The Flop House - Ep. #308 - Verotika

Episode Date: March 21, 2020

Please read... bear with us on this one -- this was originally intended to be our Maximum Fun Drive episode, before the world exploded. So it may seem a little choppy in places, where we chopped out some fairly extensive MFD talk* (also there's some minor equipment/audio interference toward the end -- sorry). Thank you to our intrepid editor Jordan Kauwling for going above and beyond. Anyway, even though this would normally not be a full episode week, we thought we'd post it now anyway, to help keep folks' spirits up, and if you're wondering why we don't even mention the GIANT GLOBAL PANDEMIC, it's because we taped it before shit got real. Anyway... OH WHAT AN EPISODE. We're joined by screenwriter and Switchblade Sisters host, April Wolfe, to discuss Wolverine himself, Glenn Danzig's directorial debut, Verotika -- an anthology of "sexy" (?) horror tales. And this time we even managed to give April a working microphone! Brief content warning: because this is an "erotic" horror movie by Danzig, there are some references to violence against women. Honestly, the movie is so incompetent that the awful stuff mostly seems ridiculous in context, but if any reference to that is upsetting, be aware (the episode keeps it to a minimum). * As Jesse notes at the top of the show, the MFD has been postponed indefinitely due to the COVID-19 pandemic, although members should have gotten information to access the bonus content for this year, including The Flop House's "lost" episode on the movie Life (the Jake Gyllenhaal one, not the Eddie Murphy one), and a Judge John Hodgman where the learned judge adjudicates whether Elliott can drag Dan's Twitter jokes. If you still want to become a member, you can go to maximumfun.org/join and become a sponsoring member of the community at any time -- during this pandemic we want to take care of yourselves first and foremost, (and probably second and third too). Then if you have anything extra, donate to disaster relief. But if you're fortunate enough to have EXTRA extra, memberships do help keep Max Fun staffers and podcasters salaried, at this time when everyone is struggling, and help keep the network afloat. Enough jabber! We love you all! Please stay safe and healthy, and we're honored to be there with you while we all struggle through this, if only in your headphones. -- Verotika has no Wiki page. Movies recommended in this episode: The Lawnmower Man The Lodge First Cow The Farewell

Hi, it's Jesse, the founder of Max Fun coming to you from the microphone at my home office, where I am socially segregating. So we promised you a Max Fun drive this week, but things haven't exactly gone how we expected. So given the pandemic, we're going to postpone this year's drive. Events are still fluid, so we're hesitant to give you specifics about new dates. Right now we have late April penciled into our calendars. We'll keep you posted about that. As it stands, a lot of our drive machinery was already cranked up. So for one thing, you might hear a reference or two to the drive in our shows, which might

have been recorded before we made this decision. And here is some good news. There's a bunch of great bonus content available for all of our Max Fund members. If you're a member and you miss the email with instructions on how to listen, check your spam folder, or log in at maximumfund.org slash manage. Also at maximumfund.org slash manage manage you can change your membership if your circumstances have changed. We know this is a tough time for a lot of people and we understand. You can also go to maximumfund.org slash join at any time if you'd like to become a member. During the next couple weeks

what would have been the drive we are going to do our best to be extra available to you. We've got some streaming events planned, some social media stuff. We know a lot of folks are isolated right now, and we want to help provide comfort in the best ways that we know how. You can follow us on social media and we'll let you know what's up. During this tough time, I have been feeling really grateful for my community of colleagues here at Max Fun and for you, the folks who make our work possible.

Guffy as that work may sometimes be. Stay safe out there. We're thinking of you. On this episode, we, Veratica. The movie that shows that Glendanzig is a double threat, musician and crazy person. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flapas, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey I'm Stuart Wellington, You might know me from viral tweet about not washing his hands. Yeah, how does it feel you guys to be stars overseas

in the international not washing hands Twitter zone? Yeah, I mean, I think you. Thank you, former guest, Jenny Jaffy, friend of the podcast for making me a household name. Yeah, vaguely implying that maybe we don't watch our hands. Let's not talk about former guests and talk about our current guest. We've got special guest, April Wolf. That's right, writer, screenwriter.

Most recently of Black Christmas, the award-winning hit movie probably. We've gotten a lot of awards. A lot of awards and a lot of buzz. Ray Buzz Heavy and host of Max Phones, Max Phones. Probably we've gotten a lot of awards a lot of awards and a lot of buzz very buzz heavy and Host of max phones max phones max Thank you max ones own switchblade sisters April. Well, favor. Thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me on We talk about this movie We had to have April on to talk about this perhaps the, maybe the worst movie we've ever done.

We've also, we've also, we've never done the least, perhaps the least movie we've seen. This is a world we're loving, love on Alicia, this people, it's not. I think love on Alicia may have been more of a movie than this one. I do. Look, it has a block. At least this one had a soundtrack though. And also joining us, as you probably heard heard is special guest Samuel Kaelin Sammy's on because because this is a kids movie right?

Yeah, exactly also I should mention my name is like a Lynn. I don't think I've ever mentioned my name I'm one of regular co-hosts. Yeah, Sammy's here because it's a kids movie. You know watch it the other night He's a big Danzig fan And so you know he what's your favorite song that is twist of cane or you're more a fan of Sam Hain? Like he said, are those songs? He just whispered to me. Oh, the last real, like white shade.

Whisk-bring. Yeah. So, what would you call, you guys call it the biggest movie of the year? Most anticipated. Most anticipated, yeah, yeah. Yeah. The one, the one more people are interested in the other.

The movie we watched is Veronica. This, of course, is the feature directorial debut from Glenn Danzig of the band's misfits, Danzig. Yeah, so this is part of our, uh, rocktoberfest, right? Because we just did the fanatic. Right. The fanatic. Yeah.

Yeah. That's true. What's up, Dan? What are your feelings on Glenn Danzig? I don't, I don't know him as, of our uh... rock toberfest right because we just did the fanaticals yeah yeah that's what's up then what's up to you feeling something danzig i don't i don't know him is and i guess i've noticed the misfits i don't know him as a musical figure i know him mostly from you guys talking about how wizard magazine wanted to make a wolverine yeah yeah i thought he was directing a movie i'm like but that's a mistake because he's clearly an actor he played wolverine in all the movies, right? But you guys are a couple of hard rock fans. What are your thoughts?

I mean, so I'm going to go on record as a fan of, like, let's call it the first half of Danzig's career, like I love his air of the misfits that first Danzig album, I love a lot of the songs on it. But then there's a certain point where things that I think I enjoy ironically, I started to realize he enjoyed them very Sincerely those things being like human sacrifice which graphed like Sexual violence things that like where I was like, oh, this is a metaphor for something I'm like no, he's just singing about a guy who collects skulls like that's all it is

It's literally just like his neighbor. It's just into yeah He's also one of the only cat people who doesn't enjoy talking about his cats. Yeah, well, there's just insane. There's the famous photograph of him in a parking lot just with a big box of kitty litter and oh my god. I just remember hearing that three lit a bottle of mountain down like that thing over and over for like a year after that. Yeah. He's also he's also one of the many musicians celebrities to come from New Jersey. And I think he still lives in New Jersey, right?

I think he does. I remember someone telling me the story once, I forget who was now of going to a, going to a dancing show and being really excited and then seeing blend dancing and the other guys like unpacking the equipment before the show and they're all just wearing Jets jerseys. And it like really ruins the mystique of them as horror monsters since they're just like

jerseys dudes. But Glendantzig is one of these, Glendantzig is one of these guys that I have to, especially in the type of music I enjoy listening to where I have to be like, this is someone whose work, I often like that if I met this person in person, I do not think I would like this person at all. Like he's seen by all accounts, he seems like a real big jerk. Yeah, he'd be really boring though, I think, because he's the thing.

Which you actually see in this movie, you're like, oh, I wouldn't even, oh, I get it, it's just boring. Okay. So, Faradica is based on a comic book publisher that he can use. Oh, and you love comic book movies, right? I love comic book movies, spawn, mystery spawn mystery men tank girl like all the big hits

uh... whether they're called the uh... i did like americans that's yeah yeah ghost world all these big superhero movies that are out these days and vera that belongs to the genre i think that we can call uh... erotic horror which yeah

i don't know to the genre, I think that we can call erotic horror. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to. I don't want to. Oh, that's vera teca. Erotic. Erotic violence. I'm glad you finally got it. Why did I don't want to like,

why do you just tack a V on there? Is it because there's vampires? I think it stands for violent. Oh, erotic. And it's also filled with a K. That goes directly to what I was going to say, which is like, I don't know. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know like I don't want killing in my sex movie. And this is not American I think. I don't. Okay. And yeah, Americans love this stuff. So this is what this is one of the first flaws in the conception of this movie for you and for you. For you, I mean, that it doesn't appeal directly to you because there's a lot of movies that will be dancing. I'm sure. I'd like. Jiggly into it. What's the stuff in this movie? Now I want to see you as a professional film critic, Dan,

so that each of your reviews is like, well, one of the major flaws of Herbie fully loaded is it doesn't appeal directly to me. There's a point where at any point during the movie, Herbie could have turned the camera and said, hey, Dan, how do you like the movie so far? But at no point goes to do that. And yet, I was not addressed once throughout the film.

Yeah, that's a very like that. But I wouldn't, because I would try to talk back to the screen and a little work. Yeah, I'd like confused and frustrated. It's like in Metal Gear Solid, when Psycho Mantis starts reading your memory card and telling you what video games you like. Now, Dan loves interacting with the movie screen.

That's why Mr. Payback is his favorite movie of all time. Did they do a second interactive movie? No, I don't think they did. I think there were two of them, but Mr. Payback was the famous one. The famous one. Yeah, people are always asking for it. Have you ever seen it? So, let's...

What's your payback about? You don't remember Mr. Payback? No. So what's the extra payback about? You don't remember Mr. Payback? Mr. Payback was a movie that came out where it was using the new advanced laser-disk technology that was also seen in such great games as Dragon Quest. You would go and you would vote on which way the movie would go. And there were three jerks and you would vote on which one Mr. Payback would give payback to.

And Mr. Payback was like an inspector gadget type cyborg, I think. And you just decide what was going to happen in the movie. And the audience would vote on it. Okay. And I've never been in an audience that actually experienced this film. It was meant to be seen, but I remember seeing trailers for it. And being like, wow, that looks amazing. That is the...

Okay, so you're voting to see who this guy kills. And not kills, but like beats up proposal prank on. Oh, wow. Okay. That is, okay, so you're voting to see who this guy kills. And not kills, but like beats up proposal prank on. Oh, wow, okay, all right. It wasn't like the, the Mel Gibson movie payback. I don't think anyone actually died. That's what I was saying. Okay, that's very different.

Now, Black Christmas is also an interactive movie, right? Yeah, it is. Yeah. Welcome to punch any screen that it's playing on, truly. Okay, in 1992, there was an interactive motion picture, the first one, apparently, called I'm Your Man. Okay. Based on the song.

I'm looking through to find out anything more about there. It turns out I'm Your Man because I guess no one ever saw I'm your man. Which is weird because it's a movie, right? It's not a man. Yeah. Well, also it's an interactive movie. So without an audience watching it, no one can make the decision.

So I have to send somewhere in some movie theater, there's still a character on screen. So if saying press the A button, if you'd like me to keep going, press the B button, if I should look for a different adventure. And then just repeating that for years and years over and over again. Yeah, and the projectionist, the projectionist is dying. At the bottom of the sea.

Yeah, exactly. Just wishing at the Blue Fairy to be real. So guys, let's talk about Veronica as we already have been. So Veronica, it's what he's trying to do is revive the classic horror movie anthology film as he tells three spine tingling blood-girdling tales of not very much happening. And the movie opens with a kind of satanic witch lady poking out a screaming woman's eyes with her fingernails and then she introduces herself to the audience with the immortal line. We all know it. Welcome my darklings. My name is

Morella. So she will continue to address the audiences her darklings throughout the movie. Now here's the weird thing about this movie. You have a horror host, Morella, who is some kind of a Satan witch. She doesn't introduce the movies. She just shows up after the stories and has a pun. And then a title card comes up from that point.

It seems like the horror host's main job is to introduce the story and kind of prepare you for what you're about to see. But instead, she is not available. She's as aboard by them at one point. She just goes, well, that's that. And it's like, what? Right.

And I think one of the intros is basically, she just basically says, well, here's another one. Yeah. I did a little research. Morella is played by actress Kaden Cross, who just recently won best director at the 2020 AVN pornography film. Oh, wow.

So this is like, she's having a big year. She's having a big year. She's appearing in Akira's course. I was dreams has been spent now. Yeah. So she's a director or she is a... I think she's both been in front and behind the camera. But she just won the award for her dream.

The best way for porn actors to continue to make money in this world of internet and aging is to transition to being behind the camera. I see. I think it's true also in non-pornographic film. Yeah, I like that. and aging is to transition to being behind the camera. I think it's true also in non-poreographic film. Yeah, quite a place too Dan, you're the got your tickets right? Yeah.

I guess I'm ripping off of the comment. Are we saying that she's like the Greta Gerwig of the adult video world? I can't exactly do deep things. I don't know. Anyway, so some things that I found interesting in the opening credits of this film, there's a person in the movie whose name is Kansas Bowling.

Who was on Switch Played Sisters, actually. Really? Which episode was that? She did the monkey's movie head. Oh, I listened to that. Oh, I forgot about that. I forgot about that. That was who did it.

She did episode. In this, she plays a role in the third installment. The third anthology. What did we. In this she plays a role in the third in the third installment. The third anthology. What did we call it? Is it a you can't call the story. There's not. There's no. I guess we can call this a library of thrills. Yeah. Maybe like that. Can I return the book? I mean, I do you should and and the movie was edited by Brian Cox, but probably not that Brian I was like, oh shit Talking about a double Brit, I mean, he says he's never done before. So he's starting out with this one I know he just takes he's got a hiatus from succession

And he's just you know ready to like learn the trade He was hanging out with his friend Glendale and singing like Len I talked myself final cut Well, that's why do you have any projects I could work together with you on? Of course, he's still working on final cut. That's why in between scenes, there are all those scenes where someone shows up to just explain different types of scotch to the audience. Brian Cox put those in. And you said this movie was not appealing to you, Dan.

Huh, interesting. Yeah, I know. I think you know. Weird. So, so, Morella comes out and blinds a woman and then is like, welcome my darklings, here's the movie. And then we get... There's also a moment like this starts a trend in the film

where somebody removes a body part and the person's reaction is just to say the body part over and over, in this case, she just says, my eyes, my eyes. I'm assuming that's probably true. I'm probably here in my face, my face. And of course... If I got my eyes, my eyes. I'm assuming that's probably wrong. She's probably wrong. I'm like, here, my face, my face. And of course. If I got my eyes poked out, I think that's probably

what I'd be screaming. And you're like, the person that poked out your eyes, probably some kind of a witch, or I don't know, a regular person, would be like, yeah, duh, I know, I just did it. It's like newsflash, I'm the one who did it. I know you're blind. You can't see that I'm the one standing here, but it's me. Also, she like, she licks the blood off of her fingers from it too, which is just like

insult to injury because that woman can't even see that flex. Like she can't even smell. Unless her hearing has become so advanced in that moment that she can hear the sound of the tongue screaming. Oh God, she's licking my blood, I know it. I hear a tongue scraping against fainter skin, but there's an extra level of liquid in there. It sounds a little different.

So anyway, then we get the title screen for the first of our trilogy of error. Let's say, let's call it a trilogy of error. It's called the albino spider of deadjet. And the title, frankly, promises almost everything, except one thing. We open with a CGI spider watching Freak French people making out on a couch

and the woman does not want her shirt lifted up, but the man does it anyway to reveal she has eyes instead of nipples, bump, bump, bump. She could have worn a bra. I'm just saying. You would say that. I mean, I don't want to be uncomfortable. It's like a blindfold all the time.

I really don't want to blame the woman in the scenario, but also like if she was making out with him as, dizzily as she was, she probably could have anticipated that like he would try to take her shirt off at one point. Like, what was her plan? I mean, she does, or one point she did get to the point. You're being weird, Dan. Oh, no, I mean, like, but she does point she did get to the point. You're being weird, Dan. No, no, I mean, like, but she does,

she does say, like, oh no, not again. So you would think like, oh, okay, this is, yeah. I mean, that's the thing is, once, it, once Shaman, the guy, twice, Shaman, her, she knows what people are gonna respond to her. Yeah, she's just gotta give, like, a little prep, like, don't freak out. Okay, here's something you should know.

You're a little different. I have eyes on my memories, and I know that's out of the ordinary. I'll explain to you how that happened because the movie will not. I would keep waiting, I was like, oh, I mean, I'm at least I'm curious to find out how this happened.

No, I think it's just supposed to be that she was born that way, which is not something that can happen in a human being as far as I know. Well, you know, a lot we don't know about. That's true. Maybe some were buried in the time life mysteries looks there.

Yeah, I mean, it's like a black, tremble, tin drum sort of thing, you know? Okay, to a point. It's a very real experience. This is the magical realism of the story. So he runs out. She, we've learned his deadjet, a model. A lot of information, she's consoled by her bikini wearing

roommate, I guess, neighbor. She has like a Kramer type neighbor who just wanders into the apartment, but we're wearing a bikini top, which Kramer normally didn't do. And did you have to so sad that she cries and her tears knock that spider onto the floor? And it transforms I guess through the power of her erotic sadness into a spider monster man who declares his love for Dejet and said Well, you sleep. I'm gonna go out and snap women's necks. Yeah He has also in anal sex a lot, though, too, which is weird

Yeah, that was something that he has a real it is character diamond. He is a man spider He's a murderer and he he's only interested in, in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally missed that third part. I have no idea at all. Really? Because he says it. Well, I mean, the movie's not.

OK. No, you're right, Dan. The movie, it was a movie. It was a real, a real, a real, a real, a real, a real, a real sneakers. You really had to pay close attention to the character. Who is coming? Who? Oh, that's crazy. I know a movie like this, much, this was a real sneakers. You really had to pay close attention to the character. Who is climbing through?

Oh, that's crazy. I know a movie like this, much like Robert Altman's images, it's, you know, it's throwing so much at you and it's such a surreal vision that, when the character walks up to another character and says, I'm going to binge over and do you in the ass, I see how you can miss that.

Cause you're like, wait, I want to my taking in here. So, wait, hold on. So I want to explain this character a little bit. He's a bit of a dark angel figure, like your pinheads a little bit, or you're like, can he's men? But I kind of didn't understand why he was killing the specific people he was killing while she was asleep, because it was like,

these people are not standing in her way somehow or something like this is or like this is not fulfilling some need no no it see that's what because this story is twisted in a regular story this guy would go out and kill the men who had wronged her and she'd be like no no I didn't want that instead this guy is worse than the men who have wronged yeah and it's just going out and killing women. For no reason, he just steps their necks for no reason. I mean, if this is a normal horror movie, she'd have a logical revenge reason for why this guy's got like monkey shines, that monkey is killing those people

for a reason. Yeah, police called him motive, Dan. They hold on. Hold on. Did we mention that everyone has French accents? Yes, and I was very afraid. I mean, are they though? They have someone's idea of a French accent.

Because I thought I was just like, okay, I can see that these people moved to France from Russia. And so that was the vibe I was getting. Yeah, that's a fair point. They seemed like they were trafficked at some point too. Western Europe from Eastern Europe. Well, I was very interesting. I googled to find out why they all had French accents.

And I guess there's online you can find that there's a tweet saying that someone asked this at the premiere of Danzig and he says, oh, they're in Paris, which is not something that the movie explains. No, I mean, the movie is too busy just getting deep into the story of this Spider's Man snapping people's necks. He kills her neighbor and she's horrified next. He kills a prostitute in a very fake looking alley while she is falling asleep backstage at some side of sort of very low energy leather fetish model shoot where it's like a shutter stock fetish.

Oh yeah. Like, you know that they're gonna have a, there's gonna be a watermark over the image. Big guy, four or five women kind of standing against the backdrop doing kind of a backup dancer for a Robert Palmer, like kind of like sort of, like lazy squirming, I would call it. Yeah, and the photographer's gonna be beautiful. And the photographer's gonna be beautiful. like kind of like sort of like lazy squirming I would call it.

Yeah, and the photographer's going, beautiful, sexy, sexy, beautiful. And he's got the jankiest old camera too. That part's great. And she's happened to see on TV that the second victim has been found. And this is my favorite part is that the reporter reports that the police are already calling the murderer Lenek Breaker because it's France. It's France. So it's Lenek Breaker and it's not even like it's like Lenek Breaker. It's like Lenek Breaker. It's even in America that would be a lazy name for a murderer who snaps people's necks. The neck breaker. Yeah. It's a translation from French to English though. Yeah. We lost

something in the French. In French it's probably beautiful. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's more in the Boucher. Yeah. The fact that this is Lynnec Breaker was so funny to me because they're like, oh yeah, we got to remind people it's France. DeJette is doing her best to try to stay awake.

She goes to the movies and sees a, goes to a porno theater with a marquee. If I'm translating correctly, I think it's nude without a face, which is like, I guess they're play on eyes without a face and The guys and the theater she falls asleep of course she does she's so tired. She's done nothing but sleep all movie and I mean, there's a certain point at which like She doesn't need to sleep anymore, right because she's slept for I think 40 hours straight while the neck breakers

Just running on break and next. Yeah, there's a point where after she falls asleep, one of the guys leans over to his buddy and he man splints. He's like, this part coming up is great. This is the part where she does it with his guy. Yeah, he's a real, he was a real repeat guy. Also, he reminds me of like whenever I see. So I don't want to get too deep into it. But whenever I see like a pornographic video online,

I see that there are like comments below. I'm like, who are these people? Who are like, I really need to let you know the exact quote that I or get from user flop house cat. That's insane. I just think it's, this must be what it's like to go to a porn theater in New York in the middle of the day when it's just old people going to the movies.

Because if my experience at film forums, any indication old people just love to talk to a porn theater in New York in the middle of the day when it's just old people going to the movies because if my experience at film form is any indication old people just love to talk to you about what's going on in the movie while the movie is going on. So it's probably what it's like when they're at those theaters. And they also sit too close to you. Yes. To Dejet did a little bit too close to these guys in this theater. I mean it's like an open theater and she's like I'll sit behind these two men. It's okay. They start plying at her while she's like, I'll sit behind these two men. It's okay. They start plying at her while she's asleep,

but this wakes her up, interrupting the man's spider in the middle of an act that Dan didn't realize what he was doing, but again, we know that it is. So wait, this is a weird message. There is salt saves a naked woman. This is what I was gonna say. I guess what I'm saying is there's no moral reason this movie should exist in any sense

i'm not one for censorship but if if the government was like we have to get every copy of this movie and burn it i'd be like well if you got a burn one movie maybe this is the one but anyway so she's like i I gotta go somewhere else. She goes to a cafe, which strangely enough has a neon sign that says cafe inside the restaurant on the cafe side of the window so that you can read it while you're in the cafe and know that you're in a cafe. Oh, yeah.

It's a strange piece of set dressing. Is this where she encounters the waiter with the absolute worst of the fake French accents? Yes, the waiter comes in. She sits down at a table where there's already a coffee mug sitting there, and I was like, That happens. Is it supposed to, but then the waiter comes by and I think he's going to refill that mug.

Do they just have the one mug at the restaurant? Like, why can't the waiter bring a mug? And the waiter is like, you shouldn't be out. You should be at home. The neck breaker is out. Yeah, but it says it crazily. You neck break off. Yeah. And this guy, this guy cares about necks because he has some very badly disguised neck tattoos

peaking out from the color of his waiter shirt. Oh, yeah. So he knows he's a target. Uh, she goes home, hangs out in her underwear for a little bit. Uh, and then she has this elaborate plan to catch the neck breaker where she reports Yeah, so he knows he's a target. She goes home, hangs out in her underwear for a little bit, and then she has this elaborate plan to catch the neckbreaker, where she reports a murder on the phone to the police, and then she looks at some pills

that are on a bedside table, and the manspider shows up, and the police knock at the door, and she dies. I assume having absorbed the energy of the medicine that she overdosed on just by looking at it. She just absorbed it through her eye beams and they break in and they find her and they find the manspiter and they shoot it to death.

No questions asked. And then... She'd be pretty chill about it. It's, yeah, and they looked at him and they're like, there's the neck breaker. Payal is a ghost and I was like, do you not want to comment on the fact that he has six arms? So... Like, is this not something worthy of mentioning?

It's also a very straight, like this, if I'm not mistaken, this is like the last few shots of the movie is like the camera on the floor in the neckbreakers point of view shot and these like detectives looming over him looking down like they're in a football huddle and they just like exchange a few lines about the neckbreaker. Like they catch the like, oh, and how about the weather today? And then like the thing ends. Like, well, then, well, then they don't,

then they look down at her and they go, oh, she has eyes on her boobs. And they're like, oh, and that's the end of the story. And then comes to Morella. And that's when Morella says, well, there you go. The eyes have it, which doesn't make any sense The laziest pun and it is so nonsensical Do you think do you think the movie would have been do you think this story would have been salvaged if the corner came in and like

Closed the eyes on her face corner came in and like close the eyes on her face and the reach. Yeah, put Penny's down. Did you guys forget I kept forgetting throughout that she had eyes on her tits? Yeah, because they don't talk about it. After the first time, and then I was like, Oh, shit, that's right. Oh, that's weird.

It seems like it is the most noteworthy thing about the story. And yet it's the one thing that, I mean, I don't run in the same circles the Danzig runs in. Maybe that's not that weird a thing where he's from. But certainly that's what I kept being like, are they going to explain about that? Or are they going to? Do you think it's like a product of the body mod community he's into? And like when she was a kid, she got these eyes put on there and she's like, ah, I can't

get him, like, it's way harder to get them swapped out with normal style nipples. Normal style. Well, the way the thing with nipples classic, yeah. The way the thing treats it, it's like, I feel like they forget about it because Danzig only cares about it as motivation for her erotic frustrations. But I also think that that's hilarious. Like he couldn't come up with a simpler, normal reason for it. He's like, hmm, why is this woman sexually frustrated?

Like, I know, men are picked up by her eye boobs. But that's okay, I like this one. Okay, this is the best of the show. Yeah, this is the one where I was just like, okay, if this is the first one, like, let's hang in, what's gonna happen? Cause there's like great lines, like, Milkor beer, Milkor beer, like when the,

the roommate or the creamer person, it's just like, going through a refrigerator and it's just like, what? Yeah, we're doing it, those ever. It's random, like, small things, you're like, wow, the detail in this, it really reveals character. I'm a bartender, so that's usually what I ask people

when they come into the bar. I'm hoping for me. Yeah. The two drinks. The two drinks. There was a little bit of unnecessary back and forth caddiness between the other models at the photo shoot. Oh, yeah.

And it was like, she's like, if you're feeling so soft-hearted, how about lending me some money? Yeah. And it was like, are you trying to build this up as like a world that these people are in? Because we never see any of them again. But it could have been this other thing. We were like, it really could have been.

And I kept being like, oh, the funny thing is that like, if you look on IMDB, there's only one writing credit and it's Danzig. But if you actually watch the credits, there's four writing credits, including Danzig. And I was watching it with my friend Janet and my husband. And we read the credits and we were like, holy shit. Did Bridget write this movie?

We knew what other writers. If we texted her, she's a comedian. And we were like, did you write Veronica? She's like, no, I don't think so. But I was like, first off, what an answer. Secondly, I guess she had worked on a project with Danzig for Shutter, and then something happened, like it disappeared, and then she was like,

oh, I guess he stole some stuff. And I was like, oh, okay. I mean, because I imagine my vision is Danzig checking the IMDv profile every day to delete other names that got added. Because that is the sign of a professional direct. So that's by far the most coherent and the most legible of the stories. It has the most story in it. And it has more like weird stuff than the other things which is nice. Like the other

ones are a lot more boring. Well, you got, if you guys liked that little tale, oh, okay. We'll be summarizing the next Goulish adventure. Oh, boy, you're really getting into it. Much more than Morella says, well, there you go, the eyes have it, and then it fades out,

and we just get the title of the next story. When is that title? The next title is Change of Face, and it's also a Change of Font than the last one. In the last one. Change of Typeface. So we open on the hot LA streets, a strange woman, almost a mystery girl, if you would,

is stalking another woman. And by stalking, I mean, they're like standing on other ends of the alley. The mystery woman has a knife and is like, I just want to cut off your face. And she's like, no way. And then she does it. She cuts off her face. The mystery woman is very offended that this other woman won't give her her face.

Uh-huh. So, cut to the interior of a hard rock strip club that we later learn is called Pussycats. It's very cool. It's the sort of, I feel like there's two different types of ways you can, like there's two different guys who make movies of strip clubs. You have the ones that are like, let's make it look awesome. Those are totally fabricated. And then there's like a strip club in like HBO's the outsider where you're like, oh, this looks right. This super long boring show,

this is what a strip club actually looks like. Like. So what made it so cool? Stewart, other than the incredible hard rock tunes. There's bangin' hard rock tunes, there's the same regulars hanging out. The shots are angled in a way that you can still see the ceiling struts and it still looks like a cheap strip club. Dan, you thought it was

pretty cool. You're a regular at pussy cats, right? You're that gentleman wearing the cowboy hat with the nameplate fuck on the front of it. It's weird, like this, this movie is so intensely just focused on undressing women. And yet you said it didn't appeal to you. Yeah, well, again, there's killing it too. Well, you watched it with his mom mom and it was a tough watch. Yeah, but it was because your mom asked you, she wanted to watch it, right? Yeah, yeah, she's a big dancing fan, right? That's why she needed you, Dan.

And I'm not, I'm certainly not, I'm certainly not arguing for more nudity when I make this observation, but like this movie is like so concerned with sex and nudity. That's true, it looks skeptical. And then the strip club very frequently is not very naked women on stage. So it has that thing that all movies have to have where they're like the strip club

where people aren't getting new that much. You see women just kind of like swinging around poles for the length of entire song. Yeah, it does feel a little bit like an infomercial for strip clubs. Yeah, but these aren't strippers. I think that people are getting there, like he got his sex workers mixed up. We're just like, he hired porn stars to play strippers, but like strippers is a different specialty.

Yeah, they don't really like that. And I were just criticizing the stripping. I was just like, what is going on? You are so unprofessional. It just felt it was off. It was off. I was just with Audrey and like the mystery girl that comes up later. She was like, she's just swinging her caper out. I mean, she is swinging her caper out. So it's by far the, it's by far the most lackluster dance I've ever seen. We've not deserved the intro or the pseudonym. Yeah, with with about the same amount of excitement the height man DJ at the pussy cats brings up the new dancer that's right the mystery girl

Who is a woman wearing a cape and she has skulls taped over her nipples and she is wearing a veil that does very little disguise the scarred marks around her eyeballs which ends up scaring off some potential tippers. And she mainly danced by wiggling her cape around. Yeah. I think it's very funny that they're like here. She is the mystery girl, the girl who's showing even less than all the other girls because she has a cape on Well, the cape stays there the whole time like it's not like it's a mystery thing It's not like a riddler themed stripper which if I hear mystery girl correct me if I'm wrong I'm gonna see a stripper who's themed like the riddler from the Batman series Maybe she's ringing outfit covered in question marks or maybe she's hurling riddles out to the crowd,

and they have to solve them before she'll take it. Clothes like a mystery date style thing, where it's like open the door for your mystery girl. I'm like, she opens the door, and that's what she's new. Like, there's a burlesque thing where she was kind of like a floaty's before it. Like, she closes the door,

and then takes off an outfit, and then opens the door, and then closes again, and then opens it. But they play the jingle every single time they open the door. So takes off and out and then opens the door and closes again and opens but they play the jingle every single time in the door so it drives people insane. You guys have some interesting desires. That's a pretty good summary of this podcast. But I think that like also the mystery girl is really bad at her job. I don't know why she's doing it because there's a guy who's like offering her

$100 bill and all she does has been down and stare at him until he goes away and like sees the that she's got someone else's skin over her skin and it's just like you could just take the money. Well that you don't have to like intimidate her think she's mad because she does it for the art and it cheapens her performance. It is except money for it. Yeah. Well, that plays into something weird. She's like, Banksy that way.

When we were watching this, Audrey's like, okay, so she puts like other people's skin over her face. Yeah, so as we found out, the mystery girl later on, we find out, mystery girl is the same mystery woman from earlier who has been cutting off women's faces and putting it over her own face which is She describes as as horribly scarred, but it's it's kind of like on par with Ryan Reynolds in the Deadpool movies where you're like oh you're fine Yeah, sorry, I love the cat out of the bag because I felt like it already dark man or any wriggled out a little bit But she now she's got some scratches on the side of her face

Where it's just like you know laser therapy is a thing and also like a lot of people have some stuff on their face Look if Bill Murray can be a huge movie star. Yeah, there's a reason. She can't live a normal life. Yeah, but uh, no the thing is like But sometimes the deepest part is trying to make this point for so long now, Dan. Well, Dan, maybe you should like make it then. Oh, God. No, we were watching it, and this woman puts a face on her face, and Audrey pointed out that her cheeks look normal in this scenario. But, and yet, that's the part of her face that she chooses to cover with a mask,

where her eyes are on display. You can see the holes where she's put eye holes in this other skin. Yeah, you would think if she was just, if she was going to dance around with a mask over her lower part of her face, she doesn't need to wear someone else's face, right? Because the lower half of her, like her mask is in that part. The plan doesn't make sense. So you're saying, Dan, your big issue was that you can see it's a poor makeup job when she puts this mask on.

Is that she's not exactly the Rick Baker of stealing other people's faces and putting them on her face. I mean, like wear like a Zorro mask over your eyes. I'm like a Domino. The rest of it. Yeah, Domino mask. Maybe that could be part of your

Riddler themed strip routine. Yeah. For Bat Lesk, Bat Lesk is of course Batman streamed for less, a theme for less. You have, there's a woman bat man, there's a woman joker, there's a one ridler, there's a guy who does cat woman. You know, we're just mixing things up.

It's bat less. So now, back to that alleyway where the cops are spending a long time standing over the murdered girl, they're kind of just dicking around. That's a name here. Yeah, the cops are kind of, they do spend a lot of time just hanging around. Just standing over naked and murdered with it.

And it's, you know, it's a lot of, you know, like boilerplate cop dialogue, probably gleaned from watching a couple episodes of SVU. While Glen Danzig is drifting off to Dreamland at night and he needs just one last story to put him over the edge. So SVU is special Verotica unit. Some cops handle special Verotica crimes. So Mr. Girl we find has a pretty, pretty Spartan changing area where she has a bunch of faces nailed to the wall and a little little vanity.

She, you know, talks to herself, talks to the masks, she goes and finds a new victim. And then when you say masks, you mean faces? Yeah, faces, yeah, exactly. Aren't all faces a mask at the end of the day. And so she opens, she opens somebody's apartment door using an apartment key. That's not really explained. It's fine, but they show it. So it's important. She goes in, the woman is a little surprised to have a stranger in her home. And then she's even more surprised when her face is demanded as payment. So the mystery girl and this new victim struggle. It's kind of awkward.

They kind of, you know, they kind of sit and look at a knife for a bit and then they, like, kind of wrestle. And then she slowly touches the woman's face with a knife and blood comes out. And then she takes the face off and then the woman standing there without a face and she's like, my face, my face, thus closing the loop. Uh, the, we then get a, you know, we get another shot of the cops inside this woman's apartment. There's like a new detective that's like, okay, give me the brief and the first detective explains it and he's like, all right, all right.

Is the detective the one that's kind of like a Michael Chick List type? That was the original guy all right, all right. Is it the second of the one that's kind of like a Michael Chick list type? That was the original guy. Yeah. He's a Michael Chick on this putting on like the gravely Batman voice. Yeah, and we find out that there's been 13 murders. So they're taking their time.

And they're worried that the press is gonna find out because I don't know. Oh, look. Because they'll come up. 13 murders, they said? Yeah, they said there's 13 murders and they're nervous about the press coming out because they're like, you know as soon as the press finds out,

they're gonna come out with some badass name, like Le Nebke Breaker or something. Le face taker. But in the end, though, when you see all the faces, there aren't 13 faces, so that means that there's another face taker. I mean, I gotta imagine there's a shelf life

for a room-odied room face. Like at a certain point, she's like, these faces are getting pretty wranker. I gotta replace them. It doesn't mean that they're 13 ghost-storning and round out there after. Yeah, Nellie, I think you misspoke. You said shelf life,

but they're clearly nailed to the wall. Oh, sorry, sorry. I gotta show why. I wasn't seeing like a good way to store like faces you put on your face. It's a very poor way to store anything. Especially faces you're gonna put on your face. It's a very poor way to store anything, especially faces you're gonna put on your face. So the detector...

I wouldn't even store a coat that way, to nail it to the wall, like, and I'm gonna put, like, I hang it on a nail, but come on. Actually, I never really thought about it. I probably shouldn't store my face on the wall with a nail through a tank. So, you better imagine she walks over to the next wall to like get dressed for her job and all her underpants are nailed to the wall.

Like, come on lady, buy a dresser. You have no furniture except for this table and this little vanity here. Yeah, but she's not making money. That's for damn sure. That's true. That's true. Yeah, she comes home. She's just bought a 12 pack of LaCroix.

Each one she nails to the wall. Oh, they're just gonna leak out. Come on. So of course, Detective Michael Chick-Lis now I mentioned her down. She's got, she's got, she's gets a package of craft singles and she's like, I don't want all these right now and nails them to the wall individually.

No, I'm like a normal, not like a non-murderer person who buys a pack of craft singles and eats every single one in one sitting. Yeah, it's called dinners too. It's called dinner. So, Detective Michael Chichot. Look, you had a hard day at work. You just want to sit down and just make your way through all, you know, a 64 pack of craft signals and you know what, you know it's a lot of extra waste because of the wrapping around every single one of the single, but it's the same time that's kind of more where you get a little bit of enjoyment too,

because it's like, look, I work hard all day. Why don't I get a little bit of luxury here? The luxury of knowing that each of these singles was individually wrapped just for me, because really, the anticipation of the wrapping is more enjoyable than the eating of the single. Maybe I'm out on a limb here. Maybe this is pretty...

Now it's like the joy of a hard-boiled egg as well. Exactly, yes, it's the unwrapping of the individually plastic wrapped egg see it would be a deterrent for me because the fact that i have to peel off the plastic each time it gives me time to think about what i'm doing yeah and that when you're eating craft singles for dinner that is your enemy is thinking about what you're doing

that's true you want to get into it's the great thing about it is that in order to properly do it, you have to maintain conscious competence. Now guys, I've done a little bit of, you know, I used to be a trainer professionally. So it's all about keeping employees in that place where they know exactly what they're doing and why they're doing it. And that's what you're doing when you're eating craft singles because if you don't pay attention, you're eating plastic and you can't do that.

Yeah, exactly. And you want to have just enough brain power that you know what you're doing to unwrap and not eat the plastic and not enough brain power that you're realizing you're just eating 64 slices of American cheese for dinner. And that's why you want to watch something like house hunters where you don't need to pay full attention to it because it's the same exact show every single time. But you want to pay just enough attention to it so that you can know why the house they chose is not the right house for them in the end.

So Detective Michael Checklist finds a break in the case. He finds a business card for the Pussycats, a Roddick Dance Club, and he... It looks like Pussyrats, though. It does look like Pussyrats. I feel like they should use a, like, they should have used somebody like a graphic designer to fix that for them.

Maybe that's the name of this place. I thought it was, is it pussy rats or is it pussy cats? I don't know the day I set out loud, is it? No, it's never set out loud, but it certainly looks like pussy rats on that card. I guess I gave them the benefit of the doubt, you know. I think it's weird that she is carrying around her business card when she's going out hunting faces, but also the police officer is never like, oh, when she's going out hunting faces. But also, the police officer is never like, oh, the killer has been at this place.

He's like, well, looks like it's a mystery girl. Yeah. He kind of knows to dance her right away. And he looks at the camera and after hassling the door guy for a little bit. He's like, do you know who mystery girl is? And he's like, I know a lot of girls, buddy. Detective Michael Checkless takes a look at the camera and he says, ready or not, mystery girl, here I come. And then he goes and hassles some of the dancers.

He threatens to shoot them. Well, one of the dancers, she's like, mystery girl. A police officer came, you gotta go, all stall him. And he goes, hey, do you know our mystery girl is? And she's like, I don't know what, huh? That's her version of stalling, it's just to irritate him for a moment. Yeah, yeah, she doesn't have a lot of fucking improv training right now. I Mean, maybe she does. I don't know. Maybe it's just bad improv training. Okay. I'm not I guess you're right. So the detective has some

answers. I guess I'm saying a stew. You don't know her her background or her life. Maybe maybe maybe she maybe she went to Like level one training and just didn't pursue it afterwards. So he then... I feel like this is comedy that's very specific to, like, say, our group of people and not the world. Well, certainly Stu is not interested in it, so continue Stu, what happens next? Yeah, so the detective goes into his path. The trail for the mystery girl leads him into a dark warehouse where he is

ambushed by the mystery girl who stabs him and then he shoots her a couple times and he makes some grand proclamation of vengeance. Then we get a title card six months later. Uh-oh, we're in a new club and a new DJ introduces a hot new dancer. That's right. On to the stage, walks Miss Steeria, who is dancing with obvious bullet scars and another mask. She then takes a hundred dollar bill, rips it in half, and walks out. And we're like, that's the real crime, I guess.

Yeah, it's so weird ending because you're... Because it's not an ending? Yeah, that's so weird ending because you're because it's not an ending. Yeah, that's this time leap and you expect like either the point is That oh no, she's like gone on to another club and she's just gonna do the same thing again It which case they don't need to let her do her whole dance one more time Uh-huh or as she does the dance she leans down and sees that's the detective bent on vengeance, catching up with her. But I mean, like,

or the detective wearing someone else's face and he's like, I get it now. Yeah, or the detective and he's holding a bunch of marriage photos of the two of them from the movie moving. And you're like, a lot's happened in six months. Yeah. This is a very eventful six month.

So I guess I'm certain. But either of those choices would have been endings. Neither would have been good endings, but like at least they would have provided some kind of closure. Well, this is my new theory about Veronica that I just came up with now. Is that the movie represents the dissolution

of the human mind and the way that narratives have frayed in this modern world we live in because the first story, there's a beginning. Woman is spurned by a lover and cries on a spider. There's a middle. Spider becomes a monster murderer and is breaking women's necks and an end. Women sacrifice herself to stop monster murderer somehow. Second story, there's a beginning.

Somebody steal in faces. There's a middle. The police are after the face stealer and there's no ending. And the third story, as Dan will go into, has neither a beginning or an end. It is all middle. So I don't, I actually, I'm having trouble remembering, I know it's crazy, it's crazy because these little interstitial segments made a pretty big impact when I watch them.

But what does Morella say in between these two? I wish what I remembered exactly was something like, well, that's a look at a different face. She's holding her face in her hands. And she's like, what she should say is, yep, we still have the props from that one. Left over. And that face, I couldn't tell,

was it supposed to be the cop? Like Audrey's like, is that the cop's face? And I'm like, no, I don't think so. I think it's just a face. And then I looked at him like, yeah, it could be. That's just the human brain searching for connections. Yes, that's what I have exactly what I was going to say, Dan. You are searching for logic in a world without it.

Well, but I'm saying, like, if Dan's a gift, Dan's a meant that to be the kicker of the story. It is so incompetently delivered that, like, there's no way of telling whether or not that was it. I don't know that there's meant to be a kicker in this story. Well, that's what I'm saying, possibly not, but maybe there was. As an anti-narrative, what you guys didn't hear it was Elliot go, hmm, after he Googled a Verrataqa quotes on IMDP and there were none. Yeah, as soon as he was like, huh, okay. I was like, I was like, I'll look up and see maybe someone put

Marilla's lines on IMDB. They're very quotable. The eyes have it and they were and they were not available. No one has yet done that work. So it was disappointed and not being able to find it. But it is something like it is some it like oh that's a face of a different color or something like that. Like it's some dumb thing that doesn't make sense. You know. Yeah. So Morella, she is there. It is anti-narrative as you're saying. Morella is there more to confuse us. The crypt keeper, for instance, he's there to ease us into the story and make it okay for us

that we're watching a ghoul, tell a tale of kind of humorous macabre. Yeah, it's a brief, brief portnistorm. It's a safe space in between two scary times. And they're gonna give you a little. At the end of every tale from the crypt, you're like, eh, eh, eh, and it comes back to the script, you're like, oh, thank goodness.

I'm just in the evil crypt listening to a corpse talk to me. Oh, and he's also there. Oh, thank goodness. At the end of a story, too, either sort of give you the moral or to just kind of bloat over what happened. Yes. Whereas Morella is there to kind of very, in a very bored, apathetic way, give you

the least possible amount of wordplay before shuffling you off to the next title card. She might say something like, well, well, like, and here's another or something like that. Yeah. Okay, so I guess it's my turn and this is gonna be hard. I mean, I made you your help because, as Elliot says, it's all middle, and I requested this one

because I was like, I don't know if I am prepared to do a summary. I'm like, okay, that'll be the easiest one because nothing happens in it, but the fact that nothing happens in it makes it very hard to remember. You should just start with the beginning. What's the title?

What's the title? I will give you $50 right now. You just say it's like, is it something like Drew Gia Countis or something like that? Oh boy, close enough moment. No, what is it? Drew Keja Countis of Blood. Okay, well it's close. So Stuart gets to keep his, you at Lizzie's S. Grant in his pocket.

Okay, so this story starts with, see the the titular Dukija right and is she like is this a the is this like in the modern world this first shot? Almost certainly no okay since she's riding around in a medieval village First she's first she's smearing blood on her face, okay, and she is based she is a a battery type evil I'm gonna get to that. Okay, so I mean, you seem confused about when the most basic setting of the story. No, like, confused me when I was watching, because I was like, oh, this is the monorool, and then it jumps way back in time. And I thought that maybe it was indicating that because this is a counter-spatery character,

she hasn't aged over decades and decades, but now I see that it is just, Glenn Danes, in competence at making it look like it's olden times, that everything like, oh, this is happening in an apartment somewhere. So anyway, she's right. Dan's search for meaning in this movie is like that shining documentary. Yeah, Dan is really room 237ing this thing, where I think the rest of us were all like, oh, this is a piece of junk And Dan's like, what is Glenn trying to tell me? Is this about the extermination of the Native Americans? What's going on here?

I think that for me, part of the enjoyment of bad movie watching is the like the psychological disconnects like trying to find meaning in What the hell they were thinking and how badly they failed. I think I think what Glenn was thinking with this one was cool. She's naked and she's going to get blood on it. Yeah, so okay. She's riding her horse around and I guess. And the villagers are giving her some serious fucking side eye, right? Yeah. Uh, now Dan, would you would you how would you rate her on a scale of countises? 10 meaning great countis takes good care of the peasants

and zero meaning bathes in the peasants' daughters blood. How we get that is zero? Yes. Okay, fair, fair. I just can't remember the order of the victims. Okay, so she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes to a barn and she buys a virgin girl from that girl's mouth.

Is it pronounced Verkin? Verkin. Verkin. Verkin. So her mom is like, you're going to go live with the Countess now. It's going to be great. And then counts the meager number of coins that have been placed in her palm. And she's brought to the castle to be overseen by the evil Cheska.

Yeah. And that was her name. Yeah. Named after the evil list of children's book authors, John Cheska. Yeah, and this is what- That was her name? Yeah, named after the evilist of children's book authors, John Cheska, author of the stinky cheese man, and the true story of the three little pigs, and also the truck town series. April is shaking your head down. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. So this first one is the one that, like, the wrists are slid, and they're, like, she's's strong up in the bath, right? Yep. Yeah, she has a big bath. It looks like a giant demon skeleton. The bath gets its own credit in the opening credits. Yeah. So make over the bath gets its own which it's really yeah, it's amazing. It says like it says like demon tub by or something like Yeah, the back is as bowling as the one who's got her wrist slit and she's just like sitting top. She looks really comfortable.

Is that one of those bad tubs where you can like open the door and just climb out? It has to be, because Glenn is getting on in years. Because those are the kind of, the thing about those tubs is like, I can't imagine it's good for you to be like an old person to just sit there while the tubs slowly drains, getting colder and colder.

I mean, I mean, there's only, you gotta make your choices. while the tub slowly drains, getting colder and colder. I mean, there's only, you gotta make your choices. You can either have to step over a tub or dive pneumonia. Those are your two choices. Now, it's not a claw foot tub, it's a claw hand tub because it's a big demon skeleton. Yeah. All right, so now Dan, you at Reasoning

is told to bidet in your house. So you like bathroom fixture jokes, right? Yes. More about that jokes, right? Yes. So more about that later, maybe? I don't know. So she's got her arms tied up, and it is in this very artful organization because like that. Is it artful?

Well, no, I'll explain what I'm saying. The bath is full of blood, completely filled with blood. Yeah, absolutely from this woman, who is totally clean of blood, except for some like streaks going down from where her wrists were slashed. So apparently there was no spray of any kind. This, you know, like...

Or clotting. Yeah, yeah, true. I guess your wrists don't usually clot. And also, that's the way people get themselves back. Yeah, but you'd think that like the tub would have some clotting in it, which is not as cool to see just big blood clots like it can fall over her face. It's just gross. Well, that's better saying that.

So, Sheska has been using some sort of thinner to keep things like that. Well, I wanted to say that that brings me to the look of the blood where the blood looks like sort of cherry coolade much more than it does. Like a thick human substance of any kind. That's what's inside all of us, Dan. And cherry coolade. And I if I was going to be inside the coolade, man, I mean, if I was going to be generous, I could think like maybe this was a choice that Danzig was making because this movie is so clearly influenced by Jala movies and like he wants to be I don't know Dairy Argento or something the way he's

using color Steward again looks very dubious. I think maybe Dan meant that it's been influenced by Jello movies. Okay commercials for Jello Okay, no commercials for Jello. It is documented. Glidd Dads have said this. And this is what he's trying to do. So maybe in a more generous frame of mind, I'd say, okay, the blood looks like Kool-Aid because he's trying to match that kind of heightened fake

look of those. That bright red intensity. Yeah, but instead... I can absolutely give him that because I do think he's trying to do some kind of Jello stuff. But it's that I can absolutely give him that because I do think he's trying to do some kind of Jello stuff and there's Certainly that represented in the first thing where the woman gets her eyes poked out because that is the staple of the Jello genres that eyes get stabbed Way like eyes get stabbed. Yeah, bring your safety glasses

Okay, so she bathes in this one's blood for what felt like two hours? It's a long bath. And just when you're like, bath times probably over, they bring another victim in and the victim is like, just kind of like a little concerned and then they just cut her throat and cut her throat and like it's a Monty Python meaning of life vomit style like arterial spray, which I mean They would be like a lot of spray from the neck at first, but it goes on so long Like your blood pressure would have dropped so quickly But it just sprays and sprays are like a shower. I mean all of this also it gets like we were saying blood is gross

Yeah, and like it's like in we were saying, blood is gross. And like, it's like in blade, right, when the blood is discoording out of the ceiling onto all the party goers, blood's gross. Like, it's like sticky and disgusting. Like, if you're gonna get coated in it, like it's gonna feel awful. And like, it's not like you're in the shower, it's gross.

Well, she loves it, obviously, but I want to, I do want to speak to her. That's fair, that's fair. She's, she's loving life. She's like, this is my best life right now. I do want to speak to the countess is like affect, because I think that they're trying to suggest this kind of constant like orgasmic feel

from the blood maybe, like, or like wonderment, but like she looks like an alien maybe who has arrived on Earth for the first time and is just sort of taking in and amazed at everything, like directing her, like what do you think, like he was giving her as like motivation, or like do it like this, you know, what was he saying? Yeah, do you think he climbed in the bath and he's like do it like this, and then he like took a bath for like four days, and he's like okay, I guess it's it's not what scene's gonna go. I mean, I think he is probably just telling like this is the best

that like this is the best feeling you've ever had and like you love it You love blood. You're you're it's reenergizing you and it's making you young and beautiful all the time and Because she it's a certain point. I think Sheska's like, ah, you're looking younger and more beautiful than ever And like that and otherwise it's never Sheska was directing her and it's like never really explained why she's doing this. Other than that, and because she's just mean, I guess, like, she's just a weirdo. I don't know. Well, that's the thing. This movie does assume that you're already familiar with the story of Countess Bathory, who bathed in blood to make herself young forever.

Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Let's say that a lot of powerful women, I don't know. His story usually put a kind to women in power Yeah, you're right. You're right. That's fair when a woman is in power I usually people are to eat or with dignity and respect and they don't say that she fades in blood or a sex with a horse Ready of those things This movie assumes that you know that already so it doesn't feel the need to be like Notification for anything she's doing Um, is this where she she stares into the mirror

for another five hours? She stares in the mirror for a couple hours. And then she kills another version and bathes in her blood. I think we can skip forward to when she goes to the world. To be honest, guys, counter with the wolf. To be honest, there was a lot of me

riding the 10-subkin skip button in this, so she goes, I should have done that. I should have done that. She goes to the woods, she's got a piece of meat with her that I guess is part of one of her victims, although it looks like she's a steak from the store. I mean, she can buy steak, dude, she's the Countess.

I'm just like, Wolfdog comes to her, at least that's what we're supposed to be like. We're supposed to think like this is a real cool threatening wolf. I don't think we're supposed to think like this is a real cool threatening wolf. I don't think we're supposed to think it's really lame and boring. Yeah, well, it's clearly a good boy. Yeah, this is not a threat.

Well, and I kept waiting for a plot to kick in. So I'm like, oh, okay, now she's gonna like encounter the devil in the woods or something. She's gonna get in over her head. And she's gonna get her just desserts. No, that doesn't happen. And later, she's in the village again and her men are like looking at each other like,

this is crazy. Are we really doing this? And I was waiting for them to rise up and overthrow her. That doesn't happen. It's just like, it's just seen after seen of her just being just like a badass killer countess. You know, it's realism though, you know? Cause that's just like, well, no one's

going to stop her. I guess we just keep doing this. And wait, is there just basically just another victim? And that's the end. Well, she cuts open, she cuts open a virgin and eats her heart. Yep. And then takes a while. And then a cat, one of the captives escapes and she runs for a little bit, then she gets captured again. And that's one of the captated and they hold up the fake is looking and that was pretty awesome though right. It seems like a waste. It seems like all that blood spraying on the ground.

I'm like, why is the blood gonna, why is the ground gonna look younger? Yeah, why are they, I was just like, they're wasting so much blood. Yeah. It's like just, I don't know. But she gets sensible. She, I think she saw that head and she just like, they're wasting so much blood. That is, it's like just, I don't know. It's never sensible. She, I think she saw that head and she was like,

I collect these now. And she holds up this head and the only way it could be the baker is if they put a wig on a Mr. Potato head. She held it up like, it's, it looks like it's like, if she is holding up Wilson from Castaway, it would have looked better than what she has. But she takes this head home and she goes into a room where she's got like 20 other human heads on the wall.

That looked a lot more real because I think they just have the actress just putting their heads through the wall rather than the rubber head that she's carrying around. And I have to assume this is, maybe this is a slide reference to the song Skulls in which the singer mentions how he hacks the heads off little girls and put them on his wall. But maybe that's the thing that he thinks about a lot.

I don't know. It's a little Easter egg. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I guess maybe there's maybe there are like a Danzig and Miss Fitz Easter eggs throughout that I didn't notice. I do like when he goes into the room and he takes her torch and she just like does like a little like spotlight on on four or five different heads.

Yeah. So you see this room with as many heads as like are on the wall in the George Harrison, I got my mindset on you video. And. But they're not singing along. They're not singing along. And then it just kind of fakes out.

That would have been fun though. Yeah. And you're like, OK, this I guess would have been like a reveal that she does this all the time. been like a reveal that she does this all the time If we didn't already know she does this all the time, so I don't know what it's supposed to take away from this And that's the end of the story right? Yeah, that's the end of the story It's how I am if you can call it a story. It's more of a character sketch. It's just sort of And that's like that's like see you later Madarklings

Well, Morella is in the demon bath from the story And she's like after a story like that. I need a bath see you later Madarklings. Well, Morella is in the demon bath from the story. She's like, after a story like that, I need a bath. See you later, Madarklings. And yeah, that's it. And the end. That's it. That's the story of Veronica. She's like, that's all through the generations.

She's like, that's all through the generations. So April, as our special guest, how would you, how would you, I mean, I guess we go to final judgments, right Dan? But how would you sum up your thoughts on this film? What is it trying to do? What is it accomplish? What path does it blaze for independent filmmakers or big studio movies? Okay. I always try to give every filmmaker the benefit of the doubt because you have the resources that you have and you have those things to work with and that's it. I am sure

that everyone tried their best on this. There is a, there's certainly a lot of care and thought that went into makeup and prosthetics and people trying to do something fun. They're just trying to have fun. And I'm sure that when they put the eyes on the tits, they were like, yes. I feel like everybody kind of tried to match each other's energy. Yeah.

OK, that's fair. I feel like the mansfighter, that makeup effect is pretty good. Yeah, except for, I mean, there's one point where they show him fully and like his crotch is ripped open. And maybe that's part of the makeup. But I do think that the makeup of that is good and you gotta get credit where it's due because like, they're working with not a lot of resources and you're making fun, or they're making some fun stuff.

And a lot of times with makeup people, I feel so bad because it depends on how person directs it and how the cinematography is. And so if that's not great, then it's not gonna be the best showcase of their work and what they're doing. So like props to the makeup people. I feel bad how rough I was on that fake head at the end, which they really tried.

They really tried it. You should have shot it from the back. Maybe they should have shot it like not in daylight. I think that too. I mean, I thought the, I thought the effective like the, when they chopped off the head was actually pretty good. Yeah. It was fun.

Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think there's some effects things that were just like, okay, you got to remember there's like people working on this. They're giving it their heart. They're all, but like if your director is not into it and doesn't really hold it together then. Yeah, it doesn't always amount to much. So that is my thought on it. And I think that it's interesting that he's trying to bring back the anthology considering that so many people already have. Like it exists and it's a big thing. So I'm just not sure where he's trying to go with it.

Just like making sure that people remember violence in sex and horror, which is like one of the things that I talk about a lot in terms of like, maybe we need to change that. But so I was like, so I was already over represented. Yeah, it might have been over represented, but there's always kind of like this last dying gasp of just like, no, we've got to make it more violent with less story in lots of sex.

The ends in violence and you're like, oh, okay. All right. I guess we're moving backwards here. So, you know, so it sounds like a right. I think there's a lot of good pull quotes in there. They were obviously having fun. Everyone tried their hardest. What about you? So, Dan, you've met, you've been on the record a couple times in episode about how this movie was like Taylor made for you.

No, no, not at all. Yeah, I mean, to April's point and why I probably wouldn't recommend anyone to see this movie as a good bad movie in any way, other than it just being kind of boring, is that like I do find the connection of like murderous violence and sex troubling in this movie. Like the best thing I feel like I could say for it in that area is it could have been more hateful. Like, exploitation sometimes gets pretty hateful and this like has like a weird horror movie nerds like innocence to it like you just like, oh I put some fangorias and playboys together. Yeah it feels a little bit like if these were comics drawn by like Richard Corbin, I'd be like, oh, okay. Yeah, but I mean, like, so that's the reason why

I wouldn't like necessarily be. For a movie where a woman cuts out another woman's heart and eats it on camera, it's weirdly restrained. Yeah, in a way. But I still wouldn't feel comfortable saying anyone should necessarily watch it unless they, you know, you can make your own choices. But that stuff is one of the reasons why I wouldn't.

I don't think it's also as wacky as people have said. Like I think that the fact that Glenn Danzig directed it and it had like a crazy festival reaction has caused like, it's no variety on the internet but I think that there are movies much like this on like Amazon Prime if you dig into there like trash that people have made so. Yeah, I mean you guys can back me up on this. It's hard to tell a good third act in a story right? It's hard to wrap things up. You start strong, middle

kind of lags a little bit, but then we have some trouble in the final third. Can't bring it home. So yeah, all the things you guys said is right. I wait, are we saying there's a bad, bad movie? I can say that bad, bad movie. I wouldn't recommend it. Yeah, I would do the same. I think you're right Dan that if it wasn't Glendansig that made it this movie would have flown much farther under the radar yeah and I feel like it promised a lot of craziness in the first couple minutes and then settles into instead a lot of let's just call it half-heartedness yeah on the part of the filmmaker but, so I don't think I would recommend it.

Hey, you've reached Dr. Gameshow. Leave your message after the beep. Hi, this is Sarah, and I'd like to tell you about Dr. Gameshow. Dr. Gameshow was a band of geniuses or nerds or brilliant artists or kids or some combination of all of those who get together to make a show like no other, that's family friendly. It's an interactive call-in game show podcast. When I found Dr. Game Show, I found joy. I told my friends and family that if they weren't listening, they were wasting joy. I sent them the episodes that made me laugh until I cried, played it for them in the car.

They laughed too. Left their butts off. But they still don't listen on their own, so they're wasting joy. And I keep looking for someone to understand me. Maybe it's you. Give Dr. Game Show a listen and find joy. BELL

Listen to Dr. Game Show in Maximum's new episodes every other Wednesday. Hi, I'm Allie Gertz. And I'm Julia Prescott. And we host Round Springfield. Round Springfield is a new Simpsons podcast that is Simpsons adjacent. In its topic, we talk to Simpsons writers, directors,

voice-over actors, you name it, about non-Simpsons things that they've done because, surprise, they're all extremely talented. Absolutely. For example, David Exco and worked on the Simpsons, but then created a little show called Futurama. That's our very first episode. So tune in for stuff like that with Yardley Smith,

with Tim Long, with different writers and voice actors. It's gonna be so much fun. And we are every other week on MaximumFun.org, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, hey, what if, uh, what if Len Dansey did a song for the letter segment? Uh huh. What do you think that we have sound like? Cause it might be something like letters, tell you letters yes to come my way. Send letters to Dan. Let we hear what they

say letters. Danininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininin reaction is great because it's both a fair amount of laughter and turning her head away as far as you could. It is very loud. I can only imagine to avoid the spray of Spittle flying from Elliot's mouth as he howls his song. Alright, so if you want to write hell with me, send me a letter, continue. Letter song. Okay, this first letter is from Lex last name with hell. Hmm. A lot of flopper.

A sci-fi channel show. I've been listening to old episodes and deep in the archives or episodes where Mr. pedant himself, Elliot Kaylen. Pedant? He needs to be reminded who, quote, new actors are, such as Emma Stone or Bradley Cooper. Since both are now Hollywood darlings, it leaves me to wonder, are there any other actors you were surprised to see make it big in the decades you've been watching bad movies? Lex's last name withheld. I want to say for myself, it is only that it's hard for me to

remember the names of actors who are not in black and white. So when I see modern actors and they're in color, it all looks the same to me. So it's hard for me to remember their names, Bradley Cooper. That's not a name I can remember, but like Guy Kibby, that's a name I can remember. Yeah, they had names back then. Now they don't have names. I mean, they do, but still. Back then we had faces. They weren't getting stolen from us all the time Well, I don't know there aren't really any actors that I'm surprised to see make it big I mean, I don't know I mean also like who the I mean there are names that I think are funny I think it's still very funny that there's an actress named Imagine Poots and that that and she's wonderful I was great.

She just has a silly name. I was thinking about her because I was watching the Friday Night remake recently. And compared to the rest of her filmography, it almost feels like she's like cosplaying as a normal Hollywood starlet in that movie Because she's normally in such like crazy weirdo movies and she's it's such like a kind of normal one and that I don't know Okay, yeah

Maybe she's growl. What about you guys who are you? surprised to know I mean I when I remember sitting down to watch one fine day starring George Clooney, who I guess George Clooney is a good one. I never would have thought seeing this guy in return of the attack of the killer tomatoes. He would then become like a huge movie star. But seeing George Clooney playing, I think the father of a young Mae Whitman, who would have thought she would go on to be one of TV's good girls? Okay, that was weird.

Okay, I mean, I guess it is, I'm surprised by how certain our actors' careers have gone. It doesn't, like, I never would have guessed that Jake Gyllenhaal would kind of be where he is at the moment, where he seems to like seek out weirder roles and Broadway roles, more than kind of like big movie stuff. But I don't know. I think the people that I make mistakes about,

I think are often people I just dismiss as big lugs. For instance, who was I thinking? The wit out of my head is just like, oh, Channing Tatum, who early on, you're just like, okay, who's this hunk of meat? But then you see him and a bunch of stuff, you're like, oh, like Channing Tatum, you know, who like early on, you're just like, okay, who's this like hunk of meat. But then you see him and a bunch of stuff, you're like, oh, he's really good, you know. And like we had, I mean, not that he's like amazing, but I wouldn't have guessed that John Cena had such a facility for comedy. Even, this is a little sad since he's no longer with us, but even Heath Ledger, I saw him early on and 10 things

I hate about you and I'm like, okay, he's like a big lump and then everyone talked about how he was gonna be this great action Like really and then turns out they were right So yeah, I mean, I don't want to like slag anybody I'm not certainly not a judge of like who's up and coming talent. So you know, there's no one that there's no one Where I'm like shocked like this person is a star. This is crazy I think this is okay So I can actually have a story to tell for this I when I lived in Los Angeles back in like 2004 And I was very young and poor

I I like that the story rhymes already. I know. I'm trying to I'm gonna try to keep it up It's not gonna happen. I don't have the faculties for that. But I- You heard my letter song, right? Like, the bar is very low. I went on a reality show that never ended up airing or doing anything, because they were putting together this show of like, essentially, you would name your style icon of like a star that you really like their style, and then they would like give you a makeover like that person and then that person would come at the end of the show and be like

oh you're just like me and so they asked me like uh what celebrities do you think you have like like would be your style icon and I really didn't I don't care about celebrity generally but I was just like man I really love Maggie Jillin Hall. And they were like, ooh, Maggie Jillinhal, she's like kind of big, might be hard to get. Do you mind if we do Anne Hathaway? And I was like, okay, whatever. And so yeah, then they were at that time Anne Hathaway was just like poor man's Maggie Jillinhal. and then all of a sudden she became like this big star and obviously is this huge persona and Hollywood but at that time it was just like you know she's just like in some kids movie she's a princess diary yeah yeah and I thought that was really interesting now Elliott when she was your girlfriend did you think she was gonna be as huge as, uh, yeah, I don't know if April knows this story about Ellie's romantic past. I mean, not my girlfriend. She was someone who

was in the same high school as me, but other than that, we had very little interaction. But actually, Charlene had a question because she was watching Princess Diaries for the first time on the plane back from San Juan. And, uh, that's. And that's a movie that is kind of hurtful to people's curly hair because she has curly hair at the beginning and then like, you know, she like classes it up by having straight hair. So does she have curly hair in real life or straight hair? Do you remember my school?

She has straight hair. Oh, so do you think she had a wig for continuity sake in Princess Diaries? I think they might have had a friend. Probably just curled her hair. They may have curled it a wig. I think they probably just curled her hair. They may have curled it. Yeah. I think they probably just curled her hair.

This is really funny because I dated someone who used to flirt with her in high school. Really? Yeah. It was like in some plays went to like a boys high school and they like did something together. Well, that's something I think. We all kind of were like, oh, if anyone's going to be a famous actress, it'll be her because she was like star of all the shows. Yeah. She was already in a TV show by the end of high school. So, um, so I think you know what we did know that Annie was gonna be a big star

That's what we used to call her back then Annie Because she was an orphan with a dog and her her adopted father was a war prophet. Yeah, yeah, and she didn't have any People's inner eyes. Yeah, no people Yeah, that's the thing. I mean, she had, it was strange in stage plays, but for the movies, they have to hand draw her pupils in every frame. Yeah. It's a lot of expense.

A lot of expense. Yeah. So when you're watching a movie like Rachel getting married, you have no idea how much CGI work went into that film. Yeah, that's not a big budget movie. That's Jonathan Demi in his kind of like smaller picture mode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. But again's but again they had to go to I think industrial light magic to hand draw the pupils into every frame. Yeah. Well, you know, film facts.

Okay. Duncan lasting with held. Macloud or says, dear flopper, flopper estados. Flopper estados. I'm a big fan of apocalypse movies, but one of the more annoying tropes of the genre always seems to be the tendency toward God-awful future sling. They can never just call zombies, zombies, it's always walkers or biters or some shit. So my question is, what are your favorite examples of weird fictional lingo. Much obliged, Duncan lasting with help. Uh, I mean, I love apocalypse movies too. I like that one where apocalypse puts his hand on a computer and he says, learning. Isn't that wait, you mean X-Men apocalypse?

Yeah, I mean, there's an apocalypse in it. I'm technically correct. Fair point. That is an apocalypse movie. Okay, fair. Yeah. Or like, there's a movie apocalyptic and it's like, guys, you can't even use English. Come on. I mean, I have to admit, I do, I, since Dan sent us these, uh, these letters this morning, I have, it didn't have time to do research, but I did, it is something that I do love is made up future slang in, in movies or science fiction stories because it never really sounds that much like real slang. It sounds like someone's idea of just how do you take words and like chop them into little pieces. But you don't have any off the top of my head right now. Do you guys remember any?

Dan's been a big fan. You're a big fan of younglings, right? Yeah, I don't like, I mean that's a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. It's not really future slang. Yeah, that's extreme past slang., past like but I was actually I was gonna go there Busting your balls You're like actually that's not accurate, but it is what I was gonna say Death sticks dumb like a step to stop. Yeah, man, and then there's like this is not Future slaying, but we have to talk think, a little bit about Stephen King's mastery of slang. He says things like a fuckerunny or like...

Well, because he's trapped in the 1950s, Dan, and that's how they spoke. Is it? Is that Hapcat Lingo? No idea. Yep, yep, it is, I think. I'm just looking up now, and I forgot that in Back to the Future Part 2, there's a part where a police wanted, according to TV Yep, it is I think I'm just looking up now and I forgot that in in back to future part two There's a part where police want to according to TV trips that are it says the hilldale is nothing but a breeding ground for tranks Lobos and zip heads We don't want Lobos In children of men refugees are called fugees. Oh, yeah, the Well, wait is that isn't food. G's like a word? That's a short

term that people use for refugees. Is it? Yeah, that's where the food is come from. The Alano is the band. Well, that's what I'm saying. That's what it's short for. Maybe that's where they got their name from. Hmm, interesting. All right, we'll strike that from the record. Slang, I never heard before. All right, we'll strike that from the record. Slang, I never heard before. I would say my, the weirdest one for me is in the underworld movies, calling the Werewolves Likens. It requires you to know that like, like, like, like, anthropies is like the medical, whatever condition.

It felt very strange to me. Yeah, but still really say that I do like- But still really sexy when it's Michael Sheen, you know? Yeah. And I do like in a, there's a bunch of stuff in Ferry Road, but I feel like that gets a pass because it's not supposed to be like a prediction about the future. Like it's such a crazy movie that- Yeah.

It doesn't feel like he's trying to predict slang instead. It's just like, these are crazy things people might say. I just assume that's how Australian people talk. Oh, that's fair. That's fair. They talk about organic mechanics, things like that. I wish I remembered specific things, but like escape from New York and like dread, I'm thinking of like just random things, but there's something like that in every single post

apocalypse. Yeah. And the names of future drugs are always pretty funny. Oh, yes. It's always like, give me a hit of glens. Or like, I need a hit of like, spice ice. Is it fun guys? This is.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Like, I've seen the wire Elliot, and that's the kind of names they would invent for their drugs. Is it? I don't know about that. Give me some blasto. Well, I think they call it like WMDs and stuff. Yeah. It's not that far from Robocop2's nuke.

Yeah. That's true. That is also a silly name for a drug though. I don't know. I mean, when you're, when you're just looking to get blasted, what's going to blast you more than that? Yeah, you're going to get blasted. What's gonna blast you more than this? Yeah, you're gonna get the product that promises the biggest blast. And that's Luke. Stuart is saying, deep personal offenses. Don't make fun of these.

Don't make fun of Robocop too. I'm sorry. So now's the part of the podcast where we recommend movies to watch instead of Veronica, which you should watch, I don't know, anything instead of Veronica, maybe, I don't know, there's YouTube videos, just watch those of other stuff.

Yeah. Hey, watch that TikTok of the old lady putting Mentos in that two liter coke, that's hilarious. That's always great. So those are your recommendations too? Any YouTube video and also that TikTok video? Just getting started, Elliot. I'll kick us off because Verotica has a reputation as a fun, bad movie, but we did not find it so much to be so, even

though I think we had a lot of fun talking about it. I'm going to recommend a bad movie that I saw for the first time that kind of delighted me, and that's the lawnmower man from 1992. The effect still hold up, right? Yeah. The effect. The effects still hold up, right? Yeah, the effects, so okay. There was this brief Vogue in the early to mid-90s

for these internet-based thrillers, these technology thrillers. This is a virtual reality thriller. And they're conception of virtual reality. I think we've compared it to this before. It's kind of one of those mine's eye videos that you used to see back in like a new shack back in the day. Super cool. Yeah.

Just like blobs, like merging into each other. Like there's virtual reality sex in this that's literally two human blobs kind of just merging and intertwining. I mean, that's kind of what real life sex is. Oh, by the way, just two human blobs kind of just merging and intertwining. I mean, that's kind of what real life's exist. Oh, by the way, just two human blobs intertwining. Yes. And merging briefly.

And you have two children? That means you can. I have two new human blobs, yes. The lawnmower man is a, it takes its title from Stephen King's story, but Stephen King sued to have his name taken off the film because it really has nothing to do with that story which is about the godpan I believe who's like eating grass. Let's say on target Dan. Let's say on target. You're talking about the movie here. The point is it has nothing to do with it. This one, Jeff Fehie, is kind of a flowers for Alginon style,

not too bright character, but like not in any way that's recognized. Any dresses like the star of like a children's program. In human, yeah, like he's dressed like Chuckie, man. Like a big, big old human-sized Chuckie. And he's got a crazy blonde dumb and dumb or wig on. And Pierce Brosnan wants to use his virtual reality

to somehow increase his IQ. I'm not really sure how virtual reality does that, but whatever. And then he becomes sort of a godlike figure, like honestly, like, we're out halfway through the movie and I'm like, where does this movie go from here? He's already got like figure. But I won't go any further it's directed by the same

dude who later would direct virtuosity he's really specialized in virtual reality where Russell Crowe is a virtual reality composite of a bunch of serial killers Dan don't have to go into it you're just recommending one more time you have to go over just to explain a little bit about why these two movies are similar and it's interesting that they're from the same director. But anyway, I'm not saying it's a good movie, it's not. But if you want something silly that reminds you of a time when we didn't understand what

technology was, the lawnmower man might fit the bill. I want to see that on the box now. I'm not saying it's a good movie because it's not Dan McCoy, the floppice. What about you, Stu? What did you see? No, man, I've seen so much. I'm going to recommend the Lodge. It's a horror movie and it's kind of like a Mishmash like greatest hits of, you know, modern like boutique horror films. I don't want to talk about too much because there is like, like a lot of modern horror movies, it has some very specific twists that you don't want to cover, but it does seem to.

I can say that it's about a young woman who spends some time in an isolated cabin with her boyfriend's two children who don't like her very much and she also has a history with a Doomsday cult and And then they get snowed in and stuck out there and spooky things happen and it's it's not great But it's also like sillier than I was expecting. And it's pretty fun. And like, I don't know, check it out. And okay, so two, two strong recommendations April,

if you seen anything recently that you would like to get behind more strongly than Dan and sort of getting behind there today. Yes, I can absolutely recommend wholeheartedly first cow. I really want to see that Kelly Reichart's newest film. She is one of my favorite filmmakers with very few missteps. And her movie never takes the turns

that you think it's going to. And it is riveting. And it is like the lowest key milk ice to movie you can imagine. But it's really sweet and really funny. And it's really sweet and really funny and it's also, you know, somewhere in there, pretty devastating and hits your heart very, very deeply. So I love first cow. I have to admit, I can imagine a low-key milkhouse movie better than a high-key milkhouse movie.

That I would have a hard time imagining. Now I'm imagining it, no. Yeah, it's like Ocean's 11, but it's just milk. Save it for first cow to second cow. And I recently finally got to see the farewell. The movie everyone was talking about that they liked so much that Lulu Wang made and stars Aquafina. And I really liked it a lot too.

And that was really good. And I watched it after the Oscars. And I was like, I really liked it a lot too and that was really good. And I watched it after the Oscars and I was like, hmm, I like this movie a lot more than a bunch of the movies that were nominated for Oscars. The grandma's anime. The grandma is so good. Yeah, she's really good at it. Oh yeah, she's wonderful. It's always exciting to see a movie that is about a specific world and does not feel like it is made for explaining that world to people who are not from it. And it felt like I was like, okay, I'm

experiencing what these characters are experiencing and they're having conversations I could see them having that are like, you know, they're moved up a little bit because it's a movie, but I just thought it was really good and I really enjoyed it. I was with it the whole time, which is more than I can say for Veronica, which lost me I think three seconds into the movie. And my friend, X, who I work with at the Daily Show has a small role in the farewell.

Guys, I think we've reached the end. Yeah, so let's do a couple of plugs. Before you do that, why not check out Sweetplate Sisters, also on the Massroom Fund Network. If you haven't already, it's one of my favorite podcasts on the network. Thank you, Elliott. And check out new to VOD, Black Christmas, which I got a chance to rewatch.

On a plane. On a plane. Okay, I rewatched it on a plane. I was watching it. No, I think that's good because then people might be around you looking like, what is this thing he's watching? Yeah, let's see. That's the fellow next to me was watching.

The fellow next to me was watching a Joker and I think he watched the ending of it twice. Oh, yikes. Is that when you say that's the target audience? Can he look twisted? Yeah. He was pretty twisted. Yeah, it's a lot of fun, April. It's great.

All right. I think that's it. April, thank you so much for being with us. And for the flop, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stuart Wellington. I'm Ili Kaelin. I'm April Wolfe. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. A bidet is like a toilet that squirts water. He's a cleaner. He's a cleaner. So April at this point of you, A bidet is like a toilet that squirts water. A glenus. So April at this point are you thinking about all the life choices that had led you to be here? Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture.

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