The Flop House - Ep. #389 - Poker Face

Episode Date: February 11, 2023

No, not Rian Johnson and Natasha Lyonne's riff on Columbo, Poker Face, nor even Lady Gaga's early hit single. The Poker Face we discuss in this episode is a Russell Crowe project through and through, with him not only starring, but writing and directing as well! It's nice that the man is branching out. Too bad this movie takes so damn long to figure out what it's about!Wikipedia page for Poker FaceMovies recommended in this episode:The People's JokerInfinity PoolGuillermo Del Toro's PinocchioCalifornia SplitEver tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.

On this episode we discuss poker face Russell Crowe's tribute to the late great lady Gaga Something that will be a joke. Yeah, I'm gonna be sad. I mean dear god, I'm Dan McCloy. Hey everybody, it's me, Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin and I couldn't be more excited that we're doing a live show on Sunday, April 2nd at 7 30 PM at the bellhouse in Brooklyn talking about battlefield earth. Dan, what are we doing this podcast? Well, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. And for this episode, you did that. I remember you saying, Elliot, hey, a listener said, why don't you check

out this Russell Crowe movie poker face? And we thought Russell Crowe, he's not done a bad movie recently. No, no, I, you know, he's an excellent actor who has made some confounding choices along the way. I'm going to hear this and get mad at you. I don't understand. I mean, you might throw a phone in me. I might throw a phone in this fair. I will say I'm kind of enjoying late career

or made career. I don't know why he's gonna live. I don't wanna, he was one of the best things about Thor 11th under by a long time. Yeah, I'm gonna be the only best there. Wow. No, he's okay. He can't be. Marvel come after me. Come after me for a big, small character. Stewart. He's huge. And he has a big hammer.

And he gets very mad. That's true. He's a much like the Hemsworth. Well, I like this movie poker face. I like it. More than Stewart. And I still thought Russell Crowe was probably as strong as I was. But I was thinking about that this morning, about this movie that Russell Crowe, there was a point where it was like, people were like, this is a great actor. Like this is like Russell Crowe in the insider, Russell Crowe in gladiator, as much as that's, you know, a movie that in retrospect is a much do about nothing. Like Russell Crowe in the quick and the mother fucking dead, dude. Yeah, like he's, he's in a lot of really good stuff, and yet I feel like somehow Russell Crowe

has gotten to the kind of the, where Nicholas Cage was not too long ago in the public mind, without going through a period of doing insane things, you know, without doing roles that are, you know, bonkers or madness or anything like that. We're also his, like, his burly pal, Gerard Butler, the Scottish, R Usual Crow. Like I feel like as his career has like kind of gone, it's starting to rise back up again after taking a dip. And I think Crow is like, they're meeting each other maybe in the middle. Like, they're a lot of similar projects.

They're continuing. Yeah. A baron crossroads. But this was not only starring Russell Crowe. What was that fucking Russell Crowe movie where he was the angry guy driving a truck? What was that one? Uh, unhinged. That one was bonkers.

Just like normally when you see Russell Crowe in a movie, you assume he's hinged. Yeah. This movie he is absolutely not hinged. I really think he is. We're not attached to. I mean, if you're looking for just like sort of a dumb and dirty thriller, that one was pretty

fun. It's gross. Yeah. I've not seen a one. I've got it. I was unaware of unhinged. Anyway, imagine a trailer that uses like what was it like heart shaped box, but like a slowed down version of heart shaped box. I can't slowed down version of heart shaped box. I can't possibly imagine.

Oh, man. That's not true. I can't imagine. It's beyond the realms of human creativity. Let me shoot up for a quick. But speaking of not hearing of things, none of us had heard of poker face until it was recommended to us. And so a lizard whose name I apologize I should have written down, a listener got in touch

with him and said, you should do this movie poker face. And I was like, Russell Crowe wrote it and directed it. Any stars in it. And the plot sounds like there's a lot going on in it, which was the opposite of what actually happens in the movie. And most of the music is written by him as well. Yeah, this is Russell Crowe. He's a real quadruple.

He's a quintuple threat. He's an actor. I can only assume he painted all the paintings in the fucking house. And the final fifth threat is that the movie is not very good. I'm gonna push back on there not being a lot happening in the movie. I think that the thing is not that there's not a lot happening in the movie, it's that there are a lot of things happening that don't really connect up with one another in any way. And the pace of it is very lack of a day's of cool. So it's like, so when I read the plot of the movie,

I was like, just the brief summary of it before we choose to, I was like, this movie is probably gonna be pretty nutsy. Like, there's so much stuff, but then watching it, it really feels like Russell Crowe is like, now I'm going to do this, and now that is done onto the next thing,

and now that is done, and onto the next. And the, we'll get to this in final judgements, I said, but the movie, the movie never really pushes the characters into the place of darkness that it implies they're, they're in at the beginning. There's so much stuff happening that instead of choosing a title that's been done many times before, that title being poker face, they should have chosen a different title that has been done before. They should have called this movie the happening. Especially because of the, the theater that they all put on in the panic room, the small black box theater production. Yeah, we should we should make sure the audience knows this is not about the

song poker face actually or about the TV show, the recent TV show poker face. Yeah, you know, lovely film, our pal John Hodgman appears on it. I'm told I've not seen that episode yet, but I'm excited. You've been avoiding that episode, right? John Hodgman appears on it. I'm told I've not seen that episode yet, but I'm really excited. You've been avoiding that episode, right? We've just watched the first two. He's not the first two. Well, because every, ever since you saw the episode of Mozart in the Jungle where he appears nude, you have been loathed to turn on a John Hodgman show just in case.

You see more Hodg, more Hodgman than you Hodg Martin for. Because I fear that nothing can top it at Ellie. I will go all the way. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. You should have quit at that moment can top it at LA. I will go all the way. Only be disappointed. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. You should have quit at that moment like D'Amejio. No, I mean, this movie, like I get this weird feeling that Russell Crowe being the writer,

director, star is like, no, this is really a movie. This is like a character study about a man dealing with like coming to terms with his own mortality. So I'm not going to give you the cheap genre thrill. I think that's probably true. I think that's probably true. Long as possible. Say what you will about this movie. If the, if the, if the measure of art is whether we're about to, and we're going to say a lot of it.

But say if the measure of art is how much the artist is communicating what's on their soul at the moment, then this is a masterpiece because that's clearly, this is clearly stuff that is really weighing heavily on Russell Crowe. Now, the way he communicates it is done poorly in a way that is in refusing us those genre thrills is also extremely boring. But you can tell that this is very important to him, that this is like, that this is something he had, he probably had to do, you know, because otherwise why do it? If you don't have to make this movie, why bother making? Yeah. Just enjoy your, you know, I assume. I mean, I'm assuming the tax incentives from the Australian government were pretty good. Yeah, pretty, pretty fantastic. And this is the most like, this is the most like, like, Australian extravagance you're going to see on screen. Like, they got a hemz worth to be in it and then they made them all like old looking.

They put it in the photo. They put in old times where they put in Chris Hemsworth's wife is in this too. Oh, really? Yeah, she's the dealer is the poker dealer. We'll get to that. But the fact that they brought in Liam Hemsworth, who is supposed to be an old childhood friend of Russell Crowe, but he's 25 years younger than Russell Crowe. So they put Old Makeup on him, which makes him look like an even younger man pretending

to be an old man. Not since Prometheus have I seen such misguided old age makeup on an actor. On another Australian. On another. Exactly. It doesn't get more Australian than Guy Pierce. Okay. So let's talk about what happens in this movie guys. Okay, we start out.

It's the 1970s in Australia. We're introduced to a couple of teenage best friends Jake and Drew, they're riding their bikes, they go to a lake, they go swimming. Some other friends that they're show up will lead to learn that this is Mikey, Paul and Alex. They play poker together. They love playing poker. I guess the cards didn't get wet when they were swimming in the old swimming hole.

I don't know. Or maybe the friends brought the car back to you. That's the original waterproof phone case. I want to say, did you guys have the same problem I did with this opening, which is like, I thought like the kids were not particularly distinct enough right away for me to like be like, oh, you know, I know the difference between all of these kids and I can't wait to see them as adults.

Yes, very much so. And I was like, I hope this is not that important because I don't know what's happening. And then I was like, thank God it wasn't important. It wasn't important at all. Part of the problem is that it's like, you know, ever since what is it, the world's end, that masterfully explains characters as kids. And then later on, you're like, okay, this is what's like ever since that, you have to at least get close to that level.

Yeah. I mean, it doesn't do as good a job as it in doing the same thing. And so you don't know the kids names, really. They play poker in one of them. I guess it's Mikey, I'm not sure. I don't remember. He's like, oh, but I need some of that money to pay for my mom's medicine. And Jake goes, I'll give you $10 if you jump off this waterfall.

And they're arguing about it. But before he can jump, an older kid shows up and starts bullying them. And only later in the movie did I piece together that must be Paul's brother Victor, who becomes the villain of the movie. And he's bullies them. And instead of just stealing their money, he plays poker with Jake and loses and gets so mad that the kids all the younger teens run away by jumping off that waterfall. And Jake goes, Hey, you jumped to the waterfall.

I'll give you that $10 and Mikey goes, I stole it anyway. And they laugh and go all the way home. Okay. Now guys, they're, they may be rogues, but they're honorable. Yes. And this and everything is shot in the glow of golden light. It is like it is constantly 556 p.m. when this is going on.

Because now a year later, Jake has grown up into Russell Crowe and he is well, as we'll learn, terminally ill, but he's also terminally sad. He is a billionaire who is just kind of glumly walking through an art gallery, having flashes of sad memories. And of course, when a middle aged man is being sad in our gallery, there's only one thing

that's going to happen. A young woman is going to come up and say, can I paint your portrait and submit it for a major portrait competition? Yep. And a show. So this is, this has come so far out of nowhere that I was convinced. I was convinced until the last scene of the movie, which by the way, Stewart takes place after the first credit of the film.

So you might have missed it. Yeah. But it does not come back into play. Like I was convinced this is such a bizarre out of nowhere thing. And I'm like, oh, this is part of whatever scam is going to be run later on. Especially the fact that she was like getting him on camera, saying his name name like I'm like, oh, this has to play in somehow No, say Dan, you thought what you thought was a clunky way of getting him into a con was just a clunky way of releasing exposition into the wild so that he would say out loud with his name age and gambling

Professionals Stewart yes guys guys I take a lot of heat on this podcast for stop of movie early or not seeing the post credit scenes, but the thing is, I think that's just my elite mindset where I realize I know who's won this movie. I can leave early, maybe beat traffic. So watch movies the same way my dad would take us to baseball games. Yeah, yeah, around the six or seven, then he'd go, well, time to go, we'll get home faster. We'll listen to the end on the radio. I can wrap this up, Maybe play a little bit of Sekiro at home who won the movie. Russell Crowell, he did everything. Yeah, of course, that's the first one.

Well, he's dead at the end. Spoilers. Yeah, all right. So jealous. I mean, the ultimate win. They can't get him out of it anymore. And he died rich, which as you know, he brought, he took it with him, you know. Yeah, he's left his valetiers.

Yeah, exactly. I guess he did win. So the, uh, and the flop house is in no yeah, he's left this veil tears. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, did win. So the, uh, and the flop house is in no way implying that death means winning or that you should chase or even you're an after death or anyway, what? Go ahead and fear the Reaper. It's fine. We're just joking about it.

Life is wonderful. And some would say beautiful even even Roberto Bidini would say that. And, and you should, you should hold on tight to it as much as you can. And if this moment of life, and if this moment of life doesn't have to be beautiful, just wait, because there's another one coming along, and it's going to be much better. So, okay, moving on, Jake needs to be told this, because Jake is sad.

And he drives for a long time while veowing about his life. And when I say he drives, I mean, we see footage from outside of a car driving. We rarely see Russell Crowe inside of it. And he has a long veo about how he had these close childhood friends, but lately they've been pulling apart. Drew was his best friend. They played every kind of poker.

And then for about 15 seconds, he just lists kinds of poker games. And eventually they invented the first online poker system they got very rich. And they somehow turns that first online poker system into a computerized surveillance system of all phones, text, and online data, which is called riffle, and that made them even richer. So they're now essentially villains at this point.

Yeah. Yeah. And just. No, that's an interesting thing about this movie as a whole. Once we assemble our crew, like I'm like, do I like anyone? I mean, I don't think that I need to. I'm not one of those people. I sometimes it's very thrilling to watch a movie

where I can, you know, disconnect my morgue compass for a while and like watch an anti-hero. But they're none of them, but they're all like kind of charmless too. They're like either sad or cd or like cruel. It's really asking a lot for us to now watch a movie about a very rich man worrying about mortality in his relationships without seeming to without really wanting to admit that he has done something very bad in creating a tool that allows anyone on earth to be tracked in every way possible.

And later on when he's like, he's like, as a prank, we decided to use riffle to go after you and he found that information we shouldn't have known. It's like, no, no shit dude, like no doubt. But anyway, Jake's philosophy of life, the thing is it's all about poker. Like all great men, he sees life as being about risk

and bedding and knowing when to walk away. And the only way that he can interact with this beautiful creation that God has made for us great men, he sees life as being about risk and bedding and knowing when to walk away. And the only way that he can interact with this beautiful creation that God has made for us is through gambling and stakes and card game metaphors. So Jake, he's going to a private mystical retreat like many aging billionaires. He has to get right with God with this aging Australian guru who I only found it later is played by Jack Thompson who was the defense attorney in Breaker, Morant, one of the truly great Australian movies,

like just a fantastic movie. He's this, but since I didn't know that when I was watching it, I just thought he was a weirdly white guru. He's like, you're dying, aren't you, Jake? And he's like, yeah, I am. And Jake, you're afraid of Jake, you're afraid of dying. You're afraid of dying. And they do some kind of Iowaska-ish thing, but we don't actually see Jake do anything.

But all we do is kind of stare into the distance as everything gets trippy and echoey. And there's slowed down shots of playing cards. Yeah, he holds a guitar. He holds a guitar. The guru plays sad harmonica, which if that was the minute the guru took out the harmonica, if I was Jacob, I'd be like, I'm out. I don't care how high I am. How much I need to do my inner soul. I can do the part to piano, man. Hold on. And Jake relives memories of his first wife dying in a car crash. And at the end of it, the guru hands as all licensed gurus. Do he hands him a case containing a drug? And

he says, hey, in small doses, this creates honesty in people, but in large doses, it's lethal. So here's some poison. Thanks for joining us. Yeah. Well, I mean, he is implied. It's like some people want to go out on their own terms. You know, he's like saying, if this is, if you don't rather than pancreatic cancer, which is what we learn later that he has, like, if this is what you want. But it is such a, I mean, after a few false, like, things that I thought were going to play into the movie and then didn't finally like I was able to be like, well, this, the

most obvious thing that's going to come up later must come up later. The fact that this is poisonous and large does. Yeah. Although oddly, the fact that it is, I guess, a truth serum doesn't really come up like when he doses his friends and I guess the idea is supposed to be that that's going to break things down a little bit, but that doesn't really, that's not really what happened. I mean, it is kind of in that they do come clean about things, but they probably would have done the same thing under the effects of alcohol and stress.

Yeah. So. And promise of money. He told them at that point, oh, I've poisoned you. Yeah. You're saying he didn't have to actually poison them. He could have just gone through. He just got, she could have just said.

Yeah. Anyway, this is, I mean, this is also a section where clearly again, this is very meaningful to Russell Crowe, but you're like, what am I watching? Why am I watching this? This guy just goes through this, this kind of vague ceremony. Anyway, Jake goes back to his high rise, Sydney apartment. He's got a view of the opera house and everything. His second life is taking bops.

I just like going to movie places at forest, you know? Like it really, yeah, it builds a world. And that world is called Australia. Yep. There was a whole lot of air running around in the foreground. There's probably a Hemsworth in it. You know there's a Hemsworth in the woods somewhere. His second wife is taking boxing lessons.

She does not look happy with him, maybe because he's been off Iowas gang for days. I don't know. And he has a teenage daughter that he's clearly close to. And she comes up and asks him for a lot of money to buy an expensive denim jacket. And then she says she misses her mom and they bond over that. And then we get this. And I gotta say, like, wouldn't she already have like a fucking credit card or something? Why does she need cash cash that seems wild? I, I, because he's like, he's a tech guy like, my guess, yes, is he's one of those tech

guys who no longer trust technology. He's like, I know too much about how it's done. We're only using cash from now on. Like my, because he has piles of cash everywhere in his houses. Like he's all about bricks of touch. Well, also just because he's wealthy doesn't mean that he wants his daughter to have like access to essentially unlimited funds. And it's also, and it's also probably a game of control and power that he wants the people in his life

to have to come to him to ask for things. And yeah, then he gets to be the Santa Claus who hands stuff out goodies in exchange. He gets to choose the portions. Wow, you've made my dad. And so then we get a flashback montage of Jake talking to his lawyer, Sam, about setting up a financial trust. And Sam says the word trust like a billion times.

And it's maybe the least subtle thing in the movie, which is already not subtle. He's just like a trust. Well with a trust, there's also a trust, a trust. I'm like, he says it more times than Dave Mustaine does in that song on cryptic writings. Is it called trust? I believe it's called trust, yeah. He plays and Jake plays with the truth serum case.

He looks up some stuff on his computer and then his wife is mad at him and he gives, he goes, I'm sorry for whatever, which is maybe the worst apology ever. He goes, I'm sorry, she goes for what? And he goes, apply, wear needed. Jake's friends, this is where the plot kicks in. They've been invited to a big poker. That's it. Well, this is where the plot lurches towards its next stage, like a kind of a massive

kind of a beast-jill behemoth, which has nothing but its raw instincts and a sort of mating sense to drive it into one place. As in this James Dittitri story, I just finished reading the other night, where these huge, these monstrous kind of crustaceans are just slamming into a beach as they are driven mad by this mating call that they need. And they're destroying a human colony on this alien planet because all they can see and care about is this, this hormonal burst that is forcing them to do this thing that will end with them dying and then creating another generation. That's what this movie is like. So anyway, Jay, wait, what happens

next in your story? Yes, it's more interesting plot. It's really good. I mean, if you have to find out, you'll, don't, don't take my word for it. Pick up her spoke rose up forever by James Tiptrade, Jr. at your local library, maybe fan amp, reading rainbow. So Jake's friends have invited this poker night and they show up in the lobby as building. And now we see them growing up. There's Mikey, who is Liam Hemsworth. Again, 25 years younger than Russell Crowe, but made up to look like an older version of himself. Looks like shit. He's wearing like a poorly fitted like track suit. Yeah. He's got lines drawn on his face. That's the biggest sin for Stewart. Get your tracksuit fitted. Come on. Everybody else is wearing like suits and shit. Yeah. Who's this track suit tailor fire that guy? And he's kind of like a scruffy alcohol.

Like, there's Paul who's now a government minister. And as he walks in, there's just reporters being like, Paul, Paul, what about this report? And he's like, I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. I help people. I'm going to help the people who I need it. Like, it's the most generic thing I've politician could say. And there's Alex, who is a writer who we see kissing Jake's wife. Uh oh. And like kissing for like friends. No, not the kissing for like more than friends. I think they like like Oh, wow, an official couple. Yeah, well, they're not official. So it's a kiss kiss. Was there a bank bank? We do find out later. There was at least one bank bank because we find out that she's carrying his baby. So meanwhile, there's a mean old man who's talking

angrily to someone on the phone in an interbelly, not like a sack or something that'd be crazy. Okay, when you said it, dance, that'd be crazy. Yeah. Okay. When you said it, dance, they're looking around the room to see what he would carry a baby. Oh, yeah. I don't know if you know. I mean, that seems kind of mean because then you get your hands free. Yeah, I guess you're right.

Yeah. You don't have the way. We're carrying technology. You just keep it in your belly and your uterus until it's ready. Yeah. You don't got to slap up a tote bag or something. Ironically, you know, who's got the best version of that? Marciubioles. Thanks, Australia. That baby because our real little stick it in a pouch, said it and forget it. up a tote bag or something. Ironically, you know, who's got the best version of that?

Marciobials, thanks Australia. That baby, because I'm real little, take it in a pouch, set it and forget it. Don't think about it and it pops out when he can walk on his own. Marciobials, you got it, you got the right idea. So let's hear it everybody. For kangaroos. The people who finally figured out the perfect life hack

to pregnancy. Yeah. All right. Oh, okay. So Sam, the lawyer, he's, oh, and there's the mean old man who's talking angrily to someone on the phone at the bar. At a bar somewhere. Sam not Zaybars, a bar. If he was at Zaybars, they'd say, excuse me, sir, people are trying to buy expensive cheese. Can you please step outside? It's hard for people to shop for white fish. Well, you are talking some angrily on the phone. So Sam, the lawyer, he goes, hey, Jake's friends,

we're gonna go to the garage. You're each gonna take, choose a luxury car from this garage, and then you're gonna race to Jake's seaside vacation house. But Mikey, because you've been drinking, I'm gonna drive you. And again, we watched these cars driving and racing around for a while.

It is the least exciting race I've ever seen. Yeah. And the slowest 90 minute movie. Yeah, for a movie, it's a movie that certainly feels long. You're in some kind of time dilation effect zone, because it feels much longer than it is. Meanwhile, Jake is flying out on a hot copter, and he is on the phone with someone

will later learn his Drew, now played as an adult by the Rizza. And they're, they're talking about how he's like they were an Australian actor. Yep, Ken Berrazone, Rizza and the Drew was like, you sure you want to do this and he's like, it's time we had an honest conversation and the J.K. Man, you're fucking killing that accent. I'm just a man of three voices, my own voice, my voice is slightly higher like this and then an Australian voice. And I'm going to ride those to the snaggle. Snaggle.

Snaggle. Hicks it. Stage left. You know, that's kind of snaggle. It's pretty good. It's okay. It's all right. Yeah.

I've been trying to do a King Candy from from wreck it Ralph a lot for my kids and they are very critical about it. They're very mean in their criticisms of of my especially just an Ed win, right? Yeah. It's allentutic doing ad win basically. Yeah. So what's better than that? I can't do it. No, that's not terrible. Yeah. I'm bad with a wood leg. No, I can't do it. I've lost it. I barely had in the first place. And that's the joke about the man, the name of the man's leg, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. What's the name of his other leg? Yeah.

And it makes them laugh so much that they can float up to the ceiling and bump their heads. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what's up. So get back to it. We're talking about Mary Poppins, too. You probably just know the horror parody, Scary Poppins. We're just trying to kill the kids.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And of course, the, and of course, the John Lutha starring Harry and the Henderson's Poppins. We're being when it comes on Annie. Okay. So that's also weirdly enough the porn version's name.

Wow. Harry spelled differently, but anyway. It's slightly so Jake gets the house first. He sends the staff home except for a poker dealer named Penelope who's played by Elsa, Pataki, Mrs. Chris Hemsworth and and also Officer Nevis, or whatever from the Fast and the Furious movies. And she is maybe the most needless character in the whole thing because she just shows up to play poker in the leaves.

It's an odd inclusion because, I mean, I was not as hung up on this as Audrey was, but I see her point. Like Audrey was like, why if you're going to do this thing where the whole point is to like reconnect with these people or whatever, like why are you bringing in an outside sort of point of focus in having a dealer, especially then when the movie like makes nothing of this character.

My guess is, if I'm Jake, she's there to help throw, she's wearing a low cut dress and she's dealing, she's there to help throw my guests, my best friends off their guard by giving them something else to distract them. So they notice that I have put a truth serum in their bloodstream. Yeah. And he makes a comment that they're going to hit. They'll flirt with anything.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's still that I don't know. They don't flirt with her. But I think it's that everyone talks about these guys as if they are, they're just the baddest of bad boys. They are naughty friends and they're just the baddest of bad boys.

They are naughty friends and they're just so, they're Arab scallions and rogues and blackers. And earlier Jake's daughter is like, they're, you know, they're my disreputable uncles. And when they show up, they are fine. Like there's nothing particularly like outrageous or entertaining or like uncouth about them, you know. Like one guy has a possibly criminal sex tape out there. The other guy has a severe drug or alcohol problem. And the other guy just

cheating on his friends with his friends. Like, it's the way. Yeah, like, yeah, those are all crimes against other people, you know, they're, they're sins against other people. But at no point, they're never like, hey, well, this, I mean, like, I guess Liam Hemsworth tells a story about having like a perennial abscess. And that's about as, as wild as their stories get. That's like, as like, Rogesh's as it is. It's like, it's like the people in, like, the purge universe who use that as a chance to, like, cheat on taxes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're not really making the most of their, their position as the, like,

bad boys in the movie. And it's talking about Rogesh. If they touch someone, they don't absorb their memories, which would have really helped Jake if he could do that. And it's certainly would have helped cement their status as Roges almost as much as that they went to the Savage Land and just did it with Magneto. That says a thing only Roges do for sure. So Paul, so I mean, yeah, if you're, none of them have had any encounters with Zaladane, high priestess of the Savage Land. Anyway, Paul. Did you have any rogue content for us here?

What do you know about Rogues? Well, she calls people sugar a lot. They don't do that. She's Southern. Yeah. None of them are in a, in a hands-free relationship with Gambit. Yeah. Sort of a, you know, a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a in a No, because she had it already. I think before she went, when the original character of Rogue was presented as a much older woman and then they kind of aged her down

after Chris Claremont, I think, wanted to bring her in as a member of the X-Men, basically. So those first few appearances she's drawn as an older woman, she already has that streak. So I think it was just there because she was supposed to be a woman in approaching middle age, you know. The same way that I noticed in the mirror

the other day that the kind of spotty grainess of my hair has now is beginning to solidify into white bands above my ears, read Richard style. Yeah, I'm turning into a real Marvel character. Excellent. So, uh, yeah, go on. Or do you want to talk more about real things? I've got nothing more about, I mean, I just, I, it's interesting that you say that like, all I remember her is like she was the one that everyone who was like an X-man fan, like, who was like a horny heterosexual

dude of my age, like, that was, they all, they're all rogue fans. I mean, it's split between rogue shadow cat and then the cool dudes who like bad ass storm. Oh, really? Because there's also a silo. I feel like when I feel like the people who are a little bit older than me were into shadow cat. And then the people, kids my age were like, I guess Rogue is the nice girl in silox, the bad girl.

And Storm was, I mean, Storm was too much of a queen already to be seen as a romantic figure. Exactly. It was like the same way that like, there's, but there's part of me that, that has always seen Angela Bassett as more of an extra human kind of like super person. There's someone who can like walk around and talk and eat things and have, you know, be a real person. You know, it's like she's, she's almost, she's too much on that godly level. Anyway, that's why Angela Bassett should have played storm all those years ago. Anyway, Paul on the drive over, he's talking to some of the phone and he goes, call off the plan, the house isn't going to be empty, I was wrong. But whoever he's talking to says, no, it has to happen tonight.

We go to Jake's house, it's a super fancy, you know, billionaire technology house, there's a panic room, there's a fingerprint wall safe, all that stuff. We learn that Mikey has a gun with him, you know? Everyone arrives and Jake gives his and check off pops out of what would work. And goes, you know, it's not just going to come into handy. I mean, that's not a Russian accent. I'm more fun.

It's close. I'm boycutting. I'm boycutting Russian accents right now. They know. So my check off is going to sound like a like a cartoon German. I like, well, pay attention to that gun. It's going to come in handy according to me and Tom Chacoff. Oh, wow, yeah.

Kind of ironic that a man who is best and most strongly about observing humans and creating believable characters is best remembered now for a structural trick. Let's just have good news. I was reading last year, I reread the cherry orchard and I'm like, I forgot how funny this play is and I feel like it's such a beautiful play. The like character walks in and within three lines, you know, who they are, that guy check off. He's going places. He's because he shows up and just says who he is and what his motivations

are. Yeah, exactly. Just like in this movie. Yeah. I was like, I maybe really sad because I was like, what if Antide checkoff was writing today? Oh, they'd just bring him onto Marvel movies. And he'd just be there to like punch up the character moments. Yeah. So, yeah. No, no, go on, go on. Go on.

Go on, you say about Antide checkoff. Let's hear it. Dan had some elaborate bit about Antide checkoff. Dan, we writing quantumania. Yeah. Yeah. If the PIM particles are introduced in the first act, they have to be in the third act. the idea about the quantum mania if the pin particles are

introduced in the first act they have the third act and they're like Anton you should use the pin particles all throughout the movie it's kind of his thing like the whole so I introduce that he has superpowers act fun act three you use them just have them use them throughout the movie

not all for most of the movie is a normal man who just goes to work. And it doesn't, it does not make sense for Kane to be so super ripped. Why does he keep taking a shirt off? It's like, well, the thing is, Jonathan Major's got super ripped for what magazine dreams. And he looks incredible. So we need to be sure to list around. Yeah. But he's, he you think they would just shoot

the lasers at his unarmored chest and not in the places. Don't overthink it. Check out the future. I'm not. You know, some things you just got a suspension of disbelief. We're watching. We're watching TV. My friends, my friends called me Ant man, but it's short for Anton. Anyways, what you're saying. We were watching TV earlier today in the Creed 3 trailer popped on and there's a shot of Jonathan Majors was a shirt off that's like angled up and Charlene just goes, whoa. I mean, the thing is Jonathan Majors already looks like he's about 10 and a half feet tall. Like it's like it, but anyway, that's why it

with in Lovecraft Country, I was like, this guy's not a science fiction fan. There's no way he grew up reading all these science books. Yes, that nerd carrying books around. How do you get so huge? I think it's I guess he's carrying the heaviest books in the world. That's why he's ripped. I guess he's not called Jonathan Miners. Okay, guys. Yeah. Did you hear about Dan there doing a remake of the Major and the Miner, but with Jonathan Mininkjers and John Finkjers? Really?

It's a look of problematic plot. He changed the plot. It's just the title. Yeah. And the names of the actors, not even the characters. They're also new. They're also new as use IP. I don't know if you pay attention to the trades guys, but they're also doing a, a legacy quote to major league called majors league where John of the

majors makes his own baseball league. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, that's why I can't wait to see that. Yeah. Okay, so, so the friends arrive and Jake gives his best buddy since childhood a very subdued welcome as if they just saw each other yesterday. They drink wine. They toast to absent friends because Brutrou is not there. And Jake goes,

all right, here's the, okay, pop quiz hot shots. Here's the first game. You can each keep the car you drove here. And they're like, that's a million dollar car. And I didn't know if there's about Australian dollars or American dollars. And it really bothers me. It has to be. It has to be. It's got to be Australian dollars. And so he goes, that's a million dollar car. And he goes, you can either keep that car or trade it to me for $5 million in poker chips. But I wasn't sure, is he saying they all have to choose the chips? I know that if they choose the chips, you have to play poker and they all have to choose chips.

And Alex is like, I don't know, I feel weird about it, but the other guys are totally into it. So they all do it and they have more liquor and cigars and they start playing poker. It's very boring. I want to ask you something about this. Now, spoiler alert, this gets interrupted later on. Well, the whole evening gets interrupted later on by the, much like a girl that gets interrupted, yeah.

The home invasion. Story of Angelina Jelly. But even when it's more, yeah, even before the home invasion, when the character played by Rizza shows up, it's like, I guess the poker game's over and they're like, I guess so. And I'm like, wait, it is? Like, are they abandoning it? Like what, like this seemed like a very important thing

to Russell Crowe for some reason and I never quite understood what the poker game was supposed to do in any way. I think that's my, I mean, it was supposed to like loosen their inhibitions a little bit. Do something familiar with them. It would be like, if I was supposed to like loosen their inhibitions a little bit. Yes. Do something familiar with them. It would be like, if I was trying to reconnect with my childhood friends, it would be like,

let's play a fucking, I don't know, Doomtown Tournament and play with our little cowboy cards. But the thing is they also, you would think that like, they make a big point of a couple of the characters, couple of the guys are like, look, financially, I'm kind of fucked. So I, having this kind of money would be amazing. So when they like leave the table, I would like, at least those characters to be like stressing about like, we need to get back to the table. I need to make this money. Like, that's no, like, those are no joke stakes. Yeah. Especially for like Lee, I have this character where he should, like, you would think he would be like, he's already got impulse control issues theoretically because he has addiction issues. You would think he would be like, we got already got impulse control issues theoretically because he has addiction issues.

You would think he would be like, we gotta get back to the table. I'm gonna win, I'm hot. That's what I don't get. The stakes, like I'm like, yeah, they never get to eat the stakes that I assume they will get preparing. Why are there so much money involved?

I would understand it if the implication was like Russell Crowe as some sort of last act of revenge against these people as he's dying, is like pitting them against each other for this money. But as we see at the end of the film, like he treats them all well, he can like he leaves them all this much. I don't, I don't get it. I think we're supposed to believe, here's the way I think this movie is supposed to work.

We are supposed to believe that he is pitting his friends against each other that way and he's kind of toying with them and playing with them as some kind of revenge. And then it's like the movie seems to then be saying that he has a change of heart and wants to do good for them but he's already set up the trust. Like it's already, so the change of heart,

he's basically the character arc that you expect from the movie happened before the movie started. And so the whole movie is him playing a weird game with them. And you could say, if this was a better movie, it was a deeper movie, I would say, even in trying to do good by his friends, he can't help but make it a game of control and risk and domination. That he is rubbing their faces in how much he can afford to help them and how much they need that help and making them kind of go through his hoops in order to get that help.

That there's still something in him that craves manipulation of other people that way. But instead, none of that is there. Like, I'm reading so deeply into something that's not there. And he's just like, and really what it is, is that the movie is like poker segment over home invasion segment about to begin way over here. Like it's literally when you're out. I was just on the universal studio tour and they're like, okay, we're entering the King Kong ride.

We're going to talk about King Kong for a little bit. And now we play the King Kong thing and now we're leaving the King Kong thing and we're heading to jaws. Like that's what this feels like. Now, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but if you want to watch a movie that deals with a man who is coping with the end of his life and has his own control issues and make people play through crazy games, I would highly recommend the Saw series over this. It really does feel like it's one of the few times when you can say that Saw has more

richly delved into the topic in this movie than this character study of friendship. So they're all playing poker. Meanwhile, these three crooks are sitting in a car waiting for something. And there's the mean old man we saw earlier. There's a refined art thief who's talking about how it's not just, it's about stealing the art and possessing it. And there's a big bruise that keeps doing it. And the art guy was one of the dudes with a shotgun in his hand from upgrade. Yes. Yeah. And they're waiting to pull some kind of ice or something. We get more poker playing. Mikey and Jake somehow tie in a game of poker and have to share the pot. You do that. If this is split pot,

if no one has the high hands, no, but they have the exact same hand. They say it. They get the exact same hand of cards. They have the exact same hand and different, yeah. Yeah. It's just a silly thing to have. No, it's not silly. It's not impossible, but it is silly. And because in it shows you that this is a movie that is going to pull every punch, I think, because it is not, it doesn't want to hurt either one of these characters. And I feel like if this movie was serious about what it was doing, Mikey would lose that hand and realize the answer to my, all my

problems supposedly just slip through my fingers because my friend who's supposed to be helping me can't help but win. Has to win against me. He can't lose. If it, even if it means I, we get money. But instead the movie is like, ah, we, Russell Crowe doesn't want to be a bad guy. Yes. So, true. Like the only way this movie works is if it's a lot neater. Yes. Obviously, a figure with a lot of terrible things about him, but Rowland Polansky's style, like psychological gamesmanship is what's needed here, and that's not what this is. Or if you want to talk about someone who's somewhat less problematic in their handling of other people, like Ingmar Bergman does this very well in movies where he just, he has characters pushing each other in subtle ways or in overt ways to their limits.

You know, that and it often not not even necessarily in that kind of overt kind of like manipulation game, but just because people, people push people around and they use people, you know, in real life. And so, but there's just Russell Crowe just doesn't have the, he doesn't have the taste of blood to go after that sort of thing. Meanwhile at home, Jake's daughter finds blood or regularity tests. And was I seeing correctly that he had tests for everybody, like all of his friends and all of his family? And what she sees upset, and she calls her stepmom.

And her stepmom is like, I know you're upset because Jake had of a sectomy it turns out. Well, no, I mean, like she starts talking about it, like, I think that what happens is the daughter of the stepmom's blood tests. No, I think that what happened is the daughter, like the mother thinks that the daughter has found out that she's having a fair. Yes, yes, then you're right, you're right. And the mother is like, you know, she starts telling the story like you have to understand, like, I wanted to have another child sometime. And I found out that your dad like had this fasectomy without telling me, you know, and you just came home and I just mentioned, Dan, this is two movie episodes in row where you're spitting rhymes. You dad has a succumbent without telling me, Dan, you got to release an album. Yeah, thanks. But, and then like the daughter cuts her off and it's like,

Dad's dying, he's got a pay credit cancer, which is like a shock to the mom and she breaks down. She's like, I'm going to come to you. But the funny thing to me in that situation was, it never gets back to the daughter being like, now, why were you telling me that the secretary's story? Like, there's a dangling thread here that I'm curious about. But you've explained it better.

She, the stepmom thinks that the, that the daughter has found the, the proof that she's pregnant. Yeah. So they just thought she goes, I'll pick you up. We're going to head to the country house. There's more, more poker. All the guys are looking tense and sweaty and it's edited together in this weird way where we see them looking calm and then it'll cut to a shot of them looking sweaty with their hair to shoveled.

And I was like, is that happening in their minds? Like is he trying to illustrate their emotional sense? But no, it's just jumping around in time. And one of the staff members that Jake sent home, he's ambushed on the road and kidnapped by the Crooks. And that's when Jake's security system goes bling and he sends the lawyer Sam to investigate, oh, we think for a moment there's Crooks in the house.

It's just Drew drew the missing friend. Riff is here. And Jake sends Penelope home because once Drew is here, the game is over. Yeah, this was odd to me, by the way, like the dealer again, not used in the film for any particular purpose. She goes into what, like, closet to change out of the room. Yeah. She like, she, Richley, you guys are crazy. We see her locker rooms back in her back tattoo.

She's like taking her top off and then she's like, fondling some money on a shelf. She goes, she's in a case like piles of money. And I was like, is that her payment or is that money that's kind of coming handy? And I think it's just that Russell Croge's has stacks of money all over his head. I think that's it too. Like because it doesn't seem like she's like,

oh, I'm taking this money. She's like, oh, look, there's this money. And again, makes me think like, is this setting it up that she's gonna take this money that is needed later on? No, this is just nothing. Like she disappears from the film, having done nothing or said anything of the important.

Here's exactly what I think happened. I think this is why she's in the movie that Russell Crowe said to Liam Hemsworth, he goes, hey, I've got a surprise for you. And he goes, what? I'll show you on the first day of shooting. And they show up and then he brings her out and he goes, I cast your wife in the movie too.

And Liam Hemzrow was like, that's my brother's wife. Can you give me mixed up with my brother, Chris? And Russell Crowe goes, it's a joke. It's a joke. I got a few. Hold on a second. This was a mistake. Oh no.

Oh no. You're proud. We're right. I can't tell the Hemsworths apart. And Russell Crowe's casting director is like, I told you there was more than one Hemsworth. Anyway. So, but she leaves. it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I will say, for a moment that is totally unnecessary, seeing her in that room, you don't see any, there's no nudity in it, but seeing her, unzipping her dress, and then seeing

that money in the case, is a moment of like real kind of seaminess and sleeaziness that hints at a more interesting and kind of like more thrilling movie and a movie that has more going on in it, a darker movie. So it's that has more going on in it, a darker movie. So it's both completely unnecessary moment and possibly the most evocative moment in the entire movie. So Drew's there and they go, okay, game's over. Drew goes, hey, everybody, we used our secrets,

our super secret spy software that we sell the governments. As a prank, we used it to spy on all of you and we discovered your real problems. And Jake reveals he goes, I've poisoned everyone's drinks tonight because I'm dying of cancer. Now we're on the same level. And Mikey goes, well, I'm at the end of my robe,

I'm in alcoholic, I was gonna shoot myself tonight. And Alex goes, I've been having an affair with your wife and she's pregnant with my baby. And Paul goes, I'm being blackmailed. There's a sex tape on me out. And I ran out of money, so the crooks demanded I give you the information about your house. And so they could rob it. And here's what I think it's funny. He doesn't know the code to the house because the crooks have to get the code

in the movie. So what did he tell them that Jake has the house and gave them the information like what information did he give them? I don't know. Yeah. Well, also I just find everyone's reactions in the scene utterly bizarre because no like they really take the fact that they've been poisoned pretty well. They seem like a little like shocked and saddened. I mean, I will say threatening him like crying, asking for an anecdote, not anecdote. You can be an anecdote too.

Yeah. While I'm dying, you know, he's me into the other life with something humorous. Well, well, while I'm dying, can you tell me about the time that you had lunch at a table next to John Lewis? I've just always loved that story. Yeah. Now, here's the thing, for another perspective on this, Dan, when I was, I know you watched the movies with Audrey.

I was watching this with the famous stoic philosopher, Epic Titus, and he was like, they're doing it right. They're doing it exactly right. You learn that you've been poisoned and you just take that information and you just accept it and you move on with your life. And I was like, really, Epic Titus, I would think that even if you were poisoned, you'd have a bigger reaction. And he goes, if I did, then you should just take all my books and throw them in the garbage because I'm an hypocrite. Yeah, he said, try me, bro. Yeah, then Hippocrates came out. So you asked for me and said, no, I said hypocrite. Yeah, this is exactly. Yeah. And so I hang out with a lot of ancient Greeks. Anyway, so, um, ancient Romans. So the, uh, uh, the crooks meanwhile,

so they take that information pretty well and they give up their secret information. And Jake takes that secret information pretty well. And why wouldn't he knows it already? From where he knows it all, yeah. And meanwhile, outside the crooks are threatening the staff member. It's a very dumbly complicated scene where Penelope drives out and the gate is open for a little bit and it's starting to close and they're like, give us the code to the gate and the staff member is like, no, no, no. They're asking if the code to the gate and he says, no, he won't give them the code to the gate and the staff members like, no, no, no. They're asking for the code to the gate and he says, no, he won't give them the code to the gate. And then Penelope

drives out, which leaves the gate open and then closing. And they show him in between the gate and the post. And they say, tell us the code or else the gate will kill you. And he tells them the code just a little too late and gets impaled. Yeah, they're like, stop the gate by standing there. And he's like, it'll crush me. It would crush her car. And so then they threaten him with the crushing. And I did think it was kind of funny that he gives them the number just a little too late to get crushed anyway.

Because if I'm in that situation, I'm just going to give him the fucking code. He's given the code right away. Yeah, it's not worth it. Yeah, it's not worth it. But also like, why don't they just run in while the gates open? What the fuck is this? Why do they have to bring their car in? Like gates open? Yes, that's what I was wondering. Why do they have to bring their car in? Like, they can't, they seem to be there to steal art.

The guns are horrible. The guns are horrible. Yeah. There's no, yeah. They're not connected to the car. That's the thing. They are connected to the car because it, by long strings, yeah. No, I thought they were, they were electric powered guns that happened to be powered by the

cars. No, no, the earlier in the earlier, this is a deleted scene earlier, the, the, the kind of big musly guys like, don't worry, I want to make sure we don't lose our guns. So I tied them to the car. Good thinking, good thinking, good thinking, good thinking, Rocky, good thinking. So, uh, so the, uh, and we learned that the crook who is also blackmailing Paul is his older brother Victor. And then Jake reveals, I didn't give you enough poison to kill you, just loosen you up. Anyway. Anyway, we know you're all screw ups.

And that's why when we gave you shares in riffle long time ago and you sold them instantly, that's why it was Drew's idea to secretly hold back some shares that are still in your name, $25 million in poker chips. There's actually the shares you own in Riffle, this evil covert software that we're talking about as if it was just any other type of product and not a hugely problematic thing for the main character to be invented. Yeah, something that delutes any possible sympathy you have for this dying man. I mean, he already, he's a billionaire, so already you're like,

okay, time for the guillotine bud. But when you find out that he's also actively hurting the world even more, you're like, man, get him out of here. You're like, oh, I'm glad that the hero is helping the Spanish government to arrest Catalan protesters by spying on their phones and things like that. Oh man, I hope this guy shits himself to death.

So Dan, you look like you're about to defend Russell Crowe. What were you going to say? Uh, or Jake his character. Or billionaires. You know, billionaires in general. I know. I mean, like obviously if you have more money that you can use to that degree, you should do something with it. I don't inherently like, I mean, I'd go as far as if you've made a billion dollars, you've done something bad to somebody. No, that's probably true. But, you know, I'm more just baffled by like, I guess this was all a way to tell them about these shares.

Like the poker game was just like, surprise the stuff that you thought your, you know, winner take call. It's just these shares, I don't know. It is not clear. Still to me what the whole point of any of it was. I think the movie was this is a movie that was adapted from the scene in the treehouse of horror with the evil crusty doll when the the the man who owns the magic shop is like, you can buy this doll because the doll has is cursed. That's bad news, but it comes with free frogurt. That's good news. The frog, the frog, the frog, the, uh, the frogurt is also cursed. That's bad news, but it comes

with your choice of toppings. That's good news. The toppings contain sodium benzoy. I, I, I just want to go now, if it's like throughout the movie, Russ and Jack, Jake is being like, Hey, good news. You get this car, bad news. You got to play poker with me. Good news. It's a lot of money. Bad news. I poisoned you and I'm dying. Good news. I left you a lot of money. Bad news. There's crooks here.

And you're just like, I don't, again, like, what is this game you're calling? It's not a fun game. I don't understand that. It's not heads up. No, it's not heads up. The game everybody loves. Yes. Yes.

Thank you, substitute. I will play. His friends were like, why couldn't we have just played apples to apples? Everybody wins. Let's just get some jack box stuff. Come on. Yeah. We're a fucking jack box game on break open the jack box. Yeah. Come on. So anyway, let's go. Jake, I thought we were going to play cranium tonight. So again, like I always think it's funny like, one friend in this story, like a bunch of childhood friends, one guy's in Zillionaire, and all his friends are all like, you know,

various levels of success. And like, I always think back, I'm like, if my childhood friends and I all met up, they're not my friends anymore. But if they were like, we would just play like Warhammer some shit, and I don't know. They would probably drug me. I wouldn't die because I'm built different. I think we all know that. Yeah, of course. You're one of God's chosen. And he wouldn't let that happen. So he'd send an angel in the form of a magic fairy to magic the poison out of your system. Yeah. Thank you. The crooks and the fairy would of course die with the effort, but would know that she had sacrificed her life to save again. God's chosen. So we're here. Yeah. Thank you. The Crooks and the fairy would of course die with the effort, but would know that she had sacrificed her life to save again. God's chosen. So the crooks show

up the art and the art thief is additionally disappointed in Jake's art collection. And he says this thing is Australian art. They make a point of saying Australian. Australian. That's true. Except for the one big painting we'll find later, all of his art is Australian. And he goes, he goes, I didn't know it was Aboriginal art. This is very hard to sell. The buyer has to connect spiritually with the piece, which is such a funny way for the art thief to be set up, complementing Jake as a character that like, oh, yeah, he must, he has a deep soul.

He spiritually connected to this. Yeah, but then there's like, I'll see if like, he goes through a bunch of stuff. He's like, oh, this is a million dollars. This is like, he goes through a bunch of stuff. He's like, oh, this is a million dollars. This is like, he like goes through a bunch of it. And like the thing turns into like this weird antiques roachio for like a moment. For a while, it's them pricing art and him just explaining that, I mean, if this is the one saving grace of the movie is that it introduced me to a number of Australian painters I'd never heard of before. It's kind of basically what they do. And I was like, maybe I'll look up some of these that like,

that this is, it almost feels like the Australian government board was like, we need someone to make a film telling people about the wonders Australian painting and Russell Crowe's like, I'll do it and then turn it into this movie. It means at least 10% art content. It means, it means at least seven minutes of people naming Australia. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, if I'm going to watch something from tourism board, I'd, I guess I'd rather watch this than those fucking Qatar ads that keep showing up where I'm like, oh, I don't think this is

accurately representing the situation there. Yeah, I don't, I'm not, don't know the ones you mean, but I'm, I can probably imagine them. They, they're the ones that talk about all the migrant laborers that die in the construction of the building. It's right. It's weird that they talk about that in the ads. Or that tourism ad we watched Infinity Pool. That was pretty. Yeah, my favorite. Tourism ad in Tundee pool.

That's very fun. I always imagine with David Cronenberg is that every time the Canadian film board watches one of his movies or one of his his his the other Cronenberg's movies that they're like, you did it to us again. Once again, you promised it would be a Canadian tourism movie and you gave us this thing about people, making their bodies all weird. They're like, all right. I mean, Cronenberg cackles like an elf, and he disappears.

Okay, guys, we, we, he goes, okay, we're here together to watch the new David Cronenberg movie. I know we've been bit before, but he promised us that this one, Land of Timber, will really talk about our natural resources. Of course, he had to change the title to Crime's of the Future, he says, but okay, let's watch it. And then when it's over, they're just like, God damn it. We got Kronenberg again. It goes, there's only one solution.

We got to make it so that Canada's big new industry is surgery performance. Hey, that's the only way we're going to be able to make it justify this. I guess surgery is the new sex. I guess surgery is, I guess that's our new Canadian tourism board slogan. Surgery is the new sex. I like how you slip into it. So maybe So maybe someone should drop some bars on this one. There's a lot of people virus dissent in Canada. I'll play it off that way. So they walk around pricing art for a long time.

Jake and the others see them on the security cameras and run to Jake's panic room where they all criticize Jake. Where they don't have a phone. They don't have a phone and they criticize Jake for not having any guns. And they're like, how do you not have any guns? It's a panic room. Why don't you have guns? And it's all they care about.

And I'm like, what is an American movie? They're so obsessed with guns. Again, Russell Crowe makes a good point. He's like, I have the pan room, so I don't need guns. But you do need a goddamn phone in there, Russell. It's called the cops. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, so you can call fucking lot-of-life.

You're gonna be broken there. You can call, love line and ask, doctor Drew, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the problem? He's gonna say some bullshit. Because he's a fucking hack. Yeah, because he's a fucking love. I'm not fucking paining. You're gonna be broken there. You can call, love line and ask, Dr. Drew, what's up? What's up? He's gonna say some bullshit. Cause he's a fucking hack. Yeah, you call it, he can call into the request line.

Yeah. Yeah. So I guess I want, I want to hear what a minute works on. Literally, listen, midnight, what I listen down there. We're gonna solve this short circuit two style. I'm gonna call a request for help me run, then maybe hope someone gets the message. Yeah, although I do love the idea of him using a phone, he to call a request for help me run that. I hope

someone gets the message. Yeah, although I do love the idea of him using a phone. He goes, now, this is a one-use phone. It's a burn. We got to use it. He calls it up a radio station. It's like, yeah, I want to hear safety dance. And then, hey, so the crew's realized that the house isn't empty because there's all this half drunk wine sitting around in cigars. Victor, the lead crew, he does what you everyone would do. Picks up someone else's cigar that their gross mouth has been on and start smoking it. And then end up end up the glass of wine and starts drinking that too because he's apparently a toddler who just picks stuff up and puts it in his mouth. Dan, what are we

going to say? Well, I also was, hey, this is a part that bathled me because when they first come into the house, they keep, they keep being like, oh, it seems like someone's here or like someone's here. Like when they like first, I mean, I guess by this point, I don't know, is the wife there? Yeah, I don't even remember. No, she hasn't shown up yet. Okay. But like, yeah, they're like, she seems like someone's here and they've been told that he's going to be there. Yes. The guy who has told Victor, there's going to be people at the house.

Jake will be at the house. I've been so surprised. I've been so surprised. Yeah, I can understand if Victor didn't tell the other crooks that he's like, we're doing this heist, I'm not going to tell them, but even Victor act surprised, which is weird. But then he knows they're there. He starts demanding Jake come out of the panic room.

And that's when the art specialist, he puts two and two together with some clues that the bruiser croak tells him about a painting about a man in a funny hat smoking a pipe. And he realizes there's a sazon and Jake's kitchen. And it's a $200 million painting. And he keeps saying, that's a $200 million painting. He's like, the kind of people have paintings like that are not the kind of people that you want to fuck over. And, and she-

I kind of like that element, because it is like a moment where he's like, I'm in over my head because that kind of money, like that's an erase you kind of money. If you don't even consider the fact that the guy made his money, uh, figuring out all your information or consider the fact that like as someone points out later on, like fine heart is a hard thing to fence. Yeah. Yeah. Or consider the lilies. They neither spin nor do they weave.

But these crooks who like come into like a billionaire's home and immediately like, they're unmasked. But these are not the people. These are not the same guesses. They're not even worth it. We're in Glouc while they're walking around to there. Yeah. Yeah, they are, it's so, they're acting so dumb.

The whole time. Yeah. That in fact, he's like, he's like, steal me that saison. And it's like, people know what saisons there are and who owns them. Like, it's not, like, they're not valuable comic books. There's not like a hundred copies of this saison in existence. Like, it's anyway, it's a, it's all, it's not a well thought through heist. But I guess very few art heists are. It's, it happens a lot that, I mean, it used to happen more,

I guess, where famous paintings would be stolen from museums and then disappear because they could not be fenced. Or if they were fenced, they were so privately done. And that's why those paintings get destroyed because they don't want to be caught with them. And it stinks. I know there was a winds low homer painting

that disappeared a long time ago. There's like the scream has been stolen multiple times. And it's like, yeah, why would you steal one of the most recognizable paintings in the world? Like that's nuts. And why would you, why would you have the only house when it's just going to get destroyed by a mona? I guess at least with the scream, there are multiple out there. There are multiple the screams.

Yeah. I feel like you go to any boardwalk, you can get like a shirt with it on it. Yeah, but that's not quite the same as having the original. Yeah, it's. No, it's, can you put the fucking original on your body and protect you from the elements? Yeah. That's what you get your joy. It's better as a shoe.

Great works of art. The scream and Stewart's torso. You have the same thing. Exactly. I mean, it's Stewart's very. What a combination. Yeah. I mean, obviously, I'll have to cut the sleeves off.

Did we agree? We are not mad again. And the mid-riff, too. I imagine you're cutting the much. What a combination. Yeah. I mean, obviously, all I have to cut the sleeves off, did we agree? We are not going to admit that that's still good. I imagine you're cutting the mid riff also. Unless it's a full bleed. It's hopping of the screen when you're sure. And all of them want to affect the actual image. So that's why. All over for it.

Shit is so dope. I mean, the thing is, you don't need the scream on your shirt because people are going to scream when they see those abs, too. That's just the way it is. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I'm a 42 year old man, almost 43. And if I, I have understood that somebody in my age that has abs has to be a fucking psychopath. Or or or works in pornography, one of those two things and also those are not mutually exclusive also. Okay. So Dan, we're going to say something about abs.

Yeah, I was going to tell say something about abs, but then I realized it's just gonna be retelling an anecdote that I heard on blank checks. So I'm like, I'm gonna steal their content, just go listen to it blank check. That's fair. You just search abs plus blank check. Oh, look at these photos. Just fucking ask Jeeps about, I don't know. Yeah, just fucking ask Jeves about. I don't know. Yeah, ask. What's your usual Jeves will wake up from his thousand years slumber. And while you're doing it, ask Jeves about, you know, the birds and the bees, because I don't want to have that talk with you.

No, no, you don't want to hear about the other industry, too. I want to hear about that from Jeves. If if if Casuo and Shaguro has taught anything is that it's that an English butler is going to be able to explain this kind of stuff. Yeah, I always said. Actually, I was actually, oh, I'm surprised anything was remained anything remained in that day after he spent himself like that. Anyway, so and shadow lands, et cetera. So Jake's wife and daughter, they show up at the house, they fight the bad guys pretty well. Jake's.

I was hoping that she would beat their ass way worse because like they do introduce her, do some pretty intense like boxing training. So I was hoping that she would just like pound the shit out of them and they would eventually subdue her, but like it, she doesn't really, like for all the hits she gets in, it doesn't really affect anything. No, that's true. I mean, Victor has a metal face apparently, so the punches don't hurt him thater, but like it, she doesn't really, like for all the hits she gets in, it doesn't really affect anything. No, that's true. I mean, Victor has a metal face apparently, so the punch is not hurting that much, but again, our friend Anton is here.

Guys, didn't you notice how they introduced her boxing in the first act? Oh, yeah. She's good at punching in the face. Oh, yeah, that's just good writing. That's just good writing. That's why I say Anton check off. It's the only, and it's fact it's the only way to judge good writing. If that happens, it's good writing.

If it doesn't happen, it's not good writing. Okay. I mean, the ironic thing is Anton check off introduces plenty of things in his, in his plays that don't pay off exactly by the end of it. It's almost like we shouldn't take, when he introduces Ray, and then you find out that she doesn't have important parents or something like what the fuck? Yeah. What's crazy? It's almost like we shouldn't take one of the greatest writers in literature, just a supreme observer of human behavior and boil him down to a rule that doesn't have to be followed. Single aphorism. Yeah, single one. So single aphorism also the name of my jazz album. So Jake tries to hold

off the baddies with Mikey's gun, even though it only has one bullet in it. And Victor sends the other two crooks to get the saison. And Jake starts psyching out Victor by saying, Hey, I poisoned my friends, with the wine glasses and you've ingested that poison also. And to sell the tale, he talks about how he poisoned Alex so that his second wife will get very mad about it. And he goes, you need the antidote. And it's in that safe. And he go and while Jake opens the safe to get the antidote, his friends go up to the darkened kitchen and just prepare to ambush these crooks and fight them in the dark because they have gone from being so scared they need to hide in the panic room to being like, I guess we'll just beat them up. I guess seeing Jake's wife and daughter

almost defeat these crooks has made them realize it's not as not the threat they thought it was. Jake fills a syringe with what he said is the anecdote and Victor takes it from him and he has his own like and to do it. If he filled a syringe to the anecdote. Oh yeah, he filled it with an anecdote. You just have a you just have a story about a celebrity, you know, celebrity introduction in your bloodstream and that's how it's felt. Elliot and I fell victim to I think the same thing, which is that anecdote is a word that

we say frequently in normal life, whereas antidote, we've unfortunate enough to not have to say. Yeah, unless I'm acting out the best scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, I find myself not saying antidote that much. So Jake fills us, he so Victor seals us a ring and slams it in his leg and goes, now you can die of poison, fucker or whatever and then runs away. Not falling for the easiest trick in the history of tricks. He's, he's of course given himself a lethal dose of the truth. So he stumble a little off and dies outside. For some reason, sprawled out like Christ on

the cross, like in that pose. And I sent these guys. I like to say like Joker surrounded by knives, but that's fine. You can use works to yeah. And whoever you're Messiah, yeah, whether you worship Jesus or to Joker. And I mean, it really wasn't Jesus the original Joker. So that bit about the prodigal son and all that. So the, and I sent to Dan and Stuart, I text them the other day, a picture of a stretchy Hulk toy that my son has that is also

in the Christ on the crossbows for some reason. So I think we're over using that pose. Yeah. And Lowe may the meek be joker-fied. Yeah. Yeah. And when Hulk Christ said, if Thine Eye offends me, if I fends me, smash it out. I come not with the sword, because it's on the strongest there is, anyway, so forth.

So the art thief in the battle, he fires his shotgun and is horrified to learn. The only thing he's harmed is that saison. He's just filled it full of holes. And our rough and tumble boys, They overwhelm the other two crooks. Jake conties the ladies and we cut to our final video, which goes on for a long time, where Jake is like, life is a game. You got to play it right. And he says the sentence that is so confusingly worded.

Yes. I had to rewind it a couple times to make sure you're right. Because you're right. I did write it down. Yes. He says, so Dan, do you want to try to recreate it from memory or no? I mean, he basically says the simplest idea that you can, which is basically, like you affect other people in your life.

You can't not affect other people, but he does it through such a web of, as I did the second time around, double negatives and clauses and please. So this is what he says. And again, I were wound twice so I could hear this three times to understand, to make sure it was as as weirdly phrased as those. He says, I've never been misguided in understanding that the way we've created opportunity for ourselves hasn't had an effect on the lives of others, which is like, hold on a second. Let's break it down.

So I've never been misguided. Okay. In understanding. So that the I have had illusions so far. I have a illusions. No one has ever said something I've never, like what he wants to say is I guess like,

I've never been under the impression that what I do doesn't affect others. Like Dan said, I've never been misguided in an understanding that the way we've created opportunity. I think that's the part that hasn't had an effect on the last was like, is he, so does he think he, wait, so he does understand that he doesn't affect or he's never been misguided in thinking that it's a, it's just such a, it's such a, it's such a, confusally worded way of saying a very clearly statement. I think that this is the admission that you've been waiting for perhaps that he's like, look, I know that our company is

bad. That way. That way. I've had a lot of success and I've had success with my friends, but I'm aware that we have done battle on the way. But again, yeah, the weirdest way of putting that. I've never been misguided in understanding that the way we've created opportunity for ourselves hasn't had an effect on the lives of others. I've never been misguided in understanding that the way we've created opportunity for ourselves

hasn't had an effect on the lives of others. It's like he's daring you to misunderstand what he's saying. I mean, I think that this is like a Nick Sony and sort of mistakes were made kind of like, I'm going to admit that I met fault, but in a very passive way. Yeah. Yeah. It's just it, but it's very, I, okay, I'll give you that one. So the other characters now meet for reading of Jake's will realize that this word salad is his last will of testament.

What a legacy. Seems like you got a bit revised a few times. It was a document, but no, he got it perfect the first time. And he goes through all of them. And because of course, big-hearted Jake, the man who tortured everyone, he gives half his money to charities. He says, including charities about gambling addiction. So I'm, you know, it's like, you know, when the Koch brothers are like, I know we're destroying

democracy, but we are going to end out the New York Ballet company with a new set of costumes. So we did okay. And the rest is apportioned out to his friends. He has some requirements. Paul has to leave politics. Mikey has to go to rehab, but in exchange they get, was it $25 million or something like that or $50 million?

And the rest of the money goes to his daughter. And he also has set up a trust for all of Alex and his wife's future children. And they smile at each other like, yeah. And it's just a weird moment. And he leaves them with a sermon, the camera goes off into the waves as if trying to escape the film as the video goes into a sermon about friendship and you got to forgive imperfections and so forth.

And we finally get to the credits. And after the first credit, Dan, there's that mid-credit scene, what happens in it? Yeah. We see that woman from the beginning who wanted to paint a picture in front of Crow and she's. Wait, it's too late to say, Stuart, you didn't see the scene like normally with the mid-credit scenes or did you? What happened? Okay, so Stuart, I want you to get closer. I want you to get closer.

I want you to get closer. I want you to get closer. Should I close my eyes? Yeah. What? Yeah. So we. Close your eyes and visualize Yeah. What? So we Close rise and visualize it. What happens to this mid-griddit scene?

We sunrise on a pebble beach. Okay. Interesting. We think Victor was dead, but his hand stirs. He's not dead. We have a sequel. So Dan, is that what happens? Well, I mean, I don't know why I still would guess X is I already introduced the idea of a portrait lady from the beginning, but I

still don't have no idea whether Stewart saw this or not. But anyway, uh, she is one the portrait. She painted a portrait of Russell Crowe, and she won the big contest. Looking sad as he looked at art. I mean, like just his face, but that's what kind of picture is okay. It's fine. Dan, you can't tell if I'm being serious or not. Would you say that I have a poker face? Yeah. Well, now that you've suggested that I say it, I would say that.

And we're done it on my own. And so we have, and so again, just like our friend, Anton Chekov, would have demanded. The woman introduced in the beginning is brought back at the end to book it. And it's one of those things where it's like, oh yeah, not only is Russell Crowe, his character, I guess the greatest big-hearted man in the history of the world, he is also a beautiful work of art

that will inspire generations to come. Now he has become the art that he so loves. Yeah, now he belongs to the ages. What if he's become the art, he so loves, but it's more of a twilight's own ending, and he's banging on the inside of the painting, going, no, no, crap. It's so funny that I ended up doing an inadvertent double feature

with this and the FableMins. And it's so great to see two movies that are like ostensibly about somebody's life or what, like, the way they view their legacy. One of them amazing. One of them not as much. Yeah, make it go. I wonder which is which. Yeah.

One of them features David Lynch in a surprising role. Oh, that was, what a wonderful, and here's the thing. Okay. And I guess for anyone who's seen the Fableman's, this is kind of a spoiler. But to see, there's something about seeing David Lynch appearing in that movie in a small role that is perfect because it's like, right, not only to Spielberg and David Lynch, who would seemingly be the opposing sides

of the filmmaker's structure, not only do they exist in the same world, but they operate it at the same time in the same filmmaking world, and I'm sure have known each other for some time. And like, it's such a great, that moment, it was like, it made me realize like, oh yeah, Lynch has been part,

like for an experimental filmmaker is a real part of the mainstream in a wonderful way. People know who he is, they know, at least some of his movies. And Spielberg, for being maybe the most mainstream director there is, is someone who is a real artist, the way that Lynch, it was like, I can't believe these guys are not that different, you know? I can't believe that David Lynch was the second choice for the role. The first being, of course, Michael Bay was going to play

that character. No, that, no, that would have been a different story. I don't know if that would have worked quite as well. But I love also that whenever David Lynch is in a movie, he plays it these exact same way, which is just to shout his lines as loudly as possible. And that beautiful flat voice of his. Yeah, I love it. What a treasure. What a treasure. Hey, why don't we do our final judgments whether it's a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie or a movie kind of like.

This is what I'll say about poker face. It is definitely a bad, bad movie. I don't think anyone needs to see it at all, but it wasn't, but it was an agent. Well, for me to have seen it, it's a consignate to oblivion. Yeah. For me to have seen it, I found it interesting just because I'm like, this is such a bizarre cavalcade of like what, like I don't understand how anyone thought this was a movie, especially

someone like Russell Crowe who's worked for so long. Well, it shows it shows it feels very student-filming that is it is a clearly heartfelt kind of who knows how autobiographical depiction of his feelings. And yeah, it is a story and from a story perspective. And in some ways from a technical perspective, it just doesn't work. It feels like someone who has never made a movie before. Yeah. Yeah, it's not even the. It feels like someone who has never made a movie before. Yeah. It's not even the first movie he's directed, I think.

Yeah, and I texted you guys like partway through him like I'm, would love to, like I'm waiting for this movie to figure out what it is. And it never does, like it never seems to settle down until like, oh, okay, I know why this movie was made. Like I have no idea what, really the thinking was like why this story was the story. So bad, bad, but interesting. It's I think it's I will also say bad, bad, yeah, but interesting to future biographers of Russell Crowe. I feel like it's it's he's he's unless I'm wrong, it really feels like

he's putting his soul on celluloid and just, you know, fail to really communicate. But yeah, I feel a little bad at a certain level because I'm like, it seems like a passion project, I guess. But yeah. Yeah, there's a certain, I think there's a certain charm of the fact that it's, it seems like a passion project. And if you are like, okay, I'm writing a fucking paper on Russell Crowe, I need to figure it all out.

But I do love the idea that you're like, I don't know why this was made, you know, in an age where streaming services are killing people's access to movies, and there's still so many movies that aren't even available physical. Why can I watch poker face whenever? But I can't, I have like Ken Russell's The Devils was only recently made available to me. Yeah, well, that's sometimes, sometimes movies mean different things. Sometimes a movie is there to excite you with an exciting story. Sometimes it's there to touch your heart. And sometimes it's just there to be a sort of rustle-ed-a stone that just helps you decode

what's going on inside Russell Crowe at the moment. Yeah. Okay, Zebra, a rangatans. Oh, sorry, hi. I'm not used to the animals talking for you. Yes, myutan's oh, sorry, hi, not you see animals talking. Yes, my name is Carrie Poppy. I co-host a podcast called on a Ross and Carrie. This is my close Ross right here. Okay, investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, and we were wondering if we could get on the art. You did come to by too. I appreciate that. The most of the things I'm

letting on the art don't talk. I'm gonna be talking all up on this boat. Do you mind boat? I prefer arc or bar. Okay, I'm not listening. But if you let me on, then I will make my really good podcast on your boat. Can you at least help clean up all the poop?

Yeah, I guess I don't see one on. Well, check out the podcast, where do I find it? Tell MaximumFund.org. Oh my gosh, hi, I'm Dave Holmes, host of the Pop Culture Trivia Podcast, Troubled Waters. On Troubled Waters, we play games like, Motivational Speeches. And it goes a little like this. Riley, give us an improvised motivational speech. Why people should listen and subscribe to Troubled Waters.

I look around to this ad and I see a lot of potential to listen to comedians such as My people should listen and subscribe on Troubled Waters. Find it on MaximumFun.org or wherever you choose to listen to podcasts. Hey there, Stuart here. And I am here with my wife, Charlene, who is going to talk to you about an upcoming super fun event at our bar Minis. Hi, everyone. I want to invite you to our event at Minis this coming Tuesday, Valentine's Day. It is all gender speed-friending. It's all

the fun of speed dating without the threat of hooking up. So this is not a coupling event. It's just for making new friends. And that is going to be this Tuesday, February 14th at 7 p.m. hosted by our very own in-house drag queen, Gisabella, and that's Minnie's bar, sunset park right near the 36th Street and stop. Let us move along to advertisements from our sponsors. We have to learn. They're very kind. Well, I mean, they pay us, but we have a nice symbiotic relationship where we talk about

their great products and they give us money. And let me talk about one great product, which is a microdose gummies from Lumi Labs, a product that, you know, perhaps the usage of which makes it difficult to segue into ads, but makes my life better. I just love that you were like, they give us money and we talk about their products. And then we go into the product that is maybe the most personal to you. Our show today is sponsored by Microsoft's gummies. Microsoft's gummies. These morons give us money and then we talk about them.

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It's not necessary for the use of their product. Oh, well, that's not what as a result, I will say sponsorship that it's another symbiotic relationship. I think that Rikio and Microdose Gummy's enhance one another. But, microdose is available nationwide to learn more about microdosing THC. Go to microdose.com and use code flop, FLOP

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growing that business. You have business that's online. You got to have a website and Squarespace the way to do that. You can stand out with a beautiful website, not just a piece of crap, you can get a really good one. You can engage with your audience, sell anything you want, like products, content you create, even your time, your time's valuable, why don't you get paid for it? So you can sell your products on an online store,

you can sell physical or digital products, all kinds of stuff. You can create pro-level videos effortlessly. That's right. We're professionals. We will say this stuff you can make is our level of quality. This high higher than the level of online. Yeah. Yeah. And you can display posts from your social media profiles on your website. That's right. You can cross post. You don't have to be like Stuart and Dan hurriedly messaging each other pictures so we can all share them on our various socials. You can do it all in one place on Squarespace.

So head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop. That's F L O P to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey, guys, we want one last thing we want to tell you about. I mentioned at the top of the show and I'm going to mention it now slightly longer. That's right. The flop house is once again coming right to your door. If you live at the bellhouse in Brooklyn, New York, we're going to be there Sunday, April

2nd. It's our first live show in a while Sunday, April 2nd, 7 30 PM. We're going to be there Sunday April 2nd. It's our first live show in a while. Sunday April 2nd 7 30pm. We're going to be talking about battlefield earth. That's right. It's a classic bad movie. We're going to talk about it. And because it's a live show, it means we're not just sitting behind a table talking about a movie, but we'll also be standing up and talking to you. First in the form of presentations that you'll only see if you go to the show. Each of us will do as always an original PowerPoint presentation. Those are very funny. People like them. They're really fun.

I know what my presentation is going to be about. I think you're going to like it. And Danny, you know what yours is going to be about? I don't. I have an idea for part of it for an element. I got to say, like, maybe it's just because it's something different than what we normally do on the show. I really love doing these presentations. It's kind of a pain to put the PowerPoint together

as any work is, any effort, but it all pays off and just a lot of fun on stage. I mean, and it's super fun. And anyone who saw our Masters of the Universe live remote show saw Dan's Mustards of the Universe presentation, give you a taste of how beautiful it can be. So then we're gonna talk about the movie and then we're gonna take questions and answers

from you, the audience. So it's Sunday, April 2nd, 7. PM in Brooklyn at the Bellhouse, our old stomping grounds, talking battlefield earth by tickets now. They're at www.thebellhouseny.com and look up in the calendar and we'll be there. It's going to be great. And it's happening right before Passover. So I'm going to be in that Passover spirit. I'm going to be extra excited.

Yeah, that you're not going to have plagues visited upon you. Yeah, I mean, I would be the one visiting the plagues on others. I don't know if you're familiar with how that, what the Jews do in that story, but it's, you know, the plagues were on our behalf, yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, but there's a middleman. Yeah, four of you, but you didn you asked for the plagues per say. No, that's not true. It's not what we asked to be free from the Pharaoh and God said that the quickest way to do that would be to throw a bunch of frogs and blood and stuff at the end of the

pharaoh. Yeah, sure. Pull a PT Anderson and throw some frogs at the pro. That was what it was that God had seen Magnolia and was like, that's what I should do to free the Hebrews. Yeah. Are we ready to move on? Or do you have anything Magnolia and was like, that's what I should do to free the Hebrews. Yeah. Um, are we ready to move on? Or do you have anything else, Elliott? No, that's all I could talk about maniac of New York. Don't call it a comeback number one, which is in comic stores now, but it might not be it.

Thank you. It might be sold out by now, but stay tuned because issue two is going to come out too. All right. Well, then we'll move along to letters from listeners like you. This first letter is from Russell Lesney withheld. Uh oh. The day, mate, I want to tell you about movie poker face. I hope you like it. Can't wait to hear your thoughts. Cheers to kisses, big fan. Russell, we'll scoot in a place like this. He's trying to get you to go back to the theaters

on poker face. Yeah. Oh, I mean, I got to tell you, as much as people make fun of that little video, it was so, it was so, I was so happy to see it after the 25 minutes of trailers that were before my screening of Megan that I went to. That was like, this tells me that it's going to be, the movie's going to start soon. Good. Yeah. Okay. Well, this is from Russell, who writes, which romantic comedy do you think goes furthest to depict a really fucked up unhealthy relationship as charming and sweet? Is it simply love actually or is it something slightly subtler like failure to launch? Stay safe and awesome. Russell, I feel like we can't, like love actually is filled with so many bad

examples of relationships. Yeah. You should probably take that one off the table, right? Yeah. It's throwing off the curve. Yeah, it throws off the curve. Yeah. Although I will say that, so Audrey always likes to know what the questions are. She's curious.

She's curious like a cat. And she's going very, very, very cat. Yeah. I'm married to a cat. I'm married to cat. Coming this fall. But we were hard pressed to find. We were harder pressed to find a romcom that shows like a good relationship.

There is one. It's called pretty woman. It's about a generous gray hair daddy. I mean, it makes sense to me who doesn doesn't mind that his love interest has a career outside of their relationship? Thank you. But I started researching this and I was like, I had to, I was like, I'm trying to think

that there aren't any romantic comedies that don't have toxic unhealthy relationships, yeah. Yeah, I think that a large part of it is the comedy comes from like mishaps and the relationships and like cute bickering. And a lot of those things, the mishaps and the cute bickering when transferred to real life would be pretty unpleasant. Well, also, and the way relationships tend to work in life, not always, but tend to work

is you meet someone, there's a mutual attraction, you continue to get to know them, you fall, you relationship grows, and that's it. Whereas movies are all about, there's gotta be like, someone wants someone else, and there's an arc to the plot, and they've got it, it's a challenge they've got to overcome, or something's keeping them apart, and usually it's the easiest version of that, is just that they're already in relationship, or whatever.

Like the natural relationship does not have like a dramatically interesting arc, which is why they're wonderful. Like it's one of the things that makes them so good. You're saying all romcoms are bad. So let me see the big sick, somebody. What? I mean, I'm not saying they're bad movies,

I'm saying even that, like, even if that is somewhat based in reality, the idea that like, wasn't isn't it adorable how you kind of pretended you were my boyfriend while I was in the hospital? I mean, it's this, to be honest, it's, it's just a real life version of a while you were sleeping basically. Uh-huh. I just wanted that. What a Chicago movie. But even then, it's like, oh, I found the man of my dreams. All I had to do was pretend that his comatose brother was my fiance. Like it's yeah. Yeah. I mean, like we're going through like, okay, four weddings in a funeral, like they hook up a couple times, but she has a secret, like fiance. And then like the third

wedding is hers. And then like that breaks up. And like, but by that time, he's like involved in like a sham, like almost like the fourth wedding is getting like, and that breaks up. And like this sounds horrible. And then like we're like, okay, sleepless in Seattle, like Meg Ryan basically like, it's kinda starry. It's a guy and like stalks him. And like the thing that makes him like her the perfect woman is that she peels an apple, like,

time hangs his dead wife, like that's not something to build a relationship on. And then like, What is this birth? Was Nicole Kidman? Never, never been kissed. She's pretending to to build a relationship on. And then like, what is this birth? Was Nicole Kidman? Come on. Never been kissed. She's pretending to be a high schooler.

Or even if you go back and it doesn't matter how far back you go to like the shop around the corner, where the whole idea is that they hate each other during the day, but their parents who love each other and they, and you know, that's, it, there's no, I mean, I love his girlfriend. I mean, I love his girlfriend, but it's all about manipulation and like, I mean, I wouldn't necessarily call that a romantic comedy. That's because there's a romance in it, but it is a woman being essentially gaslit by the man.

Yeah, because she's too valuable a reporter. And I like that. Yeah, not even because he loves her that much, but just because she's just too good to leave employment at the newspaper. But once again, a man who doesn't care that his wife, that his love interest, has a career. So, you know, that's a positive thing, you know. So, thanks for selling it to me. I will say, as is often the case, maybe don't take your life lessons from the movies.

Yeah, never. And here's the other thing I was going to say about romcom type. Before we go, it's similar. And understand that is that romcoms teach you to never take no for an answer from respect to love issues, which is to take no for an answer. Go find something else. Don't don't convince them that they should love you. That's not how love works like. Yeah. Terrible. Phil Lasting with held rights, dear Dan Stewart and Elliot. I've been listening to the

flop house for years now. Thank you. And one and one of my favorite recurring joke structures is the airbud. There's no rule that says a dog can't play play basketball riff. It turns out that that line and indeed the whole plot of the movie airbud is a sham. I was watching it. Wait, wait, it's not based on a true story. There's wait, there's no dog in it. Where's this going to go? I was watching old looney tunes episodes on HBO Max the other night rest rest in peace. A long isn't it. Joy at Walt's there. Oh, well, terrible. Anyway, and came across a 1954 episode. I'd never seen before called

gone baddie in it. An underdog baseball team is getting clobbered by their opponents. And everyone on the team is struck out. Rather than forfeit the game, the team sends in their mascot, a live elephant. When the posing team complains, the referee pulls out a rulebook and declares, there's nothing in the rulebook that says an elephant, elephant, can't play baseball. The rat bastard writers of Airbud fully ripped off this loony tunes episode with a plot of their 90s children's movie. Can't believe they did it.

My question. And they would have gotten away with it too if not for Philip. My question to the three of you is what are the most egregious examples that you can remember of movies just wholesale stealing major plot points from older films, plot testically yours, Phil Lestay withheld. The first thing that came to my mind was not egregious because they like hang a lapshade on it. They call it out. But I like how in office space they're just like, yeah, we're just running the scam from Superman 3 where they take all the rounded up, rounded out pennies and deposit them.

Yeah, I mean, if we're talking about romcoms, we can talk about 10 things I hate about you that just rips off Shakespeare, right? Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I wanted some clarification from Phil. Do they mean stealing a whole plot, which is, I would say a plot of a good movie. I think I'll plot point. I would say, because of plot points, because again, researching this, I was like, sometimes

I'll go online on research just to create ideas on my head. And there are things that were like, these great movies were stolen from other movies. It would be like taxi driver and the searchers. And it's like, okay, well, there's a difference between a movie being inspired by and taking the framework of another movie where the themes and other movie

and reinterpreting it. That's how artworks. Like there's the same way that there are multiple paintings that are takes on pre-existing paintings. So, or the, I mean, even in cases where one of them I saw was Yojimbo and a fistful dollars, which the movie was like, that's why I care Kurosawa wrote a letter to Sergio Leone saying, you made a good movie, but it's my movie. Like that was my movie and you just remade it. But the, so I wonder if there's, but there's something about stealing plot points and Dan's not going to be happy with me.

But the one that came to mind right off the bat was that Toby McGuire scene in Babylon where I was like, they've got the hoots, but to rip off the Alfred Malena scene in Boogie Knights, a movie that is not old enough for them to just be like, and nobody's going to realize we're just taking this from another movie, you know? I mean, no, it's true, but on the other hand, they did add an alligator to it. That's true. They did add it and alligator. That's fair. Yeah. That's the rule of the ad. Alligators, you know what I mean? I don't know if you heard on when they're making boogie nights, they're like, should we have an alligator here? And they're like, I don't know.

Alfred's insisting we have this alligator in the scene, but they end up cutting it just due to cause reasons because they were going to use this complicated animatronic alligator that wears sunglasses. It's just too expensive, yeah. Yeah, and it was repurposed for Liolal crocodile many years later. Yeah. Yeah. They said we have to make a movie using only props that only exist in the warehouse right now. Oh, this is animatronic alligators has never been used.

Property of PTA with that being. What do you have any? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know like the raid and dread. property of PTA with that mean. What do you have any? Yeah, I don't know like, I don't know like the raid and dread who knows they're both great movies. They're very similar watching both. They're awesome. Yeah.

Okay, well, it seems like we're running out of steam on this later. Well, I will say, I'll say roll right in. And the other one that came to mind was except is that movie The Island, which was the clonus, which was so sued by the makers of parts, the clonus horror because it was such a ripoff of it. But that's, but again, that's more of a like, I want to think about this again for the future like movies that that steal like a plot point where it's like, oh wait, I saw them do this in this other movie. Yeah. Yeah. That would exist. That does often feel more like if you take a whole plot, you have to reinvent it or all

people are just going to say like, oh, this is just the same thing. Whereas it does sometimes weirdly feel more egregious. If it's just a plot point because people will borrow a thing and they're just like, well, I've seen this before this way. Couldn't you have done it in a different way? Yeah, there's a movie called, there's a Japanese samurai movie called Kill that there's one point where I was like, wait a minute, I saw this movie before, but it's. I've seen people get killed in movies.

They take the plot from a movie called Three Outlaw Samurai I think it was, and they just kind of insert it for a couple scenes into that movie and have the main character of Kill get involved, and there's probably that's pretty funny. Like if you're making a movie and you just take us a, the plot of a recent movie and just kind of stick it in your movie and have your character screw it up, like that's, that's a funny way to do it.

Elliot, I now realize that when you say the main character of Kill, you just, you just meant like the main character who is in the movie Kill. But for half a second, I thought you're saying that the main character is called kill. Like the main character of kill did this thing. Yeah, yeah, Captain Kill shows up and yeah, okay. Recommendations movies that we saw enjoyed. I'm going to recommend we enjoy movies. I'm actually going to jump in because Dan and I before we get to individual recommendations, I just want to throw out a group recommendation. Dan and I got the opportunity to see a special secret screening of the movie, The People's Joker, a movie that was, what was it? Toronto, it played a tip and then, then it was pulled.

They got pulled and hit with a bunch of legal bullshit from Warner Brothers. And so we were both when we got the opportunity to see it thanks to flop as listener Peter, you know, you know, you know who you are. It was, I really didn't know what to expect, but I was really excited to see it because you know, it's one of these like movies that you can't really see. And there was a lot of positive buzz. And I feel like the positive buzz did not prepare me for really how good it was. It has kind of like a manic, almost timoneric energy and also the energy from being a movie made by a bunch of talented weirdos who kind of collectively put this thing together all under the helmsmanship, I'm sure, of Virajru, the people's joker.

all under the Helmsman ship, I'm sure, of Virajru, the People's Joker. And it manages to also despite how wacky and silly it is, it manages to also be a very touching narrative. Yeah, touching emotional queer coming of age story. And it was really great. And it's crazy to me that Warner Brothers doesn't just buy it and put it on HBO Max. Yeah, and it's, what, it's mapped so cleverly to, you know, years and years of different iterations of Batman. Like it is both this, like, heartfelt queer coming of age comedy, and it is like, like a nerdy movie too. And it's, yeah, an examination of like on screen Batman through the years. Yeah. It's a very interesting movie. A lot of fun.

But does it have the, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, hey, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, song in it. I don't, I don't know. Wait, what's the, he's talking about the, the, the, the Gary Glitter Joker dance and the stairs. Oh, this, so I hadn't seen the movie Joker yet. And I, but I saw on Twitter or someone, like posting that scene and saying, like, oh, one of the most glorious moments in film that I never played it with the sound on. And then I finally played it with the sound on once. And that song played and I was like, oh, so this is a joke.

Like, there's no way they use that song in this moment in the movie. That would be stupid. And then I watched the movie and I was like, oh, so this is a joke. Like, there's no way they use that song in this moment in the movie. That would be stupid. And then I watched the movie and I was like, what? I thought that was a parody. I thought it was like when they take the dance scene and back the future and they have him playing death metal. Like I thought that's what it was. Yeah.

Yeah. But I really hope to see the people's joke. I've heard nothing of the things about it. Yeah. I'm really hoping if you have an opportunity to see it, I highly recommend checking that. Yeah, as recommend Dations go, maybe not the most useful one right now, because you probably can't see it. But what little weight the flop has, like we say it falls under fair use in parallel. Yeah. So it should be so. So take that to the course. Yeah. As someone who owns a certain amount of IP myself, I am on the fence about it.

But as a movie goer, I'm saying, release that film. As someone who owns the rights to a comic character, I'm saying, I want to learn more about the case. But that's me being selfish. Okay. So back to other recommendations. Back to life, back to reality. Yeah, another film that Stuart and I saw together.

Sorry, Elliot. I feel like we're making a real jealous now. Yeah, yeah. We went out and saw. I wasn't ready to be this jelly. In Infinity Pool on Friday night, Brandon Cronenberg, David Cronenberg's son. Continuing the family scam,

the stealing money from the Canadian film I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way.

I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way.

I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of the way. I'm not a big fan of version that played it. That apparently has footage of Alexander Sarsgard ejaculating on camera. Not fucking damn it. Now I get to watch it again. But this is, yeah, this is a tough one because like, it's, it's not for everyone.

Not most movies are not for everyone, but this even more so. But this one especially, it sounds like it. But I really enjoyed it. I don't, like I knew very little going in, but I did know the, I did it end up learning the basic plot. I don't even really want to give that. I, I'll give the start to the basic plot, which is just wealthy couple or at least one of them, the wife is wealthy.

The husband is sort of a hangar on on vacation and countering another wealthy couple that go outside it's like a it's a developing nation that's made up for the purpose of this movie and it's very dangerous outside the tourists like the resort that they're at but they got side the writer ends up killing a man and all sorts of trouble in the sous. And if you think you know where it might go, you do not. It is definitely a Quoteinburg family project.

Not that David had anything to do with it, but it has this, it carries his spirit along with them. I love the idea of that. Yeah, probably because it's funny. Yeah. It's very funny. Like people, I think, who talk about how extreme it is have been missing, but it's basically like funny. Yeah.

It's weird. Oddball comedy. I love the idea that David and Brandon are locked in this edible complex with their trying to outgrow each other to be like the the patriarch of the court of bergs. And I just want to point out like, I feel, I feel like it's such a popular thing right now in popular media for people to, like, the skewering of the rich to be a part of it. But so often, it also is tied in with, like, lifestyle porn, where it's like, these rich people are assholes, but look at all this cool shit.

And I feel like this movie does not give you that. Yeah, I mean, I would say that there's a certain beauty to it, but it's like that beautiful dread that you get in, like if you like the vibes of this kind of thing, like some sick part of you might want to visit. But yeah, I want to be sick to my stomach for a while, but yeah, it does not, it does not glamorize any of that. And, it's about, it is about the wealthy. It is about seeking sensation when you've become disincentive. And in a weird way, it's about what it's like to go on a vacation. Yeah, it's about being like a secret of the far reaches of sensation.

Okay, so what I'm hearing is it's kind of like hell, razor goes Hawaiian. Yeah, exactly. Okay, that's actually not too far off. Yeah, it was, it was a blast. Also, I walked out of it. I'm like, that wasn't that weird. I'm like, two years, skewed samples. Yeah, that feels like normal style.

She is. It was great. Along the same lines, my recommendation is going to touch on that stuff. I'm recommending Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio. That's right. Another vacation through that. Yeah. It is, you know, obviously going to it like, I've alone, yeah, I've been following Guillermo del Toro's career for a long time. And I was excited about the idea of a stop motion animation story, but honestly, I've seen so much Pinocchio shit lately. I'm kind of sick of it, but it is, it is so beautiful and it's so well told and like,

it's so human. And there's something about like the physicality of the stop motion stuff. I know all the ads are focusing on that, but like, it is something to see the fucking like grain on the fucking resin figurines almost. And there's moments where you're watching it and you're like, how the fuck did they do this? Like, there's a part where Chepeto's like kicks a balloon and it bounces around them like, how the fuck do you animate this shit? It seems crazy. And there's it's so like and the there's a few songs in there and they feel so natural and beautiful when they show

up. And it's, it's fucking sad and great and fun. And it talks about like fascist Italy. It's really great. And there's a, there's, and if you watch on Netflix, there's also a beautiful making of which shows you a lot of that stuff. And then of course you can also, if you live in New York, like I do, I was able to go to MoMA this week and check out the exhibit where you get to actually see some of the puppets that were used in the production.

And it's so amazing. And it's, it's a really beautiful, it's a really beautiful work of a, like an amazing achievement. And if you get a chance, it's on really beautiful, it's a really beautiful work of, like an amazing achievement. And if you get a chance, it's on Netflix, you should watch it. It's great. I am going to recommend a different movie, which is okay. Not that I'm saying those movies are not good movies, just not recommending a different movie. I took it to myself as a challenge. I don't take it as a slamer. Don't take this as a slamer. It's not just that I chose a different movie to recommend. Those movies, yeah, they're fine. Great. Yeah, I mean, that's good.

Sure. Yeah, it's not the... Like a baby, baby swamster. Yeah, exactly. Just one with a different way. I took it as a challenge. I said, this movie is not a very good poker movie. What is a better poker movie?

And so I decided a movie I like more about poker and gambling is California Split, directed by Robert Bommett, 1974. So Elliot Gould is a professional gambler. He befriends George Siegel, who's kind of a casual gambler, who is sliding into addiction. And we're kind of with George Segal as he, his obsession grows in intensity and just, it seems irretrievability. And he essentially gambles himself out of the gambling lifestyle. And it's kind of a, it's a picture of two men's friendship that is an unhealthy friendship for both of them and how it starts and continues and ends. And it's really good. There's funny moments in it. There's serious moments in it. They're both really

great in it. And it has something to do with kind of real life. And it's not afraid to push its characters into kind of foolish or uncomplimentary situations or have them do unlikable things as opposed to poker face, which doesn't have the courage of its convictions and is afraid to do those things. So if you want to see a movie about people really struggling with card playing and with gambling, but an entertaining way, but in a way that's both entertaining and affecting California split, I don't go out on a limb here by recommending a rubber dolphin movie to you guys, but give him a try. Give him a try on this one.

But that is what I mean, like for, I think because it was sort of hard to see for a while, it wasn't like available for a little while, that is one that doesn't get quite as much attention. I mean, it's, now it does, but like. But it definitely was for a long time it was seen as definitely kind of second tier, but it wasn't at the level of Nashville or something like that, you know.

Yeah, but I mean, I, that's one of my personal favorites. So I mean, it's, it's, see it before you know. Yeah, but I mean, I, that's one of my personal favorites. So it's great. I mean, it's certainly, it's, it's, see it before you see Dr. T and the women, you know, before you go to late stage, Alman, you know, yeah. Well, at this point, I would say see it before you see mash one of his biggest hits, which is marked by a lot of bad stuff that in general isn't in Alman movies, but no, it doesn't work. Well, I think the, well, yeah, mashed tapped into that, uh, into that spirit of rebellion of the 60s and 70s

that took the form of extreme misogyny and racism. Yeah. It was like, where is like, and, and, and we're joking about it. So it's okay. It's okay. And it's like, isn't it, it's time for all of us like white dudes to be free and live free.

And it's, yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't. Like golf while we're anyway. I mean, I understand what it's trying to say about the horrors of war and reaction to it. But it doesn't play as well anymore. Yeah. and like, golf while we're anyway, I mean, I understand what it's trying to say about the horrors of war and reaction to it, but it doesn't play as well anymore. Yeah. Um, now that we love war, it doesn't play as well. Yeah.

We're like fucking into it. Like, we love it. Yeah. Yeah. Skulls for the skull throne, baby. Yeah. All right. Well, on that ominous, just a weird note.

We're here to wait in an episode. Hey, if you like this show, mind you go over to maximumfund.org. We are part of the podcasting network maximum fun, comedy and culture, artisan, listener support, you'll hear it at the end of the episode. Check out some other great shows. A little preview, spoiler alert.

Spoiler for the logo at, for the logo of the end. And thank you to Howell Dottie, Alex Smith. This is real name. You can find him under Howell Dottie on Twitter. What does he do for us, Dan? He is our producer, our editor. We've been talking to him about other things that maybe we can do to extend the brand who knows if they'll happen or not, but he's a very talented, funny man in his own right. Check out what he's up to. Not at all. Not at all the scraggly loser that's painted him as the don't worry, darling episode. We got a little context.

There was a private joke between steward and Alex that made it a little more pleasant. I don't know. Um, and thank you for listening. This is a vintage treat for the floppy. I've been to McCoy. Hey, it's me, your boy steward. Well, it did.

That is good to see you. And I'm Elliot Kaelin waiting for ste for Stuart's finish so I could say good day Bye Crank in it and start recording. Yeah, I said we're talking about which I'm like cranking so much money cranking it I also I too would like to say that I'm recording. Oh, okay. I thought you were going to admit to spending a bunch of money cranking. That's what I thought you were going to say, too, Dan.

I mean, I certainly spent money on related, you know, materials. Crank adjacent devices. Memorabilia's. Yeah. Mechanical devices, mainly. Yeah, of course, yeah. Because you're all about cranking it with steam power.

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