The Flop House - Ep. #348 - Jiu Jitsu, with Jordan Morris

Episode Date: July 31, 2021

It's Cagemas in July! The second-cagiest time of year! So we invited Jordan Morris, creator of the Bubble podcast (available on Maximum Fun) and co-writer of the brand new Bubble graphic novel to come by and discuss the "aliens really like a good martial arts fight" action movie Jiu Jitsu, with a delightful turn by Mr. Cage as a wacky Yoda-like character.Wikipedia entry for Jiu JitsuMovies recommended in this episode:The Fear Street TrilogyBlue CollarSeason of the WitchLet Him Go

On this episode we discuss, jujitsu! The movie that's not so much a movie as a video catalog of demos of martial artists you can invite to your child's birthday party. It's called, Stuart Wellington! Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Oh hey there Dan McCoy it's me steward willing to And I'm Elliott Kale of course, but we've also got a fourth person with us today. What huh? That's right. It's the Lord. Thank you very much for shining on us For these blessings for making all the great things in our lives possible also we've got with us for making all the great things in our lives possible. Also, we've got with us, friend of the podcast, fellow Max Fun Host.

That's right, the host of Jordan Jesse Go. This is the author of the new hit bubble graphic novel, that's right, Jordan Morris. Hi everybody, praise Brax. Praise Brax. Praise Brax. That's a reference you'll understand later in the episode listeners.

That's right, dear listeners. That'll be funny on a second listen. Jordan, thanks so much for joining us. How you doing? I'm doing good. Yeah, having a lot of fun. Is this, is this, would you call this what we're doing, Cajemus in July?

This is indeed our official Cajemus in July episode. The thing that we do most years years if I don't forget. Yeah, you're here for a very special cage mason in July. Partly because there's it's a movie with I guess the USDA minimum required amount of Nicolas Cage to make it a cage mason July movie. This would not fly as a cage mason movie. A cage mason July, yes, are you excited to be here for this lesser cage miss holiday? It is. It's a real thrill to be here on this lesser episode.

Thank you. You're raising it up to normal. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Why was going to say the pressure's a little lower so I can just, you know, kind of be myself, which is nice. I don't have to feel like I have to be on, you know. Yeah.

Yeah. No, this is a real thrill. I mean, I know Cajemus is a very like, you know, sacred part of the Flop House calendar. Cajemus in July less so, but still very sacred in its own way. It's second day, it's not a high holy day, but it's like an observed festival. Thank you.

And you know, and it's just so nice to be here with three people who understand the reason for the season. And so cage miss has gotten so commercial, you know. Yeah. Let's commercially successful. So it's nice to be here just to celebrate. Yeah. That's right. Well, thank you for joining us. Audrey was pointing out the like Audrey to the plant from Little Shop of Hearts.. Yeah, my roommate Audrey to the large plant. Yeah. No, she was saying that like it seemed that Nick K. just I'm like a bit of an upswing.

Maybe he had has paid off his castles because like, you know, the last few things he's been doing have been like more interesting, more like, you know, they don't they don't appear to be the same like, direct to video like shot in Belgrade, nonsense that he was doing for a while. So I was wondering like, will the cagemus well dry up in further years? Yeah, maybe he sold off all the cursed trinkets

he had been collecting. Yeah. I mean, we did, apparently, we did scientists did predict that somewhat we'd reach peak cage myths and then there would be lessening production levels of cage myths from that point on. It's possible we've hit that point. We're gonna have to turn to alternative

schlock production sources, junk usak, very possible. We're looking at you, Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson, oh boy, Liam Neeson is, he's on the edge of picking up that slack. Yeah, and then Bruce Willis is kind of hanging out by the red box. Yeah. So Bruce, Bruce, I think I think it may, Bruce Willis is probably the best candidate to take over

because he is so openly like pay this X amount of money. And I will be in your movie. Right. And I don't care what it is. And if I have to smile, it costs extra. And if I could just be bald and frowny, yeah, that's what I do now. Unlike Nicholas Cage, like you can tell that that is Bruce Willis' attitude on screen. Sometimes you'll get that cage, but many times you'll,

like, Nick Cage will show up and do like a great job in a piece of schlock. Like I actually thought that in this movie that we're talking about today, he seems committed to it. Oh, a little art. It was, I thought, I thought this was one of the more fun Nick Cage performances we had on the podcast in a while.

Yeah, it's a blast, it's real blast. I mean, the movie is a mixed bag that I'm sure will. A mixed martial arts bag, yeah. I keep getting ads for those in my Instagram feed. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. You order one and suddenly they think you need a ton of them. If Nicholas Cage had been the star of this movie,

it would have been a super fun movie. He brings a lot of cage energy to this one. If it was just Cage and Tony Jaw wandering the countryside, hunting for brax. Yeah. Like one of my main problems with this movie was the idea that our wood and the lead was the guy and not Tony Jock

that were supposed to believe that this guy was the one who could defeat the alien. Well, let's get, let's talk about the movie because we'll get to that. I think that's probably an issue we all had that Tony Jock who is amazing. Although I don't want this to be a Jackie Chan situation where he spent a whole lot of the so- time out how great he is and they turned out to

be a guy that is not so great. We haven't been following his politics. Yeah, because I, but, but, but, you know what, love Kevin Sorbo. I mean, I don't follow him on Twitter. Do you know what I'm saying? Kevin? Give you the cut it off. What are you doing?

I mean, there's a reason that I was. This was just one of our finest actors and I wanna end up. Yeah. Yeah. And let's not forget Emil Jannings. Yeah. He was a Nazi collaborator.

Anyway, so the, Thanks. So we'll get to that, but there is a, hang over the home movie is a sense of why this guy as the lead and not again Tony Jock. So the movie starts out.

It's a little disjointed. A comment is heading towards Earth. We don't have time for that. A guy who will later learn will be the lead hero is running from some CGI shurikens that are being thrown at him and they chase him right off a cliff and then you get the title and the credits for the movie. You know it's going to be a big budget movie when you the title sequence is made up of shots from the movie you're about to see. That's always a good sign that you're going to see a quality film.

And I know there's a lot of, sorry a lot of this stuff showing the comic coming to Earth is done in comic book style, which only makes it because this was based on a comic book. Otherwise, as it's based on a comic book, it doesn't really do anything. Yeah, it's actually based on mouse. Oh, new kidding. Now, I mean, a lot of love. This is a very left-of-center ghost world adaptation. Need to reboot ghost world.

We're like, we've got the love and rock. It's license, but we want to do a kung fu movie. Yes, we'll be very loose with it. We'll be loose with it. We'll call it Stone Soup and we'll mostly be jujitsu stuff. It's, I know, you know, all of these kind of red boxy cage movies, you get the impression that maybe they're like money laundering operations, you know? It's like, what's the economics of these?

Like, why are we flying Nicholas Cage to the Ukraine every five times a year to make these movies? Considering, according to Wikipedia, this is, according to Wikipedia, this movie had a budget of $25 million and a box office take of slightly less than $100,000. Oh, do you? So it does lend credence to the money laundering hypothesis,

which I'm gonna to call the Morris theorem. Thank you. Oh, hey, I have a theorem. Oh, I always wanted a theorem. But the two of the production company titles kind of suggest this. Two of the production companies behind this are Lodero Investiments. Yes, that was.

It's rarely seen production company logo for an investment firm. Right, yeah. And then double tree entertainment. investment firm. Right. Yeah. And then double tree entertainment The commuter hotel Yeah, it gives you a warm cookie. You got to have yeah, I guess breakfast is covered So so the movie starts you get as damage when we get these comic book panel transitions, which it's much like the original Idea behind the warriors, the warriors must have the kind of stuff,

or in Angleys Hulk, there's some kind of stuff like that. It never really works, and it doesn't really work here. We get to the first section. Especially now, since like, I don't know, like 70% of all pop culture is based on graphic novels. Yeah. In comics. Well, they're also like the cheapest looking drawings too.

It looks like, I mean, hopefully even more considering that our two co-hosts today are authors of graphic novels. Yeah, hopefully the two big hit tenpool movies of 2023 will be bubble and maniac of New York. Or perhaps maniac of New York goes to bubble. Oh, sure. Yeah. That's the growth of the crossover. If the Flintstones don't see the Jetsons, anything, anything. Anything. So these comic book transitions, Nicholas Cage is in a huge hat on a fishing boat, and he rescues this guy who fell off the cliff

out of the water, say, go buy a Nick Cage for a while, you're not gonna see him for like an hour. The fisherman's wife takes him to a US soldier base that's in this, that's it, they're in. Who's my other favorite character, by the way, the fisherman's wife? the fisherman's wife. She's been, I mean, she's got a real lucky grandma energy in that she. Yes.

She takes, she is, she is an elderly Asian lady who takes no guff from anybody. The reason that she speaks with subtitles and words will be highlighted with different cult. The subtitles are in the middle of the screen. Yes. They're in blocks. They're not on the bottom. And different words will be highlighted. And it's just a very comic bookie way to do subtitles.

And all the way in head, word balloons just sticking out of her mouth with words at it. Many of the words that are highlighted too seem to be highlighted at random. Like sometimes it's for emphasis, and sometimes it's like, why would you put that as the important word of the sentence? Right, yeah, take him to bed.

No, that's how she said it, I guess. Yeah. So she tries to tell the soldiers, but the interpreter they have played by what's his name from my name is Earl. Yeah, the crap man character. I don't know his name. Playing a character name. Text. Yeah. So he, he's not a regular interpreter. She tells these soldiers every six years the comet passes overhead and a whole opens in a temple and the warrior of death comes through. And this is information that will be repeated to us multiple times throughout the movie.

In case we are lost in the Byzantine twists and turns of the almost plot and film that we're about to watch. Yeah, it is a very simple plot, but at the same time, there's like many things about it that I that confused me about, you know, like, I guess, how we'll get into it, but I guess Nick Cage is a survivor of a previous time

and I'm like, how? But. We'll just clearly let himself go. But okay, so, well, he explains, okay, so there's this Army Intelligence lady. She's trying to question this mysterious guy. We later learned his name is Jake, so let's just call him Jake.

And you can tell me how many jakes do you guys know in real life? I feel like Jake is only a movie. I mean, I do have a step by the name Jake. Okay, well, and there's my theory. And there's body by Jake, so that's two right there. Jake and the fat man, but I guess that's a real. Jake Gillingall, I don't really know him, but I know of him, you know, and there's a fellow

with a snake. Yeah, you're thinking of Jake Aconda. Yeah. So, Dwayne the Jake Johnson. But he goes, I have to call myself Dwayne Johnson in the movies because the WWE owns the copyright to Jake. All right, well, that is not a new addition to the Morris theorem. I guess Jake's existence in the movie.

Yeah, the Jake Carollary has been disproven. Yeah. So this lady is like, hey, you're going to tell me everything you know about this. And we found this electronic thingy on you. And he goes, I don't know what that is. We never find out what it is. It doesn't matter. But she like shows it to him and he's like, yeah, this is mine. But other ones. I'm like, immediately super agrib. I mean, I know that he's been the secret military base, but he's immediately super suspicious and aggressive towards him.

He's just a guy who was found unconscious, who was dropped off there. He was brought to them. It's not like he's snuck in. They're very suspicious of his rub on tattoo. For some reason, they say this very basic looking tattoo he has of a skull and a snake looks like something he got out of a v on tattoo. For some reason they see this very basic looking tattoo he has of like a skull and a snake. Looks like something he got out of a vending machine and some of the worst makeup ever.

And that for some reason that makes her suspicious. Like we've got to find out about this tattoo. Yeah, yeah, her commanding officer's like, do you even ask him about the tattoo? She's like, I'm getting to it, okay? She'll laugh. I've got to build a rapport before we could start talking about tattoos. I'm immediately asked about someone's tattoo. People don't'm getting to it, okay? She'll laugh. I've got to build a rapport before we could start talking about tattoos.

I'm immediately asked about someone's tattoo. People don't get tattoos to draw attention so that other people will ask them about them. She doesn't understand tattoos as I'm saying. So that what we will later find out is there's uranium in the area and that's why there's a top secret US military mission to hang out and just kind of make sure the uranium stays in the ground. Sure, yeah, sure. sure no people get near it. Yeah, oh yes there's plutonium, it's plutonium.

Anyway, he's got no memory, but somehow he has incredible fighting skills. And the first of a number of jujitsu demo scenes, he just beats up a bunch of soldiers. And it made me realize, and there's a scene later on that made me realize more, there's a lot of action movies with a heroist to beat up US soldiers, which seems weird, because you'd think the There's a lot of action movies with the hero has to beat up US soldiers, which seems weird because you think the audience for a lot of these action movies is a pro-US soldier audience. But it's like how in Triple X the return of Zander Cage, another cage unrelated. There's a part where he just pushes a whole

bunch of soldiers out of a cargo plane. And it's like there's our hero, I guess. I would imagine that, yes, it's a very supportive our troops crowd, but also a bunch of people who are into sort of like a DTB action movie are also like rugged individualist types who are like, you know, like, that's not gonna push me around. If our soldiers can't beat up this tattooed fellow, they deserve what they get. Yeah, they should come home either with a tattooed fellow

dead or on their shields. They do, it's like they don't carry shields into battle. Well, what are we doing? This is like a lot of, I feel like almost all the action sequences are like choreographed. You have one guy run up to the hero. The hero performs some maneuvers on him and then the next guy comes up.

Including like I think the final move in this one is he does like a backwards flip kick thing. You see it from multiple angles I think. Yeah, if you didn't step out of the way of that one, you deserve it. I don't know if I say a little bit about, sorry, good day. Oh no, just the choreography in this movie, by and large is pretty good. There are like some scenes that are, I think, are very good, some scenes that are kind of boring,

but like it pays more attention to fight choreography, which is why a lot of people, including Stuart here, love these sort of smaller action movies because it's like where a lot of this stuff is found these days. But the problem with it often is, if it gets really choreographed, you like know that it's choreographed.

Like you can, it feels like a dance rather than a fight. And I think our lead is one of the worst people in the movie at not making it seem like just a dance. That was a big issue I had with it, which is that, yeah, at a certain point when it's so heavily choreographed, it's like the only way this is happening is if both people involved in the fight know what all the moves are.

As a, I kept thinking of like the raid redemption where when I watch the fights and that, I'm like, these people are trying to kill each other. Like this, whereas in this, it's like, it looks like you're watching a sparring match and then afterwards it's gonna be like, so kids is grottie for you, sign up right over there. You gotta buy the uniform.

I'm gonna need $25. Confidence, fitness, yeah. Yeah. Um, I, and also it is, it is, it is tough to buy the fact that he's fighting military guys because this entire military base seems to have two guns that they share between everyone, but everyone has a knife. There's so much running at guys with knives, like big crocodile-dundee knives. So it's like this army is terribly underfunded. They should have at least more than two guns. Well, normally, yeah, after the sixth guy gets beaten up hand to hand, the seventh guy

will just shoot the guy that was doing the up. Maybe we should use that gun. I will say, the one time I was in Afghanistan, performing stand-up comedy for the troops when there was a war on them. You weren't performing martial arts. No, it's not performing martial arts. It wasn't some kind of martial arts demo where you like the phone book and I was.

Yeah, it was all, yeah. Hey, I'll tell you guys, maybe karate's for you. Look at this. This is fitness. Sign up, look, the strength of Christ is helping me rip this phone book and half. Take a look.

Go hell. Want to sign up? But there was one, the only time I was ever scared by any of the people that I met, this one guy had a huge knife. And he was like, I really only think I haven't gotten due yet. So I haven't had a knife kill. Almost had one.

And then someone else shot him. And I was like, I want you to stay here. I don't want you coming back. This is it. But so maybe they're all that, I mean, this is a special unit made up of guys like that where they're like, you know what? want you to stay here. I don't want you coming back. This is, but so maybe they're all that, I mean, this is a special unit made up of guys like that, where they're like, you know what, send them to Burma. Yeah, we don't, we don't know these guys

obsessed with knives. They can't get to the next level on their character until they kill somebody in close combat. They have plenty, they've like maxed out on gun kills. Yeah, yeah, it's these guys are, these guys are trophy hunters, this is what you're saying, these are PlayStation trophy hunters. It's their, they're conflict check Yeah, yeah. These guys are trophy hunters, is what you're saying, these are PlayStation trophy hunters.

It's their conflict checklist. Yeah, they're trying to 100% this war. Yeah, trying to plant them more. Remember, remember, remember, when we raid an enemy base, kick every wall to see if there's a hidden room there. We've got to pick up all the bananas and decay coins. Right. Punch that hay veil. We've got to pick up all the bananas and decay coins.

Right. Punch that hay veil. Anything there? No. Well, okay, what about that box? It's part of the background. Don't worry about it. Listen, we have to unlock all the skins. If you're walking into a room full of clay jars, you know you've got to start dying for the actual... Yes, you're all the rupees are. Yeah, after an incident with some truth serum that gets them nowhere, the army until lady starts believing this guy's amnesia is real.

She starts going good cup on him, but then uh oh, it's going to be taken out of her hands because time for the next chapter reunion because who's going to come in? That's right. Tony Juh is going to come in and beat up a bunch of soldiers. Then into the amnesia guy, he's like, hey, come with me. And he's like, okay, leading to a long POV fighting sequence where we are Jake, just swing your fists and our feet. And it is, it really makes me glad that I didn't bother to go see hardcore Harry because

I'm like, oh, that's what this is. Okay, great, great. You know. Yeah. This action sequence, I feel like I don't like the POV, like the first part of it. Especially because it is less impressive since you know they can just strap a GoPro to someone's head and have them.

It's not like, how did the camera guy stay out of the way of those flying fists? Like, let me just put a GoPro on his head. Just like, if you want to shot a dog walking through places, just strap a GoPro on its head, you know. Yeah, you don't have to like, you don't have to surgically remove one of its eyeballs and put a tiny video camera in its head.

Not anymore, thanks to the people at GoPro. Or the way that like a crane shot of like a forest used to be a sign in a low-budget movie like, look, or a helicopter shot, like we did it. We made this and it adds production values. But now you're just 16-year-old conflite drone in there. Just lab a GoPro on your nephew's drone and send it around, yeah.

The first half of this, actually, which though, is Tony Juh, like running along the top of walls and hiding behind walls. It's a lot like the live action adaptation of the Aladdin game for the Sega Genesis. A lot of them on the top of walls. It does look video gamey, but it is done in this like fake long tape take. There's, you know, there are a couple whip pans where I'm sure they hid the cuts, but it is trying something.

And I would argue that this is the part of the movie that sets a high bar for the action sequences that the rest of the movie doesn't quite live up to. Like this is, I think the high point, the Tony Jop part of it. Later on, yes, it jumps into his POV. And then it's like a weird part where like, he jumps out of his own POV,

like he leaps over the camera back into like third person. Yeah, it's the kind of thing that happens in, this is revealing too much about myself, I guess. The kind of thing that happens in POV porn, we're at a certain point, they're just like, you know what, let's just shoot it as if they're regular people. Like this, we're not gonna get the angle we want, if it's still the camera that's on, that's the GoPro stuck to this guy's head. know what, let's just shoot it as if they're regular people. Like this, we're not gonna get the angle we want. If it's still the camera that's on, that's the GoPro stuck to this guy's head.

Come on, let's. Yeah. Yeah, but I did like the part where they paused for three minutes and the guy just looked at his own dick. I really felt like I had Jake's dick. Maybe I haven't seen your own videos. This also streaming this. This feels like a long time. No, it was the perfect amount of time I disagree. Because that point is more of a medical test than like I was

checking himself. Ticks. Because it was a forest scene and they want to it was it was a POV porn video from the National Park Service on Tix safety and prevention. Yeah, online disease prevention. Testicle ticks are an issue. Tickstacles, yeah. This is also where I started noticing like what's gonna be a theme of the movie, which is like fake CGI, like stuff around. Like because every time they would,

Tony Jai would like throw someone off a building, he would land and there'd be like the CGI cloud dust that would come up on my mind. Why do you have to add that? Like I will believe that he fell without adding the dust. Yeah, you're expecting me to jump behind a wall to beat up some guys that there would be like, I don't know, like stars and like,

that will all be flying up here. Yeah. And that someone to fall down and little birdies would fly around their head and little bells. Yeah. Not to cram more video game references into this, but those CGI hit detectors were just like that's what happens in Tekken That is how you know in Tekken you've hit somebody or you get a little

mouth CGI mouth blood as well. That happens a lot in the movie. Yeah So the Jake runs off of Tony Jaw. He meets a whole cadre of fighters including Frank Rillo That's right crossbones himself. And you know, and you know, these guys are like, you know, they're not just your average run of the mill, like run into the street types, because they're all wearing these like, like long shawls that don't have sleeves. But they do have like a duster, but they do have a hood. It's like the sort of thing that again, I get in my Instagram ads all the time, and I'm like, pull this off. I don't know. It's like the sort of thing that again I get in my Instagram ads all the time and I'm like I pull this off.

I don't know. It wouldn't look good with my genie pants. It's like someone someone saw a What's that Assassin's video game? Assassin's Creed right they saw a bust ad for Assassin's Creed and we're like I could pull off that look Yeah, the hood with no sleeves. Yeah And the same way that a lot of guys after drive started wearing those jackets. And I think maybe 85% could not pull it off 15%. They pulled it off great. Guys, here's what I'm thinking. Group Halloween costume

this year. We all go as the huge, sleeveless warrior. We're the famous cadre of Brax fighting warriors. And here's going he's gonna be widely Dan. I mean, Wiley's the best character but I'll be the comment. Yeah, that's why I get. Yeah. Wow. I think we're already dressing up as characters who don't wear the hooded sleeveless things. We need to really back up a little. Let's let's central the center of the premise of the Halloween costume. Okay. Like if my, I think we might be doing a nightmare before Christmas thing this year, because that's what my younger son is obsessed with.

But if I was like, yeah, yeah, and you know what? I'll be Wario. Like it wouldn't really go with the main premise of the group costume, you know? But Wario Farts. He does, that's true. That's a good point. I read it on a bathroom wall.

Yeah, so much so true. Let's do that. Let's do that's a great point. That's a good one. What about Walla We bathroom wall. Yeah, so much that's true. Yeah, let's do that's a great point What about Walla Ouija? How is he with flatulence? I mean, I don't think he farts as much I don't think it's like his like his main attack, right? Okay, I'm like that that ape from primal They both say why primal primal rage? Premor agent both say why do they both scream? Why when they I don't know maybe okay? I mean like they both they both scream, why? I don't know, maybe. Okay. I mean, it's right.

They both do say why. Yeah, I like that in the Mario Brothers universe. If you have a Mario for a brother, your name will be decided by his name. That's just the way it works. Mario, Mario, and Luigi, Mario. Wario's brother has to be walloweege. You have to assume Luigi and walloweege

are younger brothers, right? Where did they have to change their names when their younger brothers were born? Because that's a big blow to the ego. If you have a younger brother who's a baby and your parents are like, you have to change your name so that it fits your younger brother's name, you know.

That's true. Yeah. It's hard to have confidence after that. No wonder they just follow their brothers around. I mean, I do like that you assume that they reproduce like mammals and they don't like burst out of eggs or something. I mean, there's nothing about the Mario brothers or the Wario brothers that would lead me to believe they're not human beings. I don't

know. Have you seen the sequence where Mario goes to New Dawn City and there's like regular humans walking around, but he looks like it's true. A little weirdo. Oh, I haven't seen that. I can't. I think I haven't seen that. I can. I think I have some information that could be helpful in this discussion. All right. Lay it on us. So we do know Conanuc. What's Flambario?

We do know canonically that Mario has nipples. They have drawn nipples on Mario. Okay. So we do know that he is at least a mammal. Okay. Yeah, he comes from a species that produces milk. Yeah. He's eats it young. I think unless they've evolved to some sort of reptile state

and those are vestigial nipples, nipples, not vestigial nipples. Viscigial nipples is a snack food that everybody loves. It's the little pieces that are left over in the bottom of the bag of other snack foods. You can find them in one place. It's a bunch of fried appendixes. Yeah, you like a Katamari,

Dama's Day or whatever. And like a Katamari Namaste, that's the medication role in the ball. And it's the pose that pleases your father the King of all Cosmos. Is this the most video game references? This is a lot better than a lot of videos. Yeah, well it makes sense.

We are, we are, we're trying to do Jiu Jitsu. Anyway, so, so this is one of the number of scenes where Frank, or where Jake will be told the plot of the movie. And the people give me and going, Jake, you remember us, right? You remember us, Jake? And he's like, no, I don't. Come on, Jake, you remember us. It's like, no, they're not explaining who they are, Tim.

Like people, people give him shit for having amnesia, but they don't try and help him. No, no, no, no. They don't explain anything to him. The soldiers show up. First they get tossed around, but an invisible force. Then some soldiers show up.

Everybody fights again, long, long fighting sequence between these new guys and the soldiers. These are the main, you got Jake, you got Frank Rillo, you got this lady who uses nunchucks, you got Tony Jaw, and then there's a guy who uses a long metal pipe. It's like a boat metal bow staff kind of, you know. And Tony Juh looks like he's just using like angled like plumbing pipes.

Like his like, yeah. His like fighting sticks look like either baton shaped but they're pipes. Yeah. And this is around the time, these are these long martial arts sequences without a lot of story to time together. And it was around this point that I was like,

this is like, this movie's like a meal where you're just having french fries, where it's like, yeah, it tastes good in the moment, but it's like not by the end of it, I'm like, I didn't really get what I needed to live in just in the movie. Oh, I don't know. Look, I mean, you could argue whether you should

make a movie about a bunch of martial arts people who fight an alien every six years. That is not the issue I'm having, Dan. They should have, but if that there are many... There are many... I feel like it, that you want as much fighting as possible. No, but there are, I'll just say, I'll just pause it, which is true that there are martial arts movies where I,

I'm like, I hope the characters accomplish the thing that these martial arts are contributing to. And this movie was like, oh boy, there's just like the, the thinnest of fibers, but you're connecting these martial arts scenes, you know, that is a martial art scenes were more exciting, you know, I don't know. As we explain the movie, we will you will come to see audience of this podcast that is basically the like it starts out like the born identity and ends like predator. Yes. And all the born identity stuff is completely cuttable

from the movie. Although, I actually find the earlier scene, like this is the rare movie where before the alien shows up, I was more entertained. You were really more entertained when he was just sitting in a dentist chair as that lady yelled at him. And I was like, tell me who you are. The Tony Jaff fight and then this fight between him

and the army. Like the problem with the alien stuff I think is They did a good job Creating an alien who could move around but I think that probably a guy wearing a big suit was not the best choice For martial arts movie. He does have a hologram face. He took down the temperature of the fights Yeah, his face does look like the fog wall from a throne software game. I got the feeling that the performer was hampered by having to wear a big rubber suit, especially when you remember like the

Ninja Turtles movies, the old ones, they're wearing rubber suits and their moves are amazing. To me, his foggy helmet with his big face looks like he was smoking a joint in his space helmet. Bratz is hot boxing his own space suit. Oh boy. Well, Jake tell the level. So they get thrown away, they get thrown around by electricity again.

There's something with heat vision that's zapping them. And Jake tells the Army Intelligence Lady, you got to leave the area. And she's like, oh, okay, that makes sense. And appears I think one more time before the movie's over. Hey, you were mentioning Brax. It's time for the section called Brax. Not Brax. That's a different thing.

Brax is us, is four girls who can take on the world and they're good at everything. Brax is instead an alien that we're gonna meet. So the army goes into the jungle. I'm not quite sure, but they're, why? But they're, I guess they're leaving the area, but their guard encounter is going crazy. And that's when this

Invincible ninja starts hurling throwing stars at them and then we see what it is. That's right. It's this kind of guyver Looking alien and like a techno suit is very exo-mana war But it's also a ninja, but here's the thing He can kill people with a glowing red touch and he heals almost instantly from all wounds So it is not really a fair fight That Brax is coming at like they're shooting with machine guns and he heals almost instantly from all wounds. So it is not really a fair fight. That Brax is coming at like, they're shooting with machine guns and he's like, uh uh uh uh uh and then he, you know, his body just comes back together again. It's like not a, it's not, it's not really fair. Okay, that's all we need to know about him. He's Brax, he fights. They

haven't explained who he is yet. I like that argument though. Do they use that same argument against like the T1000 when like they shoot him a bunch and he just heals? Well, the problem is the T1000 is an assassin machine that's trying to kill people. Brax has, as we learn, has supposedly come to earth looking for a competition battle that will be good enough to challenge him. But if you don't sustain damage, it's kind of hard for any challenger who is human and sustains damage and does not have heat vision and CGI shurikens to throw all over the place.

You know, it's hard to compete with that. Yeah, this is like a hunter, you know, with a high powered rifle who like goes out to shoot a deer, but claims that he's in like a life and death struggle with that deer, you know, like, deer. Yeah. The deer is a sitting deer. He has, he has like a grenade in his hand and then like, there's a rabbit and he throws the grenade at the

rat. That's right. It's my pie. Man, cover's all. Take that you dumb bunny. That stupid bunny. If you wanted to survive, you should have invented grenades. Looks like you feed on it so lucky now. When I was taking notes about the movie when I was watching because I'm a good podcast guest. Then some of the hosts. Yeah. And I was doing it in my notes app.

And whenever I would type Brax, it would auto correct to Brad. How much better would this movie have been if the monster was just called Brad? That would be fantastic. Well, that, I mean, maybe, yeah, this is like, that makes me think that the alien is like someone's like, stepfather, like frustrated, like dude, who's like, this is the only way I can get out my anger is to go to earth. It's somebody's old college roommate,

they're like Brad comes to earth every six years to find a way to be able to go. Right, it's a kill us, drinks all our beer. That's fantastic, but if it was Tony Braxton that comes to earth every six years for this big thing, it's amazing. And you know she sings afterwards, that's what she does.

That's what she's famous for. So next section is called. She still flies, though. Yeah, of course. Yeah, but then she sings after or during the fight. Next section, rabbit hole. Jake runs off, which we'll learn is kind of his thing. And the Intel lady gets hit by a throwing star

I could buy to her. Jake lands in an underground hut inhabited by Wiley, aka Nicholas Cage. That's right everybody. Nick Cage is back. And is he phoning in this performance? The answer? No, he is not.

He's having, he seems to be having so much fun being a guy who used to be a martial arts master and chickened out and begged Brax for his life six years ago and was allowed to go on living in a hut by himself where he makes a hat set of newspapers and has a piano. He has the most random collection of stuff in this hut, which makes him more believable to me.

But he also kind of talks like if Obi-Wan Kenobi hadn't interacted with another human being for years and had kind of lost his bearings. It's kind of the, you know what? I didn't even realize till now. This is what Yoda should have been like in the prequels. He is a Nicholas Cage. He's still kind of weird and crazy. He's still a hermit.

He has a hat made out of a newspaper. And he's helping Jake because immediately he and Jake start fighting. Nicholas Cage is talking cryptically about how the Space Man chose him to be the true Jiu-Jitsu or some nonsense. But this, I mean, this is a movie. We've already made comments about how the dialogue in general in this movie is pretty still-tid.

But Nick Lyskage delivers it with a certain panache that is so welcome. I wouldn't be surprised if he wrote, if he rewrote at least some of his stuff. It feels so much more like him than the rest of the movie. The one thing that doesn't feel like him is his fight double, who looks nothing like him. And so you say that's a lot of like a close-up Nicolas Cage, and then you'll cut to a wide shot of Jake fighting a guy who looks, who's wearing the same wig. Who's wig is always in his face. Who's wig is always covering his entire face.

Yeah. So it was, you know, the- There's a line in here that I think backs up your cage rewrote some of this theory, Elliott. At some point, someone says that they're hungry and cage says, what do you want to pickle, a tickle or a noodle? Anyway, I just, to me, that was like the most nonsensical thing.

Why am I laughing at this? Yeah. What is a tickle or a noodle? Wait, a tickle or a noodle? Oh, man, I should have been paying more attention. Uh, so Nicholas Cage is the one who says, Jake, you're supposed to fight Brax one on one fairly. Then the, and that's what Brax is looking for. The other fighters show up and Nicholas let cages like Jake isn't ready. He's crazy. Like me. Ha, ha, ha. Anyway, uh,

the warriors, uh, they walk Jake and Nicholas Cage this ancient temple. Nicholas Cage is just being a goofball. He's a, I like it's a reason that him and it is more fun and he acts at some point explains that it's all about uh... the magical power of jujitsu that was given to them by bracks yes thousands of years ago bracks came through this portal in this ancient temple he taught humanity jujitsu so that they would have something to fight him with when he came back every six years to have fun fighting and killing people and as long long as you don't have to win the fight, as long as you fight him honorably,

his version of honorably, which is you have your fists and he has CGI laser-guided shurikens that you can throw at you. And a new weapon that manifests every fight. Yeah, as long as nine people fight him fairly, then he goes home. But if anyone cheats or doesn't fight him, then he kills, it's unclear whether it is everybody in the world or just everybody in the immediate area. Yeah, yeah. At one point, they say everyone,

at another point, they say innocent villages. So, so Brax is like either fight me or I kill everybody. So really, every six years, nine people die to Brax is really basically what it is. I posted this explanation scene to the Flophouse Instagram stories because at the end, the hero, like this is a long, crazy thing about, you know, what Brax's deal is and how like, he gave us two jitsu so we could fight him and that's why you have Jiu Jitsu. And then like you cut to our hero who just does this like look like,

whoa, like like like what was that? What was that all about? Yeah. Well, because he doesn't know the story checks out until you see in the temple. That's right. It's an ancient mural of Brax as we learn from Justice League and moral combat,

the best way to communicate information is with a mural painted on the wall of an agent temple. Sure. Somebody told Gustav Klimp that too. It's almost like if in the Predator movies, they found a cave that had cave paintings that showed a predator like teaching like proto-humans how to hunt. Yeah. So there's clearly something going on between Jake and Darts Lady, they used to have a thing together. They, she helps him to change into a slightly more

ridged t-shirt and one of those sleeveless hoods which makes you invisible to Brax's heat vision. And Frank Rillow gives him a sword which doesn't play that much of a part to the rest of the movie, but I guess he uses it. Jake has to defeat Brax before sundown because of something related to the comet. It's not totally clear, but we get a bunch of ominous shots of the comet, and I guess if it reaches the horizon maybe, like there's a lot of rules to this competition that kind of pop up lately,, as long as you fight Brax,

everything will be okay. Oh, and you have to defeat him by sundown. Wait, why? Hold on, you didn't mention that before. I mean, and then in the climax. In the climax. So in the climax, it seems like the deal is that like Brax, the vortex opens up again and Brax leaves then,

because of the comet, but it's like, well, that's fine. Like, what's wrong with that version of events where, like, oh, we didn't defeat him by sundown. Oh, he left. He got bored. Well, I don't know. I think maybe it's that the portal opens and he can choose to stay or leave at that point. Yeah.

The comment opens the portal, but Brax comes or goes. It's very, it's not clear and it doesn't get any more clear because Jake, as we learn, he chickened out. They call him the rabbit because he ran away from Brax. That's right. Unlike Nicholas Cage, we at least had the guts to beg for his life from Brax. So Brax considered him crazy and thus unfit to kill,

unsporting. Jake just ran away and that's why he was being chased by Shurikens' off a cliff earlier. Anyway. What are the Bragg rules that I was having a hard time with was you have to fight him one-on-one thing, because there are so many times in the movie where people gang up on Braggs, and it goes pretty well,

but then people just start going at him one, and I know that's a Kung Fu movie thing. It's like, you know, you fight each other one on one because it's more fun. But like, yeah, the idea that only is so easy and more of people can fight Brax. Yeah, it's, it's, and then, but they also ignore that rule and everything's fine. Yeah. And at the end, like the old lady comes in and starts shooting Brax with a shotgun and like that's fine like a sheet also part of the group but can find me would you would you argue with her? I don't think so Later spoiler for later like

Brax kills Nicholas Cage and like the hero and the lady are literally just like watching it happen from the side If any time to break the rule of one-on-one fighting is there like it's the same Nicholas Cage Well, yeah, I mean they're just watching what happens live So yeah, do you think maybe when that when the the the fishermen's wife showed up at the shotgun Bracks just assumed she was like one of the other characters summons Special move. I mean, they just hit the right buttons and she just jumps in, does her move and jumps out again.

Yeah. I mean, all I know about Fisherman's wives, she was probably pretty tired out from having sex with that octopus. And so, I get, you know, we're dreaming about it, at the very least. And so she just, if she had to rebuild her energy to get that shotgun, so she just she had to rebuild her energy to get get that shotgun

So she couldn't save Nicholas Cage with a shotgun too is the thing that seems to hurt Brax the most It's like some kind of super shotgun. I don't know where she got it from sure I mean unless the fact when one of the other fighters died they they they blinked away and then left a shotgun behind She picked that up. Yeah, that's like a like a very rare drop. Yeah behind and she picked that up. Yeah, yeah. That's like a like a very rare drop. Yeah. Or she or she it's an in-game purchase and she's like,

you know what, we're fighting Brax. I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm going to pay the 99 cents to get the super shotgun. Yeah, that's an order exclusive. I know it's going to end of a scam. I can't take it out of here. Yeah, she got the day one edition. Yeah.

You should sue. If I maybe afterwards I can mint it as an NFT, make some of my money back, you know. But anyway, topical. So now we just a bunch of sections of Brax fighting people. If I maybe afterwards I can mint it as an NFT make some of my money back, you know, but anyway Topical so now now we just a bunch of a bunch of sections of brax fighting people you get the my time section brax fights some people There's they he kills all of them Jake gets captured by an army guy from earlier and he's like hey, we've been tracking brax for decades Here's and get here's your sword by the way the one that you got earlier. I'll give you back to you He goes here's the secret We've realized when he gets hurt, it takes him about six or seven

seconds to heal. That's when you go after him. And it's like, oh, okay, that's your big secret. He didn't win his week. Okay. He didn't win his stole holes in him. Yeah. Yeah. Army military intelligence. Am I right? It's a lot more on. Is there like a visual cue? Does his like his little visor, the fog clear, and you see his face for a second? Like, what's going on there? Well, I think it's when he has big holes in his belly,

you know, to attack him. No, I know that, but what's going on with his visor? Because every once in a while, you see a face there. Yeah. Uh, like it's going on to your face too. Yeah, it was a little part of your face. I don't, I don't, I mean, I'm not Brax's official spokesperson. We're just friends, despite what the tabloids say, but uh, Brax is, you know, he sometimes he likes to see and sometimes he

doesn't like to be seen. So he allows it to fog, then he defogs it. It's, you know, the it's the, the yes, no tug and pull, uh, uh, cat and mouse hide and seek relationship that all superstars have with their public and Braxton is no different. You know, much like Tony Braxton. Sure. Yeah. Sometimes when Tony Braxton performs, she has a fogged up visor that covers her whole face

and sometimes you can see your face. You know, sometimes she takes on her competitors one on one and sometimes they have to help them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But don't bring the rules to show the brats. The rules of the world. The brats face is never scary. No, the brats face are very silly and then occasionally very cute.

Sometimes they'll hit brats at an angle where you're like, oh, brats. Well, he looks like a blobfish, which is, which is this fish, yeah, that's like a dorkly, ugly looking. It's like, whoa, where's me? I'm a blobfish. Like, what made of a meme of me? So, so Blacks does have a face. It's like, I'm, I'm Blacks.

I can't even get Sue. Is it like when Mad Max knocks Blaster's helmet off and you're like, oh, you shouldn't kill this guy. That sort of thing. A little bit, yeah, a little bit, a little bit. A little bit. Just a little bit. What is a little bit a little bit a little bit. Just a little bit What is a little bit guys? What is the teeny tiny bit just like a teeny tiny minus school microscopic bit Yeah, like the tiniest little bit like just like a bit of a bit just like a teeny bit of a bit a tiny little bit Just like a little bit like a little bit. You can't even say bit. You can't even say t

It's a bit. It's a little bit. Yeah, that's how little that bit is. Yeah, it's a tiny bit. Just a little bit, like a little bit. You can't even say a bit. You can't even say T, it's a little bit. It's a little bit. That's how little that bit is. Yeah, it's a tiny bit. Just a little bit. It's a little bit. It's just all it is. You don't even say most or just a little bit. Just LB, it's just a pound. It's just the abbreviation for pound.

Yeah. It's like to say goodbye to all of our new listeners. Thank you for checking us out. No, what if Rex is the vapor? What if the vapor? Oh, shit. Like the theory that blow if Rex is the vapor? What if the vapor? Oh, shit. Like the theory that blowfeld is the cat and he possesses the minds of various different actors

and that's why there's more than one. It's possible. Maybe, maybe Brax has made out of gas. Maybe he's a gas man. He's like, Yohan. What about this guys? Maybe Brax is the friends we made along the way. Oh yeah, possibly.

Thank you for being our Brax. Do do do do do do. Travel down the road and fight a Brax. Anyway, so somehow there's 38 minutes left of the movie. Jake finds Wiley cooking a fish and they talk about more stuff. We have a flashback to Brax emerging from a portal. He kills a guy in a text. Jake runs away, we saw that already. Anyway, Wiley says he has a plan. Brax is hunting Jake as prey to make a point. And then he never really explains what the plan is, because a dead body flops near them.

And Wiley's like, oh, Brax is trying to vex you. That's why he's killing people and throwing their bodies at you. And it's like, it seems like there's easier. Everyone has a plan that they're not bothering to explain to the movie, you know. But it's a good vocal warming. Yeah, we'd be very vexing to not be able to walk anywhere that a dead body flopping out.

Okay, it's a good vocal warm up too, before you start the podcast, you can just go, Brax is vexing, Brax is vexing. More fighting, Jake keeps running, eventually Brax reaches him, but but oh, Tony John jumps out and Brax fights him as Jake runs away again. So the plan, and they're like this, was your plan, Jake.

So it's like the plan seems to be, okay, so Brax comes to Earth to fight nine people in a row one-on-one. Jake's plan seems to be to make Brax chase him and then have people jump out to fight Brax one-on-one. The chasing doesn't really seem to be necessary for the plan. I don't really understand what the plan is supposed to achieve. Tiring Brax out, it just seems to be tiring about.

Tiring out Jake, because as we know Brax can heal, so when the lactic acid builds up on his muscles from all that running, he's just going to heal from it, he'll be fine. He can run again. Just going to take a couple of seconds. Yeah, it doesn't seem any weaker after fighting eight people than he did the first time, right? No, not at all.

But here's where we get, okay, it's another big fight. Nicholas Cage's body double has a sword fight with Brax. Turns into a long kind of wrestling and jump kick fight, then swords again. And Brax gives Nicholas Cage his sword so that he can kill him honorably. And he cuts him up with a lot of slashes

and then holds him pay to style. And it was like, wait, was Nicholas Cage's son like, I don't understand? And Nicholas Cage just died for the sins of the film. I think so, that it's a real touching scene. And it's just too bad that there's no more wily in the movie because he brought a real life and a real spice, a real vim and vigor to the movie. Nick Cage, it was great to have you back for the amount of time that we had you. Can't wait to see you in pig, you know, sleep sleep.

In theaters now, as we speak, that is weird that his dying words are C pig in theaters now. Yeah. Yeah. Just more of your nonsense. Yeah. Which is crazy because it was released far before pig was released in theaters. Right. That's why it's weird,. But that's why it's weird.

Stewart, that's why. You're right. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, well, let's call it Nicholas Cage and find out. Oh, hello. Yeah, it's me, Nicholas Cage. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you have the question for me.

Yeah. Wait, you're in jujitsu. Well, first I have a question for you. Did you find my pig? I have a couple for you. Did you find my pick? Yeah. Yeah. I have a couple of things I want to know about. Before we talk about the pick thing, can we? Because that's really what's on my mind right now, man,

is this pick I can't find. Can you explain? It's not easy to lose a pig. Somehow I've managed it, classic Nick. Can you explain the tickle or a noodle thing? So, okay, he looks hungry. He could have a noodle, but you know what feeds your soul laughter, so maybe he wants to be tickled instead. So it's not that crazy.

That turns out, you know, my Zen Master told me that there's, there's the opposite, everyone has a tickle and a noodle inside of them. And the thing is you've got to get in touch with the noodle when your hungry were a few in a pool, if it's that kind of noodle. And you've got to get in touch with the tickle when you need to laugh. And you know, laughter is, some would say the best medicine. I would say it's probably like the fourth best medicine, but you know,

I've done nicks. Not nicks. The top three medicines obviously are, one number one is love. Number two is penicillin. And number three is if like you could mix love and penicillin into one medicine. Yeah, love a cell. silly call it love a silly.

Yeah. Oh, did you also call it that? I do call it that. I mean, well, I guess I got a room. For the first time I've had. I should probably cut this conversation short and get to the copyright office before you trademark love a silly. Because I've been sitting on that for a while,

much like Charles Darwin, we did too long to publish his results and almost got scooped on it. I really got to get to it. But what was your other question? Do you have any questions about Jiu-Jitsu? The movie? I think we wanted to ask how you knew we did a riff for we were saying that maybe your last words were C. Pig and theaters now. Yeah. And this movie came out far before Pig was releasing theaters. So how did you, in the world of our riff, how did you know that you're looking at wild pig?

Isn't theater? I think, you know, a stop clock is right at least four or five times a day. And so I said, I said see Pigg and theaters now knowing that this movie would come out before Pigg and just that it was likely someone would watch it. Right. Because it's a great movie.

It's a great movie. And someone will be watching it when Pigg and theaters would watch it. Right. Because it's a great movie. It's a great movie. Someone will be watching it when people's and theaters, which it is now. Now under trivia for Jujitsu, it says that you performed all your own stunts, but it doesn't appear that's the case. Can you explain that to me? I have another self that performs stunts for me, but it's still me because when he's performing

the stunts, I've put myself in his mindset. Oh, like the cat from James Bond. Yeah, the one that's close to him. Exactly. Yeah, he throws his mind into all, into Tally's avalice or, you know, the other guys. So that's what I do with a body that just knows how to do this stuff, the stunts.

And just before we lose you, Nick. No, I'm here. Okay, well, you're in definitely not here. All I got on my agenda just for today was the answer calls, should they come in and look for this pig, and I'm not making too much process on the pig, so. Which any tips for summertime fun?

Here's what I like to do in the summer. Okay, number one, do you have board shorts? Oh yeah, you don't even need a board. Oh, no, okay, I just get the shorts. Okay, number two, I like to put a lot of zinc on my nose because it makes me feel like a lifeguard. And you know what, there's no one we trust more in this world than a teenager who's been hired for the summer

to save middle aged people if he notices them while he's trying to chat up the ladies. So I like to put myself in that mindset. And you get to carry one on one of those big red thingies that kind of floats. What do they use them for? I don't know. You know those lifeguard thingies that they have, the big red things. Yeah. They're supposed to kind of float, right? It's my assumption. I've never used it. Yeah. So Stuart's fake trivia about Juzicic, who made me, sent me to IMDB for the real trivia page. Number one, just because we mentioned them before, it says Nicholas Cage replaced Bruce

Willis. So that's a. Whoa. Oh. Oh. But now. I did. Wow.

Not even in the movie. They told me first choice. But okay, that's good to know. I have some conversations I need to have with the producer of Hardbotties too. Here's another piece of trivia. And this is IMDB and we can put this in here. I don't know if it's accurate, but it says Brax's face was actually a doodle done by Nick Cage while he was drunk that the producer's thought was terrifying enough to put the movie.

Now it seems like it could be a joke, but I put that in and I will not tell you if it's true or not. Okay. But I often put in trivia for my movies, and it's a little game I play where I like to see which things get picked up by the press. And then I'm like, ah, you got caged. That's another is another cage classic is just for instance in in moon struck, if you go to the IMDV entry in the trivia section, it just says cage rules with a Z at the end of the art rule

instead of a next that's one of my media to the media picked that one up. It was I think it was in it was it was in Ukrainian people magazine Ukrainian people magazine had a story does cage rules and they didn't really understand the grammar of it but it got picked up by the wires, I guess. Anyway, I think I just saw a pig. So let me just tell you my other quick summer fun thing, which is load up on noodles and load up on tickles. Can't go wrong with either one.

Okay, so I gotta, and if you're gonna go swimming, make sure to eat a big spaghetti dinner right before you do. That's Nick Cage with his summer fun safety tips. That's not big that ones for wrong, but... Anyway, I think that's my pig over there. It's A pig. Might be a pig. Let me say it might be...

It's a pig. It's a pig. The way above it says some pig. So it might be my pig. So I'll see you guys later and I have a good bye. So, okay. Next we have the memorial section. Ellie, you're back.

You won't believe who was on the phone. I always seem to miss the exciting things. Who was on the phone? We'll tell you when you're older. When I'm older, okay, so it was sex. It was sex. Okay, that's not appropriate now. So we find out in this next section

that Wiley was Jake's father, which seems unlikely, but okay, that's fine. Yeah, that's a weird reveal. It bears, it has no bearing on anything else. But then we get a flashback of a younger man with the same haircut. Yeah. You like it, gotta be true. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, because characters in movies, they don't change their hair or clothes. That's why Old Han Solo wears the same vest as Young Han Solo. And old Wiley has the same hair as Young Wiley. We do get a flashback of a kid being taught to jiu-jitsu by Nicholas Cage's stunt double. On a beach somewhere, maybe it's in a desert. Anyway, the army translator shows up, I forgot. She's got the old Burmese couple. They give first aid to non-chuck lady who needed it.

And Burmese lady is like, non-chuck lady shouldn't move. The stitches need to heal. And the interpreter, Krabman is like, she says she's good to go, which never ple- and so you're supposed to be like, oh, in the final fight, is she gonna get hurt? No, she's fine. They use those great, those instant stitches.

Bragg shows up, shooting blades everywhere. The interpreter runs off. This is when the old lady, as mentioned before, starts blasting at Bragg racks with a huge shotgun. And he, he, as they say, it's pretty effective. And he's like, they, anyway, we're just swords in this guy the whole time. She should have gone for head shots,

just aim for that Nicholas Cage doodle behind that class. Right in the doodle. Now I feel like it's like, if we want to use that Nick Cage doodle, if we use it on screen the whole time, we got to pay him. So every now and then, those just be dry eyes fog inside that night just to cover it up. Next, it's the final section time to die.

Brax and Jake finally have their showdown in the old temple's Brax Memorial Congregation room, the Brax Community Center. And Brax is right by the big portal. Yes, it's in the book. It's not a portal now. It's just a stone circle thing. Stone circle, which will become a portal. Brax really kicks Jake's ass for a while.

He is by far the least effective fighter against Brax up to this point. And it really does make you wonder why he is the chosen jujitsu that Brax was like, so was so into. Like Brax is so thirsty to fight him. And it's just like rushing his way through all the other fights. And when he finally gets to it, he's got to be a disappointment. You got to imagine.

Yeah, this is like a serious C grade Scott Adkins type guy. I can ask the lead steward to have you seen him and other. No, I looked him up and it looks like his main credits are like our previous movies directed by the same director like kickboxer or revelations or something. Kickboxer vengeance and kickboxer retaliation. Thank you. Oh, my mistake.

And he's a stuntman. Like an asshole. Yeah, and you may be recognized him as a, oh, this is, he's a, he's a, he's a multiple flop house appearance guy. He was a stuntman in a mortals white house down and, um, and suicide squad. So this is actually on uncredited gladiator in Pompeii. So he's so this is actually like his sixth movie

that the flowers is covering. That's amazing. Oh wow, I didn't I had no idea until this moment that he was a flop house. He was multi-day. Yeah, he's been and so yeah, he's flop house royalty. It's right up there with that when we did that Nicholas Cage movie, was that called primal the one where he's a hunter and there's that killer and the guy playing the killer.

I'm full, I think. Prime evil. And the guy playing the killer, that was like the sixth Flapphouse movie he had been in. So, the dream is possible. Actors out there, you may never get an E-GOT, but you may get the coveted Flapp VI. Yeah. That's when you've been in six Flapphouse movies, we send you a ring in the shape of the number six. You cannot fit it on your finger,

because the ring part is very little. Where else you'd have like this, like this huge thing sticking out of the side of it. You can't wear either way. Anyway, keep, keep reaching. You get a, I saw a graduate Tory phone call from Gerard Butler. Yeah.

Yeah. The OG flop six. Yeah, I'll be, I've been letter you are, and it's real exciting. Just don't, don't, don't, don't lose sight of who you are. Yeah, I'll be, I've been with you, and it's real exciting. Just don't, don't, don't decide who you are. Yeah, I don't, it's the worst guy I've ever done in my life. Okay, anyway, so that's your about their calling. Guys, okay, if this big fight's gone, Jake realizes,

or actually, I'm not sure if he realizes, but he kind of looks into the fact that if he stands behind a flaming brazier that it messes with Brax's heat vision. And this is one of those things where- How was this the first time they figured this out? I, to me, for a little at this point, I don't think a lot of thought has been put into how Brax works on his fight.

Yeah, the Brax rules just change wildly. Brax has a different set of weapons every fight. Like, yeah, you don't try and figure out Brax, man. He's in a nigma. There's a reason there's a sitcom called Eight Simple Rules for Fighting My Brax. Brax, just because the character. It's art, because there's no rules.

Yeah, it's because John Ritter passed away. Yeah, that's why he was. That's the main reason. Was it an odd choice for Brax since he didn't have any particular martial arts? I mean, it's that, and look, if John Ritter approaches you, and you're an alien, only gets to be on Earth once every six years, because of a comic, and look, if John Ridder approaches you and you're an alien, only gets to be on Earth once every six years,

because of a comic. And says, do you wanna do a show with me? Cause I wanna be in the Brax business. You go with it, John Ridder, come on, he's a legend, he's a laryse, super nice guy, everybody says. A star of the hit movie, stay tuned. You can't, you don't say no to John Ridder. So of course Brax is gonna go with that.

Of course things didn't work out, but you can't blame Brax for that. This brings me to another issue I have with Brax, which is much like the predator or a Uelbrenner in Westworld. He is a super intense assassin master, whose eyesight is worse than my eyesight, and I have bad eyesight. Like he only sees kind of like heat

and the blurriest of forms makes you wonder how he's such a good fighter. Jordan, okay, let's say you're Brax. Okay. You can't see very well. He has an extreme stigmatism. He can only, or as stigmatism I should say, he can only see heat. How do you compensate for that and become such a great fighter? Oh gosh, I mean, I guess you just you hone those other senses, right? Yes, so maybe the study was stick. That's what it is. Just like the young Matt Murdoch did. Sure, sure. Yeah, maybe Brax has been hunting

by smell this whole time. Okay, hunting by smell. The Bra. Sure, sure. Yeah, maybe Brax has been hunting by smell this whole time. Oh, okay. Hunting by smell, the Brax story. Sure, yeah, I think that begs you. No, don't eat sardines around Brax. Yeah, I mean, these guys are all super ripped and they're working out all the time and they don't have like sleeves to contain their smell.

So like, it's gotta be like onion city in there. That's true, the pheromones are just leaking out of their armpits from those sleeves. I don't know if you've ever had Burmese food either, but it's a very pungent food. Probably, yeah. Now, I got to know how says one, that hunting by smell sounds like weirdo

was trying to do a guided by voices parody, and he just wasn't there. He just couldn't figure it out. He's like, is guided by voices popular enough to parody? So he has a long list of names and hunting by smell is one of them. And they're like, I don't usually parody like the name of the band.

What am I doing? Sure. You know what? I'll just do something off of the bad guy. I'll be the sad guy. Okay, great. And it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a Billie Eilish parody that's about

the Steve Martin movie, the lonely guy. Great. Okay, perfect. Done. Al, can I pitch the bad pie? Yeah. Actually, that's a better one. Yeah, okay, I'll go with it.

Yeah, the bad pie. I'll give you a, a strong a better one. Yeah, okay, I'll go with it. Yeah, the bad buy. I'll give you a strong story bike. Just two episodes of the lineup. Weird out talking. That's true. The last one had a lot of weird out talking. Okay. So anyway, they come up with a great plan

to defeat Brax. To defeat Brax, which is break all the rules. The comment's passing. The portal opens. That's when Jake remembers Brax has to heal sometimes. He slashing with a sword, nunchucksly shoots him with an explosive dart. The interpreter tosses Jake grenade, which he sticks into Brax's wound before it can heal. And then he kicks him into the portal just as the grenade explodes. Oh, yeah, they're just in time. The portal closes. Everyone is fine. And the Burmese Fisherwoman, she

says, Jake, you were born to do that and end a 2000 year epoch, which is a new idea that has just been introduced into the movie. That this is the end of, I guess, some sort of era of cosmic and mystical revelation, you know. I, yeah, it was hard to tell, like, is the explosion in the portal? Was it supposed to be that that destroyed the portal? Because there certainly was a very big fireball for a grenade. Yeah, a little bit.

It's a grenade, a typical grenade thing in general, but who knows? Who knows? It's just amazing. Yeah, I mean, I guess we're living in what, what, one AB after Brax? That's it. That's how we have to number everything.

I'm still writing, I'm still writing A, D on my checks, but I need to be writing A, B on them. Terrible sitcom after Brax. And I know Brax. What happens on this sitcom? Well, I mean, it's just, you know, they're peacefully living their lives near the temple. But remembering Brax fondly.

It's kind of, most, most sitcoms don't take place in a world where an alien has to fight jujitsu with everybody. So I guess, take it up with the producers of After Brax. I don't know what you're talking about. I guess so. It's been like in the Big Bang theory or nurses or empty nest, you don't suddenly have Brax show up and fight everybody. So, you know, okay, and the interpreter starts to show up.

I feel like of the three you mentioned empty nest is the one that would that Brax would fit in the best. You think so? Really? That really him and Richard Mulligan just be hanging out. Yeah. Or would they be fighting a little bit of both. I mean, considering, okay, an old lady here jumps in with a shotgun to save everyone, save the day empty nest.

He lives across the street from the golden girls. You could totally see Dorothy just jumping in with a shotgun and blasting Brax away, making a joke about how much you remind her of her ex-husband and then leaving. Yeah. Yeah. I think we've all dated a Brax in our time. Huh, fellas, you guys know it. We've all dated a couple of Brax. We can't always see their face because of their Brax.

Uncleare rules on how to kill them. Yeah, they're like, Brax, enough mind games. Just tell me what you need. Right. What are we, brats? What are we? Yep. Are you just chasing me around the forest

with shuriken? So you're chasing me with shurikens. And then when I need you to come with me to my grandma's funeral, you went through a portal to your home planet. Right. You're unreliable, brats. You should conveniently show up every time

the comments flies by. But when my biological clock is ticking, you're nowhere to be found. Maybe this is eight simple rules for dating black. Yeah, or after breaks, you know, before breaks. Anyway, so. Elliot's always talking about his biological clock on the show, Jordan. It's getting to be a little uncomfortable, considering that you already have multiple children. I do, but my clock is really ticking

and my goal was to beat the duggers and have 27 children and I started late. So I really got to her. If I don't have 10 children in the next two years and then seven the year after that, I am not gonna meet my quota. Stu, Dan, what are you guys knock him up already? Jesus Christ.

Stick a baby in there, please. Yeah, or 10 babies, preferably. so they call me Deca mom. Anyway, there's 10 babies. So the interpreter toast the portal as they all walk out and says, see you in six years. Like, because clearly you did not understand what the Burmese fish woman was saying. Cause she made it very clear. Bracks is not coming back. She, well, no, but there was like, there were like, I think there was some debate, like, he was like, so does that mean it's over? And it was like, who knows?

Like, I guess now it's Brad Madman's job. And how this over forms. Watch over the world. I don't know. Um, hey, let's, let's just do our final judgments whether this is a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie we kind of liked. For about the first half, I will say it was a movie I kind of liked. I was like, oh yeah, this is like the cinematography rides a line between innovative and goofy as shit and some of the

fights are really fun. And then, I don't know, like, there came a point where I'm like, how's there still 40 minutes in this movie? Like, it really felt like the movie was winding down and I just sort of lost steam. So, but it is fun to watch. Like, there's a lot of it that's very silly and Nicholas Cage is fun.

And, you know, like, if you wanna see see a bunch of CGI like Dust Fly everywhere, I guess I'll say good bad movie for me. If you want to see CGI Dust Fly in every word, either this or the Golden Compass, those are only two options. Yeah, or old episodes of Buffy. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I'm gonna say, I think this movie would have achieved,

I really like Nicholas Cage in it. I feel like he brings a real verb to Wiley. Otherwise, I found it just very dull. I think I would have to call it a bad, bad movie. I think it would have found its best life as probably like a 15 minute YouTube movie. And then I would have been like, wow, that was some amazing fight choreography

for this 15 minute YouTube movie. But as a movie movie, it didn't really hold my attention. Maybe if there's more variety with the fights, maybe if Brax was a more charismatic villain, maybe if Jake had more to him, maybe if Tony Jobs the star, I don't know. I can't tell you, you don't live in those alternate universes that didn't quite work for me. Stu, what do you say? Yeah, I mean, so much of it is like a GoPro martial arts demo reel. Nicholas Cage does add some much-needed charisma to the film.

And as somebody who consumes a fair amount of cheapo martial arts movies, I found this one to be pretty disappointing. I would say it's like it straddles the line between a bad bad and a good bad and Nicholas Cage I think might edge it, edge it into good bad territory. Okay, and Jordan, you're the deciding vote. Yeah, I think I'm I'm I'm aligned with Stu on this one. I have not seen as many of those kind of GP Red Box martial arts movies, but I have seen a few of the Universal Soldier sequels, which I think are a better version of this, kind of just like fights for Fight's sake, but they're very impressive, and the, you know, leads have a little more charisma.

So I think if you're looking for kind of like, you know, just a fight soup to put on, those are probably better for that. But yeah, I think this has enough goofiness and, you know, it has that big cage performance we all love. I think there's better examples of this certainly. You got your drive-angries, you got your moms and dads, you got your mandies. All of those kind of give you this flavor of cage, but in a movie that's a little bit better. But yeah, I don't know. I had fun with it. I had fun kind of watching it for the purpose of goofing on it for this podcast. So yeah, I think I'll give it a slight good bad.

And definitely it gets points for being kind of an easy stream on Netflix as opposed to something you have to Fire red that's so if you have Netflix you might as well watch it because it's there. Yeah, it is there Business model Netflix you're still subscribing to us. You're giving us the 10 bucks Like you guys do you guys ever see when they release like the list of the 10 most popular, most watched movies on the list? It's always these movies have not watched at all. They're all like the big action movies. Yeah, except for like old guard, which is great.

But all the other ones are like, what did Adam Sandler make? Yeah, well, because a lot of that is also like, people I think literally turn on Netflix and then just press play on whatever Netflix puts on display as like the ad on the main screen. So when Netflix is like our algorithm, pick looks at what you've watched and picks the perfect thing for you. It's like really,

because it just always recommends whatever the big movie Netflix is pushing that week. Like I don't know, there's nothing in my watch history that makes me think that the, the, what was it that the crazy eights? What was the Western that he did? The goofy, oh the ridiculous six. There's something like that.

Like a ridiculous seven. There's nothing in my watch history that makes me think I want an Adam Zalin movie, but you're recommending it to me. So I think it's a, or this, uh, yeah, you, you, you're in for like an algorithm as tight and as personalized as your porn hub algorithm. And just saying it, I, I try one thing once and then it sends me more of that thing, you know, and then it, of course, it's a lot of QAnon stuff, which is exactly what I'm looking for.

But it's QAnon point. So, where we come one, we come all. That's the same. One thing I will say about the Netflix put the movie on the top and how it auto plays its trailer is the trailers are built to tell you everything that happens in the movie. So there was that movie where there's an architectural dig like behind a house in England in the 1930s or something like that, in the 1940s. And my wife was like, this is exactly the kind of movie I would want to watch. And we watched the trailer for a few minutes and she's like, I think I just saw the movie.

Like they showed me all the plot points. So thank you Netflix for saving us that time. And thank you Netflix for bringing us that time and thank you Netflix for bringing us jujitsu. Prepare yourself for the greatest pro wrestling podcast, spectacular known as Tarzan. A back-drobbing audio showcase that helps you understand the world of pro wrestling with a lot of love and no toxic masculinity. Victory host, Danielle Radford.

Time to kick button, Chuga. And I'm all out of butts. Lizzie, girl. I'm a brutal Brit, and my fists were made to punch and hit. And how loblin! I was doing the voiceover this whole time. He rests talk about pro wrestling's greatest triumphs and failures, and make fun of its weekly absurdities.

On the perfect wrestling podcast. Targets and fights. Every Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday on Maximum Fine. Hi, I'm Bez, and I'm Teresa, and we're the hosts of One Bad Mother, a podcast about parenting. Parenting is hard, and we have no advice, but we do see you doing it.

Hulk, if you like to do it, what was it? Didn't we have a bumper sticker a while back that was like, Hulk, if you did it? That's what I thought. I think it was hunk if you're doing it. Why did we not ever make them? We did like them.

I think they're still in the max fun store. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Maximumfun.org. Hong Kong, tuh tuh. The flop house is sponsored in part by Storyblocks. Storyblocks helps you bring your stories to life without sacrificing your vision. Storyblocks Unlimited All Access Plan gives you unlimited downloads of the over 1 million plus assets in their library. Wow, 1 million plus. You can try out multiple options quickly

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Explore their library and subscribe today at storyblocks.com slash flop. That's storyblocks.com slash flop. Yeah, the flop has also sponsored in part by Green Chef. Now, Green Chef is the first USDA certified organic meal kit company. It makes eating well easy and affordable with plans to fit every lifestyle. Now, Green Sheff is the first USDA certified organic meal kit company. Makes eating well easy and affordable with plans to fit every lifestyle. Now, Green Sheff is owned by HelloFresh, and I have used HelloFresh in the past, but by being a part of it, they now have a much larger variety of options to kind of fit whatever your diet or your dietary

restrictions or whatever your lifestyle supports. I was excited to see that they have a carb conscious as well as a keto option because I find that keto, keto meal kits don't usually fit exactly what my wife and I like to eat. The ingredients all come pre-measured. They're perfectly portioned and prepped so you don't actually have to spend that much time working on that. You mainly just put things together, and like a lot of, if you've used a meal kit company in the past, it's a great way to kind of expand your cooking experience and maybe learn some new things for when you're cooking at home.

Respecies are quick and easy. They're step-by-step instructions, tips, and photos to guide you along. So just head over to greenchef.com slash flopphouse100. All uppercase, flopphouse100 and use code once again, flopphouse100 to get $100 off, including free shipping. That's crazy. That's greenchef.com slash flop house 100 to get $100 off. Now, is that 100, the number or 100? 100 the number.

My mistake for not being clear, clear. Flop house all uppercase 100, the numbers. Not a mistake merely an almost deadly oversight. And we do have a jumbo tron as well. It's a jumbo tron time everybody. This jumbo tron comes with from Mike Queller and he says, the Weird Tales podcast provides weekly readings of Weird Fiction, Lovecraft, Arthur Mason, Clark Ashton Smith, et al. Horror and very occasionally sci-fi. Shocktober provides for longer works with a chapter every day during the month's search for the Weird Tales podcast in iTunes and subscribe.

It sounds like fun to me. It sounds like classic Weird Tales from the Masters of the genre. So, hey, sometimes people write us letters and then we answer them on the show. And that's a segment that's, I don't know, called the Flapphouse Millbag, I guess. You can tell Dan loves it from the energy he's bringing to it. Hey, this one's from Kevin Lasting with Held. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, though, we're not sorbos. Oh, it is. Hey, do you guys know God's not dead? Follow me on Twitter. You'll like me more. Hey, you guys are making fun of me earlier in the show.

I can take a joke. I can take a joke. Just know that I'll snap your next. I've still got those Hercules guns. And they was a, by that and even the guns I bought while I was working at Hercules Uh-huh, but I used to shoot the Neemian lion Hey flappers How would guns help with the Neemian lion? I guess you shot him in the eyeballs I mean the eyeballs because it's the skin that's the that's super tough

Yeah, well what you do is you first you you show him a picture of something very shocking The Neemian lion opens its eyes super wide and then you blast Here's what you do you take the Neemian lion opens its eyes super wide, and then you blast. Here's what you do. You take the Neemian line to see a red hot riding hood performing at the night light. When he sees how sexy she is, his eyes will burst out of his head, and it'll be so busy pounding the table as his tongue unravels that you can just take your time in destroying him. Where's the hydrant, too?

Kevin writes, Hey Floppers, I know it's become a popular cliche to complain that Hollywood doesn't have any original ideas anymore. Even though I think people have probably been saying that since the concept of Hollywood became a thing. But as tries that sounds, I've been thinking lately about films that have potential to be good, but suffer too much from their connection to their to the source material.

For example, yeah, pardon me, for example, I think I would have enjoyed the movie Joker a lot more if it had been the story of a failed comedian dealing with a murderous trauma-induced mental illness and didn't have to carry the burden of the Joker mythology. Or in a different vein, I would have found the greatest showman, more appealing, as an ambitious musical about a fictional circus manager than a biopic about terrible human being PT Barnum. Plus, the creators could likely have made more interesting choices without them feeling out of place. I'm curious, do you all have movies that you wish had been disconnected from the larger stories that inspired them? Thanks for considering Kevin Less' name with Held. stories that inspired them. Thanks for considering Kevin last name withheld. Well, I think I think I've gone on record before on you. This

are other podcasts and saying how I think solo would have been a more enjoyable movie if it was not a Star Wars movie. Almost the same movie, but you take out Chubaka and you just change the character's names and then it wouldn't have all the pressure of being it's basically ice pirates then. Go for it. Sure. Sure. Why not? To see a big budget, fun ice pirates, yeah, I'll go for it.

Whereas when you're watching solo, you're like, okay, I have to see this because of Star Wars. Because by law, I have to see all the Star Wars content. And oh, they really need to explain to me why Chewbacca's nickname is Chewie, or why his last name is solo. I don't need that. So I think it wouldn't have gotten made if it was not a Star Wars movie, but I think it would have been a more enjoyable movie if it was not carrying that freight. I think you're totally right.

I put on Solo the other day and I'm like, this is kind of great. The Callback stuff is really, is clunky certainly, and like, and you know, kind of groany humor, but like, everything that's not that in that movie is a blast. It's really fun. Yeah, I feel like maybe solos under a bus unfairly, but that stuff is pretty cringey. So I understand how it kind of colored people's opinion

at the movie. And also the whole, when they free all those droids and the droids are like, we hate work, we hate work, we're free. And you're like, oh, okay, soids and the droids are like, we hate work, we hate work, we're free. And you're like, oh, okay, so like all the other characters are slave owners. Because without that scene, then the rest of the Star Wars series does not feel like the droids are basically against

their will be being forced to do jobs. So it's, and you don't get the implication that Lando is like in love with the droid, but then keeps her alive beyond death in his spaceship, which is weird. Like, uh, it does say if that if a, oh, so you never fucked a spaceship, Elliot. Oh, okay. I'm so judgey. So fucking judgey. Well, you're right. I've done it many times and as Stuart said, my, my porn porn algorithm is all spaceship scenes, but, uh, but I. But I think it's like, I like that more as something that a new character that is weird does than Billy DeWilliams who I'm supposed to think is cool if

morally gray at times. What about you guys? Now that I picked the easiest one, what do you say? Yeah, I mean, obviously mine's passion to the Christ. Stay in yours. If it. That's what I thought. If it was just about some dude just getting tortured and that was some wizard getting tortured.

Geez, I don't, I mean, I don't really, like a lot of them are things like, yeah, I think it's more tethered to, I think it's clear that I don't have a good answer for this because I'm, I'm, I'm hamming and hawing. And as Elliott points to that points out frequently, I've had the letters much longer than anyone else. But this is not exactly appropriate, but I remember watching I watched for a podcast guest appearance recently I rewatched the secret of an M. magic stuff that gets shoehorned into the movie better. If I didn't know that the source material doesn't have it, like it's such an unnecessary addition to the film

that just is in there because, you know, Don Bluth's like, this is an animated movie, it's got to have magic, but it should be a sci-fi story. In the book, Nicodemus doesn't have like a magic viewing lens that he can see things with and things like that. Yes, which also appears to be electrical. So it's hard to say this is like weird magic hybrid thing that he's looking for. Love it.

Yeah. Love it. No faults for me. It's a beautiful movie. I love it. I mean, Don Bluth is here. And this is his my hot take on Don Bluth. Is that Don Bluth was a great animator, not necessarily a great storyteller.

Like, not a guy who really fully understood story, but his animation is when he gets the budget that he needs is beautiful. You know, there's a reason he felt comfortable leaving Disney and starting his own company, you know. You know what's more fun to watch on YouTube is a playthrough of Dragon's Lair. And Dragon's Lair too.

Those, I mean, cold take, those games fucking suck and we're frustrating and we're just like quarter sucks in the arcade, but like, yeah. They're gorgeous. They're gorgeous. They're gorgeous. Yeah, put on fucking Dragon's Lair on YouTube and just like enjoy some visuals.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It may be like an upsettingly scantily clad princess that maybe shouldn't have been so scantily clad considering it was a game for kids. But hey look, I- But if a kid gets that fucking far in the game, that kid's a grownup. Let him see some cleavage. God damn it. He put in 18 bucks. Dumbooth was like, no kids ever gonna get this far. Don't worry about it. This is nude from a certain point on. The night's not wearing clothes, you know.

Gotta learn about princesses somewhere. Yeah, return to the Jedi, Dan. That's the place to learn about princesses not wearing enough clothes. Return to the Jedi. This is from a listener named Kelly. Who writes? Kelly Ripa.

Hey, hey, peaches. Kapausky. Inspired by your pretty name. Kelly Ripa Kapausky. Ripa was her maiden name, andaches. Kepowski. Inspired by your opinion. Kelly Ripa Kepowski. Ripa was her maiden name. Kepowski is her married name. Inspired by your prequel, many and a recent Indiana Jones binge, I'm thinking about the unnecessary explanation of character traits that happens in prequels. Specific, Dandy. I feel like having a snake phobia with no actual qualifying event makes sense.

I'm terrified of spiders and have never had an actual scary or bad encounter with one as an example. There's also, he also could have just seen a hat and a leather jacket in a store and been like, that would look cool on me. So my question for the letter, what aspect of your personality would you like to have in an unnecessary prequel explanation? Not to do Elliot's work for him, but like I don't see the need for prequel scene establishing why he loves Popeyes, but that works as an example for me.

Say my name, Kelly. I think I think I would love to see an explanation as to why I have my famous eczema Famous. Yeah, I'm very famous for my trade trademark eczema. Yeah, and I don't know how did it happen? Did I did I get into an accident and a dry skin fact when I was a kid? But you can't say it hasn't worked out for you I mean all those ads you do for the egg council It's just can't spell eggs them over that eggs and you're holding an egg and your skin is all blotchy and everything.

Oh, I've made millions on this. Yeah. It's put the kids you don't have through college. Yeah, if you're looking for like a classic unnecessary one, then I think you can't do better than like being like, let's explain why Dan likes butts. I mean, he is, he is a heterosexual man who is attracted to a secondary sex characteristic that many other

heterosexual men are attracted to women's butts. I mean, men's butts also find a fine choice. But yeah, if you like when you were a kid, a butt pulled you out of a raging river. Exactly. I was gonna say, I'm drowning. Yay! Or from a fire.

It gave him mouth to butt recestation. Oh, wow. And so now I see it all because it's Dan's eye view. It's all, it's black, but then it's all blurry. And slowly the butt comes into focus. And Dan is just like, what? But then the butt, there's a dog barking because the butt is running from the federal marshals and the bus has got to go and runs away and Dan is just like, what was that?

Did I dream? And the federal marshals... We are giving you the ace of insuritair door here. Yes, you're right. The federal marshals stop, they go, kid, didn't hurt you, didn't hurt you. And you go, no, it saved my life. What was it? And they go, it was a butt.

And he goes, really? Take me home, officer it was a butt. And he goes, really? Take me home, officer. Mix a lot. Yeah, obviously for me, it would be my award-winning dimples and like maybe like, I forgot when you swept the dimfies there. And yeah, like when I was born, a doctor like, like poked me with calipers or something to measure the circumference of my head. And that was awesome.

The doctor was eating at the same time as delivering you and accidentally picked you up with chopsticks and left a deal. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, actually. Yeah, good stuff. Yeah, I think for me it would probably be my height. Maybe there was like, like, puck from Alpha Flight. I maybe I was a normal sized human

who some kind of magical curse was put on me that made me less than average height. I think that could be it. Yeah. I like this magical real estate on the flop house podcast. Get me get Marquez on the phone. He can finally write that flop house novel. He's been begging us for all this time. Yeah, finally, thank you. Hey, let's move on to recommendations of movies that you probably should watch instead of this. Put on after jujitsu. You know, put it on instead. Um, Dan's just pulling up the old letter by. I can't. Shut up. Dan, do you want one of us? Do you want one of us to do it while you're with me? No, I'm not.

I'm sure Stuart, why don't you go? Yeah, I'm going to recommend another thing you can watch on Netflix. I'm actually going to recommend three things you can watch on Netflix. I'm going to recommend the Fear Street trilogy that just went up there. It's three horror movies based on a series of books by Mr. R. L. Stein, Reginald Lincoln Stein. They are kind of like slashery movies and there's some supernatural elements

and they have a ton of fucking needle drops. So if you wanna hear music from 1994 and the 70s, you are gonna get a ton of those. But I found them to be a lot of fun. They, it was probably the most fun I've had with a kind of a take on Slasher films and like a super long time, it doesn't feel like beholden to some like the grosser conventions of Slaseries.

The most fun you've had since the hit comic book series, Maniac of New York. With Maniac Halen, yeah. Which obviously, Maniac of New York, with Maniac Halen, yeah. Which obviously, Maniac of New York buttered me up and got me excited about Slasher stuff again. And like Maniac of New York, it's much more fun than just the Slasher stuff

that it is referencing. It's great, it's a lot of fun. And it's also super gory. I mean, this chick, oh man, there's a bread slicer part. It's so fucking gross. It's awesome. Thumbs up. Does it wait. Does it get cut off? No, I'm not spoiling it. I just already said bread slicer part. Yeah, don't spoil it. That's, yeah, it sounds horrifying already. I had Stu go first just to make sure he wasn't going to recommend what I was thinking

about recommending because we went out and we saw the movie together we had a we had a movie date we went to the film forum and we saw blue collar the film from 1978 from by and written by Paul Schrader yeah director of heartbeeps right yeah thank you he went right off of that to heartbeats. Bluke, they saw Bluke, Andy Kaufman saw Andy, and so Bluke call her and said, get me that man. He's making my robot love comedy. But a terrific cast, you got, you got Yaffat Cotto,

you got Harvey Kaitel, you got Richard Pryor. Probably I would say the best performance from Richard Pryor, we got to have, like he's so good in this that you sort of wish that other people had used him as well, but he was unfortunately kind of ill-served in a lot of his movies, but. And I learned two things that Richard Pryor without a mustache, looks a little weird.

And Harvey Kitell was fucking ripped, dude. And he wears these, like all the toes of the movie are amazing. But he wears this fucking Big Mac t-shirt that like I would kill for. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it is a movie that is a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a how capitalism screws the worker, but for all that. Luckily, it's a real period piece. It's no longer relevant to the community.

It's both going to five like that. But for all that, it is like, for being so overtly political and having such a clear moral that's basically literally stated at the end of the movie, it is also very suspenseful and very funny and very full of life. So blue collar is great. Blue collar was a great movie.

Even though I was just thinking about the other day because there's a scene where Harvey Catel is going to bed and he's like, oh, I've gotta go check something at work and he leaves and has an all night party with Yofat Kodo and Richard Pryor. The dozen ones wife to know about and then he goes home in the morning. And I just think about it being like,

he must be so exhausted the whole next day. He got no sleep at all. And now he's gonna go work in a factory. Like a car factory. A car factory. Two coffees. Yeah, he's gonna have so much coffee. How much soda is he gonna drink?

But anyway, it was one thing where I was like only in the movies, because the idea of going without the few hours of sleep I get would be just for the purpose of having an orgy with my friends would be, I'm sorry, I'm gonna say no, I need the sleep. Yeah, like, Ellie in this 20s, he needs to be on the orgy, it sounds like. I guess it's just us.

It's just be us doing some mouth to butt recentestation. Well, tell me about it, I guess. I wanted to recommend a movie that shares a name with a Nicholas Cage movie since this is Cage or Saint July, but it is not a Nicholas Cage movie. That's right. Season of the Witch, not the Nicholas Cage one that we did on the flop house years ago. This is Season of Witch, also known in some places

under the title Hungry Wives. Not speaking of these with Hungry Eyes, the song. And this is a George Romero movie from 1973. For a second, I thought you had gotten to see an early screening of Snake Eyes, which is also a movie. And James said I am with a Nicholas Cage. Because you know, I love those GI Joe spin-offs.

So season the witch is, it's a George Romero movie and it's a, ostensibly a horror movie, but the horror is more about the suffocating lack of satisfaction that comes with being a housewife in the 1970s. This woman who has a teenage daughter and a husband who does not pay attention to her, she finds that her life has become kind of empty and meaningless, and she's having nightmares and eventually finds herself in dabbling in witchcraft and becoming a witch, joining a local coven. And I thought it was really great the the horror stuff really takes a backseat, but it still has this feeling of kind of like dread and ominous

tension to it. Not all the acting is amazing. That's fine, but the movie was kind of like dread and ominous tension to it. Not only acting is amazing, that's fine, but the movie was kind of like, I started thinking about it almost as a prequel to hereditary. Like this is the story of the mom who has died before hereditary starts. And like how a woman like that gets into witchcraft because she needs it in her life, you know, basically. And so I really enjoyed it. And it's called season of Low Witch, but it's again, not the one we think was cage. It's the one from the 70s. But you're in white Jordan. Yeah, so I saw a movie called Let Him Go. This is Diane Lainon Kevin

Costner. This was a release last year. It was kind of one of those COVID dumps to streaming. So it kind of got lost in the shuffle. It is now on HBO. It is terrific. One of the best kind of recent movies I've seen in a long time, it starts out. It is it is the story of a husband and wife who, this is kind of happens in the first couple minutes of the movie, they experience a loss. And the first half of the movie is like them dealing with the loss. It is very like, you know, high drama, it is not genre. It is just like, it plays like a movie that would win an Oscar in 1996. Like it is just like a sad older couple dealing with mortality and then it turns into the classiest fucking taken movie

You've ever seen like it just pivots into being a thriller and it is so tense and so terrifying and then it has this very like Action-packed you know The kind of final you know final. And it kind of like gets campy in a way. Like it gets campy in this really fun way. So you kind of start out, you know, in this world of very like straight lace drama. And it just takes you on a ride. And it has a bunch of cool stuff. I won't spoil too much of it. I think it's, it's maybe best to go in kind of cold, but just know that you're on in for a real genre ride and

Yeah, it's terrific. I really loved it. It's called let him go and you can watch it on the HBO HBO yeah, I remember I had forgotten about that movie I haven't seen it, but I remember hearing that it was good when it came out originally. Yeah, I'd like to watch that So I am definitely inviting me to watch it with you. Oh, I'm sorry, Elliot. Do you want to come over tonight and watch in Bloodshot? I'm doing the dumps to streaming movies of 2020. Maybe not that one.

All right, I'll call you for Trolls World Tour. Okay. Jordan, thank you. Oh, yeah, Dan. Oh, I just, Trolls World Tour, wonderful to watch, Stone, first of all. number two, let him go. I've definitely like, scrolled by it and thought, maybe. And now you've pushed that over to a yes, but also, I was going to thank you as Ali

was about to thank you. But I also wanted to, like, I know you're here in part to promote bubble. And I want to tell you the fuller version of the story that I told you over text. I was like, I'll save this, because this is good podcast and content. Okay, we're all warmed up, Dan. So I recently went back. This is a new segment of the show called,

Dan's continues a personal conversation on air. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were gonna tell the story of that Wikipedia chunk you sent us where it popsizes this movie and says that the hero fights with his limbs. Yeah, the whole Wikipedia summary for Jesus Jesus is written in a wild fashion. But no, I was just going to say that I know you're here in part to promote bubble your

graphic novel that you wrote, uh, but I, based on the hit max fun podcast of the same name. Yes. Listen to it. And wherever you get your podcast and also buy bubble in bookstores now, yes, exactly. And also maniac of New York while you're at the bookstore and while you're at the bookstore, why not take a look at, let me read some blurbs.

Hold on a second. Uh, no bubble bubble bubble. And when, when you guys are done at the with the, when you're done with the bookstore, go to maybe hinterlands bar or minis bar, you know, I'm not expensive options. I'm playing head over there. Yeah. But bubble, I was a big fan of the podcast. I have not read the graph. And I'm really excited to do so. Yeah. Everyone should go pick it up. Yeah. Thank you. Don't just pick it up. Take it to the register, hand the money for it, and then take it home with you.

But make sure it's enough money to cover the cost of the book. Don't just hand them two or three dollars. Good point, yeah, or like monopoly money. They're not gonna accept that. And if you give them a hundred, get your change. That's a good point. Make sure to open. Make sure to open the extra back.

Guys, why don't you open the door or you won't be able to leave the books to the door? Let's just, I'll say the other two. I wanna, Dan, do the anecdote, and then I'll say the premise of the book, and then we can do whatever else you do on the podcast. Yeah, no, Dan is, I wish Dan hosted the tonight's show, so he'd be like, so you're here to promote this movie.

I want you to tell me the premise of the movie, but first, you remember I was gonna tell you about this thing, I saw it. This is, I like, I did invite this thing. I did not invite the premise. I had it very like anyway, the anecdote. I will. This is fun. It's a personal way in for people.

Anyway, burning a hole in my mouth is a. Tell us that dant to cout. No, I. I went home recently to central Illinois to visit my parents. And I had taken Jord's book with me in the hopes that I would, you know, like that might be a little plane reading. And I was flying back home from the Bloomington Normal Airport, which is a very tiny regional airport. and my bag got selected for random screening perhaps because of the CPAP tube in my luggage.

Maybe the coin collection for my grandfather that was being sent home. I don't know what it was. But in the course of this random screen, we got another coin bomb. Take him out here. The TSA agent pulled out bubble was thumbing through it and said, Oh, I didn't, I didn't know they did a, a, a graphic novel of this. I loved this podcast. And Audrey said, Oh, that's our friend wrote that.

And he goes, Yeah, yeah, I'm a, I'm a, a max fun subscriber. I listen to a lot of shows. I listen to adventure zone, a, a, to Adventure Zone, M'Bim Bam too. I'm like, and I'm just like, yeah, we know those guys too. And the guy goes, okay, well, here you go. And Audrey's like, you listen to all the important shows on the network, all the best shows. You don't need to listen to anything else.

So, but anyway. I think the lesson here is that bubble, the new graphic novel available now is a great way to, you know, smuggle heroin through the airport because the PSA agent will be so busy looking at the beautiful art by Tony Cliff, the wonderful colors by Natalie Areese. They won't notice. As you gesture and the drug mules that you have, not even swallowing the balloons full of heroin, but just holding them.

Right. It's tossing them to each other like footballs as they pass by as TSA is too busy flipping through this beautiful book. Yeah, and you just wrapped those heroin bricks up in flop-housed t-shirts and they're basically invisible to the TSA. Yeah, the TSA is like, no, thank you.

Not familiar. Yeah, so bubble. I familiar. Not familiar. Yeah. So, bubble. I should say, I co-wrote the graphic novel with a great comedy writer named Sarah Morgan. She works on the podcast. It is a sci-fi comedy. It is set in kind of a near future where everybody lives in kind of a domed city. Would you call it a bubble?

I would, Elliot. Yes. It's a, listen, there's some, some less than subtle symbolism in the book. It has some obvious satire that we think everyone will enjoy. The characters kind of work as part of this life or death gig economy where they have to slaughter monsters using this Uber-like app. There's a lot of sex jokes, a lot of gore,

a lot of monsters, a lot of friendship. And yeah, I think people will like it. If you heard the podcast, hopefully there's enough There's a lot of sex jokes, a lot of gore, a lot of monsters, a lot of friendship. And yeah, I think people will like it. If you heard the podcast, hopefully there's enough kind of new stuff and changes to keep you interested. Of course, I mentioned that beautiful art by Tony Cliff and those beautiful colors by Natalie Ries. But also, if you've never heard the podcast, it's not necessary.

There's no information required to enjoy bubble, but also if you're a Max Fun fan, there might be some fun little cameos in there. Let's just say this is not a Southland tale style, multimedia saga, you need to listen to podcast and read the comic, to understand it. This couldn't be more different

than the brilliant film Southland tale. Sally, that's good. No, no required other media to ingest. Bubble it's out there. I think it's fun to talk to the floppess about this particularly because I can take a wild guess and assume that floppess listeners have a relationship with their local comic bookstore and or indie bookstore, which is a great place to get it. You can get it anywhere, but those are better places to get it.

Sounds great. I can't wait to get to pick up my own copy. I apologize, I'm putting up it. It just came out. It just came out, Liz, it's been out for a couple of weeks. A couple of weeks, and these are the notes, and I did go to a bookstore and they said,

we got Bubble Inn and I said, and I just walked through. So, where's that Kevin Sorbo collection of tweets? The Bound collection of Kevin Sorbo tweets. And I want the leather bound edition. You know how to get that other bounds. I want it to last. This is something I'll be handing down to my children.

Yeah, that's gonna be his soul. They're gonna adapt his tweets. Oh boy. Well, anyway, thank you so much as always for a drop and buy. a pleasure. Yeah, it's pretty clear. Thanks, everybody. Thank you to our editor, Alex Smith, for doing fine work for us, making us sound good in producing the show.

And thank you to Max Bum Fun, our network go over to MaxBumFun.org for more podcasts like bubble like bubble. Why you listen to that one, you jerk. But for hard sell, very hard sell as you're being very hard on listener. Yeah. For the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliott Kaylin. Hey, I'm Jordan Morris and I had a great time being here. Praise Brax. Oh, do you guys have something for this? I do, I do, it's not much, but... On this episode we discuss, jujitsu.

From the visionary director who's also the producer of Hard Bodies 2. Wow. That actually accurate. That goes deep. Wow. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned, audience supported.

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