The Flop House - Ep.#233 - The Comedian

Episode Date: June 10, 2017

We discuss the most accurate and hilarious movie about stand-up ever made, The Comedian. Meanwhile Dan starts off the show by being gross, Stuart reveals his favorite kind of turtle, and Elliott tells us about a few nursery rhyme comedians. Apologies for the continued low Stuart audio. We're trying to get to the bottom of it. Wikipedia synopsis for A The Comedian Movies recommended in this episode: We Are Still Here She Wore a Yellow Ribbon The Muppet Movie LIVE SHOW ALERT! We'll be at the Alamo Drafthouse Brooklyn, riffing over Nic Cage's Stolen on June 22 at 7:30 pm. Also, we’ll be at the PHILLY PODCAST FESTIVAL on July 16th at 8:30 pm!

On this episode we discuss the comedian. What's the deal with airline food? Am I right? Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house I'm Dan McCoy. Hey what's going on Dan I'm Stuart Wellington. Hey Dan and Stu I'm Elliot Kaelin and hey, get this. I'm gonna see you over there, Elliot. Get this. Hey, you talking to me? Who am I? Who am I?

You talking to me? Hey, I'm a young Don Corleone. You're my friend Elliot. No, no, who am I? Who am I? Okay. I'm the fan. You're my friend Elliot, who I've known for like a decade.

Who am I? Hey guys, bang the drum slowly. I don't, I was one, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Stuart, you guess. Okay, who am I? Uh, Hey, I'm meeting my new son-in-law. I'm the parent. That is meeting me. I know I'm going to meet the blockers. But I think I got to the destination.

Okay, so who am I? You're your Bobby D. Robert De Niro. That's right. Thanks for picking up this lag, Dan. Are you, do you know what impressions are? Uh, I think it's a pretty spot on Robert De Niro impressions. That's right. Thanks for picking up the slack. Dan, do you know what impressions are? It's a pretty spot on Robert Neumann impressions. Impressionists were a group of French artists, mostly, who used lobs of painting. Globs of painting? Globs of painting to make their paintings.

And oh boy. Can I take your history of Western art course, Tim? Sure. It's mostly old playboys. Students, please turn to the turn-ons and turn-offs of May 1974. Let me direct your attention to National Lampoon magazine, the magazine that proved you can have a boner in life at the same time. That day, and I really want to see you teaching lecturing about Playboy, and you're like, as we can see here, these models are truly as the cover promises wet and wild. Turning to the next example.

Now, whether or not these models have a college degree as is suggested by the girls of the Southern colleges, the girls of the Southern colleges. I mean, they're still in school at this point, right? That's part of the attraction. I guess so. I don't have a degree at all, Dan. Yeah, all right. What if they're in their school for their graduate?

Maybe they're graduates. You're saying that part of the attraction is that they're working for their education. And get up and go, spirit. But, yeah, yeah, it's part of what sexy about them is that they're not yet these kind of like conformist, fully formed like B-boop, I am a I have just a worker and I have my career.

So they're my brand of fancy vodka. They're not spent robots. Yeah, they're at this point in their lives when like the future is ahead of them. They can take any path and they're learning about the great thinkers and thoughts of Western and Eastern civilization, frankly. Dan, why should it just be this Eurocentric crisis of the West-type syllabus when there's so much thought coming out of, say, China or the African nations, that India, that they could easily find to open their minds and open their lives so that when they take off their clothes in front of a photographer for it to be airbrushed later for the profiteering

of an old man who takes pills so that he can have sex with four blonde women who are not enjoying themselves at once in a smelly rundown old house. Why? That they won't mean something. I'm not arguing against this. If a model wants to subscribe to the Taoist principle of the Uncarved Block, I say, great, go for it. You're saying you want to carve that block?

Okay, we've been gross. This has been a gross way to start this episode. So guys, let me just throw a flag on this play. There's officially a no-bose zone. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no bozos. So we were being bozos before now, it's a no-bosos. I apologize for our bozacity. It's okay. Dan, what are we doing this podcast aside from being bozos and then feel bad about our bozonus?

It's a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. And tonight we watched a movie that made me angry. Not angry. Nope. I had a nice meal. Yeah, I didn't take your food away. But the movie didn't reach out into the physical world and steal your food like some kind of stay tuned. The anger remained, however.

Yeah, the anger was there. And we watched it. We watched a movie called the comedian. Starlight. This is the movie in which which manages to reunite Robert Nero with both his Mean Streets co-star Harvey Kytel and has analyzed this co-star, Billy Crystal, and a chief in here. None of what either of those movies tries to do. If you're listening to this podcast and you saw the title of the episode and you're like, the comedian, huh? This must be like one of those WTF with Mark Marin episodes. It is not. This is a movie starring Robert Nero.

Except Dan, you were going to talk about your cat and some out of town shows you played for about 10 minutes, right? Yeah. And, uh, and just like some general, like, grousing and talk about my therapy, tells about stamps.com. And let me just press the 15 second skip forward button a hundred times so I can throw it. And we're clear and we're done. Great. Okay.

Now we're into your extremely interesting interview with Stevie Van Sant So what was it like making the sopranos you didn't train as an actor. I mean that's nice Incorrect So the comedian is what kind of movie would you say this is a comedy? I call it a dramedy. Because the title makes me think it's going to be a comedy. I would say it's serial comic. Well, it's full of serial. It's a serial comic like, you know, the Coco Pops guy. Really funny. Super funny guy. If you seen his showtime special. Yeah, it's inside the Kuku mind of the Kuku Bucks guy. Inside the Kuku mind. That's the bird fellow, right?

Yeah, it's the bird fellow. I think you just say bird. It's so sweet. I mean, do you think there's some kind of okay, this guy's love chocolate get this guys They don't get this guys. Maybe they do. I don't know it. There's okay. There's a club for bird comedians Two can Sam hangs that they're the Coco Pops cuckoo and it's called the flyers club Shit, that's amazing I guess we can just shut it down now. Yeah, I think we achieved our work on this earthly flame. Yeah.

Lord, take us. Yeah. Lord, take all my earthly possessions so I can dedicate the rest of my life to building the flyers, as well. So the comedian, at a attempt at a comedy, got dramatic elements and the why don't we the reason this movie seemed irresistible to us. We have to give a tip of the hat to one Nathan Raven. Yeah, one in Raven who wrote about it on his website.

Lasting with hell. And even his description of it in many ways failed to prepare me for the movie that we were about to say and how what a meandering piece of unfunny work it is. So what an unfunny piece of work is man. How ignoble and reason. I don't know how it goes. Luckily it's only an hour's.

I just gave I bet a lot of that one. I'm sorry for talking over you Dan. Now that's a rough day you know. Yeah. Tell us about your bed. I just moved apartments and I spent most of the day like putting up blinds and hanging some drapes. And I just, I just lost all the windows.

I think the windows are taking care of. The most of the apartment is a mess. I guess they will go. Well, he lives in the Peeping Tom District. So like when I picked up that Power drill and I wrapped my thingies around it and I'm just like more power am I right? And then and then what did you know? That's how it goes. That's how Jim Allen's catch phrase goes. Let's talk about the comedian. A movie that stars Robert Geniro as the titular comedian. And now this is, here's something I want to get off

the off of my chest right away. It's a spider. It's on me now. Here's something I want to get off my chest right away. I love comedy. I love stand-up comedy. I think there may be few things I find less entertaining in a movie than scenes of people performing stand-up comedy. Wait, you don't like it when they run through a montage of stand-ups doing three seconds of material to wild applause from the audience and orgasmic response. I think maybe that's it is that you just get a snippet of a joke, not even a whole joke a lot of the time. And then they cut to an audience response

that is rarely connected to what you've just seen in the movie We Watched Mother's Day a few episodes ago. There was a similar thing where people were performing stand-up comedy and the audience were just, I guess the director just told them like, laugh big.

This is the funniest thing you've ever seen and they're like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. To every joke. Not every joke is meant to elicit that kind of laugh. It's like you're in Cape Fear trying to ennol. Another Robert DeMiro movie. Look, I just like to imagine what would burlives sound like

if he thought something was really funny. And he was also Santa. So can you think of a movie? A good way to get another Robert to your movie in there. Let's see if we can get some more here. Okay. I know, Dan, you have some tip of your tongue. What is a movie with a great standup performance in it?

I don't say any murvy delirious because that's a whole standup. You know, there was that movie, uh, chocolates, and you're making that. Okay. Um, you know, there was that movie, uh, uh, choclers, and think you're making that one. Okay. Laffy Taffy. Nope. That's a candy. What was that movie where Julie Cavner became a standup comic?

Dokesies. Oh, I like the, uh, Dan Acroids in it too, I think. I like, I don't know that one. I think I like to remember liking the standup bits and obvious child. Okay, I'll give you that. I feel like in obvious child, those standup scenes feel like you're actually watching the standup act.

Yeah, and it also feels like if I remember correctly, it feels like it was tied to the events of the film. Yes, it felt a little more organic, and also they kind of, I think, have the laughs underplay a little bit, like genuinely funny jokes, kind of a little bit organic and also they kind of, I think, have the laughs underplay a little bit, like genuinely funny jokes, kind of a little bit of a response, which I'll totally accept much more than a movie. I'd much rather the movie air in that direction. Yeah, you'll allow it. Because in this movie, Robert and you're

gonna play as a comedian who is not funny at all. But if you are a member of any of the audiences in the movie, you are watching... It's kind of like a roast comedian, right? Yeah, he's like kind of a filthy, just kind of like complains about everything. Yeah, roasty, like... Well, it's not like he's doing like storytelling or slice life.

It's always like talking about being old and having your balls drag along the ground and shit. Yeah, it's not even like observational. It's like, let me tell you a marriage. Oh boy. Hope you're like getting fucked or some kind of stupid thing. Like, there's one funny joke in the home movie,

in it turns to the stand-up act. Stuart was out of the room when it happened and Dan and I both laughed at it where Robert De Niro and this will not make sense in context either is he's at his brother, Danny DeVito's daughters wedding, his daughter is a lesbian and she's getting married in an incredibly over the top lavish Jewish wedding.

I guess it's not incredibly over the top lavish, but it's just like everything's super glossy, but it's one of those like a big Brooklyn Queens wedding halls. And it's like the grand prospect hall. They're making their dreams come true. Similar places. Yeah. Yeah're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true.

They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true.

They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true.

They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. They're making their dreams come true. He's standing between these two enormous chairs that the bride and bride were sitting in, and he just kind of, it goes like, these chairs aren't big enough. And that was by far the funniest joke in the home movie. But anyway. You know what, it was funny, because it was true. It was so, it was very, it was, I mean, it was not. Those were very big chairs.

It was the only time in the movie you felt like a comedian was observing a real thing that was absurd and commenting on it in a way that was not like. You all understand what big chairs are like. Yeah, and commenting on it in a way that it was not over the top like, ooh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, let's talk about the plot. So Robert and Nero plays, do we have to, we have to, oh, oh, yeah, that's the kind of joke they do in the movie. Play as Jackie Burke in aging comedian, he's Robert and Nero, he's not playing the young up and coming comedian.

The man's in his 70s, I think. Maybe since his late 60s, Dan, how old is Robert and Nero? Just guess all the top of your head. 412. I mean, he's probably, yeah. He's fucking cut though, right? Like Robert's in your own? Just guess all the top of your head. 412. I mean, he's probably, yeah. He's fucking cut though, right? Like, he's in good shape. And well, he actually is in pretty good shape.

He's like popping down like, I wish I could do that. No, that's exactly where I was going Dan So thanks for rec thanks. Sorry. We're stealing my jack b nimble joke Jackie been a little jack he's like Jackie b nimble a comedian his big act involves being quick and jumping over a candlestick And he's mad he has has a rivalry with fellow kid, nursery round comedian, Jackie Horner, who sits in the corner, eating a pudding and pie. He puts in his thumb and pulls that up plum.

And his punchline, he says, what a good boy am I? The audience is eat it up just like he eats up that plum. Jack Spratt, he has a duel. He do have a comedy duo. Yeah, one of them get this is super fat. No, and he can, and she can eat no lane. Oh, but Jack he's super thin. Okay. Mm-hmm. I'm looking. He can eat no fat. Oh, that's pretty good. But between the two of them get this. They look the platter queen.

Well, there's also this trapeze act sister brother and sister Jack and Jill. They go up a hill. The story is they're fetching a pillow of water, then Jack falls down, it's a tumbling duo, and Jill falls after crowns are broken. Hearts sore. And funny bones are tickled. Yeah, this is all one show. It's a huge show.

It was a benefit for Mr. Coyd, I believe. You mean surprise. And the things, little Ms. Muffet can do with her toughest. You know what I mean? That's more of a like, uh, That's an after-dark. That's the kind of show that sailors go to, on shore, leaving, Havana.

Mm-hmm. Uh, anyway, he's Jackie Burke. He's an agent comedian who in the 80s played a kind of like, album-dead type, like, not PC dad. Yeah. Uh, on a show called Eddie's home. It looked like maybe it was like, yeah, it was either, uh, yeah, a fuck. What married with children or was like a normal lear style comedy?

It looked like they were trying to have it kind of both ways. Yeah. But, uh, I mean, I mean, Albani is essentially, now I can't remember, Carol Conner in all the family. That's true. What's his character's name? With less. No, but what's his character's name? Archie Bunker.

Thank you. Oh, that's who you're named to cat after. So anyway, because you believe with his politics, he's essentially like a non-politically relevant Archie Bunker. Yeah, and I mean, like, grosser. I mean, they could get away with more. He's flushing toilet just sticking his hand in his pants.

Man, man, man, look. He's always no man in it, it's founding the Church of No Man. Now, one of the things that bugs me and my wife is better than my wife's boyfriend. My wife and I talk about. This bunny, I'm just trying to kill him with my rifle and he's bugging me.

Luckily, sometimes this duck comes along and convinces me to shoot him in the face. In the first season of Married with Children, Kelly Bundy was just a slut. Okay. But in the second season, I don't like the terminology. But like that's how they like, I mean, that's obviously shorthand. Yeah, it stands for sexually libidinous, underwhelming talent. Wow. But in the, which is strange, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, It took at least some of the onus away from her. Like if she was, she doesn't know any better. That was the kind of the thing they were doing. She's like a character out of like a playboy cartoon

who's just kind of falling into bed and is constantly being tricked by horny old men. She doesn't know any better. That's a plot. Ribbled Henry Fielding novel. Oh, thanks for class, Nate of Dan. But it's also something that happens to sit comes with the characters kind of get dumber

over time. Like Homer Simpson at this point, I don't know how he can breathe. And you look even at like a show like a rest of development, the characters got pretty dumb in the fourth season. Like Archer, the character's got fairly dumb as the show went on. Like the characters can never grow or the show ends.

So they just got, but you have to justify them not changing after years of the same problems. So they get stupider over time. Yeah. Unless it's a show line, my court, which just continues to be perfect from episode one to episode 100. Yeah. Everyone a multifaceted jewel. It's truly the Eugene O'Neill of sitcoms. Anyway, because he wrote a couple episodes. Yeah. So Jackie Burke, he was on this show. Eddie's only the Ed O'Neill star of Mary to the children.

Eugene O'Neill, probably not. But you never know, possibly they're both real O'Neill's, I don't know. And so it's hard for him to get out of the shadow of this character. He's struggling in his manager, Edie Falco, who is the daughter of his original manager. And the daughter of a saloon. Sorry, go on. Her dad was recording star Falco. Yeah.

Who did the song Rock Me Amadeus. Yeah, Austria's shining sun. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I agree with everything you're saying. I remember when he died and the king of Austria said the sun has set on our fair duchy. And then Austria blacked out the sun over their entire nation. Yeah, they put a tarp over it. Yeah, they squirted Mozart, Google, nothing to the sky.

And that's what inspired the song black hole son. Oh, I think you're going to say that's what inspired the song passed the dutchie on the left hand side Okay Is it tuned out for a little They're the word dutchie and I mm-hmm sure anyway Jackie were three seconds into this movie Jackie Burke is not very successful these days, but he gets that he a misfortune turns into fortune when while he's performing at a very underattended oldies show at an outer burrow. There's tons of jazz in this movie too. Hey,

you know what makes me think about New York in the 21st century and comedy and comedy jazz? Because you know who's the only comedian ever in history Woody Allen and so every comedian is just like him and they all love jazz and they're all old in New York right now. That's a real jazz bows which I guess is what jazz is short for. I don't know. I just read that. Is it racist? I don't know. It sounds like it sounds racist doesn't it? Yeah it does. Now I feel bad about saying it but it was just a bunch of gibberish that I came up with. Sure it was, Dan. Yeah, gibberish hurts. Gibberish does hurt. Okay, so. That's the fucking summary of this dumb podcast. Well, he's let me get through the first scene of the movie. Well, he is, I guess the first

scene is just being on the way to this show. While he's performing, a guy in the audience starts heckling him. It turns out he and his wife have snuck in their own camera and they are recording a video podcast called Stand Up Take Down where they just go and heckle stand up comedians. It doesn't seem sustainable. You'd feel like Word would pass around the New York stand up community that these jerks are going around ruining acts and then putting the video up online. At least it would be mentioned on like split-sider, you know, or something like that. Yeah, everyone's favorite comedy ray. And, but and Jackie does not

like this. He goes deep into the crowd, gets into a physical scuffle with this man over the control of the microphone and hits the man in the face of the microphone to the point that blood is pouring out of the man's orifices This one is performing that old-timers night where for some inexplicable reason there's a large bachelor at party Yes, because that's defining comedy clubs And it appears to be on a weeknight as well Now I haven't... And it's raining

Yeah, I haven't I haven't tread the boards guys as a standup. But I would imagine that the club would be somewhat responsible for providing some level of security to prevent people from videotaping like a standup take down. I would think so. I would think that they would not. I mean, it is a real problem for law standups that people go in and try to record the acts with their phones. I've never heard of anyone recording a show where they're a heckler of real standup acts. Maybe it's one of those things where the solution that doesn't exist until the problem exists. Well, they didn't have us take off our shoes before we got on planes before someone tried

to blow up a plane with a shoe. It was after. Now that we're all aware of standup takedown, finally we can do something about it. Dan, what's your strategy? What's your solution? A solution to stand up takedown? Yes, it's ravaging the stand up community. Full strip searches. Like 100%. Well, Dan, same solution to every problem. Dan, what do you say about the unfair consequences of globalization? It's hitting a country's hardest than you'd help the most.

Probably full strip searches. As to what we were saying. I was gonna say during the movie, I remember Dan just complaining that, you know, hardworking stand-up comedians can't play college campuses anymore. Yeah, Dan, you said something about PC culture being out of control.

I don't like you guys anymore. This movie is. And when we told you that wasn't cool. You said, told us to cut it out, which is just stealing Dave Gullier is bit. You say that, but this a lot of Jackie's personality is that guy. That guy is like, oh, I can't make these jokes anymore. Like everyone is too sensitive these days, like that's his.

He exists in a world where everyone loves those jokes. Also they find it hilarious. They all find it hilarious. You can get it wrong as hell, dude. Yeah, it's real. It's real. He's speaking truth to power. He's just a power.

I'll over the place, bro. Yeah, he's burning the system down. Jackie has to go to court. And when he refuses to apologize to the guy that he hit for ruining his act, he's sent to 30 days in jail. Those 30 days pass pretty fast. Within a cut, he's out of jail. We get a couple of shots of dudes, but yeah, taking a shower in a cell, which seems weird. Yeah. And soon he's out of jail. His manager picks him up and he's very mad at her

And he has to do community service, but before that he goes to a little deli run by his brother Danny DeVito and his brother's wife Paddy LePone and Paddy LePone does not like him and the viewer can sympathize because he's so Incredibly unlikeable and does he ever do anything in the movie to make us like him Jan? He eventually Is nice to a child. Okay, that's fair eventually now there's another parallel He asked for money for Dan from Dani Vito. He's having a hard time getting work at the same time

We are introduced to a new character in a different scene so not the same exact time, but it's the same movie played by Leslie man Thanks for specifying. It's in the same time we are introduced to a new character in a different scene so not the same exact time but the same movie play by Leslie man Leslie man is a young lady whose life has gone on the wrong tracks. She's had her own infraction It all started when she was born out of the weener of Harvey Kitell Harvey Kitell plays her dad who seems to be very wealthy, but I guess he's a gangster or something I couldn't quite tell what he did was he a a bookie? Is he a gambler? He was a model of purpletize on black shirts that's what he did for his living. Sounds about right. They don't have a great relationship and he thinks that she's made a mess of her life. Apparently her boyfriend dumped her. He caught him in bed with another woman and so she threw things at them and

hurt both of them. And so now she does community service too. And so- That sounds like one of those fake crimes that you wanna invent where you're like, I wanna say somebody committed a crime, but they did it for all the right reason. Yeah, exactly. Like maybe they got,

they did something wrong, but wouldn't you have done the same thing in that situation? This guy was in jail because he robbed a bank, but it was because the bank was full of starving puppies that needed to be rescued. This guy stole a loaf of bread to feed his family and his name, uh, Jean Valjean. Mm-hmm. And it's a tamizh, Javier, the catch-in. Have you seen him?

No. It's been like years and I've not caught this dude. No, it's, he's definitely not me in a mustache. Have you seen him? It's been like years and I've not caught this dude. No, it's, he's definitely not me in a mustache. Because you look so much like him and I just thought you might be Jean Velas, are you sure? No, that's not the guy. Back at the Paris police station, we have this board up

where we have the crimes we haven't solved in red and the crimes we have solved in black. And like, my board just has this one name, Jean Velas, Jean in red. They won't even let me pick up other crimes till I solve this one. And it's like, guys, it's been years. That's pretty good for me. It's pretty great.

It's like, all these tolls was a loaf of bread. Can I at least get like a murder on top of this too? It's like, come on. If there's one thing I don't like, it's delicious bread over this crusty outside, and it's chewy inside. You're right, Bread's great. Well, if you think of anything else,

if you see John Veljon, let me know. Here's my card, unless, wait's great. Well, if you think of anything else if you see John Velgeon, let me know. Here's my card Unless wait a second Hold on Stuart mm-hmm. Are you John Velgeon? Mm-hmm. Oh, man Well, do you guys know where he might be guys? I actually haven't seen that play. It's pretty miserable, right? Oh Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh- Here's where we learn that one Robert and yours character, Jackie, cannot shut the fuck up. He is doing Thanksgiving related stick about having sex with turkeys just out loud to everybody in the room while he's serving people on a soup line and the homeless guys.

He's not even like writing any of these jokes down like he's not working on his act. He's just riffing, dude. He's a nonstop joke machine and the homeless guys, Being human beings who exist in the universe of this film love it They are eating it up even faster than they're eating up that turkey and gravy Maybe the only hot meal they've had in weeks and and this is maybe the only hot set they've heard in weeks Yeah, and so he's not to get in the comedy cellar dude and what to you or me might seem to be kind of a selfish act him Turning this community service Thanksgiving line into his impromptu audience, which cannot leave because they literally are starving

for what they're receiving at the moment. And so our force to listen to his unfunny routine, it's almost like the real community service he's doing is delivering something to make some laugh. But anyway, he and Leslie Mann have a meet cute where- Yeah, exactly. They have a meet cute where he is trying to get a voucher signed and here's her on the

phone complaining about somebody. And here's I think we're I'm gonna pin point one of the problems with the movie. Now Dan, if you could name two problems with this movie, what would they be? And then I'll tell you what my big problem is. The main character is totally unlikable. And all of his comedy is the shearist hack work. Okay. Now here's where I tell you something that maybe not would fix

that entirely, but it would help a little bit. Okay. Now this movie is about essentially two people who are down on their luck and are fairly unlikable. They're difficult to be around. Yeah. Leslie Mann's character is very quick to get frustrated and swear and angry, pushes people away, doesn't know how to get close to people.

It's easy to get into a conversation with her. This is a movie about two very troubled people who find some kind of warmth for each other. Now, when did they make a lot of those movies, like in the 70s and a little bit in the 80s? How did they shoot them? Did they shoot them with everything kind of flatly, like in the 70s, in a little bit in the 80s. How did they shoot them? Did they shoot them with everything kind of flatly, evenly lit as if we were watching an episode

of Modern Family with kind of like very big panning shots or, you know, static back and forths? No, they shot them kind of like, as if it was a piece of real life you're looking at, kind of hand-heldy, maybe things were a little dirty around the edges, maybe the lighting wasn't perfect and i think this movie like the real new york you know yeah exactly i think this movie would not have been good but i think it would have been improved if they had shot it as if it was a movie like that a slice of life about two people who are having problems

and not as a heartwarming comedy about two people who are hilarious and everybody loves them. Yeah, more of a slice of drive. If only it was a slice of drive, I would have loved that. You would have been great in this move. Actually, I'll tell you, Richard Dreyfus in that part would have been much better. Yeah. He would have been a thousand times better. I'm saying this is somebody who was once an enormous Robert DeNiro fan,

but I've kind of, you know, as America has, I've lost my taste for him. Charles Groden shows up later in the movie, and we all agree that he would have been fantastic in the lead role. Albert Brooks would have been great. Yeah, but I think what those guys have is one, they're genuinely funny. Mm-hmm. And two, but they're also genuinely prickly in a way that stops just short of being a total asshole. I mean, Charles Rodin, often plays a character who is kind of a total asshole.

But they could tow that line between being like, where you're like, he's funny and he's difficult. He's kind of a dick, but he's like, he's magnetic and he's funny. I see what people would care to be around this person or want to listen to them. Those are both good casting suggestions. Let's call up the people who made the movie and tell them to redo it. Shoot it more kind of handheld, more gritty.

Get our brooks in there. And more car chases, you know? It's New York. Just throwing a little, maybe one of those car chases where like a bicycle gets chased by a car. Like a premium rush, yeah. Yeah, the car can't go every place

to the bicycle thing. Until they hit the rocket booster button and the car turns into a plane. Yeah, so, and then like a chud comes out of the subway. Exactly, a chud is taking the subway because he's gotta get get to work somehow. And he's like, I had to get the $5 foot long because I'm hungry. See, some ways have multiple meanings now, guys. Oh, yeah, you're right.

Because it's not just a stuffy, smelly, underground tube that you get stuck in. Next to people you're never gonna meet again who wanna stand as close to as possible, it's also food. Nothing makes you think that sounds like a delicious sandwich. Oh, I thought we were gonna go the other way. I'd be like, it's also a train. Ha ha ha. That would have been better.

Better construction. Say, nothing makes me hungrier for a sandwich than thinking about being sweaty and angry when I hear, I just just can't drive ahead of us. We're gonna be starved to move each other. And then I get stuck there for 25 minutes when I go down here. So down here. So down here.

Show time. Show's off as Danzen's. And they go move back, move back, and they get mad at you when you don't move because it's like, hey, when did this become? Did I buy a ticket to this show? So I'm not paying attention to your show, I'm busy reading my book. Oh, I'm definitely the guy who out of spite refuses to look at them and holds my book up even closer.

What a lot of guys do to avoid giving their seats to pregnant women, which I, I will give my seat to a pregnant woman, I do to avoid noticing the people performing on the subway. As soon as I hear show time, I say no, I refuse to watch the show. No time. I have no time for this. I say, well, call me cinematics because I don't want showtime. I mean, they're usually a package deal nowadays. It's true. The triple play Showtime, cinematics and HBO. You're buying it for HBO and cinematics after dark. You'll accept whatever original shows, I guess, Nurse Jackie. You're like, oh, Twin Peaks. Hey, these days stars might be throwing in there and you get that American God's, you know, you don't know.

Oh, that's true, that's true. Yeah, America's newest favorite delivery service for penises. It's like the new season of Party Down probably, right? Oh, Stewart, I've got some really bad news for you. I just love that show, it's hilarious. Oh, man, Stewart, I forgot that you fell into a coma while watching the season finale of Party Down. Season finale, I guess it would have been a season finale,

not a series finale, right? I mean, oh boy. So anyway, they meet. And the fact that Leslie Mann is 30 to 35 year, maybe just 20 to 30 years younger than Robert and Eurone. Yeah, I just, 30 to 35. 30 to 35. Does it make it, I believe you asked this question, Dan, so I'm going to ask you to answer it. than Robert De Niro. Yeah, I just. 30 to 35. 30 to 35. Does it make it, I believe you asked this question Dan, so I'm going to ask you to answer it.

No way. 30. Does it make it better or worse that the movie acknowledges the age difference between them and how crazy it is that this is the romantic interest for Robert De Niro? Yeah, it's hard to say, like the movie doesn't try and play it off. Like this is like a normal thing. Like so many Hollywood movies do with an older man, younger woman. Like every movie Michael Douglas does.

Or Jack Nicholson. I mean, I, like it even goes back as far to like, in like old Hollywood like charade or something like that. Yeah. But. Carrie Grant was 70 years older than Audrey Hepburn when they made the movie. What?

He was great though. but it's still like... So it's so attractive, even at that age, yeah. It still feels weird. If you look at his knees, you tell. Well, every time he moves in that movie, just pay attention, because they recorded the sound on set and you'll hear, it's the grinding sound of his joints. Yeah, huh? Very, I mean, they tried to tamp it down and they tried to dub in very loud mariachi music over most of the scenes in charade to cover that up, but it

didn't do a great job. Every time you knew here in Elefinkle, and that's to cover up an extremely loud fart that Carrie Grand is let loose because he can't really control the system at that point. And you know, there's certain times when you you can see his face go a little red and he glances at the camera and you know and the camera cuts abruptly to another scene and you know that he's just about to tell Stanley Don and stand there. I've got to let loose a big one. Cut the camera. That's a charade. Yeah. So Dan, does it make it better or worse that they call attention to how old I don't know. It feels really a lampshade on.

They have like a conversation about how how their age difference is a thing before they have sex. And I don't know. It makes me feel uncomfortable either way. I guess the short answer to that. And I guess what I'm just realizing now is 30 years from now, Paul Rudd will be making a movie about having sex with a woman who has not been born yet. Yeah, Paul Rudd, the ageless one. Yeah, and like, so maybe in 70 years, there's going to be a come a time when Paul Rudd is

an old man and he's making a movie in which his co-star romantic interest as of the recording of this podcast has not been born yet. She'll be like 27 and he'll be like in his late 60s. Wait. So we're seeing the math. 27 and he'll be liking his late 60s. Wait. So we're saying the math. Well, he was just in a movie called This is 40 a couple years ago. There's a mean shit.

Oh yeah, you're right. Man, shit. Yeah. He's a lot of computers to do. He's on the Clayface Goop and he's fucking up running. No, but then I become a serial killer. I want to back up or a victim. I want to back up and just make one point about, before they had, before it.

You know, it's pumped the brakes, guys. We've been moving too quickly. Yeah, we're almost a half hour into the two hour film. Before the two of them have sex. Which is much later in the film. After he takes her to his lesbian nieces wedding, and shocks all the blue blood. The lesbian nieces wedding is what I wanted to talk about.

So let's say, so Robert Near and Leslie, man, Robert Near is having trouble with his career. He just can't wanted to talk about. So let's say, so Robert Near and Leslie Mann, Robert Near was having trouble with his career. He just can't seem to move forward. And Leslie, Why does he say lesbian, he's, Well, it's important for what I'm gonna get in the way. I mean, because the whole point of the scene is he gets, I mean, the point of the scene Stewart was not the

elaborate extended horror that they danced, because it's a Jewish wedding. He did take up a large part. Oh boy, okay, so let's just skip out of that. He decides to take Leslie Mann as a date to his niece's wedding. And let he, there's trouble because Patti LaPone does not like Leslie Mann.

And Leslie Mann is wearing a very sexy dress for this wedding. And the niece says, Jackie, you're here, all you're my favorite, you're my hero. You gotta get up and say something, Jackie. Jackie, you gotta get up. I don't know, I don't know. Jackie, you gotta get up and say something. Okay, Jackie got it up. I don't know, I don't know. Jackie got it up and say something.

Okay, okay. And he gets, and next you expect, except, he's what you expect, expect. Cut to Jackie on stage talking. No, no, no, my friends. We've gotta watch them dance the horror for four minutes. And then we have to watch an old man and Leslie Mann dance together.

And then the old man collapses and just starts grabbing women's boobs when they bend over to see if he's doing okay. We never see that character again. And we've never seen him before. He is existing the movie only for that one scene. He's never given a name. We don't know his relationships. Anyone in it? His name's Dan or Stewart or something. I guess I guess. Yeah, let's say his name's Dan Stewart. I guess they saw the Godfather and they saw the scene where the old man at the wedding gets up and is just singing to everybody. And they were like, I guess I guess yeah, let's say his name's dance to it. I guess they saw the Godfather and they saw the scene where the old man at the wedding gets up and is just singing to everybody and they were like, I guess ethnic weddings have an old man who gets up and

does something crazy. This reminded me by the way, just of a joke that is terrible that rightfully did not get on the daily show that I was trying to get on. Let's put it on our podcast. Yeah, give us your your trimmings. Give us your leaving, Stan of the super piece of poop that didn't flush down all the way. I guess I'll put it on my podcast. Of the superhero Leslie man who has been by radio active Leslie, but let's, uh, move on.

And the daily show wouldn't run that. Uh, but what I wanted to say, I guess it just went over Trevor's head, huh? You heard it here first. Dan's words, not mine. What? What? I don't know if we can say super here. I think that's copyrighted. We'd have to say capes or science heroes. Yeah, it's a word that's owned by Marvel and DC together. Science heroes. This is what I asked men. This is what I wanted to say about the wedding scene, which is something that I said during the movie. And then after the wedding scene, can you remind me let's talk about the TV pitch scene? Okay. Okay.

Jackie gets up and he says a lot of offensive jokes about gay people, lesbians in particular. And this is, I think, why we are making it clear that this is a lesbian woman because, like, Jackie tells all these offensive gay jokes. And the lesbians are loving it. Offensive and not even, not even attempting to be funny. It's just, it's like, it is the lowest, like scumniest, like gay people are weird routine. And the lesbians love it. Everyone else, their monocles are falling out into their champagne, but the lesbians love it.

And we as audience members are supposed to be like, oh, it's fine. It's finally making these jokes because they're digging it. And I wanna be like, no movie. Hey, what's up? You want these funny, you know? No movie, you wrote these characters.

You're the one making them like this stupid joke. For all we know, those might just be actresses playing lesbiansians. What we don't even know if they're real lesbians Dan Oh, this this scandal goes all the way to the president Actually, probably it's hard for me to think of a scandal that doesn't go to the president right now But but it's a good point Dan It's weird for a movie to have a character say something offensive But then justify it by having a character in the movie kind of give it the okay. Yeah, I mean, nothing short in that scene then like, I don't know, like, take Nitaro walking out and being like, good stuff, Jackie.

Yeah. Like, I would have really given it the stamp approval. Like, if Melissa, Etherj and Katie Lang walked down, like, we're not comedians, but we know this is funny. K-but up, Jacko. Yeah. Yeah. But, okay, so before this scene was the scene I forgot about,

where, this is the scene where, that ends with the firing agent, where he comes into Pitcha TV show to a place called Raw TV, which is supposed to be, I guess, like, I like it, a cable channel. I don't even know what it is. And it's like, just supposed to be,

I guess it's like, spike, yeah. Yeah, or vice, but it's online. And he goes into Pitcha sitcom, where he's in jail as an old man and all the prisoners, no matter what their ethnicity or gang, they all come to him for advice and it's called Jackie on the block. And when he says, they go, you got to title, he goes, Jackie on the block. And the person he's telling him to goes, that's funny. Well, here's the thing.

It's a great idea, but, and he throws a shit fit. Because as soon as he says, but, he knows that they're not gonna buy his idea. It's a terrible idea. You guys can be a little peek behind the entertainment curtain here. Oh yeah, well here's the thing. If you ever pitch a TV show, you will not sell it. No, probably not.

I mean, that's to be expected, I have never written a TV show. It'd probably be bad. But like 99.99% of pitches don't get bought, I guess. And a lot of it is just like going in and trying your best and then showing that you can work with them, you know. What about a prank show? Keep talking. And people I pull pranks on don't know I'm gonna do it.

Okay. I like this twist. But I guess is that a new twist on an old thing? Is that the gimmick? That's the thing, what's old is new again, guys, right? See, Stranger Things taught me that nostalgia's a powerful weapon in the right hands. Okay, and my hands are the rightest hands.

And what is this nostalgia for? Our free pre-p Our free free awareness culture. Dick Clark's TV's bloopers and practical jokes. Yeah, of course. Dan's already on it. Dan, you're gonna be my new Arigones animations. Okay. Dan's gonna be the vice president of this show.

It's really a show's work. You can be the president, Ellie. Oh, okay, great. I love it. Yeah, I'll put it on my network. I guess KTV Kaelin television But he and he storms out and it's one of those scenes where it's like You're supposed you're supposed to be it's supposed to be that he's a real artist

And I guess he's being can he's not being given respect by these suits But you just while you're watching you just like I hate all these people. I don't like anything that's going on here This is his show idea is dumb. This channel sounds terrible. Nothing about his character would make me think that he would actually take the time to write a show. No, that's true. He seems like a guy who doesn't follow through and doesn't even prepare material before

going up. Why would I assume he could write a good show? Uh, yeah, very true. And this is all because, by the way, the video of him assaulting that guy, did I mention when viral? Yeah, this is viral. He has about four or five different viral moments

throughout the movie where he does something and it goes viral. This is, this movie has the understanding of the internet of a person who wants her the word viral. That is about the level at which this operate. I give the movie credit. I don't think it ever does a joke where someone confuses viral on the internet

with like having a virus. I don't think there was one of those unless I went into a boredom coma and missed it. So I'll give it credit for not going for that lowest hanging fruit. I would say, they went to the branch above it, which was hanging an inch above the ground. I think the movie unfriended has a better grasp of the internet,

the movie where they videotape a girl who poops her pants and she becomes a ghost and kills them all. I thought we were calling the movie. Rooley internet. That is a more accurate depiction of the internet. Or was that movie smiley? Yeah, it was about a smiley guy. Where they create a fake urban legend, of the internet. Where was that movie Smiley? Yeah, it was about a Smiley guy. Where they create a fake urban legend, but then the endy turns out to be real somehow

and that's the twist. Yeah, yeah. It makes perfect sense. And he does it for the whole. And he does it for the whole. And he does it for the whole. Yeah, because you know what? You can kill a kindness.

Another kinder than a smile. What were his powers? Makes you jump off buildings and shit. He kind of looks like a belly with stitches in it. That's not a power. That's not a power that's just a description of his appearance. What are her powers? She's beautiful.

That's kind of a power. I guess that's true. That is the only real superpower that exists is being beautiful. Which is, I was thinking about this the other day. Tell me if you've heard this one from me. This was something I was literally thinking about while the other day. It's not me if you've heard this one from me. This was something I was thinking about while just getting ready in the morning.

I was like, it's such a weird coincidence that so many of the winners of our most prestigious acting awards are beautiful. I guess there's just a natural scientific link between physical beauty and acting talent because so many Oscar winners, they're just beautiful. Like a man, the women. If you look at it, the vast majority of Oscar winners

are gorgeous, physically, and that award is surely based on talent and performance. And so it's like, what is it with all that? This is just like, if you're not beautiful, I guess you can't act, this is just what it is, scientifically. And there's this thing about how there are a lot of people like Arnold Schwarzenegger, where he's not necessarily what I'd call necessarily like a beautiful person,

but certainly looks are what got him into the movies. He's this huge muscled guy. And now the work he's- Look, he's honest. Yeah, yeah, you could say that. And the work he's doing now, certainly he's like aged into a real performer who like brings his history with him when he plays a role.

But it's like, oh, if someone looks good, they can have 30 to 40 years to become a good actor. Because when you want to just old movies, it's not like you're like, this guy's really good. Like, this guy's a really good actor. I mean, I think he, he, he, he always had a natural charisma. And he, yeah, you have to have charisma. He should get some credit because there's, there's a lot of guys out there who were that who yeah Yeah, name two. Oh man. So Vester Stallone kind of the same exact thing. Oh, you're right. Doff Lundrigan Doff Lundrigan's pretty great too

Howie long Okay, I'll give you that howie long didn't have a great dude to call Okay, I'll give you that. How he long didn't have a great. My dude, a call. They're like, they're plenty of like beautiful orange and ooze who are like gorgeous. And like never have that chance to age into a. Oh, no, women don't get the chance to age Dan.

That's why women win best actors when they're young. Men win best actor when they're old. You make a very good point. Women, by the time a woman is in her 30s, you can already hear Hollywood has planted a clock on the her back that's just ticking down like what, six years. And then when that clock goes off, you know what happens?

What? They break her open and there's chocolate inside. Okay. And all the men dig that chocolate up and just suck it down and it keeps them young-ish. All right. Sean Connery has sucked out so much on his new chocolate over the years. It's

what keeps him attractive into his 80s. Or how's he now, 800? I don't know. He's going to die in between the time we recorded this episode and it goes out. Well, then Justin K. Sons say, Rest in Peace, Sean Connery. I was a fan of your work and a fan. I guess of you avoiding paying taxes in the UK for decades. Not quite a fan of the whole, it's okay to slap a woman sometime. No, that's not something I'm so into. Or any defendant that wouldn't call it out on it. No, that's not so great. Now, it may seem like we're not spending enough time on the movie,

but the thing is, there's not really anything that happens in this movie. Okay, so here, I'll tell you the rest of the movie right now. Roger Knows' career is still going nowhere. Leslie Mann, his relationship, it has its ups and downs. Uh oh, what are you going to do? We're like, sleep together once. They sleep. It's pregnant. They sleep together once. And then later, after he, uh, he, he, our use his way into, uh, spot at a friars club roast for an actress played by was a course, leechman, and then his act

is so hilarious, it kills her and she dies on stage. By the way, we were not talking about how is so hilarious, it kills her and she dies on stage. By the way, we're not talking about how amazing it is that this movie postulates that being part of a Friars Club roast is a step to your big comeback as Elliot put it, a dying organization. It's a little bit like saying, hey, you know what? I wanna go where I've got a big future. I guess I'll step onto Atlantis.

Oh, water's getting a little high. Well, all right, this is the best place for me to get exposure. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Anyway, Friars Club, never been there very envies, obviously. Anyway, so, Dan, you were there. You described it as what, like a museum for Rantans? I did not say that. I believe you referred to it as like an aging bone story.

I did say that this movie postulates a world where the Friars Club is always hopping with people and actual legends of comedy, whereas I have been there twice when the actual events have been going on and it has been a nearly empty bone yard. I get the impression that it's like a decrepit manor house where all the eyes on all the portraits have been cut out. You know who's a member of the Friars Club? Your friend and mine Sam means. Oh yeah, I know Sam's a member of it.

Well, he fits into that. Sam's kind of, he's a great guy. He's prematurely old and loves comedy. Yeah. What, how, should I waste my time on an agrarian Pope parody called the Fall of the house of friars That's about a kind of decaying mance in which an old comedian just kind of figures away his days What's gonna be the what's gonna be the medium for their stories?

Probably the show medium. Oh wow Yeah, I mean, I think that's appropriate because she talks to ghosts I think Mm-hmm ghosts and gerblins anyway, so That was an amazing. Yeah. I mean, I think that's appropriate because she talks to ghosts, I think. Ghosts and Gervlands. Anyway, so anyway, the Friars Club roast doesn't do many favors. Does it go viral? Sure it does. But here's the thing, it doesn't help him.

So he goes down to Florida where he's tried to avoid doing shows because he doesn't want to sell out. He got any tracks down Leslie Mann to it. Old folks home where her dad Harvey Kitell now is we skipped the scene where Leslie Mann for her dad's birthday present has Sets up a dinner for him her and his favorite television star Jackie Burke Rob Gineo's character And we're Harvey Kitell is seen at first talking to a very busty woman wearing like exercise clothes Who then gets up from the table and walks away

No explanation as to who that was and what looks out of the movie and out of our hearts And so anyway, he's living at this old folks home. Rob Giniro again picks up the mic We get this great scene, you know like when I years ago when I first saw a taxi driver I was like man I can't wait till these guys get old and and do a movie together again When they do taxi driver I was like, man, I can't wait till these guys get old and do a movie together again. When they do taxi driver to sports back, which sport has somehow healed from his injuries from the end of taxi driver.

And he and Travis Bickle have to, what, their roommates now at an old folks home. Yeah, have to be roommates in an old folks home. They're always, you know, arguing who gets to spend time in the mirror. Either looking at a cool hat, or looking down the barrel of a gun. He's like, move out of the way with your guns. I want to look at this one pink email that's painted red. And he says, are you talking to me, sir? That's how he gets the famous line.

Actually, I would kind of love to see a taxi driver's sequel where Travis Pickel is old and he is no longer a fringe psycho. He's now like a Trump voter and like has totally been validated apparently by the political system like all the all the hate that he had raging inside of him in the 70s has now become acceptable for him to like to act on because that's just the the America we live in now is Is that mean too dark? I'm kind of interested to see if the current political climate gives birth to films that focus on characters, I don't want to say heroes, but characters that are like have been twisted

and corrupted by the political political like the level of political discourse in the country and commit violent action based on it. I mean I watch the movie Joe not too long ago with Peter Boyle and it's kind of that about this this guy whose daughter is a hippie played by Susan Sranon who goes missing and he goes off to find her and ends up hooking up with not hooking up making out, but like hooking up like meeting up with Peter Boyle's character who's this like Archie Bunker, like total blue collar, racist, hates everybody because he thinks

they're stealing America from him. And the two go hippie hunting essentially and the dad ends up, it's boiler alert for a movie that's four years old, ends up shooting his daughter in the back because they go to clean out a Comian full of hippies at the end just by killing everybody and while watching it. I was like this is Way too close to how I feel like a lot of people want to be acting right now like it was really it was like It's not a great movie, but

There was definitely part of me that was like well Wish we could have moved away from this type of feeling in the past 40 to 45 years, but didn't happen. Anyway, I'll be back to the movie. Yeah, probably. So because we're about to get to the part where Avdynero delivers a hilarious parody of making whoopee called Not Making Poopy about how hard it is to poop when you're an old person.

Is this recorded and does it go viral? Oh yeah, you bet it does. Let's you're an old person. Is this recorded and does it go viral? Oh yeah, you bet it does. It's sent back for a moment. Take the, take the, take the global, take the long years. Okay, let's let's birds eye this. Yeah. Robert and Merrow.

The Robert Demiro show. Robert Demiro, one of the most respected actors in American film. Mm-hmm. Quickly, quickly. In the world. Singing is burning up that car, Melo. Singing is a parody song.

For about four minutes of the film. This is after another singer has butchered a rendition of being alive. One of the most beautiful songs in the musical theater can, but continue. He takes four minutes of the out of this movie. Sing a song with a bunch of old people about poop. Yeah. Dan, if it was funny, I think it was great. Am I above poop humor?

You know I'm not. I've written it, I've laughed at it, I've loved it. Part of the fun of having a three-year-old son is I get to talk about poop a lot. If it was a funny song about poop, give this man a Nobel Prize. And yet it is not a funny song about poop. Do the old people at their retirement home like it?

They love it. Oh, they're gobbling that shit up literally. They're eating poop. It is a scat buffet. So maybe not literally, but they love it. They're young again. This is cocoon to them. They're suddenly full of vivacity and it's a little...

You don't get up and start dancing. It's a little weird to see Rob... Teeth Gutenberg shows up. Teeth Gutenberg. Teeth Gutenberg. It's a little weird to see Robert Deiro who's an old man performing for even older people. Where it's like,

Robert Deiro, you are closer in age and have more in common with your audience of seniors at this moment than with your girlfriend. Leslie Mann afterwards confronts him, she's pregnant. Oh my God, that's not as good as when he finishes doing this amazing tour to force number. Everybody is fucking, Cacklin, they are loving this making poopy song.

And he like fucking mic drops and stomps out of there and he walks past Harvey Kitelle who is deflated. Who is shaking? He's like, it's like I don't know what to do anymore. Down his up, up his down. It's like there's something about it's like either Harvey Kitelle saw the face of God or had a moment with the devil. He doesn't know how to accept this into his life. You should have known better to go up against Jackie, the person who apparently is the most hilarious person in all of recorded history. Yeah, yeah.

When Harvey Kaitel set him up, he's like, ha ha, I'm setting him up in a no-win situation. Entertaining old people, no one can do that. The Kobayashi Maru for a comedian. And then just like Shatton, or he rewrites the program, lamb, lamb, shit, my Robert Nero says. And by Shatton, I mean Kirk, because it's not like, because it's the character does not like William Shatton or the actor went in

and changed the Kobayashi Maru. Although that would have been a great onset story. Mm-hmm. What a prank he pulled. The kind of prank you don't tell people about ahead of time. So there's surprise when it happens. What's the point of doing that? I hate to break it to you, too.

Let me quick get that copy written. Uh, so Robert and your row, he's told by Leslie Mann, hey, I'm pregnant, uh, and Robert Nero, he had mentioned earlier that he had a son who had died in his youth, and that's why, I guess, would turn him into a jerk, or maybe he was already a jerk. He's like, I'm not sure if I want to be a dad, and Leslie man's like, well, I'm not asking you to be a dad. This is my life, you don't have to be a part of it.

They are, and he's like, what, you were just gonna have a baby and not tell me, and not you don't want me a part of it, they argue about this for probably 20 minutes, and it's the kind of scene that in like a heartbreaking drama might have worked. I don't know, but it doesn't work here. The song goes viral and Robert De Niro is now on Raw TV hosting a show called Cry Uncle,

in which people go through stunts. Now, I know what you're thinking. Should the movie have ended by this point? Oh, yeah. Oh, contraire, my friends. It continues. You also might be thinking raw TV, that sounds like something where it's run by young people

and they are trying different approaches to media to capture young audience. Maybe it's like a Tim and Eric are an adult swim type thing. But instead, their show Cry Uncle is the most like old-timey hacky show. No, it's a fear factor. It's just a fear factor. It's like a fear factor with a set.

The set because it's a crawfish challenge. The set is like a bayou shack and franklons. Epicable bayou babes. And now franklons, that's the whole thing. Who's the, who's the, oh, Lutz, Lutz from 30 Rock. Yep. Comes out as a, oh yeah, that hailey hagglin' bayou baby. Yeah, I forget.

Got her. Star of the show. Her trademark. Her buy you, babe, all of a sudden. Uh, uh, uh, Lutz from Thurie Rock has to lie in a canoe with crawfish all over him, crawdads, uh, for, for 30 seconds. And they're really pinching him hard.

And the crawdads are shot in slow motion like to make them look enormous. I don't know. I mean, you, you know crawfish. You give them 30 seconds. They're gonna flay the skin for you. And so I'm up as I did on the Mississippi. They can skeletonize a cow in 30 seconds.

Look, grown up as I did on the banks of the Ole Missusip with my mom, Pa, going down to the real Ole Man River to get what? And you're snapping turtle min though the Mississippi. Oh, of course, yeah. I would just ride her down to the banks. We would go fishing for crawfish. And the way you do it was you just stick your finger down

into the water, crawfish would snap that finger right off. And then when it was snapping your finger off, you'd grab it with the other hand. So you don't really catch like five crawfish until you were left with just one hand. You don't want to use that hand for crawfish fishing. You need that for Newtlin. So you can stick it in a catfish's lawn

and just pull that sucker right out of the water. I'll just say their dangerous, dangerous creatures should be outlawed, shouldn't be pets, like ferrets. Now, I really appreciate Elliot kind of just opening up his heart and revealing his backstory, but I want to get real for a second, guys. Oh, God. All right. You're getting realer than that, okay?

You guys have a favorite turtle. Yeah. I tell you. Type of turtle. Okay. I'll count. I lay its response because that's technically a turtle. I'm telling a turtle. Do you have it? Do you have a number one turtle? I just know. I mean, I know the types. I know a couple. There's a snap in turtle. There's a favorite. There's a box turtle name turtles, and that's probably a tortoise stop fence sitting pick a turtle sea turtle Okay, that's fair and Stewart you The the moda moda turtle. That's what I was gonna say

It looks like a pile of leaves and its neck is super long man. It's so gross Yeah, I gotta look this fucker up. That's fantastic and it's neck is super long. Oh man, it's so gross. Yeah, I gotta look this fucker up. That's a fantastic story. I'm so Googled right now. Stuart, I'm so glad you said that. I knew we were soulmates and now I know it even more.

That is the top number one best hurdle. I've waited this long to reveal that I love the model for the tour, but I didn't even guys. I don't love about this relationship, Stuart, is I'm always discovering new things about you and it just makes me love you more. Dan, I know everything about my hate.

What? So anyway, he's doing this show. And this is where I literally I thought the movie was showing us that he's successful again, because the movie doesn't know what's funny. So maybe they thought this was a great reward, but no. Let's can't do it. He gives up in Kryz Uncle and Rob Nearles.

What? It's also going to have the modemata, right? I just found out that I have never seen this turtle before. It is a crazy turtle. It's super cool. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh, Dan, you want to sit here. I'm going to give you the greatest gift you've ever received. Go to the Brooklyn Zoo. All right. This weekend, they got one. This weekend, no.

Well, I mean, I don't want to go, I can't go down a week work day. Yeah, I mean, actually, you know what, Dan, skip work. Go to the Brooklyn, go to the, the Prospect Park Zoo, not the Brooklyn Zoo. Go to the Prospect Park Zoo. Check out that motto. I'm sort of dating, and she was in a wheelchair.

I pushed her around that zoo together. It's really great. It's a great little zoo. You can see the whole thing in one trip. A lot of great animals, a lot of monkeys feel bad for them, because they're not huge spaces. But what are you gonna do? It's a zoo. As soon as you go to a zoo, you're making a deal with the devil

that you're okay with the animal imprisonment. I will say nothing in the world makes me more jealous than seeing like sea lions and seals playing in the water. Yeah. On a hot day. Like, if you want to be in there. Like, like, I am one of Odysseus's sailors and I am tempted overboard by the sirens. So, very apt. Let's finish up this movie, because I'm sure we're going super long, much like the movie. So a Rob DeNurell, let's give's in. And Rob DeNure was like, what a failure. You're a shame your family hates you and sees Lutz's family like consoling him.

And I think it's in that moment that he realizes that humans can care about each other. That there's such a thing as affection. He's like, my family doesn't need financial security. So I won't take this job. So he out like he goes, fuck this show. I don't want to be here. And he quits. And then it's like, then it just cuts to eight years later, right? Well, no, because he says, fuck this show. Oh, that's a third viral thing that he does. Oh, and so he gets called up on the stage. He gets called up on the stage in the comedy seller, not a pan gig, mind you. Just, he just gets called up with the comedy seller.

Oh, right. He spends a lot of time at the comedy seller, which you may know from the show, Louie. He, uh, he's been to stand up comedy in New York. It's a seller. I mean, I don't know. I mean, they may get money from doing that, but I He, uh, he's been to stand up comedy in New York. It's a seller. I mean, I don't know. I mean, they may get money from doing that, but I'm not, I'm saying it's not a regular paying gig

the way that hosting a television show would have been. Yeah, yeah, but he's got to do it for his art because he's not going to sell out. And he has, because he's the hackiest worst comic in the world. Does mean he doesn't have principles. He has a great night at a comedy seller, a audience that I guarantee you would hate him.

Yeah, because they're all like young hip people. Yeah. But they only went to the dentist earlier that day. So they're still riding that night, you're a sigh. And so he has an amazing night at the Comedy Cellar and then we get a brats style leap ahead. Eight years later. Eight years later.

Eight years, dude, that is not a small amount of time. Large che... That's two presidential terms. There is a very real possibility Robert Newer's character would not be alive eight years after the events of this movie. He is. I mean, think of all his friends that are no longer alive at this point.

So many funerals, so many. How many of you? Richard Belzer's dead. He's long dead by now. The concept of viral would be completely different. Oh, yeah, the internet doesn't exist so we know now it's in everyone's heads. It wasn't like the early stuff was happening

in the past, right? No, because there are time and viral videos and things like Google news. So there's some dude who had an iPhone. Yeah, so this is, so the end of the movie where let's believe takes place in the year 2025 or 2024 depending on what year this movie is. Florida still exists.

It should be underwater. It should be underwater or maybe Bugs Bunny saw it off and pushed it into the ocean like in the in the Hittkartoon Rebel Rabbit. That's the part where he goes, take it away. South America and he saw his off-large and just pushes it out of the ocean. Classic classic clip. And his daughter with Leslie Mann is on stage at the talent show doing standup and her she's does a filthy mouth routine and he couldn't be prouder i mean that's the way we know for sure

that she's his daughter because it's not like she's covered a bunch of wrinkles yeah she's not a she's not a little lady and everything worked out for the best, you know? Yeah. Uh, the end. Uh, we did go- The comedian. We did go along. So let's get to final judgments quickly. Stuart, what do you have to say about this movie? It's a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie, kind of like.

Bad, bad movie. Don't watch it. I agree. Bad, bad. Skip it. Don't zip it. Uh, by which I mean, like get a download a zip file and then unzip it. I'm going to go a little longer in my saying bad bad,

just because it made me so angry. Dan goes, let's wrap it up real quick guys. Do yours real fast, bad bad bad bad. Okay, I'm gonna take a little bit more time. No, I just meant we did. Thanks for reserving the balance of our time for you. Appreciate it buddy. I didn't mean that you had to go that fast for that.

We gotta run. And there's not a lot of hamburgers to go around. So each take one bite. Okay, I'm gonna take these for hamburgers You know what we're gonna say use it. Use your Elgatan games. No, I was just saying like look. I'm not a stand-up comic I know stand-up comics however like I like Elliot exist in the world of comedy this movie made me angry as a Comedy person because the comedy in it was so bad. And the reaction to it was so outsized to like what was going on. And the main character was so unprofessional at every step of the way.

And the misunderstanding of the internet was so egregious that it just infuriated me with every minute that went by. And that's what I have to say about that movie. Very nice. Yeah, that was worth it, Dan. Shut up. Ha, ha. How do you say cheese in Spanish? What show should I have on my DVR?

What are the best songs of the year? It's VR cool. What's your jam? Which one of you is the Renata of the panel? For answers to these questions and so much more, come on over to Pawr Rocket, a Pawr culture roundtable discussion that always has a fun, diverse panel talking about the stuff we love. Catch us every Wednesday on MaximumFund.org or wherever you decide to get your podcast. I'm not gonna judge.

I'm not going to judge. Mugs, shirts, stickers, patches, tanks, and more are yours for the purchasing at maxfunstore.com. Hey, you already love the podcasts, so why not take this to the next level and outfit your home and bud with our merch? maxfunstore.com, because if you have to wear a shirt, it should be one of ours. store.com because if you have to wear a shirt, it should be one of ours. But we have a couple of sponsors. Oh boy. That help us keep going in this bleak world slower. Well, we were watching the comedian. The only thing that I could allow me to keep going was not the thought of my wife. It was the thought of these sponsors.

So look, a sponsor. Yes, what? Wow, I'm sure our sponsors appreciate your anger leading into the sponsor sponsor. No, the sponsor is great. Your lethargy continue. Look, when you need a tuxedo, when you want to look nice for your big day or your special event, you got to put on the ritz. Look as great as you can in suits from the black tux.com. They've got modern rental suits and tuxedos and they can have them delivered to

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strip mall place and rent your tux. That's crazy. Show people that you know how to use the internet properly by going to theblacktux.com. Let's say it's not prom. Let's say you're going to a wedding, maybe even your own, you want to look as best as you can, and you want to dick around with men's warehouses bullshit. The blacktux.com. Our second sponsor of the knife is Mac Weldon. Mac Weldon. Oh. They believe in smart design.

Crawling out of the darkness, we got some Mac Weldon back in town. Wow, okay. Look, I want to balance what Stuart just said by taking note of the fact that is Mac Weldon currently taking care of my genitalia? Yes, because they make the best underwear. Hey buddy, right over here, up top. Yeah, Mac Weldon, right now. Yeah, they call us the best underwear. Hey, buddy, right over here.

Up top. Yeah, Mac Weldon, bro. I'm wearing them right now. Yeah, they call us the Mac Weldon trio, right Stuart? They do. They call us that on our dinner placements. Yeah, Dan, continue. Talk about how great the underpants we're wearing all day now is.

Well, that believes in start design, premium fabrics, and simple shopping. They're dedicated to making the most comfortable underwear, socks, shirts, and more. You'll ever wear. I love the hoodie I got from them. Yeah. It's a wonderful hoodie for all formal occasions. Yeah, and they make great socks too. Mack Weldon.

Mack Weldon. Mack Weldon. My Mack Weldon undershirt is the undershirt I wear on the specialist occasions. When I want to feel confident, you want to feel like a real brand new type. Yeah, I could say that. But like, literally, if I'm going into like a big meeting or something, like that's the undershirt I wear where I'm like,

I know I'm going to feel like I'm a cooler person. If I'm wearing this, then if I'm wearing one of my ratty hains undershirts. That's good because Mac Weldon wants you to be comfortable. So if you don't like your first pair of underwear, keep it and they will refund you. No questions asked. Go to MacWeldon.com and get 20% off using the promo code flop. 20% off using the promo code. Blah. You're gonna wait the way it feels.

We guarantee it. Dan, what is it about the sponsor spots that ages you decades in a moment? I'm trying. Like the girl at the beginning of the haunting. I'm trying to slow down so people can hear what I'm, the important message I'm giving them about our sponsors. Yeah, because you know. So you picked the jeweled goblet in the temple rather than the simple

play cup of a carpentry's son in a way that's going to disorientate and disrupt and upset to listen. Yeah, because you know what, Dan, you know what people hate to hear in their ad pitches? Disorient is the word I was looking for, by the way, not disorientate. Yeah, Dan, you know what people hate in their advertisements? Fast talking. That's why micro machines is not the best. They went out of business a long time ago. That's why micro machines didn't have the best ads ever, because they're fast talker,

because we will hate that. So Dan, what else do we have coming on? We got some jumbo trams, right? Uh, Stuart, you want to read your jumbo trams? I'm going to read your geometry? You know I do. The order of the grand lock is a secret society that is existed for centuries with the power to control governments, topple empires, and cancel your favorite TV shows. That's right scrubs.

And now they figured out how to email newsletters work. Subscribe today at TheGrandLock.com. And each week you'll get a short newsletter in your inbox with tales of grand lock history, etiquette, and petty infighting among their mysterious ranks. It's occasionally weird, often funny, but always intriguing. Be counted among the grand lock secret ranks and unravel their mystery. Subscribe for free at thegrandlock.com. Is it lock, like a door lock or like a lockests like a door lock. Okay. That is a suitable question Your question has been deemed

Suitable. Oh, thank goodness. So I was worried. I would age and turn it dust like Donovan in the last crusade or Donovan the folks thing They call him mellow yellow because he is a moldering yellow pile of dust Yellow, yellow because he is a molding yellow pile of dust. Yellow mold is a terrifying enemy to encounter in a dungeon. Hurtigirty man indeed. Okay, here's a jumbo-tron for Evan from Zach. That's for Evan from Zach. Happy birthday to my best friend in Floppetoo. My gift to you is this message, read by your favorite flopper, Elliot.

Unless it is read by Dan or Stewart. In which case they are now your favorite. Nope, Elliot. Unless it is read by Dan or Stewart. In which case, they are now your favorite. Nope, Elliot got to write the first time. While you aren't pervazoid number one, you are certainly up there in the pervazoid rankings. May your days be filled with all the good, bad movies you can handle. Oh, with a sweet message of friendship and birthday wishes.

And following that up, Dan, I believe we have some performance announcements. May I make them? What would you like to? So we said a little bit exhausted. It's because last night we just did two back to back sweet shows at the Bill House. But that's not all. Those may have been our last New York shows for the foreseeable future.

I'm moving to Los Angeles. But we've got some out of town show. We have a New York show that is a riffing show and not a podcast recording. So so I would not call it a flop has show because it's a flop night bad movie night show Now the first July 16th will be in Philadelphia. That's right the cradle of the revolution No, wait a minute. It was Boston the cradle of the revolution Dan Cradle of the revolution is in your heart. Thank you. The city of brotherly love. The city of brotherly love.

Well, welcome the three flop brothers at the Philadelphia podfest or Philly podfest, if you're feeling like you know, them well enough, July 16th at 8 p.m. Uh, doors at 7.30 p.m. Oh, shit. Okay. Uh, right, Dan? Yeah.

Well, we went over this before the movie started. Yeah, it should have the most accurate and the right. And so go people show up at seven. It's only they're gonna be like, fuck this. I'm not waiting an hour to see those nerds. Better to show up at seven for eight o'clock show. Let's be clear about it. Well, tell you what, you know what the clear thing is, Dan?

If you go to PhillyPodfest.com, you'll see that on July 16th, that night, we will be performing a live recording of a Flapphouse episode. It's gonna be all three of us our first ever show in Philadelphia. Philadelphia's got a lot of great stuff. It's got the world's best collection of Marcel Duchamp's work. It's got the Liberty Bell, and it's gonna have us for just one night only. And we'll probably announce the movie. And they pour fake cheese all over everything.

Yeah, we'll probably announce the movie next episode. Yeah, I think that makes sense. They don't put a fake cheese on everything. So what you should do is draw all tweets to at dank McCoy as to what movie we should watch. If you have suggestions, I wouldn't mind that if you have suggestions. People of Philadelphia, if you want to see us talk about a particular movie, tweet at Dan at dank McCoy and let him know.

And then, what less than a week later, on July 22nd at Brooklyn's Alamo Draft House Theatre, we'll be having a flop night. Wait, is that July 22nd? No, that's June 22nd. What? Oh boy. Oh boy.

That's the Filly Podcast in addition to a bunch of shows. I apologize, I wrote that down wrong. There's two other great shows from maximum fun They're that are doing shows there. We got this with how Lublin and we already do great guys and Sobones right yeah, I'm always I'm always playing video games with that how Lublin on the internet and Sobones with Sydney and Justin McAroy That's right three max one shows But the one you're to want to see is the

flop house, right? But I think they're not at the same time. So you can see them all. You want to sell it? It's a pod fest. See more than one. It's a festival. Yeah, go crazy. They call them pod fiesta's in the Spanish. Sure. It says, do what your body wants. Just do what you're about. And that your body wants tons of podcasts. And now I apologize for you, Mr. Remembering the day of the other one and Mr. Remember the month of it. I'm a busy man, I go like going on. June 22nd, we'll be doing a show at the East. This month.

This month. That is Bear Weeks from when this episode is released. We'll be at the Brooklyn Alamo Draft House for FLOP Night. Once again, we're teaming up with the I Love Bed movies crew of Matt Harmonix and A Erosh to riff over a real movie, not record an episode we were talking about a movie,, to riff over a real movie, not record an episode we're talking about in a movie, but to talk over a movie. And oh boy, what movie is it guys?

Stolen. Stolen starring Nicholaska age. That's right. It's Stolen starring Nicholaska age. And you know what? We've rift over a lot of bad movies. Finally, we're going to watch a good movie, stupid. Yeah, it's actually a pretty fun movie.

And I gotta say, I don't want to threaten anyone, but this is a shield of fuck out, dude. I, we may like look, with Elliot moving, it'll be harder to do live shows in New York. We are going to be doing live shows across the US and Canada. We're going to try. Yeah, other planets, even the moon. We're going to try in other dimensions. We and do. Yeah, other planets even. The mobile. We're gonna try and- Other dimensions, we're Hillary. We go the living planet.

We're gonna try and spread out our live shows. Those two. But I think that this may be capping our live riffing shows in New York career. I mean, it's a good possibility. It's all I'm saying. It's possible. Who knows what may happen in the far future,

but I think it's a possibility. So if you wanna see us, if you're living New York and you wanna see us riffing on a movie, this'll be your last bet for some time. I'm excited about doing it because that was kinda how we started doing our live shows, definitely. And we started doing our live shows with

Matt and Gisena of I Love Bad Movies and with Christina. So, and Christina, and your programmer now at I love bad movies and with Christina. So, and Christina, and your programmer now at the All in the Draft House. It's gonna be this great, bitter, sweet love letter to just like us. They're honestly like,

better sweet love letter to ourselves. Honestly, like if it's gonna be, I know an emotional experience for me, there's gonna be a lot of people that I'm doing this show with that I'm gonna be moving far away from and just will not have the same Contact with and so if audience members want to see me probably tearing up at the end of it Come on down to the out-of-the-house

June 22nd you just show up and tear up a picture of Abraham Lincoln. No I mean, it's no worse than what was done to him in real life. His head was ripped apart by a bullet But and or maybe I'm just crying at the majesty that is Nicholaska age in stolen who knows? I apologize again about getting the I'd written the month down wrong That's sometimes I get confused about wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's wife's So you'll do another fucking apology. Yeah, next I'll do apology in July. Sorry for everybody who missed that show. Because I got so that's July 16th in Philadelphia and June 22nd in New York. I want to apologize because I was officially in the No Bozos zone.

Yeah, you know, I have a letter that I prepared with my attorney. I feel sadness and shame for myself, my family and the organizations I represent for my activities and behavior, which can only be described as having a high degree of bozo quality. I, yes, I know, I'm fully aware that I was in the bozo, no bozo zone, so I was in the no-boso zone at the time. That's not the bone zone, either.

And my being a bozo and being full of bones were both reprehensible and I'm ashamed and I will do everything in my power to avoid such problems in the future. Yeah, I didn't love Elliot. I didn't like Elliot's mistake, but he's kind of a class act as a apology. So I'll let him back into the zone.

Oh, thanks. So Dan, letter bag. We don't have time for a letter song. Let's get to the letter Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr It's Letters Time. It's Letters Time. Let's get those quick letters going right now. Let's sing a song, but let's not. There's no time. Let's do a shot. And you missed it.

It's Letters Time. Thanks, I guess. I could have sang a song when I didn't, because we know a lot of time. Yeah, all right. This is Letters from listeners. Our first letter is from Jackie last name with a lot of Jackie Burke, the main character of the film.

Who says? He's going to say Jackie Rose and sister. Lori MacCath. Yeah, no, I mean the of the character. In your opinion, what villain or super villain has the best job prospects in today's competitive market? Whose powers and our skills are exactly what employees are looking for. For example, in the final episode of Sherlock, spoiler alert, spoiler alert, spoiler alert,

yours homes, Sherlock's secret crazy sister manages to take over a high-tech island prison and sets up a saw-style death maze filled with carefully timed traps. That's right. Sure lock lost its way. One of which involved transporting the unconscious main character hundreds of miles away. All with a power. Oh, and also pretending to be a little girl on a crashing plane for some reason. Yeah. All with the power of her psychotic brainwashing abilities. A lot of prep and people must have been involved. She is not getting enough talent credit for her amazing project management skills. What villains have transferable talents that would really make a resume stand out? Thanks from Chicago, Jackie Lastain with Held.

Well, I feel like in Suicide Squad, Harley Quinn has a real talent for dealing with difficult men without losing her poise and gaining their respect without bringing herself to do things that she's ashamed to do, me, because she has no shame. And I feel like in today's both job and political market, that would be a real source of strength. I feel like a blow-feld. He has a real affinity for animals. Like he could be a veterinary assistant. The way he is able to threaten James Bond while petting a white cat on his lap and not have that cat distressed or run off or anything.

Shootin' for the stars, then. What do you mean? You know, shootin' I mean. Yeah, thinkin' big. He's super rich, right? Yeah, he spends billions of dollars just talking about Basis and things like where is town's lie now? Have you ever heard the theory that blow fell does actually the cat and he telepathically controls different men and makes them blow-feld? Oh because they have different actors playing blow-feld. Yeah, and that blow-feld is just a telepathic cat I can't not heard that but I love it That's the only fan theory I've ever heard that I've liked.

Okay, well, there you go. Keep it under your pillow, I guess. Yeah. I'll keep it there with a wish in a kiss. It's gonna keep Moie good night, like the princess and the pee. She would keep peeing in her bed. No wonder she was awake about it.

Uh-huh. Cause it feels warm at first. And then it gets cold. It gets really cold. Also, princess was a horse. I was gonna say, you know, I was gonna say Dr. Doom, cause he's like super rich and he's got lasers and he just doesn't give a shit.

Also like a doctor is always in demand somewhere. I feel like in this political climate, just like his like charisma and like attitude and armor and shit and not giving a fuck, like he probably do really well. There's also there's a villains like the trapster originally on his paste pot Pete who has this super glue and it's like, why are you committing crimes? Just sell that glue.

Sell the glue, dude. You got it right there. You have a costume perfect for infomercials.cials like the wizard has anti-gravity discs and it's like he had a power glove what movie was I watching? Not a different wizard He has anti-gravity discs. It's like why are you using those to commit crimes tried to go over the world? More has Gravity This is boy, you know what Dan? Let's go to the next letter. All right.

Next letter is from Paula Lasting withheld. Diamati. Paula Diamati, all right. Oh, yeah, Paul's sister. I thought you were doing it like, was just Italian. Paula, less the name of the field. It goes like this. Thank you so much for your podcast.

It sure makes a nice work day when I can tune in to listen to three pals, yuck it up about questionable movie culture. Even though I do worry sometimes about Dan's well-being. Are you okay, Dan? Those other guys can be so mean. My questions are- Yeah, that's what's causing Dan's problems.

Questions are. In your own bio-picks, what would be the last line spoken? And who would deliver it? And while we're here, what music would see the movie out? Oh, interesting. Thanks again and best wishes, Paula last name withheld. Now clearly, for reasons that you stayed in your own letter, the last lines of the movie

for my movie would be, how can we go on without Dan and it would be Elliot and Stuart saying it and then as we cut to black there would just be two gunshots sound effects. So what's the song that plays like I'm walking on sunshine but crossroads, small bugs and harmony. No it'd be more serious about what song I would like to play. I don't know I I think that five years off of Ziggy Stardust, I would like very much. Or this is maybe a little obvious. Since I'm talking ahead, it's fan and this is, since I'm talking head, since I am talking heads. And this is their most sentimental song, but naive melody would be a nice song. Yeah, sure. Play over the end of a, of a biopack or at a wake, let's say.

For me, when I die, Elliot, get on it. I'll remember. Yeah, like I'm not going to remember that is the first song I'll think of when you die in a play it at your wake. Mm-hmm. There's a sweet song though. You know, for a long time, I assume the music they would play over the closing credits of my biopic would be Hallowed Be Thy Name by Ann Maiden. Now I was on a little older. It's

probably my way by Frank Sinatra. And the last words would be, and nowadays we call them computers. them computers. And then somebody says, cofefe and then I damn over. I don't know how well you're just going to date. Yeah, really going to date your biomext. I just think mine's going to end. You're just going to see a police detective shaking his head sadly going too much chicken. And then it'll probably go to either mother by dancing or leatherwing bat the Peter Paul and Mary version.

All right. That's on how I feel in the day I die. I know I'm gonna wake up early the day I die. That's for sure. I probably feel a fly buzzing my brain. Wow. So I couldn't stop for death, but he kindly stopped for me. Yeah. Thanks for all the references. No problem. You got it anytime, bud. This next letter is actually very serious. Okay. Let's dial it back guys. Sorry. Okay. My name is we were we were just not being serious talking about our own demises. No, I know. Well, I'll do our best. I'm just worried. I'm just worried. So you don't joke them up. My name is Brian and I recently discovered the flop out to my fiance of six and a half years, but sadly under bad circumstances. He recently became blind at 29 due to her diabetes

and gastro-prices. This has changed her life from the worst because we got together bound by love of our film and the cinema experience. Her perfect films are back to the future in Ghostbusters but she will talk Kubrick and Alan all day long with you. Her dream to be a film director is shattered due to her blindness now. Even though she can't see to watch movies or maneuver her phone, she still manages to

pull up Yala's podcast. Each day she cries and wants to give up, but she manages to laugh with each flop house review. The flop house seemingly is keeping her going. We recently listened to the Oogie Loves review and we laughed so hard together, a complete blessing in my opinion. I write this message to you guys, hoping you can help. Recently, listen to the Oogie Love's review and we laugh so hard together, a complete blessing in my opinion. I write this message to you guys, hoping you can help.

Please, from the bottom of my heart, give a shout out to Catherine A.G. of Longview, Texas. I believe in my heart. It would be enough to give her a sense of strength. Also, we both think a terrific film to talk about is Prince is under the cherry moon. Jesus, you have to see to understand what we mean, but it's so cringe-worthy.

She was going to do a what the fuck film review of it, but now she's incapable. She's currently in the hospital blind and listening to your voices now. Thank you with nerd love, Brian, last name withheld. So a shout out, definitely, the Catherine A.G. of Longview, Texas. Thanks for writing in. the catheter a g of long u texas thanks for writing in. Yeah, I was just say about this but no I mean yeah definitely a shout out. But yeah like can't you're struggling with something that I know like that's one of my biggest fears. I can't imagine it but it sounds like you have somebody in your life who loves you very much. And I think that you have the strength to push through this and.

I mean. find a way to move forward with your life. And I think it's if we can provide any like gateway to the world of film for somebody who loves film, but can't experience it anymore, like that's the like, well, this whole fucking thing is worth. Yeah, there's no there's no better reason for us to continue to put up with each other. Yeah, yeah. But Stuart has spoken, I think, uh, yeah, you did. Yeah, you did. But Stuart has spoken, I think, yeah, certainly how I feel about this too. Very eloquently.

It's the booze. But thank you for writing in and telling us about this. Kevin, thank you for listening and we'll be thinking of you and you'll be in our thoughts and our prayers. And yeah, I don't know you, but I know that you can push through this and that you will find the things in life that are bringing you wonder and joy and happiness and love still. And if us, you're emerying on and making fun of Dan, what do you miss for our sister?

Is part of that then I feel very lucky. If I can mispronounce things for your advantage then all the better advantage. So she's not making money on the stock market. It's not. I mean, if she's not, she can make a pretty good bet against me. Oh, that's true. Yeah.

That's the pretty solid. Miss spoke he was giving me a stock tip. That, uh, that Las Vegas odds makers do lay. That's true. Yeah. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. Retting. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. The pretty solid. Retting. The pretty solid. Retting. The pretty solid when it happens and also what he mispronounces it as, that's the trifecta, that can pay big bucks. Yeah. One last question before we go,

I mean, we're gonna do our recommendations not before we go, but before we go out of the segment. Hey Ho, to my favorite gizcast, this is from Pete Lasco. Like, real changing tone. Really, really shocking. To be out of that one, dude. Squeezy. Oh, I've whiplash. That's real. It's real. It's real. It's really shocking. It's really shocking to me out of that one, Dan. Squeezy. Oh, I've whiplash.

Oh, wow. Funny, then in all fairness, we are a pretty good giz-cous. Yeah. It's just I feel like the person who curates these letters, one Dan McCoy, that was an unfair juxtaposition. But continue, shall you? My question is, if someone comes with a stretcher and a garbage bag, which one of you is getting on the stretcher and which two of you are giving in the bag?

Oh, that's a good point. Dan's the hero that gets on the stretcher and where the two pieces. So I got in the garbage bag and they just need one bag because I'm pretty small. I'm not going to take up a lot of room. Yeah, you can share my bag, dude. And then they can take the other bag and fill it with, I don't know, like gummy bears or something. For the ride to the mortuary.

Yeah, and especially if it's one of those glad bags that stretches a lot, like those quilted ones, we can definitely fit in. Yeah. Thank you, you wanna join this bag party? Yeah, I mean, I kinda feel left out now that I want this nice stretch. I mean, you deserve the stretcher. Sure, you're here real. I mean here as stretcher is a Casper mattress though, so it's gonna be really comfortable

Yeah, just the right bounce What I hear yeah I don't like here. You say the word bounce Thanks for those kind words What do we do now, Dan? Now is the time in the podcast where we recommend a movie that we actually liked in lieu of watching the comedian, which made me curious. That's weird. It's giving me the stretch it. I guess we can talk forever. So I'm going to recommend a movie

I saw recently that I definitely liked. Now I don't know if it hit me a little bit harder because I'm going through the process of moving my house, which I described earlier when I made that hilarious home improvement joke. Uh, so... I'm gonna recommend a movie called We Are Still Here. It's a little ghost story horror movie. I think it clocks in at like 80 minutes, 85 minutes. So you know that's great in, out, done. Now it's got some familiar faces.

It's got Barbara Crampton in it who gives a great performance. Barbara Crampton, lover, put her in every horror movie, she's great. And it also has my boy Larry Fessenden in it. Oh, all-star. He was another, yeah, another horror, like, like, low budget, alt horror guy. Did you ever see, what was that, what was that fucking vampire movie, it was in like, like

a long time ago. And I remember. But so it's this great little ghost story about a couple who move into an old house in a new town after the loss of their son and they start noticing some, some strangeness that appears to be supernatural and they assume it is their son trying to communicate with them and they take steps to kind of figure out what's going on. And it's a pretty great little also.

It's gory, but not like crazy over the top. It's just a fun little ghost, like ghosty horror movie. Check it out. We are still here. The movie I'm going to recommend, I remember barely anything about. It's still in the blanks. Yeah, it's called The Mad Libs of Recommendations. It's called She Were A Yellow Ribbon. Oh.

It's one of John Ford's calorie films, stars John Wayne. The second I believe of his calorie trilogy. I remember it as being a very, very good movie that I liked a lot. And that's about all I can remember about it. I'm recording. Well, the color photography is beautiful. It is. It's about a cavalry outpost. Okay. John Wayne plays a retiring. I don't know his rank is, but he's the commanding officer there. He's a widower. And there's something very atominal about it, both the passing of him out of the military

orders and also the passing of this kind of way of life of this core of men. They're a young man there, but the world that they're going to live in and the America, they're going to live in, the America they're gonna live in is going to be a different, much less wild, but also in a way much less romantic world than the one that John Wayne has been fighting for. And the politics of it, of course, are complicated now because it is very much valorizing the man

whose job was just to kill the hell out of Native Americans. Watching Dan's face as he realizes that he actually didn't like this movie This all no no no, but it's a beautiful movie and it's actually it's got a lot of very funny parts There are some cattle drive moments that are a little long People who used to watch old westerns loved watching cattle move, but no, I it's actually that faces me being like this all sounds Familiar I would call it Dan my third favorite John Ford movie. No, I remember it being a very great John Ford movie.

And the reason I can't remember anything about it is just because I realized, very late in this podcast, that I hadn't seen any movies since we last were together and I can't remember any movies. And what movie did I like in the past to War Yellow Ribbon? That was one of them. It's very nice. That's a great choice. Yeah. Yeah. How about that Danny? Do you have any plans to see movies in the future? Hey, why don't I recommend a movie? Oh, okay. I was I was thinking I now a movie I saw recently that I was already recommend was the GW Pab's version of the three penny opera.

But I actually found myself kind of- The Dorae Groschen opera? Exactly. I found myself kind of not fully satisfied by the film. And it's a film of a show that I love. And you do see La D'Alenia perform the pirate genie song, my favorite song from the show. But I started thinking we were watching the comedian. Is there a movie that has a scene of someone performing stand-up comedy that I actually find funny?

And I could think of one, the Muppet movie with Fuzzy the Bear performing stand-up comedy. And lately, it's a movie I think about a lot, mainly because it seems to be on the TV all the time because it's my son's favorite movie, but also it's very much about friends moving to, and who become a family moving to Los Angeles

to make careers in the larger entertainment world. And so I've been relating to it a lot lately. And finding myself very close to tears during the moving right along number. And at the very end when they sing about how life's like a movie and all that stuff. And so, the movie, what movie watch it? I, at this point, it life's like a movie and all that stuff. And so, the movie, the movie, watch it. At this point, it's gone from a movie I enjoyed as a kid to a movie that is like

one of the fibers of my heart. And so, I'll recommend that one. It's got also got Fuzz of Do and Stand Up comedy in it. Sounds good. The three unqualified wreckage. No, you're just joking, but I think that that's true. No, yeah, I'm with you. That's one of my favorite movies too.

He's guys, every time I say stuff, it sounds like a being sarcastic. Yeah, that's true. It's called David K. Lymph syndrome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. DKS. Somewhere David is listening to this this podcast. We like hey What did I do? Yeah, the first time I noticed that I had it I was in the bathroom and I looked in the mirror and I was wearing a hockey jersey

Yeah, he wears a lot of hockey jerseys. Oh jerseys of all types He's a real Jersey boy. He literally. That's where we grew up. So Dan and he's also a member of whatever band was that in Jersey boys. Four tops. Four or some things. Yeah, four tops.

So the Fleetwood Mac. The Fleetwood Mac. This is my Fleetwood Mac, Dukebox musical Tusk. So this is the part of the podcast where we say goodbye where Elliott has been anxiously looking at us watch for about half an hour. Just to see how late I'm going to get home. Yeah, no, it makes sense. It checks out.

We should get off the old podcast horn. I'm not sure if everyone's aware of the fact that we record these shows after we're done with work So usually so after we watch the movie and I watch the movie so by the time we finish it's usually Fairly after midnight. Mm-hmm, and I don't know about you guys But I think my things get a little blue my boob booty sweep Well, I wake up in the morning Your booty is so tight right, sleeping. Yeah. Anyway, these jokes are getting better guys. Let's just keep it up. All right.

For the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. Hey, oh, I'm steward Wellington. And this is you. Oh, sorry. This is like, and thank you. Thank you. All that you got. And this is Ellie Kaelin, stepping on Stuart's lives. Goodnight everyone. You guys want to hold hands? Maybe we could pray a little bit. Yeah, let's pray. Okay. The answer enough. I'm really worried about it. Yeah, let's pray. OK. The internet. I'll find a way to get my mic.

No, I don't want anyone hearing my prayers. We're gathered here today to get through this thing called life, et cetera. Oh, wow. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artists don't. Listen or supported. Listener supported.