The Flop House - Ep.#260 - Brain Smasher... A Love Story

Episode Date: June 23, 2018

On this episode April Wolfe from Switchblade Sisters and Who Shot Ya? joins us to discuss a direct-to-video movie you've probably only heard about if you had HBO back in the early 90's: Brain Smasher... A Love Story. Meanwhile Elliott reveals his pro-samurai agenda, Stuart reveals his imprisoning Garfield fantasies, and Dan impugns the Muppets' ability as Broadway hitmakers. Wikipedia synopsis for Brain Smasher... A Love Story Movies recommended in this episode Upgrade Revenge I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore Journey Into Fear

On this episode we discuss Brainsmacher, a love story. The sequel to Hand War house, I'm Dan McCoy. Oh man, it's me, Stuart Wellington. I like the excitement that Stuart is revving up for this episode and I'm Ellie Kaelin Excited Elliott they call me. Oh, man. It's him Stewart Wellington Original bad boy and who's wait, who's gonna be trouble? Is that person in the distance Stewart Wellington? No, we have a guest tonight and that guest is I'm April wool thank you she responded to our queue like a real pro

and I'm a pretty professional director of it yeah you're right you're a real Ron Howard I want to see the movie Stewart directs where he's like okay you walk in and you have to announce yourself at the top of the scene the scene this is the end of the movie Stewart directs where he's like, okay, you walk in and you have to announce yourself at the top of the scene. This is the end of the movie. I'm sure that people know who I am. No, no, no, you got to announce yourself every time. Okay, hello, I'm Clive Owen. No, that's not how you sound, Clive Owen.

So, should one of us say who April Wolf is? Or should April Wolf say who April Wolf is? What's the best way of doing this? I think on the other room while you guys decide. Well, I'll tell you what Dan, we'll vote silently in our minds. Okay. Okay. And then that's a topical joke because tomorrow is a big primary election in California, where I live. April also lives. That's great. In this episode, it's coming out tomorrow then. It's coming out way late, actually. We've got one in the pipeline before this.

So it's going to come out at the end of this month. Well, I'll mention that April is an actual real live film critic who actually knows what she's talking about with movies and not like a bunch of us's just kind of hammer ring on about whatever. And you may know her from such other max one podcasts as who shot your podcast or switch plate sisters, which are both great and you should listen to them now. But like listen to this first, then go oh boy guys, I almost have a high star episode. So April, have you been brought on almost like the adjustment bureau to come on and correct all the errors we've made with Matt Damon and whatnot?

Yeah, that's exactly it. Was the tagline for that movie? You just, your life got adjusted. Your life got adjusted. And so the tagline was, don't trust a guy wearing a hat. Yeah, that's, yeah, and April is wearing a magic fedora right now. That allows her entry into what the adjusting world, like what did anyone see I haven't seen the movie so I don't know Yeah, I did see it and I've forgotten everything about it

It's it's kind of like that special world in the real Ghostbusters cartoon that the boogie man lives in Which is connected by like what closets are under beds. Okay? Yeah, I think that's the whole story I thought the adjustment bureau was just like a much people in fedora's who like rotated your tires There's nothing mm-hmm. Yep. It's a guy who comes in and fixes all your bureaus and drawers Like all this droid this door is a little it's a little sticky. It's sticking a little bit Let's call in this guy and he comes in with his magic fedora and what kind of like waves door is a little sticky. It's sticking a little bit. Let's call in this guy. And he comes in with this magic fedora

and what kind of like waves his hand a little bit. And it picks us. Are they angels or something? What's, so the movie we watched is the Adjustment Hero. Right? I was like, wait, was I supposed to watch that? I mean, I think everyone was supposed to watch it. But I don't think everyone did.

The producers, the adjustment bureau, would have preferred. Yeah, everybody had watched it. Yeah. But no, we did not watch that. And this podcast is a bad movie podcast. Yeah, not, yeah, not that, not just a hero, it certainly doesn't fall into that rubric. Yeah, we're not here to talk about American classics.

We're here to talk about what, Dan. What are we doing this podcast? This is a podcast where we watch a band movie and then we talk about it. And because we have a special guest in Miss April Wolf, she chose the the movie that we watched. The what Dan, were you about to say what were you about to watch? Okay, that's what I was about to say. Yeah, I was like either Dan's about to say what were you about to do? The podcast that you watched? Okay, that's what I thought you were going to say. I was like either Dan's about to say the pot roast that we watched. Which doesn't make sense. Or he's going to say the podcast because over the years he's had trouble telling the difference in the words that he uses to movies and podcasts.

All of it, a watched pot roast never bulls. Wait, you just crushed that, you're just kidding. Dan, I think you'll find in. Never blows. You just crushed that shit. Just, Dan, I think you'll find that even if you don't watch Apot Rose, it's probably not going to go bowling. All right. So we watched a guest selection. In this case, Reigns Masher, a love story from now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now. From now.�. From now. From Rain smasher a love story from now 1993 I think now April or as I call it Jurassic Park Year Zero

April why did you choose this movie? I Love this movie It's it doesn't work at all, but somehow still works There's a running joke about ninjas that isn't funny, but then suddenly doesn't get, well, it's slightly funnier. I don't, there's, everything is wrong with this Terry Hatcher, Andrew Dice Clay in a romance. And I'm going to say in a popular opinion, but I think Andrew Dice Clay is a really great actor. He's playing in Blue Jasmine. Yeah, I know. I agree with that. He successfully played the part of a standup comedian people enjoyed for more years than I would have expected him to.

Yeah, and he played a really great brain smasher. Yeah, he was of all the brain smasher in cinema history. He's a pass. So, Dan, probably people like, if they haven't seen the movie, they're like, what could this movie be about? If it's called Brains, a love story. It's exactly the kind of questions that Albert Pune wanted them to ask. You say... He made the movie.

You say if they haven't seen this movie. I think this is a pretty good bet. I think it was a direct video release. This movie did not have a theatrical release. It did. It's pulling up IMDB and IMDB says it movie not listed. I don't think it even had a DVD release. Not in America. It's not in America. It was either Wikipedia or IMDB that one of the trivia things was it had a

theatrical release in like Brazil. Yeah. Like that's the one place I think where it was shown in the theater. I do believe it was on HBO a lot when we were young. Yes. I think I remember that being the case. I feel like I remember hearing ads on Comedy Central for it. That's possible right? Yeah.

It could have been on Comedy Central. Well, I mean, it's hilarious. It's, you know, It's the funniest movie. I mean, yeah, Comedy Central is showing plenty of movies that were not the funniest movie Like stewardess and ninja candy were on constant rotation A little film called Cannibal women in the avocado general death. Oh, you mean Comedy Central filler the movie? Yeah women in the avocado general of death. Oh, you mean Comedy Central filler the movie? Yeah.

Okay guys, let's talk about what happens in Brain Smash or a love story, okay? I'm not sure, okay. Yeah. Okay, the movie opens. The first YouTube opens. And you click. Yes, I want to pay for this movie. No, this is not a mistake. YouTube has a number of dialogue boxes that come up being like, really? Rain's making sure, are you sure you're not a cat walking across the keyboard? It's like, I'm going to make you put in three different credit cards to prove that you're an adult human. I did have to put my credit card in three times. Oh, really?

Oh, we're trying. Very easily for me. And then Candyman showed up. With all these stuff he had bought using your card? Wow that's horrifying. It's mainly beekeeping equipment. This is American Express. We see a lot of charges for beekeeping equipment and sharp objects and candy on your card. And you don't usually buy that. Is that? And then?

Oh, no, no, I don't usually buy that. Oh, okay, nevermind. They're so. They would call. They say, you haven't, April, you haven't bought any beekeeping equipment this month. Is everything okay? So guys, the movie starts not even in media res. It starts with an enterprise play on a pay phone. And he's like, calling someone. He's like, you got to hear this story. What happened to me last night? Nobody he's talking to on the phone wants to hear it. So he talks, he turns to the camera and says, hey, I'll tell you my story. And it's one of the stranger openings of a movie. Not a fraying, like spoiler alert, not a fraying device that comes back at the end of the film.

No, at the end you're left with the credits and you're like, wait, so is he just telling me the credits? Wait, there's a post-credits sequence where he's like walking up to the pay phone and you're like, here we go again. I mean, that would be great if it just you find, let's see who he's talking to, and it's like a small child or like a baby. And I hit the carriage. So what do you think? Crazy story, right? He announced he the Stuart Wellington School of Character Development. He just says to the camera, hi, I'm Ed Malloy. They call me the brain smasher. See, Elliot, I was schooled by watching a lot of Saturday Night Live impressions. Where they just announced who they were at the beginning.

Yeah. Yeah. But before we get to Ed Maloy's story, first, he's gonna tell us about a super model, Samantha, played by Terry Hatcher. And she is doing a swimsuit shoot, and everyone is surprised that she can read when she takes out a book to read the makeup.

And this is pre-Lowison Clark Terry Hatcher. This is pretty early Terry Hatcher. This is pretty early time. She rock it into outer space. That's what happened with stars. This is hot off of tango and cash where she played drums at some kind of strange nightclub. While wearing pants as a stripper and she is not yet in. She is just a live drumming performer who rides a motorcycle on stage. I mean, that's enough of an act, you're right. I guess the stripping would just complicate that.

Yeah, that's asking too much. She's just a double threat, motorcycles and drums. And this is pretty soap dish for all you hatch heads out there. For you hatchbacks, that's what Terry Hatcher fans are called. Hatchback. This is post for adventures of Ford Fairlane for all you dice people. Yeah. I want to take a moment to give a shout out to the writer director of this film who also is the director of Dolman, Aileen from LA and Cyborg. And Dolman shows up in the movie, not as himself, but.

Yeah, two in time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he shows up. Wait, he doesn't show up as Dolman. Where are the actors in Thomas? I was wrong on both counts, right? But there's this great scene we'll get to later on where there's a bunch of cops interrogating them.

And one of them is Dolman. One of them is what's the name? Drunk it't hang on cash and Blade Runner one of them is Charlie Rocket from SNL like it's they I don't know it's like this this weird they're like we got with the filmmakers like I'm gonna call on all my friends in for like one day just for this part it was whoever was walking by the studio at the time I would totally do this I would if I were time. I would totally do this. If I were those people, I would totally do this movie with Alfred Pion because he is an amazing writer, director, and knows exactly what he wants. He said that this movie turned out the most like what he wanted out of any movie that he ever made.

Even more than radioactive dreams, which is a crazy movie or kickboxer yeah yeah more than that so because radioactive dreams is a movie I saw years ago about these two it's after the nuclear war but punk rock still exists thankfully and these two brothers were raised on a diet of Humphrey Bogart movies now they got to go out into the waste nuclear wasteland wilderness as a couple of gumtune gum shoes and I don't remember any of the plot except that they they movie ends with them being like all right guys hit it and they do this weird dance after after having an adventure. That sounds amazing.

It's a really fun movie. It sounds like the the Takeshi Kitano Zatoichi movie. Oh, but that's great when they all have that dance at the end. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so Terry Hatch is a model a rich guy wants to marry her He gives her a $10,000 watch, but she says I don't want watches. I want love and meanwhile her sister sends her a package From London that she's supposed to no she's in London the sister sends her a package from Tibet

Harris somewhere that she's supposed to bring to Portland Oregon Portland That's where Ed the brain smash your lives. Oh, oh Our gun. It's so it's meant to be a goof that it's like very Brooklyny bronxy, but it's set in Oregon. I assume that they were like it's weird because when there's a Port where Edmalloy Interest Clay goes back to his parents. Yeah, and they're the most like Drill like Tri-State Italian Portland family and

I don't know if it's supposed to be an overt joke or if it's just like we need to get to people who could conceivably be like Interest Clay is not gonna do a like a Pacific Northwest accent like we're just got to build the world around him, you know But it's all shot or almost all that is shot in Portland like they're just yeah, no I just had tax breaks for Portland and they're like Yeah, I'm the right place to get your classic Portlander. Can you go on the Brain Smash or a Love Story tour in Portland or on the... I hope so. Like this is the, you're walking now past the theater marquee where a benefit performance of Malcolm X was clearly shown in the background of Brain Smash or a love story when taking pictures of it and things like that.

No joke though, my husband on our first date, when we were just dating, he took me to that strip club for a drink. What? And when I saw that movie, I was like, holy shit! I've been here! And then he winked at you. I knew all along. Yeah, he knew he was taking me on the brain smasher to where and I had no idea.

That's amazing. That's a long con. That's like when my wife and I took a trip to Paris right after we got married and then we saw midnight in Paris and Woody Allen went to all the same places we went and we were like, was Woody Allen following us on our vacation? Elliot, I think I know what you actually said. You said, wow. Because, oh yeah, I said, wow, Ernest Hemingway, wow. I have my son saying that now. It's really funny. Okay, so Samantha, she goes to Portland and she finds her sister but her sister has been captured by this It's a sect of masked shalon monks who are wearing all like fedoras and trench coats like their dick Tracy villains

Are you sure they're not ninjas? Yeah, this is something that gets brought up as as April mentioned every I think other scene someone goes like Oh, it's a bunch of ninjas and they go we're not ninjas and later on someone goes like, oh, it's a bunch of ninjas and they go, we're not ninjas. And later on someone goes, oh, you speak in Chinese, they can't be ninjas, but I did some of my sleuthing and I found that the leader of this group is a is a American of Japanese descent. So he's he's making it confusing for people just by being here. But that this is just an extra textural joke, Elliott. And the Japanese man, It's an extra textural joke, Elliott. It's a Japanese man,

playing a Chinese man who's denying that he's Japanese. Oh, here I, there's a lot going on there. That's very clear. Come on, ladies. This joke, it gets introduced once, then it comes up again. And by the last scene, it's like every other line of dialogue,

is someone calling ninjas and then denying it. And then someone, Terry Hatcher's like, if I say you're ninjas, then you're ninjas. And then two lines later, her sister goes, if my sister says you're ninjas, then you're ninjas. It's like, do they think we missed it the first 40 times they told this show? Yeah, you've become unstuck from the movie.

And now you exist in a realm where things are only ninjas or not ninjas. Yeah. We live in that realm, to be honest, That is a way of classifying the universes. I mean, that's a big, entire mortal combat. That's right. Ninjas are not ninjas. We exist in a binary universe where zero equals ninjas and one equals non ninjas. You can everything could be decided by that. You look at any object.

It could be an ninja or not a ninja. So, but here's a question. The movie Three Nenjas. Would that count as a ninja? Would it count as three ninjas? Would it not count as a ninja? Because it's a movie. Or because it's multiples like, I don't know, worry about it.

Anyway, so they're monks, but they're basically a crime gang and they want this, they want the mystical red lotus flower because if you eat it, you get ultimate power. It's the key to ultimate power and it's basically like an infinity gauntlet type thing, but in the form of a flower. But uh... It sounds a lot like heroin to me. What if it was like, they're just like, we want that flowers, the ultimate high. You, you hallucinate that you're the, you're the king of the world and then you die. It's amazing.

But that, Dan, would you give them the flower then? If it was just a, a drug. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, why am I keeping it? Yeah, that's why they called Dan the candy man. Yeah. It's not because if you call his name three times, he shows up. Yeah, I mean like why am I keeping it that's what they called day in the candy man. Yeah It's not because if you call his name three times he shows up. No, no, I mean no you call me once I'm gonna show up. I'm a lonely man Elliot

Like oh someone wants me someone's interested in me sure So So Samantha she didn't bring the Lotus with her because she she figures they're gonna kill her if she has it on her She leads the monks on a merry chase through the very wet streets of Portland Until she reaches the club where Ed brain smash her Moloise the Bouncer and we see he beats up again the thugs who try to push their way in and this guy I'll wait in the line goes now that's why they call him the brain smash Now that's why they call him the brain smasher. And then he laughs and laughs and laughs. The movie is like, we better, this, the term brain smasher can be taken any number of

ways. So we got to show him hitting someone in the head and then it being identified as that is the titular brain smashing. Because otherwise, who knows what they might think it is. I mean, because if that guy didn't say it, we would have to wait until Andrew Dysclay turns around and reveals that he's wearing a jacket that says brain smash shirt off the back.

Now, do you think like when it when drive came out and guys suddenly started wearing those like Japanese jackets like he wears and dry like Ryan Gosling wears? Do you think guys were just walking around with wearing jackets that said brain smasher on the back? Yeah, Dan, you were alive back in 1993. Do you think guys are just walking around with rain jackets that said brain smasher on the back? Yeah, Dan, you were alive back in 1993. Do you remember that? Yeah.

I mean, we're not that far off an age to it. I don't know why I'm the one who has to. Yeah, but Stuart's kind of a boyish type. And Dan, you've kind of like an old man thing going. So do you remember when the brain smashin' craze hit and everybody was wearing brain smasher jackets? Yeah, and the brain smasher dance. What the nation? Yeah, yeah, the brain smash. There is a brain smasher dance though. There is. There is. Did you see the choreography when they went into the concert? Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah. All choreographed.

It's like a weird, like a wine dancing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, okay. So that's a good point. We'll well, okay. So that's a good point. We'll get to that. I won't bother wasting time on my joke that brain smasher could have been taken as an oblique reference to the pangalactic gargle blaster. We don't have time for that kind of reference. Let's just keep moving.

Because she runs into the club unstopped by Ed Maloy. His bounce her abilities seem to be worthless on her. She just pushes past easily. And yeah, she ends up in the club where there's like this choreographed jumping dance. And it's a little bit like line dancing, a little bit like Native American jingle dancing. You guys are familiar with that. There's a lot of jumping in it.

You know I am. They're talking about a jing-pan. So good. It's good stuff. And they're dancing to some fairly dower rock music sung by a woman with a very low voice. Like, who's who's that that song that's in the in real-time bombs about how the woman goes out walking she doesn't

me go talking yeah it's like that but deeper and it's like I was like is this person doing like a more lated detrack impression but like if she was a rock singer anyway I found it very confusing and then she sings a song in the soundtrack later and I thought it was a man singing until the song was listed in the credits So that's me. I've sounds like gender assumptions that are not okay. Let's do it This is the kind of club that vampire Chris or Brandon would go to in the fright night It feels like it feels like somebody went to they saw but they went to the club in the beginning of the hunger Where bowhouse is performing. And they're like, this is a cool club.

We're gonna take this New York style and we're gonna bring it to Portland. And when they got to Portland, they did not have the talent on hand that Bauhaus was providing in a major city. They also forgot the cages. Yeah, and the cages. They forgot about the chainling fences and the cages

and they're like, we don't need it. Like it's Portland, things just a little bit like more bespoke here. Yeah, we don't have to do that. And having those cages and they're like, we don't need it. It's Portland, things just a little bit like more bespoke here. Yeah, we don't have to do that. And having those cages and fences might have protected them from what's to come, but we'll get back in a second. Yeah.

Yes. Well, I like that the brains measure seems totally fine with Terry Hatcher pushing his way past him. Pushing his way past, yeah. Pushing, sorry, pushing her way past him. Theushing his leg past, yeah. Sorry, pushing her way past him. The guy, the other bouncer comes out and is like, hey, you punched out these two guys and he's like,

yeah, this lady, you know, got past me though. And the guy's like, oh, lady, got past the brain smasher. And suddenly, dice clays like, you know what? My ego won't allow this to stand I have to go find Terry Hatcher. Yeah and the assumption is also so the implication is like oh so he regularly smashes the brains of ladies. Yeah. And it's a good thing he runs in after because the Lotus monks storm the club they remind everyone they're not ninjas again because they're gonna keep doing that. They start beating up the band for some reason.

They don't really understand. Like nobody is, these ninjas could've just walked into the room, no problem. But they just start beating people up and then jump onto the stage and start hitting the band. But there's that one part, like the first woman, it turns her ass with dancing, and she's drunk, and she's like,

hey, then, then, then, then, you just clocks her right in the face. Like, you know, it was just like a split second. Oh, that's so weird. Yeah. That was when that was okay. You could do that in a movie. It's still be a likable villain.

No, it's it's a, yeah, it's, I don't, these, these guys, maybe they're not ninjas, but maybe they should be because they say, I mean, I don't want to take the samurai side of things because that was clearly a feudal system that was not fair to those at the bottom who often defended themselves by joining secret organizations where they had to hide in the shadows. But I'm glad that you're taking a big stand here. But I'm not saying I'm pro samurai on this, but samurai looked down on ninjas as scum who hid in the shadows and had no honor and these Shallin monks supposedly they have no honor

Maybe they are ninjas anyway deep in their hearts. Okay, so Andrew Dice Clay catches up with Samantha Terry Hatcher And they he kind of escorts her away helps her get out. There's some very disjointed banter that's like an attempt at, I guess like a bogey be call type thing where they're kind of like insolent with each other, but instead it just like, it reminded me a little bit of the scene in mentoring candidate where Janet Lee hits on Frank's matra and it's like they took four different conversations and jangled up all the lines and just threw them out randomly. It doesn't make any sense.

It's just like negging her. It doesn't make any sense. I guess he has this true. It's just like the pickup artist wrote the dialogue for him. Interesting. I did see. Mystery did have a story by credit. Anyway, in my note, I have, my notes I've written here, the not-in-just joke is getting old. I had no idea that it would return so many times. And so Samantha Hire's brain smasher to protect her.

She doesn't have enough money on her, so she gives him the fancy $10,000 watch, thus beginning the next running joke of the movie, which is this watch being brought up and people going, oh, what kind of idiot praise $10,000 for a watch. And there's a lot of that throughout the film. And we never really get to see this watch. And I found myself being like, I want to see what kind of watch costs $10,000. Like that's crazy. Oh, it does it have a calculator in it? Yeah, that's right. Like, Dan, what would, what would we have to see in a watch? You can write boobs on it. You can write boobs on it if you turn it upside down. Like Dan what what what what we have to see in a watch

You can write boobs on it if you turn it upside down. Yeah, so you can turn upside down it strapped your wrist nice going Well, what I have in a ten thousand dollar watch it would obviously have an image of Garfield But the arms are part Simpsons arms. So it's like a fuck up arms or part Simson's arms. So it's like a fuck up. It's like a man print. Yeah, it's like it's like the stamp with the plain upside down. I love the idea. There are all those character watches of like Garfield or Mickey Mouse. These characters who don't really care what time it is. So how can you really trust them to tell you what the proper type like Garfield knows what time of day it is. He's a car. He doesn't care. Garfield cares if it's a Monday. He cares about the day of the week. Sure, but my wrist watch isn't going

to tell me that. Now you're living in a science fiction world. It's just like finding Monday, not Monday. Monday. His whole calendar is just Monday or not Monday. But I think the joy of getting a watch that has Garfield or some other character stuck in it is that it feels like they've been in prison. For all of eternity. Oh, yeah, by some kind of wizard spell. Sure. Take that.

This is the karma for sending normal to Abu Dhabi, where she had to be a migrant worker who was killed in a construction accident. Oh, that's Dubai. I'm sorry. I'm thinking of Dubai. I'm sorry. Oh, dear. Oh, boy. I'll issue a formal apology on Twitter tomorrow. So it's the and so before the episode is released. So front of it, dude. Yeah. Gotta get in front of it. Gotta cut it off. I'll be like David Letterman. The stuff he did, that wouldn't fly today, but he admitted to it years ago, he's like, oh, what a national treasure

with this big, big old Santa Claus beard and all that stuff. So the monks start walking and they walk everywhere. They're always kind of doing that kind of rush walk that people who have to get to the subway pretty fast, but they don't want to look stupid or uncool. So they just kind of walk like super fast. They do that everywhere. And Eddie takes this time to explain his origin to Terry Hatcher, which is that as a teen, he was at a club and someone hit him with a bottle because there was no

bouncer. And ever since then, he has devoted himself to bouncing. That was great. Because they felt the need. They had to explain why he does this. It's so sweet. It's so sweet. Oh yeah. And it's a lot of sense. It's really, it's like one of those things, I can see why he was haunted by it for years,

and went to Bouncer School and devoted himself to it. They need to take some. And the scar on the bridge of his nose is about as noticeable. I mean, it's, it's like how Deadpool is super nervous that he's too gross for Marina backer and to love him when you're like, you look fine. Like, I don't notice the scar. That's fine. You don't have to, it's not that big of a deal.

You don't need to be a bouncer for that. Well, it's like later, he gets beat up and Terry Hatcher is like, oh, you look terrible. And all that had, all they did was like put a little bit of dirt on the side of his face. There's like like she has very high standards. They go to Eddie's got to get the keys to his car. So instead of going to his apartment he goes to his parents place. His mom of course is played by Jerry Seinfeld's mom on Seinfeld and shows she has ranged. She can play a Jewish mom or an Italian mom.

That's a lot of range. Eddie asks his dad for $20. He's already, this is love interest material. He keeps his, he's at his parents' apartment. He has no money on him. He's a Vouncer named Brain Smasher with a label jacket that explains who he is, that he clearly made himself. He keeps his car registration on top of the fridge too apparently, which is the weirdest car.

Yeah, not his car. Why not just keeping in your glove compartment, dude? Maybe it's a Portland thing. I don't know. I don't know. It's just like he's taking it out every time being like, all right, if someone steals my car, they're going to get screwed if the cops stop him. the cops stop him. Uh, the, uh, the monks, they leave and they, and uh, the monks show up and tell the parents that their psychiatrists were after this crazy woman Samantha who's telling a crazy story and they're like, oh no, our son is in danger. Well, you should go to his apartment. It's over a place called the Lotus Cafe or something like that because every business

in Portland seems to have the word Lotus in the name in this movie. Yeah, and Portland is the city of roses, right? Not Lotus is. Yeah, I don't know. I as far as I know that's the city of strip clubs. That's what I've been told. Well that's also why it's funny when later when they go to strip club. The one you tell me about it's clearly just a regular bar where they have one woman there. Yeah, it's like one woman in a tiny tiny little stage where mostly it's a thing. Yeah, it's like the stripping out code and a lot of arcade games. And I learned a lot about their forced cover policy. Yeah, their forced minimum policy. I was really happy when Vice Clare was just like, hey, you do what you got to do.

She was like, I got to charge you the minimum and Clay was just like, hey, you do what you gotta do. It was just like, hey, I gotta charge you, the minute of moment, he was just so polite, you know? I mean, he knows the Bouncer's code. And as his mom says, he's never broke a law in his life. He's even though we've seen him smash brains. Oh, yeah, that's not breaking a law. Yeah, that's not breaking a law. The police are like, oh, he smashed that brain

in the line of duty. We find him not guilty. This is a moment to tell you guys about the funniest thing I saw one time in Portland, which was, as Dan, you mentioned, there was a strip club there. There was a strip club that was called like Pussy Cats or something like that. And then across the street was an animal hospital. And I kept imagining some situation where a dancer slips and breaks her leg and they're like, look, let's just take her across the street.

There was a situation once where I met someone who had been a stripper in Portland and I mentioned it to them and they did not find it particularly funny. But, you know, who knows? Some people found this ninja joke super funny, who knows? Anyway. Oh, thanks. They go to they go to Ed's apartment so that they can use the bathroom and he teaches her his fighting technique which he's called the one he calls the one two which is just you punch a guy in the balls and then you give him an uppercut to the chair. So do we learn that he has been

looking at a calendar with a picture of her on it, serotoniously. Like, because at one point he's looking at the calendar and then he like hides that and she mentioned she was in it. So are we to believe that he has like, he has a crush on her already? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And he's naked. He's like, you know, maybe you'll, maybe you'll look at it someday. Would it December, you know?

It's not. Because he's, look, guys, he's, he's a brain smasher. He doesn't know anything about the heart. The brain is the organ disease, still. He's not a heart smasher, no. Well, he's found Samantha has smashed his heart. He doesn't know how to deal with it. Guess what happens? The monks show up in attack because this is the pattern of the movie is Samantha and

brain smasher go somewhere, monks attack, they run away. attack because this is the pattern of the movie is Samantha and brain smasher go somewhere monks attack they run away Samantha and brain smasher go somewhere else monks attack they run away this is where this is where the monks climb the walls of the building yes and they're climbing outside the window in the rain and you can very clearly see that one of those monks has a support wired to keep the stunt performer from falling off the ledge. Yeah, unless we're supposed to believe that the monks are using support wires, this whole thing.

Oh, that would make sense, yeah. But I will say there's a lot of really good, like running up walls and flips in this movie, at a time when it was exciting to see a movie where it's like, oh, this guy knows Hong Kong movies at a time when like, not a lot of American movies were doing Hong Kong movies stuff. So it's like brain smashers full of like, and there's a lot of these long takes

that people walk through always, like those like hard boiled long takes type things, where it's like, oh, this movie is bringing all this stuff in that I guess was only available in america in direct video movies probably well it it fell a little bit like if a little bit like somebody saw golden child and wanted it to be funnier with a less exciting star whoa what are you saying about and i'm sorry i said it was funnier You can't but it doesn't have the best part of Golden Child that dancing Pepsi can. Yeah, I mean that's...

Or the grossest... No, you're on. The grossest what? I gotta find out what that was. The grossest part of Golden Child where he dips into that oatmeal and there's blood underneath it. You mean, that's delicious. Is that blood? I thought it was like strawberry juice. Oh, steward. You sweet naive child. Yeah, so you shouldn't have had seconds. April, what were you gonna say?

I think most people don't know that Alfred Piann actually studied with the boone and a curecturus out. Really? Yeah, I'm not even joking. He had an internship when he was in Hawaii. actually studied with the Fune and a character of Salah. Really? Yeah, I'm not even joking. He had an internship when he was in Hawaii. He got a letter from the Fune to comment beyond whatever his next projects were. And he was like a shadow director on all of them.

Really, yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, so he learned from like the people who were actually making movies in Asia at that time and you can see some of that expertise like as much as I love just Huns of shade onto this I actually know what he's doing like he's like his directing is not that bad. It's not good He does that thing where the camera is placed a Little bit closer than you would place it to a person's face in an American movie. Yes. But not so close that it's an extreme close-up.

Like in the movie possession, they do a lot of that where it's like the camera's just a little bit closer to someone's face. And I love that. Like there's a lot of just like you're just like slightly closer than you would be normally, but it's not up someone's nose or anything like that. So it's an exciting way to frame dialogue guys. And you mentioned the like the ominous walking down hallways scenes and that's like that totally still works like for no. There's nothing in the story that would make me nervous, but like watching in the movie I'm like, oh wow, this is pretty tense.

Yeah, and there's nothing should make nervous because the monks attack brain smash repeats them up pretty tense. Yeah. And there's nothing she should make and nervous because the monks attack. Brain Smash repeats them pretty easily. They bust into the apartment next door, which is Brain Smash's landlord, an old lady. She's attacked by the Red Mashed monk, who's particularly feral. There's always in bad guys' movies, there's always the lead bad guy who is the smooth, cool guy. He's always got his lieutenant who's a little more rabbit

and angrier than he is. And in this case, it's the Red M cool guy. He's always got his lieutenant who's a little more rabbit and angrier than he is. And in this case, it's the red masked guy. And she, she like tries to give him the old one too, but it doesn't affect him. And the old lady has the immortal line. This guy's got no nuts, which is the flip side of the immortal line Wolfman's got nards from us squad. So that's another binary right there. Ninja, not Ninja. No nuts, gotnards. Yeah, I remember that old advertising campaign gotnards. That was from the what the testicle farmers council. from the what the the testicle farmers council.

It's weird. They're they also advertise that as the other white meat, which I didn't I was not behind that too far. Dan, too far. All right. I'm sorry. You maybe shouldn't talk for a few minutes. Results also known Dan in the second half of an episode. Maybe a big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big a known Dan in the second half of an episode. Oh! Oh man! Stig of organ Dan. That's not true. I read letters. That's true. Good point.

Good point. Two shag. Oh wow, there are too many options about that. Oh fireballs back and forth. There's a lot of monks leaping around hallways the cops arrive and they arrest Eddie and he gets questioned by Brian James and Tim Thomas and it was super exciting to see Dalman slash Jack death and What's the character? What's his name in Blade Runner Brian James character?

He's the one who says wake up time to die, right? Yeah He's the one who says wake up time to die, right? Yep. I don't remember. I can't remember. Anyway, any of the guys who speaks with the hilarious fake, what, British accent? In tango. Oh, yeah, he's got that terrible in shakcent.

And they stick a grenade down his pants to get him to talk. Uh-huh. No. Anyway, I think the grenade blows up and kills him when they stick it down his pants. Oh, well, I guess I watched in my head I was playing the TV at it. I guess it was. But, and they're interrogating Eddie.

They think Samantha's involved in drug smuggling and that this red lotus is actually drugs. And they're trying to get him to flip on. And they're super aggressive about it too. Like they're like, they're threatened him with punching. Yeah, they're like, this is drugs. This is drugs. Stop pretending it's ninjas. It's drugs.

And they have like all these eyewitnesses. They're like, oh, a bunch of ninjas came by. And they're like, what's with the drugs? Tell me about the drugs. It's weird. There's a thing. and they're like, what's with the drugs? Tell me about the drugs. It's weird. There's a, then, but of course, the monks invade the police station. And I guess this was their version of

like the police station scene from Terminator, probably. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's exactly like that. Yeah, but instead it's monks and they cut the phone lines and they're beating up people all throughout the station while they're still doing the interrogating And it's like at some point they've got to hear all this fighting that's going on in the other parts of the police station Uh, guess what? Eddie and Samantha escape. Samantha very briefly has a cramp in her neck and Eddie rubs for a moment

It's such a and what's great about this is there's three things that are great about this. One is that this is hemangiography, where in the hemant cartoon, he would often pick up a bad guy, throw them off camera, and then they were just gone. That was not a problem anymore. So like, Eddie and Samantha are running from the monks. They turn a corner in the hallway, and they're like, oh, few. Hey, my neck has a cramp. Can you rub it? It's like, like you're still the same building and Number two, it's just it's that if Terry has Samantha is delivers it as if it is totally made up anyway And then Eddie beat he starts to like fake come on to her, I guess Like kind of fake kind in order to get her to move But it's also one of those things where he's like, I'm gonna pretend that I'm flirting with you, but maybe you're into it.

Like there's so much gross stuff going on in it, but it comes in like way. Yeah, it's like, yeah, maybe me and my step-sister, even though you're my step-sister, wouldn't it be weird if we made out or something? Yeah, exactly. That sort of thing. But it's like in this movie.

I'm writing a movie, guys. I was just throwing you some tests out a long time ago. Yeah, sure, yeah. I'm writing a movie guys. I was just throwing you some test I Yeah, yeah, I'm writing a movie it's three minutes and fifty seconds long You can fight it online And it's just in well, it's and it's a preview for a longer movie So the oh, but it's in this movie where there's like these Kung Fu monks that are chasing after

a guy named Brain Smasher. The thing that seems the craziest to me was that she would suddenly stop in a hall and go, oh, I got a cramp in my neck. Can you rub before me? It's super forced. We learn that the lead monk can catch bullets in his hands. And he throws it back so hard that it goes right through a cop's forehead and kills him. And that was cool.

It's a great moment. It was like, what else more? And I was like, wait, what? Like, you're like, the power of Andru Dice Clay is suddenly seems so weak in comparison to these monks. But it's also how come he keeps beating them up all the time? Yeah. I don't want to pull back to Britain too much

But a Dan and Sue and I are doing the show soon where we watch a different movie where someone catches a bullet and throws it back at another person This was a major Hollywood release with big stars in it and it looks so goofy and bad in this version of the movie But in Brainstmasher, it's a pretty fun thing Even though the bullet wound is clearly just like a circle, like a very sharply defined circle of probably like a like carosirup blood on his on his far head. Oh yeah. It's a anyway Samantha and Eddie escape but Eddie's like oh no I'm running out of juice. I don't think I can fight this. They can catch bullets. This is amazing and she's like the bullet catches an easy trick. It's blanks in the gun and then there's he's already got a bullet in his glove and he's like

don't ruin the trick for me. When I watch the prestige I don't want to know how they do it but he's outmatched and Samantha's like I can't believe that you're talking about quitting and this is one of those things where I was watching the movie and I'm like they've only known each other for like 20 minutes of real time but she's already like you the brain smasher. You're gonna quit. This is crazy They part ways much like Shrek and Donkey do and Shrek and Yeah, that's what it says in the script It says imagine a future movie

Future star Mike Myers He was a star in 93 Future star Mike Myers. He was a star in 93. Yeah, come on. Wayne's world was big. It was huge then. Wait, in 93 when the Wayne's world come out. It was already on the set at SNL TV show.

Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. I'm going to look up when Wayne's world's got you keep talking. You do that. You look up when Wayne's world came out. Because Stan, it's Wayne's world. We're just living in it All right, thanks the worst thing would be if it was Before Mike Myers huge star number one box office hit probably I don't know

Look up look up its box office performance. Okay. That'll keep me busy for a while That's what you're trying to do, right? Dan, I'm just trying to task rabbit you so you can get on the one that the monks track down Samantha. They're following her on the street and Eddie appears and fights them without her knowing behind her back, but then they get away again. And the monks, she calls the hotel that her, she gets a voice message. She calls her messages on the phone because this is pre-cell phone days and she probably has like an answer phone service. And she, and there's a voice mail saying, oh, hey, your sister's staying

at this hotel and she said to you to call me. And so she calls the manager and says, oh, yeah, my sister's there. He's like, yeah, meet me at this place. Okay, great. I'll take you where your sister is. And then we show that the lead monk is there and tricked the manager into doing this. Why he had to do this since we've just seen the monks literally following like 15 feet behind her on the street. I don't know. I guess it's a series of redundancies because every good system has a redundancy built in just in case. By the way, Wayne's World,

Wayne's World was the eighth highest grossing film of 92 Yeah, but I wanted opening weekend box office. Yeah, it was number one at the box office Yeah, it was I think it says wait. It says Bafo B.O Yeah, it's body order was Bafo So the Samantha goes to this bar where she's I guess supposed to meet a tell manager. I don't remember exactly where she went there. Yeah. She's meeting somebody there. She goes to a bar. There's a woman stripping there and a little stripping out cove set off to the side of the room. And there's a ton of arcade cabinets that nobody is using. And I just couldn't I had to know what games they were and I did not freeze frame to find out. The manager of the place hits on her and she gives him the one too.

He's already learning stuff from the brain smasher. Eddie walks in. Who's the manager, is that like, he's a name, right? He calls himself Romeo. He calls himself Romeo. He calls himself Romeo, but it's not his real name. And so he's not his real name and So he's not the title character from Romeo is leaning

About it. Oh, thanks for the clarification. Oh plus Juliet Yeah, yeah It equals fun That was the original tagline me Kind of equaled Moulin Rouge, right? Yeah. That's a good one. Do you guys remember when the movie My Girl came out? There was a commercial.

It was like, get ready for the wildest, the whenest, and the wackiest adventure. And my sister went to go see it. She was like, he dies if he is. She was like, it was neither wet nor wacky. I think there's a scene of them jumping in a lake or something for wet, but it for wet is just like, it was a very misleading commercial. Yeah, any, yeah, any time, any time my wife sees a trailer that lies to her, such as,

I don't know, the lobster. She's like, that, that fucking trailer, my girl, me. I don't know the lobster. She's like that that fucking trailer my girl me Eddie comes in and She says what happened to you? You look terrible. He looks the same. He just has some dirt on his face They flirt Eddie doesn't like this bar. It doesn't have a bouncer and she calls him a straight-up guy That happens the monks show up Samantha insults them a lot. There's a fight Samantha runs away and puts on a lot. There's a fight. Samantha runs away and puts on a disguise and she's protected by a Ruben-esque dancer who hits

the monks with her boobs. Not to bring up Mortal Kombat again, but I do like how this dancer and then Terry Hatcher's later disguise makes her look like Siddon Del from the Mortal Kombat games. And so this is something I want to ask you guys. Terry Hatcher changes into more revealing clothes. They're like super tight shorts and a see-through top. And she keeps, and she puts on a wig and a cloak. Because like, she's escaping

as some kind of sorceress stripper. But maybe that's, maybe it's like, you know what, it's like that Empire Strips Back thing that's been advertising all over LA. It's like a Dungeons & Dragons theme strip show. So that's why she puts on a cloak, and it's like her cloak of visibility. Do you guys, that makes sense to me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. So I bet in her mind when she puts on the disguise, she's like, I better come up with

a backstory. Well, it's like a D&D theme dance, because I'm always looking for ways to, it's like flash dance. I'm always looking for ways to push the envelope and like really express myself. And she's like, I wish the burlesque movement was, yeah, I was at its peak now because that would be more fitting for me. This kind of dancer. Okay. I've got my car.

Yeah. It was most likely, it was most likely, as I said before, a mortal combat theme strip show, which would be called what? Uh, uh, Dan. Uh, uh, Stuart. Uh, oh no, a redirection. Um, uh, uh, mortal combat with a CPU. No, it's too high. I hope you know what I'm going to say now. Uh, wait, wait, wait, wait,

mortal combat. All right, that's better. Mortal Kombat. I like the first one. Yes. The first one though, I like the idea like there's come and use a bat to hit it. Yeah, you're hitting that. You're hitting a guile with a comeback. Yeah, just to get it away from you. Yeah. Dan, in baseball in the year 2125 has become a very different sport. Yeah.

You're instead of even petrified, you have to be a jackulator. Yep. It makes it very hard to come up with taunting rhymes because you say, we wanted a jackulator not a, doesn't rhyme with belly itcher what are you gonna say yeah yeah a smaculator yeah yeah smaculator doesn't work you say shut up shut them just play the game properly and then the the Philly fanatic who at this point is has been a numerous porn films I have to assume. He just shakes his head like disappointing guys. Disappointing.

Yeah, sure. Anyway, anyway, we don't have to spend any more time on that world combat theme for Lesk Show. But so she creates this character. She puts on this disguise. She walks past the monks. They see through it instantly. And she doesn't even sell the bit.

She just takes her wig off, takes the cloak off off and she's running around this out for the rest of movie and I want to ask you guys did this seem as gratuitous to you guys as it seemed to me that she changes clothes for one moment for a thing that doesn't work and then she's just stuck in that outfit the rest of the movie. That was definitely mandated to get like money for the movie like that's what she had to dress up in like a sexy outfit at the same time. I was definitely mandated to get like money for the movie. Like that's what I had. She had to dress up in like a sexy outfit at the same point. Yeah, like that's what they do.

They're like, hey, show a woman's tits at least four times and then they find a contract and that's like contractually obligated. Like a woman's nudity or happy with it. They're obligated to find it. And seriously. That's how the business works, Elliot. I don't like it. Yeah. When I moved out to LA, I thought it was, you know, glamour.

That was a dream factor. It's made of garlands, making runes. Yeah, the dream factor, exactly. I thought it was going to, it's like the end of the Muppah movie, right? Yeah. Is that sad? The end of the Muppah movie, it's like... The end of the Muppah movie is weird because they get their movie contract.

They start making their movie, which, look, they're also doing all the sets, which seems weird, because Hollywood is their movie contract. They start making their movie, which they're also doing all the sets, which seems weird, because Hollywood is a union town. So it's like, yeah, it's so anti-union. What kind of studio is this Orson Wells running that the Muppets have to, they're already not in the director's guild, they're not in the screen actor's guild,

they're not in the writer's guild, and they're making their own sets. And then everything falls down and explodes because of Crazy Harry, who is a maniac. I don't know why they keep him around Yeah, that's like a liability you could get sued. Yeah, exactly and then The ceiling crashes in and a rainbow comes through and it's kind of a happy ending Dan you're you're the you're the resident manic Muppet maybe maniac. Is that a happy ending or sad ending?

Like everything that involves them up. It's it's a bittersweet ending. It's Look, life's like a movie right your own ending People even cry every time they get to that part. Keep pretending. No, it's beautiful. I mean like it I mean their movie has been destroyed obviously But but there's a you know all the muppets are together. They've got a rainbow. They've made the rainbow connection. Yeah, now Dan. Now the muppet movie is a great movie, but you have to admit that the movie they're making looks pretty bad. I mean, I have that problem much more with muppet's take Manhattan where I'm like this musical sucks. This is like sub mom and me a level musical that they're putting on. sub mom amea level musical that they're putting on you like there's so few Broadway houses out there that aren't taken up with jukebox musicals that are

long running for the tourists and now you're gonna take up one with this garbage yeah the plot time revival closed in less than a few months the entire plot of this movie this musical seems to be that somebody's getting married and the two six on that just goes somebody's getting married. Yeah, it's all somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody. It's like, it's not as good as porcupine racetrack in terms of actually being a musical. No. Right? Yeah, the state's porcupine racetrack, yes, a sketch making fun of musicals is a better

musical than a Muppets musical. Well, hot takes, a lot of hot takes flying around in terms of brain smash. Okay, so Samantha's wearing her sleazy outfit she runs away Eddie is captured by the monks. Oh, no Samantha gets to the church where she's supposed to meet her sister and She admits to her sister that she might love Ed and this is when the sister explains that eating the lotus flowers gives you God-like powers. Whatever you want happens, and she gives like three or four examples of this, you think of a horse, you get a horse.

You think everybody loves you, everybody loves you. You think you have your own TV show, you have your own TV show, and I want to, Samantha be like, yeah, I got it, yeah, I got it. It's pretty clear. Meanwhile, who is the leader of the monks, whose name I forgot to mention earlier, he's just breaking Ed's fingers for no particular reason. They, everyone decides to meet up for an exchange at the club where Ed works. They're gonna trade Ed for the Lotus. And

this somehow becomes Wu's threatening Eddie. So he's gonna kill Eddie unless Samantha says out loud that she loves him and that the logic is very tortured as to why we want to hear this or what this Like the romantic So he's like I wanted ultimate power, but I'll settle for being a cupid for you to like Like who is become such a Yentavis in this moment But Samantha has a gun that she got somewhere. Where did that gun come from? Do you guys remember? Samaritan, dude.

Yeah. Yeah. It's an indictment over society. Yeah. What's brain smasher was like, no, I don't use gun. Yeah. Which was very interesting and very interesting statement on the part about culture and American. Yeah.

He was, and he said that even other bouncers at the clubs, a carry guns, but he's not going to use it. There's no honor in it for him. Yeah. There's no honor in it. He's a regular ghost dog. Yeah. So they throw, it's like they start shooting the monks. And some instances goes catch and throws the containment unit with the lotus in it to woo. It starts skittering all over the monks, and some ancestors go catch and throws the containment unit with the lotus in it to Wu. It starts skittering all over the floor like an antidote in a temple of doom, Shanghai nightclub, and Ed and Wu are scrambling for it, and Wu just starts kicking everybody.

It's just like he's kicking Samantha, he's kicking Eddie, it's all kicks, and then finally Eddie, he realizes Wu's secret weakness. And then finally, Eddie, he realizes who's secret weakness. He can't kick you if you hold onto his leg. And he catches his leg and then punches him in the face, hard enough to smash his brain. Yeah, that's the thing. I thought that was going to be like,

he discovers a secret weakness that his brain can be smashed. Yeah. And if, well, do you want to describe what it looks like when your brain gets smashed, the first time we really see it. Oh my God, it's just like a sharp hay dog or something. It's like he has two craters where his eyes would be. Yeah, two big craters. Like really wrinkly.

Yeah, very wrinkly. Yes. And an old man's neck on his face. It doesn't necessarily even look like the shape of a fist hit it. It's like, no. Like somehow we got deflated a little bit and his eyeballs got sucked in his head. It's like part of his face got replaced replaced with like an egg carton but really wrinkly like yeah you put crepe paper all over an egg carton and then stuck it in his

eye sockets. Yeah. I mean because the hoof-brained Roger Rabbit when you get you get steam rolled. Oh yeah. And then the eyes kind of old kind of thing but yeah. But the opposite. Yeah, he just got flattened with the eyes inside they're not exploiting his brain. He's like what's like how some bull frogs they close their eyes

when they're eating because their eyeballs actually push the food down their throat while they're so all the way there. He was like that. He got it was so. It looks it looks a little bit like if you went up to a sketch artist at a Comic Con and you're like I want you to draw ET, but he's a man Sketch artist is like okay, I'm getting like paid nothing to do this So I guess whatever you tell me to do I'm gonna do it. I guess I'll fulfill your fantasy here It's good just take time off of drawing Nate nude Aunt May and that guy's sketchbook Because people do I remember once being at a comic book show and And I was talking to Evan Dorkin and this guy walked up to Evan Dorkin was like hey can you do a sketch for me?

He's like yeah, sure what do you want? He's like well the theme of this book is supervillains drinking soda And he looked and Evan Dork he just looked at him like what? Look at what he looked at. So, anyway, Wu, despite having his brain smashed and his eyes pushed in, he eats the lotus and then promptly dies because Samantha's sister swapped in a poisonous substitute for the real lotus. Why didn't she do this from the beginning? Earlier? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. And then she leaves and they're like, hey, so and so was it was it would it have worked if he ate it? And she was like, I don't know, I don't believe in that stuff like I'm a botanist. I don't care.

Did she truly, I don't think she cared. She's like, well, you know, whatever. Yeah, she just wasn't interested in it. And she just brushes off like killing a dude through poison I should this true Eddie has smashed a man's brain and now he has the moral high ground because he didn't she didn't trick someone into eating It's also throughout the movie people they keep saying we're being chased by these killers these guys are killers But we never see them actually I guess except for the cop that they throw a bullet through the head of who shot at them first We never see them kill anybody else. They just kick people But then they did the some of the sisters straight up murder sin anyway Pian was obsessed with the warriors and that actor who plays Cammy the sister she's

warriors and that actor who plays Camille is this girl she's Marie from Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I know. And so Ed compliments, Ed and Samantha are left alone with a bunch of dead monks in this nightclub. And he compliments her hands. And she admits eventually that she likes them. And then they both admit that they love each other. And then they kiss. Credit's role, we never find out who we underdised play was telling this story too.

As we said, framing device does not frame It's like when you have one book end and the other book end is missing so the books just fall down a lot Yeah, so brain smasher. I love story It moves up to the title. It has a brain smash in it and it's also a love story. Yeah Yeah, as they sound the internet it does what it says on the tin. It's It's 100% there Now I've never saw a pyromaniac love story is this a set of similar movie April no

All right there's also risk cutters a love story. Oh, yeah, and there's also a trend Yeah, it's because it the trend of like the like ironic subtitle was vague for a while So I even expect this movie to have a love story as the subtitle And then there's the movie love story, which is about a guy who smash his brains love story semicolon brain smash a brain smash your story

that's the cutting edge so you thought the cut you thought a cutting edge was the cutting edge is about a woman who let her eyes got slid across. I thought that that was why she was oh no that was Jennifer 8 that I'm thinking of. I'm so hurt. I thought you think of the eyes of Laura Mars. I think I think I'm thinking of FX the deadly art of illusion. Okay. We're Brian Brown's girlfriend's blind, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what you're thinking about. So here's the part where we make a decision about this movie. Whether it's a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or movie you kind of like. What does everyone think guys? Oh wow, Dan, you're not even an answer your own question. I'll answer. First.

I feel good to say how we feel about it and then April will silently judge us. So she tells us how she feels about it. Yeah because she made us watch it. I actually feel like this is hovering between a good bad movie and honestly a movie I kind of like because like I was watching it and I was thinking to myself, you know what? I'm enjoying this movie a lot more than supposedly good movies that I've seen. Like, it works for me in a way that a lot of prestige films don't necessarily work for me. I mean, it's accomplishing its goals. And we were talking about, you know,

Andy and I play weirdly, not a bad actor. I mean, as Stuart and I were talking about before the taping started, it's not like he has a lot of range I mean he's playing he's playing the and her dice cake rate clay character but he plays it very well and it does feel like he didn't show up for any of the choreography lessons before any of the action sequences a lot of the action sequences just look like he's like rolling around. Yeah, but I mean, if a movie about a bouncer who attacks a bunch of ninja monks, they're not ninja men.

Maybe they're not like that. I would get mentioned in the movie, but they're not ninjas. I was splitting the difference by calling them ninja monks. But if that sounds appealing to you, like a Kung Fu movie where it's the Kung Fu is versus a bouncer sounds appealing, and this is a good movie for you. Yeah, if you're in that specific cohort. I think that's a Netflix category. Yeah. It says, if you're interested in Bouncer versus Monk movies, you should watch the fifth season of a rest of development.

I'm like, Netflix, that algorithm doesn't make sense. I'm going to help out. I'll do it. You go. Yeah. I think I'm going to go with with I think it's a good bad movie I feel like it's tough to be critical of it because it does feel like it's doing it's exactly the movie it wants to be It might be a little slobily made but like I

Don't think I think it's for the most part when it's being silly It's intentionally being silly or it's very difficult for me to tell what's intentional and what isn't intentional. So yeah, I mean, I think it's like I think it's a pretty fun good bad movie. I am going to go the other direction in Dan's where I'm going to say it's a movie I liked. It's a, and I expect it to not like it because I don't know. It's a, it's got a dumb title. I hate the title. I hate anything that puts a love story at the end of it. But I was like, this movie, I genuinely found it funny in a bunch of places.

I genuinely enjoyed a lot of the camera work in places. Introduce Play is perfectly serviceable as this bounce a character. It tapped into the crush I had on Terry Hatcher when I was like 13 years old. And she was on Lois and Clark. And like I was saying, it framed the shots where people were talking with the camera a little closer to their face than you would find an American movie, which is a kind of framing. I really enjoy. And the colors in it are really good.

And it does have brick bar to himself Tim Thomas and the doll man Yes, yeah I mean he doesn't he doesn't shrink down and be doll man, but yeah, I mean That's one check in the minus column I was watching this movie on headphones while my wife is doing something else in the same room and I was like And she was like what happened and I'm like dull man is in it and she was like what and I was like He's in a movie where he's an alien cop but on her. He's like a hard-boiled cop on earth. He's 13 inches tall He's the best of a doll and she was like don't even tell me anymore

So yeah, I enjoyed this movie April you picked this movie for us to watch I did I'm so happy that some of you like it Stuart I'm a win you over yet. I said it was a good bad movie. I feel like that's not oh, I guess I guess I have one foot on the shore Basically, I like to the ways that it was very discolored. It's a good bad movie The real stars of this are the fully artists who had to do so much walking on streets. It's never ending just shoes because they're walking so often. And I remember watching it like the second, the third time. Wow, wow, the fully artists are really, really great.

That's a pretty cool thing. You know, you can't when you watch it in multiple viewing. Mm-hmm. So you would recommend watching Brain Smash or probably three times in a row. At least three. Yes, I would say. Just to really get the full smash of it. Hard and the brain smash. That would be your quote if the movie came out now you'd be like, Smash is your brain and smash is your heart. No, it's a god to be a critic in 90-Bree.

That must have been a glorious time. Yeah, you have your MTV show. It's start local, local regional television. Oh yeah, that's it. And then we get national syndication. What would it be called? What would you call your like, Ebern, Sysco at the movies type show?

Wolf pick. Nice, that's pretty good And like pick is like pack foot. It's got an eye in it instead. Yeah, yeah, yeah Totally got it. Would you spell it PIC like picture like movies? Oh shit Guys, we got to get time machine. Go to 1993. Pitch this show. Mm-hmm. I mean, I feel like there's other things we could probably do with the time machine.

But sure. Name one. Name one catastrophe we could have heard. There aren't any things we go great since 1993. It's been perfect. Hahaha. This is Mirror Universe AdMPRANICA here to tell you not to listen to the greatest discovery on MaximumFund.org. This is Mirror Universe Ben Harrison, uncharacteristically agreeing with you despite the fact that you are my enemy.

The one thing that you must never do is enjoy our bit of off-season Star Trek Discovery programming where we talk about the first season of Star Trek Discovery while at the same time unpacking news and information about the upcoming season 2. So do not tune in and download the greatest discovery on MaximumFund.org or wherever you get your podcasts. And rated one star on Apple Podcasts. In a world dominated by dudebro movie podcasts. A world where Casey Affleck has an Oscar. An Angela Bassett does not.

Only one podcast is brave enough to call bullsh- Who shot you With Ricky Carmona a lot of people don't know ports Puerto Rican Alonzo Duraldi. I would eat oak job April wolf. I want to interrupt and say that the fish man was real sexy. Dre a Clark. I have a real soft spot for King Kong and women of color. I was like, damn! I could have done final cut. I could have done final cut. It's literally the world's status to Orgy. As believes me, I'm from San Francisco.

I've been to San Orgy. Who shot ya? Listen every Friday on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. or wherever you get your podcasts. So we got a few sponsors that we should mention. Oh, thanks. What are you saying thanks to Dan? I'm saying thanks to Archie has smashed his face into my mouth.

I brain smashed you. Yep. Archie the cat brain smasher. Our first sponsor, the flop-out sponsor in part by Mac Weldon. You can look good and feel great in Mac Weldon because I'll tell you something. They believe in smart design, premium fabrics and simple shopping. It's a very easy and convenient shopping experience to go to Mac Weldon.com. Yeah. I soup this Mac Weldon.com. I hope it is.

Otherwise, I have screwed up this commercial royally. So Dan, did they give you, maybe look a little bit farther down in the ad copy? I know. It is Mac Weldon. I've never always reviewed the ad copy in the last one. The ad copy was ahead of time, so you know it is it is Mac well that I've always reviewed the I've been to the head of times you know it by heart like maybe just glance down and the URO is probably there at the bottom Mac well done for your butt right yeah look they've got a guys they've got a line of silver underwear shirts that are naturally anti-micial, so they eliminate odor, like the shirts eliminate odor on their own.

It's like a science fiction thing. Yeah. So you could just wear that shirt a couple days in a row and you'd be fine. Might as well call it odor smasher, a shirt story. Yeah. If you don't like your first pair of underwear, you can keep it and they'll still refund you with no questions asked. You don't like your first pair of underwear. You can keep it and they'll still refund you with no questions asked.

And I mean, no questions asked. So. So. Dan, let me just mention, you're not going to unlike that underwear. You're going to like a lot because it's a really quality piece of underwear and undershirts are really good. And the silver ones are really good. Speaking as a Mac Weldon user,

you're going to like the way you look if you look at yourself in the mirror before you put your other clothes on. And also the look is not the important thing. It's more the wearing of it. So you're going to like the way you wear it. I guarantee you. All right.

Well, that's changed just enough to not be the luckiest of anybody that's been. Nobody can sue me now. Just for the listener, go to MacWeldon.com and get 20% off using promo code flop. That's MacWeldon.com, 20% off with promo code flop. And secondarily, but not, I mean secondarily, only in listing. Thanks for clarifying. Did it in importance for him? We didn't break the sponsors, donarily only in listing. Thanks for clarifying. Not an importance for them. You say we didn't break the sponsors.

Don't worry. No. Our other sponsor tonight, or whenever you're listening to this podcast, is Squarespace. Squarespace. You can create a beautiful website with Squarespace to turn your cool idea into a new website, showcase your work, and ask not to come in an event or special project, or do a little e-commerce, you know, sell

something, make a little scratch with Squarespace. Yeah, when you find a... What? You Squarespace. It's a monotonic... Yes, it's squarespace.com. The place you're supposed to go for squarespace. I...

You hate it when you're supposed to have a square, but of time to get a square-sposed dot com the place you're supposed to go for squares i you hate it when you're supposed to have a square but you don't have one but a square-sposed now that i'm in a lot of that's actually have a serious business proposition uh... square space reaulter are you gonna pick are you gonna picture new movie review website wolf pick yet called the whole big dot com leok a lens place for movie reviews on the web your new movie review website Wolfpick. Yeah, it's called Wolfpick.com.

Elliot Kaylin's place for movie reviews on the web. Now, it's only movies because I'm not saying that's a name. What? It's only movies from 1993. Yeah, it's only movies from 1993, except for the film Wolf, which I think came out a different year. It's either 1993 movies or Wolf-based movies.

So I mean, which means you could have like the quarter version of the jungle book in it. I think that has a wolf in it. You could have a white fang, you know, it's balto a wolf. Let's just say that he is. Sure, he's close enough. Technically, yeah. So Dan, I had an idea for a website and I'm hoping Squarespace, Squarespace, I'm sorry. I'm not talking like a Dan. See how it happens? Now I'm hoping Squarespace can help me. Now this movie really inspired me, but I was thinking, why stop it brains? Why not smash any organ?

And so at organsmash.org, it's a nonprofit. If you have an excess organs you're not doing anything with, just send them to us. We'll smash them, or we'll send you a kit to smash them at home upload your video to the website Be part of the community, you know be part of the Oregon Smash world It's a place where friends can meet friends just smash each other's extra organs now. I don't know about you guys I have two kidneys. I'm not using one of them It's just like extra. I don't need it So I think I might take it out and just smash it and just post the video and get things started and

I was just so Oregon smash it or it just smash it. I'm just supposed to video and get things started. And I was just so, or a good smash it or it is a nonprofit, as I mentioned, all proceeds go to the LA Kaelin Foundation for money, which is another nonprofit that's oriented towards giving me money to buy things that I like. And Dan, I wondered if Squarespace might be able to help me with both of those projects. I'm pretty sure it can. I think Dan's responding to an email now. help me with both of those projects. Uh, I'm pretty sure it can. I think Dan's responding to an email now.

Uh, no, I was. I was saying whether the slogan for the Phantom was either smash evil or slam evil. Slam evil slam evil. It was slam evil. Yeah, originally it was called brain slammer. Moving on the watch. Yeah, thank God they changed the title so that all these people saw it.

You can do everything you want to, Elliot, because Squarespace gives you beautiful templates created by world-class designers, powerful e-commerce functionality, free and secure hosting, and nothing to patch or upgrade ever. Oh, that's great. I don't ever want to patch your upgrade ever ever. That's great. I don't ever want to patch your upgrade things. Look, if you want to do this, why not check out squarespace.com slash flop, where a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website.

We're first first. Or a copy. Thanks, thanks group. Thanks. Thanks, Elliot. Thanks. Hey, do you guys think wedding crashes would be different if the title is wedding smashers? It sounds more violent, right? I mean, it sounds like the November rain.

Because the cake gets destroyed. Yeah. Yeah. So. Here's another question. Do you think when Billy Corgan was a kid, probably like eight, he went to the theater, saw brain smasher and was like, I want to smash brains. I want to smash pumpkins. Wait, when he was eight, was that back when he played the kid on small wonder? Do Billy Corgan do that? I think that was, that was like a long running urban legend when I would, when like, smash and pumpkins first came out, was that Billy Corgan do that. I think that was that was like a long-running urban legend when I went like smash and pumpkins first came out was that Billy Corgan was the kid on small wonder. Like how

people thought Marilyn Manson was the friend from wonder years? Yes. Yeah it's exactly the same thing. Where how people thought the karate kid was Ralph Macho? That's her religion you still hear today. That's our religion you still hear today. Alright guys, before we move on, this one last thing we should do, which is plug our live show on Saddle Washington. Oh cool. Right near by the time we're releasing this show, it'll be very close to the live show. Yeah, so tell us more about this live show. I'm excited about it.

It's at the Neptune Theater in Seattle, Washington. I know, see. It's at 8 p.m. on June the 30th. That's Saturday. So you don't have to go to work tomorrow presuming that you don't work on Sunday, which some people do. Yeah.

Priests. Uh huh. Uh. A lot of people in the service industry. do? Yeah. Priests? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. A lot of people in the service industry. Sure. Yeah. True health. I don't know who else, Dan.

Alright. Well. I mean, if your garbage pickup is on Sunday, which is probably not, then garbage men would work that day. I don't know. Police officers. I think people at Trump's golf clubs work on Sunday.

Oh yeah, that's a big golf day. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So, if you're not in the golf industry, you can come to our show. I mean, you can still come to our show just, you expect you have to go to work the next day. Yeah. All right. I mean, just don't stay out too late.

But if you don't have to go to work the next day, definitely come to the show. Because we're going to go late, right Dan? Probably, if previous shows are any indication. And Dan, are we announcing the movie for it? The movie in Seattle, I believe is the mummy, the new star Brendan Frazier. No, no time for us. Where's Carlov?

No, the Thomas Cruz one. Oh, right. The one that was going to kick off the dark universe series What what I can't wait for that next dark universe movie Yeah, hey April you're you got your finger on the pulse of movies. What's the next dark universe movie? I Don't care. I really am trying not to pay attention to it. But what but it's a dark universe. Oh, it's I think I heard it might be that sci-fi channel original leprechaun reboot. Wouldn't that be awesome? Is it they're like fuck at the dark universe? We're just going to do leprechaun.

They're like, look, people don't care about the universal monsters anymore. At least they don't care when we make half-ast-action movies of them. So we're gonna assume people don't like these characters. So we'll just do the leprechaun. Well you're not talking about like the World Davis leprechaun. You're talking about like a different leprechaun. Yeah, the new one that's coming out. What? It was announced. Yeah, I think sci-fi is producing it. Oh my god. Okay, all right.

I'm more, oh, this African movie. Yeah, until the until the dark universe includes like the mad balls or some shit. I'm not I do it. They're just taking through a Toys or Us catalog from like 1989 looking for these muscle men are they available? That would be incredible dude. What about these robots that turn into rocks? We could use those. So that's gonna be a really fun show and as always this is my promise to you the attendee. When we do our presentations before the show which we do at every live show. I will be doing a presentation explicitly tailored for that show only, which I will never perform again.

So you're either going to go to that show and see it, or you're never going to see it. And it's a presentation about Seattle. So we'll a certain radio psychiatrist making appearance in it. Possibly. Wait, he's going to, Kelsey Kelsey grammar is gonna come to the show don't tell anybody moving on though I actually got I got the number one Kelsey grammar

impersonator in Seattle also grammar bloody grammar day in Seattle September 11 well both said that it's very sad. Both said that it's that day and said that Seattle was like, what do we got going for a Scelsie grammar?

All right. We got to increase tourist traffic. It's like, it's like the opposite of the Robocop statute Detroit. That was a scandal. I think we talked about it before. Maybe not where. So that rovo cop statute got kickstarter funded and Detroit said we don't want it. And I have to say I understand Detroit's point of view on this one that they did not want a giant monument to movie all about how bad there's views. How it's a crime-infested

sewage hole where people turn into mutants. Uh-huh, but maybe that statue would depress crime. People will, in that... Yeah, they might, that's too hilarious. We'll see Robocop and they'll be like, oh, look better now. Oh, let me get rid of my nuke. Yeah. I think the statue would depress Detroit and its residents.

Oh, this is what we're known for, huh? There has to be, I bet you there's, it's the same way that like, there was that the statue of Captain America that was briefly up in Brooklyn, and I remember seeing it and being like, look, I love Captain America. I love the Marvel comics. I do not, this doesn't really make much sense to me partly because he's a superhero who's based in the Lower East Side of the comics. But this idea that like, oh, there's all these statues to like like real dead people and then there's one to Chris Evans as Captain America.

But like there must be a statue to Detroit to a real police officer who was killed in line of duty at some point and that that statue would probably look at the Robocop statue and be like oh really. Okay. Well Elliot what about the statue to Ralph Kramden in Sunset Park? It's at a it's at port authority isn't it? Oh I thought it was in Sunset Park. It's at Port Authority, isn't it? Oh, I thought it was in Sunset Park. Okay, it doesn't matter.

I mean, that too. That seems crazy to me. And what about the statue of Rocky in Philadelphia? Don't even get me started. At least they moved that so it's no longer at the top of the stairs of the Museum of Art where it's literally like, Phil Lofi's like, this is our idea of art.

It's a statue of Eskis Lohan. Like the only way that gets away is artist if Jeff K Coons sculpted it. And then I'd be like, okay, maybe I don't know. Um, we should move on though to letters. Okay. Actually, wait, can I tell a very quick story about my son, the four year old son, the art critic. So we went to, we went to the Libre at Tarpitz. It's a great place to take a four year old. And it's right next to the LeBraya Tarpits. It's a great place to take a four-year-old. And it's right next to the art museum, Lackmothal, Los Angeles County Art Museum of Art. And there was a big, I assume it's a Jeff Coon sculpture

because it was a big balloon animal, shiny sculpture off in the distance. And I was like, oh, Samuel probably liked that. We should walk over to it. And I was like, Sammy, let's go over to that sculpture. It's this big shiny balloon animal. And he went, I can see it. It's just like that. not worth the walk, okay?

Get it, Sammy. Yeah. All right. So, our first letter. Now, we thought that was going to be a longer story and left to see. He walked. He took his drink last and walked into the kitchen and He's yelling that he's coming back as if oh good as if we as if I had imagined that he was leaving the podcast forever

And this was the way it shows and this isn't his jack par moment where he's just gonna walk off stage in the middle of the show All right, here he is What I miss story about Sammy. So this is our, this is the segment where we read letters from listeners, listeners like you. And the first letter is from Ben, last name withheld. Who writes? Ben's been going to write. Hey guys what's been gonna write in this letter? April Wolfe is here to find out what this letter will say about Ben. Bye Ben, to Ben, to us. Hey Ben, what's on your mind today? Hey Ben, hope you'll be kind today. Hey Ben, compost that rind today because you're not gonna eat it, but it could be used to enrich the soil in a public park perhaps a farm somewhere dark. We're inside that dirt, the worms will churn and they'll eat up that rind and take their turn.

At making the world a more fertile place for the plants and the flowers all over the space. That is this world that we share. This letter is brought to you by Ben. So, April, how was that for you? How was that being in the same room as that? That's good. Hello. Oh, thank you.

Normally, when I would sing that in the same room as Dan and Stewart, I'll lock eyes with them. They can't escape. But I was embarrassed. I remember when people looked them. So they can't escape. But I was embarrassed. I remember they looked away. Oh yeah, and I couldn't. I didn't know I didn't, it's like, when there's like a car stop and like,

you're not sure if you could walk across the street and just look away and then they could drive through this stop sign. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, so you treated me the same way you would treat like a very quiet homeless person. Well, you're like, if I don't look at them,

I can tell myself I didn't notice that they were there. Maybe they're not asking for change. Maybe it's just a man who hasn't taken a bath in a while who is taking that paper cup to get it filled with coffee somewhere. Yeah, maybe he's doing one of those Diablo Cody writing exercises, right? Yeah.

This is from Ben Lashville. So Dan, what's Ben say? What's Ben going to say? Last name, 10. Ben going to say. Well, he writes, Hi, Peaches. I listed to your USS Naphtown episode while hosting a sleepover for no fewer than six 10-year-old boys, my son's birthday party.

Thank you, firstly, for helping me preserve my sanity during this challenging time. There was some debate among the boys over what movies to watch. They finally settled on Johnny English were born and major runners scorched trials. A classic example of committee think leading to mediocrity. Alas, but they seem to enjoy themselves. Anyway, this got me thinking about sleepover-based movie experiences. Are there any formative and appropriate or just downright head-scratching films you guys remember saying during sleepovers at friends' houses growing up? My memory goes back to 15-year-old me and a bunch of my friends excitedly beginning a blue velvet and then being variously traumatized over the next couple of hours. Also I have a random

memory of my friend Nick and me renting and watching the sluggish grown-up Neon War Filth flick Tequila Sunrise one night. Anyway over to you. So sleep over movie experiences. I have two that I remember I Remember I think it was the same Friend of mine I watched the 1985 TV movie the midnight hour starring Sherry Belafonte La Vare Burton Sherry Belafonte. Yeah Okay La Vare Burton. That was when Harry Belafonte

liked Tireesius had changed gender at the whim of the gods. Yeah. Kevin McCarthy was in it to Dick Van Patten and Wolfman Jack and Kurt Whit Smith looking through the and you're recounting this all from memory. Oh, I see. Yeah. And it was a kid you were like, whoa, Kurtwood Smith. Kevin McCarthy, amazing said 10 year old damn McCoy. It was a TV. He was in the space. A TV-based horror movie about using an ancient scroll or something to... Well, it really made an impression. All right. There like monsters overrunning the town. But the other movie. Dan, I cannot begin to imagine the stories you're not telling.

This is the one you're choosing to tell. And then we watched weirdly enough the 1964 comedy Advanced to the Rear, which is a very strange choice for a sleepover. Are you familiar with this Elliott? No, I am not. The I have DVD page says a Union Army outfit of misfits and rejects a sender of the Western territory. Southern spies try to figure out what they're up to. So it was a 64 black and white comedy with Lin Ford and Melvin Douglas and Jim Backus. It's a very strange choice for a group of 10-year-olds watching a movie as a sleepover. Yeah, it's not even like you could be like, oh, this probably has nudity in it, because as soon as you saw it was black and white.

Yeah. So this was a dead end. Well, for you, maybe, or me. Not even a dead end, but I've been. Yeah, I think the two movies that I watched the most as sleepover movies were repossessed with Leslie Nielsen and ski patrol with you know the Cassis ski patrol. You might you might see them when you look into the night sky for they are etched among the stars This constellations of the cast of ski patrol So you were more into the saucy comedies. Yeah, it was super into saucy comedies with funny fart sound effects and all right, you know that type of stuff

I remember my friends and I we watched would watch a Kira a lot. Like, Kira was a big sleepover movie once we reached a certain age. And also, like, Monty Python movies, but we'd always have the experience of, we'd start watching the movie, we'd fall asleep before it was over, or our parents would tell us we had to go to sleep

before we turned 12 or 13. And then the next morning we would finish watching it. So all these movies where the most crazy stuff would happen at the end of the movie but we'd be watching it the next morning. So I remember very clearly the first like watching Life of Brian and the first time I ever saw the scene where Graham Chapman opens up the window and you see his penis. It was like my friend's mom was just making breakfast in the other room. It was a weird way to see this movie. Remember, we, uh, some friends of mine, we rented

Mac and me. And it was the only time when we were watching the movie and my friend's parents said, you guys have to go to sleep and we were like, okay, that's fine. And we finished watching it the next morning more out of obligation than anything else. It was like, okay. I love that movie. Oh, it's. It's not me about wind power. How so?

There's a lot of wind turbines that I didn't know those existed. Oh, okay. It's really the whole thing I got out. I mean, that's the best anyone has ever gotten that. So. Uh, any sleepover movie memories. I wasn't popular. I didn't do sleepover. But I did stay up late with my grandparents every night.

I love movies today. That's kind of a sleepover. Yeah, so the first movie I can remember watching with them. We watched it a lot when I sleep away. Oh, okay. That's crazy grandparent choice. Yeah, my grandfather's favorite movie is The Ice Cream Man, starring Clint Howard. Clint Howard. That tells you anything. So, you know, we watched a lot of those over and over. April Fool's Day was a big one. Uh-huh. That's, you guys remember the cover of that, the VHS? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not particularly.

What did it? Yeah, yeah. It's like another back turn right? Oh, rice. And grated in her hair. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that was one of my favorite, uh,

that was one of my favorite VHS boxes to see in the video store. I, uh, reminds me of home. boxes to see in the video store. Hi. Reminds me of foam. My, when I was a kid also, I had epilepsy, which is something that I grew out of actually, which is apparently the thing that happens from time to time, if you can just grow out of epilepsy, but I had to get these brain scans that I would have to do while I was asleep. Well, like in the movie, brain scan.

Yeah, so to make sure that I was asleep, I would have to stay up the night before, so I would sleep through these tests. And my mom was very sweet, she would stay up with me, and we would watch movies. And I remember- It's like a really nice story, dude. No, it is very nice. Yeah, why don't you tell that story first? Instead of making a sit-through of this other, you know, this thing names from a TV movie you do remember. But I just remember that one of the movies that we watched

was Shelley Long Inn, Hello Again. So that was an interesting choice. That reminds me of a time when my mom and I, I think we were cleaning up the basement and we were finishing late. I was probably like 14 or something. And on HBO, Aliga their own was starting. A movie we had on tape, like we owned it. We could watch it whenever we wanted.

We could have said, oh, Aliga our own, that's good. We'll just watch it tomorrow. But instead, we were like, yes, we're watching this. And and so we watch League of League of our own to like two in the morning And I think I had school the next day like I don't know You got a note from your mom Sorry, excuse Elliott today on account of Penny Marshall's Story of female baseball players It is a good movie, yeah.

At least getty, so tragic. This next letter is from Devon Last Name with Held, who writes, Hi Peach Squad. On a recent day at Home Sick from Work, I watched for the first time a movie that has been oft discussed on the flop house. Teen Wolf.

Even though I'd never seen the film, the whole thing felt so familiar because of the many times I'd heard you guys discussed it on the podcast. There was Teen Wolf surfing on the car, just like Stuart said. There was the Civil War play, just like Elliot said. There was Booth being way cuter than that blonde girl,

just like Dan repeatedly said. And there was that, and then there was that dick nose t-shirt I'd heard so much about. So my question, what movies have you never seen but feel familiar with because they're seeped into your brain via cultural references, discussion by loved ones or some other means. Bonus question, who would win in a fight between Teen Wolf and Teen Witch? Keep flopping hard, gentlemen. Devon last name withheld. Well, is it a fight or a basketball game? Yeah, where is it a rap battle?

Yeah, well, well, Teen Witch isn't that good at rapping. It's her friend who's really good at it. That's true. She is really good at it. Yeah, you can't talk that. What do you think Teen Wolf or Teen Witch? Oh God, I'm Teen Witch all the way. Okay. Yeah. I thought I was her for all of my life. You're like any minute now. These witch powers are going to be so long. I was like, I was sure it was going to happen.

It's been because when you're a girl, they tell you they tell you that you're gonna get Which powers? Every single media said that and we were all disappointed Still waiting Day next year It's the story from Dumbbell will show up late like oh, I was supposed to deliver this years ago. Here you go What was that was a TV show where the girls dad was a alien and she got this world out of this world. Thank you. Yeah, his her dad, the voice of

hurt Reynolds was a was from Venus, I think. No, some other planet, not Venus. Okay, but that's the same sort of thing. She gets the same power as it. She was she could stop time and all that stuff stuff Yeah, I think and she she's I think it the last episode revealed she's a sleeper agent to overthrow the government or something and aliens take over the world and They eat our babies, I think yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's how that end. That's how small wonder ended to yeah What if the girl from out of this world? It's a League of Extraordinary gentleman type thing. It's her, the girl from Small Wonder, Alex Mack. Definitely Alex Mack, yeah. And then, I guess Clarissa would be the leader. She doesn't have any powers, but she kind of like knows that she can explain it all to them.

Sabrina would definitely be there. Yeah, Sabrina's on it too. That's our team guys. All right. All right. I guess we've answered that question. So, answer the fan part of the question. To answer the other part of the question. I've never seen, I feel like that's already an Alan Moore comic book, right? But with way more creepy sex.

Yeah, that's, yeah, I don't want Alan Moore's version of it. Yeah. Okay, to answer the earlier part of that question, I've actually never seen pretty woman, but I make, I reference it all the time. I've never seen Daysden Confused. What? I spent at one time I did a side job transcribing footage for a documentary about the behind the scenes of Daysden Confused, and I transcribed something like 30 hours of footage. And so I haven't seen the movie,

but I feel like I've seen behind the back of the movie. And so I'm like, I get it, I get the deal. I don't need to watch this movie. I was doing it as a late night job after my regular day job. So it would be really late at night. And I'd be transcribing at times silent footage of night shoots of the movie

and it started I started feeling like I was in the footage. So not only I've lived days to confuse I don't need to watch it. Sure. Which is also this one when I remember saving private Ryan came out my grandmother said I don't need to watch that I lived it. And I was like you didn't fight in World War II grandma like this. Just like I was behind enemy lines saving that day but I don't need to see that movie. Your grandma sounds cool. I feel like she is very cool. I feel like this is not necessarily true of movies that I still haven't seen, but it's

true of movies that like I have, I've seen, but like by the time I got around to seeing them, they're already in my mind. Okay. For instance, like Citizen Kane, I saw the Bobo episode of The Simpsons, and that's basically Citizen Kane. And so by the time Citizen Kane ran, I'm like, oh, that's what all those jokes and the Simpsons were about. I get it now. I feel like Simpsons' references to movies was the primary way I was introduced to classic movies. Yeah. I feel like the sort like alien was something where I saw

space falls long before I saw alien. Right. Of course you did. It's amazing for a long time. Yeah, because it's the greatest comedy ever made. But it's like for a long time, it was like, oh, yeah, the movie, but like I knew there was a movie where an alien popped out of a guy's chest that I did.

And I knew space falls making fun of it, but I didn't know that movie. Yeah. Now, of course, I would make you the fun of it but I didn't know that movie. Yeah. Now of course I watch Alien all the time. Space Balls I haven't seen in a while. Hold up. The last time I watched it a little bit of it I was like this is not the movie 12 year old me thought it was. What about the alien scene that still works though right?

Because it's John Hurt that's hilarious. Yes it's the guy and the puppet's pretty good. Yeah he's doing like the Detroit frog like the hell of my Michigan J frog. Michigan J frog. Detroit's in Michigan so she gets partial credit. Yeah but the Detroit frog. Robo frog.

He's actually from a Lansing. A lot of people don't know that. This last letter is from Ian Lastname withheld, Ian McCuy of Minor Threat. It writes, probably. It writes, a few months ago, I moved into a apartment just north of Flatbush. While coming back from my gym near the South Eastern corner of the park, I noticed none other than a Popeyes. Remembering that the favored Hinchaland's bar was nearby, I thought for a moment this might be the legendary Popeyes that Elliott would visit before recording episodes. After pausing to look upon the church of

Fred Chicken, I realized that of course you guys didn't all just live near slash above Stuart's bar in a sit comic fashion, spilling your triumphs and troubles in your spot at the bar every time while embarking upon various shenanigans primarily in your three main stages the bar the recording room and the writers room of the daily show where other Exasperating employees would always question Stewart's routine appearances in the office despite him not working there That's actually kind of feels like the times I visited you guys there. That actually kind of feels like the times I visited you guys. So what if there was a sitcom about the flop house? Would it be multi or single camera? What catchphrases would you guys have? Would there be an all musical episode where Elliot's frequent singing infects the entire cast? How many seasons did Dan's knee jokes last, the list goes on. Stay peachy, Ian last name would help.

So I just, I mean, I mostly enjoyed the story about him having these delusions about us, all living in a sitcommy world where we had like three sets that we... Yeah, there was a time where we were considering Considering like hey, so we do this dumb podcast could we figure out a way to turn this dumb podcast into a TV show and The version of the show I pitched was basically that but with like an old movie theater So I think we were running an old movie theater, but we could only get bad movies, right? Yeah, I think it's a great idea Or I think it's like Dan and Herod said or something and we were like forced to go with him We're forced to be as butler by a judge The uh

It's something that I hadn't really thought about but I should have because describe that describing that where we all live in the same place We all hang out in the same place like growing up as a kid, I wanted that so badly. When I would watch a sitcom like Friends or Seinfeld or even like Charles and Charger save by the bell, it was like, oh, each character has this one group of friends that's like five people. They spend all their time together. They hang out at the same place. They always know they're going to be there. Like it seemed like such a a like as a kid with that without a lot of friends It was like like what a beautiful vision where I have this circle of friends who know everything that's going on with me because we're always hanging out and We have this one place and I had this

Fantasy of like someday when I'm a grown-up. I'll have like a restaurant I go to and when they see me they'll me, and they'll go to the usual, and I'll say yes, and then I'll get the food that I want. Because that's how it wasn't sitcoms all the time. And then growing up, I'm like, this sounds terrible. It's like you're trapped in a relationship prison. You only go to one place, and you only know like five people. Like, where's the rest of your life?

But... Yeah, it's kind of depressing when people actually know what you're going to order at a restaurant. And you're like, oh, I should go someplace else. Yeah, or try one of the other things on the menu. Yeah. Yeah, that's an adult watching like friends or something. I find that so baffling.

And they're just like the idea of these five people just hang out at the same coffee shop all the time. Just horrifies me. And they also live across the hall from each other. So it's like I mean my roommates and the guys across the hall from each other. So it's like I mean my roommates and the guys across the hall, their roommates, you know what? Let's go hang out at the coffee shop together because we're offering like they don't see anyone else. They're always around each other. It's like you would get so mad at these people like you need. It's like I think

it was like there's a lot to be in this closed universe, you know. There's got to be in this closed universe you know there's got to be at least one episode where an outsider explains that like it's dating I don't know Chandlow is that one of the characters yeah yeah Chandlow the Magnificent yeah so they tell Chandlow like yeah Joe Joe the dog face boy the whole this friend takes place at a circus it's a carnival made a midway that they all get yeah yeah so I'm I think there's an episode where somebody's like yes It's a carnival made midway that they don't forget. Yeah, so I think there's an episode where somebody's like, yes, I'm hanging out with Jimbo and Febes and Monaco.

Ray Tron and Rossi Gator. Yeah. Well, there was, there's that Seinfeld episode where Elaine hangs out with the Bizarro Seinfeld characters. And they're nice people. And it, but it was also, it was like, oh yeah, there's no reason these characters can't hang out with other people, you know. But you also see in that we were, my wife and I've been watching some early episodes of Seinfeld

and you see like, there are more extra characters. Like, the characters will talk about other friends that they have, much more than in later episodes, where they were just like, whatever. It's just these four people. They're the only ones they know. They're probably like in hell, and this is, you know, what their punishment is. They're stuck in this world.

Yeah. It's about you. Yeah. The baby episode. We've got a friend, so the baby. They've got another friend. Yeah, there's another friend. Or like, Elaine has a roommate early on and the character disappears after a certain

point. But also, it's later on you notice, I don't know if you noticed this, but in later episodes, later seasons, at the end, there's the production logo for Bad Robot. And at that point, I'm like, they're in purgatory. But that's the secret. That's the, there's gotta be a twist. Oh, come again lindal off That the other thing about watching Seinfeld now is it's depressing how young the characters seem to me now where I'm like Watching it as a kid. I was like oh these are grown-ups and they're like adults and they're like probably like my parents age

And now to watch it now and there's one episode where George is like I'm 33 I'm 33 Wait They also all dress their clothes are crazy, which is hilarious anyway, it's not felt I don't know if you guys are hurt of it Try it out. I mean that's my recommendation. Oh wow From brain smash this measure right now. I mean, that's my recommendation. Oh, wow. It's been a great one. It's been a great one, Jason. It's been a great one, Jason. It's been a great one, Jason. It's been a great one, Jason.

It's been a great one, Jason. It's been a great one, Jason. It's been a great one, Jason. Oh, yeah. And I mean, Anteri Hatcher from Brain Smasher. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that the actor plays Wu was in an episode of Lois and Clark, the new adventure to Superman. And I started trying to think about what his relationship with Terry Hatcher was like. At first I was like, oh, that must have been really fun, that they were reunited after being a brain smash on them. But maybe like, maybe she was really not nice to him. And they didn't get along, and now he's like, oh, I gotta work with her again.

Or she was like, rubby in his face, that she was the lead on a network show. And he wasn't like I just I kept getting caught up in my fan fiction of their behind the scenes interactions. I think they were having a fair. Really? I mean it's an intense movie. Brain smasher yeah love affair. They called them the brain smasher babies. The babies that were born of illicit love affairs from behind the scenes. Sure. I think they try to make them to a movie with Vin Diesel. We didn't have a set on it. Brain smasher babies. Yeah. Yeah. It was adapted into Babylon AD actually. Oh, that was the lost episode. Okay. Hey guys, let's do our last segment.

Okay, um, hey guys, let's do our last segment. Mm-hmm, which is called recommendations. Okay. Why why don't we do that at the movies that we seen? Recently or not so recently that we liked hey, do we have do you need a second on that I second that motion okay? I devote on it. I think the motion is passed and and uh... uh... procedure but okay i'll go first i guess uh... i watched a movie i went out and saw a little film recently called upgrade starring a guy who looks just like tom hearty like i seriously spent the entire film thinking that i was watching tom hearty and then like i thought that was tom hearty

in that movie yeah logon martial green logon martial green he's the the trailer and i thought it was at first when i saw the trailer i thought it was a trailer for vana which yeah because like venom it's kind of a similar storyline actually yeah i can say this the symbiote is a bit of an upgrade right guys sure i mean not with the effects in the trailer right guys? Sure. I mean not with the effects in the trailer. So the effect in the trailer look like he ate too much gushers and that's what's like splirting out of him all the time.

Tom Hardy's normal face is scarier than that weird venom face. You're right. So upgrade though is about a you know future world where Logan Marshall Greene's wife gets killed and he gets, he turned into a quadriplegic by these street goons and he wants to take them out and he gets the opportunity to do so because he's given an upgrade by a guy who implants this stem chip in his back. OK. And I'm only laughing because it seemed like you're really going through the motions describing the plot until you got to the

upgrade. And then you were very excited about it. And so, yeah, it's like you remember it like something awesome about that It's interesting though because like it's set up to be this This normal like revenge movie. And it does a few interesting things, like the guy and it is kind of not necessarily that into the idea of having revenge.

Like he wants to go about it in like kind of a more normal way, but he sort of gets forced into taking revenge in an interesting way. And- But you're real seeking justice is what you're saying. No, I'm not saying that at all. And it takes, is it like a nice bit on your grave? No, there's no way. Mr. Payback. Okay, yeah, none of these are accurate. Okay, so just pay back then? Yes, it's exactly like payback, the remake of Point Blank. No, it's, it does some things that are, like, the movie is dumb in the best way, but it does

some, like, things that are smart in ways that I didn't expect. Like, for instance, there's a cop character who's on the tail of the lead character who's a lot brighter than cop characters in these type of movies are, and she actually, you know, like really kind of is on him from the start. And the guy who gives him the upgrade is not just like, I'm going to give you this technology and I'm going to let it go. He's like, no, I'm going to give you this technology. I'm going to monitor what the hell you're doing with it, which is

kind of an interesting wrinkle to what goes on in the movie. And the movie just surprises me in a lot of ways. Like it goes places that I wasn't expecting. And it feels like a really kind of grungy 1980 style low-budget kind of science fiction movie with even like a few horror overtones and it's really splattery and gross in a certain way that I wasn't expecting and then just a lot of fun and so if you like B movies of a kind they don't really make anymore I recommend upgrade. Yeah I think this one's up my alley I haven't seen it. Yeah I think you would like it too. I'll go next. I'm gonna I'm gonna recommend a movie I

saw recently that I probably should have watched a while ago and that's making players movie I don't feel at home in this world anymore I think is the title it's a very long one and I could have fucked it up. Making Blair is a long time collaborator with Jeremy Salney or Salney Air who made a previous Stewart-Wellington recommendations, Murder Party, Green Room, and Blue Ruin. This movie stars Melanie Linsky, who is, I don't know, I feel like one of the most underrated working actors out there, like, I think it's kind of, it's kind of criminal that she hasn't gotten all the awards for everything, because she's always great.

She, so she plays the lead and she plays a woman kind of stuck in a life that she doesn't seem particularly happy with and she's going through the motions and she's kind of stuck in a life that she doesn't seem particularly happy with and she's going through the motions and she's kind of... You might even say she doesn't feel at home in this world anymore. You might even say that. I mean, I wouldn't say that. And she's kind of like woken up out of this by somebody burglarizing her home and that leads her down a path where she gets mixed up with some stuff that happens. She gets an upgrade. That upgrades name is Elijah Wood, who is fun in the movie and there's also there's and it's making Blair

obviously shares a sensibility with Jeremy Soney air so like when violence happens it is shocking and horrible and splattery Dan and I like splattery and I also want to point out that the the one of the villains is played by David Yao from the Jesus lizard who Does this great like crazy performance and it reminds me a bit of Dwight Yoke him from panic room and that I was like Like just super freaked out by this guy. I don't know. It's hard to explain But yeah, if you liked if you liked any of the movies that I've mentioned in this recommendation, you should totally watch it and it's on Netflix.

So just watch it, dummy. Hmm, okay. April, have you seen anything recently that you'd recommend or do you know? Yeah, I don't. I mean, did you guys already recommend revenge or on any of your? Yeah, not yet. I keep me to watch it, but I have an end chance

preventions I okay, so I'm a huge fan of Studying them and being like Taking a feminist lens and in looking at why they exist and what their function of purposes This one is directed by Coralie Fargeat, and it is amazing. It is like, God, how do I, it's equal parts like sustainable, and then just what the fuck? Like you think it's gonna go on a normal trajectory

of a vapor bench movie, and then things just get fucking insane. There's like a self-surgery scene. She brands herself. There's like all of these moments of just so much blood that there's no way that any human could have that much blood. Yes! There's one, I have to say, there's one scene with glass in the bottom of a foot, which is both hilarious and just, I had to look away. And I never look away from movies as I watched so many of these.

And I actually felt sick to my stomach and laughed at the same time. And it's rightly colored in, the ending is just pitch perfect. It's so good. So much fun so much wait the ending turns into the movie pitch perfect yes it turns into movie which is drew very more correct right no that's that's that's never been kissed or the and she was in that one with with uh to Jimmy Fallon

right after you say red no no fever pitch sorry fever pitch, sorry. Fever pitch. Fever pitch. It's perfect as the... Anna Ken Ritter, Akapella. Akapella music series. That's what that's called?

That's what it's called. Wow, somebody slapped on the DVD box. That's what that's called. That's what it's called. Same for a little. You can tell what movies I review. It's not, yeah. I remember my mom's review of Pitch Perfect 2, which was, she texted me, she goes,

I saw your friend, John Hodgman, and Jason Jones in a movie. It wasn't very good. I don't know. I guess I'll tell my friends that you didn't pick the movie they did for money. I have a lot of friends who love those movies. I think that I prefer a lot of blood. So revenge. Revenge. We watch revenge. I think it's I think it's streamable. Yeah it is. What's it streaming on? Like, I don't know, Amazon or your cable package.

Oh, okay. I know you can definitely read it from iTunes. I've considered doing so multiple times. Yeah, support gross movies. I feel like that would be your celebrity charity. Yeah. I'm gonna recommend the movie that I think I wasn't thinking of it this way, but now I am. I think it's maybe the 1940s version of Brain Smasher of Love Story in some ways. It's not, don't get too excited. It's not really though, but

which is a movie called Journey Into Fear, starring Joseph Cotton with Orson Wells in a small part. And then there's just like all the other people who were in Joseph Cotton with Orson Welles in a small part, and then there's just like all the other people who were in kind of the Orson Welles and Mercury Theater acting group. And Joseph Cotton is an American munitions worker, executive who's in Europe. World War II is broken out. It's 1943, and someone wants to kill him. And it's just kind of him on the run, interacting with various cookie characters,

and never really understanding what's going on at any given point. And it's this movie, it's super short, it's like an hour and 15 minutes. And it feels like one of these beat the devil of type movies, where they're just kind of like making it up as they went, and enjoying it themselves. And there's a really great final action scene where it's a shootout in the rain on a ledge outside of a building where Joseph Cotton is,

you're supposed to believe that Joseph Cotton is gonna have trouble taking down what is maybe the fattest assassin I've ever seen in a movie. But it's one. I know Dan Acroid was in Grispoin Blime. No, no, he's bigger than that. Come on. I mean, sure.

OK. That's a OK fair point. But when you think of Dan Acroid, you probably think of Ray Stance from the Real Go Suppusters cartoon. But that's not what he looks like. I guess he is kind of fat too, and that one. That's not what he looks like now.

He's not even a cartoon anymore. Now I know if you're me, when you think Dan Acroid, you think of a bell-dawr from the Conehead's movie, he doesn't look like that anymore, he has his head sanded down. Now if you're like me, I know what you're thinking. Dan Acroid, you're thinking of exit to Eden. He doesn't have a mustache anymore. He shaved it off. He doesn't have that.

He's no longer wearing bondage gear. All the time. But it's the same way that brain smashes like a very lazy, you can't even look at it. I think exit to Eden is similar to brain smasher that I think the only way you can watch it is by renting it on YouTube. We're having a fever dream.

Now, all I can imagine is what if Doll Man showed up in Exit Eden, this strange movie, that would be. Yeah, he ends up painting Rosie O'Donnell's house at the end. That's a movie, I think it's a thing in this very of its time and that it has a jewel robbery plot line. At a time where it was like, well, we're doing a comedy. I guess somebody's going to steal some jewels. How else are we going to have a comedy plot if there's no jewels that get stolen?

The same way that whenever characters in a sitcom would go overseas in a sweep week episode or movie, they'd always get mixed up with spies. Like, I don't know how we're gonna explain that the family ties crew is in Europe unless they get mixed up with spies at some point. Like someone's like, I feel like it mixed up with some spies. I feel like that did like wonders for like travel check, travelers checks or something. Because every time people went overseas, they're like, it's a hotbed of intrigue over there. I want to protect my cash with these travelers checks.

So anyway, the same way that brain smashes is a very fun, but pretty dumb, kind of late 80s, early 90s type of direct to video action movie. Journey into fear is a very fun but pretty dumb, kind of late 80s, early 90s type of direct to video action movie. Journey into fear is a very fun but kind of dumb, but 40s spy thriller in a way that like the movie, you can tell that it's like the movie doesn't really care that much, whether the what the spy thriller is and the character is never quite know what know what's going on and you're not you're not talking about wages of fear. No, not wages of fear the movie about truckers who are moving explosives through a jungle. It's very different. Okay, I can feel.

So I've never seen that which is, it feels like they took a real spy story and then like joke did up, you know, in a way where nobody really knows what's going on, nobody really cares, but it looks really good. Joseph Cotton is great as a kind of like a bumbling hero. Is that the one that ends with the thing about the cake? No, no, that's ministry of fear. Oh, okay. Ministry of Fear is a great movie too. Ministry of Fear, the first half hour of that is so creepy to me because the guy Ray

Meland wins a cake at a village kind of like fair and then he leaves and everyone's trying to kill him and he has no idea why. And as soon as they explain what the deal is with the cake, it stops being quite as creepy. But then yet he's he has to he's a ordinary guy who I think I get what he's what kind of trauma He was just released from mental institution now. He's being chased by people and they're shooting at him And he has to kill a man at the end and it ends with a joke about what he's gonna serve at his wedding The same the same way that the uninvited also with Ray Meland is a genuinely scoopy go scoopy It's made of ice cream. It's a Scoopy. It's a genuinely spooky ghost movie

that ends with a mother-in-law joke. It's like, Raymeland, I don't know what's with your movies. I always had a- I wonder if Raymeland was like, look, my thing is I end all my movies with a bad, like kind of hacky joke. And Billy Wilders like, I don't want to end lost weekend with like a hacky joke about like,

oh boy, I'm gonna have a headache tomorrow. And Raymeland's like, I don't want to end lost weekend with like a hacky joke about like, oh boy, I'm gonna have a headache tomorrow and Raymeland's like, well I'm walking off the picture then. Like I don't know. And Billy Wilder's like, look, we'll just shoot it. We'll cut it from the final version of the movie. He'll never know. And then at the premiere, I imagine Raymeland

is sitting next to like, I don't know, like Betty Davis or something. And he keeps nudging her in the ribs with his elbows like pretty rough stuff, but watch out, it's gonna be funny in the end. Like, watch out, here it comes. And then the movie cuts to the end without the joke. And Raymeland is pissed.

He's like, what the fuck? Like, what happened? And Betty Davis is like, just settle down, Ray. And he's like, this is an outrage. And probably tries to fight Billy Wilder. And like, I don't know. So, you know, one of some of it, like, who's, I don't know what really big movie star

who has to stop Ray Meland would be there. Like a tall guy, Gary Cooper maybe, I don't know. Anyway, so Jerry interfere. Or the sea ministry of fear. That's really good. And by go see, I mean, stream it somewhere. It's not in the theaters right now. It's a seven-year-old movie.

Go to your local library and ask the bar of the movie. Yeah, don't take my word for it. Going to Deadpool 2 and you demand to see ministry of fear. Go to Deadpool 2 whip out your smartphone and watch ministry fear. I feel like. Yeah, really loud too. No, man. All right. Well, this has been great guys. And I mean, that's's sincerely even though every time you say this has been great guys it sounds ironic. It sounds like you're about to dump us. Yeah yeah. It's been great but Dan's met a different podcast. It's about basketball, Dan's into basketball. It's called the Dunk House. They drink Dunkin Donuts and talk about basketball. Yeah. And Dunkin' My Nuts. Continue the bit, Dan, I

started it. No, I was just I was thinking about how great it would be to do a podcast where I was eating Dunkin' Donuts and drinking Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Uh-huh. A Dan. Let me just tell you, that's within your power. You don't have to wait until you find a genius lamp to make that happen. Don't lie awake at night, just wishing, oh, if only.

If only I lived in a world where I had a podcast right, Duncan Donuts and drank the coffee. If only, but I guess this is a veil of tears that we, that we exist in, that's too beautiful for this world, I suppose maybe in the next one. Somewhere, this is an alternate universe where the star is aligned just right and that universe is Dan McCoy, gets to do a Duncan Donuts podcast, but here it just wasn't meant to be. Right. It's not in the cards, Dan. You say as you look in the mirror at yourself. Sure, sure. We'd all like those kinds of things, but if wishes were fishes, you know what I mean? All right, well you make that happen. Wow, those insprisins firing words.

All right. All right. All right. Well, you make it. Wow, those inspiring words. You make it. You make it good point. So Dan, Dan, you go out and you make that happen. You make that Dunk of Donuts podcast.

All right. Thank you. Well, in a meaningful time. Well, thank you very much for joining us. Yeah, yeah. Hey, before we. It was fun. I forgot.

Sometimes I was on it. I was just excited to listen. Oh, thanks. Thank you. That's kind of how I feel most of the time, April. And I just, I think of reality as a TV show that I'm the star of, so I'm always talking. April, is there anything you want to plug? Yes, there's a lot of things I would like to plug.

We'll plug them. How about the podcast I'll mention those again so that Max von likes me. You should listen to Switchblade Sisters. Yes. I've got a lot of women filmmakers about their favorite genre films. And that's very fun. I have no idea what would be on the episode coming out when this comes out, but it will be very fun. And there's a lot available, so people can just listen to whatever they want to.

Yeah, you go back into the Batcattleog and really dig in. We do a lot of craft talk, so if you're in the nerdy stuff where you get to learn how films are made, that's kind of my area. And then Hushaatya is another podcast of with movies stuff and that's hosted by Ricky Carmona who is a very funny man. Yeah. I get to be basically the straight woman on that and interject with trivia and facts because that's what I'm really good at. I don't know. I mean, I understand about being the straight person. It's a valuable thing. Dan, stop talking about that stuff right now. All right. This is April's time to shine. Yeah, all right. Dan's like, yeah, yeah, I

know it. That's like, I was going to do a Dunkin' Donuts by cast. But these assholes are so busy with this one. Yeah. Yeah., off camera you can see Stuart Nelly being like, I don't know if you can handle a Dunkin' Donuts podcast, dude. You got a lot on your plate. Is there anything else you want to plug before we go? No. Okay. I was very dependent.

Yeah, even the idea of plugging other things. Too much. I don't want it. All right. We won't force you to then. Oh, I don't know what that would look like. It's a demanding you plug something. Come up with a product.

Talk about how good it is. Yeah, so this has been great, guys. Thank you as always. Yeah, are you breaking up with us. Yeah, but we gotta go now as we always do because otherwise we'll be in your ears forever. That's true. I'm not drinking.

Dan and I have been drinking. Oh yeah, Dan and I have been oh boy What do you want to build a rapport with me Dan? No, I We've been hanging out for the last hour the report has been built and we're in deep trouble And you've known each other for what about 20 years now? Yeah, oh wow that true. I don't know how to agree. I guess so. I mean almost 20 years. Yeah, I'm glad we got to the fucking bottom of this one. Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture, Artists Don't

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