The Flop House - Ep. #301 - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Episode Date: January 4, 2020

We kick off the New Year (and the next 300 episodes?) by discussing a movie that no one has ANY strong feelings about -- Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. One programming note: we sort of threw together this episode at the last moment because Elliott was visiting New York, so we skip the usual letters and recommendation segments. Don't worry, though -- we still manage to talk for 100 minutes. Because it's Star Wars. Wikipedia synopsis of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

On this episode of the Flop House, a very special Flop House in theaters, we discuss Star Wars, Rise of Skywalker. Stuart gives it two thumbs somewhere. Oh man. You don't wanna know. Hey everyone, welcome to the Flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Oh hey there Dan, it's me Stuart Wellington. It was a little bit of a cowboy. Oh hey there Dan. Oh let's mosey on over to this can. Well well well.

As the sun goes down over a flop house town. Really the first thing you can think of. We ambelong down to the catfish creek to catch ourselves dinner. I mean, we should have caught dinner before the sun went down. Well, there's going to be more difficult than a night fishing, but you know what? Nothing tastes better than a 1 a.m. meal.

I mean, the hard part's going to be built in the fire when it's dark out. I mean, the question is what's called the fourth year. Over at Taco Bell. I mean, if it's near the Solstice, the winter solstice, the average right now. Right, Dan, it's late in the year, so it gets dark for earlier. Who wants to eat dinner at 3 p.m. out on the range? I'm Ellie Kaelin, by the way.

To quote my father at 3 p.m., there's less of a crowd, so the restaurant's better, obviously. You're right, the river. It's easier to get a table by the river with a catfish or a jumpin'. What'd you call it? A Crick earlier? Yep. That crackling cricket.

Oh, okay, let's see. Wait, the crick is crackling? Yeah, it's crackling. It's crackling. Um, let's... That would be the moment when the show shoots you. I don't want to unpack a lack that joke. So we're all together here in my suddenly very hot apartment.

Yeah, all together now, all together now on the set, the so of the flop house. And it's kind of in prompting so we don't have it planned the way we normally do. Yeah, this is going to be a slightly different episode of the the flop house number one. Yeah, we're trying things out, you know mix them up Guess or maybe it's just that we sort of like through this together the last minute because Ellie it was gonna be in town But I was in town for my cousin's wedding. Yeah, well you are in town currently And you're speaking to the listener. I mean when this episode's released released, I may still be in time. Do you think my cousin's wedding was the play and sequel for Mike as in Vinnie?

I, but, oh, yeah, we finally see Vinnie. Yeah, we think that. We finally see Vinnie get married to Mercedomay, but here's the thing. This time Vinnie's in jail. And Mercedomay has to argue the case to get him out, because only a fool would represent himself in court. And Vinny is no fool, as seen in my cousin Vinny, in which that fast-talking New York-wise guy, not actually a wise guy, but you know what I mean. He manages to pull one over on those smooth, southern slixters. Yeah, it seems so nice.

Wait, wait, there's slicks on there. Well, the lawyer is. You know, okay. Vinny seems so nice in that movie, but then I saw the Irishman recently, and like, I don't know what time happened to him, but he was really mean to people. Well, I mean, I wouldn't describe him as not, not, no.

Okay. So he wants to make, he wants to be friends with the Irishman's daughter really badly, you know, and obviously being spurned in the friendship of a kid. He's a relatively patient with Al Pacino. He's very wrinkly at one point. They're all very wrinkly. The Irishman is the movie where I spent the first 40 minutes

being like, how old is Robert De Niro supposed to be? Because he looks like he's in his 50s, but they're all calling him the kid. And he just got back from the war. Yeah, there's that bit where he beats up that shopkeeper and he like curbs down. And it's the the biggest thing I've ever seen. It's he's worried that it's course it's gonna pop if it lifts his legs too high. Well, we've trailed ourselves almost immediately.

We're done by the Irishman, right? The point is, all right, number one, we're doing- Also, Robert De Niro, I think, is Italian. Wait, what? Hold on. I think you need to look at the chirona game. Good point. Number one, this episode is going to be slightly different because we sort of threw it together

because of Elits and Town number two. And I mean, we realized we had all seen the same movie. Yes, we're talking about Rise of Skywalker because we all have thoughts about it. Everyone rises dark nights, planet of the apes, eventually Skywalker was going to. You know what, normally we don't see movies and theaters, but what we do, but not for the podcast. We frequently, well, you guys frequently see movies and theaters.

I do not normally see them because it's hard for me to get out at night. Yeah, I mean, there is a moment in life. It's like a, like in a video game where an NPC gave me an option. I had two options. I could go see movies or I could have children. I chose option A. Yeah. They're times when I wonder if I made the wrong choice. Then I see the sweet little boys faces. I go by sweet little boys on their silver screen. They're similar things. Both are very very popular choice.

I mean, you could go see JoJo Rabbit and see someone who looks just like my son on the movie screen. So, I could also see a good movie. Oh, whoa! Oh! I hope Tyke would hear this. Listen to this. No, he's very cool. He's too busy and cool.

Yeah, we all like you, Tyke. But the other thing, that's not- Daddy's not listening. It's somehow that was much worse than being legitimately afraid that he would hear. But it's do or not. Sorry. The other thing is like, I don't know. Maybe we'll do some of our regular segments, but maybe we won't.

And this episode, keeping guessing. So think of this as a flop house after dark, because it is after dark, because it's near the solstice. The winter solstice. You really hit that solstice hard. Really dating the episode damn so since this is gonna be released at the very least a week after the solstice but uh the solstice already that was it was 21st of December are you looking at me Europe it's not it's not your calendar man

too oh sorry I should never reveal that Batman don't have been listening no no I hope that means not listening. We love you, bats. It's okay. Let us. Who's Batman's tech person? It was a 21st radio or not my co-check. Because that's it's Oracle, the tech person, or just like a like a research assistant. And who's Batman's tech person?

Like each squad? The one Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman. I mean, this is Fox. Okay, Lucius Fox, yeah. Okay. So we had a lot of fun here, but we're not talking about DC Comics character, the Batman. We're gonna talk about the Irish man. No, he's the superhero who has the power of the Irish, which means he's lucky,

which means he's a long shot. Before we move on, I'll say, I'm impressed that, you know, we've had a lot of laughs at the expense of the Irishman's wacky digital effects, but you know we've had a lot of laughs at the expense of the Irishman's wacky digital effects But you know what it may just still be really good despite those things or possibly because those Well the Irishman is to me and then we'll get into it with the movie I said I'm at it's like when you see a band live And you're like I love this band. I love this song and the band is like you know We've been playing the song for 30 years We're gonna do kind of like a loose jam version of this song

And you're like you know what if this had been the first version I ever heard, I don't think it would have been my favorite, but I love seeing them playing around and having fun with this thing that they do so well. And like that to me is the Irishman, it's March 20th, it's like, I've done this story before. I'm gonna do the kind of thing where I like play around with it and I just take my time with it and just do, I do things that normally I would cut out because I'm trying to make this movie. Like a scene where two characters talk about

serial preferences. Yeah, well frankly, my favorite parts are the fact that Joe Pesci cannot become friends with Rob D'Anero's daughter and Jimmy Hoffa so naturally becomes friends with Rob D'Aner's daughter and I'm like, I wanna see a movie about that on these two corrupt guys fighting over the friendship of this adolescent girl and to see a movie about that. But these two corrupt guys are fighting over the friendship of this adolescent girl, and there's nothing creepy about it.

It's literally just that this girl is, they just want the thing that childless old men have where they're like, oh, I need the life that comes from being around a young person. You guys will know what it's like. Anyway, eventually. But just the, wait, does that make me half a or two patchy? Look, everyone decides whether to be a Hoffa or a Patty look between the two of us

I think we both know who a child would naturally find warm and approachable I don't know Dan. I would refer you to again when you would come over for dinner and you and Sammy would watch them up It's together, but uh the but I'm your son is a very special shot. Yeah, you're more as I might be who put on Mr. Freeze costume blast ice all over the place. I guess. Oh, this is my carpet. Sure. Not anymore. It'll melt it'll melt him. It'll melt him. It'll melt in the water damage. Yeah, well, that you'll have to deal with sure. Yeah, that's one thing that Bayman doesn't really talk about. The water damage caused by Mr. Freeze bullshit. And that's the real crime. Yeah, well that you'll have to deal with sure Yeah, that's one thing that Batman doesn't really talk about It's the water damage caused by Mr. Freeze bullshit

And that's the real crime So I guess one thing is I wish the Irishman was called the Irishman's daughter And it was just these two old gangsters Like, they go to the friendship of this kid But okay, it's the jam band version Okay, but we heard talk about Star Wars the rise of Skywalker Yeah The possibly final chapter in the Star Wars saga Of Of course, we know it won't be.

There's money to be made in that. According to a word on the street, it was a huge financial flock, right? What was this? I mean, it did make the least of the three new movies. But it's also like, one, I'm sure it was disappointing to them, but also, I remember when last Jedi came out, and they were like, didn't do the business that force awakens did looks like Star Wars is slipping It's like yeah, dude force away. It was the first new Star Wars movie in what 15 years Yeah, we're releasing another movie a year or two later. Of course it's not gonna be as exciting and people aren't gonna Like Han Solo's in that shit, dude Once you do lots of hot solo

People love him. Once he's a lot of hot solo. Once hot solo. Is it for Harrison Ford? Yeah, absolutely. And they like, they like Han Solo when it's Harrison Ford. Yeah. Because when it's someone else playing

Han Solo, people are not quite so eager. That's also one of the reasons. To see the adventures of Han Solo. This guy kind of is Han Solo. You can just slot another dude in. It's like when they try to make all those like pink Panther movies with that Peter Sellers. Mm-hmm. Like the thing about the Peter Sellers, I can just slot another dude in. It's like when they tried to make all those pink panther movies with that Peter Sellers.

Mm-hmm. Like the thing about the Peter Sellers, about the pink panther, he's a mythic character. Anyone can play him. He's like, Odysseus, he's many masks, and it's like, no, it's pretty much just Peter Sellers. Now I know that, I mean, people are gonna write in, Elliot knows that the character's in fact,

called Inspector Cluso, yes, I know the pink panther. There was the diamond. The diamond that was stolen by what Steven Niven's uh, I don't know, but uh, I only watched that one once because it's actually one of the less funny ones. The first one, I reach a certain age where I stopped carrying whether Frankenstein was the doctor or the monster.

I'm just gonna call Clueso's character the Pink Panther since he essentially became that. The same way I know Nick Charles is not the thin man. The thin man is the man he is looking for who's disappeared but by the second movie it's like look we're just going to start talking about him as if he's the thin man. Come on. So Peter Sellers, there's no reason to call those movies the pink panther. If it's not Peter Sellers because the diamond is no longer a plot point. David Niven is the bad guy in time man. Um, no.

That's a Ralph, that's, that's, uh, that's, uh, why am I forgetting his name? Uh, for my first time, you said, we're gonna say Ralph Ritchard. Who's the way God? Yeah. It's, um, and I'm going to look it up and people don't know. David Warner, David Warner, who is much younger than David Niven. Okay. Well, David Niven is from like, he's from the Golden Age of Hollywood. David Warner is from later on. Uh, well, David Niven is from like the best from the Golden Age of Hollywood.

David Warner is from later on. Anyway, so the Rise of Scour. So guys, we're gonna get into it. It's like I'm avoiding talking about this movie. So basically, here's what you need to know about the plot of the Rise of Scour Walker. The Emperor is back somehow, that's how it's explained in the movie.

The Emperor came back somehow, and he's like. Like, times they come back. So like in this one, we're, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, So, like, artist. Yeah. It's I have still have such a strong emotional connection with it. And I'm still I watched the first I was very excited to watch the first movies with my son finally. I'm watching them. I'm like, these still cast a spell over me. And it's still amazing to me that so much of this just come at came out of George Luke's his mind combining different disparate elements into a story that is, you know, phenomenally

entertaining and like moving in a way that is not, it's not necessarily meant to be and that is beautiful in some ways and gave all these other people the opportunity to exercise their craft in really fantastic ways. And it's also, there are also movies that like, I feel like for the, like you can look at most of them and find like, what cast a critical eye on them and try and pick up our details. But at this point, I have no control over my emotional attachment. I have seen every single Star Wars movie

and I have left the movie theater not disappointed. That includes the prequels. I can't control it. Like, I can be like, this was dumb and silly, but I wasn't mad. Yeah, but when you left this one, how did you feel? I felt very unhappy. So I think, Dan and I and you, we formed a spectrum

where you were very unhappy about it. Dan was like, yeah, Star Wars, what you're gonna do. And I'm kind of in the middle where I'm like, I think I'm not, if I was younger, I'd be mad, but instead I'm just kind of like, you know what, I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed. I'm disappointed. I'm not so mature of you.

That's, I'm aged in tort my hair and garments, which was a cool, Darth Maul all over print t-shirt. I don't know why I had to say cool, I think you guys have seen that. But then you say it's redundant to say, just cool, Darth Maul all over print t-shirt. That it's like, oh, you were handed the reins, all the people involved. And it's easy to put this at the feet of one person,

but a lot of people are involved. You were handed the reins of like, this really, this, it is a franchise, but it's a special thing that holds a special place in people's hearts. And you were like, I guess we'll just do it again, but we'll make it into like a scavenger hunt for magic objects, so the servers has was never been we'll get into that. I just like.

The very the guffin base. The fact that they have to find a magic dagger so they can read an inscription on the dagger to find the wayfinders that they can use the wayfinder find the evil planet where the emperor has his huge fleet of ships that he built somehow. It's a point click adventure. Yeah, just feel like a point. The fleet of star destroyers that all grew giant planet destroying Dix.

It's that are easily destroyed by just shooting them with bewings and they would. It's like if in the first movie, Luke, and we'll get into the plot briefly. But it's like in the first movie, Luke and Han went to the Death Star. I love that you're mad at how easily they blew up. You're like, their armor rating is much higher than the Death Star. Well, no, because they were built up as this enormous threat. And then it's just like a easily they blew up your life. Their armor rating is much higher than the attack.

Well, no, because they were built up as this enormous threat. And then it's just like, oh, a couple shots just takes it out. When it's time for them to be taken out. But if Luke and Han went to the Death Star and they went to the cell block and they opened the door and there's a fucking mushroom man and he said, the princess is in another Death Star.

Here's a clue that'll help you find that. The fact that in this movie, they're like, we have to find the clue to the wayfinder without any sense of how ridiculous this is. Well, I mean, not to jump way ahead in the movie, but the most egregious example of that is when they go and to the ruins of the old Death Star off in the ocean of some planet,

and they pull out the dagger and the sight of it, the grooves mash up with the destroyed Death Star, and I'm like, okay, well, who did this at what point and why? Did it match up with the Death Star? Was it like a mountain or something like that? No, it matched up with the Death Star. Yeah, I don't know. It's a circle part of the Death Star.

Well, I mean, it was a dagger that was held by this super tough bounty hunter, everyone was afraid of, who also had the goofiest, doofiest robot sidekick that that was just the fact that they're like we're introducing a new robot by the way he looks like he's made out of shit and he has no personality bumps into things let's let's stop bad mouth the best thing in the movie yeah the best thing in the movie is the chimp blacksmith who will Kylo Ren's mask back together and I was like more of this please. Like the craziest thing is that he's just a normal chimp. This is like just a regular

chimp that they trained to do this because they because here's the thing about chimps. Finally after 300 episodes we're finally getting to the thing about chips. And this is something that I just learned this year. Chimps, you can teach him how to smoke cigarettes. But then, you don't have to. But try and get them from the top. And then you can get them to do anything. Because the trick is, they don't have the right thumbs to light a lighter.

So they need you to light that cigarette. So it's not that they're trained to smoke cigarettes it's that you can train them to do anything else you want so as long as you keep supplying them with smokes sorry for landing because that's one of the worst things I've ever heard it's terrible but almost as terrible as learning that all the first-order stoopers who are massacred on mass are we're kidnapped as children and abused and forced to become structures I mean the most like it's so crazy that he, that JJ Abrams, who wrote the, who put together the first movie

and then is doing the final movie, that he introduced a, he introduced Finn, who is a like a stormtrooper who we find out is like enslaved and forced to become a stormtrooper, like a child soldier. Yeah. And he breaks himself free and his arc was not to liberate them in like a revolution. It's for him to go and blow him up. Yeah. And well, that's the, I mean, this, the story for this was also partly based on the Colin Trevor O movie that didn't get made,

it seems. And as we know from the book of Henry, he has some interesting ideas about childhood. And like how children are supposed to be done anything with. But the else just that like, and like how children are supposed to be done anything with, but it puts such a weird cast on the movie. And again, jumping ahead, that the main character is struggling with whether or not to kill the evilest man in the universe who can shoot spaceship destroying lightning out of his hands. That's crazy.

We're always going on there. But people who are forced to become soldiers, it's like kill them all. Just kill them all. Wipe them out out exterminate them I like it made me really like feel gross about Star Wars in general, but okay, but like how was he shooting so much lighting was it cuz he was hooked up to the How razor tooth all the drain that power of the dyad because Kylo Ren and Ray have a special friendship

Yeah, they're the way when you're when you have a special relationship like we do with great bread The way when you're when you have a special relationship like we do with Great Britain Okay, he trades that so anyway, here's the plot break quickly the emperors back how they do it He's got magic powers. He just didn't he's got a planet of Sith that just sit around in cloaks in a stadium Weeding for him to become all powerful and he's attached to like a big metal gantry like Cameron Hodg and Genotian It's like it's like the weight means it's gonna be so good when something happens. It's tantric force if I guess. And he tells Kylo Ren, hey, I want you to bring Raid to me.

There's a secret blah, blah, blah. And instantly you're like, oh, is he like her dad or a grandpa or something? Because that would be dumb, but I guess that's exactly what it is. To find this secret Sith planet, you need a Wayfinder, which is a magic triforce type of triangle. So the heroes of the movie have to find this Wayfinder,

which means finding a magic dagger, which means finding, so they can find the, which has inscribed on it, the information where the Wayfinder is, and then they find the way there. To do also the part where Ray uses her magic powers to heal the angry snake. No, well, because to get the dragon, they've got to go to a desert planet that is not Tatooine or Jakku.

It's a different desert planet where there is some kind of burning man, alien worship ceremony, which was one of the few things in the movie where I was like, okay, this is great. There's something I've never seen in Star Wars before. And they leave it very quickly after a little girl gives Ray a lay and asks her her family name and she says, oh, I don't have one. I was really hoping that little girl gives Ray a lay and asked her her family name and she says, oh, I don't have one. I was really hoping that little girl was going to ask for money. And Ray then heals a sandworm that is wounded.

Wait, were there already a space towel in the middle of the movie? We skipped a lot. But the reason I like the sandworm was all like, oh, they did manage to get some dude in this store worse. She should be riding that sandworm. Well, but they also used to be a spice trader apparently. Well, but they're all spice traders. Like Han was a spice.

That was the whole thing that got him in trouble with Java. Was he dumped a shipment of spice, right? Was it specifically spice? I thought they just talked about like, you know, a job it doesn't have time for someone who dumps his cargo at the first sign of. Maybe it was in an extent, it was in an expanded universe that they called spice.

Maybe it was subscription to the spice network. I don't know. Anyway, so it is important to the universe. The thing is I didn't take notes while watching this movie because I just watched it for fun. So yeah, sure. So it's going to be this. Oh, also, uh, this is a classic floppess. Uh, screw around. Yeah, general general princess Leia has also tell us Ray with some very generic lines of dialogue that were clearly recorded before Carrie Fisher died and were then inserted into the movie that she needs to go off and do her thing like it's all I was easier on The movie then I think either of you But this was like the first huge warning sign to me that just like having Carrie Fisher stand around like obviously super

Unposed saying like whatever loose lines they had, and like, okay, let's write around these. It really shows you how much Star Wars dialogue out of context is just like generic random gibberish. Like that, you could take Yoda saying, do or do not, there is no try, and insert it into any scene. And it, like you're like, oh yeah,

a lot of the force philosophy stuff is just kind of like Listeners go ahead and do that. Yeah, just dialogue and certainly any scene from any movie. I would love to see So I'll try to go so general layas like you got a fine. There's we also have a spy We have a friend in me. There's a spider than she says rub a brand newman medley, which is I mean fine I guess most of it's pretty good. I think short people didn't age well. I mean, if it was a joke at the time. Yeah, I mean, even I love LA, because LA has changed quite so much over the period. So yeah, you don't know if he still loves LA

or if that relationship's cool a little bit. Yeah, exactly. And so, but there's a spy in the first order who's telling them all this stuff, the Emperor's thing. I wonder who it could be. Is it the Emperor? Is it Kylo Ren? Who knows?

It has to be one of the three speaking characters. So you see that the Emperor Kylo Ren hooks or... Or... Well, they were... Richard E. Grant as New Bed guy who's always been there. And the Emperor is like, oh, I've always been around. Snoke was just my puppet and I'm like, well, Snoke was less a puppet than a crappy CGI effect.

I did think it... Not crappy. I should say. I should say. I should say. I should say. I should say. I should say. effect. So I did think it like yeah we should be sleeping back and forth but Andy circus is listening right now super mad at the performance is not the problem of snow the problem is that there was no reason for that to be a CGI character in the first place. Well, but I arguably true. I also accept his face was really gross. That's the thing because there's never been a gross character with practical inside part even though you're looking at the outside of you's Jonah hex here's the thing like

Okay defense no, no, I'm not I'm not going to I'm just gonna say like the so Obviously we're in Star Wars. Yeah, well world full of Galaxy Galaxy full of great crazy aliens interesting stuff to see great crazy aliens, interesting stuff to see. Yeah, well, Brazilians, we call them Brazilians. Crayola Brazilians. Brazilians, raisins that are. They have raisins, raisins, raisins, raisinets. But the thing is, you have these great aliens, right?

And palpatine is not one of them. Yeah, Brazilians, we call them great aliens. Palpatine looks like an Earthling, even though he comes from whatever planet. Palpatine looks like an element of man got a little bit of work done. Well, no, but he's like, he's like a normal man. Not all the work done.

He's a normal man who like Dorian Gray style has gotten super gross because he's evil, right? Yeah, I'm pretty sure because Mace Windu reflected his force lining into his face. That's when his face got all wacky. That was one of the funnier parts that prequels to me when they're like, wait, you feel like you have to explain

how he got old? Yeah, I love that. That it wasn't the ravages of time. Oh, man. I just think it's funny. That's a good one. When they revealed that Snoke is a puppet, and then later on on the planet, there's

these tubes full of like, glowed, snokes, like we're at the end of Alien Resurrection. And I'm like, OK, that's fun, because it reminds me of how weird Alien Resurrection was. But why is Palpatine like cloning this made up, Snoke character as like a non like this other alien who's not, doesn't look like, I don't know, very confusing to me. Yeah, it doesn't. It's because it's dumb, bring Palpatine back to dumb idea. Since Palpatine could essentially be a, Snoke could have just been Palpatine with his

cloak off. And it's like, what? I mean, normal looking Palpatine. No one, like if he was like normal, how many people saw the emperor? Was he appearing in ads? They didn't even say his name was Palpatine in the original three movies.

Yeah, because it's a dumb name. So anyway, they certainly don't call him sheave at any point, which is his first name. Well, also the revelation later on that The revelation that Palpatine had a family which is also kind of crazy, but so So this spy is telling them that Palpatine's back somehow as post says to the rebels Palpatine's back somehow and the Palpatine's back all right. He says Everybody we got to rock your body Palpatine's back. All right, he says. Everybody, we've got to rock your body.

Palpatine's back. So they're going to go on a quest. Who's going to go on this mission? Oh, all our favorite heroes. Po, Ray, Finn, C3BO, Chubaka, not so fast, R2D2. Yes, you're arguably the most lovable character in the entire series. But it's time for BB8 to get in.

I did feel kind of like, this was like, okay, this is another Grover Elmo situation. Exactly my thought. I was when you're old enough and you're like, the fuck's with all this Elmo's Grover's the star, who's or it like... And they're like, well, and somebody needs to take care of RGD2, Rose,

you stay back. Rose, arguably the second most interesting character from the new movies, you stay over here. First most interesting character, of course being that champ blacksmith that we see in the beginning, fixing Kyla Ren's helmet. But like that, it was in the Muppets,

we're at the end, what's the name Walter? Yes, the phrase frame. And it's like, Kermits being here the whole fucking time. The glue that holds the Muppets together. Which also means that later. I, you know, if I was ever responsible for this sort of thing, I don't think I would ever leave Dan alone in a room with Walter.

We don't. Yeah. He's just your fang, and you run in and Dan is shoving a gun into Walter's hand and going, I don't know, you said something about not being worthy and you shot himself in the head. Yeah. Dan, why are there powder burns on your hands? Oh, well, I was wrestling with them with the gun to try to get him to stop.

Why is there a knife in his back also with your fingerprint sign? Why is the handle of the gun have a monogram to the real McCoy written on it? It's okay, we can re-stuff him. No, I threw the stuffing down the toilet. She was what he wanted. In his last moment, he told me there was his last wish. Because that's the magic element that brings them up in his life is the stuffing.

So they're going to go on this. But that was the, when the Emperor turned back, I was like, came back, I was like, all right, well, not crazy about that. But what I really turned on the movie was when they said, art to do too. That's over. Not for you, buddy. And it was like, did Kenny Baker ask for too much money? Like, I don't understand. So they're going to go on this mission. And the fact that

Chewbacca's with them means that later on, I feel like most likely what happened is that one commenter on Reddit was like, I don't like RGG2 anymore. And JJ's like, okay, okay, anything. Maybe as the most beloved character, R2 is the designated survivor. Okay, that's fair. That's fair. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, that's a simple occasion.

No, R2, you need to stay here for future Star Wars adventures. It should all be in that comeback. That's also why when they finally reveal his voice, it's key for someone, right? Who is the most lovable lost voice? Certainly the most lovable southerlings, Donald. I respect you more, but you're hard to love.

You're a little cold. So they go to a possema. That's the planet where there's a big like burning man party. And they are, oh, some short troopers find them, but one of the stormtroopers gets shot with a crossbow bolt who could it be a masked stranger who turns out to be, it's a old buddy, Lando. And I'm just going to say this, it was exciting to see Billy Dee Williams again, but he is an old man.

And so there's something about having all these older characters coming back. And there's a part of the end where I think Wedge shows up again in a fighter jet. And I was like, these guys are a little old to be in a real real world they would not be on the front lines of this galactic battle. Now a little peak behind the scenes. This was the point. Now you were on the scene you were on the set when they shot that. And Billy D Williams was a perfect gentleman. I mean he seems to be a delight, a treasure. I love his work like he's great and when he's in the movie it's like I love having him around in the movie. But I kept thinking, oh, this isn't Lando,

this is Billy D Williams. Like, the same way as when I went spoiler alert, Han Solo appears in a scene, and I was like, this is Harrison Ford, this is not Han Solo. Like they didn't feel like characters to me. No, I just wanted to say like, behind the scenes of me watching this.

Oh, okay. So not really behind the scenes, someone's in front of the screen. This was the moment that I had picked to run to the restroom and when I came back- Is he not needing a chalupa during the first part of the movie? When I came back, my girlfriend who has said- Just a moment. Stop mentioning me on the podcast.

No, she said- No, she said- She was like Harvey Dent showed up for some reason? No, no, this is a side thing. I up for some reason? No, no, no. This is a side thing. I'm going to just call her by her name, which is Audrey from now on, because she's like, you can use my name on the podcast originally. She was like, maybe some privacy.

Now she's like, she said to you, call me by your name. And you were like, Dan, they're not going to have fun time out with me or you? Well, we both realized that me like referring to my girlfriend. It's pretty tough, right? That's pretty good. He's only had one movie to his head. I mean, the author's only wrote a sequel since then. It was more that at age 41, me referring to my girlfriend,

it sounded like I was a high schooler pretending to have a girlfriend. It was a lot like when Uncle Owen in Star Wars Episode 2 attacked the clowns like, hey, this is my girlfriend, Baroo, and you're like, what the fuck? So girlfriend is the thing that's really distracting. The point is, so I come back from the bathroom and I see that that lando was on screen

and I'm like, and she's like, you missed it. And I'm like, oh, you'll explain later. And then I ask, oh, after the movie, I'm like, oh, what happened when lando showed up and she's like, eh, you didn't miss anything. Not really. So you saw on the theaters? I did see on the theaters.

I watched the, I did not get to see it in the theaters due to various holiday scheduling difficulties. But luckily, as a writer's guild awards voter, I received a digital screener that was watermarked just for me, which meant my name, Elliot Kaylen, was burned into the screen the entirety of the movie. Oh, cool. It's still like you were in Star Wars. Finally, I was living my dream of being in Star Wars,

but it had to be this Star War. Anyway. It's a monkey's paw, if you wish. So again, if it was the monkey's paw, by which I mean the chimp that was Wales, the world's in that Hell of a picture. It's like that piece of my great ace paw. So Lando saves them and is like, hey, the wayfinders

probably over there, oh, not the Wayfinder is probably at this place. You need to find this knife that belonged to an assassin named Ochi, right? And here's his ship and his droid, and what was the droid's name? The droid is like, it's like a traffic cone on a pole on top of a ball. Oh, like a wheel. Let's just call it Luxo Jr. Yeah. It didn't feel like it wanted out of a Pixar short.

And the whole time was like, this droid is weird. Like, I don't understand the purpose. And I would kept waiting for the moment when this droid would like have a plot purpose. Like, it would reveal a piece of information or it would save someone the last minute or it would kill someone the other. It's not a plot purpose eventually.

What, I don't remember. Like, it had like the knowledge of a thing, right? Like, it was like oh It knew where the thing was I forget like the We said earlier it's like we lead to the one thing. Oh wait. We need another thing now We need a third thing, but like there was a point where like oh, we don't know where Whoever is and that's right and that's, we got to talk to this droid. I think he's got something important to say.

So this is right around where like they sink in the quick sand and fans like, hey, Ray, I got to tell you something. Oh, and then we never find out what that is. No, I don't know if you'll like. She battles some first order dudes. Oh, and she saves that sandworm. She heals, there's a wounded sandworm that looks like it's going to attack her, attack them, but she uses the force, and this is important.

We learn the force can heal people. Hold on. I mean, I learned that the day before I watched it when I was watching the Mandalorian in Baby Yoda use the same power. Well, I haven't seen the Mandalorian yet. But that's why they released that episode early, so fans wouldn't be like, this is bullshit.

So the healing stuff is important to the plot, but I do also want to get into like a little bit of the background of the sandworm. No, of the, like, I need to tell you something. They make spice. I need to tell you something, thanks. Is this a real background of the movie? This is real background.

When you were watching the movie. Because, like, on the internet, if you look into this thing, like on wookiepedia, twitter, or twitter. Well, twitter, they. What about cookiepedia? Cookiepedia is about how cookies are now sometimes Oh man, just bring the bottle over here Stewart and maybe like a bowl of ice That's what we need to get through this yeah, just

No, um, what we're talking about oh, so we're talking about rent Finn is like Ray. I got to tell you something Ray I got to swallow it up by, like, there's a lot of discussion about what this is on the internet. And people are like, oh, you know, he was gonna say, he loves her, which is the most obvious, like, interpretation of what's going on. And maybe a thing that you would say when you were dying. But according to the internet,

some fan talked to JJ Abrams at a thing and JJ was like, no, no. He was going to say that he's for sensitive, which to me, the weirdest fucking thing to say while you were dying quicksand, right, right, before we die, you know, I also have the force. And then they get, then they get bullied if we expand. Yeah, so that's crazy. I think, I mean, that actually was my guess, that that's what he was going to say, that like, I can do, I can do it. I think I mean that actually was my guess that that's what he was gonna say that like I can do I don't know but so we realized that he's not nearly as special as she is because in a second she gets in a what a

Tug of War with a Transport ship with Kylo Ren so Kylo Ren has arrived there with his his bat his special select group of baddies who we never really see them do much the nights of Ren which they like especially after the last Jedi where we had those throne room dude who was amazing that was great these guys are just like some chokers with like shovels and axes and stuff they just kind of loom around and they keep showing up in the background to be a threat but we know and they show up and they're chasing after and Ray and Kylo Ren have the first of several fights during the movie. And in this one, there's a transport ship

that has Chubaka with this magic dagger that has the information of where the wayfinder is. And that and it's written in Sith. And C3PO understands Sith, but he has been programmed never to translate it because it's an evil language. So they need the dagger and they need Chubaka. they need the dagger because of the information and they need to block it because he's great. And then they need to get the galaxy's greatest hacker to hack that information. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait when you get in when you kill a drug you kill a world but uh they're fighting over this transport ship using the force so happy to see DJ Kuala show up later anyway and Ray uh and

Ray the dark side of her gets out of control and shoots out a white an emperor style lightning bolt at this transport ship and blows it up and everyone's like no Chubaka you killed him next scene Chubaka's fine he was on a different What? There was a brief moment where I was like, I was not expecting this to happen. And then they those hopes were dashed. It would have been a genuinely shocking death for Chubaka. It would be a genuinely traumatic moment for her that because the dark side of her came out and she lost control, she killed a friend. Someone who is who has been a heart, one of the hearts of the rebellion for years. But instead they're're like, tricked ya, and then later on, she's like,

Chubac is okay, and they're like, how do you know? She goes, he must have been a different transport ship. And I was like, then why did you think he was in that transport ship? Like, what was the point of all that? But also, she doesn't really give a shit about the real, the other people she killed on that transport ship. Also, it was kind of like, like this stormtrooper sort of like,

okay, Ray's looking the other direction for a second. Let's hustle Chubac over to the ship. They'll play trick on her. Kyler is like, that this stormtrooper sort of like, okay, Ray is looking at the direction for a second. Let's hustle shim tobacco over to the side of your ship. They'll play a trick on her. Kyler is like, that's how I'm a little bit of the old misdirection. And this suddenly is a card in his hand. He puts his hand down. He has a rabbit in the other hand. You guys are on decoy duty. Like, wait a minute. I don't want to be on decoy duty. What they saw was Don King and a huge fur coat being hustled in the transport ship, they thought it was Chubaka. Anyway, they have to go and rescue Chubaka and...

Oh no, first they go to Kajimi, which is a plan. They go to Kajimi. And they're like, you're so great. You were so great in King of the Hill. You're so great in the sister act movies. Like, you're just a treasure. She's like, oh, thank you. Well, I'm just a modest person. You know, I don't deal with praise well.

And they're like, look, Kathy and the Jimmy know. You are really great. And she's like, I told you, I don't deal with praise well. And you just said, I was just going to say swing and fist. So, yes, yeah. I mean, everyone in this movie, someone on Twitter pointed out to me that the stormtroopers frequently give the heroes a chance to surrender and the heroes kill at first sight when they see stormtroopers. Yeah, like everyone's first instinct in this movie, if you're a hero is to shoot immediately and just murder away through the galaxy, but they go to Kajimi, which is because there's someone.

Even when they find that wounded sandworm, I think Finn's like killed that fucking thing. They are bloodthirsty. Poe is like we got to go find the best hacker in the universe. He's on Kajimi. But uh-oh, I have some bad blood for me on Kajimi. And of course they run into the one person that he has a bad experience with. And that's played by... uh, Carrie Russell. Carrie Russell in a almost entirely masked performance, which I means I think it's just her voice. Yeah, it is. Well, she pulls her visor up and it's like, I was like, I know that voice. Who is it? Who is it? And then she put her visor up and I saw her impeccable eye makeup. I'm like,

that's Miss Carrie Russell. And then Dan looked at both his hands and he's like, this movie has two carries. I mean, also, you know, it's a J.J. Abrams movie. So him having carry Russell makes perfect sense. I'm not saying she's not wonderful. I love carry Russell. She's great. But I thought that you wouldn't be like, she's a great, wonderful actress.

Let's take a helmet on her the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. This character is, of course, named Zory Bliss, because why not? And this character does not need to exist. There is no reason to do it. I thought this character saw cats yesterday,

so I think that I'm particularly in the right mood to find funny names. Even funny here. Yeah, I mean, this could just be based on speculation. I've read on the internet, but it seems like this character was introduced mainly to give a hint of a heterosexual love interest for Poe to take the fan assumption that Poe and Finn or Poe, as I just called them,

as being the favorite set form of Boobief Soup, as being the ideal romantic relationship. Now, all they could have had is just them not kiss, Po and Finn, and that would have been fine. And allow the people who would like to maybe see the representation of a gay relationship, have that head candidate they like to. Yeah, sure.

I mean, they could still have it. Po could easily be by or you know, or you know, carry Russell could be his beard. That's, there's always that chance. That's true. I mean, they could still have it. Poca easily be by or you know, carry Russell could be as beard. That's there's always that chance. That's true. I mean, she in a way she was a helmet. She I mean, I guess we don't know if she has a beard. Look, she was on the Americans home of lots of wigs and beards. So I have to just familiar with the beard.

The American homes of wigs and beards. People are like, let's let show about it. Like you should see it. It's about the craziest ways of the craziest bears. So they're gonna go and do this thing. Meanwhile, Kylo Ren and Ray, we've established they can talk to each other through the force throughout the universe. We didn't mention, there is a character that I like this movie a lot.

He's introduced in this scene. His name's Bob Ufrick. He's a tiny little hacker. He's a tiny hacker who sometimes speaks in a crazy alien language and sometimes just speaks with a heavy access. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's pretty fun. No, Bob. My second favorite new character after Blacksmith Chim. Uh-huh. Because he also like exists in a like there's no subtext Bob Ufrick like he's just he's all in. Yeah. And later on Zory shows up as part of this giant fleet

of volunteer fighters. And Bobu just pops up and and cop it and is like, hey, hey, so you got strapped in. So when she does turns and bow rolls, you just fly around the cockpit and slamming it to the instruments. He's like a little ghouly though. He is a lot better.

He's gonna pop up out of a toilet. Yeah, I'm sure when the creature design team got together, they're like, give me 90% more gooey. So, what is it about Bob who freaked out that you particularly like? Well, I like it. He does a work. I mean, it's, I mean, Minga character small and weird is always best, and he wears like a little hat.

Yeah. No, he doesn't have a shirt though, right? He doesn't have a shirt, and he's He doesn't have a shirt and he's, everybody is really impressed with him, but they're also annoyed by him. It seems like an old pro too. Like, you know, he'll get the job done, but you might get a little irritated.

Yeah, there's a lot of mud on those tires, you know what I mean? I'm not a little bit of, he's a little bit like Yoda that way. It's like he's the best, which means he's allowed to be eccentric, but there's also a little bit of battle toad in his visual. I'm as like that too. He's also kind of like a little bit of battle toad in his visual. And I think that too. He's also kind of like a little bit like the IT guy who's a little annoyed at you that

you don't understand the technology as well as he does. That's fair. Yeah, I mean, there was a brief moment when I was watching a Star War and I saw a character that wasn't Baby Yoda and I was like, I like that character. I want to say here though, but this connection between Ray and Kylo Ren, there's a lot of the last Jedi erasure in this movie that's much more egregious than this. But I did watch that part where they're connected and talking to each other and like, okay, wait, hold on, I thought in the last Jedi, the fact they had a connection was just

something Snoke was doing to make to like, to fool them into thinking, like, to, like, bring her to him that, like, he might be redeemed or whatever. And this movie is like, no, no, no, no, they really have that. Not only do they really have that, they can also transport objects through this force action. Yes. Which I thought was pretty, we was like, as long as I don't try to think about the science of it, I thought was a really cool thing. Like, I thought he was in a fun where they're like having fights and they're like, yeah, shit. And they use it in neat ways.

Like, he knows she's in his office because that Darth Vader helmet shows up or like the first time that happens, he snatches the flower necklace from around her neck and she's like, oh, well, like. That's why that girl gave it to her. Yeah, that's the only reason. It's to establish that physical connection.

But I thought that was kind of a neat thing, but it also means that apparently anyone with the force can talk to anybody, because later on Princess Lay is like, hold on, let me send a telegram to my son, Kylo. Well, speaking of that, later on when Luke does a major thing with a force that affects the real living human world human world like granted the seats for that was we're Planted by Yoda in the last Jedi movie. I like a lot more than this one, but I am kind of like okay, so Ghost Jedi's can do anything normal Jedi's can do and

They're just kind of hanging out in the ghost dimension being like you guys take care of it yourself Luke didn't just show up in the ghost dimension You mentioned being like, you guys take care of it yourself. Like Ghost Luke didn't just show up for me. I'm just like, Ghost Luke didn't just show up at Emperor Palpatine's house and like smother him with a pillow. Exactly. Just like unplug his little machine. Yeah, come here.

Yeah, come here. And the thing that Ghost Luke does is he just raises his old X-Wing out of the water and you're like, finally dude, I've been waiting for you to be able to do that forever. That's just digabum, man. I couldn't do this till I was dead. Then I really figured out how to lift X-wings with the players. Like the funny thing is like, yeah, sure. That's a kind of like, I guess a fun payoff for Empire,

but I like it. I think it was like, that fucking thing's been down there for 30 years dude. Like, it's not gonna fly anywhere. Well, this is... If that's the thing you're picking apart in the movie, then maybe Star Wars is not for you. Yeah. Yeah. Dead Pilots Society brings you exclusive readings of comedy pilots that were never made,

featuring actors like Pat and Oswald. So the vampire from the future sleeps in the dude studio during the day, and they hunt exclusive readings of comedy pilots that were never made, featuring actors like Pat and Oswald. So the vampire from the future sleeps in the dude studio during the day and they hunt monsters at night, it's blade meets the odd couple. Adam Scott and Jane Levy. Come on, Corey. She's too serious, too business-y. She doesn't know the hokey-poky.

She'll learn what it's all about. LAUGHTER Busy Phillips and Dave Kackner. Maybe this is family. My uncle tell who showed his wiener to Cinderella at Disneyland is family. Do you want him staying with us? He did stay with us for three months! And he was a delight!

A new pilot every month, only on Dead Pilots Society for maximum fun. Hi everybody, my name is Justin McElroy. I'm Sydney McElroy. We're both doctors and- Nope, just me. Okay, well Sydney's a doctor and I'm a medical enthusiast and we create solbos and some oral turf misguided medicine.

Every week I dig through the annals of medical history to bring you the wildest, grossest, sometimes dumbest, tales of ways we've tried to treat people throughout history. And lately we do a lot of modern fake medicine because everything's a disaster, but it's slightly less of a disaster every Friday, right here at MaxBomFund.org, as we bring you solvones and metal to your misguided medicine. And remember, don't drill a hole in your head. I mean, this is a movie where they tried to hide a man from the most evil, most powerful man in the universe and didn't bother to change the baby's last name. And they took him to his, they took him to, so let's, so you're an evil, you're an evil man.

They want to hide your baby from you. They take you to your family's house and your home planet and they don't change the last name Let's just call this the X-wing that broke the camel's back All right, I mean you to be fair if you put an X-wing on a camel's back that camel's back is breaking I was rolling they may be the ships of the desert but they cannot hold a spaceship I was rolling with so much of this movie and you like Raise the X-wing out of the water and I went And put my hands up and Audrey's like what? You know what you put your hands up because they were playing your song and the butterflies blew away

But so because it was a party in the USA on that weird. What's that planet where Luke was just living tended by those nuns? And he would just run he was drinking tinny milk. He was drinking up soo smoking. It was a whole planet. He was like on a specific island. The island was on a planet dude. I know. Like, Dan, the island was floating in space like the little prince was living there with

his one chair. I get it. This islander. Like Thanos is weird, like meteorite in the, like, in the, like, in the, like, in the building. We're just as just floating And he's floating through, yeah. So okay, they have to get the information from C3 Bill's mind to do it. They have to wipe his memory.

And that was a genuinely affecting moment where he's like, oh, he's giving this up. This is the first time C3 Bill has been like, I'm gonna make the choice to really sacrifice myself for the rebellion. Again, this would have been a really fitting and kind of surprising death for a main character. Don't worry, R2 just brings a back later and it's totally cool.

But didn't see the videos in the cloud. Didn't he get his memory wiped at the end of Revenge of the Sith as well? Yes. He doesn't remember the details of Anakin's wedding. Well, the wedding was such a debacle. Oh, God. Guys, this is a total exciting, but I have to tell you we watched this Christmas Netflix movie

I was on like hulu or something actually it was like it was called correcting Christmas or something It was like a sliding door scenario where like she goes back in time to like to save Jesus Back in time to the previous Christmas Where she like had broken up with her old like like fiance. Okay. Or How she broke up with her boyfriend. How old was he? Okay. She broke up with me. It was the end of Nicole's mystery. She was very old. She broke up with her previous boyfriend. Sorry, because she thought he was gonna propose on Christmas and he didn't and then she regretted it, so she went back, but she learned obviously she was supposed

to be with her best friend the whole time. Oh. But the hilarious thing is, a lie that has ruined the friendships of many young men and girls. Yeah, no, that's... Because the men assume that the girl will eventually become their lover.

But the whole point of all this is like, the movie does one of those like flash forward things where like, okay, the mystical stuff is done. We're in the present day again. And now like the two of them are like married. And this is revealed by the guy being like, oh, you left your ring by the sink. I want you to put it on because I don't like all those guys hanging on you. And Audrey's like, they took her back and they didn't get to see the proposal.

Like the fucking like fairy godmother character like skipped over that part. She doesn't get to have her proposal. What the fuck? Yeah, and this is like a romance movie. That's the only reason these movies exist is for like the climax to like they come there like finally together. It's as true as it is relevant toward discussion of Star Wars the Rise of Skywalker. It's similar to how my wife recently read a thriller and part of the mystery or thriller hinged on the idea

of one woman letting another woman borrow her mascara. It seems like that would never happen. Adults don't do that. It goes in your eyeball. So make a long story short.k kilo tells Ray the truth you're a palpatine You're the granddaughter of the emperor and she's like ew so the emperor had sex with somebody and had a baby And we're like yeah, we don't want to think about it. I mean like how long ago was that? I mean it would have been he was a senator probably she was like she's what like 25 I

Have no idea and her her parents were like, I mean Lucas, she's like 25. Lucas, like 50 years ago. So that's about when Yoda and Yaddle were presumably having sex to create baby Yoda. You're right. Possibly, I mean, I don't want to think about that either.

Once again, I have a red, red wookie pd. I have you, Dandy, you know. So when Yoda has sex, is Yoda sex talking that same backward syntax, or no? Uh, what? Is he like, coming, I am. I don't know. I don't know.

Cool, yeah, yeah, that's how, uh, yeah. No, weirdly enough, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when he does, when and he is all business. So it's not like right there touch me.

You know that? I'm not fucking around. It's never bad, Yoda to come out. Yep. Okay, so. He's super nervous. I don't like the rest of it. I don't like that.

I still don't like that at all. I don't like it. It's the windpipe you do to the sides of the neck. No, I don't like it. It's not okay. It's all consensual. No, no. I mean, this brings back something that I think I mentioned a lot years ago in this podcast,

which is the idea of having a, having a significant other who's a Jedi and they give you a force job, even in public, even if you're across the room, then they can pleasure you because no one knows. They're just moving their hands. So it's like if Garth Ennis wrote a fucking Star Wars comic. So okay, the whole, the Emperor wants ray for some reason. We don't know. It turns out that General Hux is the mole in the first order and he helped save Poe and Finn and Chewbacca and he's like, I'm the spy and they shoot him in the knee and he gets caught almost instantly and is executed for treason.

Uh huh. Which while, yeah, I guess that was kind of funny how he got blasted across the room and it was a surprise. Once again, this is another character that I guess that was kind of funny how he got blasted across the room and it was a surprise Once again, this is another character that I felt like was given short shrift like Hux was one of the more fun parts of the last movie and the in the in the force awakens He's being built up as the bad guy and I'm also the winner the two dude bad dudes. I mean what a yeah Good actor to that guy, every different movie, I'm like, it's the same man.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and he's standing right next to Evan Drimer, who I guess is the best actor of his generation, right? I mean, to be honest, this movie has, it has them, it has Richard E. Grant. Like, there's a lot of really great actors. Ian McDermott.

I mean, I, look, Daisy Ridley, like, if this might not be our best Star Wars movie but she's amazing. She does something that actors are great. She does something that makes sense but I thought was really funny which she has a lot of like athlete motions. So like there's a part where she's got to run into the ocean or something and she's like she goes like like read that and shakes her head the way that like an athlete does before they runs and then later on she like is light sabering and shakes her head the way that like an athlete does before they runs. And then later on, she like is light sabering and she, her wrist hurts a little bit and she

has this like, ah, look on her face that tennis players get sometimes. And I was like, it is a totally valid choice as a performance. I also think it's kind of funny that she's playing Rey as like a Jedi athlete. But I think like that's not something I had not seen before with these characters. Like that was a neat way to do it. Long story short, they go to the planet where the Death Star crashed. There's a whole tribe of extramed troopers there who ride around on alien horses. They have no personalities whatsoever. Finn instantly becomes best friends with one who I'm learning the name of his name to Jana. I did not know her name during the movie. And it feels like the movie rode off Rose so they could give at least to me felt like they

could give Finn a new, sexier love interest. Maybe. Like one that is dressed at least more scary. Well, and I don't want to like look, this is, these are murky waters and I don't want to like call anyone out unnecessarily. I don't want to say anything weird But it did like I did feel weird watching it where they're just like no no no no thin like let's give you a black love And no, no, I mean that that did strike me to that it was eventually that it was like yeah

Yeah, yeah, well, we have to pair him up with a black character. Yeah, and but they're what at the same time though There was something genuinely exciting to me at the end where Land spoiler or what's more like? Everything land. Oh and them is flying the million Falcon and he saves the two of them and they're all together And somehow they're gripping the top of the million Falcon as it swoops and dives through that space They were I was like this ship has only black characters on it and it is really exciting to me that this scene is all black characters So there's a thin line between it feeling like really exciting to me that this scene is all black characters. So there's a thin line between it feeling like tokenism where you have to line up black people, black people.

And it being exciting that it's like, okay, there's more people of color in Star Wars. It's not just Lando and it's not just Ula. Those are not the only two people in Max Rebo. There's not the only characters of color. The Star Wars universe now, you know, blue gree and then so forth. But it felt weird at the moment.

Until that moment, it felt weird to me that it was like that they were doing that. But anyway, long story short, they go to the Death Star. I guess what Ray sees herself as a Sith and has a fight with herself. And Sith version has like cool scary teeth, right? Cool scary sharp teeth and a double headed lightsaber that she can also separate out,

which was explained to me today by a seven year old as maybe it had magnets in the base. That's how we get it. That's a good way to explain that. Seven year old part of the insane cloud bossy or. He was like, I don't know how they work, but no, no. This seven year old is not an insane cloud. Anyway, a rational cloud.

He's a very rational cloud. His name is professor pickles He is a clown with a PhD His speedy did his study and fitting as many clowns into a car as possible He figured out the the mathematics equation that explains the physics of how you can fit so many clowns into a car they call it pickles theorem and so the They so Kylo Ren and has another slight saber fight with Ray and Print general princess lay it. This is also they've been told oh the Emperor is gonna attack the whole universe with his fleet of

Star Destroyers in 16 hours. We better get a move on then they have an adventure that must take three days But anyway General princess lay is like this is a good time for me to reach out to my son We never talk anymore and she sends a force message across the universe to him. So she's a lot like me when I've her, I need to actually call someone on the phone. I like have to get my whole environment set up. I'm like, everybody leave the room.

I'm in the room. And she distracts me. Lights him in sense. She distracts Kylo just enough for Ray to mortally wound him. But then just like he was a regular old sandbar. Once again, this is a moment where I'm like, oh wow, I wasn't expecting this to happen. No, and she heals him using her sandworm healing powers. And then Rey goes to...

Yeah, because he's a lot like a sandworm, right? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. The Rey goes to where it looks. I guess when the lights are out, everyone's a sandworm. Yeah, I mean, I don't know that the ray goes to where it looks Everyone's a sandwich late late ray goes to Luke's old house Anyway ghost Luke is like hey you should take layas old lightsaber you're doing good go up to the emperor and kick him in the nuts Here's my own wet here's my next wing. I lived it out of the water for. And Kylo Ren has a conversation with not the ghost of that his memory of Han Solo. Where Han Solo is like, hey, you could be a good guy. And Kylo Ren throws his lightsaber away and starts calling himself Ben again, right?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. His name is Ben Solo. I gotta say, like there's- And Palpatine is like, mm, it's been a while since I've been in the movie. Blow up Kojimi with a super laser. Maybe it was just because I like singing Harrison Ford again, because I have so much so much affection for that dude. Because you like seeing him and being like,

I bet he hates this. Yeah, but like, I just like... I imagine just one of those things where they were like, we'll pay you any amount of money and he's like, don't bother about the money. I'm gonna make some weird requests, and I'm gonna see if it's worth it to you to make me have it. So you heard of IIs? Yeah, they're these little weird primates. I'm gonna see if it's worth it to you to make me have it. So you heard of IIs.

Yeah, they're these little weird primates. I want you to go get me one. They're very hard to find and they're endangered. It's illegal to move them out of the rainforest. And also again, they're very hard to find. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I've always wanted to pet IIs. So you better get me one in two days.

No, you know what, 36 hours. And then I'll be in your store or. And so JJ Brums is hacking through the jungle at night mind you. It's an optional animal until you can find and trap an eye and hand a deliberate to Harrison Ford I mean, when I'm gonna Google this afterwards Hackers when he brings it no Yeah, yeah

And when he brings it to Harrison Ford Harris Ford's like cool. I changed my mind. I don't want it anymore So here's now you got to go to numbers two through ten on my check list. Okay. What I wanted to say before it's before that. Yeah, star random hearts. No, no. And 67 nights. That's 67 nights. And the Frisco kid. All you regarding Henry. Star of Firewall. Yeah. No wonder he is such a deep place in your heart. He was in what was that movie that we watched with the the lesser Hemsworth where he was like a hacker or something. Oh place in your heart. He was in what was that movie that we watched with the lesser Hemsworth where he was like a hacker or something? Oh

Shit, what was that called? Probably code breakers Yeah, but the thing I wanted to say about this was like so like look I was I was talking to Audrey about like George Lucas and this This whole fucking Shabang of Star Wars. Yeah, this thing we call Star Wars. And I wanna make it clear, like, she's not like a Star Wars fan. She saw like these movies, like, like the original trilogy for the first time this year.

So like, this is not like me dance planning to her. She was curious about this. I mean, I might still be you, Dan. I might still be my Dan. But she seemed genuinely interested. Perhaps she was just being nice. But like, George Lucas, I was saying that, I was saying that he had this idea of, okay, I'm gonna make these, like,

rhyming trilogies. I want the movies to rhyme in these different ways, which, in effect, in these new movies, has led to, like, even though he's not been involved in them, that spirit lives on and it's just like retread certain plot points or certain things in these new movies. And at its worst, you get movies like The Force Awakens or This One, which like, The Force Awakens I like.

The first half of Force Awakens, I really liked a lot. Yeah. But they like borrow so much from the old movies that it seems like less like rhyming and more like just a retread. Just a retreading, yeah. But there are ways of doing parallel scenes that work well and for me, just for me, like I kind of enjoyed this parallel scene with Harrison Ford where it's like, okay, Kylo Ren is replaying the moment where he killed his father. He's had a different place in his life. He's confused. And this time, he makes the moral choice instead and throws his lights every way.

No, I thought this was one of the scenes that worked best for me. Yeah, for that reason. And it helps that like Adam Driver is a genuinely good actor. Adam Driver is a great actor. good actor Adam drivers a great actor Harris boards a great actor like they have and this moment has a lot of emotion Frated to it that is real human emotion. Yeah He is a man who killed his father and betrayed his mother's dreams for him and like that's a real human thing as opposed to Your grandfather is an evil wizard and wants to steal your body to make you the ultimate avatar of evil. That is not a human emotion and that's not something I can tell you.

Your mother is Villanelle from Killing Eve. That's gotta be hard. She's always trying to kill Eve. I don't know. I watch the first season like we get with it. You're right that like at a certain point rhyming becomes repeating. And this was one of the scenes where it was like, and it would have done better for me

if it didn't feel at times like the movie was like, hey, we'll bring him back all your old pals. Come on, they're all here. You like these characters, right? Like, come on, bring them in. Like, I was half-waiting for like, Jabba the Hut to show up and tell somebody that he was there, dad, and like,

yeah. Like, like, it's like, it's like, it's like, no but to show up and tell a new cyborg, like, hey, you gotta do it for the rebellion, you know? It's like the... It's like, George, like, ducks his head in her frame and goes gump and then... It's like that.

It's like that scene near the end of Labyrinth where in those weird, pack-rat monsters keep me like, oh, you like this thing? You can't, oh, you want this, take that. Yeah, exactly. What an interesting commentary on nostalgia. Thank you, Labyrinth. Thank you for that, and the sexual awakening of millions.

So they destroy that planet. C3PO, he gets his memory back from RGD2, and they all go to, they follow Ray on her trip, too. Because Ray now has a wayfinder that helps you get to Exogall, the evil Sith planet that nobody ever knew about before. It's not even the first mystery planet in Star Wars because Geonosis, right? Oh no, what was, no, Ferrari Carrera? What was the planet where they were making the clones?

Camino? Camino Borealis. Camino Borealis. Yeah, because it was deleted from the Jedi dictionary by Cipho DS. Well, I also know Star Wars has always been dumb. I also know. I used to find it funny that like, you know, like all of the Star Wars planets had one type of ecosystem.

Yeah, but it's no forest desert or city life. That's not. Like, entirely crazy. Like, obviously, they're planets out there that are like the same thing all through the planet. I mean, those are planets that have as far as we know, have it is life Yeah, but it's also like this this plan I feel like bumps it up to the next level where it's like not only is this plan like this type But like only this type of people live there

Sorting has put like all the slither in on this planet. Yeah, they're like this planet is naturally an evil habitat So we're like equal kids we get to go to the same classes. But now you have me thinking there's like an ecosystem of like, we're bunny rabbit. We're like rubbing their hands together and hopping away into the into the trees. So they, they all go, yeah, they have a, they have a lightning-based economy. There's this fleet of Sardis warriors that's already there, which most of them were there already, but then the back from the rest of your suit Didn't they like squirt out of the fucking ground like little plants like that? I mean a Star Destroyer wouldn't survive being in like they're not in

Like the gravity well type ships right they can be in atmosphere. Well, but here's the way too heavy They're way too heavy. They're way too heavy. But they would destroy all sorts of stuff. But also, they've just been floating in the air idling for days, it seems. And that's one against the law. You can't idle for more than 15 minutes,

I think, in New York City. But also, like... Also, there's a film sheet going on there. They're shooting the rise of Skywalker. They can't park there. Yeah. But what if they see the orange cones in the sky? But it's like, they're just kind of hanging around waiting.

And there's something about it where I was like, I can't tell if this is a really cool image or if it's really dumb. And it was like, if this was like a Yoderavsky Mobius comic, I'd be like, this is really cool. This endless sky of this dreadnought juggernaut ships. But here it was like, so are they gonna do anything endless sky of just hugely, this dreadnought, juggernaut ships. But here it was like, so are they gonna do anything

or is the emperor just gonna look at him and masturbate at all these ships that he's got? Like, it kinda does, right? It does kinda, and the emperor is just kinda like, hangin' a- Nice job, you're squirtin' lightning up there. So that's what it is he's ejaculating lightning. The emperor also is like, just hanging around,

doing nothing, and it's one of these things where it's like, so what is the emperor doing to pass the hours while he's ejaculated lighting. The emperor also is like, just hanging around doing nothing and it's one of these things where it's like, so what is the emperor doing to pass the hours while he's just hanging around on this, and this, you're not. You should have like warm up comic shit for that assembled craft. Oh, here's from Mexico. Oh, you, the thing about jedis is,

that means somebody, okay, we can hear this. I love to see him doing crowd work. That'd be so amazing. So Ray I can't wait to hear this. I love to see him doing crowd work. That be so amazing. So Ray shows up and he's like, you want to kill me? Good. That's what I want to. When you kill me, let me explain it's a little crazy.

When you kill me, my spirit will go into you and with me comes all the siths. So you'll be the most powerful sith and you'll be the Empress of the Universe, but it will be really me inside of you. And I know it's going to creepy that I'm a grandpa and I want to get inside my granddaughter. That's it's weird. Yes, it's but it's me just I can hear it. There's this cool story by Lovecraft. It's one of the less Not so cool ones if you know what I mean It's a weird plan and it also doesn't feel very star-warsy. It feels very magical and like to put it, not to put it, this kind of point on it,

but literally, it's pointing at me like he's about to shoot me with four or something. I mean, it feels star-warsy in that it is a complete exact retread of the end of Return of the Jedi. Where's it? Yes, yes, your anger strikes me down. No, no, but there, but there the assumption was, you're gonna turn evil and that's gonna be good for me.

Whereas here, it's like, you're gonna turn evil, but then I'm gonna enter your body and you're gonna have, you're gonna be possessed by the souls of the Sith. But also, it was one of those things where it was like, so like she can, so you can never, it's a real convenient thing for the bad guy to say, to be like, if you kill me, I'm gonna win. So it goes, you can't stop me. And it's like's a real convenient thing for the bad guy to say to be like if you kill me

Yeah, I'm gonna win. So I guess you can't stop me and it's like I wish you did I'm gonna community I had there are two ways I wanted her to end this which are none of one was for her to be like Bullshit and then kill him and he'll be like oh I was lying My love my love You're a little girl the first Jedi ever to think of that But the other one was he keeps saying if you kill me out of hate And then he's pointing at her her friends in the sky who have who have appeared and are fighting these ships and are all dying

And he's destroying them with lightning bolts and he's like you can't say if you want to save your friends You got to kill me, but then I'm gonna win look at this isn't it a real catch 22 Yes, we have that novel in this universe And I wanted her this is if I had been writing this movie Which I was not I would have wanted her to say him to be like you can't you you can't kill me out of anger and for her to say like Sound the better friends and be like I'm not killing you out of anger I'm killing you out of love and then just chop his head off Well, that was like I was like waiting for that moment and instead Kylo shows up and he's like

Now I'm gonna feast on your friendship and it was like wait what how many rules are you making? Also like I don't want to leap ahead but I'm going to There's not that much of the movie like like this goes on for a long time. How it comes back and like Whatever like what you said you said Kylo not Kyle because of Kyle Katarn show I would have like yes Great Should happen yeah dash render showed up and helped out at the end They're like they're like yes all the LucasArts games are officially can and now Will will what full throttle and then full throttle of grim fan dango show up here's Sam and Max they hit the road to Star Wars

Maybe act mansion is here Here's Sam and Max, they hit the road to Star Wars. Lady Aghman, did you see her? Indiana Jones, you found it late. We're gonna, I'm gonna... Well, that runs me, that great Star Wars comic, where the Millennium Falcon crash lands on Earth thousands of years ago. And then in Chubaka becomes the, becomes a big foot.

And Indiana Jones stumbles on this old spaceship with a skeleton in it and he's like, hmm, this is weird. I was like, what a great story. Harrison Ford finds his own dead body. Yeah. Um, I want to, I want to loop, we can loop back and get the stuff that I,

I'm skipping over and kill our loopers, yeah. When I'm skipping, you can get the stuff I'm skipping over. But eventually like Ray, spoiler alert, kills Palpatine by basically reflecting his zaps back at him. And I'm just like, okay, that's the loophole in this. You can't strike me not an anchor, but if I'm angrily zapping you and you reflected at me,

then everything's cool. And the thing that got me was she was like, yeah, I can't kill someone an anchor, even if he's the evilest man in the world I guess I'll just cold blooded to kill all these child soldiers that are in armor. They have masks So I can't see their faces. They're not people to me. Yeah, anyway, Poe Dameron He's like we got to get it. There's a bunch of crap about how they use a general at this point, right? He's a general. I want to call him general dameron Sorry

right he's a general might want to come general dammit i'm sorry so i'm the respect the right to respect the main holds they like they're they've got this they got to destroy a transmitter because the star destroyers can't not crash into each other that's transmitter and they he's like we'll send out a message for all the volunteers we're going to done correct this we're going to have a fleet of civilian ships come in but nobody's showing up and i also love that i love that they they also made a point of being like,

in the last movie, we tried to get people to show up, but they wouldn't, because the movie wasn't as good. Me. And the- I mean, the charitable look. Look, there is a charitable interpretation, which is, you have to try and get everyone to show up in the last movie and them not come for to pay off

in the movie that they do. I didn't take that as necessarily coming the last one, but it did what bothered me was, they all show up and he's like, they did it, we did it. I am the greatest. Take that dead Laura Dern. I'm the greatest, but then they show up and Richardy Grant, who I love, he says, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

he says, what are these ships? They don't have a fleet and his second and command goes it's not a fleet. It's just people and I was like movie Richard II grant is a person the Emperor is a person when it comes down to it all the strong troopers are people the bad guys are also people So like you have now set up a dichotomy where the rebels are good because I guess they don't have uniforms Whereas the bad guys are inhuman and can just be just civilians and Elliott then say they don't they are then here's what they should said they should have said uh... it should they don't have a fleet and the second man should have said I suppose they do now

and then you don't bring up this question my mind of like so I guess the bad guys can be killed with impunity because they're not human beings they're just they're just monsters well you're the thing. I was gonna say which is like I know how much you love that moment. Well, no, I know I know this is a I know this is a rip off I mean, it's not a rip off like it's a rip off of Dunkirk the real thing that happens You've seen it in plenty of movies. You've seen it in life in Dunkirk, but like I mean, I wasn't there. I wasn't on the beach. You're a time where I was on the beach. You're on a time where Michael and Bill and Ted took me back to look at some shit for clients. What I'm going to say is this movie comes so soon

on the heels of Avengers Endgame, where the same thing happened. And it was so much more powerful for me in Avengers Endgame. Yes. And I think partly because other than Lando and... You get to see Ant-Man, giant man, puncha, flying spaceworm. I mean, that's always my favorite thing in any of the Avengers movies is seeing him as giant man.

When, when in Civil War, when he grows giant man and ripped the wing off of plane, I was like, this is why I went to see this movie. Exactly. I didn't know it was happening, but I always want to see this. Except Elliott, he has the strength of a man when he's small. is why I went to see this movie. I didn't know what was happening, but I always want to see this except Elliott. He has the strength of a man when he's small. Why does he have the strength of a superman when he's big? Because his muscles are huge.

Also, Dan, if that's the thing. If it's molecules are further apart. Dan, these movies are also asking you to believe that the Norse mythology is the one true religion because we've seen those gods, and we know that that is the underworld that exists. So if you're willing to buy that, then maybe you can buy that this guy

gets super strong when he's trying it. And it also, it's also posits the idea that Benedict Cumberbatch's character is actually speaking with a normal New York accent, which that's a crazy accent guy. It is crazy. I did want to say though, even though it was scooped by Avengers,

and even though this is like a cheap moment designed to make me emotional, I did get a little emotional when everyone showed me. I think I would have gotten more emotional if there were more characters that I was seeing that were not new to this movie. I don't really care if Carrie Russell shows up at the end. That is not a character that has not been built up for me. Lando, we saw already earlier in the movie, so it's not a big surprise.

We get to see Wedge. Wedge is coming, baby. Great, Wedge, fantastic. And but like, there was a, I was trying to think, why is it so affecting to me in end game? And even in end game, there was a part where, at a certain point, it was just like, don't forget me, boss.

And what about me, boss? No, we're boss. But I think it was because one movie ago, we had seen a lot of those characters die, but also that those movies were spaced out just in a different way, and I felt like it was weird because it's like, oh, I feel like the Marvel movies, it was like we're seeing all these characters that have been built up over years, all in one scene for the first time. But with Star Wars, I was like, I should be feeling that too. These are characters

I've seen for my entire life, except that for some of the, I was like, I should be feeling that too. These are characters I've seen for all my entire life, except that for some of the, I think they ruined some of the impact by having like having land show up, having Han show up, having Leia playing such a big part up to then having Luke already have shown up. It was like the idea of all these characters coming back was not as exciting. We've already seen them come back in that movie, you know, so I don't know. I could be wrong, but for some reason it just didn't have the same thing. Maybe I just don't know how you square that circle because you wanna see those characters come back earlier

in the story than like at the very last moment. I think you, I think you, I mean, part of it is just dig deep and get some more characters. Why is it moment A down that there? Where's Dengar? Come on, bring them all back. We're salacious grumbi, because we laughing is full head off, come on.

Anyway, while there, now that there's a lot of ships, it's the law. I was mad there wasn't a scene where BB-8 got to beat the shit out of BB-9E. I mean, I was mad that Artu barely came back. Like, if there's every character I wanted to see play a big part, it's Artu. Instead, BB-8 has one moment. Artu, like, has a moment where he gets zapped and posed using him in his ship and I was like, Po, since where are you in Artu like best buds? Like your VB8s do. I mean, I already mentioned this that they pushed the release of an episode of the Mandalorian up so that they could show off a force power.

So fans wouldn't see it for the first time in the movie and get mad. But I was kind of bummed that like, man, Carl, whether you should have shown up or Gina Carano or baby, well, baby Yoda, of course. If baby Yoda showed up flying a plane at the end, that would have been amazing. I would have thrown somebody else's popcorn in the year, I wasn't even popcorn at that point. Can't take calories in the morning.

Dash, Rendar should have been there, yeah. And if they were rendered exactly as they were in the morning. Dash Rendar should have been there. Oh, yeah, yeah. And if they were rendered exactly as they were in the original video game. Marijade is there, just his text. But I think the, I don't know, for some reason it just didn't. And because of the law. General Grievous was there. I mean, he's dead, but sure, they're all coming back.

Yeah, why not? I think the law of movie plot means that when it's time for the good guys to win, all the bad guys super machines are suddenly incredibly vulnerable. So a couple shots just takes out their big plan to destroy Spaceship Dicks. Meanwhile, Ray is effectively killed by the Emperor, right? And who shows up, Kylo Ren, he's a good guy now, he fights all of his Knights of Ren, which we don't get to see that much of.

Yeah, they're, they're boring. And he, he shows up and oh no, that's when it's like, oh, your friendship is so powerful. You are this fabled Jedi friendship that only appears once in a thousand years. It's like, it's called love, Palpatine. And it happens all the time. Like, oh, maybe it's weird to you.

And he sucks their friendship out. That's when he gets super powerful. And what happens? Like Kylo Ren, like Ray does the thing where she has two lightsavers and she reflects the lightning bolts back at him and he dissolves in his dreams. No, but before the happens, she calls on the power

of all the Jedi's that came before her. Oh, right. So she is. Oh, then they're all like, I'm with you. Here with you, I am too. Like that kind of stuff. It's me, Kei-Ani-Mondi. I mean, you hear Mace Windu for a moment, right? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. And you probably hear like that kind of stuff. It made Kei any moondy. I mean, you hear Mace Windu for a moment, right?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, and you probably hear like that. And he's like fucking king of reflecting shit on Sidious, right? Sidious, here's that voice and he's like, fuck, I'm gonna need a new face. Get this, those there. Yeah, and I have to assume Kyle Katarn because he became a Jedi in the second game.

And so they're all there and and you try, I forgot. Alcanane, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. She calls on all that. Whatever the character I named and Knights of the Old Republic. And Kulik Eldroma is there, yeah, sure. And Ray uses that to deflect it with the lightsabers, and she did a great job of getting across something

that no actor is trained to do which is they're like okay now you have to pretend you're pushing against something really hard and it's made out of force bolts or whatever. No actor, Mimes Elliott. They've been training their whole life. Now I wish you had been taking Mime training earlier in the movie and it came into effect here and the lightning dissolves palpatine and all and the planet starts to it releases a huge thing of energy which kills all of his followers and it's like like again that was like a thousand people and I guess maybe they're will talk that up to palpatine's casualties I don't know I

kind of feel like that's right as they're dying they're all like it was worth the way. This is the show. And Ray is like, oh, I'm dead now. And Kylo Ren is like, I learned a thing or two about force healing. And he brings her back to life in the kiss, and then Kylo dies. And then he dies. And you know he's dead for real, because he disappears and his clothes fall to the ground.

Because that's how a real Jedi dies, Dan. I learned that watching the Dark Crystal. Yeah. And now they blow up the bad guy's spaceship. Now that the Ampers dead, I'm not a huge fan of the Amper showing back up in this movie. I think it's really dumb that he shows up. They wait to reveal him until the very last movie.

And he's, I don't know, it's just stupid. I mean, I don't know if I would have preferred. I don't know if I think it's cool that like he's a physical body. I wish if he was a physical body, they played up more the idea that he was a clone and specifically that like because he's a Sith, he can't live on after death like he's obsessed with like, like, unlike a Jedi, he can't, he can't come back as a ghost. Yeah, transferring his consciousness to bodies or if or if I think he should have just been a weird spirit that they couldn't fight but is more this like feeling of darkness, but I don't know.

I think those are both super great values to do it. I've been on the record I think before I was saying I don't I've never liked the Emperor as a character. I feel like he tips it too far from iconic, legendary status into child's fairy tale status. And I just don't buy that this huge, intergalactic empire is run by a great-be old wizard man who uses like a twisted black cane. Yeah, what about that part at the end of the Phantom Menace where he's like, oh, Mr. Skywalker,

I'll be watching you with extreme interests or whatever the fuck he says. You're like, she, if you fucking dirty dog, I know you're up to you. The, it's what I think it feels like such a, yeah, it's just a disappointment when you see him show up in the beginning, cause it's like,

Are you texting all your friends about him for a palpateen right now? Absolutely. That was a whole mess. It's like, it feels texting all your friends about him for a palpateen right now? Absolutely. That was a whole list of fun. It feels like you should, you're really paying close attention to texting during the recording, that it's a, that they should,

they should, the opening call should be like, episode nine. It is a time of lack of imagination in the universe. The Emperor's back. We couldn't think of a better time. Doesn't it open with like, episode nine, the Dead Speak? Something like that, yeah.

Well, I mean, because they're referring to the fact that of course if you've been playing the video game Fortnite you would have heard messages from emperor Palpatine Well, that's the thing like if they had started the movie with these mysterious messages that say they're from Palpatine And it's a mystery whether he's actually back or not. I think that would have been really cool There's something really disappointing about him just showing up in the first scene. I's like, hey, suck, Kylo, it's me, palp. Mom back, buh-buddy. That was a thing like that opening scene.

I was like, uh-oh. Like the movie gets off on the wrong foot. And it's partly because it's like, there's no, like I don't want a lot of mystery from a stories movie, but I want like storytelling, you know. I do feel like the trilogy. That's a rough explanation. I shouldn't say that. The trilogy writes itself into kind of a weird place, and I don't know what to do about it because like, look, like for me, Kylo Ren is actually one of the best things about

the new trilogy. Yeah, I like him a lot. Like, Adam Driver's Great in the role, and it's an interesting conception of the role. Like, we've seen like the conflict of bad guy before, but only like kind of at the end of the dark Darth Vader, the Darth Vader arc. Dark, dark, dark vapor is the bootleg toy that you find. Like in a street fear next to a socks. It's interesting to see like the whole arc of these movies.

Like he is like this emo guy who's trying really hard to be bad, even though something's pulling him good and that's interesting but you do write yourself into a corner and I wonder how this last movie would go if someone else did it where like you need someone to be the actual bad guy of the movie but you don't necessarily want that to be Kylo Ren because he's such a complex like character at that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't think I feel like you could have done this move, obviously this is stupid that I'm doing this like backseat. I'm trying to rewrite a fucking Star Wars move right now.

And also, these movies are incredibly hard to make. There's a lot of expectations on them. And this is scheduled to hit. Like it's hard. Yeah, I'm clear. That's part of the thing that felt, I felt strongest about was how rushed the whole thing felt more than any of the other Star Wars. Which is strange because Force Awakens I know they really had to rush. Like the release date was announced and they had,

I don't know what, a year and a half to make that movie from start of scripting to finish a production and then release and that comes together, but that I guess that's being carried along by the excitement of new things and old things. Yeah. And it's hard to have a combination that really is like, that falls up. But anyway, you were saying I interrupted you. No, like, I mean, I feel like you, if the focus of the movie was on Ray and Kylo's relationship, and Kylo is now

in charge of this whole fucking big army, and then you have the idea of like a mysterious message from Palpatine is it from Palpatine or not and that pushes both of them like it Kylos obviously angry that somebody else is like claiming to be the supreme dark side dude So he starts acting out and it for as a confrontation between the two of them and then Over the course of that he realizes that you know, whatever. He's not about you know, whatever. He's a good He's a good dude. And that hooks is the real bad guy. Here's the way I would have done it.

Okay. He's just a one one of many ways. This is backseat. I was, I'm gonna be, this is a little segment I'm gonna call backseat Adam Driver, where I tell you how I would have done it. His, he start off, there's these, it's Kylo Ren and Rey have this weird kind of relationship,

but they are also the leaders of enemy forces. And like you're saying, Kylo Ren is struggling with this dark side aspect of him. And because we're struggling with the light side aspect of him, he wants to be a bad guy. It's because to be a bad guy is to be emotionally invulnerable. And to be a good guy is to open yourself up to feelings like love and insecurity and relying on other people. And he can't abide that. He can't abide the weakness inside himself that all people have.

So he wants to be Darth Vader who he believes had no weakness because he doesn't know that Darth Vader went, no, we found out that his wife had passed. And that Darth Vader was the- Oh, it was my girlfriend. That the Darth Vader was the weakest thing of all. It did be dead. But anyway, so these mysterious messages start appearing,

I don't know, over the radio or something, or to force sensitive people all over the galaxy, because we've established in the last movie, there are people are force sensitive all over. Little boys can use the force to put brooms in their hands, and if a little boy can put a broom on his hands, then we can make a pencil out of leaves, yeah. And so.

Ellie is like, Ellie knows how to pitch to his off-year song. Like you like this, right? So what happens next? See what happens next get a load of the see if this grabs you so they and they're so they're battling and Kylo Ren is getting more

and more distracted by trying to figure out who this palpatine guy is and and the the heroes are like well we if palpatine's back obviously he's the real villain we gotta go after him and I would have it turn out at the end that Kylo Ren has is a basically a split

personality and he's been making this happen. The dark side of him is if anything disgusted with the light side of him and is trying to pull away and if either goad him into being worse or create some sort of force and per-entry like you're talking about. And so the way that Kylo Ren can defeat this, and this makes a more of a Kylo Ren movie than a Ray movie. You'd have to come up with what Rey's plot is, is that he is figuring out that he is not a slave, basically, to the dark side of his passions and things like that.

But I would so much more like that would play into the duality of it somewhat. But, and then you can focus on these characters instead of just like, don't bullshit. And instead of sending Rey and her pals on a treasure hunt to find like one item after another. But that, I think, because that was part of what bugged me about the movie

was it didn't feel like it was about the characters in the movie. Like Star Wars, you could say, has them a guffin in it. It's got the Death Star plans. But it's very clearly this is a movie about like Luke's journey and then it becomes about Hans' journey too and it becomes a little bit about Leia's journey. And they both, they all have trauma to deal with. Leia loses her entire planet.

Luke loses a friend that he had made a couple days ago. And- Luke loses his surrogate parents' eldest. Yeah, and also, he doesn't like them. That's what it is, and it's not cool. Well, no, he doesn't like- The thing doesn't mean he doesn't like the whole town.

He doesn't want to see like, I don't want to see my parents roasted by Sam people. That's Stormtroopers dad. That's true. Who pretend to be saying to be saying sorry and they prefer to be called Tuscan Raiders. Same people as a negative term. But this movie it kind of felt like. Stormtroopers never actually shoot people right? It's the one time stroke. Well, Stormtroopers can shoot civilians. That's what they're good at. They can set a non-planable hut on fire.

And so it was like, they were trying to make this story. So millions armor class is much lower, so it's easier to hit them. They were trying to make this story about Ray kind of finding herself. Who is she and who does she belong to? And rejecting this legacy of evil, but it never quite felt like it was built around the character that we've come to know. I don't know. It felt like at points where the character should have been about to go.

I just love the continuing message that you can only have force powers. Let's see your parents. Yeah, let's wrap this all up though. Just like the very end of the actual movie, the semaphis. At the end of the movie, everyone's celebrating. We did it. Yay. And this was the biggest piece of stupid fan service is that someone hands to baka a metal like here you go you got one finally

and I was like wow they're really closing the loop on this thing that happened at the end of the first movie and I said I had to pause the movie because I was watching a deal screener and call my wife or an over and go this was the dumbest moment they're like finally we rectified the historic crime of Chubaka and not getting a medal. And then Danielle's like, could I go to sleep now? No, stay awake. The next thing you're going to see is somebody slapped the cuffs on Aza Mandeus. The only thing that would have made that scene more ridiculous to me is if they gave him

the cowardly lion's medal from the Wizard of Oz, it's just a courage and big letters. So then Ray goes to you. They translate Chubach as Yal. It says, this looks fake. courage and big letters. So then and Ray goes to the translate to Bog as yell. This looks he takes a bite and there's chocolate. So Ray goes to Tatooine to Luke's old home. I'm sure it's the real set, which is really there still in Tunisia being devoured by the desert slowly over time. And because Jedi have no bodies to bury and their

ghost just hang around to talk to you anyway. So why bother? She buries Luke and Leia's lightsabers, or is it Kylo Ren? And I don't remember who's light to her, is it? Oh, it says yes, Luke and Larry. And then Luke and Leia's ghosts are like, thanks, pal. And then someone's like, then an old lady

was just wandering by with her amazing beast of birds. She's awesome, man. And she's like, oh, who are you? We don't get many strangers around these parts. These names only please. What's your name? She goes, Ray Skywalker. And I wanted, and like I get that she's taking

on that mantle, but I wanted Luke's ghost to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second. What, not a second. We're the woman to be horrified. Hold on. Wait a minute, like Anakin Skywalker Darth Vader guards kill Skywalker who mayor who killed his aunt and uncle you know you look Skywalker who kissed his sister

on the lips once I want to see you mean the people in touch we think Luke killed his aunt uncle and then skip town that's a totally valid reading what I want to love it is a boasters for Luke all over Most I think space where he committed the worst crime and an uncle size when he was seen in the company of an old man who chopped off the arm of one of her Upstanding so this this boy below this girl grown up He seemed like such a quiet boy. He kept shooting wampers, but that's normal right? All we know yeah, he seemed like such a quiet boy. He kept shooting wamperas, but that's no more, right? Oh, we know, yeah, he killed animals as a youth.

He never wanted to do his chores, so I was hanging out with those losers at Tashi Station. Next thing we know, his house is on fire. His aunt and uncle who only loved him are dead. He's run away, we're in just a karate geek. With a crazy old man who lived out in the desert, we heard they jumped ship with a pirate and a bear dog. Ha, ha, ha, ha. After going to a CD spacer bar, oh that Luke Skywalker, he is bad news.

That is a totally valid reading for the local Tatooine gossips. Okay, that all being said, the Tatooine Tatler, we've been up to. That all- The book, it comes in the most nicely petty safer Blind item which legubrious hut was seen Iying a certain six breasted dancer Mmm our lips are sealed And it's my garrinden. It's the tattooing tatler by garrinden that all being said

that all being said for me like I know I know that which Mandalorian bounty on Derliss scene yucking it up with those twin ladies that hang out of the bar for the post the they'll post the picture when Han steps on job is tail and they're like a job of the nut sources tell me that figurine to add in the modal notes may be breaking up. More recording a new album, I guess time will tell. I will say, for me, even though I know that that woman wandering by and asking Ray's name is the most egregious set up for an emotional moment, I did find the very end of this movie, moving like the idea that Ray,

who like so, so found it important to like think about who her parents were, was like sort of disappointed to find out maybe that, like, well like felt like spend so much time thinking that her parents were bad people. And when she was, when we're first introduced to her,

she has nobody. Yes, she has no one in the world. She is totally alone. Yes. And then like, things are parents are bad. People then finds that they were like killed because they were protecting her from a bad person. And then had these like real people in her life

that were surrogate parent figures to her. I did find it moving that she took on their name. And we can leave aside the fact that her surrogate father and surrogate mother are siblings. Sure. In the weirdness. I don't like, yes, you know what? And they got blasted Harry Potter style. That's Anna of Green Gables. And I can't find fault with that because Anne surrogate parents eventually are basically Marilla and

what's uh oh I can't remember the I read the book so long that's anyway the brother and sister who who take her in and then and then they become kind of her her family you know after being the lightsaber she she have a cool lightsaber anymore Dan she has another lightsaber this you apparently built herself cool it's like white I guess what it's got kind of a dial on it a cool new lightsaber the skin apparently built herself it's like white I guess it's got kind of a dial on it a cool new lightsaber it's like a hipster retro rotary lightsaber so I think yeah

Dan I think you were moved more by this movie than I was I think I found it more to be honest like boring and it's the first time counting the pre even even including the prequels and including solo where I was watching the Star Wars movie and I was like, uh, Like I'm kind of done with this Yeah, like by the third time Kylo Ren and Rere were about to lightsaber I was like are we gonna watch them lightsaber fight again? And I felt bad because I was like there's real fight choreography going into this the actors look like they really worked hard at it Everybody's doing their best, but I'm just gonna like Yeah, the inner grandma and you kicked in and you're like,

oh, there are so many people worked hard. I mean, I'm just so glad that so many people made a paycheck on this. Guys, look, look, this is a, this is a flop house after dark as we've decided. I've certainly been swearing up a storm. We're not, I haven't been wearing pants at all. Yeah.

So how is it different than usual? It's very rousing. Well, the, I think I've decided we've gone as long as the normal episode, just talking about the movie. We're not going to bother with the thing that we should do normally. We're not going to bother with any of these strange stuff. We're just going to kind of end it here. But like, I do think we should do final judgments whether it's a good bad movie, a bad bad

movie, a movie kind of like Elliot. You're kind of in it already. Yeah. You're soaking in it. Ugh. What? What do you have to say about it? Uh, I mean, I don't, it's kind of not one of those things for me.

It's which is that I didn't like it, but I didn't hate it. It was the first time I saw a Star Wars movie and I was indifferent to it. And maybe that's because Star Wars is not as important to me as it once was because I have other responsibilities in my life. I think I've talked about on Star Wars Minute how when I was younger, the Star Wars universe was a universe that I could know about becoming an authority on really feel ownership over when the real world felt mysterious and alienating and isolating to me.

And over time, that has been replaced by the real world becoming more warm and isolating to me. And over time that has been replaced by the real world becoming more warm and welcoming to me, but also like my love of actual history. And it's kind of, when I'm so mad about James Buchanan and Andrew Johnson, it's hard for me to get as mad about like Emperor Palpatine. But it's the first time I ever watch a stars movie and I was like, ah, I'm kind of not feeling anything.

You know, it's like what happens when you run into it and ex boyfriend, girlfriend, or other relationship person. And you're like, And it's like you, I'm trying to cover all bases. And you run into them at a party or on the street or something and you're like, Hey, how's it going?

And you're talking to them and you're like, I feel no emotions for this person. I had this experience where I ran into an ex girlfriend and I was like, this is someone that I felt like I was in love with She broke up with me and it devastated me and now I'm meeting her and I'm like, oh this is just a person I have no entanglements with this person whatsoever and when I leave this moment I will have it might as well have not have happened. Yeah, you didn't immediately queue up like hug and touch and squeeze and by Journey on your iPod. I did not do that and so that's what this star wars felt like to me

It was like oh, maybe I don't have the relationship with with this franchise that I felt like I did until Episode 10 Solace's Crom and Den Garz wild adventure. Yeah, who's Solace's Crom? Question mark and it's him with the big like section cups outside of a building. Yeah, let's I mean that two things style Yeah, let's I mean that two things style poster t-shirt has got to be made. I know man Yeah, let's okay I'll let Stuart close us out with negativity because I know that that's where it's gonna go But no, let me go first. I'm saying I'll let you close out with negativity. I'm gonna say That it's weird for me to like try and like play the maturity card because

Elliott has two children that he's racing and Stewart has a successful small business but I am the oldest so I will say that I feel like I do have this I have reached a point in my life where I'm just like okay Star Wars is a thing it was my young love I will always in some part of my heart my life where I'm just like, okay, Star Wars is a thing. It was my young love. I will always, in some part of my heart, love it. And I'm excited for a new Star War. But watching this, like, you know, I know that watching this is not going to ruin what Star Wars means to me.

So I can enjoy it just as like- You did it in your One Man Show, what Star Wars means to me on Broadway now. I can just enjoy it as a thing that washes over me that like- Well one man show on Broadway. There, let me finish my thing. Like there are things that I like about it, things I didn't like about it. Like this is definitely the weakest non-prequel movie for me. And um, but I kind of just like, you know, I had fun.

I, my, my, my expectations were reduced. I have brought up Audrey a lot in this podcast, but I think it's interesting because she only watched Star Wars this year to like talk about her reaction. Last Jedi was her favorite of all of them. And I think that's because it brought like sort of shades of gray into the Star Wars universe. How many? No, I'm like, more than 49 or less than 51.

It's suggested that there's maybe more to this. It's suggesting that there's... So no, you shades of gray wherever you go. The more you find out, the less you know. It's suggested that there No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, complexity might mean more to you. And I also understand that like I'm a white male 41 year old and like she is a Filipino female 32 year old and thus like maybe the last Jedi like carries more meaning for her in the sense that like if she's seeing it all this year

like to see so much of it undone By this movie is like more of a slap in the face necessarily than to me who is just like, you know what? I've seen Star Wars come and I've seen Star Wars go and this is one of them and that's the old man at the Transational well always be another star war coming down the tracks. Yeah, it's like this is the worst of the new trilogy, but I do look at it and I'm like, okay, well, this might be the worst. I think it's fucking enraging that Rose's sideline the way it is. It's annoying that Ray is suddenly

of a significant bloodline, rather than like the messies of space trash. No, no, the message that just anyone can be a hero in this universe. Which is very much the message of the last movie. Yes. Like that is a much better message than like you have to be like a special human being or whatever race they are in space.

Like to like make a difference. Like that is a terrible message. But I do also like look back on this new trilogy and be like, oh, you know, like they've given us great characters and Ray and Finn and Rose and BB-8 and Poe. Like these are like, Bob Ufrick, Kylo Ren. Like no, but they're like, Kylo Ren's pretty cool.

They're all these like great characters in the new trilogy. So I don't know, I was happy to see them one last time. Definitely the worst of the three movies, marginally Kyloite. Yeah, sorry, I mean, sorry for stepping on that Dan. I mean, you know, it's tough when we started talking about Star Wars and telling jokes. I get all worked up. But, you know, it gets us when we started talking about Star Wars and telling jokes, I get all worked up.

But, you know, it gets us forced up. It rises. Yeah, I mean, I already mentioned this kind of earlier, but like Star Wars, one of those things that I can't really control how I feel about it, it's been like, you know, a big part of my fantasy world since I was a little kid. And so it meant that like even going to the prequels, like even knowing that they're not good, I still like them.

And every single star wars movie I saw in the theater, I remember leaving and liking. And this was the first time I was bummed, man. Like so much of it felt like it was an attempt to erase what had happened in the in the last Jedi movie that I liked quite a bit and was shocked me by actually putting in surprising stuff. And it it felt so much like a response to like try to appease appeal to critics. And like I remember when they first announced that they were going to be doing the Disney had gotten the rights and that a filmmaker other than George Lucas was going to get to make Star Wars movies and That was really exciting and that like and that excitement kind of paid off with at least the first half of force Awakens where it felt like at least JJ Abrams understood kind of what like

What was exciting about Star Wars and then seeing the last Jedi it was really great to see a skilled filmmaker and make a movie. Wow. That is a harsh thing to say. Yeah, I'm sorry. You want to write down all the great movies. JJ. Wow. Really like his mission impossible movie mission possible three. I like I like his Star Trek reboot the first one Not so much the second one. I like the first couple seasons of alias like great great movie And he's a talented Pop filmmaker who gets a lot of shit from nerds on the internet But he also does stuff like Rise of Skywalker sometimes.

So what I'm saying is that I'm not even saying he's necessarily bad, but I'm not like he's not an exciting, I don't think he's an exciting, I'm just saying, I don't find it to be the way that Ryan Johnson is an exciting artist who will bring something kind of new to the table. That's all I'm just trying to say. The thing that just through me until, through and really from the prequels is the prequels are goofy and they don't really work for me. But the prequels are constantly, even for

all the things that rhyme with the old movies, they're constantly throwing new things at you that you haven't seen. And the story works in a different way than the first three movies. And it's exciting to me, that was the disappointing thing to me about. This one was it was like, it's just not new stuff. That's why I didn't say it. And then the last one was new stuff. And two final things I wanna say that I feel like for me, the final shot, I don't necessarily dislike the final shot of the Rise of Skywalker,

but I've just kinda been worn down at that point and I was pretty bummed. But I feel like the final shot of the Rises Skywalker, but I'd just kind of been worn down at that point and I was pretty bummed. But I feel like the final shot of the last Jedi, to me, is the final shot of this, like, trilogy, like, of a young kid swinging a little, swinging a broom around like a lightsaber. That's what's all about, folks. And you know what? I kind of predicted this when they first showed the trailer for cats and They had talked about how and and I realized that cats was gonna be coming out right around the same time as the new Star Wars movie and in my heart I'm like Why am I more excited to see cats than I am to see Star Wars?

Yeah, and then spoiler alert to have that excitement pay off and be proved true Because I just saw cats. Oh man, it's crazy. What a crazy world we live in. But we'll talk more about cats next time we work with. Well, I mean, I think we can, we can tease that next time will be our first annual perhaps, cat staccular. Wow.

Wow. You didn't mention the annual part, but I mean, I feel kind of okay with it. I just flew in the idea out there. We're gonna have some special guests. We're gonna have some real Hollywood insider talk about the premiere of Gatsby. I came in almost guaranteed this will be the most gelical episode we've ever done. So sorry, first. So, so, so, so, man, it'll break my gelical app on my phone.

So, I think stay tuned for our first annual cat staccular on the flop house. But yeah, it is weird. But I think that's, I think that comes with the newness I'm talking about. Like cats is something new. I assume you didn't see cats in the theaters. I mean, cats on Broadway. No, I did when I was a kid. Oh, you did.

Yeah. So maybe it wasn't as new. Because I like, I never saw that. Oh man. So I'm excited to see the movie. Oh, I win when I was a kid. Oh, you did? Yeah. So maybe wasn't as new. Because I like, I never saw that at the show. So I'm excited to see them. I've seen the movie. Oh, I win. I win. Oh, so sweet.

Oh, summer child. I'm so excited. Because I'll see you the next couple of days, I guess. I'm so excited to see it having no expectations other than that is going to be crazy. Your only expectation is the way that Dan and Stewart are staring at you right now. And we're like whispering traits of Jellicle Cat. I have a Twitter dissension to madness. I've done over the last day of just cat's names.

I feel like I have not felt this from people since the time I almost took a Scientology stress test in a subway station and they were just like, hmm come over here and we'll use some words you've never heard before and we're very passionate about them. Yeah, and I just left you in a in a prison cell breaking a toilet next to the scene where I'm off my All right, I wish I was as strong as crazy man watching in that movie. Well, that's next time. Let's Let's let's finally put a ball on this. Okay tie it all up a laser bow just like JC Abram's to this has been another episode of the flop house you know what a regular old episode of the block is a different episode the normal so I'm just gonna say

like and subscribe or whatever whatever they sayens, those are the enemies of the vampires in the one or their TV, what's that called? fungus, likens. Anyway. So anyway, please, if you like this episode, please review us on iTunes. You like this episode? You don't like this episode? The door is right over there, sir. Please throw your phone to the ocean. You know, and save yourself.

Tell people about us. If you like us, share stuff about us. I don't know whatever To check out other podcasts on the maximum fun network there might be talking about Rise of Skullwalk or two I don't know feel like it's on the tip of everybody's tongue. Mm-hmm. Everybody is a long bib fortuna tongue Anyway, though for the flop I was his bib fortuna. I've been tan McCoy. I've been Stewart Wellington Mozing on off to the sunset bringing back that Western thing from the beginning of the episode. Well before tuna's I've been Dan McCoy I've been Stewart Wellington and mosing on off to the sunset bringing back that western thing from the beginning of the

episode well I'm Ellie Kaelin hitting the trails and saying sure you want to sure you want to hit the trails with that rumble in belly ears maybe you want a head over in a dance-low restaurant over by the crackackling Creek. I heard Dan's Crackling Creek Cafe does have the best night catfish. Winter Solstice. The nightcloth, Winter Solstice catfish. You know, it takes a brave man to go out at night and pull those catfish from that freezing Crackling Creek and fry them up for us hungry cowhands. See you next time everybody.

Bye. next time everybody bye! you look for a moment like a baby who had a thing taken from them that they didn't like mean but they were just sad to go look at my son's face all the time.