The Flop House - Ep. #257 - The Greatest Showman

Episode Date: May 12, 2018

Because Huge Ackman so desperately wanted to do a big, original musical, we found ourselves watching The Greatest Showman. And it sure is... showy. Meanwhile, Elliott names off cold-based DC villains, Stuart has feelings on the name Phineas, and Dan apparently goes into a brief memory coma. Wikipedia synopsis for The Greatest Showman Movies recommended in this episode The Little Hours Ingrid Goes West The Endless

On this episode we discuss the greatest showman. His name? Dan McCoy. Oh hey there, Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington. Dan McCoy, Stuart Wellington, all the ghosts of those I've wronged have come to visit me, Elliot Kaylen. And I bring spectral chains to bind you with. No.

Each link of those chains was forged in my life. Yeah, why'd you forge those chains in your life? It seems like it's just really come back to bite you in the ass. Yeah, the chains did bite me in the ass. Wait, a mix of metaphors there, Dan. Brilliant work, Mr. Poet. Anyway, I, I, I, I, forged those chains because I wanted to be like the guy who founded Patagonia, who started out by building his own mountain climbing equipment, just as a

blacksmith. What's his name, Cliff Patagonia? Cliff Patagonia. And now he's a very wealthy man who loves the earth and his company helps to destroy it by enabling rich assholes to go on very expensive vacations. Do they're close feature like animal products the way that those Canada goose jackets are like the product of like fox hunting? Oh really? I'm a fan. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. They're like, there's, there's like all these protests. But that seems like

such an old fashioned way to get like a fox. If that's what you want for clothing. Yeah, it's either. Wait, Dan, it's not like, it's not like the fox is sewn into the lining of the jacket. What are you talking about? I don't know what the new thing old modern way to get a fox stand. What's the 21st century way to get a fox farming? Get Fox Farms going on. Oh, like that Angelina Jolie movie Fox farm. Yeah.

Wait, is that the one where Chevy J seats hog balls? You're thinking of not funny farm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a sequel to funny farm. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, that's a sequel to funny farm. You know, who love funny farm? Roger Ebert. Even like three and a half stars. Was there like a Bucsum lady in it? I don't know.

I don't remember. He does love those or he do love them. Um, yeah, poor guy. RIP. Anyway, what do we do on this podcast Dan? Well other than disparage Robert Roger Ebert. He's brother Robert Ebert whose name is almost an in a gram for itself but not quite. Try again next time Robert Ebert. Not enough letters in your last name, dude. And of course, RoboDeeBurt, which, of course, Deely Clause, Crush, Gene Ciscal.

Oh, boy, you thought your family was weird. Anyway, so are you just reading the like line on the bottom of the video box? Of the ebert boys, the rousing comedy. It's so Roger Ebert is a film critic. His brother Robert Ebert now wants to be a film critic and their other brothers are robot and they've all got to lose their virginity and Tijuana during spring break. Yeah. That sounds great. and they've all got to lose their virginity and Tijuana during spring break. Yeah.

That sounds great. Anyway, on this podcast. So what do we do on this podcast and other than pitch brilliant ideas for movies? We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Uh huh. And this time around, we watched a movie called The Greatest Showman. Uh huh.

Now I remember, oh wait, are you gonna say how there's some controversy about our choice of this one? Yeah, but you can go on. Because it was a very successful movie, both financially and with certain critics. Yeah, I remember Elliott really wanted to do this movie and he's like, can we do that thing to that piece of shit looking great as Shaman? And I'm like, I think it still sounds a lot like Elliott. It was like the stealth hit. Well, let me go check my, let me check my real quick guys.

Let me check the tomato meter. The thermometer for the thermometer for it is probably pretty high. I mean, it made like $400 million or something. Like it's, it wasn't a sleeper hit, as you would say. If anyone could fall asleep during all those when bombastic musical numbers. That thermometer, well, with the critics, no thanks, a 56%.

That's a green splat right on its face. Now, guys, somebody ring up my friends. Somebody ring up my friend, Charlie Booker, because what if, what if, now hear me out? What if, now, just don't interrupt. I think you wanna hear this whole idea. Yep, ready. What if, what if somebody invented

a rotten tomato meter for life? Okay, so just, that's a black mirror episode. I mean, yes. I mean, I guess, I guess just Venmo me, the money for that idea. No, but Venmo, that's another Black Mirror episode right there. We're coming up with great ideas for Black Mirror. What if you could Venmo?

What if you could Venmo emotions? What? So wait, is it like a chip in your brain or is it attached to a robot? And that robot will like make you feel good. That's the greatest thing. We don't have to explain it. We just say it. And then we have kind of like a pretty standard drama between two people, but they send emotions to each other over phones. So like there'll be a scene where a kid is graduating and instead of openly congratulating their

kid, the parents just Venmo them the emotion of congratulations. Yes, I realize now this is very similar to the movie The Delibrium. Yeah, exactly. This is very similar movie. You know, all the like, garfusions are against the law. Yeah, well that's not similar.

You're one of them, you're just so good. Well, I will be because both, no, it'll be similar because both the emotions are against the law on that movie Yeah, cuz I thought the whole movie is just a gun food delivery system I mean it is but the high concept was that emotions are against the law anyway Chuck Brooker get us get involved with us Tell us you know we got plenty ideas for black mirrors like for instance What if okay people love? for black mirrors. Like for instance, what if, okay, people love animated gifts of like QCats, what if they liked animated gifts of people getting killed? That's another one right

there. Yeah, that's, that's, that's just sensitized. Yeah, and it's a world we could live in today, except we won't. I guess you know what, guys, I just feel stung by that last season of black mirror, which I felt like was not as good as the other ones. Maybe I'm being too harsh. I mean, I think you're, I think it reached a kind of, I don't know, let's just use the word equilibrium again. Okay. It just kind of like leveled out and the highs weren't as high and the lows weren't as low as just, eh.

Yeah, I think you're right. So anyway, the greatest showman, that's what we're talking about today, right? I both haven't watched Black Mirror and I was fiddling around with the Skype call trying to fix some technical difficulties. So I'm sorry if I sort of dipped out the conversation way for a while. You didn't want to piss off Mr. Television. Yeah. Who runs that show and all things.

Who might hire you someday. Who knows? Dan doesn't want to burn any bridges right now. Yeah. Especially right now of all times, when the Cherry Blossom Festival is going on across the street and it's making Stuart's parking difficult. I don't understand other two things related all, but I accept your... Yeah, that's the untold behind the scene story of how we're recording late today

because Stuart's parking was difficult because Stuart decided to drive to somewhere in New York like a fucking sign-filled character I am a lot like a sign-filled character. Which so you're you know, you're clearly Kramer right? I think so. Yeah, I mean I think Like yeah, and I think Dan and I are both George. Yeah. And Halle is Elaine. That goes without saying. So wait, I don't have to, I don't have to say all that bad stuff at that comedy club, right? You do.

You have to be racist because you're a framer now. No, no. No. This briefly changed into a behind, floppest behind the music episode. And now it's just the Seinfeld cast. I guess. So speaking of Seinfeld, none of the stars of Seinfeld appear in the greatest showmen, which is too bad because Verge could stand to himself.

Jason Alexander is a noted song and dance man, Tony Award winner, from his work on Broadway. But he's not in this. But so here's why I want to do this movie so badly. One, it is a big spectacle musical of the type that you don't see that much of anymore. Basically, this and La La Land are the only ones I can think of since what like, Mulan Rouge, and I'm not counting like Beauty and the Beast. Like adaptations of pre-existing musicals are like Broadway shows that became movies like Jersey Boys.

Like I'm not counting those. I those I mean like an original to the screen Big budget musical although in this case It kind of feels like a Broadway show that they just snuck a camera into at certain times But I really like also because from everything I saw about it it looked Really dumb and I guess is it gonna turn out to have been dumb? You'll find out on tonight's episode of The Flop House. Join us, won't you? We ignite at nine on WPI X New York's movie station, Channel 11. Mm hmm. Okay.

Well, we finished the promos. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Oh, Elliot. No. Come back. I got some bad news for you, Elliot. You're gonna have to cancel your plans. Oh, no. So guys, should we go through what happens in the greatest showmen and find out whether it is indeed the greatest show? Because it's like, you wanna say,

welcome to all my friends to the show that never ends. But it doesn't. It's only an hour and 44 minutes long. Yeah, by the way, I was sitting at home watching it and my main thought was there's got to be a greatest snowman meme out there and sure enough there was. Oh great. Yep. What is the greatest snowman? Is it? I guess frosty I assume. Yeah, mean was zero upset. I mean, they just had the snowman from the snowman.

They were in one. Oh, man, the saddest snowman. Yeah, sucks. Dan, can you name another snowman other than Frosty? Jack Frost. Not a snowman. Which one? Or do you mean the movie Jack Frost?

Yeah. Of the movie. Jack Frost, the person on the phone is getting cold. There's not a snowman. No, I understand. I was talking about the movie, Jack, for us. Oh, the which one? The horror movie or the Michael Keaton movie? I think I was thinking of the horror movie because you could argue whether Michael Keaton

and the Michael Keaton movie was purely a snowman. Yeah, I mean, today. Today. Today. Today. Today. Today. Today.

Today. Today. Today. Today. Today. Yeah. And he doesn't have, he doesn't have organs or anything, right? Nobody, I mean, he has a mouth, he has a mouth organ on harmonica because he's like a jazz musician in the movie. Oh, he is. I think I didn't realize. We're a musician. Okay. I think I didn't realize he was dead in the movie

because that seems pretty bleak for a children's film. I thought he probably just turned into a snowman to learn a lesson or something. No, no, he said maybe he comes back, but he's like a dad who never, who was never around his kids because he was busy being a bluesman and he dies and comes back as a snowman. Okay. Also, because he was so cold to his kids.

Yeah. I think that's what it is. Yeah, he becomes a real ghost dead by which I mean, he has found guilty and all charges of being a bad dad. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of supervillains in the DC universe that use cold as a weapon. I think that's kind of strange. Okay, I can name two. Okay. How many more are there? Dan, can you get on? I'm not betting in this game. Dan, can you beat me? I can name two cold-based

DC villains. Can you beat me? Can you name three? No. I can, I can not go over you. I can, I can name three. Oh, wow. If weather wizard counts, then I can name three. I guess it'll count. I mean, just penguin count.

I mean, he always makes his guys hang around cold penguins. Only a bad man returns, I think. Okay. Well, there's still others. Captain Cold and Mr. Freeze are the only ones I can really think of. Yeah, and Killer Frost. Killer Frost.

Who's Killer Frost? Isn't that a Flash villain? Oh. Are you thinking of Captain Cold? Probably. Maybe you're right. I don't know. DC, I'm a Marvel zombie.

Anyway, great to show them, guys. You don't want to guess? I'm a Marvel zombie. Anyway, great a show, man, guys. We should probably get back to that. You don't wanna guess names to Super Villains anymore? Okay. A Cole D's? Is that a Super Villains? Yep.

Yeah. Okay. Is she kind of the Super Villains? I mean, it's a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a DC character. If anything, she'd be a Marvel character because she's part of Disney, but anyone. Oh, it's a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a DC character. If anything, it should be a Marvel character

because she's part of Disney, but anyone. Oh, it's only a matter of time. I guarantee you that if I haven't seen Avengers Infinity War yet, maybe it happens in that. But in Avengers Infinity War two, I guarantee you that Elsa shows up, Mickey shows up, goofy shows up. Yep. Like somehow the Ninja Turtles are going to show up.

Somehow Mario and Luigi are going to show up somehow Mario and Luigi are going to show up. They're all in it. And that that kid that carries around the giant heart-shaped key from the Kingdom Hearts video game is going to show up. Oh, of course. Oh, yeah, definitely. And also and Luke Skywalker and C3PO, they're all in it. Greedo, all your favorite Star Wars character. Glad Greedo comes alive. Is he a ghost in a snowman? I think this happens before the first Star Wars, so he's still alive. Okay, that's good to know.

No, but Greedo's dad just comes back as a ghost in a snowman. His name is Snowdo. Wow, okay. Or, you know what? No, Greese Snow. That's kind of on the snows. So... So the greatest showman, or should I say

a snowman, no one's ever thought of that joke before right then. So the greatest showman, it's all, it's like this movie feels like the trailer for a much longer movie to me. Like there were so many times during the movie where I was like, is this the movie? It's moving along really fast and I don't really have a sense of who any of these characters are, but I'll get into it. So it opens with a rousing number that New Jackman sings about how this is the greatest show and the circus is everything you'll ever want or dream of. Because here's something about the circus that I think is fascinating to me. The circus always presents itself as like, this is the ultimate fantasy world. It's this is all the things you've never seen before. When really it's like acrobats and clowns and elephants and I love the circus.

I'll go to the circus every day. But I've never been at the circus and been like, oh, I could never imagine such a thing. And you know, you'd prefer there hype to be a little more like like stayed like a little more realistic and be like, oh yeah, so we have trapeze guys and some weird looking folks and music maybe peanuts. Yes, I would like them to say for two hours, you're going to enter a world of spectacle and amazement. Then you'll feel bad the rest of the day as you think about how the animals and people are treated

before and after the performance. Like that's an accurate description of the circus to me. Again, a world that I love circus stuff. Who wouldn't want to run away and join the circus? I'll tell you who, every other character in the greatest showman who's not PT Barnum. Because now we're introduced to Hugh Jackman's character as a boy. He's young, Phineas Barnum.

He's just a poor pauper, a street urchin whose dad is a tailor of some kind, but they're still very poor, even though his dad is a tailor to a very rich man. They're making a house visit, tailoring for some rich guy and Phineas decides to climb around and he makes a little rich girl left and get slapped at for it by her dad. But then they meet up afterwards on a beach and Phineas and her sing a classic I Want song about how there's a hidden place just for them no matter what anybody says. And this song goes on for a very long time.

It covers the years of their life. Yeah, that's what we're gonna say, we're in scene. So long they're old by the end of the day. We are in scene three of this movie. This is the third scene of the film. And we're already skipping through years of time as we watch them get older.

Phineas is dead who I don't even know his name. I don't know what their relationship was like. He's had two lines of dialogue. He dies. I don't know what their relationship was like. He's had two lines of dialogue. He dies. I don't know if this is the same thing as it's not. I'm assuming it doesn't affect him too much other than giving him a complex about wanting to make a name for himself. I guess so, yeah.

Because Phineas goes on, sorry, I'm saying. He just goes to comfort is dying, dad, and then the next thing we see is him putting a top hat on a pine box. Yeah. And then which is how you buried people back then. They didn't have enough dirt. So they buried people in single top hats. Yes.

If you ever go to an old cemetery, it's just pine box is covered in top hats. I mean, that's kind of the trick with top hats is that they're very distracting. So you see the top hat and you don't even look at what's underneath it. That's why I ever assumes people wearing top hats are just Abraham Lincoln's. Yeah, because you just see the hat. That's it. Yeah. That was something the original the movie top hat with Fred Astero was originally about Abraham Lincoln as a guy who worked at a cemetery and they said it's hard to put the song and dance numbers into this because people know historically that Abraham Lincoln was not an amazing tap dancer like you are Fred Astaire.

So we're going to change this into like a mistaken identity romantic comedy and he's like whatever I just want to dance tap it a tap it a tap tap tap and they were like Fred can you please stop saying tap it a tap it a tap tap tap at the end of all of your sentences it's very weird and he goes it's a nervous tick that I have tap it, tap it, tap, tap, tap. At the end of all of your sentences, it's very weird. And he goes, it's a nervous tick that I have, tap it, tap, tap, tap. And they're like, if instead of saying it, why don't you act it out with your feet?

And that's how he became that amazing tap dancer. We all know today. Fred Astaire, everybody, let's hear it. Yeah, there's, it's one of the things I like about remember this with Karina Longworth. Well, then is that like about doing the show is that I learned stuff about old Hollywood. Because like, you know, like, it's crazierzier than it's crazier than fiction, you know, yeah, oh you couldn't make this stuff up

It would be impossible speaking up. You can't make it at least a waste of time At the very least will it did that we're closer to death than we were before I started that bit. Yeah, speaking of death than we were before I started that bit. Speaking of, so this song is still going on. Barnum becomes a kind of a Latin type street, street rat thief, but kind is shown to him by like a disfigured woman. I guess this is supposed to inspire us to, oh, this is why he wanted to be around. People who looked different, I guess. He keeps writing letters to his rich penpal, this woman named Charity. They grow up. Hugh Jackman shows up and asks for Charity's hand and they run off together. That's when I thought, oh, the song is over.

The song was still going. It's important that you specified that it is Hugh Jackman because that was when he morphed into actor Hugh Jackman and not little kid guy. Little kid, he stops being little kid and becomes Hugh Jackman. So the little kid plays Petey Barnum from the ages of like, what, 14 to 16. And then Hugh Jackman plays Barnum from the age of like 20 to death. Like, more from a mini-ackman to a Hugh Jackman. Well said, well done. And they're dancing and now they're married and they're living in a tenement. The song keeps going and it ends with her pregnant because I guess them having sex was

symbolized by them dancing on rooftops among sheets that were hung up to dry because that's how you signify that it's a tenement is that clothing and things are hung out to dry in laundry lines. And it's like the whole movie by this point felt to me like when you see a commercial on TV for a Broadway show and you're like, man, if I saw that in the theater, it would probably be amazing. But to watch it on screen, it looks really dumb and corny.

And did you guys feel kind of the same way? Well, it's deliberately fake. The production design is intentionally this sort of fantasy realm in real life. Yeah, it's very Mulan Rooji. Yeah, and I will say this. So I think that the songs are pretty much garbage. And I found out, sure, yeah, yeah.

Just because every single song sounds exactly the same as the one before it. Yeah, well, I found out that it was written by the same people who wrote the La La Land music. And let me say I was not surprised based on how memorable I found the music from La La Land. But I will say in my notes, in my notes for the movie on the music, it does say really reminds me how good Lin-Manuel Miranda is at his job. Yeah. So that was that. I mean, I didn't like the songs, but there are three production numbers in the movie I kind of like.

And I think I'll point them out as we get to them. And I liked, I mean, I liked how the sheets on the roof were kind of dancing along with the two of them. Like when he lifts her up, the sheets lift up also. Yeah. And I thought that was a really nice staging, and that was one of the three production numbers that I enjoyed the look of, if not the sound of. What other production numbers did Dan like?

Oh, stay tuned to find out, Vlog fans, live in suspense. So the, and I will say this, this movie has a ton of energy and a ton of, it like you really feel like they're trying to wow you at all moments, which I appreciate it But they yeah, just like Barnum himself, you know Exactly, but the movie also tries to make you feel and it and it did not succeed at that for me. So let's talk about what happens next because

Phineas our Barnum he's working working as an accountant, but his boss is bankrupt. And that's one of the things. I only have room in my life for one Phineas, and that's Phineas Fog. So call in Phin or PT from now on, Elliot. Sorry, and Phin, and Phin, what are not Phineas and Ferb? That's not your favorite hard game show. No, I call it Phin and Fererd. Okay, so I'll call him Barnum or PT from now on. Thank you. His name was PTSD Barnum, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Barnum. Let's make sure to PT. That's a lot of initials to remember.

So anyway, we see he has a fun family. He has two daughters and they're very quirky. He constructs a sort of wish machine revolving lights coming out of a box thing for his daughter's birthday. Yeah, that's like putting a candle inside a calendar. Basically. Okay, take away the magic. Sure. If you strip away the fantasy, that's exactly what it is.

Yeah. Wait, wait, that's how easy it is to make a wish machine. I'll show you. I'm going to get anything I want. I'll show you afterwards, Stewart. I can get our craft corner. I can get the code to break into New York's bank vault. And then I can take all the money.

Why wouldn't you just wish for the money? And I'm just saying, oh, good stuff. He enjoys the thrill of the steal when he's done. When he after he takes the money, he's just going to throw it out of a balloon when he's done when he after he takes the money He's just gonna throw it out of a balloon like I assume they do and now you see me because he just likes the thrill of the of the hunt He just likes the steal, you know, okay. Yeah, I just like to feel alive for one fleeting moment So let's go on that's why he that's why he shop lifts those batteries. He doesn't need all those batteries Yeah, yeah, so batteries. He doesn't need all those batteries. Yeah. Yeah. So we see that Barnum, he has this real flare for showmanship because he turns what's merely a candle in a colander into a wonderful wish

machine for his kids. Then he's in a waiting room to get a loan for a business. And in the waiting room, he encounters a dwarf and the dwarffs mother and this I guess uh inspires him to open his curiosities museum. They and at this point, here's what I'm going to say. Don't go into this movie expecting an accurate portrayal of PT Barnum's life. That was a that's something that I'm talking about. That's a that's a charge that was leveled at this movie when it came out and

it's like if you're expecting that going in, you've already lost the battle with the movie because they do skip over the beginning of Barnum's career when he basically just took an old black lady and took her on tour and told people she was 150 years old and New George Washington and didn't give her any money. And just kind of his first act, he really got famous with, was literally just, hey, do you wanna see the oldest black woman you've ever seen? Because she's gonna sit here and she's gonna tell you stories about

George Washington as a baby that are not true. But they skip that whole thing. Yeah, I mean, wait, that wasn't in the movie. No. They skip that part. You gonna say something? Yeah, well, this is skipping ahead to a more like reviewy final judgment place, but like that's the main sticking point of the movie. Like there's a lot to like in this movie.

I feel like it's it's handsomely put together, but the huge act man, he's gorgeous. Amazing, but the thesis is that, he's gorgeous. He's amazing. But the thesis in Zach Efron, those eyes, come on. Oh my God, there's a moment where he gets burned up and I'm like, please don't let him lose those muscles. Get him melted in the fire. No, but no. The problem with this is.

And now all the kids are all the street urchins on the street corners are selling Zach Efron muscle wax candles that that that that the problem with this movie is that it's central thesis is bonkers yes that and you don't get a delicious candy bonkers that that would be a strange thesis to build a movie around but you know what

anything that isn't a superhero that that that that that that that that that a superhero. No, but this thesis that. Thanks, James Cameron. Anyway, Dan, you're saying? This thesis that like PT Barnum collected all these people around him, what at the time in a lesson lightened age would be called freaks, but you know, like these different people.

And he, like the idea that he did that because it was a place of acceptance and like they could all become the some they say later on something they say later on that we'll get to is them is there is the it's pt barmas told pretty amazing what you did putting them on display is equals to every normal people and it's like well hold on what usually when someone who looks different is put on display it is not as an equal like it it's, yeah, we'll get to that. But the concept, the idea that the people that Barnum put on in his show, that this was both, that this was somehow elevating them,

you know, rather than putting them on display for the horrified amusement of of normies of rude like is is a crazy thing and it's like Well, but we'll the His so we'll get to that point of moment because His curiosity is museum which is mainly a wax figure's house It's the business is slow and his daughter's telling that he needs to put mythical creatures on display So he shows up and he hires that Yep, so it goes work. He gets perseus and he gives him a magical shield and he's like, chop me off of it.

He goes, gonna, please. He's like perseus, Medusa. I know you've had your issues, but if you work together this one last time, you'll be set for retirement. And that's where you get the show. Feud perseus and Medusa on FX. Oh, wow. Nothing to add to that, but that was a good reference. Oh thank you. So

Barnum goes to this dwarf and he says, Hey, what hey, I don't see you as something to be laughed at. I see you as an inspiring, respectable figure, a military figure, a colonel. People are going to salute you and the guys like, oh, all right. And basically through that kind of BS, we then see him signing up like a bearded lady who has a beautiful singing voice, a dog faced boy, a fat man, a tall man, that's all. Yeah, it's like getting the gang together, Montage, right?

Exactly. And none of these characters ever are given any personality. They are to the audience of this movie, exactly what they were to the audience in Barnum's time, which is weirdos for us to look at to make Barnum seem like a great cool guy. And the bearded lady, she has a whole song later on about, I've got to be me, no one's going to make me feel bad. This was the song that was not made for an Oscar. And my wife would get really mad

because when she was listening to NPR here in California, they would be like, this segment is sponsored by the Academy Award nomination for this song. And they'd play a snippet of the song and she'd be like, I can't stand hearing the same snippet of the song all the time. But like it was bigger, so mad. And she has this whole song about like,

you can't make me feel bad, I got to meet me. And I wanted to be like, who are you? All I know is that you are a woman with a beard who gets mad when people get mad at everybody else. Like who occasionally lifts her fist up as if to say, oh, you can't stop on me. But like none of these characters ever get personalities of any kind.

They are not, I mean, the movie, but the message of the movie is, Barnum took these people and made them respected as human beings, but the movie doesn't even treat them as human beings. Like, they're just props. Like, it's real. It's like, I would so much rather see a movie about them than a movie about Barnum. It's like, I don't, and that doesn't even get to the point which I started worrying about, which is like, no one in the movie I assume, except for the man playing Colonel Tom Thumb.

No one in the movie seems to have the same body as the character they're playing. They're all in makeup as the bearded later tattooed manner, whatever. So like that's the ethics of what are the ethics of somebody putting on basically what you would call like oddity face, you know, to play these characters. Like it's basically Gary Oldman and Tiptoes,

but for everyone except the character who would be in Tiptoes. And it's like, I don't know, the whole thing, it started being like movie by the same way that Bright is supposed to be like an anti-racist movie, but it is a very racist movie. This seemed to be kind of like, I'll wrap it up, Dan, don't worry. This seems to be like one of those movies where it's like, we gotta treat these people as people, but the movie doesn't treat them as people.

Anyway, I'm sorry. I don't wanna get off on a rant here, but that's just my opinion. Maybe I'm wrong, back to Dennis Miller Live, Dan. Yeah, the worst is, the worst are those trapeze artists. What a couple of real freaks. Well, that's the other, and there's trapeze artists, and the only thing about them is that they're black.

And it's so it's like, so the movie is like, hey, you know it's like a bearded lady or a man with, what's it called? Hypertrichonosis, whatever it's called when you have hair going out of every part of your body. And you know it's like that being black. And there's no other black characters in the movie, right? I think you're right.

So the subtext is like, hey, Zendaya, by being a trapeze artist who is also a person of color, you're like a bearded lady. Barnum, the latest showman. I mean, they're both valuable people, Elliot. Like, I don't think that that's like that. I'm not saying, no, I'm not, but I'm not saying that either one or not that either one or not valuable people, Elliot. I don't think that that's like that. I'm not saying that either one or not that either one or not valuable people. But I'm saying that it is a weird thing to be like, look at all these people are looked down on by society because they don't fit our standards of normality. Also black people. It's a strange parallel to me. But anyway,

Zendaya gets her own whole subplotot later on so we'll get to that. Because the museum gets really successful. Barnum sings a musical number about how they shouldn't hide. They should be they should be proud and display themselves. Because nothing says pride in yourself like going on display so someone can pay a nickel to gok at you. And like, what? A whole nickel.

Where do I sign up? Uh, uh, And like a whole nickel. Where do I sign up? Dan I had some bad news. What I don't think you're ready for the nickel stage. Oh, no, no No, no, maybe a penny, but you're gonna have to do so can you buy to head off a chicken? I Mean I can I mean, it sounds like tough talk Dan Dan, there's a there's a movie I'd like to see. It's called Nightmare Alley. And I think it's a professional that you can really get behind.

Okay. So, to that. Wait, so I'm confused. Are they putting on like big musical shows at the circus, or is that just because it's a musical? I mean, that's, the way it's put together to imply that they're doing musical performances for audiences, that's, I've, it, the way it's, it's put together to imply that they're doing musical performances for audiences. That's not the way Barnum worked. The way Barnum

worked was like, hey, look at this guy. Hey, look at this lady. But, but they're cut, but I guess, I don't know, you really was the greatest showman. Barnum, the greatest showman. Hey, look at that thing. Hey, look over here. They're like, Barnum, I've had enough of your Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You can't land a blow on him because he's too, he's so eloquent and witty. Hey, look at that. Hey, what's over there? Now, Ellie, you had mentioned that, you had mentioned that the character Colonel Tom Thumb or General Thumb stands out for you. Now, is it because in the first scene he was introduced, he calls somebody like a flop doodle or a flop doodle?

I did like that. He uses this ridiculous, I don't even know if it's a real insult from the time. He's like, what you looking at flop doodle? And I was like, I want to see more of this character. And I do get to see him, but I don't get to hear him or know him because he has almost no dialogue in the film. But anyway, so Barnum's getting successful, but he gets bad press from a character that

I didn't even realize till I looked it up on Wikipedia afterwards was supposed to be James Gordon Bennett, one of the most storied newspaper publishers in New York history who everyone hated in real life. Anyway, but they're getting bad press. People are not accepting his performers. They're protests outside the museum. And we get another song. outside the museum and we get another song. They're all these kind of like high energy pump up. Would you call them like stadium ballots

or something like that or stadium? They're like, they're all anthems. Every song is an anthem in this movie. There's one song that's not as much of an anthem later that I kind of like, but the rest are all, it's all like every song is supposed to be the big show stopping number. You can't make a show out of showstoppers because you know what happens to the show? It just stops. Exactly. And you know who would know not to do that.

The greatest showman. And you know the greatest showman was wait, you know who the greatest showman was? I think I should know this. God. I'll give you two guesses. I'll give you two guesses. Okay, Dan just gave a guess. Yeah, God. What was your guess? No, good guess. The answer. Okay, you know, you have one guess. The answer is Steve J. Cannell. Oh, I think you can. I'll produce sort of the 18 rip tide all that stuff. Let us show him. Roger files. Yeah. And he knew how to rip a piece of paper out of a typewriter so that

it would fall into the out of a typewriter so that it would fall into the shape of a letter. Yeah, that does make him the greatest showman I guess. Yeah. Somewhere Nick Pizzolato, the creator of True Detective is hearing this and is super mad. He thought he was the best. Yeah. So we are talking about a movie.

So Barnum is making money, but he's not accepted into the high society circles and his girls get made fun of by the other ballerinas in their ballet class because their dad works in this vulgar world of the circus. So what's Barnum got to do? He's got to get himself kind of like a pretty face that everyone respects and there's no prettier face in America than Zac Efron. That's right. Zac Efron is like a playwright, he's like a young playwright or

play producer, and Barnum asks him to join the the the circus museum as a business partner. And it's this weird thing where it's like, so Zach Efron is already a successful legit theater guy and Hugh Jackman's like, hey, but you know what, you're not having fun. So why don't you join me as my apprentice and you'll get 10% of the proceeds. Instead of being a wealthy man, you'll do okay, but you'll have fun.

And this is the one number in the movie that I enjoyed where it's like the two of them singing and dancing in a bar and it's like, you know, the song number that they do in Hail Caesar where Channing Tatum is dancing around. Mm-hmm. Yeah. This was like a not, like a not parody version of that where it's two guys dancing around in a bar like just being like, I got what I want, but you don't got fun.

Adada, adada, like this was the most fun song in the movie to me. Yeah. And it's kind of like a bit of like a dance battle back and forth between of them. I think that's being a little charitable. Yeah, well, I do like the bartender who's following behind them cleaning up for them the whole time. Yeah, you're like, this bartender just literally rushes through and sweeps something off the floor and rushes that again at one point. And I was like, that guy is amazing.

And this is the first major decision that seems to happen in a bar. There's one that happens later as well, which is just, it's nice to see that major changes in Barnum's life happen. When he I think later on made a living traveling around as a temperance speaker. So you're saying that this movie really puts the bar in Barnum. Yeah. So I was saying that. Yeah. That was a the weird poster that they put out for this movie.

Like everyone was like, why are they? Who are they trying to appeal to with that line? I guess just bartenders? Yeah, it's an untapped, there's like, there's four quadrants of audience. There's young girls, old people, middle-aged people in bartenders, and we are not getting enough penetration

on the bartender quadrant. Yeah, I mean, what's the image on the poster? Because if it just says that, I think some people would be like, when they say bars, I'm assuming they mean candy bars. So I'm going to go get one of those candy bars. I mean, it still gets good cross promotion. Now, it makes more sense than the ad campaign

for people suffering from hypothermia where it said, he puts the numb in bar numb. And they were like, ooh, I'm shivering. Oh, that's not even how you spell the word numb. Ooh, I can't feel my hands and feet. Oh, I guess I'll go see that movie. What's he a Dracula there? What's he doing over there?

Hello. Hello. He was shivering in the cold. Is he, are you suggesting Dracula is just cold all the time? I mean, it makes sense, or he just doesn't know what to say. That's why he wears a case. He does wear a cape indoors, so.

Yeah. Yeah, but this was the second. That's what I, when I shared an office with Halley, that's what I should have gotten her as a gift is a warmth cape that she could wear in the office. She's always called. She's a Dracula. Yeah.

Not yet, but if she works a little harder. I believe a warmth cape is called a shawl. I believe there's a word for that. I don't think so. I'll call it a worth kick. Anyway, this was the second number that I liked in the movie, if for those who were keeping track, who were in suspense. Yeah, so anyway, and we still got to find out number number three, that number three,

but we'll find out when we get there. Yeah, don't give away the secret surprise that the third number was three. So Zach Efron falls in love with Zendaya's Acrobat. We know this because they briefly lock eyes in slow-mo and then she's sassy to him afterwards. Like, because everything in this movie is told in shorthand. We don't end up, but don't worry, they get their due at number later. People are still protesting Barnum's museum, but they get an invitation to go meet Queen Victoria and they charm her with their humorous ways.

That's in England is where Barnum meets opera singer Jenny Lind, the biggest opera star in Europe, and he decides to hire her to class some things up. And she does that by just seeing a whole song on stage to an audience, which we see the entirety of. is not there's no there's no dancing or drama stations just her on stage and apparently this apparently this singer was like Hans Christian Anderson's muse guys I looked at Wikipedia before we did this podcast. I mean that's great. Yeah. I mean, Jenny Lind is a real person. Sure. Nice. Great songbirds.

This character is played by Rebecca Ferguson. Yeah. A rogue nation. Dan, why are you salivating? I don't, I just, uh, she's creeping me out, buddy. Uh, I was wondering, do you think that everyone sang their own parts? I mean, like, I know that Hugh Jackman was that I have run our song and danceman. But, uh, do you think, uh, we're going to play it? And definitely the woman who plays the bearded lady, she sang her song, because she's a Broadway performer.

I mean, I don't know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer.

I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer.

I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. I don't even know if you're a performer. of jazz standards. That's true. And he did that. He did that spoken word out where it's him talking to a chair. Yeah. Yeah. It was called, it was called sweet charity. Sure. Uh, she, speaking of charity, she doesn't like the look in Barnum's eyes when he's looking at Jenny Lynn singing. And Zach Efron does not like the looks that people give him when he holds hands with his acrobat lover.

Uh-oh, things are not going to go well. Why? Because it's the time in the movie when complications has to start. So Barnum is rude to charity's parents at a rich people's suaray after the Jenny Lin show. This is his charity off, and Barnum won't let his usual, you know, non-normal, you know, his usual performers into this rich, you know, his usual performers into this Rich People's Suarez.

I'm not sure why, like that part of it. I didn't really understand. I think it was important for the narrative, but maybe it's the idea that he, I mean, it's like, because Barnum the whole time is trying to reach to be bigger. Yeah, he's obsessed with class. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. He's born low class, so he's trying to mix it. He really wants to be seen. Yeah, he's obsessed with class. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, born low class. So he's trying to really want to be seen as respectable. Yeah, he can't be respectable when he's got a lady with a beard standing next to him or a guy who's super tall. Yeah, yeah, and he can't have a guy super tall standing next to him because it'll just re-emphasize how short he is. Yeah. Is Hugh Jackman a short guy? I don't know. I think that people argue against his casting as Wolverine because he's not that short. Oh, that's true. Well, everyone knew the perfect cast in from Wolverine, Stuart.

Uh, uh, uh, Elliot Kaylen. No, Wizard Magazine Choice, Glenn Dansey. Oh, I was just, but I thought that's why you've been growing your body hair out. Uh, that's because that's because my I guess you're like a pooled winter. Right. Yeah. Oh, I would love to play puck. I mean, I couldn't because puck is a body builder. Because puck is not and here, here's the thing. Okay, let's talk about puck for a moment.. It's Puck. Famously short. He's not naturally short though. He was a regular-sized guy who was turned into a short man through mystical means. So like, what are the

ethics of that alpha flight? Why couldn't you hire a real super short body builder? You had to get a fake super short body builder and look at this Sasquatch. Sasquatch is not really a Sasquatch. He's a person who turns into a Sasquatch. Yep. When I hear a real Sasquatch, come on. No, yep. Alpha flight. I know it's Canada. You don't have access to all these things, but you've got to have real Sasquatch is there. Tell me, come on. Or at least higher like a like a when-to-go or some other Canada specific monster. Yep. Now, I know when-to-go is a villain in the Marvel universe.

He's just a monster runs around. Get one and train him. Make him a good guy. Come on. Yeah. So L. And you have. Dan, do you have any hot?

Oh, also box another alpha flight character, not a box, a robot cyborg type. So Dan, do you have any hot takes about alpha flight? No, but Stewart's reaction to your long tie-rate reminds me of the time that Roman Mars edited Justin McAroy into an episode of 99% Invisible. Oh, yeah, smart stuff. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good bit. That was pretty funny. Okay, guys. Wow, so I learned a lot about Alpha Flight. I learned that they need to get their act together. So, let's get back to the movie, guys, so I learned a lot about AlphaFlight. I learned that they need to get their act together. So let's get back to the movie, guys.

So the, all the his regular reformers, they storm this party while singing the Academy Award-Dominated Anthem, be yourself, stand true to your whatever. I assume that's the title. I think it's, this is me. Yeah, this is me. It's basically every song in this movie,

except for one or two maybe, is that Christina Aguilera You're beautiful no matter what they say song. Yeah, higher energy Like they it's like they heard that song a little born this way Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's a it's a real Gaga will wear a Masha that's go steal Christina Aguilera and Lady Gaga match together Which would be a horrific thing to do. Why would anyone do that?

A couple of songbirds. I'd love to see two songbirds melded together through mystical means. Oh, yeah. So it's like, it would be a real all of me situation. So PT Barnum at this point decides it's time to hit the road, Jack. And so he goes on the road with his new uh... singer lady jenny lindt and uh... zack affron stands up to his parents about how he loves his acrobat and there's a love scene duet between zack affron and the acrobat where

there's a lot of like strict just so they style like swinging around on a ring that hangs from the ceiling what's that what's that called is that uh... uh... my wifeene, called it something like the Spanish harness or something? It's like some kind of, or the Spanish web. It's, because she, she's done some light circus training. Oh wow, yeah.

I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. So she should be on this podcast from the circus. That's why, that's why when I first introduced her to my parents, they looked down on her and I'm like, no, I love my trippy shirt.

Why? They said, we've ever expected you to go with one of the sawdust and tinsel crowds. You know, it's not befitting a Wellington. Yeah, when Zac Efron shows Zendaya off to his parents, like his dad's fucking monocle basically pops out of his head. It's the most...

It's rough. Okay. So, are you just, are you descended from the actual Wellington who defeated Napoleon? No, I'm actually descended from the food item. It's a piece of meat wrapped in flaky puff pastry. I can't even descend it from. Humble origins. Oh, it doesn't get more humble, not even descended from a human being. Oh, that's a cut off piece of a cow. The thing is, Ellie, we're all creating a lot of carbon. So, you you know anything can happen

It's a big world don't limit your options. Don't let don't let science Dan make sure to insert the quotation marks there don't let science Limit your imagination, you know, Hey Hollywood, I get some ideas for you. So charity, Barnum's wife wants him to stop going on tour with Jenny Lind, but he leaves anyway. Charity sings a song about why isn't, why isn't there life enough for him? Why does he always need more? And Jenny Lind, she gets mad that it turns out Barnum, I guess, doesn't actually return the feelings. She has for him, like she has a crush on him,

but for him it's all just business. And she says, I'm gonna leave after this show. And at the end of the show, as camera bulb surfed flashing, she kisses him on stage. Uh oh, that's not gonna look good in the papers. I actually will look very good in the papers as a scandal, which sells papers. Yeah, and it looks great because it's, it's not, they don't even publish the photo. They publish like a drawing of it, right?

Yeah, it's like a woodcut. So like, I don't know what the purpose of taking the picture was. Yeah, they're like, I mean, they had Charles Burns on call, so they're going to do that. Oh, wow, I didn't was Charles Burns who did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He took a break from doing a cover for Believer magazine, I guess, to do this Barnum story. So the, the rowdies who hate all the non, you know, cis-bodied people, I guess they're

all cis-bodied because they're in the bodies they were born in. What would you call like, what's a, what's a respectful way to describe someone who at the time would have been called like an oddity, you know? Yeah, well that's what I've been struggling with throughout the podcast. Is that why you said so little? Yeah, I mean, I keep spacing out because I keep getting concerned with this technical thing with Skype, but it's fine. Oh, I thought it was just your in your head, you're just going through all your favorite songs.

Yeah. What was that? I think that's not my name. We are greater. Right. All the songs have a source of course and is this like, huh, huh, huh, huh, or like, oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,

that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,

that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, yeah, the soundtrack's all like Billy Joel. Do we not mention that? Yeah. Oh, man, I would love to have anything you want at our greatest show, Circus 10. That was at restaurant song. Yeah. And, uh, I don't know. So which song do you guys think if it was put out? Thank you, Stuart. Which song do you think it was put out? It's true with the same.

It would be like the big hit. You know how like one night Bangkok from Jess is such a huge smash. Which on an earlier episode, I incorrectly said it was an Android Webber show, right? Or something like that. I don't, I can't keep track of all your incorrect statements. I think I said it was that well, anyway, I incorrectly said something about chess earlier.

I apologize. Correction. I don't know what I'm talking about. But yeah, like what you're asking, what would be the big radio hit from it? Maybe the big love thing between Zendaya and Zach Efron. Maybe it's such a boring song though. But that seems like the kind of song that becomes a hit like a crossover.

Oh, there was that one song in the movie about how Barnum was a rebel just for kicks, yeah. And he'd been doing it since 1966, yeah. That sounds like that could be a radio hit if it was removed from the song context of the movie. Yeah, that makes sense. So. Yeah.

And there was that one, there was that one where, where Jenny Lynn was saying about how she doesn't dance now, she makes money move. Yep. Now, the thing about. That sounds like that could be a radio hit. Is when Jenny Lynn comes out to sing for the first time and like, the movie tries to build a little bit

of anticipation because Barnum at this point hadn't even heard her sing and she gets up there and everybody's excited. I don't know about you guys, but I was really hoping she was going to do that number from the fifth element. Where's that thing? That one that goes to all the different pitches. Oh man, I would have fucking loved it. If this movie had done that, it would have been great to show, man. She slowly puts on a hat that looks like the tentacles. Yeah. Yeah. But what if she just put on a big like, just put on a big jumeric-wide hat and just did their song? No. Oh, virtual insanity. And she's going around on the stage like they do in the

music video. Yeah, exactly. Because it's the weird, he's like, she goes on on stage and he's like, I haven't even heard her sing yet. Well, she's already a famous opera singer. She was famous enough that Queen Victoria asked her to perform for her. So like, that's a pretty good recommendation. It's a little bit like, like, there are certain performers that like, like, if you asked me to say, like, if you said, have you ever seen, like, trying to think of who's a big musician, that like, if you were like, have you heard any Adele songs? No, I haven't. Well, she's a number one pop recording artist. You're gonna hire her for your concert? I guess so, but I don't know if she's any good.

Well, she's already like a platinum selling recording artist. So it's not that big a risk, you know. Yeah. But I think that part of it is just that he's being hiled by her. Oh, okay. Be careful. Yeah, that's what she's talking about.

What she's talking about. Yeah. Yeah, the Beguile is all about P.T. Barnum and Jenny Lins. Yeah, the Fagile is about. Yeah, it is. Yeah, the Begeiled is all about PT Barnum and Jenny Lins. Yeah, the Begeiled is actually just a five minute segment of this movie. Wow, they cut out. And there's a lot of credit. Unfortunately, okay, so Barnum's life seems to be at its lowest edge, but that edge is about to get even lower because those

rowdies, they attack the theater theater there's a fight between them and the performers. Oh yeah, this is why I was trying to figure out there. This one, I'm in the performers because I it's hard for me to think of a name for them. That's not that's not dismissive or derisive. And one of the routies starts the fire starts a fire in the museum burns down, which is a place and they start a fight. And at that point, you're like, you're like, why do they pick a fight with them? Because like

they all have these performing skills. Like even Oro from Street Fighter 3, you only fights with one arm, just fucks people up, dude. Like, they're doing all these like flip attacks on them. Yeah, that's true. What are they thinking? And the fat man like bounces a guy away with his belly, which is like, okay, now he's just the blob from X-Men.

Like, that's not cool. That doesn't happen in real life. That's not what it's like. That bad, right? I do. Wait, wait, but wait, when you grow a giant belly, it doesn't become super dense and tough and less sensitive to pain. No, it comes in other things.

Yeah, it also doesn't have the recoil of a big pink rubber ball. Let my friend, Baron Munch has an introducing to his friends who have similar abilities, I guess. Zach Efron gets very badly hurt, and Barnum runs into the fire to save him. Barnum shows up in town just in time to catch the fire, and he's in the hospital and Zandai is watching over him. Seemingly, I'm not saying that. So, are you saying that Barnum is always there? Barnum is such a great guy and he's like a munitilection building.

Yeah. Like, and he saves Zac Efron's life. He's just amazing. He's just the best guy. He's the sweetest, loveliest man. And, did you guys check his life? Did he actually save a guy from a fire? I didn't go deep into Barbs life. No, did you, Elliot? I mean, his museum did burn down, but I don't think he ran in and saved anybody's life.

And I do love that he's like sitting on the steps of his burned down museum when that the reporter shows up and talks to him and then hands him a newspaper That's basically like Barnum's life is ruined and he's like what? What happened to me? Well, this this reporter who has hated Barnum this whole time He's the one who's been writing all these articles about how Barnum is bad, get him out of here. He shows up and he goes, you know, someone, some other critic might say that by elevating these people and showing them his equals, you were celebrating them and doing a good, doing a great thing for humanity. Like, this is the moment where this character comes in and is like, you've opened my eyes to the power of putting people on display because they are

formed differently than everybody else. You really showed me that by exploiting these people, you're the hero and I'm the asshole. So kudos to you, Barnum. Here's a newspaper that says you're having an affair. Your life's ruined. See ya! See ya! It's a real see ya wouldn't want to be a moment.

Yeah, it's great. Like his reaction to finding out his life is ruined is hilarious. And the bank takes his home, his wife leaves him, Barnum, all that he can do is put the bar in Barnum and go back to a bar that is decorated with photos of his own personal history, which is kind of weird. Does he own that bar? No, I mean, I think it's like one of those themes. It's which is kind of weird. Does he own that bar? No, I mean, I think it's like one of those themes, it's like a plan of Hollywood.

Let's see, it's a Barnum's personal life themed bar. Yeah, it's, it's a bar with pictures of him and his family on the walls. Uh huh, yeah. And he's drinking maybe to death until those lucky people, those personalityless people who without Barnum would have been forced to hide themselves rather than charging people money to look at them.

They come in and they say, hey, Barnum, you gave us pride in ourselves, you gave us a family, and you gave us a home. And does this, do you think this leads to a rousing musical number about how they're never going to give up and they're going to be true to themselves where they dance around the bar? No, they probably just cut away because it's like, And of the scene.

Dan, all contraire, I hate to break it to you. We get a rousing musical number about that. Hey, things are going to be good. It's like, Barnum has had spin at a low-ebb for maybe what, two minutes of screen time, and it's time for another like, rousing, we're the best, everybody's great. Barnum, go get a mirror of the world, and this was one of those points where it was like, it's just like, oh, all the circus performers are dancing,

and it's like, I started feeling weird again about like my relationship to them as an onlooker, as a spectator, you know? At what point was I like, was I culpable in treating them as objects because the, let's just say, the dancing is great. All the dancers in the movie are really fantastic. But to have them dancing well dressed as like kind of human oddity performers is it just opens up a can of worms that I don't wanna open.

Keep that can of worms closed. In fact, why are you handing me a can of worms? That's open, I don't need worms, I'm not a fisherman. Yeah, why do they put worms in a can anyway, right? Yeah, it's not good for the worms. I mean, it's like, hey, it's certainly not a sealed can. No, it's sealed at the factory for freshness.

Those poor worms, get me a can of Campbell's chicken and star soup. That's what I want because I'm a kid and I'm sick. Mm-hmm. Yeah, tell it, it's scandalous. Dan, why are you making a podcast? Yeah, Joseph Campbell plucked the stars out of the sky and put them in super form for me. So I can achieve my dreams of eating the very universe itself. Okay.

And checking. We're so close to the end. I feel like of our of everything. So they they they Zack Efron's alive. They hang out in the ruins of the the circus. And then they're like, Hey, let's just do another one. Yeah. Yeah. And then and that's like, hey, let's just do another one. Yeah, well, they're like, and then, and then,

just that kind of thing. Equal partners, right? And all the performers are like, yay, they're equal partners. Even though we're the ones who are putting this thing into motion again. And they realize that. And they realize that.

And they realize that, and they realize that, and they realize that, but they realize that buying a land in Manhattan is prohibitively expensive. So instead they are like, we could just put a tent up and that would be where we perform. And I assume later on they're like,

hey, we can move this tent around in different cities, but we don't see that part. No, you don't, you don't, the audience has to make that connection. Yeah, the first sizing part of it doesn't see that part. No, you don't, you don't, the audience has to make that connection. There is a franchising part of it doesn't get it. There is a great scene where, uh, where he, he goes to fetch his, to try and convince his wife to take him back. And he goes to her parents house and her dad is like waiting at the door and he's like,

I'd like to see my wife and her dad's like, she ate here. Like, it's the most hilarious thing. And then the kids are immediately like, oh yeah, she's down at the beach. Like, it's the lamest thing. And he goes and apologizes to her. Now, here's the thing that I didn't fully realize is, so Zach F. RundzCaref was supposed to be Bailey, right?

From Barnum and Bailey. Why didn't they just name him Bailey? Yeah. Cause that's I kind of wish the movie ended with a they're doing this big show. And they have again, they have a big musical number about how they're great. Now they're CGI animals involved. It's really amazing. And Barnum retires. He, uh, he says, Zach Efron, you take over. I'm going to live my life. And he goes and watches his daughter's dance recital. I wish that during that big number and it panned over to do guys to identical twins

And it just says wringling brothers on their shirts and they go, oh, I think there's something here Yeah, the I'm surprised that they didn't do a thing where he Where as he's leaving he's like now, now I'm going to go join a real circus, American politics. Those clowns in Washington. Because he's a, thanks, once again, thanks to Wikipedia. I looked at Wikipedia today. Okay. Yeah, he was like, he was a mayor of what Bridgeport can advocate for a while.

Oh wow. I think so, yeah. And yeah, but that's the great story of the greatest show and it ends with another big musical number. We've seen a bunch and now we've seen another. And Damien, was that the low and you liked? Was that the third one, the low and the else? No, we didn't even talk about the third one,

which was there was a big number between Zendaya and Zach Efron on like an aerialist rope. Yeah, we talked about that. Did we? Yeah, I thought it like a Spanish web or rope. Yeah, we talked about that. Did we? Yeah. I thought it like a Spanish web or something. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Maybe it was because you called it something that I was totally unfamiliar with that I was like, what are you saying? Like that, to me, that's just aerialism. Wow, okay, sorry. It's all aerialism to me, says Billy Joel. Didn't mean to piss you off, all right. Ooh.

What calm down, dude? Dead. No one's arguing with you about this. Call it whatever you want. We don't care. It's fine. All right. Look, I just get really mad about

Arealism. Hey, whoa. All right. Whoa. We're going to have to cut all this stuff out. People are going to get really mad about Dan's feelings about Arealism. So we, uh, and we get to see some elephants.

That's great. It's nice to see elephants in the circus, right Dan? No, do it. They hear abuse creatures. I mean, it is, it is amazing how, do we talk about this when we talked about going to see the last Ringling Brothers shows that like the elephants are what makes the circus?

Like they announced we're not doing elephants anymore and people stopped what makes the circus. Like they announced, we're not doing elephants anymore and people stopped going to the circus and the circus that had been around for 160 years shut down. Like that's crazy. People love elephants. And you know what? Yeah, because they're incredible animals. I'm not immune to it.

I love elephants. Just call me a sufferer of elephant tises. I love elephants too. Call me the elephant man. I love elephants too. Call me the elephant man. I love elephants. Sure. Is that how he got, is that how John Merrick got his name? Cause he loved the animal, the elephant.

It does, yeah, it actually wasn't related to his terrible, terrible disability that he had to suffer under. It was all about cause he loved elephants so much. Okay. And we all agree that that's the most ridiculous part of that movie though. And like his mom, I guess gets trampled by an elephant at the beginning of it. It's kind of unclear exactly what happened.

It's great to show him in. I don't remember that one. No, in the elephant. In the elephant man. Yeah. I guess it's supposed to be metaphorical. Here's the thing about the elephant man. He didn't really love elephants that much, but as one of those things were like, he had

a couple elephant things. Yeah. And people were like, oh, he likes elephant stuff. I'll get him elephant stuff for his birthday. Yeah, every time people are on vacation, they see like a little carving of an elephant, they go buy it. Exactly. They're like, John would like this. So final judgments.

This is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or movie you kind of like Stewart. What do you have to say? Oh, man. You know, I'm not super, guys, you know, I'm, I'm not soup guys, you know, I'm not super experienced with musicals. I, I kind of, I'm kind of being a harsh critic on the music for this one because I've been spending the last week just listening to Nightfall and Middle-Earth by Blind Guardian, which is their album about

the Silmarillion, and it's really great. So I'd like to recommend that tonight. But no, this is, I mean, this is a big movie, original movie musical and I don't think the music has paced particularly well and the subject matter is a little concerning. So I would say this is a bad, bad movie. Yeah, I kind of wanted to like this because everyone's putting their whole heart into it and I like it when they try something like doing a big movie musical that's original. I mean, like that's, it's good to have that kind of diversity and types of films out there. But yeah, the core premise of the movie kept me from enjoying it enough to recommend it as anything other than a bad movie. I think I would have liked it more as a stage show

than I liked it as a movie, but it's still, I like, yeah, I wanna give it, I wanna give it more credit for its intentions than I end up wanting to give it for its execution, you know. So I'm going to say I'm going to go with the flow on this one. Guys, I'm going to just follow the crowd on this one. I'm not going to be a bar num and stand up for difference. I'm just going to, a small dog owner. My dog, pistachio, how is when she's excited? And I'm Radek Colvert, a big dog owner.

My dog, tugboat, tips over when he's sleepy. And we co-host a podcast called Can I Pet Your Dog that airs every Tuesday. We bring you all things, dog. Yes, dog news, dog tech. Dogs we met this week. We also have pretty famous guests on butt legs. I're not gonna let them talk about their projects. No. Just wanna hear about those dogs. We don't wanna hear about your stuff, only your dogs. So join us every Tuesday on Max Fun!

Thank you so much to the over 28,000 members who joined or upgraded during the 2018 Max Fun drive and to all of our monthly members. You showed up in full force to help us reach our goal and to show our appreciation for putting up this year's batch of MAX Fund Drive exclusive in our whole pins-on sale for all $10.00 monthly members. And just like last year, we're giving all the profits to charity. For 2018, we're supporting the National Immigration Law Center.

The sale will run from May 18 through May 28, so don't miss it. $10.00 and up monthly members will be receiving personalized code and instructions to purchase pins on May 17. So keep your inbox open and notifications on. For more details, head over to maximumfund.org slash pins and to learn more about the National Immigration Law Center and support them directly, you can go to nilc.org. Well, we should move on to first thank our sponsors. Or in this case, we have one sponsor. Archie is currently right under Stuart's chin. Yeah, Stuart's face was framed by

a cat, which was adorable. So that's a little peek behind the curtain to what's happening on the table here at Flophouse HQ. Dan, did we have a sponsor? Do we not have sponsor? Flophouse is sponsored in part by Blue Apron. Mmm yummy. Blue Apron delivers farm fresh, perfectly portioned ingredients, and step-by-step recipes, so you can make incredible meals at home. Rediscover how fun cooking can be while enjoying specialty ingredients and exploring new flavors and cuisines. Get $30 off your first order by visiting blueapren.com slash flop house. So if you want to make food, but if you don't like going through all that trouble of making

food, but you're still sort of making food, then blue apron is free. I don't think that's exclusively the draw. I think the draw is also not having to go to the store and buy bulk ingredients that you're going to use part of and then throw most of away because- Yes, less wasteful. Yeah. And also the food tastes good.

Yeah. And it comes right to your door. That's always a benefit with food when it tastes good. Yeah. Alright, alright, turn down the blast, buddy. Sorry, runny danger fields. Oh wow, somebody gave me my fucking, my pan holders so that I don't burn myself on those hot takes Yeah, so I could anyone have any ointment for the burn I just sustained

We don't have any jumbo troms this week. I'll just say about blu-la-bron We've all had personal good experiences with blu-la-bron. It's good stuff Yeah, we don't have any jumbo troms, but we do have something to promote for ourselves, right Dan? Yeah, I was just I was first gonna say if you want to get up on the jumbo tron, it's maxonthon.org slash jumbo tron. But are you talking about our live shows, at least? I am talking about our live shows. Oh, yeah, the flop house is going on tour.

We're going to three places. It's the biggest, it's our world tour. Yep, there's still tickets available for all of these shows, except possibly the one in Brooklyn because the bellhouse has been tweeting out that there's only a few seats left, so I don't know where that is. There's a chance that is not just a marketing ploy that in fact, it might be sold out. But you can check on it. It is stranger than fiction, so it's probably a fact.

You can check on any of these shows at the FlophousePodcast.com or justflophousepodcast.com. Slash events. Okay, here's the, I was going to say the FlophousePodcast.com page, but then I realized that it was confusing halfway through my fence. And then you said, no, no, no, justflophousepodcast.com, which is also not the correct URL. Yeah, it is. It's, here's, no, it's not justflophousepodcast.com, which is also not the correct URL. Yeah, it is. It's not justflophousepodcast.com. Okay, well, you're right there.

So it'sflophousepodcast.com slash events. And yeah, we're going to be May 26th. We're going to be in Washington, D.C. We're talking about Geostorm, June 7th. We're in Brooklyn talking about the dark tower and June 30th will be in Seattle talking about the mummy. In a way, there's a theme. I don't know if you can see it, but mummies sometimes live in dark towers and they often

cause geostorms. No, wait, so would you call a pyramid a dark tower? Because that's where mummies always live. I mean, at night. Okay. Fair. Can something with that wider base be called a tower? I mean, it's not a hole.

There's only two options here. Either someone's a hole or a tower. Is that? Yeah, there's dichotomy you're positing here. I mean, I haven't finished architecture school, Dan. But that was the introduction. Every building is either a whole or a tower, which one you choose to focus on

is entirely up to your personal pace. That's an architecture professor. Professor, what's this architecture professor's name? Wilhelm von Gutenstein. Okay, well, and to see also have a furniture for goodstein? Yeah. And did he, and like the government comes to him and is like, he's like the Nazis are trying to get a hold of a mystical building.

We need your help. And he's like, oh, is that building belongs in a museum? That's right. Yeah, he saves the day with the aid of like, I don't know, Zeppelin or something. And then they have, there's actually a third type of building, and that's, I'm not going to spoil it, but it's great. Okay. So those are our shows. If you're in the DC area, go May 26th. If you're in the New York area, go June 7th. If you're in the Seattle area, go June 30th. And I think I mentioned this last time,

I'm gonna push myself and I'm gonna try to do presentations at those shows that are only for those shows and never again. So if you want exclusive Ellie, Kaelin jokes, you gotta go to those shows. Dan, I just gotta let you know that your cat's breath smells like fish. Okay, so big job for that report.

I mean, I guess you're confirming that I feed my cat, which is a good thing. Here's how I assume you feed your cat, Dan. You handed a whole fish, and it just dips it into its mouth and then pulls the bones out. Yeah. What does it do with those bones? Does it play those bones like a little xylophone? You know it. In a band with its cat buddies, and if I crank Archie's tail, it plays Turkey in the straw. No, no, Dan, before you knew that it could play that song, that would be a cruel thing to do to crank a guest tail.

You're lucky a song played. Archie loves it. Music, uh, music is charms to suit the Savage Beast. So, um, anyway, speaking of Savage Beast, what do we do next on the podcast? Next we talk to you Savage Beasts out there in email land. People send us emails and we answer them. It's called the Flop House Movie Mailbag or it was at one point and then we stopped calling it that.

Okay, now guys, for this one, now you know me. I like to do a song before the mailbags. And for this one, I thought I'd do a huge showstopping power anthem number, just like in the greatest showman. And I'd start it off kind of quiet. It would be something about how like these are the letters, the letters of your life. Don't lose the letters. And then it would grow and grow. And you'd have like a chorus in the background. This would probably be you guys going like, whoa, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And the music would get bigger and bigger. And then like the lights would go on, and I'd be like, letter time,

and then it would be really big, and there'd be like a thousand performers and like 10,000 voices, all chiming in together, and they're kinda like weaving in and out of each other. Sometimes there's some auto tuning and like vocoder, but not always, and I'm like the center of this whirlpool of sound, and like letter songs, and like all the letters they're singing,

and they're all played by famous performer, you know, like John Legend is one of the letters and probably like Beyoncé is another one of the letters and like I don't know like the ghost of Frank Sinatra is one of the letters like all the biggest singers from history Jenny Lind herself shows up in the form of like and she and everyone's like what the real one and they all applaud that's a showstopping in a point. Now, while this song is going on, we're also seeing this montage of where we're going, the adventures we're having with these letters,

people writing the letters and putting them in the mail. Maybe there's a little kid who really wants a dad and sends us a letter. And maybe there's a girl who's really pretty, but she doesn't have the confidence to believe in herself and she sends us a letter. And maybe there's like somebody who just needs the strength to finish their physical therapy

and learn how to walk again, and they're gonna send us a letter. And then like God writes us a letter in lightning bolts on a big tablet and he gives it to Moses to send to us. Like Zeus? Yeah, I mean, that's a God. I was talking about the main God. Okay, capital G. Yeah, I mean, that's a God. I was sort of about the main God. Oh, okay.

Capital G. Yeah, exactly. Capital G, Jenna Dash, and then a capital D. And so like, it's just all these letters are coming together. And then it's like us digging through the mail bags while the song is going on, just like, Ba da da da da ba da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Ba ba ba, letters, oh, oh, oh, oh, letters. And then it shows us going on in our lives

and how the letters affect us. And our letters, our responses save the lives of all these people and give them the things like kind of answer the fantasies and the needs that they didn't even know how they had. And there's a lot of like, this is your moment, the letters, you have a fantasy, never leave. This is the world, the letters.

And like, just, there's a rap breakdown and like all the biggest rappers in the history are there. It's like MC Hammer's there, Kanye West is there, and Tupac's in core is there, Viggy Smalls. And I'm like, Tupac in Biggie hug, and the feud is over, and like everyone's just roaring that this song is managed to do these things. Also the power of letters, and John T. Letter himself,

the man who invented the letter, walks out, and he bestows garlands on each of us for bringing this to like its greatest conclusion and it follows us as like the glory of this keeps with us through all our days until the day all of us are dying on our deathbed together in a three person deathbed and we die and when we die we dissolve into gold dust and that gold dust gets turned into ink to write the greatest lever ever written. And then it's like, yeah, it just goes, and that's, and we just see that final letter, and the little kid gets it, and he's about to open it up and find out what that letter

says. And that's the number. Oh, that's kind of like the end of, what is that? You're a demable, the Mark Wade comic. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Where that inspires Simon Schuster, or Simon Siegel and Schuster and I'm Simon Schuster. So anyway, that's the number I wanted to do and it starts like this. No, no, no, no, no, I'm going to do the number now. No, we lost the no, no, no, no more time. So we're losing our lease on the flop. Yeah. I don't want to. I've got a 55 minute show, show, stop the musical number to do. I don't want to, I don't want to have to tell the affiliates we're going along the night.

So, oh, so I guess I'll just go tell Tupac and Bee that they're getting pushed in next episode. They're going to have that. That'll be bumped. All right. Let's do these letters. This first one is from Matthew Lastname withheld. Matthew let's go. I'd like to address the claims made by the alleged Elliott Kaelin. At the end of virtually every episode, Elliott claims that he is himself and will always be himself. But how can he be sure? Even by the time the podcast goes public, he may have changed significantly

and permanently, thus rendering his past promises null and void. The fact that Elliot, one of my three favorite flappers, has such a cavalier attitude about his future, does nothing for my chronic anxiety. He's a son for God's sake. So my question is this, what is your favorite kind of movie to discuss on the flop house? Bad, bad, good, bad, or kind of likable. Matthew with last name withheld. Well, a lot of accusations were leveled there, and I have to admit, it's true. Your skin cells and your body cells overturn after certain amount of time, and you become physically a different person than you were.

So it's that old set, it's the thing. You have a hammer, your place that had the hammer, your place that handled the hammer. It's still the same hammer that you started with I'll leave that one to the philosophers philosophers like Stu Wellington. Stu. What do you think? I mean I guess it's still your hammer I mean what's your hammer? Certainly like the law you don't like that Yeah, it's my hammer.

The ownership of the hammer just through the transference of matter. So my favorites are the good bad. Yeah, I'm in agreement with that. She would say my why? No, it's okay. You don't have to. It's kind of a... Asked an answer by Dan himself. It's kind of the purpose of the podcast. So I'm still excited whenever we find a good bad...

Dan's always on the hunt. You'd call him a hunter of sorts. And he's hunting for movies that are good bad movies. I was trying to come up with some kind of way to, way to fit Milfondre into a joke and I just got too tired. I thought you were just gonna, I thought you were just gonna say it outright.

I didn't even think you were gonna try and go for like a clever way of, I mean, I tried and then I gave up because, yeah, you know, I'm not very good with this. All right, Ellie, what are you gonna say? I guess it movies I like to flop hunter. That's the joke. Milfondre for Dan is movies I like to flop hunter. That's the joke. Milfond for Dan is movies I like to flop hunter. Oh yeah I guess that makes sense here. So yeah I mean good

bad movies are the most fun to watch and certainly I there's sometimes when it's a bad bad movie that I enjoy talking about with you guys because we can live the pain together but uh yeah good bad movies are are super fun and I'll never forget the day you guys made me turn my food fight choice. You can visit me to turn it from bad bad to good bad and you know what i never looked back. Yeah so thank you guys thank you for being a friend. Okay. Travel down the road back again okay. I was just taking his cans off and.

He wears cans for shoes. He has cans off and he wears cans for shoes. Andy last name withheld rights. I'm a new listener in convert from how did this just, how did this get made? I'm still working my way. No, call it, how did this just get made? The podcast where you're like, why did they make this movie years ago?

Usually technological limitations. I'm still working my way through the backlog. I'm loving this journey of bad movies, and it's inspired me to see Castle Freak. I have one question for you. If you could cast Nicholas Cage as any character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, who would you pick? My choice would be the century.

I can't wait to hear yours, Andy Lasting withheld. That's a controversial choice, the century. That's not a character I love to be honest. What if he was like a cyclops is dad? Wait, it's cyclops is dad Corsair of the start of the course air. That's a good one. I mean, is that technically Marvel cinematic universe at this point? I guess the X-Men would not be the one to see you. I mean, it will be when Disney buys 20th Century Fox. Yeah, that's true. They're not going to leave. So here's my choice, guys. It's the only choice I could... It's the only conceivable choice as far as I'm concerned.

There's a little superhero I've always wanted to write. His name is D-Man. He is a super strong wrestler who is occasionally homeless and sometimes has issues with other heroes not wanting to work with him. I would love to have Nicholas Cage play Demon who is a character who is like, I feel like there's a lot of depth in him and that doesn't get used and I'd love to have a character in the Marvel Universe who is also a hero and just doesn't get along with the other ones in the same way.

I feel like the Avengers, they're all like, we're the cool bros. We're all super cool. We all get along even though we kind of give each other shit every now and then. But to have a character where they're like, all right, we'll team up with this guy. Okay, and he's super enthusiastic about it. I'm so happy I get to fight with you guys. And they're like, all right, I guess we need a little bit extra muscle.

We'll take D-Man along. I would love to have that. That's Nicholas Cage's D-man. Put it right now, Marvel. I mean, I think the two more obvious choices for me, obviously, are, I mean, I think you would make it great Wonder Man, you know, a movie star slash super strong guy. I mean, that's perfect.

I mean, he's got the rocker isma for it. And the body, of course. The other one, of course, the other one to play into Nicholas Cage's strengths for like crazy kooky characters. So I think he could, I think he could do a really good moon night. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I can see that moon nights are good. I mean, I mean, he's, he's a, I think he's about the right age for that character. Uh, you mean in his 50s? I don't know about that.

I mean, but he can play like late 20s, right? Uh, probably not. I mean, if there's a lot of grease on that lens, maybe. Hey, guys, you know what would be a pretty cool match for Nicholas Cage? In fact, I think if they made movies with him as this character, they would be amazing movies, Ghost Rider. Oh, wow. It's like, leather jacket feel. Why don't they amazing movies, Ghost Rider. Oh, wow. That's cool.

Like Litherjacket feel. Why don't they do like a Ghost Rider movie with Nicholas Cage? I mean, and Ghost Rider's such a relatable character that I can really see Nicholas Cage and Ghost Rider have a skull for a head. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, I mean, Nicholas Cage has a flesh and hair on it. Yeah. And Ghost Rider's has fire on it. The flesh and hair of nature.

But you know, flesh and hairs, you know, share 99% of their DNA with fire. So that's a, by the way, that's a shout out to friend of mine point out this, this old interview that Nicholas Kaged did when talking about Ghostwriter. And somebody asked him, why, what makes Ghostwriter relatable?

Why, why did you want to play this character in this reason is because you can see that he's got a skull and thus he has bones in a skeleton like everyone else. Oh, wow. Okay, this next letter is from Mads last night with Held. What? Who writes? Yeah, who knows? Who knows? is from Mads last night with Held. What? The rights. Yeah, who knows?

Who knows? I mean, that's a pretty good guess. There's no one else with that name, so. I mean, it could easily be Mads magazines. Yeah. This says, Dearest, most charming peaches. First, I'd like to say that, start this letter by saying that your donor's only Max Fund Drive 2017 episode

was my first. And despite being called an idiot by Elliott and the explicit message of, and I quote, go fuck yourself, we don't need you from Stuart. I'm still here in eager podcast Grimblund, laughing along to your good, good goofs, which have really helped to take the edge off my sleep-filled finals week. He goes on to say, despite not having seen most of the movies you've covered, you cover. I keep thinking back to possibly the most buck wild movie I've ever watched. In Easter, I were, I word I use as loosely as possible, animated flick called The Easter Egg Adventure, a movie that proved, a movie that proved much more hard-hitting than anyone in my family expected. My favorite dream like

memory of this movie begins, brings me to my questions. Firstly, which of your favorite movies would you want to see a gritty animated reboot of? Any specific animation style or studio actors, directors? You'd like to see Bring It To Life? If an answer to this escapes you, what about the other way around?

Which animated movie would you want to see a dramatic live action retelling of? And yes, Dan, feel free to cast Jackie Chan in it Even if you forget he's there There's some peachiness and floppingness mads So either a gritty animated reboot or a gritty reboot of animation. Oh, wow. How would you like to see that realized? Man that that Rubik's cube show would make a really awesome, like, gritty, hard-hitting team thriller.

Oh yeah, Rubik, the amazing cube. Yeah, and but they could do it, I feel like you would want to do it, like, a found footage style. I mean, that's basically did that movie with that space robot. Oh right. That was basically a found footage version of ET, but with a space robot. Oh man. Like Echo, Echo to Alpha or something like that or Echo,

Echo Tanner. Okay, then I'll think of something else. First to Echo, or that one's called? Yeah, we'll watch it for the fucking show. Wait, do we watch it? Yeah. Wait, really? I think so.

I don't think we did. Oh no. Let's, let's, let's see if we did. I have, if we did, I have no memories of it. I think there was a, if I have no memories of it. I think there was a if I have no memories of that What else am I forgetting? And who put those memory blocks there the most memorable back in the world earth to echo if I can forget that what else could I bring What is my child's face look like do I have a child?

Dan what do you think? So a boy named Charlie Brown is already a stark depiction of depression in children. So I think that it'd be fun to see a gritty reboot of it directed by Lynn Ramsey. Okay. Yeah, she's so hot right now. Wondering around the streets, you know, just being kind of alienated.

Mm-hmm. Oh no. Yeah. And there's not much plot. I mean, it's a morvern color kind of Lynn Ramsey. Yeah, yeah, sure. Real rat catcher type thing, sure. Yeah.

Uh, hey guys, I'm going to flip the script on this a little bit. And I'm going to say that I was trying to think of something I'd like to see even as a joke, like rebooted or whatever, redone. And I realized that there was nothing I can think of that I feel like I haven't already seen redone in some way. And what I really wanna see is like, an original thing, or like an adaptation of something

that I am not aware of already, like not familiar with, like I think I've hit like adaptation fatigue and I don't want to see filmmakers making things that they think I'm going to like based on stuff I like already. I want to see them make like new stuff and hopefully I like like I was trying to think like I was thinking about like dyno riders for a while, which was a super stupid toy line, where I was tricked by Toys of Russ into buying what essentially was a 22-minute ad for Dino Riders as a videotape. Like, it was going to be a Dino Riders movie.

And I was like, oh, but that's kind of like Jurassic World already, like, they just add lasers to it. Like, there's nothing I can think of that I like haven't seen. That's going to blow my mind. And I started thinking of that I like have it seen that's gonna blow my mind and I started thinking about the first time I saw Star Wars or the Dark Crystal or any of that stuff. It was like a holy new world. And so that's what I want to see. But really for the purpose of entrance question, I'll say Shira, I guess. Because like Hordeck and the Horde were pretty cool villain monsters. Yeah.

And at the end, you know, the post-end credit sequence would have Skeletor in it. And they'd tease that Skeletor would be the next movie and then it would spin off into like the he-man MCU or something like that. Yeah, we were just watching an episode of the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon. And I'm kind of surprised they haven't tried to like relaunch that cartoon. Yeah. That's surprising to me too. Just because it feels like the idea of like taking a bunch of

stranger things style kids and then giving them magic powers and then they beat up on on venture. Yeah. I mean, it's it's stranger things meets Game of Thrones. That's your pitch. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like Jumanji like in second. You're right.

It's a lot like Jumanji. You're right. So they can't do it. Oh, though. A huge hit. Jumanji. I mean, it is a huge hit. No, that's what I'm saying. That's why they would totally do something exactly like it. Hollywood doesn't like to repeat itself. That's why that didn't put Robin Williams in it. They put between the Rock Johnson. Oh, still, I have some bad news to tell you. Did you know originally, Robin Williams was gonna be in rampage, and the Rock was gonna be in Jumanji, and they were like, because they switched roles.

They, the, the, the, Robin Williams was gonna be in Jumanji, but in the Rock Johnson was gonna be in rampage, and they switched roles, doing the Rock Johnson was gonna do Jumanji, Robin Williams was gonna do rampage, and then switched roles, doing the Rock Jots was gonna do, Jumanji, Raman's gonna do rampage, and then Robin Williams disappeared and they couldn't find him. So the Rock was like, I'll do that one too.

Okay, well that's sad. Yeah, I realized how sad that it was gonna get. So I just like aborted it and it didn't work out. Yeah. So this last letter is from Tim Lasting withheld. Curry who says, he writes, please don't read my email on the show. Sorry and thanks. Can't do it, Tim.

Can't do it. Wow, Dan doesn't care. Who's Tozi's step-side? That's right. Wow, jerk. What up a trader? Yeah, well, I marched to my own drum. So I can't be told.

Yeah, he's kind of like a, he's an individual. He's him. And he's great, you know. And he's got to be you, a lady with a beard. Mm-hmm. Bringing it all around. So the last thing that we do is we recommend movies that we liked that you might want to watch instead of the greatest showman. I guess I've been going first recently so I'll continue the video. Always, I think always.

Yeah, we've slipped into a comfortable rut. When it seems like to me is it's like when somebody has like, hey, I've got a I bought a candy bar, anyone want a bite? I guess I'll have one and then they just unwrap it and eat it themselves. That's what it feels like to me. Well, you can jump in. I'm not going to stop you from having some of that sweet candy. Okay, I'll jump in and I'll recommend first.

What do you guys think about that? Sure. Okay. Do I have enough time to go to the bathroom? No, probably not. Anyway, or maybe I don't know, how long, what do you have to do in there? Uh, we'll find out. Okay, well, so don't know how long what do you have to do in there? We'll find out.

Okay. Well, so I guess my recommendations going to be a little longer than I intended. We're spending the old potty roulette reel, I guess. See how long you're still going to be in there. It's a toilet seat and they spin it like a roulette wheel. Yeah. And the ball always falls into the hole in the middle. So always bet it's always bet on the hole. Yeah. When you're playing potty roulette. It's also called potty roulette because it's at a kids casino. Yeah. It's a wild one. For toddlers in in little Vegas. Or no, tots Vegas, it's called it's called tots Vegas. Mm hmm. You got to talk long enough that Stuart leaves the bathroom when we still haven't gotten to recommendations yet.

That's right. I guess that the kids, Vegas, they bet like, grandcrackers or something, like goldfish crackers? Yeah, yeah, goldfish crackers, grandcrackers, those little peanut butter sandwich crackers. Oh, yeah. That the kids can't seem to get enough of. Yeah, the snack that I sometimes got from the gas station when I was looking for snacks because it felt somehow a little healthier than other crappy snacks, but instead had a huge number of calories.

Yeah, that's it. That's a good way to pick up. That's like, you're like the person who's like, hold on, I got to watch out for my health. I'll get a diet soda. Yeah, like we could just not drink soda. Anyway, are you talking about nature Valley or null bars? Well, no, but those also fit into that. It feels like it should be healthy category. Yeah, but they have a lot of calories. Yeah, but you know, calories calories that's just energy, baby. Another science fact for Mr. Wizard himself Stuart Welley, too. Okay, guys, so I'm going to recommend a movie. This is a comedy I saw recently that I didn't love everything about it, but I found a lot of it

genuinely funny, which has not been the case for a lot of recent comedies for me. It's a movie called The Little Hours, starring basically the same cast of comedy people you see all over the place and everywhere. There's Aubrey Plazza's in it, Molly Shannon's in it, Fred Armas' in it, all these people. And it's about, it's a comedy set in 14th century Italy in a convent, and it's kind of like if Heathers was set at a medieval convent in a way where it's a, I think the plot line was not

improvised, but the script is all improvised and it is just characters in a historical setting talking like modern people talk and I thought a lot of it was really funny. The plot goes in a direction where I was like, all right, this is kind of not what I'm looking for from this movie, but I enjoyed it more than not. And John C. Reilly is in it too, and he's really funny. Everyone's real funny in it. It's based on a story from the Decameron, right? Supposedly, I've never read the Decameron, so I don't really know how close. I mean, the greatest showman is supposedly based on PT Barnum's life. It doesn't really apply that much, but

if you want to watch a funny movie. I like that movie a little hours I want to go because I'm gonna give a qualified recommendation And I also have a qualified recommendations. No, no, no, it's cool. You can go Wait, hold on. What are you gonna recommend? No, Dan then he should just give his recommendation So I'm gonna go along. I'm gonna piggyback off of Elliot's style recommendation. I'm gonna recommend a little comedy that I liked that I saw recently

that also stars Ari Plaza. I'm gonna recommend Ingrid Goes West. I wanna see that. Which is about a woman who is obsessed with social media and has great difficulty interacting with the world outside of that until she kind of does. It's just, it's this fun, sad little movie about obsession and trying to relate to other people.

And it features some fun performances. It's not like, you know, it's not like a super funny movie, but it's kind of funny. And it has a really great performance from O'Shea Jackson Jr. as Aubrey Plasas characters. Batman obsessed landlord turned boyfriend, I guess. And Dan, are you gonna finish this Aubrey Plasas

at trifecta? No, I'm not. And the reason why I asked Stuart what he's gonna recommend, because I briefly thought we were gonna recommend the same thing, because I realized that there's something I didn't have to give a qualified recommendation to. I liked enough to give a full recommendation to, which was the endless, which is a little...

Yeah, I still haven't gotten to see it yet. Okay, it's like kind of an Andy horror movie, Cosmic Horror, a little sci-fi, a little bit of like a brother's relationship drama, and a little bit of a comedy. It's from the filmmaker who made a spring and resolution, which were both movies I recommended on the show. It's a good movie.

I gave the quiet place a little shit on our Facebook group because I liked it. I think it's a very well-made movie, but I was like, this is kind of like a basic horror movie that I've seen before. I feel like the endless, if you're looking for a little bit of a different horror movie, it's for you Even though it's not just trying to be scary. I mean hasn't hasn't a quiet place made enough money that it's a thriller now And not a horror movie. Yeah, I think that's the rules. Yeah, I think so But just quickly the basic premise of the endless is two brothers the older one pulled the younger one out of a cult when they were

like teens and the younger one doesn't like life on the outside and convinces the brother to go back and visit and then a bunch of weird stuff starts happening. So that's the, that's, you don't want to know anything more than that going in. Don't tell me anything more than that. Yeah, so. Not asking you too. Okay, but it's not an endless movie, right? It's only like an hour and a half. No, it is one of those movies that tempts fate

when it comes to critics making up snarky headlines. That and also Infinity War, same as it. Man, that's my fucking favorite is like even fucking coal bear, which I don't know like are they higher the oldest guys in the world to write their bits because it's like you can see this fucking writer's room is some old fucker saying like infinity war more like infinity infinite cast of characters. He turns into Audrey too. Well, just Audrey from he turns into Audrey to turn to Audrey too.

And then he go up, steward down while he's trying to buy a plant. And I deserve it for making fun of his jokes. Just Audrey. That was a very complicated scenario that just got just gotten spun to life. And this is coming from someone who often starts sentences not knowing how they're going to end. Yeah, so Stuart, did you recommend something or not?

Yeah, I fucking just did. Okay, wait. Did you think for a second that like time stopped and my recommendation happened all inside your brain? Yeah. I'm genuinely starting to worry about you after this episode. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, we didn't talk about my favorite musical number.

Yeah, we did. Stuart talked about it and I talked about it. Yeah, well, we never introduced ourselves. Yeah, we did at the beginning of the show. Did I say we never introduced ourselves? Did you hit record on this podcast, I fucking hope. Okay. Or I kinda hope not, I don't know.

Maybe we'll do it all over again. Okay, I'm welcome to the flat house, I'm Ellie Kaelin, that's Stuart. This is Dan Memory, man McCoy. Yeah. But I know people don't realize Dan got my mentoed since the last episode. I'm, yeah, I'm the character at the end of the 39 steps. I actually, uh, Mr. Memory. Mr. Memory, yeah.

Even that you couldn't remember. Great job. Great job, Mr. Memory. I like the idea that you have very specific tattoos for each episode on you. You like, look at your arm and it says, we talked about the love duet scene with the, with the trapeze artist. You're like, okay, never mind. But tattoos as we watched it already.

The document already. Yeah. So I'm getting tattoos like during the podcast, just like constantly. Yeah, I've in mean to talk to you about that. The sound of the tattoo needle has been very distracting to the listeners. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. All right. It's just really cool, you know? How do you like being a human canvas? It's all in Ray Bradbury's short story collection, The Illustrated Dan, every tattoo on Dan tells the story. That's that song, Gratio is saying, Dan, The Tattooed Lady. Yep. So let's close up the old mailbag, close up the old recommendations bag. Time for the circus to close down. It's leaving town and going somewhere else. Yeah, close up the old recommendations bag time for the circus to close down it's leaving town and going somewhere else yeah close up the old flop bag

for the flop bag wait wait hold on Dan aren't all bags floppy like once a bag is not floppy anymore it it becomes a briefcase. Yeah. For a box. Yeah. Thank you, Stewart. Isn't a box just a bag that's not flopped? Dan, you're tick. All right. Well, I guess take me away to jail. You caught me.

Let's drag him the hell, everybody. Okay. Well, again, for the floppas, I've been Dan McCoy. Yeah, I'm Stewart Wellington. And I thought I was always gonna be like a long but now I'm not so sure All right, good bye everyone. Bye-bye No, no, did you see my post on the Facebook group about the guy who was sitting next to me at an interest in any war. Oh yeah. Yeah. He was super pumped up by it. Yeah and then he was like, oh man, they really jacked us up, didn't they? To me afterwards. Like he like nudged us me and I'm like, yeah man, they really did. And then as soon as like the close pet singer was done

and I stood up, he would be like, shakans. Whoa! You guys are brothers in battle. You and Finley wore together. Yeah, I find that hilarious.