The Flop House - Ep. #318 - Hudson Hawk, w/ Roman Mars

Episode Date: August 1, 2020

Did you think we wouldn't pull out all the stops for Max Fun Drive 2020? More fool you! Because in this episode, we discuss legendary Hollywood flop and Bruce Willis passion project, Hudson Hawk! And to discuss this momentous film, we're joined by Roman Mars, of the blockbuster design podcast 99% Invisible, the man many have called "The Hudson Hawk of Podcasting."* (The character Hudson Hawk. Not the movie Hudson Hawk. Because the character is so good at his job. Like Roman. Who is good at podcasting. Like Hudson Hawk is with stealing stuff.)*No one calls him this.Wikipedia synopsis of Hudson HawkMovies recommended in this episode:RelicBuck and the PreacherPortrait of a Lady on FireQuick Change

On this episode we discuss Hudson Hawk. The story of Sully Sullenberger and the miracle on the Hudson, the miracle of course being the creation of the movie Hudson Hawk, directed by Sully Sullenberger. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Oh hey Dan, it's me Stuart. Oh, okay. And your last name also? Wellington. Good. Okay, you're coming along great Stuart and I'm glad we put all that practice in before. Thanks. And I'm Stuart's, you know, Miracle Worker Style Tutor, Elliot Kaelin, but today we've got some exciting guesting with us today because joining us.

Great. We've got one of our biggest most blockbuster guests and we're really out of the gate. It's like, it's like when a horse is just like ready to go and then they open the gate and all four of the horse's legs immediately fall off. Yeah, it's because somebody pushed the little button underneath the horse and it just collapsed.

Yeah, exactly. Are I guess, is this one of those toy horses with like the red man legs? Okay, sure. Are I guess tonight, tonight? When are you while listening to this? Probably during the early morning hours. Are I guess is Roman Mars, host of 99% visible?

That's right. One of the top podcasters in podcasting and someone I personally I'm very excited to have on because 99% visible is one of my favorite shows and was one of the first podcasts I listened to where I was like oh, this is what a podcast is supposed to be like Yeah, not just three gab and jacks but but like a real show where I'm like learning things and feeling things So Roman, thank you so much for joining us. Always my pleasure. I've been listening for a very long time So it's a real it's a real privilege to be here. There's my professionalism coming out right there Yeah, that's oh no, that's just Dan. Dan is contagious

Somebody clapped What I like also is we now have I think the most extreme at that part. What I like also is we now have I think the most extreme polls of voice tone ever on the show with Romans kind of like deep dulcet, you know kind of you know beautiful sound and my kind of like what if a praying mantis could talk kind of voice you know. And I sound like an orc that's been hit on the head. Only because you're like oh looks like meats on the menu. Wait, what's a menu? How do I, in Ork and Middle Earth know what a menu is? Yeah, suddenly I have achieved consciousness and I'm going to wander off to start, I don't know, painting horns and ends in the woods. And Dan, what does your voice sound like? I mean, I'm sort of a Roman that's more of an Eor, I think.

Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. A joyless Roman. I can see that. Speaking of joyless, speaking of joyless, speaking of joyless Romans, we're going to talk about Hudson Hawk today, but first I believe you had something you wanted to talk about. Yeah, I want to bring up the fact that this episode, in addition to having a blockbuster

guest, is happening at a blockbuster time for the podcast, not the world, the world's bad right now. But the podcast is, we're in the middle of the Max Fund drive. This is one of those chill, cool, low-pressure Max Fund drives that it takes like two extra weeks to do. And that's when we're gonna talk about why, during this time, we talk about why our show's important, and we encourage you, if you like, like the show to support it with your dollars and part of

what makes the show part of what makes the show great and also Max fun in general is that the its Max fun is supported almost exclusively by listeners like you listeners who reach deep into their pockets and support support the show with their hard earned dollars and that keeps us from being controlled by corporate interests. How am I doing guys? I think you're doing it right. I would like to step you. What you got to do you got to bring the call to action up front so you got to tell people what to do to join like right now is that I'm gonna need to do this.

Okay, okay no that's that's to do this? Yeah. Okay. Okay. No, that's all good input. So what you should do, you're listening to this and you're like, man, I want to be one of those bad asses that Stuart is talking about right now. So I will go to maximumfund.org slash join and select level that is that I am comfortable with based on my, I don don't know financial stability because right now Things are tough, but you know what is a tough supporting things that are great like our show or you know, okay

You bring up the pandemic and if you're anything like I am maybe you're a little lonely during the pandemic and if you're anything like I am Maybe you labor under the delusion that your favorite podcasters are your your buddies. And so it's it's great to hang out with your your buddies. And I hope that you know during this hard time, we provide at least some semblance of a service to listeners. And we're happy that you're still listening to us. And you know, we have we're happy that you're still listening to us. And we're happy that you help us produce these things. As a listener and donor, I would contestify to that that is absolutely the truth. You do give comfort in these times.

And especially when you're talking about the times of a pandemic, but there's so few things you can control. And especially when you talk about advertising, bottoming out in the world, this is a something you can control because maximum fun is supported by you, the listener. So you can just donate at maximumfun.org slash join, and you can control this moment, you can control this thing, you can control this,

this is the one thing you can reach in and give a little bit of what you have to support a whole network of people creating art that don't have to depend on the whims of advertisers. I feel like we're just totally schooled. We're just getting, this is like one of those ads for a master class YouTube and they're like, meet your new teacher, Roman Mars. He's going to teach you how to fly a cast.

Yeah, it's like Dr. Draper just walked into the room. But like a doctor Apper just pulled out like a slide, a slide. And that's cool. And we didn't even know. I just turned my phone on. I turned my phone on and started recording what Roman was saying. So I could remember it for the future. Yeah, that's so so maximumfund.org slash join is what we want to say, right?

Yep. That's what you want to say. Okay, guys. Yeah. And now that we want to say. Okay, guys. Yeah. And now that we've gotten that out of the way, the audience is rushing to their computers or perhaps the web browser on their phone that to become a new or upgrading maximum fund member.

Guys, let's talk about a little movie that Roman decided to bring into our lives. This is a movie that I have heard about for years and years and years, but I had never actually watched it. And so I'm curious, Mr. Mars, why this one in particular? Well, I think it's held this sort of a bit of fascination for me, because when it came out, I was, I think I was around 15 or 16 when it came out, and this is an age where I was prepared to hate anything and everything that existed in popular culture.

And I saw it on video and I knew people hated this movie and so I was ready to kind of join in on it. But this is the first time I felt like I knew that people were hating it for the wrong reasons because they hated it because they wanted it to be die hard three. And but it wasn't trying to be die hard three. It was trying to be an R-rated live action, Hannah Barbarra cartoon. And I felt like this was totally missed on the public. And so I was fascinated by it.

And I kind of just sort of always thought about it afterward. Yeah, and the advertising to do it in any favors, because they were trying to sell this in action movie, which I can't blame them, because I don't know how they would have sold it as the movie it is. Because the seller is a comedy, I guess, I I mean I'm looking at the poster right now and it says in big letters catch the excitement, catch the adventure, catch the hawk and then Bruce Willis and then Hudson Hawk is in kind of the second smallest letters on the poster but Hawk is in huge letters. So it's almost like they want people to just think it's called Hawk or maybe catch the hawk.

To piggyback off that Hawk the Slayer, a man who's a strong nation. And Lady Hawk, and Hawk the Slayer had burned up the screens five to 10 years before this. And they wanted to jump on that Hawk wagon. Hawk Wind had, of course, by 1991 was long replaced by Motorhead in the hearts of Lemmy fans everywhere. But they thought, hey, maybe we get some Hawkewin fans in there.

And, let's not forget, someone must like Hawkeman, somebody somewhere, must like that character, Hudson Hawk is gonna get it. Yeah, I was reading some of the reviews from the Times when we came out. And I was baffled at how much the reviews kind of didn't seem to understand what was going on in the movie, like what the movie was doing. But maybe, maybe it's because, and I have a theory about this, maybe it's because, at the time, there were a lot of action comedies, and so it was hard for them to look, and looking at it back now, I'm like, oh, this is like, I mean, this is like, if someone watched Hang-Win Cash when it came

out, they're like, oh, another one of these, and it doesn't make sense, and it's dumb, forget it. But looking at it now, you're like, this is a refreshing slice of madness. That is nothing like the things that are being made right now. Well, and I think that when I first tried to watch this, I knew it was a bad movie and I was trying to watch it for being a bad movie or not a bad movie necessarily. We'll get to that. But like a critical and commercial flop and and it even as like Viewing ironically it confounded me and now I feel like I've cast away all preconceived notions And I can see that it's almost like more in the spirit of like I don't know like our man flint or something like a like a super

Campy like globe-trodding adventure and I don't know but like I do want to say, let's not pretend that everything about this movie is the product of calculation. Because my friend, I'll shout out my friend Kevin Cecil who sent me an introduction that he did to this movie when he presented it. I think it was either at the Nighthawk

or the Alamo,e can't recall but um... but this movie like the character of Hudson Hawk is based on a song that like Bruce Willis Bruce Willis was playing harmonica and like the house of blues or somewhere like that he was playing harmonica when he was still a bartender no no i'm saying that he was playing harmonica at this place. Uh-huh. And like, he just got up and started joining in with the band, unass for it. Yeah, I'm just saying this is not, this was before he was famous that this happened.

So it probably wasn't like the stage of the House of Blues. There's like a band playing at a bar somewhere, you know. Uh, well, I mean, my point is he did it with that, like, it's not like he was in the band. So it could have been either one. What was he, but the band called him up on stage I need to know more the reason I bring up this wouldn't have gotten so fucking Convoluted of Elliot did something with their relevancies no no the reason I bring it up is because this is something that this is an idea That was in Bruce Willis's head for a long time this character of Hudson Hawk the celebrity thief, you know

Yeah, Elliot. That was the thing that I was explaining you didn't need to jump in and hijack it sorry I apologize I was a real Hudson Hawk there cat burglaring in to take control yeah the point is this he like came up with this character with one of his like blues buddies and like in the his movie the blues buddies and this was before as you say Bruce Willis was famous in any way, but he like always said, like he was going to make this movie about this character that they came up with for his song long ago. And turned this into a movie.

And then meanwhile, like Steve and he did Suza like wrote the script for this, the diehard guy. But then they brought in Daniel Waters, who wrote Heathers and Demolition Man and Batman Returns. and then less awesome things like the dishes of Ford Fairlane. I assumed to like, weird up the script a little, but then Bruce Willis kept rewriting all the stuff on set to his own like, whims, his like Bruno whims. It was a little bit like with Do Little, where it's apparently Robert Downingenier would

just come to the set and be like, hey, what if I gave an anima to a dragon? And they're like, okay, like it's your movie, go ahead. We're gonna, I guess that's what's gonna happen. In this movie now that people are gonna pay money to go see that we're gonna release in theaters as a professional thing. But Dan, I think probably there's a lot of, we'll talk more about the behind the scenes shenanigans,

because this was a very difficult shoot. But I will say, as you said, not everything was kind of like, was according to plan, but how could that be when the first time it was released on Blu-ray in 2013? It was included as a set with Hollywood homicides, starring Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnet,

which is clearly exactly where it was meant to be. We have some random movie no one cared about from 12 years later. Guys, let's talk about it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Delis, I just want to say to the listener, I feel like there's been a lot of concern about how much more irritable we are with one another of late from listeners. They like this show because of the friendship. I just want to say it's because of the friendship that we can be to say it's because of the friendship that we can be irritable to want to.

And then just ignore it five seconds later. I have to imagine Dan, I've not heard any worries or complaints. Oh yeah. Look at all these letters, saxom, saxful of letters addressed to Santa Claus, which I guess is me asking, Santa Claus, for a Christmas, can you please have Elliot be meaner to Dan?

And I'm like, all right, if Chris Grangle noted anti-Semite, at once made a do it, then sure, okay. I mean, go ahead. I'm speaking to the sensitive listener, Ellie, the one like me who worries about things that have no bearing on his life. Okay, that's fair. Now, we should get into the movie

since I do have seven and a half pages of notes about what happens in the vlog. No. So this that's fair. Now, we should get into the movie since I do have seven and a half pages of notes about what happens. So this is going to be buckle up, boys. Okay, so the movie begins as the best movies do with a giant illuminated tone telling the story of Da Vinci's how Da Vinci was supposed to build an enormous bronze horse statue. That's a true story. He was commissioned to do that. I think eventually they did build that statue like sometime in the last 15 years or so, based on his original plans,

but as they explained, bronze got scarce because of all the wars. You need bronze for wars because nothing wins wars like bronze. And he's, so he makes a big, what I would call steampunk, but I'm wrong about that because according to Wikipedia, it's clock punk technology, it predates steam. So I wish I mean it predates the Peter Gabriel song steam.

So it's a clockwork machine that turns, he wants to turn lead into bronze, but uh oh, he did it wrong. Using his three magic, mentally, crystally, jaggedy pieces that when you put them together into puzzling, you hit them with a laser, it turns lead into gold. Bump, bump, bump, bump. And we spend a lot of time watching Dr. Davinci, watching Leonardo Davinci, who is not a doctor, do not take anyone's eyes from him.

Oh, wait, hold on. How are we going to sell this to CBF? Now, all you've said is, like the rest of the podcast is beating out the pilot to Dr. Dan. Honestly, like if we could sell that to CBS tomorrow, that's what separates us from rich, famous television producers is I say Dr. D'Vinci and I'm like, that's stupid.

He wasn't a doctor. And they would be like, yes, it's Leonardo da Vinci, but he's a doctor. This is perfect. It's like house meets what's an old time that meets the Da Vinci, but he's a doctor. This is perfect. It's like house meets What's that what's an old-timey that meets the Da Vinci code? That sell it. Damn. Why are we not selling this right now? I don't know. Anyway, this is a whole section of the movie that I did not remember actually at all Like I did not remember how it opened this this Da Vinci code nonsense. It's like completely was like seeing it with fresh eyes It's so absurd and it takes takes, it takes a long time

and it was obviously very expensive. And the movie does not need it. There's like a little bit of like kind of jockey voiceover. And then it's just in Italian with no subtitles, DaVinci walking through his workshop just yelling things at people and then putting on sunglasses so he can watch the laser turn, bronze and turn lead into gold.

And then he tricks someone into testing a glider. Well, that'll come up later. We have to see that glider work because we know you need to know that someone has a glider. And he walks past, he's painting Mona Lisa, but he hasn't painted in the smile yet, and she smiles and she's got terrible teeth. Oh, boy, that's a joke for the art crowd. That's a high brow joke. And there's going to be a second tooth joke soon. But I want to say, perhaps part of the reason this was

roundly rejection by the public is, I was watching this with Audrey who had no prior context for the movie or idea of what to expect. And it was very confusing to A, start with Leonardo da Vinci, and then B, have everyone in the movie sort of off the bat talking about old-timey tough guys. And it was just like, she had a reaction that I didn't understand, but I think other people like, perfectly reasonable to have was like, what is this movie?

Where is it set? Like when is it set? What type of what is this movie? Where is it set? Like when is it set? Like what type of thing is this? And I think that people who don't see a lot of movies are less comfortable with not knowing exactly what type of movie they're seeing. I can see that. Well, I think also there's certain types of movies that you expect to come in certain forms. I think this is a carolary what you're saying much as my I know who killed me theorem Which is that if I know who killed me had been an Italian people would be like oh look what it does with color It doesn't matter that the plot doesn't make sense. Oh look at it. It's a it's a dreamscape I think if Hudson Hawk was a Hong Kong movie with Hong Kong actors the clashing of tones and the craziness

People would be like I love it. It's crazy. It's like a goofy cartoon But to have an American movie with American actors and a lot of, and it's a huge name cast and British actors to have them all in it. It's like, what is going on here? Whereas the same movie from another country, I think people might have been like, those goofballs in that other country,

they make these crazy movies. Oh boy. I remember when I watched it the first time, I was into, I was watching a lot of Monipython movies and it sort of fit squarely into that in my head. And one of the reasons why I think my brain accepted it at that time and was rejected by other people at that time was the same sort of thing.

Like it felt, if I got it, I didn't think it was altogether successful, but at least I got what was going on. Yeah, I mean, it is not altogether successful. And there's one scene in particular, which I think is, we'll get, it's probably the scene everyone is assuming, is I think maybe one of the worst scenes

in the history of film, but we'll get to it. So now flash forward 500 years later, and we're introduced to Kat Birgler, Eddie, the Hudson Hawk. Now, is his last name, oh, his last name is Hawkins, okay. Because sometimes the characters call him Eddie, sometimes they call him Hawk, and sometimes they call him Hudson. And I was very unsure at any point,

which of those words was actually part of his real name. But he's a famous cat burglar. We meet him on the day, he's getting at a jail, and he's so smooth, and you know that because he's got three earrings in one ear, none in the other, I believe. And he's got a black fedora and a black trench coat and a black t-shirt and black slacks and black shoes by by the way those clothes that and

can't can't lack yet thanks the boys of time bar you're saying Stuart the boys of time bomb yeah I just wanted to say that the releasing officer makes fun of him for wearing the same clothes when presumably these are the clothes that he came in with when he was arrested like i don't think that you can be like all check out mr. prister over here wearing the same thing that he came in with

crazy can't even online shop yeah don't you get the jane cruise catalogs in behind bars? Come on, come on, come on, guys, come on. Consider the real real. Consignment for less. But this is also the first moment where I realized, again, I forgot that this is an R rated movie like the parole officer says, fuck, for the first time. And then I was like, Oh, well, they used up their fuck for the first time. And that he's got to be no fucks from here on out. But it is full of fucks after that.

This movie, you could say it doesn't give a fuck, but actually gives dozens. Yeah. And that's, it has no business being an R-rated movie. It makes no sense whatsoever. This should be a PG-13 movie. And it, but it shows it's 1991. And it's an interesting to see how things shift.

In the 80s, you could have a PG-rated comedy that had nudity in it. In the 90s, if you were making action movie, people are just going to swear the shit out of that action movie. But now, even if you're making a horror movie, they're going to want it to be a PG-13 movie. It's just interesting the way that that goes back, like you'll watch movies from back then and you're like, this would not fly now. But also, the swearing is so gratuitous. Any movie where a big plot point is the character being able to sing old standards with his buddy,

like there's not really a reason why it should be in our rated movie and they should be swearing all the time. Not only a big plot, the best plot point. Uh, next this is where you and I, maybe are again on opposite poles. So Eddie, his parole officer immediately tries to threaten him into robbing an auction house and he's like, come on, it's my first day out of jail. You want me to go back to being a criminal again?

But he's real. Wait, that's your Bruce Willis? No, sorry, I'm Brad Bruce Willis. Well, the thing is, I can't do 90's Bruce Willis. I can do now's Bruce Willis where he's like, hey, yeah, yeah, I don't think I'm going to be going back there anymore. I can do like current sad all the time, Bruce Willis was like, hey, yeah. Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna be going back there anymore. I can do like current sad all the time, Bruce Willis. But I don't think I can do like the Bruce Willis back

when his thing was jokes. I can do the Bruce Willis now when his thing is that he's always on the verge of crying. I mean, I think old Bruce Willis had the same sort of lack of enthusiasm for stuff. He was just let's smugger about it. So if you can just sort of combine those two things. Okay, he is very smug.

And I think that's the other thing that turned people off instantly is that Bruce Willis is so incredibly smug in this, especially for a character who never really seems to be in real danger and always gets what he wants. I mean, that's what makes him smug. Is he's always ends up on top. And sometimes that's funny when it happens here, but there are times when it's like,

the movie is so like, you love this guy so funny. Look at him. He's your favorite. Don't you want to, don't you want to like be him? Don't you want to do him and be him? Don't you want to be him and do him? So it's two of him doing each other. And like, wouldn't that be the best? And it's, it's very... And I think that's you feeling the influence of Bruce Willis, like co-writer and, you know, driving creative force behind this in the movie. He also, he does have some of the worst quips I've ever heard in a, in a, not worst movie in the world action movie. He is, like, and I have to assume he ad-libs some of them, but they're, they're terrible.

They're just terrible jokes. But, but also the time, at the time, I was more bought into him. He's kind of like, Bruce Willis at this time is kind of like, you know, like a kid who's like two years older than you, like you're at 13, he's 15, and he has a popped collar, and he's like, he's like super cool, and you think he's amazing, you just want to be him, and then you get like two years older,

and you're like, that guy was a loser. Like, I'm like, I'm so a loser. Like, that guy sucks. And but at the time, he's just fascinating. And so he has that, like my tolerance for his smugness has dropped precipitously in the 30 years since this movie came out. I think that says a lot about your maturing as a person that I'm proud of you,

that you didn't stick with that love of Bruce Willis is like the ultimate dude. Oh man, look at this guy. And you're probably onto like more of a Jeff Bridges type of admiration. Yeah, of course. I feel like once you reach a certain age, you transfer from Bruce Willis to Jeff Bridges

and you're like, oh, I should have always felt this way, but you can't, it's impossible. Like Jeff Bridges won, he doesn't make that many movies that kids in Teenager see. And number two, it's just kind of a deeper sort of doodness that eventually we'll get old and we'll find Jeff Bridges to be smug. And that's when it's all Charles Durning all the time.

And we just know that Charles Durning is just like the coolest guy with the smoothest moves. I mean, that's the most logical progression that goes through the real estate. It's Jeff Bridges. Charles Durning, man, right there. Yeah, exactly. And then you die and you go all the way back around, and you're like Eric Von Stroheim has it going on,

and all these movies, recent evil German, amazing. Okay, anyway, so Eddie, he gets out of jail, right as he's leaving the doors, his best friend, that's right, Tommy Fivetone, Danny Ayello, pulls up in his fan's heel car, he hands him an espresso, which is the thing that that or it's a Capuchino the thing that he knows that that he wants more than anything else and I have to imagine he must have gotten it before Driving up to the prison. So must be so lukewarm by now if not cold, but Bruce Willis just cannot wait to have this cold coffee in a in a diner cup

They go back to five tones Tommy's bar, which Bruce Willis is, I guess, a co-owner of maybe, which in the time he was imprisoned, it went from a cool kind of, probably not guys who are connected, but guys who wanna be connected. Kind of the old neighborhood type guys, it turned into a real yuppie hangout that even has the most horrible food,

Bruce Willis can imagine, reindeer goat cheese pizza. Now let's stop for a moment. Is it goat cheese pizza with reindeer meat? Or is it that when you make reindeer cheese, you also call it goat cheese, because it's more similar to goat cheese and consistency than cow cheese. Dan, you're the culinary expert, please explain.

What is reindeer goat cheese pizza? You know, I guess this would like, all right. When I heard it, I thought it was referring to a type of cheese. The whole thing was referring to a type of cheese. And I thought that because later in the movie, Bruce Willis says, go back to your reindeer goat cheese. As if that was the thing and not like, the pizza was not an important part of that.

But reindeer meat with goat cheese definitely would make more logical sense. I will say that this is how you also you know what time period this is because the worst threat America was facing was Yuppies and a scent of Yuppies. Well, it's kind of like how when we watched Howard the Duck that live show is up on our YouTube channel, when we watched Howard the Duck, it was like just,

it was just a joke that a restaurant would serve sushi. The idea of a fusion restaurant that had sushi in it was like instant joke and that dates that movie. Now, according to IMDB trivia, Bruce Willis also mentions Ranger goat cheese pizza in the last Boy Scout. So does that mean these movies are in the same cinematic universe,

the reindeer goat cheese pizza cinematic universe or RGCPCU. I feel like he must have had one bad experience with reindeer goat cheese. I mean, I don't know where he did it, but... Do you think there's a chance that it was just reindeer cheese? It just happens to be the greatest of all time reindeer cheese. Oh, that could be it. It was sold to him as greatest of all time reindeer cheese. Oh, that could be it. It was sold to him as greatest of all time cheese

from a reindeer, and he never let it go. Okay, yes, now it makes perfect sense. Thank you Stuart, for explaining that to me. Now, here is where a mobster gets Bruce Willis' attention by shooting the espresso cup out of his hand. The fact that that bullet would not be stopped by the cup but would instead go keep going and kill someone is never attended to. Similar, much later in the movie Bruce

Willis, a bullet bounces off his belt buckle, which is crazy. And it's not like he has a big crazy belt buckle. It's just a regular men's belt buckle. That would have killed him. Yeah. And this also sets up the, like, the character arc for the entire movie which is Willis's search for cappuccino being thwarted at every turn. This is kind of a birds of prey egg sandwich situation. Yeah. This was very frustrating This was yeah Every time he wants a cappuccino. He just it's it's a real discrete charm of the bourgeoisie That's going on in the background of this movie or he just cannot get that cappuccino. You know, I've been talking about stress streams

with a lot of people lately for, I don't know what the reason I've been talking about stress streams right now, but I was saying that my most common type of stress stream is there is a relatively simple task that I need to perform, I want to perform, and things keep hitting in my way. So I need an example of when these simple tasks. Yeah, paint a word, actually. Like I, there was one where I was just like, I have to like, look up something and I can't,

like I can't get the computer to work, I can't like find a reference book like all this, like I mean, I forget my dreams pretty quickly because they're also extremely elaborate Broke in a sense that keeps shifting genre but I forget everything. Yeah. Oh, oh, I see what's happening here. I Get I get the bit And my Venmo for this session is I get I get the bit and my Venmo for this session is okay

I mean fair enough you did the work Dan I'm gonna write you a prescription for a hundred milligrams of nobody cares I'm gonna write you a prescription for a hundred milligrams of nobody cares ten times a day I'm just getting fascinated by your subconscious it's's crazy place okay so uh... turns out the couple shot of his hand by some thugs led by these mobsters the mario brothers get it it's a joke uh... one of the two maribothers

frank salon is the brains of the group which gives you an indication of the level of these mobsters uh... they recognize franks sold out still on because he looks exactly like his brother uh... only a little less droopy i mean he looks like a guy who got surgery to look like Sylvester Stallone. That's it. Yeah. He, they want him to pull off this heist of the auction house,

the same one that the Pearl Officer was trying to get him to do. And Danny Iao, he smashes a wine bottle over one of their heads and they leave, but they are still threatening him. So he's got to go do this, just heist. He just got out of jail as he continues to remind everybody throughout the movie. As they're preparing they're going over the robbery plan and Danny I.O. is quizzing Eddie on the lengths of different songs. This is his amazing skill. Besides being a cat burglar as he

knows the exact length of the second of every song that you ask him. According to IMDB Goofs he's often wrong in his answers, but the movie takes them as a totally correct. You're treating that as if those two things are unrelated, but there are joined facts. The reason why he's such a good cat burglar is because he knows all the length of these songs, because that is his timing watch. It's the length of the songs. I wonder if that's something that is a way of them trying to make him into a fantasy figure, is it's like, well, I could never be a cat cat burglar but I do know how long that song is like all these music nerds are like hey maybe I could do it too um I the thing that uh uh it's gonna seem so weird for me to object to the reality of this in Hudson

Hawk the movie Hudson Hawk but uh the thing that bothered me is I feel like if this was a guy is like I know the length to the second of every Sinatra song or old standard like yeah sure but it seems like he knows every song in that like he's asked about Mariah Carey singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl at one point. They mention in the goofs that uh on i'm to be that uh he says that it takes uh he's they say how long is Whitney Houston's in the National Anthem and he goes seven minutes and in actuality It was like someone else saying it at that super role. It was two and a half minutes And then it's only after I read that goof that I was like yeah, seven minutes is a crazy amount of time to sing the national anthem Like is she singing every verse even the bad ones even like the ones that

That are offensive like what is going like I know when you're like a soul or a hip-hop type singer, you really extend those syllables and you can really extend a song, but like that seems like for the national anthem, you got to believe that the Super Bowl producers were tapping their watches and they're like, she's eating into the commercial time. Like we cannot. And we need to have the premiere of friends right after the Super Bowl. We said in the commercials right after the Super Bowl, We said in the commercials, right after the Super Bowl,

like just pull her mic, she can't even finish. We'll just end on Rocket's Red glare and then we don't need the rest of the song. Like, come on. Now, Ely, it was finding out that piece of information was at the straw that broke the camel's back and you're like, I don't know what to trust anymore. Were you like, yes.

Is this my computer or is it a cake? Is it sort of thing? I'm just like the guy in the guy in Maltees Falcon almost get hit by a grudder. I walked away from my family, walked away from my job. I just said, I live in a world where there are no standards. And I've got to start over a new. And that's why I got to tell everybody, this is my last episode of the flop house. Next week, I'll be starting my new podcast, hey, what?

Which is me just kind of not knowing what things are going on. Just kidding, this is my last episode of podcast. I'm gonna do probably a thousand more episodes. Yeah, I would say too. I would be perfectly happy for this to be moved over to incorrectly regarded as goofs under the assumption that the hawk is just fucking with him. If not for, as Roman says, the fact that this is integral

to his cat burglaring, like, to know the links of these songs. It is also integral to me enjoying the movie at all. Yeah. It's a tell you the truth. Interesting. This is what unlawful movie for me is, it's ridiculousness of this premise. What's funny is, when that, when the bullet shatters his coffee cup,

and he just like does a Jack Benny slow burn look, that's when I started realizing, I don't think this movie is on the level. I think this movie might be messing with me, but then this next scene really pulls it off. But it's really one of those things that shows you the mix of tone in that. Sometimes violence is just goofy,

coffee cup exploding, and sometimes violence is a bunch of syringes in your face. And it's sort of like the tone of this thing just bounces back and forth in these incredible ways that are crazy. And it gets increasingly cartoony at an increasing pace. Like I'm sure somebody could do the algebraic formula that talks about the increasing rapid rate of cartoony

as the movie goes on. And by the end of it, I was just like, all right, like I can't even, like I don't even, I cannot pretend to care what happens to these characters. As we'll see when James Coburn's martial arts abilities cause Bruce Willis to be trapped in a, just swiveling at the waist. Looped unlocks them in that animation, yeah.

Yeah, so they go and they do, they're gonna do this elaborate job. They gotta use pool lifesavers to get on a rope and walk across this building. Yeah, so they go and they do they're gonna do this elaborate job. They got to take use pool lifesavers to get on a rope and walk across this building and the whole time they've got to Switch the security tapes so that the guards don't notice and the whole time they are having a ball They are laughing. They are joking. There is no suspense on their part They could they are so this is when this mung is really got to me because it was like they are so Confident and their abilities to pull off this heist that at no point do they ever betray

that they're even taking it seriously or care that much about it. You know? Well, there's also this constant pattern of like, kind of busting each other's balls. That's all of it's in the form of jokes. Like Bruce Willis clearly thought that these were all jokes,

but none of them are really funny. Yeah. None of this, like, of them are really funny. Yeah. None of this like, yeah, this banter. It basically just comes down to him being like, hey, you're fat, Danny I.L. Hey, hey, you know, no, you're looking good, you're looking good, you're fat, so, hey, like that's basically the level. And it has the classic heist trope of not telling each other what they're going to do during this elaborate heist, which is something that's always amazing to me.

Especially since we had a scene right before this where they're supposed to be going over the plan for the heist. But they keep surprising each other. And it's almost like they are a heist couple that has been doing this for so long that they're so bored with each other. The only way they can keep the spark alive is to constantly surprise each other in the heist room and just kind of keep

pulling tricks so that they keep each other on their toes. Oh, let's roleplay during this heist room and just kind of keep kind of keep pulling tricks so that they keep each other on their toes, you know, like it's like, oh, let's let's roleplay during this heist. Let's say during this heist that I'm the school principal and you're a naughty student. Okay, but we're still stealing a horse statue from an auction of tacky horse art, right? Yes, of course, that's exactly what we're doing. But maybe I handcuffed you, but they're like fuzzy handcuffs. Like that's what it feels like. They really got to get the spark in. Yeah, and they've got this elaborate song-based timing thing, and I kept wondering, so just the timing of the song figure in, like the way that they're going everywhere really slowly, because they're dancing along to their own singing, and is it like figure in the fact that after the heist, they just kind of stand around congratulating each other for a while.

Yeah, this is the problem is that the song, the idea of a heist time to a song is a really neat idea. And you could build a real neat sequence about it. But it fails for these reasons. One, smug up the wazoo. They're so smug about it. Two, they're singing, would you like to swing on a star? Which is, I'm just going to say it, a dumb song.

It's a standard, but I think it's a really dumb song. Three, it doesn't, like you're saying, it does not line up with any of the things that they're actually doing, and four, it's not the same length as the heist. So they do end up having all this dead time at the end where they're just kind of killing time when they should be leaving, you know?

Yeah, and I am glad that you brought up the song. Would you like to swing on a star? Because I was thinking about it after the movie. I'm like, I like that song. I think like the tune for instance is great and like the chorus, I like it quite a bit, but there's two problems with it. One, it posits that you, the listener, doesn't know what various animals are and need them explained to you. And two, it gives this world where your two options are either being turned into an animal or swinging on a star.

Which I don't think, I can't relate to that. To be honest, there's a fantasy movie in the world that that song describes. Where you reach the age of like what, 13, and you have a choice of either becoming a celestial being who cannot interact with the physical world, like you swing on stars of either becoming a celestial being who cannot interact with the physical world. Like you swing on stars.

That's how you control your trajectory as a spirit being through space. And you get to see all these amazing wonders. You're part of the ether and part of the fernrament of the heavens, but you can't enjoy regular life, or you become the lowest of brute animals. And you can take part in the physical pleasures of life, feed eating, rutting, pooping, but you'll never know any of the higher pursuits of, you know, the cosmos. And so, I mean, that's, I mean,

it's not a movie, maybe it's like a short story, but I mean, maybe that's what the song is about. But as it comes out now, it's just two guys who like every Italian man of a certain age believes he can sing just like Tony Bennett. And it's just built it out while kind of like half-chuckling to himself. And they're like, it really seems to get in the way of the robbery. I guess that's what the problem is that I have with it.

But they do manage to steal the scale model of DaVinci's horse. Their mischief gets noticed. They've got to run from the guards. Bruce Willis bongs their heads together. It makes like a bonk, Hannah Barbera sound effect, which is the kind of thing I always love. But you've got to prepare me for it in some way. You can't come out of nowhere.

I got to know this is like this. It's just let me know ahead of time is the kind of movie where I'm going to be able to hear where you might hear see someone run and hear Bongo noises at the same time. I just need to know. Yeah, for instance, the heist could be taking place in like tune town or something, right? Exactly. Or like, for instance, when in the moment in Godzilla Final Wars when Rodan's wings flap and create a wind and a cops hat and a pimps hat fly off their heads and you hear Zing!

By that point, you know this is the kind of movie where there might be a sound effect when someone's hat flies off their head. It's not totally taking you a surprise, but I digress. They manage to escape by jumping off the skyscraper and awning that rips almost instantly manages to break their fall and rather than having all their bones shattered or dying They end up in the apartment of Eddie's Pearl lovester. He's delivering the horse and that's when a A new character enters the first of an increasing series of goofy characters as a kind of Butler assassin in English butler assassin comes in and he dresses like a butler and has a Boller hat and they has an English accent. So everyone just assumes he's a butler and he does turn out to be a butler. So I thought it was just a quip that Brusulis was making, but no, he was accurately identifying in the wild this life form, the English butler.

He accepts the horse and then smashes it inside is one of the pieces of the gold making machine. Then for some reason, he uses a retractable knife in his sleeve to kill Hawksboro officer by just slashing his throat open. Don't know why he did that. And then he leaves. And he doesn't kill the other witnesses. He just does that. Now, this was also the first moment in the movie

where it was like real hardcore violence. And again, in the tone of it was like, again, if this is a Hong Kong movie, I'd be like, yep, I'm ready to see someone's head explode and then see a scene where someone cries over their best friend being in the hospital. And then a scene where someone's slipping on paint and they just fall down and get all paint messy.

But again, in an American movie, I was like, whoa, that was more extreme than I thought it was gonna be. How did you guys take it? How did it affect you guys? Roman sitting in the theater, we were like, whoa, cool. Were you like, what? Or were you just like, huh? Or were you just like not paying attention?

Or maybe you'd gotten up to the bathroom at that point? I don't know. Fill me in. I mean, I don't know if I was as shocked at the time, but I definitely feel it today, where it was just like that doesn't. You know, like I was pretty down with any type of violence that could happen at the time.

Yeah. And so now I notice it as being sort of in Congress. But the whole scene starts with him. They jump to the awning and then it cuts to him falling through onto the barco lounger in the apartment. And so, and again, this is one of those things where I'm like, I don't know if I want more of that movie, but at least it's something. You know, like there's something, you know,

and then he comes in with the knife and slits a throat and you're just like, what the fuck is going on? It's like, what? And there's a better version of that exact bit later in the movie. But there was a moment where I was like, wait, did he fall through an awning or did he fall through the roof of an apartment?

Or did, is there an apartment under the sidewalk, under the awning? And he fell through it like it's a very confusing cut. But yeah, it's like this is a it's a movie that it's almost like a movie that's like it's like an optometrist and they're like you like it like this. Or do you like it like this? Better number one or better number two. Better if it's a heist thriller or better if it's a goofy comedy. Better if it's super violent or better if it's like it's like handbarberia sound effects. Better if they say the swear words a lot or better if the jokes are like things that a 10-year-old would enjoy

it's it's I guess what I'm saying is Hudson Hawk has something for everybody put it on the DVD box Ellie Kalen on the block as as David Caruso shown up yet no he is about to the next day the robbery has been the weird thing is Stewart asked that about everything. Yeah. Yeah. Next day, the robbery has been covered up. The auction is still going on for this horse statue. Eddie goes to the auction to see what's going on. He is, he is like, how much does a tuxedo cost? And then you see him in the most 1991 tuxedo.

Roman, you are the design expert. Please explain this. He shows up like a member of the Pr, a Princess Revolution, and it is just glorious. And if you could, you know, if there's a still of an image that represents 1991, you know, like this is it. It is beautiful. This it has a nice, padded shoulders, no tie, because who has time for that nonsense? It comes to a tuxedo and it is cut beautifully. It is absurd socks for days. It has loafers, really low loafers and just socks that are like the great planes. It is just glows.

It's a beautiful tuxedo and he's not the only one who's dressed up. It's a kind of Tuxedo you might wear If you were escorting Cindy Crawford to a planet Hollywood opening, you know That's I mean that that seems like a very specific scenario It seems to be the only one wearing a Tuxedo so I don't know why this is required of this particular job It's like I wish there was a joke about it where it was like he thinks that every auction is like a black tie event. So he's in a tuxedo and everyone else is in just kind of like suits.

But no, there's also, yeah, well with no time, of course. Yeah, but there's also a bunch of people who we're not sure who they are, but they're also very, they're also dressed up like Dick Tracy villains, circa 1991, in the back. One of them being, that's right right the star of jade david caruso uh... will get to him

uh... they ask they don't have to explain who david caruso was and like uh... okay well if you haven't seen in white pd blue and you have no idea what jade the movie left in white pd blue for is uh... i don't know and i'm like oh yeah later on i'm like oh yeah he's in that csi show that's the that's the current david kruso country and even that is like a twelve year old david kruso context it's it's hard to it's hard to explain to someone what a big deal it

was that david kruso left n y pd blue after one season to make jail like i was a kid and I remember it being something that I was aware of, that a show I had never watched, the star of it I had never heard of before, was leaving to make a movie I would never see. And somehow this is- The erotic action thriller Jay. It was a big deal that he was going to be in the extra house follow-up to basic instincts. Like, oh man man it was a

it was a simpler time by which I mean a time when the decisions of white men were just of a higher importance and inflated importance some would say an unreal unnecessary importance. So he goes to the auction house and he knows that this horse is a fake because he stole the horse and yet auction expert Andy McDowell attests that the horse is real by holding it briefly for a moment. Holden it briefly. He tries the first of a series of time in which people touch priceless artifacts with their bare hands, which really stressed a lot. Yeah.

But later when he steals a Leonardo da Vinci codex and he's just pulling it, he's like shoots it with a dart and then pulls it with a grappling hook up into the air And I was like that thing is falling apart. There's no way Yeah, but it's also Also before he knows it anti McDowell is the appraiser. He kind of like Tries to hit on her by saying something about oh, I guess if you want to get into art You have to look like a constipated warhog or something like that. And I'm like, okay, first off, that's a terrible pick up line.

But second, like she's at the art auction. Why would you think that insulting people at an art auction would be the way to go? Because he's Brucy W. He's getting the way to choose there ironically. Yeah. Yeah. And it's clear that she notices the horse,

and also the gloves, that could have helped to build the suspense. Like he's like, uh-oh, she's going to know it's clear that she notices the horse and also the gloves that could have helped to build the suspense like he's like Uh-oh, she's gonna know it's a fake as she's putting the gloves on and getting ready But they don't do that she just picks it up. She knows it's a fake she looks at him and then says oh no It's real. It's the real DaVinci horse statue. That's when who bursts in but the best character one of the two best characters in the home movie That's right Darwin may flower the eccentric mean billionaire played by the great immortal Richard E. Grant and this is the book i've been this movie i've been wanting to read Richard E. Grant's memoirs for a long time and it wasn't until i watched this movie and in doing research realized an entire chapter of his

his book is about Hudson Hawk that i ordered it i was was like, I have to read it now. Totally. He's so good. He is so good. He is so good. He's like, he's the only person in the movie who I feel like him and Cinderburn Hart are the only people who are accurately getting the tone of the movie, which is big and dumb.

And like, he just walks in and he walks in and yells $100 million. Clams. 100 million clams. That would be so, I forgot. I will make the objection. I do think that there are the two people who get the tone. And I really like Sandra Bernhardt in like kind of as a persona, as like a performer.

I don't think that her acting is very good here in Hudson Hall. Are you saying the part of the evil billionaire who wants to destroy the world by undermining the gold market with a 15th century machine that she didn't pull that off realistically that you never believe in the situation. I just think that she sometimes has some like complex lines that she has to spit at the camera and they always sound like they're lines rather where Richard E. Grant is you know like I mean I'm amazing. If you're getting me if you're trying to get back me into a corner, why argue that Sandra Bernhard is as good

an actor as Richard E. Grant, I'm gonna avoid that corner. I'm not going in there. I'm not gonna call me, call me baby, because you're not back at me in that corner. There's a stiffness to her that I feel like is a choice, but it is definitely odd. Yeah. Whereas he is really hamming it up in a way

that still feels like it comes from the character in some ways. You can see her choices, but I still think both of them, like I would drop the May flowers as villains into any movie. Yeah. I'm going to say it's so good. Apparently, apparently, they're like a team rocket of this movie. Yeah.

Apparently, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we got it. It's a guy and a girl, they're evil. They're trying to catch them all. Yeah, yeah, Tim Rocky, yeah, we got it. It's the guy and a girl, they're evil. They're all trying to catch them all. Yeah, we have them. And they have a cat character, Kit Kat. I think I'm seeing a connection to your guys. Let me get back to my, a connection board over here and draw some guys through it.

Okay, so they are incredibly evil billionaires. I think you're right, Dan, that Santa Bernard is much more stifly performative in a way that I agree Roman, I think is on purpose. Whereas Richardi Grant, you imagine he could just add live in this character for $100. Richardi Grant has a way of performing where he looks like he's shocked

that he's allowed to get to do this. He's like so excited. He's like, I can't believe it. And he's so physical. Like he jumps from like off a table and he thrusts his pelvis and stuff. He's just delightful. Like he's making.

He's like, I seem like the physical manifestation of the phrase, Shua-da-Di. Yeah. Well, he seems like he's the guy also like that. He is, it's kind of like Nicholas Cage in Kiss the Vampire in that it's like we're making this movie, it's crazy that I'm making this movie. So I'm gonna go all out all the time.

Like it's almost like he's pushing himself to have as much fun as possible because he hates the movie that he's in so much. Can you just call that movie Kiss the Vampire? A kiss of the vampire. Kiss the vampire was a booth that I had at a carnival did not go well People did not want to kiss that vampire I my mistake is instead of getting one of the sexy vampires. I got nose for ought to and people were not crazy about

Yeah, they're like come on come on or luck put on some makeup or something get that pale You know do side those ears maybe. Put some rouge on those cheeks, we're a wig. So here's something that I learned while reading about the movie efforts is that, so originally the villain in the early drafts was a guy, then they changed it to a woman, and apparently according to the thing I was reading,

they tried to get Audrey Hepburn to come out of retirement to play the villain in this movie, which would have been bonkers. It would have been incredibly bonkers. Yeah, but instead they couldn't. So Bruce Walsh was like, let's just have the man villain and the woman villain be in the same movie. Senator Benine, I feel like the fact that they wanted her plus the fact that James Cobraan

is in this movie. Maybe they were also that points to a charade influence on what they were trying to do. I could see that. I think it's a, I mean, that was also at the time when like, those are the movies that the stars of this, the people making this movie grew up on those movies. You know, so they wanted to, I should mention, we're recording this on the day that Olivia had to have

Lent has the news of her passing came around. And that was a moment for me that I was very, it really hit me hard that like that era of Hollywood is dead. Like a couple of weeks ago, I made Sammy watch the Adventures of Robin Hood, the Arrow Flynn version, which you really liked a lot. And while we're watching, I'll leave you to have one's in the movie.

And I'm like, she's still alive. Can you believe that? And she was like, that's amazing. I cannot tell him that anymore because at 104, she's dead. You know what they say? Fame, and at a bitch. And by they, I mean, AJ Benza in the old promos for each true Hollywood story. Now, guys, here's what happens.

I don't think fame is the problem rather than the inexorable progression of time. The cursor fame, she'd still be alive today if it wasn't for fame. It always gets you the end. I've read it one, five, it wasn't just for that fame that she had. Yeah, exactly.

Well, here's the thing is that she was actually on a plane flight that was supposed to crash, but she escaped and death has been trying, at Tony Todd has been trying to try her down. Ever since then, and it's been 80 years, and he finally got her. I think we're going in a less sensitive direction. So anyway, Sandra Bernhard walks in. She outbids her partner for no reason.

They waggle their tongues at each other. Instantly, I was like, I love these characters. And the guard. It's $1, which I don't think. Oh no, it's sort of I think with one million dollars I think it was a hundred and one million. Yeah, I mean you could feel safe. What I thought they're doing a price Yeah, a hundred million and one and it's like a hundred million and one and 50 cents and the auctioneers like please Can we I know we're starting at a hundred million?

So many more than the than the item was listed as. But still, it's not that caught in the weeds here. So the guard notices Eddie, but Andy McDowell trips him. The auctioneer's gaviled and explodes as he hits it on the ground, causing chaos. Eddie manages to save Andy McDowell from a falling pillar and then gets hit by a statue that swings on a wire. I guess it was suspended in the air above the room for some reason.

Probably swinging from a star. Yeah, probably. It was suspended in the air above the room for some reason. Probably swung from the star. Yeah, probably it was swinging from a star and then it made the wrong choice and became a horse. So he wakes up in an ambulance. And now that we'll get to the end of McDowell character later, what I also learned was that Isabella Rosalini was supposed to play this part, which also makes it makes a ton more sense,

seeing as she is supposed to be Italian. So he wakes up in an ambulance with the Mario Brothers mobsters. He manages to slam a whole thing full of hypodermic needles into the dumb brother's face, which for some reason causes the driver of the ambulance to lose control. I couldn't quite understand why it happened. Oh, he's grabbed his gun and started firing.

That's when he lost control. Oh, that's what it was. Eddie escapes on a gurney right onto the Brooklyn Bridge, and we lead to my, I think actually my favorite moment of the movie when a woman in a convertible is driving by him on the square Brooklyn Bridge, he just goes, hey, are you gonna die? And I don't remember if he is a quipper or not,

but I love that moment. It's just like, yes, this is a movie where the bystander is, if anything mildly entertained, this man might die next to her. Any like, somebody throws a movie where the bystander is if anything mildly entertain this man might die next her. And he like somebody throws a cigarette out there window and he catches his smokes it. And then he likes he has to throw change through the toll booth because he accidentally goes in the back all five exact things.

He somehow was a really good joke. I got to give it to her. He's on this run away. He headed toward the toll booth and he has to pick like change. of his pocket and hurl it so he doesn't get knocked off. Yeah, ruined only by the fact that there is no tool booth there. They somehow ended up on the going into the into I think the battery tunnel from the Brooklyn Bridge. But anyway, the that he just keeps quiping the whole time. Finally, his gurney stops at the exact place where group of CIA agents. That's right. David Kruso and his gang are waiting for him. They're all named after Candy

Bars. David Kruso is named Kit Kat because he's mute. Don't know how they're connected. The big guy is named Butterfingers because he's clumsy, even though he's strong. How he became a CIA agent is amazing because he's so dumb and constantly messing things up. And there's two other CIA agents also. They also seem like they really need to take a lot of time explaining that they're named after candy bars. Yes. I mean, especially considering that we all saw them with candy bars in their buckets because they're so on-brand earlier. Yeah, and this KitKat manages to have pre-printed dialogue cards he hands to people that exactly fit the situation that they're in at the moment.

It's a joke that should work, but it never, until the last one, I feel like it never quite sort of, quite works. Who walks out? That's right, it's their boss, James Coburn, who introduces himself as George Kaplan. That's a little nod for the movie fans out there. Sam's George Kaplan is Dan. He is the made up spy in North by Northwest. You got it

people think carry grand is and it's like this movie saying hey really airs that's that's kind of filmmaking and i don't remember carry grant like knocking two guards heads together making a box on okay sure whatever like when he was hanging off the off-mount rush more i don't remember him being like hey should we sing uh... is this a good time to sing me in my shadow like i don't think so how all i'll be honest uh... northway northwest with a coconut bonk better or worse

i think it's a lateral move down i gotta tell you i think it doesn't ruin what is a near perfect adventure movie but it only impress improves it you know so net but uh... so they they knock him out and then he falls into a crate of packing peanuts. He then is taken out of the crate. He wakes up in an empty house in Rome. And it's like this character is in the classic film art tradition.

It's constantly getting knocked out and waking up places. And it's almost like the movie forgot they did it already because they keep having that happen. The killer butler is there. He takes him into Mayflower's high tech limo. It's so high tech that he has like some kind of ticker tape message-mish-packs machine that he then can stuff into a shredder, and the shredder just shoots the shreds out into the streets of Rome.

It's like, where can I get that car? Guys, do they ever make that? Is it real? Roman, you strike me as a real gear head. Is that a real car? Yeah. And not as far as I know. I have no idea. But the shredding is like, is glorious. That's just the, it's perfect, super villain. You know, like, and even says, I'm the villain.

Like, it just is so great. He's so, he's so aware of what he's doing. And now, when, now, the moment they showed up in Rome, again, you're 15 years older, so you're watching this movie. Were you like, like finally a movie that speaks to me. I don't know I mean I feel like I was totally confounded by it when it happened so at this point it was I think it bludgeoned me into just like accepting what was going to happen next at this point. Okay and by this point you're like I've seen what this movie has to offer me no I don't think you have. they go to what I guess is like the Mayflower's office or conference room, but it's very clearly the lobby of a large building that they've made look like

an office or conference room, where he is meeting with his board, which includes like a kid, I think, like there's like a Wes Anderson-esque touch to who is on the at the board of this of this corporation. Senator Verhard is sitting in the middle of the table kind of barking out the lyrics who I've got the power on her walkman. We never actually hear the song, which is kind of saying it out loud. And also her dog, uh, Bunny is there, right? Who is a little dog who's always chasing after his ball ball, uh, which in a hilarious mix

up, uh, he gets what lodged under Bruce Willis' testicles while he's handcuffed to a chair or something, and he's just, the dog is just sniffing around in his crotch. It's a real Benini style. Yeah, the joke is that Bruce Willis instead of being concerned actually is enjoying it, right? Yeah, yeah, you know what it is? It's the trail, so before I had ever seen any Sasha Baron Cohen stuff, I was visiting my college girlfriend who was studying in England. And we went to see a movie and they showed the trailer for a Dolly G movie beforehand. And I was not aware of this character. I'd seen the bus ads all over London. Every bus had an ad where he was just pointing guns at the person looking.

I had no idea who this character was, didn't know. And the entirety of the trailer was him waking up thinking a woman was flating him, but it was actually his dog. And then realizing he was enjoying it and going back to sleep. And I was like, don't care for it. Not my kind of material. Thank you. So this is what that was like. It puts down the newspaper. He's reading. And then Bruce Willis then has one of my favorite lines in the movie. He goes, I guess, I guess we see who wears the penis in the family

Which is such a dumb quip that I was like, all right, I'll give you points for it. That's a dumb quip also There's There were I read I think it was a New York magazine article about the making of this movie and apparently Bruce Willis wanted to say something more along the lines of like I guess who has has the dick, we know who has the dick or something like that. And he kept doing it. And they're like, okay, um, could we try one where you say, I guess we see who wears the penis in the family? Because like, at least that's not a good joke, but it's a play on a phrase rather than like what the other thing would be. And he did it literally one time after they did like 12 takes

and they're like, use the one where he actually said the line. Because that's what's Bruce Willis for you. That's what's called a winner, which is the single perfect take that comes after 12 bad takes. Roman, I want you to know we usually don't do this much research before episodes. And I think we were intimidated that you were coming on. And so we actually wanted to know something about this movie.

The Mayflowers, oh yeah, we put real work into this, which you wouldn't know from the, when you first joined us on the Skype call, we had no idea what we were doing and we're making it up as we went along. So the Mayflowers want world domination. They threaten here. But the way world domination is based on chaos, right?

They want to throw the world into chaos because they've already made so much money. There's no challenge in that anymore. And I feel like in 1991, no villain is scarier than one that wants to upset the capitalist order. Oh yeah, well, because that was at a time when it was, it was still a time when every kid's movie was about the loss of control of a corporation

or whether a businessman was going to be able to find his soul. So people just took it for granted back then, that capitalism rocked, and you know, that capitalism rules and human empathy rules, that's just the way they felt back then. So they threat, they're like, if you don't go and steal this Da Vinci codex from the Vatican, we're going to throw your friend Tommy Danny Ayello in jail. And he's like, Danny, he would never be able to survive it. He's too old now. So Eddie goes to the Vatican, he cases the joint.

He uses a Brattie kids stuffed animal. She's literally just slamming a stuffed animal into a banister. And you'd think the Swiss guard would take her down almost instantly. Like the Vatican seems like a pretty heavily guarded place in real life. But instead, there's just three goofy guards,

just like the Auction House in America. And yes, are they eating spaghetti while they're watching the cameras? Yes, of course they're eating spaghetti because it's Rome and he can I ask you something you guys? About this young girl with the stuff down the stuff animal She I looked at actress up. She was 12 When she made this but to me she looked about 30. Did you guys have this issue at all? I didn't but you know what? Paypal back then dressed older. People like if you watch Seinfeld now the characters are

supposed to be younger than me but they dress like my grandparents and I think people back people now dress young like you can go to work as a middle-aged man, like me, let's say wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but back then, people dressed older than they were. Not as much as in the 50s when teenagers were suits, but, you know, slightly older. Well speaking of dressing older. Stu was covering.

Just go ahead, do I? No, so I was just saying, Stu was covering his face in his hands, and I'm not quite sure why he was so dismayed by my question, but it was weird to me because I was like Why is that old person Pretending like That old person like is this the producer of the movie?

Yeah, what a weird cameo What's the story? I think Stewart Stewart did some more research and knows that that girl actually had Jack's disease Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Jack's disease. Oh no. And, you know, he knows she was 12, she was physically 48. He said, I don't worry about you guys. I'm sorry, but he says, It's Rob Williams in the hit film, Jack. I apologize. So it's being a dressing older. I mean, this is where you really start to notice Bruce Willis' penchant for high-waisted pants

in this scene. Like, he has, he has a blue t-shirt tucked into. He looks like, he's dressed like a six-year-old mafia boss in this scene. And you realize, oh yeah, he always wore high-waisted pants. It's just because he had a black t-shirt on. He didn't quite notice it as much. And the wardrobe is just fantastic in this movie. In fact, so much so that it gets its own credit before the cast and crew are announced at the end of the movie. It is really glorious. That's one thing.

It's funny that you bring up the highway's of pants because I feel like that's another connection. We mentioned Birds of Prey earlier. And I was kind of thinking about Birds of Prey when I was watching this movie because Birds of Prey feels like it has a connection to that like 90s, like the litter bomb action comedy thing. And yet that movie also features

Chris Macino wearing high-waisted pants as Zaz. And I remember watching that movie and being like, could I pull those off? The answer is no. But I thought about it. And also a hawk is a bird of prey. Stuart put it all up on your connections boy. Hudson Hawk, Pokemon, birds of prey. They're all related. I'm gonna work on that. I'm gonna work on that. Stuart put it all up on your connections, boy. Hudson hawk, Pokemon, birds of prey.

They're all related. I'm gonna work on that. I guess you're still on the one. I'm gonna talk again. I mean, have you checked? Wait, have we talked to? The presence of reindeer goat cheese inside birds of prey. I have not seen it, but if you do, then it seals it.

It's all nice. Oh yeah, same. All part of the reindeer goat cheese that I can't hear. How have we talked about the fact that, along with this being written or co-written by uh... the person wrote hethers the director no we have not heard that it's also the right of my favorite movies but

he also directed stewards least favorite movie forty days and forty nights now since uh... hutch and hawk is clearly one of your favorite movie steward where does michael layman now rank in your Estimation? Oh, well, I mean, that's a huge hit. I Don't know I mean, I mean Stewart remember remember my favorite movie that taken tell him on two three was directed by Joseph Sergeant who also directed jaws for the revenge

So it's okay to like a movie by someone who made a bet. It's 40 days and 49 days, does that, that's the Josh Hartnet one. And yeah, we, and I've heard you talk about it. But is that, does that take place in San Francisco? I think it, I mean, it takes place at like a tech company, so I can only assume. Because I was living in Patro Hill in San Francisco, and I think that was the movie that they shut down my street to film.

Oh man. And then maybe even I could have put a stomp to that movie for you Stuart. I'm so sorry. I mean, I'm radicalizing Roman against that movie as well. That reminds me of the day I couldn't walk down a street in New York because they were shooting Little Nikki starring Adam Sandler as the death of the devil. Luckily, you final product made it all worth it, right? Luckily, when I finally saw the movie, I was like, that was worth inconveniencing me

a little bit. OK, so Andy McDowell was also there. She's leading a tour of the Vatican, which at this point is we got her be like, what is her job? She is like an art authenticator, and she leads towards the Vatican. Eddie uses that stuffed animal from that middle-aged little girl and sets off the security things,

which involves like these telescoping gates that close around this codex. And in the, which does some vascular scary, like they look very shaky, right? Yes, and also they look like you could just kind of snap them on. Yeah, they kind of look like the crystals in the fortress of solitude, all right?

Yeah, very snapable. Yeah. Andemic Dow will take Eddie into the Vatican's secret postal subway tunnels, which could be a real thing. I don't know, it's not that out of the question, you know? They do have a subway in Vatican City, but the one that they show is the male rail in London, actually. Oh, okay. the one that they show is the male rail in London actually.

Oh, okay. I guess they didn't get permission from the Vatican to shoot. Well, I think the one in the Vatican is actually like a more, like it's actually the world's shortest subway apparently. It's like less than a few in some way. Oh, it's a real like, less than a row. But that's not what they're showing. That's actually a passenger railway.

Like the smaller gauge male railway is a thing from London. And I think that's what they're showing. That's actually a passenger railway. Like the smaller gauge mail railway is a thing from London. And I think that's what they're showing. I think. And then seeing. They agree to have dinner that night. Anime-Tile seems to find Bruce Willis irresistible, even though he is smug and gross. And she just saw him try to rob something.

They're going to have dinner that night. And that's when we learn she's a secret agent for the Vatican. I mean, Eddie doesn't know that yet that's when we learn. She's a secret agent for the Vatican. I mean Eddie doesn't know that yet, but we know and she's a secret agent. She reports that he's planning to rob the place to hear her boss who is a cardinal. This is again one of those moments where when I found it it was supposed to be Isabella Roslina I was like, uh, this again makes so much more sense. So much better with her. Yeah. I totally see her as a secret agent. No, it's totally fine, but it totally would it would have made much more sense that way.

I mean, I'm gonna be honest, any McDowell, I think, is my third favorite performer in the movie because she really sells it, especially at the end when she is faking being out of her mind. Yeah, her mind. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Her madcap energy, like her sort of sitcom madcap energy and everything like that, is totally solid.

Like, there's nothing wrong with it. It just would have made the tone of it would have made more sense with an absurdist Isabella Rosalini performance, I think. Yeah. Yeah, other than sex lies in video tape, I'm not like a big fan of early Andy McDowell. Like I think she's become a very good sort of character actor lately.

I like to read it or not recently. But like, you know, I mean, I think she, in Groundhog Day, for me, the best you can say about the movie is like, she does not make it bad. And I didn't like her in four ways and a funeral that much. But here, like, yeah, I thought she was very funny in a lot of it.

She's good in a movie called Shadrack that came out years ago. But right after I watched this, I actually ended up watching Ready or Not. And it was like, Andy McDowell then and now. I like it when I get to see an actor at different points in their career, one after another. That's the power of movies. But now I've got to wait another 20 years until I can have that effect again when I watch Ready or Not, and then I don't like the remake of Cocoon next season.

You know? Ready or not the next generation. Yeah, right when they bring her back as a cameo. Yes, it's already as you comes back, I guess, it's like a ghost. I don't know. Anyway, Eddie tries to call Danny Ayello, but he can't get him on the phone. Why is that? Because as we see in the background behind Eddie, Danny Ayello is in Rome already, just getting into a fancy car. And the CIA is like, Eddie, you got to rob the Vatican tonight. You got to do it. There's a little bit of comedic violence. And anyway, let's get to the robbery, shall we?

Eddie males himself to the Vatican using his cat burglar tricks, which essentially is putting himself in a box and mailing it to the Vatican and getting on that train. And then just popping his hat out of the crate while he's on that train, it's a shot that I actually really love, where he's got this wild-eyed look on his face. While he's on this train,

the Italian guards again, just as bad as the American guards. And he steals the codecs with a fishing hook, as we mentioned, that would almost certainly destroy this 500-year-old manuscript to be flung through the air on a fishing hook. But maybe they had it rebounded recently, or maybe I don't know. It's, I mean, old paper is stronger than new paper.

Yeah, they laminated the whole thing. It's on real lambskin. It's not on that newsprint that they use for books now. He narrowly escapes getting caught, jumps off a double-decker bus or something and lands in the chair at the table where an endemic dial was sitting. And that was the moment in the movie where I was like, that worked for me.

Like, to have him go on this madcap, chase, and end up exactly where he was supposed to be, I'm like, all right, movie. Now I get what you're doing, and I exactly where he was supposed to be. I'm like, all right, movie. Now I get what you're doing and I'm going to force myself to be on board. The CIA agents are at another table which bothered me. Bruce Willis asked for pasta in impeccable Italian and then asked for ketchup too. I don't know.

It doesn't, I think just to piss off the waiter. It doesn't crack at all. I don't know why. Yeah. And there's no payoff. Like I was expecting him to use the pot the catch up or something It seemed like a thing that was gonna have a payoff and like they were gonna use the bottle to do something like toward the CIA agents in the next Table but I mean I wonder if there's a scene where they do that where but then they cut it feels like something that it feels like half of a joke Like legitimately, yeah, there's a number of things in the movie that do feel like half a joke

Where it's like he saved that ketchup and then use it as fake blood when they fake him killing Danny I I. L.A. later don't spoil our alert sewer not up to it but yes probably do yes isn't no it's a such a tenuous connection that you can never sort of connect it between that yeah is that actually what happens they do say it he says ketchup like ketchup, like Danny Ayala says something about the ketchup on his chest. But it's right. And there's no else they could have gotten ketchup in between. But it's not only is there nowhere else he could have gotten

ketchup, but he doesn't know at that moment that Danny Ayala is in the city. The idea that he's planning to fake someone's death at some point is like what happens in when Christopher Priest was writing the Black Panther comic book and Black Panther always had these amazing schemes that he would outskim other people. And it got to the point where it was like, okay, so do you just know everything that everyone's gonna do

15 moves ahead because there's no way you could have planned for that. What's the, which is the Bond movie with Javier Bardem? Is that Quantum of Solace? Or is it... Uh, Skyfall. Uh, no, oh, that's... In the moment, Skyfall, when they're in the sewers

and that subway train comes through and blocks James Bond and it's like, so did you, plan everything around the subway schedule? Because you're acting like that was not a lucky break. Like, you're acting like that was part of the plan, but... Mm-hmm. It's unbelievable. Oh! Oh, oh, oh, unbelievable. Jordan just put in that sound hit fleas

for the EMF's unbelievable. Yeah, we wanted to pay EMF some license, right? Yeah, exactly, so let's, I mean, just the other day, Dan, you were like, what can we do for EMF in this hard time? I know they're probably hurting. I mean, things are so unbelievable right now that nobody is listening to that song.

And they can't tour, I mean, no, it could tour right now. Because they only have the one song. What are they going to perform it once and then get off the stage, come back to the same song as Nankor and then leave. No one's paying ticket master or live nation subcharges for that. You know, it's impossible. So I guess what I'm saying is this Max Fundrive, please reach out to EMF see what you can do for them So any McDowell is giving Eddie a massage at her apartment learns that he was in prison explains His he explains his nickname which is that the winds that comes off the Hudson is called the hawk Because it's so cold, I guess and so he was given the name Hudson Hawk what cuz he's a cool customer

It's not super clear. Yeah, that's also a Chicago story That's not the Hudson isn't notorious for its coldness Well, I will say that the wind coming off the Hudson can be can be cold sometimes But you're right. It's not as cold as Chicago wins But that's what I call New York the windy city So uh, she's like oh, I like it that you were in jail She takes she goes back to me. oh, so this is before the game. They go back to her place, she's given a massage.

They start making out when she gets a signal from her boss through the form of a crucifix on her wall that lights up and then just has voices coming out of it, which is hilariously not subtle way for a secret agent to get a message, maybe while they're entertaining someone in their apartment who doesn't know that they're a secret agent. It seems like there's no way to turn it off or anything. And she sees the codex in his bag

and she's like, wait, you did rob the Vatican tonight? Don't know why she's surprised. Meanwhile, this is the weirdest joke in the movie and I could not understand it. The CIA agents are outside on a stakeout watching and one goes, hey, what's happening up there? And Butterfinger, the big dumb goes, want me to rape them?

And I was like, what? Did I hear that right? But the subtitle said it too. And it was just like another 1991 joke where I'm like, this is not a joke that would fly at any other point in history, maybe except at a time when like, I don't know why it was okay to be a douche. Like I don't understand, Dan explain it.

You love jokes about sensitive subjects. I'm sorry, I was busy looking up E-M-F on Wikipedia just to make sure that like there were a thing we could like a cause we could support and that there was no big tragedy of being sensitive to. Okay, here we go. One of their bases did pass away from drug overdrive. But when was that? But let's see here, it was during the third

or the second reunion. I mean, it boggles my mind's there. They've broken up and reunited three times, apparently. But this isn't something that happened like a couple months ago. No, no, no, no, no. Also, they did a lot of relief work for AIDS. So I think it's good for us to support EMF.

That's all. Cool, thank you, EMF. I mean, Dan, you know I wasn't really suggesting that people send EMF money. What? I hate to, I appreciate that you did our due diligence on this one, but I'm glad you realize you I'm glad you ascertain that EMF falls in that meaty middle of things that are neither too good nor too bad for us to make fun of

So, but thank you the joke that you just mentioned. There's a couple other jokes earlier in the movie that are I think and later in the movie They're kind of insensitive and I think it just it speaks to a time where the entire like editorial board was just a bunch of white guys being like Does an offend me that's fine. Yeah, yeah, there was there's a moment early in the film where it's like One of the guards is is making a joke at the expense of a Chinese person. Oh, I forgot about that Yeah, that's like it's like you're like, oh, this is bad and then they do Yeah, yeah, bad. And it's like, you're like, oh, this is bad. And then they do one of the execution music. Yeah, that was bad. Okay, come on, movie.

I should have made a note about that. That was bad. That's the, it's like I was explaining Gremlins too to Sammy the other day. And I got to the part about the Asian tours with the camera. And I was like, can I remove that from the movie? There was a time in history when it was hilarious.

It was one of those... They liked cameras. It's one of those stereotypes I've never really understood. I guess because I was a kid at the time. But I'm like, what kind of stereotype is, well, you know those types of people. They love visiting other places and bringing home memories with them. Well, that's the thing.

They love to expand their horizons by travel. And they love to remember the moment in a photo. That's hilarious. I think it was exactly that, Elliot, that was the first time kind of in history that there was an influx of more Asian tourists to America and just the simple fact that they took cameras around, which any human would do on their vacation

then became a stereotype. It's a strange, sometimes there's stereotypes that I just, I guess they're rooted in that in that one moment of history. Anyway, so I guess what I'm saying is, guys, I can no longer wholeheartedly endure as Gremlins too. I can only endorse every other thing about that movie,

except for that one character. So anyway, she, McDowell, drugs Eddie, tells the CIA that she wants to see Kaplan, because everybody is working together and knows, I don't know why she actually acts surprised that he committed the robbery, even though everyone in Rome seems to be working together and knows that Eddie is committing this robbery.

And they go, oh no, it's a, and James Coburn's like, it's a sting operation. We're gonna catch the May flowers. And then for some reason, and they goes, okay, now we've gotta get you back to Rome, but don't worry, we have a body double. And David Crusoe is wearing the same dress as a anemic dowel and a wig for no reason again This is like the first half of a joke and it's never paid off if there's no like It's like there's no reason she needs a body double no we're never seen a situation where like he could be can

Convince this on when he's hurt it doesn't make sense a anemic dowel talks for a boss and confessional And we find out she's not just a secret agent. She's a nun. That's right It convinces someone, it doesn't make sense. Aida McDowell talks for Boston Confessional, and we find out, she's not just a secret agent. She's a nun. That's right. She's a battle nun or a warrior nun, whatever that independent comic from years ago was.

It's now in Netflix TV show. Really it is? Yeah, yeah, it just launched like a week or two ago. It's crazy. Oh, I didn't know about that. That was one of those things I would see in the back of the previews catalog, and I'd be like, I don't know that I'll ever find out what this really is.

The Vatican wants to keep the gold machine from wrecking the world economy because I mean it makes sense the Vatican owns a lot of gold but if there's anything that the teachings of Jesus tell us it is that it's very important to have a functioning global economy based on precious metals and that that he's I remember it he says I think at one point to Peter, he said, you will be the rock on which my church is built and through which we will regulate capitalism to ensure that people can still make loads of money

through the accumulation of commodities. And Peter was like, let me get all this down. This is a big job. Hold on a second. So the May flowers, they're mad at Hudson Hawk. I don't remember why. They get the last gold machine bits from the Codex, right? It's like every divinity thing you steal,

they have to break to get the machine parts that are inside of it. And the Nerva kills her henchmen at kind of as a joke. Hudson Hawk steals something that I don't remember is seeing, it'll lead around, we find out what it is, I guess. And the next couple of minutes are just everyone taking turns overacting hysterically largely.

Where like Hudson Hawk gets out of his handcuffs and starts dancing with Minerva and just shouting at them while they stand there watching him. And then he stops and watches as Richard E. Grant overacts and just flops around for a while. It's the scene makes no sense. It's like the worst improv exercise I've ever seen, and they were just like, keep it in the movie, whatever.

Okay. And so the May flowers, as I say my notes, they explain their plan to make gold and undermine the world so they can dot, dot, dot, question mark. It's never really clear what the end game is. And now he's got to go rob the Louvre to get a model of DaVinci's helicopter flying machine

and he's like how much glow trot in robbery am I going to have to do that's when he's like I don't want to do this anymore and they say take it up with our partner it's Danny I yellow that's right he set Hawk up somehow not sure how he did it not sure what they needed him for it's not clear he's played no except I guess in doing the first robbery with him, it's unclear what he has to do with any of it, they fight. He seems to get shot during the fight and they're both taken away in an ambulance. Hey, guess what guys, as Stuart said, it was a fake fight. The oldest gag in the books, the old pretend to fight with your partner so that you can knock over the guy holding a gun on you.

And Eddie is like, look at this, I stole part of the gold machine and they're like, you did it. We saved the day. Well, but also, here's what I don't understand because like it was a genuine betrayal. Eddie just forgives him for it because Danny A. L.O. was like, no, no, no, this is wrong. I shouldn't have done this. Like he like changes at the. So also camera. And I don't know who's a super charming guy and I miss him every day.

Here's my guess dance. I'm just baffled by when they set up this fake death scheme. He's like, it's a rain. They were fighting and Bruce Willis is mad. Danny I.L.O. started singing like, I only have eyes for you or something and Bruce Willis sang along with him or like, fly me to the moon. That's what it would have been. Saying fly me to the moon. That's what it would've been. Saying fly me to the moon.

They join us to do it. And then Bruce goes, hey, plan 49B, and I go, yeah, 49B. And that's all they know, because they got their crook shorthand, and they know that's the fake a fight so that I can pretend to be shots that the Vatican ambulance can take me away plan. Because that's just how good they are, Dan. That's just how good. I mean, I guess I'm the idiot, but I mean, I wouldn't say it idiot. I would

say moron, but you know, that's better. Okay. You like to keep it to medical terms, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. They're celebrating at Andy MacDowell's apartment. Eddie tries to get Andy MacDowell to sleep with him, even though her bed is just behind like a thin see through scrim. So I guess like Danny Ayala would just watch the whole time Or just like stay really focused on the TV and pretend his friend was not having sex Feet away from him or maybe they're just the kinds of friends like in Wolf of Wall Street who have sex in front of each other I don't know that never gets answered because Andy that McDowell makes them sleep on the couch The next morning the CIA shows up wakes them up injects them with a poison that paralyzes them

from the next down so that they can... You would think that this scene would hamper their ability to overact, but no, no, no. You do the most neck-and-face acting, you can imagine. All of the energies, all the chi from the rest of their body is channeled up into their face.

Yeah, not since the head shaking demons from Jacob's ladder has there been such head and neck over overacting motion. You know, you know, James Cobra is there and he's like, hey, you don't have to rob the Louvre. I did I did it instead of you. We killed a bunch of guards. Here's the helicopter model breaks it open Here's the gold machine piece and it's like, hey, why did they come here to tell them this? It seems unnecessary It seems like it can only hurt their plan to get Hudson Hawk and Tommy who are about to go home to get them back mixed up in the plot Why would you do it? I don't know They just dropped by to explain to the audience. No, there won't be a third heist

We just dropped by to explain to the audience, no, there won't be a third heist to this movie. Don't worry. We got bored of the heist. We're not going to make you do that movie. Is this the scene where they introduce a weapon that's like a bazooka that fires these rockets that stick to things and have a timer on them? And I do love that they introduce this bullshit weapon. And then it shows up multiple times for the rest of the movie like it's it's very like Wolfenstein or doom or whatever well here's the question I'm just

well that's yeah that was my question is where do they get even if they held on to it where do they get the probably very unique ammo these suction cup time bomb missiles but also the timer doesn't seem to matter that much because they shoot one onto the wall and has seem to matter that much because they shoot one onto the wall and has a two minute timer. Then another one accidentally gets shot to a CA agent's far head and has a two minute timer. The far head one goes off first and then the heroes run away and then the other one I guess

goes off. Yeah, no, it goes down. Yeah, the timer is at zero and then they're like, hey, maybe we should jump out the window. Oh, bomb timers give you a little bit of leeway. Once it is clear. Oh, yeah. That's the, that's the, they call that the margin error in any explosive. Uh, the May flowers, they kidnapped, uh, Andy McDowell, they want her to decipher Da Vinci's

plans. So they can build the gold machine. That never really matters because they've already built the gold machine. Uh, and, but she pretends that she is still, uh, babbling gibberish from the drug they injected her with. This, I think, was a pretty funny bit for me, and that she thinks she's a dolphin and has to talk to other dolphins. And Animic Dallel really gives it her all. Eddie and Tony, they use that, that, that, the Zuka that shoots suction cup time bombs to storm. Castle Da Vinci, where they are.

Now, I don't believe Castle Da Vinci was ever a real place. I don't, my, my understanding was Leonardo Da Vinci was always in the employ of different kind of feudal lords and barons because he needed money because he was not part of the landed gentry. Guys, prove me wrong. Dan, I know you're a Da Vinci scholar. Tell me what I'm wrong about that. No, I don't, I don't know that, but there was a question that came up toward when we were watching the movie in Shay's McCoy here. And it was, was there a war going on at the time? I was like, Ellie would know this, because they're like, when they're saying, we need bronze for the war.

I mean, I mean, D'Vinci was constantly building, or designing military weapons, I guess. And like, there was warfare going on, but it wasn't like a, you know, it was skirmishes between different kind of like warring, like either city states or or feudal vassals and things like that. It wasn't like Italy is that war with Germany, because Italy as a nation did not exist at the time, not until like the late 19th century basically. Oh yeah, I mean, it's possible. I mean, it's also, I mean, it's true that they

did not kill that horse. I don't know if that's the reason why I don't remember but that the little less force or whatever It's called that horse he designed which was supposed to be the largest equine statue in the world It was not built until modern times so like that part of it is released in real life the model for the horse was destroyed They still had his blueprints, but they that the model is not real so Part of his gold making machine in it blueprints, but the model is not real. So, it's true because there's part of his gold making machine in it. Exactly. Yes, that's the truth of that. Well, I wanted to, yeah, I wanted to get to the bottom of the most important thing about this movie, Hudson Hawks, Accuracy to Rindeson's history. Well, as people will know when we finally release that

Badelanger episode, you love to know backstory about the worst. Tell me more, please. What I love about this movie is that the big conclusion takes place at a fucking castle. You know, as soon as that happens, I'm like, I'm in, baby. You're like, what did Charlie Bands produce this? Yes. Come on. Yeah, it's like, it's just like if looks could kill or, I don't know, other movies that I have castles that I'm like. Robinson, that's it. That's the two.

So they storm the castle while singing side by side because again the song, the timing doesn't matter. It's not like that they have an intricate plan for this other than split up and blow things up as you walk along. But they're having a ball. The May flowers kill, so Kit Kat, the David Crusoe character, I guess the joke was supposed to be that he's like a master of disguise because he's painted to look like a Roman statue with a spear for no reason.

Like, I don't know who he's fooling because everyone knows he's there. And they say, guard the, guard the, the, the, the, the nun spy. And he put to spear up to her. And they're like, actually, and they kill him. I was like what was what was the point of that whole ruse like why even bother that that first step just go ahead because the mayflowers are just killing the c.a. agents uh... meanwhile uh... there the good guys are throwing bombs everywhere uh... and eddie so this is when eddie ends up in a fight with James coburn who

it turns out he still knows kung fu from his days as like an hour man Flint, in like Flint, a secret agent. And you have this is, yeah, Stuart, describe what happens here. This is the, I think the cartooniest part of the moon. Yeah, so they're, they're doing a fight on the top of the roof of the castle. And James Coburn is doing a pretty complicated combo with you know He's got his he's got his combo links down. He understands the frame data And he manages to lock Hudson Hawk in this stun lock animation up against the wall basically Where he just keeps bending backwards and bending forwards over and over so that even after he stops his combo

He drops his combo. You're like what what a loser. Why do you drop his combo, why is he not practice those B&Bs? But he's still locked in that animation, of course, doing that makes him bend over to pick up his hat, which is fallen on the ground, and at this point we know Hudson Hawk loves his fucking cool hat. So he bends over to grab that hat, James Cover and goes for a jump, and you're like, you're gonna do a jump kick right now in this point of the match You're just leaving yourself open to a counter attack like what I'd be sure you can see where does one of those those Guile kicks so he jumps off the over what over the barber can like what's the what's that thing called he jumps all the ramparts

He jumps over the ramparts with his with his kick and then of course lands on a car, but he's fine He's fine So I thank you sir for putting that to layman's terms that we could all understand. That was incredibly helpful. There is one funny one where James Kerr Coburn's doing all these spinning high kicks and then gets dizzy and I was like that's kind of a funny joke. He would get dizzy doing that. He lands on top of a car where Danny Aiello is fighting Richard E. Grant, the car is being driven by the butler. And they, I don't remember why, for some reason, the runaway limo explodes. And anyway, you're like, okay, the movie is over, right? Good. The movie is over. They defeated the bad guys. Oh, oh, contraire, my friend. That was the end of Act 2. Because the May flowers, they capture Eddie and Anna. I don't know how they survived. It doesn't make any sense.

Eddie assembles the gold machine crystals for them. Don't know how he knows how to do that. It's something that, I guess, you were supposed to have to read a little Da Vinci codex to know how to do that. But Eddie is just a master thief who knows the lengths of all the songs. So, of course, he can reconstruct the work of a Renaissance master. The bad guys glow at Saint Bernard Heart, they both get great speeches, great little mini speeches here that I love where Richard E. Grant is like civilization, art, human achievement, those are trophies on my desk. And Saint Bernard Heart is like everyone thinks they're the center of the world. There's a traffic problem. You're like, why does this happen to me?

But for us, that's not a fantasy. For us, it is our reality. And it's the flag. I love that they're just like Marvel villains, just stating their philosophy is outright in the middle of the scene. But it turns out, uh-oh, Roman, was any playing fair when he gave them the pieces of the gold machine?

Absolutely not, because even though we have no idea how I can put this crystal together, he even knows how to put the crystal together wrong and have it stay there and be given to them to blow up the machine. Yeah, I mean, it's more likely that he just did it wrong, I guess, but the movie makes it seem like he did it on purpose. But I wonder if he was like, they're like're like hey you messed up the machine on purpose and he's like yeah That's me old Eddie Hawkins, you know The machine explodes Mayflower Minerva die in the chaos Mayflower is is electrocuted

Minerva I guess she's killed when molten gold spell molten lead spatters all over it's not super clear It's the kind of thing we're in a movie like this. I could see her coming back Just as a half-layed half-flesh creature, but it doesn't happen like a lady stone heart kind of person, you know Yeah, isn't she it made out of stone that's why it's called that like like so in the Game of Thrones books I forget which one is I think it might be music and she's too much and it turns her body into stone Yeah, in volume six a pummeling of pasta, she falls into a swamp and she's kind of half fossilized, like half petrified, and then claws her way out. Yeah.

I would describe Stuart's grin as tight when Elliot makes fun of the game of the program. Sorry about that. Sorry, I mean, yeah, yeah, sorry. No, no, the Game of Thrones is the first one of those. Game of Thrones. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. Yeah, yeah, sorry. No, no, the Game of Thrones is the first one of those Game of Thrones, a chat with checkers. Oh, sure, yeah. That's where they talk to cat named checkers. Dance with dogs.

Kick with the kangaroo. Oh, yeah. And then there's Lama Lama 99. And I think what other unfortunate events happened in the series, Stuart? Like a classy conundrum. So, anger laughing now.

I've never seen that before. And then at some point, at some point, a pigeon wants to drive a bus. Anyway, that's the series. So, they, Anna tries to shoot, she's firing guns to try to save Eddie from the butler, but she just manages to shoot Eddie in the arm and also shoot his belt buckle, which of course saves his life as mentioned earlier. Eddie somehow uses the blades coming out of Alfred's wrists to chop off Alfred's own head in a very story of Ricky type of moment.

I am the quip. He won't be going to the hat convention in July. And now I love that joke.ocque, here's why. One, it's based on nothing. And the character, I think, wears a hat once. And the specificity, Hudson Hawk loves hats, Ellie. Well, this thing, the specificity of July makes me think that this is a real event Hudson Hawk is going to

and thinks everybody else knows about. And so they'd be like, yeah, we get at the hat convention, but I wish there was a beat of anime tell me like, is there a hat convention like I understand? It's such a weird, weirdly specific off-base script. Anyway, there's only one way, oh, they also kill the nervous dog for no reason. With what like a crossbow bolt or something, I don't remember. It was a ball. Yeah, it was a ball. It knocked him out the window.

Oh, right. That's right. He shoots him with a tennis ball cannon. That's right. Out of window. And you described that with all the sympathy of being a noted animal lover. I mean, I care about all living things. I did say there was no reason to do it.

You know, but. What I like about this, I mean mean I do not advocate violence against any's form of animal or human But the dog was attacking them. Let's not say there was no reason There was a they had a motivation now they should not have killed the dog Let me be clear about that. Yeah But yeah, it's not like Hudson off in the way out was like and fucking you don't I mean I might have mentioned more if he said,

if he did that, and then just kick the dog out of the window. Okay, so there's only one way to escape this castle. Hey, guys, was there a special divinci device that we saw in the opening of the movie that we have not seen or heard about since then? I think there was, and what was it? What was it, think back, think back, think back, it was glaring in the first scene because there was no reason

for it to be there. It was one of those gliders, those gliders, right? That's right. That's right. One of those gliders, one of those batwing gliders, they manage to fly it off and it's almost okay. So in How are the Duck, there's a very long sequence where Howard and Tim Robbins are riding around in a little gyro plane.

It takes forever. Imagine the exact opposite of that. As Andy McDowell and Bruce Willis get on this glider, there is one moment or two of them being worried and then they're like, we did it and they land. And it was like, was this supposed to be funny or exciting? I don't know. It's like, and it looks terrible. So I imagine that in the edit, they were like, this looks awful.

Like let's just not have a lot of this. And also the movie should have been over 10 minutes ago when they killed the bad guys the first time. But anyway, they land in a picturesque Italian village and kiss, hey, guess who happens to be there by the logic of the movie? It's Tommy, he's there and he's alive and they joke about how ridiculous it all is. And guess what Eddie finally gets? That cappuccino, He's wanted so long. And the voiceover at the beginning of the movie,

which was not anywhere else the movie comes back, goes, and Eddie finally got his coffee, and they closed the big home, and it's the end of the movie. I do what to say. I mean, you mentioned it in passing, but I really did enjoy the jokes surrounding Danny Ile's reappearance, because he's like, oh, you should have exploded in that car.

And he's like, airbags, and like, yeah, but the fire is like, there's a sprinkler in the car, do you believe it? And they're all just like literally, you're all like, yeah, sure, why not? Yeah. They are so openly not even caring about the fact that he was just in a car explosion. Like, oh.

I think that the rest of the movie would have done better with that tone of knowing that you're in a movie. Yes, yes. But there, again, it just sort of sticks out as being so hot, you know? It's like a, it's a movie, it's kind of like an, like an urr, Austin powers in a way, where it's like, we're gonna do a throwback, it's gonna be really goofy. The characters are gonna stretch the reality of the movie to such an extent that by the end of it nobody believes in that reality but they're still having a good time but they like couldn't they

just couldn't stick the landing or the takeoff or the flight in between and the in-flight meal wasn't very good and also they ran out of soda like halfway through the flight and also when they brought you a bag of peanuts there was a hole in the bag and a spider had crawled into the bag, and you opened it up, and the guy next to you was like, oh, spider, I hardly know her, and you're like, that doesn't make sense, is it Joker? Yeah.

Like that's, I think that's a perfect lead in to final judgments about whether this was a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie you kinda like. Guys, like I said, I tried to watch us a couple times before when I was younger and just sort of like lost interest and now I don't know why because there's constantly stuff going on. I think that there's like multiple factors at play like I said I didn't have any I didn't bring any preconceived notions this time to it unlike Roman I don't have any, I didn't bring any preconceived notions this time to it. Unlike Roman, I don't find Bruce Willis' smugness more inseparable.

As I grow older, I find that I have an ironic appreciation for it as part of the persona of who Bruce Willis is now. Okay, you'll get to the Jeffries stage, eventually. Guys, I'd never seen this movie. Like Ishtar, it just lived in my mind as a movie with a bad reputation. And unlike Ishtar, which I do not like at all, by the end of it, I was like, you know what, Hudson Hawk, you're a movie I kind of like. You're not good, but I have to admit,

like the things that made this totally unswallowable for the audiences of 1991 are the exact things that are refreshing to me about it now, where it's like, whatever you can say about this movie, it was not made by a studio committee trying to be as safe as possible. Like this is a bonkers movie, and knowing that it is the, much like nothing but trouble is the

clearest mirror of the warped psyche of Dan Echroyd. Knowing that this is kind of the movie that plays in Bruce Willis' head when he thinks about making a movie that kind of adds a little bit of extra meaning to it for me. It was unfairly maligned at the time and I feel like now there are a bunch of people who claim that it's just misunderstood masterpiece, which is just kind of trailing hipster nonsense. It does exist in the middle. I think that like people, there's a weird lack of nuance to people's opinions nowadays perhaps because of the internet where they can't

justify liking something if it's not actually awesome. Like it's like no no you're right you're wrong this movie is amazing. I wouldn't say this movie is amazing but this movie is a lot more fun than I thought it would be and I kind of like this. Yeah I would say I don't, I feel like this is probably the closest, I feel like this is a solid good bad movie. There's parts of it that I like. There's parts of it that are not so good. You were going to do an Italian accent there and you didn't do it. You know, I'm trying to be better about that, you know. It's appropriate, you know.

It was a character, I'm doing a character. Yeah, I definitely have, I have a lot of affection for this movie. If this movie was a person, I would hand it my Nintendo switch and say, would you play Nintendo with me? Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

I think I'm right where you guys are. I think 30 years ago it was a movie I kind of liked. I think now I think more is a good, bad movie because my tolerance for Bruce Willis' smug face has dropped a lot since then. But it's also like, it is going for it. And you got to admire that. It was during that phase of where action movie writers

and directors kind of like last action hero and where they were bored with action movies, but the audience was not bored with action movies, yeah, so they were doing these meta commentaries on action movies, but the audience was like, I like action movies. I want our source Nicar to go back to what he was. You'd be like, wait, can I not watch Bruce Willis just be a cat burglar? Like, does it have to be like in a crazy world?

Like. And so it sort of has this interesting time capsule in that sense. But yeah, I think it's pretty enjoyable. I watched it twice in preparation for this. And that was about my level. Wow. Like, I'm not going to be seeing it again for another 30 years, but it is in that. It's really right down the middle to me, to a good bad movie, you know, and a movie I kind

of liked. Okay, well, Elliott is going to talk a little bit more about the Max Fun Drive in a moment, but to give you a Break from his voice before he starts. I'm gonna say a quick word for Squarespace Which you can use to create a beautiful website to Turn your cool idea into a site people might enjoy out there in the world blog or publish content sell products and services of all Kinds and much more. And Squarespace does this by giving you beautiful customizable templates created by world class designers with everything optimized for mobile right out of the box.

You can use it on your phone, tablet, whatever, a new way to buy domains and choose from over 200 extensions, free and secure hosting, and much more call to action. This is it guys. This is the call to action. You got to go to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code flop to say if 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain, was I not supposed to read call to action? Maybe.

Let's move on. It's on the page. Now, now, now, Romans, uh, Squarespace ads particularly are beautiful to be hold on 9% invisible. And so I just, it was very, it was very entertaining for me to watch it. It was kind of like watching like a professional NFL player watching like a Pee Wee football page. And the kids realized suddenly that there's a pee-wee football over there and just started running a little faster just at the very end.

I was just amazed that you actually do these like in line like live to tape which is like you do realize that you can record things like it's separate times and like put them in. Yeah. Never heard of it. Never heard of it. Yeah. We do things. And we went for that. We wouldn't have to have our guests just sit around for them. Yeah. No. We do things Steve Allen style. All live. I loved it. I was watching the magic unfold like that. It was really something. It was really something. Now normally I would then make up some kind of silly website that maybe Squarespace could help me with that's based somewhat on the movie. Like for instance, is my girlfriend a nun.com?

Your site to find out whether your girlfriend is secretly a nun and also a secret agent. But mostly the nun thing. But we don't have time for that because here's a website I'm going to tell you about. It's called maximum. You don't want to do a spaghetti thermos or something? We never even talked about spaghetti thermos. Okay, so here's a website called FindMeCoffee.com. Have you ever just landed in a glider in a little Italian village and you're not sure if they serve coffee there?

Just blog onto FindMeCoffee.com and it'll show you where the coffee is. But maximumfun.org slash joins the site I want want to talk about because, again, it is pledged time. We've been hearing a lot from our great listeners and how much this show means for them. I mean, a lot of tweets about it. And it's been really wonderful. And it's been really just uplifting to us to find out how people feel about the show

and how much it means to them. And especially economically uplifting, to find out how much it means to them in monetary form. So here's the ask, we're going to be asking a view. We're going to ask you to think about, hey, what can you afford in this time, as mentioned before, and also you didn't need the mention because you know it's a hard time. It's a hard time right now. It's not an easy time to be throwing money at the guys talking about Hudson Hawk and making Dan Madd on a weekly now basis. It's not an easy time to be throwing money at the guys talking about Hudson Hawk and making

Dan Madd on a weekly now basis. But we appreciate you in continuing or increasing your support. Here's- Now I'm imagining my enemies, whoever they may be on the world, secretly funding this podcast. So I can't- Yeah, eventually. Dan will literally blow his top and then we'll have our revenge.

We need your support. It helps us keep going with the podcast. It's something that helps me. I know just being personally convinced my family to let me sit in a room twice a week away from them for, no, twice a week once a week, once a week, sitting in a room away from them and take time. I should spend, you know, taking care of my family or playing with them or whatever.

You sure feel like they're like, uh, yeah, why don't you take some dad time? I mean, that's fair, that's fair. But so aside from the main reason you should become a member which is to keep all this great flop house content coming to you, uh, with our mini episodes, we're giving you, I would say twice the content, but our regular episodes are so long that it's more like 35% more content with the mini episodes. Here's the other reason you join, because you can now get not just bonus content, which is hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of shows from maximum fun shows

that you can't listen to otherwise, not just our show, although our show does have lots of bonus content, including a, some would say, prolonged role-playing adventure, starring us, run by Stewart, in which we travel to the outer bounds of space over 10 or so hours. I don't know, it's a long, it's a lot of one. But a lot of exciting stuff happens when we meet some crazy creatures. In addition to that, you can also get, that's right, the classic new one every year. Can't believe Ellie, it's fucking riding me so much

this episode. I know. You can also get, if you go to the $10 a month limit, because that's the thing. You can be a $5 a month donor or a contributor, let's say, you can be a $10 a month contributor, you can go as high as $5,000 a month and each one of those levels has its own gifts. That also includes the gifts from the previous levels, but at $10 a month, you get the pins. That's right. Everyone's favorite thing about the Max Fund Pledge Drive. It's the pins. Every show has its own pin.

You get to choose what show you want to wear the colors of on your, you know, gene jacket or maybe on your backpack so that when you go to school, everyone's like, hey, cool flopp house pin. What is it? You're just like, ah, it's rocket crocodile. Amazing that you didn't recognize the character, but you knew it was a flopp house pin, even that doesn't say flopp house on it. And they're like, hey, that's because we're max fun listeners, kind of.

Anyway, so did you get the answer for number four on the algebra homework? And you're going to be like, aren't we still going to talk about the pin? And they're like, we're done talking about the pen We got more important things to talk about do you think Shirley likes me and it's like I don't think so you're you're crazy, dude So those pins are yours at the ten dollar a month level Ever you get to choose which one there's a lot of great pins for a lot of great shows. There's suddenly Jackson Yes, there he is. There surely Jackson came to speak at their school. And the guy is convinced she has a crush on him.

And he's like, hey, I could always live in the castle. Come to the house. Speaking of castles, that's not. We've always lived in the castle. Stuart, you do the math. Yeah, put it on your board. So I'm going to board, Dan. you did the math. Yeah, put it on your board. So I'm going to board Dan. And so according to this, according to this document, and Dan, tell me if I'm wrong, any point, because

we're in week three, right? This will be really important. According to this document, this week, if all our $10 a month members have the option to purchase additional pins from the store, not just the one that you chose, and the proceeds from those additional pins go to charity. There's so many great ones. I know I'm gonna take advantage of it. I'm gonna buy a bunch of them. I want that Switchblade Sisters one,

and I want the iPoddius one. Anyway, there's a bunch of good ones. I know I'm gonna get them. I'm already a Max-1 member, but I always choose the flop house pin, because even though I think it's weird that I have to buy a pin for my own podcast, I still want to support the network. Come on, let's get shows.

So you go to maximumfund.org slash join. You sign up for the $10 a month level and you can get that pin that you want and also additional pins. Hey, you don't have to do $10 a month. But if you do, that's what you get. There's lots of other levels, there's lots of other gifts. I would advise you to, yep. – Ali, I just want to say two things,

while this is going on. Number one, there was a point where you're talking about pins where it sounded like when I accidentally hit two times speed on my podcast, when listening. You just, I don't know, it was like, I don't know. You shifted into a Micro-Machine Sky, and it was very impressed. – Oh, thanks. – Number two,

as long as we're talking about Max Fun Things that happened this week, I just want to quickly plug. If you go to the Max Fun YouTube page, I did a charity dinner for Meals on Wheels with some other Max Fun podcasters that you can see. It's streamed live, but you can always donate to Meals on and watch the YouTube dinner party back to you, Elliott and the studio. Thank you. So please, I would advise you to go to maximumfund.org slash showing now while you are thinking about it. I know that it took me weeks and weeks to remember to donate to a recent charity that I wanted to donate to. I don't need to charity regularly for this particular one I kept forgetting, don't let that happen to you.

Go to maximumfund.org slash.org now. Are you in a car driving listening to this? Pull over, pull over, get your phone out. Are you on public transportation? Even better, you don't have to pull over, just keep going. So, if you're at... This is the chill-x-five trip. If you're on a plane right now.

Erzancy, he's doing right now. Erzancy, he's doing right now. He's doing right now. Erzancy, if you're at a funeral right now, I don't know why you're listening to this at a funeral, but like you're already listening to your phone. Just take it out and make the donation. Just go if you're at a wedding right now, same thing.

You should do it now before you forget and I wanna say thank you. It means a lot to us that anyone is interested in listening to what is list of space at nonsense and that it means enough to people for them to really reach into their pockets and help us out in making us happen. This is a strange time, this show I know has provided a real outlet for me.

It seems like for a lot of our listeners, it's also provided a kind of special outlet where they can escape. The cares and woes of the world, and like the prisoners at the end of Sullivan's Travels, laugh for a few moments for returning to the drudgery and hell that is life. So please, why not help keep that brief, shining moment of pleasure in an otherwise blasted and tear-filled fail that we live in,

and just join us at maximumfund.org slash join, become a member, if you already a member, consider upgrading, and if you're not a member If you don't become a member, thank you still for listening, but Still consider becoming a member like come on. So let's do a quick little post-mortem of that little pledge break The pitches to this week have been a little more psychological than I'm comfortable with like Just like I mean whether it be like playing on people's psychological weaknesses right now, or just sort of veering into kind of

a nihilistic view of everything. Well, now you know, that would be my- This is also how my home life goes like, like, Sam will be like, I love you, daddy, and I'm like, do you love me? Cause, and then I shake a tip jar. I'm not seeing a lot in the old TJ. And then he's gotta put some bills in there, and I'm like, oh, in the old TJ. And then he's got to put some bills in there.

And I'm like, oh, you do love me. Or like he'll put some coins. And I'm like, oh, I guess Sammy doesn't love me as much as he did yesterday. But I'm not sure, Dad. Because then he's just doing a flex. And you're like, fuck you, dude. Like, I'm trying to apply my attention.

And next week for the pledge drive, we'll do reverse psychology. You won't be like, hey, it's pledge drive. We don't even want you to pledge. Don't worry, don't even do it. Don't become a member. And they'll be like, fuck you it's pledge drive. We don't even want you to pledge. Don't worry. Don't even do it. Don't become a member. And they'll be like, fuck you, go to the pass.

I'll do whatever I want. And they'll become members, right? Maybe. Okay. I don't like this new psychological warfare direction. We're going in. Put out.

So Dan, what do we do next? Oh, yeah. The next thing we do on the show is do a couple of letters from listeners. Listeners like you, if you want to write us a letter go to the website and Figure it out. I don't like saying it on the air because we get so many letters Okay, Dan if I can if I can for a moment do a post-mortem on that I feel like that was For someone who who was ready to open the door on a kinder gentler era of the flop house episode

Yeah, it seems like he really slammed that door shut in the faces of the listeners by saying and I quote hey This is how you send us a letter go to hell seems like it seems like a bit much No, I love I love that you guys care. I so there've been so many touching letters over the years I love that you guys care. I have been so many touching letters over the years. I'm just going to turn it. I apologize. No, not good. It doesn't look so good.

Oh, good. Let me just take a moment to say, hey, we're sorry from the flop house. We're sorry for Dan from the flop house. I'm sure that Stuart and I have said things today that may have caused a bit of dismay for listeners of the flop house. But even more than that, I'd just like to take this moment to chat and say, we're sorry for Dan from the flop house.

We love when you write to us, it really makes a smile. We'd run for miles and miles and miles for a letter from you, and I don't, I know Dan makes it sound like torture that you reach out to us and empty your hearts with affection and love for the flop house But Dan's just uncomfortable with feelings and emotions. It's the way he was raised in Eureka Illinois Yeah, you know what I apologize to everyone I feel like between this and Topeka I've taken a hard left turn into meanness over the last few episodes. I'm sorry.

Wow. Did you get that feedback from the over full letters bag that you have that is crushing your body? Can barely tolerate? Yeah. Okay. Well, my last name was hell. Well, that does remind me of years ago when Ringo Star released that video message where

he was like, fans, I love you, peace and love you the best best do not write me any more letters, I will not write back peace and love do not write me letters. Well, he, I mean, he, you know, set himself an unreasonable thing when he said that he would write back. He wrote back to everything for years. Yeah. I mean, that was foolish. Yeah.

Okay. My class name with held writes, peaches, has noted earlier a movie is a horror movie if a character dies Which makes me think that waking med divine is the best horror movie of all time on that note What's your favorite genre to find or cross genre movie? Well you guys I'll say there's a one of my favorite movies that I actually want to watch again soon, but I have to buy a new copy because I lent my DVD to somebody and they lost it. Is a movie called The Fall directed by Tarsam Singh that stars Lee Pace. And it's kind of hard to describe.

It's like kind of a fantasy, but it's not a fantasy movie. It's kind of adventure, but it's not kind an adventure movie and it's kind of a drama, but it's a strange movie and it's this movie where it that's set in the silent era of Hollywood and this stuntman is in a hospital because he broke his leg in a stunt trying to impress his ex-girlfriend, and he be friends this little girl and starts telling her this fantasy story and we're seeing her imagining of what he's telling her and the story is so building off of the way they feel at any given moment. And it's a movie that is very hard to classify, but I really love it. And it's one that means a lot to me. So I would say the fall, which is not my recommendation for this week, but I do recommend it. Anyway, back to you guys.

I think like that one, my, I think my favorite movie all time if I had to, had to pick one is probably draws. And I think because I think it's probably one of the best horror movies, the best buddy cop movie, the best adventure movie, the best disaster movie, it's a good family drama. I like, I like movies that actually mix it up a lot in terms of genres. So. Yeah, obviously I'd say Audition, the Tukashi Me A game movie, because the first half is like a weird romance drama, and then the second half is, I don't kind of don't know what it is for a lot of the movie it's so funny and weird and then also gets action against scary. It's great.

I'm just going to sort of make a more broad statement about I think that a lot of these Korean new wave films fall into this where like it seems like they can make genre movies there like thrillers or horror films or or or just you know kind of I don't know like science fictiony things that don't feel the need to adhere to one tone. Like I think that there's a lot of problem that American audiences often have if like tone varies wildly. But I don't know, maybe it's just because of what you said earlier that we're willing to accept different things from different cultures I don't know. But like they don't seem to reject

in South Korean films how often, you know, they'll throw a stew of like, horrifying, horror, the throwing stew in there. No, I have like horrifying events, horrifying violence, but then they'll have a very broad comedy or they'll have characters, you know, reacting to things in ways that are both emotionally honest and melodramatic simultaneously. And I find that so much more fascinating than something that feels beholden to one tone the whole way through. I'm always curious about whether those movies are successful in their home countries. That reminded me of a movie I should have used as another answer to this, which is Save the Green Planet, which is a South Korean movie that's like a thriller

and also a comedy and also like a plea for ecological conservation and it's such a strange movie and I know that that was not a success in South Korea. And I wonder if movies that come over here and get kind of cult follows here and we start to think that that's kind of like what they do over there, whether those movies are actually mainstream movies or sometimes they are some of them. Certainly, like Park Chan-Wook and Bong-Jung Ho, like the biggest names, like they are hugely successful. That's true.

But I'm always like, I have to look up like a movie like The Good, The Bad, and The Weird, like how well that did or not, because it's yeah, because that's another crazy movie. So Ike writes. President Eisenhower. How do we feel about Ike, guys? Some people like him. I feel like that. It's to put it just on a like and don't like polar access is a little bit hard when you're talking about a president who had Such a mixed bag in some ways on the one hand. He sent he sent troops to To integrate southern schools on the other hand He did it reluctantly and he was not happy that the Supreme Court forces hand. Do you judge a man by his motives or by his actions?

who is not happy that the Supreme Court forces hand. Do you judge a man by his motives or by his actions? You know what? That's beyond my pay grade. I'll just say this. As far as presidents who looked like big babies, he was one of the best. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, President Eisenhower writes,

this week I finally watched a movie that has scared me my entire life since I watched it for the first time as a kid. I'm speaking, of course, of 1979's The Muppet movie. In young might offense, it's still terrifying. However, I was able to sleep afterwards, so big improvement. I'm writing to ask whether any of you have movies that you watched as kids that you couldn't or still can't watch because they scared you so badly. Bonus points, if it's not a traditionally scary movie,

although I stand behind that animal is one of the most horrifying creatures to ever grace the screen. So Sammy, what are you with that? Thank you for your time and your podcast. I class name with you. Sammy, what are you with that, Mr. President? Although I do know he would get scared

when the giant animal comes out of the end when he eats all those grow pills. Although for me, the scariest scene in that movie is the one with male Brooks, where they they're stuffing Kermit into that device, and it's like not funny, it's just like really distressing, and male Brooks is doing that weird German accent, but he's like just looks like regular male Brooks, like that whole scene, every time I watch it, I skip that scene, I'm like, don't need it. This is too distressing for me. Well, actually, I mean, I had actually forgotten that the Muppet thing was in there when I was formulating my answer to this question because the three things that I came up with are not

actually movies, but they're TV things that I remember scaring me that weren't supposed to be scares a kid. One of them was at the beginning of them up at show when they're like Boom boom boom boom and the like biggest monsters Start walking out of their little doors toward the camera that freaks me out. I'd be freaked out I Mean I was obviously primed to be freaked out because I just watched Twin Peaks But I'd be extra freaked out by the Mark Frost production logo at the end. That was all sizzling electricity.

For a sudden loud noise afterwards. For a moment, I thought that you were primed to be freaked out by the Muppet Show because you had just walked Twin Peaks. That's why I misunderstood for a moment. Yeah. And lastly, the whole figure, I think. The thing that would terrify me the most when I was a kid was the emergency broadcast system tests. Because my brother at some point was like, oh, you know, like this is, you know, the government put in place in case like

there's a nuclear war or something like that. I'm like, what? And so every time, even though they would say it's only a test, it would freak me out. I think it's partly just like the fact that anything, anything could interrupt television. One of the most important pillars of my childhood. Well, that's something we have the audacity to break into the signal. When I was a kid, I would like, or like a teenager, you know, if I stayed up till four in the morning or something watching TV, and there was always the moment when I would go to the local PBS channels to watch the end of day where they would play. It must have been something they made in the early 80s or late 70s, where its images of Americana as there's like a midi version of the Star Spangled Banner that plays.

And I've just remember, and it's like super like 70s or 80s video where like there's a lot of blur like and burn in when it moves from image to image And then it would just end the song and immediately cut to color bars And that would be it for about two hours and I was it just frightened me so much for a similar reason And what was like oh, okay, there's there's nobody at the wheel right now like that channel just doesn't exist like anything could happen right now and we're in a no man's and also it meant like well I've stayed up so late that I'm no longer tired and we'll get no sleep tonight,

which was the other scary thing. So I think if I watched that on my own now, I'd get that feeling of like the fright of, well, what am I gonna do for the rest of the night till the sun comes up? What do you guys think? I would say my scariest one is, I know this is a secret in this house,

but is Gremlins. I saw Gremlins in the theater. I thought it was the scariest movie I had ever seen. I got none of the humor. I just got the gremness of it and the grossness of it. And I've never seen it again. It lives in my mind as the scariest movie that exists. It's a little legitimately scary movie.

Like it's, I always have to remind myself, like, oh yeah, like the Gremlins kill people. And even when you see the Gremlins killed on screen, and like, it's really gross. But then you see that part, there's that part where the Gremlins are hanging out at the bar, and they're just having a blast, you know, mutant madness. It's great.

I just never found the humor, and like, I was too young to sort of get the humor of it, and the mad cappness of it, And I just remember her dad dying in the chimney trying to be Santa Claus. And then the grossness of the different gremlins that when they when they are turned nasty and stuff. And I've never seen gremlins too. I've never seen any of the other ones like my kids are 13 now. and we've talked about different They used to really be pushing horror movies and horror, you know, the more and more extreme They really wanted to try them out and I drove the line of grimmons Dad can dad can we watch gremlins know we're watching anthropologists and that's what we're watching this though

That dad dunges Phoebe Kate's dad dying monologue scene, disturbed me so much as a kid. It was like such an interesting process growing up and seeing Grimmons over and over again. And like, slowly getting that the joke of the scene is that there is no joke to it, that they're like in the middle of it, just telling this very grim sad story. I mean, there is a little bit of a joke in the idea that her dad thought this would be a great idea. Yeah. Like, it's a terrible idea.

It's this horrible like, urban legend horror tale, almost, but it's just the fact that it's played basically for this miserable thing in the middle of a horror comedy is funny in and of itself yeah i was a pretty weird kid i remember being really uh... scared when i saw a clip of the movie the shining

yeah well what you have you're the loud there you're the loud there's a uh... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, There's an episode of, I think it was the Hogan family that opens like it's a Halloween episode and it opens with the characters as zombies. That was pretty scary. I remember also now that I think about it being genuinely scared by the Cryptkeeper, even though now I look at him as like silly and adorable. Oh, because when you're a kid, I know when I was a kid, I thought he was a real guy. Like I didn't necessarily, I didn't think he was a real zombie. I thought he was like a, I thought he was a real person who

they put makeup on his face. I couldn't quite figure out whether he was a puppet or not. And that really framed me. Yeah, of course, now I love him. Now he's a great guy. And now we're best buds, me and Krypti. But kids are scared of stuff. Large margis, the scariest thing in the world. You're a kid though. And that's an adult I watched. And I was like, this could be on P.B.'s playhouse. Like it's so easy.

And I would know it was happening. That's one of those things where as a kid you watch it again. And you're like, I know this is going to happen. And I know it's going to be scary. And the anticipation is so frightening. Yeah, you work yourself up. You start to vomit. It's horrible. You're just peeing all over yourself up. You start to vomit. It's horrible

You're just peeing all over yourself pooping all over yourself and your mom is like you're not watching this movie again I will not allow it this happens every time and you're like, but mom, but mommy's got to get his bike back Yeah, I got I got to see that one moment where a geedra shows it. Yeah Okay, so let's Move on into the final segment of the show, which is recommendations and we'll do it quick because we've wasted so much of Podcasting legend Roman Marxist time. Yeah, I apologize Roman. You were like you're like no problem in and out I'm sure they should they taped this show in a professional way not all in a run for two hours No, my pleasure. You should have warned you. So I want to recommend Relic, which is new to video on demand as so many things are these

days, starring Emily Mortimer. You mean the Relic? No, I mean Relic, the new 2020 film. No. I think you're talking about screamers. Now, it is a New Zealand Canada co-production with a English lead actor. And it is about a grandmother, well, the main character's mother,

the secondary, the daughter's grandmother, three generations, let's just say that. The grandmother is a- This is the quick one. ... She is deteriorating in health. They go out to her house to take care of her, to look for like she's disappeared at the beginning of the movie.

And it is a movie that is a horror film based on sort of the metaphor of the horror of seeing your parent deteriorate in that way. And I think at first when I was watching it, I'm like, oh, this is another one of these elevated horror movies that over-realized maybe on a lack of incident and building dread and also maybe suffers from being a little close to hereditary and that it's, you know, the sort of generational horror. But then as it went on, I realized that it was like its own great thing. The third act does some really scary stuff with the sort of the geography of the house that's fun. And then toward the end of the movie, it just sort

of pushes the metaphor so far that like the movie kind of becomes poetic and your emotion shift in a way that I've never seen a horror movie pull off. So it's very interesting, relic. I'll go next real quick. I'm going to recommend a movie that I had mentioned on a previous mini as one that I was kind of going back and forth on recommending. And that's 1972 Western called Book in the Preacher, starring Sidney Pau diei and Harry Belafonte. And it's the first movie that Sidney Pau diei directed, and taking over the direction after being dissatisfied

with the work of Joseph Sargent, director of my favorite movie, The Taking Palemont 2.3. And of course, Charles for The Revenge. But anyway, and it's a Western where there's a number of former slaves, former enslaved people are moving west to try to escape from becoming enforced kind of tenant farmers. And these militias from the south are trying to forcibly push them back,

trying to kind of scare and bully them into coming back and working as tenant farmers. And they hire Senni P die as a character as a guide to help them through the West to get to where they'll be safe. And Harry Balfante is kind of like a con man preacher who teams up with them and decides to help them at a certain point. And it was really interesting to see a Western movie

that kind of treated white people, black people, and also Native Americans. And it commits the crime of having Native Americans played by non-Native actors, you know, but they do a good job of bringing dignity to those roles. portraying them is kind of like all different groups that are at odds with each other, but are not in homogeneous blocks, and are also not. There's a thing you see a lot in certain types of westerns, where the hero runs into a bunch of Native Americans and their buddies, and it's like, well you know this guy is a

good guy because the Native characters all love it, like in Maverick, that happens basically. And in this one, there's this relationship between Cindy Pauwri's characters and the natives, where it's like they know each other, they're aware of each other, but they're still in this kind of tentative tension, because these are groups of people who, even though they're starting to more and more exist in the same space, they have more complicated relationships than a movie would usually portray, and they kind of all want different things from this world that they're in. But anyway, it's a, there are a couple really good action scenes in it, and it doesn't quite all the way come together, although Harry Belfonte is very funny in it and a lot of times, and the soundtrack, which is by the jazz musician Benny Carter, is fantastic, and uses like a Jews harp in the best way that I've heard it outside of a Marcona score. And so it's a, it's a kind of interesting western that isn't totally on point in terms of pulling everything together at the end, but I think it's worth watching. And it's called Buck and the Preacher.

Who's up next? I can go. I am going to recommend a movie that has gotten quite a bit of good press, but I want to talk about it anyway. It's called Portrait of a Lady on Fire. It is a- Is playing at my house. That's what you said it was playing lately.

That's what you said it was just a movie, far. Yeah, it's a French movie and it is a period piece about a doomed romance filled with subtle longing and it's I remember when I first went into it I was expecting it to be fairly dry but it really isn't. It manages to balance the tone of that kind of a doomed romance with like a feeling of like teenagers left alone in a house while the parents are out of town like a Don't Tell Mom the babysitter's dead vibe and I think it's really fun. There's a lot of really great little incidents.

The characters are fun and it has probably, it has like, it has such a great set and I think it's just awesome. It's great. I wash it a bunch of times. I think it was on Hulu just like just like don't tell mom the baby said it has a great And like don't tell mom the baby said you get you get like the proof of title in the movie like you're not They don't tease you with anything you get it. You see that portrait. Yeah, and the mom they never the mom never finds out that the babysitter died Right, well, I mean the babys sir dies in the first like five minutes of that movie they don't fuck around and don't tell mom the baby sir instead or and i mean to the lady on fire what they don't tell the mom they never tell the mom

right yeah well i mean does she just like i feel like maybe she discovers like right at the very end of the year she Yeah, she finds a decomposing hand, and she's like, oh, wow. Yeah, when she's digging, when she's digging a hole to bury the treasure that she was off in the other movie that's happening in the fringes of Don't Come On, maybe you just say. Yeah, she was over in Goonies.

So I was trying to think of another, like, a light crime comedy that's more successful than Hudson Hawk and And this is actually one of my favorite movies is called Quick Change. It's I think it genuinely funny You know heist a movie with Bill Murray that he actually co-directed And it's I think it's really underrated. I think it's one of Bill Murray's best movies and I know I think it's really underrated. I think it's one of Bill Murray's best movies. And I know Jesse Thorne and I have bonded over this movie in particular because I wouldn't be surprised. Like he's probably gonna tell us about the baseball.

You scooped him on this one. The other benefit of this is I think the scoop Jesse Thorne, my nemesis, and tell you just how great quick change is because it's like I watched it with my son, one of my sons, a few weeks ago, and he totally got it. He was into it and it was, it was a movie I had on video cassette and I watched it many, many times growing up. But for some reason, I can't remember specific incidents just like the feeling, like I remember at the end where they're like walking down that street. It's like they're like last chance to get away I don't know it's great uh...

uh... i'm gonna say last word about the max fun drive in a moment but i just want to say so at the end of don't tell mom the baby says dead and this is uh... this is worth the uh... uh... the mom asks where uh... the babysitter is and as the credits roll I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We don't know mom the baby said the gravestone says that yeah, the gravestone said I don't know did the kids buy a tombstone or Also No, no, not a tombstone pizza store. Oh boy Also Wikipedia says that there's two morticians at the gravestone. I doubt that that's actually who's there Maybe maybe the morticians like to stop by the cemetery to make sure they're taking good care of their work. Let's make sure this was buried the right way.

We put a lot of work into stuffing this old lady full of chemicals. Just want to make sure that this, and they leave a rock on the stone. Just let people know that they're there. Yeah. OK, guys, well, it's been a long day, so let's get to the end.

Guys, here's the lesson that we learned, is I need to edit my notes ahead of time. Yeah, I do want to say one more word in support of the max fund drive. If you can go to maximumfun.org slash join, if you haven't had a chance to become a member yet, or upgrade your membership, that is where you can go to maximumfun.org slash join if you haven't had a chance to become a member yet or upgrade your membership That is where you can go. I just want to say one last word which is that I don't love Asking for money even when we're not in the middle of several world crises

So you know, it's a difficult thing. I I also like stability and I chose a job comedy writing that I'm sure I'm going to age out of very soon. So I've made a lot of bad choices considering that we are listeners supported, but that is the point. We are listeners supported. As much as I may dislike coming to you hat in hand, we have to do it. And it's ultimately a good thing because, as we've said before, being funded by people like you means that we can put on this show, which no one normally would pay for.

Let's be honest, guys. Wow. But you like it. You like it. So you get the chance to keep entertainment that may not exist otherwise going. And for that, we are very grateful. Thank you if you're a person who donates, if you're not, if you don't have the means, believe

me, we understand. We just thank you for listening as well. Spread the word about the show, spread the word about the drive. Thank you again so much for those who have given or planned to give to keep the show going and just thanks. That's the main message we wanted to say here at the end and thank you to Roman Mars for coming and being a guest on this bumpy ride much like the movie Hudson Hawk. Roman is there anything that you would like to tell us about

or a plug before you go? Oh, sure. So I do a show called 99% Invisible. It's about architecture and design, but really it's kind of about everything in the built world and how it sort of what it speaks to us is what we, what it's important to us as humans. And actually we have our first book coming out on October 6th,

October 6th, it's co-authored by Kurt Colestead, who works on the staff as digital director, and it's called the 99 present invisible city. And wow, we hope people can buy it and enjoy that. I'm intrigued. I love that stuff. Okay, well. I'm going to buy that book.

You know what? I'm going to buy that book. So listeners, if you want to be like me and own at least one book that I should also buy it too. And if you want to be like me and I've been regular donor to Maximum Fund for over a decade, I think you should go to Maximumfund.org slash join because I think that putting your you know future and in the hands of the listeners of Max Fun is a great choice. I think it's a very important choice, Dan.

I think I'm proud of you for doing it because I think that these people will catch you. I think they will hold you and take care of you and let you be who you are and let you make the things you never want. That's what they want to do right now. That's what they want I've ever wanted to do right now. That's what they that's what they want to do right now And that they're gonna come they're gonna join me in this effort by going to maximum fund org Men who are really who who who put so much I'll be like a supervillain like one of those supervillains that just like knows your psychological

like one of those super villains that just like knows your psychological pro-pollumia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It just, you know, uses it against you. That's amazing. But I think it's a beautiful system and a great choice and it's nothing to be embarrassed about, it's nothing to apologize for. This is really, really like the greatest thing that we want is for also all to take care of each other and the way that we can.

And this is what is sort so beautiful about pledge drives is because they are about us giving what we can, whatever we can, create something greater together. So go to MaximumFun.org slash join. To join me, join me, because not just them, like what I need is not just, I need not all of them supported. You're part of the team that I'm part of because I'm one of these people that gives money to them. So it only works if we all join in together

by going to Maximfund.org. I feel like, I still like Dan, when he's sitting around the Jedi master over here, right? Yeah, yeah. It's like we're all, it's like we were all auditioning to be dancers in a show. And then Roman was like, okay, well, let me show you how that steps supposed to be done

and then just like pull it off so beautifully while reading a newspaper and it's like, how did? Impossible. Yeah, thank you so much for coming on the show and doing our job. But now we need to say goodbye. So I can get out of this hot room and Roman can do important things and I don't know you guys can go do whatever the whatever the ship is that you don't have to save my business yeah i'm gonna go do that all okay uh... try try and save my family like the titular and i don't know which one of the you say that oh wow wow he's just so in so hypnotized by roman he doesn't know what's going on

anymore uh... well that uh... before we go i just like to thank everybody for Oh wow, wow, he's just so hypnotized by Roman, he doesn't know what's going on anymore. Well, Dan, before we go, I just like to thank everybody for listening in and let them and say, hey, if you have a chance to tweet or Instagram or whatever about us, go ahead and do so. And I also want to give a special thanks to our editor, Jordan Cowling, who has her work cut out for her with this very long episode.

Hi, everyone. Hi. Roman, your job is just to say four when the timer is. Okay. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Four. What the... why are you... I got distracted by something. You're not wanting what's me to do to goddamn rounds. We never do them. Immediately derail it. We never do them. I said I would do it.

I said I would do it long time. I didn't believe you. I didn't believe you. Maximumfun.org Comedy and Culture Artist-owned Audience supported fun.org.

Comedy and culture. Artists-owned, audience supported.