The Flop House - Ep. #278 - Oscar Review Special

Episode Date: March 2, 2019

By popular demand, we talk about all the glitz and glamor that is... OSCAR! Movies recommended in this episode: Black Coal, Thin Ice Piercing Minding the Gap

And now for a special Oscar review episode live from the red carpet in Hollywood, New York! Hey, what are you guys wearing? flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Oh, hey there, Dan. Coming in right here is Stewart Wellington. And over here on the sidelines, it's Elliott Kalen. Boys, I guess there's no stars in heaven because they're all out here at the Oscars, Flop House Oscars Special 2019. Uh-huh. And as we all know, the Oscar special on the Flop House is a very special night when we do what Stewart. Well, Dan, look out into that crowd.

Everybody's dulled up and you're like, they're here. They must be on a hot date and they are on a hot date, a hot date with a man called Oscar. That's right. Oscar, the statue from the Academy Awards, he's come to life. He's terrifying because he doesn't have defining facial features. And he's wielding a sword. So it's just like a man with almost no face and what he's holding. Holding a. Well, what did you think he was holding?

I thought he was holding his stuff. No, it goes all the way down to his feet and as it helps. I thought that's why people liked him so much and wanted him. Anyway, I'm not actually sure why you're talking about the Academy Awards because on this episode of the podcast, we're reviewing the movie Oscar from nineteen ninety one now does this have anything to do with the fact that the Oscars were actually last week uh... we're recording this the day of the academy awards but will not be released for another week right uh-huh probably what's your point are you so i guess i'm saying uh... curtain the red the red curtain and the red theater let me just

give you my let me just give you my Oscar roundup for the actual Academy words. Can's keeping in mind, this is the morning of the Academy words. You okay, Dan? I've had a cough for like two months. Okay. Well, make sure to do it on Mike. I yeah, yeah, actually turned away from the microphone. Well, I still heard it really loud. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, Dan, do you have a second mic? Do you have a mic under the table? If Elliot hadn't brought attention to it, we all could have lived our lives, but.

No, we all would have died because of your cough because you have the plague. Oh, okay. This is the hardest part of my job as an audio doctor. It sounds like you have the plague. I think you have exactly two hours to live. Just enough time to do our Oscar special. Because here's the thing, guys.

The Oscars were recording this the morning of. The Oscars won't air for a few hours, but here's my awards and review. One, best picture. Went to the wrong movie. Best actor, probably the wrong actor. Best screenplay probably went to the right person. And what about all those funny jokes?

Boy, where they lame. In memoriam, they left out a couple people that everybody misses. And also, it was too long. Guys, what's these long Oscar telecasts? That was eerily precinct or pressured. I don't remember how to pronounce it. Let's go.

Okay. So Dan, we watched a movie Oscar, right? The movie Oscar, starring Sylvester Sly still alone. And then, and what are we going to do with that movie, Oscar? We movie Oscars starring Sylvester Sly still alone. And then and what are we going to do with that movie Oscar? We're going to clarify. They sure are clarifying that it's Sly still alone and not Sylvester from the cracked magazine. Yeah.

Sylvester the cat. Uh-huh. Um, yes. Uh, yeah, we're watching an even more obscure, I'm scared thing. I mean, reviewing a cracked magazine. I mean, I, I, I think it's actually kind of appropriate that we're reviewing Oscar guys, not just because of the name, but actually this movie is nominated for a couple of awards.

It was nominated for multiple Razzie Awards. Yeah, voting one I do not agree with and we'll get to that. I think it's probably the same one that i don't agree with oh weird because normally the razzis are so on point i mean keeping in mind that of all the all all the words are fake and i say this is someone who just last weekend one a writer's guild award for the fake news with ted nelms it's on the comedy central website go see it just google fake news with ted nelms comedy central as someone who just wanted a word

words are all pretty much bunk but the razzis are the most bunk since there i don't even i know no who gives them out they're not there pointless they don't really go to the worst thing they go to like the most famous thing that they can find it's supposed to be bad but all sometimes they give them to good things what's that all about uh... i don't know what's ask alph. What's it all about? Alfie? Well,

it's me, Alfie. I don't really know much about the movie that I was in. I think I slept with a bunch of women. Anyway, well, it tells about the Rezzi's then, Alfie. The Raspberry Awards were started by a gentleman back in 1910, who was very upset about the quality of the flicker he just walked out of. I actually don't know much about that either. I've been bonked in the head by a coconut. I don't know what my whole deal is. I don't know anything about the razzis. I really should go to the doctor. So you're saying that so that so the premise of this is

that Michael Cain would have known quite a bit about the resi Awards if he hadn't been hit by the coconut. Who's Michael Cain? Oh, oh boy. Oh, this coconut injury goes deeper than we expected. Anyway, let's talk about this movie Oscar, shall we guys? Yeah, we're not fired up. This movie starts in fake movie land depression era. Everything looks super fake and fake.

It's in Chicago, right? a movie land depression era. Everything looks super fake and fake. It's in Chicago, right? It's 1931. It's probably Chicago, and everything looks like it's on a sound stage. The streets, the houses, everything. Which I said, I mean, I don't actually mind for this kind of movie. This movie is deliberately stylized. It's supposed to be like a screwball farce.

So like the fact that everyone's playing dress up doesn't bother me. But this movie, the flaw in this movie is not that it lacks realism. ballfars. So like the fact that everyone playing dress up doesn't bother me, but this this movie, the flaw in this movie is not that it lacks realism. Yes. It's not like I want to see the gritty real gangster days. Yeah. Like Johnny Dangerously. Which I feel like they probably shot a lot of this on the same sets as Johnny Dangerously. Uh, I wouldn't be surprised. I bet you'd probably be right. Um, so we beat our hero. Uh, still I still own these playing. I thought you were talking about Peter Regard.

Cause he is the first star that we see is Peter Regard, the pickle man from crossing Delaney. That's how you know you're about to watch a comedy. Uh, we see, I mean, he is a very funny performer, Peter. Yeah, I know. I was being serious. He's one of the people I like the most in this movie, actually. One of the, he's like five or six people, I think, really do well.

But anyway, I mean, this movie has an amazing cast. Yeah. Okay, so let's keep the counter going. Number one person out of the five that Dan liked. Peter regered. Okay. Okay, let's keep track of it. Now Dan, what is so much just alone's mobster name?

Because he's a dapper mobster. What's his name? His name is Snaps Proveloan. I'm laughing already. His name's after cheese. And so he goes out with his, this is actually, that's one of those jokes. That's one of those current event jokes that is lost to us now because at the time they just invented cheese snaps which is how you would connect

two pieces of cheese to make a sandwich out of them like the snaps and so people are like oh snaps provolo and that's funny because now it is snaps to connect our cheese but that joke is lost to us now because we don't use that technology anymore. It's like how in fellowship of the ring where Boramir picks up the shards of Narsil and he cuts his finger on it and he says still sharp with just both a joke about his ad campaign for I think Gillette where he cuts his finger on a razor and also because Sean Bean played the character Richard Sharp from the Sharps rifle series. Now, Ellie, yeah, yeah.

Ellie, you said we don't use snaps to keep our cheese together anymore. What do we use to keep our cheese together these days? Oh, cheese, velcro. Okay. Anyway, so- It's called cheese, cro, or velvita. And it's like a, it's just velcro that you attach to your cheese and it holds it together in a sandwich.

Guys, do you have to use, do you have to have to have- Do you have to have your- Have you ever- No, you've been a stewed for a while, do you? I've been. Okay. I'll do a bit. So wait, how do you, do you need to use cheese snaps to keep the velcro connected to the cheese? No, you use cheese glue to hold the velcro on.

Come on guys, this is not new technology. Hey, is this ever happened to you? I want to eat a cheese sandwich, but it keeps falling apart. Well no more. Now it's time for new cheese velcro, cheesegrove, or velvita, as we call it, not associated with the spread velvita. That's a different thing.

Now, cheese velcro holds your cheese together and it makes a delightful tearing and ripping sound as if the fabric of the universe was coming apart when you remove it from the cheese. It's perfectly edible as long as you don't have too much of it, because the glue is highly toxic. So just have like a little bit of that. But the Velcro itself is fine. It's made out of corn or something probably because the government subsidies. Anyway, cheese Velcro hold your sandwich together today. Now, have you ever had this problem?

My loose meat sandwich is too loose. The meat keeps falling out rolling along the floor. That's why we have new meat crow. It's Velcro for little pieces of meat. Now guys, it is not good for you. Do not eat it, but we're working out the bugs and someday we hope to have an edible version. And I just want to throw in there. You didn't put in this disclaimer, but under no circumstance, you want to use cheese crow on meat because you will have no no good gut melts. No, no, no, no, no, that is very bad idea. Very bad. For reasons I'm not allowed to say because of a lawsuit. So anyway, so

snap. Snap's provolone goes upstairs with his entourage to including transpolumentary, including shespa on matari number two, number two of the people I like. Oh, he has he has my one favorite joke in the movie. So that's flown as my second favorite joke in a movie, but we'll get to it.

Um, and they're going up to see a dying man, lo and behold, it's Kirk Douglas. Oh, wow. He's snaps his father and he's dying and he's ashamed that snaps has been a gangster all these years. Kirk Douglas, we went on to live. I mentioned many years after this move.

The priestess Ralph Bellamy. Is that where you're going to say? Yeah, he should know know Donna Michi. Donna Michi, sorry, the other one. As the other one, they were like two movies together. Sorry, Donna Michi. But it's true that at the time Kirk Douglas was already an old man. Yes.

But now he is a much older man and thankfully he's still with us. So Kirk Douglas snaps his father, makes a snaps promise that he will go straight and he does this by method of slapping him several times. That's what his gangster nickname slaps. Yeah. Because he loves slap bracelets. Cut to one month later. Oh, why?

Wait, no, Dan. Cut to a claymation opera song. Oh, yeah, aside from the Barbara Seville. I'm right. Yes, cut to the most inexplicable use of claymation since better off dead. The opening credits are just brought projected onto a screen as a claymation opera singer sings,

what's the, in fact, totem, whatever that song is from, from the barber of Seville the figure of song and he's really belting it and I gotta say it's great claymation you never see this character again and I really missed him. Do you think yeah if he had shown up at the very end of the movie do you think people like that? I mean I was waiting for him to pop out a snap his pocket as his little magic friend like that gofer from the punky Brewster cartoon

Yeah, it never happened Okay, so sorry about that. I've missed the most important character But now the thing is and this also, you know, it's always fun to watch it's always fun to watch a slightly older movie Because I like watching the longer credit sequences and being like oh, oh that person. Oh, it's nice to see that person. Yeah So snaps Monthly later is he's trying to go straight. Huh? He's a sleep and bed and I don't know if we need this many details Well, but the point is like he gets awoken by someone saying it's a matter of life and death and But the point is like he gets awoken by someone saying it's a matter of life and death and

Which we come to find out is true or not so this this this is the day snaps is gonna meet with some bankers Yes, buy into their bank and go straight as a banker rather than a gangster Now listeners of today would be like what's the difference? There is no difference both of them are horters of capital who use their power to no difference. Both of them are hoarders of capital who use their power to oppress those who have less capital and who the legal system has been designed to protect the holders of that power. But Dan, continue. I like it. Great. Now all of our banker listeners are going to be turning off the podcast and then writing me reviews about us right after they get done writing a mean review about Captain Marvel, a movie they haven't seen yet.

Yes. Oh, and Dan, who's playing the police chief who's out to get snaps? about Captain Marvel, a movie they haven't seen yet. Yeah. Oh, and Dan, who's playing the police chief who's out to get snaps? Oh, Kurt would submit. Hell yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Who spends most of the movie and that 70 show. I feel like he spends most of the movie

shooting pigeons off a ledge. He must have had like the most easy shooting of this whole movie. At the end, he comes in and he has a little business to do, but otherwise, he's just looking through binoculars out of a fake window for the entire film. And yelling into a phone. So, they probably shot most of his scenes in one day, I'm guessing. So, Dan, this person's there in a matter of life and death.

What's going on? Well, it's a young accountant who I never quite understood whether I was supposed to sympathize with him or not because he's there on a mission of love, but as we learn later on, he keeps stealing money from snaps and does not seem to be that upset about any of it. So I'm like, this guy seems kind of a dick. And he's a tall handsome guy.

And so it's kind of tough to sympathize with those characters in movies. Yeah, exactly. His name is Anthony. So we can refer to him as that as we go on. Anthony is there. Sorry, I think that legally I'm supposed to always say, Anthony.

Or Anthony. Yeah. Now Anthony was there to ask for a raise because he is in love. And he asked for a significant raise from Mr. Snaps, his boss, and... Mr. Prove Alone. Mr. Prove Alone, Snaps, for short.

And... It's like Mr. Snaps is like a maid in a sitcom would call someone by Mr. and their first name. That's true. And it becomes, and. Who was Anthony in love with? Well, it turns out that what turns out, who do we think it is?

It turns out that he's in love with snaps his daughter, which in rage is snaps. Uh huh. Although he's not allowed to murder him because he's going straight. This is his day where he's got. And so every time his gangsters run in with a gun, he takes their guns away. Yeah. Because he doesn't want them shooting anybody. And this eventually ends with Chez Pulmatory running in with a, with like a, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the quarter of a chicken.

Into their turkey or chicken running in and using pretending that's a gun, which is pretty funny joke. I got to say, all the Paul Matarias stuff is pretty funny. And there was a brief moment when I saw him run in there and I'm like, I get why people love having guns because they're delicious chicken legs. Yeah, I would. That's my favorite kind of gun, chicken leg. So okay, I'll just, Dan, I'll just say, so in snaps is like,

you don't make enough money, you can't, you can't be with my daughter. And he says, that's okay, I've embezzled $50,000 from you, and I'm going to give it to your daughter when we get married. And snaps is mad about all this. And not in the call riser mad about you, that means I like you sort of way. Now, mad in the Sylvester Stallone's voice goes from kind of low to very loud in a, uh, the space of one sentence. Yes. But, snaps being even though he's going straight, like even over and above the fact that he's

going straight, he seems like a very reasonable gangster because he's like, after a while he's like, okay, you embezzled $50,000 for me, but you're going to give it to my daughter. Same's fair. Uh, and so- For the reasons of the plot, snaps must be okay with this for the moment. Yeah. So he's mostly okay. I mean, he makes Anthony go like walk around the block, will he talk to his daughter and like clears everything up because he's also mad that it turns out the two of them are lovers, which especially at the time, he's not happy about. Yeah.

And he goes, yeah, tell us about the daughter. He goes up to see his daughter, who turns out to be played by Merce Tomei, who is the third person I liked in the movie. And the person I liked the most in this movie and was very angry to see that she got a Razzie Award nomination. Here's my theory about that. So she is, she is very good in this movie, playing a very irritating character, kind of like a loud, petulant flapper. And I think the Razzy Awards were like, this character's irritating. So we're gonna give her a bad,

we're gonna give her a bad actress award. How dare she sit in bed and read Lady Chatterle's lover. And listen to Cab Callaway music. But this was I think her first movie, Oscar. Oh yeah, she is so charming in it. And like even even with what you're saying about her being like kind of a like an irritating character, but she's also like super lovable. Like yeah, she's very good.

It reminds me of how after she won the Oscar for my cousin Vinny, people were like, that was a mistake. That couldn't have been real. And it's like, why? Because she's hilarious in it. Because she gives a hilarious, like nuanced performance in it. Like it makes me mad just to think about it.

And like steals every scene she's in. Yeah. And she's not stealing scenes from just anybody. She's stealing scenes from Herman Munster, guys. I remember, I, so when I- She's taking her life in her hands. Yeah, you would expect Herman Munster to come down and rip her limb from limb. Like you did on the show, right? Yeah, life in her hands. Yeah, you expect her, her man must have come down and rip her limb from limb.

Like you did on the show, right? I remember when, when my wife and I first started dating my wife, who is, you know, born and raised in Brooklyn, when I, we had been dating for a couple of months, and I went back to Indiana to visit my parents. I remember one night watching my cousin Vinnie just because it made me feel close to this woman. I just started dating. That's right. Sweet. Yeah. So, so Dan, Marisa Tomei, she's a real flapper girl of the 20s in 1931. Yeah. And snaps is stifling her. He, he won't let her live the life she wants. So what does she do, Dan? Well, because

she, she wants to get out of the house, so she keeps saying, and marry someone, marrying someone is her best ticket out of that stifling house. She at the suggestion of the maid, her tends to be pregnant. She says she's pregnant. So I like this maid because she brings a different accent to the table. She's Irish everyone. Hooray. St. Patrick's Day is coming up. I love being comfortable. Just like blank standards that that would listen to.

I mean, I don't, I mean, what does that have to do with it? I mean, I guess even if someone's listening to this late, I guess St. Patrick Day is still coming up eventually. Uh, yeah. The inexorable, inexorable march of time brings St. Patrick's Day to our door once again. This, not to get onto a hot take, guys, that might offend people at St. Patrick's Day is one of those holidays where I'm like,

why does everyone give a shit about this? Like, I totally get why Irish people would love to have a day to celebrate Being Irish and all you know all the great poetry and And other things that that has to do with but why should I care like why do I have to care? Do Elliot's angry because he's part snake and snakes The same better next day. Well, that's the other thing is that it's it should be called actually I won't even go to that joke never mind. That would have been politically great, but I will say that

it should be called, actually, I won't even go into that joke. Never mind. That would have been politically correct, but I will say that, uh, that guys, yeah, why are we celebrating the lack of snakes in a place that desperately needs snakes? Have you ever opened up a can of peanut brittle in Ireland? There's just peanut brittle inside. Yeah, nothing jumps out at you. What would be in it? Like a totally real estate snake. Oh, okay. Totally real estate snakes. But yeah, Dan, so you tell me your part, Irish, right? Your last name's McCoy. Yeah, Scott's Irish. Yeah.

So okay, sorry. I, it's a rich pen, yeah, it's a rainbow of different cultures in there. Huh. Uh, uh, uh, uh, from white to slightly more white. So why would, why should I, a Jewish person who has no Irish blood in me care about St. Patrick's Day? Why do I have to wear a green and get pinched if I don't? Which isn't assault, sir?

An assault on my bachelor's son. I've actually got a point. Elliot, don't you treasure all the larny we've brought into your life? I don't know what larnia is. I know there's enough to make a stone out of it. I imagine it's a kind of like a sticky's a kind of like like a sticky, like a sticky fruit snack or something like that. Uh-huh.

Oh, so you study Ireland. Let's get back to the movie. Okay. Social protection. The Irish made this pregnant. Yes. But oh, Dan, who's going to show up and throw a monkey wrench into the proceedings? I can only imagine.

Wait, I'm not sure. Is that we're talking about Teresa? Is it Eddie Bracken? I don't really. There's another mention. Eddie Bracken plays a stuttering informant who's calling everybody up. I love Eddie Bracken. We've talked about that on the podcast before. Big fan of his.

So I'm in a play once. He's in one of my favorite movies in real estate. Mortgage Creek. I don't. So I don't remember the order of a lot of these things. I'll be honest with you. So let's just go to Teresa. Okay, okay.

We don't, we don't learn the true, I mean, okay, if he says Paramore at this point, it's okay if you don't remember the structure because structure isn't that important in a French Varse, right? No, you can just kind of jumble the jokes together and it works. So snaps are entry point character, the, As we've all been a gangster going straight, he now thinks that Anthony has impregnated his daughter and that he and Anthony has this $50,000. But then another woman shows up and what does she say to snap Stan in a strangely flat

end in an acting style that clashes with everybody else in the movie. Yeah, I have to say, I don't want to get down on individual actors. But you do want to get down and get funky, right? I do. I want to get down on the floor, everybody walked the dinosaur. You do want to get on the scene like a sex machine. Yeah, but this woman, this is going be a harsher than it sounds. I looked her up on IMDB to see if she had ever been anything else because her performance is so much flatter than anyone else's.

It's very, and I think they are trying to, with her, I think they were trying to go with she's more of a like, she's not part of this gangster life. So, yes, she like, is more of a good girl sort, but she, yeah, she's not part of this gangster life. So I guess she like is more of a good girl's sort, but she, she comes off very, every time she enters the scene her performance style is just so much slower and, and like calmer than everybody else's and it really throws off the scenes. Yeah. But anyway, she comes through to the that she is in love with Anthony. She has been pertaining to be snaps his daughter which seems ridiculous on the way they annunciate. Yeah. There was a misunderstanding that's too stupid to explain.

But like she's been pertaining this all the time and that's why Anthony's come looking to marry Teresa. Yeah. She thought Anthony was a rich accountant and she thought he's not going to date a girl who's not rich. So I've had her pretend to be the daughter of the most famous gangster in town. Meanwhile it turns out that Lisa is actually her boyfriend had been Oscar, the chauffeur who has been fired at this point.

And we later find out has skipped the country. And we later we later find out that he is played by one of the script writers. Oh yeah. Oh, I didn't realize that Okay, so In order to get back his jewels, which he now knows are like not gonna come back to him Oh, no, it's not jewels yet, Dan. It's $50,000 in cash Which Anthony has told at some point tells him oh, I put them in the form of jewels, which I'm gonna give to

Which I'm gonna give to your daughter who I'm in love with, that's not really. So, snaps is like, I need this money back. And I also, and his wife says, our daughter's pregnant, you've gotta find a husband for her. And let me just say, I don't usually like to make these kinds of comments,

but the actress playing snaps his wife is so incredibly beautiful that it like every scene she's in, I'm like, I can't buy her as silly. She's beautiful in that way that certain Italian actresses are like that Sophia Loren type way. And I was like, you need to get a less beautiful actress

for this part because. I mean, she was in Flash Gordon, dude. I mean, and they're probably a problem too as well. It was just really throwing me off. But I was startled each time we she was on by how much her real glamor beauty clashed with the kind of fake old style of the movie. Yeah, no, I had to look her up and I was like, is it Bella Rosalini have a sister? What's going on here?

But yeah, she's a lovely lady. She does have a sister, Dizzy Bella Rosalini have a sister? What's going on here? But like, yeah, she's a lovely lady. She does have a sister, Dizzy Bella Rosalini. And she's kind of like the goofy clumsy is a Bella Rosalini. That's how she's available, is because she's so clumsy. And that shows that even though she's beautiful, she's relatable because she's so clumsy. And that's why the goofball hero can attain her.

Before we move on, this is not particularly important to the plot, but what we have not mentioned that also because snaps is meeting with these bankers, he has the Fenucci brothers, is that their name? Yeah, the Fenucci's, or the Fenucci's, I think. Fenucci's, I think it's Fenucci because I had the closed captions on. And there are, So Fenucci brothers.

They're famous Italian, of suit, tailors, and they're so fun. Newtchy brothers, they're famous Italian, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, suit tailors, and they're making a suit for snaps. And one of them is Harry Shierer. And one of them is one of the guys from Jurassic Park. I can't remember his name, but they're very, very, very funny too. They're like, also people I think are very funny. David Edinburgh. Yeah. Uh, sorry, Richard at in burrow, not David at in burrow, Richard at in burrow is dead. Uh, Laura Dern, uh, not David at bro Richard at and bro is dead. Uh huh. Laura Dern, uh, Newman from Seinfeld.

Wayne Knight. Samuel Jackson. Uh huh. Is it a Raptor? It's all of them. Is he played by a Raptor day? They all went into Jeff Goldblum's fly machine and got met merged together. That was a real machine.

Oh, wow, Jeff Goldblum got the patent on it. I also like the idea that it was a fly machine that he was intentionally trying to do. But I have to know. He kept teleporting himself going like, still no flies. Damn. Now, here's the thing. Do you think they built a real working teleportation machine

just for the realism of it? And then the studio was like, we cannot ensure this movie. If you're using a real teleportation machine, you better build a fake one. The insurance bills are gonna be through the roof. Yeah, anyway. So anyway, he's getting a suit made by the Fannucci brothers. Yeah, that's a fun little bit of business that's fun.

But so it's basically a chance for Harry Shier to do a lot of like a shut up a u-face type jokes. Yeah, exactly. So I'll just say this part real quick. Snaps manages to swindle that bag of jewels back from the accountant, but in the meantime, the accountant is like, oh, what I needed that money, I need that money and Teresa overhears it and storms out because she thinks that he cares about the money more than her. Well, is this, is this the moment where they sign different papers? I feel like there's all this business with like exchanging bags and signing

contract. That Anthony signs a paper saying I am the father of snaps his daughter's baby and snaps signs a paper that says Anthony can have what $50,000 or so. Anthony can have a raise, I don't remember what it is. There's a lot of like that first business where there's objects that are changing hands. I just think it was important to make clear that Anthony's size is paper saying he's the father of this baby because that's how snaps then

tries to wrangle him into marrying Mercedome to give this unborn child that does not exist a father. And he also says that the fanuchis are famous assassins. And he'll send them after him. And this is there's a thing here where the fanuchis, they're really proud that one of their suits was in the newspaper. And so they have an article about a gangster who was murdered, wearing one of their suits. And then, and Anthony is talking to him, they're like, oh, you, they're very proud of their work. They consider themselves artists,

and they say, take a look at this, and they show him that article. And he takes it as more proof that they are assassins and carry around their press clippings. And I'm like, all right, that wasn't like hilarious, but it's like a clever callback. Yeah, I was one of the better far school wheel wheel spittings of the movie, I think. Do you want to talk about how that turns into a kind of random jazz piano sequence

where Anthony and the new chief brothers are playing jazz piano together? I mean, it's not really pertinent to the plot, but it is a lot of fun. It's basically excuse for Harry's year to like wave his finger in the air as if he's listening to it. It's like a hop in tune. Yeah. That was one of the few moments in that, that was like after the Claymation opera singer, that was the moment the movie where I was like, what? It was, it was amazing to see Harry Shier act because as we all know in real life, he cannot feel joy.

So to see that happen was wow, wow really harsh Dan He's given you so much enjoyment over the years. He has his spinal tap the Simpsons the the voice of that stormtrooper in the original Star Wars his lengthy unfunny radio show. Oh wow Oh God look I just want to make clear to Harry Shere the opinions of Dan McCoy do not represent the opinions of the Vlov house No, I love Harry Shere. I just find that radio show inexplicable. But you don't have to listen to it. No, the government is the blast to get in to my house. They're trying to get me to leave my apartment, but I'm not going to do it anyway.

That was a weird thing to say. So Anthony meets the daughter. meets Marissa Tome. Yes. Do they like each other? What? No, they do not. They don't hand it off at all. They don't.

They don't kid it off, no. No. So all right, this is where I lose the thread a little bit. So as around now that they introduce an additional character in the form of Tim Curry playing Dr. Poole. Yes. Snaps his Elecution teacher Who is a doctor of what language? He's like he's a real Henry Haggit type. He's a doctor of speakology

Yeah, he can like Henry Higgins. He can guess where anyone's from based on their accent Yeah, Anthony decides this is the guy who I'm gonna, I'm gonna have Pom Lisa off on. Yeah, because she dreams he's saying the world. This lonely young hunk, Tim Curry. Yes. And now, Dan, I think you're maybe the world's number one Tim Curry fan, correct? Sure, let's say, for the purpose of this,

let's say that's true. Did it feel as strange to you as it to me when even knowing that Tim Curry was in the movie from seeing his name in the credits when he suddenly appeared, bring an English accent with him. I will say that this is going to sound like such an insult about like a person's appearances. Tim Curry is a unique looking fellow, but I've never seen

him looking weirder than in this movie. They really make him look kind of strange. Yeah. And that's keeping in mind that his first major breakthrough role that I can think of was as a cross-dressing vampire from outer space. Yes. And here he looks like even that, if I saw Dr. Frank

and a ferdor walking down the street, I'd be like, all right, but if I saw Dr. Poole walking down the street, I'd be like, that guy's got some weird issues. But anyway, if I saw Dr. Frank and fredder walking down the street, I'd pick him up and carry him around because I'm wearing a gold underpants. Yeah. So at this point, it's important to wearing a gold underpants. So they call it, right? At this point, it's important to wearing a gold underpants. So they call it, right? At this point, it's important to note that there's some far school business involving identical bags and the made leaving for your job.

Was this back in the day when they only had one kind of bag, Dan? I'm hairly, because there are three identical bags in this movie. But all this black doctor's vellies type bag. And one of them has underpants in it. One of them has jewels, and is there a third one? identical bags in this movie. All this black doctor's valise type bag. And one of them has underpants in it. One of them has jewels and is there a third one? Third one has cash.

Crash, okay. 50,000 dollars of cash. And so the maid is leaving and all she takes is her underpants. Yeah. I guess she has one set of clothing and the rest is just underpants. So this comes into play because snaps

is trying to convince Dr. Poole to marry Marissa Tome and to sweeten the deal. He's gonna give him a bunch of money so he can help his mom so he can start an institute and he Dumps the bag on the table thinking that jewels are gonna spray out money, but it's in fact ladies underwear Uh-huh, and now this is the first of several times when people empty bags thinking money will be in it and it's just ladies underwear. Yeah. Each time, does it get funnier each time, Dan? I will actually say, for me, it got funnier

the second time and much less funnier the third time. That's fair. Now, Anthony has told Lisa, Marisa Tomey, that Dr. Poole loves her. And Dr. Poole is open to the idea of getting money for his institute. He seems more devoted to his mother than anything else. Yeah.

So I don't know. So then the final shit happens. Okay, those bags, I only want to take three over a second. Yeah. Okay, those bags keep getting mixed up. There's a couple times where Stallone tells Chas Pometry, hey, look at, watch this bag. Don't let it get out of your where Stallone tells Chas Pomerotary, hey, look

at, watch this bag. Don't let it get out of your sight. And then Chas Pomerotary gets distracted by something in Peter Reeger, switches it with another bag, knowing there's money in it. Like the show for the German show for a get sent back to get the maids bag, because the maid is actually marrying the rich banker that Silvestre Sloan originally wanted his daughter to marry. Speaking of Ch, volunteering, getting things mixed up. He runs into the room once with a gun and Sylvester Sloan's like snaps like, give me your gun, what did I say? Give me all the guns.

And so he unloads all of these guns and weapons. And I- This is the best joke in the movie. I have to expect him to like pull out a DVD copy of Airplane. It was like the most like Zuckerman brother style joke. It was like for so long. Like and in any other movie I'd be like this is going on too long. It's going to slowly. But for some reason the weird pacing of it and the insistence on continually cutting

to more and more reaction shots made an extra funny to me. This is the one part of the movie that is structured and cut and shot properly. I feel like the pacing is perfect. It's very deliberate in the way that old movie stuff often is where it's like, you see the joke coming. Here it is. You see it again. Here it is. And it's funnier because you know it's going to keep coming.

But there's the added twist of the weapons he's pulling out are increasingly bizarre. Like it ends with him ending out with ending with a bundle of sticks of dynamite with a with a timer on it and the clock is ticking like that. That's gonna explode. So he's got all these guns. He's got knives, press knuckles, a grenade, I think at one point and like it's that was the one joke in the movie where I was like, oh, you figured out how to tell a joke in

this movie. The other one is there's a part where, so that's just alone takes the Fnuchee brothers into his study to get his suit done. And of course, it's like the library and beauty and the beast. There's wall to wall, ceiling to floor books everywhere. And they go, oh, so many books. And so that's just alone so casually just goes,

ah, well, reading is my passion. It's like, and I thought that was so funny. It was such a funny delivery of that. It was like, oh, that's the casual. This movie doesn't know when to be casual and it doesn't know when to be deliberate. And instead, it's just kind of frantic, but not frantic enough in the way that late 80s, early 90s,

movies move surprisingly slowly. Like everything is kind of as if they're underwater. And this chess momentary taking the weapons out of his coat, it was like so beautifully done. I was like, oh, this, I should not, yeah, I should not like this, but I think it's so funny. So, uh, but anyway, this is about the point, uh, oh, what a gun. But I was gonna say, this is about the point that, uh,

there's all this bags being moved around a little. And this is about the point when Lisa actually meets Dr. Poole. And what happens? Uh, they fall for each other. They are into it. And this is also a Y Chas Pongmentary, misses the back being switched because he's looking out the window.

This big lug of a guy turns out to be a real romantic. He's looking out the window and a single tear rolls down his cheek out of happiness, seeing these two young lovers. Well, one young lover and one middle aged lover together, having a, having a quiet moment and kissing. And that's when Peter Reeger swoops in and swaps the bags, leading to a bag full of underwear being dumped on a desk again.

Yes, that was, that was the part that I actually found funny when, when it happened to the second, the same person the second time, I think the reason why it's less funny the third time is just like a new guy. when it happened to the same person the second time, I think the reason why it's less funny the third time is just like a new guy, but like just like the repetition of like, oh, okay, forget the last time when I dumped out those underwear. Here's the one I was really gonna give you. More underwear.

And Tim Curry reacts to it like, oh yes, look at all this money you've dumped out in front of me. Here's a beautiful piece of money and here's another piece of money. Yeah. And so, Yeah, he likes you.

He likes you, Fio's, the underpants, right? Now, I will say the running gag with Chaz Pomerotary's character and other ones that I did not enjoy was, snaps almost instantly starts referring to Teresa as his daughter for some reason I don't understand. He kind of thinks he can sweep it all into the rug as long as he takes care of this Teresa option. So he'll be like, I gotta find, he's gotta marry my daughter.

Lisa? No, Teresa, the other daughter. You got another daughter boss? That happens probably 40 times in this movie. You know what, I didn't know you had another daughter. I don't. And it's like, what? It's just like, steps.

Why don't you take a moment, take a breath, sit down, explain what's happened. Don't just be like, Dan, actually Dan, if I could, if I could stop in for just a moment. Slice the room. It's me, slice the loan, star of the movie Oscar

and also judge Dread, I am the law. Uh, now Daniel, you haven't made a complaint that can often be made of many Fawcies, that if a character's only stop for a moment and explain the proceedings, people would know what was going on, and there wouldn't be all this confusion, and maybe the Fawcicle laughs would die down, and instead of a big problem, where people are slamming doors and running around, they just sell things very quickly.

It's kind of the same thing I say when I'm watching Curb Your Enthusiasm, starring Lawrence David, in which, oh very. When there's so many times when all Lawrence has to do is apologize even if he don't mean it, and the problem will go away, but he's just so damn stubborn,

he just won't do it. And he gets into trouble and I'm like Lawrence Maybe you should curb your enthusiasm Because in trouble very frustrating for the audience. That's what I'm trying to say, you know, it's just a Yeah, that's true. That's true. Dan that's true. Now what really is that you got to believe that far Exist in a kind of different space a kind of far space in which logic is more important than a kind of far space in which logic is more important than, uh, reality. Is that a way I could put it? Does that make sense?

And so each far cement is such a dramaturg background. I also, I also didn't realize until just now how much Sylvester Stallone sounds like Natasha Leoni. Oh, yeah, I was her, I was her, I was her Elecution teacher. Oh, awesome. Great. Uh, Dan, I actually chair the drama department at Yale University. Oh, yeah, I was her, I was her Elecution teacher. Oh, awesome. Great. Dan, I actually chair the drama department at Yale University. Oh, wow.

Okay. Right. I teach a class called Fars or Farts, in which I talk about the two main types of humor. There's the classical type of humor in which it is a chain of events that is intricately linked, and there's also the crass toilet sort of humor. Oh, okay. And they both have their place in the theater. I see. events that is intricately linked and there's also the crass toilet sort of humor. Oh, okay. And they both have their place in the theater.

I see. I imagine that you were just showing your class a farce and then playing an audio recording of a fart and asking them to identify which is which. Oh, so you took the class. Oh, that's the final. That's the final exam. People pass it. Great.

I mean, I guess the brag on you is a teacher exam people pass it great I mean I guess it's a brag on you as a teacher people pass it yeah well I mean that's good I mean it shows they've learned the difference between noises off and like a particularly wet fart when confronted with both of them I mean yeah I would be noises on I guess guess, in that case. Very good Stuart, very good extra credit. Now, I didn't know you'd enroll. Yeah. Oh, wow, this is an interesting university. Yeah, yeah, it's Yale.

It's an Ivy League college. So called because we shot the movie Poison Ivy there, starring Drew Barrymore. The sequels were shot at other universities. That's what the Ivy League means. So Poison Ivy II with Alissa Milano, that was shot at Harvard, and Poison Ivy the new seduction with Jamie Pressley was shot at Brown. Wow, that's a pedigree. Now, yeah, yes. Now, Dan, so I guess what I'm saying is you have put your finger on the most prevalent criticism

of the farce form, but at a certain point, don't you have to accept the rules of the dramaturgical form upon which you are enjoying? All right, I suppose a willing suspension of disbelief is in order. Yep, that's my teaching assistant. Willy suspension, I disbelieve. Willy's been with me for a long time and a someday he'll finish his doctorate. Yep, that's my teaching assistant Willie suspension I just believe Willie's been with me for a long time and a someday he'll finish his doctor it Rachel marks just walk Yeah, he's been feeding me lines

Well guys, I got to go I've been talks to make a movie called Oscar 2 Too fast to Oscar and it's the story of, well, you'll find out when it's another adventure in the life of that lovable tale, love a little character that America came to fall in love with Oscar, which the director John Landis, he told me that Oscar was the, yeah, well, they just start calling my character Oscar. Like the way that Nick Charles became the thin man, even though he wasn't the thin man in the voice movie Yeah, this is an interesting promotional copy for Oscar to Oscar to so anyway a John Landis told me that Oscar was the number one box office head of 1991

And I don't know why it's taken almost 30 years to make the sequel, but we've been I guess he's been working on the screenplay It's like a son. He's got a son max on it. So I assume there's gonna to be a lot of high concept bullshit in it. But we'll figure something out. Wow. Well, sound pretty excited. Okay. Well, thanks for dropping by as you occasionally do. Yeah. Well, what else are we going to do today? I guess I don't know. Yeah. And I suppose that's going to be. Maybe we should take in like a Broadway show. Well, I don't. Yeah. I mean, I guess we could stop the podcast saying and go to a Broadway show. Well, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I guess we could stop the podcast and go to a Broadway show. No, let's keep the podcast running. You guys seen this Hamilton.

I've heard a lot about it. Yeah. I mean, yeah, we both seen it. Yeah. Oh, you don't wait for me. Thanks, I guess. Thanks for no thanks. I mean, I think you can see the second time.

It's got a different cast at this point. Oh, great. Well, I'll just sit on the couch and be silent for the rest of the show. Thanks. Close my eyes and take a nap until you're ready to leave. Okay, great. Elliott, you won't believe what just happened. I heard it. And I'm all the way over here on the other side of the country. Oh, wow. It's ridiculous. I just keep missing him.

Yeah, I got to start locking my door. Well, I think he'll just break through. He's a mountain of a man. Yeah, he's very strong. So, okay. So, Dan, I'm going to take the wheel for just a moment. Lisa, Dr. Fool, have hit it off. Snaps, he reconnects Anthony Teresa and he gets the jewels back. And Snaps learns that so the maid has left, so they hire a new maid. And who does this new maid turn out to be, Dan? this new maid turn out to be Dan? This new maid turns out to be someone that snaps new from the old days when he first was in the business, the business being a criminal and they had had a little love connection back in the day and it turns out that she is the mother of Teresa. And he is the father of Teresa.

So it does have two daughters after all. In the most in the most pushing of suspension of disbelief thing, I think has ever happened in a movie ever. Even more so than the Venom symbiot just landing next to Spider-Man in a parking in Spider-Man 3, we find out that Teresa actually was snaps his real daughter. Yeah. And so snaps gives Anthony is blessing to marry his daughter like because he's proven that he truly loves her because earlier on he gave up the money. We didn't talk about that, but it happened. And so everyone's getting married.

And he sends Peter Regard out of the room to get some champagne and that's just when the bankers walk in and he's like, X-Nay on the ampane, Shay, because it's during prohibition. Now normally, normally you'd know, bankers show up and you're like, oh, I have a soft spot for bankers. They're nice guys, but one of the bankers is played by William Atherton, so you know they're jerks. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's going to shut down the Ghostbusters loan after this. And so the bankers, we've seen them throughout the movie meeting. I assume it's this meeting that they've had.

I assume is like 14 hours long. And they're just, I don't want to be in business with gangsters. blah blah blah. They think they're above snaps provolone. Just because snaps provolone is a murderous criminal who made his money off of stealing and killing and breaking the law Yeah, and this is it's one it's one of those things where we're supposed to be like I just said we are so vestiglone super charismatic and will you matter to none of those guys are just not quite as charismatic as

So vestiglone so we're on the gangster side, but it is like in real life It's like mmm. I kind of would want my bank to not be comfortable just getting into bed with a criminal Who has decided not to be a criminal anymore and wants to go scot free I mean guys it's like it's undercut by the occasional like Like racist against Italians epithet uttered by the bankers That's true. I mean they are bad guys and they hate they hate poor people and stuff like that like they're they're a caricature of of the rich Yes, so they have this meeting and the fact that all these besuited men have walked into Snapses House, give his Kurt Wood Smith the chance to say, give it the go ahead, we're going in,

we're getting all the, we're getting to get the press. Like he thinks that they're another gang meeting for a teta tet. He thinks it's the old banan gang. Yeah. And so they go in and he goes in and he very confidently asserts that various bankers are various gangsters, which seems weird because I feel like he would have known what those gangsters look like. Yeah. This is after Anthony has noticed in the bankers contract that they are trying to screw snaps out of his money. Yeah. For the money he's giving to have a stake in the bank, he won't have a seat on the board

and he can be kicked out whenever they want. So the cops rush in, they go rest these gangsters. Yeah. And he goes, he goes, wait a second, this bag has all the money in it. We've been seeing it going in and out of the house this whole time. Let me, guys, get your cameras ready.

I'm gonna dump all this money out on the table. This will be the proof. But Dan, what comes out of that bag? Uh, ladies and mentionables. Oh, we can't mention them here on the podcast. The, the only way they could have, because this joke has happened a lot of times. And as he said, it's not funnier because it's happening to new people. But if Tim Curry had been there and been like tried to convince the new guys that it was money. I think it would have been funnier.

That would be funnier. I'll give you that. So you know, Kurt Wittsmith is made of fool. He leaves. He runs into other gangsters who actually work coming there to try and kill snaps. So he has a bit of a turnaround in his fortunes. He has something to show the from Paul Britt and Prince in mere moments.

Yeah, he catches all of them. And snaps is like, he offers Anthony a job as like the head of his organization, which means he's going back into criminality. And everyone cheers and he's like, I'm sorry, Dad, I tried. And I'm like, wait, are we supposed to be happy? He's becoming a gangster again, I don't understand.

And also, so that's the, looks the loan. Like none of the things that really screwed you up today were because you were going straight. Like it was all other like unrelated far school shenanigans. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, there's nothing to stop him from just starting a real, like starting a hardware store chain or something like that. Like, or like any, any, anything other than that one bank. So you think he should have announced this and then like a guy would have run in. And then he just like shot him or something. Yeah.

I mean, if you then started handing out guns to everybody, well, back in business boys, and they just start bringing in like stool pigeons, tied up, and things like that. And like, big casks of boot like, like, or like, they was all waiting just behind a door But then we cut to a double marriage both of the both of our couples are getting married Don and Michease there presiding over it the same snaps his house and then This guy runs in in army here and everyone's like who said it's like it's me Oscar and

And snap and snap is like get him out of here and I then they take who's that? It's like, it's me Oscar. And so, and so, I was like, get him out of here. And then they take him out, I assume to get shot. Yeah. Yeah, they're gonna murder him. Yeah. So, that's the happy ending. Oscar, our titular character, dead in a ditch somewhere. And as with every great Shakespeare comedy,

it ends with the couples united and the correct order of the universe has been established people in marriage and gangsters doing gangster stuff. Yep. So that was Oscar guys. Good stuff. No, we did it. Good stuff.

We did it. And the Oscar goes to the movie we watch because it's called Oscar. Now how many Dan how many Oscars was Oscar nominated for? I don't believe it was nominated for any. I think it was only nominated for like four razzies. I don't think it won any of them, unfortunately. Yeah. I wonder what won that year.

I'm going to look it up while we're talking, okay? Which, you let's see who won the razzie? Yeah. Because I don't think this movie deserved a rassy award. No, I mean, it's, I mean, it's, oh, yeah, wait, hold on, final judgment. Good bad movie, bad bad movie, movie, kind of like Stuart. Yeah, so, I don't know, like, it was fun to see a bunch of actors that I hadn't seen in a while.

I like that the rival mob boss has a manicurist who is the actress who does the voice for Harley Quinn in the cartoons. Oh wait, guys, hold on a second. This is the wrong year, but okay. So Hudson Hawk won the year afterwards at the rest of the worst picture. You know what it beat? What? Nothing but trouble.

That shows you how bad the razzies are. Nothing but trouble deserve that award. It's literally the worst movie in the history of everything. Give me 20 huts and hawks over that. But anyway, so you're saying, Stuart, you continue. So yeah, and I remember, I think I, this movie is playing on cable or something when I was a kid. So I watch it a couple times. I don't really remember it, but I have some affection for this movie.

It's a lot of like over-the-top Italian accents. It's a French vars, so it's kind of breezy. I think it's SAGS and the third act. But yeah, it's fine. Yeah, my feeling about it is there's a soup. It's got a super talented supporting cast. John Landis, even though he goes around murdering people with helicopters is a talented comedic director.

Man slaughtering, Dan. I think- And if you keep talking, it'll be Dan slaughtering. I think there are two issues. I think there are two issues with this movie. I think it could cut about 10 minutes from it. And it's got such a, I mean, it's got like clockwork farce plotting, so that seems hard, but I feel like there's a lot of scenes where they're just like,

let's cut to everyone for a reaction shot and you don't need that. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's the clockwork orange farce plotting. Where you have to see everybody watching it with their eyes spread wide open I'm able to look away. So there's that and I also feel like our weak link is our lead I know that you are a fan of mr. Salone Elliott But I feel like if you had say like Nathan Lane and the lead like a guy who's like still like kind of big and physically

Imposing but is like a far sky what Nathan Lane is what hold on a second dad have you seen Nathan Lane have you ever seen about the same person have you seen Stewart little dude I'm fucking mouse kills him he's a big guy and I've seen him play like imposing characters in like on stage like Dan I saw him in guys and dolls and he was not imposing and he was playing a gangster in that. All right, but you're not supposed to be that imposing. He's like the. You're thinking of like gangster lead though.

Dan, do you think of Lawrence Tierney? Are you thinking Dwayne, DJ, the rock Johnson? That specific thing I said. Dan, are you talking about Dolph Lundgren? Whoa. Forget that specific part of what I said. Nathan Lane would have made this movie work, I think. I think you probably, right.

I will say, this is a movie I kind of like. I think it's got a lot of issues. And my main problem with it is the pacing. Is that it's hard for me to dislike any movie that is trying to be a 1930s farce. And if it's like, the pacing is just a little too, so like you're saying, there's too many reaction shots. There's too much dead air around the jokes.

And I think Sylvester Sloan is not the problem. I could see someone like Nathan Lane doing it, but it would be a different type of character because then he wouldn't be imposing. He's the gangster mastermind, who's, but at that point, just have John Polito do it. If you're gonna have someone who's like a funny gangster type who's not supposed to be like a big strong man.

Or Joe Piscopo. But I was reading with this originally, they wanted Al Pacino. And instead he did Dick Tracy because it's gonna get paid more money for it. I don't think Al Pacino would have been better. Like I think Sylvester Stallone is a pretty good comedy performer.

And I think they, I think they, I think they originally were trying to put John Belushi in it before he died and then it sat on the shelf for 10 years. That would try to put in it. John Belushi, that would have been very strange. Yeah, that would have been weird. Like John Belushi has like a lot of charm, but it's like mostly kind of like a physical thing. Like, with the idea that he's kind of an out of control, slob gangster. He's like a gangster kingpin who's like a real, I mean, it wouldn't be him playing against type, I guess. But I think that it's like, if you, I wonder if there's a way to take this movie

and literally just put it into Final Cut and edit out a ton of it, and you'd have a stronger move. It still wouldn't be great, but you'd have a stronger movie overall. Guys, I've got a Razzie's update. Oscar was not even nominated for worst picture that year. It was nominated. I think just in the acting and directing categories, not for a worse screenplay, which is surprising because the screenplay is one of the issues here is that there it's not, there's just like, there's a lot of business in it, but it's not really funny business.

Yeah. So, somebody who, I say this is somebody who has tried to write Farses and fallen into the same trap of, oh, they're doing a lot of stuff, but it's not really that funny. So, I know how easy it is to fall into that trap. It's hard to do. Like, to write a really funny Farses really hard to do.

Yeah, well, look. Because you kinda, though, I think the problem is I do. No, I think that the, like, the problem with the screenplay of this is that, like, the plotting is kind of, like, the plotting is fine, like, like, the mix-ups and everything is fine, but the actual jokes within that are not funny. Well, and even the mix-ups are not that funny. It's like the way it's like.

But she was his daughter the whole time, dude. Well, I'm thinking more about every time they moved those bags around, I was like, God damn it. Can we stop with the bags already? Like, that's, I hate that stuff. But guys, Rezzie's update. So I would say it's a movie I kind of like,

but it's got a lot of issues. Rezzie's update. That was the year Hudson Hawk, one big. Wait, I thought that was the next year. Now, I was wrong, that was, it was that year, because Oscar was not nominated for worst picture that year. Instead, it was a big year for Hudson Hawk,

Kevin Costner, one for Robin Hood, for worst actor. Dan Acroix did win for worst supporting actor for nothing but trouble, so I agree with that. But get this, okay, worst original song, that's not what I was talking about. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that.

I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that.

I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking about that. I was talking they stop. Yeah. I listen that shit on cassette tape on repeat and I think I know a little more than razzies

about what makes a jam. Yeah. Also nominated for RIS original song. Why was I born Prince C's Freddy's dead from Freddy's dead the final night more? Nightmare. Yeah. Let's go get him, guys. Yeah.

Okay. Let's go get him guys. Yeah, okay. Let's go get him guys. So yeah, do we need to say anything more about the Oscar? No. It's just called Oscar. It's not called. I think there was a movie called The Oscar. Yes.

It was also supposed to be very bad. Yeah. And of course, there's Oscar Madison, who is not a movie, he's just a character, from another thing. Oh, thank you for clarifying that, Elliot. Yeah, so I think that's all we have to say about Oscar, a great movie, about run out and get to see it today, right?

Mm-hmm. Yep. ["The Love of the Love of the Love of the Love of the Love of the Love of the Love of the Love of the

Love of the Love of the Love of the Love of the Loveolo Moreno. And we're the host of Dr. Game Show, which is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners regardless of quality or content with in-studio guests and collars from all over the world. And you can win a custom magnet. A custom magnet. Subscribe now to make sure you get our next episode. What's an example of a game Manolo?

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and we tell you all about it. And we get all that funky stuff done to us. It's Ono Ross and Carrie. At MaximumFund.org. So let's go on to, uh, we don't have any corporate sponsors. Okay. We do have a couple of jumbo trams. Oh, cool.

That I sent to you guys. Uh, it looks like. Let's see who can get it first. Who can open their. Oh, faster. Well, I've got mine ready right now. So why don't I go ahead? Okay.

Here's a jumbo tron from them to you. Much review about nothing is a comedic podcast where three brothers try to review movies they haven't seen using only cultural osmosis and whatever they can find on the internet. So join your hosts, Billy, Jake and Luke as they don't watch movies, go on wild tangents and jump to ridiculous conclusions. Search for much review about nothing on iTunes and Spotify and subscribe. That sounds like a funny idea for a podcast. Guys, I'll check that out.

Guys, why didn't we come up with this premise? It would have been a lot less work. It would have saved us two to three hours a week, that's for sure. Yeah. And so much grief. This, I believe, is a message for Alan. It's not super clear. The message is from Ben and Tristan.

Last names withheld. Dear Alan, we're so sorry you had to leave us. But what do you expect when you live a perilous life of plain crashes, exotic avian disease, cars smashing into your home, and high-speed bike chases? We hope we never have to ask, what if Alan met a dinosaur? He'll up soon so we can get back to our goal of working on a movie worthy of being flopped. Alright. Uh, that sounds very exciting and also terrifying.

Yep. Yeah. Uh, so... That... Having been done. Uh-huh, now what do we do, Dan? We can move on. Uh-huh.

For the next thing. Yep. Which? Uh-huh, is what? Is. Uh-huh. Letters. Oh, okay. From let's? Okay, from let's just like you, let's hear who wrote in letters. Let's respond to them, shall we? The first yes, let's. Okay, thank you. The first one is from J middle name with hell, Jameson. Who writes? Okay, and just say no, no

way of knowing what letter that what that name starts with the middle name. Uh, dear freshly canned peaches. Uh-huh. I finally got around to seeing wreck four apocalypse. I think that's funny. This is finally got around to seeing. We all have to see wreck four apocalypse at some time in our life. Boys. Yeah.

And this guy finally got around to doing it. Uh, anyway, like the third movie, it does away with the found footage format. Also, like the third movie, it does away with the Found Footage format. Also like the third movie, it's not very good. I still have fondness for the first two movies in the wreck series. And it's strange that once it dumped the Found Footage angle, a subgenre poor that is famously. The first one is the first one is wreck at Ralph, right?

Uh huh. Yep. Uh, I'm gonna just jump back a little so the, okay, I'm gonna say it's fake scenes. Yeah, everyone. I haven't found this for the first two movies in the Rex series. Oh, I get it wreck it Ralph Jesus Now you get it. Oh Hell it it's it's strange that once it dumped the found footage angle a subgenre of course the sequel theater Rex Oh, man Got that one right away. Theodore Rex and Adipis Rex, Joey, yup.

No, Dan, no it is not. He's a dinosaur. Unless Tyranosaurus Rex is an Adipis Rex reference, maybe it is. Maybe they found evidence of a Tyrannosaurus Rex lusting after its mother. I mean, or murdering its father. It was killing its father and pointing at its mother as lava hit them all,

killed them and they were fossilized in that moment. I'm very embarrassing. Follow me down this path, guys. Okay. Let's do so. I feel like a Tyrannosaurus, similar to Etaipus, has dreams that exceed his grasp, right? So I think that's a fair comparison. I mean, I don't know if that's a fair description

of edipus. No, I think I'm right. So Dan, yeah. Yes, go on. Oh, I go. Oh, just, it's a fair description of a tyrannosaur because his grasp is very short. Okay. Anyway, I still have a fondness for the first two movies in the wreck series

and the strings that once it dumped the found footage angle a subgenre of horror that is famously reviled by the flop cast themselves the series actually got worse which brings us to the question are there movies that you love in genres you're not particularly fond of or perhaps are there movies that almost work that would benefit from switching genres. J middle name withheld Jameson. Obviously, to them, but I read it again anyway. Yeah. No, no, maybe it really is from J. Jonah Jameson, Dan. Yeah. Maybe Spider-Man's. Yeah, there's a post-crib.

There's a post-crib boss and there's a post script that says get me spider-man The subject line was flop house threat or men is yep Dan so I see you zooming around the internet on your phone. Do you have an answer? Are you trying to come up with? I'm going real quick. I Well, I have kind of an answer, but it's funny to me. I like Well, don't tell it that. I looked, I googled film genres just to like, in case I thought I like, forgot a genre that I'm like,

oh yeah, I really do like, just like that genre. I'm like scrolling through, scrolling through, and it's all like very basic thriller, western film noir comedy. And then like I go like, sort of deep in the list and it goes pornographic film. I'm like, yeah, I guess that's a genre. Oh yeah, wait, I'm gonna have to change my answer real quick guys. Yeah, has there ever been a porn where you guys were like, I wish this was a mainstream movie because I'm enjoying it so much. Yeah, I mean, I feel like if this

porn switch genres to horror, it would be, uh, just as affecting for me. But Dan, what's your answer or answer, as some would say? I don't have a really great one. The first thing that came to my mind when I read this question was when Dunkirk was being advertised. Oh, and you wanted to be a wacky comedy. No, I was like, I have enjoyed all of Christopher Nolan movies from one degree to another and I normally would be very excited about a new movie from him. And I kind of went to it out of like a weird obligation because I do not like war movies for the most part. There are genres that are sort of war adjacent that I like but ones that are like

specifically about like combat I'm not particularly into because what about war the worlds I call that more of a science fiction horror surely Wilson's war that's more of a it's kind of a satire I guess more of the roses that's a black comedy about divorce Zena. That means it's a television show. Yeah, this is not a lesbian warrior princess. Yeah, what about this means war? That is a comedy supposedly about some spies, I think. I can't remember. What a gwar. Gwar is that suban, or the band.

Yeah. I like their horror attitude, I guess. Cool, yeah, I like it. Okay. But no, I like, I went to see it and I was like, okay, no, I really enjoyed this movie, but I was, it felt like a chore beforehand because I, I don't know, I don't, I feel like war is like this sort of horrific thing and I kind of agree that like taking a big stand there. Well, but I kind of agree that any war movie, even if it's not trying to glamorize it, glamorizes

war a little bit. Yeah. Look at Sam Fuller over here. Okay. Anyway. So that's my answer. Here was my experience with Dunkirk, as I was like the same similar thing. I mean, I do enjoy a lot of war movies, but where I was like, this movie is going to be

like three hours long. And then I found out it was not. And I was like, oh, an hour and a half. And I loved it. I thought it was such a good movie. And I was like, oh, I hope other people watch this. Other directors are like, oh, I can make a great movie that's less than two hours long.

This will be wonderful. You know. So the genre you like are short movies. Well, I guess that's certainly. I guess so. I had a lot of trouble answering this question. I don't think I really have an answer for it. Well, I mean, it's a certain way. I guess so. I had a lot of trouble answering this question. I don't think I really have an answer for it. Well, I mean, it's a hard question because I think that I'm,

I don't want to speak. I'm the most hard about it. The hardest thing about this question is that you sent it to me this morning. I was making breakfast for my children. And so I really didn't have time to think of an answer. That's the hardest thing, hard of it. I don't want to speak for all of us, but I sort of assume that because we are all fans of movies in general, we aren't like, oh, I hate a specific genre. Like because there are good examples and basically every genre. Yeah, at first I was like, do I, I mean,

like there's a lot of like cheesy, romantic comedies I don't like, but I like comedies and romance. Like I like movies that are funny movies about romance. So like, it's hard for me to think of a genre that I don't care for. And it seems like there are so many movies that it's like hard to think about switching a genre on a movie and not changing its DNA so significantly that it just becomes a different movie, you know. I mean, yeah, like audition. I mean, I guess if I don't, I don't think that's what he's suggesting, those that we're

like starting with a movie and then halfway through we change. No, no, no, no, no, but I mean like, there's, it's not, the only movie that I can really think of that kind of fits, I think what's saying is like how the in-keepers is mostly a comedy and then becomes a horror movie. And I kind of wish it just stayed a comedy. Yeah. I don't really need the horror stuff at the end. I liked it so much just seeing these employees

at this hotel that's closing down, just kind of going about their business and thinking maybe there's a ghost around. But I still like that movie and not. It's not that the movie almost works. The movie does work. I just like that aspect of that. Yeah. I kind of feel the same almost works. The movie does work. I just like that aspect of it. Yeah.

I kind of feel the same way about Dan Gilroy's Velvet Buzzsaw that went up. Because it's a dumb silly movie that's super fun and goofy. But the world building and comedy stuff is fun for me at least. And then people start dying and you're like, oh yeah, there's a horror movie. All right. So that's that. Basically, I'm saying, I think, is that I feel like most movies would be improved if you switched the genre to movies with wrestlers in them.

Okay. What about the wrestler? Yeah, it would be way better if suburban commando showed up and just started blasting dudes. So, this next letter is from John Schumaker, real name withheld. I don't like all these format breaks we've got going on here, you guys. Well, you don't have to choose these letters. I could punish them for. Or you could actually change them entirely, whole cloth. Have you ever seen, can you ever forgive me? So this is a three-part letter.

How's Dan's name? Dan takes these letters and adds a PS at the bottom and then tries to sell them at like an antiquarian bookshop. I mean, I like Dorothy Parker. Yeah, he would, he would try and do it. Then after a while when they're on to him, they would have me, has much more charming and do it. Then after a while when they're on to him, they would have me has much more charming friend. Oh, I really want to see it. Can you ever flop give me? I was version of can you ever forgive me? Okay, this is a, this is a triptick of questions.

Okay, let's set them next to each other. See if it makes, see if we can fold them next to each other. See if we can fold them together to make a different picture, right? Yes, some kind of alter piece. How is Dan's knee doing? Has Stuart actually punched anyone he's threatened on the pod? Oh, shit. Does Elliot still sing to his son? Since he does.

The way he just, John T. McGurray, let me really with help. This is a cop. Cop, it's a cop. Yeah. Question number four. Hey, do you guys have any drugs? I'm gonna buy some from you.

Oh, man, he's gotta tell us. I have a question for you, question keeper. So, Dan, how's your knee? It's fine. Every once in a while, I get some pain. It's like, you know, 90% of what it was before I screwed it up, but, you know, it's fine. And ever since I stole a horse and went into the woods to pick some herbs and made a poultice for your leg, it's felt much better. Yeah. That's fine. And ever since I stole a horse and went into the woods to pick some herbs and made a poultice for your leg,

it's felt much better. Yeah. That's true. Question number. I was just a movie. Yeah. I liked it. The to answer your question, no, I live a life of non-violence.

So I don't punch anyone that I threaten on the air. Officer. And, and I sing to my kids all the time. I have a song for my little baby that is called It's Okay for when he's crying that tends to calm him down. Uh, and I sing to my older son Sammy quite a bit, but he doesn't like it when I sing songs about him or about his brother. And he'll go, he'll go, don't sing about me. And then I'll start singing about the baby. And he goes, don't sing about my brother. So, he's like, you don't know my life, dad. Exactly.

Dad, from your privileged position as a grown-up, you can't see what it's like to be a kid. But the one thing that I've learned about my older son, Sammy, is that it is impossible for him to hear music without dancing, even if a car drives by with music coming out of the windows for a couple seconds so I've been taking advantage of that. The scene of dance. Alright last question of the episode. Yep from Steve last name with held hold into the traditional patterns.

Savage Steve Holland. Great. It's for sure. traditional patterns. To have a Steve Holland. Steve Holland. Okay. Oh, great. It's for sure. Did you guys like that dancing burger from Better Off Dead? Was it too much? What? Get the hell out of here.

That's the best part of any movie. Did you like the dancing burger? Do you think they ripped off my dancing burger and batteries not included? Question mark. The answer is probably. This is the question for Stuart. Uh-huh, cool. Would you rather watch 40 days and 49s one time or eight crazy nights five times? You know, I've actually never seen eight crazy nights.

So this feels like me reaching into an empty bag of scorpions, or are there scorpions? We don't know. And I don't know why I said it's empty because I already clearly said it at scorpions. And someone's like, reach your hand in this empty bag of scorpions. Oh, cool, no problem. I stopped listening to Game Boy, there's no scorpions in there.

That's scary. I'm gonna pick eight crazy nights because the other one makes me some man. Okay. So that was a great letter mostly because it led us to an empty bag of scorpions. Anyway. So let's do our last thing on the show, which is how do we do we recommend movies that we've seen and enjoyed They should probably watch before you watch Oscar even though we kind of like to ask Recommendations Oscar edition So we haven't taped pal

Okay, we haven't taped in a little while we put out a live episode other stuff is going on So so that gave you plenty of time to watch a movie. Actually, I was gonna say, the movie I watched, I watched a while back, so I don't remember a lot about it at this point. Okay, this is all good backstory that the audience needs to know. Yep. Otherwise, I know that I enjoyed it. It's called Black Cold Thin Ice.

Did I recommend this? I don't think I did. Did I? I don't think so. Pretend we do. It's a Chinese film. It's from 2014. It's a black coal. Black coal. But black coal thin ice didn't recommend it guys. It's a film and war. It's about these It's about these dismembered human body parts

start showing up in coal shipments all around the cities and the local cities in this area of China and a detective is inside to investigate and he thinks that he solves the case and kind of this blood bath that haunts him for years later he becomes a drunk, but then stuff starts happening again that's eerily similar to what happened before. And, you know, like, it doesn't, like the plot doesn't, like, totally,

like, like, shock and surprise and, like, hold together in the way that I kind of would like it to, but the atmospherics of the movie are really good. Like it's just a great looking movie. It's a creepy feeling movie. And if you're looking for a film noir from another country, it's very interesting and enjoyable. So black coal, thin ice.

Cool. Sounds cool. I'm going to recommend a movie from last. Actually, yeah, I think it was from last year. I might have seen a release this year. It's a movie called Piercing. It's a, I guess, American or Western movie based on a novel by a Japanese author. I'm probably going to mess this up.

Ryu Murakami, the author of the novel that the movie audition was based on, the movie I mentioned a little bit ago. It's a movie about a man who is driven by an urge to kill and for fear that he might take this urge out on his newborn child. He instead pretends he lies to his wife about going out of town on a business trip and instead goes to a hotel and hires a prostitute with the intention of murdering her. And then it kind of spins out of control from there. And it ends like it's this very carefully crafted movie. The a lot of the exteriors are all done with miniatures and it feels very stylized without being

kind of hokey and the performances are all really cool and it ends up being a horrifying movie that is also a movie kind of about like connection and communication. And I found it to be like, I found it to be really interesting. It doesn't offer, I feel like it brings up a lot of questions. It doesn't really offer answers, but I recommend it. All right, guys, I'm going to recommend a movie that later today will either win an Academy Award or will not win an Academy Award. And this is one of the movies nominated

for the best documentary. It's called Minding the Gap. Oh cool. And it's a movie by Bing Liu, which is about him and these two other young men who are all skateboarders. And basically following their lives as three guys growing up in this very kind of like mid-sized, I guess,

town in Illinois that does not have a lot of promise for young men who are trying to make lives or careers and how each of these three guys, one is black, one's white, and the director is Chinese. How they kind of like grew up in different ways and how the, as it unfolds, you realize they've each been the victims in somewhere or another of abuse by their fathers and how they now see themselves as men growing up and how they kind of deal with the past that they've been given. And I'm being kind of vague about it if only because I went into it,

having heard a little bit about it, but not knowing how these guys lives were gonna turn out. And it meant that I really felt like I was seeing these guys unfold in front of me in a way that was surprising and interesting. So I really liked a lot. It's a real heavy movie. It's very emotional,

but there's also a lot of sweet skateboarding footage in it. So, they throw a lot of bloops, a lot of dudes smashing their nuts. Did anyone, I mean, not bloops, but guys, they don't do fall down a lot.

Gleam a cube, was a cube gleam did any time. I don't think any cubes are gleamed, but it's interesting to see, like skateboarding is one of those sports that's always been interesting to me because it's like, no matter how good you are at it,

you will still keep falling down. And the only way to get good at it is to fall down a lot. So like, even if you're really talented from a young age, you still fall down a lot at it. And the skateboarding really becomes kind of like a metaphor for life in a way, like the frustrations of it and the need to get back on the board, even once you've fallen down and gotten angry and how important it is to keep on living. So anyway, mining the gap, I liked it a lot.

But it's an emotional movie. It's like, it's not a movie to sit down and be like, oh, this will be a fun movie. I feel like there's a lot of documentaries that I've heard a fair amount of buzz about that are all going into the Academy Awards this year. And I don't know if it's just like the way that streaming services have made it possible for more documentaries to find audiences or whether like the renewed interest in true crime has led people to an interest in documentary style stuff. I don't know.

I don't know. I do think that for all that people, people who make big movies that get shown in movie theaters don't like streaming services because it means people watch Stuff on their home in their homes instead of in the theaters Which I have mixed feelings about because yeah, it's great to see stuff in the theaters But like I don't have time to go to the theaters all the time I'd much rather watch like have the opportunity to watch a movie where it's convenient for me Yeah, you work for me movie makers

But I do think that the streaming services have been very good for documentaries because it provides a market for them that didn't exist before. Like, there are a lot of documentaries that previously would have been shown at festivals, would have gotten some kind of maybe DVD release that wouldn't go much of anywhere. But now, the streaming services are so hungry for material. And people are, I think, more likely to watch one at home than they are to go to a movie theater to see a documentary. Yeah. And so, like, I think it's really, and like, I think Hulu, I one at home than they are to go to a movie theater to see a documentary Yeah, and so like it's I think it's really and like I think Hulu

I don't know if they Produced it but like it's it's branded as a Hulu documentary. They must have either the either they they they put up money for it or They you know did the distribution for it or whatever but like if Hulu is putting more money towards this kind of project Then like that's great. I don't know what other major media outlet is putting up maybe like HBO. Yeah. Is putting up money for that kind of documentary stuff. And who's aside from streaming? Like streaming, I think, has been very good for funding and distribution for documentaries.

Not so great for small movies because even though they get distributed, they don't get the actual runs a lot. so great for small movies because even though they get distributed, they don't get the actual runs a lot and they just end up as one of the, you may also like, you know, thumbnails on your thing, but for documentary, I think it's been good. And that's Ellie Kaelin talking about something he doesn't really know that much about. Okay. Great episode as always. You can watch this.

But anyway, that's the way I was saying, if you have Hulu, you can watch this documentary right now. Cool. Dan, what do we do now? Now we sign off. This has been, I hope that this Oscar episode has been filled with all the glitz and glamour you were looking for. I mean, I am wearing a tuxedo.

And you know, I guess we'll meet back here in one year and watch Oscar all over again. Oh, I should have read the phone for him from the contract. Thanks, guys. Thanks for listening. Go to maximumfund.org. Listen to a lot of other great podcasts we got there. Yeah. Tweet about us.

Tweet about us. Meet about us. Yeah, why not cheat about us? Hold on. Don't do that. If I feel please leave a review for us on iTunes or wherever you download your podcasts, please continue to support Maximum Fun. And please, yeah, help us spread the word about the flop house.

Okay. Well, you guys are great. That was a little bit of a... Well, thanks. Dan, are you dying? What's going on? We'll talk about it off here. Dan, are you dying? What's going on? We'll talk about it off here.

No, go to the fly pass. I've been down the whole way. Hey, I guess I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin. And over here on the couch, done with my nap, it's me, so Vestus Stallone, ready to go with you guys to see Hamilton on the Great White Way. Before I walk into a house I'm like, oh, so that's why they do it this way. I see. Yeah. That's why they design houses this way. We need more room for the cameraman to watch, you know, the aging but beautiful old Dillf.

Dillf? What is that? Dad, I'd like to fuck. Oh, oh, I see. The, I thought it was like a, I don't know, like a dragon. I mean, that I'd like to fuck. Oh, oh, I see. The, uh, I thought it was like a, uh, I don't like a dragon. I mean, I'd like to fuck. I feel like that's an oxymoron. You mean a redundancy?

Yeah, thank you. Listener supported.