The Flop House - Ep.#232 - A Dog's Purpose

Episode Date: May 27, 2017

We watch the dog grief porn A Dog's Purpose. Meanwhile Dan gets to the bottom of a Lassie mystery, Stuart gives us a hall pass, and Elliott masturbates to rhymes. Apologies for the audio that makes it sound like Stuart is in the other room. We have no idea how that happened. Wikipedia synopsis for A Dog's Purpose Movies recommended in this episode: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Hounds of Love 20th Century Women LIVE SHOW ALERT! We added another show on June 9 at The Bell House at 10:00 pm! Tickets HERE. Also, we'll be at the PHILLY PODCAST FESTIVAL on July 16th at 8:30 pm!

On this episode we discuss a dog's purpose. The movie inspired by Sean Connery's famous line, You're the Man Now Dog. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flop House, I'm Dan McCoy. Heyo, I'm Stuart the Dog Catcher, Wellington. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh! Hey, oh, I'm Stuart the dog catcher willing to what up? What up? What up? What up? It's me downtown Elliott Kaelin coming at you from uptown.

Oh, wow. It's been a lot of sass. A lot of in your face attitude. Hey, let's just say my sass arrived in the mail. COD. Uh-huh. The sass press. Wait, so wait, you had to pay the postman.

We delivered the sass. Yeah. Because I didn't have enough upfront. Wait, so wait, you had to pay the postman, we delivered the sass? Yeah, because I didn't have enough upfront to when I ordered it. But this sass is good stuff. Okay. Oh, no, sass running out, no, I lost one. The sentence is the start without having a finish, Ed. I lost my magic sass feather halfway through that sentence.

Damn, tell me, tell me I don't need the feather was inside me all along. Um, I can't do it. I can't lie to you. No, it was the feather. I knew it. Have you ever had some sass inside you? No.

Would you like some? I don't know how that... Hold on, this feather I made. Feather you made? Are you a bird? Just sprouted out of my wings. They make the feathers. They do.

They grow out of them. Okay, I guess that's it. Do you think they buy them from a store? They're an artisanal feather smith? Maybe. Buy them from a Fletcher. Yeah. Yeah, Jessica Fletcher, from Mershie wrote, so called because she makes arrows.

I don't know. Like the TV show Arrow, executive bruised by Jessica Fletcher. Mm-hmm. And Fletcher, the private eye, who knows how to party and look like one of the LA Lakers. And we know how to commit credit card fraud. That's what I learned from looking at the back of the VHS cassette box. Now it's flesh dead.

No, no, you'll be happy to learn that Fletch lives. Okay. I have to report on that. I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going I mean that's I mean the porn version is felt good. Okay. There you go That's better and the Jewish version would be flesh So what do we do on this here podcast Dan? Well Throwing to himself Real Jamie main drugs in here. We watch bad movie. We got a regular split on our hands And then we talk about it and tonight watch a we watched a little movie called A Dog's Purpose about a dog who owns a dog.

No, you're thinking of Zeus and Roxanne. Oh, okay. Wait, which one is Zeus and which one was Roxanne? Zeus, well Roxanne was starring Steve Martin and Zeus was the king of the Greek gods. Yeah. Although he was also the villain in No Holds Bard, I believe, the Hulk Hogan film.

And then he... Even that Hercules movie. No film. And then you know, the Hercules movie. No, the villain was Hades in Hercules movie. I mean, which Hercules movie? The Hercules movie. The Hercules man or Hercules move. Well, the movie was called Hercules. Yeah, I guess you're right. Which one was James Woods?

James Woods was Hades in Strait Talk, which one was James Woods? Dolly Pardon. He's an amazingon. Wow. He's an amazing actor. Yeah. So, so enough of that. True West, they switch roles every night.

True Woods, the only play where James Woods plays both of the parts in True West, both brothers. And weirdly, both super conservative now. We thought it. His version of True West, they agree with each other the whole time. Yeah. So what are we, what are we doing in this podcast?

No, no, we did that part already. Well, I missed it. We walk about a movie and then we sneak about it. Yeah, we snuck about a movie and then we bulk about it. And this movie was called Dog's Purpose. And it was about a dog and his purpose. And the dog. Well, Dan, you kind of did some of the whole movie just then,

but Stuart, you're gonna say. I know that I suggested we watch this movie, and in doing so, I opened the floodgates. You opened the floodgates. I opened the floodgates to more, who let the dogs out style jokes that I had put a ban on on this podcast after we watched Marma Duke.

I don't remember that ban, but I'll allow it. So you're saying like none of this, like, oh, the flop house has gone to the dog. I'm giving you guys a whole pass today. Oh, oh boy. Let's get nasty and talk about a dog's purpose. We're gonna talk about this movie, Doggy Style. That's exactly what I was talking about.

We all got boned by a dog's purpose. We're gonna be raw dog in it tonight. Okay, go out our condom. You got a love it or hate it, you can't be neutered about this movie. Oh, that almost is a pun. Hey, it's a hairy situation. All right, there you go. A dog on catastrophe in this episode is off the leash.

Was this episode a howl? No, it was not. We, it was done with these, could we get a real episode? Speaking of how, you know, I saw the best minds of my generation ruined by the rest of the poem that I don't remember.

Let's just say television. What? Run by television? That's what you think Gensberg was getting at. He certainly wasn't pro television down. I have to assume. I guess, right. Well, I've got the ghost of Gensberg here

to talk about it right now. Oh, well, tell me about a ghost of Gensberg. Well, man, it's all about... Never heard a ghost snap his fingers. What's going on inside your mind? What's going on inside my mind? Well, what's going on inside your mind to ghost Gensberg?

Or is it just like go go go Gensberg? Must like see biscuit, the world's most popular horse. I gotta go. Oh, Dan throwing to the least popular, no, that's not true. People love see biscuit this get the popular voice who always has to go. Mm-hmm.

I helped America through the Great Depression or something. Gotta go. I'm here. Who the dog is. It's like that, horses. Did you was summoned by the ghost of all the dogs that died in this, oh, there's so many dogs who died in this movie?

Let's say one thing going into it. There's a lot. No one dog died a lot. There's a controversy about this movie that maybe they had mistreated dogs while filming. We can't speak to that. We don't know. The Humane Society looked into it and said that that things were

okay. We can't say for sure. We're just judging this movie. That's possible. Yeah. Peola or as it's also called Puchola when a dog is involved. Now, we can't judge that. Who is from turning a hooch is involved?

Huchola. Yeah. I just rhymes hooch is involved. Hoochola? I just rhymes with Hoochola, I don't know. Yeah, let's know it's a double pun. Yeah, take it one more step removed, huh? Scoochola, that's when you got a scooch over. For money. No, a cockney rhyming slang came from above. Yeah, turner and hooch.

I mean, animator. So we're just gonna judge this movie on the quality of the film itself. We're going to look to the text and not look outside the text. So for any, I apologize ahead of time if we don't cover that scandal and we don't express proper outrage for it, we're just talking about the movie itself, which is, Dan, you loved it. Uh-huh.

It talks purpose. What am I supposed to say about it? Okay. So the movie poster, we got the face of a dog on it. You know what you're getting when you slap this movie into your VCR, you got a dog movie. Now here's the thing, the poster is the face of a dog. So I was like, oh, it's like those Judd Apatow movies

reminds me of the 40 year old virgin poster. So this is just gonna be about a dog who's never had sex and is desperately trying to lose it, but he can't because why couldn't Steve Cerel have sex and then movie did a witch put a hex on it? He seems like a regular Joe. Wait, which movie? 40 the other movie where Steve curls an adult who's never had sex Dan what was that get smart little miss sunshine in real life? Dan looking for a friend for the end of the world

He's up and on mighty and real life always has serp smeared all over his face. No one's gonna answer that Serup syrup syrup syrup syrup like he could have a date with like a fly woman mm-hmm they love syrup meaning it'll get her in the sack faster and by sack i mean like you know bagged for catching flies i assume that this movie was going to be something like fluke or oh heavenly dog where a man is killed he comes back as a dog and he needs to solve the murder as a dog

like that uh what's the what's the Gary Bucy one where that happens? There's more movies like that. There's the there's the Gary Bucy movie where he dies and comes it's very low budget and uh... Cardiff Armstrong is in it too I think it's not point break. I've exhausted my Gary Bucy movie. Okay then never mind forget it. So this movie, it's about, hey, what's the purpose of life? By life, I mean, life is a dog. My life is a dog because it's directed by Lulessy Howlstrom, don't know his pronounce his name, who also directed my life as a dog,

returning to the successful world of dogs. I'm not doing any jokes about how his name looks like. It's pronounced Lassy Howlstrom, and there's a famous dog. I don't know if you guys heard of the dog. It's called Lassie. No, what does he do? First I've heard of it.

Or she? I believe Tricks a little boy into falling into a well. Oh, no. Oh, what for the insurance money? No, mainly to prove that she can because then she gets the adults to go left at the bulls. Left at the bulls.

What if Lassie was like an ace in the whole type thing but instead of Kirk Douglas, it was a dog? Now, the common joke about Lassie is that Timmy's in the well. Now, I just wonder how many times in Lassie did Timmy actually fall for Lassie? Oh, never. It was always Lassie getting Timmy. Yeah.

And Tim would say, what's that girl? There's a mountain lion on the loose. Or something like, what's that girl? They've killed Archduke Ferdinand. No, no. What's that girl? Timmy was did not keep that world war from happening. What's that girl? Tell me he did not keep that World War from happening. What's that girl?

He's a foreigner, he's a media lady. No, no, no, that's why he was telling him so that he could, so that he could marshal his forces on the Belgian border. Yeah. What's that girl? Flynn was working for the Turks, even while he was national security adviser.

What's that girl? Mick Ribbis back. What's that girl? You'rebis back? Okay. Okay. What's that girl? You're a boy. I'm so sorry. But hey, it's not an insult. Come on, be open-minded.

Yeah, exactly. So this movie is literally, it is from lovers of dogs and haters of dogs. Because if you want to see a dog run around to be cute and then die, you get to see that five times in this movie. It's released, right? Yeah. He's right, yeah. Now, like, the fucking bodies are stacked like cordwood by the end of this thing.

Okay, I've heard this thing about bodies being stacked like cordwood. What is it about cordwood that makes it so stackable? Do you ever describe something good stacked like cordwood? You never say like, oh, those grand crackers are stacked like cordwood. Yeah, yeah. Those dollars, those gold Krugerrands are stacked like gold, gold, gold. To think of something amazing that could be stacked, you went directly to grandcrackers. The best thing that you could think of. I like grandcrackers.

They're very stackable because they're fl- sorry, you never say those pancakes are stacked by cordwars. Is that the acceptable thing to stack snowflake? Did I offend you by saying you could stack grandbrothers? Is it another day in real life reference? Oh, is it? Cause it's not a, it's a stereotype that all people named Dan put their head on pancakes. I think that was the original tagline for Dan in real life. The pancakes are stacked like

corduroy. The original tagline for Dan in real life was how crazy is this guy with his pancake pillow? He's so tired he's going to sleep in his pancakes. Pancake pillow boy. And it was originally based on the play of the Pillow Man. It was called the pancake pillow man. And the entire subplot about a bunch of child abductions was removed for the film.

Much like how the play, the diary of Anne Frank, was eventually made into the movie, then it like Beckham. Wow. Yeah. Oh, the sexiest time boy being pulled on the planet, lose interpretation. Very loose. Anyway, this movie, a dog's purpose, let's get to the facts. So we open with a shot in the womb. Now, the movie is broken up by these very like swirly light like your underwater. If anyone has ever gone to a movie theater and seen one of those programs of like

the Oscar nominated shorts, the like in between each of the movies there's like a swirly animation and it says like Academy Award nominated short and then a title and the director. That's what these look like to me. Those transitions. Yeah, you're in the ether. Exactly. Yeah you're just in mind space you're

just a concept. You're puffing ether. I mean it's one way to get through the movie. Yeah. Then a dog is born he says ever since I was a pup I wonder what life was like and this is the voice of Josh Gad just just talking about it. Guys I don't want to show my hand too much right now. Uh huh. While your hands look great you can be a hand model. Thank you, Elliot. Do you think my nails are long enough? Oh, I think they're the perfect length.

They're long enough? They're long. Yeah, damn. They're the key to being a hand model. One of three. All right. Skin color and complexion. Now color, not because they want to erase this here, but because.

Okay, yeah. Let's just face it, certain markets like different colored hands. For instance, for gloves, doesn't matter. The glove is covering the hand. But if your marketing say, I don't know, stuff that's just for white people, white hands are better. Sure, okay. Sure, white stuff.

You want your hands to be blue like Yondu. Exactly. If you're marketing something that's for T-Rexes, like say like a pancake mix for T-Rexes, you want little stubby hands with just two fingers, like a T-Rex or maybe claws. You managed to navigate your way through that without being two racist. It was still a little racist. I don't know what kind of thing would only be for white people that's being advertised. I guess like pink band-aids? Yeah, sure. Flesh-colored crayons in the old crayons where they were racist about what flesh-colored

mint. I prefer that I to believe that they just meant the flesh that was underneath your skin when you peeled off those top few layers and it's just like muscle underneath. Is that still flesh? Okay. So you're saying that crayolos owned by Clive Barker or something like that? Yeah, yeah, there are psychopathic monsters. Oh, sure.

Look, crayolos either run by racist or psychopaths. So let's just say that right now. Let's stipulate that. I mean, golden rod, what is that? Come at us, Crayola. Oh, deal with it. I think Crayon is gonna come down on us like a hammer. Crayola rhymes with Payola with it rhymes with Puchola.

Follow the month. A dog's purpose. You know, one day we're gonna do an episode of this show where we never get to the movie and I'll be so happy. I mean, this might be the line. I don't know, a dog's purpose. We're in the womb. I didn't even say, show my hands here, guys.

Yeah, so what were you talking about? When I got racist for a moment. I know we don't like to play like Backsy Driver on these movies and talk about how they would have been better. I know we don't like to play like Baxi Driver on these movies and talk about how they would have been better. Yes we do. But the dog's brain voice is done in this movie by Josh Gad.

You may know him as Olaf from Frozen. And other stuff, right? He was in the comedians with Billy Crystal. Oh, yeah. He was on the daily show for a little bit. What an... He was in there. He didn't come to fame on Broadway with that.

Oh, Book of Mormon he was in. Yeah. He was in Italy once when I was eating there and I saw him at another table. And I didn't come say hi to him. Oh, the Zyndi B. Probi. Because I didn't know if he would remember me from the daily show and then the next time I ran into him,

he was like, why didn't you say hi to me at Italy? And I was a little embarrassed. But then I was like, it takes two to Tango, dude. Come on. So he does a fine job, but he does whatever he can with the audience. He does fine. I believe he was the inner voice of a dog.

If the narration was done by Vroomerzog. Well, I mean, that's not fair to Josh Gav, because anything would be better with narration if I ever heard Saga. Like, there's not a lot of celebrities I want to hear describing my sex while I'm having it, but if it was my herdsog it would be pretty funny. I can't think of anything though that would be as like philosophically opposed to burner herdsog than a dog's purpose. Since it

actively overtly posits a purpose for life. Yes. The purpose for life it celebrates nature. It's over at least sentimental. And implies that animals have a sort of human or emotional intelligence. Yeah. The purpose of nature is to bring two, two olds together and some love and don't spoil it. Okay, so a dog is born. The dog is like, I wonder what the purpose of my life was. I had a lot of fun playing. Was that what? What immediately runs away and gets caught by the fucking dog catcher?

Oh, the dog catcher shows up and finds a herd of, or pack a five young dogs takes one, euthanizes it. Rose it in the first dog death of the movie. Yeah. Like two minutes into the film. Then the dog comes back and now he's a different dog and he gets a... Really a different breed.

Yeah, different, he's a different breed in every time. In like a fucking cardboard box or something. Like I feel like that cardboard box is some kind of magical chamber that burns the dog. So you're saying it's not that the dog is being reincarnated. It's that this magic chamber is reviving him in a different form each time.

Exactly. And his soul returns to it. It's like a, what was that Jake Jones home movie where he has to run to that simulation source code yeah, you know the movie that didn't quite work after the second act because they broke a lot of the rules They set up. Yeah, but it was pretty fun though. It was fine. It was fine. It's a lot of performance from Jeffrey Wright. Oh sure I mean everybody in it was solid as a rock Including the rock he was good. Yeah, he played the credits

They just painted them on his chest. So anyway, he gets captured by a dog breeder, I guess. Yeah. But then he escapes, and he's found by a little boy named Ethan. After almost dehydrating inside a closed car. Yeah. Only those guys had put a sign on the window that said he was in there with his favorite music and whatever, something cool to drink.

There's like original party animal. Do not bother. The little boy finds the dog and his mother is enamored to the dog also, but they have to convince the boy's dad who's a little bit of a grumpy grandpa. Although he's not a grandpa, he's a dad. I want to jump in here and say that the movie has already set the stakes right away. We see a dog, a baby dog, it captured and then he's the nice, the media. It's like a fucking horror movie. So we know what could happen.

So the fact that in his next life, he, like, it looks like he's going to die, and die at that point, I'm like, dog number two is done. Well, you're always worried about him because you know the movie's willing to go there. Yeah, they don't give a fuck. No, they'll show you a dog dying in a movie for dog lovers about dogs. Like, yeah.

The dog is the movie is the waiter who walks up to my table without breaking eye contact, just pushes my plate of fluid onto the floor. I don't know. Where are you eating? I don't know, Applebee's. I don't know whether it was as early as the second dog death or maybe the third dog death might turn to Elliot and I'm like, who, what monsters is movie four? There's a third dog death.

Like people who want to watch a dog die over and over. Well, here's the thing. Dog lovers love the sadness of a dead dog. Like people who want to watch a dog die over and over. Well, here's the thing. Dog lovers love the sadness of a dead dog. Can you think about a movie about a dog? Can you think about a movie about a dog that didn't at some point either kill the dog or tease the idea that the dog would die?

Think about it. There's that dog, there's what, that Marley and me, old Yeller, turnerller, Turner and Hooch. Like, I think, K9, when you try to die, and escape the terror of Jim Belichick. Only to be reincarnated as Jim Belichick. So I'm gonna try to commit suicide.

Yeah. So many dogs committed suicide on the set of K9. Sad, really. Turner and Hooch is the one where Crank T. Nelson tries to kill a dog, right? Is it Crank T. is it crank teen Nelson yeah crank teen Nelson's the bad guy I think but the tea stands for Turner yeah that's what I don't remember for me because I'm like why's coach trying to kill this dog

that was oh no you think of Turner and coach oh that's what I was thinking yeah yeah Turner was the dog in that one and crank teen Nelson was coach Jerry Van Dyke of course played his character, yeah. Turner was the dog in that one, and Crating Nelson was coach. Jerry Van Dyke, of course, played his character of, I don't know the name of that character. And dober played dober. Yeah, doger, which was the dog version of Frogger. Okay. Anyway, so Ethan,

you know what the favorite kind of beer is? What? Lager. Okay. You know where they go? Where? Sogger T's. That joke was a real Sogger T's.

You know what their sexual fetages? What? Flogger. Hey, you know what happens when they use the toilet? What? Flogger. I feel like Elliot goes to like the website rhyme zone and just laughs, laughs, laughs.

Oh, that's like porn for me. I just like, what are words that rhyme with giants? And then I'll just jack off to that. Client, uh. What kind of job does he have on the internet? He's a blogger. Oh, I someone's playing the game. Somebody's playing the game. Dan, your turn. Come on. Come on. Don't be an asshole.

I mean, vlogger is right there. Oh, God. Snogger smogger. Okay. He's starting to sweat everybody. They he's a real fan of that movie with Joan Crawford. He's a Traeger. All right. Okay. I also have accepted he likes to celebrate porn at the synagogue with a grogger. Sure. That's a noise maker. Yeah. Took a, took a ride around the block for that one, but I think the journey was in that. It meant that Jews weren't killed because

Heyman was, was taken out of the picture. Yes, it was a bit. In that it meant that Jews weren't killed because Hamon was taken out of the picture. Yes, it was worth it. That was the fellow war cookies for a hat, right? Oh. Judaism's a weird religion since we celebrate one of our weirder holidays by eating a cookie in the shape of the hat of the Hitler of the what 12th century, 10th century.

So anyway, a story short. Long story short. This is the main story of the movie. Is the dog becomes named Bailey. He's Ethan's dog. Ethan's dad does not like him. Not the least because he's always, he's a dog. He's ran a bunch of, he eats his gold coin.

That's a collector's edition. He's a kid out though. But not until after, it's becoming an embarrassing situation when the dad's boss comes over for dinner. And now, this is a weird thing that it's some point in Human history it was a considered appropriate for a boss to impose on his employees by going to dinner at their house and having a business conversation That's why you became a boss back in the old days for all the free grub Yeah, yeah, I'd make all the writers take me out to dinner

Yeah, and I'd be like tell me why should I keep you on and they'd be like We don't really have the power to fire us and I go Okay, I'll pay for dinner It's like when like a Lord or Lady would travel to their to their their vessels Yeah, they're vessels and have them feed them and you know take them into their homes for a little while That's a very fair point. It's a good point So we get this really great scene, the dad character who had previously accused Ethan

and the dog of playing dirty pool by using the cuteness of this dog to convince him to take the dog in as a ward. Yeah, that's what it was. I think it's called a shed. He does the same shit where he has his boss in, has his fucking kid, dog and wife there, and he's like, yo dude, how about you give me a desk job

instead of keeping me on the road all the time? That's fucking weird. He goes, the numbers have been very good lately. Yes, they have been good numbers. You are a top traveling salesman. What does this guy sell? I don't know. What is this business?

I don't know. Yeah, I guess. And he's a drunk with that. The dog eats a coin, a gold coin, it's a godan gold dollar, which is a very valuable coin. Who's the fucking Mario? What's he doing eating coins? Is Mario eating those coins? I mean, he runs through them and they just appear.

Yeah, he doesn't have money. They're just going into the pockets. He's wearing overalls, he has huge pockets. I don't start bulging. I mean, he's eating so many clothes. Oh, man, I was got a bulge, all right. Oh, gross. LA's been looking at DV and art again.

Damn, I told you to block that website. I just, I need to know what's going on with Sonic pregnancy. What's going, what's wrong, Mr. Are they in? What's happening? Wait, so is none of the data? No, this tail's the dead. What's going what's wrong, Mr. and now what's happening? Wait, so it's not the dead now. Just tails the dead. Or is it Dr. Roboto, whatever his name was?

Robotnik. Robotnik. Oh, they changed to that Ellis Island, yeah. The Coles is usually the dumb and Tails is usually the femme or a dead character. Yeah, they're always so sad that Tails died. So he's like, cradling his dead body. And I always imagine that Sonic has the voice that Joliel White gave him in the Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon show.

I don't remember that at all. I was a cartoon show, Sonic the Hedgehog start in it. Ercle himself did the voice of Sonic, but like not as Ercle. Like it's a cool voice. Yeah, he did it as Sonic. Yeah, of course, who is not a nerd. Yeah. So the dog has to poop out this gold coin

so that he can get it back in the box. The kid to distract them, to distract them. Okay. So he can slip the gold coin back in the box so it says, hey, there's a rat over there leading to the- You're thinking Ethan? Yeah, moron.

The boss's wife climbs up on the table, ends up halfway into a cake and falls down and collapses the table. Oh boy, have to assume the dead loss does job over that one, because he becomes a drunk. We flash forward. We never see, by the way, I just wanna say, we never see the kid washing off that poop coin or slipping it back in the head.

He licks the whole thing off, yeah. He's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, because he couldn't see anything. I wonder if the human mouth is much cleaner than any kind of saying dog poop. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, but there's no possible way that's the case. Unless there is xenomorph acid blood burning the germs off. A rumor spread around by dogs who wanted people to lick their butts. From the dog butt leaking counsel, liquid one today. Have you lick the dog butt today? No, wait, no, I haven't.

Four out of five doctors say, ew, get away from me. The fifth doctor lost his license. So Ethan grows up on first. We see that Ethan has a, the dog bites Ethan's football and deflates it. Ethan doesn't care. He just toss it like a frisbee. He and the dog have this trick.

It's fucking frisbee. He invents a frisbee, which I thought Marty McFly invented in the old west. And then he does a trick where he throws, he somehow throws the frisbee and then the dog jumps off of his back to catch it. This must be the slowest moving frisbee in the world. Like, I don't get how that's possible. Dan explained to me, because I'm missing something. So time and space are warped around the love of a dog. That's Einstein's general theory of dog activity.

Yeah, it's like a sick, nearly trick, like in Tony Hawk Pro's cater. As soon as he started doing something physics and stuff doesn't matter. Oh, we're like the knuckle puck in the mighty ducks films. Okay, so flash forward. Yeah, Ethan has become a high school football star. His dad is a drunk. And Ethan's on top of the world. He's the star of the football team.

Everybody loves him except this one kid who hates him. Cause he's kind of the e-ago type. Yeah. And his dog's still with him. And his dog helps him have meet cute with a cute girl at local carnival. Yeah. He shows her where the good hot dogs are at the carnival.

And before he does, he says, let's get the good hot dogs over here. He goes, oh, there's a good one over here. And before you know it, they're using a different kind of hot dog. He goes where there's like cheese squirted on the inside of that dog. Yeah, probably. And cheese that squirts out and gets all over the place. Oh, you can see all nasty. Yeah cheese nasty Cheese nasty sounds like a

Work yeah, something like a fucking Batman villain on Gotham what happened was I'm sure there's some There's some Cheese mascot that Alan Moore turned into a porn o-comic of some kind to make a point about I don't know freedom or something. Well, you know, he was in an erotic relationship with his, his channel all life and they, you know, did a cheese themed comic book. I'm not gonna kick shame somebody for loving cheese and stuff, dude. Yeah. It's delicious. Okay, you're right, it is delicious. It's one of the, you're right, it is delicious. It's one of the top two things you can do is stuff that comes out of a cow.

So the other is ice cream. There's a big, but there's, but there's a big, big game. All may, well, for, uh, Ethan comes home one night from Snaugan with his gal, with Bailey, his dog, goes with him everywhere, even to school. Yeah. And he finds that his snoggin with his gal with Bailey his dog goes with him everywhere even to school Yeah, and he finds that his dad is arguing with his mom and pushes her and he says never touch her again You get out of here and throws him out Now it's the night of a big game. There's a scene where I was expecting them to get in a scuffle and the dad to like

Kick Bailey and out or space or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because anytime drama happens, I immediately assume it's going to lead to injury of the dog. Yeah. The dog luckily is not hurt in this first and the second iteration of his life. But so there's a big game. Ethan announces that scouts from Michigan State were there to give them a full four year scholarship. He's on top of the world, but he gets into a fight with that Iago kid, and the kid is playing around with firecrackers,

because the kid makes fun of him for having a drunk dad. Now a bad dad football dad, which is what they call bad dad soccer dad in England. That night, and then Ethan punches that kid. That kid gets his revenge by throwing a lit firecracker into the mail slaw their house the house burns down in the night now they only escape with their lives he drops it on there what like their oil soaked a welcome mat back then in what i popular in the seven it's the early seventies i guess yet and people love to take

their welcome mat and just soak it with oil because they thought that the fumes kind of made you lose your inhibitions you you know? For the head. The Dormat parties. Where you take a Dormat and you throw it into a kid's swimming pool, those little like little kid's swimming pools, and then you'd pull out a random Dormat and you'd just take that to your house and you'd put it on your doorstep. And then when you woke up in the morning, you'd be like, whoa, crazy. What did I do last night? This is Dormat.

This used to say, welcome and now it says, welcome, crazy. What did I do last night? This is a storm. Crazy used to say, welcome. And now it says, welcome, please. Now I understand the ice storm, guys. Yeah, yeah. Now the ice storm is all about a time when ice fell out of the sky. It's called Ice Age, Dornell, the dinosaurs. Oh, that's crazy.

And it stars John Liguzano, Ray Romano, and Dennis Leriano. But how do they get all those stars into one movie, Elliot? Well, there's only one way to do it. Star Vacuum Sealing. Dan, how often have you found that you have too many stars for the space you need to keep it in? All the time, I wish there was a better way.

And now there is. Stop stuffing your stars, smushing your stars, or cutting their heads and feet off so that they'll fit into your drawers. Here, it's time for the Star Vacuum Seal. Now, all you have to do is take your star, let's say it's, I don't know, a Hector Elisando, and put him in a plastic bag, suck out all the extra air,

and it scrunches him down to a much shorter, smaller, more storeable space. Mm-hmm. Hector, compact, Zondro, more like. Why do you always put dro at the end of it? I don't know, I don't know. It's a mental blog that takes it. It's a weird verbal tick that only manifests

when you're saying the name of Hector Elizondo. Elizondo sounds wrong to me. Sounds Ella Rongo. That's right. Anyway, we've been having our fun, but you know who's not having fun? Bailey, because he notices that smell of smoke. Now, he describes every smell he experiences like,

this was an angry smell. I didn't like this smell. When Ethan first sees the girl as a question, he goes, he even had a new smell, a sweaty smell. It's all disgusting. I could smell his pre-come, dripping from his sweaty areas. Oh, don't like that. Yeah.

That was too, for some reason, if we have said jokes that led up to that, I'd be okay with it, but we're just come out of nowhere. No pun intended. Come on, guys. Get your minds out of the gutter. Yeah. I didn't like it.

All right, well, we'll put it in the floppest sale. You think it's a lot of your pre-come material? Just say that, put that in a little thing, lock it up. Saying I was premature with my pre-come material. No, premature exclamation. Yeah, well, you can go. Ejacca saline. Mm-hmm, Ejacca saline.

So we're saying the dog can smell when this dude gets a boner. Yes. The dog can smell when the dude gets a boner. You can also smell when the lady gets a lady boner. Yes, because he says that she has a sweaty smell too. And it seems to be the same smell. And when the two of them are kissing, he's of course there and he's like,

they wrestled a lot and with their mouths, they must have thought they had food in there. Was there food hidden in there? And it's like, stop, stop it. Grody, is this for kids? Anyway, Bailey wakes them up in... Is this for kids or just dog haters? Or dog lovers?

Oh, no. In escaping from the house, Ethan falls, hurts his leg. A fiery beam falls on it, a wooden beam, not a laser beam. And the next thing we know is on crutches, he's not going to college. His life is over. Well, he's going to like a farm school now.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it feels like... It's a learning how to take over the farm It feels like that fire was set by the University of Michigan To deny their rivals a powerful football player. I see some Wolverine Sneaking around they must have sent Wolverine in his guys as patch to go set this fire Now here's how you can tell the difference from Wolverine and patch. Okay. What is a patch? Where's an eye patch? All right.

But otherwise, people can never tell that he's the famous Wolverine. Those are like, Wolverine has a healing factor. He'd never lose an eye that I would just grow right back. So this patch character must be, I don't know, his cousin. And he also is a native of Madrepoor, right? Yes. Madrepoor, the shadowy land that- Has he ever patched when he leaves Madreport, the shadowy land that a patch when he leaves

madreport. I don't think so. Like, is there a place in the airport that he can just leave his, his patch? There's probably like a locker in the airport. In the airport. Yeah. He takes a flight back. I mean, he can't take the fucking blackbird everywhere, dude. No, regular flight out of madreport. Well, the thing is there's no direct. Madreport, the well-known Delta Hub. There's actually no direct flights between Madreport and New York. You have to go from Madreport to Genocia, from Genocia to Latvaria, Latvaria to Simcaria, Simcaria to Wakanda, which is weird.

Where do Simcaria is? Simcaria is in Europe, also, that's where SilverSavile is from. Then back to Wakanda, because that's where the actualable is from. Oh, okay. Then back to Wakanda, because that's where the actual hub is. And then over to Muir Island. Then up to Muir Island, then over to the Blue Area of the Moon where the watcher lives,

then to add the hidden city of Atalon. And then Savage Land. The down to the Savage Land, yeah. AKA Detroit. Uh oh. I was the last to destroy it on fire. Then up to Project Pegasus and finally to Empire State University in New York City. How's that for Marvel locations?

Yeah, that's like Gazzoteer Day. Where and the world is Marvel going this time. And that's the theme song for what you just did. Yeah, I don't get it. You were doing Marvel location. Dan, and you rock a fella. Rock a fella was a friend of mine. You served no rock a fella.

You're better. Oh, thanks. So long story short. Let me tell you about this zombie jamboree. In this, no, please don't. Oh, god, I hate this song. Anyway, only because there was an assembly at school once where a group came and saying that song,

and it was endless forever. Now, in this timeline, Bailey dies a natural death of old age. Then he's reincarnated. Bailey is reincarnated as is the next one when he is with a college student. No, he is the next one when he is with the college student. No, he is the police star.

Right, that's right. That's when Dan turned to me and said, who is this movie for? Because he is reincarnated as a police dog who is with a police man who has lost his wife in some way, either divorce or death, we don't know, and is lonely all the time. But the least things are looking up

because it's not all white people. No, that's true, yeah, he's what, Latino? Yeah, yeah. And I think he has like, Captain, the detective on the case of the missing girl is a black man. Of course, so they track down a missing girl, and then it becomes an action scene

on a bridge over a river. And this is both wildly out of tone for the movie. Up to this point, the movie. And he's is like great sweeping shots around the band oh yeah of course and and the dog gets shot and dies during the sequence now this movie spoiler alert but we're telling the plot of the movie are you talking about the scene oh sorry sorry the the this is the third of five lives of the dogs. The dog gets shot and you'll never guess what happens next. Click through to find out. It's a slide show, man.

The scene where the detective is like sobbing and holding this bleeding dog and Josh Gads voice says, I'm cold. Can I just go lie down in your bed? Yeah, no, I mean like the kidnapper knocks the girl or she falls off the bridge. He throws her off the bridge. The dog goes and rescues the- You never throws his daughter off a bridge, right?

It's supposed to be his daughter. Is it? I honestly could not tell. Right before he parkores up the side of the bridge. The guy throws her off the bridge and then see a spider man's way of sight. I don't think the rose are off. I think she hits him with her elbow, but that kicks her off bounds and she falls off the bridge. We'll have to return to the tape. Watch the movie again.

Rescue her by swimming and pulling her to the shore. And then he also rescues his master by coming in and getting shot, basically. Yeah. So this movie up to these scenes has been very pastoral, let's say, very slow, except for the occasional dog death, very gentle, except even the stuff with the drunk dad is like pretty gentle. It's been very labor day so far.

I guess so, it's been, except with even less of a sense of like plot or incident, it's just kinda like, we're just bopping along to dog stuff, this dog's telling the things it's supposed to be cute, but it's kinda gross, you know? The scene where he digs up the dead cat and drags the carcass into the house. Now that's, again, that's supposed to be like a funny joke. He's like, the cat was missing.

That was where the movie lost me forever where a cat carcass was pulled out for a joke. Boo-hoo, I've never read Ed Grailin' Poe. I can't deal with a dead cat's body. Okay. Boo, recently I lost my beloved cat. Where? It's pretty accurate.

You say, where, where? I really don't know what to say. I do say that a lot. You can't see it listeners, but I'm like, just twisting my hands next to my face in a way that represents a baby crying. Yeah, you know how to irritate your eyeballs? Oh, that's not a thing.

I'm very sensitive. I'm crying, I don't want to mess my contact lenses up. So I just got to just twist my hands and there it near my eyes. Yeah. It's enough people understand, they got to indicate. So, uh, what we, oh, so up to this point

it's been very for the most part, gentle and boring. This has been a, mostly a warm bath of a movie. There weren't a lot of gunshots going on. No, then suddenly, yeah, it's the 70s. And I guess America just got gritty. Yeah. And the dog is involved in crime. Yeah, yeah, it's all you've involved in crime.

I mean, from the point of view of stopping it. Of Chicago, yeah. City of big shoulders. Like pork butcher to the world. Say something about Chicago. Damn, something nice. The Wendy city. Like pork butcher to the world. Say something about Chicago dance, something nice. Uh, the windy city. That's neither nice nor not nice. Say something complimentary.

Uh, it's got, uh, it should not, it should not take you this long to compliment Chicago. Um, the, the, the science and industry museum is very nice there. And you live close to here where you grew up close there, not live. How far away from Chicago? Three and a half hours. Like I haven't spent a lot of time in Chicago. Was it too rough for you? No, I only went on school trips pretty much and we mostly went to the science industry museum. You remember you complaining about Chi-Rak before?

We had a great time. We had a great time in Chicago at the very, very fun day. That's what I'll say about Chicago. That's true. I only wish that I could have gone to the Field Museum to visit the Ghost and the Darkness, but the last I didn't have time. But if you're in Chicago, just go visit the lines that that movie is based on. They're just stuffed in that museum.

What? The real lines? Yeah, the real ones. Wow. Yeah, they look very ratty. Okay. I can't, the lines in the movie. Why the head? I can't, the lines in the movie. The lines in the movie?

Much sexier than the real lions. But that's Hollywood, you know? They just sex them up all the time. The same way George Clooney. As my grandmother said, when Goodnight and Good Luck came out, she was very funny that George Clooney was playing the legendary news producer, Fred Friendley, because she had known Friend Friendley and remembered him as a hideously ugly man.

Now, I don't, a very nice man and brilliant, but as she said, you know, not attractive. So. All right. But the moving on, this dog dies. Anyway, this dog dies. It was reincarnated again. It was a back door promotion of George Clooney's appearance. Moving on, this dog dies. Anyway, this dog dies. He's reincarnated. He can't. Reincarnated.

Reincarnated. Reincarnated. He's a parent. Reincarnated almost instantly in a way that seems kind of like torture to the dog where he's like, can't I rest? He's basically the nameless one from the plane's gate. Poor man. Vigil.

Is his soul can never find peace. I feel at some point this dog is going to encounter like a devilish death trap created by a previous one of his incarnations and he's going to have to navigate it. Yeah, he's like, is it Agra Jag? Is that the name of the character from Hitchhiker's Guide who is, lives only to be murdered by Arthur Dent accidentally over and over again? Yeah. I feel like spoiler alert, he comes one of his later incarnations encounters, you know, the family that you that owned one of his previous lives. And I kept expecting him to like find the grave.

Dig up his own body and just stare at it. They would he would touch the bones and then they'd time cop their like and yeah, you and me are on the same page. Now, now he's reincarnated as a dog who is owned by a college student, and she is very lonely and she gets married and has kids

and they have a dog also. It's very boring at this point, which I think makes up for the boringness. It may be, it's a dog dies of old age. I mean, it's just a very- Probably pizza consumption. Yeah, she's constantly feeding him human food,

which is not good for a dog. And it's not good for the owner if you get my drift. If you don't like to clean up wet loose stool, don't feed your dog human food. I do like to clean up wet loose stool. Oh, then feed your dog pizza and ice cream and all that stuff. Yeah. All right.

That's happens in the 80s, which is very subtly signified by as soon as he emerges into the world you hear. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da That's the songs of the angels. Sorry, I don't sound enough like a synthesizer. Yeah. Yeah.

So I like this cori version of him, because corgi's are adorable. Oh, yeah. Oh, OK. Let's get this one. From the highest queen to the lowest peasant, everyone loves a corgi. I... I got to get this off my chest, guys. I think dogs are adorable. Yeah. I know.

You're going to get out of there and the fucking limb. I'm going to get some angry tweets directed at me that I think dogs are cute, but you know what? I think they're all pretty. Stuart wasn't Stuart wasn't enough of an internet hunk darling He had to go ahead and say what are you gonna tell me like firefly next? I'm gonna stand up for what I believe in guys And I believe that dogs who do horrible The thing is hey, you know what you know what? I don't want to I don't want the internet to hate me But you know it's delicious tacos Whoa I don't want to, I don't want the internet to hate me, but you know what's delicious tacos? Whoa

What are you gonna say sir? So this dog dies not this is gonna stand up and say that all people should be treated with respect and dignity Oh So these, so this, this life is like filler life. They're just, wait, they're, they're treading water until the next life, which is when things get sad.

I think you encounter is an important thing. Like you encounter the thing earlier when he was the cop dog, about the idea of like how loneliness is bad. Loneliness is bad. Someone else in their life. Loneliness is bad. He literally says loneliness is the worst thing

that can happen. Mm-hmm. And then LA and I held hands during that scene. Yeah. And then in the in the next life he got to see two people find a find a relationship granted he sought through his own relationship because he was in love with a much larger dog. Yeah. And their lovemaking has to be imagined, but I'm sure it's hilarious. He has to get up on like a little doggy steps Yeah, there is Super sexy it depends on what you're into sure sure It's also not it's not clear whether or not this dog the dog that he's in love with

Also is like a body jumping semi-sentient creature. We have to assume so. And the question is, is like, why did he seem to gain sentience when he did? Is he like a forest gump, like malevolent sprite that travels through the... Wait, does that what's sent your forest gump is? Yeah, see how that all of a sudden it's a syntax. But you got, he's, notice how, he's the thread that runs to the 20th century. And you know what else runs to the 20th century?

Evil. Okay. First gump leaves destruction in his wake. Jenny gets AIDS, Lieutenant Dan loses his legs, Bubba dies. Everything Mars Gunn touches he destroys. We don't worry. Except for the apple for a bridge.

And that ping pong paddy touches, I guess, sees the world. And that feather too. And of course, it gets across the lesson that we all should have learned, which is that hippies and Vietnam War protesters, and I guess black panthers were nothing but selfish miscreants. And really it's the quiet Americans who just put their heads down and did with the government told them and then invested in corporations.

Those are the real heroes, you know. Intelligence is the enemy. One force come up and really fucking famous. Why wouldn't people sitting on that park bench recognize? He gets famous. He's running coast to coast, but he has a beard then. I mean, but Tom Hanks is like a super recognizable dude. Well, of course it was, if it was Tom Hanks,

yes, people would recognize me, they was famous. Maybe like, aren't you David Pumpkins? Where are you Turner? Mm-hmm. Hey, hey, honey, it's the man with one red shoe over here. I can't wait. It's Masons and Monsters over here. I can't make a person made of mine.

It's on Amazon right now. Amazon Prime, you can watch Masons and Monsters. Really? I guess someone's bonfireing a vanity over here. I can only imagine, sometimes in the distant future, where somebody cracks open a cryovalt and finds an old iPod with this episode of the podcast and they queue it up and they hear the name David S. Pumpkins and they go, oh yes, the most important contribution to the world of comedy.

I say, how dare they blaspheme our God. This is an evil robot, evil spirit in this box. And then they'll put it in front of an altar of Tom Hanks wearing that pumpkin suit, and they'll just burn it. Say, this pleases you pumpkins. Pleases you. Yes, good harvest this year. Not enough child blood for you.

More for you pumpkins. Good harvest, good. It's called a cataclet cool for a baby that's pumpkin so it's. It's a good book, very good book. Anyway. So we're reaching the finish line here. Well, let's just, and we're at the most,

well, the dog briefly has a very sad life living with a bunch of, let's just call them white trash, who, hey, who mistreat them. He is let loose. And then when he's on his own, he discovers, hey, he discovers his old owner, Ethan, and Ethan his old owner Ethan and Ethan's old girlfriend and manages to bring him back together. And at the very end, he proves that it's him to Ethan by performing that football trick.

And when Ethan goes, are you the the dog, the boss dog, which is something that he used to call Bailey's a child, he barks. And he goes, Bailey and the dog barks. And as Dan point out, we're watching it, only Bailey would bark when something said to him, no other dog would ever bark at a thing. Yeah, that's far harder to believe than the idea that this dog is so hopping through time. Dennis and this moment, and this is Dennis Quaid,

I'm sorry, the older Ethan is Dennis Quaid. And at this moment, we are expected to believe that Dennis Quaid, who is presented to us before, is a sane, rational human being, who was good enough to maybe play football for Michigan State, is now within a moment instantly by into, buys into the idea of either dog reincarnation or that Bailey faked his death, went to Rio, got plastic surgery to look like a younger dog, and it has decided to return anyway. The movie leaves it up to the viewer

to decide which of these Dennis Quaid believes. I am shocked that he doesn't collapse on the ground with a nosebleed, comprehending, being normally the scale of what lies ahead of him. That a secret of the universe has just been revealed to him. And the whole time the dog's like, what's my purpose? What's my purpose? What's my purpose? What's my purpose?

And the end he decides what his purpose is, what companionship. Like jumping in catch and fucking football. It's to be here now is what he says. That's what he says. Yeah, it is. It's to live in the moment is what is the purpose. Fucking crazy.

Because you know, this dog, it's the same lesson that you get from every movie where a businessman who's too busy for his family goes into an altered timeline or becomes a kid or goes to never never land like hey You know what I should just be here in the moment with my family So I'm glad that this dog had to die four times to learn this yeah This dog he died he died to teach us a lesson he died for our sins and was resurrected So they should have called this movie Christ dog. So now that he's done this, does he get to fucking leap home?

Yeah. He's a living, that's his home. How great would it have been if fucking Sam was showing up the whole time, it's a ziggy. No, it's out. Sam is the guy. Oh, man, guy. Sam is still at left.

He's so mad himself for not remembering quantum leap. Criterature names. Al, Dean Stockwell, as you're talking about. If Al showed up, that would be great. Like Ziggy says, there's a 32% chance that you have to, I don't know, protect the family from a fire or some shit. Yeah, something like that. And then, and then he just takes a microphone and sings a candy colored sandman. I think you may be confusing different things. Not well.

And he has the and then he's the boy with green hair right. Not here at Eastanten. No, they're very different people and they're both in Paris, Texas until the moment where they shake hands and they merge together like in time cop. All right. So we've been going very long. It's time to do final judgments whether this is down in the This is a trim it down in the edit room, right? Yeah, yeah.

We gotta do whether this is... Did our editor Ziggy? A good bad movie, a bad bad movie, our movie kinda like Ziggy Sabatka. Another famous pop culture Ziggy. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna say this is a bad bad movie, but the reason may surprise you, and that's because this movie kind of worked on me,

and that made me angry. Like the movie was... Oh, you felt victim to its manipulations. The movie was manipulating my feelings, and it was so obvious in the way it was manipulating my feelings, that it was not a good movie, but the fact that it made me feel emotions, made me feel angry.

And the movie knows the tricks, it's like, happy dog, dog, happy dog, dead dog. Yeah. You see dog, happy dog, you happy now, happy dog, dog, happy dog, dead dog. Yeah. Happy dog, juicy dog, happy dog. You happy now, dead dog, you sad now. Well, yeah, I mean, as you mentioned before, like, that's a caveman directing the movie. I did have to like put my cat down,

like, not overly long ago. And, and to remember what it is like. It's Lulu, not Archie, just. No, Archie is still alive and kicking. And they scratch on my crotch every chance it gets. And they have a literal scene where, you know, like, they take the dog to the vet to put it asleep. And I'm just like, why do you have to fucking do this to me, movie?

I know you're not a good movie, but you're making me cry just because you're touching something in my real life that hurt me. So I guess what you're saying is- I think that was a ball python once and it made me really sad. Yeah. I guess what you're saying, Dan, is if you could talk this movie, you'd say, bad movie, bad movie, bad dogs purpose. I would hit it with a roll of newspaper. And you'd shove the, the movie's nose into itself.

That's right. So it could smell itself. Yep. I'm gonna go with Dan. I think, you know what? It's, I didn't like it. It's, except for the dog dying four times. It's well, and being mistreated throughout, it's like, the movie is kind of like barely there. It's a bad, bad movie, but for me, it was less because it worked and more because it failed to work for me on such a simple level.

The movie was so basic and so, just a wisp of the thing. There was very little going on in it that I was, I was like, we've watched this movie for like an hour and like it's barely a movie. And so I would say, I mean, to a certain point, I guess they're trying to go for like an awh-h-h-s-hard baltazar type thing, but it didn't work. I don't know, yeah.

However that's pronounced. You know, there's some stuff in this movie that I think, there's some stuff that I like. Obviously, I like seeing pappos running around being doggs. You love mispronouncing words. And there's some shots that I think are beautiful. There's some really beautiful shots of like a farm, and like foggy mornings and a sweet pappo. It's not a bad looking movie. It's a well very nicely shot movie.

On the other hand, like, I get so uncomfortable now of shots and stories that like reek of like shitty Americana nostalgia and it just, it just doesn't work for me. Like, I can't do it anymore. And this movie wasn't particularly good and the idea of a dog that is jumping bodies over and over and over is fucking insane and creepy. Yeah, I agree. How do you say cheese in Spanish? What show should I have on my DVR? What are the best songs of the year?

Is VR cool? What's your jam? Which one of you is the Renata of the panel? For answers to these questions and so much more, come on over to Pawp Rocket, a Pawp culture roundtable discussion that always has a fun, diverse panel talking about the stuff we love. Catch us every Wednesday on MaximumFund.org, or wherever you decide to get your podcast. I'm not going to judge. Mugs, shirts, stickers, patches, tanks, and more are yours for the purchasing at maxfunstore.com. Hey, you already love the podcasts, so why not take this to the next level and outfit your home and bud with our merch maxlunstore.com because if you have to wear a shirt, it should

be one of ours. So moving on, we have a couple of sponsors to talk about tonight. They help fund the flop house. Number one is the fund house. the flop house. Number one is welcome to the fun house. It's just trying it out. This is a real super fun site. The flop house, because we're not far from the Gawanna Seria. Yeah. Hey, are you hiring? You know where to post your job to find the best hand leaving your job? Zip recruiter, you can post your job to 100 plus job sites with

just one click. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, so Zip recruiter, you can post your job to 100 plus job sites with just one click. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, so Zip recruiter allows me to post job listings to over a hundred sites and social networks like Facebook. You're looking for a new man who's leaving his job of no. You heard it here first, Dan is leaving his job. Nope. And what's that transitioning?

Yeah, hey, more power to you, Dan, I'm proud of you. You're in career. I'm proud of you. You can just put a listing up on zipper cruder for I don't know like um and what what's it called? The guys that that people hire to crawl around like dogs with dog colors on and be like their slaves for sexual reasons What is that that's the kind of job Dan wants? So just put up a listing for that on zipper cruder and you can hire Dan don't kank shank. That's a job I would I have to say, I mean, it's no job feels like work when you love it.

If when you love your work, it doesn't feel like a job. Don't know why we have to be taking down innocent kinksters and the... No, I'm just impressed that that's a thing you can do for a living. Like, if that's something you just like to do, that's awesome. Yeah, yeah, but I mean, look,

there's no reason you shouldn't do it as a job. That makes sense. I'm sure there's a union for it. Listen. Zip recruiter. Zip recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you. It finds them. You're putting the word out and Zip recruiter is getting that word to the people so they

can apply. Over 80% of a job is posted on Zip recruiterouter get a qualified candidate in just 24 hours. So find out today why Zippercouter has been used by businesses of all sizes to find the most qualified job candidates with immediate results. And right now, our listeners can post jobs on Zippercouter for free. That's right free. Just go to zippercouter.com slash first. That's zippercouter.com slash first.

One more time to try it for free, go to zippercuder.com slash first. That's zippercuder.com slash first. One more time to try it for free, go to zippercuder.com slash first. I can only assume some of our listeners are business owners. Yeah, sure. Small businesses, big businesses. The biggest. The members of the band, big business, who are looking for a guitar player, so a movie, big business,

with Ben Bidler and Lily Tomlin. Mm-hmm. That was, and they played twins twins or two sets of twins. They should have called that movie two sets of twins, the movie, twin twins. So Zippercruder, try it today. If you're a company, you're a person, you're hiring somebody, Zippercruder. The floppy us is also supported in part by Casper, an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. Casper mattresses features a supportive memory foam for a sleep surface that's got just

the right sink and just the right bounce. Risk-free trial and return policy tries sleeping on a Casper for 100 days with free delivery to the US and Canada and painless returns. The mattresses are made in America, made in the America. That's a story to Ed Danson, special offer. A big ol' burger to the end. The listeners of the flop house,

flop house listeners can get $50 toward any mattress by visiting www.casper.com slash flop house and using the promo code flop house, all one word at checkout. Casper.com slash flop house promo code flop house. You get to sleep like a day. Terms like additions apply. Yeah, sleep like a Dan. Casper.

Now Dan, you're a Casper user. I want to hear about their sink and their bounce, as you said it. Well, the sink. Start with the sink, yeah. Was great. Was great. Was great. You heard she have pillow fights on the bed. How's that bed hold up? It's good.

Archie gets a little rough with the pillow fights. Sometimes you have to be like Archie. Archie, this is for fun. This is for fun, Archie. And you and Archie are hurting me. You stop it, Archie. Stop it. Okay, now what about the bounce?

The bounce bounce my friends Is where the cast from mattress really sings? Oh the bounce boy, howdy you go down you go up you go down You go up. It's a classic bounce situation They made a movie about it trying Ben Affleck and Winner's Paltrow I'm just elucin my collar here a little bit I'm just trying Ben Affleck and Winner's Paltrow. I'm just elucin' my collar here a little bit. I mean, yeah, yeah, steamy. I mean, in a movie with Owen Wilson,

the no one watched, it's called The Big Bounce, and it was all about Casper mattresses. When you and RG are playing sandworm on the bed, that's where you wrap yourself up in the blanket, and then you roll around like you're a giant sandworm. I really do. That's right. How's the Casper mattress hold up?

Does it feel like you're rolling around when the sand's a or a raccus? Yeah, the hold up? Does it feel like you're rolling around on the sands of a raccus? Yeah, the dune planet. It feels like you're just, you're rolling around on a bunch of sand. Because you're a maker and you're making spice. Fair enough. Because the Fremen depend on you.

That's part of the game is you get to be something bigger than what you're in your real life. Yeah, exactly. You read it. Did you read that as Fremen? Oh, or Fremen is Freeman. I I would I know that it was supposed to be like fremen, but then I'd start thinking they all look like Morgan Freeman. Yeah, okay. You were like, I am not a

fremen. I am a free man. Yeah, just like Patrick, the fremen. That's now Dan. Yeah. Uh, questions being thrown around tonight. No, you're mention of pillow fights made me think of a cute story about my son. Okay. Now, my son likes to stand on my mattress which elases not a Casper. And have a pillow fight which means he just hits me in the face with a pillow. I started doing a bit where I take a pillow and then fluff it and then say, okay, Miss,

I've fluffed you. You're not going to hit me now, right? And the pillow nods and then it hits me anyway. He thinks this is hilarious, and he started repeating this bit back to me. But very elaborately, where he's like, I'm gonna fluff the pillow now. Okay, Mr. Pillow, you're not gonna hit me, though. Oh, I won't hit you, Sammy. Okay, and then his stunt work is not so great,

but he mimes getting hit by the pillow, and it's like, and he's like, hey, you hit me, and I'm very proud of him. Does he do a thing where he hits himself and then like super delayed, like jumps up and falls on the floor, on the bed? No. Because I find that that was what I would do

when I was hitting myself with a pillow. The more the delay is, the funnier it is that it would make no sense that it would take this long for that pillow, strike, to lay me low. That's a good joke, that's a good joke. He's not quite there yet, but he's, he's, he's throwing my jokes back at me very well. There's another bit we do.

Yeah. Where he makes soup for me in the bath by just scooping water into a cup. Uh-huh. And then I pretend that, oh, I can't wait to taste this soup. And just as I've had to break into my lips, I go, a chew and mine's sneezing and I hurl the water back into the tub, spilling it. He thinks that's hilarious.

Yeah. Have you actually done that at a restaurant yet? No, he's going to think it's less hilarious when scalding soup comes flying through the air. Yep. And he's like, why am I taking a bath in the restaurant, dad? That's crazy. We all float in this restaurant, dad. Yeah. Do you ever, does

your son ever say things? Yes. Are totally terrifying. Occasionally, my son is in this, do you like look over your shoulder and say, there's my secret friend? And you're like, what is happening? Dad, all I want to say was ring around the rosy No, what he does is he's both very articulate for a three-year-old and then also very prone to speaking in tongues So he'll just be like I was a little daddy and I'm like what demon are you country? now When I was a young Child I've been told by my brother, John, who's 10 years older than

me, that he came across me once in my room rocking back and forth and saying, evil spirits come today, evil spirits come to say. And this has disturbed me for many years. It explains a lot to be honest with you. Your life is falling into place no way that I didn't expect. Oh, man, it was like I'm Chaz Paul Matari at the end of the usual. Oh, no, you just dropped your favorite

mug. No, no, it's just made by Ann McCoy. Yeah. So what comes next on the show, Dan? Next up, or should I tell you more stories about my amazing stuff. No, I'm going to tell you a story about a Jujujumbo Tron time. Jumbo Tron time, guys. Jujujumbo Tron time, guys. This message is from the secret covenant of the sisters of the plop.

The message is for this as a Hanley voice. Let me see if I can do this. The ladies know who this message is for How is that? It sounded like you with a little more sass. Okay. Yeah Ladies, let's talk about your pelvic floor. We all know we should cagle But who can remember to do them on the regular? This is your reminder my lovelies squeeze and hold and who can remember to do them on the regular. This is your reminder, my lovelies. Squeeze.

And hold. And release. If you remember nothing else, try to remember to cagle every time you hear Dan sigh. Soon, we will have the strength to defeat the patriarchy and rule the world. I feel disinjected with serenity. Yeah. Yeah. the world. I feel disinjected with reading. Is that a, uh,

important reminder or a chilling auger of things to come? Yeah. I breathe on you, either just for told the handmade stale were stop the handmade handmade handmade stale from coming. They're hand made in tales that the the park stand would, you know, that's just called the hand maiden. Okay. Hand made tales different. Oh, okay. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, I roll over way better when I remembered things. I've got a jumbo trying message to this message for Mark from Stephen. And the message is happy birthday to my favorite brother to watch all the greatest movies with.

The great mouse detective, the great mumpet capper, and of course, faithful findings. No matter, hit it, Rocca Pella, where in the world you are, parking your car, guess what you hear this? I hope you find the file that makes you sweep all the laptops off your desk and excitement. Thanks for having us. Jumbo, Tron's guide.

There's a Rhanna's message. Thanks, Gals. We have some things to promote, right, right? Yeah, right. We do have some things to promote. We've got a live show on June the 9th. At the Bell House. It's a Bell House.

Beautiful Brooklyn. That's sold out yet. Our early show is sold out. Our late show, the one at 10 p.m. is as of this taping, not sold out. Oh man, that one's gonna be dark and dirty, guys, cause that is 58. 58.

Darker. On 69, dudes. Oh boy, it's gonna be, if you ever want, you think this show's filthy with its talk of pre-com. That show is going to be super filthy, I'm gonna lay it shivered when I just say it. It's not a word I like. It's going to, I guarantee you.

Are you jackilet? No. You're the first one to say that. That's milded, Ellie. That was not like a thing that I liked. I guarantee you that everyone will leave that 50-shade starker show feeling gross and ashamed of themselves. And you don't want to get in the splash though

on that one. You want to stay near the back of the room. I mean, it's possible that we'll just lose control and the whole room will turn into an all out orgy of guys and black t-shirts. But probably not. Probably we'll all just feel gross because we'll say words that are disgusting

in front of people. And we have another show to promote, right? There's one in Philly. On July 16th. Philadelphia, the city of Big Sanwiches. That's part of the Philly pod fest. She's with Central. You got one?

Over the Philly pod fest, which our show will be part of on July 16th. That show is at eight o'clock, I believe. Yeah. I'm on a Sunday night, Janu, oh Janu, we're done July 16th. And I am going to be rushing to Philadelphia from my aunt's birthday party in Manhattan.

So, I'm gonna be there, and I have to make a real effort. So you guys better be there too. And by you guys, I mean the audience, and also Dan and Stuart. And I'm gonna be probably working through some kind of hangover. So, if you wanna do an Elliott Day in Philadelphia, here's what I recommend.

One, yeah, a cheesesteak. Two, go to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, go see the world's greatest collection of Marcel Duchamp's work, and also the statue that used to be on top of the old Madison Square Garden years and years ago. It shouldn't be in New York, but it's not. It's in Philadelphia.

Then kill some time for a few hours, and then come see us record a live episode of the flop house. Yeah, head down to that store, the Reliquary that sells heavy metal records and warhammer dudes. Yeah, go ahead, go for it. And so those are our plugs, those are our live shows, June 9th at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn, July 16th in Philadelphia, and I have a correction, guys.

I wanna start, when mistakes and things I say are pointed out to me online, I wanna start correcting them just to correct the record. So in the last episode, I erroneously credited Ann Hathaway with an Oscar win for Rachel Getting Married. In fact, it was Lamey's Auroblis that she won that Academy Award for. Yes.

So it's a correction from me. I apologize to anyone who was making an Anathwae Almanac and was misled by my incorrect memory. On a long overdue correction from me, of course Walter Hill did not direct midnight run. It was Martin Breast. Martin Breast. How could you forget him?

I guess his name was Martin but, so you'd remember. Well, we're doing corrections guys. I don't want to say anything, because I'm impressed. How could you forget him? I guess his name was Martin Butts, you'd remember. How long were you doing corrections guys? I don't want to say anything because I'm great and I never mess anything up. So I don't mean to shame you all. I mean, if anything, that's the greatest error of all. Yeah, that's something being too perfect. Yeah, exactly. That's what I say when I go to job interviews.

I work too hard. I think I draw. I hold myself to two highest standard. Also, I just care too much. I have this thing where I hold myself to too high a standard. Also, I just care too much. I have this thing where I've sex with couches in the office, but mostly it's that I work too hard and I hold myself to too high a standard. Yeah, I treat that couch super well afterwards.

Oh yeah, I make love to the couch. No, we have like brunch and stuff later. Yeah, yeah, and I give it, and then I give it a gift basket full of Derek Jeter memorabilia, as is the proper thing to do the next morning. Yeah Now is the time on the podcast where we answer letters from listeners like you Letters are as such This one's titled on butts and such it's from Justin last name with held. Hi Justin who writes

such. It's from Justin last name with held. Hi Justin. Who writes Justin Thoreau, star of TV's The Leftovers, would should not be left over this season. Who should watch it, I think. I actually don't though. I don't like that show. We ran on a real trip for that. Yeah. Man, I've roasted the city of Detroit and the TV show. Oh, you're gonna hate it. Who's toes you step on? You have no friends left. You know, as they say, the mark of a true journalist is when he dies and no one attends his funeral. Yeah. Dan, you got to make sure to tag this episode, bridge burn.

Just split this in the hot takes house. Yeah, yeah. Maybe like make the explicit tag super super super like cover with flames. Yeah. So what does Justin throw say on buts and such. I recently rewatched lethal weapon for the first time and probably a couple of decades and was disappointed to find that it did not live up to my childhood memories. Nonetheless, I was struck by how much nudity played

apart at the beginning of the movie. In the very first scene that half naked call girl does some poison drugs, proceeds to throw herself from the balcony of a condo. Hept to Murtal's family surprising him while he's taking a bath with a birthday cake. A close inspection. Why was he taking a bath with a birthday cake? It's weird. I think his wife was home. A close inspection of the water reveals he's not taking a lusher bubble bath. The water looks a little cloudy at best with some sparse

bubbles here and there. He's a cop. He's not made out of bubbles. So you know that his wife and kids can clearly make out his 50-year-old dong just under the surface of the water. It's seen as great because as a father, it perfectly shows that you're right to any sort of private space and the moment your kids can walk. Oh, believe me, that's the case. I have to use the toilet with my hand pressed up against the door to stop a three-year-old gremlin from pushing it open and wandering in to tell him. That's your fault for not having a lock on your door.

Well, that's the fault of my landlord for not putting locks on the door. I do that too because my cat mows if I don't let him in. I'll let him in and then muscles meows at me until I pet him. Then he falls down and if I keep petting him, he attacks me. If I don't keep petting him, he jumps up in a tax minute. It's a real damned if you do, damned if you don't, type thing. Uh-huh. Uh, he goes on.

Finally, the next scene we are treated to a lengthy dose of Mel Gibson's Aussie-ass cheeks. So I asked you. It used to be his fucking calling card, by the way. Yeah, he used to show his butt a lot. I asked you. When did he leave? Literally, he would leave his butt at the scenes of crimes that he committed. This is calling card. So I ask you, here's my butt.

When and why did our major motion pictures become so prudish, your most obedient and humble servant, Justin last name withheld? I would say that American movies go in cycles of liberty, age,ness and proodery. Going through the late 30s and 40s, you add from the 50s into the 60s and 70s and then back again. So by the time of, there was that period in the 80s when almost every comedy seemed to have nudity in it. And even some family movies had butt nudity in it.

Then by the late 80s, early 90s that was shifting away and you just had kind of action movies and thrillers would show boobs and now even that's pretty much gone away. And who knows, maybe it's sometime that'll change, but for some reason we are in a cycle, maybe it's changed a little bit for comedies. I think all helping answer this question guys, it's because of money. Yeah. Well, that's it.

They've got to attract as many people in the movie as they do. No, that's it they've got to attract as many people the movie as they know that's what I was gonna say I think that the eighties had an advantage because it was a time of like they had the advantage of relaxed standards and movies but by the time our time comes around people have worried so much about appealing to such a broad audience that it's all PG-13 stuff. Yeah, I'm going to paraphrase Director James Mangold, the director of Logan, a movie that I still haven't seen. I haven't seen you that. He was talking about, he was talking about that sort of thing, and he was talking about how movies, especially like big summer movies, have to appeal to the broadest audience possible.

And so that's basically like second graders and that when he was in second grade, his favorite TV show was Al. So that's basically a sign that he was an idiot when he was in second grade and that in general, I'm sorry. What are you saying about? I think I hate to correct you, Stuart, since as you pointed out, I don't know why you're shooting the messenger. As you as you have shooting me, as you pointed out, you've never made a mistake're shooting the messenger. As you, as you, as you pointed out, you've never made a mistake. I believed you're confusing what James Mangold said

with what Matt Singer said coming off of what James Mangold said. I could easily be doing that, that my least favorite movie critic, Matt Singer was saying. I said, Matt Singer, who's very bad at hero clicks my diet. You would know strangely. I would say there's also the international market

is not as welcoming to nudity as it once was years ago. I would because the international market... Send it over to Europe, I thought they're all like boobs and weeners. Well the international market used to be like Europe and now it's more Asia. And they're not into boobs and weeners? Not in the same way. Everyone has like every place has

its different things that they're okay with and not okay with. They are the best parts, Stewart. The best parts. But uh, the vote of the body or yeah. I would say it's a combination of things, but I do think I think we'll see that cycle turn again at some point as either movies become more of a niche thing and don't worry about capturing a mass audience anymore. First folks, LA predicts a return of nudity and stuff. Yeah, and then eventually a return of prudishness. As we have to appeal to aliens who don't want to see those disgusting human nude bits. Yeah, that makes sense.

This next letter is from Randall Lastname with Held who writes, Randall flag? Oh no, from the stand? I ended up checking out an old Hollywood auction catalog and loan behold I found a holy grail of yours the original weasel stand-in rehearsal puppet from who frame Roger Estimated it three to five thousand dollars reasonable. Yeah, that's not bad Which brings me to this question Besides the weasel. What is your true holy grail of movie props or memorabilia?

What movie item that you might encounter would tempt you to break the bank? I can only imagine the ding-dongs, sleds, and what nots that might do so. Thanks and please pass on my love for Archie Randall last name withheld. Interesting who asked this question? Randall? A Randall flight, that's right. It's interesting that the greatest villain in Stephen King's over would ask this question now, because there's something I've been thinking about lately, and actually I've been talking to my wife about, there is one thing that is,

I have never been able to justify the expense of, and yet, if I find one on the market again, I think I will go for it, because it's like this is the thing that's always been only on and that is that every now and then an original drawing from Gertie the Ninus or goes up on auction. This is the Windsor McKay cartoon from 1916, I think it was, and that he drew it all himself and because he didn't have cells, every drawing he did for it has the background, has everything. He drew thousands of drawings for this cartoon. And every now and then, an original frame from it,

or drawing from it, goes up for auction for like, for a while years ago, they were up for around $5,000. Lately, it's more like eight to 10. And it's like, I've always been like, I can't justify spending that much money on a drawing of a dinosaur. And yet, if I see it, but it's gone by so many times. And as I say to myself, it's partly an investment in value

in a piece of original art, but more than anything, it's something I want really badly. So if you flop house listeners, ever see a dirty dinosaur drawing up for auction somewhere, let me know because I want to buy one. Yeah, this is a tough question. I mean, I have a couple of answers. So like, let's assume there's a couple of holy grails for me.

Obviously, I want something that I'm gonna get a lot of use out of. So it would probably be either the snake skin jacket from Wildard Heart that's Sailorwares. Okay. It was a simple, it was an individual. It was an individual. It was an individual personal freedom. Yeah, as he says.

Or maybe a pair of sunglasses from they live, or the cat corpse from a reanimator. Would you settle for the cat corpse from a dog's purpose? Maybe. Can I scored it full of reagent? Probably. But I don't think my wife will let me display that one. But I think my number one would be the original puppet of the Lady Gremlin from Gremlins II, so I could give it a day and for a 10-year anniversary. They had that Stan Winston auction recently, and there's so much Gremlin stuff in it.

Yeah, you stole the thing that I was going to say, which was the Lady Gremlin? Not the Lady Gremlin specifically, but any original Gremlins puppet would be my thing. I'm surprised actually that Elliott didn't go for that. If you'll see, I had notes here, Gertie Dynastoresell and Grandma's puppet. And I decided, I decided to go with the one that I'm...

I'll have to, even if you have to stealth into Robert Picardo's home, like Ninja from Tenshu, the video game. And steal the, what you think, Robert Picardo has it, because he's stealing love with her. Yeah, he's still, how like, he met her once on the set of Grumman's doing, I had to take her home. And then they're in love forever. So you have to steal her. So real Kevin Klein Phoebe Kate situation. Like, like, like Paris and take her away to Dan's. like Paris and take her away to Dan's. That's true.

But yeah, if there was, like, there was that Stan Winston auction and they had a lot of Gremlins tomb stuff up. They had a Bat Gremlin. I think they had the Lady Gremlin. Yeah, electric Gremlin. Well, that was an animation, so no. But they had so many, and it was another one

where it was like, that was one where I can, I've talked to my wife about it. And she said like that, that greater the dinosaur thing, I know it means a lot to you. In the end, we can afford it probably someday and something that'll appreciate and value, like you should buy it, but the Gremlins puppet, and we can display that.

A Gremlins puppet, she's never gonna be okay with me displaying that. Like, can I put this bat monster up in the house? That's insane, that's an amazing thing to put in the house. I know, not until I have my own study slash office, where I'll put like a elephant skull, or something to do, not an elephant skull,

like a Tyrannosaurus skull. Yeah, thank you. I'll be off bidding for one against Nicholas Cage in Leotic Afrio. Yeah, like some kind of like a giant coin that's crossed like, crossed out on one side. Oh, yeah, to remember my many adventures.

Maybe like Jason Todd's. That's probably. I'll have my giant compenny, my giant dinosaur robot. Yeah, yeah, to remember my many adventures. Maybe like Jason Todd's I left my giant company my giant dinosaur robot Jason Todd's costume from after he died in a glass cylinder Yeah And a Grendel rose to skull and also Grendel prime This is from best lasting withheld who says a few nice things up top about how much she likes us, but let's get to the question. I have a question in response to Dan's recent recommended, I don't want to pat ourselves a little bit, but I smile.

No, no, why should we feel good about ourselves? We're separately and feel good about ourselves. Yeah, I have a question in response to Dan's recent recommendation, bless his heart. Recently, Dan recommended the film The Wonder Boys, based on Michael Shabons novel of the same name, well, it's just Wonder Boys. I read the book recently. Wow, okay. I'm not quite correct or straight.

I guess you didn't want to read those compliments so that you'd be feel better about slagging her? No, I just wanted to, yeah, I can't let it go. I read the book recently and really enjoyed it, but made the mistake of watching the film adaptation only a few days later. Having the novel so fresh in my mind, the film's collapsing of the plot for fewer characters, sadder dinners, and dead animals in the drunk seem like a waste. Have you ever seen a film adaptation of a novel too soon after reading the novel so it was impossible to see past the differences to enjoy the film?

Thanks so much. Best last name with hell. I mean for the longest time I've always liked for the longest time any time. You mean for the longest time. Yes, you're saying for the longest time. When I'd read a novel then watch a movie. I love it. Keep going. And then you'd see it. And then you read that book. Yes.

No, I would always be disappointed. Like I'd always read the book and then watch the movie and be disappointed. So I mean, this seems like an hobby, like most things, like it's not a surprise. But then, I mean, there is, I don't know if it was because like special effects or something started to catch up with catch up with my imagination but uh end exceeded yeah, um, but I think the most recent example of that was I I think it was I had read a LA confidential and then rewatched the movie because

book And I remember loving the movie when it came out But watching it right after reading the book it seemed so much smaller and like a Like a Hollywood movie like it it seemed less of what it should have been I Even though the movie the Princess bride is a terrific movie, that's crazy. I read the book so much as a kid that I couldn't, like, fully embrace the movie. Like, I love the movie.

Don't get me wrong, but I, like, there's so much stuff that I miss in the book, like, that they couldn't do in the movie. Like, there's no, like, there's no way that they could do the whole conceit of the book, which is that they took an old book that had all these boring bits and cut out all the boring bits and just had the good parts and William Goldman's dad only read him the good parts of the book. This is his abridged version of this old history that he used to have, Regiome. And there's stuff in there like, there's the zoo of death sequence in the book

that is cut out for the movie, where Prince Humbertink has this zoo of all the other animals that he's captured that in ego and and a phesic have to go through to get to find the body of Wesley. And it's an exciting sequence. And there's all this stuff that I just missed from the movie, you know, like the book that's on the movie.

Well, you're saying as Peter Jackson should have directed it because then he would have included everything. Yeah. I mean, that's just the thing about like books versus movies. There's always going to be more in the book. I occasionally, uh, it's, it's rare that there's more in the movie, like in terms, I would say that like the Godfather, there's not more plot-wise in the movie than the book, but there's more thematically.

Right. And it's certainly a deeper movie than it is book. And then like there are all those like Hitchcock movies that were made out of like short stories. Well, but those that it ended up being so far from the, like Vertigo is such a beautiful movie, but it's so far from the original source material. He would, he would, he would, He would, we've talked about movies

that end up being better or as good as books many times on the show. Yeah, that's true. It's a tale as old as time. I prefer that, I actually, weirdly enough prefer the Lord of the Rings movies to the books and, and like, I think I prefer the I actually, weirdly enough, prefer the Lord of the Rings movies to the books and and like I think I prefer the scanner dark a scanner darkly movie to the book. Really?

I think so. I think it I think it makes a little more sense. If anything, I think they work well together. Okay. I'll see that. I have how many letters do we have left? I got one really quick letter for you, Elliot. Here's a really quick letter for me. It's Elliot's time to shine. Sorry guys, step aside, cause it's Elliot's time. Elliot's time for a quick letter just for Elliot. We'll need to Elliot, how much they like Elliot. We'll they tell Elliot that he kinda smells it. We'll they tell Elliot that he kind of smell it? Will they tell Elliot to go to hell?

It's the only one way to find out which is let Dan read this letter for Elliot. Elliot. That's me. Elliot. Elliot. Me. Elliot. Elliot. That's me. Hey guys, it's me. Elliot here and I just found out there's a letter from me here. What's the name of a space station? It better rap, right? It would have been if I knew what I was doing. So let's get to that letter for Elliott. Let's take to the streets and demand and read it. Let's call our senators and representatives and say,

Hey, damn me, that letter for Elliott. Stop hiding Elliott under a bushel. Get that letter out. Let's say it. Let's hear it. Let's put it in lights in the sky. Let's read it up all over the place. Read it here.

Read it there. TV radio, young newspapers. Maybe on the internet too. Tweet it out Instagram, Facebook, Periscope. Okay, it's time. I'm at the big finish, okay? So let's get that letter reading. Let's get it going before it's snowing.

Damn read that letter out now for Elliott, Elliott, Elliott. Hey, that's me. All right, this is from Kayla Blas name with Hell. That sounds like Kaelin, which is my name. It's titled Elliott WTF. Hey, wait a minute, hold on a second. It sounds like Kaelin, which is my name. It's titled Elliott WTF. Hey Elliott. Wait a minute, hold on a second, it sounds like a hit job. Hey Elliott, just finished that time travelers episode of the new MST3K.

I was excited to finally have an excuse to watch that terrible movie again because I had remembered the vast majority of the movie being insanely boring until the last two to three minutes or so when it gets bonkers. The film literally starts fast-forwarding itself through the entire narrative in order to show the time loop the main characters encountered. Then the episode ended without the fast-forwarding bit. Granted, at the solid two minutes of runtime, they might prove hard to fill the jokes, but I was surprised nonetheless. I mean that ending is easily the craziest thing about that movie, right? Caleb last

name withheld. I mean, here's the dirty secret of mystery time, 60,000. We gotta cut the movies down to 70 minutes. We can't show the whole movie because we gotta have room for the other bits, the host statements, and things like that. So sometimes maybe your favorite scene gets cut out. There was a whole monster that got cut out

of Wizards of Lost Kingdom 2. Hey, you gotta make your choices. So I'm sorry about that, but hey, how about that sweet cameo on the time travelers episode by me, Elliot Kaelin in the part of Dr. Varno, the intergalactic libertine. Yeah, that was pretty great. Yeah.

Oh man, my favorite outfit I've ever worn. It looked like very comfortable pajamas. Oh, it was very comfortable. Do you have to take that costume home with you? No, unfortunately. But I wore it all day, even while I was eating lunch. I just imagine it was like a big, like, submarine sandwich with like, marinara sauce, squirting out of it.

You know that outfit. Yeah, with a, with a giant bib that has its own face on it. That's right. Here's a little Easter egg for people. Maybe you can put it on my goose page and I'm DB. Are you sure it's an Easter egg and not a critter egg? It might be a critter egg, so don't hatch it. It might be an alien egg, so don't lean over it

because the face hogger will plug your face. I've never, ever, ever lean over eggs in the alien. I don't look cause they're opening up, and they're like, maybe it pretty flowers in this. Or a new pet, take a look and see how I don't know what to do with my arm in that scene. So I just kind of have it cocked at an angle, doing nothing for a long time.

You think if Peppula Poo was the alien you first. Okay, keep talking. I like where this is going. Because he's always like taking time to smell them flowers. He's totally a little chess person wrap around his face. Here's what would happen. Well, the chess person doesn't wrap around your face.

The face hugger does. Chess Berster, as the name implies, burst from your chest. Okay, that's what from your chest. So thanks for playing. Here's the home game. It's called loser of the game. Is there a resale value on this thing? Zero dollars to pay someone to take it actually. Now here's the thing. Here's what would happen in what I'm going to call alien six sentimental aliens. Sentimental is spelled S-C-E-N-T-Dash-E-Mental. Oh. And that a, the facehugger escapes from the egg,

but then some white paint falls on its back. Uh-huh. And that, and Pépilope, thinks that Facehugger is a beautiful lady's gunk, and he is trying to fuck it. Yeah, of course he is. Yeah, because he's Pépilope, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's a rapist. Uh, okay. What a great note to end on that segment. Yeah, of course he is. Yeah, because he's Peppie LePue. He's the, he's the, he's the rapist. Okay, what a great note to end on that segment. Let's recommendations, Simon.

It's very, very nice. My recommendation is called for sentimental reasons, the first Peppie LePue cartoon. Okay. Oh, wow. Now, Peppie LePue is a sentimental spell. SCNT-emental. Now in this cartoon, we see Peppie LePue

not punished for his actions, which leads to future cartoons. Because he learns this is just how male skunks are expected to behave. Any zero peons, so people kind of give him a pass. Yeah, because he's got an accent, people like it's charming. Come on. Remember the movie French kiss. And then now the people are like, no, I don't remember that movie. And they are then, now that people are like, no, I don't remember that movie. That's Kevin Klein in it. Yeah. So, recommendations of movies that we've seen recently or not that we recommend instead

of watching a dog's purpose. You know what? We're not all haters. No, we love things too. Dan, here's an editor on a, when you say movies we've seen recently or not, you could just say movies. Well, I'm just, I'm trying to indicate that we, these are usually movies that we've watched recently, but they don't have to be.

Yeah, sometimes we just don't see a movie we liked that much in the time between episodes. Yeah. But I did, but Dan, you go first. I'm going to recommend a movie that definitely needs all the help we can get. It is certainly not a worldwide box office smash. And it's not a movie that I'm recommending just because it's the only other movie that I've seen in between times. Is it Castle Creek?

And that is Guardians of the Galaxy two volume, too, which I enjoyed. I hope to see that some fight a bit. It was a. I enjoyed it almost as much, if not as much as the first version of that movie, the first version of that movie. Is this a remake already? The first installment of that series. Here's what I say about the Guardians movies. They actually make me feel a little bit more than the other Marvel movies like I watch Marvel movies more than Iron Man 3. I watch Marvel movies and I'm like I'm talking shit about Iron Man 3 dude. I didn't like it. I watch these movies and I'm

in adventure and a fucking looting. It's not what I wanted from an Iron Man movie. I'm saying is I watch these movies and I feel like the emotions of rills. Okay. I feel some laughter chills, but I don't actually feel like. What about automobiles? I don't feel any like actual

pathos or empathy or engagement with the characters really. Any other ones you're saying. Any of the other ones. But Guardians of the Galaxy, like I find that I actually have emotional reactions to these films that as silly as they are and they're they work very hard to be irreverent. Also at the end of Guardians 2, I found myself like I've been taking on an emotional journey.

There's not tell me what happens in the movie or at the end. What I will tell you is that I already know too much about new characters. I will tell you that Michael Rooker's really great, man. Okay, you have to tell me that. I just assume it. Come on.

In fact, this fucking movie features a cliffhanger, fucking reunion is amazing. Yeah, that's pretty nice worth making the film for. And a tango cash reunion, right? And it kind of I mean, they're not in the same same. Yeah, I don't want to be there, not in the same. That's disappointing. And Michael Rooker's great.

The best part about seeing that movie with my wife was me afterward to me, being like, man, Michael Rooker's so great. And my wife's like, well, movies is in. And I started listening movies and she had not seen a single one. Yeah. She's not a big Henry fan. Yeah. Did she like him in this movie? Uh, yeah, she liked him a lot.

Okay. My, the, the, the Guardians movies are definitely, uh, Charlene's favorite Marvel property. I think mine is still, I still like the Captain America movies the most. I think it's because every time that Chris Evans does stuff I'm like, oh man, what a great guy. Now we talking about just Marvel Studios movies or any Marvel character. That's what I'm doing right now. Okay. What would you say if it was only any Marvel character? Well Spider-Man and specifically Spider-Man 2. That's a great one. That's good. That's just great. That's still my favorite superhero movie. That movie still my favorite superhero movie.

That movie features my favorite thing in a superhero movie when Peter Parker doesn't have powers. He walks past a alleyway where some good stuff goes to the moon. Get him out of the guy and the guy just goes, hey, help! It just keeps on walking. Oh, it's so fucking funny. That movie is one speech too long, but otherwise that's a movie where I genuinely like, there's a couple scenes in that movie that I find so beautiful on an emotional and an allegorical

level that I don't think it's a match for me. After watching that movie part of it's like, okay, somebody figured out how to do superhero movies, we don't ever have to do them again. Yeah, kind of. Certainly, we don't have to make, although I like the lot of Spider-Man 3, I have to say, but they didn't have to make it. I like all the Marvel movies just fine, but like they don't necessarily fulfill a, they don't like, fill a void that was not existed. I feel weird saying this. I've been thinking about it a lot lately that like, I'm kind of sated by the bite. There's more, there's more Marvel entertainment content available now than I have an appetite for,

which has never been the case in my entire life before this. The way I like, there's so many Marvel TV shows and so many Marvel movies and still their comics. And it's like, you know what world? You're just producing more Marvel stuff than I need. You've been reading the comics pretty steadily though, right? I mean, I'm behind at this point because I don't have the time to read them as much, but I've been reading Marvel comics for over 20 years, 25 years, straight, you know? I mean, I kind of gave up on Marvel comics in high school,

so the movies at this point fill that void for me of like, oh, I can see two to three of these movies a year. I think I'm moving towards that. That's two hours at a time, like even if it's a little longer, I don't really give a shit. Especially though as the movies are moving into this new phase where they're not introducing the characters as much.

So I don't have to sit through, like I started watching Dr. Strange and I just couldn't sit through it because I was like, maybe I'll skip an hour into the movie. I was like, I was watching the movie and you're like, this movie has the best cast of any of these movies. I am dead inside and don't want to watch this movie anymore because Mads Mikkelson and Scott Ed gets scenes together.

Well, no. It was like, I don't need to see another character discover that there's a larger world of mystery and fantasy outside of his little life. I thought the movie did it pretty fast enough that I didn't, I wasn't too bothered by it. Yeah, I'll give it another shot. This is entirely... Dr. Strange came my favorite movie or nothing, but I thought it was pretty.

This is entirely a fault with not with the movie, just in my, this is just me accepting the movie at this point in my life, but I like that when I go see Garden of the Galaxy 2, I'm not going to have to deal with a lot of like, who's this guy? Time for me to show you my power. What aliens exist? Any of that stuff. Why is B's hanging upside down in the sea? Kelsey Grayerer is all furry now.

So, Stu, I'm going to be, you're going to recommend. G-O-ToTG2. I'm gonna recommend a movie that a buddy in mine will recommend it. It's a... We'll learn it. So this is a movie that I gotta do a little bit of a qualification at the beginning because there's a movie called Hounds of Love.

It's in theaters right now and it's on to me. Based on the Kate Bush album. And it's a... I don't know, I think I may just be going through a weird phase lately where a lot of the media I take in features, a lot of violence against women and a lot of sexual violence, or maybe it's just... It's a weird thing to say. Like, you're going through a weird thing right now where that's what... No, I'm just saying, like, maybe I just hit a patch where, like, I'm watching the handmaid

and then watching fucking room these other days. It's very much a thread that's running through a lot of movies and TV shows now. I mean, on one hand, like, I understand, like, it's a fucking... I don't want to put myself in a weird position or anything, but like, I mean, it's just the sort of thing where it's like, if every piece of media I take in features like, like that kind of violence and like sexual violence as a common thread, it's so, it's so crushing reasonably so. But I do wanna recommend this movie, Hounds of Love.

It's an Australian thriller, fairly, it's a debut movie from a director. I believe the director is a guy named Ben Young. And it's loosely based on a couple in Australia in the 80s who were abducting young women, abusing them and then killing them. And the movie deals with, I feel like, despite the fact that it's, I believe it's a male director, it focuses on the women involved in this process, whether it's a woman who's abducted It focuses on the women involved in this process, whether it's a woman who's abducted or recently divorced mother, or specifically the woman that is in this relationship with a partner who are going through the like the the process of abducting and killing women. It focuses on these women

and their abusive relationships and it's it's not an easy watch in any way but if you are willing to put yourself kind of through a difficult experience, I think it's worthwhile. It's beautifully shot. A lot of the more violent parts and a lot of the more difficult to watch stuff is off screen. You don't actually see it. And the performance from, I don't remember a name like, but the woman who plays the partner in the serial killer relationship gives such like an amazing performance that we've already mentioned Henry Port of the serial killer,

but I feel like it's Michael Rooker level, like chilling and I don't wanna say sympathetic because that's not how it is, but it's like humanizing and it's a great performance. So Hounds of Love, if you're looking for something it's gonna be a little difficult to watch, check it out. I'm gonna recommend a movie that is not difficult to watch and it's called a dog's purpose. Oh, really?

No, not a difficult thing to watch. Actually, it was pretty boring. I'm going to recommend a movie that I watched recently and that I liked. That's a movie called 20th Century Women by my, directed and written by Mike Mills, who also did the movie beginners which I liked and beginners was very much Mike Mills making a movie about his dad I guess this is more a movie about his mom and stars net bending and alphanning and Greta Growig and Billy Crudup and some kid and it is about a guy growing up as a teen in the late 70s with an older mom who is single who runs this crazy house that has a bunch of people staying there who are all kind of dealing

with their things. And it's a movie that at times is a little chewy, but I really liked the relationship with the characters. We mean, Ellen. A precious, you know, a little too precious at times. But everything looks amazing in it. It's a fantastically shot movie and it's got that California light that seems very specific to the area it's set in,

which I'm looking forward to enjoying. Now that I'm going to be living in California. And at the same. Great bragging. And also has a lot of fun. You just overcomsating him, probably in his beloved New York. I am, it's upsetting to me.

And has a lot of great, fucking shitty bagels with avocados on them. It is a lot of great late 70s kind of punk and art rock and affiliated rock songs on the soundtrack. And I really liked a lot. That was really good. 20th century women, about a young boy and the women in his life.

All right. Hey, we talked about a thing. You know, we definitely talked about a thing and taped it. So I guess mission accomplished, right? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we did what we set out to do I apologize that I recommended 20th century women were really going out with a whimper not a bang it seems really took the really took the air out of the room by recommending a

movie I liked a lot I got this mission accomplished banner let me should I just hang it on the wall okay put on helmet yeah I want to look like a tough boy tough boy it sounds like a really low rent orn mag. Tough boys or just tough boy. That's all nude guys with one helmet on. They just share the helmet. I talked about that book. My ex-girlfriend's sister took from the Vanity publisher called Pig Boys, right?

Nope. Yeah, she worked for this vanity publisher. I didn't even know if I had. And this priest published this, a couple of copies of this book of photos of boys just like dude, like young dude, just like playing around with the mud and shit. And it's called pig boys. And the idea was that like there's a definition up front where it's just like, pig boys are boys are just like having fun and like getting a little bit dirty

But the apparently the guy didn't realize well When pressed didn't believe that it was sexual in nature, but it was super weird the guy who made the book made the book My my girlfriends of my girlfriend sister kept a copy of the book because it was insane. Like it feels like this sort of thing where like, I, I, I, ST would show up and be like, would use it as evidence and a few in, in a long order in a SVU. I mean, I guess on that note, we can sign off. For the flop outs, I've been Dan McCoy. Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington.

Keep listening, Dylan on the subscribe. And I'm kind of curious about the Pink Boy lifestyle right now. I'm Elliot Kaylen. You can add everyone. Do you want me to tell you the part that actual time? No, no, I got it. So was it a dog's purpose or it was not the dog's purpose, right? A dog's person.

A dog's person. Persons. A dog's perseus. What if all the Greek mythic logical characters were dogs? I think it would go a little something like this. Bro, fun zoos. Bro, bro. It's me.

I will come into you like a shower of gold. It's me, Barca-Clease. Terrible. And I'm the God of the Sea, Poseidog. I love to dog paddle after balls that are floating in the water and bring them back. Yep. Alright. It's me, God of the Underworld, hey dogs.

Yep. It's me, Afrodog-T. Here's Cerberus, my three-headed human that guards the gates of my realm. What? Ha-ha-ha. Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture, artist-owned Listener-supported.

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