The Flop House - Ep. #356 - The Very Excellent Mr. Dundee, with Ben Harrison

Episode Date: November 20, 2021

Hey, remember Crocodile Dundee? Remember him? Croc? Ol' Mick Dundee? Remember? Crocodile? Crocky D? Anyone? Well, The Very Excellent Mr. Dundee is about how no one remembers Crocodile Dundee star Paul Hogan, and he's also somehow the most important star in Hollywood. Take this strange journey with us, and with our delightful guest Ben Harrison, of The Greatest Generation.Wikipedia entry for The Very Excellent Mr. DundeeMovies recommended in this episode:Last Night in SohoRiders of JusticeParallel MothersWorking GirlsSponsored by Lumi Labs - use FLOP for 30% off anything on microdosegummies.com

On this episode we discuss the very excellent Mr. Dundee. That's not a movie. This is barely a movie. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Oh, hey Dan McCoy, it's me, Stuart Wellington. Oh wow. Hey guys, you're here too, It's me, Elliot Kaylin. And you know what? We also are joined by a very special guest.

Oh, who's that in the corner? That's right. It's Ben Harrison, host of the greatest generation and thing he told me to say and I forget it. It was just a string of letters and numbers. Nice K pod 101.3. It's another podcast co-hosted by Ben. Okay.

The joke is that it's a radio station, but it does have the function of just being a string of nonsense. Yeah, has it made it, I don't want to, I don't want to bring you on and roast you right away, but has it caused trouble with people trying to find this show, the viewers? No, nobody's really trying to find it. I think it's just, it's rich that Stuart, who had a podcast called Till Def, do us a party. Still, fanatically.

Spell the day, it was, it was the one who was like, this name is nonsense. Wow, a title that just confused me. Like, I think until I was like six episodes in. Like, episodes finally realized why it was spelled like that. Yeah, thanks for the Loki drop on my podcast there. If you listen to it at home, want to find it, I think it's still on the urn at somewhere. Yeah, I was, I thought I was coming on to plug my thing, but I'd actually heard it kind of help the other.

No, this is actually the stealth plug for stew's old pot, old death leopard. Hey, if you'd like to hear more of producer Alex, he was the co-host to that with Stewart. And arguably more of me because there's only two of us. So just on, you know, law of average. Okay. So yeah, Ben, thanks so much for coming on. I'll apologize in advance for the movie we watched. Dan was like, we got to watch this movie.

I got a fucking serious boner for it. My exact words are correct. He did say I believe I've been eyeing this one for a while and then with an eggplant emoji afterwards. Before we heated the mics up, Elliot was expressing that he had a lot of worry that he was watching the wrong movie and I felt exactly the same way. I kept checking to make sure this was the movie

we had agreed on, because while we were watching it, I was like, is this like this? I look at the text message so many times. Like, it's really this. This is really? You know, when I was watching it, I felt like, yeah, it seems like it was more of like a series of short YouTube videos, maybe the Paul would

make with his celebrity friends, which is maybe a venue where I would have enjoyed it more, where it finds its national level of just, I don't know, this celebrity goofing around on YouTube. I think it's a, the kind of thing where if you did very little to it and you chopped it into smaller chunks and really said on adult swim as a parody of this type of like a celebrity playing themselves in a, in a show like I feel like this is hilarious. They got it down perfectly, you know, yeah, whichever pretty like dude. Can you believe John Cleese is on an adult swim thing? Yeah. Oh, my mind will be on. He should be on Twitter yelling about woke people for some reason.

He's a very old man, Dan. He's a very old man. Ruining my love of it. He's a very old man who has always loved money. It's not that surprising. Yes, sir. As much as he is one of my still comedy all-stars, I just don't any time.

There's a famous person that I love who is above a certain age. I just assume they will say things that I don't agree with and find horrible. That's the way I feel about him. That's the way I feel about the late Eli Wallach, you know, I just don't know what he would have said. He doesn't know Twitter. Comedy star Eli Wallach.

I mean, speaking of very old men ruining their own reputations, comedically, this movie. Yeah, exactly. Look, but I'm just, this is, you know, guys, I do want to get serious for a moment. They can't all be the late Ed Asner. They're not old celebrities, can be great guys politically. That's just the way it is. So, just be glad we do have some Ed Asners out there and, you know, be ready to ignore things that people say when they're old.

Okay. Guys, speaking of people you would like to ignore when they're old, exactly. Yeah. So, Paul Hogan everybody. So, this is a movie starring Paul Hogan for the younger people in the audience, which I don't think we have that many. Paul Hogan was once very famous for playing the character Crocodile Dundee. Stu Dan Ben, who would like to explain what a crocodile Dundee is? Well, it's not a sequel to Major Dundee, the Sam Packing Palm movie about the Civil War. Just get that out of your head right away. I want to say to explain this old character, I'm going to briefly reference something nearly as old.

The Australia episode of The Simpsons, where they go to Australia and they have like some of the State Department come in and talk about how Australia and US relations have been bad since we like, we're briefly fascinated with them for a couple of years, and then ignore them entirely. And it pans over at Yahoo! Serious film festival, at least it says, I know both of those words, but I don't understand what they're changing. Yeah, who's serious? The star of Young Einstein and reckless Kelly and other movies? Probably other things. But then he founded the search engine Yahoo and he's a billionaire now.

Yeah, he's now he's got some serious money. But yeah, for the younger people in the 1980s, there was a brief Australia craze, which took the form of the movies of Paul Hogan, the crocodile-done-me movies, replaced kind of like an outback outdoorsman who leaves Australia almost immediately in the movie and then is a fish out of water in New York, right? Actually, there's a surprising amount of Australia in that movie. It's almost half and half. And it was like, and he finds it to be an urban jungle that has just as many strange dangers as the outback.

Yeah, exactly. Finds it to be an urban jungle that has just as many strange dangers as the outback. Yeah. So there was a crocodile dundee movies. There was a couple of bands and like the, the land down under song and stuff like that. And there was the, and there was the movie The Cars that He Carries. And that was basically the Australia craze. Crocodile dundee, those bands, cars that he pair, oh, and also the wave and last picnic, and I'm sorry, picnic and hanging rock. And yeah, it was I mean

there was everyone was watching our all right and driving yeah everyone's yeah I used to back yeah it was it was a huge just a crack crack road games yeah yeah

yeah and Paul Hogan was a yeah a comedian who hit upon this character was the character like part of the like Australia PSA he did or was it just like something separate? I think it was, I think he did the Australia PSA's after I don't know exactly. Yeah. So the crocodile Dandy was very loosely based on a guy who was living on the outback in Australia

who I think turned out to be a criminal later on. But. Yeah, and and and Hogan also did like two others of these movies where we're, Stuart and I were talking about it before the show, how the first one's like this light fish out of water, romantic comedy, and the second two are about crime. The first one has a drug subplot in it, too, doesn't it? It's for no.

I think it's very small if it exists. It's not like the two and a half of the other half hour two drug kingpin opus that is part two. Yeah, like it's like take a square into like actual like just like action movies. Well, it's like how in the 80s in the 80s, there was this moment. It was the Australia craze meeting with the drug subplots in movies craze. The same way that like three men and a baby is a movie that's about drugs at a certain point. Like that's why the why the baby is brought to them is because of a drug kingpin. Like the, the people were in the 80s, people were obsessed with drugs,

Australia. And also if you were a TV show, you were going to go to Europe, you were going to be mistaken for spies and you were going to get chased around. It doesn't matter if your family ties, if you're faxed a life, you're going to get mistaken for spying, get chased on Europe in one special episode. Now, the, just so let everybody know, Cragadold Undy was a huge hit. It was an independent movie and it was a huge hit for two reasons. One because his character, oh, so much fun. What a great care to have around him too. That movie poster is fucking awesome. Describe for us. He's like, is it, wait, is part two the one where he's pushing the buildings, the twin towers aside, like their cheeks. I think that's the original.

I think it's supposed to be like like high grass in Paris. Not much, but cheeks that he's spreading apart, I guess, to pleasure in New York. Okay. Yeah. It was, it was, many people call it the original Goatsy, but he was originally called crocodile goat sea. Yeah. That was the original.

I don't know, Elliot, the poster does have that tag line. This summer, Croc gives the city a good rimming. That was the original. That's right. Yeah, that was the original one. It's occurring to me. The poster for this movie is a reference to that, right? Because he's got the two wedges of the inflatable pool croc.

Yes. It's in the same position. It's very much an homage to the original. The guys, this is this is 80s talk. This is not cartel didn't do. I just had to mention I had a break through recently when I realized that they remade the movie if looks could kill as Spider-Man far from home.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, wait a minute, hold on. I can't I was just matching those movies up to up in my my. Those two movies up in my mind. And it was like the end of usual suspects. I dropped my coffee mug and shattered every layer. Now, when you say breakthrough, do you mean like psychological breakthrough? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It really helped a lot with my issues. So guys, I just, well, sorry, I just want to say like Paul Hoken, you know, never able to replicate the success after the crocodile that D-cature.

You know, Hollywood. Not with, like, almost an angel. Blumber, he was in, he was almost an angel, you know, I think he's done some stuff that are like back in Australia, smaller movies that we don't know about, but, but this movie is about, you know, him being a husband and we've given him all the backgrounds. According to, according to Wikipedia, it says he played himself a couple years ago in a movie called That's Not My Dog. Exclamation point.

I don't know. I can't believe I forgot his Oscar nominated turn and I can't believe the plot house hasn't covered that. I mean, that's like a perfect companion piece to a talking cat. Yeah, but I'm sure you'll get into it with the plot summary, but it's funny to me that we gave all this background because the movie also knows that people don't understand this about who cracked undies or Paul Hogan is these days. It doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't animated.

The movie is, we'll get to it, but the movie is both takes place in a world where Paul Hogan has been out of the spotlight for years and also takes place in a world where Paul Hogan has been out of the spotlight for years. And also takes place in a world where Paul Hogan is still one of the biggest stars in the world and everyone recognizes him and wants to know what he's doing. It's a sure. It's very much a dream world where Paul Hogan is still famous. Chevy Chase is a beloved, nice man that everyone loves. And so forth.

Okay, so let's start the beginning. Okay, Paul Hogan, he is 80 years old. Now he's 82, with the time of making this movie, and he was 80. He's tired of being confused for crocodile dundee, which to be honest, if you, if he wasn't wearing a name tie that said, Paul Hogan, you would not recognize him as crocodile dundee, mainly because he is 40 years older than he was when he played the role. But still he looks great and great shape. He's in Hollywood Hills being peer pressured by some tourists to stop a rattlesnake because they think that he's crocodile done D and the snake lunges at him and he hits it with a stick and launches the snake towards

a woman's face. And of course the story is all over the news as any story involving Paul Hogan is bound to be. And this is four different entertainment outlets. I mean, I think it's just a symptom of the 24 hour news cycle. To be honest, I mean, in a news of the weird way, like, if, if, if, if, but it's not being presented as news of the year, it's being presented as scandal in Hollywood. Like, like, you imagine that this is the top story and the second story is that, like, Carlesine killed somebody. Like, that's the level of importanceance they're giving this this story. It's also it's also set in a world where people

still get their entertainment news from like entertainment tonight or like access Hollywood type shows. Yeah, as opposed to through Twitter where you then have to like search for the original name of the person so you can find out what story people are reacting to. Yeah, I was so mad at Jay Gillin all this week. Exactly. Something about a scarf. He's still a scarf. I don't know. So it's the stories all over the place. And this is the movie goes through the cycles of Paul Hogan getting into situations where he gets himself into some kind of trouble. And then it gets all over the news. And he keeps saying in the movies, like, I just, I always, you know, they're like, stay at

a trouble, Paul. And he's like, I just find myself from these situations. And it's like, She does, yeah. If she does, they recap his life story over the opening credits, I guess, about how he was the most famous export from Australia. We see, we see, we see, briefly see Ben Mendelssohn, which made me very happy. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, there's a number of cameos from, from Austin, it's really funny, because throughout the movie, they have cameos from Australian actors who clearly were asked like Hey, would you do a five-second joke about Paul Hogan? They're like, yeah, sure and then footage taken out of context of American celebrities Where it's being repurposed as if they're talking about Paul Hogan So He disappeared from the public eye after a crocodile done T2 suddenly Suddenly, we're back in LA. And a weird thing about this is that the buildings,

whenever we're in a skyline shot of LA, have CGI posters on them for fake movies, which was a strange choice. It was just very weird. But anyway, Paul's manager, who's the daughter of his original manager, isn't happy with the snake incident. And she's like, while they're driving

on a very green screen's drive through LA, she's like, well, they're driving on a very green screen to drive through L.I. She's like, Hey, you got to be on your best behavior. The queen wants to knight you and give you a knight hood. And he's like, Oh, I don't want a knight hood. I don't need that. And she's like, come on, it's the queen of England. You got to take it. And they drive past this kind of very crappy crocodile dandy impersonator out on, what, outside the theater in Hollywood. And he's, and Clark El Dundee gives him the stink eye. He's gonna have to do it that guy later. But he doesn't want the knighthood.

He just wants to retire because I guess when you get a knighthood, you have to work forever. Like, is he worried that he'll have to be called a- He's gonna have to be called a- He's gonna be called a- He's gonna be called a- He's gonna have to be called a- He's gonna have to be called a-

He's gonna have to be called a- He's gonna have to be called a- He's gonna have to be called a- He's gonna have to be called a- He's gonna have to be called a- He's gonna have to be called a- He's gonna have to be called a- He's gonna have to be called a- Well, also that's the you put your finger on like the fundamental Weirdness of this movie that I wanted to get into where like Yeah, simultaneously no one knows where it who he is and yet he is not allowed to retire like like the movie makes it out like You know people are making demands on him all the time like this woman Like this is her main client is Paul. So much so that later

in the movie, she quits when he's unable to, you can't manage him anymore. And it's like, what is going on in this movie that he's being pursued for films will get into it. But I just want to, yeah, set how weird this, the disointed is. They did not make a decision about what this movie was about. Yeah, it's a very disjointed movie. And also, if you want to retire, you usually can just do that. One chance out of a hundred, someone decides to make a podcast about how nobody's seen you for a while, and you have to put out a person who's saying, no, you were not kidnapped by your maid.

But usually you can just retire, and nobody really bothers you that much. That does happen to one percent of all famous people. Yeah. Which is basically, that's thousands of famous people over statistics. It's a very small percentage. And there are a few times when they keep calling Cracket-Old Andy the most successful independent film in history, which I don't know if that's true. I think that it was huge. It was, but like, in a real way.

On a return on investment, I know Halloween maybe is also good for. What I always heard was that Halloween or deep throat, that deep throat was the most successful in terms of budget to pay off, because it caused very little because it was essentially an assault and made a ton of money, but all that money went to the mafia. But maybe they could have just said one of the most successful. I don't know. Anyway, it doesn't matter. It doesn't.

Are they ready to get about getting Pinocchio's from the Washington Post? I guess I shouldn't be so worried about it. He goes to meet some studio executives who have really excited to meet him and everyone on the lot recognizes him. And of course, this is LA, so everyone gets very over the top, complicated health smoothies that are delivered by a guy with a beard and a man bun.

And it was like, is this like a stealth pilot for like an LA portlandia type thing? Like, where is this it? Because it's a very, it's a stale joke, but they take a long time to do it. And there's not that many other like LA jokes in the movie. So it's, I don't know, it feels like a sketch movie times. Anyway.

It felt like maybe somebody watched like a few episodes from season one of curb your enthusiasm and we're like, okay, I think I got it. I think we could do that. I know what Los Angeles is like. Yeah. These executives have an amazing idea. They want Will Smith to play his son in a new crocodile Dundee movie. Paul Hogan keeps trying to tell them it doesn't make sense because Will Smith is American?

No, don't worry, he can do accents. You know he's about to say black each time and they keep cutting him off. And then multiple black people join the meeting. Well, he's trying to say this. And it's one of the things where it's like, you have to just believe everybody in the world grew up watching crocodile dundee because they're just so overjoyed to be in a meeting with Paul Hogan, which appears to be happening in the lobby of a building. They didn't even have it into a conference room

or something. And finally, he tells them that finally, he says, no, he can't play my son, he's black. And that immediately puts a chill over the meeting. He gets in trouble, yeah. It gets in trouble. It's such like a weird like straw man, cancel culture, like attempted humor here where they're like, well, this could happen. This is what happens is that people are too caught up with this bullshit and that he can't even say

what everybody is thinking. And I don't know, it's fucking sucks. It's stupid, it all sucks. And it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I couldn't believe that they like that they went through the scripting and development process on this movie and nobody was like, hey, maybe we should take this out and put something in that makes sense.

Because there's no internal logic to the joke even. There are so many examples where a white person and a black person can be in the same family. And this movie doesn't know that. No. It looks like a't know that. No. But it's like a possibility. Because they can. Well, it also doesn't know that like, yeah,

like that is a common thing that happens, but these execs, if they were going to cash Will Smith would say like explain like, like, know that this is an old man and give him a reason why this is like happening. I mean, the ironic thing is that, if Dan's offending Paul Hogan. No, I'm saying this.

I'm not. They're taking advantage of this. Dan, not so. Oh my God. I'm not so. I'll go to my old man rule, which is old people say offensive things. Yeah. But it's really, you are supposed to be on, the movie wants to be on Paul Hogan's side

and see how ridiculous this concept is, which is stupid. It is not a ridiculous concept. But also in real life, I don't know how many you guys have dealt with executives at major media companies in real life. This is how the meeting this is how the meeting would go. It would go like this. Hey, we've got Paul, we've got crocodile D and we've got Will Smith. We want he wants to play crocodile D. Sun and then the studio executive would say, but he's black. He can't be his son. Well, no, no, no, we'll say, but I don't understand it. You're going to have to have a couple minutes in that movie where you explain how a white guy could have a black son. Okay. I guess we'll do that, which is. And you would write and shoot a scene where that is where it's like, well, you know,

ever since you adopted me from the orphanage in America or something like that. And then you would cut that scene before you released it. That's how it would work. Studio executives are the ones who are like, I don't understand this. You've got to explain it to me. And the studio executives would be like, can you also write Paul Hogan out of this movie

and just have Will Smith? Is that possible? Well, if Will Smith wants to make a crocodile dandy movie, that movie's getting made. I'm sorry, Paul Hogan. Even if you're not gonna be, it's still gonna be, it's gonna be called Son of Dundee and he's gonna be like, yeah, my dad died,

a crocodile ate him anyway. It's my adventure now. Now I have to get revenge. It's weird though, because this movie, it sets you off on this tone of like, oh God, is this movie gonna be like this weird screen against cancel culture?

And the thing is, this is the one time in the movie where Paul Hogan's character, like deliberately, it's not a weird misunderstanding, is what I'm saying. Like he says the thing that they're mad about, and that's what happens,

whereas the rest of it, it's all weird misunderstanding. So it's like, what are you railing against Paul Hogan? The idea of like misunderstanding. This one, they understand exactly what he say. Like there's, yeah, there's, yeah. I mean, and it's different at certain, there's at least one time where it's like, well, Paul Hogan is railing against, railing against signage, that's not clear enough maybe.

Like, I don't know when he was in the wrong place if he had paid attention. But okay, he goes home to his dog and his son. His son is too busy for him. He seems to be running a nightclub out of his bedroom. And this is a long running gag where his son is running multiple businesses and is very talented at everything and does not have time for Paul Hogan. And it never really culminates in anything.

It's just a running gag, you know. It never culminates in anything. And yet it was one of my like more favorite gags in the movie just because it was done so casually and not commented on. Yeah, it was almost, it was never underlined. Paul Thompson never turns to Cameron says like, I should be more involved in me son's life. Now what accent do you, that was kind of like crocodile beetle. It's a little poor. It was brilliant. The outback. It wanted Paul Hogan and the goat Paul McCarty. Oh, I'm a bit of a crocodile done deal. Anyway. So Paul Hogan talks on FaceTime with his granddaughter Lucy.

She believes in him. She always will. And then we know Paul isn't racist against black people because he's pallying around with his best buddy. You know it. Reginald Vell Johnson. I did not recognize it first because he didn't have a mustache. Yeah.

Yeah. I want to. I got sick of getting all the poperatsos. Yeah. Yeah. Cut that thing off. I would like nothing more than to talk about Reginald fell Johnson before we do. Dan, let's. Oh, before we do, I have one question. You're podcast. No one stopped you from talking about our VJ. Did you have the problem that Audrey and I had where like we are so used to like lazy like signifiers and movies that as soon as it cut to like an overhead shot with like

Konga music playing and I saw a Reginald Vell Johnson with a pork pie hat, I'm like, oh, did he go to Miami? No, I feel like the language of like Bill Starrie was an episode of Burned No Disse into this. Like we were confused. It did confuse me why they were suddenly at a street festival and my guess is literally that they called Reginald Vell Johnson's reps and said, would he be in this movie?

And they said, well, he's at a street festival right now. So if you want to catch him, go ahead and your camera. It's getting some pride, Brad. Yeah. Kind of come fast. But, but yeah, it's, and they also run into Olivia Newton-John, who's another old pal of Paul. It makes sense.

They're both Australian, right? And she wants to set Paul up with a friend of hers. But first, she convinces him to come to be at a charity event that she set up for kids at an orphanage or something. And Paul, he goes to get some groceries, but then his car is stolen by a fake valet. He gives his car, his key is to a guy dressed as a valet, turns out that's just a car thief. Uh-oh, don't worry. We've all been there.

That guy will come back. And Paul, he sees the fake crocodile dandy from the lift car, I guess he's in. And he says, Hey, stop here. The crocodile dandy impersonator does not recognize him. And he gave in to an argument. And then the impersonator's kids who are dressed as crocodiles jump out and start their little kids, they start attacking Paul Hogan and people assume that he's fighting children suddenly. He's all over the news again for strangling a child. Yeah. I do want to highlight one moment because like I feel we're looking pelt highlighted when I do think something works briefly.

Go for it. Yeah, give them the credit. I did laugh when like the impersonator has like a big like cardboard knife and he goes, my knife's bigger than that. I'm like looking on a disbelief, as the one thing everyone remembers from cracking out that is but you're. There's a couple, I mean, there are a couple of jokes

and there's a joke later that I laughed at and there's a musical number later that was better than it had any right to be. Yeah, absolutely. So he's all over the news again, his manager's upset. She's like, you gotta get this knight hood, you're gonna jeopardize your knighthood. Because you imagine, yeah, QE2 is just constantly watching entertainment news being like,

I mean, how could she miss it? There is wall-to-wall Paul Hogan coverage. Yeah, that's true. That's fair. And we briefly meet, maybe the movie's least okay character, his Mexican landscaper, who just has a super over the top accent and is just stealing food from Paul Hogan's kitchen, eating a big like Dagwood sandwich. And this is a character you could easily remove wholesale from the movie. And you would never notice, instead they had to keep them in and it's not good. Lucy calls and she's like, I heard you were going to be a knight. Is that true?

I'm so proud. And he's like, okay, you know what? If you want me to be knighted, I guess I'll go through with it. I guess I'll accept one of the highest off honors that the Commonwealth can provide, you know? I mean, I can, I can watch a movie with a reluctant hero. Like I've watched plenty of those, but there's something very interesting about a movie that's trying to convince me

that I need, like, not only that Paul Hogan is somebody that I should be paying attention to, but he's this like reluctant hero, so I'm like, I don't, I didn't care about him before the movie's started. That was awesome. Like Audrey kept having this problem, which is like, are we supposed to sympathize against, with him against like his manager, who's trying to get him to do like this charity function? Like, which is like, are we supposed to sympathize with him against like his manager?

He was trying to get him to do like this charity function? Like I don't understand. Also, the Queen of England is like, I want to give you a knighthood and he's like, eh, I don't know and we're supposed to be like, yeah, stop bothering this woman. I don't want to make sense. I don't want to make sense.

I'm not saying what you're saying. Unless you're taking a principled stand against, you know, the royalty. Yeah. And there are people, leave Paul Hogan alone, the institution of monarchy. And there are people who do that. I think, I think, I think John Cleese is on record as saying that like if he was offered a knighthood, he would turn it down.

And that's going to stuff. Whereas Michael Paley, he ate it up. He just, he just took it. Well deserved. Good job, Michael Paley. Good job, Mikey. And a good job, Mikey P. And now he doesn't want to be a knight.

Uh oh, unfortunately, a knight is coming that his way. That's right, his good friend Wayne Knight, Newman from Seinfeld. Talk about things that can be lifted wholesale of this movie. So Wayne Knight is like, my wife's mad at me because I've been singing too loud at home, practicing for my broadway premiere. And apparently the song he's singing in his rubbish show is, hello my baby, hello my honey,

the Michigan J Frog song. And so he's like, I need a place to stay because my wife's mad at me. Don't tell her I'm here and he just runs upstairs and starts singing, hello my baby, hello my honey, while tapped in saying as loud as possible, which makes it really hard for Paul Hogan to take a nap. And I got to tell you, there are ways to do a joke where someone can't take a nap because it's loud. Go watch the movie. It's a gift. There's a whole sequence for the obviously feels it's trying to take a nap and people keep bothering him. It's hilarious. This is not, they don't

really pull it off here. I don't know. The idea of Wayne Knight tap dancing to hell of my baby. Pretty funny. The one thing I liked about this was there was a shot like overhead on his couch when he first lies down and there's one pillow on the couch and then two more down on the floor and I was like, what's going to happen with those pillows down on the floor? And then Wayne Knight is suddenly tap dancing upstairs and I was like, perfect, he can make a head sandwich with those extra pillows. And did he?

Yeah, it was a plant and pay off. Classic movie magic, you know. Paul Hogan is like a Jacques Tate. It's all the mac is right there on screen and you're watching and put it together. And that's where the fun comes, you know. Um, he's a Paul, he's got. Swiss watch.

Yeah, this is really a real intricate mechanism, so many interlocking gears that have to be calibrated just so. So it's that night. Paul's got to go to the charity event that Olivia Newton John talked him into. He has his driver who turns out to be, because I guess his car is still stolen, his driver turns out to be John Cleese, who explains he's now doing this because he lost all his money to prostitutes, he says. John Cleese drives him to a big event. There's spotlights everywhere. There's a red carpet and uh oh, too late, he notices.

He's taking polygons to the black talent awards and Paul Hogan on the red carpet explains the importance. He's there to help all the less fortunate people who are inside who didn't have it as easy as himself and he offends the reporters because it sounds like he's saying black people are less fortunate himself. It is yet another time that Paul Hogan has decided to step his crocodile skin boot into the racial minefield that is modern America.

And it doesn't work very well. It's just not very good. But that's all that's the thing. It's all context. That's the thing. That's what he's trying to explain is that people have to understand there's context and that when he is sitting at home in his massive L.A. mansion, huge sandwiches, that we should be more considerate that he just wants to take a nap. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nap. No, no, no. There's the question I have for you guys. I mean, he's basically Dagwood Bumste. He's taking a nap. He wants to make big sandwiches. He keeps running into the mailman. He works for Mr. for whatever the guy's name is. Dan, what's Dagwood's boss?

Weatherby? No, that's French but weatherby from the arch-economics, yeah. Yeah, who am I thinking of? I'll be with a Dagwood boss. Mr. Spasely. Mr. Dither's, that's who it is. Dither, dither, dither. Mr. Julius Caesar Dither's,

I didn't know that was his first time in a little name. And he's got a fucking dime for a wife, man. What the fuck? This reminds me recently, we were like, Audrey made a reference to a Dagwood sandwich or like Dagwede being sandwiches. And she said, it's the one thing people remember about blondie, name another thing about blondie.

And I was dismayed at how many things I could name about blondie. I mean, to me, fair though, that is, to asking you a question about an old time economic strip is, you're gonna get, I mean, you know that blondie started as like, she started as a flapper. She was, yeah, she was a flapper like a fighting girl.

And he was rich and she married her and got cut off and then it became the story of him eating sandwiches and not having sex with his gorgeous wife. Getting interrupted also from naps, but an old kid next door who would just walk in. And he didn't ever want to work, right? He want to always a nap and not work. Yeah, I mean, he was always late for work and he'd run out and bump into the mailman. Because he's always like, silent as fucking hair like that crazy shit. And he had a teenage son and a teenage

daughter who looks just like smaller versions of them. Yeah. Just like in real life, that's how genetics works. So that's why when you have this way, as Dan once said, I think in a presentation, how when a pig and a frog have children, you get two girl frogs and two boy, two girl pigs and two boy frogs. That's what Mendel said. Anyway, Paul Hogan finally ends up with the right charity event and everything works out fine, right? Not right.

No. No. John Travolta's not there. So Olivia Newton, or he's always referred to as Johnny for some reason. And at least Johnny T, it seemed like they couldn't say his like there seemed to be like a licensing issue. Now, I'm confusing.

I have a problem with the stage craft of this. Now, I'm going to take the stage manager to task here because so you know Paul Hogan goes out like they're good. You know, I'll be doing John Paul Hogan in the back. You know, Olivia is trying to get Paul to go out and his cue to start singing. You're the one that I want. He's filling in for John to vote. He was going to do it with Johnny T and he's not there. So Paul Hogan's going to fill in. Yeah. And he has he doesn't really want to do it. He's like lingering, he's lingering in the back. He finally, they have a leather jacket that fits in perfectly.

He comes out and he starts singing at Sandy's part. He's missed his own cue. He starts singing at Sandy's part. I don't know why Olivier Newton-John doesn't come out at that moment. More so, I don't know why the stage manager, once the audience starts turning on him for not being John to bolt the, keeps holding liby newton john back from going on stage the one

thing that could possibly a swage this yeah i'll do one better i don't know why it wasn't announced to the crowd were so sorry john to hold to couldn't make it tonight for him is paul hogan so that's not a little slip of paper in their program it just that it happens literally at every single play that there has ever been in him is Paul Hogan. So there's not a little slip of paper in their program. And it just slides into people. I read that. Literally, at every single play that there has ever been in the history of the world.

I mean, that's not, I guess, one Thespis invented acting for the first time. Maybe they didn't have a slip that said, Thespis is going to be like, Thespis is sick. So he's playing played by, by, by dress bists or something. But he, they don't, it's, it's, that's so so instead these people who are there literally to see Johnny T, they have signs of his name, they've dressed like him. They're shouting, yeah, Johnny, Johnny T, give us our Johnny that to be confronted instead with this elderly Australian man and leather jacket mumbling the wrong words to the song, I understand that would be a shock to the system.

That's not what you would say. If I was, so would you ride Elliot? Would you start a ride? I don't system. That's not what you would say. If I was so. But would you ride Elliot? Would you start a ride? I don't know. Let's create it. Let's create it. A thought idea. Okay.

So recently, we were going to go see Judas Priest and Concert. Unfortunately, there shows were rescheduled because of a health problem with one of the band members. But if Stuart and I had gone to that concert and I cannot wait, Rob Hauffer, the metal god himself is about to walk out on stage and I hear the opening of Exciter, one of my favorite of their songs. This is a great way to start the show full of energy just like in the unleash in the East album.

Rob Huffer's about to come out. I could not be more excited and Paul Hogan comes out all-time leather and says, mumply excited. The wrong elderly man. The wrong elderly man. At least, a man roughly 10 years wrong elderly man at least. Right. A man roughly 10 years older than Rob Helper, who is only his early 70s. The I think I might just lose it and start throwing things at the stage.

Much like the holy alley back like the stage manager. Yeah, exactly. And Olivia Newton John, we back there waiting for her to add on the ripper. And they're saying, no, no, no, stay back here. Stay back here. Yeah. So getting really dangerous out there. Yeah. The crowd throws a thermos at him and he tosses it aside. It bounces off a balloon and knocks a none in the face. And he gets

the blame for that, which seems admittedly a little on everyone's side. Everyone's on. I mean, he wasn't throwing it at her and the thermos was thrown at him first. Anyway, you better believe it's all over the news that he. Just looking for a reason to cancel him at this point. Yeah. And no wonder, the news all over him, no wonder there's a pop a rotsau hiding around his house and up in his tree, he throws a rock and knocks him down, turns out he's kind of a down on his luck photographer who came to LA with big dreams and now just hangs

around Paul Hogan's house. There's a later, look, far be it for me to quibble with the internal logic of the very excellent Mr. and the very excellent Mr. and the talented Mr. Ripley Dundee. But later, the talented Mr. Dundee has the scene where Paul Hogan watches Jude Law get out of the shower and Jude Law knows Paul Hogan is watching him and he's not sexually attracted to Paul Hogan, but he does get a thrill from Mel Hogan. He likes the attention. Sexually attracted to him. Yeah. Yeah.

No, what a good movie. Yeah. Yeah. No, there's a scene later on, I'm sure we'll mention it, but I just went like where the gag is every photo becomes less valuable once Paul Hogan is in it. Like Paul Hogan's like, oh, I can get you a picture of Kim Kardashian What about picture Kim Kardashian and me and like the price goes down And the photographer is saying this like why is the photographer then hanging around Paul Hogan's house if he knows that this man is worthless

to him I'm like I know this is a I'm like, I know this is a logical hurdle that it's too high for this particular movie. I mean, why didn't Darth Vader blow up Leia's ship instead of trying to walk his way through it? It's called drama, Dan. It's called drama, but it's also, it's very clear he's not good at being a paparazzi. Like he's bad. But you're right, it doesn't make sense.

He watches on the news. But he is good at being a fine art photographer, but he just doesn't know it yet. Oh, yeah. We'll see that. We'll see that. He's going to miss his. He's one of these guys who's becomes an accidental art star. Uh, he's also one of these guys that I thought I could safely ignore at the when he like shows up in the movie because I'm like, oh, this movie is so filled with like pointless diversions and cameos and one not surely will not be important to the rest of the movie and it becomes very important. Yeah, and he looks like a friend of mine. So I kept thinking that he was the friend that I was like, he's in the movie.

This is great for him. Oh, I kept thinking he was Nick Schwartzson. I thought so too. It does. He does look like him too. Does look like him too. Does look like him too. Paul Hogan watches other Australian actors slag him on TV. There is a funny joke about the movie Lightning Jack, I thought.

He goes, he goes, he goes, someone's like, much like Lightning Jack, no one is laughing, which other funny. It's not a good movie. And there's like a, there's a brief, they're interviewing people and they briefly interview the, like, villain from the later saw movies and I'm like, there's a brief, they're interviewing people and they briefly interview the, like, villain from the later saw movies. And I'm like, he's Australian. What's going on there? I was pretty, that was cool for me.

And yet Jeffrey Rush, nowhere to be found. Amazing. Yeah. Cassanova Frankenstein himself. himself, very Australian, not there. So Paul, he misses Australia. He's looking at real estate in Australia, beachfront real estate, and he keeps getting bought out from under him, which at this point,

it's like you seem to be rich, Paul. You should just take the plunge, just make it off from one of these houses. Stop waiting. His son is leading an aerobics class outside. He's too busy to have breakfast with Paul. And Paul's manager calls him in for a talking too. She's been trying to stop the non-story. And Paul keeps saying, put me on one of these tonight's shows. I need to be on one of these tonight's shows. And she's saying, no, no. He somehow wants to retire, but also really wants to be on the night show. He's like, oh, I'll go play a baby, a baby's all a phone for some kind of song. I'm going to do that. You know, I could slow jam something, but my Paul Hogan sounds like a very bad restartie I realize from a different country, not Australian.

And she says, you know what, I won't call the queen until her not to knight you. If you go for an intervention lunch with Chevy Chase, which makes no sense. If you want someone to learn how to stop being an asshole in public, you do not send them to Chevy Chase. I mean, I mean, that is the joke of it, right? But it was a very weird one. Like, it requires the audience to be aware. And, you know, like, we all are obviously

because we're like the kind of nerds who know this stuff. But like, not everyone knows that Chevy Chase is like a famous asshole. So they aren't gonna get the meta joke of like, this is the person to emulate. And it's so it just seems strange. It seems like as a movie that has given us all the backstory on Paul Hogan for this exact reason, like it seems like it could have given us an expo dump on Chevy Chase if it really

wanted to sell that as a joke. And since it didn't, I feel like it almost is not aware of that as a joke. I mean, because then Chevy Chase, they go to lunch and people are constantly going up to Chevy Chase and telling them how wonderfully it is and telling, telling them, you're so amazing. I love you so much. I love your movies and they're not naming. They're like, I love you in three amigos.

They're like, oh, he was so great in catty shack. Like, they are talking his real credits. So this is not some alternate universe, Chevy Chase, who made other things and that who people like. And he keeps, he's like, and Chevy Chase is like, people love me because I want an Oscar for a chattyshack. And this is not true. And the movie knows it's not true. But it's never clear whether the movie is saying it as a joke or whether people think that in this world or it's that it's one of these things that's almost a joke, but not quite to the point where I was like, is this operating on a higher level than I understand in terms of comedy that I don't get the joke here. Yeah, yeah, I think it's just these long about having an Oscar.

Everyone seems to know how to think yourself. I'm not. It's just anyway the studio executives come by they want to pitch a crocodile to the revenge movie where his wife gets killed and he starts dating Rachel McAdams and that scene just kind of peeters out it doesn't really go anywhere. I mean, most of the scenes in this movie end without a joke or a conclusion. Yeah, that's true. Oh, wait, this was the scene where it ends when he walks out without paying for a $40 glass of wine and a security guy tackles. Yes, well, because Chevy Chase says he's going to pay, I think, and then he doesn't.

Yeah. Yeah. And Chevy Chase doesn't think what he's like, you can get okay with anything when you're as beloved as I am. Watch this. And he knocks his fork on the ground and a waiter picks up and goes, Oh, I'm so sorry. And Chevy Chase is like, Oh, yeah, it's it fell all right off the table. Can you give me another fork? And he's like, see? And I'm like, so that's what you're getting away with. It's like that every now and then you knock a piece of silver wire onto the floor. It was a plate. He broke a plate.

Yeah, but you can still get away with that. I know, I know. I just like, it is a measure of difference that you've like actually shattered something. Oh, did he, did he break a plate? Yeah, because if a fork shatters, you got to put it in the front. I mean, unless a fork makes a shadow, you're like Mr. Free. Oh, I miss the, I miss the shattering noise. I apologize. I mean, maybe if there had been a shot, but I guess in the budget, they didn't have room for a plate to be broken.

Yeah. I think critically, the breaking of a plate is sort of morally comparable to hitting a nun in the head with a water bottle or making racially insensitive remarks on red carpet. Probably. Yeah. It depends on the plate. I mean, maybe we're the only restaurant in LA that only serves antique, Ming Dynasty ceramics. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera.

The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera.

The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. yeah, Dan, I know you have issues with this, but I want you to make no Jackie Chan was not in this movie. I know sometimes you can't tell There were many celebrities in this movie, but he was not but Mr. Jackson Chan was not one of them

Okay, so it after he gets tackled by the security guard He wakes up in the hospital with multiple shattered bones, right? Nope, he's just he's just back at home talking to his daughter his granddaughter on the phone. Make it look what's that a turkey Marmite sandwich? What's he or a veggie might Marmite sandwich? Yeah, he has and he's a he's he's she's like, oh, I have this new school and the girls there aren't so nice to me. What do you do?

And he's like, blah, blah, blah. He's giving her advice and she's still excited about his knighthood. He's got to get this knighthood. His granddaughter is depending on it. Now he could always just tell his granddaughter he got knighted. There's no, I mean, there's what is she going to Google him? And there's going to be a newspaper head on this as all-hooking, no knighthood. Lying. Yeah, yeah.

Just children. Yeah, she won't find out for real until she's much older and it sends her on some kind of shame spiderwebs. Yeah, Dan, Dan, I've spent years now on an eleventh con that makes my son think that there is a pixie of some kind of shame spy. Yeah, Dan, Dan, I've spent years now on an 11th con that makes my son think that there is a pixie of some kind that eats his teeth and leaves money behind. So I've gained nothing from this lie that there's some feature that sneaks into our house, devours his teeth, hoops a dollar bill under his pillow all without waking him. And then it leaves for the next time.

You know what? Directly after I said it, I was like, all people do is light a kid. So much of your mind, your children, yeah. I mean, at some point Dan may have a child. And of course, when that child is of age, they're going to watch romantic the stone. And then he will lie to that child

and say there was never a sequel for some reason. They may know. No problem. They did re-team in War of the Roses, which you can see when you're older, but, uh, yep, nothing for this one. But what's this jewel of the... No,'s not from that movie, that does not exist. So then this is the scene where he talks to that photographer, he learns how little his pictures are worth.

And the photographer convinces Paul Hogan to help him find celebrities who's going to drive them around. It's John Cleese, and for no reason at all he gets them into a chase with the police. And if John Cleese is just a maniac who constantly gets into chase scenes and then runs away at the end of the day. I love Paul Hogan's commitment to just being unflappable throughout the entire chase. He's just like, oh God, another shenanigan I'm in. And the photographer in the back of the car is trying to make up for it.

He's like, whoa. Yeah. I felt so bad for this actually. I'm in a movie and I'm going to be in a scene with John Glees and Paul Hogan. And I'm like, they're the straight men. What? Yeah. I don't know. It was it was uncredited. But the second unit director for this scene was William Friedkin if you could. Wow. Really. No wonder. Really. I mean, there were a number of shots that were clearly cars driving at normal speed that had been sped up, but there were other ones, but there was also a shot of a car

driving against the flow of traffic. And I was like, did they do this for this movie or is this like stock footage you can buy that they got? Because I wasn't sure, but yeah, now that I know that William Friedkin worked on it, that makes a lot of sense. And at all the hallmarks of his big car chase movies like The Boys and the Band, and they got because I wasn't sure, but yeah, now that I know that William Friedkin worked on it, that makes a lot of sense. And at all the hallmarks of his big car chase movies like The Boys and the Band and Bug. So they, they, they photographer, they're like, there's Kim Kardashian, there's another

famous person. And the photographer keeps taking pictures, but they're all coming up blurry because they're driving around. The other funny thing is that they're pointing to like movie premieres, where they're full of photographers already. Yeah, that's what I was like, why did he just go there? The first thing I don't understand.

The point of being a paparazzi photographer is to get the picture nobody else has of this celebrity where they're in their sweatpants, their glendancy carrying a box of kitty litter in a parking lot, they're eating ice cream and they look really gross, like they look fatter than normal. That's why you're a paparazzi. To get a picture of them on the red carpet when there's like a dozen of the photographers, why bother? I mean, they want you struggling to carry a

mountain of Dunkin' Donuts coffee. There's a reason that Peter Parker is selling his fuck out of a former lover. There's a reason Peter Parker is selling his Spider-Man pictures and not his photographs of like trees. Nobody wants those. Anyone can take them. Okay. So they end up getting arrested and then we cut to what turns out to be a dream sequence, but it is a very elaborately produced musical number from some sort of crocodile-dundee musical of a, that's not a knife song. And this is by far the highlight of the movie. I'll go out of the mother's.

This is actually a pretty fun song. The performers are really good in it. There's some funny rhymes in it. This song should be in a much better movie about Paul Hogan producing plays. Who decisions? Yeah, the decision to have the crocodile-dundee character in the musical to be very much not Australian

was great. Yes, yes. Such a strange choice. He's like a guy with curly hair and like eyeliner and like a sparkly hat. Because it's Broadway. I mean, to be honest, he looks like he kept reminding me of Jealousy. I was like, did they get him for this? That would be a really weird choice for him, but he's in bathtubs over Broadway.

So I don't know. But yeah, this is, I mean, a guy's telling me if I'm wrong, but once this started, I was like, okay, you know what? There is a part of this movie I can enjoy, you know? There, there are parts of this movie that gave me a mild smile, but I think, again, in a YouTube two-minute video, maybe. What I liked about this musical is that it knows how to fucking tease the audience.

Because they give you the first part of the line. That's not knife. And then they just tease out the final line. And they don't actually even say this is a knife. They have a knife descend from the ceiling with the word written on it. It's crazy. Yeah, they're waiting for it. It's like they're edging you the whole time for this catchphrase.

I don't know if you guys experienced this, but like watching this movie, I remembered the line as that's not a knife. This is a knife, but they show the clip in the, in the real at the beginning, recapping the important beats of Hogan's life. And it's that's not a knife. That's a knife. And so the line in the song is that's a knife, but the, the sign on the knife that comes down says, this is a knife. That's a knife. And so the line in the song is that's a knife, but the sign on the knife that comes down says, this is a knife and I was like,

I'm bringing K-A-L-E-F-I-T-E-S. We've got to cover all our bases. Yeah, it's like how you remember it and how it actually was accommodated in one song. Oh, wow. That's the brilliance of that song. That's amazing. Yeah, it's a real play against Sam type thing where it's like,

no, did you know he never said that in crocodile dundee, except I've never heard anyone deliver that trivia because no one cared, I guess. I will say there's one other joke. I don't remember where it comes, but somewhere in the movie, there's another joke where an Australian actress who I did not recognize who she was is talking, but she's like, oh, I used to love watching this movie and I get so scared when he would be playing. He would be fighting with those crocodile and sharks. And you know, you got to feel for his children. And they're like, oh, no, you're thinking of the crocodile hunter.

We're talking about Paul Hogan and she goes, oh, he's a dickhead. And just the way she said he's a dickhead was so, I thought was really funny. It was just like, so matter of fact, like, well, that goes without saying. That's, oh, I was the we all know that yeah. Anyway, so Paul wakes up in prison. He dreams the whole musical number is manager bails them out. I guess he will face charges at the later date, although knowing LA maybe never celebrities, you know how it is.

So Wayne back to his house and back to the Wayne night C story in the sitcom of the movie. Wayne nights, Wayne night is like, my wife is coming over. and back to the Waynight Sea story in the sitcom of the movie. Waynight's, Waynight is like, my wife is coming over, don't tell her I'm here. And she comes to the door and Paul Hogan is lying, oh, I haven't seen him, I don't know, he's not here. And she's like, are you sure? He's not, I wanted to thank you for having him here.

I know he can be a handful. And then Waynight just shows her, I'm just, hey, honey, and they kiss, they're not mad at each other at all. And she's like, how dare you lie to me, Paul? And it's, the seat, it makes no sense. It's like, it is like the level of trolling that our editor, Alex, did to me the first time

I met his parents, is we were having dinner together. And he goes, hey, mom and dad, Stuart would like to say grace. And I was like, what the fuck, you know that? Yeah, why can only, one can only assume that this whole roof has been some sort of elaborate sex game they have. Oh, maybe. Who are they?

Shane Paul. Yeah, they have a Paul Hogan embarrassment fetish. Yeah. Yeah. They steal the chocolate chip cookies and go back and do unspeakable things with that. Yeah. Paul, he loses his knighthood for obvious reasons. I mean, getting in a car chase with John Cleesist is not okay.

His manager quits, she says, I think maybe I'll go back and do what I want, something for children. What that is is left up to the future. We'll find it later. Two weeks later, he's packing his house up. He's decided to leave Los Angeles. That's right. The crocodile Dundee run is over.

He's gonna slink back to Australia with his tail between his legs. The thing that it seemed like he wanted to do from the beginning of the movie and nothing was really stopping him. He's finally doing it. His goal, his stated act one goal is now the act two rock bottom moment and it doesn't make any sense. It's like at the also has a very long beard in this scene, but that's just again.

Well, that's a guy he takes his long beard off and puts it in a box, but the it's like if in the movie Rudy, he was like, I want to play football. And then at the end of act two, he's on the field and he's like, Oh, I've never hated myself more. I've become what I set out to become. I've become what I set out to become. I've become what I most love. So if the Vita Star Wars looks like I want to get off this planet and then by act two he's like tattooing. I wish I was back with my aunt, Uncle.

All right, all right, they were burned to a crisp, right, right, right, right. So I kind of forgot that by the end of the movie, I'm not so sad anymore. Is it, and I will say, it's another, it's a measure of how masterful that movie Star Wars is, that it never occurs to us, that it takes place over like a day or two, and he is totally not grieving for Santa Uncle anymore, and he's become a Jedi Knight after a day of training. It's amazing. What a movie, and it just doesn't occur to us.

Okay, Olivia and John decides to cheer him up by setting him up with his friend of hers. They meet and they're really into each other right away. It's a sweet little first date scene that gets interrupted because the valet bandit, that's right. The guy who stole his car is in the middle of stealing another car. Paul Hogan gets handed a can from a grocery shopper. And if there's one thing we know about Crockett Alta D, she throws cans.

Yeah, maybe that's the thing from the movie. I don't remember. I guess in the Inters. American doesn't like guarantee. He shouldn't have to clip at the beginning. Did they, the Crockett Al in the S game? Maybe he's throwing cans at bad guys. I don't know.

Yeah, that's enough great. You got to upgrade your weapons. That he throws a can. It flies through the air for roughly 45 minutes. And they keep cutting between Crocodile and Paul Hogan, the guy running away and a kind of homeless bag lady who's running. And I kept expecting the can to hit her by accident and it for to be another mishap. But instead it hits the, what was she there for?

No, no, that's what that's hearing. That is the mislead. That is why it was there. Because they're setting you up to worry that it's going to happen again. But it's not funny enough or dramatic enough. Just having throw the can, having it hit the valet thing for the hell.

No, it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't need to be there. Anyway, it hits the valet. Maybe she's a ghost that appeared on screen. They didn't know she was in the movie. So the crazy thing is that hit the valet man in the back of the head, his head shatters. and blood go everywhere. People start freaking out. Yeah. The ball looks to the hands now covered in blood. Yeah, the blood spatters hundreds of feet

back to where ball holding is standing because there is this that much blood in the guy's head. He didn't realize that the valley bandit his head is just a balloon full of tomato juice. And he carried the rage virus. So all those people are infected. No, no, no. Wow. So this is the right, because it's called the very excellent muster dundee, 28 days previous.

If only he had done that somewhere that didn't have 10,000 onlookers standing around to burst into applause when he hit the gun. Everyone applauds. And Paul Hogan is back on top. It's all over the gun. Everyone applauds and Hallhogan is back on top. It's all over the news. It's all over the news. Everything. Because if there's anything we love, it's rebuilding our fallen idols after they do something

minor. The all is forgiven stories that are playing on all of the entertainment. Well, that's why all these canceled celebrities are now doing meeting out vigilante justice on the streets. Yeah, yes, as the Cheppellan groups, they're going out. Yeah, just stop. Do we talk about the fact that there's like a weird amount of footage of on a news show where they clearly repurpose footage of fucking Mel Gibson looking like a crazy person.

And I'm like, stop making me look at this. And there's a weird fucking joke about them running over fucking Harvey Weinstein. And I'm like, I don't know, I don't know what they mean by this. Like, I don't know. Yeah. It's, it's a, it was one of those things where like, if they had, I didn't know if the joke was, oh, we ran, who was we ran over Harvey Weinstein? Oh, good.

Let's back up and run over him again. Or if the joke was, oh, no, we hit Harvey Weinstein, like, that's a bad thing. It's so, it's hard to parse the politics of this. Again, movie made by an old man, it's hard to know what's going on. It's like Grand Torino, you're like, I guess he's trying to do something that's not racist, but it comes off pretty racist. I don't know. He gets positive news, Chevy Chase finally gets bad press. I don't know for knocking gets positive news, Chevy Chase finally gets bad press.

I don't know for knocking things off of tables and restaurants. Yeah, because apparently he's a fucking cat. Yeah, because apparently it is the slowest day in entertainment news that Chevy Chase knocks plate off table. Is the second story on the broadcast, you know, I don't know. Oh, who can his back on top being the first lead story. Well, it's too bad every other famous person died three days ago, because only two we have anything to report about that mysterious

celebrity rapture happened. Celebrity rapture sounds like for cameras next movie. Yeah. I don't want to see that so badly. Okay. The skies were dark because all the stars were taken to heaven. We're literally in heaven. We're literally in heaven. So the skies were bright again because all the stars were back in heaven. This definitely feels like an L.A. where like at least like all celebrities under the age

of 45 have been raptured. Like we are only seeing like that's why Paul Hogan is the lead story. Yeah, because no one else is around. We only see younger people when they are on TV talking about Paul Hogan. That's the, like we see a Hemsworth. Tell you about Paul Hogan, like that's it. Which one to quote, quote, Audrey when he came came on, I was like, aw, Luke, the least of the Hemsworth.

Yeah. He's, he's Hemsworth less than the other's Hemsworth. Yeah, it's, it's his half-hem. Uh, so, now we have a client, we have this kind of montage that usually means the movie is over, but somehow it keeps going a little bit. Paul's manager goes to London to accept the knighthood for him, which I didn't know you could do. I kind of thought you had to be there to get knighthood.

I do like the line where they're like, I know the knighthood for the star because it's the Queen's favorite, the star of the Queen's favorite movie, Crocodile Dundee 3. And the fact that they went with this sequel, I loved it. What if for actual favorite movie was King Ralph guys? Wouldn't that be fucking weird? That would be weird. I would be weird. Yeah.

I mean, she does have a fantasy of finally, you know, hanging up the crown, handing it over to John Goodman. Yeah. Going to give it to Pierrotool. Good shape. Yeah. Yeah. The idea, there's so much in that movie that they don't really, I guess they don't really

know how monarchy works that like the King can't just name another person, like you're the King now, forget it, I'm outta here. But also, the, or maybe Ken, I don't know, it's, I haven't been done. But that, I imagine Queen Elizabeth, to second sometimes, is just like, if only I could sit down to take a group photo

and end my time on this earth and just leave this torment and never have to worry about Helen Mirren playing me again in anything. And being so much better at me than I am at me. Yeah, yeah, when she's playing that level and hit me in three, she's like, I wish this was me. Now also, crocodile Dundee three is called crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles on the poster. So I don't know if it was officially crocodile Dundee three, was it? Uh, good. You put it on the bloop's page for the thing. The thing is, the thing is, the thing is put it on the bloop spades for the thing.

Crockett L. Dundee three, the poster is still fucking cool. It's, I mean, it's got Paul Hogan on it. So you know, it's cool. Yeah. So we see the opening of a gallery show for the photographer. He has a, he has an example, maple, maple Thorpe type thing, right? Nope. Not at all. It's maple Thorpe type thing, right? Nope, not at all. It's maple Thorpe's photos are very,

very posed and also very crisp in their, in their visuals, their images, whereas his are a blurry and it's called Life is a Blur. And it's his blurry pictures of LA. And we see it's implied that I guess Kim Kardashian bought the photograph of her and his eyes widen as if, as if he's a boo looking at that one big ruby and the in the cave of wonders in 11. Yeah.

They had so much coverage of this actor just taking in like big self-satisfied breaths and like looking around and wonder meant at his own genius. And his mom comes up to him goes, and I never, the nice work. I never thought you'd amount to anything. And he's like, thanks mom. And it's like Okay, and they're not really a joke there like Reginald El Johnson is now starring in the crocodile-dundee musical on Broadway the studio executives are so impressed by Paul Hogan's amazing idea to make a musical of his old movie

Because it's never been done before certainly never been done on Broadway before how never been done on Broadway before. How did he come up with it? How did he come up with that? And- Well, it took a head injury and a knight in jail dreaming it up. And the fact that it's also a go-go's jukebox musical, just is the icing on the cake, you know, that it just gets to be both of those things. But, yeah?

The funny thing here, though, like you see Paul Hogan getting ready, you know, like there's these two big things happening. He's being knighted, premiere night of his musical, like he's getting ready, like the movie's trying to lead you down the garden path and he's getting ready for one of these things. And then like you see him with his, like, oh, he's at his granddaughters recital and there's also like news, like voiceover being like Paul Hogan misses his spot on the tonight show and I'm like, fuck, you like triple booked yourself just to not have done

anything. That's the weird apartment fantasy. He's not at the opening night of the musical. He's not at the tonight show that he books knowing it was the same, knowing not only is the same night as his granddaughter's musical, but he's gonna have to go to Australia for that musical. So he's not even gonna be on the same continent that the show is taping. So he, Paul attends his granddaughter's school play, he snubs the queen, snubs the tonight

show, snubs the Broadway opening musical, all that cares about his family, and Paul's son opens a nightclub and a girl shows up and they smile at each other and I was like, are we supposed to know who this is? Is this a character that was referenced earlier? Guys, is it a famous person? What was it? Tell me. Just play. Well, I was hoping that you'd looked it up. I thought maybe she was a famous actor

that I was not familiar with. But in the absence of any context, it was just like, well, I guess this, like, you know, handsome young guy who's good at everything, you know, there's this a pretty girl that's gonna like him. Like, he's already, he's like this, he's presented as, yeah, very handsome, super talented guy. So for him to get the girl at the end is not a triumph. Like, it's not, it's not like, you know, when, when you, that moment in the sand lot, where the nerdy kid kisses

the lifeguard, and then they're like, they're married now, they have six kids, and you're like, yeah, the nerdy guy did it. Like, it's not that moment, you know? Yeah. Again, that's a moment that comes after a brief assault. So it's not that great a moment, but, you know, since he kisses him under the false pretenses that he's dying, and she has to give a mouth to mouth. But again, you know what I'm saying?

There's no, for his son to have a pretty girl smile on him. That probably happens 75 times a day. He's like Paul Hogan's son. Everybody wants to get with him, so he can get with Paul Hogan. Anyway, John Cleese is in another car chase. Will that guy never learn? And the movie should be over,

but it's not. Paul has moved to Australia with his dog. His man, he gets a magazine in the mail that shows that his manager has achieved her dream of making something for kids. Is it a crocodile-dundee cartoon? Yes, that's exactly what it is. It's like animation monthly or some show,

what's the name of the magazine? We entered a world where the only entertainment available to the masses is crocodile-dundee. And it's related, it's Larry Franchises. Yeah, here like going to pitch like a new take on like Sherlock Holmes or whatever. Now, how does Dun D. Fit into the day? It's called Sherlock Dun D.

Okay, so it's... Disney plus subscriptions have gone way down. Dun D plus subscriptions way up. Yeah. It's like the answer to Mark Scorsese being like, oh, Marvel's really taken over entertainment. Like it could be worse, Marty. What if it was just crocodile dundee?

I'll leave it. What if the CDCU had taken over everything? And Olivia's friend whose name I don't remember goes to Paul's new house. They're not lovers necessarily, but they do seem like they're close friends. So that's okay at that age, you know, what's the, there's no real difference. It's just about companionship. And Paul is relaxing on the beach while his granddaughter plays with his friends. It looks like Paul Hogan is finally going to get what he's always wanted.

The home movie, a nice nap when, uh-oh, who is implied to be on the chair next to him because his face is covered by a newspaper and his voice is clearly dubbed in. Because he didn't want to fly to Australia. Who is it, Dan? Who is it? Wayne Knight is back. That's right, Wayne Knight is back,

or at least his voice is, as again, they stand in with a newspaper over his face. With his face. A newspaper with Wayne Knight's picture on it. It's a really drive the bit home. Now Stewart, now Stewart, hold on. I just want to, well, yeah, he's very frustrated in the movie. And so, but I want to ask Stewart a very important question.

This is a good question. Yeah, I want to know these questions too. Did you stop the movie right? The credits again. Or did you see the thing that happened? Or did you go to the mid credits? I will say Stewart's face is in his hands. I feel like such a fucking idiot.

So guys, about five minutes before this point, the movie, I was making coffee and then I left the apartment. Yeah. So come here. She got me here. Let's be here. Did you not finish the movie? I mean, when does it finish? I mean, I think it lives on forever. It is. You're right. It's in all of our hearts. Sure.

I think the last, the last moment my brain captured from this film was him looking at animation quarterly or whatever in his mailbox. And then his friend walking up. But I'm assuming it's over at this point. You almost did it. I should have assumed because there's so much gold on screen that there must have been a little bit of stuff that wasn't. Why does this stuff, not at all, feel like it was struggling to find a way to end it out?

I'm just amazing. I'm amazed that Stuart almost made it all the way to the end of this 88 minute marathon. That is the very excellent Mr. Tundee. Yeah. Well, there's a mid credit sequence where he is shaving with a knife and he goes and he's dressed as the crocodile dandy again and he goes, that's not a knife. That's a bloody stupid way to shave and then he winks at the camera and that's it. So it's not, don't worry, it's not setting up the sequel still.

Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. I would have felt like an idiot. Luckily, I rented it. Obviously, the part that sets up the sequel is when Sam Jackson at the end of the credit says he's going to rope him into the Dundee initiative. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Oh, man. Well, that's a nice thing about having rented it is I can go and watch those bloops Then I'll text all you guys with my thoughts Yeah, all of a gee. I can't believe they did that. Those text says yeah With a emoji of us of a shocked cat face. Yeah, and then probably a Selfie of me and the screen and holding up today's newspaper.

So you know them. I'm not sure it's today. Good. Then for some reason has your picture on it, but it's also covering your face. Yeah. Yeah. It's a picture of me and Wayne Knight. It's headlining reads together hands while holding up newspapers that day when that photo

was taken. Holding up newspapers of that day when that's for the sake of you. Look, it's a rough world out there, especially lately, I get it. So let's take care of our minds as best we can. I'm John Moe, host of Depresh Mode with John Moe. Every week I talk with comedians, actors, writers, musicians, doctors, therapists, and everyday folks about the obstacles that are world and our brains throw in front of us. Depression, anxiety, traumatic stress, all those mental health challenges that are way more common and more treatable than you might think.

The first time I went to therapy I was so ashamed and I was like, can't believe I got to go into therapy. I thought I could be a man and one week Bocault was never in therapy and my was like, can't believe I got to go into therapy. I thought I could be a man and hungry bokeh art was never in therapy. And then my dad said, yeah, but he smoked a carton of cigarettes a day. Give your mind a break, give yourself a break, and join me for Dupresh Mode with John Moe. You're in the theater. The lights go down. You're about to get swept up by the characters and all their little details and interpersonal

dramas. You look at them and think that person is so obviously in love with their best friend. Wait, am I in love with my best friend? That character's mom is so overbearing. Why doesn't she stand up to her? Oh, good God. Do I need to stand up to my own mother? We never know when we'll see ourselves in a movie.

But that search for recognition is exactly what we're going to talk about on the podcast, Feeling Seen, with me, Jordan Krushiola. Each episode will bring in a guest to talk about the films that they see themselves in, and also the ways that movies have fallen short. So join me every Thursday for the Feeling Seen podcast here on Maximum Fun, or wherever you find your podcasts. The flop house is sponsored in part by Lumi Labs. So you've probably heard of microdosing.

If you haven't, there's info all over the internet. Well, microdose gummies have microdoses of THC, and they just release six flavors of higher THC gummies based on Sativa, Indika and hybrid strange, strains, not strange. No. No. Not Dr. Strange. Not the strange case of... Oh, he's probably...

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I'm gonna introduce you guys and everyone else listening to a concept called Preventative Maintenance. I don't know if you're familiar with it. It means taking care of something so that you don't have larger problems with later. We get our cars tuned up, we get annual checkups, we go to the gym to maintain physical wellness, to prevent ourselves from getting bodily illnesses

and diseases and things like that. That's all preventative maintenance. Well, going to therapy is just like that. It's a kind of routine maintenance for your mental and your emotional wellness to prevent bigger issues that might happen down the road. It doesn't mean anything's wrong with you. I cannot stress that enough. Therapy does not mean something is wrong with you.

It doesn't mean you have a problem, but it means you're investing in yourself to keep your mind healthy. Better help is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So, you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to, and maybe you don't have the time, the energy, or the interest in going some other place to some other location. With Better Help, you can do it at home. It can be more affordable than in-person therapy.

You can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours. Look, you invest do it at home. It can be more affordable than in person therapy. You can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours. Look, you invest in so many other things. You invest in your home. You're probably investing in NFTs right now and Bitcoin, everybody is. Why not invest in your mind, the NFT that you carry with you in your head,

all throughout your life. This podcast sponsored by BetterHelp and Flophouse listeners get 10% of their first month at BetterHelp.com slash flop. That's BETT-ER-HELP.com slash flop. Speaking for myself, I'm a therapy user and a therapy appreciator. If you haven't tried it, I think you'll find it's helpful. So that's better help.com slash flop Okay, that's The movie that's the quite I guess we're doing in Fountain is the question. I have a special movie like what is this thing?

Final jet is this a good bad movie a bad bad movie movie? You can't like it's it this movie straddles the line between feature film and video you show at an anniversary party You really movie. Movie.'t think you do. I don't think you're smart enough. But there is a certain charm to see like I think that Paul Hogan is still like kind of a charming presence. And there's a bit of enjoyment to be gotten out of like what I call the the the old geezer movie where you get like someone who used to be famous and like like their career, they do something that is like just really like playing off like the Zaz. I've been like, okay,

well, here's a star who's old now doing a thing like like grumpy old men or the more like upscale version would be like nobody's fool with Paul Newman. I mean, Rumpiole Men is a pretty upscale version compared to the very ex-Lemunit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. There is a type of movie where the charm is just like, oh, this old guy still kicking. Yeah, yeah, that's true. And I kind of enjoyed it on that level because, you know, those were not like crocodile done D the first one is fine. It's a fun piece of whatever it was. Like there's stuff in it that didn't age well, but like, it's charming enough.

I was funny, like, I, you know, our pals over at, like, checked in the Patreon, all of the Crocodile Dundee series, and they're like, we're recording commentaries for all three of them all in one day, and I like, runs my hands with Lee, knowing, like, oh, boys, you're like, the diminishing returns you're in for, but I don't know, I'm just saying, like, there was parts of it that was, like, oh, boys, you're like the diminishing returns you're in for. But I don't know.

I'm just saying, like, there was parts of it that was like sort of like weirdly charming in the same way that watching someone's anniversary video can be charming. But it's not a good movie by me. I mean, it works really well. It works very well as a proof of life video just to be like, call the guy who's still around. He's still fine. He can walk. He can talk. He can drive. He sees it night like he's definitely not a fine. He doesn't need a help. Yeah. Yeah. So mild fondness, but it's definitely not a movie. What do you get to have to say? Yeah. Oh, I, it's a tough one, but yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, I guess it's a kind of a good, bad

movie. Yeah, I mean, it's, there's not really any jokes. Yeah, you know, it's kind of, you know, this is, this is a little bit tough. I had last night when my wife was, was trying to fall asleep. She's been having neck problems. And my cat climbed off of my chest, my 20 pound cat muscles. He climbed off of my chest and climbed basically onto her head. And she just started like yelling because it was hurting her neck. So I tried to reach over and push the cat. And instead

my hand reached under the cat. And I must have hit hit the wrong button because I managed to express his anal glands. And he squirted fucking shit on my hands and on her pillow. And just what I'm trying to say is that that was funnier than what happened. That does sound funnier than this movie still. Yeah, very fair. Yeah, it's a mild good bad. I mean, I'd say that the first third is where the most squirmy uncomfortable stuff happens.

And also, is where your mind is racing, like trying to figure out what is even about to happen to you. And then once you kind of relax into it, it's fine. It's just, it kind of, it just misses so many of the ad-bats. And it has some, like, like, for as thin an idea as it is, it does have like a number of setups and they just like never go anywhere. And it's like almost amazing to watch something set so many things up that fail to be realized at all. We use the metaphor of at bats.

It's like if the picture is throwing balls right over the plate and the batter is still in the cab from the hotel to the stadium. Like, he's never gonna hit him. He doesn't even know the balls go, he doesn't know the game has started. I'm gonna give it a, I'm gonna give it a, I'm gonna say it's a semi-likable bad bad.

I feel like it's a sideburn that musical, except for that, that's not a knife musical number. It's not that like, musical, except for that, that this is, that's not a knife musical number. It's not that like, oh, this movie's so painful, but it's like, there's no reason to watch it. There's just no way. If you're on a stage shuttle and it's a generations-long flight to another planet and this is the only movie

that's on board in the on-ship library, then like, it could be worse, but there's so many other choices, even for good bad movies to watch. board in the in the on ship library and like that it could be worse but yeah there's no there's so many other choices even for good bad movies to watch live on a political form of George yeah unless you're an absolute weirdo like me who text you both saying I've had my eye on this one yeah just because it's such a strange cultural artifact yeah there's no need to excavate it. I would say it's for Paul Hogan completists only. Yeah.

I mean, I think from now on, they'll screen it every year at Hogan. Yeah. Uh huh. As we all eat our hogis. Yep, that's the food choice at Hogan, hogis. On the only things to watch, there are the Paul Hogan movies and the ballad of cable hogis. Yep, that's the food choice at Hocon. Hogis. On the only things to watch, there are the Paul Hogan movies and the ballot of cable hog starting Jason Robards, second Sam Pekkenpaw reference of the episode, dudes.

Nice. Nice. Well, let us move on to letters from listeners. You can write us a letter. Yeah, why not? Why not? Why don't you do it right now? Yeah, why not? Why not? Why not? Why do you do it right now?

Yeah, nothing stopping you, yeah? Or is it? Who's stopping you from writing a letter? Tell us. Write us a letter and tell, oh wait, you can't. Okay, how are you gonna communicate with us if you can't write a letter? Can you tweet?

No, you won't. You tweet either. Okay, what, Dan, do you think, maybe they can call us on the phone? I'll just give them your phone number. Okay, that's Dan McCoy. One, two, three, four, five, six. We put out.

This is from Alexander last name with held. Who writes? I'll make it size. My first child is due on Christmas Eve. In my last last year's. You know, there was another child who is due on Christmas Eve. I was told to tell me about the work of Christmas Eve. A very special child. And that child's name was Humphrey Bogart born on Christmas

Day in 1899. My first deal on Christmas Eve, my spouse, has 12 weeks of paid parental leave, shout out to paid parental leave, and I will use FMLA to take off 8. Can you recommend movies or audiobooks to experience in 15 to 30 minute intervals between diaper changing, slash feeding, slash napping, slash cuddling? Bonus points of the experience is heightened by pronounced lack of sleep and or excess of hormones.

Best Alexander. That's, I'm gonna say right off the bat that if your experience is like mine, you're gonna be like, oh, all this time, I'm just like holding a baby or waiting to hold a baby. I'll use that time to catch up on movies. It doesn't work that way. I'm sorry.

Yeah, your mind will be adult. You'll, you'll only be able to do one thing, which is curse the gods that you ever chose to continue this, but night in race notice humanity. Bring this box upon yourself. But what do you guys think? What stuff that's been watching like 50 figures? I figured this would be mostly a question for you. To be honest, when my older son was a baby,

it just every now and then I'd try to watch a movie in the middle of the night while I was like trying to soothe him, and it wouldn't really work when my younger son was a baby. There was only one movie I managed to watch that way and that was stalker Andrei Tarkovsky's, you know, kind of hypnotic, kind of boring science fiction film. And unfortunately the problem was that part of the strengths, one of the strengths of stalker is the sound design and I had to watch it with the sound super low because I was trying to get a baby to sleep. So I was like, I'll watch a foreign movie. I'll read the subtitles. But I still didn't get the full movie.

That being said, with headphones, I mean, take, get, find a long book that you really want to hear and go for it. There's a little book called The Power Broker. It's very long. They'll give you plenty of things to listen to. Just slap the noise canceling on your headphones so that the baby doesn't bother you. Exactly. And Stu, what's the, what's the Nebic fantasy story maybe?

Or something, some real long novel or something like that? Oh, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I feel, I was gonna try and answer the question about like movies to watch. I feel like also, don't you, don't you like watch most of your movies while doing the dishes? How long do you take doing the dishes?

I mean, every time I watch the movies, it's in 15 to 30 minute intervals because I'm doing the dishes while I do it. Yeah, so. Yeah. The only, I've only, the only movies I get to watch all the way through these days are children's movies I'm watching with my kids.

So if anyone has any questions about my neighbor, Totoro, I recently watched that all the way through. Yeah, it's great. Otherwise, I'll continue to go back to watching Malcolm X in 30-minute chunks while I do the dishes. So your recommendation is all movies. Every movie should be watched. I mean, the amazing thing about watching movies

that way is that I feel like it gives me a much better sense of whether a movie is hitting certain marks structurally, because it's like, I know I am this far into the movie. Where am I in the movie? And when it's a really good movie, I feel like, okay, I'm as far into the movie as I feel like I should be into the movie. Like the movie feels like it's at the right point. And if it's a movie that's feel like, okay, I'm, I'm as far into the movie as I feel like I should be into the movie.

Like the movie feels like it's at the right point. And if it's a movie that's not working as well, there are a lot of times when I'm like, what am I like? An hour, an hour and 20 minutes in this movie. Okay, 35 minutes. No car has been saved yet. What the heck? Save the cat.

There's that. She love hasn't shown up yet. Every movie has that she love moment when she like, that's classic story, circle structure. You got to have a she love moment. Sure. Yeah. Okay, but Stu, recommend some movies then. I don't fucking know like you like, I don't recommend movies.

Okay, recommend movies. I don't know. Do you follow the football? Like that. I mean, I feel like so I've been watching it. Like I watch a lot of stuff when I when I work out at home and all that shit is like, uh, whatever, whatever is like, like fucking, uh, like chopping mall and shit on shutter. I watch things that I know that like, I'm going to enjoy that have like chopping mall

have a Academy award winning soundtrack and, uh, yeah, like stuff that, stuff that like chopping mall and Teton as soon as it's over, I just want to start it back up again. It helps the chopping mall. That's only like 70 minutes long. But I feel like, uh, you're really hitting chopping mall hard. This is a big, this is a big like chopping mall. I don't know. I mean, like, yeah, I would say I generally would use that time to like go through weird shit in unlike shutter or dig deep into the bowels of Amazon Prime and Netflix to see what kind of fucking mysteries await you. Yeah, especially if it's a baby, they can't, they don't understand what's going on on the screen.

So you don't have to worry about them watching something that's going to scar them for later. Yeah. Unlike when I was, when I finally got to see Mandy a couple years ago and I sat there worried the entire time that my son would wander into the room, having woken up in the middle of the night and see something terrify. See a guy with like, see these horrible perverts slopping down their food while watching the 49 TV before Nicholas Cage shot their heads off, you know. Oh, man, that's awesome. You're making it, Sam.

I want to watch it again right now. It's a great movie. Just even even if my kids walked in during the cheddar goblins commercial, probably would have done something terrible when they're psyche. Oh, they would spend so many years like wondering, did I dream that? What was that?

Maybe like, was that a real, knowing my kids, they'd be like, I want to eat that. Is that a real part? How do I get that? Moving on, Tyler last name withheld. Perry. What are the lyrics to the Flop House theme song? We all love the instrumental version,

but sometimes you just need to sing along, you know? I tried to googling it, but all I got were Elliot's male song videos and the full house lyrics. Tyler last name withheld. This is like the Gene Roddenberry thing where he wrote lyrics, or he would never be played with the original

things that I'm just trying to search for. So that he would get paid every time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you would get a co-writing credit. It's the same way that there's like, there's lyrics to the odd couple theme, which are terrible, you know. Man, we should've gotten in on this.

Yeah. No. Yeah. Well, if you guys ever adapt the flop house to television, that's what you got to do. Yeah. I mean, the ironic thing is there are lyrics to the flop house theme. I don't know if you guys know them, but the lyrics are whatever happened to predictability. The milkman, the paperboy, the evening TV.

It seems like the meter of that wouldn't fit the- It fits. I'm not going to do it now, but sing it for yourself. Okay. Yeah, try this at home, everyone. It's an experiment you can do. Yeah, do this. It's the TikTok.

Just pull out some vinegar and some baking soda and then sing the lyrics. Yup, it's called the Full Flop House Challenge, hashtag Full Flop House Challenge, posted TikTok, sing the Full House lyrics to the flop house theme. Yeah. But yeah, so I'm gonna have a full year round.

I'm supposed to TikTok. Someone will actually do this, Elliot. I want them to do it on a platform that I understand and we'll look at. Dan, Dan, I keep telling you, you need to start a TikTok account where you bake things for me and I get to do reaction shots. Sounds good. I don't understand it, but it sounds great. Let's move on to recommendations of movies that we have seen and would recommend, I will recommend, you know what, Stuart and I, He's gonna say Mr. Dunty.

Next. Stuart and I went out, we saw a movie together. I was, he was, Oh, Stuart Stuart, Oh, sweet. Oh, maybe, Stuart Stuart, I'm more,

Yeah, so is, are you trying, you got married and then you're trying as best as you can to take, spend no time with your wife? Oh, I'm trying, you got married and then you're trying as best as you can to take, spend no time with your wife? I'm trying, you got married to a different person than I thought you were to. Audrey has worked to do during this day, whereas I, currently,

whereas fewer, sometimes can get, yeah, sneak out of work. Anyway, so, yeah, we were, we went to see last night and so homeho which Stewart did not enjoy as much as me and I will I will admit that Stewart's critiques are correct that Edgar Wright and I forget the co-writer Of the screen broke It doesn't matter. It's their wrong.

Her. The screenplay does not necessarily have the subtlety or sensitivity to like deal with a lot of the stuff it brings up. And I understand that criticism and that the plotting gets a little like broke towards the end and in a way that undermines maybe some of the themes of the movie. I'm trying to be vague because, you know, they're twists and turns of that kind of movie. Was that what you had with the twists or with the turns? Well, look, I like, the problem is like, I didn't, and I see what Stuart's saying, but I also like didn't walk in,

expecting like a coherent sort of feminist statement out of the film. I expected a skillful, genre pastiche, as I'd go right, is good at doing. And so I was perhaps less disappointed by the turns it takes and the movie. if you can enjoy it just on a pure, like this is a movie about movies level and you're okay with that.

Like it has a very entrancing sort of world to live in. Like I do a right, where it means unparalleled, I think it like matching music to action with modern filmmakers. And there's just a lot of joy and skill in the way the world is realized, even if like, I don't know, the sort of movie it is and the sort of filmmaker a great is like combined together, whines up with some wonky plotting and themes maybe. But I

thought it was a lot of fun. I've thought about it a lot since I watched it. Yeah, I mean, technically it's very good, but kind of like, it makes me think of JoJo Rabbit, another movie that I did not like from a filmmaker I do like, and I've enjoyed thinking about why I don't like those movies. Oh, okay. Which, you know, it's important to understand why you don't like things sometimes.

I'm going to recommend a movie from Denmark. Oh, yeah. From 2020 starring Guess Who, a mad Zmikkelsen, a man who I am very mad about, because he's great. I'm recommending a movie called Riders of Justice. Oh, I got to see this. It's, it's fucking great. It's about a military man played by Matt's Mikkelsen, who his wife dies in an accident,

and he returns home to kind of take up his life and help out his grieving daughter. And then he is approached by a mathematician who explains that math, it was mathematically impossible for it to be an accident that it had to be an act of violence. And it leads down this weird revenge, it turns into this revenge story that's similar to another movie that I love recently, Pig. I feel like it subverts a lot of the revenge movie tropes. But it also manages to add in, you know, just enough thrills for it to be exciting. And it's great. I really enjoyed it. It's sweet and touching. And yep, thumbs up, writers of justice. And if you see a movie poster for it, the movie poster

that's at least on, uh, that's on most streaming services is fucking dog shit. It looks like, it looks like this like knock off fucking Suns of Andrew Key guard, which and it is absolutely not that. It has like motorcycles exploding, which I don't think I've seen a single exploding motorcycle in the movie. Just looking up this. They just picked weird stock images, huh?

Yeah, it's kind of weird. Yeah, this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just that's blockers. It is not that like that.. They should have done this has my hands, Michelson pushing two buildings aside, pushing two motorcycles aside, like, they're butt cheeks. Yeah, with a big smile on his face. Oh, it's nasty.

Should I go with a wreck? Yeah, do it. Sure, I'll go last. That's fine. I saw the new Alma Dovar film last night at AFI Fest. It's called Parallel Mothers, and it is absolutely wonderful. It's a sort of a melodrama with Penelope Cruz playing a, you know, she becomes a mother unexpectedly in her 40s, and she meets this young woman who has also become a mother unexpectedly, I think underage in the hospital. And there are some high jinks to do with their relationship that I don't want to spoil,

but there's also kind of a plot running in the background about the Spanish Civil War and Penelope Cruz's family history with that. And it's sort of comparing the sort of lies that we tell in our day-to-day lives to the kinds of lies that like fascist regimes keep telling. And it is like incredibly powerful. The end, I was just like, I was in a theater and my N95 was like totally soaked when I was walking out. Because it's like, it's such a wallop at the end. But it's also just like,

it's got all of the like, things that I love about, an El Mandovaar movie, like all the fun melodrama stuff and feeling like I'm in like a, almost like a soap opera stretches and then and then like realizing that it's all been like building to a really mind-shattering conclusion. So really recommended. I think it's going to be on Netflix in 2022, but if you can see it before then run don't walk.

I mean, it's not giving us much time. 2022 is almost here. 2022, but if you can see it before, then run, don't walk. I mean, it's not giving us much time. 2022 is almost here. Oh, yeah. I guess it is. Get ready guys. It's almost new years. That's right. Find someone to kiss when the ball drops.

Your resolution should be to watch parallel, mother. How is that going to fit into a pair of sunglasses for me? Where my eyes gonna go? One is gonna go in the oh right the two the zero Just like a scoop out that a two has that you can go there. Okay, okay, so I guess yeah It's about 2022 Best minds have been on the have been working on this It's one of the reason why 22k they called it.

One of the reasons we were taken so surprised by the pandemic was that all the CDC and everybody were working on this problem. So I think they've got it almost worked out. They have a big white board that says extra I question. 2020202, question mark. I'll recommend a movie finally. I'm going to recommend a movie by a director, who I previously recommended a movie by before. I'm going to recommend the movie Working Girls, which is currently on the criterion channel. It's written and directed by, or co-written and directed by Lizzie Borden, whose movie Born in Flames, I recommended a while ago. And it's a kind of

day in the life movie. It takes place over one day about a woman who works at like, it's a boutique brothel in the mid-80s, the movies from 1986, and how very dull most of that is, and how also very awkward a lot of that is and it's about her and these other women that work at this this brothel and when things I liked about it was that it is neither glamorizing sex work and making it look like it is a liberating you know enlightening experience nor is it making it seem like it is the worst hell that a person can go through. It makes it feel very much like a job. And there were times when I was watching it where I was like, I wish I could adapt this

into a sitcom about these women basically having to sit around and hang out together until John's come in and then having to deal with each John's individual weird thing that they need. They can only get from the women who work at this place. And some of it is funny and some of it is really serious and thought provoking. And I just, I really liked a lot.

It feels like you are spending time watching some real people living in this space. And the movie, although it's about prostitutes and a brothel, it is very much about what it is like to have a job and to work for a job where you do not control your hours, you don't control what you do during the day. And you're kind of at the whim of a boss who pretends to care about you, but really only sees you as something to be making money from.

So it's ultimately about capitalism, but it was really good. But that makes it sound like it is kind of like an academic treatise when it's actually really entertaining movie. So that's working girls from Lizzy Borden. Well, what a delight. What a delight to be here with you fellows. I write these down most weeks when I listen to your show. Who's do you like best? Yeah, who's not the highest? It's okay if it's me.

Yeah, who's not the highest candidate? Okay, if it's me. I actually don't know. But I just write them down. I have a shared note with my wife. And we've watched quite a few of the movies that you guys have recommended. And it's really been a great part of our week. I get the flop house, and then I get this fringe benefit.

Oh, thank you. Thanks very much. It's really nice to say. We, you know, sometimes we feel like people just proudly fast forward through the recommendations part, because, you know, we're not doing our classic jokes that people love so much. It's a kiss. Well, in all our bits, our theme flop has.

And the famous bits that people ultimately on Twitter clamor for and then tell me to never do again. And it's, but I feel that way sometimes too, or I worry that way because I remember when I was running a screening series in New York, it was very hard. You would say this is a great movie. You're going to love it. It's going to really mean something to you. And it would be hard to get people to say that.

But if you were like, you got to come see this movie. It's the biggest piece of shit. It's so digulous. You wouldn't have an act of hunger. It would be cool. But if you're like, this movie is a, like you have to trust me, this movie, you're gonna remember it for the rest of your life.

They'd be like, eh, I don't know. So. Well, you do that, you do that presentation about Nukie, and you are imploring the audience to under no circumstances watch Nukie. Like you are begging, you are underneath, begging them. Please don't watch it. And every person I've talked to after your presentation is like,

I gotta watch that fucking shot. This is a presentation I used to do at live shows about the movie Nukki, the second worst movie I ever saw. Yeah, and it's like, it's like this is a bad movie. Don't wait, don't spend your time on it. And instead of writing this down, Elliot, how do you spell that? Oh, I like it sounds.

I mean, the purpose, the point of the presentation is, I mean, if people want to see it, who haven't seen it, next time we do a virtual show, maybe I'll do that one. But the point of the presentation is that perhaps this movie is art in a way by making us as, feel the discomfort of the main character. But it's, yeah. But people, yeah, they're like, oh, a bad thing. I'm drawn to that.

Yeah. I live in the 21st century. Joy is devalued. I need the sting of torture to know I'm alive. As someone who is, I mean, arguably, like the most committed to trash of the three of us, and that, you know, we have a bad movie podcast. And then on top of that, I will watch bad movies. Yeah, weekly. You Yeah. Weekly. You can't just... I'm much too early at my confusion.

You can't just fill yourself with garbage. You got to have good stuff, too. Please get a little salt to bring out the sweets. Yeah. Wait, that was the other way. Yeah. Well, I mean, it is similar to food. Movies are like you are what you eat.

Like at a certain point you become the media you're ingesting. And I think if anything the last 20 years of public life in America has shown us that if you ingest nothing but crap, then you find yourself turning into a thing you don't want to be. You know, so I guess what I can say is have a good thing every now and then. Like watch a good movie every now and then like watch a good movie every now and then people. I'm sure you're all well. I'll listen to some sure you're watching good movies right here. But you know, look for them. You know.

Yeah. Well anyway, so the normal stuff at the end, which is to say the important stuff. Well, the first thing I'm going to say is, hey, Ben, do you have anything you'd like to plug, my man? Oh, sure. Yeah. So I host the greatest generation and the greatest discovery right here on the maximum fun.org network. Those are Star Trek podcasts. And if you're into Star Trek, give them a listen.

If you're watching the new shows, that's greatest discovery. And if you are into the old shows, that's the greatest generation. We've done NextGen and DS9, and we're currently working our way through Voyager. I feel like even if you're only like medium into Star Trek, you'll like the show. It's got to turn a funny bitch. Yeah.

I just enjoy these shows. I think they're really funny. And I'm a war's boy. I don't really care that much about Star Trek. Yeah. Yeah. And also, if you're a maximum fun member, I just to plug the network,

there's a bonus episode where you, you, Jens and we Jens come together to talk about Star Trek 5. Yeah, one of my favorite things we've ever done is the flop house X greatest Jens collabo in the Max von Bonus feed. Love. Yeah.

That was, it was, it was, it was really fun to talk about. Kirk killing a cat woman in a pool table full of milk. He helped move me. Or an elderly spot killing a grifter that is posing as God at the center of the galaxy. And an old William Shatner climbing, free climbing up a mountain. That was ridiculous. That's...

Um, but I also have a new podcast called KPod 101.3, and that is a show that I'm doing independently with Dan Kennedy of the Moth podcast where we play to morning drive time DJs on an alternative rock station in LA in 1998 and our characters are just back from rehab. We were forced, we were suspended from the air and sent to rehab. So we're two characters that would otherwise have never had a moment of introspection in their life who are now like back on air and trying to be the the zoo crew that they are expected to be but are like wondering, hey, are we jerks while they're doing it? So the comedy is from that.

I both love that. I'm like, wow, a high concept. Yeah, it's it's it's kind of weirdly high concept, but it's low 30 minute, 25 to 30 minute episodes. We've had some really great guests. We've had Ophira Eisenberg and Jesse Thorn and Ted Travelsted. And we've got some great folks coming up. I'm hoping to rope the three of you in for guest spots at some point in the future. But you don't have to promise to any of that. Deans pumping his fists.

That's easy. Yeah, he's an amazing. I mean, Dan's either excited or hungry. I can't tell. The people, he's an ex-ungrie. He's rubbing his belly, so I think it's maybe the second thing. I gotta get some food in this, Deans. Wait, Stewart, I see Dan is looking at you

and you're turning into a big turkey leg. Oh, no. But I still have a face, right? Yeah, yeah. Is that a Zoom filter or is that really heaven? Oh my god. Oh my god. Well, that sounds very interesting. But thank you guys for having me.

This is a real treat. I love your show so much. Thank you for coming on. Thank you, sir. Well, now I will also show so much. Thank you for coming on. Thank you, sir. Well, now I will also thank our network, Maximum Fun, mentioned them earlier. Go to MaximumFun.org to check out other shows.

You might like whether they're funny or serious. I think the network has a nice kind of vibe that carries through the different shows. So I'm sure you'll find something else that you'll like. Also thank you to Alex Smith, you know, check out his podcasts until deaf, do us a party who is not extant at the moment, but had steward on it. And then he's got the fast track. But for the flop house, I've been Damakoy. I'm steward Wellington. I'm Ellie Kaelin. but for the flop house, I've been Damakoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Ellie Kaelin.

And for the last time, I'm Ben Harrison. The last one. Boom. Whatever happened to predictability, the milkman, the paperboy, the Amy TV. Uh, uh. Uh. Very end of the episode, Ben, we will say say our names and you will say your name after Elliott says his name.

You might do a fucking fit. You never know this guy. He's one of the best. We always forget to tell the guests that they're expected to see themselves out by saying their name and it's always confusing. Is this an awkward silence? No, no, me too. And we're like, God, you look like an idiot.

Why not a lot of podcasts? That's the only way we can feel smarter. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned, audience supported.