The Flop House - Ep. #329 - Godzilla: King of the Monsters LIVE

Episode Date: December 5, 2020

Holiday hustle and bustle means it's finally time to release the OTHER episode, taped at Boston’s CitySpace, about Godzilla: King of the Monsters. CAN YOU HANDLE THE THRILLS?

On this episode of the Flop House we discuss, Godzilla King of the Monsters. Cars! Hey everyone and welcome to the Flop-Ost, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin, and we're in Boston again. Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

And Dan, when we're in Boston, what do we like to do on this podcast? Well, we like to do the same thing as we normally do, but we were. Try to take over the world, Pinky and the Brain. Wonderful, yes. Um, we taught, man. Wait, was that said in Boston? Yeah, it was originally called Pinky and the Brain's Boston Adventure.

Okay. And then they were like, they never leave the cage really. Or they rarely do. So why are we calling out as Boston? If we just take Boston out of the title, then people can imagine it's happening in their town. And then the executives were like, that would be frightening. If I had super intelligent mice in my town,

but OK, your Steven Spielberg will do it. Um, so I'm sorry. Guys, listen to this at home. Stuart just did the most amazing presentation. I really, Dan is really something. I really, I wish for it. I wish for it, Ben here, Ben. I feel like I wish for it, Ben here.

Dan has never in his life had a sexual or professional experience that so satisfied him, the way that Stuart's presentation did. His mind is wiped. He has spent. They really, they really, really is. Remember what we do. So someone else is driving this car, if you will. Oh! So what we normally do on this podcast, we watch a bad movie and we talk about it. Today we watch a movie and we're

going to find out if it was bad or not. Today we watch Godzilla, Colin King of the Monsters. That's right. Not Godzilla, King of the Monsters, like that's his last name. Godzilla, Colin, King of the Monsters, because a big monster's got a big colon. I'm Ellie, Kaelin, we're... I'm Ellie, Kaelin, for Monster Rectal Health,

as I stand up. It's not anything any of us wants to think about, that the monsters we love might in some way damage their rectums. And yet, if we all take a moment to pay a little more attention to the rectums of our monsters, their lives will be better for it, and we'll really appreciate it. Join me, won't you? I'm a journey inside the monster Poland. I hope you've got waiting boots and the Spelunters helmet, because I didn't bring enough for everybody.

Well, we watched Godzilla King of the Monster. Yeah, and let's just, let's just say right off the top. I was excited about this one, because long-time listeners of the podcast will know that I'm an old-time G-fan. Uh-huh. That means a fan of Godzilla, right? That's exactly what it means. Just trying to stay up the speed. Not a fan of the Geiver? That's exactly what it means. Cool. Just trying to stay up the speed. Not a fan of the Geiver, it's fine.

Wait, what? It's fine. Why are you dragging the Geiver into this? It's just not as good as that. You're not gonna, I'm gonna tweet Mark Hamble. No, don't do that. Now, as a kid, I love the Godzilla movies. Here is how I felt as a kid.

I've changed since then, I'm a cherd. Big monsters, yes, human sized monsters. No, thumbs down. Now I appreciate the human sized monsters. Dracula's, Frankenstein's. The mummy I'm still not crazy about. Wolf mams. You get them all.

Anyway, Gilmams, all of them. But Godzilla's and their associated giant monster, brethren, were the best. So when they told me Godzilla was coming back, I was like, I am ready for this. Uh-huh. And then Matthew Broderick was like, I don't think you know.

This is not your daddy's Godzilla, Vickard. He called me and he said, I think maybe you should sit this one out. And I was like, Ferris Bueller, finally meeting Godzilla, just like my fan fiction. You bet I'm gonna watch it. I should have taken that day off though, from Godzilla movies. And then there was the Godzilla movie

from five years ago and it was fine. So anyway, Godzilla, King of the Monsters, let's just go through this movie, shall we folks? It's five years after Godzilla, the first movie came out. When Godzilla emerged from the- That's the original Japanese Godzilla. No.

It is five years since the last American Godzilla movie came out. It is- Which was just last American Godzilla movie. Okay. It is... Which was just called Godzilla, right? It was just called Godzilla. It is five years after the events of that film. Godzilla merged Ruins San Francisco, worst pride day ever. Oh, weird.

I mean, I feel like gentrification is already Ruins in Francisco. Oh! Hot Take, hot take, hot take. What the tech industry started, Godzilla finished. Every time he knocked over a building, I was like, I hope it's full of like tech program coders. Wow. It was like, wow, calm down, Ellen.

Yeah. And there was that shot of all these cool price. Ellen's the angrily types it into his iPad. There was all these shots of people priced out of their homes going, thank you, Godzilla, thank you. So anyway, it's five years later, Godzilla hasn't seen it a while. Everyone's mad at monarch. The official Monster Hunting organization

whose logo looks like a bow tie. If you saw the name monarch and the logo looked like a bow tie, you would think it was some kind of gentleman's website where you order bow ties online. Yeah, we're disrupting the bow tie industry. And how would you do that exactly? Well, I guess some sort of box service where every month you get a new bow tie. You're never getting any idea.

I never second one of those situations, those common everyday situations. I wish I had a bow tie, but what... Wait, so it finds you wherever you are? Yeah, no, it's delivered by drone. Oh, okay, great, okay. And those drones look like monarch butterflies. And the drones tie the bow tie around your neck because no one can tie a bow tie.

Thank you. No one, even the inventor of the bow tie, Solomon bow tie. Mm-hmm. But not tie the bow tie, but he had hooks for hands. That's why. An old relative of mine. Yeah. Because you were related because you but he had hooks for hands. That's why. An old relative of mine. Yeah. Because you were related because you both had hooks for hands.

So that's a genetic thing? Nope. So anyway, Monarch, everyone's like Monarch. What's your deal? And Dr. Sarah Zawa, Ken Watsonave from the last movie. He's like, we need to find a way to coexist with these monsters that keep stepping on us. All right, let's find it.

There's a family of scientists, and they're gonna be the central characters of this here film. They are Vera Farmiga, Kyle Chandler, and their daughter Maddie, actresses name I don't know. But she's a psychic girl from The Changer Things, right? Yeah, she's 11. Okay, let me show you. Millie Bobby Brown. She's older than 11. Yeah.

Yeah. She's the character 11. That's her character's name is 11. From The Prisoner. No. But what is? Yeah. She's the character 11. That's her character's name is 11. From the prisoner. No. But what is? It's just her name. It's like how briefly in the comic strip peanuts there's a kid named three.

Or like how Blossom's best friend was named seven. No. Six. Six. Well, I thought she was better than six. She deserved to be seven. Oh, God. Anyway, look, I'm sorry if that's a hot take on the awesome best friend

that she deserved better than the name six. So anyway, these scientists, they had a son who died on G-Day, which they don't call it in the movie, but they should. The day Godzilla attacks San Francisco, and they broke up at ruin their family. Now, Vera Framiga has a scientist who lives in a monarch outpost where her daughter, Maddie, has the run of the place so that when they go to watch a mothra being born,

her daughter just runs up to it and is like, let me touch the egg, let me touch the egg. And the government scientists are like, I'll allow it. Anyway, a mothra larva gets born and they comment down with what we're gonna call an orca, but it's a device that can identify and mimic a monster's bioacoustics.

Let's just stop for a moment, guys. Yeah. You're real fans of bioacoustics, right? Yeah. Because that's, there's a lot of talk about in the movie. That, uh, high-fi company, I guess? Yeah. Bioacoustics.

Bioacoustics, yeah. It's like their, their high-fi company in a David Crowderbrook movie. They now install a record player in your belly. Okay. Keep talking. That's all I have. or a high-fiked up-and-eated David Crowderbrook movie. They now install a record player in your belly. Okay, keep talking. That's all I have. You have a pretty big customer to hold a whole record.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, why should only the tiny be have high-fi equipment? Aliets? You're right. That's exactly what I was implying, and I was wrong to do so. Now, we're going to talk about bioacoustics a lot today,

and it would be really easy for us to make a bunch of fart jokes, right? That is the ultimate bioacoustic. But for this one, it just means roaring that you can somehow track and also is what encoded in the DNA of the months. They don't, they just use bioacoustics and hope that we're like, oh, is that a thing?

What? I guess it is, I don't want to seem dumb, so I'm not going to ask about it. Is it like that thing on how like infants crying is like hardwired into our brains to annoy us? It is to me, because I've got one at home and he's always crying, and I can't get out of my head. Constantly ringing through my ears,

like the heart of the man I killed. Oh, wow. But I killed him. I buried him under the floor. I can hear you. For many reasons, your children shouldn't be listening to this episode now. It's the beating of that hideous heart,

and it's beating like this. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, it's beating money. The song, like, I don't know why. Anyway, bioacoustics. Does the heart have the rights to that song? The heart wants what it wants to have. Including the rights to money.

So. Seems like that heart would play heart, but carry on. I know. It wasn't worth me stopping you for that. Look, maybe put your notes aside and we talk about this. Look, if I can't judge someone else for stopping something for a joke, that's not worth it.

Let he who is not me cast the first tone. I just know it's going to come up with my annual performance review, so I'm just saying that I know. Your annual performance review is mostly going to be about your Twitter feed. Oh, good. So, but they don't have a lot of time

to commune with this Martha Laurea, because Charles Dance walks in with his bunch of goons and they kill every one of them. He walks in, or does he? Dance it. No, he walks in. Unfortunately, he should it? No, he walks in, unfortunately. He should dance in. But he walks in and shoots everyone, but Vera and Maddie

takes them and the monster calling machine. He's an ecoteric, it turns out, who thinks monsters should rule the world. He takes them to his base in Antarctica where frozen in ice, they have monster zero, the ultimate monster, or I'll call them, ultimate monster, a sort of mega monster. The Alta monster?

Yeah, he killed someone in front of Rolling Stone's concert. OK, great. And monarch, they're like, how should we catch a Vera Formiga? Only one person can, her ex-husband, Kyle Chandler. He hates monsters. This is good screenwriting. The two characters have diametrically

opposed views of monsters. Yeah. It's kind of like in the mummy movies, how in the first movie, the Rachel Weiss' brother, doesn't know a mummy exists. Second movie, he's terrified of mummies. By the third movie, he hates them. But I also enjoy the fact that the death of their child via Godzilla has led them to different conclusions.

Caljather, more logically, one might think hates your Godzilla. I mean, I don't want to- I don't want to- Whereas Vera Farmiga looks at the- It's Godzilla death of her child, I'm like, yeah, okay, more monsters. She's like, science wins out. Godzilla's stronger than my son. I gotta go with the- I gotta go with the winner on this.

She's like some people like sons. I like sons that don't get crushed by monsters. Anyway, I didn't say it. She did. In the version I just made up. So he hates monsters. You might as well as far as say he wants to destroy all monsters. The least right for the G-Fans out there. So, monarch, they track Godzilla's bio-coustics,

because I guess you can do that, because there's not a lot of noise in the sea, I guess. He's swimming over to Antarctica. It's almost like he's being drawn to Monster Zero. Guys, what do you think he's hoping to get out of this rendezvous with Monster Zero? Maybe a friend or a battle. I mean, those could be the same things.

Yeah. If you're a superhero, it's the same thing. You battle, then you're a friend or a battle. I mean, those could be the same things. Yeah. If you're a superhero, it's the same thing. You battle, then you're a friend. And then you, like, team up to beat up poachers or? Probably poachers, yeah. Or the kingpin or. Yeah, he's probably a poacher, too. Or a king or.

Yeah, yeah, king, poaching people. People who join my poaching animal. Dormammu. Yeah, Dormammu is an international poster, poacher. Crave and the hunter. I don't see the connection. So, Godzilla shows up, and there's a bit, oh, not yet. There's a big confusing fight between the monarch soldiers

and the eco-terrorists. It's very hard to tell what's going on. The whole thing ends with Vera Farmiga, setting off an explosion that wakes up Monster Zero. Now, they just keep, they haven't named him officially in the movie, but we all know who he is, guys. You see those three heads and two tails popping up? It's King Godora, everybody.

Now, do I feel special connection to King Godora because I dressed up as him for Halloween as a child one year? And my mother working only off of my verbal description. I have a monster with three heads. Decided that, and this is a creative way to do it, but I was disappointed at the time, because they didn't look like it. She gave me a headband and put two paper bags filled

with cotton with monster faces drawn on them and attached them to the headband. Because all she knew was three heads. And like, mom, I appreciate that you tried. That's the important thing. But I had this elaborate imagination in my head. I'm like, I'll have the one long neck in the middle for my head, and my arms will have neck also.

Because Gidra doesn't have any arms. He just has the neck and the minks, but that's how I got it. Now, how do you think that you were gonna elongate your own neck? I thought hormones would kick and do that. Still waiting. So, you're for shit. But, you're, oh my God.

Take that, Maya Dreadelglands and hypothalamus, I guess? waiting. So, you're for shit. But, you're for my god. Take that, Maya Drenelglands and hypothalamus, I guess. For your Parmigga, let's lose this monster. At this point, you're like, huh? What? Because she knows that she likes monsters. But you know, she likes likes monsters. You would think that she would do so in a way that might endanger her child

and her ex-husband exactly. Yeah, like I was saying, you don't think she likes likes monsters. You think that's what's her name from the shape of water who's also on the monarch team. You know why she likes the monsters. That was Sally Hawkins. We all know why she likes monsters for sex.

OK. Remember? Like a shape of water? Yeah. It wasn't. Water was the only shape she was interested in. I what? She's collect silhouettes anyway.

Okay, so there's a so uh, uh, uh, Gead your wakes up and his heads are kind of bickering with each other and I was like this is great. So efficient. He's the Disney villain and the goofy side kicks all in the same monster. Uh, he spits lightning like a freestyle rapper and Godzilla shows up for a pretty blurry fight in the snow. Now Stuart, when I say, I don't want to see two monsters fight, do you think I mean behind a screen of snow? Yeah, you wanted to be as obscured as possible, right, Elliot?

Yeah, yeah. And you said two monsters? That's because Godzilla bursts out of the ice and like saves everybody in the last minute. Kind of like the T-Rex does in all those Jurassic World movies. Yeah, do you know the T-Rex was watching the movie and he was like, that's my bit.

He stole my bit. He's like, I'm calling my lawyer. Let me, oh no. No, it's hiding hands. He reached his phone. And I like, I mean, he would just say, Siri, call my lawyer. And the movie goes to a lot of lengths

to obscure special effects as much as it can. To the degree that, like, later on, they're like, oh, there's a hurricane coming. Like, that hurricane's moving too fast to be a hurricane. And it's like, of course, it's a monster instead of it. But they're like, I guess monsters move around with hurricanes and I'm so we can not see the bad CGI, I guess. Yeah, they, it's like they want to go as far as to be like, this monster only exists in shadow. You know what? It's a monster that only destroys buildings when our eyes are closed. And someone's like, you know what the real monster is?

The human heart. Think about that. Don't need a special effect for that. OK, so anyway, Godzilla's on the ropes. Uh-oh, it looks like the G-man's not doing well against the other G-man, although he's not called G yet. He's a monster zero. But then some bombers come by and they end it prematurely.

It's the thing that always happens at the end of the first battle. We can't have a real winner or loser yet. So some bombers come in and blow it up. The same thing happens in the bad news, Bears. We all remember that, right? Maybe it was the director's cut. All the monarchis are like, how could Vera,

Betrayus, Vera said that? And she facetimes with them and she's like, hey. I'm gonna need some receipts. Yeah. She's like, humans are the world's disease and monsters are the cure. And they're like, what? And she's like, look, once they look at all these cities

that the monsters destroyed, we couldn't go back to. Now they're flourishing biodiverse ecosystems. We just need some monsters to thin the herd of humanity, stop on some cities, all of our earth problems will be solved. And how does she show that, Elliot? With a lot of suspiciously already queued up Beerol, did she produce this call? This is basically a Skype call, but let me show you what I'm talking about. It just cuts to Koanaskazi, stop footage of a plant screwing over me.

Yeah, clips from Micro Cosmos. Yeah. Oh, this isn't technically accurate, but I just thought it fit the musical keepsides. I've been dabbing with a little eye movie. I want to show you what I've been working on. I'm not only a monster-releaser, I'm also an author, and I want to show you my new project. It's, anyway, it's set to the Bangles Hazy Shade of Winter. I mean, I know they didn't write that song.

They did cover of it. Sorry, get off my back. Okay. So anyway, but this- Oh, you've talked about attacking the audience. I'm sorry. I just get so mad when I know people are going to jump on me for the Bangles. Anyway, so the, there's a theme in this movie, which is people always having the pictures and videos they need to back up their arguments right at hand. There's another member of the monarch team whose sole job seems to be to just throw out images of monsters from old books and paintings and stuff and be like monster, monster, monster, monster. We've always had them with us. It's like these artists needed to communicate about this King Gidra 3-headed monster, and they just didn't know how. And she throws out William Blake's painting of the dragon,

which, she did not do her research. That's a representation of Satan. Come on, guys, come on! And it is a, as we all know, a specific message through the centuries to William Dollar-Hide. That he needs to go killing people. Anyway, so... You need to go eat that painting.

That is the strangest part, because it's also like, so this is an alternate universe where that painting doesn't exist anymore. He can kill all those fictional people but destroy a real painting. Anyway, I like that painting. I thought more about Red Dragon, everyone. Or William Blake.

Now, you see, the thing is, he blurred the line. There's kind of a literary and mysticism. He was one of the first like, self-publishers of comics, if you will. Yeah, I guess there's a direct line between him and Dave Samp. No! They both had some crazy ideas.

Vera, she's just on a monster waking up scree. She wakes up Rodan before they can fully... More monarch can evacuate Rodan. Sculptor? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, wakes up Rodan, who's like, Yes, he's a monster. Time to have affairs with my assistants. And Rowland.

Well, that was really a guess that you would know information about. Time to make many, many bronze casts of each of my work. So people are like, I saw the thinker in Paris. It's like, yeah, cool dude. It's all over the place. There's one in, I think, Pasadena. Okay, so... Welcome to the Comedy Central Roast of Rodan.

Yeah. So, so, Nanette can be full of art jokes, but I can't make art jokes. So, that's a double standard. So, Rodan has a big role. Yeah, yeah, yeah, speak up for a white guy, I think. It's... Dangerous territory. Almost as dangerous as being in Rodan's sights, because he Yeah, yeah, yeah, speak up for white guys. I think it's... Dangerous territory.

Almost as dangerous as being in Rodan's sights, because he's just flipping over jet planes left and right. Maddie is horrified that her mom did this. Anyway, Monster Zero comes up to beat up Rodan, and Rodan's like, oh, I'm so sorry, sir, and bows down to King Gidra. Literally, the monster is like paying obeisance, because Monster Zero's the new alpha.

Uh-oh, unless Gigerira has something to say about that. Cause guess who shows up? Uh, good Godzilla. Yeah, you're right. Oh, ah! You did it, right on one. He shows up and rips off one of Gidrous heads. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that never happened in the old one.

I mean, the old one was better all around, but still, that's when General David Stratharne of the United States military military. He got a recipe from Alaska. Sorry, that's a limbo joke, everyone. Wow. Wow. Never seen so many blank faces.

I mean, check out the works of John Sale. And limbo. Oh, star. But Dan is right to question, because limbo ends on a cliff. So So I was still those babies. What was the other one? Just not dwell on it. Okay, this never happened. All right Look what? What people want us to talk about John Seale's movies All right, he wrote the screenplay to alligator. What do you want to know about?

He wrote the Howling. I don't know what to tell you. Let's talk about the Return of the Sea Caucus Seven, everybody. I wish the Sea Caucus Seven stayed where they were. I've never seen it. Anyway, so General David Strade there, and he launches a super nuke at the monsters. Doesn't work so well.

Gead Drew's fine. He even regrows his head in a pretty cool body horror scene, but Godzilla appears to be dead. How's his bioacoustics, Elhid? Better than ever. I mean, growing that new head, it really pushed him into a new area of bioacoustics, where he's kind of interrogating what we mean by bioacoustics, and he's playing with the fiber and the timber of the sound.

And so it's like he's gone back to basics in a way that puts a new spin of what we thought about bioacoustics. How are you doing? How are you doing? Weird for me to say this, but I'm so asked. How are you enjoying your own John Sales moment there, Elliot? Hmm, not well. Looks like this John Sales should be half off.

I'm saying we should cut John sales in half. Anyway, Godzilla appears to be dead, and the monarch people, who at this point really only know Godzilla for smashing San Francisco, act real sad about it, like, no, but he's the title character of the movie. How can we do this in Kyle Chan? There's like, I'm glad he's dead, and they're like, stop being a jerk. Anyway, all these monsters start waking up everywhere including this really cool monster that's like a trunkless mammoth gorilla.

It's like a gorilla with huge mammoth tusks. It's like, what is this thing? Give him a movie. They're mammoth. Manrilla, what is it called? Dan, Stuart, what is it called? Mammoth? Mammoth?

Like, he's a man, but he's a mammoth. But he's not a man. Wait myth. But he's not a man. Wait a minute, he's not a man. M-M-M-Milla. OK, M-Milla. Gr-G-Milla. No, but that's got very little man myth in it. It's mostly gorilla.

Grimlands too. I like it. OK, so he's called Grimlands to be new back. How about Bazaar? OK. How about Buzzsaw? Okay. How about Sub-Zero? No, I mean, there's already a monster-Zeroist that's doubly confusing. I have to like how you're like, how about Dynamo? Okay, guys, I'm gonna spoil you.

Do you know any other characters from the Running Man? Are they, are they a public domain yet? Let's just call him Terry. His name is Terry, okay? I like that you're like, give this monster movie too though. They are, they are public domain yet. Let's just call him Terry. His name is Terry, okay? I like that you're like, give this monster movie to the, like your Dom Delewee is the beginning of the Muppet movie,

like going through the swamp and like, oh, a singing frog, that guy's got to be in pictures. I'm like, you're like, in the, in the rubble of this building, this, this city, as things crash down, and you're like, hey, do you have representation? Oh, I think you've got it.

I'm hearing a lot of buzz. So these monsters are waking up everywhere. Turns out, now that I'm just going to call Geedra, they haven't named him yet in the movie, but I'm just going to call him that, because that's his name. And I know it. They're like reading on a scroll somewhere. They're like, oh, this ancient thing calls him King Godora.

Well, I guess that's his name. And they're like, ah, the many who is one, because he's got three heads. And I think one of you made the point that, like, he didn't name himself that. Like, it's not like, oh, we figured, there's a lot in this movie of what I call Batman 66 logic. Because there's a part in Batman the movie

where there's like a shark that's pulling on Batman's leg. And they're like, ah, shark was pulling my leg. The Joker, it must have been. Ah, the whole thing is like enormous riddle. The riddler, and it's like, it's not evidence that you use that word when you're describing it. And so there's a lot of them being like, oh, it's almost like they're moving like in a pack.

Packs have alphas. The alpha must be this one. Ah, yes, in the bioacoustics. It's like, these are not words that the monsters are using to describe themselves. Like, they're just coming over the stuff off the top of their heads. And the movie also seems to believe that the more they explain

the bullshit science, the more we'll believe it. Rather than, like, the more logical thing is, like, say the bullshit science really fast, so the audience doesn't notice. Or don't even say it at all. Be like, monsters, monsters everywhere. Like, blah, blah. I'm a monster. Monster, monster, monster, monster,

as you get a monster, you get a monster. Because I'll, hey guys, I'm a monster. I'm a monster. I'm a monster, I'm a monster, I'm a monster, I'm a monster. You get a monster, you get a monster. Because I'll, hey guys, I want to talk to Hollywood for a second. So this is private, if you guys could not listen for a second. Hollywood, this is just between you and me and maybe Dan Stewart, I don't know. Look, I just like monsters, okay?

So when I see a monster movie, I don't wanna see people in it. I used to watch He-Man as a kid. You know which character I didn't like? He-Man. You know which character I did like all the bad guys? Cause they were monsters. It was, I wanted to go to store in by monsters. Yeah.

And that's why I did. None of the human figures. I owned the most human figure I owned was Moss Man. Cause he's so soft. Yeah. And he smelled like patchouli. Yeah. Guys, I'd patchouli. Yeah. Guys, I'd like to talk to Paul Hollywood for a moment.

OK. With pretending like you don't like something, and then shaking people's hands. We're on to you. We get it. We've seen it. Stuart, do you want to talk to anyone? I guess Paul Newman?

Great. You're pretty old to have the name New Man. Particularly a dead man. Yeah, he died years ago. It should be Paul Oldman, no? Now, how do you feel like Gary Oldman? He's really grown into a name. What?

Who? Okay. But you got to admit that Michael Mann is pretty accurate, right? I'll check. How? How are you? I think you know how he's going to check, Dan. I think you know how he's going to check.

Anyway, moving on. So all these monsters are waking up and they're all now I think you know how he's gonna check, Dan. I think you know how he's gonna check. Anyway, we'll be in arms. So all these monsters are waking up, and they're all now Geedra's slaves. If King Godora wants them to go wreck some cities, by God they're gonna do it, because the king told them. As Mel Brooks once said, it's good to be the king if you're a three-headed monster with no arms,

because you have other monsters do your bidding, because again, you have no arms, just wings. It's harder to knock things down without arms. That is a direct quote from Mel Brooks. Okay. They're like, oh, only Godzilla could stop Gadora, and he's dead. What are we gonna do? And meanwhile, all this is happening,

Mothra emerges from Herkakoon in Mothform in clear clarity, right, guys? Well, I mean, it's behind a waterfall that everybody is like staring at and shocked about. I feel like so much of the direction of this movie was telling a large cast of talented actors to be amazed at things they can only imagine. And now, guys.

And then imagine being those actors and going to the actual movie and being like, I still can't fucking see it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha sing as much as I remember of the Mothra song that the Mothra twins sing in the original Mothra. And, you know, I would be a cad if I were to force him to listen to it now and from an audience. No. Still can't believe we made it this far. Okay, keeping in mind, I do not know Japanese. This is just based on the sounds of the words in the song. Save. This is the problem right away. It is built to the words in the song. This is the problem right away. It is built to 20 years of life.

OK. Danger will Robinson. It's just every time I see Ma-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A You stole yellow ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Many ladies, the moth which wins. So you're saying you don't speak Japanese. Well, if Jane Jez it is to believe, all right, so I'm gonna be back to this movie because that does not happen in this movie. Oh boy. And Maddie and Vera are fighting. She's like, you're the monster mom, which to be honest every parent here

is at some point in their life, whether you're waking up monsters or not. Over here is Vera. So what can you do? Just wake up all the monsters, who cares? She overhears Vera's plan to use the Orca. Again, that's the monster calling, coming, talking to device. It's like the machine Danny DeVito makes in the Simpsons to talk to babies. But for monsters, because I guess

a baby's kind of like a real-life monster. They're constantly screaming, breaking things, ruining your life. And a monster's going to keep you up at night just like a baby. Uh. Guys, we got experience of babies, right? Uh, I guess that now that, uh, I can't even make that joke, moving on. I mean, I've experienced with baby the mystery of the lost legend.

About a dinosaur. That's just a monster. Is it a secret? I think I know about it. So it's not really a mystery either. What are you trying to say? I'm saying we'd better get a fact to the movie because she overhears her plan to use the orca to call Gidra and then question my question mark, question mark, save the day. It's like step one, call Gidra, step two, something.

Step three, no more monster problems. Where is she gonna find like a stadium to amplify that signal, to make it loud enough that King Gidora is gonna hear it? Uh, Fenway, yeah, Boston, Boston, Boston, Boston, Boston. Boston, Boston, Boston. That's right, watch out. I have the accident of local color.

Woo! We didn't plan it, and it's good, because Boston does not come out well from the movie. Oh. Oh. Oh. Although, I will say, okay, just a little flash forward. There's all this destruction going on. Yeah, that's sit-co sign, still standing proudly.

Oh. When they, I assume they landmark that thing because Godzilla gingerly steps around it, yeah. Rather than getting trouble with the housing commission, or. Yeah, there's a point where King Gidora steps on a giant Dunkin' Donuts billboard, and I could just imagine my wife being like, fuck you.

Don't fuck with my dumbies. It's like the pardoned transformers when Megatron just punches the American flag off the Brooklyn Bridge. It's like, that seems petty. So the monarch dudes, they find Godzilla recharging underwater in some kind of ancient hidden underwater temple. As if, I think a sewer pointed out,

he was Kuthulu dead waiting in Sunk in Raleia. Mm-hmm. Like, he's just like that. But instead, it's Godzilla and it's super, what, super like, radiation-y. Yeah. It's very radiation-y. I don't remember. I was a wastens, I watched your noble. They say radiation-y. Yeah, it's very radiation. I don't remember.

I was a while since I watched your noble. They say radiation. Yeah, yeah, that's the way you describe that. It's radiation. In between chain smoking. Stuart was like, how many rontagins is it? Because we really want to show off what he learned from Chernobyl.

3.5. That's the size of the meter. So they're like, gotzilla lies. They are surrounded by graphite. And it made me, I was starting to start to stir and it made me wonder if, so dead Kathulu lies sleeping in Raleia. If ever his alarm goes off and he's like,

uh, and he just hits the sleep button and then like sets the alarm for another million years, I hope he does. I don't want him to come back up. Anyway, they're like, hey, there's only one way to wake up Godzilla because he's a big dude, set off a nuke in his face. But we're in this submarine, and for reasons I've forgotten,

the weapons systems don't work. Yeah, Nukes are Godzilla's spinach. He's like, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. I'm gonna go get Gidora. He's like, ah, well, I'll get Gidora. This is a pretty good question. I've read you with my fire breath. Gidora, blow me like, ah, well, I don't know. It's a pretty good question. I've read you with my firebreath. Good.

Rob, low me down. That kind of stuff. And Mothra is like, papi, papi, hell. And King Gidora's like, oh, come with me. Oh, that's your brother. They're all mumbling under their breath constantly. Because they didn't want to animate the bowels. No, no, what they're going to say.

Godzilla is just walking past these beautiful parallax backgrounds. That's an old Fletcher brother's good, a bad boy joke anyway. So they're like, we have to set it off manually. And it's like, yeah, I guess you do have to rip off the end of Pacific Rim. So anyway, Dr. Sarah's I was like, I don't wanna be in any more of these movies, I'll do it.

And he goes, and he sets the nuke timer, and then he turns to Godzilla. I think maybe even puts his hand on Godzilla's nose and Godzilla opens his eyes and he's like, good bye friend and then the nuke goes off and Kyle Chandler is like, hey, you know what? I like Godzilla now. I think it's time for us to team up with him. Oh! So anyway, back to Boston.

That's right, bean town. It has seen better days because King Godora shows up. Maddie pulled off the plan. Godora shows up. Maddie's like, I don't know what the second part of the plan was. And she's running around. Fenway is smashed, which is too bad. Because it's sad to see another historic stadium torn down

so they can build what some kind of mega mall that happens to have baseball in it. And then name it after a company. Come on. Dan, I know you have strong feelings about this. Uh, is that a reference to, like, things that happen in life? I don't even know. I don't.

You're not the baseball fiend. I thought you were. We can call David. No, we don't need to do that. We get your brother in here. No, that's okay. We'll just move on. Anyway. Face time for the audience. room. No, that's okay. We'll just move on. Anyway.

Face time for the audience. Anyway, no, that's all right. I like you're leading them up to a thing that's not going to happen. There he is, folks. Well, it wouldn't be amazing if we did Face Time. And he's like, yeah, it happens all the time. B-roll, B-roll, B-roll.

It's all ready. I'd acute up just for this call. Like, that's what you spent your honeymoon doing? So, Gidra shows up. She's about to electrify Maddie, and I don't mean in an exciting Peter Frampton way. I mean in a like shooter with a lightning bolt, but then who comes into saver,

stealing the Tyrannosaurus Rex's bit? Godzilla, and he's got the American fleet behind him. Oh no, they got it, they're real fast. Anyway, it's like Boston's the site of D-Day 2, G-Day. I should have saved G-Day for this time, instead of saying it earlier. And the problem is Godzilla, that nuke, he's so pumped up, but he's too pumped up.

He's primed to explode like an atom bomb. How do the scientists know this? I don't know. But they even have a timer that tells them how long it's gonna be before he blows it. I think Chloe. Yeah, I think so. He's Chloe. I mean, I don't want to go on a limb here. I'm not a scientist, but I would imagine I have something to do with bioacoustics. Stuart, you make a fair point. The bioacoustics are going crazy.

At this point, Godzilla has gone electric, just like Dylan. And the fokies are real mad. They're like, you lie! Yeah, Pete Seagars like, this is outrageous. Godzilla used to be cool Godzilla steps on him. And then Godzilla's like, eh, bam, eh, bam, eh, which I guess sounds more like Marlon Brand on the Godfather than Bob Dylan. on him. And then God's deal is like, e shit, and we're gonna each other high-fives. And Dan gets up off the floor and starts like doing the churro.

What, I was asleep. I ran out of the hotel, took a few laps around the building, came back up. That's it. Yeah, and I was gonna... More to that. Look, let me just say personally, I don't like that Rodan took a real heel turn in this one. Rodan, he'll always be part of the original three, some for me.

Godzilla, Mothra, and Rodan, best buds. Not in this movie though, and this movie, Rodan's a real dick. So Godzilla and King of the Door are having this big fight, and this fight is when the movie kind of lives up to its potential for a little bit. They're fighting, and it's really cool. Gidra grabs Godzilla and his talons and flies him into the low earth orbit.

I don't know because then he drops him and Godzilla is burning upon re-entering the atmosphere. It's crazy, but they keep cutting back to the stupid humans so we can find out of their dumb stuff. And Godzilla collapses in the ground after he hits the earth and I was really hoping that his old friend Charles Barkley would show up. I mean, we talked a little bit about what would be the cooler thing. And Godzilla collapses in the ground after he hits the Earth, and I was really hoping that his old friend, Charles Barclay, would show up. I mean, we talked a little bit about what would be the cooler thing to happen at the end. It would be if Ash showed up with a Pokeball,

and was like, it looks like you need a little bit of jigglypuff. It would be Charles Barclay showing up. Would it be like, I don't know, maybe the plan of the Apes Apes show up? I don't know. And then when he hits the ground, a cartoon Godzilla ghost should have come up from... Yeah, playing a little harp, yeah.

Yeah, and they're like, Godzilla, what a great trick. Yeah, but I can only do it once. That would have been really funny. For some reason, I'm imagining nine ghosts when a cat dies in a cartoon and has nine lives. Godzilla's got more than nine lives, though, as we'll see spoiler alert.

So, anyway, the Chandler clan has re-en reunited and wonderful. They fix the Orca monster-calling device and Vera sacrifices herself to drive away with it so that she can distract Gidra long enough for Godzilla to recover. But she gets a super cool last couple words, right? Because Gidra's chasing after her and Gidra's like, I'm going to lightning slap you bitch. And she's like, I'm just interpreting what he said in his roar. I don't know, he's a jerk, he uses language like that. And she goes, she goes, long live the king,

and Elvis himself steps out and hits Gidra over the head with a guitar. But there's two more heads. Luckily he's got two more guitars because Jimmy Hendrix is right behind him and there was Bob Dylan. I know. I think that might've been when your Iowaska kicked in. I don't know.

You guys remember the part where the great gazoo came in? And I was like, let's dump this guy, dumb, dumb. I'm like, ha! And then, like, my third-grade teacher was there, and I've learned a lot about myself. Yeah. I woke up naked in the middle of Boston Common. Just a triconder hat on your penis.

Yeah. But like a regular size one or a little teeny one. Yeah, yeah. Up to you. But, well, I mean, we're not a little wig underneath. I mean, I wasn't going to presume about the size of your penis. I mean, I was going to presume about the size of your penis. Moving on.

So, uh, so. So, because Lucio's up, it's got to go himself. And he is so super radioactive, he is melting buildings as he passes by. Yeah, he got extra pumped up this time because at the last moment, Mothra sacrificed herself and got blasted by King Gidora. And then her Mothra dust fell on Godzilla, I guess, and gave him extra power. I think so, yeah.

Like a one-up mushroom. I was really hoping that a child somewhere would be watching and be like, he's getting power from her dust. I mean, it is the most... It is the moment the movie that is most accurate to the Jeb and he is, or that kind of stuff would happen.

Instead, they've posited by this point that Mothra is the queen of the monsters to Godzilla's king of the monsters. And one of the soldiers is like, so is there something going on between the two of them? And I was like, dude, get your mind out of the gutter. Come on. Let's not think about them that way. It's an honorary title. Come on. And again, but it's also one of those things where like, she must be the queen of the monsters to his King of the Monsters. And it's like, these are not the terms they're using to describe themselves. Don't put

labels on this relationship between a giant moth and a giant radioactive tyrannosaurus-type thing. Uh-huh. But I guess she likes thicker monsters, moth. Oh, I do. Oh, Lordy, when he comes running up on King Dora. Anyway, Godzilla, he unleashes nuclear blasts. After nuclear blasts, it melts King Dora

like the Gremlins at the end of Gremlins 2, and then, uh-oh, one of Godora's heads start rising up again. Is he back? Nope. Godzilla's just chowing down on it, and he vaporizes it through King Godora's throat with his radioactive fire. All the monsters come and bow to Godzilla

as he stands atop the ruins of Boston, which the ruins look much bigger than a city like Boston would probably create. But what are you gonna say about that? They had to take a little bit of license, because if Boston was accurate sized, Godzilla would just kind of like step on it and not notice and just keep walking.

Yeah, maybe this positive it's an alternate world where when monsters showed up, Boston just built a lot more buildings. Yeah. So the monsters bow to Godzilla and he roars finally. He is undefeated as the king of monsters, or is he? Because during the credits, this is the craziest part. I knew they were going to set up a King Kong battle.

Of course they are. And there's some headlines on websites that are like monsters head to hollow earth tunnel in Skull Island. Skull Island is a king bigger than a god. But they also have headlines that are like monster poop. The best fertilizer, monster cells, a new super food, plants grow everywhere, 14 species taking off,

and they have a little rebuild the Amazon forest. Yeah, it literally is that. It's basically like the entirety of the movie battery's not included, where these little space robots help this when these old people save their building, right. Except the old people are humans and the building is earth. But it was like yeah. Wait so just. But at no point is like Godzilla climb onto a little grill and somebody confused them with a burger patty. It would be a pretty big big meal. Pretty big piece of cheese to throw in Godzilla. Anyway I guess we're the

only ones remember batteries not included. Nobody else here likes the later works of Donna Michi, as someone starts talking about Karina Karina. Anyway, so, but it's, it, it posits that the monsters will really solve every single environmental problem we have, and then Kong Battle is teased, credits, and then the end of the credits. Uh-oh, Charles Dance, he didn't die in this one, and he's brought to... somewhere in underground warehouse, I don't know, where they've got one of Gidora's heads. Uh-oh, something tells me we might see a mecha Gidora

at some point, and if we don't fuck this movie. Don't tease me that way. All right, really, really, really, really long. Yeah, I'm a long, sorry. Really fast. Final judgment says this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, kind of like Elliot Goat. I did not like it.

I thought it was a bad man. But because it's just like, it's a boring movie, it doesn't want to give me monsters, and I want monsters from my monster movie. Yeah, I'm going to say it's bad, bad. To the way you explained it, even with all your weird digressions, that's not actually seeing the movie, was much clearer than the actual plot of the movie.

I cut out a lot of the scenes where people talk around fake science stuff and Bradley Whitford's like making jokes about nothing in particular. Yeah, it's just real dull. Elliott or... Elliott, do it. What? What? Stele-ed.

I'm Stele-ed tonight. You know, I've gone on record saying, I like a big Godzilla, you you know, like I like one with a lot of meat on his bones But this movie not so much this movie could have lost a little bit of meat because I feel like if you had it out Maybe an hour of it and it was mainly just monster fights. I'd be down So bad bad movie So bad bad movie. Alright. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Does our podcast deep dive into the weirdest Wikipedia pages we can find?

Yes! Do we learn about scam artists, remote islands, horrible mascots, beautiful diseases, and mythical monsters? Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. And yes, do we retain any of this knowledge? Yeah! How are you not? I'm Emily Heller.

I'm Lisa Hannah Walt. We make art and comedy and TV shows, and also the podcast Baby Geniuses. For the past eight years, we've been trying to learn new things about the world and each other every episode. But let's be honest, this podcast is mostly about two friends hanging out, shooting the breeze,

and making each other laugh. We're horny, we like gardening and horses, and we get real stupid on here. But like in a smart way. Yeah, join us every other week on Maximum Fun. ["Ghosts of the World"] ["Ghosts of the World"] Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor.

Judge John Hodgman ruled in my friend's favor. Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor. I'm Judge John Hodgman. You're hearing the voices of real litigants, real people who have submitted disputes to my internet court at the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I hear their cases, I ask them questions, they're good ones, and then I tell them who's right and who's wrong. Thanks to Judge John Hodgman's ruling,

my dad has been forced to retire one of the worst dad jokes of all time. Instead of cutting his own hair with a flow bee, my husband has his hair cut professionally. I have to join in. to retire one of the worst dad jokes of all time. Instead of cutting his own hair with a flow bee, my husband has his hair cut professionally. I have to join a community theater group. And my wife has stopped bringing home wild animals. It's the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

Find it every Wednesday at MaximumFund.org or wherever you download podcasts. Thanks, Judge John Hodgman. Hey everyone, hoping that you're enjoying this live Godzilla show, the second show, along with Alita Battle Angel from our double show in Boston. Both of them very good. We miss doing these shows dearly. We hope to have the chance to get back on the road sometime soon. But since this is a live show, you know what that means? A solo ad read and the first sponsor of the show is Squarespace, a service that helps you create a beautiful website to turn your cool idea into a new website. Again, that should not be a separate bullet point blog or publish

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You might ask, doesn't Instagram do that for me for free? Yeah, but you know, make it a destination, you know, make it special, make it real nice for everyone. Hey, we're also sponsored by the Kitty Poo Club, the Kitty Poo Club who is giving us money to make me say Kitty Poo Club. Are you a proud cat person like I am? You love your cat, but that doesn't mean you love having a litter box in your home. Lord no, it's a box full of dusty, clumpy sand that your cat peas and poops in. Kittie Pooh Club takes care of the more unpleasant parts of cat ownership so you can get back to loving your furry friend. Yeah, you don't

want to resent your furry friend for pooping? Everybody poops. I write a book about it. Hey, every month, the Kittie Poo Club delivers an affordable high-quality, recyclable litter box that is prefilled with the litter of your choice. The boxes are leak-proof, eco-friendly, and have a fun design for every season. It's like your cats pooping in a seasonally appropriate spa. When the month is up, just recycle the box and Kitty Poo Club will automatically deliver a new one to you, no changing used litter and no more cleaning the box. And right now, Kitty Poo Club is offering you 20% off your first order when you set up auto ship by going to KiddiePooClub.com and entering promo code flop.

Just go to KiddiePooClub.com and enter promo code flop to get 20% off when you set up auto ship. That's KiddiePooClub.com and don't forget to enter promo code flop at checkout at checkout not checkout to help support our show. We have a couple of jumbo troms here jumbo troms that yeah tron the movie tron was angry, they were going to sue us for a copyright infringement, so now we're jumbo troms. Long time flopper, first time Tron or bin Carter, with a dumb jumbo tron asking flophouse nation to support the Kentucky equal justice center.

It's a righteous org working to make sure everyone, black Brown or White, has the health care, housing, and money they need to thrive. Floppers love horror, and K-E-JC fights actual horrors like poverty, racism, evictions, gerrymandering, and zombie debt collection. That's legit what it's called. what it's called. Help KEJC keep the horror where belongs in Shoktober. And you can donate to the Kentucky Equal Justice Center at bit.ly slash Dumbo Tron. That is Dumbo-likely elephant. What a nice what a nice jumbo tron to help the world. This message is for Jojo, it is from Justine. And Justine says to Jojo, Happy Birthday, little brother. Here's to the world's greatest 37-year-old man trapped in the body of a 26-year-old boy. My gift to you is hearing Happy Birthday from the mouths of three gentlemen well-one, who might actually have chuckled at your proposal to name a new truck, Alan

Truck. Keep being my favorite, also only brother, love teeny. I would have chuckled at Alan Truck. Thank you for sharing it. That's all before we get back to the live show. I hope that we will have something to announce about a virtual live show soon. But as of this moment, we rejoin ourselves in Boston. We like to close out these shows with a little bit of audience questions. And we got- Was that a question? Yes, we've got, let's say around 12 minutes.

There's a microphone right there. We can't answer too many questions. We'll try. We've got to make these questions fast and furious another reference to Stuart's presentations from earlier. Bless you. Godzilla bless me. Hey's it, love bless me. Hey guys.

Hello. So if you guys work Kaju, which would who would you be? Well, I would obviously be Gamera because I'm a friend of children everywhere. I mean, I want to do a lot of cool spin attacks. And you can flame out of your leg holes. I want to believe I've got Zilla, but I've probably one of the awkward ones like Megalon.

Can't really do anything. Look, I've always had a fawn as for Mothra. I know she's supposedly the queen of the monsters. I don't care. I'm not going to box myself in that way, Elliot. Uh-huh. And I mean, I think it also makes sense because of the way that you react to the mother song.

Yeah, Dan, every time I sing it, it's like you can't, you can't help it. I think it might be a hate crime, so that's why I don't like it. Hey, crime. Not sure, I just... All right, next question. L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L- Oh, shoot, that's too obvious. Sorry, L. It's okay, just ask the question. Okay, anyway, I have a, this movie features a lot of flying monsters. You know it.

And we all know that. A lot of flying monsters. Yeah, and that's impossible, right? Like the biggest birds weigh under 20 pounds. So what I want to know is, are there any movies out there that actually feature realistic physics kind of about giant monsters. Any giant monster movies that feature realistic physics, I would take issue with the 20 pound limit you're setting

on flying animals. Ketzel Kawaddle, anyone? Thank you. Anyway, okay, so, but he had holobones. That's how he stayed so thin, no matter what he ate. I don't realistic, I mean, any monster that big would probably collapse under its own weight at a certain point.

There would be thousands of feet tall and they're radioactive, so their cells are deteriorating rapidly. It doesn't make you stronger. What about like the whole kid? Not like the blob when the blob gets really big because the blob doesn't have, it's like just a blob. I guess, yeah, I guess the blob is just a blob. Yes.

It's all, it's all. I think I'm gonna call that in the name, baby. McCoy's theorem. Next question. Hi, Mike, last name withheld? Hey, Mike. If you were not in the flop house, God forbid, and you were at one of your own live shows,

what question would you ask yourselves? What question would we ask ourselves if we were not in the flop house, that a flop house live show? I'd be like, Dan, why'd you kick me out of the flop house? My question would be, how dare you, sir?

Yes. How dare you, sir? How dare you, sir? I would say, hey guys, if you had a stand from the comic book series JoJo's bizarre adventure, which of the major arcana of the tarot would you choose? And what colors would you use? I await my answer. Next question please. Sam, last name withheld? Fuck Mary Kill, Godzilla, Gadora, and America's sweetheart, Kyle Chandler. Oh, okay, fuck Mary Kill, Kyle Chandler. That's crazy, you Mary Kyle Chandler.

He's such a good coach. I mean, this is a weird, like, okay, can we all talk about fuck Mary Kill for a second? Because... Dan, if you're gonna question the premise of something that is obviously we don't wanna kill these people. Come on. Dan. I'm saying. Are you gonna take a brave stand against this thing? Nobody really wants to do. You're gonna question the premise of something that is obviously, we don't wanna kill these people. Come on.

Dan. I'm just saying. Are you gonna take a brave stand against this thing? Nobody really wants to do. Look, this is not just saying, hold on. This whole game posits a lock horn style world where marrying someone means the death of sex. No, I don't think that's it at all.

It's the, it's the, it's that, who is the person that you want? Who is the person that you wanna be with all the time and have sex it's the, it's that, who is the person that you want? Because you're the person that you want. Who is the person that you want to be with all the time and have sex with all the time? Who's the person you just want to do at once? Because the story is going to be nuts. And for me, that would be King Godura. That's right.

Wow. I would marry Godzilla, Kyle Chandler, I'm sorry. Just, I don't have anything against you, but you just didn't make the cut. I'm a G-Fan. Come on. I'm not a Friday F and F and L fan, Friday Lights.

Not the same degree. You're saying you have, uh, wait, closed eyes and wait. Yeah, my heart is empty. Empty heart. Empty heart, and I always lose. Yeah. I did it. Oh, man.

Smokes coming out of my ears. Okay, next question. You're very good with Antonim Stewart. I did it. Oh, man, that smoke's coming out of my ears. OK, next question. You're very good with Antonim Stewart. Hi, I'm Jake. A couple of years ago, I sent you guys a letter asking you about the machete order for the fast and the furious. You never actually answered the question.

Oh. Oh, that's not why I'm here. Oh, thank God. I was worried for a second. Thank God. I feel like that. That was it. Oh, thank God. I was worried for a second. Thank God, I was like, yeah. That was it. Yeah. So, well, I've got a machete for you.

Shing. So, a few years before that, a friend of mine showed me a movie called The Zero Effect. And we sat in a much. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he was like, if you don't laugh at this one particular moment, I know that you're not going to enjoy the rest of the movie. It was when Ben Stellar was unlocking locks

for like 10 or 15 minutes of movie. So, have you ever shown a movie to someone when you sat them down, you're like, I know you're not gonna have fun with this, if you don't have fun with this particular moment and what is that moment? A movie where you show it to somebody else and you know if they're not gonna like this moment,

they're not gonna like the whole movie. Hmm, I don't know. You sit down, someone, you say, you're going to watch the last half hour of mother, and if you don't like it, let's not watch the first hour and a half. Because this movie is not going to a place you want to go. I remember right after college sitting down

with my ex-girlfriends, Dad, and pulling out a recently purchased copy of the DVD of Blade 2. And I'm like, if he's not into this opening, I don't think he's gonna like the rest of it. And that was really true, but I liked it. I mean, I know that we go... It's more of a Blade-Pwood guy. I know that we go to the Grimmons too well a lot,

but if you don't like the facts that the movie begins with Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck fighting over the Warner Brothers logo, you're not gonna shoot it. If you're like, what the... I thought it was a Grimmons movie, then. Show them the door, please. That's a good point. Okay, next question, please. I, Michelle, last name I felt.

I need help settling an argument who would win in a fight, Godzilla, or Superman. Who would win a fight, Godzilla, or Superman? Oh, are we talking pre-crisis or post-crisis, Superman? I'm just gonna leave now, it's sad. Because pre-crisis, Superman could move a planet, but post-crisis, John Byrne was like, let's deep-power him a little bit.

Here's the, I think, oh, probably Superman, I don't know, because he'd fly him into space and hurl him in the sun. But here's the story I want to tell. And I always wanted to tell it. I always want to tell it in a sad way that the Godzilla is destroying the city and they enlist Dracula and he bites Godzilla, turning Godzilla into a vampire,

so the sun destroys him with the radiation from Godzilla's blood kills Dracula and they build a statue to him. Because he sacrificed himself to save humanity. So Stuart, do you think we'd win Godzilla or Superman? Dracula? LAUGHTER Hey guys, I just wanted to see what's going on this side of this.

Oh, Dan has gone to the other side of the room. Oh, okay. Are you done? Do you have an answer to the question? No. Okay, let's move to the next question then. I think Dan's superman knowledge begins with Lewis and Clark,

of which Godzilla never appeared. Oh, this too. Well, hey, Tony, last name withheld. Hello, I know Elliot likes fried chicken. You know it, you just said. So I was wondering which kaiju would you like to eat and how would you prepare that? Oh, man wondering which kaiju would you like to eat and how would you prepare it? Oh, man. What kaiju would I like to eat and how I would prepare it?

Well, let's say fried. Come on. You gotta go with rodon because he's a big bird. It's the biggest fried chicken ever. But although it might be too spicy for you because he's like a fireball. Yeah, that's true. And I like my prefer mild to spicy. Also, you know what? I take angiris and I would just cook the ribs, barbecue them because he's like a fireball. Yeah, that's true. And I like my prefer mild to spicy. Also, you know what? I take angiress, and I would just cook the ribs, barbecued them, because he's got big ribs, yeah, sure. How long do you think it would take you to skeletonize a Kaiju,

Elliott? To skeletonize? Yeah. I mean, more than I have time on this Earth day, and probably, I mean, which Kaiju each time, though, because there's some are big of others. Because Ebra crack I'm open. I mean, it's not Skeleton's Exo-Skeleton,

I guess that was a bad choice. What if I can add that soul? I adore the giants now, but he's an Exo-Skeleton, okay. Or Spy. I always see everyone's time, please. Hi. Hollis, last name withheld. I would like to play Radio Zork.

Oh, okay, someone. Someone like to step up and try their hand at Radio Zork. Everyone's favorite text-based radio calling, choose your adventure show. Yeah, please. I would like to scream just for like a while. OK, you scream at the door for a while. Time passes.

Your throat becomes horse. There is no answer. Thank you. The door remains closed. Thank you for playing. That's radio zork. I'm going to tell you. The door remains closed. Thank you for playing. That's Radio Zora. I got to tell you, not a bad strategy.

Oh, no. One of these dates, someone's going to get that dang door open. I'm going to start this adventure. Yeah. Josh last name was held. My friend is, unfortunately, he was going to be here tonight, but he can't be. He is moving from Medford to Maryland for a job.

And Elliott, specifically, could you give him a piece of advice I'd be here tonight, but he can't be. He is moving from Medford to Maryland for a job and Elliot specifically. Could you give him a piece of advice for someone who had to move locationally recently? Oh, okay. Yeah, it's a move locationally. I guess Tim Borell with his role doing. Yeah.

We all move through our lives, you know. Yeah. So. Islands in the stream, I call us. Advice for someone moving temporally. Here's the thing. As an adult, it's hard to make friends without seeming creepy.

And especially when you're in a new place, but you gotta push through that. Because without a local social network, you're going to feel isolated. And you're going to start thinking you don't like it there. When really, you just don't like being by yourself, probably. So reach out to people you work with or if there's a local club that does things you like,

rock a tree, chess, make sure it's an adult club, not a kid's club, but like, like you like Burger King kids. That's just what I was gonna say. That's okay for everybody, because we're all kids when we're a Burger King. Where a kid can be a kid, right? That's where Burger King's slogan.

Don't look at me. Yeah. So that's what I would say. Good question and good answer. Thank you. Next question, please. Hey, my hold, is the Burger King slogan have it your way?

The Burger King slogan is have it. Because that can't seem very angry. Have it your way. It's a passive aggressive slogan. Yeah. We made these choices for a reason about what we put on a burger, but sure. Have it your way.

Have it your way. It's a Burger King world. You're just living in it. Is that one? Yeah. Godzilla Burger King of the Monsters. Next question, please. The penultimate question.

So a friend of mine, seven-year-old, saw this movie, and I asked him what he thought of it, and he said it was the best movie he had ever seen. And I thought. I mean, to be fair, when I saw this when I was seven, it probably he said it was the best movie he had ever seen. And I thought. I mean, to be fair, when I saw this when I was seven, it probably also would have been the best movie ever. Right, I mean, I was thinking if someone asked me that

when I was seven, I probably would have said the cat from outer space, but I was wondering, what about Seven Samurai, dude? I mean, it has seven. I just think it like, shit, I think, okay. I mean, when I was seven, video drone was really big. Anyway, you're saying.

Just wondering if someone had asked you guys when you were seven, what the best movie you ever saw was? If someone asked us when we were seven, what the best movie we ever saw was. I think mine would have been Beast Master. It's a good one. Similar to a lot of ferrets. Got a couple of ferrets in it.

The FQ is very high in that movie. Yeah, I would have said, and this is going to shocked Ann McCoy, who was loudly telling me earlier this movie does not work, Dark Crystal. A movie I still love. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's be clear. I think the movie is beautiful. I love Jim Henson and all he did.

I think that it's an amazing work of imagination. It's an awesome, but the Brian Fraud designs are great. I just think that narratively, as a piece of drama, it's kind of boring. Continue. My seven-year-old self and my 37-year-old self would disagree, but that's okay. We live in America. Everyone can have different opinions about Dark Crystal, or whether they need more information from Alita Battle Angel, and the little reference to any of that episode.

Stuart, what would you say? Maybe ski patrol. It's about some people who work for a ski patrol and they get into trouble. That's the last question. Last question, better be about ski patrol. Hi, I'm Jack, last name withheld. Dan in a previous episode, I think it was the Robin Hood episode.

Pete to the fire, Dan McCoy. Yeah. I'm scared for a couple of reasons. Number one, I don't know where this is going. Number two, this man is far too handsome to be a podcast fan. So, thank you. Robin, why are you in conversation? Everyone else in the audience, Dan.

Mr. Suk up to the stranger. Dan, this is like Dan, we, it was announced we were on a new podcast streaming service. We were newly on an old podcast news, and Dan was like, we're on this service now. We used to not like them, but now they're OK. Dan, you don't need to say everything. That's a me.

I go on, sir. Handsome question, ask her, what did Dan say that you would want to know more about her attack? He's not going to like this, but, sure. He referred to himself as chaotic good because he liked watching porn on airplanes. I don't know. Well, I have to assume there's some context that made more sense.

And I'm sorry, I changed that up a little bit. Newed scenes on airplanes, what continue? I think we'll have to consult the record at some point. I do not watch porn on airplanes. No one report me, I don't want to have to go. It's all, it's arch. The Dan character maybe. I don't know. It's sorry, go on.

But on the um Laughful, chaotic, good, bad access, where would you, Elliot, and Stuart put yourselves and maybe some other flopp house favorites like the Housecat or Croddatti? Well, the Housecat is obviously true neutral. You could never... He goes where the wind takes him. Um, I'm probably lawful good, you know?

I follow the rules. Fame of Texas. Don't come my hair. I do. Shhh, fuck up. What do you call? I'm probably annoying good. I think that's probably my status.

And cry daddy when he was young. He was caret of good. But now, no one you're living in a Connecticut subway even is a... You put up a basketball hoop in the driveway, and they tell you to take it down because it's against the neighborhood regulations back in the bayou. You'd shoot that man.

But here in the nutmeg state, we take down a hoop. So now he's lawful good, so. I can't think of a better way to end than with a appearance of the most popular thing on our show, Broad Addy. Thank you so much for sticking around for a late night. I can't think of a better way to end than with a appearance of the most popular thing on our show. Brodatti, thank you so much for sticking around for a late show. Thank you, just in his face. Thank you, Boston.

Thank you, Boston. For the plot, I mean, we usually would hang out, we can't, it's a late show, but thank you for coming. For the plot, boss, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Sure Welling, Dan. I'm show. But thank you for coming. Through the plot box, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Sure Welley, Dan. I'm Ely Kalan. Thank you. I'm a Travian here.

It's kind of a disappointment, but I'm... Okay. We say on this episode we talk about... at www.commodyandculture.com Artists-owned, audience supported.