The Flop House - Ep. #325 - Fantasy Island

Episode Date: October 10, 2020

It's here! It's here! It's here! Did you get us any SHOCKTOBER presents? We got YOU something -- a discussion of this year's Fantasy Island, the goofy horror (?) movie based on the decidedly NOT horror 1970's light fantasy television anthology.

On this episode we discuss Fantasy Island. You best start believing in Fantasy Island dear listeners, cuz you're in one! You're in an island. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flop. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And this is Elliot Kalen. Big energy. Wow. Hey, what time of year is it, Dan? It is, I was going to ask you. I looked at the calendar and lo and behold, Shaktober is here. It feels like it's earlier every year. The time when we celebrate scares and spooks and thrills and chills and kills. Oh wow.

Well, we'll find out. And sometimes the early Star Wars screenplay draft journal of the Wills. Yeah, it's our horror movie themed month unlike the early years of the flop house, which was every other movie was a horror movie. Well, watch what you know, that's what they say, right? Yep, that's exactly what they say.

Only partake in media that immediately fulfills your limited worldview is what they say, right? That's why the entirety of my entertainment is the CCTV feed inside my own house. Wow. Sounds boring. Would you file that if you were stocking that movie in a blockbuster video, where would you put it, Elliot? Yeah.

Sometimes in comedy, sometimes in adult. Oh, wow. Okay. I guess you can't be comedy all the time, you know. So, very rarely in documentary, which is ironic. Are you watching? Are you watching the feed while it's adults? Because I would argue you need to, you should probably be paying more attention to, you know, the matter at hand at that point. Well, no, I'm a 21st century millennial, so I live my life through screens. So I don't actually know if I'm being intimate with another human, unless I'm seeing it happen through a screen at the same time.

That's fair enough. Okay, well, very Patrick Bateman way of approaching life. Yeah, exactly. I saw American Psycho and I was like, yes, this guy understands. It's not his body that's experiencing these things and matters, it's the reflection of himself that other people can see that matters

and he we lose and the news is great uh... fair enough this is where patrick and i split ways alexa play he we lose and the news sports that's a bit jessey but uh... let's uh... let's uh... i realize it i only explained one half which is what we do this month but not overall which is that we watch a bad movie and we talk about it or you know a presumed bad movie we we we we we like to make up our

own mind uh... yeah we're not shippled and so shot over his hard movies right and and in this case we watched a movie that was critically panned but financially quite successful it was a hit and uh... i think it but like this is we watch fantasy island and i think it's a blunt house release and i think it's uh instructive maybe to say a few words about blunt house off off the top because i feel like modern horror is kind of split into the blunt house thing or the h-24 thing and h-24 is you know mostly all prestige all the time, slow burn horror movies. Imagine a trailer with stark imagery, doll houses, winter, sparse strings accompany these

images. Heavy atmosphere. The A and A24 stands for atmosphere and 24 is the amount of atmosphere, which is roughly equal to the surface of Venus. Yes. And Blumhouse films, they sort of, they've become very successful. They started out with like, with a couple of franchises that were hugely successful, like Paranormal Activity and the purge were big for them.

And you know, these are movies that are sort of like a lot of their movies are based on a hook and they've moved into more prestige or not the movie hook no not the movie look although that is a horror movie in many ways about what about candy man candy man has a hook another hook man's dog have a hook. Another hook, Katie Mayn's daughter moving. Katie Mayn's daughter moving. I have a hook. What about Doctor Hook? Doctor Hook, yeah. Is that a musician, Doctor Hook? Oh, okay. I'm not aware of the hook by Blues Traveler.

Yeah, or the, yeah, it does bring you back. Anyway, continue. Blumhouse is more the, the, the, the more the William Castle type. Hey, we're gonna have a crazy idea. Like, it's different. Yeah, they're more the fun. I mean, like, they have, they've gotten into more prestige or movies like they released uh... get

out but that's also like a glossy horror movie that even though it's taking on serious issues is more of like you're still gonna have like a fun like ride watching it as well and uh... den McCoy raves about get out a fun ride well i don't want to i don't want to be just not to say I don't want to be missed it all the time But it is like yeah, it is like check your brain at the door is Dan McCoy

It is both as I said both dealing with serious issues and a fun enjoyable movie to watch in the way and But like they do a lot of silly stuff they did Happy death day which I enjoyed a lot, but they also do like dumb things that are based on, oh, like truth or dare, for instance, which we watched for Shoktober in the past. And now we're watching, we watched Famous The Island,

which of course, yeah, you're, or whiplash. Yeah. Famous The Island is also a Blumhouse production. I feel like Blumhouse also, I don't mean to, I haven't checked all the budgets, but I feel like they have a tendency to do pretty small budget movies with the hope of a big return.

Like horror, horror as a genre generally has been that in the past, right? Where you can make a movie fairly cheaply and if you get a hit, you make a ton of money back. And I feel like that's the Blumhouse model. Har has long been probably the second most profitable type of movie based on original investment, after pornography, which is, but it's been that way

for 70 years or so. And Blumhouse has been right in that wave. Yeah, and they do a pretty good job of it. And this is another high concept horror movie from them wherein they take the, you know, the 70s light fantasy drama, television drama, fantasy island. And they have turned it into a horror movie with a sinister twist.

Now, were you guys fans of the original television show that was based on? I only know it culturally. Like, I know references to it. I don't know the other. So, you know, the CLN is a little before my time. I was a baby when it ended, or as I was three years old and it ended.

I've only ever seen one episode of it, which I saw in syndication, which involved, the only fantasies I remember from, are Don Adams from Get Smart was one of the guest stars. And he had a fantasy of one of not the cartoonist not the Don Martin. Yeah, that's not Don Martin not not Mr. Flemme You should feel that way you should feel that way I'm glad you feel that way right now. Oh my god It was Don Adams don't let it out don't leave it in I need I need no

No, yes, do it needs to take his lumps Yeah, if I've been saying it for a long, no, yes. Stuart needs to take his lumps. If I've been saying it for a long time, Stuart's finally going to get his, when he gets his dons mixed up. But, and it's not dons the diner from my hometown that he's good at. That would eventually close down. So, Don Adams, his fantasy was to be a World War I pilot, and he just walked through a door and was one.

And it was kind of goofy. Like, that was supposed to be a goofy thing, because he's done that. And he's like, a door and was one. And it was kind of goofy, like it was supposed to be a goofy thing because he's done that. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. It was like kind of a run-through for Inspector Gadget in some ways. The other fantasy was that an old woman who was played by a young woman in makeup, and I don't remember this guest star. Because the idea of fantasy island was that guest stars would show up as characters

and magically live out their fantasies from a magic wishing well. Her fantasy was that she would be young again for a day so she could have sex again with a man. And that was... It was so... I think they couched it in terms of love, but it was very clearly like... She wants to be young again for a day so that she can be with men... For as many men as possible in this day. And she does. They give her some kind of potion and the old age makeup comes off and... She's just romancing dudes now

The other thing I remember is don is daffy ducks fantasy island. Yes, I remember that Repack movie. Yeah, and was that daffy ducks fantasy as well Becoming young again and romance some dudes. Yes, exactly. It was it was daffy ducks fantasy to be young Which is crazy because he's already a cartoon duck. He's eternally young, and to finally get with bugs. And it was pretty tender. The scene is very tender, and the saddest part is when bugs and daffy are, they're lying with each other in the acticalo, and daffy realizes that he finally achieved his fantasy, but that's all it's ever going to be, and bugs money kind of disappears in his arms, and daffy runs into bugs the next day at work, and bugs are like, what's wrong, daffy? And da Daffy's like I got my dream come true and it's just like

a bigger sweet moment. So that was actually very weird. I never really got that that like you know vibe from those two guys that they had feelings for each other but I guess that's a subtext that I just didn't pick up on as a kid. I mean it's that's kind of showsy that sometimes depending on how old you are your life experiences you experience things differently Well, depends on the lane to instructor in fris free links cartoons. They were super straight in Chuck Jones cartoons They work clearly into each other. Yeah So let's let's talk about Blum out there to see I once do okay, so Yeah, let's I'm gonna be driving this car in order to do that. I need to pull up my notes now

I do have to point out that when I pull up my notes, luckily it's going to hide the Skype screen so I don't have to be constantly distracted that Dan and Elliot are wearing the exact same t-shirt. They are very similar. They're similar. I would say. I would say exactly the same size and everything. I've got a V-neck. This is a crew neck. Elliot Stripes are fatter. I've got like fan white stripes. Yeah, that is the two types of podcaster. Yeah, we got, we got, we got both that blue and white horizontal stripes on.

Yeah. So we open on an island resort where a woman is running in terror. She runs into the, what seems to be like the office of this island resort. She is frightened and she is worried that she has been abducted by some masked goons and she picks up the phone and the person on the other end tries to reassure her but then knows her name. So that's, you know, that sticks the knife in a little bit,

not literally, you know, figuratively. And the goons show up, drag her away, and we see on the desk a name placard, Mr. Rorke. Uh-oh. That's Mr. Rorke from the TV show of the same name played famously by Ricardo Montobon. What? The TV show, Fantasy Island. The same name as the movie, not the same, the TV show isn't called mr. rork it wasn't called mr. or it could have been

so uh... and he was played by a record of all the montle bond in the uh... TV show uh... as you will see later not the movie so uh... later or earlier we don't know that i'm glad you pointed that out that they didn't re-enimate record of a lot of i'm yeah so later earlier uh... you know it's not super clear. We are at the same island. It is daytime. A plane is arriving, bearing, what is it? Four, five, five attractive 30-somethings, who have won a VIP contest to be guests at Fantasy Island. that's the official name, a mysterious island resort that is, you know, is rumored about, talked about on the internet where you can get your wildest dreams can come true.

The resort appears to be like a fairly normal upscale island resort. It's a little overstaffed, it's a little over decorated, but it also feels oddly empty at times. You know, it's that kind of, it's going for that perfect sweet spot. Yeah, I know you're in here. Keep reviewing it. Keep reviewing it still. I know you're full review of the resort. How do the cocktails that they talk a lot about later look? What do you think about that? They talk, I would say they look pretty delicious. I would imagine they're overpriced, but it could be all inclusive.

I don't really cover it since they want a contest to be here. So I'm guessing everything. Is they what did they win a contest? Is that how it was explained? Because I missed that part and then there's like later revelations where I'm like, well, how do these people know about fantasy island? But uh, well, yeah, they want a contest. I'm guessing they, uh, I'm sure they mentioned it at the beginning where they like I don't know like hit like on an Instagram or something and Everybody and then like a letter came in the mail or came in their inbox. I don't know. I don't know It was the old hit the monkey pop up bad So we are introduced to our cast of characters. We have a pair of brothers who are also kind of bros

played by Ryan Hanson and Jimmy O jimmy o yang they are jade and bracks now you might recognize uh... now ryan hansson of course uh... was dick kassa blanca's on ryan and kamaars he's also party down playing kind of a similar to this and uh... jimmy yang uh... is uh... uh... he's from silicon valley is probably where most people might know him. Yeah, I think he's a stand-up. And also the two of them played, the two of them played like business partners in another movie recently. So I guess they're just on a

hot street. Yeah, they were in what like a boss I think was in the movie. Now what kind of name is Brax? I don't know. They keep calling him Brax and I'm like, so is he a GI Joe bad guy? Like what's going on? I don't understand. I've never heard the name Brax before. Well, his brother keeps calling him T, which will turn out to be called

a significant later on. It's a real mystery. Yeah, I think he calls him T. I mean, I don't want to spoil anything, but I also don't remember the movie I'm assuming he's calling him tea because he got that liar liar disease where he can only tell the truth Later on okay, so Audiences listeners write down your guess. Why does he call him tea in this fantasy island reboot and you'll find out in the middle of the show

Whether you're right or not. So we also have Melanie played by resident pretty little liar Lucy Hale and she's kind of like a damaged mysterious young woman. We have Gwen played by Maggie Q who is kind of regretful and skeptical. And then we have Patrick, who is a cop who wants to be a soldier, played by Austin Stowell. Now this is, we have a couple of Flop House doubles here. This is, because we did live free or die hard, right? Maybe we do that. Oh no, we did a good day to die hard.

Never mind, so she's not a Flop House double, but the director of this movie did direct Truth or Dare. Yeah, which I believe also had Lucy Hale in it. I'm not sure about that, but I think that she is in the well-maps stable. Yes, she was in it. So this is so Lucy Hale and the director, Jeff Wadlow. I wonder if he's related to Robert Wadlow,

the tallest man in recorded history, eight foot 11 and a half inches tall. But I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, but in my notes. So you could be right. I'm going to do some research on that, but there's some flat-house repeats.

Yeah. So we get to introduce to our gang, and then hiding off in the bushes, that's right. There's an extra person on this island that's Michael Rooker. And I was like, hell yeah, Michael Rooker's in this. He's not in a much of those. So every scant,ael rook her moment is a treat for you

hold on to those clutch them close to your chest it's a uh... every has a michael rook her moment yeah the the they talk a little bit about the island is there being you know like ushered around by uh... island uh... by the uh... resort staff uh... that the island supposedly uh... hold on a second sorry i had to say we have another double because i forgot that ryan hansson is also in the friday the thirteenth remake

which we did will have us okay well that was worth the interruptions the uh... the island promises a unique fantasy experience tailored to each guest uh... they are all immediately skeptical, particularly Gwen, and then she looks in a mirror and sees a ghost. So I guess that's what her fantasy is.

If Halley was on fantasy islands, then she would be like, I did it. I saw a ghost time to go home. Yeah, time to take that plane with the little inflatable things on the feet back I think it's just called a high plane. They're not called planes with inflatable feet I don't think they're inflatable the plane. They're inflatable. How does it float? Elliot? They're just hollow What like not everything that floats is inflatable, but is there air in there? Yes?

Pantoon is that what it is? A pontoon? Yeah, let's call it a pontoon. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, we get all these characters kind of sketched out. They talk about, they're all like speculating as to how the island is going to achieve their fantasies, somebody suggests larping. And you know what? Larping's pretty cool, guys.

I would have to say that in the last year or two probably the two most rewarding Gaming experiences I've personally had were involved in larps. I mean, this was obviously pre-covid man. Yeah, larping all about it. Okay, so One other thing that we learn about this island. You don't tip the wait staff Yeah, you don't tip the wait. I mean, that's that's not that big of a surprise for an all-inclusive place, Elliot. I mean, it certainly isn't worth mentioning in your review of Fantasy Island. Not the movie I'm talking about the place. No, no, when I write it up on you up, I'm going to mention that I was made to feel a little uncomfortable when my attendant at the hotel, when my, what are they called? The guys help you with your back. When Bellhub? Bellhub, thank you. I mean, they didn't really have a bell and they didn't hop, so it's not a great name.

But when the bellhub said, no, we don't accept tips. He said it with that kind of condescending like, ugh, don't give me money. And I was, I would write an up and review how is offended by that. We just arrived on this island, guys. Let's keep moving. Sure. Yep. So the host, the guy who runs this place, Mr. Rorck shows up and at this point everybody is like,

oh man, something bad happened in his office earlier. That's right. Now Mr. Rorck is played by Michael Pena, a performer who normally has quite a bit of charisma. Here he has decided to forget it. Wow. Wow. It's, I mean, it's,

Michael Pena is a great actor, but I feel like they had him play it down, which seems strange because like I mean, you're inevitably going to compare him to a performer like Ricardo Montobon who let's generally place it fairly big Yeah, well, they're telling him I think to play it mysterious Yeah, and Ricardo Montobon was literally providing good fantasies to people So he didn't have to pretend that he had secrets to hold on to. That's true. I mean, but even those good fantasies,

part of the whole idea of that show was that they would introduce, they would give you your fantasy and then you'd realize, oh, maybe that wasn't what I wanted after all. Yes, so there was kind of a dark side. So it wasn't, you know, whatever. So Mr. Workshows up explains that they are going to experience their fantasy after a good night's rest, but not so fast. And heows up explains that they are going to experience their fantasy after good nights rest but not so fast

And he takes JD and Brax off right away and takes them to a crazy party at like a separate beach house That's kind of like the MTV Beach House There's like jet ski stunts and they kind of just enjoy this fantasy their fantasy seems to be about being like rich and famous Yeah, I don't know this I can't remember They said that they're doing an idea. The fantasy was to have it all. And so I guess to have it all means they just have like a mansion with a pool with a bunch of attractive people around.

And they like smoke pot. And there's a DJ and stuff. And and and Drax they make a point like. Good. Brax. Sorry. Drax is from another planet. Brax, they, uh, Brax's gay, which is, uh,

reiterated several times. Uh, it, the, the main way that they, like, make this a thing is by just saying it a lot. Uh, which is fine. Like, I don't need it to, like, it's never, like, it's never a punchline, which surprised me. No, no, I, I was gonna say it's like other than, like, I don't need him to like... But it's never a punchline, which surprised me. No, no, I was gonna say it's like other than like addressing it in like the most like straightforwardly obvious way, like I kind of like these two characters in their relationship. Like, this very broy guy, like loves his brother so much is totally accepting of them.

They're best friends. They carry good vibes around them. They're a little dumb. Their fantasy is a little basic, but they're good guys. But we also over time we learn that they have a difficult family life and that their parents have basically disowned brx because of his sexuality. Yeah. And that deep down there's a feeling of,

I think there's a little bit of resentment that JD has that Brax is holding him back, or I could be mixing up who's being held back by whom. So there is a little bit of a dark side behind this glossy exterior. It's also possible that they got the fantasy wrong because if they said your fantasy is to have it all, maybe they just meant a satisfying career

and a fulfilling family life. What's that like, Elliot? I'll tell you when I get it. Oh, cool. Yeah, I think you need to watch a live movie called Baby Boom. I don't want to watch a movie about exploding baby's in.

It sounds terrifying. I, however want to watch a movie about exploding baby's in. That sounds terrifying. Hi, however, would sit in the movie theater right now, COVID-be damned to watch babies explode. Wow. Yeah, I would mask off and everything. I want to experience the whole exploding baby experience, because it's going to be 4D, right, Ellie? I mean, it's got to be 4D because it has depth

with and height and time. So yeah, it's a 4D movie. Perfect. So on to the next fantasy. Mr. Rork interviews Gwen to get kind of a better understanding of her fantasy. She says she wants a do-over. She has regrets. She wishes she had a family. So what he offers her is he takes her back in time to a restaurant where she had been proposed to

by her then boyfriend, Alan, and at the time she had turned him down, but this time she can choose whether or not she wants a do-over. Yeah. And she's skeptical the whole time, and it is like, this is the first time where the island actually gets like Magical yes, because they go through a doorway and then they're immediately in a I would say a

What looks to be like a medium expensive restaurant? Upper midrange. Yeah, I would that's what I offer midrange. Yeah Uh, upper mid range, yeah. That's what it is. Oh, yeah, upper mid range, yeah. Um, and, yeah. Not a greasy spoon. So, so she's gonna have this fantasy. She talks to Alan.

She realizes that she messed up and that she, this time when he proposes to her. You know, it takes her a little while to accept that she's like, this is actually happening and he's not like an actor and that he wasn't like trick or whatever and that he's the same age he was when he proposed to her years ago, I guess it was five years ago. And they, so she accepts his proposal,

they're very happy. And when she wakes up in the morning, not only is it five years later, and Alan has aged exactly five years, but they also have a daughter. She has everything she wanted. Now, I finally, there are a couple of things I wanna say about these. these she has it all her fantasy to have it all came true

that yeah there are couple things that i wanted to say about this number one like wouldn't white white white number one the thing is uh... that um... this is one of those things in movies that happens a lot where everyone displeases where fantasy island makes someone's dream come true. Yes. No, where everyone disbelieves the magic for a long time. And the thing is, if you were in that situation,

if you were in that situation, you certainly would. You would be like, OK, wait, there's no way I'm back in time. This must be Alan. They flew them out. They go through that whole thing. So you have to be kind of patient with that. But you as a moviegoer is like, no, I'm coming to see fucking fantasy island. I know that this is a magic island. Let's just get on with it. Yeah. And also like when she wakes up at

the second morning, I'm like, okay, well, this is great and I understand why I have to do this for plot reasons, but she had to skip both her wedding and the birth of her child. And this. When she sees her, I think at one point, she looks at her phone and then she like experiences all, she looks at her phone and there's a whole bunch of pictures from all of those experiences on there. But the weird thing is as soon as she looks at a picture, we then get like a video flashback

and I'm like, is that a video on her phone? Where is that going on in her brain? It must be a video on the phone because it has a filter on it that makes it look like it's from the 70s. And that's not when this is happening. So why have her memories look like that? It's an old story of the memories kind of flooding into her mind in that moment. All in one, in that moment, she has always lived that life and so she's remembering all of it

The same way that someone would tell you that since dinosaurs are just a trick to try to get us to not believe in the existence of God That when God created the earth he created a fake past for the earth that had real fake dinosaurs in it and so forth It's kind of like that It's kind of like how we when we used to record episodes I would get so drunk that I would listen to the episode and then I would have The memories of recording it would flood back into my brain. See that happens to me now anyway Like yeah without the booze. I'm like what we said that It's it but this reminding me a lot of these the end of time cop where time cop comes home and has a wife and child and he's like

I better know I better learn this kid's name quick. Yeah, I mean, I figured he'd just keep doing those jumping splits and people wouldn't really worry about. It's just straxed. Man, those fucking splits man. I just call this his kid like cheeks and those little shorts he's wearing. It just calls his kid cheap or sport.

And it's like, do you know my name, dad? Jump split, look at this. Oh, and his wife is like, can you please keep your dirty feet off the kitchen counters? I know you can do those jump splits. And then finally, it's his son's wedding day. And he has to give the toast. And he's like, to my wonderful son.

And he realizes that moment he's never known his son's name and his son realizes that moment that his dad's never known his name name and there's only one thing he can do is a jump split. Can you do it? It's 20 years later. His child's getting married. Can you pull it off? Let me tell you. He's JC Fede, so of course he can.

And you see that you see that full realization on his son's face, a son that is still at this point in this bit unnamed. A son who realizes his father doesn't know his name and he goes through the full well of emotion until he realizes his father's just going to do jump splits. And you know what, God damn it, he wants to see those jump splits. He still wants his dad to win.

Sometimes all you can get from your dad, it can't be love, it can't be acknowledgement, but you can get jump splits. And sometimes, just sometimes, that's enough. Hi, I'm Emily Caelan for the Jump Split Council. You know, most Americans go through their lives never witnessing a jump split in person or experiencing a jump split.

Maybe, maybe we can make a difference. Now that we've talked about jump splits, although that has nothing to do with Gwen's fantasy, we're now on to Patrick's fantasy. Patrick is a police officer whose fantasy has always been to be a soldier He wears seems like a not uncommon fantasy for police officers these days a little on the nose fantasy So he and he even wears a pair of dog tags around his neck And he is taken away. He's whisked away by Mr. Rourke,

and taken to the jungle where he has given a pack of supplies, and he gets to live out his fantasy of being a soldier. He is immediately accosted by a wild haired Michael Rooker, who spouts some gibberish and then runs off, and you're like, no, come back! Yeah! Y'all turn. And then... Henry. He's a... yeah, he's back. And then Henry. He's a guy from Slyther. So he grants, I think. Grant was his

name in Slyther. Anyway, let's go. He then gets picked up by a squad of soldiers who don't seem to be playing around and they, I guess, kidnapped him, captured him and take him to another group of soldiers led by a lieutenant, and that lieutenant we find out is his father, a father that died when he was very young. And there's a lot of the two of them kind of, it takes ungodly long for the two of them to figure out this is what's going on. He's his son years later. His father died on this very specific mission in Venezuela. It took me a little while to figure out where they were going to be at. But like, do they are these, it's still at this point, I don't really understand are these all actors are they made out of like mud and the black oil that I'm gonna talk about later like I don't know what's going on

So it's a fantasy island Stewart. I'm your island with fantasies so In island with fantasies is a different thing that's like but it's like that Picks our short lava or whatever where the island is passing about having, you know, a romantic partner. I guess you're right, that's the difference between a fantasy island and an island fantasy.

Yeah, yeah. So Patrick at this point is starting to realize there might be a dark side to being a soldier. So we're gonna move on to... Do you like, I should have gone to temptation islands. Yeah, we're gonna move on to our, the problem is his temptation is also to go be a soldier because he's a police officer.

So, there are all these couples trying to hook up with each other on temptation island and he's like putting them in head locks and interrogating them and stuff and they're like, stop it, stop. So, we then move to our fourth fantasy and that is Melanie, who goes down an elevator, already you're like, what kind of fantasy is this? And she goes down and she's in like a control room, and there's, she finds behind the control of there's like mirrored glass, and the lights come on, and she sees her childhood tormentor

who we had learned in a briefiest bit of exposition, a childhood tormentor who had found her, like, letters she had written to her therapist, and then published those letters, burn book style, all over the school, this ruining her life. Well, that close, close, close. It was close. No, she, well, this bully had tormented her

in a number of ways, including dumping toilet water on her during the program. I'm not really sure how that was done. I think it seemed like collecting toilet water to dump on someone in his own punishment. But then... You take Dan, you take a bucket, you take a ladle, you go from toilet to toilet.

It's not that difficult. I don't want to put that much effort into it. I think you will, you pay a plumber to redirect the waste pipe above a specific spot you mark that spot with an X or maybe Like a picture of a toilet, but then make sure that he puts a valve in there too So you can control the opening and closing of it So it only goes on the person you want it to go on yes step two rigging the prom queen

Election now this is more difficult and the plumber was not going to help you that much. Yeah, you've got to need to get William cat to help you do that. No, the other thing was though her therapist told her to write letters to her classmates telling them like what she wanted to say to them because she felt so isolated and then these were found and posted and like her she also hated her therapist because it's like he was I Forget how he was bad, but he was also awful and she called him dr. Torture for summaries. Yeah, huh? so She was just his name like Victor Von Doom. Maybe he was just dr. Victor torture. So Melanie enters this control room. She

This is one of my favorite parts of the movie. When she pulls out her phone, she's like, gonna record this. She starts talking to her phone. And then the middle of her narration, she then hits record on her phone. So was she recording before that? Or did she just start her video? Yeah.

What the fuck are you doing? That is listed on the Goofs section of IMDB, I found. Yeah. I rushed over there first, so I could be like, I must be the first person to have noticed this flub, and then I was disappointed to find out I was not. Yeah, off to the game, that's me. Also, later on, as we will see in the synopsis,

she will be running around with this bully, and the big tension is whether the bully will find out that she was the tormentor and I felt for sure, like, oh, okay, she took that video, that has to be a plot point, right? Like the bully's gonna see this video and like the video is not figuring anything. So.

No, it just shows, it's a way for people to connect with Melanie because they're like, I like making videos. I'm a tour mentor. Yeah. But not the song by Skinny Puppy, which rules. So she immediately assumes that this woman that is tied up behind a glass played by Porsche Double Day. I don't remember her name.

That she's a hologram. She's talking about us. That's what I think is her name. Yeah, she keeps talking about how she's a great hologram, which I don't remember her name, that she's a hologram. She's talking about- I keep talking about it. Yeah, she keeps talking about how she's a great hologram, which I guess that feels like a leap. I mean, I would just assume the whole glass was a scream. I mean, especially after she does the first thing, which is push a button and dumps some toilet water on her,

because the water would go right through a hologram. I don't know. I don't know a lot about water. I'm not a fan. I don't know a lot about water. I didn lot of water. I'm not a fan. But I didn't know that. A lot of water. I didn't know that. Oh, it's a hologram. They can make hologram water now. I see.

Because you remember the thing, they mentioned a couple times the hologram of two-pock that appeared at what the Vatican, at the College of Cardinals, and they poured hologram toilet water on that hologram also. Yeah, it seems just disrespectful. So she decides the torture of this hologram. She uses, so she decides the torture this hologram, she uses electricity, there's shock things and the little shockers in the armrests. She pours toilet water all over and then she gets the opportunity to post a damning video on Sloan's Facebook. And then she gets to watch Sloan's husband

watch this video of Sloan cheating. It's pretty wild. And that's when she realizes, you know what? Maybe getting revenge like this is not cool and this isn't a hologram. Maybe my actions actually have consequences. So we're really, this is really leaning in. This almost immediately goes into,

this fantasy is actually bad. This fantasy is a nightmare. And around then is when. The movie takes a pretty harsh fantasies of torturing people are bad. Yep. Perspective. So the door in Sloan's room bursts open,

and we see a guy, well, we see Dr. Torture show up, he's like a doctor with his sleeves ripped off. He looks like the dude who runs around the stage had an exhumed concert. And it was like an 80s WF one-off character. It is 100%. Let's try this guy. He's Dr. Torture and he knows all of,

he's got an MD in pain and then decided, he doesn't work, never mind, forget it. Yeah. So, and it looks like he's going to torture Sloan and then Melanie uses the previously established shocking thing and water to electrocute Dr. Torture and incapacitate him for the time being. And then she breaks Sloan free.

She comes up with a ruse that they are. She has been kidnapped as well. And just to remind everybody that Sloan was the woman who was running in terror at the very beginning of the movie. It took me a little while to find out. Oh, nice, smart. I immediately forget what happens in those, like, sort of, prelude scenes in this sort of movie. I'm not particularly interested in scenes in this sort of movie. I'm not particularly interested in puzzling together the complex web of fantasy island. I'm just like, oh, that's not important. Someone was running. Yeah, the two pieces of this puzzle. Yeah. Yeah.

Something like, when we're watching Get Out Together Dan, I leaned over and I'm like, that's the guy from the beginning. That's Lequitte Stanfield. He's very famous now. Yeah. Okay, so now let's see. Yeah, now so at this point all the fantasies start to take a dark turn. Brax and JD, they're hanging out at their beach house with then all of a sudden like a bunch of mercenaries show up,

wearing masks and guns, and they start just blasting everybody. Mercenaries are led by Kim Coates from Suns of Anarchy. It's nice to see him getting some work. And they get captured. They had previously found in a sca- what is it?

Not a scaperum, although, you know, it kind of is an escape room. They find a panic room, and they find a room with hidden weapons in their amazing villa All their their models that they were partying with go hide in the panic room But they get left outside and they get they start to get Interrogated by these mercenaries and they their friendship I guess is tested These mercenaries think that they're like, they've hidden money in drugs because they have it all

because this mansion is a drug mansion, at which point, Audrey, who has an inexplicable to me love of the Brendan Frazier version of Bedazzled, was like, they still lose from Bedazzled, where you wish this to be rich, and it turns out he's rich because he's a drug lord. Uh-oh. the dazzled was like they still lose from bedazzled where you like wishes to be rich and it turns out he's rich because he's a drug lord. Uh oh.

Oh yeah. Yeah. It's a great cosmic scale, you know, that's how, that's how everything balances. If you want something, you're taking something from someone else that is, it is a zero sum game in this world, baby. That's capitalism. The, it's, the, they're saying this, this mansion belongs to a big drug lord. You must have killed him and stolen it.

And it just seems like a real loose reading of their fantasy to have it go that way, much like the bedazzled wish. It seems like Mr. Rorck or the island, whoever makes the decisions, is really taking the gray area of that fantasy and filling it in with things that he knows they are not going to be interested in. Yeah. So when I was a question about Suns of Anarchy, I didn't see that show, but did it end with the main character having a baby and then being like, I guess, I'm a dad of Anarchy now.

And putting his bike in the garage because he has responsibilities now. Hellay, I mean, Wall family plays an incredibly large part in the Suns of Anarchy universe. That show has one of the dumbest endings of all time. It does feature multiple like slow versions of classic rock songs, some of which are sung by by married with children alum. What's your name? Katie's a go. Katie's a go. Thank you. Oh wow. A wife of the showrunner kurt ceter and uh... it has oh god so it's like and they'll have fun fun fun till her daddy takes her

team yes exactly fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun till her daddy takes her team yes exactly fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun till her daddy takes her team yes exactly fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun till her daddy takes her team yes exactly fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun till her daddy takes her team yes exactly fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun Hamlet. Oh, it's like a hamlet on bikes. It's like a hamlet on bikes. Which I would see they're going around the seal cage of death on their bikes and they're doing hamlet. Well, that's the beauty of life theater, you know? It's not I guess that's beyond the pines. No, I think about it. Oh, it can't place me on the pines yet. Yeah. Um, okay, so that's the beauty of life theater. Before we get back. At any moment, they can get on a bike and drive around. And only Rob Halford is really taking advantage of that aspect of life theater, to be honest.

I feel like Meatloaf at his show, I think Charlene went and saw a bad out of hell the musical. And I feel like there's at least one motorcycle unfold. Okay, so they're taking advantage of it too. But Edward Albion's work're taking advantage of it too, but Edward Albion's work never took advantage of the fact that the actors at any point can get on a motorcycle and just get into a steel cage of death and drive around.

Yeah, that's, I mean, that option's available to us all. So, I mean, when you get on the stage, you got the light sitting in the face and you're like, you know what, time to get in that steel cage of death. So, before we get back to the individual fantasies, there's a commonality between all of them that kind of signifies that there's something dark going on. There's like a constant sound of dripping

or then like this like kind of black liquid and we keep seeing like a ghostly visitor that shows up that looks like a burned up zombie dude. Now, and that's obviously those are things that you would assume not what somebody's looking for that I want it all. And I wanna, I wanna just, Mr. Work is like you said you want it all

and a burned up zombie dude technically is one of the things in all. I guess you're right. Okay, you have chicken pox now Technically part of the all now right. Yeah, I have it all up and a club foot. Okay. Yes. Thank you all But you have a hundred dollars. That's it. Well, you have other dollars too, but you also have a hundred dollars part of all Okay, great termites. Did I mention your house as termites? It all fits under all So your thing is so all for for this fantasy is sort of like

catamari domicie sort of a situation where everything in the universe has been rolled up and you exactly in handed. And your dad's mean to you. No, but I wanted to I know I know Stewart that you are against jumping back, but I do want to highlight something that but but pro kissing himself okay against jumping back but pro kissing i wanted to highlight a thing that will become significant later i don't want to spoil any

uh... turns of the plot ahead of time but melanie uh... when she's setting up a room has a framed photo of herself in a man that she has brought to the island even though this is a time in history where people have photos on their phones don't need to pack an entire framed photo to take out and put in your hotel room as if to say the audience this is significant but I just wanted to mention it. Do you don't do that when you go on vacation? Just whenever I go on vacation,

I always pull out my frame photo of me and you guys. Oh. Yeah. It's like having us there. Yeah. I guess I pick, I pull out that frame photo of me and a guy and a minion's outfit and I put it up on the. I pull out a frame photo, but it's the photo

that came with the frame and I'm just like, who are these people? Time to find out that's my fantasy. Yeah. So let's get back to these fantasies. So Melanie and Sloan are running away from this torture doctor. He keeps jumping out no matter how many times they blast him.

He just keeps coming back. Everyone's like when they knock him down like black oil, squirts out of his eyeballs and then he shows up later. Just like the jungle one the song, they knock him down black oil, squirts out of his eyeballs and then he shows up later. Just like the jungle on the song they knock him down black oil squirts out of his eyeballs he gets back up again. Yeah. Yeah.

They get rescued by Michael Rooker. Michael Rooker helps them beat up the doctor and the doctor and they keep running away. He tries to explain the rules. They end up like he takes them to a cave and like he is kind of not giving me the vibes of a person I would follow into a cave, but whatever. So he takes him into a cave and- So it's just to, so I know in case everyone you get to see what vibes would allow you

to follow someone into a cave. I mean, first off, I guess I want somebody who's a good listener first and not like, doesn't just kind of steamroll over me in conversations. Somebody who kind of wants to know what's going on with Stuart. I say. Other than that, like obviously, I'd need to see his hands because like fingernail care

is a real good signifier of just general personal hygiene. Huh. We, I feel like that was a real leap down from like, you know, good listeners of fingernail care. Like, no, but that's a thing, Dan. It's like, it's a little thing, but it shows a lot about a person's general hygiene and well-being.

So for you, it's sort of like the writer where like, you know, like no brown M&Ms, where if you like see that that wasn't done, you know that something else, somewhere else has not been taken care of. Yeah, that goes into the uh oh column. Yeah, all right. And you get too many things in the uh oh column

and it's, uh, I spin around on my heels and walk away from the cave. And what's the other column called? Yes, please. Yes. Yes. Only two columns. You only need those two. So they go down in this cave. He takes them under some like they have to go through some water. You know, it's got all the stuff. They see zombies some more. It's what you'd imagine inside of you. There's a quiz nose, everything. Yeah. Again, like Katamar.

Eventually, he takes them to, what looks like a big room with a giant, like a giant crystal wrapped in tree roots and then squirting out that black oil stuff, it totally looks like something that you would have to attack in a video game to get to the next section of the thing, you know, like something that like, I'm surprised it didn't have a health bar

when they walked into the room. It's a real Metroid boss. It's like what you find Metroid. He explains that this stone or crystal or whatever is powering everybody's fantasies. There's magic. He was a journalist or a private investigator who came to this island to try to investigate it,

but he got his fantasy, but he realized it was bad, but he can't leave, because Rorck knows what's going on as in charge of the island, and they can't leave. So they come up with the plan that the only thing they can do is to like take some of the, take some of that oil, put it in a, which has properties that once you drink it, your fantasies come true. I guess that's the magic, that's where the magic's coming from. And that's where the magic happens is the you after you drink it. So they luckily had a canteen, they fill that thing

with that juice and they're like, we gotta get this off the island, that's the plan, everybody. Meanwhile, did I miss anything or did I get it 100% correct? Yeah, that's it. For like future developments, have we gotten to the point yet? Have we skimmed over the point where like we learned

that Mr. Rorke has a dead wife and that's why he is on fantasy island because he wanted his wife to come back. And we don't like, no one like upon learning this asked to be like, oh, where is she? Because then like that would ruin the surprise later on about what's going on. But he is tied to the island cause it's one of those situations

where if he leaves the island, his wife will be gone forever. And so he's taking the job of Shup care taker like the island doesn't really need him to take care of the island I assume he's just taking care of the island's buildings because the island seems to do it is doing without him I mean the island can't get on the internet Elliot and advertise it to like you know people out there So you're saying that he has social media marketing and web skills, and that's why.

He's like in a bad place. But it's one of those mysteries where they're like, the fantasy, my fantasy was to have my wife back. I won't mention that there's only one woman on the island. And so if you're an audience member, you assume this is my wife. We'll just not mention that at all. But yeah, but yeah, Stuart, you got to, and so Stuart,

the only thing I think could- Yeah, and that came out when he had a heart to heart with Gwen, who is kind of, I guess there's this moment of like, she's, even though she has it all, as we've already addressed, a husband, a child, she still like measles, Matchbox cars, it has it all. Matchbox 20. Matchbox 20, the whole band,

I mean, you be 4311, every band with a number in it, and also every band. The Beatles, the Ruttles, all of us, everything. The Turtles, the Animals, the Birds, the bangles, the gogos. Is there a band called the Spanglers? If there is, she has it.

The misfits, all of them. The Jackson's, all of it, yeah. The cramps. Sorry, I got it. She has both the lady A, who was called Lady A first, and the lady A that was called Lady Antebellum, and then sued the person who's already called Lady A when they changed her name Which is crazy that you would do that all right?

She's got all of Kurt Monegates novels all of Joseph Heller's novels. She's got all of Thakurais novel Stuart's move past looking frustrated to looking at his phone. So let's probably Keep going so we yeah, so she had a Gwen probably keep going. So we yeah, so she had a Gwen, Gwen is skeptical and she has a conversation with Rorak and Rorak's like basically explains like these fantasies are great, but you have to stand the island to enjoy them. And Gwen, for some reason, feels like she doesn't deserve this fantasy, a reason that we don't know yet. So meanwhile, Patrick and his father have a long conversation. They come to grips with the time travel elements of what's going on. His father's like, well, if I'm going to die on this specific mission that we're on right now,

fuck that, I'm going to go home, I have a son I've got to take care of. And Patrick's like, no dude, you die being a hero. It's very important to me that you die being a hero. This was the craziest turn of character where it was like, you'd think his fantasy is to be, be with his dad and save his dad. Yeah. And but his fantasy is to be there when his dad sacrifices his life so he can keep being a hero for him, which is nuts. Well, I mean, that was an initial fantasy, but he, he, he, he, he, it's one of those things where it's like, oh, if you're not here, your whole unit's going to die. But there's a simple solution for that, which is everyone leave, like everyone get out

of it. It's true. Since it's not real, yeah, go ahead. I mean, and also, there in some kind of secret mission in Venezuela to, are they explicitly saving hostages or is it something else? Something like that yeah and they and specifically he knows his father dies jumping on a grenade which would have wiped out his whole squad but instead just wipes out his body but it is silly for him to it's like if if uh...

they they uh... terminator went back in time just to like make sure everything happened exactly the way and it like SkyNet's gonna lose because of John Conner but SkyNet is very particular so we need to make so the terminators just making sure John Conner doesn't like break his leg and like keep him from going out having fun with his friends on a trampoline and stuff like that like Terminator can I go about you jumping with my friends? No SkyNet needs you to stop it in the future it's very weird to go back in time to make sure a thing happens. I gotta say at a certain point, I don't know why

SkyNet is so worried about John Connor, because they seem to rise every time, even no matter what John Connor does. So, I mean, like they should stop pouring resources into their anti-John Connor program. Yeah, it's a real, it's a real boondoggle. Yeah. And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that Sky... sky net like all things is a democracy and they have a big terminator factory in Kentucky so sky net senator from Kentucky is like well we got to keep sending terminators after john conno of course because we got a brain jobs to the robots here in the factory in my home state of sky to keep

a robot with an accent? That's what I. Very much so. Yes, it is a robot with a with a southern accent. And he's like, well, you know us, a southern bot's got a save. You got to bring home the cotton if you want to be a robot. And SkyNet is like, I don't understand.

That doesn't make sense to me. Well, yeah, it's because you're a Yankee, AI, all that stuff. It's the same. Yeah, it's terrible. Does we build these things in our own image yeah yeah he's and he's his torso is a giant pork barrel like a metal pork barrel right exactly because he's from political cartoon and he's always short circuiting because he's just pouring grits into his grill he doesn't have a mouth really so just pouring them into his speaking grill you know so they they battle battled, they battled in the water, Patrick and his dad until they realized, you

know what, why don't we just do the mission together and we'll probably not get exploded by a grenade and they're like, oh wow, maybe if we, if we work together, we'll actually accomplish this. So that's cool. I feel like that is kind of the ultimate dad fantasy to be like fighting a war with your son and then everything's okay at the end. I feel like that is kind of the ultimate dad fantasy to be like fighting a war with your son and then everything's okay at the end. I also want to say at this point in the movie, like I assume that what the movie is going to be is doing is that this is going to be a horror movie in name and in some of the elements, but ultimately it is going to be a movie where all of these fantasies as scary as they are, are sort of like radical therapy that will help all these

people. And it's gonna be like one of those rare, but they do exist horror movies where the twist is, like, actually at the end, everything is okay. Like the game, kind of, which is not a horror movie, but you know, again. So now, Gwen, despite the rule being that you cannot have a second fantasy, manages to convince, I guess a woman that we believe is Rorx number two or number one, but is actually his wife. It doesn't matter. That twist doesn't really matter. I don't think. Rorx wife, let's go and get a second fantasy. So she goes through the door, she went through before, she goes back in time, we find out, and she's in an apartment building

that's on fire. She bumps into all of our characters. JD and Brax are there. They're running out of this burning building she runs up to a cop who is patrick and patrick's like uh... we're gonna wait for the fire department we're not going to save the guy who's trapped in a in the room i mean to be fair to patrick that probably as standard operating procedure is for the one cop on the scene to not run into the burning building and not and not like professional

fighters. But this is, I mean, like to be clear, this is like specifically why a couple of the characters are regretful. Maggie Cue is regretful. She wasn't able to save the sky and because she started the fire on accident. And Patrick earlier was like, I had a chance. Hey, Patrick earlier had a chance to say. Dan, Dan, I have a Billy Joel joke that I want to chance. Hey, Patrick earlier had his dance. Dan, Dan. I have a Billy Joel joke that I want to say.

So when Billy Joel said that he and his band didn't start the fire, we now know that's true. Maggie, you did it. Oh, thank God. Oh, my God. That did continue with the music. That joke isn't said. No, if that joke hadn't been said, Skynet would be in control a hundred years from now.

I know that because there's a terminator standing over me with a clipboard of jokes I have to say tonight to make sure SkyNet gets to feed the future. And he was poking that one with a finger extra hard. I just wanted to, like, Robert Howard Coney and would hover over him and make him write Coney and stories. I wanted to make it clear that it wasn't just her regret.

It's like, she's the one who seems to feel at most keenly, but Patrick earlier was like, I had the chance to save someone and I didn't. And that's also part of why his father's heroism is so important to him because he's like, well, I wasn't able to do it when it was my chair turn. We find out that all of our characters are connected through this one fire and death. We'll later learn that Melanie was supposed to go on a date with the guy who died, a guy named Nick, and that they all, not only were they, they all feel like they are responsible in some way.

Even JD and Brax were what roommates with this guy? They were roommates and they thought he wasn't home, so they thought he wasn't home. So it's all, they're all connected. Melanie's feels the most tenuous. I mean, there's a reason for that that we'll get to, but like at first she's just like, I was supposed to go on a date with him and I chickened out or something like that.

Or like, he was not supposed to be there that night. I'm like, I think you can let yourself off the hook for that one. I don't know. Yeah, that's a weird one. Yeah. OK, so she tries to, but Gwen is back in time. She's trying to save Nick.

She's trying to break down the door, but the smoke gets the best of her and she passes out. She's later saved by, what is it, Julia? What's her name? Yeah, Julia. Yeah, Julia. Yeah, so all the fantasies start to intersect at this point uh... somewhere in here michael rook or tackles the torture doctor off the cliff and were like

c-later sweet prince that's the line right that's it that's the end of the it's a real skatman brothers character yet so they're their fantasies all intersect uh... the uh... patrick and his father's team of soldiers show up at the villa where the mercenaries are,

Brax manages to trick the mercenaries into letting him into the weapons room where he starts getting weapons and blasting everybody. And he gets a grenade that he uses as like a thermal detonator type bargaining chip. And you see the grenade and you're like, but didn't Patrick's dad die from a grenade? Well, that, you know, it doesn't actually happen.

Ryan Hansen has an epiphany where he's like, you know what? I, our relationship, you don't hold me back. I don't know why I would ever think that. And you're like, oh great, that's really gonna improve their relationship. He then gets shot. I do want to see, where are all zombies?

What's up? I do want to, you know, like this grenade, I do want to spend a little more time on it because this grenade deserves like cast billing in this movie because it gets taken around throughout the entire climax. And there's like a lot of scenes here where someone has their hand on the grenade

Like the first time it happens is right here where someone has their hand grenade and Brett Brax Brax his name's Brax how you he has the only memorable name in the entire movie Like as the person is falling like catches the grenade from, like to keep the dead man's trigger or whatever from going off. And this grenade gets passed around like a real hot potato grenade. But it becomes-

I think you could have just said hot potato there. Yeah. But it's also a hot potato that is a grenade. I wanted to be really clear. I didn't want to get confused with the list. I wanted to be like, oh, is there really a hot potato in this movie that like is gonna burn people's hands? Is this beginning of the tin drum? Yeah.

Steward has always laughing at his memories of the tin drum. Okay, so, yeah, so all the mercenaries big get smoked and then they get back up as zombie dudes with Black Jews squirting out of their eyeballs. There's at least one kind of cool effect where the guys lying on his back and his like eyes fill up with the Black Jews and then they like break through the front of the eyes like the eyes are glass. That was kind of cool. I'll give it to you, movie.

They, so Melanie and Sloan are like, hey, we know a way that we can get off the island. Even though our cell phones don't work, she was able to contact, she was able to talk briefly with Sloan's husband after she posted that video. So they go back to the torture room and they call him and they're like, with Sloan's husband after she posted that video. So they go back to the torture room and they call him

and they're like, look, don't worry about all that stuff. We'll deal with it later, but I need you to call a guy with a plane. So guy's gonna be playing this stuff. Well, and they got the number for the plane from Michael Rucker. Yeah, they have a big, there's just a reconciliation.

Like it's one of those scenes where she's talking to her husband, reconciling with him and apologizing, and it's really directed at Melanie in the room being like, oh, I'm sorry, I bullied you. And this is the strangest thing about this movie to me, is that Sloan, who is not one of the original main cast characters, is the one who gets the cathartic life-changing speech,

and eventually, spoiler alert, like becomes the the hero and it's just a very strange choice to me to have it be this character who is set up as a as an accessory to one of the main characters yeah she gets that emotional moment yeah and she uh... yes so at this point they start to float the idea that they realize that they're all connected through the death of this of Nick. And they start to float the idea that maybe they're not living their fantasies after all, that maybe they're stuck in someone else's fantasies. And they start to assume that the woman that we later find out

is Rorke's wife might be the mother of Nick the guy who died and that her fantasy is for them all to suffer and die. Yeah. It's that moment in a movie where everyone suddenly makes giant logical leaps because the screenplay needs them to. It is a very giant logical leap. Yeah. It's right up there with the scene in Batman 66 where they're figuring out that all the

Batman villains are involved based on the phrases they have introduced the conversation. Did you go through the yellow movie? No, yeah, phrases. They have introduced the conversation. Yeah, hello movie. No, yeah, yeah, Batman's 66-thomero- Batman gets at a jail and he kidnaps a woman and then takes her to his parents' house and Ben Gazzara is his dad. But uh, where Batman's like, ah, there was a shark attached to my leg. It was pulling my leg like a joke. The Joker's involved. It's all such some huge riddle. The riddle, where it licks that kind of logic. There's an idea I'm introducing. He's pretty stupid as fact now. It's like he's dirt gently all of a sudden. So they run to the beach hoping that their plane is going to arrive. The plane comes flying in

and then totally gets blasted out of the sky by a missile and you know what that was pretty great. Then they run into the jungle avoiding the mercenaries on these. They figure out that mystery that I just explained. They go back to the cave because they're like let's fuck up this magic rock. Of course they get to the cave. They all get separated. They're all haunted at this point by their demons, snakes, hands, double versions of themselves, those mercenary guys, Patrick's dad shows back up and he has to battle him in the water again.

It's like, is that in your contract multiple water battles? And then we find out, then we get the big twist guys. The big twist is that Melanie is actually the one whose fantasy was to kill them all. She was in love with Nick and it was the worst moment in her life and she also wanted to kill Sloan because Sloan made her feel bad. So she wanted to kill them all and she really feels like Lucy Hale wants to have her ski-oritch, Matthew Lillard end of scream moment, but I don't know if she's got the chops.

I mean, those two guys, oh, what a performance. I don't think this is an acting issue. I think this is the fact that we saw her by herself panicking and trying to figure out what to do and being scared. So it feels more like Lucy Hale in the middle of the shot was like, this movie doesn't make sense. I have to explain it. I'm gonna make up a reason why this is happening that stronger than the

one the movie is suggesting. I think she pulled that off. That's the case. If this is her fancy, yes. We see her many times when she is alone acting as if she is in danger. And also it is an interesting turn because like, okay, I mean number one, she went on like one date with this guy before he died. So, no. They had a real connection, dude. Maybe he cleaned his fucking fingernails. She's hanging on to a lot.

She's hanging on to high school. She's hanging on to this one thing. And listen to him. And even more important, listen to him. But also, the movie at this point has the weirdest message because like this woman bullied Lucy Hale, calling her like a psycho stalker, and then it's like, oh, actually she is like evil.

I'm like, it's like this pro bullying message. It's like, oh, I was right to bully you. I don't know if it's so much of a pro bullying message as an anti reaching out to people who are different than you message. Yeah, it is. It's not saying you should bully them, but it is saying you should keep them at a distance.

Which is not still not a great message. No. So, we have a showdown in the Chamber of the Giant Crystal. What are Grammy of Zombies? Stuart, what a great chapter title for the serial about that starts you as an adventurer, showdown in the Chamber of the giant crystal. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if I would say, I mean, I usually don't refer to the different parts

of my bowl of serial as chapters, but that would make sense. Because it feels like a real climax. Each spoonful is a chapter is the story of you. Yeah, so Rourke shows up too, and he basically is like, I can't help you guys, it's the rules of the island dudes. And then he wanders off and he talks to his ghost wife. And then his wedding ring turns into smoke and floats away. And then he's like, I can't help them.

So he shows up, he reminds them that Sloan is the only person who hasn't drunk the black oil because she hasn't had a fantasy yet. So she drinks it and then her fantasy, of course, is that Nick shows up out of the water. He does like a Jason Voorhees at the end of the first Friday of 13th Spoiler Alert. And Yanks melanching down into the water, oil. And she drowns and you're like,

okay, the nightmare's over, not so fast. She gets one final scare. She jumps out of the water with a grenade, throws a grenade at him and you're like, always with the grenades. It was Patrick then launches himself out with that grenade and he gets smoked the ant. Yeah, he gets his wish to be a hero just like his dad.

Yeah, this grenade got thrown into the water earlier on, you know, without the pen pulled and like, that's what I mean. This grenade just keeps getting past around the person. Like, we got to figure out a way to get this grenade to our climax where the Patrick and ship on it. Now here's here's the part that if it makes this a good link from Simon Conjurer our previous episode, which is they all wake up the next morning and the people who died are still dead. Yes, yeah, it's like it was all a dream except for the deaths those happened.

And a link to some of thejure because it's like because the magic has the people who are alive the magic has uh... you know like fix them to some degree like at least they they can move on from a lot of what has been problems in their lives yet now they have the new trauma of their experience on fantasy islands that has overwritten the old trauma that they need to do it. Yeah, so at this point, I guess the island is going to continue on.

They didn't blow up the crystal, obviously. The surviving people all want to leave. And then we see a familiar face piloting that boat with inflatable feet, or the plane with inflatable feet. That's right. JD is alive piloting the- I don't know the air's pilot plane. I think he was sitting up front.

But I don't think he was the pilot. Ah! But, well, maybe we didn't see it, but I bet when that plane gets in the air, he's like, can I take the stick? And the other guy's like, other guy or girl, I don't remember. Significantly, you know.

He's like, hey, you do have it all. He's there. He's there. He's there alive though because Brax is like I will stay here on the island in return for him being alive again. Much like Mr. work had to stand on to keep his wife alive. And this is a sacrifice he's making and it also like plays into the whole like oh these two brothers are too close. They need to separate like this is a thing that I don and it also like plays into the hole like oh these two brothers are too close

They need to separate like this is a thing that's happened I don't even know why mr. Wark is still the caretaker of his island though because the only reason he was there Was because of his wife keeping her alive like it seems like he's like well, it should be like see I'm off this hell island now I mean at a certain point the wife fantasy just became an excuse for staying on the island I think it was really wanted to be on the island. I think it's weird here that the rules suddenly seem to change because it's like, previously you come to fantasy island, you have a fantasy and everyone turns into evil zombies and tries to kill you.

And now his fantasy is for his brother to be alive and go back home. So was he sending an evil zombie of his brother out to kill their parents? Is that like, I was expecting leaving the island. I don't understand. I think his brother is going to be on the plane, and so that is going to play into a later thing where he is going to stay on the island and be excited every time the plane shows up. And his brother is going to be there every time he sees him,

which is in a way kind of ties in my earlier thing where I was doing a reference to the Pirates of the Caribbean since that series at the end of the third movie features a similar setup where somebody is cursed to stay on a boat all the time and occasionally visit Kira Knightley. So let's get to this final moment. Okay guys, we have a movie based on a popular TV show. And yet we are missing an integral character. The most popular character on,

or one of the most memorable characters from the original show, that's right, is tattoo. So, but tattoo is not shown up in this whole movie. Now, Brax has decided he's going to stay on the island. And Mr. Rork is like, well, you can't have a name like Brax, you've got to take up a cool island resort name. Which also doesn't want vacation, and I get my hair braided, and I get a cool nickname for that whole time.

Also, if ever there was a cool island vacation nickname, it is Brax. I don't know, it doesn't make sense. I don't know. I feel like he's worried that Brax is too cool of a name. Maybe. If a guest was showing up to the island, they were introduced to a person named Brax. They're like, is my fantasy to battle this guy? Yeah. So he's like, okay, we gotta give you a new name.

And he's like, well, I had this silly nickname back in college and you're like, okay, this was mentioned earlier. Let's get this nickname. Why was he called T back in college? He pulls off his shirt and we see the word tattoo is tattooed on his chest. T-A-T-T-O-O. Yeah, because he does it for the popular character. Dare to get the dumbest tattoo. And I guess the dumbest tattoo is just a tattoo of the world

word tattoo. And I'm going to tell you right now, not the tattoo. Not the tattoo. Head over to the Instagram account, snake underscore underscore underscore pit and you're going to see much dumber tattoos. Um, uh, I warned you. I warned you. Contents alert. Not safe for a lot of very sexually explicit tattoos. Um, but yeah, this, uh, I'm not familiar with this feed and I love that both of you guys are.

Well, Stuart recommended a Audrey and Audrey is shocked every time it comes up in her feed. I'm like well you can delete it. And she's like well no. You don't miss up their follower count. Just mute it. Yeah. Anyway.

But yeah, no he's then he's tattooed which was foreshadowed earlier by him running across when the plane was coming going the plane the plane when they thought it's foreshadowed also by this being a fantasy island reading yeah that that's what so yeah like it's it ends literally with the like the origin of the popular character tattoo which is what everybody was waiting for yeah so let you walk out of that theater on a high yeah so that's how it happened. Guys, I'm looking at these pictures now and you're right.

That is a good content warning to give to people. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh boy. Uh, so... It really, it makes me question my imagination as a comedian that I'm like, well, I could never think of anything as crazy as these tattoos. Yeah, the craziest ones are the ones that you see and you're like, wow, that's actually pretty great.

Great in the sense that the artwork is very accurate, I would say, not necessarily. Oh, yeah, some of those, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's one that's like a drawing of Casper, the friendly ghost, but with like a giant boner. And then it's like followed by multiple reflections of the same image. And I'm like, oh, I'm haunted by the water.

It's like, it's like the end of that Alan Moore Providence. Come. Okay. Well, this is the part where we give final judgments. And of course, we have our special Shaktober categories that I forgot about these. Baffle. Oh my god. Every time was this movie totally

terrifying was it totally snorifying or was it frightfully funny oh guys now is it frightfully funny or frighteningly funny right I think it's frightfully I prefer frightfully let's okay let's go

with frightfully you know let's do with dame prefers. Now, look, it happens so infrequently. I know. Just giving you the business. Let's see. Well, here's where those categories fall apart completely. And I return to our normal categories. Guys, I gotta admit, I kind of...

I loved it, and and you introduced those categories. No one was asking for them, just to immediately decide- I mean, people, I think, like- You know it's specified that he prefers one one way, and then getting- Yeah. I like to do it, I guess.

I like to do it, I guess. It's like you ordered a price fixed meal at a restaurant. We're very specific about how you wanted the sauce on the side, and then we arrived you through it away and said, give me a hand blender. I think that I just, I think people enjoy the confusion that they feel from you guys when I introduce it, but I gotta say, this movie is certainly not totally

terrifying. Like this movie is an utter failure as a horror movie. There's nothing frightening about anything that happens in this movie but i have to admit i sort of enjoyed it while i was watching it now there's it totally falls apart if you give it any examination at all like the plot makes no sense but it a lot of stuff is always happening. It's the basic premise is

You know pretty fun like the movie certainly could lose at least 20 minutes this movie is almost two hours It should be a tight 90 if not like 82 but um I Don't know when we were watching it Audrey's like I don't know this is fine Like I'd give it two and a half stars and I I Grandby and then I just handed her my phone where I just put on later boxed. It's fine and rated it two and half stars. So that's what I, like, if you want something to fall asleep to, fantasy island. Yeah, it's a movie that is real,

relatively easy goes down easy filler. And so, yeah, I didn't, it's a movie that is real, relatively easy goes down easy filler. And so, yeah, I didn't, it's not my sort of thing really, but there were some jokes in the movie that I thought were funny. It's not like I was LOLing at them, but I certainly imagined myself LOLing. And so, it is, I would say it is, yeah, if we're going on the old scale, it is none of them for me.

If we're going on the new scale, it's somewhere between snorifying and funny, but it's neither of those. So I guess I'm saying as I reject both scales. Yeah, I like it. I like it. I like it. I made a big deal about Dan changing it up and then the well Dan's ratings away. It's podcast. This podcast is nothing if not like a slow lesson to all of us about how art it's impossible to you know shove art to categories. Yeah. Well especially these categories. Yeah. Yeah. Like why try and ascribe like a numerical value on the quality of art. Just talk about it, man. It's meant to be experienced.

Speaking of which, I would probably say it's in between snorifying and frighteningly funny. There's some really dumb moments. And just the whole structure of the third act just doesn't make any sense ever. And it feels like it's just thrown together by somebody who has a short attention span and is just trying to, I don't know, like surprise people, I guess. I don't know. But yeah, whatever.

Yeah, if it's there are worse things that you could watch at a slumber party when you are 13 or 14. Perfect, perfect. You're at a slumber party. The best you can do is a PG-13 movie. I don't know, put this on unless you're going to watch, drag me to hell, which is the infinitely better option. Oh yeah, I mean, hundreds or like alien. Like that's, you could watch

that. Is alien PG-13? It might as well be. It's, it's, it's pretty great. I give it 13 at a 10. Is that your, your qualifying of the PG-13 pretty great? 13 at a 10. You're qualifying of the P-D-13 pretty great 13 at a 10. Yeah. And R stands for, sometimes. Oh, I thought it said for radical. It depends on what movie it is. Really? Yeah, that's true. We're here with Macho Man Rande Savage after his big win to become the new world champion.

What are you going to do now, Mach? I'm going to go listen to the newest episode of the Tights at Fight's Podcast, oh yeah. Tell us more about this podcast. It's the podcast of power, too sweet to be sour, funky like a monkey, woke discussions, man. And jokes about wrestler's fashion choices, myself excluded. Yeah. I can't wait to listen.

Neither can I. You can find it Saturdays on Maximum Fun. Oh yeah, dig it. If you're looking for a new comedy podcast, why not try the Beef and Dairy Network? It won Best Comedy at the British Podcast Awards in 2017 and 2018. Also, I'm on. There were no horses in this country until the mid to late 60s, especially St Bovine arsefet. Both of his eyes are squid's eyes. Yogga buffet. She was married to a bacon farmer who saved her life. Farm raised snow leopard.

Don't know it today, that's the beef and dairy network podcast for maximum fun.org also maybe start at episode one or weirdly Episode 36 which for some reason requires no knowledge of the rest of the show Okay guys, well It's time to move on to the next section of our show. We don't have any Businesses sponsoring us today. Well, wait wait before we do I apologize one thing that says in the IMDB trivia That might have changed your mind, apparently, Fantasy Island, they wanted Nicholas Cage to play Mr. Rorke, says here. But he turned down the role.

So that might have changed things around me. I can't believe number one that we didn't mention that before, because I saw the same thing. And number two, that Nicholas Cage turned down a role. But let's move on. Like I was saying, no companies are sponsoring us. Well, that's not true. Jumbo-tron companies are companies in and of themselves. But we've only got Jumbo-trons.

So Elliott, as you are the only one here currently, could you do the Jumbo-tron that I sent you? Because when I said, when I said, oh wait one more thing, that was Stuart's cue to leave. So I will now do my Jopotron. For decades, Roger Ebert wrote a regular column to create his own definitive list of the great movies and foster a love of cinema from all over the world. Roger's list is the podcast where Steve Guntley and a Rotate or Gunley and a rotating cast of co-hosts

are setting out to watch each and every one of them. From the Godfather to Groundhog Day, it's just the G-movie, I guess. This is me interjecting. You kind of want to do an A-movie and a Z-movie. From Beloved Staples to Underground Curios, Steve and his guests are watching them all. Check out the funny, insightful, and informative

Rogers List podcast today. Subscribe to Rogers List on Apple Podcasts. Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. That does sound like an interesting podcast. I think I'm going to try it. Stuart, and you also have a jumbo drum. Oh, okay. Let me just pull it up. Let me read this one. Yeah. Okay. This message this message is for Elliot, Kaylen, and Stuart Wellington. Okay, it's from Binge Listener. Okay, Binge Listener, you know, odd name, but that's fine. Dear Flopperinos, long time and Binge Listener,

one thing I have noticed is that it seems like picking on Dan has reached a cruel phase as of late. I have spent money to ask that you stop bullying Dan so much on the podcast. It makes me sad and I want to be happy listening to you. Well, there's a real loophole that has been opened up there, which means that you can bully me off the podcast. Uh-huh. Which, I mean, I guess that you do bring up a good point.

I mean, this is clearly a critique of our performance on the podcast, because I think it, I mean, I like to think that we are separate people, you know, we're performers, and we're also, we have a private life where we're all very close friends. Yeah. And the show gives us kind of a safe space to try and make each other laugh and perform. And I feel like Dan as a performer is very good at being kind of the heel sometimes, so that that leads to... I was healed accurate so much as maybe I'm more of a boss. I was new heart sort of

Character where I get a lot of use and I yeah, I was gonna say doofus more like the doofus who like kind of mess things up And then we make fun of it, which is not nice, which is not nice on I don't know but I feel like for at least for me part of the joke is that I'm I'm a dumb asshole Like let's address us. Let's make it clear. These two are much, much, much, much nicer to me off air. They're both real sweethearts. I mean, other than the times that we all get sort of irritated at one another.

Well, listen, the way that you are much meaner off air. That's true. That's true. No, I come across as a sort of an affable person if a quick to anger, but no, no. No, the thing is, you know, the strife mostly only comes out off air in the sense that any three friends who now essentially run a business together might get annoyed at one another.

But other than that, on a personal level, we're all very close. Just a real joke. I think I will, I'll say, listener, I hear your critique. I don't fully agree with it. It's a critique I've been hit with before. And I feel like the abuse we give to Dan sometimes goes too far, often not far enough.

But I will quote to explain to my true feelings, which I hope come through more often, in which I'll try to have come home more often. I'll quote something that my older son Sammy said to me today, where he said, I love Dan. So there's a lot of love for Dan in my heart and in my house, and I know it feels the same way. And so we will try to try to be more loving with him on the podcast. Not only to hear that, but uh.

No, Dan, from now on, we're only gonna tell you how great you are and how handsome you are. I can't say that because my voice automatically always sounds sarcastic. So even if I'm speaking from my heart, people are like, oh man, Stuart's a wind and everybody up again, which does not work well when I'm at the bar and I'm like trying to get a drunk guy to leave calmly.

They're like, why is this tall handsome guy being mean to me? I want to punch him and I'm like, don't punch me, that's my money maker. I'm talking about the cash register I carry around with myself at all times. You hold in front of your face all the time. I do like this new precedent that if anyone wants to criticize us they have to pay us to do it. So thank you Benzler for setting that up.

Let's keep that going. Do not tweet any of us instead. Yeah, pay a fee to have the crit critique happen on air I at this point I seem to use Twitter almost exclusively as a way to interact with my mom I did like when you and your mom were telling each other what was being cooked here. Oh, yeah Well, I did updates baby. Oh, yeah, how does it chili turn out stir? I felt bad that I Couldn't have any Yeah, I mean, I, we thought all the effort to make a delicious chili

and I posted pictures on social media because I was hoping I would coax Dan out of his hole and come to my home. I had seen Dan posting pictures of his hollowly walks around. Hatterlands, I'm not gonna come to your home during the pandemic, you know what I'm saying? I like, I like just wanna point out that I like that Dan took issue with the idea

that Stuart was at home, but not with the issues that the idea that Dan lives in a hole. I'm not. Let's take it. Yeah. So I'd seen Dan posting pictures from Prospect Park. So I knew he was out and about sometimes. And so I made a chili at Hunterlands. It was a special.

I put a lot of love and a little bit of heat. Into that chili and it turned out really good. It was a special. I put a lot of love and a little bit of heat Into that chili and it turned out really good. It was very spicy. I would say yesterday was close to like a For alarm, but today it's it's a little bit closer to like a two two alarm Well, I will say and look as as I've grown older. I'm not embarrassed to share these things with people I was not out and about yesterday because I was at home pooping a lot. And so Julie would not have been the thing for me at that point.

So yeah, I apologize that my intestines prevented me from enjoying your cooking. I'll save some for a day when you are not pooping a lot. I would love that. Just make sure to let me know. I mean, we probably can't schedule that in advance because you never know. Yeah. OK, now you've, the plaintiff and the defendant

have stated their case. Now I judge Kaelin on chili court will go into my chambers and figure out who's going to win this case. Hmm. My chambers, of course, being the bathroom. I'm out. OK, that was fast. And guys, I've made my decision.

I'm going to issue a writ of habeas poopus and declare in favor of Dan. So Stuart, I'm sorry you missed you lost this one on chili court. But feel free to bring any more of your chili arguments to chili court. The one televised court. We only deal with chili. Yeah, you know, that's a thing. Like it's just it's it's good enough that I get to play. You know, yeah, thanks for having me. Now, it's always a it's good enough that I get to play, you know. Yeah, thanks for having me. Uh, now Ellie- It's the always a pleasure. I believe you had a piece of personal promotion and one for the show.

Uh, you can feel free to do them in whatever order you feel most comfortable with. Let's start with the one for the show. Hey everybody, in case you weren't paying attention to previous episodes, we're gonna be doing another live episode for charity. That's right. On the Flop House YouTube page on October 24th, one week before Halloween at 9 PM Eastern, 6 PM Pacific. We'll be talking and maybe rocking

about the movie, Exorcist II, The Heretic. A lot of people enjoy our Howard the Duck show that's gonna be just like that. It's gonna be the exact experience of a Flop House live show in your living room or wherever your computer is Take it into the bathroom with you. I don't care. It's on the YouTube page Yeah, watch on your phone in the bathroom or you know bring the TV in maybe have a tablet Just take it on the toilet and enjoy the show. It's gonna be at the block house YouTube page

You can watch on any sort of item, but you must be on the toilet That's the rule. Ironically, it's not our rule. That's what the director John Bournemon stipulated about the exorcist to the heretic. Yep. That it must be watched on the toilet. And so, that's going to be October 24th, one week for Halloween. We're going to do presentations.

We'll talk about the movie. We'll take some listener questions over Twitter. And we're going to be doing it again for charity, for a list of charities that will be up on the Flop House website. So that's that on October 24th. Here's an announcement now that's not for charity, but very much for my own personal profit. I have a new book out.

It's a children's book called Sharko and Hip-O. It is a Mark's Brothers Inspired Children's Book. It's not a children's book. That's not a thing that exists. It's a children's book. It's got pictures by the wonderful Andrea Cerumi,, and that is Out In stores, or for order online now, please support your local bookstore and get a copy of Sharko and Hippo. Elliot, I'm going.

I am ordering Sharko and Hippo as we speak. Oh cool. Walk us through that process. Well, I mean, it's pretty much done by now. I I Did not okay, so I did not buy horse meat stock I have to admit but But the combination of you and a Mark's brothers themed or inspired Children's book has inspired me to get horse or not horse meat stock that's your old one get that one too sharko I mean go buy horse meat stock if you haven't bought horse meat

dog the one I do with Tim Miller please buy that too that one's also hilarious but this one's hilarious too it's kid tested me approved my kids love it and I think yours will too maybe a few adult you will too I'll I would like to correct myself I have bought horse meat stock for others as a childless person myself I did not buy it, but this one is for me Sharko in it, but you've been looking for more bait for your windalist van and you think Shreko in Hippo might be the best Don't please don't

Okay, so Dan what's the what's the next segment of the show the next segment is letters from listeners like you volas nurse It's a little redundant. We can't change it now. Amos last name with help writes this. Be nicer to Dan. Be nicer to Dan. I make it so hard. Only the hard things are worth doing. We gotta remember that. I feel like he's leaning into it. Okay, aim is last name with help writes. As a 90s kid, I grew up with some early 2000s films that I used to love, but in retrospect, were abysmal. For example, as a child, I laughed at every stupid joke of the Steve Martin Pink Panther reboot, the Leslie Nielsen Mr. Magoo movie, and most bewilderingly of all even old dogs. I can only look back at my childhood

in disbelief and wonder why I rewatch those terrible movies countless times. So floppers, my question is, are there any bad movies that were staples of your childhood that you would now flop on the podcast? Keep on flopping in the free world. Amos last name withheld. My brother, John insists that I loved the Water Babies movie when I was a kid cartoon. I maintain. Water Babies, they make your dreams come true. I maintain that. Water Babies, but not it is here in the fantasy island way. If you want to have your dream, but you don't want it to turn into zombies, don't go to fantasy Island and say hang out with the water babies. Water, water, water, water, baby, babies, etc.

So as I was saying, I maintain, Wait, Jordan, leave a pause there for the applause from listeners at home. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I made longer pause, longer pause, more applause. Okay, thank you. Uh, I maintained that I was just, uh, a five year old who would watch any cartoon in front of me.

But later on, um, there are, there are like in the dumb comedy realm of this, I remember watching like some John Candy things that like, you know, John Candy always charming, not often in the movies best served by the material given to him. Uh, so I would watch, you know, like, who's Harry Crumb, which I'm sure would not, would not like bring me much joy these days. I remember thinking that Delirious actually had some pretty funny stuff. I wonder if it would hold up, but that was another one I would see a lot.

What do you guys have? I mean, when I was a kid, I watched a lot of movies that I still love, Grandlands 2, The Stars Wars is and stuff like that. But also in my house we watched Teen Wolf a lot and we've talked about Teen Wolf on the podcast, but that is very, that's one probably for us to keep in mind, actually, for a future special show. Because that is, there's a lot to dig into about that dumb movie.

And it is, it's so dumb. Like it's so, and every, I'm sure there's stuff I'm forgetting about it that's dumb. But we used to watch it constantly, because it was my sister's favorite movie. I, I mean, I don't know know i watched all your normal stuff uh... my wife and i've been rewatched not rewatching we've been watching for the first time the television show cobra kai so it made me think about how many times i watched the karate kid movies uh... and how i never really considered the trauma that would be inflicted in

you even if you win the karate tournament the uh... the bullying you know it stays with you you know uh... but uh... i don't know like you guys are saying like for a while like even if you win the karate tournament, the bullying, you know, it stays with you, you know. But I don't know, like, you guys are saying, like for a while, like, the movie I was most excited about and couldn't stop thinking about was second sight with John Laird Hett and Bronson Pinchot. Like, I would just think of the movie poster

and I'd be, it'd sweep me away and do a new world of imagination. And, you know know movies like that. I think my brother's favorite movie was ski patrol so I watch ski patrol a lot and by my brothers, yeah I mean it was my brother's favorite. It was like in my top five probably. And I having rewatched that recently after our Howard the Duck Live show, you know what? Still good. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that movie.

I think that there are a lot of movies probably of like with like big comedy stars of that era that I would like give a shot even though and keep watching even though they were not good just because of who was in it. Like I remember like watching loose cannons with that Roy and Jean Hacker. And it's like this is an awful, awful movie.

But I feel like I saw armed and dangerous like every other week when I was a kid somehow. Or like the toy. Brewster's Millions, I saw over and over again because it was always on WGN. And I'm like, it was just good enough, just good enough, but not any better. Yeah, I watched that recently

because I didn't remember it at all and Charlene was like, you don't remember Brewsters Millions, so we watched Brewsters Millions. I feel like the thing is, and we've talked about this probably quite a bit, but a lot of the movies that I watched, a lot that I consider to be kind of bad,

part of the reason why I think they're kind of bad is because of things that I wouldn't really want to joke about on a podcast, like, I don't know, like 16 candles. Yeah. Revenge of the Nerd why I think they're kind of bad is because of things that I wouldn't really want to joke about on a podcast like, I don't know, like 16 candles or events of the nerds or some shit. Well, there's a lot of, there's movies with problematic stuff too. Yeah, of course, when you're a kid in the 80s, you don't fully notice, but there are other movies where it's like, like, like, baby legend, legend of the lost dinosaur or something where I'm sure there's both problematic aspects.

And if I watch it now, I'd be like, what is this? Taking that VHS cassette home I was so fucking excited that I was going to see a fucking dinosaur. Yeah yeah. The VHS tape I rendered from the grocery store because that's where you got VHS tapes. Along with Tammy the T-Rex and Theodore Rex. You had all three of them together. Stagot tapes. This triple feature. This next one's from Connor Lasting with Held. Who writes? John Connor on the future. No, wow.

Dear Peaches, I was wondering if you guys had any favorite foreign rip-off cinema. For example, Turkish Star Wars, Indian Superman, et cetera. You might be able to pass along yours and flop Connor Lasting with Held. Just this last year I watched Lady Terminator from Indonesia, which was a lot of fun. It's a movie that takes the basic outline of the Terminator for it's like like maybe second and third acts, but the first act is all about like The setup is different like there's this ancient sex goddess like like snake goddess who

Gets a curse on her like this. it's a very different kind of feel. It's a lot more mystical, but it's a very entertaining with the original Terminator. No. It's extremely entertaining. It's a fun one. Anyone else have anything or not? I mean, I am a fan of Turkish Star Wars.

I think it gets kind of dull after a while, but the first 10 minutes or so that is pretty fun, like, nonsense. And I love the fact that the backgrounds they're using for the space fight scenes is just footage from Star Wars. So you'll see the, like, battle footage from Star Wars in the background and the character, like, spaceships flying through spaceships and things like that. But, yeah, I don't know.

I wonder if there's any other stuff. I actually don't have a lot of experience with this sort of stuff. I feel like it's a pretty big staple of like bad movie culture that was never really part of my school life. I mean, I will acknowledge that there is perhaps in an icky side to the idea of like,

okay, well, these other cultures have done like this bad version of a Hollywood blockbuster and laughing at that but I also and I understand like that part of it I don't care for but sometimes you watch these movies and it's like you know be kind rewind where you're watching these Hollywood style movies like done in this hand-made way that makes them a lot more charming and then like people throwing in elements from local culture to like you know make it make make it their own that's a lot of fun yeah there's some joy of cinema yeah um so those are the questions the letters for for this episode um and there's some joy of cinema. Yeah. So those are the letters for this episode. And there's one last thing we need to do

before signing off for this flop house. And that is make recommendations of movies that you may want to watch instead of fanning selling. But let's just say that. It's Octobertober so I'm going to recommend a movie that it was recommended previously but way back by Paul Saboren as a guest. None of us said anything about it in particular and that is trained to Busan which I finally got around to watching. I sort of put

it off because I will be honest with you guys. I'm kind of zombieed out. Used to be my favorite of the major horror monsters now. I'm like, oh, can we just stop with the zombies, but it is a very Kinetic that is a great title for a zombie movie those can we just stop with the sound? That is like the attitude of the like nerdy brother from the mummy franchise by the time they get to the third mummy movie. Stop with the mummies. You've talked about his character, Eric, right? From I don't believe in mummies. I'm scared of mummies. I'm tired of mummies. Well, Train to Busan is a Korean horror movie and it shares with oddly enough,

a snowpiercer being trapped on a train element and the sort of class, the class undercurrent, the metaphor of the movie, but very different. It's a very much an action horror movie with just wanting to supply you with thrills. And it won me over. Like I said, too many zombies in my life before this movie not sure i need to see a lot more zombie movies unless they bring something new to the table but this one uh...

uh... audio told me i had to recommend it because she could hear me from the other room yelling at the screen at different points like no why don't stop no yeah this uh... it's no. Yeah, it's like a really well-made movie. And there are a bunch of great sequences where you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, do that, do that. And the production values are astonishing. Yes, it looks amazing. Yeah.

So if you're looking for a fun horror movie this season, that's a good one. Yeah, that's high energy. Yeah. I'm going gonna recommend a horror movie. This is a smaller horror movie. I'm gonna recommend Bliss, which you can watch on Shutter. It was directed by written and directed by Joe Begos, Begos, who recently did a movie called VFW. It's this little micro budget movie about an artist who is having a little bit of artist block and she gets deeper and deeper into her drug addiction and she encounters a drug that basically turns her into a blood thirsty maniac. But at the same time it's even

though she's coping with struggling with what she is doing, it's also fueling her art. So it kind of, you know, it's kind of a silly movie and some of the performances are wonderfully stiff. I think there's an honesty to the way it presents addiction and art and partying and it's pretty fun. I'm going to recommend since I had a movie to recommend that I'm going to change my recommendation because I forgot I should have a horror movie recommendation. So stay tuned for a different movie on a different episode. But I'm going to recommend a movie that I thought I'd recommend it before, but I guess I hadn't. And that's the others, Strindical Kidman, which is a great horror movie for people who don't like horror movies. I

really like it a lot. I remember seeing it in the theaters when it came out in 2001 and really being like swept away by it, you know, and a few years ago on Halloween, I really wanted to watch a horror movie. My wife is not a big horror movie fan. She does not like to be scared. And we watch this, and she really liked it a lot. And so if you happen to be in that situation, let's say you have a partner who is not into scary movies, then the others is a real spooky, old-fashioned ghost story to watch.

And Nicole Kidman's great in it, and the movie looks beautiful. And I will recommend it. Sounds great. Yeah, that's a great one. I feel like that's a movie that has appreciation for it. People liked it when it first came out. It may have even been nominated for some stuff, but I feel like it is kind of a low-key,

I guess, like a foundational horror movie. It's just one of those things where it like I think it's it's a steam has grown over like quietly grown over time. I think it's a very non flashy horror movie in a lot of ways and I think it just like yeah it is that it pulls off the fundamentals of a very old-fashioned type of ghost story very well and and the Colchidman's performance and it is is fantastic and like it's one movie that like, when it first came out, I remember being disappointed

that it kind of came and went kind of disappeared. But going to Wikipedia made $200 million to the box office, I guess worldwide. So I guess it didn't disappear that much. But I remember it being a minor hit. Especially because like a slow burn ghost story was not a thing that was, you know, like so big at the time. Like I feel like we've actually gotten more into that kind of horror

being a thing again recently. Well, it's like your time out there's a 24 movies and the other kind of feels like a little bit of a, of a, yeah, it's a link between like an old older movie like the haunting and And those current kind of a 24 atmosphere 24 movies turn that atmosphere up to 24 with a 24 So that's this show in the books, but if you're not another Shocktober episode is coming right up in a couple of weeks two weeks two weeks in fact The show is released every two weeks and with many episodes on the alternate weeks and we'll continue to be like that. Okay, well thanks. You might say it's spookly, regularly scheduled. You might say it's frighteningly consistent in your podcast app feed. Yeah.

Okay, guys, this room's hot. So let's wrap it on up. Thank you for to Jordan for editing the show. Thank you. Jordan, howling, you mean? Yep. Thank you to you guys for being here. Thank you for me guys to be here.

Thank you, Dan, for being you. Yeah, thanks, Dan, for always doing everything you do all the time. For the flop-ass, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin saying, thanks for listening. Bye. Bye. Now you may ask, did I think that maybe I should do a joke there where I kept going? And I did think that and I decided, eh, let's just end the episode. Maximumfun.org.

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