The Flop House - Ep. #440 - Borderlands

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, Floppers. Before we start this episode, I just wanted to remind you we are in the middle of FlopTV Season 2. That's right, the one-hour internet televised Flophouse TV show is here for you the first Saturday of every month through February. Just go to theflophouse.simpleTix.com and get your tickets or season pass for this all-new Flophouse TV stuff. For covering movies we've never covered before, we've got video segments, it's amazing. Just go to theflophouse.simpleTix.com for Flop TV Season 2. This time, it's personal. On this episode, we discuss Borderlands. Borderlands, think that I'm going to lose my hands. You just keep on pushing movies over the borderlands.

Starting point is 00:00:48 Borderlands. Is that what the movie's about? I was so close to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliott Cale, and I still have a little bit bit of a cold so I may be coughing my way through the episode But don't worry That's all right. Elliott. Hey Elliott. It's that time of year. It's that time of year guys. We all got cold

Starting point is 00:01:32 Yeah, plus there were like whole years of the podcast was I when I was sick. So, you know, uh-huh Your turn. All right Dan that was the name of your Calypso album you can't get mad at Stuart for referencing it Your turn. All right. Dan, that was the name of your Calypso album. You can't get mad at Stewart for referencing it. That's my genre, apparently. So this is a podcast where I get roasted, but it's also a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

Starting point is 00:02:00 A movie that society has deemed bad. We will be the final arbiters eventually. Yeah. For all time. In this case, oh boy, we got a big sweet meatball here. Sweet ball. Borderlands, the movie based on a video game. Let's start out here.

Starting point is 00:02:21 I have no familiarity with this video game. I have to admit I was... I kind of stopped playing games regularly in the platformer era and haven't done that much later. Stuart, you put your hand up. You're more of a Prince of Persia type guy. Yeah. Dan was like, is there a Mario in this? So yeah, I have played, I think the second Borderlands, maybe the third, I think the second Borderlands, maybe the third, I don't remember. I picked up one of the random ones.

Starting point is 00:02:49 They are described as a role playing game, which I feel like is a misnomer because you're not really role playing. You're just running around shooting things and you occasionally have missions where you have to go around and shoot other things. And the idea is that you're constantly shooting and fighting and enemies are constantly dropping better and better weapons.

Starting point is 00:03:06 And the whole idea is that it's a loot-based game. So you're constantly killing people for their weapons with the hope of getting a rare or crazy loot weapon thing. And you can play with your friends online and run around and kill more stuff. So it sounds like there's a lot of socially redeeming value to the gameplay and the message of the game. And an exciting story to play along with.

Starting point is 00:03:28 I'm sorry, is that what you're looking for in your video games, Elliot? Is that your... Not entirely, no, but the older I get, the more I have to think about what lesson would my child take from this game if they were playing it? And, you know. Are you?

Starting point is 00:03:42 Goombas need to be stopped. They're gonna take the right lesson, which is get that loot. I mean, that's a I guess that's a what if scenario. But if you're playing the game alone, I think it's fine. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, Borderlands. I this movie, I have to say there's a certain like zippy, like neonness to some of the aesthetic or at least like bright colors that I actually enjoyed as cheap as the movie can look sometimes, but I assume that that comes from the game.

Starting point is 00:04:11 I assume that that's all stuff lifted from the game. Is that true Stuart? Yeah, the game is notable for being very bright, and also, I don't know if this is the most accurate description, but it has a kind of like cell shading, classic art or animation style that I've seen replicated on Warhammer figures to great contrast.

Starting point is 00:04:32 Yeah, I was talking to someone last night about this and they were saying the same thing, that it has like kind of lines on the outside to make it look a little more comic book-y maybe. Yeah, yeah. So maybe this would have been served better as an animated movie, possibly, as an adult animated movie. 100%.

Starting point is 00:04:52 It's also a game that is like constant things being thrown in your face. Bullets, like loot, like notifications. Ties, rabbit bombs. Rabbit bombs, and there is, of course, a lot of it is being narrated by a very annoying robot, here voiced by all-star voice actor Jack Black. Now, does the game also feel like it is desperately trying

Starting point is 00:05:16 to be Guardians of the Galaxy, or is that just this movie? I feel like this is kind of an attempt to take that kind of general, like, snappiness and sassiness and turn it into I mean I feel like Guardians of the Galaxy is at least the most palatable way to do this and that this that they're trying to take this and push it toward something that's a little more accessible for say a, a normal person, as opposed to a, I don't know, like, Mountain Dew code red fueled teenager. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess let's get into it. This is a movie, I will say also upfront, went through a lot of production difficulties.

Starting point is 00:06:00 Like, Eli Roth's name is the only listed director name, but it was my understanding that at least half of this was reshoots done by a later director. It was done by the guy who did Terminator Dark Fate. They brought him in. Yes, Steven Spielberg did that too. I thought you said D.B. Cooper. There are several more...

Starting point is 00:06:23 It says Director Better Cooper, yeah. Yeah. There's several more screenwriters who worked on this, as is always the case. Every movie has extra screenwriters, yeah. But it went through a lot of... Originally, Roth delivered an R-rated cut apparently, and then they didn't want that, they wanted a PG-13 cut it got wildly nothing nothing But dicks I believe is what? the One of the screenwriters is what Craig Craig Mays in Craig Mays on of a noble yeah

Starting point is 00:06:57 Wow More He's the one he's the screen I mean he also wrote like the hangover movies and things like that You know like that's the he's's the screenwriter. I mean he also wrote like the hangover movies and things like that, you know Like that's the he's similar tone to turn over I was the outlier in his know ultimate hangover if you ask me But he but yeah, his name was he had his name removed from the credits at a certain point So well, it's interesting that went through so many hands including, you know, some big boarders Considering that every line in this seems like a cliche that was

Starting point is 00:07:26 lifted from a different film. I don't feel like there's any sort of line of dialogue that I'm like, yeah, that's new. It all feels like... It does feel like there are certain movies where you're like, oh, they started using the AI program. Okay, that AI program, they started using it to make movies. And this is unfortunately one of them, even though we know from the documented history that human beings worked on this movie and made it, you know.

Starting point is 00:07:51 Yeah. So there's like at any one point a character is going to be saying something like, well, that happened or... I don't know. Yeah, it's all on that basic level. That's got to hurt. So let's start talking about the movie. This movie, of course, does what all great Flophouse films do. And it leaps right into the narrator voiceover right away.

Starting point is 00:08:18 We learn. But this narrator, Dan, this narrator voiceover has got a little bit of attitude. Oh, this ass. A little bit of this ass, a little bit of cynicism. Not at the beginning though. At the beginning it's deadly serious until she changes so we know it's going to be a little different. A little bit of a vocal record scratch.

Starting point is 00:08:33 We do things a little differently here at Borderlands. Some say a little bit worse. Bottomless wins. We serve you the dessert first. Yeah, iridians. Iridians, these aliens to us, not to them. I'm going to stop you right there, I'm already bored. Let me change my phone real quick. Okay, you want to talk about another movie? How's Indiana? You're on the road, Wes. Yeah, yeah. I spent a lot of time with my parents. They started watching Foundations,

Starting point is 00:09:04 so that's going to keep them busy for a while. Interesting choice. I mean, last time I came to visit it was Shogun. I just popped Shogun on and they were like, whoop. They're like iPad kids. Yeah, distract them, distract them a little bit. Iridians used to rule the universe, the left fragments of their highly advanced technology around. And that was what civilization sprung up from this.

Starting point is 00:09:30 But there's a vault, a fabled vault on the planet of Pandora, where all their real good stuff is hidden. And that's turned... What? Real quick, when you name something Pandora, does that mean it's full of good stuff? Yeah, unobtanium and whatnot. It's all there. Yeah, it usually means that there's no bad effect. Yeah, everything's going to be fine. No irony. Just in case you've forgotten, because you're in a different town, you don't have to raise your hand,

Starting point is 00:10:01 although I do appreciate it. I do appreciate that you do that rather than interrupting me. So maybe I shouldn't argue with it. It's like a little visual cue for all the listeners at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys ever been to an Au Bon Pandora and you just get it like a chocolate croissant when you open it up, all the evils of the world come out? I like to call it a Pandora Chocolat. Sure, that's what they call it in France, yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:23 Okay, so because everyone knows... Guys, you ever been to Pandora Express and you just want to get that like orange chicken and then it turns out all the evils of the world are in it? Yeah, but at the end you open up the fortune cookie and there's hope inside. So that's good. Oh, yeah. In bed. How do they get the hope inside the cookie?

Starting point is 00:10:42 That's the thing I always wonder. I don't know. Corporations and treasure seekers... Vault hunters, Dan. They're called vault hunters. They all want to find what's in this vault. And of course, you know it, there's a prophecy. I don't know who prophesized this or why. The Aridians, I guess, before they died.

Starting point is 00:11:03 A daughter of Aridia would be the one who will open the vault and restore order to the planet and um Then we see we're on a space station with a with what I believe the children understand as a jerk-off motion But like a real like soft and sensitive one like I care about the care about the ghost. Yeah He's saying that this is a great turn of events because it causes pleasure Gives the gift of pleasure So Dan and the and the person doing this voiceover they're like I believe in this prophecy and and this is great, right? That's the way that they leave us

Starting point is 00:11:39 They're pretty sardonic about it. I don't remember exactly what they say, but this is Load of shit or something like that. So we see this space station where Tina, who's a sassy, amoral girl, is being... It's unclear what's going on here because it seems like it's a rescue by her dad. Later on we find that it's quite the opposite. And I couldn't tell whether that was the movie deliberately misleading me, it was the movie being difficult to understand,

Starting point is 00:12:14 or it was just my fault. But- I think you're supposed to have those questions in mind because it looks like she's being rescued from a prison of some kind. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Because there's other people imprisoned on this thing, this space station.

Starting point is 00:12:28 My question is why is, so why is she imprisoned on like a, if she's being, we'll find out later she's being held by this corporation because they want to, they've genetically created her as a clone to open up this vault. So why is she being held on like a prison satellite with Krieg, a monster psycho who is just violent? But he's actually a good guy. I think he's a good guy. You'd think you'd keep her somewhere that was probably like a little bit safer and also

Starting point is 00:12:54 not as liable to be part of a prison riot. But again, that's just me. I'm not Borderlands. That's just me. I'm not the head of an intergalactic company. Maybe I don't know. Yeah. If Elliot was in charge, he'd store in some kind of nursery with a bunch of other kids like little wrinkled up kids

Starting point is 00:13:06 You know I tease on their hands like blue skin with wrinkles and Ted Huge rabbit right there like a huge rabbit that can that can turn into a monster Yeah, and that'll keep those kids from freaking out and blowing crap up Got a powerful kid you keep them in a nursery so they feel like a baby otherwise Yeah, they're gonna blow stuff over their minds. I go on I don't want my little blue-wrinkled kids getting out. Yeah. This guy gets it.

Starting point is 00:13:28 What you definitely don't do is you don't introduce a street punk who just got mind powers to this group of kind of sheltered kids because he's gonna give them bad ideas. Suddenly there's gonna be like milk dripping out of those giant rabbits. You don't want that. Elliot, the waveforms he has is unprecedented. That's true. He does have unprecedented waveforms. You're talking about Akira. Yes, we're talking about Akira. He has unprecedented. That's true, he does have unprecedented waveforms, yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:45 You're talking about Akira. Yes, we're talking about Akira, Daniel. It matches the Akira thing. I just kind of zoned out when I... Yeah, the fact that she seems to be on this prison thing is part of, I think, what confused me, because it seems like she had been kidnapped and she's being rescued, but in fact, quite the opposite is happening, sort of. Anyway, Roland Kevin Hart shows up to bust her out.

Starting point is 00:14:06 Named, of course, after the hero of European myth, yeah. And yes, as you mentioned before, Krieg, who kind of looks like a big Jason from Friday the 13th kind of guy, is also a prisoner here. You think he's going to be creepy, but he's a he's a gentle giant He just his main his main thing is that he fights and also he says like two word kind of crazy Phrases to describe things like which I think is I think is game is game accurate He's also that character is also the poster boy. I believe he's on the covers of all the games great visual look He's this big shirtless brute with a with a mask on masks always look cool. Yeah. Yeah

Starting point is 00:14:49 So anyway, we cut to Promethea a different place a planet We're in a bar not the comic book Promethea I knew we were gonna talk about this Which which beautiful book beautiful book? I did lose a little bit of interest in the what what, 16 issue rundown of the levels of the Kabbalah. But you know what? It's still beautiful.

Starting point is 00:15:11 Elliot, if you can't love them at the 16 issue rundown of the Kabbalah, you can't love them at the, what, painted doll doing backflips and shooting biblical accurate demons. Yeah, I guess you're right. You're right. I'm currently reading Alan Moore's book of short stories, Illuminations, and I'm finding that there's a certain point each of the stories where I'm like, oh, I feel like I'm kind of like full. Like, how much more?

Starting point is 00:15:33 It's like a lot of language here and I feel pretty full. How much more is there this story? 35 more pages. Oh, okay. So yeah, there's a certain point maybe you just switch over to novels, sir. He's written novels, Dan. He's written very little novels. I point maybe you just switch over to novels, sir. Yeah, I know he's written novels, Dan. He's written very, very well. I know, but just switch the mode, switch over.

Starting point is 00:15:48 Careful what you wish for. OK. Anyway, on Promethea, we meet Lilith, the bounty hunter who's played by Cate Blanchett, our main character. And let's just say it, let's just say it, because we're going to be tiptoeing around to the whole time looks amazing So we'll just we'll just mention she looks incredible just like dyed red hair She's got you know cosplay bounty hunter stuff on she looks cool She like I would love to see Kate Blanchett in this kind of thing if it was better Great

Starting point is 00:16:20 Like the idea of Kate Blanchett getting to do this and get to be an action hero, it's awesome. It's a cool idea. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I wish it lived up to like the, you want to see action Tar. You want to see Tar as an action hero and it doesn't get you to that place, you know. There is a scene later on where she picks up a flamethrower and roasts a bunch of dudes

Starting point is 00:16:43 and I'm like, I think I came a million times. But also, when I was looking up- I brought this up because I didn't want to seem creepy later. When I was looking up Borderlands the game on Wikipedia, the very short explanation of it made it sound like, oh, a ragtag group of treasure hunters. And I'm like, yeah, treasure hunting aliens, that could be really fun. But then I don't know to what degree stuff from this

Starting point is 00:17:13 is like lifted from the sequels, but it all gets mucked up with stuff about like a chosen one and all the bullshit you don't need and these things. I would rather just see like a heist. And people dealing with their issues with their parents. Yes, plenty of that please. Flashbacks to mommy like letting her chosen one go. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:34 Anyway, Lilith is, you know. Lilith is a character from the games though, right? I think so. She's not just from Frasier. She's also from the board games. She's not just from Frasier. We's also from the Borges family. She's not here from Frasier. We are literally in the second scene of the movie. There's been so many interruptions.

Starting point is 00:17:51 We've got to move this along a little better. So she's on Prometheus. She's what? She just caught a bounty or something? Yeah, yeah. But it gets interrupted by a bunch of people trying to shoot at her. She kills them all, of course, because she's our hero, she's the bad assiest, badass, whatever.

Starting point is 00:18:07 Life means nothing in the rough world of Borderlands. Yeah. Yeah, turns out this has been a test from Atlas, who's kind of like, I don't know, just like a big shot. Like he's a rich guy, he rules a lot of stuff. He's an evil rich guy, evil corporate guy. He's like an Elon Musk. He's not the Atlas that has to hold the Earth up all the time.

Starting point is 00:18:28 Yeah, man, imagine if that guy shrugged, because oh boy. Oh boy, would we be in trouble. Oh boy, would we have to learn about a bunch of economic garbage. Bullshit. So, but this has all been like a test from Atlas. He... So, but this has all been like a test from Atlas. He, he, this is kind of fun. He projects himself like via hologram onto like one of the dead guys and then like the one remaining living guy has to sort of bear his message.

Starting point is 00:18:55 Yeah, it's like he's got, it's like a, one of the things that looks neat in this movie is these kind of like hologram masks that people wear and here, yeah, there's a guy who is wearing a hologram mask so that the the boss can talk through him Yeah, and then that guy gets killed so the one underlings left alive has to take that mask off and put it on so that The boss can talk Yeah, that's a funny. It's like it's like a personal portable deep fake machine. Yeah it's one of those things that is a Future and face a piece of future technology that is actually

Starting point is 00:19:25 that functions a little bit worse and less naturally than the technology we have now. But that's the world we live in. That's most of the new technology that comes in functions worse than what we have. So yes, it's it's realistic, you know. But he wants her to go find his daughter, Tina, who he says been kidnapped the a moral kid with the bunny ears that we saw earlier on I don't know she had the bunny ears when we saw her the first time did she it could be could not be who knows hey let's pause the go back rewatch it let's find out when the bunny ears you

Starting point is 00:19:58 know the pic it should interest the picture well we know the bunny ears stay in the picture as in Robert Evans famous memoir She gets a beacon to activate when she finds a daughter anyway, we go to Pandora and she arrives in this transport Transport pod we learned that this is you know the plan that she's from yeah We just become you know a big junkie from people fighting over it, you know trying to find this fault vault for centuries or what, I guess just decades. I don't know how long the timeline on this thing is. But here's the first part of the movie where I'm like, wow, this really shows how this

Starting point is 00:20:35 movie must have been chopped up because there's a long sequence of her being like, yeah, I talked to these kids and they directed me here and then I was attacked by these marauders whatever and it's all in narration and we just get like a couple of shots of it and I'm like This has 100% got to be stuff that they shot and they're like, well, we don't want to get rid of all of it So let's just Let's just keep the scene where she rides a bus for a while Yeah calling her a treasure of all time to her and it never pays off ever. Let's just let's just keep the scene where she rides a bus for a while and a guy keeps calling her a treasure vault hunter And it never pays off ever. Let's just let's just do that instead

Starting point is 00:21:08 It does it does feel like yeah It would be funny if the movie made a little bit more out of that if what we were seeing clips of something really exciting And she's like yeah, so I got attacked by this stuff and yada yada. It sucked anyway. I gotta keep going So let's let's look I wish they had made more of a joke out of the fact that she's just yada yadaing us through this thing, but you're right, it does feel like they were like, it does feel like Eli Roth you handed in a two hour and 30 minute Borderlands movie,

Starting point is 00:21:34 so you gotta cut some stuff, you know, as opposed to a deliberate choice, you know. Yeah, I mean I will say that the next thing that we get, the bus is at least kind of a funny idea. It's not necessary, but yes, yeah It gives the sense of like okay this is a place where everyone comes to treasure hunt to the degree that there's now this whole like tourist industry basically that is sprung up around it and

Starting point is 00:21:55 But uh we flash forward a couple weeks again Like any she doesn't want to be mistaken for a vault hunter. So she keeps saying I'm not a vault hunter I'm not a vault hunter. I'm not a vault hunter. Because as with James Bond, when you're on a secret mission of some kind, you want everybody to know why you're there and who you are and not have the wrong idea because they might be, they might pay less attention to you

Starting point is 00:22:15 if you don't tell them. I think the problem is that she is so incredibly capable that it's not like if people get the right idea and they're like, oh, you're a bounty hunter trying to find the chosen one. It's not like she wouldn't be able to just shoot them to death. No, that's true. Cause she could.

Starting point is 00:22:33 Well, the thing about it is like, this is one of the cases, you know, Audrey hasn't watched a lot of the more recent bad movies with me, but she'd watched this one. And she immediately was like, spoiler alert for the end of the movie that we're going to explain later, like, oh, Cate Blanchett's gonna be the one who's gonna be able to open the vault.

Starting point is 00:22:51 And part of that is, you know, by the diagrammatic nature of this storytelling, like, she's the one who doesn't care about it. So she has to be the one who, you know, can do it. And Tina keeps saying, I'm the special one, I'm special, I'm special. You know she's not gonna turn out to be special. and you know, I'm the special one. I'm special. I'm special You know, she's not gonna turn out to be special because yeah, the thing about this bus thing is it's a funny idea But there's no actual jokes in it. It's just kind of like the drivers like aha vault hunter

Starting point is 00:23:15 Welcome, I'll drive you vault hunters. She's like I'm not a vaulter and then he starts playing a video That's like vault hunters. Welcome to Pandora, but then it's just him talking about guns They might need like there's no there's no jokes in any of it, but it's presented as if there's jokes. Yeah, the thing I wrote down about the dialogue for this movie is everything in this movie is either exposition, a cliche, or mirthless jokes. Like there are things that are supposed to be jokes,

Starting point is 00:23:40 but none of them are funny. Like I have to admit, I chuckled at some of the stuff in the movie, but it was mostly just like, wow, this is like, what's this movie doing? You know? And I feel like this sequence feels like part of the like on-ramp element in the game, where you're like, this is how you play, welcome to the game.

Starting point is 00:24:00 While you're waiting, why not press the A button to control your camera, That kind of stuff. Oh, you need to crouch now. A very important thing is about to happen, which is of course that Jack Black enters the picture in the form of a little box robot named Clap Trap. And I don't know if this is true. I should have confirmed this actually. I was talking to a friend about the production of this movie and they said that they had

Starting point is 00:24:25 heard that he, like all of the Jack Black stuff was recorded way early. Like he didn't even know kind of what he was reacting to. It was just like some of the earliest stuff that was, I don't know, maybe we can figure out later on whether that's true. But it seems like the best idea. Yeah. But somebody, some unknown person. Somebody once told me. Somebody once told Claptrap that he was programmed

Starting point is 00:24:49 to protect Lilith should she ever return to the planet. Who was it? We don't know right now. We don't know. Luckily, he happens to be in the right side of the planet for her to meet up with him because again, this is a planet. So even a small planet is very big and Claptrap is a very small robot

Starting point is 00:25:05 So it's lucky they happen to meet up in the right place Maybe it's one of those like little planets that has the exact same gravity as Earth though Oh, maybe like Little Prince lives on on the cover of the Little Prince. Yeah, could be The Little Prawns Claptrap is able to locate Tina, blah blah blah blah blah. So here's Claptrap. I do like one thing about Claptrap, which is I like the concept of him where he is programmed to serve Lilith, but he does not like her.

Starting point is 00:25:38 So he's very openly derisive of her, but he has to listen to what she's saying. I mean, is this kind of... Passively aggressive derisive. Like, he's very passive aggressive like oh no It would be terrible if you died Yeah, is this kind of like Marvin from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Yes very much So like a high-energy Marvin, but at the same time It's a funny attitude for a robot

Starting point is 00:25:57 And I just wish that I wish the things that he said were a little funnier because it's yeah I like that concept that I have to follow you, but I don't want to Because it's I like that concept that I have to follow you, but I don't want to So she finds tiny Tina in the quarry she introduces herself I believe is tiny Tina or like the movie does or something. I'm like, okay I guess that's your full name that you go by is tiny Tina from the desk of Tina Guys, how how were you that this movie did not have like freeze frame, like paint swatch title cards every time one of our main characters showed up?

Starting point is 00:26:30 I am so shocked that my memory supplied the possibility of one just now. I'm like, did the movie do that? No, it does do the thing where it'll like cut to a planet and it'll just say like Pandora in big yellow letters on the screen or something like yeah, yeah, but but that's it Yeah, we didn't get we didn't get freeze-frame paint swatch intro Moments, you know suicide squad suicide squad Sua squad squad style So Tina at first seems like she's like, oh great you rescued me, but of course she's an immoral, hit girl, amoral, hit girl style character. There's nothing funnier or more fun than little kids who are violent little maniacs.

Starting point is 00:27:20 It's the world we're developing. Les enfants terrible, you know what I mean? Stuart is being so bilingual today, I love it. Gordon Lance is really bringing out the Enfants in him. The Enfants? Lilith tosses Tina an exploding bunny. And these bunnies, I gotta say say these are some of the least effective bombs They they these occasionally seem to work on bad guys if they're tossed at a character

Starting point is 00:27:51 We care about they will at best knock them out. Yeah, and they also have a blinking red highlights that Signals to someone that they're holding a bomb which seems like a bad thing to do if you're trying to discuss Let's give them credit for this. You can carry them on your person without it showing or without even having a bag or any sort of carrying thing. They just appear when you need them, as if you're keeping them in your butt. So you got to give them credit for that.

Starting point is 00:28:18 I mean there's other options, Elliot, but you're probably right. It is the butt. Yeah. I don't know how, who else in your body are you going to be able to carry that many stuffed bunnies. Yeah, we don't have flesh sacks as humans No, I thought that because unfortunately, we're not descended from marsupials. The marsupials had the right idea Yeah, it is on the pocket on the body, you know Krieg is there with Tina also, you know protecting her and

Starting point is 00:28:41 But then and they fight a bit Lilith and Krieg but then Knox shows up the commander of the Crimson Lance which is I guess Atlas's army force and they're going to take them in when Tina throws another bunny bomb. There's a big you know things collapse the in the in the chaos they escape with Roland who has returned have we have we explained who Roland is that Roland is, that Roland is Kevin Hart? Roland is Kevin Hart. He was part of the Crimson Lance in the past.

Starting point is 00:29:10 He seems to have gone rogue. There also seems to be some sort of romantic history with him in Knox. Yeah, and this is a grim portrayal by Kevin Hart. This is not the jokey, smiley Kevin Hart we've come to know from nearly every other performance. He's given on film This is a very serious very dour Kevin Hart I I very much love a movie where it feels like

Starting point is 00:29:32 Everybody but one person is slumming it and that one person is Kevin Hart like I feel like when he showed up to said He's like oh, yeah I can't wait to be in this great movie and everyone else like this piece of shit And the kid I feel like the kid was probably excited about yeah, but I read that Kevin Hart I don't know if this is true because just something I read the internet that he trained with a marine To before the audition for the movie and I'm like, that's hard That's hard-corded be training for the audition when you're a big superstar like Kevin Hart like that And maybe they just should be off or only right?

Starting point is 00:30:02 He should be off from Kevin Hart If you're listening this if your reps are not making you offer only for this kind of movie, then call me. I will be your management. I will represent you because you should be offer only. You should not be auditioning for these roles. You'd be a really good talent manager, Elliot. Oh, I'd be great at it.

Starting point is 00:30:18 Oh yeah, because I love conflict. I love really pushing people. I love getting down to brass tacks and really like putting the screws to people short But you have like an auctioneers mentality Yeah, I mean I can talk fast but That's the main thing that is necessary from as I understand it from pop culture Talking yeah. Yeah, but then I'd have to wear a suit. I'd have to have a ponytail I'd have to draw yeah, you can probably talk into two different cell phones at the same time

Starting point is 00:30:46 I probably could do that. Yeah. Yeah, that's true And then I'd go you guys talk to each other and just smush the cell phones together And then the scene would start with me and whoever just walked into the room Yeah, I thought you'd be like yelling into one and being really sweet and the other and then at some point you get them You know, yeah police style. Sure. Yeah, I'm perfect Yeah police style sure yeah perfect Anyway, so they're escaping in a car with Roland they go through a gully full of P and feces so that's funny

Starting point is 00:31:22 And there's a monster that we see a tentacle monster that they kill and they have to like the tire gets blown They have to take a little break for some exposition we find out that will this mom died trying to find this doll this vault Roland's deal is he wants to keep atlas from finding the vault himself because atlas cannot be trusted with whatever's inside he's such an evil guy he's such an openly evil guy yeah I like but I like fun evil like he's evil in the way where it's like all the characters should know he's evil But it's not like he is not like he's not like Denzel Washington and gladiator 2 who's just having the time of his life Yes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah Well, anyway, there's like it's a there's a tripart key I guess and they have one thing things. Yes. It's like yeah or whatever

Starting point is 00:32:03 Yeah, so anyway, we go to Sanctuary City. Moxie's red light. Take me down to Sanctuary City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Christina Gershon is there. Yeah, Christina Gershon is playing Moxie doing a Mae West impression basically. She's like a southern Mae West. Yeah. She knows what movie she's in.

Starting point is 00:32:24 Like a southern fried Mae West who's with like cabaret makeup and a little Mae West. Yeah. Yeah, she knows what movie she's in like a southern fried Mae West Who's with like, you know cabaret makeup and a little top hat and stuff and yeah and moxie knows where the scientist is who kind of raised Lilith and You know like there's you know parent issues like you said Like Lilith's like why did she send me away? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We can learn there's reasons, of course.

Starting point is 00:32:52 Because this is the only thing she's now this is now we're now at the stage in the movie where Lilith is encountering people from her life on on Pandora. And so like when they go, Moxie knows everybody, everybody knows Moxie, you know, and the so it it's, yeah, we get some backstory there, you know? Yeah. Meanwhile, someone from the Army knows Roland. His roommate, his former roommate, yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:15 They have a little comedy scene where they both try and pretend like. That's Bobby Lee, is that right? Yeah. Yeah, anyway, he's gonna rat them out, of course. So they have to knock him out and escape and then we meet Tanis who is played by Jamie Lee Curtis. And Tanis is helpful for making wine, right? Those are tannins?

Starting point is 00:33:38 Oh, tannins. Sorry. My apologies. Those are the sort of astringent thing that you find in wine or tea. So this is our second Academy Award winner in Borderlands. My apologies. Yeah, those are the sort of astringent thing that you find in wine or tea. So this is our second Academy Award winner in Borderlands. Yeah. To be fair, I don't think she had won her Academy Award when they made Borderlands yet, right?

Starting point is 00:33:55 Because she just won. That is probably fair. Although maybe she did. I don't know. But I mean, she's still a legend. I mean, she's still Jamie Lee Curtis. She's been on It was so long. So, Tannis was supposed to kind of take care of Lilith after her mom was... Like we see later on, she's like, there's some sort of siege that she can't escape.

Starting point is 00:34:16 It's one of these things where a secret has been kept from Lilith about what her mom was doing and her true identity for no reason. Only to create resentment. And I feel like if Tannis had been played a little bit more absent-minded, then maybe I would get that it just didn't occur to her that she would wanna know these things about her past. But also, why is Tannis the person you're gonna leave your child with?

Starting point is 00:34:39 It's one of these things, this movie is a lot of characters doing the things they need to do to keep the movie going so that it hits movie beats, as opposed to characters doing things that make sense for them to do. Like, there's a part where Lilith is like, alright, I guess I have to work with you guys because of that fight with Crimson Lance. And it's like, I don't see why. Like, I don't know, I don't see why you couldn't just take the girl and bring her back now, or why you couldn't just tell Crimson Lance,

Starting point is 00:35:05 yeah, I was trying to capture her when you guys showed up. Like, there's no, there's a lot of, there's a lot of just, well, I guess this is part of the part of the movie where I do this now, you know. Yeah, it's time to team up. I do like how Jamie Lee Curtis as Tannis is dressed up kind of like a drum major. She's wearing like a red little coat and with like, she almost looks like Dr. Robotnik. I really like that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:28 Well, anyway, this is the person who was supposed to sort of be a surrogate mom to Lilith, but she left Lilith with tradespeople so she could continue her vault chasing ways. She's been studying this for years. And so here we learn also from Tina that Atlas created her, like that Atlas is her father only in the sense that he is her creator, that there was a piece of DNA from an Iridian on an old on the vault key that he used to clone an iridion because

Starting point is 00:36:08 You know an iridion is who's supposed to be able to open the vault. Yeah, there's a problem She is hit she is atlas's child in the same way that like the Marvel characters are Disney's children You know, I've been acquired rather than rather than a natural, you know creation the miracle life, you know. Tanis has the information that the second vault key is in Caustic Caverns. So that's where they got to go on their next fetch quest. And meanwhile... Caustic Caverns, it sounds like something at like the Itchy and Scratchy Land amusement park.

Starting point is 00:36:43 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sounds like something at the Itchy and Scratchy Land amusement park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Meanwhile, someone's seen Claptrap in Sanctuary City, and so they have to escape. What's amazing here is, okay, we haven't mentioned Claptrap very much. And you would think that Claptrap is not a visible presence in the movie as a result. But Claptrap is a constant, constant, nattering, chattering presence in this movie. And he is impossible to forget for a second, because he's constantly just wheeling up and going like,

Starting point is 00:37:08 hey, blah, blah, blah, blah, you guys, blah, blah, blah. And the scene where he's in Sancturicity, I don't know what he's doing. He's just walking around going, spare parts? Anybody got some spare parts? And like hitting on a vending machine. I don't know why he's there. They just need to have someone see them so that they can be chased. But it's like that Claptrap is such a...

Starting point is 00:37:26 It's just that he's such a through line for the movie. But for no... It's like if someone sees Star Wars and they're like, yeah, guess you got to have droids that are just kind of making noises and talking during the movie. And it's like, well, are you gonna give the droids like a... like much of a personality or like a thing that they do? Do you have to? I don't think so. Well, I mean, I will say that like, Jack Black's a funny guy and he's a talented voice actor.

Starting point is 00:37:50 Like, he's not doing a bad job with what this character is, but they give him so much. Like, he's talking all the time, like you say, and a little of claptrap goes a long way. It's like, even to the point is he's annoying. When you go to, it's like you go to a restaurant and on the menu it says like like a house sauce You know on the hamburger you're like alright. I'll try that I guess and then you and it comes back and the sauce is covering the bun Ghosts cats yeah, there's a laughing watermelon

Starting point is 00:38:22 The house is Ghosts cats. Yeah, there's a laughing watermelon in the background That's off your fingers But there's but you are not allowed to forget for one moment that claptrap is a character in this movie Like yeah, just all over the place, you know, it'd make this scene better claptrap, but I agree I Jack Black I think is doing his best with with what they've given him Yeah, you know, I feel nobody nobody in this movie is necessarily like Completely sleepwalking through it but nobody nobody is given a lot to succeed with. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:51 So, we go into Caustic Caverns. They're immediately, they can't get by because there's a bunch of these bloodshot people. As the movie says, they're psychos that the psychos are afraid of. And there's a lair and they're like, and Clap Town is like, there's a 0% chance we can get through without being detected. You never see that, which is actually pretty funny. I like that. And I genuinely-

Starting point is 00:39:17 Was that as funny as the part where he has to poop bullets and he's saying, don't look at me, don't look at me? We'll get there. Don't, don't skip to dessert like the restaurant I said before that does things a little differently. I do kind of like, I admit, this next bit where they're like, well, did you run a thing where you're the distraction and the way he does the distraction where he's like, even though it would make no sense for me to say this to all you violent people, you know, who will just shoot me, if there's any other reason that I was making a distraction,

Starting point is 00:39:51 but then he like insults them in a very dumb way. And again, a little bit of claptrap goes a long way. And I will say- There's some of these moments where he actually is doing something and doing an actual joke as opposed to just doing shtick in the background. Right. Joe is better, I would say. Yeah. No, I agree.

Starting point is 00:40:14 And I think this sequence is, when they're being chased eventually by the blood shots, I think it's one of the better sequences in the movie. I think it does get across that idea, Stuart, that you were talking about from the game of like, there's just constant stuff coming at him you know. And as we said like it feels like the script in the dialogue is written by AI the choice for this big action sequence to be set to Ace of Spades feels like an AI decision. Yeah and it yeah I was we were watching this they start attack they get caught they start attacking and it's an ace of spades

Starting point is 00:40:46 Just comes in out of nowhere. It's non-diegetic. That's fine. And I had a brief moment It's not it's not like they were listening to it. I had a brief moment of like I Love this song like why isn't this movie and I was like, you know what? There's some 14 year old kid who thought Borderlands was gonna be a real badass kickass movie and went to go see it and is not enjoying it and then at least it's gonna introduce them to this song the same way when I was 10 the young ones introduced me to this song and it just really blew my mind. So I was like, you know is Elliot sitting watching this being like, ugh, they used Ace of Spades in this dumb movie. I hate this. Or is Elliot like, perking up because, oh,

Starting point is 00:41:35 at least I get to listen to Ace of Spades for a while. There's a little bit of that. I mean, when I listen to Ace of Spades, I like to hear it without the sounds of, ugh. Get out of here. Ugh, that's gotta hurt. Yeah, exactly. But here, that's gotta hurt. Yeah, exactly.

Starting point is 00:41:46 But no, it is fun, it's, you know, and it just, but honestly it reminded me of when they played Ace of Spades in Shoot Em Up, and I was like, oh, I wish I was watching Shoot Em Up. Like that's a movie that feels like it's doing something. But it also reminded me of when Whiplash, the Metallica song plays in, was it That's My Boy? Whiplash? Oh.

Starting point is 00:42:03 And, this is what I think, in the movie Whiplash, I'm like, when are they going to play Whiplash? Like there's a drum, there's a whole drum sequence in that. But the, in the movie, that Whiplash plays, I think in that Adam Saylor movie we watched years ago with him and Andy Samberg. And it flashed me back to that and I was like, well, I didn't like that at all. So I don't know guys, it's, I guess this, like, like, like Proust's Madeleine, more excuses for Stuart to drop some French on us. This brought back a lot of memories for me.

Starting point is 00:42:26 But I will say Ace of Spades is going to survive fine from Borderlands. So it didn't, and I'd rather they play, here's the thing. I will say I'd rather they played one of the greatest kind of kickass metal songs at all time, of all times during this action sequence, than play an ironic kind of like a Dean Martin song or like, you know of like a Dean Martin song or like a children's song or something bright and fluffy that's supposed to be an ironic counterpoint. Or like a 70s funk song or something.

Starting point is 00:42:53 Yes, exactly. Baa-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na that were in and it didn't bother me as much as in Guardians when they're fighting those pig monsters and No Sleep Till Brooklyn comes up and I was like, come on dudes, like can we have can we can we find a new song? Can we find a song that I haven't heard in another movie this year? You know, so so you know what guys, this is my review. If my review of Borderlands was entirely about their use the song Ace of Spades, then I'd probably give it a pretty good review, to be honest. Well, anyway, Claptrap, you know, having served as the distraction, was shot the hell up. So then we get the teased pooping scene where he's like, like they've gotten through the first part of trying to evade these people without being detected. And suddenly he's making all this noise because he's expelling the extra lead from him,

Starting point is 00:43:50 which is him shitting out bullets. And he says, as you said, don't look at me. And I didn't realize at the time, but I of course sent a screenshot from the Wikipedia page that this was like a seminal moment in the making of Borderlands or the conceiving of it. And I'm going to read it to the audience who did not receive it in text form.

Starting point is 00:44:15 It would've been invasive, I think, if you had texted the entire audience. Yeah, I would've been liking that YouTube album. Eli Roth stated that his French bulldog pooping gave him inspiration while pitching the film. I have to look away because she gets really shy. But one day I filmed her. She had that shy look on her face and I was like, that's claptrap. A scene of claptrap pooping was included in the final film.

Starting point is 00:44:38 So there you go. Movie magic. A dog pooping turns into a robot poop it's a real Shakespeare in love moment you know just inspiring art you know from something yeah exactly you know Ben Franklin put a kite up in a little bit. Yeah. But that's, that's, that's the inspirational poster that I have in my dentist's office. Yeah. The dentist's office. But this, yeah, this is Newton's apple or Newton's crapple, if you will.

Starting point is 00:45:15 Oh. Thank you. Well, anyone, him, him, anyone, any who, him shooting, shitting bullets, shooting bullets, him shitting bullets. I mean, he's kind of shooting them at his butt That raises again just like that making a song pooping Yeah, I don't know about you guys But every time I go to the bathroom every time I make a little poop I make a little gun sound effect with my mouth

Starting point is 00:45:38 Just take you just to keep it exciting. You know just to be silly I do I do do the thing that I that I do you sorry hey Hey, that I'm sure that many men do though where where when you're peeing into a urinal you You're you pretend that you're a gunner who's firing out like the anti-aircraft Like a German plane or something, you know, yeah There's another scene of them evading people. They're chased Roland has to say behind if that means I don't pee just to stream, but instead individual bursts like a flyfire, then yes of course.

Starting point is 00:46:12 Yeah, yeah. Okay. Roland has to stay behind to fix the elevator so the rest of them can escape. He promises that he'll return. So then they go to a new place, an old mine. A new place in the old mine, yep. They put the two keys together to form a map to the vault and Tanis reveals that Tina is the third key and the vault will consume all the keys to open. We don't know what that means.

Starting point is 00:46:45 She says, I don't think that means she'll die, but who knows? And Tina does not know that she may die when the vault is open. She's just super, she's like, I'm special, I'm gonna open the vault, la la la la. You know, she's, you know, really, really pulling up the kitties. That's actually literally

Starting point is 00:46:59 her lines, I believe. And then she skips around. Yeah, she skips around with her bunny ears on, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, ma'am, shouldn't you be in one of the purge movies? Clap trap has fixed atlas's transmitter which little breaks again, but a drone shows up With his hologram saying the transmitter was a cracker. Yeah transfer was a tracker the crimsonson Lance is going to come collect Tina and the keys and Tina of course overhears only the most incriminating easy to misunderstand

Starting point is 00:47:34 part of this conversation and thinks that Lilith is still working for her quote unquote dad and throws another useless bomb at Lilith that just... It does knock Lilith off her feet for a moment, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Put her to sleep for a little while. I'll say to Tina that a bounty hunter came and said to you, I'm here to take you back to your dad. And then within like 30 minutes, you felt like you were best friends.

Starting point is 00:47:57 And then later you think you found out that she's still working for your dad. This is on you, Tina. This is not... You can't blame Lilith for this. Like, you know, shame on... Fool you once, shame on you. Fool you twice, shame on me. It's a... You can't do it. Yeah. This is on you, Tina. Yeah. Clap Trap briefly thinks that Lilith... Also, where do you think she got that bunny bomb from? Where do you think she was storing it?

Starting point is 00:48:21 Yeah, Dan. I guess it's gotta be the butt, like you said before. It's the only place on the human body that things can be stored. And we've established that things end up in people's, in characters' butts in this movie because Claptrap just pooped out all those bullets. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of Claptrap, he's briefly excited to think that Lilith is dead, but she's not.

Starting point is 00:48:42 Tell us, Dan, what are we talking about when we talk about Claptrap? Lilith, in Lilith's old home, she finds a picture of her and her mom. Now wait, Dan, now did they go deliberately to her own home, or did they just stop? I'm not really sure why this happens, and I'll be honest, like, my notes don't really help a lot. I'm sure there's a lack of caring as well.

Starting point is 00:49:06 Lack of caring that happens. I think there's a chance I got hit by a bunny bomb around here, cause it's all pretty fuzzy at this point in the movie for me. But this triggers- I will also admit, yeah, from the middle of the, as soon as Ace of Spades stopped playing, I think I also kind of found the part

Starting point is 00:49:23 to pay close attention. Yeah, the light's got a little bit dimmer. Yeah, this movie is not a good movie all the way through, but I will say that I think... I would say it's not a good movie even from the start. But there's something about the relentless, like, we're just going to throw a bunch of stuff at you and it's all going to be brightly colored, at least rather than gray digital sheen. It kept my interest for a while, and then it did sort of become

Starting point is 00:49:47 less and less interesting to me. Anyway. Maybe it's mostly around the time that the movie gets less colorful, to be honest. Yeah. They start being in more dark rooms, they start just kinda being sad or, you know. Yes.

Starting point is 00:50:00 And I was wondering whether those were parts of the research shoots, because it does, there is a distinct shift in sort of the visual quality at a certain point, and I don't know which part was which, but anyway. This triggers- Probably the parts that look cheaper probably came later. Yeah, this triggers a hologram, R2D2 style,

Starting point is 00:50:22 to clear a few things up. From Claptrap. Claptrap shows My end of act two circuit has been tricked Lilith's mom shows up explaining that Via hologram that she sent lilith away on purpose because when she found out a quote what lilith was And she programmed Glamtrap to find her and protect her and tell her that she loves her.

Starting point is 00:50:49 Okay. This is the kind of stuff that should have, this is the kind of stuff that might have been better communicated in say a letter that she could have taken with her. Sure, earlier on. As a book, hey I've got to make sure that Lilith knows that she's the chosen one and that I love her. I guess I'll record a hologram and stick it in a robot and leave it on a different planet than Lilith is on in the hope that she finds it someday. And I better make the robot real annoying.

Starting point is 00:51:11 Yeah, I feel like deep down most parents are just jigsaws in disguise. You know, they just want to make things complicated. You kind of do it in a way that makes her hate my memory. How can I do that? How can I make her feel bad for hating me legitimately up to this point? And this is, what's her name? As the mom? Haley Bennett. I looked it up. Never mind. I thought it was somebody different.

Starting point is 00:51:35 Can't remember what all she's been in, but she's been in. Never mind. I thought it was someone else whose name I couldn't remember. So at the vault opening, guys guys you go into the big vault opening Everybody's gonna be there So Tina talks a lot about how special she is and of course that means that when she steps on the little vault thing the glowy Vault thing nothing happens. Yeah Turns out atlas has been watching the whole time behind, you know, like a disguise II shield Hologram thing.

Starting point is 00:52:05 Yeah. And Atlas is like, well, we're just gonna kill you now. And Roland also shows up. He makes good on his promise to not die earlier in the film. Oh yeah, so did we mention that he seemed to have sacrificed himself in order to save them from the bloodshot psychos? I did, I didn't make a big deal out of it because we all knew that he was gonna come back

Starting point is 00:52:29 There's no way but the movie made it seem like we were supposed to believe he was he was gonna die there and really yeah I saw himself right yeah Do you think that they had originally had some shots of him being like torn apart by the blood shots and they had to cut Those out probably when they decided to bring him back It would have been pretty funny if they showed him being torn apart and then when he came back he had like big stitches, stitching him back together like maybe that's a better movie. I would love that he found Dr. Frankensign there on Pandora.

Starting point is 00:52:57 So guys, here's my question about some of these movies. Is the audience supposed to be fooled by some of this kind of schmuck bait stuff where this character's a cynical, hard-bitten bounty hunter, they definitely can't be the chosen one, or oh, he's giving his life, we'll never see him again, or are we supposed to be in like, just like, well this is how movies go, because. Now.

Starting point is 00:53:19 Because here's my theory, and then I wanna, I asked you a question, now I'm gonna answer it. My theory is, this movie originally, I guess, was supposed to be rated R and they were like no make it PG-13 or whatever for kids Kids seem to be the only audience that I think would be able to follow this movie the way that it seems to be intended To the same way that when my older son saw the the Pokemon detective Pikachu movie. He the minute Bill Nye he showed up on screen, he did not like me go, oh, that's the bad guy.

Starting point is 00:53:48 He's gonna turn out to be the bad guy later. So when that character was revealed to be the bad guy, he was like, what? Like he was genuinely surprised by it. Did he have the same reaction when you guys watched Minority Report and he's like, Max von Seide, he's gotta be the good guy. You know what, Dan, you're gonna call Protective Services.

Starting point is 00:54:04 I have not yet shown Minor minority report to my children. But is it a... Is the movie saying to the audience, you know how this is gonna turn out, or is the movie expecting us to be surprised when these things happen? What do you think? Well, first I wanna call out the use of the term, schmuckbait, which is a term of art that I think that the audience probably can guess what it means.

Starting point is 00:54:27 It's an industry term, yeah. Yeah, it's the stuff that you lay in there that, yeah, it's supposed to fool people. But it's really only gonna fool people who have never seen a movie or television show before. Yeah, I think, I don't think that you're gonna believe that Roland's really dead just because, I don't think that you're going to believe that Roland's really dead just because I don't know it's it's it is supposed to be a sacrifice but it's not lingered over that much and it's

Starting point is 00:54:55 so cursory like it really feels like yeah yeah no he's gonna make good on this like I'll be back I do think that people aren't necessarily supposed to know like Lilith is Really the one who's gonna be able to open the vaults I think that's so because that I would do wonder that a lot because it seems so telegraphed Yeah early on but maybe that's just because we've seen so many movies that have a similar similar mechanic I don't know could be yeah The type of movie that's operating under the assumption that their audience has never seen a movie before and they're like, oh wow This is so novel. That train's coming right at me.

Starting point is 00:55:32 Are they expecting the Paul Schrader audience where they've been raised not being allowed to see movies because there's strict Calvinist upbringing. And so it's all new to them. I don't know. What did Paul Schrader think about this? Did he do a letterbox review of it? I'm sure he did. We should track them.

Starting point is 00:55:46 I'm still delighted by the idea that that man went and saw Twisters based on his letterbox. He loves movies. Danny loves movies. You know who loved Jurassic Park? Ingmar Bergman. People who love movies love movies. Yeah. A Bobcat Goldthwaite has talked about Martin Scorsese coming up to him going, oh, I really

Starting point is 00:56:02 like Shakes the Clown. Like people who like movies like movies, you know? Yeah, that's true. Anyway, so back at the vault, Knox, the captain of the Crimson Lance, you know, briefly, is like, you were right, Roland, and tries to stand with him and immediately gets vaporized by guns from the ship, which was pretty shocking, actually.

Starting point is 00:56:24 Casually said. But also, why is this the moment when she changes sides? Like, what is she learning about her evil boss now? Her evil boss who has a private army that he's been using to try to track down a child to open a vault. Like, what is she learning? I think it's because Atlas is immediately like, I'm just going to kill this kid. I think that's it. But it doesn't seem like that should be the final straw

Starting point is 00:56:48 if she's the head of a private army. The whole time she had been like, let's capture these guys and then at this point he's just like, kill them all. And she's like, wait a minute. That could be it. I'm gonna sign on for that. Lilith comes in, she's like, hey, I'm the daughter of Aridia. We get flashbacks to all the clues, like we need them.

Starting point is 00:57:08 Things like Gina Gershon being like, your mom always told me you were special, which is the dumbest of clues. I mean, people with very dumb children tell me that their kids are special. Exactly. Also, the moment when she teleported everybody to safety, but Tina thought she was the one who teleported everybody to safety, but Tina thought she was the one who teleported everyone to safety. That's a clue.

Starting point is 00:57:30 She agrees to open the vault if Atlas leaves everyone alone. She also tells Tina memories are more powerful than anything Atlas can create, which I don't that just seems like nonsense to me. I don't know how that's true. Nope. Uh, but the act of opening the vaults turns Lilith into a champion. She grows, uh, sort of these like plasma wings, fire wings around her. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:56 She's like, she turns into like a dark Phoenix. Yeah. She's the firehawk now and she's got superpowers and, uh, she's absolutely friends with protective plasma so they can't get hurt until Atlas uses his gun that had previously vaporized the lady to shoot Lilith who of course being the firehawk is not killed by it but it does seem to hurt her. We don't know the level of her powers.

Starting point is 00:58:23 Yeah, it puts all of her support powers into cool down. Here's something something that that it just surprised me this happened because the whole chosen one thing was presented as she's the key to the vault. There was never any mention of superpowers or that the iridians ever had giant rainbow colored flame wings, or the ability to then give people bullet stopping body flames that protect them again Some of this stuff looks great. I think those wings look look the actual wing effects

Starting point is 00:58:52 I liked a lot, but uh yeah, but it is it does come out of nowhere that this is it's not oh, yeah Yeah, by the way the chosen one also is a superhero not just not just like key to this lock at this vault Yeah, it's yeah, it's pretty boring. I don't know about you guys. I think this is pretty boring. I mean it is pretty boring at the same time Yeah, any of this stuff that Hughes closer to the you know, chosen one stuff is Boring like I don't again. I don't know what the game was like, but it feels like some of this is Oh, this is how a movie has to be, stuff that has been laid on top of whatever that was. The climax of movies now with heroes often is not, oh, this is when the hero is pushed

Starting point is 00:59:34 to their biggest challenge and they've gotta go the distance. It is, well, this is the moment when the hero's power unlocks and then they get to just beat the shit out of everybody. Which can sometimes be very cathartic in a certain movie, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like in Sword of Doom. Yeah, like in Sword of Doom, when he's literally damning himself

Starting point is 00:59:52 with his addiction to violence, yeah, very much. As he mows through one attacker after another, yeah, very much. He's become so, that's your stand up and cheer moment. That's his stand up and cheer moment. And then, it's not even like he wins Stuart. His life is now just a never ending battle. He's achieved eternal damnation in a way.

Starting point is 01:00:11 But that it's a, there's a moment in the Iron Giant, which I always feel very cathartic, when the giant finally unleashes and is just walking through troops and blowing up tanks because Hogarth has been hurt and it's pushed him over the edge. But that's not like the end of the movie. The end of the movie is him then making the sacrifice to possibly destroy himself, taking out that missile to save everybody. And it feels like the current, the modern version of that movie, which would just end

Starting point is 01:00:39 with him mowing down the army and Hogarth being like, that's my friend, you know, and that would be the climax. That's what we have here, you know. Rather than him rejecting his violent nature. Yes, or at least doing something difficult, like having to do something that is difficult for him, that may harm him in order to save other people, you know. Anyway, when last we left off Lilith,

Starting point is 01:01:01 she was being buffeted by guns from the ship, which was hurting her a bit, but she manages to take the ship down. She's stronger than ever. Atlas has Tina, makes Lilith take them into the vault where there's a bit of a face off, but not much of anything, honestly. How could there be? Atlas is literally How could there be? Atlas is literally just a dude.

Starting point is 01:01:27 And- Yeah, Atlas is taken away by- Now the Redeemer of Souls, you know? Yeah. He's taken away by a tentacle monster who like, why is he in the vault? I don't know, I don't care. There's a tentacle monster out there too.

Starting point is 01:01:40 It'd be very funny if they were like, oh yeah, the prophecy also mentioned there might be a tentacle monster in the vault. But yeah, it's just a monster, Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so after that they're having a big In the vault, right? It's like some there's some glory stuff. It's a bunch of boxes it seems right? Yeah floating boxes Glowy Tron floor. Yeah, that's I feel like that's the thing Alice at that point is like worth it, baby Yeah

Starting point is 01:02:07 Anyway, as I was saying by then everyone's singing. Yeah, you have no yeah that night Well, I guess that now it's like it's this sort of vague like the balance is back because they have a They've opened the thing the riches are theirs. Like they have a protector You know outsiders aren't gonna be plundering their world or whatever They've opened the thing, the riches are theirs, like they have a protector, you know, outsiders aren't gonna be plundering their world. Why not? Why are outsiders not gonna be plundering their world? All that stuff's still there.

Starting point is 01:02:31 Cause the firebird's back, baby. Why aren't the vault hunters, like the vault hunters on Pandora aren't still going after that stuff? It's like they're celebrating, they're celebrating like. Elliot, shut up, shut up. They won, all right? And the people of Pandora know this? Like they're aware of this personal thing like it's a yeah

Starting point is 01:02:47 I don't know they got a they got an amber alert or whatever Cuz then they're like what does that sound like sounds like peace Let's keep it going and it's like what is peace of what like what yeah I don't know seem like nobody seemed that that like to have that much of an issue with Pandora except Lilith Yeah point so but anyway like the movies ends with like Tina basically being like I Don't know. She's like one owner writer at the end of Beelzeus Do the thing the thing in this case being that like Lilith goes up into the sky with her wings and turns into a big firebird in the

Starting point is 01:03:21 sky and then Credits and we get a brief credits thing that Stuart may or may not have seen where Claptrap is dancing, but the scrolling of the names and the credits pushes him off screen, which was kind of fun, I guess. Like as those things go, it was pretty short. This movie gets a lot of credit for me

Starting point is 01:03:42 for not setting up a sequel. Yeah, well maybe the sequel would be the stuff that you're talking about where Pandora is still under you know attack from very or just it's just full of people who are so the They they they were going for the idea that Pandora is like this lawless chaotic, you know Wasteland, you know, it's this Mad Max type land and then at the end something happens and everyone's like hey Let's get along with each other and I'm like, I don't know. I don't really know what happened I don't understand why yeah the same time. I don't want to watch more of the movie So it's not like I'm saying movie explain this to me

Starting point is 01:04:15 Well, as long as we're in that zone Let's get into final judgments whether this is a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie kind of like I am going to say that it's a bad bad movie, but Roman Mars was right. Doing the show for decades has warped my brain, and on the sliding scale of the stuff we've watched, like this movie is a disaster in a lot of ways, but it's a way that kind of charmed me more than other movies, because you rarely see a big budget movie with big stars that feels this chopped up and slapdash and something really went wrong. Like I said, some of the brightness of it appealed to me.

Starting point is 01:05:03 Some of the really bad effects of it, I was like, yeah, giggling at the way they looked, you know, like there was more fun in this movie to be had than I was led to believe. But I wouldn't, you know, tell anyone to watch it or anything. Yeah, I would say this is a bad, bad movie. It's like it's kind of charming to see a crummy video game adaption by people who don't seem to forget how to make movies and also what makes video games fun. But what I will say is that like compared to something like the fucking what are those

Starting point is 01:05:33 rebel moon movies, which is I feel like the closest equivalent to this that we've seen recently, I would watch a million Borderlands over rebel moons like rebel moons are so like overly serious garbage. and this at least moved relatively quickly. I will join Stuart in damning this with the faintest praise possible which is yes I would rather watch it than the rebel moon movies but it's similar to rebel moon movies to me in that it feels like it makes me it's a bad bad movie to me it makes me sad watching this movie because it feels like, well, this is the kind of movie,

Starting point is 01:06:07 not to sound like Martin Scorsese, you know, that old superhero-hating geezer, you know, but this is the kind of movie that is getting made a lot now where it's like, there's no reason to make it. It's not doing anything fun or interesting. It just kind of fills the plate and hits the checkpoints. And I kind of miss the world we used to live in where a Borderlands movie would get made and it would be a mid to low budget kind of like fly by night movie, just trying to cash in on a name.

Starting point is 01:06:37 Maybe there's one famous British actor in there playing like the king of the Borderlands or something to give it a little bit of cash. Yeah, Brian Blessed. there playing like the king of the borderlands or something to give it a little bit of cash in. Brian blessed. Brian blessed. Yeah. Brian blessed. Or like, or Ralph Richardson or something like that, or, you know, Peter O'Toole.

Starting point is 01:06:51 And it's, and, and then everyone else is just kind of like young, young actors that are trying to catch their break and it's really slapdash and it's made really fast. And as a result, they might stumble into something really fun and something really neat and original and interesting in a way that will stick in a kid's mind when they see it in the middle of the day on HBO or something like that. It's just sad to me that instead the version of Borderlands that we get is kind of like a slapdash, but just kind of like derivative and pull off other things. A lot of people who should be making more interesting stuff are instead kind of slapdash, but just kind of like derivative and pull off other things and a lot of people who should be making

Starting point is 01:07:26 more interesting stuff or instead kind of spending their time on this and You know, it's just kind of like it was hard for me to watch it and not see it as a as an indication of a larger problem with With my beloved movies right now, you know, but that's enough of me on my that's enough of Caitlin's corner So box, you know, it's on enough of me and my, that's enough of Caitlin's Corner Soapbox, you know? So on a score of one to five exploding bunnies, I give it one exploding bunny. Okay.

Starting point is 01:07:53 Well, this podcast, The Flophouse, is made possible in large part by members of the MaxFun community who give every month to help it keep going, but we also have a couple of sponsors. And we want to thank those people, right? Thank you. I want to thank them.

Starting point is 01:08:11 Thank you, members. Dearly, dearly thank them. It may surprise no one to learn that my newsletter doesn't pay the bills. This is your personal newsletter. Yeah. But we also have some sponsors. The first of those is Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. And Squarespace wants to introduce you to something.

Starting point is 01:08:40 It's called Design Intelligence from Squarespace. Combining two decades of industry-leading design expertise with cutting-edge AI technology to unlock your strongest creative potential, design intelligence empowers anyone to build a beautiful, more personalized website tailored to their unique needs, and craft a bespoke digital identity to use across one's entire online presence. I've thought many times to myself, my online presence not bespoke enough.

Starting point is 01:09:10 Could we bespeak this a bit more? Well, Squarespace will help you. So why not go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you are ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey guys, do you ever notice how the days are getting shorter, but your to-do list isn't? Well, from breakfast to dinner, Factor provides easy to make options that are ready in two minutes or less. You can choose from six menu preferences

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Starting point is 01:10:12 Let Factor take shopping, prepping, cooking and cleaning up out of your daily list of things to do. I don't know about you guys, but I end up having to run into the bar a lot during the day and I don't have a lot of time to always get lunch stuff prepared So it's nice to have a factor to provide me easy to make options that I can take with me on the go If you're like me head to factor meals comm slash 50 flop and use code 50 flop to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping.

Starting point is 01:10:47 That's code 50flop at factormeals.com slash 50flop to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping while your subscription is active. Hey everybody, we also have some live shows coming up. Well, one live show coming up and then other kind of live on your computer shows. We are going to be appearing in person. That's right, we're appearing in person on Sunday, January 19th at Cobb's Comedy Club as part of the San Francisco SketchFest. We're going back to San Francisco. That's right, to the SketchFest. We're going to be doing an all new show and we're going to be talking about one of the

Starting point is 01:11:25 biggest flops in film history. Dan, what's that flop we're talking about? It's called Cutthroat Island. It's all about pirates. It's all about pirates. Remember how pirates are really big after Pirates of the Caribbean? There was a movie before that that did not have that effect on the American popular culture. The opposite, in fact.

Starting point is 01:11:44 Yes. So go to sfsketchfest.com, where you'll find the schedule, and I think there's some tickets still available. That's San Francisco Sketch Fest, Sunday, January 19th, 7 p.m. at Cobb's Comedy Club. 7 p.m. Pacific Time, of course, because it's in San Francisco. Don't show up at 4 p.m., thinking it's 7 p.m. Eastern.

Starting point is 01:12:03 And we're gonna try to do some more. You might wanna get in line, right? You wanna get in line at 4 p.m. thinking it's 7 p.m. Eastern and we're gonna You might want to get in line right you want to get a line at 4 p.m. So yeah show off your cosplay and all that stuff Yeah show off which one of us you're dressed up as or one of the cutthroats perhaps and you're gonna and you're gonna tailgate right you're gonna tailgate you're gonna cook out of hibachi right there on the street in San Francisco and we will hopefully do more live shows this year, but we don't have any others lined up at the moment.

Starting point is 01:12:27 So this is your chance, if you are in the Bay Area, to see us live Sunday, January 19th. Go to sfsketchfest.com. If you are not in the Bay Area, and you want to, or maybe you're in a different Bay Area, like Green Bay. That's a different Bay with a different area. Maybe just like Old Bay. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:12:44 Maybe you just like Old Bay. Well, Mm-hmm. Maybe you just like Old Bay. Yeah, that could be it. Well, anyway, what I'm getting at is... That's what I call Dan. Dan's my Old Bay. We are also still doing Flop TV, as you may have heard at the top of this show. Flop TV season two continues. There's two more episodes left.

Starting point is 01:12:59 That's our one-hour televised version of the Flophouse, the first Saturday of every month. That's at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific, the first Saturday in January and February. Every episode this season is about a sequel. And this next episode on January 4th, we're going to be talking ski school to, Oh, we're getting into this. Yeah. Finally a good movie. We'll be talking ski school to there's going to be a presentation. There's going to be video components of some kind. We've been having a lot of fun with this season I think people have been really enjoying it the videos have been driving us a little mad As you may have seen from the last couple just a sense into insanity. I can't can't guarantee

Starting point is 01:13:35 I'm doing the one for January 4th can't guarantee It's gonna be quite as bizarre as Stuart and Dan's Recent ones have been can't make it to the show at that time January 4th at 9 p.m. Eastern 6 p.m. Pacific and once I've been can't make it to the show at that time, January 4th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific. That's okay. Your ticket gets you access to the video recording of the show through the end of February. All videos will stay up to the end of February

Starting point is 01:13:52 when they will come down and go back to the Flophouse Vault to be found by a vault hunter thousands of years from now. Who's the chosen one, a child of Dan Rydia. And so you might, you want to get a ticket or you might also want to get a season pass. A season passes six episodes for the price of five. And again it gets you access to all the videos for all the episodes.

Starting point is 01:14:11 Why not? Why not just binge it? Just binge the whole season when it's all over. Why not? We can't stop you. So that's flop TV season two next episode January 4th. And for tickets go to the flop house dot simple ticks dot com. I also want to mention one of my own things guys Can I mention one my own? Okay?

Starting point is 01:14:29 I'm still writing the Harley Quinn comic series for DC Comics. So that's coming out once a month I check your local comic book stores Harley Quinn from DC Comics I Pre-ordered the eventual collection because I'm not I'm not one these days to keep up on individual issues, unfortunately, but I do want to read this. I understand. As long as you're paying money for it, that's all I care about. How sweet.

Starting point is 01:14:53 What a sweet sentiment. Oh my gosh, hi. It's me, Dave Holmes, host of Troubled Waters, the pop culture battle to the ego death. Okay, everybody, word association with Troubled Waters, first one to fumble loses, go. Comedy. Panel show. Guests.

Starting point is 01:15:17 Celebrities. Games. Oh, sound rounds. Improvised speeches. Puns disguised as trivia. A very niche Flash Gordon clip. Jabel Rowan. Ah no, Riley, I'm sorry, she will not return our phone calls.

Starting point is 01:15:30 I am afraid you're out. A girl can dream. Oh, but dreaming will not earn a girl any points. Troubled Waters. Listen on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Yucky Jessica. I'm Chuck Crudsworth. And this is...

Starting point is 01:15:49 Terrible! A podcast where we talk about things we hate that are awful! Today we're discussing Wonderful, a podcast on the Maximum Fun Network. Hosts Rachel and Griff and McElroy, a real-life married couple. Yuck! Discuss a wide range of topics. Music, video games, poetry, snacks. But I hate all that stuff.

Starting point is 01:16:11 I know you do, yucky Jessica. It comes out every Wednesday, the worst day of the week, wherever you download your podcasts. For our next topic, we're talking Fiona, the baby hippo from the Cincinnati Zoo. I hate this little hippo Let's move on to some letters from listeners. This first one is from James last name withheld James Hadfield. Yeah, who writes Hey peaches long time listener first time writer shamelessly attempting to appeal to Elliot's special interest

Starting point is 01:16:42 This is at least half a brag, but I sometimes appear in my friends' pornographic videos. What? On a recent occasion, we shot a scene in a hotel room, and I left on the bedside table the paperback copy that I was currently reading of Robert Caro's masterpiece biography of Robert Moses, The Power Broker.

Starting point is 01:17:02 Meaning that it was- What a funny thing to bring to a porn video shoot. It was visible in a large number of shots and once I realized that, it was hard to focus on anything else while watching the video. Sidebar, I could tell that Elliot was like, what is he saying that porn is my special interest? Yeah, that's not my thing.

Starting point is 01:17:19 No, we're getting on to, of course, the power broker, the porn of books. Man, this is so great that there is this porn that I can just send to Elliot as a Christmas gift that's perfect for the holidays. Track it down. So my question, since I don't think you're a crypto- I just hope it doesn't get pulled off of YouTube as a copyright infringement thing. Yeah, that's where post porn lives.

Starting point is 01:17:41 I don't know, guys. I don't know where porn is. So my question, since I don't think you're equipped to answer am I the first person to put the power broker in a porn video, but I am curious about that as well, is has there ever been a prop? You know who's the only person who'd be able to do the research for that? Who?

Starting point is 01:17:58 Robert Caro. It's true. Yeah. He has the tenacity. Has there ever been a prop or piece of set dressing in a movie that drew your attention totally away from the things you're supposed to be paying attention to by its specificity? I'm not talking about, that's a Pokemon toy in the medieval setting or anything that belongs in IMDB's goof section.

Starting point is 01:18:21 I mean things that could validly be in the place they're shot, but that nevertheless distract you personally. Thanks, James Lastname withheld. And I gotta admit, I put this in thinking it was a great email. I don't necessarily have a great answer to it, because I know that this has happened to me. I know that I'm distracted by something like, oh, I've got that thing. But I can't think. I mean, it's not the same thing as, uh, it being so specific or weird, but I remember watching madman and being like, those are the exact same rocks glass as I have, look at it, Don Draper's drinking out of the same glass as me. You're like, I'm like Don Draper. I'm like, I should be called Dan Draper.

Starting point is 01:19:05 It should be called Don Draper. I'm like yeah, should we call Dan Draper? It should be called Dan Draper I I don't know if this fits into the goofs thing because I the one the thing that came to mind for me was I mean partly it's whenever you see whenever I see a movie that's shot in a place that I know We're like if I see a movie that's shot in Park Slope in Brooklyn It's like it distracts me because I'm just thinking about my memories of that of that neighborhood where I live for so long. But the in the movie 40 year old Virgin he's supposed to be like a big comic book nerd or something and he has framed comic books on the wall and the one the comic books they chose are unless he worked on those comics there is no

Starting point is 01:19:38 reason to frame them they're just kind of random books that somebody put in a frame and then slapped on the wall and that did really distract me because I was like why is he like why is that the book he chose to frame and put on the wall? It's just some random thing. Are they autographed, maybe? Maybe they're autographed. I mean, that's it. I mean, he never gets close enough to them.

Starting point is 01:19:55 I guess I'll have to check the DVD special features to see if they're original. Maybe there's a deleted scene where he is doing close-ups and taking them out to like Antiques Roadshow or some shit. Yeah. I would say, I don't know if there's the same thing, but I'm very distracted any time I see like a glass brick wall in a movie, like ideally in a bathroom or something, because that's just the coolest thing in the world. It's just the height of class, yeah.

Starting point is 01:20:20 Oh yeah. There is also a scene, I recently watched the movie Thelma and there's a scene where Parker Posey is riding in the passenger seat of a car and she is wearing a pair of sunglasses over her normal glasses and she is wearing them in such a way that I'm like, this is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm like.

Starting point is 01:20:41 Sure, I can't remember, I may have said this on the podcast before, but my online bad movie watching crew, they will shout out GBA on the chat, Glass Brick Alert, whenever one shows up, one of those wall shows up in the movie. Particularly low budget movies, there's a lot of glass brick walls that show up. I mean, I was watching the, there's this old thriller with James Spader and Rob Lowe called Bad Influence, where James Spader plays like a buttoned up guy

Starting point is 01:21:13 who meets like a bad influence in a bar and he goes to a downward spiral. It is so funny that at that point in time it felt like it made sense for James Spader to be the button up innocent guy, Rob Lowe to be the bad influence And James Spader's apartment is in LA and it's like it's like everything is class brick walls. It's crazy there's also a scene where he goes to they go to like a club with like

Starting point is 01:21:37 Performers dancing on everyone's table and they're like playing skinny puppy or some shit. It's pretty crazy movie guys It's a I believe that's an early Curtis Hansen movie. That's your you believe correct Yeah, this next letter is from Rob last name withheld Rob Lowe. Have you guys seen my movie bad influence? I was trying to be the normal guy. They're like nope. Nope be the weirdo We're not weird. You're right. You know that bad guy the bad guy and they're like, nope. Nope, be the weirdo. Well, not weirdo, the bad guy, the bad guy, yeah. High peaches. I was relisting to episode 374, Firestarter, 2022, and another listener, Matthew,

Starting point is 01:22:16 mixed a song from a mini episode called Flophouse the Movie. I was only half listening, so instead of hearing Palm Trees, Jet Ski's, I heard Palm Trees, Skeksis, a la the Dark Crystal. Thank you for clear- It made me think of the- As opposed to the Skeksis in Kramer versus Kramer, yeah. Skeksis versus Ketsis. It made me think of them soaking up the sun in California and then also maybe

Starting point is 01:22:45 riding jet skis. This then immediately led my imagination to think of you guys talking about Freddie and Jason vacationing on Fire Island. I'm just imagining someone going, are those jet skis over there? Mmmmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got to be like poker or something, right? Do you think they made a lot of those noises for the same reason that like anime has a lot of those noises? Because you know Dark Crystal originally was not supposed to be in English. Like Henson was like, we'll have it all in fantasy language.

Starting point is 01:23:16 And then they saw it coming like, no, no, Jim, you can't do it like this. So maybe there's extra noises because they have to like match the lip flap. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe, I don't know, possible. Oh, maybe. It feels a little bit more natural than it does sometimes in anime where they're like, what did you say, we have to go over there

Starting point is 01:23:33 and then we have to do this, huh? You know, like that's the. Yeah, yeah. This then immediately led my imagination to think of you guys talking about Freddy and Jason, Vacation and Fire Island with Pennywise and the Babadook. I couldn't stop laughing laughing myself on the train.

Starting point is 01:23:47 My question, where do you think famous movie monsters and villains would like to get some R&R? Love the show, Rob Lasting withheld. I mean, I feel like they're always going to New Yorker space, right? You think those are tourist destinations? Yeah, I guess they turn into work trips, right? Yeah, that's the problem. It's hard to get away from it.

Starting point is 01:24:07 Like, the jigsaw says that he wants to just get away and not have to do the work and make decisions, but once he goes on vacation, he just can't help himself. He doesn't know how to relax anymore. Luckily, there's a whole hotel just for monsters. It's in Transylvania. And they apparently also then go on a cruise together, even though that seems like a bad place for many monsters to be.

Starting point is 01:24:29 Yeah, that's true. A lot of sun, you know. What about the creature from the Black Lagoon? That feels perfect, right? Yeah, for him, sure. The whole vampire family that's involved there, though, maybe not so much. And I'm sure some of those monsters

Starting point is 01:24:44 have trouble being around running water You know to be surrounded by the ocean is probably not great Yeah, they can't cross it, but maybe Yeah, it's tough. I mean like then how do they get on with the gangplank like you got across some water there, right? I mean, maybe they just we should watch last voyage of the demeanor. Maybe that'll yeah Does not answer the questions that we're asking. Anyway, that's what we call the letter segment. Let's move on to recommendations.

Starting point is 01:25:14 Recommendations, of course, movies that might be a better use of your time. Than Borderlands? Than Borderlands. You know what, I was like looking at my... Oh, you know what? I want to recommend a movie called Drive from 1997. Not the Nicholas Winning Refn Drive, but from 97, there was a movie called Drive

Starting point is 01:25:41 that starred... Let me... I'm going to... I got to check on the main guy. Is it License to Drive? Is that the movie? No, it's just. Does it drive my car?

Starting point is 01:25:50 No, it's just Drive. The lead is Mark Dacascos. Hell yeah. Dacascos. Yep. You may have seen him most recently in John Wick 3, probably, as the bad guy. Or the kind of like nice bad guy. He also plays Manny in...

Starting point is 01:26:15 Mark Dacascos plays Manny in Brotherhood of the Wolf, right? Yes, he's in Brotherhood of the Wolf. It also has Khadim Hardison who I of of course think of as Duane Wayne from A Different World, but is always sort of charming when he shows up. Never had the career that I think he probably could have had if he was a little more fortunate, but it's a buddy comedy. One year before Rush Hour, you got this black guy in LA teaming up with a martial arts master to fight some baddies. And it's just a lot of fun.

Starting point is 01:26:50 It is a fun action comedy, very silly, didn't get a lot of attention because it was released straight to HBO. It was produced, directed video. Brittany Murphy also shows up for a little while to remind us about how sad it is that she's not around anymore because she does a great job. It's just like a fun, silly action comedy of a kind that I'm like, oh, sometimes I feel like I've seen all of the good stuff in that vein, the really popcorn-y fun shit from the past and it's nice to know like there's still stuff out there

Starting point is 01:27:25 to find that is maybe a little more under the radar. So I would look it up. It is like so many things on Tubi's. So you can find it. Oh yeah. I'm going to recommend a movie that I saw with Dan McCoy as a matinee the day before Thanksgiving, which shows how long it's been since we've recorded one of these full episodes. I'm recommending one of my favorite movies of the year, Luca Guadagnino's Queer, starring Mr. Daniel Craig. You might know him as Jimmy Bond.

Starting point is 01:27:57 And yeah. I don't. This is an adaptation of a Burroughs, a short Burroughs novel, and I'm not familiar with the source material. Yeah, that's what I meant. Yes, that's right. That's what I meant.

Starting point is 01:28:14 The pulp novel. Yeah. But yeah, it's a... It's like I found it to be a really... In a year when Guadagnino also made or had challengers released, it's so great to see him kind of falling back kind of into his like sweet spot of this like

Starting point is 01:28:33 kind of smaller story that is filled with characters that have like intense longing and a desire for connection and like all these great little like physical and like character moments. But it also like this one is also like, like less immediately satisfying than something like challengers. I just found to be a really beautiful movie that's really well acted and really interesting. What do you think, Dan?

Starting point is 01:29:02 I liked it a lot. It's a yeah, Jason Schwartzman is also very fun. He is supporting part. Yeah, he provides this like weird sort of grounding of like a more normal guy, but still silly. Like, he's still a funny, like weird guy in his own way. But he's, he also provides a lot of warmth in a supporting part. Yeah, it's a it provides a lot of warmth in a supporting part Yeah, it's a it's a very

Starting point is 01:29:35 Interesting movie in that like it doesn't have a lot of plot thrust, but I found myself really engaged by Just the main characters sort of desperate need for connection. So check it out. It's queer. Yeah, I Was gonna recommend something similar. It's also about the need for connection between between people who are otherwise lonely. This is the new Wallace and Gromit movie, which I took my kids to see a screening of yesterday. It's called Wallace and Gromit Vengeance Most Foul. And it was I'm a big fan of those those their stuff and those movies. The last one that they had done a matter of love and death, which was years ago, I was not such a fan of those their stuff and those movies. The last one that they had done, A Matter of Love and Death, which was years ago I was not such a fan of. It seemed like it didn't quite have it. But this one I found it was just super fun

Starting point is 01:30:12 and super funny and had a lot of that waltz and grommet, Aardman, Nick Park inventiveness that is the hallmark of the series. And it moves fast and doesn't get weighed down and just got like lots of fun sequences in it and the animation looks great and it was great seeing those characters again. So if you want to see something that is going to be fun, then want to check out Wallace and Gromit Vengeance Most Foul when it's available.

Starting point is 01:30:39 I've been looking forward to that one. I want to see it. I really enjoyed it a lot. There are a number of sequences in it where I'm like, oh yeah, this is this is top walls and grommet stuff, you know, that's that's three recommendations. I'm pretty excited about Hey, this is this has been the flop house. That's how we end it. Right? This has been the flop house It's been a while. We've actually been recording one of these things. Yeah We started the show and identified what what this show is Yeah, I like to reset right at the end. What was I listening to?

Starting point is 01:31:07 Oh yeah, the Flophouse. The Flophouse is on the Maximum Fun Network. If you go to MaximumFun.org, you can find other great podcasts on the network about all kinds of different stuff. I'm sure if you like this, you might find another one there that you like as well. Why don't you check it out? Our producer is Alex Smith. He does a great job for us. Happy holidays holidays Alex. Thank you so much You can find him online as how old Dottie

Starting point is 01:31:46 Which is the name under which he makes a lot of music. He does some twitch streams check check his stuff out. And I guess that's it for the Flophouse. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kalin. Okay. See ya. Bye. Deuces. What? On this episode we discuss Borderlands.

Starting point is 01:32:14 Sort of an unconventional remake of the movie Badlands. Let's retake that only because I think you said the word a little weird, unconventional. I did. Yeah. It was an unconventional way of saying unconventional. Yeah. Maximum fun. A worker-owned network.

Starting point is 01:32:34 Of artist-owned shows. Supported. Directly. By you.

The Flop House - Ep. #440 - Borderlands

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