The Flop House - Ep# 397 - 65

Episode Date: June 3, 2023

It's got Adam Driver! It's got dinosaurs! It's got a numerical title that sounds like a sports biopic and makes the title of this podcast episode look confusing! What more do you want? Well, it turns ...out that 65 needs a LITTLE more than all that to be a real movie, but at least it's out there trying.Wikipedia page for 65Movies recommended in this episode:Beau Is Afraid (2023)Air (2023)Park Row (1952)Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 On this episode we discuss 65. Did it make us smile a don or leave us dino sour? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house. I'm dancing Dan McCEvoy. But, ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da And I'm too business. And I'm reflecting on my regrets, Elliot Kaylin. Oh, the things I should have done differently. The doors I should have opened and the ones I should have left closed. So you're just playing your normal self. Not that different from normal. That's Elliot when he's in the shower and there's nothing to distract him from the horrible
Starting point is 00:01:20 things that he wishes he hadn't done. And usually they're just embarrassing things. They're not that horrible. What normally distracts you in the shower? Your weiner or your phone? What are you doing? Yeah, taking pictures of my weiner with my phone. Then my phone gets wrecked because of the water and the pictures don't come out. Yeah. You got to put it in a ziplock baggy idiot. That's why I keep a Polaroid camera in this shower with me, but I can't share those pictures with anybody on the internet because it's a polaroid, you know.
Starting point is 00:01:47 I mean, you can take up to speaker that I like listen to music or podcasts of the shower frequently. The problem, like I did realize and I hesitate to reveal this on air, lest it encourage people to listen to less of our podcasts, which pays our bills. encourage people to listen to less of our podcasts, which pays our bills. But I found at a certain point that the incessive chatter of the modern world was actually killing me. So I tried to cut back and have more sort of silence in my life. But you know, but I do like Kevin, having the speaker on. So we just just sit here and not.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Yeah, we're. Well, let's just exist in the moment. You know what? This is your meditation podcast guys. Everyone who's listening just get ready for two hours of unmitigated silence. Welcome to the Flophouse meditation podcast. Unfortunately, the soothing whale songs could not arrive today.
Starting point is 00:02:42 The whales were double booked. So we do have soothing dolphin songs. So just take a breath in. Now just breathe out. L.A.'s voice is reaching such high pitches that Zoom is like, stop it. Recording devices has hands out begging me to stop the noises. Silence would be good since the movie we're talking about today has very little dialogue in it. And it features one of the stars of the movie silence. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And for us. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So let me reset for a new so you are very confused and probably won't listen again. This is a podcast.
Starting point is 00:03:26 No, not after those dolphin sounds. Where we watch a movie that is purported to be bad, either by critics or audiences, and then we talk about it. In this case, the movie was 65. Those are the numerals, six and five. Sekini, three and numbers month. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Well, for the record, this is a movie that Sammy Higarkin drive. Oh, nice. Oh, that's really cool. Yeah. Yeah, as Stuart points out, of course, we had 80 for Brady. 65. We're going down. That's right. As we continue numbers month here on the flop house, doing numbers themed titles. M4Y. Yeah. May. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:08 And in this case, yeah, we did 65, the movie about Adam Driver meeting dinosaurs. Meeting is an interesting way to describe it. Yeah. Before we get into the plot of this one, I remember when the trailer dropped online, my little film circle was very excited. Like Adam Driver's gonna fight dinosaurs. You see that trailer yet? It's produced by Sam Raimi. But I didn't actually, I didn't see the trailer for a little bit. And then all I remember of it was the shot later on where there's a T-Rex right behind Adam D. Yeah, I gotta say that the trailer didn't do a whole lot for me. I mean, as a trailer,
Starting point is 00:04:48 like, am driver and dinosaurs sounds appealing. It did a lot for you as a friend who helps you move. Yeah, I mean, it might crazy. At this point in my life, I was more excited by the presence of am driver than I was about the promise of dinosaurs. Yes, and here's, and this is, I kind of felt the same way, and this is coming from a real hardcore dinosaur kid. I love dinosaurs, always times, I've seen those. You look like a dude who knows a fuckload about dinosaurs. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Hey, wait a minute. I've been, I've been binging a podcast called Terrible Isards that's all about dinosaurs, because I feel like I'm not up on the latest science and I really wanna be, because there's been, especially in the last 10, 15 years, there's been a lot of exciting discoveries in the world of dinosaur paleontology. But I love dinosaurs.
Starting point is 00:05:30 I'll never forget seeing Jurassic Park when it came out of theaters. I saw it twice within 12 hours or so because I just wanted, it was so amazing to me to see real looking dinosaurs that looked alive. And I think I'm just, at this point, we've seen it. Like we've seen movies with dinosaurs. It's not a special thing anymore. And the way that they could have staked out a special territory is maybe if the dinosaurs in this were accurate to the latest science, so they looked different or weird. But instead, they're just kind of your average movie dinosaurs. And the dinosaurs in the movie act like horror monsters,
Starting point is 00:06:04 like they don't act like animals. Yeah, well, it's, I mean, yeah, it's even more beyond them just being like movie dinosaurs. They're like not particularly trying to be any actual dinosaurs that existed. I read a little bit of the production and apparently it started out a lot more like what you were talking about. We're like, let's make it really accurate. And then they're like, you know what, for the type of like, this is their thinking, I don't know if they're right or wrong, but for the type of like, stripped down simple action sci-fi story, we're telling it's better for us to just not care about
Starting point is 00:06:35 it. And I think if they had, if they had taken that energy and invested it into like cool scenes or like new things that could happen with the characters. Yes. But the movie itself feels so stripped down and so, I mean spoiler alert, I guess we'll get into this more. It feels so stripped down and so generic and so kind of like, blah, you know, like nothing. It just feels like a very generic movie with generic dinosaurs as opposed to like something cool and crazy with some new hot dinosaurs that I think are going
Starting point is 00:07:05 to sound a little something like this. Well, and it's they're dolphin dinosaurs. You know what? Here's the funny thing, Elliot, is like, I'm sure that, you know, I mean, you're recording directly into your zoom digital recorder. You know it. As as we explained in the behind the scenes, uh, pullback. But your dolphin noises are blowing out the zoom thing. So whenever you do that, I just see you.
Starting point is 00:07:31 We see you smiling and doing old things. Which I'm not kicking back. We see you're you feel like, you know, but. Yeah. It's just like in a, it's just like in another company documentary when he's singing, being alive and it's such a beautiful song, but you can see straight down his throat because of the angle of the camera, and you just see how much the inside of a human mouth
Starting point is 00:07:51 looks like Gore covered Visara, and you're like, oh, this is not the way Sondheim intended these lyrics to be taken with a sense of horror with the interior of all humans. No, he did, I have him right here. Yeah, I mean, the- I've always loved puzzles, Dan. interior of all humans. No, he did. I have him right here. The, yeah, I mean, the, the, well, I always loved puzzles, Dan.
Starting point is 00:08:16 And the ultimate puzzle is how you disassemble a human body. Oh, god. No, Steven Sondheim, you are the zodiac killer. There he is, the light, Steven. Horrible. I've buried each piece of James Lipin somewhere in your apartment. You're like, it's all the series of clues. I'm saying that you were going to say that you buried each piece of James Lipton in my apartment. Which also would have been appropriate to the theater, I suppose. Yes, somewhat, I guess. That's why there's, that's why James apartment has a beating of a terrible heart, you know?
Starting point is 00:08:45 But you know what movie does it have a terrible heart? You're talking about that in that Bruce Spring sing song. There's the beating of a terrible heart. We all hear that terrible heart. Yep. So is the beating of a telltale heart? Everybody has a telltale heart. Everybody has a telltale heart. So this movie is kind of sold on the promise that we have Adam Driver as a space traveler who lands on a space driver. He drives
Starting point is 00:09:15 the spaceship. Yeah. Lands on our space trucker in fact. Millions years ago, I wouldn't call him that. He's more of a space airport shuttle driver because he's just carrying human cargo, yeah. And he lands on Earth 65 million years ago and there's dinosaurs there. And I feel like that's the kind of premise that needs like a poster with like him in like a painting with him in like a ripped space suit with like bulging muscles and like very like 70s paperback thriller. Yeah, which is one direction you can go.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Which is one bend in like a metal bikini clinging to his leg as he stands on top of a pile of slaughtered dinos. Yes. Now, that's, I mean, I feel like that's one direction they could have gone, or they could have gone like hyper realistic, and I feel like they ended up somewhere kind of in the middle that just doesn't have a point. Yeah, and the direction they did take was to have him face one direction on a prehistoric earth.
Starting point is 00:10:07 That's right. The world's favorite non-Korean boy band. Finally against Adam Driver and Chris Berkers. And here's, I mean, my main issue with this is the movie, it kind of, it sets itself up for a fall right at the beginning because a lot of what you just described should be a surprise. We should assume that this movie is set in the lot of what you just described should be a surprise. We should assume that this movie is set in the future and that and then it's a surprise when he lands on prehistoric earth and we realize he's not from earth actually, but the movie as I
Starting point is 00:10:34 Stewart will tell us when he's the summary, the movie starts with text that gives that game away. Okay. So we got we got some production logos and specifically the final logo is from, is that T.S.G logo where a agent Greek guy shoots an arrow through a bunch of ass. And so Dizzy is proving that he's Odysseus by pulling back the bull. Oh, I was not wrong by saying that. You were right. The ancient Greek. That's very true.
Starting point is 00:11:00 I was like, yes, he looks like some fucking dudes avatar on Twitter that has fucked up a little bit. Yeah, someone who's like, yeah, on Twitter that has fucked up a little video. Someone who's like, yeah, I'm a Bronze Age pervert. Anyway, so here's my, anyway, everything was better back in the old days when things were terrible, you know. So that, so that was a good result. Because of course, if we went back to that time, I'd be in the leadership position. There's no way that me, Amoran, would ever, it would ever occur to me that I might
Starting point is 00:11:20 be a slave in that time period, or die up for some reason. I, of course, would be a a philosopher king or perhaps a warrior king. There's no way. There's no way I would be one of the many teaming thousands or millions who were just no buddies. I would be shocked. I would be shocked. Yeah, this guy we just made up.
Starting point is 00:11:38 So I bring up the production logo. We made him up, but there's like a lot more stuff. There's a lot more stuff. Yeah. Yeah. This, I bring up the production logo because it dissolves into a star field and we're in outer space. We, Odysseus is returning to the star dust from which all humans were formed.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Exactly. We get some text overlay on the screen that says, prior to the advent of mankind in the infinity of space, other civilizations explored the heavens. And then we find planet Somaris, which is a, we only see a little bit of, we see a beach and we see Adam Driver playing with your marines. It's all like a thick-o-flan. Yeah, it's a planet named after something
Starting point is 00:12:21 Frazier might have said, yeah. Mm-hmm. So, yeah, Adam Driver plays a character named Mills, and he is spending some time with his sick daughter, Navin or Navina, I don't remember. And- Very popular name these days. And Navin's mom, whose character name is Navine's mom. And, uh, basically her, she's listed in the credits on and Wikipedia as Ilia. Uh, but I don't know
Starting point is 00:12:52 what she's, I don't know if she's ever named on screen. No, and on the credits, just say Navine's mom. Oh, so, uh, so where is Wikipedia getting this, getting this name from? No, I don't know. I mean, call a Valentine saying. Call a Valentin Foster. I also if he invented this name. I know that there were a couple of very different cuts of this movie that were tested out. Maybe they got it from an alternate version that got in a little more detail. Should have given us the extra dyno cut. I will say this. That opening text, I love it. I love it in a different movie.
Starting point is 00:13:22 The idea that anything that is saying before humans, the other species explore the infinite cosmos. I'm on board, but then when I find out that that other species is just like Adam Driver and his family and the hangout beach, I'm less interested. Let's hang it out of beach. They're explaining he, Mills is taking a new job. It requires him to go on an exploratory run for two years, but it's going to triple a salary because he needs that money to pay for his sick daughters, like life saving treatment,
Starting point is 00:13:51 which right away, guys, I got to say, like, oh, fuck this. Like, like in the infinite cosmos, again, we have what? Health insurance, like, what the fuck? Are like, healthcare is tied in with our fucking employment again. Jesus Christ. Yeah, even before that, well, that's the thing God created that. Even before the advent of humanity, God created an employer based health insurance system. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:15 And I like, I like a blue collar, like I like a blue collar sci-fi story. I love aliens. I love stars. I can tell you. I do not assigns. I'm not a science fiction story. I said, in the 90s, I said stars by definition. I can tell you, I love the new color. It's not a science fiction story set, in the night. Sadly, it's very, very real.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Yeah, or like, as I said, stars by definition. Or like, or like, this whole, the premise of the movie basically feels like a mix between like, dead space and turk dinosaur hunter kind of. So yeah, I, I actually liked this setup because I found it pretty efficient in like getting me on board with these characters without being too, like, I mean, like it was a very obvious, but it didn't feel like as clunky as a lot of movies handle this kind of material. And then I would say, oh, sorry, you finished what you were saying. Oh, just like, I was more mad than later on, spoiler alert, like we learned that this daughter has like died
Starting point is 00:15:10 during his time in space, you know, and I found that kind of just sort of mean on the behalf of the movie in a weird way. It is somewhat, I would say like a chat GPT written script, it is efficient but solace. Yeah. It is nothing, I would say like a chat GPT written script, it is efficient but soulless. Yeah. It is very efficient. It gets the information out of the way, but there was nothing about it where I was like,
Starting point is 00:15:31 oh, these characters feel alive. There's something about them that's interesting or unique. It just was like- And the thing is, if you're going to introduce that kind of a thing where it's like, okay, even in this fantasy universe, capitalism is basically crushing us like if they I mean I feel like if they built into that and added more to that theme Throughout the rest of the movie. I would have been like okay. Yeah, I'm into it But it felt like it was like just as you said just like churned out by like let's get this out of the way
Starting point is 00:15:57 This makes sense people really understand it looks like someone was was selecting from a menu of Options for reasons to care about a character. And they're like, okay, sick kid. Great, we'll do it. Yeah. So as I said, the next thing we see is some time later, Mills is sleeping on a spaceship. That spaceship goes through an as of now uncharted asteroid field. And he has to do some quick evasive maneuvers. They get the ship gets damaged. And he has to crash land on a undocumented
Starting point is 00:16:30 planet, which we were about to say space planet. Yes, space planet, which of course we will later find out as Earth. And he manages to send out a distress signal at the last minute, giving their coordinates. Ship has crashed in a swamp. He's been injured, half the ship is missing, the cryo units are damaged, and it seems like he's the only survivor. Yeah, and so I have to wonder, is this the exploratory mission he was talking about earlier? Because this seems like maybe we've jumped ahead.
Starting point is 00:17:07 This is a different mission because like, why is there a bunch of cryo people that he's shuddling somewhere? I think when he said, well, he is bringing colonists to a colony. So I think that's when he, if they refer to it as an exploratory mission earlier, it's a, it's a, it's an unfortunately confusing way
Starting point is 00:17:24 to describe it. I think I'm not sure if he is looking for a, for a, have it all a, it's an unfortunately confusing way to describe it. I think I'm not sure if he is looking for a, for a, a habitable planet for them, or if they know the place they're going to and he's dropping them off, but that's right. But this is that mission. I don't think he was like, yeah, on this two-year mission. Anyway, I took another job while I, right, whatever I finished, you know, I think it's a, this is supposed to be that mission. If it's not supposed to be that mission, then it's a crazy way to write a movie. It's a weird, extra weird setup. So he, like he tries to record another log or another distress signal giving an update as to his situation, but he doesn't have the heart. He contemplates suicide, but the memory
Starting point is 00:17:58 of his daughter is what keeps him going. Staves off that impulse. So he treks through the swamp. We have like some sinister creatures in the background, but nothing particular, just an overwhelming sense of dread. There's that happens where he's like waiting through a swamp. And there's like some kind of sea serpent that rises. It is like breaking the surface of the water around him, but he doesn't notice and doesn't interact with him. Perfect for a 70s paperback. So I find that we'll cover. He finds one of the all the other cryo units are damaged. Everybody else seems dead, but he does find one cryo unit with a survivor and at a young
Starting point is 00:18:34 girl that we'll learn is named Koa, who he rescues and takes back to the crash site. But on his way back, he finds a massive footprint that looks just like a tyrannosaurus Rex's footprint, and we hear dinosaur roars, and then boom, 17 minutes in a tidal baby, 65 on the screen. And it says with the text, 65 million years ago, a visitor crash landed on Earth. And we see there on Earth, baby. You know what? Which seems like a perfect way to reveal that information if you hadn't already set up that they were not from. Well, I mean, they know that here's a fucking thing. Like no movie can have a surprise anymore.
Starting point is 00:19:14 The way things are marketed. This thing like the barbarian had a surprise. This was revealed in all of the good point. Good point. But even then, even if I'm the first release, I love that stuff. And I know I'm usually a fan also of like, why are you hiding the monster so much? Like we're gonna see it on the poster, why are you doing this?
Starting point is 00:19:33 Like with critters, why are you and not to see the critters? But the rebuttal to my own complaint from that and this is that like, this move, if you believe in this movie, it's gonna have a life long pass the original release. And it's going to be seen by many people who haven't seen the trailer. And you like the fact, I mean, at this point, everyone knows the end of plan of the apes. And when they release it on DVD, they have the Statue
Starting point is 00:19:57 of Liberty scene on the cover of the DVD. But like you sit at least when you're making the movie, make bring us into that story as if, you know, the story. And I know the story, you know. I'm not arguing against you in a perfect world. I just know the world we live in, where this is all gonna be revealed. What I love, I would love more movies where I end up being surprised
Starting point is 00:20:16 because everything isn't revealed immediately. And I don't know exactly what it is before I walk into the theater. And I say this as a person who likes to read things about movies ahead of time but I try and skip over anything that I think is actually gonna to spoil any like plot details but I mean I just know that they know that this is gonna happen unfortunately in that case Then they should go the other way and like just not worry about a twist like at the beginning just be like
Starting point is 00:20:43 Welcome the Gleep Zorp. I'm a on my name's, my name's Grinke Grunk and we're all aliens. Oh, we've got to go, but don't crash land on earth. Yeah, the monster planet. Why would I go there? Full of lizard monsters. Now, you make it. Oh, no, oh shit, we're on the lizard monster planet. Oh, damn it.
Starting point is 00:20:58 Oh, God, this is no one ever comes back from me. Yeah, this is a good point, Elliott, which is this movie should have been called Gleep Zorp and Glissa's Honks onks big adventure on the logic planet. On the monster planet. Again, he's super good. So he, he starts, he's exploring his surroundings. He's looking for the, the back half of the crash shuttle because that has the escape shuttle a part of it. And he's hoping that will let him get off this fucking planet. Meanwhile, he finds a bunch of dyno bones and claws right by a geyser. And the geyser almost roasts him, but he survives and catalogs this dangerous terrain feature for later use.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Can I? It's Chekhov's geyser. Real quick, I got to say, on the subject of Geysers. Okay. On a recently on lawn order. On the subject of Geyser. Yeah, recently on lawn order, Stabler had to go undercover because there was somebody using a gay dating app. Guys, if you're going to keep interrupting me, I'm going to go longer. So we know. We ever see a lot of work. Stabler, played by Christopher Maloney, is on this show called lawn order. Okay. Are you following me a saying. So, our stabler played by Christopher Maloney is on this show called Law and Order, okay? Are you following me? Okay. So he's, and he's a question.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Wait, is that the first reason you don't want to send her up? Yep, he is, he is in the show Law and Order, where he plays a detective and his character's name is Stabler. And he has to go undercover on a gay dating app. Is Christopher Maloney from Wet Hot American Summer? Yes. And he has to go undercover on a gay dating app because somebody's been using that to commit crimes. So of course, there's jokes about like Christopher Maloney being like, wait, am I a daddy? And it's like, duh, no shit, you're a daddy.
Starting point is 00:22:31 Yeah, you're a dad. You're a dad. You're a host. So the thing is that that dating app on the show is called Geyser, GUYSER. And I got to say that is fucking incredible. And that's the reason why writers deserve fair pay. Thank you. No machine. I feel bad for it. Yeah. We shouldn't have interrupted.
Starting point is 00:22:51 We didn't know you were doing it. You were being so stupid. So we need some entry that a dating app called Geyser creates in your mind. Something spouting out hot liquid all over everything. Yeah. And the timeline is like you're going to explode. I don't want that. We're like, you know, perfect.
Starting point is 00:23:07 They're like explode on you or something like that. Yeah, yeah. I love it so much. Yeah. Can I. Guys, your last name for that. All the writers, the writers for long orders should get, should win like a hundred Emmys just for that.
Starting point is 00:23:17 It's also talking about things related to the landscape. Something a little less, uh, jizz oriented. Is that possible? I just wanted to say that. I mean, according to this one, uh, according to this one, James, James, less, uh, jizz oriented. Um, is that possible? I just wanted to say that, I mean, according to this one, uh, according to the natural world, guys, according to this one, James Tiptree story, all of humanity is just basically sperm carriers for a larger organism that reproduces by having us colonize the universe, uh, until we encounter specific land. It's really very, uh, cogent and relevant. It's a great story. It's a great story. No, I just wanted to say that I texted Elliott and Stewart this, but I want to say on air, I will give the movie this in terms of like, I saw the trailer and I was like, this
Starting point is 00:23:56 is going to look like every other sort of mid budget, which now the era of only blockbusters means low budget. It feels like action science fiction movie. It's going to look too, like, grimy and gritty. It's going to look too digital. And I have to say that this movie, I feel like looks pretty good. Like, there are some sort of great times, but that's connected to, like, if it's raining or foggy, like, and then there's some sun and the other is told me legends of the gray times when the old world does when Liam Neeson fights fucking
Starting point is 00:24:33 was. But you get seems that Liam Neeson's he's just at he's just at his kids parent teacher meeting in some wolves walking this. Oh, another great time. Okay, just straps the mini bottles to his fingers and goes hog wild on them. Like the movie's atmospheric, but you also get things that are full sun and it seems like, for the most part, what they did was they found real locations and then they're augmented by digital stuff, obviously.
Starting point is 00:25:00 But a lot of it is shot in, in an actual place rather than just on the soundstage somewhere. And I appreciated that. Yeah. I will give it credit on the low bar of it, it clearly showing us a real location. I wish something more interesting was happening in that location. Yeah. No, no, no, sure, sure, sure. Considering that again, we're dealing with the premise of space traveler fights dinosaurs. Okay. So he, uh,s sees a reflection of something metallic on a nearby mountain and his little scanner thing. He sees his reflection in a snow covered hill with landslides coming out. And he, he, he, he finds out that that's where the escape shuttle is. It's a mere 15 kilometers
Starting point is 00:25:41 away. He's going to have to get his ass over there. Before we can do that. Did it find in the digital that they use kilometers in this alien race, or it's just that they translated all of his language into English. So why not? I find that if I start worrying about that sort of thing, I go insane. Okay. Fair. What do you worry about? I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it.
Starting point is 00:25:50 I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. in slings or I mean even if they had said like click space units like space miles 15 space miles away 50 smiles so before we can head before we can head to which of course stands for space miles before you can head to that crash he gets attacked by a very small dinosaur, and he bludges it to death, assuming it's some kind of alien or something, I guess. Well, assuming it was trying to kill. It was trying to take it.
Starting point is 00:26:33 This dinosaur also jumps out of nowhere. It's a very funny moment to have a dinosaur just leaping out of, it's like a big cat. This can of peanuts, let me know. What? Dinosaur. Also, unfortunately, guys, because Adam Driver bludges that dinosaur, my grandfather doesn't exist. So I don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:53 No, no, no. Real sound of thunder. Yeah, the classic story is sound of bludging. So color the young girl, the survivor wakes up and follows him. And they find the carcass of a big dinosaur. Turns out that she doesn't speak the same language as Mills. And so they have some trouble communicating, but he explains that they need to get to this crash site.
Starting point is 00:27:15 He makes like a little diorama or display or drawing using red dust or spice or something. And he ends up in red dust. And he elures to the Safari movie Red Dust. And he lies to her or Dust Devil. He lies to her and says that her family is up there. Though he knows full well that her family is most likely dead. So, you know what I should call Red Dust a Safari movie. It takes place in a jungle, but it's not a Safari. Thank you, Ellie.
Starting point is 00:27:40 It's good. It's great. Because they're in French Indochina. It's they're not in Africa. So I apologize. It's good. It's because they're in, they're in French Indochina. It's, they're not in Africa. So I apologize. It's a, it's a reference to the, to the Jungle movie, Red Dust. So they're Hike and Cross Country trying to avoid the notice of predators. They bond a little over poisonous berries, giant bugs, and they rescue a baby dyno from a tar pit only to watch you get torn apart by a bunch of other little Dino. Yeah, that was kind of a real sad moment when they're like, we saved it.
Starting point is 00:28:10 I was surprised the movie was that mean, because you know, honestly, like, the thing about this movie is, a lot of it feels like it could just be, like this would be a good movie for older kids, I feel like. Yeah, you know, like this feels like a young adult adventure. It's very confined. It's, you know, the story of twins, a kid, a guy. And it doesn't feel like a movie adaptation of a choose your own adventure novel. Yeah. Again, this like has all the beats of a survival horror game.
Starting point is 00:28:38 I think, you know what, this would be, you're right, this would be a good entry level. Like, if you want to show like a 10 or 11 year old, if you're interested in the idea of like science fiction adventure movies and they haven't seen this kind of story before All right, this would be a good entry level. If you want to show a 10 or 11 year old, if you're interested in the idea of science, fiction, adventure movies, and they haven't seen this kind of story before, and there's nothing particularly scary or too violent or offensive, and something like that. Yeah. So he ends up losing his signal. So he has to climb a tree to get a better signal on the escape craft, only to fall and
Starting point is 00:29:03 dislocate his shoulder. That was foolish of him. Coah has to help him pop it back into place just in time to start blasting in an ambush from a bunch of dinosaurs. That fall, not to bring in a frame of reference that Stewart doesn't understand, but that fall reminded me of when you're playing a Dungeons and Dragons game. And it's like, oh yeah, I just have to hop across this thing. Okay, roll like a two dexterity and you roll a one. It's like, oh, you fell in and broke
Starting point is 00:29:27 your neck. Like it's something that should be a very easy roll. It destroys you. Yeah. We got ants on his hand. Yeah, ants on his hand. They fell. So he dislocates his shoulder and these like dinosaurs start getting ready to pounce out of the mist. And he's like, okay, step on my hand and then they pop it back in just in time for him to like, it's like one smooth motion. Pop shoulder back in, gunstock goes to shoulder and he starts blasting. And I kind of like the like sound of the pulse rifle here, the like sound effect of it. Sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:58 And this is like this is what the dream TV is for this. Like the first action scene in the movie. Movie said something like, this is the only movie where Adam Driver, Marine, has been able to use some of his weapons training. I'm like, I can't be true. There's no way the Marines didn't teach him how to punch walls like he does. Yeah, a married story, yeah. Yeah, that level, yeah, I'm not going to get into that.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Okay. This is how Marine wins an argument, I'm not gonna get into that. Okay. This is how marine wins and argument, semper fi, hit the wall. Okay, so there's gonna be two hits, me hitting the wall and me, I guess hitting the floor because I fainted because of the pain of hitting the wall. Yeah, they're like, so you're like, you're like, the marine driver. This is where we're gonna teach you how to treat a puppet of a little girl as if it was a real little girl. You don't think you're gonna use this training, what you will. And when he's on the set of a net, he was like, all my Marines training is finally coming
Starting point is 00:30:53 into, coming in handy. I never thought I'd use it, but now I am. Mm-hmm. Don't worry, Stewart. There's just a little plot. We'll still get through it. No, I was kind of worried because we haven't even made a single joke about the fact that like, do you think there is ever a point where Adam driver was like you could shrink me down
Starting point is 00:31:08 I could be a mini driver and they're like we're not legally allowed to do that. We can't call you mini driver What have you called that? What have you daged me into a baby driver again? We can't we can't do that. I'm allowed to do that What if you killed everyone else name driver? So now I'm the driver Again, that sounds even less legal than us infringing on the copyrights. What if you wrote a book about me and I was a paperback driver? That song is called paperback writer, Adam Driver. It's not called paperback driver. Oh, yeah, now the song makes more sense to me now, because I was like, how can you be a paperback driver? I don't know what it is. But what about what I get that whole? What I get that whole name, what I get that whole name, what you be a paperback driver? I don't know what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what about, what do I get that role?
Starting point is 00:31:45 What I get that role would you call me drive angry? And they're like, well, that's not your name. Well, I did, but what if I was real long and full of water and I was the Mississippi driver? Again, that's river, Mississippi river. It's a different word, it doesn't rhyme. It's the stuff. It has a lot of the same letters.
Starting point is 00:32:00 It's all the same letters except for one that's true. Yeah. And now then he goes into his tight five about the letter D. You ever notice how the letter D changes the pronunciation of I if you're sticking on top of river. What's that all about? Who made those rules? Excuse me, Mr. Alphabet, can you explain this to me? A D has magic powers? Sure it does. I'm like, where do you get that? Where do you find that brick wall to stay? I know. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:32:23 In a pretty strong world. This is from Adam Driver's Comedy Central roast of the alphabet. He's wearing a blazer, but he has a t-shirt on his face. It's surely not. He's breaking all the rules. And then we let him. He's a very, very clean brave jeans. He's wearing. Let me do my impression of Q.
Starting point is 00:32:39 I'm scared. You keep me company. I don't want to start the letter without your help Is that you from Star Trek? James Bond Here's my impression of ex guys. I almost never get to start a word. It's not fair X 23 She's just a little girl. She's just a little girl will. So speaking of little girls, this one little girl goes running away from the dinosaurs
Starting point is 00:33:10 and up on a beach with other dinosaurs and then nasty dino guys are chasing her. And they're about to get her. But at the last minute, that's right. Adam driver shows up and scares them off saving her. However, she's a little bit traumatized. So they have to play a little whistle game to calm down. Yep. Cause that's when his dad skills come into play. Much as in Guardians of the Galaxy volume three, the real superpower of his fatherhood. It's been a bad. They have a little whistle stop. So they make camp in a little cave. They make camp in a little cave. And while they're sleeping, a little bug crawls into Koa's mouth and Andrew has to blow
Starting point is 00:33:45 it up. It's pretty, it's kind of gross. It's not as gross as the similar scene in the sister's brothers, which is a grotesque scene about about what a spider biting him while he's sleeping. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. It's a good movie. That's not gross. Where does it bite him? It bites him, I think, on the face of this face, like, blows up really gross. Anyway. That's horrible. Yeah. So, uh, but they're like, they're proximity alarm goes off and they are like, uh, oh, is it another bug crawling into our mouths?
Starting point is 00:34:12 But no, it's a T-Rex. A Tyrannosaurus shows up right behind them in a fairly effective like surprise shot. So effective, they have to use it in the trailer. So he turns around and blasts it with his pulse rifle, but it's not able to. We don't want to use it in the trailer, but we have to. It's just two damn effective. So they're kind of forced deeper into the cave because his pulse rifle is not enough. And don't worry, we're going to see more of this treacherous tyrannosaur later in the movie. So they're wandering through the caves. Yep, they're wandering through the caves. They eventually get stuck and they have to start blasting their way through using little
Starting point is 00:34:48 grenades that causes a cave in and separates them. And Adam driver has to go back the way he came. And driver, of course, playing the character Mills, not playing himself. That would be weird. Oh, right, sure. So Mills has to make his way back. He gets jumped by another sneaky dyno and they have a little fight in the dark. And he uses the little sonar feature of his scanner thing to distract it before he blasts it.
Starting point is 00:35:14 So he's kind of using all his equipment pretty well here. Oh, yeah, that's the marine training. You got, you know, everything you have can be used as a weapon if you need to. It's very resourceful. I will say that like, yeah, this is like he has us, you know, these all these weapons and wonderful toys, not. Where does he get them? Well, I mean, I think that's a place where this movie falls down. Just as the movie Cowboys versus Aliens. I believe this is called Cowboys and Aliens. Cowboys and Aliens, sorry. We don't you don't know
Starting point is 00:35:42 until you watch the movie whether they're going to fight or not. Maybe they're just hanging out. Maybe they're just hanging out. Maybe they're dating. Who knows? Yeah. Much like that fails to deliver on a comic book. Like, oh man, what if Cowboys and aliens? What if? Like this doesn't quite deliver on. Like, I think that the idea is, okay, obviously, obviously shout out to Fred Van Lenty who wrote the original, I think the original treatment for Cowboys and Aliens. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Obviously.
Starting point is 00:36:11 I think it was better than the movie. Fred Van Lenty is great. And a regular Adam driver, just, you know, you're run of the mill, not a bad, not a bad, not a bad, not a bad, not a bad, not a bad, Hollywood today. Not a dark side Jedi, just a person. Yeah, he would not farewell against a jungle full of dinos. You're saying like a lucky Logan Adam driver would not farewell against a dinosaur jungle. But this is one that has to drive one ironically, because he's describing in that movie. This guy's got a bunch of space stuff, you know.
Starting point is 00:36:44 He's got space. So it's like a predator. I mean, we're all made of space stuff, thank you, Kyle. Yeah. But you know what I'm saying? What I'm trying to get to is the fun trashy version of this would be, would lean a lot more on like, okay, how is a space man with his like space technology going to take on these, you know, primitive, but dangerous and large and all of her mom's. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:07 Kind of like a predator. Yeah. Yeah. Or like he has a gun that shoots like circular saw blades or something. So he's like chopping his off a dinosaur. Yeah. It'd be cool, right? It's a fucking awesome.
Starting point is 00:37:16 Yeah. I mean, I guess what I'm saying is like, yeah, it falls like a little sugarkin. Like he's a fucking elder guardian. Yeah. Exactly. I know what you're talking about. Dan, is it clear that I don't know what he's talking about? No, it is.
Starting point is 00:37:27 No, but it falls into the neither fish nor foul thing that Stuart's talking about where it's like. No, they're dinosaurs. They're the ancestors of modern birds. You know, dinosaurs never want to get to the end. We'll see, yeah. They're just the whole thing to birds. It's kind of trying to do a serious version of the story, but, but, but, Space Man versus
Starting point is 00:37:43 dinosaurs inherently a little more, uh, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, The, the serious, for sure, this, I feel like would be one that like takes the survival aspect of it. That one's serious. Yeah. Where it's really a man against nature story where you're taking the detail seriously. And it doesn't quite do that either. And then there's also dinosaurs on top. And there's also dinosaurs. Yeah. And, but you're right. It doesn't, it clearly doesn't want to do the silly pulpy version of it where he's just like, get extinct and then like blows a dinonicus his head off, which would be a crime. Dino on it because it's the best dinosaur.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Or like jump kicks a brown ass or his head right off. Yeah. Oh, man, if only that's the Scott ad conspiracy. I mean, it's like a team all just like. Yeah. That's that strongly. Yeah. The hard part is the job.
Starting point is 00:38:44 I'm still as a second brain right? Or second heart. He attached that strongly. Yeah. The hard part is the jump. I still has a second brain, right? You're a second heart. No, that's the best. That's a nerve cluster. The hard part is not the knocking off the head. The hard part is the vertical leap to get to that. Let me see that.
Starting point is 00:38:55 He's going to have to jump kick off a tree. Or you're going to get a ramp. It just be an a tree and then sort of jumps down while kicking. Yeah. Just as he's standing on a branch and just as a spin kick and knocks that dinosaur's head clean off. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Like a Ken style, Ken master style hurricane kick. And then the head flies across the horizon and it lands in the lap of a dinosaur that's just waking up and he looks down in screams. And that is a hammered head that landed in his lap. Yeah. Yeah. Or it lands right in a bathtub where like a topless dinosaur is taking a bath with its hits out Okay, that's interesting
Starting point is 00:39:30 Entering like Dr. Dr. Burns Dinosaur dinosaurs are mammals so they shouldn't have It's real These are well, that's it's interesting that that dinosaurs evolved non-m non-milk producing features that look like human breasts. But only by converging to evolution. We're not sure if those are air sacs that allow them to make loud noises for mating purposes
Starting point is 00:39:56 or if there's a defense mechanism. Dinosaur breasts are still hard to understand because they don't fossilize well. It's all soft tissue. So they're the rare that you get them fossilized well, it's also off tissue. So it's made a rare that you get them fossilized. Yeah, well, a scientist who's like, I'd like to present my theory of dinosaurs. It's just like a slide that is pointing to at the conference. They all have big, like, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, I like to have a hypothetical situation in which I am having sex with these bosoms dinosaurs allow me to click to the next slide I might not be big and strong, but they like me because I'm a little bit good No, obviously this rendering is not And also and also you know what I attend to them. I'm not just about my pleasure
Starting point is 00:40:45 Yeah, exactly and he's clearly got a great imagination You know what? I attend to them. I'm not just about my pleasure. I'm attending to the Dino's pleasure. They're really good listeners. Yeah, exactly. And he's clearly got a great imagination. So, I mean, who is this guy? I don't know, he's amazing. And I'm putting the work in. That's the thing. I'm doing them. And it's working on himself a little bit. I'm not just fucking these dinosaurs.
Starting point is 00:40:57 I'm wooing them because Dino's brain is the largest of Roger Nesson. And their brains are surprisingly small for the size of their bodies, but it's still a a Roger Ness zone. They say the Dino Plitoris, which is hard to find even for me. A guy who considers himself a Dino feminist, you know. What street did we drive down? We took a wrong turn along the way.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Okay, while I was talking about this meanwhile, Koa manages to escape to the surface and she makes, she uses a discard. He's not afraid to go there, guys. Yeah, you're right. I guess that's true. No, no, no, no, no, we shouldn't be afraid of that. Yeah, a lot of great discoveries have been made. Yeah. So Koa makes a paste of poisonous berries and smears them all over a discarded dyno talent.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Maybe they'll come up later. And then outside of the caves, this is where we get the second real twist of the movie guys. Mills checks his scanner. And it reveals a previously mentioned anomaly. We, the asteroid that ends up wiping out the dinosaurs is on a collision course with Earth. They got to get off this fucking planet. We have a ticking time, we have a ticking clock now, folks. Let's get out of here. They didn't just land on Earth 65 million years ago. They landed the day before the dinosaurs were wiped out. That is bad luck. It's bad timing. Yeah. Although I guess it makes sense because that's why there's the asteroid field before. Yeah. I think
Starting point is 00:42:19 they would say that's why they crashed in the first places because the asteroids, but the fact that they were passing by Earth a couple days before the, the, the, uh, uh, superior, the life form that had rules the planet for over a hundred million years is about to be wiped out, leaving space for a little stinker known as humanity to evolve. Uh, it's just good. The only way I would have liked it more, and maybe they are implying this but not is if it was their crash that sent the asteroid towards the Earth and that they're like, it bounced off their spaceship towards the planet and they're like, we'll see. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:42:52 What a mix up. Yeah, but humanity's time to shine. So, Coa and Mills are reunited. I am glad of one thing. Okay. That I was worried that it was going to be like, oh no, the dinosaurs go extinct. Are they going to reveal that Adam Driver and Koa are the ancestors of all of humanity in some kind of like forced Adam and Eve situation?
Starting point is 00:43:13 I'm glad they didn't do that. Yeah. Spoiler alert, they don't do that, which is great. Not only would that really screw with the fossil record, but it would be, it's dumb. We've seen it before, you know, and glad, thank you for not doing that. I want to say though that if it was the movie you're talking about and they hit the asteroid into the earth, like I love how that flips the whole thing where the dinos have a legit gripe against Adam Driver, who has to attack him.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Entire species that he doomed them and is trying to just dip out. Sorry guys. He's mad. It is the ultimate hit and run. Universal hit and run. He's just going to leave a note that's like, sorry, I destroyed your planet for a little bit. It's quite a way isn't touching. Re name the movie Badger, I for now. Here's the better move. Here's the movie I want to see of that. They catch him. He gets taken to Dino Court and put on trial for war crimes. They sentenced him to 65 million years in jail. And then humanity evolves and Adam Driver emerges from his cryoprison.
Starting point is 00:44:17 65 million years later, that's why humanity has this warlike gene inside of us that causes us to fight our neighbors. It's because the guy who taught us all that destroyed the dinosaurs first. And he's gone insane from his time in cryo jail for 65 million years. You TM that shit, right? Okay, so.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Transcendental meditated, I will. So they reunite, Koea kills a couple of little baby dinos and saves some mills from some quicksand. They climb up the mountain, they find the crash, the escape vessel is intact and working. They have the coordinates to connect with the rescue vessel, but then Coa realizes, mills had lied to her about her family being alive and at the crash site. So he like talks about his daughter, some shit and everything. And by the way, that he talks about his daughter and I tweeted about this and this was the inspiration for the tweet. Yeah, you can go back and be like,
Starting point is 00:45:05 oh, now I know why. In movies where all the clues were there, Mr. Police. And movies where there's like a language barrier. I'm always annoyed at how at the moment that something really emotional important needs to be imparted seemingly that problem falls away. Like seemingly the message gets across. Well, that's the dance. There's one language we all speak. The language of the human heart. Esperanto.
Starting point is 00:45:30 And Esperanto, yeah, the universal language. I think it's a, I mean, she saw the footage of Adam Driver's daughter that he keeps on his little like hologram cards that look for the life of me, like the little lenticular viewer that used to come with secret words. Super hero action figures. Oh, cool, yeah, yeah. And you just caught those trading cards that had dinosaurs wearing clothes and shit.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Did you forget those? Yes, yes. What was the following you around the room? Exactly. Please tell them to stop. I'm not going to convert. I appreciate it. I'm not going to do anything.
Starting point is 00:46:01 I'm like, I'm just here. Yeah, yeah. Depending on the way you look, when you go back and forth, it looks like his eyes are rolling the whole time. Yeah, I'm just here. Yeah, yeah, when depending on the way when you go back and forth, it looks like his eyes are rolling the whole time. Yeah, I calm down, buddy. Yes, our cast. We're doing the best we can. We're not all God's son. Okay, and even you kind of fucked it up a little bit when you were doing that job. So the, that you can pop those little things into the video toaster like she does and see the hologram projections. So maybe she, she sees his emotions and kind of
Starting point is 00:46:25 guesses, oh, he must be talking about this girl. No, I know. It's just a thing that happens in movies that bothers me though, or it's just like, well, I guess everyone understands everyone now. But I have no idea what she thinks he's actually saying. She thinks he's going, I'm so hungry. Can we just go home? I need a sandwich. Yeah, it's like like when he bonks someone on the head with a coconut, you're like, you could have killed him. That's what jet apt out text of me. He's like, you could kill someone if you hit them in the head with a coconut. It's also a crime. It's something that that bothers me. And it shows you, it's true. And it shows you the power of storytelling is that if the story was told well and it was
Starting point is 00:47:00 more interesting, you wouldn't notice the same way that we mentioned play of the apes earlier. Charles Heston must be the biggest moron in the world to not or tailor his character, to not notice he's on earth when every ape speaks perfect English to him. And it never occurs to him that, oh yeah, these aliens on this other planet were apes evolved, they also evolved to English,
Starting point is 00:47:17 the same language I speak, like that should take them off. But the movie's so good. Every single dialectic nuance. It's exactly the same. Yeah, these the same slang, like, but the movie just like is so well told that you have to watch it a couple times for that even really bothers you to a certain extent. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:35 Whereas this, that stuff, it's a fucking crap. Guys, we are in the home fucking stretch. Yeah, okay. So they strap in, their shuttle gets hit by a chunk of asteroid, so they slide down a mountain. Uh oh. They they slide down a mountain. Uh oh, they're upside down. Yeah. They're upside down. And unfortunately, they also slide right into the path of an angry T-rex. Wait a minute. Two T-rexes. There's two T-rexes. Adam drivers
Starting point is 00:47:55 like. I'm a star blast. Yeah. Turns out he stands for twin twin rexes is a his little blasters on a ammo. So he has to lead him on little chases. And the two guys are like, you did this. This is all of Paul's. This is all because of you. They trap him under a piece of wreckage and things are looking for a wreckage. So, uh, Koa uses the little hologram player and plays a little hologram of his daughter to kind of lift his spirits and also to distract those dinos. Cause one of them tries to bite the his daughter, hologram, and he's like, fuck this, and his gun suddenly starts to work. And he fucking blasts one in the dome and kills it immediately.
Starting point is 00:48:31 It is funny. Perfect shot. It, we're familiar from movies when a character sees a loved one threatened and gets berserker strength, but the idea that their gun was also like, we got to protect that girl. You don't understand future guns, Elliot, maybe they're powered by rage. And it's not the future steward, it's 65 million years ago, understand future guns, Elliot. Maybe they're powered by rage. And it's not the future steward. It's 65 million years ago. These are past guns, but maybe they're powered by rage.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Yeah. Okay. So he then the other T. Rex is mad about this whole thing. So it goes and attacks the shuttle, putting it in the perfect position to launch. Thank you. Thank you. And then out of driver blasted a whole bunch and it collapsed and we're like, oh man, the nightmare's over.
Starting point is 00:49:04 No, no, no, no. We need to think that T-Rex for saving you by blasting it to death. Come on, Adam, driver. And no, no, no, nightmare's not over because a third T-Rex shows up and you know, which one of this, that's right. It's the sassy one that already has gotten shot in the face and does not like him. So he tries to lead it away so that the whole of can escape that T-Rex shows up. Hey, buddies, I'm ready to join you for our picnic and look at them.
Starting point is 00:49:27 They're dead. Who did this? And he sees Adam Driver goes, so it's you, you asshole, you're back. And Adam Driver goes, feet, don't fail me now. So he goes running away, dyno, chases him. And Adam Driver's like, haha, remember that guys are from earlier. You're about to get a face full. Unfortunately, this T-Rex is way too smart for him and stop short before getting its face roasted off. And it looks like it's
Starting point is 00:49:48 curtains for males. Unfortunately for the dyno, coa runs up and stabs it right in the eyeball, perfect shot, no scope, right in the eyeball. And it starts thrashing around right in the path of a geyser and gets its face melted off. Gross. Yeah. They get on the shelf and fly away. What? There was this. Maybe you guys are familiar with the dinosaur attacks trading card series, which was an 80s kind of simple to Mars attacks where they were like, let's do the same thing with dinosaurs.
Starting point is 00:50:18 It's super freaked me out when I was a kid. It's so over the top gory. And there's one where the dinosaurs are being sucked back in time and their skin is being pulled off of them. Oh, you're more. This reminded me of, yeah. Nice.
Starting point is 00:50:29 That's pretty cool. So, yeah, his face gets over it. That's you by the way, and with the scientists who save the world going to hell for some reason, which is ruled by a satanic dinosaur. It doesn't really make any sense. It's a trading card series. Oh, man, I wonder what pleasurable delights, Satan, dinosaur, can offer me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:44 Pinsaurus is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, pinsores is down there. Yeah. So, yeah, so they get back on the shuttle and they fly away and they fly close enough to that asteroid to fucking wave at is they fly. They go, they go ace those suckers. Let's get out of here. So they're up in the sky and then the credits roll over a footage of a scorched earth, which is followed by an ice age,
Starting point is 00:51:06 followed by regrowth and civilization. And then presumably, John Hammond getting the idea for a sick ass theme park. Yeah, I, when we saw the movie end with this sort of like the earth, you know, changing in new species, like building, you know, humans, building. Yeah, humans. Let's not, let's, there's, humans. Yeah, humans. Let's not let's, there's no surprise. It's er, you know, like, we see that happening.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Um, I really wanted it to end with, like, some human finding the remains of the animal wraparans and being like, what the hell is this? Like that, like that great Star Wars legend stories story comic where Indiana Jones finds the Millennium Falcon crashed in South America and Han Solo's skeleton is inside of it. And he's like, you don't know your meeting yourself, Indy. But anyway, that's pretty cool. So wait, so did they take Han Solo after he died and put him in the Millennium Falcon and like send him out?
Starting point is 00:52:04 This is no longer canon. This was written before the newer movies. So at this point, uh, but I, I bet I could still work. Yeah. So like a Viking funeral, they stuck his body back in the Millennium Falcon and then set it on fire and say, oh, you know, you never get this. I mean, in a way way that would be very funny. And as we know, there is fire in Star Wars space.
Starting point is 00:52:28 We see a Star Destroyer on fire in Return of the Jedi, right? So they could do, they could give them a Viking funeral. I think there's that stormtrooper who just lit a cigarette while I was saying that side and that are space. Okay. And in the story, I believe in D is investigating a Yeti type creature. And that turns out to be Chubacos. It's just been living in the jungles there. If I'm remembering the story, I believe in D is investigating a yeti type creature and that turns out to be Chubacos, just been living in the jungles there. If I'm remembering the story correctly.
Starting point is 00:52:49 No, that sounds pretty cool. So do you want to go talk about that whole story or? I'm sure, anyway, so exterior jungle. No, we're scripting it out. Yeah. So what do we do now, Dan? This is when we do final judgments. Cool.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Where they talk about this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie we kind of like. Why you guys go first this time? What do you think? Okay, it feels like I'm about to step on a Dan, landmine or a Danmine. So I would say I wish that this movie had gone a little bit more in either direction. I wish it was a little bit either grittier or ideally a little like crazier and pulpy. It feels kind of joyless and I understand the motivation and I understand the idea of a serious portrayal of this, but I kind of wish that there'd been maybe a voiceover or a narration or some kind of wish that there'd been maybe like a voiceover or a narration or
Starting point is 00:53:45 some kind of like humor to it. I don't know, like I feel like he could have been, I mean, it's because it's a movie about a Space Man class in Dynos. Like I would like it to be a, I ideally would like it to be a little more fun. I would, I think I'm going to jump on you about with that, or jump on your idea. I'm not going to jump on you. That would be disrespectful. It would be like, it would be like,
Starting point is 00:54:07 it would be like, from Raiders of Law, Stark just being on you. Or we, eventually, if I jump on you eventually, it basically turned into master blaster at that point. Daddy, it could technically be hopping on pop. Yep, that's true. Yeah, I mean, it would be, it would be not hop on pop so much as pop on hop.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Or hop hop on, I guess. Anyway, you guys, you would be it would be not hop on pop so much as pop on hop or hop hop on, I guess. Anyway, you guys, you ready for that prequel? The announced that tells the story about pop from hop on pop before you became a pop. What was it like? What was it like? Now, when he, when he can't stop pop. You know, once you pop, you can't stop.
Starting point is 00:54:38 That's the thing. So, well, I'm going to join Stewart. I'm going to, I'm going to write a concurring opinion to Stewart's opinion in the case of Flapphouse V65, where I wish the movie had been more fun or I wish the movie had been more intense. I wish it had been more thrilling. I just wish the movie had been more on an emotional level in terms of the story. I wish that the movie had, it feels like this is the most, it feels basic. It feels like the most norm core basic bitch way to tell the story. And I wish they had just taken some more chances,
Starting point is 00:55:08 either by making it more extreme or more fun or anything like that, you know. Yep. I am going to write the dissent for this, but I'm going to be clear. It is not a scathing dissent. It is a mild dissent. I kind of like it, but only sort of on the sliding flop house scale of movies that are so much more poorly made or ill-conceived. I will define what I like about this movie, mostly in opposition to things I don't like about a lot of modern blockbusters. Like I appreciate that in contrast to a lot of modern blockbusters, this felt very sort of confined for a fantastic story. It was human scaled.
Starting point is 00:55:56 I understood the emotions and the wants of everyone. You know, like I said, a lot of it took place in real locations that got juiced by special effects rather than just sort of a layer of digital sludge over everything. Rob Robb, do you style make it in your basement all on green screen? Yeah, and you know, I like that they got. Yeah, it doesn't take place in the quantum realm. A pair of good performers, Adam Driver, obviously very good.
Starting point is 00:56:25 I also really thought that the young actress who played the, Koehla, was it? Are you on a green blad? That's her name. She played Young Gamora in Infinity War. So she's actually been around in big movies for a while now. She specializes in young characters. Yeah. That's for how long, only time will tell. Probably not that much.
Starting point is 00:56:46 The way Holly will treat actresses your right, Dan. In a couple years she'll be playing moms and then it'll be 80 for Brady for her. Yeah, but you know, it's. These, these people who made this movie, the writing directing team were the writers with John Krasinski on a quiet place. That was their sort of like breakthrough into bigger movies before that. So they made bad movies before. Yeah, I'm not wild about a quiet place, but I think it's a skill for you. And Harry in turn is wild about you.
Starting point is 00:57:21 I don't love it. It is a skillfully made kind of starter level horror movie. I say with probably an annoying kind of ascension, but I like that they, it seems like they came up in smaller horror movies and I feel like they still have that sort of instinct of like, let's keep it tight. But that'll say it is a little more boring and basic than it should be. And, you know, for a 90 minute movie, I shouldn't get as sleepy watching it as I do. But I did appreciate that it had qualities. Well, yeah. I don't think this is a quality free movie.
Starting point is 00:57:59 Yeah. No, but I think it is, it is a, it's, it's not the highest recommendation when most of what you liked about it is in opposition to things that you don't want to talk about other movies. Yeah. That's why I said, my, my, dissent. Yeah, I mean, this is a, I don't think it's a, I think this is a, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go back to a, a, a frequent flop house rating and say, if you're sick and this starts playing on TV in the afternoon, go ahead and watch it. You know, why not? But it's not, you're not going to remember much about it afterwards. And not just because you're sick. Yeah, I mean, I guess I guess it would fall into if we're using our categories,
Starting point is 00:58:32 it would be like the mildest of bad bads for me. Yeah, I think it doesn't rise the level of bad bad for me. It's like, it doesn't fit quite into our criteria because it's, but again, that's, it's a, to me, that's a mark against it, is that like, it just doesn't generate enough feeling in me to even want to give it that rating, you know. It just kind of is. And you know what? Maybe we should all just try to be, you know? Yeah, live in the moment. Yeah. 65 million years ago. You know how you can live in the moment and generate feeling, microdosing. Our show this day is sponsored by
Starting point is 00:59:05 microdose gamis, microdose gamis deliver. Microdose gamis are not worth liver. I want to make it very clear. You're being so masterful. I was so impressed and then you tripped up over that one word. But thank you for making clear that microdose gamis are not made out of liver.
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Starting point is 01:01:49 but you have to use R code flop for 50% off your first order. One last time, that's right. That's promo code flop for 50% off your first order, plus free shipping. Is there anything else anyone wants to plug before we move on? See, the thing is the WGA's on strike right now. And Elliot has something you would like to say about it. That's very true. The WGA is on strike for a number of different specific reasons. The WGA of course is the leader's guild of America. If I was, if I was a fool, okay, can
Starting point is 01:02:20 you give me a quick summary of those? Sure. The writer's guild of America, the union that Dan and I both belong to as members, me as a very active member, Dan has more of a, you know, give along, go along kind of, get a long kind of guy. He'll take out his badge every now and then. We are on strike right now for a few different reasons. One is, and they all come down to basically different ways that the studios that employ us, that buy our product, that distribute our product, different ways that they are trying to either minimize the amount of writers that they can pay, minimize the amount of money they
Starting point is 01:02:56 can pay those writers, and also try to eliminate the writers entirely. Here are the main things that we're trying to go after. One is something called mini-rooms, where an entire television season is broken and basically written by a small group of writers who then are often not involved in the production of the show are paid very little for that amount of time. It's a short time period. And are the often don't get the kinds of residual payments that they deserve for the work on that series. What are residual payments? It should be that every time someone who owns a product that we have created gets money from it, that we should also get a little bit of that money. It's what sustains us between jobs, it's what makes writing an actual career that you can live off of and not a series of gigs that you're lucky to get every now and then and you have to take
Starting point is 01:03:40 vacation days off of your day job to do them. And if the bosses are making money off of your work, you should be benefiting from your work. Exactly, because the bosses didn't create our work, we created that work. They are merely exploiting our abilities, our labor, our imaginations. And it's almost like the bosses need you more than you need the bosses.
Starting point is 01:03:59 Thank you, Stuart. That's a very good point. Unfortunately, the new streaming world that we exist in has taken those residual amounts, which I a very good point. Unfortunately, the new streaming world that we exist in has taken those residual amounts, which I'll be very honest, residuals are often what get me from, from, you know, month to month, or sometimes year to year, when, when work is not there. I've been receiving residuals recently from SAG After a little bit of voiceover work I did in House Broken in the first season, and it has really helped to patch up the holes in my finances right now, which I really appreciate.
Starting point is 01:04:28 They are necessary. And it is not a matter of getting paid more than once for the same work. It's a matter of, as Stuart said, when our bosses make money off our work, we should make money off our work. Unfortunately, in the streaming world, those residuals have sunk to next to nothing. In some cases nothing, and they are not transparent about how much money they're making off of our work, or how many people watch it even. And so it's hard to know what we're owed.
Starting point is 01:04:54 And so that's the second big thing. The third big thing, and these are just the television writers on strike for, feature film writers are on strike also, and they have a slightly different set of issues, but related. They're all related to companies trying to weasel out of paying us what we're owed and what we deserve. The third thing, artificial intelligence, it's coming for everybody. It's coming for everyone's job, basically.
Starting point is 01:05:14 And there is a vision that studio executives have of a world where computers write scripts and maybe they hire a person to do a little bit of tweaking on it to make it not feel like a computer wrote it. That's a world that we are trying to eliminate. The fact is, the machines are rising right now. And we've got to do what we can to make sure that creative work is done by humans. We are entering possibly a kind of brave dystopian world where, not a brave, a cowardly dystopian world in which mainstream culture is just a matter of things being regurgitated
Starting point is 01:05:44 based on computer algorithms, based on things that have already been made. And the fact is you cannot make a thing without human imagination being involved at this point in history. You certainly can't get a new thing. You can only get variations on something you've already had before. If someone showed, there's this video that's been going around where it's like the Lord of the Rings and the style of Wes Anderson, and it's like, the person who used, I'm sure, multiple AI programs to make it, to put it together did a very good job. It looks really good and it's, you know, it's a funny idea.
Starting point is 01:06:14 That is a book written by a person put in the visual style of a director who's a person, then cast with the images of actors who are only famous or beloved to us because they are people because they have to us because they are people, because they have given us imaginative performances. It is an idea for that mashup that was come up with by a person, and the person had to use the program to make it. So even something like that, which is eventually a fan work that uses AI still relies on so much of the work of human beings and cannot be done telecomputers. So why are we striking? It is at a basic point to maintain the position of human beings in our creative culture
Starting point is 01:06:49 and to maintain that creative work as work that people can afford to do for a living. And so, you're like, yeah, you've made such a great case. This is amazing. I wasn't on board before. Before I was a big fan of David Zazloff. I was like, why are they doing him at Boston University? He's a great guy.
Starting point is 01:07:03 I want- Yeah, changing it to Max as a good idea. I want HBO to be devalued from a place that special TV shows and movies get made into just another place that can watch the people who do what house flipping and stuff like that, where they flip more houses. Anyway, which is not to say anything wrong against our fellow workers in the reality TV or unscripted nonfiction television production area. They were also writers and they deserve to be covered in the guild.
Starting point is 01:07:30 But that is to say, what can you do? Well, a lot of people want to come on the pick of line and strike with us. That's great. And you're welcome to do so. But what might be even more helpful at this point is if you could go to entertainmentcommunity.org and donate to the entertainment community fund. It used to be called the Actors Fund. Now it's the entertainment community fund. That's at entertainmentcommunity.org. Donate and choose to donate to a designated gift for supporting film and television professionals. That money will go not just to anyone in the entertainment community who will need money right now.
Starting point is 01:08:01 And that's not just writers. That's also support staff. That's technical crew. That's everybody whose work is suffering because the AMPTP, the American motion picture and television producers or whatever it's called the Association of Merit and Emeritus. Anyway, the AMPTP, because they will not pay writers what they deserve and they will not give us the respect and credit for having built the business that they now make a lot of money off of. They could they could end this tomorrow, but they aren't. And so if you can go to that place and help the people who will be suffering as a result,
Starting point is 01:08:31 again, not just writers, but writers' assistance, script supervisors, people on crew, actors, anyone in the entertainment community, this will help. They can reach out to that fund for help, should they need it to get through this strike period. And as you've brought this up, I just want to mention a message from Leslie and Colorado who said, I just donated to the entertainment community fund and almost forgot that my company matches charitable donations one to one. Luckily, I did remember before donating, so I doubled the donation with their portion,
Starting point is 01:09:00 thought I'd bring it up in case other people have companies that do the same, More money from the man to help stick it to the man. So, uh, that's great. That's great. Thank you very much. What was her name again? Leslie. Thank you, Leslie, or his Leslie, I don't know what you're, or there or there. I don't know your gender is, but I'm saying thank you. Why are you getting mad at me when I'm saying thank you? Oh, Leslie, let's patch this up. We'll talk about it off, off
Starting point is 01:09:23 Mike. Ali, I think you're projecting. Please take a, yeah, because I'm in the movies. It's. Thank you. Oh, Leslie, let's catch this up. We'll talk about off mic. I think you're projecting. Please take a, yeah, because I'm in the movies. It's a movie projector. Please take a note from Leslie. And if you want to support, if you want to show your support, if you want to contribute, this is a good way to do it. Doesn't have to be a lot of money. Any amount is helpful. That's money that people in the entertainment entertainment industry who will most likely have trouble paying their bills during this time can turn to. So thank you very much for doing so.
Starting point is 01:09:48 And thank you so much for, I feel like this, what's different between, one of the things that's different between this and the last time the writer's guild was on strike, is that the public at large feels like it's on our side, the other unions are on our side, which is enormous, but it feels like everyone I know like gets it to a certain extent and supports us. And we really appreciate it. We really appreciate that the public understands this is a battle
Starting point is 01:10:10 between workers and bosses. And the bosses can afford to take care of the workers and they're refusing to. And people are taking the side of the workers, which is us. And I feel like everyone in every industry is going to have to start making these types of stands. And so, to have your support now means a lot to us. and you can count on our support later on when you have to do the same. You probably already have a favorite animal. Maybe it's a powerful apex predator like the tiger or a cute and cuddly panda. And those are great, but have you considered something a little more unconventional? Could I perhaps interest you in the Greenland shark,
Starting point is 01:10:49 which can live for nearly 400 years? Or maybe the jewel wasp who performs brain surgery on cockroaches to control their minds? On just the zoo of us, we review animals by giving them ratings out of 10 in the categories of effectiveness, ingenuity, and aesthetics. Listen with friends and family of all ages to find your new favorite animal with just the two of us
Starting point is 01:11:09 on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. I'm Jordan Purshiel, the host of Feeling See, where we talk about the movie characters that make us feel see. And I'm the shows producer, Urissa. Jordan, you've interviewed so many directors, actors, writers, film critics, and I like to play this little game where I take a sip of coffee. Every time someone says, that's such a great question. That's such a fabulous question, or they tell you how smart you are.
Starting point is 01:11:38 I think that you are rather brilliant. And of course, the big one is when they cry unexpectedly. When they cry unexpectedly, yes, yeah. Jordan, I don't want to cry in your podcast. I wish it expecting to cry. I mean, it makes me kind of want to cry. Ah. Feeling seen comes out every Thursday on MaximumFund.org.
Starting point is 01:11:53 Listen already. What are you waiting for? Jordan, that's such a great question. Let's move on to letters from listeners. This letter begins Thusley and then continues, as I will say. Oh, thank you for being so comprehensive. I appreciate that.
Starting point is 01:12:14 Yes. Victor E. Bull here, while listening to the delightful Numenia mini, I was delighted to hear my brother in Buffalo College of mascots, PD the Griffin of Kinesha College mentioned. This name drop was exciting both as a mascot and as a proud Buffalo Nian. I have one question for you all if you could be any mascot real or fictional. Who would you choose to be? Thanks for many years and hours of wonderful programming, Victor E. Bull, really David last name with help.
Starting point is 01:12:49 So, you know, I, look, I'm going to say, like everyone's got gritty fever. I can't say that I could be gritty. Gritty has a certain crazed party energy. You could never pull it off, no. But his cousin, the Philly Phenatic, I think, has a whimsical goofy quality that I enjoy and I'm drawn to. I think that would be my choice. Now the idea that they're cousins, I now I'm just imagining the Philly Phenatic being
Starting point is 01:13:21 woken up in the middle of the night and gritty asking him to help him hide a gun Just hold on to this hold on to this room Put it in your nose They can't look in there without a warrant Oh, man, uh, Fudgey the whale is really cool That's a mascot For a for it ice cream company Green gin as those big-ass thighs. I like that. So, mascot for it, ice cream company. Green, green, gin as those big ass thighs, I like that. So, I didn't know we could do corporate mascots.
Starting point is 01:13:48 Yeah, but we could do corporate mascots. I think it's a sports mascot. I do like mostly because Thorall Ravenscroft voices, I like Tony the Tiger, he seems enthusiastic. And he gets to actually enjoy the product rather than having it, you know, cruelly taken from him, like the tricks rabbit or, yeah, or lucky or I've always assumed also that I always assumed that Tony the tiger was gay too. So that's an LGBTQ icon right there that you're. Yeah, I think it's the mascot that you're pointing to. And there's a lot. I feel like there's a certain there's a certain.
Starting point is 01:14:19 I was going to say the fucking cookie criss-copper some shit. No, man, no, wait, no, I want distribution of those cookie crisps to all, you know? I mean, with that dog and everything, no thank you. I was gonna say, when I was thinking of sports mascots, I was thinking, so there's a Twilight Zone episode about a robot that plays baseball. And there's a team called the Hoboken Zephyrs. And I always really loved that name. And I imagine their mascot was like some kind of personification of the wind and so I was I was going to say that.
Starting point is 01:14:49 But if it can be a corporate mascot, they can I do that little chuck wagon from the chuck wagon dog food. I like the room. Oh, you know, I'd like to feed the little choy dragon. Oh, cool. Yeah. Can I be the Pringles guy? Just the guy on the Pringles.
Starting point is 01:15:04 Yeah. Yeah. That's a fun one.les guy? Just the guy on the Pringles channel. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fun one. He's nasty. He is nasty. Yeah, look at him. He's also just a hardworking immigrant, I assume. This is also from a David or a Dave in this case. These are the Dave's I know.
Starting point is 01:15:18 Sing the song. Yeah. Beats are the Dave's I know. This is from Dave last name with held Who writes, Dear Flappers. I recently had a dream where I was hanging out with Dan and Stu. My brain must have admitted to Elliot because he lives in LA, although it seemed okay with the fact that I'm in North Carolina. But anyway, he's got also present was Cameron Diaz. It was obvious Miss Diaz was an old friend of theirs because she was in
Starting point is 01:15:45 LA too. I think so. So this hold on a second. I feel like she's probably by coastal. Yeah. It was obvious Ms. Diaz was an old friend of theirs because she was about to tell an embarrassing story. One were Dan and Sue were doing the whole, oh no, don't you dare tell this thing while smiling because they know it's hilarious. Yeah. Unfortunately, just before the story was told, my cat jumped on my bed to wake me up because it was 8.10 and way past 8 a.m. a kibble time. My question is, what are the things in art that you're most disappointed in not being able to consume? Whether it's a show being unexpectedly canceled, a screenplay that never got filmed, music collaboration that was rumored, but didn't happen, etc. Thanks for all the laughs over the years, Dave last
Starting point is 01:16:31 name withheld. That's a good amount. I'm sure I'll think of more as we talk, but the one that first sprung to mind was something that has been mentioned on this show before, and I agree with Elliot that it probably wouldn't actually have been that great. But the Billy Wilder, Mark's Brothers movie, the day at the United Nations, sounds so tantalizing to me.
Starting point is 01:16:57 I can't even imagine what it would be. And of course, I just want another Mark's Brothers movie in the world. So that's one that springs to mind. That's one that definitely came to my mind too, but I discarded it for that reason is that I think there's comedy styles. I don't think would have meshed particularly well. And the only joke that Billy Wilder, as far as I know, ever like said that he was thinking
Starting point is 01:17:16 up for an interview, in an interview time out, was that like the Marks Brothers mix up the signs in for all the countries. So like the Egyptian and delegate has says Israel in front of him. And like these really delicate has, you know, another has an Arab country in front. And I'm like, well, that's not that funny, Joe. That's not really that's not very, very good. Um, bad rank. Uh, but there I have a, I would say there is a movie that I, that they started shooting and never finished that I've want that I wish they had finished, which was Joseph von Sternberg was directing
Starting point is 01:17:46 an adaptation of I Claudius, starring Charles Lawton as Claudius. And there's very little footage that exists of it. And apparently Lawton was having a very hard time with his performance, and he and Sternberg didn't work well together. But I think it would have been so interesting to see how they would handle that story,
Starting point is 01:18:02 which is such a like, sadistic sexual element in it in a 1930s movie. And to see it in Joseph von Sternberg's style, which like, if there's any movie that would have given me hope for it, is it's his movie, The Scarlet Empress, which is such a like beautifully like Baroque strange movie for a Hollywood studio to make. But there's only a little bit of footage. It doesn't, the rest of it doesn't exist.
Starting point is 01:18:22 But I had some other things on my two, too, which is one, any of Franz Kafka's books, he didn't finish any of them. And the castle literally finishes mid, it ends mid sentence. So you don't even know where the scene is going. And I would have loved to have known where he was going to go with these things. And on the same level, back in the 90s, Marvel had this insert that was in a bunch of their comics where they were hyping new projects they had coming up. And one was a Soron prestige format series. And I was like, as a young person, I always love the character Soaron.
Starting point is 01:18:49 He's a big tarantidon man. And I was like, wait a minute. What possible story would justify a prestige format series? Prestige format for non-comic book readers would mean, instead of being stapled in the back, it would be like perfect bound. It would probably be on better cover and and cart end paper stock and like cost a little more. And it's like, what possible story about Soron would justify this.
Starting point is 01:19:12 But as far as I know, I've never heard any detail about what that might have been. And I wonder if it was literally just them being like, we got to fill out this insert with other things that we might have someday. So make something up. But I've always wondered what that was. Stuart? Yeah, I mean, I think, I mean, there's been so many TV shows that have been canceled that I liked.
Starting point is 01:19:33 But I feel like the project that I would be the most excited about, even though I have no idea if it would be any good is the Gear Metal Toro mountains of madness, movie project that he wanted to do. I have no idea how far they even got. I mean, there's a branch Tom Cruise was attached to it, but there's some test footage. You see the test footage, but I didn't see some of the the the Maccats of the like the giant penguins that they made for it. They looked really cool.
Starting point is 01:20:09 I love giant penguins. I love giant penguins. Sure. Yeah, and if you want giant penguins, that's the story for you. There's only really pretty much just two stories for you that and with the narrative of Arthur Gordon-Pam, that's about it. I think that there's a number of things and there's a lot of like lost films as well, many, you know, huge vast swath of silent films.
Starting point is 01:20:30 Especially with the current streaming situation. No, that's for, there's deliberately unavailable films too. And there's like, but there's, there's stuff that like the March Brothers made a silent movie that was never released at all. It was only screened, I think once or twice, and they hated it so much, that it was called humor, and the story they always told was they hated it so much that they
Starting point is 01:20:49 just destroyed it, but I always wonder if it survived somewhere. But here's what I'm going to say. All of this talk about projects that didn't get made or that didn't get finished should be taken with a grain of salt, because sometimes that project doesn't happen, because it doesn't really have the strength to stay alive. And you look at something like the other side of the wind, which for years it was like, we'll never see you or some wells this final lost masterpiece.
Starting point is 01:21:12 And then they tried to patch it together. And admittedly, it's a monster of a thing. It's like sewn together at a bits. But I was like, I can't wait to see this. And I finally started watching it. I couldn't get through like more than a few minutes of it. It was so like, and from everything that I've learned or heard about that movie, I don't think it was going to be that much better in some ways.
Starting point is 01:21:31 And ironically, the part of it that ages the best is the part where he's like parodying artsy European movies. And he has those like, the two characters just kind of wandering silently around a city. And it's like, oh, this looks really cool. But that's not what he was making. So I think sometimes these movies are better off living in our imagination. So you know, in that in that Sandman library of all the books that were never written, you know, and things like that.
Starting point is 01:21:53 Well, let us move on to the last segment, which is to recommend movies that probably would be a better use of your time than 65. I recommend a movie. I saw a little law back. It has been divisive, but I, I think I really enjoyed it. You know, I can see why it's not for everyone. It is called. Maybe stay out. It's called martyrs. Both afraid. The, uh, what makes between those two, the most recent Ariaster movie, a very, a very black comedy about a man who is living in a world where seemingly every anxiety he could possibly have turns out to be true, not in a way like, not in like a fantastical, like literal, like,
Starting point is 01:22:42 I'm having an anxiety isn't there coming true way true? But like that is the way to understand like evil tunes. It has the same sort of mother exclamation point stress dream logic. But more of a sort of deadpan comedy than mother is like Sinectokini, New York. Yeah, I would say it has a certain quality of that. Yeah, I can look, I can see why people don't necessarily want to watch a movie that's three hours of sort of grueling anxiety, but with jokes. He's asked me at three hours. And particularly a movie that- If I'm going to watch a three hour movie. It better be Red Beard starring Tisha Muthuni. Thank you very much. And I'm particularly a movie
Starting point is 01:23:29 that like I understand at this point, some people's thirst for a movie about a white man to angst is not what they it's not the way that they have a lot of I get it. But as an angsty white man who has a lot of anxieties, I found it cathartic to watch and funny. And yeah, I would like, I would say that the last third of it is actually kind of the weakest part, which is a problem, you know, you want to walk out of a movie on a high, but there's a lot of great stuff in it. That's what those microdose gummies come in. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:07 If I was going to watch a three hour movie, I would watch what I'm assuming is the TV edit of killers of the flower mood. Yeah, I'm going to recommend a movie that friend of the flop has Jamel Bowie described as a min in meetings movie. I'm going to recommend air a movie about a shoe. It's very like it was a little hard for me to get on board with a movie about a company succeeding, but they manage. It's, but at least it's a company that stands for great values and treats its workers well, right? But they'd manage to do a pretty interesting job of showing how the Michael Jordan, Air
Starting point is 01:24:50 Jordan deal paved the way for athletes getting more of a cut of products that they are endorsing, which is really cool. Specifically, the whole like college athletes thing, which is still fucking insane to me that these fucking pieces of shit are taking advantage of college athletes. But yeah, it's, it's a lot of fun performers, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, all these guys, Violet Davis gives some, you know, she puts in the work, she's incredible. Yeah, it's, it's a lot of fun. And the having just seen, Guardians of the Galaxy and been a little bit like, oh's, it's a lot of fun. And the having just seen, guardians of the galaxy and been a little bit like, oh man, these, these needle drops are a little
Starting point is 01:25:30 on the nose. I felt that the needle drops in air are both kind of more on the nose, but I like that more. So I don't know. I'm a jerk. Who knows? You're inconsistent. Look, you contain, you contain multitudes. Yeah, that's me. So yeah, check out air. Why not? I'm going to recommend also a movie, I guess, about a, that, that feels a little weird in today's climate, but I'll explain why. But I enjoyed a lot. And that's a movie called Park Row, which is a Samuel Fuller movie from 1952, Strain Gene Evans, which is about the founding of a newspaper in the 1880s in New York, and this upstart newspaper that has to fight against the established newspapers.
Starting point is 01:26:11 And it is super energetic, it's really fun. It's a little weird in that the, it's in some ways about a man who just can't do what he wants because this rich woman keeps trying to destroy him. But at the same time, the kind of newspaper that he dreams of bringing into creation and that the movie is celebrating is like a newspaper that sets up stunts and then reports on them. So it's not like, he's not like, I mean, the most positive thing that they do is they is the campaign to raise money for a pedestal for the Statue of Liberty. But other than that, he's like, yeah, yeah, let's start a fight over there
Starting point is 01:26:47 and then we'll report on the fight. So it's not like, it's holding them to the highest journalist standards. But I'm a big fan of movies where a group of people are getting together to accomplish something. And this is all about that. The period aspect of it is really fun.
Starting point is 01:27:04 It's set in the 1880s, but it's not stodgy at all. Like the characters are super alive, you know? And- So it's set in the 80s, so it's got a lot of, like a lot of piano key neck ties and stuff. Yeah, I know in the 1880s. Oh. So yeah, yeah, 1880s.
Starting point is 01:27:19 So there's a lot of needle drops, but the needle drops are like a dream of Jeannie instead of with the bright red, with the soft brown hair and things like that, you know, a guy's playing guys playing music on what like kitchen gets an instrument. I'm just wild about Harry. Yeah, exactly. And now Harry's also reciprocally wild. And by the by the reflexive property Harry is also wild about me.
Starting point is 01:27:43 The and it's just super fun. It's the same double-edged movie, so it's like got a lot of brush energy and a lot in your face and this and I really enjoyed a lot. So that's Park Row. We did it guys. We did it. We traveled 65 million years into the past. Stewart.
Starting point is 01:27:58 And back again. That's exactly what I was going to say. It's amazing. It's like a fucking simpad. I like it. We've been doing this too long. But if you enjoy it, thank you for listening. Thank you for supporting us. Hey, if you're so inclined, why not give us a nice
Starting point is 01:28:16 a nice review on iTunes. I say this because I subscribe to a service that gives us our rankings on iTunes, but also rounds up the reviews. So unfortunately, now I'm back to seeing reviews. And we've had a few reviews, I would say, were mad at us not for this show, but for political reasons. If you want to counteract bad trolls out, bad trolls out there, you know, why don't you drop that nice review? As opposed to the good trolls who believe only in love and their long, shiny hair and introducing my children to the song, Barakuda, which I appreciate except because I love that song,
Starting point is 01:28:56 but I don't like that my younger son now first says, I like that song, Barakuda. It's from Trolls World Tour. And I go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not from Trolls World Tour. So if you want to support good trolls and counteract bad trolls, maybe leave us a good And I go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, culture podcast and thank you to Alex Smith, our producer. You can find him as Howell Dottie on Twitter. Someone pointed out that the fact that I said that Howell is not spelled, is not spelled like Howell is in Howell's movie castle was confusing because in the book Howell's real name is Howell. Oh, let's just say that it is spelled whole well. Donnie just spell it. Just say the letters H O W L L. Well, I enjoy why are we dancing around architecture here? Let's just spell the name. Take me on a trip, Dan. Yeah, yeah, I'm driving
Starting point is 01:30:00 us around the neighborhood. They've heard of a shaggy Dog spelling before. I had to put you to sleep because you've been fussy all day, Stu. I get fucking fussy. He does get fussy, yeah. But thank you for listening. For the flat pass, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stewart Wellington. I've been Elliot Kaelin. Thank you for support of us, end of the writer's strike, and all things good in the world,
Starting point is 01:30:21 of which those are two. Well, the strike's not, you know, it's not good but the got that what we're talking about is good. Fucking go taking a start ride. Anyway, this is my shaggy dog goodbye. Bye, bye. Oh. Ah.
Starting point is 01:30:35 Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.
Starting point is 01:30:43 Ah. Ah. Ah. You can do this. Wait, wait, wait for them. You've done it almost more than time. Yeah, no, I was gonna do this. Wait, wait, wait for them. You've done it almost one more time. Yeah, no, I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks.
Starting point is 01:30:53 I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks.
Starting point is 01:31:01 I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. I was done with my snacks. It took them, I laughed at the first part and then I laughed when I realized there was an actual tune being... Okay. supported.

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