The Flop House - Ep. #238 - xXx: The Return of Xander Cage LIVE

Episode Date: August 19, 2017

While Elliott's making the transition into the relaxed SoCal lifestyle, we're running some shows we have in the bank, like this live show from back in the winter, which may have been our best one yet. Meanwhile, Elliott reveals Hitchcock's commercial work, Stuart wants us to know that he can do impressions too, and Dan accidentally says something untoward about his mom. Wikipedia synopsis for xXx: The Return of Xander Cage LIVE SHOWS Sept. 9 – No Elliott, but with Ronny Chieng in New York at the Now Hear This Festival Oct. 8 – The whole gang in Los Angeles, at the Regent Theater Dec. 9 – The whole gang in San Francisco, at the Marines Memorial Theater

On this episode we discuss, triple X, the return of Xander Cage. Live in Brooklyn! Hey everyone welcome to the flop house I'm Dan McCoy. Hey Dan McCoy I'm Stuart Wellington. Hey Dan and Stuart I'm Elliotin, and where are we? We're live in Brooklyn, as Elliot, they're way off into the distance. Oh yeah, all right. Oh yeah, like in the intro. Yeah. I just want to say that Brooklyn audiences.

No, do not. No, stop it. Brooklyn audiences are the closest to my apartment audiences in the whole world. Alright, that's an honest pander. I'm not going to give that pander of a Pinocchio award or a pants on fire or anything. Dan's pandering should be called dandering, right, Elliot? Yeah, because I'm allergic to it. Dan, what are we doing this podcast? On this podcast, we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

Oh, boy. Which we did not do this time. Because this movie rules. Guys. Yeah. Guys, can I just pull back the curtain a little bit and say that this is the first time that we watched the movie all separate from one another? That's true. And it was, it was like that.

Ellie, it was texting me the whole time. I like it. You were texting you? Yeah. Everyone, everyone awed just then as if a baby riding a puppy fell in a woodchipper. Oh no. He started so well and ended so sad. Yeah. There's two there's more than one kind of awe. That's true, we watched it separately this time, so we're gonna be kind of discovering how we feel about this movie together as a group. Yeah, so we didn't influence each other, except for the texts where I'm like, this movie's book and awesome.

And the text that Dan sent us, so that said something like, this is the stupidest movie we've ever watched. So I think we got a real debate on our hands. So since we don't have a lot, as much time as we usually do, because we're in a real place with real people, not Dan's apartment, which is not a real place

that just has a cat in it. A cat that is imprisoned and crying the whole time. Should we just jump into it, just like Zander Cage would? Yeah, got like guys. Just want to ask you. Yes? Where were you when you heard the Zander Cages returning? You know what?

I'll never forget not remembering where I was. When you asked me that question, do you remember? Yeah, I think I was sitting there thinking about how all the movies I want to see are populated with my daddy's secret agents. Oh, yeah. Oh, this one is very much not your daddy's secret agents. Oh, oh. This one is very much not your daddy's secret agent. Unless your dad is Samuel L. Jackson, I guess?

My dad's pretty into, I don't know, vaping and those fidget spinners. No offense. My favorite thing, sometimes about doing the podcast is watching that moment where stewards like gears are turning Where he's like I've committed myself to saying something I got a thing of the reference real quick See guys, I'm pretty good in improv All right, so as mentioned triple X return of zander cage involves the return of that's right your favorite hero from triple X zander cage

These and her cage the zander cage because as this movie shows us this super secret super spy is the most famous man in the world okay but we open with Samuel L. Jackson who in the first movie and second movie recruited the triple X agents he goes into a speech about uh... why because of asymmetrical warfare and the problems of national security in the 21st century, the answer is skateboard.

And it never really makes a lot of sense, but it's all like one shot, right? Or is it not? It's all pretty long time. Oh, it's a Paul Thomas Anderson style of tour de force. Yeah. And I was too busy trying to set up the audio for the movie, so I missed this part. Okay. Well, he explains the guiding principle of the film while trying to sell a soccer, or as they would say in this player's native country, football, star on why he's joined

the Triple X program. The guy says, I'm not a hero, then proves that wrong by stopping a robbery in the restaurant they're in, by kicking a napkin dispenser into the head of the gunman trying to rob the restaurant. It looks like a new action hero has just been launched into the triple X franchise, then a satellite crash is next to the restaurant and they are engulfed in flame. Both of these characters have been given dramatic suicide squad style introductions too. Yeah, with like graphics on screen and text and everything. And like hobbies or to explain to us.

Like slipknot? Yeah. Like every character slipknot. You can climb anything. Yeah, so. That so, uh, that cut to the CIA headquarters, a secret, secure, confidential meeting room, which for some reason has a skylight.

The director of the CIA shows up to a meeting where Tony Collette, who has one of those jobs where she's not the head of the CIA, but she's some kind of like amorphous manager of all spy things, you know. She's entered the Tilda Swinton phase of her career, I think, in this movie. Wow. I mean, she's like the big, like in phase of her career I think in this movie. Wow. I mean she's like the big, the nods of the hotel. And then when she gets older she'll be in the Judy Densch phase where she's like an air elemental in science fiction movies. That's right. That's right. We've heard about Chronicles or Riddick, another Mindy's.

Another Mindy's. Another Mindy's. I'm trying to talk about the D's, which for me usually means Eddie Deezen. But in this case, it's Vin Diesel. And why haven't they made a movie together yet? Where they're like, he's Vin Diesel's dad. It could be a remake of twins, I feel like. It would be a good. Except Eddie Deezen is like 30 years old with the Vin Diesel.

So they can be twins. That's like, do you remember there was that that was that fairly brothers movie about the Symey's twins? And it was like Greg Kenege and stuck thank you stuck on you and I remember with some where their original casting was Woody Allen and Woody Harrelson and the joke was that one of the twins just aging much faster than the other one. That would be so much better than the movie they made. Yeah. I'm stuck on it. Anyway, it turns out there's some kind of super secret spy machine that's crash in satellites

and some kind of super secret terrorist bad guy has it. Luckily, the CIA captured the machine, which is about this, it's like a mother box basically for our fourth world fans out there. But up there... I mean, it's a MacGuffin box is what it is. It's a MacGuffin box, yeah. It's a techno box that does bad things. It mean, it's a MacGuffin box is what it is. It's a MacGuffin box, yeah. It's a techno box that does bad things. It's filled with egg MacGuffins.

Hitchcock was just not trying when he made that movie for McDonald's. Drive through a rear window. It should have been rear drive through window, I know. Jimmy Stewart is working the late night shit. When he thinks he sees a murder committed in a car in the parking lot. I can't even add anything to it. It's too good.

I go. Oh, I have two big Macs. Yeah, per. Yeah, I can do impressions. Why is he ordering when he works there? Because I'm hungry, Ellen? This is like Jimmy Stewart as a Hannah Barbaric character So you know what you know that we don't sell them. I can't order that

It's after 11 We're got how many times do I have to tell you? So that was a 20-page? Anyway, a bunch? Anyway, a bunch of what I can only call leather spies, because they're all wearing leather. Jump in, smash the skylight, kill everybody in the room, except for Tony Colette and... And this scene is great. And this movie is bonkers. Now, it has taken us the movie less time to do all this than it took us to talk about it.

Everything's super fast. It's like they were like, hey, you know the scenes in the middle of action scenes that explain what's going on and why people are doing stuff? I don't know why we need those. So they just run in and steal it. And it's one of those weird things where it's like the room full of the CIA has no security. The security all waits outside. And then when the bad guys rush in,

the security guys run in at one at a time, try shooting the bad guys. The bad guys kill that one security guy. Next security guy steps up. Takes his turn. It's classic ninja tactics. Yeah, but with a gun. I mean, that's the weird thing about it.

Like, can you just, you know, that's just not what a gun is for? I'm led to believe that a gun is a very efficient killing machine. Is that untrue? I mean, triple X returns the intercage but have us believe in not. No.

One extreme sportsman can dismantle any gun that you can handle. I mean, many characters in this movie can just avoid being shot entirely by through their skateboardiness. Yeah, and some of its parkour. And DJ-ness? Yeah, well, we'll get to that. We'll get to that way. Looks like a job for Zander Cage.

Where's he in Latin American country? Was it Dominican Republic? He's, I believe in the DR. He's performing a stunt that involves, that something on a satellite tower, that involves jungle skiing, parkour, and then skateboarding down a road that must go on for a thousand miles.

All of it downhill. Every single person he passes knows exactly who he is and loves him. They could be young little kids, old men driving trucks, and I got to tell you, there's something not that cool ultimately about a grown man hunched over a skateboard. I mean, it's pretty cool. I like that he appeals to all age demographics. Yeah. Everyone knows him and loves him and it turns out it's all to set up a pirate feed of a soccer match for the people who can't afford cable.

Then he goes home and have sex with his model girlfriend, leaves her a skateboard with a posted note on it and he's off to do off to the races. But before that, before the yes sex, like there's a kid who's like, I love you, Zandercage. Yeah, and he's like, you brought the world to us. Yeah. And you remember what Zandercage's advice is? He said something about how the world is in your heart keep it in your heart Yeah, and then you can be anywhere or something

That's a pretty good Vin Diesel impression right there, Elliot Keep it in your heart then you can be open Okay, keep it in your heart That'll be seven ninety eight. Please pull up to the next window. Zander, you can't break your skateboard through the drives rule. We've talked to you about this. But this sets up a theme of the movie, which is everyone in the world fucking loves Zander Cage.

They fucking loves Andercage and they love fucking Zander Cage. but wait, I want to point out one thing so Xander cage He's the rebel spy. He's an extreme sports guy. He doesn't like the man and yet Interesting how what he's done isn't to while he's setting up the soccer and we see guys like pushing loads of salt sweat falling from their brows And it's like hey wait a minute rather than showing the masses who their true enemy is and leading them into an uprising, he's just provided the opiate of professional sports in what I can only call a pantomime of rebellion that misleads the people into thinking they're sticking it

to the man when in fact he's lulling them to sleep. So that tomorrow they can wake up and break their backs in the service of the corporate international megalogopolises. Yeah, who built that skateboard? Yeah, who made that skateboard? Who paved those roads? You didn't build that, Xander? I don't know.

My message is turned 180 degrees. I don't need to pay attention to your ramblings anymore, Elliot. This is Trump's America. You're right. Yeah. Who? Oh, wow. Sad, really. It's like another baby thomad that wood shipper.

No, the president threw a baby in a wood shipper. Anyway. Come me test a bit for testifying about it. And still enough about it. Dan, we're not going to release this episode for a while. People are going to be like, come me. What the hell is that? Was that that African warlord?

Everyone cared about six years ago? Oh. Didn't his show get canceled or something? Stewart, you were going to say something? No, I wasn't going to say anything. Okay, Vin is off on his own, but then he gets framed with a bomb and a bunch of police come after him. Turns out it's all a test from Tony Colette. He knew it was just a test and not fake because he noticed the tiny clues all around him. He's super perceptive. He's like Sherlock just a test and not fake because he noticed the tiny clues all around him. He's super perceptive. He's like Sherlock Holmes on a skateboard,

breaking the rules of Spiderman. They talk about him. And this continues a trope within the Triple X series where he gets stuck in what seems like a dangerous situation, but all the guns are filled with blanks. But not Xander. Xander doesn't shoot blanks. He better hope he is because he goes to London to get a hacker to help him track down these

ghost agents that can't be found who stole what they call the Pandora's Box. And the price for getting that hacker's help, he has to have an orgy with seven or eight women who all keep their underpants on him. But it wasn't even like set up as the price of him getting that information. Like it was weird. And normal, in like a James Bond movie, James Bond has sex with a woman to get her on his side or to get some piece of information.

In this movie, he asked the lady for information. She's like, I'll give it to you tomorrow. In the meantime, he hears eight women. Maybe you would like to have sex with them? That's desinder. She doesn't give them the option. That's true. In some ways, if you read that scene differently,

he was raped by eight women. Like, he's never given the chance to back out. He was smiling. Maybe it was just nervousness, you know? Shhh. He didn't say yes, let's assume, let's not assume, he's in school. I just want you to dig yourself out of this. I'm sorry that I'm looking out for Zander Cage. And I don't want it to be assumed that he is asking for it Just because he's wearing that huge fur coat with just with just a undershirt with no sleeves underneath

So when he when he can dress however he wants to and it's not an invitation When he looks at the camera and says the things I'll do for my country That was really sad that was with a thousand yard stare of a trauma victim. Very sad. Anyway, they find the bad guys living some kind of tropical party criminal islands. And here's something I was wondering. On the meantime, though, Zander has assembled his team. Oh, yes.

Tell me about his team. Do you guys remember the team? Nope. So there's... So, first he meets... There's... He meets Nerdy Spy Girl comic relief. Nope. So there's. So first he meets, he meets nerdy spy girl comic relief. Yes. Okay. Oh, that's the comedy scene where she spends a long time talking about her sexual seaport. Yeah, how she's totally into him and, and I mean, I don't know, it's just like, it's one of those things where it's like, she keeps

coming onto him. He's like, yeah, maybe later. You got glasses or else I do you right now. So that's the subject. Anyway. But his actual team is, he's got the sniper lady. Yeah, she's a hunter hunter. Played by famous androgynous model Ruby Rose. Androgynous? I mean, she's a very attractive boyish lady. I mean, the movie, she's very important.

No, she's known for this. I mean the ring itself out. I don't know. No, she's known for this. I mean, she's never mind. This is like anyway. It's like a whole thing. Each of these people are anti-establishment people. So she's introduced. You think she's about to kill a lion? No. She's shooting at lion hunters and leaves them to limp through the jungle with their knees bleeding to be eaten by a lion, I assume. Who's next? Who's next on the team? So we've got Hunter Hunt. There's the guy who drives the car who is, he likes to crash a lot.

He's a stunt driver, loves to crash. And then there is a DJ. Yeah. And there's no reason given for him to be on this team except for that he is fun. Yeah. No reason. When the band got show up later, he like hits him with his Macbook and throws CDs at you know you haven't seen a more deadly DJ than hell razor three now I was watching this with a friend and she uh... google them and she's apparently a big kpop star okay well that's the thing about this movie was very successful abroad this

movie may is one of the few movies I was reading about it that made a hundred million dollars in China without making a hundred million dollars in the United States And it is a very here's the here's one of the strengths this movie the first strength is it's super dumb The second and it doesn't care the second strength is this is a real like multinational multi-ethnic group like you have a hero group that involves Vin Diesel who is all things to all people. And then you have a couple of couple Asian guys, Indian lady, so forth. There's a lot of emphasis. He ends up not to spoil anything,

but he ends up teaming up who we think is the bad guy played by Donnie N. Who is a huge star. Who's a huge star. And there's a nice Tony John there too. And Tony John is in there. So it's a great diverse team. Yes, anyway, they go to Super Party Ireland and I was wondered in movies,

criminals are always surrounded by partying ladies and bikinis. Is that really what the life of a criminal is like? There's like non-stop bikini ladies everywhere a criminal hangs out. Yeah, it seems like it's an island where after you hit like 35, they just ship you off to a different island. Ha ha ha. The elderly criminal island. Because there's so much of people cheating at backgammon.

Because Vin Diesel's under 35, right? Oh, he's got to be. Oh, sure. He's eternally 29. So anyway, the bad guys are trying it. They're stalking Vin Diesel to this party, but the DJ stops the bad guy with the power of partying. Vin Diesel is 49 years old. What's he doing, skateboard? Is he 49 years old? I think he's 49 years old. Somebody look it up. Thank you. Wow.

Wow. He crowdsourced that answer very fast. A lot of people who are waiting for the day Vin Diesel turns 50. So they can have sex with them? Yes, yes. That's how it works. One thing that we're shown in the plane is a bunch of crazy super weapons. One of them robo fists for super punching. But we won't see those for a while.

Anyway, there's a standoff between Vin Diesel and two of the bad guys with grenades. Anyway, we think they're the bad guys. They want this Pandora's Box that takes down satellites because they think nobody should have this power. Have they destroyed the box? No, they don't want to do that. But, you know, enter a bunch of, I guess, Russian soldiers. There's a big fight.

Zander is just hitting people with a motorboat, motor cross bike. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you said you misspoke, but someone does get hit by a motorboat later on. Yeah, yeah. Well, and also, the bikes turn into water ski bikes

during a chase scene. And then they're just riding through this huge CGI wave. Here's what I learned. I was wondering how they were propelled these water bikes. I mean, because it appeared to be like the wheels were still what was propelling them across the water Yeah, maybe they had rockets. I don't know. There was no rocket to be seen Here's what you need to know in this movie this exists in a world where every mode of transportation turns into every other mode of transportation This is a movie where a guy jumps off of a radio tower with a with skis on

Because a movie where a guy jumps off of a radio tower with skis on manages to land exactly where he has left his ski poles, and then skis through a jungle. And he is jumping through trees and over bushes and stuff across a very multi-leveled topography. He's always got the velocity to keep going forward. Are you just mad because your daddy's secret agent couldn't do that? Yeah, I'm a little mad. The best of my daddy's secret agent could do was it was very unconvincingly ski down a mountain and then he had a parachute with a flag on it. Great. Oh, what a brilliant trick. You printed a flag on your parachute. Roger, more rest in

peace. Well, he's parachuting with the Union Jack in heaven now. And it's like Roger, stay up there. It's great up there. Don't parachute down to this veil of tears. Here's what we all found out. Super surprised. The bad guys are really the good guys that turns out. They've been misused by the real bad guy, the director of the CIA, who's just crashing satellites for.

I don't know. I love the shock noises from the audience the ironic shock noises from the audience it turns out the bad guy, long story short, he's hiding out in Detroit and there's a freeway chase because every action movie has to be freeway chase so when the real it's in Detroit, did either of you guys hope Robocop was gonna show up? oh yeah for sure

for sure, there is no such luck unfortunately, we do get Robo fists Robocop was gonna show up. Oh yeah. For sure. For sure. There is no such luck. Unfortunately, we do get Robo fists. I don't get that's almost as good. So it's like Robocop's hands showed up for the movie. They're like Robocop, we wanna give you $100,000 to do a one minute cameo. He's like, I don't get out of Robo bed for less than 200,000.

I'll send my hands. And they better be shiny when you send them back. Anyway, long story short, in Detroit, there's a lot of talk. And the movie cares so little about the characters' motivations that when the CIA director is explaining why he's crashing satellites, there's actually a lot of chatter between Vin Diesel and another character that just goes over this. So the CIA director is like, you haven't noticed what the world's like today,

and then he's like, we got the shot. I'm almost gone. It keeps going, and then it cuts back to the C.A. director. And that's why the satellites. It's like, not even trying. Now, no surprise, Vin Diesel manages to move one finger just enough to make space for a sniper bullet to kill the C.A. director.

Oh, he's so good. And now, the movie doesn't seem to realize the director of the CIA director. Oh, he's so good. And now the movie doesn't seem to realize the director of the CIA is a pretty public position. And that guy can't just get killed by a sniper bullet in a rundown Detroit building without some kind of repercussions. Like that's going to be in the newspapers. Wait, that's your complaint. It's not that Vin Diesel can effortlessly do the trajectory. Yes, I said Vin Diesel. It's him, not Zander Cage.

He can do the trajectory for the sniper bullet so it goes perfectly between his fingers. Like, how does he know exactly? I don't know. Look, he's triple-life. That's how he knows exactly where the bullet's gonna go. Now it's, uh-oh, everyone's versus, and Tony Colette turns out she's the real bad guy now. Does she want to use the Pandora's Box for, I don't remember, what was it? I don't, they want to, they want to surveil everyone basically is the thing. So if they can control every satellite, they can keep tabs on everyone. Yeah, so we can't be free anymore.

Oh yeah, so it's all about freedom. This is a movie that it's weird. It's a movie that is being made at a weird time, because it's very like anti-surveillance. I'm sure we're all against that. There's a scene where she's like, this is the team of army men you're going to be teamed up with.

And he's like, hey, nice to meet you. And then he kicks them out of a plane. And it's like, and it's one of those movies where it's like, there's a time in American history when like an anti-establishable movie could easily throw army men out of a plane, and the audience would be like, yeah. But I feel like that's not the place soldiers have

in our minds right now. So there was a part of me where it's like, I know those soldiers are supposed to be like hardasses who won't do things the Vin Diesel way. It still rubs me the wrong way that he just threw like five American soldiers off a plane. And he's the hero of the movie. I'm not imagining a book that's called

Do Things The Vindies Away. What's in that book? Lay it out for a spitch at you, man, publisher. Okay, well, I'm a busy man. Imagine you start the day off with a very woman- A carnful of riots. You start the day off with a carnful of riots. Okay, a cart, like a shopping cart full of riots. A car the cart full of rags. Okay.

A cart, like a shopping cart full of rags. A cart, shopping cart full of rags. Okay. And then a nice steam. Don't have to do a hairbrush. So it's just a daily routine. It's not like how to get out of a situation. No, it's not exciting.

Okay. It's not like how to solve your problems the vindies away. It's just how to live exactly like he does. Yeah, exactly. And he starts his day with a steam. He starts his day with a steam, and he ends his day with a shower, it's weird. Okay, so he's just sweaty all day.

He's sweaty. He likes to get sweaty, and then he puts on his giant coat. So he wears, if there are people enough familiar with the triple X wardrobe. He wears a big furry coat, not unlike sabertooths in the first X-Men movie. Yep. Or what I imagine the coat Terry Gilliam was wearing when he met the other pythons for the first time. It's supposed to be the coolest thing you've ever seen.

The coat. Yeah, you're supposed to be like, he goes, I know where my coat is, and the audience is supposed to be like he goes I know where my code is and the audience supposed to be like The coat we're talking about the coat. You're gonna get the coat guys. I got second billing in this movie Guys, do you think Vin Diesel sleeps in a bed that shaped like a race car? Stewart Stewart I'm gonna tell you the truth He doesn't sleep in a bed shaped like a race car. He sleeps in a race car made into a bed. What? Because that's the Vin Diesel way I'm buying the book It's gonna be a huge release anyway at this point. It's just everybody versus the US government

Including the the nerd girl who was his tech support. guess you just resigned from her job i don't know and they send a bunch of uh... i mean vindies will is he goes on the plane with them yes he's captured but they said a bunch of he and it man are kept yeah yeah it man from the movies oh wait what kind of man an it man, okay, yeah Yes, the powers of an if yes anyway But they send a team of killers and to kill the rest of the team

America troops, but yes in this movie their portrayal is killers. Yeah, and all these all this whole team is like X's They're like they're all they're all, they're all part of it. They all used to be married. They're all, it's a very complicated relationship. Because they've got to watch each other's backs. But it's like, where were you when we were having real trouble? They're all, they're all part of the Triple X team. So they've all, they've all proven themselves to be the sort of person that could,

Oh, that's right. The ghost agents that they were chasing, it turns out, were also recruited by Samuel Jackson to be the sort of person that's right the ghost agents that they were chasing it turns out We're also recruited by Samuel Jackson to be triple X agents So what makes you a ideal candidate for the triple X program? You better be good at an extreme sport Okay, for instance the main woman from the ghost agents who becomes Vin Diesel's romantic interest She talks to hit they have a classic tattoo trading scene where they each got tattoos from Yeah, it's a rip off of jaws. They're just showing their different tattoos as if it's scars. Yeah, and she talks about how she climbed up the the London Eye naked,

and she got thrown in jail for tagging a building. The tag was 30 stories tall, and they all have these like extreme things they did. Which makes them work. They put secret agents. Yeah. Like, they use us or tagging powers, I guess, for... Dan, they do things differently than your daddy's soup. I was like, I was like, I'm a super hero. Yeah, your daddy would have only made a five-foot tall tag. Your daddy would have climbed the London Eye with climbing ropes.

My daddy put Turk-182 everywhere, and that's no good. No, no. There's no one in the audience who knows Turk-182. All right. Oh, they got it, and then they rejected good. No, no. There's no one in the audience who knows Turk 182. All right. Oh, they got it, and then they rejected it. All right. OK, so there's like 15 different heroes involved in six different super battles right now.

And it's all guns and punches. We finally get to see the soldier who is a real mean guy to Vin Diesel using the RoboFists. But Vin Diesel keeps dodging them. So he's just punching out view screens on an airplane. I love that shit though, when he finally punches through the airplanes toilet, and then Vin Diesel kind of stuffs him through the toilet,

and it's like shining like the TV from Poltergeist. And then it immediately cuts to an explosion on the ground. That is filmmaking, Ellie. Oh, it's like, I'm pretty good with stimulant, like stimuli from a movie. But I was pretty good with stimulant. I was pretty good with stimulant. Okay. My heart would explode.

I'm pretty good with stimuli from a movie, but I was so over like loaded from this, and it was like, I can't figure out what's going on, I don't know what's going on. I need to watch like, at daughters of the dust after this this I need something so totally different. Yeah, just the exact Flutter Ozu DVDs. Yeah, I got to watch Tokyo story after this just to come down from this old from like it's like I got oh deed on a triple X. That's a lot of letters. Anyway The guys on the ground who are not Vin Diesel they run out they run out of bullets, uh-oh, looks like it's done for them. I guess they're dead. But then who steps in, Dan?

Uh, what's his face? Ice. What's his face? What's his face? I know the actor, IceQ, but I don't know what his name is. His name is Darius Stone. All right. And that's right.

Dan, you're still in. I will say when he shows up, when he showed up, we're watching this in the bar last night and the entire bar burst into tears. So. I have to admit, I have to admit, I skipped music, not really my kind of music, second trip likes movie. I've never seen it, but when he showed up,

I was like, shit, I was cubes in this movie. Yeah. And I will say, that's a movie working. When a character you don't know shows up, and you're like, I know he, shit, I was cubes in this movie. Yeah. And I will say, that's a movie working. When a character you don't know shows up and you're like, I know he's important, this is great. You like, you called your wife over to be like, honey, honey, I was cubes in this. It just spit out her goger or whatever she was drinking.

She's not here, right? She's not going to be mad at me. She is, oh, yeah, please. Anyway, it was like I was watching a Spider-Man movie and Darth Vader showed up. I was like what? Which they're both owned by the same company, they can do that now. They did an X-Men Star Trek crossover, why not? Anyway, so anyway, basically everybody wins in the end.

Tony Colette gets pushed out of a plane. Those other guys get pushed out of planes. But she's activated the Pandora device. A satellite is falling. They've already landed one on... Whoever the first one was. I don't even remember where that was. Somewhere in America or somewhere.

They've landed one in Russia in Moscow. Now this one's about to hit Detroit. Oh, not Detroit. No, they're already dealing with so much. Xander realizes there's only one that he can do. He's got to aim this plane at that satellite because he's already killed everybody else on it. Now this plan, I don't feel like Xander

has thought this through because- How could he think it through? He has a split second decision to stop a satellite. He is adding plain debris to satellite debris at the point. Good point. And you know what? That's a very good point. He has just enough time.

Oh, Stuart just stood up. Uh-oh. He has just enough time to utter his second catchphrase. I live for this shit. No wait, hold on. Stuart, what would you classify as his first catchphrase? Okay, you got to stand up again. Sit up for the full power.

The things I do for my country. Okay, I would totally flip those. I would flip those in the ranking. Anyway, it totally works. He slams a plane into a satellite, jumps out in time to land on a pallet, activate the parachute on the pallet. That pallet hits the ground with what looks like the force of a hundred-h bombs.

Yeah. And yet, he's totally fine. He doesn't get a hang now from that. Yeah. He walks away, everything's cool. They even got it on camera on the on his phone So they can they can upload it to ebombs world to people still watch videos on that I Don't know what you put your extreme sports videos

And they but they save a little moment right are you talking about the the moment where ice cube shows up and Ice cube returns Zander's card to him, which and says any an opportunity to look with that represents the franchise. Oh, and ice cube says an opportunity to work with the great Zander cage and I can only imagine ice cube was like, I've got a fucking pretend Vin Diesel is my hero. Like I'm Ice Cube. I've got to pretend this guy is the coolest man I've ever met. That must have been a real, at that point Ice Cube dug deep and found the humility that I know he returns too often. And what, and which makes him a strong individual. Yeah. Because truly it's the strong man who can bow and not lose faith in himself. Yeah. I mean, I'm not sure that the star of R.E. there yet was that sad about casting a paycheck.

That's the kind of humility I'm talking about. Anyway, cut to Samuel Jackson's funeral. We hear a lot of gospel singing and a surprisingly white audience at this funeral. I was very distracted. I was watching. I was like, who are these people? Are they all co-workers of Samuel Jackson? Yeah. And here's where the movie, which I'll remind you. So the camera pans up into the balcony and we see Zander Cage sitting up there alone, of course, sleeveless.

Sleeveless. In church? This is the funeral for a man. He has talked about the entire movie as a mentor, father, elder brother, and God. All rolled into one. As far as he knows, this man is dead. They will never share a moment together.

They will never speak together again. He will never feel his hand when they shake hands. He will never catch a glimpse of him from across the room. And I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, his memories. I'm not expecting him to show up wearing a tie or a bow tie. His neck's not me for that. Oh, but at least, at least tear up that parachute you rode down on and make some sleeves out of it. Cover your arms or else you just show them off because you hope maybe someone in the choir is going to notice. And you can go home with them, Zander.

But anyway, so here's a movie that's shown us a lot of things. It's shown us a man hit a satellite with a plane. It's shown us robo fists that super punch. It's shown us bikes that turn into water ski bikes. It's shown us bikes that turn into water ski bikes. It's turned us to show us jungle skiing It's shown us a man who kicks a napkin dispenser into a robber's head and now it goes to the least believable thing in the movie because as he's sitting up there in the in the balcony and I said to the movie I was watching don't do this movie

Because the perilously stretched the implausibility of this film will snap. Who pulls a fucking Tom Sawyer, but Samuel L. Jackson, who walks out and watches his own funeral. Because sure, everyone thinks that Ingenzo killed Tom in the caves. Because a satellite exploded next to him. Sam Jackson says, you think you're the only one who can fake your own death? And I'm like, you didn't know a satellite was going to come down and blow up next to you. Which we saw on camera.

It's not like he looked the sky and we cut away and there was a big explosion from far away. We saw his body engulfed in flame. We saw the windows burst in. So he's getting lacerationed in flying. We saw the windows burst in. So he's getting laceration wounds in addition. He is none the worse for where. And anyway, that's kind of the end of the movie. Yeah. Like what happens? He's just like encouraging. And it's just keep on keeping on, man. Yeah.

He told them to keep looking dope. Right. Does he just show up at the end to be like, hey, I really like he's an intercage. I have to assume that- And the words of Carly Ray Japson, I really, really, really, really, really like you. Oh, that's what they were quoting? Yeah, that's that was it. Oh, wow, I didn't realize that. I have to assume that there's some claws

in Samuel Jackson's contract that I, that was like, I can't realize that. I have to assume that there's some clause in Samuel Jackson's contract that I, that I, that was like, I can't die in a movie. The same way that Bruce Lee, when he was Cato on that episode of Batman, they were like, now Robin's gonna beat you in a fight and he was like, that is not gonna happen. There's no way Burt Ward is gonna defeat me in a televised fight. I have to assume, St. John Jackson was like, I'd die in this movie? No, we're reshooting the end. Yeah.

But we should move on to our final judgments. Is this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie we kind of like... Ellie, what do you have to say? Don't go first? Yeah. Because I may shock the audience. All right. Barring the section in the middle and the beginning of Act 3, where I was so overloaded with things, I could no longer perceive reality.

This was a movie I kind of liked. It is so incredibly dumb. There were times when I was like, am I seeing the tango and cash for the 21st century? Unfold before my eyes? And I wasn't, but it got pretty close. Yeah, I mean, my feeling watching it was, I either wanted it to be a little less dumb or a lot more dumb. But I have to say, on the sliding scale of flop house films, I mean, you have to understand, we've been driven mad by doing this for a decade.

Our standards are very different from the normal viewer. Yeah, although I think cinema score gave this an A minus. So. Don't run out and see it, but I kind of like it too. I kind of like it too. I like it too. I'm going to say run out and see it. Now, I think this movie's super dumb and super fun.

Like it gets so close to the moment where a bad guy could say, I told you not to let him get on that motorbike. And there's a DJ character who does start hitting people with DJ equipment. It's so good. Man, it's the dumbest thing. It feels a lot like, it reminds me of seeing the transporter movies for the first time being like, these are so dumb but still really great. I will say that the one problem, well not the one problem, what the fuck am I talking about?

Otherwise, flawless. The biggest problem I have with the film is I feel like Vin Diesel is the least charismatic one of all of them. Oh, yeah, in many ways. Which is why they have to keep saying like how awesome he is every time he walks on screen. It's a movie. A movie can, a movie character can be judged

by how often the other characters have to remind you they're supposed to be cool. And if they do it a lot, there's a problem with that character. But I mean, like, if you start a movie with an action scene with Boat Tony John and Donnie in, you're off on the right foot. Like, it's great. Oh, for sure. There's that scene where Tony John kicks that dude off of the motorcycle and then lands on the motorcycle and derives it.

It's amazing. Oh man. the motorcycle and then lands on the motorcycle and drives it. It's amazing. Oh man. It's like this is the movie Suicide Squad should have been. Like this is the ideal version of Suicide Squad except that I guess none of them die at the end. Except slipknot. All right, P. All right, P. Slipknot. I'm sorry, Stuart, I know it's hard for you. The life of a slipknot.

A slipknot. That's me, a slipknot. That's what we call ourselves, Dan. That was an old, that was an old Conan O'Brien bit. I saw them perform that live at a taping Conan. Talking about slipknot? Slipknot was the band playing that day. And so they did a bit called the slipknot where...

No, this is just a podcast where we describe it on a Ryan's show. This is a conversation I'm working on a show right now where the head writer is Brian McCann who's a long time Conan Guy. And I was asking him today, I was like, were you in the slipknot and he's like, I wasn't in that, but I remember that bit and he they wants to open for slip knot and he said they're performing for like a stadium of people booing because it's just guys singing about how they're slipping on peanut shells Hi I'm comedian Emily Heller and I'm cartoonist Lisa Hannah Walt, and we're the host of Baby

Geniuses. Do you want to learn weird new facts? Do you like hearing successful creative women talk about their poop? Do you want the scoop on Martha Stewart's pony? If you answered yes to any of these questions, our show is for you. We interview people like Paul Liff Tomkins, Kristen Shaw, Michael Chey, and more, so check us out on Maximum Fun. And let us mess up your brain. Yes, please

Mugs shirts stickers patches tanks and more are yours for the purchasing at maxfunstore.com Hey, you already love the podcasts So why not take this to the next level and outfit your home and bud with our merch. maxfunstore.com, because if you have to wear a shirt, it should be one of ours. Hey guys, it's Dan again, flying alone again, I mean to say, sorry about that, it's a live show, so you know what that means. We weren't all in the same room together to do the ads

because we didn't want to bore the live audience with ads. We only want to bore you the listener at home with ads. So enjoy these ads. I'm sure that our sponsors will love that we said bored with ads. But first up, we've got Blue Apron sponsoring the podcast yet again. Thank you to Blue Apron. It's the service that brings you pre-pourish and ingredients and a box to your home. Every day that you decide to have it come, not every day that you decide to have it come,

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to blue aprons dot com slash flop house. That's blue apron dot com slash flop house. And we've got a new sponsor on the show. I'm very excited about this one. Now listen, if you've come to a live show, you know that I'm a bit of a close horse. I'm a horse that wears clothes. That's right. I've been keeping it secret all these years.

But I'm actually a sea biscuit, the world's most popular horse, and I love clothes. Gotta go buy some! But I'm excited about this next sponsor because they are a clothing help service. They help you find good clothes to wear. And certainly early in my clothes buying career, this thing would have been a boon to me. A boon. It's bomb fell. Bomb fell is an easier way for men to get better clothes. You pay nothing when you sign up because there are no fees to work with them. You only pay for the clothes you keep. And bomb fell is the

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That's B-O-M-B-F-E-L-L.com slash flop house for 25% off. And we've got a jumbo tron. This one is from, this one is for Aiden and it's from Alex. And it says, I can confidently say I fell in love with you because of your goddamn incredible laugh. The first time I heard it, we were on the same train, not together. And you were laughing out loud to a podcast you were listening to with headphones on. I thought you were insane. I still kind of do. Keep laughing, AIDS. Happy 23rd birthday. Keep laughing, AIDS. That's A-I-D-Z. Not keep laughing, the disease, AIDS. That would be terrible. That would be a weird message for you to slip in in the middle of this wonderful declaration of love. But it sounds like Alex loves you a lot, Aiden. So congratulations on that. Hey guys, we got some live shows coming

up. The first one is the, now here this festival. It's, um, I'm going to take place at the Javits Center and beautiful New York City on September the 9th, I believe I'm looking it up. That's why he's here to be stalling because I lost the piece of paper that had that piece of information on it. Uh, yes, September the 9th. There's no Elliott in that show, but Ronny Chang of the Daily Show will be filling in for him. And, but if you want to see the whole gang, you've got two chances for that, especially if you live on the West Coast.

On October 8th, that's a Sunday. We'll all be in Los Angeles at the Regent Theater. Visit it, Elliot, and it has a new hometown. And in December, on December the 9th, that's a Saturday, we will be in San Francisco at the Marines Memorial Theater. So please, tickets are available. You go to our website. We have links up. Yeah, tickets are available. You go to our website. We have links up.

Yeah, check us out. But now back to the live show of today, Zander Cage. Anyway, Dan, we should move along, right? Yeah, we should move along to the next part of the podcast, which is where we're going to answer some questions from audience members. There is a microphone set up right over there So I hope that people who are far away if you're interested. Oh, what?

You can go that way. I don't know what the best route is It's a crowded room now. Elliot. Do you want to give your thing up front? Or do you not want to be mean? I don't want to be mean so I'll say it as nicely as I can Everybody wants their moment in the sun Sometimes that needs being in a viral video, sometimes that means killing Shelley Winners, you can marry Elizabeth Taylor. But here's the thing. We want to keep this moving along pretty quick.

We want to respect everybody's chance to get up there. We're looking for real questions. And not, you know, we've all been to Q&A's where somebody rambled on. So here's the rubric to keep in your head. I wanna ask them a question. If I wasn't me, and I was hearing someone else ask this question, would it interest me?

And if the answer is no, think of a different question or sit down, so I'm sorry, got a little, it got a little me at the end, I apologize. That's not really the end. I apologize That I've played that cop I've spent enough time seeing people ramble on and on to Woody Allen about how much they love his movies as if Woody Alan's gonna say stick around after the show so we can be best friends Okay, so Dan what are you gonna say good job? I was gonna say go ahead Hello, my name is Bobby, last name withheld. Hi, Bobby.

Thanks for coming. The current state of movies is Expanding Universes, the new hit thing. So if you can make an expanded universe of only Oscar-winning best picture films, who would be the hero, who would be the villain, and who would be the funny minority sidekick? Oh, from different best picture-winning movies. and who would be the funny minority sidekick? Oh, from different best picture-winning movies, the question, your best picture extended cinematic universe, who are the characters, Hero, Villain, Funny, Sidekick?

Ooh, well, your villain's got to be, I guess, Ray Fines from Schindler's List. Because it doesn't get more evil than him. No, I'm more villain-less. But your hero, for me, Jack Lemon in the apartment. That's a hero villain imbalance. How's he gonna get out of that one? I don't know.

Luckily, we got William Goldman and David Mammoth on the case. But who, Dan, what are you thinking? This question is predicated on me being able to remember best picture winners. All right, Stuart, who do you think? LAUGHTER Uh, DeGladiator win best picture? It did.

We live in a universe where that happens. LAUGHTER So I didn't like that one. How about, uh, did Crash win best picture? Which one? Which Crash? Which Crash? Cronenbergs didn't win. Did not, right? OK. OK. about uh... did crash win best picture which one which crash which crash chrome and birds didn't know

okay the other one is racism right yes bad guy of the cinematic is what like it is it racism the concept or a person that embodies racism like the hate monger uh... i mean i don't know you see your imagination dude i'm just thrown out ideas all right and so for goofy side yet on a say I mean, I don't know, use your imagination, dude. I'm just throwing out ideas. I'll say. All right. And so for goofy side, gig-honnessy, Kevin Spacey,

the dad from American Beauty. And here's the thing. Every time Jack Lemon in my version is like, we've got to go, we're late. And Kevin Spacey's just masturbating in the shower. I think we can move on. Yeah, we saw that one. Good question. Max, last saw that one. Good question.

Max, last name withheld. Stuart, from over there, I couldn't tell what your shirt was. From over here, it's just as ridiculous. Thank you. Stuart, do you want to explain your shirt to the listeners at home? I guess I'm wearing a t-shirt that has my friend's dog on it and it says Foxy. Which is the name of the dog. Yeah, Foxy. Foxy, Foxy, Foxy, which is the name of the dog. Yeah, Foxy. Foxy. Foxy. Foxy. Foxy. Foxy. We don't have time for that. I'm gonna go slight. It's so easy.

Yeah, slightly extended universe here too. If you were in this movie and the only lines Vin Diesel could say where I am Group without have affected the movie at all or is the movie Is the movie so simple that it really doesn't matter that he could only say that? I don't know, what do you think, Dan? I think the movie can only be improved by Vindiesel saying the words I am Groot over and over again, especially at the scene where he has sex with those eight women.

I try and think that I am Groot. Dan, you are kidding yourself. If you don't think women make Vindiesel say I am rude. Dan, you are kidding yourself. If you don't think women make vindies, they'll say, I am rude while they make love. I would. Yeah, fair point. Next question, please. Hi fellas, Seth last name withheld.

Hey Seth. There's been a lot of discussion tonight about our daddy's spy. Sure. Which is a great name for tonight about our daddy's spy. Sure. Which is a great name for a movie or a heartbreaking memoir. I figured out from context clues that we might be referring to James Bond. And so, so many spy movies.

You could be a spy. So many spy movies define themselves define themselves as well like not being james bond but what aspects of james bond movies do you think more spy movies should take they should take not shouldn't yes because i've an answer for shouldn't but i'm not sure about should the shouldn't would be the misogyny but anyway but that or steward what's great about James Bond?

Well, I love that they all start media res. I'm a sucker for that shit. You love in media res. Like boom, smash cut, you're in the action. Now Dan, you like fancy clothes. Yeah, that's a good one. Let's go. I was really going through it all.

I'm like, I don't like the gadgets, because the gadgets make it too easy for him to... You don't like the gadgets, dude? Well, I guess I'm not getting... There's so much fun! You're birthday present of Inspector Gadget, the complete series. I guess I'll just throw that in the trash.

He's an entire man who's a gadget, Dan. I'll have to get you the Inspector Gidget, please. Now, without Inspector Gidget, there would be no penny meeting dinosaurs. That's right. That's true. Now, has Inspector Gidget- That's sparing. Has Inspector Gidget- The brain been removed? They got to make room for that propeller.

This. Yeah. I just wondering what's going on up there. Dan, brain is the dog? Oh, I get it now. And I would say the song, Live and Let Die, should be in all spine movies. Next question, please. Anne Marie, last name with held.

Hi Ann Marie. Well a lot of Parkinson's out here. Yeah so my dad is actually like obsessed with Triple X so I guess it is my daddy's spy. He loves Triple X. It's pretty cool. Louse Triple X my sister says it's because of the heroic baldness. So I would say what movie do you or your loved ones love for unbaffling reasons?

Hmm. Baffling reasons. Baffling. I mean, my dad likes any historical military movie in which people line up and shoot at each other in a... He loves movies where... Like Zulu and Zulu Dawn. Or like the Patriot. Every movie he's like like Zulu and Zulu Dawn or like like the Patriot

Every movie he's like back. Yeah, that's like a good movie. They just stood there and no no That's what I'm saying is they're not good movies But if you have two people who you have two rows of people firing muskets at each other without moving around That's a that's a movie from my dad And he'll just tell me how the costumes looked authentic My parents have generally terrific taste, but they are... Especially in sons. Aww.

Yeah, they like the other ones better. And that's why we call them Silver Lining Dan. This is not a movie, but so there's such anglophiles that they like anything British no matter what it is. So I remember growing up on PBS my mom watching are you being served all the time? Which has like the dirtiest jokes about the woman having to go home and take care of her pussy. Which in the in the in the context of the thing is talking about a cat, but there's so many fucking pussy jokes in that and my mom would eat it up.

Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. I think I'm going to throw up. Daniel? Yeah. Daniel, yeah Dan is collapse on the floor. Dan has collapsed So did we say Dan you're lucky. I don't have my family swords with me Or else you would be committing Sepico right now Now did we say inexplicable reasons because my father's reason for liking dancing at the blue iguana is very explainable. You know it's a sad story that for my understanding was mainly improv of different women who act as exotic dancers at

the club, the blue iguana, and it stars his personal favorite, Daryl Hanna. When I found that DVD box on the shelf turned backward, so there was just a blanking DVD thing. Very smart. Very smart. That's smart. Why is there a blank DVD box in between third rock from the sun seasons? I finished season two. Before I jump to season three, should I check out this middle box? Maybe Tommy cuts his hair. Who knows? And three, should I check out this middle box? Maybe Tommy cuts his hair, who knows?

And my parents also have an obsession with my dad loves corner gas, the Canadian comedy show. And he also got really into Cirque de Soleil one year and got us all Cirque de Soleil DVDs for Christmas. I'm pretty sure he doesn't listen to this or else he would be sad. We'll find out. Let's move on to the next question for we say more terrible things about our parents. Hey guys, this is Benjamin last name with health. Hey Benjamin. Hey, Ben. Local celebrity Benjamin. So, in honor of all the wonderful time

that Elliot has spent with us here in the city of New York, I wanted to ask a question, specifically about that, what, if you had to select one movie that you think most accurately depicts your experience with this city, what movie would you pick? Oh, that's a good question. That's a good question. Very good question. I'm gonna jump in my answer is cocktail, baby. Petring Elliott's favorite song, Kokomo. Oh god damn it Dan. Don't even place the idea of that song in my brain. Now of course I wish for me the answer was T.O.P.123 taking a poem one two three but unfortunately I did not grow up when New York was a hellhole. I don't know I'm gonna have to think about that one. I know probably

Mubbets take Manhattan. Yeah you've taken Manhattan by storm you You're your your alive performer. Mm-hmm And I'm where I'm finally gonna put on my big Broadway show. Somebody's getting married Somebody's getting married. I remember how the song went. It goes somebody somebody They're clearly putting on the worst Broadway show in that Like and the bottom the plot of it appears to just be that somebody's getting married. Yeah, so it's just go like I mean, it's basically my big-facc Greek wedding Mama Mia, mama Mia, same. I don't care. Anyway, I'm leaving this bullshit city. I don't need to know about that stuff I think that Brooklyn audiences are the closest audience to me.

Come on. Good say. You guys know I'm just lashing out because it's going to be a little difficult for me to leave a place that I've lived a long time and that when I was a kid I dreamed of living in and now I'm somewhat tired of and we'll move on. Let's move to the next person and we're running long time. I can only imagine that Elliott already has a map of LA on his bedroom wall with Popeye's location circled.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't researched it a little while. Hi, I'm Joe, last name withheld. I do. I'd like to play some radio zork. Oh boy, everybody. Oh. All right. Brave man.

From the previous players have not been that lucky. Yeah. So to reestablish the situation, you're at the door. And I would like to choose option C, check the handle. OK. OK, interesting the handle. OK, OK, interesting. The hang you wiggle the handle? It appears to be locked.

The room seems to be occupied. Oh, something new has been added. Well, the mystery deepens, thank you. Yeah, thank you very much. That was a good move. That was a good move. OK, we're going to cap that question line. I don't know if we're going to get to everybody, hopefully.

Anyway. Hi, my name is Kenzie, last name withheld. My question is Oprah and the rock have both talked about running for president. Who based on persona, charisma and taste, would you say would be a good leader for our country in the future? Who will be the leader or who who will be elected? Kelly. Oh, that's... I don't care.

OK, because when it comes to who, I mean, one of them is a warm, comforting figure who has enriched the lives of millions, but she's a woman. So... Electability is an issue. Dan, what do you think? Who would be better? Oprah or the rock? And Stuart, who do you think would be better be better, Oprah or the rock?

And Stuart, who do you think would be better? Actually, I'm working on Stuart's second. The fact you're into it, Elliott. What? Does wrestling ability matter? I'm just saying, who's Putin gonna respect more? That's true, probably Oprah. Now, yeah.

Politically, I think I'd go with Oprah, but on the ability to bounce a barrierrioff of his peck muscles, I'd have to go with a rock. Fair though. Yeah, we know Oprah could be great at that. They did that in one take, Dan. One take. That's where the barrioff the peck.

That's why they call them one take rock. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, here's me pandering. Either one would be doing a better job than the current guy. Woo! But you could say that about anyone in this room. Anyone in this city knows he's not in it. I said even Joe and I pointed over here in the hopes that there was someone named Joe

over there that thought that I was talking about the person. Anyway, thank you for the question. I feel like we didn't really answer if that's okay. Moving on. Hi, Jonathan, last name with how everyone has a trope in movies that they really hate, has a director ever done that trope in a way or subverted it that you actually liked? Or if you can't think of that, do you have a vision in your head for how that trope could be done

while that you would enjoy it? Oh, boy. It's all the good questions that are hard to answer. Yeah, that's true. Usually like us. I really don't like it when movies start with a voiceover explaining all kinds of bullshit and prophecy, but that ownership of the ring has a great opening. That's it.

It's great. Go watch that. I'll tell you something I don't like in trailers. That's it. It's great. Go watch that. I'll tell you something I don't like in trailers. I'm going to fudge the rules a little. Is when they cut together montage of people saying the main character's name, as if that means the character's super exciting. Like all these people are talking about Hudson

Hawk. He must be the coolest guy in the world. But the counter point is what trailer has done that well. I know. And you can't say Hudson Hawk. No, I can't. So I think I know. And you can't say Hudson Hawk. No, I can't. So I think I'm just going to have to say, I mean, I kind of think the baby driver trailer does that well,

where they just say baby a bunch. OK, I could see that. Well, at least that is that. Because it's got my boy, it's well-door to that. Wait, is he here? I reserved a seat for him. I didn't come. I bet there's a way to do it where the people, yeah, maybe that's the best one. Wait, is he here? Did he, I reserved a seat for him, I didn't come.

I bet there's a way to do it where the people, yeah, maybe that's the best one, where it sounds exciting, like who is this character rather than like, yeah, they say his name a lot in the movies and make character in the movie. Dan. We gave you time, Dan. I can't think of anything.

Can I sing a song and Lou? No, next question, please. We don't have time for songs. That's why I didn't sing one. All right. It's... Or will... Oh, please. We don't have time for songs. That's why I didn't sing one. All right. It's, or we'll, uh, no, we don't have time. Move it along. We don't have time.

This is about efficiency now. It's me. It's Liz. Last name with hell. Very Liz. That is. I wasn't going to ask a question, but the person I was seeing in next to who I don't think I don't remember

meeting asked me to do a story. Are you the Liz? Who asked all the questions were in the live show? And I said, think I don't remember meeting S.M. Dr. Mendoor's tour. Are you the Liz? Who asked all the questions in the video? The last show and I said yes. OK, so here are a couple of years ago. Netflix miscategorized J.A.F.R.K.N.S. modern horror classic, The Boba Duke, as an LGBT movie. Now, since then, I know right?

Well, yeah, you're exactly. Questively. So since then, The Boba Duke himself I know right well yeah you're exactly Quest please So since then the Babadou himself has emerged as an icon of the gay community So I thought who better to ask than three straight men? Who is going to be the next big gay horror icon? Oh good question I'm gonna tell you I I think it's gonna be... Before that stovepiped daddy.

So piped daddy. They call him Apes in the community. Before the Boba Duke, it was what, Freddie from Nightmare and Elm Street, thank you for the company. The second being specifically. Yeah. And I mean, like the synabytes are kind of into that, like a whole leather scene a little bit.

They're kind of pansexual. Yeah. Yeah. Leather is equivalent to homosexuality. Yeah. That's a stereotype we can play in too short, Mr. Cruzen. Anyway. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say. I just know. I just know. My experience of homosexuality comes from police academy movies.

I'm gonna say that this current universal reboot of the monster universe is gonna fail. And the next one, which hopefully I will have something to do with, will finally involve the gay Dracula that America has needed for so long. And he's gonna be so, he's gonna be so incredibly sexy, but he's still gonna be Dracula. Dracula's have so much appeal, Elliot, because they appeal to olds, because they get to imagine like,

I get to be old and I look young and hot. But for the young folks, they're like, I get to be like me, young and hot, but I'm smart and experienced and old. Yeah, and people are like, I want to earn one of those medals he's wearing around his neck. I think we may just have room for one more. I think one more question. I'm sorry, we're sorry for everyone who got.

Apologies, we're running tight unfortunately. There's a complaint to Dan over Twitter? I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what. At this came a boy. If you, if you four people who are waiting in line, aren't going to get a chance, send an email to the flop house email thing, make sure to note that you were here and didn't get your question asked, and we'll try

to answer them. Yeah, I will make that promise right now. We'll make that priority over. Put it in the subject line. It's not the same I know, but we'll try to try to guess what your voices sound like, and Dan will read it, Mom. It's not the same I know, but we'll try to try to guess what your voice is sound like and Dan will read it like that. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, pocket square stuff.

Anyway. So last question, a lot of pressure. Oh gosh. Hi, Hi, Peachy is Claire. Last name with hell. Hi, Claire. When I watch Tarzan sings the fall, I remember why I want to be a cinematographer.

And I wanted to be a cinematographer. And I wanted to know if there's anything that when you see you get jazzed about something you're passionate about, not necessarily career related. Oh, well I mean when I saw The Fall I was super jazzed about The Fall. That's a great movie. That's super great. I don't know. That's like the same thing. I mean, kind of recently, this is not a joke answer, but recently reading the comic book Profit by Brandon Graham kind of reminded me why I love comics and made me want to make

stuff and do stuff. It's great. Go check it out. I had, oh, sorry, Danny, go, you can go. I discovered that there's a series on uh... youtube actually posted this to the facebook group and i was talking about backstage uh... called playing shakespeare it's a it's a bbc program from nineteen eighty two the roller shakespeare company put out

and you can see a young benn kingsley a youngy and michelle and a young patrick steward and their bodies are tight as hell right and their bodies are tight as hell. Yeah. Right? Yeah. You could bounce a very off-factor Stewart's head. Oh, what I. And it's got John Barton, the director, explaining how to act in Shakespeare

and doing it with such clarity and intelligence and it reminded me of when I acted a long time ago and it made me want to act again, which I probably will not have the chance to do, but it really rekindled my passion for that sort of thing. That's really nice. I am also not gonna have a funny answer. This is a true story that really happened to me

with a movie that I don't know what you guys think about it and I don't know. Anyway, there was a time when I worked at a show called The Daily Show with John Stewart and it was ending and I had to make a decision about whether I was going to stick around or whether I was going to do something else. And I was a little burned out on doing new stuff but you know, it was still, it was a good job and it was fun and I liked all the people there. And even Dan.

What? Even Dan? Yeah, even, even, yeah. Against all odds. And I'm just kidding. I'm just talking with you, dude. Yeah, come on, we can do that, your friends. Anyway. We're your friends, which means we hate you a little bit. Just kidding. But I went, we had a week off,

and I went to go see a movie called It Follows. And that's a movie that you can take at there from a sheer monster thing It's a it's inconsistent, but there's a moment at the end of that movie where so I don't want to spoil it But the two main characters have made a pair bond you might say that was not was not something that if that is partly through emotion and partly through just they're in the same situation. And there's a thing falling behind them that might be the if that's falling them. It's shot blurry in the back. You don't know. And it struck me at that moment.

This movie is about relationships and how death is coming for all of us and the only way to combat that in our lives is to find another person to have some sort of relationship with, whether it's romantic or not. That is the only hedge against the knowledge of death. And I remember walking out of that movie and thinking there's another way to tell stories. And there's much more out there than like what I've been doing and I gotta try for it. And so then I went on to Mystery Science Theory 1000, which did not really get across the idea of hair-bonding for death, but it was like, like, but that was the closest thing for me. I feel like in the past few years, which I saw something I was like, and it was like a door opened up in front of me, and I was like, oh, okay.

Like there's other stuff out there. Full of stars. It's, oh my God, it's full of stars. And now I'm a big baby. Elliot's a big baby. Yeah. Elliot's a big baby. So. So if you're wondering why I'm a big baby, it's it follows.

Well, anyway, that was, I felt like I got a little more vulnerable than I wanted to in that moment. Yeah, that's OK. Well, that. Yeah. Don't worry. I'll cover for you by ending the show. Thank you. I appreciate that.

Thank you so much. That was pretty simple. Thanks for all the questions everybody. As always, getting questions like this when you're standing on stage, you're like, what am I going to say? We appreciate really so stage, you're like Oh, what am I gonna say? We appreciate really so much that everyone came out to see us and that hope you had a guys had a good time and

I don't know. It's just very special to do this for four people, you know? So Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That was a three person hug for the listeners at home. That was, oh yeah, we were all hugging. Forgot we were recording this. You just missed a big hug. It's like, I heard online. So. I remember you said, we're going to end the show.

And now you got an online story? Who wanted to see who me to dinosaur Dan? There is not worth going into at this point in the show. Why are we doing it? And why are we spending time calling that out? I heard online, like some audio from an old LP that was from the 70s, that was porn. It was like a pornographic record. What?

This could not be less appropriate for the moment. It was just people having sex and describing it as they were doing it. It was just people having sex and describing it as they were doing it And we did the very sweet very vulnerable very nice very non-sexual version of that. I Don't I mean I don't know about non-sexual All right, we've been lingering too long and I wasted time with that. Yes So we got another show to do you've all been very wonderful. Thanks so much So yeah, what do you have for lunch today, Elliot?

I had PADCU with chicken. They gave me too much, and I did not finish it. Too much chicken or too much PADCU? Too much noodle. Oh wow. What about you? Do I grab the shank burger on my way to Badlands hair salon? Oh made a chicolony on me. Yeah, it was delicious Oh, what about you Dan? Although now I don't believe the earth is round anymore You have an urge to be a Florida sheriff Maximumfund.org You have an urge to be a Florida sheriff. Yeah.

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