The Flop House - Ep.#293 -- The Joke Thief

Episode Date: September 14, 2019

Smalltember (Smallvember) begins with a return appearance by the Flop House's favorite (insomuch as a terrible asshole can be a favorite) Canadian energy drink magnate-turned-filmmaker, Frank D'angelo, and his latest cinematic leavings, The Joke Thief. Meanwhile, Stuart reveals his love for all things Stu, Dan gives a few minor script notes, and Elliott's Nicholas Cage has snakes on the brain. You know? Honestly the Wikipedia page for this movie has almost no information. Movies recommended in this episode: Satanic Panic Always Shine Tea With the Dames LIVE SHOW DATES 2019! September 28 – BOSTON – WBUR CitySpace (early show SOLD OUT, but there are still tickets to the later show!) October 12 – LOS ANGELES – The Regent Theater

On this episode we discuss the joke thief. More like the time thief. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh Hey everyone, welcome to the Flop-Eyes, I'm Dan McCoy. Oh hey there, Dan, it's me, Stuart Wellington. Hey guys, hey Dan, hey Stu, hey listeners, it's me, Elliott Kaelin, the last one of the threesome. I'm the one that makes it a trio, triplets if you will, a tricycle, you know, from Belleville, triplets, and so forth, three, triceratops. If we were horns, that's the dinosaur we'd be on.

Thanks for explaining the number three. You would be the Holy ghost if I was the Kid Yeah, it's the dad the kid and the holy ghost. Yeah, I think the Trinity. I think is the dad Disney's the kid and the Holy Ghost Man DVD or digital streaming Streaming I Disney plus coming soon. Oh wow now was that, we get a nugget from that plug? Is that to distinguish it from the old movie, the kids? Charlie Chaplin's the kid.

I have to assume so. Yeah. All right. Was Bruce Willis in that too? Yes he was. So guys, he was just a tiny little egg in that movie This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it and oh boy We're into theme month season

Oh, and my season I mean two months that are back. Yep, so just grab this and then there's cajamas We skip over there's no real theme in november but sorry yeah so this is the type of month where you just grab on to that episode to rag it over to your garbage bin and cycle everyone no these are everyone's favorite episodes the theme the theme episode so Dan what what's the theme of this month this is a small trip or as you would say as you would say based on your twitter based on her name of roller coasters the premise of this month okay well that's a reference to an argument Dan and I had over twitter based on your Twitter based on your name of rollercoasters, the premise of this month. Okay, well, yeah.

That's a reference to an argument Dan and I had over Twitter over whether Space Mountain had a premise or a theme. I'm glad that in addition to our two hour podcast, we're giving listeners homework to go check out on Twitter.com. Well, that's like, that's like, there's a little asterix next to it that says like, see Dan's Twitter feeds, smile and stand. Like you'd see see an old Marvel. Yeah, we should do it more like Marvel comics It should be like a bunch of interlocking things. You have to collect all the different ones to really understand it

It's called a crossover. It's called a crossover. I mean, I'm just describing how they connect the interlock I wasn't I'd not like I'm unfamiliar with the idea But you do take the Marvel comics back in the day and you'd fold them into, I don't know, like lion-shaped robots, and then you would tape them together into a giant robot man who has a sword. Yeah. Okay, what was I explaining? Oh, this is Small Tempor.

Small Vemper. Small Tempor. Small Vemper. It's where we watch smaller movies. Normally, we like to. Like physically, like a mini disc, well, kind of. It's on the head of a pin. Normally, we are the David's fighting Hollywood's Goliath,

and this is the one month where we get to punch a baby. Well, small movies that, you know, you know, we punch punch down yeah we're bringing them to the audience's attention just to tell them how bad they are yeah yeah and for the first movie in the month we were returning to the Frank D'Angelo Well one of our favorite bad otors. Elliot can you give us a quick breakdown on who Frank D'Angelo is? So Frank D'Angelo as long So Frank D'Angelo, as long time listeners may know, and most other people won't know unless you live in Toronto.

Frank D'Angelo is a Toronto-based beverage magnate who has a Hentur. And what? And a restaurant tour. Yeah, I think his restaurant got closed, right? I mean, it's featured prominently in this movie, but yeah, it's probably closed. I think it did close. Well, he had more than one restaurant. The In Your Ear supper club,

or whatever it was called, forget about it, so. Forget about it, which is, yeah, where this was shot most of it. Yeah, that's one of them, but also he has attempted to turn himself into a media mogul in Canada. He was the host of a television show

and he writes, directs, produces, I think does the music for and maybe even edits and stars in his own films. And so we've done a couple of his no deposit we did, Sicilian vampire we did. Now usually one of his calling cards is he takes, you know, semi-retired, elderly movie stars and pays them to appear in what they think

are gonna be real movies. This one, there's not that much of that. Yeah, there's just a bald one. There's not that much movie. And I was like, the whole time I was watching, I was like, this is the movie that got an eight minute standing ovation at the Venice Film Festival. Like, this is the one everyone's talking about

on social media, the joke thief. Yeah, I got the golden lion as of yesterday. Speaking of which, there are two reviews that linked from IMDB of this movie. The first one is like, you know, pretty soft review in the movie. Like, it well enough, had a few interesting pieces of information and like that it was shot. Forget about the separate club. in I believe two days this movie was taken they they took to shoot this I mean that does that is it looks like it was shot in one day so the other review is a ridiculously absurdly glowing one that I assume is the result of a bribe or something that Frank D'Angelo wrote under assumed name or

Something remember yeah, yeah all reviews with the initials and be or the work of Neil Brie So guys the things here the things that you know about Frank D'Angelo in all of his movies that we've seen so far is Each of Frank D'Angelo's movies no matter if they're a horror film about a vampire or a drama about a man who's down on his luck, or in this case a comedy drama, I'm not sure about a comedian. The main theme of them is that Frank D'Angelo is the greatest guy in the world and everybody loves him and people will do anything for Frank D'Angelo. Yeah. He really plays with that persona in this movie and interesting and by interesting, I mean, not well thought through ways. Yeah, battling ways that undercut the message of the film.

What I love is he always hires all these actors who are constantly trying to get him to do things and telling him how great he is. And he's always like, I don't have time for this. Why you bothering me? No, don't skip to the bloops. Yeah, I mean, granted, like, this is a movie where the first 20 minutes is like at least 15 minutes of phone calls. Well, he does, he has a lot of, his movies often start with phone calls, with him catching

up on the other characters. So let's just get into the movie, huh? We open up with a, this is something new for Frank D'Angelo kind of time passing montage as we watch a boy with slick back hair in the leather jacket practicing kind of borscht belt crap jokes in front of a mirror and dissolving into an older version of himself and then an even older version of himself and then finally Frank D'Angelo, who has been apparently for years practicing the same jokes in the same clothes in front of the same mirror. Yeah, sorry, this is the first thing I want to object to because

why are you objecting to the fact that you said dissolving because his body doesn't like dissimilar you know, it's not like in the remember the time video and Michael Jackson turns into sand it's not like that's my first objection. The second objection is although we will see some things later on that resemble traditional stand-up comedy, Frank DiAngelo for his character seems to believe that stand-up is telling,

you know, street jokes or joke book jokes like... Like book jokes. He tells a Polish joke. Like his whole act throughout the film. And it's weird that, so this this movie is there's a lot of filler There's as I was saying to Dan and Stewart when I watched it This is probably the least amount of movie I've ever seen in a movie it somehow is maybe seven tenths filler at 87 minutes long and a lot of the movie is just footage of stand-ups doing their acts

But then you have Frank D'Angelo who's act. Yeah, is entirely jokebook jokes. Yeah, if it's blonde jokes, if he is a joke thief, he is stolen those jokes from 101 yucks. Like. Well, and Dan, you're gonna, you're gonna, don't spoil the fact that as, as the movie goes on, we get close to the ending, we realize we're never gonna see him steal a joke. I know. We'll learn why he got the name joke thief. Because now we're watching two guys meet. One of them will soon learn is Simon's manager, Sal, who's played by, I forget the actor's name, but he is often Frank D'Angelo's stooge in these movies.

He has this other guy who is that Danny Baldwin or is it a different guy? Yep. Daniel Baldwin. Okay. Daniel Baldwin who runs this club, which will soon learn later his name is the comedy, is the called the basement comedy club. He says, come on, can you put Simon on the show as a favorite of me? And he goes, Simon, the joke thief? I don't know.

And goes, do it as a favorite of me. Okay, I'll put him on. We never, he's never called the joke thief again. From this point on, nobody talks about Simon and anything less than the most glowing terms. Yeah. Simon is Frank Daniels character. And it's, he never steals, again, like Dan says, if he stole a joke, it's from like a web page

of jokes that your grandma might like or something like that. I do like that. I do like that the movie opens with him practicing his material in front of a mirror. And then later on, when he's talking to his cabbie, his like magical black man Indian. Right, in this case. Yeah, but that's, I mean, that's the type. That's the type.

He says that he never rehearses, and I'm like, I don't know, I've seen concrete proof of you rehearsing. I mean, the movie seems to be about someone who really doesn't want to be a comedian, but seems to feel some kind of neurotic compulsion to be one, even though he seems to hate it, and it gets in the way of the rest of his life and he's not good at it.

But we'll talk about that, because then we've got to all skip over the little bit of business where the hotel chef at the hotel where Simon lives, I guess, offers him some free food by stealing someone else's room service. And I think it's supposed to be a joke about the food, like disappears when the waiter's back is turned, but it doesn't make sense. It's handled so poorly that I was like, I don't understand what I'm like. This is like a scene.

It's like a scene from an alien. There's a lot of phone calls though. Like we get to watch the guy actually punch in the button. Yeah. And we never know, we never see this chef again. We don't know why he loves Simon so much that he offers him someone else's food. At the risk to his job job I have to assume.

But everyone loves him. Everyone loves him. Simon's manager calls him. He says, oh, and again, I'm just guessing it's his manager. Later on, we see him going over his notes at the comedy club, although he never goes up. So I just assume it's his manager. The manager calls and says, hey, the basement comedy club is going national tonight.

That's not really explained, although we later find out it's on a national cable television channel that they're going live i guess and which is a national weight uh... that that national broadcasting comic can any canadian which i i missed this when it was when it was first said it had to be explained to me later and i'm like

what there's no indication of that later on There's no cameras or anything at the club. Like the way the club is being run watching the film. Yeah. The way the club is being run that night is no different than like a normal night at a comedy club. There's no absolutely. Well, there's one thing, there's one thing different, Dan,

which is that the movie is edited so strangely that unlike a normal comedy club, at this club, comedians go up multiple times per night before the same audience in random order As if they're just drawing their names out of a hat to see who's gonna go on stage next So Simon is like we know he wants to be comedian He's been training his whole life in front of a mirror to do this But his manager calls and this is where Frank D'Angelo's other trademark move of not wanting to do the things other

Characters are begging him to do comes in. He's like, I was about to eat. I don't want to come down to the County Club. And they're like, look, they'll pay you $200 for five minutes, which is crazy. No, and we learn later, this is his first time performing stand-up in public, I guess. So like, they're never going to pay you $200 for five minutes. It's not the first time standing in public. I think he's been blackballed for a while, right? Because of this. It's the first time at the basement, at comedy basement.

Yeah, that's the first time there. I think that's the world. You have to read into it that he's been blackballed because later on, later on, Frank D'Angelo is talking about how this is new to him and stuff like that. It's, anyway, he goes, what am I gonna wear? And his manager says, what you always wear?

Frank D'Angelo then opens the closet where there is one vest hanging on a hanger and nothing else, not even other hangers, which makes me wonder what kind of hotel this is, that does not provide adequate hangarage. And he dissolves to a flashback. Now he learned a little about him. Simon is being told by his dad who runs a car dealership

that Simon is a great car salesman, the best. Nested flashback. We have flashback within the flashback to Simon's first sale as a young man when he sells a car and then back. And I think I think this one of the young versions of him I believe is played by his son or maybe a nephew or something. Yes, he's certainly not an actor. Oh, I forgot to mention that we've also seen that scene where Simon's brother William He's talking to his wife and his wife is like you're too soft on him. You're too good to him And he's like for my brother. I love him. I do anything. I do anything for my brother. I love him It took me a while to realize it was his wife because in most of her scenes

She's just see it like the secretary's desk at the car dealership. She saw it's a family car dealership. The wife is the receptionist and the guy and the husband owns it. It's a family thing, you know? And by the way, she at the end of the movie, like everyone gets like their picture on the, like a clip from them earlier when their name comes up of the actor and hers is presented as lovingly as the rest of them.

And I'm like, what, she was barely, like she's only there to be like, you're too hard, easy on your brother. And that's basically one of two lines she has the whole film. So Dan is the problem that she has no screen time or that she is being treated too nicely, considering she's so mean to Simon and his brother William. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. A, a, a, a charile herodin of a woman. You're saying that at the end when all the actors have their model pose and they sign the screen like at the end of Avengers Endgame that she didn't deserve hers? Like literally all she says is you're too easy on him. And then later on when he comes in in a different flashback, she's like, oh, your brother's right in there. He'll do anything for you different flashback, she's like, oh, your brother's right in there.

He'll do anything for you and like smiles. Like, she's not mad about that. Oh, but I thought that was sarcastic. So Simon, why isn't he a car salesman anymore if he loves it so much? Well, the dad tells him, I want a retire. Simon, you're gonna be the salesman and William, you're gonna be the manager.

And Simon doesn't want his brother to be his boss. But again, by all accounts, Simon's brother seems like he would be Simon's ideal boss. He loves him, he'll gonna be the manager. And Simon doesn't want his brother to be his boss. Again, by all accounts, Simon's brother seems like he would be Simon's ideal boss. He loves him, he'll do anything for him, and he tells him how great he is constantly. But here's the reason we... We find out later, keeps a jacket for him in his office. And also, as we've already learned, Simon's skill set

is he's an amazing salesman. And the fact that like, it's just very weird, it's very weird that he's so mad that the brother is taking over the thing when his dream is to be a comedian. Like, so I'm not very worried about this. Well, here's the thing where, so Simon, like all Frank D'Angelo characters,

is a dour humorless asshole who does not want anyone else to be the boss of him. And has to know at all times that he's the one who's really in charge and the cool one. And we'll see this in a weird way in the bloopers that run through the credits, but uh, so Simon's pointing. I love when the dad is about to give us retirement speech. He's like, you know, all of us, uh,

get put out to pass you some time. Not me, I got plenty of years left, but I'm retiring. Like, like he, like he contradicts himself a couple of times you some time. Not me, I got plenty of years left, but I'm retiring. Like he contradicts himself a couple times, and then we find out later he died shortly afterwards. Yeah, and I looked up the dad, the dad is an actor, a Canadian actor who's been in like 140 things. Like he was in porkeys, he was in black Christmas. He was in, but, but, but, porkeys. Yeah, but, so that's a little bit. That's that's porcupig asking for a ticket to porkeys when it came out in the fears

And he was like they're like not kid. You don't want to see some dudes crank at yank top of a fucking wall Is that what you like anchors came from yeah, probably yeah I mean if anyone that could relate to that it's porcupig who has no crank and I assume had it ripped off in a castle freak type scenario at some point And he probably and he's used a bursting through a hole at the end of something right? True well a drum he's used to bursting through a drum head But sure is that a drum head is that what that supposed to be? Yes, I believe so okay like when people yeah So anyway the dad says Simon. I know you're disappointed

But I believe in your dream of being a stand-up. You're so funny And I want to help you by giving you the family's lucky vest. My dad passed this down to me, and he's going to pass it down to you. And Simon could not look less excited to be getting the lucky vest from his dad. And you're like, is the dad making this up just to make some feel better? That lucky vest, he never wears it. We never see it again.

Does not factor into the movie. And I also got also got to say like the dead makes such a meal out of handing over this lucky vest that my my girlfriend turned to me just like is this gonna be a movie about a magic vest i wish it turns into a movie about magic nothing there's no magic in the world this one so Simon accepts the club offer while looking at the vest. And he calls William and he goes, Hey, can you give me a car? I want a car right now.

And William's like, I can't do that. But I'll tell you what, I'll call you a car. And Simon's like, don't give me an Uber because they all smell like curry. And it's disgusting. Sorry, you're a hero, ladies and gentlemen. Sorry, hero. And William promises, I'll be at the show too.

And he calls him an Uber. Uber as an Indian driver. Uh-oh. What's going to happen to Simon now? He's a racist. Ladies and gentlemen. This is our hero and William promises, I'll be at the show too. And he calls him an Uber, the Uber as an Indian driver. Uh oh, what's gonna happen to Simon now? He's a racist. And the driver, Jerry, is like waiting outside to let him in. Like that's great. I've never had a car service driver waiting outside

like open the back door for me. Have you ever had a magic bag or van style car driver who solves all your life's problems in a car ride that lasts somewhere between 25 minutes and forever? Yeah, I want to say about this this character by the way like the character is the worst kind of like driver. No, he's a great driver. No, he's like the worst kind of like non-white character with no interlife who helps the white character. But, but I will say about this that I think he's the best actor in the movie by far. Oh yes, I mean, just the fact that he manages to,

it's similar to, this is certainly gonna sound strange, I guess, but it's similar to in meatballs too. How we were talking about how John Larkett's character is very much an anti-gay slur, but John Larkett imbues him with a certain level of dignity and grace. And this actor, I didn't look up his name, but he manages to make this character seem

through the terrible writing. See, have the certain amount of dignity to the point where I was like, I'm not sympathizing with this character. I'm sympathizing with the actor having to make these lines kind of work. Because he knows he's playing this type of character, and he's doing it in a way that is not super goofy,

and it's not super, it's not crap. I think he's right, I think he is the best actor in the movie, which again is the faintest of praise, but he does deserve it. Because now we get 13 minutes in, we finally get the opening credits, and then we get set up to, basically, well actually, in a moment we'll learn

what the true structure of the film is, Simon's talking to Jerry his Uber driver being comedian He sounds like he hates it. He tells a blonde joke to the driver the driver does not get it to be fair I didn't get it first either. That was it took me a little bit to puzzle out this probably 80 year old joke about blondes Yeah, I think that we're supposed to think that like Frank is Frank the angel'Angelo's character is funny, and like this guy's not getting it because of cultural differences, but we are agreeing with the driver,

like, oh, these are not good jokes, like they're baffling jokes that we will not laugh at. I mean, throughout the movie, you're gonna see the driver reassuring Frank that he's funny, even though the jokes are not funny, and telling him what a good man he actually is, he can tell he's a good man, I'm like, wow, he's really fighting for that five star rating. Yeah.

Later on, not to jump too far ahead, but later on, when he's pulling up, he, Simon, played by Frank DiAngelo, keeps thinking the Uber driver for, you know, the kind words and the reassurance. And the driver cherry on two different occasions says like no charge and that's on me or like grad S or something. And I'm like, I really hope he's not comping his cab ride. Like I feel I'm kind of stressed out about the idea of this cab ride that takes at least 22 minutes long.

Yeah. It would be would be comfortable. That's the other thing is that they become best friends over the course of this 22 minute ride. Yeah. It would be, would be comfortable. Well, that's the other thing is that they become best friends over the course of this 22 minute ride. Yeah, they learn a little about about each other. And it helps because during that cab ride, multiple times, the camera zooms out of the frosted window and we go into Simon's past. Oh, I want to, yeah, that's, I love, that is, that is, I will say, this is Frank D'Angelo

is inventing something here that I'd never seen before Which is that he has flashed his back by literally gazing out the window and then the camera like he said zooms through the window As if he is driving through his memories Something you should mention is Simon's running very late and he's worried about being late But he keeps telling the driver to slow down because he's going too fast and the driver seems to be driving at if anything a quite slow speed like I think I could walk faster than this car. And do you think that was on purpose that Frank D'Angelo's character it does not actually want to, is worried about performing and so he can slow down, slow down. But where is

it just that he just, they just couldn't get across what that was actually happening in the city. Yeah, this is one, this is also one of the things that bothered me from a comedy standpoint about the movie. Like, okay, I've done stand-up comedy. It was never like a big part of my coming up and doing comedy, but I have done it. And I've done it once or twice in a real club. And rather than a friendly room like the UCB or something.

Or like rather than a done up Toronto and uh... Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Where everyone in the audience is being paid by you to be there. And I guess if they're being paid they should have fucking laughed harder. And I guess, and I guess um you know, they, like they're filming this. So things might be a little tighter. But again, you don't see the cameras.

You don't see anyone being concerned about all of that. And on a normal comedy night, like if you're running late as he naturally is, because he only learned about the show right beforehand, like, they wouldn't be like, he keeps getting these frenzied calls, like, get down here, get down here, and they would just put him on whenever they fucking could find a spot for him. Well, well, I think the person who's calling him is not the person running the show. It's his manager who's like, get down here. You're basically saying, is you're going to screw this up if you can show up.

Yeah, but here's one of my many screenplay fixes I'm going to offer. There's a critic, oh wow, character that we find way. I mean, it should Frank Daniels send you a check for this, or is this just your online master class? Yeah, this is my online master class. But there's a critic in the audience, we find out later. Oh, you're saying that maybe they should have planted that a little earlier to provide some stakes for the man. that maybe they should have planted that a little earlier to provide some stakes for the man. Yeah, they should have been like a rat or two wee big nights at you. Yeah, he should be calling being like, Oh, the critics getting tired. It looks like he might leave. You know, you got to get down here. If you want, you know, something

like that. I don't know. Anyway, no, Dan, I think they made the movie up as they went along. That's part of it. But so Simon, as Stuart said, he zoomed through the car window to flash back to him, asking his brother for money. And the brother tells him, I can't just give you money ahead of payday. You go out there, sell a car right now, I'll cut you to check for the commission immediately. Simon walks out, instantly sells a car,

despite being the lowest energy sales I've ever seen and the most off-putting sales I've ever seen, basically sells the car by making the customer feel amasculated. The customers are like, I should go talk to my wife before I buy this and go, okay, let me just, I wanna hold the car for you. customer feel amazulated, the customers like, I should go talk to my wife before I buy this and he goes, okay, let me just, I wanna hold the car for you.

It's a great car. He keeps repeating the same things about the car because he knows like four things about the car. He's like, I'll just put it down here, I'll write in this box, I'll just say, has to ask wife's permission. And the guy's like, instantly his face turns cold and angry like a northern Toronto

winter. The storm clouds roll in. And he's like, I don't need anyone's permission to buy a fucking car. I'm gonna buy it. And it was like one of those things where I wondered if, uh, because there've been times when I'm like when I bought a car where it was like I can feel myself reacting emotionally to things that the salesman is saying and I know he's saying them to get me to have that reaction and I kept wondering if that character knew he was falling for the easiest oldest trap in the book. Yeah. And so all right also with these car window flashbacks I want to say something in regards to those and this advice to Frank Angelo you're you're addressing the entire audience. This is more scripted, Dr. Advice.

So, so Frank, I hope you're listening. So, okay, this movie has a baffling timeline to it. Like, the way it plays with chronology is fast and loose. And I know that you, Elliot, have some things you want to say about that. But I just want to introduce one thought. And that's like, that is, the beginning of the movie is very hard to follow because of these nested flashbacks and whatever and we're not familiar with the character

at all. I think that there should not be a flashback until he's in the car. All the flashbacks should be in the car when we're primed to think like this is a trip and like you're taking a trip down memory lane at the same time. Yeah, interesting. So yeah, just put that up, put that advice in the in the Frank tank. Yeah, Frank tank depending on what you prefer. Frank, the Frank tank in the Frank bank, yeah. And then you turn the Frank crank to pull it out again, open it up.

Don't let that Frank crank at you. Oh, no. Of course not. That's a Frank Wankton. That's a Frank Wankton. Now, Dan, I have two things I want to say about one. I think you're totally right. And two, it feels like you are wasting kind of good notes when there's a larger

problem. It's as if it's as if somebody, somebody tried to sculpt a statue of George Washington out of human shit. And you're like, well, you didn't really get the curls on the wig right. Dan, there's a larger problem with the statue. Well, but he's like trapped in the car. It's like, what is that cosmoveless? Let's stick. Well, ask to the larger problem.

He was like, this is gonna be my cosmoveless. Yeah, because like, you would assume that this comedy show that is important and going out on cable news network is being filmed at night, but all the shots from the car are daytime. It's a bit... It's midday. Chronological problem, I wanted to get into it.

So, so here's the, I want to mention before we get into that further. So now we, so now we go to the comedy basement and MC Daniel Baldwin and his character Freddie C. He intros each of the comics and this is when we get into the real structure of the movie. The real act 2 if you will, which is intercutting just little snippets of actual stand-up comedy from actual stand-ups with Frank D'Angelo in his car having a real soul-bearing heart-to-heart talk with Jerry and the juxtaposition between all these comics telling blowjob jokes, and then Frank D'Angelo

talking to his driver about his mother's death, is so jarring to me. And it's like, among these comics, the real comics, one of them is this character Ed the Sock, who is a real, he's been a fixture in the Canadian comedy scene for years apparently. I was looking it up and I found footage of his, I guess, local television show,

which basically Howard Stern hosted by a sock. Got me like rightly so. Yeah. His material elicits, I don't know, mild humor. Like, mild humor. Yeah, I was like, and so you'll have these scenes, you'll have these scenes where it's at the sock being like, what's with penis size? You'd think you want a guy with a smaller dick.

It wouldn't hurt as much, and then it cuts to Frank being like, yeah, I wasn't there when my dad died. But also I want to make it clear that these real comics are only marginally funnier than Frank with his joke. Oh, no, I mean, they're not superstars. I mean, they're there, there are, this is the, but these are the kind of comedians that like, you would see, I assume, if you went to, yeah, just like a Wednesday night Toronto. I do love that one of the guys gets introduced as the Canadian guy. And I'm like, oh, thanks for differentiating him from the other Canadian guys. Yeah. So the so we have.

So we're going between there. These different comedians again and cutting between them and Simon in the car, telling old jokes and like kind of dour sadness. And as we said, the comedians, you keep cutting to the same ones coming up in different orders. And the car ride just keeps going on. So I'm like, how long is this car ride, how long is this show, are there multiple shows

and he's missing all of them? Or are we and Simon in purgatory? And he just has to sit through this eternal ride.. Well, that's yeah, these are questions I had because there are there are gaps in Simon's story. So like so I assume that whenever you wanted more of Simon's story. No, like they're gaps in what's going on in the car on Simon side. So I assumed that whenever we cut to the comedians, Simon's story was continuing. I remember seeing it. So like, it was unfolding in basically real time,

except for that means that the car ride was not 22 minutes. It was at least 50. Yeah, so I wonder if there's, if there's supposed to be having side-by-side. What was that movie where there's four stories and they're each happening in a quadrerman screen? That time code. Time code. Maybe it's supposed to be like that, but he couldn't get the editing software to make them go on the screen at the same time.

Yeah, but also, yeah, for clarity about what you were saying before, like, when you start the movie, like it's all different comics, so you think, like, oh, we're seeing these comics go on one after the other. But Frank D'Angelo feels like he needs to cut it up, so you would go back to a little bit of a previous comic set. And he also edits their set so bafflingly, like he'll cut it off when you pretty sure that there was a punchline coming.

Mm-hmm. I don't think, I think we don't, I think there's plenty of evidence in the movie to show that Frank the Angel doesn't really understand comedy or what's funny. So anyway, some salient points while we're doing these kind of bouncing back and forth. I'll just tell you about what's going on with Simon. He has a flashback to his mother's death bed.

He's afraid to go in, but his brother guilt some about missing his dad's death. His mom looks fine, by the way. She just looks like she's on a bed in her room. Sometimes that's what happens, Dan. Your criticism there is that she didn't, they didn't get an actual dying person to die on camera. I mean, she's not on any like

machines or anything she's oh Dan Chipper and and awake There is one IV bag or monitor machine placed in what is clearly the same hotel room that Frank Danchler was shooting his scenes in earlier So I'm sure the hotel wasn't gonna let them bring in all these hospitals. I'm just saying I have rarely seen a healthier looking older woman. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dan's like, when's she gonna try out for the next season of American Ninja Warrior? Based on how she held Frank's hand on the suit,

and you're just like you was up to the task. Okay, go on. And she asks Simon why he's so sad, and he doesn't have an answer for that. The Uber driver says, oh, Simon, you need a wife. And Simon flashes back to flirting with a couple different women at, I assume, the forget about a separate club. And he's got this, and he has this, we then cut to this montage of him going through his regular routine at his favorite restaurant where he orders the same thing every time, the

flame and yawn with the lobster tail. And then there's some, like, the angel hair, hair Prutanesco the way that he likes it done. They're like can you do the angel hair the way I like it put an escrow and it goes and bring me my usual wine and of course and then of course he has a great meal the women are loving it every time he says I've got a phone call he gets up touches their shoulders he walks out and then he just leaves and the woman gets stuck with the bill and it's he and at first we think he's just a jerk, but then we learn, oh no, he's a jerk who is testing these women and the woman who laughs when the bill is delivered to her,

she must be his match and he calls her and invites her to a show. We never see her again. I assume she didn't show up to the comedy show. Yeah, I mean, that's the next step of the joke, right? Is that you just don't go to his important comedy show now the thing that I liked about the sea is one of those relationships where they're always challenging each other. It's a Virginia wolf. It's a who's afraid of Virginia wolf. I think so sorry. So what you're saying based on the angle of the cameras now, I got to do a little bit of

detective work, but last time we were in Toronto, I'm pretty sure we ate at the exact same table in the for example of the Pacific Club. It's about to be known what I should have ordered. Well, that's not what you should. I got to say, so my girlfriend who is not Italian grew up for a large part of her. Dan, you're slowly revealing enough information that we'll be able to guess who she is. That's fine. She's not Italian, but she grew up in an Italian-American household

for much of her childhood. And this is one of two points where she was very angry at the movie, and she's like, you wouldn't order Putin-esque it with a surf and turf. The Frank D'Angelo's one of those guys who, like, clearly is Italian, I would say, not Italian-American, Italian-Canadian, but he seems to be living out his movie Goodfell as fantasy of what an Italian is. Yeah. And he doesn't really seem to get, I would say not Italian American, Italian Canadian, but he seems to be living out his movie Goodfellas fantasy

of what an Italian is. And he doesn't really seem to get, it's like a man. Basically every movie he makes could have just been called Salud. It feels like any movie where someone is in American, but they're an ethnic minority, and they go to the country where their family is from, and they feel out of place, and they like, maybe there's more novels like that than than movies like that's what his life seems to be like through these movies. There are three things I want to say about this restaurant scene though very quickly like.

Oh boy. Number one, I said big. Number one, we see this thing repeat three times and when I say we see it repeat three times, we see the whole thing repeat three times we see the whole thing repeat three times as if frank di angelo does not assume that we as the audience will get it that it's the same exact thing happening and and usually and there's a process that you go through while you're watching it was dawning realization that you're gonna have to watch everything happened price

but also your you're also like why does this waiter play along with that's what i wanted to mention is this waiter Jack is, Frank is Simon's regular waiter. I was going to ask him, you guys were served by Jack while you were at the, what is sitting at that table. And Jack helps him go through this trade, which makes Jack a terrible person, but it helps him trick these women. And then I can't imagine it helps the tip he's going to receive.

No, bad tip. It doesn't help the Yelp reviews for the restaurant restaurant helped him trap me to pay I can't imagine it helps the tip he's going to receive. No, bad tip. It doesn't help the Yelp reviews for the restaurant helped him trap me to pay for expensive meal on a date. And then Simon calls him up after each date. And he's like, so how'd she take it? How'd it go? And he's like, thanks for doing that, Jack. And Jack's like, anything for you, Simon.

Why? Why are people so ready to do anything for Simon who is by all available evidence, a terrible person? Well, that's the third thing I wanted to say because at first you think that like he's just scamming a meal and you're like, why is this happening? Like his problem is not that he's without funds. He's not a joke, he's a joke thief, not a food thief. Yeah, but then, but then what you realize.

Although he's a food thief, he does steal someone else's room service for a little bit. That's the truth. That's the thing about him. I mean, but what? You know what, eating food that you pay for does not taste nearly as sweet as food that you have paid the iron price for. Yeah.

Stolen from someone. But what I was going to say is like, once you realize that it's a test, you realize that this whole thing is just another example of Frank D'Angelo's narcissism as like an actor in a person because he doesn't want to show himself being rejected by women. He wants to show himself like being the rejector until there's someone who loves him so much that she overcomes that. And he is so great that these women need to be tested to... And each of these women is far out of his league. They're all much more attractive than him and they have genuine smiles.

He does not show ever in the movie. I feel like if a woman were to reject him, it would be on based on the like, you're too loyal to your family or like, I don't like you're too strong. You're just, you're too good a guy. I'm not used to that. I just can't handle someone who's so good to me. And then he'd throw acid in her face And everyone would be like good going Frank. Good going anything for you

So, yeah, he's terrible anyway, so More talk between Simon and his driver his driver says he has faith Simon is a good man when again There is no evidence it affects many much evidence to the contrary to this More jokes about blow jobs. We there's a long sequence where it's stand- uh... more jokes about blow jobs week there's a long sequence for its stand-up comedians joking about blow jobs well again Simon talks about his regrets and how and how unhappy he is but he he tells and then he finally they do you know they've bonded when Jerry tells the driver hey your car doesn't smell like curry so thanks

and the driver says well it's a new car yeah yes the kind of like you know nudging, happy response to casual racism that you would expect. Maybe, maybe out of people who had known each other like since childhood, and have that kind of joshing relationship, not like some asshole

who just got in that car that morning. Yeah, and it's like the kind of shit we're like, and then Jerry, like playing along with the joke, is that kind of shit where it like confirms with Frank that he's riding with one of the good ones Right or that he's okay in his like racism. Yeah, it's very much It's what happens when there's a huge power imbalance in the dynamic between two people where the racist is like Look, I'm gonna pay you for this service or I could decide not to pay you

So why don't you play along with my racism or else maybe you're not gonna, maybe you're gonna have wasted all this time on nothing. And he's like, oh yes sir, yes of course. Yes, Curry, I'm Indian, thank you, great. Love it. It's like, you can feel the actor swallowing his pride in a way that I was like, is that the character or the actor?

That's good acting. Also the Indian guy saying it is supposed to like validate that Frank is a good guy, but then you're like, wait a minute. Frank, you wrote this line and David didn't just say. Well, that's it. I feel like that happens in a lot of movies where the person who wrote it or the author of the work has either themselves or a surrogate character playing themselves and other characters

are just talking about how great They are and it's like wait a minute hold on. I know that that's Jesse Eisenberg But he's speaking with Woody Allen's mouth I mean that's because they surgically moved Woody Allen's mouth to Jesse Eisenberg's face and Probably one of the most horrific pieces of Hollywood surgery since Well since you know that human centipede incident when they tried to put, they tried to take Tom Cruise,

Will Smith and George Clooney and make them into a mega star, sewing them together. Uh huh. Now, have we arrived at the, that was a really weird thing to put on display at Plano Hollywood, but you know what?

Oh, allow it. Hey, look, it's their own planet, they make the rules, hey, there's Bruno playing a playing harmonica on the stage. They needed something that was so unpleasant to look at that people would distract themselves by watching Bruce Willis play harmonica because usually they would choose to look at anything other than that. I just didn't know whether we have we arrived at the destination yet at this point in

the seven or six. No, no, I'll tell you very quickly. By this point, Jerry has totally validated Simon as a good soul who deserves success and the next time they meet it will be as friends He says I'm on my Simon says I'm honored to call my friends they get to the comedy basement They hug and I assume Simon has been taught to be grateful for the things in his life that he was not grateful about before Maybe he's been given courage. It's so unclear what lessons Simon has learned from all this. I don't know, but Simon has finally made it

to the comedy basement. Time for him to go up on stage. First, the comedy columnist is there. Yeah, let me make the point, like this is what I was waiting for. And it's kind of like what you were saying there before. Like, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me buckle my seatbelt, Dan.

Okay. Okay. I didn't pull the shoulder harness down so I don't get thrown out of the ride. I mean, like I said, Elliott kind of already made this point, but a little bit like I have no idea what the catharsis is in this movie because if we look back on what Simon has flashed back to, like the troubles in his life, they basically boil down to his parents died, which I don't want to minimize, because

I know it's a very difficult thing to go through, but like... I mean, sometimes people turn into Batman when that happens. That's how difficult it is. Well, but that's a violent early death, whereas like both of these people seem to have lived rich, full lives, and died of old age. And appeared to be in the prime of health, moments before being snatched away. They went out at their peak, like Joe D'Amegio. So there's that, and I guess the fact that he's a joke thief,

which again is not really reference and is his fault, if it's true. I mean, that's one of the things where if this movie wasn't called the joke thief, you would never get the idea that he's a joke thief. It would be about a man who cannot, who wants to be a comedian, but is so full of stage fright, or maybe worried about rejection or loss. Like, you can make a movie about someone who has lost family members and wants to make people laugh but is worried that like, they'll lose the audience or something like that. And that's the surrogate family they've always been looking for.

But like, that's not what the movie is. The movie's called The Joke Thief. So you see me, it's about a guy who stole jokes and has to be redeemed. But you never see him steal a joke except all of his jokes. Yeah, I mean, some of the domain jokes. He's gone through so little hardship in his life other than the fact that he has not made it as a stand-up comic, which is one of the hardest things in the world to do.

So, like, I don't know what would be. Especially when most of your performing experiences in front of a mirror in your house. Yeah, I feel like the title of the movie should have been called like number one worst cab customer of all time because it, I mean, it's slightly edges out collateral for that title. It's like, it goes like Martin Scorsese and Tacy Driver Frank Angelo in this movie collateral. Now, where does a stoooper fit in this? Oh, wow. That's a tough one. Based on the fact that I haven't seen it.

But I like the people in it more. Do you like the title of it? Since it has your name? I mean, yeah, I like everything that has my name a little bit. That's why Stuart Panken is my favorite celebrity. Not necessarily the new star, Stuart Panken. That's right. You grew up having a big rush on Gloria Stewart. Yepward thinking. That's right.

You grew up having a big rush on Gloria Stewart. Yep. And we got a more. You enjoy eating stew. Uh-huh. As long as that stew is it made out of the body of Jimmy Stewart. Okay. Let's move forward, guys.

So he gets to the comedy club. Everybody like looks at him and nods and they're like, oh, I heard of you, you're the best. He goes to the comedy columnist and he goes, hey, how come you never written about me? And he goes, because I write about comedians, which is supposed to be like a big, you know, put down. But he's barely performing. Oh, that's right. Earlier on, he mentioned to Jerry, as I think Stuart mentioned, that he says, he never rehearses, but maybe you should. And it's like dude

Yeah, you have to what are you doing? Yeah, never rehearses like what anyway, and all it's a crazy thing to say And he's hanging out with all the supportive comics backstage again people who are supportive even though He's supposed to be a joke thief and comedians would be very like suspicious of him at best and all the comics are hanging out In the green room after they performed. Because they're gonna have to go right back up again. I can't see in how this club works. Yeah, again, as someone who has done it a few times at least,

like comedians, as soon as their set is done, they either leave or go to the bar in the back of the room. Now, I do like how the majority of the jokes are like super old- fashioned and they're all like Pretty misogynistic Like oh man, this is great. I'm glad that we let somebody's fucking grandpa pick the fucking I mean I'm sure the Frank D'Alanche will find all these jokes hilarious Yeah, and so as Dan mentioned normally they would all leave but this being the comedy carousel or comedy shooting gallery

where randomly comics just pop up to tell you things. They're still there. So Simon hangs around through multiple acts to get to his turn and it's like, okay, time for him to go up. Let's see him. No, wait, they're introducing a different comedian. And I will say that this is a very real depiction of what a comedy club is like, where you think the show is gonna be over and then we got one more guy coming up and you're like, oh God, I'm done, I don't need any more.

Yeah, and this is also the point when I was actually yelling at the screen because I'm like, movie, you've reached the climax and now you're gonna grind to a halt to show all of this guy's set Grind to a halt this movie that has had almost no narrative momentarily tire time I have you're saying Dan like if they thought he was a joke thief Why are they acting that way? I think by this point in the movie they have all forgotten

It's called the joke. It's supposed to be about a joke thief. They just forgot that They don't remember it's now just about a great comedian who hasn't had his deal. We watch an entire act of this guy telling the Italian jokes. And which is also like, why would you put a comedian to this nothing but Italian jokes in your Frank D'Angelo movie? So it makes Frank D'Angelo seem even less special than he would otherwise be.

Yeah, this was the other time that my girlfriend was like angry at the movies. Again, grew up in an Italian American household. Was she angry because she was laughing so hard and she split her sides? Yeah, that's right. Like, why'd you do this to me, Joe? No, she's like, just because it's like the worst Italian

American stereotypes and she's like, I never encountered anyone like this. I do like that guy that the guy has a joke where the premise is that he doesn't like the current American president because he's not enough like a gangster. Like, yep. Clearly this guy knows what the world needs.

I was surprised in the movie briefly got political with the man's age from very strange. I was in the middle of this. Where I was like, that threw me off because I was like, is this guy an anti-Trump? Because he reminds me of all the Trump voters that I knew that I grew up with. Yeah, yeah.

Like the guy, like my close family friend who like I'm sure voted for Trump like and is it like he reminds me so much of that guy. And is he a New Jersey standup comedian who tells Mafioso based jokes? Yeah, anyway, he's in this movie. And so Simon Wates, he flashes back to his dad, telling him his funny, Jerry telling him his funny,

finally, Lord above. We are seven minutes away from the end of this 87-minute movie. And it's like we've been here forever. MC Daniel Baldwin, Freddy C. He comes up and he gives the most heartfelt intro to Simon. This is a guy who he only put up as a favor to a friend and he's like, it means so much to me To have this guy coming up making his basement his comedy basement debut. I mean Simon whatever his name is I will say that is that is true to a comedy MC. They will lie about you being great

But he taught it's not even like he's like this guy's a great comedian He talks about him as if this is his a beloved, you know, landmark icon of the comedy world. Yeah, I mean, I feel like they talked about how Simon is a good car salesman. I think Freddie C is the good salesman. So Simon comes up, his act consists of two jokes. One is about a penguin with car trouble that turns out to be a blowjob joke. And the other is about a joke about a dog who can buy drinks, but then waits the money on a prostitute.

That's the entire act. And the audience loves it. Yeah. And the two jokes, the critic nods approvingly from the audience. And points to his paper like, you're going to be in it tonight. And you're going to be in this report. And it's like, and I started thinking now like, so that's $200. They paid him $100 per joke.

That's amazing. Yeah. And I mean, they were long jokes. I mean, that that's the rate of like, now I'm gonna joke to Bob. But weird is that, what's weird is that they made a point of saying that this set is gonna be televised. Why is it such a big deal that the critic is also there?

Like, it's not like people are gonna see it. It doesn't really matter if what the critic says. Not if it makes sense. Stuart, you just don't understand the critics does. Not if it makes sense. Stuart, you just don't understand the comedy world. All right, the most important thing is to get on the side of the critics. Because Frank D'Angelo understands comedy based on what he saw in the movie Sweet Smell of Success, where the only way to get success is to be in the columns the next

day. And so that's Simon walks off to applause and that's the movie. The title comes up the joke thief. They somehow remember that's what the movie is called. There's a dedication card to Frank D'Angelo's father and we get in the end credits, Ed the sock gets his own end credit title card for himself and we get to Dan hinted earlier, there's a blooper reel. And I want to take a couple minutes to talk about this because this is much like the movie misunderstands comedy and movies and human behavior. The blooper reel, it's supposed to be like blooper reels is like a real of people screwing up and having fun

and being silly. Johnny Knoxville getting his balls smashed in. Well, that's also most of the movie, but yeah, that's the blooper reel too. But this blooper reel is almost entirely Frank D'Angelo berating the crew for doing things wrong. Like telling him that the boom mic slipped down, getting mad at one of the actors Frank D'Angelo, be raiding the crew for doing things wrong. Like telling him that the boom mic slipped down, getting mad at one of the actors for doing

something wrong, and he's just being a jerk. And it's like, I have two theories about this, either one, after playing a sad sack for the whole movie, even a sad sack everyone in the movie loves and will do anything for. He had to reassure the audience that he is the boss, he is in charge, so he's going to show you what it's really like on the set, or that it's like the end of a face in the crowd. And like the editor wanted to show the world with a bad guy Frank Angelou. So he's snuck in this footage of him being a jerk. But it's I was so baffled by these.

I was so excited because as everyone knows, anytime I finish any movie, even like the favorite, I fast forward to the credits to see if there are any bloops. Almost no, there's on. Anytime my wife and I are watching like a really heavy, serious movie. I like to cut the tension by whenever it ends, like when spotlight was over, I was like, okay, let's just check and see if there are any bloops and I fast forward to the credits. But I was like, finally bloops and but these bloops are like, again, it's just, it's just on set footage. A Frank D'Angelo telling people that they're wrong about stuff. It's crazy. And you have offered two joke explanations for this.

I want to offer what I believe to be the real explanation, which is Frank D'Angelo is an asshole. And as many, as many assholes. I feel like that, I feel like that dovetails with both of my explanations. Well, but as many assholes do, he thinks that berating other people is all in good fun. And it's hilarious and everyone's gonna love seeing him berating other people is all in good fun and it's hilarious and everyone's

gonna love seeing him berating these people. Yeah, yeah, seeing him given some on the dozens. Yeah. Well in Canada with the exchange rate it's actually about 16. Shit. Wow. Wow, that's the hackiest joke I've got it's old. I don't know. I got a comedy showcase that you can be a part of forever. No, wait, is't it a basement? I love it. He probably saw Louis and he was like comedy seller. Okay, I'll name my club the comedy basement.

Almost certainly. Almost certainly. Okay, let's move on. Actually, you know what, I never thought about that. This movie makes a lot more sense if Frank Tangello saw Louis the show. Yeah. And was like, oh, I'll do that.

And this is his understanding of what that show is. Like that, that's it. Now that Louis off the air due to, I don't know, some PC based reason, I'm gonna fill that void with my movie. I mean, ironically, Frank Tangello was brought up on charges of sexual harassment. So there, there are like two peas in a pod.

That was the story of Frank Tangello being, the charges were either dropped or, he was found in not guilty and he invited either the prosecutor or the judge to his congratulations party afterwards, which real classy move, classy move Canadian legal system. Well, I like that as a place to give our final judgment, whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie you kinda liked. I'm gonna say, I usually really like these small timber episodes.

I do feel... Small Fember. As we said, a little guilty about... Say no boosting an asshole? Well, yeah, I was gonna say punching down, but also, I feel less guilty about it because he's such a jerk. Yeah. But I usually really enjoy these because they're always sillier and weirder and they give us a chance to do something different. I

will say that I yelled at the screen more at this one. I think because in addition to the baffling narrative choices, again, I'm like he misunderstands comedy so much. You're like watching it and you're like, do a little fucking research on how any of this works. Like, you have comics in your movie. Ask one of them whether any of this makes sense. But that being said, it is so dumb and so weird that I would say it's probably a good bad movie. Yeah, I mean, it's, I would feel of the Frank D'Angelo movies we've watched. I, this one was the least pleasant.

Yeah. and there's so many things that I can't tell you. So, I'm just gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say,

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say,

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I guess it's a good bad movie. I mean, you probably shouldn't support him because he's an asshole. So yeah, that's the other thing.

Like figure out a way of seeing it if you want to without giving him money. And I would, yeah, I would also call it a good bad movie because it is baffling, but I would say similarly, if you're gonna watch a Frank D'Angelo movie in some way that involves not giving money to him, this is not the one to start with. I would still say that no deposit is the one to start with.

Yeah, it's the best. But if you're really, if you want to dig further into the Frank D'Angelo, into the Frank D'Angeloverse, then go ahead with this one. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hi, it's me, Paula Poundstone. And it's me, Adam Felber. We have a podcast called Nobody Listening to Polypound Stone.

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Woke trips through the history of wrestling and joke about the finer points of people wearing spandex What a match and the Titanights podcast will be back every week! Thursdays on MaximumFund.org, or wherever you get podcasts! Please, these hosts and families! Tights and Bikes! Podcasts! Tights and Bikes! Tights and Bikes! Tights and Bikes! So, moving on, let me unlock my phone so I can read a few ads.

Professional. The first one is Squarespace. Hey, why not? So Dan, does the ad copy for Squarespace start with hey? Because you always start on that way. Well, here's the thing, like I was looking at it and most of them sort of like give you a little intro and I was taking off guard by the fact that it goes right into bullet points. So, but I want to say, as a by word of explanation, Squarespace is one of our sponsors and they

help you make websites where you can blog or publish content, sell products and services of all kinds and more, you know, more is like, you know, whatever your little heart desires. Squarespace does this part. Is that clarified in the copy? I don't know. Are you writing checks that they can't cash? Again, I mean, like our great sponsor, which is a great sponsor, they probably don't want

to criticize in the copy, but I always get taken off-guard like that as well, because there are two bullet points and then and more. But Squarespace does this by giving you beautiful customizable templates created by world-class designers, everything optimized for mobile right out of the box, a new way to buy domains and choose from over 200 extensions, and free and secure hosting. So head to squarespace.com slash flop for free trial

and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code, flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Now Dan, I had an idea for a website and I was wondering if you thought squarespace would be able to help me with it. Probably, but go on. Okay, so I was wondering if you thought Squarespace would be able to help me with it. Probably, but go on. Okay, so I was inspired by this movie.

I really was inspired by the driver, Jerry, as Simon dubs him, and how he wasn't just a driver of a man in a car. He was a driver of a man's soul. And he really gave him the spiritual and philosophical and therapeutic uplift he needed, all in that that little drive and so inspired by Jerry and Uber I want to start my own car service. I called jubber named after Jerry, of course and the and With jubber you get in the car and you're not just getting a ride

You're getting a soul and you're getting a listening ear and you're getting some good advice So that's jubber now again, this is different from my previous website, juber.com, which was candies in the shape of Jews. It was like goobers, but they're in the shape of Jews. Famous Jews, you know, like Shulamalekum, Sydney Pollock, you know, all sorts of famous Jews. But that was a different, that was juber.com. So this is juber.org, because I feel like what we're doing

here is more of a charitable, not for profit thing, although we are expecting a profit. So that's juber.org for someone like Jerry to listen to your problems and give you advice while you get driven to where you're going. Or juber.com, if you're still interested, I have a warehouse full of candy and the shape of Jews. If anyone, if you ever wanted a piece of candy shape like Joseph Heller or a piece of candy shape like Golda My Air, just let me know.

They're very, as- Shape like half of William Shatton, right? Yeah, that's, yep. As it says on the bag, very chewy, very chewy. That's juber.com. Just again, I'll sell it to you cut rate, because I got a warehouse full of things. They did not move.

Now, and juber.org is Jerry's Uber driver. Now, Elliot, I just want to take a moment to say, even though I know that you are one of the chosen people that may be very uncomfortable. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Okay. I mean, I'm just trying to celebrate my heritage in the form of delicious candy, but okay.

Moving on to Dashlane, the flop has been supported in part by Dashlane, which is a password management app that keeps all of your online information safe, secure, encrypted, and easy to access. That's what I'm saying. And actually, remember all of your passwords so you don't have to. Can't remember the special characters, capitalization, and the length requirements for every single website you've ever visited in your entire life? Dashlane can. That sounds great, because, you know, I've been doing this podcast for a long time and Every time we're about to do every time we're about to do an intro. I always forget how to do it

Can you identify that all day? Yeah, well, I'm glad that you finally admit it too. It's short take a little weight off my shoulders But Dashlane seamlessly autophills all of your, syncing automatically across your computer phone and tablet. It even stores payment details. So go ahead and get weird with your passwords or let Dashlane generate a real stumper for you. They'll keep it safely stored in a password vault only you can unlock. Check out www.dashlane.com slashflop to get Dashlane free on your first device.

As a special offer for the Flophouse fans, they're even offering a 30-day free trial of Dashlane premium, including VPN, pardon me, dark web monitoring. Sorry, there was a line break. They're not offering the dark web to you. Dark web monitoring. Well, it's eyes lit up in excitement. And more. What corridors of the internet super highway, Gini?

If you like Dashlane, use code, flop at checkout to save 10% on your premium subscription. I was just thinking that the dark web would be a great place for me to sell all these bags of jubars that I have. That I have no alone load. Now, guys. I think I realized one of the problems with it otherwise flawless product Which is I mentioned those famous names, but the famous names just kind of to get you in the door I couldn't get the rights to the likenesses to a lot of different famous Jews So so most of the jubber candies are just look like my relatives like my uncle Gary my brother

Like my aunt Wendy like my Uncle Gary, my brother, like my aunt Wendy, like my Uncle Lou, like that. Yeah, there's a little asterisk on the box and it says artist impression, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like, some of my great grandparents, like Greg Grandpa Eddie, my great aunt Leah. So like, do you think that was it

that people were not that interested in candy shapes like Jews they had never heard of? Could be. I thought you were gonna say that they were, because you can get the rights they were just shaped like normal gummy bears. I mean, isn't it, isn't it, a choc like covered like raisin or a peanut or some shit? A guber is? No, I just stole the name. I didn't, look, there's still chewy gummy candies. I guess if you say, a hard G,

you could make it. No, no, jubbers are different. Anyway, like, yeah, so I guess people didn't want to eat like a candy in the shape of my dad's cousin, Shelley. Is that possible? I find that baffling, but. So you guys have jumbo trams that I sent to you. Who wants to go first?

I, hmm, it looks like you're gonna go. I'm ready to go with a JoJo jumbo. Do, what wrong? Why don't you go first, do? Okay, do you need to interrupt me again? Yeah. Cool, let's do this thing. This message is for Ben and Chip.

The message is from Lucy and Kudow. I was gonna get a jumbo tron celebrating the first anniversary of your move to New York. But I forgot, so instead here's one for the 15-month anniversary. Unless this airs after September or in this case, small-vember. In which case, it's the thought that counts. Anyway, hooray for you. I love you, I'm proud of you, and I'm still very jealous that you get to go to hinterlands. That's hinterlands bar located at 739 Church Avenue in Brooklyn, New York.

And you should be jealous, because even if Stuart and Charlene didn't own it, I think it would be one of my favorite bars. Oh, bless you. That's very nice. And bless bless you. It's very nice. And bless this message. It's a very lovely sentiment. Speaking of lovely sentiments, here comes another one, this message is for Dale, and the messages from Sage, Ivy, and Katie.

And that message is, hey, Dad-alow, whether you're building a weeping angel statue, making movies shorts, or dancing to 80s new wave, you're the coolest cat around. Thank you for getting us into bad movies through MST3K and the Neil Brin cinematic universe. Happy 53rd birthday. Love you forever from your daughters, Sage and Ivy and your wife, Katie. That's very sweet.

What a wonderful birthday message. That's a sweet message, oh wow. Archie is looking adorable on the couch right now. Sorry. And that's the cat report for today. The carer. I was just thinking, no, go break with those sweet messages. Is the sweetness you get only in a delicious chewy candy,

like jubers, getting touch with me. Now, Elliot, recently you've been taking care of the live show info. Do you have that information? I do indeed, because it's called preparation. We've got some live shows coming up. Now, when this episode airs, there will still be time to buy some tickets for the late show in Boston.

That's on September 28th in Boston. We'll be at D.B. U.R. Spity Space, which I think is technically in Brooklyn, but we're calling it Boston. Anyway, we're doing two shows that night. The 7 p.m. show where we'll be talking about Alita, Badelangel, is sold out. But there's still a few tickets left for the 945 show where we'll be talking about Godzilla, King of the Monsters. That's right.

As I said earlier in another episode, it's a double colon night. Alita, colon, Battle Angel, let's seven. Godzilla, colon, King of the Monsters at 945. We'll be doing different shows. We'll be doing, I know Dan and I, and I think you two will be doing different presentations for each show. Yeah. I'm definitely, I've been putting a lot of work into my definitive presentation on the history of the Fast and Furious franchise. So I'm very excited about this. And I will say that my first presentation,

as befitting the early show, is a little more all ages. The second gets a little blue. Which is great because the, actually the reverse, I think. Which is great because the venue, the reverse I think which is great because the The venue the audience has a giant glass window behind them So anybody walking down the street taking their kids out for an ice cream can see your gross. That shit Totally for totally forgot about that. I should switch the order my presentations So that's Boston and at September 28th two different shows if you can stomach the idea of spending multiple hours with us,

I would advise you to go to both shows if you would like. Because of we're doing a late show, this is just a note that if you want to get an merchandise sign from us, we are more likely to be signing for a short amount of time before the shows, or between the two shows. I don't think we're going to have time after the last show, but we'll get to that. And the other live show coming up is in LA Los Angeles. That's right. I love

LA song we didn't hear earlier in the show at all. October 12th on 2019. That'll be at the Regent Theater at 7 p.m. And we're going to be talking about dark Phoenix, the movie that killed the X-Men franchise. Oh boy, can't wait. I'm sure two comic heads like me and Stu will be excited to point out all the differences. Dan likes comics too. Yeah, he too, like crazy cat and yellow kid. No, I mean, not the yellow kid. I don't know, you have it placed prominently on your shelf right next to you. No, your book of erotica.

Yeah. It's true. I do like a lot of old comics, but it's not like, I don't know, like the cats and jammer kids. He's like, if it wasn't in Bill Black but it's not like, I don't know, like the cats and jammer kids. Sure. He's like, if it wasn't in Bill Blackbeard's basement, then I don't want to read it. Anyway, so that's September 28th, 2019 in Boston.

Two different shows, early shows sold out, late show not sold out. If you want some tickets to it, LA show October 12th. And we're going to be talking some big blockbuster movies. All that information is of course also available at flopphousepodcast.com slash events. That's also where you can buy tickets. flopphousepodcast.com slash events for those shows. Mm-hmm.

I think that's it for this sort of thing. Plus, it's it for the episode. Goodbye, everybody. No, no, no, no, this second. Dan, Dan, do you want to mention our new merch real quick? Oh, yeah. So as I said no, no, this second. Dan, Dan, do you want to mention our new merch real quick? Oh, yeah so as I said before our merch contest is over we selected two great designs and they're both available now at

Topotico under the maximum fun section of the I think the site is, I think it is organized, it's subheading podcasts, subheading maximum fun, and then you can find the Flop House merch there. And there's a link to that. If you, you can just Google to Pataco, or you can go to our website again and click on the merch tab. Yeah, it's to Pataco, that's T- A T O C O dot com slash collections slash maximum dash fun So maybe just Google yeah

Just remember it's never too early to start buying holiday gifts, you know There's holidays all the time. I don't want to spoil anything, but I actually bought holiday gifts for both of you Just this week So I guess I'll go to the store. I just said to you, so I'm just saying, I'm showing the foresight as a gift giver that I never show as a podcaster. Oh, wow.

It's a harder skill to market, I guess, but that's OK. I feel like that's the inverse of Mark Marinal. Although he's a great actor, I imagine he's not the best of Mark Marin, although he's a great actor. I imagine he's not the best gift giver, but whatever. Let us, based on the character I get from his show. Let us, let us move along. Uh, I reach, uh, this is, sorry, this is the letter segment. I should just start reading a letter.

This is where we need. Dan, but at least you got the presence bot, Dan. This is where we take letters from listeners. I don't know which there was a dash lane for the structure of this podcast, right? I mean, there is. It's what I use. I literally type up an agenda and I just look at it through the whole episode. But, you know, I haven't said this in a while because we have a huge backlog of letters actually that we'll never ever get to, but if you do want to send a letter,

again, go to the easiest ways to go to our website and click on the contact page. But that would be flop house podcast.com. The aforementioned website that Dan felt it was not necessary to tell you the URL of. So we're not we're not going to be here till inbox zero is what you're saying. No, it's never gonna happen. I mean maybe if there's a precipitous drop in our Popular area. Cool. I hope that's not going to happen. No, it's not going to happen. Not going to happen. Any way, moving on to letters as I was saying, letters for listeners, listeners like you. This first letter is from Alicia Lastname withheld. Silverstone. is from Alicia Last Name withheld. Silverstone.

Alicia writes, I recently had the misfortune to be put through a newer movie, the art of racing in the rain. I really hated it and was gratified to see that the critics on Rotten Tomatoes

did too, giving it an overall score of 42%. Weirdly, at least to me, audiences seem to like it, handing it a 96% approval rating. I was quite surprised that the movie is full of very routine cliches.

One I would dub, one's that I would dub, tiresome at best. Yeah, but that's a movie filled with dogs, right? Like people love fucking dogs, man. They love their dogs. And that's why I like dogs. That's why I like dogs.

It was such a huge hit. Yeah, I like this dog. But mean the the the art of racing the rain does feature the actor who played Jess on Gilmore girls. So automatically that's a not watch for me. Sure he's fine. Characters. Characters. It's like how my parents could never watch Matt about you because they held so much anger over Paul Reiser's character in aliens. I like to pretend they're the same character or that the Paul Reiser character in aliens is the child of the characters in Matt about you. Oh cool yeah.

Okay moving on to the rest of the letter. Yeah it made me wonder if I was missing a bigger picture and I was missing a bigger picture. And I was also curious about what you would say about it. Do you guys see this wide of a disagreement between audience and critics scores often? And if so, what are some movies where the critics panned it, but audiences ate it up? If you're so inclined to speculate,

what accounts for this difference? Thanks guys, and keep flopping, sincerely, Alicia lasting withheld. I think, I like to jump in and say there's some movies that critics panned and audiences ate up. All of them? Yeah, I mean, this happens. Well, it happens with a lot of comedies, I find, right? Or like Transformers movies.

Oh, yeah. Often I'll look up a movie on Wikipedia and it'll say like on Rotten Tomatoes or Metacritic, it has, you know 39% audience cinema school audiences gave it a B+. Or an A- yes, there's most I think my theory is that the critics and the audience members are coming at it from two different points of view critics are coming at it from a I mean sophisticated is the wrong word but a craft point of whereas audience is coming up at it from a sheer pure physical experience of motion point of view, which is not necessarily wrong, but it's why like, when the right when Alicia says that it was just full of cliches like audiences like a lot of those like that they're a cliches because they make people feel a certain way and people like to feel that way. But that's just my theory. I mean, the other thing that goes along with what you were just saying, especially that cliche is that critics see so many more movies than audiences.

So they are more sensitive to cliche. Like they're often looking more for something that takes something on from a novel or like very specific direction. And I mean, you know, it's like the same way that, like if you're really into any particular genre, like over time, I think you're drawn to like the purest forms of that genre

or like the outliers maybe. Yeah, it's like the analogy about like eating peppers, like eating spicy food that like, if you've never eaten spicy food, even the slightest bit spicy food is going to be exciting. But if you're like a crazy, if you're a crazy heat seeker, anything sort of like a ghost pepper is not going to fucking make it twitch. And the, and the idea that like a newbie who chast down on a ghost pepper would like wreck

their palate. They would hate it. Which is why the metacritic score of the Ghost Pepper, the critic review would be very high, but the audience review would be very low, which are usually the movies I like. Well, that's, I still haven't seen a quiet place, but it reminds me what listening to you guys and other people talk about it was like, if you're really into horror movies

and scare movies already, it wasn't that impressive. But if you're an audience that doesn't usually see those types of movies, I'm sure it felt much more new to you. We're something like Mandy, which is what someone who's drenched in horror all the time would gravitate towards because it's new and strange and weird. That would be a ghost pepper for most people. Yeah, yeah. One of them looking at it.

Or the touchstones it uses are a little more like esoteric. Yeah, it's funny that you bring quite a place up because like I was talking about this question just yesterday and that was the exact example I gave. Like, and I have gotten in trouble before by sort of referring to quite a place as like beginner horror, but that's fine. If like horror is not a thing that you normally like,

like, quite places skillfully made, it's not for me because like I've seen a lot of movies like that before, so I'm like, okay, this is what it is, you know? Yeah, I like, I find anytime, I'm a lot of times what I'm talking about, like comics, comic books with people. A lot of modern comics that people use as a gateway, like, books that get them really excited. I end up not caring for because it feels too rudimentary to me or like, it feels like some guy shat out of, like a failed TV pilot that they decide to like, lazily draw. And by the way, by the way, I like Stuart, you were like, maybe that's on me for being too a centere, but also maybe they just shat up. Yeah, some tweet, some tweet.

Yeah, by the way, I want to say that we realize that we're sounding like inseparable synopsis. Yeah, I know, but I think what we're saying is that like, in certain things, we are synops, and so we understand why someone who is not a synop would find more enjoyment in a thing that we find dull because they're not a snob about it. It's like, I think something that a specific movie that this, it's not exactly the same thing,

but recently, most of the critics gave Lion King like a pretty subpar review and they were like, there's no reason to make this. The animals don't show any emotion. There's already this great version of it, but audiences, I mean, it's the number one animated movie in the history of the world right now. I mean, it's not animated, it was live action. Uh, Stu, I hate to break it to you. It's entirely animated.

There's no real things in the whole movie. But for audiences when they're watching it, they're just like Lion King. I love these songs. There's a bunch of animals jumping around. Like this is, I have a place to take my child for two hours when it's hot out. Like fine, okay, that's the line, okay. Like they're coming at it from a dip there. I feel like when a critic watches a movie,

they're like, why does this movie exist and it has to justify its existence? When an audience watches a movie, even when they don't like it, they're like, eh, movie, that was fun, okay, moving along. Which is fun. Did I feel like I wasted my time? Did I, did it forced me to look at my phone the whole time, et cetera.

Like if an audience member doesn't hate a movie, then they're probably fine with it. Media ochre is fine. And that's not because they don't have this great sophisticated palette that everybody needs. It's because they're using it for a different purpose than the credit case, or that you or I might. What fucking snobs we are.

Yeah, yeah, let's move on. Okay, I said it's okay. I said it we are. Yeah, let's move on before that. I said it's okay. I said it's fine. Yeah, I know, but it still sounds kind of sending. Moving on to Alex Lastname with Held, who writes, on a recent episode, you were reminiscing about the Grimland Story books,

which came with EP records of someone reading the narrative. I purchased these books on eBay not long ago, because I was volunteering with an afterschool tutoring program, working with a first grader who was struggling with reading and focus. For some unimaginable reason in the 21st century, this child was obsessed with the Grimmlands franchise. I pretended to- Because it's a great franchise. I pretended to discover the books on the shelf at the tutoring program, and there were at least a partial success in helping him to cite read words like magwa and gizmo, useful and like.

That's great. Um, I was only at this child's insistence that I watched Grimland's two for the first time, and boy did he steer me right. Previously, I had watched Jurassic Park 3 because of a fifth graders' insistence that it was the best of the series, an opinion I do not share,

though I respect the third installment's lean focus on thrilling action action rather than attempting to recendle Spielberg and Wander. That was a little review of Jurassic Park 3. Yeah, yeah, I was slipping in there. Somebody's a lot of box account. Just breach the fucking matrix. What what generationally inappropriate movies or other media did you guys obsess with as children? Cordially Alex last name was held. Yeah, I mean like I think this is Taylor made for Elliot who was born out of time but I want to jump in first and say like

they're you know like there's stuff like I don't know like the Mark's brothers or like old show tunes or Whatever that like I got into because not only having Parents who are older when I when I was born and like and brothers who are much older than you well, I mean they That's not supposed to work. They had me later in life than many people have children. And also, my brothers are 10 and 13 years older. So, like, how does that make you feel? Does it make like fine?

I don't know, like, I don't have any. You don't feel like an afterthought or anything. No, I, my mom, my mom and I were washing dishes one time. And when I was like about 16, an apropos of nothing, she turned to me and said, you were planned, by the way. And I guess like she figured, like, oh, you know, he's reaching an age where he'd be like, doing the she turned to me and said, you were planned by the way. And I guess like she figured like, oh, you know, he's reaching an age where he'd be like doing the math and like,

and like, one thing about that. And I'm just like, I don't care. In that kind of a situation, you want to get out in front of it anyway. Whether or not that's in case. If I was you Dan, let me say that. If I was you Dan,

I just be proud of my parents for as many couples are relinquishing their grasp on intimacy as they get older, that your parents held onto it and were still expressing their love for each other and are really wonderful and very physical way. And I think that's great. Well, I was gonna say that I didn't care because it didn't matter to me the way I got into the world

as long as I'm here, but you just made me uncomfortable with it for the first time in my life, so thanks for that. But other than like... Just sometimes it feels better to rod dog, you know? Other than... Other than... No.

Other than this stuff, I inherited from the older members of my family. Like, I don't know. Like, I got into reading a bunch of Houdini biographies as a kid. I was fascinated by him. Like, he had a very fascinating life. And I have no idea why I was so into him other than I, by happenstance, picked up sort of like a child's biography of his from the library. And it triggered something and I read a bunch of other books,

including more adult biographies. And I think sometimes it just works by like weird chance that something strikes you fancy. But what do you guys think? I mean when I was a teenager I listened I was listening to a lot of Steely Dan, which is strange since I am neither a middle-aged man or a baby boomer. I mean, it's kind of the same thing. But, you sent this question to us at Infants. And it got me thinking about how when I was a kid, we were staying at a vacation house, and I found a collection of an old comic strip

called Scrugey. It's like a baseball comic strip and I remember being like totally obsessed with it and I was like drawing the characters and I have like even Googling it now was hard for me to find it. Googling like baseball comic strip, it took me, I had to go through a lot of pages before I think I found what it was. And like you said, it was all happenstance when I knocked over that thing and the map fell out and then I followed the map to the ancient Pharaoh's tomb. Yeah, you had to unlock the decode the rebus. Yeah, I don't know.

I just always liked stuff that was older. I mean, I grew up in the, as a kid, mainly in the 1990s, which I still kind of see as the nature of human civilization and American society in a lot of ways. It was a time of peace and relative, you know, non-unrest as there, like, I mean, right now it's a pretty terrible time. Well, no, well, maybe it's because of that, that the art and culture of the 90s, that I was being exposed to at least as an adolescent teen,

was not about interesting things, but was instead about like young people who couldn't figure out what to do with their lives and their 20s and it's also a way. Yeah, but also a maze of the time. Yeah, and it's also like when irony infected everything, and I often, I think as a kid, I looked back on older things,

and I liked the sincerity of them, because in the 90s, it's when like every commercial couldn't be like, here's our product, we really like it a lot. You'll like it too, which was what? The 80s commercials were like, and instead all the commercials were like, hey man, I'm gonna pretend I'm from the 50s or something dude and the joke is

that I'm uncool and that's what's cool about it and was like, oh, forget it. Like it was just weird nonsense like Quiznos rats or whatever. Yeah, exactly. And so I don't know and you know, so maybe people like that stuff I don't, but I just always liked older things. What are you gonna do? I mean, when I was in, you're saying you mainly like it for the politics that they espouse.

Politics, and especially the racial politics, I was very into, yeah, of course. It was so, it was, everything just, everyone just knew their place back then. Terrible. But, but that was the hard thing, but that was the hard thing as a kid,

like even watching those things and knowing there's things about this that are not okay with me now, but there are things that are okay. But like, you know, when I was really into, it wasn't just old movies, like I was really into like Gertr version of Faust, which I read over and over again, and like the divine comedy over and over again. You prefer that to the Marlow version of Faust? I do prefer it to the Marlow version of Faust. I think it's more interesting. Okay, it's a different podcast. We'll talk about it. But I think a lot of what I was drawn to in that stuff is a lot of it.

I think that's the bonus episode this year, guys. A lot of, a lot of, a comic book fowst which I never read which is like the E.F.O.W. Wolverine who just killed people who were having sex. I never understood what that was. Yeah, you guys can talk about the two versions of Fowst and I'll talk about Phantom of the Paradise based on the Fowst story. And so, I mean, it's really based on Phantom of the Opera, right? Well, it's split. We'll talk about it on the both sides too. Yeah, it'll be in the fast, fast, fast, rock. Like many, like many, uh, brined up Alma Films, it is split.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Santa Mitography, humor. All right. But, uh, but anyway, I think what I was drawn to was more than anything else like emotions and ideas that felt like the author of whatever the work was was like, yes, this is something I want to tell you, or I want you to feel, whereas in the 90s it was a lot of like, it's uncool to own any ideas or emotions and you have

to pretend you don't care about things. So I think that's what it was about. And ironic distance that seems to continue in popularity to this, Debbie. Yes, exactly. Well, because it's hard to undo that, you know. We have a final letter. It's from Steve Lasting with Held, who writes, the original Peach's regularly discussed the upkeep slash mortgage situation on Nicholas Cage's European castle collection, and the black market dinosaur skull has been mentioned.

But I feel like the two albino king cobras he purchased may be his most eccentric financial decision. It's not like live animals appreciate and value, so he must just have really likes the idea of having albino cobras. Discuss Steve last name with you. Well, I mean, I think he's overlooking the possibility that these two albino king cobras could mate

and produce additional albino killing cobras that you could then sell for money to other eccentric. That's a good point. I mean, but maybe also, I was gonna say maybe also like sometimes you can't really put a price on a good snuggle and I don't think any animal snuggles as well. It's a king cobra. You know, I think that would be true if they were constrictors which they're not. Yeah, I googled this and the the king cobra you know i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i They would try to hypnotize me by showing me their backs and then they'd lunge at me, said the actor. I mean, I guess you used what you got, you know. I don't know why the back is the most hypnotic part of the code.

I mean, it's just like that design on it and everything. Yeah, that's the biology of them. Oh, boy. It's like an angler fish. You know, I don't, you know, I don't know why you would have a cobra. Like, I would not have, I assume that these are poison mistakes as cobras are. I don't know why you would keep one of those.

I mean, a constrictor, I barely understand, but. They look cool, Dan. They look real cool. And it's, I think a lot of it is just conversation pieces. Yeah. Also, Nick this cage strikes me as the kind of guy who doesn't always know what to say to guests in his house. So he goes, Hey, take a look at my, my cobras over there. Because he doesn't want to make small talk. He doesn't know what to say. And then that's the conversation.

Where'd you get these cobras? Where do they like? Oh, they're always trying to hypnotize me. Oh, that's an interesting story. Because what else is he, because what else is he going to talk to the PTA group that's meeting at his house that night to plan the ice cream social? I mean, I have a different view which is that I don't think that Nicholas Cage has a hard time with small talk because I don't think he knows what small talk is I think that unprompted even if the cobras weren't around he would probably start talking about the cobras to you But that's just my vision of Nick Cage. Let's let's let's act out that let's role play the situation. Okay, Dan. I'm Nicholas Cage and you are someone who's waiting for a bus next to Nicholas Cage. Okay. Okay. Now what are you doing that you're that is the while you're waiting for this bus?

So wait, hold on. Am I am I striking up a conversation or is Nicholas Cage striking this counter? That's up to you. You you see Nicholas Cage, the actor, right next to you, and you're waiting for a bus. What do you do? Do you just say like, oh, that's Nicholas Cage. I'm too nervous. Do you introduce yourself? Yeah, sorry. That's another wrinkle that I hadn't even thought of that.

I would be aware that he's a famous actor. Also, keep in mind that your character was recently fired from their job as a sanitation worker. That's important backstory. Because it turned out that they were smuggling drugs inside the trash cans. OK, is that a minute work thing? I can't.

I mean, you know, it wasn't a movie minute work. OK, I'm just curious. It was so specific that I didn't know there was from something. So I'm just trying to build this character so you have a base to launch from a conversational Nicholas page. I don't think that is going to play into the conversation, but it is important for a character to have a secret for themselves.

Exactly. And so, Nickless Cage's secret is that he has two L-biner co-brists. Let's see how that plays out in this conversation. So, Dan. No, you feel like you need help string up a conversation, because I would gladly play the character I'll say Dan Hey, it's me Dan. Hey, but did you see hey is that a rare first appearance of Superman comic books

Taking out of that guy's bag. You're a huge Superman fan. You should go talk to him. Oh wait hold on I think I wrecking sir. are you Nicholas Cage? That's question number one. Question two, if so, why are you taking the bus? I have two Elbino cobras. Okay. That's a weird gambit to start with. I mean, that seems dangerous, Mr. Cage. Why would you do that? To answer your other questions, my car is in the shop, because it has two Elbino Cobras in it. I'm afraid to open the doors, because they might bite me. And I thought the garage might be able to handle it.

And what was your other question again? Why do you have two Elbino Cobras? I have two Elbino Cobras. I'm just so happy that he's after losing his job He found somebody you can talk to Is this a monologue just sort of out to it? No, I'm talking to another person waiting for us All right, well now now if now I'm on my way to buy two more albino C cobras. I got a lead on them on the other side of town.

Sir, it seems to me that the first two have caused a lot of problems in your life. Why are you going to multiply the number of albino cobras you have? Well, it's addition, I'm adding two, and I'm multiplying. I mean, it's, I guess that's true. I mean, it's two times two, though, It's I mean it is two times two though also

But I'm adding to two plus two Wow, I'm adding a math argument with the scale when I woke up this morning. I didn't think I would this would be would oh I'm so honored sir I know the other song line you've given me a lot to chew on Much like the albino cobras. I had hoped to chew on at some point, but they wanted to chew on me Well, this is my plan is to answer your larger question I'm hoping that they cancel each other out I don't know this I gotta say this seems a little bit like a old lady who swallows the flies situation

I mean you're not using a different animal to take care of the first animals, but you are multiplying your problems by trying to take care of an animal with an animal. Okay. Two, three points, three points to that, three points that one, it's addition, as mentioned before, non-multiplication. I'll stand by that. Two, who better, who better to take on an animal than another animal? Because only an animal can think like an animal, and number three, yes, I did swallow a fly, I'm not an old lady. Now, I feel like a Mongoose would be the traditional solution

if you're looking for an animal. To get rid of the fly that I swallowed? That doesn't make any sense. I'm not gonna escalate straight from swallowing a fly to swallowing a Mongoose, although, if it would give me the speed and the poison absorbing powers of the man goes then the king cobers would not be such a problem because I could just survive the poison Maybe you should you should ask his number you should ask his number maybe you don't have dinner plan

We are dinner plan best friends at this point basically This is the longest conversation I've had in the past three years sir I would love to have dinner with you to ask you whether you think that swallowing animals gives you their powers. I mean, I realize I'll probably have to pick you up since your car is in the shop. Yeah, although I'll go get it. I mean, I'll see if the guy I'm meeting has a mangoes and then I can just swallow that and then I can drive the car. I'll pick you up, but I'll just have four King Cobras in the back seat All right, well you you swallow a mongoose and you'll be fine Well, here's my card just regard the part about being a sanitation worker because that's no longer true

But it's still your personal number. It's not your work number No, it's my purse. I use cell phone All right, well, I guess that's it for the oh no here comes the bus We're both getting on the bus. Let's go talk to each other for a little bit longer Okay, I'm gonna run and answer the door because I think I have a package coming but that's true That's not me. That's the bus stop. That seems so strange So Yeah, did you I mean yeah, you guys should exchange numbers

He doesn't he doesn't have a lot of friends and you you know he's kind of in a downturn for his life. I guess you'd be on the upswing. Did you say you were an actor? Yeah, no I'm an actor. I'm in movies usually. But I prefer to consider myself a private actor. I do most of my acting and a small closet in my house. That's where I do my best work. Just for me. Oh, my friends back from his house where he was receiving a package. He would talk but he's too busy cracking it up. Hey guys, I thought it'd be fun to see what this package was on air. Now Dan, I'm not offended that you went to answer the Jordi with the package. I am a little offended. You are not waiting till the podcast is

done to open the package. I thought it would be a fun bit. It's a water pick water fluster, which I got because I went to the dentist on Friday And they said I really need to start taking better care of my teeth now not that this isn't fascinating But shall we move on to the final segment of the show since we've gone completely off the rails to the point where I don't know where the rails are Yeah, let's do recommendations of movies that you should watch probably instead of the joke thief life is short But if you want to do same we should watch the joke thief life is short. But if you want to do so. You're saying we should watch the TV show Life is Short? That's a show?

That's Life's Too Short, I think. Life's Too Short, I'm sorry. So I'm going to recommend a movie that I think just went on VOD today. So a week ago or whatever depending on when you listen to this. I'm going to recommend a goofy horror comedy that was I think produced or distributed by Fangoria called satanic panic It's kind of a goofy throwback to classic like I don't want to say slasher's but like I don't and or horror comedies But it it's reminiscent of a lot of like 80s horror tropes.

Think of, if you use Thai West's house of the devil's starting point and you make it much sillier, it's kind of like that. Rebecca Romaine and Jerry O'Connell both turned in really fun performances and it also features a performance by the sister of my buddy Boman Modine Ruby Modine who are both children of Matthew Modine.

So yeah, check it out. I would like to recommend a movie called Always Shine which I got to because so are our max fun, I don't know, co, what, what do you call it? Someone on another max fun thing. April. Max fun neighbor. Max fun neighbor, April wolf of switch plate sisters is co-writing a black Christmas remake or probably by this point has comes out in December. Yeah.

There's any of a trailer. Don't watch watch the trailer it gives too much away okay but take that April because I mean that's what she said oh because I was reading about that movie I found myself reading about the director's previous movie, Always Shine, which I was intrigued by, and I decided to watch. And I enjoyed it quite a bit. It's basically a two-hander, two-women Mackenzie Davis, who I liked quite a bit from Holt Catch Fire

and Blade Runner 2049, and Caitlin Fitzgerald, who is also excellent. And it's a movie about two actresses who in different ways are sort of dealing with the inherent sexism of the industry. And one of them is doing far better than the other because she's sort of playing the game, going along to get along. And the other is a much better actress, but she's quote-unquote difficult. So, like, there are two different points in their career. And they're like, you

know, the kind of people who were friends before, and maybe are still friends out of habit more than anything else because they are, the more successful one is sort of constantly undermining the less successful, and the less successful is filled with bitterness and they go on a trip together and things get hairy. And I liked it a lot. I think that I mean- Is it because they run into a big foot? Yes. I think that like it's interesting. I was reading the reviews of it and the top two reviews were by, one was by April Wolfe and I wonder whether that's how they got connected up because she was a admirer.

And the other was actually by a, another female film critic who I've gotten to know recently off air, Kimber Myers and both of them were pretty glowing about it. And I think that it's striking that they're two of the only female critics who watch it, because I do think that watching it as a man, like it's not necessarily built for me in the same way as it might be for a woman viewer because it is so much about just hidden sexism in day-to-day life life or not so hidden sexism. Yeah. So it probably would strike someone who has to deal with that directly harder, but I still

like to get quite a bit. So all we shine. So you're saying it's strong enough for a man, but it's made for a woman. Yes. That is what I'm saying. Elliot, we have. I'm going to recommend a movie that it's like less a movie and more just to hang out.

And it's a movie that was released in England under the name Nothing Like A Dame, but it's available in America under the name T with the Dames. And it is a films, kind of like Day of Talk, between the actresses Eileen Atkins, Judy Denge, Joan Plowwright, and Maggie Smith, as they talk about kind of their experiences as actresses at the top of British

acting for the past, you know, 60 years or so. And there's a lot of great footage of them at different ages playing different types of roles. And you really get a sense of them as people in a way, and how they're different, you roles, and you really get a sense of them as people in a way, and how they're different, you know, travels through the British, the S.B. and system, have been for them. But also, it's just like, really fun to hang out with. There's a lot of like, caddy, older lady talk about, like Lawrence Olivier and things

like that. So, if you enjoy English actresses, and if you enjoy, great, so the British theater and film, then why not watch T with the Dames, if you're in actresses and if you enjoy greats of the British theater and film, then why not watch Tea with the Dames if you're in the United States or nothing like a dame if you're in England, and it's just super fun and breezy and even when they get into serious topics and things like getting older

or regrets they might have or experiences of not being taken seriously or being savaged by critics, there's still this like fun to the whole thing. So anyway, I enjoyed it a lot. Go ahead and watch it. Well guys, I gotta say, I always enjoy hanging out with you too on the podcast, but I always feel like

there's a little extra zaz when we watch one of these crazy stupid small movies. And so I had a lot of fun. That's because Mr. Zaz is here. Let's just let him in. No, no, don't. He's a murderer. And we have one more coming up,

another small timber episode. And then that's the last episode, right? No, then we series. Then we go into Shocktober, the other. Oh, right. And then we go into November, the month with no theme. Yep. But before we go, that's where the theme is no theme, right?

Yeah, exactly. Before we go, I want to say thank you as always to Maximum Fun, our network. They help us actually be able to do this because we get money through their system. So thank you for that. And they're great. We have a lot of fun being on the network. There's a lot of other great shows. Why don't you check out Switchblade Sisters, for instance, which I talked about already. And while we're talking about it, I feel bad I haven't done this before. I mentioned on the show that Max Fun has been taking over a lot of the production duties from me, which is great. It's made me enjoy doing the show vastly more.

So I just wanted to take a moment to thank Jordan, our editor, who I've been a lot. I would say producer. Producer editor, co-producer editor. I want to thank her for all the great works she does. And I want to apologize on behalf of Dan for, I don't know, for everything, just fucking around. So thanks for listening, thanks to the Max Fun Network and thanks to everyone involved.

If you like this show, please, why not tell someone about it, leave a positive review on iTunes, why don't you tweet about it, Instagram about it, tell people about it. Actually, the iTunes review thing would be super helpful. Why don't you go do that? And why not come CS live on one of those show dates in Boston in just a couple weeks or in LA in October? If you don't live nearby, that's fine.

Just fly out for it. Don't worry about the carbon footprint. Yeah. Well, Stuart and I have started looking at our phones, so you know what that means. We've reached the end of another episode. So, for the fly pass, I've been Dan McCoy. Hey, I'm still Stuart Wellington.

And I'm Elliot Kaelin, or am I Nicholas Cage? Well, here we go again. Only two to four cobras will know for sure. See you next time Bye Now dr. Giggles I believe that's a giggle. Yeah, okay. This is like calling card.

That's not like calling card. The police don't know that he was giggling when he killed. No, he's not. Signature crime. The scene of the crime giggling. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know they call in card. The police don't know that he was giggling when he killed T.A. No, he didn't. Signature crime. The scene of the crime giggling. Well, police investigate. Sometimes they find him. Audience supported.