The Flop House - Ep. 252 - The Book of Henry LIVE

Episode Date: March 3, 2018

Another from our backlog of live shows! This one is from Toronto, our discussion of The Book of Henry! Wikipedia synopsis for The Book of Henry

On this episode of the show, we discuss the Book of Henry. Wait, I thought we review movies, not books, guys. Classic stuff. And we're in Toronto! That's a lot of cheering. I'm really glad I pitched you in the bit this time So it was like I got a bit just let me do it. Don't worry. I got this I believe you said you were like strap yourselves in because this is gonna be like the old max out commercial where the guy almost gets blasted out of a chair And you guys at this point my track record is perfect. I've never let you down with it

Never happened. All right. Let's get into the actual show. And three, two, What are you doing? What is... What is that? You like stirring something? What is... I figured if I did it...

If I did it faster, Dan would know faster. Hey everyone, and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaylen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we are live in Toronto. Toronto. Thanks. And as everyone knows, who's listening to this? Toronto is the home city of everyone's fifth favorite, rideable Star Wars animal. The Toronto, I got it.

Yeah. Solid number five. I understand. You're probably wondering what the other ones are. Number one, taunt on, naturally. Yeah. Number two, do-back. And I'm not talking the CGI, special edition do-backs.

I mean, the do-back that sits in the background, it doesn't move. Number three, that robot-headed thing that almost steps on Ray and Force Awakens. OK. I don't know if it's an animal wearing a helmet or it's some kind of cyborg beast. I just don't want to ride it.

Number four, that strider from the dark crystal, not a star wars movie, but who knows? Maybe. Disney owns all that stuff. Maybe it's part of one universe now, and Captain America shows up. And number five, the Ranto. Bread here in Toronto.

I would like to say that I am genuinely amazed that you're able to come up. You started that bit, and then you jumped it, like it was like you were jumping into a pool that was not filled. And somehow before you hit the water, like it just sprayed in there. Yeah, I just peed enough in there to fill it up.

Yeah. Swim around in it. All right. Banthas are someone yelled out, what about Banthas? Banthas are great. They're a star. They're a filmeries on that. What about Banthas?

They're a solid number six. It is too easy to be killed by imperial troops while riding Banta's. And their tracks are too easy to counterfeit by imperial troops. So that's why they're number six. Otherwise, they'd be much higher up. Thank you.

All right, your logic holds together. Again, they also lose points by the fact that people don't have their own. What do we do on this here, podcasting? They lose, and this is not the Banta's fault. They lose, they lose points, but the fact that Banta is the same in Huddy as in English. So it just reminds me when I think of them about how lazy the huts are.

So what are we doing in this podcast, Anthony? Anthony's checking his fucking Instagrams. This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. And this case we watched a movie called The Book of Henry. And it's appropriate that you talk about Star Wars because this is a movie that probably lost the director a Star Wars movie. Now guys, guys, guys, you just said we watched The Book of Henry, but that's a book. All right.

Call back. Brilliant. Call back. Brilliant. Call back. Really? Brilliant jokes. This isn't a library podcast.

Hammering the same joke. Like Hammerhead. I mean, there's my Nathan from the Star Wars movie. Dan, you're trapped between a guy who thinks this is a podcast about saying things or books, whether or not. And a guy who thinks it's done to bring in Star Wars. Who's gonna win in the Battle of the Concepts? It's fine, I love it.

So, yeah, Book of Henry, it's directed by... Almond Trevor. Almond Trevor, who was direct Jurassic World and was all set to direct Star Wars episodes, something or other, the saga continues to go. I don't know which Star Wars movie it was gonna be, but... Still a better title than Solo, it's fine. Oh, was it the Solo one? No, no, no, he saga continues to go. I don't know which Star Wars movie it was going to be, but still a better title than solo. It's fine. Oh, was it the solo one? No, no, no, he was going to do episode 9. Oh, that solo was the one Lord Miller refired from.

Yeah. So it nines the one he was fired from. Who's going to be fired from a Star Wars movie next? I can't wait to find out. Is it you? Oh, contest and contest winners. Listen up. Call in and be our hundredth caller and you could be fired from directing the Star Wars movie Imagine how impressed your friends will be when they find out that your vision clashed without a Lucasfilm And link Kennedy said no no no to you Oh 1 800 star war no Director. Yes Hit the pound key and then the extension 4 5 6 800 Star Wars, no, directories.

Hit the pound key and then the extension, four, five, six, for the original trilogy. Press now. Right, get out. But book of Henry, so this is not a Star Wars movie. It's not even a science fiction movie, or is it? Well, it's certainly fictional. Yeah.

There's some science in it, right? There's like, well, there's medical science, and there's a Ruben Goldberg contraption, which is it's a Ruben Goldberg contraption. He was Jewish, not a bird. OK. It's not Ruben Goldberg, which I said. I'm calling myself out on that, my apologize. It's that. It's that. It'sberg, which I said. I'm calling myself out on that, my apologize.

Is that a puppet that I'm not going to be a... Or a Duck Tales character, yeah? That would be a great Duck Tales character. So what happened in this movie? Let's talk about it. Okay, so the opening of this movie. I love... I love to Jarel Elliott right before he starts talking, But even more than that, I love his notes

where he very carefully writes, quote, look of Henry at the top of his notes. In case he forgot, what were we doing? A long time ago, I said, Dan, one of these days, I'm going to get organized and then I did. Yeah. OK, so I don't only started taking notes, by the way, when I moved to California, and I need to take notes

because I watched movies myself before that, I was a noteless guy. And as a result, I often forgot what happened in the movies. No more thanks to the power of the written word. From millennia, man has been communicating across oceans and across time with future generations

through the power of the written word. Letters, triumph. time with future generations through the power of the written word letters try them from the letters council I guess brought to you by the global letters council unless letter farmers organization mmm the sweetest letters are grown right from the best soil you don't leave farm fresh letters. So anyway, the opening credits of this movie, it's all diagrams and sketches. We're flipping through the pages of a book, perhaps the titular book of Henry. And I have to admit, when the pages first started flipping, I was like, wait a minute, is this a Marvel movie? No, it was not. When the pages started flipping, I was like,

guys, we normally review movies. They're clearly showing us a book. All right. That would be a bold move for a movie, just to be showing you pages from a book and you have to read it. And that's the movie. And it's like a book on tape, but it doesn't add anything. I assume that's what Dracula pages from a Virgin's diary

was, right? Incorrect, Stan. That was a ballet film. A Canadian director, anyone? Anyone. That was my attempt at local pandering. Look, and it failed. If you guys aren't familiar with Guy Madden,

go see his movies both before as they're great and your tax dollars are funding him. So you own those movies anyway. I imagine Guy Madden stopping you on the highway and you're like, I pay your salary sir He's a highway patrol. Yeah exactly He's just sitting on the side of the road on his motorcycle writing a script about the sexual tension among the family of ghosts And that he sees me speeding by and he flips it goes visor down throws the notes to the winds

His frequent collaborator George Toll, I think his name is, will pick those up. And then, off to catch me on his motorbike. And that concludes the Guy Madden Riff. Anyway, so all the stuff we're seeing this book is like sketches of machines and a kid in goggles. It's real procosis shit. And there's a voiceover from a kid about how most people

are good, but a lot of people are pricks. And sometimes people surprise you, but sometimes they don't. And this is over footage of a nerd getting bullied, it's like, thanks kid, for telling me nothing. That's thanks for giving me a lot of trusums that cancel each other out. Henry is a, what, Henry. He's a young sheldon, dude.

He is basically a young sheldon. Good point. He's of the genus young sheldon. And he's a genius prodigy. And let's just say one thing, before we get into the plot of the movie, he is insufferable. But everyone treats him like he's amazing.

They're like Henry, but he's the best of us. But all he does is tear other people down, because not as smart as him. There is one thing I know, it's that children love a prodigy. Like other kids adore when someone is visibly smarter than them. People like kids that stand out, other kids want to support them so he can be their leader. Yeah. Yeah, so the Henry's class is doing presentations on my legacy, which is one of those assignments

I don't think any teacher has ever even considered giving a student. If I'm wrong, find me after the show, tell me what you said your legacy would be as a kid. But it allows someone to come up and tell you the theme of the movie before the movie starts. Henry says, hey, he lays some knowledge on the class. One, the first kid is like, I want to be the best dodgeball player ever. I'll inspire other kids to be better dodgeball players. It's like, okay, he's not aiming not aiming. Yeah, that's a no-go pursuit. For a kid, what is he supposed to say? I'm gonna end what's happening in Burma?

Like, come on. He's a kid, he doesn't watch the news. He's not so vester solo. No. And Henry gets up and he's like, you idiot. Henry lays down some knowledge on the class about how we're all gonna die. Let's just do the best we can, quote,

while we're on this side of the dirt. Yeah, but seeing like that would normally happen at the end of like a dystopia movie where the main characters like, why do we do this thing? And you're like, I don't know. Why do you do this thing, guys? Why do you have hunger games? It seems stupid. Don't tell me why they have hunger games.

I just think it's dumb that they call it the hunger games. They should call it like, this is an actual problem I have with the Hunger Games movies. The government should call it like the Cross District Games or the Transnational Games. Or the Kid Fighting Games. Or the Kid Fighting Games. And the peasants should call it the Hunger Games. But the government calls it the Hunger Games. Like they're telling the people, we're oppressing you. People don't do, it's the same way people have complained about the Empire calls it the Hunger Games. Like they're telling the people, we're pressing you.

People don't do, it's the same way people have complained about the Empire calling it the Death Star. It's like, why are you just owning that you're the bad guys at that moment? But I mean, that makes sense for a weapon, like a hellfire missile or something. Anyway, Henry lays down the knowledge and the teacher is so impressed. She's like, Henry, you should be in a gifted school. And he says, no, because regular social interaction is important for me at my age age And this was one of many times that I think we were all like fuck you movie That's the next time came when the next shot is him calling in his stock trades on the payphone at the school

And he's like, I guess it's the good thing about being born during a good during a boom time for the market We're like come on movie and he doesn't even put on like a fake old guy voice or anything No, what do you think it's like we'll be go bring the associate? Come on, movie. And he doesn't even put on like a fake old guy voice or anything. No, well, you think it's like, we'll be go bring in the associate? Yeah, I mean, but it feels like, I mean, a kid can't just like make stock trades, right? I bet the ref looks through the rulebook

and he was like, nothing. It says the kid can't make stock trades. Like an airbud's going to be making more of that stuff. There's a dog looking through the ticker tape. Oh no, tech stocks are dropping. The bubbles burst, rough. Easy to dog.

Anyway, at this point, it was like, little man tape, more like little man hate. We hate this kid. That's when mom Naomi Watts picks them up, him and his little brother Peter, who was the kid we were seeing getting bullied on the school bus earlier under the thematic, announced a VO.

They drive to the leafy suburban street to piano music, let's not do that anymore movies uh... it's it's been done driving in through suburban streets to piano music let's not do that anymore uh... henry and i just a sort of thing that's introduced early in a movie so that people are like

uh... i still need to make a quick snack bar run let me let me do this uh... henry and i did not realize the younger brothers name at this point, so my notes just say glasses kid. They've been working on a kind of rub, goldberg style contraption in their secret woodwork with a fire engine door in the woods. Dan, you had an issue with this. I just hate any time in the movie where like kids do a thing that kids are unable to do. Like kids like... Like in the Incredibles?

Uh... Yeah, Dan, like the Incredibles, not superpowers, but like when kids are able to rig up elaborate things, like the entire movie, Home Alone, is basically that. Like your son of Rambo's, thank you. Yeah, exactly. It's like, I've never known a kid to be able to have the mechanical knowledge or cleverness to build a Rupigool-British team.

Even to outwitch the one-banded Henry is supposed to be. Well, one Kevin McAllister, not a prodigy, just a kid who was in a bad situation, need to figure out how to stop those wet bandits, as Stuart said. So named because by the end of the day, they were all wet. Were they gonna kill him at the end? I mean, I'm sure there's been talk to death on podcasts, but the wet bandits were gonna kill him, right? That's the threat.

They were gonna murder that kid. Oh, for sure. For sure. Okay. Definitely. Cool, okay, cool. Their hands would be wet with blood. That's where the name comes from.

Well, only because Joe Pesci, you couldn't see it in a lot of the shots, he was carrying a samurai sword. And he knows when he unchieks, it has to taste the blood of his enemy, his or else. He can't put it back in the sheet, it's hungry. Yeah. Anyway, I feel like a hijacked a Stuart joke.

No, it's OK. So Naomi wants, it's your classic. It's literally the classic like mom, who is in awe of her prodigy son, and the prodigy son is kind of keeping them up the family together. They are a very quirky family. Yeah, classic role reversal while he's doing the banking, she's sitting on the couch awkwardly playing video games. And yes, she plays them like someone who just learned how to play video games or this shoot.

She's holding the controller out like it's on fire. There is a moment though where he says to her, Mom, when you move the controller like that, it doesn't actually help you at all. And it's like, technically that's true, but as I said to you guys when you're watching it, anything that gets you into the mind of the character you're playing helps you. It puts you in the situation.

LA had paused the movie and started berating us. I was like, I was like, you guys, I've heard this long enough. It's technically true, but it's not emotionally true. So step off, Henry, by which I mean Dan and Stewart. I'm sorry, I guess. Anyway, but it's a quirky family and they talk in that like hyperarticulate, hyperarticulate Gilmore girl style. And the whole time I was thinking, I hope my family is not this quirky to other people

Because I have a fairly quirky family, but I hope we don't come off this quirky But you sit countile the fairly quirky family See it. Yeah, okay. Well, Pitch it to me. What happens on this show? I got a lot of shows I can watch worse dream or maybe I just sit around looking at a wall I mean you're watching it because you're literally in it It's so I'm starring in it. This is what's called narrow-casting at least And the future every show is gonna be a pitch to one person in particular Okay, so what's so this show is pitched to me? What does it have in it? It's got Sammy? Okay, great my favorite thing

It's got your life. Okay, my other favorite thing. It's got you not so not so much a fan Here's the elements. I'm elements you're missing right now, Dan. If you really want to capture the me market, dinosaurs, vampires, cowboys, Abraham Lincoln. Let's get those four elements in there. I'm not saying how you have to put them together. Just get them in there. I'll take it back for retooling, and maybe we can make the deal.

That would be wonderful. I don't know how the deal would work exactly. Am I producing the show as well as the audience for it? I don't know. I lost track of this roleplay. I like that you're retooling a non-idea. I don't know. Naomi Watts says she's a working single mom.

She's trying to raise her sons. But Henry is the one who's really supporting the family with his WizKid financial, Wizurtry WizKid stuff. And you know what? It's like they're more like friends and roommates than family. This is the show, Dan. It's called Book of Henry the Show. But you can't make a show out of this.

And we'll get to why. Next door, there's Glenn, Dean Norris, from Breaking Bad, among other things. And he has a stepdaughter. Glenn's very nosy and fussy. He has a daughter, Henry's age. And let's just say it, Henry is convinced that Glenn

is molesting his daughter. Now all right yeah, content warning, child abuse, child abuse, and coming up, child death. Spoiler alert, Dan. Hilarious fodder for a bad movie podcast. All around. You know it's going to be hilarious because she works at a diner with Bobby Moina Han and Sassy Waitress Sarah Silverman. These two top comedy talents are going to, you know, they're going to make us knee slap and rotate. But not a lot of jokes for these two. They're playing very straight roles for the most part.

Anyway, there's a lot of predictable prodigy moments. He beats an adult at checkers in a moment. He does all sorts of stuff. And he does the thing where he's like about to get up from the table and his opponent who's an older, like an older lunch lady or something. And she's like, hey, wait, we're not done yet. And then he immediately just like jumps a bunch of things.

He's like, now we're done. Which you could see, you could, you're playing checkers. You could see the fact that you can jump three in a row. I mean, like this movie, even when it's aiming, like, low, it planes lower. Like, it could be chess that he's playing. You don't know what's going on in his life. Maybe she's not really that invested in this checker's game with a kid.

I mean, she's probably got a lot of problems. She's an older lady who's still working in a service position. She's got a plan for a future and this kid's like, hey, let's play some checker's hilda. She's like, I've got to plan these things. You don't know that they actually have a lot riding on it to make it interesting. Oh, I see.

Yeah, he gets extra chicken nuggets. This is the, is the bet. And that comes out of her salary. Exactly. So he's, he's already a villain. Anyway, his, his brother is upset with him about something. So he puts on a little play lit in their door frame where he's like a polar explorer using suction cups.

He's in plunger as suction cups to get through a snowy wind made out of like a fan with paper or fluff or something. It's like damn saying. It's one of these things. He has his hands all over those toilet things. Plungeers. Yeah, but they're in a toilet, right? I mean, not the handle usually.

I mean, but you're getting all involved with that, like. Okay, that's true. Who's the guy who directed a Turnle Sunshine, let's see. Michelle Gondry. Okay, if this was Michelle Gondry as an adult, in his younger brother, I'd be like, okay, I'd buy this. Like a kid, I don't buy it. Unless they, unless the, did I miss the reveal at the end, or it said, and Henry grew up

to be Michelle Gondry. We call them computers. That's an imitation game joke. So anyway, I mean, Watson Sarasovan, they come home to drink and share stories and gripe. And Sarasovan actually says to her, I don't know how you do it, which is, I think that I think every single mom

gets asked in every movie. Henry kind of creepily watches the girl next door who's making Valerie inina shadow puppets. And again, it's implied that Glenn is doing terrible things. Next morning, Henry notices she's sad and Henry storms out of the class into the principal's office. Paul's the principal by her first name, but she corrects him. And demands that she look into the scene.

He's really granular in this. This isn't, but it's important for later on. She says, Glenn's the police commissioner. She needs evidence. And Henry goes, I'll get evidence. They go to a, uh, yeah. There's a bunch of things like that we don't really need to get into. So our silverman has passed out drunk and they have to go get her.

Yep. Henry is very judgmental and makes caddy comments about her clothes, not endearing us to him. In the grocery store, Henry sees a man shoving his wife, a question mark, girlfriend, and he wants to step in and his mom says, no, you only make it worse. And Henry, you know, he has an urge to help. He's got to step in. He's a kid vigilante,

like an incredible or a kid ecarist. Or he's like, you want to pay to pay it forward like Haley Joah's yeah yeah shipping the breakup like couples disputes that was it it was a couple's therapists in in pay it forward to he was going to return as a hero and he wanders the streets return after he'd been stabbed in the first movie yeah well yeah he's. You have to return from something.

We didn't get stabbed. What? That's the end of the painting. What is this movie? Well, the movie is paid forward, but here's the thing we have to remember about kids who want to help and make the world better in movies. They are not long for this world. They're just too good for it.

Like Billy Joel said, only the good die young. Ba da da da da da da da da da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, a senior. That's a reference to something from the podcast. Anyway, mom, the mom tells Henry, stop being so serious. He should have more fun. He should be a key. Yeah, why so serious Henry?

Henry says, Henry says, violence isn't the worst thing in the world. Apathy is. Hmm. Anyway, let's. Yep. That's, yeah, it's a very like weird libertarian. that Henry says violence isn't the worst thing in the world, apathy is. Anyway, let's. Yeah, that's a very like weird libertarian decision I'd say. I feel like at this point.

Like the opposite, I would say. I feel like at this point, we can jump ahead to the big first turning point. Well, I just want to say there's one piece of information he learns. You can't call child services because Glenn's brother runs child services. Oh, and the's the last name.

It's a, yeah, this movie does a lot of work to convince us that there is absolutely no way that Henry can save this girl next door. Yeah, like, and he goes to the principal and the principal is like that avenue. We can't go down. It's not going to happen. So he is out of options. He's going to the rightful authorities and they're failing him. It's only, it's time for him to take the law into his own hands.

And you know what that means? He's got a hairy at the spy around town. Putting together some sort of master plan that unfortunately he doesn't get to pull off because suddenly he has a seizure. They take him to the hospital neurosurgeon, Lee Pace, who you may remember from when I favor him, Lee is the fall, says Henry's got a tumor.

We need to look and see if we can operate they take him in then they take him back to the hospital room and say it's too big they can operate henry diagnosis it himself because again he's super bit super duper smart and uh... he has to be alone he goes it's time for him to go into boring over his notebooks mode and looking at his financial papers because much like former US President Ulysses S. Grant struggling to finish his memoirs as he dies of cancer to leave

some financial reward to his family. Henry must now race against time to both prepare for his family's financial future and perhaps prepare for a mission that will change their lives forever and maybe do a bit of good in the world then. Back to you Dan. Uh, uh, uh, uh, and in sports, uh, a local team did a great thing. There's a lot of things to do. So we review movies on this show, right? So, uh, there's a moment in the classroom where the teacher is having all the kids right We review movies on this show, right? So There's a moment in the classroom where the teacher is having all the kids right get well cards and the kid who wanted to be a dodgeball champion

He's like Henry has to get better though. He's Henry. He has to be he's the best of us You know say that but that's the message like he's the but he's the golden child all our hopes and dreams or he's the one who's gonna escape this town But anyway, Sarah Silverman visits Henry in a very strange scene. He admits he insults her because he has a crush on her and she kisses him and then leaves. And there's this moment of connection between them where you're like, Sarah Silverman, about to take this even further. She like runs off. I mean, he's about to die, dude.

Okay, that's not funny. Okay, cool. Take the temperature. Come on. Where's your social thermometers, do? Anyway, Henry says to Peter, I'm leaving behind a red notebook. You got to tell mom to read it, but you don't read it. It's my last wish.

And it's all sad, Bob's very sad. The moms there, they have a sad, it's theory, it's cry. And it's like even I, a parent who worries about his child every day was like, move it along, people, let's say. Let's kill this kid off. Let's put this kid in the dirt, come on. Or have it up. If we can make a pencil out of leaves, we can kill a kid.

Yeah. make a pencil out of leaves we can kill a kid. Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Finally, he does die in her arms classic PA toss dial. And there's a song she sings earlier accompanying herself on a ukulele that she sings to him now. There's kind of a sadness montage.

The mom plays video games sadly, Peter said. Everyone's sad. And then mom ensures the manic phase of her depression it's a little interesting because like I would have expected there to be like a like a funeral scene or something no he demanded no funeral but it's I mean there's he said he wanted his body stuffed and then brought to the classroom so he could go to school forever and they said all out he was the best of us yeah maybe they maybe they bronzed his body and put in the town square as an inspiration to future generations of children.

I don't know. I mean, if they'd done that, I would have known. So I think what I'm trying to get at is that, he's in 100% clear that he's dead. Is the old what comic book rule, if you don't see the body, maybe they can come in? Yeah. Like, she's holding him for a while but it's like he could be asleep. I don't know. You were you were ready to see. So you're a book of Henry truthers what you're saying.

I'm just saying you know it's it's interesting. Is it illegal to ask the question Dan? He's just asking the question. Like, Jet Fuel doesn't burn Henry. Yeah. People laugh when you make that joke, Dan, but when I make the same joke, people think I'm crazy. The mom is having a breakdown. She says to Peter, I know how we're going to be happy. We're going to have dessert for every meal.

Breakfast lunch and dinner for a week. And then she starts smoking, which I don't think we've seen her do the entire movie. She's having a real manic episode all of a sudden. She says, we got to figure out what Henry would do in this situation. And Peter says, no, we need to know what you would do, mom. Leapace checks in on them. Peter says his head hurts. Leapace says, no, I think your heart hurts. And it's like, who's supposed to be the voice

of wisdom in the movie? It's like a chain of dumb wisdom. Where it's like, Peter says the thing to the mom, Leapace says the thing to Peter, Leapace probably goes home to his mother who says something to him. His mother goes to the newsstand and the old wise newsman tells her something,

the newsman goes to visit his dead wife in the cemetery and the groundskeeper gives him a piece of wisdom. The groundskeeper goes back to his weird shack and the person he's kidnapped gives him a piece of wisdom. The kidnap victim hallucinates a kind of like imaginary friend that gives them some wisdom. Like, where is it end, Stewart? I mean, that's probably the imaginary friend.

I can't really picture, like does the imaginary friend go back to like a not me style house and it's filled with imaginary people Yeah, they can't really manipulate objects that well so they just kind of push together a couple of cut out letters from a magazine that explain a piece of wisdom Yeah, I think that's how it works. Okay, cool. Bobby Moynihan tells Nami Watts was not doing a very good job at her waitress job. So, I mean, she's never worth a very good job portraying a mom in a movie. Like, no offense. Like, Naomi Watts, she's great, but like...

She's wonderful, a lot of things. She's a little too weird in this one. She's kind of, I mean, everyone in the movie is kind of weird from the get-go. And... It's a very theatrical performance. Yes. She's kind of, I mean, everyone in the movie is kind of weird from the get go. And it's a very theatrical performance. Yes, everything's very performative. There's, there's not a lot of naturality in this movie, which again for a child genius movie that eventually turns into a weird revenge justice movie. Oh, yeah, that's what we're getting to. It's like whatever, but we're going to get to that. Anyway, Moynihan tells her, your son in the hospital before he died sent me a letter saying, you have hundreds of thousands of dollars in a bank.

She's got like 600K in the bank from his stock things, and she works as a waitress every day. It's called earning your living, Dan. She wants a hand up, not a handout, and I for one applaud her with my hands, which are out, wanting money. She's stronger than I am, Dan. I'll just take it. Hand me the 600

gay that that kid made for me. Anyway, she finally, she gets home and Peter says, hey, this book. No, and he looks at the camera in weeks. Peter has done one of those things where he just sort of like flips through the book once and knows exactly what it's about because he runs out and he's like, I think Henry wanted us to kill Glenn. Yeah, he really, he Johnny Fives that book. And the way when he is handling it, you think when he opens it, light is going to pour forth. And the souls of the damned are going to scream for escape.

At least it's me. I mean, I think Henry wants us to kill Glenn. And the book is written and the accompanying audio tape, he has left for his mother. He recorded a podcast. He recorded the audible. Is recorded to counter everything she says, and this happens a lot. So she's like, well, why don't we call the police? And then she turns the page that says,

why you can't call the police? And it's like, anyway, she finds out that Glenn is friendly with policemen, strange enough, considering he's the police commissioner, but it horrifies her. And she's like, I'm gonna take care of this. And the book is written like a series of memento tattoos in book form.

So like she turns a page in a big There's just a check the safe in the safe She finds the tape recorder that Henry snuck out in the middle of the night to record and he's like Every it's super contrived. He's like okay, go to this bank. This will be where you get the money take out $500 and she's like why does $500? That's all they'll let you take out mom That's the daily limit per machine and there's literally turn to the right Know your other right mom and she turns the other direction. It's like hold on a moment Henry has literally like put like taped pauses and his like instructions to her

To allow her to talk to the tape and how long is this tape? Yeah, it's like a 40 hour tape this tape. Yeah. It's like a 40 hour tape. She's listening to it for days. Unless it's like there's a box of tapes and she's like struggling to figure out the order and she's starts listening to them out of order. And then she's like, I'll just put them on my iPad and her in our iPod. And our iPod. So it's like Madonna and then like a I guess like a Shania Twain song and then her and then her son telling her how to buy a gun. And then like when you get if you let want to learn a language and you get a language learning city and put on your iP song and then her and then her son telling her how to buy a gun and then like when you get if you let Want to learn a language and you get a language learning city and put on your iPod and then free years afterwards you finish a song and then it's like yes see I

Want to I do want to take a moment here And pause take it you aren't you aren't it all right Elliot's now fondling my shoulder and pause. Take it, you aren't it. All right, Elliot's now fondling my shoulder. I'll give you a nice backstroke. All right. Like, the swimming thing? I'm swimming through your blood.

So I want to take a moment here and appreciate the fact that this movie started as like a quirky dramedy about a really smart kid. And then in the middle of it, the kid died and started instructing his mom to shoot someone. I just think we need to appreciate that fact. That this movie has taken a turn for the crazy. That's the one thing I like about the movies, but is that, we haven't just thought, but it feels like the movie is written through a game of like exquisite corpse.

Whereas like somebody wrote the first 30 pages of a screenplay, handed it to somebody and says, you can read the last two lines of this script. Figure out where the rest of it goes. And then one person went in and just kind of like smoothed it out. And they were like, and they had just, you know, Wes Anderson wrote the first third. And then James O. Brooks wrote the second third, and then like Luke Besson wrote the last third. And then Luke Besson wrote the last third.

And then Luke Besson wrote the last third. Which, now that I think about it, would be a fantastic movie. Yeah, that's a great idea. I wanna see that movie, Dan. Let's make it. Yeah, let's make it. Why don't I call it my friend's Luke, James and Wes.

And ask him to do it for how much pay Dan, how much are we putting up for this movie? You moved to Hollywood, I assume you have all of their numbers. Good point. Yeah, in the Hollywood phone book they give you when you move in. It says secret Hollywood phone book for residents only. Technically I didn't move to Hollywood, I moved to Silver Lake, different neighborhood with the applause angelus.

Don't stalk my please. Anyway, she buys a gun, because he gives her the super duper code word that you get to bilingual guns, which he luckily overheard when he snuck into the gun shop early when he was alive. She is an- It's a name of a local crime boss.

Yeah, and she's practicing shooting in the woods and on the tape, it's like, good shot, mom. And she gets Glenn to sign a permission form for the school talent night and I'll give the movie this The school talent show excellently for shadowed They they planted references to this upcoming talent show throughout the film And then they painted up a talent show. I guess that's one point for the movie then It's not like William Goldman the the screenwriter's complaint about Big Lebowski, but they kept talking about the bowling tournament and he was like, I cannot wait to see this

bowling tournament. Not realizing, you're not supposed to give that much of shit about the bowling tournament in the Big Lebowski. It's not really about whether they're going to win the bowling tournament, not since the cutting edge. Has it mattered so little whether the heroes win a sporting event? Yeah, it's the emotional journey that's important. Exactly.

Mara Kelly. I'm just saying a word. I'm just saying the name of someone who is in the cutting edge now. Anyone? Anyway, she steals Glenn's signature and puts on a form to make her Christina the name of girls guardian. Does she just tape it on top of the other form or? I think so.

No, she traces over it. Oh, she light boxes. Outer light box. And then her other son shows up and he's like, what are you doing mom? And she's just like, work stuff. And he's not like, you're a waitress. Like, did you bring on dishes to serve you copying the transparencies from your receipts or something?

And also he's the one just skimming off the top of the and he's the one who said he Henry wants us to kill Glenn. He's in on the crime. Yeah. I guess she just doesn't want to go. It's going into a talent show night. Uh oh, they show up. Leeapace is there, turns out Peter invited him. They exchanged contact in the film. Peter's the kid.

Peter draws a mustache on a kid's drawing the tongue of the wall and he goes, and he defends that by saying Henry would have found it funny. And then that moment where I was like, this would have been the better movie. If Peter then becomes just a total asshole. And nobody could stop him because he's like, Henry would have wanted it. And

they'd all be like, oh, you're so right. He was an angel sent from heaven and then returned to heaven. We just only got him for a little bit. So yes, you can steal that candy bar. Henry would have wanted it. Or he's like, I don't want to go to school ever. Henry would have wanted it. Well, it doesn't square with my memory of Henry, but you knew him best. So I guess so. You're just a man of leisure at this point. It starts sitting around a park in a like a bathroom. Just yelling insults and people. So this follows him till he's like much much older. Yeah.

After everyone's long forgotten about Henry. They only know. Henry would have wanted, I don't know who that is. No, no, by that point the legend of Henry has become so garbled that he's some sort of a god that they worship. It's like a cataclyl for Lebelwitz at that point. Very much so. And Henry, the credit him was creating the town and the universe that exists in because

of his brain power. And of course, he had her by this point. It's like 105 years old. And he's lived this old age, because he's never at the lift of finger, because as Henry's brother, everyone did everything for him. And he's the only source of, he's the only one who knew Henry personally.

They just believe everything he says. He's a fontanologist. When I was born, Henry told me I was even smarter than him, and that kind of stuff. Oh, Henry's saithless? Oh, well. And he's like, the Oh Henry bar was named after my brother Henry. And they're like, it's amazing that that's still in production.

And yet, Twix, a much better bar has fallen out of production. Wow, sounds like some unbelievers are there. No, it is known only through myths and legends as the candy bar that traveled Twix heaven and hell. That's, that is why there were two Twix bars to represent the duality of the cosmos. And the caramel I guess was for sweetness. The metaphor gets kinda lazy at that point. Yeah, it's, it's only so, so far you can stretch that. Okay, okay, this talent show, again,

I'm gonna give the movie some props on this one. It is a great talent. It's amazing. These kids are so talented, which should not surprise me because they're all professional actors who are in a movie. That I'm...

It's also great because it appears that the principal's the one who signed off on this thing, but every time she's surprised when somebody performs, she's like, wait, this kid's gonna just go up and burp the alphabet? She's like, I guess I'll allow it. It's, yeah, it becomes this, I don't know. It's just, it made me wonder if this is,

if the book of Henry takes place in some kind of world-newton type universe, for anyone familiar with that, where a meteorite landed on Earth and suddenly a generation of incredibly talented kids were born, or like a midnight children type thing. Henry was the smart one, that kid's great at burping. There's been a couple of them. There's that little guy who's good at rapping

who also likes dodgeball. Yeah, and that's like, he's got two powers, that's not fair. Rapping in dodgeball. Like in dodgeball, it's a power. Rapping in dodgeball, he can rule the world. I like the thing, this is a book of Henry Rool playing game. We don't want to do this kid.

This character is too powerful. He can rap and like dodgeball. Yeah, that's too many points. We want to do power him a little bit. Gotta add some flaws. I guess he has low endurance. He can't have low endurance. He's great at dodgeball.

Anyway, Naomi Watts takes this time. She sneaks out, knowing that Peter has a magic act, which is I guess the headliner of the show. It's the last one because as again as a relative of Henry, he gets the best spot. She runs out. It's time for her to pull off this mission. I have some black ops wet works and time for Len What's his name? Len Sikleman, yeah, time to go to Glen Day's egg. I mean then mother tell your children not to walk my way makes a lot more sense Anyway, I'm just connecting dots here This is real mark. It's a trick. You might not like what he's saying. Yeah, yeah

You mean I like what I'm saying but fair point anyway What I was saying was not very good It's time for her to do the crime. She is going to kill the land and at this point but fair point. Anyway, what I was saying was not very good. It's time for her to do the crime. She is going to kill the Lenn. And at this point, and she goes, she suits up to the accompaniment of a tap dance routine, triple tap dance routine that the soundtrack is over her getting set up, much like the movie Stoelan

with Nicholas Ke age, in which there is a chase scene set to tap dance music. And by tap dance music, I don't mean actually music. I mean, just the sounds of the taps. Yeah. And it was at this point that I was like, I'm way more invested in talent show. Like, I kind of don't care if she kills Glenn,

but I want to, is there a prize at the end of the show? Like, is it a competition? Anyway, she manages to get Glenn out into the open to a place where she's supposed to shoot him so that he'll fall into a stream which will carry him over a waterfall. His body to be washed, I assume, off the edge of the earth. Discworld style.

She does this by whistling through a walkie talkie. Now let's put you in Glenn's situation. Not the bad part. You are not a criminal and you would never do that to a child. Let's put you in Glenn's situation. You're sitting at home. It's late. You should be at your kids' talent show. She's dancing in the ballet. But you know what?

You got to go over some papers at a beach. Here, police commissioner, you're busy. You don't have time to do that stuff. You don't even know that your brother-in-law is the biggest meth dealer in Albuquerque. But you've got to figure it out. You're just busy at home with your rock-tumbling equipment. Anyway, he hears a whistle outside. How would you react to this whistle? Would you, A, just keep sitting there. And not care that-

Oh, a whistle, that's weird. Because my reaction would be someone must be calling their dog that they're walking through. Or would you be, looks suspicious, take a gun out of your desk, and go outside to see where this fucking whistle is coming from. I mean, granted, there have been people who walk around whistling, but I wish I could shoot. Maybe, okay, and maybe, well, you were looking at me a lot during that. Maybe he thought, this must be Peter Lurie's character from M, would always whistle before murdering a child and that's my thing Yeah, this is my turf was his name Hans Beckman that I don't know I don't remember him that much. It's great movie

I love him everyone in Fritz Lang's in anyway Seems like you're pretty on you're both sides defense about him. No flip flopper. I don't know him that much, but I love it We know the What is the thing now you're an M truth or yeah, or is the thing you love about it? You don't always know everything about it surprises you, but that's the secret of a good relationship Yeah, it's true. I have a relationship with the movie. Yeah anyway, we're deep in love I mean, you know some people think that some people

try and keep us apart. Okay. Video store clerk saying like, exactly. They're like, bring back my copy of M. Rewound, please. Yeah, there's a center goes video down the street. You can easily just buy it.

Just buy a copy. That's where I bought my copy of M years ago. At Suncoast? I worked at. How did you copy. That's where I bought my copy of M years ago. At Suncoast? I worked at. How did you get an employee discount? I did. Not an employee discount.

Off the list price. Not the retail price. Double discount, everybody. Whoa! Because if you don't think Suncoast marks that shit up, they totally do. And I could swear around holiday time. They really raised the prices on low-tapes. Anyway, that's, I don't even know that company still business anymore.

So, you don't want to blow the lid off of the suncoast. You can spit it out. Now let's dig down it deep into your gripes of the suncoast. This is the time. No, their anime section was super. There's organized me, Bob. I'm in the ultra-medo taco.

It was very organized because I was the one organizing it. We had a wall of anime because that was around the time when every kid with my and dragon ball tapes. Our anime section was almost entirely dragon ball, a little bit of macross and neon genesis, one of the scoring tape, otherwise all dragon ball. But this was during the time, actually, I would love to be podcasted by my time

when it's on Cous. Because it was when VHS tapes were changing over to DVDs. And DVDs were still like a novelty and they cost 30 to 40 dollars each and people would walk in and buy movies they had never seen for 40 dollars. They'd be like, I have them a holder with no eye only, Judd. Yeah, sure. Okay.

I never saw it. Maybe this is good. 40 bucks, please. Here you go. And you're paying 30 or 40 dollars for a weird cardboard sleeve with like a plastic thing That was fucking crazy Prove that fucking packaging this packaging made to fit shelf space that already exists But it was so bad like I don't I don't want to display this in my home

The other thing think about me The other thing I learned was there's a very specific selection of movies that people want on DVD when they are not available on DVD. And they are. Our words, jaws, brave heart, back to the future. And none of those movies were available, and then suddenly brave heart became available. And it was like Christmas and Thanksgiving and the 4th of July and whatever the equivalents of those are in Canada. I'll wrap up whatever Canadian Christmas is.

And it was like, I think it's called Boxing Day. I'm not sure. And like, jaws came out and people were flipping their shit that jaws was available now on DVD. And people would come in every day, multiple people. It's back to the future of Available on DVD. No, it's not. Okay, I'll be back next week. Crazy. people come in every day, multiple people. Back to the future of Aelone DVD? No, it's not.

Okay, I'll be back next week. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Crazy. Anyway, back to the movie. So, Christina, the neighbor girl, she does a tearful ballet dance, and it's now when the principal sees the tears in her eyes as she dances, that the principal is like, oh, maybe there was something to all of Henry's crazy

blabbering about Christina not being treated well at home. So she like nods her head and wanders off stage, very noticeable. Yeah, and it's one of those things where it's like, I'm glad she's finally believing somebody about this, but the other hand, you could have been crying because she was turning into a black swan.

We don't know. That's the thing that happens to ballet dancers. You should be just being nervous when she's on stage, you know? And it really hurts your toes to dance ballet. That could be it too. Sure. I'm imagining a backstory where you've taken years of ballet. I wish, Dan.

Here's another peek into Elliott's past. Oh God. When I was a kid, I really want to take dance lessons. My mom went to the only dance studio in town. They said, we don't take boys. That was the end of that. So thanks, Dan, for bringing up those memories. When the gender binary that otherwise has only helped me throughout my life, for one brief moment was a negative.

It finally affected you. Yeah, finally. Otherwise, it's just kind of been privileged surfing all the way. But yeah. And a sweet deal it's been, Naomi Watts is about to shoot Glenn. When she accidentally triggers Henry's Rubberg machine inside of his forest fort, that she's been inside.

Does she reach over and just stop the ball from rolling down the series over? No, she lets it happen while watching through the skull like that. Does she quiet the chicken before it lays an egg? No. On to the scale that wakes up the sleeping mouse that then runs over to the match, lights the match, and lights a candle that candle burns through a string that opens up a cocoon to let a butterfly out.

The butterfly flaps its wings. There's a hurricane in Peru. The hurricane knocks a telephone off the hook. The telephone knocks off the hook onto a scale, which then tips over to a pointed finger, which just through gravity and balance calls the number on Glenn's cell phone to get him to stop just long enough together to shoot him. That's not what happens. No. Instead, she lets it go through and when it ends

it just reveals a chain of photographs of her and her kids. Yeah, and I have to wonder, why did Henry set up a Rubigoldberg machine where the ultimate thing was it unfurls a bunch of photographs of him growing up? When I first saw it, I thought it was, he was like, oh wait, I want to make her think about the consequences of her actions by seeing this, but on the tape on the podcast she's listening to, he keeps shouting,

shoot a mom, kill her! Take a blow, sprays off! Take a shot. She's thinking, re-thinging, he's like, go mom, do it. Make sure he's in your sights. You're making bleed! I really wanted, I wanted her to fast forward a little bit on the tape, like,

and it's like, fuck mom, you fucked up, get to the safe house. You're in a lot of trouble, mom, you've got to get out of there. Like he, or he recorded two different tapes, and it's like, tape one is done. If you successfully shot Glenn, turn to tape two. If you missed, insert tape three now.

Turn to page 41 if you enter the Minotaur's layer, mom. So she decides, no, I'm not going to do it. This is the wrong thing. She goes outside and confronts Glenn, puts her gun down, which is like the dumbest thing you can do. And she says, I know what you've done, and says, who do you think they're going to believe? And she says, well, I'm dedicated to getting the truth out.

I can afford to take this forever. I don't know if you can. Yeah, I just got one kid left, and he's not that good. Yeah. They actually, there was a scene in the movie after Henry dies, where she has to tell Peter, no, you are as important to me as Henry. And that was the one scene in the movie where I was like, this scene is really affecting

me, that it's like the idea that this younger son is noticeably seeing how, just shaken his mother is by her death, and taking from that, she, I'm not as valued as Henry. And Henry was the thing holding his family together, and she just said, I'm like him like no I do love you as much as Henry and your best especially is I was like oh that's it like that frankly Should have been the climax of the movie like a movie about a Gifted kid dying and his younger brother who does not have those gifts kind of struggling with with living in that shadow I could be a good movie, but instead Luke basson had to come in and screw it up. Yeah. And she's explaining this to her son Peter the whole time in her head. You know, she's got that like Drake head shake meme going on where she's like, nah. Yeah. Sunglasses anime.

To your point, Elliot, like, I feel like the moment that the screenwriter types and then Natalie Watts, Natalie Watts, Natalie Watts, I don't know who that is. Well, I don't know why the screenwriter types and then Natalie Watts, Natalie Watts, I don't know who that is. Well, I don't know why the screenwriter is saying and then Natalie Watts, you don't know what it is. Well, I never watched. But as soon as he's typing the words, like, she picks up a high powered rifle with the silencer on it.

He might be like, take a moment and be like, this script is going off the rails. I don't know and I'll tell you why, because Dan, I've talked to people about this before. I don't remember if I ever said it on the podcast. I must have. I had an epiphany when I watched Kong's Skyline Island where I was like, I really want to write something where Google is throwing a bunch of helicopters around.

And if I ever get to sit down and write Kong grabs a helicopter and hurls it into space, I'll like, then I'll just, I guess, take up a cyanide pill because I've done it. There was a moment where I was writing a Spider-Man Deadpool issue that came out this year, and I got to write the lines, Deadpool is jumping out of a plane as it slams into a robot Tyrannosaurus Rex. And I was like, yeah, this is the best of all possible worlds. I'm sorry, everybody else who's suffering right now.

But I'm just kidding. This is the middle list of all possible worlds. Len calls his brother, the head of child protective services, as Naomi Watts runs off to the talent show, because the timer she set for when her son's magic act is on, because she's showing a lot of faith in the fact that a child's talent show is going to stick to a strict schedule. Seems very unlikely.

He calls his brother and the brothers like we got a tip from the principal it's too wide open we got to investigate and the police show up at glens house hammer pulls back you're a gunshot so wait a minute she in the middle of the show went to use the phone

and that hotlines a twenty four seven thing i guess maybe she called the police. Okay. Which I hope was a 24-7 thing. I mean, it's not like they're like, up, the 7-30, sun's going down, crime's going to sleep. I'll be back at 6-30 tomorrow morning

and crime gets up. Yeah. They'll wake up pretty early to stop all the crime in the mornings. It's like the old Warner Brothers cartoon where they sheepdog and the wolf. There's a bank robber and a police chief. Just punching in, high a thread, high a sand.

Yeah. We have to assume that Glenn has killed himself. Although Stuart, you raised the question that maybe he's fuboring it, the police. You're not going to take me. Now, Peter says he shows up as a, they say the announcement. Now, Peter the Great, and I got excited. My favorite Russian czar is gonna be in this movie.

The man who created the Russian Navy. The man who dragged a backward superstitious nation into the 18th century. I mean, sure, he killed a lot of people to do it. But St. Petersburg is still a work of art. Built, yes, on the body of thousands of surfs who died in the construction. But you got a hand at to him. Of all the zars.

Oh, okay. He was the greatest. But no, Alas, Alak. No, it's just Peter, the regular character. I guess testing out the title he hopes to be called by in the future generations that worship Henry. And he says his magic trick, as he pulls his magic trunk out is to bring his brother back Audience can't they're like and leapase at this moment leapase is like

Turning around in his chair being like As if you're seeing this Anyone going to stop this. Oh, you think he thought Henry was gonna show up prestige Wait a minute I I saw that kid die. Wait, hold on. What if it was a baby? It's such a different movie. Lee Pace stood up and goes, that's not true. I killed him.

And Peter Strokes is fake mustache. And he's like, well, well, officers take him away. Officers, and Naomi, Naomi Watch Runes in, is like, I'm sorry, they're all at Glenn's house. There's no police officers to catch Lee Pace. And Lee Pace gets into his Ronin, the accuser spaciously. He's like, halt and catch fire. Gunfire, that is. Shoot him, boys.

What if Peter then pulled out his brother's dead body and was like, live, live. And Lee Pace goes, wait a minute, I can raise the dead. Let's push some daisies. Oh, boy. Lee Pace, I mean, still young. He's push some daisies. Oh, what? Leapase, I mean, still young. He's had an amazing career. Yeah. We'll give it up for Leapase, everybody. Come on.

And now, wouldn't it be amazing if Leapase walked out that door right now? Alast, don't know. Leapase, his star is never going to the fall. OK. I mean, I appreciate the reference, again, one of my favorites, but, okay. But Peter said everyone's kind of like, what's this all about? He dig up his brother.

Peter only goes, I hope this works. And he opens up the trunk and confetti flies out. And it's like an unending fountain of confetti up into the air that flies over the audience. The audience loves it. They love it. They immediately, even though- Even though- They love it. Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- Even though- to a little bit of his genius into their own self. And mom showed up on time. She's there and she hugs her son. Well, when they go outside, the police have arrived to tell Christina that Glenn is dead. She runs into Naomi Watts' arms, cut to the court. Naomi has been awarded custody of Christina,

thanks to the forged documents that she submitted. And there's some voiceover, which comes from Henry's tape. Sometimes a good story reminds you of what makes this human blah, blah, blah. And you're like, don't tell us about good stories right now. Come on. And as Naomi wants to erase the evidence, and I assume to free herself from Henry's spirit, which

has dog tore up to this point, I'm my own woman now, Henry. Leave me alone. Throws the book and the tape into the fire. You don't read, she was going to have to be, Peter into the fire, like erase all the evidence. He's like, you know this too, little kid, you ran on this thing. Henry once told me that Benjamin Franklin said, three can keep a secret if two are dead. Well Henry's dead and it's your turn now, Peter. And she reads a bedtime story to Christina and Peter who now share a room just like Peter and Henry did

I raised a weird question that this adolescent girl is sharing a room with like a nine-year-old boy I don't even want to get into it. It says almost as weird as Sarah Silverman's bizarre kiss Um, and she reads a bedtime story about a dying flower which enriches the soil with its death And it's like and it's like and she looks at him and she's like, that's kind of like Henry, right? Yeah, and they're like, you know fucking fake dude. I was supposed to book and just said, get it. That's like your brother. Who's dead?

He's never coming back. There's no magic that'll ever bring him back, Peter. You're a bad magician. Yeah. Sleep tight. Sleep with one eye is open, one eye is open. Ripping your pillow tight, Peter. Enter night exit light.

Take my hand, Peter. We're often never, never lands. Yep, and that's the movie Finding Neverland. Yeah, soaring, Metallica. Yep. So, Stuart, you were going to say something. How do you feel about Christina, the neighbor girl, getting no lines and basically being a football that's thrown around for this movie? Like, she's the MacGuffin, right? She's what they're all fighting over, but she doesn't get like, I think her one line is, I'm fine.

Yeah, she has very little dialogue. She gets very few moments. It's, yeah, she is more a plot device than a person. Yeah. But then again, so is Henry. Like, Henry's more a collection of being an asshole ticks than anything else, but Dan, you're looking at a watch looking very concerned.

No, we've gone very long, and we want to go on to answer a few questions from the audience. So we should probably wrap it up. Is it time for some kind of judgments? I believe that it should the judgment should have some sort of finality Like a destination if you will or a fantasy 7. Yeah, so maybe it's time to see the spirits within. I'm sorry Yeah, this we review movies Good point. So it's time for final judgments. Final judgments finishes. Is this a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie you kind of like? Ellie, what do you have to say? I found this to be a bad, bad movie. And that's too bad because I wanted it to be a movie I kind of liked because

I went into it knowing it's I know this movie, and that's too bad because I wanted it to be a movie I kind of liked because I went into it knowing, I know this movie takes some kind of crazy twist because I saw the pictures of Niam and Watch with a sniper rifle. And you know what? You know what? Just because this guy got fired off a star word doesn't mean that I'm never seen any of his other movies.

I never saw Jay World or anything, but maybe you know what? I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. And sometimes a movie, what it swings for the fences and fails. And sometimes it hits over those fences and this one fails. You're just, you're just aping Henry's monologue from the end of the movie. You know, sometimes a movie, sometimes stories are good stories.

It literally is like, sometimes stories are good stories. And sometimes they're bad stories. Sometimes they tell us about the best of us. Sometimes it's the worst of us and sometimes it's the worst of us and it's like Henry did they not bring you the script pages and you're like stalling for time until they get them to you so damn what do you think I say it's a bad bad movie. Yeah I say it's a bad bad movie too. The craziness of it makes me want to say that it's a good bad movie but it is boring and it's also about child death and child abuse.

So I don't recommend that anyone run out and see it for a larfs. That's what I have to say about that. Yeah, it's a hard movie to get like a fun hate watch on. It's not very good, obviously, and there's some really dumb stuff in it, but it's a hard movie to take pleasure in it that way. So I'd say bad bit. Sorry, book of Henry, but it fears this book is closed. I want you to be fucking work on that one. And then, and then, thank you. Slip on my shades. Ow! Bump, bump, bump, bump, see you sign Miami.

Bump bump bump bump see us on Miami Going into a bullseye interview I know it's somebody who does amazing work, but if it's an actual conversation I don't know where it's headed The absolutely you're absolutely right you said it actually better than I did so I have to think about what that means Hey, these are this this this is the straight talk that you're going to get on the show. Bulls eye, creators you know, creators you need to know. Find it at MaximumFund.org or wherever you get podcasts. Awww. Are you sad and confused about world politics? Worried about the upcoming inevitable nuclear war?

Or maybe a rat is living in your house? There's a rat living in my house. How do you get rid of a rat from a house? Why not immerse yourself in a completely fictional, imagined podcast for the beef and dairy industries? It works for me. The Beef and dairy network podcast is the number one podcast for those involved, or just interested in the production of beef animals and dairy herds. Don't worry, it's funnier than it sounds. Find us at beefanddairynetwork.com or maximumfund.org, or wherever you get your podcast from. Oh God, it's funnier than it sounds. Find us at beefandarynetwork.com or maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcast from.

Oh god, there's the rat! Oh god! Hey everyone, it's a live show, which means another one of my patented solo ad reads. That's right, I patented it. The patented officer said, no I patented it. The patent office said, no, patent rejected. But I broke into their offices and I stuffed my application in the files anyway. So suck it, patent office. My, our first sponsor is Casper.

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because of the flop house people I am the close horse I would say although Stewart is the one who always looks good in anything damn him and I got this great shirt from Bompo that literally got me three compliments in one day I'm not exaggerating I'm not making it up three compliments in one day if you want to get three compliments in one day well there's a lot of ways of doing that but Bontfeld is one of them so listen our Bontfeld is offering our listeners twenty-five dollars off your first purchase when you visit when you visit Bontfeld you can't visit any place, there's a lot of misinformation going around about how you can visit a place or bow to a place or you can't be at a place.

That does work. But don't get fooled by these new, fangled travel agencies that want to book a visiting for you because that doesn't, that does not work. Now you can visit Bomphill, that's B-O-M-B-F-E-L-L.com slash flop house. Bomphill, open, and clothes. Now we've got a couple of jumbo tronds here too. The first is looking for a good movie to bounce out the flops, then watch West of her, an indie romance with a twist of mystery, filmed across 10 states and iconic locations from the Midwest plains to the Rocky Mountains, monument valley to Beale Street

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listen to podcasts, or get it at PerdictaCast.com. And we got some big news. And we got some big news. There are a few live shows that we're going to be doing coming up in a few different cities. On May the 26th at 6th and I historic synagogue. We will be doing a live show that evening. I don't have the time right in front of me, but you can get it by going to flopphousepodcast.com and clicking on events. That's DC, Washington DC, our nation's capital on May the 26th, and then on June the 30th.

We will be in Seattle at the Neptune Theater. Seattle's Neptune Theater, this is our first Pacific Northwest show. So come on out and see us. We tried to make Portland work too. We couldn't. We hope that we'll do it in the future. But for now, you know, I don't know, come on, come make the drive from Portland to Seattle. It's not that far. Come on people. And in between those two shows, there's a show that's not on sale yet, but I just want to let you know so you can mark your calendars. Elliot will be back in New York and will be back at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn on June 7th at 8.30pm.

So that's all the news that's fit for your ears right now. And we should go back to what's the live show that we're putting up on the Toronto. We should go back to Toronto for more fun. Before we move on to the next segment, I just want to say that I got a text while we're up on the stage from star of the show, Hally Hagland. Up watch, she can't hear you. Her text says, I am here. Pay attention to me.

So, uh, well, well, uh, are you sure you didn't just write that i'd i told her i'm on the stage in toronto right now she said get off and get here he's prepared to apparently in charlène's bar right now so cool that's a bar in Brooklyn when in Brooklyn visit hinterlands or charlène's bar yeah with hale i guess you may see her in the wild uh... now is the part of the podcast where we're going to talk to the audience.

We're going to stand up, and there's a microphone right over there. And I'm pointing to it for the audience at home. Audience at home, I'm sorry. It's too late. Do not run over to the royal in Toronto and try to get on the microphone, because it is, by the time this reaches your ears, we'll all be dead.

But dead tired of doing this show, just this episode, not the whole series, anyway, go to that microphone and we're gonna answer some questions. There's a thing that I've said that's a little mean and I'll say it again, which is, we've been all developed into a lot of these things where someone gets up and they tell a long story about their own personal relationship

with a fly-pouse or something or Woody Allen or whoever's talking that day. You know what, we're just glad you're here. We know your fans because you're here and that means a lot to us. So let's keep it to questions and not stories because it's take it for granted that we know every introduction to every question

is how much you like us because we really like you a lot too. We know that you're here because you like us and it means a lot to us. So anyway, I'd like to say one other thing down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But why should I say it when I can sing it? Oh, God. But why should I say it when I can sing it? Oh God.

There's a place I know, it's called Toronto. It's a city of love, a city of light, a city of oddly spaced buildings. Sometimes you'll have a big tower of glass, and then right next to it, some kind of little brick thing. It's a weird combination of buildings, but I love it because what it says to me is that, hey, this is a place that I ought to see. Toronto, city of laughs, city of light,

city of other things, but I don't know enough about Toronto To be much more specific than that, I just got in this morning, I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon Not gonna get too sample much of Toronto Might've had a chance when I was a kid. When my family took a driving trip of Canada. But my dad drove right through the city of Toronto. He wasn't interested in stopping in the city of Toronto. Even though the guidebook said it was the home of the world's largest McDonald's. Is it true? I'll never know.

Don't tell me Toronto. Don't tell me Toronto. I want to live in the mystery. That is Toronto. Thank you very much. Thank you. Okay, questions. Where did Dan go?

I got really upset that your song and who laughed. He was really mad because you keep saying Tarantou instead of Tarano like a native. Look, I can't pretend to be anything other than what I am, someone who is not from here. See, I owe that comment to the tour guide who gave me a tour to Niagara Falls yesterday who explained a lot about hockey, told everybody what buffalo wings were, and explained the economics of living in Toronto. He also explained that it's very Canadian to have a two car garage that's attached to the home, which is crazy because everybody's garage is attached to homes, or maybe not,

I don't know, fuck pocket. Did I miss anything? No, I don't worry about it. All right. I learned how to pronounce Toronto. All right. Not Toronto, hitting that second tee. OK. Hey, how you doing?

Great. Thank you. Everybody in Toronto is very excited that you're here. And thank you for coming. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Hayama. I'm happy we thank you. Oh I'm excited to be here Thank you very much. So last night. Oh, well, just a backup. Thank you for coming. I've been a flat-past fan for a long time But you've been a gateway drug to a lot of movies that I probably shouldn't have seen and saw

Yeah, and then told people to see and then saw again. And so now I think I've advanced further than the Flop House is. And I saw, what's that called? That movie last night? Chris? Chris? I saw Dangerous Men. Dangerous Men, OK, don't know.

Which is an Infos movie that is apparently like worse than all of the other movies. And I wanted to know what- Put together? Well, I think it's the same cinematographer as the guy who did Samurai Cop, but he considers it his lesser work. OK. Oh, OK.

So it's astonishing and it's worth seeing, but what's the line for you? What is, like, where does bad bad hit? On the watch, yeah, I see all the outsider stuff and all the otter stuff, but it's like go from good bad bad bad. Yeah, where is it too bad to see? Where's it too bad to see at all? I think there's a movie that you know called Slow Bullet that I believe.

Oh God, love, yeah. Have you ever seen Slow Bullet, Dan? I have not seen Slow Bullet. I've only know it through your... You're hyping it. Slow Bullet Dan? I have not seen Slow Bullet. I've only know it through your... You're hyping it. Slow Bullet is, I think, the worst movie I've ever seen. And I've seen it multiple times by this boy, which I have to ask real questions

about how I'm living my life. But Slow Bullet is a movie, so this might help to answer questions. Slow Bullet is a movie that was produced by Florida Video Store. And... Wouldn't it be in there best interest to make a good movie that people want to rent? Yes, it would be, but that is not what happened with this one. Okay.

And it is about a Vietnam veteran who is struggling with his memories of the war. He wasn't shot in the war, but he was shot with a slow bullet of post-traumatic stress disorder. There's an original heavy metal soundtrack. And as you're doing, and the first like 20 minutes, it feels like the first 20 hours in the movie, he's just in his basement apartment kind of wandering around mumbling to himself in real time. And I once saw it projected in a theater,

but the screen was at floor level. And it looked like we were just watching a guy walking around, muttering to himself. And like and suddenly in that like watching that movie I like started to feel what it must be like to have something terrible hanging over you that you cannot shake and it's like when a bad movie when it when a movie becomes so bad that it has a similar emotional effect to a good movie in that you're like wow I've really really got to question my conception of the world. That's when it's too bad.

Like I want it, it's like there's a movie called Nuke. That's like an E.T. ripoff. It's a harrowing journey. And it's but slow-ball, it's like that's when movies too bad is when it's both boring and traumatic to me. Like a really slow movie about someone just slapping somebody else over and over again for an hour. That would be both boring and traumatic to me. Like a really slow movie about someone just slapping somebody else over and over again for an hour. Like, that would be both boring and traumatic.

I don't want to watch it. Sounds like an anti-warhol film. Yeah, or frankly, almost any comedy made before the sound era. Just nothing but slaps. Not to mention the Lon Cheney film, he who gets slapped. That's a really good movie. I'm very satisfied by that answer. Thank you. Thank you. All right very satisfied by that answer, thank you.

Thank you. All right, next cue, and we'll Agen. Hi, I'm David, last name with Helm. Hello, David. And I appreciate what you're saying before, Elliott, about the ways in which you've, I think you said, writing the privilege train. And I was wondering if folks could share a moment

from your illustrious careers, whether it's in comedy or owning your bar in Hitchfield, hit your lens, in which privilege of some sort played a big role in kind of going to the next step. Oh, geez. We're in privilege, played a big role. Oh, God. We're privileged, help us go to the next step. I mean, I became head writer of a show hosted

by a Jewish guy from New Jersey. Oh, God. We're privileged, help us go to the next step. I mean, I became head writer of a show hosted by a Jewish guy from New Jersey. Oh, God. We're privileged, help us go to the next step. I mean, I became head writer of a show hosted by a Jewish guy from New Jersey. I can't get it was like, yep, this is, I have an unfair

advantage on this one. I was like, it's really good that I can speak, I can kind of like, I speak the same language as John Stewart and I can get into what he's talking about. Oh, that's right, we're from the same place. And we grew up similarly. Yeah, I mean, not to get too serious, but I guess it's a very serious question. I mean, up until recently where I think people are trying to write that boat a little bit in comedy writers rooms or in writers rooms at all. You said write that boat, not ride that boat.

Write that boat, yes. First thing I was going to say, ride that boat. I'm going to ride that boat. Ride into the sunset, baby. Now, to write the ship a little bit, recently people have been trying to improve on this, but in television, you get your job through the people you know, and because for a long time, the people who had the job are like white guys, and they tend to know other white guys,

then it's a self-fulfilling thing. Yeah. And I think I probably got the advantage of being a white guy who knew this white guy over here. He does say, you just have the white guy who helped you get a job, white guy. So, there's that. So, thanks for making me feel bad about recommending you for that job, Dan. And yeah, like getting a bartending job in Brooklyn is not that much different. I mean,

the vast majority of like neighborhood bartenders are great white dudes. And yeah, I mean, it's end, they end up like no other straight white dudes, and then they just get hired by other guy. Like, you know, it's something that I know I'm super aware of, and I try to change, but. And now we've got, I told my vet to sit for three straight white dudes talking about stuff Well, it's about when we shook it up when we're in LA and Stuart could make it by getting a different straight white dude

Unfortunately, it's one of those things that's only fixed by fixing it kind of like it reinforces itself Yeah, but I get what you mean. All right now we've downed everybody. Let's get to the next question Oh yeah. Oh, but I get what you mean. All right, now we've downed everybody. Let's get to the next question. Hi, Woody last name with help. I was wondering if there is a particular theme or trope in film where you'll watch the movie no matter how bad the reviews

are, give it a shot that kind of thing. Because I like any movie where it's about the last tarot or the end of an era or something like that. The thing that Westerns do very well, like Sergio Leone movies or no country for old men or something like that where oh, new technology comes in and it changes everything, but we're going to have one last of the old stuff before that happens. Like I like that kind of, is there a thing that like you're like, oh, that's the thing and I'll watch this, you know, it doesn't matter if it's

going to be good or bad, but I like that thing. Yeah, it's a movie called Cheeky and it's about butt. No. Very honest answer. I mean, I think the real answer is, it's like heist movies. I just like heist movies, but that's kind of boring. So let's move on to someone else. Can answer that.

Someone in the Far-row said, Cheeky is very good. I'm gonna rebut that and say Cheeky is not very good. I will say that for what it is, Cheeky is very good. A butt delivery system? Yeah. It delivers on its promise. If I'm gonna judge it on its own intentions,

that is the best movie ever made. I mean, I like, I don I watch almost any Slasher movie, and I know they're all terrible, and intellectually I know that they're bad to like, but I can't help like, it's that fucking nostalgia shit where you're just like, I need it. I, it's my comfort zone of movie to watch. I watch, and I watch just about any movie

that was shot in New York in the 70s, because that's like a mythical time for me. And I only got to see the last vestiges of it in the 80s. But anything where I can, where it's shot on location, I'm like, everything's so grimy. Like I'll watch it. Anyone who's wearing like a dingy plaid jacket. Love it. Yes. All these people are kind of good at their jobs, but they're just doing their jobs and

they're kind of grumpy about it. Yeah, anything and everyone and everything is all oranges and browns and tans, like in Tia. That's all the colors of everything. Beiges, love that stuff, yeah. I hope that answers it. Absolutely, thank you very much. Hi, I'm Liz.

Last name, definitely withheld. Whoa, okay, sorry. It's Canadian Wait, this protection system. Yeah, it would be confusing for anyone who's trying to find me because I'm changing my last name. Oh, okay. You know what, I'm sorry we opened this can of worms. Anyway, so there are a lot of filmmakers that consistently make bad bad movies.

And I was wondering if you have a favorite director who transitioned from that to making good bad movies or movies kind of like. I guess what I'm asking is, is there hope for Colin Trevorow to come back in the fold and make the Pond of Bob a one cool and a Star Wars story. Oh, I would so love a Pond of Bob a movie. He is maybe my favorite Star Wars character. Do you think he has a face that looks like a butt? And his buddy is always getting him into trouble. I mean, when we were about to watch this movie, I was like looking into the future, like at the end of Raising Arizona, and there's like, I was looking at like a magazine headline with a picture of Colin Trevaron.

It's like, getting fired from Star Wars was the best thing that ever happened to me. But I don't think that's coming up. You never know. I mean, so many great directors came out of the Korman factory, where Roger Korman would hire them to make cheap stuff that like, for all the really fun movies that came out of the Korman factory, where Roger Korman would hire them to make cheap stuff that like for all the really fun movies that came out of Korman's company, a lot of bad ones did, that are not worth watching. But like they all made the turn.

These are still young folks working out their dreams. Yeah, I mean unfortunately I feel like it goes the opposite direction most of the time. Like someone comes out with some sort of brilliant thing out of the gate and then makes direct later on like I was really surprised recently to find out that the guy who made Wagon fright which is a favorite of mine a great Australian war movie yeah he went on he's the same guy who made Weekend at Bernie's you got to know what you're talking about sounds great yeah I mean it shows a lot

of range that's for sure. But you got to earn money to buy food, you know? Is it possible that he missed her the title and he thought weekend at Bernie's was... Was Waking at Bernie's? It was Waking at Bernie's, it's like, huh? Yeah, it was a sequel. An American version of my very Australian movie. Yeah, it's tough.

I mean, for the most part, I totally agree with you guys. Like, it's always, it's usually always at least for the most part, I'm totally agree with you guys like it's always it's it's usually always at least some glimmer of good early on and then it. Yeah, sad. Thanks for bringing the room down with all of our answers. Hi guys, Rich lasting with help. I want to know about the people who you reference frequently on the show if you've ever heard feedback from them. For example, someone like a Nicholas Cage or a Neil Brie or local Oatour Frank D'Angelo. We were considered doing a Frank D'Angelo movie

for this and I know I was kind of scared that he would come by. Well, that actually leads me to the second question, which is sort of part of that, which is that if you actually had the opportunity to record an episode of the show featuring someone who you were talking about, like if Neil Breene said, Hey, man, I'll come to your place and we'll record an episode of the podcast. Was that something? Oh, is that something you wouldn't want to do with a man? You know, I know where we live. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, he's, yeah, of course, but I would be brightened to meet him, but I want to. Someone once wrote in and told us that they told Mads Michelson about the show and Mads Michelson thought it was okay, like the idea of it was okay.

But that's yet to be ascertained whether that was a true story or not. Yeah, I mean, the closest that we've come to this is obviously when Chris Whites of Twilight New Moon wrote into the show, he's a listener. And many other things. Many, no, that's why he was on our show. Yeah, that's true. He was not on our show for a bad boy, a genuinely good movie, that he wrote and directed.

But he's become sort of friendly with him. We had dinner with him. He's a very nice man. He's very nice about that. He didn't poison our dinners. We made fun of his movie. Yeah, I mean, when we first started doing the show, we assumed that we would never, ever have anyone ever

involved in making a movie, ever reach out to us in any capacity. And I think it was a couple of years when, like, what was it, the writer for Sorority Row wrote to us? And was like, hey, I'd love to be a guest on your podcast. I'm like, we already did a show on Sorority Row. I don't know. Like, do you want to talk about some more?

Like, it's not kind of what we do. It was kind of like, it was kind of cool, but we kind of baffled. We're like, we're not like an interview podcast. Like, I don't, there's a lot of those, but I think we would. We barely even talk about the movies we want. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's the answer. There's a lot of those, but I think we would we barely even talk about the movies we want.

Yeah, I guess that's the, the answer. I feel like all of these, I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm

I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm shows that the questions are always a parade of us disappointing the answer. It doesn't mind the questioner. With an answer that kind of trails off and we're like, I don't know. Well, okay, goodbye. And yet we still do it. But I think we're going to break the mold here on this next one. Let's put a lot of pressure on this next question. The answer we give to it is going to be the best answer in the history of answers. I know.

Step aside. Because this is one dialogue. That's for history. Alright, let's go. I joined the wrong place in line. Caitlin, last name with help. Yesterday, me and my partner watched the Book of Henry. And the beginning of the movie.

I'm like, you guys, I hated the kid. I'm like, this kid is going to grow up into a game regator. And the movie, for sure. For sure. Yeah, and by the end, I cried three times. Because of how manipulative this movie was and like, an emotions, like the scene, there's a scene with Peter and Ben after Henry dies.

And he has the Valky talkie that he'd always talk to with his brother on his bed. And I'm like, oh my god, I'm like, oh, and then I hated this movie even more. So I was wondering, what movie you were the most angry at that made you emotional? For example, Dan mentioned in a dog's purpose that that movie kind of got to you

because of the loss of your pet. Was there a movie even worse than that where you were like, this movie's getting to me and I hate it so much more for it or was maybe that the line? That's a really good question, which is what we say when we have to kill time. I know that's happened to me, but it's hard for me to think any the top of my head. I will say that when I was a kid and I watched a lot of sitcoms,

there were a lot of moments in sitcoms from bad sitcoms. I didn't like, but I watched them because they're on TV. I'm a kid. I don't have anything to do. And would I be like, I would get wrapped up in the emotion of it where I'd feel bad for it. There's this one full house episode where my favorite character on the show, you could probably guess which one it is. Can we get one? Well, can we give it as number two? Uncle Joey, favorite character on the show,

he has some kind of a hockey rivalry with this other guy. And finally, at the end, he has some kind of a hockey rivalry with this other guy, and finally at the end, he beats him in hockey, and the other guy is a total asshole to the entire show. You want to see him be taken down, and there's just one shot of that guy sitting on the ice, just his face is falling. And you in this moment, you're like, oh, this, Dave Cooley has a family. This guy has nothing but hockey. And now Uncle Joey has taken that from him.

Like, he has nothing now. And I remember as a kid feeling so sad. Like, so sad at that moment. I really felt for that guy. Terrible. I don't know if I can say anything after that. I mean, I can't think of anything specific, so this is a terrible answer, but I mean, making me cry is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Like, if you've listened to the podcast, I think that you know that I'm always just this side of being in tears. So, I mean, like, fucking commercials make me cry. And I'm angry about it every time. Like, any time I express emotions, I'm like, damn it, this is stupid. This is stupid that water comes out of my eyes and it's stupid that I'm expressing it. This is all stupid. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty stupid now. No, Dan, it's cool.

It's okay. That's just you, everybody. I, let me see, like Braveheart or like Gladiator movies like that where I don't really like him that much and they feel really manipulative, but at the same time, like, yeah, a read-um. Yeah, dude. That's similar to how trailers do that to me, not crying, but like, every trailer's cut the same way

where it's like, wall line of dialogue, wall, and then there's like, silence, and then something crazy happens, and then the title, and then one last line, and then wall, and it's like, just and then there's like, some silence. And then something crazy happens. And then the title, and then one last line, and then, well, and it's like, just just, and you're like, who is the man? Wait, it's Yoda. You got me moving.

No, you got me. You got me. But I can feel like just described. I hear a telling, it might be movie, who's the man. Which would have been an even weirder reference to me. I just describing it, I can feel the hairs tingling on the back of my neck like, oh, that format for cutting trailers does it to me.

And I hate it so much because I'm like, Ody, you know exactly what's going on here, but it still thrills me. I hope that helps. Yeah, thanks guys, it helps. I hope that helps with your problem. I just wish we should speed up. Okay.

I'm Josh, last name withheld. So you guys have gone on record about how much you love the Brandon Graham's profit series? Yeah, I'm going to be doing it. Yeah. Which started out as a Rob Laifeld character. And I don't want to talk to you shit about Rob Laifeld. He can, it's okay.

He's not here, right? Okay, cool. I don't want to talk to you shit about Rob Lifehub. He's not here, right? I don't know. He's busy not drawing a character's feet. He's busy putting small little lines all over everything. But my question is, can you guys think of any examples in movies where either a sequel or a reimagining is, if not better, at least vastly different than its source material. I can think of two.

One where the source material is great. And one where it's all right, like the new plan of the Apes movies, the old plan of the Apes movies, I love. The first plan of the Apes movie is genuinely a great film. And the other ones are really fun. But the new plan of the Apes movies, I'm like, they did a good job with these. These are really, really good. But also like the old The Fly,

been surprised and everything. I think it's an alright movie. It's good, but the David Cronenbrook The Fly is like, it's like a totally different way to take it and it's so creepy and close. Yeah, I was gonna say the same thing with the thing. Oh yeah. The old The Thing, perfectly good to sign five flick,

but then the John Harper thing is like, what am I watching? This is amazing. It's an alien turning into a dog in front of my very eyes and it gets authentically. Don't defibrillate that guy's chest, it's gonna turn into a mouth. And the score is so great.

Yeah, it's great. And you're gonna take the contrary stance that John hummers the thing sucks because I'll have to fight you. No, I'm not coming up with anything very good. I mean, like there's stuff like, I don't know, like vertigo that was based on like a short story, like a pulp short story that no one remembers or something like that, but. In French, too. Yeah.

French story. I don't know why you're specifying that. Just to have some more white people on it. It's because we're in Canada We look at like I mean like the godfather is it kind of a hot boy. We won't make it Yeah, it's a great thing art and then they turned it into a video game All right, thank you. Thank you very much Hi, I'm sorry. Hi, I'm Julian. Last name was held. I do. Just say no. I'm friends with Frank, the angel is Godson. Oh

Do not tell him we're here. He's a cool guy. He knows the Frank. He's well aware that Frank, the angel was crazy. Oh, okay. I found out that he was a grant son because I was insulting Frank D'Angelo to him. And he was like, that's hilarious. That's my godfather. He was actually. He took him up for smokes and asked him if he likes movies at his showing of Sicilian vampire. Anyway, I have a question, like a sort of the same question, but a different question for everybody. So for Elliot, if you could make any movie with so vustus to loan What would it be for Dan if you can make any movie with Nick Cage and Stewart any movie with Stewart Gordon

Wait if I could make a movie with yeah, like as an actor or just helping you direct Wow Hard to know there's so much possibility So vustus alone can do it all. He's amazing. Maybe has there ever been a movie about like a tough guy who becomes a kindergarten cop? Are you thinking of kindergarten cop too? Yeah, starring Dolph Longgren. That's the one I'm thinking of.

I don't know. Like, you know, like like you might have another Rambo in him. Because we haven't seen Rambo die on screen yet. But this time, no, I know the movie. I would make, OK, there's a story that I wanted to do as a comic book once a long time ago based on the true tale, supposedly, that the KGB agents to assassinate John Wayne, because he was too valuable to American propaganda and the FBI stopped it.

And I wanted to do a story called John Wayne vs. Russia where John Wayne, he just wades a shore on one end of Russia and he just battles his way across until he gets to Stalin. And it started growing into this kind of like league of disreputable Hollywood gentleman where like, Errol Flynn is there and Robert Mitchum is there. Like all these guys who had kind of like,

shady or criminal events in their lives, I remember them to earn their freedom by helping John Wayne stop Russia. So best of the slow and replay John Wayne. Okay, I was gonna ask. Yeah, I was about to ask. Yeah. So it's like, you can pull it off.

I think that the answer would also, again, have to be cheeky. Okay, interesting. Oh, put Nicholas Cage in it. As cheeky? A little something for the ladies. Who doesn't want to see Nicholas Cage's butt for two hours? Just a static shot? Just a static shot of his butt.

We're not really like, it's a loose remake of Cheeky. Somebody cried out an ecstasy. Yeah, and I mean, I guess with Stuart Gordon, maybe like the Donut Chor or some other classic lovecraft story, because I like what he does with those he makes a extra gross Okay, cool. Thanks. Thank you These are good questions. Let's keep it moving Carter last name with held Elliot you said that you only recently started taking notes because you moved to LA

So I'm wondering if you if the three of you either wondering if the three of you either, Dan and Stuart and Brooklyn or UNLA have run into other types of production problems or challenges that you've had to come up with creative solutions to now that you're recording across the country that you could share? Not so much creative solutions. There's just been technical difficulties.

Yeah, there's been a lot of technical glitches that I've had to devolume. And also I had to explain why you could hear a helicopter passing by my house in a recent episode. I mean, most of the time, it's just Elliott fucking talking and we just have a tape of me going, uh-huh. Sure. Oh, dude. I have found that like, it's already hard for me to break in on Elliott talking, but it's

even harder when I'm like looking at him on a Skype screen because it feels like I'm just watching like the Elliot show on television. And I kind of forget that it's part of my job to talk to him. That's why if you'll notice more often I've been trying to go, what do you think about that Dan? Or I'll set up a premise and be like, Dan, what would that be like? Which in the improv world is called pimping and it's frowned upon because maybe the other person doesn't have something to say. But I guess I'll learn something tonight. I appreciate the impulse.

Hey, look, every recording I feel like is us jumping off a cliff and hoping there's something we can land on down there. Yeah. I think another problem is we also, because we're not all together, we don't always watch the movie all together right before we record, which is what you know. Which is in some ways good because it can be fucking exhausting to watch a long movie and then have to talk about it right away. And it got to the point where I had to stop drinking during the movies because I'd get so sleepy.

Probably the audience's like, aww. But the best ones are when Stuart wasted. But the best ones are wins do were wasted. But we often watch them on our own or sometimes they and I watch it together, you know, because we're friends. But we'll watch it a couple days before the taping and yeah, you forget some of the details. Yeah, it's not fresh in your mind the same way. But there's trade-offs with every new development. Yeah, that's it. That's the answer. Now, can you hear a good story? Let's see just the things about. Oh, hello. Hi guys. Emily, last name with help. Hello. First of all, welcome to Canada and I'm very glad that all three of you were able to come. So my question is,

given that we're in Toronto, otherwise known as Hollywood North. Who knows it? By that. We do. That's what we call it. I have to say. And Hollywood, I've never heard of it before. No, but us as Hollywood North. And I would like to visit our Northern campus. In Toronto.

I've heard they call Hollywood South Toronto. I would like visit our Northern campus. And Tom. I've heard they call Hollywood, South Toronto. I would buy that. I believe that. What are some of your favorite examples of movies that are clearly filmed in Toronto, a.k.a Hollywood North, or another Canadian city, but are set in a major American city, like New York, or gonna block the first one. The first one is the Bronx. A Bronx where the gangs ride around in like Dunebuggies with like colorful street.

Yeah, the Bishnough capped mountains of the Bronx. All right, I would also say your own Frank D'Angelo in his movie No Deposit where I I guess it must be like a New York bank, but it's on a road with a tree line right behind it. And it's clearly just like off somewhere in the suburbs. I don't know. Somewhere in the Canadian wilderness, there's this bank or whatever building he used to stand in for a bank.

And it doesn't look very good. But you know, I'm on the Bronx. There's a thing, Rubble the Bronx is a genuinely fun movie. And there's a certain point where I start to like the fact that so clearly not shot in the Bronx. Because it's like, I guess this is like the Jackie Chan version of the Bronx. Yeah, I- This is nothing to do with the fact that it's shot in Canada? But I just love the fact that that movie ends with him running a helper craft over the guy

and his butt is showing out because he's shaped the butt off his pants and like everyone's like, yeah! Like, we've defeated the villain! Like, everything solved now! Also, runner up every episode of the X-Files. Yeah. Like, you know, Langley, Virginia.

No, it's not. Come on. Thank you. That's the Arizona desert. Come on. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks. All right.

Step right up. Get in close to the end here. And don't advertise your joy at that back. But so openly. Hi, Peach. It's Matt, last name with help. So good news. Flop House has been optioned to a major emotion picture, but we need a little help with this game place.

It has! Have you heard it, everybody? Yeah! Screw this, then! Oh, no, it's the Weinstein company. Oh, no. Oh, no. Dan, sorry, I talked over your heel click.

Damn, it was doing one bit, and I was doing another bit. I went to bits collide. There's just a little bit, so I'm lying around everywhere. Just trying to say we need some help with the screenplay. I want to save the cat moment for each of you. Save the cat moment for each of us. I guess what the thing we got to achieve or the... Well, the thing that endears you as the protagonist really?

Okay. Dears as the protagonist earlier? Okay. Dears as the protagonist? It wouldn't permit us to be... So what would happen is I would kick open the door, holding pizza and say, who wants pizza? I would be unsafe because I... We would open up the pizza.

And unfortunately, half the pizza's already been eaten by me. I feel like that would be unsafe because the audience in the theater would jump out of the seats and rush to the screen for the pizza. already been eaten by me. I feel like that would be unsafe because the audience in the theater would jump out of the seats and rush to the screen for the pizza. Rip through it, oligremlins. I feel like mine's like too real.

It would just be like, it would be like a, just revealing my bachelor lifestyle. It would be one of those things where you see me coming home, opening the fridge, looking in, and it's a wall of condiments on the wall, and no actual food in the fridge. Like, this is what happens when you become a single man, is you have three different types of mustard,

and nothing that you would put the mustard on. So you're telling me that in the movie, a single man, Colin Firth, otherwise a very stylish and put together person. Yeah. It's just a refrigerator full of condiments. Yeah. And he's just standing in his beautifully tailored suits, what over the sink just pouring ketchup into his mouth.

Or relish. I mean, he is Colin Firth. Yeah, maybe it's relish, yeah. Yeah, I think for me, if you still don't just show me with my happy home life, life. Oh, God. Riff Ridge, a rater full of delicious food stuffs. And then it all gets... Yeah, and an email inbox,

with notifications from friends. Too many social occasions to deal with. Oh, so I'm sorry, Dan. Dan has stepped behind the screen, which would also be a great name for your bio behind the screen. And then that would all be taken away from me in a moment. I'd have to get it back.

Oh, no. Book a Job style, who'd taken my fight to God himself. Here, gold, we'll call you. Okay, thank you. Now I kind of want to make an action movie out of the Book of Job. And it's like, uh-oh, BAMITS in town. That's all bragging about how he created Behemoth, everything. Anyway, not a lot of Bible scholars in the audience.

Hello, there, Jeff, last name withheld. What are my favorite movies of all time is LA Confidential. And this is a movie that basically Kim Basinger was the only person that anybody heard of in the movie. But then everyone else in the movie became huge, at least for a few years in certain cases. What are the movies? James Cromwell.

Exactly, like teenage girls were putting poster James Cromwell on their back thing. They were ripping down, I don't know who teenage girls liked in the early, in late 90s, I don't know, Richard Marx. I don't know. I think you're very Canadian, sir, thank you. Anyways, what are some other movies that featured a lot of unknowns that it was their big star break?

Well, looking back, it's weird that like, Saven Private Ryan has a fair amount of that, like Vin Diesel is in that before he was Vin Diesel, and you watch it now and you're like, how last time for Vin Diesel to do in this movie? It's like, oh right, because he wasn't been easily yet. But there's a, there's, for like, based in computer, people talk about a lot. It's like it's got a ton of future stars, but then also these like local, but you never heard of it.

Again, I'm so sure you can go two ways in this life. Sometimes she's a grizzly man, sometimes she's a bartender on cheers. I just watched, I watched a working girl recently. And there's a young Kevin Spacey in it. That's really great. Yeah, it's easy to think of ones where there's just one or two people.

It's harder to come up with it. My brain went to a fast times that raised my high, but then I'm like, well, it's not like Judge Reinhold became the toast of Hollywood or something like that. He was in vice versa. He was on the poster for vice versa. And he puts that on his resume. I was on the poster for vice versa.

Special skills can appear on posters. Special skills. Cameras will photograph me. But I guess, yeah, it's fun to watch those movies back and you're like, oh, wait a minute, I didn't know all these people were in this movie. I thought they were just nobody's, turns out there were somebody's in the making. Oh, thank you very much. Thank you.

I'm being very pithy and you guys are not liking it very much. No. Thank you. Last question. A full pith. Andre last name withheld? In Sicilian Vampire, there is definitely an element of, wow, how did they get James Con? What formally?

Money! There's a certain thing that anyone, no matter how great an artist, needs to survive. Especially if like James Con, they had a very messy divorce very recently. We're not recently, I don't know, he claims this divorce for doing that movie, I don't know, but money, anyway, sorry. What formerly Oscar nominated but currently washed up actor, would you really like to get to get started on the flop? I was just make everyone go, wow,

how did I think I got that guy or girl? Ooh, I mean, I feel like we would, I, there are plenty of actors who are in that same family of like, we'll work for food. You know, like- The ball in a family. Yeah, the ball in a family. Like, uh, F. Murray Abraham, brilliant and amadeus,

like, we'll appear in anything. We'll appear in your Domino's Pizza commercial if you- if you pay him in Domino's Pizza. I don't think you should be his agent anymore. You're like, f f remembered a mail me my slice. That's my commission. You said you you drove a hard bargain for me while the pizza. So is that who you want on the show? Who would you want? Who would you want?

Who'd you want you, F. Ray Abraham? He's a lot of good stories. Yeah, man. He's a great actor. Why do you think that it's surprising? F. Ray Abraham. This is not the name I expected this day. We're talking about Oscar-nominated actors, right?

Oscar-winning. Oscar-winning. So I would say Lansingerson. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm going to pull it in. I'm going to check this Didn't he win for what?

Millennium was that a show? Can that win? Pumpkinhead, he won it for Pumpkinhead guys. This supporting vintage ad for Pumpkinhead. You have four Pinoccos for this, it's a theory. I just recently watched Pumpkinhead and I was like, man, I wish Blanc's Henrickson was in more stuff. I should see what he's doing now, but then I'm like, wait a minute.

He's an old guy. He might be now, but then I'm like, wait a minute. He's an old guy. He might be a bad person, I'm like, no. So I didn't look it up. I'm ignorant. If it makes you feel any better, it's my understanding that he mostly just does pottery now. Oh, that sounds great. Yeah. So he's like Peter Weller, where Peter Weller was like, I'm tired of being a Robocop. I'm gonna go to Archaeology School. Yeah. And then he went on to direct a bunch of episodes of Suns of Anarchy. Oh, did he?

I guess he was like, I'm tired of Archaeology. He's telling me to get back into Tinsletown. I thought I'd get a lot more fame and glory from all this Archaeology. And watch all those writers, those Indiana Jones movies and I got the wrong impression. Yeah, I thought Archaeologists lived an exciting life and he threw up an old pot that he had discovered down,

and it cracked into pieces. Lance Hendrix and watch my ears like, wait a minute. I think I can do something with that. And a rape potter was born. Harry Potter. The world's favorite boy wizard. Son of Beatrix Potter.

Yeah. Words do sound like other words, guys. They certainly do. In this language, I don't know if it works in other languages. I'm having trouble thinking of anybody, but I'm sure there's tons of them. You know, it's like you always have lots of people winning Oscars and then, you know, you start to sustain that sort of thing. But I'll think of one and I will announce it to the heavens. Later date and I'll really hear it.

You'll think of one, you'll write it on the heavens. You'll later date and hopefully you'll hear it. You'll think of one, you'll write it on a piece of paper, you'll pour some poutine over it, and you'll mail it back to this gentleman. But I get to eat the rest of the poutine, right? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's just one of the things. I just wanted to say all of it. Okay, not even most, though, right? Because I want as big a portion as I can get.

Okay, we'll talk about your portion of Poutine off air. More than one quarter. Portion. The Star Wars reference stand. Sorry. Okay, I'm done. So that's our show? Thank you.

Thanks everybody. As always, another... Oh, thank you. Another flop house ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper. As I beg for my nightly poutine and Dan, that's the key me honest. This will mean nothing to the listeners at home who listen into this later on, but we will be hanging out a little bit after the show at the Monarch Bar, which is just around the corner. If you want to say hi, that's where we'll be. Yeah, come see us on the second floor, I believe. Yes.

But you still want to thank everyone for coming out. Just thank people coming out and thank the theater for having me. And being like nice to them this time. Think about what you little want someone to see to you and then say it to them. They came to love you guys. I love you guys. Now thank you for coming out. Thanks to Canada for letting us into your borders.

Thanks to Toronto specifically for having us here. Thanks to the Royal Theatre. That's where we're at, right? Yep. They've been really nice and really helpful and really welcoming. And is there anything going on in the lobby that we should mention? You want to say go Maple Leafs or something? They would love that. They would love that. Go Maple Leafs.

I loved it. OK, say something about Raptors. I won't say sorry. I can't open that cano worms again. We should just wrap up, right? Yeah. Thanks for what we're doing. Thanks for coming. And we're really awkward. Thank you, thank you,

thank you, thank you, thank you. I thank the theater already. Jesus Christ, you guys are setting me up to fail. Okay, figure it out. All right, we should probably go then. Thank you so much. Hi everybody, thank you. Is he still selling stuff? I don't know. We don't know whether he's still selling stuff But if he is Tony Oker was selling some stuff outside and who are you? I've been scoy and I've been Stewart Wellington and I've been Elliott Kalen. This is a mess. Good night, everybody. Good night, everybody. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. That was very educational. I was not expecting that. I'm going to check your notes after this. Oh, about your podcast. About your podcast? We rehearsed this bit before, guys. Yeah, I totally messed it up.

This is the class. The class is the class. Yeah, I'm going to check it out. I'm going to check it out. I'm going to check it out. I'm going to check it out. I'm going to check it out. I'm going to check it out.

I'm going to check it out. I'm going to check it out. I'm going to check it out. I'm going to check it out. I'm going to check it out. I'm going to check it out. I'm going to check it out. Oh, about your podcast. About your podcast? We rehearsed this bit before, guys. Yeah, totally messed it up. It was like glasses. We're glasses. Damn, all right.

Do you need to sit down for a little bit? Guy, maybe everybody will leave for like five minutes. Well, we do this a lot before the podcast, which you guys don't know about, is, Stuart and I have to shrink down to tiny size, getting Dan's mouth and subdue his tongue. So that it will listen to the commands he gives it, and that doesn't go rogue.

I make my living with words, people. LAUGHTER Uh, so... Dan, was that the basis of the hit film, Rogue Tongue? A Star Wars tale? LAUGHTER I don't even know whether jokes work anymore.