The Flop House - Ep. #319 - Alita Battle Angel LIVE

Episode Date: August 8, 2020

What's this? An off-week FULL EPISODE? That's right -- as a li'l thank you for all of the support during the Max Fun Drive, we've reached into the vault and let loose this live episode, taped at Boston's CitySpace, on Alita: Battle Angel, so you can FINALLY learn the origin of Elliott's conviction that Dan loves backstory.ALSO! Two Flop House livestream events to put on your calendar for next week!On Thursday, August 13, at 5:30 pm PT / 8:30 pm ET, we'll be joining our Blank Check Podcast pal, Mr. Griffin Newman, to provide LIVE COMMENTARY for XXX: The Return of Xander Cage. Tickets can be acquired HERE!AND! On Friday, August 15, at 6 pm PT / 9 pm ET, we'll be honoring the promise from our charity livestream and doing a table read of the screenplay for the J-Lo thriller The Boy Next Door, featuring Dan, Stu, and Elliott, along with SPECIAL GUESTS Hallie Haglund, Natalie Walker, Jenny Jaffe, and X Mayo. You can go to the Flop House YouTube page to check it out for free!!!Wikipedia synopsis of Alita: Battle Angel

Hey everyone, you know, on one of these off weeks, we'd normally deliver you one of our patented very long minis, a patented pipe and hot piece of podcast. Mm-hmm, yep, that's a lot of peas in there. I call them maxi minis, you know. Pickled piece of podcast, but now we're going to give you a really pickled piece of podcast because it's from long ago and we've been selling it, sell it, hype it up, make it sound desirable, all the moldy. We brined it for your pleasure.

Hey, I mean, like, you don't like pickles, Elliot, this is something we should dive into. I do like pickles, but how many products, when when they're being hyped up are described as pickled? Well pickles is the number one like if we were doing family feud, you know It would be show me pickles and that would be number one on the board of but it's it's rare that when a movie comes out or a song They're like hey get ready for this old thing from the vaults. It's been pickled So we packed this, we packed this in salt so it would last the winter and now we're going to dump it on your plate. Okay, well the point is this is coming right after the maximum fun drive has technically

ended. The technical end of the drive was one day prior to the release of this, but you know we are a bunch of rule breakers and we think this basically counts as part of the drive. So if you want to go to maximum fine, and also not just basically counts, but there is a grace period after the official end of the drive. We should say you can still go to maximumfund.org slash join and you will be coming a new or upgrading member. It's not just you don't have to petition them that the flop has said it's okay i can it'll happen yeah i mean allie it there there you know you could become a member of max on plan at any time during the year normally when there there's a great periods because we're trying to reach

sort of a target but there is a target this year now the pandemic and other associated uh... disruptions in our lives so wait a minute i i i no, I have a target. So, and we're very close to reaching it. That target, your heart. And it's a heart target. It is a very hard target, because you've got a very hard heart.

He's a hard-hearted man. Yeah, so you've got to take a chance. Bootro, undance hard targets. That's a hard point is, guys. That's a lot of ways. Rest in peace, Wolfford Brimley. What a man. What a man. And he'll be a hard target.

Hard target star. What a mustache. Wilford Brimley. A man a mustache Oats Panama. The great thing about that is it's not a palindrome. Not at all. Nope. It's not. I mean, everybody's made the joke, but when I found out that Wilford Brimley passed away, obviously I was sad

And then I saw that he passed away at the age of 85 and I'm like What Wasn't he 85 my whole life? Yeah, well he was like 49 or 50 when cocoon was No, no canoon like you're in the same first timeoes and we'll be about to imagine canoe that makes you young so did uh... did somebody did somebody did somebody like fashion wolf or brimley out of clay and as paul rod

normally would have gotten older he just stayed the same age but then wolf or brimley got older you're right paul will for brimley and paul rod are in a Doreen Gray type situation, yes, where all of Paul Rudd's age and sins were heaped on to Wilford Brimley, yeah. Guys, guys, I forgot about the sins part. That's the crazy part of that. It's also the sins. It's not just the age.

It's other you have to imagine Doreen Gray was like hurling himself off buildings to break his portrait's bones and then he just walk away and go see around portrait he calls portrait portrait. Guys, what what normally happens to many is what is happening to this introduction to this live episode. The point of what we're trying to say is as a thank you to all who gave to Max Fundrive supporting us and as a final encouragement to those who may be still on the fence, we are taking this opportunity to release one of our live shows, one of the best of our live shows, I think the shows we did in Boston were very good and we've been hanging on to these for God knows what reason.

But now we are releasing them into the wild. If they come back to us, they love us. And this one is the Alita Battle Angel episode where we learn of my purported love for backstory, which is not actually a thing that exists, but has been referenced several times on the show despite this episode not having come out before now. actually a thing that exists but has been referenced several times on the show despite this episode not having come out before now. Let's let the listeners make that judgment when they listen to the tapes. Yeah, I'm looking forward to Dan really listen to this one and being like,

oh my god, they've been right all along. Time to make amends to my two friends, Stuart and Elliott who I have slandered all this time. So, if you wouldn't mind while listening to this episode, amends to my two friends, steward and Elliott who I have slandered all this time. So if you wouldn't mind while listening to this episode, why don't you become a Battle Angel of Your Own and go to Maximumfund.org slash join the Battle of course being the Battle against podcasters, not making enough to keep their podcasts going, and the Angel being you, an Angel Investor who has decided to give us upwards of a hundred thousand dollars who knows per month and from you

So you can there's lots of there's lots of good levels that you can donate at from as little as five dollars a month to as much as I mean if you're gonna offer us a hundred thousand dollars a month. We're not gonna turn it down I the prizes stop at a certain level, but you can keep going if you want. But we really appreciate it. We are, as always, very humbled that so many of our listeners have decided to show us their appreciation. This has been a really great max fun drive, and we know again, as we've said many times, this is a hard time for everybody, a hard target time, not just for Wilbur Brimley's family, but for all of us. And we appreciate every ounce of support we've gotten from you guys and gals and also non-binary gender identifying people with listeners.

You've been really, really wonderful to us and we hope you enjoy this episode for now. On this episode we discuss, Alita, Battle Angel, Live in Boston, Massachusetts! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Too much, we were in danger of breaking the fire code, but you guys were doing great. I have to admit, I'm guilty of egging them on a little bit. You said that as if it was a pun or something.

I don't know what. Boston is famous for its eggs. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCool. I'm Stuart Wellington. Over here, Elliot Kellen at the end of the table. What What table is this Dan? Where are we? What's going on? What's happening? I mean, we are in Boston as Stuart said, literally moments before, whether in person or on the podcast you would have heard.

I was just, that's for people who, like, they started the podcast playing and then they were like, I gotta use the bathroom. I'll just let it play and I'll miss the theme song. And they didn't hear the part where he said in Boston. Okay. Or people who start the and then they were like, I gotta use the bathroom. I'll just let it play, and I'll miss the theme song, and they didn't hear the part where he said in Boston. Or people who start the podcast, they're like, I want the movie that they watch to be a surprise, so they put fingers in their ears, and they go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it doesn't, that's the exact sound that counteracts the sounds of our voice. It doesn't. Yeah, it's not. It's not. We had a study done, we had a study done. MIT, a regional place. Dan, what are we doing in this podcast?

Do I normally pander about MIT? Where's this? Something we don't usually do. I don't know about your personal life. But on the show, I've never heard you pander about MIT. We are in Boston. We are doing a live show where we talk about a bad movie that we watched, or maybe not so bad.

We'll see at the end of the night. We watched Alita Battle Angel. That's right, we're gonna be here all night everybody till we hash out whether this is a good movie or not. Lock the doors. I think that's the most important thing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, down, down, down, down, down. Something about coffee and crap in my pants, I don't know. Yeah, stamps.com. Yeah.

Cats. Who are your guys? Who are you from? Who are you guys? What'd your dad do for a living? What, what, what is it, Lauren, like me? Just kidding, I love a show. Stewart, wow.

Stewart, now you took notes on it. Oh, man, I did. So the movie begins with a logo, a production company logo. Yeah. We're digging in. Now you're waiting for it. No one loves production. Is that company logo is more than Stuart Wellington? Is that, it looks like the 20th century Fox logo, but it's slightly different. That's right because it's 26th century Fox. This isn't your daddy's Fox logo. No, it's your great, great, great, great, great grandson or daddy's Fox logo. Nope, it's your great, great, great, great, great,

great grandson or daughter's Fox logo. Oh, unless your daddy, unless your daddy is Jean's camera, in which case it would be. Okay, so. Okay, so. Daddy was Kang the Conqueror, and he brought it back from the future to you. Uh-huh.

But there's only one guy whose daddy is Kang the Conqueror, and that's that weirdo who, who messed with Captain Marvel. I don't like him. Let's not even talk about him anymore. I didn't know why he brought him up in the first place. The year is 2,563 years of our Lord. It is 300 years. Is it a move that's an angel?

Okay, yeah, sure. It is 300 years after the fall. Of course not after the fall of Lucifer, which happened much more this. or after the movie The Fall. Ellie, it's one of my favorites. Nor is this a legend of the fall, as I think we've already covered. It might be 300 years after the last ever fall. Climate change, everybody, am I right?

Oh, yeah. Days get shorter. Like, you did that as if I, by speaking the idea, I've made it appear. Uh-huh. So we... We know it with it, everybody. So we open on a giant scrap heap that is underneath a floating city

and we see a scientist digging through that scrap and he finds a, like, the half of a lady robot, a young woman robot? Like a head and neck area of the... Uh-huh. And he's like, it's still alive. And he hoist it up in the air, and it's kind of like our title card, right?

Even though we don't have a title card, this is like the opening shot. Yeah, and who's the scientist? The scientist is a fellow named Edo. He's played, of course, by Christophe Waltz, who is a fine actor. He's fine. Whoa!

Whoa! He's not here, right? Stuart had a lot of anti-Christophe Waltz words while we were watching it. He's fine! It's not here, right? Stuart had a lot of anti-Christoph Waltz words while we were watching it. He's fine. Like, it's a weird lad. I said he's fine. Why are you so, like,

like, pugilist, like, like, belligerent with the audience about Christoph Waltz? Are you afraid they're gonna rush the thing? I'm being belligerent with you. Okay. You're texting him. Yeah. Uh,

so he takes this living robot back to his house, and he and his assistant build a body for this robot. She wakes up and checks all of her. The natural thing you do when you find a head. She wakes up in the morning. You wake up in the morning. You wake up in the morning. You wake up in the morning.

You wake up in the morning. You wake up in the morning. You wake up in the morning. You wake up in the morning. You wake up in the morning. You wake up in the morning. You wake up? Now, you've opened up an interesting question. Now, I have to put myself in the situation of robotics scientists in the future. OK, and Christophe Faltz, I feel like you can play that role. Yeah, OK, I'm thinking I want a very deserved Academy Award,

and then not quite as deserved other Academy Award for playing kind of the same character. He's fine. He's great. Then OK, I'm digging through a trash heap. It's the future. It's like Wally, but live action, floating city. You don't see that every day except you do these days, because it's the future.

And I found this thing, this is weird. It's like a person's head. I better call the police. No, wait. It's got wires coming out of it. It's a robot's head. If only a new someone knew how to build robots. So wait a minute. I know how to build robots. Yeah, I think I would take it home. All right, well, I guess I've been schooled.

So this young robot wakes up in a little kid's room and starts examining her body. She rushes downstairs. She's forced bed. And orange, what? Lips of her blankets as if to check that she has all the parts or maybe just her legs, it was weird. It was a little weird.

Hey, I mean, I'm not a robot. So she talks with Edo and Edo starts to fill in some of the blanks. It is just what a robot would say though. It is, except the robot would have been like, I'm not a robot, beep boop. I mean, I mean, maybe some oil dudes.

Maybe he's saving the beep boop for later. Yeah. So Edo begins to fill in the blanks for her. And he also, she doesn't remember anything. She doesn't even have a name. Of course, he jumps at that opportunity and names her Alita. And we're like, whoa, did you already have that to sit in there in the front of your memory band? And at this point, it's clarified that she has a human brain,

right, which I guess was somehow preserved in the junk heap that she was in. In her magic... And let's talk a little bit about this robot. Up, Stuart just stood up. He's gonna school this audience. Now, I don't know on what, actually. I don't wanna spend too much time

talking about the design of this robot. It is clearly digitally enhanced. She has very accentuated features. You might call her a braddle angel. I don't know. You're welcome. Scattered applause. So she's striking.

I might that you're saying that she has large eyes in her head. Yeah. Her eyes are digitally larger than a person's eyes would be. Yeah, and which is at first unnerving, but you get used to it. It's like if you met a Disney princess on the street, at first you'd be like, oh, your eyes take up two thirds of your head, but over time as you got to know her, maybe fall in love with her, you'd come to not just get used to and tolerate that,

but come to love it as something that's special to her, and only her in her race, Disney princesses. And eventually you'd be like, you know what, I just hope that my children get this when something that's special to her and only her in her race, Disney Princesses. And eventually you'd be like, you know what? I just hope that my children get this when they're born. And when they do, they'll have one regular eye and one giant Disney Princess eye. And you're like, no, it's the worst of all possible combinations. Why do you do this to us, Greta Mendel? That's one for the college students in the audience. Uh, again, we don't have much time.

Okay, so she's named Alita. She wanders around with Edo. As he introduces her to this place, Iron City, part of the scrap heap that is underneath a floating city called Zalum, which is kind of like this beautiful paradise in the clouds that they all wish they could be part of. But instead, they live in Iron City, which is actually pretty nice. Iron City is supposed to be like kind of this like junkyard slum, but to be honest, it's like...

It's pretty, it's as bright as a phanta commercial. It's like a part of Brooklyn that is most of the way gentrified, but not totally gentrified. And so the background in the background, you have a few people who have robot parts and they look really future. Just like Brooklyn. Yeah, but then you've got mostly people

with like t-shirts and jeans who are just kicking it, walking around. They're a great sidewalk cafes. I'm sure there's a used bookstore. Oh, I'm sure, yeah. There's a lot of crowd shots in this movie where you'll see it'll be just like a guy in a regular jersey, just like hanging out watching motorball,

but we'll get to that. So, he gives her quite an info dump. He explains all about this situation. He introduces her to a young handsome scamp named Hugo, who's like your regular urchin, right? A regular urchin boy. Yeah, he's a... A rive say...

A regular urchin. Yeah, lives in the sea, spiny, his eggs are delicious. A lot of him, mommy. Drives a motorized unicycle, just like Brooklyn. To be honest. Or he wears a top hat and then encourages you to pick pockets. That's the other... That's the other kind of urchin.

Basic urchin. Yeah, basic urchin. He's real basic bitch urchin. Yeah. He's like a handsome little bit bad boy who sells robot parts and rides that motorized unicycle, yeah. Yeah, and we're also introduced that the only police force in this town

are these giant robot things called centurions. We're introduced to a character named Kiron, I believe, who is a medical professional who is Edo's ex-wife, and they talk a little bit about how they lost a child, they lost a daughter together. What was, wait, what was her name? Wait a minute. Her name was also Alida.

What a coincidence. What a strain. It's a warning. It must be a pretty common name. It's not at all weird to name a robot after you're, I don't know. And what? I don't know about how people deal with trauma.

And what other surprisingly common profession do we learn about? We learn about the hunter warriors. Is that what you're talking about? Yes, I believe so. So instead, in lieu of a police force, if people commit crimes of, I guess, a pretty extreme nature, they get a little wanted poster and then people can take out a contract to go and murder them,

and chop off their head and make money. So like the bounty, the bounty is only collectible with death, and you take your head to a little talking like Soda Can robot, who is like, why are you here? Like it's the most wizard of Oz moments in the whole movie, and then you drop the head in a slot, and they're like, here are your credits.

It's pretty much it. Do you think people ever, like, you know, like how in like old cartoons, they have like a little slug that they put it on, like on string? Yeah, yeah. And like get sodas that way. Like people have like a head on string

that they pull the head back out afterwards. Like people been getting credits on one head for you. Have you ever tried that trick? Me? Yeah. I mean, I'm not from the 20s, no, but. Okay. Or, I mean, with a head.

I mean, with a head. if you know what I mean. Yes. Yes, I have. I have. You put a head on a string. Just trying to get you to Yes Am this bit. Here's the thing you need to know about Dan. He's the only one of the three of us

was at improv training, I think. And yet he never Yes Ams. Because, frankly, the things you say are absurd. You're right. I'm sick. I would say yes to the things you say. You're right. I'm sick. Would say yes to the things that say. You're right. I apologize.

So, uh, so Edo is talking to Kyron who is played by, who is his ex-wife, and she's played by Jennifer Connelly, and she's great. And she is apparently trying to buy her way into Zalum, which is Edo doesn't believe is possible. And she's trying to buy her way through the help of a fellow named Vector, who runs motorball. There's a lot of information here. I can't wait through it all. We also learn of a dude named Zapan,

and we learn about that there's no guns. Sounds kind of nice, actually. And more about the Hunter Warriors. There's no guns thing will make more sense of what happens later, which is all of the weapons seem to be either sword-based or chains that people throw at people with base. Yeah, it's like an entire world that only knows samurai's a ghost rider.

Oh, man, that's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. So Alita goes running off through the streets and she bumps into her pal Hugo who went, he and his pals are playing a game called Motorball which involves riding around on rocket powered roller-states. I mean, rocket powered is a bit much motorized. But they're like, yeah, they're like pushing a button in their hand

and then shoots them around. How does this motorball compare to say a rollerball? It's pretty similar, I think. I mean, there's a ball in the roll, and there's only one robot that I know of involved. But later on, there's a lot of robots. So did I answer your question? Case closed, counselor.

So we get a scene that's like a little bit of a romantic courtship, because Alita clearly, from the first moment she laid her giant eyes on him, is in love with Hugo. I mean, he's a dreamboat, and he kind of is interested in her, but you know, he's a little girl. And he's also kind of like the first non-dead dude,

you see, like she kind of imprints upon him. And DD, non-dead dude. Like a big duck, like a little bit. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, as soon as she sees him, she goes, oh, want that. Yeah, yeah. And that all, I mean, that kind of drives her narrative

for the rest of the movie, but we'll get to that. So she rides around, she is much better at motorbull than anyone else. And she, let's see, what are other things to be learned? We learn that there is somebody going around Iron City, murdering people. She suspects that it's her father, because he's covered and blood at one point. I mean, come on, who is it?

It's inside all of us. And that's the thing, Stewart, it usually stays inside. If it's covering up, I'm sorry. I mean, if you're doing it right, I guess. It's a rare that you just spring a leak and it just gets on you, like a pen broke. Here's something. and it just gets on you, like a pen broke or something. So Edo Don's the... Edo Don's the garb of what we will later learn to be

a hunter warrior, which is a cool black leather duster and a giant like preachers hat. And he's got this enormous unwieldy reaper. Yeah, I mean, he's like a rocket-powered hammer, yeah. A super hammer. It's like basically like the size of like Ronin the accuser's hammer. Yeah. But he's just criss-crossed off Waltz, like walking around with him, like a rocket-powered hammer, yeah. It's like for hammer. It's like basically like the size of like Ronin the accuser's hammer. Yeah.

But he's just criss-off waltz, like walking around with him. Like a normal dude. It's crazy. Yeah, it's like, like, if you were going to a store and you're like, I mean, I think we're I think we're gonna have to go like kill evil, like, cyborgs. You, I think you would choose something

that you could like wield easily. Something that wasn't twice your height. Exactly. So that you could get it through doorways. Exactly. Like, let's get it through doorways. Exactly. Like, let's say this, you're a hunter killer. You know there's a bounty on a guy.

Hunter warrior. Hunter warrior, sorry. You're a hunter warrior. Sorry, I denobilized it. You have find a bounty on a guy who's like four T stops away, local. And thank you. You know what? You're not gonna make it a parent time if you walk. You know what? You're not gonna make it at the end of time if you walk.

You're gonna have to take the train. How are you gonna get that thing through the doors? The doors keep closing on your big side hammer. Everyone on the train is like, come on. Can we speed it up? Let's go guys. It reminds me of a time. Yeah.

I was on the New York City subway, a crowded train. And yeah, boo, boo. boo, the MTA, boo, I mean, natural city. I mean, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh an entire bookcase made out of, you know, those like a rector set type metal pieces. Yeah. Took up a lot of space, and this other guy stayed next to him, and was going, hey, what do you think of, pal?

Come on! What are you doing? Hey! And then, that guy was one of the Ninja Turtles. Yeah. And the next stop, the Heckler got off, and he goes, this is going to be the best part.

And as he walks off the train, I hear him say, hey, check out the numb nuts with the shelves. And that is New York in a nutshell. Wait, you also, he hype man, his own closing remarks? Yes, he said this is gonna be the best part. And he was getting the most joy out of announcing to the people who are about to get on the train that there's some idiot, a numb nuts in his word,

a man whose nuts have no feelings. They are numb, whether through cold or nerve damage, I don't know. To the point that it's affected his thinking, and he doesn't know that it's stupid to bring a whole set of shelves onto a crowded subway train. And so, I would say to Christophe Waltz, try a smaller weapon. So I think you're unearned. Totally unearned. And that's the weapon model.

So yeah, it turns out that Alita's fears were for naught because her father figure, Edo, is not a murderer. No, no, no. He just kills people as a hunter warrior. And she interrupts his attempt to catch some prey, which is a bunch of all-metal people with human faces. And they have a cool fight. And she kills them all and has a... kills all but one of them. And has this triggered memory where she's on the moon and she's fighting people and jumping around, and it's crazy. And then the...

She's obviously some kind of battle bot. Yeah, she's clearly a battle bot. She kicks the arm off of... How many central battle bot? Yeah, she's just like a flat disc with one saw on it. And she's just bumping into a wall over and over again. Well, the play-by-play announcer's tried desperately to make it seem entertaining.

Now, how does she feel about yanking crank? Here's the thing. She is pro crank yanking when it's done by a puppet or artificial human. OK. When done by a meat puppet, a biological human, she can see it's defensive. OK. Yeah. She checks out.

Anyway, Stuart. By the way, if anyone has seen any cranks that are in need of yanking, contact Comedy Central, Care of Viaccom entertainment, care of Dan McCoy. She was coming back, baby, for some reason. Uh, so... What's better, what better time for a prank call show than an era where nobody picks up their phone if they don't recognize the number?

It's calling out for it. Someone's calling. Colorado says cranky ink. I can't be right. It says rude. I better pick it up. At this point, every time I answer a call, my crank is being yanked by someone

who wants to sell me some sort of vehicle insurance for a vehicle I don't own. So I've been yanked. Since. I've been yanked. I'm democally. For the yanked, it's me. My color, I deezes, boy.

That's the most common shirt speaker for the yanked. Sorry, you're saying Stuart. So what I was saying is, there's one giant, weird looking robot named, gr-wis-gr-wis-ka. Gr-wis-ka. Who gets his arm kicked off and he's like, uh, I'll never forget you and then jumps down a hole.

This is something Grwiska is going to continue to do is get his ass handed to him and then yell, Grwiska, we'll remember this and run away. OK, so at this point, we then cut back into a beautiful high rise where we see Vector and Kyron having a conversation. Vector, of course, played by Mahershal Ali, another Oscar winner. And this is a very stacked cast by the way. Yeah, the cast is very good.

I mean, for a movie with a big budget, they could afford great actors. And he has a performance we'll get to later in the movie that I think is a genuinely great scene on this part. So, Grewishka shows up. His arm's been kicked off. He ain't happy about it. He's like, oh, I'm gonna kill that Lita. Meanwhile, all of a sudden, he starts acting weird and it appears like he is being controlled by someone else. And we're introduced to yet another character named Nova. That's it. Your eyes go blue and Nova can control you.

He also can control Vector. Okay, I guess that seems to be the big bad guy. And everybody can't stop talking about Alita. We now Alita and Hugo go on a date to the motorball stadium where a bunch of robots ride around on a track and break each other and try and carry a ball somewhere. The ball is not that important. Now, when you say robots, I just want to clarify,

they are mostly cyborgs or human heads, but entirely robot bodies, and their arms have big blades and buzz saws, which makes me wonder, what are these guys doing when it's not motorball time? What are they doing with all those buzz saws when it's not time to fight? Do you think they stick their head on a different body?

Like normally when I'm not motorballing, I like my head to be on a gardener-bottom body. Yeah, maybe. I could see that. I like to be in a body that's a saw blade or just like a triangle of wood that can flip other bots over. Oh, you're saying so they get more battle body. By the way, those streets are tough, Ellie. By the way, for anyone who did not watch a leader before the show, like, having watched a leader, I flash on when Stewart is telling about the movie to, like, this must be how anyone who does not care about science fiction feels when someone tries to explain a science fiction thing, and they're like, because then Vector is in charge of the motor ball. And a leader goes there and like, oh god, just stop it.

Just, uh, whatever. Whatever you're selling to me, I'll buy it, I don't know. It reminds me of the time Tom Broke I wouldn't stop talking to me about doing. Oh, yeah. Uh, hey, what, Elliot, here's the gist of the story. It's the tale of Paul Atreides, young heir to House Atreides, and how he manages to win the war for Arrakis,

not by dominating the planet, but by losing himself in the culture of the Freeman. It's spelled Fremen, and so for quite some time, I thought it was pronounced Fremen. Now, the interesting thing about the book, although all of it is interesting, is... Tom, we have another show tonight. I'll be happy to tell them about Dune as well.

APPLAUSE It's... Greatest hits, Stu, take it away. So, Hugo has a conversation with Vector at the motorballerina and Vector gets him and his crew of buddies to Don Masks and attack another motorball guy and chop off his arm so they can get his precious grind cutter. We'll be seeing more of that later. Which is like he can, he, there's like blades at the end of chains that he has like finger chain blades that fly out.

His fingers turn into chain blades that fly out. I mean, everybody knows what a grind cutter is. Sorry, I'm sorry, I forgot, I forgot this was Boston. Thank you. Well, I'm sure a grind cutter is a kind of sandwich. So yeah, they like, they like jump this dude and chop his arms off. It's really messed up. Okay, the next day Hugo and his friends, including Alita, go on a date into the badlands where they find an urm warship that has been crash landed.

Now, you're probably wondering, what's this arm stewart's talking about? The whole time Dan was like, tell me more about arm, it's making my arm squirm. This was a big argument we had during the thing, because it becomes clear that Alita is one of these arm who... It's like the United Republic of Mars. Yeah, they were the ones that were...

Yeah, arm, dude. They were the ones that Earth was fighting the ledge of the fall, and I'm like, all through the United Republic of Mars. Yeah, they were the ones that earned, dude. They were the ones that Earth was fighting the ledge of the fall. And I'm like, all through the movie, I'm like, this is gonna be addressed at some point, right? That she's one of these earned. Like, this is gonna have, like,

it's gonna cause her a conflict, yeah. This is because, as I was saying to Dan, it's like he was watching Star Wars. And Luke says, you fall with my father in the Clone Wars and Dan was like, why won't they stop and tell me more about the Clone Wars? I'm enjoying this adventure too much. I want a history lesson.

Then would make sense if Luke had fought in the Clone Wars and they never mentioned it again. Our main character. And how about this? You are part of the enemy combatant, and it's never addressed. So here, Dan, okay, let's say this. Let's say we're less than 300 years

from the Revolutionary War, Boston. And let's say, let's say out're less than 300 years from the revolutionary war Boston and let's say Let's say out of hibernation a British soldier a Tory or somewhat. Yeah appeared would people would be like get the fuck out of here Dude we fought you away. Hey, what take off that beer skin cap They'd be like hey, what's going on? We know what a 300-year-old That was from another planet and there were the last one. How about that Elliott? I'd want to meet them even more Dan What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do.

What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do.

What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a little 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a 300-year-old guy just was something to do.

What a 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a 300-year-old guy just was something to do. What a 300-old guy just was something to do. What a 300-300-year-old guy just was something one line addressing like either like, oh, you know what, I was an arm, but like your earthways have converted me or being, I forget what the other thing is, I don't care, the point is, we were watching it and we argued about it and it was the, like the closest I've come to be actually angry at it. I thought Dan was gonna quit the show, he was so mad, that I did not agree with him,

that there should have been more arm talk. The thing was, Dan, Dan, comically dismissive of me. Dan, the thing is, you're not the only person who's interested in the arm stuff, because Alita is also interested. As she sneaks aboard the arm ship and finds a robot body, which we learn is a berserker body and ultimate killing machine body, which her father is like,

I'm not putting your fucking head on that thing. That's crazy. Which to be fair, if my son came to me and said, hey, I found this cool robot monster body, will you put my brain in? I would be like, no. That when you turn 18, what you want to do with your body is your business.

But as long as you live under my roof, you are not putting your brain in a monster body. I mean, again, to be fair, you're primarily known for writing for the Daily Show, writing for Mystery Science Theater, the upcoming Selun, you were not really known for putting brains in anybody's. That's true. I would also say,

I'm not qualified to do this work. When you turn 18, if you want me to do it, I will do my best because I love you and respect your life choices when you turn 18. Okay. If you want a body mod yourself like crazy, get one of those lizard tongues. I don't know. when you turn 18. Okay. If you want a body mod yourself like crazy, get one of those lizard tongues. I don't know.

When you're 18. And Alita's basically a teenager, so she runs off, puts on a cool ass duster, goes to, she goes to the Hunter Killer Academy or wherever the fuck it is. It's like a church, okay. It's like the City Hall and also the building where Vector has his offices.

It's the one nice skyscraper in town. Yeah, so she goes there and she signs up. She becomes a hunter warrior. And then she and with Hugo and Toe, head to a bar called Kansas Bar, I don't know why, that's filled with hunter warriors including a fellow named Zapan who has a human face and a little metal beard and a sword that Alita likes. There's also actor Jeff Faye. He is playing a

bounty hunter who has a metal beard as well and a bunch of metal dogs. He's dressed up like a cowboy. Yeah, and he disappears from the movie way too fast because he's fucking... Yeah, you want to watch a movie about him, I guess. I mean, it's hard to see a character who is a cyborg sheriff with cyborg dogs in your movie and not be like, we found the star of the movie, everybody. The same way that in Bright, that sentor-mounted policeman cop shows up and you're like, finally, the movie.

And then he just walks off screen or whatever. So Alita goes there and she antagonizes all the hunter warriors. She's like, you got to help me find this guy, Gruwisca. And they're like, who? He's not even a bounty on his head. And she's like, ah, somebody's protecting him. They don't care. It's a weird moment. She's like, who stands with me in this fight? And they're like, I don't even know what the fight is.

And I've been watching you since you woke up. Yeah. So, uh, Edo shows up as well. And then, of course, Gruwisca shows up. And just like Jason X, Grewish shows up. And just like Jason X, he's gotten an upgrade because he's got a grind cutter for an arm, and I think his body is painted slightly different. And he uses grind cutter to kill

the only really cool character in the movie. That's right, the tiny little dog who followed Alita. You don't see it, it's off camera, but it's still sad. Alita takes it well by smearing the dog's blood space on her. Yeah, she takes the dog's blood and smears under eyes, like put me in coach. Yeah. So she's like, okay, Grushka, let's battle.

And he's like, I got this new thing. And they're like, wow. And then he opens a hole in the ground. And he's like, I'll remember you always and jumps in the hole. And she's like, well, I'm coming after you, dude. And then he tells you the story about how he was like, down at me, like, he lives in the ground and he's like, I'll remember you always and jumps in the hole and she's like, well, I'm coming after you, dude. And then he tells you the story about how he was like, down at me, like, he lives in the hole

and he loves being a hole. And this dude knows about him. And like, brought him out of the hole and he's like, cool. So they battle and lead us on. That's entirely accurate, by the way. It's pretty much the story he tells. And so, like, Chase's are throwing these fingers at her. I just realized, if you want to imagine Grwyshka,

here's a common cultural reference. It's overt kill. The cyborg with a human head from spawn. OK, done. Now, you know what he looks like. So she's running away from these fingers. He keeps throwing a matter. And eventually, she's like, I'm done running.

I'm going to beat you up. So she jumps at him and she's doing this cool corkscrew thing that's part of her cyborg martial arts called Panzer Kunst. I forgot to mention that, but it's okay. And she's flying through the air and there's all these fingers flying at her and all of a sudden her body just comes apart

because she got caught in the razor fingers. And you're like, whoa, Alita's dead. The movie's gonna be over. Not so fast, because she throws herself up in the air and punches him in the eyeball and breaks her own arm off. Yeah, it's pretty cool. It's awesome. She's a torso with one arm, and she lands on that arm

and like holds herself up by it, and then just like goes, wham! I used to, I used a little physical stuff for the people at home. Yeah. I used to think that Warro in Street Fighter III Thirds. Strike was cool because he was able to fight against guys like Ryu

and all those guys with only one arm. But she doesn't even have legs. It's crazy. OK, so her body's totally destroyed. Edo takes her and he's like, I guess I got only one option. And he sticks her head in the berserker body, which conforms to like the shape that she wants, I guess, because it's full of nano machines or something.

There's a whole fake made-up science thing. Oh, her brain is psychically changing it to her image, nano-volts, and it's like, you just have to imagine Christoph Waltz looking at the lines in the script and being like, how do I make this work? How do I act this nonsense gibberish? I'm gonna fight back against Elliot's label that I want more gibberish exposition, which

is to say that- You said it with your own mouth. You wanted more talk about this 300-year-old girl war that no one cares about. It's a character thing. I wanted a character, but the point is, I'm just going about the urn. I just just going hmm, about the... Oh, I'm just like, I just think one of the best movies,

I think of last year, or was that earlier this year the favorite, they don't even tell you what Worshie's fighting, and that was a real war. They could have filled you with Spanish succession facts, and yet they said, we don't need it. This is a story about the characters, not about the history. Not actually an accurate analogy, but anyway, the point is, I would like, for the people who are staying for both shows,

God bless you and God keep you. Godzilla bless you, second show. And your main acts. But like Godzilla, that movie is a movie where they waste way, way, way too much time on like science gibberish. And you would like to visit the same plague upon the house of Alita. Oh, I'm saying that like, by and large, Alita's very good

at being like, I don't know, nanomachines, whatever. And then we just keep on rolling. That's true. So in this new body, Alita seems to be a little more confident. She wears cooler outfits. She- Got like a flash dance shirt that's off one shoulder. Yeah, and she like, she and Hugo kind of,

I don't want to say consummate their romance, but they like kiss and touch and it's cool. Is this one she's sitting in his window watching him? He's, but that time I need to really clearly state that she is way too good for it. Oh yeah, it's clear from the beginning that he's trash and she is a smash. Yeah.

Oh, what? Did you write that down before the show? I did not, but I should have, because I would have come up with a better rhyme. OK. So as I said before, everybody can't stop talking about a leader. If she's not on screen, people are talking about her. And so Vector is talking about it.

He's like, I need to kill a leader. No one wants me to do it. So he decides to put the squeeze on Hugo, who works for him, chopping up robots, to do something. We don't know exactly what, but Hugo believes that if he him, chopping up robots, to do something, we don't know exactly what, but Hugo believes that if he gives vector enough money, he'll be able to buy his way in his, a zollum, he buys way into heaven, it's crazy.

And we know that, Silly, everybody, multiple people have this same fantasy that if they pay this guy enough money, they'll get to go up and live in heaven. I mean, it's a fantasy that many real life people have, which is crazy, because the heaven book they read is exceedingly clear that that is not the way to get into heaven. No, no, maybe they got a secret heaven book that says,

money, money, money, please. So Alita wakes Hugo up who is sleeping off a hangover, and he's looking pretty smoke, and I guess. Oh, shirt off, trail, you know, everything. So she is sitting in his window sill, like a bird of prey. And they come up, they hatch a scheme together. She's like, here, you can just sell my heart. And he's like, for a rare moment, he's like, wait a minute.

I'm not going to sell your robot heart. Let's find a different way. And she's like, I'll just kill a bunch of people for you. And you can take the money. He's like, no, no, no. Why don't you earn the money for both of us by playing motorball, and we the audience are like, fuck yeah. I'm not speaking clear.

I'm not asking for more exposition, Elliot. But this movie does bring up a lot of stuff about human robot relationships that it does not make clear. Dan kept saying throughout the movie, while we're watching it, how do they have sex? Dan, they've got... They have the same thing when I was watching cars. Yeah, and I'll tell you the same thing I said about cars,

they have attachments for that. All right. So... I'm just checking my notes. You were, you wanted the scene where she says, and warning to anyone who's listening with children, you wanted the scene where she says, she says to him, Hugo, I can only do mouth stuff. And that scene, oh, and also, let me tell you about her.

You want to clear it up a lot for me. Hugo, let me go over the six rules for me. Also, here's what Irm was all about and how I feel about it. Anyway, I guess we don't have time for me to play motorball anymore. Here, me and the DVD with the deleted scenes. I'll eat them up. So Alita suits up to play some motorball.

Meanwhile, Vector is setting her up. He's got a team of people to murder her instead of worrying about the ball, which seems to be everybody's case. Her father, though disapproving, supports her and gives her some cool roller skate feet. Meanwhile, while she's riding around on the track or receiving phone calls from everybody, Hugo goes to find his, Hugo goes to find his scrapper crew and they're ripping the arms and legs off of some poor guy.

And a rival bounty hunter warrior, Zapan, who was made fun of and mocked for his little metal beard, shows up. He's the one with the super cool sword. Yep, he shows up. He frames Hugo for murder and then kills Hugo's friend and chases him around. Alita finding out that Hugo's in trouble leaves the motorball track and like kills a bunch of motorball people. It's pretty cool. And then she shows up, saves Hugo for a second and then Zapan, the evil hunter warriors like you got to kill Hugo. He's a criminal. He's a bounty on his head. And of course she can't do that because she loves him so Zapan just stabs him which Dan's like what did you let that happen Alita and we're like it's part of the leader. He was like Alita just take care of it.

Well before he kills him just kills a pan and I was like Dan. That's part of the learning process. Like everybody has to watch their first boyfriend and his dad died. That's a bad guy who's gonna stab him. Dan is so falling for the trap the movie has set. I was like, Dan, you are reacting exactly the way, Dan's like, this movie is busted and I'm like, you're busted, Dan.

You're doing exactly what the movie wants you to do. You're a puppet of the movie. Elliot, if Alita had only listened to me through the movie, none of the movie. Alien. If Alita had only listened to me through the movie, none of the sad stuff would have happened. He is the guy in the movie theater who's yelling, don't go in there. Not knowing that if the character takes his advice,

the movie is over, and the fun will be gone. You're a lost childish sense of wonder, sir. So Alita runs off with it. I don't know what it is. You know, a childish sense of wonder about what happened in the earn war. And if you were wondering about what's happened to Hugo, now that he's been stabbed, well,

Alita carries him off, and then she runs into Kyron, who shows up for some reason, and surgically removes Hugo's head, and connects his head to Alita's heart, which I think is symbolism, guys. But that allows Alita to reveal to the robots that she chopped his head off, and they're like, oh, bounty, accumulated.

And then the evil hunter warriors like, oh, but wait, what, what? And he tries to stop her, and the robots are like, oh, you can do whatever you want to this dude, and she's like, thanks, and takes his sword and chops half his face off. And she keeps his sword. OK, boom, we're his sword and chops half his face off. And she keeps his sword. Okay, boom, we're almost done.

We're at home stretch. Okay, so Alita goes after Vector, and then Grushka shows up, and she just totally smokes, and he's a total wimp. And Vector's like, oh, I hope I have another robot. But it also, I know I'm doing what you hate, but it also turns out that Jennifer Connelly, who wanted to get up to the sky, she has been harvested for organs.

Apparently, that's the only way you can actually get up. And she was supposed to turn in Alita to get there, but in fact, her being a mother herself once upon a time, she couldn't do it. And she has turned on her evil captors and now that her organs pulled out of her body. Yeah, so her brain in a time. She couldn't do it. And she has turned on her evil captors. And now her organs pulled out of her body. Yeah, so where she's a brain in a jar? And Vector,

I would understand angles. A math joke. So, yeah, so she murders that robot and then like, all of a sudden Vector starts talking with Nova's voice. Nova's the big bad remember and he starts talking some sass and she sasses back. And then eventually she stabs him in the belly, and then we get a great scene where Mahershal Ali has to play

a guy whose body is dying, but is controlled by someone. It's pretty cool. His body is dying, but he has the voice and personality of this confident villain who is taunting the hero. And I was like, this is really good work. That what he's doing here, not a joke. So, I mean, Mahershal Ali is a great actor. I don't know, guys. I don's doing here, not a joke. So it turns out he's a great actor. I don't know, guys.

I don't know. You heard about this? I don't know. I don't know. I guess I got to go see Moonlight. So we find out that in his dying moment, well, I guess not dying moments, but Nova has sent robots after Hugo, who in fact is in Ted, he's been in touch with robot, and Hugo has gone running off.

And we learned that Hugo is trying to... Climbing a pipe to the sky. Yeah, he's trying to climb his way to Zollum. There's these big space elevator cables up to Zollum, and there earlier we have saw a flashback where Alita... Or does that fly? No, there's Alita's fighting her way up the cables to Zollum, and there's like a big spinning blade

that comes down cutting things up, and now Hugo's climbing up there. Alita chased thatim and there's like a big spinning blade that comes down cutting things up and now he goes climbing up there. Uh oh. Alita Chase is out there. She's like, don't do it dude and he's like, I'll do whatever I want. And uh, the Jago.

The giant spinning blade. I died and came back. The giant spinning blade comes flying down and he's like, I can jump over this super easy. Not so fast, sir. And he gets chopped into little pieces. She jumps after him, she catches him, but his arm breaks and he falls.

And turns out there's nothing funnier than seeing a limbless head fall. Like a little, like, not in waving, not in, not endorsed. This is a painting that's not endorsed by the rest of the lot of house. I don't know if I made you fun of any like real thing that has happened. Make it worse. I'm thinking of a robot man who has been chopped up who's following this is not going to age well in our post human future.

What have I done? So Alita survives and she vows vengeance. She's going to find a way to Zala.. And the only way she can do it is by, I guess, playing more motorball. So she shows up to the motorball stadium. She does some, she strikes a pose. She points her sword at the floating city. And on the floating city, we see why Nova was so confident. That's right, because he's played by Edward Norton

with a white mullet. Yeah. It is, it is. What? He's played by Edward Norton with a white mullet. It is interesting how fully putting like little, little steam punk glasses and a bleach job on Edward Norton disguises him. Because it is not until he takes the glass off that we're like, holy shit. It's the original incredible. Uh, not at all, Dan. Not at all.

Not at all. He's not even the original incredible hole in the movies, Dan. That's Eric Banna. Lou Farrigno pretty predates both of them. I knew that would anger you. Yeah. Now I know what it's like when someone doesn't tell me enough about her.

And they're clearly setting this movie up for a sequel. So now this is where we close the book on Alita, Colin Patelay. The big leather belt all you have. That's right. Because it was based on books. Books that I read some of in preparation for this. And whether you learn from those books., let's talk about final judgments now. This is where we make final judgments on whether this was a good movie, bad movie, or

a movie kind of liked. I, you know, I like the books quite a bit. I think they're a little, they're certainly a little weirder. They're filled with a lot of cyborgs that clearly have made strong life choices. And I kind of like the, in the movie, like a big part of the movie is the relationship between Hugo and Alita, and they make him a little redeemable in this, like he's a jerk idiot,

but he's not like a murderer. And in the comics, he's basically a murderer and doesn't care about her at all. But her like wide eyed love for him is so, like, it feels so real because, like, when you're young, you're dumb and you make bad decisions. And you love people who don't deserve it. Um, but I, all that aside. Yeah, you okay, Stu?

Just anything you want to talk about? Oh, oh. Can I tell you who my guys are? Yeah. So tell me about the fact that we had at the lab factory. But we've, I mean, it's fast. There's a lot of information in there. And not there's probably too much information,

except the earm stuff. I don't want to talk about that. But I mean, the motorball stuff's great. And the actors are fun and Christoph Waltz is fine. So I would say, I say, this is a movie I like. Like this, I mean, yeah, this is definitely a movie I like. Yeah, I, the, yeah.

I mean, this is a movie I love. Yeah, yeah, people love it, people love it. I was, I'll admit it, I was ready to go into this movie, not liking it, because I find the giant eyes so off-footing. And I was like, this movie's not big eyes. What's going on? Or big fish. A big fish would have big eyes too.

Or big with Tom Hanks. Big one life. Why is that? You get that much bigger when you've got big eyes. Well, yeah, because your eyes are just kind of the same size throughout your life, I guess. But anyway, so. But after I got over the fact that Alita

doesn't have a whole lot of personality at first, I also really liked in the end. I found that there are a lot of good action scenes in it. I liked some of the characters in the design work looks real cool. Here's, and it's brightly colored. It's not gray and grim and dark looking. You're not watching, I don't know,

giant monster's fight in dark snowy things. Save it for the late show! But I will say this. Holly, I did like this movie, but Hollywood, I'm gonna throw down the gauntlet. I want you to find me a new set of iconographies for future cities. Let's put Blade Runner aside.

It's beautiful. It doesn't really work for me. It's a movie, but it works for me very well. It's a coffee table book. Let's put Blade Runner aside. It's beautiful. It doesn't really work for me as a movie, but it works for me very well as a coffee table book. Let's put Blade Runner aside. Let's set Road Warrior aside with all the letter and the spikes and chains. That's great. Let's set it aside.

I want you to think about a new vision of the future, because as much as I like to lead other times, right? Aside from Wakanda, right? Wakanda is a step in the right direction, because at least it moves away. We've had a solid 30 years of future equals Asian, which is great, but I've seen a lot of it. Well, Khan is like future equals Africa. Great, I love it.

Let's see more of that. But hey, what about like a really crazy future? It's supposed to be 300 years in the future. What do people, and the people's phones? They don't look that cool. And I know the 300 years, people are going to have super cool phones. So Hollywood, next time you make a future movie,

think about how cool the phones should be. But that aside, I'm like, so. You've been Ellie and Kaylon. Yeah. For the flop-ass, I'm Ellie Kaylon. Good night, everybody. No, Dan, you have to talk, right? That could be the name of the podcast.

Dan, you have to talk, right? Yeah, I liked it. It was good. So on a scale from 0 to 10 irms, how many irms would you give it? Seven irms. I gave it seven irms. It was a little too convoluted, a little too long, but I liked it.

But let's move on. We usually take some questions from the audience to close out the show. We have to be a little more tight-ass about like shutting it down this heap. Yeah, keep it there's a microphone there. Right there. So we're gonna need to see a mad dash scramble

to get over there. If you wanna ask your questions because we don't have a lot of time to waste. We don't have 15 minutes. We don't have a lot of time to eat up. And you know what that means. We don't have time for a song tonight. We don't have time for a song tonight. We don't have time for a rhyme tonight.

We don't have time to eat limes tonight. I'm sorry, there's just no time. If I had the time, I'd sing you a song so loud and so long. I got it. I'm so strong. I'm so strong. I'd sing you that song, but we just don't have that a delta I wish we had hours and hours of time. I wish we had hours

hours to be together But we don't question number one please. All right. Let's hear it Thank you. Oh Well, hey people seem to like that song. Oh, no. OK. Question number one, please. My name is Karl last name withheld.

My girl, thanks for being here. One of my favorite old flop house bits was in ATM when Elliott made a joke about those old X-Files bumpers that went, the X-Files, and brought to you by Roll Gold Pretzels. That guy was the quickest voice changer in the biz. Yes. And I think I mentioned that arguments with my former roommate, Ryan Chan, who lives in Boston now,

about whether it was two different kids, or the same guy. Yes. Clearly the same guy, yes? My favorite thing about that, not only is it funny, but it sort of, like I thought I was the only guy in the world who remembered how weird those were. So in your life, what are your favorite jokes

that are extra funny because it seems like they were made for you and only you? Chokes that were made only for us. I mean, like, I don't know. It's take me, at the time I felt like, when I first started watching. Jander, you okay? You just, I'm just taking a thinking stroll. I'm just taking a thinking stroll.

I will say, there's an episode of Mystery Science, the other 2000, where, yep, great show, where something laughs, and then I think it's Bill Corpett as Krogo's, ha ha ha, Raceway, Park. And those are commercials that aired in my local area. And I was like, how did they know about that? And every time I hear the laughter at the beginning of wipeout, I always think it's the Raceway Park jingle. So.

Yeah, I was telling my wife, this has nothing to do with it. But I was telling my wife when we were driving up, we were listening to Sharp Dressed Man by CZ Top. And every time I hear the scat lines where he's like, black tie, I always think it's like the Mason Virger actor from the TV show Hannibal. But don't, let's move on. Then.

I would say, at the time when I saw venture brothers, it felt like, at the time it felt like, oh wow, this mate for me, and then I'm like, oh wait, I'm It felt like, at the time, it felt like, oh, wow, this made for me, and then I'm like, oh, wait, I'm just a boring white guy from a certain age. But like, I think it was an episode of Rick and Morty where they had the character scary Terry, you kept saying bitch all the time. I'm like, oh, yeah, I feel like that's a flop-ass bit.

Yeah. He's a Freddy Krueger parody, that's what I'm saying. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Dan was thinking of the joke. I don't have a good, like, I think that this, this mostly comes up less with, like, um, with pop culture, of course, as it does with, like, friends, like, with you, Elliot, or-

The TV show Friends? And yeah. Or when I'm with my brother, like, uh, just, like, talking about stuff and making references to nonsense that yesterday, we were basically doing lines from animal crackers, verbatim. Yeah. We were talking about where they're looking in the shops.

Ooh, sorry I missed that. Mark Brothers movie. I told you my new favorite line from Ducksuit, which I didn't realize until I watched again recently as part of mine, my son's every Mark's Brothers movie chronologically project. We're in the bad ones right now. When Chick goes on trial and they go, when were you born?

And he goes, I don't remember. I was just a little baby. And he says it so seriously. Yeah, it's nice to remember things with friends. Question number two, please. Hi, guys. Norman, last name would help. Baked Scotted. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, it's nice to remember things with friends. Question number two, please. Hi, guys.

Norman, last name would help. Baked, got it. Exactly. So ever since Ellie, it talked about his unproduced script with Robert Moses as the bad guy. Yeah. I think we should get you guys in Australia. The state it was called.

Well, it's dead now, but all right. Well, I was curious to get you guys inside on what little known villain would make a good flop house villain and a good blockbuster villain. Oh, a little now. A little like a real life villain? Yeah, a good historical villain. John Landis. Oh, wow.

Wow. Shot fired. Shot fired. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-b I can't believe that Supernatural comedy wrote about Robert Moses never win anywhere. It wasn't just about Robert Moses. It was also about Jane Jacobs. Let's see. There's so many good ones. This is not as obscure, but I'm watching a podcast that John Hodgman and I are doing for

Maximum Fun as a donors thing. We're watching I-Claudeus together. And I'm like, oh, yeah. And I'm getting really into Ancient Rome, and I'm like, oh, there's so many weirdos in Ancient Rome. Like, it's such a, and when I was young, I thought Rome was so boring. And now the more I read about it, the more I'm like,

this is the craziest time there ever was. Everyone's a weirdo. I'm a lot dumber than Elliot, so. I'll also say, OK, Charles Goutot, the man who shot James Garfield, who was a real, also a real weirdo. OK. Yeah, I'm like trying to give it like history.

And I'm like, oh, wait, I don't know history. So let's just say, what if there are more movies about golems? OK, I mean, there have been a few. But I guess for a guy who thinks the whole character, OK, that's. He was not. I'm more originated the role of the Hulk. There's never been one called the golem, right?

There is. I don't know why you're berating me. Because that's fine. Other than that, that's our bid. I hope that satisfies you. If it doesn't, I'm sorry. Next question, please. Hi, I'm Erica.

Last name I've told. I was going to ask a question about the air-mic wars, but since that's kind of like... Let's not, let's not open that bandage. Thank you. Thank you. I was going to ask, um, Christopher Waltz in this movie... It's fine. We've covered it. I mean, and not to Waltz in this movie. It's fine, we've covered it.

I mean, and not to dunk on him more, but this is now the second movie that he's been in where he's like played a character that's involved with a character with big eyes. So what's all that about? He's typecast by Hollywood. Is this character? All the big eyes characters.

Now, I think part of it is that he does kind of look like the character, the way the characters draw on in the comics. Like, he's got that kind of, I don't know, Mac tonight type quo. Mac tonight. Why, they just go get James. I know then, I don't understand that. That's true.

Why didn't they get famed actor box office draw, Jaylen? Ever since he teamed up with Pat Marina, he's been a box office legend. You see this, Len? You see this? So I would say, I just want to say something about Chris Waltz here. I like Chris Waltz a lot. I don't think he's really great, but for some reason, they've been putting him in roles that are just like,

not the right ones for him. And the fact that the main character, that this character's last name is Edo, tells me that this should probably be a Japanese character with a Japanese actor, not a famously Austrian actor. It's not even they could be like, we didn't know where he was from. I don't know.

Is he known for playing Germano, Austrian characters? I don't know. So he maybe wasn't right for this one, but hey, Christoff, you know what? I still like you. Save the last waltz for me. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE

Can't say anything after that. Yeah. Ryan, last name with Held? Is you or someone you're looking for? You might be off the warrior. A lot of movies become cult classics, but only if you become midnight movie showings where you shout at the screen,

and there's like a shadow cast, you throw things at the screen and stuff. Like the room and Rocky Horror. What movie, that's a cult classic, would you guys elevate to a midnight madness sort of thing? And what would you shout at the screen, would you throw it? Like for example, would you throw a hostess thing

dogs at the screen during a certain scene of a certain movie, a story? Interesting. I am picking up what you're putting down. No. I just remembered that from our last live show, we had some audio problems, so we should probably start repeating questions after people asked them, by the way.

Great time to remember it, Dan. Spot on. Earning the producer credit once again. So Dan, yes, remember the question, or were you too busy thinking about that part? What would elevate a mirror? Well, what movie would it be? When midnight movies smash, what movie would, yes?

Would we elevate? And I think it's kind of obvious for me. There's a little guy. He goes by the initials N.B. And he's got a little movie called Faithful Findings. That's right, it's Neo Brain. And that movie is a strange work of maniac outside our art. And I think I would throw laptops at the screen.

Every time he hurls his laptops off the desk, we're also in any of the scenes where he is kissing a woman and it pans down in a shirt falls on the ground, which signifies in his unique artistic iconography sex. I would throw a shirt at the screen. But I think he beat you to the punch because he doesn't let any theater screen his movies past 7pm. For the exactly this race. For that exact reason.

Yes, it does not want to be a figure of fun. Do you like Neil Brain? I don't know. I would say one of my favorite Halloween movies is a movie called Night of the Demons. And it's a great, yeah, it's a great horror movie, great Halloween movie. And I feel like it'd be a blast to watch as a midnight movie where you throw candy or apples with razor blades in them at the screen or something.

You can do that, right? It goes yourself, you get them at the theater. Well, you have to make them yourself or else you don't get the love. So that's what I would say, night of the demons, Daniel. You know, I am a big proponent of my favorite zombie film is Return of the Living Dead, which is, you know, a popular amongst horror comedy folk, but not necessarily like huge in the world. It's not on the AFI list, yeah. Well, I was looking at like, I was looking at best bad horror movie lists, because I was like, gonna do a screening of some bad horror movies.

And there are all these lists with like movies that are clearly meant to be tongue in cheek and that was one of them on there and maybe very angry. But we're turning to the living dead, punk rock version of a zombie film and I think you should throw a mercen... Yeah, a mercen... Yeah, we both have the same joke. Mercen...

And honor of the scene where... You gotta buy a mercen? Yeah. You gotta buy a mercen... No, they have them in the fucking scene. You hear it, you're a trash fan, Elliot. You got to buy a mercen... No, they have them in the fucking... You hear it, you're a shillop man, Elliot. You got to commit. I guess that's true.

You got to go to the mercen warehouse. I'm sure it's mercen.com. Get to go down to mercen... Mercen... Mercen... I don't know. Maybe do another... Help that answer your question.

I hope you wanted to hear was that. So thank you very much. OK, coming up next, next questioner. Hey, I'm Matt, first time longtime. Matt, last name is first time longtime. Yeah, that's a family name. So this movie was really all-ar. Damn, sometimes you do tickle me.

I'll see myself out. So this movie was released as Alita Battle Angel, but the manga it's based on is Battle Angel Alita. Well, they read backwards in Japan. And I thought of this question when the friendly fire episode in the donor feed reviewed Edge of Tomorrow, which has its name changed to Liv Dye Repeat. And it's now officially known as Liv Dye Repeat. So are there any movies that you would officially

change the title of to something else? Are there any movies we would officially change the title of to something else? There's a movie. So there's a movie starring Guy Pierce where he has to break into a jail that's in outer space. Yeah. Yeah. where he has to break into a jail that's an outer space. And any sane person would have called it space jail. But what are they called the breakout?

It's like the greatest lockout. Lockout is the... Lockout, lockdown, terrible. Space jail, I can't forget it. That's like there's a movie with, it's It's The Rock and some other dude, and it's called, I think, The Roundabout. Or some of them.

Yeah. The Roundabout. The Roundabout? And the original title was, Hell Dorado, which is a much better name. I mean, I think we talked about when we did devil that was a big elevator. Should be called elevator, yeah.

Obvious name. Or are we done with devil Vader? I thought that was pretty good. Devil Vader, I don't explain you backstage why that's worse. I mean, so better than devil. Oh yeah, yeah. Don't get me wrong, which doesn't get across the most salient point, which is that elevator.

But again, even elevator is not a good name for that, because as George Carlin point out, it goes down as well as up. The name only tells half the story. That's a George Carlin joke. So I guess that an elevator should what be called like a vertical people mover or a vert-poove.

All right, we're moving on. Thanks. Yeah, we can get through this whole line and go. That's perfect. Two more questions. Two more questions. Dan, you sound like you got a place to be. And that place is setting up for our next show.

All right. Hey guys, Andrew Lesney with Elv. And, thanks for being here. Hey, so tomorrow's Rishashana, meeting the podcast. Set you set up like you were accusing us. Tomorrow's Rishashana, you should be at home preparing for the new year.

With your family. You have call us debate. You're late. You've got brisket to roast. Tomorrow's Rishashana, after that, in the days before you're in people, we're just to apologize to people for our sins. Would you guys like to apologize to each other for what you've done to each other over the past year?

Okay, okay. Guys, would you like to apologize to me? That's a good question. Thank you for reminding me of my sacred obligation as a member of the Hebrew race, Dan, I would like to apologize to you for making fun of your in retrospect, not super crazy, which to see more information about the earnmore. I realize that while it is a strange choice and would bog down the movie unnecessarily,

your desire to learn more is merely, as I mentioned before, the movie acting upon you in the way it is meant to by making you curious about what's going to happen, much as the Jewish people are curious about many things. And so I apologize for making fun of you so much about that. Specific thing. And nothing else.

specific thing. And nothing else. Elliott, I would like to apologize to you. Okay, here comes the speech. For making our private argument so public. And I would like to say that even though we have differing opinions on drama-turgy, I still can't you one of my greatest friends Same here dancing do it We haven't talked to you yet I would like to apologize to you for that

I'd also like to apologize to you for getting so angry at you for your inability to respond to any of my emails. Tan. Tomorrow is Russia's honor. LAUGHTER Now, I would like to apologize about the love that your cat Archie clearly seems to have for me when I come in the room. He ignores you. In fact, pushes you out of the way to rush into my arms and try and stick his entire head up my nostril.

This is all accurate. I don't know what I did to bring that on. And for that, I'm sorry. Thank you, right? And Elliot, after you moved away, I'm sorry that I made a little tiny Elliot my apartment. And I yelled at it every time I was mad that you had moved away. I made it out of Play-Doh and Cat Hair and a fair amount of my spit.

And for that I'm sorry. I appreciate the apology and the news about that. Well, we've all been through something that would be a perfect way to end the show. We've got one more question. Hi, first name, Emma, last name, take your pick, Watson Stone, Thompson. Wow, okay, multiple choice, last name. Cool, that's the future. Very post-human, I like it.

So to circle back around to the wonderful presentation on Boston that you started with, I was wondering what your favorite movie set in the city of Boston is. Favorite Boston movie? So she referenced my presentation before the show, which was about beans in the movies, in honor of bean tanks.

Which is not technically about... None of those movies are about Boston. I love you wanna hear my thoughts on movies about Boston. Come to the late show. But so, I don't know, maybe... I mean, here's the thing. The thing is, there's a lot of movies are set in Boston and there's a lot of great movies set in Boston.

It is surprising that such a teeny-tiny, any-bitty, widower city has so many movies set in it, so many great movies. It's such a, we don't put it in your pocket, city. But I don't know this is a tough one, because like, you got movies like The Verdict is set in Boston, like Paper Chase is set in Boston. I got mine. Yeah.

I'm gonna say the book of Johnny Traumé. I mean, I think they made a movie of that at some point. Maybe. I'm Googling, so you're like Ben Affleck's movie. Yeah. Yeah. All right, Alex, it was like, is Ben and me the one about the mouse and Benjamin Franklin Boston,

no Philadelphia? So I'm gonna say the Friends and Benjamin Franklin Boston, no Philadelphia. So I'm gonna say the Friends of Eddie Coil, I think it's my favorite Boston movie. So, I love Old Robert Mitchum, he's so sad. Sure. Wow, I'm so excited. Dan, do you just want to name a,

no one's gonna tell you you're wrong? Uh. Unless you say like Ted too, I guess. I guess. But maybe that's your favorite. You know what, Dan? I'm criticizing your choices too much. If you want to say Ted II, go right ahead, and I will not judge. I think we can just go ahead and say, Dan loves Ted II. He loves Ted II.

Awesome movie. I'll say the department, which I remember, is said in Boston because that Goddamn dropkick Murphy song is played every five minutes. Sounds like you got some issues with that movie, Dan. No, it's good. It's good. And that's the show! Thank you very much for your questions, Jim.

Thank you very much for being here with us. Thank you, little baby. Thank you WDR C's, ladies. Thank you, Boston. Thank you for coming. Good night. And I thank you Boston, thank you for coming. Good night. And I thank you. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! wouldn't make it harder to believe. Uh, I mean, I have no memory. If you, if you play me a tape of myself talking, I'm going to be pretty credulous. I got to say, you know, if it sounds like me, I'll be like, oh, yeah, I probably did that. Oh, officer. That's why you're known as the credulous Hulk because of your buff bod and also that you'll believe anything.

Uh, well, that was, uh, that was our live episode of Alita and also that you'll believe anything. Well, that was our live episode of Alita Colin Battle Angel where we learned that Dan loves backstory. Do not love backstory. Shubble it into his mouth, all the backstory. Tell them about all the grandparents, the great-grandparents of the characters, all the stuff they did. He wants them at all.

How'd Han Solo get that jacket? He wants to know. Dan will clean that plate and then ask for more. And then ask you where the plate came from and he wants to go to the factory and watch them make it. The sand that this plate was made from. Which desert quarry was that mind from? Is that what you do with sand? Actually tell me the history of sand. Mind from is that what you do with sand actually tell me the history of sand Well, I hate it it gets in your butt Smoking like a true Jedi

So that was elite a battle angel. We hope that Everybody who's been listening has enjoyed it once again We remind you that you can still go to maximum fun dot org slash join Become a member if you're not already a member upgrade your membership. There's lots of great levels and things, but you heard all about it during the pledge drive. Come on, but we appreciate again any support you give if you happen to have a battle angel who maybe got some extra money in the roller combat ring. What did they do in this movie again? Maybe talk some of that money's our way. movie again. Maybe talk some of that money's our way.

And this show is as we mentioned is part of maximum fun, the maximum fun podcast network. There's plenty of other great shows just head over to maximumfund.org. It's produced by Jordan Cowling, who makes us sound much better than we are. You wouldn't want to hear the raw audio. Let me tell you. I guess much better the we are uh... you wouldn't want to hear the raw audio let me tell you uh... i guess that's better the pro audio i've been cookbook audio instead of raw audio get it that's kind of stuff to earn usually usually cuts out but you're leaving that joke and say a taste of the of the crap

that they're saved from uh... for the flop i was i've been dan McCoy. I've been Stewart. I've been Stewart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin, Battle Angel. That's right guys, I'm a Battle Angel. I can just call myself that right? Yep. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye!