are you just a waggle out for a fall? I assume sort of just checks the fly on his wife's front to make sure that he's not hanging out. Yeah, sometimes, yeah, he's as long as it falls out.

He waits to open the door fully before the big reveal. Yeah, your tips, sir. Mm-hmm. Uh, no, I was just wondering, because, you know, different styles. Yeah, for different files. Anyway, uh, the filing system difficult. The next, the next sponsor that helps us hear the flop house is Blue Apron. Blue Apron. Blue Apron. Not all ingredients are created equal fresh high quality ingredients make a real difference.

So it's important to know where your food comes from. For less than $10 per person per meal, Blue Apron delivers seasonal recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients to make delicious home cooked meals. Wait, Dan, pre-portortioned ingredients. You're saying, I don't have to measure shit out, which I hate doing pardon my language. I don't need to measure fuck out, which I hate doing. Yes, you're weird lazy, uh, problem, mental block against taking out some measuring cups. Uh, let's talk about it for a second.

There's a little thing called parallax, which makes it, so I have to line up the lines on the cup real close to my face to make sure the right amount is in there. Otherwise, optical illusion. I have too much or too little. That's too much stress for me. Somebody measured out beforehand, give it to me that way. Lou Aperin, you did it. Thank you very much. Uh, yeah. I mean, yes, it's a great service. I'm not... I'm not saying anything bad about it. It is seasonal. For the piss pissy anal retentive chef.

Less than $10 a person? Dan. No, I mean, this is a good service. It's a good service. I mean, and this is the upcoming meals you can get. Please, thank you. I don't know why we're so angry about it. Dan, read the meals.

You got beef teriyaki stir fry with sugar snap peas and lime rice. That sounds good. I'm rice sounds great to me. Big spinach and egg flat bread with sauteed experience and lemon aoli. Oh. Three cheese and baby broccoli stromboli with tomato and oregano dipping sauce.

I can't even picture that, but it sounds delicious. And crispy salmon and roasted potato salad with pickled mustard seeds and crème fresh sauce. Listen. You can do all that while wearing your underpants. Yeah. You don't have to worry about putting on pajama pants or saying hi to a delivery guy. No. That's the worst part of the saying hi. Yeah. Hi. Check out. You're probably noticing my lack of pants right now. You can check out this week's menu and get your first Don't worry the cash is in my underpants. Hold on

Is that like I definitely there was like a heat wave one summer and I went into Bodeg is in Brooklyn and there would be signs that said no Braw money Really yeah Holy shit cuz it was super hot out. It was all sweaty. Yeah, all right. Check out David's head of money. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with free shipping by

going to blueapern.com slash flop house. First three meals for free. Yeah. Well, if you go to blueapern.com slash flop house, how do you not do that? Yeah. That's three meals free. You know what I call that? Almost impossible in this modern world. Is this the time when we look up in the sky for the massive jujujumbo tron. Yes, it's beautiful. What do I see up there in the sky?

Let me peel my peepers. Or will you peel the skin? This message is for D-dog, the message is from Justin. Happy birthday to my best friend in the world. You make my life one million times better and I honestly have no idea what I would do without you. You deserve a great bidet and I hope this helps. Love, just. I got it was soon that was B day. Yeah. Oh, let me bring that over. Yeah, no, you deserve a foot tall. Great B day. And I hope this helps. Love Justin. Oh, except my Academy Award in the form of a Cadbury egg.

And I have a jumbo-tron message to read. Oh, this message, yes, this message is for Max Fun East and Flop House DC participants and it's from Brian and it goes like this. The Flop House live event in DC was a blast. I met lots of great people and I took some fun photos. Apparently trading pain meds for gin and tonics can leave things a bit unclear. To all I met and was charming too, you are welcome. To anyone I was not, I apologize. And to the guy who watched my bag 300 times while I went to the bar, thank you. See, lots of you Max Funsters in the Polkanoes, Brian preferred gin withheld. It's Hendrix.

That's a lovely message. That was very nice and sweet. And the Max Fun community is a very nice one. Speaking of the Max Fun community, I just want to say real quick, shout out to Alan White, who is currently recovering from a very invasive surgery. That dude's awesome. Met him at Max Fun Count East. So go, Alan.

And Dan, we have some things of our own to plug, right? A few things. Is that time for that yes first off Just quickly a friend of the flop house a former co-host of the flop house John Kingman is directing a feature sci-fi comedy in New York City in June and he needs your help It's called ghost busters well. No, I head on over to AndyGo and search Snatchers or just go to trending and film. Get some rewards, support Indie Film, and see a cameo from us, the Flop House, if we can manage it with our schedules.

Yeah, we're working on that. We're hoping to be in this movie. And follow Snatchers on Instagram at Snatchers Film or Twitter also at snatchers film. So the movie might need three romantic leads is what you're saying. Yeah, it's weird, but I'll buy it. I'll allow it in movie. It's good to be king, et cetera. Stewart, I believe you had an exciting project.

Yeah, I just want to say we've mentioned this before, but we have a hot new release from the flop house. It's super hot. It's a super hot new release. Pression of the pizza of an steaming moist release. We have a new issue of the flop house funny. That's the digital flop house comic book that we make and put out, we put out with all proceeds going to the ACLU. This recent issue, the second issue was written by me, titled, Harry Knight in Wolfsburg.

I wrote it, Jacob Edgar did the art, Colors by Derb Leckelli. I'm sorry if I mispronounce that, by the way. Letters by Simon Bowland, Cover by the always amazing Tom Fowler. Who did the numbers? The numbers. Let me double check that thing. The cover art by Nathan Fairbiron, Fairbiron. I don't know how to pronounce it properly. Cover Dress by Chris Eliopoulos. Editor is the incredible Nate Cosby. You kind of put this whole thing together. So if you get a chance, I've given everybody credit, I believe. And there's an amazing pinup in there by Alex Robinson from Star Wars Minute, a show that Dan and I are going to be on next week. minute, a show that Dan and I are going to be on next week. So if you get a chance, go support the ACLU and read my silly little story that I had been cooking in my own brain box for a while.

And if you haven't picked up the issue that Dan wrote, and then I think LA, it's on the way and it looks great so far. Yeah, it looks, the mind is looking good. I think it's for next month. I don't know when we're going to be putting it out. We'll tell you when it's coming out. But the more, the more support we get, the more we're able to put those out. Yes. And then the more we can contribute to the worthy cause of protecting our civil liberties and freedoms and so forth. Which seem all the more tenuous nowadays. But with the werewolves and things. Oh, what, what, what? Speaking of civil

liberties and werewolves, hey guys, we have a live show coming up on June 9th. Not an accurate segue. There will be no where wolves or civil liberties. Now, this show is at the Bellhouse in Guanas and Brooklyn. Now people are like, didn't that show sell out? Why are you promoting it on your podcast? Why are you taunting me? It's like that when you two played Madison Square Garden and they printed up posters where the tour dates were all marked as sold out and plastered them all over the old city and it was like, why are you advertising a sold out concert?

Why just to fulfill with a contractual obligation? I didn't even want to see you too. And you're wiping it in my face that I couldn't even buy tickets to see a band. I don't even like. I honestly thought you said YouTube. Oh no, yeah, YouTube was playing at Madison Square Garden. And I was on day sold out the garden. I was like, I gotta see this at home. I would love to see chocolate rain per plate live though.

I can't get up that slide. So anyway, that show is sold out. But lucky ducks that you are, there's a second show that same night, June 9th you kidding me two shows and one night two shows and one night We're gonna be crazy good. Yeah, we're gonna be giddy tired It's that 10 p.m. The second show doors right 9 30 and we've announced what movies they are we can say with so on 6 9 Things are gonna get a little bit horny up in the bellhouse as we started off with the early show watching up in the bellhouse as we started off with the early show watching Triple X, one of the sequels, the Return of Xander Cage, and the late show for all you crazy folks. For all you pervs out there.

Well, you sweet pervs is going to be Dan. He just perked up 50 shades darker. Oh, so look, for those of you who come to watch the movie Dan threatened, if we didn't watch it, he would watch it on his own to jacket. We're gonna watch it for this day I didn't specifically say What you meant and usually when we do these shows we do like the big action movies or whatever for this one It's the first time I think that will have been doing a sexy movie I mean we did on charge which is not a sexy movie

No, it's like the outside. I think my thing went all the way up inside my body, which, you know, nothing wrong with that, I guess, but it got me. No, no, definitely my penis ran away and I didn't see it for a couple days. It sent me a postcard. I'm so mad at you. We're watching this.

Oh, and we're gonna be doing 50 Shade Starker. So that's the second show. If you're going to the first show and you want to stick around for the second show, get a ticket for it, dude. If you didn't get a chance to get to see the second show. If you're going to the first show and you want to stick around with the second show, get a ticket for it, dude. If you didn't get a chance to go to get to see the first show because it sold out, get it taken for the second show. But the second show is going to be nuts and you better believe it's going to be pretty

obscene. A little bit nasty. Probably too much. A little bit rock and roll. No, and a little bit rock and roll. That tiny wee bit country, but not this country. Mm-hmm. Malaysia.

Belarus. And so that's the, go to the Bellhouse website. Just Google Bellhouse, flop house, two-ninth. Look, it's that easy. Wow, it sounds like we got a lot of a flop house housekeeping out of the way.

What's next, Danny Boy? Nexus, letters from listeners. Oh, cool. The first is fromters from listeners. Oh, cool. Uh, the first is from Mike last name with Hell to rights. Get ready for Mike's first letter. Mike Huckabee is writing us. I thought he was a total asshole. That will can't stop him from writing.

Because the flop house will take letters from anybody. No matter how big an asshole you are, there's a place for you in the flop house heart because the flop house heart is big enough For us holes like you. Okay, Dan. Elliot, can I ask you a question? Go right ahead. I wrote you a letter. Would you read it on the flop house? I guess what I would do is screen it for content ahead of the time. Now, fuck.

Did he sign that letter? Did he sign that letter? Yes, he signed it. Love Adolf. Then I'm selling it on that secondary market. But here's the thing. Should it go to a museum? Yes, should it go to a creepy collector with a wood panel basement with that one swastika flag hanging up that all those bad guys have hanging up in there, wood panel basements. I don't want it to go to him, but if the price is right, that's the wisdom of the market.

So let's mark it down as the letter that maybe we won't read. Unless he has a good question about, I don't know, Logan, or such a jit ray. Yeah. Oh, if he wants to know about that, then sure, yeah. My class dang with held rights. In the fall of 2013, I an impressionable young flop fan took some time off from college to backpack through Western Europe, like a walking, talking URL writing cliche. So was that so was that I found myself extremely hung over waiting

to change chains, trains in the Rotterdam station. And change chains. I don't know what his life is like. Change, change, train. Change your trains. Changing trains. And the Rotterdam train station, listening to you as luck would have it. Was it changing trains that went with Peltier?

Yeah. It's on Hannah. Listening to the newest flop house episode, Food Fight, when you three got to the math classic, hot, changing training day. This is not my fault. He says, hot on a 10-10 roof instead of cat on a 10-10 roof. Pantant, my carefully fabricated world-weaver.

He wrote a letter to us, dude. Don't make fun of that. Dan, you knew what he meant. Just correct it in your head and then say the least. I started talking because I was reading the fucking letter and then I was like, this sounds wrong. And I'm like, they're gonna make fun of me, but it's a not me.

Let me pass the fuck, this is a not me or an I didn't know. It's a fucking little ghost. Let's follow the little dotted line to the end of this letter. When you three got to the end, now classic cat on a 10-ton roof, a hot 10-10 roof tangent, my carefully fabricated world weary traveler persona developed in the pits of embarrassingly childish giggles

through the dismay of the several Dutch businessmen and older women with whom I shared the platform. The memory is so vivid that now, anytime you bring up 10-10, or I listen to the food fight episode, one of my favorites in the catalog. I'm immediately and vividly transported back to Rotterdam and the scorn of the Dutch. So my question is this. Are there any movies or other places?

Sounds like the title of a Daniel Closed story or something, the scorn of the Dutch. Are there any movies or other pieces of culture that your mind is in an extra and extra, and extricably linked with the location or situation you ran when you first experienced them best my last name with held. Yes. Yeah. Like a lot.

I mean, I know that we're particularly funny. I think I think one of the ones that sticks out is I remember I went to a college visit, you know, when I was a senior in high school, and I was looking to colleges. And it just so happened that my, like, one of my closest friends growing up, Casey Crowe, shout out to KK. We went to, we happen to be doing a college visit this, like, weirdly conservative school in Southern Michigan. And we, like, we went, we went on the tour of the college together and the guy giving us the tour was this super conservative dude

and we're like, I think you're pitching to the wrong people, man. So we went on this and it wasn't very fun and the room we stayed in was terrible. So the next day we had a free afternoon, we didn't have to go to school or anything. So we drove back home and Big Lebowski was in theaters. And we both went to Big Lebowski at like a 1 p.m. showing and got out of it.

And I think we collectively were having like, maybe we had smoked weed in the van or something, but we were both collectively having this acid flashback, and it was just a really weird experience. And, yeah, it was really awesome. So whenever I think of Big Lebowski, I think of this weird time in a van, where I was having an acid flashback. Are you high right now?

No, I'm just pretty drunk. Okay. So, yes. I remember. I mean, it depends on your definition. I'm one of the first time I saw any part of bride of Frankenstein was on a rainy night in a youth hostel in Scotland. And I saw the part where Dr. Frittorius had like the little ballerina and like the. Yeah,

he's miniature humongue line in. In little bottles. And I will forever associate that with being in Scotland displaced among other poor travelers. I think all forever remember a little double feature of the great outdoors and stripes as being the movies that I watched on tape in the dining hall at my summer camp on the big night when instead of sleeping in our cabins, we all slept in the dining hall. And we watched the band of doors and when the younger kids went asleep, mind you, in the same room as everybody else. And I was one of the younger kids, but I stayed up anyway, the older campers and the adults put on stripes.

Do you like it to make out with a girl or something? No, I think I was like, I don't want a judge. Yeah, thank you. I think it was 12, so no. Like a squirrel. Oh, okay. I mean, I don't live in. But it was, there was something, but there's something about- Sounds like you're holding up to party, dude.

There's something about sitting in my sleeping bag in this big dining hall watching the grand outdoors. A movie I don't care for. Well, I mean at the time, I thought it was awesome. And then does need each like sheep testicles or something in that? No, that's funny. Funny. Funny.

And the great outdoors he has the steak challenge where he has to eat the entire steak and get it for free. And then he ends up throwing it up later. It's the sheep testicles with goat balls or whatever there is. Yeah. Where he's eating them and he loves them and he's eating them and there's a,

he's beating the record from anywhere ever eating and they're like, those are goat balls and he doesn't want to be more and it's like, you've been chowing them down. Like you love those things, dude. Don't fall to society's nor. You thought they were delicious until you found out what they were, but anyway, what about

you, Paul? Um, I saw, uh, do the right thing. The night it came out in an inner city Trenton movie theater. I was one of three white people in the audience. And I'm assuming there was more than three people in the audience. You always packed. Okay. We packed audience. I was a... What went into that movie? Come out like 89, 80. Yeah, around then.

Now, so I was like a 19-year-old, dorky white guy. And it was genuinely the most visceral reaction I've ever had and been a part of at a movie. I never felt genuinely unsafe, genuinely the most visceral reaction I've ever had and been a part of at a movie. I never felt genuinely unsafe, but during the riot sequence, it was almost like one of those weird castle gimmick movies because of the tingler.

The kind of a tingler thing, like the people in the audience around me were yelling and screaming and people going up and down the aisle. And it was tense, it was very tense. But then at the end of the movie, as people were leaving the theater, it is also the most I've ever heard people talking about

the movie and the message of the movie, like how it puts up that Martin Luther King quote and then the Malcolm X quote is to whether violence is justified or not. And it was, I mean, I haven't heard, I spent a year in film school, and I haven't heard that much discussion about the message. Yeah, that kind of a connection.

Immediately following. It was actually, it wasn't just like some weird old guy being like, so what do you think of the movie? I was gonna say, hang out in a New York movie theater and all the old people are gonna wanna talk to you about what the movie meant. You're like, dude, I just wanna go home. Like I have my own thoughts about the movie

and I don't need to share them with new old man. Old man, look at my life. I don't wanna talk to you about this movie. Oh damn, look at my life. I'm a lot like Stu. Yeah. But again, it was an intense movie experience. I've never had anything approaching that. So moving on, this is from Jeremy Lasting with Hell.

Jeremy's spoken in the form of a letter. That song's actually about Jeremy Sisto. Oh, really? I didn't know that because he speaks. You make a good boy again. Makes a lot of sense. And it has spoken. Check out.

Check out. Yeah, Lemon Yellow Sun. It's all there. I recently revisited the, does seem like a harmless little fuck. LAUGHTER You know, he tries to be menacing and waitress it just doesn't really play I recently revisited the 20 Oh

Film 2002 From the year 20,000 and two Recently revisited it the we're all brains at a computer by that point Revisited the we're all brains at a computer by that point It's just like an old IBM Fancy computer. Wow. I'm bringing in a CRT. I recently revisited the 2002 film red-green duct tape forever He revisited it might you Red you. He did not just watch the second.

Good room. Redgrain, Dr. T. Prep. I've never, he watched it at the second time. I wrapped the third or fourth time. I've never deliberately watched Redgrain. And I've only stumbled upon it in random moments. I remember as a kid stumbling on an PBS for the first time. He put the hell as this. I mean, is this a red green movie?

Yeah. So wait, did he, was he in a situation like that one episode of six feet under where a crackhead has a gun to his back and he has to go in and try to surround all day. He has to go to a gas station, buy a copy of this red green movie. It's a moment of watching. Oh, I thought you were saying twice? I thought you were saying a lot of this red green movie. The moment of watching twice. You say the plot of the movie. Was that red green?

I'm taking hostage by a crackhead. And tape's gonna get him out of it. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, and he's just be folks in Canadian, you know? Uh, no, he says. Oh, well, okay. It's an adaptation of the blu-popular beloved. It's for class of the blood popular blood.

I'm sorry Dan. An adaptation of the popular beloved 15 season 300 episode Canadian TV sketch sitcom the right green show. It's got the bonafides Although a lot of what made the TV show great comes through in the film, especially the easy chemistry between Steve Smith and Patrick McKinna as the Wiley confident red green and there's gawking nerdy and after you herald. Oh, no, well. There are plenty of things that would only make sense to Viewer the film with their familiar with the TV show. What the blight? You mean, hold on a second. You've been the red green lord. They were not seeking to widen the red green audience to a new national feature platform. No, this one was for the fans.

It was kickstarted. They're like, I got an idea for a new franchise. They're ready. How many people do you bump into? And you're like, yeah, I was watching the red green show and they're like, what's a show? I don't know the movie. Like the black and white narrated segment of the beginning setting up their conflict with the evil real estate developer or the entire character of Ranger Gord.

Conversely since the TV show is mostly about the misadventures of a group of loveable bumbling outdoorsy men in rural Ontario, every single antagonist in the movie, the real estate developer, the crooked cops, the judge was fabricated just for the film and nobody watching because they like the show has any emotional investment in them. I mean, to be fair, almost every movie ever made, you don't have any emotional investment that characters, till the movie is gone a little bit. And then you like, that's how movies work. No, that's a fair argument. It shouldn't all be like the MCU where you're like, oh, I care about this thing because I've been reading comics for 20 years.

Yeah, exactly. But yeah, it's not like people when they went to see Casablanca were like, oh, I can't wait to see how this movie handles the famous characters of Rick and Ilsa. Oh, boy. Yes. In your opinion, what movie adapted from a TV show has done the best job of balancing between being a good movie to watch without having seen the show and being a continuation of the show that fans love so much.

You're sincerely Jeremy Last name withheld. Is there a PS in there that says, Uncle Buck is not a valedictor? Yeah, the show, wait a minute, the show came after the movie. Oh shit, yeah. I can't think of that many movies there for shows. Yeah, I mean like,

serenity is what I was gonna go for. Yeah, I actually saw serenity before I saw any first live episodes. I would say that the Alan Partridge movie, I think does a pretty good job of, you don't really need to know the show, but if you do know the show, it's finding to see where he's ended up, you know?

Serenity is good at letting everyone know what you need to know to enjoy the movie and it also ties up loose ends from the show. If you watched the show and were like, I want more Firefly. Uh, maybe Twin Peaks Firewalk with me. Although I watched all the Twin Peaks

before I saw Firewalk with me. May in a weird way work better. It has a standalone David Lynch movie. If you're like a David Lynch fan, because anything you don't get, because you haven't seen the show, you're like, it's a David Lynch movie. I don't know that I'm supposed to get that.

But if you're a Twin Peaks fan and you're watching that movie, you're kind of expecting it to be, to make more sense in a way. And it doesn't, but there's a lot of really good stuff in that movie. I feel like Empire Strikes Back is a real good adaptation of the Star Wars holiday special. Yeah, good job.

I'm expanding on. I would argue it's a good version. Yeah, it's a good sequel to the holiday special. There's so many others like Star Wars is great. Holiday Special takes a dip, but then they bring it back. Franbright Strikes Back. Yeah.

And one last letter from first name, last name, and everything else withheld. Oh, just one more. On your Independence Day 2, Independence or episode, you made a bunch of jokes about weird niche sex toys, which would normally be totally fine and hilarious, except that as fate would have it, I listened to your podcast while walking to the post office to pick up a package of the very same weird niche

sex toys you were joking about. Existential terror filled me like in the line behind some lady buying stamps. What else do these wacky movie watchers know? Had the house cat hacked on my computer and stolen all my dark secrets and illegal bitcoins was I like the Will Smith character about to be poochied? Anyway, the rest of the episode was pretty funny,

so it's cool. Keep on flopping first name, last name, everything else withheld. So we're sorry for causing you that kind of existential terror. I mean, you know what I'm going to say is whenever people call out my specific sexual fetishes on a podcast and they say it's weird, I say that's what makes me extra turned on. Because Jesse and Jordan over at Jesse Jordan, whatever they do, talk shit about what's going on. What makes my own penis go crazy. It's like you don't like it. Let's just make it a little more naughty. That's the thing, baby. I've really turned on by what's being done per se, but by the boundaries

that are being broken. Like when you're playing with like a crazy Rubik's cube and then a bunch of chains come out of nowhere and like rip your face off. Yeah, like I'm longer bridge. Clive, I want to talk to you about your new, your new hell reason novel. Were you eating a pizza when you wrote it? Yes, I was. I was eating quite a bit of pizza from the local pizza shop. Well, it's pretty clear. There's a lot of pizza in this one.

We have so many toppings to show you, Kirsty. Yeah, again, it's this. I want to remind you, publisher, there was a lot of pizza being consumed. It's me, your pinhead. That's a pizza pie. lot of feats of being consumed. It's a me, a pinhead. That's a pizza pie. You like it. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus a web.

No pepperoni, no, no pineapple though. Right? It's all limits. Oh, for the pepperoni. Yeah. Salad goof. That I was a part of it. That's fine.

I went out in history, rap history. So, I'm sorry to do those two hearts. You're not giving me shit. But there's a thin line between pleasure and pain. Lastly, we should move on to our final segment on the show, which is recommendations, movies that we actually like that you should watch instead of Mother's Day. Anybody got anything? Or... Yeah, so on Mother's Day, the panic level of the relationship. The greatest film ever made. So on Mother's Day, instead of firing up the movie

Mother's Day, you're sitting around with your mommy, you're like, I want to watch a fucking movie with this lovely lady who gave birth to me. So I would recommend pulling up your iPad. Okay. At least that's what I'm going to be. I'm going to be slamming your thumb on that shutter app and watching with your mom, the movie resolution. Resolution is a low low budget like I guess horror thriller. It's about a guy who goes to help out his friend who is struggling with crack addiction. So he tricks his friend

into going back to the shack and the middle of nowhere and chaining him to the wall. And he's just kind of this guy's resolved to spending the week with his friend helping him detox. And over the course of the week, let's just say some strange things happen. So yeah, I'd recommend going to check out resolution. I know the guy who made it. What? Yep, has a new movie coming out. I think sometime next year called I think the endless or endless, which sounds awesome. So go check out resolution so you can when the new movie comes out, you can be like, oh, I already know this guy's first movie and it's good. Do I have to say

in that voice? You have to do that exact voice. If you don't do it in that voice, you owe me a coke. That's the rule. That's the law. It's the law. It's the jinx rule. Mm-hmm. Uh, I'm gonna recommend a movie. This movie that we watched tonight had Jason Sadekis in it.

And it was not very good. And so I'm gonna recommend a movie where... You're gonna recommend a movie? I'm gonna recommend a movie. I'm gonna recommend a movie. I'm gonna recommend a fuck out of it. That would have been a way better name for our podcast. I'm gonna record movie. I'm gonna record movie. I'm gonna record the fuck out of it. That would have been a way better name for our podcast. Record movie.

Yeah, we're a record movie. Hey, I'm gonna record movie, huh? It's called Colossal. It has Jason today, Cassandra. And it has Elliot's longtime paramor, and half away. Oh, dude, is that tough for you to see or so happy in movies and stuff? Now that you guys aren't together.

I mean, I would say that the idea that we are in relationship is an exaggeration to the point of being completely a fabrication. Oh, okay. There's not even a kernel truth to it. But it does, I'm glad to see that Annie is doing great. I'm glad to see that she's got a whole new home. She seems pretty successful.

Yeah, she's doing really good. I think the quote I would use a word movie, an Academy award for she wanted to get a word movie. She wanted to get me a word. And like office fucking Super Bowl pool. She wanted to get me a word for Crazy Girls sister has the worst wedding ever. Yeah, I don't like that movie. Rest in peace. So, I was great. I would say, if I didn't find the wedding so irritating, it might have been different. My poll quote for your ex-girlfriend Ann Hathaway is, unfairly maligned. She is totally unfairly maligned.

So, Dan, what's this movie that you're recommending? It's called, Colossal. Now, who produces it that way? So, that movie is directed by the guy who directed that movie time crimes that I recommend all the time, because it's awesome. I didn't realize the same director. Time crimes is really good. Yeah. This movie in case you hadn't heard of it is about Anna Hathaway. She's a drunk lady who has, but professionally. Yeah, well, kind of. I mean, that's kind of much. She's unemployed.

She's drunk. Her life is in disarray. She breaks up with her boyfriend or her boyfriend breaks up with her to be more accurate. She moves back on. Boyfriend played by Dan Stevens. Yeah, Dan Stevens of the guest fame. Mm-hmm. And TV's Legion. How the fuck did they not advertise the Beauty and the Beast movie where Dan Stevens plays the beast with be the guest? Because he's the guest and the guest Listeners right in tell me that joke was hilarious Seems like you put your finger on the scale on that one Anyway It seems like you put your finger on the scale on that one. Anyway, so she goes home to her empty parents house and she's living there for a while and she takes up with a bunch of drunk friends, one of them, Jason Sudakas, one of them

is Tim Blake Nelson, one of them is a guy I don't know who the fuck he is, he's just a handsome dude. And she discovers. What does it say, Jim Blake Nelson? She discovers that she has some sort of link to a Kaiju that is destroying South Korea. And it happens whenever she crosses a certain children's park that this Kaiju shows up in South Korea

and just stomps all over a bunch of people and she's obviously just... Sure. At this point, let's take it easy with spoilers because I've seen it. Yeah. Now, tell us the whole movie, Dan. Dig into the box office of what's not a huge budget movie despite its big name stars. I'll just say those extra ticket sales from

it, Daniel. You cherry pop and Danny. It starts off as a we sound so sad about it. But like how dare you pop those cherries, Danny. At long last, sir, have you know cherries unpopped? It starts out as a goofy, sort of wistful comedy about a woman who controls a giant monster. And it turns into a movie about a nice guy or a guy who presents as a nice guy who's actually an abuser and it's sort of a critique of a certain type of male and in that vein it uses Jason Sudakas very well because he can be very charming but the switch to not charming is chilling.

Well that's found like a spoiler. Well my fucking said no spoilers you're like I'm just gonna drive on past that wave I'll just tell you what the twist is dude. All right. Peace a shit if you write I was hoping for fucking Mothra Now it's you hey Dan. I'm gonna see Garden City Galaxy 2 yet either tell me all the jokes you read literally any Fucking review When I want to go see movie I don't read the reviews Dan for that reason You I don't read the reviews when I want to go see a movie. I don't read the reviews, Dan, for that reason. You carry poppies right in until and never has the nickname cherry pop and Danny been so appropriate. Okay, so I think it's time for Paul to jump in. Okay. I'm gonna take guest prerogative and do two very quickly. What?

Yeah, that's right. It's in the rule book. Look it up, motherfucker. Okay, let me look it up. Wow, he's right. I'm wrong, okay, cool. And a dog can play soccer. Good thing I jotted down that rule book no quick before I got here. I'm gonna recommend one of, on any given day, it's my favorite movie or one of my three favorite movies, certainly.

1999, the movie Topsy Turvy by Mike Lee. It's great movie. Okay. 1999 the movie Topsy Turvy by Mike Lee Okay, which is the story of Gilbert and Sullivan Jesus Christ Wait Jesus Christ was in Gilbert and Sullivan. Yes, they wrote Jesus Christ Superstar Oh, and then cats you probably couldn't even have heard that on the podcast, but Stuart dropped a bottle of cap That's why there was an explodive

Oh, you heard it Dan's doing some fully work. Now he has to reenact the drop to make it so he says, before I was so rudely interrupted. It is a story of Gilbert and Sullivan who of course wrote many famous operas in Victorian England the late, not the century century. Upper Eddies. Upper Eddies. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Dan, I'm glad you handled that. So I didn't have to.

You popped that cherry as is your do. It won't allow a lot of, like, I don't wanna say technical words, but it'll want like all the costume awards say. It won't cost you. It won't cost you and make up that year, I believe. And it is, it's roughly the story of the making of the Macado, but it's really about these two creative people and the overall

creative process. It's one of my favorite movies. I think it is the best movie about the creative process, especially a collaborative creative process. Like a show or a TV show, a movie, anything that involves a whole lot of different and sometimes difficult creative people. And for those of you unfamiliar with Mike Lee, he is a director well known for working and having a elaborate rehearsal process with his actors where they do a lot of improv and help flesh out their own characters. And the story, like he comes into a movie mostly with a very rough outline.

And he has a whole stable of actors he works with. And as such, there's tons of really good British character actors in this movie. And all of the characters, even the minor ones, feel real and well fleshed out. Even if they're not on screen for very long, they just, yeah. And there's just such love in the whole movie

for this whole process and these crazy people putting on shows. Yeah, your second recommendation isn't gonna be naked, right? No, it's not gonna be naked. I had a couple to choose from. I'm gonna go with a 2016 South Korean movie called Train to Busan. Oh, sure. I think you guys have recommended.

No. It is a zombie movie. It's a fast zombie movie for those who care about such things. It's not an earth shattering all-time great movie necessarily, but it's a very well-crafted, I think, example of the genre where it introduces a number of characters. The main character is a hard-working South Korean salaryman type who has been kind of neglectful of his daughter. It does the usual zombie movie work of gathering a series of characters in the first 15, 20 minutes and then putting the wheels in motion, the wheels in this case being a zombie outbreak in Seoul and it's surrounding area in Korea. And a whole bunch of people stuck on a train on its way to Busan with zombies, both

off the train and on the train. And it does, it's really well-paced, I thought. It's a very tight clockwork of that type of genre. It keeps things moving nicely. It does a great job, I think, of establishing the geography of the movement. It's nice to have this very set. He, you know, kind of a snowpiercer style

you're on this train, and you're at the back, and you need to get to the front, is the gist of it. But I don't think it does a real good job of making you care about these people as it sets up the dominoes and you see which dominoes fall. Yeah, is that is that still on Netflix? I believe it's still on Netflix. Yeah. It's one of those that I've been meaning to watch for a while and I'm familiar with it, familiar with it enough that when I was bartending one day and I heard some guy describing it to someone else and misremembering the name, I had my face started twitching like Roger Rabbit and Wendy's hearing Shaven a haircut.

And I had to interrupt him and tell him what movie he's talking about. But yeah, I've been mean to see it. Yeah, I do recommend it. I think it's a very enjoyable tight version of this type of movie I'm gonna try to go real fast for it's the mother's day recommendation. Yeah Now it's dead live because of the moms in it. Mm-hmm. It's all about sons love for his mother Yeah, I was trying to think maybe I recommend my mom's favorite movie, which is the stained. Yeah, which is not my, the stained, but that doesn't seem really mom recommended

recently. And Dan recommended recently. And there aren't a lot of like mother, son movies that aren't horror movies, it seems, or Albert Brooks's mother. So I figured, you know what? I'll recommend a movie that my wife, who is a mother, liked recently. As a movie she saw on a plane, so it's a Dan McCoy style movie, and she watched the movie Bad Moms on a flight recently. Thinking, this is gonna be stupid. I'll probably turn it off. I didn't watch it, but she found herself thinking this is a kind of dumb movie, but it actually got to, she was saying a few things about being a mom that she hasn't really seen other movies or TV shows get at the same way,

and apparently she was talking to her mom friends, and they were like, yeah, I thought that movie was gonna be real stupid too, and then like, I liked it a lot more than I thought it would. So I haven't seen it, but if you're a mom, you're looking for a dumb comedy about moms and you think, hey, this one's not gonna be that good, but maybe it'll be a little bit more expected than bad moms. I remember Sharon, I watched that while I was chalking up to the list of movies that I usually put on and I kind of zone out,

but I thought that was, I liked that one better than I expected. And Catherine Hahn is great in it. Catherine Hahn's good. She's like, in a better world, that would have been her star making turn. That would have been her like, Zach Callifianakis in the hangover type turn. In a better world, like she and Judy Greer are starring in movies like.

Oh, yeah. Don't understand how Judy Greer's not starring in more things. It makes no sense to me. But the, but yeah. Because there's not enough ex-wife star characters. Or main characters friend as the main character. So anyway, so that's a recommendation from the most important mom in my life, my wife, to you, any other moms or guys who want to watch moms. Well, that's great. It's really nice that you do a shout out to your wife when she's

never gonna listen to this ever. Uh, because I think about her even when it's not gonna help me in some way. No, that doesn't make any sense. She's half of my soul, guys. Sure. Uh, look, we, I'm not gonna lie to you. This podcast has gone long and we're using a new method to record this podcast, which has been gone long and we're using a new method to record this podcast, which has been problematic.

We're figuring it out still. So we're going to... I mean, the audience listening may not notice that, but we certainly feel it. Yeah, so we're going to cut this podcast short and... It's not short, damn, what are you talking about? I'm going to say short, I'm going to say long. But I just mean we're gonna say goodbye right now. Sitting our primer boxes back and not do some of these bits. So, or the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy.

Hey, oh, um, Stuart Wellington. Elliot K. Litt over here saying, Hey guys, and thanks Paul. Hey, I'll be your new Elliott Kalansoon, Paul. Oh, can I get a real real real quick plug? Yeah, the reason I came here. Not really, but. Dan, you'll just edit this. Yeah, we had the only head, Paul.

This is great. Just add this part. First of all, I'm part of Paul and Storm, comedy music duo. Find us on everything at Paul and Storm. Also, we help run an annual cruise, the Jocco cruise, which is a music company and nerd cruise and nerd. Yeah. Cruise Festival, it's a real good time. We're doing our eighth one, February 18th,

the 25th, 2018. In some ways, it is like a flop house adjacent. Yeah, a lot of people we know are involved on that. And eventually, once you guys show me the right price, maybe it will be flop house, including that off air. But you can go to jokokrues.com. It's run by like we showed you the right price. So what is that paper play? Let's go on here. Totally. A whole bunch of great guests.

Kevin's available now. Kevin's are available now. It is run by Internet Center songwriter Jonathan Colton. Also we run at Paul and Storm and another friend of ours and there's a bunch of great guests comedy music fun the ocean leaves out of San Diego goes down Mexican Riviera go to the website to find out lots more information about it if you listen to this show You would enjoy it. Hey, let's say you're nerd you like funny stuff You're worried about going on a cruise because you don't want people like jox and Making fun of your pale, withered form.

Hey guys, here's a cruise ship just for you. No swirlies are guaranteed. It's a no, 100% no swirly cruise. Well, none of the lovers, son. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Who? Thanks for having us, Paul. Thanks for having me.

This is great. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. We're saying goodbye. Bye. Bye. I love fun. We're saying goodbye. Bye Goodbye, it's on effect Okay, let's try it. Nice fart sounds. The nicest. I want a contest.

Um, better than just coming more than three. Nobody says good things come in three. I just did. Good things come in small packages and deaths come in three. And, uh, good things come to those who wait behind sketch up. Good deaths come in three. And Lord helps those who help themselves. Be in.

I stand corrected. Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture. Artists don't. to help themselves.