The Flop House - Ep. #358 - Grand Isle

Episode Date: December 18, 2021

Is it Cagemas already? Seems like it comes earlier every year. At any rate, Saint Nicolas Cage has left us something awfully spicy beneath the tree this year. It's a giant slice of deep-fried southern ham, with big performances from Cage, KaDee Strickland, and Money Plane's Kelsey Grammer. Dare you join us for a visit to Grand Isle?Wikipedia entry for Grand IsleMovies recommended in this episode:CopshopThe FableThe Fable: The Killer Who Doesn't KillMalcolm X

On this episode we discuss Grand Isle. Also known as Accents, The Movie. Hello everyone and Merry Cage Miss! Oh, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm just regularly killing another ghost or a Santa or any of those things. Okay. Just a regular old guy. I mean, I feel like part of, I think at its heart, this show is an improv podcast and Ellie just looked at her.

I didn't, I did not doubt the reality that he did what you guys were living in. No, I'm, I'm the character. I'm the character in the SNL sketch who's like, what? That's crazy. Yeah. Why would you do that? You know, the character you need. Like an audience, it's an audience surrogate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Finally, there's a character in the sketch that's expressing what I want to know. Uh-huh. Wow. Elliot Kaelin's dismissing the concept of the straight man outright. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there's a difference between a straight man and a character.

I can't, the straight man has had enough say in Hollywood. Don't you think, Dan, let's hear it for the boy. I think not. A clapping hands emoji, clapping hands emoji, great. Dan, I think the difference is the straight man in a sketch is usually the one who is annoyed by what's going on. Whereas the straight man and a lot of the old rest and L sketches, I don't know if they still do it.

I haven't watched the show in a long time. Will is there to kind of point out to the audience that there is a premise to make sure the audience didn't miss what's going on. I'll be honest, sometimes I need the premise, the fact that there's a premise pointed out to me because occasionally they'll put on a sketch where they appear to shift premises every few minutes that alarms me. Yeah.

Hey, if you can't deal with the new tiktokification of SNL, where it's just a new piece of content every couple of seconds, then I guess I'll leave it up to the young people like me and Stu. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, I need all of my content to be immediately gifified or jifified, which is a tan. Well, gifified is when it's animated Giffafide is when it becomes peanut butter. Delicious.

Well, as you look out, but not loud schools anymore, thanks. No, no. As you know, as you know, doubt guests by now, this is a podcast about bad, bad movies, not our bad movie. It was about one bad movie. That would probably be the worst idea of all time. But instead, it's about many bad movies. It's called the fly. Do you mean it would be the worst idea of all time or it would be the podcast, the worst idea of all time? Okay. Wow, who are a sponsor of the show? I guess like, you know, check

them out. They're funny too. But the point is check it out. Listen to this show. Don't stop listening to this and go to the podcast. I'm not saying stop listening. I'm rising tide lifts all ships. Let's get the idea of podcasts out there into the meat space. Take it. Yeah. Click it on your desktop, drag the law, I gone to trash, and then hit delete floppas for them anyway. No.

No. This is a flop. This is a flop. This is where it's fair to you. You can't out your honor. I'll allow it. There's there's nothing. I'm drew about that.

This is a lot of time. Wait a minute. Wait, is the judge a dog too? This seems unfair. So, and probably not only is this your honor. Certainly a dog can't practice law and the judge goes rough because it's also a dog. Oh, man. Why am I a dog? A airbud series. Where airbud is now a judge. Yeah, yeah, it's when the air butt and the Lincoln lawyer crossed over. So wait, now the weird thing is he's judged red, but he's a dog. Now here's my question.

So William Wegman, he did those pictures redress us up his dogs in clothes. How can we never dress them up in like costume costumes? Like superhero costumes. When do you want us? When do you want to see like a big draw, a big dog dressed up as like the Joker or something like that. Always. Yeah. What do you think? Jokers

find that dog? Probably that he was the Joker's dog. We live in a pack. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Well done. This is a podcast and probably based on all that nonsense and fufurram, it's a reasonably successful one. And the premise is, we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. And Dan, tell us about Cajmas. Cajmas is a special time of year where we honor St. Nicholas Cage, who is a great actor who is known for giving...

On a hot street right now, if you have any... Based performances. Yeah. But until, I mean, like he seems to be coming out of it now, maybe he's out of his financial difficulties. And tell recently, he had not been making the best choices. I say this because I don't, I don't want to contribute to like this memification of cage where we're like, oh, what a crazy guy.

Like, is he a bad actor? He's a great actor. I mean, go watch a pig and a big rule scene. Long time, long time listeners, don't listen to the overkill song pig, which is a great song, but it's not related to the movie in any way. A long time listeners of this podcast will know

or it stands on Nicholas Cage is that he is a great actor who does not always know the best way to channel the amazing amounts of acting energy that he has. Much like Havoc, the X-Men character who must wear a special costume to contain the cosmic energies that he's always absorbing. Nicholas Cage is kind of like that with acting energy and it's really well known that.

When you fill out one of those based on your answers to these questions, which X-Men character are you usually, are you? Because I usually get like havoc usually. You do. I don't allow a lot of these because the first time I got havoc, I'm like, oh, that's sucks. He just explains his powers and then never uses them. I mean, because he's so scared of him.

He's always living in his brother's shadow too. No. What I mean to me, you know, then I'm probably night crawl or beast. I'm going to be blue and furry. That's me. That's the life of a Jewish person, blue and furry. Anyway. So, well, the furry part. So the, but Nicholas Cage, it's well known. He had a lot of financial issues for a while. He didn't pay his taxes. So we kind of had to take whatever movie was thrown his way. And lately, he hasn't been doing as much of that, which is great. Or maybe it's just that people are learning how to use him again, you know, after his

really. Let's do another tangent. But Dan, I think you and I should, uh, should identify and celebrate Elliott's growth by saying that he needs to be blue and furry. And then he did not say WDW down. I will. Yeah, I was waiting for it. Did not happen.

And, uh, you know, Elliott, the intervention we staged, obviously paid off. Yeah. I remember very well. You each told me how I'd hurt you by continuing to tell you that I'm blue, W's all, it's a process. So Nicholas Cage, he's great. And we like to celebrate him at least twice a year. And so we watched a Nicholas Cage movie, right? But we had to dig back a couple of years. There wasn't time when we had a bounty of Nicholas Cage needs to pay his bills, movies, usually shot in Eastern Europe for very little money

and released on VOD to dig through. But lately, like we was saying, he's been on an upswing yet pig and he had a, other things. I call her out of space was good. Oh yeah, I call her out of space. Yeah. He's gonna play Dracula, right?

That sounds great. I mean, I mean, going back a little further, you got Mandy, you got, you got this into the spider verse, obviously. You do the spider verse. And then we have Grand Isle. It's all great. Yeah. Well, so Dan, what brought you this?

So Dan, what brought you to our movie this week, Grand Isle? Because you were like, we gotta see this one, boys. Oh, wow. You had dollar signs in your eyes, then your mouth hung open, and your tongue rolled up out, and you hit yourself in the head of the mallet, and then your tongue rolled back up again. Your eyes turned into a stone with this.

And his tongue was a giant dollar bill, but it was clearly a novelty dollar bill so we could use it on camera. Yeah, exactly. It was like the money in the wire, which always looks super fakie, like they just photocopied a drawing of a dollar bill. But so Dan, what was it about that now? Well, you know, so other than the fact that everything about the movie screams thick gumbo of accents. Listeners may know that I'm the one of the three of us who in his personal non-flop house

life still sort of maintains a dedication to trash in my movies. Even though I am the oldest and theoretically have the least time to waste on this earth ice. Yeah, That's right. True. And to put it into layman's terms that everyone will understand, if Dan was walking by the classic East Village clothing store trash in Vodville, he'd say, I don't need Vodville, just give me trash. No, you know, you know, you know, you know, I would want the Vodville to.

Yeah, I actually, Dan would like the Vodville to actually, Dan's ideal Vodville show would be like probably some, some, just like some comedy jugglers from the 30s pretending that there's a ghost in the room and then just like an alien having sex with a woman and someone shooting the head off of a monster. Like that would be Dan's ideal Vodville. I find it very strange to think that there's anyone in the world

who wouldn't be entertained by all of that. But anyway, the point is I had read reviews of this a waist back when it came out. And I like a big slab of Southern Fried Ham in my movies. And also seeing that not only Nick Cage was in this, but also Kelsey Grammer felt like a, a net grammar for our, was it an accent? Yeah, yeah. Wait, are you saying the rumble from money plane is in this movie?

Yep. I have what's weird is so, so Kelsey Grammer is slowly turning it to the late Senator Fred Thompson, who was like an acting senator. And in this movie, there were times I was like, how did they get Fred Thompson? He died years ago.

Oh, it's Kelsey Grammer. Hold on a second. Wait. That's true. And there were times when I was like, how did they get Fred Thompson? He died years ago. Oh, it's Kelsey Grammer. Hold on a second. That's true. And there's also, and the other actors in the movie, I also, I wasn't super familiar with, but they also are very heavy Southern accented, like two. And the writing of this movie, you literally have a person, a woman in a bathtub saying to a man, why is just standing there like a tree in the woods? And it's like, come on.

There's so much. There's so much. There's so much. There's so much. It's a real, like what would you call it? Tennessee Williamsploitation movie. Yeah. It's like, it is a Southern Gothic's crossed with, you know, noir up until the end, which I'm sure we'll get to where the movie flies straight off the rails. It's kind of like quite sure I understand.

It's kind of like unpleasant. It's kind of like the James Hurley bit from the end of the first, what, the second season of Twin Peaks mixed with people under the stairs. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's it's I see and I thought this movie it really kept surprising me not in the it's not in a pleasant way. You thought it was like you thought it was going to be a video game created by a son who wanted to reconnect with his father. Yes. Oh, and that's what I wanted.

So in which his dad has sex with a bunch of people. And jumps naked into the ocean, scrotum first. We're talking about course about the movie. It was called a serenity, not serenity. Serenity, white-blind movie. I wanted to call it justice fish, but because there's a fish called justice in it, right? A fish called justice, then that's a title.

Yeah, a fish called justice is the sequel to a fish called Wanda, where they're all cops now. Oh, wow, that's too bad. I don't think it's gonna play a role for just audiences. And the judge is a dog. So this really, it starts out seeming like it's gonna be like a Southern crime

noir thing, then it's gonna be like a sexual thriller, then it turns into an action movie kind of, and then by the end, it's a horror movie. And but all through it is such a, like you could have taken this same script and shot it and it released it. You shot it in the 70s and released it into like a grindhouse movie in times, to theater and time square. And I don't think you would have, I mean, change the, not, I guess, topical

references because it takes place in 1988. But it's, it, the whole time I was watching, I was like, oh, yeah, this is what it was like to watch like, to unironically watch like a grindhouse movie in a movie theater where you feel gross the whole time like there's a flood on you. Well, also, I, I mean, this, this will make a little more sense once we've gotten into it, but as long as we're talking like meta things about the, the movie. Yeah. The, I've seen this bit of trivia written up a couple of places on the internet. I don't know whether it's true or not, but supposedly the screenplay was originally called fancy buddy and Mr. Walter. Fancy buddy and Mr. Walter. That's. Yes. I wonder. I mean,

but I also saw a trivia that said Nicholas Cage ad lived all his lines, which I do not think is true because there's plot information. But there is one. There is one line. I'm going to highlight ahead of time. He probably did. There's one line where he is one line. I'm going to highlight the head of time. There's a unity probably, dude. There's one line where he's, so Nicholas Cage's character is talking to the hero, question mark buddy, and he says, so how long has it been since you had your cock, a fuck, like what? And he's almost like Nicholas Cage in that moment cannot believe what he's saying. And the words jump out of him without him even realize, like, and I was only while he's saying that he's like, what am I saying? So that was, that was a moment that's almost

watching the movie. Oh, it's awesome. Sure, this is a wind. Yeah, sir. I just wanted to know if you wanted to king size or queen size bed. It's the, the Marriott. Okay, stick with me, guys. LA, you're suggesting that this could have been a grindhouse or like a late night cinematics movie in the 90s, maybe. I'm going to cast that fucker right now. Walter is George Hamilton, fancy is Shannon Tweed, buddy is Billy Zane. Boom scored that. Yeah, no, it's on. It's amazing for flawless victory.

That's on at one 30 in the morning on cinematics. And here's the problem. Here's the problem in the TV guy that says nudity, which means a shot of someone's but not sexual situations, which means a lot of nudity. So Dan, I just, I, the one, my one problem, I, I get, we should tell, I'll go into what the movie's about to. I feel like it's a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sane. Seems to like, both, both too smart for this part and too much like he would be the one em broiling you in a web of that's true.

That's sexual desire. I guess that's it. I guess that's it's funny how amazing casting can sometimes improve a move. Oh, okay. I just did. No, I do think that one of the major problems with this movie is our ostensible lead. But is the charisma. Oh, yeah. The, well, when the, he has the amount of like sexual chemistry with fancy as, say, like

the chemistry between the entire cast of the movie red nuke. And I know you're confused. Fancy is not a golden retriever. Fancy is the name of the female lead in the movie. Well, the name of the, of the character movie. Well, the name of the character. Yes, the name of the character. It's Katie Strickland who apparently was on a bunch of private practice that seemed to be her largest credit, but no, I just think fancy sounds like a show dog named in New

York. And she's not the problem in this. I feel like the buddy is the problem. Yeah. Well, and there's, there's a number of problems in the movie. Let's, let's go through it and we'll talk about it. Okay. So we start out. It's, there's a creepy, well dressed woman in a big house.

That's fancy. We'll find out later. She buys some girls, girl scouts cookies. She buys some girls scout cookies very creepily at her door. This does not play much into the rest of the movie, but I guess it just establishes that there's a creepy lady who. For shadowing. It's for shadow, I guess, but we never see those cookies again. So it's not like checkup girls go cookies. What's going on with those thin mints? Yeah. That's

your that's your go to or is it some I was I like a soma law. I just thought that then meant was like a more accessible comedy choice. I don't know. That's fair. That's very fair. And do they still call them Samoas? Uh, that's a good question. Google it.

Okay. Audience at home. Google it and write it into us at, do they still call it Samoas? Here on the Fakir of the Flava's Dan's real address, Brooklyn, New York, United States America. I guess that is real address. Yeah. So, then it's nighttime. We see that it's 1988 and the thief is breaking into the house.

How do we see that? Do we see it because they're watching a TV show that's only on in 1988? No, it's just the numbers. The numbers 1988 appear on screen. That's the extent of it. And later, and I guess the TVs we see are all tube TVs. And they end up nobody answers a cell phone. Nobody has a cell phone. Nobody ghouls anything. Nobody has a digit pet, you know. I want to make it clear. I know that that's horrible.

The cube is an earlier 80s thing, but they were still around. It was, it was, it was like, you know, I feel like that's the lazy movies way of showing you that you're in the 80s. Yeah. So, Nicholas, Nicholas Cage who later learned his Walter, he's also, so I forgot at a certain point, this movie was set in the 80s and he starts talking about being in Vietnam and I was like, there's no way he's old enough to have been in Vietnam, you know, wait a second, this movie is set in the 80s.

So that night, a thief breaks into Walter's house. He gets up in his bathrobe and pajamas and he opens up his bedside drawer that has only like a few items of jewelry and a pistol and the loaded pistol. And he goes down and he tells the thief, you just broke into the wrong house. The thief, they start fighting the thief escapes. But as he is about to jump over the fence and get away from the property, Nicholas Cage shoots him in the back from a distance.

Thus maybe killing him, we don't know. And he does a little bit of banter, right? It's a little bit of like, like a little like most dangerous game shit here, huh? Yes, the implication seems to be, the implication later on seems to be that they like lured him in somehow, but we never see that this thief. It's just a random thief.

It's not James Con from the movie thief. You don't hear any music from Tangerine Dream. It's just a regular old thief in a very recognizable hoodie. Okay, cut to buddy, our hero, played by Luke Menward, and you'll have to know if you ever need to go north, just notice which star is pointing Benward. And that have to know if you ever need to go north, just notice which star is pointing Benward. And that's the way that you want to go. So he's being interrogated by that's right. Kelsey grammar, who is just, just chomp on off pieces of this Southern Fried steak that he's got. Like, and I mean, that metaphorically, like his, he's so, there's

a part where there's this line where later on,'s like, where do you want New York LA? This is a grand draw. What is it? What is it? You're so cute. Yeah. How many hours did he stuff into the word grand aisle? It's just he's really he's he's really doing it doing it up. Kelsey grammar.

I assumed all of the scenes were shot in one location the same day, but he shows up at the end of the movie in a second location. So he might have been there for two days. And he's like, oh, he says, you've been arrested for murder. And I thought it was so, it took me so long to realize that buddy was not supposed to be the thief for them for seeing. Yeah. It's not super clear.

He goes, you've been arrested for murder. You got to tell me what happened because right now you're going to take, you're going to the chair. And we have a flat. Right. Potatoes. Yes, it's a sling blade and so forth. Buddy is trying to he's trying to interest a guy who's just trying to sit at a lunch counter and investing in some kind of project.

We find out what it is. The guy the counter has no lines, but Buddy follows him into the restaurant and keeps talking to him while he looks at the menu. Buddy says, I'll talk to me about it later. Buddy then goes to see his wife and baby who are in the restaurant already. He's sitting at a booth. He's the man of them. I'm going to say, if you're going to set up your day, you might as well stack it like

that, you know. It's like, well, I'm going to be, I'm going to meet this guy at his office. But at certain point, he's going to get fed up with me and escape to the local diner. You go to the diner and I'll meet you there. Their baby is sick, which is identified by it coughing sometimes, and they need money. Buddy refuses to let his wife work

and they haven't had sex in six months, which becomes a big plot point because she's still dealing with having had a baby. She seems to be dealing with some kind of postpartum depression, very common. And there's a lot of tension between them because he has not gotten his beak wet in six months, you know. I was assumed he was uncircumcized, so it was more of a beak than a circumcised penis.

A big man's world. Is that what the big wins were all. Yeah, big surprise, right? Yeah, that's what Beakman placed in New York is named after a pianist. So, uh, buddy, he goes to fix the he gets hired to fix the fence at

Nicholas Cage's house. Uh, and Nicholas Cage is just kind of chuckling light in a cigar. Nicholas Cage always has a cigar either in this mouth or about to go in his mouth in this movie. Oh, boy. Yeah. And uh, it's the fence that the thief broke and Nicholas Cage they they they as a cigar either in this mouth or about to go in his mouth in this movie. Oh boy.

And it's the fence that the thief broke and Nicholas Cage, they, they, they banter over over how a Nicholas Cage is an ex-marine and buddy was in the Navy. And how much he's going to pay him for the fence if he can get it done today. And meanwhile, Nicholas Cage's wife, fancy, whose real name is, what do you remember what her, it was like Francine, something, something, but they call her fancy. I missed that part. And I gotta say, these two are totally giving off that like me and my wife saw you at

the end of the bar and we're like your vibe energy, you know, like the place cage has a button down, button down a little bit too far. And yeah, very, very, I guess explicit in her overtures. Right. I mean, they're constantly arguing with each other, Nicholas Casius wife, but in that way that it feels like maybe it's part of their sex game. It's a little more. It's a little more.

It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little's the South, you know, because it's Louisiana.

Who's who's afraid of Dr. John? That's the name of it. Oh, man, you're like who's out in that wall. Oh, where, where, see, what a dump. What movie is that from? I don't know. Anyway, so the, his wife is singing and wearing lingerie because it's the anniversary, but he forgot and she gets mad and slaps him and it's the anniversary, but he forgot.

And she gets mad and slaps him. And he's like, don't make me mad. And she goes, if you're a real man, you'd hurt me. And then he's like, she's like, you don't have the balls. So it's one of those relationships where it's not healthy. It's not a healthy relationship. Oh, okay. I'm saying, I guess a healthy marriage

is not built on threats and challenges. You know, like it is good for your spouse, your partner to your partner, to challenge you, to make you think new ways, to get you out of your comfort zones sometimes, but not to challenge you to hit them or like to show your real. That's why I would do. That's why I am still in love with my partner, the Dark Souls franchise. You're saying it does challenge you in the right ways? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That was such a beautiful ceremony when you and Dark Souls got married. Yeah.

You know, and the dancing. It had to be in Croatia. The only country where a video game in a person can get married. But, you know, that's gonna change with meta and everything. So. And I don't need to tell you guys,

but the wedding night was spectacular. Wait, why don't you need to tell me? I don't know where we're there. I don't know if you've come along. It's just screaming the whole thing. Yeah. It's screaming it. Speed running it.

I don't have to tell you because you watched my YouTube cut down of the night. But it was spectacular. So buddy is fixing the fans. The wife is drinking. The TV news talks about how there's a missing teen, which we know is that thief. There's a big storm coming. And you can tell that she has got her eye on buddy. She's got her mindset on him. And they have kind of kindergarten level flirting in a new window. Like, even a kid would be like, are you trying to just

talk about sex right now? Well, I love how like, how like aggressive she is's, he's not even like, he's not even really playing it dumb or anything. He's just like, what? Okay. Sure. Yeah. I mean, it's like not too far from the Pete date, like reoccurring Pete Davidson sketch on Saturday night live where he's just like a dumb guy who keeps getting flareded. We just like everything. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's a real, there's a real opening couple minutes to a porn video energy between the two of them. Yes. You know, there's not, not so, it's like not sexual tension so much as it is like making

an appointment for sex at some point later in the movie. Yeah. And fancy even says one point, I always love the calm before the storm. And it's like, come on, come on, movie. He hits his finger with a hammer because he distracted watching because he hates to see your love leave. But he loves to watch her go. He was watching her, her butt as she walks away. And he decides to take that moment to nail in the hammer. Yeah. Hammer in the nail. Like, you know, these are two things that can be done sequentially. You don't have to. Well, he's got to get that fence done today if he's going to make that money.

So he's got a multitask. I got to save these two seconds to not look at my hand. He's like, he's like, he needs to be like in the movies when they need to keep the collar on the lines. They can trace where the calls coming from. He's like, still downloading this image into, into Spank bank deposit, not finished. I was so close 99%. Anyway, she gives him a bandage. She kisses his thumb. Nicholas Cage walks in and it's tense. And he and fans he just keep trying to get a rise out of each other. This is going to happen the whole

movie. Nicholas Cage, he's drinking. He starts shooting beer bottles off the fence with a sniper rifle right off the roof right next to it where buddy is and buddy understandably gets mad. He's reported to OSHA. This is not a safe workplace if your boss is shooting beer bottles next to your head. You know, it reminds me of Dan, were you there? Was this during your time at the Daily Show where there was a dartboard set up next to my head above my desk. Where was this before you joined? I think by the time I got there, it was in that little alcove. It was by the emergency exit. It was my different jet that was constantly filled with chairs.

So such that the woman in charge of the space had to keep going back. Me like, you can't put these chairs here. Yeah, it's the fire eggs. Yeah, there's my then office partner, Sam Means, who's a great television writer. He loves British pub culture. So he wanted to get a dart board in our office, but I guess the only place to put it,

because his framed pictures run the other wall was on the wall next to where my head is. And so I would have to work while the other writers would come in and throw darts at the board. And I'm being a nice guy, so I just greeted my teeth and white knuckle it through my scripts.

Well, darts almost hit me in the head. And then when I moved to a different office and another writer took that room, she was like, this is not happening. And then moved the dart board to the emergency exit area. But it's a little bit like that. It's not safe. Sam is such a sweet, gentle man. It's, it's all, it's surprising to me to think about him, like not, not realizing the danger he's putting you in.

I think he just didn't think about it. He was just so excited about, about, about setting up that dartboard and making like a real, like the writer's offices and the movies and the TV shows, you know, there's games where people are throwing pencils at the ceiling. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, fun stuff like that. Yep.

So the storm is arriving, but he's barely done any work fixing the fence, which is ridiculous. He's been working on it all day. And Nicholas Cage is like, I'm not going to pay you. I told you to finish it in one day. And buddy wants to leave, but his truck won't start. Uh-oh. And we learned that we briefly haven't talked to Kelsey Grimm when we learned that he was a thief as a teen. He robbed a, he robbed a store.

And Kelsey Grimm was? No, no, no, no, no, buddy was. Kelsey Grimm was like, you must kill those people. You got arrested for robbing a store once when you were a kid. He's like, it's like, that seems like a big ramping up. But buddy goes back to the house. He says, Nicholas Cage gonna buy you a car and Nicholas Cage goes, no. He says, he says, you leave your truck here and you get to take my Mustang. I don't think so. He says, Nicholas Cage gonna buy your car and next to the cage goes, no. He says, he says, do you leave your truck here and you get to take my Mustang? I don't think so. He says get comfy. And buddy calls his wife who is justifiably annoyed that she's gonna have to ride out of Hurricane with a crying baby. Or husband is having a great time dealing with the violent sexual tension of this horrible couple. Guys, how would you, how would you

apologize to your wife over the phone for the fact that you're not there with her during a hurricane because you're busy being in like a great erotic thriller? I mean, I think at this point, uh, you know, at this point, I don't think he's done anything wrong. You know, he's just flirted a bunch nailed shit poorly. Oh, wow. Uh, I would be like, honey, I'm sorry. I've been caught in a web of deceit and seduction. I don't know how to get out of it. And like, I mean, granted, he knew when he put on that sleeveless shirt that he was going to be attracting some undue attention from this couple.

Yeah. I mean, I, you know, it's a difficult thing because obviously I understand, you know, not wanting to be alone with a sick baby in a hurricane, but also he, you know, not wanting to be alone with a sick baby in a hurricane, but, but also he, you know, he like Nicholas Cage has set him up. So to trap him here for a hurricane and there's not like, you know, he can't, he can't get to her safely. It's, you know, it's one of those situations where you enter into where like no one's totally right. You just gotta say you're sorry. So yeah, Dan, you're like the buddy in this, in this situation, right? I can see you as kind of that guy. He like, you're like a guy who's good at his hands say you're sorry. So yeah, Dan, you're like the buddy in this in this situation, right? I can see you as kind of that guy. You like you like a guy who's good at this hands and

you're just helping out and then you get you get a tractor swandled into some kind of or not home or a rod. Well, maybe I mean, I mean, there's a little bit of that, I think. I see myself more a stewards the buddy. I'm probably what a Kelsey grammar and I think in dance. I got to tell you, if I was in buddy's position, I'd probably be the same dumb shit. So buddy joins them for dinner of meatloaf and fancy, not the singer, but eating the food. And it's not like Rocky Horror where the, and fancy, he, he tells us, she tells us story about how she and Nicholas Cage met, she and Walter Met. And she actually has a line, he was in the luring mix of strength, courage and hope,

which is like, don't read the stage directions. Come on, what are you doing? And they're, they keep hinting at like a secret backstory that the movie never really quite digs out. There's lots of tension and Nicholas Cage is equal or the prequel. Yeah. The, the, the free, the free, the free, the, the, Walter accuses buddy of wanting to have sex with his wife and she's being all sultry. And this, there's a moment here where Nicholas makes that amazing line. That's where he says that amazing line.

Nicholas Cage cannot even believe the words coming out of his mouth. He's like, he like spits the words out as if he's like, I got to get these out quick. My brain will stop me from saying them. Or if he puts a big enough pause between cock and suck, there won't be a lot of the sensors. Like, maybe it'll sound like two different thoughts and, and the people at, at stage and practices won't stop me.

You're, you're allowed one non-sexual cock in, in your movies. And that's how they got that G rating. That's why the son, Disney Plus. So, and then he gets up from

his chair so amazingly loudly. And I don't know if you guys, if this struck you guys, but he gets up from his chair super fast and the chair almost sounds like it's cracking to pieces under the force of him wanting to escape this scene so badly. Nicholas Cage passes out in front of the TV. Fancy briefly shows Buddy around the house. They see the basement door has multiple locks on it and she teases him that they're very

bad things down there. And then they go to her favorite room, which is full of weird little dolls. And normally when I find a creepy Southern Gothic house that has a door to the basement with a shit little locks, I'm like, okay, I'm going to have to go through all these fucking puzzles to find all this shit so I can open it. Then I'll have a fucking boss fight or something. Yeah, I just look, I watch this movie, you know, you know, I think we all often for the flop house end up watching these movies and segments, not like super frequently for me, but always every single time for me. Yeah, if it's not a live show, I watched it in segments.

This one I watched the first half last night and the second half this morning. And I just now remember the scene we're about to get to and I'm so excited. Well, maybe I want you to talk about this. So on this one, she changes to a screen. She's talking about how hot it is because of course it's the South. And she's becoming the old lady who likes 1010. And she, so she says she's barren. She can't have children and starts telling him about her fantasy

of having sex with a younger man. And she keeps, she's sitting next to him and she's like, anyway, then he would kiss my breast. Should I keep going? And he's like, oh yeah, okay. And he's like, then he'd kiss my stomach. Then down my leg, Should I keep going? He's like, okay.

And she's like, and what is she doing? She's like running it her hands on his leg or something like that. It all happens. It's happening at such a glacial pace. But I appreciate that she's asking his consent every time. Every time it's going to be. So if I recall correctly, then what happens next is that like, you know, he gets spooked. He realizes, maybe I shouldn't cheat on my wife.

He like gets up. He trips onto the ground. And he trips because he all the blood that's normally in his head had rushed to his engorged boner. So he got one head immediately. Yeah, yeah. A sense of balance was totally thrown off. I how much yeah much How much

So Nicholas Cage hears this you know this wakes him up downstairs. He very slowly walks upstairs Very slowly ends up like the South baby stand like being behind the door meanwhile like our hero, I guess, we can call him, is on the ground. And fancy puts her stiletto gold stiletto heels for gold stiletto heel on his crotch. And at first I was like, is she going to do some like crushing action here? Is that his? Is that her? Is she going to stop on those testies? But no, what happened?

Dan doesn't say that I can win. Yeah. What happens is the stiletto tip, like she puts it underneath his button on his pants. She flips her leg up with such force that the button flies. And now he's wearing denim jeans. She's able to pop the button off of the jeans. Genuinely hot. Genuinely hot, that was amazing.

And like the button flies, so it's almost under the doorway. So Nicholas Cage could see it. Nicholas Cage, she's like lingering outside the door, but not opening the door ever. No, no. And she managed, she also, like, she managed to open his fly with her stiletto heel. Amazing.

It's a great scene. She didn't want the Academy Award for scenes that year. The Academy Award for most improbable sexiness. There's like, there's no, none of this makes any, like how, just imagining the physics involved in the leverage she would need to tear the button off of a pair of jeans with her to heal. Yeah, I'm sure you guys are just using just her ankle just just her ankle strength. I was watching this on the couch and I had to take one of those catch cushions and put it

over my crush. And I made a point now to stand up too quickly or else I would have fallen over. Yeah. The end of the day. This was this was a moment. Yeah. The end of the day. This was a moment. Yeah, this moment, it was like, it really felt, I mean, we've said this before for other movies where like an alien doesn't really know how humans do things and they're trying to

like what an alien is like, what is sexy? Well, I think this would do it. This is a male. I heal sexy and I heal her sexy. And like popping off of things,. I guess crutches are sexy. And so what he would like unzip unsuperpare face with the heal of a shoe is yeah, anyway, they don't get caught. Nicholas Cage like the mummy just wanders through the hallways and and lenders outside and then and then walks away. Buddy's sleeping on the couch.

All curled up like a little baby. The storm wakes him up. Uh oh, Nicholas Cage is sitting there with a gun. He takes him to the attic. They talk about death and gratitude. Nicholas Cage talks about how, when he was in Vietnam, he got injured in a friendly fire grenade accident,

which meant he didn't get to go in country with his squad and they were all wiped out. And ever since then, he's always regretted either not saving them or not dying with them. And Buddy talks about his experience as a sailor on the real ship, the USS Stark, which was attacked by an Iraqi fighter jet in 1987

and how his best friend was on the ship with him and he tried to save him and he couldn't, and he died. And Nicholas Cage throws a bag with $20,000 in cash in on the floor and says, Hey, fancy has cancer. Can you kill her so she doesn't die slowly cancer? Here's some cyanide. Just get her to drink it, I guess.

And you can do it. And you can do it. And stuff in her face. Yeah. He does a great move that I actually missed. And Audrey made me rewind to see. And I don't regret spinning an extra minute and grandile to see this where she's like, put it on.

Huh? Huh? Huh? He like does a little like all my mind. Mine of all three steps. But um, and and and buddy takes almost no time in being like, okay. Yeah, this is a part of the movie where I'm like, all right, hold on, movie. I'll buy this popping off of the button with the high heels, but so this guy, Nicholas Cady, all by that buddy's jeans are so worn in that that button is barely attached. The thread is worn through. They can just pop that thing off of that anyway. That denim is stretched so tightly that just slightly shift well.

Yeah, that's what's going on. Yeah, because he's so aroused. Yeah, but like, but the idea that Nick Cage who has been nothing but like, nothing but Trump, the ligerent to this man, like just like awful to him the whole time is gonna try and convince him to kill his wife, like claiming that she's sick.

And the guy is gonna immediately be like, yeah, sure, rather than being like, can I talk to her about whether she's sick or you also seem like an asshole, what's going on here? I mean, he saw those stacks, dude. He saw the 20 grand in the bag. I mean, he needs that money.

And also, at this point, he's probably just wants to get out of that house. What do I need to say to get out of this house also at this point, he's probably just wants to get out of that house. Yeah. What do I need to say to get out of this house? It is implied that he's mostly just like trying to play along with whatever happens because he's freaked out, but it is not particularly, I don't know. I think the guy drinks from whatever. I think the pants button he can buy with that 20 grand.

He's like, well, I do need some money to repair my pants. So thank you. Yeah. I, denim, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, It's a protest song about lynching. Like it's not a sexy song. It was a very upsetting choice. And also like she explains the history of it briefly. And then the movie continues. And it's like, why did you think this was a point you needed to make movie? I mean, not about race relations in any way. No, it definitely de-sexifies the moment quite a bit.

Which is maybe what they wanted. Maybe the movie was in danger of getting too sexy. They're like, we're in the red zone, we're in the red zone. But, remind everybody about America's violent history of racial injustice. Okay, good. We might have a blowout if you're saying the red zone. We don't want the audience members genitalia to just explode from the pent-up passion that they're viewing.

All those butt-hopping off. They talk about their childhoods and she talks about how sad she is and then they start kissing back to the interrogation room. He, he, he, uh, Kelsa Gramers like, you started doing what, what were you thinking? I'm making, making love to this woman man's wife and he's right there. And he was like, look, I felt like I had to hit them against each other to survive. And I was like, that's not, you would say, hit them against each other, right? Like not, where he says hitting them against each other.

Anyway, he says, he means to say, pitting, but he says, no way way. So, I like, like, listening to that, I'm like, okay, Kelsey Gramber, what is making you mad in this scenario? Is it the murder? Is it the fact that you committed adultery? Or is it the fact that you, this guy committed adultery while Nicholas Cage was around?

Because it seems like that's the part that like bother him. Why does it have to be one or the other? I think it's like, I guess the grammar is a church going man as he says. It could be any of those things. It's true. Yeah. So you're doing a adultery wrong. You stack it up them sins.

We try and reshoot the moon with commandments. Now, so the backsy, so back to, we realize that interrogation scene is just there so that they don't have to show the sex scene. Can we come back and they're lying on the ground in a post coil embrace, but in fancy. It's kind of weird because like, I didn't get the vibe that this was a, the kind of situation that wouldn't necessitate a cuddle afterwards. I mean, the fact he was giving big, big, cutler energy afterwards. You know, and they're so little,

they're so little, they're so little sexual chemistry between them, that the fact that they're having sex at all feels so like pro forma for both of them. Yes. Just feels like this is what we're supposed to do at this part of the movie, I guess. So yeah, the fact that they're like hugging when they get sick is giving a lot and he's not given much. Yeah, that's true.

Maybe he's just not that into her. Yeah. Yeah, well, we know what he's just not that into her. Yeah. Yeah, well, we know what we can tell that fancy is not great at picking guys because look at who she ended up with, Walter. So maybe fans, although we'll later find out that fancy is a monster. So I guess, so maybe I shouldn't sympathize with her at this point. But you know, maybe she just needs the right partner or perhaps she just needs some time by herself to find out who she is.

Because if you don't love yourself, no one's gonna love you for every reason. Yeah, if only she'd heard that before she started walking down this terrifying path. Yeah, this lonely road, the only road that she's ever known. She goes, yeah. Yeah, so she finds the poison, the cyanide that Walter gave him,

I guess just kind of rolled out. He was a very careful that cyanide, yeah. And she's like, I don't have cancer. And he's like, oh, your husband said I should kill you. And she seems kind of unfazed. She's just like, yeah, I'll handle that. And Nicholas Cage is, he's got full on crazy face at this point. But he's also, he's hammering wood onto the windows in the in on the inside for the storm

But he's like and I maybe this is how you do it instead of hammering the boards on individually He has big pre-made wooden board screens that he is holding up to the window and then hitting and then nailing in that way Is that how you do it when there's a hurricane coming? I mean, I think in places that the deal with regular when there's a hurricane coming. I mean, I think in places that the deal with the hurricane. Okay, because I was I did not knowing it. I wasn't sure if it was just a prop thing that we weren't supposed to see was one big

piece or if that's actually how you do it. If that's how you do it, then Walter, I apologize for doubting you. Anyway, she comes over in sweet socks and which is just a preamble to stabbing him in the hand. That's great. They get into a fight. He tries to force Buddy to poison her at gunpoint, then he ends up fighting with Buddy. Buddy punches him a lot really hard in the face.

These are big wet punches and the storm has gotten so bad now. Buddy ties up Nicholas Cage and he's like, I want to leave and Fancy's like, take me with you. I want to get out of here. And Nicholas Cage is like, mmm, she's got a secret. Why don't you tell him your secret, fancy? So like Nicholas Cage has been stabbed, beat up, and like tied to a banister. And then fancy is all up on buddy.

And she's like, fuck me again, make me come in front of him. Yeah. She has to say exactly what she says. She's like, I feel like at this point, it's the, it's the, this is the, this is the point I didn't improv scene where the game has been lost. And no one's quite, and no one's run across the stage to end the scene yet. So they're just going to try to figure out where to go with it next. So Nicholas Cage is like, she's got a dark secret and just fancy. He's like,

uh, let's, let's do it right here. And buddy's like, I just want to get paid for this fence. Like, none of them can agree on what the premise is. I don't care about the secret. I just want to. Which to be fair, if I was him, there's no reason why he should care about that secret. Just get out of there. I don't know. And we all know Dan being naturally curious by nature would be very interesting.

I mean, I'm curious about the secret, but that's because I'm watching a movie where it's so clear that there's going to be a secret that's sort of real at some point. Yes. So I want him to stay. But if Nicholas Cage wanted to like, you know, yeah, trap him with the secret, you could have brought the secret

up a little earlier. Like, no life I ever need to trap Dan. I just put on a BHS copy of Secrets of the Mass Magician and Dan. I'm so drawn to secrets. Oh, director Skinner. Stop the magician's guild is going to take you out. So the, the, so the now they're just trying things to keep them there for some reason.

Because then Nicholas cage is like, Hey, if you, you should kill me now or else I'll kill your whole family. I'll come for you. But you should first see what's in that basement. And fancy's like, don't go into the basement. And it's, I'm like, just want out of the house. Yeah, exactly. Like, like, buddy, just, just, buddy, just leave.

Instead, buddy goes down the basement and let me just say real quick that, uh, uh, fancy shoots at him. The power goes out because the storm and he runs and she untyes Nicholas Cage and she's like, laying in a little thick with the secrets. And he's like, did you have to stab me so much? And it's like a, they, at that point, the movie is not even pretending that this is not like some game they've set up. Yeah.

Except for none of that makes sense once everything's revealed. Like that's true. There's no like meta game that appears to have been playing in that way. Like the only thing I can think of is at that point, they have to work together because they'll be implicated together in what is eventually revealed. I mean, it's really, that's really on Walter for giving buddy the idea of going into the basement. Exactly. You know, out of this part makes any sense.

Although I guess they're, they he's hoping we'll get him into the basement. We'll trap him in there just like we've trapped other people, spoiler hurt because buddy finds the thief from being in the movie. He's like got an IV in him that's I guess keeping him sedated. He's all weak and the thief is like, there's more like me in here. There's some kind of kidnapping dungeon in the in the basement of house. There's a lot of fighting and running around the house. They buddy goes up to the attic for some reason and and fight Snicklaus Cage there. Fancy knocks out

buddy. Buddy wakes up in his truck covered in blood and the thief's body is there and the police show up. They arrest him. He's being interrogated for the murder of the thief and not James Conn, not any other thieves from the many great thieves of movie making. It's not a complot of them, but it's not Riffie feed, not Robin Hood. It's not our scene loopan or even loopan the third. None of these characters, none of these famous thieves. It's not Raffles, the gentleman thief. It's not catwoman or any of the other any other great super villain Thebes you know yeah, ocean None of it none of these great thieves none of them. Yeah, it's not the guys from going out in style It's it's not the silent

Heartland just a Santa Claus. It's not a thing just like us. It's not it's not they live by night It's not any of those yeah, or they drive by night. It's not any of those, yeah. Or they drive by night. I can't, I know the drive man is about truckers. So it's not, it's not any of these things. So I buy a truck. It's, and it's not someone from Thebes. It's not Edefus. It's not, you know, none of that stuff.

So, yeah, so the police, and this, and this is when, and this is when, uh, when Buddy is like, I want my, my phone called my lawyer and, and Coastal Grimer is like, where you think you are? You're a grander! Oh!

Yes! Well, and I would have rejected this scene here too, because this is where Kelsey Grammell, look, we all know that like there are like shitty cops everywhere and particularly like one is happy to believe or not happy to believe, but we'll believe in some small backwater place like there's a guy who's going to railroad you for a crime that you didn't commit. Like I'm not saying that that is that is anyway unbelievable, but the way that Kelsey Graham, are you alienating our small but loyal fan base of small town corrupt detective?

Yeah, I think. I'm just saying that like the way that they're a minority of listeners with a very vocal minority, those those corrupt small town detectives. Yeah, I'm just I'm saying that sure it's believable that someone might get railroaded for a crime they didn't commit. The way that Kelsey Graham is doing it, like seems so half-assed for the amount that he seems to actually believe at himself because he's like, I believe that what happened is you went out and you had sick with this man's wife. And then you, because you're a violent veteran, you found this unrelated man and you

killed him. And I have no motive for this. And there's nothing linking you to the crime other than you woke up, beaten next to the body. But there's no other physical evidence or a murder weapon or anything. What gets me, Dan, is that is that he seems to believe the whole story. But he's telling, yeah, that's like, it's like, there's only evidence of that body and trust. It's a Kelsey grammar could say, this is all bullshit. You know, there's no fancy.

I mean, he was no fancy. He would say bullshit. He'd say like hog swallowing or something. Yeah, that's true. Like, this is, there's a lot of honey butter going on this turn house. Like, that's what you'd say. It's something like that. And then, but like, he's like, okay, I buy your story until the part where you say you

didn't kill this guy, but everything up till then, yes, that's God's honest. That's so fast. But you get to the part where you look at yourself in a moiter. I just don't know. I just don't know. It's so sad. I believe everything you said except for at the end, you are the killer. Oh, man, you got it. You got me, but you did get me with the wrong way.

I mean, I see your math, but it's the wrong math. But if right here, the right answer is somehow, anyway, you're rich. I'm not charges. I'll tell you the story. Oh, man, if only the fucking test audience has it felt that way by usual suspects that they have just a recipe at the end. Like he like gets into, he gets into a limb, like a car and there's somebody there slapping a cup of something.

He gave the driver Pete Postowate turns around and puts a gun in his face and goes, you're under arrest. I was undercover all this time. Yeah, it's a there must be I guarantee a studio executive at one point was like, why doesn't it end with you? Why don't you then show a scene of him getting stopped getting on a plane or something and they and they throw him in jail, you know, happy endings. Grandile, though, to get to return to the movie that we're talking about this. You mean grandile. This as soon as they lead, you know, I was

just an aisle and then my kids have kids now my grandile. As soon as they lead, you know, I was just an aisle and then my kids have kids now my grand aisle. As soon as they leave the flashback portion of the movie, which by the way, Audrey pointed out that everything that we're seeing earlier in the movie is essentially the flashback although there are plenty of scenes where Buddy was not in the room. So I don't know when he's telling Kelsey grammar those times, but it is got to show. It's a story. Yeah, that buddy, buddy was, maybe anybody's like, oh, in this part, I was hiding in a closet. So I heard this part. Or, yeah, but it's a bit, I was in the bathroom,

but there I could hear some event when they were plotting against me, you know, as soon as the, as the flashback ends and we enter, uh. The movie, let's call it. The movie, which has been shaky, but enjoyable, until this point really flies off the rails. This is the part where. Now, the movie has been, I'll give it this, I did not like this movie, but I think it was the ever-greatest sense of grime and moral corruption of the universe that it was pouring onto me. But it's still going to wait for you to carry, Elliot, but I'm glad you did it.

It is. But boy, I'm going to carry that way at a long time. And so, the, that, that this point, it's been a pretty tight movie up till now. Minimal locations, minimal characters. Yeah, this is when the movie is like, we kind of don't know what happens next movie. Yeah. And it reminds me of, there's the story that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have told about how they wrote like 40 different endings for good will hunting, because they weren't quite sure what to do with it. And so they had an ending where Ben Affleck's character gets killed in a work accident. They had a character, then ending where Rob Williams

characters somehow becomes a construction form and becomes their boss. Like, they really didn't know according to them what they were doing. And it feels like that's what happened with this movie where they were like, uh, we have 10 different endings. Let's just pick one. Yeah. Because the movie it kind of runs, it goes through the, it runs in place for a while. They send buddies wife in for a scene that doesn't really mean anything other than she's

mad at him. And Kelsey Grammer's partner sees something in an old missing person's case file that reminds her of something buddy said they go to Nicholas Cage's house and Nicholas and Walter and fancy just kind of stand around while the cops one by one go into the basement. I guess disappear for a moment. And then I got some mad too. Cause like the woman who makes the connection and like leaves one cop behind to watch them. And he said, and he's like, and she says, like, you know, stay on them. And he just like keeps like ducking his head to like look at something in the

hall, which like it's not even clear what it is. He has literally one job, which is to keep it at these people. Is it easily distracted cop? They find a kidnap woman in the basement. And there's something about they say something about how they wanted to expand their family. And and Walter has an amazing getting away from a cop line. He goes, my cat's up a tree. Can you shoot him down? And he goes, what? Is that my cat's up a tree? Shoot him down. And he punches him. Quite reasonably. Quite reasonably. The police officer says, what? But it's such a funny. And that, that I believe is, I mean, I would believe that as an ad-lived Nicholas

cage line that they were like, just say something to destroy the gun. Okay, my cats have a tree. Can you shoot them down? And so Nicholas Cage escapes. Fancy is caught. Buddy is released, but his wife leaves him. Time passes as represented by a radio news story.

We have a scene where Buddy wakes up in the middle of the night because he thought he heard something. He walks around and then he goes back to bed. It is, the movie is like, if we keep making scenes, something will happen. Like, eventually something will happen. And it does because Buddy is, he's at the diner. And we hear on the radio that Walter has is on the loose. Buddy, they found all these, all these missing teens were found in the basement of this house. Yeah. Buddy's at the diner. And Walter shows up shaved. After this point. He's had a headlong

hair and a long beard shaved and in his marines uniform, which I know from seeing Con air that as soon as you see Nicholas Cage in a fucking uniform, shit's about to go down. You're like Captain Carelli, watch out that mandolin is sharp. It will cut you. Is that what happens? Is he get cut by a man by mandolin is sharp. It will cut you. Is that what happens? Is he get cut by a man by mandolin? By his mainland. Yeah. I'm assuming I haven't seen it. I'm assuming it's a like no, it's like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. I mean, like, I mean, it's a man, Lynn super useful to have in the kitchen. You just have to wear like a shame male gauntlet to fucking use it, right? No, but a manly is also like a little, like a, it's like a little guitar. I think that's what he has, but I've never seen the movie. It's on a little guitar. I mean, you do just

musher through the strings. Yeah. It's like something that like, I think, I think in one of the martial arts movies, they cut something by putting it through The strings of the of Harpo's harp like they can it's like that, you know That's how they think the mandolin so anyway He has buddies wife at gunpoint and he's like playing mind games with buddy And he's it the whole part doesn't really make it He's like I thought I found another brother in arms, but you're really a coward and buddy admits that when his ship got attacked He left his friend to die. He didn't really try to save him. He gets buddy at gunpoint and the cops show up and Walter's like, release fancy. And they're like, we can't and Kelsey grammar shows up. And I was like, oh,

Kelsey grammar went to a second location, but it's movie like this. They made me, they put him up for a night in a hotel. And he goes, she's in a lockdown mental institution. I can't release her. And Walter is like, the system was unfair to me and my Marines. We came back and we got called names and spat on and I'm like movie. What movie did you turn into? This is not the movie you started as and Kelsey Graham was like, hell, we could settle this. Like we can have over a beer. We could all we can just talk over a beer. I'm like, Kelsey, Cramber, you have not met this character. I tell this boy in the movie. He's trying.

I think he's low key trying to sell that fucking Yankee beer that Kelsey Grammar's been hawking and upstate New York lately. I think he is trying to de-escalate the situation, but also it's never clear to me how well known Walter and fancy are in this town. I'm not sure how big a town it is whether everyone knows everybody or whether they are weirdos because the way he talks to him is as if he knows who he is already. And if he's in the house and fancy came from money, I think. So, but anyway, Walter, he draws his guns on the cops that they'll kill him.

Although he seems very surprised when he's dying. Like, he thought it would go a different way. I guess he thought he'd just keep killing until there was no one left on earth and the dead with the hell would be two full of the dead and they'd have to come back. Kelsey Granger's beer is called faith American, by the way. Faith American. And what is it? Is there description of the flavor?

What is it? It's an IPA, is it loggers, is it stout? It's a, that's the brewing company. I think they do the faith American ale. I'm guessing it tastes probably super boring and not very interested. Yeah. There was that commercial that was going around online

recently where it's like two minutes long and it seems of Reagan and Bush and stuff and like I'm the American military and we're under attack and that just ends and it's an ad for a wine that just has a Republican elephant on the label of the bottle. And it was like, wow, there's a lot of buildup, just this wine that was called like freedom wine or something. But anyway.

Is that freedom wine? Then turn it up, man. And then... But... Oh, a little level of commercial. It was back when you get slapped freedom in front of things. And it wasn't any way political or fuller situation. Because they're clearly hippies.

Clearly hippies, yeah. Well, I guess there wasn't there wasn't time when freedom was about being like a beat. Well, you'd say, hey, we're for nothing left to lose. Yeah, you're a hippie rather than a fascist. But anyway, so the scourge of Walter has ended, buddy reunites with his family, they say, I'll take it one day at a time. And then there's this final Coda, which is baffling, where the news is announcing over, and it puts, it leaves such a bad taste.

The news is about clarifying the twist of the movie that the movie is not like ineptly deployed earlier. It's like, the movie is like, oh, wait, we forgot to explain what was going on in the movie. So the news, so intercut with shots of fancy, like locking doors and yelling or whatever, it says how Walter and fancy were kidnapping teen girls, which we got to expand their family and forcing them to have babies, which for years, which is horrifying.

Like this is just a horrifying thing for them to suddenly throw into the last 30 seconds of the movie. Like it's, and it's where the movie, I'm like of the movie. And it's, and it's where the movie, I'm like, and this is what it's, and this is when I was like, this is what it's like to see a grind house movie, because a grind house movie would be like, hey, you know what, we don't care. We're just throwing the worst thing. Like there's, we're totally tasteless, you know, totally tasteless. The news anchor, like, not, it's just like something you don't usually see in one of these things

in a movie where like the news anchor clarifies. The news anchor's also like editorializing too. Like, I guess it goes to show you never know who your neighbors are. And I'm like, movie, like you're trying to add these couple of morals at the end about like not knowing your neighbors and also the way America treats its veterans and the either of them seems to be of a piece with the rest of the film. It's so, it like the last, the ending of it feels like a contractual obligation for

either Nicholas Cage or Kelsey Grammer that they had to have some point that they were making that's like their personal bugaboo, you know. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can you, I just want to make sure everyone knows that kidnapping and forced pregnancy is super yucky. And also we should take care of our veterans.

Anyway, grand dial, everyone, goodnight folks. And it's like, it's such, it's one of the few times I've seen a movie where I'm at the end. I'm like, wait, did they forget what movie they were making? And they started making another move. Like a very special episode of grand island. They picked up the last 20 pages of a different script and they were like, just use that shove it in, change the names of the characters because it's, oh, anyway, we'll go to final judgments, but this movie suffice it to say I did not walk out a fan.

Yeah. So what do we do now in the podcast? What we do now is we do final judgments, whether this was a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie kind of like. I'm gonna say that this is like an interesting split where I would say the first two thirds of this movie is a movie I kind of like, where maybe it's not the most skillful example of this type of movie, but I have a real soft spot for like web of sexual intrigue, sweaty,

southern Gothic thriller, film noir, like that gumbo as you put it earlier. I mean, it is, it is very serenity in a lot of ways. Yeah, I find that stuff very enjoyable, even if it's not done at its highest level and Nicholas Cage is having a lot of fun and Katie Strickland's having a lot of fun too. Yeah, they're both like swinging for the fences. Yeah. And then I will say that for sure. They are, they are just hurling benches and and and and and and and and crocodile meat all over the, or alligator meat all over the screen. Yeah. And and the last third of the movie

I would say for me was a good bad movie. There's a lot of distasteful stuff as the Elliott says, but if you know you're able to approach it as just some dumb movie like it becomes so silly at that point that like I still enjoyed it, but what do you guys have to say? No, I mean, I think you're right on the mind there, Dan, like it's that sort of thing where it's like so over the top gr- the- the ending reveal to us is so over the top gross that it's- it becomes funny because it's so like- it's so ridiculous and horrible and like, why do they do this? No, thank you. Yeah, I wish I could- I wish I could, I could like lose myself in it the way you guys have. I, I, it was a bad bad movie for me because it was like, it was,

it was one of those things where like, and I'm, I'm, I'll watch lots of unpleasant movies. I'm happy with a movie that delves into, you know, the horrible aspects of humanity as long as it's not just kind of like drizzling it on like with one of those sauce squirt things that use in fancy restaurants, you know, where they're like, oh, we'll put like a swirl of this of this of this. Raspberry reduction. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. You can't add, you can't add forced impregnation as a Raspberry reduction at the end. So it's it, I felt like the whole movie, I was like, oh, this movie. And then at the end, it was like,

the movie was poking me in the eye. Like the movie was like, look at all this bad stuff and then I'll poke you in the eye for so I'm saying bad bad. Hey, Dan, what was that movie that came out that had the blonde guy home aloneing those kids who broke into his house? Don't breathe. Yeah, don't watch that one either, L.A.,

that's also got some force pregnancy gross in it. What, I mean, if it's a good movie and the movie is going towards a, like, that kind of horror, I could probably accept it. It's just like the fact that they just kind of throw it in. It's through it. It's like there's a scene in the book of Blood Meridian where they go to this horrible place and there and it says like, oh yeah, there's a 12 year old girl chained to a fence post, a chain to a stake like an animal. And I was like, I don't like that. As just a detail, you're going to throw in like just to just to just to show me how super cool extreme badass this place is. I mean, I mean, he's not trying to show it as badass. It's very show it as a horrible place. But it's just.

Cormac, you're sitting there with a sunglasses stare that is facing the rain. We're in a weathered double. Cormac, McCarthy, and Garth Ann Annister just hanging around talking about how they can how they can make things real fucked up in their stories. Yeah, we got a couple of Chris Gaines on our hands. But it does is the cat went to I feel like when something is when you're going to put that one when you get to put something that distasteful and and real world horrifying and it's just hard for me to accept it as like the

sprinkling at the end. Like, did I forget to put some paprika on this? Oh, yeah, yeah, and I'll put some some forced impregnation also. But so anyway, so I'll say, yeah, you know what great, great movie. Just love the idea of core man, but car they'd be like looking at his screen like to have this shit be like, Oh man, that's fucked up. I went this one, this one blows some minds. I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went,

I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went He sends the band boom pow comics aren't for kids anymore. Thanks to core man for car.

The mature readers only and he sends it to his publisher with a note that's like dear editor. Watch out. This one gets a little forked off. I was listening to a lot of slipknot. Well, I was writing this one. Well, it seems like the only thing we can do is Not one is right in this one. Well, it seems like the only thing we can do is to thank our sponsors.

Now I'm editing Kormack with Carmack or Carly shopping at Hot Top. Max back, baby. Kormack more like Gore Mac. This is gonna get bloody But let's take a moment and thank now what if what if instead of Mac tonight being a giant moonheaded guy It was it was core Mac tonight. There's Kormack McCarthy pitching McDonald's food for more sophisticated adult audience Yeah, but it's all the pretty person But a fucked up audience right? Hey, hope you can handle these burgers. Cause they're kind of wicked.

Okay. Okay. Hey there, beautiful people. I'm Trevell Anderson. And I'm Jared Hill. We are the hosts of Fanty, the show where we have complex and complicated conversations

about the gray areas in our lives, the things that we really, really love sometimes, but also have some problematic feelings about. Yes, we get into it all. You want to know our thoughts about Nicki Minaj and all her

foolishness? We got you. You want to know our thoughts about gentrification and perhaps some positive question mark. Aspects of gentrification, we get into that too. Every single Thursday you can check us out at maximumfund.org.

Listen, you know you won it, honey. So come on and get it. Period. Hi, my name is Graham Clark, and I'm one half of the podcast stop podcasting yourself. I show that we've recorded for many, many years and at the moment, instead of being in person, we're recording remotely and you wouldn't even notice. You don't even notice the lag. That's right, Graham. And the great thing about it, go ahead.

No, you go ahead. Okay. Go ahead. You can listen to us every week on MaximumFun.org. Or wherever you get your podcasts. Your podcasts. The Plubhouse is sponsored in part by Squarespace. It's the service that helps you turn your cool idea into a new website, blog or publish content, sell products and services, all kinds, and much, much more. And they help you do this by giving you templates created by

world-class designers, make it all look nice for you with everything optimized for mobile right out of the blocks, right out of the blocks. Right out of the blocks. Yeah, boxes like a block, I guess. Yeah, he's right. Cubular totally. Yeah, they're both, they're both codally cumular, Dan.

Everything optimized for mobile right out of the box. A new way to buy domains and choose from over 200 extensions, free and secure hosting, much more. Hey, go to squarespace.com slash flop for free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code flop that's F-L-O-P to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey, Dan, an idea for a website. Anyway, it's called, it's called coremactonels.com. And it's a fest.

It's, and we've got our no country for old meat. Yeah, we've got, we've got all sorts of stuff. Anyway, you know those big nuggets, characters that we're singing and dancing, doing shit. Now you're about to eat those guys. Isn't that fucked up? Yeah. Oh, and they're all just like killing people. I mean, those fried guys kind of look like the hair haircut that anti-inshakura. Yeah,

yeah, they're all, yeah, the fried guys just walking around with with those cattle piston guns just and the hamburger. He stole from the wrong dudes and now they're out to get him, you know, and he's like, grimace, grimace, you got to hide me, but grimace's throat has already been cut. Oh no, it's terrible. This podcast. What's the bird's name? She's like, grimace, grimace, you got to hide me, but grimace's throat has already been cut. Oh no, it's terrible. Um, this podcast, what's the bird's name? She's like the ultra assassin that gets sent after him. Birdie name is just birdie. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Um, this podcast is also sponsoring part by now, Dan. Now, okay, I've got a different author McDonald's mashup. What instead of Ronald McDonald, it was Roald McDonald McDonald's and it's Roald doll, but with the power of McDonald's. So what at the BFG is the big fries giant, that kind of stuff, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Obviously, Willy Wonka would have a burger factory in this scenario. So Dan, who's next on the sponsors? The next sponsor is BetterHelp Online Therapy. We talk about Better Help a lot

on the show and this month we're discussing some of the stigmas around mental health. For example, some people think you should wait until things are unbearable to go to therapy, but that's not true therapy is a tool you can use before things think it's getting worse to sort of give you the coping mechanisms that will help you when things get bad. You know, help you process and deal with your emotions in a healthy way so you can avoid the lowest lows. You know, you're never going to be happy all the time, but what you can do is learn how to deal with and even appreciate your bad feelings, you know, understand how they're part of you. It's all stuff that therapy can help with,

and better help is customize online therapy, offering video for phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So if you don't want to see people on camera, you don't have to. It can be even more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used better help online therapy. This podcast is sponsored by them. And the Flop House listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash flop. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash flop. I believe you all have some jumbo trunks.

Jojo jumbo trunks. I'm going to go first. Oh, okay. No, Elliot, you go first. No, no, go first, too. Go for it. Oh, really? For sure? Okay, I'm gonna go. Yeah. This message is for the original peaches. That's us.

The messages from perpetually flopping in Portland. I became a new listener in 2021, and per Spotify's wrapped. I've listened to 30,207 minutes of the flop house this year. Boys. Wow. That's 21 straight days of hearing your angelic spirits slowly dying over 14 years. For the amount of genuine joy you've brought me in a bad year, the least I could do was

snag a tron to sincerely thank you with all my heart. Thank you. So thank you, perpetually flopping in Portland. That's a lot of time. I also like to celebrate with Tron. Uh-huh. He does.

He likes to celebrate with Tron. He likes to celebrate because of Tron. It happens sometimes lasers to shoot off your ding dong. And he does get stuck in an arcade game and, you know, it makes it hard, right? Well, depending if that's in your int, if that's what you're into, it certainly does. Anyway, our other jumbo tron is for Nick and it's from Derek and Derek says to Nick, welcome to your 30s kid. Hard to believe it's already been a decade since he were turning 20 and just starting to

find your calling. A lot has changed in the world in our lives since then. Why not the love and pride I have for you. I'm so proud of you, the things you've achieved, and the things you're going to achieve. Love you and see you soon. What a sweet, wonderful message. That's incredible. That's incredible.

I love it when people have nice things to say to each other. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That's better than the last one. Now what do we do on this pop up hot cast. Danny boy, let's move on to letters from listeners. You write them.

We read them. That's the order of events. This one is that's how it works. Man, the last thing with held. It's titled help a cluelueless Mom Learn About Comics, three exclamation points. Hello. I'm looking to start.

Give us each exclamation point individually. Please. Hello exclamation point. I'm looking to start my eight year old son reading comics. He loves superheroes and drawing, and I think he'd really enjoy reading comics. I went online and wow exclamation point online and wow, exclamation point. It's overwhelming exclamation point.

I never read comics as a kid and have no idea where to start exclamation point. My question is, what comics would you recommend for an eight year old? Like where do I start? Thanks for any recommendations, exclamation point. I love the podcast exclamation point. You guys make me laugh every week exclamation point. I love the podcast exclamation point. You guys make me laugh every week exclamation point.

Well, you know, I kind of found my way into comics through through Donald Duck comics and Uncle Scrooge comics and old reprints of easy horror comics. And the only superhero comics I would read were the ones that my brothers, if Jack Davis, have you recommending easy

horror comics to an eight year old, he would beat your ass. But, uh, but I think you guys would have. Well, Jack Davis isn't here. Go for it, Dan. Oh, wow. I guess you guys would be better qualified to, I mean, it's not a super archomic, but I always recommend bone is a great place to start reading comics. Great. If a kid doesn't like bone, I don't know that kid. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, some ones that are so with super archomics, it's a little hard because there are like younger reader versions of the different Marvel and DC heroes, but they're all there's a certain level of

violence in that that I still don't love my kids being involved with. I was speaking of bone. I mean, Jeff Smith also did that shazam project that would be good for kids, maybe. Yeah, that one's all right for kids too, but I mean, but bone is a magical series. Like that's a series that like is a, but there's a series called Hilo by Judd Winnick that my kids really like a lot. That's a more super hero-y. My kids really like James Cachalka's kids comics. He has a character called the Glocking Warrior

and that's a, that they like a lot. And those are more just silly goofy than like adventure stories. But I would say you should ask your local that they like a lot. And those are more just silly goofy than like adventure stories. But I would say you should ask your local librarian about things. But there's also, there's a series called Secret Coters where there are kids who like use math and coding skills to have adventures in high school, but it's four younger kids or maybe they're middle school kids.

But that's one that my older son likes a lot, because my older son is about to turn eight, and he's a big comics reader right now. And a lot of it is him giving one or two things to try or whatever your child's type of child is. Give them one or two things to try and see where they go from there. Like Zeta, the space girl is a really good book

that they might like. There's a book called Hearville, which is like a fantasy adventure starring an Orthodox Jewish character, but you don't have to be Jewish to read it. And that book is really good. So any of those I think are good starts, but Bone is, that's the one that like,

I was super excited to get my kids into and it's just a, it's just such a really great series. And it's one that I was super excited to get my kids into. It's just such a really great series. It's one that they can read now and read again later when they're older, who knows. Go to the graphic novel section of your library, and I bet they will have stuff for kids there, and the librarians may be able to help you because it is a growing sector of graphic novels

is stuff for kids and kind of middle grade readers. And a lot of it's not superhero, which is great because the less you can limit what this medium can do in your kid's eyes, the more they'll have to enjoy when they get older. And the less they'll get stuck in the superhero dungeon that I live in. Yeah.

It's a great name for a comic book shop though. Superhero dungeon. I mean, Android's dungeon is the comic shop from the Simpsons, right? Yeah. Unless you have anything to do with it. No, I mean, I feel like it's kind of tough because a lot of, at least a lot of the super-erot comics I remember reading as a kid, I got exposed to when I was in middle school. So that's a few years down the road. But I feel like maybe some of the like early Marvel stuff, but even then like having read some early Marvel stuff, I'm like, oh, some of these relationships are pretty booked up. There's the thing. There's not a cool Kormack McCarthy way either. No, not in the like, hey, sorry, I freaked you out. Type away, but you definitely have in the older,

like the older Spider-Man books, that the original Spider-Man books are some of the best of those, but yeah, a lot of the old, super-er stuff has, there's a lot of gender assumptions, a lot of race assumptions, even when they're trying, like there's a lot of books I've been reading with an older son of Old X-Men comics,

and you're like, they're trying and getting it wrong in this one. But there's always a female character that kind of doesn't get to do anything and everyone has to protect all the time and that's not great stuff. But let them introduce them to one or two things and then kind of let them lose to explore and find what they would like, you know, as long as they're not picking up preacher or, you know, and find what they would like, you know, as long as they're not picking up preacher or, you know, a fowster, barotica or something like, you know, they'll be okay. You know what, I remember, I know that you're Marvel zombie, but I remember all stars Superman being kind of a gentler. I mean, it's a, that's a great book, but I wonder if I'd be curious how I haven't read it in years so I don't know, but I'd be curious how it holds up for someone who is not that book is so

explicitly nostalgic for an earlier type of comics. Yeah. And I wonder how that book works for someone who is not already steeped in where comics were at the time, but they're kind of like dense too if I'm yes, I think so. And it's quite frankly art, which looks great, but is I think if I, when I was a kid, I think so. And it's not Frank Quietly arc, which looks great, but is I think, when I was a kid, I think I would have found Frank Quietly's characters to look kind of weird and lumpy. That's what I like about that. But I would say take a look at,

if you really want to show them superhero stuff, then take a look maybe at some of the all ages stuff put up by those publishers or something like Zeta is not exactly superhero, but it's like a science fiction fantasy adventure, you know? So, I mean, like that. Let us move on to our second and final letter. It is from Michael last name with held Imperial Wing. I've listened to your entire back catalog, but this is the first time I've written. Would you want to come on to my sopranos podcast? Yeah, sure.

Despite the happiness you've brought to my life for the last decade, apparently nothing inspired me to get in touch with you and express my heartfelt gratitude until episode three five seven Santa Claus, the movie. What did I get wrong about Star Wars this time, guys? For a few years now, this has been my fantasy that one day I'd be famous enough or something to be invited as a guest of your show and choose for us and review this together. This thing which left an indelible scar on my teenage years. Let me describe this setting for you.

It was the late 80s and an usually big snow storm hit South Georgia. I stayed out in the snow too late at night and properly dressed what child in the deep south knows how to dress for snowy weather anyway and ended up with with the flu that year Santa Claus, the movie was shown on television, and I watched it in a state of misery, unsure of how much of it was a fever dream. I distinctly remember the jarring and achronism of Cornelia and Joe being revealed to be in modern day New York, not only had Joe been portrayed as a Victorian street urchin, as you all noted, but Cornelio was being forced by her nanny to do Latin homework. And suddenly, McDonald's Coca-Cola and Joe calling Cornelia

corny, Debbie Moeer's performance seemed insanely annoying. And when BZ was revealed to be Cornelia's step uncle, he gave her an incomprehensibly sinister greeting, as if she too was finding out for the first time who he was. I do remember that he does a little whirl around in his chair as if she's going to be surprised. Oh, it's John Lithgow. By the time the titular movie got to the drugged up floating children, I felt sicker and

more miserable than I could remember ever being. But for some reason, I watched it to the end. Now it would be natural for you to suspect that I'm exaggerating about the effect, but for some reason I watched it to the end. Now, it would be natural for you to suspect that I'm exaggerating that the effect, but all that was true and perhaps that traumatic incident had something to do with why came to hate Christmas. Perhaps this is why in college, I preferred decidedly nonjolly and gruesome stories about the Bishop of Myra, Nicholas, such as the one of him resurrecting three children who had been butchered and pickled in a barrel by an unscrupulous

businessman who is planning to sell them as pork. Perhaps this is why I converted to Judaism and moved to Jerusalem where I only occasionally see hints of a secular and thoroughly Russian father Frost for those residents New Year's Eve celebration. I've always been confused by the idea of Santa Claus because it feels like you are doing you're really making it harder for Christianity to to get across to people. Yeah. When you say to kids, there's a guy, there's a magic guy with a beard and he can see you and he knows when you're good or bad and he's gonna reward you if you're good and he won't reward you or bad. And then when they when they grow up, you're like, psych, that was fake. But anyway, the other guy with the beard who can see everything you're doing in your rewards you when you're good and he does not

worry about that's real. Like it feels like you are you are building in a disbelief in Jesus. When you when you pre-game it by creating this this by creating the shock of knowing. This is good storytelling. This is like you create the red herring, the fake. Yeah dance got up, so you can spring the real twist on them later. So the twist is that Santa's not real, but Jesus still is real. I just, I don't know.

Anyway, speaking of Israel and Israel, welcome to Judaism, I guess. I don't know when you converted, but nice job. You sure? Now's another part of the show. Uh huh. Let us talk about movies that we saw that we can recommend. The movie that I saw recently that I liked the most was Pig, which I saw Pig on the plane back from celebrating Elliott's birthday. It fucking rules, right? Yeah.

Yeah. It's a really good movie. You know, I want to mention it again, just because we're, you know, we spend so much time highlighting Nicholas Cage's lesser movies that I feel like I need to even the scales a little bit, but I, Stuart already recommended that one. So I'm gonna go to a cop shop.

Another movie I saw on a plane back to a classic Dan here as the world opens up. Um, you will, we will once again more, get more of Dan's a Dan in the air. Our special segment we're done. Where his critical faculties are a little lower than normal. Welcome to mile High viewing club. No, a cop shop is a Joe Carnahan movie. He is a huge mixed bag as a writer, director, I think, but like he can do entertaining sort of

other one, stripped down thrillers, Carnahan. Let's see what else did he do? He did the gray, he did the eight team. Okay, he did smoking bases and boss level. That was good. Those ones is the, but, um, but this one was, uh, was fun. And, you know, it's a redemption of sorts for another flop house favorite, uh, Gerard Butler, is in it.

Graham, what about her? Graham, what about her? He's, uh, he's, he's good in it. Frank Rillo, uh, who stew, uh, Jard Butler's in it. Graham one, Butler. Graham one, Butler. He's uh, he's, he's good in it. Frank Rillo, uh, who stew, uh, sure crossbones. Yeah, crossbones. Yeah. Uh, Toby Husse from Holt and Catch Fire. Right. He's good in it. Alexis Louder is the, um, lead.

And I was less. I mean, Toby Husse is, I'm amazed that Holt and Catch Fire is your, is your go to for Toby Husse. What would be, what's your, uh, already the strongest man in the world from the adventures of Pete and Pete? Oh, he was. Really? And his, and his many voices on King of the Hill. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Alexis Lauter is a bit of more of a newcomer for me, but she was terrific as the, uh, sort of the person who's revealed over the course of it to be kind of the leader of the movie. It's just a movie about this guy who's looking to not get killed, so he deliberately gets himself arrested, except for Soda's one of the people looking to kill him. And then, except for Soda's, that's the one that he's looking to get her. That's his one exception. It turns into sort of an assault on precincts,

13 situation where he's inside this police station being held and people on the outside want to kill him. And I would say that much like Grand Isle, the first couple acts are better than the last. It gets a little too crazy. Like I like a movie of this type that's a little more stripped down and with a one foot in reality. And at the end, reality goes out the window.

But if you like... Like in Tegashimiage is dead or alive? Yeah. If you like, I'm not quite that... Absolutely. But if you like a not quite that absolute, but if you like a good low budget action thriller, you could do worse than cop shop. What?

No, they're not all going to be fucking honest about you know, I understand, I understand. Yeah, man, I give it. It's cool. Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to jump in here and do a recommendation. I'm going to recommend what? Another two movies. I'm going to recommend two movies that popped up on Netflix. I'm going to recommend The Fable and it's sequel The Fable, the killer who doesn't kill. They are Japanese action comedies. I believe they're based on a manga. They're the premise is fairly simple.

You have the world's greatest hitman assassin and he gets too much heat on him. So his boss makes him go undercover in Osaka and he has to live a normal life without killing anybody. Of course, he runs into trouble and he has to manage to maintain his vow of not killing anybody while also getting into all kinds of action shenanigans. Uh, it's super silly and funny and the action sequences are fucking badass. They're great. I recommend them.

The fable and the fable killer who doesn't kill. Speaking of super silly and just wacky. Anyway, I want to recommend Malcolm X, uh, directed by Spike Lee. And so, what was it? Was it what she did? I'm in the middle of this thing where every now and then, I'm going back and watching movies that came out in the 90s where I was just a little too young

to actually go see them. And so, this is one that I was catching up on, uh, and I thought it was really great. Yeah. I was, uh, it's, the, an example of, it's a long movie, but the movie kind of flies by, to be honest. And it feels like real big budget.

And I don't know how big the budget was, fairly big. Like 80s, 90s historical movie making. And real epic scope. But what I liked about it was that the movie, among the fact that it looks great, and it's really, it's entertaining, but also interesting and dental Washington's amazing in it, everybody is. But that it's very much a

biography of a person going through several changes emotionally and intellectually throughout it. And they really take his ideas seriously and the way they developed throughout his life seriously. As like we're not just telling the story of this person's life divorced of what was actually going on in their head that made them an important person. We're going to show you, and we're not going to show you like just one chunk of his life and make that representative of the entirety. They're showing you how he changed throughout his whole life and how his thinking changed. And I thought that was really fascinating that it was focused more on like his ideas

and how he changed as a person in his cultural and social framework, then just on like, and then this thing happened in his life, and then this thing happened. Anyway, it was really great. That's such a, I mean, that's a really good point. I feel like it's so common with biographical movies of figures is to just focus, like, assume they're this one person and then just present their life without anything. Yeah. Or there's the oftentimes better choice of like, here, let's just show a snippet, something

like Selma where they're like, this is just going to be a little bit. We're not trying to give you the entire picture of this figure. But Malcolm X kind of does that. It's great. Yeah. I mean, it gives, I thought of those movies, I think, give the impression that people are kind of stuck in one place and that they, or that they have a very easily defined arc,

where it's like, and this is where the story of their life ends, even if their life continues going, like this is their achievement, whereas Malcolm X really gets across the idea of somebody who was changing throughout his whole life and was still changing when he was murdered. So it's, I thought it was, that's something that I haven't seen very much in movies.

And obviously it's a different type of movie than like a beautiful mind, but it really made me irritated that a beautiful mind is like, this guy's a brilliant mathematician, but we don't need to get into his math at all. Like we don't really need to, like we don't, all we're interested in is the, is this, is the,

the kind of like the details of his, his struggle like a... His struggle like a... Oscar bait personal stuff. Whereas this is, his struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that.

His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that.

His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that. His struggle like that.. And there's this does more than that. So anyway, I was really glad that I watched it.

And if the length of it puts you off at all, because it is like three and a half hours long, like I said, it's a fast moving, three and a half hours. Or you do it like I did and watch it in segments. Don't sit through it all the way through. And it's just amazing how, I feel like this was, all I knew about this movie when I was a kid was that it was like controversial.

And the idea that like to make a big biopic of Malcolm X was like controversial. And it's one of those movies where we're watching it now. I'm like, I don't really see what's controversial about that. Like at least where America is now. It's like, I don't know. Just it was interesting to think about that. That when I was a kid, it was like this was a dangerous movie in a way, the way I remember hearing people talk about it. And watching it, I was like, oh no, like this was a dangerous movie in a way. The way I remember hearing people talk about it and watching it. I was like, I don't know, this is a really good

movie. This is not a movie that is going to that I feel like doesn't give you all sides of this person, you know, anyway. So that's Malcolm X. Go see it. It's an HBO Max. I guess we're by the DVD. I don't know or go to the accessories got a copy of the VHS double double double. Yeah. Yeah. That was there was something about as a as a kid seeing any movie that was on two VHS tapes and being like that's a movie. Yeah, I remember he used to be into two tapes and I'm like, oh, there's got to be a movie. When I was at like a teenager seeing seven samurai in the library as a two VHS movie and be like, this movie must be huge. There are so much movie going on. Yeah, each table is three and a half samurai. I want to see all seven. I got to watch both things. It was and then and then when the first DVDs

came out and you had to flip them over to get to the other side to get to the rest of the movie. The shitty cardboard like clamshell things. Man, those things were fucking trash. And they give me CD long boxes. Bring me back CD long boxes. No, it's such a waste of packaging. You get that full bleed art, Ellie. It's amazing. It looks so great. No, but when I liked what I liked about those crappy cardboard packaging was that one, you didn't feel bad throwing it away because it looked like trash. You could just put them in a CD book. But also they'd give you the titles for all the chapters, right?

They're on the package. When you open it up, you get all the titles for all the chapters in the movie, which was a job when I was younger. I always wanted was the person who named the chapters because it seems totally unnecessary. It's not like the director and the screenwriter sitting there being like, now as we make this movie, we got to name each of the chapters. We got to make it clear. What's not like the director and the screenwriter sitting there being like, now as we make this movie, we've got to name each of the chapters. We've got to make it clear. What's going on? Our friend Bill Hickey always joked about how obvious it was in the scene in Roadhouse that that scene would be titled Be Nice. Well, that's another cajunus for the books.

Another year past, I know it's been a rough one. I just want to say thank you to all of you. Next year is going to be better, right? Yeah, well, look, it's going to be your year time. I want to thank all of you listeners for being here with us. I want to thank you, Elliott and Stuart, for being my friend. I know that it's hard to live in this world sometimes. I don't know why I feel the obligation at pagemas to do a summing up, but like just you know. I mean, it's the last episode of the year, I guess. I mean, it's okay. It's just like there's more than many of the afterwards. I'm just saying, like, don't let it, like, don't let it get you down. The only thing you can do is just, I don't know why Grand Isle has brought up his emotions in you. The only thing you can control is yourself.

So, don't... If you can, don't harden, have empathy towards yourself, have empathy towards others. We're glad to have you with us. It's like, don't always says, be nice. Be nice until it's time to not be nice. No, Dan, there's almost no time as when you shouldn't be nice.

Yeah. Yeah, but Dalton says, he'll tell you when the time comes. She'll know. OK. So wait till Dalton tells you. Yeah. When you get the know that would be Dalton booksellers. Well, it was being nice Dalton.

Yeah. Be period nice Dalton. Thank you to Alex Smith, our editor. Thank you to Maximum Fun, our network. Go to MaximumFun.org for other great podcasts. But until next time, I've been Damocloy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Ellie Kaelin saying, Mary Cagemas, one and all.

Bye! Yeah. Just posted a TikTok of me fucking with Dan. Whoa. Stuart, you really live more online than in Meet Space now. The only Meet Space I'm thinking about is the one between Nicholas Cage's legs. That's my first try.

It's a workshop. The first try at what? I'm not sure what you're trying at. Make a horny Nicholas Cage joke. Oh, I see. OK. All right. Maximumfund.org.

Comedy and culture. Artist-owned audience supported.