The Flop House - Ep. #265 - Geostorm LIVE

Episode Date: September 1, 2018

The Peaches are still on their life-mandated summer break, so we bring you this second live episode, straight from the Historic Sixth & I Synagogue in Washington, D.C. We'll be back with normal episodes soon, we promise! Until then, enjoy Geostorm! Wikipedia synopsis for Geostorm

On this episode we discuss Geostorm live in Washington DC Hey everyone, welcome to the... Did it, did it in one, done in one. That's why they call them Dan in one. That's why they call him Dan in one. Not because you've only ever had one Dan and yogurt in your life, but because you do everything in one take, we're recording now, Dan. Alright, let's do that one more time. We'll put that on the blue tree. Hey and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy.

Hey Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaylen and together we're... The flop house. I don't know. Featuring. Dan McCoy. And. Stuart Wellington.

And me, Elliot Kaylen. And together we are... The flop house. Oh boy. I'm caught in a time loop. Yeah. I'm just stuck in a jail. I'm stuck in a jail. I'm stuck in a jail. I'm stuck in a jail. I'm stuck in a jail. I'm stuck in a jail. Elliott K. Lynn and together we are the flop house. Oh boy.

Upon a time loop. Yeah. I'm stuck in a geostom. Now another word for a time loop is a wristwatch. Thanks. Thanks asshole. So Dan, what do we do? So guys, I want to talk about something today. I want to talk about the weather. I don't know if you noticed, but it's raining outside. And you know what rain is a precursor to? What? The GEO Storm Thank You. Which is a movie we watched and are going to talk about tonight on the Flop House podcast,

starring me, Stuart Wellington. And me, Elliot Kaylen. And me, Dan McCoy. It's a time loop, like a walk-alike. Okay guys we're in Washington DC. Okay that's the last time you guys are gonna cheer when we say Washington DC. Dan I cannot work with these people. Alright bring in the next round. Bring in the audience's understudies. Now, what should you see is full of political power.

But you know what it's not full of? Stop it! It's not full of weather power. Like we see in today's movie, Geostorm. The story of Italian immigrant Geostormini. And how he worked his way up from a humble boot picker, someone who picks boots off trees when they are thrown there by rich people

who do not care to clean them. And how he made his way to being the top weatherman in the country. And now they call him Sam Champion. I think that's a local reference. I don't know. And it's a local reference. I don't know. And it's a local reference not to this region. Yeah.

Dan, I am so busy in my life. I don't have time to look up who the weatherman of Washington, DC is, or weather woman, or weather wizard. I don't know. I don't know who the captain cold is in Washington, DC. I would like the idea that there is a weather wizard that does the weather here in DC on the local channel. It's just like, today I feel like I need a cold snap.

See, it's voices like that that I don't know. I feel like you're being prejudiced against wizards. Yeah, maybe he's using his powers to make life better. You know, who's a wizard people like? Dumbledore? I thought you were going to say Mr. Wizard. He's not really a wizard, Dan. Oh, I like science isn't magical, Elliot. You got me there. Because there's nothing more magical than science except the laughter of children. And Mr. Wizard, well he didn't actually cause kids to laugh.

No, he said he's not bad, right? He just put acids and bases together and saw them fizz. And Ace is a bassist together. So we have a facet. The fizziest pop group. We've effectively derailed this show. So what we do on this podcast is we watch a bad movie then we talk about it. And today we're talking about Geostorm.

Thank you. So guys, before we get started. I have something to say about Geostorm. Thank you. So guys, before we get started. I have something to say about Geostorm. Okay. Geostorm is, and I use this in the technical term, the technical sense of the word, a dumb movie. Oh, okay. It is so dumb and I'm gonna, I'm gonna class a bunch. Did anybody out there watch Geostorm? I'm gonna classify. Did anybody out there watch Geostorm? Oh boy. You're welcome Geostorm.

Where's our check, Jarrari Butts? That's Jarrari Butts, Nickname that I gave him. Jarrari Butts. He does not like it. So a Geostorm is a new type of dumb, or rather an old type of dumb. And I'm going to classify it something I call 80s action dumb.

Because when you watch an action movie from the 80s, you have to accept a certain amount of stupid. And they just don't care. They'll just throw whatever dumb at you. And geostorm is like that. It's just hurling dumb at you constantly. It's a stupid movie. I find some comfort in that. It doesn't waste time. It just keeps moving. Well, we should dumb by geostrom. A freeze frame. Hey, you're probably wondering how geostrom got so dumb. like it doesn't waste time it just keeps moving up. We should talk about judgment.

Freeze frame. Hey, you're probably wondering how Geostorm got so dumb. Well, it all started like this. Guys, should we talk about what Geostorm's about? Let's get into the synopsis of Geostorm. Now, you probably think Geostorm is about a world where natural disasters have gotten out of control. And they've got a band together to fight. The Earth has got a band together to stop this.

Well, you don't know is, that's the subject of the opening VO, which tells you how in the future, ecological catastrophe was threatening the world with natural disasters and the world banded together to stop it and did. That's the opening of the movie. They did it already. Narration over. The finest stock footage that money could buy.

And then it turns into the finest CGI disaster footage that I Assume they did not have money to buy You know it's you know it's gonna be a good movie when that opening monologue is delivered by a child. Oh, yeah If you mentioned a prophecy, you know it would have gotten the academy. My mama always told me about geostorms. You know a lot about geostorms. Daddy always said that the geostorm was going to come for a someday. I just didn't know this would be the day. Geostorm, opening titles.

And then like, I don't know, God tells His angels to go call humanity or something. Anyway, it's a different type of little girl giving a VO. She says, America and the world fought back. And scientists neutralized the storms with a system of satellites called Dutch Boy. After the paint they used to coat the satellites, it could have been called the Red Devil System. Or after the delicious pancake.

See, I thought it was named after... Is that a Dutch boy pancake? I believe there's a Dutch boy pancake. Am I right or wrong? Dutch there's a Dutch pancake. There's not a Dutch boy. All right. I guess Dutch boy pancakes. That's a baby Dutch That's what I'm thinking of. I haven't heard of that. They named a pancake after a After a Dutch infant Makes you think feel like you're eating an infant every time you have it Stewart how do you feel about that? I'm just thinking about eating an infant. No, I assume that it was named after a German hip hop act, Dike Kinn.

But I guess after Dutch pancakes make sense. Yeah, no, Dutch boy is named after the classic tale of the flood that will engulf the city of Dutch because the wall has a hole in it and then a little Dutch boy sticks his finger in the hole in the wall. I assume dying in the process and turns back the mighty course of God's rimmers. I like the idea that he has to stay there for the rest of his life. How else are they gonna do? The other side of the walls are raging torrent.

There's a spatula there, they can do it. 80 years later, he finally just passes away and the city dies. No, I assume he lived to 80 something years old. That's a full life, Dan. That's true. A rich full life of standing by a wall. I mean, presumably looking at two lips.

Yeah. Yeah, it's nice. I mean pancakes. So, where he checks out, wouldn't she, when Mills, all that stuff. Here's the thing. Hollywood, why have we not had our grim and gritty reboot of the Dutch Boy story? Where he like chops his finger off with an axe after he sticks it in the wall and he's like, there's your damn plug.

Yeah. So we're like five seconds into the soul with the point. Yeah, so the girl who's doing the vio says her dad was the scientist who led the team. Wouldn't you know who her dad is? Star of the movie. Gerard Butler, synonym for brilliant scientist. Gerard Butler, he's the Dutch boy guy as we know because we see him getting out of a taxi cab in

Washington DC and being And being accosted by some dude on the sidewalk who's like hey you're the Dutch boy guy. Thanks for saving everybody He's the security guy Still weird that he's just like hey you're the Dutch boy if he's the security guy He should know that the Dutch boy scientist is going to testify before the Senate that day. So what I mean, wait, look who it is! When you see the Dutchboy guy in person for the first time, like you can't help but tell him all of his accomplishments. Except later, when the Dutchboy guy is given his team of scientists and they do not recognize him, the most famous scientist in the world who invented the system they use and is the head of their field

and looks like Gerard Butler. Anyway, so we'll get to that. Gerard Butler, as we see in this hearing, is a bad boy of science. He keeps flouting proper procedure, which means the Senate gets mad and he gets fired by the new head of the Dutch boy system, his younger brother Max. Oh! And that makes it sound like Max is like eight, which would be amazing. Yeah. But no, he's just like, he's just a few years ago. And now we've got family stakes because the stakes of the world being destroyed later on are not enough. We need to know whether Gerard Butler makes up with his brother or and whether they have a delicious

dinner at family stakes. The best place to take your family for stake. Hey, it's a little on the nose. Have you ever wondered what your family would taste like in steak form? We know what they taste like in pancake form, if they're a baby at least. But what about steak form? Well, if you wanted to find out in the past, you'd get arrested. We're killing and eating your family, but now you don't have to at family steaks. We give every member of your family a long questionnaire about their hobbies, dreams, maybe their secret wishes and fears. Then we take an

inner cheek swab and decode their genome. Hey, did you know that you are 0.06% Navajo? Well, you do now and it's gonna be in your stake. So that's the family's state's difference. Is every state costs $40,000? And it takes six months. That's called aged beef. Anyway, so Max has put in charge of the Dutchboy system. Three years later, for some reason we jump forward in time, some UN peacekeeping troops in Afghanistan, because that's right, scientists have been able to tame the weather, but we're still stuck in Afghanistan because that's right. Scientists have been able to tame the weather, but we're still stuck in Afghanistan.

They find a frozen village. Everyone there in the middle of the desert has been flash frozen and one soldier he accidentally said. It looks like the worst coarsely commercial. Like if that coarsely bullet train drove by then like flash froze everybody and they died. Somebody tapped the Rockies in Afghanistan which is doubly bad one because it's a war crime too. They don't drink.

That's offensive. Yeah. One of the soldiers, he reaches out and touches a village's hand which snaps off. To do that dude. That's not part of the rules of engagement, just snapping people's hands off. And he pops it into his drink. He's like, um, chilly. Well. And then he pops it into his drink. He's like, hmm, chilly.

Yeah. Well, he shouldn't pop it into his chilly. You want your chilly to be hot. Anyway, Max, we see him flirting with his girlfriend, a secret service agent, played by Abby Cornish. Abby Cornish? Where do I know Abby Cornish from? Aside from the hand that bears her name.

Well, you took the joke right out from under me, Elliot. Well, you got to wake up pretty early in the morning to make a poultry-based joke that I'm not going to get to first. As my son said to me a week ago, when he was trying to convince me we should have chicken Parmesan for dinner. And this is a direct quote. He said, it has chicken, which you love. You know, it's me pretty well, that boy of mine.

Where do I know Abby Cornish from? I don't, I, she plays Woody Harrelson's wife in three billboards. I haven't seen that yet. She was in Sucker Punch, a movie that you definitely watched once. Oh yeah, for this show. Okay, anyway, they have a secret relationship because she's in the secret service. I'm ironic Ken Jigyeh, It's like rain on your wedding day. And there's a security council meeting. President Andy Garcia, because he's now at the playing the president stage

of his career. When he's the president and somebody else's movie, a younger person's movie, there's a problem with the satellites. And Secretary of State Decom played by Ed Harris so you know he's the bad guy instantly because he's a grizzled bald cyborg of a man. He's got two things going against him. Number one, he's the second in command. So always the second command is the bad guy. Number two, he is Ed Harris. Yeah, and his name is Decom, which is like, that's not a human name, is it? Yeah.

Like, if his name was Digum and he was a serial frog mascot, I'd be like, that's more realistic than if his name is Decom. Yeah, it's a thing that you yell when you're in a bar fight. Decom. If you're in a bar fight in the 20s. They say, there's a problem with the satellites and Max, he has this moment where he goes, hey, you know what? I'm going to take a stand here. And also, the United States is about to hand over control of these satellites to the UN.

Why the United States had control of them when it was an international effort? I don't know, dude. We just take shit. That's what we do. But the little brother goes, hey, let's send scientists up there to fix it. And he says it like this is, he's really swimming against the tide like a salmon to spawn on this one. And and Harris says the president says no we'll send one person we can control and at Harris says

get me Gremlin batler It's where that he used our nickname for to ride Butler in the movie. We've become part of the vernacular, you know? so this is where Gerard Butler comes back into the movie. We find out that he's a bad dad and that he also happens like soccer. So it makes me believe. You see what's going on here? It makes me believe that he insists on that being included in all scripts

that he's like, the floppyos boys made it cannon. So I might as well add it to all me movies. So uh, Max convinces Jake to leave his precocious swearing 13 year old daughter and go back up into space because also on the International Space Station where the Dutch boy system is controlled, what an attack, a technician from what Egypt, his name is Machmoud. I couldn't recognize the flag on his arm. I think it's Egyptian. I don't know. I apologize if it's not.

Look, I don't know flags. I'm not some kind of Carmen Sandiego. Who knows all the flags? Oh, good. I mean, because if you are, I'd have to make a citizen's arrest. You need to know three things about me, though, Dan. Do you know about the color of my eyes, my favorite food, and my favorite artist?

Because if you don't, you can't hold me copper. It's like, oh, we've got all this. We've got all this security footage of Carmen Sandiego taking the diamonds, but we don't know her favorite food. I mean, just put pizza down to save that. So this technician, he learns something about the satellites that's not good. He hides the readings he's got on his hollow.

It's a hologram clipboard. Yeah, they got like these little pins that they can whip and they turn into like a little hologram like... No pay. Yeah, like a screen. So this is the movie, this is the point where the movie lost me because they have this technology to control the weather and they have this technology to carry tiny little hologram video screens. But while this guy is walking through the space station, he passes a guy playing video games with a wired controller.

What the fuck? You're right. When you're right, you're right, Stewart right Stuart take that geostorm the one flaw This is you're a perfect shimmering diamond before that the one part of smog's underbelly not covered in a thick bed of jewels and Thus vulnerable to an arrow from what's the guy Bard Bowman the bar Bowman Bard Bowman's the guy who shoot the smell the drag. Yeah, I didn't remember his name. I'm sorry I don't know the name of every character in that book. I mean, it mom. I'm the drag. Yeah, I didn't remember his name. I'm sorry. I don't know the name of every character in that book. I mean, it's a pretty simple name.

Okay, don't. Don't joke. How am I supposed to remember that the Bowman's name is Bowman? An example of Tolkien's rich linguistic skills at work. The man invented multiple languages, but he's like, he's a Bowman. Let's call him Bowman, whatever. Okay. That guy, he finds some secret readings, hides his hologram clipboard in a locker,

and then is immediately trapped in a hallway, and then all the walls fly off the hallway, and he's sucked into space and killed. This looks like a job. For George. For George. Okay. Meanwhile.

I wasn't a trick question. No, it's not. Meanwhile. I wasn't a trick question. No, it's not. It's meanwhile in Hong Kong, a scientist, Chang, he sees that the Afghan satellite over the frozen tail. We're only a minute into the movie right now. Is acting weird. He tries to call Max, who is his old call, Droomade.

He goes and he gets his voice mail. This is my favorite part. He goes to Bodega and interacts with a cat, interfreezer for a while. Yeah, it's pretty adorable. Yeah. And then suddenly the streets start exploding and he has to drive away as skyscrapers fall down around him. Yeah, he's he's somehow out running hot streets on his in his car and I'm like, why are the tires melting? Like I love the movie streets of fire, but this is ridiculous. Like I love the movie Streets of Fire, but this is ridiculous. Mm-hmm.

Right Dan? Yeah, sure, Streets of Fire. Walter Hale, movie. Yeah, I grade an A plus on the math of that joke. No extra credit needed. No extra credit needed. At the chalkboard, a mathematical proof is like, Let's look it out.

Okay, I'll tell you. Streets on fire, Streets of Fire, it is ridiculous. Okay. A square of the circle and we're done. So this makes me wonder, people I could tell that it was super hot and that makes me wonder if we live on a planet where you can control the weather all the time. Why wouldn't it just be nice everywhere all the time? And that's not really how climate works. Like you need rain and snow and things like that. But do you? I mean, you have science controlling the box.

That's the thing. That's the thing. Is Elon Musk at the table right now? Oh, I was like, no one's ever thought about this before. Guys, I'm just saying, a series of tubes around a city would get people around really fast. We got to build a my column Musk tubes. He's disrupting weather.

I mean, that's the problem is we are disrupting weather. So at this point where it's pretty clear, I mean it was pretty clear to me right away that this guy is being assassinated by a satellite. Yes, or they're trying to. This isn't some freak accident that this satellite is trying to burn him alive, which seems like a crazy way to kill one person. Oh, wait for the rest of the movie. him alive, which seems like a crazy way to kill one person. Oh boy. Oh boy. Wait for the rest of the movie. Yeah.

So Gerard Butler goes up to the space station on his own. They send an entire space shuttle up, and he seems to be the only one sitting on it, which is a waste of fuel. Let's just say that. He arrives, and then we see a space shuttle. It's the ultimate luxury, and when he arrives, he talks to the space station as if it was a former lover. He arrives, and is rude to the new head scientist,

a German woman named what, Utt, Uta, what was her name? Yeah, Uta, I think is right. Yeah, it's anyway, I don't know if that's a real German name, or if it's a name like Deckham, which is not a, which is like a Star Wars name, where George Lucas was like, I prefer Mace Windu and throughout Deckham.

Then he's introduced to his team, who are all international scientists, and they introduce themselves, and the English member of the team, Duncan, is like, oh great, an Americans in charge, and now he's going to tell us what to do, just like an American. He's like, let me introduce myself. I'm Jake Lawson, inventor of the Dutchboy, and they're like, you're Jake Lawson, and it's like, hold on a second. Like I said, the security guy at the capital building recognized him on

Site the people who work in his field at the place he built Isn't his picture up somewhere like even as just like our old manager like what he was in the newspaper I assume by by the way Elliot the reverb in this place is a lot. So for a second, I thought you were saying, I'm Jake Awesome, which they should have called them that. They've done all the way. So this movie is dumb. The scientist, he, Chang, he tells Max that explosion back in Hong Kong.

Those weren't just burst pipes. And it's like, no shit, dude, like half the city blew up. And they try to get into the Hong Kong satellite. Their excess has been blocked. And Chang warns Max that if Dutch boy breaks down it could cause a chain reaction of storms and bad weather. Called a Geostorm. Yeah. And once the Geostorm starts nothing can stop it.

Not even the power of love. The most powerful thing in the universe. So get out of here, Huey Lewis. And that doesn't take money, it doesn't take fame. Nope. Don't need a credit card to ride that train. No, that's very ahead of his time, that he's trying to find a train ticket with a credit card.

You don't really do that at the time. Yeah, that's right. Huey Lewis futurist. That's more than Raymond Kurshwile. I don't see any fucking singularities going on. Huey Lewis, any notice that it is hip to be square these days. Am I right with these tech billionaires and everything? Huey Lewis, it should have been called Huey Lewis

and the Noctur Domasis. All right. It's that kind of forward thinking that reminds me of that Van Halen's long Panama, where one of the scat lines, I'm pretty sure David Lee Roth says, set your cell phone down. Which is wild. It's just like,

it's just like there was that Charlie Chaplin movie from while ago where people were like, a woman's using a cell phone in the background. Look at that, and she's like, well, she's clearly not, but okay. I, you know what, if that's the rule, do you want to live in and sure, Kazam starring Sinbad was a movie, like, sure, okay.

I know, Kazam is the one they say, Kazam was the... Which one is it? Oh boy, let's not even get started with that. Then we're going down the baronstein, baronstein, wormhole. Anywho, Chen goes back to work, but Gunman raid his office and he has to hide in the closet. Uh oh, Max goes to the techie that works for him, Zazzy Beats from Atlanta, and the hit film Deadpool 2.

She's one of the best things about the movie. She actually sells her material. Well, she's great, and she's much better than this movie dessert. Yeah. She's good in everything, except maybe something I haven't seen her in. I shouldn't make these sweeping states. Right in lettering and yell at Elliot if he's wrong about that. Right and letter saying,

knows as he beats was bad and one thing, care of Elliot Kaelin. See, care of the flop house podcast, Dan's house. Can I give them your address, Dan? No. No. Or if you want to deliver your complaint in person after the show, you can just come up to Dan McCoy

and tell him why Elliot's wrong. Yeah, please tell Dan McCoy. Well, I'm like the, okay. And she's like, we've been blocked out of the satellites intentionally. Someone's trying to keep us from controlling the satellites. Jake and Max have, they have a call, and they have some back and forth brother

personal history they argue. It's not exactly a duel of acting Titans. And they both, let me just say this both, despite them being super smart scientists or political operators, they both have that like Donnie from the block accent. Hey you my broda, come on. I'm appearing on the super scientist who made a way to control sad like, come on, forget

come on, come on you my broda, come on, you my old broda, come on, they're all freight them. They're all freight them. Because actors who are not Americans. That is the easiest accent for them to do. It's why Venom in the new movie is like, you know, I'm a reporter from the newspaper.

Dangerous game. Dangerous game. You look because when we were driving down here today in a rest stop, we saw a license plate that just said, for Alfredo and we were wondering, is that a person or the sauce?

Yeah, we're really hoping it was for the sauce. Because I mean, that kind of describes my whole lifestyle, right? Isn't that what it's all about? Just doing it for Alfredo? And before you say something, Alfredo is not the name of the character, Alfred, right? His name is Gordon Shumway. What?

Alph stands for Alien Life Form. What are you saying? It's a baronstein, baronstein, baron's moment for you, Stuart. Alph's name is Gordon, because he's an alien. Anyway, so we have a series of scenes where someone is using the satellite equipment to try to kill George Butler and make it look like it was an accident. First they make us

actual satellite go zooming around crazy time in a hallway. Then they go on a spacewalk to get some data drive that was embedded after an explosion or some nonsense and his his space suit jets fly around and he's like he retrieves the data that has the thing that the guy who got killed earlier had and he tells nobody but Oot because he smells a rat on the team. Meanwhile. Yeah, I feel like that space sequence was basically like, what if we took all of gravity and condensed it and made it less fun?

Yeah. What have we done? It made the special effects worse. Special effects. And instead of it being Sandra Bullock, we don't want to die. It's Gerard Butler. Who I guess he hurtled into a star, we wouldn't care. I mean, I wouldn't spend that much time worrying about it, to be honest. Like no offense to Gerard Butler, he doesn't weigh that heavily on my life.

There are certain stars where if they fell into a literal star, I'd be like, oh, that's terrible. And I don't think of any of that. And you'd be like, oh, how did that happen? I'd be like, that's terrible and I don't can't think of any and you're like oh how did that happen I feel like weird that a Hollywood star died by hurtling it was maybe somebody confused the two of them I mean like Elijah Wood he'd really found a niche for himself as like this cult guy and he had his own record label and stuff and oh it's too bad he fell into a star but George Butler's like I don't. OK, should have been a real butler,

taking a lesson from his name, not gotten involved in space hijinks, unless he becomes a space butler. Like what? In heaven? Or if he's left in outer space. Like, what would a space butler do? What would their job be? He can't dust anything, because that does just going to fly around in zero G.

I mean you would probably greet people and they come into outer space. Dan what does a butler do in real life? I only butler I know I think about is Alfred or Mr. Belvedere. And I have to assume butler. The most famous butler in the world. The search engine? Get a load of this guy. I mean, you know, he's a famous PG wood-ask character, and you also get to ask him things.

All right. That was a dead end. I apologize to everybody. I introduce, no, this is my fault. I introduced the idea of a space butler, and I thought that might be funny in some way. But I was wrong. So, okay. You were thinking of like a mega-made type situation

in space balls. Yeah, like a mega-made, exactly. Now you're talking mega-made from the funniest movie ever made when I was 11, Spaceballs. Okay, Max is supposed to meet up with Chang, but a thug pushes Chang in front of a car. They realize it's a lot easier to kill someone. You don't need to blow up all of Hong Kong to do it. Humans are a thug pushes Chang in front of a car. They realize it's a lot easier to kill someone. You don't need to blow up all of Hong Kong to do it.

Humans are frail, push him in front of a car. They run up to him and his dying words are, Zeus, Zeus. And it was this point, I was like, is it going to turn out Zeus is doing this? Because he's mad. That humanity usurped his weather-controlling powers. And I was like, geostorm, it turns out Zeus is the villain that I love you. And Ed Harris would, of course be the villain, but he would suddenly, like,

Jafar at the end of Aladdin when he becomes a genie. He just turned, suddenly inflate to this hugely muscled guy and a beard would spring out of his face, and then he'd appear to Lita in the form of a swan and give her a baby. That's he? That's a Greek mythology character. That's a Greek mythology. He's a gross character.

I feel like Zeus is a complicated character in today's movie. You're talking about the wrestler from No Holds Bar, right? Yes, the wrestler from No Holds Bar, yeah. Okay, so anyway, Jake and Max talk again. Jake is J.R. Jake is is jar brother. Jar brother tells his brother a story about how they went fishing with their dad and how important family is. And Max tells Domino from Deadpool 2 that they never went fishing with their dad.

This is a message in a code they invented when they were 12. And they play it back and it's like every other word. And you get this super cut of jar about like on proof of sabotage at highest levels of government. And it's like, oh, hold on a second. Yeah. So wait, but like the key is his cell phone number. So it's like, okay, the third word, the ninth word,

the whatever word. And like that's what, and Domino has like a program open on her computer already. Yeah, that's like a sound editing thing. We're like, yeah, I'll just skip from word to word. She's editing her student film or podcast or something. But it's also like, it means that Gerard Butler was sitting there writing out this message.

Yeah, he was memorizing it. He memorized it and it still doesn't tell them very much of anything. It's like, all my friend was pushed in front of a car by a mysterious thug. You think there's sabotage at a high level of the government? Yeah, maybe. He memorized that and then delivered it perfectly.

Like, he is that good of an actor. You know what? You're right. Gerard Butler, I apologize. I don't want you thrown in a star. They find the project Zeus file because of course there's a project Zeus. Now, there's a thing though, when they, when they enter them together to hear just those words, why don't they just do that for all his scenes?

Hear me out explain and what would that be? How about every scene with Jared Butler is him edited together all crazy What movie would that be We called crazy quilt throwing Grimmem Baller and it would be the first He's a quilt throwing Grimble and Banner. And it would be the first, well I mean that's a DC Universe movie because Crazy Quilts are Batman and Batman. Yeah, he's Batman.

So it is told from the bad guy's point of view, never seen that before, have you? Also, so what was Crazy Quilts? His power, he had power over quilts. But only crazy. He could drive quilts crazy. He's like, my quilt store. No, I can't sell these quilts.

Now they're crazy. I thought as soon as you would introduce that, I'd have them have a quilt store. No, I can't sell these quilts, now they're crazy. I thought, as soon as you would introduce that, I'd have them have a quilt store. I thought you'd be like, come on down, my quilt prices are crazy. Oh yeah, yeah, he was crazy quilt, the crazy quilt salesman. And then I guess, I don't know.

All the people of Gotham have spent all their money on quilts. The town is bankrupted, but very warm. Are you tired of expensive quilts? Come on down to crazy quilts. One day, why make an American quilt when you can buy one at Crazy Quils? You don't even know how. And I guess the store was hit by lightning while he was in it.

And he turned half man half quilt or something like that. And it was the lower half so he's like, now I can never pleasure a woman the way I want to. I'm going to turn to a life of quilt-based crime. So he's like stealing paper towels. He's like that. Yeah. He can steal like fabric, but only in tiny squares. And that's the same type of fabric twice.

And you're like, this is a cool pattern. It's too bad I can only use it once, even though I had to buy a 12-foot-foot-roll of it. And Batman's like, this is, you're not really committing crimes. This is just a weird issue you have. You're afraid to go crazy quilts. Well, I'd 12-foot roll of it. And Batman's like, this is, you're not really committing crimes. This is just a weird issue you have. You're afraid to go crazy quilts, I don't know. Why isn't there a blue apron for Fabric then, guys, right? Stuart, why are you doing whatever you do for living

and not doing that? I have to imagine there's this Batman has to. It's a love of the game, Elliot, that's really why I do it. I have to imagine Batman has to audition villains all the time And he'll be like hmm. I'm sorry You don't make the cut and the villains are always gonna be like so calendar man makes it in and I don't make it in He's like he was grandfathered in What cuz his dad fought him

Yeah, he bought his villain medallion before these regulations were put in place. I mean, now we're just doing venture brothers bits. Yeah, that's true. Okay, so they have to go to the White House to crack up in the Zeus file. So Secret Service girlfriend to the rescue, they find out that Project Zeus is a file full of scenarios for creating geostorms. That's right. You might as well call this War Games too, stupid War Games.

It's being used to attack cities. They decide the only way to get around it is to reboot the Dutchboy system, but only the president has the codes to do that. And Jake thinks the president might be that behind all this, so that the United States can keep control of Dutchboy. But hear me out. If Dutchboy is going crazy and blowing up cities, isn't that the United States can keep control of Dutch boy, but hear me out If Dutch boy is going crazy and blowing up cities isn't that the best argument against the United States retaining control of Dutch boy Like the world is gonna be like there's a major problem with Dutch boy. We don't want to deal with it America

It's in your lap. Yeah, I mean this obviously is a misdirect Antigarcy is not the bad guy, but when they try and make it out like he was going to be the bad guy I'm like why is it so important that America keeps Dutch boy that we're going to start zapping cities? Yeah, it doesn't make sense. But- So do you think the other countries would be like, well, the United States hasn't been targeted yet, so they don't have any skin in the game. Let them stay in control. They're an impartial observer, so they don't want revenge against it. You won't let your messy emotions and fear get in the way America anyway uh Max is like

secret service girlfriend i'm gonna need you to steal some more codes and they plan to do they're literally like he's going to the democratic convention to give a speech will have to only time he's gonna be alone is when he's in the shower you got it which this is not followed through with in the movie but i would have loved to see where the president is taking a shower Max is sneaking into steal the president's cell phone and the president is he gets shampoo in his eyes And he's blindly growing for a towel and Max has to be like whoa Whoa and Dodge his hands and try to get to the phone while the president swings around which would make I guess if Jackie Chan was

That's maybe what would happen. And then he's like, handing him things that he's looking for just in time to get away. What a better movie that would be. They seem so excited about this plan. Yeah, he's super excited about the idea of maybe seeing the president in the shower. I mean, who isn't kind of curious about that? Yeah, yeah, you know. Hundreds of satellites start malfunctioning. Tokyo gets killer hail. Brazil freezes. There's a wave of cold that sweeps in

from the ocean and a woman in a bikini has to outrun it. And it's like a plane flash freezes in the air and shatters against the ground killing after a zoom. Over a hundred people, but it's like, oh thank goodness this bikini woman survived. I also like how like every weather disaster is has to be ironic. Like if it's a hot place it has to turn cold. If it's a cold place it has to turn hot. It can't just be like let's heat it up a little bit more to make it unlivable. And then there's that part where they tell to our butler they're like, oh no, the satellite over

Axel Rose's wedding has begun malfunctioning. It's raining and a guy's about to jump right through that wedding cake. Guys, the November rain video is really great. You might say that the November rain was the original geostorm. You might say that the November rain was the original geostorm. You might say that. Except rain in November in many areas is very regular and appropriate. So are you saying there's no reason for the wedding guests to destroy the wedding cake, which looks very expensive. That's the standard way to get out of the rain.

It's stupid to a cake. No, no. It doesn't want to get water on his suit. What better way to protect it than to cover it with delicious cake? Do you think before doing that he said, and I quote, Feats don't fail me now. Oh, man. You know, it took years for people to realize that that November ran on his wedding day was

ironic. That was the real tragedy. I love about that video is also watching. When I was a kid and I saw that video, I'm like, oh, this looks like a normal wedding. And only now I'm like, those guys look crazy. It's like the Vampire Listot got married. Yeah, they look like such scumbags. And their friends, they'll own up to, I think that's the character. And there's that part in every wedding where

slash goes outside and plays the guitar solo. Yeah, just a standard. That's a traditional wedding. Yeah. I mean, you know, I assume or, you know, anyway, it's better than when they hire bagpipes and it's like, come on guys. Yeah. Nobody's so Scottish they want bagpipes that they're wedding. This is what you use to scare cows away from the ceremony In case you're getting married in a field or barn anyway These satellites are going crazy and they don't have control There's only one way to stop them every time they set a replacement satellite in place

It goes to its pre-programmed position even if there's another satellite. They're already they're gonna have have to hurl satellites at these satellites but it doesn't work. Geostorm alert and literally a timer comes up on their big monitor on the International Space Station it says that there's 90 minutes to Geostorm and starts counting down because Geostorms are nothing if not punctual. And the Democratic convention is going on. The president's giving the speech. I've been to Democratic conventions. I'm sure it was a very boring speech. And the next storm is set for Orlando. Where the convention is being held. And it was this point. That sounds right, though. That's an appropriate location for a convention.

Well, I mean, it is. I've been to a convention in Tampa, but it's like. Beautiful Tampa home of the parking lot. If you ever wanted to go straight from a parking lot to a strip club, have your clothing drenched in the walk from the car to the building, go ahead. Here's where I was like, oh, the real tragedy movie, this movie isn't the storm. The Democrats are still looking at Florida as the be all an end all of winning national elections. Here's the real tragedy. Guys, go to anyway.

So Max sees the next storm is set for Orlando, where the DNC is. Max tells Ed Harris, which we, as the viewer, already know is a bad move, because he's obviously the villain, because he's Ed Harris, the biggest name name aside from drug butler in the cast why would they just make him the secretary of state who happens to step in and helped save the day at the last minute

and i see any garcy in the the back of the audience and he just looked at the ground and he just he just crushed the class and then and stocked out i'm sorry and he was in extreme measures, God damn it. The movie where a detective son needs a bone marrow transplant. So evil Michael Keaton serial killer has to donate it. That's a great movie. Yeah.

He was so good they had to cut him out of dangerous minds so that he wouldn't outshine the rest of the film. Wait, I guess this is just Andy Garcia trivia now? Yeah. You know, he was born with like a, like a not, not fully formed Symey's twin attached to him. It's that true. Or are you just making it up?

I mean, I read it somewhere. It's not. I mean, it might have been in a goose bumps. I don't know. That Andy Garcia themed a goose bumps. Aral signed thought that Andy Garcia was the next big thing in scaring children. And he wanted to get on that money train, you know? I think the technical term for his condition was a Quato situation.

Yeah, he had a Quato situation. Sorry, but I'm sorry, Antigarcy. At Harris S. surpassed you. And I assess meanwhile, the International Space Station, the self-destruct sequence, uh... sorry but i'm sorry and you are see at her sister past you uh... so uh... and i'm i assess meanwhile the international station the self-destruct sequence has been has been said i don't know why does this station

having self-destructed explain that they said someone says why does it have a self-destruct and draco's in case it fell out of its orbit headed towards earth is a good reason not bad not good reason i bet you know they put it in there because someone at some point said, why does this face, hold on, I'll give you the money to make a geo storm. A movie about satellites that go rogue and start causing frozen villages in Afghanistan. But why does the space station have a self-destruct code?

Like, this is the thing we need to explain, because the rest of it makes total sense. And Ed Harris tells Max, the president's code isn't a code, it's his biometrics. We need his fingerprints, which led me to think, like, they're gonna cut the president's fingers off. While he's giving a speech at the DNC, which would be hardcore. I'd vote for him, but they're like, ah, the self-destruct sequence going on.

And the only person who could stop it is our British coder Duncan. And he's not here at the moment. And Gerard Butler goes, Duncan, and run into him. And they have a fist fight over a gun on an exploding space station, which manages to be very boring. How did I- There are a lot of things to object to in GeoStorm, but one of them was, how did Duncan get a gun on the space station? I think the same, we got that wired video game controller up there. I don't know, he's stuffed it in his butt or something.

I mean, Dan, that space station is under American control. Okay, that's just fucking right. That's true. I probably, at some point, they were like, and of course we're not going to allow anyone to bring handguns onto a space station, because they might blow out a window and all the oxygen to get sucked out. And some guy from Senator from Texas was like,

well, let's see here. Once you start limiting the second amendment in space, watch to stop them from being attacked by a bad guy with a laser gun. And they'd be like, well, he's not even an American citizen. He's British. and it's space. We have no lawful control over it. Well, now I don't know.

These are a lot of hot political takes. Anyway, Duncan manages to shoot a window and gets stuck into space. Dr. Butler gets behind the door or something. I kind of couldn't follow that fight scene, and I was not interested. Anyway, Duncan is dead. Meanwhile, Decom says to Max, you waiting this room for the president. Hey, did Chang tell you anything else about the satellites? Max was like, I didn't

mention Chang and Harris tries to shoot him in the head. Max manages to escape onto the DNC floor, which let me tell you. By the way, him trying to shoot him with a gun. That's moving forward for him him because normally he tries to bring people alive with lasers from space like all there's not enough time to to attack you with a space laser I'll just shoot you with a ground laser but he's already planning on blowing up Orlando with a laser why shoot him that's true it's a good point because he might warn somebody because he runs off the DNC floor which I'll tell you is not easy to do without the proper credentials security is very tight

and he runs over to his girlfriend abby corner secret service agents by and he's like uh... deckam is the bad guy we got and uh... he was killed by the secret service agent right over there uh... we got to get the president out of here and she fire's gun in the air and says there's a shooter over here get the president out of here and she fires her gun in the air and says there's a shooter over here get the president out of here. Yeah I mean like he's basically like let's kidnap the president at this point and she's like alright.

Which was as you reminded me what I thought the plot of National Treasure 2 book of secrets was going to be before it came out. Which also features that Harris right. Does it? I think so. Yeah it does. Hell for a second. Hell for a second. I believe he's also the bad guy in that. For a second I thought you said dead Harris. His tail's from the crypt name and I was like...

Yeah yeah back when he was an animator for the Simpsons on a Halloween episode. What an amazing career trajectory from Simpsons animator to the co-star of Apollo 13. I was imagining the criss-co-star intro. 13. I was imagining the great- Goose co-star, and you're all ripped keeper and like introducing dead hair as he's like, he plays Jackson Pollock, who murders traditional form and aesthetics in painting. Go to the morgue for some

slab-stract expressionism. Why is Creepkeeper not hosting a talk show, Dan? Why is the greatest show in the history of the world not in the gif? The Alph talk show didn't really take off. You're right. That was... And everyone... He's like...

He goes to pitch meetings in the Hollywood. And he's like, I've got a great idea for a... Talk ghost, and they're like, hold on a second. Doesn't really lie, Pripyat. You're not gonna say you're gonna ghost a talk show. I'm workshopping it. Now... I'll do better than that. Well, we're kind of burnt on. You're not going to say you're going to ghost a talk show. I'm workshopping it.

I'll do better than that. Well, we're kind of burnt on puppet talk shows. What? Because of Alph, it's a totally different show. I'm not like Alph. I do corpse puns. He eats cats. Why would America want to hear what a man who eats cats thinks about the topical stories

of the day? And they're like, he's not a man who eats cats thinks about the topical stories of the day. And they're like, he's not a man who eats cats. He's an alien. And cryptkeepers are like, I'm a zombie. I don't know. The only thing we have in common is we're both puppets. I mean, did I ruin the illusion for you, Elliot? No, no, just that.

I ruined the illusion for you. He kind of made the subtext text. Okay. You were like, I see what this joke is about. I'm going to say it. You know, like a child realizing something. Like when I was a kid and I saw Gremlins too. And Billy Peltzer, I knew he had trapped the lightning Gremlin in the phone system and he said, the phone's down here. Can they be transferred? Can I transfer call from the office to lobby?

Yeah, they can't get the fire hose. I turned to my mom and said, I know what he's gonna do. He's gonna wet down those gremlins and zap them with the lightning gremlin. I was being an asshole and I said that. Because everyone in the theater knew what was going on. And the same thing happened when I went to- Elliot does that when he watches Westworld with his wife too.

He's like, the gremlins are gonna die. I watch Westworld my wife and I'm like, don't know. Don't know, don't care. Don't know what's going on here. Westworld is kind of like Western robot themed virtual wallpaper for me. I'm gonna do something else while this show runs and I kind of don't care if I keep up with the plot. But I love seeing cowboys and robots walking around.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Sorry. I mean, this lag Westworld, that boy. No, I was talking to you. America's favorite show, Westworld. No, it's a little diversion. It was a little, you know, we took a little vacation there from the story. That's true. Anyway, to bring it back around to our movie, so they kidnapped the president.

They're evacuating the International Space Station. There's a tornado sandstorm in India. A boy is separated from his dog. We're supposed to care about this, even though Orlando is attacked with exploding lightning. And the convention center where the DNC is being held, just as our heroes escape with the President, is exploded by lightning. Again, killing everyone in the building, which includes, I have to assume numerous members of the government of political establishment. But meanwhile we're like, oh, I hope that kid finds his dog. Let's, and let's not speed over this. The convention center is hit by lightning, and it explodes, as everything does when it's hit by lightning.

Because the convention center has a self-destructing case, it falls to Earth. Okay. Orbit. the struct in case it falls to her. Okay, from orbit. From orbit. But yeah, he's, and he's, it's also like, I gotta say, I'm not the president. I guess I'll take out all of Orlando. And Harris, he can't wait to you leave Orlando to do that. No time, I'll just do it right now.

And I'll dodge the lightning bolts like Mario or something. Yeah. Yeah. Fighting some kind of a Koopa boss, not Bowser. So there's a great car chase with the guy who pushed uh... chang in front of the bus before the car before that's some kind of automotive course that's where abby corner shows that move where she turns the car around and goes and reverse and blast the gun and the car food always dead

she spends the car and shoots the driver the car and the president says to max marry her and it's like, wah, wah, wah, and Chang's killer, she rams him off and overpass and he explodes. Take that, dude. You don't get to go to court. And the space station has been evacuated. The vacuumed, but Jake has to stay behind to manually reboot the system once the president

puts his code in or some computer-y technoshit. I was losing interest in those details. He's got to do like an armageddon thing, right? He's got to be like the cool guy. He's got to sacrifice himself Deca meanwhile is like, you know what? Let's just use a rocket launcher to kill the president right now Then the rocket launcher that he just happens to have in the trunk of his car He's like I'll get I might need to kill the president today I'll pack the rocket launcher and you don't know what a secretary of state has in the trunk of their

That's a good point. I mean, I'm assuming dead hookers that Guys, this is an important point He's the secretary of state. Why is he doing all this? If he wants to be president, you could just wait a little bit, right? Yeah, not really Yeah, there's a great thing. I mean secretary of state was the stepping stone to the presidency in the early 19th century but it hasn't been since then but i'm saying like this is a people that elected president and garcia i mean she and heres is a way bigger star oh no and garcia's leaving now what what i'm sorry what i like about it is the

movie is like We're running out of ethnicities that we can throw to that be the first president of something He's first Latino president. Okay. We have like president already and they're like sorry Dennis Hayesburg We got a we can't have you in the movie we're gonna have Andy Garcia in it to show that America is still moving forward anyway, so Decom they get the drop on I'm all the police show up, and the president is like, arrest this man, which is the kind of thing the president say a lot in the movies, but almost never in real life. It's rare that presidents ever bust up a crime ring

in real life, or push terrorists off their plane. But, and he's like, why would you do this? I was gonna use it to wipe out all of America's enemies, and it's like, wait, like Brazil? What's at a- Tokyo? I don't think that Tokyo is one of our enemies but he's like I was gonna turn the time back to 1945 when we were on top of the world and it's like that's a very problematic statement in a lot of different ways yeah but I like that and Harris's twofold plan is'm going to get rid of all of our enemies,

which is weird because like we just said Orlando just got blown up by the storm. So his aim isn't very good. But number two, he's trying to kill everyone else in the line of succession, which the weather isn't the most accurate way to kill the people above you in the presidential line. Two things I'm going to tell you. One, Orlando is our enemy. Okay. Don't think just because it's home to some of our best-name parks that isn't waiting to sneak up behind us and garaddle us with piano wire. Two, that makes, that's a very good point that you just made.

And then I know you're probably wondering, Ed Harris, you have control over all these weather satellites. Why kill half the people when you can just make double the resources, right? Elyah, what's the reason? Well, I mean, the reason in the original comics is that Ed Harris worships death. Okay.

That's for his death. And so it makes more sense. But I should- Go back to the source material. I guess for the movie about a guy who wants to kill half the universe with his magic jewel glove, they decided it was beyond the pale that he had wants to have sex with a skeleton in a robe. So, you know what?

I don't know. Maybe it's just better to watch a woman make out with a robot. Sure. As also happens in that film, Geostorm Infinity War. So Decombe gets taken away, but not before Max punches him in the face.

He's been restrained by the officers, sir. That is unlawful force, but his girlfriend is so visibly turned on by it. And it's like, I am not liking these heroes. They are so sexually aroused by the acts of violence. And it's like, we got a couple of perspective thrill killers on our hands. Anyway, a tidal wave hits the United Arab Emirates because while they're busy punching at Harris, that geostorm still on the run. The president puts in his codes, but even though the geostorm can be stopped, the self-destruct can't be. So Jake is giving his

life by rebooting the system. He has a heart to heart talk with his brother. Great. I don't really care. And Jake has to race against the countdown to do his computer thing. But it turns out his code is invalid. Luckily, German lady Uch shows up. She never left, and she had the right codes. Why is she waited till the very last minute for dramatic reveal? Your guess is as good as mine. Like, what if she was a couple seconds later? Anyway. Oh, I miss my cue. I miss my cue. Did I stop the geostorm? No, explode. She wanted, she wanted Gerard Butler to be exuding the maximum amount of fear energy, so she could drink it all in when she gives in the Oh, I see, because that's what gets her going. OK, it works. NASA gets control.

The station blows up, and they hurtle through space, dodging, exploding debris. But it looks like they didn't make it out. Everyone said, especially one kind of stout scientist we've never seen before, who's shown like gripping his head in agony and misery. Is that a stout scientist? Or was that one of the ground control guys who when

Jard Butler was going to the space station for the first time made a fucking major Tom reference? I think it was that guy. I can't out of here. Come on. Now I know why he was grieving because he was like, oh, Bowie and now this too soon, too soon. But it was like this guy who we don't really know him as a character and he might as well be like, rendingending his garments eating ashes. So it's like that's how it now, but they did escape. They escaped into a satellite that had room for people to get into it for some reason

I guess it's the kind of satellite that turns into a submarine. Yeah of all the things that bother me in this movie like this was the thing for some reason that bothered me the most. Number one that the satellite had room for people to go into. Who knows why. But number two, that afterwards, they're like, can we turn one of those shuttles around? And they turn a space shuttle around. And there's an arm that's built to pick up the thing.

And for some reason, there's a docking port for a satellite. I'm like, why would they build any of these things? That's not how any of this works. I just like, I didn't realize at the time, but I like that you pointed out to me now that they handled, that space shuttle handles like the car, Abby Cornish, just driving earlier. It breaks so well, it's like, oh, beautiful.

That might as well be hot black desiados ship from the restaurant at the end of the universe. Looks like a fish, steers like a fish, drives like a cow. Anyway, I don't know, looks like a fish, drives like a sea, I was like, I don't remember. I haven't read that book in a while. Okay, now this is the part in a James Bond movie where they would dock with the shuttle and find that Gerard Butler and Oot are having sex

because James Bond is the ultimate thrill killer after DZI at guy. But and also we do get to see on screen that that boy and his dog are reunited. Oh thank goodness. So many millions have been killed. Everyone, like we've seen a tidal wave just knocking down skyscrapers in the Emirates. And it's like, this is terrifying. What a superman fighting, general's orders on them. And the tidal wave stops.

And there's this guy who's been watching it from another building, and he's like, oh, and smiles to himself. And it's like, dude, it is not time to smile. Like, I also love the moment that they reboot all the satellites the weather just stops immediately I'm just like that is not how weather works they turn it off yeah all right it's like the weather in back to the future to yeah they just flip it on and off with a switch and are you talking about did we bring up the fact that you can turn off the

geostorm but you can't turn off the self-destruct. That's insane. I mean, he did skill. Well Spider-Man can turn off the dark. So if we can do that, we can do anything. I mean, not according to Broadway receipts, he can do that. They get back to Earth, everyone's reunited. Six months later, which means it's three years and six months from the first dialogue scene we saw. Jake Max, they love each other, their brothers, and they take Jake's daughter, fishing. They don't catch any fish. They don't like fishing, but their brother's now. And Hannah, the daughter has a Vio about, hey, as long as we remember we're one planet working together, we're gonna be all right. And it's like, you are not okay.

So many people died. You are not all right. It's like this little moment of like American upper class white privilege where it's like, I'm fishing. Everything's good with the world. And I mean, well, there's like huge refugee problems as half of the Emirates and like Brazil are swarming into other countries because their capitals were knocked out.

What's going on? And I said, hey, hey, hey, what's going on? I don't know. I mean, I just know that when I wake in the morning and I step outside, I take a deep breath and I get real high. Wait, is that part of the Geostorm, the air makes you high now? Yeah, that's right. I was really happy to find out that that songwriter currently does songwriting for Pink. Who to thought at For non-Blowns to pink? Look, they have a lot of arrows in their quiver.

Yeah, I guess that's the end of Geostorm. So the thing to remember if you can remember one thing from Geostorm is that a successful songwriter can jump from trend to trend, from recording artists to recording artists. Also, even a good song is a song, you know. Even if you are the most famous scientist in the world, do not expect your co-workers to know you by sight. If you have a daughter, even if you are saving the world from bad weather and satellites gone mad, you are a bad dad if you are not taking her fishing right now.

And also, the best way to get a message across to your brother Is one make sure he has video editing software on his work computer Yeah And to do some skip on words codes. Yeah, Dan. What did you learn from geostorm? Um, I learned that I Don't I what the I feel like you actually I feel like by watching this movie you Unleashed me dumb or yeah, you are you? I feel like, I feel like, by watching this movie you unleashed. I mean, this movie makes me dumber.

Yeah, you end up stupid. So that's every second that I watch it. It is such a dumber, it's like, I watched, I re-watched Cobra last year, and I was like, I forgot how dumb this movie is. And then watching Geostorm, I was like, Cobra's a nuanced tank on the problems of Prime in America, the serious problem of X cultColtz running around shopping markets.

I think we're at that part of the podcast. Yeah, we do the part of the podcast for those who don't know where we rate the movie, whether it was a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie we kind of liked, Elliot, what do you have to say? I got to say guys, I thought it was a good bad movie. It was super stupid. And not, I'm gonna say this. It was not sublimely dumb, like triple X Return of Xander Cage,

which is maybe the most beautifully stupid movie since Tangling Cash, but it was pretty enjoyably stupid. Every single scene, there's one moment we were like, what? Yeah. The what to see in ratio is very high. Yeah, for me, this was a great bad movie. I really like, you know, disaster movies

are my particular flavor of dumb. Like, I pretty much enjoy all of them. And this almost reaches the level of the core, where the Earth's magnetic core stops spinning and they have to have a caterpillar machine drill down into the core and restart it. How much better would that movie have been if it was the very hungry caterpillar that had to go down? I think a thousand percent. Eric Carls the core. Stewart, would you like to fight the curve on this one? Oh, wow. Look at that. Oh, he's standing up.

Standing up. For the listeners at home, Stuart is standing up at full length. This is the low bar of doing a podcast. There's people can get excited by someone moving. Guys, there's a scene in this movie where the Secretary of State has a missile launcher in the trunk of his car. And then he has a goon fire that missile into a smart car, presumably driven by the president, which explodes the car. And he approaches that car with a gun drawn as if that gun was going to finish a job, a missile started.

Guys, this is very much a good bad movie. Thank you. Yeah, a good bad movie. Thank you. Yeah, triple good bads. Alright. Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor. Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor. Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor. I'm Judge John Hodgman ruled in my friend's favor. Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor. I'm Judge John Hodgman.

You're hearing the voices of real litigants, real people who have submitted disputes to my internet court at the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I hear their cases, I ask them questions, they're good ones. And then I tell them who's right and who's wrong. Thanks to Judge John Hodgman's ruling, my dad has been forced to retire one of the worst dad jokes of all time.

Instead of cutting his own hair with a flow bee, my husband has his hair cut professionally. I have to join a community theater group. And my wife has stopped bringing home wild animals. It's the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Find it every Wednesday at MaximumFund.org or wherever you download podcasts. Thanks, Judge John Hodgman. Hello, I'm Oliver Wong, DJ, Scholar, and Journalist. And I'm Morgan Rhodes, Music Supervisor, and Stiletto Devote. And we host Heat Rocks, a podcast where we invite our favorite musicians,

writers and scholars to talk about the albums that have changed their lives. Morgan, what exactly is a Heat Rock? It's a record that's like a hot fire, combustible. Basically, just a really, really good album. We've taken a deep dive into Nigerian funk from the 70s. He kind of had like a bad reputation in town. It's just being like a sketchy dude. And he was just making music that for thousands of miles

around him, he was the only person doing anything like that. 1980s teen comedy soundtracks. This soundtrack always felt the same to me as when I would find a great blazer at a thrift store. That I could, I was like, oh, this is gonna be me now. We've talked about Prince, boys, cement, Kendrick Lamar, and everything in between. Heat rocks every Thursday here on Maximum Fun.

Hey everyone, before we get into the sponsors and jumbo trunks, I just wanna talk to you for a second. I know there's several of you out there who are not big fans of listening to live podcast shows. That's why we try not to put a couple of them back to back. But in this case, we did it because, well, Elliott has his new baby and we're all very excited about that. And I am moving apartments and no one's excited about that least of all me.

So there's some big life up heels going on and don't you now feel like a dick for complaining? Anyway, I got a read a couple ads. I listened to last week's ad read and I had done, I had very intentionally tried to kick up my energy for that ad read, just kick it up a notch. And I listened back to it and it sounded like I was on Xanax. And so what is wrong with me, I guess the question that I'm asking,

is it something with my thyroid? Is that what makes it impossible for me to do any ad reads with any energy at all? I guess this is not a great question to be asking right before I do an ad read because I don't want people to think that I'm not enthusiastic about the fine products and the services we offer here at the flop house but I don't know just it's bothering me it's bothering me guys right in right in and tell me what's wrong with me don't write in and tell me what's wrong with me god damn that would be the worst thing in the world I rescind my offer Jesus can you imagine you imagine

getting a fucking cavalcade of letters about what's wrong with you? Ugh. Alright, they're worse. Anyway, the flop house, thankfully, is brought to you in part by Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter! Are you hiring post-ing your positions to job sites and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for the right people to see it Zippercouter has revolutionized hiring their technology finds great candidates for you So you can sit at home in your sweatpants

Smoking cigars like a big cartoon version of a lazy person and candidates will come to you. It identifies people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job. Right now, our listeners can try Zippercouter for free at zippercouter.com slash flop house. That's zippercouter.com slash flop house. Zippercruder, the smartest way to hire. And moving on, we have a jumbo tron. This message is for Christie. And it comes from Rich slash clunky. That's clunky with a K. Christie.

The fun you have listening to the original Peach's flip a flop or go off on an unrelated tangent is awesome. Listening to you laugh out loud is pure joy, so I hope you enjoy hearing this from the floppers. Happy birthday, Christy. You're the love of my life and the one with whom I want to finish the trip to our own bateful findings. Love, clunky. Oh, isn't that sweet? I got nothing to say about that. It's just nice. So thanks everyone for listening. It's time to head on back to the theater with the rest of the live show. So we've got a little time. Not a lot of time, but so what we like to do with these live shows is answer a few questions from the audience that people are interested. We're gonna take 10 or 15 minutes for this. There's a microphone at the front. People are already lining up. We may not get to everybody. We may not get to everybody.

We cannot guarantee, but. Guys, we went long talking about Geostorm. We want to pack in as many questions as we can. And we cannot afford to just eat up time. We could be used by questions. Hey, Dan, what can we not afford to do? Eat up time, Ellie. Eat up time. Hey, Stu, what can we not afford to do? Eat up time, Ellie. Eat up time.

Hey, you stupid. What can we not want to do? Beat up time. Hey guys, time is really great. Don't you eat up time. But don't be late. Do the flop house question and answer session. Flop house questions with flop house answers.

Flop house answers for flop house questions flop house time for you and me in DC Washington that is don't know why Don't know why I had to specify The only town in this district Columbia that is Spirit of life spirit of What I don't know wow this is the first time I've known you to be at a loss for words, Ali.

So let's take advantage of that. Because you know what happens? I started thinking about this great nation of ours. No, no. And I just got a saying about America. All right, thank you. Forera. Thank you. For America. Thank you.

Anyway. From TV. Please. Please. It's our long national nightmare is over. You can answer. You can ask your question now. I guess it is.

Wasn't that long. Hi. I'm Alexis, last name of hell. One thing I want to say of great good bad moment of that movie was that in that scene where they don't know who he is He is wearing a J. Losson name tag on his jump. I didn't even see that because I was watching on my laptop while I did the dishes. The question I want to ask is if you have the opportunity to say teach a film class or teach a one hour seminar on public television, whatever context you want, what would be the topic of your class and what films

would you show to those people? Assuming that your audience was wrapped or paid so much tuition that they had to pay attention to you? Hmm. Hmm, complicated question for you. Smart, minded fellows. I mean, I think I would do a class called New York Grimey. And it would just be like about 70s movies about New York that are really gross and grimy and dirty and everyone's clothes are ugly. Yeah, I might be stepping on Stewart's territory,

but I feel like I would like to do a, what did you want to say, Ellie? Like a castle freak seminar? Well, I know I would like to do a seminar called Horror Committees of the 80s. Your American wear was in London, your returns of the living dead. The monster squad be on the curriculum?

Monster squad is that horror or not? I think that's close enough. Yeah. It's got Dracula's in it, dude. Good point. Good point. Good point. A Dracula throws dynamite into a clubhouse.

What more do you want out of a movie? Maybe if he was riding a dinosaur while he did it. So what? I would do a focused curriculum. It would be focused around three movies. Police Academy 1, 2, and 3. And just talk about how funny they are. Your class would be called, what can you do with that magical mouth, the sounds of Michael

Winslow? Cross-dies and blow jobs. So that's the class you would teach. Would be what Ghostbusters, police academy, what else? I don't know. That's a very small genre. Yeah. OK, cool.

You did my class for me. Thanks, guys. That's a, Dan, is that, that's a talking head song, isn't it? Cross-site and blow jobs. Yeah, that's right. That's right. It ends stop making, I don't know. Don't it know.

Let's not try it. OK, next question, please. Hi. I'm Lindsay. Last name with Harold. I have a quick update and a question real fast. But last time you guys were here, the coolest person I know related question to you from me about a Panasonic 3DO.

I just want you to know, once I have one that's not nice enough to solve another person, that and tell a cyberpunk adventure featuring Dustin Hoffman will be coming to you. Please play it with the guide up. Some of the answers to the puzzles are not in the game. Um, awesome. Finally.

My actual question is, so me and my lovely partner, we are big fans of horror movies that spawn multiple really crazy sequels, you know, your final destinations, your sauces, that sort of thing. Wish me answers, et cetera. Yeah, our favorite though is the purge movies, because those ones actually, each one subsequently,

they're not good movies yet, but they'd get better and address the problems of the previous movie. Like, the second one, the premise actually depends on the purge being a thing for it to happen. We're hoping by the sixth good movie. By the second movie, they were like, we should, the main concept of the movie should play a part in the movie. They're actually not the sixth good movie. By the second movie they were like we should the main concept of the movie should play a part in the movie. The third one they understand that not everybody wants to do this. The fourth one they're finally going to tell me how they

convinced everyone it was a good idea. But I was on some street level marketing for the purge franchise. I like it. Go see it because because yeah, that's a lot of explaining to do why everybody wants to do this and participate. So do you have any movie franchises that you actually think get better with the ridiculous subsequent sequels? I mean, I'm sure you're going to go with a little movie called Grimlins 2. Oh, well, that's true. I mean, Grimlins 2 is better than the first Grimmlands because it explodes the form.

Oh, am I teaching that class already? Come on! But it's like the first Grimmlands, great, it's wonderful. Saying Grimmlands, it's like, hmm, let's just go crazy everybody. Come on, we're making a movie about Grimmlands. Let's just go nuts. So why are we pretending this is a real thing? But I would say, the movies don't get better.

In fact, they get worse over time. But the original Planet of the Apes series, if you watch them all in a row, they cycle back around to each other. And so it's like the first movie leads into the second one. The second movie ends spoiler with the Earth exploding. And so the third movie starts with three of the apes going back in time and essentially having the baby that creates the Planet of the Earth exploding. And so the third movie starts with three of the apes going back in time and essentially having the baby

that creates the plan of the apes. And it's like, I love the idea that they were like, we ended the second movie exploding the world. We're gonna do a sequel. How do we get around this? Why? We'd have to go back in time. And the other guy in the office was like,

wait, say that again. I said, we already exploded the world. No, no, no, after that, say the other thing. We'd have to go back in time. And then he just sat down on the typewriter and just put the whole screenplay down. And that guy was ZZ Top. That's how we came up with the song back in time.

It must have been so hard for ZZ Top to write a letter back then, because his beard would get caught. I was saying it like it's one person. Zachary, you know know something top, but that's his beard was get caught in the typewriter Dirk, do you think of anything or you don't have to yeah, what I would usually say to this question Which would probably make people the most mad is maybe the aliens franchise? You son of a bitch. No.

Alien 4 is really great. It's not a bad movie, but... Alright. Let's do a strolling now. Let's move on to the next... Hi, my name is Andrew. Last name is what held? I actually really do enjoy the Alien 4 movie.

I mean, I saw it as a kid. It was great. Actually, two great questions. Mine feels really narrow and almost petty now with this flawless movie we just watched. But it was kind of strange. Why title waves, which some urge to emeraldize in the movies, are seismic events?

So whose idea do you think it was and how did they propose it? That's the weather could control it. Yeah, who convinced two to be like, OK, guys, we might need earthquakes. Like, so. I'm going to stop you right there. I don't think they know that. I think the same way that people are like,

well, I'm at change. Well, all this bad weather like volcanoes, and it's similar to that, that's not like, weather thing. So I don't think that that ever occurred to anyone making the film. They're like, yeah, tidal waves, it must be really windy, right?

Yeah, that's, I mean, it is also a movie where... Surf's up, right? It is a movie where people outrun cold, and it's not even the first movie by this director, I think, where someone outruns. No, after tomorrow, people outrun cold, and it's not even the first movie by this director I think where someone outruns. No, after tomorrow they outrun cold down the walls of the library. It's very good.

He was like, maybe that scene where Jake Jones all outruns the cold in that library, I'm gonna one up myself and do it in the streets of Rio. Like, I don't know, I don't know. I mean, he pulled it off again, Devlin. Which is like one of the mummy movies the outruns the sun. Yeah.

So, do I buy that in the mummy movies cause it's a movie about magic. All right. The magic between a father and a son. I thought it was the magic of that one character's arc who begins the movie, begins the series not knowing what a mummy is and being frightened of them. The second movie, he's, he very much knows what mummies are and runs away from them. And then the final one, he hates them. He's like,

mummy's again. Gross. All right, moving on, moving on. Hey, floppers. Hello. So, my name is Ehab. Last name with Hell. It's very apt to mention this in the synagogue. I am a Muslim Arab Palestinian and it's- Guys, watch what you say. We are about to step in a minefield. I was about- Is there better be a question about Gremlins too? It's actually a lot more benign than that.

Usually I am vilified in Hollywood on all three of those categories. Very much so. Yes indeed. And it was very, very refreshing in this movie to see that the brown dark men were not behind this evil, but rather the lesser known government agent, white man who exists there.

And that's something that I kind of noticed in the grand scheme of things. My question for you is, because of all that vilification of not just people and my categories but other people, I'm sure there are Hollywood movies out there that contain those stereotypes and that vilification, but you really, really enjoy them shamelessly. And I'm just curious whether those movies, and I, well, I'll say right now, like, what a horrible movie. I do recognize that I am asking three straight white men this question. So you are under the mic, you don't know me, yes he knows. He knows me. I, like, I spent a lot of today at the National Museum of the American Indian.

And it was like, I deal all the time with like, I love Western. Like I love them. And they are so unremittingly racist in so many ways. I mean, there's somewhat like, the man who shot Liberty Valence is slightly less racist. Because I don't know that there are any native characters in the movie. But it's like, every time I watch one, I'm like, all right, I'm going to have to like project this into a fantasy world where these are like, I don't know. This is okay what they're doing, you know.

But it's not. Hell on the episode that I dropped today, I recommended Bone Tomahawk, which has a trochletite race of American Indians. No, they make it very clear that they're troglonites. Yeah, it makes it clear-ish. It's like, the movie's like, it's okay that they're monsters, because they live in a cave. Yeah, I've said before, I mean, this is not a movie,

but I've said before that I watched all of 24, which is horrible, but I just... The Geostorm of TV shows. I justified it by like, it went so far into fascism that I kind of could watch it as liberal camp. Like, oh, this is just like goofy at this point. It's just ridiculous.

I can sort of just watch it from a remove and enjoy it. And I'm a big fan of, I don't know if this answers the question, but I'm a big fan of that trend of having like European bad guys. Like there was a time where a lot of action movies had like wrench villains. Yeah. Checky Cario is a bad guy in a lot of movies or like all the bad guys in die hard on love that shit dude. When they have like long flowing Fabio hair like,

and they all have like MP5s. Yeah, man, like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yeah, and you just know. And you just know. I'm just being cool, you know. The worst part, you know that audiences in the 80s were watching those movies and they were like,

oh, I just know those terrorists are putting fucking mayonnaise on their french fries. Kill them all, John McClain. I will say it's like, it's kind of a funny thing. It's like, this is a progressive movie. The non-white characters are merely like nameless cannon fodder. They're not the bad guys. They just die in the hundreds of thousands.

In conclusion, all those things are horrible. Anyway, moving on. Hey guys, Aryan last name with held So you guys either all work or moonlight in the comedy business and I like I was like some of us both I always like hearing sort of especially someone younger. I like I love hearing the original stories on the podcast So I was wonder I wondered what are some kind of like linchpin moments when you guys maybe realize, like this is something that I'm gonna be able to do, even if it doesn't pan out, or like anything like that

along the way. Linchpin moments. Why never had a moment like that, guys? No. I don't really work in comedy. I just do this dumb podcast with my friends. Although there was a moment when, we were doing live shows for a long time

and I would always have to take work off and it was really cool. And whenever I'd have to take off a night from bartending, I'd have to do a show. I would always end up losing money basically. So it was nice the one time I made, like the first time I made more money doing a show than I did bartending that night.

That was pretty cool. I was going to say similarly, I found a, I was going through my files because I moved recently. Oh boy, another moving story. And I found a photocopy of a check I wrote for an article, a check I wrote, a check I got for an article I wrote for a website when I was like 14, I think, or 15. And it must be the first time I was ever paid for writing something. And I was like, I gotta keep this.

I shouldn't throw this out, but I don't, I don't, I don't think anything with it or anything. But I think that was one of those moments, similar to Stuart, it's like, oh, someone gave me money for this. And I live in the United States for money is the value of all things.

I, yeah, I mean, like I can only think of the first time I was paid for a comedy thing out in the world. There was a website called Modern Humorous for a while. It was run by the same people who later on made, they wrote that movie about Doug Kenny that was on Netflix. And Jolanda too, right? Is that them? Yeah. All right.

So great, great comic minds. No, it was a great website. And I did a piece called First Drafts of Famous Poems, which is a very common sort of humor, peace, idea, like the first draft or something. Joan Oversellet, damn. No, I just remember that like I got paid like 60 bucks for it or whatever and it was like a long piece and then I was very excited to see it on the website

and they cut it down to one poem that was five lines and that was my first lesson in comedy writing. It was like, that's the way it's gonna be. I like that even Dan's triumphant story of making it involves a shattering blow to his ego. We should move on. I think we can make through everyone if we go really fast. Nobody join the line.

Let's go. Nobody. Let's be right back. But it's not like we're looking at close. I don't know. It's so much sneak-sign. Anyway. Ann Marie, last name withheld.

This is the question from Meme Squad and it is, what is the closest you've ever been to getting arrested? Oh, I mean I've gotten into arguments with police officers a lot and then they let me go. I don't know what it is about me. I guess I don't look like any of the criminals they're looking for. I'll tell this story as quickly as I can. I was back from college, hanging out with my high school friends. One of them had a girlfriend who was still in high school. She came and hung out with us in the car driving around, which is what you do in Illinois.

There's nothing else to do. You just drive around. And we went and we smoked weed in the middle of a field somewhere. And... Is this an indie film? And as we were driving back into town, we saw five police cars going past us with sirens on. And we're like, huh, something must be going on. And we went to Hardee's where my friend worked

and we go through the line and we find out that her mom had reported this woman missing, like she never came home from school that day and they were looking for us. And it was only because they had the wrong description of the car, but they didn't stop us with a bunch of weed in the car. And for kidnapping.

And for kidnapping. And so that was, I guess, the close I've got to being arrested. That's pretty scary. Yeah. I just got a speeding ticket. It's NBD dude. I wish I had something cool like I don't know murder If you admitted to a murder right now this would become a true crime podcast and our numbers would go through the room

We'd be amazing Wait a minute who would I murder though? What celebrity did you hurl into a star? Let me think about that. Let me think about that. OK. Hello, Kyle. Last name of hell? Kyle Katarn from the Star Wars game. Me up.

Yep, dark forces. So if you could replace our current president with any fictional president from a movie, who would you choose? That's a good question. Any fictional president. I good question any fictional president I mean any fictional president yeah your Terry Cruz type from any office okay maybe not any fictional president well until about a week ago I would have said Morgan Freeman from deep impact but I didn't it's him. We are. We are the audience. Came way down. Yeah, sorry.

Too real. It's late, everybody. I had a soda before we came on. So, what about like, like, President Dave, but when he's good Dave? Oh, good Dave. Not when he's the guy they actually liked it when he's secret Dave, who comes in. Yeah. I was like briefly considering Henry Fonda, and then then I was like he nuked one of our own

It's it easy. He had to damn Tit for tat he had to make it up to the Russians. Yeah And my answer is of course king Ralph Okay, let's move on is not a not a president I mean these president England right is president of our hearts It was very disappointing watching the coverage of the Royal Wedding and not seeing John Goodman as an honorary guest. Yes, sir. Hi there, my name is Michael McLaughth, name of the held.

I was wondering if you guys knew any deleted scenes or outtakes that you thought would drastically improve a movie if they were left in, or inversely something what scene you could remove from a movie to drastically improve it. I mean, I've always liked, I mean, there are certain scenes in the longer cut of aliens that shouldn't be in there, like the colonization early scene, but I really love the scene where they set up the automated guns and they shoot the aliens and the aliens keep coming in waves and waves and waves until like almost all the ammunition is gone, but the aliens have decided to stop at that point they've learned their lesson. And that's, they've learned their lesson. One of the aliens is like, guys, guys, guys. We are not getting anywhere with this.

A favorite deleted scene of mine is from the Dungeons & Dragons movie where one of the characters tells a, shares an anecdote about her father who's like a 20-it-level wizard or some bullshit. And it's really great. There's also, I wish they'd kept this in the movie even though it's not really a deleted scene, but there's a shot in the footage of the making of footage where Jeremy Irons is doing some big scene, and then as soon as the director says, cut, he's like, fuck this. I think it's very understandable from his point of view.

I don't know that I can think of any. I don't know that I've ever seen a movie where they've added back in a deleted scene and it's made the movie better. Maybe there's something. But I remember growing up and hearing like, oh, the apocalypse now, French plantation scene. Oh, this French plantation scene in the apocalypse now.

It's so amazing. They had to cut it because the movie was too long, but it's so amazing. And the apocalypse now, Redux came out. And that scene was in it. I was like, it is a terrible scene. Like, it's just them sitting at a table and the French explaining some stuff about the history of Vietnam's colonization by the French.

And I'm like, I kind of got that from watching the movie already. Like, this is, like, I don't, this is not live, or like any of the scenes in that. There's that scene in the fly where he makes some kind of hybrid mutant monster and then has to fight it that got cut out. I have no idea what you're talking about. He makes like a cat baboon with a transporter and then it attacks it. That sounds amazing.

But when you watch it, for years I was like, this sounds amazing. And then I found, I was like, I'm an idiot. So it takes me years to be like, let me check YouTube if it's on there. Everything's on YouTube. And so I checked it and I was like, this'm an idiot, so it takes me years to be like, let me check YouTube if it's on there. Everything's on YouTube. And so I checked it and I was like, this scene is not very good.

I see why they cut this. All right. Thank you. Hi, I'm Vigil, last name withheld. So you guys used to have some really bad ads. I was just wondering, are there any movies that had bad advertisements that you really loved at, and actually turned out loving.

Mm. I mean, like, what was that Tom Cruise movie? Edgy Tomorrow? Edgy Tomorrow, sure. Where it was like, the ads, I was just like, I don't know what this is. This doesn't make any sense to me. I don't even know what this is.

And then I saw the movie and I was like, that was a fun action movie. Yeah, I mean, I thought the ad campaigns for John Carter totally killed the movie. And I think it's a very serviceable blockbuster and didn't deserve to be maligned as Padley as it did. And I can't think of anything clever. The other one I would say is there are a lot of ad campaigns that set up an expectation

that's not met by the movie. Like super eight, I was like, can't wait to find out the mystery of what this monster is. And that is just an alien. So I was like, why were they pretending that this was the thing that, like, can't wait to find out the mystery of what this monster is. And then it's just an alien. So I was like, why were they pretending that this was the thing that, like, I don't understand. They're acting like this. And there was a, there was a promotional comic book that was stapled into a bunch of comics when that movie came out, that it was about a cosmonaut dog being sent into space and it never came back.

And I was like, oh, I bet that dog mutated into a monster. And it comes back. And that's why all the dogs go disappearing. Because maybe they're being merged into this dog monster. And then I saw the movie and I was like, it's just an alien. I wish it was this dog monster. That would have been so much more fun if it was this space dog monster.

We're almost to the end. All right, come on. Dan, who are you speaking for when you say that? Me. I want the sweet release of death is within my grasp. My name is Ian last name withheld and if the flop house were to be trapped in one disaster movie, which would you want it to be? What's the one we're fried chicken falling out of this guy?

I guess Cloudy the out of this guy. I guess, clatter the chance of meatballs. Yeah, that's it. I guess that counts, right? It certainly would be a disaster. That was the scariest book I ever read when I was a kid. I mean, it's a movie, right? Well, now it's a movie, but it wasn't a movie when I was a kid. It wasn't bull.

Sorry, I checked that. That book is the closest you can get to HP Lovecraft as a kid, where it's like there's a force in the universe that feeds humanity. And one day, it just decides not to anymore. And it decides to crush humanity and they never find out why. They just have to run. That's frightening. What do I use to do it?

Does that's your movie? What would you want to live in? I mean, maybe Dante speak. I know which one's got... Yeah, that's a good one, right? Got Pierce Bros. I don't like that one. It's also localized.

Like if you're not near Dante's peak, you're pretty much cool. Yeah. Yeah, that's in the deleted scenes of people just hanging out somewhere. Just people having barbecues in the Midwest scenes of people just hanging out somewhere. Just people having barbecues in the Midwest, and they're like, you know, we're just a volcano in LA, you're something right now.

Yeah, I'm going to pick that one too. Like, yeah, like volcano, but I'm in Ohio. So, just like, oh, yeah, man, I'm going to watch it and then Randy Newman sings, I love LA, and everything's great. Yeah, that's it. Is Rain of Fire a disaster movie? Did dragons count as a disaster? That counts as a disaster, yeah. Okay, then maybe dragons because I'd want...

I'd keep one as a pet and it would be my best friend. And I'd learn how to train it. I don't think you paid attention to that movie very closely. I just saw the poster. Yes, final question. This is it everybody. My name is Rachel. Last name is a secret. Well, so even if you wanted to not withhold it, you couldn't. I'm very sorry that the podcast listeners are not going to get to see Elliott's beautifully Wikipedia researched presentation about our beautiful city, Washington, DC.

And people in Washington DC love Washington DC. So I don't know if anybody has made movies about local DC politics that might be a next research project. It might be very interesting because we have some doosies around here. And specifically, my question is, which do you think is worse? The politicians in Geostorm who are trying to actually control the weather, or the sitting elected Washington D.C. official, who is still a seated official, who bought into the conspiracy theory and publicly said so that he thought people were controlling the weather, which is

worse. I think definitely our current real life. Well, the one that is because at least... Well, one is not a movie, so it can hurt us. Yeah. But also, at least in Geostorm, apparently they actually had the political will to do something about climate change, which is the most fantastic thing that happens in Geostorm. Even Geostorm is like, there's bad guys in the government but not the president.

Like the president only wants puppies and candy canes for everyone. Yeah I mean it feels like the only bad guy in the government in the in geostorm is like an outlier right? Yeah well we don't know about they don't, maybe the postman. Yeah, he's just a rocket launcher efficient out of who went bad. He just shows up at his office at the state department building with that rocket launcher. He's like, this is my ride. I can have this.

I'm just going to keep it over my desk. I think we're on agreement that we prefer the politicians of Geostorm, a movie where the Secretary of State, while being arrested, says, how did you, and Andy Garcia says, because on the damn president of the United States? That's right. Is that maybe the most unearned little bit

of machismo considering, Andy Garcia has done nothing to be helpful throughout the entire month. Other than suggest a couple get married? Yeah, well, I mean, he's a matchmaker president, which is pretty fantastic. But when Max is like, we got to send a team of scientists up there and he goes, no, no, no, one scientist

who we can control. And it's like, what do you expect them to do up there? But also, the idea that like, even if it wasn't George Butler and it all worked to quit in a plan, that there's this one guy who's got this long to do list of things to fix on the station Oh, also there's a problem in the men's room. I'll get to it. I'll get to it All right, well that's I mean that's it. I have to pee as much as you guys do

So I would like to thank you all for coming out uh Some quick housekeeping There's merch downstairs and we will be down there as soon as we can. As soon as Dan is done peeing. As soon as I'm done peeing and cleaning up the tech stuff that I have here, we'll be downstairs. Sign stuff. Sign stuff if you want it to be signed. And also after that, if we are not too tired, we will be at Rocketbar. And I believe that's the official like meet-up place for listeners Whether or not we're there that's what was decided online so if you want to go to Rocketbar you can and

That's I mean even if there wasn't a meet-up there you could go there if you wanted to know it's within your power Yeah, it's not a Trump hasn't taken that away from us And thank you everybody for coming to see us. Thank you for everybody at the 6th and I, Stenegog, for having us. Thank you, Karebos. Hey, for the flop house. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stewart Wellington.

And I'm Elliot Kaelin. Thank you, everyone. Thank you everyone. Good night. Okay, two things I'm gonna say. That's called commanding a stage. Yeah, one, you guys did great and we didn't even tell you you were supposed to do that. So nice work. Two, I kind of like that Stuart's beard forms got a bigger response than the city you live in. Uh, alright. I'm sorry. You could call someone real quick. Yeah. Well, I, you know, my mom, I haven't talked her in a while.

You know, she's, she keeps dodging ya. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artistone. Listener supported.