The Flop House - Ep. #267 - Dwegons and Leprechauns

Episode Date: September 29, 2018

We close out Smalltember with one of our "favorite" genres: the ill-conceived, micro-budgeted computer animated film. And Dwegons and Leprechauns is a horrific, fever dream of a doozy. Meanwhile, Dan remains the master of the unintended double entendre, Stuart ponders what "dweg" means, and Elliott insists we kill a Muppet. No Wikipedia page for Dwegons and Leprechauns, as if someone is working to WIPE ALL EVIDENCE OF THIS MOVIE FROM EXISTENCE. (God bless them.) Movies recommended in this episode BlackkKlansman Mandy Tampopo LIVE SHOWS: The Flop House in Richmond, IN on 11/3 The Flop House in Madison, WI on 1/26

On this episode we discuss Do we guns and leprechauns? Guys, I hate life. Hey, everyone, welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Oh, hey guys, it's me, Stuart Wellington. Hey, hey, hey, Elliot Kaelin, and I apologize that they came off sounding like the fat Albert tagline, which I did not mean I apologize I know a support fat Albert fat Albert or fat Albert Or the KFAT Albert nor the alien version fat Albert who is Who hangs out with his own crew of alien misfits fat outboard is in the in the gift shop looking at fat out looking for fat outboard license plates

Well fat outboard is on the bottom shelf and he's five dollars less than fat Albert Yeah All right, well, so I'm Ellie Kellen is what I'm saying. Okay So welcome to the flop house. Woo! Now Stuart, you seem tired. Are you tired? Hey man, you know, I don't know.

Maybe sometimes you just had a thing hit you in the eyeballs over and over and you're left reeling almost senseless and then you have to do a podcast about it. Okay, sure. Oh, you're talking about the movie. feeling almost senseless and then you have to do a podcast about it. Okay, sure. Oh, you're talking about the movie. Yeah.

Damn, what do you think of something like paintballs? I understand. Yeah, I was really worried for Stuart for a second. Yeah, I wear protective eyewear when I go paintballing. I was given no such warning when watching the movie, Dweegons and Lepercons. Now, guys, I did some, I prepared some stuff for this movie. the movie, do we guns and leper cons now. Now guys,

I did some, I prepared some stuff for this movie. Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay. Wonderful. So wait, first before you do that, Dan, what do we do on this podcast? This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Oh, good work. Back to you.

To kick things off, do we guns and leper cons? What? Okay. So that's the prepared material. Yeah. That's good stuff. That's good stuff.

Stuart's reaction is the accurate one to Dweegons and Leprechauns. Now normally we would dick around a while the top of this podcast, but I feel like there's no dicking around that is more dicking around than talking about the movie Dweicons and leprechauns which i'd add that this movie come to your attention for small member the

month where we look at small movies uh... because it's small timber the month that we look at small movies i was small and around for uh... options of way in advance because it needs to be something that we can all get our hands on even if it's small and uh... way in advance because it needs to be something that we can all get our hands on even if it's small. That was a weird way to put that. A best case scenario we are chasing a mouse. And Dan sitting here looking at the microphone saying that with a completely earnest look on his face. And by earnest look, I mean like late actor Jim, uh, Jim,

Barney. Jim. No. This movie was one of the rare occasions that I took a list of advice. That's right. I usually don't pay attention to the listeners, but in this case, I did. Hey, you consider them to be beneath you. I looked at the, yeah, you usually only acknowledge a listener when you are deleting comments. Those sheepie mutters to himself as he hits the delete button. Anyway, one of the listeners wrote in with this as a recommendation.

One of the listeners wrote in with this as a recommendation. One of the listeners wrote in. Yeah. One of the listeners wrote in. Sent me a portrait of myself, a sculpture of myself, and the nude. Okay. And a portrait, he did both of those things. No, I was just a portrait, a sculpture of portrait. Okay, a portrait of a sculpture. Yeah. Okay. I mean, that makes sense.

I mean, that sounds like Rodan. I thought he was a giant, tear-dacked doll. My mistake, I apologize. Dan, so a listener wrote in and said, you got to watch this Dwaygan's Leprechaun's movie. And then do they include a cyanide capsule with the email? I wish I could, I should go back and see if I can find that. Uh, and we got some Leprecon's letter actually now that you say that. Uh, but it's it's signed. Cipher comma Lewis. Wait a minute. He got us again.

Oh boy. So yeah, guys, what what the hell? So it's going to take us a little bit of time to parse Jewey guns and leprechauns. A movie that I'll just say right off the bat, there's almost no leprechauns in this movie. Let's just say that right there. And Jewey guns, what are they? Well, let's find out, shall we? Should we enter the magical, not at all, grotesquely designed world of Jewey guns and leprechauns guys you ready can you ever be ready uh... so just a pull back the curtain now that we watch the movies a lot basically

on our own at the point and never have i felt more alone than watching we guns and leprechauns but so i made the decision uh... after getting home from work at five thirty in the morning on Friday. Perfect. I'm just strapping. Maybe it was the half a bottle of tequila, of course, in through my veins, that I'm like, you know what? I'm going to pour myself a bowl of cereal, pop on twigons and leopacans, and do my night

lotion before bed. And I got to say, I don't remember a lot of that first, that first experience. So you're going to have to help me out. You're going to have to hold my, my hand, which is very soft because of my night lotion routine. Oh, it's lovely. Yeah. And you're going to have to walk me through these early scenes. I think something takes place in the old West times. Yes, you're right. Now, at Jouigan's Leprechauns, we should say, is a computer-generated animated film. Now, this means that a computer was forced to make this thing, and what I can only assume will someday be a technology crime when artificial intelligence gets its legal rights. But the movie

begins in the year 1849. That's right, the gold rush is in full full swing and we're in an Irish wagon camp in the old west the animation is already horrifying It's like what's it called when? It is animation that you assume like someone submitted this to be the example for the demo for a very cut-rate animated program and the person who is judging the demos was like, this is not good enough for this program that we're selling for $3.99 to animate your own movie. And they said, okay, well, I'll make my own movie out of it. What would you call that? Yeah, Dan, what would I call that?

Yeah, what's that call? That huge big expression that you put game out with. Yeah, what? You're a talented editor, Dan. You can chop that down. Hair Classic clauses. Okay, so I guess I don't know. So anyway, little Billy Fitzgerald,

he's an Irish immigrant. He gives a bunch of donuts to this camp of little troll things that are camped out right outside the wagon train. And they save him from a bear using a slingshot. And what happens is a bear jumps up behind Billy, the the Dweegen or whatever shoots it with a slingshot. And then the bear is suddenly, who knows how far away over a cliff and falls through a log and off a cliff. It's like, it's so

borderline incoherent already. And the Dweegen say to Billy, hey, what's your family? The fits Gerald's? Well, from now on, the fits Gerald's will be friends of the Dweegen's forever. And they give him a gold Dweegen coin as a keepsake. That's his, that's my gift to you, just for ordering. And you don't have to keep what you ordered, but you get to keep the gold coin 1499 manufacturers suggesting that you have value. And I know that, I know from watching a lot of Judge Judy that that constitutes a binding verbal agreement.

Mm-hmm. And you also know that you should not pee on someone's leg and tell them it's raining. As we've talked about before on this podcast, it's not a good way to get out of that situation. And also that Jud Shuddy seems to know baloney when she hears it. Now, I don't want to, we've introduced the dewey guns. And I know that, you know, everyone on Earth obviously is familiar with everyone's favorite characters, the dewey guns. Yeah, we don't need to explain what the Dweegons are right everywhere. We, we, but for the one person who's under a rock and you, to whom the word Dweegon might seem like the shearish gibberish. Yeah. We, we should explain to that one unlikely person,

what the Dweegons are, which is that they're basically big faces with spindly legs and arms coming off of them. And wings. And wings. And wings. It's like if someone took Mr. Potato Head through and that vat of radioactive waste that the guy falls in at the end of Robocop and then pulled him out of the waste and then hit him with a hammer a bunch of times. Well, you'd end up with is basically a Dweegon, except for the one Dweegon who's a rock

and roll babe who looks like a kind of sexy baby doll that we're the bottom half is a lizard. I guess the reason the reason you're saying is sexy baby dolls because she has multi-colored super long eyebrows. Yes. And also sings kind of inappropriate metal ballad type, 80s hair metal ballad type. Like that's about. Like that song about one that half sex with a donut. Yeah.

That's one of the ones I'm thinking about. So, uh, we learn more about dragons as they go on, but basically, yeah, radio active mutant, Mr. Potato heads that look like sometimes look kind of like anti-Jewish caricatures from Nazi literature and sometimes just look like hideous monsters. Uh, but they're the heroes. And as we will learn later, Juigans, here's the things that needs to know about them. One, they live underground.

Two, they mine for gold. Three, they love donuts. Donuts, I don't know what a donut is. I apologize. Fat Albord and donuts are my, I'm really pulling a bunch of dans today, and I don't know why. So, they mine for gold, they live underground, they love donuts, and they alternately solve

problems and make problems a thousand times worse, depending on what they're doing at the moment. So we cut to the present and really that little boy, he's long dead. That was 170 years ago. His great grandson who is now an old man has a horrifying pet cow that he keeps in his house and he talks to one of the lead dragons nosy three horn who is he says he's a reporter for the Dweegen inquire now we never see him being a reporter did you guys expect to at some point see him doing his job because I did and it never happened thoughts. I want his reporter persona is really just a cover for his super duet gone persona.

Oh, I see. I say mild mannered nosy three horn is actually just super duet gone. And with the power to what be the worst of them, be the grossest of them. Yeah, be the most important. And he's the main character duet gone, right? Yeah, he's the main duet again. He's like, oh, wow, guy, come on. Let's do this thing. He talks like that, you know.

Okay. And the old man, this is a children's movie, scene two. The old man flings a pancake so hard that he dies of a heart attack. And nosy is so tearful and his grief is so funny. And with his dying words, the old man says, contact my relatives. And then we get the opening titles, Jewey guns and leprechauns. So we're in the magical world of Jewey guns.

Just to remind you again, we've seen a little boy almost killed by a bear. And we've seen an old man die of a heart attack because he threw a pancake to a heart. So that's the magical whimsical world of Jewey guns. Well, and it's also, it's captured in, like amazingly realistic animation. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. If there are times when you're watching a current modern day Pixar movie and you're like, this looks so real, why even bother doing it as animation, I wish I could see something that had a little bit more stylized exaggeration. And then I saw a juicaine's leprechauns and I was like, oh boy, did I wish on a monkey's paw? What happened? I think that the one thing that should not be done is cheap computer animated movies. Like it just like done on the podcast.

No, just done as a thing. We should do as many of them on the podcast as we possibly can. I don't think we can possibly do any more there. I mean, there was, there were. I'm going to have to check with my shop steward, but I think this is the breach of my contract. Okay. I'm just saying that like, you can have beautiful shots

in a live action low budget film. You can even make a hand drawn, animated film that's lovely for cheap, but you cannot make a cheap computer animated movie. And what about those beautiful shots of the lovingly rendered shots of the San Francisco city line? Mm-hmm.

The waves lapping. Yeah, Dan, what about that? With the ocean that looks like a bunch of bubble wrap, that's just kind of moving up and down in a sort of simulation of ocean currents. Yeah. So much so that you're like, did Spike Jones swede this sequence? Yeah. The other thing that just disturbs me about the animation in this is that the adult characters and the kid characters, like the human characters, I mean to say,

they all, we're thinking, they all walked like the characters and the money for nothing video. They all have that kind of movement. That's what that's what bothered you about them. Was it the fact that their face features don't seem attached to each other? Yeah, I'm halfway through the sentence. Let's wait until it reaches its terminus. I'm going to need a conjunction here, Dan, or at least a semi-colon. Let me know. While the Dwee-Gons moves like they were weird claymation critters, like there was this fluid animation with the Dwee-Gons that didn't exist with the humans. But it was like, yeah, it was like creepy the way it came off.

There's a moment later on when Griso, the juigon who loves cars and lives in a house made out of car engines, dances for just like a second. He just does that kind of like break dancing move where your arm does a sine wave and it continues onto your other arm. And it was horrifyingly fluid in a way that I could not accept.

It was really gross. So I understand exactly what you're saying, Dan. But yeah, this was the first time I was watching this movie. I was like, I miss the visual coherence of food fight. And maybe it's just because I'm looking at it in retrospect. But I was like, as ugly and weird as food fight was, the characters like occasionally moved like characters in a movie as opposed and like I don't know

it was just like maybe you know what I guys I got a rewatch food fight to see if that's actually true you guys want to watch it with me I feel I feel like I want to what I want to write a handwritten letter to Sherlock Nooms and apologize because that is a startling feat of human creation. Oh Sherlock Nooms looks great I mean and especially but like that's a That is a startling feat of human creation. Surelock knows looks great. I mean, and especially, but like that's a professional movie. And compared to this, it's like, I agree with you, Stewart.

If you can write my name at the bottom of that apology note, that'd be great. Uh-huh. Dan, you want to get in on this apology action? They know what they did. Oh, wow, okay. Okay. The old Sherlockian, still angry at Sherlock knows.

Yeah. Okay guys, so, Nozie, he knows what he needs to do. He goes to a council meeting at the Jouigan Lounge Club in Gold City. And after a very long conversation, they decide to find the relatives. Which, so the Jouigan's, they kind of look like 3D,

mushy versions of like the Blue Minis from Yellow Submarine, except horrible. And it's kind of like, and every Jouigan has its own accent and personality. You've got your Southern Bellswegan, you've got your English rocker chick Jouigan, you've got your Jouigan who loves cars, you've got your computer nerd Jouigan.

I feel like have them had Brooklyn accents, but maybe I'm just projecting. And most of them had Brooklyn accent. I mean, they all, most of them kind of sounded like this. We're dragons. Yeah, that's all with this California accent. Yeah, because they're in California.

And here's this, there are a couple of moments where I'm like, what is going on in this movie? And this is one of them where they have this long council meeting scene where the joke is that the elderly leader of the council has to keep looking in the book of Jouigan and then coming to the same conclusions that nosy already came to about how they've got to contact These relatives and then another Jouigan walks in with a tray of French fries and goes who wants French fries And you hear a voice from off screen go oh, yeah, scene abruptly ends

And I was like is that a joke Was that a punchline to the scene? I don't understand. Like I don't understand how that minute, that moment, I don't know how it connected to anything else. And it's like, as we're in the weekends, love donuts. Why were French fries there? So, I mean, that's just a natural act break, right? Okay, so.

I mean, the weekends are all like, they're hanging out in this like club kind of place that has like a bar there and that's really like. Yeah, it's a real night club. Yeah, I know, but it felt like a night club to me, like it felt like the few times that I'm like, I don't know, like a few times you've been to a night club. Yeah, I've been to a place like that. And it just felt very strange to me to have that emotional like recall of that experience while watching a

children's movie. Yeah, okay. I can see that. Yeah, the idea of like how you bring a certain like you bring your experiences with you when you watch a movie. Yeah, that's really insightful, Dan. Okay. Thank you. And it kind of changes the whole experience watch a movie. Yeah, that's really insightful, Dan. Okay.

And it kind of changes the whole experience of the movie. All right. I like it. Something that maybe even the filmmaker had intended. Yeah, Stuart has insulted you by ring up, I guess spectator theory. You got served, Dan. So anyway, the Dweegins, I guess,

get in touch with the Fitzgeralds. I don't understand how. And Pete Fitzgerald, the old man's, what, nephew shows up with his son, Timmy, his. And he's the one, he's the one who wears the like letterman jacket that says Chicago on it. Yes. Yeah. To show he's from the big city, I guess. And he's still reliving his glory days since he is a middle aged man who is a widower who's still wearing his varsity jacket. But because I'll tell you guys, glory days, they'll pass you by glory days since he is a middle-aged man who is a widower who's still wearing his varsity jacket. But because I'll tell you guys, glory days, they'll pass you by glory days.

They're like the young girl's eyes, glory days. Did you just come up with that on right now? Yeah, I just made that up. Also, born in the USA, I made that up. Oh, that sounds so patriotic. Yeah, yeah, it's not that. I do like how this dad, this dad character, his name is Luke.

Yeah, and Lou of, sure, Pete, I guess. And Lou of giving him an actual cleft chin, they just had like, there's like a weird, slightly off-colored striped-down is chin that kind of looks like the facial markings that most aliens have in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Yeah, well, I assumed he had like a Maori tattoo from his years abroad.

Sure. Yeah, that's what he did for his spring break, because he went to New Zealand and got a Maori tattoo. Like, when I was in high school, you know, way back in the stone age. People are getting the stone age, right? Still. Oh, don't tell my boss, I'll get fired. And the... I'll check with my shop steward and I'll make sure I stick around. The, all the kids went to Mexico and came back with cool braided hair.

Well, that was probably the same thing, right? Yeah, very much so, yeah. So, my bit's done. Okay, you have a bit. Let's all bounce past the ball to you, fundamental. Okay. Dan, do you want to talk about the family's weird cat that they bring with them?

I mean, it's a Persian cat. That doesn't mean it's weird. No, I mean, it is so frighteningly designed and animated. It's head is, it looks like something out of house sue and then it disappears after I think two scenes. Oh yeah. I might have missed that part because I also watched this movie late at night and I dozed off for a little right around this point and then I woke back up.

Well let me fill it in then. Okay. So they go to the house. Pete is planning to turn it into a rustic, lovely country in to make some money, because they don't have any money. And while they're driving there, they're almost run off the road by a Euro trash couple in a sports car, and the couple talk about how they're gonna rob a museum on their honeymoon.

And they're like, just, I mean, they're so fake Eastern European that I assumed they were gonna turn into vampires at some point. When they get to the house, it literally has a rainbow over it, and Missy, their neighbor, who's an interior designer, and it's implied was close friends with the old man and maybe had sex with him. It's never quite sheer to me. She looks like like a first pass at a farmer's only dating app pad. Yeah. And she is, she's just way too comfortable in this

old man's house, which is decrepit as she as she describes it, keep in mind, this is a children's movie. She says, this house is messier than a bowl with a spastic colon. And then not too long after that, the grandma tells Peter, keep your panties on Peter. And I was like, what what children is this movie for? Well, these are okay lines. Yeah. And the fact that the, I'm going to skip ahead a little bit. A little spastic colon that jokes for the adults, you know, it's like a Pixar sneak

since some adult material. Just they always they always sneak in their their uncontrollable shitting jokes. Mm-hmm. Uh, no, what I was saying was that it the whole crime subplot, like this movie suffers from that disease that like family comedy's had in the 80s, where it's like, there has to be diamond or drug smuggling involved somehow.

Like it's gotta come in in the third act kind of to be the conflict, because we don't actually have any other conflict, which is what happens here in Dwaygan's and Leopardcums too. But in the 80s, they were like, kids love three things, diamond or drug smuggling, getting mistaken for a spy and corporate intrigue.

Kids love making sure that corporations don't fall into the hands of the wrong guy. Daniel, yes, I, sorry, I interrupt you. No, no, I forget. And that's why the deweagens exist. Is there the like, there the like the sugary syrup to help the other stuff go down.

Oh, I assume it's the opposite that the the jewel's th. I assume it's the opposite. The jewel's thieving is in there as the sugar to help kids swallow the dewey guns, which are, which should not be swallowed. The house is so decrepit that old man's pet bull is still in it. I assume he's just been roaming around eating the old man's corpse. And Timmy rides the bull and the bull having served its purpose in the plot of the movie disappears never to be seen again. I assume

it's ascended to heaven with the old man. And now you're probably listening to Elliot describe the movie and you're like this. Elliot's description is so jerky and strange like it has no narrative cohesion. Well, that's kind of how the movie feels like there it feels like a string of shots that have nothing to do with each other. And they're just edited in, like, Willie Nilly. Yeah. You know how when people are planning screenplays, they'll put index cards on the wall

and each index card is a beat in the film. This feels kind of like all those cards fell off the wall and then like a vacuum cleaner accidentally sucked up half of them. And then they were like, we gotta get the movie made just throw those cards up on the wall and they didn't know the order that they were putting them in and they made the movie off of that Because let's get back to the house. It's dangerously on a dip crepe it the dad literally falls through the floor and has to be Lassoed by Missy and dragged back up again. Oh, yeah Country in they use the bull right they use the bull to help drag him out

But he was like almost he was almost out of the hole when the she last out the bull which seems crazy you could have just climbed the rest of the way yeah it seems strange so the tweegans decide we're gonna help the Fitzgeralds we're gonna secretly so that they'll just think their luck has turned around why I don't know Dweegen logic what are you gonna do those doegans now I know it's not PC to say this about doigins, but let me be real for a moment to say one. It's one of his tears again.

Let me just say what everyone's afraid to say about doigins, which is that they're obsessed with luck. And it's like, that's crazy, dude. Just take credit for the nice thing you're doing. Because the doigins say we're gonna keep ourselves a secret, but then they then reveal themselves to every member of the family within like a day. Let's get to it.

But first that cat gets mad at a Jouigan and the Southern Bel Jouigan Bronco busts that cat. The cat, again, having served its function in a comedic scene, disappears vaporized having accomplished its goal on earth. No need for that frightening Harry cat to be around. Okay. Yeah. Quick scene for Timmy. We're missing all these scenes where the kids

wishing thanks into the cornfield. They just got cut from a movie. Timmy, we got a brief moment where he asks his dead mom to help from heaven. That goes nowhere. Thanks to Wiggins and Leprechauns. The Juygens, they're trying to hide a pile of gold nuggets around the house so the humans will stumble on it,

but the humans just can't seem to see it. They are so blind. The dragons, they just have to get into help. And of course, computer dragon, who has a chin like a scrotum, but his bright purple. He decides to like... I feel like that like all of them have skin that's basically like the texture of an orange, right? Like, It's all oddly lumpy. Yeah, if I was being complimentary, but if I was

like this movie is parent and I wanted to take an insult and turn into a convalent, I'd be like, well, it's a riot of textures. It's a riot of color and texture. A real challenge is the eye for a moment to moment. It's a riot of people doing, overdoing their voice acting by about 75%. And so this computer's weekend, he buys their furniture by hacking into a furniture auction's server and changing the prices. Now, guys, his computer skills are kind of come in pretty handy later. So I'm glad they put this in here to foreshadow it. Meanwhile, okay, these Russian mobsters who live and work in a warehouse,

they want to steal some jewels, the Prague Sun, the Pride of Prague, which is going to be at the San Francisco Historical Museum, which seems like it's kind of outside the purview of the San Francisco Historical Museum. I don't know how the crown jewels of Prague enter into San Francisco's rich and storied history, but I don't know the whole history

of San Francisco, the golden city. So, perhaps Prague is big there. Now, here's a mistake. The bad guy's accent makes the word jewel sound like Jews. So for a while, I thought he was talking about stealing the Jews of Prague, and I was like, this movie got crazy. Yeah, I was, I took the early precaution to throw on those closed captions. Good idea.

Yeah, that helped out in that department. They should have called this movie, Juegen's Incaptions, because they're very necessary for understanding it. And you guessed it, those young lovers we saw earlier are going to be hired by the mobsters to steal the jewels. Their names are Vlad and I think Katiana. That's possible, yeah. Yeah.

Grandma, she catches a Juegen trying to steal a donut. She's possible. Yeah. Grandma, she catches a dragon trying to steal a donut. She's cool with it. She feeds some pancakes. Meanwhile, Timmy's exploring the basement and meets Nozie. Nozie takes him to the platform that you go do to get to dragon land or gold city, whatever it's called. Now, let me explain the science of this because it's pretty complicated in it, but it makes sense when you work it out.

So he's shot with, quote, a laser beam, which, which shrinks, Timmy down to Dweegan's size and the way you do it, Dan, do you remember the magic words? You say Dweegan twice? You say Dweegan to shrink and to get big, you say Dweegoth. So, but before he says Dweegan, what the fuck does Dweeg mean? I don't know, because it doesn't make sense. Later on, they named the hotel the Dweeg in and everyone's just like, yeah, Dweeg in, make sure, makes sense. Yeah, Dweeg, I don't, I don't get it. Yeah, when they, when they decided to name the fucking place, the Dweeg in,

they first say, no one can know about us. You have to keep our existence secret. And then they're like, they name the place after themselves. And then they're always hanging around. Like, they don't do a very good job hiding themselves. But you do have a kid yelling, Dweegoth, which sounds like a curse from in a movie set in the future or something like that. They go to Dweegon Land.

It's a magical place. Timmy almost falls to his death off a rickety bridge right away. And we find out that Juegenland is powered by rainbow energy. So with this brief moment, Missy and grandma talk about the death of Pete's wife and how Pete is lonely. We all know that he's going to hook up with Missy. It has to happen. And then we go back to Nozzie's tour of Juegenland, which I'll just say this, I admire the way this movie handles Juegenland in that this tour is explains their energy uses, how their transportation, their housing, the entire utility infrastructure of Juegenland is explained.

And kids love that. And they also cover the fact that Tuygens respect their elders, you know, it's not a bad thing to grow old. In fact, it's celebrated. There's this weird part where we go? Yeah, that's not a bad thing to grow old. In fact, it's celebrated. There's this weird part where we go, yeah, this is the best houses for the old people. The elders get the best of everything. And it's like, are you trying to make me feel bad?

Nozy, for prioritizing youth in my media? Dan, how did you feel about it? As Dan, as someone who's rapidly getting older, how did you feel knowing that in the tweegans city, you'd be celebrated? Oh, well, I missed that part, but that sounds pretty good. How do I get there? Well, you get there by going to a harmless rainbow laser beam

and say, Oh, that's right, say Jouigan. Yeah. I think you've got a shot with that punk girl, Jouigan. Do you mind women that have no sex characteristics at all and also have like weird baby dragon bodies? Yeah, but are still kind of gross because they have like wear sex characteristics.

I'd be. Don't know why you have to judge her so much, James. Yeah, Dan, I don't mean to body shame this, this week in lady, I apologize. No, but here's where we learned that the city is runs on captured rainbow power. And people, they serve on rainbows. Oh, the serving on rainbows part was pretty crazy

where he's like, hey kid, do you want to try it? And it's like, no. And then they never do it. Like what cut? It's like the, what kind of movie introduces like a fictional export export extreme sport. And then the characters are like, nah, I'm good. And they don't do it at all. It makes no sense.

But I guess I'm just standing it up for the sequel. Any and the and nose. He's even like, yeah, it's good exercise. But I'm like the real exercise of of surfing is the like paddling out there. Once you catch the wave, like, that's just fun, dude. So do they have to paddle up a fucking rainbow? Damn. I think they do. Yeah, this is the part of the movie though,

where I'm just like, all right, well, this is a weird psychedelic freak out. And I, I'm wondering whether my sanity will remain intact. It's a weird thing. Yeah, after seeing Mandy earlier this week, this is far more horrifying. But it's like a municipal pamphlet in the form of a psychedelic freakout,

because they're like, here's the building made out of socks. It's our town hall where the laws of Jouigan lands are made. And it's like, why would a kid care about that? It's like that they were watching the Wizard of Oz and they were like, this yellow brick road will take you where you want to go. And they go they were watching the Wizard of Oz and they were like, this yellow brick road will take you where you wanna go and they go, kids love roads, of course. Let's say kids love knowing how cities work

or like if in the hobbit, they were like, well, we're gonna have to go to, what's the name of the, we're gonna have to go to Smog's Lair. Here's how Smog's lovely mountain. We're gonna have to go to Lonely Mountain. And here's how the septic tanks and lonely mountain work Because you gotta believe a dragon's gonna have a lot of bms

So allow me to explain billbo and billbo would be like fascinating. I love this And that's a thing that's actually the beauty of all of Tolkien's writing is that there's no there's no extra stuff. It's all all You cut sit to the bone. He's like Elmore, he's the Elmore letter to fantasy. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they say about Tolkien, not a wasted word in the bunch. Now, there is a moment where they explain how do we guns eat donuts exclusively and that do we gain a donut is not unhealthy. In fact, it's extra healthy.

And I'm sure you guys were like me and I just nod in my head. I'm like, hmm, sounds good. Yeah, he describes us being like broccoli for them. They do, you know, it's, Dweegen's have different biology than us. And as you've seen, they don't mind being disgustingly sphere shaped and lumpy. So they really like that stuff. Now here's some things we also learn that as they're riding along the major, Jouigan Expressway, that's a joke for the kids. Kids love

jokes about the major, D-GYN Expressway, about regional highways. Kids love it. We learn that, so Nozi tells the story of the ancient Jouigans, which is that in the 19th century, the Leprechauns, who came to America from Ireland, had sex with local fairies, and Dweegans were born. And that's the entire story. And we had to treat this like that initial courting, right? Yeah, as they square dance on a man's carpet. And the way it's shot where it keeps like cutting to like the lips of the fairies, and like the shimmy of their hips, and you're like, what is going on here?

Cuts to a 30 minute sex scene of the two of them. And like, yeah, and the leprechauns hair gets all ruffled because they're all hot and bothered. Oh, yeah, yeah. Start saying things about it, Shalaylee. We all know what he's talking about. It's gross. Anyway, they go to the rock club of Sophia, the rock

and roll, Jwegen, and she plays her ballad about how she's got a hole in her heart tonight and only you can fill it. It's not really a kid-friendly song, I guess is what I'm saying. I do. I do like that she's playing the song to a crowd of no one. And our two travelers arrive with the piano key staircase, and they walk walk in and we get to see her player song a little bit And it cuts to them and they're immediately enjoying the music by just jumping up and down I Got to assume they're just trying to make her feel better It's like that horrible improv everywhere prank where they all went to a local bands

Show and pretended they were huge fans of the band right? They're doing that to her They're just gaslighting her so that they can convince her to be a big star so that she'll I guess what sign over the rights to her songs. Dan, what's their plan? What's their scheme? What are they doing? Uh, well, they know, yeah, they know that the publishing rights to the songs where the sweet money is.

You get all that, I mean, you get that ASCAP money, get money when it's used in commercials. It's all, it's all, it's all. So that's the story. So they're trying to trick her out of her million. Yeah, yeah, so Nozzie says to Timmy, we're gonna help your dad get the gold he needs to build us in. But in a way, start interuptial it.

But in a way, aren't they doing her a favor because by keeping her like lean and hungry, like I feel like she'll have a better creative output, you know? Like, like the difference of like early Metallica versus Lake Metallica when they're rich and not as talented. I say. So you were saying that a long time ago they were Metallanted and now that Metallic licks, I don't totally agree. I spit out the bones, a great song of their most recent album. There's a reason they put it last on the album because if you would not have stuck around with

the album, if that was the first song, you would have been like, great, I got it. These other ones don't quite add up. But anyway, that was Stuart Nellie go after Metallica. If you want to tell Lars that we did that and get us beaten up, just write to Lars Orich, Cara of Metallica, one, two, three millionaire road, anywhere USA, dollar sign, dollar sign, dollar sign, dollar sign, dollar sign. The zip code has made that dollar signs.

So okay, so they say, we'll give you the gold, but you got to give us 5,000 donuts. And it seems like that might be a challenge for Timmy. And he goes, but then does he goes, the old man had to deal with the donut shop in town that he would give000 donuts. And it seems like that might be a challenge for Timmy. And he goes, but then goes, the old man had to deal with the donut shop in town that he would give him donuts, it exchange for gold dust.

Okay, great. So why did you need Timmy to facilitate this transaction? Seems like you got it taken care of. And since most of the time when people sit, now if you saw a Jouigan in real life, Dan, what would your reaction be? Give me your honest reaction.

I would try and crush it with my boot. Yes, I think all of us would. We would scream and horror and try to kill it. But in this movie when people see Jouigans, they act as if a regular person just walked by. Like they respond to Jouigans the same way you would respond to like a mailman. Well, you're like, oh, okay. Yeah, do you have something for me? Great. Nice to meet you. Bye. The Jouigans do suggest that adults have a more difficult time accepting them, but that doesn't seem to be the case. No, the adults are just ready to, they're ready to get on the D train.

That D, you know what it stands for? What? Dweegen. I don't know why that was a mystery for you, Dan. No, that's good. Are you hoping the D stood for Dan that you wanted to be in the movie? No, that's good. Were you hoping the D stood for Dan that you wanted to be in the movie? Now, why is this movie called Dweegins and Leprechauns?

Like my theory, my literal theory is that people are like, nobody knows what the fuck a Dweegen is. Like shove some leprechauns on them. Well, why don't they just go all the way then and call the movie? Leprechauns and leprechauns? Leprechauns and leprechauns would and leprechaun's equal to we can leprechaun's and leprechaun's would be pretty good night for i do think using a math problem as a title hasn't been done before

uh... now he's that yet yet true dana what what so let's let's take that idea to its farthest limits the title is a math problem do uh... fairies plus leprechaun equals deweygens. You think that would somehow be clearer than the title deweygens and leprechauns? I do. You know, I mean, like, yeah, because it's a math problem and people immediately assume it's a title for a movie.

And so they should watch this movie that's roughly 100, what, an hour and 38 minutes. That's, this is a, yeah, it's crazy that how, that this movie manages to be as long as it is. Now, Dan, people love math. You hit the nail on the head with that. You always see people doing math for fun.

Actually, I guess they do. It's called Sudoku, but that's not like math math. You just need to know numbers. So you want to tap into that untapped math for fun market. Like we all know the people who go to those pub math nights where they compete to see if they can get the math faster than anybody else, and let's not forget how much money math leads make,

and all those endorsement deals. Well, and math and magicians, everyone's favorite type of magician. Now what makes a math and magician different from a regular magician? Well, a regular magician does something impressive like disappearing, where as a math magician gets a couple of numbers from you and does it go through a bunch of sequences

of expressions? What do you call them? Equations? Equations. He does a bunch of equations, math problems. And then he's like, oh, your number was zero and you're like, oh great You somehow processed everything through a bunch of math problems that turned it into zero You're saying that a math Dan of you been practicing your close-up mathic This guy is on fire. But, boo, boo. Okay, so Timmy pretends to find the gold, great. And then there's another scene

that kind of sums up the movie for me, which is two hideously ugly tweegans, very extreme close up of them. One picks up the phone, makes a call. We sit there and watch as the phone rings multiple times. And then he just says, they got the gold TTYL and the scene is over. It's like, it has everything that's wrong with this movie

where the scene is pointless. We don't need to know that. And it's taking up time that could be us explaining what the fuck we're watching, too. I mean, it's to continue the, it's to go along with the idea we talked about in the last episode of scenes and movies that don't necessarily you know relate to the plot but are you know just a nice little piece of flavor. That's true

Yeah, it's just adding rich sauce to it. Okay, one. It's a scene that we don't need to see two You are forced to look at these horrible dragons as they do a very mundane thing and three Yeah, they're just like, they're not doing anything. Like you're just sitting there with these horrible designs where they literally wait on the phone to ring. Like, and then it abruptly ends when there could be a conversation of some kind.

It's like the movie is constantly bringing you into scenes that don't make any sense, take forever, and then abruptly ends when they might be going somewhere. Dan, prove me wrong, counterpoint. Dan, you're taking the part in this debate. Jouigan's and Leopard Cons is a great movie that makes a lot of sense. And you're opening statement. Uh, like the works of Yoderowski, do Eugins and Leopard Gods draws upon a rich uh, mystic tradition strong opening. And it's psychedelia, uh, um, opens your mind to a new way of storytelling. Wow.

Dan, I think you proved me wrong. They should put that blurb on the box of juicies and leprechauns, opens your mind to a new idea of storytelling. Dan McCoy, the pop house. No, actually Dan McCoy, the Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Yeah. And just put and just put a little picture of Yoderavsky on the box. It says it, Yoderavsky, director, magic mountain.

Wait, director of the magic mountain? Yeah, right. I thought it was Holy Mountain. Oh, sorry, Holy Mountain, you're right. It's the Holy Mountain. I apologize. Magic Mountain sounds like a theme park ride. Yeah, right? I thought it was Holy Mountain. Oh, sorry, Holy Mountain, you're right. It's the Holy Mountain. Yeah, magic mountain sounds like a theme park ride. It is a theme park.

It is a theme park. The magic mountain is a theme park, yeah. Okay. But Yodorovsky founded it. Oh, whoa. He was going to do a movie based on the video game roller coaster tycoon. And instead, he said, what's a more realistic experience than a movie? An actual experience. So he started this Yoderovsky-themed theme park,

but Holy Mountain, he didn't own the rights to the name. And they told him, just call it El Topo land. And he said, no, no, no. There's already El Topo Europe, which is a European theme park. And so they named it Magic Mountain instead. And that's the story of the Yoderovsky theme park back park back to Dwaygan's Elepricons, a movie that Dan McCoy describes as, how did he describe it?

A psychedelic feast for the senses? Yeah, that's right. So anyway, the Dwaygan's are, now construction is earner-nosed on the house. Now, and they're, I guess they're paying the construction workers in gold nuggets. And the Dwaygan's are worried that the construction is going to cave in Dweegenland underneath the house. So they sabotage the equipment and then reveal themselves to the data immediately and say, Hey, we're worried that if you dig here, it's going to hurt Dweegenland.

Here's an alternate construction plan and here's some gold bars to pay for it. And you should tell the Dweegen. And they time up and there's a couple of scenes of him. So this is the only scene in the movie where the father is not wearing his trademark jacket, but instead he's wearing, you know, like a, like a white, like a white sleeveless, like a white tank top. He's in his pajamas. I was trying to, I was trying to come up with an inoffensive name for that. Yeah, I think sleeveless shirt is the, is the way to go. I understand your problem there. And there's a lot of shots of him like kind of straining at his bonds and it's kind of sexy,

right? And his hair is all messed up. I'm like, yeah, let me do it. Yeah, this is how it's how it should start. Yeah, thanks, Wiggins. Now, it's weird when a kid's movie is actually more weirdly sexual than the then the deviant art based on it, but I think Jouigan's Leprechaun's is man, just to pull that off. Guys, now we've got some trouble.

Things are going great at the end, the Jouigan, as they name it, a name that I'm sure has led many a traveler to say, what? Is Jouigan the name of the guy who made it? Oh, and someone goes, oh, it's a play on the word Dweegan. And the other person says, what is a Dweegan? Well, how is that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then their eyes melt out of their face.

Why did the atom bomb go off right at that moment? I feel like, I mean, it's one of those names that's so common that like, you go to almost any town and there's a twig in, right? Oh yeah, well, you know, that's the thing. You know, if you go to a jui-gan, you're gonna get the same great service. It's not the most luxurious place, but you're gonna get clean sheets, a warm bath,

and weird scrotum looking Mr. Pate, I had a lot of monsters that tie you up in the middle of the night. That's just the service you can expect at any jui-gan location. Coast to coast. Now, Dan, you were gonna buy a Jouigan franchise and open one up in Brooklyn.

How's that working out? You know, I got, you're still looking for investors, right? Yeah. Well, I think, I mean, I know that you've been trying to put together your own video presentation to entice investors, but I don't think you have to do the work, you could just show them this movie, Dan. Yeah. Oh, actually, I was going to say that that had been the problem, as I show PowerPoints,

and the PowerPoints include photos of the Deweygens, okay, and everyone runs screaming from the room with that point. Fair point, fair point. But that was originally your plan. They were going to do that, but as they run, all their money would fall out of their pockets, and they'd just keep it all up with their shelves vegetables and the jewels. Yeah, sure. So those thieves we mentioned earlier, they steal the Prague Sun and they go to hide out at the Jouig Inn. The Jouig Inn's, of course, giving you the service that is, you know, just standard at

a Jouig Inn, go through their bags and find the Prague Sun Joule. They think it's a gold donut. They take it and put it on display underground. This is pretty common in this kind of like crime, you know, this kind of crime noir, like storytelling where you have multiple stories. Oh, yeah, it's a real red broad west. Yeah, it seemed to be like, yeah, slowly like merging to this inevitable confrontation. Oh, yeah, oh, sorry, I should say more of a two days in the valley. Yeah, this was a two-jewygens in the valley. Although there is a moment where the two criminals double cross the third member of their gang by springing in the eyes and

what like kicking him out of the back of their car or something. In this movie, oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. Because this weasley guy who is who works for the Russian mobster, they say, we're going to blame this on you. And that doesn't, the mobster doesn't believe that. He knows to go after these two. So, the Dwayne's put on display, and Sophia sings the aforementioned song, Stuart mentioned earlier about wanting to have sex with a donut.

It goes on for a while too, right? And then I think she starts playing another song. But the thing is, do they steal the, the Dway you steal it from the thieves because it look like a donut they thought it was a golden donut you know they didn't realize it was the son of prog or whatever no no they're not that familiar with eastern european

jewels which to be fair there's weekends they live underground they don't seem to have regular television reception that we know they have we know they're on the internet and we know they have phones but maybe they've never been to the San Francisco Historical Museum.

They're not members, certainly. They don't get the calendar mailed to them that says, what mark out these days, we're going to have the Prague Sun for a limited time. And here's, we're not going to show you a picture of it because it's a hideously ugly piece of garbage, but we want you to come and see it. We're just going to tell you it's impressive. We're not actually going to show it to you. So they haven't seen any of that. So they don't know what is that assume it's just kind of, again, as anyone would assume, a golden donut. Now, here's the question.

When you're a tweaking, does everything kind of look like a donut? Yeah, because this thing doesn't actually, I mean, it doesn't really look like a donut. It's got a bunch of shiny prongs coming out of it. It's just round. When you look at a donut and you're liking a really good mood, doesn't it look like you guys got shiny prongs coming out of it. It's just round. When you look at a donut and you're liking a really good mood, doesn't it look like you guys got shiny prongs coming out of it? Yeah, it's like shining. Uh, sure.

Yeah, it's like a donut is starring in a Disney cartoon and those like the sunbeams are coming out of its head. You look out the way the sun likes glints off of the glaze on the donut, where you see the star that leads you to Jesus, but it's a donut instead. What? I mean, Dan, if a donut led people to Jesus, we'd have a lot more Christians in this world, am I right? Yes. People love donuts. What was it?

Why is Elliot winking at you, Dan? Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink. Dan, have you heard the good news about donuts? They're delicious. I have heard that. Oh, okay. Well, so Stuart, have you heard the good news? Am I the first, is this only news to me? Was everyone else aware of this already? So guys, this is around where the criminals realize their donut trophy has been stolen. Yeah, they hold everyone at gunpoint and Timmy goes and by guns, I mean, there's one pistol and one oozee.

Yes. And because this is apparently a Shane black movie. This is the end of Iron Man 3. So that's what they've got. They certainly don't have Iron Man armor because why would anyone use Iron Man armor in an Iron Man movie? Just send them to a warehouse full of boxes, or I guess it's a loading dock,

just put guns in their hands, Shane Black. Look, I don't even wanna talk about that guy for obvious reasons. Anyway, so Timmy, he takes everybody except grandma to Dweegenland, shrinks them down, they don't seem to have a problem with this. And the thieves just start shooting up Dweegenland. Meanwhile, the Russian mob shows up at the inn, but the Russian mobster kind of takes a sweet

tooth interest towards grandma. If you know what I mean, I mean she's pretty awesome. She's presenting pretty hard to like she's thirsty. This is not. Yeah, she's down to pound. I mean, grandma might as well like if anything, a certain point of becomes embarrassing, just how desperate she is for this mobster to just like give it to her, you know.

But I think she's, I think, I think she's like, like gaslighting him, like she's leading a mom to try and trick him. Oh, maybe. I'm not sure. Cause she's like, who's this creep with a ponytail in glasses? Sun glasses.

I think it's more like this. Who's this creep with the sunglasses and ponytail? Oh, okay, cool. Graham likes. Okay. Graham outfits is pretty cool, yeah. So the dragons have to defend themselves, but according to the book of dragon,

they can't use guns. So instead they just shoot potato bazookas at them. That's right. Tons of potatoes. Pretty big loophole in the thing. Like, oh, you can't use guns, but you can use a gun shaped thing at them. That's right. Tons of potatoes. Seems like a pretty big loophole in the thing. Like, oh, you can't use guns, but you can use a gun shaped thing that shoots a projectile. I don't know. I don't know who wrote these fucking Dweegen laws and who's enforcing them,

but I think a potato gun is not as spirit of the law. It sounds, it sounds un-American. Yeah. Yeah. Well, guys, I don't know what to tell you. You're right. I'm not going to stand up and argue that the Dweegen Constitution isn't full of loopholes or as they call them donut holes, because they're obsessed with fucking donuts.

But look, maybe it's an imperfect document. But the Dweegen's who wrote it, we're not perfect Dweegen's and we're fooling ourselves to think that they had all the answers. It was written hundreds of years ago, times have really changed for Juegens, maybe it's time to have a new Jueg Stooshional Convention, where we can finally rewrite the Juegen Constitution to reflect the modern world. Dan, what would you suggest?

Well, we got to make the emoluments clause a lot clearer. Okay. We probably need to make it start from the top. We got to make it okay. We got to make it clear that no one's above prosecution, including the president of the United States. Well, okay. Well, I don't know. President of the Dweegen's. Yeah, let's remind you again. This is about the Dweegen. I'm sorry. It's not a Dweegen. It's over the president of the United States. It would be interesting if Dweegen law had power over the US government.

I mean, America won't even give the international criminal court jurisdiction. The idea that we're just going to accept Dwaygan's rolling in and telling us how to run our business seems pretty unrealistic. Let's just say that. But anyway, the Dwaygan... You know, wishful thinking. Yes. The Dwaygan strived back the the thieves with their potatoes and then Sophia zaps them with electricity from her guitar, which is a power I didn't know she or anyone had, which

is after this after they shrunk the thieves. Yeah, they're all in Dweegenland now. Yeah. And so the thieves find a place that was mentioned earlier, which I thought was called Dargen's Hell, but it holds prisoner, a guy named DeVargen, who is a bad guy, Dwigan, who loves gold, and they free him and his cronies in exchange for his help. And this is what, you know, it's a good movie when the ultimate bad guy is introduced 20 minutes before the end of the film.

And suddenly the movie becomes about stopping him when you've never known this character existed before. Dan, tell us about DeVarion. How did he strike you? Was he the one that looked kind of like a dragon? Yes. Like a dragon who wore like a chainmail shirt. Really? Really big impression on me since I had to ask that question about him. I mean, he's literally the big bad villain of the movie.

And he's about the same size as... He's about the same size as the dad character, right? I get once the dad shrunken down. Yeah, not, not, that would be crazy. If he was like six feet tall, that now the dad does, so DeVargan, everyone's afraid of him. And they start setting up defenses. DeVargan takes forever to get to the rest of the Jouiggins. The Jouiggins, they're shooting back as potatoes.

Everyone's fighting. The dad actually punches DeVargan so hard that he knocks him down and then runs away. So it's like, why don't you just press the attack against DeVargan? It seemed like you could just kick him in the head until he was gone. But there's only one way to stop DeVargan.

And by that, I mean two ways. One, throw oil and bees at him, which they do. And then have your computer, Jouigan, get in touch with the Chinese Jouigan land, which then teleports a robot to them that has force field breath that traps all the bad guys. And now guys, let's take a minute to talk about Jouigan land China, which is mentioned once very clearly in the movie. Yeah, it is. And I was set it up. He did. That's what he said. Yeah, what's that up for? You can Yeah, it is. And I'm excited up. He did. That's what you said up. You can just say Robert McKee is just sitting there not and going, yes, you did the work. Yes, I accepted.

Now, Julian Land China, I thought I was going to throw away joke, but it turns out there's Julian lands all over the world. And the Chinese Julian land somehow feels both like they're pandering to the Chinese market and being racist in a way that I can't quite, it feels like a racist pander and not of course. And by pandering to the Chinese market, I'm not talking about pandas, but with a Brooklyn accent and saying pander. That's not what I'm doing. I'm talking about. Yeah. They didn't have one doegin who looked very bootle like. Yeah, true. And that was the part that made me feel uncomfortable with the whole concept. Because the reason I made Dan uncomfortable

is because he's like, if they look like caricatures of Chinese people, does that mean the American tweegans are meant to look like us? Is this what we look like to the rest of the world? Yeah, it tore open my brain. Yeah, and Dan Poetleware is at his scrottle chin and watched it jiggle in the mirror. My God, we are tweegans, aren't we? I do like how the Chinese tweegans use computers with multi-fingered metal hands,

like the computer operators in Ghost in the Shell. Yeah, so they can type more keys at once. It's a weird moment. And most of the, if you watch the credits, most of the people who worked on this movie were Chinese. Like everyone who worked on it in a technical capacity, it seems was Chinese. So it's like, well, what did they think about this scene or were they did they love it?

Anyway, so the movie ended the way it, the only way it could by Chinese dewegan's turning their sending a robot to them that traps the bad guys with force breath. The dewegan celebrate with how else, Sophia's rock and roll show, Missy and dad dance and kiss, and there are fireworks that erupt that spell Juegans, as if to remind the Juegans who the fuck they are. Here's the thing I learned about this movie. Juegans love Juegans, and they love talking about Juegans. Like, there's no subject they care about more than themselves.

But the mobsters are still in the house. Luckily, the Juegans stop them almost instantly. They return the Prague son to the museum. And the mobster is on TV being arrested, and he's shouting to the grandma going, Grandma fits, call me, call me, and to the copy go, stop pushing me, stop pushing. Hey, call me, stop pushing.

And it was the one moment in the movie I laughed genuinely. I thought it was kind of funny that this the way he was delivering the line was like, stop pushing please. But the inn is now all booked up. They're famous, and everything is great. And as the credits roll, Nozy starts yelling things at the audience and you think this is gonna be a runner

but I think they ran out of stuff for him to say. He only does it twice. And the credits roll over the original production art and design art for the movie. Which is all terrifying. Which looks horrifying. And you see sculptures they must have made of the juicies. Yes.

And they're so frightening. And for a moment I thought that it was like in a movie, like I thought for a moment that it was like the room where they're like, we showed you the fake versions, no, I'm sorry, disaster artist. Where they're like, we showed you the fake room, now we'll show you the real room. And for this one moment I was like like, wait, are we kids real?

And I was so frightened. But luckily, they're just hideous statues that I hope somebody finds and males to us that we can use them to scare each other while we're sleeping. Yeah, as we create our own gear, Mildel Toro style museum of craft. Museum of craft. Some things that just should not be realized

in three dimensions. Now, I wasn't, I was a little bit bummed about in the final confrontation against DeVargan. A reveal that his real name is like Dennis or something. I think it's Darryl. Darryl or something. And they make a point of like taunting him and teasing him with that name. And I'm like, dude, why all the bullying? Right?

Yeah, very fair. Why do you have to sink like why do you have to sink to that level? It's just shoot him with a potato gun. As as Nietzsche once said, when we hunt for devarghans, we become devarghans ourselves, which is true. It's just true. They're no better than the bad guy at that moment. Now, during the fight with DeVarion, much of Dweegenland is destroyed. And the Dweegens don't seem to mind that much. And I was like, oh, I get it. They're going to build a new Dweegenland to replace the old one. And everyone's going to be happy. No, they don't. They don't care. It doesn't matter. Yeah, I mean, they're already living in garbage. Yeah. It's like this movie, it's like the movie, you know, sometimes when there'll be a movie

and they'll do a sequel to that movie that has a good creative team. And they just won't, they won't address the plot threads from the previous movie like the like the Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher Batman movies. Uh-huh. We are like, I guess this is supposed to be the same Batman, but like everything's different and the rules of the world have changed. That's what the scenes in this movie feel like. I feel like I was watching, like, it felt like I watched the entire Jouigan film series, but for movie to movie, they didn't care from one moment to the next. So things

just disappear. They happen to know and bothers. And every now and then, sure, you get a beautiful moment like Griso, the car loving Dr. Wigan, taking a hideously filthy bath in the sink while using the dad's toothbrushes, Alufa, which leads the dad to then sit down on the toilet and they two them just gripe to each other about how they respect them. The line, the line, tell me about it, Griso. So you do get great scenes like that, sure. Or the scene where the elderly de Wigan is lusting after the grandma from afar and just talking about how hot she is. You get, I mean, magic moments like that, but I guess it doesn't add up to a cohesive whole is what I'm saying.

I like, you mentioned before, but when the fireworks spell out Dweegins, you expect that to be the very last thing that happens in the movie. Like the fireworks go up and goes, Dweegins! And you're like, yay, Dweegins, the leprechauns, you skip out of the theater. But then there's a whole other sequence after the... You didn't even stop the mobsters at that point. Yeah, it's a little bit like if at the end of the Jason Seagalmuppets, there's that part where they throw, what's the new Muppets in after the end of the Jason Seagalm up it's there's that part where they throw what's the new

Muppets name Fred Timmy, Josh, Josh Walter when they throw Walter up in the air and it freeze frames on him. It's like if that happened and then they were like, but wait a minute guys, we've got to get to the funeral in time. And then they had to raise to like some care to you've never heard of. So you're like, wait, there's more of the movie like what's going on?

Oh, yes, Sam, the eagle died. We've got to we've got to go pay our respects. Oh, that's too bad symbolic to be on. Oh wow, Dan. You really bring in the political fender today Dan of all the muppet characters if one of them had to die and I mean for good. This is canon They're not coming back and story like like a like a mod flander type thing. Exactly. Who would you choose? Maybe I choose and don't say skater. Skater doesn't count. She's not canon. Right. Well, I mean, scooters are pretty good choice. Now that you mentioned it, but maybe that bunny, the bean bean. Oh, yeah, bean bunny would be a quality. Yeah, I could see that. Nobody would miss him, but it would have, have heft. What would you say Stuart? Who's, who's Gonzo's chicken girlfriend? Camilla.

You can't kill Camilla. And then, and then Gonzo gets super fucking dark, right? So you're, you're fridging Camilla's. Yeah, I'm gonna fridge Camilla. Oh, boy. What's Zack Snyder's Muppets? No, no. There's gonna be a lot of shots of Ganzo sitting on,

sitting next to some Gargoyles in the rain, not Gargoyles, the characters, Gargoyles, the stone things. But maybe one of them comes to life and talks to him. Sure. I mean, they're puppets. Why not? Yeah. Now, now, uh, I did you have an answer, Elliot?

Oh, that's a janna. I just want to steal all our good ideas? That's a matter. Okay. Or no, you know what? Or maybe that, uh, uh, who's that weird, that Android puppet from Muppets tonight with the crazy. I mean, I think it's great that you guys are choosing characters to die that have no narrative consequences.

I think that's great. No, Stuart, I admire the risk you took by killing off the closest character to Gonzo, really hurting that care. Okay, fine, Fuzzy. I'll kill Fuzzy then. What do you guys think? Oh, God. What a tragic end. Yeah, deal with it. And you know how he died? No, on stage. Yeah, but it was a drug overdose. Okay. Oh man. Forge. It's a real so he's basically the movie Lennie but with Fuzzy. We should give our final judgments about this movie whether it's a good bad movie a bad bad movie or a movie can't Yeah, because by now, you're gonna be surprised. He's shocking reversals Stewart what do you have to say guys is a bad bad movie

Sometimes people like watch the movie before listening to the episode. If I I'm going to send out all the energy I can for people to not do that. I know that if you're already listening and you've done it, you have you are like, you know, yeah, you you're already mad at me at this point. I I'm going to put it I did fall asleep for like a little bit in the middle. But as it's... So snorifying, so it's snorifying is what you're saying. Shocks over. But I have it as a marginal good bad because it's so baffling. Like it is like nothing you'll ever see and sometimes that's interesting.

Yeah, I would say horrifying. Even though don't watch it on your own. I implore you please if you watch on your own make sure you have somebody come check on you in like 20 30 minutes. Yeah, this is so I would say to watch it on your own it's the worst worst bad movie. To watch it with another person, it could be an interesting, you know, you know, masochistic experiment, you know, to see just how far you can go, it's terrible. But yeah, to watch it, it's like an acid trip.

Like don't do it on your own, because you may never come back and then just be an empty husk. And all you'll be able to say is, juig off, juig on, juig off, juig on. And they'll say all he's muttering is gibberish, and they'll take you to the real juig in, Arkham Asylum.

Whoa. Mm-hmm. I'm Baylif Jesse Thorne, and justice is within your reach. My mom refuses to take my phone calls. My boyfriend says I should take our cats with me to graduate school, but I think he should keep them. And the Court of Judge John Hodgman, Justice Rules. My partner's board game collection is out of control.

My sister won't stop stealing my clothes. I'm Judge John Hodgman. I'm tough, but fair. I'll bring you justice, and I'm only a click away. Tipping. Automotive etiquette. Sibling. Room mitt.

If you've got a case, go to MaximumFund.org slash JJHOM. Judge John Hodgman is tough, but fair. I'll be fair. Subscribe to the podcast today. Judge John Hodgman rules. That is all. Hi, I'm Ali Kertz. And I'm Julia Prescott, and we're the host of Everything's Coming Up Simpsons.

On every episode we cover, a different episode of The Simpsons that is a favorite of our special guests. We've had guests that are showrunners and writers and voice actors like Nancy Cartwright. So I got a D-mon, as I passed. And we've also had people that are on the Max Fun Network already. Homer wearing that golf outfit is so funny. And when he gets super into golf, he's wearing the golf hat in bed.

He's fed. We've had weird out-y Incavic on the show. I'll just strip by how sharp the writing is. I mean, that's no surprise because it's a Simpsons, but I mean, you can't say that a lot of TV shows, particularly ones that at that point have been on the year for 14 years. Find us on MaximumFund.org iTunes or wherever

you get your podcasts. All right, smell you later. So we should move on and thank our sponsors before going too much further. And our first sponsor is the Dweegin. Oh no. The first sponsor, the flop house is supported in part by Amazon Prime Video channels. Prime Video channels is an Amazon Prime Benefit members can use to access great entertainment instantly. Why not create a TV lineup you love from 100 plus premium and specialty channels like

Showtime, Stars, HBO, CBS, All Access, and more? You can start a free seven-day trial of any of the channels you have not tried yet. Only pay for the channels you want with Prime Video channels. Start your free trials of over 100 channels by visiting tryprimechannels.com slash flop. So that's a new sponsor for us. No, that's great. And I wonder, Dan, could you watch this movie on there?

In fact, in fact, if you have Amazon Prime already, you can see Dwee guns and Leopard guns, free of charge. It does not exactly the same thing as channels, I believe. But yeah, if you have Amazon Prime, Dwee guns and Leopard guns is right there for the snacking. Yeah. But yeah, I love the idea of being able to choose what I want to watch without being tied to Lamo cable. Because, you know, hey, hey, that's not what drive down cable we've been asked not to. The advertiser. Well, you should tell me these

things ahead of time. I actually like cable a lot. And I think, you know what? Try out Amazon Prime channels, guys. I like cable too, because he's like from the future, right? He's a metal arm. Well, he was born in the present, but he was sent to the future. And then he came back. Isn't it always somebody's present, though?

I guess so. But I guess he's from the future in the same way that somebody who like moved to England when they were 10 is from England. It's like, I guess so. But you spent the first 10 years of your life in Kansas City. Okay. And what a time it was. Yeah. Our second sponsor that helps us keep things going here is Green Chef. second sponsor that helps us keep things going here is Green Chef. Support for the Flophouse comes from Green Chef, a USDA certified organic company that includes everything you need to easily cook delicious meals that you can feel good about.

Meal plans include paleo, vegan, vegetarian, keto, gluten-free, omnivore, and carnivore. Each ingredient is thoughtfully sourced and is journey tracked from planting to plating. Let green chef do the meal-planning grocery shopping and most of the prep for you week after week. For $50 off your first box of green chef, go to greenchef.us slash flop house. Yeah, if you got a case of the hungaries, hit them up. Now, guys, I had Green Chef for dinner last night. Really? How did it work out? My wife and I had, it was sausages and mashed potato and vegetables. There was char on there. There was roast red pepper in there.

There was onions and and fennel. And I cooked it myself, which is something that I don't usually do because I can't cook. And you know what? It came out really nice. Yeah, I, you know, I've tried a bunch of these meal plans and one of the things I'd like to, like, if you have any experience with these kind of meal plans, Green Chef is easy to, is fairly easy to use, yeah. Yeah. Their recipes in particular are very

clearly written and have pictures on them, which for me, a visual learner who loves seeing, you know, stuff. That's what I tell people about you is that you like to see stuff. And they just give you what you need to see it on end up with any extra junk that you're throwing out or holding on to. Like, uh, what am I going to do with this extra little bit of ginger root? I don't have any use for this. I guess I'll keep it in my freezer forever until it turns into some kind of Groot-like tree thing. Wow. Groot got pretty hard. I was thinking, oh, no, we're imagining. Yeah, I was thinking this was new reimagining. Yeah, don't let that happen to you. Get the green chef.

Yeah, Groot got really mad because he was also dating Camilla. So that really hit him hard too, yeah. Did you have, that's the end of the sponsors, but did you have something you wanted to say, Elliot? I did, Dan. I did have something to say. Now, people may be aware that I have a non-flop house related project coming out soon, October 30th, and I'd like to tell you about it.

Yeah. What am I, what am I getting my contributor's copy? Contributor? I mean, I will give you a copy of it, but let me just do my ad rate, please. Dogs and horses. For thousands of years, they've lived side by side. What have they ever actually met? Not until now.

And the results will surprise and entertain you, especially if you're a child. In Horse Meets Dog, the new book by four time Emmy award-winning writer, Elliot Kalin and illustrator Tim Miller, available October 30th wherever you buy books. Thanks Dan. So as I was finishing my ad read,

it seems like Dan opened up, were you just cracking a cube of a tray of ice cubes or something or what happens? Dan opened a beer and it spilled all over the place. Yeah, that ad read was too hot. Yeah, I thought, why don't you talk about, why don't you talk about our why don't you talk about, why don't you talk about our live shows

while I clean this up? You got it. Well, we've got two live shows in the future. First, we're gonna be appearing at, you guessed it, the place everybody's been asking us to go to, Earlham College in, where is that Stuart? Richmond, Indiana. Richmond, Indiana.

That's right. It's our first time at Stuart and Dan's Alma Mater. And it's gonna be pretty amazing. I'm gonna make them show me like what dorms they stayed at. And I wanna see all the places that they got in trouble. And anyway, but I guess that's the stuff. I'm gonna do it, Earl. I should tell you.

The place that Stuart and Dan got put on double secret probation. Yep, but I should tell you what you could do. What you could do is you can get tickets to see us November 3rd. That's a Saturday. It's 7 30 p.m. in the God or not. A tour. And it's part of Earlams artist and lecture series. We're both artists and we're lecturing and we're just going to do a live flop house episode. And are we saying what movie that we're watching yet or no let's say it? Let's just say it dude Dan rip this band-aid off Dan you want to announce what movie we're watching in Earl

Not he's struggling with his headphones, but I think I can be in the game What's the what's the movie we're doing for the Earlam show, Dan? I believe we just settled, we settled on, we just settled on. Jurassic Park, fallen Kington. Tragedy Kington. Jurassic, it's Jurassic World in Kington. So I, what I, I guess what I'm saying is Stewart, I apologize, that I didn't ask you to say what the title was. Since there were no less than three problems with my asking

to him. But we'll be seeing. So that's November 3rd Saturday in Irlam in Indiana. What's the name of that town again? Richmond, Indiana. Tickets are like tickets are only like $10 tickets are very cheap. So this is this is yeah, it's general admission. You don't have to be a student at Irlam. If you're anywhere in the area, I would advise going, we're gonna be talking about Jurassic World, fallen kingdom. It's gonna be super fun.

But hey, guys, that's not the only show we've got on the radar. We've got another show coming up in January. That's right. In January of 2019, it's coming faster than you think. It's the future people. We're gonna be at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. That's right. My sister's alma mater and my grandma's alma mater. You guessed it. You followed all the clues. All the clues. The place where my grandma was head of, I think the student socialist club, you know it. So anyway, that's gonna be Saturday, January 26th, 2019 at 8 p.m.

Tickets are not as cheap as at the Irlam show, but they're still a good price. And you get discount if you are a University of Wisconsin student. So if you are a badger, go see this show. I'm gonna make lots of jokes about badgers because that's what people from Wisconsin are so that's again November 3rd in

Earlum College in Richmond, Indiana and January 26th in Madison, Wisconsin at the University of Wisconsin Madison flop house live and We'll have more live shows hopefully pretty soon just two announce Now I want to clarify if you're a badger come if you're a honey badger, stay home, because I've seen some pretty disturbing videos about you on the internet. Yeah, they don't give shit. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's an oldie. That's an oldie. Yeah.

Yeah, Dan's, Dan's, Dan's been on the press of memes. Dan's like, Hey, but if that dramatic prairie dog wants to show up, that would be fun. Yeah. And let's not forget all your base along us. All your base along us, that's an old one. And I want to say a quick thank you to everyone who entered the contest from the last episode about tweeting about the flop house.

We have picked a winner and we'll be announcing what movie we're going to do in November from them when we know what movie that is Anyone everyone I want to thank you all for tweeting about us and please keep tweeting us about us with the hashtag flop house Please leave us some reviews on iTunes and all that stuff help us spread the word of this podcast because we Don't do a great job of it and we need your help We barely do a good job of this podcast because we don't do a great job of it and we need your help. We barely do a good job of the podcast. So, by the way, it's true. It's, I misspoke earlier,

it's obviously all your base are belong to us. I don't want people to be tweeting me. What did you say? I just forgot the R. Oh. But, let's move on to. That's so good. You probably saved it. what did people who we say what do you say I just forgot the R oh But uh, no good so you probably saved it. Yeah, I'm there's gonna be fewer idiots in my inbox Oh, man, is this the flop house with Lewis black all of a sudden? Oh, man. No, I mean people calling me I got a real yo-simony Sam license plate next to me You guys better back off No, I mean people calling me. I got a real Yosemite Sam license plate next to me. You guys better back off. No, no, no, no.

Okay, so Dan, what do we do next on the show? Next on the show, we read letters from listeners. Listeners like you, if you wrote a letter. If you didn't write a letter, you're still a listener, but you're probably not likely to be responded to on the air. Oh, glad you made that clear. So if people are just listening to this and shouting at their iPod or shouting at their computer or whatever they listen to their podcast on, they're, they are S-O-L.

Yeah, they're, if they're just shouting at it, we're not going to hear you. You got to write it in a letter, dude. Yeah. Write it in a letter. This is from Elizabeth last name withheld. Hey, Elizabeth wrote it in a letter and that's how we can fly to her. Elizabeth, thank you for being a model for everybody else who wants to know how to get in touch with the flop house because there's just two ways.

Number one, write a letter. Number two, Write a Letter Number 2, Skywriting Wherever we happen to be, because we're always looking into those blue skies, reaching for the stars with our feet on the ground, and sometimes we found that there's writing in the sky, I don't mean constellations, those that aren't writing, that's more pictures, and by pictures I mean like three stars that some Greek jerk decided were a Pegasus. But can I see it?

No, it's the magic eye that never works. The sky. The stars and the biggest star today is Elizabeth. Thanks for writing Elizabeth. Okay, well Elizabeth writes, my husband and I are huge fans of all the work you do, but I'd like to take this opportunity to express our particular gratitude to our man Dan. A couple months ago we were sitting around discussing movie options when I told my husband,

maybe we should check out that stop making sense movie that Dan McCoy is always going on about. Previous short viewing of this movie, I would have described myself as a casual talking heads fan. But good lord, we were absolutely blown away. Within a week we had purchased the soundtrack on vinyl, car stickers, and tickets for David Burns upcoming store. We also watched Burns film True Stories, which we found absolutely goddamn delightful.

I don't think I've listened to anything but talking heads since I watched it, and when now without question called one of my favorite bands. I've never had such a immediate just hook it to my veins experience with a piece of entertainment before certainly not as an adult. My question for you guys is when was the last time you were truly gobsmacked by a piece of entertainment Elizabeth last name withheld. Oh man that's a good question. Can we define God's Mac? Yeah, yeah. And that's different from God's Mac, the band, right?

Because if I said God's Mac is my answer, that'd be hilarious. Now, I guess it would be. Now God's Mac could be used in a negative way. It could mean that you're like distressed, confused by something. But in the context of this letter, it's only a positive gobsmacking that we're looking for. Yeah, it's like a flip-take. It can be good or bad.

Yes, exactly. And in this case, it was, she was so gobsmacked by talking heads that she went out and did a bunch of talking head shit that like she wouldn't have done otherwise. So that kind of level of being engaged by a piece of pop culture. Sure. Dan, did she steal your answer? Are you going to say stop makes sense?

No, the only thing that I could think of was reading the Song of Ice and Fire books, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Stuart recommended them to me, and then I was a real ass and I didn't read I read like the Intro to one of them and I'm like not for me. I think you I think your specific words were that that the term wildling We're reminded you too much of younglings from Attack the clones or whatever. So you were like nope. I mean, it's more I mean, that's just more emblematic of like in general fantasy stuff doesn't do it for me. But then I saw a little bit of the show which I don't watch anymore,

but the show got me back into the books. And once I gave the things a second chance, I was like, okay, well, this thing that Stuart likes seems to be liked by everyone. And maybe I should pay attention to my good friend Stewart instead of scoffing at him. Yeah, what you said was, what basically what you said is, I don't trust Stuart enough to listen to him,

but the Howling Mob, which has given us such things as President Donald Trump, I trust to tell you what I should be. Yeah, but no, I feel bad, but I really tore through all the available books, which is stupid because now God knows that if any book ever shows up again, I'm going to not remember who anyone is because it's been so long. Oh, cool.

I'm probably going to do another live reading for my wife. So you can just attend those. I'll perch on your bed, bed, the head of your bed like a cat. Yep. Where I get to do voices for all the characters. L.A., do you have an answer? I have a couple different things I could talk about. Because lately, does it have to be pop culture

or can it be regular culture? I think it's just a piece of entertainment. Okay, I entertain, so, because like the thing that really affected me the most was when I finally read Orlando by Virginia Woolf last year, which just like as a book just blew me away in a way that I didn't expect. But there's some other things like I've been having, I feel like I've been having this kind of reaction a lot to things lately in the past couple of years or so.

There's a comic artist I like a lot named Tom Manning, and he has a new book out called Eric that really hit me over the head that I liked a lot. And there's this author Ann Leckie who has a science fiction series called The Imperial Rage series that starts with a book called Ancillary Justice that I thought was amazing. And there's another comic series called AMA, which is spelled A-A-M-A. That's by guy named Frederick Peters and I've been really loving that a lot.

So I don't know, guys, things have just been blown me away left and right. I don't know what to tell you. There's a lot of things that I like. Yeah, I was pretty blown away and affected by Call Me By Your Name last year. I felt like a pretty deep personal connection to it. And then I feel like for comics, there was a, I think when I read the second issue of Alan Moore's

Neo-Nomicon, a book I don't recommend anybody, and content warning is very difficult to read and has sexual violence, so watch out. But it was just like, it was horrifying in a way I had not experienced in a comic book before. So I was, yeah, and then I like went on to have to work a shift and I couldn't stop thinking about this horrible thing. And I kept like looking at my iPad that I had read the digital version on and I was like, that thing's bad. It's like, I remember Stuart, after you read, I remember you telling me you were like, it's certainly scary. I don't know that I recommend it. And I'm like Hamilton. Like I feel like I was like, I wanted to Hamilton not knowing what I was about to see. I was like, it's a history wrap.

And then coming out of it like in tears and like feeling moved by theater in ways that I kind of hadn't been. So. This is the next letter. It's from John last name withheld. Stuart, our old boss. Hey, John, how you doing? Hey, Elliot.

Is this a letter about what like farming? What does he do now? He owns an animal farm. Yes, it's where it's a classic animal farm. There's snowball and Napoleon hangout. Yeah, the pigs run the place. I always felt like snowball got a rough, rough deal. I don't think so. I think so, too.

Yeah, that's my take. I think he might have picked up one or two things from that book, man. Yeah. Hey, you know who didn't turn out the best in that book, The Horse? Oh, yeah. Anyway, John Lassney with Heldrights,

Greetings, Elliot. I'm a children's librarian, and I was very excited to hear about your upcoming children's book. But now I'm wondering, what are your some of your favorite books to read to your son? Myself, I'm a big fan of Mo Wombs, and consider there's a bird on your head to be one of the great classics of Western literature. It is a great book. Not to leave Dan or stew out, let me ask them, did either of you have

a favorite picture book as a child? Many thanks, Sean, last name withheld. Thanks Sean, last name withheld. So yeah, my favorite picture book is the Dark Knight Rises, dude. Wait, what? Frank Miller, baby. Okay. That's a movie. No, that's the movie.

I don't fucking remember. I mean, in a way, guys. In a way, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys myself on the mercy of the court, but I think I'm right. So Dan, what's your favorite picture book with like Karl Barck's duck book probably? I did read those over and over again as a child and as an adult now. But no, I was thinking about the book that I actually sent your new child. Oh yeah, you sent me. What's it called the Museum of Everything? It's a Sesame Street book. actually sent your new child. Oh, yeah. What's it called the Museum of Everything? It's a Sesame Street book.

Yeah, it's like Grover in the Museum of Everything. Everyone remembers Grover. There's a monster. There's a monster at the end of the book. Yeah, which is a brilliant book. Yeah, it's great. It's wonderful. But there's another book that's done in the same style where it's the museum of everything,

and Grover goes from a museum room to a museum room, and it's like, the room for really big things, the room for really small things, like the room that has a carrot in it, like stuff like that. And then there's the room for vegetables that are not carrots. Yeah, it's very funny. It's, I don't know, it's just delightful. It's got that same sense of humor as the one that everyone knows. And it teaches a valuable lesson about the inability, the futility to create order at

F.K.O.S. Right. How we live in a universe that is essentially unknowable and yet we are really forced by our own fevered minds to try to apply some sort of logic and rationale to it, and we are obstructed at every turn. That's the message you wanted to give to my baby son, right? That's right. That's right. Do you have recommendations?

I do. There's two books I'm gonna recommend. I was called you a child owner. So weird way to put it. Yeah, but still pretty good. There's a book called Extra Yarn that's written by Mac Barnett and the artist by John Klasson. And I think it is one of the best picture books that's ever been produced. Like the writing is beautiful, the art is beautiful, but it's super simple and it's very funny, but it's also very warm, but without,

unlike really an awe of how they were able to pull it off and construct it and it's a book that I've done a lot of studying of to try to help me with children's book writing. So that's the one, I think extra yarn is like one of, if not the best, children's book of the last, I don't know, however long, you know, 10 or 20 years, in my opinion, and I read it to Sammy quite often,

and I'm looking forward to reading it to my second son as well. And eventually to my seventh son, who himself will have a seventh son, and that will be a wizard. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Oh, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be great out. But I also say, you know what's a great picture book? It's called to be great. But I also say, you know what's a great picture book? It's called Horse Speed Stog. It's written by me, Art by Tim Miller, comes out October 30th, buy it wherever books are sold. And, oh, you know what? When I get the, if I have any, I'm going on a book tour for it in early November, right

after our Irlam show. And if the dates involve actual stores, I'll mention them on a future podcast so that people can come see me. But some of the dates are just gonna be school visits. Sorry adults, kids rule, adults rule. That's true, I mean, it's right, yep. Especially when they're sleeping, yeah.

This next letter is from Jack last name withheld. He writes, a friend of mine was recently in an improv comedy show in which they performed an original movie based on a title given to them by the audience. The title shadowed it then by me was, of course, catch that kid. They gave a terrific performance, perhaps worthy of the flop house. I have a transcript of the performance written up and I'll take $700,000 for the rights.

Here's a list of elements from the script in case you're not already convinced. Yeah, very fair. A creepy carnival for lost children, a sewer detective who has been to New York. A sewer that, cool. Wait, who has been to New York? Yeah.

The sewer detective, the alligator partner, an imagination hat. Okay. A man turns into a car Sure the Tissue of our kids name is Jeremy. I'm sorry a deadly dream game of Dodgeball. Oh, okay You're your weight your response you can make the check out to first name with held Alexander O'Brien last name with held Okay was improv Chattanooga. He says we should check out if we're ever in Tennessee past. Wow. The only Tennessee Dan wants the only

Tennessee Dan likes is the song by a rest of development. Dan, you're never going to be in Tennessee. Just say, okay, and then just don't do it. Yeah, I have seen enough improv comedy for three lifetimes, I think, at this point. What if Peter Sellers came back from the dead and was doing a show at UCB? It's a level one show. He just started taking improv lessons. Well, okay. Yes, I would go to see the late Peter sellers in an improv show. It used to be Tennessee, the balls in your court get Peter sellers.

Well, that sounds great. Good luck with the screenplay. Just keep checking your mailbox and the check will be there. And then have fun caching that at the bank. And this last letter is very fast. It's merely deer floppers. Who's your Huckleberry? Thanks.

Doc Lasting withheld. I mean, it's Doc Hollywood, right? It has to be. I'll tell you who my Huckleberry is. You two guys. I have two Huckleberries. Oh, that's nice. Dan and Stuart. Okay. Cool. I'll tell you who my Huckleberry is. You two guys I have two Huckleberries. Oh, that's really cool.

Dan and Stewart. Okay, cool. Well, I can't say the same for you. Well, this is exactly how we are. How dare you, sir. Yeah, I just I think it's weird that you sprung that on me like this and we should have talked about it off the air. Well, I mean, we could have if Dan ever told us the letters ahead of time. But I'm sorry, I didn't tell you about the Joe Cucklberry one. Dan refers to, first to one, keep the spontaneity of the show and two, preserve the laziness of picking the letters right before we record. And I think he likes the rare moments of emotional rawness that we just saw.

Yeah, so in fact, you know what? Fuck you, Dan, a fucking ghost doer. You're not my Huckleberries anymore. Oh, wow. D Huckleberry in you. What did I do? Well, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just,

I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, too fast. Now I'm gonna go back to my original Huckleberry, Danny Glover. Oh wow.

Yeah, we're very close. We settled at time together. Star of Pure Luck and Grand Canyon. Yup, my two favorite Danny Glover films I ask him about all the time. And I'll tell you what, when it comes to having fun, he's not getting too old for that shit. No, that's good to hear.

So let's go on to the next and last segment of the show. What do we recommend movies? Movies that you should spend your time on before you get around to Dwaygens and Lepricons. Yeah, we all have like limited time on this earth. You know, don't make the same mistake we did of wasting some of it on Dwaygens and Lepricons. Yeah, like when some of it on tweegans and leprechauns. Yeah, like when you are when you are lying on your deathbed and you're like, I wish I had more time to spend

Watching tweegans and leprechauns. I Only wish that someone had made a sequel so I could spend time with that We're just watching the first one again guys. I'm gonna find new stuff. a new stuff. You find new stuff. I'm going to turn into a video artist and my first installation is just going to be Dweegins and Leopardcans on a loop for 24 hours. Oh, that's cool. Played off of a movie projector or? Yeah, sure.

Oh, okay, cool. Just projected on a bowl of children's tears. That's right. That's right. I've already gotten into the trouble with a lot of parents groups, a lot of police officers about making children cry so much that I can collect a whole bowl of their tears. But you just keep running around, shout, and snake kills dumbledore. And nothing's sadder than that. Yeah. Movie recommendations.

Should I start? Is that what's happening? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I don't know. You offer. You're the boss. Mona's the boss. I've only covered that.

Well, how is Mona the boss? She doesn't tell anybody what to do. She's a joke with her own family. I doesn't tell anybody what to do. She's a joke with her own family. I think she tells everyone what to do all the time. But they don't listen to her. You're not an Angela is the boss because she pays the bills. I guess. I don't know. I feel like that's, that's a, like a vague definition of bosses. I mean, it's like the basic, most basic foundational definition of boss. I mean, maybe's like the basic, most basic foundational definition of boss. I mean, maybe in your capitalist culture, I'm looking back in my letter box records

to see what movies I watched. It's just you're looking back in the letter box records to see who the boss was. Just say Angela. If you say Jonathan, you're off the podcast. Or say Tony, if you want, because he holds a sort of sexual power over Angela That's part of Mona's attraction that why she's the boss. No, but she's a slave to that power too Dan you got to you got to settle this who's the boss? My boss

No come on okay, Dan. What's your movie that you're recommending or store do you have a lot of go through your letter what's off line memory i'm just i'm waiting for the like i know dan's got a good one look at his face it's not a good one i've got a real good one such a long both up that uh... dan if you see any movies in the movie theater

no i'm it's a good, but it's not a surprising choice. I guess what I should have said. Okay. Some time ago now, because we take a while off recording for reasons that we've all recorded on the spot gas before. This is necessary back story. Now, Dan, just for context, I'm gonna recommend a movie from 1985, and I am not gonna bother explaining why I'm waiting till now to recommend it.

So don't feel like you need to tell people why you're recommending it now. Okay, it's just that this is a movie recently in the theater, Black Clansman. I thought maybe the movie I've enjoyed and thought was the most important this year. I don't know, I, it's really fun. It's a great movie. Yeah, I feel like there's not a lot to say about it at this late date because it's been out and people have talked a lot about it.

But what struck me about it was how funny a lot of it was, it's dealing with a lot of heavy issues and upsetting themes, but the story of the movie as fictionalized as it is lends itself to a lot of comedy throughout the film. And then at the end of the movie, the movie says, remember how you were enjoying yourself, and it punches you in the stomach, and you walk out crying. But in a meaningful way. Yeah, I think the important way. The juggles tone really well. Yes.

And the actress who plays the evil racist wife, Ashley Atkinson, is super lovely and drinks in my bar a lot. So come to Hinterland's and see her be much nicer than she is in the movie. Yeah, inviting people to stalk someone who comes to your bar. Oh, yeah, don't stalk. Don't stalk her. She's very nice. Okay. So start one movie. You're gonna recommend. Oh, man. I could let me reach into my big bag of movies I watched recently. I mean, I guess an easy one. I just went and saw Mandy, the Nicholas Cage psychedelic freak out from the director of Beyond the Black Rainbow. It's a movie that features some super classic Nicholas Cage, like maniac acting.

It's got an amazing score. It's the kind of movie that I feel like you wouldn't, I mean, people say this a lot, but like it's a sort of movie, it's playing in a limited release in theaters. And if you get a chance, you should see it, because for one, you're not gonna have a chance to see super fucking weird movies like this in the theaters that often and it's weird in that it has a very straightforward relatively simple premise but the story is told

strangely and I mean it's we don't get to see Nicholas Cage starring in movies in the theater that much anymore right? That's true. Most of the time if you to see Nicholas Cage starring in movies in the theater that much anymore, right? That's true. Most of the time, if you're seeing Nicholas Cage, it's on video on demand. So it's really great. Yeah, and also just the score of this movie, which was the, I think the composer, like, Johann Johansson. I think this is either his last movie that he scored

or one of the last movies he scored. He just passed away. And it's really incredible and impressive and great. And I mean, this is a movie that does feature Nicholas Cage getting in a chainsaw fight with another guy. And there's a certain breakout star in the middle of the movie that I don't wanna spoil for anyone, but man, yeah, go check out Mandy.

I really want to see that. I want to see both of those movies because I haven't had a chance to. I'm going to recommend, as I said, a movie from 1985. That's right. The year David Kaelin was born, my brother. Happy birthday. It's not a birthday, but it's his birth video. Wait a minute.

He's only 33. Yeah. Woof. It's not a birthday, but it's his birth video. Wait a minute, he's only 33. Yeah. Woof. Oh, it's horrible. Woof. Anyway, I'm gonna recommend it's a Japanese movie called Tempopo.

It's directed by Jusoi Tommy. And it is a really funny movie and a really weird movie. It's about these two truckers decide that they're gonna help a woman who runs a ramen bar to become the greatest ramen chef she can be. And much of the movie is about making noodles and cooking noodles. But then there's also these kind of short sketches basically that pop up every now and then that are kind of about people's relationships with food and how food is, how people deal with it from a sensual point of view, but also

from a social point of view. And it's just like, it's one of these movies that you never are quite certain exactly what's coming along. And even like the score is really funny, the way that like this very, it's very dramatic music for a movie about a woman who is learning how to cook noodles. And it's just a really, I really enjoyed a lot. I thought it was a really good movie and it looks great. And you've got a young Ken Watanabe in a pivotal supporting role.

And so I would recommend it. Tampo-po, if you want to see a movie about two truckers teaching a woman how to cook noodles that's much funnier than that sounds, then go for it. Deal with it. I mean, I feel like every movie that I go to the theaters nowadays, I'm just sick all these truckers teaching noodle making movies. If you want to learn more about the ramen process than you ever thought you wanted to know, that's a reason to watch it too.

I think that Stewart does want to know a lot about the Rom and do. Yeah, I love Rom and do. I'm crazy for that shit. Oh, then this is the movie for you. It also has, it also has one of the weirdest sex scenes I've ever seen in a movie. So you might like that too. If it involves Rom and it's not that weird.

I feel like it's pretty natural. Yeah, just do it the Rom and do. I kind of would like if, you like, if I had to go, I mentioned in the past that if I had to die violently, I wanted to- You do have to die, hopefully not violently. But if I had to die violently, I would want to be devoured alive by a critter ball,

rolled over by giant ball of critters, like in critters two. But I think a close second is filling a, like a kitty pool with ramen and drowning me in it, kind of like that scene in dead or alive where they drown that young woman in a kitty pool full of excrement. Okay. But not actually. I mean, I want ramen instead. I don't think like I needed that comparison.

I understood perfectly what you were saying without comparing it to that movie. I feel like I need it. I feel like the needed that comparison. I understood perfectly what you were saying without comparing it to that movie. I feel like the reference helps people. I just saw the look of understanding Dawn on LA. It's very nice. I had a real trouble visualizing it. And then you mentioned the scene where she drowns next to her man.

And I was like, oh, I got it. I get it now. Okay. Yes. Makes sense. I thought it was necessary. Okay. Yeah, so cool. Let's sign off.

Let's do that. There's a lot of great. As visions of Kitty Pools filled with X-Krimin, damson, aren't there? Yeah, uh-huh. Remember to go over to maxmaximalfund.org, listen to a bunch of other podcasts that don't have things about Kitty Pools filled with excrement in them.

I mean, you won't know till you listen, really. Yeah, I mean, that's part of the joy of podcasts. Yeah, stop podcasting yourself this week is all about Kitty Pools filled with excrement all the sudden for some. I mean, yeah, you know, those guys. But enjoy that. And for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington.

I'm Elliot Kaelin saying, tweet about us, review us, whatever you want to do. Take the flop house and put it in your outside world life because you know what, you need it, we need you, and together, maybe, just maybe, just maybe. You start trying to come up with a lot. You start in the end to the sentence. I'll think of an end to, maybe, just maybe,. He's got an end to the sentence. I'll think of an end.

Maybe, just maybe, I'll think of an end to the sentence. All right. Thank you guys. See you later. Bye. Bye. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Now, if there are any scenes that I don't mention

that you want to bring up, go ahead and bring them up. And to wrap up. I think they've already escaped my brain as a fever dream. Because if you wanted to, if you want to bring up, go ahead and bring them up. And to think they've already escaped my brain as a fever dream. Because if you wanted to, if you want to talk about part where the dad walks in and Griso is using the dad's toothbrush as a lufa. That is 100%.

Why would we not, that was like the best scene in the movie. Okay, well, well, maybe I'll mention it. I can't do this. What do you guys do, it's the best part. For the scene where the elderly juicun is lusting after the grandma from afar. Yeah. You know, let me know if you want to mention these. Just bring them up.