The Flop House - Ep. #338 - Zack Snyder's Justice League

Episode Date: March 27, 2021

Look, it was probably inevitable that we'd end up discussing Zack Snyder's Justice League, and we'll say this -- it is certainly the most Zack Snyder-y Justice League we've ever seen (check out of our discussion of the theatrical cut here). In fact, it's SO Zach Snyder-y that it's four hours long... so we've split our ZSJL episode in TWO! That's double the discussion of this already over-discussed movie. YOU'RE WELCOME, WORLD!Wikipedia entry for Zack Snyder's Justice League.Movies recommended in this episode:DoppelgangerSneakersSilver Lode

On this episode we discuss... Zack Snyder's Justice League. The longest superhero movie ever, the most expensive director's cut in film history, and only the second major motion picture to have the word Zack in the title. Sorry Justice League, Zack and MiriMekoporno got there first. Hey everyone, welcome to the Flop House,. I am Dan McCoy. Heck yeah and I'm Stewart Wellington. And this is Elliott K-Lin. Hey. Oh, oh, oh, big energy.

Well, we used up a lot of energy. That was too much. I don't have anything left. I'm gonna go light up now. Hey, more gas in the tank. So I know what the listeners thinking right now, they're thinking, justice league. These jerks don't realize they already talked about justice league. Well, oh boy, let me spin you a tail. There's a gentleman called Zachary Snyder,

who is a visionary director and thus, deserving of, I don't know, having his every whim fulfilled. So internet nerds have insisted upon this cut. Elliot, you look raring to give more context to this. So, I did, well, the first context I wanted to give was, hi, this is the flop house, we're podcasting with a watch a bad movie, let me talk about it. The other context I want to give was, you're right Dan,

this is the legendary Snyder Cut. It could only be brought about because of a huge campaign of fan activism, online bullying, and resources that might have probably been spent on making a new movie or just arguably things that the world needs more than a cut of the Justice League movie. But hey, we don't need to get into all the backstory because there's a little bit of tragedy in it. Needless to say, there was, Zack Snyder was making the Justice League movie,

then he had to leave because of a family tragedy that's very sad, then Jos Weedon came in to finish it and nobody liked that version of it. And now that Jos Weedon is officially canceled, it's time for Zack Snyder to step up and take the helm again. That's right, it's Zack Snyder's Justice League, a leaner, meaner, streamlined Justice League.

Nope, nope, nope. It's just a fast machine that keeps it smothered clean. No, nope. No. I do want to point out, before we get into too much of the meat of this, that Zack Snyder has made a fair amount of charitable efforts with this cut of Justice league.

I believe they're donating some of their money and Yadayata. So that's all cool. I feel like the way that Zack Snyder himself has handled this has been super reasonable and above board. And I only, the only people that I put any discussed on are the subset of fans that wanted this so badly that they made other people's lives difficult and unpleasant.

And will probably continue to do so now that they've been vindicated. Well, and yeah, now that they've been rewarded, I mean, they're already calls for the a different cut of suicide squad, which, I mean, unless you're just going to add 100 more songs to that movie, I don't know what else you can do with it, but Yeah, so I mean and a Stewart alluded to or wait, sorry as Elliot alluded to in his joke and Stewart Roundly rejected this is a longer cut of the movie. This is a long Cut it is a four-hour cut of Justice League Long cut it is a four-hour cut of Justice League

What available on the least useful streaming service HBO Max it is useful because they have a good selection of shit It is not useful because their user interface is the worst of all fucking streaming service I direct you to stars where they just dumps a bunch of movies under the category movies and what did it that I mean the movies by the way Dan I mean come on then can you say I will say that HBO Max the the breath of their Content is only matched by the slowness of the apps loading I do like I do like that they have a they currently have a section under famous aries actors Because I like to pick my movies based on my My knowledge of their horse. Yeah, so anyway, this is a long cut of the film and I such Rather than have an extra long flop out of since we already have extra long flop houses

We are going to it's called every episode. Yeah, we're gonna to do our very first two-parter flop house. What momentous event could hardly deserve such treatment other than visionary director Zack Snyder. So this is covering the first four chapters which goes up to about 220 in the film. What's great about it is that you have just buried the lead there because one of the biggest changes is that he breaks the movie down into chapters with chapter, haven't you? Yeah, that's true.

And the chapters, the chapters, I have a quote at the beginning from each from a character in that chapter. And I was just glad to see that the only thing I don't like about the wire was continued by another visionary in their work. Because I think it is super ridiculous that every episode of the wire starts with a quote that is attributed to one of the characters in the episode.

Like it's an epigraph we're supposed to recognize. And then you see a character say it in the episode and you're like, oh, so they were just warning that that was going to be said at say it in the episode and you're like, oh, so they were just, it was that a layer of just a warning that that was gonna be said at some point in the episode. Everything else about the wire, super big fan of. But anyway, just as late, if you- Well, while this under complaints comma, Elliot's weird.

Now, here's the speaking of weird Elliot comments, not a complaint, but so I think a lot of people, one of the things interesting about this movie and we'll get into it later, I would like to reserve final judgment until we watch the whole thing if possible, but that it has received a lot of positive appraisal in a way that the first movie didn't. And I want to say this, here's my thesis statement for how I will be engaging and interacting with this particular textual work. This movie, I don't think it is the citizen cane of superhero movies, but I think it may possibly be the Matthew Barney's Kray Master Cycle of superhero movies.

A kind of strange, over-long personal interpretation of myth that involves a lot of various effects and things that are not meant to appear realistic or to resemble anything in the real world, but exist on a sort of metaphorical level. So as we get into the plot, there might be moments where I point out just kind of cramaster moments where I'm like, yeah, this reminds me of Matthew Barney's 7-9-hour. I forget how long Epic about the early sexual differentiation inside of fetuses as seen through the life of Gary Gilmore and Harry Houdini and the Guggenheim Museum and a bunch of other things. And I'll be comparing it to different moments featured

in the Nebling's Lied. Oh wow. Oh wow. Great. Which I think you'll see, it's gonna match up quite a bit. Yeah. I mean, if there's ever been a movie that I would say

might be qualifying as some sort of vognary and what is it? Gammout's cunts work. What is it? The complete artwork. That's my pronunciation is very several. This is edging towards that, and there's a real use of leap motifs.

Certainly, yeah. In the fact that every time you see one Roman, the same exact piece of music plays, like this is the departed and just hitting that drop kick Murphy's needle drop every single time. Well, yeah, and watching it with subtitles, because you know, I like doing that, because I was hitting the treadmill while I was doing it,

which I feel like, well, also, like Zack Snyder would approve of. Awesome. You kinda need it, you kinda need it. We were watching it and we went went like like 15 minutes in an Audrey Like just like with a pleading voice like can we turn to some time? Like because there's a lot of muttering in it. I need to know if an ancient Lamentation is playing. Yeah, exactly

You know what Elliott I think that you and I actually are I don't want to swing a thing earth Our thinking might be some potateco on this movie, but I have also got a theory, but I'll save it for later. It's not. OK, can't wait to hear Dan's theory. That's an official, that's like a foresham. It's not.

What's going to happen? It's not so much a theory, but we'll see. Part one. Part one. Your theory is that Brontosaurus' are very narrow at one end, very much wider in the middle, and then very narrow at going with the other end. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like Brontosaurus is our who is the stock model for gilded and brand t-shirts?

Elliott, I can't, the only reason I can't give you a wedgie right now, besides social distancing and the fact that literal distancing is that I knew what you were referencing. So. If you got that reference, then you do not deserve to give me a bunch of air. Yeah, I am implicated in it as well. Okay, part one is titled, don't count on it, Batman. And so this cut of Justice League, rather than a big... So that's referring to the scene where Batman receives

a broken calculator. Yeah, don't, or can't have a kiss. Don't, don't, don't, don't count on this. There's some beads missing. Um, so, unlike the theatrical cut of Justice League, which I believe started with more of sort of an info dump of, of, of, of Steppenwolf nonsense and hypercubes or whatever the fuck they're called.

Mother boxes. Mother boxes. The only mention that the phrase a thousand times in the movie. Yeah, whatever. I mean, they don't mention it that much in this cut because they're like You don't understand who cares like that's kind of this Lightly nervous of this summary now Ironically and we'll get to it. I feel like this movie lays out the information much more clearly by yeah Then they then the first move the first I I kind of agree, but then I also have,

this ties into what I was gonna say. Anyway, don't counter it Batman. Superman, in this work cut of it, it begins with Superman dying as he did at the beginning of what Batman versus Superman, Donald Justice or Indo rather. Yeah, no, no, Dan, is this in regular Mo, or is it in pasmo?

What Mo is this? This's most most mode that you Glacial mode. Yeah, you get regular mo from the Simpsons and you're like you can we turn them down Like eight notches pump the brakes, please and we see Superman He's he dies so loud that everyone across the world here's it You like the just like his death screen goes all over the place. And it's like, oh, yeah, exactly. It's like, it's like when, in the mummy, when he's running away from the sun,

you can see the sound wave is traveling across the world. And remember the mummy guy? It's what a movie. It's what a movie. People, you know, such luminary is the cyborg here, and it also wakes up. I mean, just for the record, just for the record, he does not outrace the sun in the first mummy movie.

It's in one of the mummy's sequels. Okay, that's a mummy too. That's a mummy too, important, correct. Yeah, I don't think it's the dragon's emperors too. That's part three. Yeah, okay. So cyborg here's it. Yeah, cyborg here's it.

It wakes up one of these mother boxes. That'll be important later. That's part three. Yeah. Okay. So, cyborg here is it. Yeah, cyborg here is it. It wakes up one of these mother boxes. That'll be important later. Anyway, meanwhile, Bruce, what's up with Bruce Wayne? Everyone's filming for it. Billionaire. He's going to, he's ghost of the mountains. And this house on the sea, he's asking about a guy who comes and he feeds everyone fish,

but they don't wanna tell him where he is. But one of them is Aquaman. We know this because we've seen the other version of Justice League. We've seen Aquaman by now. And you've seen the posters that have Jason Mamoa as Aquaman, like it's. Yeah.

And so, and he's like a rough and tumble dude, right? He's just like, man, whatever, I don't nobody can pin me down. Yeah, and I hope the seas maybe what like Thor in the last Avengers movie where he's like wasted all the time. That's Aquaman in this movie. Yeah, yeah, so like the bottom of the barrel version of Thor is Aquaman. Well, he's so fucking cut up, dude. Jesus Christ. Oh, he's such good shape. Oh my god. I just couldn't stop looking at this. Abs at one point he takes his fucking tank top off to go swimming and I'm like, but he's wearing jeans to swim. Yeah, crazy. That is one of my major problems with the movie. I mean, the fact also that he doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn. He doesn't. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn. He doesn to see what's under there. Yeah, come on. Yeah, yeah. But also, because he also, that he doesn't swim so much as flies through the water that bothered me more.

Because I'm like, how is he creating traction? I buy it. He also bothered, name more. Yeah. Namor's like, use the little wings on your ankles. This is, this is the dumbest thing in the world. But I like name more and more than Aquaman. I know it's a dumb thing to bring up on this stupid podcast we do.

But I like name more a lot. He's a four know it's a dumb thing to bring up on this stupid podcast we do, but I like name more a lot. He's a four year career. I'm 100%, Namo is great. Namo is what, here's the, okay. This is not related to Justice League at all, but the thing about Namo that I love is one, he is a total jerk, but he's a total jerk for a reason, which is why, literally his kingdom's been destroyed

by the surface world. Why should he not dislike and be an arrogant jerk to the surface world? Why not? Any also is trying to steal Sue Storm away from Reed Richards, like... Who's obviously not a career, but Reed Richards? Reed Richards one. No, yeah, of course.

He deserves it. Reed Richards is a... Here's the thing. Namor is a jerk and he knows he's a jerk. Reed Richards is a jerk, but he thinks he's a nice guy. So Namor, he's a jerk and knows he's a jerk. Reed Richards is a jerk who thinks he thinks he's a nice guy. So Namor, he's a jerk, and he's a jerk. Read Richards is a jerk who thinks he's a nice guy, which is kind of worse.

That's the worst kind. You've got a promising young woman, read Richards, teach him a lesson. Okay, Dan. So Aquaman, he gets asked to be in the Justice League. Does he say yes or no? Well, yeah, you know, no, it's a cute, they have a cutesy scene where they pretend like,

oh, Aquaman, Bruce, Bruce, he doesn't already know this guy's Aquaman. Aquaman's pretending he's not Aquaman. You know, they're in Iceland. Aquaman has a great brown sweater. It looks great. You just want to bury your fucking face in there. Well, as a woman does later on, we'll sing in the landings.

Yeah, I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. But, uh, yeah, Aquaman's like, I don't know anyone, anyone, anything, and he goes into the water and the women singing ice landed for a long time because this is Zack Snyder cut for a long time. It is a long time. Now I hate to pump the brakes guys, but we've already we've talked about how there's chapter titles, but there's also something specific about this movie. That's right. Just like first Cow, it's shot like it's in a square box,

to preserve Zack Snyder's artistic integrity. It's what, it's shot in 4-3. It's 4-3. This is a thing that does not bother me. There is no natural format for movies. No, it's fine. I'm just joking around. Yeah, but it is an interesting choice for a,

for what would normally be kind of like a big widescreen movie. Here, but I'm gonna mention. Well, this was all gonna be climax, right? This was, that was the point. This is fourth time because of the climax reason. Yeah, anyway. Is that my first cow was shot like that? Yeah, real big.

Yes, because first cow was meant to be for IMAX and then COVID, the theaters are all shot. Looking at how big those cakes are. Oh man, give me them cakes. You're like a phylum. So just looking at our Kramerster listings, some women singing an Icelandic Durg as one of them buries her face in a superhero sweater,

is that's pretty damn Kramerstery. And also the fact that how long is that Superman death sequence? Bruce Wayne doesn't get to that village until like eight and a half minutes into the movie, which is crazy. Almost nothing happens in the movie that we haven't seen before. And those were in eight minutes. Yeah.

And those women singing in Icelandic, that's like the nymph singing Rhinegold, dude. It's the same thing. Very much so. Well, this is like a regular lipstick trace is right here. We're finding links for art throughout the generations, you know, centuries.

Who says we're not real critics? Anyway, so Superman's mom is visiting his grave. Everyone's sad about Superman. She's moving out of her house, just for close. Geez, moving out. Yeah, Lois says well, she was engaged to Superman, but he's dead. Everyone's sad.

Got to London. This is when I started wondering, I was like, did Zack Snyder ever fill out a top 10 sight and sound list of the best movies ever? And if so, where is the November rain video on that list? That's a good point, because even God is sad, because it's crying, it's super-rinsed, great. It seems like that's as big as influence for these scenes. You know what, if in the middle of Justice League,

slash left a church to do a really long guitar solo, it would not be out of place. Or some dude just jumped through a cake for no reason. Yeah, man. I mean, we didn't watch the second half. It's possible someone jumped through a cake. We get to get a hot dog action. I feel like if we put a cake in front of fucking stepin'

Well, if he's diving through that thing. There's no way. There's no way he's not. He has to head to cake and play. Part of the cake. I mean, he's also like so stressed at work. Like, he has to please his boss. He wants that cake.

Yeah, that is not an easy boss to please from what I can tell. I mean, I haven't met Dark Side, but I have seen him as an obelisk shaped into the form of Dark Side, and he does not seem cool. And he also seems kind of boring, but we'll talk about that later. Well, it's nice. And he's also the kind of invader as we'll see who goes to the place where the other army is and just tries to defeat them in a hand-com at rather than bombing them from the skies, which is a strange choice when you have spaceships and they have horses. But then continue. So we are now in London.

There's a hostage situation. There's like school girls taking hostage. There's men with suitcases and papers flying everywhere are real. Hullabaloo and Wonder Woman. Now guys, I had a question. Is it made clear or did you recognize what this building is? I was not clear on it, no. It seems like it's some kind of bank or government building, but I'm like, if it's a bank,

wire school children on a tour of it. If it's the government building, why is there no security? Well. So it's a building that exists only to be attacked by these guys, so Wonder Woman can save them, because she happens to be hanging out on a statue nearby. Yeah, you know, if that's a real statue, then I would say that building is a building that is near that big statue. That enormous gold statue of the lady Justice. Of Lady Justice holding her up straight so that Wonder Woman can be standing on top of one of the arms.

In a shot that like, honestly made me laugh out loud when I saw it. Not because there's anything like, like inherently bad about it in a superhero movie. It was just such a silly reveal. It felt like for some reason. Oh, no, it's just, well, here's the thing with one woman is everything about her is super on the nose in this movie. Like if she's gonna hang out anywhere,

it's gonna be on the arm of a statue of lady justice. There's a part where a girl asks her, can I be like you and I go up and she goes, you can be anything you wanna be. And later, step and wolf goes, this one's mine. And she goes, I don't belong to anybody. And it was just like, Wonder Woman feels more like an idea of a Wonder Woman than a human being.

A lot of time. And I gotta give credit to Gal Gadot for bringing that idea to as much life as it has. But again, this is a metaphorical movie. It is not meant to be a representation of reality. This is the Kray Master cycle, we're the Nye Belongite. So it's like not a, it's okay for her to be on that statue and just be a walking kind of, you go girl, power woman, you know. But not power,

but not power woman who is a different character. Yeah. Well anyway, so we got your Wonder Woman. She's been introduced to the movie and she allieps into action. She. She lassoes one of these terrorists with her lasso that makes you tell the truth. Although this guy is still pretty cagey. First of all, he's like, wouldn't you like to, like basically, it's just like, you know, I figured that the lasso would be more effective, but also he calls himself a reactionary terrorist,

which seems like, yeah, that seems not. Like, yeah, a villain knowing that he is the bad guy. He also says he's like we'd like to turn the clock back a thousand years and it's like then why are you all wearing suits and hats? Like yeah, you're dressed like a 50s. Yeah, you be dressed like it's like like larping or something. Yeah, I mean they should. They should be a big crowd of cue shamans but again, that hadn't happened yet. Zack Snyder can't tell the future everybody. That's true. Well anyway.

So we get an action sequence here and it's a little, I mean, I think this is telling and you're gonna see this more throughout the movie. But like Wonder Woman in the process of saving people destroys as much shit as possible. Yeah. She like breaks everything that is, it's like, it's like firefighters show up to like a stovetop fire and they're like, well, we have this buzz saw in our fucking truck.

Now, buzz saw your door down. It was definitely my issue with this fight sequence, which is a lot of like slow motion her like, you know, like ricocheting bullets with her, her bracelets. But like, yeah, she like does that one at a time rather than taking out the dude with the gun. Yeah, she's much more interested in showing off how good she is with her bracelets than in diffusing the situation quickly. Yes, and then instead of just like tackling that guy with her like, she seems to be almost as fast as the flash, honestly, if, you know, if not as flash.

Instead of just like tackling the flash, honestly, if not as flash. Is that just tackling the dude? She mashes those bracelets together to do a sonic boom that blows out the building. And she's like, come on Wonder Woman. I'm gonna defend that, and I'm also gonna criticize it. I'm gonna defend it by saying, one, they've got to show that she has that power. And two, she doesn't come from man's world.

She prizes life over physical objects. So she has to destroy, say, a historic French church to take out one sniper in the Wonder Woman movie, she's gonna do that. That, here's the criticism. She's an archaeologist, so if anyone would not want to destroy physical objects, it is her! So there's a real tension at the heart of Wonder Woman

in that her whole career is about the preservation of ancient artifacts and her super-heroes about the destruction of modern artifacts as much as possible. Well, anyway, she saves everyone. A little girl is like, can I be like you someday? And instead of telling her the truth, which is, no, you can't.

I'm a literal superhero. You can't be like this. She hasn't like wrapped the fucking last of Hester around herself, though. Yeah, she's like, you can be be like yeah she isn't like raptor wrap the fucking last of hester around herself that yeah she's like you can be whatever you want um then the next the next scene is is that girl tying a cape to her neck and jumping off a building and and and breaking her legs oh no the movie are and wonder woman is like you can't sue me I just said she could be anything she wants so anyway we're on the, I guess the Amazon Island,

I can't remember the name. Themiscaera. Themiscaera, we're on Themiscaera. And the mother box that we saw get cracked from Superman dying. There, you know, Amazon's are protecting it. We got some of those flying robots. You might remember from Justice League, the Herodemons. Those are Herodemons.

Herodemons, yeah. To use some technical terms, a boom tube opens up from apocalypse. We don't know it's from apocalypse. It's not what you call your wiener, Dan. So stop laughing. No, it's what you call your colon and your rectum. A boom tube is what you call your rectum.

And a bunch of those Herodemons come out and who's with them? Uh-oh, Steppenwolf. That's right, the band and they are ready to jam. I gotta say, guys, if ever a movie deserves this tagline, I think here, evil gets an upgrade. Jason X and theaters everywhere. Well, I agree with you Stuart,

even though you're saying nonsense ironically, which is that like, it's my whole fucking thing. The steppet will, in this movie, look so much better than he does in the original Gessily. In my, I think that he looks, looks like, no, you're right. He's like, he has non-stop rippling fractal armor as opposed to just a dude with a big head.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it looks great. So, yeah. He looks like, he looks kind of like the Shrike from the Hyperion. Yeah. Yeah, he does look like the Shrike. Or like he's like the Shrike mixed with the destroyer

from Thor. Yeah. And later on, he has this cool little buddy that's like a little spider that comes out of his armor. And like, I mean, it's weird that that seems like his only clothes. Like even the loin glove is made out of the rippling blades shit, which is like, it's bonkers that seems like it's only closed. Like, even the loin claw is made out of the rippling blades, which is like, it's bonkers.

Again, it's metaphorical, Stewart. It's not like he changes clothes. He's the metaphorical depiction of both evil and also disappointing your father. There's the two things he represents. So, anyway. So, I assume he's, I haven't seen him, I assume he's Dark Side's son in this.

Because if he's not, why would you use Stepin Wolf and not Calaback, Dark Side's actual son? Meet me in the second half, or I'm gonna talk more about Calaback. Okay, Dan, continue. Yeah, so they're trying to protect this mother box for reasons that presumably no one understands if you haven't already seen the original cut of Justice League

other than knowing that every movie has a MacGuffin. presumably no one understands if you haven't already seen the original cut of Justice League other than knowing that every movie has a MacGuffin So they're like the abasons are throwing it around and running away with it on horses And like there's a scene where one of the abasons is carrying this like like Stone cube and I know that they're so supposed to be super strong So I'm not sure how the actors should have played it But it still looks like they're carrying a styrofoam prop. Like, there's no weight. Yeah.

I feel like this scene is more exciting in this cut than it was in the original. I don't remember the original. Though in both cases, I think it would have been much more exciting if they were riding in barrels down a river. Mm-hmm. What do you think? What if it, like, an elf maybe was jumping from barrel to barrel?

There was an elf jumping everywhere. We're out here. Yeah, and it was dark out so he didn't turn to stone. And instead of the Parademons attacking, what if they sang a song while throwing dishes about in a musical manner? Jesus Christ, Ellie, you're gonna be a fucking boner. Okay.

No, I think this is, this is a much more coherent action sequence. No, I think this is a much more coherent action sequence. And there's a fake out where you think that they defeated the bad guy for a moment, but then it turns out that he didn't. But it is a lot of, and I'm not saying this, there's anything wrong with this, if this is something you like watching in movies, there's a lot of scenes of women screaming as they either lift things or hurl things. Just tons of close-ups of women just screaming at the camera while they lift or hurl. And I wouldn't bother me as much except there's so much of it in this movie.

There's so much you just close-ups of people screaming at you. Well, anyway, so Stephen Wolf takes the first mother box, oh boy, he's got number one of McGuffin City and the Amazon's need to warn everyone else that bedtime is already coming and that leads us into part two, age of heroes. Uh huh. Um, how do they warn everybody? What? You know, seeing they were. I'm going to jump in there. Okay. I'm so they warn everybody by I'm going to jump in there. Okay. So they warn everybody by, I'm going to jump ahead because it doesn't matter the exact order on this. They warn everybody in a scene where they have to light an ancient temple on fire again because they got to get a wonder-owned attention.

And you know what it did was it made me think about how great that sequence in Return of the King is when the fucking light of fire and Howard Shores impeccable score fucking swells and you're like I believe in hope and love again. He manly can unite. Wasn't that the sequel to Mr. McGoriam's Wonder Emporium Howard Shores impeccable score? Yeah. So, um, so, Stepin Wolf to fill in just some of the stuff that's to be passed by. Stepan Wolf makes his headquarters insure noble, uh, and he's like, if I get the rest of boxes, then my boss will like me again. Yeah. And Bruce Wayne is looking for the flash with the cattiest Alfred in all of the film and television Alfred's. That's right. Jeremy Irons, because he's like, we got to find more heroes and Jeremy Irons is like do we have to

To so let's let's take a look at Alfred's for a second. We got Michael Kane of course Jeremy Irons we got who's that Sean per Tuy who's the guy is it Sean per Tuy in Gotham is Alfred Pennyworth I don't remember who's Alfred in the TV show Pennyworth Dan I Alfred Pennyworth. I don't remember who's Alfred in the TV show Pennyworth, Dan. I hate it. I don't think I've ever who's Alfred in the TV, the Adam West TV show. Oh, I don't know. That was okay. So here we go. Go or gal. I'm going to send the Tim Burton ones. I'm going to I'm going to screen rent and they're they're ranking of every adaptation of Alfred Pennyworth. Rains. Oh, ranks. Oh wow.

Uh huh. Let's see. Yeah, Sean Furtwee is in Gotham. Uh huh. Let's see. There's William Austin played Alfred in a 1940 serial. Alan Napier, that's right. You played Alfred in the Batman TV series.

This is the Adam West one. Stuart, were you just trying to... Are they ranked in... They're ranked in caddiness, right? Stuart, were you just trying to show off by showing how many Alphard's you did though. I did pretty good though. I knew I knew Jordan Pertwee. You know, I didn't realize that Ephraim Zimbola's junior did the voice of Alfred on Batman the animated series, huh? And of course there's Michael Goe or Gao who was in the Tim Burton and following Batman movies.

There's a lot of Alfred's Michael Cain. There's a lot of Alfred's, Michael Cain, of course. A lot of Alfred's, huh? So many Alfred's going on. Okay, well, let's just, come on, let's get back to the long, long movie. There's a Parademon that's looking for something at Star Labs, and yeah, and the Amazon's need to get one Roman's attention so instead of calling her, they shoot an ancient arrow of fire and a temple and hope and she finds out about it

because she sees it on the TV later. So it's not even like it's a special place she's paying attention to. I understand that you're living on this special Amazon Island but have like one phone. Just have one phone for emergencies. We're gonna haul Diana directly rather than like shooting an arrow

and hoping that she sees on TV. Because I mean, they didn't even have that Howard Shore score. So like, you can't be sure that you're gonna capture her attention. Yeah, because she's, that's what she was listening to on her headphones when she's busy, fixing whatever artifact she's looking at at the moment. Yeah, she's preparing for RPG night that night.

I feel like that's like the hidden story because they make a joke about how nobody knows what she does when she's not at work. I feel like she's got a very active like Zoom RPG life. She's the guy who has that photograph online of his Lola Bunny collection. We're just every Lola Bunny merchandise in a room somewhere. That's what she spent a lot of time on.

I can't believe you're talking about Dan like this and you don't even call him by name. Anyway, so we're back in that science building. We're trying to see what the paradigm in stool. You see Joe Morton. He's the scientist there. Didn't learn his lesson from a terminator. Yeah. Dr. Silas Stone, you know when you're talking, when you see him in a movie, the scientist there, didn't learn his lessons from a terminator. Yeah.

Dr. Silas Stone, you know when you're talking, when you see him in a movie, you know that he is up to some bad science that he means good with, but it's going to turn out bad. Yeah. So, so they're like the people are like looking for the mother box. They're like, what was this looking for? The mother, the box that it was in was empty. So they're like trying to say like, oh, like what was he looking for? He's looking for something that was stolen already.

And the parent, and the parent even's kidnapped a bunch of employees to find out if they knew where the mother box was. Yeah. And there's a funny scene where the cops like, so you're saying that, what? There's a scene where the cops like, what do you guys do here?

And he's like, oh, we study alien technologies, but you see then a big sweeping shot at the outside, and the whole like roof of the complex is open. Like this alien ship is on perfect view for all. So I don't know why this is a big secret. I just think it's interesting that you're storing a box in another box. I think it's just kind of weird, right?

Well, I mean, is it weird? It seems like a little suspicion kind of story. To be honest, of all the ways that Mother Boxes are hidden from Dark Side site in this movie, that was the best of them, considering both the Amazon's and the Atlanteans put theirs on displays, prominently on pedestals, in the middle of open rooms. And Atlantean, what else we'll see,

just has big open archways to the endless ocean. Like you can just walk in and take that mother box, which Steppenwolf eventually does. So at least the humans are putting it in a box. I mean, previously before that, though, they just buried it in the fucking ground, like... That was ridiculous. In the shallow sleep.

Not even a dream. Like a raccoon could dig that up. It wasn't even like, let alone a treasure hunter. It's like the gravy dig for your enemy that you want to be found. Yeah. So Dan, who has that mother box though as we see? Well, John Morton has taken it home to fix his, I mean, find out later. It's for cyborg his son. It's a way that like he is, he is like, brought his son to life in the form of this cyborg being. Yeah, he was like,

Mother Box or pet cemetery, I guess I only have access to one of those things. So many use it. Yeah. So, which of these can I write off as a business expense? That's true, but cemetery, they're gonna catch it because if it's one of the nests, they like some kid wrote this.

Yeah. So, but Dan, okay, one draw minute, it's time for her to find that beacon arrow. She's just gonna walk into an arson scene, an ongoing arson investigation, and no one stops her, right? This is the problem with this arrow scenario, because she goes in, there's no one at this arson, like this is on the news that there's arson, there's an important site, she finds the arrow that would have been taken presumably as evidence and she takes it and she puts it in an arrow shaped hole on the wall so she can get a secret room where she can learn all sorts of important exposition and it's like this is

a fucking mummy shit dude this is like stuff that only works by movie logic because it's like again it's not it's not it's not it's not a, it's not a, it's not real life. This is movie life. The, the world only exists for these characters to achieve their superhero existence. Yeah. You know, every character, the, the cosmos was created by a god who said,

I wanna see some superheroes fighting some super baddies. And so he created billions of years of evolution and cosmic, whatever, cosmic slop, to get to that point in history where one Roman could pick up this arrow that was meant for her, stick it in a wall slot and get some amazing. Well, she's in a LucasArts adventure game.

Yeah, and, and, and, and, and Drake is like, oh my god, that's so easy to find. I was hanging from a ledge for like 10 minutes. And this, yeah, not quite even salmon max hit the road level, difficulty in this puzzle. And so she can see all these paintings of ancient paradigms and dark sides and stuff like that. Yeah. Now, is that how she learns all about this shit?

Because she's going to explain the whole deal to Bruce Wayne a little bit. Is this how she learns it all? Or did she grow up with this info? Because if she learned all this shit from just like Like fucking freezes and shit like that's wild One she is she isn't archaeologist, but it's that's a good point I don't know this is one of those things where it is the biggest danger

Facing the entire earth and yet it has been kept a secret for thousands of years Yeah, so I don't know if they told her or not. The Amazon's all seemed to know that the Mother Box is important and they've got to protect it, which is why it's again, on a pedestal in the middle of an open room with a big open door in a cave. I take it as this is a story that all the Amazon's know. And the fact that now she is getting the key to this thing,

she realizes the danger is upon us. But that's just me, my brain trying to rationalize the movie that we're watching. I do like that they're me, my brain trying to like rationalize the movie. I do like that they're like, we are going to hide this thing. So we're going to put it on a pedestal in the middle of a room so it can be easily stolen. And we're going to hire people whose only job is to stand next to a piece of wood and they're going to blast it with a giant sledgehammer. When somebody steals it. Yeah, that was, it's not the most efficient way to protect a thing. Now Dan, this is a useless thing.

And who would take that job? It's crazy. I mean, in the Amazon, I think you're kind of, I think you're volant told to do things. I don't think you'll fly for the positions. I think the queen of the Amazon is just like, hey, guess what? You stand here your whole life in case you need you to hit that thing with a sledgehammer to close this gate, which you will be stuck behind,

and you will die in the cave. And that's a thing, like, after when you get that job, you're like, just itching to blast that thing because you will be stuck behind and you will die in the cave. And that's the thing like after when you get that job you're like just itching to blast that thing because you're like you've trained your whole life to blast that piece of wood with your sledgehammer. And even though you know it's probably not the right thing for you, you're like well that's what I've been trained to do so I'm going to do it. Think about how many centuries of Amazonians have just stood there their whole lives never hitting that thing.

Oh man. Now Dan this is again this is a nonsense tangent. Dan just because you said this is a story I want I imagined that when when a woman explains all this she did it in the form of a parody of the theme song to the fresh principle There And I think you would go a little bit like this No, this is a story all about how the earth got switched turned upside down I'd like to take a minute just sit right there. I'll tell you all about dark-sideness power team at paradeem

In the end I'm gonna go in the end of life, please. I thought we were gonna go in the direction of, this is the story of a world. I can't go any further. Yeah, for the best. Okay, so there's a boat crash, Aquaman saves someone, you know, this is not really important, just to say what Aquaman do and stuff.

Aquaman saves a man's life, and then he is such a dick about it. He's like, hey, stay out of the storm douche Yeah, and then and then he but that he walks into some sea foam. It's super emo Nick cave of the bad seeds play slow-mo slow-mo Really the bad cave is the one that the Amazon's keep that keep that mother box in because it crumbles like instantly Yeah, so

It's been there my keep that mother box in because it crumbles like instantly. Yeah. So, I'm playing. Wait, son, Nick came in of it. It's better. There, man. I was like, and I thought the band was called Nick Cave and the bad caves, which is crazy. I know it's not called that. Anyway, Nick, I'm going in. Anyway, Nick Cave's race to the cave.

So Nick Cave goes to Atlantis. So, we claim his throne. He's like, they're like Nick Cave and that's to be King of Atlantis. And he's like, but someone's got to sing these murder ballots Flected we just write the perfect movie Anyway, so aqua man swibs down. He sees his old trident, you know Volko shows up

Well, I'm defo let's just call him real as a foe Seedog willem defo from the light I we're rising his role from the lighthouse. Yeah, yeah. Very Christ. So they're talking in an air bubble, by the way, which is something that was established by his ex-citer, but then forgotten in Aquaman. But they're chatting. I'll tell you why I was forgotten in Aquaman because it is stupid for a race of beings that live underwater.

A medium that transmits sound very well. Whale sounds can be heard around the world to have to create air bubbles every time they want to have a conversation. So imagine you've got your headphones on. Your significant other is standing in the other side of the room. Maybe you're doing the dishes and they're looking at something at the computer. They go, hey, is it okay for me to go make this appointment for Wednesday? And you go, what?

And you create an air bubble. And she says, oh, just for Wednesday, you need to do an air bubble every single time, there's something like that. And you're like, every time you're, you're, you're, I need the whole sentence. I, you know, just repeating for Wednesday, I don't know what you're, it's, you know, like there's so many divorces underneath the water just because of the. Yeah. You would think that they would be think that they would develop like elaborate,

like sign language or hand gestures, like just like gestures in general, like the belters and the expand series. Yeah, there's something about, I remember watching a little bit of the Aquaman movie, and just think about what a folly it is to set a movie underwater where every single character will constantly need CGI for their hair and clothes

to move in the water. It's so unnecessarily like it's such a huge thing. It's as dumb as having to erase Henry Cavill's mustache for this very movie. We haven't even got there yet. We haven't even got there yet. Okay, so Willem Defos, like you're meant to be king and Aquaman's like, no, don't want to. Yeah. Meanwhile, Steppenwolf, he talks to Dysod.

Is that? This is Dysod, who in the the comics is dark sides kind of chief torturer he's one of dark sides right hand men and he's the one who tortures information out of people there's a great scene in the first people not granny goodness of that granny goodness granny goodness is the leader of the female furies and she teaches she she kind of indoctrinated the young of apocalypse okay which is the the planet that dark side rules in the ways of dark side. There's a great scene in the comic The Forever People Wear. The Forever People have been

kidnapped by Dessod and they're being tortured, but his headquarters is inside of a Disneyland-type theme park, and so everybody who sees them screaming assumes that they are enjoying the ride that they're on. But anyway, so, but here Dessod is kind of like Dark Side's major domo. Yeah, and I like the effect they have for him. He's sort of like a constantly melting piece of rock. He's melting into magma, or I don't know if I'm using the right words geologically, but he is like this, yeah, magman.

But so he- That's the right term. That's the technical term is magman. So, Seven Wolf is reporting to him. He's like the middle man between seven wolf and dark side and like seven wolf's like, hey, can I come home and decides like refers to some sort of like some kind of like betrayal

in the past. I don't think they get into detail here. But like seven wolf can't come home until he finishes like he conquers 50,000 worlds for Darkside. I think it was a ton. Yeah, a lot of worlds. A lot of worlds. So we have student loans level shit right there. And I've I've that that follows you your whole life. It's Stepan Wolf tries to start a business. He tries to buy a house. No man, you got to conquer those worlds. And

I've seen this in some reviews of this and you cut the movie and I agree like Steppenwolf was so boring as a villain in the original cut of Justice League just because he was like a cipher like CGI creation. Here he's sort of like the sympathetic like middleman guy where he just like he just wants to go home to his family and part of his job is conquering the earth to do that. I don't know if he's necessarily sympathetic, but he has a motivation. He has a motivation, yes. He feels like he feels like they gave him the second dimension of a character,

where as in the original version, yeah, he had one dimension, which was he's a big dude who hits things within acts. Like that was it, you know. So wonderful. And if you're going to put in your movie a big dude who just hits things with an axe like that was it you know. Um so wonderful. And if you're gonna put your in your movie a big dude who just hits things with an axe, make it a Gamorian guard, anyway Dan continue. Good point. Wonder Woman visits Bruce I think at Superman's like old chip I don't know. They're warning, she's warning him about people coming bad guys are coming.

We get into this video game cutscene like seriously the CGI looks so much worse in the sequence Yeah, I do not know if it's just like Warner Bros This is like where they like drew the line like no more money for this thing. This is the big this is the big like historical Yeah, Alliance of men and elves shit. Yeah, although I will say that David always wants back story Dan loves back story So he loves in this seat. I mean fucking David Thuelis looks so ripped, right? As aries like holy shit. Has he been fucking pushing plate? Yeah. And so like, you know, you got your aunt of the Antians, Amazonians, humans, everyone's trying to fight dark seed. And we even get a green lantern in there. Dark side. It's

all right. Dark. Yeah, get one. I'll remember the green lantern in there. Darksides, alright, darksides, yeah, get a member of the green lantern core zipping around. I actually kind of like that. That was a nice way of having other DC stuff in there without winking too hard. But you know, like, darksides deal, it's like a swarm of locusts. To have that green lantern there, it felt not like an easter egg, but like, yeah, this is part of this universe that's here, you know, what's it made? Exactly.

So, but you're saying dark side, he comes to our planets and he just kind of destroys them, right? Yeah, and like he shows up and he starts doing all the dirty, he wants to get his hands dirty, he starts kicking and swinging his blades and doing all kinds of battles. And that's kind of boring because I like dark side as like, I'm not super familiar with the character, but I played him a lot in Justice 2, which meant a lot of eye lasers. And I remember him from that Mr. Miracle comic,

I don't like that much, and he doesn't do a lot of kicking in that either. No, Darkside is very much in the comics, and there's a reason they made Darkside the villain in these movies, because he is the best of the, and the DC universe has basically three great villains, Lex Luthor, who they've already wasted

with Jesse Eisenberg's non-character. The Joker currently mired in Jared Lido's Ananity and Darkside, and Darkside is like much more of a, he is the boss, he usually doesn't go and hit people over the head and kick people, he is usually the guy who is in charge of everything. And he's got a lot of strategy problems here, which I'll get into. For instance, Wonder Woman explains that they put together three mother boxes, which causes the unity, which then wipes out basically everything on a planet and makes it unlivable for anyone except

dark side and his folks or something like that. And I don't know why Dark Side, if that's what he has to do to win, put those three boxes together on the surface of the planet. He goes to the one spot where all of his enemies have a range to be. And then it decides to just wait into them kicking and punching. And he gets taken out by getting hit with an axe a couple times. It's not an impressive showing by Dark Side. No, and I have to say, that crimaster quality you talk about, Elliot, I get the feeling that part of the reason why this part of the movie is so bad is that this is actually the part that Zack Snyder's heart is not in. This feels like the shit that the studios like, okay, we have to,

there has to be some justification, we gotta get Dark Side in here, this feels like the shit that the studios like okay we have to like there has to be some justification we gotta get dark side in here you know like give us the Lord of the Rings battle or whatever and like Zack Snyder in this movie seems much more interested in like slow motion shots of Aquaman entering the ocean. See here's where I would disagree with you Dan I think there are two sides of Zack Snyder there is a side that loves brooding, slow-mo, emo stuff. And there's the side that loves big CGI battles

where a lot of people are hitting each other with axes and hurling thunderbolt, lighting bolts at each other. And I think, look, you take the good, you take the bad, you take it all, and there you have Zack Snyder's just a sleep. So this is, but I think this is when it's, some ways this movie is playing into strengths and this way it's playing into one of the weaknesses.

But there was a certain point where I was just like, I'm just watching colors and shapes flying around the screen. That is okay. Like this is on this screen. That point was when you turned the movie on. You hit play on that side. It's just a slig. This is a big epic flashback with no characters

that we've seen before. It doesn't really make sense. It's not that exciting, but it's certainly big and loud. And at a certain point, I just, I was like, pummeled by it. But it was hard for me to, like, I like the Dark Side character so much. And I like, and I love the fourth world New God's material that he comes from so much.

So I was like, I was just disappointed to see Dark Side be like just a bruiser, you know? Yeah, I mean, that was the thing. Like I'm a sucker for this like big fantasy backstory bullshit. But yeah, like Dark Side seemed kind of boring. Like he didn't really feel like a like and then like he seems like in from my experience in the in the books and whatnot, he's like this like impeccable monolith. Like Dark Side is, like he exists and is not, you can't fight him and they just battle it. That's one side of it, but also like Dark Side,

like he's, and maybe they'll get into this, like he's a character who is an implacable monolith of evil, but he's also a guy who has two sons. One is a disappointment, and the other is his greatest nemesis, Orion. And he is obsessed with finding this thing that will allow him to conquer all life in the universe, the anti-life equation. And in the comics, it becomes almost kind of like a sad obsession that rules his life now.

Like, his life is ruined because he can't break his addiction to trying to discover this thing. His need to control the universe has controlled him and now he is no longer, he's a servant to his own side. He's like me and gambling. Yeah. Well anyway. For me and Popeyes. Anyway, but it's to be his wonder woman says this is the Atlanteans before they went underwater, but all their armor still has fish fins on it.

It's like, I don't know dudes. Maybe they just love water about it already. Just don't put that detail in. So even though like Wonder Woman explains it all at great length, it still doesn't make really all that much sense, who cares? It's the Justice League movie. So the important thing to know from it is

there are these three boxes, the Atlantean's got one, the Amazon's got one the Amazon Scott one and the human Scott one and dark sides looking for the three of them Yeah, except and the thing is like these are really the sources of Dark sides like World draining might in certain ways like I mean like he's still got power but like like these are very important items and I guess like even though like I understand they're in retreat, but dark size forces seem really cool and just like forgetting them on earth. And then like yeah, like yeah, doesn't anyone get back to say like, hey, we left your boxes

back there. Maybe same like more people this time to go get them. I don't know. I think I think everybody is, everybody's a simpherist that the planet shaking battle for Earth lasted roughly five minutes before the leader who was in front got chopped with an ax by areas a couple times and was dragged away wounded by his pair of demons and everybody else was like, good, good, get out of here. Yeah, that's what happens. I talk a lot of shit and then in Street Fighter and then my brother just hits me with a couple of Ken style sure you can send him fucking done. I'm like, oh no, I hope nobody saw that. I will say the shots, I do like the shots of those spaceships kind of with the sun behind

them and it is exactly the image I think of already when I listen to the overkill song power surge. Anyway, continue down on to the next part. Good point. Okay. Part three. Beloved mother, beloved son, we are in central city. Oh, wait, I forgot one part. So like Bruce is like gotten wonder woman on the idea that got a symbol of team, you know, some kind of world of integers or something. Anyway, beloved mother, beloved son, we're in central city. The Flash is late for a job interview.

He talks fast because he is fast. There's a job interview to be a dog walker at some pet-oriented larger service. It's a pet store that seems to also have a comic book spinner rack in front of the store. It's unclear. Anyway, as he's walking in there is a cute woman Walking out who gives him a little like you know a little flirt eyes or whatever. They seem to have a connection She gets in her car. She's having trouble getting it started and you know Meanwhile the flashes you know just being hilariously awkward trying to get this job

Not not doing so great, but he sees out the window that this truck driver who has dropped his delicious sandwich. I'm gonna jump in here, I'm gonna say 100%. If you're directing a movie and you need somebody to drop a burger, and totally ruin everyone's fucking day, because I'm trying to reach for my burger that I'm eating while doing an important task. I can do that job.

You want me to be sort of a jug head figure, a catastrophic jug head. I think that would be great casting. So anyway, this guy's, you know, he's driving a semi truck, he wants his hamburger. You know, it's gotten out of his hands. I get it. But just because it's on the floor of a semi truck under his feet doesn't mean he's not gonna keep eating it.

I would say, I would say five second rule, but I feel like it's like a five minute rule this anyway. Yeah. So this semi crashes into the car, you know, everything freezes because the flash, of course, has gone into fast motion. He has got to run and save uh... this woman from everything

uh... there's a hot dog floating in the air he puts it in the truck the truck also hit a hot dog stand this is not a cloudy with the chance of meatballs to have down the football from the sky so and there's a lot of side effect of the speed force now that like we've seen a lot of, we've seen a lot of superhero movies that have like super fast characters now. And there's something about like a guy who's super fast

where he has to like, it feels like the flash at this point has to like turn it on where he's like, oh shit, I gotta be fast now. And then all of a sudden lightning hits everything and every time he steps on anything, the fucking pavement shatters And his like clothes rip off the thing that he literally Steps out of his shoes he rips through his shoes

But the thing about the flashes powers and I think you're right Stuart He has to turn it on because he's harnessing the speed for us, right? Yeah, like it's not he's not quick silver who just has fast feet but the I've never understood how when you're super fast, apparently, you also become super strong. So you're able to pick up things that you know, like huge stones that you normally wouldn't be able to lift. Yeah, I think there's some support.

Like, they're trying to get some sort of idea of like, you've got so much kinetic energy that, like, I mean, that, like, lifting things doesn't make much sense to me. I kind of understand the idea that like, I mean, that like lifting things doesn't make much sense to me. I kind of understand the idea of like, even if I'm not sure it actually works like moving like a bullet around because you're, you know, going at the same speed as it or whatever.

I don't know. Oh, sure. I mean, to be honest, and all, I mean, I really have no complaints about how the flash, if I'm gonna complain about the flash, it's gonna be the fact I think his characterization was inspired by the Bazinga T-shirts that looked like the Flash logo. Is there really pulling a big bang theory with this? Yeah, I mean the presentation of the flash.

Look, everyone, I will say I think everyone's doing their best as actors. They're all doing pretty good jobs. I'm not blaming the performer. I'm not performing as a Miller or the performer. They're all doing pretty good jobs. I'm not blaming the, I'm not, I'm not performing as a Miller, the performer. They're doing a great job. It's the, it's the, this is a character conception and writing thing. Where like you gotta have your,

you gotta have your awkward character, and I guess it's gonna be the motor mouth. Yeah, well anyway, as we all know what happens in these situations, the flesh, saves the girl he was making eyes at, he rushes back to the job interview. Now he's got a hot dog in his pocket, so dogs love him. I guess he's hired anyway. I mean, it's kind of a fun scene.

The worst I have to say about it is the music choice is kind of weird. Like it's a very slow, how lewis style song. Well, that's again, that's Zack Snyder. Everything is, even a fun scene, has scored as if a character is trying to save someone from the Holocaust and failing. Whoa. So, an Atlantean gets his mind read to show where the mother box is. By little spider that lives in step and wolf sleep.

Great. I like this guy. Lowest lane continues to be sad. You know, there's a scene where like now Wonder Woman and bats are getting the band together. They're figuring out who they're going to go. They're splitting it off. And so we get a bit of a cyborg flashback. He's a great football player, but he's also a hacker. So he's in trouble at school. He hacked some like a neighbor's grades to improve them because her mom died or something like she was having like she's so distracted that

she wouldn't have done well and her mom standing up from. He's a star athlete, a genius hacker, and also a warrior for social justice as well. And his mom speaks only in kind of like, like, like mom, like poster quotes, you know? Later on she's like, she's like, you're so great now. I can't wait to see how great you'll, what you'll, how great what you are will be

or something, I don't remember this is. But she talks mainly in you're so great now. I can't wait to see how great you'll, what you'll, how great what you are will be or something. I don't remember this is. But she talks mainly in inspirational aphorisms. Yes. And her, yeah, he's so, he's close to his mom. His dad, however, does not there to see him when the football game, which is, of course, the saddest thing that can ever happen, movies have taught us a father missing a football game. And the movie goes into, underline this, there us a father missing a football game and the movie goes

into underline this. There's a car accident after the game where the mom dies and the son almost dies, but for his dad's intervention. And you know, that's why you don't miss these football games because everyone's going to die. Later on, he says to his dad, mom would be with us if you had been there. And I'm like, I don't, it is your dad to admit a force field that be with us if you had been there. And I'm like, I don't, does your dad emit a force field that keeps cars from hitting your car? Yeah. I don't understand.

I guess it was because they're kind of like arguing about him at the time, but that seems like a really roundabout, blaming away with the, anyway. So, like, so his dad who is Silas Stone that the scientist from Starlabs is guilty of many things, but I don't, I don't think that he's not being

at the football game directly led to the car crash. I'll say that, Cyborg. Yeah, so, and he saved his son, turned him into a Cyborg, and he is not happy about this. Yeah, this, yeah, the Cyborg's not happy. He's trying out his new powers. He's connected to the net,

like a lawnmower man of some kind. Mm-hmm. And I gotta say that, I mean, I don't know. I liked a lot of this stuff just because he was such a non-entity in the original cut. And I'm like, okay, there was a story here. There's interesting stuff here. It's definitely improvement. I think it's very funny that his dad chooses to leave him a cassette tape message in which he's like, look, the only way I could save your life was to turn you into a lawnmower man who can control all of the world's military and financial power

with with with but a thought. So your robo god now, the responsibility is on your shoulders for the entire world to be okay. Deal with it. 18 year old son. No, that is totally like because we see him like yeah he's like told us to manipulate the world's finances would be child's play to you and like this is all visualized in you know cyber land and now he is yeah he is god he's making choices about people's morality and rewarding them. Yeah, because he's like looking he's making choices about people's morality and rewarding them. Can you guys read that? Because he's like, he's like, cyber stalking this woman, you know, over very security cameras, watching her like, do virtuous things, but being beaten down by her life. And he's like, well, I'll give you $100,000.

What's amazing to me is it turns out all of the closed circuit television cameras and Gotham are linked to the same database that's searchable by name and That edits the footage for you to give you just the most pertinent information to deciding if they deserve a hundred thousand dollars or That will help you. Yeah, and he and he but at the same time he has all this power But he also you know, he looks like a robot man. So like he's bumming right like yeah He's like he looks like a Robo man. So like, he's bummin' right? Like, he's like, he's like Hellboy, he's like, I wish he didn't look like this, you know? Like, I would think like, if you could do all that shit, like, who cares, man? Honestly, this stuff is interesting

and it's just getting sort of like ruined by his ex-nighters need to like lay it on as thick as possible because it isn't possible for me to watch this without being like, okay, number one, you're just stalking this woman. And number two, like the message just seems to be like, now I am God. And I decide who was virtuous, you know? Yeah. Now, I just joked around about him being like, like, why would he care about what he looks like?

But part of it is because his character feels so, like, out of touch with humanity in a way, like he's like, I'm talking to this plane, I'm talking to this thing, like. So it seems like he's already transcended his humanity. So it seems weird that he's hung up on, yeah, being this now, you know what I mean? Well, I've said that he is in the process of transcending his humanity and he's not there yet.

I think it's that painful time when he is turning into the post human that he will be, but he still has the mind and the drives of a human. And he misses those things. It's the old, you know, the old saw about the king and the peasant, or the king is all the power, but the peasant can go do whatever he wants whenever he wants, whenever he wants, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah, I mean, also I think maybe it's...

Maybe, is that an old saw? Look, don't use that old saw. It's not sharp enough. You're not going to be able to cut through that wood. Get a new saw, it's a rusty saw. I mean, I just wonder if it's like also one of these cases where like he believes himself to be a robot, not a true man anymore.

So he leads into that whether unconsciously or consciously. Who knows? We're psychoanalyzing this character. We're psychoanalyzing the character, Cyborg, who is a teenager who was brought back to life using an alien box. And his dad was like, the only way I could bring you back to life was to give you boot jets so you can fly. So you look like a real iron man.

Anyway, the flash goes to visit his dad in jail, daddy issues all over. Dad has been put away for falsely question work, being accused of killing mom, and the dad is like, who's dad? Is that Billy Cruda? That Jim Kovizol, who is that? No, it's Billy Cruda. I Jim Cavizel, who is that? No, it's Billy Cruda. I got it with one. We got it wrong last time. Dad is like, please live your life, stop coming to see me,

stop living for you, for me, sorry. Anyway, the flash goes back to his layer, all sad and. Okay, here's, I've got a problem with the flashes layer. Let me talk about the flashes layer for a second. The flash has goes to an abandoned train yard or something, because again, this is Central City, which is kind of like a downtrodden, blue collar industrial town in the DC universe.

And he's got his layer, which is, it should be Batman's layer. Like Batman's layer is ridiculously high tech. And the flashes layer should be like a computer and like a bookcase, but he's got so many screens, and the screens are up higher than you can see or they're behind other screens, and I was like, what does he need? I don't understand what this seems beyond the capabilities of a guy who is scrambling to get a dog walker job.

Well, also, I have to assume that fancy outfit, that's the more of a freebie like. He has a fancy outfit with display lights underneath it. Yeah. Like you would have in a museum, but I have to assume that he's stealing all this stuff, using his flash powers. Like, if he's stealing all this stuff, why is he working so many jobs? If he's comfortable stealing stuff, why isn't he just breaking his dad off-percent? Yes, yes, yes.

A very elaborate and complicated set of ethics for different situations that we do not get into in the movie Where some things are worth stealing for a greater good and some things are not some laws Exit and who makes those decisions the flash makes those decisions and you trust the flash to make those decisions This guy's pulling hot dogs out of the air. I don't think so stuff in his pockets full of hot dogs Mm-hmm. So he'll steal a hot dog out of the air and he'll steal a TV, but he won't free his own father from jail. Flash, you've been busted. Yeah, okay. Well anyway, the flash goes back to his layer. Bruce Wayne's there. He introduces himself as such and the flash doesn't know who Bruce Wayne is, which is weird.

It's like, you didn't know who Elon Musk was or whatever, I don't know. But anyway, Bruce recruits the flash for his super team. The flash. Another moment, they want to show that the flat, this is a classic thing in the flash now that he uses up a lot of energy so he's always eating high calorie food. They walk out of the flash's headquarters and he's got a whole box of pizza. And it's like, we didn't see him bring that pizza with him. So that's gross pizza.

That's just been sitting on a table for hours. How many days? I think they have addressed that like, he just has to turn that speed force on. Then he can go get a pizza. He can go steal all of his stuff. Yeah, that's a good point. He's just stealing pizzas left and right

like an inch turtle. Yeah. Well, anyway, the flash is desperate for friends. So he goes with Bruce. He's like, what are you superpowers again? And Bruce Wayne says, I'm Rich, which was in the other cut, too. But I thought, that's a pretty funny line in both of them. Yeah, that's a great line.

That's a fantastic line. And I feel like there should have been a moment where Barry Allen's like, okay, so if you're super rich Can you can you buy a lawyer to get my We can do a trade Also buy my aunt's house for her, please and Bruce Wayne is like I can buy the house I can't buy a lawyer I can hire a lawyer and flash is like you knew what I meant come on We're getting to the we're getting to one of the highlights of the movie right when Alfred man splains to one room higher a lawyer and flash is like you knew what I meant. Come on. Yeah. Yeah.

But we're getting to one of the highlights of the movie, right, when Alfred man splaines to Wonder Woman had a make T. Yeah. I mean, like, yeah, the joke, the joke being that Wonder Woman is making T and Alfred is British. So even though he personally would not like a cup right then, he cannot stop looking over shoulder and giving her pointers. This is one of those scenes where usually in a non-four hour version of a superhero movie,

it ends up on the cutting room floor. But it's four hours, shove it in, sure, we'll have the T-lesson. Yeah, but also, so one of the woman's on, like doing computer stuff with the screen. Oh, a hacked message comes in. It says, me here now, and it's's in a ransom font with like all different letters, even though their cyborg controls the internet and you could just do it in one font. He's cutting up magazine websites

and then he's pasting them together. Yeah, it's like she started up one of those old ads before a DVD that's like, you wouldn't steal a DVD, would you? But so Wonder Woman meets Cyborg. She asks him for help and he's like, fuck the world and tries to be like,

I shut myself off. She tries to be all, I shut myself off once and seems like she's got to convince him to reengage with humanity but he flies away back to his own grave stone. Anyway, where he buries the mother box, right? Is that what happened there? I've missed that part.

I believe he buries the mother box. He buries the mother box under about an inch of dirt at his mother's actual grave. Because what is a coffin, but a mother box for some people. Thank you Stuart, thank you for plotting that. The, there was a, when, when a woman was like like I lost someone once and I shut myself off for a while, I wanted her to turn to the audience and be like, do you buy that as a reason I didn't do anything

about World War II? Do you buy that? Because I was in the into World War I and then I didn't help anybody else ever again. Yeah and I also didn't do anything until 1984 and then everyone seemed to forget when I saved the world Because now people are confused by me now in the present anyway It's pretty funny that in that in the previous movie Batman learns about Wonder Woman from that old photograph from World War 1 When he there was probably footage of her from the 80s doing her stuff, you know Okay, well parody demons take Joe Morton away. We see JK Simmons as a commissioner Gordon. People think that, you know, there's drawings of these parody demons that looks like Batman.

He's like, you know, I'm talking to him tonight. Yeah, bring me pictures of Spider-Man. Yeah. Ham, ham, Christmas ham. Anyway, so. Batman and I have a hangout planned for tonight. So I'll bring it up to him. A game night is tonight, me and the bat.

So the flash, Wonder Woman and bats are all together. We get a CGI amber her heard underwater in a different scene. I mean, I'm just, you know, we're so near the end here of the end of the middle. Step and Wolf goes, she, a step and Wolf goes to Atlanta's and he fights Mira and Aquaman and he beats him up and he steals the mother box. And Aquaman is, and she, and Mira is like, hey, you need to help people. Aquaman's like, well, I never knew my mom. So no, and leaves. Yeah. And this is the point when Audrey suggested league in the theater and 4d a bunch of watercut squirted around oh fun oh that would have been awesome I wish some of these

squirted water on me was anyway now seven wolf is two boxes one to go yeah they're looking for the third and we that brings us into part four Change machine. It's not about quarters guys Is it maybe I don't know Gordon Commissioner Gordon meets Batman Wonder Woman and Cyclops and the flash Cyclops is there wow Cyclox. Yeah, sorry. I just have psi in my notes, and my brain was, yeah, there's a bunch of, and you're like, you're like, wait, is psi young?

The famous picture there? No, no, it's cyclops. Is it Cyrus the virus? It's a blah, blah, blah, exposition scene, blah, blah, blah. I don't know. This is like, they're like, go someplace and fight people. And now that's step and wolf has two boxes, he turns his hideout like he creates a

giant energy scrotum over his hideout and it looks really normal. Yeah, it makes a big energy scrotum so that he can get it. I assume retract when it's cold. So the commissioner Gordon scene, they're basically telling us information we know, but he gives them information that help them find the nest of paradigms with a kidnaps the star lab's employees. Okay, that's what's good. So there's a big fight scene. I don't it's so fucking like there's nothing interesting about it. They're just fighting, you know, fighting my in my notes for this scene. This is where I wrote getting bored of this now. Yeah, yeah. Uh, so, uh, they and that Batman calls out, Alfred is like I'm going to need the night crawler.

And I was like, night crawlers. Yes, that would have been amazing, right? But no, it's some kind of, it's just kind of like a walking tank like in Ghost in the Shell. Yeah, it's like a spider tank that has guns on it. So Batman's like, well, the the tanks, the one that has the guns, not me. I'm not a coward. I'm still not using guns.

I'm using up the buttons and the tank is firing them, you see? Anyway, they basically like lose this fight and like a, an underwater pipe cracks and, you know, like they would drown, but except Aquaman shows up. You know, thing that's like honestly unclear, like Audrey was like, did he break the pipe open? I'm like no, no, I think the pipe just broken. He's there to save them He's there with the power of the plot needs him to be there. Yeah, and so he saves them blah blah

Well, that's great whatever so steppenwolf touches the mother box and he's like oh shit like they're all here and there's crap circle patterns and This is like as yeah, go on. I know what, actually you say what you're gonna say and then I'll say what I was gonna say. Well, this part is kind of confusing because like Seppin Wolf is like being like, okay, well, we wanted the anti-life and that's on this earth, but it's like, it's hard to tell like what he was supposed

to have known about what is on Earth at the beginning of the movie versus now because I guess he only knew that there was one box here before and now it's like it's all here I don't know somehow so here's so here this is a confusing sequence he's he touches the box and he sees something that dark side saw back in the other flashback. And he realizes this planet is the planet that defeated dark side thousands of years ago, which you'd think they'd know that if there's already mother, he's looking for mother boxes

on the planet, why would he think they're there if he didn't know that this was the planet that they left a bunch of dark mother boxes on? But what he learns is that Earth is also the location of the anti-life equation, which they don't really explain what it is in this movie, but I'll tell you what it is Dan. If it's the same. Well, I mean the name seems self-explanatory,

but sure, go on. Well, they say anti-life is here. In the comics, the anti-life equation is literally like a mathematical formula you can possess in your mind that gives you the ability to control the conscious minds of living beings. And so dark side, he wants the ultimate control, which is control of the thoughts of all the beings in the universe. And he's always looking for the anti-life equation, which will give him that control. It seems like a huge fucking pain in the ass.

It is a pain in the body. And when Orion gets it, in Walt Simonson's run of Orion, which is fantastic, and I recommend it to anybody, it is a pain in the ass and it's a big responsibility. But so that's so this is a he kind of like half explains this stuff to Dissaud and Darkside, but it is unclear Yeah, if they didn't know that this was the planet they left their mother boxes on why was Steppenwolf looking for mother boxes on this planet? What's that all about? Yeah, Alfie. Yeah So anyway, so that all happens blah, blah, blah, blah. We go back to where like Superman's ship is. They're like talking about strategy. Cyclops. And cyborg has brought over his... Cyclops

is also could be there. Cyborg brings over his mother box. So him bearing it as mom's grave was meaningless. It didn't matter. He just dug it right up again the neck, like a couple hours later it seems. Yeah. So like I'm imagining Cyborg in the rain clutching it as mom's grave the way cyclops clutch is at the team gray scrape, right? Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Well, anyway, Cyborg explains what his whole deal is and he's, you know, like, oh, this is alien technology revitalized me. They're like, oh, this is the mother box. It's a matter manipulator. We can maybe bring Superman back to life because we got so destroyed the last time we tried to fight. Well, he says the mother boxes seem to have woken up when Superman died. They heard his scream and they woke up almost as if they were afraid to conquer the world for dark side when Superman was alive.

That like the mother boxes are afraid Superman could defeat them. So we got to bring him back. Yeah, and then there's also there's a weird scene in here where Martha, Superman's mom visits Lois and they have coffee And then there then also there's a weird scene in here where Martha Superman's mom visits Lois and they have coffee and Lois has a mental work since Clark died and Martha's like come back to the living and then she leaves and it turns out she's secretly the Martian manhunter and you're like so was she the Martian manhunter the last time we saw her in the

movie was that real Martha Kent and like why is the Martian manhood or feel like he has to take the form of like Lois's Dead fiance's mom to talk to her like I don't I'll raise you one more Dan. I'll raise you one more. Why does the Martian man under feel like he needs to get involved in Lois's career and emotional development? Yeah. So let's see, maybe he's the ultimate chess master. Yeah. He's a superpower, right?

So I have no idea whether this is going to pay off later, we're just going to be a really strange interlude in the movie. But maybe he's got a bounty contract on Superman and the only way you can find Superman is by getting low so like figure a shit out. I mean if you've got a Jones for John Jones. Perfect. You did it. Absolutely done. So anyway, so we end this chapter on the heroes contemplating using the box to return Superman saying there's no us without him.

Guys, I'd like to do something next chapter. Sometimes dad is better. That's all. I'm going to do something unprecedented in a flop house lore. A new segment called middle judgments where you don't necessarily say what you think overall because how can you, but if there's anything that you wanted to say that didn't fit into the rest of it. How can you know after only watching the first two

and a half hours of the movie? But I agree, Dan, we gotta see how it plays out in the last hour 40. Yeah, I mean, I just wanted to say like my thing with it so far is that I think, you know, tentatively like, I'm kind of enjoying it. It's definitely like, in the traditional senses of the word, it's probably a better cut of the movie, just in the sense that it feels like a coherent vision,

rather than something that was cobbled together by a studio, which the other one definitely felt like. It is super self-important. But like at least it kind of looks neat and is less mean spirited weirdly than the previous couple's ex-nighter superhero movies. But I do think that it is hard to understand without actually having seen the theatrical cut like this, this works. That's the theory I wanted to say before.

Like this works as well as it does kind of in relation to the previous shitty cut that we saw that move the story along told us quickly what things were and like prepared us to like lower our standards. Anyway, that's my theory. But I would disagree that it is only clear if you watch the other movie. I think if you don't watch the last two Zack Snyder movies, it's obviously incomprehensible. But I think that they're actually doing a better job of making at a coherent story and coherent characters and things like that. But what you can do when you have this much time to play around with it, I mean, it's an

interesting case study because like there is no, there is no world in which a four-hour cut of a superhero movie would be the first cut released to theaters. There's, I mean, maybe after this one is a success in some form, that'll lead to, but there has to be a first one and it was only going to happen on a streaming platform and not in a theater. I think that, yeah, it's a much clear look so far at Zack Snyder's vision. And once I do not, once I stop trying to compare that vision to reality or find any sort of meaning in it, I can enjoy it more as Kray Master type art spectacle. You know, Kray Master has some meaning to it, I guess, but once I stop trying to puzzle

out what is this movie about? Because it's not about really anything. But it is a, I feel like he is taking so far, characters and using them as metaphors, but they're not really metaphors for anything. Like it's, I feel every Marvel movie is kind of about a pretty simple idea, about like never give up, or like you gotta take care

of each other. And this one, I don't know what it is about other than that. Sometimes when aliens attack, you gotta take care of each other. And this one, I don't know what it is about other than that, sometimes when aliens attack, you gotta build a super team. Like that seems to be the lesson of it. And so I'm enjoying it on a purely style level. But if you asked me like, oh, is this, is it was there a reason to do a four hour

justice league movie that takes itself super seriously? I would have to say, not entirely, but we'll see maybe the less hour 40 we'll convince me otherwise. Yeah, I mean, I think the, from what we've seen, this is clearly a better version of this movie. It's not particularly a high bar to clear because the original was not very good. The first one was bad. Yeah.

And I think the two previous X-Nighter superhero movies, Man of Steel and Batman vs Superman, they felt so impatient in a way. Like, he clearly knew what he wanted to do. And he felt forced to like throw in shit, to just like, to get to the points that he wanted to. Like, and so it never felt like it did the homework. to like throw in shit, to just like to get to the points that he wanted to. Like, and so it never felt like it did the homework to get to the emotional payoffs that he was expecting to hit. And I don't know if he's doing that yet, but at least the movie makes a little bit more

sense than the previous movie. I know. There's a previous version. Somehow this movie is feeling less, even though it is constant emo sadness, it's feeling less bleak to me than Superman versus Batman, where, and maybe it's just because it's about characters, heroes starting to work together rather than that movie,

which was so much about them hitting each other in the face with filthy urinals. Like, there isn't anything in the movie that yet that speaks so far at least to me as with so much disdain for humanity as some of the scenes in Batman vs Superman. And it shows you that like you can make a movie feel more bleak by adding humor to it.

Like the last Justice League cut felt really grim to me. And it's partly because the contrast between the just reading humor and the like grim stuff. Yeah, the lack of color in every scene possible. Very strange. But stay tuned for our final judgments in the next episode of the flop house watches Zack Snyder's Justice League for real. a bad mother, a podcast about parenting. Parenting is hard and we have no advice,

but we do see you doing it. Paul, if you like to do it, what was, didn't we have a bumper sticker a while back that was like, Paul, if you did it? That's what I thought. I think it was honk if you're doing it. Why did we not ever make them? We did like them.

I think they're still in the Max Fun store. Hong Kong, you're doing it. Thanks, Ms. So are you. Each week we'll be here to remind you that you're doing a good job. You can find us on MaximumFun.org. Hong Kong, tuh tuh. I started listening to Ono Ross and Carrie shortly after I broke my arm.

I couldn't get my book started. I was lost, honestly. I knew it was time to make a change. There's something about Ono Ross and Carrie that you just can't get anywhere else. There's thought leaders, discoverers, founders. I'd call them heroes. Ross and Carrie don't just report on French science, spirituality, and claims of the paranormal.

They take part themselves. They show up so you don't have to. But you might find that you want to. My arm is better. I wrote an entire book this weekend. It's terrible, but I did it. Just go to maximumfund.org. Thank you, Ross and Carrie. Thank you for crossing, Carrie.

Oh, and a crossing Carrie is just a podcast. It doesn't do anything. It's just sound you listen to in your ears. All these people are made up. Goodbye. Okay. Well, the flop house is sponsored in part by Squarespace. With Squarespace, you can create a beautiful website to turn your cool idea into something all sorts of people can see across the internet blog or publish content, sell products and services of all kinds, and much, much more in Squarespace we'll do that for you by giving you beautiful customizable templates created

by world-class designers, everything optimized for mobile right out of the box, a new way to buy domains and choose from over 200 extensions and free and secure hosting. Head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Now, Dan, I don't want interrupt. That was a great read. I had an idea for a website interrupt, that was a great, that was a great read. Thank you. I had an idea for website and I was hoping Squarespace could help me with it.

Please, please. I was kind of inspired by the Hullabaloo around the Snyder Cut and that's why I'm starting my own service. It's www.Snydercuts.com. Snydercuts Beef. Snydercuts Beef brings you steaks three to four times larger than your average steak Rather than that pink or red it is a uniform gray and it comes with a special marinade that tastes like ashes and tears That's www.snyder cuts steak. That's beef that brings you all the qualities of a Zack Snyder film in the form of a cow

You know, this is the first time I've ever suspected you of prewriting one of these because it's a little too good. Ellie, you're saying there's all off the dome off the dome, Dan. You're saying there's a bonus service that if somebody orders enough beef that they'll also get Snyder cuts hair where he will cut three to four extra inches off of your hair and it will be great at the end of it. Yeah, well, strangely enough, he cuts more off your hair and yet your hair is longer than when you started.

Snyder cuts hair, he actually adds extensions to the hair. It does turn your hair gray and when you look in the mirror, you'll be overcome with sadness and in the mirror in this case is the ocean. So that's Snyder cuts hair, that's if you have a membership at Snydercuts.com, Snyder cuts your place for sad beef. Well, that's really useful, Elliot. Now, why don't you do an ad for someone who's actually giving us money, not a made up product? I would love to, Dan.

Hey, now more than ever, Storyteller, this is our episode is also brought to this episode by Storyblocks. Now, more than ever, Storytellers and content creators, like Zack Snyder, are challenged with producing more video content at a higher quality than ever before. Sometimes you gotta take a two hour movie and turn it into a four hour movie. Well, keep up with that growing demand

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That sounds wonderful. I don't know if you guys have a personal plugs, do you have anything personal? Hey, we're talking about, this is a little personal. We're talking about comics. So as we'll mention again, maniac of New York number one and number two

from Aftershocks comics written by me that comics shelves now maniac of New York number three comes out April 14th. So ask your comics to afford these have been selling fast. If you are you want you watch Zack Snyder's grim take on the Justice League and you want my grim take on commuting in New York, get maniac of New York. And not to not to play digital comics or anything,

but if you can't, if you're having trouble finding a comic shop or a specialty store where you can get the book, it is available on comicsology, so you can get it digitally. Yes, it is available day and day on comicsology, so if you're having trouble finding a store near you or if the stores near you are sold out and you just cannot wait for a second printing

in case there is one, the second printing of number one, I don't know if it sold out yet, but it might be close to. They are available on Comic Solidie and you can read them on your own home tablet. Just watch out because it might scare you so much that you drop the tablet and it breaks. Oh yeah, I'll shatter your tablet. Yeah, it's a shatter tab read. Uh huh. Uh, and yeah, I'll recommend my bars bars check out my bars hey do you have you ever heard of proclin new york well i have because i live there and we have bars

here to them uh... hinterlain's bar and minis bar please come by uh... we need your help if you're uh... you know others getting better yeah i mean if you're nervous about uh... uh... indoor uh... stuff if you're nervous about indoor stuff, if you're not vaccinated yet, they both have lovely back-eared areas. But I've been vaccinated, baby. Check me out.

I'm gonna live forever. Now, let's make it clear that you are one of the groups designated to be able to get the vaccine. I feel like- Yeah, I didn't like break in and still have the vaccine. I feel like there's so much like internet shaming of people like that's fucking sucks. The weird like like uneven outroll of this stuff and we all understand that it's difficult and we all wanted as soon as possible but we also want to make it clear that you know we're doing our part by getting vaccinated

legally as soon as we can. No, I trust up like fucking Mr. Six and I went to the fucking place and I was like, please one vaccine for an old man. Yeah. The vaccination works best when everybody gets it. So everybody, if you can all get it as quickly as you can, legally, that'd be great.

Hey, you know what, why not? I'll say this. I'll plug it as quickly as you can, leave a link, that'd be great. Hey, you know what? Why not, I'll say this. I'll plug you a thing. I, my own personal Instagram, I keep private, because you gotta have at least some parts of your life that you don't expose to the world, but you can look at my cats. I have a new cat Instagram.

It's called Archie underscore and the word and not ampersand. And Archie and Panda. And it looks very skeptical right now. Yeah, well, he doesn't like cats because they make him sneeze, which is, you know, perfectly. Excuse me. I like cats when they are Judy Dinch, slathered in CGI, just not in real life.

Yeah. Um, so that's all important plugs. Yeah, equally important plugs. Uh, hey, why don't we do some letters from listeners? This first one is from Dan last name withheld. Who writes? If by internet decree, you couldn't flop movies anymore, what other form or forms of terrible media would you pivot to in order to keep the podcast going?

Elliot would you tackle the later super problematic comics of Frank Miller? Stewart, wouldst thou engage in melee combat with the works of Burzum? Is that Burzum? Well, that's an orcish term, but it's Burzum, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, probably not, but go on. Dan, would you quantifiably determine the most off-putting literary sex scene? Do you have a specific album, book, painting, or dare? Dare I say it podcast already in the chamber for day one episode one of flop house 2.0 I'd love to hear what else you'd flop if movies were suddenly off the table stay safe and stay cool cool dudes Dan last name with held I'm gonna jump in there Dan last name with held now at least I was I was too busy thinking so I didn't hear what you suggested for Dan, but I think the things you suggested for Elliot and I are more problematic than

just artistically bad. It feels weird, as much as I, you suggested that I talk about, I like heavy metal and you suggested I talk about a foundational second-way black metal artist who is a murderer and a racist, like, no, I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna single boost that shit. It. But like, I talk about bad heavy metal,

but I feel like if I was gonna talk, I'm hesitant to do more pop culture critique, but I guess, I mean, we kinda use it as more than anything as a jumping off point to be silly boys. But I feel like if I was gonna pick a medium that I am passionate about, like I am about movies, I'd probably pick like comic books, like I'm very passionate about comics,

but I don't know what specific, I don't have a specific one queued up that I'm very passionate about comics, but I don't know what specific, I don't have a specific one queued up that I'm like, I can't wait to roast Chris Wairz, fucking Ackney novelty live prayer. The novelty has worn off Chris. Yeah, I think if for some reason, the law came down that we can no longer do podcasts about bad movies,

I might take the time to try to do something not based around bad media, so I have to like subject myself to things that I know are not quality. When there's, I have only, I'm getting older, I only have so much time in this universe. I've got a, why, why, spent on that? That being said, what comes to mind right off the bat, long time listeners know that there's a particular song that I think is the worst song ever written, and I hate it, and that's Kokomo by the Beach Boys. And I could see doing the podcast,

maybe a whole series taking that song apart and pointing out why it should not exist and also why it's problematic. It's gross that it's essentially a song about a rich, old or middle-aged man trying to tempt a young girl to come with him to a mythical island where she'd be at his mercy. But on top of that, if I couldn't do a music podcast, you know that the thing I'd love to tear into are all those municipal sculptures of Robert Indiana's

love. Not a fan, don't like it. There was a summer I had to walk past that damn loves sculpture in Midtown Manhattan every day when I was working in Midtown Manhattan. It was the worst moment of my day every time. No man, I had to walk by that thing. Oh man, oh man, somebody put a nickel in L.A. It's somebody holding back. Yeah. And I know that it is very privileged of me to say that the worst moment of my day at that time was looking at this sculpture for a moment as I walked past it. Obviously there were worse things going on in my life. I was depressingly lonely and at a terrible place. But it all seemed to come to a head when I would pass by the love sculpture. A huge sculpture winking at me about the thing that at the time I felt I would never receive. So Robert and Diana, who died a few years ago,

you just got roasted. Oh wow. Tap dancing on his grave. Yeah, I mean, Yeah, I kind of agree with Elliott in that, like, I don't want to commit myself to more bad shit. Well, the thing is, like, about movies, like, they're kind of perfect for this sort of format because the time investment is lower than reading a terrible novel. And meanwhile, like, I don't know what I'm going to do, like, do the museum of bad art is a great place to go, but I'm not going to do, you know, more than five minutes of material on, like a bad painting someone did.

Like, I think I would do something rather than bad. I would just like do something with a fun of it was how obscure and unimportant to anything going on in current day life. It is like I'd be like, oh's do a podcast that goes through all the little Lulu comic books you know like let's pick something very esoteric and just like focus on that because what the hell does it matter like when it comes down to it like podcast I enjoy or more about like the people who do them than the topic I feel like our next podcast is gonna be Dan baking stuff

and we're all together and then we all get to eat it and eat on mic, which is what people call. Everyone loves it. People love that sound, yeah. I'm gonna get to hear the yummy sounds. Yeah. Final letter. Well, that's it.

If you heard it, that's the announcement. Our next podcast, the bake house. Final letter for this episode. In Flapp House house mini number four I added a piphany while listening to Stuart's description of the fast nine trailer in which Vin Diesel quote catches a car while surfing on top of another car. We're all familiar with Ding Dongate and this fast nine trailer we have another instance of Stuart's interpretation of events diverging

from the on-screen reality. Here we go again, and it occurred to me. It occurred to me, is this house Stuart always sees the world looking through Stuart's eyes? Does everything appear just one notch cooler than it actually is? Think about this. It would explain so much, it may be the grand unified theory of Stewart John lasting with held. I think that's a pretty good theory.

Yeah, I mean, it's possible. I mean, it's also weird when I'm like, always right. Oh, yuck. Okay. Thanks for writing in. I'm glad that you enjoyed those trailers and the movie cast freak Real pro this guy who just like pivots Okay, well, I guess that whimper means it's time to move on to the final segment of the show Which is where we recommend a movie say you don't have the four hours to spend on the recut version. Oh, you don't know

It's gonna recommend a recut version of a thing that really got to me was seeing people on Twitter being like Hey, this X-Nighted cut comes out tomorrow. I guess I'll watch the original tonight so I can compare the two. And it's just like, how much time do you have on your hands? Yeah. You can watch six hours of two versions of the same movie. Back to back. I saw a fellowship of the rings seven times in the theater,

but I was also in college and didn't have a particularly active social life. Well, the movie that I'm going to recommend proves that I couldn't complain that about other people wasting their time. I'm going to recommend a little movie from 1993 starring one Drew Barrymore, and it is is called doppelganger. This movie is ridiculous and I really loved it. It feels like it is definitely like an American jello type thing. It is like a brined-up Alma movie pumped up to 20 with like I don't know showtime after hours production quality. Drew Barrymore in the lead playing someone

who's supposed to be possibly threatening during that like period where they tried to sell Drew Barrymore as if she wasn't like inherently just like sort of sweet and lovable rather than, you know, like, they try to make her minising. And it's a, it's a, it's a very strange movie that you think might end up, you know, like, with a conventional twist or two,

and it gets much weirder than you think it is, I think it would be. And I don't know, I honestly can't tell whether I'm recommending it as a good bad movie or movie I legit enjoy it really straddles that line. It's riding the edge. I feel like Dan that you kind of live that live that line a lot more than the rest of us and I admire you for it. I'm always you know I'm just I'm just trying to that's where I want to be man. I'm looking for that next high. Yeah that razor's edge. Yeah.

So about a week or so ago, I was caught in the grips of second, second vaccine fever. That's right. About 12 hours after getting my second dose of the Moderna vaccine, I was very feverish and sick. And then last said like 12 hours and I had the chills and I was bumming. But you know what helped get me out of it? That's right. I watched a movie from 1992 called Sneakers.

That's right, I'm recommending sneakers today guys. I watched sneakers and I ate some Chinese food and I felt much better afterwards because you know what, sneakers is great. And what a cast we have here, that's right. That's right. Bobbi is right there. Are they there with you? And what a cast we have here, that's right. Bobby Rettler. Are they there with you?

Is like you're saying is they're gonna walk out on stage. That's right. All the stars. Bobby Redford, Dan Acroid, Sydney Poitier, uh, shit, so many people. Mary McDonnell, River Phoenix. That's right, David a lavid street. David Strathorne.

Oh, River, David Strathorne. You know what, a young Donald Logue with Mary Longhawry and I'm into it. Ben Grimsby himself, Ben Kingsley. Oh, baby. And you know what, it's super fun. It is a high tech espionage thriller in set 1992 and it has technology that is appropriate for 1992

which is really great to see. Set in 1992 because it's from 1992, right? Yeah, yeah, it's not a period. It's in a way it kind of is, right? Although they never address what I'm doing when I was 12 years old, which is probably not much, I was probably going to soccer camp. But this is my favorite reoccurring you big where Stewart expects every movie from the past to address where he was personally. I mean, on the audience, do they got a flint

of me? I mean, just as weak as Todd's anything, I'm putting my bucks into the fucking slot. They're going to release the Stewart cut of sneakers come on. Where? Get get it out of your vault some order brothers. So yeah, you know sneakers is great. Give it a shot Thanks Ellie I I am gonna say if you're tired of watching four hour movies Why not try a tight 81 minute movie that takes place almost completely in real time, but it doesn't call attention to that.

That's right. Everybody I'm talking about the Alan Joan Western Silverload. So this movie from 1954, directed by the great Alan Joan, I think is last movie possibly, but I don't remember about that. Anyway, John Payne. Silverado. Silverado. No, it's called silver

load that's l o d e silver load is the name of the town it takes place in uh... john pain is a man who uh... came to this town two years ago and quickly uh... enamored everybody in it he's about to get married on the 4th of july when a uh... national a federal marshal played by dandery a comes in and says, this man's wanted for murder, he's under arrest, me and my man are gonna take him. And people have to figure out in the town, who are they gonna believe? This man that they've come to love

but only've known him for a little bit of time, were this guy who has the paperwork that says he's a federal marshal, but seems a little suspicious. And John Payne has to go and basically prove his innocence and stay alive, well, these guys are wandering around the town and it is a real tight fun movie. There's some really amazingly kind of choreographed synchronized scenes using this western set in very few very few edits and it's just super fun.

And guys, is it in color? Yes, it's in colors. They don't worry you anti-black and white people. You can watch it in color. That's silver load and it may still be available on Amazon Prime just to watch for free if you have Amazon Prime. Well those are three movies three movies three movies that I think about the combined run time of Zack Snyder's just yeah yeah speedy of Zack Snyder's Justice League. I hope you have enjoyed. We hope you have enjoyed this first half of the Flop Houses version of Jack Snyder's

The Flop Houses Club. Oh no, we've been watching Jack. We've been watching Jack Snyder's Zustus League, which is a different movie. The League that's searching for Zustus, first they have to figure out what Zustus means, but it's all part of Jack Snyder's grand vision. Zack Snyder's just isle which is not to be confused.

Not to be confused with George Lucas's Zuckus league, which is the movie he made about the bounty hunter Zuckus. Of course, he's the partner for a long. You'll see him in Empire Strikes Back for a half a second. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, point is that's the first part of our coverage of Zack Snyder's Justice League. I'd like to thank before we go, Jordan Cowling, for doing all of our production work, making it sound not crazy and awful, hopefully.

Thanks to Maximum Fun, our network, go to to maximumfun.org to check out all the other great shows on the network. If you feel so inclined, please leave us a review on iTunes or tweet about us or a tele-friend who says, hey, I'm thinking about getting into podcasts. And you say, probably you shouldn't do a podcast yourself because there's too many podcasts right now, but here's one to listen to. Yeah, the flop house should be the one that you recommend. Or you should encourage your friend,

tell your friend to follow their dreams. Yeah, well, make a podcast that, what the barrier friend tree's so low, what do you got to lose? Dan, don't step on people's dreams, but if your friend is interested in make a podcast that what the barrier friend trees so low. What do you got to lose? Dan don't step on people's dreams But if your friend is interested in in making a podcast don't recommend the flop house to them as the thing they should make We're doing that already Reconment your friends will probably do it better and that will make me feel Yeah, no just tell them to listen to it as just like you know just research

And but but research where they have to, you know, support all our sponsors. Anyway, for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. Oh, thank you, dirty Dan McCoy. It's me, Stuart Wollington. Say goodbye. And this is the first half of Elliot Kaelin. You'll see the second half of Elliot Kaelin

in our next episode. Your butt? The end. Yeah, my butt, the end. What? Oh no, I watch Tom Clancy's Justice League. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and culture. Artists-owned, audience supported.