The Flop House - Ep. #302 - Cats

Episode Date: January 11, 2020

SURPRISE! It's an off-week extra episode, just because we didn't want to go ANY longer without discussing that purrfect mewowsical, directed by Tomcat Hooper: CATS! It's a show so big, we couldn't do it without the dual returns of Cats enthusiast, Jenny Jaffee, and musical theater authority, Ms. Natalie Walker who was AT THE MOTHERFUCKING CATS PREMIERE! We know that there's usually a bunch of gibberish at this point, teasing stuff from the episode, but just dive in, folks! IT'S CATS! Wikipedia synopsis of the "plot" of Cats Movies recommended in this episode: Best Worst Thing That Ever Could Have Happened Black Christmas (2019) CATS!

On this episode of the Flop House, another current release, it's Cats! That's right, it's the first annual question mark, Flop House Cat Stacular, Cat Stravaganza, with special guests, Natalie Walker and Jenny Jeffy! We're new! Yeah. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house I'm Dan McCoy. Oh hey there Dan McCoy I'm little Stewie Wellington. And over here is Big Elliott Kalen the fiercest lumberjack of the Northwest. And who do you have next to you Elliot? Sydney next to me it's Jenny Jaffy! That's right everybody, returning guest Jenny Jaffy and Dan, who's sitting next to you?

Who is it? It's Natalie Walker! I don't know, I wanted you to... We didn't practice this, Billy. No, no, no, just a legendary cat's freak. Yeah. I think it's very fitting that there are so many of us to introduce though. Yes, because each of us has a song to sing about our names and also our characteristics, which are strangely enough almost the same characteristics all the other ones of us have, but we all get our own song. And should he just be the on a podcast cat? On Paul left Hopkins the podcast guest cat. I mean he's kind of dressed like a

like a jellicle cat. All right. He's dressed like a bus to for Jones. He's a full bus to for Jones. Yeah. He goes into the tailways and says give me the full bus to for how how long are we gonna wait into the show before we start deciding which character we are. I think we have to do whatever you want to do. I'm just saying, I think I'm just doing it now, Stu. But to get it out there. Yeah, I want to get out there. It's the cat in the room.

Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty clearly a rum-tum-tugger sort. Goes with upset. That's saying, I like to think of myself as regular skimble-shanks, you know, real-weight cat. Wow, yay. And what's the name of the... You're Gus, the theater cat. Frankie, a barge cat. No, that's a Raltiger.

I have a hair character. Graltiger and he does a slant rhyme. Nope. That was such a surprise. I mean, not to jump ahead, but I was so happily surprised to see British, like, crime movie feature Ray Windstone to show up. It was a moment Ray Winstone chose a girl tiger and I was like is he gonna sing a song to me? He shows up like is he gonna kill somebody?

Yeah, I think you are very clearly Mr. Mustafa leaves the cat who at Lacks confidence, but everyone believes in you. You know what? I don't. I was going to get to this later on, so I, you know, I, but I feel like since you've slandered me with that, I need to say. Why is that slander? Mustafa leaves is the hottest one in this whole world. Yeah, but I, yeah, I got this kind of like real like nice guy energy for mr. Mustafa Trying to impress Victoria the whole time like surely if I savor from a dog she'll love me Yeah, but when he care for that when he starts like free when he starts doing his thing man

He's like flying and shit. Yeah, yeah That's you looking roses flying trombones. Okay, Dan. You know what you are? You're Munkas trap, the narrator cat who's so boring, he doesn't even get named in the mood. Oh, I'm not even sure. I'm not sure. He's not so. He could only say interesting things about other cats. That was his curse.

We just started in quality. He's also there to lead Victoria, our audience surrogate cat, gently by the hand to see the next character. I wish that she had a song where she was like, Victoria, you know, an audience surrogate cat. And I'll look at that, and I'll look at that, like that kind of thing.

What is that? Do we mention what we do on the spot, guess you have? Hold on, hold on. Natalie. Before we do that, more stuff. Yeah, before we do that. I also want to say I am Taylor Swift, just my valierina, because I just want to show up

and do one song and think I'm really sexy, but not be that good at dancing Sort of know while other people dance around me well, and I'm sort of like Giving face while doing it. Yeah, I'm actually doing a good job. She's animated strangely Oh, yeah, she's the only one with boobs And yeah, that was it was it was weird that she suddenly showed up and was like, Oh, cats can have boobs, huh? All right, I guess that was in contract. And Jenny, which cat are you? So I actually thought that you and I maybe were the mischief cat. Oh, yeah, that's true. Mungo Jerry and Roppeltees. Yeah, I had a real problem what listening to that song just because every time they said Mungo Jerry, I just kept thinking of the band that did in the summertime. And I was

like, I had to look it up later. I'm like, of course, because that's from the 70s. Mungo Jerry took its name from the T.S. Eliot poem, just like cats took those names from the T.S. that poem. But I'm like, okay, this is, this is weird. It'd be like if one of the cats was just named Led Zeppelin, right? Like many of the characters in the early issues of the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure comic book where there's a character named Aureo Speedwagon, there's a character named Dio, etc. Okay, so Dan, what are we doing this podcast now that we've talked about cat names for a little bit?

Yeah, well we'll talk about cat names for a little bit? Yeah. Well, we'll talk about the naming of cats later on, I think, too. But right now, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie. And then we talk about it. And this is a movie that's currently in theaters, and we have all seen it at least once in the theater. And we're going to be doing something a little different.

We see a bad movie and then we talk about it. Can I say that, Elliot? I didn't hear you saying. Well, you constantly don't listen to me. But um... How mongo-jerry of you. Mmm. What was I saying?

Oh, you've derailed my train. I was saying the. I was saying that I was saying that. That's why you can't be skimble shank. I was the mule shank's team to that train on the track so he can tap dance along it. At the time when cats are about an inch tall as opposed to other parts of the movie where cats are a foot tall. I saw a picture on the internet of the actor who plays skimble shanks, but it was a full-body nude, and that

guys ass cheeks are like two giant hams. Because that's a ballet dancer. Yeah. That's where his whole body, all his muscles, are in his thighs and his glutes. Yeah, which makes it a shame that they dress him up like a fucking Mario brother, right? He's one of the few cats that wears pants. I feel like it was so horny for most of it, but then I feel like there were some bodies that they were like, if we just have this guy's ass out,

it's like, we have to push it into PG-3. Yeah. So they went as far as the other directions they could because he kind of leaps into the movie like, we, he's like leaps in and he's in like so many clothes. I don't know. Yeah. I really felt like this movie was my monkey's paw He's like, leaps in and he is in like so many clubs. I really felt like this movie was my monkeys' pawwish to see Idris Elba naked. Yeah, he's moving. It's like, oh, did you want it like this?

It's not. It seems like a strange choice to me, just jumping into that that McCavity, the evil cat, who is, his trademark look is a trench coat for most of the movie. When it's time for him to do his big dance, he doesn't have it, and they're just like, uh, well, this is making him look like a naked guy with no hands. Yeah, it's really anything. Also, because the song she just said that he's a ginger cat, but then they make it eat yourself a skin tone.

And it's like, oh, I feel uncomfortable about all of this. No one is as naked as he does all of this. So how is it going to be covered in food recovery and yet incredibly naked at the same time? Yeah, he looks like he could do that move that that guy does in the Watchman TV show where he lubes himself up and slides into a gutter. So Dan, what was the thing you wanted to say? No, I just wanted to say that we're going to do things a little differently because normally one of the three of us provides the synopsis such as it is, but we have to give the power

position to our guest Natalie, who, along with being a musical theater actress herself, was at the premiere of Cats. I was at the premiere of Cats, and I have also seen the movie four times. In theaters now, I've seen it under every sort of influence that I can be under. And so I really feel like it's my time to shine. And the reason we should explain that the reason that you guys are on the podcast for this episode is that you demanded to be on the podcast for this episode. As soon as the trailer came out, we said that's what has to happen.

When the trailer came out, I think I think both of you were like we need to be on this show. I think we conspired together. I texted Natalie when the trailer came out and I was like so we're doing the flop house about this. And then I texted you and said hey make note when the when cats comes out Natalie and I are jointly guesting on flop house. Yeah. Yes. And now it was beyond all of our wildest dreams. This is a backdoor pilot from Natalie and my podcast where we only talk about cats every week.

We just go in depth on a different cat. Every single week. I would love that. We go through the entire history of the cat. I love that. Yeah. Okay, so so tell us Natalie, what is the tale We go to the entire history of the cat. I love that. OK, so tell us Natalie, what is the tale of pun intended of cats? How long is a cocktail?

That is another thing the movie could not agree on. I mean, there's so much about the size and shape of cats. I wanted to ask the before we start. Should we quiz Natalie about the premiere before or after we talk about the movie? I think maybe for those, maybe we should do the plot first. Yes, all right. And then we should talk about the premiere afterwards. Because I'm guessing you're going to, we've already spent so much time referring to things that will be utter nonsense.

Anyone who hasn't seen the movie. And anyone who hasn't seen the movie. And anyone who hasn has seen the movie and is beautiful. And to people who have seen it. OK, so we open on the sky. The only thing large enough to contain cats 2019. But what's never revealing itself to us amidst the stars? Sweetie is the face of a cat. The jellicomoon is out, baby. We've been down through London of an indeterminate time

period, according to the libretto 1939 or the present or a time in space 1939 is when T.S. Eliot wrote the cats series of movies. Because they came referring to Queen Victoria and I was like they have a car. So it can't be like really Queen Victoria time. Exactly. It's all a mishmash. And now it's 1939 and what the universe is, what the film is saying is, the greatest war in human history is a br out to break open. All walls have been suspended. Taps now have human faces at hands. They can dance the night away. Well, and everyone has left town to prepare for that war. We've only been cats. And I mean, I think we've all learned those, all those laws are meaningless because McCavity's already broken them all.

Go on. Every human law. The first thing my boyfriend said when we woke up this morning, like before anything else, he just goes, every human law, Jenny. Every law. And it's not just British laws. McCavity has broken law of every human, every human law. McCavity is to gum and sing a poor. McCavity is J.W. He went to Thailand and drew a mustache on the, every human law. McCavity is to gum in Singapore.

McCavity is J-walk. He went to Thailand and drew a mustache on a poster of the King of Thailand. Very serious over there. He set so many things on fire. He said, you know what? I bet McCavity, he was only doing it for research because he wrote one of those books

that used to sell at Scholastic Book Fairs that are like 101 crazy laws. And they're like, did you know you can't quack like a duck in bed for New York, that kind of stuff? I bet McCavney was just testing for that. Yeah. Just went through all of them. OK, so we've established that it's in London

and there's a, and the gelical moon is out. The gelical moon is out. Then a car pulls over. Someone pops out. Click, click, click, click, click, click. Go her heels. And you think those are going to be the signifiers of a human presence throughout the movie except for that most of

the cats will randomly start wearing shoes midway through. Woman swings a burlap sack around and then she hurls it into the alleyway and a bunch of cats start circling the little burlap sack. What is in the sack? What is in the sack? And then all of a sudden a little white cat jumps out. Who is this? Her name is Victoria. Natalie, I think you're doing your disservice when you just say cats. I hope you are accurately representing what slams against your eyeballs. We have to take a moment or perhaps 15 minutes to talk about the way these cats look and how it is a fundamental flaw Yeah, it is it is both the serious flaw that ruins the film and also as you said Natalie the thing that

Rockets it to the next level of euphoria that rather than people in the people in the in the show cats I've never seen the show, but I've seen pictures of it. They just look and I saw the commercials that played endlessly in the New York area. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- But instead here, I guess you would call it what? I love crafty and monstrosity. Something that is neither cat nor human, but has the worst and also sexiest qualities. It's also just like nothing can prepare you for it. Because I saw the pictures.

I'd seen like clips going in. But the first time you see it, and you're really like forced to sit and interact with it in a storytelling context, it's the most horrific thing. You just don't like every, every where you look, there's something else freakish. Like why is there so much shoulder action?

Why are there hands like that? How come they're always posed so that their butts are sticking up in the air? Like I think they're so calm that they went. They went super. You've seen a cat before. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. That is very accurate to actual cats.

But the problem is, with an actual cat, you just push that butt out of your face saying, get out of here with that. Whereas when you see sexy dancer butts being stuck in the air, you're like, this brings a different context to the whole thing that I'm not comfortable with. They apparently they had to go through some kind of cat camp

for chatting, and I think they went overboard with it. Because there's a lot of, I'm like, there are tons of cat camp for chatting and I think they went overboard with it because there's there a lot of I'm like There are tons of times in the movie where I'm like they have nailed that aspect of cat movement, but yeah, it is creepy to see a human being I It is so much like just twitching. There's also it really it made me realize that there's such a thin line between cat movements and kind of like Vogue kind of Paris's burning style like pose dancing. So I was like, I was like this is basically Paris's burning but with cats.

They're just all when they have when they have like twins doing their actual dancing. Oh yes, this, a magical ball, definitely porter in here to judge all the cats. Funny you should say that i mean don't you what if billy porter had been pulled in to play mccavidy what uh... show this would have

just roasted all of them as he was taking them as he was poofing them into dust have had like just reads on them instead of just going mccavidy Yeah, but what I've had like just reads on them instead of just going my cavity Yes, but cavity has whenever he turns a cat into dusty as a different catchphrase Yes, one is sillier than the last When he just says meow, I really think my brain Broke well my favorite is when it goes magic Just like saying the thing he's doing as he does.

Yeah, he's saying bat and turning into a bat. I think a major flaw of the movie is that it's called cats and the people look like cats and they're constantly singing about how they're cats. But the movie is like, we gotta keep convincing you that they're cats. Oh yeah. So just go, meow, meow. And put their hands behind their ear and it's like, again, at their cats. Take a break from the cats from a

when they make Jennifer has a crawl in the crowd. Ian McEllons cat performance is like he took it up a couple extra notches. Okay, he's licking up the milk. Yep. Surrey and McKellen. Yeah, lap down the milk.

Yes. The most upsetting thing I've ever seen. Can you tell me what the milk is? I'm sorry, I just want to say the, so this movie opens we have human cat hybrids walking around. And I love that like the movie does not fuck around. It immediately throws you in. They start singing this gelical song that we're going to talk about.

And like- But not the gelicals, yeah. It's experiencing that with a first time audience was so much fun to feel the energy of people realizing what they were actually doing. Oh, this is the movie. Yeah, it's so much matter that you think from the start. And I had this jaw-open look that I can only liken to the reaction shots at the end of the producers when they're watching Springtime for Hitler.

And I look over at Stuart and he has the exact same face on. And my journey with cats was like, I had about 15 minutes of that stunned face, then about like 60 or 70 minutes of hysterical laughter. And then the rest half hour of the movie I was in something close to awe. You're just in tears because you're like I've seen the face of God and it's a cat's face. So I apologize Natalie, so you've taken us about three minutes into the movie. So they're all saying about how they're jealous. But this is really because this is the imposed narrative of the movie because cats notably

like doesn't really have a plot. Like it literally is just cats coming forward. It's like the second act of the Nutcracker where everyone just comes forward and is like, here is me, here's my thing, goodbye. And then the real, and then we dance in Russia, see you later. Here's how we dance in Arabia, see you later.

Exactly, like the real coup of Tom Hoopers is that he's like, well, we're gonna have a whole journey where we have our audience, Sirricut Kat, who is coming in because Victoria is just like one of the Katz in the actual show. And is just like one of the cats in the actual show and you just like go into the show and the cats are prowling around the audience and it just starts with them singing jellicle songs at you. They're not doing it too and like the whole show of cats is that all of them are on the same page and you are an outsider who sucks. So it's like always go on. So it's like spoiler alert,

the end of this movie when Judy Denj sings a song directly to the audience and I was like, could she hear me laughing at her? Yes, yes. But I also feel like these like efforts to make it an understandable narrative end up being even more alienating. Oh no, it makes it even worse.

Because your brain, when it's just the songs, like your brain gets into this rhythm of like, oh, okay, I'm watching a review and then like someone tries to advance the plot and like, what, what, what, what? What is this? Well, yeah, the fact that you said that I think the the moment that that typifies what they should have been doing with the movie for me is when Rump Tum Tugger is singing and he just finishes and Victoria is just like, whew, and then Buster for Jones just strolls at a no where like,

and it's like from my song, Buster for Jones. Oh, hello. He said, there's so many moments where you're like, and now the movie will begin. And no, the emotions is gonna tell us what it's like to live on the train. That's the best transition in the movie because not only does he, like, not only does Buster for Jones just sort of take her arm and walk her away. Yeah, as if he's like, now you listen to me.

He's like, in a runtime tiger song. He just turns and runs down the street away from my camera. Well, no, because I think Grisabella is in between. I think he hisses at Grisabella at the end of his. And then we get the moment of Jennifer Hudson being in a whole different movie from everyone else. Which like it felt like a good 10% of the audience in our theater. Most everybody else was there to see it ironically. But there's a 10% of the people that were like Jennifer Hudson's in a movie singing songs. I'm going to go see that. Yes. So anytime the very disrespectful audience were like trying to riff over Jennifer Hudson's

performance, they were good and shushed and rightly so. Yes, I believe so. I really think that Jennifer Hudson is good in the movie that she is in and I think it's right that she's in a different movie because Grisabella is the outsider character. I think more so than Victoria. I don't know that there's any performer in this movie who does themselves in injustice. They're all handed bad material to work with basically. But everyone's trying their hardest, no one's crapping out.

Everyone's trying to sell it. Judy Dunch finally gets her chance to be in cats after missing her chance to be in the original London production of it. Like, I was like, everyone is really working hard. There's nobody who's like, wink. I know it's stupid. It's a, it's cats. I haven't.

Sorry. I'm very bad with your saying. Not, not having seen the stage musical is the scene where Busta Ver Jones gets hit in the nuts by a garbage can. That's really not. The stage music that is not in it. Oh, okay. Damn, I'll being the same.

Well, I have two things that are brought up by things you've said. One about how everyone kind of acquits themselves as best they can. I kept thinking during it, not to borrow the title of another popular podcast, How Did This Get Made. Right. But it was a sense of, okay, there is such seriousness of purpose from these actors. And I think that it's because, of course, they are acting in a stage production of cats,

not knowing that later on CGI fur will be obscuring everything, all the fine work that they're doing. So they're taking it very seriously. How could they have known? Yeah, there's no way. How could they have known that's what it would look like? Yeah, it's like, when Harrison Ford was filming the upcoming film Call of the Wild,

which we saw the trailer for before cats, and I feel like there must have been a moment where Harrison Ford went up to the director and was like, the dog's gonna look normal, right? And the director's like, yeah. I saw that trailer and I'm like, they know that dogs exist in the world right they don't have to have this crazy looking fake dog the trailers before our screening of cats was originally called Scooby of the Wild the trailers before our screen of cats it started with the

the Aretha Franklin movie respect then it went to In the Heights and we're like, oh, okay, this makes sense. And then it goes to call the Wild and I'm like, wait a minute. And then it goes to Sonic the Hedgehog. And at that point, the audience is going crazy. And then there's also like some Christian movie about our rock musician. And also it was lost in the blue whirlwind

of the Sonic the Hedgehog genre. But do little, they do little too. It was all the hits. Lookwind of the Sonic the Hedgehog genre, but do little they do little to you It was all the all the hits look anything with animals or songs. That's what the cats people are there for now Dan to answer question how did this get made? I have a I think there is a very rational case to be made for making a movie this movie of cats Yes, was a huge hit for a long time. It was the longest running show in both London and New York. This cast is amazing. Even the people who are not famous are fantastic performers. I don't know why that they then just so on paper. It's like this should be a hit. And then for some reason, they were like, but first we're going to slap some weird CGI crazy cat values on every but I have a theory about this too. I'm sorry. You go Jenny and then I'll know.

So I wanted to agree that it should be a hit because like by its nature, Cass is basically a review. It's like it kind of works as a stage show, but even then like only sort of like you can do, but you could do or if they did it as a review movie, I think it might have worked as like a novelty. I would and I'm glad they didn't. I'm so glad they came out with this awful monstrosity instead, but like I think if they had done a really cool, fantasia-like animated movie where they were trying really cool, interesting animated techniques and they got cool. Like, yeah, that's the good version of the cat.

That would have been awesome. There are ways to have done this in a way that would have been a really good movie. It's just weird that Tom Hooper was like, I have an idea of like a weird narrative delay over, layover this. But I don't have any other vision. Well, that's what that plays into my theory, which was just like the problem with this is like each successive medium this material is given to us is less appropriate for what it is.

It starts out of the VR before it starts out about, it starts out these poems, like these whimsical character studies of cats, and it's like, okay, whimsical poems about cats, that makes sense, and then they're like, oh, let's make a musical out of it. That makes less sense, but I guess you can do it like a review and the theatricality of being cats would work on this stage, That makes less sense, but I guess you could do it like a review and like, you know, the

theatricality of being cats would work on the stage. And then they're like, let's make a big blockbuster movie about it, which is the worst thing to do with the material because like, blockbuster filmmaking now is so literal. So of course, they're going to be like, how do we make them look like real cats? How do we like, put a story in here? And then next it'll be the Netflix series where it's a 10 episode season and they've gotta like stretch that story out and everything. Yeah, yeah.

So guys, go on. I was just gonna say, this is more or less high budget hen tie. That is what they succeeded at making. So guys, what's a gelical cat? Yeah, well they spend a whole song asking questions of what the jellicle cat is. Because Victoria has appeared.

Victoria has been abandoned by her quote unquote family, or we don't know. And then all of these horrible to look at, CGI cats start, just talking to her and screaming things about jellicle cats asking her, and she's a Jealousy Cats and they're getting increasingly frantic and shrill over the course of the song and she doesn't know she is a Jealousy Cats yet because in the musical they're all Jealousy Cats and we're like all cats are Jealousy Cats and that's the

whole thing but in this it's like they're like the jets and the sharks they're like the Jealousy Cats are like a gang of cats. She doesn't know. You're still way I thought I I I understood it was gelical cats are like the mutants of cats. They've all got special powers and there's good gelicals and bad gelicals and they even like the way that the X-Men and their villains fight each other but then they'll occasionally team up because you know they're all mutants. So like that's what a gelical is. It's just like a cat that was born with a special extra power for instance some of them cause mischief But never get caught and another one causes mischief and never gets caught and yet another one does mischief

But never let's call another works on a train My my thing about like all these everyone says always says like oh they don't tell you what gelical means and I think it's Something or spend most of the movie telling you that god Damn let me get my thing out like one of the like big jokes the standard jokes about cats like oh they say gelical all the time But they don't say what it means and like it's more insidious than that like they never stop telling you what it means But everything they say it means is just a thing that a normal cat does. That a normal cat does, correct. So you're like, wait, what makes it special?

I don't know. Because the actual definition of Jellicle Cat in T.S. Eliot's version of it was it was just how his niece tried to say dear little cat. It was just her little speech impediment mispronunciation of dear little cat, which is a thing she heard, like adults say, and she tried to say it, and so it was jellicle. And then that comes back spoiler alert at the end of the movie after the Jennifer Hudson has blown off in her little shendily. Yeah, with the rest of the hero, not her. Judy Dunn says, Judy Dunn turns to Victoria and she says, you truly are a jellicle cat.

And everyone in the theater usually is laughing too hard to know that right after that, Judy Dunn says a dear little cat. And then Jennifer has been finished is flying because she's flying forever. Our theater. Well, can you say what is the delicate cat and everyone saying the things of Jellicle Cat? Yeah, in our theater when she when she announced Victoria was a

Jellicle Cat like people are freaking out Some people starting to wave Somebody got up and yell she is not a jellicle cat. Yeah, I refuse to accept one guy stormed out He's like I got to call my mom. Yeah, my fan fiction say she wasn't jellicle. Yes But basically that's the plot that is introduced at the beginning of the movie in the song Jellicle Cats is like now the storyline of this thing before the cat pageant of it all is Will Victoria be able to join the Jellicle Cats and at the end of Jellicle Cats Like everyone sort of scatters and Victoria does the thing where she's still singing the song, but everyone else is gone

Yeah, like you just learned it. Um, and that's when she turns and sees that Angelical Houston herself is standing there. But then McCavity appears and McCavity is like, oh, the ball could get dangerous. And then he disappears himself in a puff of smoke for the first time. The first time he says magic as he leaves. This is to tell you what you saw. So after that first crazy song, you're like, oh, this is probably gonna calm down and make a lot of sense. Yeah, yeah.

And that may mean it, nice song. Because the first song, I think I know enough about cats now, and then all the cats come back and they're like, cats have three names. Let me tell you about that. Yes, and the second song is the scariest part of this whole movie for me. It really is the boat ride from Willy Wonka writ large in my estimation because it's just like weird talking and then it ends with the word ineffable which becomes a huge part of

this movie as well. Yeah, what was that about? There's a concept. There's sexy dancing during that part as well. And then, Monk is strapped the narrator cat comes forward and is like the gelical ball. Yeah. Yes. But is this where he's like, I'm going to introduce you to some gelical cats. Yes. Well, because he says, are you going to come, he says, are you going to come to some gelical cat? Yes, well, because he says, are you gonna come, he says, are you gonna come to the gelical bond? She's like, what's the gelical ball? And then he says, the gelical ball is where old

deuteronomy decides who will be granted a new life. And she's like, how does she decide? And then, Munkistrap says, each cat will sing a song of themselves, who they are. And what they do, and at this point point my boyfriend leans over to me and goes okay drama turgis slay I've never um Explicated like that in the show either like everyone just sort of start saying here is who I am and what I do

But to have Tom Hooper add a Dialogue into the movie to think that that will make everything clear when all it does is just sort of muddy the waters even more of like, oh, now that they're talking, like is this supposed to be like naturalistic dialogue, what's going on? But what's going on?

Who they are and what they do. Point of order. Yes, the chair recognizes Jenny. Thank you. They all start introducing themselves via song before they're at any kind of recognizable ball. And they frequently dress without old deuteronomy present. Yes, dress rehearsal. Why are they blowing it right now? Right? They're just doing it at Victoria, who's like a nobody. Why are they

like completely wasting their song? Yeah, you need to be marking. That's my biggest problem. Yeah, everyone needs to be marking their songs because they're going to blow out their voices before old Deuteronomy gets there and is actually a lot more of a choice. And I want to say something about this structure. And Elliott, sorry, okay, go ahead. Elliott, you sort of fainted at it earlier, but I just want to say so, as we've said, basically, basically every song is either, let me tell you about myself or here, let me tell you about this guy. And like, or occasionally, let me tell you about cats.

Yeah, and you can like logically know that that's the deal behind the movie cats before going in being like, okay, well, you know, I, my brain can handle that. But then once you go see it in a big budget movie, it feels so strange because it's like the first act of a movie never ends. They just keep introducing a new character. Oh yeah, you know what that guy, don't worry about him. How about her? And they just keep introducing new characters.

And then there's no second act. And then there's 15 minutes of third act at the very end. Yeah, I mean it's kind of like a suicide squad, which where every 15 minutes they third act at the very end. Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like, it's kind of like a suicide squad, which where like every 15 minutes they reintroduce all the characters with a musical sting. Although this is the better version of that. Well, Judy Dunge constantly was sending dead animals. Similar to suicide squad on the same level, it's like a movie version of,

it's in a low calvino's, if on a Wintersnight a traveler Where every other chapter is a new first chapter to the story and you're out and you're trying to find the second chapter That's what cats is like and it's you're right Dan because it's like okay. We're at the gelical ball We've met all the cats now she's gonna make her decision. Oh, here's scramble shanks. We never seen him before Here's Bombalo Rooms. Here's Bombalo Rooms. We're going to tell him so I'm a candidate. We already know about it, but I don't know why he's not seeing you. But he's not seeing you by himself.

And it's weird. Because most of these characters, as well, you don't see again, really. Yeah. You don't see them before or after. Elliot turned to me like a few times and was like, we are 10 minutes in or two hours in. I have to know why you're doing this. There's truly no way I'm doing way. I want to admit this, like, you in no way need this to enjoy this movie.

And if you have a problem with substances, you probably shouldn't. But I had an edible before seeing this movie. You don't need it. But I will say that the moment that I started jiggling for 20 screening, we went to. Yeah, that's the, I think the programmer was having a laugh. The moment I first started giggling uncontrollably,

and just genuinely couldn't stop was thinking about these introductions and imagining if like that's how I like life went for me. Like if I met a new person, they were like, hey, I'm mumbling peg, the scullery of human. Like my deal is this, I'll tell you for nine minutes. You'd be starting a new job and be like, well, tell us about yourself, Dan. I'm Dan McCoy, a clone kind of fellow,

sometimes a man, and sometimes I'm a no-no. I'm like, yes, perfect. I'm not. Not to stop you, you don't have to tell me your extra. I already know it. The thing about all these cats is that they can tell us whatever they want as far as we've been shown and not told they are exclusively self-introduction cats. Yeah, that's all they do.

Also, I'll say, if you don't do edibles often, I took an edible the second time I saw it, and when it all hits you at once, for me personally, I just became very aware of my mortality. And I just, yes, and I just sort of was like, oh my God, I'm gonna die from being too high at cats, and that's what my family is gonna have to say at my funeral. She was too high at cats. And that's what my family is gonna have to say at my funeral. Is that like, she was too high at cats

and she died from it? You're like, I think I'm gonna not survive the next time that Rebel Wilson as Jenny and he dodged scratches her crotch on camera. Or I don't think I'm gonna survive when check-off skin suit. Oh God. That's, so let's go to her.

So she needs some other cats. Yes. And I think her introduction is basically, do you want to see one of the cats that's getting ready for the ball? And then we go to Rebel Wilson, who is a gumbee cat, which they never really say what that means, other than that she hangs out during the day

and everyone thinks she's lazy. And then when everyone goes to sleep, she recruits all of the mice and the beetles to be like a little servant fleet from her. And she teaches them how to sing and dance. And she manages to make a dance troupe out of some child mice. And this is the most disturbing thing.

That are too small. The mice are too small compared to how big the cats are in this part. Yeah. So bizarre. And I was like, so she goes to like a stove or something. So wait a minute. They all have human faces. What do humans look like?

What did they went to a statue and the human had like a monster face? Oh yeah, it's I am the beholder. It's the Twilight Zone I have the beholder it's the I have And I I they kept thinking of the lady in a racer head who lives in the radiator and sings the heaven song And I was like I will show that to my son before I show him these weird baby Living the stove well, there's sequences in this where like the like they're they've just super imposed a strip of These these people in CGI cockroach costumes, marching across the screen, and then you have these giant big cat heads in back.

Like, that's the back layer of it. And it's as wacky and as like sort of collage-y in images you would see in like, how sue or something. It's just mind-blowing, he's strange to look at. So the movie continues to be on hard mode. Yeah. Can we talk about just a second, the shot,

when she, like, the Beatles come out, and then randomly goes upside down, in this way that feels very, like, eighth grade or doing his first, like, film project. Yeah, no, it's like an A.B. video. And there's a scene where she is singing into something. And I can't tell if is it a tale, is it a length of intestine?

It's pink. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, I'm curious. So she sings into her tale later and it looks different from what that is. It looks like an umbilical cord. The rest of the movie, I was like looking for this pink cat. Yeah, there's a real touch row, the Iron Man feel to this whole sequence culminating

when she unzips her skin and underneath is wearing like a music note sequined vest and hot pants. And it's like, who's skin? Were you wearing it? Was it your sister Jenny when we walked out who was like, oh, she's like Buffalo Bill and she kills other cats? You know what? I guess that's the second way to skin a cat. I But toward this more than one but it really seemed like there was just one way but I guess Now of course this we move on from that musical number to the plot

Which is that Rump Tum Tugger is also in the movie which is that Rump Tum Tugger is also in the movie. Yeah, it's in. Jason D'Rulo appears and he says that was boring. It's pretty old-fashioned. He has a British accent because all of them have to have British accents. You know what? I loved what he was doing. Honestly, I did too.

I loved that arrangement of Rump Tum Tugger as sort of a prince vibe. I did too. Like James Brownie, like a little bit of that. I like it. It was weird though. Like a little bit of that. I like it was weird. Milk. Nothing better. Yeah, and then he starts pouring cream all over. All over the woman. Yeah, he takes them all to a milk bar and all of a sudden all of these cats are just Riding under milk.

I have a guzzling milk like Luke Skywalker at his Hermitage. It's just like getting all of their fur. It must be so gross. Oh man, it's so great. And it's so bad for cats, but whatever, they love it. And the thing is, there was, is this where we should talk about how they minimized all the actors, Crotch areas? Yeah, I think Jason DeRuella was a little rougher.

He was a little more rougher. He was a little more rougher. He was a little more rougher than he was. He was a little more rougher than he was. He was a little more rougher than he was. Yeah. Which, thank God. Yeah, I guess it's too big. Based on that, you're very close with him. Which, thank God. Yeah, he's too big.

Based on that, I think he's a great fellow of him. Like, try to make them less sexuals, all they're saying, because there's enough stuff moving in my face. No, clearly, clearly Tom Hooper is a butt guy, because all sorts of, and a foot guy, or chestal genitalia, or secondary sex characteristics,

has been shrunk to almost nonexistence so that we can focus more on the double moons of their butts just popping up and down in front of the camera constantly. Yeah. Tons of butt stuff. And then in the middle of Rumptum Tugger, when Victoria does her leg extension at him

and there's just a close up of him staring at her foot. And then it goes back to the like it the camera Cuts away from that and then goes back to her foot in his face as he's singing Victoria He's a couple of socrates. That was yes. Yes. Yes. It was very terrible Now we said that we liked the arrangement here But I do have to say something about the music. And that is that, you know, I know Elliot is a proponent of Jesus Christ Superstar. I am not a big Andrew Lloyd Webber fan in general. I think Jesus Christ Superstar is the only Andrew Lloyd Webber I can legitimately say I love. Yes. I think that there are some good songs in this

show. I mean, at least like the melodies are catchy, but for me, she... Some of them are just like, this is just some words. Yeah, no, I agree. But like, the instrumentation, like, I, this is like such an expensive movie, but the way they do it, it sounds like a carousel is farting on a synthesizer. Like, well, that's more for me more really admire that they kept the electronic synth Sound in so much because like that set not having seen cats on stage again only knowing it from the TV commercials That says cats to me like that 80 synth sound and like I'm like, you know what? That's I'm sure there would be a lot of mad musical theater people if you take the synths out of cats

And I I will say I'm gonna drop a name. That is exactly what Mr. Lynn Monroe Miranda said when it started. He was like, I'm so glad that they're doing all of the synths. I'm so glad. Because it doesn't say, I feel like weirdly, this score is like such a product of 1982 that to try and like beef it up, I feel like that would sound weird or almost,

is if they rearrange the orchestrations to be not sent heavy at all. If they like, I'm just trying to make them fancier. Yeah, I'm gonna say two words, auto-tuned cats. We don't need that. I love that they didn't do any of that stuff. They didn't modernize it too much. There's a, I have a question,

or just I have another point because we brushed by this and I'm sorry to derail the conversation, but it's bothering me. The, the milk bar. Yeah. Jerry London. Yes. But they're also in an all cats world. Yeah. All the signs are cat hands.

There's a cat scene out across the street. And there's post wanted posters for a cat. Yeah, the cavity. Right. But they were more already during the day. Yeah. During the day they were more yard. I think the cause it like it's more already and then it goes dark in the middle of gelical songs and then it kicks back and it's McCavity. So I think in the world of cats were supposed to believe that after dark,

it becomes cat world. Wait, but during the day Sherlock Holmes is real? Well, that's another nod to the T.S. Eliot stuff. I was doing my research a little bit too, because I was like, I didn't realize how in depth the Wikipedia articles on almost every cat, except for Jones who does not get his own Wikipedia article, which is crazy.

No, he's just a cat who likes to eat garbage that's true that's very much T.S. Eliot's play on Moriarty like that that's his joke like he was inspired by Moriarty for that character and so like to have a Moriarty poster become a cavity poster another little wink to the people who know the pet story oh my god because Moriarty is always like doing crimes and going crime

you know and it's all based on the ultra-lory, the case of the disappearing dust dude. Can I say what more yardie's body is covered in fur and he has no penis? Yeah. Can I say one more thing about the music? Do your podcast man go ahead? Is that, I do think that the way everything is mixed together, I don't know what it is. I think it's partly the singing,

partly T.S. Eliot's poetic language, a lot of which is kept. I can't understand a lot of what the cats are singing. No, no. So their whole deal is like, let me tell you about you. But I just have to guess from what, the visions of what I'm seeing visually on the screen. It's very hard to make out the lyrics a lot of the time.

So you're just seeing, like, Rumptum Tugger just kind of, like, dancing and girl cats going, ah, and I'm like, I guess he's a, he's a Don Juan cat. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. They all have, like, one thing. So you get what it is, but it's still. I, I really can't wait for the, uh, I really can't wait for this to hit streaming.

So you can just slap on those close captions Now I I'm gonna correct something I said earlier I said that the best part is the transition between Rumbtum Tugger and Bust for Jones looking back on my notes I somehow forgot that Grisabella shows up between those two characters She does indeed and sings the little like condensed early version of memories just to give us a taste of it Yes, well she I think this is actually not the pre-preies of memory. I think when she first appears, this is the weird recitative moment where she's like, she walks and she's doing a thing and her eye twists.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm very curious. It's pre-preies an actual word because that's what I wrote in my notes, but I didn't know whether that's how that's how I've always heard it. All right, referred to interesting. So I think you just know things, Dan. Oh, wow. Great. And so why did the other cat's not like grizzabella just because she has the stink of failure about her? No, it's the double snot reveal. It's she has, she does not have two ribbons.

She was a sex worker with McCavity. Under McCavity, I feel like that's the vibe that they were, they were trying to get us that. Oh, yeah. She went off with McCavity. She was the glamour cat, which I don't know what her job was even when she was the glamour cat, because they were like, if she was the glamour cat,

then she fell on hard times. And yeah, as glamour cat, she was the cat in the fancy feast commercial who ate out of the crystal goblet. And that's what her song would have been about I'm the glamour cat eating out of crystal everybody Talks that till You know this falls into my other favorite angeloy webber thing

Which is the part in rainbow high where people just list whatever they're gonna do for a vapor Oh, yes, it just goes glamour Yes, and also someone in Rainbowhide just goes magic. And I'm like, when does Eva Perone learn magic? What? She's doing a sleight of hand. I don't know what's going on. So I really wanted the moment where Victoria,

like Victoria clearly telegraphed. She's going to be the one who allows Grizabella to redeem herself because she is nice. And I wanted everyone to be like, no, don't you get it? Grizabella was Hitler's cat. That's why we don't know. No, no, no.

You don't know everything about Grisabella. You just got here. Is this when Victoria sings the new song? No. Okay. No, no, that's much later. Now it's when this is when they force Jennifer Hudson to crawl away even though no one has been crawling.

You know, a lot of people talk about how she's like, snotty while she's singing. She's like, there's a lot of, and like, that, you know, I mean, she does an amazing job singing. I'm not like, she's great in it, but like, I do think that Tom Holland has made or hooper, sorry, I keep doing. Although, you're getting dragged into this.

Yeah, why not? Maybe Tom Holland stopped by for the day and Tom Hooper played Spider-Man for the day. I don't know. I do think this is a direct or a little choice from Tom Hooper who's probably like, okay, the one thing that everyone thought was great in my laym is was with Anne Hathaway was crying so much singing I dreamed of dreams. So we got to really cry up this memory.

Like we got a maybe. Yeah. And people loving the the viola Davis moment because Lin turned to me and was like her snot and I was like yeah they're giving her a violet Davis moment it's just that this movie is bad and so every like little minute detail we are like dissecting but I weirdly think that if this movie were being generally perceived as good we would love her Snot and be like, oh, she's so raw and in it and doing the face. Here's why I disagree with you.

I think you're right if it was real Snot. I kind of suspect it's CGI Snot. Oh, it is such perfect dual twin rivulets down her face in a way that I've never seen in a human being. And I'm like, I think they put some computers not on her face to make it look more raw. Oh, that would bum me out so hard. Well, all of our VFX listeners,

please chime in and let us know. You know, I'm talking completely, I have no idea. I'm not a VFX cat, so I don't know particularly. But while we're back to the CGI mistake, there was something that I forgot I wanted to say before, which is that, there's a lot of dancing in this movie, a lot of people doing real dancing who like I presume at the time were on set doing amazing things with their bodies, but then they paint a bunch of CGI fur over it and it all looks like it's just badly rendered

animation. You know? Yes. It immediately ruins the work of those dancers. You're just like oh that looks so fake and weird. I don't know necessarily because there were two sequences in the movie when we went to see it. Jenna just saw it last night. There were two sequences when the audience stopped laughing. Yeah. It was just the silence of an entertained audience.

And those were both big dance numbers. And I'm like, there were a couple of moments where I was like, this is really good dancing. And if they had just let the dancing Shanks tapping was that one of them? The other one was there's a long wordless dance when the jellicle ball is starting and it starts out funny And then you're like oh no like these are really good dancers that are all like taking their turn dancing Yeah, and it's like oh this is good like dance is powerful But those are both like oh this movie shouldn't have words in it. It should just be dancing.

Yeah. But also, those are both specifically more grounded dance sequences than a lot of the ones. Yes. They're not leaping around through the area. There's also the gelical ball. The gelical ball when it starts, it's like shot in the CGI isn't a way where it looks like they're floating. And so it feels really CGI, but then it gets to a point in it where then like, late twins are in like sneakers for their featured moment of it. And then it feels really real because obviously like they have shoes on the floor.

So all of this is like them doing these things. And then after that, it gets a little more grounded. But I feel like it's, whenever it's the cats at the whims of Tom Hooper's CGI, it looks so fake that you're like, this isn't dance anymore. Yeah, it starts to be like the old man character

from the Six Flags commercials. Or you're just like, this isn't how this guy would really dance. And there will be moments where they have people doing stuff that they couldn't do in life and they've just mapped a face onto something and that face shitties around where it should be but it's never quite at the right place. Yeah, it kind of swims around the head. It's like the...

Yeah, like when Zadowichi the blind swordsman. Yeah, or when Christopher Lee battled Yoda those times So So my cavity appears after after Grisabella is banished by the group McCavity appears in magic's away rebel Wilson Put poof her into dust. We don't know where she went yet And then James Corden Doing his big song about how he loves to be fat and eat trash out of Carpets.

And then there's a real opportunity here to do the thing that Heathcliff would do where he would take a whole fish and put it in his mouth and then pull out just the bones. Why did you do that Tom come on? I also like what to say that when you know rebel rebel Jones and James Gordon have a lot of moments Rebel Jones Did you combine your publicity Jones? Rebel Wilson and James Gordon have a lot of moments in this where they are clearly like just ad-libbing a joke and They'll do this joke and the camera will just hang on the camera will just hang on the for a while.

Like they're expecting a glorious laughter from the audience. In an audience full of people, yeah, exactly. It's just gonna be wave after wave of laughter and you don't want them to miss any of those way. They don't want the laughter to step on the very well-enunciated

lyrics that are about to show up. And then and then McCavity takes Buster for Jones to. Yes, McCavity takes Buster for in a way where he appears with more trash food in a garbage can. And like even though buster has just eaten so much trash food in a garbage can, this trash food in a garbage can looks so much more sumptuous.

And so he disappears into it. And I think this one, McCavity just says meow. Yeah, yeah. He really says it in a flop house house cat cadence. Yeah, I actually got a check in the mail from Tom Hoover. Now that we've established McCavity is sealing these cats, it's time for the plot to start, time to get on the hunt and stop McCavity from kidnapping any more cats, right? That's the next thing that happens.

No, Elliot, I'm so sorry to announce that now it's mongo chair and a couple of these it that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that But at this point during bus for Jones song we actually see Rumtum Tugger who had introduced himself previously And he had run away. Do you think he was running away from the cavity so he didn't get dusted? Like he's the only one, he's the only cat who, he's the only jellicle cat who introduced himself and doesn't get disappeared. What do you think gang? Oh yeah.

I think you put more thought into it Stewart than anyone else. Yeah. You know, just because I'm kind of a rum-tum-dugger myself. I did. As long as we're talking to Cavity, I do want to say that Indra Selva has been handed a thankless chore.

By giving the ideas that he has to yell, a catch phrase as he disappears. But he gives it as all. He really goes far. If they're going to sell those McCavity talking dolls,. But he gives it as all. He really goes more. If they're going to sell those McCavity talking dolls, they need things for it to say when you pull the string. So at the end of Bustafur, after Bustafur has been disappeared by McCavity, all of the other cats

have sort of scattered. And once again, Victoria is sort of alone. And the only people she's left with, the only cats she is left with, are Mungo Jerry and Rumpelties who like sort of take her under their wing and say we're gonna show you our little neck of the woods and they are house cats but they're terrors to the people who own them and they do a whole song that's slinky

and weird about how they love to- I don't care for the melody of this one. No, it's very bad and this is a departure from the show version. The show version is a big like Vodville acrobatic number where they're doing, they're doing like double cartwheels on each other. They do like three cartwheels where they're holding each other. It's like a whole deal and I really recommend you watch it. This is my biggest problem with this movie is that they changed this melody because this one is a funeral dirge pace. Yeah.

It is just so slow and boring and- And it sounds weird each time they go, Mongo Jerry and Rumble teaser. Like they've got to try so hard to stretch out the word to match this in our stage. That's the teasing, really. Yeah, I wanna- I wanna-

They want Mongo Jerry to be like a Jason Statham type so clearly like he just keeps being like, no pictures right? This song did inspire the best audience talk in my second screening and this is a two part joke so prepare yourself. Okay. Well, then you just like an exasperation goes They're three inches tall look at the baseboard and then it's a laugh and then she reconsideres and goes well six in Park Slope Local humor yeah, yeah, that's great. There's the moment. So they're fistuning

Victoria with jewels and those those very jewels that she thought might buy her happiness instead form some kind of a cage and tie her bed. Yes, she chain her to a bed. Oh God, it is so sexual. It's like a very Vicki Christina Barcelona situation where like it's the part where Scarlett Johansson becomes the third to Javier Bard damn and penalty crews like they're clear and like oh this is gonna be a no go for you and then as soon as there there comes the bark of a dog no and we obviously the question is what does that fucking dog space look like yeah I had the same wonder does it look like a person to or is it just a regular dog like I don't know it's a reverse thing it's a human body and a dog face. Whoa, it's so pretty.

Ooh, like a dog voice. Yeah, exactly. Oh, man. The other thing is this is the scene where I think it really clicked into place, how strange the proportions were because she's got like a watch as a collar, which, okay, I'll buy that for a cat, but she also has rings, like human rings as bracelets.

Yes. And they're huge on her. Yes. Like, how big is that person's fingers? Yeah. I mean, I think how smaller they're wrists. I think that if this was like a stage design idea on stage, like, okay, we're going to create this kind of fantastical world where we're

gonna have different stage pieces, be different sizes. It's your classic, guilder, rander, little girl type thing, you know? That would be fine, because it's like this fantastical universe, but they're constantly interacting with so much stuff in this movie, and the problem is the audience knows what size a cat is. Don't see cats, and now there's a cat. But there's like, it is like you expect that any moment a cat could fit through the,

through the shoelace hole of a shoe and then suddenly be as tall as a building. And then we would be just like deal with it, whatever. There are like three instances where a character interacts with a fork. Every time the fork is a different size. Yeah, what works? Come in different sizes, Jenny. Oh, you're right. Oh, man, it was like a salad fork. And there were those big serving forks. I'm like a trident that beside and left

behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're just boots in a trident. The side was whisked away to the heavens. I have to say the gravity was like Poseidon, just to turn him into dust, you know. So here's where we. Victoria is like chained to the door. She cannot get out because as soon as the dog, the threat of the dog happens, Mungo Jerry and Ropletes are just leave her.

They leave her and they're like, bye bye bye and they just laugh. And then magical Mr. Mastophiles appears because in this movie, there's a love story between Victoria and Magical Mr. Bistopheles, which I'm fine with because I think Magical Mr. Bistopheles in this movie is so hot. He has like a Robert Pattinson as Cedric Diggery vibe.

Like he doesn't know how hot he is yet, but he can tell he's a little weird out. He's also kind of dressed like Jesus in God's Bell though. Yeah, and his fucking song sounds like God's Bell. Yeah, and so magical, Mr. Mastopoli's rescues her by throwing a, by magicing a dog bone out of nowhere. Not the bone of a dog, but a bone that a dog could like. I mean, we can't tell you that's actually the case. They like clearly wanted Eddie Redmain for that part so bad

Which is too bad because that's a great name for a cat I'm Eddie Redmain and I'm the cat that is okay Or movie and then another movies. I'm not so good For Dom No Gleason. He would that's a good cat name So That's a good cat name. So he wrote it as just himself as a cat. After that is when we finally find out where Maca'avis have been taking all these cats, right? And I apologize if listeners can hear there's some crying going on outside the door, do a baby. Imagine those cries are from a dog parking at Victorian magical mystery.

Just don't, start imagining that that baby is a chicken and strangle it Elliot. That's that's all I ask you. Oh, Mash it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, Do you know because farewell goodbye man there? We go out to a barge You can all these kids. A barge on the Thames where McCavity has been Magikin his competition for the jocleball and we find out that that is the reason he has been Magikin in the way he wants to be the one that is chosen to go to the heavy side layer and he wants to make sure that all the

competition is being wiped out. What? Oh, the heavy side layer. Okay, what's that? It's where the cats go to be granted a new life. It is death, I believe they're just flying up there. But they believe they will be granted in a new life. It's very sort of heaven's gate cult. Oh, okay. Cool. They're going to get there very popular in the 70s. New balances.

It's going to be incredible. But yeah, we find that out. Rebel Wilson and James Corden are there together so that they can do a tag team adlib situation. Wait, but then we get to meet, we get to meet Greltiger. Yes. together so that they can do a tag team adlib situation. But then we get to meet, we get to meet Gral Tiger. Yes, Gral Tiger. The most unexpected song of the night. My favorite song in the entire thing.

Yes. It is 20 seconds long because he says to destroy my evil lambs on the droid of the times. and then it's immediately stopped by James Corden going And I think it's thames it's thames that does it rhyme see so but and then the whole thing is Stop to put then James Corden gets his little head Yeah, yeah, yeah, put into by crowd tiger Yeah, we got poured into by Grout Tiger. And it's just, it's a delight. Grout Tiger song is like four minutes long

in the stage version and I, but I just love that. They just completely abandoned that. Also, I will say apparently a bit of James Corden Adlib, like the best bit of James Corden Adlib got deleted from the movie, which is that apparently his biggest adlib right after Grout Tiger started doing which is that apparently his biggest ad lib right after Groud Tiger started doing that is that he went, wait you just introducing yourself I just did that. I just didn't leave it. Just sort of upset the entire.

Yeah yeah they'd be worried that people would be struck from their cats' reverie and stumble out of the theater immediately. We've taken out of the world. So we now know where they're being magicked off to. We go back to Victoria. Victoria has been rescued by Ms. Toffles. She takes her back to Munkestrop the narrator, who is boring. It has no discerning qualities.

And Munkestrop is like, where have you been? And dolde deuronomy is almost here. And baby, there's a fog. And coming through that fog is misjudiedent. Damejudiedent, she is appearing. And when it pans out and you see her little legs, it's so exciting. It's really exciting. It's really exciting.

Her human hand with a wedding ring on it is in full view. It should be like an epic moment. But then they cut back and show you how tiny she is and how much distance she has to walk. And then when you're like, she's standing around watching this old bird coaxie's wearing. Yes, yes. And this is also the first time where I noticed

like how weird the sound mixing of the movie is, because they will randomly What Tom Hooper is so obsessed with reaction close-ups of people But then he will have the sound mixing also turn up their weird harmony line So like you're watching monk astrat Great old deuteronomy, but his part is this weird tenor line and it's just like just don't don't turn his up in the mix just. Oh that's a great one better. Mr. Mustafa Lee. When Rumbtum Tucker is like.

Yes, that's the best. He did the strangest thing in the first song, the Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats, where he would just like cut abruptly to someone else singing in a completely different style, very quickly, and then back to the main melody. And it's like, in it's like this Mulan Rouge frenzy. Yes, my favorite part of Jellicle Songs is when they do the two others who do, and then it cuts to Eager's Elba, and he just goes, what? What? And you think for a second, because that's the continuation of the thought, is like, two others who do what,

Jellicles can and Jellicles do, but instead it just feels like there's a huge ensemble moment, and then Eager's Elba just goes, what? It feels like Eager's Elba has stumbled on the movie that he's in. He's like, hold on a sec. It's like, oh, that's the audience. Sorry, kid. Yes, absolutely. Yeah.

Yeah, the audience is taking Katso away after they've been introduced. So we're finally at the Jellico Ball at this point. We're finally at the Jellico Ball. It's like they weren't all Jellicle Balling before? Like why were they introducing themselves to get to the heavy side layer? You were the first man, wasn't part of it. Practice makes perfect.

Yeah, yeah. That was the life, it's not, it's the chimeration. That was the like tailgate party before the Jellicle Ball. Well, that's what they've always said. How do you get to the Jellicle Ball practice? I mean, honestly, It's what they've always said. How do you get to the gel cold ball practice? I mean honestly, Buster for Jones and Jenny any dots are not getting chosen. They might as well just burn their song. They're gonna fall into the river and get sucked up the chocolate pipe.

I mean, never really explain what like the the qualifications are for getting to the heavy side layer, either because Buster for Jones, as we've established his song, is just, I'm fat. I like to eat and write the entire thing. I think it could be in like defending your life when they're basically saying like, you didn't make the most of your life. You had all these opportunities to make the most of it and you held back. Buster was like, I never held back.

I saw something I wanted to eat and I ate it. I enjoyed life to the fullest. Give me another one, please. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys.

That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys.

That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game, these boys. That's the game old Duteronomy's own arithmetic that mortal cats cannot in hope to penetrate except that in the end she picks the most obvious cat that we all thought she was gonna pick. Please old Duteronomy is her father call her old dude. I remember when when old dude was crucified between those two criminals and said you two she'll die with me in heaven tonight Why why'd she why'd she bring those criminals up to the happy side there with her?

I don't know that's the mystery of old dude wrong I do like the idea of calling her old dude because that's gonna get those that's gonna get the teens into it right? Yeah, I think it's the happy side layer It's more kind of a Buddhist thing where you have to you just sort of have to unburge yourself of the things of this life And the last thing that you risk a belly gets rid of is her pain and that that And then once they get to the heavy sit heavy-side layer They their collar is weighed against a feather Right and and if they don't if it doesn't work that wait didn't don't look behind you. There's a cat

Watch out, it's event of starting. I hate it about Natalie's. Arche's my name. And Arche's making muffins like interrupter. I hope that's a recycled thing. So the Jellicle Ball, there's a lot of... The Jellicle Ball begins, there's a little... There's a little...

Everybody's tales are operating like Dan. Is there a bit of a reprise of the Jellicle Cats song where they're like, explain the Gellicle Cats are not to, you know, do a musical theater. Yeah, no, they're, as they're walking into the Gellicle ball, they all sort of start saying what Gellicle Cats are, but it keeps changing and they're saying, they're speaking it in a scary way. So there's one verse where they're like, jellicle cats come out. Jellicle cats are of moderate size.

Jellicle cats, as we said, are small. And they're black and white and of moderate size. And they're small. We have learned neither of them. I love that, like, the first song of the musicals about jellicle cats, then you get another song that's about something else. And then the third song is about jellicle cats again. And it's like, in about Jelco Cats again.

And it's like, in this point in my head, I'm just like, okay, if you're gonna make up a word, you can't use it all the time. Just do it in two songs. Totally. No, no, no. Totally, yeah. You gotta sell it.

You sell that word constantly until it no longer has any meaning. If you can just strain, it starts in a strange sound. Then you're like, I kind of understand what they're saying. And then it's just a strange sound, and it loses all comprehension to you. This is the point which Dan was like, this is a clockwork orange. There's a bunch of scary, other, my Dan, not this day, but my boyfriend.

No, but also me. But you know, which is yes. Also, there's also Dan McCoy, just like, because a bunch of people creeping into an abandoned theater with weird sinister Intention saying words that don't totally make sense and the audience feels like their eyes are like forced open Yeah, it's I not since uh Yeah, like it's the only thing I can think I can compare it to in some ways is It the way they repeat words and stuff is like how in swini Todd they keep reminding you that this shows about swini Todd

Right right on then they'll just be like, Sweeney Todd's the guy, remember? Yeah, this is a little bit like if in filler on the roof, the every song was like, Jews, Jews, what are Jews? Yeah, we're Jews. I'll tell you about Jews. This song in filler on the roof is kind of like that. I don't know that, yeah, I guess so.

This sequence where people in weird costumes dance into a abandoned church wearing top hats and shit remind me a lot of the first time I played a live-action role-playing game in a church after hours back in high school. Oh what a vampire I was that night guys. Absolutely incredible. It's a cliche to say something is dreamlike, but like this movie is dreamlike in that it has its own concerns. Like everyone in this have concerns that are very important to them. And within the movie it makes sense.

Like within the movie everything is this constructed world. Like, oh, okay, it's important to be the chosen jellicle cat. Of course, we all know that. But as soon as you wake up and step outside of the dream, you're like, what was all that nonsense about the heavy side layer? There are also many moments where you're like, did I, is there any way that that actually existed outside of my subconscious? Yeah, it all takes place in a snow globe. I think that's It's like a hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot Judy Dench says at the end of the movie cats are not dogs are not dogs, right? But I spent so much of my time picking him up giving him weird nicknames and being like spoof the Pope of France Yeah, like just declaring weird things about him And I'm like what if all the cats are declaring stuff that humans have declared about the cats that they are

Okay, just repeating what like I would definitely be like spoof so little railway guy Just repeating what I would definitely be like spoof so little railway guy Oh, it's everywhere the train can't start without This now this big dance scene this the one I was talking about earlier where I was like this actually works for me But it starts with the moon comes out It's like climax if they're gonna turn into werewolf cats. Yeah And then over the course of this dance grizzabella sort of creeps in to see what's going on. And she slinks out and Victoria sees her. And she goes to see Grizabella out in the moonlight.

And this is when Grizabella does the memory pre-prease. She is sort of like holding her face to the lamp light. It's really intense. And honestly, this is the first part where I like did get teary-eyed because Jennifer Hudson, I don't think she's great with dialogue in films, but Jennifer Hudson knows how to emote during a song and sound great doing it. And so I was very moved. And luckily, the last I get too moved during this point in the movie, the next thing is Beautiful Ghosts,

sung by Victoria. I'm gonna fight about the finale. I thought that Beautiful Ghosts, I know it's new for this movie version, but I really liked the melody for that song a lot. I thought it was very, very pretty song. And I don't, and as I said, I don't like me. Sure. I think the song is not the problem. I think the space that it occupies is the problem for me because it's sort of like you look at cats, even people

who despise cats, you have to admit, memory is great. And it's like, okay, what is the iconic song from this show? The iconic song is about an outcast discussing like the only memories that they have to sustain them. And then to follow up, like at least the pre-prease of that with someone else coming up and being like, hey, so you think you have it bad? You at least have memories that are good. My life is worse than yours. Well,

that she's like, she's like, at least you have your memories. I'm young and I have my whole life ahead of me. Exactly. That's anything yet. Isn't that terrible? And that Rosebel is like, I'm going to kill you right now. Yes, yes! And also weirdly, Francesca Hayward, who plays Victoria, is half black in real life. But the optics of the way that they have her

as just a white cat approaching a cat who is clearly a woman of color and being like, hi, I have it worse because like sometimes people say I'm too beautiful to be around. I feel like it feels very supermodel. No, I agree with that. They just feel like stealing the moment. But I guess that because I do not have any previous attachment to the musical cats, I had not seen it in any other format. So what you're saying is you're like, I'm sorry that I don't love cats as much as you now.

Yeah. Well, you're saying it's like, at least you have your memories of the original cats to cling to. What about me who's never seen cats? Isn't that the worst thing to me? No, I'm saying that I only, I only registered cats as a bunch of stimuli that was being thrown at me. So my thought when I heard this was like,

oh, pretty sore. I will say I also like this song much better when Taylor Swift sings it. Yeah, I like Taylor Swift's version on the soundtrack a lot. This when what this song becomes eventually turns into Judy Dench watching them and and sing talking words that were incomprehensible to me. It was like the other than one ear and out the other my brain refused to register. Well, this is because then Judy Dentjes song is from the actual show. And it leans into Andrew Lloyd Webber's favorite thing, which is just like, recited to Teve.

That's a bunch of random notes together. It's like, here are some words I say now. That was always like, that's, that's, that was when I was a kid. That was my like, mental that's that was when I was a kid that was my like mental parody of Sunthru musicals. Yes. Because there is always that part which is like and now to try and fishin from this song. Okay, well this is not a Just let the listeners know that Dan went from looking at Natalie to looking at me. That's a really, that's stagecraft. Yeah, that's so cool.

Yeah, it's to include the whole audience. You gotta play it all this side. This is the theater of the round. So Dan, you're listening to a lot of Gilbert and Sullivan. That's right. Great. So Victoria goes back in after Judy Dungeons has watched. And Judy Dungeons is like, it's time for the Jalikobotta, starting Victoria is like, I don't know if I can. And Judy Dungeons is like, it's time for the Jellicle Ball to start in Victoria's.

I don't know if I can. And Judy Dungeons is like, why? And Victoria says, well, I'm not a Jellicle. And Judy Dungeons is like, well, you can watch. And you can be my guest. It's very much watching. It's very wild. And now the Jellicle Ball finally begins,

even though we have been watching it happen, forever. And the first player up is Ian McClellan as Gus the theater cat. And ooh baby, this movie is good. Yeah. No, this is like, look, I will make an argument that there are multiple moments in this movie that come very close to actually working well on their intended level and all of them are when The camera just kind of stops and focuses on a performer and lets them like a moat or sing or do their thing

If you let Ian McKellen just perform what's essentially like kind of a speech song Yeah, he'll be able to do a great job. Yes, yes, you're straight I wonder if there was like a waver they had to sign when they were being cast that said, like, I give them permission to turn my body into a CGI. I think it just floats around in the end, leaps. And Ian McCallum was like, um, Sir Ian is not signed. Yes. I won't be doing that.

I'm sure they've signed a contract that says that we will look like absolutely normal cat humans. Not weird at all. After you did agree to say meow, meow, meow. He probably added that. He does like it in our peugeot of meow, meow, meow, meow. Didn't he also like scratches head against like a wall? Yeah, he scratches his head against a wall. It's very sweet because he scratches his head against a wall

for luck right before he goes on. And Mustafa Lee's is watching him right behind. And Mustafa Lee's copies that behavior because he like idolizes Gus the theater cat. And it's very sweet and contributed to my huge Mustafa Lee's crush. This was this was one of the scenes where I was like, why like this scene works somewhat. And it's one of the less CGI-ish scenes and it made me start thinking about like the cowardly lion in Wizard of Oz. We're like, that's not a realistic looking costume.

Like I'm never like, oh wow, there's a real lion walking around. This Bert Lars performance is so broad, but when he's sad in it, it's like really moving to me. And I'm like, so how come this movie can't do that? Is it part of the CGI? Is it partless CGI? Is it partly what I couldn't quite figure out. How this, how the Wizard of Oz was accomplishing with this one was not?

It can't do it in general, but I'll tell you something. At the end of Ian McKellid's number, the second time I saw this movie in theaters, the audience burst into applause, the whole audience, and it was genuine applause. like it did not seem ironic They're like holy shit some acting just happened to the middle of the Yeah, and it's also that it's an old and an older actor that we're very familiar with singing about being an old actor Who has his memories of it like it's it's one of the few times where I'm like oh the part and the perform of this

Inbustifer I'm like the part and the performer match perfectly performance. Oh, this and Buster for, I'm like, the part and the performer match perfectly. Because James Corden does drive me like a big silly cat that likes to eat all the time. Yeah, like, in that love, garbage. Like, it's the reason that like, but also the reason that like, Alex Guinness can pull off Obi-Wan Kenobi, which is a silly character,

because he's an old man with magic powers that lives in the desert and takes a young man to a bar. Because it's like, oh, oh, this guy has years of weight on him from his past performances. It gives you a glimpse of the cats that might have been. But to your cowardly lion point, I think the thing is when you're being shown something that is so clearly representative of something but not trying to be realistic,

there is a musical theater works, like nobody's singing. But there are also, you know what, this is just the reality. So we're not going to try and make to be realistic. The reason musical theater works, like nobody's singing, but they're also like, you know what, this is just the reality, so we're not gonna try and make it seem realistic. It's just like the world of the show. This is like, they went out of their way to try and make it realistic, and so then you're like, well, now I can't take anything.

So yeah, the show, the movie would be better if, people were like, oh, there's this one guy in the crowd that they forgot to CGI into a cat. It was so much better. If the movie would be better, if it was just people wearing regular clothes. And that's why Ian McKellen, I think, like, oh, there's this one guy in the crowd that they forgot to CGI into a cat. It was so much better. If the movie wouldn't benefit, it was just people wearing regular clothes. And that's why Ian McKellen, I think, like, works really well is because he's wearing some of the most clothes of anyone. Like, he's at a scarf and a, like, shabby little coat.

And, like, his face, like, they did so much hair on the sides that it looks like an exaggerated cat. Yeah, it looks like a cat. I can't put it in. Yeah, it looks like a cat. No, it looks like a cat, but it also looks like an old man's like sideburn. Yes, exactly. And so I felt like he was the most sort of human like of the cats in terms of the design. And certainly most of his movements, I think he does some great little cat touches. But to play with what you guys were talking about, it's part of the idea of like these

like a blockbuster movie musical, especially in the like the era of digital effects is that there is a feeling of like, let's make it more realistic. Yeah. Let's make it feel less like something that you could go see on stage at your, I don't know, your local gymnasium or whatever. And I think it does it to service in some ways here and in other ways, it makes it great. That's what I was trying to get it earlier because I think that specifically, like blockbuster filmmaking, they almost feel this obligation.

They're like, okay, we're throwing a bunch of money at like a big property and good actors So we also have to like put a bunch of money into CGI fur, too. And it's like no, no, you don't you don't need to do that Well, here's the here's a then another question this raises in my mind, which is so there is a better version of this movie Which is not as CGI crazy and embraces the reality of the stage as opposed to the reality of, you know, special effects illusions. That is not a version of the movie that I think would have given me the same joy. Correct. Correct answer. Crazy nonsense flying around in front of my face because I like I got more genuine joy from this movie and I think any other movie I've seen I'm not gonna say all year because it's we're one week into the year.

Yes. But like in the past six months. So like, is it this movie? Like, is it, it's like the worst version of it, but I also, I got more out of it than I would have had of like a good straightforward. Yeah, well especially for people that like bad movies, I think there is an aspect of this that's like, it's so earnest because a lot of bad movies like try to have, try to pretend that they know what's going on. Also, it's hard for me. Like, I've talked about this, like, I've never gotten into the cult of the room because it feels cruel to me on some level. And I don't care about Tommy Wizo, but then there are like other people, well, especially for me as an actor

where I'm like, a lot of these people are just people that like wanted a job and like showed up and did a job and we're making fun of them as well. And like, it just really bums me out. This is like so many people with so much money and influence who are going to be fine. Like all committed to this thing that is so earnestly,

operatically bad and insane, but the flickers of the flickers of goodness in it, it's just like a whiplash inducing extravaganza and it's just like, you just feel so free. And I've also heard people argue who didn't have as good a time as we all obviously did, that like, oh, you know, okay, like, but everything that's crazy about the movie cats was, you know, basically crazy in the show cats. I'm like, yeah, I get where you're coming from

and I don't want to say that, like, those people can feel that way, but like, for me, like, you're not saying they can go, like, jump in a lake. You're saying the hike here. But for me, like, the interesting thing is, okay, they took this successful pre-existing material through a bunch of money in town at it, but then along the way made every decision wrong. Like every single decision wrong.

And I feel like maybe if you do everything wrong, it equals good movie. You're saying the movie shot the moon. Yeah. It lost so bad that it won. Exactly. Yeah. Well, it was bad in new ways, and that's exciting.

Yeah. Yeah. It is, I mean, say what you will love. Bad movie cocaine. Say what you will about Tom Hooper. I never saw Les Mis, the movie version of it. It's not good. It's not fun.

It's not fun in any way. This is the first time I've ever considered him a director with a creative vision. And I'm like, I love it. Yes, because mostly what I know from is the King's speech, which is like fine. Like a fine movie, it's nothing special. It's like, I remember seeing that movie

and I was like, that movie hit every note. I thought I was gonna hit and I'm fine with that. But so I was like, oh yeah, he makes those kinds of movies. And then to see this and it's like, oh no, no, there's things living in this. And this is like, not even a fever dream. And like a fever dream, like it's like, it's like, you're like, your brain just keeps rushing

and doing the same thing over and over again. With slight variations. Yeah. And to think that Jeffrey Rush was probably waiting as a stand-in for Gus, the theater cat, in the case Ian McKellen heard himself. Oh my God. So speaking of Ian McKellum heard himself. Oh my god. So speaking of Ian McKellum, Gus gets disappeared by McCavity because honestly Gus would probably

be my jellicle choice. Of course. And this one says McCavity. Yes, this is the second McCavity and this one is even more exaggerated. This one he goes, McCavity! Absolutely incredible. And then we get to my man, Skimble Shakes. Yay!

And what I love about this is there's like 20 minutes of sad shit and then it's like, and now Skimble Shakes, the fabulous tap dancing cat. And Munko Strap starts talking about this guy and I'm like, is he introducing himself? Who is this guy? Like, why are they introducing a new person at this point? Well, this character, so he was a background dancer in a bunch of the, when the ball started, and he's wearing red pants with suspenders over his cat chest,

and he's got a hat and a big handlebar mustache, and you're like, you better introduce me to this cat because you can not just doll up and extra dance. I'm not, no, who this team pun cat in here. He looks like he's in a cat strip review. Yes, he looks like Waluigi. He looks exactly like Waluigi. He looks exactly like Waluigi.

He's super sexy and very charismatic. And his whole sequence, I love, and his tap dancing is great. And it's almost like the movie is like, this is, it could be a tap dancing on film. It is like one of the most classic things a movie can do. Like it goes back to almost the beginning of film. It's certainly the beginning of sound film to watch tap dancing on screen. It's just the most basic cinema dancing you can do.

And it's like, so every now and then the movie is like, let's undercut it with some crazy shots, something else else real quick and then we'll go back to the day And my wife was getting so much pleasure out of the shots of him tap dancing on the rail lines And the other cats would be like watching his feet because that's exactly what cats do And they tap dance all the way out onto the train tracks on the river Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do that the train is gonna come. Yeah, it's gonna just splatter all these cash. I get anxious. There's also a big part in the song where it's like, and that lock on the door and all the cats go, woo, woo, and I love that part, that part. Really excellent. And then at the end of Skimble Shanks, the railway cat, he starts doing a spin, but then he starts spinning up into the air and everyone in the audience

is like, what's going on? And then he spins himself into freaking dust and it's like, cavity, cavity. And this time, the cavity says, enough of all. This spin into dust is a gif available on the internet. You need to seek it out. There's a moment. I need to know if there's a if there's a gift of it. I think it's from Tumtucker But there's a point where one of the cats is just like Like does like does that kind of gritted teeth like I don't think so and I want to use it so badly on Twitter Bradley on Twitter. Shanks can disappear to never and before anyone can even know what has become of Mr. Skimble Shanks.

Oh, there's some sensual music that starts happening and a crescent moon comes down from this guy. And you're like, oh man, whomops could this be but Taylor Swift who is wearing kitten heels, wink wink. And it has boobs has such prominent boobs and she is just maxing her relaxant on her crescent moon and she starts singing a whole song about McCavity. Yeah. And she's got like a bedazzled catnip cocktail shaker that she's she's sprinkling sparkly catnip which is making all the cats horny or tired I can't tell. Yeah it's about like a poppies a poppies in the Wizard of Oz type thing. Yeah not since

Val Kilmer casting drugs to the animal people of the island of Dr. Moro was I more weirded out and confused by the effect that this thing was happening. Also, this is one of my favorite stories now about cats, which is that Taylor Swift's dad had the idea for her to have catnip and apparently came to set, Taylor Swift gave an interview about this. Her dad came to set on one of the early days and was like, hey, like Taylor, like she should be cat nipping

everyone and like they, it makes them all go crazy. And Tom Hooper did not know what cat nip was. Oh wow. He's doing cats and he didn't know what cat nip was. Because I could only assume that's the only reason there was not already a cat nip gag in the movie. Yeah. Now, now I thought full credit to Taylor Swift's dad, but it doesn't surprise me that one of the great sadrists of the English language, Jonathan Switt, would come up with an idea like that. He said, Director Hooper, I have a modest proposal

for you about this scene. I love Taylor Swift in this movie because you just get such a clear picture. She is such a mean girl who likes the VHS of cats and makes you watch it at her sleepovers. Yes. And if you fall asleep, she's going to put water in. This is, it's like you can see her as a little girl bossing her other friends around to be her backups for her choreographed version of this song. But I think that's the right feel for this

character for what's her name? Bumble or a Bambaliorina? Hey, man, I was having a great time. I was slink it around in my seat at this point. Also Taylor Swift was the first person cast in this movie. Taylor Swift was the first person Tom Hooper asked because she was almost happening inating in like this and I guess this was like Tom Hooper's sort of olive branch or I'll give this to you in steps. Well, that would have been a nightmare. This was for Mary Poppins to Julie Andrews for missing out on my family.

Exactly, exactly. I don't know if it's something that I guess it was. It was. It was. Absolutely. To you. But why, I mean, is this character, like, shouldn't she have been like, old dude or out of me,

or grizzabella or something? What do you mean? I don't know. It's like, this is the first person cast. It's like a weird role to cast first. But I feel like Jenny is right. I feel like Jenny's on to something in that. Like, if there's a filmed version of the show,

and this song in the show is like, it's two women in the show that are doing it together. But Bombayrina is one. And like, she's like, the hottest cat, she's like, the young hot cat on the scene, and like, it's belty, it's like a huge number. And like, it becomes this like, huge female empowerment number by the end, because none of the men sing it in the show like it just becomes when it when there's that huge build all of the female cats just like crowd around her and are just her backups. And I could see how if you grew

addicted to cats yeah, you'd be like I'm Bambalurina. And also they could like it seems clear to me that everyone who was associated with cats like the bigger stars came and did their Stuff and then pieced out and so I feel like it was an easier Ask for Taylor Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah In Cat London. Yeah, it's in her trailer waiting for her scene Like this big show piece number and then piece out. And this is where they list all of McCavity's qualities, right? Yes, including that he's broken every human law. Okay.

Every human law. And so, and this is when we get to the after the after the war, which is weird because he doesn't sing. I'm sorry, you made the joke earlier, but now I'm just really thinking about the ramifications. Every human law, every human crime, oh he's done terrible things. McCavity has done horrible things, but also kind of silly things. But this is after the mice babies, this is the second most terrifying sight to me is, as we mentioned, when McCavity appears with no trench coat,

and he just looks like he's just a castrated man. Yeah, it's horrible. It's a really sims and shorn moment. Like if we had seen Idris Elba, that naked the whole movie it would have been one thing. But because we've been shown Idris Elba in a hat and trench coat, he maintained the level of dignity. And then the Cavity is making the truth to him. And the Cavity is the one that's like, this is my big number. I've got to take it off. And feel like of the performers he doesn't quite have the same pipes as everyone else maybe I'm just being a jerk

no he sings for a second in the first his first appearance and he's like the cavity is a bad cat and a monster oh at a monster. Oh, it happened. Just things for us. I'm getting like, what's going on? But yeah, he's so naked at the end of his number. At the end of his number, his big number ends. They've made a whole light up staircase happen. And at the end of it, Deuteronomy walks up

and McCavity is like, well clearly I won, I'm the best one. And Judy Dad says no. And then he magics her away, old Deuteronomy is gone, oh no, it's very sad. It's very sad. I'm gonna do Deuteronomy. Yeah, the best song in the movie. Time for the best song in the movie.

But also before that they go to the barge and my favorite line happens, which is they try to force Deuteronomy to walk the plank. And he says, just make me the, make me the jellical choice. Just say it's me and then we can all go home. And Judy Dunge turns around and with every bit of grotto toss she has, she goes,

you will never be my childhood choice. Mm-hmm. No. But I have to assume that, I mean, again, she was almost gonna be in cat, so on the stage when she was younger, but I assume after being in the Chronicles of Riddick, she was like, I'll say whatever,

just give me whatever dumb line I'll say it. And you will never be my jellicult choice, but then we go back to the Egyptian theater, which is where they're having the jellicle ball. And none of them know how they're going to get old, old-dute back. This is when Mungo Jerry calls her old-dute. And Victoria is like,

well, Miss Stoffelese can do magic. And the song, Magical Mr. Miss Stoffelese, which in the show is just Miss Stoffle's being arrogant and singing about himself now in this movie becomes like we all got a psych up Mr. Mastapha Lee's and I gotta say there's something about the way it shot where like he's standing on the stage with the footlights on him and the cats are kind of like gathered around some like from below that it really felt to me that suddenly the movie of cats transformed into a high school production of cats.

That is really feeling. Yes. It's so confusing because McCavity had disappearing powers and stuff, but Miss Stoffelese really just had like the magic he had was like cars. Yeah, it's all parlor magic. Yeah. It's not like it's weird that she's like, oh he had was like cars. It's all parlor magic. Yeah, it's not like it's weird that she's like, oh, he does magic.

You could probably do other kinds of magic. That's because Victoria is somewhat brain damage to from being tossed out of a car. Yeah, honestly, she got tossed out with vigor. I'm mad. So yeah, this is very like 70s. There's a little bit of rock to it, right? It's a little bit of swing.

I'm just gonna go and say not a fan of this song. Really? Wow. We were so on board. The audience that we saw was singing and swaying with it. But that's, you know what? Maybe it's just because this plus the dude. And you guys are in Hollywood, right? It's full of.

The only things I knew about it. So when it finally showed up, I was like, oh yeah, this song. Whereas every other song was a delightful new discovery. Like opening up an oyster and finding not a pearl, but some kind of like a squid's eyeball. With a cat face on it. With a cat face. Yeah.

I'll say, I don't listen to this song on its own ever, but in the experience of watching it in the theater with an audience, it's one of my favorites in the context of watching the thing. Natalie, that comment raises way more questions. I think that it's so great in an audience. I'm imagining Natalie the gym. Listen to all the cats on. Yeah, listen to Skippleshakes on the trap.

I guess that makes sense, you're right. But I do think it makes sense that this place so well with an audience because it is that moment of kind of like Clap your hands and take your bow will come back to life. Yeah, it's exactly that and everyone everything in this movie is so dumb but at this point No matter how dumb it is everyone is somehow bought a into it and they're like yes yes do your magic all of the people by this point in the movie that hate the movie and wouldn't have been on board have walked out and everyone that's left has let the movie happen to them and are just luxurious. So he well I should mention what the the baby mice come back while he's singing his song and there's a bizarre moment where he like

lifts off his hat and there's mice on his head and one of them falls to the ground and screams away and no one seems to notice. It was like so did they just like add that in like Sergio Ergonus margin cartoon style after they made the movie and no one knew it was going to be there. Like it was just so strange to me. The mice were all upset about it too. Yeah, they were not happy. Yeah, they were horrifying.

Yeah, and then he just puts his hat back on over the remaining two miles and is like, shut up. I'll leave you later. It was at that moment that I was like, oh, this is the movie Tim and Eric should have made. Instead of the movie, they did make. Yes. But he does it. They managed to get his confidence up.

Yes. They have a magic Judy drench right on back. They think they didn't think they didn't magic back all due it. But then she's standing right behind them. Yeah. It's she sings a verse. Yeah, she does sing a verse.

And when we first hear Judy Dungeons' voice in the verse, I did gasp aloud at the premiere to a point where there was like a smattering of laughter at me being shocked when everyone knew who was that. They even speak telegraphs so intensely and yet I was overwhelmed. So after this like seven minute song where they only sing with his name, his magical, magical, magical stuff, it is just a forever.

Max Ash pointed out the funniest moment in the movie is Munkestrap then at the end saying, and now we are introducing Max because this is too stuff. Okay. Oh is that what we were doing? Oh, this too is stuff. Oh, is that what we were doing? Oh, this whole time? It's like Lucas Strap was in the bathroom during the song.

And he just is cute. And he just came out like, yeah, high school play style and just yelled his line onto the stage no matter what was going on. I think this was around when I went to the bathroom during the movie because I held it for so long, because I had no concept of where I was in the movie. Yeah, physical space.

Oh my god. Meanwhile on the boat, we've, our, our, Busterfer and Jenny and he does, they use their powers to defeat Gral Tiger and knock him into the water and he's dead, I guess. Oh, and the final thing of it, they like do most of the work and then Gus, the theater cat, goes to the plank in front of Girl Tiger and scares him off by recreating the performance that he talked about all through his song which is the fiend of the foul and he does this by going I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You can't tell what he's saying. I'm sorry.

This is one of many things that totally eluded me the first time I saw the movie. And then it opens like a flower to me the second time. The thing of the thing. That was- There were- Like I knew- I could understand- It was like Shakespeare.

I could understand the gist of what he was talking about. But if you ask me the specifics, I'd be like, I don't know. It's like he's clearly re-creating the thing you still, but I don't know what it is. I don't know what he means. Did we also mention that the way Jenny and Eda escapes by ripping off another skill soon? Yes.

Either she has constantly regenerating our skin. Where she was wearing several different layers of her paint dance. Elliot, she suggested all of the cast. Yes, Elliot, to suggest anything but the first thing is horrifying and horrible. And Matrio's got cat. There's something about wearing a skin suit from another person that is terrifying.

But then wearing multiple skin suits, all I could think about is how sweaty you would get underneath. This feels gross. Handle the planning involved. Oh man. And you got a tailor of the ones on the outside to be bigger than the ones on the inside so it fits over.

You don't have a lot of time to have to swiftly tailor them. So it's a little bit like in the in the while like in the cartoons where it's the it's the wolf and the sheep and their eat they've each dressed up as each other and they continue to remove their costumes until at the end of the wolf is holding a stick of dynamite Yeah, wait that's a stick of dynamite was walking around just as a sheep But it's the wolf and the sheep dog and they're wearing each other's skin anyway, it's great cut great cartoon All the drama is back and luckily it's now time for memory. The song we've all been waiting for, Victoria finally, like she goes out, she brings back

in Jennifer Hudson and the lead into memory, the way memory starts is Victoria just looks at Jennifer Hudson and goes, sing and then memory happens. Audience surrogate says, sing, Jim Brunson. Yeah, the only way it could have been better is if during the middle of the song, a cat off to the side of the stage had picked up a phone and said, said uncle Andrew, it's your nephew. Gary, Gary Lloyd Weber, I'm a cat. Anyway, he's a song even looking more and then it held up the old phone

Yeah, when Jim and the phone would be very strangely proportioned for the cats body Cats to pick up the phone and he's in how to the little real time a small like a phone in top secret No, yeah, when Jennifer Hudson hits her big dramatic note at the end of this song that was the second genuine applause break in my theater. Yeah, that key change moment, that big modulation. It's so satisfying. She sounds incredible. She adds like a little bit of a growl on the all alone with the memory. So like it's just adding like enough of her own sort of spin on that song. It's just great. It's just great. They also, there's not a lot of funny camera stuff going on.

There's nothing it's like right on her face and due to her out of these things. Just let her do the thing and she does the thing and I cried. Oh, how I cried. It's like the difference between a movie that is throwing all sorts of crazy junk at you and a movie that is like all sorts of crazy junk at you and a movie

that is like, oh, there are things that are like genuinely like entertaining performance things, like singing beautifully or tap dancing, where it's like, it's enough to just put that on screen so you can see it and that's enough to make the movie. But every other scene, it's like, uh, I don't feel confident that this is going to hold the audience's attention. So maybe there should be trombones and flowers flying around the screen. Yep. And so you reminded me of a, oh wait, sorry, you reminded me of a, there's a Louis Malle documentary called God's Country that's about this little, the small rural town. And there's a scene where it's just a, it's just a wedding.

And the people are dancing at the wedding. And there was something about like, oh, this being on film suddenly shows me how special it is. Like if I was seeing it in real life, I might not realize how much it, how captivating it is, just in its existence. And that song, it's like that. I think if I saw it in a theater, it might not have hit me, maybe because it's a person singing it in real life. But like, on film, it's just like, oh, this is all it is.

And it's still so singing it in real life. Like on film it's just like, oh, this is all it is and it's still so Captivating like and to put it on film so simply is like they finally they knew what they were doing for once And it's a fairly simple song. Yeah, they let it be her I dream to dream moment. Yeah, yeah it works and she kills it. She wins. Yeah, the gelical ball. She is Judy that just gelical choice And also it's very, it becomes a backlash of going back to how bad the movie is after this genuinely good and like sort of tasteful moment is that right after this happens, they force everyone to start doing like cat moments of

affection with each other and start just like rubbing each other as like a way of saying good job on the song. And you're the technical It's bunching they go like they're about to kiss each other, but then their heads like jerk away at the last minute. Yes, yes, and she gets into the, I guess the vehicle that takes you to the heavy side layer, which is a hot air balloon attached to a chandelier. Yeah, Mr. Mustafa lights all the candles and she floats up and there's a moment here where I was like, and then McCavity is like, no, me, me, and he tries to hang on to it and falls off above Trafalgar Square.

And for a moment, I was like, are we in Steve McCavity like slamming against the pavement and dying? Me too! Well, it's also like this is like this dramatic moment and like Idris Elba, like Idris Elba cat jumps on to like, you know, a straight police of cloth coming off of this and it's like a moment from Marmaduke or something. Like, it becomes a totally different movie. And then he tries. He tries to Shaw or something. He tries to say his final magic phrase,

is he tries to use ineffable one more time, and it doesn't work. And then he goes, rot, rot. Oh, yeah. I feel like, oh no, I guess he's not magic anymore. I guess this entire experience has taken away his ability to do magic. Yeah, I thought I saw cartoon sweat drops appear on his forehead.

Now, now I wish he had hit the ground and then went me out. But instead, he just falls on the top of Nelson's column, right? Yeah. And all the cats have gathered around the lines of Trafalgar Square, which is what we got. Which are cats. Which are cats too. The what, you're lying to cats too. What really got me here is I was like could they not get a photograph of Trafalgar Square like it's this crazy CGI Trafalgar Square and the cats look like they're made out of iron

that lines look like they're made of Irish Spring soap like they're so bright and green and everything is so weird looking I was like this is a real place like you didn't need to like crazy it up just stick some cats around there come on Yeah, and it is at this point that Even though there has been no fourth wall breaking the entire movie Judy Dench suddenly looks straight into your eyes and makes you explicit in everything that has been happening. On the second watch of this, I noticed that Munga Strap is very aware of her going directly to the audience and keep looking at her quizzically and it becomes flea back. Yeah, so it's the same thing as it seems.

I wanted to say about the reaction. Where did you just go? I wanted to say about the reaction shots. They stay on this close. It's a tight shot, but they still have all four actors on camera at the same time. They've got two cats on one side, two cats on the other side.

Old Deuteron, Veronica is one of the middle cats. And she's delivering this long speech to the audience, and they have absolutely nothing to do. So they're just staring at her very, very intensely while squirming around. And it looks like all the actors are like pre-orgasmic or something. It's very weird if you start paying attention to them.

It was so strange to see so the end shot of this movie should be that the chandelier is going off into the sky. All the cats like wave goodbye. And then big music, big music rise, and then it's out in the credits. But it's like the movie is over. And then Judy Dungeons like looks the cats like wave goodbye and then big music big music rise and then it's out in the credits But it's like the movie is over and then Judy then just like looks the camera like all right Let's go over what we learned How we ended up here? Well, this is a tell you two things about cats Ellie was in part of the happening during the credits

This is the part of the movie that is for people who wandered in thinking it was a cats instructional video for like owning cats Like how you're supposed to treat a cat? Yeah, she's like, they sing about how cats are not dogs. And I'm like, seems pretty fundamental. Maybe you should open the movie with that one. But it felt like, to me, like the end of Thor Ragnarok, where the movie is over, but Tyco with TD's character is still joking around.

And I was like, movie, you're over. Like just show me some credits, get out of here. But I guess this and each time Judy Dench finishes a verse of this song, you're like, ah, and the song is over. And they all say, oh, I'm key. I'm key. Oh, but it's like, it feels like a bit I would do. Where the song, like just keeps going.

I mean, everything you think it's over, she starts singing it. And I just imagine the Dan cat being like, goddamn, I'm going to, Dan, like come on. Yes, because it is panned out, and then it goes right back to close-up. And it's like she doesn't aggressive turn right back to us. It's like it pans out and you're like,

oh, thank God, that part is over. I felt very put on display. I felt like I was in the play, and I didn't want to be in the play. You know what, my guess is maybe they saw the movie of Into the Woods where that final song about her children will listen for some reason was just over the a wide shot and then the end credits and not really in the movie. And they were like, we're not doing that.

Every song is on camera. We are not we're maybe they're look we are not skimping on it. Maybe Tom Hooper saw maybe Tom Hooper saw funny games that he's like, that's what I want to do. Make the audience feel like they're in the action. And then they finally finished that song and Judy. And we think it's done. And then Judy Dentra reminds us that, oh, the storyline

that has been imposed on the film is will Victoria have become a gelical cat I wonder and then she tells her that she's a gelical cat a dear little cat that was Rosebud all along. And we get the final shot of the movie which I love which is just another wide shot of that shandle-leer balloon, flying up to space, look at the cat with a zoomably diolone. I want gravity with Jennifer Hudson. It shimmers away with magic.

And we know that she's made it to the heavy side later. Which I soon turns out to be a place where Alph eats cats. Like, he's just melmack and they're gonna eat her. All this whole time, this whole time old deuronami's just been working for the melmackians, just like helping them get supplies of cats and it's terrible. Friendly Fire is a podcast about war movies, but it's so much more than that. It's history. It's comedy. It's cinema studies.

So subscribe and download Friendly Fire on your podcast or at MaximumFund.org. And also come see us at San Francisco Sketchfest on January 16th. You can get tickets at sfsketchfest.com. Hi, I'm Ali Gertz. And I'm Julia Prescott. And we host Round Springfield. Round Springfield is a new Simpsons podcast that is Simpsons adjacent. In its topic, we talk to Simpsons writers, is Simpsons adjacent in its topic.

We talk to Simpsons writers, directors, voice over actors, you name it about non-Simpsons things that they've done because, surprise, they're all extremely talented. Absolutely. For example, David Excoen worked on the Simpsons, but then created a little show called Futurama. That's our very first episode. So tune in for stuff like that with Yardley Smith,

with Sim Long, with different writers and voice actors. It's gonna be so much fun. And we are every other week on MaximumFun.org, or wherever you get your podcasts. Guys. Guys, I'm sorry that my synopsis was like so long that I wanted to talk to you. Yeah, you're the, you're the blame.

It's not the interruptions. I never wanted to talk so much about it. Yeah, you're you're to blame. It's not the interruptions. I never wanted to talk so much about the uh I have a lot of questions about what the premiere audience. Oh, yeah, she how they reacted to this. It's time for our roving entertainment reporter Natalie Walker. She's our premiere princess. I'm sort of I'm gonna make

room for recommendations as you know the show, but I'm gonna say that this behind the scene stuff takes the place of letters Let's Well, there never was Say into this episode of flop house Cats right now Tell us about the premiere of cats right now. And Havana's a bum. Natalie, what else about the premiere? Cats right now, which she attended a few weeks ago. Havana, what was it like to see this movie?

Yeah, it's coming up in this melody for the first time. I can't afford the hats. I'm using great sound here. Oh my god. OK, so Natalie Walker is a curious cat. I'm gonna have some music right down here. Oh my god, okay. So, Natalie Walker is a curious cat. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. No. First of all, right before the premiere, I got drinks with Lin-Manuel Miranda, who is who I went with because his wife had no interest in seeing cats

and he had seen how unhinged I was about the trailers online and he was like, you seem like you have the right mindset about this movie. That was a connection I was curious with. Yeah, well we had like, I had watched Fossy Verden at his house when he was like doing that every week, having different like groups over and so he knew I wasn't a murderer.

And then I like did a workshop that he is working on in the fall and so he knew that I could be around industry people and not murder them. So that was the... We've talked to him briefly through the the auspices of the Macrois, a very, very, very nice human being and and very publicly nice. So we will not ask you what his reaction is. Exactly. But I'm curious about everyone else's. So we got. My wife has talked to him about George Whipple many times.

We got drinks before and he had gotten a full dinner but I got there a little later. And there was a group from Universal at the table next to us and they had made a big point of coming over and being like Oh, like Lynn, we're so we of your stuff, except mine. We won! My one, they took care entirely of Lynn, and they left my single cocktail to fend for itself. Wow. Wow. So funny to just sort of be like, we don't know who that is, so fuck that.

But then we... Wow, what was it like being the Grisabella of that moment? Yeah, absolutely. I felt like I had been absolutely hissed at. I had to crawl over to Lincoln Center for the premiere, actually. Lincoln was like, well, you know what you got to do. So we go to the premiere and I want to.

So that double long island iced tea you had to pay for. Yeah, I think so. So I'm sort of like wearing to go. We get to our seats. And I'm looking in front of us and they're, first of all, our row is like Andrew Lloyd Webber's daughter is right there and then like the Neaterlander family who own like half of the Broadway theater.

Like it's just insane row and I'm like, Natalie, please don't embarrass yourself tonight. Please don't do anything insane. Like keep it together. Do you know that gasp when Judy did start singing? Yes, exactly. So I look, oh my god. So then I look in the row in front of us and there's this like 10 empty seats and I'm like,

wow, I guess a lot of people bailed on cast. And then I realized as it was starting that that was the cast seats and they were all going to be sitting right in front of us. And I was like, oh no, I have to chill out. But before it started, Tom Hooper goes on stage and introduced like all of the cast and that's when he said like this person is the first person that I cast in its Taylor Swift

and I was like, you cast Bob Bellurina first, like okay. the first person that I cast in its Taylor Swift. And I was like, you cast Bob Bellurina first, like, okay. Um, and then he, and then he says, uh, and now like two consummate clowns, Rebel Wilson and James Corden. Rebel Wilson walks out and everyone is sort of confused and looking around. And Tom clearly whispers like off my like, James. And then Rebel, uh, Rebel user, Mike, and it's just like, my like James and then rebel on rebel use her mic and is just like oh James

has had enough and Everyone's laughing because we think it's a bit and he's gonna come out soon because he was At the premiere and he was photographed on the carpet and fully no he never came out He apparently left right after the red carpet Yeah, and then Tom Hooper starts talking more about the movie and he says it's really about the perils of tribalism and the importance of acceptance. And then he brings out Andrew Lloyd Webber and introduces Andrew Lloyd Webber as like the reason all of us are here.

Andrew Lloyd Webber walks out and makes a point to say, I haven't even seen this movie yet, so I really feel that even though I wrote the music and he's trying to say it in a way where he clearly wants everyone to perceive it as a magnanimous thing. But what he ends up saying is, and Magnanimous thing. But what he ends up saying is, so at the end of the day, I think that really more even than my project, this is Tom's movie. And it's just like. So it's like, it comes off like Tom Wolf taking out

those ads after Bonfire the Vanities came out. It was like, I didn't have anything to do with this movie. I think this is his thing. I assume you're gonna say that he comes out and be like, uh, I don't know what he was talking about. This is just to play about cats. Because like that's what he's always said. Yeah, it's like the famous Hal Prince,

Halitz about cats story where Hal Prince was like, who is this, who are the like political stand-ins for these cats? I'm so intrigued and I don't ever just said Halitz about cats. So who is so vague? See, I don't know why I didn't think about this before, but him bringing about and being like the person who I'm here, it makes me think that like,

Android Webber is the Stanley of cats, and I wish now that he had a cameo in the movie as like a dog catcher who's like, doing what I can to help you cats wink and then like, oh, we could have been the dog. I remember I could have been the dog. a dog catcher who's like, doing what I can to help you catch, wink, and then like, run, oh. Or he could have been the dog. Everyone I've ever could have been the dog. That might have been him. So then the movie starts and already were sort of like,

the perils of tribalism thing, like Tom Huber was clearly taking it so seriously in his speech before that everyone was a little anxious about how we were expected to perceive this cat. And it starts and thankfully, I mean, Jellicle songs is such a crazy song that is notoriously insane. And so it starts and we're all sort of like, yeah, like party song, like this is fun. This is silly a little bit. We're like laughing and sort of trying to

enjoy it audibly. And then after gelical songs happened, it became increasingly clear over the next like three minutes that the movie was expecting us to take it very seriously. And then it just was sort of eerily silent for most of the movie. There were like, titters of laughter when Rebel Wilson appeared and was like scratching herself, and at some of the improv, but for most of the movie, everyone was just like, stoic, misstufflies, nothing. Everyone was just sort of sitting on their hands. It was really, really wild. And then that final, when you

don't know that Judy Densch is gonna look at you, that energy in the room, it was absolutely insane. It was all that anyone was talking about at the after party. Look, that's what they say. At the after party, all people were talking about what we were like, what did you do when Judy Dunshew looks like? Like how did you perceive it? Judy Dunshew's like, I know why you're here. Yeah. You think this is funny, don't you?

Yes. And we're people lining up to talk to top hoop or after some people. Well, you know what? The screen was very clean. It was all. They had like a big table at the after party. And I didn't realize like how famous win is.

And so this like woman like ran over and was like, Andrew and Tom want you to come over to their table now. And I was like, I can't go there right now. I had three wines during that movie, and I am too scared of what I will do and say. And so I stayed away from that entire vicinity. But I will say Jennifer Hudson walked by me looking gorgeous and I screamed, you're iconic. And she seemed to, she was really nice, she was like, oh really thank you so much.

She seemed very genuinely touched and so I love you Jennifer Hudson. She didn't like the show ever. I saw her once. School yardier or something. Yeah. I would, I, one time, I was like having this like really bad weekend and I ended up being at Target in West Hollywood at like 11 p.m. on a Saturday and I in this target too. I must be living my best life. She was just like so cool and glamorous. She really is.

She's iconic. She's iconic. She's iconic. She's like, I can say, I was running into her in a cool party to lend my mom a brand-in by YouTube. Target is better. I think Target is better than the Cats Party. There's less existential crisis involved at a target

I feel. To see Jennifer Hudson just pricing out generic brand toilet paper like that is just inspiring, you know. It's so inspiring. Jennifer, you're an Oscar winner. You don't have to get Scott. You can get Sharman ultra soft even. Um, is there more stuff? I don't. So you're saying, so you think the people at the premiere weren't like, it would love it. This is great. You got to hit on your hands. Everyone was kind of aware that it was a crazy mess.

Yes. Everyone was aware that it was a crazy mess, but also like a lot of people were already sort of being like, this is going to be a really fun movie to go watch with friends later. Mm hmm. Um, there was a cast cast doing during the movie? How were they reacting? I did not clock what they were doing. I was so overloaded with anxiety

about how I was coming off that I feel like I didn't really clock them because I was just like, please don't embarrass yourself in front of the shiny celebrities. It is, it is a little bit also like the sun is exploding in front of your face and there's like a kid doing a cute thing. I don't know what the kid was doing. The sun was exploding in front of me. Yes, exactly, exactly. I have never been so hyper aware of myself in a space while also being attacked with, I look had no idea what anyone else around me was dealing with. I could only, only like the audible things I could really pick up on, but

I wish that I had locked down more often at, at Miss T. Swift. You didn't want to be the one like leading the audience in like a group cheer. Right. The closest I came was that gasp for Judy Dentch, because I kind of thought we all were going to be like, wow, he did it. And instead it was holding me. I was fist bumping during Jellicle Cats, which did lead like a very old man in the row behind me

to come up to me after and was like, I like watching you more than the movie. Aw, this is a very sweet old man thing to say, because I really was like during the high energy moments, I was trying to be like, yeah! Yes, sure! There was a man in my row who was dressed up as Grisabella, which I thought was the correct vibe.

It was like a floor length, fur and full on. I'm assuming they did not play trailers before the movies. So you didn't get, for me, as they don't have the trailer, you didn't get, well, they didn't show trailer for in the heights. The coming, the time hoopers, like, thank you so much. Thank you to everyone.

My big production, this is a movie I've spent years on, Cats. But first, what else is coming through with you, like an electronic trailer? It's Christmas. That would be great. Also, he did say that he finished the movie at 9 a.m. the day before. Oh, wow. He's like, that was a cool thing to hear before. Yeah, so much speed right now.

Something of this magnitude. Look guys, I don't want to do a traditional final judgments, because I think we all The thing that you're before So much speed right now. It's magnitude Look guys, I don't want to do a traditional final judgments because I think we all really all like it ourselves But I will do that. It's not weird loved seeing this um But I just want to say like I want to give a little space for some like Final like outpouring about cats because I want I want to I will tell the story I came on from cats having a great time with stew and Shirley and Audrey as I was going to bed the I you know I have sleep at Diaz we as many know I the last day you're down the sleep apnea cat the last thing before there's a certain cat who doesn't sleep well. Sleeping for him is a sort of a hell.

He's danously badly a cat. What's that machine on that cat's face? No, but like, so like I make a decision, you know, like I'm going to bed. This is the last thing I'm going to say before I put a mask on my face. And I said, I wonder what dreams about cats will have tonight. And then the neck, the first thing I said the I said, I wonder what dreams about cats they'll have tonight. And then the first thing I said the next morning was, it was something about cats.

I can't remember what it was, I was not that hungry. But like, she has videos of me like two days afterwards hysterically laughing about the word jellicle and why they kept saying it over and over again. Like me singing songs, these were like half secretly taken, maybe I'll post them after the thing comes out. But like, my social media was all that cast, I just descended into cat madness.

You did get cat scratch fever, Dan. Twitter was just about cat. But I have not laughed at something so hard and had such a fun time in years and years and years. And you have to just like face yourself at a certain point If you've had that good a time watching a movie you just like that movie. Yeah. Yeah You know what? Dan, I'm gonna suggest we skip straight to recommendation because my recommendation for this episode is cats Like I think it's the first time I've ever said you know what movie?

I'm gonna recommend the one we talked about this movie we got it people got to go out and see I would recommend seeing cats while you can see it in the theater yeah that is not expressly a call and response thing because when we went to out we went to Alamo in LA last night and the showing after ours was the quote-unquote rowdy screening and they are already starting to do the like call and response type things. But I think it's really fun to go with a group of people where some people might still be there to see cat.

You want to be part of that legendary first generation film. Do you want the assholes to get shushed when Jennifer Hudson does their solo? When these two fucking nuts acts sitting behind me at once, like right in the final scene of the movie, one of the guys like, this is gonna be the next Rocky Horror picture show, and I'm like, not if you're fucking there, dude. Yeah. Oh, you wanna see it when you're laughing

and somewhere behind you goes, show Skimble Shanks some respect. Yeah. No, but I, yeah, I came to a realization. I'm just like, you know, I could see this movie again and again. I, I kind of want to own it when it comes out. I want to watch all of the special features. I want the commentary.

I want everything. I want to, you want that criterion collection? Yeah, I want to consume everything about this. They're like, there will be moments where I'm going about my day and just images from this movie pop into my head and it just makes my whole day. When I think of it, I'm just getting my skin skin spinning into dust. It makes me laugh so much.

I will just be in the fell when I, like, the way that I could not get through it even on this podcast, there was like a whole day we're out of nowhere. I started thinking about it on the street and I had to stop and get into like I crouch down in the middle of the sidewalk because it was making me laugh so hard. Classic man-hat moment. It's true that it's like the most joy that I can possibly have. There's something about this. It's like seeing cats is the first time I really felt like I understand the characters in ringu Or it's like oh, yeah, they saw something and it infested their brain. Yeah, do you like anything like stumbling out of that theater I was like how do I just go on and do normal stuff like it's so boring

I mean yeah, that's cats guys I mean, yeah, that's cats, guys. You look at the cats world, we're just living. I have a recommendation. It feels kind of antichromatic, but it does sort of tie into musical theater. That's cool. That's cool. What?

She says she also has a reaction. I have a reaction that ties in as well. You're not alone. It's not so. It's not five recantions for cats. I would like to recommend. I just can't remember having ever seen another movie. I would like to recommend there's, uh, a documentary called

best worst thing that could have happened. Is that your recommendation? It's literally my recommendation. Yeah, holy shit. It's a perfect title for this movie as well. Well, we can talk about it, uh, sort of in tandem. Then it's, you know, it's about, um, the production, the original production of, of, Mary, we's about the production, the original production of

Marley We Were All Along, the Steven Sondheim musical that legendarily closed it. It was like six days or eight days or so. Yeah, yeah, and it was in 1981. So it's coming off of the huge success of Sweeney Todd. It was him and Hal Prince. This movie basically like destroyed their working relationship. This musical basically destroyed their working relationship a little bit. It was like a really personal loss for Hal Prince because his daughter was in it, he cast his daughter in this cast because it's this musical that goes backward in time and sort of long before the last five years and and especially before that became a more popular structure

for most movies and musicals, but it was a colossal failure because you're supposed to be tracking the trajectory backwards of this group of friends, and you meet them when they're these unbelievably bitter, cynical, middle-aged people. And then you go backwards. So the finale of the show is meeting them as these like bright-eyed bushy-tailed college kids. But the conceit of the show, they cast all of these like 20-year-olds because they cast it like it was going to start when they're 20. And so then the show began with seeing 20 year olds in like drawn on wrinkles, like old person cosplay, like doing this stuff.

And it just is such a failure, but the lead guy also had like filmmaker aspirations and thought this was going to be a huge deal. So he took a ton of behind-the-scenes footage during the rehearsal process. Yeah, and you may know, you may know the director of this film as the guy who wants to be a Broadway producer in the Muppets Take Manhattan, the human being male lead in that. Not a devilnie Coleman. No. But he said human being Elliott. But the thing about this, the thing about the documentary is because

these people were basically kids when they're a cast and they're like they're old people now looking back on their career and looking back on this experience. It's like the flipping the musical, you know, it's not, you know, young people playing old people looking back, it's old people actually looking back at the time that they're young people playing old people looking back. And so there's all this like genuine, you know, emotional feeling about the way time passes and what it means. And also it's interesting to see like, they're very successful people in the cast. Jason Alexander was in the cast. John Carlo Espicito was in the

New York cast. Yeah. And then there are people for whom this kind of was a dead end in their career. And both of those groups of people have major regrets about their lives. And it's sort of in a depressing way. Like it shows that, you know know you can do anything with your life and still kind of look back on these things with regret but still also you know have wonderful memories I don't know yeah even if you're all alone in the moonlight yeah No, it's just great. Yeah, I'm also I'm so glad that that was yours too. That's funny. It's a really good one It's available to watch on Netflix anytime. It's really, really excellent and heartbreaking. And also the score of Mary Lee We Roll Along is great.

So there was a very good song for you and Mary Lee We Roll Along, Elliot. You would do a very good Franklin Shepherd Inc. He would be an awesome Franklin Shepherd Inc. I've been saying it three years. I love Mary Lee. It's one of those shows that I've always been meaning to listen to music and I just have it.

It was one of my high school yearbook quotes. I was deeply unpopular. No, it was one of mine. What a time to be starting out. What a time to be alive. I like that song very much. No, really. And I saw a...

What I think is a pretty good production of the musical recently, but I don't really like the musical that much, despite liking a lot of sometimes stuff, but the documentary on it made me appreciate it a lot more. I also recommend that there's a video of Raleigh Sparza doing Franklin Chopper Inc. That is, I think the best version of the song. I think you'll relate to it because it's about somebody who cannot stand their writing partner. And that is very much our relationship.

I mean, but finally, someone's put my thoughts and feelings and delirious music. Yeah, outside of, I don't know, when it comes to my recommendation this week, outside of Disney pluses on core, I don't have much musical theater related. But we have to do it. It's great. Between younger, the last time we started on the show. We'll do our younger podcast and then our encore podcast.

I'm going to recommend a classic steward movie. I'm going to recommend the 2019 remake of the movie Black Christmas. This is a, you know, the original Black Christmas was a foundational slasher movie. It was remade back in what like 2001 or two. And it was recently remade. It was co-written by a friend of the Flop House and Max Fun alum April Wolf. It is a kind of a modern take on the sorority slasher. It's fun. It's gross.

And it provides a different perspective on that kind of a horror movie. I don't want to go to into the plot. And I also recommend not watching the trailer because it kind of goes to into the plot. But if you get a chance, if you like horror movies and you also are interested in watching horror movies from a female perspective, I would totally check out Black Charismas. Anyone else who just cats? Jenny, do you have a, oh, sincerely just cats. Okay, that's two for cats. Yeah. All right. I feel like just cats is underselling it, Dan. Oh, I mean, I- Only cats.

It was my theatrical- Forever cat experience. It's a experience of the decade. Just while it's still in theaters, go in theaters. Go have that experience. The image that was on all the ads and the posters is like these two cat size and the pupils are people dancing. And it's like, I feel like that's what my eyes must look like all the time.

Is this just cats dancing in them constantly? I want to go again. It was like a ride. Yes. and it's like, I feel like that's what my eyes must look like all the time. This is just cat's dancing and they're constantly. I want to go again. It was like a ride. Yes. Oh, also please watch. There's a commercial for the Broadway production of cats where they did like a tie-in against drunk driving. And it's all the cats warning people against drunk driving.

And they're like, if you're a drunk driver, you could kill a child, a child, a child. Please, don't let a child be just a memory. Like it's insane. And I hope that you do that as the play out of this because really just the audio even will give it to you. It's incredible. It's incredible.

Everything related to cats is my life. Now cats is my God and my disease. Well we'll quickly do some you know just plugging some show and network before saying goodbye to everyone and thanking our guests but you know go to maximumfund.org listen to the other shows on our network they're all wonderful. I don't know, switchblade sisters. Yeah, do it. For Wolf.

Do you want to shot you? Yeah, other movie podcasts. If that's your thing, man. Go to iTunes. Give us a good review. We hope Tweet about us. Tweet about cats. Like I've been doing for the past two weeks

You know leaving nice review for us on iTunes why not And we should thank our two guests. Yeah Jenny Jeffy and Natalie Walker our great editor is Jordan Cowling We are a product of us on the maximum fun network as Dan said listen to those and Guys I hate to break it to you, but, uh, but, what will you say? No, I wanted, I, I, I wanted to extend our guests a bit more of a fulsome thank you for being on the show because it would not, well, Dan, usually you don't even want to introduce it. It would not be.

It would not be. We would not have had such a, their credits and you throw it in the garbage. We would not have had such a fun time nor would have been such a good show without Natalie and Jenny Do you guys have anything you want to plug before we sign off? No truly just a move the cats Okay, just the cats just spreading the gospel I can't Well guys I uh I am fortunately have to go I was chosen as the gelical choice

And I'm Elliott the culturally Jewish cat I have uh, there's been a hot air balloon with a chandelier under it waiting for me We gotta be some kind of gifilter fish, you're just batting at a cradle Putting it under the sofa You have the curls. Oh, wow Wow, yeah, we really we've really figured out this Jewish cat I guess that's it guys. Yeah, thanks for cats is I've a Dan McCoy. I've been steward Wellington.

And I'm Elliot Kaelin, the ending the show cat. See ya. Bye! Bye, you! Yeah! McCaviny. Ineffable! Magic! All the sky is dark, where all the stars are in La Pais Theta. Maximumfund.org.

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