The Flop House - Ep. #370 - Moonfall

Episode Date: May 21, 2022

Let the moon faaaallll / when it crumbuuuules / we will watch iiiiit / and all make fun together! Slight hangovers on two of the Flop Boyz (tm) aren't enough to dampen the fun of the profoundly stupid Moonfall, a movie about a falling moon.Wikipedia entry for MoonfallMovies recommended in this episodeDelta Space MissionDrive My CarA Field in EnglandThank you to Lumi Labs and microdose gummies for sponsoring our show. Microdose.com

On this episode we discuss... Moonfall! The Front Runner for the 2023 Academy Award for Stupidest Movie! Hey everyone, welcome to the Flop House. I am Dan McCoy. Oh, it's me,ward Wellington. Oh, okay, sorry. Can I step on your introduction? I didn't realize you were giving your credits. I'm like, I'm healing, stepping on steward's crediting of himself as from the flop house in this intro to the flop house. So they've never done before, but I was trying it out. And I guess I guess I shouldn't try things.

Shree, having the powers of Shreeke sort of situation. Yeah, it's one of those. Yeah. So, hey, this is a podcast where we watch a movie that has been a critical or a commercial flop. And then we just, we talk about it. We discuss it. And occasionally, and occasionally, we provide a forum for the feelings of people who have

been either two or have come from Topeka, Kansas. Yes. And their feelings about Topeka, Kansas. Yes. And their feelings about to be Kansas, but that's not as regular. It's a secondary mission. Yeah. I would say. If we complete our first mission and there's still time. So if we take on that one, if we do it, we'll get some bonus victory points.

And that might tip the scales if the game's really close. So you're wearing your sunglasses inside. Is that because you're so cool? No, it's because I'm fucking hungover. Shit, dude. You were really throwing me off. I was there. It's really throwing me off the story of sunglasses because I keep thinking he's going to terminate Dan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You think, because normally, normally, I'm just kind of boring like Snoopy, but when I put these sunglasses on, I've got Joe cool who murders people. A lot of people don't realize that there was a whole run of peanuts, comic strips, which were removed and expunged from the newspapers where Joe Cool goes on a killing spree on a rampage.

Doesn't kill any of the main characters from peanuts, but he's a contract killer. And that's a thing. He's been removed because I think you've gone on record in that you don't believe in glorifying contract killers in assassins. No, very much. I think the pop culture stereotype of the cool, smooth assassin who is a lethal hitman with amazing taste in suits and just total control is not just a pathetic fantasy, but also a fantasy that leads to the

idealization of certain anti-social and hostile tendencies. And certainly I don't want to see Snoopy playing into that. Yeah. I think you're specifically talking about Dan Acroid and Gross Point Blank, right? Yeah. Well, I think if you're going to low, if you're going to believe that all assassins are as cool and hot and just stylish and graceful as Dan Acroix and Gross Point Blank, then you're asking for people to try to go into a line of work that's very difficult, that's very

hard to make a career in and very hard to get an opening in. So it sounds like- It sounds like- It kind of sounds like some lines from Gross Point Blank. Yeah, you're right. So we're here to talk today to talk about Gross Point Blank. Anyway, there's some movie strain, Key is a condom, right? And Mini Driver.

And Mini Driver, who is, of course, the daughter of the Micro Machines guy, that's why she's named Mini Driver. Yeah. Yeah. She and Baby Driver, Pals. Yeah, she had to work so hard to lose her accent of talking too fast so that she could be an actress. I remember seeing some cutscenes from Circular Friends where she's just talking way too

fast. And I keep saying many, many you guys slow down. They would slow her down for TV audiences. Similar to when Jet Lee was in lethal weapon 4 and they'd slow down some of his scenes because he was moving too quickly. Yeah, because he was talking martial arts by the micromancer. Yeah, that's true. Exactly.

Yeah. Guys, I also a little bit of energy now that you talk about it. Yeah. I'm sure it's a little. You were both, you were both out late last night and I spent this morning climbing up a hill carrying a three year old. Oh, no. We went on a hike and he actually did a great job going up, but on the way down he was like, my legs are tired and that means daddy carrying me all the way down. So we're three tired guys. So it's too bad we're here to talk about Moonfall, a movie that would really benefit from a high energy analysis. Yeah, a lot of zaz. Well, let's hope that it rescues us from our energy funk. Okay. Yeah, the gravity of the moon will pull our energy back up into the strategy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, much as it does many objects in the movie, even though the earth

has more gravity than the moon, and that's one of the reasons that the moon orbits the earth in real life. You know, uh, yeah, well, I know the exact science of it, but if the moon got the moon does help the tides pull up, but it's not like if I don't know, I don't know how close the moon has to be for water to literally fly off of the earth well as in the movie. I do know. Scientists right in, Neil deGrasse Tyson right in. Look, I don't know about the,

I mean, I don't know about the science of what you're saying. I do know that if it was close enough that that could happen, we would all be long dead. Oh, for sure. Well, that goes to that thing. So Stu, you're gonna, you're gonna take us on this space flight. Space knows today, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're sure.

Okay, yeah, why not? And you know what? And this was also the first time where I was like, you know what? Every time I watch the movie and take notes, it takes that much longer. I ended up having to stay up late at night a bunch of times. Stu's doing the summary. I'm not even gonna take notes on this one. So I have no notes, Stuart, so you are on your own. Okay, no life preserver on this one. Just raw dog and moonfall. Okay. You are falling off the moon without a net. Okay, so it opens with some footage of space

and some production logos. And then once again, we're in space and we get a date January 12th, 2011 and I'm like, wow, man, to be back there, you know, 2011. Living the dream. Yeah, I would I would I would warn more than those people so many different things. I mean, sure, you know, the moon's going to be a problem, but you know, there's so many other issues going on. But uh, yeah, yeah. Well, you think this occurs in the same timeline that we're currently existing because I don't know if you remember it, but it back in,

you know, like the the moon didn't crash into the earth at any point. So like that. Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. No, you're right. Okay. So this is an alternate timeline. Okay. So any any time where the timelines converge, you have to make sure you let me know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm curious and I want to know where the timelines diverge. So what are they not dealing with in this movie that we're dealing with nowadays? Because I was not dealing with the moon crashing into the youth. But what are what are today?

Today's assumed that don't seem to be dealing with a shortage of baby formula. Yeah. Yeah. No one mentions that in the movie. No, I think that I think that somewhere along the line, we were given a choice. dealing with a shortage of baby formula. Yeah. Yeah, no one mentions that in the movie. No, I think that somewhere along the line, we were given a choice. The moon can almost crash into us, or we can just have a panoply of horrible, like, like just like a smorgasborg of that, that in, when you combine them, it feels almost equally unpleasant. Yeah. I don't know. I gotta say, I mean, the earth is running out of oxygen in the movie and buildings are combine them, it feels almost equally unpleasant.

I don't know, I gotta say, I mean, the Earth is running out of oxygen in the movie and buildings are being destroyed by chunks of moon rocks falling on the sky. I'll take this universe. You've finally made alternate universe where I'm like, yeah, I'll stick where I am. I don't need to go to that. I don't know, I think I'm going for the moon, but we'll see if I make the right call. Let's go. I don't need to live in the universe where Sam Tarley is in love with Elon Musk and

can't stop talking about how great Elon Musk is. Oh, that's like it. So I saw this movie in the theater and I want to talk about that. Yeah, give us some backstory, Dan, before Stuart gets us all to establish that we're in space in 2011. We're in space. Yeah, I want to talk a little bit about that. I was going to say later, but I can't do it now,

but I will say like I had a great time watching Moonfall on the theater, but like the one part that disgusted me was like every time he was like, what would Elon do? Or he's like, oh, Elon, I love him. I'm like, fuck you guy. Like now I almost don't want you to save the world, man.

I told you by the way. And you saw it in 40X. So when any time you said Elon did the chair shake. Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about. I saw this movie in 40X, which if you're unfamiliar with it, the fourth dimension in this case is a chair that pucks with you. Shaking. The four dimensions of with height, depth, and shaking.

Yeah. So I water in your face sometimes. Yeah, I get squirted. the four dimensions of with height, depth, and shaking. Yeah. So I'm watering your face sometimes. Yeah, I'm good. Squirted. I had never seen that. As we know, the fourth dimension is squirt. Yeah.

Well, that's why Gallagher concerts are in 4DX. I, all of them, I'm a single one. Every single one. I had never seen a movie this way before. And I sort of assumed like that the movement of the chair would be times things. Shuttle, let's say. And I will say I'll tell you this. It is not.

It is like basically like you're on an amusement park ride, which is what this movie tries to be. Yeah. Well, the intelligence of this movie is perfectly matched to 40X because it is. I mean, I have to say the level of intelligence of the movie, it should be the video you're watching as you're about to get on a roller coaster called The End of Fall.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we need to go to the moon to fix it. You hold this. So, well, I guess you'll do. Okay, climb into your lunar pod and it it's just a rollercoaster car, yeah. Yeah, but these chairs, they don't just sort of like shift around. Like at the beginning, for instance, we're in space, they were like listing and drifting as if you were, you know, in zero, zero gravity.

But that sounds awesome. But they also told the oxygen out of the theater, too. So it felt like, yeah, it was just like the sense around scene in Kentucky, Fred movie. Yeah. They also have parts that kind of like the, the scene will sort of like jab you in the back at times and it will squirt water at you. You better believe later on there's some water scenes where we got squirted a lot. Now, the weird thing is Dan, I saw I didn't get to see moonfall in 40X, but I did see bellfast in 40X and it's really distracted from the experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So guys, we're in space. We got, we got some astronauts. We have these astronauts. We also about Harper played by Patrick Wilson. He's kind of like the hero hero. Yeah, he is kind of like, uh, the hero hero. Yeah, he is kind of like the hero. And he, his partner is Halle Berry who plays Joe Fowler. Joe Sinde Fowler.

Yeah. Joe Sinde Fowler, kind of like another hero. She's, she's another hero, but she's a little more level headed, I think, but actually no, because she makes, uh, some interesting choice later on. Well, Joe Sinde Fowler is, she supposed to be characterised as like the by the book one. And Patrick Wilson is the, is the loose cannon, but they're both fairly loose cannonny. And neither one is someone who should be in a position of authority, like they're,

but neither of them plays. And they're introduced. They're in favor of the world from the moon, Elliot. That's true, actually. Yeah, that's because the only way to do it was to break the rules. Yeah, yeah. If that's right, if that's wrong, I don't want to be right. Yeah.

They were like, hey, we won't be held back by the laws of physics. Yeah. The laws were made to be broken. Yeah. And they're introduced arguing over the lyrics to the, to totos, Africa. And it's like, come on. Like, well, how much more of a boomer granddad movie could this be introduced us to? That like, the movie takes place in 2011.

It's already an old song that there are you about. Yeah. But anyway, it was an extremely pop. It was like the number one plate on Spotify, though, like a couple of years back. That's true. That's true. People do love it. I think because I mean, I probably like trended on fucking TikTok or some shit. Well, I think weasers, like people wanted weasers to do a cover and then they did and like, I guess great. Who did it? You, you, you're changed.org position worked. Weasers did a cover of Africa by chance.

You know, I talked about the baby murmurs a lot and how, how, how much they ruined things. But I will say that they did, they did marshal a lot of their resources towards protesting like a war as opposed to huge campaigns to get the Snyder cut released or get weasered cut to cover a total song. I think they've been playing you protest lately, but anyway, let's, yeah, no, I only focusing on those, those protests. Yeah. And who knows?

And you're also probably ignoring all the dumbass protests that probably happened back in the 60s where people were like release the big bopper cut of this Okay, so So they're hanging out with their arguing about Toto. They're not even like, hold the line or something. Okay, and they don't hold the line when a bunch of space debris that actually behaves like a living thing, it's like this swarm of nano machines, slams into them, micro machines, if you will.

And move really fast. That's true, actually. And it sends them spinning at Knox Joe out, the only person who, the only people who witnessed it are Patrick Wilson and Marcus, who goes spinning off into space, never to be seen again. Yeah, bye bye, Marcus.

A horrible death. But we learned later that Patrick Wilson manages to get back on the shuttle, despite the electricity being out on the shuttle, he manages to land it, the only human to ever do such a thing. He lands the shuttle safely. But it is. I think it's very funny. They keep saying you're the only person who's ever landed a space shuttle without any power,

which is pretty impressive, but it's like, not that many people have the chance to land a space shuttle. So it's like, you're the first person ever to fart on the moon. Yeah. Well, most people don't have that opportunity. You're saying it's like the, like, sort of like most accents happen in the home. Like you get no shit. That's where you are all the time. Or like, like, when Elliot's always talking about how he could dunk up basketball, he just

doesn't try. Yeah. But if he tried, he probably could. I probably could. I probably have the record. Yeah. Yeah. Or if like, for some reason, you're at a hockey game with your brother. And one of the goalkeepers got sick with diarrhea. And they're like, does anyone in the- They call that a brown ice situation. Yeah. Does anyone in the audience can anyone play goalkeeper? And the thing is, for whatever reason, you get volunteered. So they suit you up and you go on the ice

and you know what? I bet you'd be amazing at it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's why I don't do it is because I'd be so good that I'd blow the other players out of water. That's the thing.

Yeah. Frozen water ice. It would change the game. Yeah. So back on Earth, oh, and then also. That's the thing also all these hockey fans would be like, we could have had this all these years and they wouldn't be able to live with the missed opportunities. Yeah. So we also see that on the moon, the, the something's going on,

like the swarm is doing something. Everything's happening on the moon. Shortly afterwards, hero astronaut Patrick Wilson is. It's funny because everything's happened on the moon? Shortly afterwards, hero astronaut Patrick Wilson is... It's funny because everything's happened on the moon, but that place I can tell you guys, there's no atmosphere. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's a party placement. It's a party placement. So Patrick Wilson is on trial.

Well, we can introduce. We can introduce this, let's not ignore the fact that like, we hear like, he's in the middle of like getting divorced. His wife is moving out, they're like moving stuff. And like the reason we hear that he is, you know, in these hearings is because his young son is watching them on the laptop. And so you're saying he's a young son, he's a young son

and kind of diminutive. He's small. So what do you call him a sonny? He is called sonny. That is what he call him. Yeah. They named him after their favorite James Con character. But it was so funny to me like that he's like, I couldn't tell whether these are like, I these presumably are not live hearings.

Like he's just revisiting. No, he says he says he wants to he is he is obsessively re not live hearings. Like he's just revisiting his father's. He's obsessively rewatching the hearings. And what I read was that this scene was actually shot later to explain things to the audience. That this scene was not originally in there. And they needed a scene that basically said, they blamed your father for the space shuttle emergency.

That's why he doesn't work for NASA anymore and he can't get a job and why we're moving and we don't talk to him and I'm getting remarried to Michael Paine, yeah. Like that's all the stuff. And gratuitous dig on New Jersey in there, the kid goes, uh, do we have to move to New Jersey? I hate New Jersey. And they don't move to New Jersey. I don't know why it gets brought up. They live there in it. I mean, yeah, they may briefly move to New Jersey. I mean, we don't, there's a 10 year jump coming. They could have moved around during that time. That's where Michael Payne's first dealership was and then he expands nationwide and he

just so we can get out of that. It's a great one. It is a great one. This is one of the first of many dumb things in the movie, movie two, where, oh, you think this movie's dumb? Well, I would argue, I don't think it's the first. I think the dumb thing start right from the beginning of the movie. Well, one of the first, they fired him from NASA.

They decided it was human error, all this shit. And it's like, I guess later on we're meant to believe it's part of the cover up that we find, but it's like, she was knocked unconscious by something. It's not human error. Like whether or not you think that his crazy story about nanobots is true. You know, like, like she was knocked unconscious and he did rescue her and pilot it at home. So like for them to be like, it's all of it is your fault. It is weird to me.

You think they want to keep close to the guy who is powerful enough that he can knock out a spaceship on his own. You know, that they wouldn't want to throw him out of the organization and give him a reason to go against NASA. But it is very, there's a lot of, there's just a lot of, this whole movie has, I think the style of the movie is like dumbness, is to be dumb. And I texted Dan and Stewart and I was like, I'm 20 minutes of this movie. It's maybe the most flagrantly stupid movie I've ever seen. It's like the movie is-

You're barely in it. He got so much better. Yeah, and it's like it's waving stupidness in your face. And it keeps daring you thinking, it's like, you think this is as dumb as I can get. I can get dumber. We're gonna get stupider. Like, you have to really admire the movie

because the movie at no point decides to be reasonable or rational. It's just so stupid. Like there's that we'll get to it, but there's a plot development where so where someone makes that information leap that is something that I thought movies didn't do any war. There's the one trick that they that involves a newspaper getting dirty in a place where there's an article that is information the character is and like 15 or whatever years ago. Like it's oh, I was like movie. This is amazing. So we have a 10 year jump. Nothing happens between 2011 and 2021. We are introducing

I think they refer to it as the the great boring time in the movie. Yeah. We are introduced to Casey Houseman, kind of an oddball conspiracy theorist, He's a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, I was going to say Casey Houseman is the classic character we've seen in other flop house movies like God's Eleversus Kong where he is the character who believes the thing that all of science says is not true and the movie says yes you're right do your own research from now on on the internet you cannot trust scientists you can't trust the scientific consensus if you have a crazy fucked up theory and it you

You've pierced together a bunch of things from computers that prove you right, you're right. Do you go with it? Don't listen to authorities. You know better than they do. Do you think like a generation of people growing up with pop culture reinforcing that character in stereotype? Do you think that's had any positive effects on the world? I'm glad you asked that. I would say nothing but positive effects. Thank you, Stuart. We currently live in an era where everybody is a genius scientist who knows how to, who has basic research skills. So thanks to movies, we've developed that.

No. Obviously, it's a terrible thing. And we now live in a world where nobody trusts anything. And this is, and movies are just one brick in that wall between us and mutual understanding and agreement, but it's a pretty big brick. So it made me mad to see this still being done now. Oh yeah, I mean, I don't want to get too real about life, but I find it-

Get real, man, it's moonfall. Guys, let's just get fucking real, you know. Let's get real. All right, let me- All right, let me- Let's get real, dumbass. I was not being polite. Is it like this kind of thinking where it's like,

I know better, I know best about all sorts of things. Like, people's sense of self and self-worth and their own intelligence and all of that must be so tiny if it is threatened by the idea that someone else who has studied a thing might know more of the better. Yeah, you're right. You're exactly right. Absolutely bizarre. I feel like I'm a fairly smart man. I don't think I could say perform surgery on myself. Well, there's the thing about being smart enough to know what you don't know, or to know that there is stuff that you don't know.

That's the basic foundation of wisdom or knowledge. But I think there's a lot of people who, and I'm speaking mostly of men, but not entirely. It's women also, but it's a big part of the male makeup, where it's like, if I give any ground at all ever, then I am giving them the opportunity to kill me, to kill me soul. It's going to my soul. Basically, yeah, I've failed as a man. If I ever admit that I don't know something, or I'm wrong about something. And when Casey, and Casey has been, he's Sam Tarley, so he's super charming, he's got English accent,

even though he has an American mom, and which is not a plot hole because my own nephew and Easter in the exact same situation, they've American parents believe English accents. But the, he probably did a semester abroad. He put, no, no, I think his dad is, I think his dad's English and he lived there when he's born. Yeah, but in the movie, but once he starts talking about Elon Musk, it's like,

oh, right. This guy is not like a cute, harmless, you know, wise fool or something. He's probably like an in-sell. He probably hates women. He's lonely in a way that he could change, but he feels like that means compromising with the stasis of the world or whatever. Like, it's like, there's a darker side to this character of Casey Houseman, who I did, and the more the movie went on, the less and less comfortable I became with him, that it was like, oh yeah, this is the, this is not a, this is a guy who is not like, probably in real life, like, not a great guy. Like, he's got some negative things about him. And he's probably, I don't want to say he's definitely married to a Japanese body pillow, but possibly. So, you know, so he went the full, he made an honest pillow of this. I mean, yeah, he believes in the, he believes in the ancient classical

Roman standards of humanity and marriage, you know, you got to see if to marry that body pillow, you know. Yeah. Okay. Well, meanwhile, Hallibary is now the deputy director of NASA. See, that's what happens when you go by the book, is that you get ruined. When you play the game. Yeah, so she and she's informed by her team that the moon is in fact coming closer to the earth. It's rotation is somehow bringing it closer to the planet earth, which is strange. Yeah, and they, so NASA knows this and later on Patrick Wilson is like, he's like,

talking about Casey's like, he figured it out before you guys did. And it's like, no, he didn't. Like, this is the thing that annoyed me in the movie. Yeah. He didn't, like, they knew they were working on it. Well, he figured it out like, he he figured out like 12 hours before they did. I guess, I mean, all he accomplished was like, eventually we'll see he leaks it to the press

which causes a panic. I mean, although the moon then also starts causing a panic shortly thereafter by sucking things into the sky. I mean, I don't, in this case, much as with the Supreme Court recently, I don't think it was the leak that was the problem. I think it was the moon coming towards the earth that was the problem. Now, much is with the Supreme Court recently. I don't think it was the leak that was the problem. I think it was the moon coming towards the years that was the problem. Yeah. Now it's like with the Supreme Court. Yeah. Yeah. Where it's the decision is really the troubles

of aspect and not so much the leak, you know, in my opinion. So now Casey, you know, trying to figure out a way to get his information out there. He is inspired by his cat, Fuzz Aldrin's urine he is inspired by his cat, Fuzz Aldrin's urine, to pick up a urine soaked newspaper and he realizes that there that he could track down disgraced former hero astronaut Patrick Wilson. Well, before we dance, say we say, I want to just rewind to say another stupid thing that the movie does. Well, I think we may be talking about the same thing. He tries to call NASA directly before that and he reaches the NASA gift shop. Gift shop. Which is apparently open in the middle of the night, like this woman is there alone.

That is crazy. Like the lights are all out. I'm not sure. The store is closed, the lights are out. And yet there's someone manning the phones and she says, I'll pass you along. I just sell t-shirts to kids. And it's like, hold on. So why is the director doing even tour at this point? The only thing I gotta say is maybe he dated her briefly and he knows and that's the

number she gave him because she does not want him having her real number. But why, maybe she just turned out the lights because she's about to leave for work and then she heard the phone ringing and she was like, well, I'll pick it up. Maybe it's a question about how much we charge for astronaut ice cream or what it's in there out of her, whatever. But like the idea that he calls NASA and it's all for the joke of he called the gift shop, but that they must have been like, well, he's calling at night. So I guess the gift shop lights should be turned out to show that it's night. Why is she sitting there? Why is she answering the phone? Why is this the number he called? It is, yeah, I'm glad you brought it up, Dan. That's exactly what I want to talk about. I think she was expecting, she answered the phone, why is this the number he called? It is, yeah, I'm glad you brought it up Dan. That's exactly what I want to talk about.

It is so fun. I think she was having something to do. She answered the phone, have expecting it to be Ben Affleck asking if they have live music. Okay. Ben, we're a gift shop. We don't. Your wife is not sleeping with a pianist here. So he wants to share his theory that the moon is hollow and artificial created by aliens.

The idea that the moon is hollow and artificial created by aliens. The idea that the moon is a mega structure. Which is Latin for big structure. Yeah, Patrick Wilson is now divorced. He can't make his rent. He drinks beer and his son is arrested for taking a sports car for a drug induced joy ride. And it's on TV. It's like your son is on TV right now

and he's in a high-speed chase. And then later, Patrick Wilson is arguing with his case and he's like, he's a good kid. It's like your son is on TV right now and he's being, he's in a high-speed chase. And then later, Patrick Wilson is arguing his case and he's like, he's a good kid. It's like not really. Doesn't seem to be. All signs point to no. So he attends the bail hearing. Well, he's so rich. He didn't know it was a bad thing that he was doing. He attends the influenza. Yeah, he, he attempts, he goes to the bail hearing, but he just ends up messing it up and causing trouble between him, his ex-wife and her new husband, as we mentioned, played by Michael

Pena. And they have two daughters together. Now, here's another dumb thing at the court hearing. And this is, so Michael Pena has hooked some. The fucking lawyer. Yes, the lawyer is hooked to him up with his, with his high press lawyer and the judge is like, this is outrageous, blah, blah, blah.

The lawyer gets up and he says, your honor, we are very prepared to pay whatever bail you set. Money is no object. It's like, what are you trying to get him thrown in jail? What are you doing? To get him to be like, don't worry, judge, we're so rich, we can pay whatever fucking amount you charge. It doesn't matter.

You're nothing. the system is nothing. He's a rich boy, so we'll just get him out. What a crazy thing for a lawyer to say. That's why I'm using it word crazy so much. It's one of these things where it's such a dumb moment. Everything's dumb about it. The judge, yeah, throws him in jail because he's like, oh, well, that means he's a flight risk.

But beyond how it's bad strategy there, you don't walk into like a car dealership and be like, I'm prepared to pay whatever you tell me. Like this lawyer's not interested in saving Michael Pin you money. I'm very happy. But like it's one step above a mobster just peeling bills off of a roll and throwing them at the judge and being like, what do you need? What's the big this thing go away? Yeah, it's such a, It's such a nuts thing. And then Patrick Wilson gets up and he goes, you're on her. He's

a good boy. Which is not a great argument when he's like, those were his friends drugs that were in the car. Not his drugs. It's like, not a strong argument. No, they're no good lawyers. I'm going to tell you, it doesn't work with parents or judges. Okay, so word gets out that the moon is out of orbit and people start to seriously freak. Society collapses almost instantly. And it feels like half the population just went away. Like every, I would expect there to be more people

in almost all these crowd shouts. Society collapses almost instantly. And yet on the other hand, like stuff seems to keep working for a very long time. Like people, I mean, like later on, there's like concerns about like generators or we gotta get an oxygen or what it, but like people still have power.

But also, there's a lot of people being like, well, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna run away like in the next scene or so, you know, like the head of NASA resigns and leaves Halle Berry and charge. And I kept wondering like, where do you think you're escaping to? Like the moon is crashing into the earth. Like I know from living through the past few years that people don't act rationally when there's a crisis, but even so, like, what is the plan here, guys? Well, I think, well, him, he was like,

I've gotta go check on my dad or whatever. I think there, it's just, he's gonna do, he can't really do anything, so it's like I'm just gonna make sure my family's, okay, for the most part. He's not like Tetsuo, he can't fly up to the moon. Like, so holy. If only, if only he was Tetsuo,

what a different movie would he be? It would definitely be interesting. You'd wonder how a drug addicted psychotic Japanese If only if only if only he was Tetsuo what a different movie You'd wonder how a drug addicted psychotic Japanese teenager became the director of NASA like right off the bat That's a big question that I would have I mean, I would accept that's your story Yeah, that's actually a little more if the character wasn't like Literally shown to be one of the few people who could do something about this in the world Well, it's a but it's another it's another instance this movie is like and I hate to be just digging too deep into the politics of what is essentially a stupid popcorn movie. But that's where our politics are writ the largest, Dan, in our Escapacentra statement,

is that what it is saying is, oh, the people in charge only care about themselves and can't be trusted. The director of NASA, who in theory could do something about this, he just leaves. He doesn't, he's not interested in the hands of Halle Berry, who is, you know, his, his, who is marked as one of the trustworthy human beings and Americans in it. So it's another one, it's just another one of those things that reinforces that idea of like authority is not there to help you. So don't, so you can't trust in it. And it takes just a rag tag to help you so don't see you can't trust in it. And it takes just a rag tag team of folks to go up to the moon and blow up an alien robot.

But also on top of that, we just went through what could have been, and thankfully it wasn't because of medical technology ultimately, what could have been like a massive disaster for humanity. And for the most part, people just kind of muddled through it. And they bought a lot more toilet paper and a big chunk of humanity refused to do anything about it and refused to change their ways.

So I kind of believe if the moon was coming towards the earth, you'd have a lot of people who just out of sheer inability to grasp the enormity of that would be like, I guess I'm going to go to work today, talk to my co-workers about how it sucks. The moon's going to crash into the earth. There's a scene in the movie The Day After where nukes are about to land on this town, and this woman is rushing around making the beds in their house, and her husband's like, stop with the bed making, the bombs are falling, what are you doing? And I think it's a lot of that.

Like, if the moon wasn't gonna crash on earth instead of like, people fleeing the cities because they know they live in a disaster movie, so famous buildings are a specific target for chunks from the moon that I think you'd have a lot of people who just kind of like close their eyes to it and just keep on doing what they do. And they're like, oh, this moon. What are you going to do about it? Well, do you see the game last night? That kind of thing. Anyway, so speaking of doing stuff about the moon perspective. Patrick Wilson tracks down KC Houseman who explains that the moon is a mega structure built around a captured white dwarf star, not white dwarf the magazine, which features warhammer content,

but we'll get into that later. Really? And it's not VHS copies of Redd dwarf, the British science fiction signal. No, no, no, no. Nor is it the Candlemus song black dwarf, all different songs. Okay.

All different things. Okay, but something may have happened to the star, thus the course of the moon has been altered. The Navy sends a shuttle up to the moon, but it gets attacked by that swarm of nano machines, and it murders all the people on the thing. It just slams right into their faces. Slams right into their faces. A powerful attack. It's like, it's like, it's like you've

been into a fence over. No, it's like if you bid into a gusher and instead of fruit juice, a stream of a fountain of nanobots just flew into your face and smashed your face. That would be terrible. I would have certainly asked for my money back in that package of gushers, similes on the truck. I'm trying to get gushers more interested in the box. That's where the money is and gushers. It's in gushers. It's in gushers. The money is literally inside of gushers.

That's why they put that fruit juice in there to squirt you in the face so you drop it. You don't take the money that's in inside. So Harper and Casey Houseman are at a hotel and they get flooded. There's a big, this is when the movie kind of turns into full on disaster movie beside an adventure when. Yes, and now let's talk about how, how so Casey's friend Ziggy is getting high in the lobby of this mostly banner hotel and he's got his feet up.

So he doesn't notice that there's ankle, deep water rushing into the place until he lowers his feet. And then he wakes up Casey and Harper and he goes, look outside, guys. And they look outside and there is an enormous wave of water rushing towards the town. And you're like, no one heard this? No one felt the rummaging of it. Like it's, it's such, it's such movie logic that if you can't see a thing on the screen, then you also can't hear it.

You can't feel it. you can't smell it. Where were there four DX seats, Dan, so that they could feel the thing that was intentionally happened to them? Well, you got to believe that there was water being squirted in my face when all this was happening. Yeah. Like a gusser was in front of me.

You're also biting gushers, because you wanted to be hydrated. No, okay. That 40X water, I'm a little worried you wanted to be hydrated, to be healthy. That 40x water. I'm a little wort. I'm sure it's clean. Yeah. It seems like, I don't know, especially in this day and age.

Do they just recycle it after each viewing where they're still suits or something and they scrape off your face and sort of mask? I was wearing a mask once. I was definitely before the show worried about how much water there would be. Like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was be like in, in UHF when he drinks from the firehose and a fire hydrant and he just blast that kid right off of that rock and horse.

My mask to get saturated. It seemed like a bad idea, but it was, it was more like a fine mist. Yeah. Sturd is so tired. Yeah. We got it. I should mention also, this is the main goof list on the IMDB page for Moonfall. That white dwarf stars are enormous.

They're much bigger than the earth. You could not fit one inside the moon, apparently. And I'm not a scientist. I'm certainly an astrophysicist. But it kept bothering me that the reason the moon is an orbit around the earth is because of the Earth's gravity. The mass of the earth is what's holding the moon in place. So the idea that the moon is powered by some kind of anti-gravity star and that what's that gets turned off, the moon starts falling into the earth and objects on earth start

being pulled up to the moon. It all seemed very, I was like, what about the earth, but the earth has gravity, right? Like, we live in a planet gravity. Well, but in this case, it is a super massive thing, the moon. White dwarf star. But like, that just adds other questions. Like, why wasn't the earth pulled into the moon before this? Yeah.

What does this anti-gravity technology that the super structure has? I don't know, like, I remember, like, this was. This was, I saw this with a group of friends, my friend Ashley, this was the thing she could not get over. She's like, I have read a bunch of stuff about astronomy and the fact that they were like, it's a star in the middle, this is absurd. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a rolling emery move.

Yeah. So you said, can I remind you again that this movie is dumb? Like it's almost, it seems beside the point to even be bothered by how, how messed up the science is in this movie, because the human behavior in this movie makes no sense. Like that, anyway, it's a dumb, it's such a dumb movie. It feels like, like, it wouldn't surprise me if it turned out that if they were like surprised, this was the first ever movie written by an algorithm, like a computer wrote this movie. Yeah. It's a part where Casey Houseman, he, he, he first ever movie written by an algorithm, like a computer wrote this movie. Yes.

KC Houseman, he, he, he, he sees in the newspaper that Harper is going to be speaking to a group of kids at the Los Angeles, at the Griffith Park Observatory. And he goes there and impersonates Harper for a little bit to teach these kids about how the moon is hollow and it's a mega structure. And then he's talking to Harper and he goes, Harper, you've got to get me to NASA. And I said to the screen, I said, NASA and me are not speaking terms anymore. And then Harper says that exact line. And I'm like, yeah, this was a movie written by a computer.

Like it's so, and I read, but then reading on Wikipedia, they're like, the script is developed for four years. And I'm like, how was it, how did it take off for the four days to make a script? So Hallibary gets a field promotion. She is now the director of NASA. So she starts digging into some old NASA secrets. And of course this, she doing this disturbs Donald Sutherland from his suicide pistol cleaning. From his ancient slumper. This is a fall of the bureaucracy. He is so funny because he like, he sees like, you know, Donaldson was down there like, you know, he looking very wise and as he's an elderly man now.

And he's in shadows mostly. Like, he, you know, he seems to just sort of be like the gnome who lives in the NASA archives, who's just been waiting for this moment because he sees like Hallibary coming down, you know, on his security camera and he puts a pistol on his desk and then he like comes out, explains the plot of the movie and then sort of is like, I have some business on my desk. I need to take care of it. So it's so horrible, but I laughed it because It's just like, well, having explained things, I must go and die. Like my bloody idea has been fulfilled.

I've achieved my purpose on this earth. You know, I used to say that God gave me a certain list of purposes, and I'm so far behind now I'll never die, but I just did it. So now it's time for me to go. So you can have my shirt that says that with a picture of mean Calvin on it. But this, so, yeah, Hallibur is learned that the military has known for years that the moon is hollow and there's an evil robot that lives inside it. And they were building a weapon, codename ZX-7, an EMP device to kill the, the robot's

swarm, but it was abandoned for budget reasons, which is a silly explanation because it's like, there's no budget that's so small that the military can't build a space weapon that nobody wants. Like the government is like, hey, we don't want to buy 300 tanks. The military go another, actually, the military says we don't want 300 tanks and the Congress says, you're making those tanks. We're making them. So there's no, there's no budget that the thing is like, they still have it. It's not like, right?

Didn't make the. The budget was going to like a guy who hangs out with it like. That was the budget. That was the budget to pay. It was just the budget to pay for new light bulbs for the building. The building, and he keeps the company. And that's why it's so dark in there. This is also a part that confused me because later on, there are all these recalculations that need to happen because they have severely underestimated how massive the moon is. They're like, oh, we thought we had this much time, but we only have this much time because the thing is decaying so much faster the orbit is decaying because of the mass and I'm just like, I just but okay, like I

If NASA knew Secretly what the moon was like at this point should they have that information and not be making these mistakes that like need to know basis, like, top secret. Yeah, but I have now like she keeps treating it like it's a normal moon and it's a, it's a spaceship moon. It's a, it's a hollow spaceship moon. It's also, it's a space arc moon. Also, there's, there's, I mean, there's so much, it's, it's a dumb movie, Dan.

I, everything will be laid out. I have to be on being a dumb movie. The fact that the director of NASA goes, here, you always wanted my job. Now you've got it. He hands her his identification card. And later, she's in a secret, confidential military archive. And they're like, how did you get here? And she goes, the director of NASA gave me his key card.

It's like, oh, so I guess that card opens up every door in America? Yeah. Yeah. What is this like hit, like a hitman level where all you got to do is take somebody's clothes and all of a sudden you can do anything they do. Man, hit man rules. Okay, so Harper and Houseman are just like- I may say yes, but I can't, except I can't get behind the idea of entertainment based around

Hit Man, but continue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like if you spent 24 hours with Agent 47 and you would change your mind, but we'll do a lot. Maybe, I do like the idea, I would be there. I would be there. I would be there. I would be there. we'll be there. Maybe I do like the idea. I would say like the idea of putting on people's clothes and being able to do what they do, but that literally is the plot of the cobbler. A movie I did not care for.

That's true. Okay. So Harper and Housemen are just taking a nap together in the upper floors of this hotel when some government helicopter show up and they airlift them out of there. And Fowler offers Harper his whole job back to which he responds. I got a lot of my own, I got a lot of my own problems down here. It is so funny. It's so funny that he's like, he's like, I got bigger fish to fry than the moon. It is, it is taking the idea of like the reluctant kind of badass hero to a ludicrous degree where it's like, you have nothing in your life.

The movie has established that from point one that your life is a failure. And now NASA is like, hey, can you come back and do the only thing you like doing which is flying spaceships and do it to save the world? And he's like, I don't know, man, I'm a busy guy. Like it's. Yeah. Yeah. Is this also when they bring, when they take the endeavor out of the, the California

science center? Yeah, yeah. They take the, the shuttle out of the museum and the army delivers the, the EMP bomb. I will say that, I've been to that museum several times. It's really cool to see a space shuttle. You just walk around it, walk underneath it. I highly recommend going to the California science center and seeing the space shuttle endeavor. It's really cool.

Okay. That's a plug for space shuttles. I do want to point, right now, I want to take a second. California Science Center and seeing that space shuttle endeavor, it's really cool. Okay, that's a plug for space shuttles. I do want to put space shuttle and gushers. I want to take a second and say, don't combine the two Dan, you can't have a gusher in zero gravity, you could drive.

I feel like when they were doing the style on makeup for Patrick Wilson in this movie, they're like, we need to get him looking as much like Chris Pratt as possible. Yes, yes, very much. I wouldn't be surprised if this was originally written in the as much like Chris Pratt as possible. Yes, yes, very much. I wouldn't be surprised if this was originally written in the script as a Chris Pratt type. Yeah, although basically, Mario. Yeah, you're basically Mario.

Heavy mustache, Italian accent, flundery, you know, Chris Pratt type. I think, but I have to admit, were you guys as excited as I was to see Patrick Wilson as like the star of a big budget event? Like I like Patrick Wilson. I like him as well. to see Patrick Wilson as like the star of a big budget event. Like I like Patrick Wilson. I like him. I like Patrick Wilson. And it was exciting to see him like in the role that normally Tom Cruise or Chris Pratt or, I don't know, a Ham's worth would play or something like that.

I mean, there was a part later on. Yeah, I mean, like not later. I mean, there's just I remember there's a part in the movie where I was looking at Patrick Wilson and Halle Berry in a scene together thinking like, look, I know that people got to eat. They take the jobs that are, that are offered them. They like make decisions about like, oh, maybe this will be like big. I understand. Like, it's a career and people, you know, I think get too down on actors sometimes expecting them to always be doing it for the art. But it's a job. It's a job. But I was also like, oh, man, Patrick

Wilson and Halle Berry are like, they read this script and we're like, yeah, okay. Yeah, I mean, it was, it was I did. There was a moment to where yeah, where it's like, well, that's a lot of ways to talent in this cast. Yeah. Halleary Patrick Wilson, Michael Pena, Donald Sutherland, Michael Pena. Like, although I like similar to I like seeing Patrick Wilson as like the hero star when I think of him more as like a supporting actor in these types of movies, I like seeing Michael Pena in the role of like the wealthy stepdad that the kid that like has his heroic moment and all that like that originally that was Stanley Tucci that was supposed to be in that part and he seems more like the stereotypical

version of that. I love seeing Michael Pena in a role that was not like the goofy guy or like the henchman or you know that it was you know I like seeing him in a situation where I was like oh that's not the role I expect to see Michael Pena playing. Yeah. So, uh, but is it total waste of talent? Of the other. As a, uh, as a stipulation for him saving the earth, uh, they get sunny out of jail, who shows up and immediately throws a fit when he realizes that his dad is going to be going into space. And then earthquake. And when he has a surprise, this I was that sunny then became a, that sunny sub plot became a major sub plot of the movie.

Yeah, it became huge. That the movie thought we cared about happened to sunny. I mean, well, it's lean that, that's the whole section of the movie that leans into the disaster movie element. Yes. Like I think that the movie like this needs people on earth that we're going to follow as earth falls apart. And some of that like while while I don't find the, you know, sunny and his entourage is interesting as Patrick Wilson

and sunny. Michelle, the Chinese exchange student who is living with Hallibary. Hallibary son Jimmy Chinese Canadian. She's an actress and singer. I looked her up. Okay. She's anything you've only heard of any songs of her? Probably a lot. They seem to mostly be in Chinese, although she moved to Canada in her youth. It is a, I mean, she is in the movie to give her where they international market for China to okay this movie to be shown in Chinese. Like, there's no reason for Halle Berry to have an exchange student living in her house,

taking care of her child. It's real life, yeah. Sometimes real life's messy. But they can't, they couldn't come up with another way to, and they couldn't come up with another way to have a Chinese character. And later on, they're like, our Chinese friends are lending us an orbiter that we can use. It's like, and our friends at SpaceX are going to let us use this thing. Like the movie is really, really loves Elon Musk and wants to appeal to the Chinese audience.

No, but I like, as as much as I don't find those characters as compelling as our main true trio, like the some of the stuff that happens later on Earth is some of the wackiest. And what about like the bike? Oh, yes, very much so. By the time they're in a car chase with Aspen hillbillies. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that's a teaser to give you a wedding anniversary. Yeah, that's just it. In case you're getting bored hearing us talk, just get ready for that. Because it's not where I expected the movie to go. That's for sure. Okay, so all of a sudden it seems like this mission they're preparing for is off. They had to cancel it.

So they send everybody home. There's a problem with the space shuttle. And within minutes, Halle Berry gets on the intercom and goes, everybody go home. And everybody just goes home. So it leaves only a skeleton. And then they realize that you know what? They could use this like, kind of less powerful

shuttle thruster thing because of the moon's increased gravity, it helps suck the shuttle up into this star. When I first saw this in the theater, I like started like hitting my arms with my chair. And the chairs like, no, I hit you. I can see where it was headed. I'm like, oh boy, are they gonna use the Moon's gravity to pull the shuttle, the rest of the way?

Well, yeah, they do. And yeah, that's what happens. Okay, exactly what happens. Much as the Moon's gravity pulls the top of the Chrysler building off, you know, so for the space shuttle line. he pulls the top of the Chrysler building off. You know, so for the space shuttle. So, but because it's just a skeleton crew, only Harper, Fowler, and Housemen are going,

only are three main characters. So they do all their tearful goodbyes. You know, Houseman calls his mom and Fuzz Aldrin. His cat. His cat. You know, and we get reintroduced to sunny and Michelle and Jimmy and Halle Berry's ex-husband who's a general, which by the way, after Charlene pointed this out, but I kind of agree, meeting, meeting those two characters, there's no way they would have karaoke at their

wedding. They do not seem like the type of people that have karaoke at their wedding. No, early on she, Halleberg is, she knows the lyrics to Africa because she's saying it at karaoke at her wedding. And you're right, there's no, I also don't believe these two characters were ever married. Like, it's the X-Men rules of relationships where it's like, well, they're the only two black characters

in the movie. So they were probably married at some point. But it's also, this is also when, uh, when are you, are you, are you going to talk about that shuttle launch? Not only do they have to use this shuttle that's broken, not only is the moon's gravity going to have to get the most away, but is there a tsunami heading towards the, the launch pad at exactly that. Yeah, let me see my Dan being squirted with water right then. My notes just say gravity wave and all caps. So yeah, there's this massive gravity wave. First, it sucks all the water up from the seabed,

leaving the fish just flopping around. Yeah, this is a red sea scenario. It's happening, folks. And so like yeah, there's a lot of water in the air. There's water all over the place. And does sunny, does sunny have to out drive the wave? Or am I imagining that? No, of course he does. He has, it's, we've, it's already been established. He's a joy writer. So he, and he's ready for an initial skill. Special skill is driving fast. So they, yeah, they, first they parked the Humvee there and watch the gravity wave because

it's dope. And then they're like, Oh, shit. And they get in the Humvee and then they outrun the gravity wave, of course, because he's a great driver. They barely escape. Um, and then, but in the shuttle man just despite for a moment, we're like, Oh, it looks like the shut one of the thrusters is off. The shuttle's just going to crash and they're all going to die. The movie's over. Nope. The moon helps them the rest of the way. And they're in space, baby. They're in space, baby. It would have been a good name for this movie. Yeah. They're in space, baby, the movie. And Casey Howsmann, he cannot stop taking pictures with his phone. Everything that's going on.

There's a, I kind of like the joke when they're staring at him for taking photos with his phone and he's like, it's on airplane mode. I think that's a good, that was a good joke. Yeah, that was a funny, a funny laugh. That was a funny gag. Okay, so they, they get that shuttle into the sky. They refuel at a SpaceX depot. They have some laughs. Seems like there were a lot of times in shit. I know there's one part, this is around the part where I couldn't quite understand what

was going on. I think where they're like, we've got a jettison, our rocket tanks or whatever. And like, that's what space shuttles do normally. So I couldn't quite figure out what the problem was. I think it was before hands. Like, they had basically one ran out of fuel and then the other one was still thrusting. And so they're going off course. So they're like, oh, we got to just the one that's still working.

So just suck us up into space. I hate to, you know, backtrack just a little bit, but I have to say that like the scene that back in 2011, let me, you know, just like everyone's gone, which is what leads, you know, Patrick Wilson and Halle Berry in Casey, you'd be like this reg tag team, like they're the ones are going to go into space. And you can, you can, you can launch a space shuttle with just three people in the shuttle and two guys manning the computers. Yeah, all the other ones are, you know, that's a tag. I felt so bad for the actor and actress that they, the actor and actress they introduce as like

the flight, the navigator and the other person, because all they get to do is stand there and nod when their name is said, and then they leave, and then they don't get to go to the special. Like, oh, these actors, they probably had to audition for this part where they just stand there, and it looks like they're gonna have a part of the movie

and they nod and they don't have to be in the movie. It's like, it's like, Bask for Lums, like, they're barely in it. I mean, at that point, just go all the way, yeah, and have Bask and IG 88 standing there. Yeah. But they're like, we gotta go up there, at that point, just go all the way, yeah, and have Bosch and IG 88 staying there. Yeah, but they're like, we gotta go up there and we have to do it in 28 minutes,

exactly, you know, so the moon can help us out. Well, and yeah, yeah, sorry, I think I said that. And they're like, they're convincing KC, like, oh, we gotta have you come too, because you're super smart, I guess,

and you figure things out. And he's being, you know, he's like, oh, I'm anxious. I have irritable bowel. I've got all this stuff. And it, it seems like the most here, dude, casual, chipper conversation that they're having about this. There's a, there's not a lot of urgency. This isn't anywhere at various points. They're like, if we don't leave in 20 minutes, we, or like later on, if we don't set off this bomb in like two seconds, then we're gonna be killed by nanobots

and they have a conversation about it. And it's like, there's just no sense of urgency ever. Again, it's a dumb movie. But it's like, it's the kind of movie where somebody, instead of just setting off the weapon that's gonna save the day, they have to give a speech first about how nobody ever believed in them. And it's like, just do it, dude.

You're talking to nobody. Like, just make it happen. But you're right. They do take a long time convincing this guy who's dream throughout his entire life has been to go into space. They have to spend a while convincing him that he should go into space with them. And they're wearing old Apollo era spacesuits because they can't have electronics in Harlem if they can help it. Because they figure out, is this one they've, have they already figured

out that it seems like the swarm goes after electronics that have people inside them? Well, they know that it goes after electronics at this point. I think later on they figure out like, oh, it has to have people and stuff. Although it's not really sure how they figure that out because they stop the nanobots warm as we'll see later on by like breaking the electronics. So I don't know why they like make the we cut to oh also people have to be involved but whatever. Yeah, I don't know. As you've said many times it's okay. It's a movie. So while they're refueling back on earth uh sunny mich sunny Michelle and Jimmy get Carjacked by, as we mentioned before, some Colorado, uh, looters, um, there it is.

It's very much a, because it's far from the ocean, right? Like it's high up and it's far from the ocean. So if the, if the oceans rise, then they'll be safe, I guess, and rock him out. And people, people are going there for weed. And they want to go see, and they want to go see how he's parents. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, this is, and the looters, this is the like kind of at first when they show up and like, Oh, great, these are characters. I'm never going to see again. How wrong I was.

Uh, we'll see them again later. Um, okay. Um, so they're now on foot. They lose their satellite phone that would allow them to call, uh, Jimmy's dad, who's in a top-seeker bunker. So they just go all the way to Aspen. And they find the survivor camp first before getting to Aspen. I don't remember. Yeah. Well, eventually they find where Michael Pena and Sonny's half siblings are and his mom. And now they're all on foot.

They've got it. And they have to get, yeah, they have to get to the military. Yes, or like a tunnel, a concrete tunnel. It's like, I don't remember when they, when they know that there's possible nuke stuff, but oh, yeah, and oxygen is being pulled out of your atmosphere. And it's a, it's a, it's a whole mission. Yeah. And the moon is kind of the situation of the moon is getting close enough. It's starting to break apart chunks of it are landing all over creation. It's funny. The chunks of the moon are falling all over the place, even though the moon can only be over one

part of the earth at a time, right? Like it's not like the chunks are going to circle around the back of the earth, I guess. But yeah, I mean, it's also funny that like the moon is as it gets closer to the earth, circling faster around the earth, like that it has a shorter distance to travel. And later on, there's a part where there's all this chaos going on because the moon is rising. Like someone, like a character is like, oh, the moon's rising. And I thought it was so funny that it stops immediately.

It was the moon, I guess, turns around the other side of the earth. And I'm like, I guess, but it also just seems to like go back to normal so quickly. It's just such a weird, anyway. It's a weird movie. There's, there, the gravity doesn't exist anymore. And oxygen is disappearing until the movie needs the characters to like have a conversation or walk somewhere. And then things are finding it. I mean, there's a lot of science that they, as I read on the

IMDV trivia, it's one of the trivia points was just, they researched what would happen if the moon actually fell on to slash into the earth. So I guess that explains it that they did their homework. And so another trivia, and I don't know what this is based on says, they had a real astronaut on set during production as an advisor and on occasion he would approach Roland Emmerick and say hey guys I mean that's not really possible they told him to roll with it as it's just a movie. So I don't know whether they did the research. That's a classic Roland Emmer phrase too. He's like hey we roll with it baby it's me.

They're in space baby. Roll with it rolling. Like they had an astronaut on set and occasionally his head would explode. Okay, so I have to I also admit I was watching this movie and about the time they finally got into space, I was like, okay, great. The movie's going to be over soon. And I looked and saw there were 50 minutes left. And I was like, what? Yeah, it's two hours and 10 minutes. Speaking of space, but it's not like nine or ten minutes of credits. Harper tries to pilot a lander and he leaves like the little rover vehicle with the EMP

above the moon hole. It's kind of like bait hoping to lure out the swarm. The swarm comes out of the hole, ignores the bait and begins to attack their shuttle and then they, but they destroy all their electronic devices. Maybe that's when they realize it has to have a person inside. The weird thing is, he made it seem like he destroyed the detonator for the bomb. But then later on, it works fine. Later on, it just has kind of a correct, yeah.

So, finally. It did look like he destroyed the detonator, but the problem was really the iPhone, which they destroyed. Yeah, you're right. You're right, you're right. And Casey Asmond was like, you could have just turned it off. And it's like, well then you turn it off, dude. Like, you're the real business.

Yeah, it's probably with it too long. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You just lost phone privileges, buddy. Okay, so in Asmond, yep, as we said, they meet up with the whole family, they decide to go to a fire station to get supplies, including some oxygen.

That's when they get ambushed by those same looters. Yep, they've fallen. They turn the tables on them and they steal the looters stuff, but then while they're driving through the streets of Aspect, we have a high speed low gravity car chase where they're shooting at the looters and things are getting sucked up into the sky. There's like a huge ship comes by and a train and is knocking cars off.

And this is when I realized that in this movie, the moon is just the biggest catamourity. It's just everything just gets stuck to it, random shit, just gets stuck to it and then falls off of it again. Yeah, I mean, it's working like, I don't know, like there's a, the moon is less the moon and more like a big vacuum cleaner that is sucking things up. Yeah. And no matter where you are in the world, there's always a ship nearby, even Colorado, with you think as far as you can get from the ocean, that's why everyone's flying there. Flyers are your ships, yeah. There's just ships falling down, you know?

And I love this because this is, you know, like they're shooting back and forth, like Michael Pena, like, has a gun. This shows, this shows that this is a message I didn't like. Like Michael Pena is sort of like the nicer guy who's not tough, but like, you know, he shows he's a real man by shooting at these. Yeah. He's the soft, he's the soft stepdad, who's not as, and yeah, but he makes his bones by shooting back at these guys and then eventually, you know, being self-sacrificing.

But the idea that Sunny, who is like that he's great with the gun and great with car chases, like it was ridiculous. That's the best. He, Sunny continues to accelerate because I guess the moment, he has to have the momentum so he doesn't get stuck up in the air and he's out running the gravity of the moon. And this is one of many scenes where I just yelled at the screen, punch it. Yeah. And it's also one of those things where it's like, hold on. I'm about to go even faster. And it's like, why were you not going that fast? You're a bunching from people who are shooting at you and the moon is going to crash into you.

Go as fast as you can. You got to wait for the perfect moment to do the nitro. What is he holding back for? What does he think this is the Matt and then he's going to do it again later. The road is literally being sucked up into the air and he punches it and he, you know, he moon hops with the car over these floating pieces of road. Yeah, like it's Mario Brothers, yeah. And I got to say, you got to use, you use the mushroom. over these floating pieces of road. Yeah, like it's Mario Brothers, yeah. And I gotta say, you gotta use the mushroom.

You'll get more, you'll hit more mystery box later on. This movie is like too gray in a lot of ways in the way that a lot of like, CGI heavy, yeah, visually, a lot of CGI heavy movies are. But I gotta say that as like fake and dumb as a lot of it is, it also some of these scenes on Earth, I found like strangely beautiful because it is just such surreal imagery of the moon being that close to Earth and stuff floating up into the air.

Yeah, I think you're right. It's one of those times when the most mainstream entertainment inadvertently becomes strange or bizarre. Yeah. In that, it's followed this dumb path to a point where, yeah, you have a car that is hopping across floating rocks like something on a 70s fantasy novel cover. And the moon is enormous and it's colorful. And there's ships and trains and things flying by.

And a hillbilly and a car that can't make us fast to jump slams into this flying stone and explodes. And you're like, yeah, it's like, how did this movie get so weird? And it only gets sillier. It's gonna get weirder. So they take the lander right into that moonhole and they find out that,

hey, it is a mega structure. So it's all like, you know, like, it's like a giant spaceship inside. And at the center are like, like, a revolution studio's logo. Yeah, just a lot of revolving rings. Yeah, a lot of revolving rings. And on some of those rings, there's like, like crops and stuff planted, right? Something like that. Yeah, they basically, there's, it's like, it's like ring world. It's like, very niven's ring world. It's kind of like, it's kind of like the Simon Roy comic habitat,

which is great. You should read is better than this. And at the center, of course, is that aforementioned white dwarf star just small enough to fit inside a moon. And apparently not too hot for them to just fly by. Like, you'd think you think the energy of a star would instantly destroy them. But they define, they just cruise via it. And the swarm is smothering the star. It's like soaking up the energy and that's what's causing it to, causing the moon to hit the earth. So they, the swarm starts to chase them and they barely escape through a, like a door

and then the door closes and they crash in a chamber of this weird alien structure. And it seems like they die. Yeah, because the whole integrity breaches and the oxygen goes out. We come, we know we go back to Earth and we find out like birds are dying because oxygen is running out.

Is this fear being sucked up into space? Yeah, at that point I'm like, well, game over, man. I'm like, I'm just getting sucked up into space. Yeah. And at that point, I'm like, well, game over, man. And I'm like, that's it. That's it. Yeah. That's the whole town. You're right. Yeah.

The way if birds are high enough up that they're dying from the atmosphere being sucked away. Shouldn't the birds also be sucked away? I mean, birds have had a long deal that gravity doesn't apply to them. Oh, right, right. Well, they signed a deal with the devil, and that deal just ended. The terms just came up.

So, yeah. Only Earth gravity apparently. Yep. Is this around the time when they start talking about how they need to hit the moon with a nuclear weapon? Like, I mean, they've been, yeah, I mean, that's been implied the whole, like Mr. Show told us. And it's really funny, because they're like,

we got to wait till the moon is close enough that we can hit it with the weapons like you. I feel like you want to hit it when it's far away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's possible. But I guess the missiles only go so far up. I guess that's, yeah, that's a good point. And you don't want like miss.

And then that missile just goes off and go wherever. There's a part later on. Later on. There's a part later where Halle Berry is like in two hours, they're going to blow up the moon with a nuclear weapon. So we got to save everybody. Well, how are you going to tell them that you saved them? Like even if you do it, how are you going to get that information back to earth in time?

You know? Yeah, yeah. Wi-Fi. So we find out that this is smashed KC's phone. Yeah. So we're inside the moon. The moon probably is Wi-Fi because we learned that the moon has oxygen and gravity. That's right.

But, and this is the moment where the, Halle Berry and Casey, they wake up in the spaceship and Harper is not there and how he goes, there's oxygen and Casey goes, smells weird. There's gravity and I was like, wait, did you just smell the gravity? Is that what happens? Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, Harper's missing. So they start walking around. They find that they're in this big alien structure. And they immediately reason that for some reason, the alien intelligence that built the structure they're in is different than the alien intelligence of the nano-bots warm that is chasing them. They are two opposing forces. Meanwhile, Brian goes on a mind quest where a construct of his young

son explains the hidden history of the human race. And I don't look, we'll get into the hidden history of the human race in just a second, but I don't want to, you know, shit on a kid's performance too much. He's a child, he can't, but I do think he's expecting to go in this direction. Well, I do think it was a problem to give so much exposition to a kid who can't really deliver it well. And he's also trying to deliver it in a very like portentous, like dramatic way when I think like the both for logical reasons and for the kids' skills, the better way to go would have been just do this pretty affectless

like you're a robot, you're an AI. They should've just got Hayley Jolossum to come in and bang it out. Yeah, he's not a kid anymore, but he's a grown up. He's a grown man. I'm not gonna go dance, right? I don't. I don't. I'm not gonna blame the kid for this performance or this moment.

I think it is what I like about this and what I don't like about this are the same thing, which is that the movie at this point is almost over. And this is when they've decided to drop a huge exposition scene about the history of the human race for thousands of years. And it is not interesting or surprising enough that it feels like a twist, or a shock, or something that the movie has been building towards. It's literally like the movie was like, what are we doing, what are we doing, what are we doing?

I'll just make up some stuff. And it explains this ancient aliens bullshit in the way to make it as clear to the dumbest people watching. Yeah, and so Stuart, tell us the hidden history of humanity, HHH. Yeah. Triple H. That's what the wrestler Triple H was all about. The human race. Humans were once a galaxy spanning utopia, but they were undone by an AI that they developed

and that AI manifested as these nanobots warms. Their last attempt to say their race involved making a mega moon built around a white dwarf star. They were planning making many of these, but the AI attacked them so they were only able to launch a single moon that was meant to find an ideal world and seed it with DNA. Allah, Prometheus baby. Yeah. And it's been pretty cool.

And it's been pretty cool. And it's been pretty cool. And it's been pretty cool. And it's been pretty cool. And it's been pretty cool. And it's been pretty cool. Prometheus baby. Yeah, and this is where as Prometheus did it super cool with like a weird giant drinking garbage Melting into the planet and then dissolving into the humanity. Yeah Guys, you know remember when Prometheus came out and people shit on it. Yeah, that was so stupid It's great. It's fun movie It has its issues, but it's a super fun movie and it's like yeah, it looks beautiful Well, and that's one also where, maybe it's just because of that prologue,

but when they wake up that engineer alien and, or whatever they're called, and he sees humanity and he hates it. Yeah, that is like, I mean, I mean, I mean, I love it. I mean, this garbage, you're my crap kids, forget like he's so angry about it. And there's this moment of realization where you're like, what if, like, what if you found it and the and there's this moment of realization where you're like what if like

What if you found God and God was disappointed his creations and then yeah, we then watch that guy getting a wrestling sex match with another And then his belly ripped open and a xenomorph comes out like like like a God is mad at us He's chasing us an octopus monster is now gonna eat him and try to date him. Yeah, it's time to attack and dethrone him. Yeah, it's all like, oh, let him move. Any, I thought this one, I saw the movie The Theaters and I still think in any movie where a lady uses a robot to use this a robot surgery machine

to give herself a cesarean section and pulls out a little squid baby. I'm gonna like that movie. I'm sorry, even if it's just for that one moment, you know. But this, this is a, yeah, this a lot of, and also the idea of that like, this alien intelligence is using the image of a family member to communicate with Harper,

like that stolen from contact. Like this is not, there's nothing, for as crazy and silly and dumb as this is, there's nothing original about it. So maybe that's it, it feels like you've just injected these bonkers moment into your movie, but it's not that, you're not giving me anything. It feels like you've just injected these, this bonkers moment into your movie, but it's not that you're not giving me anything. This movie has been full of new dumb, and this is a mostly, and this is an old dumb. Yeah.

I, can I say like the pettiest thing that bothered me in the sequence? I mean, you just criticize the performance of a child. So go ahead, can you get more pettie than that? Well, the child explains the natibot thing, which is hilariously visually realized by another kid waking up this utopian scene, these swarms of nanobots inside. What I guess I, this is her alarm clock. Yeah, and then...

Yes, some kind of glass pyramid alarm clock. Yeah. And the narration goes, the AI suddenly became self-aware. And I'm like, number one, I'm like, waiting a lot to gloss over things. But number two, just as a writing thing, writer of Moonfall, you don't have to say suddenly became self-aware. You can just say it became self-aware. Well, suddenly, no matter what, like that. I thought it was just a seamord. It's going to be suddenly no matter what. Like that's always got to be a side. I just see more.

It's not something that happens. Yeah. But I thought you were going to say, if the definition of AI is self-aware, like if it's a true artificial intelligence, it is self-aware. So the idea that it suddenly became self-aware, what was it before then? Yeah. And it's, but it's a, but anyway, it's a kid explaining it. So let's just say it's a, it's a, it's an ancient computer

filtering through a child. It doesn't know how to explain this thing. So they realize that the aliens that built the megamune were not aliens at all. It was humans and they have been drafted in defeating the swarm that is currently attacking their moon. And what specifically what the swarm is trying to do is, it could just go and destroy Earth,

but more importantly, it also needs to destroy the moon so that humans can't spread anymore. So honestly, looking at what humans have done to the Earth, the AI might have a point. Yeah, I mean, that's the argument in a lot of these things where if it's like, oh, we need to save humanity. I'm like, eh. I like a lacking scale. Yeah, but in this case, like the Earth. I get why the people would want that, but every other living thing on Earth is like, hold on, let's hear the mouth.

Yeah, there, but there was no life on Earth before these aliens showed up in terraforms. So. We don't know that, Dan. All we know is that they sprinkled human DNA all over the place. I don't know that they, that only they terraforms the planet. I think they just, they, because they were looking for a planet that was good for human

life. I think there, right now there could be a, there could be a chipmunk utopia, but the humans are around, screwing it up gently. The chipmunk is hanging up, wearing shirts, no pants at a whole. It's just risky ranges. Yeah, but in this, all, humans are the ultimate intergalactic genophires is basically what it down. It's just risky ranges. Yeah, but in this, humans are the ultimate intergalactic gentrifiers is basically what it is. Is that we found a virgin planet and we were like, this looks like a good place to set

up our junk. And then we opened the world destroying equivalent of like coffee places and things like that and expensive vintage stores. Okay. So the moon fixes their shuttle shuttle makes it even better than before and soups up their cool EMP bomb. I think we're going to have a fight on our hands. They're like, I think we just got an upgrade, but it was disappointing because you see all these alien spaceships around. I thought they were going to have to fly one of those.

Yeah, I was excited. No, no, no. And then they're going to go, I got to get me one of these. that. No, no, no. And then they're going to go, I got to get me one of these. And now that's what I call pod racing. Yeah. So, uh, I'm loving that. That was such a great album. And that's what I call pod racing. Volume three. Okay. So, uh, back on earth, our family is trying to make their way through the human family. Yeah. Our family of humanity. Yeah. They're trying to make their way through a family. Yeah, our family of humanity. Yeah, they're trying to make their way through an ash-steroon highway to a tunnel, but Tom has to give up his mask so his daughter will have oxygen, sacrificing himself, proving himself to be a good dad.

Yeah. When all this has been nothing that could have shared the oxygen tank, you know, just like do the old scuba divers back and forth trick. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, you have fixed your mask first before you have fixed your partner, your neighbor's mask. Yeah. I mean, Tom, they had to, what they had to do was they had to redeem Tom Pania for a, or Tom Pania. Tom Pania. Yeah. I like Tom Pania. They had to redeem Tom Pania for, or Tom Pania. Tom Pania, yeah. I like Tom Pania. They had to redeem Tom Pania.

Tom Pania, Tom and Stacey. Tom Pania sounds like the owner of multiple carn dealerships. Yeah, it does. That's true. They had to redeem Michael Pania's character for being not Patrick Wilson, even though he was, by all accounts, it seems the movie a much better dad. Yeah. And there's a part where they're like, he's like, we got to take the girls to Aspen.

And they're like, what about Sonny? And it's like, yeah, you're right. I'll let the rest of the kids and the family die because Sonny's in jail right now. Like, forget it. Like, that's, that anyway, they treat that like it's a huge sin that he left Sonny to in jail while he's, he's getting kids to say. Why is Sonny? Yeah.

But anyway, he has, he's a hero. He dies a hero saving his daughter. And every parent's dream. And when he dies, he has a look on his face of just like complete terror or like shock, you know, he doesn't die with a smile on his face. And I like that touch. He doesn't die with a sense of pride. He dies with a sense of like, oh no, I'm dying now, which is what death is.

It's scary. Yeah, what have I done? Okay. I could have kept that oxygen. What have I done? Down in the top secret military bunker. Wait, his last thought was, wait, I have two daughters. And then he died.

Yeah, yeah. Down in the top secret military bunker, they're like, let's nuke this fucking moon. Yeah. And Joe's ex-husband is like, uh, uh, pulls out a pistol and takes the key and he's like, it says, my wife is on that move. My ex-wife is on that move. Yeah. Uh, I don't know how, but she's going to say this.

Yeah, yeah. What a dumb, what a W. He was like, she's never let me down in the past. I'm like, I mean, I feel like she must have at some point. I mean, you're, you're not married anymore. I mean, that takes two, you know, he was probably the one who let her down ultimately. But I, you know, you're not married anymore. I mean, that takes two, you know? It takes two, you know? Like that he was probably the one who let her down ultimately. But I, you know, we don't have it.

For a relationship that fall apart, it takes two people, I think that's... I don't know about that. I've seen a bunch of relationships that fell apart with just one, but anyway, I point taking, point taking. It's communication is the issue. That's what I'm trying to say. Okay. Some were in the fencing process.

You know what he's like? Somebody made a mistake. She's never, she's never let me down, except for the time she's saying Africa by Toto at her wedding. Yeah. And I just couldn't let go of it, and ultimately it led to the art of course. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, so back on the moon,

Brian decides to sacrifice himself to blow up the swarm, but, uh, uh, KC's like, I'm gonna sacrifice myself instead, because I have a less to live for. So he locks himself in the little thing, and they drop him behind. Sonny gets trapped under a tree back on Earth. KC triggers the bomb, killing the swarm.

They escape, and luckily, the moon is like right there, so they don't have very far to fly. They're back on earth in like seconds. The moon starts to return to orbit. The moon's gravity lifts the tree off of sunny. Yeah, great. The point where I'm like, early in the movie, I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, they're, how silly. They're using the moon's gravity to shoot the rocket up there.

But now they've reached a point where it's literally just like helping people lift trees up of other people. I mean, it sounds like it sounds like we should just pull the moon closer anyway. Yeah. Why is the gravity? Why is it that the gravity of the moon only affected the tree when the moon was leaving? Like it's it doesn't and all I kept thinking about the scene in the movie once a great notion where a different character gets, obviously different character because it's a different movie. Get's trapped under a tree underwater, like a log falls on him underwater and his brother is trying to save him and he keeps gulping oxygen and then going back underwater to deliver

it mouth to mouth to his brother. But his brother is realizing there's no way he can save him. There's no way he can go get help in time. And it's such a sad scene. But anyway, so I was thinking about a much better scene from a movie that has its flaws, but it's like a real movie about people, as opposed to a movie about when the moon's gravity

turns on and off to do different things. You know? Moon starts to return to orbit. Everybody's happy, except Casey's dead, or is he back on the moon? Casey's inside the weird simulation. He meets his grandma and flux. Oh, his mom. I'm sorry. She looks like she should be a grandma, but Casey couldn't help her with that. And she's sitting there with with Fuzz Aldrin, his cat, and she's speaking for the elected, yeah, the collective, the collective intelligence of the human race.

Her for a grand baby, yeah. Yeah. And she, she explains that they've got work to do. Yeah. And this was setting up. Part of the move now. Oh, yeah. They said if they said if the, yeah, his, his, his, his personality was scanned. And now he's a moon program that they said that if his movie had done well, they would have done, this was going to be the first in a trilogy and that the series was going to get even zaneer, but I don't think we'll ever know their plans because this movie was not a success.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was, I mean, I'm assuming the next stage would be like in, in the anime, Guren Logon, where at first they think they have to destroy the moon, but it turns out they just have to turn the moon into a giant battleship. So then they fly the moon battleship after the anti-spiral technology race.

It's pretty cool. I'll show you the show sometime, yeah. And also there's that all our heroes are reunited on a mountain top because there's a convenient helicopter that Pat, like, I was reading that they thought it would be too convenient for the astronauts to land close enough to their families that they could just meet up that way. So instead, they had them ride a helicopter over.

And it's still incredibly convenient that the entirety of this global emergency takes place either on the moon or Los Angeles or Colorado, like those are the only real locations on Earth that matter. Well, I kinda wish with the idea of the moon going around the Earth and wreaking havoc, I kinda wish they played up the idea that they have to get as much stuff done when the moon isn't close to them. If they had to do the cycle of it, because again, the way the movie is is when the moon isn't close to them. Like, if they had to do like the cycle of it, I'm, because again, the way the movie is, is when the moon is nearby, everything goes up in the air,

when the moon is not nearby, everything's totes normal. And I wish that they had, they had like made some effort to like play into that. Yeah. So with like, oh, so the mood's coming. This much time. The mood's coming. The mood's coming. Tie yourself down.

Tie yourself to the ground. Strap in. Hey, buckle up everybody. The moon's passing overhead. The moon, moon, moonfall, moonfall, this movie that we watched. Yep. What do we think of it? Final judgments time.

Is it a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie we kind of like guys, I will say, I, you know, I cannot give a totally, I feel like objective review of Moonfall because because you wrote it because you wanted the credit in screen. No, because the first time I saw it was this 40x experience with my friends, you know, like we hadn't been out to a movie together in a while because of the world. And I was mildly stoned and I was being tossed around and had him in water squirted at me. And I, I laughed my ass off at this film. I had such a great time.

It was the most fun, like, bad movie experience I'd had, you know, since cats, it does not compare to cats, but it was, it was a lot of fun watching it at home for the second time. you know, I didn't have that same impact, but I still think that for me this is a good bad movie. But what do you guys think? Yeah, I mean, I think I'll go along with you and say that it's a good bad movie. Like Elliott said, it feels like it's written by an algorithm. It is, there's nothing, there's no moment of originality in the whole movie. But it's very silly.

And if you're looking for that, like, kind of like an echo of the like 90s heyday disaster, blockbuster sci-fi action movies, you're like your volcanoes, your independence days. I think this will give you enough of that memory, but also be very dumb. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm going to go along with it being a good, bad movie. There are times when it gets a little, I have to admit, once they get into space, it gets a little dollar to me. But it's, but there's so much, it's so dumb. And it's very fun to see how dumb it, so much of it is,

and how little things make sense, and how it's like characters act, like the characters in movies act in the parody movies, in like last action hero, and things like that. Like, it really feels like you've entered, yeah, this 90s, doomsday universe. It feels like a movie that, like, it wouldn't be out of place if it was like pitched as a

parody movie in like a comedy. Like if they're like making fun of Hollywood with these dumb movies. Yes, I will say if you I it didn't quite reach the threshold that Geostorm has for me. Where Geostorm all it's like Geostorm and Q's coming up with new things that are done from you're like okay, okay, so you're not going to show me the first time that humanity comes together to save the weather crisis. This is about after the fact. And then, but to later to the Secretary of Defense trying to use a storm to assassinate

the president. It's, that's a, this movie was not quite as, as beautifully stupid as that, but it's pretty stupid. You know what? Yeah, I mean, Geostorm feel,S. Storm feels original and it's stupidity. Yeah, yeah, they're really breaking new ground and stupid, but I will say this is a good, bad movie. If you wanna see,

if you wanna watch some dumb junk, then you could do worse, then they fall. Put that on the poster. I think the beauty of both of those, like G.S. Storm and this movie is like, we are entering the broke period of the disaster movie where all of the simpler disasters have been done. So people need to think of very weird premises. The idea that people at one point could be entertained by something as quaint as a volcano. And now, yeah, now we need the stimulation that could come with the moon crashing. Or back or back in the 70s when it's just like, oh no, a boat turned upside down.

There's a building on fire. Yeah. Uh, yeah, I mean, for an adventure, that's a pretty straightforward adventure. Yeah. Hey, when is it? And I, what do you think the future is going to be? Is it going to be like, we've got to, look, we've got to eat this black hole. That's the only way to save the earth. Everyone, grab your forks.

I know they're being sectioned to the black hole. Oh, as you sucked in, keep your mouth open. So you swallow a little bit of it. Yeah, you're Kirby now. You're Kirby now. Have you heard agent, have you heard of the Kirby project? Hey, everyone. We've got sponsors and one of them is Squarespace, which is the all-on-one platform for building

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it works. They call it in Britain. You know, today on the podcast, we talked a lot about mega structures, but now I'd like to talk a little bit about micro dosing. Awesome. Arshot sponsored. That's how you do it, Dan. How you do it.

Coming in hot. Arshod was sponsored by Microdose gummies. Microdose gummies deliver perfect entry level doses of THC to help you feel just the right amount of good. As a user of Microdose gummies, I find them to be very useful to take in the evening, to kind of chill me out and help me get a good night's sleep. to take in the evening to kind of chill me out and help me get a good night's sleep. I don't need to get like super high or anything. It's nice just feel a little bit kind of chill and relaxed and then go to sleep.

I enjoy it if I'm stressed all the time. Drawing, I find that it gives me a little creativity boost. Yeah, a little creative boost. Yeah. So, microdose gummies are available nationwide to learn more about microdosing THC. Just do a quick search online or go to microdose.com and use code flop to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in our show notes, but once again, that is micdose.com code follow up. We also have a jumbo-tron message.

That's right. It's a jumbo-tron time. This jumbo-tron is from Michael Bochamp. He says in a message that I didn't fully understand at first, but I think I get it now. It says, that man is in the corrector here, Prairie Previous Mini, where many episode gum doesn't stay in your stomach for seven years. However, I just started my own LLC as an automation consultant,

and I'm looking for clients, a business partner, and guidance, possibly an investor. I used Squarespace to set up the site, and I have an official LLC. I know the technical aspects of robotic process automation for office work, not factory, but no idea how to start a business. Visit my website and email me,

and that website is www.bochampsbusybots.com. That's www.boshams.com. B-U-S-Y-B-O-T-S.com. Bochamps Busy Bots. So if you're looking to get into the office automation business, get in touch with Michael Bochamp at bochampsbusybots.com. Looking for a business partner and just wanted to correct us about gum.

And also wanted to create us about gum. That's what, that there are two objectives to this message is what threw me off first, but. I would say that the business thing seems like the primary objective of the jumbo tron and the other thing is just sort of, an along the way correction. Probably.

So if you're looking to invest in or be involved in a new business, I guess can touch with them. Yeah. And I was hoping Dan that I could mention a personal project of mine while we have time. Listeners may know that I have another podcast right now. Sorry guys. What? I didn't mean to cheat on you. But I don't want to go break it. Oh, okay. It's part of his game that he plays. A game of love. I don't want to break your hearts, but this is a podcast from I Heart Radio. It's called The Who Was Podcast, and it's for kids.

This podcast we do now, The Flop House, very much not for children, and you should not let your children listen to it. So if your children are looking for something to listen to while you're listening to The Flop House, why not take them over to the who was podcast the who was podcast Dan I'll tell you is a quiz show for kids about historical figures and I co-host it with Megan O'Neill a former sketch partner of Dan's yeah, I wanted I yeah, that's why I was I wanted to mention Megan O'Neill very funny She used to be in a sketch group called mr. White pants that I was with and all right with my friends Roy Koshy,

Matt Koth who writes for the Daily Show now, Rob Morrison who was a great musician and Broadway actor. But I'm glad you could take my, you could take my spot for a thing that exists and turn into a spot for your sketch group. That doesn't perform anymore. I'm more just reminiscing and I'm happy that people seem to like, you know, have gone on to do great stuff. But so and Megan is a long time story pirates member. And so if your kids want to learn about history or just want to have a little bit of fun and you hope they pick up a factor to along the way, try the Who Was Podcast. It's available wherever you get your podcasts. The same just go to podcasts places. Just go. It's called The Who Was Podcast. It's a quiz show.

Hi, my name is Graham Clark and I'm one half of the podcast stop podcasting yourself. I show that we've recorded for many, many years. And at the moment, instead of being in person, we're recording remotely. And you wouldn't even notice. You don't even notice the lag. That's right, Graham. And the great thing about this, go ahead. No, you go ahead.

Okay. And go ahead. And you can listen to us every week on MaximumFun.org. Or wherever you get your podcasts. Your podcasts. Did your neighbor back into your car bring that case to Judge Judy? Think the mailman might be the real father? Give that one to Judge Mathis. But does your mom want you to flush her ashes down the toilet at Disney World when she

passes away? Now that's my jurisdiction. Welcome to the court of Judge John Hodgman, where the people are real. The disputes are real, and the stakes are often unusual. If I got arrested for dumping your ashes in the jungle cruise, it would be an honor. I don't want to be part of somebody getting a super yacht. I don't know at what point you want to go into this, but we've had a worm bin before. Available for you right now at MaximumFun.org. Judge John Hodgman, the court of last resort when your wife

won't stop pretending to be a cat and knocking the clean laundry over. Guys, we get letters from listeners. Don't tell us that we don't because that would be a lie. And I'm going to prove it. Can you prove it with some evidence by reading a couple to you guys? I forgot showed Dan really showed me the first. How does he? I was told he did a mile let hard. That's a letter.

But I know what? And it's why the unibomber called his bombs. I guess so. This is from Jill last name with held and it goes like this. In a recent episode, you talked about the way a double VHS set used to indicate a real cinematic experience. I think it was Stewart that mentioned heat as an example. Oh, yeah.

This jogged a memory that I hadn't thought about in a long time. Is that Obi-Wan Kenobi? Yeah, I was trying to do a bit of Kenobi. Yeah, it was pretty good. I mean, my parents were from an older generation, generally really prudish about media, trying to shield even the teenage me from swearing, violence, and a general category.

They always labeled as smut, which range from mild sexual in-in-you window, a la Golden Girls to outright sex scenes. So, if my mom brought home a movie rental from the local convenience store for me to watch with my friend on sleepovers, you would usually depend on it being pretty mild fare. So imagine the surprise of my 14 year old self and my friend when we popped in the movie my mom had written for us, a double VHS set of heat. It didn't take long to recognize this was a virtual catalog of everything we were not supposed to be watching.

We giggled through the whole illicit thing, including what I have since heard with the longest shootout scene in film history. It was so long that we eventually we had to turn in and finish it the next morning, which now brought the risk that one of my parents would walk into the room and realize the mistake they had made and forced us to shut it off. But by now, we were deeply invested in the lives and careers, criminal or otherwise of Neil McCauley and Vincent Hannah and managed to finish it with a sound low and the door closed. To this day, I have no idea what possessed my mom to rent this for us, nor what movie she

thought she was renting. But when Stuart, she thought she was renting Manana of the Spring. But when Stuart. It's like a new series, but would you do it? It would also not be the best movie for what that mom is going for. That's like a new scene, is it? But would you do it? It's a toss, bro. It would also not be the best movie for what that mom is going for. Box set, it really made me laugh to think about it again.

Jill last name with health. I just thought that was a nice story. That's great. That's a great story. That is a great story. I love the idea that they're like, I need something, I need something for these kids that's not gonna have anything to adult.

Mm, heat. Who's the director? Michael Mann. Okay. He sounds, he's human at least. I imagine that, I imagine that a, she saw body heat. It was, it was in the hot section. And she saw body heat and she said, that sounds too sexy, just heat. Okay. That sounds less sexy. Take the body out of this. Yeah. Oh, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro.

You know, kids love them. Do you have this without the body? You're in luck, we do. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Kids love Al Kilmer, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. Uh, okay, this one is from Sadie last name with held.

Who writes, dear peaches, I've been listening to your older episodes of my commute tune from worth work and a conversation during the Ouija episode about unironic fans of terrible movies reminded me of a mostly related situation. Okay. That's what we love mostly related. My dear great uncle. That's, I, sometimes I'll just go to the mostly unrelated or mostly related festivals in my town. And it's just great to see what they play. You know, my dear great uncle, John is a quiet man

and a gentle soul as long as I can remember. Did we fall into an episode of Prairie Home Campaign? Down at the, okay, I can't even remember the thing. Like I listened to that so much when I was a kid because my parents listened to it. And I can't even remember enough to make a reference now so long. As long as I can remember, his favorite activities have been fishing and to sitting peacefully by a crackling fire. I do not think I've heard him talk about movies

more than once in my life. The only exception being is infamous tie to cinematic history, having built a fence that ended up in several scenes of the crucible, whether he built it for the set or built it prior to filming for non-crucible reasons and just happened to be there is unclear. He is a man of few words. Cut to two years ago, we're at his youngest daughter's wedding. For some bizarre reason, whoever made the seating chart decided parents of the bride, parents of the groom, one lone lesbian second cousin, was a normal way to seat people, placing my parents

and brother on the other side of the weird hipster wedding barn without me. The father of the groom, apropos of nothing, decided to break the silence of five people eating with you ever seen water world. You let me know exactly how much he loads the water world. I don't remember the details. I don't really care about my second cousin's father and laws hot takes on one world. When he was done, Michael John, this is all I've ever wanted to talk about at a wedding. Yeah, I was so loving if someone just turned to me, is that he ever seen a war world. A total stranger wants to talk about what's a,

wants to grind their ax on their problems with water world. I am there for it and invite me to that wedding. Yeah. When he was done, my uncle John softly said, I like water world. Hell yeah. I think that trimoran is neat. Is that how it's pronounced? I do. I don't world. Hell yeah. I think the trimoran is neat. Is that how it's pronounced?

I do. I don't know. Okay. Yes, you're the little water head. That's the boat. I don't know. I think so. The father of the groom turned to him like Uncle John just

voiced the most controversial obscene opinion he'd ever heard and said, what are you? Some kind of idiot? Yes. Uncle John wounded went back to eating his tiny fancy cupcake. Later he told me it was of, in fact, his favorite movie. Oh, poor Uncle John. I've not seen Waterworld nor do I intend to, but I've decided that for the sake of my Uncle John, I like this terrible movie. Every time I see something related to it now,

I think of him, I even nearly bought him a water-rolled model trimoran at a yard sale, I guess it must be the boat. But my mom talked me into it. I don't know how that made you realize it was a boat. Well, a model, I mean, like, I don't think it could be a model of a character named trimoran.

That's true. I got three eyes. I don't think you would refer to it as a model. He's named Trimoran. That's true. Is that three eyes? Mm-hmm. I don't think you would refer to it as a model. He's three Cheech Marins and one. That's why he's the Trimoran. But my mom talked me into just taking a picture of it for him. What would he do with it? That's in quotes.

I... That's such a parent thing to say. Yeah. It may be... People hate getting gifts. What would they do with them? It may be as terrible as the podcast say, but knowing it exists and bizarre and bizarrely makes this dear old man happy warms my heart. So I suppose my question is this. Are there any movies or other

media that you don't enjoy or have never seen, but you're just happy knowing it exists? Thanks. Sadie last name with hell. I, you know, I... First tell us what you feel about water world. It's okay, it's a little long. Like I don't think it's anywhere near as bad as people say. It's like, no, not at all. Got a lot of cool stuff in it.

I remember liking it as a kid, but I also didn't have the cool taste I have now, as an adult. but I also didn't have the cool taste I have now as an adult. I, like, I think we've said similar, we've said this before, but like, I like the idea of trauma movies more than I like them in reality. I like that there's someone out there really keeping the spark of just,

we're gonna put put out sorry, give me a key man in my PD dumb trash and a very like carnival barker side show like sort of way and that's going to be our business model. But I don't particularly enjoy, like none of them are as clever or as interesting as I want them to be. And I feel that way about a lot. Like, I have so many books about dumb exploitation movies that I know are more pleasurable for me to read about than actually sit down and watch because a lot of them just have like long boring stretches in them.

Well, and even even the parts that are kind of exciting or interesting to read about, when you watch them often like, it's like, I feel that way, similarly, about a lot of the like grind house exploitation movies where it's like, anytime I've ever tried to sit down and watch one of them, it makes me uncomfortable. Like, I don't like it. Like, it's, you know, the, it's often like the thing we read about like the most, the like, most extreme grind house movies ever made. And you're like, that sounds, that sounds bizarre. But then you try

to watch it and it's either boring or it's like, oh, this is, this is making me like, I'm, this is unpleasant. You have this is not sift through a lot of the, like, Utrei classic stuff, I'm one that's actually fun to watch. Yeah. So those are good answers. What do you, do you look like you're thinking hard, Elliott? I mean, I don't really have a movie answer, although that, if I had thought of it, that would have been my answer. I think that I like that people are making kind of strange trash, but I don't really want to watch it.

But the, I think when I heard this question, it was the, or other media that got to me. And I started thinking about the Wu Tang Clan, where I'm not a rap guy. I don't really, it's just not my kind of music. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just not my taste. But there's something about knowing that there's this elaborate collective of guys who have had these long careers making rap that is based in this strange amalgamation of like city life and martial arts movies and comic books and like their own mythology

of alter egos and things like that. That I like hearing about it and I like knowing it exists. But I don't really know. It's very complicated. Yes, and I love hearing, when it's one of those where I like hearing people make reference to it and knowing that it's that this galaxy of people and creators and concepts is out there.

But I don't want to sit down and listen to the music. It's just not my taste, but I'm glad it's out there. Yeah, I mean, I feel like, especially as I get older, I encounter more and more media that is not necessarily directed to me and might not fit my taste, but I'm like, you know what, I'm glad there's stuff for everybody out there. I mean, when it comes to movies, like I've always said that like, I've never a huge fan of Kevin Smith's movies, but he seems like a nice guy and I'm glad he gets to make movies. Yeah.

And it's the same thing with Wes Anderson. Like, I'm not a huge Wes Anderson fan, but I'm glad that he's making these like specific movies to him that a lot of people love. Like I'm glad that there is that kind of, like that's part of the cinema world. Yeah, and I don't know, like a lot of pop music isn't my thing, but it makes people happy. It doesn't seem to be hurting anyone. It's nice when there's a feeling that not that one thing is something for everybody,

but that there is something for everybody. There are things available for everybody. And there's no people, I feel like there's a lot of bemoaning the loss of a monoculture. But it means that not everybody has to pretend that, like imagine if Moonfall was the one movie that was coming out. Yeah. And like we all had to go see Moonfall and everybody had to see it. Like everyone from my grandma to me, to my mom to my kids had to go see Moonfall.

Like that's kind of the way movie is used to be. And it's nice that it's not that way as much. Yeah. Well, and look, not to get politically again, but I think that a lot of, well, I mean, I think that another bad habit of a lot of more toxic dudes is to think that everything should be for them and get angry when it's not and not understand why it's not like, like, you know, like, there's the weird review by that guy of turning red, where he's like, I don't, you know, like, why is this about a Canadian Chinese girl? Like, who, who is this for? And I'm like, well, number one,

what a fucking door should be able to, like, part of the beauty of movies is like, like, Roger Ebert called them empathy machines. Like, it's to put yourself in a, in a different person and to like, recognize people's universal humanity. But even if it's not for you, like that's fine too. You know, like it's for someone else out there who needs that movie. Well, that was one of the things that Roger Ebert was good at. And I have my issues with that empathy machine line just because I think it undercuts how dangerous movies can be.

That movies can also create hatred as well. But that like the, but that one of the things Roger, but in a lot of his reviews, as he got older at least, when he was younger, not so much, but as he got older, he'd be like, this isn't what I'm looking for, but it does what it's doing really well. So if you like this kind of thing,

you're gonna like it, you know, that he didn't have to be his personal taste from to recognize at least the level of quality or that it would satisfy a certain audience's appetite. But it's similar, like there's been a renaissance in the last, I don't know, 10 or 20 years in romance novels and both the quality and the variety of them and I don't want to read romance novels, but I'm glad they're out there and I'm glad that people who do like reading romance

novels have a greater selection of quality things to read and things that they're going to, they're going to enjoy more. So like, it's nice when, like I say, it's nice when there are things for everybody and it's not everybody just having to make do with the same, the same stuff, you know, because eventually we're just living in that repo man world, you know, where it's just a can that says food on it. That's all you get. That's, that's all you get. Um, hey, let's move on to our final segment of the show, which is where we

recommend movies that we liked. In this case, non-ironically, we go kind of liked Mootful as a silly thing, but like, what's something that's maybe good? Here's a, I mean, because none of us are making the argument that Mootful is good. That's a good bad, but. Yeah. Here's a movie that I saw at a weird Wednesday presentation at the Alamo, and I enjoyed

it. I would say I enjoyed it quite a bit, but it also has, it's got its flaws, let's say. It's called Delta Space Mission. It was the first Romanian-ful-length animated movie, although when I say full-length, it's under 70 minutes. It's from 1984. I will say it is subtitled, but the actors, it's subtitling. Like it's one case where maybe it would work better, dub because the actors who are, whose voices are in it are not providing any emotion or character to their characters. And it is a baffling plot. Like it is hard

to sort of understand everything that is going on. But you don't, you only need to understand the most basic level, which is there's a super smart, super computer that falls for a sexy alien reporter and then sends a bunch of spaceships and robots to try and kidnap her. But you don't watch it for the plot. It is the weak part of the film. The interesting part of the movie is just the visual style. It is a weird, semi-psychedelic animated space opera. I, you know, I'm looking at my letter box review because I wanted to recall what I wrote down and I said, it's equal parts, Peter Max, Old Sesame Street cartoon short, heavy metal comics, the Star Trek filmation series, and illustrations from the 70s, high school

science textbook. And like a lot of it is done in rotoscoping, which gives it this like weirdly hyper realism, hyper realistic movement to go along with the strange style. And then some of it's just, you know, old fashioned limited cell animation and not that great, but always just sort of startling to look at. And, you know, it, it drags a bit at parts even at its time, but it is, if you want something that feels like it has been sort of being done from another world, the Delta Space Mission has that vibe.

It's great. I'm gonna recommend a movie that I don't probably doesn't need me to champion it because it was nominated for a best picture this year. I'm gonna recommend Drive My Car, Japanese movie directed by Riyosuke Hamaguchi. I believe I said that right. And it's based on a Hiroki Murakami story

and I haven't read the story, but it definitely feels like a Murakami story. It's just someone spent a lot of time folding their laundry or making pasta in the middle of the day. I mean, it feels it's, well, the main character is a middle-aged man who does not communicate his feelings for most of the movie. But it's a, so the movie is about a man who loses his wife and loses his wife. And years later he is kind of coping with that while producing a production of a the play Uncle Vanya for a festival. And it's a play that he had a deep connection to, and he and his wife had a connection to, and it kind of follows him and some of the characters,

some of the people that are involved in this production, and he has to examine his grief about his wife, and also he forms a connection with the young woman who drives, has to drive his car. And it's great. Yeah, check it out. It's, it's long. It's three hours long.

I mean, there's a moment, 40 minutes in when they drop the credits. And I'm like, oh shit. We're in it, baby. And that's whaling around. The movie's really starting now. Yeah, it's great. It's great. Elliot. I'm going to recommend a movie that sounds very different from that. I'm going to

recommend the movie A Field in England directed by Ben Wheatley and written by Amy Jump. And this is a movie. It is an hour and a half long. It is much shorter, but it really feels like you've been through a real quest experience. On unpleasant. Sometimes unpleasant, sometimes not. It's set during the English Civil War, and there is a guy who basically is trying to run away from an assignment. He is given to catch an alchemist to a stolen somethings from the alchemist who is his master, and he meets up with a soldier and then eventually falls under the power of that bad guy alchemist. And a lot of it is these different, is this, this small group of a 17th century Englishman wandering around kind of complaining about the 17th century in ways that I found very funny a lot of the time.

And, but then about two thirds in it becomes, it becomes very strangely hallucinatory and and loses its bearings to a certain extent. It's a movie where, looking at it from purely from a, does this plot make sense point of view? It does not totally make sense. But I enjoyed it a lot and I thought it was ultimately funny and also offsetting and discomforting and it's just a strange little movie. And considering it is a movie that is mostly

five guys just wandering around in a field, I thought it was. They can hamburger. Yeah. What? They can hamburger. They can hamburger. They can hamburger. They can hamburger. They can hamburger.

They can hamburger. They can hamburger. They can hamburger. They can hamburger. They can hamburger. They can hamburger. They can hamburger. They can hamburger. They can hamburger. They can hamburger. That's for five napkins burger. But it's all

sharp. The real hearty. It's all sharp and light and I thought it looks really good. So it's my movie that I'm recommending, but it's a your mileage may vary with it, but I liked a lot. It's called a field in England. Well, guys, I'm going to suggest that we release Stewart from his wizard's curse. Yeah. that's what I call a hangover. No, that that curse that curse is that he has to like wizard magazine cast all the comic movies in the 1990s, using only stars that look kind of like the characters in the movies. Oh, people are so into it. But I want to encourage you, if you like the show, go over to maximumfund.org.

That is our podcasting network. There are a lot of other great shows on the network. I'm sure that if you like the show, you like at least one other one. And yeah, hey, just take it, you know, take a shot, give it a try. Why not? Try the new choices. Yeah, I want to say that if you're interested in merch or other things, you can go to our website flopaspodcast.com.

You can check us out. We got a Twitter. We got an Instagram. We got a YouTube channel. And I want to thank our producer, Alex Smith, who is Howell Daudi on Twitter. That's H-O-W-E-L-L-D-A-W-D-Y, I think. And that's it, guys. Stuart's already looking at his phone. Yeah, checking them DMs who's slitting this today.

Yeah, so this has been great. That's a great way to comment. Let's take that as a no comment. Uh, for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kaylen. Bye! Bye!

Bye! Hey, good? Just trying to make sure my mic is pointed up my mouth and my titties. You don't want it to pick up your muffle noise. That was the name of your band, and I ain't not listening to Stuart and Nipple Noise. Yeah, it was a fun and it was a fine core band. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and Culture. Corband. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture.

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