The Flop House - Ep. #282 - Castle Freak

Episode Date: April 13, 2019

It's the moment you've all been waiting for -- we discuss the fabled Castle Freak. And we don't do it alone! We do it with noted B-movie aficionado Joe Bob Briggs who you can also see on Shudder's "The Last Drive-In." Meanwhile, Dan asks salient questions about Grimace's anatomy, Elliott denies all of Dan's best bits, and Stuart fulfills his destiny. Wikipedia synopsis for Castle Freak Movies recommended in this episode: Chopping Mall TerrorVision Howling: New Moon Rising Atlantic City LIVE SHOW DATES 2019! June 8 – PORTLAND – Revolution Hall July 13 – MINNEAPOLIS – Parkway September 28 – BOSTON – WBUR CitySpace (TWO shows in one night) October 12 – LOS ANGELES – The Regent Theater

On this episode we discuss Castle Freak. Wait, for real? Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house I'm Dan McCoy. Oh man I'm Stuart Willington. I'm Elliot Kaelin everybody's favorite child trapped in an adult's body. And we've got a guest tonight, right? I'm gonna introduce yourself. Joba Briggs. Oh wow, what's so leopsy.

That's amazing. This is amazing. This is awesome. What have I signed up for here? Oh man, you've done already menacing. I think the fact that you are in a lonely man's house, where a cat is prowling, and also that he made you introduce yourself,

rather than introducing our amazing special guest, that deserves a build up and things like that. Yeah, send a part of Brooklyn that I would have to fight my way out of, like the Warriors. Yeah, oh sure. Yeah, he arrived in a car and I could see him struggling for his face.

Not to fall. Is he realized he was just walking into some dudes apartment? Yeah. Yeah. Not a some kind of fancy studio. Yeah. And in a part of the city that he thought had been turned into a maximum security prison. Yeah. Come on, Stuart. So this is a movie that, okay. Can we like build up our guests? Oh yeah, sure. Hold on. That's a, come on. That's an important thing.

Yeah. This is someone whose work has meant a lot to me in growing up. I was a real devout monster vision watcher back when it was on and a reader of your columns and your reviews. And just like, it's very exciting to me to have you on the show. Monster Vision Watcher back when it was on and you know, reader of your columns and your reviews and just like, it's very exciting to me to have you on the show. It's just super excited about it, which is why this is the first time I regret leaving New York City

and having to do the podcast via Skype from Los Angeles. All right, well, I appreciate that. It's amazing how many people remember that Monster Vision show because it was on at no particular time in the middle of the night. And we just kind of like continued, you know, I guess the rules of TV were different in those days. And as long as we were finished by 6am, they didn't care what we did.

And so sometimes the show ended at 4.30, sometimes it ended at 2. You know, we just talked until we were done. Sort of like your show. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. Now you're getting it. That was actually kind of my favorite era of like television when cable first was kind of around and they were like, okay, we got all these channels.

We're not quite sure how to fill the time. So I don't know, comedy channel. I'm just gonna put a bunch of clips of random stuff on the air, USA. I'm gonna put TNA movies on late at night. It's just like, let's fill the time however we possibly can. And that was so much fun.

That was the arrow when you could take a videotape and insert it into a weird opening in your stomach, right? For maybe like one person. Okay, cool. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't give more of a build up.

I'm so flustered by having an actual guest of note that I don't know how. You don't go out often, do you? No, I don't. Dan does better not in person. I think, but you also don't do that great on Twitter. So I don't know what's going on with this dragon me about Twitter is. Dan's a real, Dan's really, his best stuff

is a via telegram. Like his best face is really via telegram, because it's limited letters, but it also costs money. So he can't waste it on the kinds of jokes he does on Twitter for free. I don't know. This is turning into like our roast of dance Twitter feed. Which lately has just been particularly prolific and of questionable quality. Yeah. I don't know. It's a start of that. So before we get into what we actually do on this podcast, which is talk about a specific movie that we watched. What, yeah, so let's talk a little bit about why we chose Castle Freak, the movie that we're reviewing today.

I know why I would want to watch it because we recommend movies on this podcast. And out of the, we've done what, like, two hundred and ninety episodes, something like that, Dan. A little less, I feel like I've recommended it two hundred and ninety times. Okay. So, well, I'm with you. I've always thought it was underappreciated.

And of the three big Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, directed by Stuart Gordon movies, which would be a reanimator from beyond and Castle Freak, is probably the least well-known. There are people who love those other two movies and then have never seen Castle Freak. But Castle Freak, is that the only one that didn't get a theatrical release? Um, I think you got a minor theatrical release at least, but not in the US. I'm pretty sure that's true. I'll look it up while you guys check.

Okay, well, I think the reason that it's not as beloved as the other two is that it's hardcore nasty horror with no comic relief, you know? It's so much rougher than the other movies. From Beyond is a movie where Jeffrey Combs eats a man's eyeball out of his head like this. And this is still somehow much rougher. Not with humor.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. From Beyond is so much is such a silly movie in a in a in a great way. Oh, just because a man gets skeletonized by a cloud of bees. Yeah, I was direct a video by Full Moon Home video on 97, 97. 97, okay, I thought it was 95. I guess they had trouble. Well, it's weird.

We can't be releasing it. Conflicting information. Earlier, it says 95 and then it says 97. Who would have thought that maybe it was not real real reliable? I can't talk. Reliable source. Maybe 95 was when it debuted at Khan. Yeah, on the palm door. Well, it is the kind of movie. These movies were starting to not get theatrical releases at all in the 90s, whereas the other two movies were 85 and 86 when everything came out theatrically.

Well, not everything. But I was really lucky a couple of years ago to get to host a screening of Castle Freak at the Alamo Draft House in New Yorkers. And they brought Jonathan Fuller, the actor who plays Joe Geo the Freak. He is the Castle Freak. Yeah. And he was the nicest guy in the world. And he had all these great stories about running around in Charles Bands castle that he owned

and how they had to like, they limited window to use the producer's castle before they use it for another one of his movies. And also just like stories of wearing full body prosthetics. And also he clarified a couple of important points for me, which we'll get to, for sure. But can I, is it too premature to talk about the movie? No, no, no.

What's Jonathan Fuller talk about full body prosthetics? Usually when you put on the full body prosthetics, that's it, that's the whole role. You know, you walk around in the full body prosthetics. You know, he actually does acting in the full body prosthetics. It's a fully realized part. Yeah, it's amazing. Just the physicality brings that role with his like, from the way he walks to the way he holds his body to the weird like mumble sounds he makes, which I don't know if that was all 80 art or not. The drool.

The drool. Yeah. There's more drool. That's the movie. Yeah, the costumeer was like, time to add some drool. He's like, nope, I'll make it myself. Story Gordon was like, there's not enough goo in this movie. So let's add some drool.

Well, that's interesting. You say that, Dan, because of those three combs, cramped and movies that you mentioned, it's the, they're all lovecraft stories, but this is the one that's least like what we think of as a lovecraft story. The other two are very like mad scientist and monster stories,

and this is like more gothic, and I wonder if that's part of it that it's like, there's not as much opportunity for goo in it. Well, and part of it is that it's not really a lovecraft story. I mean, it's like so loose. It's the same way that like they do those old Ed Grail and Poe movies in the 30s, where they're like, it's based on the black cat.

Well, how's it based on the black cat? Well, there's a cat in it. Okay. Well, and that's how this one happened. Charles Banned had a poster. He made a poster and he showed it to Stuart Gordon. And he says, the name of the movie is Castle Freak. And Stuart Gordon said, what's the story? And he says, I don't know what the story is, but it has a castle and it has a freak. I've already gotten a pre-order

from one S. Wellington for a movie ticket. The Stuart Gordon found that the only HP Lovecraft story that could be possibly used for that, which was told from the point of view of the freak. I mean, it's a story about a guy who's never been imprisoned from birth and has never been outside. Then he gets outside and he terrifies himself when he looks in the mirror. And so that's basically it. That's the whole story. It's like Lovecraft was reading Plato's parable of the case.

Yes, in Lovecraft form. These are monster. So they added the whole family plot. And they, I guess we're going to go over the plot, right? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. The rest of it was, was, um, Yeah, I don't think there was probably a drunk driving dad sequence in the Lovecraft story, but we'll find out.

Well, before we get into the movie, like, I actually, I feel like we haven't done, we've done our guest of the service before we'll plug the time. Sure. We'll plug again later. We'll plug. Yeah, we should, we should talk about what the guest has feared it. We'll plug again later, but Joe Bob showed this movie on shutter. And the fact that he's, he's on shutter showing movies is the reason that we've tricked him

into coming to my apartment. Uh-huh. So we just advertise shutter and his involvement thereof. Yeah, wait right now or later. Just now we, I'm just mentioning it now and then we can, you know, we actually showed it on the very first week of the series because I was a fan and just plug the name of the series, sir. It's called the last drive-in on shutter. I don't care if we plug it or not. But you just hope you get out of this alive. Yeah, that's the best of all.

No, the matters. No, the first week they wanted to show Chad, and I hate Chad. So we did show Chad as the first movie. And I said, we got to redeem ourselves with something in the second movie. They like movies that are not, you know, extremely well-known. Yeah. And Daniel Stern just up unsubscribe for more podcast. Now I need to find out why I mean, Chad is not great. Now what do you hate, Chad? And what are your feelings on Chad's shoes? You know, I know. The only kind of, the only, well, the only, well, yeah. Oh, cool.

And please, you know, but the only, the only movies that I really despise are movies where the people who make the movie seem to be superior to the movie. And Chad is the ultimate Shakespeare in the park people slumming in the horror world. Remember the homeless woman who goes down in the tunnel at the very beginning? That's Norman Maylor's wife, okay? If Norman Maylor's wife is in the movie, it's not made by normal people. No, that's actually like,

yeah, there's a certain amount of contempt for the audience, I guess, or is it contempt for the material? No, it was conceived at a Soho party. And the idea Well, they came up with it with the cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers. They came up with the acronym Develop the whole movie around that idea and but but you know, even if you like the movie, it's like where are the Chugs? Yeah, where are the Chugs? How much chud action is in the, in 30 seconds of glowing yellow eyes that look like they're

on a, you know, a toy. For the, for the first time in horror history, the poster promise something it did not deliver. Remember when the chuds eat John Goodman in the diner? You don't even see the chuds. I think you see a quick hand of a chud or something coming out of a manhole cover. This is if America's coming to the movies, like I came to see a chud,

as if they knew what chuds were. Like I haven't been this disappointed since hot dog, the motion. Hello 911, I'd like to report a murder. The movie chud has been killed. If you ask if you ask nerd heads from the 80s, you know, what do you like about chud? They'll always say, well, remember that box? Remember that video box? Yeah. Is it? Okay. So you like the video box. Yeah. You know, presumably you took the video box home, took the video out of the box

and watched the movie. You know, you have it. That box, that box, it was so great. You remember that box? You know, I don't understand loving a movie based on the box. Well, that is why I love watching cyber kill. Can you describe the box for me? It's this movie that HR Gager did the cover, did the art for it. But it's this, but it's apparently he got tricked into doing it and the movie bears is the super low budget thing where the mutants in it are like, they're just people in punk outfits basically.

And it's really terrible. And I remember when I was young, I saw that box and I was like, oh, this must be like alien. This is gonna be amazing. And it was terrible. And it was like a real part of me died that day. Okay, but see that's, but that's a real reaction to false advertising. Some people love the box so much that they continue to love the movie even after it's this, I've even ever. It's a real stinker. Yeah. And that seems to be the case with Chad. Yeah. And

they love the title. They love to say Chad. Yeah I was one of the kids, I went to the video store and I was fascinated by the box for blood-sucking Nazi zombies because it's called blood-sucking Nazi zombies. Yeah, yeah. And then years later, it's all my story. And I'm like, no, thank you, no thank you friends. I feel like the biggest disappointment for me was, I love the box art for Deep Star 6.

And I feel like that movie isn't as good as the box art but maybe I'm just being overly critical because I love the like the like diving suit ripped in half in the middle of like so many questions for my young mind. Should we finally get into the movie though? Let's dig in. Okay. What movie are we doing now? We're doing a movie called Castle Freak starring Oh, all right. Jeffery Combs and Barbara Grant. Not familiar with it. Okay, well, you're gonna you're supposed to watch it, Elliot. That's this kind of your job. Wait, but I don't know because what are we doing this podcast? I'm unfamiliar. Dan, we watched normally a bad movie and then we talked about it. Well, we want we want judge Castle Freak though. Yeah, we're gonna flip the script because we're

watching a good movie and we're talking about that. So the movie opens with an old woman pouring milk for a cat. As all the best stories do. She then starts chopping up a sausage in what appears to be foreshadowing. The movie I was thinking of, sorry, Stuart, I heard it didn't drop. The movie I was thinking of was called Future Kill. Future Kill. I did see Future Kill.

I did see Future Kill. I did see Future Kill. I did see Future Kill. Yeah. And you're absolutely right. It is extremely disappointing. So we have an old lady feeding a cat, cutting up a sausage, and we realize that she lives in a castle. Wow.

She walks down. It's delivered on one thing already. Yep. She walks down into the dungeon. We see a lot of cat acting. The movie kind of takes its time and makes a point of kind of showing you like her journey from kitchen into the dungeon. And we see a very good cat actor.

He's amazing. Or she's amazing, I can't tell. She opens up a cell in the basement and she begins beating somebody that's trapped down there that she calls George Eau. She beats him with like a chain whip or like a chain cat, a nine tail. Yeah, which is weird for she. She already has a cat with a tail there. So that's a cat of 10 tails, I guess.

And she's in a cat stall. Yeah, that's a cat of 10 tales, I guess. And she's in a cat stall. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, thank you. So she beats him so hard that she goes back up to her bedroom with her cat and 9 tales, gets in bed and immediately dies. Now, we have title, right? Yeah. That's the complete performance of Helen Sterling.

Okay. complete performance of Helen Sterling. There was an English actress who played all the English roles that came through Rome. She lived in Rome her whole life. She's great. I'm sure when she heard she was playing the Duchess de Orcino or whatever, she was like, oh great, what? So after that classic cold open, we get some titles and then we get one of those tunnel irises as we are introduced to the very details to the heroes of our movie. John Susan and Rebecca played by Jeffrey Cones Barbara cramped and and. Jessica dollar hide thank you.

I asked that like first in a series of one movies for Jessica. This was her only movie. I think it was her only movie. She's actually pretty good in it, but I imagine this experience might not be the best one for a young person. By the way, you keep dragging my Twitter, but you know who follows my Twitter? Who? Miss Barbara Crampton.

Oh, wow. I feel bad. I mean, you know, you can mute somebody without having that unfollow. Okay. So there, it's a family of Americans who we learn have inherited a castle after an attorney or an investigator had to do some research and track down who the inheritors of this castle are the family who had owned the castle had, had been bankrupted or they lost all their money in the war. So this this family of Americans had to have to move in and

make a decision whether they're going to want to live in the castle or just sell it, which they decide to inventory inventory the castle and sell it, which I don't know the process of inheriting a castle. I guess that never since. Never have a new one. I would just, what I like is that Jeffrey comes as like, I guess I'll inventory it. I guess I'll let's search the castle for booty. He keeps calling it booty. It's just like, I assume you'd hire a professional who could identify what all the things in the

castle are. Like, I'm just making a list that's just like old beds. This is before porn stars, dude. Pond stars, this is before porn stars, or whatever. So he would just bring each item one at a time into the pawn shop for pond stars. It's like, I got a castle full of them. I have a question about that, that's particular scene.

Okay, the castle freak, uh-huh, which we've seen and being beaten with a cat and I tell us now the only the the woman who can give him sausage or whatever she was preparing for. She's she's gone. Yeah. Now there's got to be a period of time when her death is reported is she's the her body is discovered her death is reported, is she's the body is discovered, her death is reported, the attorney is hired, the Americans are contacted, and whatever town that they live in, they go to JFK. They gotta go to the travel agent.

They go to the travel agent. They go to JFK, they fly to Rome, they get the bus to the little town, and wherever. Probably the flights, no, they fly to, uh, and his room. Free. They get the, they get the bus to the little town. And whoever, probably the flights. No, no, they have a car. They have their own car. Yeah, they get a cab driver drive. They, they, they, they, they drive a driving car.

They're, they, they, they, uh, they have a driver who takes them to the little town. Yeah. Why wouldn't the castle freak be dead by then? I mean, I think it, it says something about his almost inhuman constitution. That's what makes him a freak. Yeah, well, yeah, it's not his appearance.

It's his ability to know that. Because nobody knows he's there except the old woman who just died, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's a chance that- And I assume the cat. Maybe the cat's given him food. And he knows how to dodge inventory.

That's true. That's true. I mean, I don't know what the bug situation is. Maybe he's gonna be eating all the bugs. That's very ring-fuel sort of thing. That's one of those like, I mean, at this point, the movie asks for a certain amount of buy-in. At this point, I'm with the movie. I'm okay with it.

I do remember some water dripping down a wall or something. Yep. That's proof. Yeah, you can get moisture. That's cool. It's to you. So I'm gonna suggest much as some elephants to get the salt they need will go to salt caves and just lick the walls that Georgia has found the nutrients he needs and whatever deposits have been left by the water dripping down those like some like him.

Some like him. Yeah. Yeah. That he's been eating. Yeah. And he's been eating like doosers and stuff. You know what, you know, he's eating fraggles, doosers, yeah. Whatever underground creatures or beings he could find, yeah. Maybe like someone from Polucid Arshos, he eats them.

Yeah. It's a huge mistake. So we were also introduced to Agnaza, the housekeeper, who is the sister of the attorney character, the investigator character. I think we don't know that till later. Okay, that's reveal a little bit later. So right off the bat,

we can tell that the relationship between John and Susan is chilly at best. After they move into the castle, yeah. Speaking of chilly, Susan does not want Rebecca to open the window of the car because it would be too cold for her, which is like a weird way of, which is very protective in a strange way.

Like, you can't see. You'll get too cold if the car window is open. You're very fragile. It's as apparent, I was confused by that. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Did we mention the daughter's loin? Is that...

We haven't mentioned that yet. Rebecca, the daughter's loin. Oh, she's blind. I was going to mention it after the flashback, but I guess, I mean, I didn't want to highlight the challenge to the two faces, but I guess it is a pop point. No, no, no, no.

It's doing the right... So we should not define her by her, by her handicap, but by who she is as a person. She shouldn't. We should not define her by her, by her handicap, but by who she is as a person. She shouldn't be defined by that. Which is someone who's very friendly and frequently will take off her shirt, you know, in opportunity time for some reason.

So the first evening, John goes to visit, he makes a late night call to his wife because they're sleeping in separate rooms. And she is clearly not having it. We get a little bit of exposition here where we realize that he has had a drinking problem and that what like six months, nine months, some time ago he had an episode and he has not been drinking since. She rebuffs his advances at Grissov as they are and he goes to bed where he has a flashback dream. And in that dream, this is this is something that happens in movies a lot, but I've never had

where your dream is just a thing that happened to you. Yeah. I mean, I certainly haven't happened. I had that happen. Unlike molested by my like weird subconscious, weird subconscious. It doesn't happen literally as it happened to me in the past. I wonder if, do you think what he's remembering is slightly different than what actually happened? There's some dream-like element to it, or it seems like a straightforward memory. I mean, the idea is that I feel like that what we're seeing isn't actually going on in his head.

He's just having a horrible nightmare similar to the dream, but we see the flashback because we need to know that information. Oh, okay. That's fair. And the dream he's having is actually running away from Grimis from McDonald's. But in the flashback, we get some great. But Grimis is also somehow his principal from elementary school. Yeah, yeah.

And he's not wearing any pants. Well, of course, he's not. He's grimace. Why would he wear pants that would be crazy? It would be hard for him to be creepier with pants. How does he wear pants? Does he put them on his head? If grimace suddenly started wearing pants, you'd be like, wait, should you have always

been wearing pants like this is? Wait, where's your waist, grimace? Yeah, that's the true otherworldly horror that we're talking about. So in this flashback, we get some great Jeffrey Combs drunk acting where he's driving in the rain with his daughter and his young son, JJ, and he has my favorite line reading of the movie where he goes everything okay back there JJ. Of course, very quickly everything is not okay as Jeffrey comes, flips the car,

his young son is killed and his daughter is blinded in the accident. So there we have the tragic backstory. Yeah, that's maybe wise wife's a little peeved. Yeah. I mean, it's definitely why she is, Dan. Did you not pick up on that? And I mean, this car accident is, I'll admit, probably not the most exciting car accident I've seen in cinema, but you know, whatever they're making do with what cash, Dan.

It gets the story across. But he is awoken from this flashback dream to a child's voice and he goes and explores the castle and finds a really cool wine cellar, which is important because he's an alcoholic. So he picks up a bottle of wine, breaks it, and cuts his hand. As you do when you go to find a dope wine seller,

this is when while cleaning his hand, he runs into a agnese and agnese has pores a glass of wine for. Housekeeper. Yeah, she's the housekeeper. And she pores a glass of wine for him and her, he declines it because he's bleeding and he realizes he's an alcoholic.

And she relates the tragic story of the castle. I think this is the first time we get the tragic story of the castle in this version we hear, the Duchess, Deor Sino. I think that's correct. I might be messing that up. Who's the lady who fed the cat at the beginning? Yep. And beat the man. I mean, I think beating the man is the more notable.

But I was first introduced to her as a woman who feeds cats. So I guess that's just my impression of her always. We find out. Yes, she also, she also horribly beat a man. She kept in a cell in the bottom of a castle. Yeah, Elliot, Elliot, much like a former coworker of ours. She loves cats, hates people. Wow. Dan, that was, so what a, what a a former coworker of ours. She loves cats, hates people. Wow, Dan, that was, what a passive aggressive attack at someone who will never hear this and nobody knows if that's... There he is, the thing, joke at someone's expense

that the audience will not appreciate. Yeah, we'll certainly think less of you for it. Yeah. Yeah. I just wanna say, sure, she keeps her, as we learn her son, a prisoner for years and years in a cell. She beats him with a whip.

But let's not forget the good things about her. She takes good care of her cat. And that's something I think should be when her heart is weighed by a new bus, you have to like perhaps, perhaps her service to her cat will help her get to that point where it's not as heavy as a feather. And she can go to wherever the good people go in ancient Egypt. I don't remember where it was. That's a good point, Ale. Thanks for making it. Um, so by the way, the house, the housekeeper who comes with the inherited house is an idea that was

first done in 13 ghosts where the wicked witch of the inventory, but it seems to be a common thing in horror films. It's like, well, my contract was with the house, not with any individual human beings. I have ominous tidings to bring I mean in a way like when when Trevor Noah take over for John Stewart He inherited me and I've been haunting him ever since Yeah, very true good point. That's a cool way to slip where you work right there. I mean I don't think there's anyone listening. It doesn't realize that's true I think maybe she works for the exposition temp agency

providing household staff who can give tell you what's going on in the movie for decades. And she's so she's she's about to be the third exposition device. After the flashback dream. Yep. And the and now relating the the the sad tale of the Duchess of the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Like if it's called castle Riley, there's a there's a whole backstory there that I need to know We are like a movie. I really need to get involved in it all started in the hundred years war The uh, so yeah the the backstory so the backstory shifts Over because we hear a couple different versions of it, but I believe regular roshamon. I believe the one she gives Explains that the Duchess fell in love with an American, maybe an American soldier, and he got her pregnant, and then he ran off, and in her anger, she, uh, at losing her husband, she killed her young son, Georgio. Correct.

Okay. And at that point, you're like, but wait a minute. The guy she was beating, the basement was called George Eau. What? Must be a coincidence. No, okay. So. Wait, and I asked the other thing, I would say.

Is this really the dream of George Eau? I think that's a little bit later. Okay. If it was, because I missed that she was supposed to, I thought he just died. She was supposed to have killed the son or... Is that the first... In the first... Why is she not in jail?

Well, I mean, because she's the Dutchist, dude, she makes all the rules. I don't know if that's how it works, you're a Dutchist. Well, we'll get to that later. So the next morning, Oh, but she also says people think the castle is haunted because they hear creepy sounds in that castle. Like a child crying and Jeffrey comes looks off and he's

like a child crying. So the next morning, John and Rebecca are set off to do inventory despite Susan's protests because she is very nervous that her daughter will be injured because he is not proven himself a very good caretaker. So they wander around the house and there's another time where we see we get, you know, some glimpses at this beautiful house that Charles Bannon owns. And a nice collection of paintings that include a kind of like scary kids and like a painting of Saturn eating his young and stuff. Yes, all these like baby related. It's all like memento more like like skull young and stuff. Yes, all these like, they be related.

It's all like memento more like like skull paintings and stuff. It's like Charles band on brand like the guy loves death stuff. So they find it would be really funny if they were walking in the castle and Charles band's family photos were still up in the hallways. They didn't have the money to take these down and redress the set. Just like say that there's somebody used to live in the castle. I don't know. Yeah, like a, like a set decorator went to take a photo down

and was like, no, you're not union. You can't take that down. You got to leave that up. No, there's all these full moon posters up on the walls. Like, yeah, well, I guess she was a big fan of the amazing films that come out of film in studios. Like Puppet Master, et cetera. So they find a creepy nursery with a bunch of dolls hanging. They find a rocking horse. They find the Duchess' bedroom where we get a big clue here. John finds underneath the bed.

He finds that gross cat of nine tails. And he does exactly what you would think you would do, which is hit himself and is injured hand with it. Like this guy is not trusted around anything that's breakable or sharp. I guess that's a symbol of how he's kind of, yeah, he's, yeah, that's one idea that he's doing penance for his crimes

or also that he's doing penance for his crimes or also that he he's constantly like hurting himself. You know, he's a zoned worse enemy by lit. He really takes it in str- it isn't until much later in the movie that he realizes there's something weird about an old lady having a cat and nine tails under her bed. He just he takes it in str- he's like, why does she have this? Crazy. Anyway, moving on and then later in the movie, she's like, wait, why would she have a whip in her room? Look, Elliot, just because you're an older person doesn't mean you don't have fetishes. It's fine.

It's actually a good point. No, that's true. And I don't want to shame her on that. If that's what she's into, it's clearly not. We've seen the movie she's using it to torture her. But I don't want to shame her if she is into that. I will shame her for torturing a man in a prison cell. But you're right, Dan, perhaps that just was an outgrowth

of her natural kink, in which case more power to her. As long as she's not hurting anybody, which she is, which she is. This one. But if that wasn't the case, then yeah, go ahead. Go ahead, Duchess, be your bad cell, you know. Live your truth. I actually think all of these little touches

with Jeffrey Cums are to instill the self-loathing ideas so that when he goes nutsoid in the third act, it's not overacting. It's, there's, there's, there's, yeah, and all this stuff is eating, eating at him the whole time. Yeah, because overacting out of Jeffrey Cums comes would be very strange.

I mean, if you want somebody to go nutsoid in the third act, I mean, I can't think of anyone better. I feel like I want to make it clear. I love him. I'm not like his overacting is great overacting. Yeah. Yeah. F. Murray Abraham, Sam Neal levels. Okay. So while John gets engrossed in an old photo album. If this is on gross. Yep. He gets engrossed in an old photo album. He, of course, is not paying enough attention to his daughter who then wanders off.

And she hears a shuffling sound. And we're like, what is that sound? Of course, cat scare. We see that cool cat air actor from earlier in the movie. So that cat actor leads her back on a Mary chase. I heard the respect that the hammer her deserves. The cat leads her back on a Mary chase down into the dungeons. Rebecca takes a little spill, goes rolling down the dungeon. Like it's

not even steps at this point. It's just like, like a ram, like a ram filled with like nodules and like sharp points. And she, she cuts her knees and the cats like, yeah, when she's like, shut the fuck up. And the cat, stew, stew, stew, that is a, that is a radical reading of the, of the interaction. You're putting a lot is a radical reading of the of the interaction You're putting a lot of your you're projecting a lot of yourself onto that interaction between Becca and the cat Yeah, you know um, so The cat is clearly leading her down there because the cat found the old like serving dish that

That's so that George you had been given earlier a place that often sausage had been laid. Cat is the cat is being very garfield here where it's like feed me. I hate Mondays. I live in the castle. Yep. And then that garfield goes to find its ody in the form of a very food deprived Georgia who's passed out on the bottom of his cell. Rebecca is asking if anyone's there. She's like, we have this moment of a blind character who's just right outside of the cell of a horrible monster character. And then she wanders off. The cat tries to leave not so fast, Kitty. And we see a, as a cat lover, a kind of difficult to watch sequence where Georgia drags the cat back into the room and then attacks a very funny cat puppet.

Through the conveniently placed pet door in the torture cell. Yeah, that's actually who installed that. That's my question is that the Dutchist was like, you know what, I want Georgio to stay in here, but I want the cat to feel free to go wherever he wants. Let's, I'll just make sure that there's an entrance for the cat here. Yeah, do you think it's in Rage, Georgio further because he has, he's like,

I'm confined to this little cell, but the cat can go anywhere. Like what mom, you love that cat more than you love me. That's not true, Georgio. Well, I'm a prisoner and the cat can do whatever he wants. Oh, well, you make a good point, Georgie. Like it's a but I will say when the cat is pulled into the door. That is the most effective cat acting in that. I don't think that cat's acting. I think they are pulling it against its will through the door, which is kind of upsetting. Yeah. That's probably right. But it's very affecting. Unless the cat was like spent the whole day being like, I gotta get into this moment. Like, what do I draw upon my own life

to really feel like I'm being pulled through this. Yeah, the cat watches roar a couple times. The movie lines attack people. Jesus, I was trying to explain that movie to someone recently. I'm like, you know what? Explaining this is a fool's hair. And you're like, mom, you have to understand. The lines are attacking people for realsies. But John, but John debauched head mom. But's wasn't my mom, but that's, but for the, say, other joke. So, yeah, George E.O. takes the cat, devours a chunk out of it,

finally, assassinates any powers up, and then he hurls the carcass into the corner. You can see his energy bar goes all the way to maximum. Yes, right. George E.O. levels up. He's got access to better spells, and that's... Yeah. Uh, so at this point, we also have, uh, John realizes that his daughter's missing.

He goes running around the house looking for that, of course, makes Susan freak out because he did exactly what she expected, which was not pay attention to their daughter, and they go looking for her. They bump into her and they have a scene where they talk about, you know, they, they, you know, they talk about various levels of responsibility. They address her injury, et cetera. Meanwhile, we have probably the most important scene of the movie. And that's where George Eau now powered up realizes he needs to get the

fuck out of there. We can't have a castle freak trapped in a cell. So he can't get his hand out of the cuff of his manacles. So he takes a big bite out of his thumb, breaking his thumb, and then he pulls his hand from the manacle ripping his thumb from his hand. Somewhere in the castle who at one point ripped his own ding dong now i i you know was it steward's words ding dong was steward's words

uh... i of course was intrigued by this and by steward's and who's he has them for castle for dan dan as a as a huge fan of cinematic genital mutilation said i I've got to see this. How did I miss it? Let me at this movie. So I watched it. And I was like, I came back to the podcast as I steward.

There's no ding dong ripping scene. What are you talking about? And it was really great because, you know, a normal friend would approach me off air to talk to him. But no, he wants, he wants to hold my feet to the fire of our dirty laundry. And so my favorite, my favorite show the ding dong, though, don't they? They show his like severed stump of a penis. And I believe I will, I will suggest that in the process, he may even rip it off himself,

but we'll find out. Maybe I should check my autographed picture of Jonathan Fuller, where Jonathan Fuller explains he ripped it off himself. Or maybe you should check the tweet you had from Stuart Gordon, where he says no, because he's not rip his own ding-dong. Well, somebody tweeted at Stuart Gordon,

hey, did the Castle Freak rip his own ding-dong off and Stuart Gordon's entire tweet was just no. That seems pretty definitive, but it's a complicated issue. Elliot, do you want me to explain artists intent to you? I'm sorry, you're with. I know that according to Marcel Duchamp's the role of the spectator and art, Stuart, your reading of this scene

is as valid as Stuart Gordon's, if anything, more valid than Stuart Gordon's? And that a piece of art does not really exist as a piece of art until it is observed by a spectator and interpreted. But in this case, I think I'm gonna have to probably go with Stuart Gordon. Okay, well, so this is in either case. This is an incredibly easily said. is this verifiable I mean the fact about it not being a movie is very A free frame

A solve this What I would ask Dan to do is after we're done recording to go frame by frame What you did when you rented a DVD of Who Frame Brought Your Habit. That's right. You'll frame by frame, you just... To prove that I'm wrong. Otherwise, I think, I mean, you know, whatever. So we...

I think Stuart, I don't know why you haven't yet done at a live show. A is a prudertive presentation of the scene where you have a pointer and you're like down and off. He exit down and off. Clearly you can see it as hand goes. But maybe that's for another day. What would be the motivation for ripping off his ding dong? That's a good motivation.

We know the motivation for ripping off his thumb. Yep, that's true. That he's ripping off his thumb to free him from like physical captivity. And I feel like he's removing his ding-dong to separate himself from, I don't know the- The captivity of sexual desire. Exactly. The temptations of the flood. Yes, for the responsibility of being a-

On the air producing landowner. I say you're saying that he didn't want the responsibility of taking care of a child. Yes. And so this was the quickest way to ensure that never happened. But we know from later scenes that he is not freed from sexual desire. Oh, that's true.

That's true. Well, we'll get there in a second. So Stuart, perhaps he, and this was the last all interject about his dang dong for the moment. Uh, perhaps he liked Boston Corbett, the man who shot John Wilkes Booth, uh-huh. Perhaps like him, he removed it on purpose with a pen knife, so that he could be more holy and not be plagued by those sexual desires, which that man did do at one point, and then he

had to go to a doctor and the doctor was like, why did you do this? It's crazy. Yeah. Well, we'll, we'll see. Maybe it'll play out in the rest of the movie. So also wait, wait, or is it possible that there was a little manacle around his penis? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I mean, that's a good way to trap somebody.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. To be honest, I'd be much more ginger about trying to pull out of that manacold, the one on my wrist. Yeah. Uh, so, uh, give me a second. I have to, okay, cool. So, uh, we, George Eoscapes, George Eoscapes sees himself in a mirror and shatters it. Okay.

I think that was probably the nod to the movie poster. Well, and to the Lovecraft story, that's the climactic point in the Lovecraft story. So we cut to a scene of the daughter Rebecca, a sleep at night, and George Eo creeps up on her and he does some creepy shit where he keeps trying to pull her, covers down. And then he makes a sound and she wakes up and he's terrified, he's hiding from her and then he flees in terror

because he like doesn't want to interact with her. And this is a great scene of Jonathan Fuller's acting and it builds this full castle-free character. I like it. Rebecca at this point is freaking out because there's somebody in her room. She tells her father. He tries to find the intruder.

Of course, we have a scene where George O. draped in a blanket pretends to be furniture draped in a blanket. That's a little foreshadowing for what's going to happen to our heroes later. It's the one moment where I'm like, oh, so the Duchess, did she, George Eau like Abbott and Castellan was throwing up? And John, you know, John's looking for an intruder and this is when he finds the family tomb, specifically finds the grave of George Eau and there's a little photo next to his tomb

and it looks exactly like his son, JJ. So we have this scene of him looking at the picture, he touches the picture, he says, JJ over and over. George Eau sneaks up and watches him do this. Um, it's like, it's like George, you know, it's like, are you calling me? Oh, JJ, I thought you were saying George, I'm so sorry about that. Let me, I mean, they sound alike. I think George, you know, is the JJ of Italy. You're calling Jimmy JJ Walker? Is that what you're talking? Jay Jonah Jameson is actually George, you know, George, you know, Jameson.

Okay. Wait, that doesn't make any sense. Jonah is clearly his middle name. Why wouldn't Jonah doesn't stand for George, you know, but I don't know why you're slowing the podcast down. So John contacts the police and of course they don't believe him. That's, I that that that's an important horror trope uh... and he also tells he tells his wife and she thinks he's going crazy yeah and i mean maybe maybe i mean she obviously doesn't she's not gonna be on his in his corner in any situation at this point so he john storms off she even says on his in his corner in any situation at this point.

So he, John storms off, she even says they, you know, they have a fight. He's trying to show her that Georgia looks just like J.J. and she clearly believes that this is his guilt weighing down on him. And he, he makes the comment, you wish I had died and she's like, yeah, totally I wish he'd died. So he storms off, he climbs to the, like the parapets of the castle. And there's another moment where the movie actually follows him all the way through the castle. So we get some sense of like, sense of the space.

Like we get, we get an understanding of the geography of the castle. And he calls it also, it doubles as if, if, in case Charles Van wanted to sell the castle, he would already have like a walk through video he could show to people. Yeah. They're like, we like this place, but does the freak come with the house? No, that's a good question. The freak will come with me. The housekeeper stays with the house, but that's my freak and I'll take it.

I'm in the process. I'm in a similar process of home shopping right now, and that's the kind of conversation I have all the time. Does the fire table come with the house? No, we'll take that with us, but the freak will stay in the basement. Well, I could you take that because I don't have to pay for the removal.

Well, we'll give you credits off of the closing costs to pay for the freak removal. It's not the same thing, but okay. So John climbs up to the battlements and he contemplates suicide for a moment. Like he, he's, he's at a very low point. Okay. So instead of doing that, he does the next best thing, which is he falls off the wagon and he goes to a local cafe in town and starts drinking. He gets very drunk. He befriends a local prostitute

named Silvana and he gets 86 from that bar. And it is a very brightly lit bar that looks like it is not prepared to handle a very drunk American guy. Also, great Jeffrey Combs drunk acting. They get thrown out and he suggests, hey, I have some more wine. I know a place where he can get some wine, of course. He takes it. I think he's not aware that he's so drunk, he's not aware she's the town prostitute.

That's probably true. She, I mean, Jeffrey Combs is an incredibly handsome leading man type. So he, he's, yeah, I don't know why you're dragging every goam. I'm not sure if that was a dig or not. Doesn't make sense. Although one of the things I like about this is that of, if you look at that, the, if you look at the, the trilogy of Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Krampons, your Gordon movies, he plays a different type of character in each one. And this one is more straightforward, non-mad scientisty character.

I mean, you compare this to Herbert West and they're totally different characters. They still have that same kind of madness in a way, but yeah, they play different roles and they're different personalities. It's really fantastic. Whereas Herbert West's obsessed with some kind of green liquid,

he John Riley's obsessed with some kind of green liquid, he, John Riley's obsessed with some kind of alcoholic liquid. Mm-hmm, Amber or purple liquid, depending on, I guess, what he's drinking. Yeah. So, John and Sylvanne go back to the castle after the wine solar. He's so drunk that, I guess, he doesn't notice, he would, to be honest, him. He would never know that she was a prostitute, except for the way she's dressed and how she immediately puts her arm in his and also how she's the only woman in the entire bar and

Everyone in the in the room has the familiarity that you would have with someone that you've slept with So how could he know? So they go back to his wine seller They drink a little bit of wine and then they get frisky Georgieau sneaks up and watches them make love She then reveals John's immediately embarrassed and then she reveals that she is a prostitute by asking for money.

He accepts this and then he goes and he lays, he like curls up in a corner and gets drunker and passes out. She has to find her way home. Uh oh, she's trapped in that castle. Georgio sneaks up. With her free. Yeah. Georgio uses the nursery to lure into the room home. Uh oh, she's trapped in that castle. George, Joe, Steve Sulfur, yeah. George, Joe uses the nursery to lure into the room and then he captures her.

Uh, and this sex scene like a lot of steward Gordon sex scenes is pretty explicit. Yeah. That's okay. That's, I don't know, I got nothing to say about that. Um, okay. But the free, the free sex scene, well, that's good. We'll get to that. But I think the sex scene like there's, I don't know anything to say about that. Okay. The freak 16. Well, that's good. We'll get to that. But I think the sex scene, like there's, I don't know. I feel like the sex scene between Jeffrey Cums and this actress is pretty, was it? I think, fairly, I think the only thing that bugs me

about it really is that he starts pouring wine all over her and like, that just seems gross. Yeah, yeah. That's usually not, that's not like first date material. Yeah, I mean, mean, and she's clearly miffed by it at first until she remembers that he's gonna pay her money afterwards, but like she's probably all sticky after that. Yeah, I mean, that's that's a good alcoholic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's my favorite thing together. I mean, again, though, I don't want to get anyone's young, but like I've never understood like, I've never understood the food. I don't want to yuck anyone's, but I've never understood like, I've never understood the food sex. I don't want to yuck anyone's young. We've talking about a ding dong ding ripped off by a freak. But I've never gotten the food sex thing because I like watching in movies. I'm just like, that's a lot of cleanup. That's all I can think about when I'm watching.

I'm just like, for the trouble, I don't know. You've got to take a lot of windex afterwards. I think combining two of life's greatest pleasures in one situation is the ideal way to go. You think that cleanup is too much trouble. It's too much. Okay, I mean, it doesn't always have to be like soup. But sometimes I can be soup.

Correct me if I'm wrong. It isn't the about to use his mouth on her. That's the time that he pours the, and the fact that about to use his mouth on her at the time that he pours the, and the fact that he does use his mouth on her is an important signal to Georgia. It's like, it has bad consequences later. Yeah. Horrifying consequences. Yeah.

He said to Dan, for GeorgiaO that will unfortunately be replicated. Yeah. And before we leave off that subject, Dan, sex tip, do you don't have to use molasses? Like, that's, I think I know you love it, but don't try something else. Uh-huh. Okay. Okay. I'm so favorite type of sweet thing.

The weird, bitter flavor of molasses. So we cut to the next morning, the police arrive at the castle and they want to ask John some questions because Sylvanne never came home that night and that she is a mother, that she has a child. George E.O. at this point while the police are interrogating, or just asking questions with John. Um, George Eau, and that, of course, leaves that leads to an awkward situation with John's

wife because Susan is already angry with him. She's not more happy by him bringing a prostitute to their castle home and then her disappearing. George Eau has tied, he's changed Sylvana up in the basement and he tries to form some kind of a connection with her, he tries to replicate behaviors that John was performing. She tries to convince him to let her go. He can't communicate because he has been mutilated and doesn't have a tongue. She then tries to, she then tries to, I guess, pleasure him

and realize that he doesn't have a penis. It was removed in an earlier scene that I mentioned. No, Stuart, I think that annotation I'm gonna have to take issue with. I believe that's we don't know the cause of the non-penis, but I don't know. I believe we do see something fleshy and floppy. Yeah, I think it's, I think it's his, his ball sack. All the visual effects were provided by I think like optic nerve visual effects, which is the effects company run by Glenn Hattrick from that face-off television

show on Sci-Fi channel. And again, the guy who looks like Goth Guy Fieri, which is awesome. So meanwhile, Agnese, the housekeeper finds Sylvanas Perse. She tells her brother who is the attorney that she's found this person, the attorney, let's John know, look, they're going to arrest you. And if you want me to help get you out of this trouble, I know you didn't do anything,

but if you need help getting out of this trouble, it's gonna cost you more money. This is such a great scene because the guy playing the attorney is so completely inhabiting this totally amoral, like unethical attorney who is like, it's not a problem. They have no evidence.

She's a woman of ill-reputed. Do not have to worry about it. You're totally fine. He gets a phone call from his sister that the bag's running, goes, well, this is a different story. My services, of course, will come at quite a price. And he doesn't even skip a beat.

He just like, there's no moment where he even has to think about it or switch gears. He goes immediately, like, ah, yes, he's he's he's he's he. Uh, okay. Uh, now I'm going to do this. I'm going to blackmail you. He's so good. And he also, he explains that the, uh, he also finally

reveals John's relationship with the family that, uh, that the American soldier who the Duchess had fallen in love with, they had gotten married, they had had the child together, and then the American ran off with the Duchess's sister, and they ran to America, and they had a child, and that child's name was John Riley. That's right, Jeffrey Combs is the what half brother of George Eau. And of course, you know, he shocked and he has that revelation, et cetera, et cetera. Meanwhile, back at the castle, George Eau is doing some horrible things to Silvana. She had attempted to stab him Sylvana. She had attempted to stab him to free herself and that did not go well. And he attacks her. Agnesa follows the sounds and finds Sylvana only to be attacked by Georgia

with his manacles. And she gets, yeah, it's pretty gross. By the way, can we backtrack just for a minute? Yes, please. You know, in Reanimator, Stewart Gordon has a head giving head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in this movie, he has Georgia, literally eating pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He does, he's copying Jeffrey Combs. but so Stuart Gordon has this thing about taking clearly literal sexual slang and enacting it visually on screen. To various levels of appeal. I wish that he like took that as

far as he could go with like, literalizing phrases where it like, there's a certain point where dogs and cats are literally falling out of the sky. Like Stuart Gourney makes these great horror movies, but he's always got to include one pun in there. Yeah, he's got a little bit of literalize a turn of phrase. But this, this is the scene in the movie where it like, and I, I, I like horror movies a lot, but this is the scene in the movie where like, and I like hard movies a lot, but this is the scene in the movie where I'm like, check please.

Like, this is a little too much for me. It is incredibly graphic. It's such a true song. It's such a true song. It's such a true song. It's such a true song. Yeah. Silvana.

Yep. Yes. It's incredibly gruesome, even the more so when you've realized that she is still alive. Well, this is happening. Yeah. You know, it's, Yeah, it's horrifying. And George Eau, when Agnés affine Silvana who's still alive, he kills the two of them.

Meanwhile, the... If George Eau's like, I killed the maid. Am I the maid now? Yes, so. And like, dress us up in her clothes and is cleaning the house. I guess I belong to the house. The Rebecca Susan and Rebecca try to leave their tired of John's bullshit, but the police stop them. And they start searching the house. John, they, uh, John shows up with the, uh,

with the attorney. They're checking out the tomb john strina explainess theory when they come upon the dead bodies dead and mutilated bodies of sovana and egnaza uh and the uh attorney at this point uh his his at this point we realized john is definitely going to need an attorney and then his attorney starts attacking him because his sister was just found murdered. Yeah, and at some point we discover that the investigating police officer is the father of Silvana's child. Yeah, I think it's it's it isn't for sure, but it's heavily believed among the town that though ever that she is she's had relations with the ever in the town he is the only one who is getting a job and considering we see them together later at the end I think we can

but unlike the ding dong theory which has no supporting evidence within the film uh... this this theory is amply supported with visual and thematic evidence and plot evidence and probably multiple reddit threads explaining it. Okay. Yeah. That video that all those articles on Vox that were like the relationships of Castle Freak explained. The end credits scene explained. So, John his, John has figured this whole thing out. He's, he knows that there's someone else in the house. He talks about the, the whip. He realizes that, you know, that she that the Dutch has had been holding Georgie over there. Nobody believes that he breaks. He he breaks open Georgie's

coffin to show that it's empty. There's just rocks in it. There's no body. Uh-huh. John, John is arrested. The Susan and Rebecca are expected to stay in the castle. As I don't know some kind of a hazing ritual, in order to get this already. It's pretty crazy that they're like, they're like, this is a crime scene. Of course, you two ladies are free to stay. They're not even given the option of getting a hotel room.

It's just like, oh, well, we would never seek to kick you out of your home that you've been in for several nights. Yeah, they're given a police detail to protect them of two policemen who I hope don't have families. Georgio uses all of his stealth techniques that he's learned to distract and then murder the police.

Yeah, he's a real solid snake. He's just going through the vents, sneaking around. John is interrogated and he manages to trick the detectives and break free and get out of there. Uh, Susan and... Well, now, now by trick, you mean he hits the detective over the head with it, like, a chair like... I mean, that's a classic trick.

I mean, Like, it's, it's not a battle of which, like, he hits him with a stick and then he runs away. It's certainly the fate of anyone who does not give me a treat on Halloween. So George O. has taken out the cops. He waits for Susan to leave Rebecca alone before he knocks Susan out. And then he sneaks up on Rebecca while she's changing and then drags her away. Susan chases after them.

They have a showdown where George Eau has Rebecca in his clutches and Susan shows up with a knife and hidden behind her back and she distracts him and says, no, take me, take me instead of my daughter. He attempts to and then she stabs him with that knife. The two of them run away. They run up onto the parapets of the castle that we'd seen earlier.

It is raining heavily. George E.O. shows up up covered in blood and not happy. But before he can stop them, before he can do horrible things to them, John shows up recently freed from the police custody and they get in a fight on the roof. They battle for a bit. John eventually gets taken down and Giorgio hits him

a bunch of chains. Uh, and then John grabs until that until that moment. John is fighting amazingly well. Yeah. A man who is I still probably hung over. Yeah. And also has been dealing with being interrogated by policeman. He's like, he's really taken that out on this freak.

And it was at that moment that I was like, why did I assume the castle freak would be super strong and an amazing fighter. He's been trapped inside of a cell for it's like it's not Cape Fear where he was working out in his cell for years, right? I mean, he's also fighting Ford's family, I'll even imagine the the preternatural strength that you would have if your family was threatened. Oh, no, I mean, the scariest thing about this movie to me watching it this time, because the last time I saw it was before my children were born, watching it this time, the scariest thing in it was the idea that I would somehow be responsible for my son's death

in a car accident or that he would, or that he would die in a car like that. I was so much more frightened by that. And then when the freak showed up, I was like, oh thank goodness, this like movie scary stuff. Like it's like when I saw the Baba Duke and every when she freak showed up, I was like, oh, thank goodness. This is like movie scary stuff. Like, it's like, when I saw the Baba Duke, and when she's in the car and her son is just really bothering her and she's losing it, I was like, this is too real. And then when the Baba Duke showed up, it was the same reaction of like, oh, what a relief.

It's a monster. Okay, good. But all the, over the top, Jeffrey comes acting here at the end is justified by the fact that he's already screwed up twice. And it's like, now the two last remaining members of his family are about to be killed. And so he's got absolutely nothing to redeem himself. Yeah, yeah. This is, this is last chance.

He can't just stop him. The only way he's gonna have to do it, the only way he's gonna save his family is by grabbing onto a chain and dragging Georgia off the parapets, both killing Georgia and himself. So the only way he's to save his family is by killing himself. It's also how Stewart saves his family ends right with Frank and

Monster and jumping off a castle. Yeah, exactly now George is totally dead But he is John is just dying so he gets one final moment where he gets to You know, he gets to say his parting goodbyes to his wife who forgives him I think and her like her final thing, which of course you're gonna do. Like the guy's dying. You don't gotta be me doing. That's what it's, yeah. It's not like you're like ice cube killing the Anaconda

at the end of Anaconda. You don't have to say something. It's Stewart's etiquette book. I would love it. Like a guy's dying. You don't gotta be me doing. And then, so the nightmare is nightmares over we get the final shot. Susan Rebecca dressed for a funeral are in a car in the car leaving the castle and they pass the the head of the police who is holding hands with what we assume to be Sylvanus son. And that's the end of the movie. And I think I think a very kind of a meaningful

summer final shot. Yeah. So normally going, sorry. I just wanted to something that I noticed this viewing on the movie, which I didn't notice for is that George Joe the Castle Freak. And again, I just want to say what a great performance it is. And there's a there's a before he goes before the fight with with Barbara Crampton, there's a long scene of him trying to win over the daughter and not quite being able to do it. Is that George Eau as this character who is kind of like, this kind of like beast-y-all figure,

he can only talk in grunts and kind of trying to say words. He's all chained up. He's this kind of like thin, but wiry and strong figure. I realize, and it's like scragally hair coming off of him. He's basically a gritty reboot of Animal the Muppet when it comes down to it. Okay. I wondered, I'd never noticed, there's a certain point during the movie when I was like, wait a minute, it's like, and he chases after women, just like Animal the Muppet does.

I'm like, this is kind of, it's like if animal the muppet was a real thing, he would be incredibly frightening. Just this like creature dragging chains and chasing after people and just grunting at them. So I wonder if that was, I would love to talk to Stuart Gordon and be like, were you at all inspired by the muppets when you made Castle Freak? And I assume he would then block me on Twitter and close the door in my face or whatever response. But does the castle freak have any even slightly redeeming moment? You know, like, you know, Frankenstein does and King Kong does. And, you know, like, like, I always have this, like a moment of tenderness so much. Well, a moment where you kind of feel the pain of the freak.

Yeah, because you, I don't think, I don't think there is. I don't think you ever like sort of like the freak, right? Even the moment where even the early moments where he's trying to like form some kind of a connection with Rebecca, it's done, it's pretty creepy. Like he's like, he's like, yeah, the only time you feel sorry for him is when he's beaten with the cat and I

and tells before the opening credits. Yeah, that's, that's kind of the only part. Yeah. But I mean, you're like, oh, that poor man. And then you see him and you're like, whoa, oh boy. What is this? At a nine tails, please. Right.

Yeah, you're like, I totally get it. The dust should be beaten in with that cap of nine tails. It's sort of one of those where, oh, this guy has to die. Yeah, from the very beginning, you know? Yeah, as, as like sad and horrible a monster he is, he does it like, yeah, it's time, you gotta put him out of his misery, you gotta get rid of him.

Well, do you see that? Do you think that's kind of like a failing of the movie or just like, okay? I think it might be a failing of the movie. It's like, because he is as he is through no fault of his own. Yeah, and so, yeah, I would say that, and I think one of the things that's interesting about it is that like John Venn Fuller's performance as George Eo

is so great that he could have handled a little more nuance. Like he could have, if they had given him more or a sympathetic scene, he could have delivered with it. Yeah, I mean, we have to assume that Stuart Gordon just wanted it to be in your face nasty, irredeemable. Yeah, I don't know. You know, he's something that I really get people to break out their barf bags.

Yeah. Because it is very, it is like, it's so hard to get over that scene with Sylvana. And it's like, like you're saying, like Frankenstein causes a little girl to drown, but he's still sympathetic. It's still clear like he doesn't know what he's doing and it's, you know, he's just trying to, he's trying to play, but with Georgia, it's so horrific that you can't be like, oh, well, he's just, he doesn't know what he's doing.

Like it's, I don't know. Yeah, and the, the, you can't excuse him. And it's, I mean, it's such a, it's such a high bar at that point. It raised the stakes so high where you're like, oh my God, I don't want to see him do this again to anybody. No. You'd have to donate a lot of money to the local hospital to get to really get over that. Like open the Georgia, the Georgia T. Freak wing of the low cost at all.

Yeah, I do also want to point out before we wrap up our conversation on Castle Freak, I think the score for this movie is so hilarious. It's so like weird classic like medieval like like nights and swords type scords like do do do do do like in scenes where he's like like this horrible monster is chasing people through the castle it's still like silly it's obviously the cheapest possible thing they could do but man woof now but now now we have to talk about what

dark rear lobe of your brain uh-huh makes you constantly have to revisit Castleford. Oh, I think I mean, I mean, you know, maybe I'm exploring some of my own demons. Guys, I forgot to tell you that before the podcast started 12 years ago, I inherited a castle. Oh, wow. Yeah, maybe you've ever invited us over.

Maybe. Yeah. That's where Dan would go. Of course. Yes. Maybe the relationship between John and his half brother, George, you know, I think maybe that has something to do with my own, uh, relationship with my own brother. Maybe we'll find out.

Um, I would love it, Stuart. If you were like, I don't know, there's nothing. I don't, I don't know why I relate to it. I mean, I was raised in a cell and constantly beaten with a cat and nine tails and ripped off my own ding dong. Wait a minute. Just, just amazing psychological breakthrough. Yeah, a chance pulmonary at the end of usual suspects moment of like, all those things happening in the movie. I thought it'd be like, wait a minute, I get it. I like Barbara Crappton. I think you missed the Porsche for the trees there,

but which once again, this is another great Barbara Crappton performance. Oh sure, she's always. It is, even though she's not a, it's a very mom role, which is not what she normally does. Yeah, she's very like nagging in this movie. She's nagging enough that even her daughter, who does a lot of nagging, is like, hey, mom, you're nagging too much.

Well, that's another failing other movie for me, is that it's kind of like in breaking bad when Skylar, everyone's like, oh, she's such a shrew. And it's like, well, her husband's being really terrible as a husband and father, that like Barbara Crampton comes off as nagging, but like, she has a genuine beef with her husband, the alcoholic who killed her son and blinded her dog, you know. Yeah. Look, normally here we would do final judgments, but I think if we said anything other than this being

the greatest movie that was ever made, Stewart would rip his own ding-dong off of the rage. And we wouldn't want that. I mean, because maybe like, is this an audio medium and people wouldn't get to enjoy that side? I like the movie, which features it. genre film fans hear me, I know you're out there. Do not be ashamed of your love for Gore, action sci-fi or fantasy. It's time to come out of the shadows.

Because on Switchblade Sisters, we celebrate our love for Jean-Refillem's. I'm Film Critic April Wolfe. Each week I have a conversation with a different female filmmaker about their fave Jean-Refillem, and we cover film craft, getting projects off the ground, working with actors, in our general love for genre movies. I've had so many great guests like Heather Graham. In the past, it's like so many films are made by men that the female point of view is not always respected,

which is why all these stories haven't come out till now. Jennifer's body director, Cardin Kusama. I think there's a lot more fantasy and a lot more expectation projected onto a woman director. Comedian an actor, Kate Berlant. I mean, it sounds so cheesy to talk about it in yourself. Like, you just keep going.

You know, I'm just a vessel. Like, I just do it. You know, I don't think, but like, that is what it is. And many others. So check out Switchblade Sisters every Thursday on MaximumFund.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi everybody, I'm your oldest brother, Justin McAroy. I'm your middle-aged brother, Travis McAroy. And I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McAroy.

Me and 3,000, your closest friends just found your next podcast obsession. Zero. Okay, but like the second best podcast. Zero. Oh, f**k. Just listen to my brother, my brother, and me on MaximumFund.org. There you go. Perfect. by like the second Best Buy Cast. I'm a second. Oh, f***, just listen to my brother, my brother, and me on MaximumFund.org.

There you go. Perfect. Hey. Hey guys. We hope you're enjoying this special episode that we had a guest on, Mr. Joe Bob Briggs, to that end. While we were recording, we didn't want to make him sit around while we did all of our housekeeping. So there are a couple important announcements that it

falls upon me to fill you in on after the fact. The first is the flop house is going on tour this summer and fall. We mentioned it a little bit during the Max Fund drive, but the Max Fund drive was kind of what we wanted to put the main focus on, so we didn't talk about it a lot, but we're going to be at Revolution Hall in Portland on June the eighth. We're going to be at the Parkway in Minneapolis on July the 13th. And Boston will be at WBUR City Space on September the 28th. And in Los Angeles, we'll be at the region on October the 12th.

And if you go to flopphousepodcast.com and click on the events page, you can get links to tickets to all of those and more details like the exact time or whatever. They're all at night. So you can guess at the time, but yeah, that's the deal. It's going to be a lot of fun, a lot of travel for us, a lot of carry on baggage, a lot of me looking technical equipment around, hoping that no one thinks that they're dangerous in any way and tries to confiscate them, just a lot of fun for everyone, not a lot of stress for me at all. Moving on, there's a contest, a hopefully not ill-defined contest this time around that I want to announce.

If you have noticed the Flop House merch that you can get at the Topotico store has not been replenished in a long, long time, nothing new to buy there if you're interested in Flop House items. So, we wanted to change that. We wanted to do a new t-shirt and we're not good at this, so we thought why not make you do it? With a design a t-shirt contest. So the outlines are simple. Do a t-shirt design and then mail it to us at the Flop House Podcast at gmail.com. That's the Flop House Podcast at gmail.com.

Put, let's say t-shirt contest in the subject line. So it's all easy to filter out for me. And the winner will get to choose a movie for us to talk about. And then I'll also get a little scratch not that much Basically the typical deal is You guys will get whoever wins will get one dollar per shirt sold in the first six months or we can Pay you a flat rate around a hundred to two hundred dollars Not a lot of money apologize for that, but I'll also let you know

a little secret. We do not get rich off the merch. The merch is a very small cut of any money we see from the podcast. So we're not trying to screw anyone over here. That's just kind of what we can do for you. But we didn't want you to get nothing if we were profiting off of your design. So that's basically it. You, the prizes, get to choose a movie for us to talk about and a little money. Sorry, I'm coughing a lot. Not now, obviously, I'm obviously not coughing, but if my throat seemed raw and I'm clearing my throat a lot, that's why I apologize.

But here's the boring technical information that doesn't make any sense to me, but hopefully makes sense to you as a designer. For shirts, MaxFund likes to work within a 12 by 14-inch area, maximum, and keep the ink colors to 4 or fewer. CMYK files preferred, RGB is fine though, and 300 DPI minimum. So 12 by 14 area, keep the ink colors to four or fewer. CMYK files preferred, RGB is fine, 300 DPI minimum.

Unless that was all joke from Kira from Max Fund to make me read a bunch of gibberish, those are the technical stats. Oh, and the contest period will be, let's say from when you hear this episode in mid April,ime I'm not really sure when this drops until the end of May. So you have until the end of May to get those contest entries in. Thank you for listening. Sorry, it wasn't as rambly as normal and back to the show.

We've been going a little while in Castle Freak as we should because it's looms so large in Flapphouse lore, but now we should move on. So we got a sponsor. Now we'll move on to the rest of the show where we will make our guests sit through the other random stuff that we did, and then apologize to him afterwards, I assume.

No, I hope he has stuff to add, except for probably not this next immediate bit where we talk about Squarespace. I don't know maybe Joe Bob has experienced a Squarespace day. Like I should assume. Squarespace you can create a beautiful website to turn your cool idea into a new website that's redundant but blog or publish content. So, Dan, I'm going to ask you to start over. Wait, I shouldn't copy edit, copy. Sorry. No.

And more. Look, if you want to put a great castle freak fan site online, why not do a Squarespace? Because it features beautiful customizable templates created by world class designers, a new way to buy domains and choose from over 200 extensions, analytics that help you grow in real time, and 24-7 award-winning customer support. If you want customer support, why not make it award-winning? And 24-7. Make it stand out with a beautiful website from Squarespace.

Hey, check out squarespace.com slash flop, we're free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That was your saying that was going to be our special thank you gift to Joe Bob for doing the show. He can use offer code flop to get a discount on Squarespace. Now Dan, I was wondering if Squarespace could help me. I had an idea for a website. I wanted to run it by you and see if Squarespace would be able to help me with it.

Now, look, how many times this happened to you? You just inherited a castle. You're in trouble keeping track of how many freaks are in there. Well, that's what we at InventoryFreak.com would handle with you. We are freaks for inventorying freaks. We will keep an inventory of how many freaks you have.

We won't let them get like, look, even if they're not in their cell, we will double count to make sure one that we got all the freaks, two that we didn't accidentally double count a freak if it escapes after we've counted it. And three, we also, for an extra service, will inventory which freaks have ding-dongs, which ones don't. We don't get into how they lost them. That's something that we don't

need to, that inventory freak.com just doesn't handle. But we can help you inventory the freaks in your castle because we are at inventoryfreak.com. We're freaks for inventorying freaks. Now, Dan, do you think Squarespace would be able to help me with that? Dan I think it would. Just use offer code flop for a discount on your next, I don't know, freak inventorying enterprise. Yeah. And now, what about customer service? Is it 24-7?

Because we would often be doing this inventorying very late at night, often in stormy weather. Yep. I mean, I don't think we have to go over all of the copy again. That would be accurate. I mean, I don't think we have to go over all of the copy again. But I do think we've got a couple of jumbo trams. Who's ready for a jumbo tron? Who's got it pulled up? Or should I just... I've got mine queued up, Dan.

Ellie, why don't you go first? Sure. This, I was about to call it a jumbo tron. Dumbo in theaters now. This jumbo tron, that's a free one in case Disney wants to throw us some business. So this jumbo tron is a slightly serious one. This is four dawn draper and it's from bill. And the message is two dawn draper, the small gray fuzzy fellow, not the TV character, dawn. You were a very cool literal cat and your glowering looks of disapproval gave me joy

whenever I saw them on Facebook. I'll miss you that we've never met. To Aaron, I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. I hold you in the highest esteem, Worm regards, Bill. And so, a fitting farewell to a furry friend in this Castle Freak episode of the flop house. That's very cool. Oh man, okay. Uh, I'm now, I'm ready to do one.

I'm mad that I'm sad. Do you love horror movies? You said sad at what my amazing alliteration? Yeah, exactly. Can I get to my copy now? Yes. Do you love horror movies, but seem to always pick the worst of the bunch? Don't worry. We've probably already watched it. Spoop Squad is a podcast where we watch the worst horror films that streaming services have to offer, so that you don't have to.

We claw our way through terrible horror films to stumble upon the true diamonds in the rough. So join the Spoop Squad in the dark as they laugh in death's face on your favorite podcast provider. That's spooop with two P's. Wait, one in the middle, one in the end, or is there two? Yeah, just spell it, spell it, Stuart. I mean, it's SPOOP.

Okay, good. Okay, that's how I was expected, but I spooop squad. So it sounds like a podcast after our own heart here at the point. Yes. And speaking of horror movies and streaming, maybe we can mention the last drive in again, just to make sure the message gets through for people. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Well, it's mentioning it. The last drive every Friday night at, um, we do it. We do something that's against the religion of streaming, which is that we have a, we have a live feed event everybody watches at the same time. Yeah, it's really cool. So it's nine Eastern six specific every Friday night. And you guys did Castle Freak last week with special guest Barbara Crampton with Barbara Crampton.

Oh, man, that's so cool. And yeah, she talked about the castle. She talked about living in the castle and first she loves Jeffrey. Sure, yeah. And yeah, I, there's no Jonathan Foula in there, but well, you're living in the castle while they were shooting the movie. Yes, they were because is Charlie Bann going to pay for no he's not, when he has a castle. They lived in the castle, they ate in the castle. Yep, and Full Moon productions paid him

the owner of Full Moon productions to use his castle. I'm sure, right? That's how you do it. Yeah. And it on both ends there. But we should move on to letters. Yep, go on. Our next segment in the podcast. Uh-huh. Where we talk to our listeners. Uh-huh. We get letters from this. It's kind of one way, but

sure. Yeah. Yeah. So you say, and you seem very, do you seem very trepidacious about starting this segment? Uh-huh. I don't know why. No, it's fine. I would not, I would not waste our guests time with an overlong song that I'm making up off the top of my head. Okay, good. So this first letter might go something like this. We're so excited to have Joe Bob on the program today. Yes, yes, something we've been waiting for all our lives. Yes, yes, it is. Letters are just the icing on the cake of this great day. All right, great. I didn't even try for rhymes on that one. I didn't even try to rhyme anything. But that's great.

That's it kept it tight. So let's start off with this letter from John First Name with Hell. John Riley from Castlefreak. Who writes? There are a few animated movies that are, I think, successful psychological thrillers. Perfect blue, paprika.

There are also animated movies that bring the real creeps, secret of nimm, water ship down. The former tend to work because they're realistically rendered characters and lean into the surrealism that animation allows, and the latter anthropomorphized cute animals making them more relatable. And there of course the movies that just make you feel nice and gross and unsettled by the nature of their production quality. Anything back-she-wizard-american pop-mighty-mouse. What horror franchise monster could you see working in animation? Also, what cartoony animated character or character style would work as horror? Is it even possible or does the nature of cartoon representation strip away too

much of what horror needs? Thanks. And remember, noids do not have sex with doodles. Okay, that's good to know. Thanks for telling me that last part. Wait, wait, so noids have sex with anybody. I was told you should avoid the noise. Certainly if you're a pizza. Science knows little about noise since we've been avoiding them successfully for so long. So animation. I mean, I think the first one that comes to me is the idea that like, I feel like the Nightmare

and Elm Street franchise would lend self-load of the animated stuff because like, it's pretty like fantastic and also like the target or kids, I feel like maybe it might fall into the same category, I don't know. I mean, on an episode, Hellraiser would be terrifying with animation. Sure.

On an episode where we were. Oh, wow. Hellraiser really would be terrifying with animation. Yeah. You could take any horror movie, give it to a Japanese guy, it's gonna be terrifying in animation. That's true.

Yeah, I mean, like, that's a thing, like I'm like, have they made an animated version of Uzamaki by Chunji Ito? Cause that's the scariest drawings I've ever seen. Yeah. It's not necessarily straight horror, I guess, but like, it reminds me of the aliens cartoon show that they made but never broadcast in the 90s. That was like a pretty straightforward adaptation of aliens, but for kids with space-maring shooting. You know, but for kids with space and rain shooting, you know, but for kids, yeah, I

think it's a saw this on a wow. Because if you look up, if you look online, you can find, I think the animation demo real for it. But like that they released these aliens toys to go with this TV show. And then somebody realized, this is a crazy show to put out. Yeah, yeah, where it's like aliens bursting at a people's chest and things.

Was it based on the success of the animaniacs, which had the good fellas parody good feathers with birds? You know, for kids? I, yeah, I have to assume so. Yeah. I think on an episode that's, so, H.B. Lovecraft centered. I think that a cosmic horror sort of thing could work better in animation, maybe then live action because so much of it is based on just sort of as fantastic and unreal as you can get, but also to move to the second question though about whether something cartoony can be scary. I feel like there've been like a couple of I feel like there've been like a couple of video games, right, that are influenced by old kind of flesher brother of looks like Cuphead and what's the there's the one that's like a more of a first person thing. I don't know that one.

Yeah, Cup is pretty terrifying. It's just like the time at Kirby. No, but they like trade on side bike. No, Sk they like trade on side bike. No skater die I'm talking about River City ransom, but it trades on Was it wait to jam and Earl? Is that the one you're talking about? Sam and Max hit the road is what I meant, but it's oh yeah battle toads sure battle toads. That's it to me. It's got that Like those flesher brothers things are so unpredictable and and strange like now now Dan when you say flesher brothers things are so unpredictable and strange like. Now, now Dan, when you say flesher brothers, you mean flesher brothers, right?

Yeah. I do mean that. You don't mean that these are cartoon brothers I haven't heard of who are made out of human flesh, which is not that scary because everyone is. You got a point there earlier. You mean the flesher brothers who did like Betty Boop and Papa and Coco the clown. Okay. Yes. That there were cartoon pioneers and just sort of figuring out what could be done in cartoons.

And because they were figuring out what could be done in cartoons and realize that Amy think it could be done in cartoons, they did deeply weird things. And I think that that stuff has like an inherent creepiness just because they're manipulating the world in such a strange way. But it also has the creepiness of just old stuff. Like, I feel like old stuff kind of inherently at this point kind of. What's like, have you ever looked up pictures of old Halloween costumes from like the 1890s and 19 teens that's terrifying. Yeah. They're so scary. Archie is now attacking our special guest with with love. I mean, we're the what I can only assume that those were those Halloween costumes were like a plastic bag with the word he man written on the chest and then a mask of he man's face. Yes, exactly. That's the kind of Halloween ghost in the head of the turn of

the century. Yep, sure. But yeah, I mean, I think you had you actually had a good point because I feel like we've talked about special effects and particularly like very noticeable special effects, and particularly like very noticeable special effects when it comes to like digital effects. That like true cosmic horror and something that would be very different than like it would be hard to produce in a way that looks like physical and real might be better in an animated setting. Yeah. I don't know. Well, it's like how the, I'm a, as you guys know, I'm a big fan of in the mouth of madness. But at the end, there's that scene where Sam Niel's running from those monsters.

And they are scarier for being out of focus. Because when you look at, when you do as I do and you watch the behind the scenes footage of how they made the monsters, they stop being scary because they're just kind of like big, drippy puppets, basically. And so I wonder if you're right. That's it has to.

If something something that was very alien and all and it's more strange than outwardly scary, it might work better that way in animation. I don't know. The other thing is if you guys remember the in the Twilight Zone, the movie in the in the Jodante, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, when she gets trapped in the cartoon and there's just like blood dripping everywhere, it's like, that's pretty, that's a pretty scary old loony tune style moment. Yeah.

Oh, Yon, this next letter is from your dad, Tom last name with held. It says, I became a dad about seven months ago. Wait, is it my dad? Because my dad's not even Tom. Is it Tom? Oh, my dad is Tom Noonan. Oh, okay, never mind. In a way, all of our dads. I became a dad about seven months ago. And I've spent a lot of that time. Congratulations. How woefully unprepared I am for this new phase of my life. I find myself looking back through my memories

for key moments that stand out. I'm trying to find a shining star of a dad to guide me. But the image of fatherhood that keeps jumping out to me is Michael Keaton teaching his unborn son to shave and the commercials for my life. A movie I've never seen. That was, I remember so well watching the commercials for that and being like, there's no way this is an entertaining movie.

So Tom asks, Elliot, what's the best piece of parenting advice you got from a movie? Dan and Stu, how much Lamer's Elliot since becoming a dad? And would you drop him as a friend if not for the crucial party plays in your square space ads? I feel like Ellie is exactly as lame as he was. Oh yeah, no, that was exactly what I was going to say too. He was always lame. Don't say that because at, uh, uh, Joan Array thinks that I'm lame just because I'm a dad and he, I don't want him to know that I was always lame.

No, no, I just blame it on my children. I feel like, I feel like the great thing about about UL is you just sort of grew into it. You were always kind of a very straight laced, elderly man, and then you became a dad, and it all started, all the pieces fell into place. Oh yeah. I was, this is the role I was practicing for, rehearsing for my entire life. Getting, all those years that I spent boring my friends by stopping and reading all the historical plaques on statues. getting all those years that I spent boring my friends by stopping and reading all the historical

plaques on statues. Just so that I could bore my children with that. I've got two answers to this question. Number one, Tom, all the movies that are really sappy and not very good about businessmen who have to spend less time at work and more time with their families. That's essentially true. Even though those movies are not good, it's like, that's something where it's like, oh, I should spend less time at work and more. Like, now, less time recording this podcast when I literally could be upstairs eating dinner with my son, but instead I'm here, so.

I mean, it's putting, you know, food in your son's mouth by getting you paid, but whatever, I mean, but I could literally be putting food in my son's mouth, like a mother bird chewing it up and and regurgitating it. Yeah, kids like that, right? Kids love that. Yeah But if but if but if I was gonna pick a specific scene I would have to go to the classic parenting movie son of Godzilla where

Godzilla is teaching Minya how to breathe fire and all Minya can do is blow smoke rings until Godzilla steps on Minya's tail and Minya how to breathe fire. And all Minya can do is blow smoke rings until Godzilla steps on Minya's tail and Minya breathes fire for the first time. And I don't recommend the physical abuse aspect of that. That's problematic and it's not something I stand by. But the lesson I take from this is that Godzilla is kind of letting his son try and fail to accomplish something. And then he finds the right way to motivate his son

to succeed on his own. And in this case, it's stepping on his tail again. I don't recommend you step on your own child's tail. Should they have one? But like, what if they're like a lizard and it just comes off? I mean, that might help them, you know, fit in more at school if they didn't have that tail. I mean, they grow back. It doesn't just fall on your face. That's all good points. And that like my own son, he's just started learning how to read on his own. Yeah. And for a while, I was trying to like force him to read books.

I'm like, you know, how to do this. Read this word for me. And he didn't want to. And instead, I just had to give him the motivation of not reading him the one book that he wanted to read that I was really tired of reading him. And he the novelization of cars three. I mean, it was a cars related book.

I'll say that. And so he found that motivation and he did it also that scene ends with Godzilla rubbing Minya on the head in a way that's super adorable. And when, I don't know what it is, when you're at dad, you just want to rub your kids on the head. I don't get what that's about, but it's a feeling I never had before, but I have it now. Yeah. So son of Godzilla, that it's like the doctor's spark of movies. All right. We got one last, uh, quick email. That's, uh, no question, but it's interesting. This is from Joe last name with held. How Joe Lansdale who says,

uh, a little bit of extra info on the Meg. After listening to episode last name withheld. Who says? Who says? Oh, holy, lapperinos. Joe here with a little bit of extra info on the Meg. After listening to episode 275, the Meg, I hope they need to share something the movie didn't have time to get to. In short, if it were for Osama bin Laden, the fictional world would never have gotten attacked by the Meg in the first place. Further details. For some reason, I've taken the time to read not only the first attacked by the Meg in the first place. Further details.

For some reason, I've taken the time to read not only the first novel in the Meg series, but I just finished the second book, The Trinch. And who boy shit got weird? While the first book and the first movie are wildly different from each other, the second book goes down and even stranger path. The accident, Jonas Statham was involved in, when he couldn't wait, why? Okay. When he couldn't save the lives of the men at the beginning of the Meg, was part of our

resources raised to find special materials at the bottom of the Mariana Trinch that was funded by a group led by public enemy number one, Osama bin Laden. Okay. It's a major point of book two that goes kind of ignored as they're too busy trying to contain the once captured Meg that is escaped and is now in the loose. I could go on captured. I thought they killed the Meg. I don't. It's a difference in plot of book to movie. Dude. I could go. When does that happen? Never. I could go on, but I will spare you. Oh, and stew. Oh, sorry, I'll

spare you more details until I finish the book the third Meg hell's aquarium Oh, and stew spoiler alert the Meg totally fights a crocusaurus thingy from Jurassic Park World the falling kingdom Mm-hmm, whatever Floppa blah blah blah You're the one reading the letter. Well, I feel like it falls apart at a certain point You know That sounds exciting and I'm glad that I that

Krakisaurus battle makes you think of me. Thank you very much. Joe last name withheld. All right. So those are letters. Those were letters. The next part of this podcast, we recommend a movie other than Castle Freak that you think people would like to watch. This is going to be so hard for your Stewart because Castle Freak is the movie that you recommend. That's true. And now it's off limits to you. You know, I'm going to start this.

Okay. I'm going to, in the idea of recommending a horror movie that deals with tragedy and loss and trauma that also happens to feature Barbara Crampton. I'm going to recommend, wait, wait, 1986's shopping mall. Right. A movie that deals with the loss of freedom

that we'll have when our shopping malls are staffed with robot policemen. This is a great, I don't know, older kind of like a trashy horror movie. It's got a great little performance by Dick Miller from Gremlins who recently passed away. And it has probably my favorite, well, in my top five favorite horror movie, Scores of All Time. It's got a- And one of the most misleading titles. Yeah, yeah, you would expect there to be more.

And there's no chopping, right? No, it's mainly just robot attacks. And the mall has like a greasy spoon diner that has a chef who for some reason is wearing all white clothes, which is perfect to show off all these food stains all over it. Let's just say, you know, it's a great movie about a bunch of horny teenagers who get, uh, who get in a battle with a bunch of robots.

I feel like that chopping mall also represents a real path not taken for director Jim Wynarski, uh, where he swerved off the road of low budget harm science fiction and swerved it to mainly a boobs based filmography. And so I kind of wish he had followed the chopping mall mues a little bit far. I don't know what you're talking about. I do know about a career of one Harold Blueberry, but wait a sec.

That is not the girl. Yeah, that's one of his. I think Jim Wernorski was always boobs based. So you're saying he was denying himself with chopping ball. I mean, chopping ball is pretty boob spaced, to be honest. I mean, I recommend it. So it probably is. I'll recommend a movie that I haven't seen a lot recently,

but I'll recommend a movie that I'm presenting at the Alamo on April the 23rd. That's a little plug. Yeah, sure. Why not? It's a terrorrd. That's a little plug. Yeah, sure, why not? It's a Terror Tuesday. It's a movie called Terror Vision. I won't say too much because I don't want to cannibalize

what I might say later on, but it's about. And so this is less for the audience's benefit more so you don't have to do more work. Yeah, sure. But I get it, Dan, because this will be listened to by thousands of people, whereas the screening will, I guess, what be tens of thousands of people, hundreds of thousands of people. I just assume that anyone who's coming probably in those school, I am from this stupid podcast. So I don't want to repeat myself too much.

It's about a big, I think you misunderstood the point I was making, but you know, I get it. I get the point. I thought about it. But I was making, but you know, I get it. I get the point. I thought about it, but when was this movie from Dan? From the 80s, it's about a big old alien monster who comes down to it because of a cable TV dish and terrorizes folks. It's got a lot of 80s actors like Mary Warnov and John Grease and Diane Franklin.

And someone online described it as, if someone heard of the idea of an 80s horror cult comedy and tried to make that movie, they might make this movie. It's a lot sillier than it is scary, but if you like, I don't know, horror comedies at all, or like goofy horror or big makeup effects, this will be right up your alley. And I mean, like every piece of the 90 minutes.

Those are not your favorite things. No, they are my favorite things in the world. That's why I recommended this to be shown. Uh huh. Have you guys ever done, um, Howling Seven? Howling Seven? Howling Seven? I don't know.

The movie that killed the Howling franchiseling franchise. Is that the one at the freak show or is that a different one? No, this is the one that's filmed in Pioneer Town, California, which is an old B, B, B, B, B, B movie Western town that had been occupied by bikers. And so one, one of those bikers got the rights to the to the HALLING franchise. Sure. And used footage from HALLING 45 and 6 and some community theater actors from Palm Springs. Uh-huh, yeah. And the Country Western bar called Pappy and Harriet's, which is a fixture in Pioneer Town,

California. And it is a werewolf musical with, with, uh, uh, uh, uh, line dancing and, uh, uh, various, uh, country western songs that you probably never want to hear again after you heard them on time. Are they sung with like a werewolf voice? Alternates between werewolf killings at the Pioneer Town Hotel, in which you never see the werewolf, but you after the werewolf is gone, the community theater actors from nearby Palm Springs.

Come on and talk about how horrible it was. And then... So it's like a radio wear wolf ship. Yeah, and it's one of those, it's one of those train wreck, you can't, once you see it, you'll wanna watch it again immediately because it's just a train wreck. And you're using all the local alcoholics from the various bars in Pioneer Town. And new line was so embarrassed when they first, they didn't really release it in theaters and they

barely released it on video. And then it instantly developed such a bad reputation that they changed the title to the Howling New Moon Rising so that no one would know it was the Howling Seven. I would recommend, if you guys haven't seen it, it would make an excellent episode. I think that maybe we need to put this on the docket for maybe small timber or something because it doesn't seem big enough for a Wow a whopping 1.8 star rating on IMDB out of 10. I wonder how easy it is to get the rights to a film franchise because that and like a while back we did this sequel to easy writer that someone did because they got the rights somehow to the easy writer franchise like it makes me wonder Rider that someone did, because they got the rights somehow to the Easy Rider franchise. It makes me wonder if I should be trying harder

to get the rights to film franchise. It doesn't seem that hard. I think the Howling people who I think were in Australia, I mean, something I sort of remember that. I think the Howling people just had a rate card. Yeah, just, if you want it, take it, you know. Let's get the Munchies franchise, take it, you know. Let's get the munchies franchise, guys. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, sure. But, okay, we got to get munchies, critters, goolies. Finally have them all in the same movie. It'll be the Avengers of little things. The puppet master will show it. Yeah, and Dolman goes after him. Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, they have to stop Dolman from destroying the universe.

Yeah, Dolman's the bad guy in this. So Jim, do you want that to be your recommendation? Or do you have a salad or a regular? Howling seven, howling seven. You can't go wrong with howling seven. All is. Sim, similarly, I'll recommend a movie that I watched recently after having seen it as a baby.

Wow. Not having seen it as an adult. This was, my parents would tell me this was the first movie that they took me to in the theaters when I was a baby. I finally got to see it. And similarly, it's a movie about the scariest thing of all, aging beyond your time and having nothing but your memories. That's right, it's Atlantic City, directed by Louis Moll, who's in the Bert Lane Caster in Susan Sarandon.

And it's... It's a... It's a... It's Susan Sarandon, is in the chilling tale of a woman training to be a blackjack dealer in Atlantic City, whereas Bert Lane Caster is an aging former, very low-level mobster, and the two of them find each other in each other's lives and basically

get involved in a low level crime and there's consequences to pay for it. And it doesn't work out exactly the way that I expected and in a way that I really liked it a lot. It's written by the playwright John Guere who most people know from six degrees of separation. I know from a speech he gave to my class at NYU that I found he had very bad advice in it, a little insulting, but I really liked it a lot. Atlantic City. Cool, right.

Four solid recommendations, all terrifying. Or terrifying tales of the macabre, and also legalized gambling. All right, so that's great. I feel like we've kept our special guests longer than we anticipated. Way longer. So apologies to him, but thanks very much for being here. We enjoyed it so much.

Do you have any final words? I would just say in reference to Atlantic City, I just came back from Atlantic City. And you didn't know that that movie, which was made in 1978, was the ghetto Atlantic City. They launched where everything had fallen into disrepair. Oh, okay. It was back when it was like, I should do the remake right now. Where it is. What's it like?

I haven't been there in a few years but it's oh they're half the casinos of clothes you know I went to a horror con that was in the old showboat casino because there's nothing in the old showboat you know it was it was it's no bird landcasters he has a great line in the movie where he says something like he's looking at the Atlantic Ocean and he says Yeah, the Atlantic oh yeah, it used to be great in the old days the Atlantic Ocean I watch it and so much the movie is them being like ah you should have been here for the old Atlantic City Used to be better and then I saw there's an Anthony Bourdain episode

where he's an Atlantic city shot, you know, 30 some odd years after this movie. And they're all saying the same thing. They're like, ah, you should have been here for the old Atlantic city. Like, nobody, Atlantic city, it's hard for me to believe there ever was a time it was not rundown. That anyone ever looked at Atlantic city and said,

I should base a board game on this. It seems crazy to me. It's funny. Guys, it's funny. Guys, it's been really fun. Before we go, we should say, as we always do, check out MaximumFund.org, our network, our podcasting network, Matt ours, but the one we're part of, for other great shows,

tweet about us, write reviews on iTunes, preferably good ones. If you have bad things to say, why not just not take the effort? Yeah. Check out the last drive in on Shutter on Friday nights. Yeah. Yeah. As a card carrying shutter, we'll have our marathons up that we did last summer.

Oh, that's awesome. Thanks, giving and Christmas. Right. Yeah. That's of the many streaming services I have. That's probably my favorite. And also the one my wife uses the least Yeah, it's been a real pleasure. So we should sign off. I Have been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kaelin glad to have finally lived one of my dreams of

Talking about a dumb movie with job outbreaks. Very excited. Thanks guys. All right, get back everyone. Bye. ["Fighting the Love of the World"]

["Fighting the World"] I think my favorite was when a Stuart Realize that Nicholas Cage who is also a running reference in the show was the original Castle Freak and that he is a freak for buying castles. That was me. Stop. Stop.

Give it away, my best of the year. I mean, I didn't say it, but when Dan said it, and then I realized it when his words hit my ears, that's what you mean, right, L.A. Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant. That's what I meant. All right, let's start. Dan, I'm sorry.

I guess I was just got, because of all the jokes you do on Twitter, I didn't think you were capable of writing. It's just like that. Ha-ha-ha-ha.