The Flop House - Ep. #283 - The Mummy LIVE

Episode Date: April 27, 2019

It’s been so long, we can't even REMEMBER when we recorded this show on Tom Cruise's The Mummy. But it's from Seattle and it's on tape, so here it is! Wikipedia synopsis for The Mummy LIVE SHOW DATES 2019! June 8 – PORTLAND – Revolution Hall July 13 – MINNEAPOLIS – Parkway September 28 – BOSTON – WBUR CitySpace (TWO shows in one night) October 12 – LOS ANGELES – The Regent Theater

On this episode of the podcast we discuss the mummy live in Seattle America Stirr can you just forget what state we're in? No, it's a Washington there you go. Nice work. Nice work. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin. Wow, come on a down note there. Yeah, what was that all about? You know guys, maybe it's this Seattle Gray that's gotten me down.

Sure. You know, I heard the blues were calling. You're... Toss salad and scrambled eggs. I already did these Frazier jokes before the show started. I don't know. For the people at home, the phrasier jokes are new. Yeah, but you're killing our vibe here in the room.

You're right, I'm sorry. We're in Seattle, a home of mummies. Ha ha ha. There is a legend that there shall come a day when three morons will appear in the city of the needle of space and their waste time speaking of a curse of a mummy and that story is called three men and a mummy okay sorry Steve Gutenberg and Ted Danson and Tom Selik. And who plays the mummy? Uh, the mummy from Monster Squad.

Hold on a second. Do you think they dug up a real mummy for that dance? Do you say the mummy as himself in this? That's right. That's right. Uh, so this is a podcast. Yeah. Where we talk about bad movies.

Uh-huh. Okay, follow. And what's making eye contact with me right now? It's weird All right, I didn't realize that was in your fucking writer that I couldn't make eye contact with you Changes when right on the road. Yes, Stewart believes that if you make eye contact with an outside of Brooklyn, New York that you can absorb his soul Yeah, and he does not want anyone knowing what he's been doing with that soul. I'm like cowardly and superstitious person. That's why Batman was able to defeat you so easily. Yeah.

What was your Batman villain name, beer man? Beer man? Committed beer themed crimes. Like what, stealing beer? I don't... I think that's the only one. Yeah. I mean, you have like beer the only one yeah, I mean

Beer guns that you spray beer and people's eyes I just make some wrong to the influence of beer. I think that is a crime. Just band-man do a lot of like traffic stops You've been drinking I'm gonna need you to get out of the car sir and I trust you I'm gonna need you to get out of the car, sir. And I trust you No, we didn't watch any Batman movies. We watched the mummy Brennerly Brendan Frazier's the mummy. No, I have tonight. Boris carlofts the mummy We watch Tom Cruise's the dark world's is dark universes is the mummy You sure wasn't Martin Lawrence's big mummy's house?

Which I guess would just be a tomb or a pyramid? Yeah Was it that one? No, it was not we again. I said it's Tom Cruise is the mummy Was it Christine Appalied and don't tell mummy the babysitters also dead like the mummy is God dammit Elliot I told you that we waste so much time was it Was it Danny DeVito's throw mummy from the train? Don't do that. It's a priceless antiquity Yeah, Indiana Jones comes out. It's like that mummy belongs in a museum. Dated DeVito's like well, I'm throwing it off this train I would be I would love to see Danny DeVito in the other Jones film. I mean, he kind of is.

I guess he is in the romance in the stone. Well, all my dreams have been answered. Yeah. Bye, guys. So normally we watch a movie and we talk about it, and we're going to do that right now. And this night is no different. Hey, guys, why is this night different from all other nights?

It's not. All right. That's pulling from my people other nights? It's not. All right. That's pulling from my people, who the mummy is oppressed for thousands of years. I watch this movie. Every time that mummy got hurt, I was like, yeah, fuck it, Egypt. Take that, Pharaoh.

Won't let my people go. What I guess I'm saying is, guys, this time, it's personal. So let's talk about what happens in the mummy. So the most exciting thing about this movie to me is we start with the Universal logo, and then it spins around, and we see the Dark Universal logo. Now, I'll answer the question for future generations listening this, what is the Dark Universe?

Because we've never heard of it before. Well, the Dark Universe is Universal's attempt to rebrand its universal monster classic characters as a superhero-style shared universe. Well, there'll be a team of them, I guess, fighting crime and eating lime, as they say. OK. Because they all go to the beach to hang out.

I have tequila shots after this. Because if I can take you guys on a flashback which this movie does a lot of some universal monsters were the original shared cinematic universe and they all it was very organic in that the head of universal said these monsters aren't making that much money individually let's throw a bunch of them into a movie together and we'll stick avid and custello in there too eventually yeah yeah and then when he wasn't working out anymore they said forget it. And then a movie called Monster Squad came along and changed nothing. It's flopped pretty badly. Monster Squad a universal movie. I don't think that it wasn't because they couldn't use the universal design.

That's why they all look slightly different than their classic. And they could say creature from the black lagoon. they just say like fish man or something. Gill man, yeah. Which is just a dentist. Mm-hmm. Just Dr. Gill man. Yeah, I had Gill man. Red Gill man. Oh, I saw dripping all this briny water in my mouth. Well, he's cleaning me out.

Anyway, so you have the dark universe logo because the universe has big plans for these characters. They are all going to come together. And this is the introduction of those movies. If you don't count Dracula untold, which universal has decided to not count anymore. Yeah, kind of like Marvel did with the Ed Norton Incredible Hulk. They're like, it's kind of part of our universe. You can kind of forget about it. Well, it's an apocryphal film found in a cavern near the Dead Sea. Some moviegoers believe in it, but it's not

official canon. Anyway, we go from that dark universe logo, which is not that exciting. It's just the universe logo, but it's dark. And we see the text on screen of an Egyptian resurrection prayer. Cut to where else after you see an Egyptian resurrection prayer, you know, we'll be called the mummy. Cut to England 1127 AD.

Where a bunch of crusader nights, without dialogue, bury a dead man crusader nights without dialogue, Barry a dead man with a magic gemstone. Immediately cut to present day, that tomb is discovered by guys digging new London tube tunnels under the city of London. And then we cut two bunch of talking heads on news talking about this new transit project for London.

And for a minute, I was like, guys, I might be pretty excited if this movie is about transit. Like if Mommy stood for like, you municipal underground, metropolitan, moving, yabos, surround. Yeah, like municipal underground, moving men, municipal underground moving men yelling subterranean. Okay. You need the streets. You need the streets, yeah. So I was like, but alas, an archaeologist on TV goes,

hey, these crusaders went to Egypt, apropos of nothing. Then we cut, it's time for the movie to start, right? Wrong. Russell Crowe and his men take possession of the burial site. And in voiceover, Russell Crowe tells us the story of the ancient princess Aminette who was the ruthless hearest to the pharaoh but then the pharaoh had a son oh boys before oh man yeah that he's describing how she's he first describes her is beautiful

like chill out dude whoa no but I mean, that's the first thing he brings up. Oh, no, that's the thing. Talk about her merits. Yeah. He says they're trying to... They're trying to be people objectifying mommy's, as I was saying. Exactly. He describes her as ruthless.

I think the only one who's ever objectified a mommy was John Aston's character in the frighteninger, who is a ghost who has sex with a mommy at once in one part. That's right. Yeah. Then anyway, continue. And he describes her as ruthless or merciless in a scene where she actively doesn't hit a guy with a stick. Like it's just, you know, it causes a disconnect for me as a viewer. Well, you see, Russell Crowe is really putting like a very patriarchal spin on this story.

He's saying the princess shouldn't be made barrow. That would be crazy because she's all evil and stuff. And she plays into that stereotype by when the Sun is born and takes over her Inherited into the throne. She sells her soul to set the God of death because I want there's a lot of different faces all these different gods, but this one sets just an evil mother fucker Like he just hate he's just evil. Is he a snakehead or a dog? What's gonna happen? He is a serpent god the dog you're thinking of probably a newbist the jackal headed god who is also a god of death and let's not forget Osiris who's also pretty much a god of death all the Egyptian gods except for Horus slash raw are pretty much gods of death I

guess to say the Egyptian god of death much death and you know Egypt there was a lot of death going on yeah all constantly it's a little bit like saying some god was the Greek god of being kind of a jerk to everybody. That's what they did. So she sells her soul set and she's reborn covered with tattoos like that one monk in Kwydon. And they tattooed hard glibits on her and suddenly she has double pupils

which should make it much harder to see. And throughout the movie I was waiting for the moment where that gave her an advantage like she could see better, but it's just cosmetic. I guess. Yeah, like a guy runs up on her side and the other people catches him. Yeah, exactly. I would love to see her. Or she drives a car with that having to turn her head to check her blinds. There was that one scene, there's that one scene where she goes to Warby Parker and she's like, get me the glasses with four lenses. They went, what will what? I'm gonna need to get my manager.

I'm gonna need to get my manager. And she kills her brother, kills her father, and then vows to give set a mortal man's body to be reborn in. But while she's having some kind of like crazy, sexy cool blood sugar sex magic moment, where she's about to stab him with a magic dagger, he gets shot by a bunch of trinked darts. Because apparently the ancient Egyptians knew the power of tranquilizers in darts. And she's buried as a mummy, far from Egypt,

in a special mystic tomb that keeps her safe. Anyway, so Russell Crowe just tells us all this in voiceover. And you're like, all right. How do you know this? How do you know this, Russ? How do you know this big Russ? It's probably going to matter later, right? Cut, too. It's not completely matter later, right? Cut two.

It's not completely unrelated, but we... No, this is a serious man where there's just a different story before the rest of it that's just thematically linked. Cut two, Iraq. Tom Cruise is our hero, Nick, and his sidekick, Vale, played by who wasn't? Jake Johnson. Who's he from?

He's from New Girl. Which was one of she? I mean, there's so many New Girls every day. When the New Girl is so additional. I mean, she's in around for a while. All right. Like, a New Girl would be like a baby. This is a rich vein of comedy.

And I've tapped it out. So his sidekick, Veil, I guess, to be in symbolism of the veil of tears or beyond the veil or whatever. It's not likely if they're soldiers or mercenaries. They kind of are both. They work for the army, but they're their own bosses. And they are supposed to be advanced scouts for the military, but they also loot antiquities for money. And they have kind of, Tom Cruise runs them into a groupie kind of one of those comedy action sequences where they're getting shot at but they're like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I told you never to do this against a village full of insurgents who are presented as literally

faceless horde. I think we only see them from the back of their heads. Yeah, I mean, we see like the bullet hits more than them. I mean, yeah, you said that this is like a very good cheap way of doing a gunfight where all you see is squibs. You don't actually have to see the bad guys. Just get some squibs. They're running through a narrow hallway

and there's just gunshot squibs going off everywhere. And I'm like, look, they saved a lot of money doing the battles, right? They use that money to then call in an air strike, which opens up a crater, a nerthing ominets tomb. Uh-oh. Turns out Nick Cruz has been trying to find some antiquities based on a map he stole from a lady archaeologist named Jenny who he slept with. He's kind of a silver-tung devil. He's always

talking his way out of trouble and then walking the way into trouble. Yeah, and he got her number from a bathroom stall. It was 8, 6, 7, 5, 3, 1, 9. I believe you. There's a deleted scene where he goes, I got it. I got got it. Yeah. So Nick, Veil and Jenny, they go explore the tomb and they find a pit of mercury and there's all these ritual warning. It's like something very powerful is buried down here. This is meant as a warning to keep this thing guarded in another wall out. And this would be very ominous if Russell Crowe hadn't already told us everything that's in the hole. So it's like, yeah, dude, just get with the mummy. You already told us about this. That's not familiar with this hole.

It's like, but I was thinking it's like if you've poured by this hole already. We've seen the hole. It's like if Alien was the exact same brilliant movie it is. But beforehand, there was a scene where the robot ash is being briefed about the xenomorph. And they're like, look, there's this crazy alien. He tripped, but he busts out of chest,

and he spits acid blood. He's got another little tiny mouth inside his big mouth. Don't put your face near one of its eggs. Yeah, they were a bunch of space jockeys, and it burst out of them on this planet, go find them. And then when John hurt his exploring, you'd be like, speed it up, John. We know what's going to happen.

So the mummy has already undermined itself. So Nick through his own dumb actions he ends up raising the sarcophagus out of the mercury. A bunch of CGI bugs come out everywhere and they bite Veil and Nick hallucinates Omnit in the desert. She tells him that he's set her free and he's her chosen. Again, we know what this means already because the movie told us, but all the characters are way behind us. So we're like speed it up guys. They airlift out the sarcophagus. Ravens everywhere sandstorm comes in this mommy is bad news right off the bat But Jenny's real excited. She's like an Egyptian sarcophagus in Mesopotamia and remind me so much of the Monty Python the meeting of life seen with her like a tiger in Africa

But Jenny takes a moment to be like Nick you only care about yourself. That's your problem, which is a weird thing to say to someone you assume you will never see again. Vail gets possessed by Omnit and he just starts stabbing away. Sorry, Courtney Bevance, who we didn't mention is in the movie. You get stabbed. Vail's totally zombified and Nick has to shoot him a couple times. Cloud Arraven smashes into the game. Yeah, the pilot's like, that's so raven, and the other copai laughs at it for half a second before they die. Before the Ravens beaks puncture his face. And he's like, if I gotta go, I gotta go laugh.

Well, you know, I'd rather omit it, take me with a smile on the face. Yeah. Now, I think this was the first scene where they really tried to be scary, was it successful for you, seeing Courtney Beavance stab like that? He's a great actor and I didn't want to see him go. He was my favorite person in the game.

So you were scared by the idea of Courtney Beavance as an actor, like just not making movies again. We're not even just... Or being in the rest of the game. I didn't think they really stabbed him for real, Dad. Okay. He's a good actor. He was acting that he was stabbed.

Oh, okay. I didn't like that being teased with, hey, Courtney B. Vance is gonna be in this movie and then they remove him. Yeah, I mean, you're scared by the loss of entertainment is what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. And I made me wish that he was the hero of the movie.

But, so were you guys scared at this point? I mean, it was kind of weird to how Jake Johnson, Jake Johnson, what's weird to how Jake Johnson, Jake Johnson, with the name Jake John. The decision to have him have like one weird milky eye the whole time. Mm-hmm. Like cable? Yeah, it was strange.

So that played it. I found it off the plate. That played into your fear of getting cataracts. Yes, it did. Each time the mummy takes over somebody, their eyeballs, their pupils roll back into their heads and it looks hilarious. It's like she played a slot machine. Yeah, like the mummy is making this person very much over it.

If someone doesn't use a gift of the later on when the computer worker, his eyes roll back as a way to express, I'm done with you over Twitter, Twitter why they even make this mommy movie the plane crashes we get some zero g action as the plane is in a free fall they went up in a vomit comment to shoot it's everybody it's not a bad scene it's very it very much feels like the mo like a scene they added in when tom cruise got attached to the project yeah tom cruise we want to play this movie wrong to fall at some point right like i going to fall from a great height and be like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Whenever Tom Cruise does a stunt, he tugs at his collar. I wonder if he's one of those guys that the only way he feels alive anymore. He needs that rush.

I mean, I have to assume so. He's a strange man. Do you think his stunt team is like, shit, we're making another movie? Have I done a home movie where I'm on fire yet? No Tom, you haven't. Have I done a home movie where? I'm just sure if it's because they're flying to England. It's an American military flight. Maybe it's a base in England. Where if they took the plane to England? I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England.

It's an American military flight. Maybe it's a base in England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England.

I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England. I'm not sure if it's because they're flying to England, it's an American military flight, maybe it's a base in England, where if they took the Iraq to New York route that goes through the UK, I don't know.

So you think they'd be going to like long stool or like military hospital in Europe? I'm the engineer of the flight plans for this movie. I mean, I think it was, maybe it was the scenic route. They wanted to see all those castles. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah. Yeah, that's the plane usually does that.

Yeah, ask him nice. Yeah, swing by and take a look at some glasses. Well, I had seven hours to the flight, but sure, what are you, we're in a 10 can in the air, why not? So Nick crashes, but then he wakes up in a body bag in a morgue untouched. And it's a chance for Tom Cruise to walk around the No clothes on it. Show us how built he is at 54 years old. He's jacked. He is super jacked. He's Jack Richard. He is totally Jack Richard.

Richard, feature Jack Richard. Yeah, sure. And Vail starts talking to him. That's right, guys. They are American, where Wolfen Londoning veil. He's now a ghost that talks to Nick. Meanwhile, police were investigating the plane crash. I thought it was weird because they already investigated the plane crash, right? Because they pulled Tom Cruise's body out of it and put it in a body bag.

So these guys are investigating it like they didn't know a plane crash. Yeah, like they're the security guards and they're like, I heard a sound. I guess I'll wait a minute. This plane shouldn't be here. It should be in the sky. What's this plane doing in MiBog? I want a bathtub of work for that excess. You promise no accent work today. I never promise that. Anyway, they're the guys who are in every monster movie where it's their job to just wander into the monster, kill them, and show you what their powers are.

The mummy, who is now a spindly, quickly crackly, twitchy, crawly, kind of wringoo type of thing, kills them with death kisses, and absorbs their life essence and starts reforming its body and the cops become zombies who screech like raptors which was kind of silly. And it's zombies walk around and they're like ah! And for the most part all these scenes that have a lot of special effects are done as dark and muddy as possible. It is the dark ignorance. What? And it is also a way to cheap out on special effects. Jenny, she starts telling Nick, they go to a bar.

She's like, it's weird that you survive that crash without a scratch. Anyway, I've been looking for this magic dagger and this magic jewel that you can perform. You can use to perform a ritual that brings the body, that brings the god set into a man's body. Some crusaders took the jewel and then she tells us more about the princess and it's like, I know, we saw the beginning of the movie.

Yeah, she should have just played the mummy's drawing time through, four time crews at that point. Yeah, it was like this. Just like in Space Balls. Yeah, yeah. Space, first, first Space Balls reference to the night guys buckle up. It's going to be a space ballie night. I feel like we mentioned monster squad and space balls.

It's like, are we going to mention every movie that Ellie thought was awesome when he was 12? Meanwhile, Vales Ghost is like Nick made me in the bathroom and he goes, Nick were cursed and Nick starts hallucinating that he's in an alleyway and the mummy attacks him with a horde of rats. And he's like, ah, ah, he comes to and he's with Jenny. And he's like, I saw a mummy and she goes, eh, you just hit your head, you're crazy. And it's like, we're a scene ago, you were telling him about a magic dagger. Yeah, she'd like, she'd mentioned that she thought they'd angered the gods at this point.

Yeah, she says, Nick, I think you, I think we may have angered the gods. One scene later, she's like, okay, enough with the crazy dog, crazy dog. I don't know, I don't just believe in gods, I believe, God, I believe in the gods. So. It's a weird, it's one of these weird moments from like, this is a sequel to multiplicity and I didn't realize it.

And the first Jenny went home and another Jenny showed up. No. But anyway, the mummy's just wandering around, given more guys zombifying kisses to steal their life energy or something. And it was around this time that I realized, I'm Cruz as a man in his mid-50, very well preserved. And in his movies, he's always matched up with a younger woman and kind of feeds off their younger energy.

Guys. Yeah, what are you suggesting, Ellen? I think I'm Cruz. What? Is a mummy. Oh, man. Elliot, are you skipping to the end of the movie? Only thematically. I mean, in real life. Anyway, for the purposes of my career, I did not call Tom Cruise a mummy. Anyway, Nick and Jenny are like, hey, let's go over to this old crappy church near the crash site. They're not crappy. This little creepy church. It's a beautiful church. Anyway, I'm sure it's a landmark historic site. It's so sad that there's so much zombie damage takes place.

They go to this castle church where the mummy shows up and there's a zombie fight. She captures Nick and she's about to stab him when she sees the jewel is not in the danger. Oh boy, she forgot the jewel is not in the dagger. Oh boy, she forgot the jewel. She's gonna have to go back home, get it, put it in the dagger, come back to Tom Cruise. And it's like with a lift driver, you have to pay him both ways, right? You have to, I guess you tip both ways too.

Of course you tip both ways, it's probably separate drivers. He's not gonna wait for you outside, he's not making a living way. She's gotta keep hustling. Come on I apologize All I saw is this very upset about that. I didn't realize that this is the national convention of diluted live drivers I apologize I didn't realize this did your hot button issue out here

But I don't really think of Seattle as like a place with a lot of like tech app type stuff. Now. It's like, what do I think of when I think of Seattle? No coffee, no tech app stuff, no seahawks. Sunny. Very sunny. Anyway, so she's like, oh, Majem, I need it.

There's a big zombie mummy fight. Cruise, at this point, I've cruised it's just kicking mummies apart and smashing with his hands. And there's some kind of funny gags in it, but it's so dark, it's hard to really make out what's going on. They get away in an ambulance, which was there. I guess that's the ambulance that the people who came to examine the crash site were in. I know. Unless like relic churches are also ambulance parking lots, England. I don't know. Yeah They attack zombies are getting the wrong all over the car Well, there's a moment where so Tom Cruise is the one who brought them back here

And he's also the one who's driving the car and they're like talking and he's driving all of a sudden He realized he just drove back like he can't get away from that money Yeah, he can't get away from that money. Yeah, he can't go, well she says. He is committed to this dark universe. He goes, Jenny goes, she's in your head and he should have gone, Zah-hombe, Zah-hombe, but he doesn't.

I mean, he doesn't. For a while when we're watching this. I was supposed to believe Tom Cruise is not familiar with the work of the cranberries. Because, correct me if I'm wrong, did he start in far end away? A movie about an Irishman? I guess I can't argue with that, Matt.

I guess you're right, Elliot. Well, I mean, it felt kind of like they were playing that song in the movie because you kept singing it over and over. It's a solid song. It's a solid horror song. It's off-putting. Anyway, they crashed the car. They drive back to where the mummy is.

They crashed the car. And the mummy's about to kill Jenny when, Frank Darts, not this again, some Commando, Black Ops, Wetworks, Infiltrate, Exful Trade types come in. And there's like several dozen of them. And they kidnapped the mummy and they drank up Tom Cruise, which seems unnecessary at that point. Anyway, this is where the dark universe really gets university because they get taken to

the headquarters of Pradygium which is the British government. They don't really explain what it is kind of secret, evil hunting force and it's led by Russell Crowe as you guessed it. Dr. Henry Jekyll. Uh-oh of Hecklen Jekyll, the cartoon crows. These are the ones who sounds like Jimmy Duranty, I think. Uh, yeah, I'm not a big Hecklen head, so I don't know. You're more of a Jekyll head.

You're more of a Jekyll head? Yeah. You love Jekyll off to the Jekyll part of the cartoon? Yeah, that's right. Anyway, Henry Jekyll in the part of the cartoon. That's right. Anyway, Henry Jackal in the part in the Russell Crowe, he gives a bunch of long speeches about the shape of evil. We're always looking for evil. He is so avoiding saying the word monster.

It is crazy that tap dancing he has to do linguistically to get around saying monster. You see, there's a Gilman hand in a jar and there's a a Dracula skull in a jar It's all there's all sorts of great stuff and Henry Jekyll he's got to inject himself with his anti-hide medicine For else Edward comes out and no not Eddie the dog from Frazier You're talking Eddie Deezin your favorite after my favorite actor of all time Eddie Deezin from war games I want to hold your hand all sorts of rain 1941 1941. 1941. Yeah sure. Nerd type movie. All sorts of them. Except for Ventular nerds. He's not in that. I feel like I'm stuck. Like an oversight. Yeah.

The bed of Deezin was on the phone to his agent. I was like, why not? I gave you one job. Get me the nerd roles. But apparently, as listening to your apparently people come up to him all the time and tell them how much they like to be in the nerds You're welcome. Thanks. I guess anyway Jenny also works for Pradigium. Uh-oh What does that mean? Not much really. It means that it's even more baffling that she did not believe that a mummy was after Tom Cruise That is a good point. Was she just like playing a game with his heart? That is a good point. Was she just like playing a game with his heart?

Like, I don't understand. They've chained up Aminette in a room, and they're just pumping Mercury into her body in the hopes that eventually she will settle down enough that they can dissect her. And Aminette... Has anyone would do if you pumped Mercury into their body? Well, they've explained earlier that Mercury is like Egyptian anti-magic, but no bad stuff, magic stuff, you know. Okay.

So if you're ever attacked by an Egyptian mummy, crack, I don't open a thermometer and just shove it in her face. Come on. That's the way to do it. Get an old Victorian hat and just kind of wring all the mercury out of the felt. Wear gloves. It will drive you crazy. You probably work for a normal human too to shove a mercury thermometer in their face.

So all bases are covered. Yeah. And Omnette is like, because she's awake and just talking to them, hey, Nick, you're going to take my lover's place in the set ritual. And they tell the story again of when she killed her family. And she literally says, they were different times. And it's like, oh, so you had like, people didn't know it was wrong back then.

Like, it was OK to do those things. Like, look, we're more enlightened now. People know it's not okay to kill your baby brother and slit your dead's throat while he's sleeping. Like, back then, we didn't know those things were okay. We're not okay. It was in a more innocent time. Yeah, it was a different time.

Ghosts give blow jobs. Who knows? And she starts tempting him with a vision in his head. Meanwhile, the workers at that crusader tomb, remember that they find the gemstone that belongs in the dagger. And Omnett has some kind of psychic premonition that she's done it. And she's like, time to go to end phase.

And meanwhile, Jack was like, So wait, is this a, she intended to get captured situation? I don't think so. That's your favorite thing about that guy. I love it. I love it when a bad guy intends to get captured and then does something that he could have done much more easily outside of a jail. I don't understand why it's like every now and then. I don't know if this happens in DC Comics, but I don't read that. But every now and then in Marvel Comics, the same villain will show up in five books in one month.

Like suddenly five guys were all like, hey, you know who you haven't seen in a while. He didn't fang phone. Let me put him in my book and I'll just pretend he's never, he hasn't been seen in a while. So you're. Which is a, by the way, for people who don't know, a giant dragon, the man. He's a giant alien who looks like a dragon.

And he wears little purple shorts. And you can put him to sleep with like a magic onion if you make him smell it. I don't know if that's still part of canon, but in the original story, that's what they do. Suddenly, you're reading five books that Finn Fang Fum shows up in and you're like, this is a lot of Finn Fang Fum, there's a lot of Finn Fang Fum all of a sudden. This movie is not, so I'm trying to remember how I got onto that. So there was that period where some-

Love and thankful. I mean, I do love fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan-fan Let's sit down for a minute. Now, let's set us, let's table that issue about all the reboots, because I tried to explain to you guys that when Khan showed up in Star Trek the first time, it was just an idea somebody had, and it wasn't like a thing they were referencing. You don't have to do, you can make a new thing. You don't have to do Khan again. So let's forget that. But guys, you think it would be cool if the villain got captured

on purpose as part of his plan, and five screenwriters all go, hey, I was going to do that and then they look at each other and go, uh-oh. I wish I could do that, but it's too late now. It's too late, yeah. So anyway, I don't, but no, I don't think this is one of those cases. I think she didn't want to get captured, but they are so bad at capturing monsters. Yeah. It just didn't hurt her at all anyway. And because she uses a... So anyway, Dr. Jackl is like, so we're going to end the curse, we're going to do the ritual. And then when set is in your body, I'm going to kill you.

And that way we'll kill Seth. Tom Cruise for some reason doesn't like this idea. Yeah. And he's like, he's like, what? He's like, I'm going to kill Seth. I'm going to kill Seth. I'm going to kill Seth. Yeah.

And you're going to kill me, Tom Cruise. And I'm never going to die. I'm going to sin with I'm gonna sin with you. He's like, mate, mate. Let's, Russell goes like, mate, let's shut off the cameras. Again, we're not really killing you with the character. You're in a movie. And he's like, right, right, right, I forgot, I forgot.

I don't remember when I'm not in a movie and when I'm in a movie or not. Okay. And so, but it's one of those things which is like, this is a weird idea like, okay, they're going to be giving this god a mortal form and then murder it. It made me wonder, why does set one a mortal form so badly? How does that help him in any way?

How like has being an immortal body let you feel the pleasures of the flesh? So you're saying, say. You can eat all the ice cream in the world. You can cover your body in all the ice cream you can buy. Wait are those the pleasures of the flesh? They're two of them. You can make ice cream with your family. So you're saying set is sitting on a throne in the Egyptian underworld and he's just kind of like weighing and he's just kind of weighing the hearts of dead souls against a feather to see if they belong in the eternal

rest or eternal fire. And he's like, oh, this power means nothing because I'll never know what Stephen Colbert's Yeah, that's exactly what I said. Ah, what worth all these souls if chunky monkey has denied me. Anyway, so Nick's like, I don't like that. And he says, I know, I said, Jackal, I'm not going to give you your meds. I'm going to take them from you until you don't kill me. And he's like, well, now I'm going to turn into Mr. Hyde. And we're going to fight a little bit.

And Mr. Hyde is like a Dr. Jack was very refined of course Mr. Hyde is a Cockney Bruiser. Yeah there's a weird class system thing going on there like as soon as he turns evenly he just like he's a lower class uh I would say that Russell Crowe is much more adept at playing the Bruiser than he refined to Guy. When he comes walking out with a book, I'm like, that book is empty. Or at first. It's like, there's a flat in there.

It's like the moment in any porn movie where a guy's supposed to be working in an office and he's this Jacked X-Con wearing a very ill-fitting suit and tie. Yeah, he's got like a neck tattoo. You're not accountant. But we're also growing a book. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's more likely to be like an Nintendo power, like country music guitar tabletters. Anyway. Sure, I mean, he's got a band. Yeah, 30 odd foot of grudge, sure. Not good for called 30 odd foot of reasonable discussion. So the mummy uses a spider to crawl into a lab worker's ear. It takes forever for this lab worker to realize a spider is crawling on his face.

And it crawls into his ear and he's like, huh, weird feeling in my ear. There's a thing, like, I slap my face thinking there's a bug on it way more often than there's ever a bug on it. I like to think there's an actual evil magic bug on my face. I would know it. I wish there was a little scene that showed him getting their late to work and he's like, ah, a denture supplement, ah, well, no, McCain. God, slap me in the face. Can't feel it. No, all right, maybe it just don't wait till it wears off.

I love that. I love that, that was literally true. And the director was like talking to the screenwriter, like, I know what you're getting at, but I don't think we need to see any. Yeah. The screenwriter's like, how else does he not feel the spider on his face?

And the director is like, that's really what you're wondering about right now. So the mummy controls that guy, and he frees her by just like smashing up all the machinery. And she calls up a wind and sandstorm. And Nidia. She does a little bit of Circus L.A. stuff, too. Yeah, she's swinging around on chains.

It's all very, what's a Circus L.A. show? It's a little bit of a show. I don't know, love. Maybe that love shows. Yeah, that one one more called like Jim Nesta Mentos. Zoom Manity? Zoom Manity, yeah, that's right. Yeah, was that the original title of Zootopia?

That was the original title of the Zootboly Zoo. I don't know. For Magic and Wonder, I'm waiting for you. Dan, you picked, I think the one children's theme song where I'm like, I'll take your word for it. I don't know the words that one. Ask me the one children's theme song where I'm like, I'll take your word for it. I don't know the words that one. Ask me the Denver Las Dinosaurs song.

I'll tell you all about that. Tell me about, I'll tell you about Juja, but I don't know Zuvaly Zile. I only know the theme song because I was like, it would come on and be like, well, time to turn the television off. So that it was like, when I used to record the office on NBC on my DVR, and it'd always be that one minute of outsourced at the end and I'd be like, delete. Don't want to watch this. Anyway, I want to make our, the kind of thing that I'm going to make a lot this warning.

Now that I live in LA, a lot of great people worked on this movie, a lot of great people worked on outsourced. I am in no way saying that people who worked on it are bad, sometimes good people work on bad things. Anyway, so, she calls up a wind and sandstorm. Nick and Jenny just outrun it like crazy, and they're just running past civilians. They are not trying to help anybody. And it gets so big all the windows in London are shattering.

A huge sand cloud with the mummies face on it engulfs the parliament building. And this is, we never see how this affects London. Like it just kind of happens and it's like all right I guess London just dealt with that like all the glazed years in London were rubbing their hands together with Glee. Boys put down those bankruptcy papers and I'm back in business. I'm sure it chased the transit news off of the news that night. There's a bigger story than the Transit hold on we don't know if all the windows are broken all this sand around

I don't know where you're looking at me as if I know where you're going with this you can make glass out of sand Okay, yeah, but it's not like you can just do that at home It's a light back. Yeah, it's a like you can just do that at home. Thanks. It's still got to pay a guy to do the job. It's a light back. Yeah. It's a light back for all the lovers. Yeah, it's a light back. If something ever happens to your window, just get a tough full of hands

and then do something to it. And then become a glacier. Yeah. Fucking Superman or something, show over in the laser beam. I do wish there'd been a scene where the queen is being introduced to a duke somewhere in his monocles smash. And she goes, I never.

Anyway, they're all running around. Nick jumps through a bus, which is kind of a cool stunt. Like a bus is sliding towards them and he jumps through the windshield and rolls around the seats for a while. Veils goes, shows up and is like, Nick, follow me and take some to a train tunnel where they are attacked by zombies. I don't know why Veils took them there. I don't know.

I don't know what that was supposed to accomplish. The mummy's. I think he has to like complete his like, livery of him to the mummy, maybe. So he can rest in peace. He's got to get a signature from the mummy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like a process server for the mummy. What if they showed up in the mummy's tomb and the mummy's not in, it's like, sorry, Nick, we're process server for the mom. What did they showed up in the Mommies tomb and the mummies not in is like sorry Nick we're going back to the holding facility. Yeah, we will just we'll just stick up this incredibly easy to remove adhesive piece of paper to the mummies tomb door. Yeah and write some arbitrary time on it because I was fucking home at that time. Write a number down that if you put it into the internet, they're like, no, don't recognize this number. Or it says, we'll be back tomorrow at the same time.

The time we already know you're not at the house. Hmm, he wasn't here at 11 a.m., a time when almost nobody is at their house. I'll come back at 11 a.m. tomorrow. It's more convenient for me. Well, that's our five minute on deliveries, so we'll... You've been great. Now for our five minutes on deliverance. You may be a redneck if... If you fuck Ned baby? I mean it seems like that's

casting a pretty wide net. No not every redneck but if you do then you're redneck. No I'm not everyone who has had sex with Ned baby. I'm saying that I'm saying exactly. No you're not everyone who has had sex with Ned baby You're not saying that at all All right, that baby's wife is in a red neck. All right, we don't know that Dan. I'm just saying that's not taking for granted I keep one foot on shore over your day You open us up to a real live-als from mr. and Mrs. Beatty And I don't mean Warren Beatty and then Ed Bennett. They're lovely. All right. And we work so close to be in. Okay, so the mommy attacks the place where the crypts where the crusader nights are.

Those crusader nights come to life and now they work for the mommy. It's like do you guys forget why you brought the gem here in the first place? Because I did. Why did you bring that gem here in the first place? What did you think it was? And Amanet puts the gem on the dag, or, uh-oh, and it does something that steward, I think you said you like. Yeah, it's like, it's like, suction's in there, like, it's a magnet.

Yeah. I really liked it. Like, there reminds me of the first time I got a laptop where there was a magnet in the charger thing, and I held it up to the charging port, and it just kind of finished the job, and I was like, that's pretty nice. The future's now. That saved me a millimeter of movement.

Thank you, Apple. Well, it's that last millimeter that's the hardest. Yeah, that was worth losing the ability to play CDs or DVDs on my computer. Thank you. That was worth you putting a proprietary port on everything and then changing every couple of years? Sure. There is going to come a time when Apple has a new kind

of electricity that we all have to use. I guess I got to rewire my house for Apple Currents. And Apple's going to electrocute an elephant to show us how good it is. Yeah. Terrible. Thanks for nothing, terrible. Thanks for nothing Apple. Tim Cook with your Cook's tours of Europe. Okay. Does he do those?

Oh, but Anthony Bourdain did, which I think brought the audience down. I think you're reading way too much. Okay. Anyway, there's a there. Jenny drowns in the flooded tunnel. I don't remember how they got in the flooded tunnel. Nick gets captured and the mummy is beating the shit out of him. But Nick uses this to the sea. Steele's the dagger out from under her very mummified nose. And after briefly beating her up a little bit, stabs himself with the dagger. Ah, and he shakes around and he gets double pupiled like her. And the gem goes dark and the dagger shatters. Now he's set. Yeah, this is the moment I look over at Ellie

and I'm like, this is gonna be good. And the mummy, so then he chokes lambs a woman a bunch. Yeah, he starts picking up the mummy and just hammering her into the ground and it's like, ah, he was knowing she's a deadly mummy. This is kind of not cool. This is what the audience wants to see is like the leader of a crazy fucking religious called beating up a woman.

And then he chooses, and then I guess this is turned about his fair play, but he chooses the most demeaning way to kill the mummy. He gives her big, all kiss on the lips and she dribbles up and he's like, ah, I've regained myself. I remember who I am and I'm no longer set the death god. He screams at Jenny until she wakes up and comes back to life. And it's like, even that is like, how do I bend my beloved back to life?

With a kiss? No, I'll just yell at her until she wakes up. Jenny, we're late. Get him off. Stupid dead body. Jenny, my boss is waiting for us. I am not Jenny. Steely Dan is already two songs in probably. Get up. Anyway and so Nick goes to the shadows. He's now some kind of monster. What kind? We don't know.

I'm only I guess we can't see him because he's got us reenacting the Carlitos way poster and he's giving up his humanity for Jenny and so it's appeared in Wax off in the darkness. Just like a forest gump did right? Wax off into the darkness. No he trade his humanity for Jenny. We're reading that movie but I think that's what happened. Like that feather is his soul and he loves it and An and Anubis is gonna weigh it against another feather.

A box of chocolates, exactly. It's pretty clear in the text there, dude. It's like Anubis weighs your heart against a box of chocolates, but Anubis keeps eating the chocolates. So it's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, you're making that box lighter, that's not fair. And, which is crazy, because he's a dog, he had a deity in deity and chocolate is terrible

Yeah, he's gonna be wearing his own soul soon. Oh boy So Dr. Jackal shows up and he talks to Jenny about how now nicks out there trying to find out if he's good or evil and Nick brings veil back to life and they go back to the desert and Dr. Jackal says They're gonna search the world for a cure a cure for the curse But he'll always fight the evil in him and Nick is like let's go on an adventure like I don't think he's looking for a cure for the curse, but he'll always fight the evil in him. And Nick is like, let's go on an adventure. Like, I don't think he's looking for a cure. And they put Aminette back in her Mercury box, I'm back another day in the next Dark Universe movie, which I assume is going to be called like Frankenstein's Pal.

So we then fast forwarded through the credits, hoping for some kind of post credits scene. I wanted to see in where they're like there's a Dr. Jekyll's in his office just reading a book as I always do. I'm going to find intelligent Oxbridge gentlemen and the phone rings. Totally normal book. There's an intercom. Dr. Jekyll the other doctor is here to see you. What other doctor? He says his name is Frankenstein but that doesn't happen. Or I was waiting for it to be like, another, a man is here to see you. His name, his name is Man Wolfman. That doesn't happen. Yeah, this reminds me of the trailer that you said you always wanted to see Stuart

where like someone runs down the hall in the White House and comes in and goes, Mr. President, have you ever heard of wearables? I think it's the most amazing thing. What is this wearable doing that's a national issue? That's what the your imagination's for, Elliot. Wait, because I have to imagine the rest of the movie? Yeah, the total trailer's all about. It's a teaser. What I was really hoping for was a scene where Russell Crowe,

you know, Dr. Jackal is reading a totally normal book and not a collection of pornography that he printed off the internet and found a self-bound at a Kinkos. No, he doesn't have like a book binding apparatus in his garage. No. And he's fallen asleep at his desk.

He slides across the counter at Kink counter. He's like, you know, buying this for me. Don't look at it. And he falls asleep at his desk and he wakes up in a dream world and we hear a familiar voice say, I think you need a new member of your dark universe, bitch. Freddie. No. And Freddie Krueger steps out into into brain. Yeah, what about if it was like universal monster right? No, what if it was like I mean I think Elliot fears I mean, he's universal language. He's universal in the sense that we all love him. So is a universal monster that he exists in all cultures?

Much like much like the trickster god or a story of a flood much like much like the trickster God or a story of a flood or if it was like it's like we need another monster in Jane Fonda walks out and she goes how about a monster in law and then Lily Tomlin walks out and goes no we're grace and Frankie now. All right we're running late so let's I just want to say one thing okay okay oh no it can be part of my final judge okay yeah this is where we review final judgments Dark judgments a good bad movie a bad bad movie or a movie we kind of liked Elliott You were gonna say something so bad bad guys, but anyway, let's get to what I was gonna say

I love the universal monsters. I love them to death even beyond death like many of the monsters themselves There was a time when my wardrobe consisted mainly of universal monsters t-shirts and black jeans. They make t-shirts like those for guys bigger than me. Did I tuck in those t-shirts? Damn straight, I did. Yeah! Yeah! Anyways.

So here's what I was gonna say. There is no one who would rather see a revitalized universal monsters more than me. And no one would like to see it less than the descendants of the monster actors themselves who make nothing off these movies. That's not true. They make a little bit thanks to the court battle they had a few years ago. But anyway, so, but they are doing it, they're doing it at a few your own points. On my own worst enemy, like Jacqueline Hyde, they are doing it like so weirdly by trying to make them into, kind of like, actually, like

they're trying to make them into superhero movies. The idea that what the monsters are now going to team up and be a team that fights other monsters, like, whereas in the old Universal Monster crossover movies, there were just a bunch of monsters that fought each other in eight people. And it would be like, the only good one was the wolf man because he was always trying to get cured, but he never could. But why would you try to start this? Is this the mummy of all monster?

Is there a less dynamic monster than the mummy? And I know there's a lot of mum heads out there. But let me just say this. Sure, they tried it first with Dracula. It didn't work. Of course they did. Dracula is the diamond in the crown in that he's sexy with the other universal monsters are not Go to Frankenstein dude Not money. What are you thinking? Here's the hierarchy of universal monsters?

Dracula up top two reasons sexy has a medal. He was in the Olympics Number two Frankenstein goes without saying. He's only the Chewbacca of the team. Exactly. He's the Chewbacca of the Universal Monsters. He's sympathetic even though he rips the arms off of people. As seen in Sun of Frankenstein. Anyway, number three, I guess it. Wolfman. Yeah, of course. I'll tell you why everyone can relate to them. Everyone goes through time in their life when they have just too much hair. So...

I mean, you're still in that time, Ellie. And I will be forever, unfortunately. Yeah. It's a curse that we pass on from generation to generation to generation. So do you put the mummy above Gilman? No, I don't. I'll tell you why. Gilman?

Beautiful design. Orgis. So beautiful. Women want to have sex with them. It's sexy too. There was a movie about it. It won best picture. Guillermo del Toro is rebooting Universal Monsters so much better than Universal is right

now. I wanted to keep doing off-brand Universal Monster movies where women have sex with each of these monsters. Ha ha. Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay. Next. Oh, we don't have time. Do it past.

You think I'm going to say mummy. No, medallino mutant from this island Earth. Oh, god. Come on. We sympathize with him because he can't tie his shoes, because he has pincers for hands. And his brain is exposed. He's very vulnerable. He's the emo monster.

All right. Then finally, mummy. OK. You know why you put him last? Why? Because he's all wrapped up in himself. OK. OK.

My final judgment is bad bad, Stuart. Guys. All right. OK. OK. OK. No, this was a bad, bad movie. Yeah, there was just so many flashbacks. What's up with that, Dan? Why all the flashbacks?

You know, something about the mommy makes us miss Dalgik, yeah. It was the movie that thought we couldn't understand the concept of Evil Mummy comes back. That makes it sound like Evil mummy comes back to his hometown. It's his high school reunion. And he's like, I guess I should show up. Or she, it's a woman in the... I guess I should show them what I've accomplished in 20 years.

Nothing. I live at the same tomb with the same scarabs. The same rapings. Same old rapings. They're like, mummy, you were really the BMOC, big mummy on campus. Like what's, what's, what's, what's all that promise? You were voted most likely to be exhumed. Like what's, what's been going on with you?

Oh, nothing. I don't know what I'm doing in my life. It's like a young adult basically with a mummy. Yeah. So, yeah. So, I guess what I'm saying is, universal, keep trying. Hey, we're Ben and Adam, and we're here to tell you about our Star Trek podcast, The Greatest Generation.

Why should I listen to a Star Trek podcast? You may be asking yourself, well, ours is actually good and funny. We joke around, we, uh, we have a lot of fun, we talk about film production techniques that are used in Star Trek. We love to break down the stories and the characters, and we just have a blast while we're doing it. It's kind of like sitting around with a couple of buds

having a beer and talking about an episode of one of your favorite shows. So go to MaximumFund.org or wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe to the greatest generation. Yeah whatever you're using to listen to this, just have it find us and subscribe. Hi this is Rachel McAroy. Hello this is Griffon McAroy. And this is wonderful. It's a podcast that we do as we are married and how's the ad going so far because I think it's going very good. We talk about things we like every week on winces One time Rachel talked about pumper and nickel bread. It was so tight

You cannot afford to miss chard talking about this sweet brown bread. We also talk about music and poems and You know weather there is one Oh, weather One time Rachel talked about baby beluga this song for like 14 minutes and it just really blew my hair back So check us out on maximumfund.org. It's a cool podcast with chill vibes Amber is the color of our energy is what all the items reviews say they will now Hey guys, it's Dan, your old buddy, Dan. You remember me?

You were just listening to me in a different form on the live show. And because it's a live show, you know what that means. A solo ad read from yours truly. Hey, I'm not going to bring the Zaz this time. I'm going to be up front with you. Very little Zaz. I got a cough that I've had for months, which the doctor is not clearing up. I took my cat to the vet. Cat's got gum disease. It's being taken care of. Don't worry

about Archie. He's going to do just fine. He's not in pain right now. He just needs a little work done, but you know, it's not fun. And it's very rainy and glum outside and I'm just sitting here alone in a room talking to myself. So I don't get a lot of zez, but you know what deserves zez is Casper, the mattress, not the ghost. Support for the flop house comes from Casper, a sleep brand dedicated to continuing to revolutionize this line of products to create an exceptionally comfortable sleep experience one night at a time.

That Casper mattresses are perfectly designed and engineered to soothe and cradle your natural geometry. And if you've never had your geometry cradled, oh boy, you're infertile. There's free shipping and returns in the US and Canada, and you can be sure of your purchase with Casper's 100 night, risk-free, sleep on it, trial. That's 100 nights, so you could sleep on a mattress without paying for it.

Wow, wow, where can you get that deal? Not in a hotel, I'll tell you that. I tried to sleep in a hotel for 100 nights, they wanted money. Hey, I have a sleep in a hotel for a hundred nights. They wanted money. Hey, I have a cash for mattress. And it's great. No complaints from old Dano. I mean, that's not true. I've got a lot of complaints, but they're not related to the comfort of my mattress. So why don't you get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting Casper.com, slash flop house and using promo code flop house at checkout. That's Casper.com slash flop house and promo code flop house for $50 toward select

mattresses, terms and conditions apply. Here's a jumbo tron going out over the earwaves. It's a four jack and it's from Jenna or perhaps Gena because it begins with a G. I'm gonna guess Jenna, but maybe it's Gena. Happy birthday, Jackster. You've got a wild schedule between taking care of baby wildlife and listening to the flopphouse in the shower. So I'm always grateful we get to hang.

You are the funniest person I know. Nobody makes me laugh harder. I'm so proud of all you've accomplished in just a quarter century Cheers to the next 25 years love Jenna or Jenna that's very nice. Hey We got a couple items of business, but I won't try and take up more of your time There's t-shirt contest ongoing. It will, you get to design a t-shirt for the flop house when a prize, including making a movie for us to do on the show.

And if you go to the website, which is flophousepodcast.com, click on there's the blog section. I put up a post that says t-shirt contest that has all of the details that I won't get into here, but it has all the technical specs you need and everything like that. And we're doing a lot of touring coming up in the summer and early fall in June. We will be in Portland, that's June eight. July 13th will be in Minneapolis.

On the 28th of September, we will be in Boston. The early show has sold out, that's a 7 p.m. show, but we've added a 9.45 p.m. show where things get a little sixier. And then on October the 12thth we will be in Los Angeles. But I won't waste any more of your time with my irritating ramblings. Listen to my irritating ramblings broken up by the irritating ramblings of my ghosts back at the show. All right, we have a little time to do our final segment which is answer a few questions from the show. All right, we have a little time to do our final segment,

which is answer a few questions from the audience. If you play a question. That you may not have questions. That's OK. That's all right. Or you may have questions. Or a bunch of idiots. So this part, we stand up because we've

been sitting for a while. There's a microphone somewhere. Over there. Over there. Stage right, house left. There's a microphone. All right, so until. Try not to trample each other, get in that microphone. This is not the left. There's a microphone. All right, so until... Try not to trample each other, get in that microphone.

This is not the coronation of a czar. We don't need a crowd to be trampled, Dave. That kind of stuff would happen back then. If they were all running from vampires or something. Okay, guys. We probably won't have time to get through everyone. I've warned you. I apologize, and we're gonna have even less time

because I gotta say Seattle. It's a great day, Seattle. The place that's known for its cattle, Seattle. That's a rhyme I stole from Weird Al. And a song about Seattle. So we're here at the Neptune Theater, surrounded by stained glass images of Neptune, a guy who can ride a horse or a dolphin. What can this guy not ride?

Neptune Theater, because we're next to the sea. At a T and a T and an L and an E, you got Seattle. Seattle. And now we're going to answer some questions from the people of this great town. Turn that smile back into a frown, then turn it back into a smile. Because it's time for those questions from Seattle. Thanks everybody. All right. Question time. Dan, you remember that you've got those human resources complaints about climbing under tables.

All right. Yes, sir. All right. Morgan, last name of the health. I'm Morgan. Long time with me. I'm Colin. You are here.

Thank you so much for the show. I loved it. Two quick things. Thank you so much for the show. I loved it. Two quick things. One, there's a post show meetup and college pub. If anyone wants to help, we'll have drinks. How close is that for here? Okay, we can do that if it's a callogen pub. All right. We were going to regumine another bar, but we have no attachments to that other bar, so. We'll go to the collagen pub. Collagen pub, everyone. I guess it's where people go to get their lips puffy.

Collagen pub. Collagen pub. And I'm gonna use this as an opportunity to quote the fact that we also have a little after the show, we do have some shirts and both. We're only selling it live show. It's your, yeah. Who knows what will happen next year?

Yeah, who knows? And we'll be... Who knows what will happen next year? Yeah, who knows. And we'll be signing... My doll will be dead. Yeah, we... Damn. What? Sorry, we'll be signing stuff afterwards

if anyone's interested in that. So, what's your question, sir? Morgan. So, my question is, as we learn from the mummy, monsters are very bad. Huh? We knew that before we watched the mummy.

If you had to be to do to buy a monster, which is okay. Well, we know Ellie is not going to pick mum. He's so... Right, Franketsign, Elsa Lanchester, come on. But not as the bride, as Mary Shelley, earlier in the movie. And she is very cleav-y. I'm going to say a werewolf because, you know... Mary Shelley earlier in the movie and she is very cleav-y. I'm gonna say a werewolf because, you know, sometimes it's a bad boy.

He's trying to be good, you know? Yeah, you try, you can tame him, yeah. Yeah, I think I can change. Was Ingrid Pitt a vampire in the vampire lovers Or was she just a victim of a vampire? I don't remember. Dan, the answer is Ingrid Pitt. I think Dan, those types of vampire movies are more at your speed.

I like the vampire movies are in black and white. We're Bella Goese's and I'm in Dracula. I like a movie where woman vampires is another woman vampire. I'm not judging you by what you like. All right. I'm saying what I like. Give me the Legosi.

Thank you. Anyway, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Yeah, just, yeah, just rip it out. Open like night. For those at home, a man took the microphone off the stands It was a feat of string

I'm about to run across the stage so Done last time with held I was listening Today I was walking my dog around And don't pander to your own hometown. Pandering. Yes, thank you. And I was listening to episode 77. I don't know which one it is.

Skyline. Skyline. Skyline. Oh, yeah, that's a movie. And you guys mentioned, I saw the Chile franchise. Yeah. Yeah. And you guys mentioned there was a more interesting movie going on in the background that was not our

main character. But can you guys think of any other movies where there is a more interesting movie going on that is not the movie that the movie it's focused on, the main character there, that is in the setting or the background. Not the A plot? Exactly. I mean, this is not to disparage the movie, it appears in. But in 12-months, you can make a month, say about the movie, Vertigo. And Vertigo is better.

12-months. That's about the same thing. That's not a bad movie. Well, okay, then it's the part and over drawn at the memory one. Well, Monk is. Which one, Monk is not a bad movie. That's not the same thing. Well, okay, then it's the part and over drawn at the memory bank when Casablanca starts playing. Okay.

And you get whiplash from the gulf between those two films. I think that like pretty much every comedy has like a less interesting lead than the supporting characters, yeah. This is like a less interesting lead than the supporting characters, you know? This is like a cop-out answer because I'm not getting specific about anything, but I feel like they're like,

oh, the supporting characters can be funny. I wanna know what Judy Greer's up to. I hate my pocket. Oh, I thought- Now it works. A fly came up. Now somehow this works. How do I get this?

I'm like, I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I Have my pocket. Yeah, oh, I thought now it works I fly came up that somehow this works I came up from Stewart's presentation. I said game over and I was like computer you bitch Patty computer Dan's computer is the Samantha of us Stewart you have an answer to you? I mean, I mean, like the moment in

for me, it's where he put where Michael Passman, I don't know if that quite answers it, but that's the best I can do. Thank you very much. Thank you. I think I should have sent the send earlier thanks Dan. You can even have you sent it earlier Dan would be like I forgot to look for these. I have someone in an original rocket crocodile t-shirt. Collector Zydon. Hi Tristan, last thing we've held. There's a scene in the movie in the rural Anglican church where the Princess Amonette makes it very clear that like she likes Tom Cruise's body. Yeah, she's rubbing all over it. She actually like checks his teeth like a horse and... I mean, he has good teeth.

I mean, she's gonna put set in that body. It's gonna make me a good job. Yeah. Since apparently all set wants to do with eat ice cream, all the food they can get. It's like, how is set going to enjoy a corn cob? This guy doesn't have good teeth. So my question is, if you had to pick an actor to be the vessel for an ancient god, which actor and which god?

I mean, I'd say Mads Mikkelson, but any God would be lucky to get into that vessel. But I guess, you know what, the Festus has had a pretty hard time of it. He deserves a good bod now. So you want to put a Festus in Mads-Megelson? Yeah, dude. Can you say Mads-Megelson, like, sweating over a word? It would be amazing. I think it would be funny just for the

larfs of it. But the online which was a very serious proposition. Hephaestus, Matt's getting touched with me. Put Thor into Steve Buschemi. Just to see how I dealt with that. And not a different hymnsworth brother. Yeah. You know, man, I'm blanket.

I would say, I would, that boots are all knowing, lighting God, and he's open, just for fucking me. But just because he's like, I'm a swan now, do me. Yeah, I'm like, I'm a summer now, do me. Yeah, I'm a summer rain, do me. I'm a shower of gold. I would put in Dan McCoy's body. I guess technically I qualify.

Dan is steward and I are in snatchers. A low budget. Common hasn't been released. Yeah, moving that hasn't been released. So look for that on, I guess, probably some screaming platform. Very good. It's a point. Great question.

Next question, please. Hi, Aaron, last same with Elf. Oh. Elf, Elf, the dark universe has been successfully moved. I think it's time to move on to other platforms. I have to say, great musical writers. What kind of dark universe is musical? Oh boy.

Here's the thing, young Franketsign was on Broadway. Didn't really do Franketsign in music. Like, I wanted them to. So many jokes. So here's what I want to do. Gonna be real serious, real dark. But I want to open it up to the great ones. Well, like Dracula, Eetod, someone from Into the Woods, I don't know. Aaron Burr.

Who's the bad guy and rent the landlord, I guess? And I guess the head of the Russians in Fiddler on the roof, and I guess throw the mommy in there. The bad guy and rent is the idea of having to pay for something. Oh, so it's a libertarian thing, okay. So anyway, you're trying to get me to sing a song And I want to so badly that I can see how mad it would make Dan So I'll tell you what I'm gonna work on it send the letter in the flop house remind me Jeez, Ellen's handing out the homework Hi, David last name was held. Hello, so Lance having on the whole for I

David last name with help oh so dark universe being dead Tom Cruise And not since I'm just trying to point it out. The series isn't gonna continue. Oh man, I was expecting tea. Is the event gonna be over? So what is a setup for a sequel that's never happened? Well I mean, Rima Williams, the adventure begins.

The adventure never continued. It just sort of stopped. It began and then immediately stopped like a second later. Dan's looking at me like I had something to do with this. I mean also, Buck Ruppons, I've heard of the world crime league never came about. I mean, I'm genuinely disappointed in my name. I like the first one a lot. I know it didn't make money. Okay, chill out

But no, I thought it was fun. They put a lot of work in the time That Taylor catch you know, I think just needs the right role Obviously it's gambit right it's gambit everyone's favorite character gambit. I thought Channing Tatum was gonna be Taylor keep you play gambit in that terrible movie The one we watch for the show that we do. Yeah, yeah. The movie that I mean, Deadpool works. Somehow, Sput off Deadpool, even though Deadpool is the worst character in that movie, because he can't talk.

Guess what I'm saying is Deadpool, I don't know, something like that. That's your answer to the question. No, let's see. Well, when I was a kid, a lot of rumors about a second's faithful people. That's where you, that's your answer to the question. No, let's see. Well, when I was a kid, a lot of rumors about a second faithful people. And they kept saying that it was going to be called, these are what kids around the play yard were telling me. We're not telling you that coverboard is real.

Parents just don't want them on the market. Yeah. Or if you beat Mike Tyson and Mike Tyson's punch out in a specific way, you'll fight a guy named Ray Thraschman. I ask you. Yeah, so these are very regional specific ones, I guess. But I was told there's going to be a space balls parody. It's going to be called Spaceballs 3, the search for Spaceballs 2.

And I'm like, and I don't know who came up with that joke somewhere in playground lands, but that's a funny idea for the name of a sequel. So I was disappointed as a kid that never happened. All right, sounds good. Hi. Hello. Hello. Katherine, last name with held.

My question comes with a small gift. Oh, your favorite kind, because we're not from here. And we have to travel afterwards. I thought about that. Yeah. This is Karate Dog, a DVD. I'm going to come around and talk. Karate Dog. Feat this is karate dog a TV TV. I'm gonna come around to karate dog. I'm gonna come around to karate dog.

Beaturing the voice of Chevy Chase. I know. Thank you. Yes. This is a movie I've only seen the ending of. Oh, no, you get the whole movie. Oh, fantastic. And I picked this up and I grossed it. Oh, John Voitz in this.

Seal of quality. Oh, man, look at his hair. Dr. Doe Little meets Inter the Dragon. Okay, well, finally, I, by brain, cannot comprehend that. We finally met. So, thank you very much. Do you have a question also or a story? I do. Yes. I was curious. What are your favorite good good and good bad dog booby? Good bad. I remember I

Just vaguely remember from like being a child that on HBO. Oh, Heavenly Dog was on all the time Where Chevy Chase died and came back as a dog and I believe had to solve perhaps his own murder I don't know. There's no possible way of finding out. It's been lost to time. The plot of a heavenly dog. I like tall dogs go to heaven. Yeah.

They didn't. There's a dog hell in that movie. Anyway, my favorite good good move out dog, I guess, would be Umberto D. The Italian Neorealist classic about a poor man and his dog. And I guess my favorite. And actually, I don't know. I know as a kid, I know because it was on HB all the time that I saw Wontong Tom the

dog who's totally, but I don't remember it at all. So maybe that, I don't know. I think let's do two more. And I really apologize for everyone else who's in the line. But we do have time that we're supposed to be out here. No, we don't have time. But I promise you that if you come down afterwards, while we're finding things that we will answer questions,

if you have good questions. But maybe have back questions. We'll have a few. You've got back questions. Get out get at it here sorry sorry so much anyway yes Connor last name of the again podcast we know of your movie collection over and over again and the organizing that but I was wondering for the rest of you guys, what's your most like prized movie,

Beverly or something, not to steal it, or anything like that, don't worry. I just know I have a pretty good idea of what you're going to say. Oh, well, you know what my most prized movie, the Meme of the Villiers, is about a DVD with my Gurdie the Dinosaur drawing, which listener Michael Wates arranged for me to receive and I'm really

thankful for it every day and I hung it up on my wall in the night to the frame. I look at it every day. I was originally drawing from dirty the dining. I know I was excluded from this question because of the reasons I know. But I have a couple of signed DVDs. Andri Circus signed my two towers and Terry Jones. Terry Jones signed my life of Ryan DVDs, so those are nice movie things. And I have a promotional still. I'll do it so far. Now this piece of movie art has been autographed by Star Jonathan. And in his words on the piece of memorabilia it reads,

I ripped it off myself. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hey, Erica, last thing we told you. Had an anxiety dream about weird people coming into the bar when you're trying to close it, you didn't find the bar and take higher alcohol? Uh-huh, it was basically the plot of the movie Mother. Actually it was the plot of the Arthur segment of the Star Wars holiday segment.

Oh no, no, no. So your nightmare is to be the Arthur. What did a holiday specials give you the rest of you? Nine minutes. And also I have something for Elliot that I think. Yeah, I'll be honest. I'll be honest that the reason that I said two more questions as I saw that this question answer had a glowing cube And I was like

It seems like a cosmic cube of some kind I'll keep it very safe by which I mean I will give it to the person Thanos is most likely to go to To get it. Thank you very much No, but yeah, that's yeah I will not give it to Sue because he is the Tom Bonvittal of the group. There's a So there's a There's a Christmas

Special call One there's a Christmas special called Noel, which is about these There's a question now. There's a question special called Noel, which is about this. This glass blower has a tear of joy when he blows this glass ornament. And so Noel is this glass ornament and he keeps going, I've got a happiness in me. Despite the fact that in the course of this that in the course of this special, he gets put up in the attic year after year, only comes out once a year and gets to have joy once a year. Eventually, the owners of him die and he lives in a broken down decrepit house.

And then finally, the new owners come and find him and he immediately shatters. He falls off the, I mean mean they try and make it a happy ending by the happiness within him is then loose out and he can finally see Jesus in the manger, which he had an obstructive view of before. And so it's a very highly religious uh oh yeah that's all in the Bible yeah I fumbled over the story of that but it was just so baffling yeah my I guess there was that claimation special so I only have scattered memories of it

and I just remember it as a dinosaur gene sys going Robert D. Roger Ebert basically yeah yeah and they're like guys with bells for heads. Yeah, yeah, what about the bell song? Carol the bells. And I just remember being a good boy being like, but I But I apparently I don't and it made me feel so alone in the universe. All right, so I guess that's the end of the show. Thank you all for coming. Wait a bit. No it's a big finish. Yeah big finish. Big finish. We're gonna have you at a bar.

The name of which I've forgotten. Collagen. Anyone remember? Collagen. Collagen. Yeah. Collagen Pub. It's a Pub, Dan. But before that, we're going to be downstairs or wherever the merch is. I can't remember. It's over that way in the whole of the Dan. I didn't deal with the merch. I was in here making sure that the slideshow's kind of works. But thank you all so much for coming. This was the part of the show where it's like the end of a family holiday where all the

grievances come out. You never, you wouldn't pay for my my school but you pay for his school. Thank you for coming. Thanks to the Neptune Theatre for being so nice to us. Thanks Seattle for the flop house. I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Stylelia Kalen. Thank you everybody. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night.

Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night.

Good night. Um, this episode of the show, oh that's what now I do it. No, okay. Re-rack it. Take two. No more fool food around. I can't call that an unforced error. Maximumfund.org.

Comedy and culture. Artist-own. Audience-supported.