The Flop House - Ep. #271 - Death Wish

Episode Date: November 24, 2018

Why is Bruce Willis starring in an NRA recruitment video? Wait, this is a MOVIE? Are you sure? We talk about Death Wish. Meanwhile, Elliott writes the horror movie "Dr. Sleepypants," we get insight into Stu's endless Critters gifs, and Dan shows off his kaleidoscopic character work, during pie talk. Wikipedia synopsis for Death Wish Movies recommended in this episode: The Old Man & the Gun A Star is Born Shirkers LIVE SHOWS: The Flop House in Madison, WI on 1/26

On this episode we discuss... Death Wish. Not a suitable replacement for Viagra. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm saying the cool way. Watch out now, it's me Stuart Wellington. And here's Ellie Kaelen blown back by the sheer propulsive force of Dan's hello. Now what I expected since he was yawning, moments before. Well, I'm a real pro. I can turn it on for the, I was gonna say cameras, but there are any cameras here.

I'm just saying, wait until listeners, here comes the boom. Yeah. Dan's ready to roll. Yeah, the force of Dan's hello, blue, the leaf, LA was using to shield the rain off of his little head. Yeah. Brow doors, I guess? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm a mouse, yeah. Okay. Ralph S mouse? I mean, that's kind of what I implied, but I guess you can spell it out for the listeners, okay? Ralph Stewart Mouse. S answer Stewart Lil. I don't know.

Ralph Stewart Little Mouse. So a thing that no one has ever associated with me, all of my life. Oh, come on. I don't care. I don't care. It's fine. No, no, it's fun.

Have you often been made fun of, because people might think you're a mouse. Yes. Okay. I can see it. We got to the bottom of it already. We made it. Break through. Break through.

It's not your fault, Stewart. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. I can't control the actions of other people, but maybe if I just got a gun and just started killing them, now that may seem like a non-sequitur from Stuart, but it's not because Dan, what are we doing this podcast? Well on this podcast, we watch a bad movie and we talk about it. And today we're huddled in a holiday and to talk about huddled in a huddled day in

If we were an actor would be Tom Huddleston We're here to talk about death wish and we might sound a little tired We just did a show in Irlam college rich men in Indiana last night. So I don't sound tired I sound normal Stewart sounds normal like a mighty lion I guess you always have said Oh Roasted by Dr. Sleepy Pants himself.

Oh, man. How much better would have been if we watched a horror movie called Dr. Sleepy Pants? Yeah, yeah. All we know about the killer is he wears pajamas and a surgical mask. Dr. Sleepy Pants is struck again. Uh-huh, and when he kills somebody goes, Right night. Oh, that was no.

You so tired. Wow, no, I'm all right, night. Oh, that was no. You so tired. Wow. No, I have this cold mel. And it's a lot of, and the, the, the, the, the, the, people diagnosed by where that accents come from. Yeah. The trailer has a little kids singing like, hush-a-bye, and good night.

Real creepy slow. Yeah. Yeah. So while we wrote that movie, I guess. I mean, if we were Kevin Smith, we would immediately leave and make that movie. Yeah, that's true. So today we reviewed, uh... Well, we have not reviewed it.

We reviewed. We're about to review. Okay. Uh, Death Wish, directed by Eli Roth. It's a remake of the Charles Baronson movie. On the 70s, which there was a whole death wish series. It starts the original. He is an architect whose family is killed on the mean streets of New York, and he decides

to take the long to announce his own hands to stop the killers and take anyone else. By the end of the series, he was like using bazookas to blow up drug lords. It got really crazy. I really remember that series. There's one where Christopher Gus shows up as like a medical examiner. Yeah, waiting for death wish. Yep. This one Bruce Willis plays the titular death wish.

Uh-huh. I don't know. Well, that's the real question is, who has the death wish in these movies? Yeah. As in the original Charles Robinson, I think it's kind of implied that he is hoping to get killed doing this because his life is empty now that his family is gone. Like, he must have a death wish. He's going to have, but these criminals also must have a death wish if they're going

to keep committing crimes when Charles Bronson is on the streets. But here, I'm not sure who has the death wish, guys. Yeah, I mean, everyone seems pretty committed to living. Maybe it was a little bit shoe. Maybe she had a death wish and she got her wish. It does. It does. It was a little bit, yeah.

It does. It was a little bit, yeah. Well, they're ishwish, too. Yeah. Okay. So let's talk about this movie. So the movie opens in Chicago. Chicago is in chaos according to the radio reports we're hearing as we watch a frankly beautiful

opening shot of this Chicago skyline that then hands into a police car driving along what Lake Shore driver something. It's a but according to this the radio reports Chicago's in chaos. Everyone in Chicago is being shot to death all the time. Yeah. On every street corner. What are we gonna do about it? The murder rate is sky high. We're like days away from a fucking Robo cop showing up. Mm-hmm. The only thing that's higher than the murder rate is one of their huge pizzas. It's essentially a cake filled with tomato sauce. Yeah, yeah, it's the kind of pizza

that you would sleep on and be like, I think there's a pee in here somewhere. I mean, I sometimes get a cast per deep dish where you open it from the box looks really little and you open it. You're like, that's reasonable. Expans into this enormous pizza. And you're like, that's not reasonable at all.

You're like, this is- But I'll still eat it because I'm sad. Ironically, the thing is, deep dish pizza isn't really, it doesn't seem like pizza, but it's much more like pie than a standard pizza pie is. It's got a kind of crust outside and a filling. So that's our discussion topic today. What deserves to be called pie?

Pizza or deep dish pizza? Let's open up the phone lines. Let's hear Jackie from Chicago. Hello! What do you, Jackie? What do you have to say? Who's your dog in this fight? Oh, we've got more to get Always I'll try and screen those better. I'll get thanks. I appreciate it our next call. It's Joey from the Bronx Joey

What you're on the air? Yeah, hello Okay, Joey and then pizza talk it is it is this is Pizza Talk. I'm Pete and we're here to talk pizza. So deep dish or regular New York slice, which deserves to be called pie? I think the pie should only have four and 20 blackbirds in it and nothing else is a pie. All right, that's a hot take from a fairy tale or nursery rhyme.

And we've also got on the phone talking about pie. It's Darren Aronofsky. Darren Aronofsky, you're taking on the pie situation. I think it catapulted me to greater success. All right. Well, that's B2's the talk. Going back to it, now we are now turned to the flop S, our normal programming, which has been interrupted. So anyway, Chicago is in danger. And a cop is shot. Bruce Willis is a surgeon. He cannot save that cop's life.

But then he has to go save the life of the animal that shot him. Now, the cop, the cop's partner is mad. He goes, so you can't save him, but you'll save the animal who shot him. And for a minute, I was like, guys, what is a tiger shot him? Like, what if it was a literal animal?

Yeah, like in play dogs, or the dog steps on the go next day. Bruce Willis is like, well, you shouldn't take into your partner to a veterinary hospital. I'm much better at curing animals. So let me go heal the giraffe that shocked your partner. But that's not what it is. Bruce Willis we find out he has a lovely family. He lives in a nice rich man's house in Evanston, Illinois.

Yeah, my brother's college northwestern. He's married to Elizabeth Shoe. Who's a welcome face star of adventures in babysitting my brother's college, Northwestern. He's married to Elizabeth Shoe, who's a welcome face. Star of adventures and babysitting, my favorite movie. And leaving Las Vegas, Dan's favorite movie, he calls it hilarious. And the St. Eliot's favorite movie. I love it. The part where they stopped that one scene just so we can talk about how great his watch

is, wonderful. Is that the same? Yeah, there's some part in it where he's like meeting us and other spying the sewers and they take a moment to talk about how great their watches are. So weird movie. So he has a daughter who is going to college, she also plays soccer and he has a life with shoe who's going for her PhD in subject unknown. It's never said because that's as much character as she gets. And we're and we have a scene probably in piranha fighting. If the last move has all of us with the shoe

and is in the indication, piranha 3. Yeah. And there's a scene where they're all having dinner with Bruce Willis's brother Vincent de Nafrio. And I wonder, do they talk about adventures in babysitting a lot? Is there both in it? Vincent de Nafrio.

Vincent de Nafrio. They play Thor, Thor guy. Right. So probably, yeah, I mean, they have their reunions Is there both in it? That's a lot of reasons. I'm afraid. I'm playing Play Thor. Right. So probably, yeah, I mean, they have their reunions every month of the babysitting cast. So, here's the thing. Where they sing the babysitter, some blues or whatever. Yeah, exactly.

So, Bruce Willis, let's just get one thing straight. He's had a long, storied career in both film and television. Very talented. He has reached this level, this era in his acting. He's had so many resurgences. And now he seems to resemble to me nothing more than like an elderly egg that occasionally looks at things and does not find it in his interest to a moat about great life. So, for the first half of this movie, you're like, is this movie about someone who's

in such a deep depression that they can't relate to their family because he seems to not be in the same movie that they're in? Yeah, he is the expression of Saitama from the one punch man comics who just looks like an egg. Dan, do you have an egg reference? No, well, he is the Eggman. He is the Eggman. He is the Eggman. I am the walrus. Goo-goo-goo-ju-chur.

He also kind of looks like if all the facial features of the baylet conform to make a human-style face instead of being all over the egg from the berserk comic section. Yeah, yeah, sure. I mean, I think he just looks like someone painted a face on an egg, but you know, and then the egg got real lost. I think more complicated, right?

It's super appropriate. There's a reason that in China, he's, he's billed as 1000 year egg. Yeah. So delicious. We know that Bruce, maybe since the Bruce Willis is so beaten down by our modern demasculomy society, because as we've

see when his daughter is playing soccer, another dad is being very loudly a big. Super aggro at the players. Totally alphas with Yeah, and he tells him he tells him don't hey, stop swearing and the guy threatened him to a fight and Bruce Willis like the beta cuck he has become does not fight him. When I guess the movie isn't blind that the main thing for him to do would be to rip his head off with his bare hands and use it as a soccer ball. I did expect the movie to return to this character at some point.

Once Bruce Willis became like tough guy Bruce Willis, like there'd be like a reckoning. Yeah, I like a book and scene where they're both trying to happen. Same video with the video store and he's like, you take it. You take this copy of Death Wish to. Instead, he's, we just doesn't do it. He used to fight as a young man. He reveals.

He was a scrapper. He was a scrapper, but he since mellowed out. He has a perfect family. His brother Vincent and Offeros are a bit of a narrow duel, always asking for money, always a little bit on the shady side of the law, but hey, what are brothers for? But he's bringing that Vincent D energy. So you're like, I love it. He's got to be the baddie. Yeah. And I run that that Vincent D. Energy. So you're like, I love it. He's got to be the baddie. Yeah.

And I run that late Vincent D. Yeah. Hey, he loves, she wants the D. Denavrio. Yeah, more on that later because the moment he enters, we thought it was one of those scenarios where we're like, well, obviously he's the bad guy. But is he the bad guy? Question mark. You'll have to listen to the more about death wish to find out one night while Bruce Willis is out at his round. He was supposed to go out for a birthday dinner at La Fonda with his family to have their famous trace led chase cake, which they talk about so many times in the movie. And then later we see him eating it by himself. You got to have this cake. He's like, it doesn't have just who know let's say or dose let's. Yeah, they're trace led chase in this cake. Now, Dan, yeah, you're confirming,

you're showing your bonafides of being a trace lece expert. After last night's late night dinner of a trace lece, pancakes. Pancakes. For some reason, we've fallen into probably a bad habit of having another full meal after a live show. And I had a huge stack of pancakes with caramel sauce on them. Not a good choice.

Three Lajas were represented. Now, you know that at some point, there's some madman, Chef, who's like, I'll do it. I will add the Quattro Lajas. And I'm like, no, no, no, it's impossible. You can't do it. No one can take it.

And it goes, there's like, don't do that. I'll get that, Ash. Oh, that's it's impossible. You can't do it. No one can take it. And it goes, there's like, don't do that. I'll get that, Ash. Oh, that's what it took. Yeah, yeah. And Mr. Mixick did like, no. So okay. But while he gets called into work, because the guy who's supposed to be on call is sick. So he's there, surging people up.

Meanwhile, a gang of thugs who seem to have gotten his address of his house from his car because of a valet that parts their car once and found the address in the car. They go and they rob the house and things go wrong. They end up shooting his wife and daughter. Oh no, the wife dies. The daughter is in a coma. And I thought the movie was gonna literally do that

the thing about, I can't operate on them. They're my family, but he tries anyway and fails, but instead he just doesn't do it. He gets there too late. He gets there too late. thing about I can't operate on them. They're my family, but he tries anyway and fails, but instead, he just doesn't do it. He gets there too late. He gets there too late. After his wife has her funeral, and then after the funeral, he's just driving around with his wife's dad, who I guess lives out in the country somewhere. He starts shooting at poachers. He starts shooting at some poachers with a rifle that keeps him strong. Because he's landed in gentry. He was like poachers. He starts shooting at some poachers with a rifle that keeps him from... Because he's landed, Gentry.

He was like, poachers. And they're going after a deer. Yeah. And it's like, wait, do you own the deer? Like, that's not... It's weird, like, I'm not a fan of hunting because I just don't like the idea of doing a blood sport in general.

Except unless it's blood sport with Sean Clark Van Dam. But deer are kind of a nuisance animal that he's like, no, no, they're shooting up my deer. Well, I mean, if it's not in season, I mean, that's kind of regulated for a reason. But yeah, the idea like, does he run like an animal preserve? Like what the fuck? Is he a deer farm?

Yeah, I mean, theoretically, he is a deer farm, but it doesn't seem like they're killing the deer on like a farming area. It's like killing of a sacred deer. I don't know. I would see that movie yet. Is he Norman Mailer and this is a deer farm? You're a bad thing, Dan. I don't know. I have no idea. What makes the deer sacred? It's been blessed by a priest. Oh, I mean, that's how things get sacred. I guess. So he, but he starts shooting at them and he goes and Bruce Willis doesn't talk about the police.

They think they can find these guys eventually. And the dad is like, people rely too much on the police. The police only come after the crimes happened. It's like, I'm adding more of an accent to him than he actually has. It's like trapping the fox while it's leaving the hen house. And it's like, well, yes, human beings, you have to wait till they commit a crime to arrest them. Like that's like, unless you want a minority beings, you have to wait till they commit a crime to arrest them. Like that's like, unless you want a minority report this, like that's how that's how reality

works. Yeah, maybe if we just had a gun pointed to everyone all the time, no one would make mistakes, Elliot. I think that is literally the platform of the Republic of Arty. But we shouldn't get to politics. Come on, this is death wish. How can we not get to politics? This is the most for just dropping goose politically stacked movie.

We also, there's a lot in this movie that's like, yeah, it's very, it's a very politically like trying to have it both ways, sort of movie. It feels a little bit like, we'll get to this, I guess, but like wild things, where with wild things, it was like, if you like it, it's because it's like a crazy thriller. If you don't like it, it's supposed to be goofy and stupid. Come on. And this is a little bit like if you agree with Bruce Willis, then you're going to love this movie. If you don't agree with Bruce Willis, we threw in a couple jokes about guns to like make it like we think we're really criticizing him. But this guy

is just, he's literally, he is the mission objective of the movie when he says this and he never appears in the movie again, but just like, people rely on the police too much to solve their problems. Okay, thanks old man with a gun. And you accept the minute you know that he then turns to Bruce Wilson goes, you heard of this pizza gate? Because the real pizza gate controversy is deep dish?

That's a pizza? Come on guys. Do you ever, no, we don't have any more collars. No, no, the lines have stopped lighting up. Wait, no, we do have one more collar. This man is, he calls himself L Caesar. Oh, okay. And he said he has something to say about pizza, pizza.

L Caesar, you're on the line. Pizza, pizza. All right, thank you. Wow, I guess that's the thing I've answered. Now we have a P. Johns on the line. P. Johns, give it a save up pizza also. I'd like to spout some racial slurs. Okay, cut off his mic.

Let's listen to that, Collar. And now it seems, X-Force assassin Domino has something to say about pizza. Oh, wow. Perhaps her name's a restaurant. Oh, that's quite a good. Hello, I'm not quite sure what my powers are. They're based around luck and profitability.

Oh, okay. Well, that seems weird. Because Domino's the game of luck. Yeah, give a chance. She's one of those characters where her power is that she, that reality just lets her do stuff. Mm-hmm. Kind of like Longshot, but she has all the normal amount of fingers. Mm-hmm. And that was your annual Longshot Domino differences review.

Okay. Next time we'll get into bone density. Oh, yeah. Longshot's got those hollow bird bones. Yeah. Okay. That's how we can do all those in bad flips. Uh-huh, and that's how they're like, oh, it's really Whitney, so may throw a long shot up in the air.

Oh no. So Bruce Wilson is seeing a therapist. He's very depressed. As anyone would be when your daughter's in a coma and your wife has been killed, he tries to drown his sorrows in that trace-letcher cake, but it's just not the same to eat it by himself. It tastes like ashes.

He feels he failed his family, and he says he's obsessed with the killers. He doesn't even know who they are. And he's obsessed. And every time he's driving by someone who looks like a bad dude, he notices like, is that it? Meanwhile, he talks to Dean Norris who is playing a policeman and Stuart, you had an interesting point about casting Bruce Willis and Dean Norris in the same move here.

I mean, they look very similar to this point that he careers. Dean Norris looks like the version who's's always on some kind of wacky diet. I mean, Bruce Willis looks like a chicken egg, and Dinos looks like an ostrich egg. I guess what you're saying? Yeah, both delicious. They both look like two polished stones that a rich person might have on a pillar in there, a lot of me, of that of their building. We are interested in Dinos as he tries to eat an RX bar as his sustenance and he

makes a bit face like, oh, this doesn't taste good. I wish I was eating man food. Instead, I'm feminized and I'm eating this bar. Yep. At this point, I feel like those bars are so associated in my mind, like working out and getting strong. And there's something more masculine to me about eating that kind of food. Yeah, it's good.

So much protein in it. Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh, you're maximizing your strength and your muscle power. Maybe he just doesn't like it because it's got eggs in it. It's like he's eating his own. That's probably a big part of it. Good point. Yeah. You know, there's a, I wanted to see it like if this was the Charlie Kaufman version, you'd have a scene where Bruce Willis has served an egg in a cup and his face appears on the egg.

So Dean Norris is like, well, we don't have any leaves, we're going to work on it. And they have a big wall of unsolved cases. Because as we know, just mentioned earlier, Chicago is a hellhole. It's full of chaos and gunfire all the time. Bruce Willis comes across some thugs committing a crime in an alley and he goes, Hey, stop that and they kick him a bunch of times. Yeah, they beat him up. They just beat him up. And, uh, but that gives him two ideas. One is that if he just walks around, he's going to find crimes. And two, he's not very good at being kicked in punch. He needs

to come up with a, he needs to bring a gun to a kick punch battle. Yeah, he needs a gun. And also he has his costume that he needs to put on. Oh yeah, he needs a sweatshirt. Yeah, he needs a don as cool outfit. So, which is honestly not that different than his outfit in the movie Unbreakable. It's the exact same outfit. Although in this movie he is very breakable.

Oh, that's true, yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's been broken by being what? Weaponized by the YouTube gun industry. Yeah, well, because mean, he's been broken by being what weaponized by the YouTube gun industry. Yeah, well, because he watches a video about guns and then he goes to the store, Jolly Rogers, that the video was like the video feels very much like a parody ad, right? Yeah, and there's a lot of like cartoon graphics that come up on screen. And the, the, the, the host of the commercial actually seems to be a salesperson at the store.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would disagree with what you're saying a little bit about the movie having in both ways because it does stack the deck so ridiculously in favor of this like conservative like pro gum ideal of like vigilante justice. But one of the places where it does is acting silly is this gun commercial where it's just like, you know what, if you're a liberal, you can kind of read this as like a parody of it. I'll lampoon, yeah.

And it's like a pretty girl shooting a gun and being like, this is what I love. I don't shoot to kill, I shoot to survive. Did it, did it, did it, do it, do it, do it. And he goes into the store. And he's like, yeah, me. All criminals are lawbreakers. Those criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot.

I shall take the form of and then a hooded sweatshirt smash his ass through the window. I play your guess egg gun smash into the window. And she's like, oh god, Chicago! She he goes to buy a gun, but it's just so much trouble. But it's not that much trouble. She's like, it feels like a parody of that. They will give you a gun and you'll take a class.

Every, she goes, everyone pass. And nobody fails. It's like, it feels like a parody of that. They will give you a gun and you'll take a class. She goes, everyone pass. Nobody fails. It's like, she's like, wink, wink, wink, it's easy to get a gun. Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink. Later on, we find out that he's doing this recon mission so that he can cover his tracks after he decides to not be of a gelani anymore. Yeah, well, he's, well,

I think he wants a gun there, but he's like, oh, it's too traceable. And yeah, he doesn't want his name on a paperwork. Luckily, a patient gets brought to him in the gunshot wound. He's like, I'll come up with a name. Bruno. Nobody else. That's so sweet, that would be me.

He's slitting people through the razor sharp harmonica. Yeah, cool. I mean, how amazing would he be? He fills up the harmonica and he blows in it and little trinked arts fly out. Yeah, yeah. Is it not? Some criminals are walking out on the street and then they just hear some harmonica music and look atinked arts fly out. Yeah, yeah. Is it not? Some like criminals are walking out on the street

and then they just hear some harmonica music and look at each other and start running. She's Bruno's coming. Then when he comes back to the store later on, the lady's like, oh, it's the return of Bruno. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. What a, what a money period this career that was. Like everyone has their Chris Gaines. And for Bruce Willis, it was Bruno. And for literally everyone. Yeah, yeah, sometimes, you know, we all have those moments where we stare into the mirror and deep in the darkness of our eyes, we see Chris Gaines staring back at us. When Billy Joel's song, The Stranger,

was really called the Chris Gaines. Yeah. We all have a Chris Gaines. Yeah. Camus, yeah, Camus novel literature was really called a legrous. So luckily a patient comes over the gunshot wound has a gun stuck in the waistband of his pants and it just falls on the floor and Bruce was like, check these Like that night or the next day or something. He's like, oh, this is handy. I was looking for a gun. So much of the movie is like god is Nudging Bruce Willis to kill people. And this is the first part. Bruce Willis practices with that gun. And we got a split screen montage of him saving gunshot victims as a surgeon and the same split screen practicing with the gun and like cleaning it set to the most tasteful

music they could find back in black. I'm not gonna say you got to put one foot in front of the only way it could have been more ridiculous as if it was I'm too sexy for like walk like a man. Dan you want to join in? He did the match. That would just be arbitrary. It's almost be turning a mirror on the movie itself. Like big ones that I can't out lot. Like that wouldn't make any sense. But it's at that point I feel like the movie is tipping its hands that it's like, oh yeah, fuck yeah, we're gonna see Bruce Will's folks do it so. Okay. He goes out, he stops a car jacking and shoots two people

and kills them and hurts his hand. And everyone's like, and someone tapes him while doing it on their phone, tapes him. They don't use tape, they just support him. And they, they got a realtor, they have connections with their phone, yeah. They use 16-millimeter cameras. They, just looks better, guys. And they upload it to the internet.

People start calling him the grim reaper and make it memes. And suddenly, everyone on the radio, they're like, how do I anchor these memes? They're not that dang. They're totally not dang. They're really crappy. They look like someone's not that dang. They're totally not dang. They're really crappy. They look like someone's idea of memes. They're pretty bad.

And the memes also aren't, they're like, they got memes like crazy. And the memes aren't like, check out this awesome guy. The memes are, it's him shooting someone in the head and it says like, when your friend gives you a G-O-T spoiler, it's like, the memes are not about him is what I'm saying. They're just using him to like make jokes about other things.

But we know the movie has a Greek chorus in the form of Chicago Radio Personalities sway in Man Cow, who provide the opposing viewpoints via their podcasts of everything the Green Reaper does. Now, Man Cow also says he's a piece of scum. He's a piece of trash I read I had a combination against nature because I've gone so many years forgetting that man cow existed But now I and brought back to harsh reality. I use I forgot I like I used when I was the day. I had to watch for a long time

He was on Fox all the time and on MSNBC a lot and I used to watch those then and it was like Oh, who is this jerk? And I thought maybe that he had been put out to pasture, you might say. But no, he's still around. And he's a, it's, I mean, you gotta start as what, like a Midwestern DJ or some shit? Yeah, yeah. And then they all start that way as DJs,

and then they put more and more politics and opinion into the show, until it becomes, the show show is just them spouting off on stuff. Instead of talking about the movies, like there's a post to. But then what I like, yeah. I like, is they get stuck with the name that they started with. So like, man, Cal, I'm sure it was like a silly name.

Yeah. But now he's got to be like, well, here's what man, Cal thinks about. He's the man, Cal brand. It's like, it's like, oh, here's what DJ Buttersmanx thinks about. We can't pay a fine answer for him. But, uh, they, nobody But there's a big debate, but the debate seems mostly weighted on the side of Grim Reaper is an urban hero who is making our streets safe, especially,

after he next goes out and in broad daylight kills a drug deal named the ice cream man. And like Clint Howard's like, I'm available. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can play urban. I don't know, Clint. I don't know, you can.

So everyone's like, this guy's great. Dean Norris and his partner, I don't remember the actress who's playing his partner. They're investigating this case. Yeah, she looks super familiar, but I don't remember. I can't look her up. And the only clue they really have to go on is that this is a white man in a hooded sweatshirt, and he looks like he heard his hands the first time. The Haman M. So the Univar. Yeah I kind of expected every witness to be like, yeah, it kind of look like you, Dean Norris.

We put this hood on. Yeah, yeah, like you. Suck in your cheeks. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Meanwhile Bruce Willis, he's feeling a re-rope pep in his step. He is loving, murdering people. And his therapist is like, His therapist totally recognize that.

She's like, whatever you're doing, keep doing it. He's like, thank you, I will. And, but, things are about to come to a head. His days of murdering generic criminals are gonna be over because that valet, he recognizes comes in as a gunshot victim and around his wrist a fancy watch this wife was gonna give him for luckily he gets a murder him oh wait he's already dead

then should this been taken from him I mean I get it's kind of light I thought that he doesn't do work that hard to save it okay it's like he has the defibrillator paddles he's like clear and just holds him above the guys chest oh it's not working. Let's clear. Zip, zip, oh boy, nothing we could do. Put the sheet over him. He hasn't flatlined yet. Put the sheet over his face.

If only you'd been taking more improv classes instead of gun classes. So anyway, he says, I'm going to track this guy down. He steals this guy's phone, which was in hospital evidence, I'm not sure. And uses his dead body's fingerprint to open up the fingerprint ID. Here's a question I have. I don't know how those fingerprint IDs work. So will it work on a dead body or does it need to have heat in the finger?

That's a good question. Is it like a little camera that takes a picture of the ridges of your thumb brain? I assumed it was just a thumbprint thing, but as someone who's tried to open my phone while it's raining outside, and there's water on my thumb I don't think that the bloody thumb probably was very good to open that That's totally true if I have any water on my thumb my phone's like uh-uh There's someone else block the phone forget explode it. Yeah, we don't want Aquaman stealing storage pictures Oh my cool memes that I say

I like when mom shows you a GTO. Oh, she's critters gifts. Yeah, that's fun. I'm amazed. I don't know how much memory you take it on your phone with. Gifts and me. Gifts. I don't know.

A normal amount. Oh, it's normal. I'm like constantly running out of space. Whenever I take a photo, it says no memory. I'm like, oh, I've got to delete some stuff. Stewards has a bottomless will. It's like a romantic rung sack full of memes and gifts. Well, that's a thing.

I, when I went to get my phone, I'm like, which is the one that holds maximum amount of pictures of my cat and memes and gifts. And they're like, oh, you'll need the executive model, sir. But anyway, that's what executives have. Yeah, yeah. They're not playing with that hanging ball toy on their desk. They're just looking at memes and gifts, pictures of their cats.

I mean, that's just to show that executive that for a reaction, there's an equal and opposite reaction. I mean, that makes sense. That's a good message for them to learn. Art today's executives can learn from that. Maybe they need to know. Cause today's topsoyer too. Me and me and Guy.

Yeah. You had a mean mean stride, right? Yeah, yeah. Here's the thing about today's topsoyer too. Me and Mean Guy. Yeah. You had a mean mean stride, right? Yeah, yeah. Here's the thing about today's Tom Sawyer. He sounds like an asshole. I know his mind is not for rent. But it's like, he seems like he just doesn't like other people. Why are you getting the old Tom Sawyer?

Yes, the old Tom Sawyer was great. The new Tom Sawyer is much more efficient at tricking people into painting fanciness. Are you saying the Ayn Rand loving rush lyrics are not good? I'm just saying that I don't want to hang out with this new Tom, with the new Tom Sawyer. The old Tom Sawyer, yeah, he sounds great. Friends with Huck Finn. Yeah, I mean, you know, when you kidnap him, he's trouble, but... But why would you kidnap him? He's a cool guy.

I mean, I think if we judge everyone on their reaction to being kidnapped, I think that's fair metric. Yeah, I think that's not you're not at your best in that moment. So Bruce Willis, he uses the phone to track down the fence who has his stolen stuff. He's at a bar which appears to be closed all the time. He's like, hey, you can't come back here. It's like, well, it appears to be a bar. The bar has it one TV, which is showing a loop, apparently,

of a woman in a very short dress with her butt hanging out, bowling. And I thought it was a bowling show of sexy ladies, but you just see the same one over and over again in every shot. Yeah, I feel like the old guy sitting in the bar watching it is like, I don't know, like watching Kingpin for Mr. Skin trying to see if there's any new things. And he's like, is this technically new to me?

He goes back rewind computer rewind 15 seconds. As shot. Get the time code. Computer rewind I missed the time code again. Watching Kingpin. Vanessa Angel's brief film career. Whatever happened to her. I don't know.

It was on that weird science show. Well, that's what made her name which weird science show. I don't know what happened to her after. I mean, the weird science was before Kingpin. Okay. Was that the start of the revitalization of Bill Murray's career?

Kingpin, I think, you know what? I think if you were gonna trace it back, that was the showing that he wanted to be back in the spotlight maybe. Cause it wasn't a huge hit as a movie, but it was maybe Bruce, it was like Don't Marie saying to the world I'm ready to play again.

They had that Blues Traveler song at the end of the movie. You're right, I'm honest, the biggest hit of all time. I'm just gonna wait. Cause they never won a movie of the history of the world. You're right, Blues Traveler. Blues Traveler, a band where my dad met the lead singer on an airplane once, John Popper, and he continued to call him John Papa forever, and we'd be like, it's not his name. He called him Tom Papa.

He called him, you know, called him Papa John. Oh, not that old soul. Someone's calling me, I wanted to say some racist stuff. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,'t have a, we don't have a, you know, what's my call, Joy? I mean, translate it for you. Thank you.

No, yeah. Well, you don't really need it because half of Huddys is just English words. Yeah, yeah. Something Jedi, emails. Oh, wait, no. No, a job of a long go, her server. Wow.

So, Javas really have to get some airsees too. I mean, he's, you know. So, uh, so he got, so anyway, this is when the movie starts getting silly, because Bruce Willis, he's fighting this fence and the fence calls this other guy and that guy comes in and starts a gun fight. Bruce Willis doesn't, he's, he's never really in danger because the universe is looking out for him because this bad guy, Bruce will have his gun on Bruce Willis and but Bruce Willis has like hit, he accidentally bumped into a wall which knocked over a trophy

which hit a bowling ball and the bowling ball falls in the bag guys ahead and kills him. So it's like wait this movie just became final destination all of a sudden or home alone in some way. Yeah I like the idea that Bruce Willis is someone some kind of like death god like Ryu from death note to help them out. Kathan help me with this. Yeah. So it's so maybe that's a Calga take me away. I mean that's a soap right? Yeah. Or detergent for sure. So but now he is he knows that the universe smiles on him because therapists said it's okay and a bowling ball. Yeah and I think his mother dipped him in the river sticks but held on to his ankle. So no human wife, it's gonna enter.

Where's it possible at the bowling ball? Upon seeing Rizzle's his bald head said, no, one of my brother and she'll not fall. I give my life for the witness me and sacrifice himself to kill that other guy. I shall defeat the herod one. Yeah, to save my brother of balls. Oh, how horrible they have filled your finger holes with here. Are it I, buddy?

And he's to make you one of the manlings. But I shall save you by half bowling brother. That model like the bowling ball gives at the end of act four is amazing. That's what I auditioned for with. I auditioned to be a Scorpion Wrangler. And the day she is. It's not really, it's not a performing part. How do you help Scorpion say,

ah, all pins shall fall before my might. For I am Lane Crusher and have no need for the gutter pillows that children use, the bumper ball, if you will. Yeah, it was crazy. When I saw there, when they gave me back my resume after saying I was hired, it was just covered in their tears. Yeah, because they loved it so much.

Yeah. For Suith, I hear the hammer of strike maker. Oh, yeah, I mean, or your God of the bull. I didn't realize you were gonna do the whole piece, but that's okay. Yes, I know it's got a year thing. I'm biting your style here. Anyway, he goes on to the next guy,

who was, this is the guy who caused all the trouble during the break in and led to the shooting. That guy works at an auto garage, Bruce Willis, because he's the hero of the movie, torches him by cutting open his, what, femoral artery, no, no, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

it's, it's, it's, it's, like, the sciatic nerve in a brain nerve. And then the sciatic nerve in his leg. Sciatic nerve. And then pours motor acid into it. Some sort of caustic agent. No, I'm so happy to be partied of this. And then, as he's walking away, the guy's like, you're not going to, and he goes, it was fish.

It's a guy named, oh no, it's nox, he's fish, right? Yeah. No, no, fish was the guy who got bowling ball. Oh boy, I can't even remember these two names. He was the heroine. Oh, that's right. He goes, it's this guy no Knox. No, Fisher was the guy who got bowling balled. Oh boy, I can't even remember these two names. He was the heroine. Oh, that's right. He goes, it's this guy Knox. I don't even know him.

And he goes, how do I find him? You don't find Knox. He finds you. Okay, great. So it's Soviet Russia, I guess. And then he goes, he's leaving. He goes, you're not going to kill me? No, the Jack is.

And then he pulls the Jack out from under this car. And the car smooshes the guy's head and his brains pop out. And that's one of those Eli Roth moments where you're like, oh yeah, I'm watching Eli Roth movie. I literally saw his brains pop out of his head cracked like an egg. Oh, Bruce Willis is like now who's the egg head? Like all the King's horses and all the King's men can't put you back together. Why would the horses be of any help anyway? They don't have hands. They'd only just try to eat the yolk from inside of Humps. Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, it's very much a attempt at like, commando level levity, but it's not as good. It's also like

the Jack didn't kill him. You killed him. Like you killed him by dropping a car in his head to be like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, ladies, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to be like the judge is defending himself ladies and gentlemen the jury I submit it was the car that committed the murder My finger rings were nowhere near him, but the tire prints were on his head. Oh just a simple country lawyer You are actually a surgeon who lives in the city simple country egg Now I'm just an incredible animal egg. I'm not some big city lawyer. I may be packed with protein, but I don't have any fancy law books in this shell. Seems to me, if a car falls on a man's head, you can't blame a little old egg. Which came first, the chicken or the me I rest my case

This is just a sin and see her You can't break off you me user that will make it in omelette. Please don't break me though. I would appreciate not being in an omelette I wouldn't mind being an omelie though. Omelie starring Bruce Willis as omelie. I want to try something different. Damn, how would that be different if Bruce Willis played omelie instead of Audrey Tattu? She would still begin life as an... As we all do. Less impishness, that's for sure. Yeah, probably. So, anyways, with his head open with the car.

This is when the police starts to suspect Denofrio because he's the only other character moving. He has a history of dropping cars on people. He has a history of being a bad dude and they're like, let's see your hands. Do you have a wound on your hand? And it's like, you saw the videos. Denofrio is waist-outer than the grim reaper. And like two feet taller.

Yeah, it's like, maybe you could have fit in that hoodie sweatshirt in college. But not six feet. So, wow. But it turns out he's not. And Denofrio goes to Willis's home and finds Willis' vigilante hole in his basement. Yeah, I kind of like that reveal that when he goes down there

and he realizes that his brother's been radicalized by YouTube videos. And he's like once nice house now has a basement that is like some kind of gross ass video game dungeon. Yeah. Yeah, it's like It's like a man cave for a serial killer is what it is. Yeah, except there's no Like no evidence and red string all over the place and like pictures of the guys. He's gonna kill what their eyes cut out Yeah, there's a lot more dirty laundry hanging around and it's almost like he put his own subconscious mind into the basement of his house and it's like, oh, this place is disgusting.

It's just a mess. There's just bullet casing is all over the place. It's like if the punisher wasn't as good at his job. Okay, I mean, that's why he needs a microchip, right? A microchip is the guy who's always cleaning things up, organizing the bullets, making the techno van, and cleaning Punisher's Vans, because Punisher's a big skate kit. Oh, no kidding. He wears vans, yeah. Oh, wow. What's the style?

Halfgabs. Oh, very much so. Oh, cool. He's a long border, that's the thing. He needs grip. I don't even know what I'm talking about. Willis, Bruce Willis, he's been told, Knox is at this club, or Knox calls him or something, says, maybe he texts him,

says, maybe at this club. This was when we were talking. He was like, or else I'm gonna tell the police and he's like, I mean, you're a known criminal. I'm not so sure, like how, like, we get the, like, Knox finds you, but I'm not so sure how Knox found this guy, because like, what connection, like he killed the guy

that he was there there they're talking to it's not like tell Nox I'm looking for him or anything like that he squashed that guy's brain zone. He has no real reason to think that not that he's out for him. Yeah. Who this brim reaper is. But also it's a pretty late in the game attempt to make Nox and to kind of like a scary super criminal. Yeah. When up till now he's just been kind of like some idiot Goon who screwed up a house robbery. Yeah. But now he's supposed to be like oh now he needs a threat worthy of the grip Reaper. Yeah angel of death himself So Bruce Willis goes to this club. It's exactly the sort of place that blade would show up and kill all the vampires It is a crazy club

There's like just two women and a glass case holding big futuristic laser Like gas mass on yeah, and then and instead of having individual sinks outside the bathrooms, there's a huge fountain that everybody, like a communal hand washing fountain, which must be disgusting at the end of the night. Oh, yeah, it cares. And Bruce Willis goes, it's just like a human soup, just gross. Yeah. Yeah.

Bruce Willis goes into the, into the bathroom, which is packed with peeps, packed with people men and women. So it's like an alley McBeele unisex bathroom. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's a, it's 2018. Good point. Yeah, I guess you're right. And so that it's all a trap and nox shows up and starts shooting at him. And Bruce Wilson's like, oh no. And he's he collapses into a bathroom stall where he was, it was like the cage that he

was lured into. Yeah, because there was a phone there that he was following. And the only way to get out is he points is going up to the ceiling and shoots out the fuse box to put the lights out. Yeah, fuse box that's conveniently located on the ceiling of the men's bathroom, which is insane. Now Stuart, you're a borrow, you own a public house. Yeah. Now explain how difficult this would make your life in that fuse box was like.

First off, I think it's really important to put your fuse box in a public area. Easily accessible to the patrons. Yeah, I mean, not necessarily easily because it is above a toilet, but an innerprising patron with a will to cause some destruction could easily have access to it. Okay, so first we'll put your fuse box in a public place. Secondly, fuse box placement. Probably in a bathroom, Some place that just gets generates a lot of like I don't know like water You know the type of room that you would want to use a special kind of primer on the walls because the wall like it just gets the humidity is so high

So you would want to put something that requires Absolute dryness to be right there. Yeah, it puts up electrical things there now also Let's say you needed to switch the fuse on and off, would it make it more or less difficult to have to climb onto a toilet seat to do so? Well, that's a thing is that you would put it above a toilet seat because chances are there's already going to be somebody in there pooping, so you can just climb on him instead of having to use a ladder. I just get on this shoulder. I mean, it's going to save you a ladder now, or so. That was the pressure you're applying on your shoulders will help poop get pushed out. I mean, it's gonna save you later, now. That wasn't the pressure you're applying on your shoulders will help the poop get pushed out. I mean, it's a service, I probably.

Yeah. That's, if you need, you can call up Welling Dim's and if you're ever constipated, he'll just sit on your shoulders and bounce up and down a little bit. Give gravity some extra help. Mm-hmm. Yeah, then I whisper things in your ears.

Yeah. Shh, just let go. That's like every time I go to the bathroom, I was like, love like he'd never been hurt, pooped like nobody's watching. That's my model. My model. Anyway, the shooter doesn't go well. Bruce Willis actually gets shot, though he escapes.

That's impossible. And the cops are like, check out all the hospitals. We think the grim reaper got shot, but Willis doesn't go to a hospital. He's a doctor. He knows how to handle this, so he goes home and uses glue and a stapler to close his wound up. And it doesn't look fun.

And what we get to watch the whole thing. Oh yeah, it's super cool. The cops at this point suspect Bruce Willis for the very rational reason that again, he is the only other character left in the movie. Who else is gonna be? Sway, Man Cow, I don't think so. Though Man Cow is supporting the grim reaper,

he, I don't know, doesn't seem to have this stuff. No, I don't think so. His daughter comes out of her coma, which is great since I was worried that she would die. But then I realized later, oh, just so that she can be vulnerable in the, in the climactic scene. Oh, yeah, of course. They're, while they're leaving, they get into an elevator that Knox happens to be

in. He's leaving the hospital too because he was shot. And Knox and the daughter have this very bizarre creepy conversation. As Bruce Willis just kind of stands there smiling the whole time. And his one thing starts like, I don't know if Bruce Willis is the character supposed to be secretly seething inside, as he knows that the man that he wants to kill is right here and he can't do anything about it. Or if Bruce Willis is just thinking about like something funny,

he saw him, like, oh, remember that cheddar gavelin's ad? That was hilarious. Or Bruce Willis is just like this is a nice boy maybe my daughter will finally meet a nice boy and settle down yeah it's weird because I feel like we're not supposed to think that he necessarily knows that this is Knox until afterward when like not as they were leaving he goes you know he calls him dr. Cursey would just name calls him by his name yeah so the movie called me by your name is about.

It's about that moment when you realize that's the bad guy. Yeah, but before that, it's just like, especially like the new killer Bruce Willis, I feel like would not allow a creepy dude to talk to his wheelchair. Like, hey, all you get out of home will have one of you. All of you will feel about you going home. Yeah, I am great, okay. Like that's what he sounds like. Yeah, where is home, huh?

I was just out of the curious. I was gonna give you address, which is your bedroom window, okay honey, bye, well, I think this licks her face, gotta go, I have a good one. Brzezwell's like, he seems nice. It seems like, why can't you meet a nice boy like that? He's like, thinking about changing the appetizer menu

and planning Hollywood. He is not for the return of the return of Bruno. In his mind, he's like, North wasn't that bad on movie. How come Roger Ebert hated it so much? Bruce Willis' Disney's The Kid. Why not The Kid, too? Boyhood did well. Hmm, Hudson Eagle. His hogs brother. Did I die at the end of that movie?

Maybe I didn't and it could just be Hudson Hawk too. Oh man what is the color of night? Blue? Who knows? The famous movie where you see Bruce Walsh's penis are all. Yeah. He's a, hmm. Maybe there was a sixth element. And to seventh sense. Sixth element is salt. Oh, wow. I mean, it's essential to flavor. It's not an element. It's two elements put together in ACL.

It's potassium chloride, I think, but still. We could just go on like this moon dark name. There's some potential there and his daughter's like, Dad, did you see that creepy guy? He called you by your name. What? No, I don't know. I was just thinking, sorry.

Just thinking about squeakles. Anyway, long story short, the bad guys invade Bruce Will's house. There is no suspense as Bruce Willis is on top of the game the whole time and essentially just slaughters him. Yeah, he has led them into the sweetest honey pot of a whole. And I was waiting at this point for it to be revealed

finally that Vincent de'Nafrio was the real bad guy behind it all, but the movie played me. I was wrong. It was not smart enough to do that. Instead, it was just a bunch of random criminals. Yeah. Yeah. And which led me to wonder,

why is Vincent de'Nafrio in this movie? Yeah. His character has really that, which led me to wonder, why is Vincent DiDavrio in this movie? Yeah. His character has really no point other than to like make you think, I guess, that he's the bad guy, which is fair. Well, he's like, you know, he's the moral guy who, like, once he figures out what Bruce Willis is doing, he's like, you got to stop killing people. Look, buddy. Listen, bro.

There's one thing I know. You got it. I mean, as much as much as having the power of life and death in your hands makes you feel like a god, you got it. It's been amazing in toxic and I understand the way you smoked out those three dudes, like a couple of blunts. It was awesome. I mean, it wasn't very tense because it wasn't shot well or anything. It's edited poorly, but you know, knowing that, knowing that there's a mother somewhere who's crying because her baby's gone and you've made that happen, I know it's amazing, it's a thrilling feeling, better than sex even, but come on buddy,

you got to stop, you get the whole family in trouble, come on! I know that way. What are you doing? Why? I'm crying, it's me Vincent Delabrio. Vincent Delabrio, up all night. Oh, man, the man's an animal. Oh, wow. I think I've said this before.

There's never been scenery divides that he cannot chew through. He's never risked when it comes to scenery. I think I've mentioned this before on the podcast. I'd venture to you guys when we're watching it, seeing a play with Vincent Delabrio in it. And there were times when it was like a wild rhinoceros was loose on the stage, and I was ready to just gonna run into the audience

and start killing people with spare hands. It's an amazing performance. It's him and Ethan Hawke on stage, one of several times to see Ethan Hawke in plays. I like Ethan Hawke on stage more than the movies. They were playing what the producer's or something? Yeah, it was the bridge. Yeah, it was Lakasha Fall.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. bridge. Yeah, it was the collage of all So the movie ends with Dean Norris and the cops are not investigating the multiple homicide of Bruce Willis's house, but yeah He's just a man like, uh, so it looks like these criminals came in and you stalk them like a true death dealer You crave in the hundred these guys And he's like so what happened here? And he's like, they came into my, I took, I came into my home and I protected my daughter. It was and you bought a heavy automatic weapon the day before. The day my daughter came.

Yeah, well that's good. Just in case it happened again. And that injury in your hand, it's almost healed in the gunshot wound. And your arm that stitched up. He says, he says those you got today goes me up. And I was waiting for us to go like, yeah, I'm a kind of a Logan, if you will. I heal real fast. I'm a saver tooth. And D Norse is like, okay, well, all right. I think you're just a regular husband who wanted to protect his family. And I appreciate that.

And it's like that moment where it's like, I know what you did. And I approve of it. And then D Norse to seal the deal takes, I know what you did, and I approve of it. And then de-nors to seal the deal, takes a piece of pizza off the counter and eats it. That's not in his diet, when he's a man. Where did that fucking pizza come from? Let's stop for a moment and think about this, because it is one of the most unrealistic things about the movie that there is spontaneously generating pizza.

When it was like, that cops arrived at the crime scene and like, get us some pizzas. Oh, there's gonna be a light one. Oh boy, get the pizza guy in. I mean, it would make sense if they were next to the, what, the corner who showed up, who brought a pizza along with his tools because that's what coroners do. They're always, they'll open up their little tool bag and there's a sandwich in there. Imagine that like, they ordered the pizza before all the guys got shot

and the pizza delivery guy got there in between when the guys got shot and the pizza delivery guy got there in between when the guys got shot and the cops were there. So he's like, there's all these bodies lying around and this will just is paying out for the people. I mean, that would actually be a joke. It might actually be funny in the video. Movie with no humor. I mean, where he goes to open the door and pulls a gun

and it's the pizza guy and he goes, oh, it's just pizza. We're then shoots the pizza guy. I think he eats another thing. Yeah, what's with it or something? Yeah. There's all these guys, people here, and it's really crazy. And I'm a pizza guy and he goes, oh, it's just pizza. We're then shoots the pizza guy. I think he's a lot of crazy. Yeah, there's all these guy people here. And it's really crazy. And I'm a pizza guy.

But no, it's just it's just pizza. But Dean Norris, he's never going back to those RX bars. Now that he's seen the masculine ideal of justice and strength in Reaper Bruce Willis, he's going to eat pizza for an XA. Because I guess Dean Norris is continuing his transformation into an engine. Yep. So Bruce Willis takes his daughter to college in the big city, New York, and while he is,

and we hear over the radio, Sway is like, I don't know where there's just this burst of radio. It's like, Grim Reaper, wherever you are, we don't know, but like, rest in peace, stay away. And it's like, so either. I mean, they don't have that much stuff to fill the air on serious exam, right? I guess that must be it.

I didn't realize that Sway had a national radio show, something, or that it's being picked up by the filling in Bruce Willis's teeth. Like, I don't know. Yep. And we see Zabel Hopp, who has enormous pile of bags that he's bringing into a hotel. And a guy just walks by and takes one of them

and Bruce Willis goes, hey, and then Mime's shooting him with the gun, cut to credits, directed by Eli Roth. And I wasn't sure what to take from that last scene. Was it supposed to be like? He's like, Petty Crimes is the same as Capitol Crimes. Yeah. And it's almost like they're going for like an end of taxi driver moment

where you're like, this guy could go off at any moment again. Like he's a danger walking around, but he's the hero of the movie and I think we're supposed to like him. So. Yeah, I think Back in black starts to play again. Does it something like that? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it is back in black. It was either that or like back in the saddle again by Aerosmith. What if it was big balls that started playing?

It would be nuts. So yeah, we're back in the high life again. Starts. We're supposed to boys are back in time, etc. it. Yeah. And the movie had the one, the bad luck of being a horrible celebration of murder, but also the bad luck of coming out at a time when it has been rarely more apparent, the danger of random people deciding to reorder the universe according to their inner morality

through bullets. So we'll try not to let that influence our judgments. Let's be like hermetic monks looking at only the thing in front of us another world around. I think I can't, I'm looking at making that promise. Let's try it. Let's try it. Let's do it a final judgment where we decide whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie kind of like I'm gonna go first and just say that, like Eli Roth is a stupid man. Whoa. But, well, in terms of like- He invented the Roth IRA.

Oh, well, I mean, I don't know what the effect that has on economy in general, but I certainly take advantage of that. I mean, it was originally called a Roth ELI. In terms of morality, he's a stupid man. Like, if you're thinking in his films, the morality is idiotic. Yeah. But he's a stupid man. Like, if you're thinking in his films, the morality is idiotic. But he's a slick director.

Like I actually think he has talent as a director. So this movie, while watching it, entertained me. Like it went down smoother than a lot of bad movies that we watched that I'm just totally bored by. But I found the morality of it so reprehensible that it's sick and big. So I give it, I give it props for being a slick piece of filmmaking, but I found it to be a bad movie because of the content.

Yeah, I mean, I actually kind of wish there was a little more cleverness to something like, it never felt like there was that much tension. Something, I guess some of the action scenes had, it was nice that the action scenes actually utilized some of the geography of the locations, which is good and uncommon most of the time. But it, like, there was never any tension.

You never ever thought that like Bruce Willis wasn't gonna murder these clowns. And yeah. But if they were actually clowns. I mean, that would basically just be like a Batman movie, right? Yes, that's true. Yeah. And yeah, there's a lot of movies out there about guys who's all their responsibilities

get washed away in an orgy of violence. And this is not even one of the better ones, so I don't recommend it. I actually found a, I would call it bad bed, also I actually found it like, it's like, from a technical level, it's competently made, but it reminded me of like red dragon,

where it's like, okay, this is like a movie made by a machine. Fairly sterile. Yeah, sterile, there's no sense of like, there's no sense. Until that guy's had got squashed like an egg. Yeah, you could, it feels like that's the one moment where Eli Roth was like, I love it. But otherwise it felt like him doing something for a paycheck almost. Yeah. And yeah, the morality of it is is horrified.

Like the idea of like the idea of watching a surgeon get radicalized by YouTube videos is fucking horrible. Yeah. And sad. It's this weird baby boomer white male baby boomer wet dream that so much that I expected like them to announce that there's unlimited paper towels for them to use forever. Is that a white male baby boomer thing? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I mean, the one your parents house and see how many paper towels these. Probably a lot. Yeah, it's crazy. And I bet their bathroom has a tiny landscape. Yeah, it's crazy. And I bet their bathroom has a tiny landscape painting in it. Yeah. That's something that I noticed in a lot of older baby boomers bathrooms.

There's a tiny landscape painting in the bathroom. Yeah, it was almost like if the only thing was missing was Bruce Willis, then like, hooking up with a much younger, like sexy assassin or something like that to make it the full-on middle-aged baby boomer like fantasy that dream. Cornucopia. There's also the moment where they're like if he started dating his comba daughter's best friend.

And there's a scene that kind of almost starts to imply that. There's a moment where Dino is like, or maybe it's his partner's like, be on the lookout. It's a white male and a hooded sweatshirt, 40s to 50s. And Stuart was like, 40s to 50s seems a little generous. Yeah, but that was part of Bruce Willis' re-writes. So I don't think we like this movie. Hi, I'm Dave. Hi, I'm Graham. And where two house DJs who have been trapped inside our drum machine.

We love it here, and we'd love if you stop by and visit it us every week on Stop Podcasting yourself here on MaximumFun.org. We're just a couple of doofuses from Canada and listen to our show or perish. Stop podcasting yourself on MaximumFun.org. Hi, I'm Dave. Hi, I'm Graham. And we're two house DJs who have been trapped inside our drum machine. We love it here and we'd love if you stop by and visit it us every week on Stop Podcasting

yourself here on MaximumFun.org. We're just a couple of doofuses from Canada and listen to our show or perish. Stop podcasting yourself on MaximumFun.org. Oh, hello. I didn't see you come in. It's time for a solo flop house ad read. This podcast, the flop house, it's called, you maybe, maybe you've heard of it, I don't know. It's supported in part by Away. Away. Makers of first-class luggage at a coach price. I personally got away bag. They were kind of have to send

one to test it out. And it's lovely. It's got one of them hard bodies, not like the film hard bodies. That's a different thing. I don't want to get into that. But you can see it on the Sony Movie Classics Channel every fucking day for some reason. It's got a little battery that you can use to charge your phone. I don't know why I'm getting into these features because the copy explains the features later on.

I just wanna say, I really appreciate having this piece of luggage, I'm using it to go up to my brothers for Thanksgiving. I don't know why you care about that. Are you stalking me? Are you stalking me? Are you gonna show up with my brothers on Thanksgiving and try and do something to me? For God's sakes people. For God's sakes. Stay away. I mean, I love you, but stay away.

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Think of all the text in you can do, and the candy crushes or whatever. There's a lifetime warranty or if anything breaks, they'll fix or replace it for you for life. Listen, there's a special offer for if anything breaks they'll fix or replace it for you for life. Listen There's a special often offer for you the flop house listener for $20 off a suitcase visit away Travel.com slash flop and use the code flop at checkout because this season Everyone wants to get away We also have a

Another sponsor we got square space our, our old standby, our old reliable, our old buddies at Squarespace. You know what they are by now. They're a site that help you make a website. A site that help you make a website. I wonder why I'm not a copywriter. A site that help you make a website. Jesus Christ. All right, Dan. Anyway, Squarespace is a service that allows you to create a beautiful website to sell products and services of all kinds, promote your physical or online business, announce an upcoming event or special product, and more. How do they do this, you ask? How is that even possible?

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commercials or something. You should head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, usually offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase, purchase of a website or domain. It's a purchase. You're not gonna get to the end of the thing and be like, I'd like to purchase this and get away with some scam.

You gotta purchase it. All right, I'm sorry that I misled you. We got a couple jumbo trams coming all over the wire. The first one says, the helpful snowman podcast will fix your problems, especially if they're solved by the audio diary of a Colorado librarian who hates weed and mountains. Check out a podcast that tests your Roseanne

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Or subscribe to the podcast and your favorite pod thingy I am even more Confused by what this is then when I started reading But in a way isn't that the most effective advertising don't you want to go and and go over to helpful snowman.com and see what the hell I was just talking about. Anyway we got another personal message this one's from for Ollie it's from Emily and it says to the best acquaintance I've ever had thank you for giving me the best week of my life you are everything I could ever want I can't wait to see you in April for more full breakfasts

Sheeran bed snacks and mystery bruises after all Reno is the Paris of the West. I love you. Isn't that? sweet I Say that in a way that makes it sound like I'm ironically angry, but I am not If you want to get a jumbo tron, go to maximumfund.org-jumbo-tron and you can look into it. For now, I will continue reading. I'm not reading anything. I'll continue drinking my coffee and my pajama pants, which is what I'm doing while recording this ad read

and you can get back to the show. All right, well moving on to letters from listeners. Listeners like you. Yeah, let's do it. I so, it seems like you're waiting for something that that I don't know what it is. No, I'm not waiting for anything. I, I, I, what is Dan waiting for? Why does Dan pause in that peculiar way? What could Dan think he's about to have been today? Because today is a day that's frayed with weight, and Dan he's having trouble waiting.

Dan's appetite, it needs shading. Dan's food needs plating. What's Dan waiting for? I think that's what we're all asking every day, in every way, as we go about our lives thinking, hey, what's Dan waiting for, what's Dan waiting for, who's waiting for, there's so many things Dan could wait for, so many things Dan could hate for, so many things Dan is late for, but what's he wait for? There's only one man who can answer that's Dan. Dan is the man who can answer. The answer belongs with

Dan sir. He's a tiny dancer. That's Dan sir. That was from my 1975 Broadway show, Dance Day. Okay. You know, Steven Hassanheim told me I was terrible. Normally, I do some sort of vetting of these letters beforehand, but because we're in a holiday in or holiday in, I would say, I'm gonna kill her. Because we're in a holiday in the middle of nowhere. I haven't had a chance. You're right, Dan.

The internet doesn't work the same way here. When you're in a holiday in the middle of nowhere, you're so busy that you don't have time to do things. Guys, daylight saving sign just kicked in and Dan is going, eep shit. Oh, man, yeah. I'm just picking a random. I say my random. This one is from Eric last name with held

Mm-hmm or gastrada who writes hey Say original pages hey And recent reviews of most movies especially in relation to the release of the new venom movie Mm-hmm CGI's criticized more and more as a younger listener who didn't grow up during the time of practical effects I can still agree that the reliance can be too much, but I don't always understand the complaints. Recently, I've heard people complaining about the trailer for the upcoming Aqua Man movie and the CGI involved. My question for you is, when does CGI rub you the wrong way? Also, could you make a good Aqua Man movie without CGI?

I don't think the underwater scenes would go nearly as well. Keep up on flopping, Eric Lasting would tell. I mean, I think it's easy to misunderstand the complaint that I have about CGI, but I mean, I feel like it's kind of like salt. Like it's a good, like CGI and all special effects in general are good to have in a certain amount, but if you overdo it, it's terrible.

And if you do it without really thinking about it, I feel like the problem with the Aquaman movie and the trailer at least and all the DC movies is they feel like they are entirely shot on a green screen and all the digital effects are thrown in afterwards. And it's all done as an afterthought and it doesn't feel like there's no impact to anything. It doesn't feel creative and it doesn't feel purposeful at a certain point. Something that I think to twist stewards metaphor slightly because it's a very good metaphor. I'm going to use bacon instead of salt. Okay.

There's this thought among certain people, it's like, hey, guess what I put in there? It's some bacon. You're going to love it. It's like, I don't need it in everything. And it's making it to become a crutch that people lean on instead of thinking about what they're making. And with CGI, there's a certain feeling of like, oh, we don't have to try too hard to figure this out because we'll have the CGI guys work 80 hour weeks just making it look

like whatever. And it ends up being a thing. And we'll barely acknowledge them in the credits, basically. Yeah, that too. From a labor point of view, it's horrifying. But CGI, it's a tool, and it's a really good tool when it's used well, and it's a really crappy tool when you use it for everything.

And I think certain directors also have a better grasp of how to use that sort of thing effectively. Like Guillermo del Toro, for instance. Yeah. And there's something about, like, it's just, it's just, is it's just, when anything, anytime something is overused and not used particularly well, because it's a good way to not have to think about stuff too hard and you can paper over things, you know, there's so much stuff in TV and movies that gets done digitally that could

pretty easily be done practically. Are you referring to Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom where they use a underwater saw on a tooth and you're like, those two things exist. Yeah, that could be a real thing. But like I've noticed that people driving in cars looks much worse now when it used to. Like it looks faker because it's just very easy to do and people don't even really think about it anymore. It's like CGI is like real enough, I feel like that people stopped trying to make it look really real. And they're just like, good enough, this is fine. And people are watching this show on their phones, who cares?

Yeah. And you have a comment and you know, for whatever, and sometimes, and maybe I'm being too critical of it, sometimes when I get mad about it, but like with the Venom trailer, it was like, this looks like a cartoon to me. And the cartoonyony venom suit. And not just Tom Hardy's awesome over-the-top performance. It is a crazy accent, everything. But it's like, it feels like, is this supposed to exist

in a world where I'm supposed to give a shit about anything in it? Because if it is, help it look real to me. And that might mean using a practical effect here than you're rather than just doing it all green. It's this weird way of doing things where it's like, in some ways, I think much more expensive at times, but it's easier to do stuff on set that way, and the person who calls the shot

is the director who's working on set, and he's not sitting there doing the effects work. So, I mean, that might be part of it, who knows? Dan, what do you think? You got thoughts on this? Spout them out. We're talking, it's a CGI time. I think I personally feel like you be part of it who knows. Dan, what do you think? You got thoughts on this? Spat them out. We're talking, it's a CGI talk. I think I personally feel like you should only use it.

CGI, if it's a thing that could not be done like easily in another area. Something that could never exist. Yeah. Like a good example of it to me is like the incredible Hulk in the Avengers movies. It's like, there's, you cannot get that effect with a human in green paint.

And if you used like a physical body puppet for the whole thing, it would, I think it wouldn't quite work. Like, it wouldn't look like Mark Ruffalo the way it needs to. It would look kind of probably dark crystal mupity, which now I think about it sounds amazing. But that's something where they do it pretty well. But even then, there are times where it's like, all right, like the scene you could have made like a fake Hulk hand for this shot, and it would have looked a little better than just using a computer hand. I mean, the value of practical effects is that anything that exists in reality feels like it exists in reality.

Like, whereas something that's CGI, even if you can't always clock it, you know, there's something off about it. And I feel like the best, like, it's a reason why people love action movies where you've got talented stunt performers like doing like real fight choreography because there's weight and heft to everything and you can tell that that's...

It's not like they've seen in the most recent Terminator where Arnold Schwarzenegger flies off that car hood and bounces on the ground. Yeah. And it's like, wait a minute, that's not what people's bodies do. This is what car two bodies do. The thing I always compare it to in my head

is the Chewbacca costume from the original Star Wars movies, where it's like, it's so clearly a costume that's a man of suit, but it looks so good. And the character feels so alive to me. And the fur looks so real to me. Whereas anytime I've seen anything with CGI hair or fur, no matter how, no matter how they're able to differentiate all the different hairs, like it never

gets as real to me as that costume. Yeah. This nice letter is from Colin last name withheld. Colin mockery. Travaro, who writes, you often talk about how a woman vomiting in a movie is lazy, short, hand for pregnancy. We'll do it all.

I'll talk about that. Yeah, I do that all the time. Can't stop. Yeah, then. You brought it like five times today. Uh-huh. I wanted to point out that in the sequel to Mamma Mia, the writer, Hunga Lantron, when Amanda Safereads character throws up into the toilet, looks directly into the camera and says,

we know what that means. Do you have any other examples of tropes that you think are usually signs of lazy screenwriting but work in a given film because the writer draws attention to them in a certain or an unexpected way? And also he carved a jack-a-lantern of Nick Cage and he wants to show it to us. So here's a...

Oh, that looks scary. Very scary. Ah! Great and scary. Yeah. I don't know, somebody's calling our room. ["The Rune of the

Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the Rune of the R you like it. And I was going to say, to be honest, sometimes when the, when the filmmaker calls attention to something like, this is a cliche, get it right, everybody, it makes me matter. Because I'm like, you know, it's a cliche, don't do it. Like find another way to do it, dude. Like, it's not in the rule book that you have to do it that way. But that sounds like a funny moment in Mamma Mia. Yeah. Yeah. I can't, I'm having trouble thinking anything. So I'll agree with Elliot. All right, well, since we just got a call saying that we got a get out of this room soon, we should just do two letters and

okay, that's it for letters. Sorry, everybody. And it's just burn the mailbag. Do a quick recommendation of movies that we saw recently that we liked. I'll give a qualified recommendation to a movie I saw called The Old Man and The Gun. It's the movie with Robert Redford that briefly Robert Redford said was going to be his last movie and then he kind of walked back on that and said, maybe I'll do other movies, I don't maybe I'll do other movies. I don't know. But it stars him as a elderly bank robber who robs banks with, uh, let me guess a gun. A gun.

Yes. And he has a team of other elderly, uh, uh, I think it's Danny Glover and Tom Waitz. I can't remember. So it's like back in style or back in business, whatever that was. Yeah. And, uh, he tunes back in action. He has a romance with Cissy spacebacks. She's great. And she is the romance is the best part of the movie. The, you know, like he kind of hints to her what his job is, but doesn't ever like come out and say it and they

have this little kind of dance around where like I don't know he provides a little sense of like spark in her life and she provides stability um and that's honestly the best part of the movie is this kind of like older romance the movie itself itself, the, just the idea of like, oh, there's are old people who rob banks, like, not that interesting in and of itself, even though it's based on a real life guy, like the movie is 90 minutes long and the plot still feels a little thin in 90 minutes, but the acting is so good and the period kind of feel of the movie. It's in the early 80s and it's kind of shot as if it's like a 70s film gives it this and they all talk about its the 30s. Yeah. Yeah, I'm on this bank. Just like brick, right?

Yeah, so that's my qualified recommendation. It's a little thin, but it's very pleasant. The old man and the gun. I'm like qualified recommendation. It's a little thin, but it's very pleasant. The old man and the gun. I'll also give a qualified recommendation. I saw the recent Star is born, starring Lady Gaga and Bradley Coops. Now who would win if I had to be Lady Gaga and Gal Gadot? Oh, I mean, probably Gal Gadot,

because she is like a true warrior. But Lady Gaga's mother monster. She is mother monster. I don't know. We'll have to see how it goes. Okay. It's a movie that, you know, it's the fourth iteration of this story. And I think it's a movie that has some pretty solid performances all around, including

a great one from a man, Sam Elliott. But the, you know, it's- And the Myth of Mustache. It's a weird movie because the, I liked the first like 30 or 40 men so the movie so much that it made me want to like the second half of the movie more. And frankly, I like that first half enough that I think it's certainly an experience worth having.

But I feel like the second half kind of loses its way and it focuses a little too much on Bradley Cooper's character. And seems to like, seems to treat Lady Gaga's character a little poorly. And I think that sucks. Like not just like her character goes through hardships, but her character gets like kind of the short end and is kind of critically the movie's critical toward her career as opposed to Bradley Cooper's career, which is crazy.

Characters, not the actors. So yeah, I mean, I think it's worth watching, but I will say that I feel like the ending is a bit of a let down. And I'm going to give an unqualified recommendation. Oh, to a movie I liked a lot. It's a movie called Sherkers. That is a documentary that's on Netflix right now. And it was made by this woman, Sandy Tan, who back in the 90s, she and some of her friends when they were very young, they're all like 1819, fell, they were part of this, the DIY and Zine movement at the time and they were all living in Singapore and this was how they could reach out to the rest of the world, was through Zines and other people's homemade magazines. They decided they were going to be independent filmmakers and fell under the sway of this older man who said that he had all this experience in the film industry

and they shot an entire movie that she had written and she stars in. And then he took all the film and disappeared with it for years. And the movie is partly about them trying to figure out, trying to find him and find this film and figure out who he was exactly and why he would do this. But it's even more about the relationship between the director and her friends and how that evolved over time through the making this film in the years after and how the movie slowly emerges to be more and more, I think, about her coming into her own as a person and maturing from this kind of like, not exactly nihilist, but like,

kind of mad at the world young person to becoming someone who is more a part of the world. And I really liked a lot. So it's called Sherkers and I highly recommend it. I think it's really great. Great. Well, normally we would talk a little bit more, do a little more bullshit.

And I mean, I say that thanks for listening. This show is on Max Fun Podcasts. Please check out other shows on the network. They're great, MaxVomFun.org. Any website. If you enjoyed this show or other episodes, then please feel free to tweet about us with the hashtag the Flop House,

or go to iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts and leave us a review. We're just tell someone that you like it and maybe spread the word that way. So the old water cooler. Go to the water cooler and just put up a post and it says listen to the Flop House on that way. So the old water cooler. The water cooler just put up a post that says listen to the flop house song, that's one fun and the next one shows.

And or learn guitar take a take a tag. If you're looking for a book for a child, I'm just going to take a moment to mention horse meat, dog, my children's book, which is out in stores now. And but otherwise the flop house is the main thing. Leave us reviews and stuff. I don't know. Maybe just if you want to send us a big bag of money, you could do that too. Yeah, yeah. But before we get literally evicted from our hotel room, we should sign off. And so I will say, for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy.

I'm Stuart Wellington and chaining myself to a holiday in bed. I'm Elliott Kaelin. Bye. Bye. I'm here. You were in a sweater. Take the sweater off. I'm wearing sweat shorts. The Midwest in November. You're inside a room and you're hot.

So take the sweater off. We're going to get a knock on the door. It's like guys you got to leave the room. And we're like, but Dan's still hot. We didn't started yet. I know the idea that Dan's like I'm so hot, but I can't see the sweater off because it's the Midwest in the cold My body is telling me the sweater is too much, but my brain is telling me I need a sweater Who should I listen to or more more? All right, what a weird

What a weird... What a weird... I'll give it to make against your own body, Dan. This... My body's lying to me because it wants me to take off my sweater. Make myself vulnerable. Listeners supported.